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whumpwillow · 2 years

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Show us that Eli essay 👀

Written in October, 2018 at the time of reading Vengeful, by VE Schwab

SPOILERS also this gets long

again, v.e. schwab, what the fuck she went hard on him & the whumping, like almost as much as with Holland -- which was a lot. it was kinda to the point where it was like, "okay, you're just doing this to cause him more pain," & I can relate to that honestly. I've done that in whump fic. But like -- I was so shook when I found out what Dr. Haverty did to him for a year like damn I have written & read whump & never thought of that! It was so gruesome but it was still plausible & fit well with the narrative -- also it was really satisfying to see Eli being tortured & I felt bad at first because I didn't feel bad for him, but then Schwab got into the backstory a little more & I was like, okay, maybe I feel a little bad. a tiny, miniscule amount. I think she was a little tryna get us to feel bad for him but also not too much, so it wasn't annoying which was great, it was done really well cuz Eli still kept his douchey attitude & mindset (& is really fucking stupid while being smart at the same time). But yea, Eli was being hurt a lot (honestly VE Schwab! so gruesome -- I love it) but he was still dumb, like, "ah yes I have to hunt down all the EO's!" yet he would say shit like, "An EO isn't just the product of their catalyst. They are the circumstances, but also the psyche." (pg 183) & I stg I almost threw something. He makes me so mad because he says shit like this but doesn't realize it! Boi -- listen to yourself! He says that EO's are the product of the person they were before, yet believes they're all evil because they've come back from the dead without souls. He doesn't see that Victor was evil before he died, he was a sociopath, (still is) but its his original psyche (although he was less homicidal before) & Victor is one of the main reasons Eli believes EO's are evil

addendum: These were 2018 thoughts and I've since discussed a theory in which Eli knows that Victor was evil and that becoming an EO isn't the cause for someone to become evil, but Eli made up this whole justification that turning into an EO makes someone "unholy" and that that is what turned Victor into a "monster" because he literally just did not want to see Victor as a bad person. which is really sad but makes sense with his character because he's obsessed with seeing himself as a good person and justifying his actions and rationalizing everything to fit with his own distorted narrative of events

But that's because Victor killed Angie & tried to kill him [Eli]. Victor was fucking psycho beforehand (although I do remember Victor dragging the knife along the wall as he was going up to Eli & I'm like wow. you are actually the living embodiment of a horror movie. that, along with his black clothes & white hair & him just casually talking on the phone while someone is tryna kill him -- boi. he's so extra) so Eli should realize that! The EO thing brought out what was latent in him (same with Eli, that's why he says he feels different) but it didn't create the evil in him. it was already there. I think it's both a form of denial & cognitive dissonance because even if in Vengeance, he's acknowledged he's a monster (whereas in Vicious he thought he was the only good EO. like all other EO's were bad except him & it was his duty to get rid of them, but it was really just a projection of his own self-loathing because he felt that he was wrong & soulless & an abomination. In Vengeful, he's acknowledged that all EO's, including himself, are evil & that he's not an exception anymore, yet still a denial. He's saying he's a monster because he's an EO, not that he's a monster for its own sake. It's still disconnect -- "I am not wrong, it was what happened to me that made me this way." because he doesn't want to believe that he was inherently evil or soulless to begin with (which connects to his backstory, now that I know most of it, where his father said he had the devil in him & that there was darkness in his eyes, so he would beat Eli for being wicked. & Eli didn't know what he had done wrong, but started to believe his father's words. There was a really heartbreaking quote that summed it up nicely. "Eli didn't know how he was broken, but he wanted to be healed. He wanted to be saved." (pg. 152) Anyway, back to what I was saying about denial and disconnect. He blames his & Victor's & Serena's evil nature on not their nature but on them having lost their souls when they became EO's because he doesn't want to think of himself as inherently evil, or wrong, like he was made to feel by people in his life (& not just his father). That's where the cognitive dissonance comes in too. He has to believe that Victor & Serena were evil once they became EO's, even though he never knew Serena before, & Victor is very clearly strange, if not outright sociopathic, because if he acknowledges that Victor was not right in the head beforehand, it would lead to a dissonance, because if Victor was evil before, that couldn't mean Eli only became evil after, so he resolves that become become evil after they become an EO

addendum: to add to this, it could also be about how he loved Victor and did not want to believe he was evil, for its own sake (rather than his own self justifications of his own moral standing)

Eli's psyche is literally my favorite thing. There's so much there (I almost said "to dissect" but then I was like, "oof bad choice of words," lol) but he's such a complex character -- my gosh. There's so much to write about. I'm loving it. But yea, I don't think I mentioned what happened to Eli at the hands of Dr. Haverty. And lemme tell ya -- hoo boy. I thought Eli would be getting beat up in prison -- I never expected this.

There's more but I got tired and there's so many more pages aaaaaa

#just so you know #i wrote this all in a notebook so i had to type all of this up #and that's why i got tired and didn't finish lmao #willow answers #answered asks #not whump #vicious posting #vicious ve schwab #villains series #eli cardale #eli ever

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calamit-ink · 2 years

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I live blogged my thoughts while watching the ROTTMNT movie in the notes app

Here it is:

* Oooh it’s finally out!!

* What’s this? A video game perspective?

* Casey’s trans???

* Oh nvm it’s in the future

* Casey’s son?

* LEO SWORE?!?!?!

* Well there’s a bit detailed blood, is this gonna be gritty?

* Ok what the fuck is happening

* MIKEY WHAT

* OH NO

* Oh no I hate time travel plots uuuggghhhhh

* There’s gone be hella second hand embarrassment, huh?

* Art style is looking HELLA good tho

* How are future!Casey and Cassandra!Casey gonna interact?

* Calling it now, Raph’s gonna die and that’s why future!Leo tells future!Casey “not everything is about you”

* Yay it’s the worm and the Hippo!!

* Sick ass chase scene

* Always here for big brother Raph content

* Leo you little shit

* Ayy April!!

* WTF THE DESK POSE HAHAHA

* I love women using their wits for mischief

* Bro DO NOT walk up behind someone in the dark tf

* Oh no poor kids gonna be throwing straight gasoline onto the fire that is Leo’s ego

* At least now Leo’s gonna have to be responsible over someone right?

* Ok introduction was not nearly as second-hand embarrassing as I thought it would be, good

* Why do the Foot Clan insist on causing problems?

* SICK ASS FIGHT SCENE!!

* THE KRANG CAN TAKE MAGIC?!??? OH NO

* OH FUCK PLZ DONT KILL RAPH

* OH FUVK SPLINTER?????

* Why not escape pod just Splinter?

* RAPH N O

* OH FUCK

* OMG HES ALIVE YEAHHHH

* oh I loooovvvve the art style <3<3<3

* OH HELL MIND READING

* Damn this is dark

* God, I love Donnie

* Indeed it is Mikey, the future is harsh

* “Were”? I mean I was kinda thinking something happens to Donnie since he didn’t show up in the beginning but “WERE”??????

* HE SAID “ARE” FOR MIKEY DONNIE FUCKING DIES

* Wait I thought the turtle tank thing was 3D animated, is it stop motion?? That’s so cool

* APRIL SPLINTER RUN

* DONNIE???

* Oh it’s only gonna get worse isn’t it???????

* Chekhov’s mysterious government acid

* Uh oh, the turtles are split up even more

* Fuck I knew they die

* Casey’s being a bit harsh tho, this is Leo before YEARS of growth of course he’s gonna be inexperienced in leading

* Oh I love the art style 🥰

* Ayy teamwork

* God, Mikey’s naivety HURTS to watch LIKE BUDDY U’RE GONNA GET HURT

* RAPH

* OH NO MIND CONTROL

* OH FUCK ITS WORSE

* I’m gonna need so much fluffy content after this goddamn ;-;

* Man “portal opening over New York City” sure is a popular trope

* Plz tell me Raph finds a way to resist the Krang’s influence oh please oh pleas e

* Well that is some mass destruction

* CINEMATIC PEP TALK AYYYYY

* I will never get over ROTTMNT’s visuals they’re SO GOOD

* as cool as this Casey is, WHERE is the other one??

* I’m kinda surprised how well they’re balancing the dark/serious stuff with the comedy

* Yo is that the construction site from the first episode? Nice callback

* Yay for Donnie trying to conquer his fear, but ain’t that gonna Krang-ify him too? Like the direct contact gonna infect him

* Donnie you better not fucking die with your shell exposed

* He is a spaceship

* Ah yes Leo, the moment of realization

* Damn this movie goes HARD

* OH LEO HE TRUSTS RAPH SO MUCH AHHHHHHH

* RAPH BREAK OUT OF IT

* HE’S BACK!!!

* NO LEO

* AYYYY LEO BEING A LEADER LET’S GO!!!!!!

* THEY SAID IT!!!!!! THEY SAID THE THING!!!!!!!!

* Oh everything’s ok now, they’re gonna win

* It’s all uphill from here <3

* Oh shit

* Death

* Or not

* Oh is Mikey gonna get his magic hands??

* OH THEY’RE COMBINING THEIR POWERS!!

* It didn’t work?

* GET EM

* Oh not the left behind brother again

* Damn there’s still 20 minutes left?

* Oh boy

* Oh he gonna sacrifice himself

* THE SWORDS ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE HE BETTER TELEPORT BACK I STG

* FUCKING TAKE THE KEY CASEY

* not the fucking “catchphrase” that’s so Leo 😭

* OH NOT THE PICTURE AHHHH

* OH NO LEO

* HES CRYING

* KID IS WHAT, 15??? POOR BOY 😭😭😭

* No, no, no bring him back Casey!!! Use the swords!!!

* MIKEYYYY

* GET YOUR BROTHER BACK

* GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM

* MIKEY LET’S GOOOOO!!!!!

* Oh they’re ok now 😭😭

* Except April & Splinter still have that deranged Krang

* Oh got encased in chemicals, good

* This is really cute, but I’m still confused about the other Casey

* THERE SHE IS

* TEXT

* Glad she was out kicking ass too 🥰

* Wish we could’ve saw it tho

* YAYYYY BACK TO SILLY STUFF!!

* The end <3

* Good movie 👍

#rottmnt #rottmnt movie #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #live blogging #rottmnt spoilers #rottmnt movie spoilers

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thepaintedlady00 · 2 years

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So I've been INSANELY busy lately and just caught up on everything from Chapter 4 on, and I stg I am FERAL right now. So, as a fellow writer, I decided to compile a review for each chapter.

Chapter 4 - Alex Burgess deserves to suffer everything Penny had been made to live through and more. I would very much like to tuck Penny in a blanket and give her cocoa and cuddles.

Chapter 5 - The way he MOURNS her! The way his every other thought is her! The way he adores her so clearly despite not having ever even spoken to her! Also, I love the idea of Johanna as a friend.

Chapter 6 - All of the Endless (Including the Prodigal) AND Mother Night checking in on Penny throughout the years is so fucking sweet to me? Like "Dream cannot guide you now, and we cannot free him, but we love him, as do you. And for that we love you the same." It's just amazing! They aren't a standard family but they still love one another so much.

Chapter 7 - That line about knowing why Lucifer was gods favorite is so smooth, lmao. Dream's introspection on why Nada wouldn't suit as his wife was also cute as hell (pardon the pun.) The gentle way he cares for her is everything, too. The commentary about his battle leathers is 100% accurate, too. He had NO right to look that good.

Chapter 8 - Penny, who has lived easily a hundred years, meeting John, who believes it's his right to force others to live in only the harsh light of truth, was fascinating. I'm also getting such strong Alice In Wonderland vibes from Destiny's maze conversation. And Dream's own protectiveness of Penny is heartwarming. And the way she can shape and revitalize the dreaming is so cool!

Overall - I also love the continuing motif of butterflies with Penny, especially since the name Penelope means 'weaver', as in "One who weaves a new path". This is just such a brilliant story. His willingness to help her and protect her is just everything to me. I cannot WAIT to see more, thank you so much for sharing this amazing story with us.

Oh my god bestie! You just made my night! 😍

Chapter 4 was so hard for me to get through and I cut out A LOT of stuff because it was just so painful and as Penelope's mom basically I literally had this moment where i just scrapped a huge chunk because it felt so wrong to like expose these very painful and very raw moments she had. And I also really truly didn't want anyone to be scarred or anything reading it. And I'm glad I did, I think the little that I gave says enough about what went down. Alex got off easy and its honestly because Dream was just done, he'd thought he lost the last little shred of hope he had and he just wanted to go home and fulfill his final promise to Penelope.

Chapter 5 is still my favorite because I was literally heartbroken writing it 😅 It was so painful to write Morpheus mourning because he feels things so deeply but also so privately. I loved that it felt so natural and so heartbreaking even though they'd never spoken (that I think also added a lot more pain 😂). My favorite part of this was when he had to kill Gregory and he was just thinking about how much she would have loved all his creations and how unfair it was. 😭 Absolutely broke me! But in a piece of Dreams chapter 8 POV that I cut out (I'm going to publish it hopefully tomorrow before chapter 9s release) he has this parallel of that moment that I just adore.

Chapter 6 I am so glad you caught Night! I plan on expanding on that a bit later, but I'm happy someone caught it! The other Endless I loved writing for! Death is 100℅ like this is my little brothers future wife I'm not letting her go without making sure she's okay first. Destruction is gonna be a big influence on a lot of Penelope's future (chapter 9 will be getting into this) the friendship she has with him is literally so soft and I adore it and so when he leaves her its heartbreaking. Despair I truly didn't know how to do and I felt meh about it but rereading it I think it actually does a great job showcasing where she's at this point in her journey. Desire is a riot! They are so fun to write and I just love all of it! I think for the twins their care is hidden under this "we just wanted to see if it was true" guise but Desire 100℅ was watching to make sure Pen was safe while she was trying to fill that void and no one can convince me otherwise.

Chapter 7 I love Lucifer's character and I truly wanted to capture that awe Penelope has when meeting them because demons she's seen and they're all grotesque but Lucifer the ruler of hell and demons is just beautiful. 😩 Love it. You can thank @true-queen-of-mischief (and a ton of other stuff because they're amazing!) for the final version of the Nada paragraph because they have a ton of knowledge on the comic books so they helped me workshop that whole things as well as the end with Penelope's mom and her forgiveness of her. Dreams gentle nature is so fun to write, its just so soft and it kills me 🥺 The battle leathers! 🥵 They knew what they were doing with that!

Chapter 8 John needs to be put down a peg and I was more than happy sending in Penny because she knows a power hungry asshole when she sees one. 🤷‍♀️ And yes! I was absolutely going for the Alice in Wonderland vibes with that scene! Destiny is going to be featured again because I literally find him so fascinating among other reasons.

