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ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa · 2 months

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Co-parenting Found Family

[Miu (has a baby), Rantaro, Tsumugi & Kokichi friend group, Saiouma]

Me: you ever read a crackfic one-shot and realize you'd want to read a serious longfic with the same premise? cause now I am thinking of this stupid.. pregnant Miu shows up to saiou's apartament, asking Kokichi for help but instead of going with the crap about her not realizing she's pregnant for this long, I would like it to be angst inspired by her lhs

Clown: Yessss!!! I read that one!!! Absolutely loved it, mostly because I'm a sucker for them navigating something like this so ridiculously

Me: I liked it too, the joke about her not being able to tell rubbed me the wrong way, but it was actually nice after that, I would read more of it if they write a continuation

Me: basically, Miu ghosts everyone for a few months, not that unusual, she can disappear in her projects, she pops back up to brag about the prize she got for it when she's done, but not this time, this time she shows up to saiou's apartment, severely pregnant and devastated turns out she jumped headfirst into a relationship with some guy, tried to go through with her baby-trapping idea from LHS, because, hello abandonment issues, and for a bit it looks like she's exactly where she wants to be, but then, only weeks before she's due the guy ditches, leaves some note about realizing he's too young to be a father, and he's gone also, I'd add https://archiveofourown.org/series/976308 friend group to the mix, so while Ouma is the first person she comes to, the whole gang unites to help her

Clown: The friend group coming together instead of another potential partner is clenches fist so good. Miu is someone who is pretty fixated on relationships, it's almost as though in her mind she won't really be completely until someone loves her that way. So to give her a chance to move past that in this situation is just so interesting AND ITS JUST SO GOOD! In my mind for her to come to ouma of all people. Because he provided some familiarity to her, some safe space where she can in her own way step back into her usual. And Ouma would low-key go "shit. I'd jump shit too" and shuichi sends him a look but doesn't dare say anything because he kinda agrees. And it's a complete wreck but it's good

Me: yeah, if it's platonic relationships being as important as romantic ones, if not put first (actually, love Kokichi kicking Shu out so he can focus on comforting Miu), I am an insane person unapologetically I just think. found family coming together to raise a child. like if you agree I've done it before with DICE adopting a kid and I'll do it again

Me: Kokichi would agree with being the father, he's going to use it to gaslit their other ex-classmates (I imagine this is a few years post-HPA) into thinking he's the one who ended up with a kid their friend group + Shuichi know the truth of the arrangement, but that's it she might have been in a state of shock when she suggested it to him, but he's embraced it he Will be "the ultimate dad", (she regrets coming to him instead of Rantaro or Tsumugi when she sees all the custom print tees he got) he's telling Kaito about His pregnancy and childbirth experience the next time he comes over, he's preparing stories when it's aliens that got him pregnant, but no it was actually one of those dinosaur foam pills he swallowed, unless… Kaito, who just wanted to eat lunch with Shuichi: Shuichi, who is a simp: [relieved emoji] he won't help you, Kaito

Aalliyah: He swallowed a watermelon seed

Clown: He's taking this so seriously jagdjdhs He laid an egg [pensive emoji] I love shuichi just going along with it. Everyone expects some sort of something from him and he's just "We planted him in our garden from a toe nail and-"

Ves: this is gonna be the most spoilt baby

Me: on some bigger (as in just about the whole class is there) reunion, (probably a regular event organized by Kaede, like a movie or boardgame night) they look to Rantaro, who's always been the most reasonable of their group, and he's just mentally in the hehe hoho I'm an uncle and doesn't have more to add, he's zeroed-in on the baby, will get back to you later, maybe. [replying to Ves] oh, absolutely Tsumugi is part of the problem, always making something but. there is always somebody who wants to carry the baby never left out of sight

Clown: How do the squad [sunglasses emoji] , eventually find out??

Me: I think after Miu cries herself to sleep Kokichi texts their group chat using their emergency code (sacred, extempt from lies) to get Rantaro & Mugi to come over the next morning so they can tackle it together because in reality, he's a little overwhelmed too, and in the moment doesn't know yet if Shuichi will adjust to this with him so they all eat breakfast together, reassure Miu that they'll be there for her no matter what, start making a plan, a shopping list, beginning of a schedule, then Kokichi has to take the first scary step of the plan - talk to Shuichi about it; but Shuichi is like: yeah, of course because how could he expect his boyfriend not to help out? this is literally why he loves him, of course he will go a little overboard when it's for his found family he knew he had to prepare himself for Something when he saw Miu crying on his couch, at least it doesn't involve committing crimes against whoever hurt her, for now.

Clown: It's a big step!! (And very sudden) Even if it'll be a shared responsibility It's an entire new person! One that ouma is already in his mind accepted he'll be there for. He wouldn't immeadiately expect Shuichi to agree to something like that on a whim, but to know Shuichi is willing to look for solutions, to stay and work through it with him without question because of course. Sobs. Yeah. They've GROWN!!! Planning would be hellish though. Oumas filling the table with hundreds of scribbled papers and everything. Yes absolutely we need to sign this bitch up for maternity classes. Fuck it, Rantaro you go too, check in with us later. Tsumugi!! Need 3 months of baby clothes STAT! SHUICHI!! you just sit there and look pretty…SIKE ERRAND BOY GET THIS FOR ME

Me: let's be real, he's the first to sign up for those parenting classes and buying books about it but yeah, he does make Miu go too, for sure

Clown: Yeah he would!! He wants to be prepared

Me: also not to take from egg's family au directly but https://eggs-can-draw.tumblr.com/post/711383943783579648/omg-i-just-thought-so-byakuya-would-be-like Togami's motherhenning = Kokichi here and, while this is all sweet, I think Miu also needs to get mental health help, get that girl some therapy, she needs to work out the flaw with her logic, because, while it was already proven wrong when the guy left her, she needs to be given alternatives and you know, I think she would struggle with her feelings about the kid, it was supposed to be her ticket to being loved, and the kid is certainly getting a lot of love, but… maybe she would want more attention for herself? how is she meant to score a relationship now? she's going to need help understanding that those people are her family and that she's already loved

Ves: yeah!!! i think kokichi would b pretty blunt abt it too he tells her to shape tf up

Clown: YEEEAHHH. Honestly having a lot of people helping her out, some who give out reassurance easier than others, is a good start. But she is in that place where she's looking for something else to latch on. Usually that's the kid. I feel like had she gone through this alone she'd be one of those mothers constantly flipping through "You ruined my life" and "your the only thing in my life that loves me unconditionally" towards her kid. Ouma definitely helps in the way that he doesn't sugarcoat a thing.

Ves: local cluster b morons try to make a child well-adjusted baby'll be ok tho i think

Clown: Yeah baby will be ok! Everyone gets therapy [gun emoji] by law

Ves: praying that includes whatever poor man miu fucked up RIP king the kid is gonna be FUNNY when it grows up tho

Clown: [2 sob emojis] they'll be the ultimate comedian

Ves: saihara please pretend to be normal they need a balancing influence

Apollo: That kid is gonna commit crimes and use the skills Shuichi teaches them to get away with it

Clown: Somehow they pick up only on saiharas ingrained need to find the answer to questions The question is what would happen if a fork goes into an outlet

Apollo: They manage to somehow get the baby proof thing off the outlet and Kokichi fucking dives to stop them

Clown: Miu is just "let it happen. This is how I learned!"

Apollo: Kokichi just looks at her, blood dripping from the cut in his forehead and mumbles about how 'That explains a lot' Kokichi acts like kids will be kids and thus they get injured so there's no need to panic but the kid trips and he freaks the fuck out Like the kid doesn't even fall over. They stumble slightly and Kokichi is instantly there

Clown: He's the doting one. He's sobbing going, "my god. Your going to hate me one day. I'll be cool!! You can do a drug!"

Apollo: Poor Shuichi wakes up to Kokichi sitting up in the middle of the night because he's stressing over if he's cool or not and Shuichi has to remind him that the kid isn't even a year old yet and thus, has no idea what cool even means

Beez: smh shuichi just lie to him and say he is

Clown: Shuichi for real he needs to know, is he the lamest guy at the daycare?

Apollo: He's too tired to lie right now. Kokichi bursts into tears because is this his way of saying he isn't cool?

Clown: The pure betrayal!! From the one he trusted most!!!

Apollo: It's 2 in the morning [sob emoji] Kokichi has to have his devices taken away because he's staying up searching up how to be the cool guardian Ves: miu and him fight over who's the cool one when the kid is older (it;s neither of them)

Me: I can see Miu and Kokichi arguing about which one of them is cooler, but it's definitely Miu who lets the kid get away with things (like not brushing teeth) to be cool, and would likely mean the letting them do drugs thing, Kokichi would scold her for that and then his version of cool is teaching them lockpicking and making the scary faces, which in turn, she tells him off for

Apollo: Kid says it's Rantaro and both of them decide that he must go /silly Rantaro is riding the high while running away from Miu and Kokichi

springbug: it [rising the baby] surprisingly goes well too sure the kid might pick up on swearing at the age of 5 BUT THAT'S OKAY

Apollo: I mean, kid's gotta learn at some point Okay but father's day at daycare and just Shuichi, Rantaro, Kiibo and Kokichi all show up [idek why Apollo added Kiibo to the mix, he wasn't mentioned before, I didn't skip anything like that]

springbug: "i'm the father" "no i am" "what are you guys talking about? i look just like them" "sorry ma'am, im actually the father"

Me: nah, daycare, kindergarten etc. people think Miu and Kokichi are divorced or something if they come together they probably have some of their barely censored banter; sometimes Kokichi comes in with Shuichi, or it's Shuichi who drops the kid off on his own while he's on the way to work, kid refers to him by his name and calls him "dad's boyfriend"; sometimes uncle Rantaro or aunt Tsumugi come to pick them up; both Miu and Kokichi love to act like they're a single mom, works three jobs when other kids' parents try to ask them about life, and sometimes complain about each other

springbug: imagine gonta taking them to the park and showing him all the cool bugs [smiling face with tear emoji]

Me: once the kid is a bit older they let Rantaro and Gonta organize a camping trip for them and their friends, Kokichi is crying when letting them go because he's a motherhen and his baby is growing up and not scared to sleep away from home and him because the bugs will kill them

Clown: Miu and Kokichi giving their all to be divorcecore so true Everyone has ideas of the outrageous affair that ended their marriage that never happened

Beez: u just know the tea is PIPING among the staff

Clown: They're picking sides for sure

Me: imagine someone on the staff is homophobic so one of those days when it's Shuichi's turn, he gets told that his gay agenda is the reason the kid has to live in a broken family he's so confused the asshole is dealt with, but the anecdote lives forever also, I think Kokichi is the parent that always takes the chance to help out at school when they ask for a volunteer to join the trip or some event at school idk, if it's an universal thing, but here it's common practice that when little kiddos go on trips around town one or two of the class moms are asked to join after the first time the teacher is like "does anyone other than mr. Ouma wants to join? [sweat smile emoji]" but he persists he's just a little to prepared for anything to happen and kids feed into that energy and it becomes entirely beyond the teacher's control

Clown: OUMA BECOMES A PTA MOM AKSHJDHD The children are the next in line to be a part of his criminal organization so he needs to see them regularly, duh

#ndrv3 #danganronpa #miu iruma #kokichi ouma #kokichi oma #oumasai #saiouma #shuichi saihara #rantaro amami #tsumugi shirogane #gonta gokuhara #made by me #writing prompt #writing inspiration #kaito momota #kaede akamatsu

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bythenineshards · 5 months

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Suffering Fools (Chapter Three)

Summary: Things got out of hand, and Buggy has to stay in the infirmary overnight.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Minors DNI, like seriously... don't... improper use of devil fruit powers. There are some mentions of medical work. I'm personally squeamish, so I try to keep it from being too gross.

Tags: Buggy x OC, Canon x OC, Buggy x Syre.

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. I think what I'm gonna do is wait until I actually get to Impel Down in the anime before doing any rewrites. This is just for funsies anyway. Hell, it might work out fine

In the few minutes that Buggy had been strapped to the table, Syre hadn't said a word he understood. She might��ve said something in the time between getting through the door and being strapped to the table but when more guards came in carrying more participants, she devolved into a flurry of hasty yet angry sounding words in her native tongue.

She strode around her office, slamming tools and aggressively flipping through the files. Prisoner after prisoner was brought in and bound to the tables. The infirmary filled with a mix of pained groans and low voiced threats to Buggy. Syre’s tirade ended at Buggy’s side. Lying on the examination table was an absolute wreck of a clown. The only reason she knew it was him was his nose, and even that had a number of imitators. There were so many bumps and bruises he looked like he’d not only lost a fight with a swarm of bees but also a kangaroo. She could hardly tell what was blood and what was paint.

Syre pinned his file to the right of his head with a slam, then with arms crossed, she exclaimed, "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Buggy gave her a pained sheepish smile, "It got out of hand."

Syre scoffed with disbelief and shook her head. She looked fit to burst. “I will see you last, Mon Ch-” She pursed her lips withholding the affectionate nickname with a growl and spitting out, “Prisoner! It seems you like being in pain. Fine, have it your way. Wallow in it for all I care.”

But she did care. Even with his swollen eyes, he saw the worry etched all over her face. It doubled then tripled with the flood of inmates that were brought in for her care. From what the guards had pieced together, Buggy had cracked a string of jokes at the expense of one of the bigger guys on level one. When the inmate had predictably reacted with violence, Buggy didn’t hold back. He drew in more people with joke ladened insults, and before long, there was an infirmary full of inmates.

She sighed, repeating his statement of, “It got out of hand,” in a mocking tone as she unbuttoned her coat and draped it over one of the chairs. Underneath was a simple white tank top and the room got a little quieter. Syre started with a quick examination of each of the inmates. Mentally noting the worst injuries and forming a list of everything she needed to do. Buggy had assumed she would go patient to patient, taking care of all their issues then sending them back but that wasn’t the case. She moved from table to table prioritizing the worst injuries, stitching up and cleaning, tending to broken noses and fingers. With the most gruesome wounds taken care of, she returned to sort out their less worrying injuries. She did keep to her word though. Buggy was left alone for the duration of this.

With nothing better to do than feel the pain he wrought upon himself, Buggy watched Syre tend to the inmates. It was like watching an artist at work. He’d gotten a hint of it the previous day when she reset the broken arm. She spoke softly to each man, explained what she was doing and kept constant vigilance to their comfort. She did not refer to any of them as “Mon Cher.” She didn’t blush or get fuzzy either. Even if she wasn’t tending to him, he caught her looking over at him in concern a handful of times. Each time, if she noticed he was staring she’d scowl at him.

It was during one of the few times she hadn’t noticed when the door opened and two younger Marines entered the infirmary. Syre’s concerned eyes lifted from Buggy to the newcomers. One of the boys had a mop of similarly pink hair to Syre and the other was taller and blond.

“Bonjour!” Syre called to the pair, cheerful if not a little tired. It had been a good long time by then, and she hadn’t taken a break since the inmates had been brought in. She rose from her seat and wiped the sweat from her forehead. “What can I do for you?”

The two young men stopped and saluted her, and she gave a halfhearted return salute. The pink haired one spoke for the pair, and Buggy groaned with his peppy demeanor, “Ma’am we’ve been sent to assist you, I’m Koby, and this is Helmeppo.”

“Enchanté I welcome the help. You may call me Syre or Doctor. Whichever you prefer,” She led them through the infirmary, “Did they tell you what has happened?”

“Not really, Ma’am,” Helmeppo replied, starting at the realization that he hadn’t used either of the names she’d given them and corrected, “Doctor…”

Syre gave a pleasant little giggle and waved off the folly, “Ma’am works too.”

“We aren’t medically trained either, Doctor,” Koby added, “But we’re willing to learn.”

Syre looked a little worried about that fact but shrugged. The worst of it was taken care of, and she didn’t mind teaching them something that might come in handy later. If she couldn’t be out helping her brothers in arms, then she could at least teach others to do it for her. She lingered near Buggy’s table and scowled at him, “Prisoner E-8200 started a fight that got out of control, and now we have to pick up the pieces. I’ve taken care of the worst of it so far, but there’s still a lot to do.”

Koby surveyed the prisoner on the table with a tilt of his head, “Is that Buggy the Clown?”

Syre narrowed her eyes on Buggy, “Yes. It is indeed a clown.”

She sauntered away, ignoring the apologetic grin he offered her. The boys watched her carefully, and though Buggy couldn’t really hear all that she was saying, he heard the patience in her tone. She taught them what to look for and how to properly clean the abrasions and ease swelling. She explained what was in each salve and what it did for the patient. Helmeppo took on stitching up a split in an inmate's forehead and went green upon feeling the flesh and had to stop before finishing. The clown raucously laughed at the boy’s queasy face, earning him another glare from Syre as she came to face the boy. She placed a comforting hand on his back.

“Sorry…” He said between dry heaves.

“It’s alright,” Syre said, “breathe, Mon Chér. In through the nose and out through the mouth.”

When he heard his nickname being used for the Marine, Buggy frowned, but Syre didn’t see it. She rubbed the boy’s back and used her foot to slide a trash bin over in front of him. She didn’t think he was going to vomit, but it was better to have it than not. “It’s different than you expect and takes some getting used to. When I was taught, we had two people in the class faint.”

“Really? It just felt like-” Helmeppo pinched his fingers together and heaved again, sending Buggy into a fit of cackling. Syre stood and approached Buggy. His laughter was smothered with the glove she shoved into his mouth.

“Behave or I’ll send you back just as you are.” She threatened then returned to her work.

As they worked, the boys told Syre all that was going on outside the walls of the prison. Buggy wasn’t really listening, but he picked up that they were also discussing their training and how it compared to hers. Swapping stories and common experiences in training, it was all too sappy and wholesome for him.

