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lizard-shifter-noms · 2 years

Text

Still Subject To Change Chapter 3

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Chapter three already!

tomorrow is my bday so im going to post what the Cast of SSTC looks like then!

also i have recieved quite a few posotive responses and that just makes me SO happy!

thank you all for reading my story! i apreciate and cherish each and every like/ reblog / Comment!

i wish all of you a very wonderfull weekend!

also! Asks are open and Anon should be on!

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Some time passed, and then slowly there was something more than blackness… there was a slight sound… a very very distant thudding.

I frowned in my semi-consciousness… confused by the sound’s presence when just a moment ago there had been soft, fuzzy silence and comfort.

I knew he was lying on the floor, and the ground was a lot harder than the dirt in the forest.

My blue eyes flickered open to gray dimness, black pupils immediately dilating and constricting to adjust to the scarce light, okay… so what was going on?

My thoughts were confused, and I didn't seem to have the capability to move just yet… So… That noise?

A little voice of reason in the back of my head spoke out, ‘that’s your heartbeat genius’.

Okay… so i was alive then… or at least… I felt like I was…

Another couple of minutes passed before i regained the ability to move, and i sat up very slowly,

putting a hand to the back of my head and rubbing my scalp, trying to recall what had landed me wherever I was now.

Then in a flash I remembered what had happened.

Oh Fuck.

Well one thing after the other, so where the hell was i?

Firstly I seemed to be in a circular room, the tower we had seen maybe?

Looking a bit more it seemed that the only light came from a window wayyy up overhead.

I couldn't reach it even if I wanted to, but at least I had some light to work with.

A ray of dusty light came down all the way to one of the walls and I moved to sit in the sunbeam, there that was better.

Scanning the walls a bit there were small doors laid into the solid Brickwork, about three small ones and one larger one where I had to be brought inside through.

Looking a bit more up I saw the ceiling way way over me, this tower must be huge!

And on what I assumed was an upper floor there were balconies built, still out of reach for me even if I jumped as high up as I could.

So i was taken captive, fuck.

I wasn't sure what would happen to me now, would they keep me as a sort of twisted monster pet? Or would they toss me into an arena to be defeated by a gladiator?

None of the options running through my head were very appealing.

I wondered what had happened to the trio of small humans that I had tagged along with and hoped they were alright.

I knew at least Arthur had had a problem when I got shot as the last thing I saw was him tackled into the ground by five soldiers.

Before I could dwell further about the whereabouts of the smaller men though, The smallest door opened for about five seconds and an unconscious person was thrown in.

The person was facing away from me lying in a heap and looking closer was wearing the Kamerasca tunic, all other Armour had been stripped away.

Getting slowly closer I recognized the Blonde hair and Identified him as Arthur.

Of all the people to be thrown into my cell it had to be the one that had an inherent dislike for me, of course.

Still I wanted to make sure he was alive as sharing a cell with a corpse wasn't something I was looking forward to.

And I didn't really believe he deserved to die even if he was an asshole to me.

Not to mention Robin would be sad.

So I gently shook the limp form of the Guard apprentice hoping to get a reaction.

The thing I got was a pained groan and his arms twitching a bit.

“Arthur? Wake up, are you okay? You're not dying on me here right? I don't want a decomposing corpse in my cell”

My voice seemed to draw him a bit further out of his sorry state and he started moving to sit up.

I went a bit away from him to the opposite wall of the pit we were trapped in.

“Wha- whas goin onnn?”

He seemed to have trouble identifying where he was and I surmised he got whacked on the head or something.

“We got caught by Maringand dipshit”

He looked thoroughly alarmed by that for reasons that probably went beyond me, I hadnt really taken my time to keep an ear out for stupid politics when on the streets.

“Oh no oh no oh fuck I need to get out of here”

He was panickingly patting at the walls and trying to get the solid iron doors to open by rattling at each of them as hard as he could.

Did he have claustrophobia or something?

Well that wasn't really my problem and i didnt know what to do about it anyway.

He panicked for at least half an hour while I was watching in silence until he collapsed at the wall furthest from me to the ground, drawing his knees up to his chest, crossing his arms over them and burying his head into the hollow it made.

“What are you panicking about? If anything i should be the one to do that seeing as i'm a Bastard and you're not”

He looked over his crossed arms at me with a sour expression.

“You don't understand, they WILL kill me i know it”

Well that wasn't vague at all, i rolled my eyes at him.

“Yeah sure, i bet i'll die before you though seeing as i'm a ‘Monster’ “

He looked at me strangely.

“That's NOT what I mean, they're probably going to put on a show for your death, but mine….well it's gonna get painful i guess”

What the fuck was he talking about? Had he been in Maringand before?

Before I could think to ask him about it he had a Question himself though.

“How are you so calm? You know you are going to die and yet you just sit there?”

At least it was a coherent Inquiry for once.

“Well i guess i always expected to be caught one day, after all i was a Bastard living in the streets and i'm actually really surprised i made it this far”

He slunk back against the wall even further hiding his face once again.

It was true though, I always knew I wouldn't die of old age and likely be killed or die of some treatable disease.

Despite sitting in the only available sunbeam I still felt like it was way too dark here and something kept nagging at me.

“Arthur? Do you know what happened to the others?”

I almost didn't dare ask, as I was honestly afraid of the answer, I sincerely hoped they were okay.

“I think they're alright, Maringand doesn't really have any negative relations to the Kamerasca Citizens”

The way he said Kamerasca Citizens was a bit weird, almost as if he didn’t count himself.

“So why are you guys locked up? I mean i understand that they put me in this ugly pit, but you guys aren't even actual guards”

He shifted uncomfortably against the wall trying to hide his face even more.

“I'm Not from Kamerasca”

The quiet admission did surprise me, I had thought with how he acted absolutely loyal to Kamerasca that he was born there.

“What the fuck do you mean by that? Are you a Criminal here? Did you flee to Kamerasca or something?

He still looked incredibly uncomfortable and slid down even further on the wall, this guy was flexible as hell i noted.

“Or something is close enough i guess, i'm the son of a high ranking nobleman that was killed in a coup to take over the entire nobility of Maringand”

Of all the things I had expected it certainly was not this.

“What? You mean to tell me that you're a nobleman?? And thats why these fucks put us in this stupid prison?”

He actually seemed guilty for what had happened and looked like he tried to melt into the floor, wincing.

“I know how this sounds, but believe me i'm telling the truth, though I expected to be dead by now”

He did not have any reason to lie about Such a thing,

and why would he?

That’d be absolutely idiotic if what he said about the coup was true

then that just meant he’d put himself in danger by telling such a thing.

“I don’t think you are lying, it would be stupid to make that up and just put yourself in danger”

He finally looked back up from his arms.

“Yeah it would be, besides i'm an absolutely terrible actor anyways, basically everyone can attest to that, i wouldn't be able to act to save my life”

I realised that this was only the second time I had talked to Arthur that didn’t end in the use of insults or screaming.

Though looking at the dejected form of the human slouched against the wall I doubted that he had the energy to do so, and neither did I if I was honest, the sedative still made me a bit sleepy.

Before either of us could say anything more a loud Bang came from overhead, like big doors being flung open.

Looking up I realized that the noise must have come from one of the balconies, was someone there?

“WHY HASN'T THE BEAST DONE ANYTHING YET? I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!”

A loud nasally voice called from the platform, I couldn't see who the speaker was but I did hear other people speaking too albeit at a normal volume and I couldn't make out the words.

Glancing at Arthur I could see that he was looking up unconcealed dread, did he know the owner of the voice?.

As I looked up again I could see a face leaning over the railing of one of the balconies, the most prominent feature I could make out even from all the way down here were a pair of thick bushy eyebrows that had grown together in the middle.

To the side I heard Arthur start to breathe heavily, he likely did know the owner of the voice then.

The eyebrow guy's gaze seemed to bore into me and I tried my best to remain calm, just because I knew I would get killed here didn't mean I was going to accelerate my death by being an idiot.

“BEAST! TELL ME WHY THE MAN THROWN INTO YOUR CELL IS STILL ALIVE?”

What the fuck did this guy even want? Did he expect me to mindlessly kill whatever was thrown at me like a rabid dog?

Deciding to respond the best I could I also tried to remain as calm as possible.

I truly did not want to be seen as just another monster that they could put in shackles to do their bidding.

“I don't kill people, also where am I kept? I would like to leave”

I glared at him with a sour face making my disdain for the citation very clear.

The eyebrow guy did not seem to like that.

“WELL WE WILL SEE IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND ON THAT! YOU'LL NOT BE FED TILL YOU HAVE KILLED HIM BEAST!”

Before I could do anything else the loud man had already turned away out of sight and a few seconds later heard the door close.

“What the fuck dude, what do they expect? That I do what they want just cuz they dont give me food? Fat chance”

I huffed out and looked back to Arthur who had gone pale as a corpse.

He was shaking and looking at me with fear in his eyes.

“You- you're not going to kill me? Why? You hate me”

I was a bit taken aback by this, had he expected me to kill them the entire time? I tried to not let that hurt me but it still stung.

“No? Why should i? Just cuz i dont like someone doesn't mean i want them dead”

He curled up against the wall again, a sigh escaping his mouth.

“This is all my fault, i shouldn't have followed you into the forest i shouldn't have-”

“Shut up, its not your fault why the fuck would you have known what would happen?”

I interrupted him before he started swimming in self-pity.

He just groaned and put his hands over his face.

“I’m just glad that the others are fine for now, the Guards won't do anything to them seeing as killing Kamerasca Guards wouldn't look good for them”

I was relieved to hear that, but it still left the problem of being held captive.

“Do you have any idea how to get out of here?”

He looked back at me with a sad look on his face.

“No, these things were built to imprison dragons, so we don't really have a chance to get out unless someone gets us out”

This was built for dragons? Well it would make sense, seeing as the only window was wayyy up in a gradually thinning cylinder that was likely underground.

“So we're stuck? Unless they actually let us out, which i doubt they would do”

He nodded, still slouched sadly against the curved wall.

“Maybe i can make a deal, ask them to let the others go and only kill me”

I looked at him a bit surprised, he'd actually offer his own life in exchange for letting the others free?

And would that include me too? I doubted it because he didn't like me, and even if he did try it was very unlikely that those aristocrats would agree to let a ‘dangerous Beast’ roam free.

“Are you sure about that? You are aware that dying is permanent right?”

“Of course I do! I just- Im- This is just so dumb! I've been Terrified for like two years for exactly this!

And now I dragged my friends into it! I NEVER meant to do that! I've been always on the lookout for anything that could kill me, and then later for anything that could kill my friends! And I failed! Twice!

I hate this! All of this!”

Oh… a few things suddenly made a bit more sense now, he wasn't really angry all this time, he was afraid, afraid to die or that i would kill him and his friends.

And as is Human Nature they don't want to be afraid, so they get angry instead, lashing out at whatever they could whether it was at fault or not.

I had completely misunderstood him the entire time, he hadn't been angry at me, he had been afraid of me!

And I didn't really do anything to help with that fear.

No wonder he was such a Grumpy dude.

Before either of us could say anything more a loud scraping sound came from one of the Balconies and a wooden construction held up with rope came into view.

A construction crane? Why would they have that here?

Arthur had gone pale again, looking up with dread as a dozen or so Guards appeared on the edges of the balconies, all holding mean looking Crossbows that were aimed at me.

Would they just shoot us both to death? They didn't move until a wooden platform was panned over the balcony hanging from the crane.

A loud voice called out, once again I recognized it as the guy with the bushy brows.

“BEAST! STAY WHERE YOU ARE OR YOU WILL BE SHOT! WITH POISON!

AND YOU! ARTHUR SELWYN! CLIMB ONTO THE PLATFORM OR YOU WILL BE SHOT!

Ohh I did NOT like this guy! If I had anything to throw at him I would! But I wasn't sure if the consequences would be worth it.

Also the only thing i could throw were my shoes as everything else had been stripped away from me and i did not want to lose my only pair of shoes, finding new ones would be impossible at my new size.

As for Arthur he waited till the wooden platform was lowered to the ground completely before climbing on and looking back at me one last time, his eyes glazed over with such an intense fear like I had never seen before as he was lifted up again.

As soon as he got up to the level of the balcony at least six guards apprehended him once again and dragged him out of sight.

I heard a door slam shut and assumed that I was alone again, until I heard that awful nasally voice again.

“BEAST! WHY HAVE YOU NOT KILLED THE SON OF THE TRAITOR?

I SPECIFICALLY ORDERED IT! I EXPECT THAT THE NEXT TIME HE IS THROWN IN YOU KILL HIM!”

Despite having only had a few interactions with this guy i absolutely Loathed him with all my being and hoped plague would fall upon him.

And why did he think I would do what he said? Just because he had trapped me in this ugly pit didn't mean I would suddenly heed his words.

“Why would I do that? He hasn't done anything to me personally, and besides you're the one keeping my friends captive! How do I know you won't just kill all of us as soon as Arthur is dead?”

