#before you express any kind of personal feelings. from feeling insecure alll the way down the spectrum to feeling like your life is over

[sergle]

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

#I FEEL LIKE COMPLAINING RN in the context of this alternate universe these posts live in. that makes me evil rn. I may not even keep #the post up. but I Needed to complain about these bc I hate seeing them #really funny and good because it very much feeds into that part of the brain where you go wait am I stupid? am I horrible? am I annoying? #before you express any kind of personal feelings. from feeling insecure alll the way down the spectrum to feeling like your life is over #before anyone How Dare You Say We Piss On The Poor-s at me YES there is a nuanced version of this #which is. you can make someone feel like shit (A Fellow Sufferer Of The Mental Eelnesses) by using them as your dumping ground #in excess and usually with no regard for how they feel and without Regular conversations inbetween #and in a one-sided way where they can't do the same and complain with you as a sounding board in return #don't tell new friends you hardly know abt THE MOST personal shit you can possibly think of. there are steps being skipped here #right? we know this. we all know it. setting a boundary is a thing. overwhelming a person is a thing #on the other hand there is such a thing as a friend who IS okay to listen and wants to help. and friends who relate. #maybe talking abt personal stuff makes ppl feel closer sometimes. just a thought! maybe not everything is Emotional Labor. maybe just maybe #but like come on. these are almost intentionally unhelpful posts #long post

[youmustbestrongernow]

just saw you posted the ask your friend at 4 am ask set and I LOVE that ask set. The best. It has very deep questions. I tried to narrow down. Would have asked alll 2 Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known? 7 vAre you in love? Do you want to be? 18 Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? 61 Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them? 87 What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself?

I did, I reblogged it a few days back I think, I saw it and loved the questions, although I didn't think anyone would actually ask any, figured I was probably being annoying with all the ask lists, but I find them fun. but I also just liked the concept, 4am conversations are so deep sometimes, and I love that, I've had so many wonderful conversations in the quiet hours while the world seems to be sleeping. but enough rambling, I'll try and give some answers, although it's not four am anymore

2. Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known?

This is such a good question, a good feeling, or a good way of describing a feeling I mean. I feel like I’ve answered this before, for a different ask game, but it’s so good I’ll answer again, just don’t judge if I say something different this time. So I think yes in a way, I don’t know if mourn is the right word. but I often have a feeling of longing for things that never were, a need to find a feeling of home somewhere, whether that be in a place or a person. I feel like i’m constantly searching for that and the contentment it will bring when I find it.

7. Are you in love? Do you want to be?

I am not, and I’m not sure if I do want to be, it feels like a lot of trouble! no that’s not true, it is a good feeling and worth it, but I think what I long for is all the things that come with it. understanding and companionship and all those wonderful things, I don’t think you necessarily need to be in love for that, but I guess I do kind of want to, I guess it ties into the previous answer. what I want is to be loved, understood and known, and to find somewhere and someone I feel at home. so that’s what I want, one day I hope to find that

18. Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’?

I'm not religious, never have been really, like I haven’t really had much exposure to it at all, so I can’t really answer the second question because I don’t have one

61. Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them?

I mean we definitely do, like obviously with everything going on in the world, but I think it seems particularly strange because we are in it, i’m sure at other times in history it has felt particularly tumultuous and we look back and just see the facts, we don’t get the feelings. but these are strange times and I look around at everything going on and it’s no wonder I feel so lost sometimes.

87. What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself?

i guess avoidance maybe? not dealing with stuff and just hoping it goes away. I am I trying to improve my avoidance tactics, so yes I guess, there’s only so much I can do, i’m not confrontational and i’m way too scared of upsetting people to tell them how I feel or if they’ve upset me, but I do understand avoiding it isn’t the answer either. it’s tough, I don’t know if I can ever be better at that, but I do try, and I try not to be too disheartened when I have been brave enough to express my discomfort and it’s gone about as badly as it possibly could. I think i’ve gone from avoiding forever, to putting it off for a while then dealing with it, that’s kind of an improvement right?

i’m also pretty stubborn too, I try not to be, i’m like stubborn in the moment and then when it passes i’m like you dummy, and then I apologise. also I worry too much about what people think about me, to the point where it hinders my own progress in life. i’m getting better at that though, slowly i’m starting to allow myself to live how I want you know? but it’s hard. I know you asked for one, and I have more but I’ll stop now or else I’ll just start listing all my insecurities!

4am asks

#it's not four am but i do wish i was sleeping #this morning has been a mess #but this was fun so thank you #i enjoyed ignoring work and writing my answer #it was fun to ramble #4am asks #ask games #ask theo #ask theo time