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leandra-winchester · 1 month

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So. There's been a lot of speculation, and a lot of hot and lukewarm and some honest and valid takes about the new trailer and the potential of what might go down next ep.

I've been thinking thoughts, and I have my own personal stance on the matter. And no, I will not be 'taking criticism', because this is the way I view things in general, and it won't change. So this isn't me opening up a debate about this, this is just me sharing my personal views, which you absolutely can agree or disagree with. (So if your views on cheating are vastly different from mine, don't come at me telling me how wrong I am, I'm not doing that at you either)

That being said, here are my thoughts and beliefs.

Kissing isn't (automatically) cheating. For me, it highly, highly depends on the accompanying circumstances. There are kisses for shits and giggles that are not cheating. There are kisses happening under heavy influence of whatever substance - something that can render you legally not responsible for a lot of things, so how does it make you responsible for a moment's poor choice? There are kisses that are done deliberately with intention and feelings/high physical attraction involved, and THAT is cheating. When we look at the Buck/Lucy kiss, I didn't see it as huge a deal as many of the fandom did. The kiss itself somewhat fell into the second category. But what made it at the very least borderline cheating was the fact that Buck made a secret of it afterwards. Had he said "Look, something happened last night. I was drunk, then Lucy kissed me, and I didn't instantly pull back, but I didn't want to kiss her again or anything. I have no feelings for her whatsoever and I will watch myself in future a whole lot more to notice any signs of flirting, which, in hindsight, there were. I'm sorry." - then I think that's still grounds for a partner to be mad, sad, disappointed, but it's not really full-on cheating. Not in my book, by my definition.

Emotional cheating is much worse than physical cheating Being in love with someone and knowing it, imagining yourself to be with that other person, THAT is much more cheating by my definition than a fleeting kiss. And sometimes, depending on the circumstances, maybe even more than a drunken fumble or one night stand, but that is a very complex question. However, emotional cheating means you're not really in it with your current partner, pining for someone else but settling for what you can have out of convenience, fear of being left behind or some other highly egoistical motivation. That really sucks. (I've seen that take expressed on my dashboard as well, though with slightly different nuance to what I feel and believe, but pretty close)

So, taking these two of my underlying beliefs as the basis, what can I see happen in the next episode that would leave me feel okay with it, or happy about it, and what would make me feel iffy about it?

Let's start with the iffy.

Buck:

If, at any point in their drunken Hangover-movie escapades Buck and Eddie kiss, full on kiss (with maybe a little bit of tongue), and that kicks something lose in Buck, I would utterly hate that. Not that I wouldn't find it plausible that a kiss like that would trigger him realizing romantic feelings for Eddie, but that it happens now.

Someone else made a long post about negative stereotypes about bisexuals, and I agree. This is the promiscuity/bisexuals can't be trusted to be faithful stereotype, and I don't want Buck to ever be seen in that light.

Also, Buck JUST (and that post mentioned that too) convinced Tommy to come with him to the wedding, that he's ready for something... only to emotionally cheat (because it's that aspect for me rather than the kiss itself) on him the very next opportunity?

"But Tommy and Buck aren't in a relationship yet," I heard someone say, and well, yes. But this isn't REAL LIFE. It's writing. Things are crafted in a certain way to form a story, and stories have a purpose. The narrative gave us an arc where Buck seemingly wasn't ready for a relationship with a man yet, where he fucked up and had to fix that, had to take a leap and take some courage to make it work.

Just purely from a narrative standpoint, it would be so inconsistent to reverse that healthy step forward just one episode later.

From what we know about the episode, it also doesn't look like he's breaking up with Tommy in that episode. A lovely, potentially dramatic moment where Buck kisses Tommy in front of everyone as a means of 'coming out' is highly implied/likely. So that would mean him being aware of some feelings towards Eddie and still going through with that. And yeah. No. I'd really, really fucking hate that.

Eddie:

If they kiss at some point and it kicks something loose in Eddie, and he then goes back to Marisol... I'd have much less of a problem with that because it could still be explained and justified with him just being in utter panic about coming out. It would match the catholic guilt arc, and all his previous attempts at conforming to heteronormativity... BUT, if the relationship just continued as is and he'd actively use her as beard that would be shitty, even for poor confused, repressed, closeted Eddie.

The Not Iffy

On with Eddie:

If that kiss brings something to the surface in Eddie and he then breaks up with Marisol one episode later I would not consider that cheating or poor morals or anything of the sort. He wasn't aware of it until that moment, and as soon as he is aware of it and has had a little bit of time to process it, he draws the right consequences from it and breaks off a relationship he's not fully in.

So this would actually be fine to me. This could be the kick starter for a potentially long and complex arc for Eddie to a) come to terms with his sexuality and b) pine for Buck from a distance, because Buck is with Tommy and c) eventually, when the time is right, for Buddie to go canon.

Buck:

The kiss itself wasn't a serious or real kiss. I'd be okay with it, if it was some silly, exaggerated "MWAH" smack of the lips kiss, prompted by someone or something around them - I dunno, maybe one of the women there saying "Aww you're such a cute couple" and they going in for it just for shits and giggles; or Buck gushing about Tommy and what a great kisser he is and Eddie drunkenly, outwardly jokingly saying "Hey, I'm a great kisser too!" and them jokingly leaning in for a smooch, again, for shits and giggles.

Buck afterwards doesn't even remember it because it meant nothing in that moment, and so he's neither seriously physically nor emotionally cheating on Tommy in the slightest.

"But Buck has deep feelings for Eddie. How can he kiss him and not realize them?"

Well, see, Buck has been around Eddie for almost 6 years now and not realized them. They are so, so far past that getting to know and falling in love phase that it makes it a bazillion times more complicated to distinguish those deep platonic feelings from deep romantic feelings (because, what it comes down to in both instances is a deep bond; the bond of love you feel after years of dating isn't that different from a deep platonic bond. Again, Eros vs. Pragma and all that).

But Buck is *in love* with Tommy, he's just entered that exciting, chemically turbulent process of falling in love with someone which, with all the newly formed neural connections and all those hormones overrides anything else that has long since been present and is only now presented with the opportunity to take on a new nuance. Of course he doesn't get it, and he likely won't get it until much, much later, when he's falling out of love with Tommy again for whatever reason, or they break up amicably for whatever reason.

And THIS again is something that could easily go into the iffy, because I would really fucking HATE the implication that Buck needs to break up with Tommy to be with his One True Love. I don't want this to be a difficult and painful choice.

IF (when) Buddie goes canon, I want them both to be ready and free for it and not accidentally pushed towards it, or struggle with a guilty conscience for it, or hurt someone else about it. (Marisol wouldn't count in that context as Eddie would have broken up with her months ago and gone on his own long self-discovery trip).

So yes, even if for slightly different reasons, and even if my views on what constitutes 'cheating' may differ from a lot of yours, I agree that any actual MUTUAL feelings realization right now, under these external circumstances, would totally tarnish the beginning of the Buddie relationship.

Which also makes me hopeful it won't happen in such a way. Up until now, the writing has been extremely solid, and Buck's coming out arc has been done with so much care. I doubt they'd do something that ruins it. (But I'm not 100% sure of it either).

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #this is not an invitation for debate #respectfual nuanced exchange and dialog #yes #but don't lecture me on my morals #I'm very solid and confident in them

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somuchcoffeeandwine · 7 months

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All right, fellow MCU fans

So, after seeing the Marvels today, it got me thinking. Now, you probably don't know who I am. But I do happen to be a writer. Not a very good one mind you (several people would say otherwise, but shush, give me my self-loathing) Phase 4 (and the current parts of 5) is not that great. So I want to rewrite the Multiverse Saga. Yes. The entire thing. Even though it's not finished.

Very long blocks of text below. It's really the only thing that keeps me organized. Please read it though if you are interested. It'll be split up into sections, for somewhat easy perusal.

Now, I know this is an ambitious project, and one not done. I am no stranger to things like this, see my own game/show I'm making. (This is the only time I'm going to mention it. But I am pretty proud of it) So, for my very small amount of sanity, I'm stopping it at The Marvels, and Loki season 2 (Oops, still not finished with it yet). And I wanted to ask people what they thought was lackluster, or mediocre. Not the Marvel I and many other people grew up on. I do understand that it was flawed before, but when I recently rewatched most of them, I found that my childhood love for them had blossomed into something new. I was 6 when the first Avengers came out. I learned how to shoot a bow because of Hawkeye in that movie. And I think it deserves better, especially after watching the Marvels.

Now, this means everything after Endgame. So from Black Widow to The Marvels in terms of the movies, and the Disney+ series from Wandavision to Loki Season 2. I have a feeling it's going to take me a second to get through the remaining 5 episodes of Loki S2. My family wants to watch it with me, and they're all decently busy... Anyways, that's 10 movies, and 9 series. Although I don't accept Secret Invasion. Like at all. Anyways.

I have yet to decide what I'm going to publish this on. Probably A03, just because that's easiest for me. And I can organize much easier. Do let me know what you think.

So, before I get into the problems I've identified, feel free to stop here, and reblog or ask me your problems with the aforementioned shows and movies. I'm talking writing or character problems, as we've seen in the series. I am a fan of the comics, but you can divert from that, or stick to them.

Oh, and if you say something like "Make it more queer", I am a raging bisexual enby. I will already be making it queer as fuck, and can be convinced to ship pretty much anyone, if I can get a good reasoning behind it. Minors should be shipped with only minors. That's one of my few rules, if you send anything to me. So yeah, I'm doing genderfluid Loki.

Thoughts on everything:

This is just here so that I don't get a ton of repeats. I'll go movies first, then the TV shows.

Black Widow (2021) - Honestly, this is too late of a movie. Natasha deserved this before Endgame or Infinity War came out. But release dates aside, Taskmaster needs more screentime, and a chance to show how menacing they are. Natasha also needs more time with her family, and the parents need to be fleshed out a bit more. Belova is far too smart to be tricked by the lady in the post-credit scene.

Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings (2021) - I don't have any major problems with this movie. The Great Protector, or the dragon, and the supernatural creature, I think he's called Dweller In Darkness, kinda felt a little blank, and the Dweller shouldn't have died, only been pushed back. And I don't like Katy that much. Trevor is much better comedic relief in my opinion.

Eternals (2021) - Oh boy, where do we start with this one? You know it's bad if I can't remember any of the main characters names besides Ikarus. And that's because I was laughing my ass off at him throwing himself into the sun. There was also the Celestial I think it was? Anyways that thing broke islands up, and then just became a massive statue, and like no one mentions it? I don't remember much else about this movie, even after having watched it like 3 times. Oh, and the Ebony Blade was shown off. I like that if they can do something fun with that.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) - Dr. Strange feels a little shoe-horned in. The whole sanctum being overtaken by snow was pretty clever, but Strange being a father figure to Peter is not super well established. Could be fixed with a couple of rewrites. Or Strange and Stark being together. Peter is a dumbass, and the reason for him starting the whole plot... is so dumb. I understand, teenagers can be stupid, hell, I go to public high school, but Peter's shown he's a lot smarter than this. But I do like the crossover (Dafoe as Green Goblin my beloved) and the fact that the other Spidermen get to say goodbye in one last movie. Anyways, Ned's wizard connections need to be elaborated on as well.

Doctor Strange: Multiverse Of Madness (2022) - Alright, getting my biggest problem out of the way first. Wanda's corruption arc should have been shown. It should have been developed through the movie, and Wanda should have been with Strange and America. She can still be evil, and die after she realizes her actions, but this basically destroys the point of Wandavision. She was willing to say goodbye. Wanda has been a favorite of mine for years, and I read her comics religiously as a child. We need to see the power of the Scarlet Witch. What it did without Wanda. Her "No More Mutants" line sent chills down my spine the first time I read it. Sam Raimi directed this movie. Strange and Wanda should have had more horrific shit. And that one Strange with 3 eyes should have been the one from What If. We need horror in this. America also needs to be more fleshed out. I do love her, but we get like one scene of her being traumatized of basically growing up nowhere. Her moms get to stay though. I'm just going to ignore the last post-credit scene, because... that's setting something up I'm not sure of.

Thor: Love & Thunder (2022) - First up, Gorr has a great setup. He needed more screentime though. We need to see more of his god killing. They should rightfully be shitting their pants over this man. Thor leaving to save Sif was a good move, but that joke ruined the tension. She should have died there, proof of the god killer. Jane Foster is perfectly fine, and her arc is a lovely send-off. I would have loved some more stuff about the kids, especially Heimdall's. I don't even remember his name. He should have been shown doing something in Jane's return to Asgard, something that showed off his parentage. The meeting of the gods is a great scene, but there should have been people who spoke up, and then promptly getting thrown out, or even getting killed. Even more of a reason for Thor and crew to convince him. I think everything else is pretty good. Also Valkyrie is perfect in this movie. Bi queen. And her Loki knives are lovely.

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) - I actually think this one just needs a couple of little tweaks. I understand why they couldn't have T'Challa show up in the spirit world, and Killmonger was great, but I still think something between the siblings would be good. Fuck, I love the funeral scene. It was a lovely sendoff to both T'Challa, and Chadwick. Namor seems a little rash though. Might just be the comics leaking through on that matter but I do like the Mayan inspirations in the movie!

Antman: Quantumania (2023) - I'm not really sure on this movie. I don't like Janet in this movie. She feels too secretive. She could have told them plenty, even lied that Kang had gone home. He'd gotten out somehow. Kang didn't seem scared enough of the others, but that might just be me thinking of that. Oh, and MODOK sucked. He shouldn't be a joke. But Darren could have done something else, because he is in there.

Guardians of The Galaxy V.3 (2023) - Perfection in every way. I'm not changing anything unless it involves getting everything I'm incorporating in. And the Christmas Special is also great.

The Marvels (2023) - Spoilers! Kamala needed more screentime, she just generally felt disconnected from the plot besides her bangle. And I also wanted a more menacing villain. That's been the problem with them recently. They don't make me think that they could actually beat them. I like everything else though. Flerkins were great as usual. I love these stupid creatures so much. That one scene was beautiful.

Now to the shows! These are going to be so much shorter.

Wandavision (2021) - I think this is good. No notes.

Loki S1 (2021) - Good, besides the Sylvie/Loki romance. They are siblings. I'm not sure if there's anything else that I really had a problem with. It's been a moment. Which is a shame. I love Loki (Also bi confirmation! I love it!)

The Falcon & Winter Soldier (2021) - I also think this is good, besides maybe having some problems with the villain. Bromance all the way.

What If...? (2021) - Also pretty good. Little self-contained story. I like the zombies.

Hawkeye (2021) - I also think this one's pretty well written. Macaroni is constantly referenced in my house. Lucky is also a pretty boy.

Moonknight (2022) - Honestly, god tier. Anyways, no one mentioned the stars literally turning in Egypt. But maybe it was just the people thinking that they were drunk as shit and seeing something.

Ms. Marvel (2022) - Second favorite being Moonknight. I also don't remember anything glaringly wrong.

She-Hulk: Attorney At Law (2022) - Besides the tone of the show being inconsistent as shit, I think this show should have dove into some of the topics it brought up more. It just seemed a little surface level. Maybe a WWDITS style mockumentary would work better.

Secret Invasion (2023) - THIS ENTIRE SHOW SUCKS ASS. THIS WHOLE THING WAS DONE SO BADLY. I am not taking anything from this show

Loki S2 (2023) - Too distracted by another season 2 coming out, so I have yet to finish. I have heard it's good though. I've seen the first episode, and it's going pretty good so far.

Well, you made it to the bottom! Yay!

...This took me an hour to write. I did get the doc set up. And got a bit of an outline set up.

#marvel #loki #wandavision #secret invasion #she hulk #hawkeye #ms marvel #moon knight #falcon and the winter soldier #the marvels #marvel mcu #mcu #writing #writeblr #long post

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crispinablr · 1 year

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Rough day

I put the blanket in the bag along with the rest of the personal things since I was going to need them for the movie night with Kent, I close the bag and rush out the door, not wanting to keep him waiting. I really wanted to be with him since weekends were the only days we could spend the day together without interruptions, because we had classes, jobs, meetings with friends we hadn't seen for a long time and he also had to attend their secret club and hanging out with them so we would make the most of the weekends and catch up on everything we had done all week. After reviewing so much in my head everything I had planned for today I have ended up arriving at my destination, Kent's room, I knock on the door a couple of times and wait anxiously in the corridor. A while passes and I hear the sound of feet shuffling towards the door inside and I hear a voice that I knew perfectly well, although somewhat changed.

-"I think we should cancel tonight's movie and tomorrow's meeting too, you should go I don't want you to see me like this, I'm sorry…"-I hear his voice trying not to break and I feel my heart shrink.

-"I'm not going anywhere until I know what happened to you, please Kent let me see you, even for a minute. "-If I had to enter by force, I was going to do it and if I found out that someone has hurt him, I plan to torture them in the worst possible way along with the help of Wednesday and Thing.

I see how the door opens a little, Kent's head was lowered, on his face you could see the trail of tears, the area around his eyes was swollen from crying, his wavy hair was messy, he was wearing his uniform shirt partly unbuttoned and wrinkled probably because he must have been crying in bed and was wearing his favourite sport shorts and his socks.

-"Why have you been crying? Has someone hurt you?" - I approach him worried throwing the bag to the ground while I examine him to see if he had scratches.

Kent still doesn't look at me and just remains silent trying not to say anything surely he knew that if he said something he was going to break down crying again.

It seems that you could use a hug - I approach him slowly so as not to scare him and I look into his eyes, seeing him like this makes my heart break and I want to cry with him.

He nods as he closes his eyes trying not to let the tears that were forming in his eyes escape, I hug him immediately without giving him the option to retract and he surrounds me with his arms as if it were his only support so as not to fall back into sadness in the one he was engulfed in, he now knew that I would be with him no matter how long it was or the circumstance. "Thank you…" I hear how he cries inconsolably on my shoulder and I caress his back to comfort him.

-"What do you think if we go into your room and tell me what happened? I brought your favorite chocolate milkshake, ice cream, homemade chocolate chip cookies, cotton candy and marshmallows."- I suggest trying to convince him to let me inside.

I listen as he blows his nose slightly in a messy tissue he was carrying around in one of his hands and looks at me for what must be the first time all night and smiles at me as he nods with a small laugh.

-"It sounds great…"- I was still sad, but it was clear that I had made my plan make him feel better, I pick up my bag from the floor and enter his room while closing the door behind me.