Hours later, Koby and Helmeppo were tending to the last few inmates when Syre came to loom over Buggy. She looked tired, and his mind covered up the slight pang of guilt he felt with the idea of this being how she would look after he was done with her. If he had his way, of course. Wordlessly, she checked his vitals and removed the glove from his mouth. She checked to see if his nose was broken, though she had no idea how she would fix it if it was. Her touch was tender as she squeezed and prodded. The honk his nose made was so unexpected that she cracked a smile and tittered before smothering it down to being angry again. Normally, Buggy would’ve been enraged that someone dared to laugh at his nose. However, he was so relieved to see how thin her angry facade was that being upset by it didn’t spring to mind. Next, she gingerly ran her hands over his chest, arms, and each finger to check for breaks. By the time she’d gotten to his toes, Koby and Helmeppo had released the last of the other inmates back to their levels. They approached the table and stood at attention.

“Anything else, Doctor?”

She shook her head then looked up at them. “Actually, yes, when you return to your superior officer, could you tell the Warden that I intend to keep Prisoner E-8200 overnight? I fear for his life due to retaliation from his fellow inmates.”

“Yes, Ma’am!” Koby replied, both boys giving her a salute.

“Thank you for your help,” Syre smiled and the boys left her and Buggy alone.

She remained quiet as she finished checking his legs and feet for breaks. Having worked down one side and back up the other in silence. She was writing something down in his file when she abruptly asked.

"Are you doing this to see me?"

A big toothy grin spread across his face.

Her eyes softened but then redoubled in rage.

“Mon Chér, I am not worth this!" She gestured to the room and then himself.

"Speak for yourself, Sweetness. I'd endure a lot worse to see that face." He met her eyes. She was fuming, yet he still dared to smirk at her, "Even that face."

Syre exhaled a substantial amount of fury but said nothing.

"Even now, you're the nicest thing in this hellhole." Buggy said and he saw her hinder her writing.

“I do not want to be the cause of pain and suffering!” She retorted, “Did you not see the other men in here?”

“I don’t give two shits about those bastards.”

“Look what they’ve done to you!” She exclaimed, her eyes soft and brimming with worry, “You are hurt, and it’s my fault! I’m afraid to send you back for fear of what they will do to you! Or worse, what you will do to get back in here to see me.”

“Sounds like you should just keep me here,” Buggy grinned wickedly.

Syre rolled her eyes and muttered something he didn’t understand.

“If it makes you feel any better, once those idiots were so distracted fighting each other, I slipped out unnoticed.”

This earned another exasperated sigh. The mask of anger was thin, but it was iron lined. Once she cataloged all of his injuries, she worked in silence. This was his punishment. She knew he liked hearing her talk, so she was withholding her pretty accent. The softness in her eyes was all but gone, too. Syre was cold as she cleaned him up and repaired the damage. He hadn’t been lying. If he wouldn’t have said anything, she would’ve likely guessed that he had snuck out of the brawl before any non-superficial damage was done. So, while he looked fairly gruesome, he’d survive. While she was at it, she removed his stitches. If he had just waited a few days, he would’ve been in here without the need for the fight.

“There you are.” She said and rose from her seat beside him. Syre ran a hand through her curls as she made her way to her desk. Stopping to pull on her coat and fumble with the buttons. Looking down at herself, she sighed. Her uniform pants were bloodstained. Buggy heard a drawer open and close along with some grumbling. He strained against the leather strap to see what she was doing. Syre didn’t quite like the way the dress blues skirt looked with the coat, but it would have to do for now. She was exhausted but courtesy of the clown, she had a mountain of paperwork. She ignored his attempts to get her attention, and after a while, he gave up.

“You called that boy Mun Share.” He said when listening to her scribble in files got too boring.

The writing stopped, but she didn’t turn to look at him, “What?”

“Mun Share? That’s my nickname.”

Syre scoffed, “Mon Chér means My Dear. I call-”

“You call me Dear?” She could hear the smirk in the smug bastard’s voice.

She exhaled through her nose in frustration, “You are trying to make me fuzzy. It is not going to work.”

“But you’re so much fun when you’re fuzzy.”

She whirled to look at him, “I have paperwork to do.”

“Paperwork later, Sweets,” He whined, “come here and let me make it up to you.”

She turned away with a huff.

“Come on Dollface-”

Syre didn’t even turn to look at him, “Another word and I will gag you again. Don’t try me, Mon Chér.”

Buggy wasn’t sure how long he was laying there when she finally pushed out from the desk. She stretched out her legs then stood to do the same with the rest of her. She meandered over to his table, she knew it was a horrible idea but she was drowsy and needed to move. He didn’t say anything despite being tempted. Having her glove in his mouth wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t comfortable either. Her bare fingers grazed the swelling around one of his eyes, and she nodded, he assumed that was a good thing. He managed to catch her gaze, and to his surprise, she smiled just a little. It wasn’t exactly a smile. Her eyes got that soft look in them, but that was good enough for him. She blew out a breath and unstrapped his head, letting him roll his neck.

He watched as she unbuttoned the coat again, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth, then morphed into a wide grin. He could see now that she had changed into a different uniform than before, and he liked this one better, “Taking me up on my offer?”

Syre rolled her eyes, but of the handful of times he’d seen her do it, she didn’t even look annoyed with him, just amused. She folded the coat into a little rectangle and set it on his chest.

“Doll, folding it makes it a terrible blanket.”

Still no words. Syre moved to the head of the table and looked down at him. Careful not to hurt him, she released his ponytail. He didn’t have to tell her how good it felt to have his hair down, the groan he breathed out when she massaged his scalp was enough to pull her lips into a small actual smile. She didn’t do it for very long, likely to not risk another tent situation. Next, she reached over him to grab the folded coat and slid it under his head. Buggy stared up at her, not sure if he should say anything. Her eyes were hooded, whether from exhaustion or interest, Buggy didn’t care. Either way made his chest was tight, and he stifled the urge to use his Chop Chop powers to get close enough to kiss her.

He could see the conflict in her eyes and which side was winning. She rested on one of her hands, and the other ran fingertips over his stubbled jaw. He leaned into her palm when it cupped his cheek. Her hand was soft and warm, just like the rest of her. Her lips parted when he kissed her bare palm, leaving red smudged across it.

“I shouldn’t do this…” She breathed, withdrawing her hand.

“Why not?” Afraid you’ll get addicted?”

Syre allowed herself to giggle, “No. But I fear you already are.”

Buggy shrugged as best he could, “What if I am? There are worse things than sweet doctors.”

There was a longing in her pretty brown eyes but her lips said, “This is wrong.”

“Wrong? Doc, I want more.”

“I am taking advantage of you, Mon Chér.” She corrected, “You’re a prisoner here, and I have power over you. I could request that you be taken to a lower level for the fighting.”

“Oh but a sweet girl like you wouldn’t do that,” he purred.

She felt a little challenged by that notion. A bit ago, she had considered requesting his transfer to Level Two to keep him from the prisoners he’d severely pissed off. She wasn’t sure one night was going to be enough to cool tensions with them. If he was this vexing while trying to put him from her mind in this manner, just how much did he linger in the minds of those he pissed off? He might have to stay a few days if that was the case.

“I’m in a lot of pain, Doc…” He said and Syre knew what he was asking for.

She crossed her arms and looked at him thoroughly unamused, “Buggy, that’s not going to work.”

“Why not?” He whined.

“I’ve told you, I have an unfair advantage over y-”

“Pssh…” He dismissed her point and rolled his eyes. “Doc, I’m not asking for much. If I’m going to be stuck here all night, the least you could do is have some fun with me. I won’t tell anyone.”

Syre’s cheeks grew warm with that and blew out a breath. Truthfully, she wanted to kiss him. She liked the thrill of it, and from what she could tell, he wasn’t telling anyone, “One kiss, then I have work to do.”

“For now.” He teased, “We have all night to get to everything making your cheeks so red.”

Her kiss was slow, and being upside down allowed for him to suck her lower lip into his mouth with a whimper. He felt her fingers toy with his hair. Caving to a bit of the temptation she felt for him. As she tried to break the kiss, he followed, lifting his head and hoping to coax her into staying without having to pop his head off to pursue her. She sank back down, but the kiss still broke a moment later. Her nose brushed softly over his.

“More…” He pleaded.

Syre giggled, a quiet, enticing sound dangerously close to sensual, “So greedy you are.”

A wide grin spread over his face as she came back for another kiss. He was trying to figure out how he was going to sweet-talk her into getting on top of him when she broke the kiss and moved to sit on the edge of the table at his side. No prodding before she was leaning over him once more. The little moans he tasted from her as she parted her lips set his blood on fire. He’d been doing so well, but now his pants were growing tight.

A million ways he could lure her into assisting him with his growing need flooded his mind, none of them persuasive. His best came with no words as she gave in to her own desire to be closer. Syre straddled Buggy, feeling his erection against her, “Oh…”

Even through his pants, he could feel her heat. She teased it, whether intentionally so or not, grinding herself along his length. Her breath turned ragged between feverish kisses. Excitement coursed through him with two shy words exhaled into his mouth.

“May I?”

He nodded, his reply thick with need, “Please…”

Anticipation turned her hands clumsy as she reached between them. It was agony waiting to feel her and helpless to assist. Buggy groaned, ending in a chuckle. If Syre hadn’t thought she was worth a beating for her sweet face and tender care, then this was. There was no argument her pretty red stained lips could utter that would dissuade Buggy now. He’d risk level two or lower if he could hear the sugary sweet mewl that escaped her as she eased deliciously down his cock.

He gripped the edge of the table as she allowed herself time to adjust to his size. He wasn’t complaining. He was buried to the hilt, and she squeezed him sinfully. The only thing he could ask for now was to be rid of the straps, keeping him from ripping that uniform apart. It was torture being unable to touch her.

Syre braced herself, firmly pinning his chest to the table. She craved friction, but Buggy was quite formidable. Her hips allowed her to test the waters with slow grinding, arousal warming her from within. She reveled in the full sensation of him bottoming out inside of her. It left her a little delirious. He grew impatient with her slow rolling hips and bucked as far as his binds would allow him. The sudden thrust caught her off guard. The gasp strangled a moan, forming a delightful little squeak. A wide toothy grin twisted his face impishly, and he urged her to bounce to hear her do it again.

Bouncing was torment for Buggy. As soon as she started and the breathless moans of, “Mon Chér” and “Mon Dieu”, whatever that meant, mixed with the occasional squeak he was straining against the straps binding him to the table. Her curls bounced, and what was breathless was beginning to lace with vulgarity. Each new noise driving him more and more feral. The worst were her panicked moans of his name in her accent. They were pleading with him, “Oh Buggy…”

He couldn’t take it.

One of his hands detached and gripped her hip, guiding her rhythm while the other lifted to her face, caressing her jaw and his thumb tracing her lower lip. She leaned into his hand. Lips wrapping his thumb and sucking gently, moans vibrating it with a pleasing hum. Syre had been so lost in the moment that it didn’t strike her as strange at first. Buggy felt the second she noticed. Her eyes flew open, and she expected to see that he’d broken the straps and was sitting up. Instead, she saw him on his back with two disembodied hands. Her eyes went wide, and the hand at her face stifled her scream. She tried to push away, but the other detached hand held her there. Buggy would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the way her sex gripped him like a vice.

“Shh shh shh, sweet girl, calm down…” He purred, continuing to buck into her and lead her in their previous pace. She looked down at him in horror, but with each roll of their hips, her eyes got a little lost in the pleasure.

When he was sure she wasn’t going to scream, he relinquished his hold on her mouth. She panted, mixing enchantingly with soft moaning. “You’ve…eaten…”

“Chop chop fruit…” He explained, euphoric now that he was free to touch her.

It dawned on her, “You can… you could…” She moaned, “You could’ve gotten out at any time…”

He chuckled, “But why would I?”

“You hid it?”

He nodded vigorously, “Didn’t want the cuffs or on a lower level.”

“You could’ve told me before this,” She said, a squeak following, “You scared me half to death.”

“Couldn’t have been that scared, you’re still so wet…” He cackled, hands sliding underneath the skirt to grip her thighs hard enough to bruise. He was debating if detaching his tongue to play under her skirt was too much too soon when she gasped and looked toward the door.

Even through her pleasure filled haze, Syre heard the handle to the infirmary door jiggle like an alarm. With a gasp, she hastily dismounted, expecting to feel Buggy pull out of her. Panic welled on two fronts. First, despite her skirt offering her discretion, whomever was coming in would still see... She only had enough time to hear his snickering and see his pants cover where his cock was supposed to be when Domino came in through the door. Realization hit her deep, as deep as the cock still buried between her legs.

#suffering fools #buggy x syre #buggy x oc #female oc x buggy #oc x canon #one piece oc #syre bonne aventure #buggy the clown

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o5-the-daughter · 2 years

Note

Mod question time!

At what point in their life was your muse at their worst? Be it in terms of mental or physical health, emotional stability, general mindset? How do they look back on this era nowadays?

Bonus: what put them in this state and how did they get out of it again? What kind of lasting effects or habits still stick with them?

OOC:

Heed the tags, for obvious reasons!

Seven:

To no one's surprise, losing Mary and, soon after, Mirjam was when Seven was at her worst in just about every sense of the word. For weeks, even a few months after the breach that killed Mary, the responsible units were searching through the wreck that used to be Site-11 [new lore: where it happened lmao] to look for potential survivors and, after a while, bodies and body parts. Because of this, Seven/Clara did not get closure over what actually happened to Mary for quite a while, as the higher-ups refused to declare her dead without evidence. Because of this, the Foundation also didn't pay for a grave, which became an even bigger issue when no body was found and Mary was (and still is) declares missing in action instead. Clara ended up financing the grave mentioned in one memory herself because of this.

This alone was already insult to injury - she was heartbroken on an entirely new level, having never truly lost anyone before, while also trying to get used to the thought of having to raise her baby by herself. And then things got worse, of course.

I won't go into much detail towards the loss of Mirjam since I think I've already described this as best as I can here, but the aftermath.. didn't make things any better, to say the least. The miscarriage (or stillbirth, rather) happened fairly late into the pregnancy at approximately twenty-eight weeks, with no direct rhyme or reason behind it - other than that Clara's mother herself had faced similar struggles, meaning it was, without Clara's knowledge, a genetic risk. Life kind of just went "fuck you" at her. :/

Seven absolutely hates to look back at this time of her life, for obvious and understandable reasons and does her best not to think about these events. As for lasting effects, she developed PTSD from these events, which she only managed to deal with better around the 90s. She is still incredibly scared of losing the people she is close to to the point of occasional paranoia, and even more scared of falling in love again for the same reason. Even, or maybe especially now that she's finding herself slowly falling for Four, these fears are back, stronger than ever - after all, a relationship between them is forbidden and would very likely cost Four, as the newbie, his position.

Eight:

Eight was at his worst in a rather different way between approximately 1945 and 1953 - so including the downfall of The Lesser and Eight's own promotion to his current position. During this time, he was more under Ten's/the Foundation's control than ever before or since; and he came closest to being an actual monster as he has to this date.

It was mentioned once or twice in the past, but in the mid-40s, SCP-3000 and, with it, amnestics were first discovered in 565, with Two/Stefan being one of the main researchers to work on the project from then on. And Eight, relatively early on, took a dose against recommendation because he had been experiencing much greater distress (including nightmares) than before from his past, namely his childhood and the early years with the Foundation in which he was pretty greatly manipulated by Ten. The main cause of this episode was, ironically, that he was starting to realize how bad things actually were - the even greater irony is that Ten nudged him to pressure Stefan into giving him the amnestics.

Fast forward to the aftermath, it was.. not ideal. Due to how new amnestics were at the time, the dosage was higher than it should have been, and erased a very large majority of Eight's memories, including things he wanted to keep. This, of course, made far heavier manipulation on Ten's side (disguised as him 'reminding' Eight) very easy. He was somewhat kept away from Two as well to further help with this, too, and ended up becoming far, far colder than he was before, as well as straight-up cruel at some points. For a good few years, he didn't question a single order from Ten and even found a certain kind of joy in his position as one of the Foundation's henchmen.

Only after his promotion, after he finally became close with Two again, did Eight find back to his 'true self', so to say. While the worst was over by about '53, he was never the same, and a lot of the aftereffects of this time still linger to this day. This namely includes his heavy idealization of Two as his savior, pretty much, but also the way Eight views himself. He knows how he behaved back then was entirely inexcusable (which only gets made worse by the fact that he still struggles to realize just how badly Ten manipulated him) and he will see himself as a monster for the rest of his life because of it.

He also has, on multiple occasions, snapped at people who were close to him for a while and used this part of his past to scare them off from coming too close to him, out of pure fear that he could hurt them since he 'clearly' has this monster hidden inside him. This is why so few of his friendships last longer than a year or two.

#mod.txt #comfort in the chaos #tw death mention #tw miscarriage #tw stillbirth #tw pregnancy #tw unreality #[< amnestics]#tw identity loss #tw manipulation #ask to tag #[I find it very funny that I keep getting these mod questions twice aksksk your enthusiasm and curiosity is appreciated!!]

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bullyhunter--69 · 3 years

Text

"She's so sweet, really."

Pairing: Izuku x fem!reader

Summary: When you and Izuku started dating, you were as happy as could be. He was beyond sweet and caring, and helped you forget about the bad in your life. But after he introduces you to his mother, Inko, and you start to be a more frequent visitor at the Midoriya household, you realize it's starting to take a bigger affect on you than you thought it would. Why can't your mother be like that?

