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#maybe i am overreacting and i think they have a right to shit on me

crabussy · 2 years

Text

yoooo guess who lost a close friend because I asked her not to make fun of my autistic brothers special interests behind his back and she instantly accused me of gaslighting (then accused me of blowing up at her when I calmly stated that made me upset and I wouldn’t gaslight because that would make me a bad person and a shitty friend) and said that I was “clearly angry at (her) and thinks (she’s) a terrible person” even though I!! explicitly stated!! multiple times!!!!! that I wasn’t angry with her and just wanted to discuss this so that she knows my boundaries and so that we’re on the same page!!! because she’s a good friend who I value dearly and I want her to understand how this made me feel so that we can move forward!!!!!!!!! ok!!

#vent tw #jeez I have 500 followers on here and THIS is what I use my platform for??#sorry guys (‘: /g #you can block the tag robin shut up challenge if you’d rather not see this kind of thing!!!#Im sorry for vaguing about this person- she’s really important to me and I’m really upset about this and don’t know what to do #eugh. I ended the discussion (argument?? she called it an argument but it just felt like a conversation to me so i’m not sure??)#by overapologising and saying I probably was just worked up over nothing and i’m #sorry about everything #ahhh fuck what if she thinks I’m guilt tripping fuck shit!!!! did I just fuck this up more!!!?? fuck fuck fugk #this is why i’m terrified of friendships. it’s so scary bringing up things that make me uncomfortable #because this happens #and I lose friends who I love #gonna delete this immediately probably haha #I feel like such a dick for talking about this. maybe I am overreacting #yeah I’m gonna delete this #ok to interact btw #if you have advice or just want to tell me if I’m the shitty friend here #genuinely asking- send me an anonymous ask telling me I’m the shitty friend if you think I am /g #I just want to make things right

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ashwhowrites · 1 year

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hi shawty bae. may i request a little something where reader was in a horrible, abusive relationship before dating eddie. edward doesn’t know this and one day he reaches up to cup her cheek and be all cute but then she flinches and he’s all like wtf is she scared of me or something?? maybe some miscommunication and fighting. but then in the end he finds out and is groveling and shit. (i’m so sorry if this is too detailed omg 😭😭). i am a bit of a whore for angst to fluff fics. thank you! ps. i love your writing so much 🫶 you’re my primary angst to fluff provider fr.

Definitely. Hopefully this is what you were looking for

Thank you sm!

⚠️ talks of abuse

Eddie Munson had a temper, that was always easy to see. But he'd never harm a fly. Just small outbursts of words.

Y/N was a little nervous when she first began dating Eddie. His temper scared her just a little bit. She got out of an abusive relationship over a year ago and moved as far away from that asshole as she could.

She spent months running and somehow ran right into Eddie's arms. He caught her easily and their relationship began. He doesn't know about her past and she didn't want him to know. She didn't want his pity. She just wanted to be loved without him being cautious around her.

They sat on his couch, watching a movie as they shared popcorn. Hands bump into each other and laugh every time.

Her eyes were locked on the movie but his eyes were locked on her. Moving the bowl out of her lap, grabbing her hips and bringing her on his lap.

"what are you doing?" She giggled

He smiled softly, moving his hand fast to cup her cheek

She flinched instantly and backed her body away

Eddie watched with confused eyes as she crawled off his lap in seconds, hurling herself in the corner of the couch

"what was that?" Eddie questioned, looking over at her

"nothing. Sorry!" She squeaked. Shaking her head at herself. He wasn't going to do anything to her. He was just going to touch her cheek. Why did she have to overreact like that?

"nothing? I went to touch you and you flew across the fucking room" he scoffed.

He had a feeling he knew what it was about. He's known as the town freak, temper tantrums, and trailer trash. Everyone knew his dad was in jail for landing his hands on Eddie's mom. Did she believe he was like that?

"it's just...it's nothing. Look it's fine" she said weakly, moving herself back on his lap

He pushed her off, standing up. Ears hot as his temper rose.

"it's not fine. You agree with them don't you?" He snapped, staring down at her with a heated glare

"what? No Eddie look it's just..."

"JUST WHAT? I'M TRAILER TRASH?"

She flinched as he screamed

"what! No that's not what I was going to say!" She argued

"it's what you are thinking. You are just like the rest of the assholes in school. Think you are so much better than me"

"Eddie if I thought I was better than you why would I date you? I don't care if you live in a trailer" she scoffed.

"then why are you scared for me to touch you? You've done it before. You never let me get close to you or touch you. You think I'm like my dad or something? Don't want to be touched by a freak like me?"

"absolutely not! Eddie just stop and listen to me"

"no just forget it. I don't need this" he scoffed, slamming his bedroom door and locking it behind him

She wasn't sure what she should do. Eddie has been avoiding her for days. She felt horrible. She didn't mean for him to think she thought so low of him. She was trying to get used to being touched in a gentle way.

Every time she tried to walk up to him he'd roll his eyes and walk away.

Were they broken up?

"why are you avoiding your girlfriend?" Steve asked, his hands tapping on the counter as Eddie sat next to him

"she's not my girlfriend anymore" Eddie snapped. Throwing a ball in the air, catching it repeatedly

"what why?" Steve didn't expect that. Those two were smitten with each other.

"she thinks I'm a freak, trailer trash. Doesn't want to be touched by a loser like me whose dad beat women" Eddie said harshly. Squeezing the ball in his hands

"hold on, she said that?" Steve was shocked. That didn't sound like her at all. Steve knew her for years. He remembered when she moved to New York, when she came running back home because her ex abused her.

"well no, but she didn't need to. I'm not fucking stupid. She flinches whenever I touch her. Refused to even be close to me. I was stupid and thought she was different "

"Eddie shit man. You got it all wrong" Steve sighed, rubbing his hands over his face

"do I?" Eddie laughed with no humour

"look I shouldn't be the one telling you this, but she was in an abusive relationship before she came back here. She's still learning to allow herself to be touched. She flinches with everyone. She's learning Eddie" Steve broke down to him gently

Eddie felt every part of anger leave him. Replaced with sadness, guilt and regret

"she what?' he choked out. Already feeling his throat close up

"give her time to talk to you. Stop avoiding her Munson"

Eddie felt like an asshole. He felt horrible, absolutely horrible. He lost his temper on his girlfriend, didn't let her explain herself and shut her out.

The flowers in his hands were getting crushed by how harsh he was holding them

Knocking on her door softly

He felt his eyes get wet when she opened the door. Looking at her beautiful and soft face. How could anyone ever lay a hand on her?

"oh Eddie? Come on in" she said quietly, opening the door

"these are for you" Eddie said quietly, handing her the flowers

"um why? Aren't you...like mad at me?" She squeaked out. Nervously chewing on her lip as she grabbed the flowers

"no. I never should have gotten mad in the first place. I didn't let you explain. And I think I should" Eddie didn't want her to know that he knew. Let her tell him on her own time

"I'm sorry" she choked out. Tears in her eyes, "I didn't want you to think I thought of you that way. I never thought of you like that"

Eddie choked back his own tears. Watching as she cried, hands clenching the flowers.

"you have no reason to be sorry. You did nothing wrong" Eddie reassured her. Feeling more like a dick that she felt like it was her fault

"can I....can I just hug you?" He asked, puppy eyes looking at her softly

She took a deep breath and a small nod. Eddie slowly walked towards her, he wrapped his arms around her. Feeling her body go stiff but allowing her time to accept it.

She slowly wrapped her arms around him. Nuzzling her face in his neck

"that's good" he said softly, holding her close. Heart warming as she melted into him

"I'm not good at being touched. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings" she whispered in his neck. He could feel her tears running down her cheeks.

"shh. I hurt my own feelings by making shit up. Want to talk about it?" He asked, pulling away and looking down at her

She set down the flowers walking over to her couch. Eddie followed silently behind her. Sitting close but not touching her

"before I came back here, I lived in New York. I fell in love with a boy. He was sweet and amazing. He made me feel things I didn't know existed. Then I found him cheating on me" Eddie's stomach dropped as she cried harder. How could anyone cheat on her?

"so I confronted him. And he...he hit me. He apologized for it so we moved on from it. But then he kept cheating, and the hitting became a daily occurrence. I was scared to leave. I was scared to move a muscle. But I finally made it out. And I met you. And those feelings I had for him in the beginning were coming back, but for you. I never once believed and I still don't believe you'd ever hurt me. But my body sometimes acts on its own"

Eddie listened closely, nodding along as his heart broke more and more.

He reached out his hand, softly grabbing hers. She flinched but he didn't care. Holding her hand tightly as she allowed herself to get used to it.

"look at that. You did it" he praised, kissing her hand softly. Proud of her for not pulling away

"I'm sorry for being an idiot. I'm sorry for everything. I should have given you time and been more understanding. I would love to still be together but I completely understand if you want to break up"

She shook her head instantly, "no. I want to be with you" she said desperately. Moving her hands to touch his face softly

"we'll go slow. We'll work on this together. Just me and you" he said, moving in closer

She smiled, locking their lips together as they shared a small but tender kiss

"thank you" he whispered, kissing her cheek as he held her hand closer to his body.

Both came from pasts they wanted to erase

But a future they couldn't wait to create

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming

@eddiemunsonsbitch69

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson request #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson angst x reader #eddie munson fluff x reader #eddie munson fluff

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 4 months

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I liked Kieran, maybe only because he reminded me of myself as a kid. Constantly feeling left out and being both harassed for everything you do do and never being trusted with anything to even proof yourself capable, like the knowledge about the truth about ogerpon. I still am, working on that, but was way more jealous of other people hanging out with my friends simply because I had so precious few. Idk how much it would have fucked with me if my verbally abusive older sister (I do also have one of those) simply decided that one of my friends was now one of hers instead and kicking me out while my friend isn't saying or doing anything to be like "no, actually I want to spend time with [anon] too".

Obviously his obsession with ogerpon and the following Drive to get stronger is pretty hyperbolic but I did also have a bit of that. Just rejecting everything, throwing everything back at everyone since it was, or at least felt, like its always my family and the people around me just throwing shit at me too. Did I overreact a bunch of times? Oh yeah for sure. Teenage tantrums will get ya, but I really did need that. Without it I don't think I would have ever learned to call out my family's abuse and other people treating me poorly. Since as a kid that just radiates low self esteem you seem to get treated like shit from just about everyone.

Anyway all that is to say, throwing around things like "I think this kid would shoot up a school if only he had access to guns" isn't, imho, great. And I don't even really particularly care about your instance rn, like it's a fictional character in a Pokémon game who cares. So sorry for being the one who got my rant lol. It's just something I've been seeing more of lately, people throwing "they'd shoot up a school" not only at fictional characters but actual human beings. Which I think is fucked. Thankfully no one ever said that to me, but I cannot imagine how hurtful that must be, like if we ignore all the other negative effects it has for a second, when your actual school life was hell enough to make you consider ending your own life, like it was for me, to just get thrown another brick at your head that people think you would be monster enough to murder people.

...well there's a lot to unpack here.

So first up, you have my genuine condolences for your extraordinarily shitty school life. You clearly had the very rough end of the stick, and it's clearly still hurting, and that sucks.

However. I am not thrilled that you just trauma dumped in my inbox because you over-projected onto a fictional character, and I'll ask you not to do that again. Particularly when your "rant" is explicitly aimed at trying to make me feel bad for criticising a fictional character that you, once again, have over-projected onto.

Like listen, I too had an extraordinarily shitty school life, and I also had very few friends (and at three separate extended points, a combination of Literally No Friends At All, AND Being Actively Targeted For Bullying; the first time around, the bullying was led by the class teacher, even.) I have very much been there, done that and got an entire t-shirt shop. But I still didn't come away from that feeling that I was entitled to other people liking me or wanting to be friends with me, because no one is obliged to like or be friends with anyone else. I may have occasionally felt jealous, but I didn't throw tantrums and demand perfect loyalty from the few friends I did make, because that would have been abusive as all hell and would have justly made them want nothing to do with me. And, crucially and relevantly to the fictional character in the fictional world that we are discussing, I did not fixate on someone I wanted to be my friend, see that they were afraid of me and wanted to be friends with someone else, and then throw such a tantrum about it that I physically fought that someone else for the 'rights' to that friend regardless of their consent in that matter, apparently with the intention of abducting them if I won. And on losing that fight, I did not storm off and start amassing a collection of stronger and stronger weapons so I could take over my school and prove my dominance over them, emotionally abusing anyone who couldn't keep up with me because of family problems along the way. I presume you did not either!

And if I had, then the trauma and loneliness I received would be irrelevant - actions borne of trauma are still actions, with real world consequences, and you are still responsible for them regardless of how bad you felt.

(I mean, not to put too fine a point on it, but school shooters are people who are also lonely and often bullied. It's very interesting therefore that you dismiss them as "monsters" while demanding that all behaviour from such people up to the shooting be excused. But the issue with such people is the entitlement they feel and the abuse they therefore dish out. Shootings are just the most extreme symptom of that - they're far from the only symptom.)

I cannot stress this enough - you are not the fictional character of Kieran in the game Pokémon Scarlet and Violet. You did not make his choices, or perform his actions (I assume). Criticism of him is not criticism of you. No one is accusing you of being about to shoot up a school. You state that you don't care that he's a fictional character, but I'm afraid you very much should, because that is the crucial difference. I am sorry that you're seeing a lot of people accusing real life people of being school shooters, but that is not what has happened here, is it?

You're welcome to write back. But I'll warn you very clearly - I am absolutely not at home to you trauma dumping further, or trying to make me feel guilty for talking about a fictional character because you have over-projected and therefore are taking it personally. That is a You Problem, and I will block you without reading if you do.

However, I am going to finish by reiterating my very genuine sympathies for your school experience. It truly was an appalling time for me, and it seems like it was for you, too. I hope you can process that trauma now, and find peace.

#asks #yikes

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greazyfloz · 1 year

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Getting into a fight with jack in front of Quinn and Luke and you both go to take some breathers and Quinn and Luke both go up to jack and are like “you’re an idiot” “I hope y/n doesn’t forgive you”

Not Like That

w/ Jack Hughes

Warnings: angst, swearing

Word count: 1.3k

Jack and I along with the rest of his family were at a family get together at his lakehouse. We were sitting with his brothers under a gazebo watching his younger cousins jumping in the pool. They kept climbing out yelling ‘watch this’ gaining our attention before doing a cannonball into the pool. We would clap or cheer when they resurfaced from the water. I cuddle into Jack’s chest and just listen in on the brothers conversation.