Oh my god! You're picking up on some of my foreshadowing and I love it!!!! 🤭😍😩 Butterflies, her name, all of it means something which chapter 9 and 10 will be getting into and I'm SO excited for it! It was one of my major ideas for the story and Penny and so I'm so excited to see it come to life and for you guys to get to react to it! I think it's amazing, so I hope you all do too once you find out! But seriously thank you so much! I adore getting to read what you and all the other readers are thinking and loving about the story! I'm so happy knowing you guys are loving it! 😭🥰😍

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ffsg0jo · 2 years

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What trope suits your moots?

like the previous one im only going to mention the moots i interact with the most because ill know what trope suits them more :)) if anyone wants me to add them, send me an ask <33

also i feel like i made most of these tropes up 😭

@arquitecturadelanada - i don't know if this is a trope but that type of falling in love that's steady but completely consumes you at the same time. idk but you remind me of the tangled scene where all the lanterns are just floating up, into the sky and it looks so so pretty and it makes your breath stop and the atmospheres just so serene and calm. falling in love with you is like watching the lantern show

@thegojosimpehe - best friends to lovers definitely. i think falling in love with you has the excitement of going on a roller coaster or an arcade, but actually falling in love with you is smooth and a gradual process

@celcero - enemies to lovers/hatefucking, ina it just fits you so well, it's perfect for you. either that or best friends to lovers. but going back to enemies to lovers, it's not the type where go from trying to kill eachother to completely and utterly in love. it's the one where you go from trying to kill eachother, to trying to kill eachother, with love ❤

@httptouya - the trope where your love interest acts like they dont have a crush on about you but then you get one little scratch on your finger and they're all 'i stg i will kill whoever did this to you'

@dani-shitting-around - tsukishima to lovers. that doesn't make sense, but it does. he tries to push his feelings for you away but he has moments of weakness where he's like danii what are you doing to me and caves

@sunat2508 - gym buddies to lovers. yes i am specifically referring to natkasa and your beautiful relationship. she'd have the massivest crush on you and even try and memorise your schedule so she's 'coincidentally' at the gym whenever you are

@memosa - tumblr mutuals to lovers /j tutor to lover. your s/o probably actually needs tutoring at first and they come to you for help, but then they fall in love with you. by their 4th session with you they've completely understood the topic, but they still act dumb to spend more time with you

@avid-idiot - the trope where you and your partner act like a couple that's been married for 13 years and like you're still on your honeymoon and the same time. it's cute and everyone around you just feels so single seeing your relationship. or best friends sibling/brother. that makes sense too

@mel-core - two people that don't want to admit their feelings to each other but their feelings just keep getting stronger until one of them bursts

@animated-moon - strangers to lovers because i feel like it's easy to fall in love and be in love with you. you're an amazing person and even strangers can recognise that

@cupidines- childhood friends to high school sweethearts to lovers because its a sweet trope and cupid is the sweetest

@iwaso - hates everyone except their lover, i think this is perfect for you, honestly. whether it's you hating everyone or your partner hating everyone. actually, maybe you both hate everyone, we don't discriminate

@rintarobun - best friend to lovers. i think it would be hard not to fall in love with you, especially someone has a deep connection with you, like a close friend

#🌻.feelingsunny #🌻.nonny<33

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shipskicksandgiggles · 2 years

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Idk if you're wanting a prompt but if you are! "It was never real to begin with" "it was to me" 💖💖💖

okay okay okay okay I stg I'm writing two other papers right now and I have so many words in my head so this finally got done

prompt: ''it was never real to begin with.'' ''it was to me.'' (from this list)

Read Just a Push here on ao3

~~~

“Colonel Rhodes, it’s good to have you here!”

“General, how are you?”

The man clapped him on the shoulder. “Well I’m just fine, son. This is the first we’ve seen of you since that big promotion of yours.”

“I got a bit held up with paperwork, sir, I’m sure I’ll be in regular attendance at these events from now on.”

‘These events’ being a gala where the military sent their higher ranking officers to mingle with bureaucrats and civilians to remind them of where their interests lie.

He let out a hearty laugh. “Atta boy! Go on and get yourself a drink. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

“Yes sir.”

There was a slight commotion to his left, and James did his best to ignore it. He caught a snippet or two of the conversation, but nothing he could make sense of.

“No oh… but… row…”

James started making his way to the bar, but before he could take more than a few steps, someone stumbled into him.

“Woah, are you okay?”

“Rhodey! See, I told you it was Rhodey.”

He looked down, and for a moment, he saw the messy hair and glasses of his college roommate. Then he blinked and he was gone, replaced by the artfully tousled hair and dark eyes of the same man, 10 years older.

“Anthony, stop accosting this man right this instance,” the man following him commanded. Then he turned to James. “I’m sorry, I believe he’s had a bit too much to drink. I can take him off your hands Mister…”

“Colonel, sir. Colonel James Rhodes. Only this one can call me Rhodey.”

“Oh so he was right. Still, it’s hardly professional-”

“It’s hardly professional for me to not at least chat with an old friend. I’ve dealt with his drunken antics before, I’ll get him back to you safe and sound. We’re just gonna take a walk, right Tony?”

“A walk? Sure. It’s been too long, we need to catch up.”

“Just what I was thinking. If that’s alright with you, of course.” He put on his most practiced smile, the one he gritted at his superiors who barked orders at him like he was a dog, but still showed enough respect that he wouldn’t get in trouble.

It didn’t go unnoticed based on how he narrowed his eyes. “Of course!” he said cheerfully. “I’ll be around when he wants to find his way back.”

“I’ll make sure he gets back safe,” Rhodey said, already guiding Tony away from the man.

Was he his escort? Tony’s taste in men had really changed since college, but maybe…

“Are you okay?” he asked when they were far enough out of ear shot. He dropped Tony’s arm in an attempt to give him space, but he didn’t move away.

“I think I’m a little drunk, but you've seen me like this before and we both know I’ve been worse.”

“No, I mean, well,” he glanced in the direction the older man had gone. “Do you need help?” he asked meaningfully.

“With who, Obie? Honestly, I think he's just being overprotective. You spend one too many days in bed with a woman who wants to kill you and suddenly I’m not allowed to hang out with my friends. Rude if you ask me.”

“Obie?” Then it dawned on him. “That’s Obadiah Stane?” he hissed.

“I forget you never met him back in college, but yeah that’s him. I still don’t get why I would need help.”

“Regrettably, I have firsthand experience with your taste in men,” Rhodey told him.

“Huh? You thought I was- ew, that’s disgusting!”

Rhodey threw his hands up in surrender. “Like you said, I never met the guy.”

Tony let out a giggle, so he was drunk enough to let his true self show in public. “God, it’s good to see you again. It’s been too long.”

It almost surprised Rhodey how easily they fell back into step. “Yeah. Makes you miss the good old days.”

“Before all the adulthood and responsibilities. Speaking of which, a little birdie told me about your promotion. I believe a congratulations is in order, Lieutenant Colonel.”

“It still doesn’t feel real,” Rhodey confessed quietly.

“I’m proud of you,” Tony said, seemingly sober for a moment. “You got so far.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” he brushed it off easily. “You might even come to resent my promotion. There’s a decent chance you’ll be seeing more of me.”

“Good. My job could stand to be a little more fun.”

Rhodey snorted, and silence lapsed between them.

“We should get coffee. Catch up when we’re not in the suits,” Tony said suddenly. “How long are you in town?”

“A few more days. I could go for coffee.”

“Great. I um, I better get back to Obie, but I’ll be in touch alright?”

“Yeah, sure. See you around.”

He passed Tony off to his godfather and expected that to be the end of it. Tony didn’t have his number, and every time someone says they should catch up over coffee, it’s more to get out of the conversation than to actually make plans to get coffee.

Except he woke up the next morning, and while he was in the bathroom getting ready, he missed a phone call.

Tony left a voicemail.

“Hey Rhodeybear, don’t ask how I got your number, but if you’re still up for it, meet me at the café on Jefferson at 11am. I hope you come.”

~~~

One morning of catching up over coffee turned into two, and then five, and then it became routine every time Rhodey was in town.

Then once when he was on extended leave, Tony propositioned him over breakfast.

“I need a date to a charity ball.”

“Did you run out of swimsuit models?”

“No, but I need someone better for my image.”

“So lingerie models are out of the question then,” Rhodey notes. “What are you thinking?”

“Why don’t you come with me?”

Rhodey nearly spat out his coffee. This wasn’t college, they weren’t in their dorm room. They were in public, and talking like that could get Rhodey dishonorably discharged if the wrong person heard.

“It would be fun! And Obie likes you so he wouldn’t be opposed to me bringing you-”

“Tony-” Rhodey rasped, coming out of a small coughing fit. “Tony, that’s a bad idea.”

“What? Why?”

“You have… a reputation,” he said delicately.

The dates Tony would bring to these events always ended up on the front covers of all the tabloids. Not that Rhodey read them. He just saw the covers while standing in line at the grocery store, and that’s one way to keep up with your college roommate.

Still, when the paparazzi swarmed in, it could ruin his career and everything he’d built for himself in a moment.

“Yeah, rich genius who can show up to parties with anyone who wants on his arm.”

“People you tend to take to bed afterwards,” Rhodey said pointedly. “I can’t have those rumors anywhere near me.”

Realization finally dawned on Tony’s face. “Right. Right. Okay, so we get ahead of it. Spin it as two bachelors shooting the shit for the night, no women on our arms, the same way it was in college.”

The same way it was in college. Rhodey being helpless to Tony’s every will and whim to the point it almost killed him. Exactly the same as it was in college.

“I don’t want to lose my job over this, Tony.”

“You won’t,” he assured him. “You’re too valuable to them anyways. Trust me, we can do this.”

“Alright, fine, but don’t expect this to be a regular thing.”

“Never,” Tony promised.

He would hold him to that.

~~~

Rhodey didn’t hold him to it. He actually agreed to be Tony’s date to a few more events over the years, all under the condition that it was completely platonic and no one tried to insinuate that they were dating.

Tony still went out with models and actresses and women he could sweep off to bed, but that wasn’t his business. Not as long as he could stand at Tony’s side without any consequences.

Then Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was repealed, and nothing changed. If Tony didn’t want to deal with the press creating rumors anymore, he didn’t have to, but they had a routine, and that was that.

He didn’t know how to feel about that.

Until one day Tony swooped into the room frantically, startling Rhodey out of a long deserved personal lab day.

“I need you to be my date for a fundraising ball.”

“Excuse me?”

“I need you. To be. My date.”

“Right.” He waited for Tony to explain.

Tony did not explain.

“Why?” he prompted.

“It’s a ball. A real one with dancing.”

“I see. Why me though?”

“You can dance.”

“So can all the girls that were your back up dancers when you did the Iron Man expo. You’re not answering my question.”

“All of Pepper’s contacts are falling through. They don’t know how to ballroom dance. We can’t find anyone who can and is available.”

“And I’m guessing you’ve already checked my schedule to see if I am?”

“Yes, precisely. So you’ll do it?”

Rhodey regretted getting drunk that one night in college and confessing to Tony that he had ballroom dance training.

“I guess if it’s that dire of a situation.”

“It is. It is that dire.”

“Great. How long do I have to get on top of this so there are no major consequences in my life, personal or otherwise?”

“Two days?”

“I hate you so much. Fine, but you owe me.”

“I know. Anything you want.”

“Good. Now get out before I throw something at you.”

“Can we at least go over steps later? Just so I don’t look like a clumsy mess?”

“Get out, Tony!”

“Penthouse, 7pm!”

Rhodey flung a pen in his general direction, and Tony squawked as he ran out the door.

~~~

He got the phone call hours after the ball was over.

“Rhodes.”

“Was this- were you two really a thing this whole time? Did you just not tell us because of the law?”

Even though he knew this call was coming, he still didn’t know what he should say. He stared at Tony, disheveled suit and all, sitting across from him, head cocked to one side, as if to say What’s wrong? Are you okay? And suddenly, he knew.

“Honestly Major, no we weren’t. It’s fairly recent, but I had him in my arms and I realized after all these years, I couldn’t let him go.”

Tony smiled softly, and it broke his heart. It was the truth, and Tony would never know. He would never know that when they danced, Rhodey’s heart was in his stomach, wishing that it was real.

“Okay then. As long as it doesn’t interfere with your job, that’s your business.”

“Thank you Major.”

“And Rhodes, I know it’s not my place to say so, but you looked happy out there. I hope he treats you well.”

“I hope so too, sir.”

“Have a good night, Colonel.”

“You too, sir.”

The line clicked, and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Everything alright?” Tony asked, ever so sincerely.

“Perfect. Everything’s perfect.”

Rhodey was going to ruin his own life, and he was going to do so happily, knowing that once, just once, he had been able to sweep the only man he had ever loved off his feet.

Just once, he’d been able to kiss him, spur of the moment when their faces got too close. Dips did seem to run that risk, but from the look on Tony’s face afterwards, it hadn’t been amiss.

But just this once, he could pretend to be happy.

~~~

One of these times, Rhodey was going to learn that he couldn’t promise just one time to Tony.

Charity galas, speaker events, product launches, business meetings disguised as double dates, anywhere where Tony should have a romantic partner, Rhodey appeared beside him.

Maybe it was because their friendship was so set in stone that a staged breakup wouldn’t make sense. Because a one night stand with the guy you’d known since college would stand out.

He hated how much sense it made, but he knew it had to come to an end soon. This couldn’t last forever. That was something he had known since the very beginning. At no point could he get his hopes up because eventually all he would be was another footnote in the tabloids, linking him to Tony Stark.

A week before he was due back on base, there was another party Tony wanted him at. He was getting ready in Tony’s bathroom.

They were supposed to arrive together, but Rhodey was all too aware that this would likely be the last time they ever did anything together. The last time he got to hold Tony in his arms. The last time he got to herd him back towards the car so they could go home together. The last time he would spend the night in Tony’s guest room only to slip back to his own apartment early the next morning with an empty pit in his stomach.

Tony popped his head behind the door. Rhodey realized he must have been taking too long, but there was a heaviness in his bones that he couldn’t shake.

“Cuff links giving you trouble?”

“A bit, yeah.”

“My mom always said that helping each other get ready like this gave you a stable foundation for marriage,” Tony said offhandedly, fastening them securely.

“Yeah? Is there anything you need help with?”

“My tie actually. Can’t seem to get it even.”

“Give it here.” He deftly formed the knot just above Tony’s heart and tightened it, stepping back to examine his handiwork.

If they were together, he would kiss him.

He would pull him in by the tie he just tied and let him know he loved him even though Tony’s always been awful at tying them himself.

But they weren’t together. Not really.

“Is the car here?” he asked instead.

“Happy’s waiting for us. Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” He patted down his pockets to make sure his phone was there before grabbing his jacket on the way to the elevator. “The window of time where we will be fashionably late is closing, Tones.”

“Then I guess we’d better get going.”

Tony pulled Rhodey into the elevator and back out the other side when they hit the garage level. He laughed when Rhodey opened the car door for him.

“Such a gentleman.”

“Everything you deserve,” Rhodey joked, ignoring how much his chest hurt.

“I deserve a man who gets in the car with me, for Christ’s sake.”

He ducked his head so as not to hit it on the car, and closed the door behind him. There wasn’t even time to buckle his seat belt before Happy pulled out of the garage.

It was a quiet drive, quieter than normal.

“Are you alright?” he asked Tony.

“Always,” Tony answered automatically.

“You’d tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?”

“Sure. I’m just a little tired, I think, that’s all.”

“Well, play our cards right and we’ll see about getting out of here early.”

“Yeah? I think that requires there to be a bit of tension when we arrive, don’t you?”

“Or we could just fake an emergency,” Rhodey suggested futility.

“Not as fun,” Tony returned, already reaching for Rhodey’s tie.

He was going to hell. “Fair enough.”

Rhodey felt guilty threading his fingers through Tony’s perfectly coiffed hair. He spent so long perfecting the look, and Rhodey messed it up in a second, just trying to pull him closer. To preserve the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Then their lips met, and the guilt was gone. In its place was pure elation. Warmth, happiness, and pleasure, all wrapped into one neat little package of this man.

Happy knocked on the partition, interrupting them as they approached the venue.

They came apart unsteadily, and Rhodey couldn’t help but assess what he’d done. Before he could stop himself, he ran a thumb over Tony’s swollen bottom lip, sucking in a gasp as he pressed another light kiss to the spot.

Tony fixed him with those dark eyes, and Rhodey considered asking Happy to turn the car around and taking them back where they came from.

But he couldn’t. Because they weren’t really dating. And they had an obligation.

Right.

“We might be too obvious like this,” he said instead, gesturing to Tony’s rumpled suit.

“Possibly, but it sends a message.”

“Which is?”

He straightened Rhodey’s tie carefully. “That I want you. And you want me. And no party will stop us from being apart for long periods of time.”

Oh he had no idea. “I’ll drink to that.” The car came to a stop, and Happy knocked again. “Shall we?”

“Stay close, Hap. We may need a quick getaway.” He ran a hand through his already messy hair so it at least looked intentional before he let Rhodey pull him from the car and into the flashing of cameras.

~~~

All told, they stayed for less than an hour and a half.

Honestly, Rhodey would have stayed longer, but there was an incessant pull between him and Tony all night that he couldn’t figure out if he was imaging.

Then Tony gave him the signal to say he wanted to leave, and Rhodey happily grabbed his hand and excused them as quickly as he could.

“For the record, I’m not going to miss this when I leave.”

“Don’t lie, you’ll miss it a little bit.”

He would miss dressing up, getting to see Tony dressed up, the smiles from before and after the events where there were no cameras and they could just be themselves, having Tony on his arm.

