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snkpolls · 3 years

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SnK Episodes 73 & 74 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 135 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

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RATE EPISODE 73: SAVAGERY 129 responses

As expected, this highly anticipated episode didn’t fail to deliver and fans absolutely loved it, with over 95% giving it a 4-5 star rating.

I loved the episode 73. The fight between Levi and Zeke was spectacular! The animation was 10/10, definitely worth watching. Good, old Kenny's theme brought memories back. I have to admit that Mappa made Levi look hundred times better and definitely more masculine.

RATE EPISODE 74: SOLE SALVATION 128 responses

While episode 74 generated slightly less enthusiasm across the board, it still managed to garner a high rating from respondents.

when i read the manga version, i wasn't that much moved by zeke's backstory. but with the music, voice and color additions... it's fucking heartbreaking. mappa did an outstanding job. and the tension when he activated the thunder spear???? the animation? we were blessed. ALSO! the movement of the bodies when they threw the ball looked so realistic! it's a tiny detail that i loved.

Zook

WHICH WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT OF EPISODE 73? 128 responses

Levi vs. Zeke 2.0 got the largest piece of the pie, getting 23.4% of the vote. Behind that was the moment when Levi had to kill his comrades in titan form (14.8%), Armin punching Eren in the face (14.1%), Eren disparaging Armin and Mikasa (11.7%), and at 8.6%, that one screenshot of Armin the entire fandom was thirsting over. Shoutout to the person in the comments who wanted Mikasa to pin them down (the pollster writing this feels the same!).

💥🐒 mOnKe and Lebi 🍄and Jean go BOOM 🐎💥

For me, the real gem of EMA talk isn't that one Armin frame that everyone's going crazy about. It's the frame before it, that low angle of Mikasa half sitting on the table holding Armin down. Holy...I wanted to be Armin so bad right at that moment.

WHICH WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT OF EPISODE 74? 127 responses

35.4% felt the most memorable scene from this episode was the ending scene where Zeke triggers the thunderspear and sends Levi flying. Behind that was the moment where Zeke listens to Grisha yelling through the door (18.1%), Zeke and Ksaver coming up with the euthenasia plan together (8.7%) and Ksaver telling Zeke to sell out his parents (7.9%).

EPISODE 73 IS TITLED, “SAVAGERY.” OF THE OPTIONS BELOW, WHICH CHARACTER DO YOU THINK BEST EXEMPLIFIED THIS WORD? 128 responses

In an episode filled with both verbal and physical violence, we asked which character you thought best exemplified the episode’s title. 35.2% felt that Eren was the worst offender with his words and actions against Armin and Mikasa. 29.7% felt that Levi’s violent acts against Zeke were deserving of the title “savagery.” Only 22.7% felt that Floch most suited the episode title, while just a small handful, 12.5%, felt that Zeke is the one most deserving of the term.

HOW BADLY DID YOU FEEL ABOUT LEVI HAVING TO KILL HIS OWN SQUAD? 127 responses

The majority felt, on at least some level, sorrow for what Levi had to do in order to survive and catch up to Zeke. Though a small handful didn’t feel too bad for our Captain.

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW WOULD YOU RATE LEVI VS. ZEKE 2.0? 127 responses

In general, the fight received positive reception. Though it wasn’t all hype, as the highest ranking was actually a 4 and not a 5. It was hype, but not quite hype enough for us manga readers.

I loved Levi vs Zeke 2.0 but they really should have used the instrumental version instead of K21, I laughed out loud when I heard that beacuse I felt like it took all the seriousness from the scene

levi and zeke goat

WHY DO YOU THINK FLOCH MADE THE RECRUITS BATTER INSTRUCTOR SHADIS? 128 responses

The majority of respondents feel that Floch’s motivations are a mix of factors. For those who did think there was a more specific reason, though, 16.4% felt it’s simply a matter of Floch having a massive ego trip. 10.2% feel that Floch truly believes what he says about taking out the old and bringing in the new, and 7.8% believe Floch simply wanted to make an example out of Shadis (presumably alluding to the fate of those who resist the Yeagerists).

He was testing if the recruits can go this far

He wants to intimidate people into joining his cause by using violence and threats of arrest and also make them feel empowered by his ideals.

Standard protocol when there's a change of regime, you'd want to eliminate the old guards' influence ASAP.

That's how fascism works

All of the above and the fact that he's a fascist.

HOW CUTE WAS BITTY ZEKE? 130 responses

After a long time waiting, we finally got to see child Zeke in animated form. The vast majority think he was cute as a button, ready to pinch his little baby cheeks! Only a small handful think bby Zeke is anything but cute.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT GRISHA’S TREATMENT OF ZEKE? 130 responses

This chapter created more controversy surrounding Grisha after it’s publication. In general, fans still aren’t particularly proud of Grisha’s behavior. 36.9% felt that Zeke didn’t deserve any of the treatment he got from his father, and 24.6% outright want to give Grisha the award for worst parent in the entire series. 24.6% don’t approve of Grisha’s behavior, but they do empathize with the way Grisha must have felt. 10.8% feel that while he could have treated Zeke better, he also could have been much worse.

Zeke was a sweet child but no child deserves to be treated like that regardless of how nice or well behaved they are. Grisha is disgusting.

Grisha was a large dick and asshole and he deserved the all punishment he got.

Grisha is a terrible father but such a well written character

it's crazy to me how people really thought grisha wasn't that in the wrong in terms of how he raised zeke.

DO YOU FEEL THAT ZEKE WOULD HAVE GROWN INTO AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT KIND OF PERSON IF GRISHA HAD TREATED HIM BETTER? 129 responses

Just over half of respondents think it’s possible Zeke could have become a different kind of person if he’d had a brighter and happier childhood, though they didn’t want to say for sure as they feel that Grisha’s treatment wasn’t the sole reason why Zeke sees the world the way he does. 41.9% believe that the outcome of Zeke’s mindset would have been completely different. Only a few think that he would have come to the same conclusions about the world either way.

Unless Grisha gives up being a restorationist I don't see it as better treatment, if he does then yes

Yes. The whole point for the euthanasia plan was that Eldian children don't have to go through what he went through.

WHO DO YOU THINK HAD A BIGGER IMPACT IN SHAPING ZEKE’S WORLDVIEW? 126 responses

When it comes to “father figures” in Zeke’s life, 65.1% believe that Ksaver holds much more responsibility than Grisha does when it comes to the way Zeke views the world.

WHO TURNED OUT MORE LIKE GRISHA, IN YOUR OPINION? 128 responses

Between Grisha’s two sons, 68% of respondents feel that Eren is the brother who turned out much more similarly to Grisha, leaving only 32% who feel the opposite and think Zeke ultimately turned out more like Grisha in the end (For those who are curious, 81% of anime-only fans feel that Eren is the one who turned out more like Grisha).

WHO WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO PUNCH IN THE FACE AFTER THESE EPISODES? 129 responses

There was a lot that happened in these episodes that could have bred resentment from fans. From the options provided, 35.7% of respondents would most like to punch Floch in the face. 22.5% wish to channel their inner Armin and give Eren a sock to the face. 14.7% felt more visceral toward Grisha. 11.6% don’t want to punch anyone at all. For those who wanna punch the pollsters, meet us out back at 16:00 hours.

Floch sucks

HOW DO YOU FEEL FINALLY GETTING TO SEE THE PAINFUL EMA CONVERSATION IN ANIME FORM? 127 responses

A lot has happened since chapter 112 published, but the chapter still continues to stick with us and spark conversation. With such a highly anticipated scene finally being animated, we wanted to know how you felt seeing the scene reimagined with music, voice acting and color. 29.9% just felt that the chapter hits much differently now after the contents of chapter 138. 25.2% had a much harder time watching the scene in anime form than they felt reading the manga. 12.6% felt even more strongly, expressing extreme heartbreak over E/MA’s breakup. Only a handful of respondents felt the scene hit much harder in the manga.

I'm over it, I felt nothing. Props to Yuki Kaji though, his voice acting is as amazing as ever.

I liked both manga and anime versions, but hearing Armin's sharp intakes of breath from being hit ;~; MY POOR BABY!

M M G H, boi

mmgh

There is no pain, only support for whatever horny animator drew that shot of Armin.

I love EMA emotionally destroying each other and Mappa made it SO FUCKING GOOD, I watched this scene like 100 times

Eren = me | Armin's fist = EMA scene punching me across my expressionless face | Mikasa = my anime-only gf

BEFORE THE FINAL CHAPTER HITS, WHAT DO YOU THINK WAS EREN’S “TRAIN OF THOUGHT” IN REGARDS TO HIS WORDS IN THIS CONVERSATION? 126 responses

With the last chapter just over a week away, we’re hoping to finally get some closure in terms of Eren’s characterization and the choices he’s made. 42.9% believe that Eren chose to be cruel to his friends in the hope it would drive them to be willing to put an end to Eren’s life. 24.6% felt the opposite, hoping that Eren would push them into a corner where they wouldn’t interfere with his plan at all. 18.3% still aren’t sure what to think. Will we get answers, Isayama?!

He wants to "free" Mikasa and armin from himself because he knew he was gonna die

Probably the first option but there might be some truth to what he was saying.

He definitely wanted to push them away and antagonize them but I'm still not completely sure why. I don't feel we've gotten a satisfying explanation.

He chose to be cruel to Mikasa and Armin in an attempt to make it so they wouldn't mourn him when he was dead and could be free of him entirely.

Eren still has heart warming feelings to Mikasa and - by being cruel - he wanted her to let him go (and most likely) kill him. His feelings to Armin however are much colder and they don't seem to like each other anymore. They are way too different. Armin and Eren are like two deities who will always fight each other.

Like he said in 138, he wanted to push them away so they would move on from his death and live happily without him.

SOME DIALOGUE FROM THE EMA CONVERSATION WAS CUT OR SHORTENED. WHICH PART(S) DID YOU MISS THE MOST? 125 responses

Due to time constraints, the EMA conversation took a big hit in terms of how much content was cut from it. Of the cuts we noticed, the dialogue snippets that were most missed by manga readers were; Eren bringing up Armin’s good judgement when they were younger, Eren telling Mikasa that the “real her” disappeared in the mountain cabin, the mention of Ackermans being a “byproduct” of titan science, and the mention that Ackermans manifest the power of titans in human form.

OVERALL, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE AFOREMENTIONED CUTS? 123 responses

When it comes to how manga readers actually felt about the cuts in the EMA conversation, 35% agreed that they felt bitter about them, while still understanding that there was probably little other choice. 22% think it was just too watered down and cut down the impact significantly. 14.6% didn’t care, 11.4% felt the cuts were actually a positive thing, and 10.6% feel that the manga is simply just the superior medium for this series.

I find it interesting that the titan science stuff was cut and wonder if maybe Isayama agreed to those cuts bc he knows he won't have time to really explain in the last chapter of the manga.

Oof, too many important informations have been cut.

I'm okay either way!

Although I would've loved to see all of those aforementioned cuts animated, I understand why they had to be cut in the first place, so I'm not bitter by it at all. I still think the conversation still had the impact it was intended to have.

I kind of understand why some dialogues would have to be cut but it lessened the impact of how Eren tried to hurt his friends which I personally think is too much even if he might have good intentions in doing so. I also like how MAPPA rearranges scenes to better fit the airtime limitation of each episode.

MAPPA CHANGED EREN’S EXPRESSION AFTER HE WAS CALLED OUT BY ARMIN. THOUGHTS? 127 responses

A small change can impact a lot… or perhaps not. 34.6% felt let down by the change in Eren’s facial expression after Armin calls him out for hurting Mikasa, feeling that his original expression spoke volumes about his true feelings about what he’d done. 28.3% didn’t notice any change at all and so are unaffected. 15.7% are on a similar page and feel that there really wasn’t enough of a difference to gripe about anything, and 9.4% actually preferred the way MAPPA handled Eren in this snippet.

as they did when mikasa calls him out in liberio, they harden his expressionstry to make him look like a heartless monster with no empathy for his friends. this expression hinted that he was hurt by telling all of that to his friends, so his self sacrifice motivations can be misunderstood by anime onlies, or worse: they may even think it comes out of nowhere.

The manga was just superior here, from his expression to the fact that Armin did manage to make him bleed. It was disappointing.

I read this chapter way too long ago, I don't remember this stuff

He looks a lot more hurt and regretful in the Manga. Anime just looks annoyed.

Not a big deal to me. Manga is definitely superior though.

In the manga Eren was more human, while here we can clearly see his anger towards Armin's words.

THE ANIME ADAPTATION CUT OUT A BIT OF CONTEXT IN REGARDS TO LEVI STATING THAT THEY WILL FEED A YEAGERIST TO HISTORIA AFTER SHE GIVES BIRTH. DO YOU THINK THIS MAKES THINGS CONFUSING FOR THE ANIME-ONLIES? 123 responses

Historia’s pregnancy plot continues to get the shaft (for better or for worse), with the mention of her eventually eating the Yeagerist that eats Zeke being cut out entirely. 39% of respondents felt that this was a poor choice on MAPPA’s part, feeling that it will make things confusing for anime only fans (“why would they feed Zeke to a Yeagerist?”). 26% feel the opposite, and think anime only fans should be able to put 2 and 2 together to realize where Levi was going with his idea. 22% aren’t sure if it actually makes things confusing, and 10.6% just don’t care.

I'm not sure how confusing this makes it for anime-onlies but them cutting out mentions of her pregnancy makes it seem even less important than it already does.

That plan was shut down so quickly it doesn't matter

I don't/didn't really understand this. None of the Yeagerist have royal blood... maybe I'm missing something. I figured he was just joking? Bc, tactically, what does Historia eating a Yeagerist do or have to do with anything?

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ADAPTATION OF THE ZEKE RUNNING PANEL? 124 responses

When Zeke ran from Levi in the manga, the scene was memed to death. 46.8% of respondents weren’t disappointed in MAPPA’s adaptation and felt it was just as enjoyable as it was in the manga. 29.8% felt even more strongly, thinking MAPPA did an even better job than Isayama had done. 17.7% still prefer the manga version.

It was funny in the manga but not in the anime and that's probably for the best given the weight of what's about to happen.

I honestly don't remember the running panel lmao

Funny monke

HOW WELL WAS ZEKE’S BACKSTORY ADAPTED, IN YOUR OPINION? 126 responses

60.3% felt that MAPPA did an incredible job with executing Zeke’s backstory in the anime, with the impact feeling even greater than it did in the original manga. 37.3% agree to a lesser degree, simply being pleased that it was faithful to the source material and feel thankful enough for that. Only a sliver of the pie felt that MAPPA didn’t deliver well on this or didn’t care.

Made him too sympathetic/made grisha look even worse

MAPPA REPLACED THE MONKEY PLUSHIE WITH A RAM PLUSHIE IN KSAVER’S VISION. THOUGHTS? 125 responses

We got a couple of Easter Eggs in this episode, with one of them being the inclusion of a ram plushie in place of the monkey doll that was in the manga. Knowing now that Ksaver’s Beast Titan was a ram, we were curious how many of you caught this. 55.2% absolutely loved the easter egg, and 31.2% just felt that it was neat. A few were confused, missed monke, or wanted to squish the adorable plushie. Baa!

I jumped out of my seat seeing that little fecker. I was literally like "...!!!! THE RAM!!! WE KNOW KSAVER'S TITAN NOW SO THEY PUT IN A RAM!! YOU..!!! ISAYAMAAAAA!!" It was hilarious XD

THE DOLLS IN KSAVER’S VISION APPEAR TO RESEMBLE ARMIN, MIKASA AND HISTORIA. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS? 121 responses

Aside from the ram plushie were also dolls that some thought seemed to resemble Armin, Mikasa and Historia. We got very mixed responses on this question. 20.7% felt that it was simply just a fun easter egg and didn’t hold any kind of narrative meaning. 19% were unsure what to think at all. 16.5% think the third doll actually represents Ymir Fritz and not Historia. 15.7% felt it was meant to represent the three people Eren is working hardest to protect, and 9.1% didn’t think they represented anything.

i thought that was ymir fritz, zeke, and either eren or levi

I think the two dolls inside the box look more like Gabi and Falco but I'm not sure who the doll with the pink dress is, Ymir Fritz maybe?

I didn't even notice this, lmao. I'm bored of overthinking things like this, there's one chapter left y'all.

Oh, I thought it was Eren, Zeke and Ymir lol.

Reminds me of the Eren doll in the Lost Girls OVA.

The box represents those who we will see in the final chapter. Sorry Historia :'(

All of the above xD

The doll isn't Historia - It's Ymir Frtiz - and her position under the wagon means that Eren values Mikasa and Eren more than Ymir/anything else. I think the wagon is also significant to that bit where Eren confessed to the squad that they were the most important people in his life, and that he doesn't want anything bad to happen to them.

EREN TELLS ZEKE, “I’LL PUT AN END TO 2,000 YEARS OF TITAN DOMINATION.” EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING, DO YOU BELIEVE IT’S POSSIBLE THAT THIS WAS HIS TRUE INTENTION, AND THAT HE CAN STILL BE THE ONE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN? 122 responses

Will there be a final twist in the series finale? 34.4% seem to think so, hoping that Eren’s words will ring true and he will somehow abolish titans from the world. 23% feel similarly, though they think he knew his actions would lead to the catalyst to rid titans from the world, rather than him doing it himself. 12.3% feel the opposite, and think Eren was simply just lying to Zeke about bringing an end to the titan power, and 9.8% think he’s just too dead at this point to accomplish anything. 19.7% aren’t sure what to predict.

Yes, ending the era of titans and setting Eldians free is one of Eren's goals.

GIVEN THAT ZEKE’S FLASHBACK ELEMENTS FROM 115 WERE ALSO ADAPTED IN THIS CHAPTER, DO YOU THINK THE FINAL EPISODE WILL HAVE ANY ANIME-ONLY SCENES? 124 responses

The episode has already aired and we can now confirm that there were no additional scenes. 41.9% were correct in their hunch that the remaining contents would be enough to fill an entire episode - in fact, they didn't even end up animating all of it! What about Levi and Hange?!

Since we won't reach Ch. 121 or 122 I don't really care.

Since Mappa took over, not anymore :(

What tou MEAN ”the final episode”?!

HOW DO YOU FEEL KNOWING THAT ANIME ONLY FANS WON’T HAVE A SOLID ANSWER ON LEVI’S FATE FOR MONTHS? 127 responses

We didn’t expect this question to come off as cruel as it now feels after MAPPA didn’t even throw us a bone in episode 75 about Levi’s fate. That being said, 29.1% are ready to snack on their popcorn while they watch anime onlies worry and theorize over Levi’s fate. 21.3% are simply feeling mischievous. 9.4% think it’s cruel to take any delight in anime watchers’ woes, as we also had to experience the same thing for several months. 33.9% think it will be next to impossible for anime only fans to avoid being spoiled about Levi’s fate.

It should be fairly obvious he's alive when they show Hange jumping in the river with him next episode.

Good. I think most of them will assume he's not dead yet though.

Maybe it will inspire some of them to read the manga to find out.

Ugh, I hope they won't be complaining as much as the manga readers did even though it was obvious he's not dead.

THE PREVIEW ONLY REVEALED ONE SCENE TO US. SO INSTEAD, WHICH MOMENT FROM CHAPTER 115/116 ARE YOU MOST ANTICIPATING? 126 responses

31% of respondents were most looking forward to the moment where Pieck declared Eren as the enemy. 23% had most anticipated seeing Ymir revive Zeke (rip) and 19.8% were most looking forward to seeing Hange dive into the river with Levi’s injured body (double rip). 10.3% were most anticipating the scene with Eren, Pieck and Gabi in the jail room, and 7.1% were most hyped about Marley’s airships showing up onto the scene.

WE’VE ONLY GOT ONE EPISODE LEFT FOR THIS RUN! HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT IT? 125 responses

59.2% were feeling hyped to get an announcement about a part 2 of the season. 24%, on the other hand, are bummed out and have a new void to fill in their heart while they wait. 11.2% feel similarly and on a greater level… the seasons between the SnK anime seasons are just the worst anime seasons of all!

Too distracted by manga-ending-anxiety to feel much about it

Disappointed. It's not actually the final season.

I'm ready for this season of heartbreak to be over thank you just put me out of my misery and stop dragging me along behind the car

I can't believe it's near ending already

DO YOU THINK WE WILL GET AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THE NEXT ANIME INSTALLMENT NEXT WEEK? 122 responses

54.1% of respondents were hopeful for a part 2 announcement and the good news is that MAPPA didn’t let them down. 19.7% were right on the nose with this one!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODES?

GOAT

The scene with Levi's comrades turning into Titans was one of the most visually stunning moments for me; the whole panning out throughout as they all started turning sort of gave me chills. Levi's reaction to it all, and ultimately having to kill them too was heartbreaking. Honestly that entire scene was quite gripping. I hate to admit that watching it in anime form has sort of solidified me resonating with Zeke in regards to his relationship with Grisha. Dude just wanted to spend time with his freaking dad and instead went through all of that, I don't blame him for the resentment at all. Still a douche for some of the stuff he's done. And ersonally I prefer him over Eren. Eren never went through that kind of treatment from Grisha and ended up... like that. Also!!!!!! Love me some Bertholdt crumbs, thank you Mappa! God, I miss him. :(

The removal of mostly anything mentioning titan scientists/research and Ackermans being a byproduct of titan science makes me wonder if Isayama regretted introducing that. I was already disappointed the manga didn't expand on that and the anime made it worse. Almost nonexistent tbh. Loved seeing Zeke's backstory, like all the other children in this series, he deserved better.

The ost during Floch's speech was brilliant. Young Zeke and Grisha VAs also. Makes me want to adopt Zeke right there. Not sure if Pieck and Porco already appeared as background characters (in ep 13&14) there were some figures that looked like them so I can't wait for the next episode!

Nah, I just loved them

These were one of the best of the season!

i just want more, also i loved MAPPA's style so far

In those episodes, the emotions weren't as strong as in the manga. I didn't feel much. And for the EMA talk... well, I liked Eren's neutral expression in the manga better, it was more fitted. And the animation of his "fight" with Armin was absolutely terrible, and it's sad to say that when you know that Mappa can do so much better.

*points at Zeke* WITNESSED!!

MAPPA stans Armin, it shows, and I am 100% here for it.

Being aware if latest chapters, I see young Zeke with different eyes

Mappa has done a fabulous job so far. The only thing I hoped for is that they should not have made the face difference so obvious from previous seasons to the last one, for the benefit of anime-only people. Yes, they stayed true to the manga, but their animators had to have control over it, which is what happened in S1 where girls had some sort of gloss on their lips and Yams requested for them to be removed in succeeding episodes.. that tells me that the animators/mappa have some semblance of control over how the characters look

I think MAPPA is doing a good job with the episodes.

Feels. That is all.

I really loved how Mappa executed that scene wint Ksaver's wife's murder/suicide. In the manga, they just outright depict it happening in the room. In the anime, they blended it in with the present surroundings. It literally gave me the chills. I do worry that the missing dialogue from the EMA scene, especially Eren explaining how Mikasa's dedication to him is nothing but science. I also worry about him not mentioning the slave/freedom thing, bc afaik the dialogue in the leaked panel of 139 says ""you are free"", and I always thought it was gonna be related to that.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 118 responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated! We will post the poll for episode 75 soon!

In the meantime, please feel free to send us up to 5 of your favorite characters via ask or submission for our ongoing popularity poll - that poll will close on the 10th of April! :D

#snk poll #snk polls #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #snk spoilers #snk s4

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antimatterpod · 3 years

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Transcript - 72. What About Manperson?

This transcript is SO LARGE that the first eight attempts to share it broke Tumblr. (Tumblr, sweetheart, it’s a plain text file, if Usenet and dial-up could handle it, I’m sure you can cope.)

You can listen to the original episode here.

Anika: Welcome to Antimatter Pod, a Star Trek podcast where we discuss fashion, feminism, subtext and subspace, hosted by Anika and Liz. This week, we're taking a trip back to 1977 to discuss a write up of a panel on 'feminism in Treklit'.

Liz: And I pushed for this one because I promised us [an episode about] zines, and I had misremembered where the zine archive was. And then I stumbled across this essay, and it was so interesting and wild, and I figured we could probably get some discussion out of it.

Anika: Absolutely. I just want to start by saying that 'Treklit' is the cutest little word ever.

Liz: I know!

Anika: 'Treklit'. I love it so much.

Liz: And there's no, "Oh, no, we mustn't call it literature. It's just fan fiction" about it. Because there were no tie-in novels back then, there were just a handful of novelizations and so forth. So go for it, ladies!

Anika: Really bad ones, too.

Liz: Yeah, yeah.

Anika: I've read those. They're bad.

Liz: The panelists in this discussion were Sharon Ferraro, who was a zine publisher, fic writer and con organizer, and Jean Lorrah, a fic writer, novelist and editor, who would go on to write tie-in fiction, including The Vulcan Academy Murders and the TNG novel Survivors, which we discussed in our tie-in fiction episode. And this panel took place at SekwesterCon in 1976. It was tape-recorded by one fan and written up by the [convention] organizers for a zine.

Anika: Which is also adorable.

Liz: I know! And it sounds like just the whole room got into it. And it was so interesting! I can only imagine the drama if this panel was held today, because they sit down and start calling out authors and fics by name and title. And one of the authors stands up and argues back. And it's just wildly interesting, and a snapshot of fandom, and fic writing fandom, at the time.

Anika: Amazing. You put that note, you know, "Can you imagine if this panel was held today," and I was thinking about it, I was like, it sort of is, but it's in social media and in comments.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: But like, even there, there's not really so much of a -- there's a lot of discourse, you know how we use that word now, "discourse", sort of to mean something completely different than what it actually means.

But if there's that there's still sort of this, etiquette to it, I would say. If someone leaves you a nasty comment on a fic and you didn't ask for it, everybody will come in and say, "That was inappropriate, you shouldn't have done that."

And even online, if you're going to say, "Oh, I've just read this horrible Star Trek fan fiction, it was so bad and so ridiculous," like you don't use the names and you don't link to it. You protect the anonymity of the person. And so it's sort of like, yeah, even even though we can still be just as vicious and just as critical, there is sort of this accepted way of doing things.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: That this discussion sort of flies in the face of, which is interesting, it's like, huh, you know, they can you can go both ways on that. That has pros and cons.

Liz: Yeah, there was a discussion on Twitter a few weeks ago about racism in fandom and on AO3. One person cited a very specific Michael/Lorca slavery AU, and I knew exactly which fic she was talking about. And I have shared her opinion, and that fic is vile, and I hate it. And I hate that it's on AO3 and there's no way to block it when I search for Lorca fic.

But no one was linking to it. No one was saying this to the author's face. Apparently people have tried to go, "This is a very bad idea for a fic," and she's just like, "LOL, whatevs!"

We are critical. But there's also just too many people in fandom to get all of us in a room or on one mailing list to be part of this discussion.

Anika: It's so interesting that you mention mailing lists, because I was there for the mailing list, um, Trek stuff. And I do remember, you know, there was a lot of -- I guess it was like camps, you know, people who would be on one side or the other of a discussion. And that could get pretty intense sometimes. I don't have any -- it was sort of the end of it when I was involved, so I feel like I witnessed the move from email list to online, I don't know--

Liz: Blogs.

Anika: Yeah, like blogs and all, your own space, I guess.

Liz: Yes.

Anika: As opposed to -- we would like email each other our fan fictions, and they wouldn't go anywhere else, it would just be on this email list, and the copy of the email list that was in Yahoogroups, or whatever.

Liz: And if you were, for example, part of a Janeway/Chakotay group, you weren't necessarily with your friends or people you knew. Certainly for me, my first mailing group was JetC22, and I just signed up and was allocated to this particular group. And there were some people there that I liked very much, and there were some people there that I really, really disliked. And--

Anika: Right.

Liz: --from there that gave me a foundation to go to the people I did like, "Hey, let's start our own group with hookers and booze."

Anika: Right. It's amazing and crazy to think, "Oh, we could just all have a conversation in one room and discuss it all." And that was cool.

Liz: I'm sort of glad that we don't have to go back to those days, but at the same time, like, I like to think that these ladies would look at my fic and go, "Oh, yeah, she's totally feminist by the standards of 1976."

Because the essay starts off, "Feminism in much of Treklit can be regarded as non-existent, particularly in GRUP type stories." And GRUP was an adult content zine which took its name from the slang for grown ups in the TOS episode "Miri. And I'm like, I can't think of a worse thing to name your smut zine.

Anika: I know! That's so, so bad. I'm turned off immediately, but that's just me here in 2021.

Liz: Right. And it's interesting that they're complaining here that the smut fic was very much generic, which I think is still a complaint these days. Sometimes you read a fic and you're like, "I don't think that really taught me anything new about the characters, I have no insight into how this author feels about them, save that she's sort of mashing her action figures together." Which is not a bad thing, but it's not what I enjoy in fic

Anika: Right, it's definitely not what I enjoy in fic. I think that my interests are very well known at this point, and it's pretty much never sex.

Liz: No.

Anika: So. Oh, well!

Liz: It goes on to say, "Some stories are anti-feminist in that women are segregated out of them. Action is all concerned with the male characters. And the implication is that women are not liable to participate in such matters." I like to think that fandom has moved on.

Anika: Well...

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: Yes. Yes, fandom has moved on, but has society?

Liz: Well, no. I think what's notable here is that they're not specifically talking about slash fic, they're probably talking about, I guess what in the X-Files fandom was called case files or casefics, where it's basically, "I'm writing a Star Trek episode, but in prose format." And they're sort of reflecting The Original Series in that it is very dudely.

Anika: Yeah, absolutely.

Liz: You know, we say, "Oh, fandom is so subversive, fic is about reclaiming the narrative." But honestly, some people write fic because they like the narrative and they want more of it. And there's nothing inherently wrong with that, but if you're not applying a critical eye to your source then maybe you're reproducing its problems.

Anika: Hmm, it's interesting. I mean, I just said I, I have very specific likes and dislikes. And there's a lot of stuff like -- casefic, I don't really need, because I can watch the show for that. But curtain fic, which is, like --

Liz: The domestic...

Anika: -- the characters just, like washing the dishes or arguing about Netflix, like that. I eat it up. That's my favorite thing. There's no saving the world, there's just, "We saved the world, and now we're going home to relax and, and decompress--"

Liz: Yes.

Anika: "-- and do whatever we want to do." Like, those are the fics that I like.

Liz: And "what happens after you save the world?" is a good story.

Anika: It's not subversive, but it is something that's not in the fiction as it stands.

Liz: I think it is subversive in a small way, because you're adding the domesticity which has been excluded from the primary narrative, and in doing so, highlighting that it, too, has value.

Anika: It definitely has value.

Liz: I really like casefic that's character-driven, that's about the people. And I used to have that itch scratched by tie-in fiction, and it doesn't so much anymore -- Una McCormack, thank God, she exists. But, yeah, it's not really something we see so much now that tie-in fiction exists.

And also, I think there's a stronger impetus to file serial numbers off and turn a fic into an original work. And if you're going into all the effort of writing a plot anyway, just throw in that little bit more effort and make it original. I feel like there's less need for casefic.

Anika: Yeah, I agree. But I don't search it out, so maybe it's there, and I just don't read it.

Liz: Yeah, possibly. I have this idea for a Lorca/Cornwell casefic, where they're in their thirties, and they have to go undercover as a married couple on, like, a human settlement that's outside of the Federation. And the reason I haven't started writing it is that I'm like, well, it's not very shippy, so where's where's the hook?

Anika: "Right. So why am I doing it?"

Liz: Yeah!

Anika: I get that.

Liz: The essay goes on, "Other fics concern women, but in a very negative light," and they go on to discuss two fics in particular. One has the rather spectacular title of "Murder, Rape and Other Unsocial Acts". And it's -- I looked it up, it has a Fanlore page of its own. -- it's about a Klingon family, and there's a lot of comedy rape because it's the '70s. And ... yeah, it seems like something that would not really fly these days, and obviously, it was subject to criticism at the time.

And the other fic is titled "An Abortive Attempt", in which a human gynecologist is effectively extradited to Vulcan to face charges for performing an abortion on a Vulcan woman.

Anika: Amazing!

Liz: This is such a specifically 1970s concept. And I have to disagree that this is not a feminist story. This, to me, is a wildly feminist story. Just because something bad happens to a woman -- I'm guessing that this -- I couldn't find it online, but I'm assuming that this is not actually pro-life propaganda, and therefore it is a feminist story, defending choice. I guess? Probably?

Anika: I guess. It's amazing that -- just thinking about, you know, what do Vulcans think about abortion is like -- oh, my goodness! What a great thing.

Liz: Because we would go, "Well, obviously reproductive rights and controlling fertility down to the micro level is very logical." Pardon me, I'm losing my voice. We would think that extreme reproductive rights and micromanaging fertility is very logical.

But then you think, "Well, they've got these arranged marriages, and it's really hard to get a divorce, and Spock is actually quite sexist in The Original Series." He's sort of the logic over feelings guy, as opposed to feminist Jim Kirk, who's like, "But feelings, Spock! They have their place. Women! They're so beautiful!" So, for the '70s, it's a logical extrapolation of Vulcan culture

Anika: Of pro-life Vulcans?

Liz: I guess?

Anika: I mean, yeah, I get it, I get it, but it's also -- I can't imagine it would happen very often on Vulcan, just because they know their cycles so well -- that sounds so weird. And so, if something came up, I feel like there would be a logical reason for it to be needed. I don't know. I just I feel like you could use logic to come up with [a reason] why you should have an abortion easier than why you shouldn't.

Liz: No, I agree. Like, I kind of perceive the Star Trek universe as being a lot like Lois McMaster Bujold's future, where we just control fertility so well and we have extra-uterine gestation anyway, so unwanted pregnancies aren't really an issue for people very often?

Anika: We can only hope.

Liz: It's a nice idea. But it's just interesting to me that this fic is such a reflection of the time in which it's written. And in twenty years, will people be looking back -- on their podcast that's broadcast straight into people's brains -- and going, "Wow, there were a lot of fics about gay marriage back then. Gosh, that's such a product of its time."

Anika: Oh, my goodness. I mean, again, we can only hope.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: I would love for our progressive future to actually be progressive.

Liz: Yes, yes! I would love to do a thesis on something or something about tracking social progress through issues in fan fiction and depictions in fan fiction. One day, when I have time to do a PhD, and can also go to Iowa to go through their zine archive.

Anika: Cool.

Liz: Then we get to the discussion of specifically anti-feminist stories. And here they discuss a fic called "How About a Raffle?" in which -- it's a Kirk/Uhura fic, and Kirk accidentally sells Uhura into slavery.

Anika: Yikes. I don't think that just happens. Like I was gonna say it happens, but no. No, that's not not true. It doesn't just happen.

Liz: They're dealing with some Orions, and Uhura enters a dance contest, but it turns out that the winner is, like, the top slave or something.

Anika: Oh my God.

Liz: It's still racist.

Anika: I like the attempt to world build for the Orions

Liz: Don't get carried away. Mary Louise Dodge, the author, quote, "Rose and astonished the floor by stating that they were anti-feminist, and anyway, the Orion dancers were only humanoid, not human or intelligent."

Anika: Big yikes!

Liz: Big yikes indeed!

Anika: That is straight up from, you know, stories about masters--

Liz: Straight up slavery?

Anika: Yeah. Like, you know, and, yeah, bad. Bad. Don't ever go there ever. [laughs] I don't want to be an anti...

Liz: Well, it's interesting! I looked up Mary Louise Dodge, and she was involved in fandom for a really long time. She was on the Welcommittee, she ran the mailroom, she organized cons. She wrote a lot of fic. And I feel like we would have crossed paths, had I been in fandom at the time, because she was very much a het writer. And she wrote a lot of Kirk/Uhura, which I probably would have shipped back then.

And she was very vocally anti-slash and anti-porn. I've actually put a note here, that I guess you could call her fandom's first anti. After one con, she wrote a famous letter to a bunch of zines, complaining that there was smut -- smutty zines and smutty art openly displayed on the floor and in the art show. And, you know, "why can't we get back to the good wholesome values of the 1960s?"

Anika: Yay for concern trolling having a deep history.

Liz: You know, I do think smut should be opt-in. And certainly, she is the person responsible for, like, age statements in zines and stuff. And there were a lot of things in fan culture at the time that wouldn't be acceptable today, like dressing up as Spock and Kirk's erect penises. Can you imagine going to, like, Comic Con in that costume?

Anika: And seeing that?

Liz: Yeah, yeah. But at the same time, like, she's not talking about consent, she's talking about -- she just hates smut and hates slash, and is quite deeply homophobic.

Anika: Right.

Liz: And doesn't apologize, which I enjoy, but I've sort of started thinking of her as the Phyllis Schlafly of fandom.

Anika: You're Wrong About, the podcast, just did a deep dive into Tipper Gore versus, you know, like heavy metal, basically,

Liz: It's sitting in my podcast feed, but the Reply All expose on Bon Appetit came up and took precedence.

Anika: I understand your priorities. But it really reminds me of all this stuff. Not just what we're talking about here with Mary Louise, but also with the whole anti culture now.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: And even in academia, the idea that should you put a content warning or not on your syllabus? And there is a difference between opting in, like, having it having it be clear what something is, versus censorship.

Liz: Yes!

Anika: And it's like, we've been talking about this for fifty years, and we still haven't figured that out. And it's just really interesting.

And the issue is that if you look at what Mary Louise has problems with, versus what Tipper Gore has problems with, versus what the whole anti-Reylo crowd have problems with, it's like the bar shifts, but what it comes down to is, "I don't like this, and therefore, it shouldn't be a part of society."

Liz: Yeah, as opposed to, "I don't like this, therefore, I don't want to see it."

Anika: Right. Which is the whole argument for, you know, using tags.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: And using databases and having the little sticker that says explicit lyrics. It's not hurting anyone. But if there was like -- they wanted the occult stickers, and it's like, guys, you can't just go around saying, you know, "This is the occult." There are certain things that are subjective, and you can't decide to have a label that has that level of subjectivity.

Liz: Yeah. Yeah.

Anika: That's a slippery slope towards, you know, "Oh, now we're gonna have Muslim stickers, or we're gonna have Jewish stickers." You know, it gets really bad really quickly.

Liz: And there are certainly parts of America where Catholicism would get an occult sticker.

Anika: Exactly. So it's just really -- there are levels. And this is a conversation that, like I said, we've been having for a long time, and I think we're going to continue having for a long time.

Liz: I think it's good that we keep having this conversation, because the context is always changing. And we need to keep examining it.

Anika: As much as we were talking about the Lorca and Michael slave fic, that I'm not going to read and I'm not going to encourage in any way. But I also am not going to say she can't write it or post it. I just want to opt out.

And the same with Mary Louise and her "Let's accidentally sell Uhura into slavery." Like, that's nothing I ever want to read, and I'm kind of upset hearing about it. But okay, you're, you're allowed to do that. I don't want to read it. And I want to know that it's gonna happen so that I don't have to read it.

Liz: And, you know, the problem with AO3 is that there is no way to block this author, or to stop this fic from appearing in every single tag that the author applies. And I think particularly blocking someone is an option that they really need. When you look at zines, it's much, much harder to avoid -- unless you only subscribe to zines whose editors won't publish Mary Louise Dodge. And I'm sure that there were some, she seems to have been incredibly polarizing. But what if you want, you know, Nice Hetfic Zine issue three, and it has five great stories and one Mary Louise Dodge?

Anika: Right, exactly. The reason that we keep talking about it is there's no easy answer. There's just compromises. And it's hard. It's a thorny question.

Liz: And for the record, I would have subscribed to Nice Hetfic Zine issue three. And then I would have written a snarky letter to its letter column complaining about Mary Louise Dodge and her terrible fic, because that was acceptable at the time.

Anika: Exactly. That's the other thing. It's so interesting.

Liz: Yeah!

Anika: It's so interesting. And then, you know, comments on AO3 are like I would say at least eighty percent positive.