As we are sitting there conversing with each other, their cousin comes and sits down on the chair beside Quinn. “Hey buddy, awesome stuff out there” Quinn says, “Thanks Quinn! Wanna come in the pool wif me?”, “Not right now buddy, maybe later”. His little cousin continues the conversation asking us a bunch of questions like young kids do then he looks at me and Jack, “when you guys havin a baby?” he asks Jack. Jack awkwardly laughs and both Quinn and Luke laugh waiting for Jack’s answer, “I don’t know bud”, “Mommy said when people love each other they have babies”, I smile at how cute his cousin is until Jack says “Yeah, we don’t love each other like that buddy”. My face completely drops, Quinn and Luke both stop laughing realizing the sudden change of expression on my face. I took Jack’s arm from around me and escaped from his grasp. Moving over a little bit on the sofa as Jack gives me a dirty look because of my relocation. His cousin stayed and chatted for a bit before leaving to jump back in the pool.

“What’s up with you” Jack turns to me, “nothing” I say quietly. “Why did you move away from me then?”, “We were really close, I didn’t know if we loved each other enough”, “What are you talking about?” Jack says starting to get louder. “Shh. It is really not a big deal” I say trying to be civil. “No, you started this shit”, “Are you serious?” I say. We began to argue a bit about what he said but my tipping point was when he said “Come on Sienna, you are overreacting”, “My name is not Sienna” I say standing up, “I am not Sienn-”, “I know your not, Sienna is a model” Jack says getting defensive. “Fuck. you.” I say before disappearing into the house. Once I reach Jack’s room, I slam the door and lock it behind me before falling on the bed and crying until I fall asleep.

[Jack’s POV]

“You’re an idiot” Quinn says to me as I watch Y/n enter the house. “She is the one that came after me because apparently I said I didn’t love her” I defend myself. “He is like 6 years old, even if he remembers what I said later on it doesn’t mean anything” he continued. “No man, you are an idiot for bringing up Sienna” Luke joins in. “It was an accident, you think I meant to say my ex girlfriends name?” I say. “No, but you definitely meant to tell Y/n that your ex was a model, as if that mattered at the moment” Quinn says. “She’ll be fine” I answer.

Luke suddenly stands “I hope Y/n doesn’t forgive you” he says before walking away. I see my mom come over and I know Quinn is going to tell her what just happened so I leave so I don’t have to hear it. I go in and sit at a barstool in my kitchen since my bedroom is occupied. I sit there scrolling through instagram for a couple minutes until the back door slides open, “Jack.” my mothers voice echos sternly across the kitchen. “I know mom, I messed up. I don’t want to hear it right now”. “Well” she says grabbing a seat beside me, “What are you going to do about it, and I don’t think ‘she’ll be fine’ is the correct answer” she says. Quinn has such a big mouth. I bring my hand up to rub my eyebrow. “I’ll go up in a bit, I’m going to give her a minute”

[Y/N POV]

I wake up to a faint knock on the door, I roll over hugging the pillow hoping they go away. “Y/n, open up please” Jack says. “No, go away” I respond. I hear the doorknob wiggle a bit before the door opens revealing Jack with a screwdriver in hand. “I said go away” I say to him as he enters his room taking a seat on his bed. “And I said open up” Jack replies. “What do you want?” I say, “Come on, Let’s go for a drive.” Jack says looking at me before pleading, “please”. “Fine” I say getting up. I look at myself in the mirror and clean my runny makeup off before following out to the car. I realized the sun had gone down quite a bit ago once I hoped into the Range Rover with the time reading 9:45pm. Jack pulled out of the driveway and reaches over for my hand. I pulled my hand away and faced the window. “Look I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean what I said when I said we didn’t love each other enough to have babies. It came out wrong and I was just frustrated that you didn’t see that I didn’t mean it that way”, I nod at his explanation but don’t say anything. “I meant that we aren’t at that stage yet, I didn’t know how to express that to a kid Y/n. I love you, and I can see myself having a kid with you but not right now. I thought you felt the same.” Jack continued, “I do feel the same about kids. The way you said it hurt me. I felt like I was wasting my time being with you if you didn’t see ourselves having kids in the future.”, “I know babe, and I am sorry” Jack says again pulling onto the highway.

“Where are we going?” I ask, “Into the city, I figured you would be hungry since you missed supper” Jack says, “I’m definitely not hungry after you comment today” I snap back, “Turn around” I snap again. “No, I was just frustrated. You are my girlfriend not her”, “It hurt Jack” I say before tearing up. I bring my sweaters sleeve up to brush the tears away, When Jack pulls the SUV over to the side of the road.

He turns resting his palm on my cheek, “I think you are the most beautiful girl in the world, I don’t care if you a model, or a astronaut, I love you.”, He says as I look into his eye resting my hand on top of his. He leans in kissing my lips, then looks at me again “Can you forgive me?” he says, I smile nodding my head. Jack puts the car back in drive and continues into the city. “Really though it is late so I will just have a snack at the house” I say, “Are you sure?” Jack asks slowing down so he can turn around if he needs to, “Yes, besides I really am not that hungry”. Jack turns around and heads home.

We get back to the house and Jack opens the front door for me. I enter and walk to the kitchen. With Jack following behind me. Ellen is there sipping tea talking to Quinn and Luke who are both leaning on the counter at opposite ends of the kitchen. “How are you feeling hun?” Ellen says as I enter the kitchen giving me a hug, “Better” I say hugging her back. “You forgave hi-” Luke starts until he saw Jack enter behind me. Jack just gave him a look before he looked back at Ellen and I, “Is there any leftovers I can heat up for Y/n?” he asks his mother. “Should be some in the fridge. Jack went to the fridge taking the leftovers out of the fridge and heating it in the microwave before handing it to me. I look down at the huge plate. “Um- you think I can eat all of this myself?”, “You think I ate knowing I hurt my girlfriend, we are sharing” Jack says as we brought the plate to the living room and cuddled while watching movie and eating leftovers.

#jack hughes #jack hughes imagine #hughes brothers #quinn hughes #luke hughes #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine

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sheluvv-gambino · 9 months

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okay before i start i just wanna say how much i love your fics. they got me giggling, twirling my hair, yelling at the characters, all of the above. love you!!!

(my first time typing a request i’m so sorry if it doesn’t make sense 😭🤚🏽) do you think you could do a fic with 1610 Miles and black fem reader who are in a happy/stable relationship, but Gwen tries to break them apart/get miles to hookup with her? then reader finds out and doesnt stand for that shit? like, we beat her ass. i’m tired of seeing so many fics where we just brush it off or yell at Gwen. LIKE, BEAT HER ASS GIRL.

"Oh word!?"

A/N : Yes I added Hobie in just because I absolutely love the man but I didn’t add him as the next romantic partner just because i feel like using hobie as a rebound is so icky.

pairings : Aged up!1610!miles morales x black fem!reader (aged up to 18 because what 15 year old his sleeping with someone under his parents roof.

summary : If it’s okay for Miles to cheat and hurt you then it’s okay for you to proceed with anything you want to do, no matter if a certain blondie with a bad bob gets in the way.

warnings : violence, cheating, weed, gw*n ( Yup she’s a warning in itself especially after the way she did my man dirty.)

There was nothing that Miles could do that would lead you to thinking that he would ever cheat on you until hangouts with Gwen became more frequent.

You’re not a jealous person by any means and you’ve never restricted Miles from having any female friends, you just weren’t built to have a pit of hatred here for another woman that has a friendship with your man.

You would be a hypocrite to not let Miles have any female friends considering how close you and Hobie were. Hobie has never and would never overstep on any boundaries, he respected you and Miles way too much to do that.

But what you were built for was not tolerating when another girl attacks your relationship like a pigeon finally getting access to bread after begging from strangers just to get food.

It wasn’t your fault that Gwen couldn’t find a man nor keep a man.

She took the only genuine friendship she had and used it against Miles just because of how naive he was in that friendship.

Miles had always been sweet to you.He never skipped out on dates and always made you a priority in his life even though he juggled being Spiderman, a son, and your boyfriend.

Miles truly let him be himself when he was around you. He put his full trust into you like you had done with him.

But with Miles being the most perfect boyfriend he thought he could be, he also realised the second he screwed up what he had with you just by entertaining Gwen’s antics which ultimately led to the two of them in bed together heavy breathing.

Of course you realised the second Gwen started acting different with Miles.

You had even talked to Miles about setting boundaries so that she understood her place in Miles life and not to cross a bridge she couldn’t come back from.

“Ion like the way Gwen’s been moving with you lately. It’s like she went from totally platonic to flirting with you with no care in the world.” You said whilst massaging Miles’ scalp as his lay on your chest.

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure I would’ve seen it.” Miles responded.

“That’s because my love, you are not a woman nor do you have the mind of one. You don’t see the way woman move behind closed doors.” You looked down at him lovingly.

“Maybe your just overreacting. I mean Gwen would never do that. Do you not trust me or something?” Miles questioned with pure disbelief in his voice.

“Nah I didn’t say that and you know it. Of course I trust, why else would i be with you. What I am saying is that right now I don’t trust her and her intentions. I’m telling you now if you don’t dead that shit she’s gonna use that as her way into snake this relationship and hurt us.” You told him now sitting up to have direct eye contact.

“Okay I hear you, mi vida.”

He obviously heard you he just clearly didn’t understand you.

You were walking home from Miles’ apartment when you realised that you left your purse that had your keys inside as well. So you decided to just walk back to Miles’ as you knew he wouldn’t have mind.

You were just there thirty minutes ago what could’ve changed in half an hour

Apparently a lot.

Walking back into Miles’ apartment you took your shoes off to respect his parents rules even when they weren’t here.

You knocked on his door before opening it and walked in.

You weren’t ready for what was in front of you.

They obviously didn’t hear you as they kept up the action on his bed.

“Oh word?! That’s what we doing now? You got that bitch in your bed after I told you how i felt about what she was doing. How incompetent do you have to be to loose a three year relationship over a girl that clearly doesn’t even respect you or me!” You said calmly, you weren’t going to let them know the bubbling tension you felt in your heart in that moment.

They quickly gathered themselves and Miles pulled himself from Gwen and made his way over to you.

Before he could even stutter a half assed apology you launched over to Gwen who was putting her pants back on and dragged her by her brittle hair down to the floor.

You couldn’t even hear what Miles was trying to say, you pounded Gwen’s head in numerous times .

Although she was stronger than you due to her spider powers she clearly had never been a fight without her suit before.

She on the ground trying to cover her head looking like a cockroach that had just been found.

She was bleeding from so many holes that you had given her.

You pulled her up just to slam how by the ridges of Miles’ bed to make her back hurt.

All whilst this was happening Miles was just standing in the corner having no idea what to do.

Sure he had just had sex with Gwen but that didn’t mean she didn’t deserve that ass beating since she was the one to initiate her and Miles’s interaction after you had left.

Finally you had come back to your senses and let go of Gwen.

You booted her with your foot just to be sure you left Miles to deal with a bleeding mess.

“That’s the bitch you put over me, just remember that. We’re done you dumbass nigga!” You looked a Miles as you dusted of your hands and darter out the Morales residence. Even though Jeff loved you like his own he was still a police officer and you had just broken up with his son so the odds weren’t particularly in your favour since you had just beat up Gwen in his home.

As you walked back to your house from Miles’ for the last time you decided to text Hobie.

——————

“I am so bloody glad I popped over to your dimension.” Hobie laughed as he took in another drag of the joint the two you had lit up.

“Ha ha Hobie, yes me getting cheated on is very funny.” You glared at him and snatching the joint back into your hands.

“Nah I’m sorry lov’ i just weren’t expecting that is all, as cheesy as it sounds I’ll always be ‘ere for ya.” He said genuinely, slugging his arm around your shoulder to pull you in closer.

“Yeah, thanks Mr Hobart Brown!” You giggled, the weed finally hitting you.

“Oi!”

#across the spiderverse #spiderverse #miles morales 1610 #1610 miles x reader #earth 1610 miles morales x reader #earth 1610 miles fluff #spiderman 1610 #1610 miles morales x black!reader #1610 miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles 1610 #hobie brown #spider gwen #hobie x reader #hobie brown x reader #1610 miles morales x reader angst

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projectbluearcadia · 2 months

Text

I Am and Always Will Be

(Coping) Lucifer x GN!MC

[ Story Premise - Lucifer gets upset because you don't value yourself. ]

TW: SELF-HARM, SUICIDAL IDEATION

Note: The reason I have not marked this as mature is because everyone, including those who are underage, should know that they should seek help. If tumblr decides to give me a slap on the wrist for this, then so be it.

Wordcount: 1652

You don’t really remember how it first started.

A heartbreaking comment from a cherished friend, and suddenly you’re in the nearest bathroom with your hands on the sink. You look at yourself in the mirror, and all you can think is that there is something less than human staring back at you. Something cruel and hideous and malformed. You hate it. You hate it. You hate it so much that it makes your skin crawl. It makes your eyes water and your teeth clench.

You can’t escape it. You can’t run away. You can’t even scream, because what would be the point? You’d only attract attention to yourself in the most awkward place possible, where at least one person was trying to take a shit in peace. You can’t stand yourself. My personality is the problem. Every single time I try to make things work, it just turns to nothing. I overreact, and then it all falls apart. I’m so sick of myself.

You’re sick of it.

And that’s when you finally turn to it. To the only thing that stopped you from feeling like this, even temporarily. A blade, one that had broken free of your cheap shaving razor after you threw it one too many times. I want to see this horrid blood spill. I want it. I need it.

You drew a thin line. A thicker line. A deep line.

Your skin, already scarred in some places, was quickly smearing with blood. Drenched. The toilet flushes, and in hindsight, you vaguely realize that doing this in a public bathroom was a dreadful idea, and you leave, adrenaline pounding through your veins—

No one can know. No one should know. I don’t want them to know.

—Despite the fact that your blood is leaving a trail behind you, leaving you weaker and weaker with every step. It’s practically gushing from your wounds, and you start to sniffle. It doesn’t really hurt; no, the rush is still too strong. But for some reason, you can’t stop yourself from crying.

“Hey, someone spilled their Koolaid Ja… Holy SHIT!?” the person, likely from the bathroom screamed, and they fumbled at their phone as you ran further, further, further. “Why are you running away?! You’re bleeding!” Maybe I want to be bleeding, you have the time to think before a sudden bout of dizziness floods your brain. You collapse. You fall.

