#I’m so goddamn tired

[charles-le-sorcerer]

Crochet is metal because slipknot

#astra rambles #I’m so goddamn tired #but I started a new crochet project #crochet

[morelikedoccock]

I’m about to dig into some drama because I haven’t felt this incredibly disrespected by someone on the internet for a long time. If you like my content and/or how I deal with things and are curious to know what’s going on, I’m explaining below.

I’m gonna start out with this:

I am not going to answer questions about this.

Do NOT go to this user and send them anon hate.

Sending anon hate accomplishes absolutely nothing and it’s a shitty thing to do. Just don’t.

So, I relatively recently blocked someone here (not going to name drop because that’s fucking rude, as I’ll get into later) and on Twitter for several reasons, but as I’ve said before, no one needs a reason to block here. It’s the internet. I had BARELY even spoken to this person. They responded by block evading to beg for a reason, and also asked their friend to message me about it. I didn’t reply, feeling increasingly like my boundaries were being disregarded and disrespected.

Then I was told that they’d been vaguing about me on Twitter, and as much as I support a little vaguing, it was bordering on obsessive and kinda creeping me out.

THEN TODAY I discovered that they had posted a fic inspired by my au without my permission, but not only that, the first chapter of their fic is a long-winded and wildly invasive author’s note complaining about how I had blocked them. An authors note IN WHICH THEY USED MY NAME. My actual NAME, not my url (which would’ve been just barely been better).

This really upset me. It’s a blatant and open disregard of my boundaries and wishes, and also… posting personal drama to a PUBLIC FANFICTION SITE is so incredibly immature and just not okay. In response to reading their author’s note, I sent them a long and extremely reasonable message detailing why I’d blocked them and that I was very upset. I told them that I wanted them to delete the author’s note. I would prefer if they hadn’t posted the fic in the first place but I can’t tell them to take it down, I just told them to delete the author’s note. They sent me an immature reply and refused.

I was originally tempted to post the full message I sent them and their reply, but I decided that wasn’t the best idea. Instead, I wanna address this one bit of their response:

I’m still snorting over this.

1. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t think I’m a good person. If being a good person means setting aside your own personal boundaries so people can walk all over you for their own pleasure, than I’m perfectly happy being a bad person with clear boundaries.

2. Why the fuck am I your hero?? What have I done to warrant that kind of parasocial worship???? I simply make art, write fic, and complain about stupid fandom drama. I am a regular ass person who happens to enjoy creating and has a decent amount of experience doing so. I do regular people things like work and eat and agonize over existence, and if you have decided to use your imagination to make me into someone that I am not, that is not my problem. Being treated like this makes me not want to share my art or fic. I’m just vibing. Ffs I am just desperately trying to connect with people who respect me/enjoy fandom content. Also, because I NEED to be petty, it’s *heros* (plural) not *hero’s* (singular possessive).

Anyway, after I sent them the message and got their reply, I ended the conversation and blocked them again. But now they have already gotten an anon hate comment on their fic (again, DON’T DO THIS) and they posted about it to their tumblr and Twitter claiming it was me who sent it.

I don’t send anon hate. I’m way too fucking anxious and also too old for that shit. I’ve done my best to take the idea of “the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference” concept to heart. Yes I will absolutely complain about being disrespected, but I do it in my own fucking space (aka here), and I’ll do my damnest to ignore any drawn out bullshit they continue to stir up.

So yeah. I’m honestly really riled up by this. I had been nothing but reasonable toward them, including my decision to block them, (in fact I blocked them in the beginning because they posted the same fic without asking and then gave them a second chance when they asked) and now they are claiming/implying that I’m harassing them.

If you’ve ever had more than a single conversation with me, or if you’ve ever read any of my long posts about this kind of stuff, you’d know that I try hard asf to be decent. I don’t send anon hate. I don’t name drop. But I do block without hesitation if something doesn’t click for me, and if someone doesn’t respect that boundary, I get pissed.

If you’ve gotten this far, I am platonically and respectfully smooching you on the forehead. If you still enjoy my artwork and writing, I would appreciate if y’all stick around. I know I’m not posting as often, but it’s nice to feel like I’ve got respectful people on here who appreciate what I do.

And finally, if you’re reading this and you know them: good, tell them I said to leave me alone. I’m tired of their childish bullshit.

#cerbin speaks #discourse #respect my boundaries ffs #I’m so goddamn tired #and again do not send them anon hate

[tardisheart134]

earning a “living” shouldn’t make you so miserable. I’m exhausted and barely existing.