Tw: mentions of family issues/absent family/family death, bottling up emotions and eventually breaking, a stressed Izuku, ends with soft fluff

A/N: This turned out so much longer and more angsty than planned but I'm really proud of it, tell me what you guys think! 🖤 (This is also my first ever angst written so--)

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Today was a beautiful fall day. Colorful leaves fell around you, the sky was tinged with a deep orange, and the soft grass beneath you made your time all the more comfy. You were snuggled next to Izuku beneath a huge tree on campus, who was currently going on and on about his latest quirk findings. The goal you guys originally had set was to review for the upcoming test, but the topic quickly shifted to Izukus day once your fingers intertwined with his and you inquired about it.

"-and so then once I asked Mr. Aizawa about it I found that- Hey.. are you okay (Y/N)?" You really were listening, but had found that you zoned out. Izukus concerned, soft voice brought you back to reality, and a small smile crawled it's way onto your features. "Yeah 'zuku, I'm all good.. I just was thinking about some stuff and was focusing on your voice. It always helps." You ended your reply with a squeeze of his hand, which all together resulted in his face blooming into a shade of deep red.

"Well, uh.. T-thank you, I'm happy to help!" He stuttered out as he felt butterflies all throughout his body. "Oh, also!" Izuku started, turning his body to face you more, holding your hands in his lap with a nervous look in his eyes. "(Y/N), I was wondering.. we've been together for a bit now and I.. I want my mom to meet you."

As soon as the word 'mom' reached your ears, you tensed up. It was always a sensitive topic, even if it wasn't your parental relationships in question. You knew Izuku had noticed, as the hold on your hands got tighter. "I understand if you're scared or nervous but I know She's gonna love you! She already says you're really pretty and smart just basing off what I've shown her.. she really is looking forward to it, and we don't have to stay long if you don't want to." The gentle rub of his thumb on the back of your hand and the puppy dog eyes was enough to soothe your nerves. If Izuku talked so highly of you to her, and if she was anything like him at all, you figured it wouldn't be that bad to meet her. She would be your mother-in-law someday, so you might as well get it out of the way now and not later.

When the day finally came, you were beyond nervous. The thought of meeting Izuku's mother and her not liking you made a wave of sickness and dread fill every inch of your body. Whether it was a friend, or a boyfriend, meeting mothers always gave you a bad taste in your mouth. It brought back all the feelings that you tried desperately to hide away and fight daily.

See, you were almost fully open with Izuku, but there was one thing he didn't know. Your family, to put it bluntly, was shit. Your mother always belittled you for every single little action you ever made and everything about you. Nothing was ever good enough. As a small child, it was always under-the-table, backhanded compliments with passive aggressive undertones, but after the passing of your father, it turned into raw, brutal words. She was never proud, and never actually loved you, she just used your desire to be a good daughter against you. It was cold, hard, manipulative behavior which resulted in you finally refusing to talk to her after you got accepted into U.A. The mental gymnastics you had to go through to hide all of this, especially from Izuku, was taking a toll on you. You never talked of family and never left the dorms, and had an.. unusual amount of luggage stored away in your room. It seemed like you packed your entire life up in a suitcase and ran.

Which is essentially what you did.

As bad as it sounds, you never planned on telling your love any of this. You just needed to forget all of the childhood trauma you were put through and focus on showing your mother she was wrong. Everything she said about your quirk being useless, to you being intolerable and a bad daughter, would be proved wrong. But, the biggest thing you planned to show her? Is that your father would be proud. She always used him against you, and you'd be damned if you wouldn't prove that point the most ridiculous of them all.

A soft knocking on your dorm brought you out of your deep thoughts, and your gaze slid to the door. Your hands shot to your face and you quickly dried your tears. "O-one second, I'm still changing!" You knew in the pit of your gut that it was Izuku coming to pick you up, and your thoughts were confirmed when you heard him on the other side of your locked door. "Alrighty baby, take your time!" God, he sounded so sweet.. this was hell keeping from him, but it kept him from worrying.

The night went on so much better than expected, and it genuinely surprised you. You had never met a woman as sweet as Inko was. She cooked your favorite food and had your favorite drinks, and even baked you your favorite dessert. She asked about how you were doing in school and once the topic of your quirk was brought up, she was beyond ecstatic to hear you talk about it. She even added on how she felt it would be useful in battle. The night was amazing. Nothing felt real, it all was like the fantasies you made up while lying in bed at 4am sobbing, so sleep deprived you almost can't move to get ready for your class that starts in just a few hours. It's what you've always wanted in a mom-- a beautiful, sweet woman who cares.

Why can't your mother be like that?

As the weeks went on and Izuku kept inviting you over for weekly dinner and game nights with him and Inko, you found it harder and harder to conceal exactly how much your mental health was struggling. Yes, you absolutely adored both your loving boyfriend and his equally loving mother, but it was just so fucking.. hard. Every smile she gave you, the loving, motherly twinkle in her eyes when she talked to Izuku, the amazing dinners, the endless support for both of you, the pictures she insisted on taking of you and Izuku-- it was all too much. You started to dwell on this every single night, and resent yourself for how much anger and jealousy you felt. This wasn't right, but you couldn't help it. It wasn't your fault that your mother hated you for every fiber of your being and Izuku had the best mother imaginable. He was your boyfriend, you should be happy.. right?

You didn't realize how hard you had been sobbing until there was a hushed yet firm knock on your dorm door. The tears that blurred your vision made it even harder to read the clock on your nightstand through the pitch black room you sat in, huddle up in a pile of blankets, All Might plushies and Izuku's hoodies.

9:54 p.m.

The pain that was radiating through your torso from the wreck you had become from however long you had actually been crying was torture. It felt like needles were being shoved into your lungs and your heart was being squeezed in a vice grip. Breathing felt impossible. Your throat was raw. But the thing that hurt the absolute worst, out of everything?

"(Y/N)? Baby, please let me in.." Little Izuku's voice sounded like the biggest bomb going off, the jiggle of your door knob making emergency alarms go off in your head. There wasn't any possible way to get out of this, and this might just be your biggest fear. Facing those soft emerald eyes and that sweet smile that has been open and honest with you over the entirety of your entire relationship, and even before. Telling the love of your life all the trauma you've endured, and then willingly decided to hide from him. No.. it's the disappointment that you're positive will shine through his features that's truly your biggest fear.

You don't know how long he had been listening, but one second was more than enough for you to know Izuku wasn't going to leave. He loved you endlessly and never left without making sure you had a smile on your face. So, with limbs that felt like cement, eyes that felt as if you were crying spikes, and an aching heart, you got up and made your way to unlock the door. It took a minute-- your hold on the cold knob firm and extremely hesitant.

3... 2.. 1.

Finally, Izuku had enough room to gently push your door open, and his breath was taken away when he saw you as the golden light from the dormitory hallway illuminated your entirely wrecked appearance.

Bloodshot eyes, make up filled tears streaming down both checks, snot dripping down to you mouth. The cuffs of his hoodie that covered your shaking body were soaked in black, wet mascara. Your hair was messy and tangled. You were.. broken.

After taking in every little detail of your appearance, a struggled gasp last your body when his arms were suddenly around you. The touch of his warmth around you was electrifying, and instantly brought you to your knees. As Izuku shut and locked the door behind him, still holding you in his strong arms, he sighed softly. "What's wrong?"

These are some of the only words that you really didn't want to come out of his mouth. They stung and tore through your heart like the sharpest of blades. They made you regret not opening up sooner, his tone overflowing with worry, fear, and dread. You knew not to make eye contact, but you couldn't even if you wanted to. Once those words entered your ears, soft and delicate as if you would shatter into a million pieces if he spoke too hard, another strangled sob was unleashed out of what felt to be your core.

"S-she's just so sweet.." Your voice, although strained and crackling, came out with an emotion Izuku had never heard from you before. A mixture of jealousy, rage, disappointment, and disgust is all he could pick out, but it sounded like something was hidden beneath it all. Something that you didn't know how to express, so emotions just came seeping out of you in the easiest way.

Picking you up was an easy task, as your body had long ago given up the fight to stay standing. The sweet boy made his way to your bed and sat with you cradled to his chest, your nose tucking away in the crook of his neck instantly to breath in his scent. It calmed you-- he calmed you, but you couldn't help but to shamefully pull your head away and look across the room.

"(Y/N), you have to tell me more. Who is 'she'? I want to help you.." His voice still held a delicate tone, his fingers combing through your hair with one hand and the other still holding you tightly. After what seemed like forever of Izuku just holding you and letting you cry every single ounce of emotion you held in your body out, your sobs slowly came to a stop and you took a soft, shaking sigh.

It was time to come clean.

"'Z-zuku, I'm sorry.." You started, slowly and steadily while trying to steady your breath further. The gentle back rubs from his warm hands helped sooth you, and gave you the strength to continue.

"I haven't been exactly.. truthful with you." As you took a second to find your words and sniffle, you could sense Izuku tilt his head to the side curiously. "You always ask if I'm okay-- if I'm happy-- and I always say that I am. I love you so incredibly much and you do make me feel happy and safe and welcomed and-" Your ramble was cut off with a kiss to your temple, which was a silent signal of Izukus trust and time.

"Because of how incredibly happy you make me, I dont want you thinking that this is your fault at all. Its mine.. I shut you out and bottled myself up when I should have just told you in the first place. I just.. don't know how to say it other than to say it outright."

Your shakey tone made Izukus heart race even more. He was staying calm and supportive on the outside but on the inside, he was a wreck. He was currently going over every single one of his actions, words, and notes that made what you and him were-- absolutely scraping the bottom of the barrel for anything and everything he could have done wrong. That stuff, though, was shoved deep so he could help you, because that was what was important right now.

"I don't.. Izuku, I love you and I love your mother so incredibly much. I feel at home with you guys but it's just so hard. Seeing how sweet and caring she is, how She's invested in both of our lives, how she.. s-she said she loved me.." You body was quickly starting to shake again, so Izuku pulled you in closer. "Why can't my mother be like that?"

There it was. It finally clicked in Izuku's mind. Everytime you avoided the topic of family, how you never had pictures with them, how you never had a place to go to during break, how every day after spending time with him and Inko you seemed drained the next morning as if you had stayed up all night.. it clicked as to what might be wrong, and his suspicions were confirmed when you continued.

"M-my mother hates me and she has my entire life. I have never received an ounce of love or respect from that filthy woman and it's always on my mind. Her degradation and her mocking laugh and her hideous presence. She used my dead fucking dad against me to make me feel like I'd never make it in this world and I just-- I-I want to escape the horrible memories but I can't. I just want a mother like yours.. it's what I've always wanted and I don't understand why I had to be the one stuck with a dead dad and a mockery of a mother. Seeing how absolutely amazing your mom is fills me with love and happiness and a sense of home I've never gotten before but at the end of the day, it just reminds me of how shitty my life was up until I got to U.A. I don't have a mom. I don't have a home. And its not fair that I'm upset over the fact that you having those things happens to remind me of that. I'm sorry."

Izuku was speechless. His comforting ministrations had stopped and he just looked at you. Even with the pitch black void that was your room, his emerald eyes shined bright.. and brimmed with tears.

"I.. I had no idea, baby, I'm so sorry.." Izuku was choosing his words incredibly carefully. He held nothing against you, nor was he upset or disappointed at you. He was a person that could put himself in someone else's shoes very easily and see through their eyes, and your emotional monologue was enough to paint your story for him. He just wanted to comfort you and show you everything was okay.

"I don't want you to be sorry, there isn't any need for you to be. You can't help what your mother put you through, and how horribly unfair to you that it was. Nobody can control how others actions affect them-- it's just how humans are.." Strong arms turned your body to face him, your limbs wrapped around his torso and your cheeks gently held in his hands. As tears streamed down his cheeks, he stared deep into your eyes. "You're so strong and beautiful, and I understand as much as I can. I love you so much.. Baby, to hell with her. I know it's hard, but she doesn't have to mean anything to you anymore. Me and you, and mom, can be our own family. We're your home now.."

A sob managed to choke it's way out of your throat, but this one was different. Your head fell into Izukus neck and you held him as tight as you possibly could, soaking his chest with more snot and tears. His arms held you back just as tightly as he peppered soft butterfly kisses along your hairline. This is how you stayed for the rest of the night until you calmed down and passed out on his firm build. Laying back softly, Izuku tucked you both in and kept his tight hold on you.

"Goodnight, love.. You're home."

#bnha scenarios #bnha smut #bnha x reader #bnha fluff #bnha angst #izuku midoriya #izuku x reader #bnha izuku #izuku #izuku smut #my hero headcanons #my hero academia #my hero imagines

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aiyexayen · 3 years

Note

So uh that essay about how Wei Ying takes after Yu Ziyuan? I am LISTENING

There were two things that really made me start to think about this, one was this tweet which says, "You know what we don't talk about? Wei Wuxian getting his cry-laughing from Madam Yu" and this incredible ChengXian video which sets their relationship to the tune of When Doves Cry and wrecks me every time I watch it (I just watched it now when I went to get the link and I'm whimpering).

As to the first matter:

seems fairly conclusive.

The second matter:

maybe I'm just like my father, too bold maybe you're just like my mother-- she's never satisfied

Was there this much meta thought put into one line of lyrics in a video set to When Doves Cry? Hard to say. There is now, though! Because dang, what a line. Essay under the cut.

There's a (valid) tendency to pull out the ways Jiang Cheng is more like his mother, and the ways Wei Wuxian is more like Jiang Fengmian, especially where their relationship is concerned.

Jiang Cheng wants proof of care through passion, through a willingness to fight. He will provoke and poke at things better left lying, with no shame and no regard to who else is around, dredge up old hurts and old grudges and old matters even if they're long buried or long forgiven, so long as he thinks it will get him the reaction he's looking for.

He wants Wei Wuxian to fix things by rising to the bait, rising to the challenge, giving him pushback when he says blatant lies, showing him that his shige still thinks he's worth it.

This is terribly unhealthy, of course, don't do this at home kids, but it's one of my core Jiang Cheng Truths.

Jiang Cheng shows that he cares in turn by being willing to fight, by pouring his emotion out even if those often end up as negative expressions. He's messy and unrestrained when he feels things, not all of which is from his mother--a lot of that is just Jiang Cheng--however, you can see the way he tries to rein in his emotions when he's embarrassed about caring or is trying to pretend that he doesn't care. Whether it's pretending to shrug off Wei Wuxian and walk away when they have a problem, or trying to rein in his temper at Lan Wangji on Dafan Mountain. Because from his mother, he's internalised the message that to engage in the fight is proof of care, so the opposite is also true.

And oh, when he hurts, he seeks to hurt back. That's very Yu Ziyuan of him.

Wei Wuxian, meanwhile, frequently defaults to calming and placating with Jiang Cheng. Not as much as Jiang Yanli does--but more on her, momentarily. We see Wei Wuxian complain at Jiang Cheng to not get riled up, tell him he's being stubborn and just to accept the peace offering, etc. The difference is that, at first, with Jiang Cheng, a lot of that is just general pouty childishness and Wei Ying-ing, general sibling shit.

Plus, he was still willing to fight/express himself fully. They fought a lot. He always ran after Jiang Cheng, always roped him into expressing himself, always let Jiang Cheng fight it out. He understood, at least intuitively, and he didn't back down. The benefits of having grown up together, and of being an older one/middle sibling in the dynamic.

But when things really started to break down between him and Jiang Cheng, when the conflict was much bigger, much more grown up, much more real, Wei Wuxian started modeling his behaviour even more on Jiang Fengmian in regards to Jiang Cheng, possibly seeing more of Yu-furen in Jiang Cheng and responding the way that felt natural.

(Also, a lot of his own guilt and depression/apathy/intent to die and assorted other issues came into play at roughly the same time.)

Thus, we see Wei Wuxian start to turn down Jiang Cheng more often, and back off. He shrugs it off or rejects it when Jiang Cheng reaches out, and he stops reaching out himself. He tries to placate Jiang Cheng, tries to defuse him, tries to send him away. Some of this is because he cares and is trying to show he cares by taking himself out of the situation; some because he's trying to maintain his lies; some because he just doesn't have the energy to deal with this anymore.

After Wei Wuxian is resurrected, by which point he's done what he perceives as the worst things to Jiang Cheng, this intensifies. Jiang Cheng provokes him beyond reason, lashes out, starts fights, sneers, and Wei Wuxian almost rises to the bait but he stops himself. He lets Jiang Cheng be angry and he shrinks himself down, he backs away, he disengages. A decent portion of this is Wei Wuxian himself, and his faulty perspective on the situation and on Jiang Cheng's anger and complexity of emotion and intent. Some of it is lingering relationship modeling off of Jiang-shushu and Yu-furen's relationship. Either way, he's definitely "being the Jiang Fengmian" in the situation.

Additionally, Wei Wuxian tries quite actively to model himself off of Jiang-shushu's good qualities, which is understandable given that this was his primary benevolent adult figure and liked him quite a lot. We see it in the way Wei Wuxian teaches, the way he instructs with archery, the fact he prioritises archery to begin with, the way he expresses kindness the way it was expressed to him, through encouragement or noticing people who are down and out. Things that Wei Wuxian, at least, attributes to Jiang Fengmian's character (I'm trying so hard not to make this a Jiang Fengmian salt post) even if a lot of that is just his own outlook on life at the end of the day.

But all of these kids were around both of these parental figures/people of authority. This is most clear in Jiang Yanli. We see the way she's become a mediator figure between her parents when they're upset with each other and understands them both.

She takes all the kind intent and patience and willingness to placate and calm from her father, and adds in the knowledge and understanding needed to actually use it interpersonally. She's more open with communication, can identify the heart of an issue, and effectively diffuse a lot of tension. She has middling success with this with regards to her parents, but a lot more success with her brothers. It helps her see eye to eye with Wei Wuxian, and share that spark of playfulness between them too. It helps her understand why Jiang Cheng says things the way he does, and what he means.

We also see Jiang Yanli reveal herself to be the steely, fiery daughter of Zi Zhizhu when someone attacks what is hers. She is just as much her mother's child.

