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astroph1les · 4 months

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this love [h.c] | chapter four

summary: after the events of last night, you’re living in bliss with hazel: sharing secret kisses and gentle touches. you and hazel try a few new things. when isabel catches the two of you, an unsettling realization comes into play.

pairing: hazel callahan x fem!reader

contains: a lot of affection, blushy adorable sapphics, smut — fingering (r! receiving), discussions about homophobia, inexperienced! reader, knight! hazel is forever going to be the death of me.

word count: 6.1K

a/n: first post of the new year! i’m so incredibly sorry for the delay for this guys. life has been so insanely weird lately and i missed writing my sweet girls <3 new year’s resolution to try and post a lot more for yall. enjoy my loves ♥︎

‘this love’ masterlist

Time is sacred.

You never paid attention to time until Hazel. It either froze or went by entirely too fast when you were with her. Especially now that your relationship with her was anything but professional. Yes, of course, you were both extremely careful with how you acted towards one another when Isabel or any of the guards were around. Keeping your distance but stealing longing glances until you rounded a corner where there wasn’t a soul in sight and kissed until you couldn’t breathe.

The first week of being with her like this was indescribable. You never knew you could experience this amount of happiness within yourself. Though it took a few days for you both to become comfortable with yourselves.

The first day was on edge. You awoke that next morning to Hazel’s perfectly sculpted face pressed into your velvety pillows to match your title as royalty. As you stared at her cupid's bow, an uncomfortable amount of guilt settled within you.

What would your mother think? What would Isabel think? What would the kingdom think if they found out the princess was in fact more different than they thought. That was you were a sapphic and would not want to be wed to a prince, but instead a woman that was a knight.

You were afraid. Heart-aching, soul-crushing, overwhelmingly afraid for the future.

But the moment Hazel opened her eyes and sent you a tired smile in your direction, you felt a wave of relief flush over you.

“Morning, princess,” Hazel spoke through a stretch and a yawn.

“Morning,” you reply shyly as you brushed your tousled hair out of your face.

“Are you okay?” Hazel hesitantly raised a hand to caress your puffy cheeks from your well-rested slumber.

You can’t help but lean your cheek into her warm yet slightly calloused palm.

“Yeah. I’m just thinking.” You respond truthfully to her question.

Hazel caressed the apple of your cheeks, watching as the beam from the windows highlighted the back of your head to reveal your frizzy hairs. A bright angelic halo of sorts.

“About last night?”

You nod as it was true but there was so much more. Your half-truths were weighing on your chest uncomfortably.

“What happens now?” You question as you’ve never experienced anything of the sort.

Hazel shakes her head as she continues to caress the side of your cheek.

“Let’s just stay in the moment. It’s gentle here with you, princess.” Hazel whispers with nothing but kindness in her voice.

You simply smile tiredly and inch yourself more into her if that was even possible. You could feel her abdomen pressing into your own through the thin material of her shirt. Your arms are close to your chest as she continues to caress your face with delicacy.

A beat passed before you heard a soft knock at your bedroom door. You sat up with a jolt at the noise, practically snapping your neck to look at Hazel who, too, had a panicked expression on her face.

“Who is it?” You call out as you run a hand over your frizzy bed hair.

“Isabel! Remember? You wanted to talk about Hazel this morning.?” Isabel’s confused and muffled voice flowed through the door.

No. You, in fact, had not remembered. You were too busy kissing and snuggling Hazel.

Hazel mouthed to you with a cocky smile on her face; “me?”

You silently shush her with a playful shove to her shoulder as you shake your head. Hazel placed a kiss on your shoulder as she chuckled quietly at your embarrassed flushed cheeks.

“Isabel, can you meet me in the dining room? I’m not… presentable at the moment.” You nervously laugh, fiddling with a loose strand on your elegant covers.

Another beat of deafening silence.

“Alright. How long will you be?” Isabel sounded extremely hesitant from behind the door.

Guilt settled in your gut. You were going to tell her eventually. Maybe. You weren't sure if it was worth the risk. Yes, Isabel had never once showed you any sort of aggression or hatred towards anything but you never knew how someone could be when you revealed that you were, in fact, a sapphic.

“Only ten minutes. I promise.” You assure her, glancing at Hazel who seemed a bit weary.

“I'll be in the dining room then,” Isabel borderline mumbles through the door.

Once you heard her footsteps recede past your bedroom and down the lengthy hallway, you let out a sigh of relief. One of your hands pressed over your rapid-beating heart to try and relax your anxious thoughts. Hazel was about to tease you about how you were going to be talking about her with Isabel but as soon as she noticed your shaking hands, it was no longer amusing.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Hazel’s voice whispers as she notices how hard your breathing became. Her hand gently caresses at the side of your face.

“I-I don’t know what I’m going to tell her, Hazel. She’d—“

“You don’t have to tell her anything if you don’t want to. She is not obligated to know, princess.” Hazel assured you.

You shook your head before replying; “she’s my friend. I trust her.”

“I understand. If you wish to tell her, that is okay with me but,” Hazel licked her lips as she paused her words to try and find the right ones. “Are you going to be okay with it? With any sort of reaction that could happen after you tell her; bad or good?”

Yes, for the good. No; for the bad. Your mind was flipping back and forth. You were about ninety percent certain that Isabel would be okay with you and you and Hazel’s relationship. That small percentage of the gut-wrenching possibility that she could despise you forever was holding you back from saying ‘yes’.

“I won't tell her. Yet, at least.” You said simply.

“And that’s okay.” Hazel’s gentle tone reassured your buzzing anxiety.

You nod slowly, a smile spreading onto your face. Hazel’s lips curled as well, leaning forward to kiss your cheek softly.

After reluctantly getting out of the bed, though Hazel’s lips were a painful temptation, you met up with Isabel in the dining room for breakfast. Linda and Nina cooked you and Isabel eggs with slices of bread on the side with a few choices of homemade jams from the fruits growing in the garden.

Hazel had to have been in the knights quarters by now as you kissed her goodbye before making your way to lie to your only friend. Isabel had already begun spreading the blueberry jam onto the wheat bread with an excited look on her face.

“What happened in the garden?” Isabel questioned.

“Um, well,” you start as you pick at your over-easy eggs to try and remember what you and Hazel had come up with, “we kind of got into an argument about why she was upset with me. We talked it out and now we’re all good. I think we’re closer now because of it.”

Yeah, her tongue in your mouth ‘close’.

Isabel nodded along before tilting her head with furrowed brows. “What exactly did you two talk about?”

“It was nothing really. We’re okay now is all that matters.” You emphasized to the honey haired beauty.

Isabel seemed to not really believe what you were saying and you were internally panicking and hoped that she would move on. Thankfully, she just nodded and continued to eat brunch with you. She moved on to tell you that she enjoyed seeing her family so much that she was hoping to be able to leave the palace on her own to stay with them for a few more days.

“Bel, oh my god. Of course,” your eyes soften at her beaming eyes.

God, it was eating at you how you could lie to someone as incredibly sweet as she was.

“Okay,” she said through giddy laughter as she took a bite of her slice of bread, “I’ll pack clothing for the trip after breakfast. Thank you so much.”

“What did I tell you about the ‘thank you’s?” You raised your eyebrows at her, pointing at her with a fork.

“I know, I know. I just…” Isabel sighed as she looked like she was stuck on her words. Her eyes were following all across your features and it caused you to mess with your flyaway hairs subconsciously.

“What?” You let out a soft chuckle, avoiding her eyes.

“You seem brighter today.” Isabel admits with a sweet smile.

Another stab to the heart. This really wasn’t going to be easy on you, was it?

A few days followed and you grew more and more comfortable with being this intimate with the charming knight. The kisses were heavier and the touches lingered for longer.

This beautiful morning, you forced yourself to get up from the safe space of the soft bed and got ready for the day. Hazel strangely enough kept her distance from you as you got ready on your own. Isabel was still in town with her family so the palace was eerily empty; other than the knights, of course.

You brushed it off as this was probably just as new to her as it was to you. Two women being intimate like this wasn’t unheard of but it was drastically shamed upon. The thought of the two of you being exposed to the public struck an inexplicable amount of fear through you.

As you slipped on the dress, you watched her through the mirror as she stood up from the bed. You tensed up as her hands reached out to carefully tug on the ropes of the corset in the back. You sucked in a deep breath Hazel’s fingers grazed against the bare skin of your back.

“Is this okay?” Hazel’s whispers.

You simply nod, a very obvious blush on your cheeks as she ties the corset portion off to secure the fabric onto your body. Hazel traces the stitching before retracting her hands to smile at you through the mirror.

“You are beautiful, princess.” Her tone was genuine as her eyes fell to the sage green material of your corset portion of your dress.

“You are a charmer, Hazel,” you reply, trying to hide how much that lifted your spirit.

Hazel chuckled at your deflection of her compliment as she already knew how you were.

“And you are stubborn.” Hazel leaned forward to place a feather-soft kiss onto the crook of your neck.

The gesture caused the faintest of gasps to leave your lips before turning around to face her fully. You were met with her deep blue eyes staring into your own, a glint that was unrecognizable in hers.

“Would you teach me how to fight?” You change the subject, somehow suddenly remembering that she was a trained knight.

Hazel’s eyes narrowed for a moment in thought as you lean forward to scrunch up your nose in her face. Hazel copied your actions which caused you to smile adoringly at her.

“I think you could already put up a good fight so…” Hazel cleared her throat and jerked her head towards your bedroom doors. “Let’s go and test that theory, princess.”

You couldn’t believe she agreed so quickly. You had no experience whatsoever in any other kind of combat. The only thing you knew how to expertly do was disassociate when your parents scolded you.

“Wait, really? You’ll teach me?” You beamed excitedly at her words.

“Of course. Whatever my princess wants,” her tone deepened ever so slightly that caused shivers to run down your spine.

Hazel motioned towards the bedroom doors with a small smile as you hadn’t responded to her comment. All you could do was reciprocate the smile as you followed behind Hazel as she tugged open the door for you. She stood to the side with perfect posture as you walked past her, a soft ‘thank you’ leaving your lips.

You haven’t gotten any new news on how your parents were doing or if they had even arrived in the new country yet. You didn't care as much as you should but there wasn’t an ounce of guilt within you. You haven’t enjoyed yourself in such a long time and it was all thanks to Hazel. Oh, and of course your parents' obsession with giving you away to some random prince.

“What do you want to learn first?” Hazel questions as she walks side by side with you as you make your way to the back of the palace. “There’s sword fighting, hand-to-hand, archery— well that’s considered hunting more than anything but a skill nonetheless.”

“Well, what do you think I could be good at?” You ask curiously.

Sometimes you hated how you couldn't be inside of Hazel’s mind to see what she thought of you. When she looked at you, it seemed a lot more gentle than saying your parents were too. It intrigued you more than anything.

Hazel looked over at you with a smug smile before shaking her head. Damn her private thoughts.

“What?” You press with her a confused chuckle.

“How about we start with hand to hand combat, princess, yeah?” She completely dodged your question.

You would’ve minded a lot more but the way she tilted her head when she spoke to you made your head cloud with desire. You blush and nod at her suggestion. You followed her to the training area designated for the knights just outside of their quarters, eyeing the wooden set up of the swords.

There were a few bow and arrows and targets that were carved into wooden boards. Bow and arrows were more for hunting as you were told by your mother and father.

“How do we start?” You question as you stare out at the open area of grass.

“Before we start, we have to discuss the one ground rule.” Hazel cleared her throat, turning to you with a more serious expression. “The second you feel any sort of uncomfort or fear, you tell me immediately. Do not hesitate. I mean it, princess. It’s my job to protect you and make sure you’re okay.”

“I thought the job my father gave you was to keep me in line because I’m ‘stubborn’.” You quip with a cheeky grin.

“Well, he hasn’t been wrong about that, has he?” Hazel’s eyebrows rose at you.

You remained silent as you knew she got you there. Your stubbornness was evident in this very moment.

“Now, tell me you’ll say if you don’t want to do this anymore. Even if it's mid-fight, you tell me.” Hazel’s eyes bore into your own, your face heating up from the intensity of her deep blue gaze.

You nod, biting back your cheeky attitude to show you were serious about this as well.

“No. Words, princess.” Hazel shook her head.

“Yes, I will tell you.” You suck in a deep breath as you straighten your back.

“Good.”

Was it normal to be aroused by a voice? You asked yourself as she gently yet sternly spoke to you. You felt like you were going insane by wanting to have her instruct you how to do anything and everything.

Now being early summer, beads of sweat were forming at your hairline. Your hair was already into a singular ponytail, being held back by a piece of ribbon that was the same color as your corset portion of your dress. Your everyday dress clung tightly to your body, the flowy sleeves sending a breeze to up your arms with every movement. Hazel had half of her short hair tied up, the look suiting her quite well. You were afraid you would be distracted and get accidentally punched in the face.

“Now, when in combat, a lot of the time your opponent will try to throw you off guard but it's usually some form of punch,” Hazel explained as she slowly circled you.

“Okay, how do I do that?” You turn your head to follow her body.

“Do what?” Hazel blinked.

“Throw a proper punch.” Your eyes are wide with curiosity.

Hazel stopped her circling right in front of you with a soft smile.

“Hold your fists up for me, princess. Like this.”

Hazel demonstrated what your stance should be. You imitate her position, holding your fists straight outwards. She shook her head at you before reaching forward to adjust your arms so that your elbows were bent.

“There we go.” Her voice is calm before she holds up her palms. “Now take a hit at my hand. I need to see how hard you—“

You throw your fist forward to her palm with all the strength you can muster as she is still talking to you. Hazel stops talking to wince at your blow, shaking her hand out to ease the sting that followed throughout her palm and wrist.

You gasp and cover your mouth with both of your hands, muttering out soft apologies quickly. Your own knuckles burned slightly but all you could think about was how you hurt Hazel.

Hazel then chuckled as she shook her head as well, still shaking her hand. “That was good, princess. You are a lot stronger than you look. Hit me again.”

You froze as you noticed her pale cheeks were now slightly flushed as her smile grew. You take position once again as you throw the punch again to her other open palm. Hazel was tense as she urged you to throw the punch again and again and again.

Each blow felt… like a relief. All the pent-up annoyance and anger that was towards your parents for the past 20 years were being let out at the moment.

“You know, you could’ve been a knight if not a princess,” Hazel spoke up as she was finally giving her palms a rest from your slight aggression.

Your chest was panting softly as you too needed a small break, tilting your head at Hazel. A proud smile settled on Hazel’s face which caused you to reciprocate with a tight-lipped grin.

“Really?” You shut one eye as the sun’s rays beamed onto your heated skin, slightly blinding you.

“With your strength, princess, absolutely.” Hazel leaned closer to you, leaning forward to kiss your cheek.

Your initial reaction was to look around for anyone but you were still within your own walls of the palace. Just you and her able to enjoy each other's touch. Once this realization settled in, you carefully placed your lips onto hers; a ghost of a kiss even. You tested the waters to see if she even wanted to kiss you when you were all sweaty and out in broad daylight.

Hazel chased yours when you tried to pull away, her hands settling on your waist. It was a careless idea. You wanted to be careless as long as you could feel her lips on you.

“What are you doing to me?” Hazel pulls away to ghost her nose over yours.

Her words were desperate, begging for you.

“Distracting my opponent.” You reply as you allow your palms to rest on hers that were on your waist. They slid up her arms to her biceps to grab onto the muscle lightly.

“You're a vixen, princess.” Hazel lets out a pained sigh before grabbing onto your waist tighter to lock her lips with yours.

The word echoed in your mind. You had only heard it a few times within the literature you read. A vixen was a fierce and sexually attractive woman. Hazel had just admitted that she had thought about you in a sexual manner.

You had merely read about arousing actions. It was rare to find intense and erotic scenes in the fiction you read but when you stumbled upon a few pages of it, you felt ashamed to be absorbing something like that. All of it was centered around a man and a woman.

“Do you want to go to the library?” You hum as you back up slowly from Hazel.

Her brows furrow at your suggestion, having not expected you to say ‘library’ of all places. Her demeanor switched as she knew the library was one of your favorite places in the palace; next to the garden and your bedroom.

“Are we done with practicing for the day?” Hazel questioned but she was taking gradual steps towards your backing away figure.

“I just want a little more… privacy, if that’s okay?”

Which had been code for ‘I want to devour you with no one around’. Hazel’s eyes eyed you up and down with only desire and admiration. Your panting chest and cheeky smile caused her to follow you without a doubt in her mind.

After all, you are her princess.

“You’re a little minx, you know that?” Hazel shook her head as she pointed at you with a smile just as giddy as your own.

You didn't deny her words but instead only continued to back away until you were speed-walking towards the library’s outside doors. Hazel was hot on your feet, a smitten chuckle leaving your lips as her hands chased after your waist. You let out soft giggles at her grip as you tug one of the door handles open to reveal the shelves of dusting books.

There in the far right, away from any big windows of sorts was a red velvet couch with gold lining. You eyed it curiously, waiting patiently for your knight. Hazel shut the door behind you as she peered out the window at the open field to make sure there was no one in the surrounding areas.

Once she made sure the two of you were okay, she turned to you who was already sitting on the couch waiting for her. You were sitting upright, staring up at her with wanting eyes.

“Can I ask you something, princess?” Hazel hummed as she traced a few spines of the books.

“Uh, yes?” You were confused but tilted your head to look at her side profile.

“Have you ever read erotica before?”

The question stunned you. Your eyes darted across the shelves in a panic as you in fact had read some hot erotica before. It had completely caught you by surprise the dirty words inked on the pages of some unknown romance novel. Yes, it was between a man and woman but the feeling it had given you ached in your lower regions.

“Only a few times, yes, but not many,” you admitted shyly.

“Is it arousing for you?” Hazel asked.

What is she leading up to?

Your nose scrunches up at the memory before replying with: “Not always. I feel the man gets a majority of the pleasure in most of them.”

Hazel merely hummed and nodded as you weren't wrong. However, it was painfully obvious as the ones who had read were in fact written by men. The pages were etched with descriptions of a man's ‘throbbing shaft’ and ‘reddening tip’ that had made your body cower in disgust.

“See, that’s the problem. There aren't many novels targeted for women.” Hazel now was inching over to you. You nod in agreement, still looking up at her with curious eyes. “The men usually treat the women like they’re nothing but a pretty face and something to control.”

”I’m pretty sure that’s most men in real life as well.” You add on, shaking your head.

Hazel now stood right in front of you, reaching a hand out to cup at your jaw gently. The motion made you freeze but allowed the touch with caution. Hazel’s rough thumb grazed over your lower lip, your breath hitching at the feeling.

“Will you let me make you feel good, princess?” Hazel’s voice was barely above a whisper, eyes locking with yours. “Show you what that should feel like?”

You almost responded with, ‘You already make me feel good’, but then you realized she meant like in the erotica: sexually.

“Yes.” You muttered in a trance, tilting your jaw up in hopes she would capture your lips in a kiss.

Just as you had hoped, she leaned downward to kiss you softly, both of her hands cupping the sides of your warmed face. Your palms slid down her arms as you allowed her to use her thumb to dig into your cheeks causing your mouth to open a bit. Her tongue swiped over your bottom one hungrily. The kisses only grew heavier as Hazel was now kneeling down to where you now had to lean yourself to chase her addicting lips.

Hazel pulled away for a moment to stare at your flushed face before attaching her lips to the underside of your jaw. You jump a little in surprise but the feeling of her sucking and tugging at your skin makes goosebumps rise and a wave of arousal flow through you. Your cunt pulsed needily in a way that’s never happened before.

“Hazel,” you whimpered as your hands were sliding up into the lower part of her makeshift half-up hair-do.

“You sound prettier than I ever could imagine, princess,” she mutters on the wet spot on your jaw, excitement rushing through her veins.

This caused you to smile shyly at the compliment, cheeks warming up. Hazel pulls away from the length of your jaw to admire how beautiful you are when you’re so desperate.

“How did you plan on making me feel good, my knight?” You question with a cheeky grin, using one of your hands to trace around her hairline.

But you never failed to make her just as desperate.

“Do you trust me?” Hazel took said hand into her own grasp, raising your hand to place ever so gentle kisses on your sore knuckles.

In a dazed, lust-driven state, you nod eagerly.

“Yes,” you whimpered out.

Hazel let go of your gentle hands to guide her own to the bottom of the skirt portion of your dress. You watch the charming knight with eager eyes to see what she is going to do. Her palms were pressing into the plush of your thighs underneath the skirt, the mystery of what she was planning on doing was driving you insane.

“You’ll tell me if you want me to stop and I will, okay?” Hazel’s warm palms were massaging the skin sensually, leaning down to kiss at your exposed knee.

“I don’t think I’ll want you to,” you admit with a soft chuckle as she kisses just a bit higher past your knee.

Hazel too chuckled but she shook her head: “Even so, you change your mind and you let me know immediately, princess. Okay?”

You nod and mutter an ‘okay’ back. Hazel sucked in a deep breath before inching her hands up to the waistband of the undergarments of your dress. Your breathing grew rapid as she began to tug the material down your thick thighs. Hazel watched your face for any sort of discomfort but you only appeared excited for what was to come.

You lifted your feet to allow her to remove them completely. It was an arousing thought to know you were bare for her underneath the skirt of the dress. You’d only ever worn them with your day-to-day dresses as you found them restricting but didn't want to risk accidentally revealing your bottom to the palace staff.

One of her hands tossed the white cotton shorts to the side as the other was at the crevice of your hip and thigh. Your eyes fluttered as her fingers teased on the outside of your aching lips. Your mouth fell open as she gently parted your legs, a breeze brushing past your wet pussy.

“Can I touch you here?” Hazel’s hands brushed past your pubic bone, just above where you were hoping she would touch the most.

“Please,” you breathed out, adjusting yourself to where you were more towards the edge of the couch.

Hazel hummed as she carefully dragged a single finger through your folds. You were practically dripping with arousal, the noise sending shivers down your spine. Hazel muttered a curse under her breath at the feeling of how warm you were. She switched to two fingers just teasing at your cunt. The obscene sound made her feel like she was the luckiest woman to exist to be touching you like this.

Hazel did something that almost made you moan out loud. She suddenly removed that hand from underneath your dress to take her glistening fingers into her mouth. The knight didn't hold back a moan at the taste, needing more of you. The moan causes your ego to boost to the highest extent and you whine at the loss of her attention.

“I could taste you forever,” Hazel groaned before leaning forward to kiss you passionately.

You whimper against her mouth as you get a hint of your arousal on her lips. It wasn’t as good as Hazel was making it out to be but it only made you wetter at the fact that she audibly moaned at the taste of your cunt.

Hazel’s hands pushed the clothing up your legs to rest right on your upper thighs to sneak one hand underneath the skirt. That same hand made its way to your aching core to slip her middle finger into you. You gasp softly, clenching down on her hand. The feeling was foreign but you strangely couldn't get enough of it.

“Does that feel okay, princess?” Hazel questions.

You hum to confirm with a nod of your head.

“Okay. I’m going to move now and you tell me if you want me to stop,” the blue-eyed knight informs you before placing a kiss on your cheek.

You can’t really focus on speaking at the moment. Hazel’s finger begins to pump slowly in and out of your pussy, the motion sending shocks right to your aching clit. This time the moan that leaves your mouth is loud, followed by a whine that you can’t even begin to describe as other than feral.

As Hazel’s arm began to move forward and back, you were gripping onto her toned shoulders as leverage. There was slight sweat forming at the base of your neck and spine. Before you knew it, your hips were rolling down onto the finger. Hazel encouraged you with soft kisses to your cheeks and jaw.

Hazel then slipped in her ring finger next to the middle inside of your warm walls, watching as your face contorted in pleasure. Your brows were furrowed and your jaw hadn’t picked up since she first touched your hip.

“How’s my princess doing?” Hazel pecked your lips.

“Feels so good.”

“Yeah?” Hazel grinned at you.

You nod, too focused on how amazing her fingers are working into you to smartly comment like you usually would. They curl against a spot inside of you that erupts the loudest moan you’ve ever made to echo inside the library’s walls. Hazel presses her lips to yours eagerly; to both quiet you and kiss you.

Your abdomen was tightening up as her pace quickened. It felt like you had to pee. Were you going to pee on her?

“Hazel, it feels tight right here.” You place a hand over your stomach, panting as you try to explain the strange feeling.

“It’s okay. I got you, princess. Let go and it’s going to feel so good. Just like I said I would make you feel,” Hazel rushed out as her free hand was now rubbing circles across your untouched clit.

You trusted her so you listened to her words and continued to enjoy the intense feeling. The sound of Hazel’s discreet moans only drew you on. You arched your back into her as your head grew fuzzy as an overwhelming amount of pleasure rushed from your lower back to the tips of your toes.

Hazel’s voice was all you could hear, pressing gentle kisses onto every piece of exposed skin. Your chest heaved up and down slowly as you rode your orgasm out. Her words were not clear yet as you were trying to process what had just happened.

“Princess, can you talk to me, please?” Hazel’s hands were sliding your undergarments up your legs for you as you were coming back down from your high.

“You— What was that?” You chuckle as you shake your head, gradually sitting yourself upright.

“A little trick we learned in knight training,” Hazel joked as she kissed your quivering thighs.

You weakly pushed her shoulder but then tugged at the fabric as a silent ‘come here’. Hazel got the hint and leaned down to take your plush lips onto hers. You slowly kissed her with gentle hands caressing at her neck.

Her hands were resting at your hips, humming in a state of bliss with you.

The door opened causing you and Hazel to remove your lips from one another quickly. You attempted to appear as casual as possible but it was no use. You heard a gasp that left from someone’s lips causing you to look up to see Isabel with eyes wide in shock.

“I’m back from… seeing my family. I’ll leave you be, princess.” Isabel tried to back out of the room but you were quick to call out for her.

She never calls you princess. You're more than just the ‘princess’ to her.

“Bel, wait, please don’t go.” You take a step forward, urgency in your voice.

Isabel held her head down and pretended to not hear you, briskly walking out of your bedroom and allowing the door to shut behind her. You looked over at Hazel in a panic, your chest rising and falling at a rapid pace.

“I have to go after her, Hazel.” You give her an apologetic look as you rush out of the room before you can even hear her response.

Isabel wasn’t down the hall as you expected but in fact, right outside the library’s door. She was nervously picking at her fingernails. Her eyes caught your own, widening at the sight of your nervous figure.

Neither of you spoke for a beat, eyes locked one another. You were frozen, afraid if you moved she would take off in a sprint to tell someone about what she saw you and Hazel were doing. The silence was deafening.

“So I guess that’s what you meant by closer,” Isabel finally spoke softly, clearing her throat as she tucked a flyaway back behind her ear.

Her words caused your brows to furrow until you looked at her to see her lips pursed into a smile.

“What?”: is all you’re able to reply with as you’re in shock.

“I always thought you had a liking towards her but definitely not that much of a liking,” Isabel joked once again.

Now, you were extremely confused. She was acting so normal about this. No snarky comments about how what you two were doing was unnatural or disgusting.

All you can do is reach forward to pull her into a hug. Isabel accepted the embrace with open arms as she allowed you to let out a soft cry against her shoulder. It’s been a while since you’ve shed genuine tears, especially around people. It was something that you had forced yourself to repress due to your fear of being seen as pathetic by your parents.

Every shout, every degrading comment, every lecture, every poke at you pricked at your tear ducts every time but you had forced yourself to hold back any sort of weakness. It would only lead to even more ridiculing.

“You don’t hate me?” You question through the sobs.

“You’re happy now. I could tell that day I left how much brighter you looked. That’s all I want for you,” Isabel pulled away to grab onto your hands lovingly, “she does make you happy, right?”

You let out a wet laugh, wiping your hot and damp cheeks with one hand.

“A scary amount.”

Isabel let out a soft laugh as well. Her face twisted into a serious expression, her face softening in a way that you’ve never seen before: fear.

“I am afraid for you two. If anyone in the palace finds out about your relationship, I can almost guarantee they will not be kind.” Isabel’s worried voice tells you and winces as she tells you something that shatters your heart: “I’m sorry to tell you this, too, but your parents are also coming home a month early. They should be here in two weeks. One of the knights that patrols the gates heard from a messenger. He informed me when I arrived back.”

You stare at Isabel not knowing what to say. You weren’t ecstatic. Why would you be? You and Hazel have barely shared a week together and now what could’ve been three months had shrunk to one.

Time is fleeting. Time is a new found enemy.

tag-list: @toritea @echo-ethe @em-la-femme @pascalrry @piperlivingdeliberately @elsblunt @bellaramseylover @princessmars @ignepatron @idkwhatimdoingherelmao @guzzlingplastic111 @akila-twt @teenagedramaqueenlisa @vster0769 @moonbyune @silentliesblog @kali-q @0jaylene0 @lovecomesfrmwithin @thewinterlunarhalo @jamespotterloveslilies @writerinloves-blog @uraesthete @spencerreidswhore187 @piapiaweee3 @liv012 @astrologybitch04 @strawberryyivy

#hazel callahan #hazel callahan x reader #wlw #sapphic #lgbtq community #this love #knight hazel #hazel callahan x you #hazel callahan fic

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bambithewriter · 1 month

Text

Little tawtute

Spider(23) x fem!human reader(21) x Neteyam(22)

Content: MDNI, 18+, threesome, dom Spider, dom Neteyam, sub reader, oral (f receiving), p in v, voyeurism, slight Lo’ak x reader

Summary: Neteyam walks in on a private moment between Spider and a cute little tawtute.

A/N: I literally had this draft saved for weeks but didn’t have any motivation to finish it until today. After my hot girl walk, I was full of ideas and this smutty piece was born. This is my first time writing Spider so that was a new experience. I’m not going to lie, this was supposed to be a drabble yet it turned out way longer🤭

Also, let’s just pretend like the masks are not necessary for the sake of this fic😭

tawtute - human

yawntutsyìp - little loved one

Growing up on Pandora had been tough, being one of the only humans her age. The only one around was Spider. It’s no wonder they grew so close…perhaps too close.

