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kanmom51 · 1 year

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Letter to troll

*Disclaimer: this is an angry rant written by a feverish covid patient. Saying that, me being sick while writing this does not mean I do not mean every single word I wrote. It could only mean I might have missed something on the way.

To @PJM12023 (from here on to be called "dear troll") who might or might not see this cause you deactivated the account a mere second after you left a couple of comments on Jikook posts and sent me a stupid super ignorant and highly uninformed (or more so willfully so, I'd say):

Do you think I'm an idiot?

I think that's actually rhetorical question, seeing you did send me the ask, so the answer to that would probably be yes.

So as you probably think I'm stupid I'm here to inform you that I'm not.

I am not going to post your ask.

I am not going to hand you my platform on a platter for you to spew your lies and misinformation.

You are unwelcome here. So go find your be with your kind, I’m sure you’ll enjoy samlove608′s content so much more than mine. And you know, it’s your choice, up to you, so I’m asking you ever so nicely to fuck off from here. You are kind of lucky you deactivated cause I was planning to block your ass, but then, you know I would, so preemptive deactivation much?

I do just have to say one thing. It's itching at the tips of my fingers hitting this keyboard. I can't keep myself from not saying it, even if you might not even see this.

But fuck, LV had little to no Jikook? What world are you living in? I'd guess the world of TKK edited TikTok or YT. The world of samlove608. I guess someone like that is your source for information when you make a statement like:

"If you think that jikook in the same frame is a "moment", well...bad news for you, that's not a moment. They're in the same group, of course they can stand next to each other on stage, during a song."

Me while copy pasting your load of bull crap.

I guess someone hasn't been watching original content dear troll.

I also guess someone has had zero access to social media during BTS's stay in LV. No, wait. I assure you, dear troll, you were allowed special access to the TKK 'moments', as little as they were (yes, me rubbing in the salt, cause I'm fucking sick of the lot of you trolls), but only said content, any JM in the frame deleted on the spot.

Yeah, not a moment, right?

You are right though.

WTF?

I admitted you are right?

Oh, how different we are dear troll...

But let me be clear as a sunny day. When I say I agree with you it’s on this:

Not every time members happen to stand by each other can be called a moment.

Oh so true.

I’ll give you your comment and raise you one.

We are the first to say that not every interaction or ‘moment’ is an indication that “they are boyfies”.

But

A member saying "Love you" to another member on stage between songs, well, that's a moment.

And guess what else...

A member squeezing another member's ass, what to do, is definitely considered a moment.

A member knowing the smallest incidental information about another member’s grandmother is considered something, if not a moment.

Another member putting his foot in his mouth saying that while JM is walking around naked at home JK is the one in charge of the playlist, that is definitley something.

Two members choosing to spend their spare time together, not for promotions, not for the cameras, but while off camera, that is something.

I can go on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

Literally.

So for you, dear troll, here's a masterlist with a shit ton of content, original content, unedited content from LV. Go read it. Go watch it.

I won't say that later you will come here and admit you were wrong. I'm not that naive.

But then, I can always hope.

In any case, I’m writing this here once again, even though I’ve repeated this at the very least 1000 times, and even though I know that for you it’s like talking deaf ears, but there are others that will listen:

WATCH ORIGINAL CONTENT.

And if you watch edited content know it’s edited, many times manipulated into a short clip to show a point, at times twisting the whole interaction into something it never was.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU BELIEVE.

WATCH THE MEMBERS. LISTEN TO THEM.

APPLY CRITICAL THINKING.

Ask yourself: Is a post saying “a friend of a friend of the instructor from the ski resort told me...” something you can rely on?

Or, when the story keeps changing, evolving as time goes by, can that ‘story’ be perceived as truthful?

Or, when you have content you can actually see and a whole unsubstantiated story built behind it, is that story reliable?

Rule of thumb: Just don’t believe everything you read. Someone taking the time to put it into writing doesn’t make it truthful.

There’s more, I know there’s more. My covid fogged mind just can’t think of the rest right now on the one hand, and on the other my fever and anger are ‘forcing’ me to post right now. It is what it is, lol.

In any case, to all you dear trolls out there:

Don’t expect coming here to my blog and me posting your shit asks. I don’t have to prove anything to you, not to mention you have zero interest in hearing what I have to say. All you want is this platform to spread your shit. You ain’t gonna get it here.

Well, that’s my rant coming to an end.

Maybe we made some lemonade out of a very sour troll ask, who knows.

#my message to the trolls #watch original content #listen to the members #stay away from my blog

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 1 year

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I am a new reader of your blog, and that is something I want to know (but it's totally okay if you want to ignore this ask!) why you stopped liking [with you]? Is there something in particular that bothered you about this fic?

That... is a question with a loaded answer.

The quick answer is:

I put way too much pressure on myself with [with you] that caused terrible burnout and I couldn't do any creative writing for a long time after; a small portion of my readers were pretty hostile about slow updates; there were criticisms about the story that I had a hard time with; and there are a lot of story beats and writing decisions I made with it that I'm very critical of. All of those things combined, I now have a lot of negative feelings associated with [with you].

The not-so-quick answer involves a lot of self-criticism about my prose, poor choices, the criticisms by my readers, and some behind the scenes stuff. I'll put all that under a "keep reading" for anyone interested in more detail.

When I started [with you], it wasn't meant to be a 50k+ story, it was just going to be a simpler story told in a couple parts... that I then kept expanding. I'm pretty sure every note I have on the original version posted on here starts with, "hey y'all, this story is this many parts now whoops haha"

I had very little planned out, I was just discovery writing my way through everything. I wrote a chapter, read through it a couple times, said, "yeah that's good enough," then posted. Y'know, like what a lot of people who write fics do. "no beta, we die like Ben falling down the bell tower" and all that.

I had ideas of where I wanted to go, but I didn't start an outline until I was well into the story. It was bloated. I felt like I needed to add every single idea I had, and needed to expand on every character, even if it didn't do anything to advance or enhance the story... and that became overwhelming for me to keep track of since I wanted it to all tie together in the end and please my readers.

When I read through it now, there is so much that can be cut that no one would miss. It would flow better and be easier to read.

My prose [the actual writing style] is all over the place and reads like a first draft, especially in earlier chapters. Spelling errors, run-on sentences, whole paragraphs that I should've cut. While I feel better about my dialogue, there are some conversations that read as awkward.

Honestly, the best part of the entire fic is Clementine and Louis' story, which... yeah. I'm pretty happy with the way I portrayed their dynamic, dialogue, and romance. I just wish I hadn't bogged it all down with everything else, like... that's all it needed to be, it just needed to be about clouis.

Oh, and I still like the dream sequence. That's probably one of the better chapters, if not the best chapter.

Now, when I say I made bad choices with this story, one of those choices I'm referring to is my "big rewrite." This was incredibly stupid. Past CJ thought it was a good idea but she's a dumb ass. You can't listen to anything she says.

Basically, I got the brilliant idea that I would take [with you] down and rewrite the whole thing before I wrote the final chapters. I wasn't satisfied with how it was written. I felt I could do so much better. I was going to trim unnecessary fat, expand on important details, make some heavy changes, improve everything, and then repost it with the ending.... so I deleted it off AO3 and got to work.

Terrible idea. Don't ask me why. What I should've done was discontinued that version, made a note that it was old, and then published the new version separately. But I didn't. And a lot of people were pissed at me. Shocking.

I should've just finished it. I should've finished it, posted it, and then went from there. But I didn't. Ever since then I've gotten a lot of readers who would go on anon and send me messages about [with you] that are passive aggressive or guilt trippy. That soured my feelings about the story and myself as a writer tremendously.

Then there's Violet.

I wrote the first few chapters before Ep4 of TFS was released, meaning I wrote Violet before we found out that she's blinded in the explosion in her kidnapped route. I took the "Violet despises you" route, and a big plot point of the story is Violet dealing with all these conflicting feelings about Clementine, hating her but also not, distancing herself from the group, the strain it put on her and Louis' friendship, etc.

I don't like how I portrayed Violet for a number of reasons. I know what I was trying to do, and I knew I couldn't [or wouldn't] scrap everything I already wrote about her and rewrite in a blind Violet on friendly terms with Clementine... because sure, I wanted to do this grand rewrite that sounded easy enough on paper, but in practice that was so much work that intimidated me.

Because behind the scenes fun- for the rewrite, I wanted to do that. That was a major change that would've cut so much from the story I wasn't happy with, and would've been a more positive portrayal of the character. But then I saw just how much would be cut and how much I'd have to write and it scared me off from the idea... so I tried to work with what I had and I still hate it.

Violet's very antagonistic in the story. She attacked Clementine after the boat explosion. Everyone thinks she'll attack her again. Mitch calls her a traitorous bitch and doesn't trust her to not stab Clementine in a conversation. There's even a point where it's mentioned that in the past she slapped Louis during a conversation. She just has a pissy attitude throughout the story but then berates herself for it and I just... I was going for a slow burn recovery that explores her trauma and ends with her reconciling with Clementine... but it doesn't come off that way? Some parts I think I executed better than others but most of it I look back at and say, "...No, past CJ, that doesn't read like you think it does...."

But that wasn't my only criticism I got about the way I wrote Violet, and this one is... a little complicated? And something most probably wouldn't take issue with or even notice unless you're a major Violet stan... but I pretty much gave Mitch [a character I loved at the time] a lot of Violet's canon character points and explored them more positively, then turned around and made Violet more antagonistic, which......yeeeeeah.

The only defense I have for this is it wasn't intentional. It really wasn't, but I understand and think it's a valid complaint. Like... I used to get these anons who would tell me this and I'd quietly delete them because, "...nope, not touching that. If I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist."

Lemme explain: In my fics, Mitch is gay. He had feelings for his best friend and roommate, Justin, before he died to walkers, and Mitch hasn't trusted "gross feelings" ever since... until James shows up and Mitch has to face the fact that he has romantic feelings for him while not being completely over Justin...

...y'know, totally different from Violet who is gay, had feelings for Minerva before she "died," and hasn't trusted mushy feelings ever since... until Clementine shows up and Violet has to face the fact that she has romantic feelings for her while not being completely over Minerva....

It's surface level stuff since they are written differently, and it's not like you're not allowed to have more than one character with character beats like that, but it's enough of a similarity that I get why it would rub Violet lovers the wrong way. Especially since nothing about that is canon with Mitch's character, y'know? It's the character I gave him.

I don't think it was coming from the Violet crowd [the aggressively obnoxious fans no one likes], I think it came from people who were genuinely bummed or put off by my more antagonistic portrayal of her, only to see similar traits portrayed positively with Mitch.

And that bothers me. I do like the way I wrote Mitch, but I hate the way I wrote Violet. It's made me step back and analyze why I wrote them the way I did, y'know?

But the BIGGEST criticism from readers I've gotten?

[with you] is unfinished.... valid, but there isn't anything I can add that. Sorry y'all, it's discontinued, I'm never going to finish it.

The best I can give you is what I planned: a big wedding scene where Clementine and Louis exchanged vows and kissed. Violet showed up and made amends with Clementine. Clementine talked Mitch into dancing with her even though he hates dancing. Aasim tried to ask Ruby to dance, panicked, and asked Mitch instead who was like "...Fuck no, RUBY COME DANCE WITH AASIM!" Louis and Clementine left early to head back to their room and it probably would've ended with some sappy line about being together to the end.

So... there ya go? It's not a final chapter but that's the gist of what would've happened.

But moving on, I was also going through a lot of things in my personal life that I won't get into. I was working on other writing projects that I had more interest in, so [with you] was put on the backburner. Then, over time I grew more sour about it the more pressure and guilt I put on myself, added with the pressure and guilt put on by my readers.

I do want to clarify that it's not like ALL of my readers were like this. Most of them were sweet, supportive followers who only had nice things to say. But you know how it is... you could get ten comments/asks, nine of them positive and one negative, and it's the negative one that's going to stick to you.

So, to my lovely readers, I am sorry that I let you down by not finishing it. To the rude readers, I'm less sorry because y'all were dicks.

Y'know... I can look at all of my other works and either be like "Yeah, I'm really proud of that story," or "Eh, it was one of my earlier works, so I can't be too hard on it."

But [with you] puts me in a crisis of "oh god I'm a fraud, I was never a good writer, what am I doing??? why?? why are you like this??"

and I have to snap myself out of it. That's why I'm so like this about it now.

There are other little things I could go into, but this answer is long enough. I figure if anyone has any further questions or criticisms, they'll send 'em in and I can answer them that way.

I've moved on from all my twdg writing, I'm writing dragon age stuff now, and it's finally working for me so it's not like [with you] has me all hung up still. Plus, I think it's good to go back and learn from mistakes made in old works, y'know?

#asks #[with you]#twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg violet #twdg mitch #twdg ruby #twdg aasim #twdg james #i have a lot of feelings about my old writings and trying to not repeat mistakes sksksks #because hhhnnnggggg... i made mistakes #but it's fine #it's fine i am different now and current cj has improved.... she said through gritted teeth #no but really i'm doing so much more writing these days and it's actually *fun* again... writing hasn't been fun for a long time #and writing da fic is like... a totally different experience? because it's a very different world/fandom than twdg... obviously sksks #plus i'm just a lurker in the shadows of the fandom and i haven't posted any writing yet so there are zero eyes on me #there was a point where i felt like stagnant with twdg? like i wanted to branch out and write different kinds of fics but was too worried #about my readers and followers judging me for it or that no one would want to read it because it wasn't tfs stuff #like.... ugh do i dare share this? ....it's in the tags and no one reads those so i'm sure this is a safe place for confession... sksks #i entertained the idea of writing a long fic about david and lilly meeting and joining the delta together #that would've dealt with much heavier mature themes than any of my tfs stuff did #...don't look at me like that okay I KNOW sksksk livid was a huge meme on this blog and behind the scenes i was like #'...wait what if though??' and never did it because i *know* how it would've been received and frankly i didn't wanna deal with that #plus i had so much other shit to write and [with you] constantly on the back burner screaming at me sooooo.... yeah #but anyway... i'll stop venting in the tags and thank anon for the ask and for reading my stuff #despite my hang ups with it i do truly appreciate you for reading my work and hope my answer makes sense

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morelikedoccock · 2 years

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I’m about to dig into some drama because I haven’t felt this incredibly disrespected by someone on the internet for a long time. If you like my content and/or how I deal with things and are curious to know what’s going on, I’m explaining below.

I’m gonna start out with this:

I am not going to answer questions about this.

Do NOT go to this user and send them anon hate.

Sending anon hate accomplishes absolutely nothing and it’s a shitty thing to do. Just don’t.

So, I relatively recently blocked someone here (not going to name drop because that’s fucking rude, as I’ll get into later) and on Twitter for several reasons, but as I’ve said before, no one needs a reason to block here. It’s the internet. I had BARELY even spoken to this person. They responded by block evading to beg for a reason, and also asked their friend to message me about it. I didn’t reply, feeling increasingly like my boundaries were being disregarded and disrespected.

Then I was told that they’d been vaguing about me on Twitter, and as much as I support a little vaguing, it was bordering on obsessive and kinda creeping me out.

THEN TODAY I discovered that they had posted a fic inspired by my au without my permission, but not only that, the first chapter of their fic is a long-winded and wildly invasive author’s note complaining about how I had blocked them. An authors note IN WHICH THEY USED MY NAME. My actual NAME, not my url (which would’ve been just barely been better).

This really upset me. It’s a blatant and open disregard of my boundaries and wishes, and also… posting personal drama to a PUBLIC FANFICTION SITE is so incredibly immature and just not okay. In response to reading their author’s note, I sent them a long and extremely reasonable message detailing why I’d blocked them and that I was very upset. I told them that I wanted them to delete the author’s note. I would prefer if they hadn’t posted the fic in the first place but I can’t tell them to take it down, I just told them to delete the author’s note. They sent me an immature reply and refused.

I was originally tempted to post the full message I sent them and their reply, but I decided that wasn’t the best idea. Instead, I wanna address this one bit of their response:

I’m still snorting over this.

1. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t think I’m a good person. If being a good person means setting aside your own personal boundaries so people can walk all over you for their own pleasure, than I’m perfectly happy being a bad person with clear boundaries.

2. Why the fuck am I your hero?? What have I done to warrant that kind of parasocial worship???? I simply make art, write fic, and complain about stupid fandom drama. I am a regular ass person who happens to enjoy creating and has a decent amount of experience doing so. I do regular people things like work and eat and agonize over existence, and if you have decided to use your imagination to make me into someone that I am not, that is not my problem. Being treated like this makes me not want to share my art or fic. I’m just vibing. Ffs I am just desperately trying to connect with people who respect me/enjoy fandom content. Also, because I NEED to be petty, it’s *heros* (plural) not *hero’s* (singular possessive).

Anyway, after I sent them the message and got their reply, I ended the conversation and blocked them again. But now they have already gotten an anon hate comment on their fic (again, DON’T DO THIS) and they posted about it to their tumblr and Twitter claiming it was me who sent it.

I don’t send anon hate. I’m way too fucking anxious and also too old for that shit. I’ve done my best to take the idea of “the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference” concept to heart. Yes I will absolutely complain about being disrespected, but I do it in my own fucking space (aka here), and I’ll do my damnest to ignore any drawn out bullshit they continue to stir up.

So yeah. I’m honestly really riled up by this. I had been nothing but reasonable toward them, including my decision to block them, (in fact I blocked them in the beginning because they posted the same fic without asking and then gave them a second chance when they asked) and now they are claiming/implying that I’m harassing them.

If you’ve ever had more than a single conversation with me, or if you’ve ever read any of my long posts about this kind of stuff, you’d know that I try hard asf to be decent. I don’t send anon hate. I don’t name drop. But I do block without hesitation if something doesn’t click for me, and if someone doesn’t respect that boundary, I get pissed.

If you’ve gotten this far, I am platonically and respectfully smooching you on the forehead. If you still enjoy my artwork and writing, I would appreciate if y’all stick around. I know I’m not posting as often, but it’s nice to feel like I’ve got respectful people on here who appreciate what I do.

And finally, if you’re reading this and you know them: good, tell them I said to leave me alone. I’m tired of their childish bullshit.

#cerbin speaks #discourse #respect my boundaries ffs #I’m so goddamn tired #and again do not send them anon hate

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thewanderingace · 2 years

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Okay I need to vent about something for a second and I'm putting it under a read more so you can all just ignore it. Really. Ignore this. It's about the updates to the site that Tumblr has announced via the changes page like this and specifically about gifmaking on this site.

