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starfleet-jelly · 3 years

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Some Vulcan Headcanons

They have like no base in canon just things I thought about Vulcans most of them don’t have evidence either. Most of my Vulcan fanfics will probably be based off these headcanons, I’ll be adding and editing this post whenever I feel differently or think of new things~ 💕

* Vulcans can outrun humans with speed, however humans can outrun Vulcans by distance.

* Vulcans are better climbers

* Vulcans have death grips. Once they have you, it’s gonna be difficult to get away.

* They have slightly longer fingers, better for climbing!

* Vulcans can’t jump as high as a human can, however, it isn’t by much, a couple inches at most.

* Vulcans eat a lot more than they are shown. Even though they have slow metabolisms they have dense muscles that need lots of protein, luckily there are lots of high protein grains and vegetables on Vulcan.

* Ancient Vulcans were cave dwellers. The caves provided protections of predators and kept them cooler in the extreme heat of Vulcan.

* Due to the fact that the seas are small and in few numbers on Vulcan, most Vulcans cannot swim, however, in coastal towns, more of them have the knowledge on how to swim, but it seems most Vulcans still prefer to not to go for a dip. There is always the odd duck who loves to swim though.

* Before sonic showers, Vulcan use small bucks of water with a rag, or more commonly sand to bathe with

* Because of their muscles and flexibility, Vulcans don’t take a lot of fall damage, even a Vulcan child could fall from the a height that would easily kill a human and walk away with minor injuries

* Vulcan have very strong leg bones and muscles because of the slightly higher gravity than Earth

* Vulcans in the north prefer spicier food while people in the south prefer food with little, if any, spice. Humans to try the food are often stuck with something that seems boring to them, or just downright painful from the spice

* Because of their telepathic abilities, Vulcan babies need a lot of skin contact in their first few months after birth. It is not uncommon for a Vulcan mother or father to carry their infant child to their bare chest, even in public, usually tucked into their robes

* Because Vulcans are touch telepaths children get a sense of calm from their parents when they are in contact but also form familiar bonds, lack of touch can lead to malformation and damage to new neural networks in the infants brain

* Vulcan toddlers are volatile, they have yet to master their emotions and tend to throw fits over many things. Skin contact, such as hugging, holding and cuddling, from their parents usually calms them down. It’s common for children from ages 0-5 to sleep in their parent’s bed as they need near constant contact. During this time Vulcan parents begin to tech meditative practices such as hymns and monturas. As Vulcan children grow older, parents will begin to slowly step away from skin contact in exchange for led meditations

* On Vulcan, it is common practice for one of the parents to stay home and raise the child or children, however, if one of the parent die, close family such as grandparents or aunts and uncles will also help take care of the child or children.

* Young Vulcan children (5-12) do not completely suppress their emotions, they do however learn not to express them. Bullying, fighting, and rebellious behavior is not uncommon for this age group.

* For older Vulcan children (between 13-25) who have difficulty controlling their emotions, even with led meditations, the child is usually sent to a monastery for education.

* Vulcans aren’t fully mature until after the age of 30.

* Vulcans usually don’t experience Pon Farr until after the age of 30, usually between 30-35, but there has been some outliers. Some Vulcans can go through Pon Farr as early as 26 and as old as 40, but this is uncommon and usually means there is a health problem.

* Both male and female Vulcans go through Pon Farr.

* I don’t care what anyone tells me, Vulcans do and will have sex outside of Pon Farr.

* Vulcan ear shape is hereditary. The more curved ears you see on Spock, Sarek, Taurik are less common than the flat ears you see on T’Pol and Tuvok

* Vulcans with light colored eyes tend to have bad vision and worsens with age. They tend to spend more time inside because the sun can be unbearable at times. But Vulcans with light colored eyes can see in the dark better than Vulcans with dark colored eyes. Light colored eyes was a mutation that only accrued after urbanization of Vulcan.

* Vulcans are cold to the touch, like someone who has been outside without a coat in winter. Because they’re naturally cooler Vulcans don’t need to sweat to keep cool. If ancient Vulcans got too hot they could move into caves to cool down.

* Young Vulcans (under the age of 10) and old Vulcans (over the age of 130) have a difficult time keeping warm. On modern Vulcan it is fixed with indoor heating and cooling.

* Vulcan has many hot springs, most of which are underground, and are popular. However most tourists, such a humans, cannot use them as most are too hot.

* Vulcans have two different types of robes. Robes they wear during the day that keep them cool, and robes for night to keep them warm.

* The silk that Vulcans robes are made of are actually from a plant. The plant produces a silk like substance that is sticky to prevent animals from eating it. It’s very strong and ancient Vulcans scrapped the silk from the plants and ate them. Modern day Vulcans grow these plants near the seas in the north and far south near the pole.

* Other Vulcan clothing is made from wool from an animal that is similar to sheep and alpaca. Their wool is usually use to make evening wear. The wool also used in the making of blankets, pillows, and rugs

* The soles of Vulcans shoes are usually made from a hard woody root, which were better for walking on rock. Vulcan shoes can also be made from a type grass that is common on Vulcan, which are better for walking in sand. Shoes for military are made from rubber.

* The reason why Vulcans in tos have all kind of different hair styles is because at that time period Vulcan youth wanted to rebel against common standers, it’s also why T’Pring did not wear a traditional Vulcan wedding dress.

* It’s common for Vulcan women to cover their hair, whether it be long or short. Not only does it keep their hair clean from sand but it also protects their head from the sun.

* There is actually a wide variety of fashion on Vulcan, differing types of robes, dresses, and suits. Most common colors are usually neutrals but silvers, blues, purples, and greens are common in the south while golds, reds, oranges, and yellows are more common in the north.

* The common Vulcan bowlcut, humans call it, is more common in the government and military of Vulcan. The short hair is easy to maintain and keep care of. Many Vulcan citizens has varying hairstyles and most depend on what region they live in. It is not uncommon for Vulcan men and women to have long hair, especially if they do not work in manual labor.

* Most Vulcan men shave their faces. There are many reasons for it, such as, it’s cleaner, easier to maintain, keeps them cooler, and it looks more professional.

* When it comes to body hair, it is 50/50 on who shaves. The area around the reproductive organs are usually maintained but not shaved, as for legs, arms, and under arms, some areas it is more common to save than others. Young Vulcan men usually shave their chest, but as they get older is more uncommon.

* Vulcan women have on occasion worn makeup. Buying makeup on Vulcan is uncommon, many women on Vulcan grow plants that can be use for make up such as flowers that can be ground for lipstick or a crushed leaf for rouge. These plants usually have other uses such as medical or as food.

* Sehlats are not the only pets Vulcans keep. They also keep small rodents and occasionally a ferret like animal too.

* Vulcan pet names are usually old Vulcan names no one uses anymore or names of monsters or animals from ancient Vulcan literature.

* Sehlats aren’t fed meat, but instead high protein grain and vegetables and eggs. Sehlats are naturally omnivores but the need for meat was bred out of thousands of years.

#Vulcans #star trek #Vulcan headcanons #star trek headcanon #Spock #t’pol #Soval #t’pring #Tuvok #vorik #sorry for tagging random Vulcans this applies to them too doesn’t it?

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psalloacappella · 3 years

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reprise

Day 4 Prompt: Teamwork // “I’ll protect you.”

@sasusakublankperiodweek

Ao3 | FFN | ↓

So then, so now. In the simmering tangerine heat, she stands waiting in knee-high boots and the skirt he’s seen her in so often, and he commits her shape to memory through each stage of the return of his sharp sight.

He’s released into a humid dawn with nothing to his name but guilt and the clothes on his back. Things borrowed — the bruises under his eyes, blue.

Emerging from the other side of something indescribable, carrying much more but somehow much less than he arrived with.

Feeling light without the chains of metal and melancholy, the weight of all he’s done. A cyclical cadence of small cold rooms lit by garish bare bulbs and sneers barely concealed by skeptical guards, the entreaties of the interrogation unit, unsure if the gradually softening questions are piteous or a tactic. The same stories to different ears, and the people who adore him creeping at the corners and doors to ensure his treatment is humane.

As the “assigned medic,” as one of the few determined to be able to have even a chance of preventing an escape he has no desire to execute, she’s been his doctor since the first day and his advocate throughout, bringing a semblance of level headedness to the proceedings that Naruto, bless him, isn’t talented in articulating. He’d prefer to raise his voice, brandish fists if he has to, the declaration that he’ll come to blows for his best friend.

They speak around him, Sakura and the last shinobi guard. He lets them.

“He’s been released into my care,” she says stubbornly, folding her arms. Tapping her foot.

The guard has clear reservations, regards her with skepticism.

A fluttering flare of her nostrils, a habit he noticed on day twenty-six; but really, it had only been a forgotten tic of yesteryear, a habit Naruto or even their sensei never failed to induce in her.

“I’m his . . . doctor. I’ll take this from here, thank you.” The acknowledgement is perfunctory, with an edge of dismissal.

She doesn’t unfold her arms or let them fall to her sides until the guard’s long gone, reporting to his next post or perhaps the Hokage’s office, the smoke from his departure whirling and blending with the ripple of a rising summer heat.

Sakura turns, careful to avoid his eyes.

“I suppose that’s that. It’s nice to see you, Sasuke-kun.”

Resists the urge to say he saw her yesterday, and the idiot too, that they’d been around spending far too much time with a criminal, even if newly pardoned. His upcoming stint of house arrest still indicates otherwise.

He knows all the words that would be kind, human, and reasonable to say. Embodying any of those personal qualities would be nice. Instead:

“Why are you here?”

“Actually, I moved around my schedule to make sure I’d be here.”

“I didn’t ask for that.”

“I know.”

She’s not miffed or bothered by him, and that’s what hurts the most. That she expects him to be this: Curt, angry. Broken, fragile. Physically he’s coming together; mentally he’s held up with thin, fraying strings.

She inhales before beginning again, already sounding wary of his potential response.

“For now they’ve assigned you to your previous living space. In the old district.” For all her poise and command when beholding the human body, ever the professional, the fusion of skin and sinew and soul in need of tender loving repair, she’s fiddling with the edge of her skirt and all he wants to do is make her stop.

“I said it wasn’t a good idea,” she adds, intent on staring just past his ear. “No one has been there for years. It’s not your burden.”

“It’s fine.” The strain of unuse, and a little swift. A little mean. Without any further gesture, he turns and heads down the street, the gravitational pull of family ghosts too strong to defy. Then he stops, realizing he’s awkward, unsteady, and forever difficult to read.

Looks at her over his shoulder.

“I’m your escort.” She sounds apologetic, quiet.

He wills her to look him in the eyes, but won’t meet hers. Oh, what does that make him? A coward at best.

He waits until she catches up, their difference in height more than he remembers.

The sensation of her lingering at his shoulder, though, sears through his bones as the catalyst heat of sparks on flint, a familiar biological imprint that feels like coming home.

Three days in a row, she comes to his doorstep.

Three days in a row, she pleads her case.

“Do you think this is good for you? Emotionally, I mean. Sleeping with the ghosts of your past?”

The first attempt to shake her loose goes poorly, and Uchiha Sasuke experiences for the first time and certainly not the last how charmingly infuriating it is to have her stubborn nature focused on him, a spotlight.

Ignoring her questions, unwilling to place a fine point on his obvious dysfunction. “Why are you here, Sakura?”

“What part of ‘released into my care,’ escapes you? You wouldn’t have liked the alternative.”

Each morning visit reveals a wilder man: A little more gaunt, covered in an additional thin layer of dust. She’s terrified the house, this cursed and unforgiving compound moaning his name, will take him back, as moss commandeers the forest floor, as nature reclaims its kin.

“You at least need to eat. Turn on some lights, open windows.”

Sasuke stares at nothing, everything, and in some terrifying moments, only her.

Pressing her knuckles to her lips as she wanders the old rooms, a tomb of memories laden with the skeletons of furniture, saturated with the kinesthesia of many extinguished lives; swiping fingers across surfaces choked with dust; surreptitiously checking that his pillows are comfortable and that curtains get opened and he eats (which, she notes, he isn’t.)

He refuses to engage and watches her silently — simply living, breathing, feels draining — but not once does he order her to go.

She permits his behavior only until Day 4 — so, not very long at all.

Different, with her hair pulled back behind a cloth band of a cheerful color, carrying a box of haphazardly-packed supplies. They stand on the doorstep mirroring one another’s unease, suspended in a place that’s not quite friendship and now, far from war enemies, but a shade of something encompassing nuances beyond.

“If you insist on living among ghosts,” she says, soft but firm, “let’s at least make this all more hospitable.”

Perhaps she notices the way his eyes soften, though he still has trouble facing her head-on. Too bright, earnest, willing to forgive.

I didn't ask you to love me.

Voicing none of this, he instead raises an eyebrow at the box.

“Seems to be more than soap in there.”

A sliver of a moment in which she meets his charcoal eyes — it’s enough to dim the summer sun, melt his bones. Burn down the world.

