#ive been on the phone for 1 hour 20 minutes and everything is going to be ok | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

joviepog · 10 months

Text

Puddle of tears

Where you and wilbur cry and sing the songs you made together after both of your horrid breakups. Finally reuniting.

(Part two of Jovie’s series, “Click”.)

—ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-

Part 1 — Part 3

Warnings: cursing, angst, mention of depression, sad, signs mental abuse, signs of manipulation.

Pronouns: She / They

Who: Wilbur soot x reader

Word count: 2014 words!

Tag list: No one

Anything else: So, ive been having hard times irl and i think this was a great way for me to express them in a way you guys will love. I started writing this right after i made the first one because this was the part i was most excited to write. I put a couple of songs in there to give you the aesthetic but by all means you do not have to listen to them. They are just what i thought the mood was in that period of time. Though i do recommend to listen to the second song (at least the beginning) because that is the song they sing together. Like always, I’ve gotten almost no sleep s please excuse any errors.

This story was NOT proofread.

Listen to this as you read!

—ᱬ—

You sat on you bed, snuggled up in some blankets. You were reading, trying to get your mind off of anything and everything. Wilbur was sitting on the opposite side of your bed, sitting with his knees to his chest. He was scrolling through his phone. His eyes seemed wary and his eye bags only made them look worse. One of his arms were hugging his leg while the other held his phone.

You could only guess you looked worse. You haven’t slept in days. You haven’t showered in a good while and all you’ve eaten are a couple of ramen noodles that you got from the nearest store. You’ve been in your pajamas for days, only changing them every 4 days. You’ve barely been drinking any water and you’ve only brushed your teeth 4 times in the last 6 days. The only thing keeping your breath from smelling of garbage are a couple of packets of gum that you have lying around your flat. Your eyes were red and puffy from all the crying sessions you had the night before.

You were lucky that wilbur was even dealing with you. You felt so lucky to have your friend with you again. The fact he even drove 20 minutes away just to be with you every day is absolutely bewildering. You reunited with him the day you got broken up with. You remember it clear as day.

You had gotten a text from Josh. Someone you haven’t heard from in ages. You where in the middle of making yourself some ramen when you checked your phone. You remember feeling scared. Like he was going to yell at you for not talking to him for so long. For leaving soothouse randomly. For yelling at him the day he asked what was wrong. You where so scared. You left the text message alone for hours. Till you finally opened it up around 10 pm. Your eyes widened when you read it.

He wasn’t yelling at you, he wasn’t asking you questions, he wasn’t even talking about you. The text message was small and clear, “Wilbur got his heartbroken by some girl who used him to travel the world. I think he needs help, he’s struggling but he wont talk to any of us. He trusts you. Can you talk to him?” He was talking about wilbur. The one person you didn’t dare talk to. The one person, that you were really, really scared to talk to. You didn’t have it in you to comfort anyone. You needed to be comforted by someone…

And yet, you found yourself calling Wilbur. The first call was a let down, and yet you knew it was going to happen. You heard the phone ring and ring until it went to voicemail. You were going to give up. You really were. But something told you to try again. ‘Just one last time’

You clicked the call button once again. Expecting it to ring out. But after one ring the phone was picked up. You stayed silent, unable to speak, scared. There was a small sniffle from the other side. And you couldn’t help but sniffle back. You two sat in silence for a moment, only the sounds of soft sniffles coming through. But, when you were ready to hang up, to curse at yourself for even trying; you heard four words over the phone.

“Can I come over?” There was a silence once again. The voice was groggy, it sounded as if it was forced out. You could tell he had been crying. You wanted to cry too… “Yeah…” was all you could manage to get out. You hadn’t told anyone about the breakup. But your ex probably told everyone. Wilbur was probably one of the first people he told. He was so obsessed with wilbur, you hated him so much for it.

—ᱬ—ᱬ—ᱬ—

“YOU WERE TALKING TO WILBUR AGAIN?!? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO?” He yelled out, pointing at the door from where you and wilbur once stood. “UGH. HE WAS PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH HE WANTED YOU! CAN’T YOU TELL HOW IN LOVE HE IS? HE WANTS TO STEAL YOU AWAY. FROM ME! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT YN?” He turned toward you, his eyes flaming, “YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST TO MAKE HIM HAPPY, I’LL TELL HIM WHEN WE BREAK UP. SO HE HAS SOME SORT OF FUCKING CHANCE WITH YOU.SO THAT HE CAN FINALLY LIVE OUT HIS SHITTY FANTASY.”

This caught your attention. Tears started to form, “You- You think we are going to break up one day?” Your voice was meek, unable to bring to many words out. Tears started to flow from your face as you looked up at him from where you were seated. His gaze softened a bit, (which now that you think back on it he might have thought he had gotten caught) and worry covered his face.

“If.” He paused, “If it happens. I don’t think it will. But if it does it will be the first thing I do.” He kneeled to where you were sitting and cupped you face in his hands. With his thumb he rubbed your tears away. “See what he caused baby? He wants this to happen.” He paused as he leaned his forehead on yours, “stop talking to him baby, then none of this will ever happen again.”

You nodded, scared of what he would do if you said no. He smiled at you and pulled away from your face. He gave you a soft kiss before walking away, not looking back. Once you made sure that he left you cried. You cried so hard. Later that day he made sure you wouldn’t talk to wilbur at all. Your surprised he even let you keep his contact.

—ᱬ—ᱬ—ᱬ—

Once wilbur got there he knocked slowly. That doesn’t matter though. Because by the first knock you where already there to open the door. You opened the door quickly. It had been over a year that you hadn’t seen him. Your eyes widened when you saw him. The moment you laid eyes on him tears started to form. And by the time you took a few steps to hug him, you were already crying. Your tears soaking his sweater. He hugged you back and started to cry too. He buried his face in your hair as he did.

It was a beautiful moment. You felt so lost without him. And now that you two were together you felt complete. Like you finally gained back your missing piece. You two kept crying in each others arms. You didn’t want to let go. You wouldn’t let go. It was this beautiful, sad reunion that must have been so awkward for your neighbors.

And now, as you sat here in a comfortable silence with wilbur you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of both happiness and sadness. Wilbur was going through the same thing you were going through. He felt like someone you could really just… relax with. In these days of misery you and wilbur have made some stupid breakup songs. You both memories them by now but you stopped singing them about a week ago. You think you guys just kind of gave up. On everything. You guys barely talk on a daily. You guys just sit in a comfortable silence.

Suddenly you find yourself standing up and walking towards your cupboard, pulling out a new set of pajamas.

“What are you doing?” Asked wilbur as he looked up from his phone. “I’m going to take a shower and brush my teeth. I feel disgusting. Maybe getting myself together again will help?” I say, more of a question than a statement. He nods a yes and looks back at his phone. You sigh and walk away, cursing at yourself for even getting up. You already regretted your decision and you weren’t even to the restroom yet. You arrived to the restroom and opened the door, you walk in and lock the door behind you. You let out a sigh once again. You set your cloths aside as you turn on your shower. You quickly get your toothbrush out and you start brushing your teeth, waiting for the water to heat up. Once your done brushing your teeth and you see the mirrors start to fog up you undres and get in the shower. The hot water relaxing your body. You let out one last sigh. Letting the water calm your body for a bit more. But after a few seconds you get to work. You scrubbed your hair and your body like there was no tomorrow. And once you felt clean, you tuned off the water and grabbed the towel. You dried your body then you wrapped you hair in the towel. You stepped out of your shower and put on some lotion and cloths. You felt like a whole new person. You felt refreshed, you were surprised you even made it out of the bed.

Anyway, once you got back into the room with wilbur he had a guitar in hand. He smiled at you and you smiled back. You plopped yourself on the bed next to him. You saw as his fingers moved too were they need to go next. “Are you willing to sing a bit?” He says with a smile, it seems forced, but you nodd.

—ᱬ—

Listen to this for the next part:

—ᱬ—

“He never had cool stories. He doesn't make your heart beat.Used to love his mystery. But now he's just exhausting. Another day spent just laying in his room. The stench of incense. And some undelivered food.” You forced a smile as you heard him play. This was your song. The one that hurt you the most. Nevertheless, he continued.

“And she thought. ‘What if he thinks I'm the one?’” You sang that part with him. The memories rushing back. You felt a lump in your throat form as the two fo you continued.

“And I'll be forced to rot away, with him and his obsessions, with trivial things. Like the amount of fucking love hearts I finish a text message with.” You laughed a bit at the end, thinking about how much he cared about stupid little things. The lump I your throat grew bigger and you cursed at yourself upon how just one song could get you so emotional.

“And when you hold his hands…” Then it was your turn, “ It doesn't feel like flying.”

“And when you take his breath away…” he looked at you with a small smirk as you sang, “he might as well be dying.”

“And you're dying to breathe, You're trapped in his cage.” He paused for a moment as he looked at you, his face now covered with worry and sadness, “And its shrinking.

“And she thought, ‘What if he just never leaves?Or if he doesn't get the message?And he doesn't hear my please?‘“ You started to tear up, all the pain, and all the depression, and all the feelings came back. You felt it all. Like you were expierenceing it all over again. You looked down as you continued singing, you could already feel his nervous gaze. But once again, he proceeded.

“So she just started screaming… Why can’t he just bore me to death.” A reference to some old text with wilbur. You started to feel your pajamas becoming wet. Wilbur paused, looking at you and putting your hand on your shoulder. “YN..”

You shook your head, tears still flowing down your face. “Keep singing. It’s alright.” He sat in silence for another moment before singing another song. One of his songs. You leaned on his shoulder and you started to cry on it. You could hear his voice starting to sound choppy as well but he persisted. As you cried you found yourself drifting to sleep. His voice calming you as he went. Even if it was choppy because of his tears. You still loved it.

And soon, you found yourself asleep. Lying in a puddle of tears.

Yeah like i said before this was really nice to write. Also im working on being able to use links right so it should be up on my pinned soon.

45 notes · View notes

onekisstotakewithme · 5 months

Text

2023 Fic Masterlist

Happy New Year! It was my first full year of writing "The West Wing" fanfic and I loved every minute of it. Aaron Sorkin's work has me by the throat... so behold: the fic round-up for the year.

Works in Progress (WIPs)

An Idea, Whose Time has Come (3/20 chapters posted) - "Could always run for President." It’s been twenty years since CJ Cregg joined Jed Bartlet’s campaign, and with another election looming, Danny makes a suggestion: CJ should run for President. So she does. And on the campaign trail, along with a new staff, a hostile incumbent, and a familiar rival candidate, CJ also has to grapple with the legacy and impact of her twenty years in public service – good, bad, and ugly – while preparing for the most important election of her career. CJ/Danny, presidential campaign shenanigans. also side Josh/Donna, Will/Kate, lots of original characters. Some smut. 14k so far. (A present for my dear friend miabicicletta 💜)

CJ/Danny

None of Us are More Than Caretakers (12 chapters) - “The president’s dead.” Three weeks before Inauguration, things appear to be running smoothly. Transition is going (mostly) well, Kazakhstan is (mostly) stable, and CJ is (mostly) happy with how things are going with Danny. Everything is taken care of. And then former president Gerald Ford dies. Set between "The Last Hurrah" and "Institutional Memory". 66k.

Off the Record (22 chapters) - “And this… thing… would be…?” “Off the record.” (Or, one missing scene per episode). Season 1 missing scenes. 31k.

A Night to Watch - “So how does it feel, watching yourself become unemployed in real time?” Tag to Election Day Parts I & II. 6k.

Fallout - It’s only been a few hours, but already the dinner with Danny feels like it was an entire lifetime ago. Tag to "Duck and Cover." 3.1k.

our secret moments (in a crowded room) - Secret Dating. Tag to "Drought Conditions". Written for the twwpress Wheel of Destiny 500 word Drabble Challenge. 500 words.

The Fall - “What do you want, Danny?” “Saw you on C-SPAN this morning, Sundance. Wanted to see how you were handling the rise to power.” “You mean you wanted to see if the fall killed me.” Tag to "Liftoff." Butch & Sundance Part II. 2.6k

You're Gonna Die Bloody (and All You Can Do is Choose Where) - The hearings will turn over every rock in her life, every email, every phone call – and of course they’ll see Danny’s name – but she can’t drag him down any further. Tag to "The Ticket", "The Mommy Problem", "Mr. Frost"/"Here Today". Butch & Sundance Part III. 2.7k

Fight or Give - Glory days are over. Nothing left but the ending – nothing left but the fall. Tag to "Internal Displacement", "Requiem", "Institutional Memory". Butch & Sundance Part IV. 2k.

The Goal for Which We Long - And then she notices the note left in the middle of her desk. Not a note, really, but one of the dignitary bingo cards she’d passed out – the one she’d given Josh by the looks of it – with the middle row filled in. She wonders why Josh would leave it there, before noticing the handwriting along the top. Tag to "The Wedding". 5k.

Other/Gen

The Day on Which They Shall Give Their Votes - Election Day, 1998. As the votes come in, the staff of Bartlet for America waits with one question in mind: Who will be the next President? Pre-Canon. Gen. 3.3k.

When it Rains, it Pours - Or, what happens in the motel after they get out of the rain? Well, wet clothing mostly. Josh/Donna. Tag to "20 Hours in America" Parts I and II. Written for the "Woulda Coulda Shoulda: a Fest to Get Josh and Donna Together" challenge. 2.6k.

Two for the Road - “It was a tough race.” “They’re all tough races.” Or, doing the same thing multiple time and expecting different results (1992-2018). CJ & Toby friendship fic. Gen. 5.3k.

#the west wing #tww #cj x danny #josh x donna #cj cregg #danny concannon #and the whole cast and crew.#PLUS one more that i will be sharing tomorrow... written for an anonymous holiday exchange ;)

7 notes · View notes

zombieweek-g · 10 months

Text

thinking about ultraman blazar ep 1 in a non insane way

ok ive had like 20 hours to ruminate on the ep now and I think it's probably my favorite first ep of an ultra show i've seen so far. (though ive only seen the new gen shows and nexus so that could change when i eventually get to some of the showa stuff)

a lot of what I loved so much about it just had to do with how sort of sudden it felt? Like comparing it to the first eps of the last 3 shows it kind of didn't do any major worldbuilding at all for the new setting. It established the presence of kaiju and of a military response, then established that ultraman has been an urban legend for a few years but thats it. There's no time given to further exploring anything that couldn't be established with a few off hand comments about the situation.

I think the msot interesting part of the ep was actually just how it was so, straightforward? Like it feels like the events of the ep are happening in the same 25 minutes that the actual runtime takes, everything happens so quickly and at once that it makes it feel far more like an event we're seeing from a vouyeristic perspective. We're not getting any more than 2 perspectives either. It cuts between Gento and Nagura but thats it, it strictly stays between the perspective of the 2 skard members and never breaks that except to return to the members of Gento's team. for their reactions to what's happening.

I think the highlight of the ep was the actual fight itself though, completely putting aside that it takes up almost half of the ep's run time it feels like there's so much more going on than just being a fight. The character's reactions to it feel a lot more like, genuine compared to how first ultra appearences usually go. Like all the members of Gento's team jsut look baffled at what's happening, and the entire first half of the fight feels especially vouyeristic thanks to some of the angles used.

almost the entire firs half of the fight before the cm break is filmed form this specific angle, with any zoom in shots being from the same general perspective, and making the camera a lot more shaky, giving it the feeling of a video shakily recorded on someone's phone as they try to capture the absurdity of what's happening.

The 2nd half of the fight goes in for a lot more closeups and wide shots that leave this perspective but for it to have lingered here for so long just made the scale of the fight feel so much more real in the moment and on rewatches. Like in general I feel like this is the first time I've seen an ep that captured the absurdity of an ultra fight sow ell. It feels unreal in such an incredible way to see this fight unfold, and I mean that in the ebst way possible.

Im realizing just as I write this that the entire sequence feels sorta dreamlike, which is just reinforced by gento's moments of lucidity jsut before and after the fight where he seems to be recognizing himself as Blazar, only to presumably lose consciousness during the fight itself.

There's so much about this ep that just does like, nothing to explain the world, but I think that's one of the ebst parts. This whole ep felt like you were getting to peer into a random half hour in this setting, and by the end of the ep i had so many more questions about what was happening than I did going in. I can totally see why they would have shown ep 2 at all their pre release events instead of this one, since it feels so much mroe like an extended teaser of what's to come in the ebst possible way.

anyways tldr blazar is good as hell and I can't wait for next week

1 note · View note

yourmidnightlover · 3 years

Note

comfort blurb request??? maybe Spencer is just taking the absolute most care for you and making sure you’re okay after a hard case

cw: case mentions, mention of abusive and neglectful parents, unsub dies, crying, kind of a breakdown by the reader, spencer being a very nice little bean. *please let me know if ive missed anything*

a/n: so this turned out far longer than i anticipated but i love it nonetheless. thank you for the request, love <3

you were attached.

you couldn’t help it either.

spencer could tell

as you looked at the unsub from around the corner with a sense of sympathy, he recognized a part of himself on similar cases. when an unsub was schizophrenic, or when an unsub had been bullied, or when they had a drug problem that had been forced on them.

but for you, he couldn’t tell why you sympathized with this unsub. they’ve worked cases with unsubs just like this one - while all unsubs are different, their backgrounds tend to meld together on occasion.

in this situation it was abusive parents that would neglect them, no siblings, no grandparents or aunts or uncles to turn to… they were alone and were forced to cope with their own insanity. this unsub… he had nowhere to turn for his own depression and anxiety and he had to cope in some sort of way. he just chose to do that by killing.

now, on the jet ride back home, with 1 hour left, spencer walked over to sit beside you on the couch. for the duration of the ride, you hadn’t been talking. you hadn’t been reading. you were just sitting there in silence, clearly lost in your own thoughts.

the unsub had been shot. he was breaking down. he was going to shoot you. you would’ve let him. hotch took the shot that you couldn’t take. you were angry with him at first. you clutched his shirt in your hands, yet hotch didn’t care. he held onto your shoulders and looked at you with that same look of sympathy you had for the unsub. he hugged your shoulders as you cried into his vest.