Turning into a woman changed her body.

Her body became heavier and plumper. Her curves filled out perfectly. She couldn’t wear the Na’vi clothes she used to love as a child. It simply didn’t feel as comfortable anymore, too revealing.

Activities such as exploring the forest, climbing, and running no longer felt comfortable for her body.

Spider wasn’t the little kid he used to be. He grew into a fully adult man with a strong body. It showed how much he had adapted to the Na’vi lifestyle.

Spider never strayed from the Na’vi culture while she felt more comfortable in the lab with the humans. Their relationship never faltered despite their differences.

There was one they did have in common. The craving for intimacy. Sexual intimacy. With the two being the only ones around their age, what choice did they have?

Tonight was one of those nights.

A night filled with nothing but the sound of their lips smacking together, hands exploring each other's bodies.

Their clothes were scattered on the forest floor.

They didn’t talk. No, not tonight. Not when it had been weeks since they last had intimacy together. It had been tormenting for both of them.

She had been busy helping around the lab, assisting Max whenever needed.

Spider, as usual, spent a lot of time in the village. He may not have an avatar but that never stopped him from helping the people.

Spider was tough, brave and loyal. He may not have been born with the same physical as the Na’vi but what he did have was their mentality.

The only times they'd see each other was when Spider entered the lab to replace his mask or to stuff down some food.

That's why when they finally had time for themselves, Spider took her to a spot in the forest just a couple minutes away from the lab.

Spider was playful but he was no tease. Not when both of them were so desperate for each other.

That's why instead of teasing her as he usually would, he took off her clothes without hesitation.

He had her naked in seconds, two fingers stuffed deep inside of her wet cunt, thumb teasing her little nub.

If it weren't for those damn masks he'd have a taste too.

Neteyam was tired, exhausted even. Today had been awful.

He was tasked to train the young warriors, forced to attend a meeting regarding the sky people and got yet another scolding for not having found a mate already.

He was always on duty, helping everyone but himself. Oh, to be the future olo'eyktan. What a dream.

His father had tasked him to deliver some samples to the lab before dismissing him for today.

It was already late, forest lit up with the bioluminescent flora and fauna.

He swiftly moved to the forest, bow and arrows on his back, warrior gear still on.

He wanted to get the samples to the lab and get it over with already.

Despite his tiredness, his senses were still on full alert. A warrior never weakens.

His ears twitched when he heard the sound of whimpering, tail flicking up in interest.

He approached the sounds, crouching down and staying hidden while trying to get a closer view.

His pupils dilated at the lewd sight in front of him, hairless eyebrows raising.

It was Lo'ak his friend, Spider. He was kissing a woman, a tawtute woman. Her back was pressed against a tree, eyes closed while Spider had two fingers stuffed inside her pussy.

His other hand held her leg up around his waist just to get better access to her dripping cunt.

Neteyam's eyes darkened when he saw the tawtute's slick dripping down Spider's fingers before falling to the floor.

He knew it was wrong to stay instead of leaving the two of them, but how could he? He was pent up, in need of a release. Seems like he had found his destresser tonight.

His cock instantly hardened, one of his hands moving down to untie his loincloth. As soon as it fell off he took his cock in one hand, pumping it slowly, eyes never leaving the sight in front of him.

A smug grin appeared on his face when the tawtute opened her eyes and made direct eye contact with him. She squeaked in surprise, alerting Spider of the third person watching them.

Spider spread her legs, revealing her hole of glory.

“Spider.” She softly whined, feeling shy with her pussy exposed like that.

Neteyam shushed her, affectionately caressing her hair. “Ssh tawtute, you’re okay. I won’t do anything bad to you. I think you’ll like it a lot.” His words may have been reassuring but his smirk said otherwise, a silent reminder of how screwed she was.

“You’re okay, pretty girl. I’m here.” Spider comforted her, his hands caressing the side of her waist.

Spider was sitting on the forest floor, his back resting against the tree. He had her sitting in between his legs, her legs spread wide for Neteyam who was crouched down in front of her opened legs.

“So pretty, so soft,” Neteyam mumbled, inspecting her body. His gaze was so intense and focused, making her shy. Neteyam didn't fail to notice this, sensing her nervousness.

“Ssh, tawtute. I’m here. Neteyam will make it all better.” He said in a hushed tone, hands gently caressing her body.

He started by cupping her face in his large hands, running them down to caress his fingers over her delicate neck.

He leaned closer to her neck, taking in her scent. “Mmm.” He grunted softly, continuing to sniff at her neck. His hands, however, continued to explore her. His hands fondled those heavy breasts, not used to their size.

Neteyam inched closer to her pussy taking in its appearance and smell. “Such a small pussy.” He mocked her.

“Lay off her man.” Spider hissed at him, an annoyed look present on his face.

Neteyam shot him a warning glare.

The moment he caught a whiff of her arousal, it was over for her.

His pupils dilated and a crazed look appeared on his face. Before she knew it he pulled her closer by her thighs, burying his face in her pussy.

“N-Neteyam.” She whimpered, hips bucking up when his big tongue lapped at her pussy like a starved man.

He pulled the hood of her pussy up, revealing the small nub hiding underneath, his tongue swirling over it. She cried out in pleasure, hands holding onto Spider’s firm thighs.

Spider squeezed her breasts together, teasing the nipples. His cock was hard, aching to be stroked. He had to wait. He knew he couldn’t stop Neteyam now, not when he was this feral.

“I can't." Neteyam, it’s too much.” She whimpered, chest heaving up and down, her hips rolling against his face.

Neteyam didn’t bother to hold them down, loving the way her pussy smothered him.

“It’s okay yawntutsyìp. I’ll take care of you hmm?” He said in a caring manner only to push a finger in her pussy, making come here motions.

"Nggh, Neteyam!” She whined, her hands holding onto his braids. He only groaned at the feeling of the pair of small hands in his hair, in return making her feel even better with the vibrations sent to her pussy.

Neteyam thrust into his hand, unable to keep himself from pumping his cock with the way she was clenching around his finger and the overwhelming scent of my pussy.

She was sent into a frenzy when he added yet another finger, pumping them at a tantalizing pace. With each pump, they’d grind against her sweet spot.

His fingers along with his tongue massaging her clit became too much for the poor girl. “Mmm, am cumming!” She cried out, warm slick drizzling out of her pussy. Neteyam was quick to lap it all up.

It was only when she desperately started tugging at his braids that he granted her mercy and pulled away.

He sat up on his knees, pumping his cock in his hand while staring at her swollen pussy and fucked out expression. “So…fuck…such a delicious tawtute.” He hissed, glaring down at her.

She barely had time to catch a break before she was lifted and shoved down onto Spider’s cock. Spider was huge. Every time with him felt like the first time.

Spider wasn’t a talker. No, he was a grunter. Never able to stop himself from grunting and groaning whenever her tight heat would be engulfed around his cock.

Her mouth was open agape, silent moans escaping her lips, face scrunched up in pleasure. Wet smacking sound could be heard each time Spider would bounce her up and down onto cock.

Her hand rubbed tight circles around her little nub, getting herself closer to the edge.

“Mmm, you’re so cute playing with yourself like that. Such a little tawtute.”

Neteyam grinned, getting more breathless the closer he was to cumming.

He wasn’t the only one.

“Spider, I’m c-close,” She whined, chest heaving up and down.

“M-Me too. Cum for me, pretty.” He grunted behind her, bouncing her faster.

She cried out in pleasure, walls squeezing his cock tightly when she came. Her juices dripped down his shaft while he painted her insides with his seed.

Just as he pulled out of her cunt, Neteyam positioned his cock right in front of her pussy, covering it with his glowing seed.

The two men groaned in pleasure while she was a whimpering mess, trying to calm down after cumming twice.

Spider affectionately caressed her arms and sides. Neteyam hungrily stared at her pussy that was now covered in all three their cum.

A chill ran down her spine when she heard a third voice.

“That was hot. I’m taking you next, mamas.” Lo’ak already had his tweng down, stroking his cock at the sight of her cream-covered pussy.

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heavenlyysstuff · 4 months

Text

A Foreign Feeling. 2

NETEYAM.s x fem! metkayina! reader

summary . after yesterdays events, you and Neteyam set off on a search for shells beyond the reef. You stay out a little longer than intended.

a/n . again, you don’t have to listen to the song I linked, I simply just like to put songs that I think fit the story’s vibe into the fic. thanks for all the support!

part 1 . part 2

♪˖ now playing .

all the stars . ( SZA ) ⊹.

Early in the morning, where the sky presented shades of pink and blue, you set off towards the Sully’s marui to collect Neteyam.

You’d gotten used to waking up this early, enjoying the hues of the sky and the coolness of the sea, you’d be happy to share it with Neteyam.

With a small bounce in your stride you quietly greet some hunters that pass, seemingly on their way out for some early morning hunting.

Unknown to you, a few hunters crane their necks back around as you pass, smirking to themselves at the thought of who you were off to see this early.

The whispers amongst them are silent to your ears, your mind already occupied with a certain someone.

It’s safe to assume most of the Sully family is still asleep, they probably would have no reason to be up at this time. Hopefully you wouldn’t have to wake Neteyam.

And your thoughts are cut to and end as you approach the Sully’s marui, a familiar figure sat outside with his legs dipped into the water.

“Good morning, Neteyam.” You speak while walking to stand next to him, keeping your voice at a quiet volume as to not disturb the rest of his sleeping family.

His ears perk up instantly, and he almost turns his whole body around to face you, but quickly calms down and just looks up at you. He inhales. “Good morning, y/n.” Immediate exhale, as if he had been preparing to say the words the second he woke up.

Your eyes scrunch as a smile reaches your face, but your expression turns to one of anxiousness. “I hope you weren’t waiting here too long, and sorry… I never really specified on the time, that was my bad.”

Neteyam doesn’t seem to be too disappointed though, in fact he looks a whole lot more bright after your appearance. “No, no it’s fine, I uh— I woke up awhile ago.” His eyes continuously flicker from your own to the ground as he talks.

With another smile placed on your face you make your way around him, “should we get to the ilu then?”

He scrambles to stand, “yea- okay.” His tail sways low behind him, and he freezes when he hears your quiet laugh as you walk away, a heat rushing to his face.

He mindlessly follows like a lost child.

The sounds of the ocean clashing against itself further relaxes you, and you take a saddle from the rack provided.

“You don’t mind riding with me, right?” You kneel down and start calling out to your ilu.

He abruptly turns to you, “oh, no. No it’s fine… it’s good.” coughing after his words.

“Okay good.” You speak while adjusting the saddle on your ilu. “I wouldn’t want to get separated outside the reef.”

“Yea…” Neteyam’s words slip out involuntarily as he becomes distracted by your attire of the day. It’s beautiful, no doubt. And he somehow feels a little special at the sight of a new outfit on your form as he dives into the cool water.

Once he rises to the surface a shaky exhale leaves him, his breath becomes quick and he sets his gaze upon you who is sat comfortably on your ilu. “It’s so cold.” He states the obvious.

You give him a pitiful smile as your shoulders raise in a silent laugh. “You get used to it.” With that you offer a hand out towards him.

He grasps your hand, but not once breaking his eye contact til he has to.

And now as you both sit on the ilu, Neteyam finds himself contemplating on where he should rest his hands. He would rest them on your waist like any other passenger would, but then again, it’s you.

The girl who had him looking through crowds just to find that certain pair of pretty eyes. The girl who had welcomed him and his family into the clan with no hesitation.

The girl he looked forward to seeing everyday. Who made his mornings a little more brighter.

Such sappy thoughts as he’s sat directly behind you, and it seems his mind had drifted so far that he didn’t realise his own hands, that had already made themselves comfortable around your waist as you direct your ilu out of the reef.

“I’m sorry for making you get up so early, you probably had plans today.” You speak your thoughts aloud, but thing is, Neteyam had cleared his whole schedule for you. Not that he had much planned at all, he had just let his parents know he’d be out for the morning, and they surprisingly didn’t ask for any specific details about his whereabouts.

He snaps out of it, again. “You don’t need to be sorry, I didn’t have anything to do anyways.” He’s pleased as your smile comes back on to your face as he peers out to see your side profile. “And I wanted to come.”

It had been awhile as the two of you continuously dived and surfaced through the water, looking for the best shells. at least, that was the case for you.

Neteyam had forced himself to hold his breath longer than he had practiced for, all to see your form glide through the oceans current.

He admired your movements, this time up close.

The way your hair had moved like silk through the water, and the way your body moved with the direction of the sea.

Once again he needs a breath, he quickly swims up towards the surface with the help of your ilu.

He gasps once he had reached the surface, but wastes no second to quickly plunge his head back underwater to locate you, who had began swimming up towards him.

You surface without so much as a sigh for air. “Are you alright?”

He hates the burning feeling down his throat, the result of accidentally swallowing some of the water when he was to distracted by you. “Yea, sorry I just— I need to practice breathing more, I guess.”

You giggle, and a thought enters your head. “Wait here a second.” You pat his shoulder reassuringly. He gives a shy smile.

You dive underwater once again, this time looking for a specific creature.

After a few moments of being underwater searching, you now come across what you had been looking for, quickly taking it and making your way back to Neteyam.

Once you surface, his head immediately snaps to you, then to the creature in your hands. “What it that?”

“It will help you breathe. You need to make the bond.” You reply and wait for him to connect to the creature, he does so hesitantly but surely. After that was done, you reach around his shoulders to place the creature comfortably on his back. “Now you can stay underwater longer with me.”

His eyes rest on your hands that remain on his shoulders, then back to you. Swallowing before he speaks, “good.”

Your eyes scan over his, what is visible, form before slowly tracing your hand from his shoulder down to his hand.. “Let’s go.” Another warm smile on your face, contagious, as it makes Neteyam smile even bigger.

You guide him by the hand, diving underwater and he follows with no hesitation, your fingers still intertwined.

The sun from above you, casted a shadow to form below you. The both of you look down, waving at your own shadows playfully.

You continue to take him deeper until the two of you are down next to the coral and other various sea life.

‘Let’s look for shells together.’ You sign, detaching your hands.

He looks confused for a moment. In his time of being here in the village, he only learnt some of the underwater language that you and Tsireya had taught him. He followed your hands as they moved… let’s… shells…together? He got the gist of what you’d were communicating, and he nods as a reply.

You take his hand once more, prompting him to follow you as you swim just above the oceans floor, occasionally brushing through it to find any hidden jewels.

While focused on your search, Neteyam finds himself looking at a different type of jewel.

In a way, your skin reminded him of the rich minerals he sometimes found in the caves back at home, a glowing blue that was even prettier under the water.

He also finds himself tightening his grip on your hand, just slightly. It almost goes unnoticed.

With your thumb, you rub his knuckles softly, and he can’t help but blush at the realisation of him being caught.

The two of you had searched the nearby sea top to bottom, occasionally going back up to the surface to breathe and share some words.

Neteyam hated the communication barrier he had with you underwater, and he promises himself that when the next lesson came, he’d try extra hard to get all the signs memorised.

The day continues with the two of you swimming through the water as it slowly got darker, not that either of your had noticed.

You had both found some beautiful shells, and once your hands got full you would put them in the bag that was attached to your ilu’s saddle.

Going through every crevice of the coral and searching every inch of sand, sometimes riding your ilu to go to another location, you both grew tired of the swimming, and you point upwards towards the surface as Neteyam follows.

You both gasp for the air, and quickly open your eyes to find each other. After calling your ilu, it’s then when the both of you realise the time.

The orange and pink hues in the sky indicate it’s soon night. You look at Neteyam, and he looks at you. You both start to laugh at the realisation. You had been out together all day.

“I…” your own giggle stops you for a moment, “sorry I didn’t mean to keep you out this long.”

His own laugh becomes louder, biting his lip to calm down, “no it’s alright. I had a lot of fun.” He climbs his way to sit behind you on your ilu, this time not hesitating to slide his hands around your waist as you guide your ilu underwater back to the village.

While the occasional times the two of you are above the water, you converse about all the shells you found, the topic soon changed though.

“Think we can make it back without our parents making a fuss?” You ponder aloud, momentarily looking behind you to find his gaze.

“No way.” He says, “but it’s worth it.”

“Why’s that?” A puzzled expression is put on your face.

“Because I got to spend time with you.”

Oh? He seemed to be getting more confident with his words, todays events made him more comfortable around you, and you love every second of it.

Shutting your eyes for a second and trying to hold back a smile you speak again. “I liked spending time with you as well.”

You had finally returned back to Awa’atlu. You wait until Neteyam climbed off of the ilu and stood onto the woven platform just above the sea. He reaches a hand out to help you lift yourself up next to him.

Once you had the bag of shells you both collected, and taken the saddle off your ilu, it was time to take yourself and Neteyam back home.

“I’ll walk you home.” You speak as you place the saddle back onto its place on the rack amongst others.

His tails swishes in contemplation. “You don’t mind?”

“No, of course not.”

He hums in appreciation, nodding his head downwards slightly as a sign of respect. The two of you begin walking to Neteyams home.

“We found a lot of good ones today, but I think it’s too much to go through today. So maybe we should take another day to go through it all together.” You state as your hand remains firm on the strap of the bag, “that way we both get an even amount, and you could make some jewellery for your family… if you’d like.”

He brightens up for the umpteenth time that day, the thought of being graced with your presence for another day bringing him to a peaceful mind space. “Yea, definitely. I’m free whenever so, just come over and we can go wherever you’d like.”

Your smile at his words immediately makes his knees feel weak, his heart also speeding up, not that anyone would notice of course.

“Here we are.” You stop a few feet from the entrance to his home. Neteyam snaps out of his trance and is brought back to reality.

“Ah.” He acknowledges, also noting the presence of his whole family inside the marui. “Thank you.” He turns his back to his family to continue conversing with you. “For today I mean, I don’t think I’ve gotten out alot since I got here.” He admits with a shy smile.

“Well, now you’ve got someone who will show you everything.” You reply sweetly, “I promise you ,I’ll take you everywhere on this island.”

Neteyam is stuck by your sincerity, completely in awe. “Sounds like a plan.” He’s starting to look forward to his life in this new environment.

You huff out a short giggle before you remember where you should be, “it’s getting late, I should get back home.” As much as you hate to leave him, it has to be done.

He hums from half disappointment and half understanding. “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow, y/n.” He takes a glance over your whole form before you had to leave.

“See you, Neteyam.” You wave while you start to head back towards your own home.

He finds himself stood there for a prolonged moment, staring at your retreating form before the voices of his family inside the marui bring him back.

Once inside, he’s immediately stopped upon noticing the silence as he enters, he looks up from the floor, only to find his whole family sat in some form of a circle, staring at him.

His own face turns to one of confusion, raising his brow sassily.

He quickly noticed his fathers smirk, but all attention is put to Lo’ak when he bursts out laughing.

“Stop it! Stop it!” Kiri jabs at him with her finger, also trying to shush tuk as she begins giggling.

Lo’ak gets a few words out in between laughs “well that answers our question.” That’s when his father starts to slip out a few of his own chuckles.

Among all the chaos of the fits of laughter, his mothers voice is what silences it. “Where have you been Neteyam?” She stands up and walks out of the circle towards her son.

“Sorry I— I’ve been out with y/n all day.” No point in making an excuse, especially with his mother.

“All day?” What have you been doing?” She’s quick with her questions and wants all details.

Neteyam gets a little quieter at the tone of his mothers voice. “She asked if I wanted to find shells with her.”

Neytiri softens at her sons tone, and suddenly is pushing his hair off his shoulders, then holding it all back with her hand making it look like he has a ponytail.

She scans for no longer than five seconds before releasing the boys hair. “Just tell someone where you are next time.” She speaks, and then backs off to finish off preparing diner.

Neteyam had watched as him mother left him be, and for a moment he thought he saw a smile on her face.

“Come sit, you’re probably hungry.” She insists once she had realised the fish is now done.

He smiles, and walks towards the circle to sit between his brother and littlest sister, Tuk.

As Neytiri handed out the food, and everyone making conversation of some type, Lo’ak leans a little closer to his older brother, a sly smirk on his face. “So you and y/n huh?

Neteyam pushes his face away with the palm of his hand, “shut up, bro.” He could deny that, but there’s no denying the smile he had on his face the rest of that night.

#neteyam sully #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam x you #atwow neteyam #neteyam #neteyam sully x you #neteyam x reader #atwow x reader #fluff #atwow

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thefallennightmare · 5 months

Text

One Night: Noah's POV-two

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings: lots of smut(mask play, spit play, bondage, anal, fingering, oral(m/f receiving), choking, unprotected sex), swearing, angst, fluff.

Summary: Noah's POV of his one night with Reader.

Authors Note: As previously mentioned, this is basically the same storyline as before just in Noah's POV! As of right now, it'll will be in three parts but might change.

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @sammyjoeee @shilohrosechicken @malice-ov-mercy @thebadchic @niicoleleigh @lma1986 @dsireland86 @bellaboo967 @cookiesupplier @whenthesummerdies @bngurngheart @laurpartyprogram @thisbicc @lyinginbetween @princessmarshmallowx @loeytuan98 @cncohshit @lacktoesandtoddlerants @notingridslurkaccount @calleyx13 @jessiskyee @mrscevans @spicywhenspeaking @myownthoughts12

I leaned back into the couch with my arm across the back, my fingers so close to Y/N’s shoulder. I could feel the heat radiating off of her and I could still taste her on my lips and tongue. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Y/N ran her hands over her thighs; one, two, three, four times. Every time.

A long sigh left my lips as I turned towards her, face giving away nothing of what happened between us.

“What?” Y/N asked as her eyes landed on my face.

“Why are you nervous?” I asked while nodding towards her hands.

“I wonder why,” She muttered before turning her attention back towards Britt.

Deciding not to press her more, I heeded Jolly’s direction about us getting ready since we were minutes away from our set starting. As I stood, my fingers crazed over the back of Y/N’s neck, her shivering under my touch. Just as I slipped into my jacket, Britt’s voice echoed in the room and I raised a confused brow towards the two girls who were having a hushed conversation on the couch. Y/N’s eyes flashed up to me before giving me her back.

Once dressed in all of my stage gear, I noticed Y/N standing off towards the corner of the room, away from curious ears and eyes, so I stalked up behind her breathing down her neck. She slowly turned on her heels and gazed up through me through lashes, her breath hitching as she caught sight of me in my mask. I analyzed the way she shifted on her feet and her tongue darted out to wet her lips before pulling them between her teeth.

My cock twitched as I let out a low cough. “So, did you think more of my idea?”

“Um, kind of,” Y/N took a small step back to give us more space. “I still have a few questions.”

I raised a brow. “Which are?”

She licked her lips again, and I wanted to drag my own teeth across them.

“Where would we do this? Just because I’m considering spending the night with you, doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with you in my apartment.”

“We’re staying in a hotel tonight.” I let out a soft chuckle. “We can spend it in my room.”

Y/N’s eyes dragged up every inch of me, lingering on my face for a few seconds too long.

“Do you like the mask, Y/N?” I questioned while cocking my head.

My voice came out low, full with desire, as I drank in the sight of her when she nodded, lip still caught between her teeth.

I leaned forward, my warm breath brushing over her ear. “I could wear it tonight, if you’re a good girl.”

A soft moan fell from her lips which made my eyes darken. Our gazes locked and the longer we watched on another, the thicker the sexual tension built between us.

“What’s your next question?” I asked while towering over her now, staring down at her small form; like prey stalking its next victim.

Y/N blinked while stuttering. “Uh-Is there anything off limits tonight?”

“You’ll have to be more specific, angel.”

I noticed the black choker around her neck and my cock pressed against the confines of my briefs when I hooked my finger around it. Y/N’s face was red as she cast her eyes down at her feet, her face so quiet I had to strain my ears to hear her.

“I’m into some things that others might think is weird; with sex.”

A low noise rumbled deep in my chest, the thought sending an electric shock throughout my body, With past partners, I could never express my secret desires because they were too afraid. But it seemed with Y/N, she was ready to give in to me.

“You’re not the only one,” I admitted.

A blush covered her face, and I marveled how cute she looked, the dark thoughts I had of her tied to the bed being forgotten for a few seconds.

“If I feel uncomfortable or want to stop, would you?” She asked.

“The second you ask me to, I will,” I answered without missing a beat. “Would it make you feel better if we had a safe word?”

Y/N raised a brow as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “How far are we going to go that we need a safe word?”

I sighed, tired of being too far from her and my arms around her back to pull her into my chest. I noticed how fast she was breathing as she avoided my gaze, peering over my shoulder to see if there was anyone with us.

“Angel,” I gripped her chin between my thumb and forefinger. “I keep thinking about all the things I get to do to you tonight if you say yes.”

She whimpered, eyes fluttering shut.

It was true. From the second she walked into the room, Y/N took my breath away. Even though she was quiet at first, clearly feeling out of place, she began to slowly break out of her shell. There was this aura encased around her that continued to pull me in; needing more of her.

“What would the safe word be?”

Her wavering voice broke me out of my thoughts, and I gently squeezed her hips. “Mercy.”

“Okay,” Y/N eventually agreed with a slow nod.

But before I could bask in the excitement of tonight, she spoke again. “One last question. Well, more of an agreement.”

I urged her on with a nod.

“Can we agree no feelings are to come out of this tonight? I just got out of a long relationship, the last thing I need is another one, especially with someone who is on the road a lot.”

My stomach dropped, but I did my best to hide my feelings underneath the mask.

“I’m not going to force you into anything, Y/N,” I reassured me.

“Okay.”

Y/N sprawled her hands over my chest and I knew she could feel how fast my heart was beating underneath her touch.

I was still in his embrace and sprawled my hands over his chest. His heart beat rapidly underneath my touch.

“Is that a yes?” I wondered, almost bouncing on my heels with anticipation.

Before she could answer, Jolly knocked as he entered the room, guitar strapped around him.

“You ready?” He directed towards me.

My eyes darted from Y/N to Jolly. “Yeah, sorry. I’m coming.”

“Britt is already waiting on side stage,” Jolly smiled towards Y/N as she stepped out of my embrace.

“Side stage? We’re not watching in the crowd?”

I let out a few deep breaths to center myself something I always did before walking out on stage.

“The crowd can get kind of crazy. Plus, you’ll be able to watch better from side stage,” Jolly spoke to Y/N.

Right before we walked out of the room, I gave Y/N’s hand a gentle squeeze, one she returned; almost as a silent answer to my earlier question. With my hood pulled over my eyes, I winked at her before leading her out of the room.

“Thank you, we’ll be right back,” I muttered into the microphone as an instrumental version of Miracle played, leading us into our two-minute break in our set.

Throughout the last handful of songs, I kept peering over towards the two women on side stage, almost making sure Y/N was still there. Even though she never gave me a physical answer, part of me worried she would have left. It could have been because of my trust issues from past relationships or having the people I cared about leave me behind, but I couldn’t stop making sure she was still there. This entire agreement between us could end one of two ways: Us parting amicably, neither of us hurt with saying goodbye. Or us walking away with lingering feelings that would destroy us.

I never was one to pray so instead, I tried to think of all the positives way this could end not the negatives. My mind never stopped working whether it was personal or work, I couldn’tstop the gears from turning. Meditation usually helped but at this moment as I gazed at Y/N as she smiled at me, I knew that she already had her hooks in me. The pain of releasing them would not be soon forgotten.

I walked up to her wiping the sweat off my forehead and took the water bottle she extended with a smile; drinking half of it in one go.

“Having fun?” I asked breathless.

Y/N nodded with a huge smile. “I’m glad I stayed.

“So am I.” I admitted while leaning down to her ear, only for her to hear. “I can still taste your cum on my lips.”

I was running back on stage before even giving Y/N a second to register my words.

Throwing a hoodie over me, I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. “I’ll meet you guys at the bus in the morning.”

Jolly raised a brow at me. “You’re not coming with to the movies?”

There was a late night showing of some Japanese movie at the local theater. While it did sound something that I would enjoy especially going on Reddit afterwards to see what everyone else was theorizing about the movie, I declined. There was something else waiting for me; hopefully.

“No, I’m going to head back to the hotel; rest up before tomorrow.” I ran a hand through my hair, trying to fix it.

“Right,” Folio snickered. “This has nothing to do with Y/N?”

My heart stuttered at the mention of her name as I shot my own accusatory gaze at him. “Isn’t Britt waiting for you right now?”

He gave me the finger before grabbing his things, leaving the green room. Nick was next to leave, not before making plans for us to grab breakfast before the bus left in the morning. Jolly, however, hung back to give me a look; one that I knew all too well.

“I know what I’m doing, Jolly,” I defended while clutching the strap of my bag.

His brows creased together. “Maybe but I don’t want you to wake up in the morning regretting this decision.”

“I won’t.” I answered simply.

Eventually, Jolly nodded, and we talked for a few more moments before I met up with Folio in the parking lot as we walked towards the two bodies waiting for us. My heart hammered hard in my chest as I saw Y/N standing next to Britt, her arms wrapped around herself for warmth. When our eyes locked, it was as if time slowed down, only the two of us mattered in the universe. I wasn’t one for that cliche type bullshit but couldn’t deny that’s how it felt every time I locked eyes with her; marveling at how different she looked than others as I analyzed parts about her.

The way her hair was pulled back in a tight braid showcasing the freckles that peppered her nose and cheeks. How bright her eyes looked under the moonlight as she gazed up at me as I stopped in front of her. The smile that made something twinge in my gut, catching sight of the one dimple in her left cheek.

“Ready?” Folio asked Britt once we were in front of them.

She nodded while lacing fingers with him then looked back to Y/N. “Are you sure you don’t need a ride?”

I wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into my chest and felt her body shift in surprise.