It cannot be, and here, now, the premonition intuited but not understood in boyhood: Anyone entangled with him will perish.

Together they could catch fire.

Briskly, to distract from her blush, she readjusts the box in her arms.

“There’s food in here, too. And gloves for all four of us, though I’m sure Naruto’ll forgo them.”

“Us?”

“He’s wanted to see you, and we can’t do this on our own.” A pause before she forges ahead, words skipping and speeding up, gathering courage, avoiding his interjections. “I can order them to the yards and common areas, if you’d rather they don’t touch your things. I understand.”

“You don’t need to do any of this,” he says quietly.

The way her eyes sharpen, albeit glimmering with tears, makes Sasuke feel as though he’s losing his control on the little shred of it he might have had.

“We are always a team. And you and I — we can be one too! I know I can’t save you, fix you. But,” she sniffles, voice in vibrato, “we can at least be something.”

He eases the box from her hands, turning his back on her expression of surprise, of wariness. It’s the first time he’s implied she can come in, rather than her opening the door to his makeshift tomb.

Down a hallway, dim and chilled, she follows close behind. The wisps of socks on cold floors, the only sound in silence.

She reaches out.

He tenses, but like so many times under her touch he relents. Lets her fingers weave into the material of his shirt and hold him in place.

If he didn’t feel her, the misty quality of her voice could be calling from another planet.

“I know you believe you deserve this. To be among these ghosts, these dead spirits, as penance. And if that’s what you want, I suppose I can’t stop you. I never could.”

A tether. If she releases him, he has no doubt he’ll absolutely drown.

“But if they come for you, Sasuke-kun, make it hard for you to breathe . . . I’m here, okay?”

He stifles a noise, a growl and a sob and a sigh. Tries to stop her from sinking into him further, becoming sewn to the tapestry of his cursed history. “Sakura—”

But she is his, as she’s always been,

and she is fierce.

(And they end, begin again, forever something old and something new.)

“I’ll protect you.”

#SSBlankPeriod2021 #SSBPDay4 #sasusaku #psalloacappella:SSBP

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anastasiabeaverhousen87 · 4 years

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Make Wise Choices Part 3

Doctor Sharpe

You can feel yourself being held by strong arms and your face being placed in an odd angle. Someone is touching your mouth and your cheeks. You can feel liquid filling your mouth, no not liquid blood and tugging inside your cheeks. A few moments later you begin to hear voices, several voices in fact. You can recognize your sister’s voices and Lena’s but there is one you most definitely do not know who it belongs to. Its quite soothing though and because you don’t feel pain, you take that as a major win for now. Then you seem to notice the tugging and hands on your face continue to prod and touch inside your mouth and now you are intrigued to know what’s is going on.

You try to open your eyes but there’s a bright light directly assaulting your eyes, you first instinct is to hiss and close your eyes again but you find impossible to move your jaw to perform such action and in response the person manhandling your mouth tenses their hold to make sure you don’t move your jaw and the pressure grows stronger this time. The hands touching your jaw are strong and cool soft. You don’t feel scare and you wonder who the person might be.

By now everyone in your proximity notice you began to regain consciousness and now the voices are directed at you.

Alex: “Hold still little one, Doctor Sharpe is here, and she needs to look at your incisions and assess the damage. Please don’t be scare its just us and Doctor Sharpe” says in a very calm and reassuring voice.

Doctor Sharpe? You mentally ask yourself; you don’t know anyone named Sharpe and you know your dentist name is Richards.

Kara: “Shhh little one, we got you. Doctor Sharpe is a friend of Lena and she was super nice to come here and check on you. She is a dentist by the way, so don’t think we would just let anyone just prod and touch your mouth. Lena called her once you passed out, we were worry for you and I mean is not like I don’t appreciate your being here Dr. Sharpe but…”

Lena: “Kara, Love please calm down. Take a deep breath, you are rambling, and you are going to make y/n nervous” -Lena puts a reassuring hand on Kara’s shoulder and that makes the blonde stop and relax.

Kara: “sorry…”

You open your eyes once again, this time you are prepared for the assault of bright light and squint your eyes and can barely distinguish 3 figures standing in front of you, one of them holding your face.

Alex rolls her eyes at her sister “Kara tends to ramble a lot when she is anxious, but honestly thank you for coming so quickly to check on our sister. We really appreciate it” – Alex says with a small but grateful smile aimed to the doctor.

Dr Sharpe: “don’t be, it’s fine” the mysterious person says chuckling a little at Kara’s fluster rambling. The doctor removes her hands from your face and all of the sudden the blinding light is gone - “Honestly it’s okay, don’t worry, I’m used to worried parents and relatives doting over my patients. Its perfectly normal to worry about your love ones, especially when they are as cute as your sister right here”

Y/N: “Wow that voice. Pretty voice. I like it …Hooot” In your drugged out state of mind you think you’re having an inner monologue but you actually voiced those words out loud and you are thankful for the mouth piece you have stuffed next to your cheek and that the words come up a bit sluggish. Still you know everyone understood because you can hear different kinds of snickering coming from the women in the room.

Y/N: “nghhh…”

Dr. Sharpe: chuckles- “Well thank you honey, that is very sweet of you to say. But please try not to speak or move your jaw just yet”

That voice again, you really like that voice and you are finally able to see her face and the owner of that voice. You are mesmerized by the eyes looking straight at you, like she is looking into your very soul. The most astonishing blue eyes you have ever seen in your life. And that face, blonde soft waves and kind face. And in that moment, you are so grateful for the fever and swollen cheeks, otherwise you would be bright red with embarrassment and wouldn’t be able to hide it.

Lena: “Actually Cassandra is not a dentist, she is actually an amazing Oral & Maxillofacial Surgeon and a good friend of mine” Lena says smiling at the doctor and both your sisters look quite impressed and a bit embarrassed for calling her a dentist without knowing exactly what her expertise or field was.

Dr. Sharpe: blushing a little – “You are very kind Lena. But don’t worry, dentistry specialties are not commonly known. But let’s get back to the most pressing matter at hand” – the woman switches back to her professional persona and imposing presence. “Y/N I need to ask you a few questions, I’m going to hold your hand and please press my hand once for YES and twice for NO, we are going to let the muscles in your mouth rest for a bit. Are you comfortable doing this? – you press her hand once to let her know you are okay with it.

Alex- laughs a little and there’s a smirk on her face – “Oh wow, that’s a great and polite way tell someone to shut it, good one doc. I wish I had used that one sooner on this one” -Alex points at you while Kara and Lena give Alex a disapproval look while you look at the doctor with teary eyes.

Kara: “Alex! don’t mock y/n. she feels bad enough and you are not helping”

Lena: “don’t be mean Alex”

You know its all good and there’s not bite behind the words. You just feel bad because you just remembered why you end up in your current predicament. By being stubborn and a brat. You feel bad for worrying your sisters and Lena and all you want to do is to apologize. But you can’t, because you were told not to speak which makes you tear up in frustration at not being able to communicate properly.

But Alex being the wonderful sister she is, she knows without you being able to say anything she just looks at your eyes and just knows what’s wrong.

Alex: “Kara come on, you know I’m just joking. I could never be mean to her. she is not crying because of that tough.” – Alex comes to sit next to you and holds your other hand – “ y/n don’t cry, I know okay? I know you are sorry, and I know you are just frustrated for not being able to speak at the moment. Please sweetie no, please don’t cry. Just listen to the doctor and we will speak later okay? – you nod at her and she tenderly brushes a few stray tears from your face. She stands to let the doctor continue with her examination.

Meanwhile Doctor Sharpe is looking at the interaction between the women and she smiles at the warm and caring dynamic among you all. She is quite intrigue about how soft Lena is with them and more importantly she was becoming quite smitten by you, you had that power over people. You didn’t have to do much, you y/n Danvers had something that automatically draws people in and your eyes are so expressive and innocent that the good doctor can’t fight the urge to look at them and feel something she wasn’t expecting nor she had felt in a very very long time. She is taken out of her reverie when she hears Alex mentioning the examination she was supposed to be doing right about now.

Dr. Sharpe: “Riiight, yes sorry. Ok so here we go. From what I was told by Lena and your sisters the pain your experienced was bad enough to knock you out. y/n while you were unconscious, I injected you with a very strong pain medication. You should not be able to have much sensation inside your mouth, but let me ask and without traying to move or prod with your tongue, do you feel any sort of pain in your mouth?

You take a moment to take inventory of your current condition and you cannot feel any sort of pain in your mouth nor anything similar to the pain you felt by stumping your foot during your temper tantrum thrown at your big sister. You press her hand twice, saying NO, you don’t feel pain.

Dr. Sharpe: “Good, that’s good. You will experience lack of sensation for a couple of hours. Like I said it’s a strong pain reliever with a numbing agent, I gave you the best drugs available” – she winks at you. “But once that wears off you will feel very uncomfortable for at least the next 48 hours. Basically, strenuous activity can cause pressure to build up and complicate things like heavy bleeding and rupture of your stiches and of course can be extremely painful. Which unfortunately was your case. Because you haven’t developed the blood clot inside the tooth cavity, you are not suffering from what Is called dry socket, and that is not fun let me tell. It’s quite painful.”

Your eyes were comically wide in both surprise and fear.

Dr. Sharpe: “ Ok let me explain that better. Nothing to be scare about. Think about it like a lake. Yes, like a lake or a pond. After a tooth extraction, blood fills the site where the tooth was. Blood is what allows the body to heal. Just like a lake needs to be filled with water, a tooth extraction needs blood to heal. What happens during a dry socket is that the blood washes away and the site dries out too soon. When the blood clot is lost, the site lacks the blood cells and nutrients needed for healing. A dry socket is like a lake in a drought. The lake has dried up.”

You like her voice and how soothing it is. Even tough what she is saying sounds painful and scary. Your sisters and Lena are paying rapt attention to what the blonde doctor is saying.

Dr. Sharpe: “Ok so in your case you were lucky it was just the stitches, but painful, nonetheless. Dry sockets are a very common complication and can cause the healing time to extend. You did cause damage to the tissue surrounding the incision and I was not able to use stitches to close the gap without risking nerve damage. I use aviente, that is a microfibrillar collagen to help you absorb the blood to reduce the bleeding and accelerate the clot formation. I know this is a lot of information and maybe you can feel a little out of sorts due to the pain medication, but I like to explain everything to my patients.”

You could listen to her voice for hours and being explain anything she wanted to you because you liked her voice very much. You were also sporting a goofy smile towards the blue-eyed doctor while your sisters and Lena took into everything the doctor was saying.

The doctor gave you a warm smile and explained more about your condition to your sisters and Lena, making them feel much calmer now that you were okay and being tended by a very competent specialist. After the incident with your childish tantrum you learnt that Alex was about to leave to get your meds when Lena remembered her friend being back in town and she was an expert in all things dental according to Kara’s explanation. She called Cassandra Sharpe right away and her friend was able to drop everything to help her and be there for you because she knew Lena Luthor would never just call and ask for a favor in such urgent way and that only meant that you were someone very important and dear to Lena. You may be high as a kite right now and drooling like a fool, for obvious reasons, now but you certainly weren’t blind to appreciate how beautiful Cassandra Sharpe truly was. You were taken out of your daydreaming once again by the voice you could become addicted very soon.

Dr. Sharpe: “You need to be very careful Y/N, the next 8 to 12 days you need to follow the indications to a T. No hard or crunchy food, no smoking, no alcohol, no caffeine and avoid excessively greasy foods those can irritate and create infections in the tooth cavity. I noticed the drinking bottles Lena got you, those are great, please don’t let her use any kind of straws or bottles that requires suction those are a very hard no, they can easily dislodge the blood clot and that is what we are trying to prevent from happening at all cost. From what I can tell your pain tolerance is almost nonexistent and that would only create a horrible painful experience for you. Taking into consideration what I read and heard from Alex about your medical history, you can have complications due to the poor capacity for your blood to clot. The aid I use is designed to help create the clot but that takes time and you will have literally two open blood oozing wounds inside your mouth. I’m leaving a list and indications of everything you need to know, I’m getting you guys my direct line so if you have any questions or concerns you can call me right away or Lena can get ahold of me. But in the case, she is busy you can easily reach out to me. Y/N You can’t do any kind of exercise, heavy lifting, no strenuous activities even too much walking can be harmful. Try to relax and chill on the couch or your bed for the next 48 hours”

You knew your helicopter sisters and super protective Lena wouldn’t let you lift a finger in the near future. You sighed and nodded to the whole speech. You honestly felt like crap for putting your loved ones in this position, just for being stubborn and you were is no rush to be in that kind of pain again, you were going to avoid it at all cost. Besides you liked to see the bright side of things and meeting the gorgeous blonde doctor was something bright alright. Something about her was drawing you like a mot to a flame.

Alex, Kara and Lena were taking on everything Dr. Sharpe was saying like their lives depended on the words being spoken by the blonde woman.