“he didn’t deserve that!” you sobbed into his vest. “he just wanted to be okay…”

“i know,” hotch stroked your shoulders, soothing you until spencer walked over.

he took your hands from his shirt and wrapped them around spencer, knowing you’d want your best friend’s shoulder to cry on instead of your boss’s. spencer looked at hotch with a look of confusion, clearly not knowing why she was so upset.

“ask,” he informed spencer, patting his shoulder before walking away, leaving the two of you alone.

he practically carried you to the car. you were barely strong enough to keep yourself from tripping over your feet. spencer was your crutch, and that’s how he liked it. you had spent so long putting up this strong front for everyone, it only took one case for it to finally wear down the last of your walls.

“how about we have a sleepover when we get back?” spencer asked, finally breaking you from your trance as you turned to face him sitting beside you on the couch.

you didn’t say anything. you merely nodded and rested your head on his shoulder, trying to conceal the tears that had continued to flow from his gesture of kindness. he wrapped his arms around you and laid down on the couch, allowing you to rest on his chest for the duration of the ride. he knew you weren’t asleep. but perhaps a little piece of your mind was able to stop racing around because of his presence.

everyone saw it go down. but they didn’t say anything. it was obvious the two of you were closer than friends. the way you would put each other before anything, the way you would both simply look at each other. you always hung out after work when you were able to. you would have sleepovers with one another. you would do each other’s work. you would eat lunch together. you would get coffee together… you get the gist.

so seeing him comfort you so tenderly after the breakdown you had… it felt warm. although, derek didn’t hesitate snapping a picture of the way you cuddled into spencer’s chest, his eyes closed with content so he could send it to his babygirl later.

once you got off the jet, hotch dismissed everyone home for two days, something about getting some well needed rest and rehabilitation.

spencer began to drive your car to your place, thinking you’d want to be in the comfort of your own apartment. once you saw him make the turn towards your place rather than his own, you reached across the console and grasped his arm.

“what?” he asked with a questioning tone.

you shook your head, “i don’t wanna go to my place,” you continued to shake your head rapidly as he pulled the car over.

“hey, hey,” he placed his hand on the sides of your face to ground you. “we’ll go to mine, alright? whatever you need, we’ll get you,” you finally nodded your head before spencer reached over and kissed your forehead.

so, he took you to his apartment. he wanted you to feel safe, and if going to his place would provide that, then he would supply. he insisted on carrying your bags so you could walk on your own, so you did. but the second you were inside, he dropped the bags by the couch and wrapped you in his arms once more.

“go lie down on my bed, alright?” he whispered in your ear. “i’ll order us takeout and get you some tea. you get comfortable.”

you nodded and kissed the side of his neck before he released you, his hand lingering on your waist as you began walking down the hallway. his eyes lingered on your figure as you walked away, your arms wrapped around yourself as you entered his room.

he sighed before turning back to make your tea. perhaps chamomile would help you relax. he picked up the phone while the water was boiling and ordered you your favorite takeout. after the order was placed, he poured the boiling water into a mug with the tea bag and a dash of honey for sweetness.

“hey, bug,” he called as he entered the room. you were sitting on the edge of the bed, arms still wrapped around yourself in a self-soothing manner as he sat beside you. “here’s your tea, and the food should be here in around 20 more minutes.”

“okay,” you sighed as you took the cup from him, taking a sip. “thank you - for everything.”

“you don’t need to thank me,” he told you. “i’m happy to make sure my best friend knows she’s cared for.”

“no, i need to thank you,” you sniffled. “it’s not very often that i actually need to be taken care of, and i’m just not used to it. i’ve spent most of my life caring for myself and others and… and i really needed this - needed you,” you placed your free hand on top of his and gently squeezed it.

“i would take care of you forever,” he whispered, the look in his eyes telling you that he meant every word.

“i love you.”

you both said in unison.

spencer’s eyes searched yours for the same meaning his portrayed - yours secretly doing the same.

“i’m in love with you,” you sniffled. “i have been for a while,” you shrugged.

“i am too - in love with you,” he smiled. “i’m so in love with you it hurts. when i saw you crying, i… i wanted to take it all on myself. you don’t deserve to hurt. you’re the one person who actually cares about people and takes care of them with no expectations.”

“thank you,” you grinned. “i know you want to know why i was so upset tonight, but…”

“you don’t have to tell me anything if you aren’t ready,” his hand gently squeezed your thigh.

knock. knock. knock

spencer rose from his seat on the bed and retrieved the food. he returned to see you scooted up to one side of the bed - the side you always slept on during your sleepovers. your tea was sat down on the bedside table and your legs in criss-cross applesauce position.

“hey,” he knocked on the door so he wouldn’t startle you.

“hey,” you smiled as he climbed in bed beside you.

he began passing out the food, and you ate in silence. it was a comfortable silence, one that the two of you had become accustomed to. your arms would accidentally touch, causing the both of you to blush and smile like idiots at the other.

once you were finished, spencer cleaned up the food and you went to brush your teeth, him doing the same after you. upon his return, you were already in your night clothes - a large t-shirt and some shorts you’ve had for ages. your makeup was removed and your hair was in a messy bun at the bottom of your head.

“you’re beautiful,” spencer couldn’t help but speak as he went to change his clothes.

“so are you,” you spoke up quietly. “i don’t think people tell you that often enough.”

“i’m supposed to be taking care of you,” he chuckled as he grabbed a pair of old sweatpants to change into. he came back in an immediately cuddled up next to you in bed. “how do you wanna cuddle? or do you even want to cuddle?”

“is that even a question? of course i wanna cuddle,” you scoffed as you took his right arm and began snuggling with it, your fingers intertwined with his, your head rested on his chest as his free hand was tracing circles on your waist. “i love you so much, spencer.”

“i love you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your hairline.

“say it again, please,” he felt his skin begin to dampen where your eyes were.

“i love you,” he moved his free hand to stroke your hair.

“again, please,” you sniffled.

“i love you, y/n,” he whispered. “i love you so much,” he continued. “i love your kindness. i love your spirit. i love your generosity. i love your humility. i love everything about you. i will always love you,” pressing one more kiss to your forehead, he heard your steady breaths and knew you had finally fallen asleep.

and in that moment, with you clutching his arm as you snored softly, he knew that he’d never let you go.

38 notes · View notes

wizkiddx · 3 years

Text

worst case scenario part 3

umm so, never ever intended it to be this long but here we are. again this is v dark so please please read the warning!! also [and obvs] this is very medically inaccurate and just a work of my head aha

[part 1] [part 2]

warning: mentions of death / hospital / mentions of childhood abandonment too- please don't read if this could affect you <3

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

His heart was thundering in his chest, so much so it drowned out all other sounds making all the doctors words fade into the background. Conciously, he really was trying to listen to what the doctor was saying; consciously he knew she was trying to prepare him to see Y/n; consciously he knew she knew he wasn’t okay. But really? It didn’t matter, and as they drew closer to his fiancé Tom felt an urgent sense of relief purely know she was there. She was there and she wasn’t dead…yet.

Only two people were allowed to go up, just because the nature of the ward - everything was meticulously controlled, including the comings and goings of visitors. If you’ve never been in an ICU it’s a pretty hard environment to describe. Really, it’s just another hospital ward, with capacity of about 20 beds. Each bed has much more equipment surrounding that the average and a nurse is stationed per patient, monitoring every possible variable that the machienes are measuring, so any trend (either positive or negative) can be identified at the earliest point. Though in everyones head, it seems as though ICU is a common place ending up for some unfortunate sod when something bad happens, it’s actually really rare for someone to be so ill and dependant on medicine to maintain normal body functioning. Only the most severe trauma, infection of the most dangerous microorganism, surgery of such high stakes normally make an appearance on the ward. And ,on average, between 8-20% patients that are admitted to an ICU never make it out.

And those grim figures were unignorable to anyone. As soon as you walk through the doors, the atmosphere is intense and ineffable. It’s not spoken, but is so incredibly morbid it makes anyone shiver.

Dom felt this, squeezing his sons shoulder as he followed Tom and the doctor, just a pace or so behind them. Having offered to go with Tom, whilst Harrison took Nikki to see the baby, Dom was now feeling just as clueless as his son did. Except he was actually listening to what the doctor was trying to warn them about and it scared him. The three, made it to the door and with a swipe of her ID card the doctor admitted the Holland men in. Gratefully, none of the staff took any notice of who was walking in, they were much too busy for that - Dom was incredibly relieved, had someone recognised Tom when he was in this state, god knows what would’ve happened.

The doctors pace was with purpose, perhaps so that the two couldn’t spend too long ogling the other patients in the beds - who all looked almost unhuman with the amount of tubes and wires coming out and into them. But then, she slowed up, halting infront of a bay about 5 or 6 down the ward. Spinning on her heel and with a subtle nod to momentarily release the nurse from her post at Y/n’s bedside, to give them a bit of privacy, she looked at the two men.

“You can touch her, just be gentle with the wires.”

Shellshocked and terrified, Tom was frozen those 2 metres away from the bed barely able to see her face over all the equipment. Yet undoubtedly, it was his finance’s delicate visage lying on the white pillow, with a thick white mouthpiece and tube covering her mouth and stuffed into her nose. Not able to move, both Dom and Dr Goodwell sensitively waited - it was an adjustment to say the least, seeing someone you knew so well look so different. With quiet tears starting to roll down his eyes, Tom eventually started to inch toward the bedside, taking his time to try and absorb everything of this frankly ridiculous situation. He couldn’t get over how, even considering it all, above her nose it just looked like Y/n. Like she was asleep in their bed, eyes closed as if she had once again fallen asleep infront of a random Netflix movie Tom had bugged her enough to watch in bed. And it was, ever so slightly comforting. That was still her, that was still the love of his life lying there. And she was still alive - which given the last few hours, was enough.

Reaching the bedside, Tom naturally reached out and stroked the top of her head delicately, pulling into place a few rogue strands that seemed to have a mind of their own - she had always hated when her hair got frizzy. The picture had Tom’s mind casting back to their first holiday, a serene if quick few days in Fiji- though Y/n didnt know this , that holiday had been one of the most important times in their relationship for Tom. Until then, given the nature of his job, the couple had only ever managed brief periods together. They spent time together as and when they could in between Tom’s busy schedule but it was never as long as they’d like. Somehow though, he’d managed to squeeze a few days away to surprise Y/n with the trip.

It was everything he’d ever hoped it would be and more. In fact it was then Tom was oh so sure he would be spending the rest of his life with her. This thought crossed his mind on the last morning, when he had for once woken up before Y/n - her head mere cms away from his on the pillow. Just like now, her hair had been all over the place and her sparkling green eyes locked shut. Contrastingly though, in Fiji the sight had made him smile softly; now it just made him cry again.

“Would you like a minute alone Mr Holland? We will just wait outside?” Not even turning round to properly respond to the doctor, Tom just nodded violently, not taking his eyes off his fiancé - waiting till he heard his Dad and the doctor leave the bay; then the curtains be completely drawn to a close, before he shakily cleared his throat to whisper.

“Hey darling… you um-you’ve scared me shitless today… and… and I’m supposed to be the dramatic one in the relationship.” Chuckling wetly, Tom clasped his other hand in Y/n’s - still mindful of the IV port coming out of the top of her wrist. Not that he was expecting any sort of response, yet the lack of her squeezing his hand back still had his heart sink. “Look I…I love you so bloody much and I really need you to get better okay? You’ve never listened to me before but I really am begging you to now, I just.” Swallowing thickly, he shut his eyes momentarily and delicately rested his forehead on hers - his touch feather light. Just needing to feel her. “I just really need you and I really love you., okay?”

Unsurprisingly he didn’t get a response. The rhetorical question hung in the air alone, safe the mechanical whir of the ventilator and various chimes of the machines and monitor, till his Dad came in. Grasping and squeezing his shoulder lightly, Dom provided the stimulus for his son to unfold from over the bed, standing upright, as both men just took in the sight of Y/n lying there for a minute or two.

“I need her Dad. I-I-“

“I know Tom.” Speaking so quietly it was barely audible, Dom’s eventual agreement at what Tom was saying was in a way a relief. Haz and his mum had both either been saying or implying that they would be okay no matter what - which came from a good place but was so infuriating. Because god forbid, if this situation got worse Tom knew it wouldn’t be okay. Nothing would ever be okay again. So his Dad’s simple acknowledgment meant a lot, causing Tom to turn round and embrace his slightly shorter father.

Dr Goodwell silently watched the exchange for a short while and once the men eventually pulled away she stepped forward to give some more information. She went through what all the biggest and scary looking tubes and wires were doing for Y/n, before explaining the next steps.

“Now as I said before we are sedating her at the moment, while we wait and see if she gets any complications from the surgery that are better treated while she is asleep. By this afternoon we will have a clearer idea and by that point we may choose to withdraw that sedation. It’s important that you are aware though that she might not wakeup immediately. Sometimes some people that have suffered similarly to your fiancé will be unconscious for a while in what I’d presume you’ve heard of as a ‘coma’. Now it’s not as dramatic as you see on TV shows, it’s just Ms Y/l/n’s brain giving her body a chance to recover. It’s often a longer process, which I know is something you don’t want to hear, but I have to be honest.” The doctor was stern but in a softer and from-a-caring-place. “These patients are suggested to possibly recover quicker if they have a steady support network behind them, which it seems like she does. That means that you need to look after yourself so you can help her sir, especially in what could be a long process. It’s not going to be helpful for Yn if you’re killing yourself trying to be here all the time… It seems like Y/n already has quite a big group of you here for her, so please remember you’ve got all of her care team here and everyone else to help you too….Does that make sense sir?”

“Tom” His Dad, in a gentle but firm warning tone, urged Tom to speak and to listen. Properly listen.

“Yeh… I-yeh It’s just all a lot right now.”

“Of course… and we promise that if anything changes with her condition, you will be phoned straight away. You are welcome to stay as long as you want - the only rules are two at a time, no flowers, sign in and out and then sanitise your hands pretty excessively. If you need anything, Ms Y/l/n’s nurse will be your first port of call.”

“Thanks for everything” Dom nodded in a gracious manner, which the doctor seemed to massively appreciate - apparently, for the job they do not receiving a hell of a lot of thanks.

“I’ll pop back in a little bit.”

And for a couple of hours everything everything felt like a bit of an anticlimax, nothing happened, not a lot changed. Just Tom and Dom sat next to Y/n’s bed in silence; Harrison and Nikki downstairs with the baby, till Dom got a phone call from Nikki asking them to meet at the neonatal unit - which was limited by visitor numbers unlike the ICU. Thinking it’d be simple, the elder man gained Tom’s attention with a call of his name, explaining they should go down to meet up.

“I’m not going down there.”

“Son, I know you’re worried by Y/n isnt going anywhere right now. The doctors said they’d call you if anything happens.”

“It’s not-“ Tom stopped himself, biting his tongue and looking away from his Dad. “I just don’t want to go down there.” Slowly, Dom was more and more realising Tom’s thought process and honestly… it scared him. In the hopes this was just a big misunderstanding he offered a different option - hoping Tom would equally refuse that. Dom suggested going down to the cafe instead, which most unfortunately Tom agreed to. It wasn’t leaving Y/n that was the issue, it was being near the baby.

Tom’s daughter. Unnamed and apparently abondoned by both parents.

Anyhow, Dom resigned to playing into Tom’s choice, perhaps Nikki and Harrison would be able to swing him round, to see sense. It still took Tom getting the nurse to triple check they had his correct number on record , just in case, before Dom could tear him away from the bed. Fortunately the pair found a quiet and secluded corner table, where Tom was still yet to be recognised, while Nikki and Haz found them too.

What followed was Tom answering all his mum and Harrison’s questions about Y/n’s condition, in a blunt and emotionless manner - without Tom returning fire by asking any questions at all about his beautiful little baby girl. Eventually Nikki braved it, someone had to bring it up.

“Well it sounds like littles going to change for a while… maybe you should head home for a bit? You’ve been up half the night and you look shattered love. You don’t have to go back to yours… you could stay in your old room for a bit?” Tom being by himself at the moment sounded like the most incredibly stupid idea ever, Nikki was offering it as a choice - when in reality there was only one option.