So, too, Jiang Cheng is his father's son. I think this is true much more when he grows up and inherits the sect and has held it for some time in the wake of tragedy. We see evidence that he's become a well-regarded leader, and for all we see cool, flashing, calculating glares and bitten-back sneers, we see worried disciples fussing over his health. We see a mild manner that was learned, and an authority that has accrued with time, and a self-assuredness when dealing with his peers that seems more modeled off what we see of Jiang Fengmian than of Yu Ziyuan.

Jiang Cheng is a match for Zidian, through and through, but he is also steady and determined and bold, good at making and keeping allies, or else how could he have achieved the impossible in rebuilding his sect? He learned to take some of his mother, some of his father, find something left over of himself out of the wreckage of his life, and meld it all together.

That brings us to Wei Wuxian. I had, at the time of first seeing that tweet, showed it to a friend who said:

Are we gonna talk about how Wei Ying gets his cry-laugh from her? Are we gonna talk about how he learned that intense glare from her, too? Or his tendency to act swiftly and decisively even when it might not be the actual best course of action? Or his violent protectiveness of his siblings?

Inspired. And yes, we are.

Yu-furen was a figure of absolute strength in Wei Wuxian's life. Uncompromising, unyielding, impressive as hell. She had the capacity to inspire deep loyalty and was fiercely protective over things that were hers. Her son, her daughter, her family's reputation, her sect, her home, her disciple. (Yes, even Wei Wuxian was hers, too, she made quite the point about that.)

Wei Wuxian is very easygoing. But when he decides something is his, whether that's a duty or a person or whatever, it's his to protect, it's his to do anything for, even cause a scene, even start a war, even lose allies or his own life. It's one surefire way to get him to fight no matter what headspace he's in.

You can see Jiang Cheng realise/remember this in real time in the Ancestral Hall, when he can't get a rise out of Wei Wuxian by talking about himself and his family, and that stings, but he's desperate to get a rise out of him somehow, and immediately he sets in on Lan Wangji. And it fucking works. That's what gets Wei Wuxian to almost fight him. If he'd posed a real threat, and if a whole bunch of other complicated psychological shit wasn't part of the mix for everyone involved, there would absolutely have been a fight.

Wei Wuxian latched onto the Wens, yes, and they were his, too, but they weren't the only ones. Lotus Pier was his, as was Jiang Cheng. Yunmeng Shuangjie was not just a pipe dream, and Wei Wuxian's loyalty was not simply easy to sway. Yunmeng Jiang's strength, their reputation, their future, and Jiang Cheng's along with it were always on his mind.

He lied, and fought, and even left and took himself out of the picture to that end. For Jiang Cheng, and for his ability to carry on. In so many ways, Wei Wuxian absolutely took so much of his perspectives on that from Yu Ziyuan, for better or worse.

Uncompromising, unyielding, even when turned on himself. Never satisfied, always pushing for more, for answers, for solutions, for the right path, even in his own frequently easygoing and curious ways. Unhesitating, across the board. Even if it meant his own life, or his core.

There is nothing wrong with hesitating. Hesitating, worrying, being uncertain, trying to think first, trying to find the right path, and then being able to find it, or choose it anyway, is such an act of courage. That's a quality Jiang Cheng has in droves. He hesitated, when he saw the Wen soldiers coming for Wei Wuxian. And then he chose to sacrifice himself. For Wei Wuxian, there was no hesitation whatsoever. No forethought. No choice, really. Just go. I think that's very Yu Ziyuan of him.

I had to go digging to find that message my friend sent me, and I'll conclude with my response:

If we're going to talk about how Wei Wuxian is like Yu-furen, then we'll have to talk about how Yu-furen knew that. Or at least, the only parts that she ever had cause to see in him while she still lived. How he was hers even if he wasn't her son. How Fengmian's lazy favouritism was intolerable in this way, too, in the way it sowed discord where there didn't need to be any, and was a barrier between her and the things that should have been more fully hers. How the farewell at Lotus Pier was more of a betrayal than she intended. How she thought she and Wei Ying met over more even ground at that moment, because she knew he loved Jiang Cheng as much as she did, in the way she did. How she expected more from him than for him to give parts himself up in such a horrifying way. How she underestimated the actual damage that had been done. And if she'd survived to see it, she just might have been truly horrified.

#a rambling essay but an essay nonetheless #the untamed meta #my meta #character analysis #i'm sure i missed some stuff but the essay was getting so long #and it's long past the due date #like i didn't even really talk too much about any potential influences on other relationships in their lives #but meh #these are just my takes on the characters #not some hard and fast rule or universal truth i'm trying to claim #i just love them #yu ziyuan #zi zhizhu #jiang fengmian #jiang cheng #jiang wanyin #wei wuxian #wei ying #jiang yanli

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1dmonthlyficroundup · 3 years

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1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for May 2021! Below the cut you’ll find 17 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup.

New York Kiss by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

[Louis/Zayn, Mature, 47k, tumblr post]

“Also, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m quite the narcissistic type, and I didn’t want that cute guy to have a bad opinion of me for the rest of his life.” “Who, me?” Zayn bats his lashes jokingly, ignoring the fact that his heart skipped a beat at Louis’ words. “Yeah, you. So, shall we go?” Louis drops what remains of his cigarette on the floor and steps on it to light it off. Meanwhile, Zayn makes a reckless decision. “Alright. Lead the way, De Niro.”

Or: A strangers to lovers AU where Louis is an actor, Zayn is a writer (among other things), and they meet each other literally by accident in NYC, just as the world is about to turn upside down.

I Love The Very Blood Of You by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 129k, tumblr post]

“I don’t just like him …” Harry muttered, fiddling with the string at the waistband of his jogging bottoms that had definitely seen better days. “I love him, Zayn. I’m in love with Louis. With a vampire.”

He looked up just in time to see a small smile on Anne’s face, and she reached out with a hopeful look. Harry couldn’t resist, and put his large hand in hers, letting her comfort him for a moment.

“I could tell there was love between you,” she confessed softly, a light blush on her cheeks. “When I met you, I knew you were smitten with each other. I won’t pretend it doesn’t make me nervous, but … I can’t tell you who you can and can’t love, sweetheart.”

A vampire. A human. A broken arrangement. A love long since forbidden. Hunted by hate. Destined.

One More Taste of Your Lips by MsHydeStylinson @mizzhydes and @canadianlarrie

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 80k, tumblr post]

It had been eight years since the hiatus began, and Louis had spent that time writing and recording music, touring and making it safely through the pandemic. When the opportunity arose to go back on tour with One Direction, Louis knew he'd be a fool not to take it. Sure, life on the road would be different after all this time apart, but he was looking forward to experiencing that comradery again.

What he hadn't realised was that living the better part of nine months in each other's pockets was bound to dredge up issues from his past. And when one of the pockets belonged to Harry, who he'd had a rather unconventional friendship with that drifted apart during their last tour, life on the road again would upend both their lives in irrevocable ways.

***

Harry wasn’t that sixteen year old boy anymore. Nor was he the young man in his late teens who was on the cusp of conquering the entire world.

But some traits seemed to remain the same; his vibrant green eyes, the dimples set deeply in his cheeks whenever he laughed earnestly, or his curls that were the same shade of cocoa that Louis remembered fondly.

And yet, Louis had absolutely no idea who this man that stood a mere twenty paces away was today.

take my hand, wreck my plans by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Harry/Louis, Teen & Up, 38k, tumblr post]

Louis meets the man in the center of the room, feeling every eye on him.

“Mr. H,” he whispers.

The man smiles brightly and laughs as if he can’t believe his eyes. “It’s you,” he says breathlessly. “I didn’t think I would see you again.”

“Nor I you, especially under these circumstances.”

“Even so,” Mr H says, his eyes bouncing from Louis’ eyes to his lips. “Will you do me a great honor and join me in leading the first … um…”

“Dance?”

Mr. H laughs and nods. “Yes, that’s the one.”

Louis bites his lips and doesn’t hesitate before whispering, “Yes.”

Mr. H beams and reaches for Louis’ hand. Sparks fly at the touch and a zing of excitement shoots through Louis’ body. His face heats up as he’s afraid his scent would give away his feelings towards the other man.

Winter Light by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

[Liam/Zayn (Liam & Louis, Harry/Louis), Teen & Up, 58k, tumblr post]

“Do you think this place is dead?” he suddenly asked, his eyes focused on one of the two oaks, whose bark was grey and trunk cracked.

“What do you mean?” Zayn inquired, joining him by the tree.

“Well, it’s winter now, so obviously everything looks dead anyway,” Liam said. “But do you think come spring, this place might look like the way it looked before?”

Zayn took his time to think about Liam’s question. “I think all things are salvageable,” he eventually answered. “Including this garden. You just have to try hard enough.”

After his mother’s death, Liam is sent to live at his estranged uncle’s manor in the North of England, where new friends, mysterious places and family secrets await him. A Secret Garden inspired Soulmate AU

Cake and Kiss by @loulovehome

[Harry/Louis, General, 2k, tumblr post]

The one where omega Harry didn't like cake and wants to throw up when his alpha kisses him.

Love After the End of the World by writing_practice / @mercurial-madhouse

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 150k, tumblr post]

“Wait. Just so I’m clear in me fucking noggin,” Niall says. “An international worldwide takeover is well under way and the only thing standing between having hot showers and a second end of the world is us five fuckers?”

-----

Society shattered when all electricity suddenly cut off across the globe, plunging the world into darkness. Now, Prometheus Industries is the sole remaining supply of power, a saving grace to those who survived Lights Out. As fugitives in no-man’s land struggling to break into Prometheus HQ, death lurks around every corner for Louis and Zayn. Things get complicated when a routine recon falls apart and Louis collides with Harry and his mates Niall and Liam, survivors with their own agenda.

When staying alive is already a constant battle, the deadliest weakness is to be in love. For Harry and Louis, finding each other sits on top of the endless list of What Else Could Go Wrong.

Hometown by @allwaswell16

[Louis/Harry, Not Rated, 2k, tumblr post]

On the day Harry gets his driver’s licence, he drives through the suburbs, heartbroken that he can’t drive home to Louis.

Baby Blues by @kingsofeverything

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 12K, tumblr post]

8 mpreg Harry snippets originally posted on Tumblr. Mostly smut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But If This Ends by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 107k, tumblr post]

Harry’s life as a vampire is routine. He spends his years moving around from place to place, learning as much as he can, and falling in love whenever the universe sees fit. When he tries to move his casual relationship with Louis to something more, it all gets turned on its head. As they navigate confusing thoughts and complex emotions, Harry finds himself torn between the love he feels for Louis and everything he thought he knew.

Featuring pet names, love letters, secrets, meaningful friendships, and two insecure boys desperately in love.

Pretty in Pink by lovelarry / @chloehl10

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 18k, tumblr post]

“Love? Can I come in?”

Harry sniffed and shook his head before he realised Louis couldn’t see him. “No. Go home, Lou. Please.”

“I’m not leaving,” the Omega insisted, his voice full of concern. “And I’m not judging either. Just… talk to me, Haz.”

Harry briefly considered changing or at least ripping everything off and greeting Louis in his boxers before he realised that might actually be worse, that Louis had seen him dressed up and there was no need to hide anymore. He meekly shuffled over to the door and pulled it open before he backed away, refusing to meet Louis’ eyes.

To the Omega’s credit, he walked straight over to Harry and wrapped his arms around him from behind, resting his cheek between Harry’s shoulder blades.

“This top feels nice. Soft. I see why you like it,” Louis said quietly from behind him.

*****

Alpha Harry loves to secretly dress up and be pretty. He loves his feminine side, even if it’s not typical of an Alpha. But when Omega Louis finds out, it might just the start of something even more beautiful for them both...

Plant New Seeds In The Melody by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 58k, tumblr post]

After losing his husband in a tragic car accident, the last thing Louis needs is to keep running into popstar Harry Styles, who David was quite fond of.

Obviously, that’s exactly what keeps happening.

But as their unlikely friendship blossoms, Louis realizes that, maybe, having Harry in his life was the only good thing that came out of his adverse circumstances. Harry could be just the right person to help Louis find trust and intimacy in someone new.

We are the same, you run in my veins by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, General, 4k, tumblr post]

When the time for Louis to become the Alpha leader of his pack comes, he can’t rise to the occasion for not being yet bonded. A series of trips to neighbouring packs in search of his soulmate is fruitless until he meets one of the other packs’ Alpha heir.

Harry.

The world seems to stop turning for a second and then it shifts, clicking into its axis. All the distress and wrongness he felt until that very moment suddenly disappears. Louis is finally whole.

But two Alpha leaders from different tribes soulbonding is something unheard of before.

evergreen, evermore by docklands / @hershelsue

[Louis/Harry, General, 2k, tumblr post]

The year is 1979. Their entire lives, Harry and Louis have lived in Chichester, home to the best watermelons in the world. An unruffled life in the country has always served their long term friendship well. It all shifts when Harry has to move away to a bigger city due to his mother’s job, albeit his love for his hometown and for Louis. It’s even harsher when the moving truck leaves on his birthday, of all days. When all seems lost, Louis ends up having to pull some strings to ease the pain in Harry’s heart.

When The High's Too High, and the Low's Too Low by DaysLikeMasquerades

[Louis/Harry, Mature, 22k+ (wip)]

Two perspectives of growing up neurodivergent

Some days Harry wondered if he would ever find a friend who could look past all the things he couldn't change. Someone who didn't care that he could spend hours talking about his latest fascination without calling him obsessed. Who didn't laugh when he couldn't stop his hands from expressing his emotions. Who didn't care that he was 13, but he'd start crying if he went into too many stores, because they were too bright, too loud, too smelly, and it was all just too overwhelming. Some days he thought someone like that just didn't exist.

Most nights Louis wondered if there would ever come a time when he didn't hate himself. When he would learn to control his emotions and the mood swings that seemed to take over everything and leave no room for himself. He wondered how he could live with himself when he only seemed to hurt the people he loved. His teachers thought he was a wonderful boy, but he knew the truth. Most nights he cried himself into exhaustion wondering how it was possible to feel so broken at only 15. He wanted to be happy, but he didn't know how and that scared him more than anything. Most nights he just hoped he could figure it out before it was too late.

Make You Never Wanna Leave (so Don’t) by @beelou / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 3k, tumblr post]

“You look hot in plaid.” “What?” “I said you look like a dad.” “No, you didn't.” “Yes, I certainly did, Harold. You have no proof.” -- Or, the one where Harry wears plaid.

a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Niall, Not rated, 10k, tumblr post]

“Listen, my alpha and I broke up and it turns out that all of our friends were really his friends and I need someone to help me through–”

“No,” Harry practically shouts, the word bursting out of him unbidden. He cringes when he sees the shock on Niall’s face, his pale skin flushing lightly. “I’m sorry, but my answer has to be no. I don’t help omegas through heats. I’m really sorry, Liam knows that, so I don’t know why he would give you the idea–”

“It’s not heat, Harry,” Niall interrupts. “It’s depri.”

“Oh. Fuck.”

Touch deprivation makes a lot of sense now that Harry thinks about it. Niall seems generally unwell; he appears to be weak, his skin is pallid and his lips look chapped, and his breathing is ragged. He’s wearing a cozy-looking sweatshirt, but even over FaceTime, he kind of seems cold, hunched over with his arms wrapped around his body. Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact.

Oh.

#28th appreciation #tracksintheam #trackinghome #1dsource #fic rec #may 2021

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hello-nichya-here · 3 years

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Ok, so what in your opinion is the WORST mistake that the showrunners for Game of Thrones made in terms of content, either it's addition or redaction?

WARNING: Looooooong post ahead

Themes are for eighth-grade book reports

This absurd quote by one of the showrunners explains why exactly the show fell appart. They wanted to make a story... without themes. Anyone with a minimally functioning brain will tell that this is impossible because every story, even the simplest and least complicated story there ever, has a theme. Even a nihilistic story has a theme "Nothing matters". Every. Story. Has. A. Theme.

But Game Of Thrones didn't, at least not after the writers ran out of books to adapt and did their own thing. Everything every character did was no longer to build a narrative, but to essentially act as click-bait. The focus was to make people keep watching, not on making any content that was worth watching.

The first four seasons had it's problems, just like the books had it's problems, but Martin's writting was so brilliant that it managed to stay good even while being handled by absolute clowns. The moment season four ended was the moment the show stopped being an adaptation and became it's own thing - and like I explained before, said thing wasn't a story.

Shock

Both the show and the books had MANY shocking, heart-breaking and downright horrifying scenes: Daenerys being raped by Drogo; Bran being pushed out the window after accidentally seeing the queen fucking her brother; the whole deal with Craster and his daughters; the Dotrakhi destroying Mirri's village and her revenge against them and Daenerys; Ned's death; Melisandre giving birth to a shadow baby that killed Renly; The Red Wedding; Jeoffrey's death; Tyrion killing his father; Theon being tortured by Ramsay...

The difference is there were REASONS behind the shocking scenes Martin created. Even when you look at things like rape and torture scenes and threats of rape/torture - Martin used those scenes to remind us that the world he created is an EXTREMELY dangerous and downright vile place, and that the characters are never truly safe, and that there are WAY worse things than just being killed.

Dumb & Dumber on the other hand, gaves us scenes like an evil, former man of the night's watch evily making an evil speech to his fellow evil men, evily drinking whine from a human skull while nameless women were being raped in the background - but little does he know that Jon Snow, the hero, is about to wreck his shit. It takes something that could realistically happen (and that did happen in the books) and takes it up to eleven because the writers think shock is the same as quality and that the audience is SO STUPID that they need to practically make the actor jump out of the TV, grab us by the shoulders and scream "I'M EVIL! I'M THE BIG BAD! ROOT FOR THE HERO TO KILL ME!"