And fall.

<><><>

Surprisingly, you wake up. Funny; you wished you didn’t. Was this it? Was this your first (or was it second?) commitment to the hospital?

“Lucifer, they’re awake,” came a soft man’s voice, and no sooner had it come than was a man by your side. One with jet-black hair and tragically garnet eyes.

“MC,” he whispers, his hand caressing your cheek with shuddering fingers, and you find yourself realizing that was a dream. Or, rather, the reliving of how you came to live in the Devildom. You’ve been living here for months now, with Lucifer and his brothers in the House of Lamentation. You’ve been… enjoying living here. How could I wish that I wasn’t alive here?

“We took away their dagger,” Barbatos said gently as Lucifer shook, holding onto you. “They are okay.”

“MC, why did you do something like that?” Lucifer whispered, leaning his head into the pillow, right next to your head. His voice agonizingly shuddering, and your body wracks itself with guilt. “MC, MC, MC…” I should have finished the job so he wouldn’t have to feel like this.

“...I thought I hurt you,” you mumble. You expect him to yell, but the voice that comes from his mouth is soft and excruciatingly slow as he struggles not to sob.

“And you thought this would hurt me less?”

“Over time… yeah.”

“MC…” he whispers, and he sharply sniffles. It hurts to hear—the avatar of pride, breaking down and starting to cry because of you. Because of what you did. I should have eaten the rat poison. “How could you think that leaving a hole in my heart would hurt me less over time? What have I done to make you think that you’re not important to me? I haven’t been able to think for the past three days.”

“...I’m sorry.” You look away from his shoulder, shortly finding that Barbatos has quietly left so that you’re permitted privacy. “I just… I don’t know…” Your eyes prickle. “I-I just… I hate myself so much for what I put you through, and I… I can’t take it anymore.”

“And you think the best way to put me out of my misery is to rip out half my soul?” Lucifer gasps, and his tears hit your cheek as he finally brings his face up from the pillow to look at you. To show you the tears streaking down his pale, beautiful face. “Why didn’t you tell me anything? I already knew that you hurt yourself in the past, so why did you have to do it again, after all this time? What did I do to make you feel like that?”

“It’s not you…”

“It must be!” Lucifer retorts hoarsely, his hot tears splashing your forehead. “You’re supposed to be my partner, and I’m supposed to protect you! I couldn’t do that, so tell me why you couldn’t trust me! Please!”

“I…” Your voice is breaking up. From one hellish scene to another, you’re not sure how much your heart can take. “I’m sorry. I-I thought… I thought…you would hate me.” The mere thought sends your lacrimal glands into a frenzy as you realize he might hate you now. “I-I couldn’t bear to… lose someone else… so I…”

“Shhhh,” Lucifer hushes with anxious shudders, and he hugs you so tightly you wonder if he might be trying to break your ribcage. You can feel his ragged breathing, his racing pulse. You almost break into an incomprehensible mess right then and there, unable to speak a single word. “I love you. I love you. I love you,” he murmurs, rocking you with him as you sniffle and try your damndest to get ahold of yourself. “I will always love you.”

“What if I kill one of your brothers?”

“You would never do that,” Lucifer murmurs, trying his hardest not to let his voice tremble.

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do. I know you, MC.”

“No, you don’t. There are parts of me you’ll never know. There are parts of me you shouldn’t know.”

“I want to know.”

You shake your head.

“You can’t just keep hiding everything. I hate it when you do. Don’t you think I’m strong enough of a person to talk to you when you want to kill yourself?”

“You don’t know what it’s like,” you whisper.

“That’s irrelevant,” he says, recovering some of his usual sternness as he sniffles. “I don’t need to know how exactly it feels. I just need to know that you’re in pain. I just need to know if there’s anything I can do, anything I can’t do. Please, MC, I can’t just watch. That’s the only thing I’m not strong enough to do. Just indulge my selfishness and just… just lean on me. I don’t care if I have to take the entire burden myself.”

“You’re already carrying too much…”

“Me?!” Lucifer growled as he pulled away from you. “I’m not the one in agony! It’s true that I’m stressed, and I usually have a lot on my plate. But it stresses me infinitely more that my own lover won’t tell me about their problems! How hard do I have to drill it into your head that you come first?!”

“...sorry.”

Lucifer sighs deeply and heavily before he leans his head against yours, his fingers nestling into your hair, massaging your scalp.

“Please… don’t ever do that again,” he murmurs. “If you’re scared of losing me, then don’t eliminate any possibility of ever seeing me again. I don’t know where you’ll go when you die, but it won’t be here.”

“I get it, and I’m sorry,” you mumble.

“Do you get it?”

“I get that you’re mad at me…”

“Did you listen to a damn word I said?!” Lucifer snaps, his voice breaking again, and you flinch in his arms before he squeezes you again. “I’m not angry with you. I’m upset and scared. Do you have any idea what it feels like to not be able to protect someone that matters to you? That the person you love doesn’t even think they’re worth protecting? That I can’t help you through the monstrosities that plague your mind?

You can’t find it in yourself to answer. It’s painful to try.

“I’m begging you, MC…promise me. Promise me you’ll help me help you. I could live knowing that you are happy even if it’s in the human world. All I want is for you to live a full, happy life. I know you, and I know that you deserve that.”

“Do I? I’ve done so many things…”

“I let my own sister die,” Lucifer replies somberly. “I brought Satan into the world, confused and angry. I didn’t know that the only reason Asmo thought I kept him around was because of his beauty. I let Levi feel inferior. I locked away Belphie when we could have just talked… there are so many things I’ve done wrong, before and after falling from Heaven, and I hated myself for it. But I was the only one who kept hating myself after Belphie forgave me, after Satan accepted me. Anger is brief, MC. I, and everyone else, care about you so much more than all of the bad things that might make up your mistakes in life. I am, and always will, feel that way. I am, and always will, be there for you. Even on the occasions where I am not physically there, I am still there for you.”

“Always?”

“Always. So promise me… okay?”

From the author: As fans of my work may have guessed, I have been on both sides of this conversation many times. Talking about it was the best thing I, and people I knew, ever did. And, believe it or not, Lucifer has genuinely comforted me in both scenarios. I hope to have imparted some of that onto the audience regardless of whether or not they are struggling with depression, self-harm, or suicidal urges. The storm may rage, but I believe that we can be stronger than it if we stop trying to weather it alone. Thank you for reading my two cents, and I hope that both I and you can spread life and love rather than hatred and death.

Obligatory Suicide Hotline Information

(Seriously, PLEASE CALL THESE IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING)

U.S. 988

Canada 833-456-4566

Australia 13114

U.K. 0800-689-5652

For other countries and counseling services that may be available in your country -> OpenCounseling

#obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer x mc #please talk to people who care #obey me shall we date #fanfiction #obey me!#lucifer x mc #lucifer simp #comfort #reassurance #obey me angst #suicide #self care #lucifer x gn!mc #recovery #self acceptance #healing journey #coping #self compassion

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wannaseewhatshangin · 8 months

Note

hi, honeybee! i love your writing, i literally just spent almost an hour reading your stuff! 🩷🥺

i was wondering if i could request dallas with a reader who had been in an abusive reIationship before getting with him, and she hid it from him until one day she flinches during an argument and dal is like ???? and she opens up about it and it's all fluffy and cute and he's fuIIy prepared to go beat up her ex for hurting her?

Awh.. I LOVE THE NICKNAME YOU GAVE MEE! SO CUTE! You are now one of my faves! AND I LOVE IT! Reach out anytime!

°.✩┈┈∘*┈˃̶୨୧˂̶┈*∘┈┈✩.°°.✩┈┈∘*┈˃̶୨୧˂̶┈*∘┈┈✩.°

Pairing: Dallas Winston x Fem! Reader

Summary: The readers secret finally comes out during an argument.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, cursing, Dallas being too cute, Smoking, mentions of beer.

❝ When I arrive at my destination. I am going to kill Bill.❞

°.✩┈┈∘*┈˃̶୨୧˂̶┈*∘┈┈✩.°°.✩┈┈∘*┈˃̶୨୧˂̶┈*∘┈┈✩.°

It was a deep secret you didn't want to come out.

You wanted Dallas to think that he had a perfect girlfriend and you wanted to keep the sad stuff to yourself.

But secrets don't always hide themselves. They always come up to the surface. Whether they are meant to or not.

"Y/N..Why can't you just do it next week?"

Your performance was tomorrow night, you practiced all week and you wanted Dallas to watch.

"Because it would be too late to do it next week."

You spoke quietly and thought about if your relationships would be like the last.. He never wanted to watch your performances. He watched a few but he just shrugged them off like they were nothing.

He didn't understand the tears and frustration you put out just to make it the best for him to watch.

"Well I'm busy tomorrow night. Maybe I'll think about it." He said, taking a puff from his cigarette as he looked at the TV.

He always said that.

"Dallas!" You said, turning off the TV, standing in front of it.

"Hey, what the hell!" He said, sitting up, standing from his seat, walking to the TV.

"I'm sorry. But you don't understand what I go through just for you to push it away! I worked really hard this time, just for you. And you won't even think twice about it."

"I said I'll think about it!" He yelled, throwing his hand in the air.

You winced and shut your eyes tightly. You moved back harshly, making you bump into a table, knocking over your beer glass. You put one hand in front of your face, the other holding onto the edge of the table to keep your figure standing.

Dallas slowly brought his hand down.

"What'd you do that for, huh?" He spoke quietly. He already knew why. He just didn't wanna believe it.

No. He refused to believe it. That someone had hurt his beautiful doll.

"N-nothing. Just tripped." You got stood up straight and walked into your kitchen.

He followed you, right behind you.

"You think I believe that shit? Hell no! You're gonna tell me why the hell you acted like that." He said, and even though his voice was harsh, he grabbed your wrist gently.

"I'm serious, Dally. I tripped over my own feet. You don't even have to go to the performance, Dal. I wont go either." You said, hiding the fact that you were crying.

"Doll, I can't help you if you don't help me. Tell me. I'll go to every performance you have. I just want you to tell me who hurt you." You had him at your mercy. You could tell that he would do anything for you to tell him.

"My ex, (Random punk ass name), was abusive. Just a past relationship that didn't end well. Just old habits. I'm sorry."

He wrapped you in a hug. You could tell he was angry but he never took it out on you.

"No. Don't ever be sorry. I would never put my hands on you. You know that, doll." He kissed your cheek, his eyes tearing up at the thought of someone taking you for granted.

You wrapped your arms around him, your head in the crook of his neck.

The two of you stood in your kitchen like that for a while until you let go.

When you let go, he felt scared that he was gonna lose you.

You realized that you overreacted over the whole performance thing. You didn't even like (flutes, violin, piano, etc.)

"Dally, I'll tell you what. You don't have to go to the performance. I overreacted. I don't even like doing it. We can go out for ice cream tomorrow night, or maybe cause some trouble around town, hm?"

Dallas shook his head, smirking slightly.

"Or we can just stay here together, Watch a movie, and eat some snacks." Truthfully, Dallas just didn't wanna let you go.

You nodded.

But Dallas knew that when he got the chance, he was gonna find the guy that did this to you. And he was gonna kill him.

#dallas winston x reader #dallas winston headcanons #x fem reader #x female reader #x fem!reader #fem reader

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tangledinink · 1 year

Text

raph fans come get y'all juice. chapter four of i'm sorry, teenage mutant what now? is up! read it on ao3 or below the cut!

[ prev ]

Okay, fine, he’d admit it. Dad was acting weird.

Like, weird weird, not regular weird. Their dad had always been weird, which Leo had always chalked up to 1.) him being their dad 2.) him spending time in Hollywood. But this? This was off, even for him.

Last night, he spaced out in the middle of one of Mikey’s stories, and Leo still wasn’t sure if he had literally fallen asleep with his eyes open or if he had just accidentally astral projected to the Twilight Zone or something. Of course, they had all then proceeded to say the most absolutely asinine, insane shit that they could think of in an attempt to goad a reaction until Mikey finally managed to snap him out of it by throwing some lentils at him. The day before that, he caught him rifling through that old shelf of weird knick-knacks that none of them were allowed to touch, muttering to himself the entire time like some crazy supervillain. Like, dude, had some ancient ninja ghost replaced their daddy, or what? ‘Cause this was getting freaky. He had kind of just thought Donnie was overreacting, but maybe he was onto something…

He hated it when Donnie was right. It happened annoyingly often and he could never admit it, lest he risk his twin’s ego becoming even larger. There’s only room for one egomaniac in this family.

“Think we can corner Dad on the train ride home and find out what’s happening? That way he won’t be able to run.” He said, casually, inviting himself into his twin brother’s room and tossing himself down on their bed.

Donnie pulled his eyes away from whatever robotics project he was currently tinkering with in order to glare at his brother, spinning around in his desk chair.

“Groan. Do we have to? That sounds unpleasant at best.”

“Hey, you started this in the first place. And you agreed to the plan,” he countered, pointing accusingly at the other. “You don’t get to back out now.”

“I’m not saying that I’m not worried, or that I don’t think someone should talk with him. I’m just saying that I don’t want to do it.” Donnie defended.

“Bummer. You’re participating.” Leo deadpanned. “Between you, me, and Raph, we might have half a chance. And if not… Well. We’ve got the big guns waiting at home.”

Donnie shuddered a bit. The Doctor.

“I don’t know. Based on historical data, there’s about a 76.4% chance that Dad will attempt to bodily throw himself out the window of a moving train if we try to talk to him about his feelings.”

“Do you think we can find a train car without windows?”

“I’ll do some research. I’m sure there are specs available online...” Donnie sighed, turning back around to face his desk and pulling out his phone.

Leo hummed softly, knowing that Donnie would, in fact, actually do that, whether or not it was realistic.

“I’m serious, Donnie. We actually have to talk to him.”

“I mean, yeah, sure. I am too. But what the hell are we gonna say?”

“Ugh. I don’t know! You’re the one with a therapist! And you’ve been seeing her for how long now? Shouldn’t you know how to do all the talky-feely shit by now?”

“I’m autistic.”

“So?”

“You should get a therapist.”

“Off-topic,” Leo muttered, rolling his eyes. “This is, like, weirder than he usually is. Like… Something is for real wrong. It’s kind of spooky.”

“It’s Mikey.”