“Maybe later this evening I will? Just don’t want to leave her alone yet.”

“It’s already 7 love, you’ve not eaten all day, you got to look after yourself too.” Harrison and Dom sat awkwardly while Nikki tried to delicately encourage Tom into what was the only sensible plan, watching him nurse the small hot choclate in both his palms. Time really had lost all meaning at this point, for him it felt both years since he’d first arrived with Y/n and at the same time barely 10 minutes ago. It felt weird.

“We can take shifts? If-if you want someone with her I mean… I don’t mind staying for a bit longer if it means you head back to your parents.” Harrison really truly didnt mind, in fact he sort of wanted to. He wanted to see Y/n’s face definitely alive, wanted to feel reassured by the monitors. Shockingly, Tom slowly nodded his head, surprising everyone with his lack of argument. None of them could work out whether it was a good thing him not putting up much arguement ; either he was heeding everyones advice of taking care of himself - or he had just given up. Harrison, as much as he didn’t want to, was favouring the latter.

“Okay” Nikki declared optimistically “So maybe you and Harrison go up so you can say good night to Y/n, then we can all go and pick up the baby?” She opened the plan to the floor, allowing for input but got nothing - except maybe Tom’s jaw unconsciously tensing uncomfortable at the latter part of her statement. Dom noticed.

Not one noticed but knew what it meant. His son blamed his granddaughter. His son, right now in that moment, hated the unnamed and totally helpless baby girl.

part 4?

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #dad!tom #tomholland #tom holland angst

137 notes · View notes

songofsaraneth · 3 years

Text

an incomplete list of the Bullshit ive gone through this year (2021 only), for personal edification:

I am in grad school trying to do research as well as TA a lab class during a global pandemic

My car is broken into in late February outside of my apartment. $1700+ of my backpacking/camping gear and personal items were stolen from it. Ironically they did not find the $20 cash I had.

Car battery begins mysterious dying if left overnight and have to call for rescue from AAA 4 separate times over the course of March. I suspect it is related to being broken into but can’t prove it without a mechanic’s diagnostics.

First mechanic I bring my car to does nothing for the entire MONTH they have it, except break my air conditioning of all things. I live in a desert. It is now 90º every day. At one point they call me to say they can’t get the back doors to open. I walk 2 miles back to them from campus and demonstrate how the automatic doors work on a 2005 minivan. I begin to have regrets about my mechanic choice but the sunk fallacy cost keeps me there for several weeks.

Mid march I also wake up one day to severe jaw pain/a weird “loose” feeling, like my mouth is slanting sideways. It is midterms and I do not have time for this, so I take a lot of ibuprofen and eat soup for a week. After 3 days I shove pillows and blankets around my face one night to keep my jaw aligned and when I wake up the next morning it is severely tight instead of loose, and I have to carefully stretch it open whenever I leave my mouth closed for more than an hour. I guess I just have TMJ now.

At this point I am walking everywhere until bike supplies arrive to fix my flat tire since the bike store is too far away to walk to; including walking back and forth to campus since I can only bring 2-4 out of 8 students into the lab spaces at a time and so effectively have to run each weekly lab 2-4 times per week; as well as going back and forth for greenhouse experiment monitoring/helping undergrads on our NASA contest project

Early April I go to the dentist for a crown on one of my back molars, which I must pay for out of pocket because my new dental insurance purchased when I moved last September has a 1-year waiting period and so will not cover it ($1200). Stretching my jaw open so far for the procedure reignites my new TMJ back to high pain levels.

While still waiting on car in mid-April I have a severe averse reaction to the second dose of the Covid19 vaccine, resulting in painful ulceration of all the soft tissues in my body (mouth, stomach, genitals). It is a very bad time for 3 days and I book an urgent care appointment for the first time ever.

Urgent Care nurse-practitioner does not believe me when I describe what’s happening, and misdiagnoses me with herpes.

I am still biking everywhere but now I’m extra mad and in pain about it so take car back from mechanic so I can get groceries etc. I make an appointment with the dealership but it will be a week until they can take it. In the meanwhile I have to drive it every 8 hours so it won’t die which means getting up at 2am to drive it for 20 minutes in the middle of the night so it will still turn on in the morning.

I have a terrible reaction to the numbing cream given to me for the painful open sores over my body, because of a lifelong mint sensitivity, resulting in an even greater amount of pain

The dealership can fix my car over the following week but its $1800 and now insurance isn’t sure they want to cover it after all

Herpes test comes back negative and nurse apologizes profusely and recommends a non-mint OTC numbing cream alternative that works (yay) and a numbing spray that does not work because it turned out to use an alcohol based propellant which should not be combined with open wounds esp on the genitals (ouch ouch ouch). I try to tell the nurse why I was right about my diagnosis and she was wrong but she still believes it was a latent virus of some other variety and and not an immune response alone, despite the published case studies I have brought to back me up. I decide I have bigger hills I need to die on right now and stop arguing. Sores persist into May but eventually do go down and numbing cream keeps me moderately functioning.

Car is fixed and I can drive again but it takes 2 hours of crying on the phone to my insurance company for them to agree to cover the cost of repair

I make a primary care appointment for the first time in years so I can have a doctor in this state if something like this happens to me again, in June I do intake/bloodwork/set up appointments to check out some other issues ive been having

Grad school finals happen which i wont get into but Yeah. Finals stress triggers another outbreak of canker sores, but mostly clustered in my mouth and only 2 on my vulva rather than 8-12. I eat only soup for another week.

I get a referral to the local mental health clinic and call about setting up an appointment for an ADHD evaluation. They tell me to download and send in some paperwork and they will call when they have available appointments

I am supposed to be doing all my labwork over the summer but the committee member I need escapes my clutches and we don’t manage to set up a meeting to plan it out/for him to explain the protocols until late June

Bloodwork shows I am critically low in vitamin b12 and low in D, which may explain some of why I am so tired all the time

Ultrasound shows a 1.8cm mass in the adnexa near my left ovary. There are several options for what it can be (folicular cyst, other kind of cyst, tumor, ectopic pregnancy i nearly laugh at my Dr and reassure her the last one is not possible if nothing else). It may go away on its own or it may not. Follow up scan in 2 months

I remember I was supposed to email forms to the mental health clinic and finally send those in mid July. It seems cruel to make me be the one to remember this considering I am calling about a formal ADHD diagnosis.

I also finally pin everyone relating to my labwork down and have a follow up meeting + make a list of what we need to order, but the staff who place orders are on vacation and when they get back several reagents are backordered

I have my follow-up ultrasound. The tech takes lots of photos which indicates the mass is still present, but I won’t know any details until my next PCP appointment when they send over the analysis to her in mid-August

Beginning of August the reagents I need for the first steps of the process arrive exactly 1 day before I leave town for a wedding and the lab manager is about to leave town for the entire next week

After the wedding, severe thunderstorms and tornados trap me in Chicago for 4 extra days. I spend a lot of time at the airport or on my way between the airport and my parents house. A facebook friend gets video of the funnel clouds which at least gives me something to sadly email my advisor and committee members when I have to join our planning meeting from my gate at O’Hare

I lose my drivers license at the security checkpoint on my last trip through the airport and don’t realize until I am boarding the plane because of course that is happening to me now

On the shuttle from El Paso back to Las Cruces after this ordeal the driver stops and picks up a box labeled HUMAN BLOOD and puts it in the trunk and i am too tired to care anymore

I stay up all night making the world’s most pitiful r graphs for my meeting the next morning and everyone takes pity on me and does not call out how useless they are

I spend the weekend trying to motivate myself to actually go into the lab and start my procedures, and fail to leave my apartment. This reminds me it has now been a month (Aug 15th) since I sent in my paperwork and the mental health clinic has still not called me back about up an appointment

I get overwhelmed with Everything and make this list

So that’s where I’m at at the moment. And this doesn’t even include anything from 2020 thats just been continuous like, y’know, a global pandemic and having a bad breakup of a 4 year relationship and moving to a new city where I know no one for grad school etc. I feel like I’m falling apart/unable to do all the shit I need to right now but you know what? Actually its been a really bad time and maybe falling apart a little is justified ;_;

#ramblings #wharglbargle #like Damn its been a Time and i need to cry about it i guess #negativity //

15 notes · View notes

imonthinice · 3 years

Text

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 9/?

Word Count: 1.7k

Author’s Note: Y/N- Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best Friend’s Name)

I am sorry. lmao.

Half of my links are glitched tf out fuck this shit, touched grass yesterday but that grind don’t fuckin stop babey

Warnings: Angst - Injury, Description of said injury, Mentions of Jason’s past, Swearing, Dark Themes, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Jason clutched his right side as he gasped for a long breath of the cold, rainy air surrounding him. Everything hurt and he could barely move enough to text Dick that he was down. He would hold and add pressure to the stab wound sitting directly on his waist, but he could feel the blood seeping through the gaps in his fingers as he held it. His hands were covered by the blood and he was losing it fast.

He wasn’t going to walk this off by any means, he was going to need Dick to go get him and bring him back to the hospital wing of the Batcave because he couldn’t move and he felt his eyes drooping as he waiting and tried to keep his breathing in check, while Dick was scrambling to go get him.

There would be a few questions he would have to answer to Y/N. Not even just Y/N, to Lian, his Goddaughter, who he was planning on seeing in the morning since Y/N was going to a dance competition, or at least he thought she was.

But in that moment, so many memories flew back into his head, the hopelessness as he sat there for a few seconds, bleeding out after the explosion that Joker had set off on him. And then the minutes in the Lazarus Pit as he drowned himself back to life, the water filling his lungs as he cried and screamed. But no one came.

This time, however, Dick came.

Dick swooped his baby brother up and onto his back and he tried to run to the Batmobile as fast as he could, knowing time was of the essence for saving Jason’s life. Jason had broke off from Dick for a few seconds before this moment, and it was the only thing Dick was worried about. That Dick had said to come back to him, alive.

In the car, Dick put his hands on Jason's gaping wound, trying to press his hands into it as well to slow the bleeding, the Batmobile had the ability to drive itself, and Dick thanked whatever God was watching that it did. Jason was struggling for breath at this moment, and Dick was terrified.

“You’re going to be oaky, Jase. I swear. Please. Don’t die on me, it feels like yesterday that I got you back,” he leaned into Jason’s face, “Not again, please,” Dick begged and begged as he rushed Jason to Alfred, who was waiting to operate on Jason.

--------------------------------------------

Y/N woke up as always, this time, without a text from Jason. She thought nothing of it, thinking he was safe in his house with his loving family. She went to go get coffee to kick start her day, and A/N wasn’t in the kitchen. She, still, thought nothing of it, since A/N’s lover was over the night before and she had to turn up her music to ignore the sounds coming from the other side of the house. She sent Jason a quick text,

Good morning, Jay. I hope you slept well.

And she returned to her room, coffee in hand, to write some quick little stories about what she had placed in her journal. Not many of the ideas in there were able to be built off of, but she still tried her best with every idea she had, to see if it could be something more.

It normally never was, but it was always something she craved. The ideas of writing a book always enticed her, but she never thought she was talented enough to do so.

She heard her roommate’s door open and then the front door as A/N waved off her lover. It was a quiet Saturday morning, and Y/N loved that as she dove further and further into her work, immersing herself in the story of two lovers who were destined to meet after one moved to the hometown of the other to pursue criminal psychology.

She couldn’t get her mind off of Jason. They hadn’t even known each other for a week but she knew he was worth her time. A few hours passed by from when she sent the first text.

---------------------------------------------

Dick held Jason’s hand as he was hooked up to many different machines, he could breathe on his own, but the IV and the blood bags were hard to keep Dick’s eyes off of. If only I had been watching a little closer, he thought.

Jason fumbled in his pain-induced sleep, moaning and groaning as he did so when he opened his eyes to find a worried, sleep-deprived and very rough-looking Dick at his bedside, to which, Dick collapsed on Jason in a hug.

“Thank God,” Dick breathed.

“What... what the fuck.... what the fuck happened?” Jason stuttered, like a blanket of sleep and drugs had limited his mobility and brain function.

“I don’t know, Jase. That’s what I was hoping you’d tell me, but then again, your blood alcohol level was suspicious.”

“I... I didn’t drink... drink that much.”

“No, you didn’t. But you did drink, who was with you?”

“I don’t... know.”

“I think you were roofied so they could get the upper hand on you. You almost died, Jase.”

“Come...c’mere,” Jason managed to say, and when Dick came to him, he moved on of his hands onto Dick’s cheek, “Big... big annoying... big little annoying brother.”

“Shhhhhh, little wing,” Dick comforted his little brother, “You weren’t supposed to grow that much taller than me,” he laughed, “Dickhead,” he laughed again, then sighed, and stepped back from Jason to pace back and forth, he was stressed, “I told Roy-”

“Will.”

“Will, sorry. I told Will that you won’t be able to see Lian today, he asked what happened, he might drop by.”

“He should... shouldn’t have to... see me this... this way,” Jason said, eyes pooling with tears, “No one... should.”

“Don’t know how we’re going to explain this to your little girlfriend.”

“Oh... Man... I like... I like her.”

“I know you do, and that’s an issue when you’re high as a kite in a hospital bed, bleeding out, Jase,” Dick tried to explain, “Especially when she doesn’t know you’re Red Hood, dumbass.”

“Oh,” he said.

“I know, Jase. If it was me and Barbara didn’t know, I wouldn’t know what to do,” he sighed, “Haven’t even met this girl,” he laughed.

“It’s... it’s only been... 5 days,” he stuttered.

“and 3 back-to-back, multiple hour, spanning days, worth of dates. You don’t do that with someone you don’t think should meet your family.”

“You’re... stubborn.”

“And you’re my brother. It doesn’t take blood to exhibit the same traits.”

“The meds... are... are wearing off.”

“Do you need more?”

“Not... yet,” he struggled with his words, “Phone?”

“I mean, yeah I can give you your phone,” Dick said as he went to go unplug and hand Jason his phone, realizing that Y/N had texted Jason he said, “Guess you have someone who wants to know where you are more than Will does.”

“Will cares,” Jason said as he took the phone and read Y/N’s text,

I guess it isn’t morning anymore, huh.

Well that’s on me for texting you at 6 in the morning after I know you’ve been working late.

And I’m going to see my Goddaughter today, so I’ve been sleeping in to preserve energy for her.

Can’t forget that she’s what, 1 year old? Girl must have a lot of energy.

Her name’s Lian, and yeah. She’s a ball of energy.

He said as Lian and her dad, Will, formerly known as Roy, walked into the hospital wing of the Batcave. The secret wasn’t hidden to the little girl yet because she couldn’t remember a lot. But, she sure did recognize her Uncle Jay when she screamed her name.

Will brought his daughter up and put her beside her Uncle, and she cuddled into him, he would hold her back.

“Hey... Will.”

“You look like shit, Jaybird.”

“I feel... feel like shit.”

“You’re also talking slow, bud.”

“Drugs... do that... Will.”

“At least you’re not dead, I have no idea how I’d cope or even explain that to Lian.”

“She... she has your... eyes.”

“She’s growing into my nose too.”

“Your nose... looks like shit... on your face.”

“Okay, dickhead. You’re bedridden but yeah, attack me like you used to, I’ll just pull the plug.”

“Lian... would hate you... you for that,” he groaned as he said it.

“Do you need more drugs? I can tell Dick,” Will asked.

“Yeah... I think-”

“Don’t worry about finishing that, Jaybird. I got you.”

------------------------------------------------------

The wet ground surrounding the house Y/N lived in was a representation of what she considered, the bad things, washing away from her life as she got to know Jason more. She wished they could talk more that day, but she did not want to take away time from him and his Goddaughter. Family matters a lot to Y/N, so a thought like that just seemed selfish for her to think when she knew that little girl needed him.

She didn’t think he got injured or anything from the Office, it was a safer place than the fuckin Wayne Manor hallways. She texted Artemis,

So, you’re Wally’s girlfriend, and Wally is Dick’s best friend? Am I hearing you right?

That’s basically the intertwine we have here, yes.

So once you’re in this family, you’re IN, huh?

Nervous?

Not a chance.

The thrill of flipping off pap hasn’t left you yet?

Does everyone know about that? And yes, it’s still massively fun to do.

Wally says Dick is the only one who doesn’t think its that funny.

Lame.

C’mon now, that’s my best friend, but yeah, that’s pretty fucking lame.

You’re the fun best friend, then. You see the fun in making a fool of the pap.

You know it.

Artemis knew of what happened on patrol between Jason and his unknown attacker. Dick had told Artemis to distract Y/N from wondering why Jason seemed drunk, if he seemed drunk. The extents they went to to hide the fact that they were the vigilantes protecting the city, they didn’t know if she was going to be able to keep the secret.

Jason would talk to her after that message,

That storm last night was terrible.

I wish that we were together when it happened. I hate lightning.

Well, you were in Cali.

Did I not tell you? My competition was cancelled because the entire country is fucked with weather.

Oh. That sucks.

Do you want to spend the night here?

---------------------------------------

Do you want to spend the night here?