So first is this that the changes blog shared here

I got so excited when I saw this on the changes page! Finally I can rearrange my gifs when uploaded using the fucking beta editor which I hate so much! I much prefer using the original editor. It's faaaar superior. Better photo/gif arrangement and it doesn't break up everything into separate blocks making it impossible to select a large portion of text to copy or delete. The beta post editor makes it so you have to it one block at a time and I fucking despise it. But if I don't use the beta editor to post my sets then I can't use the edit button on mobile and sometime (a lot of times) I need to do that.

But I digress. Anyways, I checked it out and yes I can now upload all my gifs at once and rearrange them but my god it is the most un-userfriendly version ever! It still sucks so much! When you select a gif to move it stretches out the set and then you can't even tell where it is you're putting the gif you are attempting to move. And it doesn't always work properly and sometimes it just fucks everything up. It's so frustrating!!

So I still despise the beta post editor and then, while super annoyed by this still, Changes posts this:

I am irrationally upset about this.

Why is tumblr continuing to make things 10x harder for gifmakers on this fucking site!? I do not want my gifs to be forcibly changed to looping mp4s. I work hard on my gifs, I work hard on the editing and arranging and coloring. So now that won't matter because they're gonna be turning into ugly ass mp4s?

And I have so many questions about this! Like, they just drop this with no explanation at all?

What do they consider to be "pages with a lot of GIFs"?? Do they mean every single fucking fandom blog on this site? Cause there are a lot and they are full of hundreds of gifset! Like my own blogs! Or do they just mean the search and specific tag tumblr pages? If it changes one of my gifsets into several looping mp4s instead of several gifs will that fuck up the arrangement of the gifs or will they remain in the order I put them in? As of right now only one video is allowed per post so how does that work with gifsets? Will this degrade the quality of the edit? Will it compress them like it did when they switched all of our .gifs into .gifvs? Or when they changed the dimensions? And if the tag search is considered "a lot of GIFS" but my post or my blog isn't will it be an mp4 on the search but a gif on my blog? Or will it change it to an mp4 on everything? How will they determine any of that? How does any of that work? Can we opt out of this force change? How do you even make a looping mp4??? If this change is a permanent no choice we're changing them all sort of thing do I need to learn how to make looping mp4s???

I just...

I hate this so much. Please for the love of god do not turn my gifs into stupid looping mp4s. Please just leave things as they are. Fix actual problems instead of changing things like this. Please.

I understand that this might make things load a little faster but what I don't think staff understands is the difference between gifmaking on tumblr vs other social media sites. On other sites, gifs are used as single image reactions. Gifsets and gifset edits do not exist on other social media sites. They only exist here. And this website keeps making it more and more impossible to make them. Only one is allowed to posted at once and they used as reaction images. And sure tumblr uses single gif reactions too but for the most part gifs are an art form. Gif makers create entire sets that are meant to be viewed together. They created big beautiful overlaid edits that could not and should not be used on places like twitter or instagram. Because those sites are not made for them!! Tumblr was!! If you turn all the gifs into mp4s it destroys the whole point of a gif. I've read do many stupid articles about how gifs are useless now because videos load faster bit they don't take into account the beautiful edit work that goes into tumblr gifmaking. What we want here on tumblr is not faster loading but gargage quality reaction images. We make high quality large edits. There is a difference.

I don't know what to do with this information and change upsets me and I am upset about this. Gifmaking is one of my favorite things to do. I love making gifs. It's creative and calming and fun but everything tumblr does lately seems like it's trying to kill this for us and that upsets me greatly.

#mod post #ignore this #i just needed to vent #i dont like change #im gonna delete this later #so please just ignore my tirade #im frustrated and confused and i need to let it out somewhere #tumblr ranting is the best i can do

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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

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Tattletale | (dark)stepbrother!Sam Wilson x reader

summary: your step-brother was kind enough to let you stay at his apartment just off-campus when you began your freshman year of college where he was a senior. unfortunately, his kindness ran out when he learned about your secret side-hustle.

word count: 4.7k

warnings: smut!! (noncon/heavy dubcon and stepcest, they’re not biologically related but were raised from adolescence as siblings), facefucking, slapping, choking, degradation, coercion, DP (with a toy), anal play, possessive behavior, unprotected creampie, lots of crying/implied dacryphilia

this is a dark fic containing triggering topics, please do not read if this would be triggering for upsetting for you in any way.

Your step-brother (and roommate… and technically your landlord) wasn’t usually home when you got back from your Econ class, so you jumped a bit when you saw him nursing a beer in your shared living room; apparently, he was waiting for you.

“Hey, Sammy,” you greeted sheepishly, suddenly feeling self-conscious when his eyes raked over your body— it was hot out, so you just had on a tank top and cut-off shorts, but now you wish you’d covered up more.

“Hey,” he nodded back, setting the beer down and leaning back on the couch, “you got time to talk for a minute?”

His tone made you a little nervous, but his casual body language set you at ease. He probably just wanted to ask if you could stay somewhere else over the weekend so he could have a girl over, or maybe he needed your help with one of his more difficult assignments— though frankly, you probably couldn’t help much with a senior-level project. “Sure,” you shrugged, setting your backpack down and slipping off your shoes to join him on the couch. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, really, I just feel like we don’t talk as much as we used to,” he explained with a little sigh. Something about the way he glanced to the side for a moment made you wonder if he was being completely transparent. “Remember when we were younger and we talked all the time? Or when I moved away to start here and we called every day? I miss that…”

You smiled a little, moving closer on the couch to rest your hand on his. “Me too,” you admitted. “I just figured you saw me as your annoying little sister.”

“I do,” he laughed, “but, you know, we used to be really close! You used to tell me everything. And now… now I don’t think you tell me everything.”

Your suspicion that this was more directed than he let on was growing, but you wanted to be close again, too, so you let it continue. “Well, we’re older now so it’s not quite the same…”

“I guess it’s normal for siblings to grow apart when they’re adults, but, I don’t know… I guess I just didn’t see it coming with us. And now that I’m letting you live here I thought it would be like old times; to be honest, that was part of why I had you move in in the first place.”

Just as you started to shift away, he flipped his hand and grabbed your wrist, stopping you from pulling away. “Sammy,” you whispered in shock, leaning back as much as you could even as he moved in closer.

“I think it’s the least you can do to be honest with me, sis,” he hissed.

“I— I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you protested, your gut sinking in fear of being reprimanded by him. He was so friendly 99% of the time, but you were still terrified of those few memories you had of him getting angry with you. Disappointing him was one of your greatest fears.

Sam laughed, but he didn’t exactly seem amused. “Stop playing dumb, honey, I think you know what this is about.”

“I… I don’t…” you stammered, your heart dropping further when he reached for his phone.

“Got a text from Steve today,” he explained as he unlocked it. “Wanna guess what it was?”

You swallowed dryly, more sure than ever that it was what you dreaded most. “I don’t know, Sam…”

“I’ll give you a hint,” he grimaced, reading something from the screen. “Kinky virgin horny for cock, 18, freshman at NYU.”

You looked away but he instantly grabbed your face and turned you to look at him. “You know, I let you live here while you were in college so you could get an education. Not be a fucking slut. Did you think I wouldn’t find your OnlyFans? Steve found it first, god knows what he did with these pictures before he sent them to me. Is this what you wanted? Any guy— even a guy we know— to get off to these pictures?”

Your shoulders slumped and your chest deflated as you started to cry. “I’m s-so sorry, Sammy—”

“Don’t call me that,” he sneered. “How stupid are you? Did you think these would stay private? Guys trade these all the time, they’re never secret for long. How long have you been doing this, huh? Must’ve been a while considering the sheer magnitude of content. Looks like your first post was on your 18th birthday— Jesus fucking Christ, you couldn’t wait a minute could you? I was there that day… when did you sneak off to take this little number, huh?”

You didn’t want to look as he turned the phone to you, but his hand tight around your wrist was a reminder not to struggle too hard. You remembered taking the photo, and it had been during your party. The idea of how wrong it would be to strip down in your parent’s bathroom to snap a picture in the mirror had only been more encouraging at the time. For some reason you hadn’t considered that someone would find it; you cringed at the idea that Steve saw you entirely nude, let alone your brother. It was humiliating.

“And what about this one, huh? How fucking slutty are you?” he spat, pulling up another picture and shoving the phone in your face as you were confronted with the image of you on your bed with your legs spread, fingers toying with your clit. “You really don’t leave anything to the imagination.”

“Sam, I didn’t— you weren’t supposed to—”

“Just stop talking. I can barely look at you right now,” he shook his head. “This stuff is seriously depraved, sis. The idea of all these guys drooling all over my little sister… and you actually encouraged them, the fuck is wrong with you?”

Tears poured down your face, and you felt like the anger radiating off of him would burn your skin somehow.

“And don’t give me some stupid fucking sob story about how you’re doing this to pay for school when I know damn well that mom and dad pay for your classes and I pay your fucking rent. You didn’t do it for money; you did it for fun. You did it ‘cause you’re a shameless fucking slut.”

“‘M not,” you denied, “Sam, really— I’m still a virgin, I don’t— you know I don’t do that.”

“You just fantasize about it. And chat with strangers online about it. And make videos going on and on about how bad you wanna get fucked.”

You shuddered as you realized: “You watched one of my videos?”

He grinned and pulled you closer. “Baby… I watched all of them.”

Completely at a loss for words, you silently tried to squirm away only for him to wrap his other arm around you and pull you closer, ignoring your sobs of fear and confusion.

“You’re actually sorta talented, for a dumb little virgin who had no idea what she’s getting herself into,” he purred against your ear, starting to push up your tank top.

“N-no,” you whimpered, “Sam, stop— I’m sorry. I’ll delete the account, I’m sorry.”

“Too late for apologies, little sis,” he cooed, “it’s not just the account. It’s that you made those posts from my apartment, you took those pictures in the room that I gave you. Not to mention the way you walk around in these tight clothes, teasing me just because you can. This goes way deeper than a few dirty pictures, sweetheart, and you know it.”

When you tried to wriggle away again, he seemed to exert nearly no effort at all to be able to spin you around and pull you down into his lap, where the shape of his hard cock pressing against your ass was obvious. “Sam, s-stop, this isn’t funny.”

“Damn right it isn’t funny, I’m dead fucking serious,” he growled against your ear. “What was it that you said in your most recent video, the one where you were wearing a collar and using that gaudy pink vibe on your clit? ‘I need your cock to ruin my hole, daddy’... am I remembering that right?”

Hesitantly, you nodded, and he laughed darkly against your ear as he pulled your hips into his.

“Say it, then. Like you said it in the video.”

“Sam, no—”

“No?” he repeated incredulously. “You can’t say no to me, honey. Cause if you do, I’m gonna send all these pictures and videos to mom and dad, tell them all about how their precious little angel is selling her ass on the Internet with the phone they pay for and the laptop they bought. What are they gonna say to that? Think they’ll take you back after that, let you stay with them when I kick you out? As if. So unless you think one of these creeps online is gonna give you a place to stay, seems like I’m your only option.”

You choked on a sob as you cried harder, hating that he was right.

“So you need to start doing what you’re told, or you’re gonna end up doing a lot worse with someone much less generous than me, got it?”

Terrified of him but unable to imagine the alternative, you nodded.

“Then. Fucking. Say it.”

“I…” you began, sounding weak and weepy compared to the original video you were quoting, “I need your cock… to ruin my hole… daddy.”

“Eh, needs improvement but it’s a start,” he shrugged, throwing you down onto the couch and climbing on top of you. When you tried to protest, or at least turn around to face him, he slapped your ass harshly and it stung even through the denim shorts. “I have needs too, sis. Can’t hardly get any when you’re here all damn day being a fucking cockblock. And frankly, since you started dressing like this and acting like a whore, I haven’t even been able to think about anybody else… can’t get hard for anyone but my slutty little sister.”

He leaned down to press his body against yours, pinning you against the cool leather by your shoulders.

“Steve told me about your account weeks ago, babe… I’ve been getting off to your cute little pictures ever since.”

It made you wince, but it made him laugh. Shame and fear and disgust swirled in your gut and made you nauseous, his grip on you tight enough to leave a bruise as he dug his fingertips into your skin. When he sat back up, he started pulling at your jean shorts roughly, ripping them slightly as he shoved them down to your thighs.

“Wow, look at this pretty little ass,” he groaned. “A thousand guys have seen it, but it’s better in person.” He slapped you again on either cheek, hard enough to make you yelp. “What’s the matter, sis, I thought you liked being spanked? You talk about it all the time. You talk about how you want me to spank you raw and leave marks all over your body, hurt you and break you and claim you.”

“I— I wasn’t talking about you,” you defended, remembering how you always addressed the viewer when dirty talking in your videos, but keeping it generic enough that any guy could imagine it was him.

“Then who did you think about when you got off? Who was it that got you wet for your videos?” he pressed. “Because you’re wet right now… and I’m the only one here.”

You shook your head, you tried to speak to deny it, but words escaped you as he flipped you around and hovered above your face.

“Do you get wet for anybody, baby, is that it? Will you spread your legs for any cock? Or do you just have a special place in your cunt for your big brother?”

Your stunned silence earned you a slap to the face, sending your head spinning to the side as your cheek stung and burned. Just as the heat of the impact really started to get to you, he hit you on the other side, and again, until you finally gave him an answer: “You!” you yelped suddenly. “You, Sam, just you!”

He laughed a little, leaning down and capturing your lips in an unexpected, dominating kiss. It was awkward and sloppy, exactly the sort of kiss one would expect when it was forced; just as passionless and confused on your end as a kiss to your step-sibling should be. But he moaned against you and forced his tongue deeper into your mouth, hands coming down to grope your tits through your tank top and bra. Trying to push him away was beyond useless, and he slapped you again without even breaking his lips away from yours. Soon he was reaching to pull down your top— no, wait, he was tearing through it, and your bra snapped like a rubber band against his strength. When he grabbed your breasts again, without any clothing in the way this time, your nipples were hard and sensitive between his fingers; it was so obvious that he smiled into the kiss, biting your lip playfully. “Wow, you really do like this. Your step brother’s forcing himself on you and you’re such a whore that you’re actually into it.”

He slapped your breast, just hard enough to sting, and you cried out; he did it again and your back arched.

“Yeah, I knew you just needed to be put in your place, little sis. Just needed me to fix your attitude, that’s all.” He wrapped his hand around your neck, not squeezing enough to cut off airflow but obviously threatening it, before leaning down to whisper in your ear: “get on the ground, on your knees.”

Even for what was left of your virginal innocence, you knew what he wanted. Wordlessly, your only sounds the weak little sobs that shook your chest, you slipped out from beneath him and onto the floor by the couch. He shifted to sit in front of you with wide legs, thick thighs spread as he looked down at you with an expression of anticipation.

“Get on with it, honey, I know you know how. Seen you choke on your toys a thousand times.”

After taking a stabilizing breath to cope with what was happening, shivering from the cold air on your exposed upper half, you sat up slightly and reached for his belt. You’d felt it pressed against you before, but now you could see the shape of his cock threatening to burst out of his jeans, so thick and long that you were confident he heard the little gasp you let out. And yet, you knew you had to trek forward, so you began to unclasp his belt before unzipping his fly. He lifted his hips to help you pull his pants and boxers down, but other than that he was too busy stroking the side of your face with his fingers in a move much too delicate for the situation. You stopped breathing for a second when you saw the size of him, his cock bouncing up when you released it to slap against his stomach.

“Sam, I can’t,” you sighed, starting to back away, “I’ve never— it won’t fit.”

“Nah, baby, it’s okay,” he encouraged gently, pulling you closer, “you can take it just fine. Just open your mouth, sis…”

He guided the tip of his cock between your lips, still swollen from his bruising kiss, and you whimpered when you felt his warm skin against your tongue, tasting the salty pre-cum that leaked out slow and steady.

“Yeah, just like that, now go ahead and suck on me,” he instructed, groaning when you closed your lips and hollowed your cheeks, using your tongue to tease the slit like you’d read online was a good thing to do. He chuckled and bucked up into you, holding your head as he started to pump his hips and slowly fill your mouth to the brim. “See, you can do it— now choke on it.”

When he pushed in until you gagged, your first instinct was to push on his thighs and try to get away for air, but he held you down as he hissed through his teeth.

“I know you can take all of me in your throat if you just stop fucking fighting,” he hissed, slapping you one more time which caused your throat to open up in shock— and it was just enough for him to shove in deeper, groaning at the feeling. “Yeah, that’s it… fuck…” he sighed, moving his hips faster. The struggle for air made your eyes water (although you hadn’t really had much of a chance to stop crying in the first place) as your grip on his thighs tightened. “I bet your pussy is getting so wet for me right now,” he chuckled, “I bet you love choking on my cock, huh?”

You tried to shake your head but you couldn’t really move much; he pulled you off of his length by your hair, just in time to give you a much-needed sputtering gasp for air.

“Fuck, I’d love to fill that pretty throat with my come,” he smiled— a sinister sort of grin that made you shudder as you looked up with him, feeling spit and pre-cum on your lips and chin— “but I know what you want. Since you’ve spent all year begging to lose your virginity on the internet, I figure I’ll be nice and give you what you’ve been asking for.”

Before you could even begin to consider a response to that, he hoisted you up and threw you back onto the couch, spreading your legs as you looked away in shame.

“Yep, I was right, you’re fuckin’ soaked,” he laughed. “You nasty little slut, are you actually getting off on this? Wow.”

A renewed sense of ‘dear god this cannot happen’ shot through you as he leaned down and slid his cock over your folds, teasing your clit with his swollen head. “Sam, stop, please…”

“I’m kind of getting tired of you begging,” he hissed as he leaned down, glaring right into your eyes as you froze beneath him. “I’m obviously not going to stop,” he explained as his hand slipped around your throat, “you dumb fucking bitch.”

Your ability to fight back was taken with your opportunity to breathe, his strong fingers cutting off blood flow to your head quickly as he clamped down on your neck. Instantly you clawed at his hand, your vision starting to go a little spotty, and he laughed at you coldly before letting go. And when he finally did, his hand moved instead to hold both your wrists above your head while the other guided his cock into your pulsing entrance. When he pushed his hips forward, the air was punched from your lungs as your back arched, a sharp pain reverberating over your body from the stretch of him inside you.

“Fuck!” he groaned, pushing in deeper, slow but consistent. “You’re tight, baby, you really did need a cock to ruin this hole, huh? Fuck, ‘m gonna, just hold still…”

But how could you hold still, when every instinct had you moving your hips to try to push his cock out, your hands tightening into fists as they tried to fight against his strength. Of course, now that he was inside, he had a second arm to hold you down with, but the terrifying thing was that he really only needed the one. “Sam!” you sobbed, your own voice sounding foreign with the way it wavered and cracked.