Leo scoffed. “It’s not Mikey.”

“Yeah, it is. He started being weird right after Mikey lit himself on fire.”

“Mikey didn’t light himself on fire, Dee.”

“Well, he clearly did something . And Dad keeps looking at him like he thinks he’s gonna combust at any moment. There’s a very clear pattern of behavior, Leo.” He insisted. “Also, you don’t know what the hell Mikey did, either, because we both know he wasn’t just playing with matches in his room.”

“He might have been.” Leo huffed. “That kid is way more fucked up than we give him credit for. Remember in the fourth grade when someone destroyed his science fair project?”

Donnie shivered. “You don’t just forget something like that, Leo.”

“Exactly! Playing with lighters is totally within the realm of possibility.”

“There’s a difference between enacting violent but justified revenge and doing simply dangerous stuff just for the fun of it.” Donnie countered, glancing up at the other through half-lidded eyes. “Plus, he’s used to all of us doing dangerous stuff for the fun of it! Dad wouldn’t react this way if he was just worried Mikey was gonna hurt himself. He deals with worrying Mikey is gonna hurt himself all the time. Nor would he let Mikey get away with this with nary a punishment if that were truly the case. In the very least, Dad doesn’t think the event was the result of Mikey just ‘playing with lighters.’”

“Oh, so what? It’s magic? His notebook magically caught on fire?” Leo challenged dryly, giving his twin an unimpressed look.

“Of course not. I’m a man of science.” Donnie scoffed. “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation, but, admittedly, I haven’t been able to intuit exactly what the cause was just yet. My investigation is still ongoing.” He sighed. “... But maybe Dad thinks it was?”

Leo paused for a moment, rolling the thought around in his head, frowning a bit.

“You think Dad thinks Mikey magically caught his notebook on fire?” He questioned, raising one brow in doubt.

“It’s possible,” Donnie said, shrugging. “We know that he’s superstitious.”

Leo hummed softly, his hand automatically moving to spin the small silver bracelet on his wrist, running his fingertips across the smooth edges of the blue crystal in its center. One in a set of five. He supposed that that was technically true… ‘Superstitious’ wasn’t really the first word that would come to mind if he was trying to describe his father. It wouldn’t even be in the top ten. But slapping actual good-luck charms onto each of his children did kind of automatically sort him into that category, didn’t it?

He knew his dad had a small altar in his room, and they would occasionally celebrate, or at least acknowledge, Japanese holidays that he had grown up with. But they didn’t have any other charms or amulets in their home, at least not that Leo knew of, just old knick-knacks and trinkets that lived on shelves or in closets. They had never gone to a shrine or temple or church or anything of the like in their lives, and he had never heard his Dad pray before. But the bracelets? He had always been really invested in that. Leo literally couldn’t remember a time when they hadn’t all worn them. He had told them since they were small that they ‘kept them safe ,’ and it had been a hard rule their entire lives that they weren’t to be removed.

It was the kind of thing that Leo was pretty sure people would think was weird if he brought it up-- so he usually didn’t. He used to think it was weird, too, honestly, and kind of dumb. I mean, they were just bracelets, right? So what did it matter? But he remembered the one time he had tried to take it off when he was around seven. Even now it was absolutely vivid in his brain every time he thought about it.

He hadn’t been trying to rebel or make trouble or anything, he had just been bored. He forgot exactly where they were, but they were waiting in line for something at some building with lots of desks and people milling about, discussing boring things. And there wasn’t anything to do! He had exhausted all viable options for entertaining himself: Annoying his father. Annoying his brother. Annoying his other brother. Annoying his other other brother. So he had basically run out of ideas.

He hadn’t even taken the bracelet off. I mean, not all the way. He was just messing with it, kind of yanking it up and down his wrist, and seeing if he could wiggle it up his hand over his knuckles--

But god, he remembers the way his father’s voice sounded when he caught him, biting out his name like it was painful. He remembers the look on his face, and even now it makes him feel small.

Not because his dad was angry. But because he was scared.

He had never seen his dad look that way before in his entire life. Like he was about to watch the entire world crumble down around him.

It was scary. His dad was scared, so he got scared, too. He shivers a little bit at the memory, his frown deepening. They had left shortly after, and Dad had assured him at least twenty times that he wasn’t mad, and he was sorry for scaring him, and it was okay, but that he couldn’t take the bracelet off. It was important.

Leo and his brothers had kind of decided after that that it probably was important and that they really shouldn’t take them off. Leo wasn’t entirely sure if he completely believed now that they actually ‘kept them safe’ or whatever, but he had certainly believed it then. And besides that, clearly, their father believed it, and that alone was enough for him. It was too small to really get off now, anyway. They had grown enough that Leo doubted he could wriggle his way out of it even if he wanted to. It was a small miracle that Raph hadn’t busted his with how damn beefy he had grown, but hey, he wasn’t gonna look a gift horse in the mouth or anything.

“Okay. Fine.” Leo conceded. “So, Dad thinks Mikey has magic hands, or whatever. What do we do about it?”

---

The train ride over to the swim meet was relatively calm, filled with idle chatter and conversation. Leo, Donnie, and Raph had met their Dad at the station after school, and they spent the trip discussing the new leaf Donnie's Monstera was growing, the most recent viral street magic video Leo had seen, and the latest funny thing Raph's swim kids had done. Raph attempted, unsuccessfully, to prod their Dad into sharing as well, but the most he got was information about the latest reality show episode he had watched. Their Dad wasn't always the biggest sharer, but usually, they could at least get him to discuss the state of his Dojos, any new acting prospects, or celebrity gossip. He loved celebrity gossip! But not today-- the conversation stayed squarely focused on his three sons.

Still, it had been pleasant, even with the slight stirring of anxiety in Raph's stomach. They were all busy more often than they weren't, so it was always nice to get to spend any amount of time together. Their pops didn't always attend all their various sporting events, recitals, or other competitions-- it just wasn't realistic. There was only one of him, after all. But they were getting towards the end of the season at this point, which meant that all the 'important' events were beginning to crop up on their calendars. Their Dad hated to miss those-- even if they did go pretty much every year. He always said he wanted to ‘brag about how talented his children were.’

The sports center was just a short walk from the train station, and Raph glanced down at their father as they made their way into the bustling lobby. "You know where you're goin', pops?"

"Yes, yes, of course. I could give tours of this place." His father joked, his frame shaking with his laughter. "You boys know how to find me if you need me. Now, go and have fun. And also, kick some butt!" He encouraged with a toothy grin.

"You got it, pops!" Raph assured, smiling wide in response, herding his two younger brothers off to the locker room. Usually, they'd come here with the rest of their team. Rather than traveling with their Dad, they'd travel with the other kids and their coach. But this was the city-wide meet. Qualifiers only-- which thinned out the crowd. Raph knew there were other competitors from the Mad Dogs Swim Team around here somewhere, but until they could hunt them down, it was just the three of them. Luckily, this was far from their first rodeo.

"Dibs on Candy Locker!" Leo yelled.

"Leo, no one else wants Candy Locker," Donnie said.

"Do not touch the Candy Locker!" Raph shouted.

They did this every year.

The infamous Candy Locker.

Raph, Leo, and Donnie had been competing in swim since they were eight and seven, respectively. And every year since then, all three of them had qualified for city-wide. And every year, city-wide was held at the Aquatics Pavilion at the Ithaca College campus. And every year that they came here, since they discovered it their very first time, the Candy Locker remained.

It was basically a historical landmark at this point, and Raph was continuously baffled that it still persevered. There were rows and rows of shiny slate gray lockers in the changing rooms, free for whatever visiting athlete to use while they competed, just big enough that you could fit a swim bag in there if you really put some muscle into it, all labeled and neat. Typically, you would open a locker without a padlock, and there would be one of two things there. One: someone else's clothes and bag. Someone already took this locker, but is playing it fast and loose and trusts no one will steal their shit. That's cool. Stealing ain't the Mad Dog way. Two: An empty locker. Sweet, free locker. You can shove your shit in there. But at the Aquatics Pavilion, there was also a third option.

That option was a faded yellow pillowcase filled to the brim with about two pounds of Halloween candy.

The running theory was that someone had stashed it here ages ago, forgotten it, and it had just been there ever since, therefore transforming Locker 336 into ‘Candy Locker.’ Raph wasn't sure if the staff at the school truly just weren't aware of it, if they just didn't feel like dealing with it, or if they too respected it enough that they couldn't bring themselves to destroy it. All he knew was that Candy Locker was forever, and a fixture of the institution.

He also knew that every single year, without fail, Leo tried to sneak chocolate out of Candy Locker.

"You can't use Candy Locker. Leo! It's not open for use! It's Candy Locker, and it needs to be treated with respect!" Raph yelled, giving a low groan of annoyance as Leo just barely glanced back at him, just for a moment, this absolutely feral look of excitement in his eyes, and darted off, breaking away from their small group. Dammit.

All of Raph's little brothers were fast and small and nimble. Raph always felt a tiny bit awed when he watched how they moved-- weaving about obstacles like minnows swimming upstream, dancing and darting about in a way that always looked effortless. Raph was fast, too, and he was far more acrobatic than the average high schooler... Don't get it twisted, he was perfectly capable of back-flips and cartwheels. But small? Small he was not.

It was tough being a big guy sometimes. I mean, he didn't dislike it by any means! He loved being large enough that he could see over crowds and keep an eye on everything. He loved feeling strong and powerful enough that he could plant himself in between his family and any kind of danger, and feel like a wall-- an immovable object. He loved being strong, relished the rush of pinning his opponents to the ground beneath him without any effort and smashing his way through obstacles.

... But with size and strength comes responsibility. Wait, was that the quote? Something like that. The point was, if he ran after Leo, he'd mow half these kids down. And he didn't wanna hurt anyone or anything. He knew better than that.

"Raphael."

Raph's father knelt down next to him, his voice gentle, but nudging, demanding to be heard. It took Raph a few moments, but eventually, he glanced up at him, peeking shyly at his father from behind his hand and uncurling from the small ball he was rolled into just the tiniest bit.

"Raphael, did you hit Leonardo?"

He hesitated for a moment, and then nodded a tiny bit, sniffling loudly.

"And bite him?"

He nodded again, drawing his legs up to his chest and hiding his face in his knees.

His father sighed softly. "Red, we cannot--"

"He pushed me first!" He bit out, and he could feel his face burn even hotter than before, all muddy with shame and anger sloshed together. "H-he was being mean, and, and he wouldn't leave me alone! And I wanted him to stop!"

"I will talk to him, Red. But just because he pushes you does not mean you can push back. Or hit him, or bite him. You are bigger than him, Raphael." This brought a fresh sob tumbling through Raph's chest, despite his best efforts. His father sighed again before slowly sitting down, holding out his arms.

"Come here, my son."

Raphael rolled over onto his hands and knees, crawling into his dad's lap and burrowing his face into his chest. His dad's arms wrapped around him, squeezing him tight and rocking the two of them back and forth. And for a while, they just sat like that, quiet and still, hidden away in the hallway closet.

"Is Leo okay?" Raph eventually mumbled, not picking up his head.

"He will be alright," Dad confirmed. "But you did hurt him quite a bit, Raphael."

"Sorry." He whispered. He wiped at his face with balled-up fists, hiccuping a few times. His mouth tasted salty, now, from the tears, but it still tasted bitter from the blood, too.

"...You did a very good job coming to get me right away."

Raph hummed a tiny bit in response, but he didn't say anything beyond that. He wished he could fold himself up even tighter and hide. He wished he was so small he could fit in between the floorboards. He wished he could disappear.

"You know, your gym teacher is very impressed with you, Red." Dad eventually began to speak again. "He told me all about how wonderfully you do whenever he sees you. You're bigger and stronger than the other kids in your class," He continued, and then laughed. "And I think that is very cool! And it makes me very proud to hear about how well you have done."

Raph finally dared to peek up at his father again, wiping some of the tears off his cheeks.

"But I know it can be hard to be strong sometimes. It is a lot of work, being big and strong! You have to be careful with others around you, even if they're not careful with you back. That is very difficult!" He said, his hand moving in slow circles up and down his child's spine. "But I have seen you many, many times be big and strong to protect your brothers, and keep them safe, and to help them." He said, keeping quiet for a moment before exhaling slowly through his nose. "... Can I share a secret with you, Red?"

A secret? His eyes widened a bit, and he immediately nodded.

"I have been thinking that perhaps you boys might be ready to start learning proper martial arts at the dojo." Raph let out an audible gasp, his entire body perking up with excitement. Actual for real kung-fu and karate and stuff?! Not just blocks and poses!? "But I am a little worried that your brothers might hurt themselves, or fight with each other if I teach them."

Oh. Raph hadn't thought of that before. He frowned a bit, his brows suddenly pinched with worry. He hadn’t ever considered before that learning martial arts could actually be a bad idea. If he learned martial arts with his Dad, what if he just hurt his brothers worse?

"But I know how much you all want to learn. And I can already see how much potential you all have." He continued with a soft smile. "So I was hoping that you could help me. I don't like that you and Leo got into a fight, or that he got hurt... But now I know that you know what it feels like to hurt someone that you love. And that it doesn't feel very good, does it?"

No... It felt horrible. He furrowed his brows, frowning before nodding a bit.

"So I think that means that I can trust you to help me with teaching them how to be careful and strong at the same time, and keep them safe. Do you think you could handle that, Red?"

Raphael swallowed hard, feeling this wet lump form in his throat. All the tears from before welled up in his eyes again-- even though he didn't wanna live in the floorboards anymore. His dad still trusted him that much? Even now, after he messed up really bad? He tried to tell his father 'yes,' but his lips were wobbling too much for his tongue to work right, so he just nodded as hard as he could instead. Yes-- He wanted more than anything to help protect his little brothers, no matter what. ‘Cause even when they made him so, so angry... he still loved them so, so much.

"I thought so." Dad laughed, kissing the top of his son's head before ruffling his hair lightly. "And I know we will not have any more fighting like this. And no more biting , Raphael. We have talked about this. If you want to bite something, I will get you something else that is for biting. But it cannot be people! Understood?"

Hiccuping a bit, Raphael nodded again. Somehow, he wasn't even upset to be scolded this time. And he knew that he had said he wouldn't bite people before, but this time he really meant it.

"Good boy. Now, I am going to go check on your brothers. Do you want to stay here a little bit longer, or do you want to come with me?"

Raph took a long, deep breath, swallowing the lump in his throat so that he could find his voice again.