Liz: Yeah. And I think that's because comments are for the author. Whereas this is a review culture rather than a feedback culture.

Anika: Oooh, that's good.

Liz: So the discussion is less -- it's more readers talking to readers, than readers talking to writers.

Anika: Yes. That's another thing that I kind of wish we still had, fanfic treated as -- like, I would love to read some reviews or a deep dive into one author's recurring themes, or something like that. I would be super into it. I understand that people wouldn't like it -- the authors. But I would love it. And honestly, I wouldn't mind if people did it for me.

Liz: I was just going to say, the themes of domesticity -- and you write a lot of baby fic, but it's not because [you're going], "Oh, babies are so cute. I love children!" I'm sure you do, babies are cute. But it's about, "What do we, as flawed parents, pass on to our children? And how do we make them better than -- how do we make their lives better than what we've had?" And this seems to recur in all of your fics that I've read in any fandom.

Anika: So strange that I'm obsessed with the relationship between parents and children and their parents! Mm, so strange. And trauma. I know the things that I focus on. I focus on adoption, I focus on identity. I focus on sibling relationships. Like, these are things that are -- I think I've said before that everything I write is actually about me. I don't have to put a Mary Sue in anything, a nd I don't have very many original characters. But I one hundred percent give Katrina Cornwell my own backstory.

Liz: Right. And I've seen that in your fic. She -- often in your fics, she has lost a parent at a young age, and is dealing with that even into adulthood. But it doesn't feel like, oh, yeah, that's just Anika putting her own thing on Kat. It feels like exploring.

Anika: Yeah. Yeah, at least that's my intention. But yeah, so I would love to be even a part of like, a book club, or something where we meet each other and talk about it. Like, I think that would be so fun. And I'm sort of sad that that culture doesn't exist anymore.

Liz: It's sort of like how bookmarks on AO3 are for readers rather than writers. And sometimes, like, there's a piece of feedback that was attached -- it wasn't feedback, it was just a note attached to a bookmark of one of my fics that said, "really good handling of disability." And I was like, "This is the greatest feedback I have ever not really received."

But the other thing is, quite a few years ago, in Doctor Who fandom, I created a sock puppet and started reviewing the fics that were nominated for an award. It started out as a very mean, bitchy sort of thing to do, because I thought that the fics being nominated were not award-worthy -- note my own fics were nominated. So I was not a neutral observer.

But I wound up finding like it was a really interesting way of reading outside of my usual field and going, "Okay, well, this is a Ten/Rose fic, and I don't ship that. And this fic is almost entirely made up of things that don't resonate with me at all, and now I understand why I don't read this fit this sort of in this genre. But this is actually a really good fic, and I think that if you were a Ten/Rose shipper, you would really like it."

And then, you know, one of my so called friends revealed my identity on an anon meme, and there was wank, and people still think I'm one of the worst people in Doctor Who fandom which, yeah, it was a whole thing. I don't recommend doing this. It was not great. But in terms of reviewing fics as pieces of literature, it was a really interesting experience. And I actually had people say, "Hey, will you review my fic?"

Anika: I don't use beta readers very often, because I have a very particular way of writing, and I like my style, and I don't want to change it. So I don't give it to people and say, "Does this make sense? Did I forget something? You know, is this good?" I just don't need someone to tell me that before it's published.

Liz: Yep.

Anika: But once it's published, I would love someone to read it and critique it. I don't know why.

Liz: You are flying without a wire!

Anika: I just don't want to change it while I'm writing it. But I would love to know what people think of it after the fact.

Liz: That's -- that's very interesting!

And I do use a beta reader -- hi, I know you're listening -- because I have this problem where I don't close quotation marks, and she's very good at finding stuff like that. And she also knows when to tell me that I'm disappearing up my own butt, and when I am doing something really cool that she's enjoying, and I appreciate that. I appreciate you a lot.

Back to the essay, Jean Lorrah replied that it was not the treatment of the Orion women that was irritating, but Kirk's condescending good old boy attitude, "the cute little girl is drunk," and that that attitude coming from the female characters was unfortunately common in Trek literature. "Do my thinking for me."

Anika: Yeah.

Liz: They sort of move on to original characters. And apparently there was a trend of pairing off McCoy with a sweet, innocent eighteen-year-old girls.

Anika: Again, I don't want to be an anti. But why? What is that about?

Liz: Yeah, it's not the sort of thing that I find appealing.

Anika: My note here is just "yikes". I mean, doesn't McCoy have an eighteen-year-old daughter?

Liz: Yes. And according to Mary Louise, there was a lot of fic where he slept with his daughter. And I know--

Anika: No, no.

Liz: But because I don't fully trust Mary Louise is a source, I'm like, is that one fic she saw and it was an outlier and probably written to shock, like the notorious Draco/Lucius skullfucking fic, or was it an actual trend? And I'm pretty sure I really--

Anika: I'm disturbed. But I'm also like, wow, what was going on? What was that about? I'm very curious. I mean, I guess because McCoy is the oldest, and is the most paternal, but he's also the most, like, I don't want to say feminine, but, like, feminine.

Liz: He's a very caring person.

Anika: And so it's interesting. It's very interesting, you know, and I could definitely imagine being an eighteen-year-old girl, and deciding that I wanted to date, McCoy. Or like, I could imagine, of all of the people in Star Trek, he would be the best relationship, I can sort of see it going that way, and ending up with this crazy fic. But if it was a trend ... I'm just so interested. It's so weird.

Liz: And the thing is, these weren't eighteen-year-old girls generally writing these fics, these were, like housewives?

Anika: Yeah, housewives.

Liz: Yeah, adult women.

Anika: It's like the whole "Twilight is read by teenage girls and their mothers" thing.

Liz: Yes.

Anika: This is what it sounds like. To me.

Liz: This is not to disparage either housewives or mothers who read Twilight, because I feel like housewives, stereotypically, and middle aged women are as dismissed as teenage girls. But it's just interesting.

Anika: And they don't make anybody any money.

Liz: There's a very nice remark here. "Some of the reasons for badly drawn female characters is simply bad writing, and male characters are just as unrealistic, but this can improve." And then they talk about a specific series again, it looks like a series, like, pairing Sarek with a lady named Lorna. So Sarek gets his own Mary Sue.

Anika: I have to go off on a tangent on this because Lorna is a very specific name. It's pretty old fashioned at this point, like now, but my last name, Dane, is taken from Lorna Dane, who was an X Men character created in 1968. She was introduced in 1968, but then she joined the team in the late '70s. So Lorna Dane is Polaris, and she is Magneto's daughter, at least seventy-five percent of the time.

Liz: Right. His kids seem to have fluctuating identities.

Anika: And she's my favorite X Men, X Men, X Woman, whatever. X. My favorite X. So when I was published in a book of comic book essays, I was published under the name Anika Dane Milik. And so when I got divorced, and I changed my name, I just went to Dane.

Liz: That makes sense. Yes.

Anika: But it's like, it's Lorna, it's Lorna Dane, that's who it is. And this idea that this character that was created in the mid to late '70s, as Sarek's wife after Amanda died, I'm like, so, Sarek is now a part of my identity. And I am really excited about that! And apparently, Lorna's last name is Mitchell, so it's like Gary Mitchell's daughter, Lorna. But she's from the past. Everything about it is amazing. Everything about this, I had to look it up, and I'm so excited by the whole idea.

Liz: This sounds fantastic.

Anika: I love it. I love it, and now I get to be, in some universes, married to Sarek.

Liz: I am deeply sorry for you.

Then they go on to remark that from Lorna in one fic to Lorna in another, "there has been a vast elevation of consciousness". And it's like, as I read that, like my clothes turned into flares and my hair centre-parted... just peak '77

Anika: Yeah, you started hearing … what's that song from Hair.

Liz: Oh, I was dreaming about Hair last night.

Anika: It was like in my head. But, you know, the morning song.

Liz: Yeah, yeah.

Anika: "In the... nah, nah, nah." That song. Anyway, you start hearing that song, I start hearing that song, just can't remember the lyrics.

And that sentence is also so supremely Lorna Dane. The reason that I love Lorna Dane so much is that she's completely different every single time you meet her. She has all of these like, weird relationships with her parents, both Magneto and then her adoptive parents. Her relationships are all crazy. And she never feels good enough, and she's an only child, and all she ever wants is siblings. And she's -- there's so much. And it's literally crazy. I mean, everything in the X Men is crazy. But she is, by far, one of the most -- like just the fact that every other story she's either Magneto's daughter or not is enough.

Liz: Honestly, I'm getting very powerful Wanda Maximoff vibes from this?

Anika: Oh, yeah, exactly.

Liz: I find it interesting that Magneto's daughters tend to be sort of very fluid, dynamic characters whose personalities and backstories are always changing.

Anika: And going back to something we were just discussing in this essay, there's this sort of idea that Magneto can be super powerful, and be able to destroy the planet at a whim, and he is very serious and sad, and we have a lot of respect for him even if we don't agree with him.

Whereas Wanda and Lorna have the same amount of power and can destroy things, and they are crazy. And they need to be, have to be--

Liz: They're unstable and they need to be stopped.

Anika: --locked up, and are a danger to themselves and others. And it's like, okay, so Magneto definitely tried to take over the world four times, but he's not a danger to himself or others? You created an entire prison for him that no one else would ever need, yet he's not considered crazy or unstable or dangerous the way that Wanda and Lorna are.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: That's a thing.

Liz: The next note in this essay is that a common theme in feminist Treklit is responsibility, and stories about women being given responsibility and handling it properly, or needing to learn responsibility and doing so.

My note here was, "Are women people?" but it turns out that this is a story that the comics and superhero genre, at least, is still grappling with, and I think WandaVision is doing it in a really interesting way. And Wanda's allies are Monica and what's her face? Darcy.

Anika: Darcy

Liz: Yeah. And Jimmy Wu, and to a lesser extent right now, Vision. But these, with one exception, are not white people -- sorry, not white men. And--

Anika: And Vision is played by a white man but I don't -- like he's one of those on the line kind of people.

Liz: Yeah, I'm just -- Paul Bettany...

Anika: He is a white man but he's also not, in the context of the story.

Liz: My feelings about Paul Bettany are very complicated for Johnny Depp reasons. So I'm lukewarm on wanting to see him, ever. But his performance is great, and all. And I just think it's depressing that this [storyline] is still something that media struggles with.

Anika: And it one hundred percent is. It's something that -- I mean, look at Rey.

Liz: Yes. So--

Anika: That's gonna be my answer to everything. Yeah, women are not people is generally the key. Women are vessels that we can put ideas onto, I guess, is the way it goes.

Liz: Yeah. And then the other issue they discuss is issues that are of specific concern to women, or of special concern to women, rather, and they talk about a fic where, quote, "a rape case threatens to obscure the issue of a female officer's rights by triggering an overprotective reaction".

Which, again, going by TOS alone, seems like a pretty valid basis for a fic -- look at look at all those episodes where Janice Rand is attacked, and the only people she has to go to about it are Kirk, Spock and McCoy. Even if it was Kirk's evil double that attacked her.

Anika: It's just bad.

Liz: It's -- yeah.

Anika: Again, I'm really interested in this idea that they wrote -- they were writing stories about rape, and not -- I mean, I haven't read the story, but it doesn't seem like it was sensationalizing rape. It seems like it was, "Hey, this is a thing that happened in canon that didn't get the treatment that I want. And so let's talk about that."

Liz: Yes. "And let's talk about how, not not the rape itself, but the reaction afterwards impedes justice, and recovery." That's super interesting, and still contemporary!

Anika: And still contemporary.

Liz: And then they talk about Mary Sue, and, you know, everyone on the Enterprise is extraordinary. But if you create a woman who is extraordinary, then she's a Mary Sue. And they debate, you know, do you write a male character and then make it female? Or do you try and create a three dimensional woman?

And I still see these discussions now, and I'm like, whatever gets you to a good character is a valid technique.

Anika: A couple of things really jumped out at me. One was "showed some problems Spock could have if he had been female, as well as first officer."

Liz: Yeah!

Anika: I'm very picky about gender swap fic. Because it can be done so poorly, so easily.

Liz: Yes.

Anika: But that's a really interesting question. If everything was the same, except Spock was a woman, what would that mean? I'm interested in that. And if it was done well, then it could be a really amazing story.

Liz: Right?

Anika: So I love that they're bringing these questions up. And then another one was, "when one writes a female officer onto the ship, and part of this usually lies with her occupation: what does she do? Why is she on the ship, and what is her function when she is sent down to the planet?"

And I'm just like, uh, I'm pretty sure you'd have to ask those questions about any original character that you made up?

Liz: Yeah. Men can have jobs too!

Anika: And so what it comes down to is that -- it goes back to the earlier comment about how there weren't women in the show, and the women that were in the show didn't get to do what the men did, that Uhura got to take command once, ever.

Liz: Yes.

Anika: And it was too late, basically.

Liz: And it was in the animated series. Which to an extent--

Anika: Which, who even watched?

Liz: Yeah, I don't want to say it doesn't count. But it's only just now being treated as a serious and valid part of the Star Trek universe. Aside from "Yesteryear".

Anika: So really, it's really interesting that they were sort of asking these questions seriously, amongst themselves, you know, and treating it with any kind of gravity, 'cos (a) I think the answer is obvious.

Liz: Yes.

Anika: And (b), we shouldn't have to answer this. What it's just the whole thing of "let's create a male character and, and write it as a man and then switch it at the end." Like, yeah, sure. And if you're not going to do that, which is fine, because gender does have an impact -- or you know, can, I should say can have an impact -- it's okay for someone's gender to have a meaning to them. But you shouldn't have an emotional and intellectual quandary about why this woman is on this ship.

Liz: If you wouldn't have that same quandary for a male character, why are you having it for this lady?

Anika: Right! They belong on the ship. That's my answer.

Liz: She's on the ship because that's her job. It's where Starfleet told her to be, the end.

Anika: Finally, the one that really, you know, just made me smile. "One dead giveaway of a Mary Sue is when everyone on the ship loves her except Kirk." That is my favorite fun fact that I've never heard before.

Liz: No, me neither. I've seen Mary Sues where Kirk loves her and Spock doesn't. And I've seen all sorts of Mary Sues, and they're all great.

Anika: It was just amazing. I I loved that idea. The idea that people are reading a story, and all of a sudden Kirk doesn't like someone, and they're like, "Mary Sue!" And that's it, that character is tainted and you can't see that character as anything other than a Mary Sue. It's just crazy. But amazing. And I'm not saying that it's not true. I just think it's hilarious.

Liz: I don't think it's a data point that became universal. Like you don't see this in Star Trek Mary Sue litmus tests. Remember litmus tests? Wow. Speaking of fandom history!

Anika: They were like 80 questions long.

Liz: I know!

Anika: And you had to put it in, and then it would tell you if your original character was a Mary Sue or not. And I will tell you, I don't write a lot of original characters, like I said, I never put in any original characters. But I constantly put in my version of canon characters. And the thing is that more than fifty percent of my answers were canon. I wasn't making things up about these people.I was reading the canon, when I was answering the question as my interpretation of the character that I saw on screen.

Liz: No, this makes perfect sense to me because -- I think it's Seanan McGuire who had an essay on LiveJournal, pointing out that "Mary Sue" is just another word for protagonist.

Anika: Exactly. So usually I would get, "You are close to the line of crossing over into Mary Sue-dom and you should take away at least one flaw," or, you know, something like that. It's just like, okay!

Liz: Whatevs!

Anika: I will tell Gene Roddenberry?

Liz: Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, I need to summon the ghost of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to tell him that Sherlock Holmes is a Mary Sue.

Anika: You know who's a real Mary Sue? Watson.

Liz: Yes!

Anika: One hundred percent a Mary Sue.

Liz: I feel like Holmes is the idealized Mary Sue and Watson is the self insert Mary Sue.

Anika: Mm, I can see that.

Liz: "The panel then fled from Mary Sue stories."

Anika: As did we all.

Liz: And they talk about how it's difficult to create a good female character, because there aren't many templates to draw from in Star Trek. And--

Anika: Like I said.

Liz: Yeah. "There are plenty of strong masculine characters to work from, but very few women."

Anika: And that's the thing. Again, here in 2021, every woman in Star Trek has been called a Mary Sue at least once.

Liz: And honestly, most of [the women in TOS] are pretty interesting. Like, they're not necessarily strong people. But generally, they're more complex than we give credit for.

Anika: Right. So it's --first of all, just stop talking about Mary Sues and let it go. That's that's my take number one. And take number two, just because a woman is a woman and a new character in an old fandom does not mean that they are a Mary Sue automatically.

Liz: Yeah.

Then they talk about -- it's sort of a digression, which obviously we're familiar with here. "Most blonde women were dependent and ineffectual, well, brunettes were usually forceful, and control their own destinies." And they give the example of Majel Barrett, who goes from Number One to Chapel.

I had never thought of this, and I think overall, as a pattern, it holds for The Original Series. But I also think that there were, you know, existing stereotypes about blondes versus brunettes.

Anika: Yeah, I don't think that Star Trek--

Liz: No.

Anika: I don't think Star Trek created that idea.

Liz: No, you know, [in] Marilyn Monroe movies, she always has a brunette offsider, who's a lot smarter and more together than she is.

Anika: So strange, it's like, blondes are more beautiful and have more fun, and people are more interested in them. But the brunettes are the smart ones. And the ones with depth. That is just -- like, this is weird, okay?

Liz: Unless you get the sort of Hitchcock blonde who is terribly intelligent, but also cold and damaged. And that's Seven of Nine.

Anika: Yes.

Liz: But it's also interesting that they cite Chapel, because the whole reason that I wanted to do an episode on zines is that I have a paper copy of issue 25 of T-negative, which has a wonderful essay about Christine Chapel, basically saying, everyone writes her off as a dumb blonde with no agency who's only in love with Kirk. [Obviously I meant Spock, don't @ me…] And actually she is a really, really interesting character. And then the author goes on to discuss Christine in both canon and in fiction.

It was a wonderful essay, and I was going to cite it -- we talked about doing a Chapel episode, but Women at Warp had just done one. Justice for Christine Chapel, who's not even a character I really care about. But this essay made me want to.

Anika: Right, that's my take on a lot -- you know, there's the characters that I really, really, really care about, and everybody who listens to this podcast could name them. And then there's all the other women characters who -- like, I will meet you in an alley and punch you--

Liz: Right?

Anika: --to protect them, I will one hundred percent go to battle for every woman on Star Trek.

Liz: Yes. Even the ones I don't like

Anika: Because all of the arguments against them are sexist. That's where I'm at.

Liz: One day, I'm going to present the argument that Lwaxana Troi is narcissistic, and not necessarily fully abusive to Deanna, but she is not good to Deanna. And that's the only argument that I will accept against Lwaxana.

Anika: And the difference is that that is a critique of Lwaxana as a person, which is totally fair.

Liz: It's not just "she's middle aged and thinks she's sexy."

Anika: Right, we shouldn't put women on a pedestal, either. But the critiques aren't critiques, they're just, "I don't like" -- again, it's, "I don't like this, and I'm going to write them off." I just watched Star Trek 2009.

Liz: You did!

Anika: And I am so ready to go to battle for Uhura. Like, it's upsetting to me. I've seen that movie many times now. You know, like a dozen, let's say, -- I don't know.

Liz: I've seen it twice!

Anika: And I can just hear all the negative comments as I'm watching the show. Like, I'm sitting here and I'm watching the movie, and I just hear all this chatter. You know, Uhura is telling Spock to put her on the Enterprise, and there's eight hundred voices in my head saying how she's a nagging girlfriend. And I just like, "No, no, she is not!" She is standing up for herself the way that any person should, and the fact -- their relationship is a wrinkle to it. It is not the reason for it. And if Kirk did exactly the same thing, people would be applauding him.

Liz: Yes, yes.

Anika: So I can't. As I was watching the movie, every single thing that Uhura did, I imagined Kirk doing it, and having all of the people like you know, saying "Oh, he was the best version of Kirk." I was just like, ugh! And I know I'm saying that as someone who thinks that Chris Pine is the best version of Kirk...

Liz: You know, there are credible rumours that Strange New Worlds is going to feature a young Uhura. There's a casting call for a young African American woman to play a comms officer, whose name in the casting call is African, just as Uhura is based on the Swahili.

And I see people going, "Oh, good, Strange New Worlds is going to fix Uhura, they're going to do her properly." And I'm like, no, they're just going to do her differently. Peck!Spock is not better than Quinto!Spock. They're just different interpretations of Nimoy!Spock.

Anika: Mm hmm.

Liz: Anyway.

Anika: Yeah, so sorry, tangent, but I just get super defensive of these women characters because people are against them for really silly reasons.

Liz: Moving on, we hit a marvelous piece of fake news. "Another problem with female characters is that feminism can become too much an issue."

Anika: Oh, dear. I love this because literally like two paragraphs before that, they're saying that feminism is the reason like -- that the lack of female characters is the reason that it's hard to write female characters. It's like, guess what, guys, you're being feminist in that argument. And so now, these women are saying that there's too much feminism in my Star Trek, and I -- again, I'm pretty defensive.

Liz: They cite this amazing sounding fic when Number One is now -- it says in this recap, she is now an alien ambassador. But according to the Fanlore page for the fic itself, she is the captain of the USS Hood. And any Friends of DeSoto can just take a moment to say, "Best boss I ever had."

She sits down with a Romulan commander and they both, quote, "bitch interminably about being trodden on by the men in their lives, losing the plot amongst the complaints."

And like, maybe the fic is sort of hijacked by this, and the story it promised to tell is not the story that eventually came out. I just really, really want to read this fic.

Anika: I really want to read it too. And that's what I'm saying, that is the kind of stuff that I love to read and write in fic, which has absolutely nothing to do with the plot, but is all about their feelings and their lives and their interpretation of what's going on.

Liz: And I just love the idea of Number One and a Romulan, comparing notes. I'm just saying, the Romulans had women in command before the Federation.

Anika: Yeah. I ship it.

Liz: And they note that the theme of women cooperating with women is a good one, and just beginning to develop. And, you know, I still get a weird warm, self-righteous glow whenever I write that in my fic, so I'm glad it's still a thing. I wish it was more of a thing. And then they move on--

Anika: This is the best.

Liz: --to the most important question. What about the men?

Anika: Okay, so again, I have to tell a story about today. My most popular fanvid on YouTube is a vid about the animated women in Star Wars. So it's all animation, Rebels and Clone Wars. And that's -- actually, I made it before Resistance. So that's it, Rebels and Clone Wars. And this one is what I'm one of, if not my best -- and it's my most popular, right? And it's ages old now. Like I said, pre the last season of Rebels.

And I still get comments all the time, because, again, it's the one that shows up in the algorithm or whatever. And today I got this amazing comment that was just one question. Four words. "What about man person?"

Liz: Man person!

Anika: Man person! And I just started laughing and laughing. I was like, Okay, I'm designing a T-shirt that just says, "What about man person?" and I'm buying one for all of my friends, because that is an amazing comment.

Liz: I think that we need to release stickers on RedBubble that say, "What about man person?"

Anika: "What about man person?" Like, that -- it was just so good. That's how I ended up with "social justice Klingon warrior" in my Twitter bio, because somebody accused me of being a social justice warrior for Klingons, and I was like, yup, yes I am.

Liz: Well, we've found this episode's title.

[I realise that Anika specifies that it's four words, and then I used three in the title, but, ummmmm, anyway, changing these things post-release is a pain.]

Anika: What about man person?

Liz: What about man person?

Anika: Like, okay, dude, this video is literally a celebration of women. That's, that's the title. That's what it says, Star Wars: Women. I made one for Star Trek, too: Star Trek: Women.

Liz: But, Anika, what about man person?

Anika: Go watch Star Trek! Go watch, literally the entire original trilogy and most of the rest. And you can find all the man person you want.

Liz: So the discussion here, what about man person? Why aren't men writing Trek fic? "There are many males in Trek, why aren't they writing? One suggestion was that men can't take criticism very well. And women are used to it."

Anika: I mean, every answer that they come up with is actually kind of great.

Liz: It is! But I'm like, people call us misandrists, and look at this!

"Criticism is a good tool. The Star Trek world would seem to appeal to males. One expects Marty Sues but gets Mary Sues. But many male Trekfen don't want to write about it, instead want to be in it."

And I think this is really interesting, because if you look at the fanworks which are dominated by men at the writing and production level, it's fan films. And there's the perennial post on the Star Trek subreddit, "Hey, I just wrote a Star Trek novel, how do I get it published?" And they never want my AO3 invite.

Anika: Yeah! I mean, I think that this is actually a really amazing insight that is absolutely true. Like, in, in all fandom--

Liz: Yeah. And I think--

Anika: --men--

Liz: Go on.

Anika: Do that. Like women -- I think we've discussed before how there's the transformative versus, like, critical or or--

Liz: Collecting?

Anika: Collector, yeah. Yeah. And, again, we just said there aren't enough women doing stuff in Star Trek in 1977. And so they were, they were saying, "Hey, I'm going to create a woman character who does something." And whereas the men are like, "I'm going to, you know, make a movie where I play Captain Kirk."

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: And somehow, they don't see that as fanfic?

[Note from Liz: it's not that there's anything wrong with that approach! I just find it weird how things like Star Trek Continues are treated as semi-canonical, whereas fic mostly … is not.]

[Oh no, do we need to start doing eps on fic the way other podcasts do eps on fan films?]

Liz: No, no. A few years ago, pre pandemic, I saw the play Puffs, which is essentially a Gary Stu fic in the form of a play. And it's a professional piece of theatre! You can see it on Broadway Online or something, and I highly recommend it. It was a good evening. I have very mixed feelings about Harry Potter these days, but it was a lot of fun.

But it struck me that "the ordinary kid gets his Hogwarts letter and goes to Hogwarts and is on the periphery of the events of Harry's school years" is a fic that I have seen many, many times. And the difference is--

Anika: So many times.

Liz: The difference is like those fics were mostly written by women. And this guy was like, "Oh, yeah, that's a valid idea. I'm going to write a play, and I am going to make it enough of a parody that it is a professional endeavor." And it's just interesting that men are more--

Anika: Willing to do that.

Liz: Yeah! And I think it's -- I love fan fiction, and I love that we have this community of amateur writers who love something, but do we, as the women and marginalized people of fandom, need to be more open to also being professionals? Or does something get lost in that?

Anika: Yeah. It's a really good question because I am very much of the opinion that if all you want to do is write fan fiction, more power to you.

Liz: Absolutely.

Anika: That is absolutely valid. That is you're still a writer. You can call yourself a writer. You are a creative. You are coming up with something that someone else didn't do. Your fic is original, even if it's fanfic.

Liz: Right, and even if it's using tropes and ideas that have been used before, unless you are literally copying and pasting from someone else's story, it is still unique.

Anika: Right.

Liz: They speculate that boys aren't interested in writing. "It's cute in girls and effeminate in boys in the high school years, and boys should go out and do it, not daydream." And I think there might be some level of truth in that. Or certainly, there may have been then. And, you know, toxic masculinity and all of that.

Anika: So here's what I wrote after I copied that over into my notes, that sentence, "writing is looked upon as cute in girls, effeminate in boys". And the sentence that I wrote is, "Hey, is it possible that this nonsense is why we have so few women writing trek novels right now?"

Liz: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.

Anika: Just an idea. Just a thought.

Liz: They do go on to note, "most SF writers and men, but that that isn't Trek."

Anika: And also, that's not true.

Liz: Yeah. Even back then that was not true.

Anika: Sorry. That definitely wasn't true in the '70s. There were many women writing science fiction in the '70s.

Liz: This was the age of McCaffrey and Butler and Le Guin. And more. Those are just the ones we remember!

Anika: Literally everything I read in the '80s was written in the '70s. So that's just wrong.

Liz: Joanna Russ was writing Kirk/Spock fic and also science fiction novels.

Anika: Exactly. It's society. It's not us. It's not me and you who's keeping Una McCormack as the only woman allowed to write Star Trek right now.

Liz: Right, right.

Anika: Like, it's the people in charge. And the people in charge have decided that science fiction should only be written by men, and they are going to like, make that happen.

Liz: Right? And so it's interesting that men seem to self exclude from fan fiction. I think that's less true now than it was then. But it's certainly interesting because they go on, there's a bit down here, "at least a third of Trekfen are male." [laughs] I died!

But they speculate that "perhaps the dearth of men in zines is self perpetuating, since male writers are reluctant to submit their precious manuscripts to female criticism."

Anika: That is true. Like, I will say, I know some male writers who have not submitted their manuscripts because they don't want to hear it. And I said a while ago that I don't have a beta reader for the same reason, so I'm not saying that they shouldn't be like that. But it is a thing.

Liz: No, no. What struck me was that with the internet, like the gatekeepers in the editorial process disappeared for fan fiction and we see some more men now than we had then. But still not that many. And it's like it's a mystery to me.

Anika: I don't know any.

Liz: Writing fan fiction is great. Why would you not?

Anika: There aren't any men in our Kat Cornwell discord. There are a couple of non binary people, but no men?

Liz: Certainly no cis men. Is it just not a community that's appealing to cis men?

Anika: And why? Is it because they're not paid for it and you have to like, you know, "I hunt and gather and bring everything in"? Again the patriarchy is bad for everybody. Capitalism is bad for everybody.

Liz: There's a very strange and amusing digression here: "Cogswell and Spano ((MAY SLIME DEVILS INFEST THEIR TYPEWRITER)) were mentioned as trotting around at cons, getting opinions for Spock Mess--but again, those are pros ((SUCH AS THEY ARE))."

And I assume that Cogswell and Spano are nicknames. I don't know what Spock Mess is. I didn't really get any useful Google results. It might be a zine.

I was wondering if maybe they were nicknames for Harlan Ellison or Isaac Asimov or David Gerrold, who were all part of the fan community and were certainly known as people who trotted around at cons. Gerrold was deeply hated by a lot of women in fandom because he's a complete donkey, and was not able to say "I don't care for slash" without also saying, "slash is written by fat ugly housewives who need to get laid."

Anika: Ugh. Yeah, so--

Liz: Thanks for the tribbles, mate, you can just move along.

Anika: Again, fine, you don't have to read the slash. But that's just "I don't like this thing...."

Liz: If anyone out there knows who this aside refers to please, tell us because I require much gossip.

Anika: Also, I kind of want to have an opinion on Spock Mess.

Liz: Yeah, I would very much like to know what it is so that I can have an opinion on it.

Anika: I'd really like to have an opinion about it. So let me know what that means.

Liz: "It's a waste if we can get mediocre rotten and fairly good ideas from female authors, why not from male?"

Anika: Okay, look, I don't actually need men to have a bigger footprint in fandom, because they have reality.

Liz: It's true. It's true. But fandom was so female dominated back then, "at least a third of Trekren are male," that I understand why, in these formative years, it would have been nicer to have 50/50.

And then it goes, "Masculine domination of straight SF was brought up again, with the observation that SF is written by and large for adolescent males."

No, that is not true! That was not true in the 70s!

"And that the field has been changing to human relationship or alien relationship stories, largely on account of the female writers." Who did exist!

And I love that they discuss original SF alongside fic. "Treklit."

Anika: Yeah, that they're basically talking about them the same way. Like, these are both forms of science fiction writing.

Liz: Right. And like I said, Joanna Russ was writing Kirk/Spock fic. And these days, Naomi Novik is the founder of AO3, and also writing acclaimed novels, which I personally do not care for, but I don't read them and don't complain that they exist.

Anika: Because there's a lot of stuff that I don't read and don't complain that it exists. I'll just put that out there.

Liz: Because I'm sort of in the con organizing scene, I pay a lot of attention to like Hugos, and I nominate and I try to read as many of the nominated works as I can. And sometimes I'm like, No, no, this is a bad year for works specifically designed to appeal to me.

Anika: I probably read more fan fiction than published science fiction. I'll be honest.

Liz: A lot of people do.

Anika: Partly because it's free. Partly because it's about characters I already love.

Liz: Yeah. And it is so hard to care -- like it takes real skill to create original characters that other people care about. It's hard!

Anika: That is true.

Liz: It's a real skill!

Anika: That is very true. And even when you do -- like, let's take Daenerys Targaryen--

Liz: Alas.

Anika: George R R Martin created her, right? Whatever. Him

Liz: Yes. He made you care about her.

Anika: I guarantee that I care more about Daenerys Targaryen than he does. And I also guarantee I care more about Daenerys Targaryen than DB or the other D.

Liz: I don't know about GRRM, but I absolutely agree with you on that. You win that easily.

Anika: So that's why I'm gonna go read fan fiction about Daenerys Targaryen instead of caring about when Winds of Winter ever comes out.

Liz: But also, you know, you're entering into a contract with a fic writer where they're saying, "Look, I love this character, and I care about them too." And you're like, "Cool, I'm gonna sit with you and we're going to care together."

Anika: Right, we're gonna care together, I'm -- we're going to fix -- like, you know, fix it fic is like a really popular tag for every fandom because every fandom needs to be fixed for someone.

Liz: I was very against the idea of fix it fic as a concept because I'm like, Sure you can change and you can alter what the show does, but ultimately, you know, what I love is canon. And then they blew someone up and I am very pro fix it fic. I am a Cornwell denialist.

Anika: It's interesting. This is where my love of alternate universes comes in, where I can -- like a fix it fic is just an alternate universe, it doesn't mean that the canon didn't happen. It's like, here's a different way it could have gone.

And I love that, because characters who are thrown into many different plots and many different situations and circumstances and the way things went, seeing the similarities, the throughlines, and their strengths and their skills and their innermost being, like, how it comes out? That's what's interesting to me, that's the identity stuff that I'm always talking about. That's like, this is what matters to this character.

Liz: And there's a really interesting writing trick where, if you're not sure you understand your original character, you should go and write an AU of them. So if you're trying to write a fantasy, go scribble out a coffee shop AU and see, see what is actually essential to that character.

Anika: Exactly, yes.

Liz: And now I'm wondering, is the reason for the whole Mary Sue discourse, and this whole discussion about original characters in fan fiction, because a lot of these writers were novices and didn't have the skills to make people care about their original characters?

Anika: Absolutely! I still have some of my fanfic that I wrote when I was 13. And it is bad. Even -- there are two Voyager fics that I wrote way back when that I put on my AO3, because they're the two that I think are acceptable, and they are still bad.

Liz: Oh, yeah.

Anika: They are … like, I put them up because I'm proud of them. But I'm proud of them twenty years ago. You know, it's like, thank God, I have improved since this time.

Liz: The first fic I actually finished was a Savage Garden songfic where Q watches Janeway and Chakotay dance. It is not good at all. But in my defense, I was 14 years old.

Anika: Exactly. And I think that that's, that matters. One thing that I really love about fanfic, and that I love about having a profile on Archive of Our Own, is that I can go back to this stuff that is fifteen years old, and I can say like, Oh, this is like, I'm telling this, this story again, in this new fic. But look at how much I've improved, look at how I've been able to, like, tease those ideas into something so much like -- into so much more of a blossom.

Liz: And with these women who are writing fic in the '70s -- you know, the general profile of a Trekkie back then was a middle-aged, college educated woman who had married straight after college, had children. Maybe she had a part-time job as a receptionist, or a secretary or something like that. But this was her first creative outlet in decades. And her first writing work in decades. And it is the work of intelligent, educated but untrained writers who are practicing. And - - -

Anika: Exactly, practicing.

I love that fanfic doesn't have to have a beginning, a middle and an end. You don't have to waste time on telling them about the character, you can just tell them about what the character is feeling right now, because I already know who Spock is.

So you don't have to tell me who Spock is. You just have to tell me what Spock is doing right now, and how it makes him feel, and how it's different from what he feels in the episode I just watched.

It allows you to hone your skills with a very low like bar. You don't have to prove anything. The worst thing that happens is someone doesn't like your fic.

Liz: And we talked at the beginning, and I guess this brings us full circle, but we talked at the beginning about how the criticisms in this panel were not the sorts of things that would fly today, and people could be really upfront about not liking stuff.

But I read some of the letters of comment for big fics around this time, and there was one, and it's a very well known writer, and I cannot remember who she was - possibly even Paula -- no, not Paula Smith.

Anyway, the letter of comment was basically, "You need to slow down," or, no, "she needs to slow down," it was a letter to the zine, not to the writer.

"She needs to slow down and consider her pacing and really take time to settle into a scene and let things unfold. Because she is not a bad writer now, but she is going to be really, really good when she's comfortable enough to take her time."

And that's really, really fantastic feedback. And put really kindly And so yeah, fandom hasn't changed that much.

Anika: You know, you can go to college for literature, or whatever, and mostly you get beaten down. And you get told, you know, this is what you're doing wrong, and this is the way you need to do better.

And fanfic is the opposite, where it's like, they're not going to tell you how to fix things necessarily. They're gonna encourage you, and even when they say something negative, it's in an encouraging way. And I think that the balance of both is the perfect, you know, that the best way to make a writer is to have both.

Liz: Absolutely.

Are we done? Should I outro?

Anika: I think so.

Liz: Okay. It's really hot here. I need another shower.

Anika: I'm sorry.

Liz: I'm sorry for Texas!

Anika: It is. Yeah, it is cold and snowing here.

Liz: If I could send you my excess heat...

Anika: And I'm not Texas. Thank God.

Liz: Thank you for listening to Antimatter Pod. You can find our show notes at antimatterpod.tumblr.com, including links to our social media and credits for our theme music.

You can follow us on Twitter at @Antimatter Pod, and on Facebook, because as far as Facebook is concerned, we are not a news source. That's a bit of Australian humour for you.

If you like us, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you consume your podcasts.

The more reviews the easier it is for new listeners to find us and join us in two weeks, when we'll be discussing bisexuality and Star Trek.

Anika: It will be great!

#antimatter pod #podcast transcripts

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tbhwhocaresanymore · 4 years

Text

Nancy Drew 1x10

SHE’S BACK BITCHES. DEAD LUCY IS BACK.

Ahem. Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

Okay so I finally had time to rewatch the new Nancy Drew ep and it is just as fantastic as the first time. When you look at it in comparison to episode one you can really see just how much the characters have grown, as individuals and especially as friends. Bess being very obviously in George’s office so she’s not alone with Ryan? Watching George go from hating Nancy’s guts to trying to break open a door with poison on the other side just to get her out? Nancy very resignedly saying to Claire “yeah but they don’t ever listen to me.” Beautiful. And Ace is back from his coma, and it sounds like Lara Tandy also soon will be. The writers are just juggling so many storylines with such a huge cast, and they are doing such a great job which is a nice change of pace from the other shows I watch.

This episode had some phenomenal jump scares, mostly involving Dead Lucy (my literal favorite character). When they entered the gym and the lights and buzzer switched on with no warning? I physically fell out of my chair. And the plot was really good too. It was written like a stand alone episode, but also in a way where it still tied into the overall plot. Nancy hanging all the ghost traps, mentions of her dad’s arrest and her arraignment, the Bonny Scot stuff. As for Claire being the murderer? The second Nancy started showing symptoms and not Claire I grew suspicious, but the plot twist was still wonderfully done, and Claire’s actress did an amazing job for only having like five minutes of lines. Also, Ace’s dad? Huge plus. He seems like a cool character and I am always down for deaf/ASL representation, and they did it so well.

I don’t trust that the Bess being a Marvin storyline is fully wrapped up, it could just go so many different ways. And for it to have been the point of like six episodes only to be wrapped up in thirty seconds? Maybe Bess is not really a Marvin and Owen is playing her to get her to help him with the Bonny Scot case because I still do not totally trust him. But I may be biased here, because the book fan in me is still rooting for her and George to turn out cousins somehow, and if she’s cousins with both George and the Marvins? That’s pushing the suspension of disbelief a little bit.

I also truly do not know where they’re trying to take Ryan Hudson’s character. Maybe going for some sort of morally grey character, or an anti-hero? He told Bess and Owen he wouldn’t help them but he also has an artifact that was clearly from Bonny Scot, and wants to get together with his dad. If I had to guess, and I love to guess, I’d say he’s planning to blackmail his family with it. Whether to just get out, or maybe get recompense for Lucy all those years ago, I don’t know. But I do love that George does not buy his bullshit.