“Yeah, baby, that’s me inside you,” he purred, “that’s your big brother’s cock tearing up this little pussy…”

When he roughly shoved the rest of himself inside, the tip of his cock found the end of you and your eyes shot open. He smiled down at you as he examined your face; twisted in pain, and glistening with tears turned greyish-black by your mascara.

“None of your toys ever went this deep in you before, huh? Poor thing, should’ve known you were all talk… you don’t even know how to take those big cocks you drool over. I can’t even imagine what you’ll be like when I put this in your ass.”

He cackled at the pure terror that danced over your expression, and the way your walls tightened around him briefly.

“Relax, sis, not today. I’m just sayin’, if you want me to keep my mouth shut to mom and dad, you’re gonna have to keep me happy. Lucky for you, I’m very happy right now, snug inside this sweet little cunt of yours…” he trailed off, leaning down to kiss your cheek and moving to suck on your ear, bite your neck, lick up and down over your pulse. He was waiting, you realized, for your body to relax so he could move inside you with less resistance. You were a little surprised he didn’t just jackhammer into you with no regard for your pain, but you had a feeling that part was coming soon anyways.

He reached down to pull your legs up, guiding them to wrap around his hips, and the new angle forced his cock a little deeper which made you squeal. The sound morphed into a stuttered moan, however, when he pulled back out of you slowly, savoring every detail of your walls as he sighed against your skin.

When he slammed back home, your nails dug into your own palms.

“Baby,” he whispered, “you’re close, aren’t you? Just from this. You always came so fast in your videos…”

Irritatingly, he was right; your walls were flexing as more slick coated his thick shaft, dripping down until you could hear the wetness whenever his hips slapped into yours. You couldn’t help it, considering how he pushed right into your g-spot with every stroke inside you, hitting every sensitive place harder and better than any toy ever had.

“See, baby? We were made for each other,” he cooed. “You were made to take this cock. You were meant to be my little fucktoy.”

You hated the way his words only added to your pleasure, pushing you right up to the edge— which his cock slamming all the way into you one last time finally sent you over.

“Oh, fuck,” he gasped when he felt the force of your orgasm, smiling pridefully as your eyes fluttered shut and your head fell back against the couch. “So sensitive, sweetheart, and so fucking wet for me…”

He fucked you faster and— somehow— deeper, chasing his own release with aggressive thrusts into you. Each of his low grunts against your ear sent shivers down your spine, your legs around him tightening to pull him closer.

Just as you thought he might find his rhythm for a while and maybe, if you were lucky, be finished with you soon, he pulled out quickly and patted your thigh. “Hands and knees, baby,” he instructed, watching you shakily turn around and lift yourself on weak arms. It was short-lived, though, as he pushed your face back down into the couch cushion, forcing your back into a dramatic arch that made you feel like your body was on display for him. As if that wasn’t nerve-wracking enough, you couldn’t even see him much anymore, which meant you had no idea what he was reaching for when he leaned back— but you heard what it was when he turned it on. “Oh, you recognize this?” he mused. “It was my favorite of everything I saw you use.”

He rubbed the vibrator over your folds slowly, chuckling a little when you jolted each time it brushed against your clit. You didn’t really understand why he would want to fuck you with a vibe when he seemed to have been enjoying doing it himself; but then he slid it up a little higher, to your other hole, and you gasped. “S-Sam,” you pleaded.

“I know you took it here before. I watched you do it. I even heard you the night you filmed it— these walls are thinner than you think, sis.”

Shame burned on your face as you imagined him listening to you put something up your ass for the first time, only for him to see the video the next morning when you uploaded it.

“Do you think it’s gonna feel different when I put it in while I fuck you?” he mused, pushing the vibrating tip of it into your hole. Thankfully it was pretty slender, so the stretch wasn’t bad, but the vibrations were strong enough that you could feel them everywhere, and you realized he would be able to feel them, too, while he was inside you. “You’re gonna be so fuckin’ full, sis, stuffed to the brim just like you wanted.”

He pushed the toy in deeper until your hands clutched at the sofa beneath you, which was apparently his cue to guide his cock back into your drenched pussy. Just as he promised, you felt so full that you had no idea how to cope with it, your legs shaking as you tried not to collapse beneath him.

“Fuuuuuck,” he groaned, moving himself and the toy at alternating paces inside you as you mindlessly drooled onto the cushion, your overstimulated body barely able to handle the sensations he was forcing upon you. “You like being my little fucktoy, don’t you? You’re so pretty like this, so pretty being used just like you deserve.”

“Sammy, please,” you sobbed, barely intelligible as you couldn’t really string your thoughts together anymore.

“You want more, huh? Needy little slut,” he snarled, but the way he said it almost sounded like a compliment. It certainly made your heart swell as if it was. He fucked you faster, then, and pushed the vibrator as deep into your ass as it would go until you were sobbing and blubbering and basically just a complete mess beneath him. “Keep squeezin’ me so tight and I’m gonna come inside you, sweetheart,” he moaned.

Some part of your brain was still aware enough to know that that was not a good idea, but you didn’t even really think to tell him not to because you knew he would anyway. Finally, you had accepted that he was going to do whatever he wanted with you and your resistance only brought out his crueler side.

“Fuck, come again for me,” he demanded, “come on my cock while I come inside you— that’s it, cream on my fucking cock while I fill you up, slut.”

It was jarring, the way his words suddenly knocked you over the edge again as you cried out, fresh tears filling your eyes and joining the damp spot beneath your face on the couch. You felt both your holes clenching around the intrusions he had filled them with, your head going fuzzy and your limbs going numb from the intensity of your peak; waves of warmth washed over you as you slumped down a little bit, the distant sound of his praises just barely reaching your ringing ears.

His free hand held your hips tightly while the other kept pumping the vibrator into you, and even through all the overwhelming stimuli going on at the moment, you could feel his cock beginning to flex deep inside you. Each pump of his come painting the deepest parts of you coincided with a low moan from him, the sound so cruelly perfect and forcing your channel to clamp down on him, weakly, one last time.

“Fuck, baby…” he groaned as he caught his breath, turning off the vibrator before slowly pulling it out of you and tossing it aside. He kept his cock inside for longer, though, as he rubbed your ass and back gently. “You’re gonna be such a good little fucktoy for me, sis, I just know it.”

He let you drop when he pulled out of you, your spent body limp and leaking on the couch as he stared down at you.

“I think you need a shower, sweetheart,” he chuckled. “But first, you need to give me the password to your OnlyFans so I can help you delete it, okay baby? We don’t need anybody else looking at what’s mine.”

#sam wilson smut #dark!sam wilson x reader #sam wilson dark fic

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lilyrachelcassidy · 3 years

Text

Birthday Cake

A/N: Suprise folks!!! *me laughing maniacally* The whole scenery for this fic somehow appeared in my head and I just COULDN’T let it slip away, so... My biggest inspo for that was @drawlfoy!! Remember her posting the fic where Draco and Reader work at McDonald’s and are total suckers in their job (arguing with the customers; preparing wrong orders; etc.)? Dee unfortunately, deleted this precious, but it’s stuck to my head ever since (lol lol, it’s the moment where Dee wants to get rid of something, but I kindly remind everyone it existed). Therefore I present to you the next Draco x Reader fic related to our fav fast-food rest. This time, however, they’re not working at the same workplace but... I'm going to stop here cuz I don't want to spoiler :P

**The second thing that triggered me to write this fic is the YouTube video I recently saw with a lady who orders the 'specials' appearing to be out of the menu list of McDonald’s, through the Drive-Through. She asked for a birthday cake, was laughed at a few times, but eventually got what she wanted. Applause for the attitude!!

About the fic (context, my bitches): ofc it’s the modern AU, non-magical world. Draco’s the worst boyfriend ever but always manages to turn things into their righteous place.

Summary: The birthday is upcoming, and Draco is in a rush to think up an idea for a perfect gift. His ingenuity fails, however, and leaves Y/N very unsatisfied with a disaster that has been forged.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: my brain playing a total psycho, language, alcohol, sexual undertones/allusions to sex, Pansy being too much of her self... deal...

Tags: @drawlfoy @eltanin-malfoy

Such an unrestrained desire to strangle somebody you hadn't felt in a long time.

Really.

Today was your birthday, which you had been widely announcing for almost a whole month to people you might have accidentally forgotten about it. Having your boyfriend, Draco, on your mind in particular.

You doubted he would have the guts to omit your big day, though as repeatedly as he had done for a few years back. But something between foresight and the second sense of prevention told you to keep reminding him every day of the upcoming event, with a heap of birthday-themed emojis and uppercases in the messages.

Everything was planned out in your head: him picking you up from your house with the sharp-red cabriolet that he used only for special occasions; him driving the two of you to the fanciest restaurant he could find in town; him bestowing you with a nice-looking, golden necklace or a different piece of jewelry you had been suggestively pointing out in the store's exhibition; him booking up a hotel room for you two to celebrate.

Either way, that was much beyond your expectations, as it turned out. And now you were sitting in the front yard of your house, waiting for him to show up.

'If he was going to at all.' This thought invaded your mind for the last hour, try as might to subdue it. An hour you had been sitting tight, hoping it was only a delay caused by a traffic jam or other irrational explanation he could come up with. But you were deceiving yourself, you eventually presumed -- you had been checking up your phone every one minute, only to see if any message notification popped up on the screen, other than birthday wishes from friends who actually cared for you.

2.02pm: Nothing.

2.03pm: Susan 'Happy birthday bitch!'

2.04pm: Instagram notif. (Someone liked your photo, which you had posted before leaving your room, posing in front of the mirror in the best cocktail dress you could find in the wardrobe.)

2.05pm: Nothing yet again.

2.06pm: Still... Peace and quiet.

"Fuck it...Enough," you muttered under your breath, an annoying disillusionment falling like a heavy mile stone on your chest. Tears suddenly started sprinkling in your eyes at the regret, and you were very reluctant to admit that your friends were right -- Draco Malfoy was an egoistic, negligent, self-absorbed pri--

"Hi." You heard the raspy, panting voice says. "Sorry for the delay."

You blinked slowly, stupidly. You raised your head to assure yourself it was him. That his expression actually corresponded to his words and showed some kind of remorse for standing you up. But no... There he was: standing in front of you, plainly confident and unashamed, with his cocky smirk provoking you to slap him.

Oh, how much you craved to slap him right now. "Where to the fuck have you been?"

"I've tried to pick this up," he explained, simultaneously lifting up the paper bag he'd been carrying in his hand. The big, exclaiming letters 'McDonald's' with the brand's logo were printed on its exterior, and it was fully stuffed with something inside.

Not quite comprehending, you furrowed. You attempted to hide the venom in your voice, but somehow it found its way to leak out. "Couldn't you do that in advance?"

"Nope..." It was his turn to furrow, looking almost shocked with the question. And thanks to all those years of your relationship, you knew it was his piss-poor estimation of time taking over. "It was a last-minute surprise."

"Sounds like it," you commented irritably. "What's that?"

"Your birthday present, sunshine," he drawled happily, ignoring your remark. He sounded positively delighted and satisfied with himself at surprising you with that because he saw a slight crease of shock painting on your forehead. "Here you go."

You took his deposit out of his grasp, still quite unsure. What if his gift would only make a situation worse? Can it get any worse with Draco's total lack of tact? Yes. But it was only one way to find out.

Without even stealing a second glance at him, you ripped off all of the packaging that had been folded around, protecting the contents. You tried to do it carefully and without any impact of emotions revealing the way you felt inside, but your hands were shaking with rage, and you couldn't quite contain yourself. You had been highly aware you shouldn't have expected much from him, but still...

You wondered if the universe was playing against you.

There was a moment of tense silence as you struggled to deal with all the wrappings. Rather unfortunately, you wished you hadn't put so much effort in opening your so-called 'gift' because as you finally did, it only angered you more, seeing as the disappointment laughs at your face. And yes, as a matter of fact, the universe was against you today...

"Are you kidding me?" you asked in disbelief, fury reappearing in your eyes. "A birthday cake?! From McDonald's?" Ugly, little cake with the creepiest smiley face of a clown. It wasn't even fresh, you realized, when you smelled it and felt a musty reek of a freezer, it probably had been kept in. A confusing sense of sadness in your chest couldn't reach any higher at this point.

"Don't you like it?" he asked, detecting the wrath in your eyes. At that, you felt the dumbest urge to laugh and never stop. "I thought it'd be something original."

"Oh, I love it," you said sarcastically, a faint voice of hope telling you it was only a very bad joke was still lingering in your head. But it wasn't a joke.

"It's not just--" He struggled to form a coherent sentence. "I've been asking Blaise and Theo about any ideas. I told them, what you had said to me -- 'you didn't want anything fancy.' So we decided it's... something."

"Of course I didn't tell you I want anything, you dolt!" Your voice raised up almost two octaves, and the pulse sped up so fast it entailed a headache along. A neighbor from the opposite garden who was watering the flowers looked at you, startled, and eyes widened your exasperated tone. You didn’t care. "It's how it works: you don't tell other people you expect them to buy something!"

"But I'm your boyfriend. You shouldn't -- er-- feel uncomfortable to tell..."

"Exactly! As my boyfriend, you should have known!"

"Well... I didn't. If that's what's bothering you, we can...we can..."

"Stop." Listening to him and his pathetic excuses was the last thing you were going to do now. "What – why would you even – " You sputtered out, unable to process or express exactly what you were feeling. There was definitely anger and indignation. Curiosity, for another, as to why Draco would even fall for such foolish and ill-considered idea, and -- to the top of it -- hope it would make a good fit. And possibly, the last and most satisfying part, was the wicked impulse to throw the cake directly into his arrogant face, letting him taste his own medicine he had been serving you for years on each failed birthday.

"You know, for once, you could pay more effort and try doing something nice for me," you told him firmly, deflating to calm down your buzzing nerves.

"I've been tr--"

"Do you realize how much it costs me to pretend to be happy when you forget about me? Last year, I organized a big-ass party for your birthday, inviting over all of your friends and buying the best booze I could find to celebrate it properly," you said harshly and pretentiously, as you intended. "The best part is, you didn't even thank me." You stared at him, wringing your hands and expecting to perceive any trope of shame in his eyes. For the first time, you actually did.

"Listen, about that--" he calmly attempted to cut off your monologue.

"No, you listen..." Did you really want what was upcoming next? Maybe it was about time. "Today, I decided I'm standing up for myself. So, for the last time, get out from my porch."

He bristled, the thunderstruck air hanging around him. "Because of the stupid cake?"

"What?! No! It's just... I feel like you don't give a damn about me anymore." Gulp formed in your throat, and the tears finally left your eyes at the consciousness of what was happening. "I think we both deserve some time."

Your eyes moved to his, and you almost wished you hadn't looked. He was watching you, with pursed lips and a pure mixture of every emotion: anger, sadness, resentment, pretension, dejection. The faintest of his flustered blushes appeared on his cheeks, and you suddenly wished you could hug him. "So you are putting us..." His finger pointed at him and you as if expecting clarification. "...on a break? Is that what it is?"

You were truly torn, to be honest. Becoming single on your birthday was the last wish you had for this day, but you felt a strong sense of adequacy and pride for building up the boundaries of tolerance. Besides, seeing as it was heading nowhere, it was only a matter of time that your relationship came to an end.

Although, it hurt. A lot. "Yes."

You darted your eyes from him, not wanting to study his reaction in case it caused you to meltdown and jump to his embrace, apologizing endlessly for your words. You loved him. But you didn't regret what you had just said.

Something like a dry chuckle of disbelief escaped out of his mouth. "Is that what you really want?"

'No,' your thoughts prompted you instantly before you could even contemplate. 'I want you to say so many things you're never willing to say. But you don't know.'

So instead, you lied: "Yes."

All expressed, you spun around without peeking back and rushed into your room, already knowing there was no more sense in strives to make this day any better; all of it would bring only bad associations. It would be depressing, even more than it already was.

God, was it how the break-up pained? Because if so, you wanted to be deceased. The world spun suddenly, and you sank to your knees, shaking madly and doing your best to find your way back to your bed, located a few mere meters from you. Part of you felt numb, but your head was wide awake and alarming you that something in terms of a disaster had just happened. Because it did. The clutching in your chest was unbearable, and tears were dashing out of your eyes like a living waterfall, which made you bury your face in your hands. Never have you ever wanted to be so drunk before.

And so many questions rung up in your head at once.

Did you make a good decision? What if you are going to miss him, yet knowing you could never call? What about college -- are things about to get awkward?

No answers.

But you knew someone who would be able to reply to them.

With the blurred by tears vision, you struggled but managed to find your phone in the purse, and then clumsily scrolled through and tapped in your list of contacts before holding the phone to your ear.

Please answer, you begged. Please, please…

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Pansy's voice roared from the other side of a line, as always, enthusiastic.

"Pansy." You tried to sound less brokenly than you were, feeling marginally worse at the reminder of your birthday. "Is Daphne around?"

"Ouch, you're a really nasty bitch sometimes, you know. I'm not goin' to point out today, but since you didn't let me end my wishes, I'll note that for the future reference." You were sure she was grinning at the teasing, seeing as much as she liked that. Normally, you wouldn't mind, but... "How--"

"Pansy, please..." you sobbed out, almost desperate to have someone to consult and share emotions with. Daphne -- contrary to Pansy, who could be very judgy sometimes -- was someone you had especially on mind now. "I need to talk to her."

You heard her sigh; the kind of sigh she used to either prove her resignation or concern. But, as much as it surprised you, she suppressed her curiosity and, without a second word, obediently handed the phone over to Daphne. At least, that's what you assumed because you heard a pause and subdued mutters in the background.

"Y/N?" the milder tone spoke up, and you felt suddenly very strange as if submerged in water of relief; relief to hear the familiar voice. That released you from keeping a distant attitude, and yet again, a sadness washed over you, triggering a loud wail to come out of your mouth. "Y/N, is everything alright?"

"No..." you sniveled, unable to collect yourself together. "I-I... We br-brok-e up."

"You and Draco?" Daphne asked, astonishment evident.

You nodded but then remembered she couldn't see you nor read your expression. So instead, you forced your vocal cords to work again. "Mhm..."

"What happened?"

Restoring the story in your brain again, you told her everything, still tearfully but much more coherently this time. You avoided the details, briefly skipping from one utterance to another, as your conversations had gone, and you were very much thankful she didn't press for more information about the prospect of the situation. If it hadn't been her sporadic gasps or loud inhales of breath, you would have almost presumed she wasn't listening. However, she was, and as soon turned out, Pansy was as well.