The face of the man turned a bit redder in indignancy, but otherwise he didn't dare come closer.

Coward.

“BEAST! HOW ABOUT A DEAL? I WILL LET YOU AND THE OTHER TWO CAPTIVES LEAVE THE KINGDOM AS LONG AS YOU KILL ARTHUR! THAT IS A GOOD DEAL TRUST ME”

I did anything but trust this loud bitch,

but maybe i could find a way to get all of us out?

This guy expected me to kill Arthur, even threatened me with starvation.

But bushy brows over there didn't know about my strange anatomy, no one aside from Robin did, so maybe I could put Arthur inside and let them think I actually ate him.

This plan was so batshit insane that it might just work!

The only problem was that Arthur didn't know either and would think I was going to kill him for real.

I wouldn't even be able to tell him in case someone listened in,

Besides he himself had said that he was a terrible actor so i made up my mind, as much as i hated it.

Now I only had to get Bushy brows to actually keep his word.

He didn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed so I hoped it would be easy.

“Alright, fine! But you have to swear on every river of hell AND the God Amesimos that you will let us go! Or that a hundred years of plague shall fall upon yourself! Also you will not tell the others about it EVER!”

I slowly stood up while speaking and watched with glee as his face went pale, probably seeing for the first time how big I actually was.

“BEAST! YOUR DEMANDS WILL BE MET AS LONG AS YOU KILL ARTHUR, THAT I SWEAR BY EVERY RIVER FLOWING THROUGH HELL AND BY THE GLORIOUS GOD AMESIMOS ITSELF!

AS LONG AS YOU NEVER RETURN AFTER YOU HAVE BEEN ESCORTED OUT OF COURSE!”

He probably thought he had a gotcha moment with his last addon, but why the fuck would i ever come back here? I knew I would be killed on sight then.

“So we have a deal then? Good you can send Arthur back i guess”

I felt absolutely sick at how his face lit up with a sick sort of glee as I had agreed, and I kind of hoped he would fall over the railing and break his neck.

I was almost relieved when his ugly mug vanished from my sight, but he returned a bit later with about twenty guards and a beaten up Arthur.

It seemed that during the short conversation I had with bushy brows they had had their ‘fun’ with him as I could make out a black eye and a split eyebrow.

At least it didn't seem like they had struck the wound in his side again,

rather that they had concentrated on his face as was evident by his broken nose that bled a little onto his shirt staining it red.

I winced in sympathy and realized if I had not agreed to this insane plan they would just have beaten him to death.

They threw him roughly onto the platform that they had used to get him up and started to let him down again, at the last fourth however someone cut the rope and made him plummet the last of the way down with a yelp.

He didn't seem to have been further injured as far as i could tell but i still went over to check.

“I'm okay… i think, everything hurts anyway so no difference really”

He got slowly up to face me and in an attempt to seem less intimidating I sat on the ground with my legs crossed as he slowly got up.

“How's your nose? Doesn't look pleasant to be honest”

I tried to stall for some time as I didn't know if I should tell him I was going to ‘eat’ him or not, but the disgusting gaze of the man with the monobrow was still burning into my back.

“It's fine, just a bit of pain, did they want anything from you?”

He wiped the blood off as best as he could and I noticed that he was swaying a bit while standing, did they give him a concussion? I hoped not.

But at least he seemed to have enough brains to ask questions, and I decided to answer as honestly as I could.

“Well obviously they wanted me to kill you, they even offered me a deal”

At my words he went still and looked up at me with a pale face.

“What kind of deal?...”

Oh i was going to hate the next hour i was sure of it, but i would do my best to explain without giving away to the sick fuck on the balcony what was actually going on.

Sadly this meant I couldn't tell Arthur that he would be fine.

“They said that if i killed you they would let me AND the other two go, as long as we dont come back to maringand of course”

It was as if someone had tugged a rug from underneath him as he sort of fell down to his knees in slow motion.

“Are you?- I mean, are you going to Take the deal? Because if so i won't fight you”

Of all the things I had thought would be the outcome for this situation it certainly wasn't that he'd just let it happen.

“I mean maybe? Why are you even okay with this? Why would you just let me do that?”

He looked dejectedly to the ground, seemingly trying to put it into words.

“Can you promise me to keep the other two safe? I always knew that one day they would get me, but the others don't deserve to suffer, can you get them back to Kamerasca for me?”

Wait, he'd just let me? As long as I promised to bring the other two back home safely?

I had planned on bringing them back there anyway, and if it meant this entire Bullshit would go over faster I'd gladly do that.

“I can do that, i'll even promise to bring them there myself even if i get shot at again”

He seemed a bit calmer at the prospect of his friends getting back home safely, but he seemed to still have something nagging at him.

“So- uh, how- how are you going to- you know?”

Ah this was the part i had dreaded, explaining that i was going to literally eat him alive was not going to go over well.

And how the fuck would i even start explaing this?

In the end I decided to just be blunt about it, no use beating around the bush after all.

“Im- im going to… eat you? I guess?”

He blanched at the words, gripping one of his upper arms so tight that I worried it would start to bleed, looking at it made me realise that there were some long healed teeth marks on his elbow.

Right, Robin has said something about that.

He was sitting on the ground paler than I had ever seen him before, shaking and refusing to look at me.

Finally he spoke in a quiet and softly dejected voice.

"What do you plan to do? Chew me to bits? Or snap my neck first?"

“Neither, I intend to swallow you whole. Alive."

He winced as I told him what I was going to do.

“That's hardly any better, i really don't want to die by melting alive but i can’t stop you”

Oh yeah i forgot about that part, It would be the first thing anyone assumed when told such a thing.

I wracked my brain trying to come up with something to comfort him that woudnt give away that hed be safe to the sick fuck on the balcony.

“Well, not really, you'd suffocate first before anything else happens so it would be more like just going to sleep i guess”

“How the fuck do you know that? Please don't tell me you have done something like this before!”

He was starting to panic again and i tried to find something in my memories that could help calm him down

Finally I remembered something that had happened when I had lived near the pier.

“Do you know Frog Frederick? The crazy guy at the pier that eats frogs to get high? I walked into him in an alley once and he told me in a drunken stupor all about it even if I wished he had not.”

I had moved away after that, next to the forest where i had stayed there till i fell onto this stupid Bracelet.

“I actually do, i had to arrest him once, crazy guy”

He seemed to be a bit more at ease now after I told him why I knew such a thing.

Well as at ease as one can be when facing the prospect of being eaten alive at least.

He was however still shaking like a leaf and pale like a corpse, anticipating a death that wouldn't really come.

“We can't stall this forever can we? As much as i'd like to, i think if we take any longer they will just shoot both of us to death”

He shakily nodded, sighing.

“Alright just… get it over with i guess, i won't move”

I put my hand down in front of him so he could climb on.

He stared at it for a good few seconds seemingly not comprehending that he could just climb into my palm before he closed his eyes and stepped on.

Using my other hand to stabilize him I carefully raised him to be level with my face.

I noticed that he had shut his eyes as tight as possible and was breathing hard, trying not to panic and shaking like it was the middle of winter.

“It'll be okay i won't hurt you don't worry”

I tried to reassure him the best I could before I put him in my mouth.

Swallowing once took him to the back of my throat and I shifted my jaw a few times, sighing before I swallowed again.

Throughout all of this Arthur had been remarkably calm and I didn't know if he had passed out or not, but a slight shift of his arms proved that he was still conscious.

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Arthur was shoved head first into Donovan's mouth, past the pearly white teeth and a swallow sounded around him, dragging him along the weirdly bumpy texture of the tongue to the back of the throat.

He could feel as Donovan opened and closed his jaws a few times,

Likely preparing to swallow again.

Arthur could feel the air push against him as Donovan let out a sigh,

The air swirling past him out of the mouth he was in.

Then a loud GLRK sounded, taking him down most of the way.

Arthur could feel what he assumed to be Donovan’s hand press in against the throat as he went down.

He could hear the giant’s heart beating loudly as he passed it and it took everything in him not to move.

One last swallow and Arthur flopped out into an open space leaving him the one option it is.

This is not a place he imagined he’d actually end up being in, at least in one piece.

Arthur stayed still, trying his hardest not to move until he curled around himself, shaking.

He could feel the fleshy walls shift around him as the Giant breathed in and out.

He wanted to scream and hit and kick at the slowly rippling walls,

but he had said he wouldn't move, so he'd try his best to keep still.

If he could keep his friends safe in exchange for this nightmare he would stay here, even if it meant his own death

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After Arthur had slipped away from my hands I could feel him enter my pouch, I could tell he was shaking really badly and I wished to be able to do nothing more than comfort the trembling form and tell him he wasn't gonna die.

But I couldn't, not with an entire army watching, not to mention the bushy eyebrows guy was leaning over the railing again.

He had a sick sort of elation on his face at seeing me devour Arthur and I wanted nothing more than to punch his face in.

“WELL DONE BEAST! YOU SHALL BE RELEASED TOMORROW! UNTIL THEN YOU SHALL BE WATCHED! TO ENSURE THAT HE IS TRULY DEAD!”

God i hated this prick and wished him an untimely and absolutely stupid death.

Hearing him laugh in his ear paining nasally voice I Punched the wall next to me with a loud Boom that shook the balconies overhead, making him and a few soldiers yelp in alarm.

“Your highness! Are you alright?’”

Wait, that was the King??? Oh fuck i was lucky that he had agreed to let me and the other two go tomorrow.

But I hadn't expected the guy with the bushy eyebrows to be the king,

he just didn't look like it, but that was probably because he wasn't wearing a crown the times i saw him.

Well aware that I was being watched from who knew where I sat back against the wall near where the sun was shining in.

Drawing my legs up I put my hands over my middle where the still trembling form of Arthur currently resided.

I had to applaud him though, he had been refraining from struggling or screaming this entire time.

He certainly was a brave man, I was pretty sure I would be screaming in such a situation.

Putting my hand directly over my pouch I could even feel him breathe, he was taking slow shaky breaths apparently trying not to cry.

I felt worse than ever and I couldn't even tell him he'd be fine! If word got out to the king I'd be shot dead immediately!

I tried my best to comfort him still, rubbing softly at him through the walls of my pouch where he lay.

I stopped after hearing him let out a quiet sob.

I hated this, hated it a lot actually and wanted time to go over faster so we could leave and finally tell him that he's not in danger.

He was still trembling and it made me feel even more worse the more this went on but I didn't dare speak.

Trying to think of something else to calm him down as attempting to rub at him hadn't helped in the least i started holding my own breath.

He got the same air supply as me, so if I were to hold my breath long enough he would get drowsy from lack of oxygen and fall asleep.

It might be mean to do such a thing but being in a constant state of terror couldn't be good for his brain.

I was really glad I could hold my breath for quite some time, about five minutes if I recalled correctly, enough time for Arthur to start slumbering the time he was stuck there away.

And I was right, it only took him three minutes to stop shaking and fall asleep.

So now i was sitting in this stupid pit with only the sleeping form of Arthur to keep me company, which was honestly rather boring.

However I would not try to make smalltalk with one of the Guards that without a doubt would shoot me immediately if they were allowed to do so.

We were leaving as soon as possible anyways so it would be pretty pointless to do such a thing.

Sliding down against the wall slowly so as not to disturb the sleeping Form inside of me I put my back against the wall, lying on my side and tucking my legs up, curling protectively around my middle.

I could feel Arthur slide a little in my pouch and I went dead still, hoping to not wake him up after he had finally calmed down.

As nothing besides slight shifting happened I continued to lay there trying not to think about how having something alive in my pouch felt actually sort of, good?

I shoved such thoughts as far away as possible, this would NOT become a common occurrence, after all as soon as i got those idiots back to Kamerasca i would dip anyway.

I still couldn't figure out why the thought about them going back without me stung, but I ignored it for now.

Laying like this and watching the sunbeam move over the wall I started holding my breath everytime i thought that Arthur was about to wake up.

Some hours later the light from outside vanished completely leaving me in darkness and with nothing better to do fell asleep myself hoping that Arthur wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night.

I was not woken until the next morning when I heard doors being opened with a bang from one of the balconies startling me enough to sit up abruptly.

Fearing that it might have woken Arthur, I held my breath again as I heard the telltale clack clack of expensive shoes on stone walking to the railing.

Ah, it seems the king has arrived again.

I sincerely hoped that he’d keep his word and let me and the other two free today, but he had sworn to God and all rivers of hell so it should be fine.

I hoped at least.

I was proven right when I heard his Nasally and way too loud voice called down to me.

“BEAST! SINCE THE BOY IS NOW DEAD YOU AND THE OTHER TWO PRISONERS WILL BE ESCORTED OUT OF MARINGAND TODAY! AND REMEMBER TO NEVER RETURN TO MY KINGDOM!”

As if I ever wanted to come back to this hellhole, but saying that out loud might not be a good idea.