Nancy did a really amazing job this episode. Seeing what her father’s arrest has done to her, how much it has taken away her confidence and made her question herself. I am very much looking forward to her coming out the other side of this stronger than ever. And she is honestly so brilliant. Realizing Claire must have taken an antidote and that it was the ring on her finger because one of the pearls was missing? Are you kidding me? And even though she’s dying, using her possible last breaths to try and find out if this is the woman who killed Tiffany. And then seeing Nancy Drew, badass, crooked cop catching, murder solving, take no prisoners Nancy Drew, asking for mercy, saying she doesn’t want to die, because after all she’s only 19 years old? Spectacular.

All the Nancy and Nick moments? I am officially deceased. When he was performing CPR, his voice cracking as he yelled “come on Nancy!” And then when she woke up and he gave this little sort of half-sob and just held her into him, saying “got you, I got you.” I am dead and these writers have killed me. Then at the end, when they were leaving, and Nick left and Nancy sort of turned around and rested her head against the door. The shipper in me was hoping they would get back together right then, but I also think it’s good that they didn’t. Nick broke up with her because he feels she just doesn't have room for him in her life, I think he’s going to stick with that for a while, regardless of his feelings for her. In the meantime, still pretty sure the writers will go in the Nick x George and Nancy x Owen direction, or maybe Nancy x Ace? This episode definitely showed off their chemistry.

Now I have to talk about this, you know I have to talk about this, I am so looking forward to talking about this.

DEAD LUCY.

As I said, she’s BACK. When Nancy was walking toward the light and you could just sort of see her standing up? Poetic cinema. The second I could sort of see her silhouette I was like “FUCK YES.” Nancy is literally about to die and she’s just like “not today” and screams her back to life. I have two possible reasons. This plays into my Nancy is Lucy’s daughter theory, or it could be that she knows Nancy is her best chance of her murderer getting brought to justice after almost 20 years. And then at the end of the episode, when the camera pans, I legit sat up straighter and leaned toward the tv, all ‘come on where is she’. And then she was there in the closet doorway and I felt so vindicated.

The one downside of having a cast full of amazing characters is I want all of them to be on screen all the time. (Except Owen and Ryan, they can go get married and move to Europe and be shady husbands only mentioned in passing and I would be fine with that.) Chief McGinnis, Lisbeth, Victoria who I am still waiting on, Ace’s dad, Lara Tandy. I want them all to come back.

A few final thoughts moving forward. Is Nancy ever going to get arraigned for breaking and entering? This happened all the way back in episode one or two, and it keeps getting mentioned. I mean at this point Dead Lucy better show up and kill the judge, like I need something important to happen at this thing. I am also now even more invested in my ‘Nancy’s mom killed Lucy’ theory. Her dad isn’t explaining any of the evidence against him away, and the only reason he would do that is to protect Nancy. Now either he is protecting her from the Hudsons, because they told her dad to take the fall and he knows they’ll hurt her if he doesn’t; or, he is protecting her from the knowledge that her mom is a murderer. And because I feel like we’re supposed to think the Hudsons killed Lucy, it makes me think the mom killed her. Speaking of Dead Lucy, I’m hoping there was a specific reason Simon threw her very far away, and it’s not just chalked up to ‘he’s evil’. Still hoping that George eventually becomes psychic like her mom.

Super excited for 1x11 the promo and summary look promising. I have no idea how Carson’s arrest relates to the Bonny Scot sinking, but I can’t wait to find out. And Dead Lucy will be present, which immediately improves any episode quality by five thousand percent. And the episode title, the Phantom of Bonny Scot, makes me think we might be getting another ghost. Fingers crossed.

#Nancy Drew #Nancy Drew cw #Nancy Drew 2019 #George Fan #Bess Marvin #Ned Nick Nickerson #Nancy x Nick #episode analysis #I analyze things #or try to #Dead Lucy #my theories #the mark of the poisoner's pearl

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girllovescomic · 4 years

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Winter Begonia recap episode 29

Of course, the evil stepmother agrees to compete if he gets a chance to go up against his rival. He tries to dash out of there, but Jiang papa is like, Si Xi’er I am not done explaining what I want from you. The evil stepmother is like, nah, I don’t want to hear it, I got some shopping to do. Gotta look good when I face my rival. LOL, ok. Dengbao questions his father for using Si Xi’er in his plan against SXR. He’s like dad, we are not related to that evil stepmother, why are you wasting your time with that tired old queen to get at SXR! Besides, Ning Jiulang has many followers and patrons willing to pay for me, so there is not even a guarantee SXR will be selected, so what’s the deal? Jiang papa is like, son, I am not really supporting Si Xi’er, I just want that tired old queen to disgust SXR. WHAT? HOW? Like, how is that going to work? Despite the animosity, Si Xi’er is not even on the same level as SXR in the nandan department! He claims that by having both of the names mentioned during the competition, it will make it a laughingstock. WHAT? I am trying to follow the logic, but I can’t. No, Dengbao, your dad is not wise at all, he is as much of a dumbass as you.

Meanwhile, my other favorite side couple are discussing the nominees for the Liyuan Competition. The names are Si Xi’er (really, they nominate that bish), Chen Renxiang, Jiang Rongshou (what?), SXR, Ning Jiulang, Hou Yukui... I don’t even know why Xue Qianshan bothers to ask Du Qi who he thinks will win, seriously, you should already know what your boyfriend is going to say. Don’t be jealous and choke on your pipe smoke tho (yall simmer down, I am not talking about that pipe). Indeed, Xue Qianshan, you clearly did not use your brain when you asked that question. He asks Du Qi for his prediction based on that list of those who will move on to the final round. Du Qi declares that Ning Jiulang will go through. Xue Qianshan is unimpressed, saying the fairy godmother hasn’t been around for a long time, how can he still be popular? Oh honey, bro, reputation alone can do wonders for a great performer. Mr. Xue predicts Chen Renxiang would advance. Du Qi smirks while Mr. Xue reads an article hyping Chen Renxiang. Du Qi is unimpressed, repeating the words successful and brings up the competition against SXR. Yo, Du Qi, to be fair Chen Renxiang rocked his performance, is just that our boy SXR was spectacular. He states that CRX was so beat by SXR he had to run away. Well, he couldn’t perform for a year and wanted to be with his girlfriend. LOL, Du Qi asks if Mr. Xue hired someone to write this fake article. Damn, these two need to just get it on. Mr. Xue reads one of Du Qi’s own article flattering SXR for leading the trend with new opera, winning even the younger people’s heart. Mr. Xue is like, damn that is a fine article, who wrote it. Bish, you know your boyfriend did, why you fronting? Du Qi recommends another name and I almost choked. Jiang Dengbao!? Bish, what? Because of his name. GTFO. Ewww, just no. Hmm. Qian Qian seems to agree. Oh well.

Meanwhile, GAHHH, the annoying maid! Er Nainai is doing some accounting and asks if the annoying maid got any news from Lao Han about CFT mother. Sigh, I really do not like that she is the one looking for his mother. Well apparently, he hasn’t reported back from Fengtian, where Chun Xuan apparently lives. Er Nainai complains that her brother no longer comes to the house. LOL, why would he come to a house full of nagging women. Geezus xrist, he is useless, but he is not dumb. Ugh, why doesn’t Fan Xiang’er just marry that annoying maid. They make a better couple.

Meanwhile, we now know where Fan Lian is spending his time. LOL, just like his BIL, he prefers to hang with the performers. I don’t blame him, they are far more livelier, especially our penguin, who is explaining to Zhouzi how to smize with his eyes. Fan Lian runs inside the courtyard to tell Rui Rui that he has made it in the final round of the competition. Our confident penguin is like, of course, what else is new. He asks who made it as well. Fan Lian informs him that Ning Jiulang, Jiang Dengbao, and...what? Si Xi’er. THE FUCK. How much did Jiang Rongshou pay to have that old queen move on? Anyhoo, our penguin does not seem to care about that piece of news, LOL, in your face Rongshou. Fan Lian is the one who seems more rankled by that news along with some of the members, but not our penguin. Nah, he is too excited to hear that his fairy godmother has made the cut and he would be competing against him. LOL, he goes into a diatribe, wondering how he is going to win against his fairy godmother when even his dad couldn’t. LOL, he has already ceded the title. Oh my baby. Dasheng is not too happy to hear his boss already conceding; Fan Lian tells him he must fight for this, having pulled a lot of strings. Shit starter Shi Jiu is like, I saw you perform with your idol and you were as good as he was. Zhouzi seems to agree. Ran Long is like, Ning Jiulang only performed once a year, while you are more popular throughout Beiping, so he should be the one to win. Oh, Rui Rui does not seem to keen on it, even Dasheng notices. Seriously, Dasheng, has such a big crush on his boss, lol.

Next day, the streets are buzzing as the troupe is passing flyers urging passerby to vote for SXR. I love the music. It was the same use when Du Qi was writing Hidden Tale and when the battle of the beautiful queens was under way. LOL, is this Lao Ge getting involved?! Even the rickshaw driver is doing his part. LOL, Qian Qian, why do you bother asking your boyfriend about him writing articles only on SXR. You should know better. I really think he is jealous. We see a large banner for SXR with hubby contemplating the picture. He does some type of noise......yeah, I will leave it to your imagination. We see our penguin jumping up and down, wanting to take down the banner. Both Fan Lian and hubby are confused; Er Ye says this is not cheating, it is simply a banner for the campaign. Penguin says, no, I don’t need it. Fan Lian misinterpret this to mean he is too confident in his chance of winning, but penguin is like, nah, I just don’t want to compete anymore. Oh, Er Ye is puzzled by this, since the competition happens every five years and that is a golden opportunity, so why? Our penguin replies he doesn’t want to compete against his fairy godmother, who in his mind is the best performer. If he loses, it means he wasn’t good enough, and that would make him feel bad, but if he wins, how will he face his fairy godmother in the future. OHHHH, honey, stop it! I am sure your fairy godmother would be fine if you win. He loves you that much! Hubby asks if he wouldn’t disappoint his father if he forfeits, but penguin states he is worried, since it almost his father’s death anniversary and he will go back to Pingyang to bow at his grave and admit his wrongdoing. LOL, Dasheng blows the cover on the white lie, replying the anniversary is in two months. BWAWAWA, the penguin stomps out defeated, declaring he can compete against anyone, but Ning Jiulang, while hubby smiles at his cute penguin wife leaving. Fan Lian, do not get involve, bro!

My old gays are back. Qi Wangye calls out to his wifey, informing him that as soon as he returns to the stage, he is already nominated for Best Performer. Fairy Godmother replies that in the opera circle, people love to fool around for fun, meaning his nomination is just people playing around for shits and giggles. He tell his hubby to not pay any mind to the circus. Qi Wangye reminds that every competition, it was either him or Hou Yukui who won, with Shang Juzhen as runner-up. He mentions Jiang Rongshou winning once, after he became the chairman. HMMMMM, did he buy his win? Qi Wangye comments that this year may not be easy with Rui Ge. Fairy Godmother changes the subject, bringing up growing watermelons in the South Garden. LOL, smoooothhh. Qi Wangye gets the hint that Jiulang is scolding him for having some free time. Qi Wangye is like, fine, I am going to be a socialite and go buy a newspaper to vote. Fairy godmother, say, fine, go ahead. Qi Wangye is like, you are not going to stop me and fairy godmother replies, no, just give your vote to my little penguin, that will be fine. Qi Wangye is like, what? and then they laugh. I love my old gays.

At a voting station, a crowd is there to place their votes for SXR when a strangely looking man, with sunglasses, a hat and scarf wrapped around half of his face comes in to buy up 10 votes for Ning Jiulang. Why does he sounds like our penguin? One of the voters outbid him with 20 votes for SXR. He doesn’t have any money to up the ante. One of the voters tells him that Ning Jiulang is too old to be competing he should be spending time hugging his grandchildren instead, adding how many years can he last if he becomes the Best Performer this year. The one who outbid him says Ning Jiulang shouldn’t be competing against a fresh face youngster like SXR, it is embarrassing. The strangely disguised man is like, yo, I am here to buy votes why are you dragging Ning Jiulang through the mud. The voter replies that fans are the reflection of the performer, chasing our disguised man claiming he is as eccentric as his idol. LOL, if they only knew who that was!

Best girl Xiao Lai catches our penguin rifling through the drawers and sees him holding the bank book stamp. She asks if he is going to pay tribute to the money god. Oh, is that we call doting on your hubby these days! Can I have a money god to pay tribute to as well? She tells him that he’s been splurging too much on the spendthrift Er Ye, buy imported cigarettes, alcohol, paying up his gambling debt (bro!), milk formula, expensive dishes at the restaurant. LOL, penguin is not listening, except to correct her when she says it amounts to 100K, claiming it is really only 80K. BWAHAHA, oh honey! She’s like, boss, you are going to go bankrupt doting on your hubby, if he stays longer. He replies that for all the things he’s done, why not, but she replies that Shuiyin Troupe is not Cheng Er Ye’s piggybank. Penguin is like, yo, this is not for Er Ye and I think I have an idea what it is for. Penguin wants to buy the votes for Jiulang. She tries to stop him, but he twirls his way out. LOL, poor Xiao Lai. Novel Xiao Lai emerges again as she screams he will regret spending so much on Er Ye.

It’s the day of the result and the Liyuan Opera Hall is filled the brim. Boss Niu is on the stage waiting for the Jiang Rongshou to show up so he can start the count. LOL, Du Qi and Fan Lian are both there. I ship these two. LOL. Finally, the douchebag father and son duo finally arrives. Boss Niu announces the start of the competition. We see Si Xi’er and Xue Qianshan in the crowd. Why are you sitting from your boyfriend? The first vote is for Ning Jiulang, the next is for SXR. Meanwhile, our fairy godmother is singing to his bird, trying once again to teach him that song from the first time we met him. Qi Wangye comes in and compliments him, which makes Ning Jiulang stop singing. LOL. Qi Wangye comments how hard it is to hear his wifey sing, if he had known he would have eavesdropped outside. He asks if his wifey is really not going to go to the Liyuan Association Hall to watch the count. Jiulang informs him he sent someone in his stead. Qi Wangye is like, don’t you want to receive the award yourself. Jiulang smirks and asks if Wangye really believes he will win the award. Instead he believes that penguin will win. Wangye is like you really think that foggy Jiang papa is going to let him win. Jiulang seems to think about it for a brief moment, but then snickers, inviting Qi Wangye to take a look at their watermelon seedlings. Yo, anyone who claims they are only friends, please stop right now. They are planting freaking watermelons in their garden together. Alright!

The count continues. Wait, someone actually voted for Dengbao! Evil stepmother asks about Ning Jiulang, to which Jiang papa ignores the question. Meanwhile, our couple is walking together overlooking the city. Seriously, what a romantic setting. Anyhoo, Er Ye is like, why aren’t you at the Association Hall instead of having a romantic walk with me. Rui Rui recalls the last time he came to this area, it was snowing; he was careless and took a fall, forcing him not to perform for days. Wait, how is a penguin fall in the snow? Er Ye responds the troupe members must be looking anxiously for him since he left without letting them know. He shows Er Ye a tree which has a large cut, apparently made by Qi Wangye out of anger. Er Ye replies why is he telling him that when he was not the one chopped. He brings the conversation back to Rui Rui not going to the Association Hall. Rui Rui answers no; hubby asks if he is afraid. Rui Rui answers yes, he is, especially of winning. He does that face that captures hubby’s attention (to be honest, it doesn’t take much, lol). He tells how he used to think his father was formidable, chasing him all over the street to beat him, which he couldn’t never outrun, until one day, he ran so fast, he saw his father leaning on the stick, panting while looking at him, realizing he had grown taller and stronger. He wasn’t happy at the realization that his father’s age had slowed him down. Er Ye asks who can outrun aging and Rui Rui answers who can stop time. Er Ye replies that God gives everything an expiration date, when that date comes, it naturally degenerates, how can his fairy godmother be an exception? Rui Rui complains that time has come too fast, Jiulang is still high up in his heart. Oh boo boo, honey bun, you are the fresh faced, the one the crowd clamor for. It doesn’t mean Jiulang has sang his swansong, but since he doesn’t perform as much, it is normal for him to be upstage by some of equal talent like you! He claims he is not ready to replace him. Boss Niu still counts and the last two votes are for our penguin. Meanwhile, the evil stepmother only has one vote. BWAHAHAHAHA. He storms out, followed by his pretty boys army. They ask if they should leave like this and evil stepmother replies he doesn’t want to stay for fear of being mocked. One of them asks didn’t one fan vote for you, but it turns out it was him. LOLOLOL. Best girl catches up to the couple and Rui Rui asks how she knew he was there. Bro, what is wrong with you? Of course she would know, she’s been with you for decades now! She’s your best girl! Oh wait, Er Ye reveals he sent Lao Ge to get her after dropping them off. Ok, I take that back Rui Rui. She tells him to hurry up and go to the Association Hall, informing that even Qi Wangye’s people are there, it would not be a good look for him not to appear. Rui Rui asks if Jiulang is there, which stomps best girl, unsure how to answer, but does tell him that Jiulang assistant is there. Hubby tells him that maybe he didn’t win after all, but since Jiulang is there, he needs to go. Rui Rui is like, right, I should go, but he needs to change clothes. Best girl grabs his wrist, telling him she already arranged with Shi Jiu to get the clothes.

Boss Niu thanks the crowd for the support and declare the competition has concluded. It is time to announce the results. Du Qi gets up on the table to see the results. LOL, such a fanboy. Ning Jiulang of Qinyang Troupe has 3586 votes, Du Qi looks over at Jiang Rongshou to see his reaction, while one of the reporter tells Xue Qianshan that Ning Jiulang has been popular for two decades. CEO Xue replies that Boss Ning has quite the pedigree, having worked for the Bureau of Imperial Operas before and was appointed by the Empress Dowager as Minister of Opera Circle, becoming a top guest at Qi Wangye manor. Hmmm... you mean married to Qi Wangye. His connections and experience cannot be underestimated. The reporter is like, oh so it seems like he is going to win. CEO Xue following in his boyfriend footsteps respond not to jump to conclusion. Boss Niu announces the tally for Rui Rui and it is a tie with fairy godmother. The crowd is excited while Xue is like, see, I told you so. They announce that weasel Dengbao received 1257 votes. LOL, what?! Who the fuck voted for him? He gets up to greet everyone. Whatever. Then it is Si Xi’er turn. Why even announce it, it is so goddamn embarrassing. Boss Niu is about to announce the results, seeing this is God’s will or something like that, but someone in the crowd claims the vote must have been rigged in favor of Rui Rui. Someone asks for a recount. Yooo, really Jiang senior! You would sink that low? Du Qi throws a tea kettle on the floor, breaking it. He tells the one asking for a recount he will rip his mouth if he continue to spew nonsense. The guy is like try me, but Fan Lian stops him from making a fool out of himself. Ohhh, judging from weasel Dengbao smirks, he was the one who caused this ruckus. Geezus xrist! A man enters the room and shuts up the crowd declaring he has one more vote to deliver. It’s Ning Jiulang’s assistant, Mr. Tong. He exchanges pleasantries with Jiang senior, claiming he got lost on his way to the Association since he doesn’t get to come out as much due him not going out as much. Jiang papa smiles profusely, thinking Mr. Tong is here to cast away Rui Rui chances in favor of his boss. Boss Niu invites him to bring his vote to the stage. Meanwhile, Er Ye brings Rui Rui to front steps of the Association Hall, helping him dress. AWWWWWW, like a good wifey taking care of his spouse! When did the roles reverse? I guess since Rui Rui is taking care of him, he has become the wifey, not that I am complaining. Rui Rui says he wished there would be some fast beating drum rolls to announce the winner. LOL, Er Ye is like, my baby is so weird, but I love him. Inside Boss Niu looks at the vote and ask Mr. Tong if he is sure. He replies that is Boss Ning’s order and go ahead in announcing the result. Boss Niu announces the winner of the Liyuan Best Performer Competition is.......our RUI RUI. Outside, Er Ye is still dressing up his husband when they hear the results, while Du Qi and Fan Lian are embracing each other. I SQUEAALLL. Mr. Ton announces he has brought a gift for Rui Rui for this occasion. It is a plaque with Golden Stage Best Performer written on it. LOL, Jiang Rongshou is pissed off and storms out of the Hall. Go join the evil stepmom. CEO Xue tells his reporter that Boss Ning had planned this for a long time. The dense reporter asks what he means by that and CEO Xue replies the Opera World has a new ruler. Our penguin stomps inside the Hall with hubby in tow, seeing the gift from fairy godmother. Rui Rui states that Jiulang is not old after all and runs out, followed by his hubby.

Rui Rui is facing the ancestor’s altar while Er Ye and Fengyi are outside, not wanting to disturb his bae. Dasheng sees him and asks why he is not asleep. The other members join in and Er Ye complains that Rui Rui could have done some reflections elsewhere besides his room. I was about to suggest that he simply sleeps and stares at his bae, but apparently Rui Rui scares him by not moving nor blinking, just kneeling and mutter in front of the Ancestor Tablet. Dasheng suggest he sleeps in Rui Rui’s room and he replies that it looks like a doghouse. Sigh, these are moments I wished book Fengtai came out to play more. Book Fengtai was far more willing to eat the same food as Rui Rui and sleep in the same room. Ewww, delusional shit starter Shi Jiu, with Ran Long help (girl, what are you doing?!) offers her room to sleep in. LOL, Er Ye is like, Nah, I will go to the doghouse. Yeah, glad Er Ye prefers to sleep with Rui Rui smells surrounding him than encourage the deluded Shi Jiu. LOL, Dasheng is like, well, can I go to your room. Shi Jiu is like hell no.

Fairy Godmother brings the plaque with him and accosts Dasheng, asking the little brother where to find Rui Rui. Dasheng tells him that Rui Rui slept in the Ancestor Teacher’s room. Dasheng is so excited to meet the fairy godmother, telling him to watch his steps. Such eleganza in one figure! He enters the room where Rui Rui is sleeping on the floor and approaches the sleeping figure. OMG HE IS SO CUTE, I CANNOT. Our fairy godmother being the equessential fairy stands above the sleeping penguin and then stares at the plaques, back to the penguin, trying to wake him up. The cutie pie opens his eyes and stares at the figure above him, telling his fairy godmother he was talking about him to the Ancestor Teacher and he suddenly shows up. He grabs the fairy godmother’s leg like a little toddler and say it was a great dream, feeling so real. Awww, is he still dreaming? Ning Jiulang reproaches him gently, saying this kid is so immersed in opera that dreaming or not, he can’t differentiate what is dream to reality. Continues saying how naturally gifted a singer Rui Rui is and tells the penguin to take what he is about to say as a dream, while the baby is holding tightly his leg with his eyes closed. AWWWWWWWW. Fairy Godmother wonders if the penguin will remember any of the things he is about to say, but still goes on. He tells Rui Rui that whether he wants to admit it, he is already old, which limits some of the things he can do as an actor like bending or sing a high pitch. When he was younger, he grew up in the palace raised by the eunuchs, thus learning by imitating their behaviors as an actor, making neither a master or a slave, which limits his potentiality. Unlike Rui Rui, who can learn all the different techniques, gestures and behaviors onstage, he doesn’t have the capacity to comprehend them. All he could do is follow his teacher and copy whatever he could, which made him fearful of making a mistake and upsetting the Empress Dowager. He adds he couldn’t innovate like Rui Rui, adding his own ideas into the opera. While he is saying that, Rui Rui again wins the award for the most adorable penguin of the year. Just on that alone, Yin Zheng must win best actor award, I will riot China! Because of his need to be perfect in the stifling environment of the palace, he could only perform the classical operas from hundred years ago, despite being tired of performing them, but that is all he could do. Cutie pie penguin tells him he performed them well, which fairy godmother agrees, but he has reached his peak. If he cannot soar past the palace wall, then he cannot elevate to a higher level. He thank God for letting him meet Rui Rui, who holds the leg tighter. Fairy Godmother admonishes him gently for not obeying discipline while growing up, always asking questions when learning operas, doing as he wish and not being afraid of making mistake or getting a beating. Since coming to Beiping, he became more unrestrained, changing plays as he wish, which reminds Jiulang of the revolutionaries who barged into the palace. He admired their spirits, but he was afraid of following them since they destroyed the sheltered world he lived in, pushing him into the unfamiliar world of the civilians. Fortunately for him, he had Qi Wangye to stay by his side which made the transition between the two worlds easier, allowing him to survive. AWWWW. He was aware they were the future he could not avoid. For him Rui Rui is like the sky above, that no matter how thick the brick wall was, if there was a crack, the sky will peer through eventually to let the light shine. He needed a person like him, just like Beijing Operas need someone like him. Rui Rui ask fairy godmother what he is talking about, bringing up revolutionaries, spirits, which confuses him. Fairy Godmother tells him not to worry, simply remember what he said, he will understand in the future. Rui RUi said he talks too much about the future, it makes him sleepy. LOL. He tells him it is just a dream, so he wants to only hug him and fall asleep. When he wakes up, he will talk to him. Fairy godmother says fine, I will go ahead and make your bed. He calls out his men to bring the plaque. Fairy Godmother brings Rui Rui to the bed where Er Ye has been sleeping and where the plaque is, and lays him down. Baby penguin wakes up and sees the white hair ion fairy godmother’s head, comments about it and pulls it out. LOL. Then falls back to sleep. Fairy Godmother watches him sleep for a bit, then steps out, as the crowd of actors pool in front of the house. They comment about his grace and pose, yess, this queen is the ultimate MOTHER.

Baby penguin finally awakes and sees the plaque. Shocked, he gets off the bed and screams out the plaque has turned into a demon with legs and came over the house. LOL, this penguin! Best girl enters the room in a hurry asking what is wrong. He asks how the plaque came here and she tells him that Boss Ning delivered to him. He is surprised to hear that Jiulang was actually here in the flesh and not in his dream and best girl is like, OMG, are your dazed and confused! Bro, you were talking with your fairy godmother for a while! It dawns on the penguin that his fairy godmother was really there and finds the white hair strand. LOL. He runs to the courtyard where hubby is sitting with Fengyi, surrounded by the other actors. He take the baby and gives it to shit starter Shi Jiu, so he can pull hubby back into the room for some naughty times (sigh, I wish). He tells Er Ye to lay on the bed where the plaque is still on. Er Ye finds it uncomfortable to do so, but still does it. Rui Rui snickers and asks how it feels. Er Ye replies he would rather lay on the floor because it is very uncomfortable. He sat up while Rui Rui tells him that he does not know what is good. He informs him it is the plaque gifted by his fairy godmother, which is the highest of all favors, such high-level treatment. OK GUYS, I need to warn you for the next sentence our Rui Rui is going to blurt. You might melt, jump with joy, weep like a little bish, die a few deaths. I know I did. Alright, drum rolls... Our Rui Rui blurts out the most valuable things in ShuiyinLou are in this room:The Ancestor Teacher, his father, Jiulang’s plaque and HIM. OMG, OMG, OMG, our Rui Rui just confessed his love for Er Ye!!!!!! I have died, I am dead, I need a moment to reincarnate. Er Ye looks at him like he is the most beautiful thing in the world, and we all know he is. He is moved, his heart pitter patter, his bae just declared his love for him. He smiles upon the realization, although our Rui Rui is dense as fuck, not realizing the emotional wave coursing through his hubby’s mind and body. OMG, Er Ye’s smile!!!!!!! I am dead again. He tells him how touched he is to hear his bae declare his love. Dense penguin says don’t be, just lecture me less. PENGUIN, your bae is far too happy right now to even do this. At the urging of the penguin, Er Ye lays down and looks far too happy, not uncomfortable at all. Seriously, the man is so happy, the bed could be wrapped with 100% Egyptian cotton. OMG, Er Ye smiling profusely.

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ambitionsource · 5 years

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AMBITION Season 2 ♫ “Valerie De La Cruz” [ 2.04 ]

CREATED BY Esther (rapunzles) & Maggie (daphnegolshiri) || S2 Tag || Official Page

MOTHER KNOWS BEST – A guest appearance by Isadora’s starlet mother throws AAA into disarray. As Jack attempts to maintain control with a full plate, Valerie encourages the students to channel their current woes into more authentic performances. But lighting a match in dry woods might just set the whole forest ablaze.

72 Minutes (21K words) || No warnings apply.

[ ← Are We Out of the Woods ] [ S2 Synopsis ] [ Cold Comfort → ]

( Follow along with the music on Spotify here! )

EXT. AIRPLANE - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “The Bitch Is Back / Dress You Up” as performed by Glee Cast || Performed by Zay Babineaux & Maya Hart (feat. AAA Juniors)

As the opening guitar riffs launch us headfirst into another episode of AMBITION, a commercial airliner makes its way into a safe and timely descent at John F. Kennedy airport.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

But it’s ZAY BABINEAUX and MAYA HART who are leading the number, the A class goofing around before the school day officially begins. The two reigning divas don’t pull any punches with the rendition, delivering it with impressive runs, infectious energy, and undeniable talent.

The two of them interact with the rest of their classmates as the performance unfolds, grooving around and spreading the energy. Maya leans back against ISADORA DE LA CRUZ during one particular run, giving her a wink. Zay spins RILEY MATTHEWS. Amidst the spectacle and during a fun dance sequence between the two divas, CHARLIE GARDNER watches with his jaw hanging open and looking especially captivated.

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

Intercut with the loose performance, a series of shots convey a new guest making their way into the world of AAA. A pair of glossy stilettos step their way out of an expensive town car. A generous tip drops through the window into the passenger seat.

Those stilettos march their way down the streets, heads turning as the figure passes. People whisper excitedly. Is that…?

We follow those heels as they cross a busy intersection, not bothering to wait for the signal. Jaywalking is New York tradition, and traffic will wait. Especially for them.

As the song comes to an end and Zay and Maya belt out their best ending note, those heels strut their way up the vast steps of Adams and push through the doors with a flourish.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The class rounds out the number with enthusiasm, Zay and Maya standing front and center back to back as they soak in the theatrics of a spectacular performance. Here we go again!

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Well, for those in the know, anyway. FARKLE MINKUS is seated alone in the black box, glancing at the clock and all the empty seats around him. It’s clear he missed a memo, but he has no idea what he’s supposed to be doing instead.

The silence of the room is stark compared to the bombastic opening number we just saw. He slouches further in his seat, lightly tugging at his hair absentmindedly.

He’s saved from isolation when JACK HUNTER pokes his head in. He asks what Farkle is doing in there, considering they’re supposed to be meeting in the auditorium this morning. Embarrassed, Farkle quickly gets to his feet.

Farkle: Well, uh… nobody told me.

Jack waves him off, stating they can walk there together seeing as that’s also where he’s headed. Not the most ideal social cred, to be walking around with your principal, but suppose it’s better than being alone.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The two of them arrive right on time, HARPER BURGESS showing up as well and gearing up to start the day. She quiets the upbeat chatter of the class, Farkle feeling the sting of being left out simply based on the good mood they’re all carrying that he didn’t experience. As Harper gets them to settle in the front and center section, LUCAS FRIAR descends from the booth and comes to join the other techies.

Harper explains that they’ll be having a special guest lecturer this week, and instantly the class grows excited once again. This launches into a series of guesses as to who it could possibly be, none of them even close to the mark.

Darby: Is it my mom? They just made a huge breakthrough on her cancer research. She should’ve told me she was coming!

Haley: Again, Darbs, someone we care about.

Yogi: It has to be Dick Cheney. If Sean Spicer can be on Dancing With the Stars --

Other names are thrown around. Barack Obama. The kid who invented flossing. DYLAN ORLANDO offers another idea, sitting up in his seat next to ASHER GARCIA.

Dylan: Jesus H. Christ. It’s Jesus, isn’t it?

[ He leans forward in his seat, tapping Charlie’s shoulder to get his attention. ]

Dylan: Charlie, you’re friends with Jesus, right?

Charlie clearly has no idea how to respond to that, mildly horrified, but SARAH CARLSON beats him to it anyway.

Sarah: Why would Jesus come to Triple A?

Nate: Someone has to save us from our sins.

Dylan: If he can do Queer Eye, I think he could make an appearance.

Of course, no one can top DAVE WILLIAMS when it comes to ideas.

Dave: Is it Ice T? He’s my godfather.

Before that little bombshell can be unpacked, the mystery is solved. ERIC MATTHEWS eagerly makes his way onto the stages through the wings, followed closely behind by the glamorous VALERIE DE LA CRUZ. Tall, tan, gorgeous, wearing those stiletto heels and looking absolutely fabulous. Her smile is brighter than the stage lights as she gives a wave to them all.

As expected, the class erupts into chaos. Maya can’t believe this is happening, claiming she’s going to pass out. Isadora looks torn between excitement and dread. Lucas looks disgusted, glaring at the adults assembled on stage with his mouth hanging open.

When Valerie is ON, it should be noted that everything that comes out of her mouth is at peak theatrical.

Valerie: And let me just say -- what an honor it is to be here with all of you. This week, we’re going to reach your highest heights… but also dig deep. Do you all want this insufferable beauty of a lifestyle badly enough? Can you be the beast necessary to live it? What are you willing to share -- or sacrifice -- to have it? And, of course, do you have the talent? [ a beat ] Suffice to say, my dear, dear dreamers in training, I bet this week will change your lives.

Oh, there’s no doubt about that, Madame De La Cruz. Off her charismatic wink --

Cue title sequence.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

Maya is sitting with Isadora at lunch, DARBY WINTERS arguing about something with NIGEL CHEY and YINDRA AMINO a couple seats down. Maya is brimming with excitement, unable to contain it as the two of them talk about Valerie’s visit.

Maya: I can’t believe it. Did you know?

Isadora: [ mirroring her enthusiasm ] It was so hard not to tell you.

Maya pretends to swat at her, shaking her head but still grinning wide. They immediately launch into eager discussion.

EXT. AAA - LUNCH COURTYARD - DAY

From the usual techie table, Lucas watches Maya and Isadora through the window to the cafeteria with evident disdain. Dylan and Asher are seated across from him, trying to distract him and talk him down from the turbulent emotions Valerie’s presence might have brought.

The subject of the upcoming holiday of Thanksgiving comes up, Lucas explaining his and Isadora’s usual tradition of ditching their respective familial obligations (in his case, none) and just going to eat somewhere together. Nothing remotely holiday-inspired, but more fun than either of their other plans and distinctly theirs. Considering Valerie’s presence, however, he figures that will likely not be happening this year.

Dylan states that if he doesn’t have better plans, then he should come have Thanksgiving with their families. Asher smiles, taking his hand on the tabletop and agreeing. The soft moment lingers between the two of them. Dylan goes on to explain that there’s nothing better than a Garcia-Orlando holiday gathering, especially Thanksgiving.

Asher: Well, my dad did set the oven on fire last year.

Dylan: And you know, I think that was exactly what we needed. I think every holiday needs a little bit of character.

Asher: I would not call “a degree of separation away from bodily injury” character.

Dylan: And that is what you have me for.

Asher rolls his eyes, Dylan giving him one of his sunshine smiles. Lucas watches them in mild amusement, effectively distracted enough to concede and state he’ll join them for the holiday.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

At the opposite end of the cafeteria, Zay and Riley are eating lunch with CLARISSA CRUZ and HALEY FISHER. As Haley arrives and settles into the seat next to her best friend, she breathlessly declares that she’s figured it out. She has finally figured out why Charlie isn’t giving her -- or anyone else, for that matter -- the time of day.

They prompt her to continue, Zay subtly more intrigued than Riley or Clarissa. Haley boldly announces her revelation, convinced of its truth.

Haley: Charlie is so into Maya!

She goes on to explain how she can’t believe she didn’t see it before, but the way he was so obviously thirsting this morning before class while she and Zay were riffing off made it painfully clear. Not to mention Maya is so unattainable, so it makes sense why he’s been harboring this for so long. Zay listens and nods along, no longer the least bit concerned and fully amused.

As Clarissa pulls Haley into the holes in that theory, Zay and Riley focus on their own conversation. They get into discussing their current celebrity lecturer, Riley admitting that it’s an exciting prospect, but considering she hardly knew about Valerie before she got here it’s not quite as major for her as it seems to be for the rest of them.

Zay: I know you had a whole other life before Triple A and all that, but were you like, Amish or what?

Riley nudges him playfully. She says she can’t even think much about it anyway, as she’s totally preoccupied with the upcoming holiday. Considering the mess her family is at the moment, she has very little faith that this is going to go well. She can’t stomach the idea of having to watch her parents pretend to get along and then having Auggie ask her every five minutes if they seem like they like one another again and having to find ways to tell him they’re not getting back together.

Riley: Not to mention everyone here is still all over the place and I -- sorry for complaining, but could one thing in my life not be falling apart?

Zay waves off her unnecessary apology. He points out that if she’s frustrated with how things are going with their class, then maybe this week is the time to say something about it. With Valerie here people are going to be paying way more attention than usual, so maybe she can take the chance to actually make a statement and have people listen. Make everyone stop being so stupid, if nothing else.

A nice idea, but easier said than done. Especially when you can’t even let go of your own grievances. This is true as ever as Charlie approaches to join them, exchanging an awkward smile with Riley. She still doesn’t know how to deal with him and excuses herself, vacating the seat for Charlie to occupy.

The dismissal clearly stings for Charlie. He watches her go before plopping into the seat next to Zay, engaging in conversation about Valerie. Charlie questions if Zay is excited about her presence, which he admits to but also clarifies that he’s nowhere near as fanatic as Maya. Valerie is great, but she’s no Rihanna or Queen Bey.

More than that, Zay is intrigued by what chaos she’s going to bring to the table. Seems like it’ll be a week for bold choices -- to which he jokingly makes a quip about how maybe Charlie can admit his feelings for Maya. Charlie is confused, asking him what he’s talking about, but Zay just waves him off playfully.

Charlie: Zay, what? [ with a laugh, but also indignant ] What are you talking about?

Zay shrugs like he doesn’t know what Charlie is bothering him about, but he can’t hold back his grin. He pops a French fry into his mouth, raising his eyebrows.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Jack is seated at his desk, obviously already exhausted as he discusses the plan for the week with Eric and Harper. As he sees it, he’s already doing everything he can to keep the junior class from imploding, and bringing in such a high-profile figure with the means to cause chaos is just throwing a wrench into things. Eric and Harper defend their belief that perhaps her presence will actually prime the students to work together more effectively, but Jack is skeptical.

Jack: I’m just saying, I’m not breaking my back like Atlas holding up the sky only for it all to come crashing down for some Hollywood bim --

His less-than-complimentary description of Valerie is interrupted by her arrival, Jack quickly changing tracks and offering her a polite smile as he rises to his feet. She jokingly states he doesn’t need to get up on her account, accepting his hand to shake.

Jack: We were just discussing the current… fragile status of the junior class. It’s imperative that we don’t do anything to upset that precarious balance or do anything that might… aggravate rather than mediate.

Valerie: Oh, say no more, Jackson. I know all about conflict mediation. When my mentor JLo got into a tiff with my other mentor Mariah, it was basically up to me to single-handedly snuff out that inferno --

Jack looks like he is not going to survive the week. Harper swoops in to change the subject, stating that she and Valerie should go set up the classroom. She agrees happily, giving one more thanks to Jack and Eric -- especially Eric, given how wonderful he is with Isadora and for arranging this week -- before fluttering off.

Once they’re alone, Eric and Jack take the opportunity to reiterate their plans for Thanksgiving. Presently, Eric is planning to join the Hunters for the holiday in an effort to avoid the Cory & Topanga drama for the year. It’s clear they’re both looking forward to it, as they haven’t had much time to actually enjoy one another’s company outside of school-related business.

Jack also makes a point of reminding Eric that his and Shawn’s +1s will be there as well, so Eric is more than welcome to bring along a friend or… whomever. Eric nervously laughs off the notion, fumbling through an excuse for why he likely won’t have one but appreciating the sentiment either way.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Farkle is still sitting in the same spot as when they dismissed for lunch, flipping through Death of a Salesman half-heartedly. It’s unclear, but it seems like he didn’t bother to go for break at all.