"I wanna see my brothers."

"GET BACK HERE, LEO. DON'T MAKE ME COME AFTER YOU." He shouted, and was completely ignored. "Donnie--"

"Not involved." Donnie immediately replied, not looking up from his phone.

Raph groaned, trying to pick up the pace without taking out any bystanders, muttering repeated, "Pardon me's," and "'Scuse me's," as he went.

Leo really wasn't that far ahead of them-- He wouldn't completely ditch them, but he did get far enough ahead that he was already breaking into Candy Locker by the time Raph rounded the corner, his face set into a deep scowl.

"Leo. Don't you dare."

"Look! Untouched and beautiful as ever!"

"Leo, do not eat the candy ."

"Wow, and they have all our favorites, too..."

"They are at least eight years old! At a minimum , Leo!"

"Oh, pshhh. As if I haven't seen you wolf down two-week-old leftovers before." Leo scoffed.

"Remember that time he ate beef jerky out of the trash?" Not helping, Donnie.

"It was right on top! Practically untouched!" Raph protested. "And that's completely different! Plus, eight years is, like, twelve times longer than two weeks is!"

"That math is not correct..." Donnie mumbled under his breath.

"Chillax! I'm not gonna eat any of the candy." Leo said, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

Oh, thank god.

"I just wanna have one. To like... put on a shelf or something. I bet Donnie could make a little pedestal for it."

Dammit.

"One year." Raph said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just one year. I just want us to leave Candy Locker in peace... for one year . It's a sacred space, Leo!"

"Mmmm..." Leo pursed his lips, placing a hand on his hip. "Yeah, I mean. I see what you're saying, but... I'm pretty sure no one is gonna miss, like, one Tootsie Pop."

"Stop messing with him, Leo." Donnie chided, cracking open a locker nearby, tossing his bag down and shucking off his jacket.

"Okay, okay. Fine. Because I'm an amazing brother, I will refrain from interacting any further with Candy Locker until after the meet." Leo declared, slapping the locker shut again with a flick of his wrist and a satisfying metallic clack. "But know this, Raphael. This isn't over."

Raphael scoffed, rolling his eyes, glaring at Leo as he yanked open his own locker. He loved his brothers dearly-- he did. But they were really lucky sometimes that he didn't just snap their necks.

---

At this point, Yoshi had a pretty good handle on these types of events, and he knew well enough how to navigate. He knew exactly which corner bounced cheers and shouts about the least, knew just where all the vents, pumping in warm air to prevent all the swimmers from freezing their butts off, were hidden, so they could be avoided, and knew the best seating arrangement that allowed for minimal soreness the following day. Metal bleachers weren’t exactly easy on your back, after all! Armed with years of experience, (plus his cellphone and earbuds for when events did not feature his sons and he got bored,) he was fully committed to making it through the meet and focusing for the entirety of it. Had he made any progress on the whole Hamato Ninpo thing? Well, no, not exactly. Which was. Ah. Worrisome. But, now was not the time for that!

He was quite excited to watch his three eldest sons kick ass and take names, as per usual.

He said 'hello' to a few of the other parents that he knew and made some polite small talk, settling down to watch the meet. Warm-ups were already done by the time he was all seated, and he could see his boys and the rest of their team from where they sat across the pool; audience members sat on one side, and competitors on the other. He watched them doing much of the same-- making conversation with each other and their teammates, checking their phones, and cheering whenever anyone they knew was in the water.

All in all, everything was fairly normal and expected. Yoshi still struggled a bit to keep himself focused, and not think too deeply about all the worries in his head, but it wasn't as bad as it had been lately... It had been nearly a week now with no further incidents, no questioning from his children, and no spooky prophecies or visions from his ancestors or anything like that. So he was beginning to wonder, or perhaps more accurately, hope that maybe it had just been a fluke. Just a one-off event rather than the beginning of anything trying. Maybe his family was fine, their identity and secrets were safe, and nothing further was going to occur to jeopardize that-- they could just continue to live in peace just as they had been.

He watched the twins get up from the bench for their next event, shedding their hoodies and towels in favor of goggles, only to get waved over by an official. The two wandered over and joined him and what appeared to be another parent. He couldn't hear what they were saying from where he was, but the conversation soon became animated-- Donnie's arms crossed over his chest, Leo talking wildly with his hands, and worry immediately began to blossom in his chest. He had just gotten to his feet, beginning to make his way over to the group when the discussion seemed to dissolve, his two sons walking away visibly upset. Yoshi met them halfway.

"What is going on?" He immediately questioned, his brows knit together, forming wrinkled creases in his skin. He could see Raphael straining to see from his side of the pool, a similar expression on his own face.

"Ugh. It's nothing." Leo huffed, a scowl set on his face, his hands on his hips. "Some Karen or whatever is just mad that we're gonna ruin her kid's record or whatever, so she talked the officials into drug testing us."

"Which is obviously a complete waste of time and resources," Donnie added in, rolling his eyes.

"She's just gonna embarrass herself when it comes back negative. As if we need any steroids to clean up shop." Leo declared, a small, sly grin growing on his face, offering out a hand to high-five his brother like, ‘Sick burn, right, Dee?'

His brother accepted, slapping his palm firmly. "Indeed."

Yoshi had broken out into a cold sweat, feeling as though his entire body had turned into stone, freezing him in place.

"O-oh. A drug test. Yes, how silly..." He mumbled, forcing a grin on his face. "How. Uh. How exactly... Does that work? Is it going to take long? I would hate for the, uh, the meet to be held up...!"

"No, they're just doing a rapid test." Donnie hummed. "Obviously it's going to be a smaller panel than they could achieve with a proper lab test, and not achieve quite as accurate or varied of a data set, but it should only take five minutes or so. I understand they're fetching the technician now, and then it should be as simple as collecting a urine sample to use. It can only reveal a 'negative' or 'positive' result rather than any more detailed variations or anything of the like, but of course, this isn't a concern for us, since we already know neither of us is using any drugs. It's actually a very fascinating process--"

Yoshi wasn't listening anymore, because all he could hear in his ears was his own voice screaming TURTLE PISS TURTLE PISS TURTLE PISS.

Logically, the test did not have the capacity to give such information. Donatello had just said that there were only two possible test results, positive or negative, and his purplest son usually knew what he was talking about regarding such things. So, reasonably, he knew it could not possibly come back ‘Mutant Turtle’. And rationally, he knew that his family had been under further scrutiny in the past and come out on the other side just fine. This did not ease his panic. It never did.

Insurance cards? Check. Paperwork? Check. All four children? Check. He went over his list for the fifth time in his head, glancing down at his kids, two on either side of him, as they approached the office. Right... Yes. He had everything he needed.

So why didn't he feel even the least bit prepared?

He had gone to such lengths to ensure the success of this plan. He had accounted for every document that would need to be forged, had crafted an elaborate story to explain his disappearance, and had paid dearly for the five bracelets that concealed his and his sons' mutant identities. He prepared for every possible threat to their new identities, and did everything he could to allow the success of their new lives.

It wasn't like he didn't account for this. He knew that it would be an obstacle, and he knew that it would be one that they would have to face. That didn't stop it from being terrifying.

The doctor.

Despite all the paperwork he had fabricated, he knew that they wouldn't be able to avoid going to the doctor forever. Even if he falsified records indicating his sons were up to date on absolutely everything and in perfect health, this would only buy them a year or two before they would be due for a visit, or risk being barred from enrollment in public school. And even if he somehow avoided this, too, what if one of his children got sick? Or injured? Was he to simply keep them at home and deny them medical care?

No, no. He wanted his kids to have a normal life. He wanted them to be able to do things like go to school and play in parks and make friends with other children... and have proper medical care when it was needed. He wanted them to be vaccinated, to be screened for problems, to have regular check-ups and be able to go to the hospital when they were hurt. He desperately wanted this.

But jesus christ, this was terrifying.

"Are you ready, boys?" He asked, glancing down at his children once more. He was trying to keep his voice level and his body language calm, but he could tell that his sons could sense his anxiety. His heart broke a little when four pairs of big, horrified eyes looked up at him and they shook their heads.

"Ah, where are my brave boys?" He questioned, nudging them ever so slightly, beginning the walk into the office. He held Mikey and Donnie's hands tightly so that they wouldn't be able to tell he was shaking. "Do not worry. I promise that Dr. Davis is very nice. Nothing bad will happen." He assured.

The boys didn't seem too convinced. He wasn't either, truthfully, but he marched them inside anyway.

It had been over a decade since he had last been inside a doctor's office, and even longer than that since he had been to a pediatrician. Yet somehow, it felt like nothing had really changed. Colorful wires with wooden beads strung on them stuck out from a brightly-painted table in the middle of the room, in sharp contrast to the faded burgundy chairs lined along the walls. Children's books and Highlight magazines covered every available surface, which Donnie immediately took to reading. There were a few other parents with their children as well, but the Hamatos were in no mood to socialize. After speaking to the woman at the front desk, Yoshi got to work filling out a literal stack of papers. He was so nervous, he messed up at least three different forms, and had to sheepishly request new copies.

And then they waited.

The longer they sat, the more the collective anxiety seemed to mount. Yoshi couldn't help the scenarios running through his mind over and over, each one ending with a doctor or nurse shrieking in horror and calling Animal Control--

"Dad."

Yoshi blinked back into reality, looking down at his youngest son, pulling at his sleeve with tears in his eyes.

"Dad, I wanna go home," Mikey whispered, leaning in close to him and sniffling a bit. "I don't wanna see the doctor."

Quite frankly, Yoshi was inclined to agree with his kid, to pick them all up and walk out right this very minute. But he suppressed the urge.

"I know, Mikey. I do not like seeing the doctor either." He admitted, scooping up the preschooler to hold in his lap. "But I promise... Dr. Davis is very nice, and, ah, I will not let them do anything bad to you... I am sure everything will be fine...!"

Before he could continue his, quite frankly, horrible pep talk, a nurse poked her head into the room from the back.

"The Hamatos?"

"Yo. Dad. You good?"

Yoshi paused for a moment before he returned properly back to the present day, glancing over at his sons and giving a nervous laugh, which then dissolved into a cough.

"Ah! Yes, of course! I am perfectly fine! Why wouldn't I be!" He wheezed, and his sons exchanged looks.

"Papa, honestly, it's fine. This will take ten minutes tops, and again, I assure you that neither Leo nor myself are engaging in any kind of recreational substances." Donnie said.

"Yeah! All we gotta do is piss in a cup." Leo added in. "And then we'll be all set. It's just annoying. Here, why don't you sit down, watch some Netflix or something-- I know you like Netflix-- and we'll be back in a bit, okay? Just chill."

"Right. Of course. I am... very chill." Yoshi insisted, even though he could feel his hands trembling a bit. Gah! Stupid traitor hands! Stop it!

"Surrreeee," Donnie said, taking him by the arm and slowly leading him back to the bleachers, sitting him down and patting his shoulder. "We'll be right back, alright? Nothing to worry about."

---

"Alright, you should be all set." Dr. Davis hummed pleasantly, offering a gentle smile to her latest anxious parent. "Everyone looks great! Healthy weights, nothing scary going on... We'll send you home with some literature and referral information for Donatello. I would recommend considering getting in contact with them if you can, especially since he's gonna be starting school soon, but beyond that everything looks fantastic."

"Yes-- thank you," Yoshi said, forcing a smile, shakily accepting the new stack of papers that the doctor handed over.

Nothing had gone wrong.

Well, a few things had gone wrong. Mikey and Raphael had both cried when they got their shots. Donnie had a small meltdown after being repeatedly touched by people he didn't like. And Leo had punched a nurse in the gut for upsetting his brothers.

But their bill of health came back clean. No mentions of turtles, mutations, cold-bloodedness, or reptilian features of any kind.

They made it through. They would be okay.

"... And we'll see you back in about five weeks for their next booster series, okay? Jacklyn up front can get you all scheduled!"

Yoshi pursed his lips slightly, his mouth suddenly feeling rather dry.

"... Ah. Yes. Of course."

---

The concept of buoyancy was built upon that of displacement; the idea that two different forms of matter could not occupy the same space. Archimedes once theorized that water, a liquid, would be pushed aside by a solid mass, but an object of an appropriate weight, density, or shape could ensure that the displaced weight of the water was greater than the total weight of the object, therefore ensuring it to float. This is, of course, connected to the concept of forces. Gravity is a downward force that acts upon all objects; when an object is placed in a fluid, that fluid must supply a force equal in magnitude but opposite in direction to the gravitational force for the object to float. Scientifically speaking, it was all a matter of density and mass, and every action that one took in the water, as well as every action that the water had in response, could be explained through a series of formulas and equations.

... In a non-scientific sense, however, water was safe and soft and inviting. Water would make room for you, no matter who you were or what you were doing. Once you got in, it would change itself to make exactly enough space for your body. Water was fluid and changing, soft and gentle when you moved softly, hard and firm when you moved harshly. In the water, the way you move changes. The way you see and hear changes. Perception itself shifts.

God, Donatello loved swimming.

Even just swimming laps was great, but a race only heightened the experience, engaging every bit of his body and mind and encouraging him to push. From the moment the buzzer went off and he dived from the starting block, ( push off with your legs, you're going for distance, not for height, hands together, smooth entry point, ) to the lap down, ( head down, no breathing except for when you absolutely need to, arms go back and glide over the water-- imagine your fingertips skimming just over the surface, no unnecessary movement, just enough for the maximum propulsion forward with minimal effort, ), the turn at the wall, ( watch the floor, see the blue tile end and the white begin-- you know the math, count it out, at five you duck, chin to your chest, arms together, kick off the wall and get as much air off that sucker as you can, ) and the sprint back, ( kick from your hips, not your knees, no reserving energy, it's just a fifty, this is a ‘dash,’ so dash -- )

Every second of it he was engaged, and every second of it he adored the experience. He didn't even slow down when he approached the wall, ramming into it at full speed and using his outstretched hands to stop himself and trigger the timer that stopped the clock. They didn't have to worry about slowing down. They wouldn't run into anything. Their own hands and the water would catch them.

Sucking in ragged breaths, he looked to his left, and then he looked to his right. Leo was right behind him, but as he glanced up at the display board on the wall to check his time, he grinned widely. He had more than a five-second lead over him. More than enough to qualify for Regionals-- not that he had been worried. Leo was well within the range as well, just as expected. The three of them always went to Regionals. And Donnie was quite pleased to note that the kid from Lane 4, the child, he and Leo had deduced, of the woman who demanded they be tested, was significantly behind the two of them. Sure, his time was good enough to qualify for Regionals, too...

