#in excess and usually with no regard for how they feel and without Regular conversations inbetween | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mittensmorgul · 3 years

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For anyone interested in long-term residence in the supernatural fandom, please have some observations I’ve made over the decade I’ve been here. Take it or leave it as you will, but I’ve found all of this info useful over the years I’ve been here.

I wrote this yesterday, and it achieved its mission of identifying the sort of folks who would react negatively to it (i.e. a lot of block lists have been updated), so now that it’s been edited for content, it’s going under a cut (because that is how we do things on tumblr in general, unless we have a deliberate purpose for annoying readers with excessively long text posts) for the sake of people who actually do care about the fandom and its history. If that’s not you or your reason for being here, then keep on keeping on with your own thing, I guess. For those who are interested, there’s a lot of fandom resources some of us have been building for years that you might enjoy knowing about.

First off, I’ve been informed by a few friends who’ve read through this for coherency’s sake that it sort of reads like a *shakes cane from porch* fandom grandma complaint, but honestly... I earned this rocking chair and goshdangit imma rock now. So apologies for any “back in my day” vibes or faint aroma of tiger balm this post might give off. Then again, it’s loosely based on a similar post from 2012 so like... time is a flat circle anyway I guess.

1. There is no such thing as “tumblr famous,” unless you’re referring to the hilarious and delightful fic of the same name (please go read it, you will cackle). Posting Hot Takes for imaginary Clout™ on this site is kind of pointless in the long run. Sure you can post solely for the sake of stirring shit and getting notes, but the majority of the folks who do aren’t long term residents of the fandom. They’re just tourists moving through our little beach town for spring break. If you’re actually intent on moving to this corner of the fandom for an extended stay, please bother to really feel out the permanent residents and understand the culture and general mood of the neighborhood. It bears no resemblance to whatever’s going on across town where all the bars and beach parities are happening, and those loud, drunken revelers are, again, gonna disappear back to their regular lives or on to the next party eventually. That doesn’t mean the fandom is dying, it’s just evolving.

(funny how I had several comments implying that I’m just trying to keep the fandom from evolving with this post, because I sincerely do want the fandom to continue on for years to come, and that is impossible without evolution. We can evolve without self-immolating, though. mostly i included point 1 for an excuse to push ancient but hilarious fanfic on you.)

2. Once you post something here, it’s been unleashed to the fandom winds. You never know where it will end up, or who will comment on it or add to it. Remember that time Misha tweeted the link to the Epic Cockles Love Story post? No? It was wild. That was 2012. They all know we’re here, and how to find us if they want to. Please don’t take it to their doorsteps.

Obviously if someone is being a dick on your posts, please feel free to block them, but the whole entire point of this site is to engage people with your posts. Being big mad that someone reblogged your post with comments or supporting evidence, or happy headcanons or “HECK THIS IS GREAT BECAUSE (insert personal story about their experience or whatever else made them Feel Things about your post)” is frankly ridiculous. If your goal is to avoid any sort of engagement with your posts, then maybe try instagram instead. From what I understand, there is a SPN fandom presence there, and nobody can tarnish your original posts with unwanted commentary. But the ability to reblog with additional commentary is a FEATURE of tumblr that builds community through conversation. Otherwise we’re all just talking to ourselves in a vacuum, and that’s what actually kills fandoms.

(and for the folks who just want to blog how they want to blog and don’t want people to engage on their posts at all, please feel free to block anyone you want, as well... nobody wants to step on your toes, but most of us also don’t want to walk on eggshells wondering if this post is one of the “do not add comments for any reason” sorts of posts, either. This is a huge fandom and most people can’t even begin to keep track of every creator and their url du jour, and what their personal rules might be regarding interaction with their content. Including a “please don’t add comments” note at the bottom of your posts-- and not in your tags that won’t even show up on reblogs, but in the actual body of the post-- would sincerely help avoid any awkward or unwanted interactions, too. At the end of the day, you are in control of your own fandom experience and the block button exists.

For the record, I block zero fandom blogs (which is why I posted this, I wanted it to reach a wide scope... refer to the opening paragraphs as to why).

3. Since this post was partly inspired by a tag I left on that post going around about how “previous tags” mean fuckall on this site (which you can read here), just a reminder that if you like someone’s tags or feel they add value to the post, part of the Peer Review structure of tumblr encourages you to PASTE THEM INTO A REBLOG. If you do this, then at least credit the person who actually wrote the tags! Don’t just copy someone else’s tags into your tags on your reblog of the post without credit either. They were not YOUR tags. (I have had this happen to tag rambles I wrote and someone else got credited with them on a subsequent reblog and it is FRUSTRATING). Just... don’t even bother to write “previous tags” because WHAT PREVIOUS TAGS?! Nobody is gonna bother to chase back the chain of reblogs trying to find where the mystery tags came from, friendos. That way lies madness.

(for the record, since some folks seemed to focus on this point solely, writing “previous tags” on a post isn’t inherently a BAD thing, but for anyone who actually is here for more than one-off shitposting, then it’s sort of a pointless thing in the long run. This wasn’t intended to suggest people who ARE here for one-off shitposting are bad or “doing it wrong,” but for people who might actually want to preserve that hilarious joke or insightful comment. People delete posts and entire blogs all the time around here. Links break. I get that the upcoming generation just shrugs at that and moves on with their lives, but heck... you don’t have to accept that all entertainment is disposable if you don’t want to. There’s a bizarre sort of nihilism plaguing us all about the impermanence of pretty much everything that feels like something we should be fighting against rather than buying into wholesale, even in our escapist entertainment. I’m just exhausted by the complete loss of joy in community.

*shouts from the peanut gallery* IT AIN’T THAT DEEP, JUST GET SOME FRESH AIR AND LOOK AT A PUPPY OR SOMETHING

Yes... yes it isn’t really that deep, but bigger picture in the state of reality we’re all entirely disillusioned with, are we supposed to just give up on everything, including the things we cling to because they bring us a tiny spark of hope that we’re not all just trapped in this dystopian nightmare and things might actually be worth living for?

*peanut gallery clinging to burnt husks of peanuts in a barren peanut field* but this is how we have chosen to cope

Okay... you do you... I feel bad for you but if that’s the case then this post is NOT FOR YOU. AND THAT’S FINE. I honestly do not care if you don’t care! I mean, I’m sorry anyone has to live in a world that drives them to that mindset, but I understand. This post is for anyone who might look at their lives and their choices and think “no wait, I unironically enjoy this and want more from the experience of that enjoyment than I’m currently feeling.” Everyone else can continue with their lives as usual.)

4. CONTENT THEFT IS NEVER OKAY. PERIOD. Things like “credit to the artist” or tagging gifs or images you found on pinterest as “not mine” isn’t actually credit. If you can’t source an image or gif set, DO NOT POST IT! We don’t REPOST (i.e. save an image and then create a new post with it as if it was our own creation). We REBLOG (click the little square arrows and reblog from the actual creator). That goes for gif sets, fanvids, screencaps, meta, fic... everything.

(hopefully everyone here already understands this one, but I felt compelled to include some “these are stupidly obvious” reminders anyway, since this is ostensibly some sort of advice column. This is the equivalent of the warning label on your toaster reminding you not to use it in the bath. Like... duh...)

5. Close kin of item 4 is SOURCE YOUR SHIT.

(for 100% disclosure purposes, I specifically discussed this one in this specific way because of an influx of anon ask messages I received in the wake of the finale. Literally the inciting incident for creating this entire post was what I can only assume was a joking ask about a comment Misha made at a con years ago. Someone actually bothered to take the time to type out those sentences to me. I have no idea what they were expecting in reply, or what could possibly motivate them to send this comment about something so entirely random from, again, several years ago. Just a joke? No idea, but whatever... it got me thinking that there might actually be people who are new to the fandom who MIGHT actually care about the fandom history, and maybe they just don’t know where to go for that info, or how to even begin searching through 16 years of history for things they might actually find enjoyment in, rather than just hauling random out of context garbage out on main and pointing and laughing about it now. People are actually allowed to care about things. It’s not cringeworthy to actually care about things, and you are not alone in actually caring, and there’s this whole big room over here full of people who are thrilled to share in that with you. This post is intended FOR THOSE PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY, so if that is not you, please just continue walking by.)

Yes, I know lots of y’all are new around here right now, but dredging up stuff from years ago that fandom has completely debunked and presenting it as TRU FAX again is just exhausting. We’re not trying to be party poopers, but seriously, we have seen it all and are mostly done with extinguishing bags of flaming dog poop on our front porches for the umpteenth year in a row. I’ve seen a lot of posts that have the same tone as “I saw Goody Proctor dancing with the devil” or “I heard kylo ren has an eight pack” and just... the information is there for anyone who cares enough to find it.

This goes double for “why is nobody talking about this thing I just discovered while watching the show for the first time?!” And, oh hon, we have talked it all into the ground over the last fifteen years. We’re happy you’re discovering it again, but I promise we talked about it plenty when the episodes originally aired. We have such a rich meta history that lots of us have worked really hard to preserve. I encourage you to seek it out, if nothing else than as historical artifacts. The way we have discussed the show has been a 16-year evolution. People have written literal doctoral dissertations on this show. Your shitposts are fun! We love reliving our own experience through fresh eyes, and seeing your wonder at experiencing it all again for the first time! But y’all didn’t invent this fandom in the last six months, either.

Meta Sources and Minerals provided by our friendly neighborhood fandom archivist, @lets-steal-an-archive

Academic books and articles about SPN

A collection of Meta Essays going back to s1 and organized by topic (all of this has happened before, all of it will happen again)

SPN Heavy Meta Archive (s1-3)

Mel’s Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-12)

Oranges8hands Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-15, with many similar entries to Mel’s... though ymmv on viewpoint in a lot of these too)

Anyone remember Fandom Wank? Not the concept but the actual LJ... No? Okay have a link to SPN topics that ended up there. Through 2013. We have seen so much... including several fandom containment breaches.

for all your art sourcing needs, please see @theroadsofararchive, the repository for so much fandom art.

need to find a gif of something? canonspngifs is a vast repository of gifsets of the entire series. If the gif you want to use in your post happens to be the first gif in the gifset, in the tumblr gif finder thingy just paste the permalink to that post from canonspngifs (which is easily searchable by episode, character, location, situation, quotes, and sometimes even color and clothing items the actors are wearing... it’s really well organized, especially for tumblr >.>) and the first gif will be automatically linked with credit to the gif creator attached. It makes life easy that way. It’s also convenient when trying to remember something specific but can’t remember what episode it’s from. I’ve used the site to jog my memory before going to the superwiki armed with more specific search results to find episode quotes and references. Or sometimes I just scroll through all the nice gifs for fun, too.

Need a screencap of something and know exactly which episode it’s from? Try Home of the Nutty. You might not find the exact screencap you’re looking for, but they have a complete set of caps of every episode, and it’s an incredibly useful resource for quick reference checks and the like. Just give pages a chance to fully load before clicking on the next one. The site is easily overloaded, but it’s still free to use (and again, with credit... Pretty much every screencap on my entire blog is from HotN unless otherwise credited).

As you can see, this is a fandom built on preserving our history. You absolutely are not required to engage with any of this if that’s not of interest to you, but I can only assume that there are people who would be interested in it if only they knew it existed and how to find it. Well, now they do.

6. A few more notes on tags, and how they work on tumblr. The first 20 tags on your ORIGINAL posts are searchable sitewide, so if you want to be able to find something again, tag that thing first before going on general tag rambles. The only place tags on reblogs are searchable is on your own blog. So you don’t have to put 50 tags trying to get a post seen if it’s a reblog. You’re just spitting into the wind at that point. If you have a filing system for finding things again, then by all means add those tags (again, in the first 20, so they’re searchable), but you don’t need to tag a reblog “destiel” and “deancas” and “dean” and “cas” and “dean x cas” or whatever. Pick one for your personal blog’s filing system, that’s all you need.

(this was only added because tagging and searching on this site is so very broken... I get that a lot of folks don’t care about ever searching their own blogs again for anything, so this one only really applies if you do often find yourself trying to find old posts. If not, then it’s not really relevant. It took me years to work out a decent tagging system, and at the beginning of my time here I never thought I’d end up camping out here for a decade and falling this deep into the fandom, and I regretted my lack of consistent tags only years later when I realized I actually wanted to be able to go back and find specific old posts again. So... for anyone who wants to err on the side of caution, working out a sensible tagging system really helps if you’re here for the long term. I personally tag content by episode, because some of my other general tags are so large as to be practically useless as a search term. But whatever system you choose to file stuff on your own blog, it really only has to make sense to you. And again, if this is pointless advice for someone who has no intention of settling here for the long term. Please feel free to ignore it. I just wish someone had explained it this way to me ten years ago and saved me the hassle of retroactively tagging something like 30k posts... especially now that using the mass tag replacer is the fastest way to get your entire blog deleted... oops? so yeah, don’t use the mass tag replacer either >.>)

7. Tags on Tumblr DO NOT WORK LIKE TAGS ON TWITTER. If you @ someone in the body of the post, it will show up in their notifications (if they’re the sort of person who even checks their notifications... not all of us do. For the record, I generally don’t...), but putting actor or ship names in the tags on a tumblr post does absolutely nothing. It’s not the same as tagging the actor’s twitter account in a tweet. Nobody’s getting notifications about you tagging a post about Jensen here as “Jensen Ackles.” There is a difference. Please learn it. (and don’t take headcanons and ESPECIALLY RPF or otherwise explicit art or fic from tumblr to twitter and tag the actors in it. That’s just... not okay.)

(I have seen the pearl clutchers getting all in a huff about the mere existence of RPF or even explicit content of fictional characters if it doesn’t meet their purity standards, but tagging those things allows people who don’t want to see it to actively avoid that content here. Nobody has a right to tell people their fictional content shouldn’t exist at all, or that creators of that fictional content somehow deserve harassment or threats for having dared to create such “immoral” content, won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children... and no... you do not do that here. Don’t be the problematic behavior you wish to ban from the world. Learn to use tags to protect yourself from, as i have attempted to emphasize here, fictional content you are personally upset by. That’s a you problem, not a problem for the creators of potentially upsetting content that they tag appropriately for.)

8. General formatting stuff: If you’re writing long text posts, visually break them up so people aren’t faced with one long wall of text. The enter key is your friend. Also, if you put long text posts under a Read More break and send people to your blog to finish reading, please ensure that your blog is actually visually accessible (tiny text, or light grey text on a dark grey background, or a visually busy background might be aesthetically pleasing to you but nobody can actually read it. Loads of folks won’t even try. Which is great if you don’t actually care whether people are able to appreciate your content or not, but something to at least consider if you *do* actively want to encourage engagement with your work. Confirm how your blog looks on both mobile and desktop and make sure it’s actually functional in both, too).

And since I mentioned that most of my experience on fandom tumblr has been in the SPN fandom, here’s a bit of a reminder for folks who are new around here. With the reminder that I have been here more than a decade and still feel like a newbie myself sometimes...

This is an OLD FANDOM. There are many, many people who have been at this longer than some of you have been alive. The average age for creators in this fandom is older than you think (I think of my friends in their 30′s as young’ins okay? okay). With that understood, you are responsible for the content you consume and are exposed to. Curate your experience. Ship and let ship. YKINMKATOK. Don’t deliberately expose yourself to content you find upsetting for whatever reason. Tags and warnings are your friends, not targets for you to attack in some sort of purity war. People will ship things you do not like (or in specific ways you do not like), will say things you do not agree with, and will find their happiness in things you abhor. That is not your concern. Find what you do like, and support and engage with it, and ignore (or block, or unfollow) the rest. Tumblr has a feature that lets you blacklist tags so the content you’re trying to avoid won’t appear on your dash.

Remember the paradox of tolerance.

It is not your job in fandom to police how other people enjoy the fandom. It’s not *my* job to police how *you* enjoy the fandom, UNLESS your enjoyment is in actively harming other real human beings in the fandom. If you don’t like their take on the character or the show or the plotlines or their ships or anything else, you don’t need to engage with their posts at all! The necessary corollary to this is that clarifying misunderstandings or correcting factual misinformation is not “policing.”

(this is where the peanut gallery reminds me it ain’t that deep, and I plead with them to put down the social media and find just one (1) thing to actually believe in in this godforsaken life, find something other than disdain and cynicism and spite to live for. If those things motivate you to find a larger cause for yourself, then great, use them to your advantage, but use them to find something that makes you a better person or brings you a modicum of joy and connection to your fellow human beings despite living in a dystopian hellscape of a world)

I have seen a lot of posts lately that are founded on the sort of authority that comes with “I watched through tumblr for a few months and then watched the last three episodes of the series” and as such are just... missing the larger context of the entire show, and are unfounded entirely in canon. I 100% appreciate the new enthusiasm for the fandom that we’ve been living in here for years, and it’s wonderful to see new people enjoying the thing we love. Your headcanons are valid, you are valid, but recognize that your headcanons aren’t canon. All of us finale denialists have accepted this in some measure, so we feel you. We truly, truly feel you. But regarding actual canon, we have a resource for that: the Superwiki. Learn it, live it, love it, as Metatron would say.

(which you could discover he said in 10.17 Inside Man, thanks to the superwiki! accept no substitutes!)

(and again, there have been people who have been involved in fandom for years who haven’t engaged with canon in years, either! You can play in this universe however you choose, BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT CANON AT ALL, WHICH I AM AGAIN POINTEDLY SAYING MIGHT NOT BE YOU, READER, AND I’M NOT SUGGESTING YOU ARE WRONG FOR NOT WANTING TO ACTUALLY ENGAGE WITH CANON, but if you DO want to engage with canon, please have some useful resources. Why do people feel personally attacked by being presented a list of helpful resources? Absolutely baffling.)

(also: words have definitions. “Canon” is a specific thing, meaning in this case “the finished media product that aired on television.” Anything beyond those limits is secondary canon (think: john’s journal, which is not canon but canon adjacent at best...), word of god (i.e stuff said by the writers and showrunners), or headcanon (which includes actor commentary-- they may have helped create the show with their acting choices and whatever, but they are not in control of the story overall). If there’s something you dislike about actual canon, you can reject it and supplement it with your own theories or preferred outcomes-- that’s basically what fanfic is-- but that doesn’t make your theories canon (much to all our dismay, that’s just not how any of this works. This is not to invalidate how anyone engages with the show or the fandom, just trying to clarify what seems to have been a source of unintentional misunderstandings. Your theories do not have to be “canon” to be legitimate interpretations.)

***I am setting this section apart, and did make a separate post of just this following information, because this is where we go from being relatively chill about different parts of fandom choosing to interact in different ways and you do you and blog however you want, to “hey can everybody please understand that the way you are interacting with this specific material might be harmful for specific legal reasons, and stating that you do not care about the consequences of your actions does actively make you the asshole here...” Okay, now that we have that understood:

The spnscripthunt collective has been steadily acquiring new scripts (which are posted in full on the superwiki for everyone to enjoy, for free). The language around how some folks are talking about these scripts is... concerning. For very real legal reasons, actually, and not because we’re feeling precious about the collection and don’t wike it when meanies use them in shitposts.

-First off, these scripts are not “leaks.” They are all verified and legally purchased (or gifted, in some cases, but still acquired entirely above board. we didn’t whack anyone over the head in a back alley for these scripts, or swipe them out of someone’s trailer on set).

(in case anyone was unaware, these scripts are the copywritten protected property of Warner Brothers. So yes, how we use them and share them with the fandom could have legal repercussions. We present them as a collected resource of fandom history which SHOULD fall under Fair Use doctrine, but this is untested legal water. Insinuating that the scripts are somehow not entirely legally obtained, or that posting them for public access involved less than 100% transparent and entirely legal transactions is incredibly concerning.

Once again for the peanut gallery, if you don’t care about any of that and are just having a good time with it, at least be mindful of the work and expense a large group of people have gone through to acquire and present the content you’re all too eager to exploit for cheap thrills. Some of us do actually care and are not exactly comfortable with the fact that others don’t seem to care about burning it all to the ground. We can’t force you to listen or behave as we’d hope you might, but at least be aware of the potential consequences of your actions. All we’re asking is for you to not be the douchebag who sets the whole neighborhood on fire with your illegal fireworks display. Is that too much to ask for? more on that in a second, first... a psa)

-If you see a script for sale and are unsure if it’s legit (or believe it might already be freely available in our collection), please feel free to ask us for advice. Our goal is to make as much of our fandom history available to the entire fandom, and we absolutely do not want anyone shelling out money for stuff you can already find for free.

(seriously, we’ve seen a bunch of resellers cropping up selling printed versions of the scripts we bought and uploaded for everyone to enjoy free of charge, or scripts that are otherwise of dubious origin. We’ve been at this for years now and know what’s actually out there. We don’t want anyone to fall for a scam if we can help it)

-Also, the usual reminder that the scripts we acquire ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE FINAL SHOOTING DRAFTS. In fact, the majority of scripts in our collection are NOT. Changes are made daily to scripts, even during filming. Comparing a Production Draft (white pages, effectively the first “final draft” of what usually becomes a series of drafts before filming wraps) to a much later revision (say... green or goldenrod revisions, several of which we DO have in our collection for comparison) and how those earlier drafts often differ wildly from the aired version versus how similar a much later green draft is to the aired version, for example, can teach you a lot about the television writing process. The link above to the superwiki scripts page has a nice little explainer about how this process works.

Differences between our posted scripts (many of which are white drafts, aka FIRST complete drafts, which will likely go through multiple rounds of revisions before filming even begins) and the aired version of the show are not all “acting choices” or a director or editor just cutting whole scenes on a whim. It’s insulting to everyone involved in production to suggest that’s the case.