I leave my bag near his desk, I see on the floor the rest of the uniform that he wasn't wearing and when I turn to see what Kent was doing, I see him tidying up his bed, surely he had made a cocoon in the sheets without wanting to go out . I take out the two chocolate milkshakes and the cookies and offer them to Kent as I sit next to him on the bed. He accepts it with a small smile and a quite thank you.

"If you have the strength, you want to tell me what happened because I know that someone must have done or said something to you so that “nothing has happened” won't work. Kent you know I care about you you are my best friend and you know I love you." I smile at him as I tap him with my shoulder.

-"It's just silly, you know how sensitive I get… "- he says as he drinks some of the chocolate milkshake and I look at him with a raised eyebrow- "what happened was that a group of classmates told me that I was a brainless idiot, that people were only with me out of pity and because my sister is one of the popular girls, they also told me that no one would want to date me because sirens are manipulative assholes."

-"Hey, look at me "- I touch his face in a delicate way so that he can look me in the eye- "There is nothing wrong with you, who cares what they think? I would never change anything about you, do you know why? "- I tell him sweetly as I look into his eyes and he shakes his head-" because you are perfect just the way you are, if those people can't see how loving, brave, sweet, understanding, funny, thoughtful and incredible you are, then they can go and fuck themselves and they do not deserve a person as special as you are." —I feel my heart going a thousand an hour for everything I had just said.

I watch as he gapes at me, he sets his drink and cookies on the nightstand next to him, fixes his clothes as best as he can, then stands up and holds out his hand with a huge smile.

-"Come on" - he says seeing that I was not looking at him without knowing the reason for the sudden change.I stare at him doubtful of his invitation while I consider whether to accept his invitation or not.

-"Would you grant me the honor of dancing with me?"- He curtsies as if he were a knight from the Middle Ages and I let out a small laugh as he nods happily.

-"It would be an honor for me to dance with someone as gallant as you, Sir Kent,"- I say, following the joke, and he simply gives a little giggle. –" but first of all I'm going to play some music. Any suggestions, dear gentleman?"

-"How about some song to slow dance to? "– He says without taking his eyes off me.

-"I have found a perfect playlist for it" - I press the button to play the playlist, I turn up the volume and place the mobile on top of his desk. I go to where he is positioned and we get into a position to dance, I'm a little nervous because it was my first time dancing with someone and I was afraid of being able to hurt him because of my clumsiness.

-"Trust me"- we started dancing to the rhythm of the music.

While we danced to the sound of the music, I feel how he looks at me as if I were the most precious thing for him, but I know that it's just the love of friends and nothing more, I was happy, although I could never be more than his best friend because the only thing that I care is your happiness. We move closer to dance comfortably and I rest my face on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

-"You know what?" - he asks me out of nowhere

-"What?" - I ask slowly enjoying the atmosphere

I can't imagine this world without you - I felt my heart beating expectantly for what I was going to say next - When I'm with you I feel like I'm alive you make me feel like I'm at home and today I realized after you told me those such beautiful words how much I love you as something more than a friendship. You've always been on my mind, but I thought it was normal because who doesn't want to hang out with their friends and get out of class? But now I know that I was in love with you from the moment I saw you smiling at me, I don't know how I was so foolish as not to realize it before. – He pauses to catch his breath – Surely you don't feel the same way about me, but I need to know the truth, even if it hurts, do you love me the same way that I love you?

I lift my head from his chest and gape at his sudden confession and immediately pounce on him to hug him as I burst out laughing with happiness.

-"You don't know how happy it makes me to hear that, obviously I love you, it's impossible not to love you" - before my answer he hugs me and begins to spin while he raises me above his head, we laugh like a couple of crazy lovers because that was what that we were, a couple of teenagers madly in love. Finally he finishes spinning around on himself and gently places me on the ground and looks at me with the biggest smile I've ever seen in my life.

-"You have no idea how madly in love I am right now, would you mind if…" he paused briefly as he fidgeted, inhaled and stared at me determinedly "would you mind if I kiss you? I know it's sudden after everything you've been through, but I really care about you and I want to know how you feel and if you're comfortable." – he says nervously.

I put one of my index fingers on his lips to shut him up and apparently it worked since he didn't say anything else, a slight blush formed on his cheeks due to embarrassment.

-"You don't know how long I've waited for this moment"- we smiled and got closer.

I close my eyes slowly feeling how my heart was beating crazy with emotion I couldn't think of anything but him, I bring my face closer to his and surround his neck with my arms while I feel how his arms surround my waist. Once close enough, our lips meet, we melt in a soft and shy kiss, it was soft, I didn't want this feeling to end. I felt a soft warmth running through my whole body along with the feeling of happiness, but since everything that begins has to end, so we separated to get some air. We locked eyes as we recovered from the kiss, all I could see were his beautiful eyes as clear as a crystal clear sea. - "That was…" he says almost in a whisper.

-"Magical… yes, yes it was" - I say while resting my forehead against his.

-"I'm not ready to let you go"- he lightly bites his lower lip thoughtfully, he had doubts whether to tell me his proposal- "Do you want us to snuggle up in my bed and watch the movie we had programmed? My partner won't be back in the room until Monday so we have the room to ourselves for the whole weekend what do you think?"

I couldn't believe that Kent was suggesting I stay with him all weekend with him alone so I accepted without preamble and from that moment we became a couple. The funniest thing is that his sister and the rest of his friends, once they found out the news, were relieved that we were finally a couple. Apparently, they were anxiously waiting for us to confess our feelings and get out once and for all, even Wednesday was almost exasperated from waiting so long. After so many years, the story of how Kent and I started dating is one of my favorites when it comes to telling about our relationship since it was one of the most romantic moment I ever had and that I cherish the most in my heart.

#kent x reader #kent wednesday #kent the siren #kent fisher #kentthesiren #wednesday kent #kent fisher x reader #kent fisher fanfic #fanfic

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luna-rainbow · 1 year

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a blast from the past?

As much as there are flaws to blogging, I'm so glad it exists because I don't have the patience for handwritten diaries. Electronic blogging lets me revisit my posts years down the track like a time capsule.

So back before the first Avengers movies came out, the characters I found the most interesting were Tony and Loki. I enjoyed the Avengers, because these two guys were the focus of the show. It's interesting that I said this in my review:

If anything, I thought the most slighted hero of the lot was Captain America. Played with blue-eyed sincerity (daheck?) by Chris Evans, he's just so unbending that in a pool of quirky characters he gets overlooked. But it's nice to see him take command in the end, the way he should.

So if I, a non-Steve fan whose impression of Steve at the time was bland, complained about Steve being even more overlooked and bland in the movie...I can only imagine what it felt like to be a Steve fan going in.

(Snip for length - comments about Cap movies under cut)

I didn't even write a review for the first Cap movie, presumably because I watched it pirated and couldn't see enough in the blurry pixelation to leave an impression XDDD I'm not even sure I watched it before the Avengers, although I did watch it before Cap 2 because I said this for the CATWS review:

Personally I thought Captain America was a weaker outing for Marvel. Something about him just didn't quite connect with me, and while the underlying message echos with anyone who had ever been bullied, the rushed and perfunctory 3rd act left behind a generally sour taste. Added to that, while all of the characters were cheerfully likeable, none of them were all that memorable.

(Huh so I guess I didn't like Peggy as much as I thought I once did.)

I did love Captain America 2 though, although according to my own review I said "I actually garbled a lot about this after watching it yesterday, so I'm in a bit of a word-drought regarding it."

My only disappointment is that I feel I still don't have a grip on Steve's character. He's selfless, yes, but he also has very personal attachments. It won't be the first or second time he's run after Bucky into danger. But at the same time he's also the person who can detachedly tell his comrades that he was going to 1) crash his ship, 2) shut off the space portal with Iron Man still stuck outside or 3) bomb the ship he's still on. I feel there's some sort of conflict in this, that in crisis he can make these noble, difficult and somewhat emotionless decisions - and yet he seems very much driven by compassion and emotion.

I'm sure my 2014 me will be delighted to know that I've figured it out by 2021 that 1) Steve loves Bucky and 2) Whedon doesn't get Steve and 3) Steve still loves Bucky XDDDD

I ended with this, which I will include because it's hilarious how the wheel turns:

I think the Winter Soldier could have been more, yet at the same time I don't think they could have fit any more without slowing the pace down too much. I hope this is addressed in the next movie because it would make up for what's lacking in this movie - the dynamic between Cap and Winter Soldier, the tragedy and disbelief and the see-sawing between trust and mistrust that made the Thor-Loki dynamic so magnetic. The Winter Soldier was a terrifying menace, and Sebastian Stan did bring a hint of vulnerability in the rare moments that his character was exposed, but there was not much more. That said, the Steve-Bucky bromance is probably the least convincing of all I've seen. Oddly, the Steve/Sam dynamic is the most natural brothers-in-arms of the lot.

The irony of fate aside, to a degree I still agree with it. For a relationship that defined a large chunk of Steve's character, and almost the entirety of Bucky's existence, their onscreen interactions were very, very limited in CATWS (and now with the view of hindsight, in the entirety of the series). Sebastian Stan was given such a short length of time (compared to Loki) to work through the shock and betrayal and grief and horror of Bucky waking up to the reality what he had been turned into. While Bucky was effective as a narrative foil for Steve, the actual buildup of their relationship was patchy at best, and a lot of what we do have now is by filling in the large blanks in between brief moments of tenderness we do see.

I do wonder about the comment about "bromance" though. In reflection, I wonder if the Steve-Bucky bromance was least convincing because it was so...exceedingly devoted and magical (breaking spells of brainwashing and all that). As someone who gets squicked by watching sappy romcoms, the end of the line scene(s) tripped all sorts of wires and I think I was reacting to that. It felt more than a bromance, and that was why it was less convincing. Sam/Steve felt like good bros, Steve/Bucky...something else entirely.

And wow yeah did I have hopes for a better Cap 3 movie, even though I wasn't a Cap fan.

#movie reviews #catws #also i notice i complained about marvel's writing a lot even in those early days #legit catws was the only time i was so happy i gushed about it #i whinged about im3 and thor2 #avengers i gave some leeway cos it's an ensemble movie #now i feel like i put up with 10 years of terrible movies for like maybe 3-4 gems #inconsistent characterisations and poor care for the material #i honestly blame im/thor for setting the bar and catws/bp for being the rare hope that strings you along

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cld-n · 2 years

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i totally agree with you. it seemed contrived and conceited. this isn’t going to be too related to her vanity fair profile in particular but a general observation. i felt like everyone was trying to convince me she’s a game changer. an excellent director that deserves endless praise but nobody could provide me a good reason why. her status as a female director alone is not compelling enough for me because her work so far has brought nothing new to the table. not that I expect some sort of genius from her but she doesn’t have anything that sets her apart from the rest even small hints here and there that would signal some originality. I know it’s only her second project and it’s not even out yet but you can understand the artistic characteristics of a lot of directors from their directorial debuts. in olivia’s case it was booksmart and i wasn’t personally impressed. it felt like every other comedy/coming of age movie rebranded for a 2019 audience and her radical change of genre from that to whatever dwd is seemed bold at first but looking at the results, very haphazard. it’s like she’s jumping on whatever that’s trendy at the time hoping it would work therefore her whole career and this reasoning behind why olivia wilde is so wonderful and revolutionary seems like it stems from a sense of entitlement and complacency. on a personal level her activism and feminism feels the same. she has proven time and time again that her branch of feminism is white feminism. with dwd she had the opportunity to tell a very rich and complex story that tackles with power dynamics and gender roles but she did this in the most shallow and uninspiring way possible. (yes I’ve read the whole spoilers on the internet and I honestly don’t regret it.) overall i feel like she’s constantly punching above her weight by claiming to be something she isn’t and/or will not be putting the work for. she would do great if she’d let go of all the self proclaimed titles and just did her job since that’s ultimately why she’s being pushed so hard right now. male directors do this or that so why can’t she. male directors are not doing extraordinary work and yet get praises and financial support so why can’t she. and finally the whole “i’m so tough” speech she gave in that interview felt so forced as if she’s trying to convince herself more than anyone else and i understand it because she never dealt with this amount of fame and attention before and she’s not particularly seen in a good light. what’s irritating is that she’s pulling this attitude against valid criticism on her own actions so it doesn’t come off as badass as it does to her. it just feels like she’s deflecting against criticism by being unreasonably obstinate. one positive thing i can say about her is that she makes bold choices. i’m sorry this was so long and maybe unintelligible at parts. english is not my first language.

ok first off, your english is really great 😊 and i'm so sorry i only just got to this

I didn’t really get to finish her profile cos it read across as like… like if you’re not in tune in film community circles or it’s not really like an interest beyond just watching films and going to the movies, then yeah you’d maybe find what she says to be somewhat credible I guess (?) but a lot of it was just bull, like plain bs with a few red flags raised (might go into that later)

But yeah I agree, I get that vibe too. And her rep as a director isn’t compelling for me either. Like having the connections to get profiles and interviews aside, the way they write about Booksmart as if it did for film what Frank Ocean’s Channel Orange did for music was just like a real far cry, and it’s kinda sad that rhetorically her pieces come across like her being a woman inherently gives her game changing status as a director when really she’s done nothing to contribute to shaping the kinds of stories and films we get to see today yk?

Your Directorial debuts comment exactly, like I think of Julia Ducourneau’s Raw and how much controversy it caused and the backlash she got, but it did establish her voice as a filmmaker as it showed us her style and the kind of stories she wanted to tell, that Raw eventually did pave space for certain types of stories to be told and shared. Booksmart doesn’t have that impact, cos idk it seemed to, just like with dwd, serve a more entrepreneurial purpose more than anything but that’s just me. Even the language she uses around her process and approach is quite hollow? When she chooses to focus on the like look of a film rather than the main point or the key themes to the stories she’s supposed to tell Idk I just feel like her reputation as a director is to offer a white woman version of what male filmmakers are known for? Like Booksmart was supposedly the female equivalent to an appatow film, in some ways dwd is painted as this like woman’s version of a Jordan Peele film (which in many ways is wrong lol idk)

She definitely subscribes to choice feminism or performative at best. (it very much leans toward awful double agent for the patriarchy tbh) I still remember someone’s tweet about how she turns a celebration of women into fawning praise of men and like that’s sorta pretty much it, somehow her feminism is always tied to the affirmations of or from other men to place her in a certain place or echelon. (Low key it was a red flag there weren’t other like women directing peers included in her profiles/interviews apart from maggie but tbh that was a trainwreck though right?) Idk if I got to that part in the profile but I can see that, like a making it out like she’s above it but really sorta right?

But yeah, there was a part in the profile where she said she was like a troll magnet and I thought like, what a way to avoid valid criticism for your shitty decisions and actions right? Like “oh I they just like to poke fun at me” no dummy omg like i can see it sometimes but to lump even the criticism with it is just so.... ? yk?

sorry I tied a lot of what you said back to the profile but this is just my long winded way of saying I agree with a lot of what you said and think lol but again your English is incredible 😊

#if i forgot to respond to something in your ask you're still curious about let me know sorry #anon #answered #long post

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shesboundtobruise · 4 months

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"Do you think there's actually anybody in the world that hasn't seen the Stab movies?" Sam could bumble around and try an open that's softer than that, but regardless of what her aunt Lou says, she's pretty sure the woman is a psychic. Or something. She's got that mom-sense.. which makes sense, because Ollie exists. And she did spend the better part of like.. five years raising her with mom when the dads were away. Shit, Sam spent like two of those years convinced she had two really shy closeted moms and that Lou and mom were a thing. Twenty-four now and in college and she still squints at them all and wonders. At least for a second, before remembering that if they ARE all secret swingers or something, she honestly doesn't want to know and just hopes they sanitize the couch.

All of which is still more comfortable to think about than there being a boy at school. A somewhat persistent boy. Who may or may not be reminiscent of Uncle Stu a little. Maybe not in movie trivia, but in general dork-factor. It's something. SOMETHING about him vaguely tickles the senses she's built to recognize the kind of people she wants to be around. It's just.. flaky with him. Anything but a clean read. Except he keeps trying and she can't imagine why.

Seems to her like there could only be the ONE reason to try that hard about her. And that would be if he's some kind of Stab fan. The series inspired by, even if loosely, her parents and her aunt and uncle and the mask that still haunts them. Except Richie just blinks at her and makes a face when she tries asking him about them and swears those kinds of movies aren't his thing. That he's never seen them. And she doesn't know if she believes.. but for once, she kind of wants to. (echoestm, sam, lou)

( @echoestm )

Despite the fact that her back's to Sam when she enters the room, Lou can feel the anxiety radiating off her, that little storm brewing beneath her skin with which she's well-acquainted. Before the girl can speak, her auntie is turning toward her, eyes on her, studying.

"I haven't." And she refuses to this day. Living through it all was horror enough; Lou doesn't need a series of Wes Craven rip-offs to scratch and rip at old wounds. "But you knew that, so I'm assuming you're asking about other people..."

Lou takes a seat, motions for Sam to plop herself beside her to continue this conversation.

"And by others, I'm thinking... a boy? Is there a boy you've got your eye on?" She bites back the smile that threatens to curl her lips at the thought of her darling Sam considering allowing another young man into her life. Not that she ever stopped shipping her and Sammy, but that's for another day.

If anyone understands the hesitation of allowing people past your defenses, it's Lou and she recognizes that this is likely why her damn-near-kid is coming to her.

"Tell me about him. What's his name, what's he like?"

#echoestm #( echoestm: sam )#( ic. / && replied. )#( verse. / && whisper to a scream pt. 2 )#( i love them your honor )

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just-another-blog-of-fluff · 2 years

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A Prank Worthy of the Blooper Reel

Word count: 2,100

Pairing: Marvel cast x female reader

Warnings: none that I can think of

By request - this is the sequel to On Set Pranks (part 3 to Bloopers). I'm not the greatest at coming up with pranks, but I hope this one is at least somewhat amusing! 😊😅

In case anyone hasn't figured this out yet - I have absolutely no concept of what really happens on a movie set. I'm probably way off, but it works for the idea that I had, so I'm just rolling with it!

Read first: Part 1 | Part 2

"Psst - Seb!"

You had your head poked out of your dressing room, trying to catch Seb's attention as he walked past. He turned at the sound of your whispering, and you motioned for him to come inside. He glanced around warily for a moment, then quickly slipped inside your room as you shut the door behind him.

"You sure it's a good idea for us to be seen fraternizing like this?" he asked, his voice hushed. "People might get the wrong idea."

"Nobody else was around, you saw yourself," you assured. "Now - do you have the scripts?"