Alex: “We will make sure she follows all your indications, and if I have any questions, I will call you right away. Thank you so much for all your help Doctor Sharpe, I cannot express how thankful we all are you were able to make a house call at such hour and leave all the important activities you probably had to put on hold”

Dr. Sharpe: “nonsenses, what are friend for right? I mean I love Lena like a sister, and she is one of my closest friends. I’ve heard a lot of stories about the wonderful Danvers sisters and I wish we could have met under better circumstances. But work and life kept me from National City and my favorite Luthor over here” She looks to where Lena standing close to Kara and gives her a very honest and tender smile. “I recently moved to National City looking for a less hectic and strenuous life, I love my job and being able to help and learn more about my field of expertise. But you know, there’s a time in your life where you need to stop and think of what you really want and need. I’m not in my 20s anymore and I needed a change. The need to settle down and have more time for me. I also missed Lee so very much, she’s been my family for a very long time, and it’s been years since we could be together in the same city for more than 2 days at the time. I just missed this amazing woman so much I just knew that if I wanted a fresh start and a place to call home it had to be wherever this amazing soul named Lena Luthor would be”

Lena started to tear up at the heartfelt words coming from the doctor, and you could sense Dr. Sharpe was a force to be reckon with and she was definitely someone very special and that she loved Lena fiercely. Wish only increased your need to know more about the blonde woman.

Lena: “Cassie why are you always trying to make me cry you beautiful idiot amazing woman. I have a reputation to uphold you know?” Lena teased and came to where the blonde woman was sitting at the coffee table in front of you and Kara. She gave the blonde a hug and whispered something in her ear that you couldn’t catch. But you saw Dr. Sharpe tear up a bit and nod against Lena’s shoulder. Suddenly you wanted to move Lena away and hold the blonde blue- eyed woman yourself. Ooookay possessive much? Damn those pain meds are really doing a number on you, what the hell? You mentally asked yourself while trying to sit up a bit since you been in a weird angle for a long time on top of Kara. You could swear you heard the words ´I love you too´ being whispered back from the blonde to Lena. You frowned.

This made the women turn in your direction, Kara helped you to sit with your back to her front while Alex kept looking at the exchange between Lena and the doctor and then at you with a smirk on her face.

Dr. Sharpe: “Okay well I guess that was a lot coming from someone you just met” she gives a nervous laugh while discretely removing a tear from her eye and continue with your examination. “And after that mushy festival, I would like to ask you y/n to really take it easy. Drink a lot of fluids and try to eat the food I listed in the sheet I gave your sisters. I will email you a more detailed list so you can have it at hand. I know it sucks no being able to eat many things but trust me y/s, I made sure to list a very good and delicious options, I swear to God and all the deities in heaven that I don’t eat rabbit food like Lena. I actually love food and I always try to make things easy for my patients. I mean they are already in pain and miserable so why make them suffer even more? I don’t like to see any of my patients in pain, that’s one of my main goals, that and to help them have a fast recovery period so they can go back to their normal lives in no time”

Kara: “wow you are a very impressive and dedicated doctor. Thank Rao Lena only has eyes for me, and we trust each other very much otherwise I would feel very intimated by you Doctor Sharpe.” Kara joked and laughs when Lena tries to slap Kara’s arm while still sporting a beaming smile at her girlfriend antics and having all her favorite ladies in the same room.

Dr. Sharpe: “Rao? As in the mythological Indian king?” – asked the blonde quite intrigued.

Everyone froze at that and Kara just giggled and said- “it’s just an expression from where I’m from but anyhoooow…what’s the verdict doctor?” – trying to change the course of the talk back to y/n.

Dr. Sharpe: “Oh, I see. That’s cool. Well Miss Y/N here needs complete and total rest for at least the next 48 hours. I would like to check on your incisions tomorrow just to make sure there’s no sign of nerve damage nor infection. And to try to gauge your pain tolerance while being out of the hard stuff and make sure you get the best option in time and avoid you experiencing any unnecessary pain. The first couple of days are the tricky ones. Reason why if you all are comfortable with, I would like to be your primary dental specialist, I’m not trying to impose or say that your current doctor is inadequate. The surgery was done perfectly. However, my concern comes from the post op care indications and the pain meds you were prescribed. Due to your medical history, the level of pain you experience today was very extreme, you doctor should have been aware of certain details to avoid searing pain based on your records. I’m sure he or she is a very competent doctor, however there are cases where the patient needs a more specialized professional, not to brag, but I am one of those professionals”. – she jokes while pointing a finger to herself.

Dr. Sharpe: “Besides any friends of Lena are friends of mine and I would hate for such a lovely girl like y/n to suffer unnecessary pain if avoidable” - her smile is kind and sincere.

You smile at the goofy doctor while being in awe of the amazing woman she is.

Lena: “Honestly Cassie you are so very humble I’m amazed you head still within the same space of your body and not floating around the streets ” – she says sarcastically with no bite behind her words, just friendly banter among close friends. “In all seriousness thank you so much for everything, I wanted to referred y/n to you as her first option, but you were so busy with the move and seminars that I never thought of asking. And her current doctor is an amazing professional as well, just not as immerse as you are in the studies of nerve damage caused by maxillofacial surgery. Nor the involvement in recent studies of sensory intervention to the face, and the you are pretty much involved in all the branches in mandibular nerve injuries”

Alex: “Absolutely, you seem to know more about what y/n needs right now and we would love for you to continue as her primary periodontist. And we have complete faith in what Lena says, to impress Lena Luthor is not an easy thing to accomplish and she speaks very highly of you. And like you said, a friend of Lena is a friend of ours as well”

Dr. Sharpe: “Perfect, that’s settles it then” – the blonde woman gives a brilliant smile to the women in front of her.

The Danvers sisters were beyond impress, if you could actually move your jaw, it would probably be hanging low near the floor at the amount of words coming out of Lena because, you were smart but that sounds like doctor Sharpe was some sort eminence in dental care. Can this woman be any more perfect?

Lena seems to be super proud of her friend and the way she talks about her work, you know Lena is beyond intelligent and crazy smart, but her friend is looking like a masterpiece created by the Gods themselves. Yes, the drugs she gave you are doing a number on you indeed.

The blonde doctor turns bright red at the words Lena just said and you think is the most wonderful thing to witness. You are in so much trouble.

You began to feel like all energy was leaving your body, you wanted to keep listening to Dr. Sharpe speak but you felt a heaviness take over your body and you still had something odd inside your mouth and all you wanted at the moment was to sleep. You tried to find a better spot within your sister arms and you brought a fist to your eye a clear sign that you were sleepy and about to get fussy.

Kara: “Someone is getting fussy over here. Dr. Sharpe are you all done, or you need her awake for a bit longer?” -Kara asked while traying to cradle you in a way you felt more comfortable.

Dr. Sharpe: “Oh my, I’m so sorry we kept talking and time got away from us. Yes, just hold her head like before and I will remove the mouth peace and apply the antiseptic and anesthetic gel really quick”

Doctor Sharpe was very quick to clean her hands and put on a new pair of latex gloves and very gently you felt your mouth being held again by those soft hands, and nimble fingers remove something spongy feeling that was placed inside your mouth. Then you saw when she grabbed something from a bag you haven’t noticed before and continue to properly finish wherever she was doing at the moment, finally you felt a sort of cold liquid and that was it.

Dr. Sharpe: “Ok all done. Sorry I got distracted for a moment. But you are all set y/n. You can now try to talk if you want but avoid making too much facial movements or prod the gaps with your tongue. I know is tempting, because you may feel a funny sensation around the tissue or just of out curiosity, please don’t do it. Rinse the extraction site with warm salt water 2 times a day for 1 week beginning tomorrow afternoon. Don’t let her take any of the medications on an empty stomach. If for any reason you experience discomfort or any problems, do not hesitate to call Okay?”

Y/N: “Thank you” – you replied very quietly and with a timid voice. Your sisters and Lena found that odd as you are always a ball of sunshine and not really shy. But then you had to do it, because of course you would…

Y/N: “So that means no corn dogs, right?”- you sheepishly asked.

Dr. Sharpe laughs a little – “No, sorry honey. You can’t eat those right now”

Kara and Lena just hide their smirks at the cheeky comment and Alex being the more mature of you all just gives you a look and you know you need to stop right now.

Alex: “Very well, you heard that y/n? no corn dogs and stick to what Dr. Sharpe is saying. You don’t want to be in pain and you will have tasty food options. So, shush you menace”

You sigh in relief that your sister is not really mad, and you honestly don’t want to prolong the time you need for recovery by doing something stupid, again.

Kara: “Okaay on that note, I’m taking this one to her room and tuck her in. Dr. Sharpe you should totally come to our games night, there’s wine, beer, food lots and lots of food and obviously games. We’re not sure when the next one will be though, until y/n right here feels better that’s for sure. But again, thank so much for all you’ve done tonight”

Alex: “Yes, I’ll be there in a moment, I will stay with her tonight. She tends to move in her sleep, like A LOT and I don’t want her hitting her face or putting to much pressure on her cheeks by lying on her side or stomach. If she is being held, she stays still”

Y/N: “No I don’t, Alex don’t say that” – you’re mortified by what your sister just said in front of the hot doctor and you want to hide your embarrassment.

Kara just snorts and Lena shakes her head. However, the blonde doctor seems to be pretty amused by that statement and looks at you with something you can’t quite decipher, she doesn’t look disgusted or mad. Her eyes seem to shine even brighter at that, and a smile so warm directed at you that you feel butterflies in your stomach. You are in so much trouble.

Dr. Sharpe: “You are just the cutest y/n. I think I’m going to have a blast getting to know you all now that I’m in National City. Now Alex, I think that’s a wise choice. An ice pack should be applied to the face as soon as possible, hold it for 20 minutes and then removed it for 20 more. Do it for a few hours, it will help minimize swelling”

Alex: “Of course, we have several ice packs ready. Thank you again for everything and it sure is a pleasure to meet you Doctor Sharpe I hope you can come to our game night; they are pretty fun and stress relivers. You can text us what time is best for y/n check up tomorrow or if you think it’s better for us to take her to your office…”

Dr. Sharpe: “Please, call me Cassandra Dr. Sharpe is way to formal and I would love to join you, just let me know what I need to bring and the time and date. About tomorrow, just call me whenever y/n is awake, and I can come to check on her pain level and make sure the clots are forming. It’s better for her to stay home so I think it’s easier for me to just stop by.”

Lena was looking at the exchange with curiosity, she seems to notice how her doctor friend was being towards y/n, she knew her well and her eyes never sparkle like that. At least not just at anyone and she hasn’t seen that look in a very long time. It was a good luck on her, however Lena was very protective of y/n, so she was going to have a nice long chat with her doctor friend very soon.

y/n was fading fast, so Kara just said a quick goodbye to the blonde doctor and walk out of the room with y/n in her arms while saying something about lunch or food. You weren’t quite sure.

Y/N: “Byeeeee doctor pretty eyes” – you said with a goofy smile and obviously losing all sense of shame and inhibition the sleepier you got. You gave a cute wave and you let yourself being carried away to your room.

The blonde doctor just gave you a big smile and waved back at you.

Dr. Sharpe: “See you tomorrow cutie, sleep tight”

Yes, things were about to get very interesting soon.

Next Part 4: dry sockets...

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Note: I don't know how or when it happened. The story took a twist without me actually knowing. somehow while thinking about this 3rd part i just kept seeing these scenes playing on my mind and my fingers just kept typing. I just realized how much i written and i was shocked to see it was at least twice the amount of words from the two previous parts. Let me know what you think, I never imagined this story to become so long. But bear with me, this is the first time I have written anything like this and i guess i still need to control my thoughts. Still i kept the same idea of baby Danvers being her silly cute and adorable self while being taken care and dot over her sisters and Lena. I just added something extra that I hope you'd enjoy. Please let me know what you think. I made this fluffier to compensate from the angst on Part 2, However don't think the pain is over (I laugh evilly and I slowly walk away)

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#baby danvers #baby!danvers #alex x baby danvers #origial character #supercorp #supergirl #lena luthor imagine #lena x reader #lena x supergirl #lena luthor #kara x reader #kara danvers imagine #kara danvers #alex danvers #fanfic

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blaines-hayes · 4 years

Text

Stay. [Ethan Ramsey x MC]

Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x MC

Rating: General/ For All Audiences

Words: 3.7K

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Summary: MC is leaving Edenbrook after receiving an offer of a fellowship in Seattle. She's hoping for a goodbye from Ethan who grew distant after hearing the news.

[1st person POV.]

"This is really it then," Sienna says.

Her voice draws me out of my thoughts, her small frame is leaning against the doorframe of my bedroom. I bring myself to laugh, but the tears welling up in her eyes serve to remind me of the sadness of this day. Aurora stands besides her, her expression is unreadable, but over the years I have distinguished the expressions enough to know she is hiding her own sadness.

"I guess so," I say. My fingers pull up the last zipper, sealing my last suitcase shut.