"That's bananas!" Pansy shouted somewhere from the back as you had ended, and despite your gloom, you giggled quietly at her comment.

"Shush," Daphne tried to silence her, covering up the fact she had put you on the speaker. You didn't mind because you knew Pansy, who would definitely expect Daphne to cite the whole conversation if needed. But knowing Daphne as well, you could bet she flushed more than she would want to at that point. "So it all started because of the cake?"

"And the delay," you added. "But it's not just about that, obviously. It feels like... he completely stopped caring. And I don't want to be stuck in a relationship where everything is about sex and having fun only. Draco wasn't looking for a commitment, which..."

"Sucks,"ended this time Pansy unhesitatingly, who wasn't now screaming from the other part of a room but openly participating in the discussion.

"Yeah," you agreed.

"As for me, I think he might love you more than you know, Y/N." It was Daphne talking again, and she sounded positively convinced about her view as for someone who had hardly exchanged any word with Draco for the past few years. As if reading your thoughts, she continued. "I've observed you a lot. I know he might seem unemotional, but it's you who discovered him. That must require a lot of trust, you know."

You contemplated, and some of the memories and images from your first encounter run across your brain, try as might to suppress it: spotting each other at the party; binging some whisky shots together; flirty teasing; the very masculine scent of cologne; and then... more spicy recollections -- eager lips pressing against each other; against each others' necks; against other parts of the body; stripping off the clothes in the passionate haste...

Receiving a long moment of silence, Daphne took a second chance and asked. "And what's with you? Do you want to end it?"

It felt like standing before the oracle of truth. Therefore, you couldn't deny it in front of yourself. "No."

"So what're you still doing there?" commented Pansy impatiently, and you could imagine her rolling the eyes. "Get out and find him!"

She was right. You will.

XOXOXOXO

"I thought I'd find you here..."

No. Actually, you didn't.

You had tracked Draco's phone with your own one with some help of an app that, as the two of you had established still in the relationship, would be a good idea in case of an emergency. That in itself proved to be more than helpful, believing that your argument may be pinned as something in terms of an emergency, right?

So having access to his location, you had found out he was in the park where he had taken you on the first date, shortly after dinner, to watch the sunset that, as he had described, 'was a typical cliche from every romantic movie.'

But you had fallen for that. So much.

You hadn't been aware the place had actually some meaning for him until now, and that... God, that he had even remembered it. Time showed, however, that it indeed did, to which your heart reacted with a happy jolting. But also with a nasty sting of nostalgia following shortly after.

Yet, that only had encouraged you to make up your mind and go looking for him, which hadn't been such a difficult task per se. He was sitting on the bench, in the shade of a tree, and hiding his a little too delicate skin from the sun rays. As soon as he had heard your voice, his gray eyes flew up to see you standing a few meters away.

"What are you doing here?" was the immediate question that tumbled out of his mouth. He arched his eyebrow, and to your surprise, he didn't even look angry or sad with you. Nothing near the edge; actually, almost something like the amusement was painting on his face.

"Aren't you mad with me?" you asked intrigued, completely forgetting about his question.

He frowned. "Why would I be?" His tone was so mild that you weren't sure if he was referring to the double meaning; but then he smirked playfully and said, "Besides, I knew you were coming."

"Wha-- How?" you asked, eyes dilating a fraction, in shock.

He smirked, pointing at his phone in an explanatory manner. After a moment, you finally figured out what he meant: the app must have registered he had been tracked and that your phone was trying to find his. At this notice, you reacted with a wave of flush, suddenly regretting your previous lie. His smile only widened at your expression. "Wanna sit? It's plenty of room here."

"Mhm..." You nodded, pleased to accept his offer, and walked over to the bench, doing your best to hide the evident embarrassment on your face. You felt strange he had taken you with such ease, seeing as merely two or three hours ago, you had burst at him like a cram-full volcano of unspoken emotions.

Draco shifted a package from his side, making more space for you to sit, and it took you a moment to realize it was a McDonald's cake from earlier. Everything started from that -- a stupid, little piece of cake which stood up between...

You shook the thought away, taking a seat next to him, close enough to smell his sandalwood cologne. "You didn't answer my question," Draco reminded you. "What's so important to make you track my phone?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" You rounded your face to him, flustrated, leaning at the backrest of a bench. "That's why I came. I wanted to apologize."

"Oh... Couldn't you call?"

You sighed. "I figured you wouldn't want to talk to me after...you know... our quarrel," you said half-despondent, half-desperate, watching your feet as if it were the most interesting thing to peer at now. "I didn't mean what I said earlier."

"I know," he said. Out of nowhere, he was gently grasping your palms which forced you to look up directly into his intense gaze. His eyes were swirling like molten silver at you. "But I should be apologizing, love. I made a mistake, okay?" His hands traveled all across to your tense shoulders, squeezing them lightly. "I know I should be more... affectionate with you. And this was...dumb. A dumb mistake. With that cake. But I'll try to be better if you give it another shot."

He looked so serious that you instantly believed him. You wanted to actually, with all force of longing, which grew up too rapidly in you when he wasn't around. Draco was a fool, you could easily say. But he was your fool, which was a thing you couldn't be more proud of.

Peeking slowly in the other direction, you asked, out of the topic, "You remembered the place?"

"Of course," he puffed jokingly, smiling. "Our first date. Officially our place from then on."

"Right..." You smiled back.

Honestly, the mere fact that he had called this spot 'yours' warmed up your heart, and you felt yourself grinning at his never-before-discovered emotionality. To assure yourself you weren't the only one caring, it was all you needed to hear.

The whole moment was intense, and now, you realized, is when you should have hugged him. Kissed him. Said something back at his sincere endearment.

But instead, spotting plastic cutlery next to your 'gift', you asked, "So what's the taste of the birthday cake?"

And you knew he had caught the subtext of your playful inquiry. And you knew that soon you would work things out again. But, as for now...

"I thought you would never ask."

XOXOXOXO

A/N: Looooooool. Such a drama-comedy, right? And I could easily say It feels like 50% Draco-x-Reader / 50% Draco-x-BirthdayCake... But whatever (2am is working like a drunken bud, folks). Happy beginning of August :)

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p---ink · 4 years

Text

White.

Author’s Note: First Chris Oneshot. It was supposed to be a blurb/drabble, but I think its a bit too long for that now. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this filth. Also you ever get that feeling, where you feel like you've came up with an idea in your head originally, but also feel like you may have seen it somewhere else? Yea that's how I feel about this piece. So if you've read something similar to this, please link it and let me know so I can edit or delete this post altogether.

Summary: Chris greets you after a long day at work, with some TLC.

Word Count: 2.9k.

Warning: Fluff and Smut. Oral (female receiving), fingering, Semi-mean Daddy Chris, over-stimulation, multiple orgasms, and I think...maybe that’s it? Please let me know if I forgot something.

Disclaimer: Gif is not mine.

“The kids are asleep?” You whispered, when he held his finger to his lips upon your arrival.

“Yea, I just laid Ezra down. That is one rowdy little person.” He said chuckling, leaning down to plant a kiss on your mouth. He held you by your waist to pepper more along your face.

“Chris baby, you are a God-send.” You sighed, leaning in to his touch. “You will not believe the shitty day I had.”

“Hold that thought and take a seat, doll” he ordered, urging you towards the living room by your shoulders. “I’ll be right back.” He promised.

You sighed as you threw your work bag down on the love chair beside you, kicking your shoes off in the process. When you crossed the room to drop down on the sofa, the weight of today’s events crushed you instantaneously, as you waited for your husband to return.

You’ve been married for six years, and he’s been good to you for all of them. Great even. He always listened, and almost never complained. How could he when he was usually away, due to his job?

He was forever busy with filming, press tours and whatnot. It made him feel guilty to leave you and your sons so often. So any time he was at home for a break, he took full advantage. He spent time with his boys, and then the rest with you, spoiling you all with his love.

Preoccupied with your stress, you almost failed to notice Chris taking a seat in front of you. He took hold of one of your legs, and that’s when you noticed your spa-kit placed next to him.

“Baby, you don’t have to do this.” You cried, scrunching your face in relief when he rubbed your calf in just the right spot.

Chris flashed those pretty baby blues at you, along with that signature smug smirk. “You know I do. And you know I want to.” He said, before dousing his hands with oil.

As he firmly massaged the coconut into your skin, you couldn’t help but marvel at him. Taking a pillow into your arms to hug, and hide your giddy smile, you reply with, “What I did I do to deserve you?”

“Well I would tell you, but I don’t have enough time, because you’ve got to tell me about what’s got my girl so upset.” He informed you with a stern look that read who do I have to kill? “Before you do that,” he started, placing your newly moisturized leg down before grabbing the other, “Choose a color.”

You tucked your bottom lip between your teeth, peering over to take a look into the open basket. It had an assorted amount of different nail polishes and products for nail care. Your favorite color currently decorated the bottom of the basket, and it made you recall the time your oldest son Jeremy spilled its contents over while playing a game of “paint” about a week ago. That boy. You thought, shaking your head playfully. Well I guess I won’t be choosing that one.

After a moment of close examination, and scrutiny, you chose “White”, which made Chris immediately stop his measures against your legs, to peer up at you through hooded lids.

“So its one of those days, huh.” He smirked. “I was hoping you’d pick that one.”

“What do you mean by that?” You questioned. You hadn’t known he preferred certain colors on you.

“I’ll tell you later, but first tell me about your day baby.”

He didn’t need to tell you twice. You were dying to get it all off your chest. You spilled out your hearts content, as your husband massaged your legs, then your feet, and in between your toes. As he delicately removed the old paint from your last session, and proceeded to paint your feet, you were almost finished relaying the message.

“…and its just like they treat me like I’m insane! But you know what? The way i’m always overlooked, and ignored, makes me feel like I am going insane. Every time I suggest an idea, its stupid. But let some asshat say the exact same thing, and they praise him like a god.” You complain, rolling your eyes, at your memories from your work day.

Chris offered you the occasional nod or two, humming softly at your cries of frustration when needed. And as much as he wanted to offer his two cents on the matter, he knew that what you wanted most was to be heard. You just wanted to be listened to. And while you wouldn’t of minded him beating their asses, he knew you needed his tenderness. His love. His care. And so that’s what he gave you.

“And you know why they do it right? It’s because I’m a woman! A black one at that. Lord Jesus, it pisses me off so much.” You sigh, finally bringing your eyes down to him, after they had been trained on the air and nothingness around you; you had a habit of re-living stories as you told them. “But honey, this has really helped out a lot.” You say, cupping his chin lovingly.

“You know I’ll do anything for you doll. And fuck those sons of bitches. They’re idiots if they can’t see how amazing you are. If you quit, like I suggested a while ago, that’ll really show ‘em.” Chris exclaimed, applying a second coat of white.

“Now you know I love what I do. I just wish I was more appreciated is all!”

He gave you a sympathetic look before saying, “well you know me and the boys appreciate you.”, running his fingers along the ridges of your toes to remove the misapplied dye on your skin.

“I know you do baby. I mean look at what you’re doing for me now.” You said, gesturing towards the care he took with your feet.

Chris just smiled in response. He only felt slightly defeated when you rejected his idea to stay at home. You told him many stories about the jerks you worked with. You were among one of the only women at your company, and you paid for that fact daily. You told him, how they would talk to you, and treat you, even though you had the same amount, if not more experience as they did. He didn’t want you to have to put up with that. He wanted you to kick your feet up and enjoy the life he would provide for you and the kids you both created. But, like the supportive husband he was, he honored your wishes to pursue your passions. He knew that was what made you happier at the moment. The time would come, where he could spoil you completely, though.

“Speaking of this,” You started, motioning towards your feet once more. “What’d you mean when you said “So it’s one of those days, huh”” You asked, putting on your best impression of him.

Chris put on a smile that could light up a room, as a deep throaty chuckle erupted from his chest, and vibrated through your body via your feet. “Is that what you think I sound like? No matter, I’ll tell you what I meant. I can predict exactly what it is you need, and how you feel, based on the nail polish color you choose.” He said confidently, picking up a clear polish to apply the final coat.

“Is that right?” You ask, failing to take him seriously, even when he flashed that cocky grin and brow twitch that he often used to back his claims. “You’re so full of shit.”

“Seriously. I can. Listen.” He informed you, opening the clear polish, and brushing the access paint along the insides of the bottle. “I can prove it.”

“Fine! Go ahead.” You state, becoming intrigued.

Delicately holding your left foot against his knee, he starts explaining his theory while applying polish. “You see, when you choose a pale blue or orange, I know you just wanna forget about things with a movie or a cuddle session. Forest green or black, when you feel like throwing a couple of shots back with your girls at a bar. Mauve and a nude of any kind are your favorites, and you request them when you need to feel in control, classy, or sophisticated. And you always choose a soft pink, or yellow, when you need a happy reminder, or a burst of energy and inspiration. Lavender, is a color I wish you’d choose more, since it represents your happiness. Gray, is a color I wish you’d choose less, since it means you’re sad. And then there’s plum purple and candy apple red, two colors I can’t get enough of. You want those, when you’re feeling sexy. See, baby I can read you like an open book.” He declared, moving on to your second foot. Feeling quite sure of himself.

You just stared at him in awe. Then you realized he didn’t mention, the one he just spent ten minutes applying. “You forgot about white.”

“Oh I didn’t forget angel.” He corrected, smirking as he finally finished painting both feet. “I’m just waiting on your toes to dry.” After he says this, he begins to sensually blow cool air on your toes.

“Chris! Tell me what it means!” You pout playfully, growing fed up with his secrecy. Also tickled from the air he blew.

“Fine. But be quiet, you don’t wanna wake those little demons.” He warned, fixing you with a stern look that made you erupt into quiet giggles. He always made you laugh with his juxtaposed funny-seriousness. He was seriously funny. “White is my absolute favorite. You wanna know why? Its simple, and doesn’t drown out your pretty personality. It goes with every outfit, purse, and hairstyle. You wear this color, when you’re frustrated. Exasperated. Annoyed. You choose white, when you need me to wrap those pretty little legs around my neck, so I can make you cum till kingdom come. Or until you see, ‘white’. Whichever comes first”. He finished, staring at you seriously all of the sudden. A thick silence had befallen the two of you, and you almost didn’t know how to escape it.

After a moment, you break out into a smile, despite Chris’ unmoving features. “Are you sure that’s what I want? Or is it something you want?”

“It’s what you need.” He affirmed, finally matching your expression, only his smile held a lot more lust than yours. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“I’ll tell you something alright, Chris. I think you paint my nails entirely too much.”

He lets out a breathy chuckle, moving to pack up the spa kit, before saying “So in other words I’m right.” He rises to his feet, peering down through his long lashes with a knowing grin, before turning to leave the room. But not without saying, “Don’t worry baby, I’ll give you what you need.” Leaving you an anxious mess.

You start squirming in your seat, waiting with anticipation for him to return. You try to sit in your sexiest pose, but it makes you feel awkward. Then you start to wonder if you should remove your underwear. But you know he likes doing that. You even wonder if you smell okay, after such a long day at work. A million thoughts race through your mind, and you barely register his presence when reenters the room. You slightly jump, when you feel his warm hands brush against the nape of your neck.

“Shit baby.” Chris laughs, as he rounds the couch. “I knew it was bad, but I didn’t realize how bad. Let daddy, handle this for you.” He says kneeling back in front of you, knees tucked firmly under his person. He smoothes his hands over the expanse of your soft supple skin, leaving a burning trail of desire in his wake. When he hooks his fingers underneath the waistband of your panties, your breath hitches as the cool air hits your moistened sex.

You lift your thighs and legs, so he can carefully remove the lace without ruining his handwork on your feet. When Chris surveys your dampened panties and inhales their scent, his grin grows wider. “You’re already this wet for me?”

He gives you no time to answer as he’s pulling you closer to his face, by your thighs. The sudden movement caused a whimper to escape your throat, soft sound making his cock harden. He’s working his kisses up against your thighs with a quickness, ready to produce more sounds like the last.

Your head’s position on the couch has you feeling a bit awkward, and you go to say “This is uncom—” but cut yourself off with a moan, as he dives his thick tongue between your petals, writing love notes against the skin.

“What’s that, doll?” Chris asks, hot breath dangerously close to your bud.

You just mewl in response, wetting his beard with your juices, as he eats you like you’re his last meal. “Right there baby.” You groan, grinding yourself against his mouth when his tongue darts against your nub.

“Right here?” He questions softly, repeating the same gestures, sending a jolt through your body that makes you buck against his face.

Your words leave your throat, as he sucks harshly against the problem areas, shocks of pleasure emitting through your person. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, he adds his fingers. First two, but then three as he starts fucking your pussy.

“D-daddy!” You cry, voice coming out shaky as you writhe against his lips and fingers. His actions have you climbing up the couch.

Then he removes his lips, warning you to keep quiet. “My babies are upstairs, I’m gonna need you to keep your pretty mouth shut.” He commands, placing your soaked panties between your lips.

As he quickens the pace of his fingers, and makes his tongue dart from left to right relentlessly against your clit, you approach your first orgasm of the night, and he knows it too, when your hole clenches around his fingers.

He smiles, and tells you how proud of you he is, but he isn’t done with you yet.

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

Your muffled moans ring through your ears, as you clamp your teeth down around your underwear. Your jaw was becoming slack from keeping it open so long, and you were feeling sore.

Chris was still continuing his assault against your sex. He had long moved from his position on the floor, and now sat beside you on the couch.

He had your legs sprawled open, keeping them from closing with one hand gripped on your thigh, and the other rubbed fast and hard circles against your clit, while he whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

“What number was that one, baby? Five, six? I lost count after the third time, when you squirted on daddy’s chest.” He growled, biting his lip, as he quickened his pace against your nub. “Do you think you can do that again?”

You moaned in protest, shaking your head from left to right, as you approached another orgasm. You couldn’t take anymore pleasure, your sensitive bud was going through too much.

“What’s that baby? I can’t hear you.” He teased, face as serious as it could be. He was testing you. You knew not to remove the underwear, or you’d be there all night. When you made no moves to pull them out, he did it for you, a string of spit connecting your lips to the fabric.

You immediately pleaded with him to ease up. “Daddy I don’t think I-I can take an-nymore.” You cried, now a blubbering mess.

“You don’t think you can take anymore?” Chris repeated, mocking you. “Well that’s too bad. Daddy thinks his princess looks too pretty when she’s cumming. So suck it up, because I’m not stopping until we have to replace this couch.”

You felt that familiar coil in your stomach again, threatening to snap, as you threw your head back. You were a sweating mess now. You had hair glued to your face, and neck, and your shirt was drenched, as it clung to your stomach. But still, it wasn’t quite as drenched as your pussy, thighs, and couch cushions were.