Pretty much every bad guy became a parody of Jeoffrey, ironically enough because the writers took Jeoffrey too seriously. He was a cruel, sadistic character, who had WAY too much power - but he was also a spoiled baby whose reply to Tyrion bitch-slapping him wasn't a threat, but "I'M TELLING MOM!" Jeoffrey worked because he was only allowed to do his thing whenever smarter, more competent characters like Tyrion and Tywin where not around, meaning his actions, while inhumane, never reached the point of no longer being believable.

The horrible things that happened to the characters no longer felt "right". For instance, Sansa had just been taken to the Eerie by Little Finger, who has a weird complex in which he sees her both as the daughter he never had with Catelyn AND as a replacement for Catelyn, and she was starting to truly be a player instead of a pawn... and then the writers realized "Oh shit, we should have not cut the Jeyne Pool/Fake Arya' plot, that was important" and forced it on Sansa, making Little Finger hand her on a silver plater to Ramsay and turning her into a victim AGAIN, this time to a man that dramatically fights his enemies without a shirt own, practically saying "come at me bro"

Compare this to Ned's beheading, or Catelyn and Rob being betrayed and killed by the Freys. These moments were shocking and downright depressing - but they were earned. The writting was on the wall for anyone to see: Ned was at the mercy of Jeoffrey, and the Starks had given the Freys, who are notoriously disloyal, a reason to resent them. These twists felt completely natural, were the only logical way for the situation the characters were in to play out, AND they had consequences to plot instead of just making the audience gasp and then being forgotten about.

Plot armor

It's kind of ironic and almost tragic that the show that became famous for killing characters later became the worst type of high-stakes series, putting the characters in situations they could NOT survive, not even if a goddamn miracle happened, and having them live anyway. What's even worse is that it happened repeatedly. If I had to see Jon Snow almost die and then survive anyway one more fucking time I was going to lose my mind.

There's no bigger proof that there were just no consequences for the "main" characters anymore than watching the second, third, and fourth episodes of season either. The first sets up that this battle against the night king and his army of undead is likely going to kill the majority of them, if they're lucky... and then in the third we see the plot armor in all of it's "glory", and then in the forth we find out that the Dotrakhi, who had ALL been killed, actually still have half the numbers they had the night before, somehow. Even red-shirts weren't dying anymore.

DORNE

This disaster needed it's own session because HOLY SHIT, it's a miracle/tragedy that everyone didn't go "Fuck it, I'm never watching another episode of this stupid show."

The Dorne plot in the books isn't perfect, but what the show did to it was so fucking bad that I'm pretty sure the writers didn't even read the Dorne chapters in the books, they just looked at a wiki, wrote down the names of a few characters and then did their own shitty thing.

In the books, Doran Martel is a clever, dangerous man, who pretends to be harmless so people will understimate him and step right into his trap. In the show, Doran Martel... died. That's it. I can't remember anything else that happened to him. Add him to the list of "Brilliant characters that became stupid due to shitty writing", I'm sure Tyrion, Varys and Little Finger will love making him company.

The sand-snakes, one of the main driving force of that plot, were all distinct characters in the books, with their personalities, goals, methods and motivations - basically they were created by a writer who knew what he is was doing. In the show they were all the same "character" who could be perfectly described by that horrible, cringy, PAINFUL line one of them (I can't even remember which) said to Bron "You want a good girl, but you need the bad pussy" (Seriously, if that actress ever kills the show-runners as revenge for having to say that, she'll be 100% justifyed in doing so)

And we cannot forget the driving force behind that unwatchable shit show: Ellaria Sand. In the books, the death of Oberyn made her believe that revenge only leads to more blood-shed. In the show, his death enraged to the point of wanting to avenge him and his family, and she did this... by killing his family. If that doesn't explain how insane and stupid this plot-line was, I don't know what will.

Hype = Character assassination

Many shows are based around the conflict between the bad guys and the good guys. Game Of Thrones is not one of these shows. Or at least it wasn't. As they ran out of ideas, the writers started mutilating every single character until they could be label as "Good" or "Bad", regardless of what felt right to the story and to the point that there was nothing left of said characters. Stannis's actor, Stephen Dillane, straight up said that the only thing he got from being on the show was money and that his character's motivations and decisions were nonsense - ironically enough, that kind of brutal honesty means that the writers had THE perfect actor play Stannis, and wasted his fucking time.

Here's a list of the characters that fell victims to this horrible fate: Catelyn Stark, Tyrion Lannister, Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Jon Snow, Melisandre, Stannis, Jorah, Daenerys (bonus points for being mutilated into being both a generic, shitty "hero" and a generic, shitty "villain") Greyworm, Rhaegar Targaryen, Lyanna Stark...

Pretty much the only character who became more complex in the show than she was in the books was Cersei. While her book self was never just a "Generic Evil Queen", the show version of her was far more sympathetic, which made the stories she was part of interesting. Too bad the writers ran out of ideas of what to do with her after season six and just left her by the window drinking whine until Dany showed up to kill her. Which brings us to...

Why is this happening?

Cersei was seen as a threat in the last two seasons based on nothing but the things she HAD done. Her story just ended the very second season six did, but since she was still alive despite being one of the bad guys she had to die... I guess. She (and by extention Jaime) joined the list of characters that had nothing to do, but were still around: Davos, Theon, Yara, Melisandre, Bron, Sam, Gendry, Bran (the last one being SO unnecessary that he was cut from season five and no one noticed)

To combat that issue, the writers gave characters "motivations" that made no sense. For exemple: Sandor Clegane. His only reason to be in the show was so he could kill his brother. The problem was that Gregor was already dead. He was a walking corpse. There was nothing left of the abusive brother Sandor once knew, meaning he had no reason to fight him, and that, to keep Sandor around, the writers should have come up something new (like the redemption that book fans have been waiting for, and that has a lot of backing evidence). You might as well have had HIM be the one to randomly fly out of nowhere and kill the night king despite having no connection to him.

And since we're talking about the night king... Arya was the one to kill him. Why? Because the writers ruined Jaime's redemption arc, meaning that the only fitting ending for him was to die with Cersei, and so Arya could not kill Cersei despite wanting to, having the ability to do, AND having heard a prophecy that said she'd "Shutting brown eyes, blue eyes, and green eyes forever", the last one being the only one she had not done AND applying to Cersei. But Dumb & Dumber admitted they had no plan for this, so now that they were at the last season, they needed to do something with it, and they retconned it to mean Arya would kill the night king...

But Arya killing him meant Jon had nothing to do, so Dany had to go mad so he could kill her. To "hint" at that, they ignored all the not at all subtle foreshadowing the previous season had of Dany and Jon having a kid, and they even showed her getting jealous that he was technically the true heir... even though that made no sense since they were going to rule together anyway, and even after Dany went full "Mad Queen" she ASKED HIM TO RULE WITH HER. But anyways, he kills her and becomes king...

Except he doesn't actually become king and him being a secret Targaryen has no effect in the plot, because Bran needed to become king so there'd be a reason for him to be alive, because his magical powers turned into a plot-device. A plot-device that wasn't used at any goddamn point. Seriously, the only thing as bad as Bran becoming king was Euron's existence - dude was THE most useless villain ever AND the worst Jeoffrey parody.

A darker story (literally)

I could not end this rant without bitching about this. What is the point of spending an ungodly amount of money on sets, costumes, make-up, special effects... and then using such poor lighting that no one can see what the fucking is going on?

Anyway, this disaster of a series was so absurd it should be used as an exemple of what NOT to do.

#asks #long post #got #game of thrones #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #rape #violence #death

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firemanwhenthefloodsrollback · 3 years

Text

Who Saved The Day? Season 6

Going right back in with season 6 of Who Saved The Day because last time I didn't move straight on to the next series I accidentally left it a month. It's a controversial statement sometimes but season 6 has always been my favourite season by far and I will never get over my obsession with the darkness and moral complexity. I think this is going to be a hard instalment of deciding who saved the day but I'm excited to get started.

A reminder of the rules: in every episode, including the first parts of two parters, someone must save the day including when the day isn't really saved. The day can only ever be saved by one person and when there are multiple candidates, the person who did the physical saving of the immediate physical threat gets the point.

At the end of season 5 we left it with:

Buffy: 54

Willow: 7

Angel and Giles: 5

Spike: 3

Anya, Faith, Oz, Tara, Xander: 2

And 9 characters including Dawn who have 1 each

So without further ado:

1. Bargaining Part 1: Willow

Straight in with a hard one. Willow is the main man in the spell to bring Buffy back, which certainly solves a problem in a more general sense. The buffybot didn't save the day at all so there isn't really another candidate here.

2. Bargaining Part 2: Dawn

I really really nearly went for Buffy here but I felt like Dawn was the one who solved the main problem. Reaching Buffy when she couldn't function like a human being feels like the greatest achievement here. According to my own rules, I really felt like it should have been Buffy getting Dawn down off the tower but Dawn was the one who solved the main problem.

3. After Life: Buffy

Buffy kills the thing with an axe. An underrated and very very creepy episode. The late seasons moved a long way away from the horror movie origins of the high school years, but After Life is one of the greatest horror movie-esque episodes of the later seasons, and potentially also overall. Willow and Tara did the spell but Buffy wielded the axe.

4. Flooded: Buffy

Buffy kills the demon and most, most, most importantly, save the pipework. Now I'm 25 and have my own relationship with the water company I finally understand the true horror of this episode.

5. Life Serial: Buffy

Three times as a matter of fact.

6. All The Way: Dawn

Dawn saving her own life in one of the sweetest late season episode endings, I feel. This episode and a few others like it remind me of how much the things that seem silly and easy to deal with in the later season were major threats early on. For Dawn, this is a disaster on the same scale as the things Buffy was facing and hoping her friends could face in seasons one and two. I love that Dawn got to save herself here and show the kind of strength that Buffy was using to save the day inn the high school seasons.

7. Once More With Feeling: Spike

Xander averted the demon taking Dawn, Buffy and/or himself away to his magical demon world, but Spike saved Buffy's life during Something To Sing About and I feel like I'm gonna count that? It gets presented in the episode as a bigger deal than Xander's saving of the day, which is thrown away as a comedy line.

8. Tabula Rasa: Xander

By accident, but that'll do sometimes. Treading on something by mistake is the kind of saving of the day that I feel like I could actually aspire to.

9. Smashed: Tara

I have absolutely no idea who saved the day here. Normally I'm very insistent on it being the person who stops the supernatural threat saving the day who gets the point, but I really don't know what threat that was here? Obviously a lot is going wrong psychologically, and I love this episode both for Buffy and for Willow, but neither of them faced a 'threat', as such. So the person who solved a problem and kept someone safe at the end of the episode was Tara, choosing to stay with Dawn to keep her safe even when it was potentially awkward.

10. Wrecked: Buffy

It really depends on what the actual villain is here. I originally gave Willow the point for killing the demon that was chasing the car, since that was in a very real sense the monster of the week, but it's just impossible to watch this episode and feel that that was the real threat or the time that the day got saved. The threat here was Willow's addiction and the episode makes it very clear that that's what we're meant to be focusing on, so Buffy helping her at the end is portrayed as saving the day. There's a mystical element to it and it resolves the issue that was the main threat here, so Buffy it is.

11. Gone: Willow

Willow changes the settings on the invisibility gun thing and Willow makes the trio visible again. Just thinking about the trio makes my skin crawl, more and more and more with time.

12. Doublemeat Palace: Willow

How profoundly and wonderfully symbolic.

13. Dead Things: Buffy

Tara honestly deserves it more for the way she talks to Buffy at the end of the episode - one of the rare moments of pure, open-hearted, uncomplicated goodness in a very dark season. Tara is the one who comes closest to making things better here, but the rules I've been using for the other seasons were that the person who deals with the supernatural threat or monster of the week gets the point even if someone else does something more emotionally resonant. I also almost gave it to Spike for stopping Buffy going to the police, but he also didn't really stop her going to the police so no point for Spike. When Buffy recognises Katrina's name and leaves the police station, that's the moment that ruins Warren's plan, so Buffy gets the point.

14. Older And Far Away: Anya

One of my absolute favourite episodes and certainly one that deserves to get talked about more. Anya puts two and two together about Halfrek being the demon who cursed them, and her bringing Halfrek to the house is what gets the curse lifted, so a well deserved point for Anya.

15. As You Were: Buffy

Buffy throws the grenade. Weird episode.

16. Hell's Bells: Buffy

Buffy and Xander do kill that demon communally, but for very obvious reasons I refuse to give Xander a point for this episode and I defend that decision.

17. Normal Again: Buffy

Buffy makes the horrifically difficult decision to go back to the world we recognise so no one else is getting close to this point.

18. Entropy: Willow

Was...... the day saved here at all? Willow solved the issue of the hidden cameras which was technically the threat here I guess?

19. Seeing Red: Xander

My least favourite episode by a very very long way, and not one I ever rewatch. I had to use a plot summary to help me with this one because I just don't do Seeing Red at all. Xander gets Buffy the ambulance, which is the closest thing to saving the day that we get here.

20. Villains: Anya

This episode was so hard to make a call about that it kind of undermines the idea of doing my silly little project at all. Anya finds where Willow has taken Warren and leads the way there, and probably comes the closest to saving the day of anyone?

21. Two To Go: Giles

Giles!

22. Grave: Xander

The yellow crayon speech makes me tear up and it always, always will.

So that was season 6! Some very difficult calls and fewer points for Buffy than any other season by a fair way. At the end of the season we are left with:

Buffy: 63

Willow: 11

Giles: 6

Angel and Xander: 5

Anya and Spike: 4

Dawn and Tara: 3

Faith and Oz: 2

And 8 other characters who got 1 each

I'm excited to get to season 7 and finish my weird little project off. No one is coming for Buffy, obviously, and I'd be very surprised if anyone takes the number 2 spot away from Willow, but what happens further down the leaderboard is anyone's guess.

#who saved the day series #buffy #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #season six

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fairycosmos · 3 years

Note

Nobody would miss me if i were gone and i guess that I just wanted to know your best reasons for living because I’m coming up short.. :(

i really don’t know, i was just thinking this the other day :/ i try to focus on what’s going to get me through today rather than what’s going to get me through my life. i can’t think about my life. mostly i come up with small, basically meaningless reasons like eating my fave food or the sky or the possibility of the world finally cutting me some slack and loosening its grip on me a bit. i try to think about it a lot, how i haven’t met everyone i’m supposed to meet or seen everything i’m supposed to see. a lot of the time it’s not even any of that that keeps me here though, it’s just that dying is too hard. too scary. too inconvenient. too permanent. so look for the minor moments of peace or even just numbness, the lack of pain, that you find on a daily or weekly basis. anything that brings you a semblance of joy, no matter how little. art, music, walking, special interests, books, animals. whatever it may be. the trick of mental illness is that it often makes these things feel dull and insignificant and pointless. yet engaging in them despite that, even for five minutes a day, can be super self soothing even so. when it comes to the bigger reasons, the more existential reasons, i suppose my mind drifts to my family and the people around me. ig on some level we have to recognize that trauma and mental illness often skews our perception so much that we don’t even have an accurate idea of our own existence or what it means to people. you’re probably utterly convinced that nobody would miss you but you’ve been on a diet of self hatred for god knows how long, and so you can’t possibly fathom the way you’ve made a difference in people’s lives - directly and indirectly. after my sister died, i got a lot of anons telling me they had put off their own suicide after seeing how devastated i was, after realizing the absolute irreversible gravity of death and losing someone and how it can wreck the people who know you. and that has a ripple effect, on people who didn’t even know you that well, too. it’s just a spiderweb of hurt that never ends. i’m not saying you have to stay alive purely for others, but i am saying it’s something to consider when looking for reasons to stick around. another thought i often have is that i am going to be dead for all of eternity. it’s coming sooner than i think, and there’s nothing i can do about it. so i might as well ride it out until i get there and observe the brief flash of human consciousness i got. because it took coincidence after coincidence for millenia to get me here in the first place. but honestly, none of this is going to ring true for you if you don’t try to confront the underlying causes for these thoughts and feelings. i know it’s easier said than done, and idk the details of your situation or anything. but if it’s possible, or when it’s possible, i would really recommend reaching out to a professional - a hot line, your doctor, a support group, a therapist - if you can, or even just your friends and family to begin with. mental health issues are just as serious as physical health issues and often need the same level of medical care in order to overcome them. and that’s alright. you don’t have to go into great detail about what’s going on right away, and there’s no rush here. but learning to cope healthily and compartmentalize by talking through your pain and being truly heard, is not as impossible as it seems at the moment. it is not some far away goal, it can begin by picking up the phone. obviously this is a super daunting prospect, and i understand that, but it’s just something to think about for now. you deserve support, and a future. this current mental anguish is not all there is. anyway sorry my answer is all over the place, none of this is coming out right and it probably wasn’t the best one i could give to be honest, but it’s where i’m at right now too and i just can not focus. sending you a lot of love. you do matter. please take care x

#tw suicide #anon #talking

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kitkatd7 · 4 years

Text

I Hate You More

Summary: You're in love with Bucky- but he hates you. Right?

Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky x Hydra Survivor!Reader

Tropes: Bodyguard AU - Whump - hurt/comfort

Warnings: Angst, talk of previous torture, cursing, fluff ending

Word Count: 3,883

A/N: This isn't my best work but I hope you enjoy it regardless!!! Please let me know what you think as this is a combination of about 4 things I've never tried writing before! This was written for @waywardodysseys in the @marvelxreaderfanfictionfest!!!!❤❤❤ thank you @fandomsandxfiles for beta reading it!!!!