My years as a resident at Edenbrook are over. Not too long ago I was offered a fellowship where I would continue my training under some of the best doctors in the world. Away from Boston and everyone I have come to hold dear... away from my friends. Away from Ethan.

"Has he come to say goodbye?" Aurora asks, her tone is soft and careful. As if she is afraid of upsetting me by mentioning him. There's a hidden layer behind her words, a subtle implication. An insinuation that there was something more, that she has known about it for a while.

Her question shocks me. Whatever my relationship with Ethan has been, we have always tried to keep it discrete. Friendly. Careful not to raise any suspicion, but Aurora is smart. She has always been observant, a quality of hers that is often forgotten and overlooked.

"You knew?!" I ask. My eyes scan her face, for resentment or just some sign that she will discredit all my work as the hospital, but there is nothing other than a sheepish smile that follows her confession.

"Sienna and I had been speculating about your relationship for a while. There were days where you would get back from the Diagnostics team meetings all flustered and then there were days where you would come back annoyed at something you wouldn't want to discuss," She says, shrugging as if anyone would have noticed.

"It didn't take too much to connect it to Ethan, when we would see Dr. Mirani and Dr. Hirata at Donahue's when you would stay and work late," Sienna adds, a smile on her face.

"Don't even get us started on the longing looks he threw at you when you weren't looking. Or the lingering touches when your hand would accidentally brush against his and-- yeah you two were definitely not subtle," Aurora laughs.

I can't help but join in. Some pressure of having to have had keep our relationship a secret seems to lift from my shoulders. Even though I am on my way out, and there was no need for secrecy anymore, I didn't find it necessary to mention our history. With Ethan in Boston and me in Seattle... the distance would never work. He could never leave Edenbrook, and I cannot pause my career when I'm only just getting started.

“When did it start?” Sienna asks giddily. Aurora rolls her eyes, but I her focus as interest.

“A couple of years ago. We both wanted to see who we were outside of the hospital. He’s met my parents. I’ve met his dad. It was--”

“Pretty serious. Wow. Years,” Aurora finishes. She thinks it over, seemingly replaying different encounters in her head, and nods, satisfied.

"...He hasn't said anything," I admit, referring back to their original question. "When I told him about the fellowship, he congratulated me and wished me the best. We didn't speak much after. He hasn't reached out, and I haven't been able to reach him. I don't think he's coming."

Aurora smiles sadly at me, "I don't know the full depths of your relationship. But it's obvious you two mean a lot to each other. He'll be here."

"You think so?" I ask.

"If there's one thing Ethan Ramsey cares about more than medicine, it's you. Maybe more. Probably more. I don't know what goes on in that man's head really. But I'm almost certain he would rather suffer than ever be the reason for your disappointment," Sienna replies. She pauses for a moment, and then her eyes light up as if remembering something. "Oh! The guest are here for your goodbye party! We were coming to get you. You're all set for the airport after right?"

I take a quick glance around my room, now bare, the few boxes left are going to be taken to a donation center sometime tomorrow by Elijah. There's a small pang in my chest, but I manage to shove it aside and plaster on a smile.

I find myself wondering about Edenbrook, about how different things would have been if they offered me a fellowship. Would I have chosen to stay? Would I still choose Seattle? Then the most obvious question surfaces, why didn't Edenbrook offer me a fellowship? Did they not think I was good enough? Did being on the Diagnostics team mean nothing?

"Yeah, I'm all set. You're still okay with driving me right?"

"Yup," Sienna says. "Now let's party like I won't see you tomorrow because I won't and... oh no, now I'm sad."

We laugh and move to greet everyone who is gathered in the living room. With no sight of Ethan, my party-ing mood deflates.

Hours pass, and Ethan never shows up. Soon enough, its midnight and the car is pulling up into the airport. Sienna, Jackie, and Aurora follow me to the entrance of the building. They begin to apologize for Ethan's absence.

"It's okay. He probably got caught up with work or--"

"It's not okay," Jackie interjects. "You don't have to make excuses for him. He didn't show up and he didn't so much as talk to you during your last few weeks. All he did was make appointments with the Chief and HR. He avoided you like the plague and now he doesn't even have the decency to say goodbye to you."

"Jackie--" Sienna starts, but Jackie cuts her short.

"What? Did I lie? I'm sorry, but it's the truth. He could at least said goodbye or tell you why Edenbrook didn't offer you a fellowship. It's not like he couldn't have asked Banerji about it."

Jackie goes to say more, but whatever look is on my face stops her. Her faces scrunches and she appears regretful. Her tone drops in its sharpness and she sounds genuine when she says, "I really am sorry."

The lack of an offer for fellowship at Edenbrook is a sore spot, and she knows I haven't wanted to talk about it.

"It's okay," I offer, but my voice isn't very convincing. They're kind enough to ignore it.

When it is clear that we have been delaying the inevitable, it Aurora who steps up first. Her hands wrap around me and I quickly reciprocate it.

"You're an amazing Doctor," Aurora says. "I wish you nothing but the very best with your career. Thank you for constantly encouraging me."

Don't cry, don't cry.

"Thank you Aurora," I say smiling. "You better believe I'm going to follow your career. I hope you invite me to the award ceremonies that you'll undoubtedly be nominated for."

When we pull apart, there is a shadow of a smile in her face, and she goes back into the car.

"I'm not one for tears," Jackie says, stepping up and pulling me into a quick hug. "Edenbrook is going to be ridiculously boring without you causing trouble."

"Believe me when I say not to count Bryce out just yet."

When it's just Sienna and I, I finally succumb to my emotions, encouraged by her own tears.

"Sienna! No fair, my eyes are going to be puffy and you promised me you wouldn't cry!"

"I can't help it," Sienna sobs. "You're my friend. My best friend!"

"Seattle isn't crazy far from California! I'll visit you every chance I get. You're gonna love it there."

"Oh god, I should let someone else drive," Sienna laughs, wiping her tears with her sleeve.

I laugh, "I think that would be best."

I pull her into a tight hug, thank her for being the best friend I could ever ask for. When we pull apart, we take a few minutes to compose ourselves before she speaks.

"I really am sorry about Ethan. I really did think he would show up."

I shrug, attempting to act indifferent. "Ethan isn't very good at goodbyes."

I think of his mother, and her sudden abandonment. I wonder if he thinks I am betraying him. I push the thought out of my mind. There's no way. Ethan, the man that only ever pushed me to be the best and supported me throughout my time in Edenbrook, who kept things professional for so long because he was aware of the mistreatment of women in any field, especially medical. There's no way that that Ethan Ramsey, my Ethan Ramsey, would be anything other than proud.

"Neither are we apparently," Sienna says, but the second the words leave her lips, a sorry expression appears. Suddenly, hearing the layers behind her words. The hidden meaning of not being good at goodbyes meaning you can't do a goodbye.

I pull her into one last hug before she was start issuing a series of apologies. I promise her that I'll call her when I land and swear I am okay, and finally head into the check-in station.

[3rd person POV.]

"Stop crying Sienna," Jackie says, clearly exasperated. Her hands rub small circles into the smaller woman's back.

"They probably haven't even boarded," Aurora appears suddenly. She had gone to find a place to park the car after Sienna refused to get in. "You could probably catch them and fly out with--"

The sounds of footsteps rushing across the pavement, of people shouting irritated "watch its", sounds of shoved groans and of loud apologies, draws the women's attention. They cannot make out what's happening, but a large figure is rushing towards them at a dangerous speed, too fast for them to move away.

"Varma, Trinh, Emery!" A strangely familiar voice shouts out to them.

"Were we expecting anyone?" Jackie mumbles to the ladies, too entranced by the scene that is unfolding to look away.

Aurora replied with a three beat hum that sounds like the words "i don't know" .

"Wait! We know him!" Sienna shouts suddenly, jumping up and rushing to meet him half way.

Their theatrics have gathered the attention of some onlookers now, the expressions vary from confused, annoyed, and excited.

"Dr. Ramsey?" Aurora calls out shocked, as his face comes closer into view.

"Oh my God," Jackie says, sounding suddenly very amused. They two women step forward until they reach them.

Sienna who reached him just as he bent over for air, pats his back as an attempt to help as Ethan Ramsey collects himself.

"Where...is...?" He asks through heavy pants. "Did I...miss...?"

The women stare at him, both confused and amused.

"We got here not to long ago..." Jackie says. "Maybe around fifteen minutes give or take?"

Sienna who suddenly seems very alert, "We don't think the plane has boarded yet. You could probably still catch---"

But Ethan Ramsey has already taken off leaving nothing but a cold rush of air in his place.

"...Never would have expected Ethan Ramsey to be so theatrical," Jackie laughs, watching his running figure speed off.

"God, nobody is ever going to believe us," Aurora says, joining in on the laughter.

"I think it's romantic," Sienna says, sighing happily. "Anyway. I'm okay. We can go now."

[1st person POV.]

"...And now I'm moving to Seattle for a fellowship."

The man in front of me in line grunts in response.

"But your man? He didn't say goodbye?" He asks, shaking his head disapprovingly.

I sigh dramatically, "Why does everybody like to focus on that part?"

"You 'oughta stop telling it like a tale of romance then," he shrugs. "Makes the story less about the relationship when you don't end it and start it with that fancy doctor you're leaving behind."

I nod, playfully understanding. "I'm a fancy doctor too, you know. But anyway, you're right. I'll do better next time."

He does a sort of chuckle and disappears into the terminal leading into the plane.

"Next."

I greet the attendant politely and hand over my passport, ticket and any other piece of paper she needs to let me on board.

"I think it's messed up that he didn't say goodbye. He should have at least said goodbye," a woman's voice says from behind me.

I turn to her and laugh, "He's not too bad--"

"Sir! There is no running in the--"

The sound of crashing draws my attention to the scene. Where a man has just accidentally tripped over and dropped the black stanchion rope, that was separating crowds into neat lines.

"I am so sorry! I just have to find and stop the person I'm in love with from getting on--"

"Ethan?!" I hear my voice call out, my feet seem to take off without me.

"I'd bet that the doctor she was mentioning," the woman from the line says, confidently.

Ethan looks up sheepishly when I reach him. "Hi," he says, his cheeks turning pink.

"Hey," I say. I can't help the smile that appears on my face. "You take a wrong turn somewhere?" I ask, amused.

He laughs, and takes my hands that reach out to help him up.

When he stands, his eyes settle on mine, and he sighs like he can relax now that he has found me. His hand comes up, and his thumb caresses my cheek.

Behind me I hear the man who I was initially speaking to, having probably come out with a flight attendant to see what the hold up was, say, "Well with his looks, I would've been without a goodbye either."

"Thanks, Gregg," I jokingly call out to him, not bothering to look back at him. He responds with an approving grunt.

"You've been talking about me?" Ethan asks, his eyebrows raise playfully.

"All good things," I hum. His eyes focus on me so intently, I'm worried he believes I will disappear if he looks away.

"We formed our own opinion!" The woman from the line calls out, earning a few laughs from the crowd.

"I should probably explain," Ethan says, not bothering to look away from me. The intense longing in his eyes makes my chest warm.

"Yeah," I say, "Yes. You probably should."

But the energy drawing us together is too strong and soon his lip crash onto mine, both his hands come up to cup my face, and I melt against him to the sound of cheering and whistles. When we pull apart, I become all too aware of our gathered spectators and press my face against his chest, in attempt to hide my growing blush.

Ethan offers up a meek apology to the crowd, who merely laugh and applaud. Gregg shouts out to thank us for the show.

A couple moments pass, and we look for a quiet part of the loud and busy airport where we can talk. We land at the sleeping pods area and settle in together.

"You didn't say goodbye," I say. His arms are wrapped around me and my cheek is pressed to chest.

"I know," Ethan says softly. His hand is rubbing soothingly up and down my back.

I lift myself off of his chest to look up at him, "That's all?"

"No, no. That isn't all," He says quickly, propping himself up. "I was figuring things out. You and I, we-- I always kept you at a professional distance because I didn't want anybody to look at you and link all your hard work back to me. I didn't want anyone to discredit your accomplishments and say that you only succeeded because I had a hand in your career. I didn't. Everything you have accomplished, that was all you. You're-- you're brilliant. You know that.

"It was you who put in all the work. It was all you. You worked so hard, you're passionate and smart. So I was confused when Banerji didn't offer you a fellowship at Edenbrook. I set up meetings with him to ask, he was too busy to ever meet with me at the hospital so I finally showed up to his house. When I mentioned it he was confused and he said that he had made you an offer," Ethan says looking up at me expectantly.

I am perplexed, nobody had ever responded to my fellowship application and certainly nobody had met me in person to discuss it.

"Nobody ever offered me anything?"

"That's what I told him. He promised me he would look into it and days later he realized there had been an issue. You were far too qualified to be a fellow, so he never intended to recruit you as such. But you had already accepted the fellowship in Seattle, taking the hospital silence as an answer. Long story short those he had he put in charge of offering you the position made the mistake of marking you out as an unavailable candidate. Banerji was incredibly mad when he found out. He wanted to apologize personally, but I told him you were leaving today and that you had to know before you left. Edenbrook is your home, and you have a position there. If you want it, of course. I know that you are very excited about Seattle, but you deserve all your option on the table."