He wouldn’t miss the way all of it seemed false, the camera bulb flashes, Tony’s fake smiles that were too sharp on his face, the lies, leaving Tony at the end of the night, always wishing for more.

“Yeah, maybe a little.”

The car ride was quiet after that. Neither of them were really up for talking just yet, but the silence was comfortable. Normal.

They got back to Tony’s apartment, and Rhodey threw himself down on the couch while Tony looked around the kitchen for food. He tossed a box of cold pizza down before flopping down across from Rhodey.

“You’re an angel,” Rhodey groaned.

“You know it, buttercup. This is our post event tradition, so I made sure I was prepared.”

“For the record, I’m going to feel incredibly betrayed if I find out you’re going this with the next person you start taking to events.”

Tony stilled in his seat. “What?”

“If you get your next date pizza I’ll consider it a personal attack,” Rhodey rephrased.

“Of course, but can we back up to ‘next date’ please?”

“Tony, I’m leaving to go back to base at the end of this week, you knew that.”

“Well yeah, of course I know that. What about it?”

“I’m not going to be able to tag along for these events anymore,” he said slowly.

“Obviously, but why would you think I’d start going out with someone else?”

Now it was Rhodey’s turn to pause. He started to speak a couple of times before he managed to find the right words. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ll understand when someone else starts accompanying you to these things,” he said.

“When?” Tony asked incredulously. “Rhodey, honey, I’m not just going to leave you high and dry. Pepper can come with me if I can’t go alone. It’ll be good for her, and she’s fantastic at keeping me out of trouble.”

She was, honestly Rhodey was in awe of her. “I mean I understand not having someone right away, but eventually, when you feel comfortable dating again, I won’t be mad.”

A look of hurt crossed Tony’s face. “Are you breaking up with me?”

Rhodey laughed, but it came out closer to a. “I don’t think break up is the right term for it, but if that makes it easier, then sure.”

“You’re really doing this right now. Do you want a drink? I need a drink.” He got up and walked back to the kitchen, and Rhodey followed.

“Tony, wait, come on.”

“No, if you want to break up with me, go ahead, don’t mind me.”

“Come on, we both knew this was only a temporary arrangement. I was convenient, and everyone believed we were together, so it just made sense not to say otherwise and go our separate ways when I left. No hard feelings involved.”

He was looking at Rhodey like he’d completely lost his mind. “Did it ever occur to you that it was all intentional, and I never wanted this to end?”

“What’s the point in that?”

“My whole life has been night after night of people who don’t care about me, and I never really cared about them. Did you ever consider that I wanted something real?”

“It was never real to begin with!”

“It was to me!” Tony shouted.

The words seemed to echo off the walls.

Rhodey was so shocked he had to sit down.

“Look, I know I’m probably not what you wanted, but even if it wasn’t real, I love spending time with you, and I wouldn’t give up these last few months for the world.”

“Not what I- Tony, hold on a minute.”

Tony had started to turn away from him, glass trembling in his hand, but he stopped. He didn’t turn back around, but he stopped.

“I always thought this was about convenience. You needed somebody, anybody, to go out with you, so if we could just pretend, that would make it easier. All your relationships up until-” his breath caught “-up until me were different. Faster. I was worried that no one would believe it because of how much different we are. Now I know I shouldn't have been. I’m sorry.”

“Convenience?” Tony asked quietly. “You thought I only wanted you because you were convenient? That I hadn’t thought about how to ask you out over and over and over again, how I would do it right? That ball threw a wrench in everything I had planned. I'm sorry, I never meant to make you feel like you were just a pawn. You deserve better than that.” He sighed, and fully turned away. “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t blame you if you left. Just try not to sound happy about it.”

He was quiet for a moment, watching Tony’s back. Neither of them moved. His guess was that Tony was expecting him to get up and leave right then.

Instead he pushed back his chair, the legs scraping against the tiled floor with a hard screech. Tony’s shoulders tensed, and Rhodey walked around the kitchen island. He wasn’t sure how to go about doing this, but he had a pretty decent idea.

Rhodey brushed his fingers against the back of his neck, and when Tony started to turn, he secured his grip there, and pulled him into a bruising kiss.

For the first time since this mess had started, he didn’t feel guilty. He wasn’t ashamed. He felt like something finally clicked into place.

“You’re telling me,” he said when they finally broke apart, “that we could have been doing this this whole time?”

“Didn’t think you wanted it,” Tony returned, already leaning back in. “Didn’t wanna push.”

“Push all you want, sweetheart,” Rhodey muttered against his lips.

And push he did.

He pushed and pushed and pushed until Rhodey was using his tie, the same one he wanted to use as leverage earlier, to drag him towards the bedroom door.

Until they were a mess of sweat and limbs.

Until he was able to pull Tony up against his chest, and breathe a sigh of relief.

“We should have done this months ago.”

“Like I said, I didn’t think you wanted anything.”

“I wanted everything, Tony. I just didn’t want to lose you.”

“You have got to stop reading the tabloids. I wouldn’t have a one night stand with someone I care about.”

“I'm going to hold you to that,” Rhodey yawned. “Now be quiet, we can talk about this in the morning.”

“Okay.” Tony snuggled in close to him, and Rhodey couldn’t wait to wake up in the morning to learn whether or not it was a dream.

And then he could press kisses to the smattering of freckles on his shoulders and share sleepy mornings and coffee and not have to sneak out early because he was finally his.

#ironhusbands #james rhodes x tony stark #ellis writes #sarah tag #fluff #fake dating au #fake dating #getting together #friends to lovers #tony stark #james rhodes

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lokilickedme · 3 years

Text

Somebody help me chill, this is insane.

(under the cut because long and also pretty traumatic, for me at least)

Crazy neighbor, remember her? Her son destroyed a piece of equipment we had attached to one of our trees at the fenceline last week, she denied it and called us insane liars - that’s the most recent craziness in the ongoing saga of the neighbor from hell. I was sitting here reading my dash tonight and happened to glance over at the monitor for the surveillance camera husband got me the other day to watch that exact spot (where the equipment was smashed) and guess who I see bent over looking through the fence peering very closely at that exact spot? Neighbor’s equally insane son, who we know did the actual dirty work. And I, stupid like I am, took a screenshot of him and then immediately jumped up and ran outside in the dark in my pajamas (nearly 9pm, pitch black, their porch light is off because obviously they’re doing something they don’t want to be seen doing) and I ask “Excuse me, what are you doing?”

This lunatic immediately starts SCREAMING at me - I mean top of his lungs SCREAMING abusive threats, calling me a stupid psycho whore bitch, yelling at me to get my ass back in my house and generally just acting completely off his rocker unhinged nuts - and then his mother comes out and comes over to the fence and gets in my face while I’m just standing there and tells me to mind my own business. I say I am minding my business, I saw him looking through the fence at my property right where we had vandalism happen last week so I came out to find out why he’s interested in my property. She laughed in my face and said “No he wasn’t, he was standing right here looking at his phone like this” and she does this little pantomine of someone looking at their phone, which is funny because she wasn’t out there when he was doing it and there are no windows on that side of her house at all. I ignored her and asked “What are you looking for?” He kept screaming incoherent animal noises and insults from behind her so I asked again, “What are you looking for?” And that crazy woman grinned at me and said “We’re just looking to see what kind of new devices you’ve installed!”

OMG. She didn’t even take a breath in between lying and then contradicting her own lie. And she’s grinning smugly at me the entire time, gesturing around pointing at our property cams and mosquito light (it flashes and apparently she thinks it’s watching her) and my bedroom window - which means she’s been snooping. There is a cam sitting in my windowsill, aimed at the spot where the device was smashed. Every bit of this equipment is on our property, some of it behind a privacy fence. I tell her it’s none of her business what kind of devices we’ve got on our property, but she just yammers over me, and of course numbskull is still ranting like a psycho behind her, screaming at me to mind my own business and get back in my house and leave them alone. At this point he’s pulled out his phone and shoved it over her shoulder toward my face and is recording me, which is just...fucking hilarious...because I’m literally doing nothing but standing there in shock and awe at how nuts these people are, and he’s still screaming abusive curses and names at me while he’s recording.

Anyway, for about 4.5 minutes we stood there with them shouting over me (I know the exact time because it was later discovered that our doorbell cam recorded audio of the entire event) and a little ways into it he screams “I WILL TEAR YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!!”

At this point psycho woman finally turns around and says “Addison Case!” and pushes him back. He lunges at me and she tells him to go call the police (??what?? I mean...I wish he had...my phone was in my hand frozen solid, locked up because of the glitchy surveillance app I had to install to see the camera, or else I would have called them myself - but my god they really thought I was the one the cops needed to come for??). Meanwhile I’m just standing there on my own property in the dark in my pajamas, all 5 feet and 120 lbs of me, while this rabid animal - he’s a 21 year old college boy - is lunging at me and screaming nonstop, calling me a fucking whore bitch loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear it while his phone’s camera light is in my face blinding me. Crazy lady smiles that smug shit eating grin of hers and tells me to get back in my house, leave her alone, and move the hell away so she can live in peace.

Wow. Just...holy shit.

This is the person who has allowed her dog to attack my very small 8 year old son on our property and send him to the hospital with injuries last year, then attempt to attack him again 2 weeks ago (he is now 9 at the time of the second attack) - again on our own property (in our back yard this time, in our front yard the first time), has allowed her dogs (multiple) to bark all night long and keep us awake (she leaves them outside and then goes away for the weekend and they bark the entire time she’s gone), then she had her crazy violent son destroy the BarkBox we put in our tree on our side of the fence last week (we put it up as a humane way to get the barking to stop without having to listen to her call us insane liars every time we complain about it). Yet...she kept repeating over and over and over for us to leave her alone and stop harassing her.

All I could even do was stand there shaking my head. It was surreal. And frustrating, because they wouldn’t even let me get a word out without screaming over me, and she was doing that infuriating Karen thing where they shove their hand at your face and grin smugly while they’re telling you what you better do or they’ll call someone to make you.

I actually started laughing, it was so ludicrous. She’s committed all those vile offenses against us and we’re the ones that need to leave her alone. We’ve had to file four police reports against her and we’re the ones that are making her life miserable. I just can’t stop thinking about that Liar Liar movie where the repeat offender keeps calling his lawyer to complain that the cops won’t stop arresting him and the lawyer finally yells THEN STOP BREAKING THE LAW ASSHOLE!!

It’s just like that. My god.

SO -

She tells him to call the police again, and this limp dick shoves that phone light right up to my face and says “You think she’s worth calling the cops over? Look at her, she don’t look worth it to me.” And bitch starts laughing. My god, these people are subhuman, I swear. I’ve never seen anyone act like this in my life, over a person doing literally nothing to them.

So she finally orders her rabid son (who is just about foaming at the mouth, I swear he’s making these barking animal noises at me, it’s weird as hell) into the house and they walk away, with him still ranting like a madman until the door closes behind them. I immediately go inside my own house and call my husband, who was way out at the back of our property in our camper (he self quarantines each day after work out there to protect us because there have been a lot of covid cases at his workplace) and he didn’t know anything was happening. He immediately runs up to the house and I tell him I caught neighbor’s thug son messing around at our fence and that when I went out he threatened to kill me.

Tom grabs something - I don’t even know what it was, I think it was this piece of board that was sitting by the door, we’ve done a shelving project recently and a couple of leftover pieces have been there for a few days - and he stalks outside toward neighbor’s house. I hear him yell COME OUT HERE BOY!!! and I stg you guys, if I wasn’t on the phone calling 911 I might have thought about getting naked right there and then because damn.

So anyway, let’s not go there. This is serious by god lol (look for this to show up in a fic soon though because material like this doesn’t get handed to you for free every day).

I call 911 and say the neighbor’s son just threatened my life and for them to come quick because he’s still over there but I know he’s going to leave any second (this is his mom’s M.O, the two times the police have tried to go talk to her she gets in her car and leaves before they can get from my house to hers, and I know he’ll do the same because COWARDS). Tom comes back and says the little pussywillow wouldn’t come out of the house. He’s breathing fire, you guys. Pure fucking fire. I tell 911 to get somebody out quick before the kid leaves, and just about 2 minutes after I hang up he does just that - we see him blast past our house in his truck and he’s gone, and then the police arrive about 3 minutes after. I’m so mad I can’t see straight. If they’d been able to see him in the state he was in, they’d have arrested him on sight.

Two squad cars (big SUV’s) pull up and block her driveway with full lights flashing, which makes me laugh because suddenly we’ve got neighbors coming outside to see what’s going on. I meet the officers outside, and the crazy bitch next door does the same, yelling “Hello Officer!” and waving to them as they’re coming up to my porch.

They talk to me and Tom for a long time, I tell them everything that happened, they interview Big (he and Little were inside the open door and heard it all), we fill out our statements and talk with them more until one officer goes next door to talk to neighbor. We can hear her dripping her fake sugar and spice while they’re talking on her porch and my husband loses his shit - he heads toward her house and yells “We got the entire thing on recording, don’t even try to lie! Your kid, threatening to kill my wife?!?” (he’s referring to the camera in my bedroom window, which actually only recorded about 2 minutes because I don’t have it set up correctly yet, but they don’t know that). The officer yells at him to get back, which, yeah - he shouldn’t have done that, but for god’s sake the woman’s peckerhead son just literally threatened murder on a member of his family, this is the final fucking straw and he’s mad. And as he’s coming back across the yard the officer that stayed with me points at our new doorbell camera, just freshly installed as of about two weeks ago, and asks if it’s on. We haven’t even really figured out how to use it yet, but yes, as far as we know it’s on. The incident happened around the side of the house, but the doorbell records audio.

God bless technology.

I invite the officer inside the house and Tom gets his phone, pulls up the app for the doorbell, and starts skipping through the recording looking for the right timestamp. Up till this point all they have is me saying the guy screamed a lot of abusive profanities at me and threatened to tear my head off, and they’re taking me serious but probably not that serious, you know? Neighbors fight all the time, wars start over barking dogs, things get exaggerated, we’ve all seen the TV dramas.

Until Tom finds the segment on the footage and starts playing it to them on his phone. It’s kind of quiet because we were a good distance away, but you can hear the guy screaming just like I said he was. The officer asks if we have a speaker we can play it through so he can hear the words more clearly, because he needs proof of threat and that’s entirely in the words.

You guys, I’m tellin’ ya, sometimes you get a chance to fucking SHINE. My husband is a musician and this cop is asking him if he’s got a good speaker. So within minutes Tom’s got this huge venue-style amplifier designed for broadcasting music to the back wall of a freaking stadium pulled out into the livingroom and he’s hooking his phone up to it, and then he hits play and the other officer comes back from next door to join us and I can tell by the annoyed look on his face that neighbor bitch has likely charmed him and shed a plethora of persecuted tears and spewed her lies about how we’ve been harassing her forEVER and I think for a second that it’s a total loss now, he’s made his mind up in her favor.

And then...away we go. Tom cranks the volume on the speaker and they both lean in to listen closely.

Just about a minute into the recording they have their proof - thugnuts screaming I WILL TEAR YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!!!

Both officers nod, close their notebooks, and the second officer makes a phonecall while the first one turns to me and says “That’s terroristic threatening and it’s a class C felony. You’re going to need to go to the PA’s office with all the reports you’ve filed against them so far and all your evidence from tonight including that recording and hand it all to them. They’re likely going to issue a no-contact so that he can’t interact with you ever again.”

This is a victory, but it’s just the first step, and I feel sickeningly disheartened that it’s all in my lap to do everything. I want them to go demand his whereabouts from his mother and just go get his ass and haul him in. But no, I have a ton of legwork to do now because these horrible people won’t fucking stop.

After several more minutes of me asking questions about what exactly we need to do and where we need to go, etc etc (I’m competent but I’m also fucking rattled, someone threatened to kill me tonight and I’m blanking hard on the instructions he’s giving me) they finally wrap it up and leave. They’ve been in my house for a half hour waiting for me to finish filling out the report (I had to ask for more paper because honey I’m getting ALL the details in there) and I can just imagine how freaked out neighbor is when she sees what time they finally move their cars from in front of her driveway.