“Sure, i'm not keen on getting stuck into this pit again, so we will leave for good i can assure you that”

Standing up slowly to make sure Arthur stayed asleep, I stood in the middle of the room as the king called down again.

“BEAST! IF YOU ARE TO STRAY TOO FAR OR ATTACK A CITIZEN YOU WILL BE SHOT! WE HAVE PLANNED A ROUTE OUT OF OUR KINGDOM AND WE WILL LEAD YOU THERE! SO DO NOT WANDER OFF OR YOU WILL BE SHOT!”

Man this guy loved to threaten me with getting shot, and I kinda wished I could shoot him instead.

Ignoring the urge to punch the wall again I heard another set of doors being opened.

Turning around I saw that they were pushing the only door that I could fit through slowly open.

Peering into the dark I saw at least forty guards, all fitted with crossbows in addition to their normal getup standing in front of a slope that seemed to have been carved out of the surrounding stone.

Slowly going up the tunnel surrounded by armed Guards I saw another door that was also being opened the moment we came near it.

Arthur was still unconscious, and currently bunched up like in a hammock at the bottom of my pouch.

I held my breath again to make sure Arthur stayed asleep but made extra sure to not completely suffocate him, just keep the air low enough that he wouldn't wake up.

Watching the Doors swing open I saw both Robin and Rikaad on the other side, both surrounded by Guards like me.

Robin's face lit up at the sight of me and Rikaad looked confusedly behind me and around as if searching for someone, and I knew exactly who he was looking for but I couldn't tell him that Arthur was okay and with me, Within me right now.

And I prayed to Amesimos that he would never find out, he was an enigma as it was and I couldn't predict what he would do if he ever did find out.

It might be okay, or he could just murder me for doing such a thing i couldn't tell with that guy.

I knew as long as I didn't do anything bad he was alright but I didn't know how he would react to something like this.

Robin seemed to have catched up on the fact that Arthur was still missing and was looking around confusedly.

He even tried to get closer to me but was yanked back by a Guard and put next to Rikaad who looked at the offending man with the iciest look i had ever seen him have,

and even the guard backed off a bit as Rikaad stood provocatively next to Robin while Squaring up in front of the smaller Guard.

He really was a tall human, if i was still normal sized i’d definitely be scared of him.

I was also a bit scared of him as a Giant to be honest,

Those eyes still unnerved me greatly.

As I was being led out of the tower i noticed it was at the near the edge of the forest next to some houses,

and that Robin was right about me being tall like a house, i could see onto the roofs pretty well.

At the command of some higher ranking Guard we were all collectively herded along the line of buildings towards the forest.

If the streets weren't completely empty it would feel like I was being paraded through town,

but it looked like they had ‘evacuated’ all citizens for this.

One less thing to worry about I hoped.

They really weren't fast either and I had to slowly drag my feet across the ground to not step out of the line they made.

I really tried to steer closer to Robin and Rikaad but the Guards always switched positions with them so I couldn't get near,

and every time I did try they would aim their crossbows at me.

Feeling Arthur move a bit I held my breath again, if he woke up now and made any noise or movement that could be heard on the outside we'd all be dead men.

I felt really bad about doing this to him, but I didn't really have any other options, and besides it was to save his hide as much as mine.

I just hoped he would forgive me for this one day, but it was unlikely.

It was whatever, they would go back home to Kamerasca and I would have to wander the woods as just another monster if I didn't find out how to deal with this curse.

Noticing movement out of the corner of my eye I looked onto a rooftop to see a barefooted boy in tattered clothing standing there, he seemed to be not older than eleven or twelve, and surprisingly had pointed ears just like me.

Another Bastard, I looked at him in sympathy and silently wished him luck.

I knew how hard street life could be as an unwanted halfbreed.

As he saw that I was looking at him he made the thumbs up gesture while pointing to his ears and I gave the tiniest nod back.

He climbed over the roofs out of sight and I doubted that I would ever see this boy again.

But it was nice to know I wasn't the only one.

I noticed that the direction we were going in was towards the mountain and I guessed that they would let us go at roughly the same spot they found us.

Holding my breath again as I felt Arthur move I tried to get closer to Robin and Rikaad once more but stopped when some of the Guards raised their crossbows at me.

There was no doubt in my mind that the tips were coated in poison and I was not keen on getting shot, again.

Seeing the forest come closer I was actually relieved to finally be out of here and looked over my shoulder to see that the tower really was built to keep big Monsters in there with its thick walls and embedded spikes.

I shuddered and hoped I would never see this thing again, so turning back I instead focused on the treeline and not stepping on anyone.

Yep, still weird to think about that I could end someone's life with a single misstep and I tried not to think about it,

and instead just drag my feet over the ground so that if someone were to be there they'd get toppled over and not squished under me.

Reaching the Forest's edge I assumed that they would let us go now,

but it seemed we were still too close to their Kingdom so we had to walk into the forest even further.

I didn't dare speak out of fear that they would shoot me, but Robin seemed to have no such concerns.

“When are we there? I want to talk to Donovan, also where's Arthur?”

I tensed at his last Question accidentally squishing Arthur a tiny bit making him move more than before and I hurried to hold my breath.

He stopped moving after a few seconds but this sure had been a scare, if he had woken up and someone noticed it we would have been fucked.

I still felt incredibly guilty but it couldn't be helped, I just hoped he'd understand.

I almost missed the guy's answer as I was busy holding my breath and my attention was focused more… inwards.

“Oh you can talk to your big friend later ALLLLLL you want as for this Arthur guy? He's been taken care of don't worry”

I did Not like the condescending tone the Guard had used but I couldn't really do anything about it which frustrated me even more.

At least Rikaad was able to step between them and shot a death glare at the offending guard who actually backed up a bit.

We continued walking in silence,

safe for the Guards communicating amongst themselves.

I could feel Arthur lying limply against my insides, only moving occasionally and sending a thrill up my nervous system whenever he made a bigger movement.

I tried to Ignore it but since he was literally inside me that was near impossible, and I couldn't help but worry about the feeling.

What if that's what the Bracelet made me do? What if one day it urged me to eat someone for real?

Shoving these thoughts down I instead focused on the road so I wouldn't trip, and I could see that the tower was a bit further away now.

I really hoped they would just let us be already but it seemed that we were still too close to the Kingdom for their comfort.

At this point we had already passed the spot where I got shot at and were led even deeper into the woods towards the mountain.

Coming to a bigger clearing they ushered Robin and Rikaad to be in the center and threw both of them a bag, probably their own stuff judging by the clunking sound of metal.

The Guards still surrounded me,

but I wanted them to go away already so I could talk to Robin and try to find a spot where I could let Arthur out so Rikaad wouldn't see it.

Arthr himself was still peacefully asleep, courtesy of a low oxygen environment and had thankfully not woken up during all of this.

But I did dread the part where he would, I didn't know how he would react and it scared me.

I also had to fight to keep my hand from settling over the warm lump in my core so as to not give away anything to the Guards.

The Guards walked around me to stand at the treeline of the small clearing, I didn't move as I really didn't want to step on someone.

Suddenly a Horse came up with an ironclad knight on its back.

The rider removed the helmet and i could see that it was the king, nobody else had such a monobrow that i knew.

Did he follow us? I immediately became worried, would he tell the others that I ate Arthur? I hoped not.

The guards all stood in a line next to him with their crossbows loaded.

I had a bad feeling about this and I was proven right as the king suddenly had a wicked grin on his face.

“SOLDIER! AIM! SHOOT THE BEAST! I WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH A MONSTER NEAR MY KINGDOM!”

All the Guards suddenly aimed their crossbows at me.

I didn't even wait to see what they would do and Instead turned to run in the opposite direction,

snatching up Robin and Rikaad as I did so and getting the hell away from there as fast as I could.

Ignoring Rikaads surprised shout i just ran towards the mountains to bring as much distance between us and Maringand as possible making sure to not drop either of them.

Feeling Arthur start to move again I held my breath once more hoping that he'd fall back asleep even with all the movement.

It took longer than before and sprinting while not breathing made my lungs burn but after about three minutes he was still again.

I really hoped none of the others had noticed him squirming but gancing down while running showed that Rikaad was focused on the way we came,

probably looking for any pursuers and Robin was just Clinging to my fingers.

I ran until I could no more, occasionally holding my breath to prevent Arthur from waking up.

I didn't really know how long I had been running but as I looked back I could not see the tower anymore and it was well after midday.

I sank to my knees gently letting Robin and Rikaad to the ground while I panted, my lungs burned from running and holding my breath and I did my best to calm down as fast as possible.

I did not want Arthur to wake up now from all this, not now at least.

I was still trying to figure out how to handle this and having him wake up now would be extremely awkward.

Rikaad seemed to stand Guard and looked in the direction we came from.

“We should continue after you rested, then we can figure out what happened to Arthur and how to get him back”

Ah fuck i really needded to make a plan.

Looking at Robin instead to make sure he was alright too and I didn't grab him too harshly I saw him staring at me, or more specifically my middle.

While I sat there I had unconsciously put a hand over my Pouch where Arthur lay and I yanked it back, looking at Robin and putting a finger over my lips to tell him to never say a word about it.

He nodded but still tilted his head at me with curious look in his eyes,

i would tell him later what had happened,

when I got the chance to do that without Rikaad listening in.

Being hunched over like this made the weight in my core just a lot more prominent as Arthur was lying on what was previously the front wall.

Getting up again and holding my breath anew even if I still felt like I needed more time to rest.

And feeling Arthur slide around in my pouch when I was hunched over was a bit weird.

I wanted to go as far away as possible as fast as possible from that place so I forced myself to continue on.

“Alright let's go i want to never go near that hellhole again we can worry about Arthur when i'm sure i wont get shot again”

I slowly stood up and went to walk even more towards the mountain.

I was glad that riding on horseback through the woods was not a good idea, otherwise we'd have to worry about that too right now.

Holding my breath again I went in the direction of the mountains in a straight line, not like there were any roads here anyway.

Robin scrambled after me and Rikaad started to walk faster too to keep up.

“It is going to be dark soon we should look for a campsite if possible”

At Rikaads words i looked around, it was indeed getting darker, how long had i been running? No matter right now I needed to get Arthur out without the others or at least Rikaad noticing and I still didn't have a plan on how to do that.

So we ended up setting up a temporary camp near a river, still far enough to not be able to see said river but close enough to get water, and I felt extremely awkward the entire time.

I had their Friend within me for fucks sake! And the only one that didn't know was Rikaad at this point.

It didn't help that I had to fight with myself to keep my hands from straying to settle onto my middle.

If Rikaad did notice my odd behavior he didn't say anything about it luckily.

I kept frequently holding my breath to make sure Artur did not wake up and hoped to God that this wouldn't give him brain damage from the low oxygen he had been exposed to for some time now.

The Dark came as soon as we managed to light a fire, the crackling sounds providing a soothing whitenoise and I finally got an idea as I saw in the glinting light how dirty my legs had become.

And not just my legs,

everything about me was dusty and on some spots downright caked in dried or fresh mud.

So I stood up and on the other two confused gaze told them what I was going to do.

“I'm going to wash myself in the river,

stay here i don't want any of you seeing me without pants”

Robin looked a bit confused at first but then nodded,

motioning a thumbs up, he'd been weirdly quiet since the capture.

I would talk to him later to make sure he was alright but for now I had other things to deal with.

Rikaad just made a dismissive hand motion and instead focused on the fire so I left to go a good bit downstream, away from where they could hear or see me.

I went a good bit further than that to make sure that even if it got loud they wouldn't notice, which took about five minutes to walk.

I had stopped holding my breath while walking and I could feel Arthur start to move again as I took deep breaths to supply him with fresh air.

The movements were confused at first, then curious hand prodded my insides before he went still again,

not unconscious, more like a stiff weight that held itself and it seemed like he was terrified of moving.

I even heard him say.

“Oh fuck”

I finally allowed myself to put a hand on my abdomen and poked at him, receiving a surprised noise in response.

“Arthur? Are you okay?”

He shifted confusedly for a second before answering.

“What? You ate me, why would you ask that?”

He seemed still a bit groggy so I would do one thing after the other for now.

“I didn't really eat you, but can you tell me if you're okay?”

I was a bit worried over the fact that I had essentially kept him in a low air environment and hoped I didn't damage his brain or something.

“What do you mean by that? And uh… well i Feel fine? wait-”

He started shifting a lot and I had to bite back a pleased hum at the feeling of having my insides rubbed, I didn't want to scare him after all.

“What the FUCK! Donovan, what the hell is going on?!”

He suddenly was a lot more energetic, seemingly having figured out that he'd been in there for some time now and was still okay.

So best to finally explain this…chaos.

“First off you're fine! And you will stay fine! You're not in my stomach okay?”

“Where the hell am I then? You fucking ate me!”

Well there was the anger, but now I knew that beneath that anger was fear, so I would try my best to reassure him.