I can't do anything but stare at him. It takes me some time to process the information. Edenbrook was offering a position. They always intended to offer me a position. But what had Ethan said? Not a fellow? What could I possibly be if not a fellow?

"Ethan? You said I was too qualified as a fellow so what position is Edenbrook offering me?" My voice is soft, afraid that if I speak to loudly I will scare the news away. That I will wake up in Seattle and this was all a dream.

He smiles brightly at the question, and his eyes shine with pride. "They're offering you an Attending position."

My pulse quicken, "You're joking. Tell me you're not joking."

An Attending position? That's the second highest position in a hospital, not including Chief of the whole hospital. There's Chief of hospital, Chief of individual section such as Chief or cardio, trauma, or general surgery, and then there are Attendings. Attending are in charge of Residents and Interns, and at Edenbrook I will become a teacher to interns who positions I was once in.

Ethan laughs, "When have you ever known me to joke?"

I laugh, and in a swift motion press my lips to his. His response is immediate. His hands wrap around my waist and his lip part, granting me entrance. My fingers run through his hair, and everything seems in place. Like this is the last piece of our now complete puzzle.

"Wait," I say, finally pulling apart to breathe. "This position is great. I know it is. And if I stay I would be staying for me, for my career. But..."

"But?" Ethan presses, running his hand down my cheek.

"But there's you."

He looks confused. "Yes, there's me."

"There's you. There's me. There's an us, Ethan. We would be working together and still on the Diagnostic team which you're the Director of. You're still my boss, and relationships like those, like ours still aren't allowed."

Ethan fishes something out of his coat pocket, a folded piece of paper that he hands me.

"About that," He begins, watching as I unfold and smooth down the paper. "I also set up some meetings with HR."

My eyes scan the words on the paper, and I look up at him confused.

Ethan smiles, "It's um, a Declaration of Love."

"A Declaration of Love?"

"Yes, the paper itself is simple. Really it's just a safety precaution for HR that the hospital won't be liable for any possible lawsuits. But the idea of it, what it would mean for us..."

"I could kiss you in the hallways," I reply, staring at the paper entranced. "You could hold my hand when we get off shifts and we can go home together..."

Ethan's eyes are soft when I look back up at him, "Yes, yeah all that," He smiles. "And you could also wear this."

My eyes focus on it for the first time. I was so focused on the piece of paper that would free us from all our secrecy that I hadn't even noticed him pull it out. The velvet box is open and displaying a beautiful ring.

Ethan moves down on to his knee, and I am frozen in place.

"I love you. I don't really know how you managed to do it, but you snuck somewhere inside me and buried yourself deep. And all I have ever wanted to do ever since, is keep you there. Warm and happy. I love you. You have helped me in way that I never thought a person could help me. You are the most supportive and brilliant person I have ever met. I love you. You're passionate about your work and patients, you have a drive that has the power to push anyone to be better. You love your work and you love it for the right reasons. You're driven and smart, your career is going to drive you so far and no matter where you choose to go, because it is your decision-- I'd follow you anywhere. We'd figure it out, I would just be happy enough if you let me go along for the ride. I will love you high and far, and I will keep loving you no matter how many pop culture references you make that I will never understand. I love you, so if you'll have me... will you please marry me?"

The tears are hot on my cheeks and I no longer trust my voice enough to speak. All I can do is nod my head yes, throw myself into him and disappear into him as our lips meet.

I realize now that no matter where I am, a piece of me will always be here in Boston, in Edenbrook with him. So when we pull apart and he slips the ring onto my finger, it feels right. This is where I must be, for my career undoubtedly, but also for him.

Suddenly, I find myself laughing, at Ethan confused and amused smile, I decide to let him in on the joke.

"I missed my flight and sent everything I own to Seattle."

#ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey fic #ethan ramsey x mc #open heart fic #open heart

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anulik289-blog · 5 years

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Psych Essay

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

The movie I never Promised You A Rose Garden features a young girl named Deborah. Deborah is a severely ill schizophrenic patient who gets hospitalized after attempting to commit suicide. Though her parents struggle to get her committed, they eventually give in and let her be hospitalized. Throughout the movie, Deborah has different encounters with a couple of mental health professionals. Some are ethical and kind and others not so much. In the end, Deborah gets well and is given permission to leave and live her life properly healed. Though the movie does an overall excellent and accurate job at portraying the symptoms and life of a schizophrenic patient, it may be misleading in some aspects and promote stigma about mental health professionals and hospitals.

Schizophrenia Signs and Symptoms

Schizophrenia is a chronic mental illness that is described by interruptions in thought, judgment, and behavior. Some of its criteria, according to the DSM 5, include: “hallucinations, delusions, disorganized speech, grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior, and negative symptoms such as diminished emotional expression”. Two or more of the following symptoms must be going on for at least one month for a person to be diagnosed with schizophrenia. Also, other illnesses, such as schizoaffective disorder, must be ruled out beforehand.

Some other symptoms may include: “inappropriate effect, disturbed sleep pattern, dysphoric mood, anxiety, and phobias, depersonalization, derealization, cognitive deficits impacting language, processing, executive function, and memory, lack of insight to disorder, social cognition deficits, and hostility and aggression”. Due to these symptoms, many people who suffer from the illness have problems in the work field, personal relationships, and personal self-care.

There are many examples in the movie that portray Deborah with the symptoms. One of the examples is Deborah’s made up cult and world. She hears and sees a whole entire life in her brain. Her cult leader does not allow her to open up to her therapist. Another example is Deborah’s many attempted suicides. She has lost the line between reality and what is made up. She is constantly trying to take her own life and does not engage in personal self-care.

Deborah is portrayed with most, if not all, the symptoms stated in the DSM 5. Her quality of life is diminished at first. Though she goes through many struggles, with the help of her therapist, she gets well and is able to lead a normal life. The movie does a good job of portraying correct information about symptoms and signs of schizophrenia to the public.

Schizophrenia and Childhood Trauma

To understand what some of the causes of schizophrenia can be, researchers at the University have found that children who face severe trauma are three times more likely to suffer from schizophrenia in their adulthood. For many years, psychology has denied the idea of psychosis being an effect of trauma; however, newer studies and methods have provided strong proof of childhood experiences causing different forms of psychosis in people’s adult lives. The research, conducted by teams at Liverpool and Maastricht University in the Netherlands, conducted 3 separate studies to understand the issue. The researchers pulled their studies from 27,000 well-conducted papers. The results of all three studies suggested: children who had experienced trauma before the age of 16 were three times more likely to become psychotic in adulthood compared to those selected randomly from the population. Researchers suggested the link between trauma and developing of a disorder. Those that were highly traumatized during childhood were at a greater risk than those who faced traumatic events to a lesser extent.

In the movie, once Deborah begins to open up to her therapist, she begins to tell her about some of her childhood experiences. She tells her about the time she was taken to the hospital at age 5. Deborah had a tumor which needed to be surgically removed. At the hospital, the doctors lied to her and said she was going to candy land. Deborah resented the doctors for lying to her. In the movie, it is stated that Deborah develops schizophrenia after this experience. Not long after that, Deborah has her first schizophrenic episode, where she says she tried to throw her baby sister out of the window. This did not happen but was the beginning of her illness.

The movie promotes the theory that schizophrenia can be caused by childhood trauma. It portrays correct information to the public. The movie will help encourage people to understand people with schizophrenia and how one might develop schizophrenia. Mental illness is not only biological but also based on experiences that people may encounter in their childhood. Schizophrenia may also lead many people to suicide.

Suicide and Schizophrenia

Schizophrenic patients are very prone to committing suicide. They may experience hallucinations, often auditory, which are voices commanding them to kill themselves. People with schizophrenia may have moments where they realize that they are less than other people because they cannot reach some goals like others can. Patients who are categorized as highly functional are at a high risk for suicide; this may be due to them knowing how their life is different than others and realizing they cannot change that. Also, people who are highly functional and have a good life before they develop schizophrenia are at a higher risk for suicide.

What people can do to help prevent suicide in schizophrenic people is first and most importantly provide support. Schizophrenic people should be told and reminded that there is always hope for becoming well and true healing. They need to know that they are not alone in their suffering and they always have a shoulder to lean on. They should be supported and cared for because in many cases love and support can help people get through anything.

Deborah attempted to commit suicide many times while in the hospital and twice before she was brought to the hospital. Her attempts in the hospital were awakened by her cult leader who constantly told her to kill herself to get to him. She also felt depressed and alone many times and wanted to end her life. Her support system was not very strong. The other patients in the hospital irritated Deborah and she only had her therapist to rely on; this also pushed her to attempt suicide.

The movies portrayal is highly consistent with the facts of why schizophrenic patients may lean towards suicide or attempt suicide. The movie also helps the viewer understand and empathize with schizophrenic patients. It may help create more support and understanding of mentally ill people. Another way people may understand mentally ill people is to understand the stigma and myths surrounding them.

Schizophrenia Myths and Stigma

Some common myths about schizophrenia are: you can “catch” it, with strong willpower it can be pushed away, and all people with schizophrenia are violent and cruel. Schizophrenia cannot be “caught” by surrounding people. It also cannot be pushed away with will power, strength, prayer, or other methods alone. Treatment is necessary for people with mental illness to get well. Lastly, though some schizophrenic patients may react to their symptoms with violence, many others do not. It is not correct to make the mistake of grouping them to one characteristic.

Stigma may be one of the biggest reasons schizophrenic people do not seek treatment. Getting help is stigmatized and also there is a negative stigma surrounding therapists. The psychological field is viewed as a “joke” that cannot actually help people.

Old movies do not exactly do a great job of getting rid of these myths and stigma surrounding the psychology field and the importance of seeking help. In the movie, many of the patients are portrayed as violent. In many scenes, they attack one another and throw food at each other. Some of the patients throw themselves on the floor and start screaming uncontrollably and when approached by the nurses, they attack them as well.

When it comes to stigma surrounding mental health professionals, the movie promotes this as well. One of the nurses, Hobbs, is portrayed as mistreating the patients. He touches Deborah inappropriately multiple times. He also slaps and punches other patients which has a detrimental effect on Deborah’s well-being.

Though Deborah had a good relationship with her primary therapist, the movie promotes myths and stigma around patients with schizophrenia, mental health professionals, and hospitals. Watching this movie, many people would be taken back by this kind of treatment and patients actions. Hospitals would become scarier than they already are. The movie does not have an accurate portrayal of mental illness or professionals. This may also be the cause of old treatments that were used in the past.

Psychotherapy in The Past Vs. Today

Before mental health professionals had an insight on real treatment and today's advancements, old treatments of schizophrenia included: “psychiatrists trying to induce fevers in their patients, sometimes by means of injections of Sulphur or oil, sleep therapy, gas therapy, electroconvulsive or electroshock treatment, and prefrontal leucotomy—the removal of the part of the brain that processes emotions”. Many of these treatments were torturous and pointless.

In the movie, Deborah and the other patients are not shown to be treated with any of these treatments. They are treated with hospitalization, medication, and therapy. The treatment in this movie resembles mostly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which is the best option for mental illness today.

CBT for Schizophrenia

CBT for schizophrenia involves establishing a well-connected and healing relationship, developing a shared understanding of the problem, setting goals, and teaching the patient to minimize or live with their symptoms. Therapy is usually conducted in individual sessions in clinical settings which may take up to several months. The goal is not to “cure” schizophrenia, but to improve the person’s ability to function daily, manage their schizophrenia, and minimize the troubles of schizophrenia. Specific CBT approaches used in treating schizophrenia include cognitive restructuring, behavioral experiments/reality testing, self-monitoring, and coping skills training. The point is to help the person with the illness to live a more productive and better life with his/her illness.

The Reasoning Behind the Rating

For the portrayal of the diagnosis I gave the movie an A. Deborah was portrayed with most of the symptoms portrayed in the DSM-5 some of which include: hallucinations, delusions, disoriented thinking, etc. her symptoms and quality of life follow the reality of a schizophrenic patient. For the portrayal of therapy, I gave it a B rating. The treatment portrayed in the movie is not CBT; however, the movie does not use old and outdated methods and the treatment portrayed helps Deborah and some other patients to hopefulness and recovery. For expectations of mental health professionals, I rated the movie a B. Though there is a positive outcome, some of the nurses behave unethically and worsen the patients’ symptoms. I also gave the Feelings about people with mental Illnesses a B. The movie activates the viewer's ethos and many people may sympathize with the patients; however, it lacks the ability to give completely accurate information. Some of the scenes promote myths and stigma about people with mental illness.