As his classmates begin returning and settling back in around him, none of them pay him any attention. It’s like they don’t even notice him. Farkle has basically become furniture at this point -- just incidentally iced out of the picture rather than intentionally ostracized.

Somehow, this is worse than being villainized. He’s being forgotten, and it evidently hurts Farkle to realize it as he watches the rest of the class meander in. He thinks about saying something to Nigel who has sat down nearby and is discussing something avidly with NICK YOGI, but Shawn takes the stage before he can speak.

As Shawn informs them, they will not be meeting in here for class, but actually, in the black box. Although the techies point out that they always meet in here first, Shawn flatly claims that their current guest lecturer had other plans. So away we go…

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Valerie greets the junior A class with a flourish, surrounded by a completely rearranged black box theater. Most objects have been pushed to the sides, and the desks are now organized in a circular socratic style -- with Miss De La Cruz in the very center. She opens her arms wide and welcomes them to the classroom.

Valerie: Come in, come in, and take a seat. Sit wherever your instincts draw you to go.

While most of the class is excited by this introduction, not everyone is so starstruck.

Lucas: I’m being drawn out of this building...

Shawn: [ spinning him back around by the shoulders ] Sit down, Friar.

As everyone settles in, Valerie explains what her approach for the week is going to be (and yes, her delivery does feel a little bit like Cooper Anderson on Glee). She greatly looks forward to getting to know each of them, and notes that she is endeavoring to sit down with each of them one-on-one through the course of the week to discuss their aspirations, their hesitations… and sign autographs if they so desire, ha ha ha!

In the midst of this lecture, she begins randomly picking students from the class to try and get them to speak about who they are. She picks the worst example to start with, turning to Charlie and asking him to tell her who he is in front of the entire class.

Charlie: … who, me?

Valerie: Well, you and me are locking eyes, aren’t we? We’re forming a connection. You sense that?

Charlie: Um --

Valerie: So, tell me then…

Haley, amused: Charlie.

Valerie: Charlie! Tell me, Charlie. Who are you?

Charlie is speechless, the rest of the class snickering or reacting accordingly. From where he’s sitting next to Riley, Zay grimaces. Being put on the spot doesn’t help, and Valerie catches onto this. She assures Charlie that it’s fine, and that they’ll have plenty of time to chat later. She manages to spin it into something positive, claiming his uncertainty highlights exactly what she thinks is the key to the week for them.

Valerie: You saw, there, how Charlie hesitated? That’s not a bad thing. What that is showcasing, my dears, is the internal search for authenticity. He did not merely throw out some practiced answer -- he took the time to contemplate the question, to dig deep and consider what such an answer might be.

Sarah: [ under her breath ] Like there’s any depth to dig.

Emotional authenticity, Valerie elaborates, is the core of any talented star in the making. Audiences don’t connect to glitz and glamour -- although we love some glam! -- they connect to the emotion a performer is conveying through their work.

All in all, it’s clear that Valerie really does intend to make progress with these students and wants to help them in any way she can. But the A class is far from ready for emotional vulnerability, which she quickly realizes, so they’ll have to start a little smaller first. Thusly, Valerie decides they could do with a warm up.

Maya: This is the best day of my life.

Lucas: This is insane.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “When I Grow Up” as performed by The Pussycat Dolls || Performed by Valerie De La Cruz (feat. AAA Juniors)

Yes, this is an insane choice to sing while mentoring at a high school. Yes, it’s also a direct homage to Valerie’s actress’ PCD roots. But the good aspect to the choice is how it energizes the students, just shocking and upbeat enough to create a compelling combination to break through the uncertainty and tension.

While most of the class gets pulled into the fun and starts grooving with their celebrity teacher -- Maya the first to jump at the chance -- not all of the junior A class is participating. Farkle stays slouched in his seat and doodles apathetically in his notebook, this out-of-character nonchalance catching the eye of Eric amidst the chaos. Isadora is somewhere between embarrassed and overwhelmed, covering her eyes and peeking out between her fingers to watch. Lucas looks disgusted, glancing around him as if he cannot believe this is happening.

Even still, the song actually does speak pretty pointedly to the situation. Valerie is coming from where they all believe they desperately want to be, and perhaps that’s not as rosy and desirable as it seems on the surface. “Be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it…”

It’s also a nice change of pace to see most of our main cast enjoying a performance. Maya, Riley, Zay, and Charlie take the brunt of backing up Valerie, and it’s fun to watch. When they break into duos, Riley pairs with Zay while Maya ironically pairs with Charlie (which Haley definitely reacts to).

Valerie finishes off the number with a flourish, back in the center of the circle with the junior class surrounding her. What a way to kick off her week!

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

On the other hand, maybe not. Jack’s expression is dismayed as Lucas sits across from him, fiercely complaining about what he just witnessed in theatre lab.

Lucas: That was the most disturbing display I have ever been forced to bear witness to in my short, lamentable existence. And I was there for when Maya attempted to get our only relatively diverse school to perform The Lion King and casted Yogi as baby Simba because he was “the right size” for the part.

Jack: Good memory you’ve got there.

Lucas, flatly: I will never be free of that.

Yes, great thanks to Zay Babineaux for shutting down that concept. Subdued theatrics aside, it’s evident Jack isn’t going to argue with Lucas. He leans forward and lowers his voice, speaking conspiratorially.

Jack: Look, to be honest, I’m with you. I don’t think Miss De La Cruz’s presence is going to bring anything but trouble… [ wringing his hands ] and a strange amount of glitter that I cannot seem to wash my hands of no matter how hard I try.

Although Lucas does crack a small smile at Jack’s commentary, he’s not so easily distracted from the issue. He asks what Jack is going to do about it, then. Valerie being here is disgusting and wrong. Can’t he evict her from the premises? Ban her from the building?

While he might daydream about such things, Jack points out that the rest of the class is very enthused about her guest appearance, so it would be more of a hassle to try and remove her than just let her stay run its course. She can’t cause irreversible damage in a week, and who knows, perhaps someone will really get something out of the mentoring.

Lucas: So you’re doing nothing.

Jack: There is a difference between doing nothing and strategically maintaining the peace…

Lucas rolls his eyes, getting up to head back to class. As he’s heading out, Jack grabs his attention once again and makes a point of tapping lightly at his temple. A subtle reminder within a dynamic that only continues to grow more interesting. Think.

Lucas makes a face, indicating that he got the message. Then he pushes out the door, Jack smiling lightly as he goes back to his work.

The smile falters when he takes another look at the messages from the secretaries in the main office. There are one or two pointed reminders regarding the “Bradfords,” which seems to put him on edge. He immediately goes to check his email.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Eric is in the midst of work as well, although he seems in a much better mood about their guest. He’s humming to himself when there’s a light knock at his door. He beckons Harper in without looking up -- only it’s not Harper waiting in his doorway.

Eric, in surprise: Miss Hart?

Yes, indeed. KATY HART is peering into his office, timid as usual in the imposing presence of AAA. Eric leaps from his seat, coming to greet her and assuring her that it’s wonderful to see her again, albeit unexpectedly. He guides her inside, questioning what she might be doing there.

Eric: Hoping to catch a glimpse of our celebrity guest lecturer this week?

Katy: Oh, no. Maya definitely has already texted me about it, but… I couldn’t. That’s not what I came by for, in any case.

Eric is intrigued, settling back into his seat. Katy apologizes for stealing a moment from him, but she claims she needs some guidance. Urgent guidance. Eric’s expression grows more solemn, nodding for her to go on…

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Maya and Isadora are chatting outside the black box, a gaggle of other students heading out from the classroom behind them. They’re not speaking softly when they discuss the new shake up for the week.

Haley: We are going to learn so much from Valerie. I can feel my star shining brighter already.

Darby: Can you really? How do I know if I’m growing brighter?

Nigel: Lost cause there, Darbs.

Sarah: She might be loony, but she’s got a fun way of teaching. She’s gonna be a better teacher than Burgess.

Focus shifts to Isadora and Maya just as Valerie flutters her way over to them. Isadora makes a point of formally introducing them, Maya more than a little starstruck as she shakes Valerie’s hand. She eagerly compliments her on her great first lecture and emphasizes how she cannot wait for the rest of the week. So Maya holds it together, but it is more than obvious how much she admires Isadora’s starlet mother.

Valerie is tickled, stating that their class is great and she can’t wait to see what Maya whips up for her performance. After a couple more stammered thank yous Maya gets going, leaving Isadora and Valerie in content but uncertain silence as they’re thrown back into figuring out what their dynamic is again.

Searching for a conversation starter, Valerie questions if that was the same girl who threw such a fit over Les Miserables. Isadora confirms it is.

Valerie: Well, she certainly seems to have screwed her head back onto her shoulders a little more securely. Wouldn’t you say?

Isadora: Yeah, well… people can change in a pretty short amount of time.

As the two of them start to head down the hall, Eric comes breezing by at a brisk pace. He slides through the black box doors, poking his head in to make sure all the students have departed.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Harper greets him as he enters, lightly adjusting the layout of the room without incidentally messing with Valerie’s newly preferred set up. She enthusiastically states she feels good about their guest appearance for the week, as the students seem more energized than she’s seen them this semester.

Harper: That was a good start, wasn’t it? Or am I just suffering from wishful thinking and a dose of starry eyes?

Eric: Oh, no, I’m right on your page. That’s actually what I wanted to discuss.

Eric touches base with Harper, checking to see how she’s feeling about their new lecturer stepping on her teaching time. It’s unclear whether Harper overheard the commentary from Sarah earlier, but if she did she’s doing an excellent job of concealing it. She explains that Valerie’s presence is hardly a problem for her, in fact it’s a welcome change of pace. It gives her the chance to redirect her energies towards identifying problem areas in the class dynamic.

She does admit that the day has been a draining one, however, so she’s ready to get out of there for the afternoon. She questions if Eric is planning on heading home any time soon -- workaholic -- and he claims he is, he simply has a couple last minute tasks to complete…

INT. AAA - MAIN OFFICE - DAY

One of which seems to involve Jack. He breezes past the secretaries at the front desk with an upbeat greeting, jogging back towards Jack’s office before either of them can stop him. He returns moments later in confusion, wondering where their principal is.

As the secretaries tried to tell him as he rushed past them, Jack’s already left the office. He was gone a few minutes after final bell. Some personal engagements planned, it seems.

Eric’s usual cheery demeanor deflates somewhat. The secretaries offer to pass on a message for him as he glances back towards Jack’s office, but he shakes it off.

Eric: I, um… suppose I’ll just catch him tomorrow.

INT. MAYA’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Katy and Maya are seated in their cramped living room, spending the evening together after a long day for them both. Dinner is leftovers from the diner, sitting open on the small coffee table in front of them on the couch.

The ladies are chatting lightly, having an impromptu girls night. Katy braids Maya’s hair, the latter pointing out that she still hasn’t figured out how she manages to do this one style so perfectly. She hasn’t managed to recreate it on her own yet.

Katy accepts the compliment, but she admittedly is still wrapping her head around how Maya really got to spend the whole day with a bona fide celebrity. Exciting, isn’t it? Maya grows excited and disrupts the braiding to whip around, gushing about the situation and how amazing the rest of the week is going to be. She’s going to get real feedback from one of her absolute diva heroes.

She also lights up with an idea, stating that Katy should 100% meet Valerie. Katy humbly claims they already met at the diner, but Maya means more officially. As parents of their daughters’ new best friends, if nothing else. She’s sure Isadora wouldn’t mind. Katy tentatively agrees that might be fun.

It’s evident there’s something else on her mind, but she’s struggling to find a way to discuss it. Maya thinks nothing of it, jumping to her feet to go and prep a soothing tea before bed. Only one problem -- the stove isn’t working. It won’t light. When Maya points this out, Katy fumbles before laughing and stating she must’ve forgotten to pay the gas bill.

Maya: You? Forgetting to pay a bill? It is a week for the unimaginable, huh?

Katy laughs along, Maya settling for warm milk instead. So long as she can take care of her voice and get all ready for bed. The moment to say whatever she wanted to say passes, Katy twisting her fingers together before beginning to clean up their dinner.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

As the school bell rings, we’re thrown into Valerie week truly beginning. This, as it were, seems to involve yoga of a certain variety -- Valerie takes a deep, theatrical inhale as she sits at the center of the classroom. The desks have been pushed along the walls and the performers are seated in a messy circle around her, emulating her breathing exercises with varying levels of commitment. Maya is following to a tee, breathing impassioned and declarative; Nigel, on the other hand, is lowkey checking his phone while everyone else’s eyes are closed.

The techies are even less convincing. They’re seated cross-legged on top of the desks rather than on the floor. Dave is seeing how long he can hold his breath as Valerie goes on to explain the importance of an even inhale and exhale, Jade and Nate timing him.

All the calm breathing puts Dylan to sleep. His head falls on Asher’s shoulder, who opens one eye to peek at him and fails to hold back a fond smile.

Lucas listens expressionlessly, watching everyone else but clearly not impressed himself. He breaks his stony facade only once, when Isadora opens her eyes to glance around and they make eye contact. For a moment, neither of them do anything -- then Lucas makes a face, almost causing her to laugh and disrupt her mother’s elaborate speech on the diaphragm.

Thankfully, the meditation doesn’t last much longer. As Valerie rises to her feet and cheerfully repeats the benefits of a nice and supportive breathing technique in every day life, the class works to put their desks back in relative circular order.

Now, Valerie declares, it’s time for the real fun to begin. Who will be the first to kick off performances and set the tone for the week? A challenge certainly, but she’s more than confident someone in this talented class will have the chops to pull it off…

Although it seems like Maya is chomping at the bit… someone beats her to it. No, it’s not Maya -- nor Isadora, as Valerie eyeing her curiously seems to wish -- but Riley who raises her hand and volunteers to step up to the plate. This causes a ripple of surprise amongst the A class, but Valerie is going to encourage whoever is bold enough to do it. She gestures Riley up, swapping places with her at her desk as she takes center stage.

Riley clears her throat and gets ready to perform, only for Valerie to immediately stop her. It catches her off-guard, wondering what she could’ve already done wrong, but Valerie merely reminds her to introduce herself. Make an entrance into their attention spans, really take the room by storm!

So Riley nods along, squaring her shoulders and trying the moment again. Who she is, what she’s there to do, and what she’s singing about.

Riley: I’m Riley Matthews, Junior A class. I’m here because I love to perform and would love to see where it might take me… but to be honest, right now I kind of just wish everyone would stop being so stupid.

A bold statement. The class reacts in amusement, Zay raising his eyebrows and exchanging an intrigued grin with Yindra.

Tell ‘em what they need to hear, Riles.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Come to Mama” as performed by Lady Gaga || Performed by Riley Matthews (feat. Valerie De La Cruz)

Upbeat and fun but also more than to the point lyrically, Riley delivers on this Gaga bop with the enthusiasm and gusto of a girl who truly has nothing else to lose. It’s a rallying cry just as Zay suggested she try, an anthem about letting go and forgiving and forgetting lest everything fall apart. She relays the important message of coming together to work things out while playfully interacting with her classmates.

Halfway through, Valerie jumps up and joins in on the song with her. As she goes, the two of them stay at center stage and Valerie gives non-verbal tips on how to improve Riley’s performance and confidence in the midst of the song. Adjustments to her posture, reminding her to smile, lots of cute touches and little details like that. It’s a fascinating dynamic to watch, as well as to observe how Valerie coaches.

Well, to most people. Whereas Lucas was moderately engaged while Riley was performing, he checks out the moment Valerie steps in.

As they conclude the number, Valerie leads the class in uproarious applause. She congratulates Riley for a grand performance and for being brave enough to lead the charge. Definitely a job well done!

She explains that she’ll want to meet with Riley that afternoon for their one-on-one so she doesn’t forget her notes, but she’ll also be meeting with other students regardless of whether they’ve performed yet. She directs them all to the sign-up sheet that Harper has set up, where they will sign up for a one-on-one time as well as when they plan to perform.

Valerie claps to herself again as the room moves around her, bustling to sign up and regroup. The week is off to a swimming start!

INT. AAA - PRACTICE ROOM - DAY

Well... not for everyone, exactly. Farkle is alone in the practice room, flipping through a song book and lightly tapping out starting notes on the piano. Nothing is settling right with him. The quiet of the room doesn’t offer much help either.

As long as it lasts, that is. Farkle lifts his gaze as footsteps and voices approach, Zay and Charlie appearing outside the practice room and in the midst of conversation. It seems his status as invisible is still in effect, because the boys don’t even notice Farkle in the corner as they step just inside the doorway to have a more private discussion.

They’re chatting about Valerie’s assignment and worldly advice, all of it obviously giving Charlie a good amount of stress. Did Zay see him wipe out on the first day of her visit? He laments how he doesn’t know how the hell he’s supposed to give emotional authenticity to a performance when he can’t even do that in his normal life half the time. Zay empathizes, pointing out that very truth in reference to something from earlier in their conversation -- the holidays.

Charlie: It’s like, what does she want me to do? Go up to my good Catholic mother and say “hello, Eleanor! Just wanted to give you the quick timely heads up that I, your darling only son, am a dirty sinner” --

[ Farkle visibly reacts to this, eyes widening in surprise. It’s evidently news to him. ]

Charlie: -- “and oh, can we invite my heathen bi boyfriend that you don’t know about over for Thanksgiving dinner? Hold that thought though, gotta go give a really emotionally authentic performance for my classmate’s crazy superstar mother!”

Zay pulls Charlie back from the metaphorical ledge, taking his shoulders and (ironically) encouraging him to breathe. He reminds him that he holds no expectations about Thanksgiving, so he shouldn’t consider that a concern.

And when it comes to the performance, he doesn’t have to do anything but give a good rendition of whatever he chooses to sing. Just because Valerie is here doesn’t mean that everything suddenly changes, and she’s not gonna know whether what he shows her is authentic or not despite claiming she can know them all in the span of a week.

Zay: So give a damn good performance like you always do, and you won’t have to worry about whether or not it’s emotionally “authentic” --

Charlie, in a murmur: Or the fact that she has a point…

Charlie lifts his gaze, locking eyes with him. His inability to be authentic -- or know what that even means for him -- isn’t something he can run from forever, and both of them know it. Zay gives him a soft look, squeezing his shoulders before giving him another reassurance. It doesn’t have to be solved today.

All in all, sort of an intense and intimate conversation to accidentally overhear. Farkle watches as the two of them exit back into the hall, obviously internalizing this new information but having no clue what to do with it.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Eric finally manages to catch up with Jack, catching him during the lunch hour. He promises to make it quick, before throwing in some offhand commentary about Jack’s early disappearance yesterday afternoon.

Jack: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you would be needing me. I had plans with Anne-Marie.

Eric: [ with a stiff nod ] Prior engagement.

Jack: But, in my defense, a typical work day is 9 to 5.

Eric: It was 3PM.

Jack: I put in a lot of overtime already.

Details aside, Eric explains that he wanted to touch base about how they think Valerie’s visit is going. He thinks it’s going rather well, whereas Jack is still firm on his stance that it may be fun but still feels unnecessary. He’s not convinced that she’s not going to cause more trouble than improvement. There’s an odd tension between the two of them because of it, although it’s not clear whether all of the animosity is coming from this specific disagreement.

Eric chooses to avoid it for now, changing the subject. He starts to note that he thinks they should pay some additional attention to Farkle Minkus -- he observed some odd behavior in class the other day, and given how things ended last year…

Jack is obviously on the same page, but a phone call startles them both and disrupts the train of thought. Jack asks for just a quick minute and answers the call, Eric holding up his hands in surrender and claiming they’ll discuss it later.

They exchange nods and suddenly the conversation is over, Eric looking a bit dissatisfied as he steps out of the office.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

In this particular case, Jack might be making the right call about Valerie. Trouble begins to brew right after lunch, as Lucas returns to the auditorium to find the rest of the techie crew grouped uncertainly on the stage. When he asks what’s going on and why they’re not at their usual stations, Asher explains that Shawn directed them here. Apparently, Valerie wants to chat with them about their “expectations” for the week.

Lucas: Oh, this better be fucking good…

With Valerie De La Cruz, it’s certainly guaranteed to be a spectacle. She greets them with a flourish as she struts over to join them and the performers filter in behind her, spreading out across the auditorium for individual rehearsal time. Jade timidly asks what they’ll be expected to do during this week of emotional authenticity, to which Val delivers what she clearly believes is a wonderful declaration.

Valerie: [ with gusto ] Nothing.

Dave: Nothing?

Valerie: Nothing! We won’t be needing your specific services this week.

It’s obvious none of them know how to react to this. Sure, the performers have been flippant about their contributions many a time, but never has the dismissal been so… blatant. Or stated as if it’s the nicest little treat. They’re stunned, they’re confused, Lucas is definitely miffed. Dylan is staring at Valerie with his jaw dropped open, totally lost.

Lucas: I’m sorry, you what?

Valerie: Well, given that this week is all about emotional authenticity, I don’t anticipate we’ll be needing many of your… elements. Well, except perhaps lighting --

Jeff: Oh, thank God.

Valerie: Besides, you all work so hard every single week. Consider this your reprieve, even if only for a short while.

Lucas: So what are we supposed to do instead?

Valerie: Take it easy! Enjoy the performances! [ Lighting up with excitement ] In fact, I would love to see the lot of you try your hands at a little performance art. I bet there’s lots of talent brewing in this flock of rare birds!

That sounds like the last thing any of them want to do. Jade blushes preemptively, already mortified. Asher instinctively turns away and half ducks behind Dylan, tucking his head against his shoulder to avoid eye contact.

More than anything, Lucas is pissed. He shakes his head wordlessly as Valerie flounces off to rally the rest of the class. Before class can get going again he gathers his things that he just set down, marching back the way he came.

Nate: Don’t wanna enjoy the performances?

Lucas: I’d rather die.

Dylan: Where are you going?

Lucas: Anywhere but here.

Hard to misunderstand that. The group of them watch him go, a bad mojo settling in the air. Asher lifts his head from hiding behind Dylan, exchanging a loaded look with him.

Back at front and center stage, Harper and Valerie are convening to discuss how the rest of the week will unfold. The students are in break-out sessions right now rehearsing, but Valerie is welcome to set up camp in her classroom for one-on-ones. She hands over the roster for sign ups, the starlet taking it with delight. Let the mentoring begin!

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

A quick cut montage ensues of Valerie sitting in the black box at a desk, chatting with each of the junior A class in bursts of personality. You know how we love those montages here at AMBITION. However, there’s a lot going on in this episode already, so you can fill in the blanks for the most part. Good luck, Valerie!

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - LATER

The montage wraps up as Riley timidly enters the black box, Valerie enthusiastically greeting her and guiding her over to sit in the desk across from where she’s set up camp. She starts by sharing congratulations again for being bold enough to kick off the week. It’s clear that Riley has a lot of talent, and Valerie is fully supportive of how brightly she can shine -- when she puts herself out there and steps up with confidence, that is.

Riley: Yeah, I… [ a beat, softer ] someone has told me that before, actually.

Valerie also commends the efforts she’s putting into quelling the dissent in their class. While she’s impressed by her initiative, she wonders if perhaps there might be some… inconsistencies muddying her overall effectiveness. When Riley asks for clarification, Valerie takes a moment to compose her thoughts before speaking again.

Valerie: I have no doubt that your endeavor to heal your broken class is motivated only by good intentions. But often times, a heroic mission can be… stilted, if the words seem to be coming from an untrustworthy source.

Riley: … so, you think I come off untrustworthy?

Valerie: Oh, no! Ha, ha, no, dear, not at all. And I’ve met Justin Bieber, okay, I know untrustworthy when I see it. [ a beat ] I simply mean that… sometimes, what we preach isn’t what we practice, and that can make it more difficult for others to follow our example. You want your classmates to stop holding one another on trial for certain events, from what I understand. Forgive and forget, in a sense. [ beat ] I’m only wondering if perhaps there are places in your own life where… this logic has yet to be applied.

Although Valerie doesn’t know much of what she’s talking about, she’s doing a good job of swinging blindly. Riley absorbs this, Valerie going on to state that whatever she might be thinking about, it might be good to do it sooner rather than later -- if her fears about her class falling apart again are well founded.

Much to think about…

INT. AAA - DRESSING ROOM HALL - DAY

Charlie is heading out of the dressing room when Darby and Sarah catch his attention. They’re definitely giggly, which is already a warning sign.

Darby: Charlie, why didn’t you say anything?

Charlie: … about what?

Sarah: You know… [ knowingly ] about your little crush?

Charlie immediately tenses up, asking what the hell they’re talking about. But they’re just like hee hee hee, and generally unhelpful. He refutes having a crush on anyone -- poorly, since he’s so flustered -- which just makes them laugh harder. He rushes out of the dressing room hall, their laughter echoing behind him.

INT. AAA - COSTUME LOFT - DAY

Zay is chilling in the costume loft, jotting down some ideas for a performance for the week on his inner arm. He brightens when Charlie shows up, already out of breath as he finishes climbing the step ladder to the loft.

Before Zay can get a word in edgewise, Charlie launches into nervous musings about how people might be onto them. He paces, trying to figure out what could’ve given it away or where he went wrong while Zay just tries to keep up with how fast he’s talking. When he manages to ask what the hell prompted this and Charlie explains the moment with Darby and Sarah, Zay decides he might be reading into it.

Zay: I don’t think they’re talking about the same thing you think they are, Charlie.

Charlie: I mean, do I come off like I’m keeping a secret? Am I twitchy? Do I just radiate some kind of natural secret-y aura?

Zay, pointedly: Don’t think you want me to answer that, babe --

Charlie makes a face, taking a deep breath. When he’s pulled it back together, at least minimally, he states that he and Zay need to tread more cautiously. Clearly he’s not thinking enough, and if he’s not careful it’s going to come back to bite him.

Zay has no idea what that even means. They’re just… existing. What else does he want them to do? Charlie doesn’t know either, and Zay states that he thinks Charlie is thinking too much.

In search of ways to alleviate the imaginary problem, Charlie starts brainstorming ways to avoid any possible suspicion that they might be… involved. And lucky for him, there’s already a Broadway tune that can do just that…

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “People Will Say We’re In Love” as performed by Oklahoma! Original Broadway Cast || Performed by Charlie Gardner & Zay Babineaux

Continuing their pattern of taking romantic theater classics and making them iconically gay, Charlie takes the lead with the Laurey verses and gives Zay a list of ways for them to prove they’re not in love to the rest of the world. As he sings the line “Don’t sigh and gaze at me, your sighs are so like mine,” Zay realizes he is in fact gazing fondly and shakes it off, switching back into sarcastically amused.

When Charlie warns Zay not to start “collecting things,” and asks for his things back, Zay begrudgingly reaches into his pocket and places one of Charlie’s rosaries into his palm. Charlie uses the opportunity to take his hand, the two of them standing close as he finishes his verse.

Then Zay takes the reins, a little more playful in his delivery and somewhat mocking the intensity of all this secrecy. He jokingly points to the back wall of the costume loft when he claims he “carved our initials on that tree,” Charlie rushing to go check that he’s lying when Zay takes his arm and spins him back around. He taps Charlie’s chin affectionately as he reminds him to take some of his own advice, grinning as Charlie pulls away from him in a huff.

Naturally, Zay is much like Curly in that he personally doesn’t care much if the world knows they’re in love. The line “Don’t praise my charm too much, don’t look so vain with me” is practically custom built for them, Charlie catching his own disdainful expression and turning away from Zay in embarrassment.

While the dancing of the number is really just skirting around one another, it’s a nice change of pace to get to highlight their vocal ability and charm for a spell. Zay ends up back-to-back with Charlie as he gets to the verse how holding his hand feels, both of them obviously gleaning comfort from the touch even though they can’t see each other’s expressions.

As Zay sings the last couple of lines, he gently spins Charlie by the arm so that they’re facing one another again. All of the nervous energy that started the number has fizzled to something softer, the romantic tension palpable as always as they stand inches apart.

Problem solved or not (or problem at all to begin with), it’s clear that this is the most “emotionally authentic” performance Charlie will be giving this week.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Valerie is at her highest pitch of enthusiastic as Isadora comes to join her for a one-on-one. They exchange some niceties, Valerie breaking the ice by commenting how silly it is for the two of them to have a structured meeting. She claims they can just have a real conversation -- they haven’t had much time to really catch up yet, as it were.

Isadora agrees that would be nice, but she expresses hesitancy about having an open dialogue. She doesn’t want to say something wrong. But Valerie points out she’s here all week, and nothing she could say will change that nor the excitement she has about getting to spend the upcoming holiday with her. From how earnest she is, Valerie clearly means it.

This means a lot to Isadora, but she isn’t completely sold yet. She offers a timid smile, and Valerie gets the picture that a deeper conversation might have to wait. She smartly shifts gears to the assignment at hand, prompting Isadora to tell her all about what sort of number she might want to pull off this week.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Jack is just in the midst of a phone conversation with one of the secretaries when Harper marches into his office, obviously on a mission. He glances at her, casually telling them to reschedule his 1PM call.

When he asks what he can do for her, she launches into a metered complaint about how Lucas has skipped class once again. This time, in fact, he just walked right out of the auditorium in plain view of the entire class. Jack takes a deep breath and closes his eyes as she continues her diatribe, stating that it’s not only going to impact his education, it’s also being blatantly disrespectful. She’s trying her best to remain calm and even-tempered about it, but the repeated offenses are clearly getting to her.

Jack claims he’ll have another chat with him, but Harper is quickly learning to associate that promise with doing nothing. Jack has had many chats with Lucas since she started at the school three months ago, and his behavior has hardly improved. She questions if he truly isn’t going to do anything about it, to which Jack evenly retorts that he just said he would handle it. Harper almost lets it be...

Harper: … doesn’t it seem a bit odd, though?

Jack: Odd?

Harper: You’re such an authoritarian -- which I respect, by the way. Lucas, it seems to me, is someone who seriously needs authority. Yet you don’t seem to be taking a -- I’m not attempting to criticize, sir, but don’t you think Lucas could do with a little bit of --

Jack: Lucas Friar is… [ a beat ] a special case.

Harper: So is the whole junior class, apparently. I’m only saying that --

Jack, firmly: I’ve got it under control, Harper. That’ll be all, then?

Jack’s shift in tone is subtle, but the message is clear. Leave it alone. Harper can identify a warning signal when she sees it, so she nods and apologizes for barging in. Jack thanks her for letting him know, nodding her out.

Still, Harper doesn’t seem convinced, even if she won’t continue to argue it to Jack’s face. She makes her way out without further comment.

Jack goes back to his work, releasing a sigh. His mood is not improved by the notations on more messages he’s gotten from the mysterious Bradfords. He picks up his phone, deciding to make a call and set the record straight.

EXT. CHUBBIE’S DINER - DAY

Farkle is making his way down the street, hands stuffed in his pockets and head ducked down from the wind as he shuffles into the diner.

INT. CHUBBIE’S DINER - DAY

Farkle pulls his scarf from around his neck and steps up to the counter, requesting a pick-up order for his family. The waitress informs him that it’ll be ready in just a minute, Farkle nodding and waiting restlessly by the counter. He taps his fingers on the countertop, glancing around him at the other patrons eating in good company at the booths and tables.

He’s startled when Katy says his name, gaining his attention. She’s obviously not 100% sure it’s him until he faces her, offering an uncertain smile and asking him how he’s doing. Although Katy is on Maya’s side in all things, it’s clear that she still maintains a friendliness towards Farkle even if her daughter is quite decidedly anti at this point.

Farkle is saved from more small talk by his order being ready. He wishes Katy well and heads over to gather utensils and condiments by the door, Katy looking after him with sympathy and a little bit of concern.

Maya doesn’t even notice him as she breezes through the doors with Valerie and Isadora in tow. She eagerly pulls Katy out from behind the counter and leads the more formal introduction of the single mothers, eyes sparkling with excitement as two of her role models really meet for the first time. Katy is flustered and gives her high compliments, not prepared to meet her again in such a humdrum setting. But Valerie thinks nothing of it, easing the tension with a joke or two about her own waitressing days. Ha ha ha!

As they’re chatting, the subject of Thanksgiving comes up. Maya gets the bright idea that since they’re both working with unconventional family dynamics, they should totally do the holiday together! Especially since she and Isadora are such good friends now.

Isadora enthusiastically agrees, perhaps a little too eagerly for someone who is supposed to be thrilled to be spending time with her starlet mother. Might be easier to stomach a holiday with her actual mother if she’s not facing it alone. Valerie asks Isadora if she’s sure she doesn’t have any other plans that might be conflicting with, and she only hesitates for a moment before confirming it’s all good.

Farkle, of course, hears all of this. It’s a bit surprising to hear Isadora dismiss any other plans so flippantly, considering even he knows about how she and Lucas would usually spend the holiday together because it was so sad and often the subject of performer dressing room gossip the week back from break. He also is doing a weak job of hiding his jealousy, finishing prepping his to-go bag and starting to head out before he hears anything else.

That’s when Valerie notices him, recognizing him from school.

Valerie: Oh, hey! [ waiting for him to stop and turn ] Aren’t you from AAA? In the A class with Isadora?

[ Awkward. While Valerie is all smiles, Maya and Isadora stare at Farkle as he gawks like a deer in headlights. ]

Farkle: … yes. Goodbye.

He doesn’t give them the chance to say anything else, pushing out the doors. Valerie raises her eyebrows, giving Katy a playful nudge.

Valerie: Little wiggly, that one, wouldn’t you say? Although, don’t I know the feeling! When I am away from the stage for too long, I’ll tell you, withdrawal jitters --

Maya and Isadora exchange a look, the former shaking her head dismissively and tuning back into the conversation with their moms. Isadora lingers on it a bit longer, glancing back over her shoulder where Farkle left.

EXT. CHUBBIE’S DINER - NIGHT

The sun has set by the time Valerie and Isadora head out from Chubbie’s, Valerie asking if she’d like to do something else. Catch a movie, perhaps? Something touristy? A trip to the salon -- she’s been contemplating some new looks that she thinks Isadora could totally rock. But Isadora is feeling a bit suffocated, so she claims she really needs to get back.

As they walk in the direction of the subway, Valerie holds up the conversation. She talks brightly about the A class, sharing her thoughts on who she’s chatted with so far and getting Isadora’s thoughts on it. When Farkle comes up, Valerie comments on his perceivable ostracism and how quickly he escaped their greeting.

Valerie: A bit strange, no?

Isadora: Not really. He kind of ruined everybody’s lives at the end of last year, so they’re all pissed at him. Sort of playing the villain… at least he was. No one is really paying him much attention anymore.

Valerie: What exactly did he do?

Isadora: Honestly, it’s not even worth talking about. It was just stupid and… whatever. He got what he deserved, so I guess people are just letting it die out.

Valerie: … is that really all there is to it, though?

Isadora: What do you mean?

Valerie: I just mean… is letting it go really letting it go? Forgetting is a far cry from forgiving, and believe me when I say I know all too well how important forgiveness can be. It’s more so for the other person than the one giving it, but… you know. Take you and me. You’re forgiving me -- for much worse than I presume Farkle Minkus could’ve done -- and that means all the world to me.

Isadora absorbs the sentiment, not sure how to handle the sudden vulnerability of the conversation despite how willingly Valerie offers it. She goes on to simply state perhaps letting the issue die down isn’t going to do anyone any favors… something to think about, in any case.

The subject slowly drifts to someone Valerie thought she would be interacting with much more…

Valerie: I haven’t seen much of Lucas. [ a beat ] You don’t seem to be hanging around with him much, at least.

Isadora: … yeah, well, it’s the focus change. You know, I’m in performing classes now more than I was before. So it’s just… scheduling things. Mostly.

Valerie: Oh, of course. Don’t I know about scheduling conflicts. [ tentatively ] But certainly, for best friends, you would find the time --

Isadora ends the conversation preemptively, claiming she can walk the rest of the way to the station from here on her own. She gives Valerie a smile, thanking her for the dinner and assuring her that she’ll see her again bright and early tomorrow.

Lucas is clearly something she’s not keen to discuss at the moment. However, you can practically see the little diva wheels start turning in Valerie’s head…

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Lucas is gearing up to head out somewhere, phone pressed to his ear as he tears from the hall to the entryway. He doesn’t seem to be in the best mood, given the circumstances of the week.

Lucas: What do you mean Asher isn’t coming? [ a beat ] No, I mean, it’s whatever, I’m not going to force him to hang out with me. [ beat ] No, no, I don’t think it’s that deep, I just -- no, I don’t care. I’ll see him tomorrow, it’s not like the end of the world. [ beat ] Whatever, Dyl, I’ll be down in two minutes. Bye.

He hangs up without waiting for a response, huffing as he focuses on jamming on his boots. GRACE FRIAR emerges from the kitchen to catch him before he goes, letting him know that there’s been a change of plans in the family schedule. She warns him that Kenneth is going to be home for the holiday week.

Lucas is obviously stunned by this. His reaction is indignant, although there’s a hint of something that goes just beyond commonplace discomfort.

Lucas: What? He wasn’t -- I thought he was gonna be in Texas. Gone for Thanksgiving, here for Christmas.

Grace: That’s what I thought too, but he called this morning from the school to let me know. They shifted around the dates. Here for Thanksgiving, gone for Christmas.

It’s evident neither of them are exactly thrilled. Lucas is suddenly tenser than before, pacing the confines of the entryway and rubbing his eyes. He tries to search for another explanation for his frustration to compartmentalize it.

Lucas: I already made plans. I’m going to Asher’s.

Grace: Oh? What about Isadora?

Lucas, bitterly: She’s got plans of her own.

Grace: [ after a moment ] Well, don’t change your plans. I’m sure the Garcias are going to host a lovely dinner. Just given how… neat Asher is. [ Lucas scoffs ] It’ll probably be good for you to be there. Better than here.

The resulting silence speaks volumes. Lucas looks at his mother, uncertain.

Lucas: I can ask Asher if you could come --

Grace: Oh, no. No, don’t worry about that. [ Crossing her arms ] Besides… someone has to share the holiday with your father.

The statement is nice, but the sweetness that goes with it isn’t genuine. It’s not a privilege, it’s likely a punishment, and they both know it.

Grace waves him off and tells him to go have fun, disappearing back into the apartment. Lucas looks after her, suddenly heavier with the weight of the conversation. With the knowledge that there’s nothing he can do about… well, anything, really.

He grabs his denim jacket off the rack, storming out the door in a flurry. Just as his apartment door swings closed --

INT. BLUE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Another opens, finding Isadora standing just outside. Rather than going home, she’s found herself outside the apartment of BLUE NGUYEN. Given that it’s been a hot minute since last season, it’s nice to see him again! He gives Isadora a light hug before gesturing her inside.

Isadora apologizes for texting so unexpectedly, but he reassures her it’s no biggie. He knows how sometimes going back to the Van Herschings is far from a sweet escape. She reiterates that point, before he prompts her to talk about what is really stressing her out -- the incomparable Valerie De La Cruz.

True enough. Isadora explains that she’s glad she’s here, and it’s clear she’s making a real effort to connect with her which she appreciates. But it’s just a lot to adjust to all at once, hence why she’s glad she’ll have the buffer of the Harts there for Thanksgiving dinner. She feels ungrateful too, since this should be exactly what she wants.

Blue points out that being a foster kid, relationships with your biological parents are guaranteed to be complicated. It’s never going to be a simple dynamic, and while Isadora should feel happy Valerie is there, she is allowed to feel confused and reluctant and even bitter too. Whatever she feels about it all, that’s valid, and she shouldn’t try to shut those feelings down because of what she “owes” anyone else.

It’s a relief to hear someone say it, even if Isadora logically knew it to be true. She thanks Blue, stating that it kind of feels like she can’t really talk to anyone else about this (Valerie, Maya, least of all Lucas...).