And now I’m coming down from the weird calm that I had through the entire event, and my heart feels like it’s going to EXPLODE. I had heart surgery two months ago, do I need this?? The pathetic part is that I know now just how stupid those people are, and I know this won’t be the end from their side by any means. We’ll start finding more stuff broken, or he’ll start climbing over the fence back at the back of the property to steal stuff from husband’s tool shed, or my tires will get slashed. These people are that dumb and hateful, they proved it tonight. He said if we had animals he would kill them, and then he made the same threat against me. How stupid does a person have to be to stand there with his phone out recording himself ranting and making threats against a woman standing in her own yard in her pajamas? Big tough man there. And his mama grinning at me the whole time, telling me I’m crazy and she’s concerned for her own safety because of me, while her son is standing right behind her threatening my life.

I’m just...my god, I don’t even know what to think. I thought people only acted like this in TV dramas, seriously. I’ve seen some shit in my life but this particular brand of stupid has up till now evaded me, but now it’s been in my face and I’m sort of in shock.

I don’t like guns. At ALL. Tom has always had at least one hidden carefully away, safely locked up away from the house, but now there are two inside my house in immediate grabbing range. He insisted that I let him show me how to use them. Rules were laid down for the boys - never touch, never, don’t even get close to them - and now there is a box of shotgun shells on my fireplace mantel and a singleshot rifle by the door. I hate this so damn much.

Don’t pick it up unless you’re ready to use it, he told me. Without even thinking, I said back, “If I touch it it’s getting used.”

I HATE THIS SO FUCKING MUCH

My god. I told the cops that the drug lord that lived over there four years ago was a better neighbor than this woman. They didn’t even laugh.

I guess they’re right, now that I think about it...it isn’t funny.

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rreyie · 3 years

Note

Porco for fluff alphabet?

porco galliard fluff alphabet

warnings- very very mildly suggestive themes

a/n- i think we all need a bf like porco, he’s so sweet i stg

A is for Activites- what do they like to do with their s/o? how do they spend their free time with them?

porco will do anything you want him to do. but a favorite of his is to just go out and explore downtown marley. there’s no specific goal you’re both trying to achieve, just going where the day takes you. downtown marley is crowded, so he’s got a hand holding yours the entire time to ensure you don’t get lost. you’ll both stop in a few different stores, his favorite is whatever the aot equivalent to bath and body works is and the lingerie shop. he wants to buy stuff for you to show he cares, and you’ll probably leave with a bag or two full of different clothes, and just random things you two thought were cool. the one place he insists on stopping at is the deli. he always gets something with at least two kinds of meat, and will pay for yours as well. the day ends with getting back home and doing some cuddling on the couch while he falls asleep on your lap.

B is for Beauty- what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?

porcos favorite feature about you is the way you smile and laugh, also your hands. each time you laugh at one of his jokes, he turns a deep red at the fact that someone finds him entertaining. his world seems to light up when you’re happy and smile at him, and he will cherish each time you do so. he also loves your hands, they’re just perfect for holding and he loves to intertwine your fingers.

C is for Comfort- how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

porco would do anything in his power to make sure you’re smiling by the end of the day. when his s/o feels down, he picks up on it very quickly and immediately asks what’s wrong, and who is causing you this pain. he would want you to take things slow for the day, he’ll be doing all the work for the next 24 hours. if you want affection, he will hold you while you cry into his shoulder. there’s a good chance he will cry with you, since he is upset seeing you like this. when you’re having a panic attack, he drops everything to get to you. if you’re immobilized by the emotion, he will carry you to a secluded room if there’s one nearby to give you some quiet with him. he will embrace you like he never has before, stroking your hair and whispering “you’ll be alright, i’m here honey. take your time.” he will be more understanding if you’re not okay by the end of the day since he knows these things are serious and he wants to make sure you’re completely okay before resuming back to normal.

D is for Dreams- how do they picture their future with their s/o?

porco dreams of having a family with you. once the war is over, he will make it a priority to get the two of you married and move out to a house in marley. porco absolutely adores children, so he would probably two with you. he wants two boys that can have the same kind of bond that he and marcel had. he would probably have enough money at this point that he could retire because of his service in the war, so he will become a stay home dad and watch his two boys. and he will probably name one of his sons marcel jr.

E is for Equal- are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

porco wants both of you to have the same level of commitment and dominance in the relationship.

F is for Fight- would they be easy to forgive their s/o? how are they fighting?

porco has a temper. he’s quick to snap. the fighting was likely initiated by him, possibly because he saw you hanging around reiner for too long today. it never gets violent, but porco can’t control what comes out of his mouth sometimes. he might throw an insult here and there. if you leave the room in tears, he will beat himself up over it and once he’s given you some space, he will apologize while trying to hold back tears because he feels like a shitty boyfriend for doing this to you. if you’re the one who apologizes first, he will pretend to act mad but really he’s not deep down inside because he loves you that much.

G is for Gratitude- how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

porco might not say it, but he appreciates what you’re doing for him. instead, he will do things in return to show he’s grateful, i’ll get into that later down the list. he is overall pretty aware of how dedicated his s/o is to him.

H is for Honesty- do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? or do they share everything?

the only reason that you know everything that’s up with porco is because he vents to you very often. he does keep his fair share of secrets though, but they are very minor- except one. most of his secrets are about the war, one of his best kept and worst secrets about him was that he killed a child while at war with the mid east allied forces. he still feels terrible about it to this day, and wouldn’t want you finding out about what he did during the war.

I is for Inspirational- did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

you likely changed porco more than he changed you. porco has a tough guy exterior and was pretty self absorbed before meeting you, but he learned that it was okay to cry and let his guard down around you. he also became a little more selfless, since he would do anything to protect you.

J is for Jealousy- do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?

porco is one to get jealous very easily. he’s possessive too. if he sees you hanging around reiner for a minute too long, he holds a grudge on you. he doesn’t speak to you for the rest of the day, and when you meet up with him to head back to your bedrooms, he just says “so reiner is gonna replace me, huh?” and walks off without another word. you’re gonna have to smother him in kisses to let him know you still love him more than anyone else, and stay the night while he clings to you in his sleep.

K is for Kissing- are they a good kisser? what was the first kiss like?

porco loves to kiss. he’s amazing at it too. his kisses are sloppy, lazy, slow, and teasing, with a lot of tongue and spit. his favorite place to kiss is on your bed just to get some privacy to do whatever you want. he especially loves when you’re both half naked and kissing so he can feel your skin on his. the first kiss was in town next to a fountain, where he confessed his feelings to you. you told him to close his eyes and you went in for it, and he kissed you back instantly. the blush on his cheeks was insane once you pulled away.

L is for Love Confession- how would they confess to their s/o?

after the festival in liberio, he stood with you and watched the fountain in town square. you made a comment on how pretty his eyes looked in the moonlight, and he made a bad attempt at complimenting your face, which made you giggle. hearing you laugh made the butterflies errupt in his stomach, and he knew he couldn’t hide it anymore. he said, “look y/n, i have no clue if you’re gonna hate me after what i’m about to say, if you think i’m weird just say something, but i like you. i have since i met you, and i think i want to be with you- oh god, i don’t even like you, i love you-“ you had to shut him up and kiss him on the lips before he started to ramble about how much he loves you.

M is for Marriage- do they want to get married? how do they propose? what would the marriage be like?

of course porco would want to get married, he’s a family man. he would probably propose somewhere very informally, like you two were talking about it one day and he’s like “well i mean there’s no better person than you that i would want to marry, you would make a wonderful wife-“ and that’s how it all started. you two got married in a church in liberio, with pieck as the maid of honor and zeke as the best man. he cried when he saw you in that white gown, he thought you looked like a princess. the marriage would be fun and laid back, you two would travel a lot before settling down about a year later.

N is for Nicknames- what do they call their s/o?

he calls you “babe” and “baby” a lot. occasionally he will call you “honey” or a variation of your name.

O is for On Cloud Nine- what are they like when they are in love? is it obvious for others? how do they express their feelings?

he’s a flustered, bashful baby. if you even look his way he will turn red. he tries to show off his skills, and wants to make himself stand out above the rest. he does his hair with extra care in the morning and starts to wash his face to make his skin look better. pieck picks up on it first, and she will occasionally say something about it, but all porco will do is grumble something and brush it off. zeke will notice and say something as well. porco expresses his feelings by occasionally complimenting you on your outfit, and sneaking a touch here and there like if he’s brushing a stray piece of hair out of your face. if you do the same to him, his brain will stop working for a moment.

P is for PDA- are they upfront about their relationship? do they brag with their s/o in front of others? or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

porco is a big fan of pda and bragging. especially if you’re within 10 feet of reiner. he makes it very known that he’s taken, the first time he walked into the meeting room in front of the other warriors he literally announced, “oh yeah, y/n is my girlfriend now. just thought you guys should know.” he loves to talk about you with the other guys, not in a bad way but like sharing stories about time you two spent together, how wonderful you are, and quite frankly the other guys are kind of tired of hearing a new story about you every hour. porco won’t hesitate to kiss or show affection in public, not full out making out but like a medium length kiss on the lips is acceptable. he’s always got his hands on you in public too, like an arm slung around your shoulder or just holding your hand. he wants everyone to know you’re his.

Q is for Quirk- some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

not quite sure if this is beneficial in the relationship but he gives the best piggyback rides. he has a really strong back that’s able to lift you up and he loves hearing your little giggles as he hoists you up into the air and onto his back. then he will run all around the place with you on his back in a fruitful attempt to make you laugh and smile.

R is for Romance- how romantic are they? what would they do to make their s/o happy? cliché or rather creative?

porco is in general a very romantic person. he will always treat you and try to make you happy just like to do to him. one of his favorite things to do for you is to take you out to some expensive restaurant in the rich part of marley and treat you to dinner. he wears his best suit and thinks you look absolutely stunning in that outfit of yours, which makes a little blush bloom on his face. he is vocal when it comes to telling you “i love you” and will say it to you at least 3 times a day. when you come back from an expedition in the mid east, he will be waiting for you in the train station with a big sign that says “welcome home y/n” and a bouquet of roses.

S is for Support- are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? do they believe in them?

porco thinks you should go for whatever makes you happy. he doesn’t exactly know how to help, but he will give you words of encouragement- like “you’re doing so well babe!” or “i love how you’re so determined, keep it up!” he truly does believe you can achieve whatever goal you’re working towards, he has a lot of faith in you.

T is for Thrill- do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? or do they prefer a certain routine?

porco loves change, and he would like a new way of doing things. it can be anything from going to a different place for dinner or waking up at a different time, he just wants things to always be different. he values thrill and spice to your relationship, it’s a key element to dating him.

U is for Understanding- how good do they know their partner? are they empathetic?

he will slowly learn more about you throughout your relationship, but empathy is something he needs to work on. every new bit of information he learns about his parter surprises him, and he makes a mental note of it to use for later. empathy is different though, because of his tough guy exterior he didn’t find empathy easy in the beginning. in fact, the first time you vented to him he said something along the lines of “well? get over it. it’s not worth dwelling on it.” when you ran off crying, from then on he made sure to never say that again.

V is for Value- how important is the relationship to them? what is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

your relationship is one of the reasons why he keeps fighting with the war going on. he wants to have that future with you and live a peaceful life after, so in a way it’s a priority.

W is for Wild Card- a random fluff headcanon.

porco is a blanket hog when you go to sleep together. he doesn’t realize it but after he starts to sleep, he will grab the blanket and roll himself in it so that he’s in a blanket burrito and your shivering on the other side. he also snores very loudly. if you wake him up to tell him he will begrudgingly give you some of the blanket, but then he gets cold. he will cling to you the entire night in an effort to keep warm.

X is for XOXO- are they very affectionate? do they love to kiss and cuddle?

porco is a cuddle bug once you get to know him. he especially loves to cuddle in bed or on the couch. he loves it when you fall asleep on him so he can see how pretty your face is when you sleep. porco kisses you many times per day. on the neck, lips, cheek, collarbone, hand, anywhere he can have access to. he loves it when you kiss him back and leave a hickey or love bite.

Y is for Yearning- how will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

he will try to keep in contact with their partner and keep something of theirs by his side always until they come back. if the time is okay, he will write you letters and expect you to write one back saying that you’re alright. he will grab a t shirt you wore out of the hamper and sleep with it for the night because it smells like you. he also might cry a little because he misses you, and he will shed a tear once you come back home with the biggest hug and kiss.

Z is for Zeal- are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? if so, what kind of?

porco would go lengths for the relationship, especially if your life was on the line. he would do everything in his power to make sure you’re safe and comfortable. this is lowkey funny but if you two were in immediate danger, he would let you ride on the back of his titan while he runs to safety. he would sacrifice his life for you as well.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #aot hcs #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #porco headcanons #porco aot #porco snk #snk porco #porco galliard #aot porco #porco fluff #aot fluff #snk fluff

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testingcheats0n · 3 years

Text

Chapter 4

Wow. Peasants are... human beings?! With dreams, desires, and emotions?! With backgrounds and families?!

I stg...

~at the new town~

Not judging author-nim's worldbuilding, but Sophos and Ambiades are too old to be training with wooden swords still 👀

So much yoghurt... is that a thing in medieval times? The mongols could do it, ig it's not that weird, but it's so bizzare

Uuh bushes sticks and mountains... some tolkien shit. Then comes the interesting part.

Edis has one queen (no mentions of a king, so a young unwed maiden or an elderly dowager, intresting, intresting), and eleven ministers, one of which is a Prime minister aka fantasy modern england. Ig I would appreciate it more if I weren't so utterly bored by modern monarchy.

Ohh wait hold on. Is this the Queen from "The Queen's thief"? Pog.

Hope she's not the romantic interest 👁👁

Anyway absulte big brain giga chad magus hasn't told anyone but supposedly Pol about the journey and it's objective. I can't wait to see how that turns out terribly, horribly wrong.

Moving on. The country can't feed itself like at all. It's mountainous so there aren't any fields, and I assume that raising cattle is a nightmare. They also import wine (smart) and olives (what for? Idfk) I think this world is kinda, sorta, lowkey mediterranean with what the youghurt and the oranges.

Ambiades is actually an intelligent dude and I think he'll be a competent politician (according to the standards of this world). He's also a decent survivalist, and I imagine has some skill with weaponry. That's literally better than every other character I've seen except maybe Pol, but he just looks like a grunt. Also yes, the apprenticeship is bellow him, he should be learning how to be a leader, take care of his lands, the political landscape of the kingdoms, and how to lead a household not about the fucking olive trees tf 😂😂 he's a future baron (ngl I thought he was the future duke, so I had to look at the wiki. Sophos is the duke, which makes his incompetence shine through), he'll be able to find himself one hundred other Magisi (Magises?) to tell him which tree is what for him. This is probably an attempt to cozy himself up to the king, and other important figures at the court. Smart.

Solnas (Point A) and Attolia (Point B) two kingdoms that trade. noted. Edis (Edas?) Is the midpoint between these two, and depends heavily on trade.

Ah. Solnas suffers from deforestation. I wonder if it has anything to do with the rapid expansion of the kingdom in the last 10-20 years. Naaah, probably just a coincidence. /s

Anyway Edis serves as a natural barrier between these two big shots which is the only reason Solnas hasn't invaded.

Hu ha! Ambiades MVP, seduce me with your knowledge of the ecopolitical landscape of this imaginary world.

And just as I say so, he reminds me that he's stupid. Like yeah Edis will obviously use all the advantages they have.. duh. They're not cowards because they have found a logical way to not let people die omg 😫

So. This whole one-hundred years of revenge...

Idk what to make of it. Grudges and political struggles can certainly last for more than 100 years, but it's not like Solnas is suffering. Idk. Weird king shit.

All three nations are cognatic... primogenitures? That's certainly not uncommon irl I wonder how they handle unclear successions, or if they've had any civil wars. Also how do they handle marriages.

"The Gods of the Mountain country" how quaint. Ok fire round. Bastardized myth of Hephesta (Hestia), and the titans (sons and daughters of the sky and earth/ Uranus and Gea). We also got minor gods of nature, like nymphs (they remind me of the Old Gods in asoiaf) and the philosopher's stone (alchemy mcguffin that grants immortality)

Aaaah. We finally get plot as a reward. They will steal the philosopher's stone to usurp the kingdom of Edis (since it's seen as a symbol of legitimacy) which is actually a better way to keep track of lineages and keep at bay succession wars. There's no dna tests so I do believe that magic is a more reliable way of knowing these things. If they have Edis, they have Attolia. And all of that rests on the shoulders of a random street rat they found. Just as well. They can always wash their hands of Gen and say he's just a rando if everything fails.