Jason stared at that text for a while. He did, he wanted to spend the night with her, but he was in pain, hooked to machines, with obvious wounds and bandages. He couldn’t spend the night with her.

I can’t. I’m in Metropolis with Will and Lian. Can we reschedule?

Of course we can. As long as you make sure we actually get to spend the night together.

He asked Dick in that moment, “How... how long... long til I heal?”

“Depends. You’ll be okay-ish in 5 days, but in 7-10 we have to take out your stitches if you’ve been taking care of them,” he said.

“That... that long? Damn.”

36 notes · View notes

aquarianlights · 3 years

Text

I am in a serious financial bind. 😥 If anyone is in a position to listen & help or signal boost, pls keep reading...

This is from my apartment complex. I am in low-income housing. I called them & sent them proof I could pay on the 23rd. I told them I could (just barely) put 100 down now & they said that was too little.

They said they would file for eviction on the 16th, which adds $150 to my rent. They will cancel the court date and eviction on the 23rd when I pay.

But that doesn't cancel the $150 filing fee.

Idk where that $150 would come from. Idky they think it's fair that someone who cannot pay should be forced to pay even more??? That makes no sense. I can only just barely afford my rent every month as is.

These are from my energy company. I apparently owe them over $600. I genuinely do not know how this happened. We were on the phone for a very long time trying to figure it out & I was in tears for the latter portion of it because I swear I paid.

I usually keep record of my payments via taking a picture of my receipt since they are electronic, but my dog chewed up my phone (which I have pics of if need be for evidence) and broke it, so I had to get a replacement phone sent to me from the insurance company & nothing transferred from the old phone, so all my pics were wiped.

I found no record in my emails, either.

The meds I am taking to try to go into remission and the autoimmune disease itself both cause brain fog and issues with time warping, so it is possible maybe I skipped a month or something, but I highly doubt I would have skipped up to 600+ dollars worth of payments.

I have tons of electronic and hard copy calendars & they are all synced and constantly updated so that I know when payments are due. I also have text and email reminders sent to me, but I could find no reminders in my email for MONTHS now until they were telling me they were going to shut my power off if I didn't pay this. Idk why I was not sent reminders for months???

In the end, I agreed to set up a payment plan. Paying, like... 50-60ish on top of whatever my electric bill is every month for 12 months. It was the lowest they could go.

I can barely afford my electric bill as it is, so idk how I will be able to do this? They did give me a list of charities in my area so I will be using what little energy I have to call around & see if any of them would be willing to help me pay this. Idk how those work (they're mostly churches???), so I'm just gonna try & see what happens. 🤔

On top of all that, I *think* this is telling me my Medicaid has been cancelled but I'm not 100% sure?????

I'm going through treatment for a very serious, disabling problem that should last ~1 year and rn Medicaid is picking up what my Medicare doesn't cover and some of my doctors/specialists and treatments are medicaid only.

If I lose this, I'm basically done.

I know they'll do backpay if I get it back, but Idk if I *will* get it back. I'll be trying to get it back, but in the meantime, I guess I'll just have to pay out of pocket, idk??? Which I do not have.

I have lost almost ALL autonomy due to this autoimmune disease, which (in a very simplified form) is basically my immune cells "eating" my muscle tissue. I can barely get out of bed. Treatment should put me in remission & give me my life back. I am seeing a rheumatologist, neurologist, dermatologist, PCP, physical therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, and going to a holistic pain treatment center that does a different kind of physical therapy to bring down pain levels (which I was put into that program by my rheum). All of these are in relation to & necessary for my disease. I am going through TONS of testing almost weekly now & trying out treatments like IVIG and chemo where I am in the hospital hooked up to an IV for 4-6+ hrs of that day and the cost of those things without Medicaid picking up what Medicare doesn't cover is astronomical. I have to sign waivers every time I get my blood drawn (which is almost weekly now), do tests, and do treatments saying I will pay if Medicaid does not pick up the extra.

I already have crippling medical debt; I don't need more. I'm scared they won't let me do any more tests or treatments if they see I am just letting it all go to collections & am not paying.

This could mean the difference between having a life worth living (to me) where I am happy & thriving & autonomous or being bed-bound & living a life of just existing from day to day & miserable & in pain & suffering & unable to do anything for myself. This is literally life and death for me because I wouldn't be able to handle continuing to live in the latter scenario. I cannot handle living like I am now. Knowing my treatments are progressing is what keeps me going. Knowing I can go into remission is what keeps me going. Knowing my future is one completely different from now is what keeps me going. But if I cannot have that and am destined to live in this current state, it's just not worth it. I don't know a person alive who would want to live like this.

Finally, my anger noodle needs to get to the vet for MULTIPLE things. Nothing is, like... life threatening or super immediate like his cancer was last year, but they're things that need to be addressed in terms of preventative care & to make sure he isn't in pain.

He needs his trachea checked, possibly x-rays for that, maybe more...

He needs some medication updates, needs a physical, needs a full groom & nail clip under anesthesia (for those who are not familiar with Echo, he has extreme fear-based aggression & usually gets this done under anesthesia; since I worked with him so much, he had his first non-anesthesia nail clip at the beginning of quarantine, but he has gotten worse during quarantine & with my muscle eating disease, I can no longer restrain him & don't have the physical strength to run a brush through his thicker fur as his winter coat is in, so I can no longer groom certain areas of him at home, so his tummy & back legs are matted & I fear he may need to be shaved... which breaks my heart since you don't shave double coat dogs unless medically necessary.), he needs a full physical, & needs to be checked over for MCT's.

He may also need a fecal test or something else, as he has been having odd bowel movements. 😥 His tummy has been upset lately.

I have been crying myself to sleep every single night & often during the day because I cannot get him to the vet. No, it isn't urgent or life threatening. But he is reverse sneezing more than normal & I worry about tracheal collapse, which is a common small dog thing & even MORE common in pomeranians specifically. Every time he has a fit, I think "Oh god, this is it. This is the time I'm gonna have to rush him to the e-vet & get slammed with a huge bill & he is not gonna be okay..."

It breaks my heart to see his legs & belly matted. He is horrible about letting me groom him coz of his aggression so he only gets a full grooms at the vet, but I do short grooming sessions at home with him nightly. Takes about 2 hours just to do the majority of one side of him (not even all of it; just most) coz he needs breaks & lots of praise every few strokes or he will tear me to shreds & hurt himself snapping on the undercoat rake. 😥

But now that my autoimmune disease has atrophied my muscles to the point holding up my phone without something to prop it up feels like I am lifting weights & tires my arms out with a lactic acid burn & pain, I can no longer groom him with the patience he needs & can only groom in 20 minute intervals at the VERY longest. By the time I have gotten one leg done during the week, his entire other side is matted. 😞 Matting on dogs---especially double coat dogs---hurts them. It's like if someone were to wrap your hair around their fingers & then pull it taut. It's a constant pulling pressure on their skin... it's painful & irritates the epidermis. I feel miserable feeling the matting on his back legs & tummy & now feeling the mats beginning to form on the rest of him. He hates me working them out, even with the detangling spray. I know it must hurt so much...

So he may need to be shaved at this point & that will destroy me. I feel sick thinking about it. But anything to get him out of pain. Maybe it is what's best for him while I go through this year of treatment & get my muscles back. But in order to do that, I need to get him to the vet.

The stress of not being able to get him to a vet is tearing me apart & literally making me physically ill.

He is my world. My everything. My #1. My heart dog. My priority in life. My entire universe revolves around him. I would do anything for him. Not a single person, animal, thing, etc, comes before him. It is KILLING me that I cannot provide proper care for him right now. I always always always make sure to sacrifice for him if need be & his things ALWAYS come first, even if it means I'm not eating or not paying bills or whatever. As long as he is taken care of & his needs & wants are met, nothing else matters to me. And right now........ I feel he is suffering because of my finances & the fact my treatment with building my muscles up is not going fast enough.

I cannot control the latter one, but the first one is something I can at least ask for help for. So that is what I am doing.

If anyone is in a place to help, these are my venmo & cashapp codes. I also have paypal.

💙 Venmo: @kqroswell

💚 Cashapp: $kqroswell

💜 Paypal: @kqroswell or [email protected]

If there is another form of payment you're thinking of, lemme know. I also have fb pay activated if you have me on FB (Killian Q Roswell).

Thank you to everyone who read through this & anyone who can help or reblog this. 💖

Sincerely,

Your v scared, struggling transman who really wants his bills/rent paid & his dog to go to the vet,

Killian 💞

29 notes · View notes

adhbabey · 3 years

Note

hi. im really sorry for bothering you. this is also a long ask so im really sorry. and im sorry if im ranting. i feel like i need to explain and give the entire story and everything. it ends up leaning to overexplaining. and im already doing it. ok. so sorry. so, for the last few months (six or seven) ive been questioning if i have adhd. i show many symptoms such as sensory overload, hyperfocus, emotional dysregulation, rsd, delayed sleep phase syndrome, inattention (1/6)

hyperfixation and emotional hyperarousal, some problems with memory and object permanence, a selective memory like i memorized an entire 369 page book but i forgot where my phone was when i put it out of my direct line of sight,

i stim (drawing, moving, humming, etc) and i need stimulation or i die, I’m bad with remembering to shower/eat/brush my teeth and i will forget to change my outfit for days on end,

I have trouble controlling my volume and all of this: ( Do you feel like you’ve ruined everything when someone tells you that you did something wrong? Do you think you’ve offended people when you haven't? Do you have a hard time judging reality correctly (like you think you’ve offended or hurt someone and you feel awful but it didn’t bother them that much)? ) But I still don't show the "normal" signs of ADHD.

I’m not loud or disruptive in class. i get excellent grades. i took the act in 7th grade and got a 23 (good for a seventh grader).

i don’t struggle with getting things done, if they have a deadline. no deadline, never even going to start. but i’m known in school as the smart kid, with perfect grades and in the gifted program. when I’m at home i get all my homework done immediately. everything is turned in one time or before the deadline.

I don’t have time blindness unless I’m hyperfocusing. otherwise I’m way too acutely aware of time. i can guess what time normally within two minutes without looking at a clock.

I’m constantly stressed about making it to places on time and am never late. and ADHD is a disability, but I’m doing fine, it hasn't affected me really at all, so i don’t feel like I’m valid enough to talk to people about getting a diagnoses or even talk to people that i might have it. i don’t even think they'd believe me. they'd just brush it off that i was lying, i was trying to justify why i forget what I’ve just been told or why i disrespect the teachers by drawing instead of looking them in the eye.

I just don’t know what to do, and so I’m asking you, do you have any advice? should i talk to someone?

It’s not affecting me really. I’m not struggling. i have friends, social skills and i do great in school, i turn things in on time and all that. i don’t have major issues that a lot of ADHD people face. You have to have at least six symptoms interfere with your school, home, social life before you’re 12. I’m 14. but i show so many now i don’t know what to do. sorry for the rant. any advice?

I’m so sorry I didn’t answer this sooner, by the way, I’ve not been able to get on my computer in the past couple of days, so I deeply apologize. But for first looks, by the fact that you made a wall of text, in which I edited down for an easier time reading, you absolutely have ADHD.

I’m going to say this, one thing, it absolutely affects you. Just because you aren’t having bad days, doesn’t mean you never will. And it’s likely that you’re not struggling so much, because you are currently in a structured environment. I was in a similar position when I was still in public school. I didn’t realize that I had ADHD until I was 20 and entered an unstructured environment for college. It was then I began to struggle so much that I wasn’t able to clean my dorm room and had an ant infestation.

And you don’t need to be disruptive to have hyperactivity symptoms, especially if you are assigned female at birth, afab people are taught to mask things, and tend to end up being called drama queens, chatty and daydreamers. So if you feel the need to brush off your symptoms, its because we are unfortunately taught that.

With executive dysfunction, its literally about having a hard time starting tasks, thats what they mean. Also many neurodivergent people can relate to the “gifted kid syndrome”, you are not alone in that.

For time blindness, being stressed about the time or hyperaware can be a sign of overcompensating for the fact that you may not have an internal clock. Time blindness is when you are doing something and next time you check its 2 hours later but it felt like 15 minutes. If you have anxiety about the time its a sign you experience time blindness.

Also its a neurodivergent thing to hate eye contact, and with us who have ADHD, it helps to focus on something visually to listen to them. Stimulating certain senses can be important for not getting distracted, because its a controlled thing to keep you occupied, so your other senses can be used better.

You should talk to your school counsellor and parents if you can, tell them that you relate to specific symptoms on this list. Say you think you deal with executive dysfunction and all this stuff. Because while you may not struggle as much right now, you may struggle worse later and its important to start managing it now for the future.

I hope this helps. Sorry for taking so long!!!

#babey asks #adhd #aaaaa

21 notes · View notes

thewidowsghost · 4 years

Text

Fox - Chapter 30

Previously on Fox:

"Good, send some -" (Y/n)'s cut off by a loud ping that even Natasha could hear, and a thump into ground. It detonates, and Natasha's eyes widen in fear, hoping that the worst hadn't happened. "Okay, that's not cool," (Y/n) says, grunting and Natasha is able to breath again.

"Shit!" (Y/n) curses as another ping sounds and then the call ends, with Natasha staring at the phone in shock.

Natasha pulls her phone off the plugin and takes a picture of the call's origin, and dials Clint's number. "Clint, we've got a problem?"

Clint freezes at the distress in Natasha's voice. "Nat? What is it?"

"(Y/n)'s been kidnapped!" Natasha answers. Clint's eyes widen in horror, Laura turning to stare at her husband, the brunette having heard since the phone had been on speaker.

3rd Person POV

All Tony Stark can hear are nightmarish, garbled voices, and sees probing lights. Tony thrashes against a belt restraining him to a table.

Then he gets flashes, a red scalpel, blood-splattered hands, a man, looking down on him. The man yells to someone in Arabic, and Tony is held down, a chloroform is pressed to his face.

Tony flickers awake, disoriented. A tube protrudes from his nose. He sees bald man, tanned skin, and brown eyes, behind wire rimmed glasses.

Tony looks over, seeing a jug of water on the table. He tries to speak, and realizes it's from the nasal-tube. Tony pulls at the tube, gagging as two feet of tubing slithers from his nose.

"...water...water," Tony whispers hoarsely.

The bald man continues humming, and frustrated, Tony yanks the IV from his arm and stretches for the water, but is stopped by a wire, under his chest bandages, snapping taut.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the unknown man tells Tony.

Tony follows the wire with his eyes and finds, to his horror, that it's hooked up to a car battery. He starts clawing at his chest bandages and the bald man turns. Tony sees an ugly chest wound, too much for the billionaire to handle and she swoons.

Hours later, the bald man is stirring a bubbling pot on the furnace, and he glances at Tony, who wakes up on the cot. Tony eyes the bulky chest-piece protruding from his fresh bandages.

"What have you done to me?" Tony asks.

"What did I do?" The bald man asks sarcastically. "I removed what I could, but there's a lot left headed for your atrial septum. Do you want a souvenir?" He tosses Tony a jar with a ton of bloody Christmas tree shaped barbs. Tony regards the shrapnel and he drops the jar. "I've seen many wounds like this in my village. The walking dead we called them, because it took a week the barbs to reach vital organs. I anchored a magnetic suspension system to the plate. It's holding the shrapnel in place ... at least for now."

Tony struggles up, sitting up on the cot, and notices a surveillance camera on the cave wall.

"That's right, smile," the bald man says. Pausing for a moment, then he continues, "We met once - at a technical conference in Bern."

"I don't remember," Tony says, looking confused.

"You wouldn't," the bald man says. "If I'd been that drunk, I wouldn't have been able to stand, much less give a talk on integrated circuits."

"Where are we?" Tony asks.

A slot in the door opens and a pair of dark eyes stares in. The bald man drops his spoon and puts his hands on his head. "Stand up! Do as I do. Now!" he orders. Tony gets to his feet, but can't get his hands up, and the bald man helps him. "Listen to me, whatever they ask you, refuse. You understand? You must refuse?"

The door opens and a man, Abu Bakar, enters with two armed Henchmen standing a little behind him. On one of the henchmen's wrist, he sees Jimmy's bright orange Mets watch from the earlier convoy.

"Welcome Tony Stark, the greatest mass murderer in the history of America," the Bakar says in Arabic. "It's a great honor." The bald man translates the main man's words for Tony. Bakar looks Tony up and down like a prized horse, then continues in Arabic, "I want you to build this for me - the Jericho missile you were demonstrating." Bakar holds out a photo, a surveillance image of the Jericho Missile launch. The bald man translates the previous statement.

". . . I refuse," Tony says and the bald dude backhands Tony across the face, going ballistic.

"You refuse? You will do everything he says. This is the great Abu Bakar. You're alive only because of his generosity. You are nothing. Nothing! He offers you his hospitality, and you answer only with insolence He will not be refused. You will die in a pool of your own blood!" the bald man screams at Tony. Bakar spoons at the bald man's food, and throws a look of smug satisfaction. He heads out, his two henchmen behind him, and he slams the door shut.

"Perfect," the bald man tells Tony. "You did very well, Stark." Tony looks utterly perplexed. "Good, I think they're staring to trust me." he returns to his cooking. "Well, that's the end of my plan."