Blue: Any time. You know that. But are you sure you can’t talk to Maya about it? Seems like she’d know a thing or two about mixed up parents.

Isadora: Yeah, but… you have no idea how much she admires my mom.

Yeah, such a level of starstruck is difficult to encapsulate. And we’re about to get a full dose of it… as the bouncy bass line floats in…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Valerie” as performed by Glee Cast || Performed by Maya Hart

Maya delivers a banging rendition of the song, clearly not afraid of pulling some direct punches to get across how much she idolizes their current guest lecturer. It’s cheeky fun in some ways, a little too much in others -- not to mention a sort of weird song choice that her classmates definitely don’t miss.

Dave, whispering: Isn’t this song about like… trying to get with Valerie?

Dylan: Shhhh.

Weirdness aside, it’s an undeniably well-crafted performance. Maya sells it with gusto, and her vocals and dancing are as impressive as ever. Valerie certainly seems charmed, if nothing else.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Coming off of that interesting performance, Eric is checking in with Isadora to see how she’s handling the presence of her mom at school. The effort definitely means something to Isadora, considering how she was just expressing to Blue that she felt like there was no one she could talk to about the whole thing.

Although it’s not going badly all in all, suffice to say there are… awkward elements to it.

Isadora: Is there a good way to explain to your friend that she just sang a song that implies she wants to score with your mother?

Eric laughs, admitting that might be a tricky one. She goes on to say similar things to what she told Blue, lamenting the fact that while she’s glad Valerie is here, she feels as though there aren’t many people to talk to about how she feels. Eric reiterates his availability, but gently questions her perspective on it.

Eric: There’s… no hope with Lucas, you think?

Isadora: God, no way. He already hates her, and anything I say is only going to piss him off. Which I don’t want, even if it’s on my behalf. Not to mention he’s already so all over the place right now, skipping class and being careless, and then there’s the thing with the vandalism --

Eric: Wait, what? What are you talking about?

Isadora hesitates. Does he not know? Lucas was the one who vandalized the set piece during Into the Woods. Was she not supposed to say that? Eric is obviously shocked to learn this.

Isadora: … I told Principal Hunter about it. I assumed you guys just took care of it. Was I not supposed to...?

Eric: [ collecting himself ] No, no. It’s fine, you’re completely fine. It’s just… Jack told me…

A lie, apparently. He told him he couldn’t figure out who did it, but now Isadora is saying otherwise. Being hard to reach is one thing, but outright keeping him out of the loop...

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

The techies are congregated in the black box, an unfamiliar grouping place for them. But they’re not “needed” in the auditorium, so goofing off in the only place not riddled with starstruck performers is the move. Nate, Dylan, and Jeff are playing cards. Jade is doing hem work on a costume piece, Asher being her model and standing carefully on a desktop while she circles him and does her thing.

Lucas is at the whiteboard, erasing the notes Harper has written and haphazardly replacing it with his own nonsense. He continues to do so as the other techies get into making fun of Maya’s performance, discussing how weird it was. Jeff points out that Maya probably wasn’t thinking about it all that literally, but Asher counterpoints with the fact that that certainly doesn’t keep the rest of them from thinking about it.

Nate: It’s just such a kiss ass move. If she really wanted to win over Valerie, she probably already did it by getting in Isa’s good graces.

Jade: Suppose she hardly needs the song to boost her after that.

Although he doesn’t contribute to the conversation, Lucas clearly absorbs the notion about Maya using Isadora to get to Valerie. It’s nothing he hasn’t already thought about, but hearing someone else point it out sure does make the possibility seem uglier…

As if summoned, who should float into the room and disrupt their relative peace than Valerie herself. She gives all of them her usual level of charisma, asking if they’ll pardon her intrusion and how wonderful it is to see all of them enjoying their time en repose. Jade removes the needle from between her lips, hiding it behind her back.

Dave asks if there’s something they’re needed for, which Valerie waves off. She assures them that the performers are all hard at work rehearsing or debriefing, so she thought she’d take the quick reprieve of her own to stop by. In fact, she was hoping to have a spot of conversation with Lucas James.

The other techies hesitate, before immediately making excuses to get out of there. Nate pats Lucas on the shoulder as he goes. Dylan helps Asher down from the desktop, the two of them tossing a look of solidarity towards Lucas before they make their escape with Jade. It’s not long before it’s only Valerie and Lucas left in the space, the vast distance between them much more prominent than before.

Lucas clears his throat, turning back to the whiteboard and continuing his shenanigans. Valerie doesn’t seem perturbed, as she came into this meeting knowing full well it wouldn’t be easy. She keeps her smile intact, sauntering further into the room.

Valerie: I was wondering when we’d finally get the chance to chat. Must admit I’ve been looking forward to it. [ a beat ] I couldn’t help but notice you neglected to sign up for a one-on-one slot.

Lucas, deadpan: Oh, did I? My mistake.

Valerie doesn’t let the shortness deter her. She elaborates, stating that she knows what an impact he has on Isadora’s life. A true friend, certainly, and as her mother she could only hope she would have such true friends. It’s all nice chatter, but Lucas looks unimpressed as he uncaps all the markers on the whiteboard to let them dry out.

Stiffness, she can handle, but being rejected attention entirely is a tough pill to swallow for a woman who has only ever known the spotlight. She doesn’t take the hint to leave him alone and continues to fill the silence, explaining how nice it’s been to spend time with Isadora and see all the growth she’s exhibiting. It makes her happy, and really proud. It’s been spectacular, seeing her daughter make so many strides.

This gets a snort out of Lucas. Valerie pauses, asking if something she said was particularly humorous. She wasn’t going for comedic in that moment.

Lucas: I just find it funny. You know, that you’re acting like Isadora is so important to you when you only decided to show up six months ago.

Blunt and to the point. Valerie gently corrects him on exactly how many months it’s been since Les Mis, but Lucas clearly doesn’t care about that. His point has been made. And he has better things to do than talk with a Hollywood puppet, so he is going to have to cut their chat short.

Valerie searches for something to make him stay while he gathers his things, already heading towards the door.

Valerie: I know that adolescence can be a difficult time for young men. So I will begrudge you the harsh words. I’m not one for holding grudges, personally. Surely my feud with Sofia Vergara that was famously put to rest with my generosity and quick thinking is a credit to that.

Lucas, flatly: By all means, grudge away.

Valerie: But I think you could return the same courtesy in granting me my truth. I know it might be hard to believe with your biases, but I care about Isadora. She’s my daughter, and… and I love her dearly.

This manages to stop Lucas in his tracks. He hangs in the doorway, debating whether or not to say anything. His logical brain knows he should just walk away, but his temper…

Lucas: What are her favorite shoes?

Valerie: .... beg pardon?

Lucas whips around, locking eyes with her. She’s successfully kept him from slipping away, but perhaps that isn’t such a good thing.

Lucas: Dora’s shoes. What’s her favorite pair?

Valerie: I -- I apologize, but I don’t exactly see how a pair of shoes is relevant --

Lucas: They’re black converse. She’s had them since seventh grade. They don’t even really fit anymore and they’re falling apart, and she’s doodled all over the soles. But she can’t get rid of them, because they’re basically a part of her. But okay, strike one. How about her favorite color? No parent really knows their kid’s favorite color, but since you don’t know anything else maybe you’ll at least randomly know that.

Valerie: I… again, I --

Lucas: Not even a guess?

Valerie: … green!

Lucas: It’s red. Strike two. How about her favorite movie? You’ve talked about movies, right? Or what about dream vacation? What kind of food makes her nauseous? What do you do if you’re in an overwhelming social situation and she starts to shut down? What would you do, Miss De La Cruz, if you were there?

Valerie is stunned. She’s suddenly in an overwhelming social situation, and she has no idea how to respond. She shakes her head, stammering over her words.

Lucas: Strike three. You’re out.

Valerie: That’s not fair. You may be right about certain things, but… we’re making reparations. We’re trying now, and that’s just as good. And if I were there --

Lucas: But you weren’t. You weren’t, so you don’t know shit about anything.

Valerie: Now, Lucas James, I won’t be --

Lucas: No, don’t talk down to me like you know better. Don’t speak at me like you know me. Because you don’t. You don’t know me, because you don’t know her! Suddenly showing up now doesn’t erase that. You weren’t there when she got into Adams, or when she pulled off her first stage managing gig. Or how about when the secret of your mere existence blew up and Dora had to be talked down in the bathroom, huh?

Valerie: … I --

Lucas, fiercely: You weren’t there, but I was! So don’t talk to me about caring about Dora!

… whew. That’s a lot of emotion to absorb. Valerie dips her head, all of her bravado peeled away and a shaky version of her left in its place. She searches for something to say, but nothing comes out. The streetsmart starlet with a motormouth has nothing to say.

Lucas steps back a bit, collecting himself. He never intended to get so heated, let alone in front of one of his least favorite people -- not when he was doing so well at pushing it all away. He shakes his head, letting out a scoff of a laugh.

Lucas: But it’s fine. It doesn’t matter. Isadora’s following in your footsteps now, and… [ swallowing ] barely needs me anymore. So I guess it’s the perfect time for you to swoop back in and play the perfect idol mother. Role of a lifetime.

Valerie tentatively locks eyes with him, but he can’t look at her anymore.

Lucas, derisively: Break a leg.

He storms out, leaving her alone. Valerie takes a deep breath, pressing her hands over her mouth and closing her eyes. Forcing herself to be zen -- which it seems she’s done many times before. But her hands are still shaking, even as she plasters on a well-rehearsed smile.

As any actress worth her salt knows, the show must go on…

INT. AAA - SCRIPT LIBRARY - DAY

Farkle is tucked away in the script library, continuing to sort through the masses. It looks like he’s made decent progress in the time he’s been working through his punishment, but he’s listless as he alphabetizes the only shelf he’s gotten into actual shape.

He’s startled out of his funk by voices just outside the script library, causing him to jump when they pass by.

Dylan: He was really upset that you weren’t there.

Farkle frowns, recognizing Dylan’s voice but not having any clue what he could be talking about. He moves back towards the door and leans against it, eavesdropping.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Asher and Dylan have stopped just outside the script library, hanging back for a moment rather than continuing towards the auditorium. Asher crosses his arms.

Asher: Oh, did he say that?

Dylan: Well, no, obviously not. I think we both know that the day Lucas actually says what he’s feeling his head is going to explode. [ off Asher’s expression ] But you know how he is, you can tell when he’s not acting like himself --

Asher: Kinda feels like every day.

Oh. It’s clear Asher didn’t mean to say that, and Farkle’s expression from listening behind the door proves exactly why. Lucas, Dylan, and Asher come across as such an iron-clad united front, so any inkling of dissent from either of them seems like groundbreaking news.

Dylan states that he understands why Asher didn’t go last night, the two of them having talked about how overwhelming his shenanigans have gotten for Asher after all. But Lucas evidently has no idea, and maybe choosing not to say anything about it is doing more harm than good.

Asher: And what am I supposed to say, Dylan? That he’s being ridiculous? That I think he’s being stupid and making things worse for himself, not to mention that you and I almost got in trouble for it during Into the Woods.

[ Dylan makes a face and nods, acknowledging the point. ]

Asher: He’s being so boneheaded about Isa, and I can’t even get started on Riley --

Dylan: She’s still being nice to him.

Asher: Yeah, duh, because she likes him.

Another interesting tidbit. Farkle is certainly learning a lot while being certifiably invisible.

Asher: And I get why he’s being so… whatever about that, he’s got his thing about humiliation -- but is that supposed to last forever? Is Riley supposed to just take whatever and continue to be kind and forgiving until he decides to come around? Which he might never do? I don’t see how she could fathom doing that when I’ve been one of his best friends for two years and I feel like I’m losing my --

Asher cuts himself off, thwarting a potential anxiety attack before it starts. Dylan watches him breathe himself down, obviously wanting to help but having no great ideas about how to fix the situation either.

Dylan: I mean... do you think maybe you and Lucas aren’t…

Asher, quickly: No. No, of course I’m not saying that. I just --

He shrugs, letting out an exhale. He doesn’t know what he’s saying or thinking. Dylan searches for a way to turn things around, rubbing Asher’s shoulders comfortingly.

Dylan: Things always get weirder around the holidays. We know that. But we’ll have a great time on Thanksgiving with Lucas. And no one will set anything on fire, and everything will be okay. It always is eventually.

Whether or not he’s right, the earnest delivery Dylan has is impossible not to believe. Asher lets out another deep breath, managing a smile and a nod. Better, for now. Dylan slides his hands down to take his, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before leading the way back down the hall.

Farkle leans against the door, thoughtful. So much information he’s absorbed in the last few days, it’s like he knows his classmates better than he has in the last three years.

Yet, he’s still alone. He lets out a sigh and goes back to organizing.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Jack is currently focused on exactly that, going over notes on Farkle’s behavior from Harper and Eric and gearing up to set a meeting with him. But before he can make any definitive moves, who should march in a huff?

Eric: So were you just never going to tell me?

Jack blinks, holding up a hand in surrender.

Jack: Sorry, I just… I didn’t realize we had jumped back in time. When was the last time you stormed into my office like this, Eric? Early sophomore year?

The playful tone quickly evaporates when it’s clear Eric is not being theatrical. He’s genuinely upset, wondering why Jack decided not to tell him about Lucas being the vandal. As far as he was aware, they were tackling things as a team. As far as he was aware, that meant keeping one another in the loop and not withholding information that they deem the other unable to handle. Are they just not telling each other anything anymore? Is that what it’s come to?

Jack goes on the defensive, attempting to maintain his calm as he claims he made a call in the moment that felt right. But Eric calls bullshit, considering how pro-poetic justice he was acting for their entire investigation. Did Lucas end up getting that swift punishment? Or did he make a “call in the moment” about that too?

The situation escalates, the disagreement over communication quickly devolving into the other frustrations they have with one another but have been stifling for quite some time. Jack harps on how Eric has always acted like he just knows better than him, even though Jack was here before he was and has worked his ass off for years to keep AAA afloat. Eric fires back that he feels Jack is allowing his focus to be split, leaving work whenever and prioritizing his own personal fancies over who needs it most -- the students.

Jack is deeply offended by the insinuation, retorting that it’s not his fault Eric has no semblance of a work-life balance. It’s not his fault that Jack has a life outside the school, and that doesn’t make him any less serious about the school and the students in their care than Eric. It’s bullshit, and Eric knows it. The only reason he continues to dismiss him is because he’s not an “artist,” and so he’s never going to be good enough for him.

It’s a nasty argument, and shots are fired on both sides that they can’t take back. But the comment about having a life outside of work is a deep cut for Eric, enough to stop him cold and run out of things to say back. In terms of how Jack will never be good enough for him…

Eric: [ in a murmur ] Is that really what you think I think?

Jack shrugs, crossing his arms. Is he wrong? Eric thinks so, but then, he doesn’t have the words to explain the opposite. At present, he can hardly look at him without a lot of emotion he’s not prepared to deal with bubbling over.

Well, that’s that then. As Eric is heading out, he doubles back and states he doesn’t think he’ll be joining the Hunters for Thanksgiving anymore. He supposes he should be with his brother and niece, as they actually need him right now. After all...

Eric: I know where my priorities lie.

He flurries out without waiting for a response. Jack watches him go, obviously wounded by the confrontation and all worked up. He loosens his tie and attempts to pull himself back together, startled when one of the secretaries pokes her head in and explains that the Bradfords are on the line… again.

Jack has had about enough of this. He straightens up, expression growing determined as he tells her to put them through. He’s going to put an end to this irritation once and for all.

INT. AAA - PRACTICE ROOM - DAY

Farkle is alone at the piano, playing a few notes of a song but clearly not all that into it. He’s surprised when Valerie stumbles into the room, looking for a place to escape for a moment after her confrontation with Lucas. She’s not shaking it off as easily as she’s used to. She starts digging through her bag, obviously looking for something in particular.

Even more surprising, she actually seems to notice him. When she locks eyes with him she startles, letting out an airy laugh and apologizing for intruding. Farkle shrugs it off, claiming she’s not the first. Completely changing pace, Valerie saunters further into the space and pulls him into a conversation -- the first to do so all episode. She asks him what he’s planning on doing for Thanksgiving.

Farkle: Nothing. My family doesn’t really celebrate.

Valerie: Oh? Is Thanksgiving not a Jewish-approved holiday?

Farkle: Well, it’s kind of a dumb holiday to begin with that has its roots in colonization and the eradication and displacement of indigenous peoples, so you’d think less people would celebrate... but no. Nothing like that. [ playing a few notes ] Family is just busy this time of year, that’s all. We put a lot more stake into the December gatherings, I suppose.

Valerie: Oh… yes. Of course.

Valerie notes that the two of them have yet to have their one-on-one, which is a shame considering he seems like someone greatly worth talking to. Farkle scoffs, stating she’s the only one who thinks that… but also it’s whatever. He doesn’t have much to say. Given that he just gave a mini-diatribe about Thanksgiving unprompted she highly doubts that’s true, and instead prompts him on another subject that she thinks might set him off. Or at least, get him talking… then maybe the rest will follow.

So she asks him about music.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “I Miss the Music” as performed by Curtains Original Broadway Cast || Performed by Farkle Minkus (starting at 00:15)

Valerie takes on the role of prompting Farkle to discuss the creation of a song, which then launches him into singing about his feelings much in the same way it unfolds in the original. He expresses wanting to avoid talking about feelings and yet ends up doing just that -- only in this case, it’s ex-friends rather than an ex-wife that he’s aching for.

Still, the message of the piece is clear. Farkle lost his team and so he lost his voice, and he has no idea how to get it back the way it was before. It’s the most vulnerable Farkle has been about the situation since it all went to hell, and in front of an unlikely party at that. Valerie doesn’t intrude much on the expression, sort of fading into the background.

At the 3:50 mark when the song is interrupted, it’s Maya accidentally stepping in and claiming she forgot her songbook. It is their usual studio, after all. Although Farkle says something snarky at first, before Maya heads out he tries again and congratulates her for a great performance. She accepts it, hesitantly, another small moment of warmth much like during Into the Woods that neither of them know what to do with now.

Then she leaves him again, pushing him into the final swell of the song. Just because no one is giving him the time of day, and he’s basically invisible, it doesn’t mean all of those emotions are invisible too.

As the song concludes, Valerie startles Farkle by applauding and immediately commending his abilities -- vocally and instrumentally. She also highlights how much raw emotion he’s able to translate into a performance, which he sort of shrugs off considering emotion has never been his strong suit.

Valerie leans against the piano, attempting to contextualize whatever happened last year that people keep talking about at length. Farkle isn’t interested in discussing it, but it’s clear he’d like to be able to actually move on from it. So Valerie gets her thinking cap on and gives him… well, it’s well-meant advice, that’s for sure, but as for whether it’s good…

Valerie: You know, I’ve had my fair share of scandal in the industry. Everyone does, if you hang around long enough. And you know what I’ve always found to be the quickest fix for a story that just won’t let you live?

Farkle, flatly: Expensive cover-up?

Valerie: [ with a laugh ] No, no. Only in grave emergencies. No, generally, I’ve always found that a new scandal always swiftly pushes out the old. Once people have latched onto the next thing, you’d be amazed how easily they forget the previous one.

This seems to inspire something in Farkle. He nods, thanking Valerie for the advice as well as the conversation. She brightens, absorbing the head-turn she managed after the horrible confrontation with Lucas.

As she flutters off, pleased with her work, Farkle goes back to the piano and ruminates on her advice. A new scandal… he plays a couple of discordant keys…

INT. JACK’S APARTMENT - DINING AREA - NIGHT

Jack is having dinner with ANNE MARIE WINTHROP, the latter in the midst of giving him a well-needed pep talk after the day he endured. While it’s evident that the dynamic that they have is good and solid, it’s worth noting that their mindsets are incredibly similar. Both authoritarian, both more logical thinkers rather than emotional. Not a lot of challenging their ways of thinking.

Anne Marie backs him up in his decisions that Eric criticized him for, pointing out that him blowing up demonstrates exactly why Jack kept the identity of the vandal under wraps. She thinks Eric is an incredibly thoughtful, sweet man from the times she’s met him, but being able to keep emotions in check is a pretty pivotal skill to have in an administrative role.

Anne Marie: Certainly wouldn’t fancy him a principal, you know?

She also backs his defense about having a work-life balance. He shouldn’t feel bad for separating his personal life from school, and getting more tangled up in the emotional in and outs wouldn’t help him be an effective leader anyway. No, she thinks he’s doing the right thing, and assures him as such with a comforting touch of the hand and logical reasoning.

Still, Jack doesn’t seem entirely placated. And when she points out that she’s positive he handled the behavioral issue with perfectly rational thought, he takes a long sip of his drink rather than choosing to comment. Interesting, how Jack can talk about most things work related with Anne Marie except for that one very special case...

INT. CHUBBIE’S DINER - NIGHT

Valerie steps into the diner, scanning the counter until she finds Katy cleaning up a spot a few seats down. She cheerfully greets the waitress, evidently surprising her with her presence.

Katy: I didn’t realize -- is there something I can do for you?

Valerie: Oh, just a little of your precious time would be lovely. Oh, and a slice of that peach cobbler? I will tell you, ever since we had some of that treasure the other night I have not been able to stop thinking about it. Like pure addiction, that is!

Katy laughs, obliging and bringing her a slice. She continues to clean the counter and wipe down other dishes as Valerie chats with her, enjoying the company of another woman her age that isn’t immured in the same celebrity sphere that she is.

Valerie states that Maya is an incredibly talented young woman, which Katy proudly echoes. When Valerie states it isn’t a wonder where she must’ve gotten it from, Katy sort of waves the compliment off. She then settles into something a little more somber, expressing gratitude towards Valerie for being so willing to humor them and spend time with Maya. It means the world to her, she knows, and it’ll really make the holiday special this year.

Katy: Given how things have been going lately, um… it’ll just be real nice to have an extra special Thanksgiving. One we’ll really remember.

Valerie claims she’s hardly worth such high praise, but she’s more than happy to oblige. Sensing some of the stress surrounding it, she also offers to handle all of the food and beverages for Thanksgiving. If Katy can provide the place, she’ll handle everything else. Katy is stunned and tries to argue, but Valerie won’t hear it.

Valerie: Please, not even a dent in my pocket. You just bring one of these fantastic peach cobblers, and I will arrange the rest.

An incredibly kind gesture. Valerie waits a moment before going on to express her admiration for Katy, how she raised Maya all on her own and is working so hard to give her all these opportunities. She could never do it -- in fact, she didn’t, and now she’s paying for it. She only wishes she could connect with her daughter as seamlessly as she does, and she has so much courage for doing what she couldn’t.

Katy bashfully accepts the compliment, stating that when it comes to Isadora, better late than never. In terms of how she manages to communicate so effectively, Katy gives one piece of advice that stands truer than anything else. Something that, perhaps, everyone could consider utilizing a bit more right now…

Katy: When it comes to nurturing that relationship, for how subtly and swiftly it changes as she grows up… I just think the most important thing I can do is listen. I can be there for her, and listening is always the first step.

Food for thought. Valerie is thoughtful, considering this as the opening tones of Isadora’s performance for the week float in…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Don’t Watch Me Cry” as performed by Jorja Smith || Performed by Isadora De La Cruz

Valerie’s expression is still thoughtful in the darkened auditorium, seated amongst the A class as Isadora gives her rendition of this hauntingly beautiful ode to being left behind. It’s a simple arrangement, Isadora silhouetted on the stage with a single spotlight highlighting her in some places but casting her in shadow in others. It’s the most she’s addressed the impact of Valerie in front of Valerie before, making for a shaky but quite emotionally authentic performance.

In fact, it might be too much for the preacher of authenticity herself. As the performance reaches its conclusion Valerie rises from her seat, overcome with emotion. Isadora sees her rush out, not hesitating to leave the stage and jog down the steps into the house after her.

The class watches them exit, definitely getting a taste of what a truly emotionally authentic moment feels like.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Isadora catches up to Valerie in the atrium, wondering why she left like that. Valerie is in tears, trying to wipe at her eyes and pull it back together with minimal luck. She didn’t mean to upset her, she was just doing her best to be “emotionally authentic” or whatever --

Valerie: Isadora, I am so, so sorry.

Valerie goes on to express how horrible she feels for all she put her through. Unintentionally or not, she had no idea how much her absence must’ve hurt her -- well, she had an idea, but not a true understanding of it. She knows she could never make up for that, as much as she now has decided she wants to. She is so deeply, deeply sorry.

It’s the first real apology Isadora has ever gotten from her mother. It’s the first real emotion she’s ever gotten from her even, and perhaps there’s a truth to emotional authenticity, because it’s more effective than any overt enthusiasm or compliment Valerie has ever given her. Suddenly, for the first time, Isadora actually feels connected to her biological mother.

She gently assures Valerie that it’s okay, and that she’s glad she finally heard her. Isadora means it when she claims she wants to try and have an actual relationship with her, but admittedly it’s not going to be easy. Valerie has done things in the past that make it hard to trust her, and so it’s going to take time. But if she’s okay with that, then Isadora is willing to put in the work if she is.

Valerie is somewhat placated by this, wiping her eyes again and nodding eagerly. She lets out a teary laugh and expresses embarrassment at how much of a puddle she’s become, before asking Isadora if it would be okay to hug her.

For once, Isadora allows it. It’s their first embrace as mother and daughter, whatever exactly that might come to mean for the both of them.

It’s more than evident, however, that it means a lot to them both.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Charlie is at his locker, scared out of his wits when he closes the door and Maya is standing there grinning at him. He yells, fumbling back a bit.

Charlie: OH MY… ah. Maya.

She gives him a winning smile, claiming that she just wanted to chat with him about the little “crush” she’s heard going around about him. His eyes widen, but before he can get a word in edgewise Maya is off on a tangent.

Maya: I’m flattered, truly, and to be honest you do have potential. You’re cute enough, and can keep up with me physically -- as a dancer, that is, the only physical activity that matters -- but I’m simply not interested in weighing down my star with a relationship right now. Or, ever, really.

Charlie is totally bewildered, barely keeping up with her explanation. Finally, it hits him.

Charlie: You think -- you think I like you.

Maya: Can’t fault you that. I hope you understand. I mean, not my problem if you don’t, but I’m wishing you the best either way.

She blows him a couple of kisses, patting his cheek and turning on her heel to walk away. Charlie stares after her, blinking and letting out a strained exhale. So that’s the crush people have been talking about this whole time.

He leans back against his locker, finally getting to relax for the first time all week.

Meanwhile, Farkle is making moves, chasing after Lucas as he attempts to break ground on launching a new scandal. Although Lucas has exactly zero interest in interacting with Farkle, he is refusing to let the issue drop as he’s the perfect catalyst for stirring up something new. That’s the price they pay, being the most unbearable people in the junior A class.

Lucas: And why on God’s green Earth and the forsaken halls of Triple A would I be at all interested in speaking to you anymore than I am legally obligated?

Farkle, confidently: Because I know something that you’ll want to know.

That’s enough to at least get his attention. Lucas pauses, turning to face him and give him a second of his time.

From the expression on his face, we can tell whatever Farkle is going to say isn’t going to be good. What piece of information is he going to choose as the match to set off this firecracker…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Class is reassembling on the stage when the fuse finally blows, Lucas storming through the wings and disrupting the chatter. He’s awfully worked up for someone who doesn’t care about anything because nothing matters.

Lucas: When were you planning on telling me?

For a second, we hang on each of our potential scandal victims. Charlie jumps, spooked by the sudden volume. Asher and Dylan stare at their best friend, looking like deer in headlights. Riley spins from where she’s speaking to Zay, eyes wide.

But focus lands on Isadora, in the midst of chatting with Maya and surprised that Lucas is approaching her like this. It’s obvious she has no clue what he’s so vexed about.

Isadora: Telling you what?

Lucas: About your little Thanksgiving plans? I mean, I figured you’d be spending it with your mom considering she deemed to be in your life for five seconds, but really, Maya too? Isn’t that just the picture of best friendship?

Isadora is stunned. Although she wasn’t intentionally keeping it a secret from him, she wasn’t ever planning on telling him about it either. Maya steps up and tells him to back off lest he get his toxic masculinity all over them. Farkle saunters up onto some of the half-built set pieces and gets comfortable, watching the scene unfold from above with a neutral expression.

Maya speaking may not be the best strategy, because it’s all too easy for Lucas to turn on her. He points out how transparent she is, obviously only using Isadora to get a chance to grovel more at the feet of her favorite spastic diva idol. The insinuation is like a slap to the face, not only to Maya but to Isadora. She knows Maya loves Valerie as an artist, but the simple conclusion so many people seemed to have drawn honestly didn’t occur to her.

Maya glances at her, shaking her head frantically and immediately trying to assure her that it isn’t true. But Lucas is there to easily refute it, and soon enough it’s just a shouting match between Friar and Hart that everyone else is too stunned or entertained by to interrupt.

That is, except for Harper Burgess. She enters with Eric just in time to catch the worst of it, having officially reached her patience threshold for one special lead technician. And if no one, even Jack, is going to do something about his terrible attitude, then she certainly will. She steps into the fray and chastises Maya for feeding into the drama before turning to Lucas, asking if this is really the time or place for such harsh accusations.

Lucas: Well this doesn’t really concern you, so --

Harper: I wasn’t. Done. Speaking.

All of the oxygen is zapped out of the room. No one is breathing. Lucas is caught off-guard by being talked back to enough to go speechless, giving Harper the full power to take to the soapbox and completely take him down. She laments his absolutely abhorrent attitude, criticizes his lack of respect, all in front of the rest of the class who are all reacting in varying states of shock. Farkle has gone pale, blank-faced as he watches his plan crash and burn more horrifically than he could’ve ever anticipated.

Harper: Do you want to know what I think, Mister Friar? I think that you’re scared. I don’t know why, and I don’t know where you got the idea that terrorizing everyone else would fix it. But let the record show that you are not in control here. From here on out, you will show your faculty their due respect. You will attend class, and you will participate, and you will do it without a snide remark or unwelcome comment. You will be, as you should have been this whole time, a student amongst the rest of your peers and if you feel you deserve differently, then I believe you’re well aware of the exits to this auditorium.

It’s a complete decimation. It’s humiliation in the most concentrated form it could be administered -- perhaps not unwarranted, but definitely not the most effective treatment in this case. The techies are dumbstruck, looking at their de facto leader in concern. Isadora is mortified. Eric seems to realize that perhaps Jack was right about how to handle Lucas.

The whole class has their eyes on Lucas, waiting to see what he’ll do next, but he’s frozen. He can’t move. He can’t speak. It’s unlike anything they’ve ever seen from him.

As if she’s been gifted with the worst timing on Earth, Valerie enters right then, cheerful and unaware as she greets them all again. But she can sense the tension quickly enough.

Valerie, innocently: What did I miss?

Then Lucas is gone, marching off the stage and out of the spotlight. It turns into a run when he hits the dressing room hall, disappearing through the doors.

The rest of the class devolves into mild chaos, reacting to what they just witnessed or trying to do damage control. Riley takes off before anyone can notice, running into the wings and through the dressing room hall after Lucas. Maya turns to Isadora, frantically trying to assure her that what Lucas said wasn’t true. She has to know it wasn’t true. Doesn’t she?

Valerie realizes whatever happened can’t have been good, mostly due to the look on Isadora’s face. She tries to approach her and help console her, but Isadora backs away. She backs away from everyone, making a dash for the other exit.

Farkle doesn’t look lofty anymore from his perch above everyone else. He looks disturbed, and Maya catches sight of him so high above. She narrows her eyes, contemplating…

EXT. AAA - DAY

Isadora escapes onto the front steps, gulping down the fresh air and trying to keep her emotions in check. She collapses into sitting on the steps, digging for her phone and frantically dialing a number. They answer quickly enough, providing a much needed outlet.

Isadora: Blue? I -- everything just happened so fast. I don’t know -- [ cracking ] I don’t know what to do. I don’t know --

EXT. AAA - LUNCH COURTYARD - DAY

Riley passes by in the hall outside the courtyard, struck with realization and doubling back to step into the courtyard. Her memory serves her well, allowing her to find Lucas from experience where few other people might think to check.

He’s curled up on the bench closest to the back corner, most effectively out of sight. He’s got his knees pulled up onto the bench and is hiding his head in his hands, looking smaller than Riley has even seen before. She isn’t sure what to do, whether she should approach and try to say something or if being acknowledged would make everything worse.

But she can’t just leave him there. She tentatively approaches the table, staying on the opposite side of it but making her presence known by softly saying his name. He doesn’t look at her, but he regains his composure a bit and clears his throat.

Lucas: What are you doing?

Riley: … I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

That’s a new one. Lucas doesn’t know how to respond, especially in such a deconstructed state. He sort of brushes her off but doesn’t tell her to go either, simply stating that she doesn’t need to waste her time.

Riley obviously doesn’t consider it a waste of time. She comes around the table and sits on the opposite end of the bench, searching for something to say to make the scenario better. If there’s anything she could say at all, in the one moment where she finally has his attention.

Riley: I don’t think you deserved that.

The sentiment hangs in the air. Lucas is still turned away from her, so she doesn’t see the way his expression shifts in a dozen little ways before settling back into blank. There’s a moment where Riley moves her hand, debating whether or not to reach out to him… but ultimately deciding against it.

She quietly rambles instead, stating that she understands why Harper reacted the way she did after all the chaos she’s had to step into, but the way she went about it wasn’t warranted. And she doesn’t… she doesn’t know him. She doesn’t know him enough to say the things she did. Regardless, like everyone else in the A class, she figures Harper could’ve given him another chance before going full takedown.

Lucas: Yeah, well, some people don’t deserve second chances.

It’s unclear who the statement is directed towards. Harper? Valerie? Himself? Given how his expression twitches again and he climbs to his feet a second later to get away again, it sort of feels like the last one. Riley doesn’t try to stop him, glancing over her shoulder as he disappears back through the doors.

She sits in the chilly November air, absorbing the quiet and solitude for a long moment. A moment of still in a semester that has felt like a constant hurricane.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Valerie is finally having her sit down with Maya. In spite of the awkwardness that just unfolded, Maya insists that she’s incredibly grateful and excited for this opportunity. She also makes it clear that she isn’t friends with Isadora just to get to Valerie -- considering she was barely in her life when they became friends in the first place, that wouldn’t make much sense.

Well, what a nice little pointed reminder. Valerie gently waves her off and assures her that she believes her, and she’s grateful for her friendship with Isadora. And while she only has good things to say about the logistics of her performance (Lord knows she has talent), she ends up knocking her down a peg in the sense that… Maya’s performance wasn’t authentic. She didn’t get any sense of who Maya actually was.

Maya: … what?

Valerie: Darling, your performance was entirely about me. Which, certainly, consider me flattered! But that wasn’t the assignment, and that’s not what a true artist needs to do. It makes me wonder, you know… what pieces of your own story are you hiding from amidst all the glamour?

Maya is at a loss for words. It’s hard to get criticism -- it’s even harder to get it from someone you so deeply idolize. It’s humbling in a way Maya has never had to endure before. Valerie warns her against becoming so deeply invested in a stardom persona that she loses sight of who Maya actually is, those pieces of her that make her a unique star in the first place. And if there are pieces in her constellation that feel unresolved… it’s up to her to close those chapters in whatever way she sees fit.

More well-intentioned advice. Whether it’ll pay off as intended, well…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Eric wanders into the auditorium, on the hunt for Isadora. He finds her where he least expects to, but maybe where he should’ve known to look -- amidst the set pieces, building something constructive to distract herself. Defaulting back to the world that feels safe when everything else is imploding around her.

He settles onto an acting block next to her, not disrupting her process but also checking in to see how she’s feeling. He doesn’t expect her to talk about it, but his door is metaphorically open for her to say whatever she wants or needs to say. He states that it’s okay for her not to be okay after all the tension of this week, in its varied forms.

Isadora pauses in her work, pushing her safety goggles onto her head. After a moment of thought, she gives her answer.

Isadora: No, I’m not fine. But I’m not gonna die either. [ slipping her goggles back on ] Same old, same old.

Eric: Well, hard to argue with that. [ a beat ] Things will work themselves out, you know. People make mistakes, but eventually, things will return to homeostasis.

Isadora, genuinely: I know.

Eric: Good. And until then…

Isadora: Show must go on?

Eric lets out half a laugh, shrugging in acquiescence. Maybe so. He gives Isadora a light shoulder pat, starting to leave her alone when she suddenly touches his hand to keep him from going. She pauses, finding what she wants to say.

Isadora: Thanks… for being there.

After the week he’s had, this hits Eric harder than he expects. He manages a smile and a nod, allowing her to get back to her coping mechanism.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Jack is holding a meeting, speaking very calmly and professionally about the terms of enrollment when it comes to AAA. He’s explaining what it takes to maintain one’s enrollment, so it seems at first that he might be reprimanding Lucas after what Harper said to him, but it’s not our favorite snapback in the chair opposite his desk.

No, seated in the usual chair is MISSY BRADFORD (16). She’s gorgeous, well-groomed, a walking testament to old money in her designer outfit. She keeps a pleasant, patient smile on her face as Jack finishes his lecture, ultimately concluding that those reasons are the cause for them continually dismissing her parents’ requests to enroll her.

When she simply states that if money is the issue, he should simply name the price, Jack scoffs and states that it’s not about the money. He’s trying his best to be patient, but the Bradfords are clearly pushing him to his wits end. Missy asks why their strict enrollment procedures should be so adhered to anyway, considering other students have joined the ranks of AAA under special circumstances. She mentions Riley Matthews specifically, having clearly done her research.

Jack explains that was a special case, and she filled their remaining open slot. It’s a delicate numbers game, a game of personality balancing, of course the talent of the applicant is of significance…

Missy: Special case… hm. Fascinating, what constitutes a “special case.” Isn’t it?

Missy’s tone is innocent, but there’s the slightest of edges to her delivery that speaks volumes. Jack remains strong on his stance, apologizing again but explaining that there’s simply no room for her in the junior class at this time. Missy pauses, nods, and then rises to her feet.

As she’s almost out the door, she turns back to give him a sweet smile.

Missy: Thank you for taking the time to meet with me, Principal Hunter. I think we’re going to get along swimmingly.

Whatever that is, it doesn’t sound like a goodbye. Missy steps out, Jack slouching back in his seat the moment she’s out of sight. He rubs his face, starting to feel some of that familiar AAA exhaustion…

INT. AAA - BOYS DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Maya goes to find Farkle, ending up where they seem to have all of their confrontations. He’s gathering his things together for the break. When he realizes she’s there, he attempts to fill the silence by casually commenting how insane the afternoon went. Seems there’s never a dull moment in the junior A class…

Maya, simply: I know it was you. That you told Lucas about Thanksgiving.

Farkle freezes, doing a poor job of remaining impassive. Maya approaches him, surprisingly not explosive in her accusation but rather calm about the whole thing. She explains that she knows it was him given how he overheard them at Chubbie’s, although she’s not going to pretend to understand why he did it. She has no idea what makes him tick, and she isn’t sure she wants to know anymore. She doesn’t know who he is at this point.

While the maneuver succeeded in getting her attention, what she came to tell him is far from what Farkle wants to hear. She looks him in the eye, calm as ever, and makes a definitive declaration.

Maya: This chapter is closed, Farkle. You and me, we’re not friends. We’re not ever going to be what we were before. And presently, I would like nothing to do with you.

The plainness of the statement is what makes such a deep cut. Maya leaves without another word, considering the matter of her broken constellation settled.

Farkle’s expression is blank, only crumpling into something closer to hurt as the reality starts to sink in and his eyes gloss over.

INT. AAA - PRACTICE ROOM - DAY

Charlie is just finishing up in one of the practice rooms, Riley poking her head in to find him there. He spots her and assures her that he was wrapping up, so she should be all set to take over if that’s what she needs. She steps inside and admits she was actually looking for him, and Zay said that this is where she’d find him at the moment. When she asks if he has a second to chat, he seems more than happy to give her the time of day.

She approaches the piano, keeping it as a safe barrier between them yet still coming to the table for negotiations. It’s more than she’s given him so far.