“You are in my pouch not my stomach, basically i have some of my organs doubled but not all of them work so you're fine and nothing will happen to you in there”

He seemed to freeze at my words, likely trying to comprehend what I just told him.

Then I felt an indignant kick against my insides.

“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS SOONER!”

Now he really was angry instead of afraid and I sighed.

“I literally couldn't! Not with that Monobrow guy listening in! He would have killed us both!

Besides You said yourself that you couldn't act to save your life!

I'm sorry that I had to do this but it's better than death isn't it?”

He seemed to calm down at my words,

probably realizing that I was right.

“So wait, are we still in the tower or why are you suddenly talking to me? And how did you manage to keep me asleep during all of this???”

At least those two questions were easy to answer but I hoped he wouldn't get angry again at hearing that I had deprived him of air.

“We are not in the tower anymore, i got us as far away as possible when we got out, as for keeping you asleep well uh-

I just held my breath so you'd get less air?”

He didn't kick or punch me, instead he just flopped backwards against the walls of my pouch.

“You know what, okay why not? Are at least Robin and Rikaad okay? Wait, do they know I'm in here?”

I decided to try and answer the questions in the order I heard them.

“The others are okay, they are at out camp a bit away and no the don't know where you are, at least Rikaad doesn't, and i'd appreciate it if you'd never tell them about this,

i'm not keen on getting stabbed by Rikaad to be honest”

He shifted again a bit and I had to suppress another delighted hum.

“So if we are away from the tower can you let me out? No offense but i don't like this and i never want to repeat it”

Walking a bit into the stream after chucking my shoes onto a boulder to keep them dry while he talked I could understand that he didn't want to do this ever again, so as long as he promised to not tell anyone I'd let him out as soon as possible.

“Of course I'll let you out just give me a sec, also can you promise me to never tell Rikaad about this? I'll help you come up with a believable cover story if you want”

Coming up with something would probably be difficult as he admitted to being a bad actor, so something simple would have to do.

Feeling him move again to sit up I walked even deeper into the widest part of the river, but the water still didn't go over my entire legs so I just stood there in the calves deep water listening for his answer.

“Yeah sure, i even swear on God to not tell Rikaad unless you tell me to, now get me out of here”

“Alright… try to go limp… i'm going to get you out now”

I felt a squirm of confirmation as I pressed in with my hand, and tensed up as I forced my body to throw up the form in my pouch.

Feeling something travel the wrong way up your esophagus wasn't by ayn means pleasant but I was used to it by now from the years of hiding valuables in there.

It wasn't long until I felt the cursing form of Arthur reenter my mouth and I plucked him out with two fingers,

dangling him over the river in the pale moonlight.

“Fucking hell! How long was I in there? And set me down already! I hate this!”

I couldn't really set him down right now as I stood in the middle of the river and he would get swept away by the cool water that flowed around my legs so I instead cupped him in my hands.

He was a lot less slimy than I thought he'd be but still needed a wash to get rid of the bit of slime that did cling to him.

“One second, unless you want me to dump you in the river, also how are you? Are you okay?”

I walked back towards the riverbank so I could set him down.

“I've seen better days to be honest,

and i'm sorry for what my uncle did to you guys”

Setting him down slowly onto the rocky dirtshore I went to wring out the hem of my shirt that had gotten wet when I bent over to get Arthur out before what he said registered in my brain.

“That Was Your Uncle??? What? Wait a sec, if that guy is your uncle then-”

He interrupted me before I could say another word.

“Yes my dad was the King,

but frankly i didn't really know him aside from when i had to stand at his side during some stupid events,

and no im not sad that hes dead i never cared about being some stupid royalty, at least i wasn't inbred like some of my other relatives”

He seemed to shudder at the last bit and not entirely from the cold.

“I thought Winton had told you who i am, ah fuck, how about you don't tell anyone about my royalty status and i keep quiet about the pouch thing okay?”

This did seem like a good deal but one thing confused me.

“Deal! Though, Who the fuck is Winton? Is that the monobrow guy? Don't tell me That ugly fuck is your uncle”

He flopped over into the mud of the riverbank groaning.

“Yes he is, i like to pretend that he's not though, i hate him”

That was completely understandable,

I had only been around that guy for about a day and I already despised him as much as physically possible.

Though now we needed to come up with a reason as to why Arthur wasn't kept captive anymore.

“So, any idea for a cover story? You know Maringand better than me”

He flopped onto his back in the dirt sighing.

“I'll just tell them i escaped through the sewers, as disgusting as it is it's believable enough and they probably won't ask for details”

That sounded good enough, I knew I wouldn't ask how someone crawled through a sewer, or at least not expect them to answer it.

“So can we go back now? I want to actually see Robin and Rikaad again”

That would be nice, but suddenly coming back with Arthur might be a bit suspicious, there was no way he would have kept up with us,

especially since he had way shorter legs than I did and I had done an Adrenaline fueled sprint away from Maringand.

“Not a good idea, you suddenly turning up this fast is going to raise questions so maybe not today, ehh Night i mean”

It would be even better if he backtracked a bit so when Rikaad would usher us back to get him we'd ‘meet’ him on the way.

“Maybe even backtrack a bit?

Rikaad is going to go back to get you anyway so if you go back a bit we meet you there and it's more believable”

He slowly sat up, now having mud stuck to the back of his shirt and put a hand over his face.

“Yeah that is a plan, not one im looking forward to but im not going to admit that i was eaten and didn't even do anything to stop you, that's just awkward and kinda embarrassing”

At least he shared my view on that point, so I went to sit next to him in the mud.

I would wash that anyway so I wasn't concerned with getting it even dirtier.

“Well you better get moving then, you have to go downstream basically and a bit to the right”

I pointed to where he had to go and he slowly stood up and started walking, even if his legs seemed to be moving a bit weirdly, they probably fell asleep in the time he didn't use them.

I was right in my guess as Arthur actually did comment on it.

“Dude my legs are wonky, how long was I in there?

no wait don't answer I don't wanna know that,

see you and the others tomorrow?”

The last part went an octave higher and I could clearly see that he was worried but did not want to show it.

Instead he started to walk through the woods and I hoped that I hadn't just made a mistake, after all the woods were still dangerous and now he was unarmed.

I REALLY hoped I hadn't made an irreversible error but he was already out of sight so I went back to striding into the river,

planning to finally get all the dirt out of my shirt and pants.

The cool water felt Pleasant against my sore legs and while I just let the stream wash away the mud on my pants I took my shirt off and swirled it in the water a few times to get everything out.

Dragging the now heavier shirt out of the water i wrung it out a few times before realizing that if i put it on again i'd likely get a cold or something,

So the shirt had to stay off until it was dried.

Ah Fuck.

That ment i had to go back to the camp shirtless and try to dry it against the comparatively small fire we had.

I hoped no one would take offense to the fact that my top half was naked, but knowing Robin he'd more likely ask about my scars than complain about me missing my shirt.

Standing on the riverbank I wrung out my pants as best as I could while wearing them and slipped my shoes back on as started to walk back, trying all the while to wring out my shirt as best as I could so it would dry faster.

I returned to a happily flickering fire and saw Rikaad inspecting Robin's face, apparently checking for bruises.

I realized with a pang that I might be too big to see small injuries, at least Rikaad was here to assess them.

Upon hearing me come back two heads simultaneously looked at me but Rikaad went back to checking Robin over who grinned at me.

Something was wrong with his teeth but I couldn't figure out what, I was too far away and probably too big too.

I sat next to the fire and put my shirt as close as I dared, I didn't want it catching on fire after all, then gave a worried look over to Robin.

“Are you alright? You've been weirdly quiet since we left Maringand”

He motioned for me to get closer and I bent down to be more at eye level for him.

He showed off his teeth and I finally saw what was wrong, the tooth behind his left canine had a small piece missing making his canine appear far more pronounced, like a fang.

No wonder he's been so quiet that must have been painful.

“How did that happen? Are you okay? Does it hurt?”

He shook his head, making his ginger locks bounce around his skull.

“I'm fine, one of the Maringand Guards told me to shut up and hit my teeth, but that aside where did your shirt go??”

I was glad he seemed to be okay and gestured vaguely to the shirt lying next to the fire.

“I'm letting it dry before putting it back on, not keen on a cold out here”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Rikaad nodding.

“A good idea, though we should rest soon i will take first watch”

He did have a point in that, we really should sleep soon and i could put my shirt back on tomorrow as embarrassing as them seeing my scars was i wouldn't risk a sickness right now.

“Is that where your kidney is missing?”

I flinched a bit at the question, it seemed Robin had come closer as i stared into the Flames of the campfire and was looking at the pale line of scar tissue at my side,

“Yeah it is, i'm glad i punched that guy when i did or had have killed me for sure”

He seemed to stare at it a bit longer before his gaze became that glazed over look again for half a minute.

He snapped out of it and shook his head.

“You have any more scars? You don't have to tell me though!”

Well I did have a few more but most of them were from mundane stuff like falling off a tree or climbing into small spaces, though there was a long thin line across my back going shoulder to shoulder that I received from a blade.

I shifted a bit so he could see it and pointed to the pale mark on the back of my shoulder blades illuminated by the red fire,

giving it a strange orange glow.

“How did you get that one??? What happened?”

He was back to his blubbery old self, damaged tooth forgotten for now at the sight of the pale line on my back.

“Well one time a guard almost got me,

but i was a bit faster than him, and as i turned a corner i was suddenly bleeding from my back,

Then I looked over my shoulder and apparently that guy just fucking threw his sword at me”

“Wait what? thats so dumb though why would anyone throw their weapon like this?”

I shook my head at him as i didn't know why someone would do that either, it was a bad idea really,

Why risk losing an expensive weapon?

But that was in the past and didn't matter now, I was just glad that I had no other lasting damage other than the scar.

“Whatever, it's late we should sleep like Rikaad said”

I shifted a bit over to flatter ground and flicked some rocks away so I could lay there without having sharp things poke me all the time.

Shifting to lay on my side and facing the fire I settled down for sleep.

Feeling something move at my chest area I looked down to see Robin curling up next to my thorax, probably trying to steal some warmth.

He looked like a kitten next to me and curling up like this didn't help to get rid of the mental image, so I just left him lying there and put my arm as a barrier between the forest and him.

Having him die while he was lying next to me would be rather traumatizing,

not to mention if something were to get this close it would probably try to kill me too.

Settling down completely on the ground I closed my eyes and fell asleep basically trying to get as much sleep as I could before I had to take my watch shift.

Having expected to be woken up in the middle of the night by Rikaad to watch the camp i was surprised to find that when i awoke it was already morning,

confusedly i looked around and the first thing i saw was Robin still curled up next to me and fast asleep, the second thing i saw was Rikaad sitting next to my shirt and fiddling with the fabric, what was he doing?

“Rikaad? Why are you messing with my shirt? I only have one you better not destroy it”

I was still a bit sleepy and with Robin half leaning half lying on me I didn't want to move.

“I am not messing with it, i'm just repairing small holes so they don't tear”

He spoke quietly and focused back on his task.

It was weird, this was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me, so I better never tell him that I stole it from a clothesline a few months ago.

I was still a bit befuddled at the fact that i hadn't been woken up for a watch shift but looking closer at Rikaad he had bags under his eyes but somehow still moved like a man wide awake.

“Have you slept? Nobody woke me up for my shift watching,

don't tell me you were awake the entire night”

He shook his head and continued patching up my shirt.

“I couldn't, not with Arthur still back there, so i started doing this instead, but i do hope that we can come up with a plan to get Arthur back today”

Now I felt a bit guilty, I knew Arthur wasn't captive anymore and actually fine if probably quite disgusted at what had happened.

I was glad that today we would backtrack a tiny bit and meet him somewhere in the woods.

I really hoped he would never tell anyone that i ate him but i couldn't realistically expect that it would stay a secret forever.

So bringing them back to Kamerasca and then leaving would be the best option as much as being alone again pained me.

“Done, try seeing if the stitches hold when you put it on”

He held a corner of the cloth in my direction and I tried to take it without waking Robin who was still snuggled up to me.

Sadly I was unsuccessful and he woke up, blinking owlishly against the morning light and flopping onto his back.

“Ugh, morning”

While Robin complained about the sun I put my newly fixed shirt back on and was happy to find that all the tears were expertly fixed,

even the ones I had tried fixing had been redone.

He really was surprisingly good at this, Robin hadn't been kidding.

Standing up I just put some dirt over the still smoldering remains of the fire, I didn't want to cause a forest fire after all.

“So what is the plan? Just backtrack and see what we can do?”

Rikaad stood up and put his sewing supplies away.

“Ideally we will know what to do before we get there,

but yes for now we backtrack and try to figure it out on the way”

Robin immediately came up to me, looking at me with wide eyes, holding his arms up as a signal that he wanted to be picked up again.

Obliging, I cupped him to my chest and started to walk after Rikaad the way we came from yesterday, all the while on the lookout for Arthur.