The fact that the magis is there is totally a coincidence, believe him, he's there for the olive trees.

To confirm. Hameathes' Gift = Philosopher's stone. Also like. There's two queens and one king, the story is called the queen's thief and not the king's so Gen's obviolsy going to betray these people or do a switcheroo.

An "exptionally talented thief"? Gen?! BAHAHAHA Lmfaoo these dudes. Olives for brains. And ofc the gem = edis = attolia = revenge, but Gen hasn't caught up.

Oh wait wait??? So. Magus dude wants to become the King's thief??? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHALMAO no I can't. They're getting betrayed and they deserve it, both for being such dickheads and for doing the dickheadery without any thought behind.

Now, now, credit where credit is due. This might have worked if they hadn't chosen the only prideful little brat off the streets that has more ego than brain. Gen obviously wants fame above everything, he won't sit quietly while old olives for brains takes all the credit. Pick someone who wants gold or food next time, or just kill them.

On one hand yeah Magus is right and Gen is an idiot, on the the other... he is a classist douche

Oh? Conquest by marriage? How clever. Unexpectedly clever.

Yes yes! Gen finally figured it out. Revenge. That's important. No one cares about Edis and their sexist backwards lumberjacks.

So old gods = greek myths

New gods = ???

Also Polyphemus built the prison back in the first chapter? For a one-eyed shepherd and man-eater he's an alright builder then lmao.

Ambiades is being lowkey weird ngl... he's bothered by something and I can't figure out what.

#testing reads the thief #the queen's thief #long post #chapter iv #gen #magis #sophos #ambiades

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the-last-cuddlebender · 3 years

Text

When Aang Was

When Aang was hurting, he became a walking wound. His reflection turned into a stranger. His smiles got a bit bigger—his magician’s one-liner to hide his slight-of-hand—, but he couldn’t keep himself above water forever. Even he sometimes forgot that he lost everything and everyone, and forgetting turned remembering into daggers through each of his lungs. It stole his air—his element, his last connection to them.

...the Gaang have a few things to say about that.

And Aang’s family would be damned if they let him bleed alone.

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A/N: The Gaang will walk backwards into hell if it means they can give Aang a hug when he needs one. This was HIGHLY inspired by this beautiful photoset by @imreallyhereforkataang💕 because Yin and Yang make me soft for the airbean I stg. (also special thanks to @demigodseameg16‘s fic request for putting orphan!Aang on my mind!) (also, also, this is my first time writing Mai so ya-hoooo)

Rating: T

Words: 5,074

ArchiveOfOurOwn (AO3)

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When Aang was happy, he talked really fast. His master’s tattoos lost meaning. He tripped over his own feet—graceless but playful—and laughed like giggles were more vital than breathing.

He was an airborne contagion that no one could escape. His family were patient zero, and, almost four years after the war, his quest for world domination was nearly complete. Peace was proven with the smiles he nurtured in others, and his empire of friends and friendly acquaintances circled the globe a dozen times over.

Their symptoms of Aang were chronic—their cheeks always hurt, their middles never stopped aching, he hid their breath behind hurdles of giggles and slap-fights about the absurd...

The list went on and on, just like the peel of his laugh and the warm feeling he left in his wake.

If only the world could see him when he curled up like a cat in its favorite sunny spot every time he lounged across the fuddy-duddy Firelord’s lap. If only the world could see him when Suki caught him using her good makeup—the expensive kind she saved for formal occasions—and the monstrosities he made of his and Sokka’s faces. If only the world could see him when he sent messages to Sokka saying they were from Toph demanding a rematch of whatever they were practicing lately.

Mai didn’t exactly help. She graded his antics with a rubric and gave him feedback, to boot. She refined his nonsense like a blade on a grindstone for greater impact and outcome every time.

The world definitely saw him when he and his lifeline went out in public. He guided Katara down an invisible red carpet every time, and he announced his befuddled Moon’s presence without having to say a single word. He adored getting her flustered—his Mighty Katara—and seeing the beautiful color she turned into. He especially loved the sharp smacks she swatted his shoulder with. He adored her puffed cheeks and her face’s valiant attempts to scowl at him. She hid in his arms from something that wasn’t embarrassment, and Aang kissed her hair at another mission accomplished.

But even if they were ever ‘cured’ of him, his family knew they would never be rid of him. Aang was a master of his craft. His hugs were blue ink, his understanding was his steady hand, and his shoulder to lean or to cry on was a thousand fine needles. His tattoos were unseen but brighter than the sunset’s reflection when the Ocean was in a good mood.

To the world, he was a cure, but, to his family, he was a vice. Neither his better half nor his siblings could shake his grip on them, no matter how hard they rolled their eyes and shooed him away. He saw their pursed lips and grumpy looks as something they wore and that he could take off of them. He found the cracks in their armor like he was a thief turning lock tumblers, and he dug his hands into where they hid their joy.

He was a purple pentapus in airbender robes clinging to their arms, their legs, and their backs. He was their goofy little brother and their grinning parasite, and they wouldn’t have him any other way.

They loved his smile, despite how badly it crippled them. His joy was so second nature that his good feelings became as essential as Mother Nature. The flowers weren’t pretty if Aang wasn’t smiling. He was their greatest weakness—the biggest, happiest, dorkiest chink in their armor.

May the Spirits help the next person who tried to kill him.

Katara would not be held back a second time.

Toph would find someone who needed some punishment if she was left out of ‘the fun’ again.

(Sokka tracked the bastard down, and Suki caught him without—just barely without—snuffing him out)

(Zuko held Aang’s head in his lap while Katara patched up what was broken and tugged his bleeding spirit back into him)

(None of them knew what to do when his fever hit critical. He started talking to people—children, mentors...family—who had been dead for over a century. The six of them were worse than lost when their seventh begged for his old family to talk back to him. He was sorry. He was so, so sorry. He missed them so much—please, he missed them and he missed home so much—)

(When Aang was conscious two days later, Mai sat him down and taught him all that he didn’t want to know but all that he needed to learn about poisons)

...

Four years of healing were four years of silly smiles and cozy camp-outs in the Palace courtyard. Four years of new family were four years of new brothers and sisters discovering, together, what family really meant.

Four years of new family were four Fall seasons where and when nothing (seemingly) happened. Four years and four seasons of dead and dying things came and went like they were never there.

Four Fall seasons became four bundles of dead branches burned between Summer and Winter. A pile of ashes became a memory barely remembered and a nightmare never forgotten.

Four years and four fires were four times he slipped away, unseen, from the anniversary of the war that they ended. Four times he slipped away were four times left by himself with a feeling that was worse than alone.

Four temples and four Fall seasons were nothing more than marks on a map and a calendar.

In the room that Aang used to call his in the home that he used to call theirs was where he kept all of the ‘counts’. At first, he marked the things they missed, just tallies and names on the wall.

Four years and four Fall seasons meant four-thousand names and smudged scribbles of forgotten faces and places they might have thought were pretty. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking and what was left of his heart wouldn’t stop breaking as he carved chalky tattoos, like unhealed scars, into the wall—the one with the window overlooking the places where he struggled to remember playing before.

He didn’t know he was forgetting them until he started having trouble remembering them. The tallies were lives lost, the dashes were shadows without faces, and the names of his family—the names of his old family…—decorated the head of the bed that he used to call his.

He left them notes like they could read them and asked them questions like they might respond.

Four years and four Fall seasons meant nothing to him. He lost everything and everyone in the blink of an eye.

Aang tried not to stay at the temple, especially if he was alone. Thinking alone was dangerous. His thoughts were wild and threatened to burn him.

He made the mistake, once, of walking past the hidden hall that he and his friends—his old family...—used when they sewed chaos into the weave of their home. The hall was stuffed with fond memories but so poorly constructed—so narrow—that it only allowed enough room for a one-way direction to and from the outside.

It was a charred hole with a sooty-black throat that greedily swallowed his shadow. The blackened stone was melted—glassy—and smelled like the instinct to run.

It wasn’t until Aang got back to his family—his new family…—that he imagined his newest nightmare.

It wasn’t his new family’s fault. They weren’t the ones on the festival ride just to his left and screaming into his ear.

Aang’s empty stomach turned inside-out, and he dry-heaved so hard that he couldn’t breathe. It was a strange feeling, struggling for air, having his element all around him but kept just out of his reach.

Those few seconds of breathlessness turned the ground black and the sky into dirt, but someone caught him before his knees buckled. Someone else was patting him from head to toe with tender touches that left no part of him unturned.

His family were worried sick—sicker than he felt. They asked him in a million different ways and in a million concerned voices if he was okay.

Aang struggled to smile for them. It took him four or so tries to get it right. He couldn’t do anything about his shaking, though.

“Can...Can we go home, now?” He whispered his trembling words like they were secrets never meant to be said aloud. He looked at them like a wounded animal limping back to its master—a stray tucking its tail but crawling closer, desperate, with a broken smile peace-offering and a fit of flinches at any sharp sound. The beating was inevitable, but he pleaded for the chance to feel something soft before he was kicked again. He leaned into Katara’s hand, and he flinched and pressed harder when she was warm and real and didn’t move away from him.

He was their goofy little brother and their grinning parasite.

Aang fought his struggle to smile for them, and he trusted his big brother to carry the whole of his weight. Zuko was warm and familiar, and his gentle squeeze was a promise to not let go; Katara’s worried touches and soft kisses were safe, and she swarmed around Aang like a mobile shield.

Aang sensed their tensing. They were his family, after all. He always had two fingers on their happiness’ pulse.

Their questions were a distressed tidal wave.

He didn’t stop smiling even when he closed his eyes.

He couldn’t tell if the hushed voices he heard were from his new family in front of him or from his old family behind him. Aang remembered...

Aang rearranged his lips into what he remembered a smile felt like.

“Please? C’n we...Can we g-go home?” He opened one eye and found both of Katara’s waiting for him. She was horrified and concerned to tears, and she wasn’t the only one.

Aang almost sighed. His strength was bleeding out of him along with everything else. He struggled to keep smiling for her, and he struggled even harder to keep his eyes open. He flinched from the kicks that were their heartbroken looks, but he tried to give them a reason to smile.

Zuko was really warm, though. And Katara’s hands felt really nice on Aang’s face.

The flame of his consciousness flickered—a candle left out in the rain.

“Please, K’tara?” He spoke without meaning to. It was an impulse, an instinct. It was the orphan and the last airbender crawling through the carnage and finally having a spot on the stage to speak.

Cold sweat beaded his brow, and frozen shivers shook his insides. He just wanted to go home, wherever or whenever that was. Everything was too blurry. He couldn’t remember anymore.

Even his new family’s faces were blurry, now, and Aang’s element was torn out of him when his first choke on everything and everyone he lost freed the Oceans behind his eyes.

He just wanted to go home...

“...Please?”

Aang’s voice was the last of him to break, and his family all flinched like they could feel it. His shattered pieces fell all at once and shredded everything he knew and loved.

He curled his fingers into Zuko’s robe to keep himself above water. He shook like something dead about to be churned to ash and carried away—a forgotten memory—on an indifferent passing breeze.

...

When Aang was scared, he talked too fast. His sunshine-warm smile lost meaning. He hugged like he was trying to hold onto something, and he laughed a sound that rang hollow—distorted—like an echo returning from far away.

Toph was the first to notice. His heartbeat was...off. He acted like he was surprised by their group hugs, but the evidence of feeling anything was only skin-deep.

Aang was never happy. He didn’t get happy, either. Aang was happy. He and the word meant the same feeling like how the sun would always mean warmth.

Katara noticed it next—nearly in the same moment. She had no seismic sense, but his kiss wasn’t laden with giggles and his heart didn’t try to beat out of his chest to get to hers when she hugged him.

Suki saw it but didn’t tell the others. She was an elite warrior trained for years in the art of stealth. Aang was the White Dragon and White Lotus tile all in one, but he had a terrible poker face.

Five years marked the start of a new quartet and the shedding of all things old to welcome all things new. They knew Aang loved the festival of the anniversary of the war that they ended, but something was different this time.

Sokka’s instincts saw it coming. Zuko’s hearing picked up on it, too.

Toph won him a prize—a plate of pastries trying to be fruit cakes. Aang greedily ate them and said that he loved them.

His shoulders shook and said that he missed them.

His lip trembled and said that they scared him.

Suki touched between his shoulders and guided him towards something called ‘volleyball’. It was a three-on-three game.

None of them realized until they picked teams that Aang was no longer with them.

It was a three-on-three game.

There were seven in their family.

Mai cursed and cut the net before it could become a fire hazard, and she was barely fast enough to save the netting from turning to kindling when Zuko pulled his hair and charred the sand.

They found him an hour later by following the echoing huffs of Appa’s soft sounds.

Appa held him like he had to chase and pin him down, but Aang held him back like he could never hold on tight enough.

…

Hawky was a master navigator and a tool of military purpose.

Hawky was also distracted when he stopped in the Fire Nation Palace on his way to Aang’s room.

Hawky had never seen a turtleduck before. He was domestic and curious even though the mother turtleduck chased him off like he was a massive predator.

And that was exactly how Sokka found his old bird—soaked and waddling for his life.

There was a message in his pack.

Toph threw open her door to find whoever was about to die from such a fast heartbeat just as Sokka ran past, grabbed her, and sprinted them to the others.

Toph would have fought him if she wasn’t so confused.

Sokka didn’t cry that hard even at that time of year when some girl name Yue had to go away.

…

Hey, Gyatso!

I guess it’s been a hundred years, huh? That’s so weird to think about.

I’ve been meditating just like you taught me. Well, I think I’m doing it right. It’s hard to tell, anymore. I sit in front of the mirror to correct my stance, but it hasn’t felt right in a long time. It’s okay, though! I’ll figure something out. I’m sure there’s a prayer statue in one of the temples that’s still in one piece. I could always check in the mountains, too, but I don’t I can’t I’ll try to check the temples again, first.

A good friend told me yo the Air No all of the Guru Pathik said you’re not really gone, and I believe him.

It’s cold today. It rained, before, so new plants should be growing soon. You would really like it here.

Do you I I miss you. I try not to, but Guru Pathik said to let my emotions flow. He’s gone with you, though. It’s been two years, now.

I wish he He left befor Could you give him a hug from me when you see him?

I hope you don’t miss me, Gyatso. Missing people hurts a lot. I really hope you’re happy, Gyatso. I really, really do.

Please, please, please, don’t miss me.

I miss loved love you!

…

Hey, Gyatso

I have more family, now! You’d really like them. Katara could beat you at Pai Sho, for sure. I tried to show them how you swirled the gooey center of the fruit pies, but I don’t think I did it quite right. It’s hard to tell. I tried it a few times in the mirror, but, when I remember you doing it, I can’t see your hands anymore.

I’m trying, though! I’m trying!

Toph helped rebuild the statues in the temple. I don’t really know how, though. Mai and Zuko convinced me to stay with them and teach the schools how to host a dance while the others left on Appa.

The statues look great. They look almost life-like.

It’s been a hundred years, huh? I try not to That’s so weird to think about.

I can’t thi I don’t kno Please don’t miss me, Gyatso. I’ll write to you more so you don’t miss me. I promise. It’ll be okay.

I can’t s Please, please, please, don’t miss me, okay? Please?

I loved y

My fathe

I loved you, Gy

…

Wet scars like blood splatters littered the letters by the dozens and made Aang’s handwriting nearly illegible.

Katara couldn’t make herself read any more.

She was the last one to break.

Sokka had been the first.

The second she sat next to where their family cocooned him on the bed, he hugged her like she was the only thing keeping him from falling.

She had seen her brother cry before.

But Katara had never seen Sokka weep.

Missing fathers and fathers missing were scars that never quite closed.

Katara choked on years lost and years alone, and she barely felt their family huddle around them, blanketing them, protecting them from what they couldn’t see.

Sokka’s hand left his grip on her to search for someone who wasn’t there. Katara beat him to it, though. Her empty hands pawed her brother’s back and were only mildly tamed by Suki’s tighter hug.