But it wasn't anywhere near as good as theirs. Haha. Suck it.

One by one, all of the racers joined him at the end of the lane, bobbing about in the water and holding onto the pool edge or the lane lines, everyone out of breath and filled with adrenaline. He shook the hands of his two lane neighbors, congratulating both of them on a race well run, and once the referee blew his whistle, he clambered out of the water, hoisting himself up back onto dry land and moving to rejoin his twin.

"Killed it." Leo said, though breathlessly, ("if you're not struggling to breathe by the end of a race, you're not doing it right," their coach often said,) offering a fistbump, which Donnie reciprocated.

"As expected." He said, grinning wide as the two of them made their way back to the bleachers.

"Leo! Donnie! Nice!" Raph called as they approached, tossing them each a towel to wrap around themselves, each beginning to dry themselves off, peeling goggles and swim caps off their heads. "Good time! But, uh, what was with the--?"

"Some lady made us do a drug test," Leo explained, waving a hand as if to dismiss Raph's concerns. "It was dumb, we both passed, it's all good now. Just annoying."

"A drug test?! Seriously?!" Raph said, scoffing loudly. And admittedly, Raphala was no stranger to similar situations. Donnie recalled he had been accused of taking steroids or faking his age more than once in his various sporting exploits, but it typically wasn't taken as far as to actually test him. Donnie thought, vaguely, that he was almost surprised that Raph wasn't subject to the same treatment as he and Leo were today, but he supposed it did make at least a bit of sense. Raph was big-- he was tall and visibly muscular and powerful. People looked at him and expected him to excel in athletics.

He and Leo? Not so much. Leo was only 5'5", and he himself barely passed 5'3" without his boots, much to his annoyance. They were both lean and clearly athletically inclined, sure, but they were both much smaller and slimmer than their older brother was. People looked at them and were often surprised by their respective sporting resumes. Especially him.

"Yes, yes, it was an unfortunate waste of everyone's time." Donnie agreed. "But to no one's surprise, it came back completely spotless, and we were able to proceed without issue and completely destroy absolutely everyone, in your face Karen, thank you very much."

"Is that why Dad's been freaking out?" Raph asked after a moment, raising a brow. Donnie followed his eyes to steal a glance over at their father on the other side of the pool, looking much better than he had before they received their test results, (both he and Leo offering him thumbs up from across the way once they had been cleared, and watching him sag with relief,) but still seemed a bit shaky.

"Yeah," Leo said, wrinkling his nose. "I thought he was gonna pass out for a second there when we told him. He was sweating so much, it was disgusting."

"He doesn't seriously think you guys' would come back positive or anything, does he?" Raph scoffed, frowning a bit, and Leo shook his head.

"Nah, I don't think so. But you know how scared he is of doctors."

---

Dad always got like this whenever they had an appointment.

'This' meaning, of course, 'Visibly and overwhelmingly anxious and frightened, absolutely filled with dread and horror.'

They were all kind of used to it by now.

When they were little, it would sort of freak them out, because every time they had to go to the doctor, he had to come with them, and he'd be in a state of near-panic the whole time. And if Dad was freaking out, then they should probably be freaking out too, right? Looking back, Leo recognized that he was always trying to hide it, but quite frankly, he did a pretty shit job at it. Now that they had gotten a bit older, however, collectively exiting elementary school years to enter junior high, they more-or-less recognized that Dad's doctor-induced panic was really more of a personal thing, and not necessarily something that they needed to worry about themselves. Leo still didn't really like the doctor, and he kind of doubted he ever would, but he wouldn't really categorize himself as 'afraid' any longer.

Their Dad? Not so much.

The four of them had been long aware of the little note on the calendar in the kitchen, the sacred piece of literature that controlled all their lives, dictating that at four o'clock on this date, their dear father would be summoned to the doctor's office. And they knew that, of course, like he did every time, he would totally freak out. And, just as predicted, he had been an anxious mess all day, pacing around the house, mumbling nonsense to himself, (something about them being ‘onto him’ and ‘rat blood’ and other completely meaningless jibber-jabber.)

But this time, they had a plan. They absolutely could not continue to watch him like this. Everyone was in place. Leo looked across the living room, nodding to Raph. Raph glanced at Donnie, who checked his watch, and likewise nodded an affirmative. Mikey put down his sketchbook, getting to his feet, and the four of them, following his cue, fell into step with each other and filed into the kitchen.

Mission: Save Daddy From the Horrors was a go.

"Hey Dad," Mikey began, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and leaning into him slightly. Raph, at the same time, got to work preparing a pot of tea-- Donnie fetched the cream, Leo was on sugar duty. "So, we were thinking. Maybe we could come with you this afternoon?"

Their father startled slightly, immediately moving to glare at Mikey with suspicious eyes. "What?! Come with me? Why would you want to come with me to a doctor's appointment?"

"Well, we were just thinking, it might be a nice, uh... family outing!" Raphael offered with a shrug, chuckling nervously and looking to the side. "And maybe we could, I dunno, get frozen yogurt on the way back?"

"And we could watch that game show you like on the way over. With the mystery shrimp?" Donnie suggested.

"Plus, I mean, I've been meaning to get some acting tips from you? Not that I need them, obviously, but..." Leo added, placing a cup into his father's hands as he narrowed his eyes.

"... You boys are... up to something..." Dad mumbled, looking between the four of them with a slight frown.

"Up to something? No! Of course not!" Raph insisted, and Mikey placed a hand on their father's shoulder.

"We just want to spend more quality time with you! As a family! Don't you want to spend time with us, your loving sons?" He questioned, batting his eyes. "Plus, we can get frozen yogurt! We know how much you love frozen yogurt, right?"

"Yeah, what they said," Donnie said.

"Pleaseeeee?" Leo went in for the kill, offering a dramatic pout, poking his lower lip out as far as it could possibly go. Mikey joined in shortly, combining their powers to reach near-dangerous levels of puppy-dog-eyes.

"... I suppose... If you really would like to..."

Score. They were in. Goal: minimize anxiety and get their dad home from the doctor's office in one piece for a change. And if they got some frozen yogurt in the process? What was the harm in that? As far as Leo was concerned, so long as they could manage to get their Dad through this appointment without totally freaking out, that'd be a win. And, if things went well, it would be that much easier to convince him to allow them to accompany him to future appointments, too.

---

The rest of the swim meet went about as expected. Donnie easily got the best times in every event he participated in, and all three of them, plus a couple of their teammates, made it into the upcoming Regionals. Trophies and ribbons were given out in the end, which they had all immediately passed on to their father, ‘cause he was more excited about them than they were and would surely figure out a way to find space for at least some of them at home. Raph physically wrestled an ancient Twix bar out of Leo's hands, and once his little brother finally cried for mercy and swore to leave Candy Locker alone for the remainder of the trip, he unpinned him from the ground and allowed him to get back up. Normal stuff.

It wasn't until the train ride home that things got kind of weird.

About fifteen minutes in Leo started giving him these looks. Looks that said, ' go on, say something.' So Raph started giving Leo ' no, you say something ' looks. After some back and forth, they both tried to give Donnie looks, but Donnie completely ignored them in every sense of the word, pointedly refusing to look up from his phone as he discussed the process of coding artificial intelligence to their dad, who clearly didn't understand anything they were saying, but to his credit, was doing his best to nod along.

After losing a silent game of rock-paper-scissors played at knee-level, just outside of their father's field of vision, Raph cleared his throat, leaning over slightly.

"Sooo, Pops... You been... sleeping okay?"

"Hm? Oh, yes! You know I am always out like a light after my before-bed snack!" Dad replied easily with a chuckle, and Raph frowned, ‘cause he could tell just by looking at him that that was a lie.

"Uh-huh. Right." Leo scoffed, not buying it. "That's crazy. Because, no offense, but you look kind of like garbage. And like you haven't so much as touched a pillow in, like... ever."

This immediately earned him a smack to his forehead.

"Garbage?! I will have you know that I was voted Hollywood's ‘Sexiest Action Film Star’ five years in a row! No respect!"

Leo whined loudly, rubbing his forehead and mumbling "ew," under his breath, but Raph knew it was all for show. Dad's infamous ‘Karate Chops’ never actually hurt. Though it could be that Leo was more hurting from the psychological damage of hearing their father refer to himself as ‘sexy’ than anything else...

"I concur-- ew. And as fascinating as this factoid that you've cursed us with is, father, it doesn't really address the fact that you've clearly not been sleeping." Donnie remarked, still not looking up from his phone screen. Raph knew he was listening, though. He wasn't typing, no video was playing. He was fully engaged with the conversation. Just needed his barrier.

"Yeah, if anyone is qualified to identify an insomniac, it's me!" Leo added in.

"What we're trying to say is," Raph jumped in, hands held out and a nervous smile on his face, "Is just, uh. That we're a little worried about you, Pops. I mean. You've seemed kind of, uh, out of it... since..."

"Since that thing with Mikey." Leo helpfully supplied, crossing his arms over his chest.

Raph noted the slight twitch in his Dad's left eye.

"What thing with Mikey?" Dad feigned.

"Uh, the thing where he started a fire in his room? That thing? Ringing any bells?" Leo pressed, with a tone and a look that said 'yeah, nice try.'

"Oh, yes. That." Their dad said, waving a hand dismissively. "We have already discussed this, boys. The important thing is that Mikey was not hurt, and Purple, I know you are upset because you are not allowed to start fires anymore--"

"It's not about Mikey, Dad," Raph interjected. "It's about you! You've just... you've been acting... weird! And it's been nearly a week now! And-- and if something's goin' on, we wanna know!"

"Nothing is going on." Their father immediately denied. "I already told you all. That was simply a freak accident, and it is not anything worth worrying about. I am fine! It is nothing you need to concern yourselves with."

"Dad, come on. There's obviously something bothering you!" Raph pushed a little harder, despite the anxiety bubbling up in his stomach, feeling like a soda can in a washing machine. "We just wanna help. Come on, don't you trust us--"

"Enough." This time it was Dad who interrupted, his voice harder now, firm and definite. Raph flinched slightly. "I already said it is none of your concern. I am fine. I am perfectly capable of handling this, and I do not want any of you involved!"

Raph opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but was surprised to find that there were no words. So he closed it again. He glanced over at Leo and Donnie, but they had about the same expressions on their faces as him.

"Please, Red." He heard the sigh in his father's voice, and he sounded softer now, tired even, and placed a hand on Raph’s shoulder. Raph glanced downwards, his eyes following all the knobs in his father’s fingers, the wrinkles in his knuckles. He didn't want to look at his face, because he knew that if he did, he would see him as an elderly man rather than Dad. He hated it when that happened, when he fell into that headspace... Just seeing people as people, just looking at them for exactly what they were, with all the familiarity and memories stripped away from them. "Just let me take care of this. I have everything under control."

Raph frowned a bit, not entirely sure if he believed him.

"We have a good life, Raphael. I need you to let me keep it that way." He said. "And to trust me enough not to get involved. Please."

He didn't look at Leo or Donnie this time. Something in his gut was screaming at him that this wasn't the move. The words Dad was picking here felt... off. But the way his voice sounded... He swallowed thickly, and then slowly nodded.

"Yeah. Okay, Dad. We trust you."

Far beneath the city, below the concrete, below the subways, below even the sewers, the world eventually became city again-- Hidden below the oblivious humans above. At the edge of this city, a small vine grew from the soil, slow and silent, just at the seam of a brick wall. Ever-so-carefully, the vine grew and expanded, pushing itself upward, dark and veiled in violet veins.

The vine pressed itself up against the stone wall, curling unnaturally upward, and a bit of stone cracked in response, falling away to the soil below.

The vine pushed further.

[ next ]

#sorrywhatnowau #sorrywhatnowaufic #fanfic #rottmnt #tmnt #rottmnt fanfic #rottmnt human au #tmnt human au #rise raph #rottmnt raph #turtle tots #fidgetwing

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em-writes-stuff-sometimes · 11 months

Text

I really hate to drop and run, but I’ve posted the latest update just before I step away from fandom.

It might be a couple days, it might be a couple months. I’m not sure. I’ve been receiving some anons that, as a general consensus, are telling me that I was a bully for addressing the content stealing because I have a bigger platform and the other person isn’t a native English speaker. My job was brought into it in a way I was uncomfortable with, and I was told rather rudely that it’s not anyone else’s problem that I choose to spend as much time as I do making content (which, weirdly, I don’t think I’ve ever complained about, per se). I’m being told I am a bitch, a cunt, that I should k*ll myself, that the whole thing was an overreaction, that I was wrong to call the other person out. I’m being told that all I do is stir drama, that my life must suck because I’m such an attention-seeking slut, that I’ve lied about both plagiarism cases and that I attack everyone I’m threatened by. I’m being told in anons, and even in reblogs, that I have nothing to complain about and that the other individual was justified in their behaviour. According to these anons, I’m a liar, I’m toxic, I’m the reason fandom is so awful right now, I’m a narcissist, and I should leave the fandom.

Okay, then.

I came with receipts. Even my call-out post was polite. I did not call this person out until they were rude to me and indicated they were unwilling to resolve this issue. I do not believe I should be subject to criticism and abuse for defending my work. Sure, perhaps “all fanfiction is plagiarism”, but in some instances, my work was literally taken from within mere days of posting, and in the SAME fandom for the SAME root pairing. This is not coincidental. This is not something I ever thought I would be demonised for being upset by.

I refuse to allow myself to be degraded and gaslit into minimising a problem created by another user, and mocked for having feelings over that. I was polite to this person. I was kind to this person. They proceeded to insult me, and so, with no further recourse, I took the situation public as I was recommended to do so by my fellow writers. I have never lied about this - I did publically post it when my attempt at private mediation failed. My intention was to force their hand. It worked. Is this kind? No, of course not. Was I aggressive? Yes, perhaps. But these are the wrong questions to ask.

See - why do I have to tolerate being treated unfairly? Why do I have to bite my tongue and lay down so others can walk all over me? Why is it that the fact that people follow me means I am not allowed to ever voice my upset about the manner in which I am being misused? I don’t understand - are all plagiarism call-outs “starting drama” now? I’m particularly upset by this. I do not bait drama, and I do not start shit for the fun of it. I guess there are those who think I should’ve just let them continue; after all, it’s only fanfiction. Not a big deal, right?