I could hear Rikaad quietly mumbling to himself, likely trying to come up with a plan even if I knew it was unnecessary.

He didn't know that Arthur was fine after all, and I couldn't tell him, but he'd see soon enough that Arthur was fine.

I hoped.

There was the possibility that he had gotten lost in the dark or been attacked by another manticore.

Shaking such thoughts out of my head I continued to trail after the dark haired human in front of me.

It was funny, his almost black hair and well toned skin let him blend in near perfectly into his surroundings.

I was really glad that he chose not to kill me when we first met, which is also another reason why I couldn't tell him about the pouch.

I was worried he'd change his mind on letting me live, I somehow didn't doubt he'd actually find a way to end me.

Lazily walking through the underbrush after him I kept my eyes open for any sign of Arthur, or worse.

I wasn't sure that the Maringand Guard had given up yet on following us and I hoped I didn't have to find out.

Hearing something snap up ahead my muscles tensed, ready to defend myself before hearing a loud shout of.

“FUCK”

That was Arthur's voice! He was right up ahead and yelling at something.

I hoped he wasn't in trouble but before I could react Rikaad had already pelted over the ground in the direction of Arthur, hands on his sword.

“Rikaad wait! Donovan lets go!”

Robin tugged at my shirt and pointed after Rikaad and I followed a bit more cautiously, what if some of the Guards did follow us this deep into the forest?

But actually seeing Arthur was a relief,

even if he had somehow managed to get seriously stuck in a thornbush and was hitting it loudly swearing with a stick.

Rikaad had already begun helping him untangle and I set Robin down who immediately tried to help too.

“ARTHUR! Are you okay? How did you get away? How did you end up in a bunch of thorns?”

Robin was babbling excitedly again while worrying for his friend.

While they tried to get him out of the thorns by shoving all of them aside I decided to pick him up, lifting him out of the thorns.

“FUCKING- i hate plants im going to set this green hell on fire one day!”

Setting him down in front of the other two he was immediately tackled into a hug by Robin.

He looked a bit miserable, like he hadn't slept at all and being stuck in a bush didn't do him any favors whatsoever if the countless bleeding scratches were any indication.

“Im fine, im fine stop fretting about me! I just want to get as far away as possible from THAT place so can we move along now?”

He really didn't seem pleased at all and very tired, more so than Rikaad.

“How did you escape? Or did they let you go? What happened?”

Now Rikaad was the one asking questions and I nervously glanced at Arthur.

Robin however did look at me with a puzzled expression and then back at Arthur.

I twitched nervously, I hadn't taken into account that Robin could also tell about it, but when he looked back at me he winked and put a finger over his mouth.

Looking back at Arthur he was fishing some leaves out of his hair and then looked back at Rikaad.

“I escaped through sewers and no i'm not going to elaborate, it was horrible enough already lets just go”

He walked past Rikaad with his shoulders hunched over and a miserably tired expression.

Baffled Rikaad went after him and I followed, scooping Robin back into my palms and holding him against my torso.

“Arthur? You look tired, maybe you should rest? I could carry you if you want?”

At my offer he looked up at me with tired eyes seemingly taking some time to comprehend what I had said before he shook his head.

“I'm fine, I can walk by myself,

let's just go as far away as possible, okay?”

He continued stubbornly walking away from Maringand and was heading towards the mountains.

Weird, I had thought we had given up on going there, well the others at least.

It was still my plan to go there after I had dropped the small humans off at Kamerasca.

The thought of being alone again hurt more and more with each passing day but I continued to ignore it,

there wasn't anything I could do about it anyway.

Following him and Rikaad I made sure to not hit my head on any of the tree branches that were getting denser the closer we got to the mountains.

“Donovan? Do you think he's okay?”

Robin whispered from my hands trying to get as close to my ears as possible without falling over.

“I think so he said he was at least, im sure hes just tired and grumpy,

you said yourself he's a grumpy man so i think he's okay”

He didn't look entirely convinced but sat back down into my palms, lounging lazily against my fingers and watching the ground beneath him.

“So wait a second, Where do we go now exactly? I thought we would be going back home and not to the mountains?”

Robin did have a point in that,

i wasn't sure what route exactly the others wanted to go but i was pretty sure that Kamerasca wasn't in that direction.

“Well since we don't really know where we are and which direction to go to it might actually be a good idea going somewhere higher up to plan a new route, lest we end up in a different part of Maringand instead of Kamerasca”

Rikaad admitting that we were kind of lost wasn't what I expected to hear, but at least he was honest about it.

“So we are going to go higher up and see if we can find the way home like that? Are you sure about that?

I thought the mountains were dangerous?”

Robin was now clinging to my fingers again, he was probably a bit scared of the mountains from all the rumors there were in Kamerasca about them.

“It'll be fine if something does show up i'll just kick it as hard as i can”

I tried to reassure him while still trailing after Arthur and Rikaad.

Rikaad was trying to get Arthur to stop for a second so he could assess his wounds,

which consisted of multiple scratches and a possibly broken nose.

Arthur ignored it and just kept stomping forward and I sort of expected him to collapse at any moment now.

It was weird, for him to be this tired he really must have been awake the entire night and who knew how long he had been stuck in those thorns.

Rikaad suddenly turned to me motioning for me to lean down.

“Can you help me for a second? I want to make sure all those scratches are clean, we can't risk an infection out here and he is being stubborn, so could you pick him up for a bit?”

Nodding and setting Robin next to him on the ground I went over to Arthur and Picked him up.

Immediately he began weakly cursing and tried to kick my fingers,

sitting down next to Rikaad I held the angrily twitching form of Arthur in front of him.

“Calm down, I just want to make sure those cuts don't get infected, you said yourself you escaped through sewers right? I don't think a river bath is going to get rid of all of the nastiness from that so keep still and let us help”

Arthur went still at this, seemingly only now realizing that the story he had told would mean that he had crawled through some Nasty stuff.

“Ugh fine but i still want to put as many miles between myself and Maringand, at least i didn't have to swim in that stuff so just get it over with”

He went limp and I carefully set him on the ground where we apparently now made an impromptu camp in the middle of the day.

Robin somehow had found a lot of dry branches and was putting them together in a heap to make a fire while Rikaad pulled a metal cup from somewhere and instructed Robin to go fill it with water at the river.

While Robin did that Rikaad inspected Arthur's broken nose and dabbed the dirt away with a small Piece of cloth, much to the protest of Arthur who flinched every time it touched his nose.

I felt kind of useless right now.

I was too big to properly help while Robin could go get water and Rikaad was able to take care of Arthur's wounds, and I was just sitting here next to them completely unable to do anything helpful.

It sucked, it was really dumb that i had been struck by this stupid curse, and it felt more and more tempting to just try and yank it of even if i destroyed my hand in the process.

But there was no guarantee that just ripping it off my wrist with force would actually break the curse.

I might just stay a giant,

but then with only one working hand which Honestly was even worse.

Since I couldn't help the smaller men I instead went to be on the lookout for anything that would come near us.

At least i could help by making sure no uninvited beings showed up,

The last we needed right now was another Manticore thinking it could snatch up a human.

Luckily the only thing that came from the forest was Robin with the water which he put on the fire Rikaad had made in the meantime.

Seeing them move as a unit like this to help Arthur I felt kind of…jealous? No that wasn't it, it wasn't jealousy more like..envy.

I envied them for the fact that they had someone to rely on when they needed it, and I envied them for not having to be alone all the time.

I envied them for being human with human friends, something I could never have as a Bastard.

I hated myself for being the son of an Elven man and Human woman.

I sort of wished that my mother had never met the pointy eared man that promised her the world, and then ditched her as soon as he could when he found out that she was pregnant.

Well, lamenting about a past I couldn't change wasn't going to help anything, and at least my mother stuck around as long as she could before dying of typhoid.

Watching the small men patch up Arthur was even a bit endearing, they did their best with whatever supplies they had while Arthur looked close to nodding off after probably spending the entire night awake.

After some time they had patched him up as god as they could and put all of their stuff away.

Leaning down again after they were finally done I put my hand down on the ground as I was sure Robin would want to be carried again.

But instead of Robin climbing on Rikaad dragged a tired looking Arthur over to me.

“Does the offer of carrying him still stand? I think he might fall asleep standing up at this point”

I nodded and very carefully let Rikaad drag the at this point half asleep Arthur into my hands.

He really must have not slept at all since i had sent him off downstream, Rikaad hadn't either but he seemed to be fine aside from some darker circles under his eyes, he really was the scariest out of the three.

Cupping the tired form of the small human closer to my chest I started walking after the other two small men again.

The mountains did look a lot closer now than before our Capture and I hoped once there we could see which way to take to get them back to Kamerasca.

Until then though i would do my best to be helpful,

and for now that meant carrying a sleepy and bruised Arthur while the other two led the way.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

#vore story #lizards writing #v0re #soft vore #g/t story #g/t vore #extreme cuddling #fear play #fearplay vore #giant/tiny #SSTC #still subject to change #chapter 3

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cepheusgalaxy · 8 months

Text

Hi!

You can call me Lotus* or Cepheus (the name of my blog)!

None of these are my real name, birthname nor chosen name

In fact, I'm still in the process of choosing one

But both this names are hightly apreciated by me, and they both have very important meanings to me! ❤

this one is the picrew i used for my icon image

(*formerly Baakir. But I like this one more)

I have a lot of ocs and they are all introduced here

Welcome to my tumblr blog!

Intro:

Hi! I'm a transgender teenager and I love using social media to inform myself, read fiction works of writeblr and have fun.

What you'll find here:

Reblogs

Percy Jackson and the Olimpians stuff

Spiderman: Into/Across the Spiderverse things

Fanart

Artblr

Writing pieces and advice (most of those are reblogged) [x]

Whump posts

Prompts (whump and not whump)

Trans and queer stuff

Neurodivergency info

Brazil things and maybe some Portuguese words

Ocasionally, more stuff!

About me:

I'm AFAB and genderfluid, I am not from the USA and I am bilingual. I'm a minor, and I thought I was a woman for a huge part of my life.

I am brown, latin-american, asexual and neptuniromantic 🏳️‍🌈 I do not have any disabilities for as I know, and I'm a writer and a whump fan

Some of my content may get you unconfortable, whichever the reason. However, I hope you scroll thro my tags and see what you need to block. If anything you can always ask me!

Tags I mostly use:

Writeblr

Whump

Writing advice

Others art

My WIPS

Astv

Neurodivergency

Autism information

Trans

Art

Daily pronouns

Others whump

Favorite posts

Writing tips

Laugh tag

(Here is a post of why I may reblog and save some neurodivergency informative posts)

---

I am not neurodivergent, but I look foward to respecting everyone and being a good ally, as well as some of my ocs may have traits I don't know much about, so I may research

If I ever say/write/post anything offensive, please call me out if you can

Some of these things I research may be trigger warnings for you, but I try to tag everything

Warnings/extras:

I may not tag everything, (usually reblogs) and I may miss some tw/cw (trigger or content warnings), so if you notice something I should've added, you are free to warn me, I would appreciate much!

I am open to asks, and anon is always open. You can ask me anything! But offenses will be turned down ☃️

I'm in a different timezone (America, South Hemisphere) and I am in full-time school so sometimes I may miss some things (including asks)

There are things I don't know and I won't be mad if you correct me about them

I hope making this a safe space for anyone who wants to interact -- anonimaly or not ❤

This one is a post with a little bit of my culture, talking about a popular comic franchise around here. Feel free to check!

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botoberart · 1 year

Note

I am willing to take over the blog, I have very little relevant experience so if someone more qualified volunteers it should go to them, I just don't want this archive to dissapear. if you give it to me I would apreciate it if you also gave me some instructions on how to run it. thank you

Hi! Thank you so much! There isn't much to it: during October and a bit into November, I would just go through the #botober and #botober[year] tags and reblog everyone's art, tagging it with the prompt, the prompt list, and the date. That way if anyone wanted to see every "opossumsaurus," or everything drawn from one of the "meat" prompts, or every response to any of the prompts from October 1st, there would be an easy way to do that. Sometimes I used a queue, sometimes not. You would of course be free to use whatever system you like!

Now to figure out how to transfer the blog to you - I've never shared or transferred a blog before, but I know it can be done...

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the-little-shadow · 3 years

Text

A Piece of Heart without a Name.

Summary : it looks like [Y/N] [L/N] falls head over heels for a Dollmaker from the Beneviento Family - But she doesn't seem to return the same feelings. Now [Y/N] seems to slowly dying over The Lonely Dollmaker.

Warnings : blood, unrequited love, friend-zoned, A disease couldn't be cure, angst ending? (I'm still learning!)

Note : this is wayyy longer than i thought - i hope you guys enjoy it! Reblogs are VERY apreciated!

"Do you ever dream-.. Do you ever dream that we were meant to be?" - [Y/N] [L/N]

"She was soft."

Oh so soft.