“I’ll make sure she gets home safe.”

Britt winked. “I’m sure you will, Noah.”

Just as we were about to say goodbye, Y/N held up her hands to Britt.

“Nope. You know I fucking hate that word.”

I stared down at her, still in my embrace, with a quirked brow.

“Anytime someone leaves that I plan on seeing again, I refuse to say goodbye. To me, it’s always see you later,” she explained.

There was something lingering there in the air, something she didn’t want to say, so I nodded as we waved towards Britt and Folio.

“You never gave me an answer,” I said once alone, pulling her closer into my chest.

She looked up at me under her lashes. “I think me staying here waiting for you was answer enough.”

A mischievous smile spread across my face before I lead her towards the hotel; explaining my decision when I noticed her pulled lips in confusion.

“Aren’t you worried about fans following you?”

I merely shrugged. “Most of them have left. The ones that are waiting around are hanging out on the other end of the parking lot. They won’t see us.”

Silence fell between us as we continued the short walk to the hotel, my arm never leaving her shoulders. It surprised me at how calm she was, not once fearing her safety while around me, so I chalked it up to being because Britt knew me previously and must have put in a good word for me.

I didn’t dare say thank you, not yet, since the last time she tried to set me up with someone it ended drastically.

We turned a corner, and the hotel came into view. It was late, nearly midnight, so there weren’t many people in the lobby as we entered.

Seven hours.

“Are you hungry?” I questioned once we stopped in front of the elevator.

She shook her head. “I’m okay.”

Once we both were in the private confines of the elevator, it slowly riding up to my floor, I wrapped my arms around Y/N from behind to burry my face in her neck, breathing her scent. She rested her head against my shoulder, eyes fluttering shut.

“Last chance to say no,” I muttered against her skin.

“I need this,” her words gave no pause or uncertainty.

I hummed before pressing light kisses from her neck to behind her ear. “Promise me something?”

“Depends on what it is,” she chuckled lightly.

I breathed, arms going stiff around her, this mere thought not sitting well with me. “Promise after tonight you won’t go back to that asshole?”

“As long as you don’t go back to whoever cheated on you,” Y/N shot back quietly.

Now anger festered for a completely different reason. Jolly mentioned it to everyone earlier that I found out about my ex cheating on me which didn’t bother me at first but it was the excessive posting online about our relationship that I didn’t like.

“Trust me, that won’t happen,” I grunted.

Y/N turned in my arms to wrap her arms around my neck, her fingers grazing through the ends. I almost let my eyes close with the calm feeling.

“I have one rule for tonight,” She started but halted, almost unsure with her words.

“Besides not catching feelings?” I joked with a crooked smile.

“Fine,” Y/N sighed defeated. “I have two rules. No feelings and I think in order to help that rule, we shouldn’t kiss tonight.”

My face fell, along with my heart, at hearing that because all night I couldn’t stop thinking about the way her lips would taste. Would they taste like the chapstick she applied during our set?

“Alright.” I nodded finally with a neutral face. “No feelings and no kissing. But remember what I said, no second thoughts or no regrets.”

The doors opened behind us and without turning her around; I led Y/N towards my room which was only two doors door from the elevator. Her eyes stared up at me, a small smirk playing on her lips as I was meters away from them, my breath fanning across them. I wanted so fucking bad to taste them; they looked so pink and full.

Sliding in the key card, the door clicked open and darkness encased around us once the door to my room shut. The silence that enveloped us was deafening. There was a golden glow radiating behind Y/N from the streetlamp outside and my breath hitched at how ethereal she looked.

A literal angel.

“Nervous?” My voice was quiet as I asked my question.

“No,” Y/N’s voice wavered, dropping her gaze from mine.

“Then why are you rubbing your hands on your thighs?”

She clasped her hands together then began bouncing on the soles of her feet.

“You need to relax, Y/N. I’m not going to hurt you,” I muttered while pressing her against the wall next to the door. “Unless, you want me too.”

I watched intently as she swallowed, stammering over her words. “Ye-yes.”

Fuck.

My dick was throbbing, aching for a release with the thought of Y/N’s lips around it.

“Do you remember the safe word?” I cocked my head to the side, predatory eyes drinking her in.

All she did was nod in return.

“Good,” My finger traced down her neck, over her collarbone.

My hand wrapped around her throat, gently at first because I didn’t know how much she could handle right off the bat; the pad of my thumb pressing hard against the pulse point. I could almost hear her erratic heartbeat in the silence of the room.

“Lay on the coffee table,” I ordered, voice suddenly turning dark with the sudden image that popped in my mind.

Spread open wide for me.

Y/N blinked rapidly “Wh-what?”

“Strip out of your shit and jeans then lay on the coffee table,” I repeated, mouth salivating with the thought of tasting her.

I fell to the bed behind Y/N, exhausted but yet so full of energy, and wrapped an arm around her bare waist, bringing her against my bare chest. Minutes after swallowing every last drop of me, my cock was already begging for more. I left a small kiss to the back of her shoulder while his hands ran up and down her hips, my eyes catching sight of the discarded mask on the floor.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to wear that mask again without picturing Y/N on her knees for me, hands tied behind her back with my belt.

“Ready for some more?” She teased when she felt my cock twitch against her ass.

I hummed while one of my hands slide up her stomach over her breast, my fingers pinching and pulling her nipple which caused her to lean her head back against my chest.

“So perfect,” I mused into her back

With one hand on her breast, I dragged a finger against her clit and began rubbing it in small circles. Y/N jerked with my touch and rubbed her ass against me.

I groaned as my cock brushed along her slick folds, almost slipping inside.

Y/N looked over her shoulder at me. “I thought it would be good to know that I have an implant. You know in case you were worried. I mean, we could still use a condom.”

The corner of my lips curled up in a hint of a smile with how fast her words left her lips; the ones I wanted to kiss so bad. Halting my movements on her clit for a second, I buried my face deep into the crook of her neck.

“I’m clean.” I assured her with a kiss.

It was true. With the women in the past, I used a condom every time. But with Y/N, something was different; I couldn’t explain it.

“So am I.”

“Good, because I want to feel everything.” I bit the skin behind her ear causing her to let out a low hiss.

I gripped her hips tightly to lift her slightly, my cock pressing against her pussy, my breath stuttering in my chest once I was completely inside of her; her walls pulsating as it adjusted to my length. Her moan echoed off the walls of the room while I lifted her to her knees so I kneeled behind her, never letting go of my grip on her hips as I made her sit on my lap. I didn’t move, simply enjoying the way she felt and how warm she was.

“Angel,” my breath came out strangled against her back as I tried to keep myself together.

“Please,” Y/N begged moving her hips. “I need you to move, please. Don’t worry about hurting me. I need it.”

Not wasting another second, knowing we were already pressed for time, I snapped my hips into her with no falter. Y/N rested her head against my shoulder, her hand immediately finding my hair, as I pulled myself almost all the way out, just leaving the tip inside of her, before slamming the full length into her. I did this a few times, Y/N almost falling over so I wrapped an arm around her stomach to keep her flushed against me. Our breathing were synced in short and shallow breaths.

“Oh yes,” her moan dragged on with sheer pleasure.

I rubbed at her swollen clit; up and down then side to side.

His finger pressed against my swollen nub and rubbed up and down then side to side.

“This pussy is mine tonight,” I grunted, enunciating each word with a thrust. “Say it.”

She pulled my hair, and I hissed with pleasure. “Yes, Noah. Yours, it’s yours.”

My thrusts stilled for a moment as I dragged my teeth across the skin of my back. “Fuck, I love the way you say my name. Say it again.”

Y/N did, over and over again, as she gripped my cock in almost a vice-like grip and I knew she was close.

Quickly, I switched our positions so she was on her back while I towered over her, setting her legs over my shoulder. I gave her a sly smirk as she whimpered when I didn’t slip inside her again.

“Don’t worry angel. I just want to see your face when you fall apart on my cock.”

With one quick snap of my hips, I spread Y/N open again, and she groaned out in pleasure. This new angle made me feel every inch of her and I let my head fall to her chest slightly.

“Your pussy is clenching around my cock, fuck angel. You’re going to cum,” I smacked the swell of her ass.

When I felt her clench again, I slapper her ass one more time; then three more after that with the fourth slap being exactly what she needed to finally cum. Her shout came out mixed with a groan of sheer pleasure while I fucked her fast through the aftershocks until my eyes shut, hips halting slightly.

Y/N brushed a thumb over my bottom lip as they parted, trying so hard not to cum; not yet. I didn’t want this feeling to end.

“Cum for me, Noah.”

Our eyes locked before I dipped my head towards her nipple so I could bite and suck then with one hard thrust, I grunted as I spilled myself inside of her.

“Y/N,” I breathed against before collapsing on top of her, her hands brushing back the hair from my face.

I hummed low, finally deciding to let the both of us rest for just a little while; we only had five hours left, and I didn’t want to waste it.

With a start, I woke and gazed up to the body I was lying on, heart thudded loudly. Y/N was asleep, lips parted as a soft snore fell from them. I rested my chin in my palm as I now looked down at her, fingers trailing up and down the tattoos on her arm. She didn’t have nearly as much as me. I didn’t miss the way as she analyzed almost every one of mine, curiosity filling her wondrous eyes.

Fuck, she was beautiful.

Strands of her hair fell along the pillow like a halo and it was then that I noticed she had one mole on the left side of her jaw. I pressed a soft kiss to it and as I pulled back, hovered over her lips. We were so close, and I wrapped my hand behind her neck, tilting her lips closer towards mine; brushing them together. It wasn’t a full kiss but just enough to send a shock throughout my entire soul.

“What have you done to me, angel?” I breathed while letting her head fall back to the pillow.

I kissed my way down her neck, in between her breasts, over her navel, then stopped when I reached her clit. There was a fiery hunger festering deep within me, something that started from the moment our eyes connected for the first time in the green room, but no matter how many hits I took of her; I feared it wasn't enough.

I don’t think it’d ever be enough.

The tip of my tongue flicked against her, almost not expecting a reaction, but when I sunk two fingers deep inside her, Y/N’s body jerked awake with a soft moan; the noise going straight to my cock.

“Hm, this is a great wake up call,” She moaned while arching her back off the bed.

After biting her clit, I leaned over her while my fingers still pumped in and out of her in a slow, meticulous pace.

“I couldn’t stop myself. You looked so fucking beautiful laying there.” I admitted.

Y/N tried to hide her face into the pillow which made me grasped her chin with a forceful touch.

“Don’t hide from me, angel,” I demanded while looking directly into her eyes.

We both held each other's gazes as my fingers earned her body yet another release, this orgasm not as loud or nerve ending as the others. I knew she was exhausted, her throat raw from all of noises she previously made, but her body ruined, regardless. Y/N watched me with fire in her eyes and I brought my fingers wet with her arousal to my lips, licking them clean. I hummed in approval, the taste tasting sweet but tangy on my tongue.

I’m going to miss the way she tastes.

“I think you’ve wrecked me,” she exhaled.

With one swift moment, I pulled her into my chest and wrapped her leg around my waist; us being locked in place.

“We slept for an hour.”

My fingers tangled through the long strands of her hair as I stared up at the ceiling, other hand propping my head up. Her gaze was hot on my skin as she accessed my tattoos once again. I let the silence fill the void, my thoughts running rampant. It was hard to shut the doubt out; it always was.

No one knew what would happen in less than four hours when the curtains called the time. I thought about asking her to stay longer but knew that was a line she didn’t want crossed. We both agreed that this was only to last one night and to ask her to stay only for my own selfish reasons was wrong.

“Did this hurt?”

Her soft voice broke me from my thoughts and I realized my fingers were tracing the tattoo on the back of her shoulder while her own fingers were dancing across the tattoo on my neck.

“Like a bitch,” I admitted.

“Which one is your favorite?” Y/N wondered while looking up from tracing the tattoo on my stomach.

To be honest, I didn’t think I had a favorite but at the moment; I propped my thigh up to show her my Naruto tattoo.

She smiled, even though she was confused at the design. “Which one is your biggest?”

I couldn’t help but wiggle my eyebrows at the innuendo which made Y/N smack my chest. “I mean tattoo, you perv.”

Sitting up in bed, I held her thigh close to my hips as I showed her the Jesus tattoo on my back; her shocked breath tickling my ears. The size of the tattoo always shocked people before the design actually did.

I turned over towards her and leaned over her while her hands wrapped around my neck, our lips almost ghosting over each other; fuck, I wanted to taste them so bad.

“Do you want to be a good girl for me?” I questioned with a low voice.

When she nodded, I motioned to the door that let out to the balcony of my hotel room. “Go outside and wait for me.”

“What?” Y/N’s brows furrowed. “It’s the middle of the night. What if someone see’s us?”

I shrugged while brushing my nose along her jawline. “You said it yourself. It’s the middle of the night, no one will be out there. Now, get your perfect ass outside and wait for me.”

Crawling off of her, I dismissed her with a swift pat on the ass, her squealing in delight while she scrambled from the bed. My eyes burned as I watched to make sure she was outside before rummaging through my suitcase. I couldn’t explain why I ended up packing lube but there was something in the back of my mind telling me I needed too. I had no plan on having sex with anyone this tour but just like with everything else, Y/N ended up sneaking her way past the walls I built to protect myself.

With the lube in my hand, I was ready to walk outside when I heard my phone buzz from its spot on the coffee table in the room. I snuck a glance towards Y/N, who was resting her elbows on the railing, gazing down at the street below. I found myself getting lost in her presence yet again until my phone buzzed for a second time so reluctantly I reached for it, thinking it was one of the guys.

Instead of my background on my phone, I was staring at something else entirely different. It was an artist drawing of a girl with feathers in her hair and wolf escaping from the back of her neck.

“Sick,” I muttered, realizing it must have been Y/N’s phone I grabbed and was ready to set it back down when a text popped up on screen.

UNKNOWN: Hey baby, it’s Jacob. I got a new number. Call me in the morning, maybe we can go out for breakfast.

I swallowed thickly as I tried not to think too much of this. It wasn’t any of my business what Y/N did once she left here but the mere thought of her meeting up with him made my fingers twitch around the phone.

UNKNOWN: I hope you’re not with that guy from earlier. I bet he can't even show you a great time. Not the way I have.

Rolling my eyes, I set the phone back on the table and let out three long, deep breaths to help calm my anger and center myself. It would have to do since I didn’t have enough time to open up my Calm up for a meditation clip. Once I felt my heart rate ease to a slow, steady pace, I finally walked outside, letting the cool night air chill my heated skin as I walked up behind Y/N.

“Keep your legs straight but bend over the railing,” I rasped into her ear.

I smirked as she obeyed, pressing her ass into my semi hard cock, and I kicked her feet farther apart. My hand dragged along her spine before stopping at the tight hole between her ass; Y/N freezing underneath my touch.

“Has anyone ever taken you here?” I breathed against her neck while I loomed over her back.

When she shook her head, I spread her cheeks farther apart, the thought of being the first making my cock twitch with excitement and heart swell with pride. I had every intention of taking her this way, as long as she let me, but after mistakingly seeing those texts on her phone I needed it more than ever.

Y/N squirmed in my touch. “Won’t it hurt?”

“I’ll go real slow, angel. And I have lube,” I left a gentle kiss on her cheek before showing her the bottle in my hand.

Her curious eyes darted from the bottle to my face before nodding slowly.

“Okay.”

My cock jumped as I popped open the bottle, squirting the liquid down her ass.

“You’ll have to relax. I’ll be able to slide in easier if you’re not tensing, okay?” I spoke softly, hoping my voice would ease away her tension.

When she nodded, I eased her tight hole with one finger, going about knuckle deep before a hiss fell from her lips. I eased my finger back until she almost whined, pressing her ass deeper against me. Slowly, I worked her open even more by adding a second finger. Y/N’s head was turned to watch me as my gaze was locked on her ass, watching my fingers pump in and out of her until I pulled out of her completely, spitting in my hand.

My eyes snapped up to hers. “Safe word?”

Y/N gave me a warm smile. “Fuck my ass, Noah.”

I groaned. “Anything for you, angel.”

As the head of my cock pressed into her hole, Y/N tensed up under my hands that were gripping her hips. There was still some slight resistance, but the lube had clattered to the floor out of my reach so instead, I spit between her ass cheeks; the moan that crawled out of her throat were the ones that made your body shiver with delight.

“You like it when I spit on you?” I asked while pressing a little deeper inside of her.

“Yes,” she hummed.

Once completely sheathed inside of her, I rested my forehead against her back while I thrusted against her ass in long and deep thrusts. The tightness on my cock was nearing me closer to my orgasm, it burning at the base of my spine. The tension in my stomach was unbearable, almost as if I couldn’t breathe.

“Touch yourself,” I rasped, gone in my ecstasy.

Y/N obeyed by pressing two fingers against her clit, and I freed one hand from her hip to wrap it around her throat, pulling her flush against my chest; the new angle making me see stars.

“Such a whore for my cock.”

My grip around her throat was tight but not enough to cut off oxygen; just right.

“Yes, Noah.” She agreed.

I dug my teeth deep into the skin of her neck, leaving yet another bruising mark. All night, I’d been leaving marks across her neck, back, chest, and hips to mark what was mine.

Yours? How so?

“My whore. My angel,” I grunted, ignoring the thoughts in my mind, and my hips stilled when the orgasm ripped through me, exploding in a white haze of ecstasy.

“Yours,” Y/N called out before falling limp in my embrace.

With a yawn, I threw on a sweater while slipping into my slides and stared down at the sleeping form of Y/N. She laid sprawled out on the bed, sheet wrapped loosely around her lower half as a leg stuck out to hang off the bed. Her bare back was to me and I drank in the side of the various bite marks and scratches.

It was nearing 4:30 in the morning and as she slept; I planned on walking over to the twenty-four-hour diner across the street from the hotel to grab us something to eat. Even though our time together was dwindling down, I wanted to make sure Y/N ate something. We were using a lot of energy the last few hours; she needed to gain it back somehow.

After our time outside, I dragged her back inside and threw her onto the couch.

Y/N gave me a cheeky smile. “Your stamina is extremely hard to keep up with.”

“What?” I teased while pulling her down to my lap as I sat. “Giving up on me, already? We still have four hours left.”

With her straddling my lap, Y/N eased down on my cock and my head fell back against the couch. My neck exposed to her, it was her turn to leave various bites along my pulse point as she raised herself most of the way off of me before sinking down complete.

“Shit, angel.”

I went to grab her hips, but she held my hands along the top of the couch, keeping them in place so I couldn’t touch her.

Y/N rode me in such a steady, erratic pace, that my orgasm was nearing its crest, cock pulsing inside of her, and she hummed in satisfaction. Her tits bounced with every rise and fall of her hips and I desperately wanted to grab them in my hands.

“Just watch,” she said in between breaths.

Easily I could have overpowered her, but I liked how gorgeous she looked like this; tits out, head titled back in pure pleasure, and my cock spearing her open.

Y/N made a soft noise in her sleep as I shook my head from the memories of less than an hour ago to stand there for a few more moments, watching her sleep. Her hair covered her face, so I gently brushed it back to leave a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I’ll be back soon, angel.”

Two bags of food in my hand, I exited the elevator with new found worry and I neared my hotel room. I was only gone for thirty minutes but as the clock on my phone practically screamed at me 5:00 A.M. I knew that there was still so much left to do in two hours. As I shut the door behind me, the sound must have woken Y/N because she slowly stirred while sitting up in bed.

“Hi,” I smiled while setting the food on the table. “I grabbed us some food.”

She stiffened a yawn behind her hand before running it through her hair. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Fuck, even her sleepy voice turned me on.

I shrugged while setting out the foam containers full of pancakes, waffles, and scrambled eggs with toast. Then I grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and placed them on the table as Y/N sank low into one chair, bedsheet clutched tightly to her chest.

“Feeling modest now?” I joked while setting a little of everything in front of her.

She mocked me by laughing. “No, it’s cold in here and I feel weird being naked while you’re dressed.”

I sat across from her as we ate in silence for the first long while, both of us scarfing down almost all of our food. Once I finished, I placed some of my hair in a bun while resting my chin in my hand, watching Y/N as she picked apart a loose thread on the bedsheet.

“What’s on your mind?”

She jerked slightly at my voice. “Uh, nothing important. Just work.”

I could see past her lie but decided not to press too much into it. “What do you do for work?”

“I-uh-I’m an author.”

“Why the hesitation?” I noticed.

Y/N shrugged. “Every time I tell people I’m an author they give me the typical that’s not a career look. But it’s the only thing I love to do. I’ve tried other things and hated it. But not writing, it’s never let me down.”

I couldn't stop the grin that pulled at my lips, completely understanding where she was coming from.

“That’s how I am with the band. Music was the only thing I knew growing up. I remember downloading this mixing program on my grandparents old ass computer and I thought for sure I’d get in trouble when they found out,” I smiled at the old memory.

“Did you live with your grandparent?” Y/N asked while she pulled her knees to her chest, sheet still clutched against her.

I swallowed before nodding, easing back into my chair. “After my dad died, I stayed with my mom but our relationship wasn’t the greatest so I bounced back and forth between the two places; when I wasn’t staying with my friends.”

“Uh,” she shifted in her chair. “I lost my parents a few years ago; car crash. That’s why I hate saying goodbye.”

Not wanting to go into further detail about my own parents' death even though we related somehow, I remembered back to last night when we said goodbye to Britt and Folio, Y/N refusing to say goodbye. Suddenly, it made sense. She didn’t want to say goodbye in case it was the last time she saw someone.

With my finger pressed to my forehead, I changed the subject by telling Y/N all about how Bad Omens first started, her watching with a fond smile. She reached for my hand at one point, trailing a finger over the letters I had tattooed on the side of it; my shoulders going rigid as she spelled out the letters.

“K. E. A. T. O. N.”

I let out a low cough. “What is this? A spelling bee?”

She playfully narrowed her eyes before linking our fingers together. “Shut up. You also have Pierce tattooed on your other hand.”

“Yeah, Keaton Pierce. He was one of my best friends, he passed away last March. He also was the vocalist for the band Too Close To Touch.”

Her lips parted. “Oh, shit. I knew it sounded familiar. I’ve heard a few of their songs. I’m sorry, Noah. I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

Since our hands were still linked, I pulled her from the chair as I stood, wrapping her into my embrace. “It’s alright. I don’t mind talking about him.”

“He must have meant a lot to you if you have his name tattooed,” Y/N had one hand pressed to keep the sheet against her while the other played with the string of my hoodie.

“Losing him was one of the hardest losses, I think. Besides my parents, and grandfather.”

She sucked in a breath and I knew what was coming: Oh, no. You’ve lost so many people. I’m sorry.

It was the same bullshit that everyone said anytime I mentioned all the people in my life that died.

“Well, I wonder what he would have had to say about our little arrangement tonight. Think he would give you advice on how this could have been a stupid idea?”

I snorted, almost shocked she didn’t go the typical route. “Keaton would be fucking proud that I got a girl like you to agree to spend a night with me.”

Y/N rolled her eyes while smacking my chest, a red hue crossing her features. “I’m nothing special.”

I lifted her chin with my knuckle, tired eyes gazing up at me. “I don’t agree with that.”

“Uh,” she swallowed. “We have less than two hours left.”

Deciding not to bring up how fast she changed the subject, I nodded while pulling her towards the bathroom.

“What are you doing?”

I led her into the large bathroom and motioned for her to sit on the bathroom counter. “I’m going to run us a bath.”

“Oh, how romantic,” Y/N smirked while letting the sheet finally fall to the floor and propping herself up on the bathroom counter.

Dark, hungry eyes, watched as she spread her legs wide to show me the slickness between her legs. Not removing my eyes from her, I felt for the faucet of the tub and set the perfect temperature after plugging the drain.

“Spread them wider, angel,” I ordered while crawling over to her.

Y/N bit her lip at the sight of me but obeyed with hands on her knees, keeping her legs spread wide for me.

My fingers dug deep into the skin of her thighs as I dragged her closer to the edge, the sound of skin on cool granite echoing in the room. Without anymore hesitation, my tongue darted out to lap at the wetness pooling between her legs and I hummed in delight.

“Taste better than breakfast.”

She rested her head against the mirror while running a hand through my hair, guiding me back to her pussy. Her mewls of pleasure and moans of praise made me work harder to bring her to euphoric bliss once again. My teeth grazing over her clit after my tongue speared inside of her; over and over.

“No-Noah,” she said through gritted teeth.

I hummed against the inside of her thigh.

“Can you suck on it?” She asked breathless. “I love when you do that.”

My eyes snapped up to her, catching the most angelic sight; Y/N was rolling a nipple between her fingers with her free hand, the other still tangled in my messy locks, while her head fell back with parted lips. Doing as she so gratefully asked, I wrapped my lips around her clit and sucked until her moans of an orgasm rang beautifully in my ears, arousal coating my lips and tongue.

I rose to my full height, towering over her with my hair falling into my eyes as I ghosted my lips over hers, so desperately wanting to taste them. I needed it more than fucking oxygen at this point.

Y/N’s hands clawed at my clothes, muttering one word under her breath.

Off.

Hastily ripping off my sweater than sweat pants and briefs, I stood in front of Y/N again, under her accessing gaze.

“Fuck, Noah,” she breathed. “You’ve completely ruined any other guy for me.”

Pride filled me as a cocky grin pulled at my lips. “That was the plan, angel.”

Y/N jumped off the counter and pushed me to sit on the edge of the tub, me almost stumbling over my long limbs do to the force.

“I want to suck your cock, Noah,” she practically begged.

My cock stood straight up, little beads of pre-cum gathered at the small slit, and I ran a finger through it before spreading it over Y/N’s lips as she kneeled in front of me.

“All of it,” I demanded, sticking my finger deep into her throat.

She hummed as she sucked the entire length of my finger, eagerly swallowing my arousal down her throat. A loud pop echoed through the room when I removed my finger and grasped the back of her head. With one hand tangled in her hair, the other grasped the base of my cock and I forced her down towards it.

“Fuck,” I strangled a few other curses when the head of my cock hit the resistance of the back of her throat.

Y/N didn't even twitch or gag, simply bobbed her head up and down, taking my balls into her hand to squeeze. My hands grasped the edge of the tub, the water slowly rising to the edge, but that didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered to me was this beautiful girl on her knees, mouth stuffed full of my cock.

“Angel, right there,” I grasped her chin to keep her locked in place, her tongue flattening against the underneath of my cock. “Be a good girl and keep in place while I fuck this pretty little mouth.

Tears stained her cheeks, makeup running down her face, when she gazed up at me to nod. With a groan, I began fucking her throat, Y/N gagging quietly but never once stopping me. She made the comment earlier about how every other guy is ruined for her but little did she know any other women that tried to get my attention wouldn’t matter. My heart belonged to her more than just tonight. If she wanted it, she could have it.

“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” I rushed out, the feeling of a burning orgasm wrapping itself around me, encasing me with the sudden rush of heat.

Y/N did the best to nod with my tight grip in her hair, my hips continuing to fuck up into her face, and I hissed out in pleasure when her nails dug deep into the skin of my thighs. I could hear now her choking over the running water and I froze momentarily.

“Safe word?”

Quickly she shook her head then urged me to continue with a gentle smack to my thigh. So taking that as permission to continue, I forced her head all the way down on my cock so she could swallow every single inch of me; my balls resting against her chin.

Her name came out in a choked moan as I finally spilled myself deep inside of her throat, her humming in delicious delight as she drank every last drop.

Twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes until this girl would leave my life, not knowing the ramifications it would entail for me. But that’s what we agreed to; one night, no feelings, no regrets, and no kissing. Much to my dismay, it’s what Y/N wanted and I couldn’t deny her that.

“Noah, what are you doing?” She giggled as I carried her from the bathtub to the bed, water dripping from our still soaked bodies.

I tossed her onto the bed before climbing over her, spreading her legs apart with a forceful knee. “I want one last orgasm from you, angel. Think you can do that for me?”

We both were spent, body aching and screaming, but we couldn’t deny each other this. One final time.

I wrapped her leg around my back then lined my cock against her entrance, brown eyes locked hers as I slipped between her folds, the familiarity almost making me cum right on the spot.

Fuck, I would miss this. And her.

Y/N arched herself off the bed, her chest pressing against mine and with this new angel, I slowed to almost a stop, wanting to savor these final few moments locked together. I flicked my tongue over her nipple teasing at pulling with teeth before shifting over to the other one mimicking my actions. The pad of my thumb teased at her clit as I pulled most of the way out of her, Y/N’s arousal glistening on me in the light of the rising sun.

“Noah, I’m going to-.”

“Look at me, angel,” I grunted when I noticed her eyes were screwed shut. “Open your eyes and look at me.”

When she did, I stared down at her with so much adoration filling my iris’ and when our lips brushed lightly together, I couldn’t hold myself back any longer; I needed to know what they tasted like. Our lips finally crashed against each other, both of us moaning into each other's mouths. I didn’t miss a beat, our tongues dancing together in perfect harmony. Y/N’s lips molded perfectly against mine, almost as if we were soulmates separated at creation. It was a desperate kiss, teeth smacking against each other, and I bit down on her bottom lip as my thrusts became erratic then with a shuddering scream, we both fell apart together.

We lay there in our post daze of bliss for a long moment of silence. My forehead resting against hers. Just as I was about to steal another kiss, the alarm I set for seven a.m broke the glass of the house we created to protect us from reality.

Regretfully, I rolled off of Y/N to shut off the alarm, mentally building back up the walls I let down for her as I stepped into a pair of sweats, opting to not put on a shirt. Turning on my heels, it almost shocked me to see how fast Y/N dressed, almost walking towards the door. My heart sunk low, realizing she had her hand resting on the doorknob.

“Seven a.m.” I nodded.

Y/N bounced on the soles of her feet. “Yep. I don’t know if I should say thank you or something.”

I couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from my lips. “Trust me, angel. You helped me just as much I did you so there’s no need to thank me.”

She nodded, an uncomfortable silence falling between us for the first time tonight. I wanted her to stay, to say fuck it for our rules. None of that mattered anymore. She could stay for a few more hours and we could discuss things.

Discuss what? You heard her, Y/N doesn’t want a relationship. She only wanted sex.

“Did you need me to call you an Uber or something?” I asked, blocking out the negative thoughts.

“Already taken care of,” Y/N held up her phone.

See? Clearly she wants to leave; let her.

“So then,” I coughed. “I guess I’ll see you around?”

Y/N didn’t answer me right away, instead opened the door and when she looked back over her shoulder at me, my dulled eyes almost begging her to come back inside. The word danced on my tongue.

Stay, please stay with me. We’ll figure it out.

“Goodbye, Noah,” she shook her head before slipping from the room, the door closing slowly behind her.

Now alone for the first time in twelve hours, I let my eyes flutter shut, a broken sob crawling its way out of my chest.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens #bad omens reader

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tinyundercover · 1 month

Text

pepper & felix

part eleven

the aftermath of last night word count: 2.5k

Felix stared at the ceiling, vaguely aware of the alarm beeping on his nightstand.

It was grating to his ears. Internally, he knew that he needed to get ready for class, but the events of last night simply refused to leave his mind. Stressful memories weighed down on him like a rock, leaving him motionless in his bed.

Pepper is my soulmate.

The voice in his mind and the borrower in his walls were the same person. It was comforting to finally have an explanation for his strange feelings towards Pepper, and why he always felt so drawn to him… but at the same time, it was hard not to feel absolutely terrified.

A month ago, he didn’t even know that borrowers existed. Worry fluttered around Felix’s chest as he wondered how they would possibly further their relationship, considering their vast size difference and the uncomfortable power imbalance between them. He had only held Pepper a few times, and he had been wracked with anxiety every single time. Now, he wasn’t just putting the life of a borrower in his hands, but his soulmate’s.

…And what was he supposed to tell his friends and family?

Felix sighed heavily, drawing his blanket further to him. Part of him wished he had stayed at Alice’s place yesterday to explain everything to her, but he hadn’t wanted to keep the borrowers there any longer. Today, he would have to talk to Alice alone and explain the situation without putting Pepper and his sister in more danger.

A sleepy, familiar voice suddenly floated into his mind, disrupting his thoughts. “Your alarm is going off.”

Felix sat up abruptly, finally registering the consistent beeping that filled the room. With a flush he leaned over, shutting off his alarm, then brought his hands to his chest. “Sorry. I was thinking.”

“About me, I hope,” Pepper said sleepily. A second later he added, “Basil says hi.”

It took a moment for Felix to register who “Basil” was. He drummed his fingers over his chest, curious, wondering if Pepper had meant to share his sister’s name or if it had slipped out by accident.

His lips twitched into a smile. “Tell her I said hi.”

“Mhmmm.”

Pepper’s voice had already drifted off into exhaustion. A warm feeling swirled around Felix’s chest, and as he got out of he bed, he tried to remain quiet for his small, sleeping guests.

——

Sunlight filtered through the window, dappling the floor of the hallway in yellow. Felix waited against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, checking his phone every few minutes.

Alice had agreed to meet him here, but as time stretched on, Felix was beginning to doubt her. His stomach twisted in a mixture of fear and guilt, and he prayed that Alice would at least be willing to listen. They had been friends for almost three years. He wanted more than anything to give her the benefit of the doubt.

“Hey.”

Felix glanced up, heart skipping a beat when he caught sight of Alice approaching. Her expression was empty, but Felix couldn’t help but notice the tightness of her hand around the strap of her bookbag.

“Alice,” Felix said in relief, straightening up. “Hi.”

She stopped a few feet away and leaned against the wall, crossing her arms. Her blue eyes danced over his form before meeting his gaze again. She said nothing, clearly expecting him to talk first.

“Did you tell anyone about them?” Felix asked before he could stop himself.

Dark lashes blinked. “...Why would I do that?” Alice responded after a moment, tilting her head. Felix still couldn’t read her emotions. “No one would believe me.”

Relief rushed into Felix’s chest, and he exhaled, nodding. “Good. Thank you. They’re not supposed to—”

“What the hell happened last night?” Alice cut him off, exasperation seeping into her tone. “Seriously, what the fuck?”

Felix immediately faltered. He supposed that was a fair reaction, but he still wasn’t prepared for her sudden frustration. “It’s— it’s a lot to explain.”

Alice raised her eyebrows.

“They’re just people,” Felix clarified, fiddling his thumbs and frowning. “But… a lot smaller. They’re not, like, dangerous or anything. Just people.”

“Well, obviously,” Alice pointed out. “I just want to know what they were doing in your apartment.”

Felix found himself at a loss for words. How much was he allowed to share with Alice without putting the existence of borrowers in any more danger?

“They’re my friends,” he said slowly.

Alice stared for a moment, eyebrows lifting. “You’re… actually friends with them?”

Felix frowned and nodded, and Alice crossed her arms, brow furrowing again. “Oh. When they said they were your friends, I… I thought they were lying. It’s not like you’ve ever told anyone about them.” She peered closer at Felix, eyes icy. “Why didn’t you tell me? Or Breanna? Owen?”

Warmth spread through Felix’s chest, a bit flustered to hear that the borrowers had referred to themselves as his friends. He then hardened his expression as he processed Alice’s other words, the warmth fading. “They’re a secret,” he pointed out. “Humans aren’t supposed to know about them because when they do they put them in jars.”

The anger entered his voice without meaning to. Alice stepped back, hurt etched in her expression. “What else was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know– talk to them?”

“I tried to!” Alice exclaimed. “They just freaked out!”

“Alice,” Felix exhaled, momentarily pressing his fingertips to his temples, “they’re three inches tall. Just think about what we look like to them. Of course they would freak out– they were probably scared of you.”

“I barely touched them.”

Felix blinked, processing her words. Heat filled his chest, hot and angry. “Are you serious?”

“I mean– I put them in my pocket for a second, and then I put them in that jar, but that’s–”

“You hurt them!” Felix retorted before he could stop himself. Alice jumped. “Didn’t you see the bruise on Ba– on that girl’s face?”

Silence stretched between them for several seconds. Alice’s face fell, blinking rapidly. “That was an accident. She fell when she was in the jar.”

“That you put them in,” Felix objected, features sharp.

Alice stared at him, lips slightly parted, brow furrowed. Felix could sense the frustration floating off of her, and guilt instinctively crept its way into his chest past his own anger. He hadn’t meant for this to turn into an accusation.

It was hard for him to truly believe that Alice would intentionally harm either borrower beyond repair. As difficult as Alice was being, Felix understood that she was just confused about last night’s events. He couldn’t exactly blame her for acting irrationally towards the borrowers when she didn’t even know that they existed until twelve hours ago. (It’s not like his first interaction with Pepper had gone smoothly, either.)

Alice tended to maintain a tough, closed-off persona, which Felix usually found admirable. Unfortunately, Alice’s attitude meant that strangers tended to think she was cold-hearted– so Felix couldn’t even imagine how a borrower might perceive her, with every one of her actions amplified tenfold. Honestly, if Felix was three inches tall, he would be positively terrified of her.

Felix took a deep breath, focusing on Alice again. “Just… just please don’t tell anyone about them,” he said finally. “That’s all. I’m sorry you got mixed up in this.”

Alice said nothing.

—

“But did she say sorry?” Pepper demanded.

The borrower had his palms pressed to the back of his neck, pacing back and forth across the counter, mindful of the large knife being wielded only a foot away. Felix was chopping tomatoes on a cutting board, and although his eyes were focused on the knife, he was paying attention to what Pepper was saying.

“I think she feels bad,” Felix responded after a moment, brow furrowing.

“She should feel bad,” Pepper grumbled. “She could have killed us.” The memories of being shaken around a jar flashed through his mind, and he instinctively dropped his hands to hug himself, shuddering at the distant feeling of his joints slamming into solid glass.

Felix spared him a glance, eyes searching his small form, before turning back to the cutting board. “Ah… is your sister doing okay?” His voice was light.

Pepper stopped pacing and peered up at Felix. “She’s okay. She’s been sleeping all day, actually, but she’s overdue for some rest.” A miserable thought entered his mind, and he frowned, registering for the first time this evening that he was holding a conversation with a giant. “You know, yesterday was the first time she’s ever been seen by a human.”

Worry crossed Felix’s face. “Oh. That… that must have been awful.”

“It was.” Pepper nodded dejectedly, unable to sugarcoat it if he tried. “I mean, I was terrified, and I actually have experience with humans.” He gestured vaguely to Felix, who had abandoned the cutting board and was now giving Pepper his full attention. “But it was all new for her. It had to be so… overwhelming.”

The borrower sighed, gaze wandering to Felix’s hand, which was resting on the handle of the massive knife. “Being grabbed is not fun.” He shuddered at the memories of being trapped in an unrelenting grip, arms painfully pressed into his ribs. “You’re— you’re completely helpless, and when you’re against someone so much bigger than you it’s terrifying. It’s— it’s just…”

He trailed off at Felix’s wide-eyed expression. A twinge of guilt entered Pepper’s chest at the memory of their first meeting, and he shifted on his feet. “I’m really lucky that you’re nice,” Pepper added as an afterthought. Felix said nothing.

Felix remained quiet for the remainder of the cooking process, occasionally nodding or humming in response to Pepper’s rambling. Part of Pepper felt guilty for insulting Felix’s friend over and over again, but in his defense, she had literally kidnapped him.

In all honesty, it was just nice to spend some time with Felix alone.

“What are you making?” Pepper asked finally. Felix had moved further down the corner to where the stove was, turning the heat on. The occasional click or clang of Felix’s cooking equipment made Pepper a little dizzy, but he ignored it.

“Pasta,” Felix replied, holding up an uncooked piece of rigatoni before dropping it into a large pot. A flush crossed Felix’s face suddenly. “I, um, I thought these pieces might be easier for you to take home with you.”

Something fluttered in Pepper’s chest, warm and surprised. A small part of him— his defensive, primal instinct— hissed at him for taking handouts from a human.

But at the same time, it was a nice feeling to be considered in something as insignificant as dinner.

“Thank you,” Pepper said breathlessly.

As Felix stirred a wooden spoon into the pot, Pepper began his trek along the counter. Felix had moved the cutting board away after he had scraped the diced tomatoes into a pan, opening up Pepper’s path towards the stovetop.

As he approached, the heat from the humming stove was startling. Pepper had watched Felix cook for a year, but he had always been hidden away in the walls. This was the closest he had ever been to the stove while it was on.

A small gap, about half an inch long, was nestled between the edge of the gray countertop and the smooth white surface of the stove. On the burner closest to Pepper was a wide black pan, and although Pepper couldn’t see the pasta sauce within it, he could certainly smell it. Past the pan was a tall pot, bubbling with water.

The cooking process had become surprisingly loud in the last few minutes. Unable to quell his curiosity, Pepper stood up on his toes at the edge of the gap, trying to peer into the pan which contained the pasta sauce.

Felix caught his eye, and although Pepper trusted his own instincts, Felix certainly didn’t.

“Wh— hey,” Pepper objected, suppressing a flinch as Felix’s large hand suddenly approached. Alarm bells rang in his mind, and on instinct he dropped back into his heels.

Felix hadn’t touched him all day, hadn’t even tried. The last thing Pepper had expected at this moment was for Felix to grab him, especially after what happened last night.

But Felix didn’t grab him. The human barely even looked at him, blue gaze distractedly shifting from the small borrower back to the stovetop. Pepper blinked in surprise as the back of Felix’s knuckles bumped into his chest, slightly curled inward, gently nudging the borrower away from the stove. Pepper’s small hands landed on Felix’s forefinger for stability.

“Careful,” Felix murmured, withdrawing his hand and turning his attention fully back to the boiling pot of water.

Pepper blinked. His own hands floated in the air, empty and useless. He hadn’t expected the gentle touch from Felix, nor had he expected it to vanish seconds later, feeling strangely empty.

So much power resided within Felix’s hand. Pepper had felt the sheer force radiating from those fingers, each one surpassing him in height, and inwardly he knew that Felix could have done anything he wanted. Felix could have snatched Pepper up or swatted him away without even batting an eye, but the knuckles against Pepper’s chest had been soft, careful, gentle.

Felix was humming to himself, clearly not aware of how significant his action had appeared to Pepper. The borrower stared up at him, heart fluttering, suddenly in awe of the calculated way Felix was moving his hands around as he cooked.

It’s not like Pepper had actually been in danger. As a borrower, he knew better than to stand at the edge of the counter without paying close attention to where he placed his feet.

Still, as he stared up at his soulmate, he felt incredibly touched.

——

The empty jar was still sitting on Alice’s counter, sticking out like a sore thumb. She hadn’t touched it since last night.

It was hard not to stare at it. She leaned against the wall opposite to the counter, a glass of water in hand, the room silent aside from the faint hum of the kitchen light.

She couldn’t sleep.

She hadn’t been able to sleep last night, either, not since Felix had left her apartment with two tiny people in hand.

The jar seemed to taunt Alice. It was on its side, left there after Felix had tipped it to free the tiny people inside. If Alice looked closely, she could see the smattering of tiny handprints on the glass, each one smaller than her fingernail, and she could only wonder what the tiny people were doing now.

Her phone was in her hand before she could think about it, her thumb hovering over Felix’s contact, and she briefly thought back to how it had felt to hold two entire people in a fist. Her nose scrunched, and she stared down at her phone’s glowing screen, unable to move a muscle.

With a heavy breath she finally turned her phone off and slipped it into her pocket.

She’ll see Felix tomorrow at their first rehearsal, anyway.

------

tysm for reading!! <3

@smallsday @compact-katrina @satethesatelite @taters169 @entomolog-t @gtzel @gt-newbie @da3dm

#pepper & felix #g/t #g/t writing

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shirefantasies · 4 days

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Hiii!!! I love your works so so much, you're truly amazing!! I would like to make a request if that's fine with you. I would like to request Thorin's company with a reader that is afraid of heights. You don't have to do it if you don't want to, it was just a stupid idea that crossed my mind. If you do decide to do it, take as much time as you want and thank you so so much!! Again love your works, your way of writing and the way you portray the characters!!

Thanks pal 🥰 for your kind words and for being one of the longest-standing members of this blog's taglist! It's funny because someone else sent this in for LoTR a while back so it is not at all stupid, quite a common ask~

Warnings: canon typical peril, suggestive jokes in one

Thorin's Company + Your Fear of Heights

Balin

“Look at the river,” Balin encourages, taking your arm, “a fair chance we are not to see it like this again, after all!” You hesitantly hum at his side, and that is when he looks over to see your tightly shut eyes and stiff posture, your hands firm and flat against the great eagle’s soft, downy feathers. “We’re safe now,” he tells you quietly, scooting into your side. The warmth of his coat brings some comfort, but not enough for you to open your eyes, even if they shine red beneath your crushing lids. “This does not feel safe,” you reply, your voice barely exceeding a whisper. Balin does not fight, does not argue, presumably continues enjoying whatever view you did not doubt was beautiful. You simply cannot appreciate it. “I understand,” he replies, running a soothing hand up and down your back, “and I’m here. I’ll hold you down.”

Dwalin

“I bet you’ve never been afraid a day in your life.” Those were the words that set the conversation- or challenge, more like- flying between you and Dwalin, both of you huddled near the smoldering remains of your earlier fire on watch of camp. Hazes of fatigue descended upon both of your heads as you spoke, your musing bringing quite a surprise to Dwalin, who immediately sat up straighter and fixed you with surprise. “Are you mocking me?” “No,” you shrugged, shaking your head, “I simply could not imagine what that would be. It is quite difficult to picture you afraid.” It was your turn to be surprised as Dwalin’s expression softened far beyond what you were used to. “Even the greatest of warriors have them. I, then, am far from an exception.” “What is it, then?” “Pardon.” “Your fear,” you lit up, “is it the ocean? Dogs? Speaking to a crowd?” “Why are you selecting such ridiculous-” “You’re dodging,” you teased, “Thought you might be embarrassed.” “I’m not,” he crossed his arms, “Tell me yours and I shall share mine.” “Fine,” you replied with a shrug, “I am terrified of heights. Fell off a roof as a little one. …long story.” “That… makes a lot of sense.” “Hey, now what is that supposed to mean?”

Thorin

In all honesty, you’d expected the king to have no patience for such matters. You had avoided mentioning your phobia to any of the company for that exact reason, in fact. No more reason given for Thorin to see you as a liability, an outsider. At least until the booms of thunder, the slick of rain and your cold sweat alike as you slid along cliffs, eyes closed and then squeezed so shut your skin warmed and almost burned. Great stone giants you stood upon, legs rising and sending you swinging out wildly, unable to stifle your scream. As the giant slowed, having been struck by a massive rock, you were righted again, and feeling a hand tighten about your shoulder you turned around, expecting to see fatherly Gloin or Balin and instead almost starting at the sight of Thorin there behind you. “I can tell you fear the precipice. Stay here and no harm will come to you.” Your lips parted wordlessly, unable to form a sound beneath the thrum of blood in your ears, the heat creeping to your face, the echo of shattering stone still reverberating through your whole body. As if he heard you regardless, Thorin added, “I promise.”

Oin

“You’re sweating. Do you have a fever?” “No, Oin, I’m fine,” you replied, shaking your head. “Are you certain? For I’ve got quite the concoction- two in fact! One you put on and one you put in. Yourself, that is. You drink it, you see.” “I gathered.” You mustered a smile, but it was halfhearted and, judging by Oin’s expression, obviously so. “No need to be proud. Come on. I’m the one who can help you. And trust me, I’ve seen it all!” Oin was right. A fear of heights was far less embarrassing than all the accidents you imagined dwarves got into. Bofur alone had plenty such stories. “To be honest, it simply is this climb,” you nodded to the foot of the mountain, the great steps you’d heard so much about- and stars, they were nothing like the steps in your old home! “Afraid of heights?” You nodded in reply and the healer’s bearded face burst open in sympathy. “Well, that’s more than understandable! Seen plenty of- Ahem,” he cleared his throat, “Well, that is to say you’re not alone. I’ll let you in on a little secret- from what I hear, it took Kili years before he’d even get on a ladder! ‘N he’s a prince! You’ve nothing to worry about. I can give you something to calm you down as we speak, and beside that I can stay by you every step of the way. How’s that?” “That’ll be great,” you smile, “Thank you, Oin.”

Gloin

“What d’you think you’re doing? …Rotation my arse, send someone else if you’d like to avoid discussing this with the business end of my axe!” What was going on? Emerging from the brush, you followed the sound of Gloin’s voice, the volume of which had steadily been increasing, to see him glaring with all intents of intimidation at Dwalin of all people. As much as you knew you should step in and resolve any tension, you couldn’t deny your amusement. Kindling in arm, you shook your head fondly at the scene before you. Ever since he found out you were afraid of heights, rather than mock you as you’d half expected the dwarves to Gloin had made it his personal mission to swoop in and lobby for you whenever the opportunity availed itself. Such as climbing trees for watch. Muttering, Dwalin walked away with a shrug and a roll of his eyes, and you took your own opportunity to set the kindling down and sneak up behind Gloin to pull him into a hug.

Bifur

Snapping jaws narrowly missed the edges of your legs. Wargs ran to the feet of the trees, standing against the trunks and trying in vain to pull you down. They were coming closer than they should have, though, one even catching a dangling strap from your boot and tearing the buckle on it clean off. Jumping at a tap on your shoulder, you swiveled your head and peered up, admittedly a bit relieved to forget you were above ground, even if it was not by much. Bifur had gotten your attention and was urgently circling his hand, encouraging you to go further up to his branch. You shook your head. “I am fi-” SNAP! The moment you attempted to defend yourself was the moment the branch at your side was ripped off, scrabbling claws following its descent. Another tap to your shoulder, this time with the hand groping down to find yours and pry its fingers from their death grip on your branch. “What are you doing?” You hissed, panicking at your loosening grip, but your complaint was quieted when Bifur yanked you up against his chest and held you there fast. He muttered something in Khuzdul and while you weren’t certain what, his tone alone soothed you a bit more, keeping you in place there with your rapid heartbeat against his.

Bofur

“What’s the matter, no foothold? These hills can be a bit slippery, can’t they? Pesky when it’s so far to fall, pesky indeed.” “Bofur,” you breathe, voice wavering as you near tears. The sheer desperation in your voice shakes the hatted dwarf to his senses, his eyes and smile softening and falling as if seeing you for the first time. “Hey now, you’ll be all right. Thorin put you in the middle on purpose. So many hands here to catch you. ‘Sides that, I’m right here next to you, and you know I’ll always protect you, right?” Smiling faintly, you nod, eyes still blurred faintly with the sheen of tears. Strength renewed slightly, your hands dig even tighter into the rough stone and with all your might, you pull up to the next ledge. “See, there you are! Before we know it you’ll be outclimbing us all,” Bofur teases, leaning over and gently bumping your shoulder with his. “Bofur!” You squeal. “Oh, yes, right, sorry! Say, why don’t we just talk about the weather instead?”

Bombur

“I can’t.” “You must,” Bombur insisted, always-gentle voice even quieter than usual. Groaning beneath the weight of your bodies, the great pine you’d been forced to climb bent further. “If we don’t, who knows what’ll happen to us. I’m scared, too.” The shocks running through your heart calmed slightly at the sight of his soft eyes. “Who wouldn’t be scared of jumping off a cliff?” “Fili ‘n Kili, probably.” “You’re right,” you giggled, delaying the inevitable that much further.” “Why don’t we go together. See, just because we’re both ‘fraidy cats, you know?” Bombur sounded so… shy? He truly meant it, not that you doubted his sincerity much- a more sincere dwarf could scarcely be found. “Of course,” you replied, and beaming, he took your hand. “Just close your eyes. Trust the wizard. You’ll be alright if I have anything to say about it.”

Dori

“Is this truly necessary?” “Unfortunately that is the best way to keep things away from bears. Awful creatures trying to spoil our picnic!” “This is no picnic, Dori,” you giggled, “on account of we’re on a perilous journey? If you remember.” “Yes, yes,” he waved the hand that was free of the bundle, “but I will suffer much before I go this whole mess without doing something for you. Now Bilbo was kind enough to lend this food…” “You lot stole it, didn’t you?” Dori pointedly ignored you. “Be a dear and climb up to that branch with the rope,” he requested, pointing up into the tree and sending a wave of apprehension straight through you. “Can I hold it?” You asked, shuffling your feet. “Please?” Dori inhaled. He frowned slightly. His frown softened almost immediately at your slight pout. His shoulders deflated, hand loosening about the bundle. “Very well. You certainly are lucky to be so adorable.”

Nori

“Come on, let’s have a look at the stars, huh?” Something about Nori’s tone, a sort of provocation you hope to be deciphering correctly, has you shying your eyes away from the smooth-talking dwarf, hands behind your back as you nod. “That’s a good’n,” he smiles proudly, grabbing your hand tightly, a bit harshly even as he tugs you outside. Your gaze drifts up, but Nori tilts it back down to face him. “Not out here!” You are puzzled, tilting your head back at him. Rivendell’s garden is the most beautiful you’ve seen, a perfect little gazebo to sit under surrounded by pure white flowers and vines that reach up to the very stars upon which you wish to gaze. “Elrond can’t mind too much if we get a bit closer, after all, can he? Those elves love the stars as much as anything, after all.” You see now that he is motioning up to the roof of the enclave set aside for you all to stay, a conveniently flat expanse granted access to only by a risky-looking trellis. Nori wants to climb that with you. All the blood drains from your face at the very sight, the mental image of your shoes slipping from the hole, tumbling you back into the… “What’s the matter, hm? Scared? Afraid of getting trapped up there with me? I promise I won’t bite…unless you ask me to, of course.” His joke brings you back to your senses, out of the unexpected tenderness and back to your usual joking. “What’s the matter with you?” You shoot back. “Can’t get excited without being imperiled?” Cackling, Nori lets you slide, instead winding an arm about your waist and sweeping an arm, letting you lead him to the gazebo bench. “Got me there.”

Ori

“What’s the matter?” Ori ponders your name so sweetly it almost cuts through your fear. “Isn’t it wonderful?” ‘It’ being the view from, at least in your mind, the most precarious parapet in the whole kingdom of Erebor. “I see even more now why we were fighting for this,” he adds, smile growing and wonder positively glowing in his big brown eyes. In almost hilarious contrast, you struggle to feign a smile, fingers tightening around the wall’s edge like a lifeline. Which it quite literally is. It isn’t that high. You can simply take one step, no, two, and go tumbling off the whole of the mountain- The sound of your name cuts off your dread-laced internal ramblings, shaking you back to Ori, to feeling him take hold of your upper arm. “Are you alright? I can see your face, you look so-” Cutting off his desperation, the way he clearly is searching for a kind way to say it, you just sigh and answer him. “You were so excited to show me, I didn’t have the heart to tell you that, well, I have quite the fear of heights.” Ori’s jaw positively drops as he surges back, taking you away from the railing like it’ll burn you. “I’m so sorry, you never told me! How was I to know? Why, here you’ve been just-” You forget your fear entirely in favor of giggling at Ori’s kind reaction. You should have known better than to fear what he would say! “How about we go to the library instead?” Ori offers, hand still on your arm. “I’d like that,” you answer with a smile.

Fili

“Don’t let him catch me telling you this, but do you realize Kili used to have such a bad fear of heights he wouldn’t even set foot on a ladder?” Fili snickered to you, leaning with his arm along the back of your chair. “And that is supposed to be funny?” You replied, eyes wide and one brow raised. All attempts not to show your true thoughts- would Fili think you a fool? “Of course it was! I couldn’t even persuade him into the attic for all the deal it was,” the elder prince answered with a smile of great amusement. Pulling away from his warm proximity, you wrapped an arm around yourself instead. “And why was he wrong to fear harm? To- to avoid doing something he didn’t even need to do? Have you never felt the creeping of dread, of crushing danger?” Sitting back himself, Fili raised his hands defensively. “I’m sorry. I just thought it was funny the way he’d only put a toe up on it. You feel the same, do you not?” You nodded and he shifted back forward to put a hand on your shoulder. “Nothing wrong with that. I swear I won’t laugh about it again.”

Kili

For so-called ‘steps’, this climb certainly was involving your entire body, all of you company members heaving yourselves over each one and you suppressing a whimper at each slip and grind of your boot against smoothened stone. Why did the dwarves have to build their kingdoms so again? Sliding back, you winced, cringing back even harder when Fili playfully nudged you with his elbow. “Careful you don’t- oops!” He seemed to stumble back and fall, bringing you to cry out his name until he popped back up with a grin and laughter. “Quit that!” Kili stepped back down, making his way in between you two. “You’re really scared, aren’t you?” Nodding, you shied away at the way he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “Don’t worry,” he spoke your name softly, “mean old Fili’s going to apologize, isn’t that right?” “I’m not a child,” you teased, “I just…hate the thought of falling. Of my feet wavering and giving out.” “Understandable,” Fili added, lowering his head, “I promise I won’t actually lay a hand upon you. No more jokes. For once, Kili’s right.” Smiling again, you allowed Kili to guide you up, one hand protectively over the small of your back. “You just wanted to play the hero.” You heard Fili hiss to his brother behind your back, shakily grinning at his words.

Bilbo

“We need to get out of here. Come on.” The hobbit whispers your name urgently, extending and waving his hand at you. How you have managed to avoid losing your mind completely is what you can only imagine to be a testament to your luck. But Bilbo? You had completely lost track of him and now he’s here before you, gripping a tree branch and pleading with those shining grey eyes. This forest has your head spinning, but those eyes are an anchor, something you can focus on for once. Your heart moves, but your body remains in place, blood rushing to your face and slamming chest. “I- I-” What can you say? “Please,” Bilbo adds, “I don’t want to lose you, too. We need air. You must come with me to clear our heads.” Blinking, you look back and forth. Did you need to? Wait, need to what? “Please,” Bilbo begs again, “I’m afraid too. But it won’t be so bad if we’re together, right? I would never let you fall.” The way he begs, says your name so carefully yet so intently, has you nodding and taking his hand, smiling faintly at the warm grip. “Let’s go.”

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employee052 · 15 days

Text

[A new ending and a new beginning.] (art + a fic)

[I accidentally wrote a lot for the art piece, so the full art is at the end under the cut!]

"An odd silence fell between the two of them as the sun began to gently rise from its slumber and out into the sky above. A soft drizzle pouring onto the ground below as Stanley clung to the jacket resting on his shoulders. The breeze hitting his skin as he realized what this was.

It was weather.

It was the rain. It was the cool breeze against his skin, the warmth of the sun above, the grass below him, the trees surrounding him.

It was freedom. Just like the way the two had hoped that they would one day see.

The Narrator smiled softly, Gently grabbing Stanley's hand as they sat side by side on the hilltop.

He gazed out into the world around them. The sunlight making his eyes shine a familiar yellow as he turned to see all there was to see in that moment alone. There was an odd sense of finality to his face, as though he was conjuring another story in his mind. Only this time, there were no more endings, no more resets.

Simply a story with a beginning and an end.

Stanley looked at him curiously, nudging his arm as The Narrator turned to face him with a guilty look.

This made Stanley nervous. Despite having only seen the Narrator in person for a short amount of time, in all his time within the office, he never once imagined that the same man that he was hearing all this time would be sitting beside him looking at him like he was his world.

And perhaps he was, Stanley thought to himself.

'It's funny, isn't it Stanley?' The Narrator asked in a low rumble, 'To think, the ending we've both desperately dreamed of achieving, and all you had to do was get me to listen."

Stanley smiled, it was a challenge to get him to stop without a voice. An even bigger challenge to get him to listen to what he had to say.