A little while later, Tony is jostled awake by Bakar's henchmen, who wrestle a hood over his head. And he struggles as he's pulled to his feet, clutching his car battery hooked to his heart.

After a few minutes of walking, the hood is ripped off of Tony's head and he squints into the stinging daylight, his expression turning to shock as he takes in the scenery.

In a bowl of tall mountain, camouflaged tarps are furled, revealing tons of Stark Industries weapons dating back to the 80s, some of the logos faded and some new.

Tony, stunned staggers along the creates, the bald man following. "Quite a collection, isn't it?" he asks.

"How did they get all this?" Tony asks.

The brown eyed man translates for Bakar, "As you can see, they have everything you need to build the Jericho. He says make a list of materials. You will start work right away and when you are done, he will set you free."

Tony sees a heavily armed and imposing man, surrounded by several men, acting as pilot fish around him.

"No," Tony murmurs, "he won't."

"... no he won't," echoes the bald man.

Days later, James Rhodes and General Gabriel and a team of assets, along with Agent Clint Barton are assessing the remains of (Y/n) and Tony's convoy.

"Something's not right," Clint says, the blond looking up the two.

"Looks like a standard hit and run," General Gabriel says.

"Sir, I'm telling you, this was a snatch and grab," Rhodes says, a confused look on his face. "A perfectly executed linear ambush. As soon as they got what they wanted, they melted away."

"Intel's on it, we're in good hands. If they're out there, we'll get them," the General says.

"With your permission, I'd like to stay in theater and head up the search and investigation," Rhodes says.

"There's a PR firestorm brewing over this," the General answers. "Right now, the best way to serve your country is to get back there and handle it."

"Both Tony and (Y/n) Stark are the DOD's numbers one and two intellectual assets, and I can be one of value in the field," Rhodes counters.

"Duly noted, but we need you back home," Gabriel says, then he turns, walking away, adding. "Colonel, it's not lost on me that Tony Stark is a lifelong friend, and (Y/n) is your honorary niece."

Rhodey nods and heads for his Humvee as things are beginning to be packed up. Clint looks around, a look of grief spreading across his face as he realizes that it might take a lot longer than he thought to find his friend.

A few days later, Tony is sitting in a wheelbarrow by the furnace, wrapped in an Army surplus blanket, Yinsen, the bald man looming over him.

"I'm sure they're looking for you, Stark, but they will never find you here," Yinsen tells him. "That car battery is running out ... and thy wont turn on the generator till you start to work." Tony doesn't say anything and Yinsen continues. "You don't like what you saw out there, did you? I didn't like it either when those weapons destroyed my village. What you just saw, that's your legacy - you life's work in the hands of the murderers. Is that how you want to go out? Is this the last act of defiance of the great Tony Stark? Or are you going to try to do something about it?"

"Why should I do anything, they're either going to kill me or I'm going to die in a week?" Tony says, despair evident in his voice.

"Then this is a very important week for you," Yinsen tells Stark.

A little while later, the lights come on as the generator is started. Bakar is flanked by several guards and watches as one of their guards goes to refuel the generator, then walks the gas can to a cage, housing a fuel drum, locking that down too.

"Okay, here's what I need," Tony says, packing back and forth, barking what he needs while more of Bakar's guards carry in missiles and materials. Yinsen follows, translating as Tony assesses his work area. "S-Category missiles. Lot 7042. The S-30 explosives tritonal. And a dozen of the S-76. Mortars: M-Category #1, 4, 8, 20, and 60. M-229's, I need eleven of these. Mines: the pre-90s AP 5s and AP 16s." Bakar's men dart about, grabbing the materials. "... this area free of clutter, with good light. I want it at 12 o'clock to the door to avoid logjams. I need welding gear - acetylene or propane, helmets, a soldering set-up with goggles, and smelting cups. Two full sets of precision tools. Bakar starts getting exasperated by the never-ending list. "Finally, I need: three pairs of tube socks, white, a toothbrush, protein powder, spices, sugar, five pounds of tea, and some playing cars," Yinsen pauses a moment during the translation at the last request. "And a washing machine. Top load."

Bakar's eyes bulge, and he gets into Tony's face. "A washing machine!? Does he think I'm a fool!?" he yells in Arabic.

Tony talks to Bakar, "Must have everything. Great Satan makes big boom-kill for powerful Abu Bakar. Big boom-kill."

After a while, the two men get all of their materials. Tony pulls open a missile-housing and removes a glass ring from the inner workings of it's guts then he leads Yinsen up to a large missile crate.

They remove the chip-rack cylinder form a larger warhead.

"You do know they've removed all the explosives before they brought this to us," Yinsen says.

"I know," Tony says. "They're crazy, not stupid." Tony walks the heavy chip-rack to teh work-bench and removes a tiny palladium strip. "This is what we're looking for. I need eleven of these."

"Eleven?"

A little bit later, Yinsen removes all of the chip-rack cylinders, bring them to Tony, and the billionaire extracts all the palladium strips.

"Heat the palladium to 1825 degrees Kelvin," Tony instructs.

Yinsen at the furnace asks, "How will I know when it reaches that temperature?"

"The palladium will melt."

Tony wraps a copper coil around the glass ring, and drops the palladium strips into a crucible on the fire. Tiny sculpts a sand-mold of melted palladium to Tony.

"Careful, careful..." Tony warns.

"Relax," Yinsen says. "I always had steady hands. It's why you're still alive."

"Oh yeah, thanks. What do I call you?"

"My name is Yinsen," Yinsen says.

"Nice to meet you," Tony nods to the brown haired man.

"Nice to meet you, too," Yinsen says.

Tony lifts the palladium ring out of the mold with a tweezer.

A little while later, Tony is plugging a cable into the generation.

"What are you shaving for? We're almost done," Tony asks.

Yinsen, taking his time shaving tells Tony, "Look like an animal, and soon you'll start behaving like one."

Tony throws a generator switch and lights find in and out. The finished RT device, wired to the generator cable, beginning to glow on the workbench.

Yinsen wipes his face and trails Tony to the workbench. He undoes the wires, holding up the glowing RT device, "That doesn't look like a Jericho missile."

"That's because it's a miniature ARK reactor. It should suspend the shrapnel in my chest and keep it from entering my heart," Tony explains.

"What an original invention," Yinsen mutters sarcastically.

"Yeah, but this one's going to last a little longer than a week."

"It's pretty small, what can it generate?"

"The gigajoules - per second."

Yinsen marvels at the words, "That could run your heart for fifty lifetimes."

"Or something very big for fifteen minutes," Tony says, and the two men's gazes meet for a moment. Then Tony says, "Let's put it in."

Back in Malibu, Pepper Potts enters Tony's office and is surprised to Obadiah Stane sitting behind Tony's desk, his head in his hands. "Sorry, did I startle you?" he asks.

"A little..." Pepper murmurs and Stane watches as Pepper swaps yesterday's unread L.A. Times and Wall Street Journal with today's. Something she did everyday, like a vigil.

Stane rises, gazing out the windows at the vast Stark Industries compound, Pepper coming up behind him.

"This was a bad idea, I should never had let them go over there..." Stane starts to break down, and Pepper places a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, hey... we've got to be strong, they're both going to be okay," Pepper says crumbling inside herself.

Obadiah composes himself, and nods.

Back in Afghanistan, while Tony is working on the Jericho, a certain (H/C) headed woman isn't fairing too well.

Strapped to a metal bed, a knife sticking out of her left shoulder, cuts and bruises littering her arms, legs, and face, her head lying on the cold, hard metal.

She begins drifting off to sleep, but is startled awake as a bucket of cold water is dumped on her.

(Y/n) opens her (E/C) eyes, the usual gentle eyes full of pain and anger, dark bags visible under the woman's eyes.

Bakar walks in, a nasty smile on his face. "Turns out, you father is more cooperative than we though."

"You an asshole," (Y/n) growls.

Two men advance on (Y/n), knives in hand, and she holds back her screams of pain as they cross over half-healed cuts and bruises.

Weeks later, Tony has a beard and is filthy now, cutting metal flat-stock with a torch. His shirt is ripped open, revealing the glowing RT device in his shirt. Tony snuffs the torch, looking over his shoulder at Yinsen, who is concentrating on building a backgammon board.

Tony secretly begins filling a cylinder with gas from the torch.

Yinsen glances at Tony, "Stark, tell me what you're doing, and I'll tell you what I'm doing."

"Looks to me like you're making a crappy backgammon board," Tony infers.

"Crappy?" Yinsen asks incredulously. "This is Lebanese cedar."

"Is that where you're from, Lebanon?" Tony wonders.

"I'm impressed you even know what this is. How about we play, and if I win, you tell me what you're really making."

"'A' I don't know what your talking about. 'B' I was the backgammon champ at MIT four years running."

"Interesting," Yinsen says, "I was the champion at Cambridge."

"Please don't use 'interesting' and Cambridge in the same sentence," Tony pauses. "It that still a school?" he wonders.

"It's a university. You probably haven't heard about it since Americans can't get in."

"Unless their teaching," Tony points out.

After a little while, Tony wipes his face, pulls on a pair of gloves as he goes to the furnace. He takes a white-hot piece of metal from the forge and starts pounding on it.

Yinsen, smoldering a complex circuit, looks up. "My people have a tail, about a Prince - much hated by his King - who was banished to the underworld and jailed there ..."

The hammer echoes on the anvil and Yinsen continues, "The evil King gave him the most difficult labor - working the iron pits. Year after year, the Prince mined the heavy ore, becoming so strong that he could crush pieces of it with his bare hands. Too late, teh King realized his mistake. When he struck at the Prince with his finest sword - it broke in half. The Prince himself had become strong as iron..."

Tony, sweating, holds up the metal he's been working on, a crudely shaped iron mask. He tosses the mask down, and it lies there smoking and pulsing with heat.

Back at Stark Industries, Pepper watches Stane and Rhodey in close, heavy conversation. Obadiah, grave, looks over and catches Pepper's eye, then he walks off, shaking his head.

Rhodey starts walking out, but Pepper steps into his path. "So that's it?" Pepper asks, her voice cracking. "Everyone's pulling the plug and moving on..."

"There's nothing left we can do. If there was any indication that (Y/n) and Tony are still alive," Rhodey says softly.

"Spare me," Pepper snaps. "I read the official e-mail. Thought maybe you'd have something else to say." Rhodey follows Pepper into her office. "If anyone could figure out how to beat the odds, it's those two. If it was you over there, they'd be finding a way to get you back," Pepper pauses. "Or inventing a new one."

"What do you want me to do?" Rhodey asks.

"Be a better friend," Pepper says storming out out of her office, leaving Rhodey feeling stung.

A few hours later, Rhodey slings a duffel bag in front of a C-17, is shipping out on a line of soldiers. General Gabriel pulls up in a golf cart and approaches. Everyone salutes; the General pulls Rhodey aside.

"What do you think you're doing, Rhodes?"

"Going back there, Sir," Rhodes says.

"Listen, son - it's been three months without a single indication that either of the Starks are still alive. We can't keep risking assets, least of all, you."

"Are you blocking my transfer, Sir?" Rhodes asks.

"Any one of those guys would kill for your career," the General looks around, catching sight of a blond man and a black haired woman in black leather walking towards them, the man has a bow and quiver strapped to his back. "Are you willing to sacrifice that to fly a bunch of snake-eaters on the desert patrol half way around the world?"

"I am, sir," Rhodey says, and the blond, standing a few feet away, nods in approval.

"Than I have one thing to say to you: Godspeed," the General says, then motions the blond forward.

"I'm Agent Barton," Clint says and the General nods. "This," he gestures to the Asian woman, “is Agent May. We're with the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division." The archer couldn't even bring himself to say SHIELD with one of his best friends missing. "We'd like to go with Colonel Rhodes, with your permission sir."

The General nods and the three turn and head up the ramp and into the loading bay.

Word Count: 3226 Words

So... Yeah...

I feel super bad about all of this, but hopefully, something good happens in the next chapter... 😣

So, see y'all!

Love, Kaitlynn ❤😍

Imma tag peoples now: @confusinggemini612, @gay-disaster826, @thelastavenger-3000, @osugahunnyicedtea, @night-howl199, @minicastle, @happilyeverafterfantasybooks, @billiebanner, @me-and-sweatpants, @scottjudah, @scarlet-raccoon, @whore-for-charlynch, @nyx-aria, @night-howl199, @brittanyrenne2004, @juegamiri29, @minicastle, @peggycarter-steverogers, @gay-disaster826, @guitargodme, @avengers-avenging, @natashadeservedbetter2, @awesomesuperbat2universe, @witchxaf, @marvel325, @natashadeservedmore

43 notes · View notes

marveloustommy · 3 years

Text

Faith chapter 1

Alright guys - this is the first time i’ve written pretty much anything so dont expect it to be that great. Im mostly writing to get my mind off stuff so if you have any requests, feel free to send them in :) like ive said - i havent really written much so please be nice lol. Im writing this slowly but im also putting it on my wattpad Pounce500, so if it looks familiar thats why! Anyways enjoy the story

Rosie Atwood woke up to the sun shining right into her window. She could hear the movement of her family downstairs as her body fully started to wake. Rosie stretched out and heard the satisfying cracking of her joints, rolling onto her back. Dark brown hair scattered over the pillows while Rosie floundered around in her bed. Rosie’s blaring blue eyes slowly adjusted to the light as she turned to grab her phone. 9:23am April 12, 2016. Rosie unlocked her phone and went about the daily routine of a teen and checked her social media.

At 19 years old, Rosie was still living at home with her parents. She found not paying rent while trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life to be the best option, and one she didn’t necessarily mind. Her family consisted of Rosie, her mother, Patty, her father, Derek, and her 2 twin 15 year old brothers, Jace and Matt. Jace was the older of the 2 by a 15 minute delay and would never hesitate to remind his younger brother of the fact. Rosie got along with her family quite well and was always willing to help with her brothers. Ever since Rosie was a kid, she was always like a parental figure to her younger brothers. She loved them dearly.

“ROSIE” she heard Jace yell up the stairs. Damn kid was too lazy to walk up the stairs like a normal person to even see if she was awake. Matty was always the kinder one (and the least lazy). Rosie groaned as she pulled herself out of bed. She could smell breakfast being cooked, her stomach rumbled, thinking of the food she would be eating. Rosie through on a hoodie over her sleep shirt and slowly wandered to the kitchen, where she saw her brothers fighting over a piece of bacon. Reaching in between them, she took it from the twins’ joint grasp and took a bite off the end.

“Rosie, what the hell?” Jace yelled as he watched his older sister easily grab the piece of bacon between 2 fingers and raise her eyebrows at the boys.

“Jace! Language please!” Patty chastised her oldest son before turning back to the stove. Rosie looked around the room in search of her father. For 9:30am on a Tuesday morning – the kids father would be sitting in his seat in the living room watching some rerun of a sports game while sipping a coffee. She took a seat at the table next to Matt.

“Where’s dad?” Rosie turned to her mother, turning herself in her chair to face the women at the stove.

“He got called in to work a little bit today – they’ve been understaffed, and he could always use the overtime hours” Her mother stated. Rosie sighed, this happened often. Her mother used that lie around the twins, but Rosie knew the reason. Her parents never had the greatest relationship, being married young after finding out they were expecting. All to keep Rosie’s grandparents happy. Ever since then, her father has been “working” often in order to get away from the stress of having children that young. Rosie’s parents were high school sweethearts and found out at only 20 years old that they were expecting. Being raised in a religious home caused Derek to marry Patty at only 21. He didn’t regret it – Derek loved his kids, but at only 39, he got easily stressed and would take it out in yelling matches against his wife. The two fought over nothing and everything, and while her parents did a good job raising the kids, a lot of responsibility fell to Rosie.

“Dad was supposed to take us to the new Captain America movie today mom.” Matt stated. The twins had gotten into the Marvel universe after their father had showed them some comics he had found from when he was a kid. The boys had been overjoyed when they found out their father would be taking them to see, hopefully, one of the greatest marvel movies made. Patty looked apologetically to her sons, knowing how bad they had wanted to go.

“How about I take you guys?” Rosie questioned the boys after seeing how genuinely upset they had become at the knowledge of their father’s absence from the day’s events. Rosie didn’t necessarily hate the movies – she just never got invested enough to call herself a fan. Sure, she had seen all the movies once, due to having obsessed younger brothers, but she never fully paid attention to care a lot about the plot. Both her brothers heads shot up to look at her after she popped the question.

“Who wants their sister to take them to a movie?” Jace replied looking somewhat offended at the question. Rosie scrunched her nose up at the boy.

“Do you want to see the movie or not?” She replied to the stubborn kid.

“Could you just maybe……. not sit with us?” Jace came up with a compromise, really wanting to see the movie, but not wanting to be caught with his older sister. Rosie rolled her eyes but agreed, which made the boy jump up out of their seats to cheer. Rosie looked to her mother who was smiling at her daughter. Rosie and the boys excused themselves to get ready for the great day ahead of them.

Rosie took her time getting ready. It was only 10am, and the movie didn’t start until 3pm. She had plenty of time to get her self ready and looking presentable. A knock sounded through her room and Rosie walked towards it.