You would. And you could hold her delicate hand everyday - eveytime, maybe forever. The way she smiled softly and sometimes shyly at you making you swear that your heart almost burst in a second. "What?? Why are you smiling so suddenly, Donna?" you ask while tilt your head, "my apologize (Y/N), there's a leaf that stuck on your head." she replied as she take the leaf that stuck on your soft as silk hair.

"Oh, you're right. Thank you, Donna." with that, you began to talk more about random things and make some jokes to let the young lady smiled and laughed happily at you - completely unaware your heart that beats very fast than the normal ones. Oh what a pure happiness this is.

"She was kind."

Good God.

You hope that everyone could see her the way you do, oh that would be so perfect for the young lady to spend her days with a smile on her face.

How could a person - who is very fragile as Donna could be VERY kind to everyone? Especially to you?

"Here, let me help you.." Donna said as she began to prepare the dinner and you wash the dishes, "oh- you don't have to, i can do this on my own.." you replied making the last beneviento stop and look at you, there- the soft smile you treasure so much. "Well, i want to. And surely, you do know that i will not let you do this alone, right?"

You felt your cheeks began to warm and the butterlies start to fly freely inside your stomach - how can she be so casual even when she listen to your romantic but not flirting jokes??

You're really grateful to have her on your side.

Oh little did you know, you wished that you never hope that everyone or someone could see her the way you do - maybe more the way you do.

"She was warm."

Just breath in and breath out-

As fragile as she is, Donna is the warmest woman you ever hug in the universe. The way she pulled you in to her warm embrace making you scream internally, the way she hugged your side whenever she's scared of her surroundings, and the way she hugged your back just making you nosebleed already.

"Boo-"

"aAH- oh god, Donna you startled me!"

She giggled at you and keep hugging your back while hiding her face on your shoulder. "Hey (Y/N), are you okay?" she ask after touching your cold hands, "hm? I'm fine, Just a bit cold here." you answered while making a warm milk for you and a black tea for Donna.

"Here, let me take care of you like you take care of me, (Y/N).."

You didn't ask for someone better, you didn't ask for a better life - this is more than enough. And you love it so much.

With that, she take you to the fire place and wrapped you up in a thick blanket then hugged you tightly with a beautiful smile that stayed on her face.

"And she was mine."

Oh how painful this is.

You hated this person so much, but you know that this person could make Donna the happiest woman in the world. You smack yourself for being too late to confess your feelings for her.

"A-amore mio, please stop-.. t-tickling me!" The Dollmaker laugh and beg to her soon-to-be Husband who is tickling her while showing his goofy smile, "i'm sorry my love, but you're now trapped in my arms Haha-" the man exclaimed happily as he attack her face with kisses.

Oh how you wish that you're him - tickling her - telling her that tou loved her more than anything in the world. Only Angie who noticed this, but she decide to keep it secret to herself - not daring to tell Donna through their own connection.

"Alright, Alexandro. I think that's enough, let her go - the dinner is ready, so we better start eating or there are no foods to those who's late!" you pat his shoulder gently not wanting to raise your voice at him - he smiled kindly at you and nod his head as he let go of his soon-to-be wife and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"(Y/N), i'm so sorry for not helping you to prepare the dinner... Again.." Donna whisper while fidgeting her fingers, Your gaze soften at the words and shake your head, "no need to apologize, Donna. I'm happy to help you - since you just got proposed by this dude." you replied while punching Alexandro's arm playfully. He just smile awkwardly towards you - completely unaware of your pure hatred towards him.

With that, you four decide to eat the dinner before the food getting cold. You can see the woman you loved since you two are teenagers are now talking happily at her lover - marbe she looks more happier than when she's talking with you.

Angie, who notice that you're not eating your food, she choose to sat on your lap and hand you a spoon without saying a single word. You shake your head slowly and grab the spoon from her wooden hand and thanked her quitely not wanting to disturb the couple.

Maybe- maybe you can destroy their plan? No. That will make Donna sad and hate you so much, what a pitiful face you're showing right now. Oh so pitiful.

"Now she's getting married."

Now she's getting married and you're not the one she'll kiss goodnight, you start to space out - thinking about the childhood moment you treasure so much with her. You and her were young, and you admit but you thought that this was it.

Now she's getting married.

All your hopes are buried - and you wonder if she ever thinks of you? First of all was ice cream in the park, and then you start dancing with her in the dark. Holding you close like she'd never let you go from her grasp.

"(Y/N)?? Hey (Y/N), you're spacing out again!" Angie hug your pants and you glance at her, "i am? I'm very sorry for making you wait, Angie.. Just got some stuff to remember here, let's go to the garden like i promised to you." you replied softly and pick her up. "You loved her dearly, didn't you?" The question make you stop walking to the garden, how- "i've been watching you, silly. The way you look at Alexandro for the first time with hatred explained everything! You grew more distant from Donna, and you even scribbled your own name from the book of you and her!" Angie answered your confusion and she cupped your cheeks with her wooden hands - forcing you to look at her directly.

"Tell me, why don't you just killed him? I'll gladly help you! With that, you can tell Donna that you loved her - maybe you can finally be the one who take her hand in marriage! Honestly, i'm not sure Donna is fit with Alexandro - because you're the one who always make Donna the happiest in the world before him!" Angie exclaimed, before you let her continue - you shut her wooden mouth and continue walking to the garden a little bit faster.

When you finally arrive, you sit down under a tree and adjust Angie to sit on your lap while watching the waterfall. "Angie.. You do know that i can't do that, right? I can't even point a knife at a person so easily.." You tell her while pat her head, "why not!? I can teach you, maybe i can help you with my friends who has a sharp weapon on their back!"

You let out a heavy breath and smile softly at the precious doll, Angie could see the sorrow and sadness that filled your eyes. There are no longer light of happiness in them. There are just some heavy- cruel despair that gladly engulf your vision.

"No, Angie.. Alexandro is the Man who can make her the happiest woman in universe as her Lover - not as her Best Friend. If she choose him than me; then that's her decision. All i have to do is step out of their way and let them be.." You replied softly making the doll shut her wooden mouth immediately; not wanting to make you more ... Broken.

Not long after, You start to cough violently making the doll panic and wait for you to ease again, there - a single flower petal mix with the thick and wet blood of roses.

"Oh look, Angie.. How pathetic of me; i got a Hanahaki Disease at a time like this? I thought it was just a story-telling or something like that- heh.."

"And i'm not the one she'll kiss goodnight."

"(Y/N).. Please-" the little Doll hug your body tightly making you chuckled, A doll couldn't let a single tear flow from their eyes - but you do know that Angie is telling you that she's crying by showing her movement.

"I'm sorry little one.."

↳ HANAHAKI DISEASE

Please.

Please, it hurts VERY much.

"(Y/N), please.. You must tell her how you feel! If you've been brutally broken; but still have the courage to be gentle to others especially Donna then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself!" Angie tried her best to explained everything why you must confess your feelings or how to do it so it won't ruin the wedding plan.

"Angie, Sometimes there isn’t screaming anger or endless sorrow or a hurt that shakes my whole being. Sometimes there’s just quiet. An absence. A refusal of the mind to acknowledge any feeling at all." you replied as you cough again then wiping the blood from your lips and keep all the petals inside your treasure box.

"All things are *cough cough* delicately interconnected." Angie was silent again; it's been a whole month before the day of Donna's happiest day come.

But now here you are; patheticly coughing some petals mixed with blood - barely breathing normally. And You keep growing distant from lady beneviento, not wanting to make her worry - or knowing about your feelings for her.

"I choose to love her in silence… for in silence - I find no rejection." You ended it with a goofy grin then look at Angie with a lovely laugh even though your lungs are in pain; begging for you to curing them.

"You can't have her but- you want her, right? Please stop trying to be funny; this is serious.." Angie replied while giving you a glass of water and you happily thanked her then drink the whole water immediately.

"Oh honestly, what i would give to sleep in her arms again.."

Silence engulf the room once again, Angie's trembling wooden hand hold your delicate ones again as she hide her face in your rising and falling chest that want to breathe normally. You stroked her head slowly - until a knocked making your gaze turn to the door.

Angie immediately told her little friends to clear the room and then she open the door. There - Daniela Dimitrescu, the youngest of Dimitrescu family stood in front of the door while carrying her romantic novels that she and you haven't read together. "(Y/N)! I've bring us the new novels~ as my promise that we are going to read it together!" she exclaimed happily while putting all the novels on the nearest table.

Glad thing that it's not a snowwy season, so she freely go anywhere - but she mostly loved to meet you and read romantic novels with you. "I'm surprised that Aunt Donna is going to married - i mean, i'm happy for her! I wonder how long i will be a lonely-lovesick woman... Hm~" she said while giving you a side smile. Completely unaware of your throbbing heart, dry throat and lungs that in pain. Oh you wanted to cough so bad - letting all the stupid petals out of your pitiful mouth.

Your throat is closing up, and you feel something rising to your mouth again.

You throw your blanket backwards in a haste and runs to your bathroom.

"Wha- (Y/N), Wait!! Where are you going!?"

You ignored Daniela's question as you turn on the lights in a second, and coughing, rasping over the sink.

And suddenly; Daniela burst inside the bathroom that you completely forgot to lock. As her golden eyes scanning over you and the sink - it went wider. "(Y/N)..?"

You smiled sheepishly at her and look at your own reflection; messy hair, pale skin, sorrowful eyes. Nothing special but a completely disaster mess.

"Well, i can- *cough cough* explain everything.. To you- but if you keep this as a.. *cough* secret." you replied to her dumbfounded face, when she nod her head but hesitate- you exhale and trying to calm yourself down as Daniela stood in front of you immediately.

"Hanahaki. It's, as you know, a disease that was first discovered in Japan. It's born from unrequited love, and scientifically, the roots are conceived in the heart for about two months. And the symptoms start." you pause, and glance at Daniela, who had poker face.

"And.. Yes; i got one."

"Then who's this person? Don't tell me..."

"Ye-"

"IT'S MY MOTHER???"

"DANIELA, PLEASE- NO!!"

----

"sorry, i was an idiot.." Daniela mumbled while hugging your fragils body, "i mean, you already are an idiot." Angie chimed in making The youngest Dimitrescu glared af her and you laughed happily at their sillyness.

"Let's just get back to the topic before Donna is going to pick me up from (Y/N)'s house!"

"So, is there a way to get the plant - or whatever it is - off you, (Y/N)?" Daniela ask while picked up Angie in her arms.

"Well, there is but.. " you hesitate, and Daniela almost shouts at you to hurry up because she wanted to help you so much, but she stays calm. "It's surgery, a huge surgery. And you'd forget how to feel, how to love. And you'd forget the person you're in love with... I don't think that's really a great idea, Daniela."

You hunched over, feeling your chest ache in a way unknown to you before, and you scrambled up to the sink just as another splatter of blood hit the porcelain, four stained petals greeting you in melancholic harmony.

Panicked, your hands are frantically trying to stop the petals from spilling out of your mouth, until your palms could no longer hold them, and they fell through the cracks of your fingers, all the way to the pristine floor. You could barely catch a breath before the next round hit you, and this time, you knew this was it. You could feel it, the flower growing slowly over the space of ypur heart, and sooner or later, it would be only moments until you’d leave.

Daniela couldn't do anything beside standing next to you while stroking your back gently - her eyes are filled with sadness and worried. She didn't expect that - someone like you - will gone, forever. She hated being alone again - she hate it so much.

You're the only one who undesrtand her besides her family, you are so preacious to her - so why you must leave?

Angie blamed herself for not helping you sooner, and she really hate herself for that. You wished you had more time. You wished that you could forget everything about her but you couldn't.

‘Sheesh; i wish i was beside you and hold your hand again, Donna.’

The day has come.

"She'll dressed up - wearing white."

‘While you wait for a wife, and now she's carried from the sanctuary then they drive her down the streets where you once held each others hands; talked about your plans, and dream about the places you two would go.’

It was hard to manage the fear of the end, and the inevitability of it, but somehow, you made it work. Pretending you aren’t dying from the thing that made you feel alive was exhausting, and now that you are hanging on by nothing more than a thread, you didn’t have to pretend anymore after this wedding.

"Sister; congratulations.. I do hope that husband of yours can take a good care of you or else- i'll sliced him to ribbons, at first - i thought you and (Y/N) are together." The lady of The Dimitrescu Castle said as she shake her hand to Donna's smaller one - before she can reply, you interrupted them immediately "well; i'm very glad that someone can finally make her happy beside me! By the way; are you nervous after you said the vows?" you ask while looking at her beautiful white dress that's so similar to Angie's. Oh how you wished that you're the one who take her hand in marriage.

"Yes, i was so nervous.. Do you guys think i look okay?" she asked shyly to her dear sister and her best friend.

"You look Wonderful." You and Alcina answered together making the dollmaker blush and cover her face with her hands.

Alcina excuse herself because she wanted to know where are her daughters currently - leaving the two of you alone. You show her your goofy smile like you always do.