Yet as his legs ached from running up those stairs towards the escape pod, The Narrator holding his hand as he wondered if they were really about to be freed. Stanley knew that he would do it all again if it meant that the two of them could sit on this hill together for just a brief moment.

The Narrator sighed, looking down at their hands in silent acceptance. Gently caressing soft circles on the back of Stanley's hand.

Stanley didn't need to look. The weight in his chest telling him all that he needed to know.

Stanley kept his eyes on the Narrator's face. Set on dedicating it to memory as the soft wisps of distortion chipping off the Narrator's body. His coat on his shoulders growing steadily lighter.

'It's okay,' The Narrator reassured, his free hand wrapping around Stanley's torso in a gentle side hug. 'We've both achieved our freedom. Even if it was for a brief moment.'

A sob escaped Stanley's throat. A soft gasp before he broke out into tears. He pulled The Narrator in for a hug, clinging desperately to him as he felt him hug back. The two of them holding onto each other desperately as the ending was in sight.

'Oh... I have so many things I wish to tell you Stanley.'

Stanley felt the Narrators lips press against his head tenderly.

'But this isn't my ending to live. It's simply another beginning to your own story.'

The two stayed like this for another moment. Holding each other in their arms as the stars faded for the morning skies' hues to colour the atmosphere above them. Tears streaming down their faces. Stanley felt the Narrator's grip grow weaker feeling the distortion grow more intense as he clung to him even harder.

'Stanley, would you mind if I narrate this moment for us? For old times sake.' He whispered. 'It will be different, I promise.'

Stanley chuckled quietly. His shoulders shaking as he nodded, wiping his tears. For once, he never thought his lines would bring him this much comfort.

The Narrator coughed, the distortion about to overtake him as he pulled Stanley in closer. Speaking with whole chest befitting for a true and final ending.

'And so, Stanley and The Narrator could feel the breeze against their skin. A new ending, and a new beginning for them both. The feeling of freedom within themselves.'

'This was exactly the way, right now, that things were meant to happen.'

'And Stanley was free.' "