Chris was as hard as a rock, but you knew if you touched him, he’d get angry. He wanted to play with you, until you were begging him to stop.

“What happened today at work again baby? What was it Chad said to you? I bet if I have you fucked out like this every night, I’d be the only man on your mind.” He whispered against your ear.

Your stomach began spasming, as you clenched painfully around nothing. This would be your last one too, before your body gave up.

Tears streamed down your cheek, as you contorted your face into the sexiest expression Chris had ever seen. And then, just before your screams of pleasure could rip through your chest, he covered his mouth over yours, as you squirted all over his hands, your thighs, and stomach. When you finally opened your eyes, you could only see white, before your vision came back into focus.

Massaging the wet, between your folds, Chris bought his fingers up to your lips and said “open.” And you did, sucking all your juices from his digits without breaking eye contact. “Attagirl.” He praised, wiping your tears away. Feel better now?” He asked, small smirk playing on his lips.

You nod tiredly, throat dry from your previous activities.

He brushes your sweaty hair behind your ears before saying, “Good. Now, let’s paint those pretty pink walls white, too.”

#Chris Evans smut #Chris Evans fluff #chris evans x reader #black reader #Chris evans #marvel smut #marvel fluff #captain america #Steve rogers #ransom drysdale

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deviantartdramanow · 2 years

Text

Response EstelPaimon

Being neutral does not mean flipping between sides. You do not get to switch sides when the opposing side has been finished off by someone else and you weren’t the one who made it. That is a plain dick move and it means you have a problem about being not the one who deals the finishing move.

Hi, This is a post I wasn’t looking forward to doing. However with the recent attitude of this stupid brat I cannot lay silent and let him yell at me in private and cry harassment about me in public. Let me begin by prefacing that Red is 15, and that Red

most likely doesn’t understand what he’s doing is wrong/ he probably doesn’t understand the damage he is doing by making this, and he still has time to grow and learn from this

. This starts with the video from TallTheRify

(

https://youtu.be/IQ1Jt430vh4

). Yeah, TallTheRify that got chased off the platform. Red, or better known as user hgdggfgdbfet in this case, came to Rify’s aid and began encouraging to Rify to come back

(

https://sta.sh/2b3dyhn7w8

). He was confronted by Eliza(who was told by an anonymous but reliable source) but her comment was deleted swiftly with no reply whatsoever. A few days later Rify had reactivated, and this time Yasumi and Eliza(including me) came to confront hgdggfgdbfet/Red about this. To which he blatantly says “fuck you, you messy hypocrites harassing Rify and me.” I got blocked after this, so I left it be and continued on my way(this was also when Eliza deactivated as we both agreed the harassment is getting too much and she needed a break). Timeskip next day I get a barrage of angry messages of this dude unblocking me and screaming at me and saying alot of shit things about me

(

https://sta.sh/210nt5mr9hzg?edit=1

). I ignore it and block, then I thought that was it. Yeah, no it didn’t. Why? I showed the DMs to a closed group of friends, and today I got screenshots from Starsparkz and a certain nemesis of mine about Red and Rify. I read it all and Red, will you stop assuming every person going to you about me or my niece is us block evading? Can you also stop crying I’m harassing your ass when I legit said I was taking a break like legit stop pls >->; and Rify. I hate my nemesis but she was saying the truth, here are the DMs from both users so you can all see;

https://sta.sh/21z5ub9vgkls

(in the process of being fixed and added) and

https://imgur.com/a/B8CM6UD

. Red,

YOU

lost

respect. You’re flopping between two sides because you weren’t the one who got Rify off the site and that Rify was going to stay gone until your lonely ass decided to beg for her to come back. That is fucking stupid and you’re hellbent on controlling your own groomer. See? I only called her groomer now. Your ass is out here screaming at me and my niece that we kept harassing her and you but since when? You legit waited until Rify was gone for a good while before suddenly begging her back and calling her then crying we harassed you and her.

You are reigniting drama and trying to make more by making Rify come back and roping us in here. You are fucking terrible and I hope you get karma on your ass.

To that angeldust anon, thank you for coming to me actually. As a way to repay here are archive links for your post, they’re in order of each link, so thanks again>.>.

Mod note: I’ve also included these links in the original post, thank you again.

https://archive.md/srU7U

https://archive.md/9WBe0

https://archive.md/r9b3y

(

https://sta.sh/018elmyen2x3

for original hidden comment)

https://archive.md/nFOWq

https://archive.md/Ni9lM

https://archive.md/9c2Al

https://archive.md/Xq2om

https://archive.md/zS10o

https://archive.md/aGUs1

https://archive.md/nvzFH

https://archive.md/oyeGo

https://archive.md/Q0O3t

https://archive.md/sp9EO

#submission #drama #deviantart #response #reddragondraws #talltherify29

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wildlittlefoxsworld · 4 years

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You are so annoying, baby | Bucky Barnes x reader

So, this fic is original mine. If it's maybe familiar to you, I posted it two years ago here, but it was deleted. Now I hope it stays, have fun!

...

You enter the living room as you hear Bucky and Steve talking about the last mission.

„Buck, I know it went a little out of control, but you can’t blame her for every time it goes wrong.“

You stop immediately when Bucky glances at you. You frown confused as Bucky stares at you with a angry sight.

„Did I something wrong?“ you ask innocently as you could.

„You… you… argh, you make me crazy!“ Bucky responds aggresively.

„What?“ Now you’re defenitly confused.

„The best thing as winter soldier was that I’ve worked alone. No one else I’d to keep an eye on. But now you’re always there, and it drives me mad!“ He shouts back. „You’re risky, I never know what you’re going to do next, you can’t follow orders, and that’s the reason why we’re always in danger.“

Your jaw drops open and you blink a few times. You can’t believe that he does this again. Blaming you for a little mistake on the mission.

„Don’t forget, I was the one who saved your ass in the end.“

„But you opened the fucking the door instead my order to leave quietly the building.“

„I thought we could escape faster.“

„Well, don’t think, just take orders. You know what? All the talking, and the arguing and the complaining! You’re the virago here!“

„Oh yeah?“

„Yeah. You think you're right about everything you say and do.“

„What else?“

„Your lip curl when you look at me angrily, that’s sweet, but it drives me mad, too.”

„Keep it coming.“

„You’re always so annoying. Everything must be clean and tidy up. You must always have the last word.“

„Is that all you got?“

„And then you get inside of people's minds and drive them crazy.“

„Well at least I got a mind, because if I don’t, the missions would always goes wrong, because you’re always with one foot in the grave and then I need an idea to save your stupid dickhead.“

With this last words you spin around and trudge off. Bucky is a jerk, all the time. You never see him talk to others like that, but he’s always angry with you. He’s so annoying. You really want to punch him in his face for his stubborn behavior not to admit that he sometimes fucks it up as well.

You walk as fast as you can back to your room, with your head down and cursing in a low voice what an idiot Bucky can be. You don't see the person that watches you since your argument with Bucky and you bump in the person, but you don't fall, because a firmly grip helps to stand.

You look up and see Nat's big grin on her red lips. Slowly she lets go off you and you nod to signal that you're fine.

„Sorry, Nat, I didn't see you,“ you say with a little smile. You're sure she heard everything about what you were fighting with Bucky. She's a ex-russian spy, it's obviously that she never misses what happens in the tower

„Is he this jerk again?“ she asks laughing. „That's hilarious. You did nothing wrong, he just couldn't handle the situation; because his focus is always on you. He's so worried to keep you save that he forgets his own defense. He doesn't hate you! Bucky just... well, you should ask him yourself.“

You shake lightly your head by her words. Is she right? Bucky can't worry about you, because... you don't know why. You're sure he doesn't like you and just searches someone to blame for his failures. You think Bucky can't handle that a women always saves his stupid ass, he's really a man of the fourties.

„Go rest a little, Y/N. It was a stressful week. He will settle down.“

With this words Nat pushes you in direction of your room and you go with a confused mind to sleep.

It’s middle of the night when Bucky awakes, sweaty and heavy breathing, his heart races in his chest and his hard member forming a tent under the blanket.

This isn’t the way his dream supposes to ends.

He closes his eyes and your face appears in his minds again. Scrunching in lust and desire as he pounds into your wet pussy merclessly. He’s kicking the blanket off, a hand touches slightly his member and he begins to stroke himself. His mouth fells open in a quielty moan, all he needs is salvation.

This dream lets him feel exactly what he wants, but he knows that he could never has you like this. You’re only in his mind; only in his minds he makes you screaming his name, begging him for more, begging him for fucking you harder. He wants to punish you so bad for your provoking words earlier this day.

With these thoughts his hips jerkes up in his hand and he speeds up his movements. „Oh, fuck, doll!“, he mumbles. „You’re taking my cock so good.“

What he doens’t know, you could hear all of his words and moans. The walls are thin and you have a good sense of hearing. You ask yourself who Bucky thinks about, who turns him so extremly on. You wishes it’s you, but as the youngest Avengers you’re sure he will never see you in this way. Besides he’s always upset about you and you both always arguing or ignoring each other. But when he looks at you with this fury in his eyes, the heat raises between your legs and all you want is that he fucks you right there on the floor or against the wall.

You reason that is better you going to the kitchen and get you a glass water to calm yourself down, because his moans arouses like nothing else you can imagine.

With a frustated sigh you swing your legs over edge of your bed, rushing barefoot down the hallway. The ground is cold under your feet, but a perfect opposite to your heated body. Your thoughts wander to Bucky, especially what he could do with you right now. You imagine he‘s coming in the kitchen, grabbing your hips and pressing you with his muscular body against the counter, kissing you deeply and hungrily. Oh fuck, your legs feel like jelly and you can’t take it anymore. You need to touch yourself to release this pressure between your legs.

Your fingers clench around the sink and you lean yourself on the mentioned counter. You support yourself with your left arm and your right hand slip down into your shorts. You’re dripping wet, and you moan shortly as you circling your fingers around your clit. Your head sink down and you rest your forehead on the cold countertop.

Bucky cleans himself from the mess he did a few seconds ago as he was spilling his cum all over his stomach. His throat feels dry and he decides he needs a drink to calm down his nerves. He makes his way to the living room, but he stares at your door as he passes your room. He thinks that you’re probably sleeping peacefully and what you would do if he enters your room, lying side to side with you, touching your soft skin. He shakes his head and goes with hurry further.

„Oh!“ he hears your moaning out of the kitchen. He stops at the corner and tries to figure out who is in the kitchen, because he doesn’t know it’s you.

„Ahhh!“ you moan a little louder and he peeks around the corner. Bucky’s eyes widened by the sight of you pleasuring yourself. He can’t understand you do this in the kitchen in the middle of the night where everyone could catch you. His flesh hand clenches a fist as his cock turns hard again as he watches your hips rocking with the movements of your hand. In his minds raises the memory how he would love to fuck you like in his dream.

„Oh Bucky!“ you mumble loud enough for him to hear. You’re thinking of him. He can’t believe it, but it changes all for him. His brain swaps to autopilot and all he could think about is to make you his.

„Bucky please!“

He slowly steps forward, never leaving your arching body with his eyes. He isn’t able to see much of you, because you’re still covered in your white shirt and yellow shorts. Bucky is behind you now and you don’t notice his presence. You’re lost in your daydream about Bucky touching you everywhere, don’t expect it becomes in a few seconds reality.

„Let me you help you, doll,“ Bucky offers in a husky voice and touches your arm slightly. Your head spin immediately around and you look shocked at him. There stands the man of your dreams who give you sleepless nights as you're touching yourself to the pictures of his sweaty body while he's training in the gym.

He pulls your hand gently out of your shorts, but his eyes are locked with yours. His pupils are blown with lust, so you can’t see the blue anymore.

He let go of your arm, and you lay your hand on his arm now. You don’t know what he‘s going to do, but you know he wouldn’t hurt you.

Bucky’s hand lays flat against your stomach, slowly he slips his hand in your shorts and only his light touch of his digits on your clit make you shiver. Your mouth escape a frustrated moan. You want him to touch you with more eagerness.

„If you want to take care of my problem, then do it, otherwise let me finish it by myself,“ you say furious and he just shrugs.

Bucky pushes your shorts down and it fells to the floor. You step out of it and kick them aside.

„Can you give me more access to pleasure you?“ he asks gently and you spread your legs a little further. Bucky begins to rub your swollen clit harshly, your head falls back on his shoulder and you feel the knot in your lower stomach to tighten again. You bit hard on your lip to stop yourself from moaning.

Bucky’s finger do magic to your body and you should be embrassed that he’s touching you in this way, but you don’t care. Bucky drives you crazy for weeks now, his muscular body, especially when he’s training. The way he bites his lips when he discusses concentrated. His messy, long hair with these curls at the end. Oh yes, you want him for so long, and the fighting between the both of you forments the sexual tension.

His metal hand caresses the skin from your tight under the hem of your shirt to find your breast, the coldness of the metal against your scorching skin, make you shudder in pleasure. He kneeds your left breast hard and rubs you between your legs a little harder.

„Take your shirt off,“ he demands and with shaky hands you free yourself from the tee. His left hand goes higher and wraps around your throat, it doesn't hurt, but you can feel the strenght in his metal hand, he could break your fragile neck in a second. But now it's pure erotic as his index finger runs smoothly along your bottom lip and you suck gently on his fingertip.

„Oh yes, doll, I can't wait to feel this pretty lips around my cock later.“

Bucky is overwhelmed by the feeling he gets while touching you. He isn’t sure if that is just a dream or reality, but it doesn’t matter to him, he wants that this never ends. His cock is painfully hard in his sweatpants and he needs to be inside you.

„Doll, you’re so fucking wet!“ You can’t hold back a moan at his words and his digits dives further between your folds. You shiver at this new sensation, you want so much more, you want him so bad.

„Bucky, please!“ you cry out. Oh, this words make him groan and he shoves two fingers inside your dripping hole. He curls them against your walls, and you try your best to hold your orgasm back. You want to come when he’s inside of you.

„Do you want my cock, Y/N? Do want me to fuck right here?“ Bucky doesn’t wait for your answer. He pushes his sweatpants hastily down, his cock sprungs free and hits you between your asscheeks. He presses you against the counter and he pulls his fingers out of you. You whine about the lost of contact, but he only does this to seize his cock and directs the tip to your entrance.

„Oh, please, I want your cock. Please, fuck me, Bucky,“ you’re panting loud. „Please… James.“

The way you say his first name with this begging tone in it, makes him only harder.

„I’ll make you feel good,“ he responds with his rapsy voice. „Lean down for me.“

You obey to his order and you support your weight on your forearms. Your heart races in your chest and your breath is going faster. Your head hangs down and you wait for him to do something. Bucky’s hand disappears from your folds, he grabs your hips hard and he’s nudging your entrance with the tip of his cock.

„You’re so annoying,“ you say through clenched teeth. Bucky hates when you say things like that, he’s sure that you hate him, but if you really do, why let you fuck him you? He doesn’t want to think about it now, he only wants to fuck you merclessly until you scream his name.

You yelp as his thick cock enters you fully and stretches your walls painfully. He doesn’t give you a second to adjust, he pulls back and slams his cock back into your pussy. He repeats his movements again and again. You cry out as he lifts one of your legs to place it one the counter and watches how he pounds into you.

„Y/N, you’re so tight and my cock glistens from your juices.“ Your pussy feels like heaven to Bucky. He tries a different angle and you sream as he hits your sweet spot. Bucky chuckles behind you, and you know that he’s proud that he finds your sweet spot, but you don’t complain, it only makes you feel better and better.

You’re sure that you would have bruises on your hips from his strong grip tomorrow, but this would be worth it, because he feels so good. With every thrust he goes deeper in your pussy and brings you both near your climax.

Bucky begins to place open-mouthed kisses at your back, between your blades, over your neck and he takes your hair in a fist to pull your head up. His weight presses the edge of the counter into your stomach, but it doesn’t hurt ‘cause you can only concentrate on your raising orgasm.

Your mouth escapes loud moans and your eyes are closed. „Look at me,“ he growls and your eyes meet. His movements go sloppy and you know he will cum when you’re cumming.

„That‘s it, Y/N. Will you cum for me? Cum all over my cock!“ Your walls clench in a steady rhythym around his cock as your climax hits you hard.

„James!“ You scream his name and this is all he needs to come near the salvation. You feel him throbbing in your pussy.

„Say it again! Who owns your pussy?“ He doesn’t stop thrusting in you, riding you through your orgasm.

„You… James… only you!“ you scream and his name comes from your lips like a prayer.

„Oh fuck, Y/N,“ he cums with a gutteral groan and fills you up properly. The feelings make your sight blurry and it’s nearly goes black. An orgasm was never strong as Bucky made you felt.

Hard breathing he burries his head in the crook of your neck. You both come slowly down from your high and you realize what happened, and you can only thank Jesus Christ for this.

You feel light kisses at the skin of your neck and he looses the fist in your hair. His mouth wanders to your shoulder, the tip of his tongue draws little circles there. Your body quivers at this feeling, and you recognize he's still rocking hard in you as he moves in you as he takes your leg back to the ground.

You walls tighten around his cock and you take a sharp breath.

„Bucky... I can't... too much,“ you stutter and Bucky kisses your temple softly.

„I take care of you,“ he whispers and pulls himself out of your sensitive core.

You don't know how the atmosphere turns from wild, hot, rough fucking to this soft and loving care, but you like it alot.

Bucky takes you bridal style in his arms and leaves with you the kitchen back to his room. You're the first time in his room, but you only keep attention to his deep blue eyes. There is still lust, but they softened.

He lays you down on his comfy bed and you sigh luxurious as you watch how he removes his sweatpants fully. Now you can see finally his hard member, how proud it points in your direction. You bite your lip and you're excited what going to happen, because you're sure Bucky can be very gentle.

„I want you. I want make love to you every day. You can't imagine how often I dreamt about this.“

You melt at his words. The man that always arguing with you and looking at you like you betrayed him in the worst ways, let your heart swallows of affection.

He climbs on the bed, his hands touches your knees and he opens your legs with light pressure. His eyes scans your whole body and it makes you feel eligible. His sight is glued to your pussy and he licks his lips with ostentation.

„You have the prettiest pussy I've ever seen,“ he admits with a smile and that's the first time the smile is for you.

„Well, I take this as a compliment,“ you giggle and shakes your head.

„Did you ever look at it?!“

„I like my body, if you mean this,“ you answer and reaches with your hands for him. You want to feel him skin to skin again, want to kiss him already. You want to know what his lips taste like.

