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thatnarcissisticfeel · 5 months

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I think that a lot of people without NPD have a really poor understanding of "narc supply" or the specific type of positive attention that pwNPD crave. Even the egotypicals who are allies, the ones denounce narc abuse and anti-NPD ableism, don't fully grasp it.

There's this false idea that NPDs like to be worshipped and showered with compliments all of the time, and I mean, yeah, most of us would eat that shit up, but I know that for myself and a lot of other pwNPD it's deeper and much more, I guess, personal?

I don't really know how to describe it, so I'll give an example: As a kid, no one really paid attention to my creative endeavors, my accomplishments, my feelings, etc. And if they DID pay attention, the attention was negative. I could always do better, I could always be smarter, stronger, etc. This came from peers and adults alike. So I developed a coping mechanism where I would tell myself that everyone else was wrong, that I'm actually the best person around, etc. I don't have to explain what disorder I ended up with as an adult as a result of all of that. :P

But anyway - the wound of constantly being ignored at best and insulted at worst is still there. You know how when you're in a group chat or a conversation with multiple people and no one ever pays attention to your comments, while paying attention to everyone else? Yeah, that shit hurts EVERYONE, but especially pwNPD. Even the smallest acknowledgment can be "narc supply."

You know how when you achieve something really cool and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you will be quick to praise OTHER people?

You know how when you post art/edits online and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you compliment someone else's post in the exact same thread?

You know how when you ask your friend to read your favorite book or listen to your favorite artist or whatever because of how much it means to you, and they never do it, but then they read/listen to everyone else's favorite thing at everyone else's recommendation, and how much it pisses you off? (Hurts even more if you have the SAME favorite book/artist and someone reads/listens to it at the other person's recommendation and not at yours.)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could go on and on. That shit would bother anyone, us narcissists aren't alone in being hurt by that, but my G-d, it impacts pwNPD in such a specific way.

But let me flip it around to the positive!

A narcissist doesn't necessarily get their "supply" from someone telling them that they're the coolest person in the world and that they're a god. (Though if you do want to say that to us we probably won't complain!) Sometimes they get their "supply" from something as simple as someone acknowledging their achievements, and giving specific praise on what the achievement was. ("It's so cool that you won a prize in the music recital. The song you played sounds like it was really difficult and I loved your stage presence.")

Being told, "Wow, you did such a great job on your artwork, I love the colors!" goes a very very long way for a narc, especially when said narc is used to being IGNORED for their art.

Hearing, "it's so cool that you like that book, I'll have to read it and tell you my thoughts!" can help a narcissist's interests feel acknowledged.

You might be reading this and thinking, "well, isn't it just basic human interaction to compliment your friends or try out their interests"? And, well, maybe it is, but the whole point of NPD is that most of us grew up without receiving that type of attention, so now we're very very desperate for it - and very, very, VERY sensitive to when it doesn't happen, or is even perceived to not have happened. Something as small as being talked over in a group chat can set us off, but something as small as a simple, "hey, it's so cool that you did this, I love it." can win us over.

And to be completely fair, most of the time us being "ignored" isn't completely intentional. Like, I get it, yeah, sometimes timing just doesn't work out for person A to read my favorite book at my own rec, but by the time person B is in their life, person A can read it, and it's not anything personal. Sometimes the content I make just isn't someone's ~style~ and they support me, they really do, they just don't know what to say. Sometimes someone forgets to respond, or doesn't get a notification when I send them something I made or tell them about something I did. (There is less excuse for being ignored in face-to-face/offline convos though.) But because of the trauma of us constantly being ignored as kids/teens, the smallest little thing hurts and as a result we seek and crave attention EVERYWHERE.