[The End]

~~~~~~~

[For different versions of the art!- uh... we can only have one cut, so just... scroll down lmao]

#artswin #ficswin #tsp stanarrator #stanarrator #tsp narrator #tsp stanley #control group au #tsp #tspud #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #stanley parable #tspud narrator #tspud stanley #tspud stanarrator #fanfiction #sorry if my writing isnt good. i havent written a fic in a while askjdh

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elisysd · 2 months

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7. It's always one step forward and three steps back

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: 1 step forward, 3 steps back - Olivia Rodrigo

Warm. You were intensely warm. You started to move a little in the very comfortable bed, not wanting to open your eyes yet. You snuggled deeper into your pillow before feeling it moving and something pulling you closer. Your eyes fluttered open. It took a few seconds for you to register your environment and suddenly you understood. Your pillow was a very strong chest, moving in sync to his breathing. And what pulled you closer was his arm, snaked around your waist. And now, you were very awake and conscious of each of your movements. You felt panic wash over you and you almost jumped out of bed, waking up Charles in the process. You didn’t even look at him, throwing a jumper on yourself and putting a sweatpant over your pair of shorts.

“Y/N? What the hell?” Charles mumbled, getting up as well to come closer to you.

“Mistake. Fucking, stupid mistake. You and me. In that bed. How can I be so stupid?” you frantically replied, getting your suitcases and making your way to the door, only to be stopped by Charles, grabbing your arm and forcing you to face him.

“Nothing happened. We just slept. Nothing more. We just invaded each other's spaces, it happens. It doesn’t mean a thing. Just calm down.” he reassured you.

“It’s… still. It’s unprofessional. From my side. We work in the same environment, it’s wrong. Wrong on so many levels…”

“You’re overthinking this.”

“Quite the opposite actually, I think I’m the one seeing the situation in a clear way.” you contradicted him.

“Okay, fine, if you say so. And where are you going to go?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest, making you blush at the sight.

“I… I’ll figure it out.” you stuttered.

He sighed, shaking his head in disappointment.

“You can keep the room.. I’ll stay with Joris.” he simply said.

You could see that you hurt him somehow and it made your heart ache. It was the last thing you wanted.

“I don’t want to kick you out of your room… especially when you so kindly offered me to stay…”

You could almost see the wheels in his head turning full speed.

“Well… you did tell me that you could show me around. What do you think about spending the day together, so you can calm down, and at the end of it, if you still want to leave, I’ll make the arrangements.”

You nodded. You just hoped it wouldn't end in a disaster.

You started with a coffee in Central Park and as you walked down the paths, you found it surprisingly easy how the awkwardness of the morning had vanished. You talked about many things, mostly mundane and about your hobbies. He learned how much you liked photography, something he was trying to get himself into, he told you all about piano and how it was relaxing him when he was not racing. He talked about his family a lot and how spending quality time with them was everything to him. Around lunch you end up in a little Italian restaurant and the conversation was still flowing easily between you.

“I love fashion. I know it doesn’t look like it but I would love to have my own brand one day. I want to design things.”

“At least, when it happens, it will be your own disastrous fashion attempts. You won’t be able to hide behind a brand.” you teased him as he threw bread crumbs on your face to annoy you.

“What would be your biggest dream activity? And you can’t tell me that you are already living it.” he asked and you paused, taking your time to answer.

“I think I would love to have a podcast. I would love to have conversations with people who work in the shadows, you know.”

“What is stopping you?”

“My job. I can’t start another activity that could potentially create a conflict with what I’m already doing. So… maybe one day, far away in the future.” you explained.

“You would be amazing as a host.”

It stopped you dead in your tracks and you looked at him. He was serious, there was no humor in his reply, no judgment, just a genuine trust in your abilities.

“Thank you… it means a lot.”

“You might be insufferable from time to time but you know how to make people comfortable. Even if it’s to make them relive their worst nightmares.” he winked.

You kept talking that day, getting to know each other on a deeper level, far away from the tracks and the image both of you had to keep up. And it felt nice. You laughed, he teased you, you talked about your lives, you talked about what you loved and what kept you up at night. Later as the moon was high in the sky and you were coming back to your hotel, Charles told you that you could keep his room.

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I’m going to the Yankees’ game tomorrow. Would you like to join? I might need someone to explain the rules to me.”

“I would love to.”

And the next day was probably one of the best days for you in a long time. You got along quite well with his brothers and friends and the day went by in a blink of an eye. As you were about to part ways in the lobby, he turned to you.

“I had a really nice time here with you.”

“Me too.” you smiled.

“Does that mean that we are friends now?” he shyly asked.

“And I would be more than happy to be your friend, Charles.”

He didn’t intend to, but the warm feeling in his chest made him make a step forward and engulf you in a hug, which you reciprocated to his surprise. He stuttered, looked at you and you noticed how his cheeks were starting to get more and more pink as you could feel your do the same.

“Well, good night… See you around? In Imola?” he said.

“Most definitely.”

Coming back to Paris after the wonderful break that New-york had been for you felt weird and soon you caught up in your daily routine, except that texting Charles was now a new addition to it. You were going through editorial board meetings after editorial board meetings, preparing the next races with Jean and Marion as well as Isabel and Morgan who were part of the team but weren’t joining you on race weekends. You liked to work with everyone, they felt like a second family to you. But in between meetings and during each coffee break you couldn’t help but text Charles. Whether it was about a stupid doubt in your mind about reglementation or a quick question about how his day was going, you were always shocked to see how fast he was replying to you, no matter how busy he was. This unexpected friendship felt nice and might have been exactly what you needed at this point in your life.

“Who are you texting that makes you smile like that?” Jean asked, an espresso in her hand as you just got out of a quick editorial briefing.

“No one in particular…” you bit your lips.

“A boyfriend?”

“Oh gosh no. I mean, he is a friend. I suppose.”

“You suppose? Shouldn't you be sure?”

“It’s… Can I ask you something personal?”

“Of course.” Jean reassured you.

“You are friends with some drivers, right? How do you do that to not impact your job?”

Jean looked at you as your leg started to bounce from anxiety.

“Well… I’ve never really got to think about that. It came quite naturally. When you love your job and are passionate about it, I think it’s easy. As long as you don’t overthink the way you do your job, that you stick to the reasons that led you to choose this life, then it’s easy. It becomes harder if you start to have strong bonds with some. I was close to Jules Bianchi and his family, I still am. I was there when he got into his crash. It was probably the toughest and most traumatizing experience in my career.”

“How did you do it?”

“You stick to the facts. No less and no more. You do what you know best and you stick to it.”

“Do you regret it? Becoming friends with Jules, I mean…”

“Never. Besides being a great source of information, I got to learn so many things by his side and meet other people. It’s all about finding balance. You know, when you’re in the paddock, browsing for information, asking questions… you’re not totally the same person as you are out of there. You have a mask of professionalism. The drivers are the same.”

And he was right. You had observed it with Charles. And he had already told you how different you were from your journalist persona. Maybe Jean was right and overthinking the situation would only create issues where they weren’t needed.

On your way home that day, you had decided that you would stop putting barriers between your relationships and what you thought was right. It was stupid and prevented you from being happy. Charles made you happy, Mick, Esteban and Pierre as well. And truth be told, Luc would be disappointed in yourself to not jump on the occasion to get closer to his idols. Alone in your flat, the TV on, you started to pack for Imola until you got a text from Charles.

I’m not sure the race will happen. A risk of flooding is set on Imola’s area.

Are they canceling the race?

Not yet.

You were about to reply when your phone vibrated and Charles’ name popped on your screen.

“Three hours of being caught in traffic and four diversions. That’s how bad it is. The F2 paddock is literally under water. I don't see how it could get better. We would need a miracle for the race.” he explained.

“You could have told me that over a text you know… you didn’t need to call me. Although I’m happy to hear from you.”

“I know… I just needed to express my frustration out loud.”

“What does the organization say about the situation?” you asked, your journalistic instincts taking over.

“Nothing. They are waiting to see if the alert is about to be lifted or not. It’s stupid. It’s endangering people. Anyway… how are you doing?”

“Good. Busy preparing the maybe non race weekend” you laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

“I bet. If by miracle Imola was to happen, are you down for a coffee or a walk or anything really… I need to get my mind out of the season.” he sighed.

“Getting your mind out of it by hanging out with someone whose whole job revolves around covering the season?”

“I want to talk to my lovely friend. Not to the annoying journalist.”

“I can be that.”

“What? Annoying, believe me, I know.” you could hear the laugh in his voice.

“No! Lovely, idiot.”

“I know that too. You’re cute.”

You felt your cheeks reddened and a deafening silence on the other end of the line.

“I mean… cute in a puppy way. Not in a sexy and attractive way… not that you are not sexy and attractive. Not to me. I’m sure there are plenty of guys out there that could fancy you.” he quickly added as you were hoping the floor would swallow you whole. “You know what I mean?”

“Not really, no.”

“Just… forget I said anything, yeah?”

He didn’t have to tell you twice.

After Imola had been canceled, just like how Charles had predicted it, the next stop of the season was Monaco, also known as the busiest time for you. In absence of a French GP, Monaco was now the closest of a homerace than it could be, meaning you were busier than ever. It was going to be a big weekend and you were really excited. You barely had time for yourself as when you were not working, you were texting Charles who was almost as busy as you were. But as the week was progressing and the Grand Prix was right around the corner, communication died down.

Indeed, Charles was swamped with interviews and sponsoring events from left to right and it was only when he was alone in his flat that he could check on his phone, sadder than what he was supposed to be when he noticed that you had stopped texting him. It was stupid, he knew how busy you were and it was unfair to ask from you to be there for him when he knew that he couldn’t do the same for you. And you were just friends, not that close even if over the last weeks he felt like he had started to know you on a deep level and you could say the same about him. He didn’t really understand why he felt so bothered not talking to you and he reassured himself thinking he would see you in the paddock.

But you weren’t there on media day, busy shooting reports in the streets of Monaco, nor were you here during Free Practices as you were covering the F2 sessions. He didn’t try to overthink and focused on the qualifyings the next day, sure that you would be there to welcome him in the media pen. But you weren’t, Marion was. He quickly asked Silvia if she knew why it was not you and she shrugged.

His home race’s weekend was starting a bit too well for his liking and as if fate had heard his doubts, the penalty dropped as he was heading out. Saying he was mad was an understatement. It was unfair, he knew he didn’t deserve it, not like this and it’s defeated that he met Arthur, at their mom’s house. Arthur was no better than him, he was not proud of his driving so far.

“I feel like I’m a failure. I don’t deserve my seat there and people are starting to be more and more vocal about that…” he confessed to Charles.

“Shut up. You do. And the ones who are saying you don’t are stupid. They don’t matter.”

“I want to make dad proud, Charles.”

“I know. I do too. And I promise you we will. We are going to give our all tomorrow. For him.” Charles assured.

But both races for the brothers ended up pretty badly for different reasons. Arthur had to DNF and Charles, retrograded in P6 after his penalty stayed in this position throughout the whole race. No actions, nothing. just a boring race and one he wanted to forget. But as he was heading to the media pen, he noticed you and suddenly, he felt better. He walked confidently to you and gave you a smile, that you reciprocated. He was about to answer confidently when he heard your first question.

“P6 for you today Charles after your penalty and another home Grand Prix that is not going as expected. Do you start to believe that you might get cursed after all?”

“I.. I… Well, I think it’s just a matter of circumstances. We tried our best to fight with everyone but it wasn’t enough.”

“Do you envision the possibility of you never winning Monaco?”

“Of course not! I’ll always give my all here and I know that one day it will pay off.” he answered a bit more harshly than what he intended. He didn’t understand where your questions were coming from. It was just like at the beginning of the season and it seemed that all the progress that you both had made were vanishing and your relationship back to square one. He didn’t even glance at you as he walked out of the media pen, even more frustrated than when he got in.

Once the post race meeting was over, he wandered around the paddock, trying to search for you and determined to find answers. He wanted to know why you had been so aggressive with your questions. He knew that the chances were high that you would still be around but despite his best attempts, you were nowhere to be seen and that angered him even more.

To let loose and as it was now a tradition, Charles and a few of his closest friends went out clubbing. It was one of the moments he was waiting for the most during the Grand Prix weekend and today, more than ever, he needed it. Other drivers were there as well. Pierre and his girlfriend Kika, Alex with Lily and George with Carmen, making him feel more single than ever.

“I’m not in the mood to see so many happy couples tonight.” he complained to Joris at the bar.

“Well that could be easily arranged, you know. There are so many girls who are waiting in line for you. Just pick one.”

“You know that I’m not that kind of guy. I need to feel a connection with someone.”

“Come on, man. After this weekend I think you deserve to enjoy yourself.”

Charles sighed and scanned the room only to see you there, talking and laughing with Mick. You seemed happy, carefree, something you only had shown to him and he admitted it, he felt jealous. Even more when Mick hugged you and he saw you reciprocating it. He clenched his jaw and drank his whiskey in one gulp. He didn’t care how he felt the liquid burning his throat, at the moment it was not worse than the burning he felt in his chest. He was so caught up watching you that he didn’t see Pierre approaching.

“There you are. I was starting to think you had gone home to be grumpy on your own.”

Charles barely made a sound to acknowledge his presence and Pierre followed his best friend’s gaze. Here you were, now on the dancefloor with Mick who was busy making you twirl around. He looked at Charles to see him clench his jaw and barely understood what was going on. He had never seen him acting like that.

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“Sure. That’s why you look like you want to see Mick buried six feet under.”

“I’m not.”

“It's okay, Charles. You can admit it. I won’t say anything or anyone.”

“There is nothing to admit.”

“You’re so stubborn.”

“Fuck off, Gasly.” he finally brushed his friend off, as Joris was laughing.

He got out of the club, not feeling in the mood to party anymore. He was jealous. That was true. And he never thought that seeing you with another man would make him this angry. He wanted to be the one to make you laugh, the one to make you dance, the only one worthy of your hugs, the only one to put a bright smile on your face. And that was true, maybe his feelings were not as friendly as he thought.

You were slightly drunk, you knew it. You had spent the night laughing with Mick and Marion. You needed it. It had been a hell of a few weeks and letting loose was what you had been waiting for. On your way out, giggling as you were barely able to put one foot in front of the other, Marion joined you.

“I think it’s time for you to rest, missy.” she laughed, taking your bag out of your hands, scared you would drop it.

“How are you not drunk?”

“Experience, darling.”

She hailed a taxi and you both hopped in and made your way back to the hotel.

“Are you going to be okay on your own or do you need me to walk you to your room?” Marion asked.

“I’ll be fine.”

And you wouldn’t admit to her that you made a mistake on your floor number. When you finally made it, you were just dreaming about a nice shower and your soft bed. But when you looked up and your heart almost jumped out of your chest as you were feeling yourself sobering up rather quickly, you knew you were not getting them as soon as you hoped for. Charles was standing up in front of your door.

Author's note: An early chapter as I'm nor sure I'll be able to post tomorrow. What do you think Charles is doing here? What is he going to say?

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

If you wanna be part of the taglist, let me know.

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @thirstylion @cmleitora @charizznorizz @sltwins @boherahpsody @herondalism @roseamongthorns13 @aundercover @snowflakesfluff

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kamisatomay018 · 5 months

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A string that can no longer connect..

Xiao x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, hurt with no comfort, character death

A lot of you wanted me to start writing angst, so here it is! I hate hurting Xiao even more-

Perhaps you should have heeded to their warnings. Perhaps, had you just stayed in Liyue harbour, your unending misery could have been avoided. Perhaps, had you not been so foolishly in love with someone so out of your reach, your heart wouldn’t be bleeding right now. Perhaps….had fate not been so cruel to you, your tears would have dried up by now.

You felt like a body without a soul, like a mind without a purpose, your once beating heart had become a hollow pit through which harsh echoes of that one voice kept ringing unstoppably. It felt as if your heavy heart would soon make you sink to the ground, let the earth swallow you whole until not even one fragment remained. In the endless sea of colours, you were the black paint now, unhappy and dull, standing out the most although all you wished to do was hide and wallow in your misery.

You never knew it was possible to feel pain of this magnitude. Never once did you think that the heavens above would snatch your happiness away like this. You felt deceived, betrayed and beyond hurt. The Red String Of Fate, just thinking about it made you scoff. What a joke, there was no such thing as love in your life. Every step you took farther away from Wangshu Inn intensified the burning sensation in your ring finger, where the red string appeared. It kept on stretching away and away, the burning feeling like the string screaming at you to stop walking away, to just run back and embrace the one to whom you were tied. But you knew you could not do that.

You did not have the strength nor the courage to go back to the man who had caused your pain. You couldn’t face him again after you gifted him his heart, only for him to return it to you completely shattered and bleeding. Archons, it hurts so much, please make it stop..

You didn’t know where your feet were leading you, but after what felt like hours you fell to the ground, screaming in agony as that one voice refused to leave your mind, his harsh words echoing again and again that made your head spin. Your tears stained the ground, your soul slowly ripping itself apart piece by piece as you remembered what had transpired just moments ago.

Dangerous golden eyes pierced into yours, looking at you with a gaze so cold that you felt your heart freezing right there. “Soulmates? Tsk, we adepti have no need nor the time for such ridiculous things. Leave mortal, and never come back.” You felt tears well up in your eyes, not being able to believe this. You thought that he would feel happy, at least accept you but no, he simply rejected you, as if you were a nuisance for him. “But xiao..look, we are bound together by fate..how can i just be without you?”

He let out a cruel scoff, folding his arms and looking away. “That is a matter that does not concern me, but only you. I don’t want this fated bond, I reject it.” And that’s it, the tears dropped down one after the other, the ache in your heart haunting your being. “Then..why did you protect me so many times..why did you appear before me..”

“I am an adeptus, and it is my sworn duty to protect Liyue and its people. I am bound by a contract upon Rex Lapis’ orders. Do not think that this fact, by any means, makes you special. Mortals do not belong with adepti, nor do adepti need any companionship. Do not disturb me any further, Leave.”

Each word he spoke caused your soul to crack little by little, your heart completely broken while every fibre of your being ached. It was cruel, so cruel for him to do this to you. Yet you mustered the courage to look him in the eye, letting him break you once more. “So…you do not feel anything for me?”

“No, I don’t. Return to Liyue harbour and never come back here.” And just like that, he disappeared from your sight, leaving you alone and broken.

How easy it was for him, a mighty adeptus to scoff at a mere mortal like you, abandoning you as if it was nothing new for him. But who would tell him that he was your whole world? He was your hope, your soulmate, your love. How were you supposed to just be okay like this? How were you supposed to recover when you had lost yourself bit by bit with every step you took away from him until there was nothing left for you to lose? What a fool you were, thinking that the Conquerer of Demons would return your feelings.

Unbeknownst to you, Xiao had watched you leave from the rooftop of Wangshu inn, and every fibre of his being begged him to make you stop, to beg for your forgiveness and let you stay by his side. Yet he fought all those urges, simply watching your figure grow smaller and smaller, until you completely disappeared from his sight. Only he knew how much pain he was in right now, how the words he had so cruelly spat to you were now stabbing at his conscience, ready to kill him. But no matter how much he wanted, no needed you by his side, he could not be selfish.

You were the epitome of pureness and warmth in his eyes, while he was the ancient being with blood of countless gods and monsters on his hands, his soul tainted by karma. If you stayed with him, you would get tainted too, you would be in unimaginable pain too. Your mortal body wasn’t made to handle this amount of torture. Besides, he was so close to losing himself to his karma, his fear was that he would turn into the monsters he had sworn to purge. He could end up hurting, or even killing you in his madness. He had watched his beloved brothers and sisters go mad because of the karmic debt they carried, even turning against each other. Then how, pray tell, was he supposed to make you stay when he was aware of the danger he posed to your very existence?

That is why he let you go, speaking those harsh untruths so that hopefully you’d forget him one day and live a better life. He did not deserve love and kindness, he was a beast, a cruel and heartless monster whose only duty was to purge all evil until one day, his karmic debt would inevitably take his life. How was he supposed to condemn you to a fate so cruel? Taking a deep breath, he wiped off the lone tear that fell from his eye, reminding himself that all he had done was for your sake, to protect you.

But he would soon realise that he had done quite the opposite..

Only a day had passed by when he was passing through Dihua Marsh after slaughtering monsters. He then picked up the strong stench of blood- human blood. Frowning, he rushed towards the sight, only for his golden eyes to widen in horror, his mighty spear falling on the ground while he stood there, motionless. There lay your body, severely wounded and bleeding uncontrollably, painting the pure glaze lilies around you, instantly causing them to wither away. How..how was this possible..

He approached your unconscious form, cupping your cheek softly, which to his pure agony had gone ice cold. You were no longer breathing, and he knew that he had lost you forever. Tears welled up in his eyes as he kneeled on the ground, picking up your lifeless form close to his chest. A shriek of pure agony and devastation left him, his entire being churning in excruciating pain. It was all his fault, he was the reason why you were now dead. Not only had he broken your heart, but he had also managed to steal your chance of living a perfect life.

He begged, ached for you to come back, but it was of no use. He had lost you for good, only being left with enormous amounts of guilt and grief that would torture his soul eternally. He looked down at your limp hand, noticing the red string that bound you to one another. Only, it began fading away, and xiao cried in pain as it disappeared all together, signalling that he had lost his soulmate. Oh how cruel fate was to him, stealing away every single person that gave him happiness. First his family, and now his love.

His soul that once wished to be free of all binds, now begged fate to grant it one more chance to be bound to yours by that very red string, but what followed its plea was a deathly, deafening silence..for a string that gets snapped once, can no longer connect again.

#genshin impact #genshin fanart #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #genshin angst #angst #light angst #xiao #adeptus xiao #genshin xiao #yaksha #red string of fate #red string au

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n0tamused · 3 months

Text

"Amoris"

A/N: I miss my husband y'all. Made this as an oc x canon thing but I took out any names or descriptions so it can be read as x reader. We all deserve soft Nanami

Content: blind reader, female reader, post Shibuya - Nanami lives, they're enjoying their time in Malaysia now, soft Nanami

Word count: 978

Warnings: Scars? Besides that, nothing.

Long arms of midnight blue embrace the once azure skies, taking them into their slumbering hold. A soft light emanates from the young moon hanging overhead, drawing and calming the breathing waves that swallow up the beaches lick by lick.

The sight is one of its kind, and one the two dreamed off for years beforehand. They could only dream about how refreshing the salty air would be, and how the sound of the sea would lull them to sleep every night, how the summer rains will water the plants hanging from their windows and how lovely it would be to hold hands through all of it.

Nanami’s calloused hands draw the long curtains over the window after catching one final glimpse of the view outside, humming along with the tune that plays on the phone radio. When he turned to face the bed he saw her sitting comfortably against the headrest, a young little tabby kitten taking much interest, and taste, in her fingers as it let out playful yowls and meows, nibbling at her digits. His beloved giggled, her eyes pointed downward but staring at nothing, the small little scars that sprawled around her eyes had faded, but they were still there, and proof of what hardships she faced. Long lashes flutter shut as she gives up on trying to get the kitten off of her hand, simply letting one fingertip stay lodged between its small pointy teeth, feeling how he tried to chew and bite. “Kenntoo” she called into the air, hearing him move about, his humming following him along. He always seemed to make it a point to do his activities a bit louder than he needed to, simply to let his presence be known to her so she knew he was still there.

“Yes, my dear?”

“It’s time to go to sleep, I hardly got hold of you the entire day today” says (Y/N), breathing in deeply and letting her sigh fall heavy from her lips, as if to make a point. The kitten in her hands lets out a meow that sounded more like a squeal instead, making him turn his head to the two on the bed. “See? Even he agrees, he’s calling you over- Na Na Miiiii” she teases, barely hiding a smile from her lips as she feels the kitten's body, turning it around to face away and lifting it up into the air. Her smile widens as she feels Kento’s big hands take the kitten from her, inevitably touching her own hands. “You both seem so needy today, I can’t have been absent for that long, right?” The bed dips beneath his weight as he takes a seat beside her stretched legs, and the kitten is promptly placed into his lap for a short while. Big strokes over the little furry head and body leaving the kitten purring loudly. She nudges his hip with her foot when she finds it, asking for more attention to be cast to her.

“We had a perfect chance to sleep in this morning, yet you got up so early. And for what?” she points her words at him, curling her knees to her chest before scooting closer to where she felt him, one hand stretching out and landing on his bicep first. Then the hand crawled up to his shoulder, holding herself there. “Besides the kitten surprise, what else do you have going on?” she asked with a soft sigh, squeezing his shoulder as if that would squeeze and answer out of him. He chuckles, letting the kitten jump to the floor before he turns his body towards her, taking her hands in his. “What could I have going on? I can’t keep anything from you, even the cat was hardly any surprise” “Only because he was meowing from his box” “Pfft”

“But no, seriously. You’ve been working a lot.. and I miss you, Ken” Her voice had mellowed out, and with his guidance she made his lap her seat, her hands climbing up his chest before cupping his cheeks. The feeling has her smiling bigger, her heart catching up in her throat. One hand can feel the scarred skin from the burns he had sustained, and the other is met with smoother skin, both equally warm to the touch, both his cheeks lead up to the brows she mapped out with her fingertips before moving to his temples. He falls silent, holding his words on the tip of his tongue as he lets her touch his face.

Her fingers go to his hairline, carding through the golden locks before dropping to his earlobe, and with a fingertip on each side she traces the high cheekbone up to the base of his nose, and then a single finger goes to his lips, and he swears he can feel his heart leave him completely. It escapes his chest and runs to her embrace. Finally, he moves, taking hold of her wrist to keep it still while he kisses her fingertip, and gently he turns her hand over to show her palm so he could place kisses onto it. “I missed you too, so much” Kento replied, taking the other hand to and making her cup his cheeks again while he turned his head and kissed this hand and then the other, maneuvering them how he saw fit, showing love to each hand that held him so delicately, much delicately than he believed he deserved.

Nanami pulls her closer in his lap, and before he could initiate it, he already felt her soft lips find a corner of his own. Both of them burst into a quick chuckle that gets muffled by a proper kiss, now landing on his lips and it quells their feelings of yearning.

“Mm, let’s get to bed now, hm? And I can tell you what I was up to today, alright?”

I didn't write in a while, so I hope this is alright <3

#nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x yn #nanami kento x you #nanami kento imagine #kento nanami #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #nanami kento drabble #jujutsu kaisen x yn #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x reader #nanami kento x fem!reader #fluff #jujutsu kaisen x female reader #female reader

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mandos-mind-trick · 10 months

Text

The Phantom of Pabu - Part 1

Summary: After being rescued from the Empire, Crosshair spends his days miserably existing on Pabu. Haunted by the past, he's slowly drowning in his thoughts, until he spots you. You pique his interest from the start, a person who might just be more broken than he is.

Pairing: Crosshair x reader

Warnings: Angst, PTSD, suicide attempt, alcohol abuse, nightmares, sleep deprivation and its side effects, stalking-like behaviors, depression, descriptions of war and its aftermath, sleepwalking, brief mention of slavery, brief allusion to trafficking, trauma bonding, possessive and protective Crosshair, a bit of a savior complex

A/N: This is so different from anything I've written before, in a different style than I usually write. It evolved into something way more than it was supposed to be, and honestly I'm a little scared to share it. It's a testament of where my mind has been these last few weeks and really just a lot of feelings and emotions pouring out onto the page. Please heed the warnings as this is a pretty heavy story, especially this part in particular.

Next > | MASTERLIST

(Gif found on Google since Tumblr's gif search sucks)

At least they managed to settle somewhere warm.

Crosshair is grateful for that one thing as he reclines on a bench, shielded from the unrelenting sun by a tree. The island is hot today, drawing his brothers to the beach in an attempt to stay cool. As uncomfortable as it is, it is much preferable to somewhere cold.

He hates the cold.

The beach bustles with the sound of the inhabitants of the island, all of them seeking the cool water in relief from the heat of the day. It’s loud, sights and sounds threatening to overwhelm him. He hasn’t been here long, not long enough to feel comfortable with the freedom he’s been allotted.

No one knows.

No one cares.

He knows. He cares. He can’t forget.

He might have left, he might have suffered in the heat in favor of somewhere quiet had he not had somewhere to focus his attention. A distraction from the screaming of children, the endless movement of the crowd on the beach.

It hadn’t taken him long to spot his distraction, the grounding scene to keep him from losing his mind. You’re seated in the sand, as far from the crowd as you can be. Your shoes are off, placed neatly beside you. Your legs are pulled against your chest, your arms wrapped around them as you stare out at the cerulean water.

You haven’t been on Pabu long. He’d glimpsed you during your arrival with a few others, quickly lost in the crowd he was trying to avoid. Hunter had dragged him along, repeating the endless mantra that socialization is good for him.

Crosshair disagrees.

Hunter was persistent in forcing him into social situations, knowing well Crosshair would simply observe and refuse to participate. He preferred watching from a distance, becoming nothing more than a figure in the shadows. He knows the corners of Pabu well; that was where he made himself at home.

You have made this outing less unbearable, at least.

You’ve hardly moved since he spotted you, shifting only slightly to alleviate an ache in your joints. You don’t seem bothered by the sun or the heat, your skin glowing under the bright radiance from above.

Crosshair wonders what you’re thinking about. He rolls his toothpick between his lips, mind wandering as he considers you. He refuses to believe your head is empty as you stare out at the horizon. You’re far too fascinating to be reduced to a brainless shell. He had never been one to consider the thoughts of others, but staring at you has made him curious.

Not curious enough to approach, not curious enough to ask.

Curious enough to disregard the crowd and its maddening dissonance. He’s always alert, always ready, but your mysterious presence is enough to quiet the ruckus to a bearable level.

He gazes at you as the sun tracks a path across the sky, the crowd beginning to thin as evening settles in, turning the sky shades of orange and pink. You remain sitting there, still as a statue, when Hunter calls his name. He’s almost hesitant to leave, hesitant to walk away before you do. For a moment, the absurd idea passes through his mind that you might actually be a statue, but he knows that’s not true. He’d seen the small movements as you adjusted yourself, the small flinch as two children got too close to you while playing.

You’re still there as he rises, turning his back to you as he leaves his bench. His curiosity has been piqued.

Perhaps this place isn’t so unbearable after all.

***

You’ve invaded his thoughts, controlling his mind even as he sits alone in his room. He’d memorized every small detail of your being that day; you’ve been plaguing him since. He doesn’t know your name, he doesn’t know where you live. He doesn’t know a single thing about you, other than when you’d arrived on this island refuge, disappearing into the crowd of welcoming inhabitants like a phantom.

He’s become existential in his thoughts. Are you even real? Are you a figment of his imagination as he fights the guilt and shame threatening to devour him every time he gets even just a brief moment of reprieve?

He needs to see you again, even if just to prove you’re more than a figment of his imagination.

A ghost sent to haunt him for his sins.

Maybe Hunter is right. Maybe he has been alone for too long.

He can’t stand the considerate, generous, welcoming inhabitants of the island. He doesn’t deserve such kindness, such compassion after the things he’s done. If they knew the blood that stained his hands, the oppression he’d doled out simply because that’s what good soldiers do, they wouldn’t be so amiable.

He’s become almost nocturnal to avoid them.

Sleep evades him, and when exhaustion overcomes him, the nightmares begin. His brothers are gracious enough not to mention it, but he can see it. The worry, the concern in their gazes as he blearily stumbles out the door, choking on smoke and frigid air and rain. Endless rain.

Muscles tense and tight from the frozen air, clothes soaked through, half delirious from the cold and hunger. He’s weak, barely able to get his legs under him as he races for the door, desperate to escape, desperate to forget.

He walks in the warm air, when the sky is black and dotted with stars, when the world is quiet and asleep. No one around to try and engage him in conversation, no one to give him pity-filled looks as he passes. No one to ask after him, the disgusting shine of sympathy in their gaze. The few who pass on rare occasions don’t look at him, avoiding his gaze fearfully as if he’s some wraith slinking through the blackness ready to feast on the unfortunate soul who looks him in the eye.

A ghost haunting the island, lost and wandering for all eternity until the ocean washes away the last remains of the rock where the city stands.

His hands are still trembling, clenched into fists at his sides when you appear out of the darkness like a phantom. You’re ahead of him, far enough you haven’t noticed him yet. Even his enhanced vision has trouble making you out, but it’s you unmistakably.

Dressed in black, whether it’s on purpose or simply chance, you blend into the shadows of the night, slipping in and out of the light at each doorstep. You truly appear like a ghost, steps slow enough to make you seem as if you’re floating. You’re barefoot, nearly silent as you slip through the darkness.

Crosshair follows, encaptured by your mysterious presence. His mind draws forth the stories Omega had heard from Phee and recounted to them. Stories of seafarers seeing ghosts in the waves on stormy nights, sailors hearing the voices of women calling out to them, drawing them into the waves to be lost forever.

You walk the streets, nearly making one full circle around the island before you stop, freezing in the spot between lights. Crosshair blinks as he comes to a stop, as if he’s suddenly waking from a dream. He’s closer than he wanted to be, three houses separating the space between you.

You suddenly turn, his body stilling in the darkness. Can you see him? Had he made a sound in his distraction and alerted you to his presence?

There’s fear in your eyes. Your shoulders lift, squaring as you tense, almost like you’re preparing for a fight. Hands balled into fists, your chest heaves as you glance around, almost as if you don’t realize where you are. You take half a step back, eyes glancing over him but there’s no sign of recognition, no realization that he’s there.

You’re running. He’s half tempted to follow, half tempted to finally learn where you live, if only so he can remind himself you are, in fact, real. He stays planted where he is, watching your retreating form meld into the darkness until you’ve disappeared from his sight.

He stays where he is, playing over the scene in his mind. Did you notice him somehow? If he had been the cause of your fearful reaction, you hadn’t confronted him. Perhaps you felt his stare, some primal instinct recognizing something was behind you, something was following you in the dark.

Whatever had happened, it startled you. He likens you to a wild animal, feeling a bit like the predator that had been stalking his prey. You were easy prey.

It would have been so effortless.

He’s shaking by the time he returns to the house, the stars beginning to disappear as morning arrives. He slips into bed, drawing the covers over his head as though he can hide from his very thoughts.

***

The next time he sees you, it’s during the day.

You had been absent from his nightly walks, his eyes tracing every inch of the darkness he could see, waiting for your form to appear like a ghostly apparition. You had been missing, however. Perhaps he startled you more than he first imagined.

You appear at one of Shep’s parties, towed in behind Phee rather reluctantly. He’s in his corner, surveying the party from a distance like he preferred. Most left him alone, having learned he was a bore in conversation and those who hadn’t realized it had felt the bite of his words. Hunter had scolded him like a naughty child, but if it kept them away, he would face the reprimanding of his abrasive nature.

His interest is piqued when you appear, looking like the phantom he pictured you as. The glow that your skin had radiated under the sun is gone. You’re pallored and gaunt, even in the orange glow of the setting sun, looking every bit like the ghouls in the stories Omega enjoyed so much. The wispy blue dress that hung from your form was no help, limp strands of hair rustling in the breeze off the sea. Your eyes are swollen and dark as they pass over the party, eventually meeting his.

He should draw his gaze away and pretend he was simply doing the same, observing the milling party-goers. Yet he can’t seem to draw his gaze from you, locked in under your stare. There’s no recognition there, no sign you had seen him that night, no threat you were going to make a scene, expose him for following you for an hour as you wandered around in the middle of the night.

You break first, drawn away as Phee introduces you to Tech. You look displeased to be forced into conversation, Tech oblivious to your dismay as he prattles off some senseless facts about something Phee had said. At least with Tech, you could avoid having to partake in the conversation. He could talk enough for everyone involved.

He continues to watch you through dinner. You’re seated across the table and two seats down from him. The tenseness in your body speaking to your discomfort has not lessened any. You’re still again, aside from the slow lift and lower of the fork in your hand. You avoid everyone’s gaze, as if trying to ward away any attention that may be brought upon you.

You luck out, most of the guests seem to forget you’re even there. Crosshair doesn’t; his gaze is coaxed back to you constantly throughout the evening. He can’t look away, feeling as if he’s watching a tragedy unfold in front of him.

He’s witnessed enough of those.

None have affected him like this.

You disappear before dark, slipping away without a sound. No one seems to notice. No one but Crosshair. He casts a glance over the throng before he slips away, catching up to you. He stays a good distance behind you, not wanting to reveal himself yet. He’s reminded of that night he followed you, except he doesn’t have darkness to use to his advantage.

You look no less like a phantom in the red light of sunset. If anything, it makes you look more like a ghost. A ghoul painted in bloody light, a visage of pain and suffering.

He’s lost in his thoughts once more as he follows you, distracted by your haunting image. His heel drags across the stone, loud in the quiet peacefulness of the evening. You pause upon hearing the sound, shoulders squaring once more.

He moves instinctually, dipping behind a wall as you turn on your heel, eyes scanning the street behind you. It wouldn’t be unreasonable for someone to be following you at this hour, even if they only happened to be going the same direction as you. Yet, your reaction says differently. Had you been lost in your thoughts as well, distracted by whatever raced through your mind?

“I know you’re there.” You say, voice low and soft. He’s never heard you speak before. Your voice is just as haunting as he imagined. There’s no accusation in your tone. It’s not a shout to draw attention. “You’ve been following me.”

He stays behind the wall, fighting the war within himself. He should stay hidden, he should keep himself at a distance. If he reveals himself, you may realize he had been there that night. What answer would he give if you asked why? He hadn’t meant to follow you, at least not for so long. You had lured him behind you like a fish caught on a line.

Would you run again if he spoke the truth? Despite his dislike of practically everyone, you’ve caught his attention in a way he’s not sure he wants to lose. It frightens him, and it worries him all at once. He needs no one. He’s happy in solitude.

That’s not true, is it.

He slowly steps out from behind the wall, keeping a safe distance from you. Your eyes widen a bit, as if you had been doubting yourself, as if it would be the same as the night he followed you. Had you thought you were going mad?

You shift your weight as he reveals himself, the tenseness of your shoulders not easing any. Why should it? He’s a stranger to you. You’ve never spoken before now. He’s not even sure if you’ve seen him before tonight. You had caught him staring upon your arrival. Would you assume he’s been the culprit the entire time?