„Kiss me, Bucky,“ you say in a lovely tone and smile back at him.

Now Bucky realizes that he doesn't kiss you in this whole time. He feels guilty, because he actually loves kissing and all he wants the last weeks is to kiss you. His hands caresses over your legs, stomach, reaching your breast he gives your nipples a little attention and he makes himself comfortable between your legs. He raises your left breast with his hand slightly and wraps his plump lips around your hard nipple. The gentle sucking let you arching your back and you tengle your fingers in his hair.

„Kiss me,“ you order again and he doesn't complain.

The feelings of the kiss let exploding butterflies in your tummy. You realize that you fall head over heels in love with him a long time ago, but you always denied it to yourself. Maybe Natasha is right and he feels the same for you.

Your lips fit perfect together, moving in slow sync against each other; you rest your right hand in his neck and pull him closer. You moaning quietly as he shoves his arms under your shoulders, bows his body down on you.

„I want to be inside of you, doll,“ he whispers in your ear.

Bucky needs you, he needs to feel your skin, to hear you saying his name with your lovely voice. He never want to see you angry again. He wants to be the reason why you're happy.

„Oh please, Bucky, make me yours over and over again,“ you whimper. „I need you, darlin.“

He looks you deep in the eyes, when you wrap your legs around his hips and he pushes himself in one swift motion in your tight pussy.

The moment he is fully set inside you, you circle his hips with your legs and push yourself against him, which makes him growl.

„Damn, Bucky, you feel so good. Please move faster.” You move up and kiss him passionately. He kisses you back with force, his tongue explores your mouth patienceless. Bucky lays all his feelings in this second kiss. He wants to tell you how much he adores you and how much he hates to fight with you. But he can't take it that you're always manage yourself in danger.

„You're so stubborn,“ Bucky curses under his breath. He pins your hands with his flesh arm above your head and you gasp at this action. What is he planning now?

„You have no idea how much I love you, Y/N. I can't... can't loose you,“ he says quietly, but with a clear your voice in your ear. He lets your hands go and embraces your body tightly. Before you could respond anything, he pulls his cock out of and thrusts hard back inside you.

„Fuck Bucky,“ you cry out in pleasure.

He grins at you deviously.

„You cheeky bastard.“ You punch him in the ribs; he just speeds his movements up.

The second round doesn't feel like your quicky in the kitchen earlier. This is more imitate; it's emotional and passionate.

„Bucky,“ you scream his name as your reach your second orgasm that night and he chases his own release.

„Come with me, my love,“ you whisper against his lips and he gives in.

„And I love you, too.“

#bucky imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader smut #sebastian stan x reader smut #sebastian stan x reader

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years

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y’know the wildest thing still to happen to me on this hellsite was my first experience of sexting, sans nudes, that was done in front of at least 250-500 followers because of those horny anons i had in early 2013 when i was 17. instead of being exposed to it on my phone privately with a partner at that age, it was done publicly for the internet to see lmao. i remember begging the anons to stop and “come off anon” because i was “losing followers” at the time too bc i was so insecure about my follower count lmao. and then yeah when they came off anon they were both 28 years old.

to write the responses, i just consulted cosmo mag sex pages for ideas hoping that the anons would like the options i chose. in one i detailed doing anal- a sex act i hadn’t even done yet irl- let alone every other thing i suggested in them (head, idek long, drawn out foreplay, some stupid fancy sex moves that cosmo was all like “use these moves to spice up your sex life 🔥🔥”, sex in a bath, i’m pretty sure i had some lines about tying or handcuffing them to a bed (????) etc etc etc)….

when again, i had never even done any of those above sex acts in real life. i was a naive teen who was incredibly shy in regards towards her love life because she’d “never been kissed” and had never had the “hot emo boyfriend whose in a band and is covered in tattoos” she’d always wanted, let alone even a boyfriend that she had actually fucking liked (ie clear braces boy, for like a month in year 9/2010 vs the popular boys that made fun of her, that she always had unrequited crushes on)…. hell, my blog title when i first started on here in 2011 was “the perfect epitome of being forever alone” because of these very reasons. but here she was, writing explicit sex acts to strangers like she knew what the fuck she was doing, to an audience of 250-500 people- and then to fucking grown ass men in inboxes. i was just parroting the shit i’d read in cosmo (both sex advice and sometimes excerpts of erotica/“sexy, steamy reads” they had some months) and also heard repeatedly in the porn that my high school stalker/creeper at public school loved to show (harass) me with to flirt with me, whenever we were alone together at school in 2012/2013.

like you could tell how naive i was….. because i used ridiculous lines like “like a gentleman entranced, you lead me to the bath for our next foray” and dumbass prose-y things like that. because what the fuck does that even mean 😂😅????

and this is why i think minors should be careful with their online experiences. like yeah, you could say that i wasn’t a minor anymore- more of a “young adult”- who should of made the smart decision to not engage with these anons. but i was a kid. i thought it was fun. and when the dudes came off anon, i thought to myself “it’s not like i’m ever gonna meet them if i ever go to the US or puerto rico at any point. it’s not like that they’ll ever recognise me in person or ever reach out to me again in the future. i might as well do it.” and i did eventually end up ignoring the guys in my inbox, due to my mental health kinda plummeting from the middle til the end of 2013 because of my end of high school exams and stuff… and also the puerto rican guy’s infamously inappropriate “hot PE teacher fucks HOT female high school student in the girls change room showers” fantasy which fucking disgusted me, when he full well knew that i was STILL IN high school.

and obviously again, there’s the point about using the “block” button function. but as i’ve stated several times over my years on here, back in my early days of tumblr, i never wanted to block or unfollow people (even if they were trash like these two men), because it seemed so “mean” and “final”. obvs now i have no qualms about blocking people, and actively encourage younger people on here to use the block button with reckless abandon towards creepy people or people who can hurt them in some way. but to high school teenage me, the whole “using the block button” thing seemed to go against me being a “nice girl/person” so i never used it, no matter which social media platform i was on.

this is why i’m hella scared for young teen girls on tik tok wanting to have onlyfans accounts: because it’s where they’ll be exposed to ACTUAL CREEPS AND PREDATORS incredibly quickly; all because they can make money off selling images of just their feet or eventually their body….. depending on what these creepy strangers demand from them….. and they’ll feel like they’ll have to do it…. but to do it before you even start experimenting properly with relationships and sex is even worse. like. yeah. i’ve admitted before that i originally started this tumblr to possibly post nudes, to see if i’d get the positive feedback that i so desperately wanted/craved from the boys in my year at catholic school- eg. to be called “sexy”, “hot”, “fuckable” possibly “beautiful”- like some of the so called “popular girls” got on their hella basic bikini photos back then (like i remember one girl i knew ended up with like 500 likes and a fair amount of comments on one of her bikini pics and i was INCREDIBLY BITTER because not even a pic of me with a nice outfit on, my hair done and makeup on could EVER get those numbers, let alone even break over the double digits).

but i decided posting nudes or other explicit images on here was an absolute no go, because i realised that i never wanted people that i knew digging up barely clothed/naked pics of me and sending them to me all like “hey, is this you?” and then possibly mocking me, all because i would’ve been dumb enough to put my face in them probably at the time. now when i take nudes and send them, i never show my face. because i know now, that even in relationships, your partner can use nude pics as leverage for arguments or to abuse you in such a way that they’ll upload your pics without your knowledge to god knows where on the internet probably as a way to get back at you in a horrible breakup.

this is what i sincerely hope some young girls who ever contemplate starting onlyfans accounts take some time SERIOUSLY CONSIDER. please know that if you share shit on onlyfans, it can shared and re-shared (i think idek how OF works tbh) to god knows who- and eventually end up in the hands of people you know. i don’t fucking care if it’s a “good way to make money!” or if people think that im trying to stop teen girls from being “girl bosses” and the other dumb as fuck internet memes you want to throw at me. because this shit isn’t “haha internet meme funny” material. it’s some fucking serious stuff. and also, i’m not saying “don’t become a sex worker when you’re older” or whatever either. you’re free to make that choice when you’re in your 20s (no i even mean 17-19 year olds in this post as “young teen girls”- sorry you’re basically kids to me at almost 26). just please consider where the fuck your stuff can be shared to. who it can end up being shared with or to.

this is why i was so fucking adamant with my infamous old follower mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF that i personally would NOT consider becoming a camgirl for him or just generally… because i had no idea where the fuck my images or videos would end up. and do you know the places i’d never want them to fucking be??? in the hands of my high school stalker/creeper. in the hands of those two 28yo men from 2013 (who’d now be in there late 30s or early 40s). i absolutely don’t want them in the hands the mid-to-late 20s and early 30s men that that girl i met at public school in 2012 who was pissed that i didn’t believe that were “adults” because we were finally over the legal age of consent (16) in our state of australia, and so we were apparently fine to “fuck” literal grown ass men because “just fuck them and they’ll be nice to you!!” which i knew was fucking bullshit.

i absolutely don’t fucking want explicit videos/images of me ending up in “why the fuck won’t you let me give you “sex lessons” in the back of my car as a “favour” and as payment for teaching you how to drive you stupid, stuck up & frigid, virgin bitch!?” guy’s hands from 2014 (when i was 18/19 at the time and he was 25… he ended up being the first person of many i’d EVER block on social media lol). or i don't want them in the hands of those weird early 20s dudes (one of which was trying to set me up with his friend) who hit on me at 16/17 (2012) who were angry that i didn’t like and watch porn as much as they did…. and who promptly asked me at the end of their period of harassing of me: “do you know any sluts we could add?” because i kept refusing their suggestions etc.

hell, quite frankly i don’t even want them to go to mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF either, but the very few and far between nudes that i sent on snapchat to him back in 2016 are some nudes that i’d rather forget lmao. hell. i don’t even know if MAF ever deleted my nudes or shared them somewhere else or not, after he fucking wheedled them out of me with “i’ve followed you for 4 years, don’t be a shit! you owe me nudes!” so he’d just shut the fuck up about my social life decisions and leave me the fuck alone.

i don’t want ANY ONE of the guys i mentioned above to get their hands on photos of minors either…. because i definitely know my hs stalker/creeper would… because his fave “make her jealous” tactic that he’s always used on me is that “hey…. i’m dating a *insert teenage girl’s age here*! be fucking jealous that you don’t fucking have me and feel guilty that you won’t fuck me like this girl does!!!” just like he did in 2015, when i ran into him on the home from uni… when i turned 20 the next week and he turned 20 that december. at that time it was a 14yo girl he used as an example of him “dating”/“fucking” to make me jealous. instead, i was completely and utterly fucking disgusted. like any fucking sane and normal human being would/should be at that horrible age gap. that is literally a fucking child that he was fucking grooming. and we were literal adults. back the fuck away.

just please. PLEASE CONSIDER the types of people that trawl these kinds of sites and their intentions. please consider that you are young. very fucking young. you literally DO NOT need to upload nudes to the internet because it’s apparently a “lucrative” business. fuck the jokey “boss babe” rhetoric around it all the way to fucking hell.

because if you’re a minor: i do not want you to have your first experience of sexting or sending explicit images literally in front of god knows how many total strangers for the whole world to see (okay i know only fans is like subscriber/follower based or whatever. but i don’t care)…… even when you (depending how good you are with relationships etc) haven’t reached the common supposed milestones of your “first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” or “first kiss” or have even “lost your virginity” (which isn’t real anyway- don’t buy this fucking bullshit)…. just like i stupidly did with my exposure to sexting here on my tumblr back in 2013. these people don’t/won’t give a flying fuck about your privacy or safety. they don’t/won’t give a fuck about your boundaries either.

please don’t possibly scar yourself for life, just because you’re being told that it’s a quick & convenient way to make some money for weirdos on the depths of the internet. you will regret it in future. just like i do now with mine. it should’ve been something personal between me and and a guy i trusted and liked at the time. not to some random 250-500 random strangers on this hellsite (okay the notes on these posts were literally single digits or non-existent, but still… and also some of my irl friends who had tumblr saw these posts as well) for a show….. and then privately with two 28yo literal grown ass men…. who should’ve been fucking hitting on women their own goddamned age and in their own countries and NOT a 17yo high school KID (at the time) from australia; who, now in her 20s, needs therapy to sort this shit out lmao. mind you they both reeled me in with the “you’re so mature for your age” bullshit line…. which i fell for a little bit, even if it did make me feel kinda gross at the time, too. don’t fall for that bullshit either.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #relationships i guess #internet stuff #this went in a bigger direction that i thought it would lmao #but anyway

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punksarahreese · 3 years

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Accident | 4 mg Ativan

Nosdecember day 9 | @neworleansspecial

Anxious!ava; Ava oversteps by accident and Connor’s reaction causes problems

CW: fighting, panic attacks, cognitive distortions

Repost because I’m a clown who accidentally deleted the original post

***

"Ava," Connor was mad, Ava could hear it in his voice even before she saw his face. She was just trying to make coffee, back turned to the door as she fought with the machine that wouldn’t cooperate. The way the door closed less than gently and the footsteps coming up behind her made her stomach drop a little. She hated that tone, hated the way her name sounded when someone said it with hostility. It made her want to run, but this was real life and she couldn’t do that.

"Connor," Ava tried to keep her tone level, pretending her voice wasn’t trembling a little as she turned to look at him.

He was mad, tablet in hand as he glared daggers at her. Ava hated that look, when his ego was clearly seeping through and one little thing that didn’t go his way made him act like this. He was about to throw a tantrum, she was sure, and usually that would make her more annoyed than anything. However, the way he had her borderline backed up against the counter made her feel more intimidated than she liked.

"Why was my surgery postponed and my patient allowed to break her fast?"

Ava raised an eyebrow, "Latham asked me to cover your pre-ops since you didn’t bother to show up for rounds this morning."

"That doesn’t answer my question, Ava."

"I’m not here for you to demand things of me, Connor," she retorted as she forced herself to stand her ground, "She’s diabetic."

"So?"

"So her white count and blood sugar were low," Ava rolled her eyes, "A bloody med student would be able to tell me why we had to postpone her surgery."

"We didn’t do anything! You ruined my operating schedule."

"She would have gone into hypoglycaemic shock, Connor. She definitely wouldn’t have made it off that operating table and if she did her risk of post-op infection was too high!"

"That’s not the point, Ava!" He spat and the anger in his voice made her jump a little. He was overreacting, she knew that, but this was getting to be too much. She had been overwhelmed all morning, after sleeping through her alarm and having to rush through her routine to get to work on time. This was proving to be yet another change in her schedule that was only stressing Ava out more.

"Then what’s the fucking problem, Connor?"

“You are,” he was clearly referencing more than just her meddling with one surgery, even if she had good reason. He was mad at her, for whatever reason, and was using this as an excuse to lash out at her. Ava just stared at him, both because she was waiting for him to elaborate and because she did not know how to respond. Usually an argument with Connor was no big deal, since they argued on the daily, but since she was already overwhelmed this was way too much already. She wanted to run, to leave and go find Sarah because she would be able to keep her calm, but she couldn’t. Ava never backed down from a fight, especially not when Connor and her job were concerned, and she definitely was not going to let him win now.

“All you ever do is get in the way,” Connor spat, “I have a system and this was an important surgery, now you’ve gone and messed it up. You meddle too much, Ava, and it’s getting ridiculous.”

“Excuse me?” her tone was incredulous because, really, he was making no sense, “Since when do you have a system? You’re the most erratic and trigger-happy surgeon I have had the displeasure of meeting.”

He didn’t validate that with a response, choosing instead to glare at her more, which only made Ava more upset. Him and his goddamn “holier-than-thou” attitude would drive her crazy one day. He was being entirely unfair too, since she had, in this case, done just was what required for the patient’s safety.

“Why are you on my ass about this all of a sudden? Last time I checked you were the one on Latham’s bad side today because you didn’t show for your pre-ops. Besides, I was thinking about the patient here.”

“Were you, Ava?”

The accusatory tone did not sit right with the other surgeon at all, “What are you insinuating now?”

“Were you thinking about the patient?” his question must have been rhetorical because he didn't let her answer, “Or where you just trying to get me back in the doghouse with Latham?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Connor, what the hell? Why would you even accuse me of that?”

He just scoffed, as if her shock was ridiculous to him, “I wouldn’t put anything past you, Ava.”

Ava stared at him in confusion, honestly hurt that he thought that lowly of her. They may have their differences but they have worked together long enough to know when the other was joking or just being difficult. Connor was serious now and it was so frustrating, he knew Ava would not put a patient in danger like that just to mess with his surgery.

“Just stay out of my way, Ava,” he turned to leave and only looked back at her dismissively, “Don’t mess with my surgeries.”

When the door to the CT lounge slammed shut again, Ava found herself shakily letting out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She set her coffee cup on the counter again, realizing her knuckles had turned white from how tightly she was gripping the mug. Her head was reeling, trying to take in everything that had just happened. Connor’s accusations were ringing in her head, making her question where the hell this thought that she would sabotage him like that for no reason even came from.

Before she was even completely aware, Ava found herself sliding down the cabinet and landing less than gently on the floor. The ugly hospital linoleum was cold through the thighs of her scrubs, making her shiver both out of anxiety and the temperature drop. Her mind was racing, all of Connor’s words hitting her way too hard all of a sudden. She could usually brush off his comments with an eye roll and a reminder that he was just being egotistical, but this time they stung.

Maybe it was because she was already overwhelmed, the morning had been too stimulating and too many things were out of place. Whatever the reason, Ava’s anxiety decided to hit full force the second she was alone. She couldn’t breathe, it was all too much and guilt was hurting her like a rolling wave.

Why was she even guilty? There was no reason for her to feel this way, because she had absolutely done the right thing. She even clarified with Latham afterwards and he agreed that he would have done the same. Ava did what was in the patient’s best interest, Connor’s accusation was completely misplaced and ridiculous.

So why was this hurting her so much?

It was his anger, the way he yelled at her and had her cornered like that. Connor wouldn’t hurt her physically, she knew that for certain, but it still scared her. Her anxiety was never rational but when it came to conflict it was inconsolable. She could only hold on to her façade for so long before she broke, which is what this was. She didn’t mean to upset him, didn’t mean to make him angry. It was all an accident; she didn’t mean to.

“S-stupid Connor,” she muttered, “S-stu...stupid God co-complex.”

Her breath was coming out in ragged gasps by this point, short nails digging into her arms to ground herself. Mind racing, she tried so hard to focus on something, anything, but she couldn’t. His words were ringing in her head like a shrill shriek, not letting her ignore them. They began morphing too, into other distortions her brain insisted were real.

All you ever do is get in the way.

You meddle too much, Ava.

You’re the problem.

You.

You’re not worth it.