“We need to leave by 12:30 to make sure we can get tickets and get good seats, Rose” Matt spoke quickly when she opened her door.

“Why do we need to leave that early? I’m sure the tickets won’t be gone that fast, right?” Rosie asked in confusion. It was just a movie? Why would it be sold out nearly 3 hours before the showtime. Despite her confusion, she agreed to the curly haired 15 year old before rushing to the shower. She now only had about 2 hours before they needed to leave. Once Rosie was done in the shower, she threw on a pair of ripped jeans and a clean hoodie before starting on her makeup. She filled her eyebrows, added a little mascara and a nice wing of eyeliner to either eye before sliding on her glasses and fixing her hair. Both Rosie and Matt had been cursed with her father’s thick curly hair, where Jace got the straight thin hair of their mother. She applied some curl cream before adding a bit of gel to hold her curls in place as the day went on. She ran downstairs and threw on her black VANS before grabbing her purse and the $30 her mother gave her to get into the theatre. She yelled at the boys before saying goodbye to her mother and pushed the twins out the door. The drive to the theater wasn’t bad – but parking was another story. She drove around the block 3 times before finding a space and quickly parking the car. The 3 Atwood siblings made their way to the theater, heading inside to get tickets and seats.

“Hi, 1 adult and 2 teens for Civil War please?” Rosie smiled at the older man behind the counter. He nodded and rang the siblings through. Once she paid the man he swiveled the screen towards her to pick their seats. The 2 boys immediately picked seats as close to the middle of the theater, while the older girl picked a seat up in the top row of the theater.

“You’ll be in cinema number 2, up on the right there” The man smiled as the 3 set off to watch the newest movie in the marvel universe.

#tomholland #tomhollandxreader #mcucastfanfiction #tomhollandfanfic #spiderman #Marvel #mcu

4 notes · View notes

minniemixe · 4 years

Text

Beauty And The Beast

Gangster AU

Stray Kids Fanfic

Chan x Reader

Other Appearances: GOT7 BTS

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Violence, Mentions of stabbing

Beauty and the Beast Masterlist

Chapter 3

Moon screamed in shock and pain as she gasped for air, falling on her side, her vision blurred as she tried to sit up. “Yah! stop overreacting, I know what I’m doing, it’s not severe” but before his sentence finished, Moon had already fainted. Kneeling down next to her, he shook her body, assuming she was bluffing. “Hey, wake up” but to no avail, inspecting her wound, he saw no signs of a serious injury, his knife wasn’t that big, so the cut couldn’t be too deep nor was there excessive blood loss, which confused him as to why the girl fainted. He picked her up and sprinted out of the gym. Carrying her towards the infirmary, he stopped midway thinking to himself about how he was going to explain the situation, and there was no way that the leader wouldn’t find out about this, which worried him even more. Looking at the unconscious figure in his arms, he knew he messed up real bad.

To his dismay, when he opened the door to the infirmary, the leader was inside, joking around with Anna, “She’s not dead” he spoke before either of them could question him.

“How did this happen?” CB inquired

“Long story” HH answered putting Moon on the bed

Anna started working on the wound as the two boys engaged in the conversation.

“The wound isn’t very deep, was there too much blood loss?” the brown haired girl asked, interpreting the two boys

“No, that’s the confusing part, why did she faint?” HH spoke

“Probably from the shock” CB stated

“I’ll still need blood samples, something doesn’t seem right. She once came to me for painkillers after training with Changbin, saying she had a headache and was feeling dizzy, I shrugged it off thinking it might be because of hunger or low blood sugar since I have that all the time. But her fainting like this, I think it might be something else. Chan could you hand me that kit” Anna explained pointing towards the said kit

“Hwang stabbing her was a little too much man” Chan spoke, handing Anna the kit

“Oh and IV drip as well from that cupboard”

“Yeah yeah, I know, I admit this was my fault, but it was kinda accidental” he defended himself

“Hyunjin dear, there is no such thing as kinda accidental, you either stabbed her or it was an absolute accident, please choose one” Anna sarcastically spoke while attaching the canola to Moon’s arm

“Well I meant to make a small cut but my hand slipped and I ended up stabbing her, but before I could even say anything, she just screams one second and is out cold the next” he explained

“She’s a feisty one, you should sleep with your eyes open, she’ll definitely get you back for this” Chan laughed

“You se-” Hyunjin was cut off as Woo and El entered the infirmary

“I need the pill” El told Anna

“You know Woojin, it wouldn’t kill you to get a condom.” Chan told the older

“Nah that’s too much work” El replied popping the pill in her mouth

“It’s literally just rolling it on, how is that too much work” Hyunjin questioned

“TMI bro!!!” Anna shouted

“Alright that’s enough” Woojin spoke

“What happened to her?” El asked looking towards Moon’s unconscious figure

Anna lifted the blanket from the side to show her the stitches. “Could you let the girl be???? Don’t you think stabbing her was a little too much” El said samacking Hyunjin across the head

“Owww!!!”

“Woojin could you please get this blood tested?” Anna asked, handing him the blood sample

“Yeah sure” he took the blood and left the infirmary

“How long do you think she’ll be out?” Hyunjin asked

“I’m not su-” Anna got cut off hearing a groan coming from behind them, the three turned around to see Moon sitting up on the bed. The moment she spotted Hyunjin she threw the sheets off her and leaped at him “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU” she shouted, before Moon could touch him, Chan casually grabbed her waist and bought her flush against his chest, stopping her from hurting Hyunjin or herself. However Moon wasn’t having any of it as she struggled against his hold trying to get to Hyunjin. “Calm down princess, you don’t want to open your wound”. Moon’s heartbeat increased hearing that pet name and the fact that his hand was on her bare stomach didn’t help either. Hyunjin stuck his tongue out and ran out the infirmary.

Moon sighed loudly and cursed under her breath. “How long was I out for?” she asked turning around to face the Chan

“About an hour, maybe less” Anna answered

“Do you have any iron supplements?” Moon asked running a hand through her hair

“Why do you need those?” Chan asked

“I’m anemic” she answered

“Oohh, must’ve been the reason you passed out” Anna put the dots together

“The blood test isn’t of any use now” Chan said

“When did yo-” Moon was about to ask when she looked down at her arm, which was bleeding around the canola, “-is this supposed to be happening?” Moon asked extending her arm towards Anna

“No it’s not and it wouldn’t have happened either if you hadn’t tried to jump Hyu- HH so aggressively” she said taking her arm to remove the canola

“Now go easy, you don’t want to ruin the stitches, so it’s best to just rest” Anna said after cleaning her arm.

“What about training?” she asked

“Phase 1 and 2 will be put on hold, you’ll train with Dandy, I.N and Liv, that’s phase 3, we’ll just have to determine your position first” Chan explained

“Don’t get your stitches wet, and come get them checked next week” Anna told Moon, who nodded her head and left.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been 3 weeks since the incident and Moon had been training with the three as told by the leader. During this time she learned that she was not fit to be in the Medic Team. Liv had tried her best to teach the older girl the basics, however it never ended in a good way. After almost killing J.One, Chan decided that it was enough and that more time shouldn’t be wasted.

The gang was once again gathered in the meeting hall, this time to test Moon’s skills in tech.

“There isn’t much to it, I hacked into the phone through which my dad was contacted, but not even minutes later the signal was lost, and the location I picked up was somewhere near a river. I managed to hack the traffic cams around the area and tracked the car CB97 go- is there some easier name I can call you, CB97 is weird. Anyways I tracked the car back” Moon explained when asked how she found them

“Impressive, and you may call me Chris” the leader replied making everyone gasp, considering this was against protocol

“Chris. Hhmm I like it, has a nice ring to it” Moon muttered

“But what we can’t understand is how we couldn’t track back to you?” Dandy questioned

“This one is connected to the projector?” Moon asked pointing towards Dandy’s laptop

“Yeah”

“I.N, can I have yours?”

“Sure”

She took the computer and started typing away on it. 20 minutes later she spoke

“Okay, now both of you, try and hack into this using Dandy’s laptop”

“Excuse me? What did you do to it?” Dandy snatched it away from her

“Nothing, just please do what I asked” Moon said

Dandy looked at her skeptically but nonetheless began the task. Moon grabbed I.N’s laptop again to continue doing what she was. Everyone could see what Dandy and I.N were doing and the atmosphere was starting to get thick. “I’m in” Dandy spoke, Moon pressed a few keys on I.N’s laptop and everything on Dandy’s screen disappeared. “What the fuck?!?!?!?” Dandy exclaimed

“How did you do that?” I.N asked surprised, his eyes as big as saucers

Moon giggled at the younger’s adorable expression and moved between him and Dandy. Taking Dandy’s laptop she started clicking away as she explained what she was doing, “So basically the hacker thinks they’ve gotten in, when in reality they’ve only reached a dummy server, the moment they fall for the decoy, I’ll be notified that someone is trying to break in, and if i do this-” she pressed a few keys “-the whole algorithm will reset and everything they did will be erased”

“How did you do this?” HH asked

“How come Dandy didn’t know about this? He’s the head of all this tech stuff” J.One chirped in

“Because I built this software to avoid legal issues. So no one knows about this” Moon answered

“Not bad shorty, looks like you can contribute after all” Woo smirked

Moon wanted to say something snarky but decided against it, getting on HH’s bad side got her stabbed, she didn’t want to think about what could happen if she pissed off a sniper.

“Well this concludes that Phase three is over and you’ll be put in the Tech Team with Dandy and I.N” Chris spoke

(A/N: I did not do a fact check, and I don’t know shit about hacking, please bear with me)

“What about my field test? What if I want to be on the task force?” Moon asked

“Shouldn’t you stick to what you’re good at princess, make things a bit easier for yourself” that pet name got her feeling butterflies in her stomach

“Too boring, I want some action in my life”

“Joining a gang should be action enough” Lee Know said

“At least give me chance, you said there would be a field test, if I pass that, let me be on the task force” Moon requested

“Okay, complete phase 1 and 2, if you pass, I’ll accept your request” Chris said

“I thought I already passed phase 1? I won with all three of my instructors” Moon stated

“Not with me” HH interrupted

“You cheated” Moon replied

“I told you there will be no such thing as fair play when you’re in the field”

“But I had you pinned down with my knife to your throat, what did you want me to do, kill you?”

“Your body language said it all, your hands were shaking, you were hesitant, even if it were someone else underneath you, you wouldn’t have been able to kill them, that’s why I stabbed you, to show you what happens if you’re not quick” he explained

“You don't know me!! I’d have killed anyone else, it was you that I was nervous, I didn’t want to accidentally do something that’d get me in trouble” she defended herself

“Well how flattering, so glad to know I’m of importance to you” HH said sarcastically

“Don-”

“STOP IT!!! BOTH OF YOU” Chris shouted

“That’s enough. Moon you’ll fight me tomorrow in the ring, if you defeat me, you’ll start phase 2, if not, you’ll continue with SpearB. Dismissed.” Chris said and left the room, everyone following behind.

Hyunjin ran after the leader calling out to him “Chan wait!”, Chan turned around to face him

“Yeah?” he asked

“Why didn’t you put me with her to train, why Changbin?” Hyunjin asked

“Because I don’t want her to end up back in the infirmary due to a childish rivalry” Chan answered

“You seem to care a lot about our new member” Hyunjin smirked

“Watch your mouth or you’ll be the one in the infirmary” the older said turning around, his ears turning red.

“Mouth or hands?” Hyunjin called out. The moment those words left his mouth, a knife went flying past his head. The younger was completely unfazed until a scream was heard from down the hallway. “Shit!” the leader cursed as they both ran towards the source of the scream.

“And I was going to put her in the infirmary” Hyunjin laughed looking at Moon who was clutching the side of her neck with blood trickling down. Chan raised his fist and Hyunjin ran away shouting a bunch of sorries. “Is this a subtle way of saying, ‘please kill yourself and make things easier for us’” Moon sarcastically questioned

Chan released a breathy laugh and replied “Sorry, this one’s on me, let me help you with that”.

“Please do bef-” Moon started losing her balance, Chan hurriedly grabbed her waist balancing her “woah there” he said looking down at her weak figure

“Before I pass out” she completed her sentence, standing up straight with Chan’s help.

“The cut isn’t very deep, it doesn’t need stitches, a simple bandage will do” Chan spoke, inspecting her wound

“That’s a relief,” she replied. The room filled with comfortable silence as Chan cleaned her wound and started bandaging it.

“How come you’re not fazed by anything” Chan asked focused on Moon’s neck

“Fazed as in?” Moon questioned

“I don’t know, you joined a gang 6 months ago, you were quite calm for that and after the beginning of training you were normal, you would be covered in bruises but you’d continue about your day as if it's not even there.” he told looking in her eyes, now done with treating her neck

“Everyone has a story” Moon whispered

“What’s yours?” he asked, hand cupping her neck, thumb gently rubbing her cheek

“Not the best one” she answered leaning into his touch

“Why?” he asked after a few seconds

“Why what?”

“Why did you look for him, why, even though he was abusive?”

“I never sa-”

“I saw. The night you left, I followed you out, and I saw everything” he cut her off.

Moon sighed closing her eyes “I don’t know, it’s complicated. I didn’t want to, but at the same time I wanted to, it was all so confusing” she answered opening her eyes, meeting his honey brown ones

“What would you have done if I didn’t let him go? Would your life be peaceful right now” he asked, suddenly feeling weird towards her.

“I don’t know. I guess I wouldn’t have left, I would’ve forced you, even if it got me killed. I didn’t want to look for him but I did, for my mother. Being honest, my life is much more peaceful than it was back at home” she told. At this Chan let out a series of laughs, his head resting on her shoulder as he kneeled in front of her. “What’s so funny?” She asked giggling

“You, you are one of a kind. Who the hell says, they’re peaceful being in a gang” he said getting up, extending his hand out to her. She just shrugged her shoulders, taking his hand and standing up. “At least now I can fight back when someone hits me” Moon says as they both exit the infirmary.

“Stabbing is not allowed. Pinned under, with a knife against the throat, one of us concedes, cut somewhere where a vital organ is, passing out, counts as losing. Since stabbing is not allowed any cuts made will be considered stab wounds, meaning if the cut is big it insinuates that the victim bleeds to death” Chan explained as Moon and him stood in the middle of the gym ready to fight with the rest of the members watching.

Moon threw a punch to Chan’s throat, he successfully dodged it grabbing Moon’s arm and twisting it. She went to kick his leg but he threw her on the ground before her leg could touch his. Chan lunged forward to punch her when she rolled over causing him to hit the ground. Moon quickly got up and locked her arm around his throat, she tightened her hold trying to choke him but he leaned forward flipping Moon over causing her to fall flat on her back. Chan jabbed her with his elbow making her groan, she retaliated by kneeing him in the head, Chan fell back giving her the perfect opportunity to get back on her feet. Moon kicked Chan in the side making him stumble, quickly straddling him, she pulled her dagger to attack, however Chan was quick to react. He twisted her arm making her drop the weapon, successfully flipping them over, Chan now had Moon under him. But before Chan could draw his weapon at her, she headbutted him. Chan grabbed his nose groaning in pain, Moon took this opportunity and pushed him off herself and ran towards her weapon. Chan quickly recovered and grabbed her arm pulling her back, he turned her around and wrapped his hand around her neck choking her, evoking a scream due to the pressure on her wound. She started scratching his arms to get him to loosen his grip but it was useless. She put one feet on his chest while holding his arm, steadying herself, she hauled her other leg over his shoulder and around his neck. While Moon tried to elbow him in the head he grabbed her waist and pulled her back. Moon wrapped her other leg around his head as well making him bow his head, taking advantage of the position she put both her palms on the ground and with much difficulty she managed to flip them both over. Chan landed on his back with his head between her thighs. Moon tightened her hold trying to choke him which proved useless. Chan was both larger and stronger than her, taking advantage of his strength, he squeezed her thigh bruising it, however Moon was unfazed and kept tightening her legs, Chan grabbed her other leg and pulled them apart. Getting up he pulled her towards himself by her leg. Putting his legs on either of her waist he straddled her, he pinned both her wrists above her head and leaned closer to her, “Not so tough now, huh princess”. She’d be lying to herself if she said that the close proximity didn’t make her heart flutter. Looking up at his smug expression she knew he was doing it on purpose knowing how it affected her. Moon reached forward and attached her lips to his catching everyone off guard. Taking advantage of his shocked state, she kneed his back pushing him off. Quickly getting up and grabbing her weapon, “Not so tough now, huh daddy” the words left her mouth before she could stop them.

“Enjoying yourself baby girl?” he asked trying to grab her, but Moon was fast and swung her knife making a huge cut from his shoulder, across his chest to the side of his abdomen. “More than you can imagine” she smirked stepping away from him.