He reached into the bag slung over his shoulder, removing a stack of paper with a flourish. "Ready to go."

"Excellent."

You turned to Tom where he sat on your dressing room sofa across the room. He had a sly grin on his face, one that suited the Loki costume he already had on for the day's rehearsal.

"You know your lines, right?" you asked him.

"Of course I do. Can't risk any blunders, now, can we?"

"Perfect." You grinned. "Seb, do you think you could manage to slip these scripts in place of the real ones before rehearsal starts?"

"Oh, don't worry. You know those three are always the last ones on set."

"Alright, good. Let's get going then."

You exited your dressing room, checking the hallway for any passerby before motioning for Seb and Tom to follow. If this prank was going to work, no one could know the three of you were collaborating. It was sure to raise suspicion.

It had been a few months since you started filming the Avengers movie, and you finally began opening up to your cast mates. It was perfect timing to play a huge prank on the unsuspecting actors - you were comfortable enough to play around and joke with them, but they would never suspect you would pull something. Especially nothing of the scale you were planning.

You had to enlist Tom's help to get this prank to work, since he would play a critical role in what you'd come up with. There was a scene coming up in which the Avengers would have to request help from Loki to be able to find a way onto Jotunheim undetected. It does take some convincing, of course, but Loki ultimately agrees to assist them. However, you thought it might be more interesting to embellish on that scene a bit - make the heroes grovel for his assistance. So, with Tom's help, you'd written a few modifications into a false copy of the script where Iron Man, Captain America, and Hawkeye would need to beg Loki to earn his help. You knew the actors would balk at this, which made it all the more amusing.

Seb had asked you months prior to be sure to include him when you decided to pull a prank on Chris Evans for the first time. You needed someone to help swap the scripts of the three actors, and so you requested his assistance. He was more than happy to join forces with the two of you, especially since he knew he wouldn't be on the receiving end of this prank.

The director was unaware of this little script swap, but you knew she would appreciate the prank all the same. It was only a staging rehearsal, so you wouldn't be ruining any actual takes for the scene. There was still a good chance it would be caught on film, however.

Many of the crewmembers were already on set when you'd arrived, but only a couple of the cast members were floating around the set, and none of your three targets were present. Seb had been right in that regard. Tom curbsided the director to discuss something about the day's scene, and Seb snuck the false scripts in place of Robert, Jeremy, and Chris's copies. No one outside of you three conspirers were privy to the swap. Everything was working out perfectly.

Once everyone had finally arrived on set, the director called for the actors to set up for the first scene of the day - the one you'd doctored as your prank. You watched from off to the side as the actors flipped through their scripts, trying your hardest to keep a straight face as you watched Chris's brow furrow and Robert tilt his head in confusion.

"I don't remember this part," Jeremy stated, pointing to a section on his script. Tom leaned over his shoulder to read the section, feigning complete ignorance.

"Oh, yes - I'd heard the director made a couple modifications to the script. I suppose she must have wanted the scene to be more dramatic."

"Hmph," Robert huffed, scowling. "I'm gonna have a real hard time staying in character for this."

"OK - quiet on the set everyone, let's get ready to rehearse!"

The director's call interrupted the grumbling of the three actors, and they reluctantly got into position to practice the scene. Seb stepped up beside you to watch, nudging you subtly with his elbow.

"Can't wait," he whispered.

The beginning of the scene began as originally planned. The three heroes have arrived in New Asgard where Loki is residing and are in the process of consulting with him for his assistance. Understandably, Loki is hesitant to oblige, given their less-than-amicable history. The heroes begin to bargain with him, becoming desperate.

That's when the scene took a turn off the original course, and your prank began to unfold.

"Oh-ho, I like this," Tom declared in his Loki voice, a broad, mischievous grin painted across his features. He began pacing slowly in front of them, his eyes never leaving theirs. "How the tables have turned. Three of the proudest benevolent heroes, groveling at my feet for help." He paused, turning to face the men more fully. "Perhaps you all should be kneeling before me. Why should I agree to anything if you can't even grovel properly to the royal Prince of Asgard?"

Chris, Robert, and Jeremy glanced at one another, cringing at what they were about to do. It was difficult to tell if their expressions were to keep in character, or if they truly felt ridiculous kneeling to the God of Mischief. In any case, the three of them obliged as written in the script, dropping to their knees.

"Uhh... cut!" the director called out. "What are you three doing?"

"Just following the script," Chris responded, picking himself up off the floor.

"That's not in the script. Though, it is funny! Definitely worthy of the blooper reel!"

"It's right here! Tom told us you made some-"

You could see the second it dawned on the three men that they'd been tricked. Realization sparked across their faces, and the three of them turned to look at Tom with wide eyes.

"You little sneak!" Robert exclaimed, unable to hide his grin despite being on the receiving end of the prank. "That was very 'Loki' of you, Hiddleston."

"Hehey - it wasn't my idea! I can't take full credit, I only played the part," Tom responded, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Who's idea was it, then?" Jeremy demanded, although he, too, had a poorly hidden grin on his face. Tom pointed toward you and Seb where you stood off set.

"I should have known you were involved in this!" Chris lamented, shaking his head at Sebastian.

"Uh-uh, it was her idea," Seb insisted, pointing at you and taking a step away to prove he wasn't allotted with your scheme.

"Wow. I knew this day would come, but damn I didn't expect you to pull that big of a prank for your first one!" Robert exclaimed, stepping over toward where you stood.

"We're going to have to come up with something huge to get back at you... you got us in the bloopers," Jeremy added, feigning anger. Anxious at the idea of getting revenge-pranked by the three actors, you shook your head, pointing at Seb.

"It wasn't me, it was him!! Don't lie to them, Seb!" you insisted. Seb turned to look at you with his mouth agape.

"What?? Oh, hell no, you're not putting the blame on me!"

"Seriously - are you guys going to believe him over me?" you inquired of the three prank victims.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Seb demanded.

"No, no... she's got a point, Seb," Chris interjected, nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, you're the one who's pulled pranks on us in the past. She's never done anything. At least, not to us," Jeremy added, folding his arms sternly.

"Looks like it's Seb we've got to plot our revenge on," Robert declared.

Seb glanced speechlessly at all three men, then returned his gaze to you. You flashed him a haughty smirk. No way were you going to take the fall for this after Seb tried throwing you under the bus the minute Tom pointed in your direction.

"Looks like you'd better watch your back," you taunted, adding insult to injury. Seb's eyebrows shot up in surprise at your brazenness.

"Me? Nah, you're the one in trouble."

He grabbed hold of your sides and kneaded his fingertips rapidly into the soft skin. You doubled over with a burst of laughter, twisting around to break free from his grip and run.

"Oh no, I'm not finished with you," he growled, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and continuing his ticklish assault on your sides and belly.

"SEHEB thehey're still WOHORKING!!" you protested.

"Right." He paused for a moment, turning toward the set with you still held tight against his chest. "Keep going - I'll give her back when her scene comes up!"

"NOHO!" You began squirming and giggling again as he picked up where he left off, fingers traveling up and down your sides and ribcage.

"Bet you regret lying now, don't you?" Seb teased, scratching faster at your ribs when he realized your laughter pitched up. "I graciously offered to help you and you sell me out?? Not cool."

"Ahalright Ihi'm SOHORRY!!"

"You gonna admit it was you then?" he asked, slowing his fingers to scratch at your sides gently so you could speak more coherently.

"Ihi... ihit was Tom's idea," you giggled.

"Oh, was it, now?"

You squeaked in surprise when you heard Tom's voice behind you, turning your head to find him standing a few feet behind you and Seb.

"Uhh... kidding! I was kidding!" you stammered. Tom stepped around the pair of you to stand in front of you, a pitying smile on his face.

"Oh, darling... it's far too late for that."

He slotted his fingers under your arms before you had the chance to react, wriggling his fingertips into your highest ribs. With a giggly screech, you began thrashing in a failed attempt to both escape Seb's grasp and shake Tom's fingers away from the spaces under your arms.

"OHOKAY! IT WAHAS MY IDEA!" you cried, unable to take it when Seb began scratching at your sides again. Both of them ceased their attack, satisfied with your admission of guilt. Seb released you, and you stumbled a few steps away to put distance between you and your attackers as you rubbed the residual tingles off your sides.

"You gonna go tell the other guys that?" Seb asked warningly.

"Oh, we all knew it was her."

You, Tom, and Seb looked up to see the three prank victims standing at the edge of the set staring at you with self-assured grins on their faces.

"You knew?" you asked incredulously.

"Yep," Robert confirmed. "Figured we'd save ourselves the trouble of coming up with a revenge prank when you got yourself in trouble with Seb."

"And you going on to blame Tom was just an added bonus," Chris added with a smirk. You groaned, face burning under their gazes.

"I will get you guys someday, mark my words," you warned teasingly. Turning to Tom and Seb, you added, "You guys too!"

"Sure that's a good idea?" Seb queried, wiggling his fingers toward you. The heat in your cheeks intensified as you took a step back.

"Not today! Not today! I promise!" you protested. Chuckling, Seb lowered his hands to his sides.

The guys returned to their scene staging, and you took a seat off to the side to await your next scene. You certainly hadn't lost your affinity for pranks, but you did have one thing on your mind:

You couldn't wait to watch the blooper reel.

#ticklish!reader #tickle fluff #tickle fic #marvel tickle #marvel fluff

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ramoth13 · 2 years

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A Few Small Thoughts On Amazon's "Rings of Power"

Mae g'ovannen, mellon.

I have seen a LOT of people on tumblr and the internet as a whole genuinely furious, irate, upset, aggravated, and even downright hostile at the new amazon show that is soon to be. And I get it, Amazon is only in it for the money, that part is hard to argue. They saw the success of other fantasy shows like GoT and The Witcher and wanted in on that action.

Yet, I think it would be a huge disservice to the creators of the show (not the Amazon overlords) to dismiss this as horrible from the start. Lest we forget that originally, Peter Jackson's the Lord of the Rings was set to be a Harvey Weinstein production (his name is still in the credits, because he wouldn't sell the rights unless they kept his slimy name in the credits) who wanted all three films to be a SINGLE film, have at least one hobbit die, and have over 4/5ths of the story cut or changed. Thankfully New Line Cinemas stepped in and saved the day, but it was the creators (Jackson and Co.) that fought to keep the story true. My point is, we cannot judge a creator by their benefactor, especially before the actual piece is released. The Tolkien scholars and creator fans (who grew up and loved watching the Lord of the Rings too) attached to this project are dedicated to seeing this done right. Amazon is paying for the show, the people working on the show are not the people paying for it to be made. Again, I point to the scholars that they have on staff to make sure its done as faithfully as possible. Amazon is literally contractually obliged not to change the story. Add to it? Yes. Change it? No.

Will it be perfect? Hell no, how could it be? This is the most magical history in all of history, it can't be perfect. But we shouldn't make this out to be anything more than what it truly is. This will simply be an adaptation, an interpretation. This doesn't change anything at all about the book(s) itself.

Now, I can hear the people already saying "Well but what about the fannon and headcannons? We've had these stories for years and now people will view these stories all through the lens of the new show?" I can sympathize, truly. But liking something different, and demanding it never changes are two different things. We cannot expect new fans to adhere to headcannons because we've been fans longer than they have. If there are new fans, I'm glad of it, The Silmarillion deserves so much more love than it's gotten. And for those still holding out against the show because it's different than the fan communities headcannons, I would say to do what Neil Gaiman did. He found that the movies were replacing what was the Lord of the Rings in his head, and so he stopped watching them (not because he didn't like it, but he wanted to keep his headcannon alive in his head). No one is forcing anyone to watch this.

And as far as forcing anyone to do anything, this is not a message trying to engage with those racist ideologues that bemoan any changes perceived of racial divergences in the narratives. I will not waste more time explaining why that thought process helps no one. In essence, the anger at someone portraying an elf in middle-earth as black is small-minded and unimaginative, and I'll say no more about it.

And as far as unimaginative, I think the anger towards Elrond's hair is somewhat interesting. As we have seen in trailers, only two elves have short hair. Elrond is quite literally the youngest elf we have ever seen on screen. Young children have short hair. These elves are young. Notice who didn't have short hair? The Calequendi, Galadriel. My hope is that this is an intentional kind of specialized attention and small detail work that will be seen throughout the whole show, but we will have to wait and see.

Speaking of, lastly, I do not intend to convince anyone that this show will be good. In fact, I see many ways it could go horribly wrong. Yet, assuming it will be bad is to engage with some good ole self-fulfilling prophecy. Going into a show, movie, book, art in general, and expecting it to be bad will make focusing on the things we don't like about that art far more likely. I'm not saying you shouldn't be wary, but I am suggesting that if you go into it looking for new things you like, rather than things you don't, will automatically improve your experience. I cannot take credit for this idea, Tolkien Professor Corey Olson helped me to start doing this and I'm so glad he did. This isn't to say you can't dislike something, rather, it is to say that by changing your perspective from negatively engaged to positively curious is to find more enjoyment in general, and especially in new things. Do whatever you like though, again, no one is forcing anything on anyone.

My main point in this is not that you should like it (I have my own reservations) or that it's going to meet our expectations and be better than the Lord of the Rings movies. I highly doubt that's even possible anyway. But rather, I hope that as a community we give it a chance to be something new worth considering. Once it's out, it you hate it, then so be it. Fair enough. But let's not hang the accused before the trial. Let's see what it can show us. I think the show's creators and Tolkien are owed that much, regardless of Amazon's involvement. No, in SPITE of Amazon's involvement.

Genuinely hopeful,

~ Ramoth13

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franki-lew-yo · 3 years

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The Romantic (2009, R, Gothic Fantasy/Horror), aka the most forgotten animated film in the world

What if I told you there was a movie under serious threat of becoming lost media with no clear reason as to WHY it's been lost other than no one has apparently watched it besides me and a few people on Reddit? What if I told you that movie wasn't half bad and would no doubt have some interest peeked if anyone DID know about it?

The name of that movie is The Romantic.

It was released in 2009 and it's Rated R for nudity and sex scenes [insert Robbie Rotten meme here], though none of it too graphic. It was a pet project created by animator Michael P. Heneghan, originally starting as a flash project for his animation class before he expanded it into a feature film. The film was inspired by movies such as The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, but what I see every time I look at it is a touch of Jhonen Vasquez, Tim Burton, and Roman Dirge- the guy behind Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl. It's flash animation especially remind me of the puppet-rigged toons of the 2000s (again like Salad Fingers or Lenore). It's not bad, it's just not inherently 'feature film' quality flash, nor is it exceptionally artistic like Sita Sings the Blues in it's simplicity. Like, really, if you happen to find this thing it's not the worst animated project at all it's just amateur for a professional production. I've seen worse flash movies. Heck, if The Romantic were released in separate parts on youtube or Newgrounds as a series (ala Homestuck) I'm sure it would have been really successful and totally in it's element. But it wasn't.

Because next to no one has seen it and I'm lucky to have not only ever seen it when it was available for free but have also found it recently (hush hush, I ain't telling you how) I'm going to actually give you all a plot synopsis under the cut. There will be some details I leave out and I think I've spelled some characters names wrong. It's a bit of a surrealist film as well, so you might need some things explained.

Spoilers ahead:

The Romantic is set in an autumnal, surrealist world inhabited by humans and monsters and ruled by three gods; Po the goddess of love; Pik the god of Hate; and Pjorrc the god of time though Pjorrc was made to live inside a pumpkin moon as everything he touched rabidly aged and died.

((Tapestry art featuring the main three gods of the film.))

A young man (called “Romance” or “The Romantic” by the other characters) performs a bull sacrifice in order to summon Abbledepopa, the unseen creator of the other gods and ‘storyteller’ of the world. The sacrifice does not conjure Abbledepopa but, when Romance spares a monster that was ready to eat him, the monster tells him of a profit named Patience. Patience is a foul-mouthed dwarf living alone with an army of babies who points Romance in the direction of Po.

((Romance outside of Patience's house.))

Romance wants the god’s help because he has fallen out of love with his girlfriend. Po grants him his desire and restores his love only for Romance to return home and find his girlfriend with another man. Blinded by heartache and rage, Romance kills her. He then swears vengeance on the gods for ‘making’ him do it. In the midst of this vow, a corrupt prophet called Fat Daddy kills the queen of Vauxhaul (Romance's home) and her guards, and forges a new body for his newborn son with their bodies. Fat Daddy rallies the townsfolk behind him in supposedly finding the Queen’s murder into follow a new religion called "The Poetic End".

((Romance (right) besides the monster he spared at the beginning of the movie.))

Patience accompanies Romance on his quest and tells him to take Po’s mask, which hides her true face, once he kills her. Romance buys Po’s trust by weaving her a tapestry that tells her story: in the dawn of time Po and Pjorrc were in love. However, Pjorrc gradually became distant and Po became resentful when their daughter, Love, earned Po's original title as the god of romance and love.

In the present day, Romance sleeps with Po for over a year before finally killing her and taking her mask. He and Patience return to his home of Vauxhul only to be chased out by Fat Daddy’s personal army. They flee to Marshallton, the town nearest to the god Pik.

((Romance's hometown of Vauxhul. ))

The king of Marshallton, King Crookie, tells Romance of a prophecy he, Patience, Fat Daddy and all the gods are a part of and that the world is soon to change. Romance then fights and successfully kills Pik when he shows the god of hate his reflection in a mirror King Crookie gave him, but not before losing his hand to Pik.

When Romance comes down the mountain he learns from Patience that nine years have passed since his fight with Pik began. Patience reveals to Romance what Pik saw in the mirror that allowed Romance to take the killing blow; after Love had grown up and married, Po asked Pik to tell her where her husband was always running off to. Pik reluctantly revealed Pjorrc was disguising himself as a human and married a mortal woman. Po found Pjorrc and his pregnant second wife, forcing Pjorrc to leave his human family behind, but not before asking his wife to name their son “Patience”. In retaliation for his treachery, Po proceeded to sleep with fifty men and produce the fifty bastard children in Patience’s house.

((Fat Daddy, the main villain.))

Marshallton and the entire rest of the world has fallen to the rule of Fat Daddy, who captures Romance and Patience. Fat Daddy tortures Patience into telling him how to get to Pjorrc but is unable to convince Romance to take part in his ‘new world’ or give him Po’s mask. Romance and Patience escape and leave the village to be torn apart by the fifty babies Po had, now transformed into veracious monsters after Patience didn’t feed them for the past ten years. Romance confronts Patience when he realizes the latter is Pjorrc’s son. Patience calls Romance out on his mantra of vengeance and points out that all his decisions are his own, not the gods, and instructs him to seek Love herself in Po’s basement. Patience then attempts to confront Pjorrc but is cornered and killed by Fat Daddy before he can do so.