Aang...

The worst part was the helplessness. It wasn’t like they could bring back the dead.

The second worst part was the guilt. He had been alone even when he was right with them.

The third worst part was admitting that they couldn’t heal him. He needed something stronger than stitches to mend his heart.

Sokka tensed and tried to get up with that bullheaded air of setting his mind on something, but he only collapsed further into Katara’s arms. Zuko held them tighter and hushed the both of them. He tried to distract them with a strategy or a plan of what to do.

“...What can we do, Zuko?”

Zuko shut his mouth. Suki held them tighter. Toph sniffled and fisted Sokka’s and Katara’s shirts.

In the too-far-off distance, Appa groaned a series of soft sounds.

They all paused. They all broke.

Suki was the last to start weeping.

…

Clumps. The beast was easy enough to track.

Appa recognized Mai well enough to remember Aang being happy—trusting her—when he hung upside-down from her shoulders and laughed that happy sound that made Appa’s world of no bison feel full of new life.

He let her pass but not without groaning a hurried list of what she had to do to help his buddy.

Mai patted Appa’s nose.

Aang was a pathetic bundle of orange in the far corner of the cave. He was a mountain breaking apart, but his tumbling boulders didn’t make a single sound. His words were cut. His voice was obsolete. He pressed himself into the wall like he might get to something better if only he could come out of the other side.

Mai was a shark fin cutting through still water, and she sunk to a seat right beside him. The ground was cold and damp, but he burned so hot that she could feel the licks of his fever from here.

Her sitting down was the placing of a needle onto a spinning record, and his sounds of sorrow finally broke free of him. They bubbled in his throat like blood threatening to drown him, and he coughed when the instinct to survive overrode his waning will to keep breathing.

Mai closed her eyes and emptied her lungs. She touched the bare skin of his back. He flinched like she had struck him, but he didn’t duck away from her.

Mai let her presence fill his silence. Even he didn’t know what he needed, but she kept doing what seemed to be working. Her hand rode the waves of his choked sounds in long, looping circles that lasted as long as the time it took to take two breathes.

His hiccups dulled to whimpers. His sniffles quieted to shivers. He dug his nails out of his arms and scowled like he was struggling to remember.

The apex of her hand’s circle was his inhale, the bottom of the arch guided his air out. She unwound him in every way and through every layer until he released himself and uncurled enough to show some of the yellow of his robes.

Aang bobbed his head like a metronome.

Mai kept scratching long, looping circles on his back.

He huddled into himself with a ghostly small smile and a barely-there hug, and Mai would have startled if she was a weaker woman.

Aang started to hum.

His vibrato was something within him thinning and threatening to break.

When he started to sing, that thing within him frayed.

It broke when he got to the upturned chorus. It was supposed to be a happy song.

Mai hugged her knees with one arm and scratched his back with the other—keeping him alive like a broken music box from a hundred years ago that lost its key and was fighting fate from becoming obsolete.

…

Aang wore his smile like it was something he could take off.

The Blind Bandit ripped it off of him.

The Blue Spirit broke it in half.

The Kyoshi Warrior tossed it into the fire.

The Painted Lady threw its ashes away.

The Swordsman melted it down and forged it into something protective.

The Dangerous Lady kept its daggers in her sleeves and dared someone to hurt him again.

...

Toph sat across from him and didn’t let him be alone.

Zuko walked past his room to remind him that there was a way out.

Suki brought him books with pictures to show him how to feel again.

Katara was his shadow, his shield, and his favorite dancing partner, coaxing his smile to come out and play with hers.

Sokka told him jokes and laughed hard enough for both of them.

(Mai sat with him and listened to everything she didn’t need to know but everything she wanted to learn about his loss.)

...

When Aang was loved, he couldn’t talk fast enough. His past and his future lost meaning. All that mattered was his family right in front of him and the smiles that bellied their every feeling.

They were tattoos that he could never wash off, not that he would ever, ever try.

Five years of wanting were five Fall seasons of feeling lost. Five Fall seasons of searching were five Fall seasons of feeling alone.

Five friends and one love were six members of his second family.

Two brothers a foot taller and three sisters twice as strong as him meant Aang rarely won when they wrestled.

Sokka was safe and familiar as he sat on Aang’s back. Katara shoved him off. Toph laughed and took his place.

Aang walked, almost skipping—so giddy that he was going to spill over—next to them. They went slow on purpose to stretch out the precious journey home, but he didn’t mind. He told them all about his first family and everything he loved about them.

“—it, Zuko! He rode a dragon, once, too! Oh, Katara, you wouldn’t believe—“

Five years and five seasons of dead and dying things meant nothing to them. They almost lost him in the blink of an eye, and they wouldn’t look away ever again.

They were each a stretch of ink tattooed around his heart. They were stronger than stitches. They were a part of him.

They shooed him away so they could pull him closer, and their smiles were challenges to the size of his own.

...

When Aang was hugged, all he knew was love. All of his wants and needs lost meaning. Everything that mattered to him was everyone who held him, and everyone who held him were always there for him before Aang even knew that he needed them.

Their hugs were surprises like finding out the dead were alive.

They surprised him every time. He flinched, however, like he had never done before.

He was trying, though. He was trying.

Him missing family and family missing him were scars that would always be tender.

Tender was okay, though.

The secret was the gooey center.

“...Sometimes...life is like this...t-this dark tunnel,” he told his swallowed shadow, “...C’n’t see the light...but if...if you just keep going...”

His family were already in the prayer field. They looked at him with faces armed with smiles and arms loaded with hugs.

Sokka waved and said something he shouldn’t have and that, even though it made their family laugh, compelled Katara to shove him into the fountain.

The water was cold.

Sokka screamed.

Aang froze for a small century. He didn’t breathe for a longer eternity.

...And then Aang laughed.

And Aang cried.

And Aang laughed so hard that he cried.

All Aang cared about were the arms now around him, and all he knew were their soft words spoken over and over.

“We love you.”

“It’s okay.”

“Sokka, you’re a dumbass.”

“Oh, shut up.”

The muted smack of a backhand sounded too much like Mai’s for it to be anyone else’s.

Aang laughed a little harder.

He didn’t want to go home, anymore. Home was a memory. Memories couldn’t feel like this.

In their arms, he was finally where he was meant to be.

In their arms, Aang was happy.

In their arms was what home should be.

And when they held him tighter, Aang never felt more wanted in his entire life.

...

And when next Aang needed to speak with him, he found a way.

“Hey, Gyatso,” Aang said, speaking to the person in the mirror who was once a boy, then the Avatar, and now a young man trying to make himself into something that his memories would be proud of. “Did you miss me? You won’t believe this, but Katara lost to me at Pai Sho this morning. She got me back with the fruit pie, though. It even had sea prunes in it...”

Aang talked some more, and he talked fast. The breeze wound into and through the folds of his robes like it was a lounging cat curling into the warm rooms of a new home and new favorite sunny spot. He smiled something brighter than joy and welcomed the windy hugs that could always hold him just tight enough.

When Aang talked to his father, his master’s tattoos lost meaning. The tattoo Gyatso had left behind was so bright that Aang’s eyes watered if he looked thought about it too much.

He talked and talked and cried and talked until he left himself breathless.

It was a strange feeling, being breathless.

His element was suspended away from him, but nothing felt out of his reach.

A body or two (or three) threw themselves at his door.

“Twinkletoes!”

“You better not have my lipstick again! I bought you your own for a reason!”

“Hurry up, Avatar, we’re going to be late!”

Aang laughed just as the—the wall opened?

Katara lassoed his neck with her arms and threatened to kill him with a kiss that yanked him above the clouds and dropped him into free-fall.

“What...” He blinked. “...I mean I...I-I mean I don’t...” He turned a color and temperature that made Katara smile like he hadn’t seen her do in far too long of a time. “...What do I have to do to get another?”

“Ugh.” Mai rolled her eyes and pointed down the wide hall of the secret passage. “Just don’t do anything stupid. And don’t be late for the fireworks.”

Aang smirked something evil, and Katara couldn’t help but smile.

The firelilies only looked pretty when Aang had two dozen in one hand and her hand in his other. He kissed her knuckles, offered his arm, and escorted her down the invisible red carpet. She hid her face in his arm and trusted him to keep her from walking into anything.

He laughed.

His empire breathed a sigh of relief.

The anniversary of the new world they built was familiar, but none of them felt home until they met together on the hill.

And nothing felt right until their sickness started acting up again.

“Aang! Get back here!”

“Aw, c’mon, Sifu Hotman! Where’s your sense of fun?”

None of them realized the fireworks were over until the sky got a bit darker and it was time to go home.

Aang was tired. And when Aang was tired, he dragged his feet and spoke in slurred songs. His lyrics found every lost feeling and forgotten meaning. They were long lists of pretty names and precious things, tender to the touch and still healing.

He was tired, happy, and teary-eyed as he sang a diary-entry of their day to the breeze dancing around them.

Four seasons were six loves and two families that would never let him slip away into the season of dead and dying things.

He was their goofy little brother and their grinning parasite. He was a candle left out in the rain.

So they built a fort around him. And they hugged him like they could never hold him tight enough.

And when Aang was at peace, he didn’t say a word. Words were meaningless. They were a constraint. They only meant a certain something.

So he laughed.

And he laughed.

He laughed even when his family cried, and he laughed harder when they learned to laugh with him.

Six years of found family were six years of found love.

And all six members of his family would never—never—let him Fall again.

***************************************

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mallowstep · 3 years

Note

Twigpaw hadn't ment to overhear--she assumed Onestar thought the Thunderclan apprentice den was empty, and that's why he had attempted to talk to Mistystar so close to it. The minute after the Windclan leader's personal apology had dropped from his lips, an icy hiss had left Mistystar's.

"My youngest son is trapped as a prisoner due to your cowardice, Onestar. Because you were too ashamed to take care of your kits! Five of my warriors are dead, one of them being my other son's mate, leaving their young kits without a mother. Don't fucking apologize to me. Especially when both of us know Windclan was far more welcoming of outsiders when Tallstar was leader, and you knew he would have welcomed that queen and her kits into your clan. You brought this onto the clans! You did! If Reedwhisker dies, I assure you, I WILL take your remaining lives." The Riverclan leader had hissed, voice smooth as ice.

Twigpaw had never been quite so scared of the riverclan leader before in her life.

oh my god this is so good go OFF mistystar my beloved.

i think the scene in shattered sky is after reedwhisker is rescued? but i could b wrong, 0 memory of avos. regardless, regardless, more importantly, i just realized something.

skyclan doesn't know Shit about tigerstar? dang. so much potential but like. they wouldn't Know. this is when twigpaw is in skyclan i think? i don't remember? twigpaw bounces so much i stg. but either way like.

they're all in thunderclan's camp and most cats don't know, actually.

like. bramblestar and feathertail being angry at each other because "this isn't the time, feathertail" "when the fuck is, bramblestar?" and like. hawkwing is just. trying to figure out what the fuck happened.

"violetpaw do you know what's going on"

"dad i'm a child"

but also like -- riverclan and skyclan are now besties because they Fucking get it.

"a tyrant invaded your home?"

"yeah did urs kill a bunch of people?"

"yeah. did urs kill the deputy?"

"yeah omg let's be besties"

hnng. yes. leafstar sees what's up between mistystar and onestar. onestar hit a Deeply Personal Nerve. and maybe i don't know.

("Well, we need to work together. Now isn't the time to bring that kind of thing up," Tawnypelt says, her tail tip twitching against the ground. "He apologized. Do you want to get your land back or not?"

"Shut the hell up," Feathertail hisses. "You don't get a voice in this."

Violetpaw glances between the two of them. She's probably not supposed to be here, but she was looking for Twigpaw and now the only way out of the apprentice's den is to walk between them, and she thinks that would make everything worse.

"You can't -- he's trying to make up for this, Feathertail. And regardless of how you feel about it, we need WindClan to get RiverClan's territory back."

Feathertail scoffs. "Remind me, next time ShadowClan destroys RiverClan, to just not care about it."

Next time?)

and violetpaw would definitely try to track down who to ask about this. maybe she starts with alderheart? foster dad and all that.

("Did something happen between ShadowClan and RiverClan?"

Alderheart's whiskers twitch. "They've been at odds for as long as I've been alive. I think it's just -- one of those things."

Violetpaw sighs, but she sees Mothwing looking at them. The golden she-cat blinks a few times, then licks her shoulder. Alderheart follows her gaze.

"She might know about it." He licks her on her head. "You know I've missed you, right?"

Violetpaw's ears flick. Sometimes it's harder, to let herself think about what might have been.)

hm. mothwing would -- she didn't live through it, but,

("We've been enemies since before I was born," Mothwing says.

"Feathertail said next time. Like this wasn't the first time."

Mothwing sighs. "That was -- a long time ago. Feathertail was about your age." Her ears fold back slightly. "Mistystar never forgave Blackstar."

Violetpaw's nose twitches. "You're avoiding the point."

Mothwing takes a long, deep breath. "It's not a story I've had to tell for a long time, Violetpaw, and it's not a good story. ShadowClan -- has not had a good past. And this is the second time RiverClan has been the victims of ShadowClan's errors." She closes her eyes for a moment. "But -- there was a leader of ShadowClan who...convinced the leader of RiverClan to join forces. And he was responsible for a lot of hurt to my mother, and all of RiverClan."

Mothwing stands. "I want to go check on some of our cats.")

ah violetpaw. just trying to know. yeah. ironically, if someone told her the story like a fable, she'd probably relate to tawnypelt.

but at some point, someone should really explain to skyclan why shadowclan and riverclan are at odds.

(Squirrelflight is the one to take Leafstar aside.

"RiverClan and ShadowClan haven't agreed to anything in years," she starts. "So -- sorry about that. Tends to make a lot of decisions endless bickering." Her whiskers twitch.

"I noticed." Mistystar and Russetstar are on neutral enough terms, but as soon as someone suggests a course of action, they never end up on the same side.

"They've got history."

Leafstar takes a deep breath, trying not to let Squirrelflight's uncharacteristically meandering speech to irritate her.

"I just -- we just--" Squirrelflight takes a deep breath. "You should know. It was a long time ago, before I was born. Bramblestar was an apprentice. ShadowClan and RiverClan joined together, tried to force the other Clans to join them. But -- RiverClan had four known half-Clan cats in it at the time."

Leafstar's tail twitches. Being half-Clan seems entirely foolish to her. She has no "Clan blood," but she has nine lives and as many bones to pick with StarClan as the rest of them.

"Mistystar, Stonefur, Stormheart, and Feathertail," Squirrelflight says, and things begin to make sense. "RiverClan's never forgiven ShadowClan. Usually, we just try to keep them apart, but...")

i don't know what's going on i wanted russetstar but darktail would have to take over shadowclan a different way and look. that's not important. the important thing is u got me thinking.

#misty au #ask #anon #mine

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famdommcfanface · 2 years

Text

Fuck it I'm liveblogging the spn finale too. Christ this is going to be awful

Okay but last episode was kinda weird. Like they kept playing happy music over footage of the boys just being close to tears I stg. I find it strangely funny.

Finally free... to die! Lol.

The dog! Dean hates dogs wtf. I think Sam should have bonded with the dogs.

They're like 'haha Dean's so messy' and I don't think I've even attempted to make my bed in my entire life.

Actually the idea that this episode takes place in 2025 makes me sad. Like they were just in the bunker on their own for five years. It just seems very lonely without Cas and Jack.

Ah. The pie thing. Yes y'all talked about this.

I'm thinking about Cas too and if this takes place five years later get over it tbh.

And there's that high class comedy that we come to spn for.

Right are we meant to recognise these guys? I'm on edge because I know there's people we're meant to recognise in this episode but I also know I will not recognise them. I don't think it's these guys though.

Singer and Kripke gkvhlctjx fucking hilarious guys

That is not a bad drawing I wouldn't be able to recreate it that well.

The journal's barely been in the show for like ten years tbh and they're like 'we need the journal for the finale!!!'

You have no proof these guys are supernatural tho you might just be beheading random murderer dudes (which they're against I think)

Christ trying to cut someone's head off with that knife would be nigh on impossible I think

Yes yes they're like Alex we get the picture.

Ah, saving children, that's a suitably heroic ending I guess.