Is it possible? To burn so brightly for someone, that you forget you are still in the flames?

You were soft in all ways a person could be; heartfelt smiles that felt like a warm summer breeze, a laugh light like bells, and company as rich as wine. You were everything that everyone - even Daniela - could ever wish for, but who’s to stay their wish could ever be the one in the million to come true?

I will be wishing you a life of everything you ever dreamed of, from my place in the sky.

And I think that’s the best part. That, one day, I’ll be a tiny part of something someone else will love someday, too.

"So if i had the chance, i would like to ask you for one last dance if you don't mind.." You said as she happily - without knowing your sadness - grab your hand and put the other one on your shoulder.

The soft smile you wished that you could see everytime you woke up.

The kindness that you wished you could receive everyday.

The warm of her touch that you wished you could feel every moment.

And she's the one who you wished to take hand in marriage.

Are now buried deep down inside your heart.

"Do you ever dream-.. Do you ever dream that we were meant to be?"

You know that you two are not together.

You know that you will love her forever.

Even when you're buried six feet under.

With that, you could see the shock on her face and a single tear that fell on her cheek.

She took a step back as she gasp and keep her tears flowing like her beautiful waterfall next to her estate. All you could do was smile at her and bowed, then you quickly run to your house - ignoring every call that you heard behind your back, especially Donna's screaming and sobbing. Begging for your forgiveness, Crying for you to stay and explain everything to her. But you couldn't.

You wheezed quietly, and tiredly watched as bits of sunlight filter through the small window, and just because you can, just because you believed you can reach it, you musters up the last of your strength to lift a hand, letting your fingertips reach the warmth of the rays.

"The sun.. And the moon, couldn't fall for each other.. Except, they could look after each other, right?.. But i'm not the sun neither the moon, maybe i'm just the stars who begged.. The moon to stay.."

Pathetic.

Pitiful.

This is it.

You let out your last cough and the last rose, all you could feel is pain. But, the thought of dying for Donna suddenly make you smile and started to shut your eyes slowly until the welcoming darkness letting you drown to them.

And just like that, the sun is gone, and all that’s left is the echo of everything you left behind. Completely unaware of Angie's presence or her tears that fall on your bloody cheek.

"You stupid.. -idiot." she cried and hug your cold body tightly - not wanting to let you go - she didn't want to believe that you're gone. Forever.

Lastly, a blur vision came into your deepest mind;

"Hey.. (Y-Y/N), when we are old enough.. Will you take me hand in m-marriage? I don't want to marry anyone except you.. You've been so kind to me and i- i want to spend my life with you.." little Donna said as she grab your tiny hand with her trembling ones.

"Then here, have a piece of heart - without a Name first. Because i don't want to give you a false hope; Donna Beneviento my beloved." you replied and smiled at her as you hug her tiny body - not caring about what the others talk about you two.

Goodbye, Dear Beloved.

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suchalonelysunflower · 4 years

Text

If it means a lot to you (a.i)

Pairing: Ashton Irwin X Reader

Summary: Songfic based on the song “If it means a lot to you” by A Day to Remember. You haven’t heard from Ashton in weeks, could you endure all the pain while he’s on tour or it would become too much?

Warnings: ANGST, strong language, overthinking and anxiety. Also some grammatical mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 2.6 K

Author’s Note: I was feeling so angsty today and this was the product of me pouring out my feelings into a fic. Reblogs, coments and feedback are always welcome and apreciated! I would love to hear your thoughts 💙 Hope you like it and Happy reading🦋

My Materialist

It felt good to be on the stage again. It felt more than good, actually. The sound of screaming fans, calling out your names in pure ecstasy as one by one the songs pass and reverberates throughout the whole stadium, or arena or a simple, yet packed, venue. The adrenaline that cursed through the veins of each one of them as they gave their all, feeling how the base makes the entire stage shake with rhythms they know by memory and would never get tired off. It felt good to be on the stage again, to be on tour again. But not everyone gets to have everything they want.

You were sitting on your sofa, getting lost in thought as the TV played some old episodes of your favorite show as background noise of your own pity party. It’s been two months since Ashton went away on tour with his band again, and even though you knew this made him happy, you always hated when he had to leave.

The feeling of loneliness crept in two weeks and a half ago, when he started to miss your calls and texted you only once a day. You knew he was busy, you knew he must be tired, but so are you.

You understand that this is his job, you’ve been through this before, but the separation was never easy. You always worried about his safety, how he’s dealing with stuff and if he ever misses you or if he had someone else he’d rather be with while you were away and tucked under your shared sheets in LA. He always came through though, pushing those thoughts away by reassuring his love, either by facetime or a simple call. But you haven’t seen him or heard of him in so long that you couldn’t help but drown yourself in a pity parade for one. You miss him, you need him. And it’s still so long until you could see each other again.

A notification on your phone pulls you away for a while, it takes a few moments before you realize that it was in fact your phone and not a trick of your mind. You jump right to it, thinking, hoping that it would be Ashton trying to call you or even a simple text. The beating of your heart ran like a horse before you could even register that it was just a notification from instagram, you just saw his name and quickly swiped to open it.

@ ashtonirwin: Thank you for singing with us xx

The post was simple, you could see the crowd going wild as Andy took a photo of the boys in their element. Ashton was smiling behind his drum kit, taking in the scenery of a thousand screaming fans that were there just to see them, to sing with them. And it hurt you.

It hurts not being there. Not being the one that was at the other end of the smile, and oh, how you miss that smile.

You opened the camera roll, forgetting to put a like on the post as your mind decided to add some salt to the wound. You scrolled a few pictures down until you found what you were looking for: A video of Ashton.

His smile was clear even before you pressed play. You remember the day he sent that to you, it was at the beginning of the tour and you were feeling a little needy, so he decided to send you this while you were asleep. He knew it would make you feel better once you woke up. And it did.

It was a simple video of him just talking to the camera, but it always made you feel better and you hope this time it will as you pressed play.

“Hey, darling” Ashton said with a smile so wide you could see every dimple and wrinkle on his face “I hope you’re good tonight, I know you don’t feel right when I’m leaving… It’s not easy for me either, being away from you and being unable to kiss you and cuddle you like we do. I miss you, dear”

The sadness in his voice moved you and you wished you were there with him, doing your best to push that sadness away. “Tour’s going great so far, I really wish you were here to see it. But you will be, one day and it will be awesome. But I can’t come back home till they’re singing, and oh, how amazing it is to hear them sing back at us, it’s almost as beautiful as to hear you sing to me one of our songs, even if it’s to mock our oldest songs” His smile lit up the screen ashe giggled “Just wait till I get home, baby. It won’t be long now, I swear. I love you”

“I love you” You whispered to the face on the screen as the video stopped.

The tears were rolling down your face and you couldn’t do anything to stop it. The video always helped to make you feel better but, somehow, it just made missing him worse.

It wasn’t enough, you needed him. You needed him and he was MIA, the only news you get from him are from social media and you couldn’t handle it anymore.

You couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same.

Ashton was laying in his bunk bed, smiling as he scrolled down twitter to read the reactions to tonight’s concert. It was one of their best and he was very proud of the energy they put on stage for the world to see.

He always enjoyed tour life, visiting new cities and countries every night, giving his all in all the concerts and spending time with his best friends. It was all he ever wanted since he was a kid and now he was able to experience it.

“Hey, Ash!” Luke called his attention from the bunk across the small hall “Could you tell Y/N that Sierra wants to talk? She said it was something about a recipe but it seems like she can’t get in touch with them”

Ashton frowned, you were never the one to shy away from their friends, always being the most social one of the two of them “Uh, yeah. Sure man”

“Thanks, and tell Y/N we are missing them, it’s been too long since we saw each other”

‘It has been a long time’ Ashton thought, or at least it seemed like it because he was sure he sent a text earlier today and…

Ashton’s expression froze when he saw that he didn’t text you today, or yesterday or the day before that. He didn’t even respond to your last text.

Y/N: Tell me something sweet to get me by.

How long ago was that? Why didn’t he notice before?

A feeling of guilt ran through him, feeling disgusted at himself for forgetting about you, the most important thing in his life. How could he? You must’ve been feeling low that day to text him something like that, he knew how much you hated when he had to leave. You didn’t text him after that, maybe you were okay now, but he still needed to talk to you, to apologize.

He sighed when he saw what time it was, now it wasn’t time for a facetime call, knowing that you were probably asleep by now. He would apologize to you in the morning.

Little did he know that you were still awake, sobbing and calling out his name through your cries.

You woke up when the sunlight hit your face. You furrowed your eyebrows at your surroundings, realizing that you fell asleep on the couch. Luckily it was a Saturday, so you had no other responsibilities other than crying yourself to sleep for maybe the tenth time in a row?

You knew it wasn’t fair, for you or for him, to be enduring this kind of pain. But if you meant a lot to him, why hasn’t he responded? or calling to check up on you? This place felt lonelier by the minute, his mugs were in the cupboard, some of his clothes were in the closet, his music room remains untouched and yet it seemed like he was never here at all to begin with, just a ghost of his memory floating around to remind you of what you were missing.

You felt the tears about to crash down again, but you had no energy left in your body to cry. You were exhausted, needy, lonely and down right miserable while the love of your life was living his best life without you in it.

Ashton was living his best life, but he still felt something was missing. He sat down on the couch the venue offered, it wasn’t as comfortable as he would expect but it didn’t matter. He knew he had to talk to you.

He has been a shitty boyfriend lately, he understood and hated that. You didn’t deserve to be pushed aside like he did and he felt awful. So, with his heart in his sleeve, hoping you’ll forgive him and that you were okay, he picked up the phone and called.

Ashton heard the beeping tone three times before you decided to answer “...Hey, sweety” You said with a sigh.

Ashton could tell you were sad, a punch in the guts hurt less than hearing your voice so small and defeated. “Hey, darling,” He said,making his tone a little bit more uplifting, thinking it might help “How are you? Sierra said that you weren’t answering your phone, is everything okay?”

Hearing his voice, his cheerful tone as if nothing has happened or as if this wasn’t the first time in weeks that you’ve heard of him, hurt more than you could ever expect. You felt silent tears rolling down your face as you contemplated what to say about that.

“I just-”

“Ash, we need you for soundcheck” A voice said on the other line.

Ashton raised his hand, annoyed at the interruption, asking the boys to wait a second. He needed to hear from you first. All three of the guys backed up immediately when they saw the serious expression on the drummer’s face.

“Sorry, love. I think the boys need me” He said, hoping you wouldn’t get mad.

“But, what about me?” You asked before you realized what was coming out of your mouth.

“What?” Ashton said with a concerning tone.

“I need you here, Ashton” You cried, unable to keep the tears at bay anymore “I need you here tonight, and I know that you don’t wanna be leaving and I get it, I swear I totally get it and I’m not trying to pressure you or anything, it’s okay that you want this”

Hearing you cry through the phone broke Ashton’s heart. He did this, he caused this. How could he neglect you like that?

“I want it but I don’t need it” He quickly reassured you.

“Yes, you want it. But I can’t help it, I-” Your voice shook “I just feel complete when you’re by my side. I know I can be needy sometimes and believe me, I hate that as much as you do, probably. But, Ash, I haven’t heard from you in weeks! Yes, a morning text now and then but sweety, I don’t think you understand how bad this hurts”

Ashton felt the tears burning in his eyes, your broken voice sounded like an echo in his head, making him wish he could go back and fix his mistakes, to take all your pain away.

“Do you know how hard it is to be in this house alone, not knowing if you are okay or if you miss me? I found myself walking around aimlessly, trying to hold on to the memory of you here, to even a hint that I wasn’t dreaming when I held you close because it’s been so long and I don’t think I can take it anymore. Knowing that you can’t come home till they’re singing, till everyone is singing back at you”

“B-baby-” Ashton said, not caring that he sounded desperate, because he was. He didn’t like where this conversation was going “Baby, I know I fucked up, big time. But don’t you ever doubt that you are the most important thing to me, I swear. Darling, if you-” He said, swallowing the lump in his throat “If you can wait till I get home, I swear that when tomorrow comes this will all be in our past”

You stared blankly ahead as you heard him say those things. It broke you to your core, but you knew what you had to do. It was the best for both of you.

“Ash, you know you can’t give me what I need. Not right now and I can’t ask that from you, I would never ask that from you and you know it. Even though you mean so much to me, I need you to be happy, I need to be happy and maybe we thought that we could find happiness together but Ash, this ain’t it”

“Darling, wait-”

“I love you, but I can’t wait through everything. I can’t keep crying myself to sleep every night wishing for a text, a call, a sign that you are okay. And I can’t ask you to give up your life just to be with me, we both know it’s not going to work and we’ll be miserable-”

“Is this really happening?” Ashton interrupted you.