Riley: I’ve been talking a lot of talk about our class coming back together in spite of everything… but I haven’t really been walking the walk. It’s much easier to preach forgiveness than to give it out in your own... complex situations.

[ Charlie waits patiently, listening intently and holding his breath. ]

Riley: I still don’t know… why you did what you did. And I guess I never will. [ off Charlie’s guilty expression ] And I’m still not exactly happy with you, but… I don’t wanna be upset anymore. I’m tired of so much negative emotion, and I guess I should start with my own.

Charlie isn’t sure what to say. Riley states that things aren’t going to be the way they were -- although what exactly they were, she doesn’t even know -- but she’s ready to wipe the slate clean. She’s ready to start over, and let things simply be.

This is a huge relief for Charlie. He’s already smiling, but when Riley holds out her hand for a “truce” sort of hand shake he can’t help but smile wider. The two of them shake hands, a timid new start for whatever their dynamic is actually meant to be.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The class has gathered together for the end of the week, once again in an uncertain state. Jack and Eric are also present, although they stand at opposite ends of the stage. Lucas is pointedly absent, Harper making the observation but not looking thrilled about it.

Things feel fragile, but still Valerie’s bombastic personality adds some lightness to the situation. She applauds them all for being brave enough to confront their authentic selves this week, in spite of how difficult that can be. She would know, as they all saw her try to run from them.

The class chuckles a bit, before Valerie definitively states that emotionally authenticity is challenging, but the rewards of it -- the depth of your relationships, the ability to connect with others, the improved understanding of yourself -- far outweigh its fearsome nature. Hopefully, in her brief time with them, they at least got a taste of that.

When it seems the week has come to an end, Dave of all people claims that that can’t just be it. The class questions what the hell he’s talking about, and Dave states that they haven’t done their big group number yet. They haven’t used music to magically fix everything or make things feel light again.

Although this is sort of a silly way of putting it, Dave might actually have a point. They’ve been so wrapped up in the authenticity, they sort of lost sight of the other way music connects them -- the moments where it’s fun.

Riley picks up the slack, claiming she can kick them off. Emotional authenticity, energized fun… who says you can’t have both?

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “You Can’t Stop the Beat” as performed by Hairspray Original Movie Cast || Performed by AAA Juniors (feat. Valerie De La Cruz)

What a change of pace from the heaviness of the episode, but somehow exactly what everybody needs. It sort of feels like the presence of Valerie herself -- upbeat, a tribute of the artistic spirit, but also covering for something deeper underneath.

More than that, the number serves to give us a swift reminder of everything that unfolded this episode. As Riley launches us into the number, she pulls Charlie in to be her Link Larkin -- a duo that we haven’t witnessed in action in months. Maya and Zay take the start of the next verse, pulling Isadora into it with them for the chorus.

Eric kicks up the energy by stepping in to sing as well -- something he hasn’t done in ages. It feels timely and clearly delights the class, inspiring other uncommon performers to jump in with him -- Asher, Dylan, and Jeff hopping in alongside Yindra, Nigel, and Clarissa. Eric’s “So if you don’t like the way I am, well I just don’t give a damn!” is uncomfortably pointed towards Jack, who averts his gaze and crosses his arms.

Valerie naturally takes the Motormouth solo after the silly dance break, bringing the whole class back together behind her as a united front. The most impressive thing about the performance is how the whole class seems to be having fun in the moment -- even Farkle, who is putting all his energy into the singing and dancing.

As we launch into the last verse, we flash forward to glimpse Thanksgiving coming to fruition…

INT. GARDNER HOME - DINING ROOM - DAY

The Gardner family is assembled, extended family present as they engage in Thanksgiving traditions while ELEANOR GARDNER and her sister set up for dinner. One of these seems to be filling out “I’m thankful for” paper slips and hanging them on the wall, DAISY GARDNER and ROSIE GARDNER helping their little cousins stick them to the wall.

Charlie has already put a couple up, but he’s hesitating on this last one. Then it seems to strike him exactly what he wants to say, settling into writing.

INT. BABINEAUX HOME - KITCHEN - DAY

The Babineauxs are enjoying a comfortable and cozy Thanksgiving dinner. Zay receives a text, checking it under the table while his family laughs and debates something over their meal.

It’s from Charlie, the phrase nothing more than a happy Thanksgiving. But the picture he’s attached says far, far more. It’s the paper slip, obviously not one he plans to hang up on the wall but the most authentic one he wrote.

“I’m thankful for… Dizzy.”

Zay smiles.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - DAY

Thanksgiving dinner with the fractured Matthews clan is going about as well as it could, TOPANGA LAWRENCE and CORY MATTHEWS being quite cordial and AUGGIE MATTHEWS being cute as always. Riley smiles at something he says and then glances across the table, locking eyes with Eric and giving him a grateful look.

Eric returns the smile, obviously happy to be there. Somewhere where he’s truly appreciated, regardless of how hard or easy it is.

INT. JACK’S APARTMENT - DAY

The Hunters gathering is going well, ANGELA MOORE laughing hard in conversation with Anne Marie and Shawn helping Jack finish setting the table.

Jack almost puts another place setting than they need, but then remembers. He swallows his emotions, pulling it back and moving on from the moment.

INT. MINKUS HOME - FARKLE’S BEDROOM - DAY

As promised, Farkle’s family isn’t celebrating. He’s alone eating takeout in his room, reading The Great Gatsby as he consumes his lonely meal for the holiday.

INT. GARCIA HOME - DINING ROOM - DAY

In sharp contrast, the Garcia-Orlando Thanksgiving gathering is far more lively. They all cheer as LILY GARCIA and GRANT ORLANDO break the wishbone, the former successfully getting the larger half and dangling it in front of his face.

While the mood is upbeat, something isn’t quite right. Asher makes this clear when he looks over his shoulder towards the table and it becomes clear that Lucas is nowhere in sight in spite of the place set up for him. Asher’s smile dims somewhat, obviously concerned.

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

Lucas is wandering the streets of Manhattan on his own, hands stuffed in his pockets and mood unstable. He gets distracted when he passes by a store window, spotting a pair of pretty nice and comfortable looking black boots. Considering how beat up his current ones are, suffice to say they catch his attention.

He glances over his shoulder, clearly contemplating. Then we see him step inside the store, disappearing from frame…

INT. MAYA’S APARTMENT - DAY

Even with all the uncertainty, it seems Isadora chose to believe Maya when she stated she wasn’t using her. Because the Harts and De La Cruz women are together for the holiday as promised, clearly enjoying a quaint but warm dinner that Valerie pulled together (aside from the peach cobbler, of course).

Valerie makes a speech, raising her glass and evidently saying something very sincere and sweet about Isadora. There’s real potential in their dynamic now, and its shining on this holiday afternoon. After they knock their glasses together, Maya shifts gears and gets them all to take a selfie. A cute photograph of some badass women, that’s for certain.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The class brings the number home, the faculty stepping back and Valerie spinning to stand with them again. She gives a proud little shrug, even Jack having to nod a compliment to how she brought the class together even if only for a moment. We end the episode on an energized high note, officially launching us into the next third of the season.

And boy, where could things go from here…

END OF EPISODE.

#s2 #episodes #204 #literally... golly gee #this episode is kind of like a 90 minute special its so packed fjdsklgds #thanks valerie!

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the-marvel-imagines-blog · 5 years

Text

Madness | Chpt. 27

Chapter Title: “The Awakening”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character (Eva)

Word Count: 11,111

Warnings: All the angst, arguments, a little surprise

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

Summary: Thor and Eva have conflicting views on how to handle the situation with Aurora, but Eva’s need to protect her daughter gets in the way of her happiness.

A/N: I’m sorry for the short hiatus I went on. I was in Boston for a bit for the Jonas Brothers concert on the 17th, and then life kind of spiraled out of control for me. I went through a fairly short depressive episode, which made it unbelievably difficult to write anything of acceptable quality. Once again, I’m sorry for suddenly disappearing, and I’m hoping to get back to posting once a week. Thank you all so, so, so much for reading <3

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny @xletmetaste-yoursmilex @itsknife2meetu @mynameisyara @j-j-ehlby-writes @jillilama-blog (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

He stood behind me in all his godly glory. I didn’t want to look at him. My arms were crossed over my chest as if I was an adolescent in a petty argument with her guardian, but this didn’t feel petty; I was hurt and felt betrayed. Thor knew how important it was that I stay away from Aurora. I made a promise to not even return to Earth unless the situation was dire or her life was in danger. Otherwise, I made an oath not to return for fear that I would see her. It was like a knife straight though my heart the moment our eyes met the previous week when I woke up. I was kept in the room and in the bed by Thor as Tony and Bruce continued to monitor me, making sure that I was in peak condition before they allowed me to leave. For over a week, I was forced to live in the same building as her, and every morning, I’d wake up with a dread unlike any other, terrified that she would come into the room, that she would look at me for a moment too long, and she would figure out the secret I kept from the universe.

Her.

While I was grateful for the gift Thor had given me-another chance at life-I was furious that this was the place he decided to bring me. Instead of forcibly taking me back to Asgard where Frigga would look after me, I was brought to the last place on Earth I wanted to be. I would’ve rather walked straight onto a battlefield alone with no armor and no weapons. It was a better fate than being forced to look upon the face that brought me so much joy and so much sorrow. Seeing her was like looking at the sun, but it only reminded me of how dark it truly was without her. She was the sip of fresh water in the desert that made you forget about the dry, unforgiving air. She was the cool breeze on a sweltering day that made you forget about the moisture on your upper lip whilst working in the garden. I resented the fact that she was a passing dream that would eventually give way to the nightmare. A life without her was darkness, and I wanted my eyes to adjust. However, each time I looked at her, my pupils would constrict to adjust to the light, and I’d forget about the darkness until I was thrown back into it, scrambling to see once more. Seeing her was like a breath of fresh air into lungs that were slowly filling with blood.

I wanted to see her, to hold her, to speak words of unconditional love to her, to tell her stories of her family, to fall asleep with her body curled up next to me, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t want those things. It was dangerous for her to be a part of me, and as the butterflies twisted in my stomach and that familiar stir occured, I frowned. I was a monster, an abomination, a freak of nature. If what I had been told was true, if I truly was the person Death and Ezra claimed I was, I was walking on a fault line, and I would either work to bring about peace, or I would bring about death and destruction. She could be no part of that. She was pure and innocent and far too good for me. I had her love for a time, and in my moments of darkness, I thought of the way her hair smelled after she ran through the forest, and my heart would lighten. I thought of the way she would throw her arms around my waist, crashing into me as every ounce of love poured from her very soul into my own. I thought of how she would kiss my cheek almost every night before she fell asleep.

Thor huffed, our argument clearly only beginning. He was clearly upset that I was so adamant against being here, and I was irritated that he made the call for me to be brought here. My mere presence was liable to damage Aurora’s psyche and cause her to be even more unhappy. At least when I was absent, she lived in a type of blissful ignorance, much like Tony did when he was younger. He didn’t remember me, but when I returned-before I gave him his memories of me back-he would begin to piece together the familiarity we had with one another. I worried that if Aurora found out, if she was able to see through the veil I placed over her memories of me, I wouldn’t be able to walk away again, and that would be dangerous for her, “this was the only way to keep you alive,” he insisted, his voice conveying just how spent he was by my insistence that we never should have come here in the first place.

I glared back at him, “she’s here!” I hissed, unable to bring myself to say her name. It was a dull ache in my heart, a place I so desperately tried to tend to all this time we’ve been apart, but just when I thought I’d be able to breathe without her in my life, I was thrust back into a life with her, which reminded me that breathing without her would never be possible. I was caught between accepting love and putting that love at risk or refusing that love and living in the void of unhappiness for the rest of my existence. I wanted to be happy, and I wanted her to be happy, but I couldn’t have both. I was destined to lose no matter what.

“You’re her mother! You needed to live! I made the right call!” he growled, raising his voice without fear of anyone hearing us. He was growing angrier and angrier by the second, but he underestimated me. I was ready to fight. I was outraged that I was brought to the one place on Earth that I didn’t want to be. I was weak when I was near her, and he brought me straight to her. He made a decision that could cost me more than just my life, it could put her life in jeopardy as well, “if I had been in a similar situation, would you have let me die?” he asked, trying to prove his point.

I shook my head, grimacing as I turned around to catch his burning blue eyes, “that’s not-”

He cut me off, his voice even louder than before, “don’t even tell me it’s any different!” he boomed, catching me off guard. I winced at his words, surprised that he was taking such a dominant tone with me. He never did that before. Thor and I didn’t argue with each other often, and even when we did, it never got this heated; however, when Aurora was involved, he voiced his opinions and didn’t change them. He was intense when he spoke of her, and that was only amplified after I made my decision to give her to Tony. He fought me every step of the way, telling me that he would secure the dungeons even more than they already were, telling me that Loki would have no way of escaping, but he didn’t understand my goal. My goal was never to leave Aurora on Earth forever. I wanted to send her away until I managed to help bring back the Loki I knew and loved, the man who could be a spectacular father. Then, she would be brought back home, and we would be happy together. Instead, my plan-my life-fell apart the longer she was away from me, and Thor spoke of her less and less. When he did utter words about her, they were always ones of love and dedication, though.

“You know how I feel about you, Eva,” he murmured, his voice suddenly becoming sweet and tender as he closed the space between us with a few long strides. His right hand passed over the emptiness between us, and he stroked my cheek with the tips of his fingers. I wanted so desperately to lean into his touch, to lean into any touch. With Aurora so close, I yearned for Loki’s gentle arms to cradle me against him as I told him all the words I failed to convey before. Instead, I remained still, turning my focus to the blade of grass that was still tied to my finger. It was a reminder that things were moving in the direction I always dreamed they would, but it was yet another reminder that I was perhaps the worst thing for him. Thor’s voice disturbed my silent conflict, “you’ve always known how deep my love runs for you-how I still love you after everything. In another life, you would’ve been my princess, my betrothed, my love, but I’ve loved you on my own for a thousand years. I’ve listened to your laughter like it was a song sent by the old Gods, and I have appreciated you as if you were a goddess even before I knew the truth.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, fear overcoming me. He couldn’t know the truth. How could he know the truth? Odin. Why would he tell Thor, though? Of all the people to entrust with information like that, he trusted the man who could never hide anything from me? Did the Allfather want me to know? Did he want this to be information that broke me? Did he want me to give into the darkness that he feared within me? I didn’t know how to respond to Thor’s words, but he didn’t even look fazed by his own words, “my father finally told me of you, and by the way you speak, it’s clear that you know, too...the daughter of Death,” he continued, his voice trailing off, rendering me speechless. I didn’t know how to respond. I had two options: lie to him or stay silent, hence confirming his words. I chose the latter. He nodded his head, “I worshipped the ground you walked upon before I even knew what you were, and you expected me to sit there and accept that you were dead? I’ve lost you before, and I wasn’t about to lose you again,” he choked out, tears forming in his eyes as he recalled the day Aurora was brought into the world, the day I willingly gave my life for hers.

With no desire to speak of my lineage, especially not so openly when no one else was aware, I skirted over his revelation that he was no longer blind to who I was...what I was. Instead, I listened to the way his heart broke just a little more each second our eyes remained connected. Within him, there was a desire to stay on Midgard. I shook my head, sensing the conflict within him, too. He knew that Earth wasn’t the place we belonged. We were meant to help the Asgardians, not live amongst them, for our presence would only bring about more conflict for them. We couldn’t risk our wars straying away from Asgard and relocating to Midgard, “we can’t stay. You know that, right?” I asked, knowing that he was becoming more and more tied to the idea of staying. When it was just Loki and I, before the world knew of our existence, we could’ve made a life on Midgard and flown under the radar. Even after New York, we could find our own little corner of the world to hide. Thor, however, was the prince of Asgard, the heir to the throne. He was well known amongst the Midgardians, too. He couldn’t stay without risking the lives of the humans he wished to protect.

He frowned, stepping away from me, disconnecting his hand from my cheek. His arms crossed over his chest, and I could still feel the heavy conflict. He was looking for any and every reason to stay, and I could tell-even though he wouldn’t tell me his true reasoning-that it was mainly because of Aurora. She played a role in him wanting to remain on Midgard, and I knew that because it was the same desire I struggled with, “it would do you good to continue resting. You know that the moment you return to Asgard, you’ll pick right back up where you left off,” he noted, the argument being a good one. It was true that I wouldn’t take the time to rest when I returned to Midgard, but there were also many reasons for that. I had too much to accomplish, and I also had Harley and Kaia to care for in the meantime. There was a deadline on how soon the situation with Cul needed to be resolved. He shook his head, “I can’t risk that, not so soon after I got you back.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, turning back around to stare out the window, “it’s my decision. We don’t belong here,” I hissed, burying my emotions as my own reflection stared back at me, her green eyes filled with unforgiving judgement.

“Neither does she!” he boomed, his voice becoming even deeper. I loathed the fact that he was questioning my decision when it was the only right one for me to make. I hurt myself enough over the fact that I separated myself from my daughter, I didn’t need him to do the same. He continued as I stared at his reflection in the mirror, “she belongs with you. She belongs with her family. She’s lost everything. She’s lost herself. I would expect this from anyone else, but you know what it’s like to be abandoned,” he hissed, almost as if he was trying to dig a knife into my back.

As soon as he said those words, I saw the reflection of my eyes in the glass that overlooked the darkening city. The green was tainted by the color of a bleeding rose. A deep, velvety red took over the irises of my eyes, pushing aside all the green until it was the only color left. With every second of silence that passed, I felt my blood begin to boil, and the color in my eyes became more and more rich until it was almost glowing. I whipped around to face him, not even trying to fight back the anger that his words brought on. Instead, I fell into it, basking in the heat that rose up in my chest. His eyes widened as I narrowed mine at him in fury, “I never abandoned my daughter. Rethink your words, and speak again!” I demanded-a hefty command given to the prince by a commoner. But...I wasn’t a commoner. I had a claim to a throne I didn’t want, but the power I felt with that knowledge made it even harder to bite my tongue, so I didn’t.

“You left her!” he argued back, his blue irises sparking to life like the lightning that followed him wherever he went. Lightning lived in those veins, and when he was angry, there was a hint of it in his eyes.

“I did what was best for her!” I yelled, not caring who heard me. Even if Aurora heard me, she wouldn’t know I was talking about her. At that point, I didn’t care about the dangers of speaking too loudly or giving way to the rage within me. It was festering, and Thor was pulling it out of me little by little. I closed the space between us, grabbing the collar of his white t-shirt and pulling us closer together. I watched as my veins glowed with the same red that lingered in my irises, but I paid no mind to it. The anger was tearing away my cautious nature, giving way to someone far more feral and fearless. My voice lowered, “do you have any idea how hard that was for me?” I hissed, before witnessing the fear in Thor’s eyes. I had never seen it so prominent before, and he was never afraid of me. I let go of his shirt, the red disappearing from my hands. All it took was that small look of terror, and I realized that I was turning into the monster I couldn’t bear to live with. She was meant to come around when faced Thanos someday, or when I faced Cul. She was destruction incarnate, but that wasn’t who I chose to be. I refused to be the monster Odin believed I would become.

When Thor took a deep breath, I surmised that the green hue in my irises must’ve returned, fighting back the red. It was life and mercy fighting away death and destruction. It pained me to even look at him after what transpired, but our eyes connected as the hot tears filled mine. My voice was low and soft as to maintain control over my emotions and to not lose that control again, “do you have any idea how many nights I sat at the end of that bridge, asking Heimdall to tell me about her? It tore me apart each time, and all I wanted was to bring her home, so I stopped asking about the details. Instead, I just inquired about her health and safety. Do you know how many times I curled up in bed with my pillows and tried to pretend it was her? Do you know why I’ve fought so hard on behalf of your brother? Did you ever even stop to ask me why I did it in the first place?” I asked, trying to urge him to think about how ignorant he was to the situation. He didn’t know all he thought he did.

He shook his head, “no, but I know it’s because you were afraid that Loki would escape and hurt you,” he answered, which was only part of the reasoning.

“Do you know what would’ve hurt me more than anything else?” I asked before falling into a tense silence as he looked for an answer. Sensing that he wouldn’t come up with the right one, I answered my own question for him, “losing my child. I couldn’t be certain that he wasn’t crazed enough to do that if he escaped. I couldn’t risk her life on the chance that he wouldn’t hurt her.”

“I would’ve protected you,” he insisted.

“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, especially not him!” I snapped, feeling that familiar heat rising up again. It was as if he was trying to misunderstand me. The anger and frustration quickly bled into sorrow, and tears began stinging my eyes, “I didn’t want to give anyone a reason to hurt Loki, and I couldn’t risk her life, either. I thought that if I sent her away, I could focus all my time on reaching out to Loki and helping him return to the man he used to be. Then, once he fled the darkness and returned to the light, I could bring her home. However, there was your father, too. With Loki’s newest crimes, her life would have been in even more danger if he discovered her existence, and I would’ve been forced to commit treason because if he tried to take her from me, there would’ve been a slaughter. It was the only choice I had,” I explained, my voice cracking as my emotions threatened to betray me like they had so often in the past weeks that we had been on Midgard. My emotions were heightened again, “she doesn’t belong anywhere near me, and with Ezra’s presence in Asgard, I don’t want her anywhere near me. I want her to be safe.”

“We could keep her safe,” he yelled in exasperation.

I shook my head, knowing that nothing would sway me into bringing her back to Asgard under the current circumstances, “that’s not good enough for me, though,” I murmured as the door to the room cracked open. Thor took no notice of it, but I watched as Tony entered the room, eyes filled with concern. It was obvious that he heard our argument and was coming to check on us. Thor and I didn’t fight like this...ever, so it was clear in the worry written all over Tony’s face that he was concerned for each of us. In that moment, he looked like a child watching his parents argue, but he had seen far worse.

Thor’s anger boiled up even more, “well, it’s better than casting her away and leaving her here. You’re her mother, and-”

I cut him off in frustration, “and you’re not her father!” I bellowed, the building trembling under the pressure of my voice.

He took a moment to steady himself, clearing the pain from his eyes, and I saw the words flit across the blue surface of the ocean before he even said them. Thor thought about them before he spoke them, which made their impact that much more painful. He narrowed those anger-filled, crystal blue eyes at me, “well, even if I was, it wouldn’t worry me anyway because I wouldn’t know of her,” he remarked, causing Tony to flinch on the other side of the room.

I remained composed, staring him down as the realization of his own words hit him. It was the lowest blow he could deal, and he dealt it. Part of me wished for more of his hurtful words, for I deserved them more than anyone else. Part of me wanted him to hurt me the way I know my lack of romantic affection hurt him. No one else deserved pain and suffering the way I did...not even Thanos himself. I failed the love of my life. If I fought harder, Loki wouldn’t have fallen from the Bifrost in the first place. If I fought harder, he would’ve seen the birth of our daughter, and we could’ve lived a happy life together. instead, everything spiraled out of control, and-like dominoes-each painful, sorrow-filled event followed the last. They were all connected to that one instance when I let Loki walk away from me in the garden before telling him that I was with child. Every moment of pain and suffering my love and our daughter experiences...it was all on me, so I silently wished for that pain to be thrust upon me. I yearned for mercy, but I knew what I deserved.

As Thor’s eyes filled with regret, I turned around to face the window once more, “leave,” I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest as if I could physically fight back the tears that were so close to rising up and spilling down my cheeks.

“Eva, I’m so-”

I cut him off, “I don’t want to talk to you right now, and I’m done listening,” I growled, glaring at his reflection, “and if you ever insinuate that I don’t love my daughter again, you’ll be hard-pressed to make it through your next breath before you feel my wrath,” I threatened him, knowing that I couldn’t truly live up to that threat. I still loved Thor, but sometimes, that was where the most excruciating, intimate pain came from-from the ones we loved most. They were the ones we let close enough, the ones we trusted with daggers deep enough to tear through our hearts, but we trusted that they wouldn’t use them against us. Thor just did, “you’ll never understand what it’s like to willingly give up something you love so deeply for their own benefit.”

“I do...” he sighed, his voice thick with tears, “...because I did that with you.”

Then, there was an empty silence that filled the room. Thor’s footsteps over to the door cut through the deafening nothingness, sounding louder than usual. I continued to stare out the window, though, the clouds merging together to cover the sky in a thick blanket of darkness. The moment I heard the door close behind one of my closest friends, I allowed the tears to cascade down my cheeks. I never meant to hurt him, but my inability to choose him over Loki caused him more pain than anything else. The countless sacrifices he made for me never went unnoticed. My hand flew up to cover my mouth as I physically held in a sob. This wasn’t how it was meant to be. It felt like I was losing him, and it was my fault.

As soon as I began crying, I felt Tony’s presence behind me. My eyes locked with those in his reflection on the glass. I spun around, throwing my arms around his neck. I didn’t wish to speak ill of Thor, but I knew that even if I did, Tony would listen in silence until I cried myself to sleep. I didn’t wish to weep the way I was, but I knew that Tony would hold me through it. His arms wrapped around my waist, and he held me against his chest. I breathed him in, burying my face in his neck as I let my emotions run wild. I knew that Thor was cold because he loved Aurora so deeply. She was the last piece of his brother he had left, and he dumped every ounce of love he had into her. She was a shining star on his darkest night, and I knew that his intentions were good. I knew that all he wanted was to see a happy ending for the people he loved.

Before he could speak a single word, the fluttering in my abdomen returned, but that time around, it was a thousand times stronger than the last. My body jolted, and I tore myself away from Tony’s arms, feeling the sickness rise up within me. It was beginning. It was the awakening. I scrambled into the washroom, taking the time to hurriedly shut the door behind me. My knees connected with the solid marble floor right before I emptied the contents of my stomach into the bowl. I groaned, remembering how much I didn’t miss this part of it. Humans and Asgardians were similar in many aspects, but I always wished that this wasn’t one of them. Still, it was a reminder of what I was fighting for. It was an awakening, and it would be our new beginning.

Between the muffled heaves of my body trying to empty itself of all that I had eaten in the past few hours since I last got sick, I heard the door open, but I didn’t dare pull my head from the toilet bowl for fear that my stomach would betray me yet again. Instead, I left my head buried in the bowl, knowing exactly who entered the bathroom after me. Though I didn’t desire Tony’s company when I was in such a state, the supportive, loving energy that radiated from him made me feel much less alone in what was happening. After another wave of sickness, I pulled my head from the bowl to gasp for air, and Tony was ready with a towel. In an attempt to be close to me-even when the best place to be would’ve been as far away as possible-I watched as he lowered himself onto the floor beside me. I took the grey towel from him with a groan, “I’m sorry,” I apologized, reaching up to flush away the proof of my sickness.

He smirked, clearly slightly amused by the situation. It was in typical Tony fashion to make light of a serious situation. Even as a young boy, he would do the same thing. He once jumped off a swing as a child, and got a nasty cut on his upper arm. Instead of crying, he joked that he’d be able to tell people that he’d gone off to war, and this was one of many battle scars. He specifically asked for me to leave him with it when I insisted I heal him. By that point, though, he knew that it wasn’t so much a healing process as it was a transferral process, and I was aware of why he wanted to keep it. Instead of telling me that he didn’t want me to hurt myself by helping him, he covered up his pain with a joke and moved on. Our eyes connected, and his smile forced one of my own, “you know, it’s actually kind of refreshing to know that even gods and goddesses do this kind of thing, and it’s not just me after a night of bad decisions.”

“Well, I’m not a goddess, and we’re not as different from humans as you think,” I remarked, my stomach continuing to churn. From the look in his eyes, I knew that he was piecing it together, “you don’t have to sit here.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” he nodded, “but you did,” he added, his eyes becoming wet with tears. We tried to move on quickly from what happened with Killian and the Extremis serum. He had been working diligently to find a cure for the serum, so there wasn’t much time to share many words about what transpired or what happened to the two of us. I didn’t want to force the conversation for fear that it would stir up some unpleasant emotions, so all he did after I woke up was sit with me in silence for the entire day. He held my hand and gazed at me like I was the only living thing in the universe. In that moment on the floor of the washroom, though, I saw some of those emotions rising up to greet him, “you were there for me during every dirty, disgusting, painful, and horrifying moment, and you were there for every grand, beautiful, exciting, and joyful one, too. You did it all because you loved me, and the fact that you...died for me tells me that the love never left even for a moment. I love you, too, Eva, and that’s why I’m gonna sit here.”

Tears filled my eyes as he spoke. For a fleeting moment, I wondered if my younger self would’ve believed me if I told her what her future had in store for her. If I had the ability to go back and tell her all that she would experience, all the love she would receive, would she believe me? Would she trust that all the pain would be worth it? Would she still make those painstaking decisions to get to where I was in that very moment? Would she have made different choices that lead her down a less painful path? All I knew was that in that very moment on the floor, I was lucky. The people that I loved were safe for the time being, and I was in the presence of one of the most extraordinary people I’d ever met. As fate would have it, though, another wave of sickness kept me from speaking similar words of love into Tony’s soul as he did mine. I buried my head in the bowl once more and heaved, groaning once the wave passed over me. Pulling my head from the toilet bowl once more, I flushed the contents and moved my hair from my face. Luckily, it remained untouched. As I tried to collect myself, the question Tony asked made me freeze, “how long have you known?”

He knew.

The gentle thrumming of my heart stopped on a dime, and my breath caught in my throat. My eyes locked with his, and I searched them, seeing that there was no ounce of lightheartedness in him. He wasn’t joking with me or even offering up the question as a way to lighten the mood. He was asking me the question in all seriousness. It shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did, what with Tony and I being as close as we were. We had a spiritual connection to one another, and his ability to read me like an open book was nothing new. Because I wasn’t ready to start speaking of it aloud just yet, my mouth fell open as I searched for any other explanation aside from the truth itself. While Life spoke to me, insisting that I was ready, I was afraid of the end of this road. I had just taken in Harley and Kaia, and Loki had finally asked me to be his. So much was happening, and the end of the road was tainted by what happened with Aurora. Ezra and Cul still posed a massive threat to my home and myself. In turn, they posed a massive threat to my love and my children, both alive and unborn.

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” he asked, nonchalantly. He knew the truth as well as I did, but he was just recently able to piece it together. I had been piecing it together since Life spoke to me, whispering words of loving encouragement right to my soul. The very essence of the universe was on my side, but I was still uncertain. Before I could open my mouth to speak again, a smirk played on Tony’s lips as his eyes scanned my body. There hadn’t been any physical changes yet, but they would start happening soon just like they did before. This time, I was more sensitive to the change within me, though, so I was aware of what was happening as it was happening. Looking for the right words to say in order to deter Tony from the truth that he already knew, he cocked his head to the side, snickering, “don’t try to lie to me, sweetheart, that’s my forte, not yours. Besides, I can see right through you. Just talk to me.”

I nodded my head in response to his first question. It was true. He knew of the awakening that I was ill prepared for, “I felt the change the morning I returned from Asgard. That night, Loki and I-”

He cut me off, holding up a hand as if it could somehow stop my words, “whoa, I already know where babies come from, so you don’t have to overshare,” he teased me, a playful grin forming on his lips. It caused the laughter that bubbled up in my chest and spilled from my lips. I leaned forward and gave him a gentle, playful push as his eyes filled with that sparkle that I missed each time it died away. When he was a child, that little twinkle in his eyes was there almost constantly, but the more of life he witnessed, the more cruelty he saw, the more that spark died away. When he spoke of Aurora, when he looked at me, when I told him about Loki, those little moments brought about that twinkle once more, and it was as if my life fell back into place. He cleared his throat, his eyes still bursting with life at the excitement of another little life that he could shower with love and affection. In the short period of time that he had Aurora, he treated her like the little queen of his existence, and I wondered how beautiful of a father he would be. His voice interrupted my inner thoughts, “besides, to feel that you’re pregnant the morning after...that’s impossible.”

“It should be, but I don’t know how else to explain it,” I remarked, finally able to sit up as my stomach stopped churning. I was nervous to eat anything else, but I was hungry without a single clue of what I wanted. I leaned back against the counter, resting my hand on my abdomen, “it’s like this little spark just ignited that morning, almost like my life essence split in two, and it joined together with Loki’s to create a new one. I don’t know how to put it into words, but I knew almost immediately what had happened,” I explained, the warmth of that moment still spreading through my veins. This familiar journey made it that much harder to stay away from Aurora, but it made me that much more passionate about ending the conflict with Cul and Ezra. I would have my daughter back before I welcomed her sibling into the world.

Tony slid himself across the floor until he sat right in front of me. He grasped my hands in his own, giving them a gentle squeeze, “stay in New York,” he insisted, his eyes filling with a hope that I would be forced to break. I wasn’t meant to stay, not without Loki. I wasn’t meant to be anywhere without him. Sensing the conflict in my eyes, he continued with even more resolve. He could sooner move a mountain with his bear hands before he could sway me in this. I couldn’t stay, but I allowed him to continue, “let me look after you while you go through this process. Thor told me what happened last time. You should be monitored. Give Bruce and I just a little more time to reverse the effects of the extremis...please,” he begged, tears filling his eyes as he spoke. The last time we were split up from each other, I died, and I knew how difficult that was for him to come to terms with. He didn’t want to be away from me again.

“I have matters to tend to in Asgard,” I replied, making my voice as soft and delicate as I possibly could. I knew that my words would break his heart and spirits, so I was gentle with how I spoke them. In my mind, I was looking for any possible way to go about the coming months without hurting anyone. The only way this could work out for everyone involved would be if Ezra and Cul were dealt with, taking them out of the picture completely. Then, there wouldn’t be an outside force threatening my family or myself. After that, Loki and I could escape to Midgard with Harley and Kaia to reunite with our daughter, and we could live peacefully amongst the Midgardians as we continued to build our family. While the odds wouldn’t be in my favor for that outcome, I wanted that fairytale happy ending, and I would make it happen. Even if it didn’t happen for me, I would see to it that it happened for my children and my love. I continued speaking, “Loki missed the birth of our first child. He will not miss the birth of our second one. I don’t care what steps I need to take to get him out of those dungeons, he is my beloved, and he belongs with me. I will tear the palace apart if it means he leaves with me,” I added, the anger boiling up within me. I watched as the veins in my hands began to glow that vibrant red, and the way Tony’s eyes widened let me know that my eyes had also taken on that familiar color. I smirked, feeling the power surging through me, “besides...that castle belonged to my father long before it belonged to Odin.”

*Aurora’s POV*

She didn’t like me.

It was clear in the way she had me shooed away every time I even ventured near her room. She wouldn’t make eye contact with me or speak to me. If Clint was so adamant that there wasn’t a hateful bone in her body, I would have presumed that she hated me; however, the first time I said that, Clint and Natasha both jumped to her defense, telling me that it wasn’t in her nature to harbor hatred for anyone. I trusted that they knew her better than I did, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that she didn’t seem to be as partial to me as everyone else. She was nothing like the stories Tony and Steve told me about. They talked about her all the time, but they never mentioned how closed off and isolated she was. She had been at the tower for nearly three weeks, and she had only spoken a single word to me. She was warm and inviting to everyone else from what I could tell, but it was a different story when I was involved.

Still, I wanted to learn about her. I wanted to know who she was like the others did. There was a reason why she was regarded as the Mother of the Earth or the Mother of Mankind. There was a reason why she was placed on a pedestal by the people of Earth, and I wanted to know what that reason was. I wanted to know about her, every little detail. The moment I first saw her the day we arrived, it was like the world made sense. My world began to burst with color. She was someone I was meant to find, almost as if every question in the universe remained unanswered until the moment we met. Every other moment in my life paled in comparison to that one. She was the very breath in my lungs, the sun that warmed my skin, the answer to every question, the lyrics to every song, the eloquent words on every blank page, the very beat of my-once empty-heart, the life that flowed around me. She was all of it.

I was desperate to get close to her, to hear her voice in every moment of silence, to feel the way the warmth would overcome me the moment she touched me. It felt as if I had been running for as long as I could remember, and she was my finish line. While she didn’t seem too interested in getting to know me, it didn’t stop me from forcing my presence in her life when I could. It took a lot of sneaking, but I was able to work my way past Clint, Natasha, and Steve-the ones who would usually steer me away from Eva’s room-and I’d maneuver my way into the brightened room just long enough to bombard her with questions that went unanswered. Thor and Bruce never tried stopping me, and Tony was too preoccupied with his work to pay much attention to what I was doing. He was attentive, but I could sense that he was drowning. He was overworking himself, and that would soon become a problem, so I made a not to intervene.

With Tony having recently left Eva’s room, though, after her confrontation with Thor, it seemed like the best opportunity to slip in. I felt bad for her after I heard the two Asgardians fighting. I was glad it ended peacefully, though. The last time Asgardians fought amongst themselves on Earth, they laid waste to a huge portion of the city, but I understood that it was also a war that Loki decided to wage against humanity. No one spoke of him much, but when they did, they tried to dance around what happened. I despised him. I couldn’t remember it happening-so much of my life was lost to me-but what I learned was horrific. He nearly killed all the people I held so near and dear to my heart, people I couldn’t imagine a life without. He would’ve murdered them, and that was unforgivable to me. I hoped that whatever Asgardian law they had would be cruel to him after what transpired in New York, but I couldn’t say anything of that nature without the room going completely silent and everyone getting uncomfortable, so I kept it to myself.

Making sure that Natasha, Clint, and Steve were nowhere in close vicinity to Eva’s room, I snuck up to the door and pushed it open, quietly stepping inside. My eyes connected with her immediately. She was standing before the large glass wall, staring out at the darkened sky as the rain continued to pour down. I’d never seen anything like it. It had been cloudy and raining almost constantly after she arrived. Tony told me stories about her, how nature seemed to change around her depending on her mood or physical state. He was poetic when he spoke her name, and I watched as the very heart within him danced to life when he gazed at her. She was beautiful, even in her sorrow, which she seemed to live in. Her emerald green eyes, which mirrored the color of mine, searched the outside world for the answers to questions I did not know. The very soul within me ached when I realized that I was unable to help her, that even should I offer my help to the goddess at the window, she would not speak a word to me.

She didn’t even turn to acknowledge my presence in the room, and I watched as her eyes remained fixed on the thick clouds in the sky. The only piece of acknowledgement I received was the light shift of weight from one foot to the other that she did when her ears perked up. She was aware of my presence, and that was the best I could get from her. I made myself comfortable in the room that smelled like her. The scent was comfortable...almost familiar. She smelled of spring, of freshness. Tony once called her the embodiment of nature and life. She was everything new and everything old. Her soul was that of the world we tread upon and the one that gave life to the universe. The room itself was like walking into a forest, but there was a hint of sweetness, too. It was such a familiar smell, one that was locked in the back of my mind. The flash of a memory raced past me, almost too fast for me to see it. I was running through a meadow with a tree with red and white flowers as the leaves positioned at the center of the clearing. There was a woman too far away to recognize, and the moment I tried to decipher who it was, the memory slipped away from me, almost as if I awoke from a dream and into this new one wherein she existed and stood so close to me.

The mere sight of her filled me with this sense of longing, like she was home for me. I wondered if everyone who met her had the same unexplainable connection. Everyone else in the tower seemed partial to her, even taking into consideration her fight with Thor. He still seemed pained by it, almost like arguing with her brought him physical discomfort. He was lucky that he gave up when he did, though, because I was one booming voice away from walking into the room and fighting on her behalf. Clearly, there wouldn’t have been much I could’ve done as a mere human stepping into the metaphorical ring with two other Asgardians, but his loathful tone stung everyone who was close enough to hear it, which was...everyone. I stayed just close enough to the room to hear her melodic voice bite back at him but far enough away that I couldn’t discern what either of them were saying. If Clint had his way, I would’ve been removed from the building completely, but Steve casually glanced the other way when I snuck closer and closer to her room. That was all I wanted: to be closer.