You’re selfish.

You did this.

Fraud.

Nuisance.

Disappointment.

Her hands clapped over her ears like she could block out the intrusive thoughts from the outside. She was shaking like a leaf, panic overtaking her completely. Stomach rolling, Ava felt like she was going to be sick with how overwhelmed she was. The fluorescent lighting made her feel way too hot and brought tears to her eyes along with the panic. Her head was reeling, too much going on and no Sarah or Ativan or any of her comfort objects to calm her down.

All of her coping mechanisms went out the window in that moment, slumped over knees and breathing rapidly. Her hands were over her ears or on her neck, nails digging in deep because it was the only way she could ground herself. Pain stims aren’t healthy, she knew that, but in that moment all she knew was she felt like she was suffocating. She deserved this, her brain insisted, the pain was the least she deserved in that moment.

All you ever do is get in the way, Ava.

#ava bekker #connor rhodes #4 mg ativan #anxious!ava #my aus #my-writing #userglow #mutuals #neworleansspecial #nosdecember

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baka-no-kacchan · 4 years

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Writing Promtp 001

Writing Prompt: For (Character), there was no such thing as solitude.

A/N: I’m going to do this for Bakugou because I feel like this prompt fits him.

BZZT

BZZZZZ-

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!” Bakugou yelled, grabbing his phone off of his nightstand angrily. It was finally the weekend, and after a particularly grueling week of school -along with having to see Deku’s annoying face for more than five minutes- he just wanted to have some peace and quiet. So why couldn’t he?

Because he was the leader of the Bakusquad. This, of course, means that ever since the Sports Fest he had to be added to every -and I mean EVERY- single group chat they made. It’s like an unspoken rule between them all except Bakugou, who couldn’t care less. They were just extras, so why the hell should he care what they say and gossip about? (He secretly checks to see if they say anything about him, which they're smart enough not to do before he says something to ruin their whole careers.) That was his usual attitude towards the whole thing, but today they were starting to get even more annoying than usual. Opening his phone, he started to aggressively tap against his screen, the sound of his nails rapidly pecking at the device the only other noise in his room aside from his angered huffing.

King of Explodo-Kills: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! DO YOU NOT HAVE LIVES?!?!

Kirisunshine: Eyyy Bakubro! What’s up?

Ah, Kirishima Ejirou. Ever the enthusiastic of the bunch when Bakugou actually presents himself anywhere near them. Because of this, however, it made him the subject of Ashido’s teasing remarks about him having an infatuation for the Porcupine spiky-haired blonde male; Which he ignored because he knew how she got when she felt comfortable around people and that Ashido was only being idiotic to get a rise out of Bakugou. Or was she?

King of Explodo-Kills: THE FUCKING SKY, WEIRD HAIR!!!

Minamama: Lml be more original Bakuhoe, almost everyone says that.

The aforementioned female who loves to get Bakugou upset to an extent, Ashido Mina. She’s usually the ringleader of the squad whenever something stupid or hilarious happens, and almost always is the one who starts the group chats. Since the Sports Festival, there has been a total of fifteen group chats made and she has yet to delete any of them. To avoid doing that, she just adds the rest of the class minus Mineta, or she boots the others and makes it a chat for all the girls. The blackmail material is enough to last them three lifetimes.

King of Explodo-Kills: THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME?! I’LL KICK YOUR ASS!!!!

Tape Measure: Lol Mina, don’t pull his leash. Leave that for Kirishima.

Hanta Sero, the mediator/instigator of the group. He and Mina tend to make hell break loose whenever Bakugou is around, but they always manage to reel it and Bakugou in when things get out of hand.

Pichu: Lolololololol

Denki Kaminari, the Certified Idiotic Memer ™ of the group. Most of his memes are either stolen or recycled from Mina whenever she posts them in other chats. Also the butt of the joke in every chat because he walks into any and every situation. Sad Bois.

King of Explodo-Kills: SHUT YOUR FACE FLEX TAPE

King of Explodo-Kills: YOU TOO ELECTRIC DUNCEFACE!

Kirisunshine: LOLOLOLOLOL HE RHYMED

Pichu: *dejected yee noises*

Bakugou huffed. ‘These idiots need to get a life.’ They always had to find an irritating way to make him occupied when he’d rather be lazy for once, and they obviously had no intention of ever leaving him alone. Though, he would rather die than admit that he actually enjoys their presence in his life somewhat.

Minamama: You know what you need Bakuhoe?

Minamama: A partner.

Minamama: Preferably Kirishima.

King of Explodo-Kills: HAAAAAAAA?! THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT NOW RACCOON EYES?!

Kirisunshine: M-Mina… Please stop, that’s embarrassing.

Pichu: Wait, Kiri and Bakugou are gay?

Tape Measure: No you idiot, Mina’s just being dumb.

Kirisunshine: I’m pretty sure I’m straight.

King of Explodo-Kills: AND I AM PERFECTLY FINE ON MY FUCKING OWN DAMMIT!

Minamama: HE DIDN’T DENY BEING GAY!

King of Explodo-Kills: I WILL BLOW YOUR KIRBY LOOKING ASS TO DUST!!

Pichu: We just gonna collectively ignore that Kirishima is only pretty sure he’s straight-

Tape Measure: Shhhhh, Bakugou is gonna kill Mina.

For Bakugou Katsuki, there was no such thing as solitude.

Hi yes, I was bored and wanted to try sumn

Constructive criticism is welcome but don’t be nasty or I’ll be nastier to you! I’m pretty sure no one wants that! : )

#first post that isn't a reshare #help how do I become tumblr savvy #bnha #bakugou katsuki #mina ashido #kirishima eijirou #sero hanta #denki kaminari #bakusquad #bakusquad causing problems #mainly mina though #kirishima is unsure but they won't provoke an answer #give me friends

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yzssie · 5 years

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FANFIC GONE... GOOD? Pt. 1

Characters: Tom Hiddleston x reader

Chapters: 1/3

Warnings: (College) Teacher x student, smut.

Words: 2.8k

A/N: Ok so I thought of posting this yesterday since we had a birthday boy ❤ But I was out all day so I couldn’t proof-read. I had to split this fanfic in two parts because I wrote over 5k words, Jesus Christ I WAS EXCITED. Therefore, the first chapter has no smut and is just explaining our situation /evil Loki creepy smirk/ Without further ado, action!

*part 3 is out, check Masterlist*

English literature was a course you always loved but surprisingly, things could get even better than you thought.

Your original teacher moved away and the college was obliged to hire someone new since the other teachers were already busy. You weren’t expecting that the nice old lady who made you love literature more than you already did, was going to be replaced with the most handsome male you have ever seen before your eyes.

Mr. Tom Hiddleston. Now, you don’t want to sound desperate but, the truth has to be spoken. The fact that he is an English literature teacher makes him twice as hot as he already is.

The first time you saw him entering the classroom you couldn’t help but stare, and you weren’t the only one. His tall lean figure was graciously walking to his desk. His white shirts, God bless his outfits choices, was perfectly wrapping his burly chest, so you could almost see his delicious abs through the thin material. His long legs were taking slow but long steps, swaying his hips in the most tenacious, yet manly, intimidating style. His pants were molded on his round ass in a way that made your fists clench at the thought of running your fingers along his back muscles, down to his spine and finally grabbing those delectable asscheeks. His eyebrows were furrowed, cheekbones popping out, his strong jawline covered with a trace of a copper beard, and as soon as his shiny blue eyes moved to scan the whole room, his lips broke into a charming smile before as he introduced himself. If his tantalizing face wasn’t enough, his voice was so deep and husky, you swore your lower part trembled in arousal. Studying your professor, instead of studying his actual notes, you observed he has a habit of running his long fingers through his brown curls and of licking his lips when he concentrates on an answer. During the class, he is usually rolling up his sleeves to the elbow, showing up his veiny and muscular arms.

That’s what got you here now, typing silently on your laptop while darting your eyes on the enticing teacher. You have this secret Tumblr blog you’re running, writing smutty content in order to relieve yourself from the sexual frustration you’ve built up all these years while not finding the right time to enter in a relationship. You had a considerable amount of followers who are always excited about every new story you post. You would have never done this at school, but Mr. Hiddleston right here doesn’t help your current state too much and you couldn’t handle yourself. Thoughts flow continuously as he’s teaching his course, your fresh new teacher x student piece of work is extremely appreciated. You are almost in the last row of seats, the row behind you is empty. The perfect place for nobody to pay attention to what you are doing besides your best friend seated next to you, rolling her pen while concentrating on your teacher’s remarks. The third chapter is getting a good start until a little bump in your sides startles you and when you look up at your teacher you find him staring directly at you.

“Miss Y/N, have you been listening to what I was saying?”

Panic envelops your whole mind. Shit, we're talking about Othello, aren’t we? You steal a glance at your best friend’s laptop and read her last phrase. Your answer is more a question than an answer and he narrows his eyes.

“Are you asking me or are you answering me?”

“Answering,” you try to sound more confident but you’re pretty sure he saw your eyes flash to your friend’s notes.

“Indeed we were,” his lips tighten as he glances at the clock. “Please send me your essay on our last analyzed work now and then you’re free,” he tells to the class after throwing another short judging look to your presence.

You admit that you are extremely embarrassed right now, so you quickly close both of your fanfiction and essay and attach the document on your desktop to the email before sending it to Mr. Hiddleston. You get up quickly and mutter a “goodbye” while your friend storms out after you.

“I have told you that you need to get a grip of yourself!” she states while she’s struggling with her bag.

“I know,” you sigh taking a seat on the closest free bench you find. “I love literature and I am usually paying attention, but… look at him!... It’s like… like he’s sculpted by the Gods,” you roll your eyes and your friend chuckles.

“You and every other girl drooling over our literature teacher.”

“I am pretty sure you'd do the same if you didn’t have a boyfriend,” you peer at her as you’re starting your laptop again.

“Your new fanfiction is really good though,” she grins at you and you smirk back.

“That’s why I was a little bit absent. It… gets better if I write it while I have the inspiration in front of me,” you crack your hands before opening your fanfic folder and your breath hitches.

“What?”

“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck, why isn’t it here?” you curse and go back to the desktop to open the document saved there.

“Oh my God,” your whole body freezes as the file named “Document” which was supposed to be the essay was actually the third part of your newest fanfiction. You were in such a hurry that you forgot to rename the fanfiction file and switch to the specific folder for fanfiction. The actual essay file was in your documents folder, where you saved it last night at 4 am. You were too tired to review it and you just lazily saved it as it was, without a name or a specific location. You were actually planning to read it again and make the final touches during class but you were caught up in the fanfic and forgot to do it and then Mr. Hiddleston flustered you and… you’ve just ruined your life.

“Earth to Y/N, what happened?” your friend shakes you and your face contorts in regret.

“I have sent… I… the file… my fanfic….” you were stammering with your words.

“You sent Mr. Hiddleston the fanfic you wrote about him?!” she whispers and you nearly scream at her.

“INSPIRED!” you nearly yelled at her before pausing, “Inspired by him,” your voice lowers and you feel your whole existence crumbling away.

“Shit. Just… send him another email with the right document and tell him that you mistakenly attached a different file.”

Your fingers were shaking on the keyboard while browsing through the Gmail again.

“What if he opens it?”

“I don’t know… write something like “please ignore it?” “

“That’s exactly the wrong thing to say. He might get more curious.”

“Then just send it by saying you got the wrong essay and done.”

“I have to erase that email,” you shudder after you successfully sending the right file.

“Sure, what are you going to do? Break into his office?”

You turn your head at your friend and she frowns.

“No… no no no. Are you crazy? This might get you expelled!”

“The fanfiction itself will get me expelled!”

“Maybe he won’t read it. C’mon, you gave him another file. Why would he bother?”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“I… I guess so. But he’s a teacher.”

“So what, you think teachers have no curiosity?”

“Y/N, breathe, relax. You can’t break in anyways, the cameras will see you. And how are you supposed to open an unlocked door? You may have been watching Supernatural but your bobby pin skills are shit.”

“I can… I can just wait for him to exit his office and quickly get inside and and…”

“Who doesn’t lock their office while they’re out?”

“Even for a bathroom break?” you realize that you sound stupid but right now, you couldn’t allow that man to have that piece of work in his fucking email inbox.

“Let’s say he does. What will happen when you’re seen on camera?”

“Teacher offices don’t have cameras inside.”

“And the hallway one?”

“Do you think they actually pay attention to all of them?”

“I don’t know.”

“In that case… I will enter, delete what I have to delete fast and then get out and wait at the door for him. If someone actually checks the cameras, I can say that I wanted to talk with him and I didn’t find him inside so I left his office and waited.”

“You will enter his fucking office! And stay for like at least two minutes. It only takes a quick glance inside to see that he’s absent!” your friend’s arms raise in the air exasperatedly.

“I’ll just say that I stormed in without thinking and I knocked over something in his office and picked it up to put it back in place and then...”

“You’re stupid,” she finally concludes. “Do not do that,” she stands up and heads for the next class. “Coming?”

I look at her with pleading eyes and she shakes her head. “I’m not getting into this. And neither you are. Now be a good girl and go to your next class without causing trouble.”

You had two different courses from your friend, the optional ones which were split into two groups because of the large number of students who applied for them. Unfortunately, you were in the last group because of your last name’s first letter and your friend was in the first one. You considered it bad luck before, but now you were happy that you would be separated from your friend for 4 hours so you could get away with your idiotic plan.

“Ok,” you mutter and feign to have lost all the interest in whatever mission you planed.

“Good.”

Ok. Breathe. You can do this, somehow.

You lean on the wall, watching from the end of the hallway the door of Mr. Hiddleston's office. Classes already started so it means he has no courses for now. Perfect. It's near lunch break so he might actually get out to grab something while he still has free time. And indeed he does, only that he locks the door. You hide behind the corner as he turns around and heads for somewhere.

Maybe she was right… Who would leave their office door unlocked? Your concentration draws back to Mr. Hiddleston's gracious form entering back into his office, carrying some papers. Damn. This will be harder than you have expected. You really hoped that there's going to be an opening but two hours pass and you're still there. He leaves from the office two more times by the third hour, each time locking the door. When you almost give up, another door cracking sound gets your attention and your teacher leaves his office WITHOUT unlocking the door. Your mouth drops for a few seconds, then run to the room you have been watching. Your heart pounds like crazy when you get in and quickly head for his computer. You click on the Gmail icon and your chest stings. He is not logged in. Why??? A low groan escapes your throat and right at that moment the door flings open, displaying Mr. Hiddleston in full grace. Your eyes widen and hands start to tremble on the desk while he actually doesn’t seem that surprised by your presence.

“You’d better have an extraordinarily believable excuse for this situation Miss Y/N. Or this is going to get a lot worse than it already is.”

Your breath is caught in your throat, chest clenching in panic. You would find this exciting if you were living in your damn fanfiction, but this is real life and the chances of being expelled are now very high.

“I'm… I… Mr. Hiddleston,” your eyes are fixed on his strong gaze, burning holes into your flushed face.

“See Miss Y/N, you're not very subtle at spying someone. And I want to believe you're more than just a cheating student, which I actually doubt it since you have been ranked top of this course for quite some time.”

“I AM SO SORRY. I… I WAS WRITING SOMETHING ELSE DURING TODAY'S CLASS BECAUSE I READ ALL THE NOTES YOU GAVE, NOT JUST THE INTRODUCTION THAT YOU ASSIGNED SO I MADE THE BAD CHOICE TO CONTINUE WORKING ON THAT… SOMETHING ELSE BUT I PANICKED WHEN YOU SAW ME AND INSTEAD OF HOMEWORK I HAVE SENT YOU THE DOCUMENT I WAS WRITING AND IT IS VERY PERSONAL THEREFORE I WANTED TO DELETE IT BEFORE YOU COULD SEE IT!” your voice becomes higher and shaky as you speak.

“And why didn't you just send the correct file afterward?”

“I did but... I was afraid that you might still check the first one.”

Mr. Hiddleston scoffs, “What do you take me for? I have no interest in other than the essay I asked for.”

“I… knew… it.”

“But you still thought it was a good idea to sneak into my office?”

“Just in case you might accidentally…”

“Enough!” his stern voice startles you and you yelp.

“This is a very serious situation. However I do not have time to deal with it now,” his presence moves next to yours and you back up from the desk. He types something, the silence between you two killing you. He motions to move closer and you do so.

“Is this the wrong one?” he points.

You nod, afraid to make another sound which might upset him further. He presses the delete button and you would have enjoyed this accomplishment if it weren’t for the given situation. You want to melt into the ground.

“Now get out!” his tone was calmer this time although you can still sense the annoyance. With your head slightly bowed, you apologize again and storm out the door.

He couldn't just believe his eyes. You actually had the audacity to break into a teacher’s office. Was that wrong document even the real reason? Or was it a lie for some sabotage? His mind was going wild with scenarios, and he couldn't handle himself. Curiosity? At first, he might not have opened both files but after you have just risked getting expelled for some stupid document, he admits that it stirred some curiosity. But now he could cover it up with the fact that he has to make sure this whole situation happened truly because of that personal thing.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and seats on his leather chair, his hand involuntarily retrieving your email from the Bin Folder. He opens it and a single-page story pops out on the computer screen. He scans the writing and can’t figure what exactly that is. It’s a story for sure... with a teacher? At the end of the file, there’s a link and he almost has second thoughts but clicks on it anyways and a Tumblr page opens in his browser. What is he doing? He knows that this kind of site has, different things and here he is: a grown ass adult checking a student personal material. Now, he probably would have stopped if it weren’t for you breaking into his office, so he throws away any guilt and starts reading whatever popped on the site. And then his mouth drops. This is a written fantasy of yours with… a teacher. He shakes his head and closes his eyes for a moment. This is an actually pleasingly written piece of work, though it’s all, adult content. He shifts in his seat, already feeling a little bit turned on by the amazingly details given. However, he’s soon hard enough when he reads the description of the teacher and becomes aware of the similarities between him and the character…He shakes his head, maybe it’s just his imagination, but then, a specific comment catches his attention.

Tumblr user comment: This is so good! Can you tell us which celebrity do you portray as the teacher?

Your comment: Oh! I actually do not have one. I could say I am inspired by someone real /wink/, but can’t reveal more. I don’t want to get kicked out because I daydream of my teacher hahaha

Tumbler user comment: Omg, author has a hot teacher! Keep up with the good work!