“That’s definitely going to leave a scar” Woojin spoke

“Don’t worry, Moon’s gonna kiss it better” Hyunjin joined in

“I won, now I get a field test as promised” Moon said before anyone else could pass any comments

“Not yet princess, you still have phase 2 to complete” Chan answered

“How long will that take?” she whined

“Depends on how fast you learn to shoot a weapon” Woojin said

“Why are you so eager for a field test anyway?” Bree asked

“Because it’s boring in here, I wanna go out” Moon answered

“Being almost stabbed to death twice is boring?” Anna exclaimed

“I need more spice” Moon shrugged

Chan grabbed her wrist and started dragging her with him. “Where are you taking me?” she asked, trying to get out of his grip. “To make your life more spicy” he simply said before dragging her out of the door.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

58 notes · View notes

trauma-13 · 4 years

Text

Birth story.

I'm posting this mostly so I can remember it down the line when it's not as fresh in my mind.

On may 27th, I had my weekly OB appointment. I was 38 weeks and 2 days. I went in, peed in a cup, and waited for my appt time. I got called back shortly, and had my vitals take. My blood pressure was 128/88. Not bad, but higher than it had been, even just the day before. I honestly didn't think much of it. My provider comes in, says she wants to recheck my BP, draw labs, and schedule me for a induction once I got to 39 weeks. She was concerned because my BP was higher and I had slight protein in my urine-for those not in the medical field reading this, she was concerned I was developing pre-eclampsia which is a very serious complication of pregnancy. So the MA comes back, rechecks my pressure-136/96. I assumed it was from anxiety of now being told I may have pre-eclampsia. My provider was in another room, so the MA had me go to the lab area to start blood work while she waited for the doc to finish in the other room. My doctor walked in the room a couple minutes later and said "nevermind labs, I want you to go to Shea (my delivery hospital)" I immediately started to panic, and asked "why, am I going to be induced?" She told me she didn't know yet, but wanted me to get stat labs, and be monitor vitally and the baby monitored for a couple hours. She said depending on labs would depend if I would be induced. She told me she'd see me at Shea.

Needless to say, I was pure panic. I'm not sure how I didn't burst into tears right then, but I some how didn't. I was terrified. Being a nurse, I know the bad things that can happen, and of course that's all I was focused on. I got to my car, still not crying, and called my husband. I told him to get dressed, and grab stuff to go to Shea, that I was fine and that I would tell him everything when I got home. Still no crying. I called my mom, because well she's my mom and she was going to come and stay with our dogs when I went into labor so they weren't alone for potentially days on end. As soon as mom answered the phone, all the walls came down and I started crying. Not just normal crying, full blown, can't talk, sobbing. She, of course, panics. She knew I had an OB appt, and she assumed the worst. I finally got my self together enough to tell her "I'm fine, the baby is fine," I explained everything that was going on, and that I was heading to the hospital shortly. I talked to her the entire 6 minute car ride home, still crying, and scared. She asked me if I wanted her to come up, and I said yes. She lives 3 hrs away, so it's not like she's close. I didn't know what the next few hours of my life held, and that was terrifying.

I got home, James had grabbed all our stuff, and had made sure to get the extra last minute things too. He asked if I was okay because I'd obviously been crying, I told him physically yes, emotionally no and that I was afraid of the next few hours and the uncertainty. We took the dogs out, stopped to get gas, and headed to Shea.

We get to the hospital around 1pm or so. I told them everything my doc had said, and the tech checking me in said my doc had called ahead and let them know about me. Even more fear sets in. We get back to a room, I give them a urine sample and change into the lovely gown. My nurse comes in and does her exam and tells me the plan. We're going to draw labs, monitor me and the baby and depending on all of the results would determine our next steps. At this point I had let my mother in law, and 3 best friends know what was going on incase we did get admitted for induction.

We sat in the room for a couple hours. I was contracting basically the whole time, but they were about 20 mins apart. I asked the nurse about it, she said they were fairly strong on the monitor, but weren't close enough yet. So around 5pm or so, another nurse comes in, she says my original nurse got pulled into an emergency delivery, but that she was going to discharge me so we could go home. I was a bag of emotions at this point. I had accepted that I'd be induced and would meet our baby soon, and had gotten over the fear and now I was being discharged. I was given strict orders to go home, relax, drink lots of water and "come back in 24 hrs for repeat labs, and make sure to bring your hospital bags when you come tomorrow," to me, that meant we were being induced tomorrow. Apparently it's some insurance thing, that they couldn't induce me that day. No clue.

So we go home. My mom's at the house. I told her everything they said and the plan for the next day.

Fast forward to 4pm the next day, it was time to head back to Shea. We got all of our things together and head over. I got checked into triage and brought back to a triage room. They hooked me up to the monitors, and at that point everything looked okay. Babys strip was great, I wasn't really contracting and my BP was doing okay at 130s/80s. They drew blood and then it was a waiting game.

I had started contracting again about 45 minutes after getting to the hospital. They were strong, and painful, and about 8-10 mins apart. They were painful enough that I was having to completely stop whatever I was doing, and just focus on breathing. I was assuming it was because I was stressed because the same thing had happened the day before. Of course, my blood pressure started to go up. Nothing crazy, but it was higher, about 140s/90s. My doctor came in around 6pm and said she wanted to admit me and induce me. She was concerned that if I went into labor naturally my BP would elevate too much and cause further issues. The plan was to admit me to labor and delivery, start pitocin, do an epidural, and have a baby! My doctor said, "around 4am we'll have this baby, so try to nap and relax once you get to the other room." Shift changed happens at 7pm, so one of the triage nurses started an IV, some fluids and we waited for the night shift nurse to come on for me to go over to the other room.

Around 715-730ish my L&D nurse came over and we headed over to the other room. During the *maybe* 1 minute walk over to the other room I had to stop and just breathe because holy contractions! Again, still convinced I wasn't really in labor. We got to L&D, I sat on the bed, and my nurse started asking me all the normal questions and asked what my plan was reguarding an epidural and if I wanted to do that before or after the pitocin. I was right in the middle of a VERY strong and painful contraction, and I didn't answer her right away. After the contraction passed, she said I looked incredibly uncomfortable and asked if I was okay. I straight up just started crying and told her I was so uncomfortable, and frankly I was terrified of pitocin. James was rubbing my back, and she grabbed my hands and said "don't worry, I'll go page the anaesthesiologist right now and we'll put the epidural in before we even think about pitocin. I want you comfortable first and foremost." I tried to lay down and get as comfy as possible until the doc came in.

Around 8pm he came in, explained the whole procedure and we got it done. It was so quick, and easy and I had such immediate relief. I could finally relax!! Physically and mentally! After the epidural was in, my nurse checked me, I was 4-5cm dialated, 90% effaced and 0 station. My nurse called my doc to ask if we wanted to start pitocin or wait and see what my body did naturally, my doc wanted to start the pitocin just because my BP was still elevated at this point even with the epidural and pain relief. We started the pitocin around 830pm or so, and my water still hadnt broken at this point. The plan was for my doctor to come in at 930pm and break my water if it hadn't happened naturally at that point.

Fast forward to 945ish and my doc comes in to break my water. Weirdest feeling ever. She also put Baby J on one of the internal monitors because he kept coming off the external monitor. At that point I was 5cm, 90%, and still 0 station. My nurse helped me lay on my left side and we were going to try to nap since we were in for a long night. James had started dozing pretty quickly, and I started feeling contractions again. Crazy strong, very frequent, maybe about 1 minute apart or so. I was holding his hand and felt like I was going to break his fingers Everytime I had a contraction. I remember looking at the clock and it being around 1010 and thinking "okay if my nurse hasn't come in by 1015, I'll call her" because DAMN were those contractions painful.

Within a few minutes my nurse came in, I honestly don't know how many minutes it had been because I was busy breathing hah! She said she was going to have the doctor put in an internal contraction monitor as well because she wasn't sure that the external was super accurate. My doc comes in within a few mins, and goes to place the monitor and says "oh, oh, you're complete and we need to push now because he's practically crowning" (apparently all that pain and pressure was my body saying hey let's do this!)

Nothing was ready! We weren't planning on having a baby for another few hours so the birth cart wasn't even in the room. The nurse grabbed one really quick while my doc was putting on shoe covers, she had enough time to throw on the sterile gown and gloves before i felt like I needed to push. My nurse had barely had time to page the baby nurse!

I pushed 3x over that contraction. Definitely yelled fuck, but otherwise, I don't remember saying anything/making any noise at all. My nurse coached me how to push effectively and how to curl my body to help.

Second contraction, pushed 3 more times. The whole time James was holding my left foot and rubbing my shoulder. He was his usual quiet self, which I expect nothing else hah!

Third contraction I pushed 3 more times. At the end of the third one my doc told me to take a big breath and give one big push. So I did. And little dude was born at 1036pm!

I pushed for around 7 minutes total (per James) before our little one was born. I had to get stitches, but I don't even remember it happening. As soon as they put my son on my chest, nothing else mattered. I couldn't stop shaking, or crying. It was completely uncontrollable. I was so overwhelmed! I went from the thought of having a baby hours from now, to having a baby in my arms 7 minutes later! It happened so fast we didn't even have time to tell my mom that it was game time. The plan was to have her on FaceTime so she could help talk to me and support us even though she couldn't physically be there.

Baby J was a few minutes old and I asked James to call my mom on FaceTime. When she answered she immediately started crying once she saw the baby and heard him crying. I kept apologizing for not calling her, I felt so bad even though it's so silly! James told her I started pushing about 10 mins ago and had a baby so quickly we didn't even have time to think about anything else. Of course she wasn't upset at all.

Once I was stitched up, my nurse shut off the epidural and helped clean me up a bit. After she said she was going to step out, and give us time to ourselves with our little one, but to call if we needed her. I held my little boy and just stared at him. He was perfect! The only better thing than holding him myself, was seeing James hold him for the first time. Que crying all over again.

He was born on May 28th, 2020 at 1036pm, 6lbs 1oz, and 19 inches long. I didn't get my June baby, but he's absolute perfection and has our entire hearts. Our little one is turning 7 weeks on Thursday. I can't believe he's been here for 7 weeks already. Motherhood has been the hardest most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life.

#birth story #labor and delivery #obstetrics #pregnancy #momma hood #momma-hood #meee #JTD #motherhood

19 notes · View notes

thebiasrekkers · 4 years

Text

Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]

Plot: “It’s always darkest before the dawn…” It’s a dog-eat-dog world in Seoul, South Korea. One has to dwell in the shadows in order to reach for the light. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to feel the sunlight on your face? What will it take to drag you back into darkness? How long will the journey be to make it right?

Rating: NC-17 // NSFW

Genre: Series | Mafia!AU | Crime!AU | Angst | Romance/Fluff

Pairings: Jin x OC | Taehyung/Hoseok x OC | Yoongi/Jungkook x OC

Warnings: Graphic Violence, Heavy Language, Angst, Slow Burn, Smut

Previous Chapters: Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || Admin E’s WP || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 2,163

Tag List: @prisczero, @pinkpjmin, @btsaudge, @flowerwrites06, @unoriginal-username15432, @halussali

CHAPTER 36: SAVE ME

“I want to breathe, I hate this night. I want to wake up, I hate this dream.”

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

When she saw Min Yoongi being wheeled into the hospital’s emergency room, Raelyn pulled herself away from her assigned task almost immediately. Her heart hammered heavily against her chest and her forehead broke out into a cold sweat. She couldn’t hear the people calling her name and she blindly began digging through her pockets for her cell phone.

Did any of the others know what was happening?

Because she wasn’t his assigned nurse, there was no way for her to be directly involved in his treatment. Half an hour later, she was handed a coffee by one of her co-workers as they attempted to quell her concerns. They didn’t know what her connection with the patient was, but Raelyn knew not to open her mouth. The less they knew, the better. Everyone was better off that way.

Raelyn wanted to call Hoseok on instinct. She stopped herself, swallowing the heavy lump in her throat. Instead, she called Taehyung. He did his best to get her nerves to settle, telling her that it would take an act of some deity to pull Min Yoongi into his grave. He was just that stubborn. This got her to laugh a little and she sighed, feeling a little better than she had a few minutes earlier. Unfortunately, Taehyung was in Osan and wouldn’t be back in Seoul until later that afternoon. However, he did promise that he’d get one of the guys over to the hospital when Yoongi was cleared for discharge.

Her friend and fellow nurse, Seyeong, approached her just as she hung up with Taehyung. “Raelyn-ssi,” she called softly as Raelyn slipped her phone into her pocket, “are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, though she didn’t feel it, “how is he doing?”

“It was fatigue mixed with an anxiety attack.” Raelyn’s brows furrowed as Seyeong continued. “He experienced some shock, but he’s stabilized and resting.”

“That’s good.”

It was the only thing that Raelyn could say without falling apart herself. She nodded her head at the appropriate moments when Seyeong explained his condition, but the woman wasn’t really listening. There were too many other things filling her head. Mostly questions that she knew she wouldn’t be getting the answers to anytime soon.

Why the hell does this keep happening?

Once she was left alone, Raelyn unconsciously bit her thumbnail as her eyes narrowed. This was crazy. Anyone would think this was crazy. Who would go out of their way to bring someone back into the fold when it was obvious that they were competition? Wasn’t it normal to want to wipe out any obstacles that would potentially stand in a person’s way, no matter what avenue it was in reference to?

While a more twisted and jaded side of Raelyn could understand the thrill of wanting to taunt and torment an opponent, this seemed just shy of overkill. Yoongi was in the hospital because something shook him to the point of falling out. That or he was stressed and doing a terrible job of burying it down inside of himself. She hadn’t wanted to bother him with twenty questions, allowing him time to relax and to put whatever disturbed him out of his mind if even for a moment.

She toyed with the idea of calling Eden, but after the altercation she had with Yoongi at the hospital last time, she decided against it. The two of them would just wind up arguing about why he was in the hospital in the first place. Both of them would stroke out before either of them was able to get a word in edgewise.

Sighing, Raelyn angrily began scratching at the back of her head. No. This wasn’t going to work. She had to get the answers straight from Yoongi himself. Taehyung was sweet, but he always tried to cover things up as best he could. Mostly because he knew how much their old life stressed Raelyn out. They were supposed to be finished with that life and things continued to seemingly spiral out of control.

Making her way toward Yoongi’s room, she looked over his chart to see what medication they were giving him. It was a mild sedative, enough to get him to relax and maybe help him sleep. Who knew how long he’d been doing things without sleeping at this rate? Once she was able to ascertain that it was the proper dosage, she quietly slipped inside.

It took her a minute for her sight to adjust to the low light of the room provided by a small lamp. The ECG monitor beeped steadily, his heart rate normal and showing that he was, indeed, resting. Raelyn closed the door quietly behind her, the latch catching with a soft click. There was a humidifier by his bedside and his attendants seemed to have adjusted his bed so that he was sitting up as he slept.

She sighed again. Okay, maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all.

As someone in the medical field, the last thing she wanted to do was pull someone out of the comfort of sleep.

Raelyn turned slowly, intent on leaving the room, when she heard movement behind her. Her hand froze, hovering just above the doorknob.

“Raelyn-ah,” he heard Yoongi grunt. She turned around to see him sitting up full, the blankets shifting around in his lap as he did so.

She turned back around to face him. “Did I wake you?”

“Who can sleep when you exist so loudly?”

Raelyn frowned, unsure of what to make of that statement. Yoongi’s wistful smirk, however, showed that he was merely teasing. She crossed the room, plopping down into a nearby chair as he pressed a hand to his forehead. She noticed the look of disapproval on his face at the IV attached to his arm. When Yoongi attempted to remove it, Raelyn smacked his wrist on reflex.

“Don’t even think about pulling that out until you’ve been discharged,” she snapped, giving him a warning glare which he huffed at.

The two of them sat in silence – both probably processing the moment shared between them. It wasn’t often that Raelyn spent time with Yoongi alone. When Hoseok and she were still together, she interacted with all the other boys – lower and upper tiered alike. But rarely was she allotted alone time with any member as an individual. In fact, she felt she’d gotten to know them better when she was no longer the boss’s girl. The title came with its privileges, sure, but that also meant she was placed on a glass pedestal that she felt would shatter at any given moment.

Truth be told, she always felt Yoongi disliked her; for reasons completely all his own. On the flip side, she never really tried to bridge the gap between them either. Yoongi kept to himself, busy moving in and out of the thick of things alongside Jungkook. He never once hinted that he knew any of Raelyn’s friends, let alone that he was even dating Eden back then. Then again, she’d kept her own connection to the Golden Jackals a secret herself.

Now that everything was out in the open, Raelyn wondered where the time had gone.

“Yoongi-ah,” she murmured while looking at him. He raised a brow, silencing urging her to continue. “What happened?”

For a long while, all Yoongi did was stare at her; as if he was mentally cracking the cogs in his head to determine how to best answer the question. He blinked a few times, brushing his hair out of his eyes before folding his arms across his chest.

“Nothing you need to concern yourself over,” he answered simply, causing the muscle near Raelyn’s jaw to pulse angrily.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me, Min Yoongi?” Raelyn’s voice went up an octave as she rose from her chair. He followed her with his eyes. “You are now the third person connected to me in some way to wind up in the fuckin’ hospital! Why should I not be concerned about this?”

Yoongi frowned. “Because there isn’t a single thing you can do about it.” The directness of the statement was like a punch to her gut, causing her to take a step back. His expression was icy and so was his tone. “Telling you what happened won’t change anything, so why bother?”