In Po’s basement, Romance finds Love nailed to a wall, her face torn off and half eaten by her deformed husband. Love tells Romance that Po ripped off her daughter’s face in rage over Pjorrc’s infidelity and Pjorrc did not intervene fast enough. Po then threw Love into her basement, turned Love’s husband into a monster, and wore her daughter’s face as a mask - which Romance had broken into pieces moments ago after Patience had shown him his face in King Crookie’s mirror. Romance then finds Pjorrc hanging himself. As he dies, Pjorrc tells Romance to take the hand Fat Daddy had cut off and sew it onto himself, which will in turn help Romance defeat Abbledepopa.

Romance traverses the wasteland and does not find Abbledepopa, but instead a golden loom. Having seen all the destruction he and others had caused, Romance sits upon the loom and accepts his fate as the new ‘storyteller’ of the world, as he begins weaving a new one...

---

I mentioned before the animation quality of the film and why maybe that caused people to overlook it. The only other thing I could complain about on a technical level with The Romantic is it's sound design. Some of the voices and music is a little too quiet and so all these key details I had to go through the film a few times to really piece together. But that leads me to the thing I like about this movie and I'm sure others would to: the lore.

It's very hard to create a new fantasy world w it's own customs, religions, history and rules out of the blue as any YA Harry Potter/Hunger Games ripoff book could tell you. The Romantic is so unique in how it handles the pantheon and culture of these three gods and their kin; really only four or five characters throughout the entire story aren't connected to the gods or prophecy in some way, as there's the main three gods, Abbeldepappa, and the prophets Patience, Love and Fat Daddy, who make up your main cast besides Romance. There's a lot that's intentionally left unexplained and other info that must be explained, like Pjorrc and Po's marriage and Romance's feelings towards the gods, if we want to understand the former. The movie is paced pretty well and knows when to follow up on what, it's just that again some of those animation and editting shortcomings might make it hard to understand...but I don't think THAT hard. Look, if someone can enjoy Starchaser: The Legend of Orin or even better surrealist world-building films ((Fantastic Planet comes to mind)), then I say there's no reason The Romantic wouldn't have a following. There's no other way I can articulate why and what doesn't work about the story except just to recommend you watch it yourselves, but before I get into that I want to talk themes...because I love the themes and tone of The Romantic.

I revisited The Romantic a week before I made myself watch Centaurworld and The Owl House for the first time...and what a week that was~! The Romantic has the vibe of those kinds of shows along with Adventure Time and Infinity Train ((so I hear, I haven't watched the latter)). It's surreal and you'll only marvel at 'woooah wut an acid trip' for so long before you get into the vibe of the universe. It also reminded me substantially of the Broadway musical Hadestown and not just because this movie is also a self-contained, somewhat self aware fable about the relationships between humans and gods - it's very raw in how the characters talk. It's very emotional and blunt in how kind and how cruel they can be, and it doesn't make excuses or really worships any one of them. Romance himself is the world's most likable Incel: he murders a woman he thought he needed to love and blames his emotions on the gods of those passions...except the gods AREN'T the manifestations of love, time, and hate - they simply dictate and oversee it in the lives of men. It's a dynamic I really like in religious works where Gods are powerful but not all knowing or puppet masters to everyone's design- they have morality too and there is only so much you can blame and get from them.

"You made your gods into excuses and your excuses into gods!"

-Patience. This here is a cool quote. I like this quote.

No matter what, The Romantic is not gonna be a film for everyone. We all have our tastes - I think I'm drawn to it and accepting because I've come to love these kind of worlds that used to keep me up at night - these trippy 70s inspired fantasy landscapes given a whole Avatar: The Last Airbender degree of worldbuilding and character worth. It also doesn't feel exploitive in it's violence, it's sexuality, it's grimmness - it doesn't feel like it's trying to hard or going over the top because it happens to be an adult animated film, something that I love in movies like 9 or Hair High but really turns me off in stuff like Sausage Party or Wizards. Whatever go watch The Romantic...

if you can.

-----

When I first saw this film in 2016 it was actually very accessible and was even uploaded to youtube by the creator himself. I don't know WHAT happened to Michael P. Heneghan, but simply put, the man's disappeared...like...REALLY disappeared.

Lookit his IMDB. He has The Romantic and a wapping two other projects to his name. His Twitter isn't very helpful either. He last updated in early 2020 and he says next to nothing about The Romantic. It's so odd that he would one day be happy with the film enough to host it on Vimeo and Youtube but then just cop out.

According to a Reddit user: "On Valentines Day 2011, Heneghan released the film for free online through all kinds of platforms including direct download, bittorrent, Vimeo, and even directly through Archive.org. He even joked about releasing a 300 gig uncompressed version.

I know I watched it on Vimeo probably as recently as 2016. Now I can't find it anywhere. The website is dead, the Vimeo video went private, even the archive.org version has been taken down. It really looks like he wanted to wipe it off the face of the internet. His newer website mentions it, but again, the Vimeo link is dead and even that website is closed for business."

It's weeeird. What happened Michael?

And yes, obviously, other people worked on the movie.

No - I can't find out anything about them either.

I'm betting on three theories at the moment: 1) this film is an SCP or some Candle Cove weirdness with only me and a handful of people ANYWHERE remembering it, 2) something weird is going on w Michael Heneghan and it involves too something about this film. It was a scam or a scheme or a hidden agenda weirdness, 3) Heneghan's doing okay he just doesn't like this film anymore and wants it hidden while he takes a break.

Look, I get it Michael! What was once our life's worth can become cringe as you improve as an artist - you're not the person making the stuff you were ten years ago...but you should still have the film kept alive somehow. Someway.

I'm seriously the only person to have ever made fan art of this movie on the internet. That just doesn't happen, and I don't think I like being in a fandom of one. The Romantic is a testament to the power of design and storytelling > animation quality itself. Too often I see people equate good animation with smooth animation, with a budget with squash and stretch. These animations are good but art is diverse and there's so many kinds of films out there, the value of the medium can't just be in one style/form. There's a lot of honestly wonderful pieces of art out there if you know where to look and you're willing to see where it leads you.

Don't let The Romantic be the most forgotten movie of all time. Reblog this post. Show it to your friends. PM the animation community reviewer people like Saberspark and someone who isn't Saberspark and smuggle them a copy.

Keep telling the story...

#Franki's Features #The Romantic #The Romantic Michael Heneghan #The Romantic 2009 #animation #animation community #underrated animation #lost media #horror animation

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lihikainanea · 3 years

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Did tiger and bill ever go through like a phase where tiger kind of had to get used to bill thinking of her? Like she wasn't really used to being someone's first choice, like someone thinking about what she might like or want. To have someone frankly just think of you. I'm sorry to be a bother. Just feeling kind of bad lately, and could use some sweet bill. Sorry again.

First of all boo, please don't ever be sorry for sliding into my DMs. I love hearing from you guys, especially if you're not doing that well. I'm all ears, and this blog is a safe space for everyone--so pull up a chair and stay awhile. I, and our two favourite idiots, would be nothing if it weren't for all the amazing asks that you guys send to me <3

Secondly, I love this train of thought because I think it is very, very true. And it probably started back at the beginning of their friendship, right? Yes, it did. Follow me down this rabbit hole.

Bill doesn't make a lot of new friends because since the whole fame thing, he has trouble trusting people--and Bill, by nature, is a caretaker. He's extremely nurturing. He provides. He takes care of those close to him, in one way or another. But he knows his own empathic side, he knows its limits and boundaries, and one of the worst things he can do for his own well being is care about too many people. Get involved with too many people. Bill is happiest amongst his close group of friends, people he knows he can trust, people he can cook dinner for and host movie nights for and fly halfway around the world when he has a premiere.

And tiger, for her part--my girl tiger, she has zero self-preservation skills. Like, none. And Bill is fascinated by that. He's fascinated by this little fireball who not only has no idea who he is, but who subsequently really couldn't give a shit once she found out. He's enamoured with this little scrappy ball of ire who is convinced not only that she can start a bar fight with everyone in the pub, but that she can legitimately win. Bill's never seen anything like it. And once you meet tiger, she's impossible not to love. Or at least, it's impossible not to be intrigued by her, and to want to know more.

But the thing is, that firecracker personality and the massive chip on her shoulder doesn't come from nowhere--tiger's been hurt a lot. And it's because she never goes for the good guys. For as much as Bill has an empath side, tiger has the self-destructive kind where she wants to fix people. And she always goes for the dudes who will take and take and take, the dudes who play rope a dope with her heart, and who leave her shattered. Tiger gives her soul away too easily, and she takes it as a challenge when she's tossed to the side by some guy who was never worth her time anyway. She tries to prove she's worthy.

But then in comes Bill--this big, wall-eyed, kind of freaky looking dude who seems nice and kind and is moderately soft spoken. And when they hang out, Bill starts showing a genuine interest--platonically, of course--but it's genuine. He asks what she does for a living. He asks if she likes it. He wants to know where she went to school, what she studied. Does she have any siblings? Because he has a lot, and he knows how tough big families can make you. When tiger can't decide if she wants the chilli fries or the chicken wings one night at a pub, Bill tells her to get both--and that's when she knew they'd be friends.

And it slowly but surely escalated from there--still all platonic at the beginning--but suddenly, Bill was asking her how she was getting home, if she needed a ride. He was asking her how her week was, when everyone got together on Friday--and if she had mentioned something big previously, a meeting or a presentation or something--he'd remember, and ask her how it went. If he left the bar early, he'd politely ask her if she could text him when she got home.

"Why?" she scoffed.

"Because somebody needs to look out for you," he answered honestly. Tiger, in true fashion, balked awkwardly.

And this is where her defence mechanism started to fly up. Because when you're not used to being cared for, when you're not used to genuinely mattering to someone or hell even just getting the attention of a truly good person--it's weird. It's awkward. It's scary as hell and requires a level of vulnerability that tiger isn't ready to let exist--because it would mean that she would have to admit to herself that she is worthy. That this is the norm, and that she deserves this. That she knowingly let herself settle for being treated like shit for so many years.

And tiger's first defence is always anger. So maybe she started getting real snippy with him, probably well into their friendship by this point--so Bill was cooking for her, and if he wasn’t then he was checking in to make sure she ate at least one vegetable that day. If she had a date, he would wait until she texted him that she was in for the night--whether that was at the guy’s place or hers. If she needed a ride home in the morning then he would pick her up, in all of her walk of shame glory--but he’d pick her up with a few Advil, some big sunglasses, a huge coffee. And he would absolutely make fun of her nefarious, ill-fated decisions but he’d always wait at least 12 hours before he dared.

But to go even further--you are absolutely right. Bill does put her first. Once she is solidified as his best friend, then there’s no going back--she comes first. And part of it is Bill really is legitimately concerned because tiger has no self preservation skills and he worries that if HE doesn’t concern himself over her, then tiger will just like...her reckless decisions will be her undoing. He must look after Little Human, because Little Human’s self-destructive streak is far too prevalent. He has left dates in the dust when she needed his help. He looks out for her in group settings, and intervenes if some idiot is getting too handsy with her. If he has a boys night that night but tiger calls crying because some idiot broke her heart, or crying because it’s shark week and she’s out of gummy bears--then Bill is there. In a heartbeat, he’s there. She comes first.

And I’ll bet it’s all very nice, but it also kind of has tiger seething. Because she’s not used to this kind of...care. The genuineness of it. And tiger can’t be vulnerable enough to admit that part of her likes it, part of her feels safe knowing that even in the wee hours of the morning, Bill is awake and waiting for her to let him know she got in safely. Part of her kind of likes this idea that someone is thinking of her, that someone prioritizes her. But it’s still tiger, so she also gets hella mad. And she seethes--for a long time, she seethes. Quietly. And then maybe it all just comes to a head one night when she goes over to Bill’s place after work and he has a crisp glass of white wine waiting for her, a change of clothes, even her favourite make up remover--the kind that doesn’t sting, because she has sensitive skin. And all of that pisses her off, but then she walks into the kitchen as he’s deftly cleaning and slicing mushrooms.

“How did it go?” he asks casually. Tiger plays dumb.

“How did what go?” she swigs her wine.

“The meeting with your boss today.”

“...Fine,” she mumbles, petulantly. Of course he’d remember that, even though she told him two weeks ago.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he offers kindly. Tiger sees an errant pile of green onions on his chopping board, and she eyes them wearily but somewhat triumphantly. Bill heads to the fridge, pulls out a bowl of salad, then he tosses the green onions in. Perfect, she thinks, and it gives her a weird sense of satisfaction. Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Considerate, doesn’t even remember what she considers to be the most significant thing about her. That she hates green onions. She feels triumphant, renewed. Somewhat weirdly comforted to confirm that perhaps she doesn’t mean that much to him.

Until he heads back to the fridge, and pulls out another bowl of salad--one that he promptly dresses, salts and peppers, and tosses. One without green onions. One for her.

“Why do you do that?!” she explodes. Bill jumps in surprise.

“Do what?” he asks innocently, “This one has no green onions!”

“Exactly,” she continues, “Ugh, Bill. Just...why do you always...ugh, Bill!”

Bill is stunned, still holding his bowl of salad, trying to figure out what exactly is happening here.

“It’s too much,” tiger says, slamming her wine down, “All of it is too much.”

“What’s too much?”

“You! This. Why do you always just....think of everything?” she says, and she’s steadfastly working herself into a tizzy.

“Tiger...”

“How? How do you remember these things? How do you fucking remember that I had a meeting with my boss today, a meeting that I told you about two weeks ago? Why do you make a whole other bowl of salad for me, why do you remember that I hate green onions?”

“Because I care about you kid,” he shrugs.

Tiger is angry, but she’s also at a loss for words. Bill’s genuineness, his honesty, will do that. For as much as she struggles to be vulnerable. Bill shows that side of himself openly. She doesn’t even know why she’s so angry. Bill watches her for a minute, but she’s kind of just bug-eyed so he goes back to his cutting board and starts calmly chopping his little mushrooms again.

“I don’t like it,” she mutters after a long pause.

“Too bad,” he shrugs non-chalantly. Tiger glares at him.

“Too bad?” she seethes.

“Too bad,” he repeats.

“Stop it,” she says.

“No.”

“Bill, I mean it. Stop always trying to--”

“No.”

“I’m not finished,” she stamps her foot, “Stop being such--”

“No.” he says again, “Tiger, this is what I do.This is how I am. I care about the people that matter to me.”

“Well I don’t ma--”

“Yes you do. You matter to me. So I suggest you put on your big girl panties, and fucking deal with it,” he says. And that’s final. Tiger is taken aback at his tone, at the way his face suddenly got serious--but then in a heartbeat, it’s relaxed again.

“Now, do you want mustard on your burger, or ketchup?” he asks. Tiger is petulantly silent, glaring at him.

“Tiger.” he warns, holding up the hamburger bun.

“Shouldn’t you already know?” she huffs in annoyance, going to the fridge and grabbing the wine. She swigs it right from the bottle as she boosts herself up on the kitchen counter. Bill goes to the fridge and grabs the mayo--her favourite--putting a thick schmear on the bun.

“God, get fucked asshole,” she mutters. Bill just grabs her face, plants a noisy kiss on her cheek as she shrieks and swats him.

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #BFF!Bill #bill skarsgard fanfic #bill skarsgard fanfiction #bill skarsgard fic

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shotowoki · 3 years

Text

PAIRING: shouto todoroki x gn!reader WARNINGS: fluff, swearing, kissing, mutual-pinning, implied nsfw, pretty much just fluffy goodness :) WORDCOUNT: 4k

SYNOPSIS: Being roommates out of sheer convenience shouldn't have been a problem. It shouldn't have been as difficult as Shouto had made it out to be. I mean, you two barely spoke, barely found time to be together in one room and barely even came in contact with one another despite living under the same roof. It really should have been a piece of cake. But the feelings Shouto had for you grew larger with every day that passed, complicating things far more than was necessary...

In an empty room, Shouto lay sprawled on his bed. The thought of you conquering his mind as he envisioned you in your entirety.

The lazy slither of moonlight that pierced his curtains left a gentle glow across his face, the sorrow in his eyes highlighted as he pondered over the same thing he did every night. Who were you?

It seemed like a stupid question on the outside, as to those who didn't know you two well, you seemed like good friends. After all, you did live together; it would be harder to know nothing about the other. But, in Shouto's case, he knew near nothing about you. So, every night he lays in his sheets, frustrated with his lack of knowledge, listing all the things he did know. As he balled the covers under him, intertwining his fingers with the cotton, he asked himself one thing: 'who were you?', once more.

There were a few vague things he knew. He knew you worked as an office assistant, finished your work off late at night in the kitchen, took around 45 minutes in the shower, you rarely ate food at home, and brought take out every other evening. Not to mention, you barely left your room and thus leading to this lack of relationship between you two.

But what did this random trivia on you do for him? Nothing. It provided him with zero useful information, nothing to work with, and it most certainly did not quench his curiosity for you.

A heavy exhale parted his lips, and he sunk deeper into his mattress. Maybe this was enough for today. The constant worrying about you wasn't doing him any good, and he knew it. At this point, his curiosity was turning into something more. Before Shouto knew it, his once frustrated wonders had turned to admiration. And this was his current situation, face feeling hot as reality hit him like a train. When did he start to like you, and more specifically, why?

That empty feeling filled him once more; the lack of answers to all these questions had him feeling beyond exhausted. He barely knew you, and yet even moments like these felt like enough. A small rush of nervousness always stopping him in his tracks whenever the sheer thought of you crossed his mind. It felt ridiculous and brought Shouto way too much humiliation. And so, he shook these feelings off. The mystery that was you was far beyond his reach, and it was time he submitted to that fact.

Fluttering his eyelids shut, he put his mind at rest, drifting off into dreamland.

The next day had arrived, Shouto's previously exhausting night already long passing him. A wet towel swung over his head; he exited the bathroom somewhat wet, and ready for a new day.

A cold shower did the job alright, waking him up and helping him forget about the endless thoughts of you that had him up late last evening. All that remained was to fill his stomach up, and he would forget the whole ordeal. Still slightly embarrassed at the realization that he had caught feeling for the stranger that lived in the room opposite his own.

Scrubbing his hair and patting his face dry with the towel on his head, he entered the kitchen. He expected it to be empty like every other regular morning. But instead, Shouto was greeted with arguably the worst and best thing. There you sat at the kitchen island, eyeing a cup of coffee, evidently zoned out.