The movie addresses many aspects of a schizophrenic’s life accurately and in depth; however, it promotes some myths and stigma. Deborah showed almost all the signs corresponding with the DSM-5’s characteristics of a schizophrenic person. She attempted to commit suicide multiple times; some before being hospitalized and some during. Her schizophrenia began after age 5 when she had surgery to remove her cancer. Her example supports the evidence that childhood trauma can lead to experiencing schizophrenia in adult years. Deborah is hospitalized where she is mainly treated well and has a positive outcome due to being treated with therapy by her therapist; however, the movie promotes some myths about hospitals and mental health professionals. Hobbs, one of the nurses mistreats Deborah and other patients. This may prevent some people from utilizing mental health professionals and seeking treatment. In order for a person to fully understand and grasp the idea of mental illness, examination and research are necessary. Movies may help one begin to understand, but each person should do his/her own research to know what people with mental illnesses lives might be like.

References

https://www.psycom.net/schizophrenia-dsm-5-definition/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZU1stzlHfR0

https://www.div12.org/treatment/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-cbt-for-schizophrenia/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2811142/

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120419102440.htm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4tCPFFm9VE

https://www.sane.org/mental-health-and-illness/facts-and-guides/schizophrenia

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2019-02-combination-therapy-beneficial-schizophrenia.html

https://emedicine.medscape.com/article/2013085-overview#a3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N5NZwPESmQ

#A+work

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itsthejuggernautbitch · 6 years

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You Look Like Trouble (Morning Glory Wine) - Cable/OC

Here’s chapter three! I don’t want to be that person but if you’ve got the time and the inclination, kudos would be great.

Also, here’s a playlist if you’re into that kind of thing. I make them for all my fics. Listen along if you like because the chapter titles correspond to the song.

Taglist: @this-that-and-every-thing-else @ptite-shit @lesbianyondu @chromecutie @gallifreyangrandtorino @ra-ra-rasputiin @akihecko

Mondays suck. The to-do list for the day is always too long, there’s always stuff left over from the weekend, and then there’s the whole week ahead. That's when you've got to go to all of your appointments, deal with life in general. Mondays were just too much.

This Monday, though, was Vivian’s day off. There was work to be done, but not the kind of work where she had to go into the office and hold down small children or bother grown men about taking their medicine properly.

Today, Vivian got to see her kids.

Vivian was in the middle of getting dressed when her doorbell rang. She tumbled out into the hall, tugging her dress down over her head and hopping on one foot to put her shoes on. There was no chance of anything more than a relatively professional dress, ponytail, and a spirited attempt at makeup. She couldn’t remember the last time she made an effort to dress up, but at least the dress was business-y.

The doorbell rang again. When she opened the door, Wade stood on the other side, dressed in the Deadpool suit. Looks like someone else had business to take care of today.

Wade whistled when he saw her. “Look at you! I thought the white coat just came included with the special features! What are you up to today?”

“Parent-teacher conference for Shelly at the middle school today,” Vivian replied, scraping her hair up into a fussy ponytail.

“But I thought you couldn’t - ”

“The ex-husband cannot be in attendance and apparently it’s urgent, so I get to go handle it. Restraining order is against him, not my babies.”

Wade held onto her shoulder so that Vivian could balance long enough to get her other shoe on. “So this is the first time in how long?”

“About a year.”

“Well, I’m sure it’ll be a fun conference. Tell your kids to stop setting off stink bombs or eating Tide pods or whatever it is that kids do for fun these days.”

Vivian was pretty sure that kids didn’t actually do any of those things for fun.

She snorted. “I’m hoping I can take them out for dinner afterward.”

Wade hopped on the couch and stretched out, watching Vivian attempt to finish getting dressed in a timely fashion. “You know where you should go after dinner?”

“Not Sister Margaret’s. It’s my night off.”

He hummed. “I was thinking more about Xavier’s mansion.”

Vivian stopped long enough to stare at him. “Absolutely not.”

“Oh, come on, Colossus wants to talk to you!”

“Yeah, I know,” she replied. “Captain Boy Scout has been trying to sit me down and talk to me about being the school nurse for years. Besides, when did you start rolling out the welcome wagon for the X-Men?”

Wade huffed. “Gimme a break! It’s part of training!”

“What, recruitment?”

“If you come, I don’t have to wear the yellow crop top!”

“Good thing you look good in yellow, because I’m not setting foot in that place,” Vivian replied, grabbing her keys. “Now, let me get out of here, I don’t want to be late.”

Wade opened the door for her, slamming it behind them. “Have fun! Tell the babies that Uncle Wade says hi!”

“They don’t call you Uncle Wade!”

Vivian stood in the school lobby, arms crossed, tapping her foot. She’d been waiting for a solid thirty minutes for Jack to bring the kids, but neither Shelly nor Benji were anywhere in sight. She couldn’t just find the teacher’s room on her own and take care of the problem. She’d never been inside of the middle school, so she didn’t know the whereabouts of the teacher’s classroom.

“Mama!”

A tiny, high-pitched voice preceded the appearance of a tiny blonde girl, like the sound of a bird chirping. Shelly ran towards her, all hundred pounds of middle school girl barreling towards Vivian like a bullet. Benji jogged along behind her, wearing the same grimace that Vivian always gave to Wade when he was overly enthusiastic about something.

She caught Shelly in her arms and gave Benji one of those side-arm hugs teenage boys give when they think they’re too old to hug their moms.

Shelly didn’t stop long enough for greetings. She wouldn’t let go of Vivian’s hand as she pulled her down the hallway. “Lets go get this over with.”

“Hold on, honey, what’s your teacher’s name?”

“Mr. Johnson. He’s kind of a twerp.”

“Why’s he a twerp?”

Benji rolled his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be telling her not to call people twerps?”

“Probably, but I’m your mom and you should be able to express your feelings in a safe, understanding environment. If your sister says the man’s a twerp, he’s a twerp, Benji,” Vivian said. “Why’s he a twerp, Shelly?”

“Well, he called this conference and I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.”

“I don’t even know what happened, Shel Dorado. Your dad didn’t exactly clue me in on that.”

“Dad didn’t even read the letter that got sent home with me?”

“No, Dad just didn’t give me the letter to read. We’re not really allowed to talk, remember?”

“Oh, yeah… Well, I guess Mr. Johnson can tell you,” Shelly said, coming to halt. “This is his room.”

Vivian walked in, Shelly and Benji trailing behind her. The room was the same stringent, basic setup as every other middle school classroom in America, purposefully bland and devoid of hope or fun. Desks were arranged in clinical rows. The teacher’s desk was arranged carefully in the front corner with two chairs across from the teacher’s computer chair.

Benji sat at a desk on the front row while Shelly parked herself in one of the chairs next to the teacher’s desk.

Mr. Johnson stood up and shook Vivian’s hand. “I was under the impression that I would be dealing with Mr. Thorn. We’ve had correspondence about Shelly’s behavior before.”

Vivian sat down in the chair next to Shelly’s. “Well, Mr. Thorn is presently unavailable, as he had something he deemed more important to take care of today. You’ll be dealing with me instead, so why don’t you enlighten me as to Shelly’s behavior.”

The teacher sat down in his chair and scooted it in close to the desk.“She’s been picking a lot of fights lately. I’m just curious as to whether this relating to something that’s happening at home?”

“I wouldn’t know what happens at home, being that Mr. Thorn and I are divorced.”

Mr. Johnson shrugged. “It could be your absence in the home that’s causing this…”

“Well, Mr. Johnson, why don’t you explain to Mr. Thorn that my absence in my children’s life is negatively impacting them so that he’ll authorize visitation,” Vivian replied, liking the teacher less and less with every passing minute. “This, I assume, would only be possible in the event you or the nearest other available pig grows wings and takes flight.”

“Ms. Sharpe-”

“Dr. Sharpe.”

“Dr. Sharpe, I meant no disrespect to you. I wasn’t insinuating anything.”

Yeah, right.

Vivian didn’t have a lot of patience to begin with, but he was testing what little she had. “Why don’t we ask Shelly why she’s acting out? It may be that you’re not addressing her needs as a student. Shelly, what’s going on?”

Shelly looked like she’d rather be anywhere else in the world at that very moment. “Tom and John made it a game to pull every girls’ hair, snap bra straps, pull down our pants. I’ve been telling Mr. Johnson that for months.”

There is a special kind of fury only felt by mothers of girls, because mothers of girls know exactly what kind of pain they’re going through.

“Is this true, Mr. Johnson?”

“She’s the only student who’s complained about this…”

If she didn’t have to set a good example for her kids, Vivian would have definitely punched him by now. “So, what? The testimony of one little girl isn’t enough to make you address this situation?”

“That’s not what I was saying…”

“No, you’re saying that these little boys are touching Shelly and you’re not doing anything about it.”

“She punched Tom Wells in the face and broke his nose.”

“Good,” Vivian snapped. “She did something about it when you wouldn’t. The only thing you’re doing is teaching my child that she won’t be taken seriously.”

“Dr. Sharpe, I have reprimanded them.”

“You gave those boys a slap on the wrist, but you pulled me and both of my children away from our lives to have a conversation about my daughter defending herself?”

“That wasn’t the intention.”

“I know what your intention was, Mr. Johnson,” she said. “I’m a thirty-four year old woman with a medical doctorate. I know exactly what she’s going through and how you’re responding to it because I’ve been dealing with the same thing for thirty-four years myself.”

“Well, if you’re not going to have a conversation with me, Dr. Sharpe, perhaps you should leave.”

“Oh, I think this was a great conversation, Mr. Johnson. And don’t worry, I’ll be pulling her from your class.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Oh, I can’t? Watch me.” She motioned for Shelly and Benji to follow her. “Come on, guys.”

Vivian held open the door so that the kids could walk ahead of her. She slammed the door behind her and stalked down to the lobby to take care of this problem. When you found the business office door, she pulled open the door and looked for the administrative assistant.

She found Lucy, the administrative assistant, waiting for her in her office. “I need you to take care of something for me.”

Lucy looked up at her over the rim over her glasses. “Switch Shelly to a different class? Way ahead of you.”

“How’d you know?”

“I just needed consent from you or Jack to get her out of that class,” Lucy replied, already typing away at her keyboard. “It’s like the more she fights back, the bigger the target on her head.”

“Well, get her off the firing range. She’s got a target on her head because that teacher isn’t doing anything about it.”

Lucy nodded. “I’ll get it taken care of, Viv.”

“Thank you, Lucy. Can you send me updates on things?”

“I will.”

“Thanks again. I’ll see you later.”

Vivian left the office decidedly calmer than she expected to. She motioned for Shelly and Benji to follow her out. The kids followed Vivian out to her car.

Shelly grabbed Vivian’s hand and swung it as they walked. “Can you come to all the teacher conferences from now on?”

Vivian pulled Benji into a one-arm hug as she walked, despite the fact that he looked like he was going to die of embarrassment. “Of course I can. I didn’t even know all of this was going on or I would have been crawling his ass long before now.”

“Language, mom,” Benji said. She was vividly reminded of a smaller, less shiny Colossus as that moment.

“Sorry, honey.”

Vivian climbed into her car and waited for the two of them to climb in behind her. They both slid into the backseat, shoving each other for elbow space. She started the car, put it into gear, and sped off towards the exit.

“Hey, mama?” Benji asked. Vivian’s heart melted a little bit. She hadn’t heard Benji call her that in years . “Can you get me put in a different English class? She gives pop quizzes.”

“No, Benji. Pop quizzes are good for you,” Vivian replied, searching absently for the street she needed to turn onto. “What do you two want for dinner?”

“Pizza,” they said in unison.

Vivian sighed. “How many times have you had pizza this week?”

“Three.”

“Wouldn’t you rather have something healthier?”

“No.”

“What does your father feed you? Jeeze. Pizza it is, I guess.”

Vivian could see why Wade harassed her about getting sleep. If she slumped any lower in her chair she was going to hit the (very bloody) floor.

It was a slow Friday night, which was rare. Friday nights usually meant a steady flow of wounds to stitch up. Thank goodness she’d only had a couple of patients, though. There was no way she would have been able to deal with the Friday night load in her current state of overwhelming exhaustion. Of course, even though it was a slow night, she’d had two difficult patients. Both of them bled everywhere (as is the nature of stab wounds), which only exacerbated her exhaustion. She got both of them stable and stitched up, though.

The time was drawing close to two a.m. She was only sticking around so that she could pay Cable, whenever he decided to show up. Cable didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would skip out on a payment, so Vivian was a little worried that he might have forgotten his deadline, or worse - that he might have had some trouble with his mark.

The mark in this instance was the man Vivian bought all of her medical supplies from. He never stiffed her on numerical counts, but she had long suspected that he was buying the lowest quality items and pocketing the different. Distasteful, unethical - not technically illegal, but none of these practices - his or her own - were legal anyway, so she could do something about his poor business practices. She suspected that it was his doing that all of her supplies had been substituted out and replaced. She wasn’t exactly surprised that he did it - more annoyed than anything. That was fine. She had learned over the years that one must fight back in order to accomplish anything.

She knew how to fight all too well.