Raelyn felt her heart sink to the bottom of her stomach and she fell into the chair, semi-defeated. Why was he the second person to seemingly knock the wind out of her sails? What was so damn heavy that they felt the need to try and chase her off like none of this mattered? Raelyn clenched her jaw, furious at being dismissed in such a way.

“Listen up,” she said, her ire bubbling near the surface, “there is only so much that you guys can do to keep us in the dark. We’re going to find out eventually.”

He scoffed as he cut his eyes at her. “You find out and then what? Huh?” Raelyn blinked, unsure of what he was getting at. “You’re either going to get caught up in this nonsense until it settles, or you’ll turn tail and run. Those are pretty much your only options.”

She opened her mouth to say something, but found she couldn’t find the right words to throw back at him. Didn’t she have a rebuttal for this? She normally did. In this instance, however, Yoongi seemed to knock the fight right out of her.

“So, I guess the only real question you should be asking yourself now,” he broached, causing her to meet his gaze, “is how long do you plan on sticking around this time?”

Even though Yoongi was a few feet away from her, when he leaned forward, Raelyn instinctively leaned back in her chair.

“Because I can tell you right now that things aren’t going to be pretty. Not for a while.”

Raelyn’s vision began to swim momentarily. It was like she was hearing Jimin’s words all over again. They held a different tone, but the implication was still there. Each of them were telling her to make a choice. Even Taehyung had asked her to believe in her, to have faith that she wouldn’t be left alone. She wanted to believe him. There wasn’t a reason for her not to. They’d proven time and again that they were steadfast and willing to walk the hard road together – side by side.

So why was she so afraid to walk with them?

“I don’t know what’s going to happen from today on,” he said, cutting through her thoughts, “and I don’t want to think about it. I tried to keep Eden as far away from this nonsense as possible and she still managed to stumble her way into this shit.”

Relieved that the pressure was off her, even for a moment, allowed Raelyn the chance to regain her voice. “That is her choice, Yoongi-ah. You tried to take it from her once already. She’s a grown ass woman and can make her own decisions.”

He rolled his eyes, averting his gaze to stare at his phone on the nightstand by the bed. It vibrated relentlessly as Jungkook’s name flashed across the screen. Neither of them made a move to answer it.

“Yeah, well,” he finally said after the phone stopped buzzing, “she’s made that clear enough. I don’t need you to remind me of that.”

Raelyn narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t let your own regrets get in the way of other people’s progress.”

There was a flash of anger that danced over Yoongi’s gaze as his eye-line met hers. She didn’t waver, despite how scary he appeared at that moment.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m not stupid and I’m not blind,” she said, pushing her glasses up along the bridge of her nose. Raelyn’s arms folded across her chest slowly. “You may have messed things up with her, but that doesn’t mean Jungkook will.”

“Raelyn…” Yoongi growled out her name in warning but she didn’t heed it.

“Their relationship has nothing to do with you.”

“Jungkook is my brother!” he bellowed, causing her shoulders to tense up slightly.

She took a breath. “Stop using him as an excuse.”

Raelyn knew she was treading on dangerous ground, but this was something she’d been wanting to say to Yoongi for a while. Ever since she found out that he was the Yoongi who’d broken her best friend’s heart.

“Eden is choosing to stay by Jungkook’s side. After everything that’s happened, she’s making the choice for herself. Something you never took the chance on.”

Rising from the chair, she could feel Yoongi’s eyes following her. “And you’re right about one thing, Yoongi-ah.” Taking a moment to look over his monitors, she let her gaze linger on his for a moment longer before making her way toward the door. “It’s time I made a choice of my own.”

23 notes · View notes

diyunho · 4 years

Text

The Joker x Reader - “What Death Tastes Like” Part 3

Scarecrow’s daughter might be only 22, yet the terminal lung cancer she was diagnosed with six months ago didn’t discriminate against her age; the young woman didn’t show worrisome symptoms until it was too late. Y/N always had a fascination for the much older King of Gotham and despite the consequences, maybe it’s finally time to do something about it.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5

You’re done sampling the food that J brought over, quite annoyed he lied about the crepes; it was probably the only reason why you opened the door for him. Or maybe it was a different motive that you don’t like to think of because… what’s the point anyway?

“Crane said he added a new ingredient to your capsules,” The Joker brings it up. “I have no idea how he was able to get Cromyxillium since it’s just in experimental phase; I suppose he has awesome connections,” your guest chews one last bite of cashew salad.

“I know, he texted me but I didn’t answer back… I’m mad at him… I’m mad at everything these days,“ you admit and The King of Gotham piles up the empty styrofoam boxes, calculating how much money Scarecrow spent on a product that might be able to improve your condition.

Y/N watches him absent minded, too preoccupied with her problems to realize The King of Gotham is attentive to her words.

“I used to help my dad develop my remedy, still nothing works and he entirely immersed himself in this ridiculous task of saving me from terminal cancer. He ignored Evelyn for weeks until she left: she understood what he was doing up to a certain level; when it became an obsession…” and you sigh, aggravated by your father’s stubbornness. “I told him he has to patch up their relationship; I don’t him to be all alone after I’m gone…” you sulk and J grabs the containers, dumping them in the trashcan near the table.

“Yeah, Crane will probably be very lonely without you…” and J stops his innuendo when he comprehends how it sounds. “On a positive note,” The Clown Prince of Crime stretches, “I’m actually here to ensure you’re ok taking the capsules containing the new ingredient. Your father asked me to and I am notorious for being this…this selfless person ready to offer my services,” J over exaggerates his ability to sympathize with your situation. “He also warned me not to try anything funny. I don’t understand why I’m not allowed to share any of my funny jokes; doesn’t make any sense,” the distorted interpretation of your parent’s threat almost prompts Y/N’s smile.

“You probably pushed for this visit, taking advantage of the fact that me and my dad had a fight, hm?” you bluntly describe the truth and J can’t defend his absurd statements because your cell phone starts ringing; you glare at the screen, debating if you should answer or not.

“Is that him?” The Joker inquires and you nod a yes while deciding to accept Scarecrow’s call.

“Hello…” you sneak out on the patio as J figures he should walk to his car in order to retrieve the duffel bag fixed in advance for his sleepover.

*****************

Your conversation lasted for about 20 minutes thus The Joker jumped in the shower lacking any type of permission from Y/N; perhaps it could be the reason for your abrupt intrusion in the cozy bathroom.

“Can I take a shower with you?” he hears your question and for once J is uncertain of his reply, yet he is not the kind of person to show reluctance no matter the context.

“It’s your place, isn’t it?” he grumbles and distinguishes your silhouette beyond the steamy glass panels quickly stripping your clothes.

The Joker continues to scrub his skin, undisturbed by your request: he simply doesn’t care if you join him or not.

“I’m using your stuff,” J announces and your arms suddenly hug him from behind.

“You can use whatever you want,” your lips kiss the dragon tattoo on his back a couple of times and he doesn’t even turn around to peek.

“I gotta wash my hair,” he mutters and you brush your lips against his shoulder, sweetly offering:

“I can wash it for you.”

“I got it!” Y/N’s demand is cut off immediately; you’re so humiliated by his lack of interest you curse the dumb choice of being so straightforward: it’s not the first time he shows zero attraction towards his daughter’s best friend.

Your arms release the embrace and The Joker reprises his important chore while hearing you fumbling with toiletry items: you are finishing off your routine at an increased speed, willing to exit out of there as soon as possible.

A few minutes of silence, then The Clown Prince of Crime finally pronounces an insolent remark:

“I hope you saw a naked man before, Y/N! I don’t wanna be accused of traumatizing you. If it really makes you feel better, you can wash my hair.”

No smarty pants attitude rendered upon him and J gazes where you stood only to notice you’re gone: after quietly tiptoeing out of the shower, Y/N took her medications and prepared for the night ahead; she plans for J to sleep in the second bedroom at the small cabin, thus she will spend the night on the couch in the living room, watching TV until she’ll doze off.

“Miss Crane,” The Joker emerges from the bathroom in a t-shirt and shorts. “Are we cuddling on that couch or do we have further arrangements?”

“Spare bedroom,” you grouchily mumble, getting comfortable under the blanket.

“I thought we’re cuddling buddies,” he pretends to be offended at your affirmation mostly since pushing the limit is encoded in his wretched DNA.

“We’re not cuddling buddies!”

“My bad,” he grins. “I guess I was misled by your actions at the mansion.”

He has such a nerve bringing that up!

“I’m not the type of person to force myself on women,” The Joker innocently informs, “but can I watch TV with you? I’ll camp on the floor by the sofa which is my way to hint I need a bunch of soft blankets to pile up so I won’t break my back. I mean, it’s not very nice of you to deny me access on the couch; must I remind you I granted you free passage in my bed when you asked for it?”

“Are you for reals?!” an increasingly fuming Y/N shrieks slowly rolls out of her relaxing nest. “You were horrible to me and then tried to make it better just because you worried I’d tell Emma or my father! Well, rest assured: I’m not a snitch! You truly don’t have to extend your good will to such lengths on my account! It’s not necessary, ok?! You don’t have to drive here to bring my capsules, you don’t have to bring me food. You don’t have to do anything!!”

“Watch your tone!” J growls, displeased with your feisty attitude. “Do I have to remind you who barged into my privacy to take a peek at me naked?”

Your eyes are big at his derogatory insinuation: he’s playing stupid regarding the incident.

“I barged into your privacy?!” you shout, aggravated. “How can…”

“Umm…” The Joker interrupts, “…your nose is bleeding.”

You didn’t even detect the blood trickling down your skin and you touch it, confused. The King of Gotham watches you a few hesitant steps before you unexpectedly collapse to the ground. “Hey!” his voice echoes in and out. “Hey what’s wrong?... … Can you hear me?”

There’s this high pitch taking over your mind and you can barely discern bits and pieces of a conversation J is carrying with your father. You’re not even aware you’re in a moving vehicle, that’s how much you lost grip on reality.

“What’s in for me if I bring her over, huh?”

“I compensated you!! Two Nightmare ampoules, a small fortune on the black market! Get off your fucking high horse and bring me my daughter, would you?!” an exasperated parent admonishes.

“Maybe I will stop the car and let nature follow its course,” The Joker fights back Scarecrow’s affront, yet your dad has plenty on his plate .

“If you do such a thing and she dies, I’ll hold you responsible and trust me when I say you don’t want me to hold you responsible!!!” the serious ultimatum prompts your chauffeur to take a sharp turn on Highway 68. “Am I on speaker?” Jonathan checks without given his apparent opponent a chance to rationalize his behavior.

“Yes!” J snarls, pissed at the stupid rescue mission entrusted to him.

“Y/N, hang in there! I’ll get stuff ready by the time you arrive, alright?” Scarecrow encourages his daughter, afraid of the severe consequences of the experimental drug she ingested.

“Mmmm,” you moan in your daze, not being able to respond.

“Keep her alert; we can’t have her sink into a coma! I have to formulate an IV mixture to flush the Cromyxillium out of her system!”

“She’s completely out!” The Joker states although there’s nobody at the other end of the line anymore. “Who’s we anyway?!” he huffs and elects to give it a go regardless. “Y/N, how many kids we would have had if we were married?... … … … … I think the precise answer is at least 4, am I correct?” J blabbers on since you don’t engage in the conversation. “Great…I’ll be held liable for your demise,” he bites his lower lip, vexed things didn’t shine too bright for him; in fact, no matter how hard The Clown tries the blame it on somebody else, he dug his own hole on this one.

****************

You’re not sure how long you’ve been in the darkness, but the sharp poke in your arm makes you groan in pain.

“I’m sorry honey,” your father whispers. “We have to keep the IV for an hour, then I can take the needle out.”

“D-daddy…” you find the strength to stammer. “Am I… am I dying…?”

“No… No… I won’t let you die…” Scarecrow kisses your forehead, upset you don’t seem fine at all. “It’s my fault, I didn’t think you’ll have a reaction to Cromyxillium, not the way I bound the particles with the rest of the molecules.”

“You didn’t test it?” The Joker intervenes into a dialogue he should steer clear off.

“No, I didn’t have time to test it!” Jonathan hatefully stares at the man he wishes to strangle on the spot. “I don’t have time for anything!! Do you understand? My daughter is dying!! I’m not even that kind of doctor yet she’s breathing nevertheless due to my capability of manipulating compounds! Y/N would be 6 feet under with traditional chemotherapy, which proves I am doing a few things right!!! If Emma was sick, I’m certain you wouldn’t run your mouth like you do now!”

J wiggles in his chair, definitely about to erupt at Crane’s justified tirade.

“I’m so cold…” you utter, the ruckus adding to your general discomfort.

“That’s normal, it means the intravenous remedy is working; I’ll bring more covers,” Jonathan strolls out of the room only to gasp upon his return: J is snuggling with you, totally oblivious to your parent’s stupefied question: “What the hell are you doing??!!”

“I got off my high horse and I’m keeping her warm,” J stresses the importance of his random deed. “It’s not cheap thought! I demand…”

“You demand nothing!” Scarecrow covers you with more layers, irritated The King of Gotham has the audacity to milk out benefits in these circumstances; the latest wants to protest Jonathan’s vehement denial while not being conceded the prospect of such luxury:

“Dad…” you reach out your left hand and he sits by you, keeping the shaky fingers on his face. “Did… did you call Evelyn?” you barely blink, exhausted from the intensive treatment.

“I will…”

“You have to; I don’t want you to end up alone… She loves you… You could have more children with her… or at least one more…”

Jonathan Crane inhales, flustered his daughter is worried about him when she should worry about herself.

“I could have more kids, but don’t you know you’re irreplaceable?” he kisses your wrist and pretends to brush off the agony building up in his heart. “Don’t cry honey,” he wipes your tears, then casually shoves The Joker’s arm since is wrapped around your waist. “Your help is no longer required,” Scarecrow hints and his advice falls on deaf ears: J has important news that might switch the balance in his favor.

“I also called Emma on my way here to report about Y/N’s ordeal; she’s cutting her trip to New York short and I received strict orders to make myself useful until her arrival. Now, unless you want to deal with another pain in the ass besides your offspring, I suggest you tolerate my presence!”

Jonathan curls up in a ball on the vacant side of your bed, relieved to see you’re napping. "I didn’t feel the urge to punch someone in ages!” he sneers.

“Likewise!” The Joker barks too from behind your shoulder. “How come she passed out again?” he switches the subject and Jonathan explains without any trace of enthusiasm.

“I included a serum that promotes nice dreams in her IV bag: she’ll be in a deep sleep and envision things she likes.”

“Oh, that’s awesome. I’m sure I’ll pop up in there then,” the excited Clown Prince of Crime emphasizes to your father’s disapproval.

“I said things she likes!”

**************

10:12am

“Hello Miss Crane,” you are greeted as you narrowly open your eyes; it takes a minute to recollect from the dizziness and confusion of last night’s episode.

“Where’s my dad?” you lick your dry lips, noticing J by the windows.

“At the lab; he’s consulting with some doctors or whatnot and left me in charge,” he effortlessly forges half a truth with half a lie.

“Where’s my phone? I want to talk to him.”

“I think I left it at the cabin, I was in a hurry to get you here.”

“You drove me?...” you skeptically interrogate.

“Yeah, you don’t remember?”

“No…” you stretch while touching the band aid placed where the needle used to be. “Where’s Emma?”

“On her way back to Gotham; she called several times and tried talking to you but you were out.”

“Was I?...”

“U-hum,” J shakes his head. “I reckon she promised she’ll assist with your birthday party next week and she’s terrified you’ll kick the bucket in the meantime. She didn’t precisely articulate these sentences, but I‘m her dad: I can read in between the lines,” the proud Joker blurs out, loving the shocked look you display. “Am I invited to the celebration?”

You signal a no and he’s not discouraged by your vehement denial.

“Can I bring Mara?”

“Absolutely not!!!”

“Oh, so I’m actually invited but not her?”

He takes advantage of the speechless Y/N, setting up the stage for his own benefit:

“I can work with that,” he glares at you, gratified. “However, I can’t show at a party without a date; it’s not dignifying for a man of my social status. This leaves us with only one solution.”

“NO!” you protest because you can estimate his proposal.

“Cool, then we have a deal Miss Crane: you got yourself a date!”

“I already have a date!”

“Who?” The Joker smirks.

“Sam is my date for my birthday.”

“Sam as in Bane’s son?”

“Yes,” you squirm under the blankets, uneasy at the concept of having J as partner for the upcoming bash.

“Pfft,” he huffs. “That’s a huuuge load of baloney,” your own words from last night are used by the obnoxious green haired menace. “I’ll pick you up Wednesday at 3pm, ok?”

“The party is here at my house!”

“Ok, then you pick me up at 3pm.”

“I’m not picking you up!” you scoff at his nonsense.

“Damn, you’re hard to negotiate with,” The Joker scratches his chin. “Fine, I’ll bring myself here.”

You contemptuously stare at him, appalled he keeps on insisting when you declined his plan. On top of everything, the whole universe is getting the confirmation today that Jonathan Crane’s genius is frankly skipping a generation since you enunciate:

“Don’t be late!”