I closed the space between us, resigning myself to sit on the chair that I made my home while she was still asleep. Countless hours were spent in that chair, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest or the way the light hit her sun-kissed skin. For a week, I found ways to sneak into her room just to be in her presence. It was similar to the warmth of the sun on my skin. I felt rejuvenated. Being close to her was like being...home. I knew so little about her other than what was said about her, but it was like my soul and her soul were forged into one from the very beginning of the universe. I knew that wherever she was...that was where I was meant to be. Pulling my knees up to my chest, resting my feet on the chair, I hugged my legs close, thinking of anything to say this time that would get her to open up. Tony made a remark once that she was old-fashioned, that her and I had that in common. He prided himself on building up a massive library, and he seemed to collect works that were of a more sophisticated taste. He kept a lot of the classics, but he had a soft spot for Shakespeare and Charlotte Brontë. I read constantly, spending most of my time among the books he collected. Hoping that it would be the thing that connected us, I thought of one of my favorite Shakespearean lines, one from Romeo and Juliet, a play that-upon its completion-left me devastated for weeks. Interrupting the silence, I took a deep breath, hoping that this would be the moment she finally let me in, “amen, amen. But come what sorrow can-”

She cut me off, a voice more beautiful than those of a choir of angels speaking directly to me, “it cannot countervail the exchange of joy that one short minue gives me in her sight. Do thou but close our hands with holy words, then love-devouring death do what he dare; it is enough I may but call her mine,” she finished the quote with ease. She was clearly well-versed when it came to Shakespeare, which caught me off guard, but it also gave me hope that this would be the tie that bound us together.

She still didn’t turn to face me, but I couldn’t help the pride that swelled in my chest. I broke through to her, “I didn’t think Asgardians knew Shakespeare,” I remarked, praying that this would be the start to a long, never-ending conversation. For a moment, I dreamed of staying up into the early hours of the morning, talking to her about our favorite books, asking her questions about her home, hearing her answers on that velvety smooth voice, cascading from her lips with the grace of a trained dancer. I dreamed of having her look me in the eyes like she did on the day she first woke up. I dreamed of having her look at me with the same unconditional love she had for the others.

After a moment of prolonged silence, her voice cut through it like a knife through butter, seemingly filling my soul with its majestic beauty, “my love used to quote Shakespeare to me often. He and I would sit beneath the ever-watchful stars above Asgard, and he would whisper my favorite sonnets to me. Shakespeare wrote the words, but my love spoke them directly into my heart,” she mused, a smile overcoming her lips as I watched her reflection intently. Every word, every pause to take a breath, every dip in her voice as she spoke left me entranced by her, but her smile was otherworldly.

I shrugged, hoping that she would say more but understanding that she may have needed a push, “he had good taste. Shakespeare is my favorite,” I explained, opening up to her as I had been doing almost constantly since she arrived. Most of the time, I spoke and she stood there quietly, not saying a single word back to me. The moment I opened up to her again, though, her smile fell, and our eyes locked in the reflection for a moment that passed us by so quickly. She hurriedly looked away, and silence befell us again. It couldn’t be over, not when it just started, “can you tell me about him?” I asked, yearning to get just a little bit more from her. Steve told me once that there were instances where it was better to never get the taste for something at all because then you’d never miss its sweetness. This was one of those circumstances, and I wondered if he was talking about her all along. He seemed to be partial to her in a way that he wasn’t with anyone else. He was just as enthralled by her as everyone else seemed to be, but he looked at her like she was some long lost love.

When the silence quickly became uncomfortable between us, I desperately tried to fix the damage that my previous question had caused, “nevermind, sorry. It’s not my business,” I cleared my throat, glancing around the room as if the blank walls would tell me what to say next, “so, Tony’s still working on the serum to counteract the extremis, and he said it should only take a few more days, so...if you do feel the need to just talk or...whatever, just let me know. I’m usually right in the living room, or I’m down in Tony’s workshop with him. We’d also love to have you for our Friday movie night. Tomorrow, it’s my choice, but if you want to join us, I’ll let you have my pick. It’s the last one before Clint leaves, and I told him he could have my pick, but he doesn’t want it,” I explained, running a hand through my hair that I hadn’t bothered to braid back. It was untameable that morning, so I left it alone, becoming frustrated with it quickly, “we’re still working on catching Steve up on what he’s missed, so I’m a bit clueless. It’s a lot of fun, though. We turn the living room into a fort, and we all sit in our pajamas with some popcorn and cookies that Bruce bakes. They usually come out a little strange, but we grin and bear it because he’s proud of them; though, they’ve gotten better since Natasha started helping. It’s an open invitation. We start at 8:30 because Tony wants me in bed no later than 11, but you don’t have a bedtime, so any time should work for you.”

Nothing.

She didn’t say a single word to me. It was as if my words fell on deaf ears. While it frustrated me, it hurt me more than anything. I felt like a pest, like just a waste of space. What was so wrong with me? What had I done wrong? I didn’t want her to form a bond with me out of pity-something I always suspected of the people at the tower-but I just wanted her to give me a chance to prove myself. The moment the door opened and Natasha appeared in the room, though, was the moment I understood just how unwanted I was by Eva. She turned to the redheaded beauty and smiled, greeting her with a friendly attitude, causing my heavy heart to sink straight into the chair beneath me. My body took over, sensing that my heart no longer knew what was best for it, and in a desperate attempt to save my heart from itself, I ran out of the room with tears in my eyes and a dull ache coursing throughout my entire body. It felt like I was losing something I never had in the first place. Eva wasn’t mine. She was nothing to me, so why did I feel so devastated when she placed herself just out of my reach?

I avoided the arms of Steve and Clint who both tried to catch me as I ran past them. I knew the two men well enough to know that they would plant themselves right outside my door until I caved and let them in or at least talked to them. They worried about me; aside from saving the world, it was what they were best known for. Once I reached my room, I pushed the door open before slamming it behind me, locking it just as quickly. Living with Tony, I knew there was no use locking the doors because Jarvis always kept an eye on me and kept Tony updated on my well-being. When I would get frustrated, I knew that it was easier to just talk to him about what was on my mind. Living with Steve was similar. I knew that a lock wouldn’t keep him from holding me through whatever hell I was experiencing. There was no covering up the fact that the man would’ve busted through the lock in order to get to me, but he gave me my space when I was desiring it. In this situation, I wasn’t so sure how the space would work out. I wanted space, but I didn’t need it. I needed to feel close, but I needed that closeness with Eva. Of all people, my soul chose the one just out of reach.

Leaning my back against the wall beside the door, I slid down it just as quickly as the tears slid down my cheeks. I wiped them away with one hand as my free arm wrapped around my knees, keeping them hugged against my chest. No matter how quickly I wiped the tears away, they were relentless. I bit my bottom lip, holding back a sob that threatened to give away just how devastated I was. Beyond the door, though, I could feel the comforting presence of Steve and Clint. Natasha wouldn’t have been far behind them, and if Bruce and Tony knew what was going on, no one could’ve stopped them from busting down the door as they attempted to comfort me, “talk to me, sweetheart. What’s going on?” Clint asked, his voice slightly muffled by the wall that separated us.

I ran my fingers through my hair, anger boiling up within me at the current situation. I wasn’t angry at Eva, though. I was angry at myself. There was clearly something wrong with me. I gripped the roots of my hair, pulling just enough to allow me the physical pain that acted as a momentary release of the emotional burden I had been carrying around for as long as I could remember, “Eva hates me! She hates me, and I’m a pest!” I yelled, wishing that the constant yearning to be closer to her would just die away. I wished to be able to cut it out because if it were possible, I would’ve done so in a heartbeat, but it was impossible to cut out ones own soul.

“She doesn’t hate you. There’s not a single hateful bone in her body. It’s just...hard for her to let people in,” Clint tried to explain away her behavior. It was clear that she didn’t want me. No one truly did. I was meant to be alone. My parents didn’t want me. Eva didn’t want me. I was sure that if I gave the rest of them a chance, they’d leave me soon enough. I was damaged goods. I had no name, no past, and I wished not to have a future in that moment as well. The thought was fleeting, but it frightened me nonetheless.

I bit my quivering bottom lip, sniffling as I fought back the tears, “she has no problem letting the rest of you in.”

There was a momentary silence, and I heard the nearly silent shift of Steve’s weight from one foot to the other. The two men would do with me exactly as they did with Eva. They would sit outside my door if they couldn’t be in the room with me. I’d found Steve more than once sleeping against the wall right outside her bedroom door on the one night he couldn’t sleep in the chair right beside her bed. That night, the chair was taken up by Eva’s father, Aaldir, who I had met. He looked at me for a long time, almost like he had seen a ghost, his face going pale as his dark brown eyes widened. I could see the universe in them as he looked at me. Once he collected himself, he bowed his head to me before brushing past me to speak in private with Thor. Steve slept right outside Eva’s door that night, and I brought two blankets: one for him and one for myself. I stayed on that floor in that very spot every single night, hoping-wishing that she’d invite me in, hoping that she would open up the door and allow me into a heart I yearned to hold only a piece of. The silence was followed by Steve’s calming voice, “you remind her of someone from her past, someone she loved more than anything else. When she sees you, she remembers all the pain that came with it. She’s been hurt more than most. Life hasn’t been kind to her, Aurora; you should be the first person to understand that.”

There was another near silence, and I listened intently as the two men stepped away from my door. Their soft voices-low enough so I couldn’t make out what they were saying-seeped into the room through the crack at the bottom of the door. Natasha’s voice was amongst the two deeper ones, and I smiled at her dedication to me. They were all family to me, but Natasha understood me in a way that the others couldn’t. It didn’t take long for their voices to fall silent, and a few knocks sounded on my door, “can I come in?” Nat asked in her raspy voice that often sung Russian lullabies to me as I fell asleep. She would stroke my hair back and sing, but they weren’t the songs that were in my heart. Instead, I was left trying to figure out the melodies on my own as her voice lulled me to sleep.

I closed my eyes, focusing on the lock on the door. I imagined it turning. Just as I imagined it, I listened to the metal lock unlatch itself, allowing Natasha access to my room. Over time, I began to discover things about myself, things that I didn’t dare speak of to anyone else, things that I kept hidden away. No one else needed to know about these unimportant occurrences because it would only worry those who worried about me enough for a thousand lifetimes. As soon as the door unlocked, Nat pushed the door open just enough to slip inside before closing it behind her, “hi,” she whispered, her voice like a single ray of light shining through the storm of my darkest thoughts. Without another word said, she leaned back against the wall and slid down to sit right next to me, draping her arm around my shoulders the moment she reached the floor.

I leaned into her warmth. The woman who was seen as an assassin was nothing of the sort in my eyes. She was powerful-a force to be reckoned with-but gentle when the situation called for that. I nestled into her, but I still felt like something was missing. Eva. She was that missing puzzle piece. I didn’t know why the universe brought us together, but it did. She was what I was looking for. She was the person I needed to feel whole. No matter if I ever found my parents or not, she was the one I needed most. It was as unconscious a thought as breathing. We didn’t think of it, we just did it. I didn’t have to think about why I needed her to know that I did, in fact, need her. I buried my face into Nat’s neck as the tears wet her warm skin, “I just want someone to choose me!”

She stroked my hair back, her fingers never once tugging at the wild waves, “we chose you,” she reminded me, her voice thick with unshed tears. She buried her emotions until she was alone. I heard her cry in the room with Eva one day, but when I saw her, she was just as stoic as usual. Those feelings-the heavy ones-weren’t ones she wanted to share.

“No, you guys were stuck with me,” I argued, shaking my head at the notion that anyone, especially people like Tony and Steve could bring themselves to love someone like me. I was unlovable...unwanted.

“Is that what you think this is? That we’re stuck with you?” she asked, as if my question somehow offended her. She wasn’t easily offended, so I knew that the damage my words had done was serious. Still, I was certain that my words were no less than truthful, so I nodded in response. Looking up at her, I saw that tears welled up in her eyes. She tried to blink them back, but in doing so, I watched as they fell. I did that. I caused that. I was the water that found its way into a rock and cracked it open from the inside. I ruined things. I destroyed things. She cleared her throat, collecting herself enough to look back down at me, our eyes meeting with mutual love for one another. She forced a smile, “well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we didn’t choose what happened when we all first met you. We didn’t choose how deeply in love we fell with you. What we did choose, however, was to let you into our little world, and I think I speak for everyone when I say that we never once regretted that. It was the greatest decision of my life to let you into my world, to let you see me for what I am instead of the monster other people see me as. I’m not afraid to tell you that you’re wrong about us being stuck with you. You’re a gift.”

I nodded my head, allowing the tears to overcome me again as I lost myself in her embrace, “why does it hurt so much, then? Why does it feel like this? Why can’t I just accept that she doesn’t care?”

“Because you love so deeply. Those who love the most are also the ones who suffer the most. She’s guarded, but she wasn’t always that way. I’ve heard stories of the girl she used to be before the universe pulled the rug out from under her,” she explained, looking for the right words to help me understand the mysterious Asgardian better; however, it seemed as if she was dancing around a clearer description of events. She was choosing every word meticulously. There was something I wasn’t being told, and I was going to find out what it was, “Eva is the only person I know who loved so deeply it cost her everything...even herself.”

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aspiestvmusings · 5 years

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THE MASKED SINGER: SEASON 2 [SPOILERS]: MY THOUGHTS & GUESSES

I was gonna do a full guesses post for the shows second season, but then I realized... I might be on to something (because I guessed 50% of the first double-episodes masks) & I don’t wanna ruin it for so many, so I am only giving my HINTS of the my guesses, not the names or anything. But still...

SPOILER WARNING!

I didn’t watch during S1, but I saw the clips over summer & have watched the first few shows this season...

During the first week I knew one of the reveals. The other I did not know, because I'm “old” & am just not familair with current young generation idols and stars... And the more I think about my guesses (I did just google each of my guesses..fast, and many things I read match with the character clues I suspect they play on this show, so...)

CHARACTERS IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER

1. The Black Widow = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else...besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. I’m torn between two ladies - R. & A. ETA on Oct 17th: After tonight’s ep clues it’s basically conformed - that’s miss R.

2. The Butterfly = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. ETA: After the Oct 17th episode it’s pretty much confirmed that it’s miss M. (the singer, not the actress)

3. The Eagle = HAVE NOT HEARD HIM PERFORM YET, but based on the outfit & first clues it is a big “rock” star from the “past”. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. ETA: Well, this one was pure character play - he was the “weakest link” of the episode. Not a singer. He was the one unmasked. It was... SPOILER. And since I’m not from US, he’s one of the stars I did not know & hence would’ve never guessed.

4. The Flamingo = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. ETA on Oct 17th: After tonight’s ep clues it’s basically conformed - that’s miss A.

5. The Flower = HAVE NOT HEARD HER PERFORM YET, but based on the clues it can only be one person. An actress. The clues that reveal it’s her are: There are a dozen (read: 12) reasons...; She blossoms in every field she plants herself in. Also...the number 314 was seen at one point (which in this case is not P = 3.14, but stands for something other). These three clues alone tell us who she is. Miss M. The doctorate clue also points to her. But... then there are clues & things that say the opposite. EDIT: And after seeing & hearing her... I’m torn...cause now it seems that it’s someone “legendary”, cause of that voice! ETA: It was miss P.L.

6. The Fox = The clues strongly suggest this is one of the Marvel superheroes. Since I haven’t heard him perform yet, I cannot be sure who. But based on the looks (his posture, movement...), and the clues so far it sounds most like Mr. J. EDIT: But... after hearing him it sounds more like mr. W (who I originally considered for Thingamajic) - he worked with actors, who were hinted at the clue section. Yet... I still think that despite what he sounds like it actually is someone, who plays a superhero on TV/in films, and I’m still leaning towards MCU actor. But I have to re-listen to make a better guess. Cause the clues suggest different MCU actors than I initially thought based on the previews... Yet it could also be someone else, who has been in film industry.... But based on the voice it’s most likely mr. W.

7. The Ladybug = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. It does sound a lot like miss K. based on the voice, and the clues, though. ETA: Yes, it was K.O.

8. The Leopard = The clues point to several possibilities, but based on the voice alone..my first guess (and so far only guess based on that voice) is Mr. S. Most clues also fit him. A few clues don’t fit that well, but his voice to me sounded most similar to the man known by the artist name different than the one he’s portraying. And all the lines mentioned by/about him on stage were direct references/quotes/titles of his hit songs etc. The other clues hint more towards a stage presence of a more colourful persona though, so other peoples guesses that it’s B. or R. or R. or J. or D. are good, too. I’m just unfamiliar with some of their voices, so cannot agree/disagree. Based on his behaviour I’d say it’s mr. J. The personality seems more like J. (a known “prankster” with amazing voice & talent), or R. (he’s worn leopard print outfits that made into headlines, he’s British, has had hits...only thing is that to me the voice doesn’t match the characters...though great singers can mask their voices, too...).

The clues: British Elizabethan dress/costume; the “British accent”, the newspaper headlines in the clues segment: Crazy game ends with win for the Leopard + Out of Hits & Out of Time + The Runaway; adaptable & can survive anywhwhere - even under harsh conditions; knows what it’s like to be at the top; has had many hit songs (he’s been a heavy hitter); “scandals” & “celebrity culture” - people/fans more interested in the celebrity aspect & rumours etc... than in his music/talent; he really doesn’t care what they about what he’s wearing...or about his relationships; clock hand on number 9; J’adore; “Don’t stop”; DIVINE: "Leopards can be fierce, and yer so divine”; playing with the hosts/Nick's tux/suit; Kiss(ed by) from a Leopard; “from the jungle”; “piercing green eyes”; ready for the spotlight; “ready to move mountains”; “spectacular performances”; "The Secret Service”; “Spotted with the presidents”

ETA on Oct 17th: After tonight’s ep clues it’s confirmed - that’s mr. S. Almost no chance it could be anyone else... Oh, darling...that gave you away. And even though several clues fit also mr. T.D., the song title references to me confirm my first guess.

9. The Penguin = I HAVE NOT HEARD HER PERFORM YET

10. The Rottweiler = The voice and several clues say it’s well known singer Mr. C. (who lost to miss K.M.), but the clues are also very fitting to a singing actor Mr. S. (who co-starred opposite the same miss K.M. on a certain show)…but though I know he has a great singing voice, based on many things I’m currently leaning towards my first guess. Both fit several of the clues..in several ways, though! All the (fantasy) football, abs/six pack (and most likely coming clues that claim he’s a comic book fan & supports his wife...publicly, is a proud + great father)... clues fit both of them - these two men have quite a lot in common. Both are also born in the same year & both had/have a big birthday this year. The voice seems so much like the singers, and the clues fit so well (everything from the football to roses to the “beauty salon setting” and the LIVE fit this great voice, who has had hits on radio). At the same time almost all clues & much more suggest it’s the actor with a good voice (whose old band had the word dog in it, whose been in a boy band, whose done musical theatre, and who might have found bigger fame on tv/film, but to those who know him... he’s always been a great singer & performer, he’s even been in a band that was a “warm up act” for N’Sync tour once. He’s a multi-talent, who studied to be a structural engineer... and even though he was working on one big project this summer, I do think he would’ve had time to also do this).

For me the greatness of the voice + the hair salon and one specific line in the clues suggest it’s the singer & the on-stage-presence and backwards hat suggests the actor. Everything else fits both! So it all depends on if the chose the “hip hop” look as a disguise...cause the singer is not known as hiphop artist, or if the hip outfit is more his style...which would mean it’s the actor. If I’d figure out the dog’s (that’s god backwards) height, I’d know which of the two he is, because one of them is 172cm and the other 182cm & the taller one is also buff-ier (he’s all muscles!..and the dog seems quite small under the costume) - The Rottweiler seems to be about the same height as the host Nick (he is 183cm) - their shoulders seem to be about the same height, so this would tip the scales to the actor. But after a re-watch it now seems to me the dog is shorter than the host, so that confirms the singer. Even the fact that they’ve always had the lead roles (on screen, in bands...), but they’ve also both lost to someone else...is similar. If they’d include numbers as clues, then number 5 would suggest the singer & number 425 the actor. If the blue roses symbolise a tattoo, its the singer, if the blue & purple symbolise something else (HD), its the singer...

Only thing I can’t directly connect to either of the two is the gold chain... That seems to suggest at the third option... or maybe it was added just to make the two parts of the costume blend in better together...not be so obvious) But then I’ve also heard some great guesses from others & though I am unfamiliar with Mr. B.W.’s voice, several (dog) clues fit him, too. He’s done music with canine titles, and he’s talented + he’s also known to wear gold. Plus I am also kinda suspecting (based on the great voice) that it might be a certain Canadian even though I cannot fit most clues to him... But in my minds if it’s not one of the two I suspect, I will be very surprised. It would also be a great and fun “promotional” trick, if the dog would be the spider-kid T.H., who is the voice of a dog in an upcoming film (he even posted a pic of his charcater with the same words the dog used “This dog’s bark is just as good as his bite”. But it cannot be either him or his screen-dad mr. R.D.J, cause while they both match the height, they dont match the voice or the clues. Based on the costume choice it’d be the funniest if it was one of the (hiphop) artists, who use a canine name: Snoop Doggy Dog, Pitbull... but the voice and clues match others better.

The clues: The hair salon/beauty salon style setting; the vinyl record with the title/name LIVE playing; “grooming” shaving the dogs “body hair”; “touched the pigs skin under the friday night lights” (pigs skin = football) = Friday Night (Lights); preparation is key; blue roses; (being a) hungry competitor; rising to fame (by being a competitor)... almost overnight; Fantasy (Football) Champion (ring); was bitten by a dog/rottweiler as a kid; “it’s not over”; gold chain around his neck; the big (golden) wrist watch; (golden) bowtie; the (backwards) baseball hat; the fashionable look and the sneakers; “this pretty pup’s got chops”; “take a bite out of this competition”; just “wait and see”; “get up on our high lanes”; “he’s there to be the best in show and his bark is just as big as his bite”; he’s a total perfectionist; “he’s gonna work his tail out to earn your puppy love”; the fashionable hip-hop look of the costume; roses are blue - violets are red (a poem by Patrick Star?), “rockin’ a furry 6-pack”, = the six-pack! (abs)

If the next clues say that he has strong arms it’s the actor, if they say that he wanted to become the iNext Michael, but didn’t..it’s the singer. Either way...all eyes are on the Rottweiler... ;) And since the height & the song clues pretty much confirm it’s the singer....the song choice makes sense, too. He has actually performed with Hall & Oates. I’ve heard him sing “Out of Touch” with the band/duo. So, while I still wish it could be the actor... there are clues that pretty much confirm it is the singer... the height alone does that. Yet... the dog is holding the mic in his left hand... and I’ve only ever seen the singer hold the mic in his right, when he performs, but the actor switches hands (ambidextrous while holding the mic), so... I really need to hear and see some more to solve this mystery, cause I keep going back & forth... ETA: It is mr. C.D.

....

11. The Skeleton = If this is not some known comedian/host/comedic actor, I will be surprised. Based on the voice alone I can’t really guess. Based on the stage presence the character reminds me of Mr. M.’s character on a certain streaming services show, - there was/is a storyline about him doing musical theatre, and this stage presence + voice to me looks so much like that characters stage presence. Only thing throwing me off is that though that actor is also shorter & older, it doesn’t really seem to be him (the appearance). But… actors can be good at disguising themselves… Also..the clues apparently fit him… so well! I do not read gossip magazines (usually), but I just googled him to see this latest projects, etc...like I did with all the names that I suspect are hiding behind the masks...to check the facts for this post) and the headlines about him this year match the skeleton’s clues…quite well, so now I'm not sure. But I still think its someone a bit younger than mr. M.).

12. The Thingamajic = The stage presence screams tall athlete (basketball/baseball player). The clues give us a possible birthday and from the people born on that day who can sing (read: who I am aware of that can sing) Mr. V. fits most of the clues + what can be seen & heard. It could be some other tall athlete, or non-athlete. Like mr. J (who has played a character, who was a huge Chewbacca & SW fan), who is tall...though I remember his natural voice being different. But..since the show likes to trick us, I’d say that the person inside the costume is not as tall as the outfit suggest, so I would guess more based on the voice than by the height alone. So.. it could also be Mr. W., who is not 7 feet tall, but whose voice (to me) seems very similar to this characters (many clues fit him extremely well). For me its either V. or W. ETA: It is mr. V.O:

The clues: The height (7 feet tall with the costume); backstage dressing room style outfit closet; plaid/tartan shirts; karaoke style subtitles during the clue segment; rhyming text during the clue segment; puzzling/puzzles; gentle giant, feather (feathery kind of gentle giant); portfolio case with wings; a magic case (magic ticks); keep up the pace; triangles; old school style microphone stand; loves to sing...but isn’t necessarily known as a singer; silhouettes of people & palm trees...; he’s more than fashion shoots and dreams; sneakers; “walk the line” - rope walking; magnifying glass, number 4 (on a cupcake), colourful glasses frames, dressed in plaid, rip/tear in the costume on the “thigh”, his eyes are actually at the height where the costumes mouth is. He’s ALL the things we see (in the clue package & more), “I’m easy like a Sunday morning", ON AIR 31-33-41-43, in need of a dentist, he’s kind of a big deal, “welcome to my kingdom”, his puzzling persona, he’s literally unlike anything like you’ve ever seen or heard before, He’s not Chewbacca...though they do celebrate together. ETA on Oct 17th: After tonights ep clues it’s conformed - that’s mr. V.

13. The Tree = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. I wish it was an actress, who also sings - miss Z. She’s done Christmas films/music... but that voice is not really hers, so...

EXTRA: If I am correct in guessing their identities, then two of the male singers behind the masks have worked together on a special musical project in 2016.

ALREADY BEEN REVEALED

1. The Egg = Johnny Weir (He was the only one I guessed based on the clues + his on stage performance & presence + voice)

2. The Ice Cream = Tyler “Ninja” Blevins (The kids may start to know the popular names amongst todays next generation, but I am “old”, so his name & persona were completely unknown to me)

3. The Panda = Laila Ali (I should’ve known based on the letter the baby panda wrote to her daddy panda, but I didn’t guess immediately & decided to watch the reveal right away… not giving myself time to guess some more)

4. The Eagle = Dr. Drew Pinsky (radio host)

5. The Skeleton = Mr. SPOILER

NOTE: I am new to this show, but since I love music, and I love puzzles, I have decided to follow this season. And since i did’t watch last year (just watched clips etc later...), and am unaware of how things are done on the show, but... based on the two shows I’ve now seen... it kinda seems to me that they are hiding clues about the contestants in other contestants parts. Like... if we’d use last season as an example... they’d say “this person has felt PAIN... a lot” for someone else than the Monster character. Or “he’s a KNIGHT in shining armor”...for someone else than the Bee character. I just had this strange sensation when listening to/watching the clues that the things they alluded to weren’t always about the character whose segment was on.

Also: I do not think the comments that the “judges” say are pointless. I do think that they’ve chosen very carefully which ones to keep. Like I think that “I don’t think its an actor on a tv show” is meaningless. The little, seemingly random lines often seem to me actually like clues.

For those, who are familiar with showbiz and people in showbiz the show is/should be really easy. The voices + the clues combined make it too easy... but none of us are familiar with every “celebrity”, which is why not all masked singers are guessed correctly. But yeah, I would say that the clues are often too easy. Like...if the Flower, Fox, Leopard, Rottweiler turn out to be who I think they are... they are still making it too easy. They are literally telling you who it is. Including song titles/words and film/show titles and/or character names, or sports team names...literally... in the dialogue/voiceovers....

But...the thing is that some of the clues are actual helpful clues, and some seem to have been added as “red herrings” - to muddy the waters, and make it more confusing. Also... many of them do seem to mask their voices & not reveal their real voice right away, so that is also a distraction method... making it harder to guess.

So... this is all for show, because there is no way the “judges” don’t recognize some of the voices & think of certain people as possible options for specific characters. This year it’s specifically means that there’s no way they did not hear & consider certain singer being the leopard...as the voice just sounds like his...even if its an act (someone is mimicking him). So this alone tells me that the panel is putting on a show - they’re directed to not say the right name right away..if they know/guess it... to keep the suspense longer. And/Or the show is edited so that if someone guesses some character too fast...that part is cut out..and/or saved for later (they do add audio from the panel...at times...when they’re actually showing the artist, so it also seems to me as some editing has been going on... to mix different moments...)

#SPOILER #THE MASKED SINGER #TMS SPOILERS #TMS SEASON 2 #TMS #long post #list post #text post #SPOILERS #MASKED SINGER

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beingallelite · 5 years

Link

"They need to stop this match. Seriously. Or someone's going to die."

The fans sitting directly behind me at All Elite Wrestling's All Out last month in Chicago were worried about Nick Jackson. The younger of the two Jackson brothers who make up the iconic Young Bucks tag team, Nick is the daredevil of the team: a high-flying wild man who seemingly knows no fear.

But everyone in the audience felt it for him during the "Escalera De La Muerte" match with the Lucha Bros—especially as he tumbled from atop a ladder all the way to the floor where he missed all but a piece of the two tables that were supposed to break his fall. It was the highlight-reel spot in a spectacle that was immediately ensconced in wrestling legend, one of the most incredible stunt shows the sport has seen.

"We probably almost went too far," Nick admits in an exclusive interview. "There was a point where I almost died when the ladder was tossed and I clipped the top rope with my feet and went through the table. And one minute later, Matt landed awkwardly on his side when Penta pushed the ladder. Those two things weren't supposed to go down that way, but when they did go completely wrong, that's when I was thinking 'I hope fans are not thinking this is too much.'

"...I think it was my idea to end the feud with a ladder match. We just didn't know what we were going to name it at the time. (AEW owner) Tony (Khan) loved the idea to do a ladder match at the end. We knew if we had a ladder match with these guys it would be nuts because we've had ladder matches before but we'd never had a ladder match with two of the craziest wrestlers in the business today.

"We knew if we got them in a ladder match, it would probably make history. And here we are now."

Before Nick even began his frantic, foolish and utterly spectacular fall, his brother Matt knew something had gone horribly wrong.

"Immediately, I knew that there was going to be an issue," Matt says. "Nick was supposed to be climbing a 10-foot ladder, but the Luchas had by mistake taken out the 8-foot ladder. From the rehearsal we knew it was gonna take a 10-foot. When I saw Nick climbing the 8-footer, I thought 'He's not gonna make it. I don't even know why he's trying, he's not gonna make it.'

"I'm on the floor panicked but what do you do? I figured he's gonna have to climb to the very, very top rung, which he pretty much did. He was on the second to last. I was concerned, but I thought to myself as long as he can make one of the tables he'll be OK and it can help break his fall.

"I saw him up there, and as he was falling, my heart almost stopped. I was watching my little brother just almost die right there in the match."

It was a frightening moment. But despite the pleas of some in our section, the match continued. Matt still had some high-risk, high-impact spots of his own to close the bout and knew his brother, despite being banged up, was going to be OK.

"We always give each other a look to kind of talk to each other," Matt says. "We've been doing this long enough now we can talk to each other without actually speaking to each other. I can just look at his eyes. I saw his eyes and he gave me the look like 'I'm OK.'

"We have such good referees at AEW who we trust with our lives. Rick Knox has been reffing our matches our entire career, so he's been with us throughout these types of matches. He communicated with Nick right away and then he came and told me that he was OK. It is like a game of Telephone. We're all talking without talking. There's this secret society stuff going on and nobody realizes it."

While the fan-favorite Young Bucks lost the match, no one in the audience could be too upset. They were, it seemed, just happy that everyone survived the carnage.

Because of their popular YouTube series, Being The Elite, the Bucks seem less like distant and unapproachable celebrity athletes and more like close friends you simply haven't met yet. It's a unique relationship that gives fans a cheering interest in the match that feels different to anything else in wrestling.

"I feel like when we get hurt, or almost get hurt, they are so emotionally invested it's like watching their friend almost die," Matt says. "The crowd would go to a hushed silence after some of those bad falls because they really care about us.

"This is one of the few matches of my career, that I can remember, where fans were literally begging me to never do one again. When the fans are saying that, it really hits home for me. Maybe we have pushed the boundaries a little too far. We had guardian angels watching over us that night."

Tag team action, though perhaps action not quite this risky, will be a staple of AEW programming. The division has been dormant in the American mainstream for decades, with even title matches serving as little more than pre-show fodder on WWE's top shows.

The Bucks, executives as well as wrestlers for the new promotion, are uniquely situated to serve as their own proof of concept, demonstrating to any skeptics that tag team wrestling can mean money in contemporary wrestling.

"For some reason, whatever it is, Vince McMahon just doesn't like tag team wrestling," Nick says. "And for 20 years now, he's controlled the mainstream market in wrestling. It's become a lost art form because of that. I think we're gonna change that come October 2 because we have the best tag teams in wrestling. We're gonna focus on it more so than anything you've seen in 20 years. Don't be surprised if a tag team match is the main event on TV multiple times a year."

Wearing the dual hat as executive and wrestler hasn't always been easy for others who have attempted to pull it off over the years. In the case of AEW, all four executive vice presidents (the Bucks, Cody Rhodes and Kenny Omega) are among the most popular acts in the company. That means they'll be putting themselves into prominent positions on the card, something that might not sit well with other wrestlers and a subsection of hypercritical fans.

"There's a fine line, but when it's all said and done, Tony is the last call to order," Nick says. "He has final say on everything. There have been two times now where Matt and I have actually said 'OK, we want to lose tonight' and it gets to Tony and he goes, 'Nope, you guys are winning.' We tried to dispute and we've failed both times. Of course, fans aren't going to see that and will probably think I'm even lying by saying it, but it's the truth."

While Matt agrees it's a tricky situation, he believes it's manageable if they keep the same ethos and philosophies that have guided them to this point.

"I never even wanted to tell people I was an EVP and it just kind of got out," he says. "There are other EVPs who love that. They want to talk about it. That's fine, but Nick and I have always been the type of people who say, 'No, I'm always a wrestler first and I want people to think of me as a wrestler.'

"We always just want to be one of the boys. It's tricky territory. They are going to say, 'Well, they're booking it. Of course, they're gonna go over.' Then there's the argument they are the popular act everyone wants to see so, of course, they should win.

"I don't think we should overthink it. A big reason we did this was to shine a spotlight on talent that isn't as well-known, and Nick and I are very unselfish in that way. We really want to get other people over.

"We don't have to win every match. We've been losing most of our career, people don't realize. We probably don't have a winning record if you looked at it. It's not that important to us, but we should keep ourselves to a point where we don't look overly weak. It's very, very tricky, and you know what? We are never going to be able to keep everybody happy."

By next week at this time, the inaugural episode of AEW Dynamite will be done. What the promotion is, and what it should be, will be widely debated for weeks and probably years to come. But the Jacksons know from experience what they don't want it to be if they want to see success.

"You have to be different," Nick says. "You can't try to be them. The one thing TNA did wrong was try to be a lesser version of them. We can't be them because we're not competing with them. We have to be different and we have to listen to the fans."

For Matt, it's all about serving the audience that helped get them here. AEW talks about fans as family and intends to build a show wrestling fans can love, not one they watch begrudgingly hoping this is the week when things turn around.

"They feel like they're so neglected," Matt says. "The things that they want, they just don't get. What we learned early on when we did our first show, All In, was we built this entire show and gave the fans the finishes they wanted, and they came out of that show feeling so good.

"Some of the things they expected, but we learned that it's OK sometimes if they expect something and they want something, you just give it to them. It's what a really good television show is. You build to this climax and you're thinking in the back of your head, 'Man, when they get to the season finale, they have to do it this way,' and then just imagine actually doing that.

"Aesthetically, we have to look, we have to smell, we have to sound different. If you're flipping through the channels on Wednesday night, you have to know within one second from looking at one frame of our show, 'Oh, that's AEW.'"

While no one can say for sure yet what AEW Dynamite will look like, The Young Bucks are willing to share what it won't be. As much of their success as they owe to Being The Elite, they have no intention of trying to duplicate their YouTube phenomenon on mainstream television. Instead, it will morph into a companion piece for the actual show, continuing to develop characters and bringing the audience closer to the performers as people.

"We're going to keep those things separate, and I kind of like that," Matt says. "I think BTE should live on YouTube. It can be the TV-MA version of our show. You can watch SCU do a PG-13 rant on the Turner program, and you can watch Frankie (Kazarian) drop 12 f-bombs on Being The Elite.

"As for the Road To program, I would love it if we kept a lot of that stuff and put it on the television show because that's a great way to develop characters and tell their stories. I think our television show will look like a lot of the stuff on Road To."

By Wednesday, the guessing games can finally come to an end. After months of buildup, AEW will finally have arrived on national television. Stay tuned to this space for weekly coverage and more exclusive interviews and content.

Hard Times Promo of the Week

The wrestlers of WWE and AEW spent months building a bridge of good will, agreeing almost to a person that a second major wrestling promotion could only benefit the talent.

The rise of AEW and NXT gives prospective wrestlers two more places to ply their trade and creates dozens of full-time jobs in a business that had been shrinking for decades.

Well, Kenny Omega took a flamethrower to that bridge last week, dismissing NXT wrestlers as little more than preliminary fodder still in the developmental stage of their careers. This week, just in case, he firebombed what was left of the relationship between the two groups in an incredible promo on Being The Elite.

Omega, sitting in front of a giant blowup poster of his Pro Wrestling Illustrated cover, ostensibly apologized for his previous comments. But then, thinking the camera was off in an ode to The Simpsons' "Gabbo" episode, proceeded to give "those SOBs" the business. In particular, he targeted NXT preliminary wrestler Dominik Dijakovic in an in-character rant.

Here's the money segment:

"He's not even used. OK? But I can see him. Donovon D--khead. Right? Sitting there, 'Now Triple H will push me. I'm gonna get the TV time now! I'm gonna stand up for the team.'

"I speak a promo in character, OK? Is he mad that I said bad things about Jon Moxley? No. How many fans do you think came to me and said, 'Kenny, not cool, bro! You really want to hurt Jon Moxley? You're not sympathetic to his injury?' How many people do you think f--king said that?

"No, its these children. It's these people that barely have a grasp on the English language and they're tweeting at me saying, ‘How dare you say that these guys are developmental talent! They're not developmental and they're better than you actually. They did more for the business than you!'

"OK. You want f--king reality? You know how many match-of-the-year awards I have? You know how many records I f--king broke? I shattered. And no one is ever gonna rebreak them.

"People in Japan are still trying on a daily basis to be the next Kenny Omega. They're trying so hard."

Three-Count: Looking Ahead

AEW Dynamite (October 2, TNT)

Cody Rhodes vs. Sammy Guevara: Cody is one of the biggest stars in wrestling. If he doesn't beat Guevara, an athletic high-spot artist with a relatively low national profile, I'll be shocked.

The Young Bucks and Kenny Omega vs. Chris Jericho and two mystery partners: The Elite had an excellent six-man tag match at Fyter Fest against the Lucha Brothers and Laredo Kid. While the match itself will no doubt be fantastic, the air of mystery here recalls the spirit of the Monday Night Wars. Who will be in Jericho's corner? We'll have to wait and see.

Nyla Rose vs. Riho (AEW Women's Championship): The AEW executive team has high hopes for the women's division. While there has been some solid action so far, nothing has truly stood out—in part because the AEW cards have been filled with incredible matches and spectacles. Perhaps this will be the bout that makes the world take note?

#the young bucks #nick jackson #matt jackson #kenny omega #all elite wrestling #aew #aew on tnt #article #bleacher report #posted on: 9.26.19

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bbclesmis · 5 years

Audio

Exclusive Track & Interview: 28 Days Later composer John Murphy’s “Les Misérables”

Check out this exclusive premiere of John Murphy's "Les Misérables" from the BBC/PBS's Masterpiece Les Misérables now. This version is very close to Victor Hugo's original novel, and hence is not a musical. The soundtrack will be available May 3.' Murphy also dishes on the challenges of scoring such a huge, epic, and sweeping story (and a lot more) in the interview below.