Let Dean use the shuriken! Come on, what harm can it do? He'll probably just miss.

Come on there's four vampires just murder them. Y'all took on god I think you can handle this without, I don't know, Dean dying or something.

Ah she's the one I'm supposed to recognise isn't she!! I don't do not recognise her. God Sam looks young.

Well that was frankly pointless. Nice to see you Jenny, whoever the fuck you are.

Oh god the nail! The foreshadowing!

Hahaha this is actually really fucking goofy I don't know what to tell you

Rip Dean Wincester you would have loved tetanus shots

The idea of this killing him is actually hilarious genuinely laughing right now. Dean has faced god and won but up against five vampires and a rusty nail and he's fucking dead

This is such a bad ending btw. It was always going to end like this for Dean and that's why it shouldn't? Dean always wanted a family, a home, and like Sam is his family and they're happy I guess but also like Dean always wanted kids?? And he thought he could never have them because he thought this is how he would go down and idk he was right I guess.

Once more, the theme of supernatural is that life sucks, love is pointless and you're all going to die cold and alone. Interesting way for the story to go.

Christ Dean's nearly dead and we're only half easy through the episode.

You're trying to make me sad but this is so fucking ridiculous I'm sorry. Dean has died like five times before but this one is permanent I guess.

Aw okay that's kind of sweet.

Sometimes there's a scene and I hate it but I'm like 'damn the Wincest shippers are winning huh'. I wish they weren't I'm sorry but I just know they love this scene. Sorry guys it's weird.

Thank you Dean! Y'all don't say I love you enough to each other, like the brothers specifically.

Dean has been dying for five straight (ha) minutes now. Getting a little bored lol.

Dean's happy ending is death? Really? Fuck this shit I stg.

The great Dean Wincester being taken down by five vampires I still can't fucking get over that.

Do we ever get a name for the dog I want to know the dog's name. Although I'm glad Sam ended up with a dog that's his happy ending.

Things burn so fucking quickly in spn.

I feel like the rest of the episode will be a montage but it can't be there's 16 minutes left!!

Aw poor Sam.

Can't believe Mary gets to be in on the family graffiti. Sorry I do not like Mary she's just kind of annoying.

Dean's room is so clean I stg what is up with that.

Dean's other other phone! Yay! Surprised he doesn't keep it on him people are calling it all the time, although maybe that's why it always goes to voicemail.

Donna's alive! I sort of assumed but it's nice to know. Which btw means Eileen is alive which means WHERE THE FUCK IS EILEEN

Bobby! Real Bobby! Nice to see you. Where the fuck is Cas. I know John's going to come back and I do not give a shit about him tbh. Would not recognise him if I passed him on the street.

So heaven is just like... Earth now. Just more earth. I'm not against it it's just kinda jarring.

YOU SAY THAT AND THEN CAS DOESN'T COME BACK WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SENSE DOES THAT MAKE??

Frankly time in hell v earth v heaven seems to be fairly linear in supernatural but whatever.

And then Dean drove around for fifty years waiting for Sam I guess because THE IMPALA GETS TO HEAVEN BUT CAS DOESN'T WHERE IS CAS

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON

Ah yes my son and his special monogrammed dungarees

Okay but like Sam never wanted kids!!! He wasn't against the idea like I could totally see Sam having kids but he was never particularly focused on it! Why is Sam the one who gets a son???

I'm crying but not because this is good it's actually because it's actively bad

The party city wig! I'm British I don't even know what that means but I get it

That is a good quality car tbh how old is it at this point. Is it like a you replace the brush and the handle kind of deal because cars don't really last that long.

Dean really drove around for fifty years huh.

Dean Jr's just like fucking die dad Jesus.

Two separate carry on my wayward sons huh. Shame the second one is worse but it also doesn't give me a pavlovian reaction to expect an episode recap.

Sam spent half his life without Dean and that makes me sad.

Rip to Sam's faceless wife. Truly the best character in the series. I'm going to miss you nameless Mrs Wincester.

WHY IS JACKLES TALKING TO ME??? JARED?? WHY IS THIS HOW IT ENDS? IS THAT JUST BECAUSE I'M PIRATING IT OR IS THAT HOW IT ACTUALLY ENDED?

#Supernatural #Destiel #I'm fucking dead ngl #This is wild #posts what I done

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for-a-muse-of-fire · 4 years

Text

imagine being loved by me

Fandom: The Witcher (2019)

Pairing: Geralt of Rivia x fem!poc reader

Summary: You clock him as a witcher the moment he steps into your tavern - his kind never scared you the way the did the rest of the village. So he kills things for money? What’s the alternative - being overrun and eaten alive by things that go “bump” in the night? Given your complete and utter lack of shame, you proceed to flirt mercilessly with the White Wolf, and the night just gets more interesting from there.

Warnings: NSFW/18+ ONLY I STG, GET OFF MY LAWN DAMN KIDS. Smutty smut smut, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, I’d say some dom!Geralt if you squint a bit, plus some standard violence and swearing. Geralt and reader both say fuck a bunch.

A/N: Inspired by my current obsession with Hozier’s song, “Talk”. Y’all, I think this is the first legit thing that I’ve written in several years. Like, at least 5. Maybe more. It’s not perfect, but I still did the damn thing, and that feels pretty rad. Some of you lovely people requested tags - like a dingus, I did not keep track, so this is me doing by best. I honestly don’t think I have to fortitude to keep up a taglist, so I’ll do my absolute best to tag everything under #tutu scribbles so it’s easy to find.

I'd be the sweet feeling of release Mankind now dreams of That's found in the last witness Before the wave hits, marveling at God

He appears in the doorway towards the end of the night. Most of your patrons have stumbled home, save for one small table that has been carousing with a mission. You’re ready to read them the riot act when the stranger steps into the tavern, ushered by a blast of sharp winter air. You notice him right away, mostly because he might be the largest man you have ever seen. He’s tall, and so broad-shouldered that he brushes the door frame on his way in. You momentarily forget what you’re doing in favor of gawking a bit, bar rag paused mid-swipe when he pulls back the hood of his heavy cloak.

Gods on high, he’s handsome. Almost pretty.

Features that belong on a marble statue and a soft looking mouth that you can’t help but focus on.

He takes a cautious glance around the room and catches you staring. Given that you don’t know the meaning of the word “shame”, you don’t bother to duck your head, though you have enough sense to not grin out-right like a loon. It’s difficult, though.

White hair. Honey-gold eyes.

What really gives him away is the silver medallion that swings out from under his cloak. The size of a large coin, it shows a snarling wolf’s head in profile.

A Witcher.

He holds your gaze and something shivers its way down your spine. His boots carrying him silently across the worn floorboards and you find yourself trying to fluff your hair, make the riotous curls behave for once. You move to meet him when he sits at the end of your bar – even seated, you’re nearly eye-to-eye with him. The smile you offer is a crooked one, bordering on coy.

No harm in a little fun.

“Just in time, friend,” you rib him gently. “I was getting ready to close down and call it a night.”

“Lucky me,” the witcher rumbles. Rumbles - you’re not sure what else to call it. His voice sounds like gravel and thunder. His golden eyes take in your face, and you feel warm, in spite of the drafty space. Something in the vicinity of your stomach starts to flutter excitedly.

Testing the waters, you lean against the bar top with crossed arms. His eyes dip to the swell of your breasts at the top of your bodice.

You grin. “What’s your pleasure, Witcher?”

Gold eyes snap up to meet your darker ones and there is heat in that gaze. The witcher lets out a low kind of a sound, that soft mouth of his turning up at one corner.

The fluttering thing in your belly turns liquid – molten.

“Ale,” he says, handing over a few crowns. “Please… miss.”

“Right away.”

You pull a clean tankard from it’s spot and you turn your back to fill it. Being under his gaze isn’t unlike standing in direct sunlight – you can feel it press warmly against your back and shoulders. You try to focus on pouring a decent pint, but all you can think about is the fact that it’s cold out, and it’s been far too long since you’ve had someone warm and vital in your bed. The golden-eyed man behind you certainly seems vital.

Mind made up, you turn to present him with his ale and lean into the bar again. His eyes dip down the line of your neck, a little farther, and then up to find you grinning.

“Enjoy,” you tell him “Get comfortable, Witcher. I’ll be nearby if you need me.”

He “hmms” at you, very nearly grinning himself. Teeth caught against your bottom lip, you pull yourself away and begin your end-of-night duties – gathering empty bowls, cups, dirty utensils – to bring them through to the kitchen. You find yourself stealing one last glance at the witcher as you bump the kitchen door with your hip and slip away. A song, some manner of bawdy barroom ballad, comes to mind unbidden and you find yourself humming tunelessly to yourself as you start the washing.

You swear, you’re barely gone a few moments when you hear the racket begin. Raised voices, drunk voices – damn, you’d forgotten the table of stragglers – and the low rumble of the witcher. An irritated sigh huffs up from your chest and you dry your damn hands on your apron, leaving the rest of the washing in the basin.

The loud voices of drunk men become more clear as you step up to the door separating the kitchen from the tavern: “We don’t want you here, fucking mutant.”

There’s a crash, then the thud of fist hitting flesh. Dammit. So much for your fun tonight.

You swear under your breath and reach for your only real weapon – the heavy wooden baton has a place of honor beside the kitchen door. Slowly, quietly, you easy your way back into the main room. With the layout of the tavern, you’ve appeared behind the drunks – the witcher can see your movements from where he stands, the idiots can’t. The witcher’s mug of ale has been shattered on the floor. He’s surrounded, three drunks around him and the bar top at his back. The red mark high on his cheekbone gives you a hint as to who swung the first punch.

Golden eyes meet yours. You see his jaw tense, and he gives a short jerk of his head; ‘stay back,’ the motion says. It’s almost enough to make you take pause, until you see the glint of a blade; the witcher is focused on you, not on the knife that one of the drunks just pulled. Adrenaline zips through your system and you lunge without thinking, wielding language most unbecoming of a lady. How you manage to keep from tripping on your skirts is beyond you. The would-be knife fighter gets three bone-rattling strikes – knee, diaphragm, nose – and drops, clutching his face with some creative profanity.

His drunk cohorts gawp stupidly at you. You glare daggers in return.

“You are no longer welcome here,” you snap. “Get the fuck out, or it’ll be you on the ground next.”

They considering their bleeding, whimpering friend on the floor and decide not to chance it. You keep your club at the ready, watching as the morons pick up their wounded friend and usher him out the door. The breath that you didn’t remember holding comes whooshing out, and then you turn to your last guest. He’s tense as a wire, fists still clenched – your voice seems to snap him out of it:

“All right, Witcher?”

He exhales, pulling his focus from the door and back to you. “Yeah… yes,” he replies. You watch him flounder a moment, as if he’s just realizing what happened. “Thank you. That was… thanks.”

“Any time.”

That’s apparently not a response he’s heard before – it shows on his face for the briefest of second, and then you can see the barrier drop behind his pretty gold eyes. He seems cold as the winter outside when he speaks again, “I’m sorry for the trouble, miss. Thank you for the ale.”

A few more crowns appear from the folds of his cloak – he leaves them on the bar, and you can’t help but blink at him as he starts to make his way to the door. It’s entirely possible that you should leave him be, but you still find yourself calling out:

“Hold on, Witcher!”

He almost ignores you, leather-gloved hand on the heavy iron handle of the tavern door. You can’t help it – he starts to curse under his breath, and you find yourself grinning about it. He’s still grumbling when he finally turns and those honey-colored eyes find your face again. You tilt your head, curls akimbo across your shoulder, and offer up a soft smile.

Some of the ice behind the witcher’s eyes starts to melt and you could swear he’s trying not to smile back. “… Geralt,” he rumbles at you. “My name is Geralt. Of Rivia.”

“Geralt of Rivia,” you murmur, and offer your name in return. “Please, Geralt. You’re nearly knifed in my establishment and I think courtesy dictates I offer you something by way of apology. Besides… when was the last time you had a hot meal?”

That perks him up. He may not be fully human, but he’s still male.

You exhale, a breathless chuckle of sorts, and move closer. If there’s an extra sway in your hips, well, you can’t help that and he doesn’t seem to mind. He’s momentarily distracted by the cut of your bodice again and you preen internally. You offer him the hand not holding your club and smile up into his face.

“Come and sit with me, Geralt of Rivia.”

___

After the broken tankard is swept up and the spilled ale dried, you disappear into the kitchen and return with a plate for your guest – the night’s dinner special. Braised beef, potatoes with garlic and butter, and roasted winter vegetables from your garden out back. Geralt, finally stripped of his cloak and gloves, tucks in with the ravenous hunger of a tired traveler. He shovels a mouthful down, then stops, blinking down at the plate.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, frowning.

He very nearly speaks with his mouth full, thinks better of it, and swallows. “This is fucking delicious,” he says, deadly serious. You laugh.

“Thank you.” Pride swells in your chest; you’ve always been proud of your cooking. “Most of it came from my own garden.”

Geralt hums. His next bite is smaller, and he takes his time chewing it. The sight of him enjoying his meal makes you feel contented. He eats, and you go about your work. The fire in the hearth has burnt down some, but it’s enough for you to be able to finish the night’s cleaning. When you slip back behind the bar, Geralt’s plate is empty – he may have actually licked it clean. He seems almost content himself as he finishes his ale.

“Still hungry?” you tease. He squints at you for a moment, but the corner of his mouth ticks up.

“No, thank you. I may not need to eat again for a few days.”

You laugh at that, “Good, that’s what I like to hear. Stay put, all right?” You nod at the bruise that’s started to bloom on his cheek. “I think I have something for that…”

The empty plate is cleared and you grab a small basket from the kitchen. After filling Geralt’s mug one last time, you pour a small goblet of wine for yourself and come to sit next to him at the bar. He watches you as you open your small kit. “A cook, a fighter, and a healer?” he muses. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Can’t sing for shit,” you shoot back. “And a cook, yes, but you’re very generous, calling me a fighter, or a healer. Really, I think I just know enough about either to be dangerous…”

Geralt snorts indecorously. “I think our friend with the broken nose might beg to differ.”

“Doesn’t take much skill to break a nose – long as you swing hard enough. Hah!” You’ve found it – the little salve jar at the bottom of your kit. You turn to Geralt with a grin and hold out the jar for his inspection. “I hear your lot are the expert on this kind of thing. What do you think?”

He “hmms” again – you rather like that sound – and twists open the top of the jar. You watch him give a careful sniff before he peers in to look at the contents itself. “Frankincense,” he mutters. “Honey… mugwort? Good mix.”

You grin. “Thank you. Does the trick for black eyes and stove burns. Gimme that – “ Taking the jar back, you take a sip of your wine before tapping the big witcher on the knee. “Turn this way, please.”

He cocks an eyebrow, but obeys, and you move to stand between his splayed legs. Gods, but he’s warm. Heat rolls off of his body like the warmth of your tavern fire and it’s all you can do to keep from leaning into him. By the way he’s eyeing you, you’re not sure if he’d mind. You tap a little of your healing salve onto the pad of your ring finger and place the jar back on the counter – when you meet his gaze, he nods in silent consent. Gently, you take his chin in your hand and turn his bruised cheek towards you.

“You heal faster than most, I’ve heard,” you murmur, gently pressing the salve into his skin. “But I can’t imagine getting hit in the face feels good.”

Geralt snorts again. “No, it doesn’t. Not something you really get used to, either.”

“… Geralt, how many times have you gotten punched?”

“This week, or…?”

You blink at him. When he smirks back, you realize that he is, in fact, pulling your leg. “Oh, you’re the funny one, are you?” you say drily.

He continues to smirk as you grumble, tugging his chin so you can finish applying your salve. Both of you go quiet. The silence isn’t strange – it’s almost comforting. You hear the last intact log on the fire pop. Outside, the wind has picked up. It whistles past the windows, makes what’s left of the fire gutter in the hearth. It’s going to be wickedly cold tonight. You consider your room upstairs, that empty bed…

“Geralt?”

“Hmm.”

You chuckle. Your hand drops from his chin and he uses the opportunity to meet your gaze again. It’s at that moment that you realize just how close you are, and perhaps he notices too. Golden eyes scan your face lazily – heat blooms in your chest when his gaze drops to your mouth. He can probably hear the way your pulse kicks up, what with those heightened senses of his.