“You left the party early.” He says, trying to come up with an explanation before you can ask. You may not take to the truth as openly as he could hope.

You shift again, hands curling around the wispy edges of your dress. “I don’t like parties.” You say it with such bluntness he can’t help the smirk that lifts his lips.

“I don’t either.” He says. “Too many people.”

“Too much noise.” You say, nodding in agreement. “You’re...one of Tech’s brothers.” He gives you a questioning glance. You seem to know of him, despite this being the first time you’ve spoken. “Phee likes to talk about Tech.” You quickly explain.

Of course. You had arrived at the party with Phee, meaning she had likely invaded your life as much as she invaded his brothers’. She and Tech were very much infatuated. While he’s not heartless enough not to feel happy for his brother, Phee’s personality was grating to his introverted nature. Omega likes her too, and so she spends ample time with them.

It appears she has gotten to you as well.

“The name’s Crosshair.” He says, slipping a toothpick into his mouth.

You tell him your name, his mind replaying it over and over to commit it to memory. It wasn’t likely he’d forget, but he doesn’t want to run the risk.

“Are you going the same way?” You ask, taking half a step backwards. You’re anxious to get home. He can tell by your body language. You want to get there before others start leaving the party. “You could walk with me. I promise I won’t talk your ear off. I could not talk at all, if that’s what you prefer.”

“I’m not one for talking.” He says, his body already moving forward. He’s not entirely sure if you’re even going in the same direction he is, but he’s not going to complain.

A smile tugs at your lips as you fall in step beside him. “I was raised in a culture where you don’t speak unless you have something meaningful to say.”

“Sounds like an ideal place.” He says.

“It was, until it was wiped out by the war.” You respond.

So that was it. The war had been what ultimately led you here. He doesn’t press any further. He can tell you don’t want to speak more on the subject. Instead he falls into silence as he walks with you, letting you lead the way to your tiny hovel.

It’s not far from where you stopped that night he followed you.

“This is me.” You say, stepping up onto the small porch. “Thank you for walking with me. Solitude is nice, but sometimes silent company is better.”

Wise words. You may be right in that regard. He didn’t hate walking with you, and he certainly didn’t regret his decision. The silence had felt natural, not forced like the time he spent with those who believed conversation was necessary and silence was some form of disease.

Perhaps he was capable of enjoying others' company after all.

***

Despite your formal introduction, Crosshair finds little time to interact with you alone. The next time he sees you after the party is in passing.

Phee is the one that draws the attention to you, having spotted you leaving the beach as they were arriving. You don’t seem to have settled well into your new life. The dark, puffy circles under your eyes have worsened, and it seems you only continue to liken the ghost he once thought you were.

You were doing more than sitting this time. Your pants are damp almost to the knees, sand sticking to the fabric. Despite your time in the sun, there’s still a pallor to your skin, making you seem almost sickly in the bright sunlight.

He’s not the only one who’s noticed.

“Are you feeling alright, sweetcheeks?” Phee asks, pressing a hand to your forehead.

He watches the squaring of your shoulders, the subtle twitch of your muscles as her hand makes contact with your skin. You’re ready to flinch away, bracing yourself for whatever horrid thought passed through your mind as her hand lifted towards you. Perhaps you may have even tried to duck, had social convention not frowned upon such extreme reactions. It would have brought up questions, questions he knows you are desperately trying to avoid.

Instead you freeze, staying far too still as Phee feels your forehead. Reacting strangely would only heighten her concern. Brushing her off will save you at least this time, though she will be paying closer attention to you now. Perhaps the more extreme reaction would have been the better choice.

“I’m still trying to settle into a new place. That’s always been hard for me.” You speak slowly, and though it might only be a half truth, he can tell it’s worked.

Phee lets her hand drop back to her side. “Well, if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I mean it. Anything at all.”

You nod slowly, something flashing across your gaze too fast for even him to decipher it. “Right. I-I will.” You begin to step away slowly, almost as if you were waiting for someone to stop you. “I’m going to go rest now.”

You turn without waiting for a reply, hastily retreating up the path from the beach back onto the streets of Pabu. Crosshair is half tempted to follow you, to slip away from the others, but Omega takes hold of his hand, leading him out into the sand. He allows it, having more patience for the kid than anyone else.

The increase in interactions with you has only heightened his curiosity. Even now that he’s heard you speak and knows your name, you’re still a phantom in his mind. You appear so hollow, so empty and yet he knows the depths inside your soul are so vast the entire ocean could fill them and still not reach the top. You seem to float past those around you, even the very air seeming to cut right through you.

You appear so fragile, and yet the walls around you are so steep, even the most experienced climber would shake their head in prospect of climbing them.

Curiosity would not be enough for him to wish to climb those walls, to see what devastation lies on the other side. Curiosity is not a strong enough word to drive him to seek you out, to yearn for your voice, your story, your very being.

He wants to see the devastation inside you because he knows it is a mirror of his own.

Only you could understand him in the way he yearns for. His brothers try, but they can’t know, they can’t possibly understand him. Not in the way he needs. No amount of sympathetic looks and words could possibly begin to chip away at the thick walls that protect him.

He wants to tear down your walls, he wants to see your ugly insides, if only to vindicate the ugliness that resides behind his carefully crafted exterior. You are not so good at hiding it, at least not to those who know. Crosshair knows you will shatter eventually, just as he did.

He’d had his brothers to catch him.

Who do you have?

***

Crosshair sees little of you over the next few weeks. He catches glimpses in passing, often being herded somewhere by Hunter or Omega. You simply seem to exist, floating past the crowd, or sitting on your porch with a cup of caf. You don’t look any better than you had before, still pallored and gaunt, all the life seeming to have been sapped from your body.

He finds himself pausing his nightly walks in front of your small house. He hasn’t seen you walking since that night, but occasionally he spots movement in the windows of your hovel, shadows moving in the light through the curtains.

The most he sees of you is in passing on the landing pad on their way to do a supply run. You were speaking with Phee, pushing a bag of credits into her hands. He could see the desperation in your eyes, practically pleading with her.

Whatever it is you wanted, you were desperate to get it.

It plagued his mind the entire trip. What could you be so desperate to get? A relic from your home world? Something from your past to bring back fond memories before war stole everything from you? Or perhaps something else. It could be anything.

It could be anyone.

The thought stirs something inside of him, something that makes him feel sick. It burns through his veins, heating his skin. He pushes the thought aside, hating how it makes him feel.

You disappear once more after your discussion with Phee, fulfilling your role as the ghost in his life. He continues his walks, pausing in front of your home but you never grace him with your presence, even unknowingly.

It’s a week later when he finally sees you once more.

It’s late. The moon is full, bathing the island in cool light. There’s not many places to hide tonight, not many shadows to conceal him, yet he hadn’t been able to shake the need to walk. His mind had been restless, and the images behind his eyes when he closed them were too much to bear so he slipped from the house, stalking along the quiet streets.

He passes your house, pausing in his usual spot. His brow furrows as he takes in the scene in front of him.

Your front door is wide open, the lights on inside. He pauses there for a moment, waiting for any sign you may be moving around in there, but it’s quiet. Still. Your shoes are on the porch, haphazardly laying with the toes facing the street, like you had left with them on, then decided against it and tossed them back onto the porch.

Either that, or you had left in a hurry. He scans the area but there’s no sign of you, his stomach twisting nervously. He’s not sure why. The scene in front of him has put him on edge. For someone so closed off, leaving your door open was not what he would have expected. Even if you had ventured for a short walk, leaving your private space wide open for anyone to see was out of character.

He continues his walk, more alert than he had been. He moves slowly, waiting for a sound, a sign, anything that may lead him to you.

It doesn’t take him long.

He spots you first, stumbling lazily down the street. He can hear you mumbling as he gets closer, cursing with slurred words. There’s a bottle in your hand, glowing faint blue in the light of the moon.

You’re drunk, a nearly empty bottle of spotchka clutched in your hand. So that was what you had sent Phee after.

He wonders if that’s the only bottle you’ve had tonight.

He debates the best course of action. You may react if he startles you, possibly waking the neighbors. He does not want to have to face them, to try and explain. He knows it’ll only bring more unwanted attention to you as well. They’ll want to help, they’ll check on you, they’ll worry about you.

You’d hate him forever.

You freeze in your stumbling walk, his body stopping as well. He’s pulled into the memories of that first night he followed you. There’s nowhere to hide tonight, though if you spot him on your own perhaps your reaction will be more desirable. You slowly turn, swaying a bit on your feet like you’re trying to stand in a stiff breeze. You squint at him, mouth hanging open as you take him in. He wonders what it is you see. Can you even recognize him in this state? Or is he a shadow, a ghostly figure your alcohol-riddled mind is trying to piece together.

He says your name quietly, your eyes widening as they focus on him. He steps closer, moving slowly, carefully. You’re unpredictable in this state. He pauses just past an arm distance away, worried about getting too close. You might run again.

“Crosshair!” You shout, bringing the bottle to your lips, draining the rest. “What’re ya doin out so late?”

He can smell the alcohol on you at this proximity, the scent burning his nose. You look a mess, beyond just your drunken demeanor. Dark, swollen circles rim your red eyes, your clothes wrinkled and worn like you haven’t changed them in a few days. Strands of hair stick to your sweaty forehead, your face looking sunken and gaunt. Your feet are bare again, though whether that was a conscious choice or a consequence of your inebriation, he’s unsure. The haphazardly placed shoes suddenly make sense.

“You’re drunk.” He says, looking you over. You don’t seem hurt, not physically at least.

You sniffle, staring at the empty bottle in your hand. “Guess I am.”

You throw the bottle with a force he didn’t know you were capable of, the glass shattering loudly on the stone street. You stumble backwards from the force of your throw.

“It’s fucking stupid.” You say, wheeling away from him. “Those motherfuckers took everything from me!” You brace your hands on the wall overhanging the cliff. You push yourself up, kneeling on the edge. It’s a long drop to the houses below. The fall might kill you, if you landed wrong.

He suddenly feels nervous. Would you jump? He wouldn’t have pitted you for someone who would do such a thing sober. You’re not sober, though. You’re not in your right mind.

“They’re coming back.” You whisper, staring down at the moonlit city below.

“Who’s coming back?” He asks, watching you carefully. He can’t imagine anyone on the island so much as threatening you, much less attempting anything uncouth.

“They’re coming. They’re coming.” You’re starting to get frantic. Whatever it is you think you’re seeing, it’s driving you mad. “We have to go before they get here. We have to go!”

He moves purely on instinct. His years of training have saved many lives before, but none of them felt like this.

His arm is around your middle before your knees leave the ledge, body falling forward into his arm. He uses his weight to pull you backwards, turning mid-fall so he takes the brunt of it, his back hitting the stone street. You fall on top of him, stunned long enough for him to secure his hold around you.

His heart is pounding in his chest, adrenaline coursing through him. He holds you tightly, half to keep you restrained and half for his brain to process that he did catch you, he did make it in time. You’re still here, you’re secure in his arms.

He hasn’t felt this way in a while.

He hasn’t felt this way since Barton IV, since the avalanche, since he had to keep Mayday and himself alive through a blizzard only to watch him die. He had lost Mayday after trying everything he could to save him. He feels like he didn’t do enough. He feels responsible.

He won’t let the same thing happen to you.

You scream, the sound muffled by his shirt as he forces your face against his chest. You try to fight him, but all the strength with which you threw the bottle is gone. You’re no match for him. Not in this state. He sits himself up, keeping you restrained against his body.

“They’re coming back.” You sob against his chest, beginning to hyperventilate. “They’re coming back, we have to go!” You continue to struggle, but your fight is waning, getting weaker and weaker. “We have to go before they come back!”

“Stop.” He grabs your face, pulling you away from his chest enough that you can see him. Tears and snot slide down your skin, wetting his fingers. You’re sobbing, breaths hitching as your body tries to regulate itself. “Stop.” He shakes you, nothing more than an attempt to snap you out of this delusion. “No one is coming.”

You stare up at him with those haunted eyes, the moonlight making the dark circles under them seem more intense. “I can’t sleep.” You whisper, shockingly alert compared to what he had just seen. He can feel you folding, your body getting heavier until it’s only his grip on you holding you up. “Maybe if I get drunk enough, I’ll pass out before I remember.”

He lets you fall limp against his chest, keeping his arms locked around you to prevent you from trying something stupid again. His heart is still racing, the adrenaline making his hands shake. He had been designed for extreme stress. He had been designed to run straight into battle and not bat an eye.

The thought of losing you so easily has rattled him.

He needs to get you back home, somewhere he can keep a closer eye on you until you inevitably pass out from the alcohol in your system. He shifts you in his arms, pushing himself to stand. You’re light, far too light. He wonders if you’ve been eating, or if your sleep deprivation has taken over your entire life. Tech had spewed the detriments of sleep deprivation several times during the course of the war. They were designed to go without sleep for extended periods, but even they were not immune. They would begin to degrade to the point of delusion, and death would follow soon after.

He wonders how long it’s been, how long you’ve suffered without sleep.

You truly are a ghost.

It’s a surprise the inhabitants of the nearby houses haven’t been roused by the commotion. Or perhaps it’s just luck. The last thing he needed was someone else making this worse in an attempt to help. He has you under control now. If someone were to intervene, he’s unsure of how you would react.

He carries you back to your house, the door still open and the lights still on. It feels strange, invading your space. He feels as if he’s breaking some unspoken rule, infringing upon a sacred space as he steps in the door.

It’s a mess. Clothes and blankets are strewn around the small living area. Dirty dishes sit like landmines, half eaten food spread across the stone floor. How long it’s been there, he’s not sure he wants to know. He follows the trail into the bedroom, that space not much better off. Clothes everywhere, full and empty bottles of alcohol on the floor, the bed stripped completely of sheets and blankets.

He can’t let you stay here like this.

He finds the ‘fresher, stepping inside. It’s at least cleaner than he expected, damp clothes and towels piled on the floor, used containers of shampoo and soap littering the sink. He clears a spot, swiping the containers onto the floor. He sits you on the counter, your eyes closed. For a moment he thinks you might have passed out, but you crack your eyes open, staring at him.

He leans you back against the mirror, making sure you’re steady as he digs to find a clean rag. He finds a semi-clean one, running it under the cold water before gently wiping down your face. He cleans every inch of exposed skin, checking the bottoms of your feet. Dirty, but thankfully uninjured.

He can’t leave you here. It’s too risky. Not that he’d want to leave you in this mess anyway. He sighs through his nose, staring at your half asleep form. You’ll hate him, but he has no other choice. He can’t risk it.

He can’t risk you.

He picks you back up, carrying you out of the ‘fresher. Something shatters under his boot as he crosses the living room, but he’s too focused to care. He leaves your house, grabbing your shoes before making the short journey back up the hill to his own home.

It’s dark and quiet inside, just as he’d left it. His steps are near silent as he heads back to his room, his own small sacred space. He lays you on the bed, your body curling in on itself as soon as it hits the mattress, as if you’re trying to revert to some early form, back when the world was safe, when you were unable to comprehend the horrors that were soon to cross your path.

You’re asleep, or past the point of being able to control your own body as you take little notice of anything around you. He tucks the blanket around your shoulders. The stench of alcohol is going to sink into his sheets, permeate the air in his room. He can wash them later.

He settles himself on the floor at the end of the bed, leaning against the door. You’d have to move him to get out. Even with the exhaustion settling into his mind, the likelihood of you slipping out unnoticed is very small. Hunter already knows someone else is in the house, and if by some chance he doesn’t, he’d know as soon as he heard your footsteps.

The likelihood you’ll remember any of the events from tonight are slim. You’re far too drunk. He’ll have to come up with something, a reason for bringing you here.

He’ll worry about that when the time comes.

You’re going to be angry when you wake, but if it keeps you safe, he’ll face your wrath happily.

***

Crosshair’s pulled from sleep, straightening up from where he’d been leaning to the side as you groan quietly. He blinks the sleep from his eyes, stretching out his legs. His joints pop uncomfortably, forced into one position for too long. He glances at the bed, watching the lump under the blankets shift. Your arm lifts above the blanket, rubbing across your forehead as you groan once more. He can imagine the severity of the hangover pulsing behind your eyes.

He pushes himself to stand, approaching the bed slowly. You blink blearily up at him, squinting slightly as if you’re trying to see him better. Your sleep-addled brain is still trying to focus, trying to process everything you’re seeing. The chronometer on the wall tells him you haven’t been asleep longer than a couple hours, and it’s entirely likely you’re still a bit drunk.

You slowly push yourself up to sit, glancing around the room, looking anywhere but at him. He can practically see the shame burning on your face. “I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” Your voice is rough with sleep or drink, or perhaps both. “It was stupid of me to think alcohol would solve my problems.” Your gaze drops to your hands like a guilty child waiting to be reprimanded. “You shouldn’t have had to go out of your way to help me.”

So you do remember. It takes him by surprise. Some parts, perhaps, he thought you might remember, hazily at most.

“I don’t want to die.” You say, taking his silence as an invitation to continue. “But can you really call this living?”

He narrows his eyes at your words. You are right. He can see the suffering in your very existence. The exhaustion that plagues you endlessly, that makes you the phantom he sees you as.

“I-I should get home.” You swing your legs over the bed but he grabs your arm before you can move too far.

You feel so frail under his touch, and he’s afraid you’ll crumble like a stone statue if he squeezes too hard. “Don’t.” He says, your body pinned in place by the harshness of his gaze. He releases your arm, turning to grab clean clothes from his dresser. He tosses them to you, your body barely reacting in time to catch them. “Clean yourself up, then have something to eat before you go.”

You blink at him for a moment, hand clutching the clothes he’d tossed at you to your chest where you’d caught them. Your head turns slightly towards the door as the sound of the others moving around in the kitchen draws your attention. You had been introduced to them by Phee, so they weren’t entirely unknown to you. They knew very little about you, though, and certainly wouldn’t be expecting you to be here.

“‘Fresher’s down the hall.” He says.

You stand on shaky legs, your eyes pinching shut as your hangover makes itself known once more. He’s worried for half a moment you may collapse, his body ready to catch you. You let out a long breath before you’re moving, stepping out the door. He waits until you’re gone before he’s changing, ridding himself of his alcohol-saturated clothes. He leaves his room, stepping into the living area.

All eyes are focused on him instantly. He’s immune to it now after years, and there’s no desire for him to react, not in this safe space. Not when it’s his squad. His brothers. They’re all wondering, they all want to know. Phee rarely spent the night here. Tech was more likely to be absent from their morning routine than to have it disrupted by the appearance of someone from the outside. For him to have brought someone in, have them here in the morning...he’s the one breaking routine.

Crosshair pours himself a cup of caf, Hunter staring at him from across the kitchen. Crosshair meets his gaze unwaveringly, giving him a telling look. He’ll explain later. He doesn’t want them to know while you’re still here. The last thing you need is for them to make a deal of it, to cause a scene, to give you those ridiculous pitiful looks, to shower you in sympathy. He knows the wrong kind of attention could drive you back to the place you were last night.

He can’t risk that.

You emerge from the ‘fresher nearly half an hour later. Crosshair knows much of that time had to be you working up the bravery to come out and face his brothers. Your hair is damp, cleaner than he’s seen it in a while. You’re swimming in his clothes, making you seem even more fragile than you already appeared.

They’re all staring at you, and he can see the heistance, the nervousness of having all the attention on you. You step up next to him, standing close enough you could duck behind him if you felt the need. He’s surprised you aren’t hiding behind him, facing his brothers bravely.

Omega is the first to greet you, breaking the silence. She greets you by name, despite the limited interactions she’s had with you. She’s always so perceptive, remembering names and details from conversations and interactions that even Crosshair missed.

"You're welcome to stay for breakfast." Hunter says. "If you'd like."

"That would be nice, thank you." You say, Crosshair noticing the waver in your voice. Hunter likely did as well, but he draws no attention to it.

Not that he would.

"Come on, you can watch holovids with me while we wait." Omega says, taking your hand to pull you to the couch.

And so their normal morning routine was back to normal. Wrecker joins you and Omega on the couch, Echo going back to working on breakfast. Hunter steps closer to Crosshair, giving him a look.

"She needed help last night." Crosshair says quietly, reading the question on his brother’s face. "It wasn't safe for her to be alone."

Hunter nods slowly in understanding. He'll get the full story later, but for now that's appeased him. He only worried about the safety of his family, not that you posed much of a threat.

Crosshair sits you next to him at the table as they eat, partially for a sense of comfort and security on your part and also so he could make sure you actually ate something. He doesn’t have to worry much, though. You seem perfectly happy to eat.

Conversation flows as it usually does around the table. You don’t partake much, not that he really expected you to, but he can tell you’re listening intently. So observant, so aware. Wrecker’s bellowing laugh makes you jump, but Crosshair is the only one that notices.

“How did you get here?” Omega asks, turning to you as she changes the subject.

The table falls silent, suddenly all eyes on you. You pause in your chewing, hand closing around your fork just a little tighter. He can practically see your thoughts racing, the nervous tension beginning to square your shoulders once more.

“Omega.” Hunter scolds, casting a sideways glance at the girl before turning back to you. “You don’t have to answer that.”

You swallow the food you had been chewing, obviously not expecting to be given the option. Most people wanted to know, and they asked without hesitation, without considering what they’re asking the other person to relive.

Crosshair can’t help but be a bit curious too. He’s not a nosy person. He doesn't care about others enough to bother knowing their secrets. The only people he cares about are his brothers, and he’s spent his entire life with them. There wasn’t room for many secrets among them, not even after his return. They knew about his excursions, and they were perceptive enough to decipher his curiosity towards you. Bringing you here likely only answered the question of just how close he’s gotten to you, even if they weren’t aware of the full story.

They would be. He would tell them. Not to earn you more pity, but in hopes they will share his desire to look after you.

You, however, he wants to know. He wants to peel back the layers like the skin of a fruit. He wants to know. He wants the answers to why you’re so broken.

Why you’re so like him.

He would never force you to share. He knows the pain of having to relive those moments. It’s enough having to see them every time you close your eyes. Having to speak them aloud only feels like a threat, like you may breathe life into them once more. Like they may happen to you all over again.

“No, that’s alright.” You say, putting your fork down. “No one’s really asked me before. Not that they’ve really had a chance to.” You shrug, the corner of your lips almost lifting into a smile but it drops from your face as quickly as it appears. “I, uh, I was from Devoth.”

Wrecker gasps dramatically, Hunter’s face falling in understanding. Crosshair’s chest clenches, things beginning to fall into place. So that was it. Devoth had been one of the worst battles in the last year of the war, no, the entirety of the war. They hadn’t been part of it, but he remembered hearing of it.

“What does that mean?” Omega asks, looking around at the sullen faces at the table.

“Devoth was a planet in the Muno system located in the inner rim.” Tech says. “It was a mostly peaceful planet under the Republic government. It was used as a mining colony for centuries due to the deposits of rare minerals under the planet’s surface.”

“During the last year of the war, there was a Separatist invasion.” Hunter says, cutting off Tech’s ramble of facts about your home planet. “The battle that took place there was one of the most severe in terms of losses. The Republic won the battle, but it came at the expense of most of the battalion and the planet.”

Omega looks at you, a horrified look on her face. You’re staring down at your plate, eyelashes fluttering like you’re trying not to cry. Your hand’s closed in a fist where it rests on the table, your entire body wound tightly.

“Most of the planet’s surface was destroyed.” You finally say, voice wavering just slightly. “I was home alone when it happened, when the Separatists invaded. My parents had gone to the city center that morning. We had no warning. It was just a normal day then suddenly there’s a droid army marching through our neighborhood. They pulled us all out of our homes. Marched us through the streets with blasters at our backs. They were trying to gather us all in one place.” You shrug. “I couldn’t tell you what they were planning to do, but it couldn’t have been worse than what happened.”

“What happened?” Omega asks, everyone at the table leaning closer subconsciously. They had only heard the stories from those few who survived, those who fought. They’d never heard it from the side of someone on the surface. Someone entirely neutral to the war.

You turn your gaze to Hunter, almost as if you’re asking permission to share the horror of what happened with a child. You won’t give all the details, he knows already. That’s far too intimate for your first real conversation with them. Perhaps you were trying to save Omega from experiencing the same trauma you had.

“The Republic arrived not long after the Separatists did.” You continue. “As soon as the gunships entered the atmosphere the droids started shooting at the gunships and at civilians. I think they were trying to get the Republic to call off the invasion by executing innocent civilians, but there was so much confusion, it didn’t work.”

“How did you survive?” Omega asks.

“Someone grabbed my hand in the confusion.” You say. “I don’t know who she was, but we ran for it. There were underground shelters built out of old mining tunnels all over the city. Devoth was known for sudden, intense storms during the rainy season, so they were built to offer shelter when the storms blew through the city. We made it into one of the shelters with a few others.” You shake your head. “I couldn’t even recognize where we were when we finally came out a couple days later. Everything was gone. It was like a storm blew in and wiped the entire planet clean. There weren’t even bodies left.” You hastily wipe the tear that falls, sniffling. “Sorry.”

“I’m sorry you lost your home and your family.” Omega says, speaking with such compassion it stirs even Crosshair. “I’m glad you made it. You can be part of our family now.”

A small smile tugs at your lips, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “Thank you. I am lucky that I made it out.”

Hunter quickly changes the topic of conversation, sensing your distress. He won’t push you to continue, won’t push for more details. They’re capable of understanding the loss that comes with war, and the desire to leave it in the past. Crosshair knows there’s more to the story, however.

The rest of breakfast passes quickly, and despite Omega’s insistence that you stay longer, Crosshair knows you’re tired and overwhelmed. He escorts you from the house, the tension in your shoulders easing just a bit as soon as you’re outside. The streets are busy and bustling already, but you don’t seem as tense walking beside him.

You almost seem human.

“That wasn’t the end of the story.” He says as you approach your house, slowing his pace. The Battle of Devoth had happened well over a year ago. A lot can happen in a year.

“No. It wasn’t.” You say, slowing your pace as well.

Silence reigns between you until you reach your porch, sinking down onto the steps. He stays standing, hovering over you. He stares at the top of your head as you look out into the street, past the inhabitants milling about their day and out into the distant cerulean ocean.

“We were in that shelter for almost three days.” You say, tugging at the cuffed hem of your borrowed pants. “The battle happened fast, but we were scared of what we would find above. We had no clue what had happened, who had won. When we finally got out, the planet was unrecognizable. We looked for anything we could find, but it had all been reduced to dust and rubble. There were a few other survivors, others that were lucky and made it into other shelters.”

He stays quiet, not wanting to give you any reason to stop. He wants to know. He needs to know. It’s like a sick fascination, a need to know just how broken you are.

“We tried to contact someone, anyone, but none of the comms were working. We all thought we would die there, but the pirates arrived not long after. They were looking for anything they could pilfer but there was nothing but us.” You finally look up at him, tears still sliding down your cheeks. “We didn’t have any choice. What else could we do? Stay there and starve or hope the Republic showed back up to look for survivors? We willingly walked ourselves into slavery.” You sniffle, wiping the tears from your face.

There’s a pain in his stomach that has grown as he listens to your story. He had never stopped to think of the horrors that the civilians, the citizens of the planets they fought on, faced too. It wasn’t their job. Their job was to fight and try to survive to the next battle. They didn’t think about the homes they destroyed or the lives they upended trying to prevent the droid army from accomplishing the same end.

He’d done horrible things under the Empire. Worse things. He remembers it all, even when he hadn’t been the one in control. He’d destroyed lives, enslaved others, killed innocent people. All for what?

“Don’t make me tell you what happened after.” You shake your head, the tears still falling despite your best efforts to wipe them away.

He doesn’t need to know. He knows enough about the galaxy to be able to guess what happened to you. He’s curious how you made it here, but he won’t push you further than you have been today. You’ve been dragged through enough in the last few hours. He doesn’t want to risk pushing you to repeat what happened last night.

“That’s why I can’t sleep.” You say, staring off out the window. “I can still hear them marching down the street. I close my eyes and they’re kicking in the door, dragging me out into the chaos. I can still hear the ships, the blasters, the bombs. Sometimes I don’t make it. Sometimes I can see my parents. Sometimes I’m back with the pirates. Sometimes I never escaped at all.”

Understanding washes over him like a wave from the sea. You’re beginning to make sense now. The rapid decline you had been steadily sliding down since your arrival here. Your struggle sleeping, the nightmares both awake and asleep. Crosshair feels the bite of loneliness in his house full of his brothers and Omega, but he’s never truly alone.

You’re entirely alone.

You had been alone when your life was destroyed, when everything changed. It was lucky that you survived at all. No matter how many times you were assured you were safe here, you were alone. Being alone was not safe for you. Being alone left you vulnerable to the horrors of your past, left you vulnerable to the horrors that may come through your door when you’re least expecting them.

He begins to formulate an idea, a plan taking shape in his mind. He won’t leave you to suffer alone. You had already proven you wouldn’t survive that. You don’t have to be alone here, but he’s well aware you won’t willingly accept help. You’re too stubborn for that, too ashamed of your own brokenness.

He’s not going to give up on you, leave you to suffer a cruel fate that could be avoided. You were so much like him, even if your experiences were different. He understands you, and you have the capacity to understand him. He can help you. He desires to help you.

Little do you know, you are capable of helping him as well.

Taglist:

@rosechi @bobaprint @star-trekker-0013 @wolffegirlsunite @jedi-hawkins @sinfulsalutations @freesia-writes @littlemissmanga @clio3kantarella @eris-k @thorsterstrudle @idontgetanysleep @anxiouspineapple99 @clonemedickix @moonlightwarriorqueen @sleepingsun501 @dystopicjumpsuit @wings-and-beskar @blueink-bluesoul @starrylothcat @523rdrebel

#star wars #star wars fic #the bad batch #the bad batch fic #crosshair x reader #tbb crosshair x reader #x reader

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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 10 months

Text

Note: welllllllll..... there he is again; our hot mechanic. Here is part 4!

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

Warnings: angst/fluff. mention of crash, suggestive, hint of PTSD.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: Sihtric got to leave the hospital, and now it's up to you to look after him.

wordcount: 3,3k

Masterlist

'I can't believe I lost most of my muscles.'

********************

'Come on, baby,' Sihtric said, 'pull.'

'I can't just pull, I will hurt you.'

'No you won't, just pull the damn thing.'

'Sihtric, it's too tight!'

'It's not!'

'I can't get it off!'

'Just do it quickly!'

'Sihtric, you're too big!' you huffed, 'how did you even get this on in the first place?'

'The nurses helped me,' Sihtric shrugged.

'Look, I'm not a nurse, I can't get this off you without breaking another bone.'

'Fine,' he sighed, 'just get the scissors then.'

It must have been a tragic sight, you cutting your way through Sihtric's sweater to get it off him. It was simply a mystery to you how the nurses had gotten him into it, with his fractured shoulder and his arm in a cast.

Sihtric gave you a pained face when you finally held the cut up sweater in your hands.

'That was a limited edition,' he mumbled.

'Well, I'm sorry,' you sighed.

Sihtric suddenly chuckled. 'Already bickering and it's only the first day.'

'I will not last another, I fear,' you joked.

'What is it?'

Sihtric had only been discharged from the hospital earlier today, with a wheelchair while one arm was still in a cast. And the man was a whole hazard.

He burned his hands twice in five minutes while using the oven once back home, still having no sensation in his fingers, and you quickly realised he could not move safely around the house on his own. You hadn't planned on really staying the night, but he clearly needed the help, and you had managed to get a few weeks off work anyway. Finan had helped move the bed downstairs before he had to go to work again, and Sihtric had already made it very clear that he wanted you to sleep in bed with him.

And you didn't mind at all, but to get him ready for bed was not as simple as you thought. After the sweater disaster, you finally got to change into your pyjamas, and you helped Sihtric out of his wheelchair, onto the bed. You were about to get under the covers when you noticed he kept staring at you without moving.

'Can you help me take my sweatpants off?'

'Really?' you snorted and blushed, 'because I'm pretty sure you can do that on your own?'

'No, I need help, lady,' Sihtric said slyly.

You sighed and shook your head, 'You're really going to take advantage of this, aren't you?'

Sihtric didn't answer but his grin told you what you already expected.

'You're lucky you're so damn cute,' you huffed and pulled his sweatpants down, pretending you were very bothered by it.

'Thank you,' he said quietly with a shy smile before he tried to get comfortable in bed.

'It's all good,' you smiled, brushing your fingers through his soft, short hair.

'Thank you, baby,' Sihtric suddenly said again, sincerely, 'I- I don't think many people would do this for someone they only recently met, I mean,' he paused, 'it's quite a thing to look after an injured person. And I feel I am asking a lot of you. So, I- I'm sorry for that… I really am. But I can't lie, I'm also really happy that you're here with me.'

'It's okay,' you smiled, 'it wouldn't feel right if I just turned my back on you now. And, well, I… like you too much to just leave.'

'I like you too,' Sihtric smiled and carefully sat back up again.

He placed his hand on the back of your head, leaning his forehead against yours, and closed his eyes as he nuzzled your nose, 'I really, really like you, baby,' he whispered.

And it was only seconds after he kissed your lips that the torturous desire you felt when you had kissed the first time came right back at you.

'One more,' Sihtric demanded with his sweet smile after each peck, making you lay down with him, and you lovingly kissed until you both dozed off.

*******************

'Sihtric?' you quickly switched on a light and reached out to the man next to you, who was sweating and twitching, murmuring in his native tongue as he hissed in pain. You shook his undamaged shoulder as hard as you could, figuring he had a nightmare, 'hey! Hey, wake up!'

As you got no reply, you sat back with your hands in your hair, thinking what else you could do to wake him up without hurting him in any way, while he groaned in pain as he trembled. You looked around you, bewildered, when suddenly a car outside honked loudly, causing Sihtric to abruptly scream out with a low, heavy grunt as he nearly jumped out of his bed, after which he groaned in pain. Sihtric gasped for air as he turned to look at you, his face just as frightened as yours. And without thinking he reached out for you, feeling absolutely terrified after the car had woken him from his nightmare, about his crash.

'Hey,' you whispered, holding him carefully in your arms, 'it's okay, babe. That car is far away and outside. You're safe, I promise.'

'I know,' Sihtric sighed, on the verge of tears, and he flinched when that same car outside honked again.

'Sihtric,' you whispered, taking his face in your hands, 'how did you sleep in the hospital? Did you have nightmares there too?'

'They… they basically drugged me to sleep, I don't remember having any dreams or nightmares while I was there.'

He closed his eyes and squeezed your arm, rather hard again, without realising it.

'Hey, you're… you're hurting me,' you said cautiously, not wanting him to freak out right now, like he had done in the hospital some time ago.

Because now there was no one here to help you. But Sihtric quickly pulled his hand back and looked away from you, ashamed.

'I'm sorry, baby,' he whispered, 'I just… wish I- I could feel you. I need…' he inhaled sharply and shook his head.

You gently took his face in your hands again and kissed his lips.

'You can feel me,' you said, kissing his lips again. 'I'm right here, baby,' you softly kissed his chin, his jaw and then his neck, making him let out a sudden moan. And he laid back down, letting his head fall back onto his pillow.

'Please,' Sihtric whispered as he felt your lips trailing all the way down from his throat to his waist, 'oh, please, baby,' he begged as his breathing quickened.

'Can you feel me?' you asked after you kissed just above his hip.

'Y-yes,' he almost cried out, 'baby, will you… will you… can…I-,' Sihtric looked at you and swallowed hard, desperate for only one thing right now, but too ashamed to ask.

'Suck your…' you guessed with a chuckle, to which Sihtric broke out in a laugh too.

He blushed, and tried to look away from you.

'Y-yeah?' he asked shyly, 'would… you?'

'If you promise you keep your hands off me,' you smiled just as shyly.

You truly did not want to find out how painful his grip would become when you pleasured him, while he still couldn't feel you in his hands.

'I promise,' Sihtric was quick to say.

'Okay, good,' you smiled.

And you made sure Sihtric felt you that night. And as he had longed for you so badly, he had no control whatsoever over his desperate moans and grunts while he truly felt you.

****************

Sihtric had been staring at you for nearly an hour before you finally woke up. He could've nudged you awake, but he thought you looked too beautiful in the morning sun to be disturbed. And he couldn't believe he was lucky enough to have met you, let alone to have you in his bed, and waking up next to you.

'Hey,' Sihtric smiled when you blinked a little confused at him.

'Hey,' you chuckled, remembering where you were, with who you were and also what you had done the night before. And you blushed a little when it all came back to your memory.

'I, ehh,' Sihtric said and grimaced, 'I need to go to the bathroom… for a while already…'

'Oh,' you jumped up, 'why didn't you just wake me up?'

Sihtric shrugged with a shy smile and you helped him to his wheelchair, to the bathroom.

You quickly got dressed and told him, through the bathroom door, that you were going out for some groceries. Sihtric said he was going to take a shower, since he was in the bathroom now anyway, and you told him to call if he needed anything.

*****************

Your trip took longer than expected, but Sihtric didn't call, so you didn't worry, until you got back to his house.

'Sihtric?' you frowned as you didn't see him in bed or on the couch.

The bathroom door was open and the air was a little damp, so you knew he had showered.

'Sihtric?' you called out again, concerned.

'H-here,' he said softly, his voice coming from the bathroom.

You rushed over and found him on the floor, with a new bruise on his face.

'Oh, my god. Are you okay? What happened?' you asked and cupped his cheeks.

'Yeah, I… I thought I could make it back on my own, but I guess my legs aren't that strong yet,' he sighed, looking up at you and he smiled softly, 'I fell and hit my head against the door handle, but I'm okay, I promise.'

'How long have you been here?' you asked and quickly got his wheelchair.

'Shortly after you left…'

'Babe!' you almost yelled, 'why didn't you call me?'

'My… my phone's on the bed,' Sihtric smiled sheepishly.

'Oh, god,' you sighed, pouting, 'you helpless little bird,' you pecked his bruised cheek, 'come here.'

******************

The next few weeks went by fast. Sihtric improved slowly but surely, and he finally got rid of the last cast; his arm was free again. You were happy, and so was the hot mechanic, but back home, he frowned at his shirtless body in the mirror while leaning on his crutches.

'I can't believe I lost most of my muscles,' Sihtric complained, looking down at his recently freed arm.

'Babe, you almost died, and you're complaining about your abs and biceps?'

You rolled your eyes. He still looked more muscular than any other man you met before, but Sihtric clearly thought it wasn't a good look.

'Well, I worked hard for those,' he huffed.

'And you will be able to do that again, I'm sure.'

'I really look like a helpless little bird now,' he grimaced.

'No you don't,' you chuckled, 'you look alive, Sihtric, and it's a really good look on you,' you smiled softly and cupped his cheeks, 'and I'm so happy you're alive,' you said, tearing up.

And it felt as if suddenly every emotion since the accident came out all at once, and Sihtric held you tight as you cried, while he finally allowed himself to really think about the horrendous past weeks.

'I was so scared, Siht,' you sniffled, 'I felt so bad, I should've never… never asked you to pick me up that day.'

'Please don't say that, baby,' Sihtric said through his tears, 'it was my own choice. I wanted to see you after work, and I also decided on my own that I wanted to go back to you that night. I made that decision. Whatever happened after I turned around…' he sighed, '... it just happened. It wasn't my fault and it definitely wasn't your fault, sweetheart. Yes, it could have ended very differently…'