Shouto stopped in his tracks, and his heart dropped to his stomach. If it was even achievable, the beating of his heart was more rapid than humanly possible and probably more audible than ever. Why were you home? Not that he was complaining, it was just rare to have you home this early in the morning. Did you not have work today? Did something happen? Why are you just sitting there staring at a cup? All these questions sprung up in Shouto's head as he stood dumfounded and nervous.

His cheeks lightly sprinkled in a pink blush; he just stood there awkwardly, not daring to even move an inch. To anyone but himself, he would look pretty composed, but internally he was malfunctioning. He had hoped for a moment like this to arise for a while now. But now that the opportunity had presented itself, he barely knew what to do. It didn't help the fact he was already a flustered mess over the thought of you last night, and now there you sat in front of him.

Taking one deep breath, Shouto resumed his walk to the fridge, waving off the nerves that had built up inside him.

"Good morning, y/n. It's rare to see you home at this time." Shouto attempted to break the silence in his signature monotone voice.

It remained pretty tranquil for a bit. The only noise being that of Shouto making himself breakfast and the sound of you taking a shy sip of your drink.

"Morning. I don't have work today, so I'm home."

Your voice simmered out into the atmosphere, but it remained looping in Shouto's mind. As his back faced you, he felt his ears get hot, and he knew for a fact, he was beet red now. How did just hearing your voice already throwing him off guard?

Shouto gently exhaled, feeling his adrenaline spike through him. He just needed to stay calm. But how could he when he wasn't accustomed to hearing your voice, especially when you spoke so softly? Having a crush on your roommate was most certainly an inconvenience, as Shouto struggled to keep his concentration on making a simple cup of coffee for himself.

"Oh. Did you finally get a day off?" Luckily Shouto's voice came out calm. He'd be damned if he stumbled and made himself look more like a fool than he already had.

Well, he looked like a fool to himself, at least. You barely took notice of the random pauses his whole body made or the way he would occasionally take self-soothing deep breaths. If anything, you wouldn't even know if this type of behavior was unusual for him since you saw him so rarely.

Come to think of it, you don't even have a baseline to work with when judging his overall character. That's partially due to the fact you two have never actually sat down and bonded, which led an idea to spark off in your mind.

"Yeah, it's my first day off in a while." You spoke in a slightly more upbeat tone now, excited for the proposition you were about to make. "So, since I'm home, how about we hang out and get to know each other properly." You smiled his way, tilting your head slightly as you awaited his response.

And just as the suggestion escaped your mouth, Shouto made the unfortunate mistake of turning around, his surprised expression out on display as he was yet to process what you just had said.

"Um, sure." is all Shouto was able to say. His heart thumped out of his chest, and his words knotted up in his throat.

The sudden proposition you offered him had him speechless. All these sudden coincidences being the last thing Shouto expected. Was it all too sudden, perhaps? Either way, he wasn't going to deny the opportunity at hand because who knew when you would be free again. Finally, this was his chance to answer the question that has been keeping up at night. And somewhat address these feelings that had started manifesting.

"Then, I was thinking... maybe we could have a movie night?" You chirped, leaning over the counter in excitement.

"You know, there's this movie my coworkers have been talking about, and I've really been wanting to watch."

For the first time, Shouto got to see you relish in your interests. A cute smile curling the corners of your lips as you spoke, rambling about this so-called movie. He couldn't help but smile at your bubbly nature, getting lost in the expressions you were making that he has never before seen. The way your eyes lit up and your hands waved around as you tried convincing him to watch the movie. Little did you know, you didn't need to convince him of anything, he would agree to watch anything with you. But he wasn't going to burst your joyful bubble now. He wanted to savor this moment, and so he let you speak whatever was on your mind, just burning this moment into his memory.

Dazing at your soft lips as you spoke, he realized how zoned out he had become; your speech becomes just a faint murmur in the back of his mind as all he could think about was how much more beautiful you looked up close.

"Ah, sorry! I completely went on a tangent there. I tend to do that when I get excited. I'm sorry!" You giggled while exaggeratingly facepalming yourself.

And with that, he was once more snapped back into reality. What were you just talking about? Aside from the mention of a movie night, Shouto couldn't remember much else. He couldn't have retained anything that fell from those pretty lips of yours. And down the gutter, his thoughts went once more. The overwhelming flustering feeling washed over him as he realized what ideas exactly he was having right in front of you. He needs to hurry up and respond to you rather than just standing there aimlessly staring at your lips.

"Don't worry about it. You look cute anyways when you're so excited about something." Those words left Shouto so fast he could barely believe he had said them himself. The humiliation already settling itself as he cursed himself for being such a creep.

The sudden affection from your roommate had you stuttering. You have had your eye on him ever since you moved in together. What was there not to like about him? He was good-looking, always left food out for you, and cleaned the apartment before you got back from work. The only issue was you. You were far too shy to admit to these feelings, your one solution being to lock yourself up in your room and avoid him like the plague. Today just so happened to be the exception as you felt a tad bit confident when he nonchalantly (as you perceived it) walked into the kitchen.

Now a compliment of this magnitude was the last thing you expected, and so your insides burnt hot as you shifted in your seat.

"Sorry! I didn't mean for it to come out that way." The concern in his voice was more than evident, the furrowing of his brows in frustration delivering his apology clearly.

"No-no, it fine! Really."

"What I was trying to say was that a movie night sounds great!" Shouto bopped his head down as he managed to completely fuck up this one opportunity that he had. To him, it seemed as though he had ruined everything, but if anything, he had succeeded a lot more than he gave himself credit.

You were still giddy at his subtle compliment, heart racing at the fact he called you cute. CUTE. Failure should have been the last thing on Shouto's mind as if he observed you a little more closely, he would have noticed the satisfactory grin on your face.

"Great! I'll meet you in the living room at 5 pm then." You hoped out of your chair, putting your empty cup away.

You definitely wanted to stay with him longer, but you needed to calm yourself down. The knots in your stomach tightening by the second as you felt flustered by his presence.

"Right."

Gently, you squeezed past him as you exited the kitchen, the cozy heat that radiated from his body sending goosebumps down your skin. Even with a touch so short-lived, you couldn't help but freak out. How would you manage this evening? Only future you will know the answer to that question.

As quickly as you parted ways, the evening arrived just as fast. A golden sunset burst through the living room window and drizzled the atmosphere in sweet honey. A soft breeze floated through as Shouto sat anxiously waiting for you.

His outfit was bland, but it was expected of him. Just a pair of generic grey sweatpants paired with a white tee. As stated previously, his attire was very bland. But it was comfy, to say the least.

Just on time, you finally met him at your designated period. Your heart hammered out your chest, not only from the nervous itch that was being with your crush, but the possibility of this all being awkward. It felt like meeting a stranger, only with an odd sense of familiarity attached. Maybe then calling him a stranger would be a poor analogy. Perhaps it was more like being left alone with that person your friend was trying to introduce you to. Yeah, that's a better parallel for how this all felt right now. However, it all still felt rather exciting.

"Hi! Are you ready?" You giggled as you sunk into the couch, sitting beside him.

"Definitely. What's the movie called again, y/n?" The way your name so easily fell from his lips set off the butterflies in your stomach.

It sounded so pretty coming from him, way prettier than you could have prepared yourself for. Suddenly, you found yourself speechless, mind going blank as you fished for the name of the movie you knew.

"U-um, it seems my mind has gone blank. Give me a second."

Rubbing your arm in an attempt to calm yourself, you let out your signature laugh. The golden hue of the sun stirred the color of his heterochromatic eyes as you glanced back at them, still thinking of the name of the movie you knew just a second ago. Attentively, his eyes examed you, and you managed to catch sight of this glance.

"Don't worry, take your time." With that, his eyes shot back up meeting yours. "Do you happen to be cold? You're rubbing your arm."

That explained his gaze, but it didn't happen to settle the nerves inside you. And in your flustered state, you responded with the first thing that came to mind as you swatted your hand to your side.

"Ah, yeah! It's a bit chilly with the window open in here."

Right on cue, Shouto reached for the blanket on the sofa, wrapping it snuggly over your shoulders. The way his slender fingers brushed against your skin as he positioned the fabric on you made you freeze. You could barely hear yourself think as your heart ran wild, adrenaline surging your veins. His face was so close, so close you could see how his eyelashes softly brushed his cheeks with every blink. Fast, it all happened so fast, and yet the memory replayed in slow motion in your mind. The way he just swept in and then back out.

"There. If it gets too cold I'll close the blind." He smiled at you comfortingly before reaching for the remote.

You couldn't do anything but sit there wide-eyed, your nervousness being unbearable.

"The movie... I can't remember its name." Finally, you admitted defeat, done battling your mind that was clearly not regaining composure any time soon.

"That's fine. I guess we can just watch whatever piques our interest for now. There's always next time."

There's always next time. The implication of another hang-out was soothing. Knowing that this wasn't a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity managed to quiet you down slightly as you repositioned yourself to sit more comfortably on the sofa.

"Right!" You beamed in agreement, turning your attention to the tv.

The mindless scrolling through Netflix lasted a while as you made conversation with one another. Talk of how most movies were boring filled your discussions, exchanging laughter here and there too. It all felt so reassuring, and both of you were starting to feel more relaxed. Movie after movie, it felt like you were about to hit a dead end until you eventually landed on something intriguing.

"This one! This one looks good, right?" You explained, pointed to the digital screen that gently lit up your faces.

"Right, it doesn't sound bad."

Shouto was beginning to uncover you and your character a lot better now. Seeing as you got excited about the most random things, but also the way you were so easily caught off guard. It put a soft smile on his face as he just admired you silently.

The movie began to play, the two of you settling down as the noises from the tv exclaimed through the speakers. To say that Shouto was happy was an understatement. Looking back on the evening from just last night to now was a huge shift, and a huge shift in the direction he could have hoped for. It was the start of something he had been wishing for long while now.

Hearing you laugh at the actors on screen, turning to face him as you shared the humours moments with him had him feeling all gooey inside. Lightly, your leg would occasionally brush past his, making him more than eager to pull a move on you. Fuck it, right? Apparently, Shouto couldn’t just have his cake, he wanted to eat it too.

You were far too cute in this moment, nudging on him softly as your laugh radiated through the air. And so, in a moment when his adrenaline spiked and clouded his judgment, he snaked an arm over you shoulder, cradling you into his chest. You gave into his invitation, resting against him.

Not to say you were all calm about the exchange, you were in fact the complete opposite. It was really happening, you were laying in Shouto’s toned arms, his fingers gently gliding up and down your forearm as he sunk down onto the couch. Laying himself down and then you on top of him.

Was Shouto calm about this, then? Definitely not. His hearts rapid beating was audible as you rested your head on his chest. Smiling hazily as you realised he was just as nervous about all this as you.

As he lay under you, you soaked in his touch, the way his toned figure felt as your hands snaked around his waist. And the way his breathing gently cascaded a chilly breeze down your neck, shivers forming along your soft skin. Ever smooth shift and touch his body made against yours was thrilling.

At this point you weren’t even concentrated on the movie, and instead on the boy under you. The movie acting more as background noise to the thing you really wanted to watch. Glancing up at his soft features, the way his plump rosy lips were slightly parted as his eyes shifted across the screen. Oh how you wanted to kiss him in this moment. What was holding you back exactly?

You could lean any minute if you just so pleased.

“Shouto?” You finally spoke up, interrupting the tranquility between you two.

His response was a simple hum, eyes falling to meet yours. The way he held eye contact, smiling at you invitingly was enough to have anyone falling for him. You felt extremely lucky to be even given the chance to be in this position with him.

“Can I?” You started, lifting yourself up slightly.

“Can you?”

He quirked a brow at you as he sat up to meet your movement. Trapped under you as your two legs straddled his lap, you gave him a sheepish smile. A short moment passed without a response, and Shouto smiled at you suspiciously, leaning in to jokingly examine your face.

“What’s on your mind?”

At his unannounced actions you glanced away, but Shouto only pulled your chin to look back at him. A smirk growing on his face before his palm came to cup your cheek; his other hand resting nonchalantly on your thigh.

And like he knew exactly what you were thinking, with a light brush of his thump against you bottom lip, he dipped in for a kiss.

His plump lips meeting yours. Soft, they felt so soft as they moulded perfectly with yours, meting against the other. The tender way his lips hovered for a second as he pulled away, licking his lips and then coming back in. Glazing you in his touch, he began to move again, taking in one of your lips at a time, relishing in your sweet taste. The way his lips massaged yours with every move he made had you pressing yourself into him.

It felt relieving in a way, finally dining the dish you’ve been craving for so long. After all these months you two have lived together, finally you both were holding each other like you have been wanting. Arms wrapped around his neck, fingers weaving throw his hair as you yearned for more.

Your plush tongue came to meet his, intertwining with the other. Happily, he ventured your mouth, taking in every inch of you. Smoothly dragging his tongue to the root of your mouth then pulling himself out, until he came back in once more to suck you back in.

The only think separating you two being the string of spit that drizzled off each other’s tongues as you caught your own breaths between each embrace. Your merciful moans he swallowed, his delicate hands travelling up your spin. They left a cold trail, fireworks erupting your stomach as the adrenaline of this all began seeping in.

You two were getting too carried away, but it just goes to show how bad you wanted one another. Shouto, however, wanted to clear things up before you continued any further.

He pulled away breathily, blinking at you with delight in his eyes.

“Y/n, I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while now, and i’m sorry if this is sudden. But, I like you.”

That sentence alone had you more flustered than your previous touches and you smiled like a kid with candy.

Was this a dream come true? Maybe it was, which in that case, you definitely didn’t want to wake up. But, lucky for you, this was in fact reality.

“I like you too, silly” You giggled only inches away from his face, and the instant grin that sprawled across his lips was the only confirmation you needed.

Instantly, he engulfed you in a tight hug, his head cradling itself into the crook of you neck.

“Then how about we finish this off in my bedroom now that you’re all mine.” Was the last thing he said, his lips resuming their bidding on the soft skin in your neck.

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do-y0u-have-to-let-it-linger · 3 years

Note

Hi! Can I get a ship? I'm an INFP, straight girl with social anxiety. I listen to music all the time. (mostly rock) I never leave the house without my earphones. I enjoy movie nights, reading books (romance and mystery are my favourite genres), playing videogames, goofing around with my friends. My friends would describe me as kind, helpful and loyal. I'm really into photography. I wanted to be a photographer as a kid, but it's just a hobby nowadays. I'm a hopeless romantic and a night owl. It takes time for me to open up to people, but once I'm there I can be pretty talkative. I'm 5'8" tall, I have half long brown hair, dark brown eyes and I wear glasses. If I have to describe my style it would be somewhat 80s grunge. Thank you!

(tw: swearing and eating)

I ship you with Scott Summers!

You never got along very well with Scott Summers.

He always came across as a bit of a preppy asshole. Not that his preppy-ness was necessarily correlated to his asshole-ness, but it did seem to enhance it.

You may think that not getting along perfectly with some random boy who happened to live in the (large) building you live in is not much of a problem, but you are incorrect.

When your best friend (and dorm-mate) of ten years, Jean, is on a so-called "superhero team" with and is good friends with said boy, it is not exactly easy to avoid him.

Since Jean's biological family was not around, she made her own.

The first member of her so-called found family was you, who arrived just a day before she did. When she first entered your dorm, you were adjusting all of your newly unpacked trinkets. You were both young enough to immediately become friends, no questions asked, and your friendship stuck. You two tended to keep to yourselves and each other, until you two were older.

When Jean was invited to join the X-Men with some of her friends, you couldn’t have been prouder. The problem was that when you met this other part of her found family, it did not go well. None of you clicked whenever in the same room, and Scott immediately made fun of you the moment he met you. You ultimately decided to avoid her other friends, but be supportive of them. Not because you couldn’t handle Scott, but because you didn’t want to put Jean in a position where she had to choose between you and them. Overall, this just made Jean desperately want you and her other friends to get along.

"Come on, just sneak out with us this one time!" Jean was sitting on the edge of your bed, making puppy dog eyes at you and clasping her hands together.

She always tried to convince you to hang out with her friend group. Even if that meant, in this case, convincing you to break (very reasonable) rules with them.

"No. Absolutely not. Jubilee is going to try to 'catch me a man', and Scott's going to try to be funny but just end up making fun of me. Besides, why would I break school rules and steal a car for a trip to the mall?"

"Because you haven't seen Empire Strikes Back yet, and I bought you a ticket for 1:00 PM today."

"Shit. You're evil, you know that? This is unfair. You know me too well."

Jean beamed at you. "Thank you, I try. Now, get dressed, you're going to love this."

"I am dressed, and you can’t make demands. I’m the one being convinced here!"

"I will not be pestered by Jubilee's pleas to let her give you a makeover! Just throw on jeans instead of your sweatpants or something! Now chop, chop! We're leaving in 10 minutes!"

"I'm sorry, 10 minutes?"

"I knew if you had more than 15, you would change your mind. Meet me by the front door when you're ready to go!"

After Jean left your shared room, you threw on some different clothes and hastily grabbed everything you needed to go. With your sneakers in your hands, you ran into the school's kitchen and shoved a granola bar in your mouth. As you were hopping, trying to force your shoes on your feet, someone spoke from behind you.

"Well, you look elegant as ever."

You froze, squinted your eyes, and clenched your jaw. Well, as much as you could with the previously mentioned granola bar in your mouth.

Scott Summers.

You swallowed and turned around, plastering on a smile in preparation to respond to his sarcasm.

"Well, you know me, unwaveringly ethereal."

Once you finished your attempt to keep the peace, your grin dropped off your face and you went to tie on your shoes, occasionally having to push your glasses back up your nose as you did so.

Jean then started talking to you while making her way into the kitchen.

"Come on, we need to go before Charles's class ends- well, well, well, look at you two!" she spoke in a sing-song tone at the end.

"Trust me, there's no 'you two' here." Scott hissed at her. Hissed! The audacity, would it be so terrible for him to be theoretical friends with you?

"Calm down, I just mean that I'm glad you two are talking," Jean said. "But we need to go. Like- now."

Jean then grabbed you by the arm and started to pull you out of the room, wiggling her eyebrows at Scott on the way out. Scott got up to trail behind you two, if he could glare at people with the glasses he wore, then he would have been glaring at her.

You elbowed Jean in the side and whisper shouted at her.

"What was that? What was the purpose of the eyebrow wiggle?"

"What eyebrow wiggle? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You're a menace to society, you know that?"

