one thing about horror podcasts is there will be canned peaches
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I think horror podcasts should make cassette tapes of their shows.
Just the thought of pretending to put some "random" cassette into a seemingly old cassette player and listening to the horrors unfold is something I crave.
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My podcast blorbos
Can you guess who is who? All is revealed below…
In order of when I listened, going left to right and starting in the upper left corner:
Juno Steel // The Penumbra Podcast
Prince Rupert // The Two Princes
Jonathan Sims // The Magnus Archives
Arthur Lester // Malevolent
Gordon Porlock // Red Valley
Ryan Dalias // EOS 10
Samir // CARAVAN
Doug Eiffel // Wolf 359
Mike Walters // WOE.BEGONE
Nate // The Cellar Letters
Nico Salvai // VALENCE
Samson // Harbor
Aurora // Rifted
Mark Bryant // The Bright Sessions
Graham Casner // The White Vault
Orion Lancaster // Find Us Alive
I could’ve added more but I needed that perfect square. But also if you have any podcast recs, lmk!
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do not call for me 🦷 i won't hear you
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How to recognize you're in a horror story:
Check the vicinity for cans of peaches. If you find one, run
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Sexiest Podcast Character — Scripted Bracket — Round 1
Propaganda
Dragana Vukovic (The White Vault):
God I don't know what to say other than she's an icon. Badass mountain climber adventurer who knows how to fly a helicopter. True ride or die friend.
Elias Bouchard (The Magnus Archives):
look look i know he's the resident asshole everyone hates but listen this motherfucker has the sexiest voice i have ever heard in my entire life (goddAMN BEN MEREDITH'S VOICE) you cannot say that his voice isn't smooth as fuckin butter. the smug asshole. every fanart of him ever portrays him as the cookie cutter tumblr sexyman okay he is THE MAGNUS SEXYMAN. also possessed by a dead guy and served as an avatar of an eldritch horror beyond our comprehension?? sign me the FUCK UP. did i mention he's voiced by BEN FUCKING MEREDITH? IT'S THE VOICE, MAN, JUST LISTEN TO SASSY BRITISH SON OF A BITCH ELIAS BOUCHARD SPEAK. that's IT
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Dreamers, fear the strangers in your midst. Travel is not advised. Alas, it was to none but me, ah, but I call it love. This is Spines. Note to future Nyx. There is a curse upon my every waking breath, and I cannot escape the darkness. A god must feed. A god must be fed. Why are there no stars? I call the only road's end, the last gasp of light's breath. Good night, Night Vale, statement ends.
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Forrmynður
More under cut. Potential spoilers.
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i love when narrators forcibly enter the story as a plot-influencing character. i love how the story ascribes a physical manifestation to the narrative to the point that it is personified completely. i love how the lens by which we view the story is shattered by introducing a person with flaws and logical fallacies and causes us to wonder if perhaps they were unreliable all along, to consider how much of the story could have been changed through their eyes. i love when the narrator, who used to be completely in control of the narrative they told, has that safety ripped out of their hands by an outer force that positions them as the one to be consumed. i love when the line between the watcher and the watched is blurred to the point that we can no longer see who's truly telling the story
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