(and yeah, fine... whatever, make any sort of posts you like regarding how those changes came about, but at the very least understand that it’s not actually the truth about how any of this works. Don’t care that that’s not the truth and want to make the posts anyway because shitposting is fun and that’s the extent of your sense of humor? FINE! You’re entitled to do that! But at least you DO know the truth now, and hopefully so do the people who engage with your posts. Deliberate ignorance isn’t cute, smooth lions notwithstanding)

There’s probably a whole other post to be made on fandom tagging etiquette, but again I don’t really use the tags enough to know what’s going on with that whole situation. I’ve also probably left a lot of stuff out, so please feel free to add things I’ve overlooked.

Thanks also to @trisscar368 and @thayerkerbasy for help compiling this, too. They were kind enough to escort me through the park to feed these pigeons. Now I need to take them out for ice cream. :’D

So I guess welcome to the neighborhood. Make yourself at home, but like... try not to trash the place while you’re here. Some of us live here by choice, lol.

#this blue hellsite (affectionate)#fandom problems #kinda wish i'd made this post six months ago but here we are i guess lol #long post #now edited for the people who are actually personally invested in the fandom #thanks for participating in this little experiment and I hope this version is actually informative to those who are interested #meaning there's a lot more links to stuff and explainers and whatnot...#and one last reminder that for folks just swinging through for laughs absolutely none of this applies to you #if you are legit interested in fandom history and preservation as we move to the post-canon world then hopefully this is useful to you

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prof-peach · 3 years

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Hi there! I wanted to ask you a question regarding my Nincada. We're doing a lot of research to prepare for her evolution (Ninjask can be feisty!), and I ran across the "spirit-stealing" rumors about Shedinja. Everywhere I've looked people are arguing about how often a Shedinja appears, whether they can actually steal spirits, and how to care for them. My Pokecenter isn't communicating with me very well on this, can you help?

so Shedinja are a pokemon many scientists have a lot of conversations about, and the current theory about their existence and how they manifest is built around their pre-evolutions love and need to protect its friends and/or family.

when a Nincada evolves it ALWASY leaves behind a shell, a shed skin, its usually discarded, lifeless, just a husk of its former body, and it becomes Ninjask. no issues, normal evolution as far as they go. However, this changes when the Nincada has a great deal of want and need to protect its family/loved ones. some people suggest to get many pokemon in your team so that your Nincada can bond to some, or all of them and gain this need, the fuel to their fire so to speak. Their discarded husk upon evolution will fill with the pokemons excess overflowing energy, its desires to protect bringing the shell itself to life, changing its form to be its very own pokemon.

You end up with both Ninjask and Shedinja, the Ninjask being filled with mostly the fighting spirit, the need to fend off opponnents, and the Shedinja who is in theory the Nincada’s want to protect and shield those it loves.

like I said this is all relatively new theories that seem to be quite functional, and upon testing work rather well. If your pokemon evolves with the desire to protect you heavily, even though they may be an only-pokemon, theres a good chance they could still fill their discarded husk with excess energy should they be bonded to you well enough.

in short, love is stored in the Shedinja.

As for them stealing spirits, nah they cant do that, though their body emits a fair bit of carbon, so sticking your head in them will cause you to black out, and if left inside you’ll probably choke out and die sure. I feel like the smart thing to do is just...not stick your head inside a pokemon’s body.

both like a good shine up with a microfiber cloth and some beeswax, natrual and anti-fungal/anti bacterial so its pretty good for them, too dry and they have a hard time moving so misting them if its super hot or really arid weather helps, and every 2-3 years Ninjask will shed their skin, shedinja will not. Just like every living thing they have a lifespan, so ware and tear is to be expected over the years. Ninjask last around 40 years with regular shedding and a good diet, Shedinja around 70 without, but they do get tatty and slower as they get along in their years. Their ghostly energy will repair damage but only for so long.

Shedinja actually don’t eat, they collect dew in the early mornings on their shells, and use that natural mineral rain water to hydrate and sustain themselves. They don’t need for solids, BUT i’ve found they may harbour a lot of love for natural fruit juices, especially of the fruits they use to love as a little Nincada. Mist them with the juice for a treat IF they seem interested. Give them a rinse off after, or you’ll have a lot of fruit fly following them all day which is annoying, and no one really likes being sticky right? A wet damp cloth works just fine for this. Test it with a small amount, and you can mix the fresh juices with water in a mister to start and see if they like it.

hope this is informative, shouldn't have a lot of issues, they're pretty robust pokemon.

#pokemon #prof.peach #nincada #ninjask #Shedinja #peach talks #i love these pokemon so much

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writingtoforgetreality · 3 years

Text

Springing Forward (Helmut Zemo x Reader)

Request: hey there cathy! i’m a new follower and i was wondering if i might request a zemo x reader where it’s maybe pre ultron and reader’s family own a flower shop in sokovia and somehow through that they meet? idk i know it’s super random but i’ve got spring fever 😂 (by @msmarvelsmain), [Marvel-Masterlist]

Summary: Your family owned a little flower shop. You assisted every now & then. One day, your parents had departed for a while, a man entered the store & changed your life forever.

Words: 3,255

Warnings: fluff, soft!Zemo, it is so sweet, I promise, pretty sure I didn't use any pronouns :), no TFATWS spoilers (you’re welcome), (Y/F/F) = your favorite flowers, REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Spring was your favorite season of the year. Flowers started blossoming. Nature turned colorful again. Lush hues decorated the outsides. Your family owned a petite shop in the central of downtown in Sokovia. The store was your whole pride & joy. The façade was stacked with uneven, light grey cobblestones. The sign on top of the glass door was illuminated with a warm & congenial light. While you did not have that many guests, your regular customers supported you continuously. Helping out your parents had never bothered you. It was a family business. Your assistance was appreciated & the local citizens enjoyed whenever you served them.

Plants & flowers were your hobby. Somehow, they grew when you tended to them. You managed to flourish almost dead ones. That was one of your skills. Your handling with the people who visited your shop left a good impression. The earnings were not a fortune but you made do. The smiles of your pleased customers were enough to balance that out. Not even once had you been bad-tempered. If something bothered you, then you suppressed that negativity for the sake of your reputation. After all, it never had anything to do with the shop itself.

The mornings were your favorites. When the rest of the town was still fast asleep & the birds slowly awakened with rhythmical chirps. The slight breeze that touched your skin tenderly. The goosebumps erupting where your clothes did not cover you. Yet, you abandoned the thought of pulling over a jacket. As the hours ticked by, the sun would amplify, leaving you content with your tenuous t-shirt. Your parents had left town for relaxation. The shop would be solely yours for the upcoming days. Your little apartment was not far away from your workplace. The short walks back & forth were forever welcomed. During your lunch break, if your job & the weather allowed you that, you wandered through the narrow backstreets. Every corner was familiar but the small details that frequently transformed always fascinated you anew.

Years ago, you loathed leaving the country you were born in to start a new life here in Sokovia. Your parents were incomprehensibly overstrained with your whim that seemed to worsen daily. Friends were abandoned in the process of moving. The beginning in a foreign area was strenuous. Not only did it take a toll on you but on your parents as well. The loan enabled your family’s dream of owning their own shop. Independence was an indescribable feeling. Ever since, your fondness of this place had been increasing steadily. And while you would not exactly say that you had friends here, you definitely made a few acquaintances. Friendships would follow sooner or later. Besides, your work consumed almost all of your time. You lived to work & you worked to live. It was as simple as that. Your lifestyle functioned like that. It was exhausting, sometimes excessive, but you handled it just fine. Still, every now & then, you found yourself craving something. What that particular something was had yet to be discovered.

The delightful ringing of the bell whenever someone entered your shop reached your ears. It was early in the morning. Usually, the first costumers rolled in closer to lunch time. Not that you were complaining. Your body spun around, your apron getting stuck on an infinitesimal bump standing out of your oak wooden counter. Silent curses left your lips, too quiet for the stranger to hear. The struggles were noticeable & a presence approached you. You had yet to glance at the person but your delicate hands were busy with fiddling the fabric.

“May I?” a soft, accented voice spoke up & startled you slightly. Your eyes flickered up & locked with warm, chocolate brown ones. For a few moments, time stopped. Your heartbeat sped up. Something about this simple interaction let sparks burst. And when his lips turned into a gentle smile, you were gone for. Never before had something similar occurred. Especially not that quickly. It was obvious that you were staring a little too intensively. But his eyes did not leave yours, lingering just for a fraction longer. He had asked you a question. As an owner, you completely failed your task. You neither welcomed him in nor did you engage in a conversation. Coughing to hide the embarrassment, you averted your gaze & began.

“Welcome. Um, I’d really appreciate your help, thank you.” your voice wavered but it did not crack. His hands, covered by leather gloves, stretched out & he initiated the process of freeing you. The thick material that hid his fingers was offbeat. Average people tended to avoid gloves during this season. It was warm enough without them. Then again, this stranger did not strike you as average. This brief meeting was proof enough.

“There you go.” he commented after successfully liberating you. “As good as new.” he radiated a feeling that made you believe he was a well-spoken man. You were unsure how exactly you ended up with that conclusion.

“Thank you.” both of your hands reached to the hem of your apron, glancing down at it, checking for possible damages. But, as he alleged, it was perfectly fine. Another moment of silence went by, then you slowly returned to reality. You occupied your according place behind the counter. Back straightened & regained composure. “Apologies for my unprofessional behavior. I will ensure you a discount for your purchase. Right…what did you need?” your rambling was mortifying. Hiding your emotions was not necessarily one of your skilled characteristics.

“Please, do not bother with special treatments.” one of his hands raised in front of his chest, signaling that he was being serious. It did not change that, deep down, you felt poorly. “I was actually looking for…” a chuckle interrupted his speech. “I am uncultured regarding this area, truthfully. If you offer me your assistance now then the two of us are even.” the following wink made you all giddy. What was it about him?

“Okay, well…” your previous painstakingness was pushed down. “What is the occasion?” it was always surprising to gain new customers. His accent betrayed him a little. And what a sweet betrayal it was.

“A decisive meeting with a higher up. An efficient first impression would be convenient.” he enlightened you, choosing his words carefully. Well-spoken he was but that was manifested from the very beginning.

“Any preferred colors, types?” one of your eyebrows perked up. Moving your body around the counter & in the middle of the modest shop, you reacted unwillingly after brushing past his frame. Your shoulder barely grazing but enough to trigger uneven breaths.

“How does a common purchase for such an event look like?” you peered over your shoulder, a bit of amusement written over your features. While he appeared like a literate man, ten times wiser than you, this was a field you surpassed with ease. A quick glimpse on your forearm, where a barely functioning watch swathed your wrist caressingly, confirmed your previous assumption. There was still a load of time left until the shop’s actual occupation. You could bestow him your aggregate attention. The unnamed stranger absorbed your every word of your explanation. Your eyes sparkled with a newly witnessed enthusiasm. The fact that he did not heckle your talk during the entirety of your tour through the shop brought you desired satisfaction. He was the first person to display genuine interest in your employment.

“God, please excuse me trailing off. I did not intend to bore you.” all of a sudden, your energetic self switched to an insecure one.

“I can assure you that you did not bore me. Not for one second.” his affirming smile calmed your incertitude. Together, the two of you picked up various individual flowers. A compiled bouquet would portray him in the best light. Your hands moved on their own. You could still hold a conversation with the man on the other end of the wooden table. It separated the back of the shop from the front, main area. His fascination for you expanded by every further move you performed. Lastly, you wrapped the ends of the stems with a fine, almost sheer paper. To secure everything & hold it in place, you braided a ribbon that matched the color of the textile.

“All done.” you showcased the finished product to him, a small, gratified smile adorning your face. “What do you think?” the question was almost shy, it needed reassurance. Which made him ponder why you were so doubtful of yourself & your abilities. To him, you prepared the most gorgeous bouquet he had ever caught a sight of.

“Plainly astonishing.” his praise warmed you from deep within. “You really do have an unbelievable talent.” you thanked him quietly, eyes flickering down to avoid his intense stare. By no means was it displeasing or inadvertent. It was sweet & thoughtful. You wanted to extend his stay, fearing that this would be a one-time interaction. But you could not remain on this high you were currently experiencing. The sound of the entrance bell fetched you back to the present. Another customer that needed attendance. Your togetherness approached an undesirable end. Controlled fingers punched a well-rehearsed pattern into the cash register. The blue numbers flashed for the man in the coat to see. Gloves & a fur-coat during spring? He was the only living soul you had ever met that made it work.

A wallet was pulled out of his pocket. Fine fingers retrieved the money. A beat went by. Two. Almost like he wanted to savor the little time you two had left. But your duties called. He would not use up any more of your duration. Maybe he had already overstepped & his appearance was no longer welcomed or appropriate. The notes were handed over. Your movements like a slow motion scene in your favorite movie. The scenery grasping your every bit of attentiveness. It was something you wanted to remember. To think back & hope to perceive that same feeling you experienced during the first time. You reached for it. The moment his clothed hand touched your smooth skin stilled the world once again. The gentle brush of his thumb over the back of your hand could have been missed if it was not for your body to be this alerted.

“Thank you for your exceedingly helpful guidance, …?” his eyes looked up at you sheepishly. You knew what he was intending. It was a silent question for your name. And you were more than eager to comply.

“(Y/N).” it was short, adequate. His smirk held a deeper meaning. What it was exactly, you could not identify.

“Why, thank you, (Y/N).” his emphasis was on your name. The way it rolled from his tongue was mesmerizing. You found yourself craving to hear that sound constantly. But you were not even sure if it was naïve to hope for his return. He would exit any second. Leaving behind a pit only he could fill. Your train of thought converted into utter despair. He was your customer. Nothing more. Nothing less.

“You never told me your name.” you called out when he was almost out of the door. One last time, he glanced over his shoulder. The fur tickling his chin a bit. One last time, you studied the way his lips lifted. One last time, you believed.

“Helmut.” he replied. “It was nice meeting you.” his hand pushed the door open. His body moved through the doorway. As fast as he entered your life, he left just as quickly.

“You too.” you whispered but he was no longer here to listen to your words. Your face fell, the previous spark in your eyes completely gone. The person in front of you waited until you paid all of your attention to them. It took a lot of effort but you managed in the end. The only difference was that they were not him. Nobody would ever be him again. But he vanished. Like dust in the wind, blowing away his remaining scent that had filled your nostrils.

Was it possible to crave a person you barely knew? Your subconscious sprinkled salt in your wound. Brains could be ridiculous. Nonsense. The teasing of your dreams, in the dark of the calm night, was echoing. Ricocheting off the walls that kept your emotions buried inside. Similar to being the main character in a horror film, desperately looking for a way out but being trapped no matter what. Why were you reacting like that? Why did Helmut waltz into your shop without any restrictions, turning your entire life, your entire world, upside down? He was one mysterious man. Uncommon, remarkable. Someone who swept you off your feet by simply being. One charming smile & you were gone for. The first words he directed to you & he gained you wholly. The worst part of it all was that he had no idea what he did to you. He had no idea that your thoughts were solely revolving around him ever since his entrance to the store. His entrance to your heart. What was happening to you? You had to move on, that much was clear. Truth was, you abominated that thought. Your focus had to shift. Back to your work, back to your task.

The following day started off with a bad mood. Certainly, the upcoming hours would be draining. You could not allow the shop’s closure. Not even for a day. Your family’s existence depended on it. Everything was the same. Chirping birds, a cool breeze, a short walk. The peacefulness before customers visited. Yet, everything was not the same at all. Because there was this nagging feeling inside of you & you knew you could not get rid of it. The ringing sound caught you off guard. It was unusual. Only once had someone entered this early in the mornings. And this one time was yesterday. Your shock was visible. Helmut’s presence was unexpected but definitely not unsought.

“Helmut?” your voice was an octave higher. The excitement emitting from you.

“Good morning, (Y/N).” he strutted closer to you. The same gloves, the same coat. The same offbeat & arcane man.

“What brings you here today?” your head tilted, trying to find a possible explanation for his return. “Wait. Was the bouquet improper?” immediately, thousands of dark, negative thoughts were rushing through you. You did your very best with the flower’s arrangement. Never before had you spent this much time & effort.

“No, not at all.” one of his hands raised & rested on your shoulder, squeezing the tiniest bit. You had to take a deep breath in order to stay calm. As calm as it was possible with him around. “The exact opposite. Which is why I am here again. Could you assist me once more?”

“Of course. What were you envisioning? Who are the flowers for?” your elbows propped onto the countertop, gazing lovingly into his orange shining brown eyes.

“I meant to ask for your favorites. You strike me as one with fantastic taste.” Helmut certainly had a way with words. No matter what he said, you found yourself captivated by him. The topic could be dreary but he made it sound fascinating.

“My favorites? It’s tough to choose one when there are so many stunning options.” you quieted down for a few seconds to really contemplate your answer. It was flattering that he asked for your opinion. “If you make me pick then I’d say…hmm, probably (Y/F/F).”

“Perfect. I would like to purchase a bouquet then.” right away, you got to work. Helmut watched your skilled hands. His enthusiasm only died down when he saw the frown forming on your face. “What is it?”

“Huh?” you were in your thoughts. His question was almost missed by you.

“That frown. Where is it coming from?” only Helmut could be so straight forward about such a small detail he had noticed. Would you tell him the truth? You should not. He did not need to know that your mood turned sour because he bought more flowers. This time, he did not let you know about the purpose of them. Another dinner with a higher up? Highly unlikely. But not entirely impossible. You assumed he would gift them to a woman. Hence why you sidestepped his question masterly.

“I believe it happens when I’m focused on my task.” you hoped your smile was reassuring but Helmut saw right through you. In the end, he did not comment on it. There was a building tension between you two. This time around, there were no lingering touches. He left the shop once again & it was clear that this was it. Helmut would not come back again. And maybe it was for the better. Your heart was too fragile to be crushed by his bare hands. It was not fair to blame basically a stranger. He had a life you had no insight on. But the aching could not be ignored.

Just as you wanted to lock the door to your shop for your lunch break, a voice reached your ears, followed by hurried footsteps. Turning around to look for the cause of it, you were shocked for a second time today. It was Helmut. The same bouquet he had purchased earlier clasped in one of his hands. The other one balanced two cups of coffee. As much as you wanted to withhold your smile, it was inevitable to repress.

“(Y/N)!” he was slightly out of breath. “I expected you were gone already.”

“Good that your expectation was wrong.” the warmth that filled your body was endearing.

“Here.” he handed you the flowers & your eyebrows furrowed. “For you.” he explained further when you made no move to reach for them.

“Why?” you inquired but grabbed the bouquet from him anyway. His posture relaxed & the grip on the cups was more secure.

“May I invite you on a walk through the town?” he suggested shyly. “I brought you coffee. I do hope it is after your liking?” the last part was a question. A sign that he doubted himself the slightest.

“I’m sure it’ll be delightful.” you eased his mind immediately. The cup was placed in your other hand. “Could you wait here for a minute? I should put them in a vase.” he motioned for you to go ahead. Your heart was doing backflips. It all fell into place now. You pieced everything together. He asked for your favorite flowers earlier today because he intended to give them to you. His plan was to spend your lunch break together. Helmut really went out of his way for you. His efforts were mellow. Returning outside once again, he patiently stood in the same spot. The softness of his features were rare on a man like him. You had met people similar to him but he was different. Helmut was that type of many who bought you flowers & made time to spend more with you.

You knew the town by heart. So did Helmut. But exploring the beautiful spots together felt like you were espying every corner, every building, for the very first time. Conversation flowed easily. Laughter was shared, loving glances were exchanged. He gave you a feeling of belonging. Like you were supposed to be right here from the very beginning. It felt right. With a man like him on your side, your life quality would finally improve. Helmut would be the one to quench your cravings. And you would not want it any other way.

Published (05/04/2021) by Cathy

✨MY Ko-fi PAGE✨

Tags: @takacsgram, @hiddlestoner-cumberbitch, @bibliophilewednesday, @yallgotkik, @noavengers, @lieutenantn, @birdieofloxley, @aisling1985, @trelaney, @sebastian-stan-d-on-my-throat, @thewinterrbucky, @loveinthemadness, @princess-yuna (thanks for your support <3)

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jjofalltrades · 3 years

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Thanks to @welt-verbessererin for the creation of this particular scene. She posted several images in the discord, followed by @thatsaysalotalotalot who posted Joe in his white shirt. I had no other choice but to write a scene for my current GBB fic, The Art of War.

Professor Stark hesitated at his classroom door before resolving whatever was on her mind and confidently strolled inside. He could never decide if she wanted to pick a fight with him or not. Did she enjoy their debates as much as he? Had he taken it too far during their last round? It was apparent she avoided him on purpose afterward. Maybe he was wrong and should have kept their discourse purely academic. No matter what brought her to his doorstep, the conversation would prove anything but dull.

Gendry stood from his desk and walked around to lean against the front. He plucked one of the apples from a cute bunny basket Shireen dropped off earlier. As she approached, he wiped the red skin of the apple against his black dress trousers. Professor Stark paused when he produced a pocket knife from the side of his belt. Again, he got the distinct impression she was battling some unknown voice in her head—the voice of reason, perhaps? When she surmised it was nothing more than a regular boring blade, her attention wandered elsewhere.

He followed the professor's gaze as she glanced around the empty classroom. Would it be awkward to debate without the attention—supervision, according to Shireen—of an audience? Gendry slid the sharp edge of the knife into the apple's thick red skin. The sound of his movement echoed off the walls, which eventually caught the brunette's curiosity. He decided he liked having her eyes on him. Though, her usual stormy greys were calmer today. Would she surprise him with her sharp tongue, competing with the knife for his undivided regard?