"I am aware that you don't actually think I'm a menace, but I appreciate the compliment." She leaned down and messed up your hair. "Now let's move it!"

When you got to the minivan you were all "borrowing" from Charles, most everyone was already there. Kurt, Jubilee, and Peter took the back seats, and Ororo was sitting in the driver's seat.

You walked to sit shotgun, but Jean sped up to beat you to the seat.

Suspicious.

Squinting at her, you went to sit in the middle row, where Scott also made to sit.

It was silent for the first minute of the drive until Jubilee tried to strike up a conversation.

"So! Y/N, I'm so glad you decided to hang out with us! I love your outfit. Ooh! Peter, hand me my bag! I have a scrunchie that will match perfectly."

Peter looked at her with mock disbelief. "Yeah. dude, make me reach behind my seat and into the trunk of the car."

Kurt clearly did not want to be part of this conflict.

Jubilee smiled sweetly at Peter. "Shut up and grab me my bag, please?"

Peter sighed half-sarcastically. "Yes ma'am."

Well, Jean's friends were just as you remember (aka slightly crazy).

You heard Jean's voice in your mind "If you don't wear that scrunchie it will genuinely hurt Jubilee's feelings, and I will never forgive you."

You looked at her through the mirror and raised your eyebrows.

Jubilee's voice took back your attention. "Here it is! Scotty, I can't reach. Can you hand this to her?"

Scott visibly winced at the nickname "Scotty" but handed you the scrunchie anyway. After trying to hide your amusement at the use of "Scotty", you attempted to put your hair up with the scrunchie, and you saw Jean smile. You were determined to make friends with these people for Jean.

"Thanks, Jubilee," You smiled at her. "So, how do I look?"

Scott chimed in immediately. "Like you're twelve."

"Ok, shut up Scott. You look cool, Y/N." Ororo gave you a thumbs up from the front seat. They were all clearly told to make friends with you by Jean in the same way you were. Well... told or threatened. Who's to say.

The car ride was awkward, to say the least. When you finally arrived at the mall and exited the car, you felt like you could finally breathe. You spoke first while you were all walking into the mall.

"So, how are we planning on killing time before Empire?"

"Well, Jubilee wanted to pick up some more eyeshadow with me, and Peter, Kurt, and Ororo are probably going to buy even more colored leather jackets," Jean said.

"Where does that leave me and your wallflower?" Scott asked Jean. You turned to look at him, attempting to make your lack of amusement clear. "What?" He shrugged, "It's true!"

"Ok, first of all, she's not actually that shy, you're just mean. Second of all, I was hoping you two could go into the book shop together until we're done."

Your eyes widened as you turned to Jean, silently begging her not to leave you and Scott alone.

"What? Why are you looking at me like I'm crazy? Maybe I thought you would try to get along because you both love me and I want you to be friends!"

Scott responded first. "You're totally guilt-tripping us right now."

"Yes!" Jean responded. "Yes I am, and you better be feeling guilty. Now, we're all going inside, and you are going into that bookstore together, you are going to bond over your cheesy dreams about falling in love, and, Scott, you are going to be kind! Or I will be very upset!"

You and Scott looked at each other (slightly afraid) before you turned to Jean and nodded your head at her.

"Ok. Let's go, Scott." You looked at him and he nodded at you both of you then started to head to the bookstore.

In the door of the shop, you glanced at him awkwardly. "So... is there a specific section you want to visit? Or-"

"Uh, I usually just... wander." He was bouncing on his heels.

"Oh! Ok, uh... where you lead I will follow!"

He spun around and started to walk aimlessly, actually trying to make conversation.

"So- you take photos?"

"...How did you know that?"

"I've seen you. That sounds creepy, I just mean that I saw you with a camera once when you walked Jean to training. It seemed nice. Only a dumbass would own a nice camera and not use it."

"How kind of you to not see me as a dumbass," you mumbled as you ran your hand across the book binds. "Do you have any hobbies?"

"Not really to be honest. Well, actually- I like... cars."

"...Cars. Huh. Elaborate."

"My brother, his name is Alex, taught me how to fix up cars when I was younger. Ooh- recently we found this beautiful 1962 AMC Rambler- I mean, it was basically a pile of garbage, but we're fixing it up."

"What's a Rambler?"

"W- 'What's a Rambler?'" He looked at you like you were speaking another language. "A 1962 AMC Rambler is only the car of my dreams!"

"The 'car of your dreams'?"

"Uh, yeah. What- do you not have a dream car?"

You laughed at him, "No? I don’t know that much about cars."

"You don’t have to know shit about cars to have a dream car! Come on, you don't have any car you would want to drive?"

"A school bus."

"...What do you mean."

"I mean- I bet I could live in a school bus. It's big, has a lot of windows, it's yellow." Scott was surprisingly easy to talk to.

"A school bus. Huh."

"I thought of that on the spot, it's not a long-term dream of mine."

"No, I see the appeal. I do think it's weird that you listed it being yellow as one of its positive attributes though."

"Holy shit. Holy shit!"

"What? What's the problem?"

You grabbed the book you spotted and held it out to him with your arms fully outstretched, it almost hit his nose. "Do you know what this is?"

Scott's hands appeared at the top of the book, and he pushed it down so you could see his confused expression. "A... book?"

"Very funny, Scotty, but no this is not just a book. This is a sequel."

He crossed his arms across his chest. "... 'Scotty'? I'm gonna kill Lee."

"Who's Lee?"

"Jubilee."

"If you can call her 'Lee' why can’t she call you 'Scotty'?"

"Because 'Scotty' makes me sound like I'm twelve!"

"Well, according to you, this scrunchie makes me look twelve. So I guess we're even, Scotty."

"I see why you and Jean are friends. You’re both evil."

"I called her evil not 10 minutes ago! Look at us, 'bonding' and all."

"Speaking of a 10 minutes ago, and that whole 'twelve' thing, I'm sorry."

"What do you mean?"

"Sorry for calling you twelve... and a wallflower. You seem... neat."

"Thanks... I think."

"Neat is a good thing."

"I'm kinda messy actually."

"I meant neat as in like- cool. Plus, you’re the first friend-ish person I've had that also wears glasses!"

You smiled at each other for a moment.

This was amusing.

He was amusing.

Unfortunately, someone popped the bubble encasing you and Scott. "Wow, 'friendish'? That's an upgrade from them low-key hating each other."

You whipped your head around to see Peter and Jean standing on the other side of the aisle, clearly having been observing and talking about you.

Scott spoke first. "How long have you two been standing there?"

"Long enough," Jean smiled. "You two get along."

"...So?" Scott asked.

"So, about an hour ago that seemed completely impossible."

An hour? That couldn’t be possible. "Wait, what time is it?"

Jean responded. "12:45, you’ve sure been chatting for a long time."

Scott cleared his throat and turned to you, "So, uh, you should buy that book, and then we should head to the movie theater room thingie."

You looked back at him. "Yeah! Ok, so... yeah."

After you and Scott walked away, Peter leaned over to whisper to Jean. "Well, that was a long glance. We've really gotta lock 'em in a closet together or something."

Jean shoved Peter, and you all went about your mall trip as you did before, except that now you might have a new friend... ish.

#tw swearing #scott summers x reader #x men #scott summers #tw eating #writer's block #am i right?#i really hope this is good #i did research on cars for this #also i know hank has glasses but him and scott aren't really friends they're more like a teacher student thing so shut up

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muninnhuginn · 2 years

Note

Ask meme- Nanami Kiryuu from RGU? 💃🏼👀

Thanks for asking! Slight disclaimer before I do this that I've not rewatched Utena in a while (aside from the shadow play episode which I rewatched a few weeks back for reasons) so I might be misremembering things a bit.

Why I like them

Her overall series arc is so good. You start with the standard perception of her as a bully, but as the series progresses you slowly realise that that’s not all there is to her in that there are reasons why she acts out as she does. And that those reasons tie into a lot of the other themes in the series (the most obvious one being the cycle of abuse* but that’s not the only one). And she does start to improve somewhat. I’m not sure I’d say that by the end of the series she’s fully completed her character development, but she’s definitely made progress? (Nanami has what Miraculous fans wish Chloe got though)

*There was actually a fanart piece I came across recently which summed that part up visually really well. I was holding off on reblogging it for spoiler reasons but it should be safe to reblog now so I’ll probably do so after this post.

Why I don’t

The cow and egg episodes. I get (mostly) what they're trying to do with her there but there are some parts of it where I'm cringing so badly that I'm just there like "pls no I can't watch".

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

Not exactly a specific ep but across a few but the stuff near the end where she's staying with Anthy and Utena and gets forced to re-examine her relationship with Touga is definitely my favourite arc for her character.

And if I had to pick a scene, I think the "there's an x in Anthy's pencil case" gag. Both because it gets funnier as it escalates and also because it actually shows how insecure Nanami is that she thinks being "weird" is reason to be mocked by friends.

Favorite season/movie

N/A

Favorite line

N/A

Favorite outfit

Her usual yellow uniform tbh. I don't even like bright yellow particularly but it's so ingrained with my idea of her that it seems weird for her to be in anything else.

OTP

I don't actually have one for her, you know? I more have a list of NOTPs in terms of "please keep her brother well away from her thanks" and overall am uh not sure she's in a super position to start a healthy romantic relationship.

Brotp

I like some of the little bits with her and Miki and Juri. They can be pretty cute, especially near the end of the series.

Head Canon

I'm not sure how canon canon this is but I was pretty convinced by some of the arguments I've seen thrown about that Nanami's entire thing with her brother is basically down to comphet? She thinks that her brother is safe as a target because he would never return her 'feelings' and that adds to the disorientation when she finds out about the blood types*.

*Though I do think the main factor with the blood relation thing is more about whether Touga is only tied to her through obligation and if that didn't exist, would he still care for her? And all of Nanami’s other “friendships” are largely superficial and centred around other topics not around actually liking each other, so of course that adds to the depth of obsession she has with her one “proper” personal connection at the start of the show. (And the superficial friendships also connects to how she was so sure that Anthy would be ostracised for being “weird” because she’s likely projecting to some extent)

Unpopular opinion

Not sure if unpopular but part of why I like Nanami is because as you find out more about her she becomes obviously more complex. However, the dress thing with Anthy early on becomes retrospectively a lot worse once we find out what Anthy is remembering at that time. And I don't really see much of those who *do* like Nanami really addressing how messed up that in particular is? Like, obviously Nanami wouldn't have realised she was stepping on a specific trauma, but the dress thing was incredibly messed up regardless.

A wish

For her to continue down the path she’s going as of the end of the series and to break free 😔.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

Falling back into the pattern with Touga. I feel like at the end of the series she has actually made progress on this because the pedestal is broken so her returning or reverting to the unabashed worship would be so yikes to me.

5 words to best describe them

Insecure bully dressed in yellow

My nickname for them

I don't have one for her in general, but have recently come across "Cownami" for her in the cow episode which amuses me.

#pinkie-satan #subtext the anime #kiryuu nanami #ask meme #revolutionary girl utena

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songsoomin · 3 years

Text

Begin Again Part 3 (A, S, F)

Word count 7k

Idol!Jongho x Fem!Reader, Best friend!Hongjoong. Reader has serious body confidence issues due to an emotionally abusive past relationship but Jongho helps her recover. Y/N is struggling with the anxiety of being intimate due to feeling exposed because she still can’t imagine anyone finding her physically attractive.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, both emotional and psychological, body shaming, anxiety issues. Oral sex (m and f receiving), unprotected sex but reader is on oral contraception, very slight mention of manhandling and strength kink. Smut from the very beginning. In fact, most of this chapter is about Jongho and Y/N’s first time together.

Authour’s note: Reader is overweight but not as massive as she thinks she is. She has been conditioned through psychological abuse to believe she is very fat and unattractive. This is not intended to be the kind of story where reader becomes thin and is then happy and gets male attention (although, due to reader’s warped sense of self she does equate being thin with being happy). Even after losing some weight (for her own health and happiness) she is still somewhat overweight and curvy but the more important part is that she gets her confidence back and that is what makes her happier and more attractive.

Part 1 Part 2

Posted 9th February 2021

Soft moans left you as Jongho kissed your neck, biting lightly then swiping his tongue over the delicate skin where he'd just bitten. You were laying on his bed where you had been watching a film until Jongho's gentle touches turned into something more.

It had been months now since you had officially begun dating, after that night at the club. At the coffee shop you'd almost convinced yourself that he probably confessed because he'd been drinking but he promised to convince you otherwise, having seen the doubt on your face. You'd gone to bed that night hoping you were wrong and, true to his word, Jongho turned up at your apartment the next day for a real date.

Despite it having been months - and Jongho being the most amazing boyfriend - you'd not gone much further than kissing. Sometimes he would touch your chest over your clothes but you were still too insecure to be undressed in front of him. It wasn't that you didn't want to go further because you really, really did. Jongho's lips drove you crazy but something in your head just wasn't letting you progress in your relationship.

You sighed, frustrated, and Jongho pulled away to look at you.

"Y/N...it's fine. I told you I'll wait as long as you need. You don't need to rush this if you're not ready."

"I'm sorry, Jongho, you know I want to...I just...I can't get past this insecurity. It's like my brain can't accept that you'll still like me once you see me with my clothes off. I still can't see why you like me even with them on."

Your boyfriend looked at you sadly, his shoulders dropping slightly. It hurt him how you still thought of yourself.

"Y/N, you are so beautiful and one day I'm going to show you just how beautiful I think you are."

Despite him saying this kind of thing to you often, he could see that the message still wasn't getting through and wondered if there was something else bothering you.

"You know you're safe with me, right?" He said seriously.

"Of course, I do! It's not that."

Jongho was nothing like your ex but the damage he'd done meant that you were still having trouble trusting your new boyfriend. You trusted him to treat you well and be the wonderful person that he was...you just didn't trust that he'd still want you once you were naked in front of him. You genuinely worried that once he saw you like that he'd be disgusted and change his mind.

"Why don't we wind back the film and catch up on what we missed?" Jongho suggested.

He could see you were deep in thought but it didn't look like you were going to elaborate on your reply.

"Okay."

You gave him a small smile but it didn't reach your eyes. You watched the film distractedly, too busy hating yourself for not being able to move on from your past and feeling like a massive let down to Jongho.

********

Some weeks later you were in the same situation except in your apartment now, Jongho on your comfy sofa with you sitting on his lap, facing him. When he first asked you'd resisted, sure your weight would make him too uncomfortable but when you voiced your concerns he'd cheekily replied with a wink,

"There's only one place you're making me uncomfortable."

Now you were straddling his lap you loved it. You could feel his strong thighs beneath you and his large hands on your hips. Your boyfriend's tongue explored your mouth once again and every now and then he would nibble on your bottom lip, eliciting quiet moans from you.

As he moved his lips along your jawline and down the soft skin of your neck, you started to feel that familiar tingling in your core and couldn't help but to grind against his crotch. His jeans were tight against the large bulge there and you smiled to yourself thinking back to his comment about you making him uncomfortable. You continued to grind against him and a louder moan slipped past your lips at the friction you felt.

Jongho took this as a positive sign and slowly moved his hands underneath the floaty top you were wearing. He always moved slowly so he could guage your reaction before going too far for you. You froze before quickly gathering yourself and pulling your top back down - the dark blonde man's hands already gone having felt you tense up.

Looking away from him you mumbled the apology you'd become used to giving and earning the usual sad look from Jongho because he kept telling you, you don't have to apologise for how you feel. Gently he moved you off his lap and onto the seat next to him but took your hands in his.

"Y/N...I'm not trying to rush you, I just really want to show you how beautiful I think you are...and how much I want you."

He sounded so sincere it made you feel even worse. You didn't want him to feel bad when he'd done nothing wrong.

"I know and I'm sorry. You're not making me feel pressured at all and I do want to do this but I can't get over the fear that you won't want me once you really see me."

"What do you mean?"

A confused look crossed Jongho's face as he waited for you to elaborate. You thought for a moment, trying to frame the words.

"Well...once you see what I look like underneath all this..." you said feebly gesturing to your clothes, "you won't want me anymore. I'll disgust you."

Jongho managed to look both astonished and incredulous at the same time.

"That's really what you think? That I'm so shallow I'd change my mind over your appearance?"

You looked away because the look he gave you now just made you feel ashamed.

"Haven't I told you enough times how beautiful I think you are?"

"I know I look better now I've lost some weight but - "

He let go of your hands suddenly and you felt the weight of your mistake in his absence.

"Don't you dare imply I only like you because you lost weight!"

He'd never got upset with you before but the hurt and anger in his voice was unmistakable.

You looked up cautiously not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes.

"The first time I saw you I thought you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen - that's why I was so shy around you. I couldn't have cared less what size you were. When you mentioned losing weight I saw that as my chance to get to know you alone. I didn't think you needed to change, I just wanted to spend time with you."

"Jongho, I - "

"You know, I don't have any problem waiting until you're ready and feel comfortable but what really hurts is that you think I could be anything like him."

The disdain in Jongho's tone as he mentioned your emotionally abusive ex was so obvious it made the vast difference between them strike you even more. They were polar opposites so why were you treating Jongho like he could be similar in any way? You sat, quietly ashamed while he continued.

"I think you look amazing but you are so much more to me than what you look like. How could you think I'd only care about that? Is that the kind of person you think I am?"

You looked up at your boyfriend without an answer. It was impossible to escape that you'd really hurt him but you didn't know how to make it better. You'd let your insecurities cloud your mind to the kind of man he was. It was him who was amazing and you'd made him feel like you didn't trust him at all.

"I'm sorry, Jongho...I just..."

You didn't have any other words so you just looked down at your hands while you wrung them unconsciously.

"I know your past treatment has really damaged how you feel about yourself...but I thought you knew I was better than that."

He paused just long enough to collect his keys and wallet before adding,

"I'm going to head home. I'll see you later."

You felt helpless to stop him as he walked out the door and quietly shut it behind him. The fact he'd shut it quietly was more like a slap in the face than if he'd slammed it - it showed how much more hurt he was than angry.

Tears bagan falling down your face as you sat motionless on the sofa. Jongho was so patient and understanding and you'd just stomped all over that. It was enough that your past was still hurting you; you couldn't allow it to hurt him, too.

********

"Joong?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't know what to do."

"About what?"

It was Friday night, your weekly movie night with Hongjoong and your bright red-haired best friend was sitting beside you on the couch engrossed in the film you were supposed to be watching but you were having trouble concentrating. All you could think of was the last time you'd seen Jongho and how hurt he'd looked.

"I really hurt Jongho and I don't know how to make it better. Has he said anything to you."