Masterlist of Masterlists

Marvel Masterlist

------------------------------

You had walked into the Avengers Tower conference room timidly, giving all of the Avengers a shy smile and small wave- You weren’t very trusting with new people but something about them felt… safe. As if nothing could ever hurt you again so long as you were with them. It felt like you were part of the family; It felt like home.

----Two months later----

Bucky was head over heels for you; He liked everything about you since the very first day he met you. He craved your touch and loved the sound of your laughter more than anything, the way your eyes lit up when you were excited and how your intoxicating scent drew him in. And for him… that was a big issue. He wasn’t ready to deal with all of the emotions that welled within him when you were around and he definitely couldn’t admit his feelings. He told himself you wouldn’t feel the same way but deep down he knew he was just afraid.

So he made a decision.

God, it killed him to do it- but he made himself hate you; Forced himself to give you nothing but rude comments and cold glares at every turn. He didn’t talk to you unless he absolutely had to.

You tried to be friends with him, you did everything you could think of; Invited him whenever you went out to the bar with Sam and the girls, asked him if he wanted to train together or watch movies- but he just sneered and turned away. After weeks of the same cold treatment you couldn’t handle all of the rejection and blatant hate you received from him, so you stopped asking him to do things with you and eventually you started avoiding him; made excuses not to go to movie night, making sure you were never in the gym at the same time as he was.

Regardless of the hate you received you couldn’t bring yourself to return it- quite the opposite, actually- You fell for him. Hard. Fell for the small smiles he gave so rarely (Even though they were never directed at you) The soft sound of his laughter ringing throughout a room and the sweet way he displayed his love for the team. His ocean blue eyes that you could get lost in so easily, the deep, warm lilt of his voice.

Why did you have to be in love with the man who hated the ground you walked on?

------------------------------

A year later and he still hates you.

Now you're standing in the conference room of the Avengers Tower, being briefed on your next mission by Director Nick Fury himself- Or you were being briefed before a certain tall, dark and brooding Sergeant stormed in.

“Director, may I have a word? Privately?” He emphasizes, shooting you a deliberate glare.

“Well I would love to accommodate you, Sergeant, but as you can see I’m having an important conversation with Agent Y/L/N,” He states easily while Bucky looks at you coldly. “I’m sure whatever you have to say to me, you can also say to her as well.”

“I don’t want to be her bodyguard,” he says bluntly, switching his gaze back to Fury.

Chuckling lightly, Fury looks between your fallen expression and Bucky’s stone one. “Care to explain why, Sergeant?”

“She’s cocky, arrogant and reckless, she’ll do anything to get her way and God help us if she doesn’t- she’s stubborn and hard-headed.” Bucky regrets what he’s doing to you; He hates hurting you like this but he doesn’t know what else to do so he schools his features and presses on, delivering the final blow. “I enjoyed my time with Hydra more than I enjoy being around her,” he finishes, immediately regretting it when you flinch away from him and your mask slips, your features morphing into an overwhelming expression of pain and anguish.

You quickly put your mask back in place, willing yourself to keep your eyes from tearing up. You subconsciously run your fingers over where you know the scars are on your forearm from when you were a prisoner of Hydra. Only Fury knows what happened to you and you’d like to keep it that way for the time being.

Sitting up, Fury starts stacking files briskly, giving you a small apologetic glance; He knows what effect the mention of Hydra has on you. “Well Sergeant, as much as I would love to help- I can’t. You are one of our best agents and she needs to be protected. Hydra wants her and we can’t let that happen. You know what they’ll do if they get her. We have bigger issues than your feelings at the moment, you may both go,” he says dismissively.

Turning, you make your way out the door and away from both of them as quickly as possible as tears stream down your face despite your efforts to keep them at bay. After all this time his words and actions still cut deeper than any knife ever could. Why does he hate you so much?

------------------

It’s been a little over a week since you were assigned your bodyguard and you're sick of it already. Why couldn’t you get a bodyguard that actually likes you? God, it’s frustrating; being tailed constantly by someone who probably doesn’t care if you live or die- especially when it’s literally their job to keep you alive. And as luck would have it, he has to go on your next mission as your bodyguard. You don’t need Bucky to go; It’s an easy mission, gathering intel from a double agent and you could easily do it by yourself. Child’s play. But Fury insists on him going with you.

So here you are; Sitting in a club, sipping on bourbon and coke- Without the bourbon- Waiting for your contact to show while Bucky watches you from across the room. He’s trying to focus but it’s hard when you're wearing that; Form-fitting black jeans and matching knee-high leather boots, a tight, long-sleeve maroon crop-top that accents your curves perfectly.

You usually wouldn’t wear this but tonight you're not you- you're just a girl out for a night on the town with her boyfriend- So you play your role, toying with your necklace and squealing excitedly when your ‘boyfriend’ comes and kisses your cheek before taking his place next to you.

“So what do you have for me?”

He leans closer, whispering in your ear, “Rumlow has a meeting set up tonight, he’s bringing in another weapons shipment on the east loading dock by the river.”

You rage inwardly at the information but keep in character, pressing your lips to his before leaning to whisper in his ear, “What time?”

“11 o’clock sharp, he’s bringing his squad with him.”

“Shit,” you mumble, faking a smile before standing to go to the restroom. “I’ll be back in a minute, baby,” you say cheerfully, loud enough for anyone close by to hear.

Bucky glares across the room at your contact, he knows it’s all a ruse- but he still bristles when the other man touches you, kisses you.

His girl.

What? Where did that come from? She’s not yours, he reminds himself but he still rages inwardly.

He snaps back to reality when you stand and move towards the ladies' room. Anyone watching would have thought you looked like you were having the night of your life but he could see the energy and rage sizzling beneath the surface.

-------------------------

You storm into the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind you. You lean heavily on the counter, staring at your reflection in the mirror as you will the tears to stay down but it’s no use. Rumlow. The man who literally ruined your life. He was your captor during your time with Hydra- He’s the one who gave you your scars. You run your fingers up under your sleeve, grazing the scars gently as the tears start to fall, the only sounds are your quiet sobs of anger and the tip-tap of the leaking faucet. You yank your sleeve down quickly when you hear the door open behind you.

You whirl around, not expecting to come face to face with Bucky.

“What the hell are you doing in here Barnes? Someone could have seen you! Or what if someone comes in? You could blow my cover!” You fume, not really mad at him but you need an outlet for your rage.

“Calm down, doll. I just came to see if you’re okay,” He murmurs, locking the door to keep you from being interrupted.

“I’m fine,” You tell him unconvincingly, swiping at the tears that are rolling in steady rhythm down your face.

“You don’t look fine.”

Scoffing, you turn away, leaning on the counter again. “Since when do you care?” You spit bitterly, turning your head away from him.

“I’ve always cared…” He whispers softly, reaching out to comfort you but his hand drops to his side, his fingers curling into his palm uselessly. His words surprise you and you look at his reflection in the mirror. You don’t know what you were expecting to see there; Sarcasm maybe? An indication that he was lying? But all you see is a gentle sort of… Openness and honesty on his face that confuses you all the more.

“What do yo-” You start but you're cut off by someone banging on the door and yelling: “Hurry up!”

Snapping out of your thoughts and confusion, you push past him towards the door; blinking back fresh tears. “I have to go.” And then you're gone- making your way through the crowd quickly without a backward glance at the man who’s calling your name.

------------------

Bucky walks towards your contact, sliding in next to him casually, but he’s raging inside. “What did you say to her?” He asks quietly, desperate to know what has you so absolutely wrecked. He’s never seen you like this… He’s seen you storm out of a room with tears running down your face (courtesy of him) He’s seen you punch a man in the nose for making a pass at you- But never like this.

"Exactly what I was supposed to. It's my job to pass on the information and I did, it’s not my job to babysit the agents afterward or keep track of where they go."

"What. Did. You. Say." Bucky spits through gritted teeth, his metal fingers digging into the bar.

Sighing, the agent turns towards him fully. "Look, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but since she's your girlfri-"

"She's not my girlfriend."

The agent gives him a disbelieving stare; one eyebrow raised in question. "It sure looks like she is. I saw you on the other side of the room- you looked like you were gonna slit my throat for touching her."

"I'm still considering it."

Ignoring the not-so-empty threat, he continues; "I told her about the meeting Hydra Agent Brock Rumlow is having tonight and after I gave her the location and time, she split."

Pushing away from the bar, Bucky slips on his leather jacket. "Who’s Rumlow? And where's she going?" He asks briskly, all business despite his wildly beating heart.

"You really don’t know who he is? Sorry but that I can’t tell you- You’ll have to ask her. And she’s going to the east loading dock by the river, Rumlow will be there in less than an hour."

Nodding curtly, Bucky storms towards the door, people moving out of the way when they see the frenzied looking giant of a man.

----------------------------------

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” Bucky growls, pushing you against the brick wall in the alley that you're using for a stakeout point. You wince when your shoulder hits the wall painfully, your head tilting back to meet his anger-filled eyes.

“Staking out a dangerous Hydra operation,” You say nonchalantly.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, what are you actually doing here? Why are you going in without backup? Or telling me? What’s so important that you have to risk your life for it?” He demands, his Brooklyn accent growing thicker, expression darkening further.

Anger flashes in your eyes at his question. “Why the hell should I explain it to you? It’s none of your business, and even if it was it’s not like you would care anyway!!” You yell, heat rolling off of you in waves as he takes a step back, grip loosening as he stares at you in confusion and regret- He didn’t mean to be so hard on you. He was just worried.

“Doll-”

“I am not your doll,” You growl. “I am not some pathetic girl you can just order around like you own her and then treat her like absolute shit, so don’t start with me.”

He whispers your name as you stalk past him, heading for a better viewpoint. “I didn’t mean it like that, please…” He trails off, but you're already disappearing into the shadows.

“Damn it!” He huffs, slamming his metal hand into the brick wall before tailing you, finding another alley not far from where you are; watching the loading dock.

A little while later, Bucky curses when he sees two dark SUV’s pull up, followed by another two vans. He watches intently as ten men step out and approach each other- five from each group of vehicles. He strains to hear what they say, but even with his enhanced abilities, he can’t make out anything of use.

Before they get any farther than a few words, you spring out of the shadows close by, easily taking out three guards as Bucky swears again before racing out to help you. By the time he gets there, you’ve taken out another three- Thanks to the element of surprise and training with Natasha.

Firing his Glock quickly he takes out two of the remaining four, lost in the flurry of ringing gunshots and the sound of fists connecting with their targets. Springing onto the remaining two, Bucky tussles with them a moment before knocking them to the ground and turning to see another Hydra agent stalking up behind you as you scuffle with another, his knife drawn. Shit. He must have miscounted. Before Bucky can fire his gun again he’s tackled from behind, his gun skidding just out of reach as he scrambles to fight off his opponents. Rolling away from the first and rushing to his feet, he kicks the second squarely in the chest, sending him flying against the truck, his head lolling to the side; unconscious. Clamoring to his feet, Bucky rushes to grab his gun, firing it in quick succession, hitting his targets expertly- 4 rounds. 2 men. 1 goal. Turning quickly to locate you, he sees you straddling the last one, your knife pressed against his throat and your teeth bared dangerously. Approaching slowly, he watches as you whisper a name… Brock.

Bucky looks on in confusion as the man laughs dryly, his eyes glinting with… confidence?

You dig the knife deeper into Brock’s neck and watch as blood trails slowly down his skin, leaving scarlet trails in its wake. As Bucky steps closer, he catches the end of what the man was saying: “-You always were weak.”

You visibly tense before throwing your dagger to the side and by the time Bucky jumps forward to pull you off, you’ve landed several well-aimed blows and Brock’s face is covered in blood.

You're all breathing hard as you struggle in Bucky’s grasp, lunging at the no longer arrogant man on the ground. “I am not weak, Brock. I survived- I survived every cruel thing you did to me; Every stab wound, every burn, every scar. Every. Single. One. And not only did I survive, but I made the most out of my life after everything you put me through; I got a job that allows me to catch bastards like you, and that job gave me a family- a family that doesn’t know my past and doesn’t care because they love me anyway. And all of that makes me strong. Stronger than you could ever be,” you growl, looking over your shoulder in surprise when you hear sirens and turn to see Fury’s black Tahoe screech to a halt, accompanied by three other black SUV’s; Agents piling out of them, guns drawn.

Bucky grabs your arm and hauls you back as agents surround Brock and you stare up at Bucky. “Did you call him?”

“I did.”

Wrenching out of his grasp, you turn towards him. “Why the hell would you do that? I was doing fine! I had it handl-”

“You mean we! I saved your ass! without me, you would be drowning in a pool of your own blood right now!”

Snarling, you start with a biting remark when the world around you starts to spin and you stumble unsteadily into Bucky’s chest. You barely register Bucky’s arms wrapping around you or him calling your name as hot pain sears through your side. Everything seems fuzzy; Muffled. You swear you hear Bucky say your name but he sounds… panicked maybe? You can't tell, it sounds so far away and all you know for sure is your side feels like fire and then everything goes black.

-------------------------------------------------------

You try to open your eyes but close them again as bright lights flash above you over and over as you're rushed to the OR. You hear voices on both sides of you but it hurts your head to focus on their words. Opening your eyes again, agony greets you as the too-bright lights worsen your headache. Everyone and everything around you looks bleary. All you can feel is pain and a large, warm hand engulfing yours. You feel like your about to fall back into the abyss when you hear another voice-

Bucky?

"It's okay sweetheart, I've got you. Stay with me doll! Please- don't leave me. You’re gonna be okay, It’s okay." You're not sure if he actually says the last part or if it’s your imagination- what you wished he would say. Hell- you're not even sure if it really is Bucky running next to your trolley or if it’s just the lights playing tricks on you.

-----------------------------------

When you wake up everything seems blurry. Blinking, you glance around for the source of the annoying beeping, your eyes landing on a monitor system, the tubes and wires attached at various points on your body. You shift in your bed, wincing when agony sears through your abdomen.

When you groan in pain Bucky jumps to attention, taking in your tormented frown and confusion clouded eyes.

You look even more confused when your gaze lights on him. “How long have I been here? And... why are you here?” You ask; bewildered.

“3 days. I’ve been waiting for you to wake up- I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Bucky confesses, looking up at you through his lashes timidly- Under different circumstances, it would be funny. You’ve seen Bucky many things, but never so… small looking.

Your expression furrows further, your confusion growing. “You- 3 days- Why?”

“I don’t know.”

You look back down at your lap. “Were- were you with me? When they brought me here? I could have sworn I heard you and that you were holding my ha- Nevermind.” You mumble, keeping your eyes downcast.

“I was,” Bucky whispers, a light blush tinting his cheeks. “With you, I mean… And holding your hand,” He confesses under his breath but you hear it nonetheless. You look at him again when he murmurs your name gently. “I was really worried about you.”

Your brows knit together, puzzled beyond belief.

“Why do you care? I thought you hated me?” You whisper so quietly he wouldn’t have heard if not for his enhanced hearing. His gaze jumps to your face as you pick at an imaginary thread on your blanket, blaming your boldness on the drugs they gave you.

“I don’t hate you,” he says softly, looking down at his hands.

You laugh dryly, giving him a sad, calculating look. “Really? Because It sure seems like it- Judging by the cold glares and harsh comments. We’ve known each other for over a year and you're still like this- I’m beginning to think it’s just your personality... Why do you hate me?” You try to keep your voice even but it breaks, coming out as a broken whisper.

“Because it’s easier than the alternative!!” He half yells, his face flashing between anger and something you can’t quite place.

“What’s the alternative?” You whisper, eyes on him as he runs his fingers through his hair.

Huffing out a breath, he stares at his hands like if he does it long enough he won’t have to answer your question. When your stare doesn’t falter he scoffs slightly, shaking his head-

At you or himself you don’t know.

“James…”

Bucky gives a short, mirthless laugh; eyes flashing indecisively.

I have a right to know,” you murmur, hoping to coax him into telling you. “Please…” You beg, more perplexed than ever.

“The alternative would be to tell you I really really like you and ask you out but I can’t do that because I’m scared that you’ll say no so it’s just easier to hate you!” He says frantically, face flushing scarlet as his jaw clenches in a hard line to stop himself from saying more.

Your move your lips but no sound comes out as his words sink in; recognition dawning on you.

“I- You made me think you hated me so that you wouldn’t have to ask me out? What the hell, Barnes?” You fume, watching as his eyes widen at your outburst and he ducks his head in embarrassment. “Yeah… That’s about the size of it, Doll.”

“Do you have any idea what you did to me Bucky? How many nights I went to bed crying because of you? How many times I rearranged my gym schedule and faked being sick so I wouldn’t have to go somewhere you were? All because you didn’t wanna ask me out! And you know what, the amazing part is that I couldn’t even hate you after all of it- Even though you were a total asshole I still liked you and thought you were amazing!” You finish, breathing hard.

“You like me?” Bucky asks, his whole face lighting up with hope.

“Really? That’s all you got from that?” You laugh, quirking an eyebrow at him as your eyes glint with amusement.

“Um, yes?”

You burst out laughing at his confused puppy look, gasping when a wave of pain washes over you. "Well, I guess that's the important part," you huff playfully.

Bucky chuckles lightly but his eyebrows draw together in a puzzled line when you stare at him expectantly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm waiting for you to ask me out like you said you would, dummy, " you tease, the corner of your mouth turning up in a smile as his eyes light with understanding.

"Hey, doll?" He asks, continuing when you give a low hum of acknowledgement. "Would you like to go out with me?"

Your whole face lit up as your eyes sparkled. "James Buchanan Barnes, I thought you'd never ask."

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Reblog with tags! Please tell me what you think!

#kits writing #i hate you more #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x y/n #angst #fluff #whump #hurt-comfort #angst to fluff #bodyguard AU #bodyguard au

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xxrat--punkxx · 3 years

Text

JUMPING ON THIS BAND WAGGON

Ok here’s my 2020, tw//mentions of suicide and abuse

(Strong start lmao) 2020 sucked ass lemmi tell ya. This year was a fucking train wreck from the start, ur hay I got character development so who cares. Well let’s start with a review, bad things first.

