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Accountability Squared

https://wallbrat.livejournal.com/160191.html

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Darkness Perpetual?

Intro I'm fighting a migraine. I should go lay down but my mind won't let me. I've avoided doing this multiple times and now my mind is forcing the issue. Yes, my mind. If you have a mental illness then it's you against your mind and both of you against societal stupidity. Don't believe me? Gather around, young padawans. Genesis I know where my mental illnesses started. I'm ADHD and I fight depression. I was born with both. I have screwed up brain chemistry. We can thank Ritalin for that one. The rest is from the mass of trauma I've lived through, inflicted and self inflicted. I, at least, understand where everything came from. That helps in some respects yet solves nothing. There's always a ledge and I'm always standing on it. The reality is that most of us that suffer from a mental illness will never see old age. Our minds will get the better of us and win the battle. Most of us don't want to be here. I certainly don't yet I'll remain. Darkness Specific The specifics of my trauma don't matter. Writing about it won't help because every person is different. What is traumatic for one is a walk in the park for another. What matters is that I had to make a deal with my mind to remain. I gave it a specifically worded promise as to when it can take me out. Certain conditions have to be met. It guarantees that I'll see my 75th year before it's even possible. That keeps me here but doesn't solve anything. My first week in this apartment was almost my last. The cats saved me then. The promise came after that. I'm basically a prisoner. I'm in pain all the time. I'm not happy. I'm broken while trying to heal. My body feels like it's slowly falling apart. My demons come out at random times and floor me. I'm lost and alone among people because so few understand. I'm always on the ledge, looking down. I long for peace and I'm constantly denied because my brain won't let me rest. I sleep when I'm exhausted and not before. Throughout all of this, I maintain a manufactured facade that hides the truth when I'm in public. Reading helps. Certain people are a balm. Music is a gift from the universe. Savin Me and Lullaby, from Nickelback, have saved me more times than anything else. The battle is constant and never ending. It pushes me to the rim of the ledge often yet the promise keeps me here. Publication So why publicize this when so few will understand? Because a few will. If it helps them or they help others then its worth the effort. I'm not looking to be the poster child for mental health. There are other more worthy of that. Selena Gomez and Taylor Tomlinson, just to name two. I'm just trying to do something positive in this shit storm. Balance is important and there's been very little of it, in my life, lately. Finally, it's not about if you understand or not. It's about support. So many of us lack that. It's truly terrifying to realize how little most people care about mental illness or how many pretend it doesn't exist. It's always been with us and it always will be. I'll end by paraphrasing Taylor. Knowing you have a mental illness is simply information you can use to better take care of yourself. You just have to remember to take your arm floaties.

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“Here’s a story that all Democrats could tell right now: Today’s GOP is engaged in a giant smash-and-grab. A grand looting. A coordinated, decades-long, multi-pronged effort to bring back the good old days of…1850. Everything they do falls under this umbrella. Why not talk about the unholy alliance of religious extremists and bloodsucking billionaires intent on subverting the will of voters? Because of this alliance, religious extremists take a hammer to our civil rights, ban books, work to dismantle public schools, vomit racist, homophobic and antisemitic garbage, and insist on genital inspections and forced birth, while the billionaires smash regulations to drive up inflation, loot institutions and rob their own employees, abuse workers, fund the spread of conspiracy theories, buy up all available housing, avoid taxes and pack the courts with political hacks who rule that all of this is just fine, democracy be damned. Of course, most Americans don’t want any of it, which is why the GOP has won the popular vote only once in the last three decades. So, right-wingers must keep smashing and grabbing everything they possibly can. They broke the Senate. They stuffed the Supreme Court with aggrieved theocrats and the lower courts with incompetents. They disenfranchised hundreds of thousands of voters. They supported a literal coup. Now, they’re hounding school boards to destroy public education, stuffing their creepy faces into the private lives of families, and threatening state officials so they can steal every future election, all while using Nazi and slaver logic to turn anyone with a uterus into a brood mare for the state. Smash and grab. Smash and grab. Maybe the Democrats might want to talk about this?”

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Democrats, here’s a thought: Stop retreating. Stand up for your own voters for once

I could keep quoting this, but I’m going to encourage y’all to read the whole thing, if this has resonated with you.

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The Bene Gesserits had codified the problem:

A large populace held in check by a small but powerful force is quite a common situation in our universe. And we know the major conditions wherein this large populace may turn upon its keepers -

One: When they find a leader. This is the most volatile threat to the powerful; they must retain control of leaders.

Two: When the populace recognises its chains. Keep the populace blind and unquestioning.

Three: When the populace perceives a hope of escape from bondage. They must never even believe that escape is possible.

Frank Herbert / Children of Dune

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This is a Christian Nationalist judicial coup.

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Happy Pride to Lena specifically 😅

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