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#incorrect ish quotes
plistommy · 21 days
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Dustin: Why are you being such a dick, Steve?!
Eddie: Yeah, man. What’s gotten into to you?
Steve: Well obviously not you, Eddie!
[pause]
Dustin: HUH?!!!
Eddie, pushing Dustin out of the room: GO EAT YOUR LUNCH!
Dustin: IT’S 8PM—
Eddie: EAT IT!! *slams the door*
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celtic-crossbow · 2 months
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Y/N: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.
Daryl: The fuck kinda Subway were ya goin’ to?
Rick, at the same time: Substitute teachers dealt with so much shit.
Carol: Guys, you can’t be—
Y/N, whispers harshly: Don’t ruin this for me.
Y/N, smiling sweetly while holding out a hand for each man: Oh, my dear boys. Follow me.
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spn-lesbian · 11 months
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Crowley, holding a phone: it's your friend
Dean, taking it: Cas and I have been married for eight years
Dean, answering: what's wrong, buddy?
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cupids-chamber · 1 year
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Y/N: I love murder mysteries!
Floyd, trying to impress them: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.
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sualne · 1 year
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'I can't stand him'
[image description: a digital illustration of characters from dungeon meshi. shuro embraces laios, who slouches into him. kabru and namari reach to support laios as well. kabru and shuro have looks of concern.]
ID written by @kallistoi, thank you so much!
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maxcuntstappen · 2 months
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F1 via The Interwebs™️ (x)
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Colin: Hey Anthony, can I have some dating advice?
Anthony: Just because I ended up with Kate, doesn’t mean I know how I did it.
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swirlymarimo · 3 months
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Brook: *sips his tea*
Zoro: *staring into his cup*
Brook: So. You and Sanji san?
Zoro: *rolls his eye* Don't even get me started. He looked at me with those big blue eyes and I forgave him just like that, and now it's like nothing even happened.
Brook: That's okay isn't it?
Zoro: *remembering Thriller Bark*
Brook: Afterall, everyone is safe and sound.
Zoro: Is...is this how he felt? Back then?
Brook: It's not my place to say. However, it does not feel good does it?
Zoro: We're all ginormous idiots aren't we?
Brook: *chuckles*
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demonandangeltwins · 4 months
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Stephanie: My therapist started crying mid session
Jason: I think that means you win
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moody-b1tch · 9 months
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(cw: for jealousy, kinda yandere-ish behavior and feelings™)
Yuu: Jamil, jealousy is a normal emotion, but-
Jamil: I'm not "jealous". I have spent my whole life serving Kalim. I belong to him. So does it seem fair that someone else can just come and take Kalim away from me? Hell, no.
Yuu: Dude, just drop the knife-
Jamil, hissing: Over my dead body.
Yuu: Jamil, for fuckin's sake. That's Silver. He's just taking one of his little naps. You can't hate a guy for taking a little nap.
Jamil: On Kalim's thighs!
Yuu: I mean, they look comf- JAMIL, DROP THE KNIFE. C'MON, JAMIL, I DON'T EVEN LIKE MEN.
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As celebration for 1500 followers...
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Life Is Strange meets AO3!
Credit for screenshots under the cut
In order: GameGrin, The Artifice, Game Rant, DualShockers, WordPress.com, Life Is Strange Amino, @/frogyjones-art, @/thesinofmax, r/lifeisstrange, @/markjeffershitsugardaddy
Thanks to @dear-ao3 and @ao3screenshots for the ao3 tags :)
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plistommy · 1 month
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Billy: Stop being a fucking pussy and lift it!
Eddie: I can’t! It’s too heavy, man!
Billy: *stomping towards Steve and lifting him up easily while Steve was washing the dishes*
Steve: Billy, what—
Billy: You wanna be able to hold him like this? Right?Then lift the fucking barbell, bitch!
Eddie: Shit, OKAY! *bench presses 50lbs*
Billy: YES!!
Steve: *still carried around by Billy*
Steve: I hate you guys
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spn-lesbian · 1 year
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angel: I thought we told you not to bring any backup
Cas: I didn't
angel: then who's that behind you?
Cas: oh him? He's not backup. He's like a trophy boyfriend. I bring him along on dangerous negotiations so he can see how awesome I am
Dean: *waves*
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cissa-calls · 5 months
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Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 661
Wanda: “Is someone hogging the wifi? I’m trying to get some emails in from Shield”
Y/N: “I’m just playing some music, I can get off if you need?”
Wanda: “Thank you for the offer, though I can’t imagine that’s being the problem. Agatha? Are you using the wifi?”
Agatha: *downloading the Three Lord of the Rings movies, a copy of War & Peace, and a Sims game all at the same time to her outdated laptop that’s about to explode*
Agatha: “I have no fucking idea”
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babygirl-diaz · 8 months
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Buck: Well, I'd still take you Eddie: You think so? Buck: I know *presses Eddie against the counter and leans in* You wanna go for the title? Eddie: What if I do? Buck: *closes the space between them and kisses him*
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bisexual-cryptid · 2 years
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steve: that was so hot.
eddie: i literally just called the person who flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them i hope they get dragged through the streets.
steve, getting on his knees: i’m so in love with you
eddie: oH?!
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