"I have a large block," he slid the apple slice off of his thumb and into his mouth. Her eyes widened ever-so-slightly as she watched him with a studious concentration that would be Miss Mormont to shame. Gendry gestured to the empty desks with his chin. "Between classes. On Fridays. Shireen drops off some homemade goodies since I tend to forget to eat."

"Wh-" the professor blinked, rapidly bringing herself out of her deep, mysterious thoughts. What was she thinking about so hard? "Uh, oh. Oh! I'm intruding on your lunch-"

"You're not intruding," Gendry interrupted, beyond giddy in this change of behavior. This new aspect of their relation excited him and urged the engineer to explore how far they could go. Still, the sudden off-balance of their dynamic didn't feel quite right. Gendry enjoyed it when both were equally measured in wit and banter, and something was different. He might have made a joke about Invasion of the Body Snatchers if he didn't think it was so cute.

Another red slice slid into his mouth, and her eyes dropped to his mouth. He'd be lying if he said the action didn't go straight downward. Did he have something on his face? "Don't you have lunch with Rickon?"

Some of the juice trickled down his palm, and it made its way towards the cuffs of his white dress shirt. Shireen would not be pleased he couldn't make it a whole day without getting dirty. Gendry bit into the apple, holding it hostage while he fiddled with the cufflinks. Suddenly, a very warm body popped up on his radar. Stark stood closer, retrieving the knife. He cursed the strong smell of the crisp fruit, clogging almost all his senses.

"You'll poke yourself," she whispered as she waited for him to finish rolling up his sleeves. He mumbled a thanks behind the apple, the sound making her smile. The sparkle in her greys returned, and she clasped her hands in the back. "Ah, if only I knew that's all it took to keep you semi-quiet," the professor laughed, looking up at him like...he didn't know what to make of her expression. "And, yes, I was on my way to see Rickon. He called and told me about the scholarship."

Gendry rolled his eyes, extracting the apple now that his sleeves were safe. His tongue found the excess juice that had cascaded down past his wrist. "I'm motivation-oriented," he shrugged before offering one of his famous roguish smirks. "Put my mouth to work, and I can't backtalk nearly as much," Gendry watched as heat flooded her cheeks. Taking a risk, he stepped forward, then reached behind Stark for his pocketknife. "What are you doing here?"

As usual, they fought for dominance, and this time it was who won the possession of the blade. Gendry may have been the stronger of the two, but the tiny brunette proved to be quicker. She ducked underneath his arms, taking a step to the left. Stark dangled the knife in front of him before tricking him by changing directions. "I wanted to thank you for-" she smacked him on the wrist when he got too close, "your recommendation. Financial independence is important-"

Gendry gently tugged on her free hand, spinning the other professor towards him. Though he didn't anticipate the momentum, and their chests collided. Luckily, Stark had the common sense to keep the pointy part of the knife away from either of them. Startled by the proximity—hells, the physical contact alone—she wordlessly stared up at him while they caught their breaths.

#spoiler saturday #gendrya #aryaxgendry #gendryxarya #gendrya bigbang #the art of war #enemies to friends to lovers #modern gendrya #modern university #professors falling in love

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-06

♪ HS2 HS2 is baaaaack ♪

♪ HS2bloggin here we gooooo ♪

♪ Structural changes on their team but I don’t caaaaare ♪

♪ Already resooolved myself that its NOOOT gonna beee as good ♪ with inattentiveness to details characters like Terezi forgetting-what-they-used-to-know and an obsession with dwelling on traaageeeDEEE without relief-or-considering how weee’d feeeeeeel~ ♪♪♪ --so just gonna enjoy-what-i-caaaaaan about iiit~ ♪♪♪

Okay time for bankruptcy

> CHAPTER 11. History's Most Notorious Haters

Let’s see how effectively my perky new lowered-expectations attitude lets me enjoy this comic *click*

wut

Oh. so is this Dave drawing comics about current events or Regular Calliope doing so for our very first lanky look at her presumably-grown-up-more cherub form

> Knight: Keep it real.

HOLY SHIT IT’S DAVEBOT AND ARADIA

so we just get to SEE them?! just like that??? no buildup or anything? :D

Okay I’m marking out a little that’s a good sign. Also what a nerdy cop-out to turn the roboteyes into glasses that’s barely passable which is perfect, the rest of his outfit looks pretty cool tho

DAVEBOT: and thats reason four hundred nineteen why despite my mans many accomplishments i will never acknowledge big skateboardings contrived message that tony hawk is the quintessential skater of our generation ARADIA: o_o DAVEBOT: not in these trying times

Good to see Ultimate Dave is being true to form with regards to the core of his personality

DAVEBOT: beep boop ARADIA: i have told you several times that i was a robot before and i know for a fact you dont have to say beep boop DAVEBOT: hm that sounds fake does not compute ARADIA: david DAVEBOT: mom

I was with this conversation until the last two lines what the fuck

(I’m reading into it aren’t I, Aradia was trying to be atypically proper -- even though she wouldn’t have the frame of reference to know without being specifically told that “Dave” was considered nickname shorthand for the human name David, and thus if she DID know there’s no reason she’d use it except to troll him -- and Dave’s just mocking her response. Without any shame about his continued weirdness of calling people Mom, and by without any shame I mean he made the choice EXPLICITLY to intentionally evoke the awkwardness. Wow I got a lot out of two lines.)

(Oh, also alt!Callie’s true Jade-body incarnation here probably prompted her to start using “David” by example. There, various mysteries solved via a pile of assumptions probably to be disproven in the next couple lines I read.)

The Knight and the Maid stare at each other briefly, having exchanged enough meaningful glances over their time together to know when to drop it.

Would Time players have an easier time gelling this way, like this particular smoothness? Dropping it just before it gets weird or excessively irritating?

(Overclasspecting)

ARADIA: i think we have exchanged enough meaningful glances over our time together to know when to drop this DAVEBOT: what i enjoy about our conversations is that you just say things like that

OKAY I SNRK’D AT THAT. That was funny.

Initially. And now I’m concerned whether Aradia is being controlled by the narrative-speak, or whether they’re both just humorously referencing the meta-text they can both see, or--

ARADIA: oh is that what you enjoy ARADIA: well we are both an infinite number of years old living countless lifetimes at once but thats no reason to waste any of our...

WHAT??!? She’s an Ultimate Self too?!?

Um, okay! Yeah! So they’re BOTH just riffing on the narrative then. But... why would Dave need a robot body to accommodate his Ultimate Psyche without getting sick but Rose not need it? I can understand Dirk not needing it because the merging of the full breadth of his multiversal individuality gels well with him being a God of the aspect governing the power of his multiversal individuality, but Aradia?

Were the robot bodies not necessary after all, and the sickness Rose suffered and Obama thought Dave would have suffered some sort of ruse? Are there shenanigans afoot? (Or are we going with the “troll biology is better” cop-out?)

She knows how this will play out, having undoubtedly tried this joke on her friend in some timeline or another. Their rapport reflects a unique combination of their matching aspects but greatly differing classes. One a passive but powerful servant to time, the other wielding the aspect like a honed blade.

WHAT????

PASSIVE SERVANT OF THE ASPECT?!? WHAT THE FUCK

Okay if that means anything like it sounds like I guess my class chart is finally blown up, sure, they only waited (*checks last edit date*) SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS TO BLOW THAT GUESS UP, SURE

Wow. Okay, I feel some obligation to jump to conclusions and say the whole class chart is wrong, but let me stay strapped in to see if “passive” is as literal as one would expect alt!Callie to mean, or it just means “an active class passive compared to other classes”. And, serving the aspect? Oh dammit, now people are gonna come at me advocating a Maid / Page dichotomy about actively serving the aspect versus allowing the aspect to be served... or Page / Maid even, jesus

I wish I had enough energy to have those chats anymore. I’d rather hold on and see the whole ridiculous chart scheme they have in mind... which is definitely (and hopefully) the one Andrew really drew up at the time and not made up by the staff, even if it throws away plenty of my old work... I’ll just stop thinking about it and keep reading.

...

--no, I don’t think I can just stop thinking about it yet. Dammit, brain.

So um. Maids serving their aspect. There was a whole “Maids serve” thing going on throughout the whole plot of Homestuck, but despite how prevalent it was, I wrote it off as the story riffing on the classical definition of Maid when the actual stuff Maids accomplished was something different and more specific, just like Knights constantly got riffed on for chivalry and the like. Furthermore, service seemed like a really shitty class definition, when class definitions are the verbs one uses to interact with reality through Aspects to change the way reality unfolds, and “serving” isn’t really an action that results in change, implying a distinct deficit of agency that I wouldn’t have viewed as fair. (Especially since you originally think “meant to serve others” and not “meant to serve the aspect”, implying even LESS agency.) Furthermore, MOST passive classes from their descriptions seem to have a propensity to act “as if by the will of the aspect”, so even with the nuance of “serving the aspect”, devoting an entire class verb to service would just step on the territory of other active/passive class pairs’ passive sides, right?

But... IF we were to take this for granted as what it SEEMS... then concentrating on that angle of “serving the aspect” implies a whole lot more agency than a service class might sound on its surface. The definition fits with the story better once you contextualize all the Maid-y references to service around Jane, for instance, with the additional idea of “serving Life” by baking prolifically and creating more of its symbols in food and--

--fuck. “Serving”, like serving to others. Serving the aspect as its attendant AND serving it out to others that need it. Maybe this still IS part of the Additive class pair! Whoa. :O

Okay okay so, what I/we thought before was:

Create/Add - Maid / Sylph

Destroy/Reduce - Prince / Bard

But “additive” really isn’t an elegant verb compared to the “Destroyer” classes, so... could it be the “Servants” and the “Destroyers”? Like Maids cleaning up and healing the broken wreckage strewn through the halls by a bratty Prince’s tantrum???

It’d certainly be weird... and it’d CERTAINLY be a wild twist where I was partially wrong in some fascinating ways but not entirely off base?

One a passive but powerful servant to time, the other wielding the aspect like a honed blade.

And yet, I can’t bet on this being the situation yet; not at all. First, it relies on the idea that alt!Callie’s explicit narrative here is slightly misleading, which would be a pretty extreme thing to commit to, even for a technical truth like “she was saying it was passive relative to other classes even though it’s technically “active””. Second... it would mean that Muses are even more wildly defined than the previous insinuation of hers, that the Sylph -- what we thought was the passive additive class -- was not enough like a Muse compared to a Witch. Muses not being that Additive? I could grudgingly understand that, but Muses not being anything like passive Servants?! That would be EXTREMELY weird!

So... there’s not a whole lot of chance that I’m not dramatically wrong somewhere about these classes! In a way that throws the entire chart into disarray!

I’m... oddly excited? Huh.

That’s a pretty nice surprise that I actually feel that way.

(Don’t hit me up all at once to discuss this Classpect development over Discord, I’ll still need a few days without talking about Homestuck to recharge as usual. Like... maybe wait and come at me as a group chat? So I’m not talking about the latest developments separately with everyone? No that wouldn’t work, how about... guh I dunno, look my outlook’s a little more positive right now but dealing with Homestuck still takes emotional energy okay?)

Okay the rest of this page...

ARADIA: ... DAVEBOT: time then make a weird face ARADIA: ........ DAVEBOT: waste time DAVEBOT: time ARADIA:............. DAVEBOT: i experience all points of time simultaneously please just say time and make a weird face

This is true.

ARADIA: .................. DAVEBOT: cmon megido youre killing me clocks ticking ARADIA: ... ARADIA: time o_o

The Maid casts a furtive glance around the empty crew quarters, as though to search for someone more sympathetic to her bit.

ARADIA: tough crowd

Dorks.

> ==>

(Lazy fruit-throwing sword-training I won’t bother to screenshot but looks fun)

(I mean, really lazy looking, these people really don’t have Andrew’s knack for action composition that would make the same amount of gif-creation effort feel like a microcosm of the event they’re depicting, unfortunately. Again, I don’t blame them; Andrew was just too good at it.)

DAVEBOT: ok heres one DAVEBOT: how old do you think you are ARADIA: emotionally? ARADIA: that is a pretty heavy topic DAVEBOT: you know damn well thats not what i meant ARADIA: you know I have been through a lot dave DAVEBOT: ok ARADIA: its just so kind of someone DAVEBOT: ok i get it ARADIA: to finally ask how i feel ARADIA: i am beside myself with emotions ARADIA: i want to open up DAVEBOT: jesus christ ARADIA: shall i open up about my past traumas to you ARADIA: would you enjoy that ARADIA: to think even a frog like me can work through their pain with a dear friend ARADIA: you have truly blessed me on this day dave strider

Is Aradia JUST trolling here or is her Ultimate Self grappling with a ton of real unresolved trauma too that she’s bullshitting around Dave-style?

DAVEBOT: times fun when youre having flies

Okay that’s a damned good frog pun.

Alright now Davebot’s rapping

DAVEBOT: lacking tact i stay stacked while i breach contract DAVEBOT: sacred vows disavowed got divorce fever DAVEBOT: i leave her DAVEBOT: dont look back dont perceive her ARADIA: do you want to talk about it :( DAVEBOT: about what ARADIA: would you say you are hung up on leaving your wife and friends behind

Goddamnit is DAVE’S ton of real unresolved trauma leaking into his raps unintentionally Dave-style?? I knew we had to address it when we cut to Davebot but how about LESS TRAGEDY IN THIS COMIC MAYBE

DAVEBOT: arent you even a little guilty about ditching your boyfriend ARADIA: what ARADIA: oh fuck

But she knew what she was doing when she did it she explicitly did it didn’t she? Epilogues quote:

DAVEBOT: what about your boy DAVEBOT: eyepatches ARADIA: oh sollux is in one of his moods ARADIA: this was all getting to be a bit much for him ARADIA: if i go ill probably just cut him loose DAVEBOT: good move

And then they stepped through the sky hole more or less. Did like, distracted Ultimate Aradia not realize exactly how long she was leaving Sollux for, ie forever? Or did she “ascend” to Ultimate status later and hadn’t thought back to the full consequences of her actions within this timeline? Or both? From the looks of the link we’ll probably find out on the next pa--

--Wait. Something else I just thought of, unrelated.

If Aradia is an Ultimate Self, that’s another coincidentally Ultimate version of someone hanging around that happens to be on the prospective list of Soul-Powered Jujus that might have their creation loops closed in the coming story. Could those two things play into each other somehow? Like instead of their souls getting stuffed into the items, their “Ultimateness” is? Or as if that’s a necessary component, or... no, I’m probably overthinking things.

> (Months in the past, but not many...)

Uh huh. Is that flashing because he’s “watching” Aradia leave? But I thought Aradia SAID she was leaving--

> (==>)

--and that black hole portal doesn’t look as cool as it sounded in the Epilogues. But why was Aradia acting surprised, she said “I’ll probably just cut him loose” mere MOMENTS before entering the portal, did she mean “cut him loose” as in “I’m going to talk to him before leaving” and then just IMMEDIATELY forget that she didn’t say anything to him because she cared so little???

Wait. Waaaait wait wait. I think. I think maybe I missed some subtext. Lemme do some fuller quotes here:

ARADIA: oh sollux is in one of his moods ARADIA: this was all getting to be a bit much for him ARADIA: if i go ill probably just cut him loose DAVEBOT: good move

His gaze remains fixed on her. She blinks and looks away, unsure what to say next. He’s standing perfectly still, presumably waiting for her to say something. She met him... what was it? Once, twice before? She can’t remember. But she knows this is a very different Dave. Aside from the metal skin, he seems implacably confident. But then, people go through changes. She’s been through more than her share. She cocks an eyebrow, recalling her own stint with a metal body.

DAVEBOT: hey earth to whats your face ARADIA: oh ARADIA: its aradia

[...]

DAVEBOT: youre coming DAVEBOT: better decide quick i doubt that dank fuckin hell funnel is staying open for much longer ARADIA: yes i suppose so ARADIA: thats where all the action is right? DAVEBOT: all the action that matters yeah ARADIA: off we go then :) DAVEBOT: word

He holds out his hand. She looks around, and assumes he means for her to take it, so she does. She didn’t know someone could fly this fast. He nearly yanks her arm out of its socket. She considers reminding him that maybe this isn’t necessary, since she can fly too. But she doesn’t want to risk saying more embarrassing stuff around this outrageously cool dude. Besides, they’re through the wormhole before she can even finish the thought. It vanishes the moment they’ve crossed.

...this was a SHIPPING thing wasn’t it. She’s impressed as hell with Striderbot, she SAID she’d cut things off with Sollux, and then she was so busy being swooped off her feet and into the portal that she forgot to actually say anything to him. Is that what happened????

Ultimate Self Davebot x Ultimate Self Aradia. Huh. Didn’t see that coming. (Though, again... they could make it SLIGHTLY clearer that this wasn’t just a blatant continuity error.)

Anyway, a rare-don’t-get-used-to-it [S] page...

> [S] (Gaze.)

...Okay that was kinda funny.

> (==>)

SOLLUX: h0w the fuck am i g0ing t0 get d0wn fr0m here.

HAH! Okay, he’s taking it pretty well. :) --and THAT’s what she realized she forgot, giving him a flight down from the tower before leaving.

GOOD. KEEP THINGS HUMOROUS EVEN WHEN LITERAL ABANDONMENT IS HAPPENING. THAT’S the Homestuck I was missing. :) :) :)

> Back to reality.

(Since the black hole is outside “canon” reality.)

Those are some cool poses-AHAH JESUS CHRIST ALT!JADE YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING XD

COULD YOU MAYBE HAVE CLEANED UP THE DRIED BLOOD AT SOME POINT OR IS SOME OF THAT FRESH FROM EATING MORE RAW MEAT

(Lord English’s blood leaving permanent timeless bloodstains would be a cool new thing to squeeze into canon i admit, i wouldn’t blame them for taking the excuse even if you could find small canon counterexamples I’m not sure of but dimly think might exist)

((ALSO SHE’S GONNA BE TINY NEXT TO THEM I DUNNO IF THAT MAKES IT MORE TERRIFYING OR LESS, PROBABLY MORE))

DAVEBOT: so youre telling me you dont even feel a little bad that you ditched him to be a weird death acolyte ARADIA: no i think he found my wiles both charming and irresistible DAVEBOT: not even an ounce of guilt or self doubt huh DAVEBOT: just like that DAVEBOT: no conversations about the greater good DAVEBOT: no revelations about your feelings

Is Aradia a jerk or weird? Can’t decide.

ARADIA: do you often find your faith in yourself shaken like this or is it a new experience now that your mortal coil has been left behind DAVEBOT: what ARADIA: do you think now that all that is left of you is a literal ghost inside of a machine you are more or less likely to embrace finality DAVEBOT: oh dope more cult of one shit DAVEBOT: immortality changed you ARADIA: could it be that you are projecting your feelings onto my situation DAVEBOT: does not compute rose jr ARADIA: ... ARADIA: we dont have to talk about it DAVEBOT: thanks

Wow, I actually can’t follow this conversation at all. Let me stare at it for a sec...

...okay, the first part she’s talking about DAVE’s faith in HIMself being shaken, not her own. She’s not asking if he relates to HER experience, she’s contrasting it.

Then, asking if he’d be more likely to embrace death, or... Time? Death. Whether his self-worth has changed because he might view himself as “less real”, something Aradia doubtless struggled with when she was a robot who already had so many excuses to devalue herself at the time? And then Dave talks about “cult of one” shit what does that even mean-...

OH. Like she’s a death cult. Gooot it. Because Aradia’s of the position that death and ending should be celebrated, and Davebot understandably isn’t entirely bought in. This is as hard to parse down as one would EXPECT conversations between two Ultimate Selves to be hard to parse down, unlike Rose and Dirk where their insane missions and glaring flaws shine bright enough through it all that you can follow their conversation flow easily.

JADE: They sit in each other's presence, the silence between them as meaningful as any words they could exchange. DAVEBOT: its always really cool to hear how meaningful my silences are DAVEBOT: especially while DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: especially while i am attempting to experience them

Alt!Callie pulling a narrative-text AFTER a talk-identifier like “JADE:” is really hilarious in my opinion.

JADE: i do not need your approval. the story will continue how it must. DAVEBOT: beep boop hater detected ARADIA: wow is that true JADE: i am not a hater. DAVEBOT: classic hater line DAVEBOT: i know this because i am pouring through genuine actual quadrabytes of information on historys most notorious haters JADE: no, you aren’t.

Pffffff. This is pretty fun.

DAVEBOT: you are the exact opposite of a hater ARADIA: a liker DAVEBOT: ok DAVEBOT: perfect example your tolerance for whatever is going on with DAVEBOT: all this ARADIA: i think she looks quite lovely covered in the viscera of the all-powerful enemy she consumed ARADIA: floating lifelessly in our periphery ARADIA: observing our every action and noting its relevance :) DAVEBOT: uh huh thats what i mean

I was gonna note “liker” as additive for pointless classpect purposes, but really more quoting it just because I really enjoy this conversation. I’m starting to get sold on the chemistry of these two a lot faster than I expected.

JADE: even though I understand that it must happen, i am growing frustrated with the direction of this conversation. DAVEBOT: do you want to talk about something else stinky JADE: what would you suggest?

How long has that dried fucking blood been on her

DAVEBOT: ok hear me out DAVEBOT: kanaya DAVEBOT: but like DAVEBOT: wearing huge jorts

That explains Homestuck’s twitter earlier

> Weeks in the future, relative to the original point of interest...