"No, he doesn't really confide in any of us about personal stuff. What happened?"

You cleared your throat as Hongjoong looked at you, expectant.

"Well, we haven't been...intimate yet..."

You trailed off as the male's eyes widened slightly as he realised where the conversation was going. You looked away, somewhat embarrassed. You'd talked to Joong about sex before but not about your own sex-life - or lack-thereof.

"Oh. Right. Well, now I think about it I know you guys weren't doing anything at the dorm but I guess I just assumed you were doing it here at your place. Not that I really thought about it."

He quickly added the last part and you laughed despite your unease.

"Can I ask what that has to do with hurting him?"

You shifted uncomfortably because you knew it was unfair to have let your past affect how you thought of Jongho and you didn't want Hongjoong to judge you.

"It's not that I think he'd be nasty or anything...I'm just so scared that he won't feel the same about me once he sees me...naked."

Hongjoong fixed you with a look that somehow managed to both sympathise and disapprove at the same time.

"Y/N, Jongho isn't like that. You know he's not."

You looked down at your hands, feeling a bit ashamed of yourself.

"I do know but I can't seem to let go of the fear that he'll realise I'm not good enough."

You best friend sighed and put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you to his side.

"I do understand why you can't; your ex spent everyday making you feel worthless. But..." He shifted so he was looking you in the eye,

"I don't think you'll ever overcome it until you take that leap. Until you do it and see that you were worrying for nothing, that fear will just eat away at you. You've made so much progress with your confidence lately so I know you can do this."

"Believe me I want to." You said earnestly. "He's so fucking hot I just want to -"

"Hey!" Hongjoong startled you with a shout, "I do not want to know what you want to do to him. He's like my baby brother, I can't think of him doing that shit."

"Ah, yeah. Sorry."

"Seriously, though, Jongho really likes you and I can't imagine anything will change his mind. He doesn't vocalise his emotions much but I've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks we can't see. He adores you. He has done since he first saw you."

You were resolved now. He was right, it would never get better if you didn't take a chance. You were supposed to be seeing Jongho tomorrow night so you wouldn't have long to wait.

"You're right, Joong. Thank you. I'm just going to have to go for it."

"Well, look at it this way...if you saw Jongho naked and he's not...uh...as big as you imagined, would it change how you felt about him?"

You rolled your eyes.

"Of course not. To be honest, though," You lowered your voice slightly, "from what I've felt I don't think that will be a prob-"

"Stop it!" Hongjoong looked horrified but you couldn't help but laugh.

"Sorry, Joong. You did bring it up though."

********

The next day you decided to do everything you could to make yourself feel attractive and desirable; you waxed, shaved your legs, put on your best perfume and make up. When it came to clothes you didn't go all out as it was just a night in with Jongho but, earlier that day, you did spend some time shopping for a new matching bra and panties set. You didn't want to go slutty (yet) as it was going to be your first time with him but you still wanted it to be sexy. In the end you went for a pink with sexy lace detailing and cute, little bows. You weren't really sure what Jongho liked yet but you thought a bit of sexy and bit of cute would cover all bases.

You'd probably overthought all of it because you knew Jongho wasn't like your ex and he wouldn't be cruel but, in the back of your mind, you still had that fear that you would disgust him. It's what you'd come to think anyone would feel upon seeing you like that. You knew he was entitled to be upset with you when you voiced those fears to him, though, because it implied he was shallow. Thinking that he might care more about what size you were belittled his feelings for you.

You knew those feelings were there in everything he did. Hongjoong was right, Jongho didn't voice his emotions much but you could see how he felt about you in how caring he was. Often asking if you're feeling ok, making sure you're happy, making you laugh. He wasn't one for a lot of physical affection but he'd always wind his arm around you when out walking. If you were just watching tv he'd hold your hand or pull you in to his side. He seemed especially aware of when you were anxious like he was attuned to your emotions. He wasn't obvious about it but he would just take your hand and rub soothing circles over your skin with his thumb until you felt calmer.

When you really thought about just what an amazing boyfriend Jongho was, you could hardly believe you let your fear of rejection marr your relationship with him. You had to overcome it, though, because Jongho was just too precious to lose. You hadn't fully acknowledged it yet but you knew you were in love with him. Hopefully he felt the same about you.

The evening came and you and Jongho were watching a Netflix show you'd recently gotten in to, however, he could see that you weren't really concentrating. Observant of you, as always, he noticed your fidgeting hands and took them in his to calm you.

"What's wrong, Baby?"

What were you to say? 'I want to fuck you tonight but I'm not sure how to start things off’? You were never the one to start anything physical between the two of you, given that the nasty part of your brain loved to remind you that you might not be wanted.

"Nothing...I just wanted to do something but I'm not sure how to start."

That was a lie, really. You knew what to do, you just weren't sure how to summon up the courage.

A confused look flashed across your boyfriend's face at your very vague statement.

"What did you want to do?"

Summoning your courage you leant forward and pressed your lips to his. You felt his surprise for a second as he was always the initiator but it was only for a second - he eagerly returned the kiss from there on.

Jongho parted his lips slightly and swiped his tongue across your lower lip - an indication that he wanted to deepen it, to which you more than happily obliged.

As your tongues swirled around each other's you shifted on the couch to straddle his lap, just resting on his strong, thick thighs. This was another thing you'd never done, too worried your weight would be uncomfortable for him but you imagined if he was, he would let you know but he gave no sign of that. On the contrary, he seemed all too pleased to have you there, his hands grabbing your hips and pulling you further down into him.

As you continued to kiss you could feel the bulge in his jeans growing and gave an experimental thrust of your hips, earning a low moan from the man beneath you.

"Mmm, Baby what's gotten into you tonight?"

The way he looked up at you, his dark eyes curious but full of desire stirred a long-buried confidence from within you, resurrecting your dirtier side.

"Nothing...but I know what I'd like in me."

The best word to describe the look on Jongho's face was dumbstruck. This was absolutely not the kind of thing he expected to hear coming out of your mouth and, after taking a few seconds to recover, he cleared his throat.

"Y/N, are you sure you want to do this? You know I don't mind waiting until you're ready."

"I don't want to wait anymore. I want you."

Just then a horrible thought struck you - courtesy of the nasty part of your brain. What if he didn't mind waiting because he didn't like you that much?

"Unless you don't want to, of course."

Jongho rolled his eyes.

"Baby, I want to. So much. Just because I'm willing to wait until you're comfortable doesn't mean I'm not desperate to fuck you."

"Really?"

"You have no idea how much."

Feeling elated, you kissed him feverishly, your confidence renewed by his words. He returned the kiss just as enthusiastically, slipping his tongue in and making you go weak, like always.

You began grinding your hips against his clothed cock once more and Jongho moved his lips from your mouth to your neck, kissing along your smooth skin towards your shoulder, moving the fabric of your flimsy top and your bra strap aside when it got in his way. Both of you were getting pretty worked up at this point so he pulled away to whisper in your ear,

"Let's go into the bedroom."

A thrill of excitement ran through you at the meaning behind those words because, despite your insecurities about your body, you had fantasised about fucking Jongho for months now.

He led you into your bedroom by your hand - he hadn't been in here before as you'd never got to this point but, despite having not seen it, he didn't waste time looking around the room; his attention was solely on you as he headed straight for the bed. He sat you down on the side of your big bed and gently pushed you back - you got the hint and shuffled into the middle of your big bed with him following. You laid down and Jongho settled beside you, propping himself up on one arm and looking down at you, his eyes searched your face one last time for any signs you weren't sure about this. It wasn't your first time but it was your first time with him and the first time with anyone since your confidence and self-worth had become so damaged.

"Remember...if at any point you don't feel comfortable or change your mind...tell me and we can stop."

You placed your hands on either side of his face and smiled up at him - he was always thinking about you over himself. You didn't know how you'd got this lucky.

"I might not feel comfortable with myself but I am with you. I won't want to stop." You told him confidently and it was true; you knew he was going to look after you.

You pulled him down towards you so you could kiss him again - it had only been minutes since you last kissed but you needed his lips on yours again.

Jongho's soft lips pressed against yours gently at first but became more demanding as time went on and you kissed him back with just as much enthusiasm. The way your tongues swirled around each other felt somehow different this time - maybe because you both knew it was leading to more this time. Sometimes when you were kissing Jongho you felt you were both a bit reserved about it because you knew it wouldn't lead anywhere so why get yourselves that worked up? This time there was more passion, more desperation; you both wanted this so much. He wasn't rushing, though, he was taking his time and allowing you to feel comfortable before moving on to the next step.

Your boyfriend's lips left yours to travel down to your neck, kissing and sucking your delicate skin while you got your breath back from the long kissing session. While he did this, the hand that he had on the side of your neck slowly moved down your chest and under the flimsy top you wore. You couldn't help but tense up and he paused his hand's movement but you put your hand on top of his and moved it upwards, urging him to continue. As anxious as you were, you wanted him to carry on...to feel his hands on your body.

Jongho's fingers lightly ghosted over the part of your breast that wasn't covered by your bra and just this simple touch was enough to start the excitement building in you. You wanted more, you wanted to be free for him to touch your chest so you did the bravest thing you'd done in ages, you sat up and lifted your top right up over your head, throwing it somewhere on the floor. You felt exposed but Jongho smiled at you appreciatively. You didn't know but this reassured him in a big way. He was worried that, as he was always the one to initiate anything between you, he was pushing you forward quicker than you'd like but this small action let him know you wanted this, too, and that you trusted him to be exposed in front of him like this.

More confident now, the dark blonde straddled you on the bed and returned to kissing your neck, switching between soft kisses and licks to biting and sucking - wanting to mark you so everyone could see you were his. As he marked the sensitive skin between your neck and shoulder a moan slipped past you at the sensation and you bit your hand to try and stifle it, embarrased at how easy it was for him to affect you like that.

"Don't." He said, gently pulling your hand away from your mouth, "I want to hear you. I want to hear how I'm making you feel."

You nodded and he went back to kissing you, slipping your bra straps off and moving down your chest, stopping to mark the top of one breast before reaching his hands behind to undo the clasp and removing the pretty bra completely. Instinctively your hands flew up to cover yourself but Jongho was quicker, grabbing your wrists and pinning them on each side of your head.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked with a small smile on his face. "I want to be able to see my beautiful girlfriend's body."

You couldn't deny him, not when he was looking at you so sincerely. Like he really did think you were something worth looking at.

"I'm going to let go of you now and you are not going to cover yourself up." The authoritative tone in his voice only added to your arousal but he really made you shiver when he brought one of your hands up to his head and said lowly,

"If you really need to do something with your hands you can play with my hair. I like it."

Your fingers trailed through Jongho's soft hair as he leaned down and brushed his lips against your breast...almost at your nipple but just teasing around it. Next he placed a kiss on the hardened bud, softly but just enough to excite you and have your core clenching around nothing. When he finally latched on to your nipple and sucked hard a thrill shot straight to your core and you pulled on his hair, earning a low groan from him.

He continued sucking and nibbling while he pinched and twisted your other nipple, switching sides every now and then and really working you up. If he was trying to excite you so much that you started to forget about your insecurities, then it was working. You didn't even tense up as he began to kiss down your stomach, undoing your jeans as he went. It would be a lie to say your worries weren't still in the back of your mind but Jongho was making you feel so good, kissing everywhere - even the areas you thought were too big - like he wanted to love every single part of you.

Your head snapped up when he stopped and got up - anxieties all ready to bubble up to the surface - but he just smiled at you from the end of the bed as he pulled your jeans completely off and said,

"Don't worry, Baby...my mouth will be right back in a second."

You giggled and relaxed back as he discarded your jeans, watching him crawl back up the bed to you before kissing you passionately. You felt his gentle fingers stroke your folds over your panties and had a brief moment of embarassment upon realising he must be able to feel the dampness from how excited he'd already made you. It was only a brief moment, though, because the overriding feeling was an absolute desire for him to stop being gentle and slide his long fingers inside you already. There was no way he didn't know this because you began to squirm slightly and bring your legs together in an effort to get a little friction at least.

"Are you that impatient?" He whispered in your ear, his hot breath fanning over your skin.

"I want you." You whimpered shyly; aware that he held all the power in this scenario but not minding one bit. If you had to define your temperament in bed, you would definitely be on the subby side.

"You can have whatever you want." He laughed affectionately, nibbling your earlobe before moving down to where you wanted him most.

Jongho slowly started to slide your damp panties down your legs and you felt like you just might explode. You were now wondering if he wasn't just going slow to make you feel more comfortable but instead wanted you to die from sexual frustration. You watched him impatiently as he finally took them off completely and he smirked. He was definitely teasing you and enjoying every minute of it.

His strong hands gripped your knees and parted your legs before positioning himself in between them but he wasn't done teasing yet. His soft lips ghosted over the delicate skin of your inner thighs right up to where they met your pussy. You could feel his breath tickle your folds as he hesitated, just admiring you and you whined loudly, partly because you felt too much on display but mostly because you needed some relief right now.

"Jongho!"

"Okay, okay. I'll stop teasing. Every single part of you is just so beautiful, even your pretty little pussy. I could just look at it all day"

You moaned again at his words and he dove straight in like he'd been waiting forever to do this, his hot tongue parting your wet folds and licking straight up from your core to your clit as his hands found their way around your thighs to pull you closer to him.

The moan that left you when his tongue finally touched you there was loud and erotic because he'd worked you up so much you'd become desperate for it - your clit so sensitive from anticipation that you imagined you'd cum embarrasingly quickly. In response to your obscene noises you felt the vibration of Jongho's low groan run through you - only adding to the sensations his tongue was providing.

As he lapped at your clit you couldn't help but grab his hair tightly, trying not to pull too hard but failing. He didn't seem to mind, though, he was getting more turned on by it if the grinding of his hips into the bed beneath him was anything to go by. Desperate for more you pulled him further in to you by his hair and he somehow knew what you wanted; he closed his lips around your clit and sucked hard. Another porn star-like moan escaped you; no one had ever made you feel quite this good before. He was almost taking your breath away with ther sheer pleasure his mouth was giving you.

Jongho's fingers dug in to your thighs as he pulled you impossibly close and alternated between licking and sucking but it was when he started to nibble at your clit that you came hard and loud, the waves of your orgasm flooding over you and drowning you in more pleasure than you'd ever felt before. It seemed to last forever as the dark blonde didn't stop, still lightly sucking to keep your high going. It wasn't until your legs were shaking and you were whimpering from overstimulation that he finally let go - not before a couple of kitten licks to your now unbearably sensitive bud.

Jongho crawled up the bed and reclined next to you, leaning on his elbow so he could look down at your blissfully fucked-out expression. He cupped your face with his hand and kissed your lips; you were still a little dazed but you enthusiastically kissed him back. His hand trailed to your breast, using his thumb to stroke your hard nipple and you squirmed a little as the feeling went straight back to your swollen clit. It was both excrutiating and incredibly pleasurable but too much for you to bear right now so you reluctantly took his hand and interlocked your fingers while you kissed instead.

Of course, he knew what you were doing and the smug look on his face confirmed that.

"Was it too much?" He inquired with fake innocence.

You shook your head and closed your eyes, still a little out of breath and he giggled at your still dazed state.

You laid quietly for a few moments, your boyfriend's hands stroking your skin, before deciding it was his turn. You got up and pulled on his shirt, indicating you wanted it off, he quickly complied and, once free of the clothing, you pushed him so he was laying flat on the bed. Straddling him you kissed his soft lips first, noting there was still a faint trace of you on them, before giving a little kitten lick to his top lip and moving down to his neck. As you kissed the skin around his collarbone he moaned lowly - clearly he enjoyed being kissed there as much as you did.

The noises coming from Jongho seemed to increase as you made your way down his toned chest and abs, running your warm hands over his smooth skin as you went. His body was so beautiful but, for once, you didn't feel inferior. The way he had treated you so far made you feel adored and even now, naked and exposed, he looked at you so appreciatively. The only thing you were feeling right now was amazement that someone this perfect could be yours.

As you reached the line of soft hair that went down from his belly button and disappeared into his jeans you felt excited to see what was underneath. You had a good idea that he was on the bigger side from the bulge you'd seen after some heated kissing sessions but you couldn't wait to see it for real so you started to unbutton his jeans. Jongho leaned up on his elbows, watching with anticipation as you unzipped him and took the waistband of his jeans and boxers in your hands. You looked up at him as you pulled them down, taking in his wide eyes and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Part of you wanted to pay him back for the teasing while another wanted to draw out this moment of anticipation so you pulled down his clothing slowly, glancing up once or twice to see the slightly frustrated look cross his features. You smiled to yourself as you continued but the smile soon fell from your lips as you finally saw what Jongho had been hiding.

You felt your eyes widen as the smile dropped, your lips now open in awe. You knew he was going to be big but...fuck. Jongho wasn't just long, he was wide, too.

"Y/N?" His deep voice pulled you from your thoughts.

"Oh...uh...yeah?"

"You like what you're seeing?" He asked, looking more than a little smug.

"Yeah...but..."

"But what?" He teased.

"I just didn't expect you to be quite this...big."

Jongho giggled at your flustered expression. "You worried you're not gonna be able to take it all?" He said cockily.

"Oh no, I'm having it all." Your awe had faded and now you were getting excited again; you were desperate to see how he felt inside you.

Jongho groaned at your words and shimmied his jeans and boxers down past his hips while you took his length in your hand and slowly started to stroke up and down. He watched your hand moving as you gazed at him, not breaking eye contact as you lowered your head and gave his most sensitive spot a little lick. He groaned as you enveloped the head of his cock with your mouth, having to open wide to get it all in, then closed his eyes and threw his head back as you started to bob up and down.

His hands found their way to the back of your head - not pushing, just holding on as your head moved, intertwining his fingers with your hair. You could feel when he was getting more excited because his hand in your hair started to hold tighter, although it seemed like he was holding back slightly, trying not to hurt you.

You pulled off his dick, turning your attention to that most sensitive spot on the underside just under the head, flicking your tongue over it again and again. His hand in your hair shook slightly and he couldn't help but grab even tighter - you smiled and looked up at him teasingly. He almost growled but, surprisingly, pulled you off him completely. You didn't have time for your surprise to turn to worry, though, as he quickly said,

"If you carry on like that I'm gonna cum."

"That was sort of the point." You retorted playfully.

"I don't want to cum in your mouth just yet. Besides, tonight is for me to make you feel good and...show you how much I love you."

You heard the words but they didn't register fully as you were too busy worrying about him.

"But I want you to feel good, as well."