I was polite. Until I wasn’t. I did get angry when, after being confronted by all this, they doubled down, making several manipulative posts about me across platforms and blocking me from my right to respond. I’ll apologise for the tone, and I regret posting links to their crossposts - which I did take down not long after posting them, though this is perhaps redundant now - but I am not sorry for being angry. I am allowed to be angry. Maybe it’s “just fanfiction” and I “don’t own any of this stuff anyway”, but it’s my writing, my hours, my research, and my enjoyment that’s being cheapened by all this.

To those of you who have a problem with this and with me - at least do me the courtesy of letting me know you think I suck so that I (or my friend, who I will be giving some measure of access to my account) can block you back. I don’t want you being part of my space if I decide to return, and nor do I have to live up to everyone’s simultaneous expectations of me. I feel powerless after being told so many times that I don’t have the right to protect my hard work. I’m sorry you’re disappointed in me, but I don’t have any obligation to act the way you - a bystander, who has no idea how much I’ve worked on my writing and how much happiness it has brought me - deem it morally correct to do so.

So, I’m done with fandom and with writing.

For now at least, that is. I’m sad and drained and I no longer enjoy being part of an environment where I am being attacked for something I didn’t start. My passion has been obliterated. My joy sucked away. I feel alone. And this person has continued to make mocking commentary about me on their Wattpad account after reactivating, showing no signs of stopping anytime soon. I’m done.

I’ll be turning off anons for at least a while, even if I feel ready to come back tomorrow. I probably won’t be responding or posting or even really checking in that often, because just the sight of Tumblr is making me anxious and unhappy at the moment.

I do hope I’ll see you soon. If not - thank you. Thank you for being part of this journey. I love you all for being in my life, even if it wasn’t for long.

Bye xxx

#em gets personal sometimes #em writes stuff sometimes personal #personal updates

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slytherinqueenrose · 1 year

Text

The new stylist

Tom Felton x F!reader

WC: 2.2K

Summary: Y/N is the new stylist on Harry Potter set and quickly becomes Tom’s small crush.

Warnings: It’s just lame. Additionally grammar errors (I’m not a native speaker, sorry for all mistakes!), kiss, some slight curse words, calling names, let me know if I forgot about sth. I don’t see too many imagines with Tom so even though I hardly have time to write, I decided to do so and create something for Tom himself. I know a lot people love him (me too ofc) so here it is, I hope you’ll like it.

I wrote if for my lovely friend @nobodybutapathetic . Kei helped me a lot during the past few days and I am truly thankful that the destiny sent her to me. Have a great day/night dear and a lot of luck during your exams!

Take a deep breath, inhale and exhale. Relax. Those people will like you - nope, hold on - they’ll accept you. That’ll be enough. I came from abroad only to become a stylist on Harry Potter set. The youngest stylist. I had no idea what to expect, what kind of reaction I’ll get from the cast and if my abilities will be good enough. I wanted this job and once I got an acceptance, I knew I had to do everything in my power not to fuck something up. And there I was, standing and waiting by my makeup station, mentally cursing myself. I could have applied for a basic makeup artist job in my small town so I wouldn’t be dying inside and shitting my pants but I had to prove being worth something more. Was I overreacting? Of course I was. Overthinking and being a drama queen was one of my specialities, right after being and artist.

But…

“Well, hello, who are you?” He asked with his brows furrowed. By saying ‘he’ I mean Tom. Tom Andrew Perfection Felton. He wasn’t exactly my idol but I found him very attractive since the very first time I saw him in the Philosopher’s Stone. And then, once he stood right in front of me, he looked more mature, fantastic, bombastic, out of world so just like always. He had his Slytherin uniform on and he came to have his makeup and hair done.

“Hi, I’m Y/N and I’m a new stylist. Nice to meet you, Tom.” I said, with a nervous smile on my face. His expression softened and a shy smile appeared on his lovely face. I don’t even know when he grabbed my hand I kissed my knuckles in possibly the softest way. I only know that my face has gone red. Scarlet. Or any other shade of red.

“Oh alright, so my first question is if you want me to prepare you or maybe you’ll trust other stylists more and-“

“Of course I want you to work with me. You got this job for a reason and I trust you.”

He then sat on the nearest chair and sent me the most adorable smile I’ve ever seen. I think I made a good first impression, didn’t I?

“So, tell me, Tom. Have you ever wore a full makeup on set before or maybe your previous stylist used to apply only a bit of powder or concealer under your eyes?” I asked, looking everywhere but his eyes. Yet, he was only staring at me which made me go even more crimson.

“They used to do this and that. I truly don’t know what you mean now.” He laughed.

“Fine. So before I start, I need to do a skin care first so your face will be nice and well prepared for the makeup. Do you know what kind of skin you have? Is it dry or oily maybe?”

“Uhh, normal I guess?”

“Even better. So just close your eyes and I’ll take a good care of you, alright?”

“As you wish, darling.”

Darling.

I craved to hear this word coming from his mouth but I never thought he could direct it to me. It sounded absolutely heavenly and I won’t lie telling you that I almost fucked my job up because I’ve been thinking about this name so intensely. Happily he seemed to not having a clue about what I was doing.

“I’m going to apply the thinest layer of foundation now. It feels very light on skin so it won’t make you feel uncomfortable, I promise.” I said while opening the foundation bottle. Tom only nodded, his small smile still visible. Once I started applying the product, he opened his beautiful, ocean eyes and looked at me with a soft expression. He didn’t say a word which made me hold my breath for quite some time.

“I’ll go with a concealer now and then I’ll set it with powder and makeup fixer …” I kept on rambling while he was just looking at me and analysing my face. It ended up with him falling asleep while I was finishing his face and then started working with his soft hair. Good to know that he actually trusted me so much.

Nevertheless, after finishing my work, I had to wake him up which resulted in the purest view I’ve ever experienced. Tom was a sleepy mess. Cute mess. When his eyes finally landed on me, he smiled sweetly and then he checked his look in the mirror. I knew he was truly happy about the result, so was I. After he got up from his seat, he gave me the sweetest kiss on the cheek and whispered a quiet “thank you” which had me die inside.

What a shame I couldn’t work with him anymore. Why? Well, the director decided to let me work with the interns only because I needed some practice on set and preparing the most important part of crew wasn’t exactly the best idea. To say that I was pissed off is like saying nothing. Well, hello! I’ve made Tom looking even more fabulous than he actually was! Wasn’t is enough to let me work with everyone? Well, let’s say every great work has its greater issues. Or maybe it’s just me who was simply unlucky. However, I must admit that I felt satisfied anyway because I had a chance to meet Tom and even though I could only prepare him once, it was still the hugest privilege.

***

It was mine 5th month on set and yet I had no chance to even look at Tom. His role in the Order of the Phoenix turned out to only last for five minutes of total screen time. Or even less so he rarely appeared on set. Additionally he had another movie he was playing in so his time was limited. Yet, when he came one day, with his older brother Chris, the whole crew was dying from laughter due to Chris’s hilarious sense of humour. Tom seemed so similar to him if it came to joking. I barely could hold my laughter when they started bickering.

“You know, Chis isn’t exactly a type of an artist. Acting is lame, and dance is like ‘fuck off’.” The blond laughed. “Pity. I think you’d look extremely sexy in a tutu, bro.” He said which made everyone bust out laughing and Chris only rolled his eyes, smirking.

“Have you told your friends about your ban from the dvd shop already?” Chris asked which made his brother gone pale. “Don’t look at me like that, Thomas. You were the one who wanted to-“

“Don’t you dare!”

“Easy, maggot.”

Naturally Chris haven’t continued this story while Tom was nearby but some time later he told everyone that Thomas wanted to steal a DVD with a porn video from a shop but unfortunately got caught and banned from the store. Oh Tommy, what a poor thing.

A few days later, I saw Tom sitting alone in the dining hall, during breakfast. He smiled as I entered the room and we exchanged shy “hi”. I could feel his eyes on me for the whole time while I was preparing my food (a cup of coffee which was unhealthy af especially before eating). I felt like he wanted the give me a lesson about a healthy food which would be hilarious since he was the one having fast food for breakfast. But…

“You’ll get in the tire.” Daniel said to Rupert, while entering the hall. I almost dropped my tea spoon, after hearing them. I furrowed my brows instantly. What the f-

“I want to roll you down the hill after work.” The brunette added.

“Are you crazy? I may get hurt.” The ginger boy responded, scared.

“You’ll be in a tire, chill.” Dan said, sipping on his juice.

I looked at Tom and he looked at me. Both pretty surprised. I sat on a counter while sipping my coffee and observing the two “gryffindors”.

“Alright, have you ever seen a car crash?” Dan asked and Rupert nodded.

“The car was ruined.” Grunt replied.

“And the tires?”

The look of the honest shock appeared on Rupert’s face.

“And the tires were absolutely fine.” He said with widened eyes. Then he smirked. “I’m in, I want you to roll me down the hill in a tire.”

At that moment Tom and I were exchanging amused looks while the two of our friends kept on discussing their phenomenal plan. Once they left the both of us bursted out with laughter. They were impossibly out of world.

“Do you think we should inform someone about their ridiculous plan?” Tom asked after approaching me. From the closer distance I could notice his natural dark hair slowly growing which meant one thing - next bleaching session.

“Rules are rules. You mustn’t do anything harmful. So yes, absolutely yes.” I replied, taking another sip of my coffee however suddenly Tom took my mug away. I looked at him with a questioning expression and he just narrowed his eyes.

“Seriously? What about the breakfast first?”

“This is-“

“Oh please.” He shook his head. “I have some spare chicken nuggets. Come and eat at least one, will you?”

Puppy eyes. Oh, those precious puppy eyes. As much as I wanted to say no, I couldn’t. Firstly because I wasn’t be able to refuse, secondly due to his hard yet delicate grip on my wrist. He pulled me towards his table and sat me down on one of chairs. I had no time to even say a word before he put the whole nugget in my mouth. Well, I’m not a baby? I guess.

“If you don’t want to be fed like a newborn, you have to eat healthier.”

I almost choked myself. Says who? He ate almost three whole sets of McDonald’s meals or lucky meals or happy meals- idk how it’s called honestly. I rarely visit places serving fast food. Not that I am a fit freak - absolutely not. I just prefer cooking myself.

“Considering the fact that I already ate one, just as you asked, wouldn’t you mind giving me my coffee back? I’m about to start a very tiring day with loads mermaid characterisations so I need caffeine more than I need air.” I mumbled, raising my eyebrow. Tom looked me up and down, then looked at my coffee mug and back at me.

“Three more and you’ll have it back. Promise.”

“You already broke one, that’s not fair.”

“I do it because I care, darling.” Again. I almost fainted. I know that many of you may consider this name being just normal and nothing special but believe me, I craved it. I needed it in my life. “I see you’re going scarlet every time I call you like that. Pleasure for me, darling.” He smirked and I bumped his shoulder. Don’t you dare thinking you can play with me like that.

“How’s your present stylist?” I asked, wanting to change the subject desperately.

“Oh, she’s fine. Unfortunately she’s not a fan of the skin care you introduced me to but I think she’s enough I can ask for.”

“Happily your skin didn’t fall off so I consider it a success.”

“I remembered everything you told me about the skin care, you know? I had run to the store right after hearing the sad news about your inability to work with the important cast members. I probably bought the whole shop but my face feels like a baby bum.” He laughed and I nodded, taking a small bite of the nugget that he tried to feed me with. “Perhaps you want to have a closer look?” He added and leaned closer to me, almost not leaving any space between the two of us. I could feel his breath on my lips and our eyes were just at the same level. He was looking my features up and down several times before placing a tender kiss in the corner of my lips. I felt butterflies erupting in my stomach and my cheeks burning.

“Well, it’s almost 7 and I-“

“It’s absolutely fine to like me, you know?”

Oh lord

“Not to mention, that I like you too, love.”

What?

“Are you going to look at me like that all the time? Close your lovely mouth before you start drooling.” He teased.

“Wait, what did you just say?”

“That you should close-“

“No, before.”

“Do you want me to repeat it?”

I nodded several times as he smiled, his cheeks flushed. At least I wasn’t alone if it comes to blushing.

“I think I’ll better show you.” He said with a smirk and then…

He kissed me. He kissed me straight on my lips. His arms pulled me even closer to him which resulted in sitting on his lap. At first I was stiff however after a while I wrapped my arms around his neck and I kissed him back, much to his satisfaction.

“Ha! I won 20 pounds!” Rupert cheered and the both of us broke the kiss immediately. “I knew that after months of his sighting and talking about Y/N, you’ll finally get together.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be rolled from the hill in the tire?” Tom asked, causing everyone to burst into laughter.

“Later.”

I could say much about the crew but they for sure were just idiots. Idiots which I truly loved.

#dracotok #draconic #draco fic #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco #draco x you #draco fluff #draco fanfiction #draco lucius malfoy #draco imagine #tom felton #tom felton imagine #harry potter #potterhead

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summersareknives · 1 year

Text

quick talk about comment etiquette.

thought that this wouldn’t happen again , tbh. like i genuinely thought it was a one and done situation. i really really really hate this . but here we go -

whoever the fuck you are , i genuinely fucking hate you right now. maybe that’s an overreaction, but after a really suckish anon (was it you ? be honest.) , i’ve kind of lost all my patience.

so let’s take this apart , quickly.

“i waited a whole fucking month for this shit” - first of all , i’m sorry about that. i apologised , and i didn’t mean to take so long , but i have a life. like i am a person. i have exams , i have lessons , i have stuff to do , okay ?? and furthermore ,, i do not owe you anything. this is fanfic. which i write for myself & my pocket friends . so i don’t quite know who you think you are coming into my comments , demanding stuff like this. go write your own stuff , dude. do not ,,,, and i mean do not ,,, spend time and energy on leaving shit like this into my inbox.