Wait wait which point of interest? This time we were just viewing? *click*

I love what must be this shitty imagination-ship they’re using to cross the substrate of reality

> ==>

Whoaaaa. So they DIDN’T stay in those outfits for long? It showed them in a bunk bed earlier, it showed CallieJade still going around blood-covered afterward-- dammit, I’m having a hard time gauging exactly how much time is supposed to have passed between their entry into the black portal, their earlier conversation, and this moment. And as likely as some are to call this poor scene composition, I can’t think it’s anything but intentional, given we’re dealing with a couple of Ultimate Time players bullshitting with each other.

Moments like these are not rare, and serve a valuable function to the story. They are able to show a passage of time with the bulk of the emotional labor of a lengthy bonding process happening off screen. How did we get here? What have they been through? These questions are often better left open to individual interpretation and can give the one interpreting a sense of ownership of the story.

See? We’re being trolled is why. (Even if the authors are pulling the trick Alt!Callie describes maybe a little too damn often, because a cut like this where we’re supposed to fill in the emotional gaps and intervening events ourselves as readers depends on readers’ faith that sensible events and decisions for these characters would OCCUPY the gaps, as if readers don’t have faith that what intervenes WOULD make sense to their understanding of the characters the way the authors are writing them... it just seems like an excuse to do whatever you want without adequately explaining yourself, when in reality if you’d spelled out the events that led to it we’d all cry foul at the mischaracterization.)

...okay, maybe I’m a BIT bitter. Sorry. Where were we?

JADE: As a point of curiosity- ARADIA: oh shit!!!!

The dead Cherub possessing the body of an equally deceased Goddess of Space pauses at the interruption.

She doesn’t talk much, then? Too busy doing whatever talking you’d do as your other possessed Jade body? Just how temporally related is you controlling THIS Jade compared to when you were controlling the other? When that Jade pegged you as enjoying contact with friends, are these two just not enough for you, or did you “experience” the trips entirely separately? I don’t THINK the alt!Callie possessing either Jade is a separate entity from the other, but...

Were she to voice her opinion, it would be that --actually-- it is not unusual for those whose primary concern is The Grander Scheme to have a passing curiosity about the insignificant. So when one really thinks about it, any annoyance with the attendant’s small mindedness is both understandable and warranted.

She pissed

...also, “the attendant”. Even if “serve” is really the verb here, that phrasing really irks me as if she’s talking down to her. Which, I mean, makes sense for alt!Callie’s character, but doesn’t make me feel better about this new definition being foisted on us.

ARADIA: :( JADE: as a point of order, you never answered dave’s question. ARADIA: which one he is very chatty JADE: you experience time in a way that is woefully unfamiliar to me and it has... piqued my curiosity enough to learn more. ARADIA: ?_? DAVEBOT: shes asking how old you are

Wait a minute, is Alt!Callie asking a question about a dropped topic from WEEKS ago?! And is Davebot so in touch with Time and the meta ordering of topics that he actually CAUGHT ON that fast to what she was actually wondering about?????

This is getting more disorienting by the minute.

ARADIA: in this form our bodies stop aging once we reach maturity i think ARADIA: the god tier keeps our physical form locked in a state of undying ARADIA: even in death the bodies do not decay ARADIA: only lay dormant

THAT LAST PART IS FUCKING IMPORTANT. It’s being brought up intentionally to tell us that JOHN’S DEAD BODY can still be in the wallet Terezi’s carrying around RIGHT NOW without having decayed over the past years. I remember remarking in SOME previous HS^2 liveblog post of mine that I was alarmed by the decay that would have happened there (can’t find my remark on short notice and don’t really care to), so this explicitly dismisses it so we won’t be surprised by the fact that she could keep it in just-dead condition.

DAVEBOT: like how long have you been alive JADE: yes, that one.

[...]

ARADIA: oh maybe a few hundred years or so DAVEBOT: what JADE: what? ARADIA: well if i had known you were going to be so judgy about it DAVEBOT: when did this happen ARADIA: oh i spent some time in other doomed realities and timelines and came back before anybody could tell i was gone

Hm!

We knew she spent a LONG time in the dream bubbles, enough to talk to “pretty much all of the Nepetas”, but she was actually able to access a universe or universes and hop between them? That’s not something any time traveller we’ve seen has been explicitly able to do intentionally before, quite like she’s describing.

DAVEBOT: oh just out for a bit of fun then DAVEBOT: just hopped on over to a different reality DAVEBOT: real casual like DAVEBOT: oh hello dont mind me just popping in to see if it really is as doomed as they say it is DAVEBOT: did not disappoint ARADIA: yes almost exactly like that :) DAVEBOT: who did you hang out with are they cooler than me ARADIA: it is complicated to explain DAVEBOT: oh ok nevermind then DAVEBOT: all clear

Yep, he’s kinda bewildered. Is this Pesterquest stuff she’s referring to? Did she stop by Pesterquest?

DAVEBOT: a whole alternate universe ripe with the coolest motherfuckers imaginable ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all JADE: these events are not-canonical. ARADIA: rude

Ah! Yeah, almost certainly Pesterquest. (Still haven’t played that and have little inclination to now that I’m more sure we aren’t being gaslit with intentional continuity errors, just disappointed by actual continuity errors.) Oh! And that makes a bit more sense because I imagine that’s Black Hole territory, and that territory outside of Canon seems pretty rich and easy for time-travellers to hop between stories and timelines willy-nilly. As they’re apt to in fanfics, which is the most appropriate way for things to be in that realm!

DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write ARADIA: :( JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all. DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen DAVEBOT: but im an altruist first and fucking foremost ARADIA: so selfless JADE: yes, the greater narrative is truly blessed by your beneficent presence. DAVEBOT: oh so you got jokes now huh JADE: i have always had the ‘jokes’ of which you speak, but i have heretofore exercised restraint in laying you low. JADE: i possess knowledge of many of your iterations, as the scope of my powers allows me to exist in several narrative structures at once. DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means. ARADIA: neither do i :)

I’m actually really enjoying this conversation

JADE: its cultural significance to you as an earthling is wasted on the two of us entirely, as we have not conflated the misguided notion of clinging to nostalgic cereal advertisement trivia with socially relevant conversation.

Pff she literally checked her meta notes just now to learn what the cereal ads were after admitting she didn’t know what it meant and pretending not to care

> ==>

Oh, closer look at Davebot. Are those actual SHAPED shades over his robotic eye bulges? Weird, I thought it was just a lazy line drawn between them with red sharpie at first, Sans style. That would’ve been funny.

> ==>

Ohh, I get it. I was gonna say that was an unwarranted reaction... but he just realized that the Time-wait puns will be coming from BOTH his shipmates from now on. That’s gotta be a downer. :)

> ==>

HOLY

FUCKING

SHIT

IS ALT-CALLIE LAUGHING!??!?!?!??

That’s REALLY, REALLY GOOD!!! SHE’S ALREADY LAUGHING OCCASIONALLY THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

“BEST NARRATOR” COFFEE CUP

SHE’S ADORABLE

> ==>

Ah, was that Jade kicking you out? Or just the multiverse punishing you for being briefly happy :(

--oh, end of the update. Guess that’s it for now!

...

Alright I know I’m A BIT BEHIND on covering the HS2 commentary,

But

I really would rather wait on that a bit longer if that’s alright. Real busy and stressful week or two. (Found out my hair is starting to thin noticeably at age 31! Quite suddenly, too. Blood test looks fine so it’s nothing serious... gonna see a doctor to check if anything can be safely done about that, it’s really hurting my self-esteem more than I thought it would. Didn’t think it would hit my emotions that hard when it eventually happened, knew it was likely but not so SOON... really messing with my anxiety every time I accidentally touch my hair, now. I’ll deal with it.)

If I sound really aimless in this post, I think it’s cause I am? My mental and emotional energy’s REALLY drained. I’m glad that June/July break in HS^2 happened when it did, and I’m definitely glad there’s apparently plenty in HS^2 I can really enjoy, if this update is anything to go by. Maybe this comic can help lift me up instead of knocking me down. :)

See y’all later! More Patreon commentary blogging catchup after some other upd8.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #Homestuck Theories #Homestuck Theory #spoiler #spoilers #Classes and Aspects #Space and Time #Aradia

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rafaelklwa462-blog · 4 years

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theloobrush · 4 years

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Respect Culture

I have worked with many socially excluded and marginalized groups. I have also seen the dark and unpleasant underbelly of a nation encountering the reality of homelessness, addiction, crime and prostitution.. I am not a professional social scientist but these are my ‘layman’s’ conclusions about the culture at the bottom of society.

1. The majority of the chronically street homeless (i.e. those who are homeless for more than a few weeks or months) suffer from severe mental health and/or addictions. In all the cases I have encountered there was some degree of mental ill health and addictive behaviour prior to homelessness though rough sleeping usually worsens these afflictions. A very substantial number of the chronically homeless have had social housing (in some cases multiple tenancies as well as private lets) but these have not be sustainable due to the tenant’s behaviour. Frequently the accommodation is lost due to persistent non payment of rent, anti-social activities or prolonged periods in custody. Family and spousal estrangement is also a significant factor.

2. Drug addiction (in contrast with alcohol addiction) is social. No one is a drug addict on their own without a network of people who encourage and feed the habit. Drug addicts form almost exclusive social groups with other addicts, or addiction is mutually supported within couples. They are often bound together only by the rituals of obtaining and using drugs, exchanging drugs and drug information, and especially the lending of money to each other. It is very difficult for individuals to break free from the social aspect of drug taking. The rehabilitated person often begins with loss, friendless and either treated with suspicion by their former associates or constantly badgered to re-start their habit. Chronic addiction results in alienation from all normative family relationships, very low engagement with social institutions including those designed for leisure and education, and little to no interest in current affairs.

3. Most addicts are also petty occasional dealers within their small circles.. To sustain their habits and due to debt obligations accrued to their own drug suppliers, individuals will become runners to supply drugs for friends; some will seek to earn future ‘credit’ or make a profit on these deals.

4. Where voluntary organisations provide regular food or other useful donations with no strings attached, the addicts will tend to cease to purchase essential items and spend more money on their addictions. Street homelessness is sustained by organisations that claim to want to remove people from the street. Established charities have a very different approach and help is almost never entirely unconditional..

5.. Marginalised groups are most likely to emphasise their wish and need for ‘respect’. These individuals have no job or only occasional casual work. They are often under educated; in many case they failed or were excluded from school; their addictions consumed their early adulthood. They may have no developed skills or work experience, there is substantial emotional retardation as drug habits and the escape from reality they provide disrupts the maturing process of gaining greater responsibility for one’s own life.

In any event prolific offending behaviour to feed their habit has also made it very difficult for them to find employment. They have next to no financial resources except those obtained through welfare benefits, begging and criminal activity. Relative to most of society they lack any well regarded social status or significance, and they know their degradation either consciously or unconsciously.

Many of the men, and some women in this seemingly hopeless position, will take offence at the slightest perceived insult or criticism and the mildest obstruction to their immediate wishes. Any hint of disdain or dislike toward them is often met with exaggerated hostility. An expression of fear or nervousness in response to this hostility is in turn met with behaviour that is designed to denigrate or shame the other person, to ‘bring them down’.

There is an expectation that they will be treated like everyone else even if their behaviour is unreasonable. They do not like any reference being made to any wrong doing, mental health, addiction problems or general situation unless this is volunteered; welfare benefits are described as ‘pay’ and discussed as if they are a right they have ‘earned’. Much of the time, outside of private discussions with those they trust, they reject any personal responsibility for their failures and they are extremely sensitive to anyone ‘judging them’. Most have a deeply ingrained sense of victimhood and corresponding sense of entitlement despite or because of their extreme dependence on the largesse of the state.

They do not accept that respect is something to be ‘earned’. Outwardly they express behaviour that is suggestive of substantial personal pride and even excessive, almost narcissistic self regard. Though they have next to no other belongings and poor diets, the majority will ensure they have clean faces, well cut hair and wear some fashionable clothes and trainers. At first glance many do not appear ‘poor’ by their dress, and not all are shabby. Another expression of pride is through exaggerated claims about their great love for their extended families - often quite at odds with their actual negative and strained relations. Family connections are emphasised, whether or not any strong interpersonal relationship exists.

The negative aspect of this respect culture is they may also go out of their way to cultivate fear in others by verbal and sometimes physical violence and intimidation. This culture also leads to bullying of individuals who are perceived as 'weaker' personalities and especially those who are less physically strong. Many are openly hostile and loudly abusive toward individuals from other ethnic and sexual minorities. There is a very strong tendency to scapegoat minorities for their own problems

Most readily understand their legal rights. They readily expect the police services to come to their aid when they have been faulted though they are involved in considerable criminal activity and will tell you how much they hate the police and how corrupt they are. They are strong believers in contractual obligations.

6. Individuals in their immediate circle who are interested in learning, in study or in bettering themselves in anyway are routinely subjected to derision and rejection, intimidation and bullying.

7. Some will use crude graffiti employing their own names, nicknames and 'tags'. This mabe be a way for these individuals to feel they can psychologically dominate their environment, assert their 'territory' and so artificially give themselves social significance.

Discussion

What is happening here? Here is a group that actively opposes society's standards of 'respect' and the various value hierarchies against which they would ordinarily be judged. Young males from this background are often intensely anti-education, as well as anti-authority in all its forms. They often seem inexplicably and unnecessarily aggressive to anyone with enhanced power or status including 'helping' professionals (at other times they will appear excessively craven to service providers as long as they have an expectation that their immediate needs may be met.)

From occasional but revealing private conversations, I know that marginalised, and badly educated men in particular tend to have rock bottom feelings of self worth, lacking as they do social capital and any prospect of economic standing. They have internalised their poor social status but this has not motivated them to improve themselves. This behaviour is not limited to those with a poor upbringing, if their successful progress into full adult life has been thwarted (most often as a consequence of their own behaviour)

What we are seeing are habitual behaviours with the only instrumental means of expression open to them being employed: their emotions, speech, general physicality and personal presentation. I believe marginalised individuals develop a social mask or persona projecting strength with the appearance of dominance, courage and fortitude in stark contrast to their social reality. This seems to be a psychological survival tactic in the more self aware individuals to avoid torpor and permanent depression. These individuals can seem hostile to anyone or anything that reminds them of their personal failure. . They will frequently engage in forms of posturing and social intimidation.

It is more than probable that their addictions to certain substances meet deep personal needs by obliterating feeling of low self worth and internalised inferiority. The chosen drugs do one of two things: they either relax and soothe or boost feelings of strength and confidence.

Conclusion.

Respect Culture is the pervasive phenomena among marginalised groups, especially young men, where in response to an internalized sense of inferiority, and social rejection, the individual projects a protective facade of social dominance. This in turn is experienced by the rest of the society as hostility and aggression resulting in further marginalisation in a vicious downward spiral.

#respect culture

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s0406110 · 4 years

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Documenting Daniel Cho’s Substance Addiction, Anger Problems, and Sexist Tendencies

An account of the problems our relationship has endured. Any photos will appear at the end of the post.

Since I began dating Daniel Cho in October 2015, I have been a first-hand witness to his sexism, anger problems, and substance use disorder with both marijuana and alcohol. Of course, occasional recreational use of some types of drugs is not a problem in my opinion. I have categorized it as such according to the following definition:

“Substance use disorder occurs when a person's use of alcohol or another substance (drug) leads to health issues or problems at work, school, or home. Children who grow up seeing their parents using drugs may have a high risk of developing substance use problem later in life for both environmental and genetic reasons.“ (Citation: https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001522.htm)

By his suggestion, we started drinking as a way to bond when we first dated. There was no problem at the time, as we had both legally were able to drink not too long ago, and binge drinking was “to be expected” as typical college students. It was fun, it was new, and nothing stood out as excessive. A downside to us dating and having fun was that we had poor judgement and often had sex without protection. He did not like condoms and I wanted to make him happy, so I would regularly take Plan B.

The first sign of alcohol abuse was when he had drank himself into a depressed mood, and called me. At the time, we were not together yet, I had my doubts about his personality, and we were long distance dating. He pleaded and cried into the phone, asking why I wouldn’t be his girlfriend. I was exasperated, not knowing how to deal with this situation, not knowing why he decided to binge drink hard alcohol by himself, in his room, in his parents’ house. I had never met anyone before who would purchase hard alcohol to get drunk by himself.

The first sign of marijuana abuse was when we went on a date to a nearby park. We had been hanging out in the parking lot in his car, when he began having breathing problems. For exactly 1 hour, he struggled to take deep breaths while I sat there watching him. Smoking was and had clearly been irritating his lungs. Despite this, he continued to smoke excessively.

We eventually became boyfriend and girlfriend, and continued our constant drinking habits. By this point, it was whenever we were able to meet up with each other, as I was in Davis and he was in Buena Park, ranging from once a month or every few months. When I moved down to Socal after I graduated, I lived in my grandparents’ house temporarily. We met up much more often now that the long distance was over, and thus drank much more. We also took recreational drugs such as marijuana and MDMA once in a while usually by his prompt (but sometimes by mine); we were on top of the world. Our relationship at this point had no problems regarding power or gender; he seemed like a regular modern-day feminist, but with chivalrous tendencies. At the back of my mind, I did have a thought that he was someone who was easily addicted to substances, but it did not seem a problem at the time.

I moved out to an apartment in Anaheim in August 2017, and stayed in a 2-bedroom with Mindy. At the time, Daniel was not allowed to move out, as his father threatened to not pay his tuition. Therefore, he came over almost daily, and we continued our drinking habits. The drinking, the sedentary lifestyle, and the emotional burden of being with him had now caused my body to balloon to a weight I had never been. Now that I lived with someone else, I became a bit wary and embarrassed of drinking so often. Mindy even pointed out that we were drinking so much. The increased drinking may have had something to do with how I was concerned how often we were taking MDMA and quit cold turkey, but may also have nothing to do with it. At this point, Daniel and I were very comfortable with each other, had a lot less of the highs and more lows, and as we were both constantly drunk and were both fiery people, we fought a lot and loudly. I often felt apologetic to Mindy for having to endure living with us. I also did not know I could turn into a mean person when I drank, and apologized every time I got that way. Alcohol also could bring out the mean side in him, and it became a guessing game to see if getting drunk that night would result in happiness, me being mean to him, or him being mean to me. I began attempting to reconcile differences between Daniel and I during fights by setting up rules to abide by, such as not using hand gestures, not raising our voices, etc. I tried navigating the conversation, taking particular care to make it a point when the topic began to stray. It was a new thing for both of us, and of course was not perfect at the beginning, but it was definitely beginning to help. Of course, I had a problem with interrupting him talking, but it was a growing process for both of us. We were both failing, but becoming better at working at it, and it was not getting as quite out of hand when we got drunk.

April 2019, our arguments had been increasing and consistently escalating the more our differences presented themselves. The stress of the arguments had taken a huge toll on our relationship, and he found himself constantly angry while I was constantly sad. The depression I went through in high school due to an unrelated incident had begun coming back. He had started growing tired of me trying to control the arguments (mindset of “I don’t want to do what she says because she’s not consistently following it either”). One day during an argument, he suddenly stated, “I want you off the birth control.” His explanation was that he had heard from a friend, Angela, that her birth control caused her hormonal imbalance which caused her to feel crazy. I was shocked and confirmed with him that he knew what he was saying. He stood by his stance, and the argument ended. I confronted Angela secretly, and she was taken aback by his words as well. She assured me her experience was purely her own, that she was just asking him to think of the possibility it was a factor in our arguments, but she did not suggest or remotely backs his decision to tell me to quit birth control. I was angered and speechless at his behavior. While I did not believe birth control had anything to do with it, I had been wanting to switch BC methods (I was using Nexplanon and had been told it shouldn’t be a long-term method, and I had been looking into the IUD). I then began making plans to switch without letting him know. I booked an appointment with an OBGYN that month and went in for a check up and an analysis. During this check up, I found out how much I weighed (146 lbs, up from weighing consistently 115 lbs throughout high school and early college years) and that my blood pressure had been fairly high. We discussed available IUD options, decided on the Mirena, and removed my Nexplanon. I went home, and decided to then tell Daniel only about removing my birth control, per his wish. He instantly became angry, and asked me why I did not consult him about removing it first. I was stunned again into speechlessness. I had grown up learning that a woman’s body is her own, that women are empowered to do what they want, and that men accept and endorse this. The conversation ended, and I told him within a day or two that I was switching to another method and having no birth control was a temporary thing and I would resume mid-May. He was relieved, but still vocalized his unhappiness that I did not consult him first. I was devastated. Not only was this way of thinking an outrage, I did not appreciate that he was speaking openly of our problems to other people; I deeply preferred professional help, was wary that friends or family would lead us astray, and have told him this sentiment before. To “get back” at him, I decided to divulge this problem to my friend You You, who was even more shocked at his behavior. While I felt justified in how I felt, I still did not speak on it at this point, but later brought it up at least weeks later. I told him there are certain things that are not available for discussion, including birth control, and I was deeply offended at the things he had said to me. He then apologized for it, and became bitter if I brought it up in the future, but at this point, I had a nagging inkling that sexism was deep-rooted in his upbringing and would continue to show itself. I must note that after discontinuing use of BC and also using another method of BC did not affect how I react/speak in arguments, not that it matters.

In May 2019, I moved out of the Anaheim apartment and into a Brea 1-bedroom unit. Within a month, Daniel had moved in with me. Now that we were together 24/7, his substance abuse became evident to me. He smoked marijuana multiple times a day, whether it was multiple bowls of leaf or multiple hits of wax. His lungs were bad since he was a child from a persistent asthma, and did not seem much better now unless he stopped smoking for an extended period of time. My friend Linda had slept over one night and had commented on how much he smoked weed (considering she was the friend I considered to be the biggest partier in college). I remember telling him to stop smoking as much throughout our relationship, with little success occurring. One conversation we had, I recall him saying he knew I wanted him to stop smoking, but if I had treated him better, he would have been able to quit.