Yall remember when everyone was scared shields of COVID?. Lol. But that’s stating the obvious. When we went into lockdown I was first like fuck yeah summer lol, but then the threat of ‘staying home for the rest of the year’ set in, bing in my first year of sixth form I really understand the stakes of exams next year. So having to stay home for the rest of the year freaked me the fuck out. I literally couldent cope, having to do all classes online was fucking hell, they were never zoom classes either, just ‘lmao do the work and hand it in’ which was near impossible for me. I was also in the constant ‘oh no I’m so stressed but I will do NOTHING about this lmao~’. As the days turned to weeks and inevitably MONTHS, my mental health said buckle up bitches. Days were spent sitting in my room on my phone doing NOTHING, meanwhile this perpetual notion of stress played in my head yet there I sat not having the will or motion to move.

Then my parents got involved. Now THATS when shit went from pretty crummy to awful, now I was living with them constantly I was able to see who they really were with no real filter. And oh god do I have issues, I didn’t even fucking know. Every day was an argument, my mom was the worst, the MANIPULATION, the constant ‘you're tearing this family apart’ or ‘so I’m the problem?’ Or the fucking indecent playing the victim. And I all only just realised, that they have been doing this ALL MY LIFE. Dad got involved but he was just physically violent, only twice tho. The worst part was my work, admittedly yes, I didn’t do everything I was given, but I tried, I really did with what little motivation I had. But with just one ‘oh your daughter hasn’t handed in this work’ I was a ‘lazy, good for nothing failure’ to quote ‘who will never go anywhere in life’ so I’d spend the rest of the day crying while they play the victim bury saupying I was abusing their love and just using them for money. But the next day be like ‘oh I’m so proud of you you're doing so well’ having that statement being completely unrelated to the previous events. This was constant. So that’s that story. I won’t talk much about Black Lives Matter because we all know about how that went. But it really affected me, I found myself crying over the victims multiple times. And the lack of support for the movement my peers or family showed made it fucking worse. Crying was a common occurrence for me now, mental health really taking a nosedive, being too scared to call myself ‘depressed’ or ‘mentally ill’ to any extent because I know I’m faking it and just want validation. That was also constant. Fun times huh.

BUT IT GETS WORSE 🥲, then I had to go back to school, awful to fucking abhorrent now. Year two of sixth form fun right? Sure, if u take away the ‘no free time period’ or the wanting to kill mystery for literally a whole 3 weeks. That was my lowest peak. Ever. I’ve never wanted to kill myself before then, don’t like that feeling. Shocker huh. That mixed with the constant anxiety of nothing is right anymore and also needing to succeed at school all made one healthy dose of ‘.exe has stopped working’ juice. Yet I played the fool, acting happy as if nothing had happened, or was happening at least, and venting by imagining scenes in my head with fictional characters lmao. Telling myself ’u can’t kill yourself because u don’t deserve too and ur just asking for attraction’. Then midterms happened blah blah blah, stress but I’m numb to it now that whole story.

But that’s not to say there wasn’t a silver lining.

Onto the good things finally, yes the year was probably one of the worst years I’ve been through in my life it did not go without its positives. For example early this year I got into borderlands properly, I finally explored the fandom and had a look at what it was like. Albeit a slow process considering I was still predominantly on Instagram at the time, and finding a community of a fandom on there is impossible. I started browsing Pinterest or the Internet for images that would link to my favourite characters, Who were to no ones surprise is the calypso twins. Pinterest led me to artworks and artworks led me to the infamous Lazulizard. Who I cherish all my being. Three weeks later after looking at her entire tumblr blog and stalking her of pretty much all her content (sorry for that by the way) I found border-spam. By this point I didn’t have tumblr and I had no intention of getting it seeing as an ongoing war I’ve had with myself since 2012, declaring I will be the bigger man and never get tumblr, which in hindsight was an awful mindset. Seeing as tumblr is probably one of my favourite places on Earth right now. But after also stalking border spams account, again sorry, and starving her of any content she’d ever posted. I was happy that this fandom although as niche as it is was actually getting content. At the time spam and lazu were absolute gods to me. Being the sole producer of a fandom I probably wasn’t even in properly, having both impeccable writing and impeccable art like good God. I would often think ‘wow wouldn’t it be incredible if I actually got to talk to them one day’, now look at me I’m doing commissions for both of them good God. And to be short joining tumblr felt like a fever dream and it’s probably the greatest thing I could’ve done this year, my parents are wrong, talking to strangers is amazing.

Something notable of mention this year as I actually got to figure out who I am as a person, I was able to find my own style and to find my interests, specifically in what I liked in terms of clothing. I thought I was LOL 2012 goth hipster but no apparently I’m manic Pixie dream girl. Going from pink is the ugliest colour in the world to having it be the only colour I will ever wear. I made some pretty big choices this year like cutting pretty much all of my hair off and dying it for the first time. Thanks strict parents for only letting me do that one now. But like I said I went to a character Ark and you know what I like it. I also played BioShock fallout and horizon zero dawn for the first time this year starting to really feel like a proper epic gamer, good lord kill me, and falling in love with all of them almost immediately. I also figured out on a plant mum and I’m into vulture culture although my parents have to disagree with that one. Asking to buy an Horse and fox skull somehow scared them a little bit can’t seem to figure out why lmao.

So a conclusion, Fuck you 2020 you made me miss two comic cons and I will never forgive you for that shit I am SO mad. But I will give you the benefit of the doubt you did make me meet some absolutely incredible people who I consider my friends, despite going against every single Internet safety law I was ever taught as a child. But you know what who gives a flying shit I love you guys. So that’s what I wanted to say. I want to say thank you to everyone on here and everyone is following me or even interacted me with on that matter. You mean the world to me and I really fucking mean it. Are you going to be nothing but amazing ever since I walked onto this fucking hell hole. And what I go through all of this bullshit again if it means I ended up here? You know what I think I just might. So again I thank you and I hope your year didn’t go as badly as mine, and fuck it bring on whatever the fucks next!

Honourable mention of this year was The time Elisa actually complimented me and I cried a little bit and had a panic attack but you know that’s for another day

🥺💕

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crash-cinematic-universe · 4 years

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Home

pairing: Peter Maximoff/reader

summary: Peter Maximoff wants to feel at home.

Song: Home by Cavetown

Warnings: insecurity issues, abandonment issues

other notes: holy fuck, i’m really proud of this one. Peter Maximoff deserves the world and I’m determined to give it to him.

(gif is not mine, credit to @shhh-no-ones-home)

________________________________________________________________

Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love but I guess

This avoids the stress of falling out of it

Peter remembers the days he spent in his mother’s basement, lying on his bed absentmindedly staring at the ceiling. He remembers the crippling feeling of loneliness, the fear he felt during those late nights, the anger that festered in him every day he was alone. He didn’t believe in love-- at least, he didn’t think he could ever love or be loved. Of course, he loved his mother and his sisters, that was a given, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was dragging them down. He couldn’t shake the idea that he was a leech, a loser that was so emotionally drained all the time that he still lived in his mother’s basement at the age of 27. He didn’t think he really deserved love. Sometimes he made excuses for his feelings; every rom-com involves heartbreak, after all, and if he never fell in love he’d never have to feel that. But Peter couldn’t help but yearn for someone to love him, even if it did involve a bit of heartbreak. All Peter wanted was to feel at home.

Are you tired of me yet?

I'm a little sick right now but I swear

When I'm ready I will fly us out of here

Peter remembers the day he met you. He remembers the way you smiled at him when he introduced himself, and the way butterflies erupted in his stomach and the way his heart skipped a beat any time you looked his way. He suddenly felt the need to be close to you, the urge to have you pay attention to him and only him. He got scared, scared that he was being too clingy, too needy, scared that you’d get sick of him and run away like everyone else. He may be the fastest man on Earth, but he could never keep up with those who ran away from him. He waited for the day that you’d snap, the day that you’d confess that he’s been nothing but a bother and a burden and that you wanted nothing to do with him. That day never came. Peter soon saw his fears grow into something much bigger. He was absolutely terrified of the fact that he was falling in love with you. The scariest part? He started to believe that you were falling in love with him, too.

(Mmm) I'll cut my hair

(Mmm) To make you stare

(Mmm) I'll hide my chest

And I'll figure out a way to get us out of here

Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh

Peter remembers his schemes, his elaborate plans and stunts done only to get your attention. He remembers the day he walked into your classroom with bright red hair, he recalls the flabbergasted look on your face that preceded your faux cries of pain. He quickly dyed his hair back to it’s original silver hue the moment he realized you didn’t like it. He always finds himself smiling whenever he thinks of the way you stroked his hair the day it went from red to silver, the soft stroke of your gentle hands as you whispered into his ear. He leaned into your touch, and for a second, he wasn’t afraid of being in love. That was only for a second though, and the dreadful thoughts and beliefs that he was on borrowed time returned. He figured the only way to stay sane was to stay away from you. He soon discovered that being away from you was much, much worse than being afraid.

Turn off your porcelain face

I can't really think right now and this place

Has too many colors, enough to drive all of us insane

Peter remembers the strong feeling of being completely overwhelmed. He remembers how many things he felt whenever he got too close to you. He always seemed confused, yet content. The mansion, however, was a different story. It never stopped being overwhelming, it sometimes got so bad that he had to find a corner and hide away for a while; he needed to shut off his brain. There were days where it got really bad, and Peter would refuse to leave his room, collapsing under the pressure of being an X-Man, of being a mutant, of just being Peter Maximoff. He thought he was going insane-- he really believed that he wouldn’t make it. But then you’d be there to comfort him, to keep him grounded in reality for a while, and he’d be all right.

Are you dead?

Sometimes I think I'm dead

Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head

But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet

Peter remembers the times he spent with you in your room. He remembers the way he’d lay his head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat as you’d gently stroke his hair and listen to the rain. He’d always been so hesitant when it came to physical affection; Peter was unimaginably touch starved yet so convinced that he didn’t deserve affection that he avoided it overall. Once he did allow physical affection, he couldn’t get enough of it. He was always craving it, always desperate to feel your skin on his. He relished every touch like it was the last, he lived in the warmth that you radiated for as long as he could each night because he was so very afraid that he’d be cold again. It was heaven. Every morning that he woke up in your arms felt like a dream, and he often wondered if he actually was dead. He wondered if a mission had gone south and he’d been sent to heaven where he could be with you forever. Every night he was afraid to fall asleep, he was so very afraid that you’d be gone when he woke up. He always fell asleep with a tight grip on you, pulling you as close as possible. Almost as if you were going to disappear.

(Ooh) My eyes went dark

(Ooh) I don't know where

(Ooh) My pupils are

But I'll figure out a way to get us out of here

Peter remembers the feeling of utter emptiness the first time you fought. He remembers the shame he felt when you walk away from him, but he felt a dreadful, crippling fear overtake him more so than shame. He’d been reckless on a mission, he’d gotten too cocky during a fight and it almost cost him his life. He remembers seeing you walk into the hospital wing of the mansion and he remembers how horrible he felt when you started crying. He remembers how disappointed in him you were, how worried you seemed. Neither of you shouted, no voices were raised, but your words hurt worse than yelling ever could. You weren’t mean, no, you were concerned. You expressed how much you cared for him, how badly you wanted him to be happy and safe. He pushed you away, and the moment you left the room he broke down. Hank thought he was in pain due to his injuries, and Peter was too embarrassed to admit what he was crying about. He went to sleep cold that night.

Get a load of this monster

He doesn't know how to communicate

His mind is in a different place

Will everybody please give him a little bit of space?

Peter remembers the first time he discovered his mutation. He remembered running down the street with his friends and before he knew it he was 30 miles away from his house. Sometimes, when he sleeps, he hears their screams. They all called him a mistake, an abomination, a monster. After a while, he started to believe it. His friends all ran away, and Peter resided in the basement from then on. He did everything he could to be liked, to be accepted; he hid his mutation, broke 8 world records, hell, he even went to the Olympics and won. They had taken away his medals once they found out he was a mutant, recounted his records, and exposed him to the world. He shut himself off from the world, believing that all he’d ever be was a failure. An unlovable, mutant, monster.

Get a load of this train wreck

His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet

But little do we know, the stars

Welcome him with open...

Peter remembers the days where the shame consumed him. He remembers the tears he shed alone in his basement. His intrusive thoughts and insecurities couldn’t be drowned out by any of his Pink Floyd songs. His past failures and disappointments couldn’t be diminished by his high scores he got on his stolen Ms. Pacman machine. There were days where he wished he could be anyone else. He projected himself onto the characters on his T.V. and in his video games. He adopted the personalities of all his favorite characters until he was a shadow of his former self, a mangled bunch of nothing that couldn’t cover up what Peter was. He got so confused, losing touch with who he was until he couldn’t tell the difference. He lost sight of where the fiction ended and Peter began. It was all so ironic, he was so desperate to be anyone other than Peter Maximoff and when he got his wish, he wanted nothing more than to be himself again. The shame only grew from there.

Get a load of this monster

He doesn't know how to communicate

His mind is in a different place

Will everybody please give him a little bit of space?

Peter remembers the first time he saw you use your mutation. He remembers the way you moved through the air and sent little bursts of energy across the room. In that moment, Peter didn’t see you as a monster. He didn’t think you were unlovable or evil or a mistake. He thought you were amazing. He thought you were extravagant. He felt a swell of pride as you bested Warren in a fight, he loved you with all of his heart. It didn’t matter to him that you were a mutant-- he loved you regardless. That’s when he realized real love can’t be lessened or dampened by something as futile as a mutation. Peter realized everyone who called him a monster didn’t really care about him. He stopped thinking about them and started thinking about how much he loved you, how he’d lay down his life for you. Suddenly, Peter wasn’t so afraid.

Get a load of this train wreck

His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet

But little do we know, the stars

Welcome him with open arms.

Peter remembers the day that he realized he didn’t have to hide anymore. He remembers the way you’d told him he had nothing to be ashamed of. You had looked him in the eyes and told him you fell in love with Peter Maximoff, the clumsy, caring, gentle, kindhearted man that he was. You fell in love with Peter Maximoff and all of his hurt and insecurities and fears and shame. You fell in love with Peter Maximoff and his great taste in music and his unique sense of humor and his amazing ability to best anyone at Pacman. You fell in love with Peter Maximoff, the silver mutant who had previously believed he didn’t deserve love and that no one could ever really love him. You fell in love with Peter Maximoff and for the first time in his life, Peter wasn’t ashamed to be Peter Maximoff anymore.

Time is

Slowly

Tracing his face

But strangely he feels at home in this place

Peter is a bit older now, and so are you. Peter loves to look back on his life every now and then just to see how far he’s come. Peter isn’t ashamed, nor is he afraid. He’s content. He’s happy. He’s unashamedly himself. He’s married. He’s married to the first person he’s ever loved. He’s married to the only person who made him unafraid of love. He’s married to the only person who could keep him grounded when everything got too overwhelming. He’s married to the person who always kept him warm when he slept. He’s married to the person who only ever wanted him to be safe and happy. He’s married to the first person who made him unafraid. He’s married to the only person who showed him that being Peter Maximoff wasn’t a bad thing. He’s married to the only person who ever made him feel at home.

#peter maximoff #evan peters #xmen #xmen fanfiction #quicksilver #cavetown #home #xmen imagine #xmen songfic #songfic #pietro maximoff #peter maximoff x reader

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juusasu4evagrrl · 4 years

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Nagato was right/A half assed defense of Naruto villains

So I’m rewatching Naruto, and Nagato was right. Only in ideology and his actions are unforgivable, but he was right! The fact that his ideology was condemned along with his actions is honestly so weird to me. He wasn’t just some heartless villain with one hell of a god complex like the fandom portrays him to be, although he did have a god complex. He was a very complex character and he could have served one of the most important roles in the series. He was a flawed and traumatized man who, despite it all, was able to retain a grasp on basic (basic he was insane in the membrane we are all aware yes) empathy and greater good.

In the beginning (his backstory I mean), Nagato was an angry kid severely wronged by an absolutely wrecked system. He took that righteous anger and used it for the sweetest, most deserved revenge, and although this was just icing on the cake for him, long lasting and effective change was undeniably part of the deal.

He used his final two drops of empathy to work towards a better future for the Shinobi system. To punish people in power for protecting systems that benefited only themselves over actual people children even. Where he went wrong was his contempt towards the average Shinobi. He shouldn’t have gone after the lackeys for the short comings of their masters but you know villains gotta villain.

Back to the good stuff though Nagato worked for the liberation of people as a whole. Regular citizens. In systems that prioritized Shinobi over all (I’ll be fair, only for exploitive purposes) and cared little for the well being of civilian citizens, Nagato fought for the average person. Not to say he did a good job of it, *cough cough Almighty Pushed that whole county or wateva cough* he was shit at protecting civilians but he wanted to create a world where the average person was understood, valued, and connected. Y'all considering he lived in a universe where Konoha, yes ‘Ethnic Cleansing is not that bad and actually a really good way to suppress uprisings we saw coming and definitely could've avoided' Konoha is the human rights poster child, ease up on the lost radical demanding peace babes we got bigger problem.