Really, she shouldn’t have been worried that Cable forgot his deadline, or failed to meet it. She realized that when the medical room door was thrown open, and in stepped Cable and the mark.

Cable dragged the guy in by his ear and shoved him towards Vivian. “Jimmy here’s got something to say to you, Dr. Sharpe.”

Vivian bit her lip to keep from snorting. She was pretty sure she’d never seen a grown man’s ear twisted like a bad schoolboy’s by another fully grown man. “What on Earth is going on here?”

Cable flicked the man’s ear. There was a little blood. “What do you say, asshole?”

“I’m sorry, Dr. Sharpe!” Jimmy said, grimacing when Cable twisted his ear again. “I’m sorry I switched out your supplies!”

“What else did you want to tell her?”

Jimmy flinched, shying away from Cable as far as he could without running the risk of being flicked on the ear again. “I’ll get you what you paid for, no charge!”

“And?”

“And I’ll buy the placebos back!”

“ And? ”

“And I won’t do it again, I swear!”

Cable slapped him on the back of the head, pushing him towards her. “Now give her the money.”

Jimmy tossed Vivian a hefty roll of cash, which she caught easily. She didn’t bother to count it. Cable would have made sure it was the correct amount.

Cable grabbed Jimmy by the back of his shirt and pulled him towards the door. “Get out of here, and make sure I don’t have to come after you again.”

Jimmy scurried out of the bar, spurred on by bar patrons throwing beer bottles at him. They’d all heard that he’d stiffed their doctor (thanks to Weasel’s loose tongue), and they weren’t happy about it. Who else was going to remove their stitches without pulling and not charge them thousands of dollars like real hospitals do?

Vivian stuck her head out the door to watch him run off, chuckling when she caught sight of the wet spot on Jimmy’s jeans. To be fair, peeing himself was the appropriate response.

Vivian shut the door behind her. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a merc make a mark apologize to me.”

Cable shrugged. “Yeah, well, he was a scumbag. Needed to learn a little humility.”

Vivian couldn’t disagree with that. Most of the people she associated with were scumbags - some more so than others. And yet, some of them weren’t so bad.

Vivian supposed she should pay him for a job well done. She peeled off a section of the roll of cash. “This is what I owe you. Count behind me and make sure it’s right.”

He waved her off. “Keep it.”

What was it with Wade and his weird friends not letting her pay them?

Vivian sighed. “Between you and Wade, I swear… I’ll get a bad reputation if people keep doing work for me for free.”

“I didn’t do it for free,” Cable said, staring at her with those piercing eyes. “You stitched me up the other night. Damn good job, too. The scar’s not even that bad.”

Vivian shook her head. “Wade took care of your bill last week. Next excuse?”

He huffed. “Well, I just…”

Cable didn’t give her an answer, just shuffled from one foot to the other, looking just past her. Vivian suspected that Cable had several reasons for not taking payment from her. Maybe he had some kind of sense of loyalty for Wade, maybe he had some feeling of duty towards her. Damn mercenaries never could talk about their feelings. Whatever the reason, she knew she was going to have to bother him to take her money in the future.

Perhaps in her determination to read his emotions, Vivian stared Cable down too hard. Everything about him was just… entrancing. A little terrifying. Exhilarating. He caught her stare and didn’t look away.

Out of the corner of her eye, Vivian caught blood dripping from his ungloved hand.

“Give me your hand.”

Cable didn’t ask why, he just held out his hand (albeit warily). His knuckles were split and scraped, like he’d tried to swing on someone and hit a wall instead, probably done while dragging Jimmy into her medical room. Vivian took his hand between her own and did her best to look away from his face.

She held his hand for a full minute and let the cold energy emanating from her hands wrap around his. He jumped when his hand got cold, but didn’t pull away.

When she released his hand, he pulled away, hand completely healed. He inspected the fresh pink flesh covering his knuckles. “You’re a healer?”

“Only a little bit. It’s just a secondary ability.”

“Why don’t you use it more often? Seems like it would save some time instead of poking and stabbing all these people.”

“I’m kind of stretching to do it now, honestly. I have the ability to reject events - trees falling over, pianos falling out of windows. It doesn’t work with organic material, for the most part.”

“So how are you doing it now?”

Vivian shrugged. “I don't know. Sometimes it just works. Usually, I have to be pretty stressed, or… really need it to work.”

“Well, I know you’re pretty stressed…”

Ah. So that’s why he wouldn’t accept his payment. She hadn’t pegged Cable for a sentimental type, but that just added a new layer to his otherwise gruff and stoic facade. A shame; it made it that much harder for Vivian not to like him.

Vivian quirked an eyebrow. “Alright, what’s Wade told you?”

Cable grimaced. He must have realized that he’d hit a nerve. “Enough.”

“Explain.”

He explained in that sort of way that Vivian could only describe as infuriatingly stoic. She was beginning to think that this was his own special brand of macho. “Two jobs, two kids, and you never sleep.”

“That it?”

“Isn’t that enough?”

So Wade must have left it at that. Very few people were privy to the full situation. He might have loose lips sometimes, but Wade was unfailingly loyal.

Good boy, Wade.

“And that’s why you won’t let me pay you.”

Cable looked like a man who’d been cornered. Which, he had been. “I didn’t really have to do much. Not like ol’ Jimmy was was hard to bring in or anything. You’ve got other things to worry about that paying me for that.”

Vivian was accustomed to fighting for every good thing in her life. Perhaps she was finally being given something good for once.

“You have a good heart for a mercenary,” she said, folding her arms across her chest. “Wade keeps good friends.”

He gave her the tiniest of smiles - so small that she would have missed it had she not been physically unable to look away from his face. “If you need me to do anything else…”

“You’re first on the list, Cable. Thank you.”

Vivian had met Cable three times now, and in those three times, she’d figured out pretty quickly that she was going to have a tough time keeping her head on straight where he was concerned. She’d been denying herself the prospect of dating or even feeling for so long; denying the desire for emotional or physical care. She had an undeniable attraction to Cable; he was gruff, stoic, intense . It wouldn’t be so bad if he was attracted to her, too…

Vivian had never made a single decision that wasn’t calculated and planned down to the minute. She’d learned the hard way that missteps could be fatal, and she couldn’t afford to lose anything else.

And yet, as Cable turned to leave, Vivian made one of the most impulsive decisions she’d ever made in her entire life.

Vivian called his name and stopped him. “Can I buy you a beer?”

“No…”

Vivian couldn’t pretend that didn’t sting a little bit.

“… but you can let me buy you one.”

He grinned. Not the tiny half-grin from a minute ago, but a real smile. And just like that, Vivian knew she wouldn’t be able to guard her heart from this one, not if he wanted it.

#cable #MCU!cable #cable headcanons #cable x reader #cable imagines #deadpool headcanons #deadpool imagines #deadpool #mcu!deadpool

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calliecat93 · 3 years

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ST: TNG S6 Watchthrough Episodes 2-5

Realm of Fear: Barclay’s back! So this time, our favorite anxious officer is dealing with a fear of transporters. Oh good, it’s not just a trait unique to the CMO’s! But seriously, I fully understand Barclay’s (and by proxy McCoy and Pulaski’s) fear of the things though especially with all the incidents we’ve seen with transporters in both series. I mean just a few episodes ago Geordi and Ro essentially became ghosts! But hey Barclay can eventually go through with it… but during the beam back, he sees some kind of lifeform within it. The poor man just cannot catch a break in any of these episodes! He’s convinced that he’s losing it and may have transporter psychosis, a condition that essentially causes hallucinations. Which him asking the computer about it… wow THAT scene aged incredibly well cause let’s face it, we’ve ALL read medical descriptions online and jumped to the conclusion that we had a serious illness without any actual professional conformation. It honestly makes the episode insanely relatable with Barclay’s anxiety, fearing that he has some kind of serious condition, trying to deal with the issue without seeking help which just makes it worst, and just being a walking bundle of nerves… well, more than usual. I… was actually in such a state not too long ago and am lucky to have a therapist mother who calmed me down, so needless to say he hit me like a lead balloon. I do like that once Barclay does come forward about it, the others take it seriously. Picard even notes that considering everything else, a lifeform in the transporter beam is very much a plausible problem that should be looked into. So I guess the lesson here is that if you’re concerned about something or fear that something is wrong with you, get help. But yeah, good episode! I think it’s my favorite Barclay episode~! Plus he got to save the day in the end, good job buddy~! 3.5/5.

Man of the People: Troi is in love… again. Okay, not that I’m against romance, but do we have to do this as frequently as ST does it when we know it’s not gonna last?! Anyways, we have a negotiator, Alkar, and his elderly, very overprotective mother. Troi and Alkar start flirting… but then the mother dies, and Troi begins undergoing some changes. Not only is she becoming more rapidly negative, possessive and clingy towards Alkar, and outright violent, but she starts aging rapidly. It’s pretty much the aging disease from Unnatural Selection combined with the plot of Violations. So yeah, it’s another ’victimize Troi’ plot because we were just dying for more of that! Seriously, can the show just be nice to her already?! But yeah, Alkar is horrible. The reason Troi is acting this way is because he transmitted his negative emotions into her just like he did his ‘mother’ (who is actually a woman he previously did this to) and comes off just as horrid as the bad guy in Violations. While I hate how they keep doing crap like this to Troi, it is disturbing to see her act so completely unlike herself. She’s usually such a nice, comforting, cheerful person and to see her so spiteful, mean-spirited, and vicious even towards her patients is just… so wrong. Fortunately, Alkar got what was coming to him and Crusher manages to save Troi, which thank goodness that they allowed Crusher to be awesome at least. The episode is overall fine. It certainly freaked me out and there’s a message in there about monsters like Alkar who seem all nice but is actually a terrible person who has killed multiple women. That’s certainly still relevant and Picard calling Alkar out is very satisfying especially when he tries using the greater good as an excuse. It’s what helps me not rate this lower than I do… I just wish that they’d quit using Troi as the designated victim and just treat her better whenever she’s in focus. She deserves better. 3/5.

Relics: IT’S SCOTTY! OH MY GOD!!! So Scotty ended up stuck in a transport beam for 75 years... yes, really. But yeah, the TNG crew bring him out of it so he gets to see the Enterprise-D. It’s actually kinda nice since Spock’s guest appearance keeps him on Romulus and while McCoy did go onto the ship (or at least to Sickbay) in his cameo, that was off-screen... kinda sucks that he only got two minutes while Scotty got a full episode and Spock a two-parter tbh. Ah well. There’s also a continuity error cause Scotty assumed that Kirk sent the Enterprise after him... even though he knows that Kirk ‘died’ cause he was there when it happened in Generations. I guess tbf that hadn’t been planned yet and we can just say his brain is scrambled from being in a transporter beam for 70+ years, but still. Because of those said 70+ years, Scotty is completely out of touch with the changed times, and his engineering expertise and knowledge are decades out of date. It’s really just… sad. He wants to help and tries to get used to the way things are, but you can tell that he’s having a hard time with it. He feels like… well, a relic of the past. Especially when he goes into the Holodeck and brings up the image of the TOS Bridge and they used the TOS score, that was just… damn. Seeing it but it being utterly empty as Scotty wanders around and toasts to his old friends, just perfect execution. Heck seeing Picard on the TOS bridge was such a nice image~! This was such a joy to watch. I know that James Doohan had probably just come off The Undiscovered Country so getting back into Scotty likely wasn't hard, but still. He got much, much more than he ever did in either the show or the films tbh and he did an excellent job and I just feel so bad for Scotty throughout. Thankfully he got to prove that he’s very much still got it and a renewed sense of worth, free to explore the galaxy. His interaxtions with geordi were also good and truly feels like a nice, long overdue pasisng the torch moment that Geordi deserved. It was such a great episode and f was so respectful towards TOS as well, showing that despite its age, it is very much still valuable. That is the kind of respect that I appreciate in reboots/spin-offs so thank you TNG. 5/5.

Schisms: Riker is having sleep problems. He can’t fall asleep at night, falls asleep at impromptu times, and still feels tired afterward. It’s okay buddy, I go through that constantly. But more strangeness happens as incidents like Geordi’s VISOR shorting out occurs and many of the crew find that they have an hour gap in their memories, including Data. So what’s going on? As it turns out… alien abduction. Yes, really. Various crew members have been captured/tested by aliens and poofed back as though nothing happened, but with repressed memories such as laying on a surgical table. It kind of reminds me of Conspiracy where we have an alien race plotting who knows what and we get no real resolution concerning them in the end, though like with that one I think that the ambiguousness actually makes the whole thing scarier. Oh and we also don’t have the possession plot and the graphic bits. So it was overall good. Freaky for sure especially with reveals like Riker’s arm got amputated then reattached and he can’t remember any of it. Not much else to say tbh other than that it’s solid. Also loved Data’s poetry, you keep expressing yourself and your love for your cat buddy~! 3/5.