We were also still drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. I knew how it was affecting my health and my job performance, but I let myself continue. (Some days I would show up to work extremely hungover, but would be too nauseous to be able to work and had to take a sick day. Some days, I persisted through the hangover, and would vomit in the bathroom. My stool was also regularly painful and watery.) By now, I was chasing a high that was usually fleeting, or would not even present itself. As a larger male, Daniel was able to handle his alcohol much better than me, and gained little weight and experienced little hangover. Apparently he had gone in for a check up, and his body was functioning perfectly fine. I do not know if he is unaware or simply in denial of the consequences alcohol has on a body with extended repeated use, such as with cigarettes, but he claims nothing will happen to him.

On 1/2/2020, the first police incident occurred. His cousin Yerin had come from South Korea for a visit. I decided to invite her over to the apartment after a day out in LA. As she was not visiting for much longer, I wanted her to have a typical American college party experience. The attendees were Daniel, his sister Sarah, Yerin, my friend Sean, and myself. We played Rage Cage, Beer Pong, and a drinking card game. Throughout the night, Daniel drank the most, but he was able to control his attitude and seemed fine to all of us. As the night was winding down, he seemed to have fallen asleep on a chair. We all helped him to the bedroom into bed, and returned to hang out in the living room. Upon hearing noises from the bedroom, I went to check on him and found him on the floor moaning. I asked Sean for help to put him back on the bed, but Daniel began acting strangely. He grabbed a nearby stool and began shaking it violently. He resisted Sean’s help and flew into a rage. He ran outside to the patio and seemed to collapse on the patio couch. As it was a chilly night, and he seemed incomprehensible, we decided to let him be for a little bit. However, he began yelling at the top of his lungs, and as we did not want him to disturb the neighbors, we decided to pull him back inside. He began yelling threats at us, that he would kill us, and I suddenly became afraid for our lives. All 4 of us tried pinning him down and quieting him, but he would not. The only way I was able to get him to stop yelling for a second was by choking him until he began to gag. Once he began gagging, I immediately let go and he would gasp for air. Once his airway was no longer blocked, he would begin screaming again. I repeated this several times, but we were all becoming exhausted and panicked. I ran to the bedroom and closed it, and searched the rooms for his guns. I found what I could and put them in the bathtub. Then I called 911 and asked for help, letting the operator know our address, his situation, and that there were weapons on premise. Once I was done calling for help, the cops had arrived. I went back in the living room and saw that Daniel had begun vomiting all over the floor and over a blanket his sister had shoved in his mouth to keep him from yelling. 3 to 4 cops had pinned him on the floor, and he seemed to have passed out. We provided all the information we could, and the cops searched the apartment for the guns. Finally the ambulance arrived, and as they began moving him onto a stretcher, he regained his drunken consciousness and began resisting and cussing out police and medical staff alike. They transported him to the ER at the nearest hospital in Yorba Linda, and we quickly followed suit with Sean driving. Once he was done being checked on by hospital staff, we were allowed to see him. He was sleeping soundly in the bed, and we did not receive any information about his blood alcohol percentage, or anything else for that matter besides “he shouldn’t have been binge drinking.” The rest of our party decided to go rest back at my apartment for the night while I stayed with him in the ER. After a few hours of allowing him to sleep, a doctor came over and tried to rouse him. Daniel woke up looking disoriented, saw the handrails of the hospital bed, and began violently shaking it. As he was clearly not back to a regular mental state, they allowed him to go back to sleep. Yet another few hours later, he woke up by himself. Now, he was back to normal and asked me why he was there. I explained the situation briefly, and he suddenly appeared to be angry (possibly a byproduct of being ashamed of himself?). He realized he was sitting in clothes he had wet himself in, and it took quite a long time for the doctor to arrive to release him. I was taken aback at how short his temper was, especially when he was in a position that should have humbled him to his senses. The doctor tells him to stop binge drinking and hands him an info packet about moderating drinking. Once he was allowed to leave and Sean picked us up, we all took turns berating him on his behavior the last night. He sat there stunned as he listened to our accounts, and was bewildered by how he was not sent to jail. I had not considered that probability, but as I’m writing this today, I wish the kind police had not shown such mercy. After that night, I thought I was going to break up with him the next day. However, the care and love Sean, Sarah and Yerin showed him after he returned the next day made me question myself... shouldn’t I be showing him an unconditional love as well? I shrugged off the thought. Everyone leaves and he tosses aside the info packet without taking a further look. Again, I’m stunned at this behavior... it’s going to be filled with stupid information of course... but where was his remorse?

Because this traumatic incident was so fresh on our minds, I told Daniel to stop drinking for at least 6 months. At first, he made excuses and tried to convince me otherwise, then unwillingly obliged... but not for long. Within a month, he was back to drinking excessively, and tried to hide it from me. We had a fairly full bottle of vodka from that night that I put away in our bedroom. I arrived home one day and noticed his behavior was very strange. He was easily irritated by me, and seemed to not remember what he had just said or done. It dawned on me that he was drunk and I asked him thus. He said he did not and continued to act haphazardly with me. I went into the bedroom and the bottle of vodka confirmed my suspicion - it was nearly depleted with perhaps 1/4 of the bottle remaining. I brought the bottle out and waved it in his face and asked him again if he had drank. He continued to blatantly lie... to my dismay.

I’m unsure of when, but we received our second police visit shortly after, this time unwarranted. We had both drank alcohol that night and had gotten into an argument. He was back to his own ways of using dominating body movements, raising his voice, being generally hard to deal with, and I had gotten sick of it. I stopped using my calm voice and stopped trying to navigate the conversation, as I usually do. I screamed back at him. Our neighbors had heard my screaming for the first time (obviously they had heard him yelling all the past times and thought nothing of it) and mistook it as me being the victim of domestic violence. The police arrived and talked to us separately to assess the situation. They told us to give each other space for that night, so we did. After that day, I vowed to quit drinking as a pastime with him.

After repeated pleas to stop drinking hard alcohol, to try to adjust him to not needing to get drunk by drinking beers with him, I have found nothing works. He has gone back to his way of thinking that he wants to get drunk, that his drinking has nothing to do with me, and that I was “acting like a parent” and had no right to tell him what to do. He expresses that he would never let that incident happen again, that he can manage his drinking, and that as long as he is not blackout drunk, he is a person whose behavior is not causing any problems. However, the moment he begins drinking hard alcohol, he gets extremely loud, cusses much more, and his mood becomes bipolar. I was tired of the alcoholic arguments, the repeated constant cycles of highs and lows, my own irregular mood while drunk, and decided to try to wean myself off of alcohol. As of June 2020, I have stopped using alcohol as a distraction, and no longer partake with him (I do drink a tiny bit if someone comes to visit us), while he continues his regular daily use.

Recent arguments have begun sounding similar with one main theme: I was not doing something that pleased him. Examples include using a word “incorrectly,” causing him to misunderstand me. Once he figured out how I was using a word, he would fly into a fury, telling me to stop using the word wrong, and becoming further enraged when I told him that’s just how I use the word. Another example is disagreeing with a way of thinking, and telling me how I think is wrong and that I need to change it. To put these things into perspective, we were discussing a recent episode of Terrace House. I casually mentioned the difference between the basketball player and the comedian was that the basketball player had succeeded in his career goals (he was playing professionally and had been playing since he was a child) and the comedian was a failure (the comedian had just begun his journey, but was severely tone deaf in what funny was). He immediately began to focus on my use of the word “failure,” and asked for my reasoning. Having been with him for long enough, I could tell this conversation was not going to lead to anything productive, and I asked him to drop it. This only further infuriates him, so I end up explaining my point - that someone who is not funny cannot magically become funny through practice. The comedian’s skits were obviously replicated from something that had made himself laugh, but he himself had never said anything funny. Upon hearing my explanation, Daniel sees this as an in to create an argument, and tells me why I’m wrong. He says the comedian had only just begun the journey to be a comedian, that the comedian had benefited from comedy when he was in a dark place and wanted to inspire others, and in no way was a failure. I tried to explain that this was merely what I thought, that I didn’t want to even talk about this in the first place, and that I still think the comedian was a failure. What Daniel got from this was: I was using the word failure incorrectly, my opinion of the comedian was incorrect, I need to change how I thought and talked to match what he thought and said, and that I was just too stubborn to believe him.

More and more of the way he treats me and the way he deals with his problems have begun reflecting his parents’ dynamic. According to his sister Sarah, his father had always been a heavy drinker, and I have heard from Daniel that he used to be a heavy cigarette smoker. When we were dating early on, Daniel said his father would go out with friends and drink, and arrive home when everyone was sleeping and vomit in the guest bathroom to avoid waking his wife. Sarah stated that while he drank a lot in the past, he has gotten better recently (past few years only) and does not drink quite as much anymore. Also, Daniel’s mother is someone who both Daniel and Sarah agrees has “given up” and listens to the father in whatever he wants.

Normal small arguments I think I would have been able to deal with more efficiently and more succinctly, but I had never encountered this domineering attitude in my life. I understand wanting to convince someone, especially your partner, that your point is right, but to go as far as to use your position and power to demand you to change was too much. I began trying this tactic: first explaining that we both have our own viewpoints, that we don’t need to agree with each other and that we can live with each other and still respect our disagreeing opinions. When that didn’t work (and often triggered him further), I was now weak-willed and would begin apologizing and agreeing with him because I was weary of fighting, not being heard, and just wanted to be on his good side again. After a few times of utilizing this method, he began saying something new: that I need to just stop and listen to him, because after being stubborn and defending my point, I would realize he was right and come to terms with how wrong I was. I was shocked, but I understood where he came from... if I was choosing to apologize, of course it seemed like I admitted defeat. I stopped using this half-assed method to end arguments and stopped agreeing with him just to soothe him. As of today, our arguments go unresolved. He has not agreed to my multiple requests to see a couples therapist. They begin by him getting mad at me for some reason, my unwillingness to agree with him, and we end up giving each other the silent treatment when an argument occurs. My depression has gotten at an all time low, and my search results are filled with looking up how to resolve issues, how to deal with a person with anger issues, how to deal with someone with addiction, how to deal with my own depression.

None of this excuses my poor behavior, my actions, my threats towards him. I am a human who gets angry easily, who has OCD and can’t control my nagging, and I make mistakes. I did used to threaten him that I would break up if he did not do x. I did tell him to leave when I was unhappy. I did use my “power” as the person whose name is on the bills. I am not saying I’m perfect, and that it is easy to live with me. However, nothing I have done is to the extent that he has, and I am not addicted to anything that has threatened our relationship, or the people around me. Out of helplessness, I have begun documenting his drinking habits, and may do so with the marijuana if it begins posing a problem to anyone besides him. As of now, only a few people know about what occurred in January, and only his sister Sarah knows about me pleading with him to stop buying hard alcohol. I do not want to break up with him. I see a wonderful person in him who I get along with exceedingly well. I still find him attractive, I still get butterflies, I still love him, but I do keep wondering if God is showing me all the signs, and I’ve been ignoring Him.

Post first written: June 2, 2020 Last updated: June 6, 2020

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kenkamishiro · 5 years

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20181116 Translation of Ishida and Takahashi’s interview with BuzzFeed Japan

It took me 3 days to translate this monster of an interview (~3.5k word count lol), but it’s finally done! My hands need a break after typing for so long...

Thank you to the interviewer Kashima Yui for asking some really great questions, and BuzzFeed JP for making this interview happen. I really enjoyed seeing Ishida and Takahashi banter back and forth, you can really tell that they’re great friends, and I’m happy to have witnessed a sliver of their relationship.

Also, I’m far from perfect, so if I’ve made a mistake or mistranslated something, please let me know.

Edit: Fixed a line from Takahashi saying, “You did it,” to “He got me.”

“I’ve always thought about quitting” - Author of Tokyo Ghoul and his sworn friend talk about their creative works and the troubles they’ve faced

Behind the scenes of Tokyo Ghoul’s final chapter, and what it means.

By Kashima Yui, BuzzFeed Staff, Japan

November 16, 2018

Over 37 million volumes of Tokyo Ghoul have been sold worldwide. During the 7 years it has taken to reach its conclusion - from the start of its serialization to July of this year - Ishida Sui has delivered an elaborately portrayed work with a profound story to the world at a tremendous speed.

This enigmatic mangaka has almost never appeared in the media, but there is a certain someone that he’s been influenced by.

That person is Takahashi Kunimitsu of österreich, who was responsible for the Tokyo Ghoul:re anime ending theme, “You of Paradise.” Ishida for some time had a phase where he would only listen to the music that Takahashi composed. “He’s the type who’ll say everything that’s on his mind,” he raves.

At the same time, Takahashi must have also been influenced in turn by Ishida, for he had stopped making music until he received a request from Ishida.

I thought that I would no longer be making music. Why am I...?

Sui-sensei lives in Fukuoka, and Takahashi-san resides in the Kanto region. How did you two first meet?

Ishida: We first met 3 years ago when I requested the opening theme “Incompetence” for the Tokyo Ghoul √A anime. I’d already received many proposals for the opening song, but I more or less shot them all down.

It was because I liked the former band the cabs that Kunimitsu-kun used to be a part of. Right around when I was drawing volume 7 of Tokyo Ghoul, I was pretty much listening to just one the cabs song, “Soldiers in February”, which might be why I’m so strongly attached to the band.

Takahashi: But by then, the cabs had already split up and I’d stopped being a musician.

Ishida: After Kunimitsu-kun took a break from being a musician, I kept an eye out on his SoundCloud (laughs).

Every now and then I’d see a new song uploaded, so I knew that he was still alive and well. Since I knew he was still making music I thought, “Couldn’t he compose music for Tokyo Ghoul too?”

I said that to the anime people about 100 times, that I wanted Takahashi Kunimitsu to make the opening. But because he couldn’t make up his mind, they turned me down 99 out of those 100 times.

Takahashi: That’s ‘cause I never got the news to begin with! Back then the manager of the office I was enrolled at suddenly said to me, “Something big’s happened.” No warning in advance.

Ishida: What do you mean I never told you, are you even hearing yourself right now? (laughs) But it really was an impossible request. Plus the fact that Kunimitsu’s band broke up and was now nonexistent.

Takahashi: I thought to myself that I’d no longer work in music, so I wasn’t willing to accept at the time.

I’d uploaded my music onto SoundCloud, but that page was just a personal space for myself rather than a place to market my music. So when I was approached about a collab I was thinking, “What are they talking about? Why me...?”

Along with the fact that I’d never read Tokyo Ghoul.

Were you scared?

Takahashi: I was terrified. It had already been 3 years since the band broke up, so I felt like I’d lost my ability to compose music. I was thinking, “What’ll happen if I can’t make it?” On top of that, that piece was on a much larger scale than anything I’d ever worked on. That made me anxious on a regular basis.

...but on the other hand, it felt like this was a sign telling me to keep playing music. I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but I thought that if I didn’t try here and now, I might not play music for the rest of my life.

I was extremely tight on schedule for “Incompetence”, the opening theme for Tokyo Ghoul √A, but at any rate I frantically worked on it in a frenzy, feeling more and more dead by the end of it. I didn’t read a single page from Tokyo Ghoul so that I wouldn’t get pulled in by it. The result...every single bad thing that had accumulated during my 3-year hiatus showed up all over the song.

Ishida: I basically like everything he composes, so when I heard the demo I thought it was pretty good. I was more than happy. But I have to admit, that song...is way too all over the place (laughs).

Takahashi: Even when I listen to it now I think it’s all over the place.

Did the two of you come to interact through the production of “Incompetence”?

Ishida: No...back then I just received the demo. After it was released, we talked about it on Skype, and that was probably our first ever conversation. After that, was it through Twitter DM or email?...I got a message from him that had an “at this time” kind of vibe, and that’s when we began talking to each other more personally.

[T/N: I’m not exactly sure what Ishida meant by “at this time”, but the word he used, “この度は” is a form of “now” that you’d use in formal/business speech, so perhaps he meant that Takahashi’s message to him felt formal.]

The extent of our conversation for several months was just exchanging texts back and forth, but one day we unexpectedly began voice chatting through Skype. And then Kunimitsu-kun declared out of nowhere, “I am light.” (laughs)

Takahashi: I was overly concerned about my own image, so I’d try to crack jokes or else I’d have a hard time making conversation.

Ishida: I thought he was acting like an extremely gloomy person because he felt like it. Back then that dark part of me was also prominent, so when I tried talking all emo I’d get told, “I’m light.” (laughs)

Takahashi: I told you, that’s just me talking a lot and making jokes.

Ishida: After that, we’d talk on Skype once every month or two. One time we talked for around 6 hours.

Takahashi: Until morning. This guy talks while he works, you know, so he can blabber on for a long time.

Ishida: Funny enough I make more progress if I have someone to talk to while I’m working.

A mangaka and a musician talking on Skype night after night

And that doesn’t reduce your ability to concentrate? Since when you’re talking over the phone there are moments where you have to think about the person you’re talking to.

Ishida: It depends on the work. There’s a term in the manga industry where you’re just moving your hands. The “usual work”, should I put it? The “usual face”, the “usual composition.” When I’m doing that kind of work, I’ll often listen to someone talk, watch TV, or listen to music.

What do you talk about?

Ishida: About creative works, among other topics. Recently we’ve been talking about death matches.

Death matches?

Ishida: A type of fiction where a group of people are forced to kill each other off, you’re guaranteed to find one in any convenience store. Because the death match is such an excellent format, it’s easy to draw and sell in any era. But if the author relies too much on that format, the story will fall apart without them even realizing it...that’s my opinion on it.

The most interesting death match is still “Battle Royale.”

Takahashi: Rigid formats will always exist in any kind of media, including in music. It’s fine if you put a story into that template for starters, that’s what a countless number of creators are aiming for.

Ishida: The format itself isn’t bad, but if you rely too much on it, it no longer becomes your own creation, and the work ends up becoming sloppy and excessive.

When you’re talking things over with each other, are you ever influenced by the other person?

Ishida: I am. Whether it’s music or manga, I realized that there are many factors that I can relate to in terms of creativity, even if I may not be an expert in those fields. When I’m talking to Kunimitsu-kun, it makes me wonder if I can connect with people working in other genres. We can have discussions without building fences between one other.

What about yourself, Takahashi-san?

Takahashi: Objectively speaking, Ishida-kun is a very successful person. In the past I would always hold feelings of inferiority towards those successful people.

But talking to him...I realized that he was a normal person. It might just be by chance that Ishida is normal, but how should I put it, we suffer in similar ways. In that sense I’ve become more open-minded and changed how I think about people running on the front lines.

...I’m a professional too, after all. Since I’m a creator, the last thing I can do is call professionals fools.

I once gave up on music. Ishida Sui has kept going.

Takahashi-san, why did you stop being a musician in the first place? I heard that just before the cabs tour you suddenly disappeared.

Takahashi: ...that’s right. I caused a lot of trouble for many people, especially the band members, so I can’t talk much about it...just that I ran away like a fool. That’s why I thought I wouldn’t be working on music anymore.

After you kept composing music in your “personal space”, you received news of a collaboration. Have your thoughts changed on this matter?

Takahashi: I suppose so. When it comes to anything concerning Ishida Sui, there are two things that have affected me the most. The first is that the act of continuing on no matter what is worth its weight in gold, and to not object to it.

Ishida: It’s a huge feat, putting things out with no regard to its shape or form. I feel it even more since I’m not working on a serialization anymore. Whoever can accomplish this is truly remarkable.

Takahashi: I’ve already given up on music once, so I’ve got some very strong feelings regarding this.

And one more...because Tokyo Ghoul really felt like it reached its conclusion, I realized that “ending things properly” and “continuing” can both be considered equally wonderful.

What do you mean by “ending things properly”?

Takahashi: You know what Ishida-kun said when we first met? “I’d like to end Tokyo Ghoul by turning it into a complete train wreck.”

Ishida: You said you’d demolish it for me (laughs).

Takahashi: But when I actually read the final chapter, it had a pretty clean ending. "He got me...” I thought.

I’ve always thought about quitting

Takahashi: I find it frustrating that I was given the right answer without feeling like I earned it. Here I am strolling on the sidewalk, and before I know it Ishida-kun’s racing down the road...that’s what it feels like. That’s what I was heavily influenced by when I was making “You of Paradise.” How valuable “ending things properly” can be.

You’ve already mentioned how important it is to keep on going, but Sui-sensei, you continued to work on your serialization for 7 years. Did you ever think about quitting?

Ishida: All the time. I underestimated how taxing manga and magazine serializations were.

Why is that?

Ishida: I wonder...I think it was only after I realized that I could rely on other people that I really began to enjoy making manga. The conclusions I came to on my own were mostly self-contained, and I no longer felt that it was fun drawing manga alone.

But I found another way after asking around. And it only took about 6.5 years (laughs).

Have you been worrying on your own until then?

Ishida: This is a personal problem, but I didn’t want to tell anyone about how the story would unfold. I also considered the editor-in-charge as a reader, so I wanted to keep it a secret. In that case, what am I supposed to discuss with the editor? I can only talk about superficial things...that’s what I did for the longest time.

And though I’d been so eager to stop, I said that I wanted to keep going a bit longer during the last half-year...which was why I kept dropping off the manuscripts late every week. It seems that the printers always had to wait until the very last minute for my manuscripts.