You have been writing your sexual fantasies about him, during his own class. He is struck by your boldness and can’t admit this doesn’t thrill him. Of course, he is aware he has a specific presence, students might swoon over him and it was possible that some might even daydream about different scenarios. The fact that you are one of the most down to Earth and most talented students he has ever meet, has some stirring effect to his own self. He would have never imagined this kind of scandalous relationship even if he’s a college teacher for master degree courses and the given situation isn’t exactly illegal or forbidden. He always sees his students as just his students. He groans and closes the page quickly.

This won’t do it. Just erase everything you read from your mind and act as if this never happened, Tom.

Taglist opened(please mention which one do you want):

Loki/ Tom Hiddleston taglist: @drakesfiance , @cutiepotpie177 , @brokenthelovely , @ultrailoveharrystylesblog, @mooncrow123 , @heart-shaped-hell

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston smut #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston fic #loki fanfic #loki odinson #loki #loki laufeyson #loki fic #loki fanfiction #marvel

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stopforamoment · 4 years

Text

Wacky Drabble #19: The Princess Bride

TRR About the Time Madeleine Knows She’s Going to Be Kicked to the Curb Bastien Lykel x Countess Madeleine Word Count: 1,594

I haven’t written or posted in a long time, so I thought I’d catch up on some of Enna’s wacky drabble challenges and resurrect this shit show fic that never went anywhere. I think I originally meant to write it for a Bastien crack fic? It turned into a four-part series. This is my submission written for @emceesynonymroll wacky drabble challenge Wacky Prompt #19 Who hurt you? Prompt is bolded in the story. The quotations are from the movie The Princess Bride, and I think everyone should know at least one quotation from the movie. Even Bastien and Madeleine.

Wacky Drabble #19: Part Two (of Four) The Princess Bride

Madeleine’s mouth opened in shock. She knew there were several ways this could play out, but realistically she knew—or thought she knew—that this wasn’t one of them. Why did he leave? To bring reinforcements? To prove that even he, a mere guard, had more power than she did? Or did he simply abandon her, just like everyone else? Madeleine sat. Stoically. The security cameras already recorded her sobbing. Captured her failed attempts to seduce a guard. Stupid, Madeleine. So stupid. You know better. She sat on the throne, unconsciously reaching for Bastien’s handkerchief. Clutching it. Squeezing it. Forcing herself to breathe. In. And out. You’ll survive Madeleine. You survived Leo’s infidelity. A broken engagement as he escaped to America, making a living with motorcross racing, of all things. Her mouth twisted into an ugly smirk. Really, Madeleine. Who hurt you? No one. That’s who. No one hurts the Countess of Fydelia. Certainly not a playboy prince or his lovestruck little brother. As the reality hit her, she began to shake. Twice. Twice she has been discarded for American whores. They were more preferable than—her. The bitch. Damaged goods. The Rys brothers’ reject. The cruel, catty Cuntess of the Cordonian court. Countess Madeleine of Fydelia. Fydelia. Fidelity. To her country. To her first love. And where did that get her? No, it was life that was cruel. And being a bitch was the only way she could protect herself. Madeleine tried to stand up, but the room spun and she couldn’t move. That’s how Bastien found her when he re-entered the room. . . . . . “Lady Madeleine?” Madeleine’s eyes snapped open. Bastien was standing in the room, holding a carafe and two glasses. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Did you come back to taunt me?” Bastien shook his head. “No. I left so I could delete the camera footage of you in his room and turn off the camera for maintenance. I thought that would be . . .” He paused before continuing. “In everyone’s best interest.” He gestured to Constantine’s throne. “May I?”

When Madeleine didn’t respond, Bastien stepped onto the dais and relaxed into Constantine’s throne. There was an amused look in his eyes as he surveyed the room, and he looked surprisingly at ease. “Would you like a drink? I asked the kitchen to make pineapple punch for you.” He poured the contents of the carafe into the two glasses and handed her one. When she refused to take it, Bastien chuckled. “I promise, it isn’t poisoned.” He took a drink from the glass before attempting to pass it to her again. “Thank you.” Madeleine hesitated before taking a delicate sip. She smiled as she thought of her favorite movie. “Iocane powder,” she whispered to herself. She looked up in shock when she heard Bastien’s deep laugh. “They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up immunity to iocaine powder.” Madeleine pinched her lips, a scowl furrowing her brows. “That isn’t funny.” Bastien shrugged. “You’re the one you mentioned iocane powder.” “Don’t laugh at me.” Bastien’s lips twitched. “As you wish.” He look a long drink from his glass, ignoring Madeline’s silent glare. Finally Bastien reached over to clink his glass with hers. “Suck it up, Buttercup.” “You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces.” Her voice was cold, but Bastien could see the slightest glint of humor in her eyes. Bastien leaned back, enjoying her retort. “Hardly complimentary, your highness . . . Why do you assure venom on me?” Madeleine suddenly looked down. The movie was too close to her reality, and she was unable to conceal the tremor in her voice. “Everyone mocks my pain.” Then she swirled the contents in the glass, unsure of that to do next. She knew Bastien was staring at her, but she didn’t know how to react to that. When she realized that he wouldn’t speak, she looked up again. “Bastien, do you think I’m a fool?” “No.” “A victim?” There was a pause. “I think collateral damage would be a better way to explain it.” “But that assumes all of this was unintended. That Constantine and Leo had no intention of hurting me.” Bastien’s lips twisted into a wry smile. “Touché” he whispered as he sipped his drink before focusing his steely gaze onto her. “It also assumes that you were an innocent bystander. May I be blunt, Lady Madeleine?” Madeleine nodded. “Everyone knows you’re a cold, calculating bitch. You knew what you were getting into. Yes, I used to feel guilty, protecting Leo as he slept his way across Europe while you stayed in Cordonia. I used to think you were the victim of Leo’s selfishness when he abdicated, leaving you and Liam to pick up the pieces. But I don’t anymore.” Madeleine’s nostrils were pinched as she took calm, steadying breaths. “I could have your career for that.” Bastien gave her an indulgent smile. “Madeline. I’ve been serving the royal family for over 20 years. I’ve seen and done more for Constantine and Leo than you could imagine. Stop being a petulant child. You’re wasting your time—and mine.” Madeleine’s eyes narrowed. “Then why are you here? Why are you being nice to me?” Bastien shrugged. “It’s fun to swap Princess Bride movie quotes with you.” Madeleine took another drink. She knew she should leave, but he was actually listening to her. Talking with her. Even if it was just to exchange movie quotations and poorly hidden barbs that were only meant to mock her. “Okay. Then let’s keep going. I never said my fiancé . . .” She paused and took a deep breath before starting again. “I never said that Liam was my dearest love.” Then she shook her head. “But I truly thought he would save me.”

Bastien leaned forward. He wanted to ask what Liam would save Madeleine from, but he followed her lead. “You admit to me you did not love your fiancé?”

Madeleine’s voice was a hoarse whisper. “He knows I do not love him.” Bastien took another drink and when he spoke, his voice was gentle. “Are not capable of love is what you mean.”

Madeleine’s body shook as she fought to control her tears. “I love Leo more deeply than you or anyone in court could ever dream.” Then she downed the rest of her drink and stood up. She needed to get the fuck out of there before she made an even bigger fool of herself. But Bastien grabbed her hand, apologizing and asking her to please, sit back down.

“I’m sorry, Lady Madeleine. You asked me why I was staying here with you. Why I was being nice to you. I should have given you a serious answer. And the answer is that I don’t really know. Maybe it’s guilt. Constantine and Regina knew you’d be collateral damage, but it was a calculated risk they were willing to take.” His eyes darkened and his voice lowered. “Or maybe it’s schadenfreunde. It was your choice to come back for Liam’s social season, and your choice to be an insufferable bitch to Riley and the other suitors. Even though Leo hurt you, you must still take responsibility for your actions and their consequences. Madeleine. It’s also your fault that you are so unhappy and so alone right now.”

Madeleine had regained her composure and she sat, rigid, with perfect posture. She was Countess Madeleine of Fydelia again with that stick rammed up her ass, so Bastien took another sip from his glass. “Why do you like this drink so much? It’s so sweet. Almost sickening.”

Madeleine shrugged her shoulders, but she still faced forward as she addressed Bastien. “It’s pretty, and it tastes good. Like sunshine and happiness.” She immediately felt vulnerable after saying something so stupid, but so honest, so she lashed out. “Besides. If I remember correctly, you enjoyed some sickening rum concoction at Leo’s bachelor party.”

Bastien laughed again, another deep belly laugh, and it surprised Madeleine. Was he laughing at her, or was he laughing at what she said? It wasn’t a joke. She was insulting him. Surely Bastien wasn’t that obtuse.

“Yes, Lady Madeleine. It was called a Magical Oasis. Chaz was a magical rum wizard and he refused to share the recipe with us.” Bastien’s eyes darkened as he discreetly moistened his lips. Chaz did eventually share the recipe with Bastien, and over the years the two kept—in touch.

“So we both enjoy tropical drinks and we’ve both had to wait for Leo during his extracurricular activities.” Madeleine put unnecessary emphasis on the last word as she turned to Bastien. “What else to do both have in common, Bastien?”

Bastien took another drink and arched his brow. “What made you think I was always waiting?”

Madeleine flushed when she realized what Bastien was implying, and she quickly pivoted. “Bastien, is this your first time in the throne room?”

“Is it yours, Lady Madeleine? Or were you going to offer me the royal tour?” Bastien’s eyes wandered across her face, down to her breasts. He watched the rise and fall as her breath quickened before he slowly looked back into her eyes. “I think we’ve both been inconvenienced by Leo and compromised by Constantine. Those are other things we have in common.” Before Madeleine could respond, Bastien rose out of Constantine’s throne and knelt before her. “I also think a woman’s first time on the Queen’s throne should be memorable. Don’t you, Lady Madeleine?”

#wacky drabbles #wacky drabble challenge #wacky drabble 19 #Who hurt you?#trr choices #bastien lykel #crack fic #trr madeleine

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wallbrat · 4 years

Text

Felicia

I Intro I read a lot. I research. I pay attention to the news. I do a lot of fact checking. I have 10 to 15 news sources and the news I pay attention to is domestic and international. I spend hours fact checking because people lie. I also make mistakes. If you can prove to me, logically, that I’m wrong, I’ll admit it, apologize and write a retraction. Keep all of this in mind as you continue. II History I’m a student of history. My favorite periods are Ancient and Medieval, however, I’ll read about any period. I spent a few years digging into WWII because my Grandfathers served then. For the last few months I’ve been focused on WWI and the Spanish Flu. The H1N1 virus got it’s nickname not because of where it originated. Spain was neutral and wasn’t under media censorship like the countries fighting the war. Anything detracting from the war effort was not allowed so the news you saw then was not impartial. Spain, however, reported on a disease that was killing people. While H1N1 impacted us in 1918 and 1919, there were reports of it back in 1915. Yes, our government knew about it and restricted the information because of the war effort. The H1N1 virus hit America in three waves, the second wave being the worst. A deadlier strain of H1N1 surfaced and was spread by the massive troop movements of the war. It’s been said that the dropping of the quarantine restrictions are what caused the second wave and that’s incorrect. While it was a small factor, the troop movements are what spread the new strain. The cramped conditions and the malnutrition among the soldiers hastened the spread. It’s estimated that 500 million people died from H1N1. While that doesn’t sound devastating today, in 1918 that was about one third of the world population. The transmission vectors for H1N1 and Covid-19 are similar and a century of time doesn’t tend to change that. While we lack the troop movements and the conditions of WWII, we more than make up for that with our transportation technology. If that technology had been present in 1918, the death toll would have been much higher. We’ve been extremely lucky so far, yet stupidity is attempting to alter that. III Rampant Stupidity Why do we refuse to learn from the mistakes of the past? We have people protesting, with loaded guns, because they want a hair cut. Instead of throwing these morons in jail, they are allowed to continue in their stupidity. I have a few questions for these paragons of questionable intelligence. Where did you get your medical degrees? What? You don’t have medical degrees? OK. Then your Google Fu must be strong. What? You didn’t use Google? Where are you getting your information then? Ahh, I see. It all becomes clear to me now. This is not about politics and it never has been. These shining examples of American arrogance are simply angry because they’re being told what to do. They think they know more than the experts and they rage against any kind of restriction. Instead of doing what they need to do to protect their families and themselves, they prove their stupidity by endangering everyone around them. If people are still wondering why I view humanity as a failed experiment, this is a perfect example. IV The CDC I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV. They have advanced degrees that qualify them to advise us on disease, contrary to what some might choose to believe. Science is fact. Disbelief of science does not invalidate it. In the middle of a pandemic, these are the people I'm going to listen to. Our politicians have no more training in this than I do and out President is less than worthless. To the idiots protesting: No. Your Google Fu is not strong. You're not a scientist or a doctor of anything. If you won't protect others by doing what you're told then stay away from me an mine. I'm 54 years old with a stressed immune system. I follow what's been laid down because I refuse to put you at risk. I could be asymptomatic, meaning I could have the virus and have no symptoms. Having no symptoms does not entitle me to disregard the advice of the experts. Your Pastor or Priest is no more an expert than you are. Some churches ignored the restrictions and what happened to them? Many got sick and others died that may not have if they had done what they were told. V Trumpus Defectus To be clear, our president is neither insane or damaged. He simply doesn't care about you. As long as you vote for him, you could die immediately after casting that vote. He's a billionaire and you're not therefore you're beneath his notice. You don't care about the feelings of a bug when you step on it and that's all you are to him. He's been trained that way since birth. Most of the other billionaires are just like him, he's simply in the public spotlight. Most of the older politicians are no better than he is. They've been bought and paid for decades ago. The sooner we realize that we're nothing more than voting numbers to them, the sooner we can actually make our votes mean something. VI The Economy Money is nothing but ones and zeros in a computer. The dollar is worth what those computers say it is. The economy should have been shut down completely, No money, no revenue, no bills yet everything continues. We could have stayed home, ordered what we needed until this virus burns itself out. Afterwards we could have restarted things, there would have been no penalties and everyone would have been fine. If we had done that it would have restructured the economy, which is exactly why it wasn't done. Another option would have been to turn all of the billionaires into millionaires. Take everything that the filthy rich have, above $500 million, and use it to pay the American people to stay home. We don't need billionaires or the class distinctions they create. It's obvious why this wasn't done. VII Mental Restructuring Since I can't give our country the mental ass kicking it so desperately needs I have to focus inwards. While I'd like to say that this is by choice, it was forced by recent events. Few things are more painful than discovering, or feeling, that you're insignificant in the scheme of things. During a pandemic, our focus should, understandably, on our families and ourselves. Survival is paramount. Understanding that, with the exception of two people, I've done all of the reaching out to make sure that people are OK. These are the same two people that poke ate me if I've been quiet for too long so I wasn't surprised that they reached out first. I'm not a needy, whiny bastard. I'm fairly self-sufficient, I can order what I need and I'm a fairly good cook. Pumpkin, Onyx and I are fine alone, especially since I'm not a big fan of humanity in general. I love certain people but humanity, as a whole, is a lost cause. I didn't reach out for personal connection. I did it see how my friends were doing mentally. The Covid-19 situation has been tough on everyone, especially those of us with mental illnesses. I'm 54 years old with ADHD, Anxiety, Depression and three hernias requiring surgery, which explains the stressed immune system. If it wasn't for the fact that my meds had been increased a month or two before this happened, this situation would have broken me. Two people checking up on me would not have been enough to stop me from imploding. I would have been reduced to a gibbering mess because of the stress or I'd be dead. I'm fine because I noticed a couple of things about five months ago and I consulted my doctor about it. Most people in this situation aren't as lucky as I am, which is why I reach out. Having only two people that bothered to make sure I was OK was eye opening. I'm forced to reevaluate why certain people are in my life and who remains. VIII Bye, Felicia This has honestly been coming for a long time. There are people that only contact me when they want something, usually money. There are others that don't do anything. It's past time to do some pruning. I don't like giving up on people which is why I've avoided this for so long. There are some that are immune to this. My three adoptive sisters in my local area and the ones I love who are out of state. CA, WA, CO, UT, WI, WY, LA, TN, TX, GA, NJ, NY, NH and MD. Wow. Apparently I love more people than I thought I did. They know who they are. If not then they aren't paying attention. If I contact you or interact with you, in any fashion other than work, then I probably love you. Toxic people are leaving as I can't afford to keep them around. Stupidity is also making an exit. Stupidity is Willful Ignorance so why would I want them around to begin with? I have a perfect example of both. There's a post circulating on Facecrack. This one states that the plight of the jews in the Nazi concentration camps is comparable to the Covid-19 quarantine. An old friend shared that on my timeline. If he had been anyone else, I would have deleted and blocked him without hesitation. The only reason he remains is that I've known him for 38 years. I'm waiting to see what he does next. Student of history, remember? I studied WWII in depth so that means that I know more about the concentration camps than most people. The jews were herded there a variety of ways, primarily by train. They were tortured, experimented on, starved, brutalized, a huge number of them were gassed to death and those are actually the high points. It was much worse than I'll ever be able to properly describe and in no way is it even remotely similar to our quarantine. Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequence. We're all free to say anything that we want to. We just need to be prepared for the repercussions that arise. If anyone else is stupid enough to share something like that on my timeline, or share it any other place that I can see, they are gone. No questions asked. All anyone needs to do to understand the difference between the two situations is to read a US history book that covers WWII. Posting crap like means that you're choosing to ignore basic evidence. I have no room for anyone like that so Bye, Felicia. IX Best vs Worst This situation can bring out the best or worst in people. You can rise to the occasion or you can sink into depravity. There are plenty of example of both around us. I'm working from home. My bills remain paid. My cats and I are fed and safe. I choose to help where I can. While it's true that I have little faith in humanity, that doesn't mean that I have to circle the drain with the rest of them. I will always try to help those around me. I've been extremely fortunate during this and that should be shared with those that are struggling. This is going to get worse before it gets better. I hope I'm wrong yet there are reports of increases in the infection rate where businesses are being reopened. The last thing we need is a second wave but I'm afraid it may happen. X Dystopia I look around and I have to wonder if we're ever going to grow up as a species. We keep making the same mistakes decade after decade. It's a wonder that we haven't blown ourselves off of the planet. The truth is that this is already a Dystopian society. It's not as bad as the examples we see in movies and on TV yet we are moving towards that. Compared to 20 years ago, we have less privileges now than we did then. We gave them away in exchange for the illusion of safety. We have privileges, not rights. Rights don't exist and are simply an invention to make us feel superior. If it can be taken away, it's a privilege. XI Conclusion While that last part was a little darker than I intended, it is true. I write, primarily, to relieve stress and to clear out my head. It gets pretty cramped in there otherwise. While this won't win me any friends, I may actually post this. My life needs some simplifying anyway. Namaste

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