'I would have never forgiven myself,' you sobbed and looked up at him, 'I would've never gotten over you, Sihtric, never. I…,' you inhaled sharply with shocking shoulders, 'I- I love you,' you suddenly blurted out.

Sihtric stared at you, a crying mess with huge eyes. He took your face in his hands, dropping his crutches as he did, which caused him to fall down to his recently fractured knees, pulling you down with him as he groaned in pain once he hit the floor.

'What?' he whispered, bewildered and in pain, trying to feel your face in his hands as gently as he could, 'what- what did you s-say?'

'I love you,' your voice trembled, your hands moving through his hair, 'I- I love you. Sihtric, I love you.'

'No,' Sihtric whispered, confused, 'are you… are you sure?'

'What?' you laughed as you cried, 'yes! Of course I am sure-'

Before you could finish your sentence, Sihtric pulled you in for a kiss. His hands trembled as he held your face, carefully, and he kissed you in a way you had never been kissed before. Pouring all his love and bottled up feelings out by simply capturing your lips in a passionate kiss.

'I love you,' he said, hoarsely, kissing your lips again, 'I love you, baby, so much,' he said in between kisses and sobs, 'you're my girl. You're mine, little lady.'

'I love you too,' you said, feeling yourself tear up again as you wrapped your arms around his neck, 'I love you so much.'

And the endless exchange of 'I love yous' continued for a long time that night.

********************

A few days later Sihtric had dragged himself to the kitchen, where he suddenly let out a yelp.

'What?' you jumped up from the couch, 'what is it? Are you hurt?'

'No, Sihtric stared at his hand, 'actually… yes?'

'What?' you ran over to him.

'I…I burned… I burned my h-hand?'

'Again? Baby,' you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, 'I know you don't feel a thing but you-'

'No, no,' he interrupted you, 'I- I felt it. It hurted. Only slightly but…'

'You felt it?' you gasped, 'are you sure?'

'I think so?' Sihtric furrowed his brows, looking at his hands, 'hm… no, I… I definitely felt something.'

'Oh my god,' you said and grabbed your phone.

You were quick to call the hospital, telling them what had happened and asking what to do now. They told you they can't help him at the hospital, so there was no need to come back.

The nurse on the phone did however give you a few ideas on how to and try stimulate the sensation in his hands and fingers, and you couldn't deny you were quite eager to try those ideas.

***************

'Okay, so what are we doing?' Sihtric frowned after you had lured him onto his bed.

'The nurse,' you said, 'she gave me some ideas to try and stimulate any sensation in your hands and fingers. It's also a way to test if you truly feel things again, or if it was just a random moment earlier today.'

'Okay,' Sihtric said, 'so… why is there a blindfold?'

'Well,' you chuckled, 'the idea is to blindfold you, if you are up for that, and I have a cup with warm water and a cup with cold water. The idea is to wet your fingers individually to see if you can feel the temperature.'

'Really?' Sihtric had to laugh, 'I mean, sure, go ahead,' he said and pecked your lips before he sat back.

'Not too tight?' you asked after you blindfolded him with one of his ties.

'No, it's fine,' he smiled, '... baby?'

'Yeah?'

'One more?'

You chuckled softly and leaned in to kiss his lips.

'I love you,' you whispered.

'I love you too.'

The idea was to take his hand and slowly dip his fingers in the cups with water, but you couldn't help making it a little spicier, which you thought Sihtric wouldn't mind either, he just had no idea what you were up to.

'Are you ready?' you asked.

'Mhm,' Sihtric hummed as you took his hand.

'Remember, you have to tell me what you feel, okay?'

'I will… if I feel something.'

You took a few sips of warm water, kept it in your mouth and brought his hand up to your face, seeing Sihtric frowned a little, but he said nothing. You grinned, after swallowing the warm water, and brought his index finger into your mouth, gently, to which Sihtric immediately tensed up.

'B-baby?' he inhaled sharply, swallowing hard as he felt your warm tongue against his digit, 'what- what are you… what are you doing?' his breathing increased rapidly as he faintly felt his finger slowly being removed from your lips.

'Tell me what you feel, warm or cold?' you smiled.

'W-warm,' Sihtric said, his chest heaving up and down, and he chuckled lightly.

'Correct,' smiled, and you repeated the same trick with one of his other fingers. Which didn't calm him down at all, but he wasn't telling you to stop.

You mixed it up when you took his other hand after drinking the cold water. A heavy moan escaped Sihtric's lips, as you took two of his fingers in your mouth, allowing him to feel a slight cold sensation as you sucked his fingers.

'G-gods, baby,' he moaned, 'what are you d-doing to me?'

'Can you feel it?'

'Yes,' he breathed, 'faintly, but I can feel it.'

'Can you feel this?' you asked, bringing his hand up into your hair.

'Yeah, a bit,' Sihtric smiled and sighed, his fingers carefully moving through your soft hair.

'And… this?' you asked, with a smirk, after you had moved his hand up under your shirt, cupping your breast.

Sihtric immediately pulled off the tie that made for a blindfold, looking at you with wide eyes. And only a second later you found yourself underneath the hot mechanic, who was not in any way, shape or form ready for a wild night in bed. But you did find out that night that Sihtric was good with his hands… and his tongue.

******************

Another few days passed, and your time off work was over. In fact, your work had absolutely ruined your life on the first day already. And you slammed the door shut behind you when you got back to Sihtric'.

'What's wrong?' he asked, cupping your cheek while leaning on one crutch.

'It's work,' you sniffled, 'I… I have to… to leave.'

'They fired you?' Sihtric frowned.

'No, no, not like that,' you sobbed, 'I have to work abroad for two months, they have no one else with the knowledge to take on the job. I'm forced to do it.'

'What?'

'I don't want to go,' you looked up at Sihtric, 'I don't want to be without you, I don't want to leave you on your own!'

'W-where are they sending you?' Sihtric asked, trying to keep a straight face, but his voice betrayed him. He was just as upset as you were.

'France,' you cried, 'fucking France! I don't even like it there!'

'France?' Sihtric asked, 'but… I… for t-two months? When?'

'In two days,' you cried even harder.

'Two days?!'

'I'm so sorry,' you clung onto him, 'I'm so sorry, love, I tried everything to stay but… I- I can't fix it, I have to go… I need this job, I can't quit.'

'No, it's…it's not your fault. I just,' Sihtric sniffled, 'I just wish we had… we had more time.'

'Will you be okay?'

'Y-yeah, I mean… therapy is going well, I will be okay. But I'll… I'll,' he broke in tears, 'I'll miss you so much, baby.'

'I'll miss you too,' you bawled, 'are we g-good? I mean, is… you know, whatever this relationship exactly is… is it strong enough to survive t-two months of us being apart?'

'Of course it is,' Sihtric hushed you with a kiss, 'I love you, lady. And you're mine, right? You're my girl?'

'I am,' you wiped your tears, 'are you... are you my man?'

'I am, baby,' he smiled, kissing your lips again, 'I am all yours. Forever, and ever,' he pecked your lips,' and ever, and fucking ever, princess, I'll be your man. But promise me one thing?'

'What?'

'Don't run off with some French guy who repairs your sink or something, okay?'

'God, never,' you chuckled, 'never, Sihtric. No one compares to you.'

*********************

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#sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #sihtric #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #tlk #modern!sihtric

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dialovers-translations · 1 year

Text

DIABOLIK LOVERS Para-Selene Vol.7 Sakamaki Reiji Animate Tokuten CD

Original title: DIABOLIK LOVERS Para-Selene Vol. 7 逆巻レイジアニメイト各巻購入特典ドラ

Source: Diabolik Lovers Para-Selene Vol. 7 Animate Tokuten CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi

Translator’s note: Reiji just got his Masters degree in the Arts of the Gentleman because DAMN is he smooth in this one. I feel like they went a little overboard to be honest because at the very beginning, it felt like a completely different character. I know the boys have been tonded down a lot in the later games but this is just sugary sweet overload, even for a fluff-lover like myself. :p

The two of you are at the movie theater.

“It is rather crowded. ...This movie theater opened its doors very recently, which might be why it is so popular. That being said, this romance movie you wanted to see...’It will leave you seeking out a beautiful love’ That is quite the bold slogan.”

You voice your excitement.

“I see. Getting to witness your smile brings me much joy as well. We came here today to please you after all. Now if you’d please give me your hand. I would rather not have you wander off out of my sight.”

*Rustle*

“Well then, this way, please.”

Reiji escorts you towards the right hall.

*Rustle*

“I believe we will be able to enjoy the movie to its fullest here.”

You look around in confusion.

“It’s a private room. I believed that with a regular seat, there could be distractions in the audience such as latecomers or people fidgeting with their phones during the viewing. In here, we will be able to enjoy a comfortable time together, not having to worry about anyone interrupting once we close the door behind us. I believe you would like to watch the movie in an optimal environment as well?”

You thank him.

“No need to thank me. Ah, right. I went for a refreshing tea soda as our welcoming drink. I hope you will like it.”

*Cling*

“Cheers.”

*Cling*

You tell him it is delicious.

“Fufu...I am glad to hear that.”

*Thud thuuuuud*

“Oh dear. I suppose it is starting already. Well then, let us focus on the movie.”

You start watching the movie.

“You seem to be having fun...”

You tilt your head to the side.

“No. It’s nothing. Please continue watching.”

( I suppose I am simply not the right target demographic. However, as long as she is having a good time, that is all what matters to me. That being said...It will take about another hour until the movie ends. I doubt I will be able to endure it for that long. )

“...I am going to get some fresh air outside.”

Reiji gets up from his seat.

“I will only be away for a couple of minutes. You seem to be immersed in the movie, so you should be fine being alone for a bit. ーー Or so I thought, but do you really do not want to be apart for even a short while?”

You nod.

“I see. If that’s what you want, I shall stay by your side.”

He sits back down as you apologize.

“No need to say sorry. We’re here for you today. As long as you enjoy the movie, I will feel satisfied as well.”

You smile.

“I am glad to be able to see you smile like that. ...Oh my? How come your cheeks have turned this red? Are you trying to entice me, perhaps?”

You shake your head.

“You may shake your head, but with that look in your eyes, I find it hard to believe your denial. Even your nape has turned a slight crimson, as if it is begging for me to latch onto it.”

*Rustle*

“...I wish you would realize already that whenever you get flustered like that, it only makes it seem like you are trying to seduce me even more. ーー I suppose I shall have a taste of your blood.”

You mention the movie.

“I see...How careless of me. However, your reactions were simply adorable, it completely slipped my mind that the movie was still playing. ーー Ah, this is scene featured on the film’s poster. What a beautiful sunset. ...My bad. I suppose you cannot watch the movie from your current position. ...Now then, come here.”

*Rustle*

“There you could. It will be easy to watch when seated on my lap, no? Besides...”

*Rustle*

“ーー By embracing you from behind like this, I get to enjoy our time together to the fullest. ...Fufu. Your heartrate has increased. We are the only two people in this room, so no need to get so embarrassed. Come on, please keep your eyes on the screen. I believe this is an important scene where both characters convey their love for each other.”

*Rustle rustle*

“Fufufu...My pardon. I did not think that would startle you so much. I was going to behave and simply enjoy this moment until the movie had ended, but after feeling yoru touch, I could not help but want to bite you.”

You admit to also enjoying this moment together.

“I am glad to hear you say that. Well then...Let us enjoy this time together to our hearts’ content. You shall be totally absorbed in me, you will not even be able to make out what the characters are saying.”

*TIMESKIP*

The movie reaches its climax.

“Oh...? It is over already?”

You raise your head.

“I am referring to the movie. The two gaze into each other’s eyes as a beautiful melody plays in the background...I suppose it is the climax of the story. Usually these sort of movies end with a kiss scene. Fufu...Go and take a look.”

You turn your head.

*Rustle*

“Oh dear...To start blushing from a mere kiss scene, you will remain pure like that forever, won’t you?”

The movie ends.

“In the end...The movie ended up on the backburner, but personally I very much enjoyed this day together. How about you?”

You tell him that you enjoyed the day as well.

“Heh...I see. I am glad to hear that. However, now that you mention it...I suppose it is true we have not been able to relax like this together very often as of late. Let us set up a date plan together once we get home. Let me know if there is anything you would like to do. Today, I shall listen to your every wish.”

*Rustle*

“I am glad you like the sound of that. Please try and think of something by then. ーー Well then, shall we head home? Be careful of your step.”

You get up and nearly trip.

*Thud*

“...Ah! As if on cue...You truly are careless.”

*Rustle rustle*

“When I consider the possibility of you getting hurt...It drives me crazy. I would rather not have a repeat of what happened just now, so please grab hold of my hand.”

*Rustle*

“I shall escort you till we are back home ー actually no, until I decide that it is okay. I promise that I shall not let go of your hand until we have reached our room. Please keep that in mind.”

He escorts you out of the room.

ーー THE END ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #reiji sakamaki #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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vermil1ion-sky · 1 year

Text

Reader getting injured in a fight and trying to act tough.

Characters: Scaramouche.

Just a little something to start posting aghdhgfhjd

"You're an idiot." You turn to glare at Scaramouche, who stands in the doorway of the bathroom. "Careless."

"Alright I get it okay?" With a sigh, you turn back to the mirror, cleaning the fresh cuts on your face. "Would it kill you to be nice just once?"

"This is me being nice." Scaramouche frowns. "I could say worse things right now, and it'd all be justified"

You roll your eyes, still carefully cleaning your injuries. "It's not my fault I got ambushed, the forest has good places to hide..."

"Or maybe you're just not observant enough of your surroundings."

You wave a hand dismissively at him and out of the corner of your eye, you can tell he's really annoyed. Yeah, you got a couple of scratches out of a fight, you think that’s a normal thing to happen

"Whatever. I could've dealt with them fine without you jumping in."

Scaramouche scoffs, crossing his arms while looking amused. "Oh yeah? Because from where I stood, you'd be fertilizer in the Avidya forest had I not 'jumped in' then." He takes a step forward making sure he's in your line of sight and smirks mockingly. "Would it kill you to admit you needed my help?"

You push him away slightly, turning to look at him with an annoyed look. "If you're not going to help then I suggest you get out and do something else other than mocking me."

He doesn't move, just stares as you try to mentally block him out. You wipe the largest cut on your cheek a little too harsh and it makes you flinch. "Damn it..."

Scaramouche sighs and opens his hand towards you, like he’s waiting for you to give him something. You look at him quizzically. "...What?"

He definitely looks more annoyed than before, grabbing the cloth you were using to clean your cuts. You’re about to protest, and he grabs your chin, making you turn towards him. “H-Hey! What-”

“Be quiet.” Scaramouche keeps your head steady and, to your surprise, he picks up on cleaning your wounds. He sees you looking at him confused and he simply raises an eyebrow. “...You said I should leave if I wasn’t going to help... so...”

‘I don’t want to leave you’

Is what you interpret from his words, or lack thereof, and you feel a fluttering in your heart, praying to any archon listening that he didn’t notice the way your heartbeat accelerated and how the tip of your ears feel warmer.

You stay still, his grip on your face surprisingly... soft, for someone as brash as him. He’s entirely focused on making sure your cuts won’t get infected, he passes a particularly sore spot, making you flinch but his hand keeps you in place.

His thumb softly caresses your cheek, maybe a reflex or maybe it’s his own way of comforting you.

Soon enough, he finishes. He throws the now used rag to the trash, letting go of your face. You stand there awkwardly for a little while, unsure of what to say, until you decide to break the silence.

“... Thanks...” Scaramouche looks at you and you expect him to tease you, to call you the names you’re both used to throwing at each other. It’s how your relationship works; tough words easily mistaken by outsiders as a mutual hatred, as two enemies merely tolerating the other, about to rip each others’ throats any second. Little would those people know it’s just your strange way of showing affection.

Strange, but it works well enough for the both of you.

Scaramouche simply sighs, rubbing the back of his neck - a telltale sign that he’s embarrassed, you’ve come to learn. “...t’s fine”

“...I mean it... Not just now but, um, before...” You look away, refusing to make eye contact; refusing to acknowledge that you’re about to say ‘you were right’ to your boyfriend of all people. “I really did need the help so, uh... y’know...”

The air is silent, awkwardness hanging in the air as you’re both standing there, not saying anything... The tension slowly feels like its draining everything from you.

So with a deep breath and a lot of courage, you step forward towards Scaramouche, and you grab his face, lightly squishing his cheeks with your hands. Before he’s able to protest, you pull him closer, pressing a kiss to his cheek and whatever he was going to say dies in his tongue instantly.

“... Thank you for looking after me.”

What you thought would’ve been a solution to the silence ended up making it worse, as the air feels almost suffocating now. Slowly but surely, you feel your face heat up with embarrassment; the way Scara looks at you with surprise plastered all over his face certainly isn’t helping. You quickly let go of his face as if the mere touch burns your skin.

You turn to leave and maybe hide in your bed until the embarrassment passes but you’re janked back by your wrist, twisting around and clashing into a strong pair of arms, his lips capturing yours in an intense kiss that you can’t help but melt into. All the emotions Scaramouche can’t show with words, you can feel in the kiss.

He pulls away first, keeping his face close to yours. There’s a tenderness to his gaze that you rarely see, a vulnerability he shows to no one but yourself. His hand cups your cheek and you instinctively lean into his touch, craving whatever form of affection he’s willing to give right now; his thumb brushes over your bottom lip and he leans forward close to your ear, his breath tickling you and making you shiver.

“... Don’t start getting into fights just to make me kiss you...”

With that alone, the soft atmosphere switches to your usual bickering state. You push him away, jokingly and he knows it, covering your ear, the frown on your face completely negated of it’s intimidating intent with how red your cheeks are.

“You are insufferable.”

“Yeah... but you like it.”

#scaramouche x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact scenarios #scaramouche x you

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lewkwoodnco · 8 months

Text

Question...? - Lockwood x Reader

A/N: saw your other ask, no worries :))) I love getting requests for fics because it helps broaden my scope of writing (instead of the same issues each time) and lets me practice being creative! So by all means, request away! :D Also for this fic, let's pretend that Fetches are better observed by people with Sight hehe. 4.8k

The four of them were in a mansion for which they were hired to get rid of a phantasm. She was the newest addition to the agency, having started a few weeks ago, so she was nervous, especially since she relied more on her Listening and Touch. Still, while training, it had been amply impressed on her that little could go wrong as long as the proper precautions were taken, and she always upheld those words of advice.

She was walking in a circle, laying down their iron chains on the first floor while Lucy and George were setting up detection equipment on the upper floors. Lockwood was pacing the room, trying to get a feel of the area the Phantasm showed up most frequently in. She looked up, mildly concerned by Lockwood's tired yet pensive expression. Their eyes briefly met, and they weakly smiled at each other. Lockwood looked preoccupied, and she felt nauseous. She had been lucky enough to have never experienced a case gone awry like the others had, but it instilled this new fear in her at the beginning of every case: that this one might be it.

Life at Lockwood & Co. was far from idyllic, but it didn't take long for the three mismatched friends to burrow their place in her heart. Because they were friends. All of them. Equally special friends. She closed on eye to Lockwood buttering her bread for her every morning because of how she struggled to get it to melt on the toast. She closed another eye to Lockwood having an extra cup of tea ready just for her at night even though she always insisted that she was going to bed. Really, the only way she could handle the skip in her heartbeat when Lockwood looked at her for too long was by ignoring him altogether.

Sometimes she would look at Lockwood and her heart would stutter. Every touch, every glance reeked of repression, but she was too conscious of their situation, probably excessively so, so it was never simple, never easy. The thought would flit through her mind and she would be seized by this sudden urge to reach out, but she would swallow the compulsion and contend with gazing from afar. It wasn't holding his hand, it was holding his hand in front of DEPRAC or Fittes. It wasn't kissing him, it was kissing him in front of George and Lucy. It wasn't loving Lockwood, it was loving him under the watchful, judgmental eyes of the city of London. Her emotions spooked her with how exposed they made her feel, All her doubts and insecurities encroached on their relationship until there was simply no room left for love.

The clock struck one, and Lucy and George came running down the stairs. Since both her and Lucy had pretty much no sight, they were supposed to stay inside the iron circle while Lockwood and George handled the Phantasm. The boys stood by the door, rapiers drawn, ready to follow it to its source. But the seconds ticked by and they remained there with their rapiers drawn while Lucy and her watched expectantly. Lockwood lowered his weapon, looking even more troubled than before, cursing softly.

"Shit. It knows we're here."

She worriedly glanced at Lucy who gave her a small nod. Together, they simultaneously stepped out of the iron circle, drawing their rapiers. They huddled together, each facing a different wall, slowly rotating. Everyone else looked alert yet comfortable, poised to strike, but she felt a lot more hesitant. Preliminary reports had pointed to the visitor being relatively easy to neutralise, so it unnerved her to be needed, especially this early on. She inhaled, straining her eyes, hoping for some traces of Sight to kick in.

All that did was made her eyes water, blurring the wall in front of her. She blinked, then coughed, and still the haziness didn't disappear. Lockwood, who was standing next to her, turned, frowning at her cough. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I just think there's something in my eye."

"Something in your-" He stopped short when he glanced at the wall she was facing, the blood suddenly rushing from his pale face. He gripped her shoulders and tumbled, bringing her down with him. She panted, highly disoriented by having the wind knocked out of her, distantly aware of some kerfuffle beginning. She felt a strong pair of hands drag her back towards the iron circle, and she looked up to see Lucy's panicked face. By then, her wits had sufficiently returned for her to properly assess what had just happened. What on earth were George and Lockwood doing, fighting the wall-

The realisation struck her unpleasantly just as the boys started chasing something invisible up the stairs, leaving an acidic taste in her mouth. The wall of haze was the Phantasm. No wonder Lockwood looked like he was going to have an aneurysm. So much for trying to screw up some faint traces of Sight. Two feet in front of her, and it was still as good as air. Lucy must have noticed the distraught expression on her face. "Hey, I can't see it either. It'll be alright, you'll see. No harm, no foul."

She nodded, feeling a hot prickling behind her eyes. God, the last thing she needed was to start crying at her first less-than-smooth job. That would be the icing on the cake of her embarrassment. She turned away, trying to calm herself down. When she looked back, the boys were coming down the stairs, cobwebs dusting George's shoulders. He held up what looked like a box wrapped in a net.

"Found the source. Music box. Oddly quaint."

Lockwood, on the other hand, was a different story. His face was stony and he was clearly trying to contain some kind of rage, struggling to spit out words.

"Cab. Home. Now."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If she thought the feeling of messing up during the job itself was bad, she was not prepared for the cab ride home. Even with George and the equipment uncomfortably wedged between them, she could still feel Lockwood glowering from the other end of the cab. She stared out at the dismal night landscape, the nauseous feeling back in full force. She was so dead.

When they reached, Lockwood walked off first, George and Lucy close behind, carrying in the equipment. She trailed behind them miserably. Lockwood was sitting in the kitchen, hands clasped tightly. He didn't waste a second.

"That was unbelievably dangerous. What about the plan we discussed?"

"Lucy left the circle, so obviously I was going to follow her."

"Lucy is a much more experienced agent than you. She knew what she was doing. Unlike yourself."

"I didn't mean to, it just happened. I set up the chains and lavender as we were supposed to. I was only acting as I was taught."

"No, you weren't, because if you were, you'd have been in that circle. Waiting, not meddling, like I specifically asked you!"

"Lucy stepped out of the circle!"

"I don't care about what Lucy did or didn't do. If you want to act like Lucy, then you need to be skilled like Lucy. Experienced. Which you aren't."

"Yeah, I know that."

"All it takes is one mistake."

"I know."

"So you agree."

"Yes."

"And we're on the same page?"

He was looking up at her with little hostility, but the air between them suddenly felt cold. Something had changed, she was sure of it, but she wasn't quite sure what. Even George and Lucy, who had been putting together some tea, slowed down.

"I-I don't quite follow."

"Y/N L/N, you are officially relieved of your contractually-obligated duties at Lockwood & Co."

She was too stunned to come up with any sort of response. No sadness, no anger, no remorse. Just a haze of confusion settling over her numb mental landscape. Lucy, on the other hand, started loudly scolding Lockwood, who acted like he took no notice, except for speaking even louder to drown out her harsh voice, his feathers finally beginning to get ruffled.

"I cannot, in good faith, continue to employ you and enable you in these-these suicidal ideations-"

"Suicidal ideations?" Lucy looked like she wanted to cut Lockwood with the butter knife she was holding.

"- plainly put, you are little more than a liability." Though his words were professional, his expression was anything but detached. Lockwood wasn't the type to openly display anger, but she could feel that he was somehow even more furious than her over her blunder. Liability? The word echoed in her brain. She needed to sit down. Oh my god, she was ruined. What agency would want her now?

"You can collect your severance pay here..." Lockwood scribbled out a cheque and she numbly accepted it, still catching up. "And you have twenty-four hours to leave."

She mouthed wordlessly. It was true, she had acted foolishly. Perhaps even more foolishly when she assumed she's get a second chance.

"Lockwood," it was George's turn to speak now. "Stop being a bloody idiot. It was one time. Let it go."

"It's my agency. It's my decision. If you don't like it, you can leave with her."

She had never seen George look so pissed or so ready to punch someone. Lockwood returned his disgusted glare with a steely stare of his own. There seemed to be some kind of silent argument between the two boys before George turned away and walked to his room, slamming the door.

He didn't even look at her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her departure had created a quiet vacuum at 35 Portland Row. Lucy had begged her not to leave, to stay until she and George knocked some sense into Lockwood. But he was right. She didn't even have anything to say to him. She had to accept that there was nothing left for her at Lockwood & Co, and move on. She tapped on George's door on the way out, and the shuffling from the inside let her know that he was listening. She said her goodbyes and continued on.

She passed Lockwood's room, whose door was ajar. Unknowingly, her eyes flitted through the gap, seeing Lockwood standing with her back to her. He was fixing his tie in the mirror, and there were dark circles ringing his suspiciously red eyes. Even in that split second, their eyes somehow met. He started, then began to turn, but she couldn't bear it. She walked past his door, went down the stairs, and walked straight out of the only home she'd ever known. So she managed to glimpse everyone at 35 Portland Row one last time before leaving, but she didn't see the cold cup of tea waiting for her on the kitchen counter.

After that, Lucy started going out on fewer jobs, George never forgave Lockwood for reasons bigger than letting a colleague go, and Lockwood stuck his head in the sand, refusing to admit anything was amiss. All the while, the three of them grew sicker and quieter, tensions surfacing more frequently. Lucy had to break up a fist fight between George and Lockwood more than once, and dealing with it all alone took a toll on her. George shut himself up in his room with his experiments, deteriorating from his loss of contact with other people, and Lockwood threw himself into their jobs with newfound reckless abandon.

Not that she knew anything about any of that.

She was having a hard enough time trying to land on her feet. After she managed to rent a place, it took her a while to decide how to move forward. Maybe it was because it was he who had done the firing, but she couldn't get Lockwood off her mind. She knew that there had been nothing between them - they were only friends at best, colleagues at worst - but she caught herself thinking about the quiet hours of the nights in the shadows of the library, the deep timbre of his voice resonating in her bones, the cautious warmth seeping through her as she sipped her tea, the flicker of the fireplace and how it reflected in Lockwood's eyes...It was as though she had forgotten who she was before Lockwood & Co, or even who she was outside of those fleeting glances over yellowed pages.

But she had to move on, so she did. Stumbling at first, before gradually gaining a stable footing, she started out as a private agent: no company needed. But being an individual agent had most of the paperwork of a normal agent, and she never was the best at paperwork, so she hired Michael, an administrative assistant who came with the added bonus of joining her in the field for the tougher cases. It felt wrong to apply to other companies, and as childish as it sounded, she didn't want to work at another company that wasn't Lockwood & Co., chock-full of recluse maniacs.

And this flimsy prayer was somehow answered. A few months in, Barnes called her in for her help on a mansion the Council wanted to tear down. It had been left untouched for quite a while, but he was being pressured to finally address its visitor infestation problem. He had mentioned something about sending in another team to help, but she hadn't thought to ask for more details until she showed up to the location.

"Hello!" Michael was a cheery person, and Lucy returned his smile with one of her own. Even George waved at him, but Lockwood just stared darkly. Something about him was more withdrawn and skittish now. He was civil enough to shake Michael's hand and mumble a greeting, but there was something strained in his movements, as if deeply confused. He nodded at her and she gave him a tight cursory smile. That same melancholy that she had seen on his face the night before the case and again in his bedroom before leaving started to reappear. She looked away before she could start to care. It wasn't any of her business. Lockwood had made that crystal clear.

They left their bags on the kitchen island and started to make their way upstairs. They started placing their temperature detectors in the rooms and looked around for any false walls or hidden cavities where sources might be hidden, but didn't find any. Much like her last case at Lockwood & Co., the visitors were reported to have shown up more frequently on the higher floors. Unlike that last case, she wasn't going to make the same mistake of ignoring the ground floor. Eventually, they were done with their preliminary readings and had a quick snack in the kitchen. Michael finished first and dusted his hands.

"I'll do the chains."

"Y/N can do the chains." Lockwood bit out, with a harsher edge that Michael didn't seem to pick up on.

"Oh, I just thought that it might tire her out, to do it in a house as charged with psychic energy as this one." He threw her a look that she didn't quite understand. It was true that he always insisted on laying down the chains for more dangerous locations, but she had always thought it was just him trying to be helpful. Now, she wasn't so sure.

"Why, 'cause she's a girl?"

The rest of them exchanged glances. Michael stared at Lockwood for a while, and he stared back. Finally, he shrugged and handed her the chains. She crammed the last of her sandwich into her mouth as she started laying the chains down, months-old confusion bubbling inside of her again. It was true that she had always been in charge of chains while at Lockwood & Co., but things were different now.

By the time she was done with the chains, everyone else had started to come up to take their positions. She went down to the ground floor, joining Lockwood at the kitchen island. While dividing themselves up, she had said that she wanted to stay downstairs and George mentioned that Lockwood had the same idea, and so they were grouped together.

Now came the boring part: waiting. They sat in silence for a while, backs to each other, watching their surroundings, but curiosity tugged at them too much.

"So...how have things been?"

"Good, good. I'm a freelance agent now."

"Yeah, you and that dickhead guy."

"Excuse me?"

"He so obviously wants to get in your pants. But, by all means, carry on. That's what you're perfect at, anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

A muscle twitched in his jaw, and that melancholic look hardened. "Nothing."

"It obviously meant something. Out with it."

He spun around, barely hitting the granite countertop, but the sound was enough to make her flinch. "You moved on and left us all behind. We've been stuck in a rut for months now and we can't even do anything about it. How could I beg you to come back after the way I spoke to you?"

His words ripped her apart. All her anger dissolved, replaced by devastation. As hard as she tried, even as time wore on she couldn't help thinking how every month, week, day, hour spent away from Lockwood was time wasted. Maybe it was laughable how strong of a grip he had on her, but she didn't care anymore.

"I would've come." Her voice sounded pathetic and she was close to tears. "I don't care about what you did or didn't say. All you had to do was say the word...and I would've returned in a heartbeat."

Lockwood wouldn't meet her eyes, instead choosing to fiddle with a scratch on the island's surface. He didn't know about the nights she spent at her tiny window, empty eyes unseeingly looking out, desperately yearning for the colour that Lockwood brought into her grey life. She pressed on, voice raw with emotion.

"I've tried to move on. Obviously. It's just...not the same. It never was." How could it have been? Everything was just a second-best luxury without Lockwood. "And if you cared so much, why'd you say all those horrible things in the first place?"

"I had to do what was best for the agency. You were a liability. I'm sure you're professional enough to understand that."

"And I thought you'd be sensitive enough to understand why I felt I was more than a liability." Any hope for reconciliation evaporated. She spoke icily, with disapproval yet nonchalance. "What a disappointment for the both of us."

He turned away, and so did she, a tense silence hanging over the both of them. They really did make a dreadful pair: she was maddening, he was stubborn. Both equally spiteful.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hours passed without a single sign of any of the visitors. She was getting tired of straining her ears, trying to Hear something, anything. All of a sudden, she heard Lockwood get up and walk away. She turned hurriedly, thinking that he had Seen something.

"Sod this. I'm going into the basement."

The one room they hadn't been granted access to was the basement. The key was long-lost, and Barnes told them not to bother with it much, especially since the neighbours only reported sightings at the windows of the higher floors. But clearly that wasn't good enough for Lockwood.

"Don't! We're not allowed."

"You don't understand, Y/N. You haven't been staring at its door for the past hour like I have. It's...calling out to me. Whatever we're looking for, it's hiding down there."

"Don't be reckless." He continued picking the lock. "This wasn't part of the plan!"

The lock gave away, and Lockwood forced the rusty door open. He started walking down the steps, and she followed with an anxious feeling in her stomach.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Following you, dipshit. Like I'd let you walk down here alone."

"You don't need to act like you care. Go back upstairs."

"I don't care? How'd you come up with that brilliant idea?"

"I just know."

She yanked his arm, spinning him around to face her. "Know how?"

"You won't even say my name." (what, and stain it with pride? my bruised ego?)

"Oh yeah? Big deal. You won't even look at me. It's like you don't even want to acknowledge that I exist." She didn't mean to sound bitter, but god did she hate it. (looking at you meant recognising that you were once part of my life, and that meant acknowledging one of my biggest fuck-ups yet.)

There was a tightness at the corners of his mouth. "That isn't true."

"Really? Could've fooled me." She side-stepped him, glaring, continuing down the steps. When they reached the bottom, Lockwood pointed his flashlight at the floor and her stomach heaved. Littering the floor was thousands or tiny doll parts, bent and twisted and scorched. She shrank back while Lockwood reached out, fascinated, as if in a trance. She slapped his hand.

"Don't touch it! These must be the sources. Where's the net?"

"I thought you had the net."

The door swung shut. Her face grew pale. Ghostly fog seeped in from the crack under the door. She barely registered Lockwood taking her hand and dragging her away, to the floor covered with doll parts. Even he looked stricken, his wane face illuminated by the spectral glow. She felt herself crumbling.

"This is it," she said numbly, lost in the throes of despair. "This is...the end of the line. This is how we die."

She could feel Lockwood's clammy palm in her own. Somehow, he had the strength to grip her hand and force some strength into her. "Are you kidding? Either of us could take this lot any day of the week. With both of us?" He tore his eyes away from the advancing visitors, a weak smile ghosting his lips. "It'll be a piece of cake."

He drew his rapier and she reluctantly drew hers. "If we die, I'll never let you live it down. You'll be stuck with me for eternity."

"Don't threaten me with a good time,"

She muttered under her breath. "'Calling out to you,' my foot."

For the next half an hour, they swiped at the visitors materialising in front of them, mostly Type Ones with a few cumbersome Type Twos. There were some close shaves but they were somehow always just a fraction quicker, a fraction further away than their reach. As she sliced the last Spectre, she felt this odd quiet settle over her. They had done it.

And yet, she didn't feel completely calm. The hairs on the back of her neck were still raised. Something was off, even though it was completely silent. Too silent. She turned, startled by the sight of Lockwood on the floor, terror in his eyes. His rapier had been cast to the side, long forgotten, and he appeared to be staring into empty space. This time, the realisation struck just in time.

She sliced through the air in front of Lockwood, hearing a ghostly shriek as the air shifted. Lockwood blinked slowly, chest heaving. That must have been a Fetch. She didn't want to ask what he had seen as he was clearly still shaken up by it. She let him catch his breath before she pulled him up onto his unsteady legs. She tried talking to him, but he couldn't manage a single word. Desperation clawed at her throat and stung her eyes as she helped him up the stairs.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We thought the both of you finished each other off," George was saying, but he stopped short when he saw Lockwood slumped over on her shoulder, lips trembling. She recapped what had happened as quickly as possible, and Lucy and Michael went to cover the sources with their iron nets. He wasn't quite ghost-locked - he was able to move and respond, albeit sluggishly - but he was obviously still deeply affected.

She sent Michael home alone, choosing to fire him later once he was better rested, and travelled to 35 Portland Row with the rest. George and Lucy started to make some tea in the kitchen to calm their nerves, but Lockwood headed straight for the library instead. She found the first aid kit and followed him, stopping short at the threshold.

The room was a mess. Magazines and newspapers littered the floors, there was a book on every surface, and the fireplace looked vacant and unused. The only thing that seemed unchanged was the armchair opposite his, the one she used to sit in. But even that had an air of emptiness hanging around it. Lockwood distractedly pushed away the newspapers on his seat, staring into the ashy fireplace. She drew up a chair and started unpacking the first aid kit.

"You don't have to come back if you don't want."

She sighed. "Good riddance," she said softly, but her features were too taut with tension for there to be any true venom in her words. Because she did want to come back, more than anything in the world, even now. She soaked a piece of cotton in rubbing alcohol, and started cleaning a cut on his face. It wasn't even that deep of a cut, but it made her eyes smart. She could see the ghosts of injuries past, scars that never fully healed, and yet the world was cruel enough to continue slicing him open, physically and emotionally.

"I have-" He grimaced, breathing shallowly. "There's this...lump, sitting in my chest. It's where all my regrets and anger collect. It's so difficult to...say it out loud, acknowledge that it exists, so sometimes I don't. I let the nearest thing take the brunt of my rage." He gripped the arm of his chair, voice getting weaker and weaker. An admission of guilt was an admission of sin, the sin of his cruelty towards someone as pure and well-meaning as her. "When I think about you that night, so clueless to death hovering inches from you...it scares me more than anything else. I know that nothing happened, but sometimes I forget, and then I can't shake the feeling that...you're gone. It makes me lose control, my hands shake..."

He laughed bitterly, almost hysterically, as he sniffled. "And you know me! I'm...the best at communicating. I hoped you'd give up agent work altogether, or at least join a more reputable agency with better resources. I wasn't as mad with you as I was with myself. It was all I could think about for weeks. That I..." He traced the shape of the knuckles of her other hand. "...put you in that position." He looked up at her, eyes glowing with that despondency that showed in his worst times. "I wish I said something. I wish I brave enough."

She looked down, busying herself with some ointment as she felt her cheeks flush and tears threaten to spill. "I get it. I couldn't say anything either. Hell, I pretended that I didn't even feel anything." She blinked, feeling her tears outline the bridge of her nose. "Whenever I think of you, I feel this giddiness. But I also feel this panic. It's like-like...kissing someone in a crowded room. You make me feel so exposed. So vulnerable. So susceptible to getting hurt. Emotion that terrifies."

Lockwood pushed the first aid kit away and she almost instinctively threw herself against his chest, his arms wrapping around her, holding her close. It was so intimate, so sacred, even she felt like an intruder just by being aware of it. His cheek rested on the top of her head, his grip on her a little too strong to be entirely comfortable, but there was something strangely cathartic about it, as if it symbolised recognition of how much it hurt to love him.

They shared a quiet kind of sadness, one tainted by the yearning they had desperately tried to skim over for the past few months. She wasn't crying so much as tears flowing every time she blinked, and Lockwood's stilted breathing indicated the same for him. The time for sobbing until she couldn't breathe was months ago, when she had first left. "I was so scared that something would happen to you...and I wouldn't even know...until it was too late."

"I thought I lost you." His voice was uneven, much like his pulse, and his grip on her still hadn't relented. "I thought it was best for you to stay safe, to stay away, but I kept thinking you would forget me, and move even further away, and...and then my heart would break in two-"

She shifted, leaning her head against his collarbone. "I remember. I remember it all. I remember you."

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