The final chapter of Tokyo Ghoul was meant to be a train wreck

Ishida: I’d originally planned to finish it December of last year, but I said, “I’m sorry, I need another 3 months.” I increased the extension bit by bit, and I ended up lengthening it by about 6 months.

When I told the editorial department that I’d be done in 10 chapters, they prepared the cover page of the final chapter’s issue. But right before the deadline I told them, “I’m sorry again, I need 3 more chapters…”

Takahashi: I was reading that issue of Young Jump where it was supposed to end in 10 chapters. I was completely deceived (laughs). I saw the cover and it said, “Tokyo Ghoul climax.” So I thought, “Is it finally over?” but when I read it it just kept going on.

Ishida: When I told them I needed 3 more chapters, it was too late by then. Most likely every department was under chaos then, but I hope you can sympathize with the Young Jump editorial department.

Is that the reason why Tokyo Ghoul was on the back cover of the final chapter’s issue?

Ishida: It is. Thanks to the kindness of the editor-in-chief, he suggested that Tokyo Ghoul could get a cover if it was on the back.

I often see final chapters on the front cover, but it’s kinda cool to have it on the back instead. It might even be better to have the reader see Kaneki and Touka on the back so they can read it and think, “It’s really over.” It wasn’t what I was necessarily aiming for, but thanks to the editor-in-chief’s stylistic sense it made that back cover possible.

The final chapter went from a train wreck to a happy ending. Did you have a chance to change your mind?

Ishida: Probably...once I was aware that the ending was approaching, I lost all meaning of value behind a train wreck ending. At first I thought, “Let’s shock everyone and make myself disappear,” but then I realized that I was misconstruing that as cool.

Nonetheless...the endgame had some parts that were definitely messy, but I changed them to be positive. I’m fine with it not being good, as long as it’s got some definitive answers. That happy ending is also a train wreck in its own way (laughs). I thought that that kind of train wreck would be more interesting.

Takahashi: That ending completely shocked me. “He got me,” I uttered.

Communicating, continuing, ending

How did you feel when you were asked to collaborate with Tokyo Ghoul once again for “You of Paradise”?

Takahashi: As we got to know each other, we’d inevitably talk about the anime. I couldn’t refuse when I was asked to compose the ending song when I’d been watching the course of the final chapter from up close, and been utterly deceived and shocked by it.

...but I was scared.

Why did you think that, even though you achieved it last time without any major hiccups?

Ishida: I think it’s that feeling of, “did I strike gold?” There’s a lot of luck involved when you’re extracting gold from a lode. He was able to do this naturally during the cabs era.

Takahashi: I could compose music almost as if those lodes were exposed to the open.

Ishida: When I asked him to do “You of Paradise”, I got the feeling that he was thinking, “Where can I dig from...” I think he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to dig up that lode. Though I thought he was going to be fine.

How do you think it turned out when you tried composing it with that fear in mind? Were there any changes, compared it to “Incompetence”?

Takahashi: “Incompetence” being all over the place was because I was all over the place.

Up until now I’ve been making music and thinking that I can’t convey my ideas well. When I was in the band, I’d never really been able to express my thoughts so I gave up. I thought it was an impossible feat for me.

“Incompetence” was a song that I tossed out into the world, without any hope that I’d be able to express such a warped feeling. For a while after that song was released, I hardly ever listened to it.

But Ishida-kun and my friends who are still playing in bands...I’ve watched them keep on going or reach a proper end no matter how many years passed by. They’re doing it right.

I came to the conclusion that it was dishonest of me to give up on expressing myself from the beginning when the people around me have been working hard and doing their best.

Sui-sensei, have you ever thought that you couldn’t convey something when drawing your manga?

Ishida: I definitely have.

Takahashi: Sounds like you’ve given up.

Ishida: Maybe, since I have to draw every week. If I don’t follow a set routine then I become overwhelmed very quickly. This means that I’m working on one panel at a time, but I can’t convey my ideas well that way.

And it’s not the reader’s fault, it might just be that I’m not good enough. I couldn’t figure it out no matter how much I thought about it, so I gave up on the issue of not being able to properly convey my ideas.

To be honest, I don’t really feel anything from people reading my stuff. I can’t physically see you reading the manga, and I can’t gauge how you really feel about it by asking how many copies you have. It’s to the point where sometimes I’ll notice someone reading it at a convenience store and think, “I finally found someone.” It makes me think that being a mangaka is a lonely profession.

Takahashi-san, did you compose “You of Paradise” after reading the final chapter this time?

Takahashi: I read it this time (laughs). At first, the song I was using for the ending before “You of Paradise” was some ridiculously abstruse piece. After I sent it to Ishida-kun, he told me, “To be honest, it’s got the things that I want to express and it’s packed with lots of stuff, but I want you to compose a really simple piece that anyone can listen to and enjoy.” And so it got rebuilt and that’s the song you see today (laughs).

First, face what you’re trying to convey. Don’t whine about how you can’t convey your ideas if you haven’t tried in the first place. That’s what I thought. If you start thinking, “I can’t do it in the first place,” you’re running away. Take that first step. It feels like I can now pursue universal virtues.

Ishida: It’s a challenge, huh.

Takahashi: I’ve thought about just giving up in defeat. When I first saw that the final chapter that Ishida-kun wanted to make a wreck of had turned into a beautiful and happy ending...he seemed to have chosen to end it by having it speak to people universally. I was shocked by it, and the desire to go along with it bloomed in me. If Tokyo Ghoul can have that kind of ending, then I can make the music to match it.

You seem to have changed a lot as a person over the last 3 years.

Takahashi: I had a musical spirit who would always whisper in my ear, “You’re that kind of human being, aren’t you?” When it disappeared after having stuck around since my band days, I kept my distance from it. But I feel refreshed now since I think I should finally put an end to my issues.

Ishida: “You of Paradise” is the only song appropriate for that kind of ending. No other song can work.

After a 2 hour interview, Ishida and Takahashi vanished into the streets of Shibuya to go watch a live performance of cinema staff, to which Iida Mizuki, the guest vocalist for “You of Paradise”, is a member of.

As an aside, the name of the cabs live tour that was never realized after Takahashi suddenly disappeared, was called “You of Paradise.”

END OF THE INTERVIEW.

Translator notes:

I think I need to clarify on what I mean by ‘train wreck’. When I say it, it refers to something in ruins, complete shambles, destroyed. Essentially a tragic ending, akin to chapter 143 of :re, so Ishida was thinking about having TG end in tragedy. I chose to use the term ‘train wreck’ and ‘in ruins’ over ‘tragic’ because they have slightly different connotations (台無し vs. 悲劇). It’s the reason why I would consider TG chapter 140 (when Kaneki ‘dies’ to Arima in V14, looks like an end to a classic tragedy play) as tragic ( 悲劇) and TG:re chapter 143 (when Kaneki loses to Juuzou and Hanbee and shit hits the fan for everyone) as 台無し (train wreck/ruined).

#Tokyo Ghoul #Tokyo Ghoul:re #Ishida Sui #Takahashi Kunimitsu #osterreich #Interview #Translations #my translations

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fidelcastrato · 5 years

Text

Saturday Night Dead

A dull roar floods a small, derelict house and about a block of surrounding land all of a sudden, followed shortly by a piercing screech which acts as the conditioned stimulus to roughly 30-40 people between the ages of probably around 15 at the youngest, up to pushing-40, causing a mass salivation in response to the promise of real, proletariat, bullshit-free Punk Fucking Rawk™. Brando Murely himself sits on a cinder block outside the door, just enough out of the way of the crowd distractedly making its way inside, everyone in the middle of a conversation, turning around every few seconds to give their latest opinion on the eternal IHOP v. Waffle House crisis, shouting-match phone calls, drunken wobbling, stoned hobbling, and oh-that-sweet-cocaine's-a-calling. From Brando's arm dangles eazily-breezily a small bucket, perhaps formerly housing some domesticated plant, with the word "DONATIONS" written in sharpie on the side. He is only a few brainwaves away from REM sleep, that sultry temptress.

Avey and Fyo take their sweet time. The openers are about to play, now sound-checking, if you can really call it that (not to be rude, but the opening acts of these kinda shows were more often than not either local upstarts or local failures, and lacked some level of expertise in regards to acoustics, dynamics, levels and such), but they have both just lit a new cigarette. No worries, though; they've been around enough that they know the path straight to the front, if it should turn out that The Ushi Onis were worth front row listening.

Towards the back of the house stood in solidarity the introverts so in love with music, but so out of touch with people, the old farts who didn't really care anymore but still attended out of habit, the few (if extant) devout fans of another band on the line-up who just wanted to get it over with already, and the stray college kid; not any art or philosophy major, no, just some regular Joe (and hilariously enough, one independent study in "Crime and Punkishment", a locally famous zine, reported that 73.7% of these people were actually named Joe) who happened upon this utterly obscene proceeding via a stack of coincidence and misfortune--maybe they were there with some punk ladyfriend from class.

In the middle, by far the largest section, you could find pretty much anybody from anywhere. Regulars who still hear the heartbeat of the scene, newcomers enthusiastic but not enthusiastic enough to put themselves out for judgement if they happened to accidentally nod their heads a bit with the music (mortified.....), and that strange demographic that seemed to place itself starkly in the middle of all the aforementioned alignments; middle-of-the-roaders through and through, to the point where they have risen above the road, and the ideal of the road, and smugly glance at one another and then down to you as if to imply a transcendence which those of us who have ever experienced anything in extreme can never know of.

Front and center, ears blasted to bits and facial muscles entering anaerobic respiration due to excessive smiling, the All-Stars of the scene danced alongside strangers, either naïve or drunk. The frontmen of the most famous local bands, the influencers, both silent and megaphonic, the photographers, the beauties, the hype-builders, the next band, the people who arranged this show in the first place, all of them stood in almost equal amounts of admiration as the performing act themselves. The rich and famous of the DIY; the proletariat bourgeoisie; the broke stock brokers; the soothsayers and the fortune tellers; basically, the people you want to know.

"Hey, let's make a film tomorrow" says Fyo.

"About what?" from Avey.

"Who cares? Let's climb that billboard at the top of the hill. Let's hop on a train and record the city from like, some weird dutch angle, or something. Let's see how many cats can fit in one box."

"We could never find enough cats for that. All of our friends have like two cats at least, including me, and that still wouldn't be close to enough."

"Let's give the camera some 4-aco-dmt and see what happens."

"Easy on the Adderall, bub."

Fyo had a pretty publicly-known problem with stimulants, which he was recently combatting with a burgeoning benzodiazepine habit. Avey's personal dog hair was Kratom. Both of them partook in casual use of just about every recreational substance at this point, always especially eager to try something new. They still more or less had a handle on their sanity, but not without their eccentricities. Both had a deep love for consumption and creation of art, primarily music; between them they owned a veritable arsenal of digital and analog synthesizers, samplers, ancient MIDI keyboards, melodicas, and various novelty instruments collected over the years. Each had their own individual recording endeavors, as well as a joint operation making full use of their combined setup. They had played shows, Fyo more than Avey on account of having played in front of various kinds of audiences since the age of 15, from dull high school jazz band performances to the exact kind of venue they found themselves at tonight--in fact he'd played at this house several times already in the past year. “Holy House”, one of the few legit punk houses remaining in the city after a long string of misfortunes over the past two years lead to some places being shut down, others burning down, some simply forgotten about, living on only in the ink of flyers taped to the walls of just about every DIY art kid in the area--it was kind of like collecting baseball cards. Avey had played a couple of the more fleeting art spots once or twice, but was generally overcome with anxiety at the last minute.

Now three cigarettes in a row have been smoked, throughout yet more overly-anxious stim-fueled artistic brainstorming, both Avey and Fyo silently assuming that tomorrow would in reality consist of the same events as every other Saturday; recovering from the debauchery of the previous night, maybe with a half-hour or so of absent-minded musical improvisation.

The Ushi Onis had completed their set, and from what they heard from outside, it was agreed that their nonsense conversations were about on equal footing with the music, as far as time-wasting went. Not that they were bad, it's just.....it seemed as though they'd heard this same band hundreds of times, despite the fact this was their debut show. It seemed to Fyo, who had been in attendance for, shit, a decade now, that every show more-or-less went the same these days. You could even predict non-music related events. There was the guy who got way too drunk and was basically floating around the crowd, eyes only half-open, flailing around off-rhythm in a disconcertingly unhuman way during particularly intense performances--Fyo himself had been this guy on more occasions than he'd like to admit, as well as more occasions than he could literally remember. There was the creep getting kicked out for being creepy; that was a very strict rule for this scene, "NO CREEPS". You'd see it on basically any given flyer. House shows did tend to attract these creeps, what with the combination of pretty, young, and drug-addicted attributes of many of the female frequenters. Thankfully, Fyo had never been that guy. There was the kind of slapstick situation that occurred immediately after every band played, where the members of the other bands playing that night would come up and say "Hey, great set, what pedals do you use?" and then annoy the shit out of the poor guys just trying to fucking get their drums in the van, only for the same thing to happen to the original complimentary artists. Nobody ever learned their lesson. Nobody ever learned their lesson, forever and ever. This pretty much sums up the stagnation that Fyo has recently come to observe within the scene.

"Hey, I'm done here, if you are. Head back to my place?"

"Right you are."

The four-minute drive back to Fyo's apartment left just enough time to blair at obnoxious volume Avey's favorite song by The Mountain Goats (at least, his favorite song that day--the song changed frequently, but The Goats always remained Mountainous). On the way upstairs, Avey got a text from Tomie: "Beck pulled through. Pool party?"

So Avey said to Fyo; "Beck pulled through. Pool party?"

"Fuckin duh."

Tomie was a close friend as well as ex-girlfriend to both Avey and Fyo. Beck was their communal coke dealer. Fyo was the only person in The Crew whose apartment had a pool, and it was the deep depths of summer, so late night swimming was a common occurrence. Tonight, Tomie had brought Beck along (who surely had more coke, and anyone can see that hanging out with a coke dealer, who definitely had plenty of coke to spare, would certainly turn out to be a fun time--Fyo knew this from experience, as an old friend, Jericho, also happened to be a coke dealer before moving off to.....fuck-knows-where; Fyo wasn't sure WHY they hung out so much exactly, or why Jericho had given him so much free coke in those days; Jericho was gay, but Fyo didn't really feel like he could possibly be desirable enough to warrant such favor, especially with his [back then, at least] very socially awkward mannerisms, even after several lines of really honestly pretty great coke--although, Fyo [himself being hetero, this only now in the narrative needing to be made clear] usually thought the same thing about ladies he spent time with, and surprisingly often was proven wrong) as well as invited Fitch, who invited Les, who invited Beck, who invited Lil, who invited Vick, who invited.....

.....

Noujeff.

"Wait you say WHO the fuck is coming to my apartment???" Fyo demands answers.

"Shit, I'm sorry Fyo. I didn't know Vick was friends with him, don't know why he still is. We'll tell him to fuck off once he gets here, waste some gas at least. But hey.....The Crew here ain't gettin' any younger, so let's fuckin' get to it. Pick a record already."

The Crew was, in no particular order:

Avey, reserved but strong-willed and resilient, and disarmingly cunning; he once got Fyo, his on-and-off-again girlfriend Elise, and himself a free pass to this really exclusive music festival in what can only be described as an "experimental city"--FORM Arcosanti was the name of the festival (the town being just "Arcosanti"), located smack dab in the middle of the deserts of Arizona, where Fyo first glimpsed that now-out-of-reach image, occasionally dreamt or half-remembered, of a lone mountain, in the middle of one of the least forgiving deserts in an entire superpower-nation's worth of land, one of the hottest and driest places around, soaring so high into The Places We Cannot Reach, the great heights, the domain of myth and fiction more than anything, of a mountain seen from the road of a lonely desert which had a peak covered, even here in the frenzied peaks of July, the radioactive horror show burning of July, a peak covered in SNOW. Beautiful, nostalgic (and always nostalgic, for there was no "winter" in Arizona), almost, no yes certainly CLEANSING snow. The rest of the trip only got better. That is all we'll say of it, for now;

Fyo, the one whose thoughts we gain direct access to (to hell with a fourth wall; give me 50, 500, 5,000,000 more walls, and I will break them all), generally responsible, has a dependable job as a pharmacy technician, "almost" a real job, and two major flaws; here we move into

1.) Intense Manic Episodes On a Yearly, Predictable Basis

-----

Every year, in the period of time spanning between around March and June-Mid-July, Fyo would suffer an intense clinical episode of mania; he would become obsessive over ideas so obscure and opaque that he only sounded like a lunatic when describing them, and indulged in drug abuse as if suicidal, and more than once now had indeed proven to be so. Fyo would and did argue, however, that during these periods of admittedly (even by him) questionable ties to reality, his artistic output became noticeably higher in both quantity and quality than what was usually found in his "seasonal depression" (so-called) episodes during the months of October-February. No psychiatrist has yet explained this adequately.

2.) An Unhealthy Obsession With All Forms of Art, As Well As the Definition of Art Itself

-----

From a very young age, Fyo had shown great interest in art, and strangely enough but of course conspicuously naturally, surrealist art in particular. At 12, on a family vacation to Florida for the purposes of the (back then affordable even by the lower-middle-class family, with some planning) relaxation of the beach and the primal thrill of the Great Twin Amusement Parks, he devoted a day to visiting the Salvador Dali museum in St. Petersburg, Florida; a couple years later, the very first band he was in (at 15 years old) was named after Dali's "The Burning Giraffe". Then he gradually caught on to the growing web of obscurities, myths, exaggerations, half-truths, genuine enigmas, and philosophical contradictions that were accepted by some as truth, and saw the art embedded in life; and in the mirror, he saw the reflection of such, and in that he saw things that moved him in ways he was naïve to previously. That's how he got older. That's how he saw that the waking life was just as absurd as the dream. All that mattered was which space he occupied at a given time;

Tomie, as mentioned previously was both a close friend and ex-girlfriend to both Avey and Fyo. Each relationship was separated by such distance (spatially and temporally) that it really didn't matter, everyone had moved on cross-country and it was just nice to have people just fuckin' caring about each other, you know? Tomie was not afraid to bite into you in a very personal way, as long as she knew it would help you. She was a great ally to have in the world, if sometimes blunt; but this bluntness was out of a genuine kindness and invariably proved effective somehow. If you trusted anyone's advice, it was Tomie's;

Fitch, constantly in-and-out of jail for something or other, after so many years the circumstances blurred out a bit. Being eternally and self-admittedly impermanent, he always seemed almost as if acting in repentance to the best of his abilities; but around people like this, hope for repentance was laughable;

Lil, probably the most adult of the group, an ex-girlfriend of Fyo from back in the day, had worked her way to a very well-paying analytics gig. She still found herself hanging around with these wannabe artists and revolutionaries, for whatever reason; she was certainly always welcome, and that gave her a warm, content feeling.....

"Pick a goddamn record" says Lil.

Every time The Crew got together for some midnight coke-fueled swimming, someone got to ceremoniously choose a record from Fyo's collection, off of which the cover of the cocaine would be inhaled. It was Fyo's night. He was having trouble deciding. The record that was chosen would also be played on the record player while the lines were being drawn and erased; the lines themselves were on the sleeve, the small but not ignorable visual component of the LP. He looked through his stack; Joyce Manor (played a show with them before they became big--frontman was kind of an asshole. No.), The Antlers (far too sad for shamelessly inhaled thrills), Talking Heads (no, we'll just end up putting "Once In a Lifetime" on repeat), no, no, no, no.....LCD Soundsystem? Hm. Yeah, this one. Sound of Silver, talk to me.

"Fuckin' finally. Okay let's get this train wreck a-rollin'."

Greed filled the eyes of everyone in the room. Along with record-choosing duties came the first line of the night. Fyo lays down one FAT fucking line, finely crushed almost down to the individual molecule it seemed, grabs the closest straw, leans over and looks down at the snowy mountain range here in the middle of the silver desert, and unflatteringly snorts with all his might, and feels each crystal immediately begin its own personal attack on his neurotransmitters, leans back to make sure everything falls into the mucous membrane, nothing wasted, except for Fyo himself, and steps back to fall comically onto the couch, a smile of contentment and even relief overtaking his facial expression as Nancy Whang chants "You can normalize. Don't it make you feel alive?"

This. This is the life.

#fiction #short story #drugs #punk #punk rock #diy #metamodern #metaphysical #arkansas #little rock #lcd soundsystem #surrealism #salvador dali #addiction

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polyakter-blog · 5 years

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Don't let drugs take control

Drug addiction among the youths nowadays turning into a severe social disease in the world right now. There are many the reasons for the widespread boom of drug addiction among youths. In order to find out the effects of drug addiction on the health of youths and how it’s affecting their contribution in the labor market and in society, two terms need to be defined, because the healthier the youths are, the more they will be self-employment and will be able to contribute in the economy and societal development.

Drug abuse is the excessive use of drugs without any medical purpose. Drug influences the working capability of a human body when consumed by an individual in a liquid, power, tablet or glue form. Drug abuse simply means excessive and persistent use, usually by self-administration, of any drug without due regard for accepted medical practice.

From my cousin story,

my cousin name is Rahul. Age is 25. Rahul lives in keraniganj which is very near Dhaka city. The distance between his area and the city is only 12km. through the distance from his area and the capital city is less but the living standard of people, their level of knowledge and their understanding are still lacing behind.

Rahul has completed his graduation in BBA from national university. He tried to take admission on MBA. Within these two-three month’s he has made some new friends in keraniganj.

he was thinking to start a business in his area. Initially, he didn’t know that some of the friends of him are taken drugs.