Exclusive premiere: John Murphy's "Les Misérables" from Masterpiece's Les Misérables Lakeshore Records is set to release the original soundtrack to the critically-acclaimed BBC/PBS Masterpiece mini-series Les Misérables, written by composer John Murphy (28 Days Later, Sunshine, Kick-Ass). Check out our interview with Murphy and the exclusive song directly below this article. Les Mis the album will be released digitally on May 3 with CD and vinyl versions forthcoming.

This Les Mis is NOT a musical; in fact, it is relatively faithful to the source novel. It premiered April 14 on PBS, but all episodes can be watched with PBS Passport.

Les Misérables is a six-part drama adaptation starring Dominic West (The Affair) as Jean Valjean, and David Oyelowo (Selma) as Javert in this landmark take on a classic, timeless, and sweeping story. They are joined by Lily Collins (Rules Don’t Apply), in the role of Fantine.

With a striking intensity and relevance to us today, Victor Hugo's novel is a testimony to the struggles of France’s underclass and how far they must go to survive. The six-part television adaptation of the renowned book vividly and faithfully brings to life the vibrant and engaging characters, the spectacular and authentic imagery and, above all, the incredible yet accessible story that was Hugo’s lifework.

The distinguished British cast includes Adeel Akhtar (The Night Manager) and Academy Award winner Olivia Colman (The Favourite) as Monsieur and Madame Thénardier, Ellie Bamber (Nocturnal Animals) as Cosette, Josh O'Connor (The Durrells in Corfu) as Marius and Erin Kellyman (Raised By Wolves) as Éponine.

Liverpool born John Murphy began scoring movies at the age of 25. In 2001, following the success of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, he moved to Los Angeles.

Since then he has worked with some of the industry's most respected and luminary filmmakers, including Danny Boyle, Guy Ritchie, Stephen Frears, Matthew Vaughn and Michael Mann, producing film scores as prominent and diverse as Sunshine, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Miami Vice, Snatch, Kick-Ass, and the seminal 28 Days Later.

Murphy's movie trailers include: Captain America: Winter Soldier, Gravity, X-Men: Origins, Cloverfield, War of the Worlds, Cowboys and Aliens, Blindness, Ex Machina, Southpaw, X-Men: Days of Future Past, and Avatar. His music has been featured in advertising campaigns for Nike, Audi, Microsoft, Louis Vuitton, Samsung, Google, and Apple.

After Kick-Ass, Murphy set up the record label Taped Noise and began work on several non-movie projects. BBC/PBS Masterpiece Theatre's Les Misérables is his latest project.

Les Misérables director Tom Shankland wanted John to tell a fresh musical story and to ultimately create a raw and uncompromising score to reflect the trials and misery of "Les Misérables." John describes the scoring process as an "experimental journey."

Initially, Tom wanted a gritty, folk-oriented score, but as they began the process, he and John quickly realized that the story would need a broader musical palette. John ended up incorporating less obvious elements such as bowed electric guitar, analog synths, experimental viola, and backwards loops, with a nod to the classic French romantic scoring of the '60s. Despite mixing instrumentation, the elements fused and the sensibility stayed true throughout.

John described the scoring process further:

"My original idea for the score to Les Mis was '1816 Velvet Underground meets '60s French film music.' While director Tom [Shankland] was thinking 'gnarly, down in the dirt, French folk music.' Producer Chris Carey suggested, 'let's do both, but throw in some vintage analog synths.' I then gleefully tried all of these elements, often at the same time. And we discovered that you can actually mix a hurdy gurdy with a Moog Sub Phatty, and we loved it. And what started out as a musical standoff, became our score for Les Misérables."

Interview: John Murphy

Hello John and welcome!

Hey Wess. Good to talk with you!

Likewise. To start things off, what attracted you to this telling of Les Mis as a project? I really appreciated how it was based on Hugo's novel, and not a musical. The novel, in my opinion, does not get enough praise.

Yeah, sadly the musical has pretty much hijacked this great novel. I read it in my early twenties. I was a session player back then and I spent a lot of time on tour buses, so I got through a lot of reading. Aside from all the ideas and themes, it's a great story – hope, despair, sacrifice, redemption, all the good stuff. I loved it.

I read it when I was in my twenties as well. Such a great novel.

So when the call came in, I did some Skype meetings with the director Tom Shankland and producer Chris Carey, and they were so passionate about it, and so hell-bent on going back to the source, the book I loved. I knew I had to do it.

That's fantastic. I was hoping we could get an idea of your overall creative process on the project. It really is very sweeping in the emotions of the story and the history it covers.

Well I've really only ever done movies so I knew the production process would be different. For example, before they started shooting I had to write a lot of the in-camera music they needed to shoot to; the scene with the band in the pimp's den, Cosette's piano pieces, Gavroche's song when he runs out to collect the bullets, that kind of thing.

Oh wow.

Which was cool because I'd never done that before. And then there was a big break while they filmed and put together the episodes. So rather than sit around and wait, I started sketching out themes and ideas from the script, which is actually way more creative than writing to picture. But having this pot of ideas was a life saver because, when the episodes finally did come, they came thick and fast.

But the actual creative process wasn't too different from scoring a film. I always write the themes first, and I try to write them away from picture. And then I'll work to picture and write the featured cues, the montages, the chases, that kind of thing. And then you're down to the underscore cues and you're just connecting the dots really.

Interesting process John. What were the challenges like?

I think the biggest challenge was time. Even though I had ideas sketched out for most of the themes, there's only so much you can do until they give you locked picture. And when the final locked cuts started coming, I had about 20 days per episode from start to delivery. And this is when I would score everything in, write the underscore, record the soloists, and mix the tracks ready for the dub. There was usually about forty cues and forty minutes of music per episode. So there were a few long nights!

Were there huge differences between Les Mis as a project and working on your more conventional titles like 28 Days Later? You've scored quite a bit in the horror realm.

I've actually only scored a few horror films. They just tend to be the ones people remember!

[Laughs] good point. I was thinking just relative to other composers I've talked to…

Because of the musical, there's kind of a skewed perception of Les Miserables. But a lot of the book is actually very dark. And, for whatever reason, I find it much easier to work with darker material.

I find myself attracted to darker art as well; not just film.

For me, it's just a deeper well to draw from. So even though it's based upon an historic work I never felt like I was writing outside of my own instincts. At the end of the day, whatever the scale, it all comes down to ideas, story and characters.

Absolutely. Any memorable or funny moments that stick out from that behind the scenes process of scoring the series?

There were, but none I could mention! [Laughs]

[Laughs] fair enough. A question I ask most everybody: what scores and films have molded you most as an artist?

I think the first time I became aware that movies used music was in A Fistful of Dollars. I must have been six or seven and it was on TV one night. I remember thinking why is there music playing? Where is it coming from? After that I started listening for it when I watched movies. So, I think my love for [Ennio] Morricone started there. And after that it was the James Bond movies, and the great John Barry themes. Another film composer I love to this day. I was just a kid, but I remember getting hyped up whenever I heard that guitar riff. A few years later, when I started to play a few things, I discovered Bernard Herrmann.

Psycho always stands out for me when I think of a great score. It may be cliché to say but it is true.

I couldn't fathom how he could make music that was so dark and so beautiful at the same time. I'd never heard anything like it and it blew me away. It was like magic.

So, those three made more of an impression on me than any specific movies. Thinking about it now it's probably why I'm so theme-heavy today. Because those guys definitely knew how to write a theme.

That they did. One other big question which is sort of related, what makes a great score?

That's such a difficult question and I don't think there's a definitive answer. But if it truly moves you and takes you somewhere else, then it's doing something right.

Well said. Last, what's next for you?

Well, Les Mis was like doing six movies back to back, so I won't be jumping into another big project just yet! I'm going to mess around with one of my own projects for a few months and then see what's around. Maybe a cool little indie where I get to play everything myself!

https://www.thefourohfive.com/film/article/exclusive-track-interview-28-days-later-composer-john-murphy-s-les-miserables-155

#les mis bbc #bbc les mis #soundtrack #audio #Interviews #john murphy

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someobscurereference · 5 years

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EXTREMELY EXCITED to see you, a favorite writer, getting into MAG, a fave podcast. IT'S SO GOOD!!! It's only more fun from where you're at. If you're inclined, pls share any of your thoughts re: best character, favorite moments, spooky moment etc

I’m really loving The Magnus Archives!! My favorite genre has first and foremost always been horror! And I’m so very picky! But I really, really love TMA! Usually I don’t even like eldritch type horror, but the writing in TMA is so spectacular and well done that I’m 100% in it to win it here. I listened to like 80 episodes in like 4 days, and now I’m on episode 85. I’ve significantly slowed down due to being busy and wanting to Concentrate on the episodes when I listen, so I try to only listen when I cook or do mindless things (which I can’t do during homework and I’m getting ready to move so I’ve thrown out most of my food, which is why I’ve slowed down a lot). But I’m still really enjoying it! I know generally where it’s going? I see spoilers a lot, so I know who Peter is even though I haven’t actually met him in the podcast outside of statements yet, for example. And I know a general outline of other things that happen, but not a ton in detail. I’m getting there, but I’m not up to date just yet! So take my answers so far with a grain of “not caught up” salt!

Favorite character probably has to be Martin atm. I saw a lot of him before I started the podcast and so developed a bias early on. The weird thing is, I keep expecting him to be like?? Softer and more lenient than he is in canon? Maybe bc of art I saw and how people describe him early on. But just because he often offers tea to Jon and wants everyone to stop being mean doesn’t mean he’s quiet and subservient and has no backbone either! He really has a spine! He’s snappy and sarcastic and holds grudges! He’s extremely petty and capable of being rude sometimes! Just because he wants everything to be peaceful doesn’t mean he’s always sweet and kind, and I really like that. (I hear rumblings about what he’s been up to recently, and I am Worried But Trusting in his decisions). So I like Martin a lot!

Jon has the best voice and I love that he’s usually the narrator. I don’t always agree with his actions, but man, is he good to listen to.

Favorite Spooky Moment is really hard!! There are so many, and they are so very good!! Maybe my favorite episode so far is “A Guest For Mr. Spider”? I really liked the formatting of that. I think I’m going to hear lines from that book in Jon’s voice in my head for a long time. The title alone really gets me. That said, I recently had a conversation with some friends about zip-lining and cave diving and stuff, and I kept flashing back to the episodes about the sisters who get trapped in the cave and also the skydiver who got eaten by the sky. So those have really stuck with me too! I think some of these episodes are gonna sneak up on me in the future when I’m not expecting it.

Oh! And the finale of Season 1 too! I love episodes that are multiple POVs of the same event! Especially in a horror context!

There are so many characters in this podcast that I have some difficulty keeping up with all of them in the statements sometimes. Like, I kept hearing about Peter and it took way too long to realize the Peter I saw whispers about in posts and was Captain Peter who we had already met through statements (though I have not officially heard his voice or anything just yet). Also I kept conflating Mike and Michael for a hot minute there. Those are dumb mistakes to make, but I’m working on it! Speeding through the eps and not sparing the time to really Sit Down and Think about it probably didn’t help, haha. I’m clearing it all up now! I should probably stop looking at posts that involve stuff I haven’t gotten to yet. That would help.

The writing in TMA is so good and distinct that idk if I could ever write fic for it? But I’m very tempted. Definitely not a possibility at least until I catch up though. But I have a lot of feelings about Martin and his canonical unrequieted (for now? idk, it is a tragedy podcast) feelings @ Jon. Also a lot of feelings about the Web, though I wanna learn way more first.

tl;dr I keep listening to Nobody by Mitsuki and thinking about Martin as I do my homework. And I love horror!!!

#my text #asks #tma #thanks for the ask :D #i love tma so far

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were-cheetah-stiles · 7 years

Text

The Summer Fling (Chapter 6) - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “John F. Kennedy International Airport”

Relationship: Dylan O’Brien x Reader/OFC

Author’s Note: Welp, it’s 4:47am, and this will post at 10, my dedication to you people borders on lunacy. I hope you like it. I’m sorry if it’s not my best, I am tired.

Summary: Dylan picks Y/n up from the airport after her trip to visit family for the Fourth of July and deepens their connection and trust.

Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven

Dylan O'Brien: You come home tomorrow morning..... :)

You: omg... i do?!

Dylan O'Brien: haha shut up.

Dylan O'Brien : Um, did you have plans for tomorrow when you get home?

You: i land at 6pm and i was just going to take the airtran from JFK to Jamaica and I was going to take the subway from there, why?

Dylan O'Brien: Do you have any interest in seeing Spiderman?

You: tomorrow?

Dylan O'Brien: Yeah, if I came out and picked you up from the airport, would you be in the mood to see the movie with me that night?

You: you're gonna drive all the way out from the Montauk to Brooklyn to get me from the airport to then see a two hour movie and then drive three hours back to the Hamptons and not fall asleep and crash and die....

Dylan O'Brien: Well when you put it that way... Yeah, I still want to see you.

Dylan O'Brien: And I want to see Spiderman :)

You: :)

You: well, i want to see you, so if you really want to do all of that, then yea. I'll see Spiderman with you tomorrow night.

Dylan O'Brien: i'll see you at JFK at 6. text me when you land and send me your flight info?

You: okay. goodnight, Dyl.

Dylan O'Brien: Sweet dreams, Y/n. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

Dylan sat in Julia's car, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and jiggling his leg, idling in the cellphone lot, staring at his phone, mentally trying to will it to light up. You had landed ten minutes before and said you would be quick once you got off the plane since you knew JFK so well. Dylan couldn't take the anticipation anymore. He had too many thoughts running through his head. Do I kiss her? Do I get out and help her with her bags? Of course you get out and help her with her bags. Don't be a dick. Then maybe you kiss her. Jesus fucking christ I want to kiss her again.Oh my god, I want a cigarette so badly right now. He got out of the car and paced next to it, until his phone vibrated in his hand.

Y/n Y/L/N: just walked past baggage claim. i'll meet you in the center pick up lane towards the end. there are always less people towards the end.

Dylan jumped back into the car and took off, going a little faster than he should through the winding airport roads. He saw you standing exactly where you said you would and he pulled the car up. Your face lit up with a smile as you saw the now familiar vehicle, and Dylan walk out and towards the back to meet you.

"Hi. How was your flight?" Dylan asked, pulling your duffel bag off your shoulder and tossing it into the trunk, as you did the same with your backpack.

"Good. Short. How was the drive out here?"

Dylan closed the trunk and stared down at you, smiling and laughing nervously. "Good... Long... But worth it."

You thought for a second that he might lean down and try to kiss you again but the entire moment was ruined by the sound of the guy trying to get his minivan out from behind Julia's car laying on his horn. You whipped your head around as the deafening honking continued and your inner New Yorker came out. "WE GET IT, ASSHOLE! Enough!"

Dylan laughed and stared at the guy in the car gesticulating unkind things with his hands at you. "Okay, maybe we should just go."

"So chicken soup dumplings, huh? Am I going to hate this?" Dylan stared at the menu in front of him and then glanced up at you.

You smirked, reached across the table, pulled the menu out of his hands, placed it on top of yours and handed it to the waiter with a kind smile. "You're going to love it. We're going to do one chicken, one pork, and one Singapore mei fun with no shrimp... and extra chicken?" You glanced at Dylan and smiled. The waiter nodded, and walked away. "So I may have watched something that you were in on the plane home." You admitted, returning your full attention to Dylan.

"Oh fuck, don't tell me this. I've been living in blissful denial thinking that you hadn't seen any of my stuff. What'd you watch...?" Dylan squinted at you, half-faking physical pain over the conversation.

"Deepwater Horizon... but if it makes you feel any better, I didn't watch it for you."

Dylan started to snicker and furrowed his brow. "What do you mean? Who'd you watch it for?"

"Gina Rodriguez, obviously." You grinned, and Dylan laughed loudly.

"Oh! Obviously!" He mocked you, still laughing, holding his hand against his stomach as his giggles filled the small restaurant.

"I don't understand why you're laughing. She is the fucking greatest. Jane The Virgin is the best show on TV." You teased him.

Dylan threw his hands up in the air. "Okay, Teen Wolf and I will just go fuck ourselves." He joked, leaning his elbows against the table, and smiling at you.

"But really, does she just like, smell incredible and also just exude Latina goddess vibes all the time or just some of the time?" You smirked, leaning forward towards him.

Dylan shook his head and laughed. "Oh shut up."

You let him off the hook finally. "Okay, okay. In actuality, I mean, I do love Gina Rodriguez, but you were pretty spectacular in it, and the movie was really well done. I sort of cried a little at the end when you were with your family again at the hotel, and then Mark Wahlberg's character just collapses on the floor of his room with his family and they all cry. The whole thing was just a tragedy, but you all did it justice, I think.." You explained your feelings on the movie.

Dylan stared down at the food on the table in front of the two of you, and watched you smile at the waiter, silently thanking him. He was feeling bashful. It didn't matter how many movies or shows he'd make, he assumed that he would never really get comfortable receiving praise, especially from people who he knew well. "Well, thanks. That's a good review. You know, the coolest thing about that shoot was that I got to learn about this whole industry that I just knew nothing about previously. Those guys have incredibly difficult and dangerous and physically exhausting jobs, and they taught us a lot of the stuff that they do, and it was really humbling to spend time with those guys; the real guys, I mean." You wanted to respond to Dylan but you had stuffed a soup dumpling in your mouth and you couldn't chew fast enough. Dylan took a bite of one of the chicken ones, and then took the opportunity to change the subject. "Okay, you were right, these are amazing. Holy shit." He stuffed the rest in his mouth.

You covered your mouth as you laughed, trying to make sure no food shot out across the table at him. "I told you I wouldn't steer you wrong."

"So I have a confession to make too." Dylan said, after swallowing his food and taking a sip of his root beer.

"Oh?" You smirked at him. He was so handsome. He nodded, and pushed up the sleeves of his deep red plaid shirt, then moved his hands to readjust his baseball cap on his head. He always wore one in public because he didn't want to be recognized, but you always thought it was funny that he did it in Queens since literally no one ever really bothers celebrities when they see them out in Manhattan, let alone in Flushing.

"I may have bought HBO and watched two episodes of the second season of Game of Thrones while you were in Kansas." Dylan sheepishly smiled, and then broke out into full on laughter as your face devolved from shock into fake anger.

"How could you?" You brought your hand up to your chest, and pretended to be disgusted with him.

"Listen, it rained one of the days you were gone and I was so bored and I also really wanted to know what happened to Arya once Ned died, but I literally couldn't watch more than two because I felt so guilty watching without you!" He admitted.

You laughed. "It's okay, it's okay. I'll let it slide this one time." You smiled up from behind your chopsticks.

"Um.." Dylan rubbed the scruff on his chin, and struggled with getting his sentence out. "Were you planning on coming back out East this weekend?" He asked, quickly placing another soup dumpling in his mouth out of nervousness.

You grinned and nodded. "I was thinking about it but the weather is supposed to be kind of shitty, so that stinks."

"Well, if you came, and it rained, maybe we could finish the second season together...?" He proposed, and you nodded with a smirk.

"Just admit it, O'Brien. I got you hooked, and now I'm going to be stuck watching Game of Thrones with you for the rest of the summer." You pointed your chopsticks at him in a playful manner, as you teased him; going out on a limb by implying that he might want to spend the rest of the summer hanging out with you.

"Oh, as if you have anything better to do than watch Game of Thrones with me this summer." Dylan poked fun right back, but didn't dispute your comment about spending the summer with him. He reached down and shoved another chicken-stuffed soup dumpling in his mouth, his cheeks puffing out as he chewed.

You stabbed around the pork dumpling on your plate and thought about how to approach a topic that you had been wanting to talk to him about. "What are your plans for this summer?" You asked somewhat trepidatiously.

"What do you mean?" Dylan mumbled in between bites.

"I don't mean to pry, I know we've only hung out a few times, but why are you here for so long? Don't you have jobs or, like, auditions or movies you want to make or something?"

"You mean, why am I not in LA with all of my friends, instead of hiding out at my sister's beachhouse with her college friends?" Dylan rubbed his fingers through his scruff, scratching for an itch that did not exist. You had made him uncomfortable; that much you had figured out. You had picked up on his social cues pretty quickly, and the face touching meant nervous or uneasy. "Honestly?" Dylan looked up at you, and contorted his lips to the side. "Did Julia tell you anything about why I'm here?"

You nodded slowly. "At Boardy Barn, the first day I met you, she told me you had just gone through a break up." You thought you knew the details: him and Britt Robertson had dated for six years, on and off, and you assumed it just wasn't working out anymore.

Dylan laughed uncomfortably, and pushed his fingers from his beard, up into his hair, slowly dropping his hand back to massage the back of his neck. He stared down at his plate, as his elbow was still connected to the edge of the table. He glanced up at you from under his long, thick brown eyelashes. "Of course she told you. She is the worst with secrets."

"She didn't tell me anymore than that, and you don't have to either.. if you don't want." You leaned back against your chair, and folded your hands in your lap, resting them on the top of your napkin. You felt both bad for making him talk about this, and also hopeful that he would, as you were incredibly curious about what his status was. You were extra curious tonight since you still weren't positive whether or not this particular dinner and a movie was a date or not.

"No, no, it's okay. Honestly, Jules told me a little about your boyfriend from BC, so I think you'll probably get what I went throu-"

"She cheated on you?" You interrupted Dylan, suddenly leaning forward, your heart racing over the thought.

Dylan nodded slowly. "Do you know who KJ Apa is?" You shook your head. "Have you heard of that new show, Riverdale?"

"Oh yea, it's like the new craze. Is he in it?" You asked.

Dylan nodded. "He plays Archie."

The image of who he was talking about suddenly became very clear in your mind. You could see his fire-cone orange, poorly dyed hair on the promo shots you had seen in the subway, in your head. "I know who you're talking about."

Dylan sighed and went back to rubbing the stubble on his face, staring down at your hands, one rested against your chin, and the other in the crease of your arm. He liked your hands ever since he got to hold them and feel them against his skin. Just the sight of them was something nice to distract him from the distressing topic. "Well Britt, my ex, and KJ did a movie called A Dog's Purpose together in August of 2015, and they played a couple and I guess they hooked up on set a few times, but nothing came of it. I was filming season five of Teen Wolf at the time, and yea.. I don't know. So then they spent all of this time together again promoting the film before it came out, and they started a relationship. A friend of mine accidentally found out, and uh, Britt was sort of forced to tell me or have me find out from my friend, so she told me, and we broke up."

"When did you find out?" You asked, trying to ignore the sickly feeling in your stomach, as Dylan's story brought back painful memories for you as well.

"February." He replied.

You wondered if four months was enough time for him to start to get over someone that he dated for years. You doubted it, and the pit in your stomach grew larger and more uneasy. "I'm sorry. I do get what you went through, and it's horrible. It's one thing to be broken up with and hurt, it's a whole other thing to be betrayed." You shook your head and stared at the small candle flickering in the middle of the table. "Wait, isn't Riverdale based on Archie's Comics, meaning, that they will probably be at ComicCon?"

Dylan nodded slowly, a serious look resting on his normally jovial face. "Yep. I am not going to be sticking around there much that day. I just don't need that kind of bullshit in my life, you know?"

"Fuck. I don't blame you. I am so sorry, that is all just fucking awful."

Dylan pursed his lips together, and readjusted his hat back over his head. He glanced up and noticed that you were staring down at the table in between the two of you. He could tell that he had bummed you out. "It's okay. The first month sucked, but then I flew out to South Africa in March to finish filming for the last Maze Runner movie, and being around my friends and being somewhere new. It was all really helpful, so when filming was wrapping up at the end of May, I decided I didn't want to go back to Los Angeles, and Jules said I could stay with her in Montauk. That was starting to get a little boring and I was thinking about heading back to L.A., even if I did run the risk of running into one of them, but then I decided to stay." Dylan said, glancing at you from under his eyelashes, the slightest hint of a smile resting on his pink lips.

"Why's that?" You asked, oblivious that he was flirting with you.

Dylan laughed softly, that smile that shot you right through the heart every time you saw it, came back to his face finally. "Well, my sister introduced me to her friend from college, and that girl has turned out to be really smart and funny and sweet and she keeps sending me new music to listen to and new shows to watch and keeps trying to drag my ass out into the ocean to go surfing with her, and basically, in two weeks time, she has made this a fantastic summer and I've been the happiest I've been in a really long time." Dylan leaned forward on the table and lightly pressed his fingers against the back of your arm, and your heart began to race.

You rolled your lips back into your mouth, wetting them against your tongue, as you tried not to grin too hard. Your gaze went from Dylan's hand, softly caressing your skin, up to his caramel colored eyes. "Well, she sounds pretty fucking great to me, and definitely someone you should go surfing with."

Dylan laughed, and shook his head. "I have a feeling that she'll wear me down and get me back on a surfboard before the end of the summer."

"A girl can dream, right?" You smirked.

"I love the recliners. This has made my movie going experience so much more expensive and I don't even care because I love it so much. It's the ultimate in laziness." You slowly moved your hands away from each other, in front of you, as you uttered the word 'laziness'. You snickered, grinned and turned to look at Dylan as you finished speaking.

Dylan laughed and shook his head at you. "Next they're going to put full on beds in theaters and then you can pay fourteen dollars just to fall asleep halfway through the movie outside of your own home."

You laughed at Dylan's joke and adjusted in your seat to face him more. "That would be amazing, don't even joke... But in actuality though, you know what kind of sucks about these kinds of seats?" Dylan raised his eyes eyebrows and watched you look around at the seats. "You know when we were teenagers and like you brought the person you liked to the movies and, in the fancy ones at least, the armrest went up and the guy could do like the 'yawn and stretch'? Like, teenagers can't do that crap with these sorts of seats because the armrests don't go up."

"What are you talking about?" Dylan chuckled and shook his head at you.

"OH COME ON! You said a little loudly over the commercials playing on the screen before the trailers started. "You know what I'm talking about... The 'yawn and stretch'... the thing where the guy pretends to yawn and stretch and he actually puts hi-"

"Oh..." A mischievous smile broke out across Dylan's scruffy face, as he suddenly yanked at the armrest divider in between their seats, pulling it up and moving it out of the way. "...you mean this yawn..." Dylan faked a huge and obnoxiously adorable yawn, his fist pressed up against his precious turned up nose. "and stretch move?" He finished his sentence as he stretched out his arms above his head and brought his right arm down on the back of your shoulders.

You blushed furiously, but cozied up closer to him before looking up at him and cracking one final joke. "Ew. Gross.. You have cooties." You said in your best silly adolescent-mocking tone, a smirk resting on your mouth.

Dylan laughed and adjusted his baseball cap with his left hand. You could tell he was nervous. You sat in an awkward silence for a few short moments before Dylan finally spoke up again. "I'm really glad I came all the way out here for this... to hang out with you... and give you my cooties."

You threw your head back against his arm and laughed loudly. He made you feel better about your lame joke, and about your intimate pose. You rotated onto your side more and bent your knees so that they were touching his right leg and Dylan reached his left hand down, and pulled your left hand off of your lap. You watched his eyes watching his hand intertwine its fingers with yours and finally rest on his stomach. His thumb gently rubbed the back of your thumb and you rolled your lips into your mouth in an effort to not attack him with a kiss.

You finally built up the courage to speak again, feeling like hours had passed by but you had barely gotten through the Pepsi commercial that was playing on the screen, so really it had been a total of fourteen seconds or so. Your smile softened and you slowly met his gaze. "I'm really glad you came out to hang out with me too.. and that the 'yawn and stretch' still works out pretty well.."

Dylan squeezed your hand a little and you nuzzled into his side more comfortably. He pressed his tongue between his lips gently and gulped softly. "Is it cheesy if I ask if I can I kiss you again?"

Your heart practically leapt out of your chest and your soft smile widened into a full on, blinding beam of pearly white teeth. That was all you wanted to hear from him. Those kisses from the night of Julia's party were all you could think ever since they happened. You slowly nodded and watched as Dylan turned his head to the side, vigilant to not bump you in the head with the bill of his hat, and connected his lips with yours. It was a soft and sweet kiss at first. One that ended with the feeling of Dylan's smile pressed against your mouth. You reached your right hand back towards your shoulder and connected it with his right hand. You quietly breathed each other in for a few seconds.

Dylan straightened himself out and pressed his lips against yours again. Your bottom lip was tenderly pulled between his lips and you broke your left hand away from his and pulled it up to grip around the back of his neck as the kisses grew in passion and intensity. Dylan's newly free left hand snaked across his body and hooked behind the bend of your leg, pulling you slightly on top of him.

"Welcome to Regal Entertainment.... Refreshments are available in the lobby..." A booming voice startled the both of you out of your embrace, as you realized that the lights had dimmed, the advertisement for the company that owned the theater began to play, and the trailers were about to start.

Dylan watched as you pressed your slightly swollen lips together, the corners curved up into a smirk, and you dropped your hands back to your lap. He smiled back at you and leaned forward to leave a quick kiss on your cheek. You giggled just loud enough for him to hear and he swore he felt butterflies fill his chest. He kneaded his large thumb into the side of your knee and you snaked your hands over his left arm, gently brushing the thick brown hair on his arms with your fingers. You relaxed your head against his shoulder and chest and he relaxed his head on top of yours. This was bliss.

"Are you a talker during movies?" Dylan whispered down to you.

You leaned off of his body, looked up at him and contorted your face in a wishy-washy manner. "Sort of? Sometimes? It depends. Small commenter, maybe."

Dylan grinned. "Good. Me too. Now get back over here, you small commenter. I wanna see what movie I'm going to take you to see next." With that comment, and the trailer for Dunkirk beginning to play, you leaned up and pecked him on the lips.

"This one." You pointed at the screen blatantly.

"Hell yes. I love Harry Styles." Dylan joked and you laughed and shook your head against his shoulder.

Dylan's smile spread from ear to ear and caused his eyes to slightly shut as his high and prominent cheekbones involuntarily shut his bottom lids up towards his top lids. He couldn't help but smile that big. You were holding his hand, dragging him through the crowds exiting the theater, and excitedly chattering about Spiderman. It was the cutest thing he had ever laid his eyes on.

"SUIT LADY! How fucking funny was the suit lady bit? When she was like 'activating instant kill mode' and Peter was like 'hold up, suit lady say whaaaaat?' and oh my god the scene where he's like swinging through the rooftops and he sees the guys at the halal cart and the guy on the ground is like 'do a flip, Spiderman!' and he's like, 'dope, totally.' and does it. Oh god. I loved like every second of that movie, and oh my god Michael Keaton was amazing! How insane is it that you got to work with him. Like, holy shit." She turned back to look at him as they walked back to the subway, still hand-in-hand, and realized that she had been incessantly chattering for at least five minutes without hearing him say a word. She had annoyed him into a walking coma. "Sorry... I kind of..."

"You liked it?" Dylan asked with a smirk, as you both descended the steps into the subway.

You furrowed your brows into a fake-pained smile and laughed. "YES! Oh god. I'm the worst. I really did love it. I am such a nerd. You weren't supposed to find that out yet, and I have just been rambling, and okay. I'm stopping. Shutting up now. What did YOU think?" You leaned against one of the steel support beams on the platform as you waited for the train to get to the station, and you watched as Dylan smiled and leaned forward towards you.

Suddenly, his hands were dipping underneath your y/h/c hair, his thumbs pressing against your jawline, and his lips were crashing into yours again. You brought your hands up to wrap around his muscular wrists and you leaned into the kiss. He finally broke away, but left his hands where they had been. He sighed.

"I think I was worried that you were going to think I was a huge comic book and Spiderman geek, but your 'small comments' were like, 'I wonder if Donald Glover is supposed to be Miles Morales' uncle' and 'I love how Peter has his own Jarvis' and it suddenly became one of the best times I've ever had watching a Marvel movie with someone else. You really are a huge nerd." Dylan grinned down at you and you blushed.

You leaned up, standing on your tip-toes, and pulling at his wrists, and pecked him on the lips. You heard the train come screeching to a halt and the two of you sat down on the periwinkle blue seats, your hands still connected. "Okay, so you liked my comments, but did you actually like the movie?" You asked him again.

Dylan nodded enthusiastically. "I fucking loved it. I was so glad that they didn't do another origin story again and that the cast was so young and diverse and Mike was so badass as Vulture." Dylan shifted in place, catching your attention. "You know, my biggest dream, besides become a Met, was to play Peter Parker. Like, I was Peter growing up, you know? I was this kid from New York City, who lived in an apartment and didn't come from a lot of money and was socially awkward and loved the Mets and.. also just wanted to be Spiderman.. He was my hero growing up." Dylan laughed to himself and shook his head. "And part of me was really upset that I missed out on this role, but also, like, Tom was perfect. He was such a great Peter, and honestly, he's the right age and I can't do all of those backflips and stuff - I'd break my neck or something. So, I was worried that I would be a little jealous, honestly.." Dylan made eye contact with you, and his voice got a little high when he said 'honestly', but it returned to his normal pitch immediately after. "... but I actually just fucking loved it from start to finish. I can't wait to tell Michael what I thought when I see him after comic con."

You and Dylan emerged from underground and he walked you back to your apartment building. You lived on the fourth floor in a two bedroom with your older sister and her fiancé, in a nicer part of Kew Gardens, Queens. Dylan leaned against the passenger side door of Julia's car, his hands wrapped around your waist, smiling down at you. The warm early July breeze whipped a few stray strands of your hair in front of your face, and you brought your hand up to push them aside. You then reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone. It was midnight.

"Dylan, wait, I.. I can’t let you go back to Montauk tonight. You probably won't get home until at least four, and I don't want you to f... I would feel awful if you came all the way out here to pick me up from the airport, just for you to drive home and like, die in a firey car crash because you fell asleep on the Long Island Expressway at three in the morning."

"I'll be fine. I'm not even that tired." Dylan said, regardless of the fact that he had been yawning on the subway.

You shook your head, smiled and pulled on his arms. "Nope. I cannot have your fans coming after me when you die because I let you drive home this late. You're staying here tonight."

Dylan stifled a yawn. He was tired. "You don't have to, Y/n."

"Come on." You jiggled around in your pocket for your keys, one hand on the cold and jagged metal, the other placed in his behind you. You weren't hearing protests from him, but you were still a little nervous because of his silence. You paused and looked behind you. "Only if you want to, of course."

"I am kind of tired..." Dylan smiled softly, and you had to actively think about keeping your knees from buckling at the sight.

"Is that really what you sleep in though?" You asked as you walked back into your bedroom in a tank top and polkadot pajama shorts. Dylan was sitting with his back against your wooden frame headboard, in his white t-shirt and jeans, he had only taken off his plaid shirt, hat and shoes. "You would sleep in jeans? Really?" You smirked, as you milled about your room, picking the clothes off the floor, wishing you had straightened up earlier in the week like you had planned to but never got around to.

Dylan glanced down at his denim pants and raised his eyebrows. "Okay, no, of course not, but..."

"Don't worry about. Just, get comfortable." You turned around to put clothes in your drawers, and out of the corner of your eye, in the reflection of your mirror, you saw Dylan get up, pull his socks and jeans off and get under the sheets on your queen sized bed.

You turned around after a few more seconds, and smiled at him, then turned off the light. "You have HBO here?" He asked, and you grinned and nodded. "Wanna watch an episode?"

You laughed, and handed him the remote from your bedside table, then got under the covers next to him. "Sure. Just hit that colorful button in the middle.. yea.. there." You directed him on how to get HBO to work on your Samsung SmartTV.

The theme music to Thrones began playing softly in the background and you yawned, causing your nose to crinkle and Dylan to smile at the cute new habit he noticed. "Um, you could come over here if you wanted.." He offered, laying his arm against the headboard, on top of the pillow in between the two of you.

You smiled up at him, scooted your body across the mattress and waited for him to lay down a little further on the bed and extend his arm for your to snuggle against. You rested your head against the soft fabric on his chest and your left hand gently kneaded his right shoulder. He rubbed his right hand up and down the peach fuzz on your left forearm, and wrapped his left hand around your back and side. This was not how he was expecting his night to end, but at that point in time, Dylan didn't want any of the rest of his summer to end any other way anymore. He was developing feelings and trust and a natural comfortability with you that he wasn't sure he'd feel again after Britt. He had been especially certain that he wouldn't feel that again so soon, but there it was, butterflies, happiness, and a permanent smile because he really liked you.

Dylan leaned over and whispered in your ear. "Thank you for letting me stay tonight. I really didn't want this night to end, and I'm glad it hasn't yet." He was met with silence. Dylan pursed his lips, and leaned his head down towards the right side of his chest to peek at you. You were fast asleep, breathing softly against his chest. Dylan snickered quietly to himself. "So fucking cute."

He decided to finish the episode without you, with only twenty minutes left, and then go to sleep himself. He gently pulled you against him a little tighter, taking advantage of the fact that he didn't have to feel self-conscious about whether or not you still wanted to snuggle with him, because you were asleep. He brought his right hand up, and began very softly running his long fingers through your hair. You barely stirred; you were a very sound sleeper. Dylan yawned and felt his eyes becoming heavy. He did his best to reach down by his leg to get the remote to turn the TV off, without waking you, and suddenly the room went dark. He couldn't see you anymore but he did like that he could still feel your warm breath against his shirt and he could still smell the soft scent of your vanilla-scented shampoo and conditioner. He fell asleep with a content smile on his face and his crush in his arms.

Dylan rubbed at his eyes, and then looked around the room. It was gray and cloudy, but still bright enough out for him to see that you were no where to be found. He glanced around and noticed your phone was gone from your night stand too. "The fuck..?" He contorted his mouth, as he swung his legs around the side of the mattress. "This is a reversal. They don't usually sneak out of their own house. Aren't I supposed to be the one who sneaks out? Damnit."

"Were you trying to sneak out?"

Dylan turned around to face the bedroom door and saw a very drenched you, standing in the doorway in jeans and a soaking wet sweatshirt, with coffee and a white paper bag in your hands. He smiled, and then stood up next to the bed. "No, but I kind of thought you had for a second."

"I did sneak out, technically, but just to get us breakfast and not wake you up." You smiled and lifted the items in your hands, before approaching the bed and placed them at the foot. "I didn't know what you liked so I got a plain bagel with cream cheese, a plain bagel with cream cheese toasted, a bacon egg and cheese on a plain bagel and a sausage, egg and cheese, but that's mine."

Dylan grabbed the bagel with the bacon, eggs and cheese out of the bag, and a coffee from the cardboard carrier and smiled at you. "Thank you..." He placed a peck on your cheek, and his nose brushed your wet hair. "Okay, you need to change into something dry and get back under the covers with me so I can warm you back up."

You grinned and pressed your hand against his taut stomach. "Well, I'm not going to argue with that offer. I'll be right back." You pressed a soft and short kiss against his lips, turned to grab some clean clothes and ran to the bathroom to change. When you walked back in, Dylan was lying under your sheets again, with the food and drinks resting on his bedside table. "Do you want to watch an episode or two of Thrones and then head out east?" You proposed.

"Can we watch more at my house until I have to pick Jules up from the train station?" Dylan asked, remembering it was Friday and Julia was coming out from the city that night. You agreed happily and the two of you dug into your breakfasts.

"God, I fucking, like I know everything that happens, and I still HATE Joffrey. He's such a little psycho." You mumbled, while watching the fourth episode of the second season of Game of Thrones, and snuggling back up to Dylan's chest; much more awake than the night before.

Dylan chuckled and continued watching his thumb rubbing the back of your hand, instead of what Joffrey was doing to Sansa on the screen in front of him. "Would it be weird, or like too soon, if I told you that I really like you?" Dylan blurted out, no longer able to keep his feelings inside.

You shot your head up from the TV screen, to look at him, completely shocked by his question. Your smile went from stunned to huge and happy. You shook your head, and broke your hand from his to massage your fingers into his scruffy beard. "Not too soon because I really like you too." You admitted.

"Okay, well that is good because then I can do more of this and not worry about whether you're just being nice to me or not." Dylan reached his free hand up to your chin and pressed his supple lips against yours.

You spent the rest of the episode kissing innocently, your limbs rapped up together, until the end theme played.

Let me know what you think, but do not come at me with complaints about Britt. I just, it was only for the fic. I don’t, just, okay?

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