#st watchthrough

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idontdohats-archive · 6 years

Text

Harry and Gwen: Siren Song

(( @omniuniversal Sorry that this thing is SO. FREAKING. LONG. I wanted to trim it down a bit but it’s not letting me. :P So... hope it works as a starting place. Will just slowly build the plot as we go, I guess. :) Oh... uh, this is pretty spoilery in some places if you haven’t read the books. If you’d rather skip spoilers I can edit that stuff out.))

“Savannah.”

The girl stared at nothing with glassy brown eyes as I softly spoke her name and waved my hand before the grayish pallor of her face, and I frowned. I hate this part. Hate seeing the victims, innocents swept up in things they cannot even begin to understand. Hate seeing the looks of helpless desperation in the lives of their families, their friends.

I turned to Janet Devlin, who hovered nearby, her features twisted in that same expression, that same helpless desperation, as she slowly, almost rhythmically wrung her hands together. I didn't quite meet her eyes, because I didn't want to get swept into a soulgaze, but I could see the planes and angles of her daughter's face reflected in her features, crisscrossed with the fine lines of impending age. And I didn't need a soulgaze to see the mother's love displayed there.

“Mrs. Devlin--” I began, but she interrupted.

“Please,” she said. “Call me Janet.”

“Janet.” I kept my voice gentle, but I needed to push for answers. “Why come to me about this?”

I've found, in my line of work, that clients are often-- not always, but often-- divided into two camps. There are the believers, people who look for things out of the ordinary, who eagerly seek out supernatural explanations to mundane causes. The creaks and drafts of an old house become a ghostly presence. A blinking satellite takes on life as an alien craft. I once had a client whose child regularly suffered from night terrors, had undergone a rapid personality change, and developed bruises and scratches from unknown causes. There was no diabolical spirit attaching itself to that child, despite what the mother had convinced herself of. The culprit in that particular case was utterly, despicably human.

Sometimes, I prefer spooks and monsters to people. At least you know exactly where they stand once their glamours are stripped away.

Other times, though, I see people who are mundane, normal, relatively well-adjusted, and are confronted by things beyond their understanding. Things they can't deny. Things they are often reluctant to talk about because they think nobody will believe them. Because they hardly even believe it themselves.

I could clearly see that Janet fell into the latter category.

“The doctors don't know what it is,” she said slowly, looking away.

“Yeah. So you said. And then you jumped from 'medical professionals' straight to 'wizard.' Not a usual leap in logic.” I touched her arm, just a brief brush of my fingers on her sleeve. “Janet. I can't help her if you don't talk to me.”

“Someone... someone told me you'd be able to help.”

“Who?”

“Just... someone. I don't know. A random stranger in the hospital. A man. He... he said he knew I'd... seen something...”

I frowned. “What did he look like?”

“I don't know. It's all so hazy.”

“Give it your best shot.”

“He was...” The skin around her eyes crinkled and she reached up and rubbed at her brow. “I don't... I really can't remember, Mr. Dresden. But he gave me your card and said I should call you.”

Okay. Weird and vaguely suspicious, but something to set aside for future reference. The important question was: “What did you see that was strange?”

Janet stood quietly for a moment, then walked the few steps across the room, to Savannah's beside table. Opening the top drawer, she withdrew a small journal, bound in a cheery cover displaying a cluster of daisies. The journal grasped in her hand, she turned to face me and took a deep breath.

“She was... seeing a boy,” she said, then corrected herself. “A young man. Like I told you in your office. It seemed innocent at first. She seemed happy at first. Maybe a bit infatuated. But then... I don't know. She... she changed.”

“How?”

“She just... did. I know my Savannah. She was always sort of... I don't know, bubbly. Full of life. Sweet and kind and creative. Until...” A deep sigh shuddered through her. “She became withdrawn, quiet. Stopped calling. Stopped coming to visit.” A ghost of a smile touched her lips, then vanished. “We used to have dinner once a week, at the house, you know. She'd come over and we'd team up in the kitchen and go all out, make this huge five-course meal that neither of us could ever finish...” Her gaze lowered to the journal, and she smoothed a hand over its cover. “I was worried. I came by her dorm one day. Saw them together. She... she was...” She stuttered into silence and gave me an uneasy look.

“Go on,” I urged.

“I swear, it was like he was... I don't know... feeding from her somehow. She was just... sagging into him, and I saw his face change, saw him... like he started to glow...”

Oh, Hell's bells.

“I didn't know what to do. I should have... I was... I just stood there like an idiot.” She fell silent for a few seconds.

“Don't-- you shouldn't blame yourself, Janet. You don't--” I tried to say that she didn't know how badly it could have gone for both of them had she tried to intervene, but she was already talking again, so I shut my mouth.

“And then he slipped away. Left her standing there, swaying like... like she was drunk. Or drugged. He stepped behind the building. Never seemed to see me standing there. And-- and. Um. I...” She swallowed visibly, shifting from one foot to the other, as her hand traced absent circles over the journal's cover. I waited.

“He flew,” she said finally.

I wasn't expecting that. “Um. He what?”

“I know. It sounds insane...”

“No, no. Just tell me.”

“I looked up and saw him rising up, above the dorm building.”

“Huh. Okay.” I frowned, and she looked away.

“You don't believe me.”

“I do.” And I did. What she described sounded an awful lot like a White Court vampire of the Raith variety. Only, I've never seen any of them fly. That was a new one to me. But it wasn't outside of the realm of possibility. Not in the loony-ass world I live in.

“Mrs.-- uh, Janet. What was this guy's name?”

“She never said his name. It was always, 'my boyfriend' or 'my sweetie' or... some endearment or another. She'd get evasive when I said I wanted to meet him. That should have clued me in. But...” She took a breath, and then pressed the journal into my hands. “She calls him 'M' in here. Just 'M,' as if she's even afraid to write down his name. If you... when you read it, you'll see. I think she knew something was happening to her. But it was like she didn't want to know.”

I took the journal and looked down at it for a few seconds before opening the cover. Flipping through the first few pages, I saw the typical young college girl stuff-- studying and friends and interpersonal drama. The entries were written in an elegant, feminine script, with a sort of flowing cadence and rhythm that made me think she had the soul of a poet. Has, I thought. She still has the soul of a poet. Because she’s still alive and you're gonna save her.

I thought about Thomas and Justine. My half brother is a White Court vampire, a supernatural being that feeds from emotion. In the case of the Raith clan, of which he is a part, the emotion he feeds from is lust. He can't help what he is. But he tries to be a good man, to tame the monster, keeping the demon locked away. And he is in love with a human. Thomas' father, who in no way could ever be called a good man, once locked his severely injured, hunger-crazed son in a room with his human lover, in the hopes that he would kill her. He nearly did, and it nearly destroyed him, which was exactly what his father had intended. But she survived. And, though the process was slow, she did heal over time. Came back to herself. She was never quite the same, but she regained enough strength to function again.

If she could, so could Savannah. I hoped.

I kept turning pages in the diary. And I read:

My Golden Boy Drink deep of me Soul-full. I fall to the Abyss Uncaring Siren-song binding. And so I die for you. Are you my mind? I think this must be wrong. Self-preservation Like distant memory. Forgotten instinct. Evolutionary dead end. This is Paradise. Or Purgatory.

“Damn it,” I muttered under my breath. I felt a tightening in my chest and closed my eyes for a moment.

Sometimes, I think I care too much. But that's where the magic comes from, that deep well of emotional energy, love and hate and rage and fear and longing, and the desperate need to make things better, so I'll sure as hell go right on caring until my insides spill out all around me and I finally end up in that grave one of my old enemies so generously provided for me years ago.

I looked at Janet. “Do you mind if I keep this? It could have important information.”

She nodded. “Of course not. Take whatever you need.”

“Thanks.” I tucked it into the pocket of my duster, and prepared to leave. I had a phone call to make.

#omniuniversal #role play #Siren Song

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missmentelle · 6 years

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(1) Brace yourself this is long, so I thank you in advance for reading it and responding to it (if you decide to). I feel like I have no bodily autonomy in my marriage. We're newlyweds, getting our lives sorted and it's exciting and scary. The thing is, we have sex between 2-4x per day and he's always initiating because, due to how often we're intimate my body is exhausted. Brushing my teeth? He'll give my butt a slap. Trying to sleep? I'll wake up to him being inside of me.

(2) If I'm trying to clean, he'll bend me over or try and get oral from me without asking. I don't mind doing things because we're married, however, I've spoken to him about this many times now; that I need space. Every night for the past week I'll wake up to him being inside me. He has only asked once during this week if I wanted it or not (to which that time I said yes). There was one time near the beginning where he did this; I have complex PTSD and D.I.D. (amongst other things).(3) Waking up to him doing that has given me panic attacks and I'd start hyperventilating while he's doing it. To which he's responded with, "hey, it's just me." and he keeps going instead of stopping. I feel like I'm losing a battle because I've told him before that waking me up that way is really triggering for me. Furthermore, he always does this between 1:30am and 2am. I'm the kind of person where, if you wake me up after 2-3 hours of sleep, I can't get back to sleep (yet another PTSD thing)(4) I have a history of not being able to sleep due to my CPTSD. Due to all this, I've dropped weight again (I'm 5'11 and now 117lbs), I wake up crying (daily) and dread going to sleep and getting out of bed, I've missed many job interviews, I have noticeable bags under my eyes and my sleeping pattern has been thrown off. Furthermore he says that, "When you're married anything goes." Since I've talked to him already, do you have any tips on how to reduce it or make it stop?(5) Forgot to add...Its not that I dislike my husband touching me... it's just so often that I don't feel like my body is mine anymore. I feel exhausted and it's neverending. I don't feel heard.The way your husband is treating you is so, so, so not okay. It’s beyond not okay. This is rape. He is initiating sex with you while you are asleep and unable to consent, and refuses to stop even when you are having a panic attack. He is destroying your mental health, your physical health and your professional career in order to fulfill his own sexual desires, and he doesn’t seem to care what it’s costing you. It’s completely unacceptable for him to be doing this to his spouse, and I’m extremely concerned about your well-being. He is a grown man, and has absolutely no excuse for not understanding the most basic tenants of consent. This is not a healthy marriage in any way, shape, or form, and you do not deserve to be treated this way. When you married your husband, you agreed to be his partner and stay by his side through sickness and health. You did not sign over ownership of your body to him, and you did not legally become his property. You are still your own, individual person with rights to your own body. It’s absolutely not true that “in marriage, anything goes” - your husband is not allowed to hit you, he cannot force you to get surgery, and he cannot have sex with you whenever he feels like it. It’s YOUR body, and YOU have to consent to what happens to it. Some couples are okay with one starting sex while the other is asleep, but you’ve clearly expressed to him that you’re not okay with it, and he needs to knock it off, now. Having sex 2-4x per day, every day, is a pace that most people would struggle to maintain, and you have every right to say “I can’t do this anymore”. Being married to you doesn’t give him the right to have HIS sexual needs filled any time he wants - he needs to fucking suck it up, act like a grown-up, and realize that he can’t always get what he wants. Think about this if it was the other way around. If you knew that being tickled was a possible trigger for your husband, would you do it to him 2-4 times per day, even when he protested? Would you wake him up in the middle of the night doing it, even when he begged you to stop? Would you keep on tickling him day in and day out, even as his mental health crumbled in front of you? I’m guessing not. Most people would be devastated if they found out that their actions were having such a huge negative impact on the person they loved. A loving husband wants to see you happy, support you in your goals, and wants you to be healthy. Your husband is causing you to miss job interviews, have mental health episodes and drop to a medically unhealthy weight, and he doesn’t care, as long as he keeps getting off. He’s not treating you like a spouse; he’s treating you like some sort of sex slave. In a healthy marriage, partners compromise, and they absolutely respect each other’s boundaries. I’m asexual, and I’ve been in serious relationship with non-asexual partners - in each relationship, we’ve had to be open about our feelings and make compromises about how often we would have sex, and how we would manage his sex drive in a way that worked for both of us. And I’ve managed to have successful long-term relationships. The one boyfriend who crossed a boundary without consent was out of my life shortly afterward. Rape has absolutely no place in a healthy relationship, and it’s not possible to build a stable and happy marriage that involves it. I think the only think you can do now is tell your husband that this behaviour stops NOW or you’re walking out. You don’t feel heard because your husband isn’t listening - he’s under the impression that he can get away with this forever without any consequences because “we’re married”. He needs to know that this is unacceptable and that there will be an immediate response if he doesn’t change his ways. At the moment, your husband doesn’t seem to understand that you’re a human being - he’s totally okay with watching you crumble before his eyes, in the name of his sexual pleasure. He’s not going to respond to gentle reminders or earnest conversations about your feelings. I think the only thing he’ll respond to is the threat of losing the marriage if he doesn’t start treating you like a human being. It’s hard to give someone that kind of ultimatum, but it has to be done. I know that you’re probably very in love with him, but you deserve so much better than this. He might be great to you the rest of the time, but there are people out there who will be great to you and ALSO not constantly rape you. You deserve better, and if he won’t respect you, I think you need to leave him and find better. Best of luck to you. Be safe.

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