#capitalism #fuck capitalism #fuck work #i’m so goddamn tired #work #jobs #anyone have a cushy job that brings in 100k that I could #work for just a couple of years so I can catch my breath

[spookyboywhump]

Me after waking up nearly every hour on the hour

#I’m so goddamn tired

[incidentalblr]

for the record, i don’t want to hear that this is a trans genocide. i live in florida. i have so many trans friends. our city’s local drag queen has already been forced to leave and i am terrified for my friends. i’m not fucking leaving this place as long as it takes and i’m not letting them drive us out but god. i just don’t want to hear about it. it takes too much to keep my head above water as is.

#something of a vent #before anyone tries to @ me i am literally trans and also tired #and i knew this was fucking right when the roe v wade shit started up last year #and in my soul i know it’s not going to get easier #but god #i’m so goddamn tired

[redbud-tree]

If I could

Get a job

Find somewhere cheaper to live (or get the funds I need to move out of state like I REALLY need to do to survive)

had someone in this goddamn city who gave a fuck about whether I live or die or am in any state beyond reasonably breathing

then maybe I’d feel less like my cats relying on me to keep THEM alive was the only reason I haven’t flung myself off the nearest bridge.

Portland has a lot of options. The river’s especially good, I hear.

#tw: suicidal ideation #negative #vent post #I’m so goddamn tired #There’s a special kind of hell when all your life you’ve been lied to and used #I just want it to stop #I just want to know what it’s like to be happy #not sure I ever really will

[messyfandom]

Our AC is officially broken. In the Texas August. Currently is 84 inside the house 💀

#Texas #heat #fuck texas #fuck the heat #fuck all this #I’m so goddamn tired

[shipskicksandgiggles]

breaking up with someone to then realize at 1:30 in the morning that they still have your favorite book that they borrowed is truly on another level of fuck me I guess idk

#personal #I’m so goddamn tired #like I don’t give a shirt about the shirt they stole #I want my book back

[area51-escapee]

Spraying my brain with a water bottle like it’s a rabid animal and reminding it to not take everything in the worst faith possible but also when I see Cis women bragging about just using men’s restrooms at taylor swift concerts because there’s less men than women there I can’t help but think about how a Cis man or any trans person ever or anybody who doesn’t look completely stereotypically feminine even looking at a women’s restroom is cause for violence against them

#transphobia tw #I’m so goddamn tired #because I know if it was the other way around there would be article after article about #men invading women’s spaces and men and women using it to justify #their aggression and violence against trans people #and I am including Cis men in this because there are. genuinely valid and non predatory reasons a cis man may end up in the women’s restroom #the solution is to end the weird gender sanctity restrooms dear god take this defense away from them please

[some-sort-of-siren]

So I did this thing called “disregarding medical precautions” and now my entire body is in pain. Also unrelated but a pipe burst in my apartment and the entire place smells like mold and sewage and also someone did a hit and run on my car. So this week has been great so far. Can’t wait for it to be over.

#vent #also I didn’t prep for Latin #speaking tag #I’m so godDAMN tired

[coffee-with-pigeon-milk]

It just hit me that I’ll never be loved by anyone other than my mom.

#i’m so goddamn tired #i love her so much #but I’m so lonely and sad

[lilacyennefer]

This is another post how much I hate working and going to university at the same time

#i’m so goddamn tired #I’ll get back to you guys once I recover #i just needed to get this out

[alexlamia]

I’m so tired of being blamed for things I didn’t do here in this house and for things that aren’t my fault. And I’m so tired of them making me feel or trying to make me feel ashamed for doing self care. There’s four other people in this house that can do housework and help my mom. I’m not the only one. It hasn’t been a week yet, and I’m so goddamn exhausted. I want to pull my hair out or worse. …And I’ve tried to explain this to them, but I just get told that I’m lazy.

#mom’s after surgery care #family #i’m so goddamn tired #fuck my life #I don’t want to be here anymore

[fadingsoulss]

I'm a mess that's the best way to describe it

#fuck #i’m so goddamn tired #I’m so fucking low right now #FUCK #I wanna die

[clownaddict]

Give it up for day 2 of starving at the hospital

#I’m so goddamn tired #and so goddamn hungry #I’m gonna cry #but fuck we won’t be done until 4PM at the earliest #I haven’t even had breakfast this time #who would have thought the hospital was the place where I would beg for death