First, he started smoking cigarettes after being friend of them. Gradually, his family started to observe that, Rahul has changed. He started smoking cigarette in a regular basis now. Again, the thinning of the family was, maybe he’s smoking cigarettes for the influence of his friends. But he will stop it overtime. It won’t be a big deal. But, it didn’t stop here. He Rahul started to drink alcohol now.

As a boy of a well to do family, his father used to bear his expenses. Then, he started to take money from his father and spend it with his friends for heroin, cocaine and alcohol. He never listens his family. His family then thinks, their son would never come out of this dark world. He could never leave his friends. After a long period of time, they thought through the discussion to other family members to send his on-drug addiction treatment center which is a rehab. Then his family admitted him there. He stayed at the rehab for six months. Then, he became completely fit. Gradually, he started to obey his parents, which he didn’t do earlier. He used to say his prayers properly. He even started his business properly. He stopped being friends with the drug-addicted people. His family changed their address from the place where, they used to stay. now, he bears the expenses of him and his family.

If his family used to earn him for not smoking, maybe he would never go to rehabilitation center. Moreover, it can be contrasted to the concept named broken windows theory. This theory refers to solve the problems before becoming server.

Reason for drug addcition :

WHO(world health organization) presented five basic reasons that might take people towards drug addiction:

They want to feel grown up and make their own decision.

They want to fit in.

They want to feel good.

From the tendency to take risk and rebel; and

In order to satisfy their curiosity.

Among several factors, drug availability and peer pressure can also be seen as the reason for drug addiction and destructive behavior. In this stage, parents and society are seen by the youth as first line of defense as they prevent them from drug addiction. As it is hampering the mental and physical health of youths, it’s deriving the economy from getting capable workforce.

Conclusion: From the start of this conversation we can see the negative effects of the drugs that can have on mental and physical body of a human being. People with drug addiction make their lives measurable on their own hand. When a part of the society starts to fall, the greater chance is that society should also behave in a imbalanced manner, and the whole structure of the society may deteriorate. Lot of people do not understand that why people take drugs as there is not any scientific explanation behind it . As there is no specific scientific explanation that how the drug affects the human brains, so it would be helpful if conscious peoples helps them to live a better life.

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lxveille · 6 years

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eye of the storm

seventeen ensemble & reader

word count: ~ 5180 warnings: mild use of profanity; mentions of misdemeanor crimes a/n: coauthored and graphic by the amazing @minigum; au inspired by the tv series misfits

When you were sentenced to community service, you had no way of anticipating just how much it would live up to the promise of being a life changing experience -- even on day one.

You know your morning is off to a promising start when you spend much of it wondering how many good days begin in orange jumpsuits while wearing one. “So,” a woman starts, addressing everyone. Despite having the kind of authority afforded on sheer principle of being the only one there not resembling a traffic cone, Probational Officer Kim looked disinterested at best. You didn’t blame her, to be honest – she probably had better things to do then to babysit a bunch of small-time offenders. There’s seven of you lined up in a row in front of her, expressions at varying degrees of discomfort on everyone’s face. Some, like the pretty boy next to you, looked just as bored as Kim did, while others seemed as relaxed as anyone would be while trying to be inconspicuous about swallowing something far too spicy. “Let me get this straight,” her tone is so unironically matter of fact that any chance that existed of her finishing her sentence with I’m not is next to zero. Not that you thought she would in the first place, but she was clearly not in the mood to joke around. “You guys are ruining my morning, and I’m sure I’m ruining yours, too.” “You’re not ruining ours!” Someone pipes up, all eyes flicking towards the speaker. His voice is far too bright for the early hour, though you had to admire his attempt to lighten the mood. He’s even grinning, toothy smile pushing his already noticeable cheeks forward into more prominence. “Okay,” Kim does not look impressed, something that causes the joviality in his posture to wilt to sheepishness. “You guys are ruining my morning, and I’m not ruining yours, but I will be. Unless you like picking up trash.”

Each of you is handed a trash bag and a grabber, with more trash bags nearby should you need it – and you will, judging by the fact that the park you’re in is more of a haphazard rubbish heap than anything else. It was almost as if the people responsible were trying to aim for literally everything but a bin. “You’re here because each of you has screwed up.” Her words lack the kind of accusation usually present in a reprimand, a clear indicator of how long she’s been doing this for. “I don’t know how, and to be honest, I don’t care how. The only thing I care about is you all getting the job done. So, get it done and I’ll be able to dismiss you sooner rather than later. Simple enough, right? Let’s not make this harder that it has to be.” With a comment related to how she’ll check up on you in an hour or so, Kim disappears towards the direction of the nearby community centre. An awkward silence settles in the wake of her departure. Her instructions, while clear, hadn’t quite gone into depth about the extent of the park that needed cleaning, and this one was big enough to get lost in.

Someone optimistic could perhaps claim this was an intentional team building exercise, considering the camaraderie that currently existed was built on a shaky foundation of crime without the excessive commitment. Someone could, but you had your doubts – the more realistic explanation was that Kim most likely didn’t care enough to be more specific.

“As far as first impressions go, that could’ve gone better.” You’d decided that the only thing worse than an awkward silence in a one-on-one conversation was one shared between a group of people, but that still doesn’t quite prevent the momentary flare of anxiety at having six heads whip towards you at once.

Thankfully, your attempt at breaking the silence works. “If you wanted to make a good first impression on our probational officer, not having her as a probational officer in the first place would be a good start.”

What stands out the most from the person that’s decided to respond to your comment is the way he’s decided to wear his uniform. Black lines of marker are scrawled all over the article of clothing in drawings, though you’re not close enough to determine what of. It’s an edgy look, but one that suits him.

You go to respond, but someone gets there first. It’s the one who tried to gain some points with Kim through a winning smile alone. “She probably just needs time to warm up to us,” he says. A bold statement, considering you were literally all delinquents to some degree, though you can somewhat admire the harmless enthusiasm behind it.

“She might need more than that if we continue standing here.”

Someone else cuts into the group conversation. He’s distinct from the rest of the group in that unlike the rest, he’s only got his jumpsuit half on, the sleeves of the garment tied at waist height to expose his torso as well as tank top he’s worn underneath. He’s in agreement, telling you – and the group by extension – that you’re right. “It’ll probably be easiest for us if we split up.”

When everyone turns to look at him, Seungcheol, as he introduced himself, explained that he frequented this park enough to know that it was split into four areas: the playground, the skatepark, the riverbank and the open grass.

The first three could probably be dealt with in pairs (or more, considering the odd amount of people here), and as for the lattermost, everyone could tackle it after dealing with their assigned area. No one protests, some even offering vocal agreements, most likely relieved at having a clearer idea of what to do.

Of course, before the problems of organizing partners could be delved into, there was one more thing you all had to do first – introductions.

Literal sunny side up – at least in amounts of cheer alone – is Soonyoung. He seems the friendliest out of this motley bunch, mainly by virtue of being the only one you’ve seen actually smile. Still, you couldn’t quite find it in you to blame the rest for their expressions of varying neutrality.

Minghao, the one who looks like a walking sketchpad, is next. Alongside his name however, he adds the crime that he’s here for – you’re not all that surprised to find out he’s doing time for vandalism. It’s entirely believable, considering the current state of his uniform, but something about the way he carries himself has a part of you that is surprised at the fact that he got caught.

Vernon appears to be zoning out a little when it’s his turn, prefacing his name with an apology about how he’s still half asleep. He’s the second one to reveal his misdemeanor, apparently following Minghao’s lead, and it’s a case of trespassing. To his credit, he didn’t sound bothered by it whatsoever.

The bored pretty boy from earlier is Jeonghan. While you sense less disinterest from him, there’s still a debonair quality to his presence that makes him just feel distant in the way one would rather admire beauty from afar as not to spoil anything. He’s nearly too refined to be here except for the fact that, well, he is here, so you wonder what exactly he did that got him community service.

Wonwoo is last, and his introduction is perhaps the shortest – not much else other than a name. It combos with his sharp, feline-like eyes and blank features in a manner that is most definitely intimidating. You can’t quite tell if the way he’s looking at the group is with a glare or not, but getting confirmation wasn’t quite on your to do list, considering it made for a poor ice-breaker.

With that out of the way, Seungcheol begins to assign people to areas. You listen for the most part, but are also caught up in wondering how long it’s going to take you to remember everybody’s names.

Aside from Wonwoo at the playground with a trash grabber sounding like a Cluedo accusation, it is the current state of your circumstances for the next while.

He had offered you a nod when Seungcheol suggested the two of you as partners since you were standing beside each other (Jeonghan was as well, but he’d ended up with the de facto leader instead), enough that you began to reassess your opinion on him from thinking he’s intimidating to someone who simply had an unfortunate case of resting bitch face.

“So, what are you here for?” You ask, beginning to fill your bag with various forms of litter. It’s evident from the stuff you find that this playground is a hot spot for those too old to use the playground for its intended purpose – fast food cartons, beer bottles and the like all make their way into your bag.

“Unlawful assembly,” is his initial response. It’s the only other words he’d said aside from his introduction earlier, not nearly enough time for you to get used to the deep timbre of his voice.

“Really?”

A hum of affirmation. When you press him for more details, making sure to assure him that he wasn’t obligated to tell you beforehand, he continues, encouraged by your active interest. ‘I was at an environmental protest and the authorities were called on us.’ He’d been one of the ones that had gotten arrested, but this information didn’t seem to trouble him too much, considering this admission had lacked any bitterness.

“And the protest? How did it turn out?”

“Good, I think.” They had at least put a stop to the immediate plans regarding deforestation, though Wonwoo does mention that he’s not quite sure how long for. If it came down to it, there’ll be another protest, and he’ll definitely attend that one was well.

“That’s some poetic justice for the trees,” then, after a brief pause, you decide to add, “which would be… poet-tree, wouldn’t it?”

The joke feels a little flat coming out of your mouth, but Wonwoo chuckles, nose scrunching in an amusement that, in the best way possible, extinguishes any lingering assumption about him being intimidating. “Poet-tree, huh. I like it.” He wonders next if that made him a regular Edgar Allan Mistletoe.

“Mistletoe isn’t a tree, though,” you point out.

“No, it’s a tree parasite,” Wonwoo agrees. “But it was the only thing I could think of.”

“Hm,” you make an exaggerated noise of mock thought, relishing in the sudden sense of ease you felt in talking to him. “Points for trying, I suppose.”

Wonwoo laughs once again, and you find yourself smiling too. “I appreciate it.”

The two of you continue chatting in a similar manner while cleaning up the playground – he listens attentively when you go through the reason why you got assigned to community service, you call him over to get his opinion on a particularly loud and confusing scrawl of graffiti (he tells you it’s art, but the end tapers off into a question). It’s enough to occupy you that you don’t notice the sudden ominous quality to the sky, a clear omen visible in the dark clouds.

You do, however, notice when the first of the hailstones begin to hit.

It starts small, with pricks of rain and small pellets of ice pattering around you and making you wince when a few strike your shoulders. You lift one arm up to shield your eyes from the sudden hail as you take in the grayed sky with a dumbfounded expression.

“This wasn’t on the forecast,” Wonwoo comments beside you, his trash grabber an awkward extension of the arm he has up in a position similar to your own.

You might have had time to appreciate the vague humor of such a plain statement of the obvious if for the sudden crash of a much larger, more concerning hailstone on one of the benches across the playground. It’s larger than a fist. From this distance, you hope it’s just a trick of the eye that has you thinking it’s actually put a dent in the wood. Wonwoo’s sudden exclamation of “oh, fuck!” has you thinking it might not be.

It takes a second, larger chunk of ice impacting to jolt either one of you into movement.

The bottles inside your trash bag clatter when you drop it in favor of running for cover. Wonwoo’s on the same page, though his his plastic bag makes it several steps with him before he abandons it entirely, some waste spilling out when he does.

So you find yourself cramped under the playground slide with Wonwoo, looking worriedly up at the low-hanging clouds.

A crack of thunder seems to announce the full force of the storm, as the pattering against the metal overhead becomes an insistent, unnerving, and uneven rhythm of heavy sleet pelting down.

You turn to look at Wonwoo, and find him looking almost inquisitively at the slide overhead. He has one hand against it to help steady himself in the crouched position and frown on his lips that has you worried. You try to shift into a more comfortable position, but with the slope where you’ve ended up there’s no way for you to sit without at least your shoulder pressing uncomfortably against the metal.

Somewhere else in the park, you think you hear the sound of someone else shouting indistinctly. You swallow thickly and flinch when it’s followed by particularly loud bang of ice against the slide overhead.

“Did you see that?” Wonwoo asks. His gaze is fixed on the sky somewhere to the left of where you are.

“What happened?” As you shake your head, you hear something almost like a sizzle in the air, and nearly add on a question of if he’s hearing it too.

You don’t get the chance, nor does Wonwoo get around to answering your question. At least not before there’s a simultaneous roar of thunder and a jolt shock of electricity through your body.

For a moment, there’s absolutely nothing at all. Your mind is blank and you don’t see or hear a thing.

When you come back to consciousness, it’s to the feeling of rain on your face and a dull, vibrating and burning sensation in your shoulder. Sitting up slowly, there’s a whirl of dizziness that keeps you from spotting Wonwoo right away. He’s in a similar looking state, drenched and pressing one hand to his forehead as he coughs a few times.

You call his name once, though your throat feels impossibly dry and it comes out more like a croak. You try again, louder, and push yourself onto your feet slowly.

“I’m alive,” he replies. Perhaps mostly as an affirmation to himself of the fact more than anything else.

“We have to get out of this,” you decide, still not entirely certain if you’re seeing or walking straight. Wonwoo nods when he meets your eye.

To be frank, you can’t exactly place if you’re running or walking towards the community centre. You still don’t feel entirely all together. A fair feeling, you’d like to think, for someone who’s just been electrocuted on their first day of community service.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan are already in community centre when the two of you stumble in. You spot Seungcheol first, namely because of the pacing he’s doing just inside the the glass doors of the entrance. Jeonghan is sitting in one of the plastic chairs by the vending machine, hair sticking to his forehead and a splatter of mud on his jumpsuit that suggests getting back here hadn’t been entirely without issue for them, either.

The door clicks back into place behind Wonwoo, and for a moment the sound the ongoing storm is all there is in the room as the four of you look each other over. Seungcheol breaks the silent exchanges of looks by asking if you’re both alright. Wonwoo must not be any more up for explaining you both might have just nearly died than you are, because you both brush the question with half-hearted nods and assurances that you were okay.

“Did you see the others out there at all?” he asks next.

For the first time, you let yourself wonder if the shouting you’d heard shortly before your shock had been one of them. Through the fuzz of your current state, you can only clearly recall Soonyoung’s voice; probably in part thanks to the impression his attempt at lifting the mood earlier had left. It’s difficult to say it’s a match to the distant panic you’d overheard, all the same.

It isn’t long that the small group of you have to wonder where the three missing offenders are. Soonyoung throws the door open not long after with such force that the clatter makes for good competition against the claps of thunder outside. He’s followed by the lanky boy you remember having introduced himself as Minghao, and a whole puddle seems to accompany their frazzled entrance.

“Is Vernon here?” asks Soonyoung, panting and missing almost all the optimism he’d seemed to have earlier.

“He was with you, wasn’t he?” Jeonghan pipes up, still sitting with his forearms resting on his thighs.

“He was,” confirms Minghao, and there’s a grimness in the combination of his expression and his of the past tense that makes you glance around at the others nervously. “We… don’t know where he went,” he elaborates at last.

Seungcheol stares for a moment at the pair of them before asking what happened. “We don’t know! We were all heading back and then – I don’t know!” Soonyoung gives what can only be described as a frantic shrug, hands waving wildly. In the corner of the room, Jeonghan stands up to come in a little closer to the conversation. “He just was gone all of a sudden!”

“Did you look for him?” There’s a definite tone of concern in Seungcheol’s voice. You might have admired the the care he’s showing for a relative stranger if not for the small dose of dread creeping up your spine as the expressions around the room somehow grow more serious than they already were.

Minghao explains that they tried, and Soonyoung cuts in the middle of it to gesture frantically at the windows as evidence for why they didn’t stay out there. Why they’d hoped somehow he’d gotten back here without them seeing him. You can’t exactly blame them.

“We can’t leave him out there,” Wonwoo chimes in.

“We can’t go back out there,” you reply instantly, provoked by the lingering stinging on your shoulder.

Soonyoung sends a worried frown Minghao’s way before starting again. “It’s not like we want to leave him out there though! Did you guys see some of the hail that was coming down? What if he’s… ”

“Then why did you come back without him in the first place?” Wonwoo’s voice comes out a touch more accusatory than you imagine he intended. Or at least he’d hardly given you the impression of being the sort who would try to be combative in a time like this in the brief time you’ve known him thus far.

“We’ll go back out there!” Soonyoung reacts instantly. There’s enough distress evident in his voice that you suspect he was feeling guilty before Wonwoo even spoke up.

Jeonghan frowns, folding his arms and sending a glance from the glass-paneled doors to Seungcheol, who is already starting in more sharply on how charging back out into the storm is far from being a good idea.

You close your eyes. The argument stops. Not only the argument, but the thudding of the storm as well, along with the faint buzz of the overhead lights you hadn’t even noticed had been there until it had stopped.

Your eyes open to find it all to be true. Impossibly true. Everyone and everything is still. Soonyoung’s mouth is still parted in the midst of his words; Seungcheol’s hand is lifted, frozen at an unnaturally still place in the air, in the middle of a gesture to try to quiet the others. You turn and Wonwoo is a similar frozen state, eyes unblinking. It’s as if suddenly they’ve all been replaced with wax figures of themselves from only a moment before.

It’s so entirely still that you’re nearly afraid to move. It almost feels like you shouldn’t be able to. But you lift an unsteady hand to your face and take a small step forward all the same. You start slow, walking into the middle of the small circle of new acquaintances and looking desperately for any sign of movement. You step closer to Minghao. Even his hair is stuck still, halfway back to falling in place after he’d ran a hand through it nervously. Your hand presses tentatively against his shoulder, your mind starting to spin from the need for anyone respond at all. His body shifts just slightly with the pressure you apply, but there’s no sign he’s aware of it at all.

A heavy, shaking breath passes your lips. You pass Jeonghan to get to the door and press your hand against the glass in dismay when you look outside.

The storm has stopped, but it hasn’t ceased. Rain and hail alike are halted midair, hanging like ominous ornaments without strings or hooks. An expletive slips out with the rest of the air from your lungs. You bend forward and press the heel of your palm to the bridge of your nose. This can’t be happening.

It simply can’t. This isn’t what reality is.

You try to take in a calming breath, but your mind is still whirring, and your heart racing.

You have to get a grip on yourself.

You start counting to five over and over inside your head, and insist you inhale and exhale to the steady rhythm of it. Confusion is still front and center of your mind, but the technique manages to trick your heartbeat into evening out, and loosens some of the worrisome knots in your gut.

There’s a thud of hail and a heavy drumming of rain. Soonyoung is finishing his sentence, and Seungcheol is telling him they all have to calm down.

You whirl around, hand falling to your side, in time to see Minghao stumble slightly to his left before finding his balance, his brow creasing some at this sudden bout of unsteadiness.

Jeonghan catches your wide-eyed gaze when you look his way. He frowns, and glances back to the empty spot by Wonwoo’s side before shooting you another look.

“We won’t be able to help him if we go out there now,” Seungcheol declares, “There will only be more of us in danger is we rush out in that storm again. I don’t like it, but we have to wait for at least the hail the let up.” There’s an authority to this tone that seems to convince Soonyoung.

It becomes a tense waiting game from there, and you spend most of it still too distracted by the oddity you’d just experienced to take much note of what scattered and worrisome conversation there is between the others. You do notice when Minghao sits up and remarks that the storm stopped.

The lot of you look towards the doors with varying degrees of surprise. But it’s true. The sky is still overcast, and some of the clouds continue to look ominous, but the downpour has turned to nothing more than a sprinkling, and there’s not a single hailstone to be heard rattling against the windows.

“I’m going to look for him,” is Minghao’s second announcement. You volunteer to go with him before you can think it over.

“I’ll come too,” Jeonghan offers, standing up from the same folding chair he’d been in when you’d first took shelter in the lobby.

“We’ll keep an eye out here in case he shows up,” Seungcheol agrees to the plan with a small, firm nod.

The wind is still heavy with humidity and an unseasonable chill as the three of you set out. Hail littering the pavement crunches under your shoes, and you try not to think of the possibility that the storm could pick up again.

Whatever anxious thoughts your mind can summon are put aside when Jeonghan asks if you’re alright, with something suspicious lying just beneath his tone. You stop scanning the surroundings for another orange jumpsuit to look his way, and a stone of uncertainty settles in the pit of you stomach at the look you find on his face. It’s almost the same as the glance he’d given you when everything had clicked back into motion; though perhaps more intense this time around.

“You seemed off in there,” he elaborates his reason for asking. You consider telling him he hasn’t known you long enough to know if you’re off or not, but the frightful memory of a frozen world keeps the words locked inside your head. If Jeonghan doesn’t mean to set you on edge, he ought to have picked a different tone than the weighty one he’d just used.

“We’re all off. This storm is freaky,” Minghao cuts in before you stutter out anything in reply, and you give a sigh that’s a mix of relief and agreement. “Let’s just focus on finding Vernon for now.”

Jeonghan catches you gaze once more before saying, “Sure. You’re right.” You suspect he won’t be letting go of the subject forever, all the same.

The search party only makes it halfway back to the park when Minghao suddenly calls out Vernon’s name. Oddly, he seems to be exactly where you’d just been looking a moment before. It’s unclear how exactly you could miss someone wearing a color known for its visibility.