“that doesn’t even make sense” - don’t insult my story maybe that’s the first thing. again fanfic = for fun. not a book review , don’t have a team of editors , just me and my laptop. that is it. second of all - this story had a time jump in it. there are a couple of weeks omitted from the fic , because i didn’t want to write another filler chapter. there’s literally no reason to be so fucking mean. like genuinely why ? i just know it was you who left that ask.

the thing is , i’m not making you read my story. like at this point , i’d really you rather not. this story isn’t for cunts who leave mean comments, but just for anyone who feels like it. like you don’t like it ?? tell your friends , tell your parents whatever. don’t tell me. don’t leave arseholish comments like this and be all ‘ooohhh i’m a story connoisseur because i read ff of gay wizards online oooh’ like who do you think you are ??

to my lovely fanfic writers. - sorry if anyone like this comments on your stories. i got two mean comments and i’m a second away from burrowing myself into a hole in the ground and never coming back up again. like genuinely.

maybe i’m making a big deal out of this. but i thought i might as well nip it in the bud before it turns into something more. stop harassing me , ‘loonyformoony81’ !! i have blocked you ! thank you and please leave me alone !!

#fandom wank #fandom etiquette #marauders fandom #just a small girl in my small corner of the internet #plus not 2 say that you could’ve literally left a polite ask for this #so so so many different ways to put this nicely #cannot fucking believe this #please please don’t do this again I’m literally on my hands and knees begging you #and also - the fact that you read all 13 posted chapters that you left a comment #that you didn’t just press exit just tell me you’re in love with me already ????#pls no one leave these kind of comments #discourse #harry potter #jegulus #fic : dead or alive

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rs-wonderland · 8 months

Note

Hello, here is my order, I see that I forgot to send it ay I would like a bit of anguish that ends in comfort :')), when orphaned mc fem realizes that her mother (the person she loves the most in the world) was actually not as good to her as she remembered now that she has grown, she realized all the negligence that her mother had with her , which leads mc to enter a state of deep sadness, just for pomefiore pls I hope it doesn't sound too harsh qwq have a good day and thanks for creating this blog ^^

"Whats wrong with Mc?" Epel asks as he comes back to his dorm. Rook and Vil were sitting in the living room as usual having some tea. "What do you mean? Mc seems fine to me." Vil said as he looked at Epel. "I don't know, she was acting strange today. She didn't really talk as much, and didn't want to go with me and Deuce to Sam's tommorow."

Rook and Vil looked at each other and than Rook decited to go and for a visit to Ramshackle dorm.

"I just think both of you are overreacting, there are fine. Probably just tired." Epel said as there were walking into Mc's dorm. "Weren't you do one that was worried most in the first place, Epel?" Vil said roling his eyes at him. "Its better to be safe than sorry my friends." Rook said as they were looking around the dorm.

"Mc! You there?" "Quit yelling so loud Epel!" "What else am i suppost to do?" As they were fighting, Rook walked up stairs to see if Mc was in her room. He stopt when he heard her crying. "Mc?" Rook said softly as he knock on the door. "It's us, Rook, Epel and Vil. We wanted to see if you were alright." After a minute there was no answer. Epel and Vil already walked up stairs.

"Is she there?" Epel asked softly as he stood by Rooks side. "Yes, but the don't want to answer." Vil came closer to the door and knock softly three time. "Mc? Could we come in please? Epel said you look sad, so we came to chek on you." Vil opend the door to find you on your bed, your back turned to face the door. "Go away. Im fine." You said with a sniff. "See, she is fine-" Rook cut off Epel in middle of his sentence. "Mc, whats the problem, why are you so sad?" Vil asked as he moved to sits on the edge of you bed.

"Its nothing, im fine!" You said as you shoot him a glare and then turned around to face them wiping your tears. "Well it doesn't look like your are fine." Epel said, Rook just roled his eyes at him and moved to sit on your bed beside Vil. "You know you can tell us everything, right? We just want to help you."

You looked at the three man staring at you, you know they were worried but- how can you tell them? Like guess what? The woman i thought loved me that i loved more than anything, treated me like shit!

"It-it's just not important, i am just stressed from school and-" "No you are not, we don't have anything for up coming week." Epel cut you off with his sharp words, that's it, you can't think of no more possible excuses. Well maybe there are more, but from the whole situation you couldn't remember none.

"Mc if you don't want to tell us we won't force you but- we are just worried. Did some students made you cry?" Rook asked his tone is lot more calm and relaxed. "If they did, i'm gonna kill them-" Epel's words were cut by Vil's dead glare to him. "No, no one from Night Raven made me cry. Seriousely i am just fine. I was just- remembering stuff from my home..." You said in almost a whisper, yea, remembering everything how it was, and it was not good.

"Sad memories, huh?" Vil said with a soft tone. "Mc what is this?" Epel said holding a broken photo frame in his hands. The one that you broke from anger that you had to your mother, that anger soon after that become unberable sadness and pain.

"Is that your photo with your mother, Mc?" Rook said as he looked at the photo frame Epel was holding. "You looked, happy." Vil turned to look at you, as he said with a soft and calm tone. "Mc dear, is your mother reason that you are crying right now?" The whole room went silent. What now? What now? What now?

"I- i missed judge her, i thought my mother-" you tried to say with tears in your eyes that were falling like a water fall. "I- i loved her, i really did, but- everytime i tried to remember her, now i realize that my love for my mother was one way and-" Epel hugged you tightly. You can swear that Vil let out a small tear, you hugged Epel back looking at the three boys. Rook looked at you in shock cleary not knowing how to react. Vil was no better from him, all tho he still put his hand on yours.

"Mc, i am so sorry to hear that. We had no idea about your mother." Vil said in a claming voice, it sounded like an soft whispered more. Rook moved to sit down beside you, hugging your side, it looked like he wasn't plaing to let go of you anytime sooner. "You know Mc, sometimes..." Vil said with a soft sigh. "Sometimes people we care about are not the one's that would do the same for us, sometimes we have to let does kind of people go. And let bad memories go with them too." Vil moved a lock of hair that was on your face with a gentel smile. Vil let Rook continue the talk. "But at the end, that doesn't mean we have to forget them. Most of the time they help us learn a lot, and teach us not to make the same mistakes again." You sighed, you felt your body weight shift from you, you felt relaxed.

"We love you Mc, no matter what. You don't have to hide these things from us. Bc we are always gonna help you work it out, we can work everything out. Together." Epel finally moved his head to face you and to look at you. It made you smile honestly, you were glad that you have three of them.

Vil joined the hug, all of you were smiling as you felt the warmt of there body's. It relaxed you, it comfored you. "We love you Mc." It was all they said before continuing to nuzzle onto your side. "I love you guys to..." Now you know that no matter what, the boys will be there as your number one supporters.

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funnymemesandreblogs · 1 month

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So I posted something about telling my friend I'm a lesbian some time ago and I must inform you of today's events. Few days/weeks ago I sent my friend, let's call her L, that I gotta tell her something but deleted it right away. Doesn't matter - she still saw it. She asks me about it the next day and I say I can't tell her right now but I will tell her after a few days/when I'm ready. Today, my fellas, we were ready to go outside. But I (as always) took much more time to get ready than expected, even tho usually she's the one that's even more late than me. Anyways, she came to my house because of that and asked me when will I tell her. But it was literally like my body doesn't let me say it out loud. I told her I will tell her outside so we went outside. First park - full of children, second park - full of children, found some benches and sat there talkin' bout some shit when she asked me again. I couldn't answer even tho I wanted to so I consitered writing it down but that would've been really weird so I waited a bit more. (I also was smiling awkwardly and uncontrollably, I just be like that when I'm embarassed.) I started saying some random shit about how it's not really that important so she better not be expecting something amazing but that it also could be a really big deal. L talked a while and when she stopped for a moment I felt that I could finally say it and was like, fuck it, if I don't say it now, who knows when will I so I just blurted out an "I'm a lesbian" in the middle of a conversation about god knows what. L then says that she actually expected that and asked me WHEN DID I DECIDE TO BE LIKE THAT, LIKE NOOO, WHAT THE FUCK, YOU THINK I WOULD JUST CHOOSE TO SUFFER LIKE THIS??? overreacting rn, anyways I explain to her I do not decide that and that it comes to me naturally and she's like "Oh, ok", and I. Think. She. Maybe. Understood. But I was so fucking wrong. L said "I support you (amazing, right, that's what I thought, too) BUT I DO NOT SUPPORT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU'RE MY FRIEND SO YOU ARE AN EXEMPTION." I was sad, also she will probbably have the best reaction out of all my friends so I. Am. Fucked.

Some time passed and she asks me, how did you think I would react?

Me: ...

I actually thought you'd react exactly like this.

L: Yeah, I think I reacted too casually/relaxed.

Me: [?????? what the fuck]

Haha, not really..

L: What do you mean? See how relaxed I am? [points at her way of sitting]

Me: Yeahh, but... (mumbling some random shit because I'm too sad and overwhelmed to even tell her about what I don't like.)

L: How do you think P (other friend) will react?

Me: I guess same as you.

L: When will you tell her?

Me: I don't know, probbably after a few weeks (definitely not, lol).

L: Any crushes??

Me: Nope. (Even tho I like this one girl soo much but I know L hates her.)

I am sorry. This post is so messed up and makes no goddamn sense, especially now at the end, but that was literally our conversation till P came so I guess it's okay. Also, my whole class thinks LGBTQ+ people are mentally sick but I'm still in a better position than some other people because she didn't discriminate me (even tho she will probbably soon). :D, bye my dear gay stranger, hope you enjoyed and didn't suffer much in life or through this post, :D

#funny #lol #funny post #lesbian #lgbt #lol memes #funny content #lgbtq #funny memes #meme #i am sorry #sorry #gay #sexuality #lgb #lgbtqi #lgbtqia #lgbt community #support your fellas #:D

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footballfanficwriter · 10 months

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Fights turns into nightmares

Summary:where Jude and the reader get into a fight

"Why do you always pester me Jude"

"I'm not, I'm just asking questions"

"Why do you not trust me, I promise you it was nothing"

"It didn't look like nothing y/n he had his hands all over you"

"Yeah but I stopped him from touching me"

"You looked like you enjoyed it"

"If I enjoyed it I wouldn't have stopped him"

" it still happened though and I'm not happy about it"

"Did you think I was happy when I saw that girl's hands all over you huh?"

"That was nothing"

"Exactly, just like this event that took place it was nothing"

"But it's different"

"How is it different"

" because he could easily take advantage of you"

"Yeah but he didn't"

"But he could've"

"Jude, you're overeating"

"I'm not overreacting"

"For goodness sake Jude stop, what is the matter huh?, it seems like you've got a problem with everything I do nowadays, if it's not me cooking then it's the fact that I forgot to fold the laundry, if it's not that then it's me not spending time with you, what do you want from me?"

"I want you too do the things you're suppose to do"

"Oh yeah and what is that exactly"

"I bring most of the income in this family, I pay a huge amount of money to sustain our way of living"

"Really is that what we're doing now, comparing our salaries?"

"Mine is higher than yours, so yeah"

"Ok, the reason why I forgot to fold the laundry, cook and spend time with you is because, I've had a shit ton of work that needed to be done, I get pressured and stressed by my boss then I come back home to a person whose upset with me, it's not fair Jude"

"I get stressed as well, you know"

"That, that right there is why I can't approach you anymore and am scared to Express my feelings ,you always turn the conversation back to you and make it about yourself"

"All I said was that I get stressed as well, what am i not allowed to be stressed?"

"That's not what I'm say"

"Then what are you saying"

"I'm saying that when you feel stressed or when you feel down, I always comfort and make sure you feel better about yourself, but when the shoe is on the other foot, you can't do the same"

"How am I suppose to comfort you, if I don't know you need comforting"

"Well maybe if you asked me how I am, you'd know, everytime I try and tell you about my feelings, you always shut me down"

"WELL, QUIET FRANKLY I DON'T CARE, I'M TIRED OF YOU, YOU AND YOUR FEELINGS"

There's a silence between us and I look at him with a hurt expression and he looks at me with a shocked one

"Babe I-I didn't mean it, that's not what I meant to sa-" he tries to step closer to me and I pull back

" yeah but you still said it"

"Babe I didn't mea-"

"I think we should get some space from eachother for a while"

"Y/-"

"I'll sleep in the guest room"

I walked to our room and grabbed my pajamas and all the things I might need for a few days and went to the guest room

As I open the door to leave I find Jude standing there

"I'm sorry" he says

" ok" I say and walk past him

"Does that mean you forgive me?" He asks as I walk away and slam the door

I go to the guest bedroom where I do my night routine

After doing that I make the bed so I can sleep and get comfortable

I get into the bed and try to fall asleep, but recent events keep replaying in my head, preventing me from sleeping

After a while I find myself unintentionally crying not knowing where the tears have come from all of a sudden

It's been 2 hours since I got into bed 30 minutes later I hear Jude screaming from the other room

I quickly get out out of the room and race to see what's happening in the room

When I enter I see Jude sweeting and him tossing and turning and mumbling words

I'm frozen for a second but quickly snap back to reality and attempt to wake him up

"Jude"

"Jude wake up"

"Jude come on"

After not being able to wake him up I make him sit up and shake his body, all that seems to do the trick because he wakes up with sweat on his forehead , wide red eyes and heavy breathing and panting, just like a dog would

"Y/n you're here?"

"Yeah I'm here, where would I be"

"I-I thought I had lost you, it was so real it all felt so real"

"Well it's not ok it wasn't real"

A-Are you crying" he says noticing my red eyes

"N-No, I'm not crying"

"Y/n stop, you don't have to pretend that you're not hurting" he says

"Jude, I'm perfectly fine"

"No, you're not, I've hurt you so much in our relationship,that you don't even feel comfortable coming to talk to me about your feelings, I'm so sorry I truly am, and I didn't mean what I said, when i said I don't care about your feelings"

"It's ok"

"I'll do better, for you, it's the least I can do considering everything you do for me"

"Are you ok?" I ask

"Yeah I'll be fine, I guess it was just a nightmare"

"About what?"

"I dreamt that we had an argument, that ended up with you dead because- because I had killed you, I just I don't want to be a monster, I don't want to you to end up being afraid of me"

"I'm not afraid of you Jude, I just want you to be there for me the way I'm there for you, I know you're stressed with everything that's going on right now, but I feel like you're neglecting me or that you don't want me anymore"

"Ofcourse I want to be with you babe, i just never thought you needed all of the attention, you seemed to be doing just fine with everything happening in our lived, I just didn't think you'd want my attention and affection"

"I do Jude, I really do"

"And I'll give it too you"

"Thank you"

I get of the bed and start walking towards the door

"Y/n"

"Yeah?"

"Please stay, babe, please stay with me"

"Ok I'll stay with you"

I walk to the bed and get into bed and snuggle up to him and he puts an arm around me and kisses my forehead

"Goodnight Babe"

"Night Jude"