"Oh, I will," He replied confidently, "but I want to fuck you now and make you cum some more."

A shiver ran down your spine at his commanding tone. How could you refuse that kind of offer?

Jongho gently pushed you down so you were laying on your back, looking up at him in anticipation, the excitement was building inside you again. His strong hands spread your legs then placed himself in between them; he was looking at your pussy hungrily as it clenched around nothing but desperately wanting something to fill it. He leant forward and held himself over you with one hand while, with the other, he lightly started to stroke your wet folds with his fingertips. A shaky sigh left your lips and you closed your eyes, a little frustrated as your boyfriend seemed to be a master at teasing. You couldn't decide if you loved it or hated it because it drew the moment out and you knew it would feel a hundred times better once he finally entered you but god did you want his cock right now.

You opened your eyes again to see Jongho smirking down at you while he continued to stroke your folds - he was clearly loving the effect he had on you. You looked up at him with pleading eyes and he giggled but gave in to your unspoken request by sliding two fingers into your aching hole and curling them upwards to press on your sweet spot. You moaned loudly from the sudden relief - you were right...the teasing made it all the more rewarding now that he was touching you.

Your dark blonde boyfriend lowered his lips to yours and kissed you passionately, his tongue dancing with yours as you let him dominate the kiss. He pulled back slightly and sucked your bottom lip before gently nibbling it then pulling away completely. You chased after his lips, not wanting it to end so he gave in and kissed you some more, still sliding his fingers in and out of your wet hole.

When he pulled away again you let him because you knew there was much better to come and you wanted more than just his fingers inside you. Jongho knelt between your legs and replaced his fingers with his achingly hard member, sliding it up and down between your folds and collecting your juices to lubricate himself before lining up with your heated core. As he pushed his length inside you, you both groaned in unison. You could feel him going deeper and stretching your walls out as they hugged his cock tightly - you'd never been with anyone that big before and it felt exquisite.

"Shit, you're so tight." Jongho growled as he bottomed out in you.

"Maybe you're just - aah! - too big." You said playfully as he found your sweet spot again.

Now that he'd found the right spot, Jongho continued to thrust, hitting it every time. It was overwhelming and you could feel the tension building in you causing you to keep clenching around his cock even tighter. As he picked up his pace even more, Jongho grabbed your hips so he could fuck into you harder. He was gripping you so tight you imagined the bruises that would be there in the morning and it caused your orgasm to approach even faster - you'd always had a bit of a kink for being manhandled.

Soon enough the high crashed over you and you cried out wantonly while Jongho did his best to keep going but your walls were holding him so tight now he could barely move.

"Fuck, Y/N, you feel so good around my cock."

As your high ebbed away and you relaxed a little, Jongho began to fuck you again. Now your pussy was hyper sensitive you could feel every ridge and vein as he thrusted in and out and the lewd squelching noises of him fucking your own cum back into you. His harsh movements were causing your breasts to bounce and you had a tiny moment of embarrassment. You moved your arms to cover yourself again but instantly Jongho's strong hands grabbed your wrists and pinned them on either side of your head.

"I told you I wanna see you while I fuck you. Your tits look so beautiful bouncing as I slam my cock into you."

As if to confirm how much he liked it he bent his head down and took one of your hardened nipples into his mouth and sucked hard. It felt so good you forgot all about being embarrassed and Jongho pinning you down while he fucked you was a bigger turn-on than you'd imagined. You hadn't told him but you loved how strong he was.

You could feel he was getting close to cumming by the way his hips began to stutter and his dick twitching inside you. You knew what you wanted but weren't sure if he wanted the same.

In a small voice you whispered, "Will you cum inside me?"

"God...I've been waiting so long for this. It was torture not being able to fuck you."

You took that as a yes.

Jongho's grunt increased as he neared and with a few more sloppy thrusts he came inside you, covering your tight walls in his creamy, white release.

He stayed inside you for a while, just getting his breath back. You gazed up at him wondering how he could be even hotter now that his hair was slightly sticking to his forehead with sweat.

Your boyfriend slowly pulled out of you and laid down beside you, drawing you into a hug and gently stroking your hair. It was quiet for a few minutes while you just enjoyed the sensation of being naked in his arms with nothing between you. Something was also playing on your mind, now that you remembered the words he spoke earlier but that you'd been to distracted to register at the time. After some time thinking you decided to just ask him.

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" He asked, bending his head down to kiss your hair.

"You said you wanted to show me how much you love me." Your voice was almost a whisper as the fear of being wrong gripped you but without a second's hesitation he replied,

"Of course I did. I love you. I know I haven't said it before tonight but it seemed like a good time to tell you."

You looked up at him, gazing back down at you with the most sincerity you'd ever seen in his beautiful, dark eyes.

"I love you, too, Jongho. I think I have done for months now."

"You are the most beautiful person in the world to me - inside and out. Don't ever forget that."

"How did I get so lucky to have you?"

"I am perfect, aren't I?" He joked. You rolled your eyes and playfully swatted at him.

"If you want to," he said, more serious now, "you can have me forever."

"Deal." You replied, snuggling back into his strong embrace.

#ateez #ateez x female reader #ateez jongho #atzinc #choi jongho x female reader #Ateez choi Jongho #Choi Jongho smut #Ateez smut #Ateez Jongho smut #Body positivity #Ateez angst #Jongho angst

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your-daily-biaswrecking · 4 years

Text

Attention and Care

pairing: Jimin x female reader

genre: angst, fluff, established relationship au

word count: 2.8k | reading time: 14 min

warnings: none

summary: Jimin must be the only person in the world who complains about his girlfriend not complaining... When Amy doesn't pester him to come home early (like the rest of the members) he starts thinking she might not care for him as much.

A/N: Amy=y/n basically, she’s the reader, I just wanted to use a name instead of y/n. It comes from Army! This is the first fic I write on here. I will post more soon and probably create a masterlist after I have a few. Also, there could be a smutty part 2 if you guys like this one!

Masterlist | Read on AO3

Yoongi's phone vibrated on the table. The screen lit up and illuminated his face as he peeked over it. The rest of the boys groaned.

"Is it your girl?" Hoseok asked with his mouth full. "Are you going to leave already?"

"No, that's not it…" Yoongi mumbled, picking up his chopsticks again and going for the barbequed ribs at the center of the table.

"Ah, hyung. We don't even get to eat all together anymore," Jungkook complained. "Don't go yet."

"What are you even talking about, we're together all the time. We work all day."

"Yes, but we don't eat like this. You all go back to your girlfriends or whatever," the youngest continued, pouting.

"Well, what did you expect?" Jimin laughed, covering his mouth with his unoccupied hand. "We want to spend time with the people we love, too."

Jin waved his hands around. "Ah, leave him. He's just sulky 'cause he's still single." Immediately, he let out a short, high-pitched scream when Jungkook punched him on his side. As the two continued arguing, Yoongi's phone vibrated again. This time he picked it up and read through his texts, and before he could even reply to his girlfriend, the members spoke up again.

"She's really impatient, isn't she?" Hoseok joked.

"Does she miss you so much? Are you going to go to her?" Taehyung added.

"Honestly, it's getting somewhat late. I'll leave in a bit too." Namjoon seemed to take his hyung's side, although in reality, he knew someone was waiting for him, too.

"Ah… sorry guys," Yoongi said and got up, eyes still glued to his phone. "I'll leave first."

There were a couple of sighs and complains, but he didn't stay long enough to listen to them. He grabbed his coat and was out of the room. It wasn't like they weren't used to this, anyway. Every time they decided to hang out like this, someone would bail or call it an early night for the sake of spending time with their partners. Whether it was Yoongi the one to go first, or Hoseok, or Namjoon, once someone broke the group, the others seemed to disappear very easily.

"Oh, come on, Jimin," Taehyung looked at his best friend with sympathetic eyes. "You know how it is- she'll start getting jealous and be moody if I stay here too late. She hasn't seen me all day, you understand that, right?" He talked while he put on his coat.

"Neither has my girlfriend, but it's not like she'll make a scene because I'm out having dinner with my friends," Jimin replied.

Tae glanced at him one last time. "Well, what can I say? You have a very cool girlfriend. Goodnight!" he called and left.

"Yeah right!" Jungkook scoffed. "He's only using his girl as an excuse. I know he really just wants to go see her instead of stay here."

Jimin looked down at his mostly empty plate. He took a deep breath as he played with the leftovers, pushing them around in circles. "I don't know…" he mumbled. He quietly took his phone out of his pocket, under the table. It was 10:13 pm and there were only three of them left. And he had no texts, no missed calls. He put his phone back in his pocket and looked at the boys again. "You see how they always get calls and stuff? Maybe they really are waiting for them at home. What if they get in trouble?"

"For what? Having a late dinner with their members? It's not like we're hanging out with other women, anyway."

Jin suddenly stood up, earning a death stare from the maknae. "I'm leaving too. I promised I'd be back by 10, I don't want her to worry, you know?"

Jungkook didn't even protest. He just looked at the only other member left there with a defeated look in his eyes. "Jimin…" he sighed. "You're the only one who doesn't dump me. Even though you're in a relationship, you still find time for me. I appreciate that."

The older boy bit his bottom lip aggressively. He rolled his eyes and went back to playing with his food. "Sure. I have a girlfriend, that doesn't mean I'll stop hanging out with you," he said sounding almost angry. Jungkook just thought he shared his frustration.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed, stuffing his mouth with whatever meat was left on the table. Jimin eyed him, momentarily wondering how he could still be eating. He took out his phone again, just enough to check the screen, and sighed when there was nothing new.

"You really do have the coolest girlfriend, hyung," the boy spoke after he swallowed. "She never complains, right? I like Amy. Should I just come over to hang out with you two after this? Since everyone else left?"

His eyes widened at that and he whipped his head to the side. "No!" he said before he had come up with an excuse as to why. "Uh… well... I'm really tired today, Jungkookie." He lowered his voice and started rubbing the back of his neck for extra effect. "I want to go to sleep. Maybe you can come tomorrow?" But Jungkook just narrowed his eyes at his lame act. "Amy will have probably fallen asleep already, anyway. That must be why she hasn't called me yet."

That seemed to convince him a little bit. He dropped his shoulders and pouted. "Alright," he agreed. "Let's go home. Tomorrow all three of us can watch a movie or something after dance practice, right?"

Jimin was already on his feet before Jungkook finished his sentence. "Yeah, a movie sounds good. Let's go."

He arrived outside your shared apartment at 10:54 pm. Looking at the closed door, he wondered whether you had actually fallen asleep. He knew you were quite a night owl, but he just thought maybe that would be a decent excuse. Or maybe it'd be worse.

"Oh, you're here?"

He almost didn't hear your voice, lost in thought as he were. But it brought him back to earth, and he noticed you sat at the corner of the couch, a lamp by your side and a book in your hands. You smiled warmly and marked the page you were at before closing your book and getting up to walk to your boyfriend.

"What's with the long face? Did something happen?"

"Huh?" Jimin's eyebrows shot up, only then letting go of the door handle he was clenching. He ran a hand through his hair, avoiding eye contact. "Uh… no, nothing."

You tilted your head to the side and gave him a playful but incredulous look. You put your hands on his waist and pulled him slightly towards you, but he didn't come as easily as he normally did. "You sure? Because you're literally pouting right now," you remarked, placing a peck on his puffy lips.

"It's just that…" Jimin ran a hand over his face, rubbing his eyes. He pulled away, his shoulders heavily going up and down as he sighed. He looked at you with the corner of his eyes. "What did you do while I was out?"

"Oh, well…" Your eyes lit up and you cracked a cocky smile, swaying slightly as you smoothly started walking towards the kitchen. "I don't know if you noticed anything when you walked in, but I actually–"

"Did you even care if I came back?"

You froze in your place. Your smile dropped, a frown taking its place in your face. "Jimin… what?"

He just gave you a casual shrug, as if he was just spitballing. "I don't know, did you care when I came back, or if I came back at all?"

"What are you even talking about?" You walked closer. "What do you mean?"

"I mean… Do you care whether we're together or not? Do you care about me?"

You placed your hands on his shoulders to look at him better. He wasn't avoiding your eyes anymore; instead, he was piercing through them with his unblinking, watery ones. "Jimin, baby, did you drink? Of course I care about you, what kind of question is that?"

He simply said: "Oh," and munched on his bottom lip. You grabbed both his cheeks, but he pulled you away. He turned around, not to go anywhere. He just stood there, facing the wall.

"Baby, why would you ask me something like that?" you repeated.

"Oh, no reason. Just 'cause you never seem to care if I'm with the boys instead of you. You never care if I work all day or don't see you for weeks. You don't even care when I have to work with other women. That's why I'm asking; do you even care about me?"

You closed your eyes shut and shook your head. Did you hear that right? "Wait… When you say I don't care about you, you mean I don't complain and I don't get jealous?"

Jimin finally turned back around. He ran both his hands through his hair, pulling at it. "I- I'm not saying I want you to complain, I just– I mean, why don't you ever ask me to spend more time with you?"

"Because I know you have work and other responsibilities! I respect that. Did you not want me to be understanding or something?"

"No but… like, when I'm not working. You could say we have to be together all the time. You only get to see so little of me, and you don't even want that?"

You laughed. How was this even a real argument? You looked towards the kitchen and your laughter turned bitter and stopped abruptly. "Are you serious right now?" Jimin's eyebrows dropped at the sudden change in your tone. "You think I like that you're working all the time? That we can't even go on a date, that I only get to see you with the stopwatch? When you leave for months to go on tour, do you think I throw parties back here? No, I go to sleep every night alone, with nothing to distract me."

Jimin took a step back. He hadn't expected you to talk back like this. Or actually, he hadn't expected you to have thought about this before, which you clearly had. "If you feel like that, why don't you show it? Why don't you say anything?" he said trying his best to keep his sulky posture.

You took one look at his pouty lips and remembered it wasn't your place to get angry right now. You had admittedly gotten a little offended that your boyfriend would even think something like that, but you should be reassuring him he's wrong, not opening up a new argument. You sighed while slightly rolling your eyes. Your hands found his chubby cheeks and you pulled him close.

"Because I know this is difficult. I knew the moment I decided to get into this relationship." You caressed his cheekbone and moved a hair strand away from his eyes. "It's difficult for me and it's difficult for you, and I didn't want to make it even more so by complaining all the time. Jimin…" you whispered his name as delicately as you could, giving him no other choice but to look at you, "–of course I want to be with you as much as I can. If it was up to me, I'd be with you 24/7. But I understand you can't spend all your free time on me. What do you want me to do, keep you on a leash? Ban you from seeing your friends or anyone other than me?"

Your boyfriend looked down and kicked his foot, his tongue probing at his cheek. "That'd be better than not even sending me a text while I'm out…"

You started sulking, too. It was true, you didn't send him any texts that evening. And maybe, just maybe, that could be an excuse to feel a little neglected. But it just happened so, and he was reading too much into it. "I knew you were with the boys, I didn't want to disturb you…" you mumbled your explanation.

Jimin didn't raise his head, but raised his eyes, looking up at you, still with that same pout. "All the other guys constantly get texts and calls from their girlfriends asking them to come home, it's not like one more text from you would be a hassle…"

You bit your lower lip. "I didn't know…" You pulled him closer and left a tiny peck on his lips. "I'm sorry, I didn't know baby." You pecked him again. "From now on, I promise that I will text you anytime I miss you, just to let you know. And if you can come see me, even better."

Although his expression didn't change much –his frown might have gotten even deeper, actually– you could tell that his mood had taken a 180° turn. Jimin made a sound of contentment in the back of his throat. His small fingers crept up your pajama shirt and grabbed it tightly. He quickly pecked your lips, too, as if he was trying to do it before you could stop him.

"You don't need to worry about seeming clingy, Amy. Give me all the clingy you got, I really don't mind," he spoke sheepishly.

You chuckled. "You don't mind? You seem like you desperately need it, actually." You managed to get a glimpse of your boyfriend's blush before he buried his face in the crook of your neck. "Ah, what am I going to do with you…" you laughed, fluffing his hair and rubbing his back. "You know, you must be the only person in the world who complains about his girlfriend not complaining."

Jimin pulled back looking all offended. "I'm not complaining! I'm just- it's just, you know, complaining is a lot better than not saying anything. If you don't say anything then I'll just think you don't care."

Before he could pout again, you grabbed his face and squished his lips together. "No… You know, I can't always tell you everything," you said. "And sometimes it's better that we're not together." Jimin's eyes looked like they were going to pop off his head. You just went over this whole argument, and this is what you decide to say? He opened his mouth all wide and round, ready to go off in his thick satoori accent, when you squished his lips even more and hushed him. "Tonight, for example, just because I didn't text you didn't mean I wasn't thinking about you." You finally released him, taking his hand into yours and walking towards the kitchen. "I tried to ask you this when you came in but… didn't you notice anything?"

Jimin frowned. He looked around, perked his ears, sniffed the room… His mouth formed a tiny 'o' and he looked at you innocently. "What's that smell?"

You pouted at him, trying to look a little hurt, while you opened the oven. "Well… while you were out with your buddies, I got kinda bored. And I decided to bake you a cake for when you come home."

"A cake?" Jimin chirped and moved immediately to grab the pan from your hands. It wasn't anything too elaborate, a simple chocolate cake with no decorations or anything. You just liked baking stuff when you had nothing much to do. "For me?" your boyfriend asked, suddenly regretting ever starting an argument with you.

"I'll eat too, what did you think?" you chuckled.

After you had cut a few slices, warmed up a couple of cups of milk to go with it, too, you watched your boyfriend munch on the warm cake from across the counter. You noticed how he was sitting, with his legs spread out and his arms supporting most of his body weight. He looked tired, something you had missed when he walked in due to his energetic temper. You stuffed your face with the last bite of cake and stared at his thighs. He wanted clingy, right? You got up and walked to him, sitting on his lap while making sure you didn't put too much weight on him. You snaked an arm over his neck and used your other hand to feed him a few more bites.

"So…" you purred. "Do you think I should make you feel good tonight to show you how much I care about you?" Jimin stopped chewing, looked in your eyes, and swallowed. A smirk started forming on his lips and he almost opened his mouth to talk, when you continued. "Or should you make me feel good as an apology for ever doubting me?"

Your fingertips fondled with the tiny hair at the back of his neck and you felt how he got goosebumps just by that. Not ever looking away, he clapped his hands together to rid them of any crumbs, and grabbed your waist, urging you to straddle him. His smirk appeared on his lips again and his stare got darker, pupils dilated, head slightly lowered.

"Hmm… I think we got time for both."

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