I want to be very clear, his actions were unforgivable and not even that revolutionary. Bro said 'fire, meet ur match' and then legit pulled out a match book. However his heart was in the right place. I'm not defending Nagatos actions and I sure as hell don't believe he should have been hailed as a hero for having the right idea. Simply I think it was the wrong choice to end the arc with Pein sacrificing his life after a shitty talk no jutsu lecture and Naruto crowd surfing in the crater it took 15 filler episodes to turn back into Konoha. Kishimoto had a golden opportunity to teach our sunshine boy main a vitally important lesson about the world around him. This was a perfect moment for growth and maturity from Naruto. An opportunity to get his head out of the clouds and tune into the systems and hierarchies of power that he been brought up to trust blindly. To finally understand how they hurt him first and foremost cause Uzumaki you should be mad, but the people he loves most as well. Heck the whole art, culture, world of being a Shinobi which Naruto holds so near and dear to his heart is constantly in jeopardy. Pre Nagato we know of no other attempts to combat the cycle of "lets turn a bunch of children into human weapons capable of decimating entire heavily militarized cities, they will not use this against us and I do not foresee this backfiring whatsoever" (hey to be fair they got a lot of them kid ok it didn't always go up in flames but you see why I have an issue with the whole idea to begin with right?). Peins childhood, saddled with an untamable destructive power from birth fully unable to harness it, his found family, the loss of that family, his ability to continue on, plan, organize, and act. Naruto should have learned so much from Pein. The parallels in their lives are unending, they were raised by the same master trained in the same discipline. Naruto as a series is sustained by the idea that all is passed down. Ancestral and generational connections, evey hero is the son of another, every victory is made possible by the last Every generation expands upon the legacy of the previous. The Pein arc could have ended with Nagato sacrificing himself, his violent methodology passing with him but his ideology, the empathy, the genuine longing to live in a world where hurt can be held and felt and understood and the passion to really work for it that can live on in Peaceful, loving, hardworking Naruto. Naruto could embody Peins legacy understanding not only that hurt and grief be held and validated but a key component Peins missed We can heal through the hurt, and it is the healing that brings empathy not the hurt .

The fact that Kishimoto tried to throw the baby out with the bath water and condemn everything about Nagato is so yucky to me. It’s a problem that I encounter so often when interacting with Kishimoto’s work. Most, if not all of his ‘villains’ are right ideologically speaking, and only wrong when it comes action and execution. Obito, Madara, Sasuke and Nagato were all right. All simply taking out just rage on a broken system and in the case of the first three a system designed to to suppress them. All of these characters took their beliefs to an extreme but that doesn’t mean their beliefs should be discounted and condemned. They were all right to revolt against the system and attempt to change it.

I mean let’s face it, it’s 2020 you should realize by now that Konoha and the other world powers were police states, pawns of their respected Daimyos with no interest outside of maintaining the inherently oppressive status quo. They needed to go, they were way past the point of a few changes here and a little bit of reform there. They needed to be scrapped and rebuilt.

The villains of Naruto especially Nagato were the only ones that understood that. And they should not be condemned for that part of their characters! Honestly the fact that they are makes me think I’m in a fandom with a bunch of fucking weirdos. Nagato saying “the world shall know pain.” was a sick catchphrase!

And like I get villains that are wrong for all of the right reasons, but Kishimoto and his unwillingness to condemn all that authoritarian bullshit in a show meant for children takes it way too far. The man jumps at every chance he gets justify shady politics. See one of the biggest plot points in the entire 700 episode long series is just a lukewarm defense of state mandated population control.

Hot take, but I believe the only reason half of his villains are genocidal maniacs is because ideologically they’re too strong. So he need to make them extremists because anything less and their actions would be fully justifiable.

Anyways this rant is a mess and I over simplified a ton of stuff left out a bit but whatever I said what I said

Tldr: The Naruto series makes me uncomfy. I think every day about what would have happened if the pain arc had been handled better, shit would've been cool.

#anti naruto fandom #naruto #pain #Nagato #sasuke #obito uchiha #madara #rant #this fandom half dead as it is makes me want to blow my brains out

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astudyinfreewill · 3 years

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“look what you made me do” 2/? | masterpost

aka: me making taylor swift songs about dean winchester and/or deancas bc it’s what dean himself would want

second song on deck, as promised; this one actually has quite a few cas beats in it, especially at the start, despite it having a dean vibe overall, so it should be interesting. again, bonus fanvid link at the end <3

this is me trying

i've been having a hard time adjusting i had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting

ok, we start off strong with a couplet that could suit either dean or cas. “the shiniest wheels” is actually a perfectly fitting metaphor for a show that treats cars like emotional avatars of the people who drive them (i could so easily go into a digression about how the same thing happens in trc but this is the wrong post for that... how do i keep finding myself emotionally invested in car-fetishizing media while barely being a can-drive gay myself). ANYWAY, the first thing that comes to mind is the impala and how it’s pretty much synonymous with dean’s sense of self, how it gets wrecked and rebuilt over the course of the show, often tied in to his emotional state. and dean, well. he’s built up a lot of trauma over the years, but he’s also just getting older, as humans do.

on the other hand, we could also see it as a cas line - he’s not as much of a carfucker car aficionado as dean but he’s an adoptive winchester so hey, it still kinda works (rip to the pimpmobile, gone but not forgotten). what i MEAN is -- cas has been slowly falling from grace ever since season 4. he was becoming more human in season 5 already, with a grim prediction of his human future in 5x04; then lived as human for a while in season 7; then became completely human in season 9 before regaining his grace. but in season 15, again, his grace was apparently failing (boy it would be SUCH a shame if that plot point just, like... got dropped... 😐). substitute “wings” for “wheels” and you get a picture of someone who used to be this unstoppable, super-powered angel soldier that demons cowered in fear of, but has slowly become more human over time. as for “a hard time adjusting”... well, cas’ journey towards humanity has not been the easiest transition: it’s come with self-doubt, mental and physical pain, and of course, as he learned about love: heartbreak.

TL;DR: LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST AND THESE GUYS ARE TIRED.

i didn't know if you'd care if i came back; i have a lot of regrets about that

‘kay, this next part is definitely cas. cas who, as i mentioned in the previous post, just keeps leaving, whether that’s because he’s sacrificing himself or taking off on his own. and because that typically goes over like a lead balloon with dean, either because it leaves him grieving and traumatised or it plays right into his abandonment issues (or both - hello purgatory arc!), cas would be tentative about coming back. it’s also very apparent that castiel feels like the winchesters only value him for his abilities and powers (and after all, he’s been created to be a soldier), so if he feels like he’s not being helpful enough, he also tends not to feel wanted (again: dean wants him to stay, but cas wants to be asked to stay). plus, we know every time they’ve had a falling out it takes dean a bit to get over his anger (“dean, i thought i was doing the right thing”; “yeah, you always do”) so i don’t think cas takes his forgiveness for granted, especially if he has lied to him in the process (yes i’m thinking about the mixtape episode). “a lot of regrets”, indeed.

pulled the car off the road to the lookout, could've followed my fears all the way down; and maybe i don't quite know what to say, but i'm here in your doorway.

here, again, the car can easily work as a metaphor for someone’s emotional state. pulling over to take a breather, to try to assess things from a distance; and with lookout points so often being perched on steep hills, it’s easy to imagine the sense of vertigo, your own fear and self-doubt almost pushing you towards dangerous, self-destructive ideas. and we know cas doesn’t do things by halves - when he’s committed to something he believes is right, he goes all out. and yes, that has led to more than one falling out.

but despite that - despite his worst fears telling him he should not come back to dean unless he’s “coming back with a win”, or able to protect him from harm (yes i’m thinking about the mixtape episode AGAIN), he does always come back to him. it’s the one thing that dean can always depend on, castiel finding his way back to him like dean is his true north. i’m here in your doorway; the please take me back once more is implied.

i just wanted you to know that this is me trying i just wanted you to know that this is me trying

(and dean does take him back, because however many times castiel feels that he has failed in his mission, he always comes back and tries again, tries harder, tries to make it right or do it better. and that’s something dean relates to - fucking up in the worst ways and getting beaten down but always getting back up, always starting over, always trying again. in fact, he’s kind of the one who taught cas that. and with that-- we move over to the dean portion of this.)

they told me all of my cages were mental so I got wasted like all my potential

ah, it wouldn’t be a dean pov without some good old fashioned self deprecation. “all of my cages were mental” isn’t 100% accurate in dean’s case because he has been dealt a pretty shit hand by life, but he also excels at self-sabotage. “I got wasted” is of course an allusion to his alcoholism, but then we have the clever play on words with “wasted potential”, which... hits close to home. all dean’s ever done is tried to live up to what he thought he should be, always feeling like he was falling short. never quite the favourite son, never the man his father thought he should be, not strong enough to resist hell, not the righteous sword of michael the angels expected, not good enough for the people he loves not to leave him, just not enough.

and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad i have a lot of regrets about that

...as i said above: though dean does always forgive the people he loves, it still takes him quite a bit to get over his anger at them. and when he’s angry, he lashes out, often saying things that come off cruel, things he absolutely does not mean. and this part reminds me, yet again, of dean’s painful confession in 15x09, about how he gets so angry and doesn’t know why (of course, the answer is trauma and childhood abuse; but he has no way to process that); and he tries to stop it but he can’t, and he always, always regrets it in the end.

i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere fell behind all my classmates and i ended up here

oh, dean. dean winchester with his ged and his give ‘em hell attitude. he breaks my heart. i touched on this in my previous post, but there’s something to be said for the fact that dean had to grow up so fast, he really didn’t grow at all in some ways ( “so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere”). from a young age he was shoved in a parental role, having to be both a father and mother to sam, which meant never getting to exist just for himself. which of course, in turn, means he never got to develop a healthy degree of emotional maturity. in “bad boys”, we find out that the only time dean even got close to being a normal teenager, receiving positive reinforcement by sonny and bonding with his peers, john ripped him right out of that safe haven; and by the time “after school special” is set in, he’s given up on ever getting a shot at a healthy environment, using denial as a coping mechanism by trying to pass off his and sam’s shitty, depressing lives as super edgy and cool.

pourin' out my heart to a stranger but i didn't pour the whiskey i just wanted you to know that this is me trying i just wanted you to know that this is me trying at least i'm trying

i don’t really need to explain this bit i guess, but it’s about the implications of how it can somehow be easier to open up to a complete stranger rather than someone you care about; and how for dean, who is used to frequenting seedy bars and dives, one-night stands are as much about comfort than they are about pleasure. that’s the only way he knows how to let himself be touched, seen, held -- because of course, “no chick flick moments”, and besides, we know that when he falls in love he falls hard, so it’s safer to just roll in and out of town.

the interesting part in this context though, is that “but i didn’t pour the whiskey”, especially since we know dean, like every other winchester, tends to drown out his problems with alcohol; so him choosing to not do that, and instead just look for comfort from a stranger (whether it’s through sex or just chatting away at a bar) is, in itself, a sign of trying to do better. because if there’s one thing dean knows how to do, is trying, and trying, and trying again. in fact, as i mentioned above, it’s kinda where cas learned it too. and we know dean is a stand-in for human nature, so of course, this is also a larger discourse of how humans are flawed and imperfect but can always improve, always do better, always try harder or be more. and maybe that’s what makes a righteous man, really.

and it's hard to be at a party when i feel like an open wound it's hard to be anywhere these days when all i want is you you're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

this next part... listen. i don’t know how it fits into the narrative of trying, but what i do know is i can’t stop thinking about grieving dean. about how every time he loses cas, a little piece of him dies too, but it’s a piece that gets bigger and bigger every time, carving a hollow inside him. it’s unsightly, it’s unforgiving, it’s raw - it’s like an open wound. and as much as dean has always taken on the role of the person who puts on a brave face, makes a joke, and pushes all his feelings down, well -- it’s hard to that; it’s hard to focus on anything else when he’s missing cas like a phantom limb. “all i want is you” which is to say i’d rather have you, cursed or not; which is to say, i need you. need you badly enough to see your face everywhere after escaping purgatory, just like “a flashback in a film reel”.

and i just wanted you to know that this is me trying (maybe i don't quite know what to say) i just wanted you to know that this is me trying; at least i'm trying.

so, yes. dean is trying. he’s always trying, even though healing and progress are not linear or easy. and he knows he’s got anger issues, he knows he’s bad with his words, but damn it, he always shows up for the people he loves, and he tries to do better, every. damn. time. partly because he’s us, he’s all of us, he’s human perfectibility incarnate; and partly because he loves cas so damn much and maybe if he gets it right this time he’ll get to keep him -- and i don’t know which of the two options makes my heart hurt the most.

---

fanvid rec link here! it’s only for the second half of the song, so the more dean-centric one :)

#spn #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #spn meta #deancas #taylor swift #lyrics #taylor swift x destiel #lwymmd #mp #this is me trying #long post

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chisatowo · 3 years

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Sci fantasy au ramble time lets gooooo

So I've been thinking a lot abt morfonica in the sci fantasy au, and more specifically their respective relationships with their families. Now I've touched a bit on Touko before since they have a bit of a worst case scenario situation, but I don't think I've really talked abt the other four much before, and I probably should talk more abt how they were adopted into their families to begin with.

Rui has the simplest backstory, with her being adopted in a fairly normal manner. Her parents were in a situation where they couldn't afford to raise a werecat baby that wouldn't know to keep itself hidden since their identities as werecats were very much not public within even their household, but they still wanted a kid, so adopting a human child seemed to be their best option. They did their best to hide the fact they were werecats from her, but that resulted in them being.... Incredibly distant. And it's not even like they did a good job at hiding it, Rui still ended up growing up with a vague understanding of what they are.

I've touched a bit on Nanami before, but I didn't rly talk much abt how she was raised. Despite her family being demons, she was raised fairly normally, well as normal as she could get anyways. Her parents were still artists and tried to encourage her to follow a similar path, but some of her other adoptive relatives lived in the same manor, and while they were generally polite enough, she still ended up having to sit through a lot of demon magic lessons along with being taught how to make proper demonic contracts, which while usually a human wouldn't be able to do any of those things, she was able to thanks to the great amounts of demonic magic inside her that was keeping her alive. Thanks to being able to do all this stuff along with the casual nature most of her families discussions with her abt demon stuff, she actually didn't know for a long time that she was even human, let alone adopted. Yeah most of their true forms looked very different from her, but they rarely took those forms and it wasn't like anyone had told her. It wasn't until her family got the notice about the evacuation that she was told about any of this, so yeah that's a lot of stuff that was suddenly dumped on her

Unlike Nanami and Rui, Mashiro has very much been aware of the fact that she's adopted for a long time, so it's not a big deal to her. Her moms are both vampires, and that combined with the fact that one of them is an ocean vampire meant that she spent her early years fairly isolated, although they still tried their best to allow her to interact with other people when they could. They ended up adopting her after her ocean vampire mom saved her from a ship wreck when she was only a little over a year old, and Mashiro has absolutely heard this story many times djdbhdjd. Her moms are very doting, although they can be a bit clingy at times thanks to the fact that they aren't technically allowed to raise her. When it comes to vampires, it takes a lot of work just to be allowed to move in with a non vampire, even more so to date one, and it's basically impossible to adopt one, since there's basically no systems set in place for it. You want a kid? Great, they'll encourage that, but it either has to be biologically yours or you can apply to be assigned to raise an orphaned or turned vampire kid. Mashiro doesn't fit into either of these categories, so they have to br very careful about raising her to avoid getting the attention of the local vampire organisations. This actually becomes a much bigger issue later in the story, but dw abt it for now

Now Tsukushi is the other one who's pretty much always been well aware that she's adopted, but this time it's actually a bit more of a touchy subject for her, thanks to how much controversy within vampire communities her existence has brought, which others outside of her immediate adoptive family make very clear at almost every given opportunity. Basically, she ended up being filed into vampire records and adopted into a waiting family as a turned baby, after a vampire who had lost control over their beast form had killed her parents and only barely didn't kill her, although she was still infected by their venom. She was registered into the systems before she had been properly turned, and given to a family to raise her. Now, after someone is infected by this kind of werebeast or vampire venom, they will get horribly sick, with three possible results. They either die and stay dead, die and then come back as a vampire or werebeast, or in incredibly rare cases, they simply recover. The latter is such a rare event that most modern day vampires and werebeasts don't even know it's a possibility, and well, guess what happened with Tsukushi. This caused a lot of discourse within vampire communities, since a human being allowed to be considered a full member of a vampire family was unheard of, but she had already been fully put in the records, along with fully legally adopted by the family, and at this point the only way to take her out of the picture would be to kill her, which wasn't a great option to say the least. Ultimately it was ruled that there wasn't much that could be done about her situation and that they'd just leave her to be raised within their community, but this was still very much a controversial ruling, even if no one against it could really do anything about it. While Tsukushi's immediate family are generally very caring and do their best to keep her from witnessing too much of the discourse, she is still very much aware of the whole situation. She tries to not focus on it too much, but it definitely doesn't help with her already existing self confidence issues.

#rat rambles #band posting #sci fantasy au #this ended up being about a lot of vampire drama sorry smzgjsysj #but for more elaboration on mashiro's eventual conflict her parents do get found out eventually #if any of you remember the kill chart you may remember that I listed that kanon tries to kill mashiro #thats because she was assigned the job of taking her out after she was found out #luckily though tsukushi was there and kanon rly rly didnt want to actually kill her so they were able to reach a comprimise #tsukushi's family is a part of a different district that kanon is so if tsukushi could have plans to grant mashiro protection #kanon could not kill her and report back to her district that she couldnt to avoid overstepping and causing further conflict #but that means that tsukushi now has to find a way to actually register mashiro for protection before tge higer ups in kanon's district #change their minds #and since the only type of protection thats an option for the two of them are relationship based ones #its fake dating au time babey #it doesnt end with any real romance but they sure do get to be awkward at family dinners together snsbhsh #that doesnt quite get mashiro's moms fully out of trouble though :/#ocean mom is pretty much in the clear since she yknow. lives in the ocean.#but land mom is in a bit more trouble.#shes fine she doesnt die or anything but it is a but rough for a while #yes I have thought too much about this yes these details probably only appear to me no that will not stop me from talkimg abt them

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