Vernon’s drier than you’d expect of someone who’d been stuck in storm as strong as the one that’s just passed. Stranger still is that when Minghao asks where he went, his answer is a half-panicked, half-dazed, “I’m not sure.”

“What does that mean?” you ask, but all Vernon can manage is a shake of his head as he leans forward, resting hands on his knees as if steadying himself. That’s when you spot some of the grains of sand clinging to the back of his jumpsuit. Jeonghan, you note, is looking him over with the same expression you’d been on the receiving end of only minutes before.

“Let’s get you back to the community center. Do you think you can make it?”

“I was at a beach,” Vernon admits instead of answering Minghao’s question.

The problem, of course, is that there is no beach nearby at all. Jeonghan gives a hum that suggests he’s thinking much the same thing. But instead he joins Minghao’s side and comments a simple, “Let’s just get back.”

Vernon pauses several times on the walk back, sometimes muttering apologies or confessing he feels like he’s about to get sick.

Thankfully, Vernon’s queasiness doesn’t manage to take any further hold of him. It still begs the question of where he nausea and the stray flecks of sand sticking to his clothes came from, but you feel far from ready to take those on.

Seungcheol opens the door urgently as soon as you’re approaching the entrance to the community center. He calls out to ask if Vernon’s alright; a reasonable question given the rough look of him. Minghao waits until you make it back inside to reply that he’s not feeling well, but seems to okay.

The door falls back into place while you and Jeonghan guide Vernon over to a seat. He keeps his head down and murmurs a quiet thanks.

“Was the door like that before or, uh… we’re you done for destruction of property?” comes a voice stuck that’s verging more on nervousness than humorous. Your brow furrows as you look up from Vernon’s paled face to give Soonyoung a questioning look and find he’s directing the question at Seungcheol.

It’s Seungcheol’s nervous glance down that draws your own sight to the pull-handle of the door. Or rather, to the prominent dent in the handle. It certainly hadn’t been there before.

“I —” Seungcheol doesn’t manage to come up with a full reply as he frowns down at his hand, flexing his fingers in disbelief. Wonwoo reaches for the handle himself, clearly trying to see if somehow it wasn’t as much of a feat as it seemed.

“Has anything like that ever happened to you before?” you speak up, uneasiness settling firmly into you for what must be the third time since the storm.

“Never,” is Seungcheol faint but certain reply.

A nervous tension fills the air in the silence that follows, glances exchanged between each other as each of you fails to find an appropriate response to the circumstance. That is, until Jeonghan sits up a bit straighter in his chair beside Venon.

“Something’s going on here,” he says, “First he disappears in the middle of the storm and comes back suddenly nauseous? Then you –” and he gestures a hand your way with the words, “ – appear across the room in an instant? Now, we’re putting dents in metal?”

“Just Seungcheol,” Wonwoo clarifies on the last point, much to the apparent discomfort of the boy in question. “What are you trying to suggest, then? None of that adds up.”

“But it has to somehow, doesn’t it?”

Silence settles back over the group of you in the wake of Jeonghan’s words. You contemplate telling them about what happened; about how from your perspective things didn’t go quite the way that Jeonghan had phrased it. It might not help, but it would be something, wouldn’t it?

The sound of footsteps down the hall jolt all of you to shift your stances some.

When Officer Kim appears in front of you, she comes to a stop with a half-surprised huh. “Good. You’re all here. At least you had enough sense not to say out in the rain.”

Rain? You think to yourself, wanting to call it an understatement.

Kim goes on, explaining how the extenuating circumstances mean you can all go home for the day, and how she expects to see you all back early tomorrow for day two. Her arms are crossed the whole time, her tone implying she’s only going through the motions. If it weren’t for a paperwork you’re certain must be involved, you wouldn’t be surprised if she would’ve been glad if one of you had been swept away in the storm.

She finishes her small lecture, but none of you move to leave. As prompts the probation officer to give each one of you a skeptical look over, unfolding her arms to gesture towards the doors like she’s shooing away a pest. “Well? You’re dismissed. You don’t have to stick around here.”

Slowly, the seven of you get into motion again. There’s a sense that the conversation you’d been in the middle of is far from over, but it’s unclear if any of you really want the opportunity to carry on with it.

All you can say for sure is that community service is off to a drastically different start than you’d anticipated.

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #sfwseventeen

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sanchez83mccain · 2 years

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serwis informatyczny dla biznesu The reason IT Outsourcing Might be a Fair Sphere Approach Outsourcing It is just a system everywhere selected theater group outsource certain expressions or perhaps factors regarding an organization's THIS regularity, that are afterward employed by the outsourcing visitors. Outsourcing is usually a for profit arrangement somewhere single company retains the services of an alternative tidiness to get the officer or vendor associated with a continuing living otherwise intended commotion that's for being made internally. The leisure interest necessitate outsourcing IT assistances like relevance outsourcing, catalog outsourcing, laptop or computer outsourcing, and also software outsourcing. Outsourcing IT can be advantageous or maybe prejudicial to be able to any regulation counting about how the item treated. Around the single employee, it allocates fee savings after that reduce overhead specifically for band that are not necessarily competent to shape or acquisition their particular data crux. Countless directors have faith in to facilitate getting through a great scarce company canister improve the measurement of your circle simply because do not need to produce a data heart or employ personnel who be familiar with member of staff serving at table, routers, wine waiter, replaces, and other THAT tools. Nevertheless, data spotlights stay costly to make with drive consequently employing unlikely specialists can be to a certain extent pricey. On top of that, the majority of visitors have THAT staff therefore it can sound like outsourcing This is a fritter away of reserves after the item essentially a moment then sacrificed storing resolve. Another help takes place of which that allows several bossies to pay attention to essence selling role. Because countless bossies showed the way multi-million dough customs, it is easy to walk distracted sooner than day-to-day gives out at what time you can find eminent strategic small business assessments surviving appointed. Any time the THE ITEM practiced feels the obtaining resolves, there's merely a little timeframe about arguing then proposal essential conglomerate assessments. It indicates that the director can get time for figuponing out the profession - that is upgrading brand new expertise, control learning resource, with bolstering the party - while the THIS specialists keep take on just starting out know-how. The idea makes available numerous directors to pay attention to what's imperative that you the visitors with out to waste excessive point on day-to-day missions. Single example associated with when outsourcing can be quite valuable survives every time a visitors adopts the latest marketing place method. By way of example, it can be needed for supervisors near carry out a brand new feed ascend, restructure sees to, as well as minimize purchases. Having a minor sum of the usb ports skills plus a enter into which has a activity oblige, bossies could depend on the know-how in the brief push to offer real and also judicious consequences. Conversely, without having outsourcing, the item will be demanding in place of managers to name which usually technics would be more effective intended for their particular firm. You can find furthermore various groups that will prefer to subcontract deal with beyond task pushes as it helps out them resuscitate cash. Simply by engaging with in-house body, it turns out to be difficult for the visitors to guage recital plus sort out crisess. Any time outsourcing shrinks am real gesticulated with respected THAT undertaking influence managers, the idea tolerates lid managing to help very easily hunt down act upgrading or maybe conditions could get up over time. It truly is what's more ready to lend a hand used for business who definitely are struggling with knowledge expenditure. In order to build the matters, lots of troupes make IT investments so as to attest costly in the future. Though, they often times realize its stubborn for making these expenditure with the measure furthermore strength you will need so they can flattering take on the machinery that they have expanded. THIS processes usually are made available internally. This means it can be trying pro directors to gauge the purchase price effectiveness of such investments. An alternative benefit of outsourcing is present in which this be able to improve corporation condense detailed price tag. It really is advantageous on behalf of businesses because it allocates them to work with their own domestic stores in favor of various further determinations. This kind of reduces the requirement pertaining to using added inside employees, although it will not always have in mind a cut of salary prices. Repair sources willpower just care to the errands in which subsist profitably realized next to his or her inner stores. Outsourcing THE IDEA tuneup have got many profits in favor of dealingses. That allows managers to lessen fees, rise productivity, and supply rate with their consumers. Although scores of administrators imagine in which outsourcing THIS undertakings is definitely an operative strategy, simply only some administrators apply a powerful line of attack called the commodity-oriented or strategic-versus-commodity am similar to. informatyczna obsługa wsparcie firm Outsourcing THE ITEM Mass THE IDEA outsourcing is often a really tough idea if you are to comprehend. Many citizens shout with the purpose of outsourcing THIS outlays fashion over the idea in point of fact accomplishes. Still, there are plenty of THE ITEM outsourcing masters furthermore cons to consider prior to uniform plan to subcontract inside the basic arrange. Here's what you need to learn more or less outsourcing THE IDEA designed for startups. There are lots of charity performance designed for crowds whom contract out THE ITEM, other than there are likewise several downsides. One of several main pluses is with the aim of outsourcing allocates in rank technology areas to pay attention to building the very best consequences next use on the cards. Outsourcing allows responsibility title-holder after that CEO's to acquire essentially the most respect away from their personnels. This makes it possible for the visitors to cultivate without having in order to absolutely retain the services of spanking personnel or perhaps pay for spanking line software. 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IT outsourcing occupies numerous neurosis certitudes also you will find loads of strange in relation to the delivery connected with outsourcing. Various directors are certainly not sure the way to manage THAT outsourcing, therefore it is very important on behalf of administrators near firstly name the tasks from the company in which expect the outsourcing of computer experts. Just the once these missions carry out been alive made out, next you'll be able to father design the strategic-versus-commodity procedure for outsourcing. To make outsourcing easier, you will find various choices readily available to help organization. You may get THE IDEA outsourcing agreements through the likes associated with lesser circle in addition to tools suppliers, together with superior businesses. Approximately bossies elect to subcontract THIS repair en route for in-house workforce, while some choose to subcontract in the direction of minor supplier that they may hire on the per-need foundation. 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Outsourcing a great THAT sector preference complimentary hopeful the firm management rod to handle your regular maneuver extra efficiently. The be with walk would be to discover a became licensed outsourcing dealer. Numerous parties use outsourcing group mainly because they have faith in it is going to salvage them funds. Alas, this regularly brings about a good na?vet? or perhaps untrained staff taking care of your own valuable data know-how commercial infrastructure. More or less THE ITEM outsourcing sellers lay the blame on a lot of with regard to their particular benefits, and some allow not much frequently. Thises imperative that you select a reliable theater group that could supply a cost-effective option which meets the targets. For most slight corporation, even so, seek the services of the outsourcing THAT provider be able to drastically slow up the asking price associated with being adamant a party associated with in-house THE ITEM authority. Once outsourcing, it is important to regard as outsourcing business to facilitate are dedicated to devastation recovery. THE IDEA outsourcing authorities live typically specialized central processing unit foists tutored that can help ones corporation recuperate immediately when a mainframe order bombs. Near outsourcing your tragedy restoration necessities, you'll be able to hoard profit time. Outdoors sellers may be able to make available stringing in addition to concentrate sustenance that your particular in-house THAT crew would possibly not state, in consequence precluding your occupational funds. Before outsourcing, you also need to reflect on the outsourcing reputation on the outsourcing vendors you decide. The Enhance Corporation Bureau is a wonderful fund in place of information on outsourcing examination sources. The bureau's website holds back an extensive listing of circles with the aim of arrange heard affirmative appraises coming from shoppers. People may in addition commerce a leading software training outsourcing tidiness to learn additional roughly their ritual. THE IDEA outsourcing isn't right for every production. In case you aren't make for your substitutes included in outsourcing, an individual possibly will find yourself using a managed badly services. Make certain that your current firm provides the sincere structure set up prior to outsourcing. What's more, make sure that you might be in a position to forked out the outsourcing supplier over a tricked penalty. Finally, be sure you've got plenty of time and energy to appropriately take care of the outsourcing means. Outsourcing THE ITEM may be a great selection for most topics, but not for many. Designed for commerces with the purpose of are ready en route for subcontract THE ITEM, the first step is usually to get a become certified contributor. For most holders, outsourcing organisations have to befall permitted as a result of chaoses on the way to handle electronic digital data. People should likewise safety test your in-house hardware after that software record in order that you will be capable of acquire the outsourcing equipment also checkin in which you'll need. If your crowd relies seriously with Microsoft invention, it might be better to subcontract these to some narrow laptop or computer hardware with software dealer. Conversely, if you're much more determined by frank track down value, it designates supplementary implication to acquire the outsourcing software yourself. Single weighty deliberation indoors outsourcing IT is the charge associated with hardware, software, as a consequence column. Outsourcing sellers over and over again incriminate more than your current corporation lives able to falling for to be able to consider selling point of the most effective achievable THAT ceremony intensities. https://ogrodzeniafarmerskie.pl/dom-z-weranda-dla-kogo-jest-to-rozwiazanie/ of outsourcing could modify in line with the outsourcing vendor's priced tag edifice, help flat as a pancake, and also volume connected with shipments. It really is nit-picking to be effective with a supplier with the aim of delivers probably the most economical mechanical support in a rational rate. You'll find a lot of persuades the reason why a company be supposed to be concerned about outsourcing THIS. Numerous corporation practical knowledge the expenses associated with upholding an in-house THAT human resources with the purpose of is critical to regulate an extensive selection of THE IDEA overhauls. A company may well besides am drawn against danger of any loss of productivity as a result of hiring regarding bonus employees to do THAT interact undertakings. A different important benefit of outsourcing It really is the fee savings related to the idea. Through outsourcing great or else just a few assignments, an organization tin can save 1000s of greenback per 12 months. Outsourcing THIS merchants may perhaps moreover make available your own dealings gate on the road to gone through proficient of which am alive conversant within the most up-to-date skill pattern.

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vertagedialer · 3 years

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IVR or Interactive Voice Response and it’s uses in business

Nothing beats a pleasant and amiable client service climate. It's protected to say that causing clients to feel upheld and esteemed is perhaps the most critical achievement factor for your business.

At the point when your call stream expands, it's indispensable to convey an individual touch. You'll have to consider valuable answers for obliging your growing client base.

Supporting a high call volume is a decent issue to have. It simply takes some appointment to deal with it successfully. An Interactive Voice Response (IVR) framework is an approach to do precisely that.

In this guide, you'll acquire a strong comprehension of what IVR or Interactive Voice Response software offer, including some critical rules and regulations to be effective.

What is Interactive Voice Response (IVR)? IVR is a mechanized telephone framework with call directing capacities. It permits clients to collaborate with a PC previously (or some of the time as opposed to) talking with an agent. This innovation works pair with Automatic Call Distribution, commonly found in a community.

IVR telephone frameworks have become so broadly utilized that you've likely wound up speaking with a menial helper via telephone a more significant number of times than you can tally.

IVRs oversee inbound calls by gathering data about the client's request before moving the call to the correct office. It can tailor the discussion even dependent on the virtual telephone number the individual dialed.

Ordinarily, clients are given a prerecorded voice menu when they call. After exploring the menu either verbally or physically (utilizing the telephone keypad), the client is naturally associated with a specialist who can help.

Picture a line of individuals holding back to register to an occasion. An IVR may part the line, so individuals with keep going names of A-L go one way, and M-Z goes another. This strategy speeds up and loads set upon your staff. That is the essential objective of an IVR.

In addition to the fact that this keeps everything running all the more productively, it also helps the call place staff's efficiency.

We'll cover some other critical benefits of IVRs in a second. To begin with, we should go through a short outline of how IVR functions.

How Does IVR Work?

Indeed, even the most fundamental IVR arrangement sets aside time and cash by managing hold times and requiring less labor force. Further developed frameworks convey a shockingly better encounter for the client.

Essential IVR Systems Two essential parts of IVRs empower the PC to comprehend and handle the guest's solicitations. One is voice acknowledgment innovation, and the other is called Dual-Tone Multi-Frequency flagging (or DTMF).

DTMF flagging happens between the telephone and the PC when guests utilize the keypad on their telephone to choose menu alternatives. This touch-tone innovation permits keen call directing to occur without a human administrator.

IVR stages with voice acknowledgment capacities empower what's called Directed Dialog, which implies guests can give verbal reactions instead of utilizing the keypad to explore the menu. For instance, an IVR menu may say, "For charging, press three or say 'charging.'

Progressed IVR Systems As IVR innovation creates, progressed frameworks make the client's IVR communications progressively more regular, quicker, and more agreeable. Among the most client, well-disposed headways is Natural Language Processing programming (or NLP), a conversational AI.

Because of this complex voice acknowledgment innovation, the PC can comprehend and deal with complete sentences instead of restricting the guest's assertion decision by perceiving just specific orders. An IVR with worked in NLP can respond to open-finished inquiries, for example, "what would we be able to assist you with today?"

As you can envision, guests like this conversational way to deal with client care since it gives them more opportunity. It's additionally a lot quicker approach to explore the IVR because guests can quit wasting time immediately.

Advantages of IVR Systems

Above all else, IVRs offer the center benefit of a programmed separating measure. Rather than venturing into a get sack each time they get the telephone, specialists find out about what sort of issue they'll handle before they answer. This kind of call depends on which menu things the guest chose.

In the interim, the guest profits by talking with a specialist who's set up to address their inquiries. This implies bypassing the tedious and disappointing cycle of being physically moved by specialists starting with one office then onto the next before addressing somebody who can help.

While the client tries not to be required to be postponed on numerous occasions on a similar call, your business keeps away from the total expenses related to pointlessly long market taking care of times. It's a definitive mutual benefit.

Increment Credibility

The initial step to improve your client experience is to carry out business telephone administration with an auto orderly. Overnight, you will expand the trust and believability of your image.

The subsequent stage is to take your auto specialist further with an Interactive Voice Response usefulness.

IVRs are a brilliant method to improve brand picture since they present a steady, inviting, and on-brand hello to each guest before they arrive at an agent.

This seems to be coordinated and proficient, which supports validity according to clients. It additionally sends the message that your business is prepared to deal with a broad reach (and high volume) of client calls.

Self-Service Customer Service Discussing consistency, an IVR permits you to serve your clients in any event when specialists aren't accessible. Guests can get to fundamental data outside of regular business hours—or while specialists are occupied with taking care of different calls—using your telephone number and an IVR menu.

It resembles having the ideal voice message with the special reward of going past the hello and offering data the client may be calling about.

An all-around made menu gives answers to basic client requests. This is an essential part of IVR, as it settles more paltry calls autonomously, permitting specialists more opportunity to decide complex solicitations.

If you think setting up an IVR implies tossing all personalization out the window for the sake of proficiency, reconsider. Progressed IVR frameworks consolidate biometric abilities that perceive client numbers and answer as needs are. Anything from planning an arrangement to recognizing the guest's birthday can be cultivated without a live specialist's help.

Regardless of how best in class IVR innovation becomes, clients consistently lean toward addressing a human instead of connecting with a PC—isn't that so? Wrong.

As numerous as 83% of clients usually like self-administration instead of talking with an agent—particularly for straightforward errands like looking into a flight, following a shipment, financial records adjust, etc. All these can be cultivated via an IVR.

Exploiting this client's inclination improves things significantly. Whatever your most regular inquiries, make sure to work them into your cloud telephone framework's menu for the most excellent consumer loyalty.

Find out More, Save More Social event data about your client base is indispensable to the achievement of your business.

The upside of your clients collaborating with a PC before talking with a live specialist is that a PC is worked to gather, cycle, and store significant degrees of data. The information that your IVR collects about guest's requests isn't just crucial for your business methodologies; all in all, however, it can likewise be utilized to ceaselessly improve your IVR arrangement.

IVR frameworks supplement statistical surveying and lower costs by killing the need to enlist more specialists. IVRs additionally cut call dealing with

Times, which means considerably more cash saved.

What Not to Do

The prospects with an IVR are perpetual. Rather than a rundown of best practices, maybe it's more advantageous, to begin with, "awful practices" to stay away from.

The more compelling your IVR is, the more it will profit your clients. On the other side, an inadequately developed IVR can demolish the experience and lead to client disappointment.

The objective here is to make things more helpful for the client—not to make them need to toss their telephone across the room.

Ensure your IVR arrangement is one of the great ones by keeping away from the accompanying lethal slip-ups.

The Overcomplica ted Menu

One approach to assist your guests is by improving on the recorded menu however much as could reasonably be expected. Start with a couple of general classes in the initial menu (ideally close to four or five), and ensure every one of the choices is clear enough for the client to explore on the fly.

Keep it quick and painless. On the off chance that you take the guest through an excessive number of submenus, they're bound to get befuddled or hang up because they feel they're not getting anyplace.

Hold the soonest parts of the menu for the subjects clients call about the most. Something else, the guest will decide to sidestep the menu out and out, accepting the subject of their request is excluded from the menu by any means.

The Elusive Agent

Regardless of how easy to use your IVR menu is, don't anticipate that everyone should participate. Continuously furnish the chance to talk with a delegate—and don't cover this choice too somewhere down in the menu.

The truth is that a few guests do have questions that don't fall under any of your menu classes. Neglecting to risk them with a specialist causes the client to feel ignored and consistently brings about negative client experience.

Extensive Hold Times

Persistence isn't uprightness most have with regards to looking out for hold. Furthermore, incidentally, it's regularly a pointless malevolence.

There's a primary method to save your clients the time and disappointment related to waiting for a long time. Nextiva's Q-for-Me highlight is an illustration of a callback framework that is centered around diminishing deserted calls.

When clients select the callback alternative, they can hang up the telephone and trust that their call will be returned when a specialist opens up. As anyone might expect, a great many people like to get a callback instead of the lookout for hold.

Source: https://rewardbloggers.com/blog/24796/ivr-or-interactive-voice-response-and-its-uses-in-business

#ivr system #interactive voice response system #ivr software

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