So now, to give in to narc stereotypes of begging for attention: If you're a person without NPD and you genuinely want to help the narcissists you have in your life, the second best thing you can do for us is checking in to make sure we're not overlooked. Try to be sure you're not ignoring us, and if we do something cool, try to compliment it, even if it's something you don't fully "understand." Ask us about what we've been up to lately, what we're proud of about ourselves, and agree with us that what we've done is pretty cool. I mean, you'd do that for any friend, right? It's really not all outlandish for a narc to want that.

(If you're curious what the FIRST best thing you can do for a narcissist is, it's giving us a million dollars unlearning your anti-NPD ableism and calling people out who use narcissist as an insult as a synonym for abuser. Even in "offline" spaces, even when we're not around, even doctors/therapists. Even "narc" abuse survivors.)

#actuallynarcissistic #actuallynpd #npd feels #npd safe #npd culture #my favorite person is literally my favorite person only because she warned me about media that used narcissist as an insult and listened to #an album i liked when literally EVERYONE ELSE i've recced the album to has ignored it. (I've been a fan of said album for ALMOST A DECADE)#like guys it's not that hard to treat us well #(also i mean favorite person in the cluster b way - she's my favorite person in the NT way for many reasons)

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clusterblood · 5 months

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black holes are very npd I base it solely on the feeling of a hole inside which could never be filled and it just takes takes takes and its never enough

#npd things #npd culture is #actually npd #npd awareness #npd safe #npd feels #npd thoughts #idk i added enough of npd tags #npd #i dedicate this post to my first hater. with all due respect (which is none) get a hobby #my hobby is doing patterns about mental disorders

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flashy-mf · 3 months

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I’m a pathetic little god who deserves nothing but admiration and suffering

#flashy ✨ thoughts #cluster b #actually cluster b #actually npd #npd #actually narcissistic #narcissistic personality disorder #npd feels #cluster b safe

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schizonarcc · 3 months

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making my attention seeking behavior and need for narcissistic supply into a kink thing. unnggghhhhhhhh stroke my ego harder mommyyyyy

#gray.html #kaki #actually npd #actually narcissistic #npd safe #npd #npd feels

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narckaveh · 9 months

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thanks YouTube for promoting this fucking garbage

btw if you see this ad, report it, block it, whatever. I can’t believe they’re pushing this bullshit.

#Jesus Christ #NPD #NPD vent #NPD problems #actually NPD #narcissist #narcissistic personality disorder #narcissistic abuse #npd positivity #npd information #npd culture is #npd stigma #npd myths #npd feels

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pain-is-my-game · 4 months

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Sometimes I sit and think about how nobody will ever show me affection in the same way I show it to others and I wonder why I'm even going out of my way to do this all in the first place.

#why don't you compliment me excessively like i do for you #im always there for you #why isn't anyone there for me #why do i have to be like this #i will never care if you reblog #questioning npd #questioning bpd #npd feels #npd safe #bpd feels #bpd safe #npd #thoughts to throw into the void

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dokuzu · 10 months

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if ppl w cluster b personality disorders are so scary, then stop making fun of us

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maybe-an-aspd-angel · 1 year

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It’s like, if you know I’m crazy, why fuck with me?

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narc-angel-thoughts · 14 hours

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On an NPD high, might fuck around and make out with my reflection.

#actually npd #actuallynpd #actually aspd #actuallyaspd #npd mood #npd feels #npd thoughts #npd safe #npd positivity #aspd mood #aspd feels #aspd thoughts #aspd safe #aspd positivity #narcangel's immorality

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unlovablecreatureofsin · 1 year

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why do I annoy everyone I talk to…

#mentally ill #mental illness #negativity #cluster b #personality disorder #bpd vent #bpd #actually hpd #hpd #hpd tag #npd mood #npd #npd feels #narcissism #narcisstic personality disorder

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malicious-vampire · 5 months

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What do you mean you're supposed to rest when your body hurts? I just charge myself with aspirin and power through the day like a mario kart star boost until I collapse

#npd feels #cluster b #actually npd #szpd #aspd

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clusterblood · 5 months

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some of my favorite starboard qoutes from my favourite cluster b server