He was pacing back and forth in the little room, tears falling freely as he understood the words you were trying to say. You were leaving him. You were leaving him and he couldn't blame you. He knew it was too much to ask but he hoped… if he had tried hard enough, if he hadn’t neglected you the way that he did and invalidating you by not acknowledging your feelings, maybe this wouldn’t be the outcome of his mistakes.

“I love you,” He pleaded.

“Ash…”

“No, Y/N!” I know, I fucked up but please! Please, darling, don't leave me” He begged “I swear I’ll never be happy again, not even if we stay friends so don’t even dare to say that. Y/N. I love you. I love you, darling. You are the love of my life and -” He choked, overwhelmed with grief of what he just lost.

“Ash, please don’t make it harder” You cried, silently as your heart broke in a thousand pieces “We knew it’d happen eventually”

“No we fucking didn’t! I didn’t! I want you in my life, Y/N. And I know I sucked at letting you see that but- I swear, if you can wait till I get home, I swear we can make this last, baby. Please”

You stayed silent, wanting to be able to believe him right now, but knowing this was for the best, even if it hurt, it’s what needed to be done so both of you could be happy. And you want nothing more than for him to be happy and free to do whatever he wants, even if it breaks your heart.

“Goodbye, Ash. I love you” You said, voice breaking at the end “I’ll always love you”

“Y/N, don’t-” He pleaded one last time before you ended the call “FUCK” He yelled, throwing the phone to god knows where.

He lost you.

Luke, Calum and Michael came running towards the room when they heard Ashton yell. However, they didn’t expect to find their friend sitting on the floor, sobbing as he started to hyperventilate.

“Mate, what happened?” Ashton took a big breath.

“I fucked up, Cal” He said with a voice as broken as his heart “I fucked up and I don’t know if I can fix it”

Part 2

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mytrashs-blog · 5 years

Text

Movie Star

Pairing: BFF! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Angst, SO MUCH ANGST, swearing, Tom being an asshole, there’s a mention of an injury...

Summary: Tom is your best friend, but fame can change a lot of things.

Word Count: 2,609 (Probably the longest one piece I’ve done)

A/N: So! This is an entry for @unholyhaz and @spidey-waffles11 #marvellouswafflescelebration writing challenge. I am actually quite proud of this baby and how freaking painful it is. I was having a hard time with the prompt because I kept wanting to write it the same way it happened in the movie, so yeah, I’m very happy with this. Enjoy! (Please if you do like it, reblog it so it can be read by more and more people).

Part two

(This pic doesn’t belong to me, I took it off google, but I did edit it a little)

You never thought your friendship with Tom would end up like this. Ruined. Potentially forever, and the worst part is that you can’t even be mad about it. He’s been dreaming about becoming big in the movie industry since you were like 7 and dancing ballet at the studio everyday, so him getting big should be something to be happy about, right?

Only it isn’t. And not because he’s always busy and barely even texts back, not even because he never has time to hang out anymore, nor is it because he seems to always be in the other side of the world either filming another damn Marvel movie or any other movie, or promoting his work. No, all of those reasons were not enough to wreck your friendship. What finally did it was the fact that he became so full of himself that you couldn’t stand hearing him talking when you did get to see him. He’s kind of an asshole now.

So you snapped. You were out in a pub with him, Harrison, the twins and a couple of your friends, Tom was telling you about how unacceptable it was that his manager tried to get him, to spend a night in LA in a 4 star hotel instead of a 5 star or a damn Airbnb apartment, how he was tired of this neglecting behaviour from a person that eats from the 5% of his paycheck, and you lost it.

You may be bestfriends with this guy, but you definetely didn’t have the same economical status, and you have to work a normal job like everybody else, you don’t get 5 star hotels ever, for gods sake you don’t even get to travel that often, the only time you’ve been out of the country was when Tom took you to Atlanta to do some reshoots back when the first Spider-Man happened, so you made well sure to tell him he was behaving like a brat, posh and whiny rich kid. And he didn’t like it, so he called you a jealous uptight bitch that’s bitter because an ankle injury killed off her career, which was a low blow. So you stormed out of the place.

It was a pretty public scene and there were a few videos from different angles of nearby tables at the pub and a few pictures of both of you screaming at each other, and of you getting out of the place while fuming, and of Tom getting his car a driving off while visibly pissed. It’s been the story of the moment (at least in your life). All your social media was full of Tom’s fans calling you a fake friend, a bitch, a brat, whore, slut… some even sent death threats, which was a bit disturbing, but not surprising.

Of course Tom wasn’t helping at all either, he stopped following you, but didn’t block you so you could see him liking all the rude messages directed to you, and he was being very very vocal about the importance of having real friends and how loyalty is a very important thing and how he had to learn that the hard way very recently. So yeah, like a whiny rich boy.

You were scrolling down instagram, trying to focus on something else, but the notifications were still blowing with comments and tags on rude posts, so decided enough was enough and you started an Instagram Live, not even 1 minute in and you already had a handful of people watching and commenting snake emojis and very strong language words, but you ignored it as you started talking.

“Hello everyone, thanks for all the lovely wishes, I apreciate them a lot, you don’t wanna know. So, I’m here because, since I don’t go around doing interviews for a job, I have to find an outlet to let out my side of the story, because all stories have more than one side and one shouldn’t decide on a side unless you’ve heard all sides of it- the story, I mean.

Tom and I became best friends since day one of us meeting, that was 16 years ago, we were always inseparable and I always knew I had someone to rely on and he had someone to rely on in me. Pretty strong bond. I always knew he wanted to be an actor, the best actor he could be, and I always knew he would make it, because he’s always been so incredibly talented and dedicated and he was very determined, so when he finally got his big chance being casted as Spider-Man I was the first one to celebrate him. As his fame and recognition started growing, he started hanging out with a lot more celebrities and he started picking up on personality traits that aren’t that cool, but at the beggining it was so minimal that I’d just ignore it.

By the time he was filming Far from Home, I think, he was a full on movie star. Every place we’d go, a few cameras would follow and fans would show up, and he loved putting on a show for everyone, to the point where he’d ignore anyone that’s with him. But that’s no the worst part. I can forgive him for having an ego, we all have one, some are bigger than others and that’s cool, but what’s not cool is being condescending to the people who work with or for you. I dont’t believe in people from first or second class, for me everyone is equal and everyone’s work is just as dignified and worthy as anyone else’s, that’s why I finally lost my respect for Tom, because he started treating people that don’t have the same level of privilege as him like they’re less than him. That’s not the way we were raised, those are not the values that my best friend has and I know it’s all because of all the media attention he has.

You all give everything to him in a silver platter, so he now became a bratty movie star, another self centered celebrity that feels entitled. So congratulations. You have created a celebrity, but you have wrecked a human being inside. And I don’t feel like I deserved to be attacked this way for not wanting to put up with being belittled and treated like a peasant. Thanks.”

You finished the live and you broke crying, of course. It hurts to know that your best friend is no longer, that you’re never gonna have all those amazing midnight adventures. Like when you escaped from your houses at 15 to go to that crazy party all the school was attending but your mothers wouldn’t let you go. You remember how you got drunk after just one or two beers and ended up walking and giggling back home at 3am. You were in so much trouble the next day.

Or when he got casted as Peter Parker and you were so happy that you spent the whole night laying in his bed talking about all the hard work you both had done to make your dreams come true. That night he told you how he was proud of you for working so hard on your dancing career and how you were his favourite dancer ever. And you told him that you always knew he’d make it. You promised each other to always be there for the other.

He was the first to arrive to the hospital when you had the accident onstage that ended your career, he held you on those long nights when you’d cry and cry, he was there when you were angry at the world for not letting you have your dream. He helped through everything and never left your side until you were back on your feet and you had a new plan for your life.

He’s not here now though. He’s the one holding the gun on your back and you were the one that threw the first punch. You feel guilty. You ruined everything. You should’ve told him that he shouldn’t behave that way. Of all people, it should’ve been you holding his feet on the ground, and now it all went to shit because of you. It’s all your fault and maybe you do deserve the furious fans and the creepy reporters jumping on you every now and then, and maybe you deserve all those messages because maybe you were a fake friend.

You really don’t have the evergy to get out of bed for the days that followed. It could’ve been just two days, or a week, maybe even months for all you knew; but you stayed in bed, you would cry, eat and sleep and nothing more. Your phone was in some unknown place of your house, you hadn’t even attempted to find it and maybe it ran out of battery long ago, but who cares? definetely not you. You were walking around in your pajamas, looking for ice cream in your freezer or maybe some chocolate bars, or chips… or whatever came to view first, but you were interrupted by the ring of your doorbell and then a knock on your door, you thought about ignoring it, but then they knocked again so you brought yourself to the door and opened it.

You froze when you saw Tom on the other side of your door, looking probably just as destroyed as you do, red puffy eyes, messy hair, he was wearing sweatpants and an old shirt, an unusual look since now he’s always trying to look his absolute best. This guy in front of you resembled your best friend since childhood more than any of the high fashion versions of Tom, but it still ached in your heart that he was in this state in your front door unannounced.

“Tom… w-what are you doing h-here?”

“I uh… read a rumor and I needed to see it wasn’t true.”

“What?” You suddenly feel your blood boiling. The only reason he came was because of some rumor he read, he doesn’t regret anything, he doesn’t miss you, he just wants to see if some stupid rumor is true. You go to close the door in his face but he pushes the door.

“You wanna know what it was? Y/N listen to me, please!” You try to push harder, but he’s way stronger than you are so you give in and let him in, but the frown never leaves your face and you cross your arms over your chest.

“I’m listening.” You really don’t want to get your guard down, but the way Tom is looking at you right now makes it really hard. He looks at you the way one looks at a youth treasure you found after years of longing. The way you look at a flower that grows against all odds in the middle of a desserted field. And it’s making you feel very aware of him. You notice how the bags under his eyes are deeper than ever, his skin doesn’t look as flawless and polished as it did the last time you saw him, you can even see some spots around his forehead, you notice how he’s still unable to tame that eyebrow and how they also look a little unplucked, you can also see the tarce of a beard, the kind that tells you that maybe he didn’t shave this morning and even the day before that, and his hair is not only messier but it’s also longer. And it’s grounding to see him look so human, vulnerable and real right in front of you.

“There were some rumors going around that you might’ve… that you maybe… y-you had..” For some reason he was unable to look you in the eye, and every time he tried to speak he’d take a small step closer to you. “That you maybe had… comitted… suicide…”

You froze where you stood, and maybe your jaw fell slack, and maybe you even stopped breathing, where the fuck did he read that? What the actual fuck are people saying? your blood started boiling with rage, not even at Tom anymore, but at the world, why does everyone suddenly feel entitled to say those terrible things and why? Because you haven’t been on social media in a long time? People seriously need to understand that other people exist outside the internet and the have lives outside social media.

“I seriously hate people. Well… here I am, alive and well, is that everything?” you ask as you raise a brow, expecting him to say something else, but he looks at you taken a back, he’s at a loss of words because he was expecting this to fix things.

“Umh… yeah?”

“Okay then, I’ll walk you to the door.” You say flatly and start making your way back to your front door.

“Y/N wait… I do need to say something else” He grabs you by the wrist and turns you around, you end up mere inches away from him, his hand still holding you. His gaze roams all over your face, he looks down at your lips while licking his, but then he looks up to your eyes. “I’m sorry. About everything. I was a dick, and maybe I am an idiot for realizing I don’t want to lose you until I read those terrible things and it hurt as hell to even imagine a world without you in it. I don’t want to live the rest of my life without your surprise texts when I’m away filming, or your weird gif replies, or our film nights and crazy getaways. You’re the best friend that I have. And I love you, Y/N. I really, really do, and I’m sorry it took me so long to admit that to you.” If this had happened a few months ago, you would have kissed him already. You loved him for such a long time, it almost hurt you, you had all those feelings for him stored inside you and at times it felt like they couldn’t fit anymore and you’d just explode, but that changed. You changed. And so did he.

“I accept your apology, Tom.” you took a long pause before speaking again, and you could see in Tom’s eyes that it was killing him to wait, every second feeling longer than the previous, until you spoke again. “But it’s gonna take a lot more than that to fix our friendship. I’m sorry I don’t share your feelings, but I received death threats over twitter, so many hate comments coming to me everyday… and you were liking them, encouraging people to keep attacking me! You expect me to just forget about that and act like it never happened? And you expect me to just throw myself at your arms and live happily ever after? It really doesn’t work like that, Tom. You have to go now.” He stayed looking at you for a moment, and you could see the heartbreak in his eyes, but your own heart was breaking aswell. Maybe you could fix this, but it would take more than this, and right now you could not see him in your apartment.

“Please leave Tom” Your voice was just a pleading whisper at this point, but Tom did let go of your wrist and you sighed when you felt the cold breeze hit the skin where his hand had been. He walked past you and opened the door, taking one last look at you as one single tear fell from your eyes. And the door closed.

---

Tagging a few people that might be interested so it doesn’t flop :)

@caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki @madmadmilk @hollandrecs @starksparker @sunshinehollandd

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