Maybe the night wouldn’t be a wash after all.

“I have a hunch,” you mumble. “Don’t be alarmed.”

You kiss him. His lips are dry, but smooth. He lets you lean into him, hands braced on his powerful thighs. His palm is so warm against your hip that you can feel it through your skirts; the sensation makes you shudder against him and sigh into his mouth.

Geralt growls, and you feel a desperate, aching heat settle between your legs.

The hand at your hip presses into your lower back and you stumble into him. You taste the ale on his tongue, try to lick the bittersweet flavor from your mouth as his other hand joins in to squeeze at your ass. He crushes you closer – even through the sturdy material of his trousers, you feel the hard line of him straining against your belly. A whine cracks its way up from your throat, and you want…

You want.

“Stay with me,” you gasp, pulling back for air.

Geralt’s eyes are hooded, his lips slick and kiss-swollen and it takes every ounce of your willpower to keep from lunging in to bite at him. You run your tongue along your own bottom lip and he tracks the motion hungrily.

“Stay with me,” you say again. Your arms wind around his neck. “Keep me warm tonight, Geralt of Rivia.”

He grins slow, pulls you back to him – the tip of his nose is cold when it traces up the line of your neck. “I think I’d like that…”

Teeth and tongue and lips map the curve of your neck. Your fingers tangle their way into the witcher’s hair and tug when he sucks a bruise onto your pulse point. He rewards you with a low sound, breathless and hot on your skin. Oh, he likes that.

“Keep that up,” he growls. “And I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”

You tug again.

The dam breaks.

You’re not sure how, but his hands feel like they’re everywhere; pushing through your curls, squeezing at your hips, groping at your waist. It’s like he’s trying to break you apart, piece by piece. Strip you open until you’re nothing but bared nerve endings and gasping breath.

Somehow, you make it upstairs and into your room. It’s a miracle that the only clothing left behind in the tavern is his cloak and gloves. Everything else is strewn this way and that through your room – your bodice ends up thrown over a chair and Geralt’s shirt nearly gets stuck on a rafter. One of his boots ends up by the cold fireplace and he kicks the other one off as he whips your chemise over your head. He crowds close, pushes you back until he has you laid out naked across the bed.

Geralt’s grin is lopsided – wolf-like – as his golden eyes take in your bare skin. Your breath stutters when he lowers himself, lips hot and smooth on the skin of your neck. He nips and bites his way down your torso, pausing only to lave his tongue over the dark peak of one breast, then the other. Fire shoots through you and your eyes slam shut – you gasp his name, make him chuckle into your flesh. Strong hands ease your legs apart and you jump when he bites at the softness of your belly, just below your navel. You can feel his low laugh more than you can hear it.

“Easy, little rabbit,” Geralt murmurs. You breathe out a shaky chuckle and prop up onto your elbows, just in time to watch the witcher reach up to tie his shock-white hair away from his face.

Your mouth goes dry. That wolfish grin is back.

His breath is hot on the crease of your thigh. “I’m just getting started,” he rumbles.

Then Geralt swipes his tongue up the slit of your sex and you wonder for a moment if this is what being struck by lightning feels like. His tongue finds your clit and it is suddenly very hard to think anymore. Your back bows up from the bed as you groan brokenly. One hand shoots down, fingers reaching for something to keep you from flying through the roof, and you grip at the witcher’s hair again. The growl he lets out buzzes against your core and it all goes fuzzy after that.

You feel him grip bruises onto your thighs. You feel the rasp of his stubble. Then, pressure, followed by delicious fullness a Geralt pushes one finger, then another into your slick heat. He stretches you, twisting and thrusting his fingers in time with the flicker of his tongue. You gasp for breath, hips lifting to meet Geralt’s mouth. He seems to be enjoying himself as much as you are – he growls against you, and the hand on your thigh jerks you closer. The sound his mouth and his fingers on you is utterly depraved, wet and sloppy.

Geralt’s fingers curl inside of you, pressing up towards your navel. You come, hard and fast, crying his name.

Over the thunder of your heart, you hear him growl against your thigh, “Fucking beautiful…”

He lays a few biting kisses to your inner thigh before he stands and swipes the back of his hand over his mouth. You stare up at him with outright hunger as he strips off his trousers. He’s solid muscle, battle-scarred and gorgeous, thick cock curving up towards his belly. He smirks, but doesn’t move, seemingly content to let you feast your eyes.

Once you’ve had your fill, you meet Geralt’s hooded gaze and push yourself back on the mattress. With a little extra arch in your back, you crook a finger. Geralt crouches and crawls up the bed to you. His hips settle between your parted thighs, hands braced on either side of your head. Those eyes of his scan your face hungrily before he lunges in for a kiss.

You lick the tang of your cunt from his tongue. The underside of his cock slides against your clit, making you arch into him with a whine, “Geralt…”

He hums low in his chest, shifts his weight to bring one hand up to cup your cheek. “Look at me, sweetheart,” he rasps. His thumb strokes slowly over your cheekbone. “Look at me – want to see your face – “

Geralt shifts back and thrusts home, hard – the blinding pleasure punches the air from your lungs in a shout. Your hands fly up to grip his back. “There it is,” he groans. “Good girl…”

All you can do is mewl in response, trembling. The thumb brushing at your cheek moves to your mouth, pressing and stroking at your bottom lip. You meet Geralt’s gaze with lust-glazed eyes and suck the tip of his thumb into your mouth.

“Fuck”, he hisses.

He drags a slow thrust out, and pushes back in to the hilt over and over. Each heavy thrust of his hips drives you into the mattress and you meet him eagerly, pitched cries muffled by his thumb. Geralt curls himself over you. His thumb pulls from your mouth with a wet sound so he can grip your chin instead, force you to meet the heat of his eyes. It’s skin and sweat and heated, desperate pleas. Your hands grip at his shoulders, his back, nails leaving lines of red that only spur him on. The witcher pushes at your chin, baring your neck to him so he can scrap his teeth against your sweat-slick skin. You clench around him with a low cry.

His lips press against your ear and he starts talking, rumbling, low and filthy. Your eyes nearly roll back into your head.

Fuck, the mouth on him. He tells you how fucking good you feel around his cock, how wet you are for him; it’s a litany of debased promises and you can only gasp in return. The rumble of his voice, the drag of his cock pushes you higher and higher, tightens the coiled lightning in your belly. You are unconcerned with keeping quiet.

Geralt slips a hand between your bodies. The pad of his thumb pulls across your clit and you are gone, your orgasm fierce and relentless. You keen, whole body curling up into Geralt’s chest; your teeth catch his shoulder and you bite down hard enough to bruise.

The witcher gives a ragged shout into the side of your neck. He pulses into your clutching heat, hot and steady.

Neither of you move for what seems like an age. You feel sticky, and sore, and it feels good. Geralt shifts at last, carefully slipping out of you – you both shudder with the last aftershocks. “Fuck,” he grunts.

“Pretty sure we just did, love,” is your slightly slurred response.

Geralt squints down at you, but you just smile sleepily back, and it’s enough to make him laugh. Like a good gentleman, he makes certain to roll off of you before he collapses on his stomach with grumble. He pulls you into his side; you hum contentedly. The blistering heat beneath your skin has begun to cool, and you feel wonderfully boneless.

The witcher can barely keep his eyes open, but he tries to focus on your face. “All right?” he mumbles into a pillow.

“More than,” you murmur back.

“S’good…” And he’s out cold.

You follow soon enough.

_____

You don’t wake until the next morning, sore, but very pleased with yourself. Winter sunlight, bleached and cold, pours in from the casement. There is a brief pang of disappointment when you reach for Geralt and find him gone, but then you hear the crackle of a fire and turn over. It’s a lovely sight. The witcher stands from his crouched position in front of your now-lit fireplace, and you take a moment to admire the well-sculpted curve of his backside as he pulls his shirt on. He’s found his trousers and boots, as well – pity.

“Thank you,” you mumble, sleepily. He turns to you as you sit up, bedsheet clutched over your nakedness.

“Don’t mention it.”

You study his handsome face for a moment. His expression is unreadable, but his golden eyes are warm. “Leaving?” you ask.

“Have to,” he tells you. “Unless your town has a noonwraith that needs destroying.”

“No, thank fuck.” You stand and stretch with a groan, tying the bedsheet over your breasts. “Well, come on, then.”

Geralt chuckles, but follows you downstairs and to the kitchen. Into a kerchief you tie a loaf of bread, some good cheese, salted pork, and dried fruit. The witcher looks at you with something akin to surprise when you hand him his provisions. You simply smile back and step into him. He allows you to wind your arms around his neck, meeting you halfway in a kiss that makes your heart skip a beat. You don’t want to let go, but you force yourself to step back after a few breathless moments.

“Goodbye, Geralt of Rivia,” you murmur. You consider more, almost don’t, and then, “If, ah… if you ever find yourself out this way again – “

“I will. I’ll have to.” He gives you a crooked grin. “Only place I can get good meal around here.”

You laugh outright, and it seems to make Geralt’s grin widen. Following him back into the main tavern, you insure he has his effects and provisions before you watch him take his leave. With a shiver, you recall the newly lit fire in your bedroom and find yourself taken the steps two at a time to get there. Between the cold, bleached sunlight shining in from the window and the warmth of the fire in the hearth, it doesn’t take much to convince yourself that a lie-in is just what you need.

Your pillow still smells like him.

#geralt of rivia #geralt x poc!reader #geralt x reader #geralt x you #the witcher #the witcher netflix #all aboard the smut bus #poc reader #fanfic #fanfiction #geralt smut #tutu scribbles #the wench and the witcher

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vampish-glamour · 3 years

Note

Ok firstly, I stg this isn't a shitpost.

I'm a cis woman, butch as fuck, but still very much cis. I mean I've had issues with internalized misogyny and body dysmorphia, but never dysphoria (I think)

I really want to yodel. (This isn't a shitpost) But online, people have told me (mostly via a sideways, the music youtuber, video) that only people with high testosterone (aka men) can yodel. This is upsetting to me, as I've wanted to learn how for a while. (Again I know this is stupid as fuck but it isn't a joke or a shitpost)

Would it be a stupid decision for me to (either temporarily or what have you) try HRT or something similar in order to increase the testosterone in my body so that I can yodel? Or would I be potentially hurting myself?

I have no qualms with looking/sounding like a man, btw.

I know this sounds weird and extreme but it's something that's really bothered me for about a year now and I need some advice from people who understand what transgenderism actually is. If I were to ask the mogai crowd, they'd tell me to do it anyway bc they don't believe in gender. I figured you could help me with some advice or point me in the direction of someone who could give me some. (Please no terfs, radfems, or transphobes)

Sorry again, this is so weird to talk about, and I don't know who to go to lol

Hi! First of all, please don’t put down your interests!!! Yodelling is hella cool. And I’m pretty sure I’ve heard women do it.

I just searched it up, here’s a video of a little girl yodelling, and killing it!

Here’s Jewel,

a 12 year old girl,

A mom annoying her kid (the ending’s adorable omg),

Three women,

And I’m sure there’s much more out there! I just searched up “women yodelling” and these were fun to listen to!

Point is, clearly women are able to yodel. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were different techniques for men and women, since men and women have different voices. Maybe try specifically looking for female yodelling techniques, and if you’re looking for coaches—people who are either women themselves or know how to teach women. Right now you might be looking at sources made for/by males, which would make the techniques not applicable to females. In the same way techniques for females wouldn’t be applicable to males.

As for going on testosterone, I would say it’s not a good idea. Because it wouldn’t just be making you sound like a man, and being butch and looking like a man vs being on testosterone which makes you look like a man are very different things. One is being gnc and is about presentation, the other is taking hormones that physically change your body.

You have to keep in mind that testosterone is going to cause bottom growth, male pattern baldness, and facial hair (probably more, these are off the top of my head). I’ve heard trans men say that they experienced acne and increased sweating when they went on T, as well as oilier and rougher skin. I’m not sure of the effects on breasts, I think they may decrease in size? Either way, these side effects aren’t going to be taken well by a cis woman. It’s why detransitioners describe actually giving themselves gender dysphoria, because they experience physical changes that their brain knows shouldn’t be happening. And many of the changes aren’t temporary, which leaves long lasting effects on their mental health.

I would strongly recommend against going on T for something like this. Especially because from what it looks like, women can absolutely yodel without going on testosterone.

I’ll tag @kiss-the-cis and @myragewillendworlds because they have good sources on dysphoria and such, and might be able to give better information than I can if they wish. And you can also look through the sources on their blogs if you want to learn more!

And good luck with yodelling! it seems like a really cool thing to learn! 😄💕

#asks #anon #no need to apologize for sending this!

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tscmu · 4 years

Text

first dates with haikyuu boys :)

pt 1. - msby black jackals

genre; kinda fluff idk?? just kinda cute early relationship tings

warnings; secondhand embarassment, lil suggestive comments ( from atsumu who am i kidding )

characters; bokuto, atsumu, hinata + sakusa

all characters r timeskip and 18+ !!

koutarou bokuto

- bruh youd be terrified for this date like.. a guy youve hardly spoken to with a massive personality asking you to meet him at a tiny cafe.. ok

- hed love tiny cafes though like the ones nobody are in so its just you two.. AWH

- dates wouldnt be a massive thing to him so youd be dressed up casual formal with light makeup on and hed strut off the bus in his kit literally sweating, just left practice and youd be like 😳

- you wouldve met him at a club like a week back when you were both off your faces and youd wake up the next morning with no idea what happened the night before, just like 10 texts from someone with the contact name ‘BokJUt OWks MAn’ asking you on a date.. why wouldnt u say yeah??

- it would go rly well !!

- i think itd be a bit slow at first, like youre both describing your lives when.. it happens

- youre both just aimlessly chatting, both tuning in and out of conversation waiting for the food to come when.. you hear it. the thing that you did that you thought NOBODY else did. and he does it.

- “and one of my roommates tsumu always yells at me because i collect stamps-” “WAIT YOU COLLECT STAMPS?? ME TOO BRUH”

- youd both have a joint aneurysm literally

- after that youd be infatuated with eachother ITD BE SO CUTE

- youd get the bill both like a lil tipsy, heading further into the town to just go window shopping in the moonlight

- UWUWUWUWUWUWU pls

- then hed accidentally set off the jewellery shop alarm pointing at a pretty ring and poking the glass too hard-

- when your taxi came he’d be really sad.. then as you close the door hed just jump in and find his own way home HAHAHA

- 10/10 date would do again.. and you did

atsumu miya

- oh you would be EXCITED

- until you found out his suggestion.. one of his own fucking games

- you just cut it down to the fact that he was a personal volleyball player, he was probably busy, yk?? but no it was because he wanted to show off to you🙄🙄

- you met him on the street like he literally picked you up on the street.. only he yall only he

- well of course you liked him have you seen him

- you exchanged numbers and were texting for like a week ( where he just begged you to come to a game ) before finally you said ok

- because its a date you didnt wanna bring along someone else so you just kinda showed up on your own and followed the crowd.. before finding out you were on the WRONG SIDE OF THE COURT

- he teased you about this for years to come and you wanted to burst out crying every time

- after finally finding the right seat on the RIGHT SIDE, the players came out and.. lets say you were surprised

- you didnt know that much about volleyball beforehand but.. d a m n

- those uniforms were hot😳😳

- the game went well and they won ( to his extreme happiness ), and then you finally got to meet him again

- it was subtle at first, like while he was signing shirts hed look over his shoulder and wink or something lmao

- thats until hinata and bokuto got to the area you were at and went feral, killing tsumus whole vibe HAHA

- “OH SHIT THATS THE GIRL HE INVITED!!” “WAIT IS IT- OH HI Y/N!! HES BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOU FOR AGES HE EVEN JE-” “BRO FUCK OFF”

- to which you just laughed your head off about

- bro he gave you a kiss on the cheek when he walked over making all the fangirls go absolutely feral.. twitter talked abt it for AGES even after you revealed you were dating 2 months after it happened

- you had to wait around for HOURS whilst he talked to interviewers.. struggles of being famous🥶‼🔥

- but it was worth it ofc

- he took you out to this lil restaurant when he finally got away and even walked u home.. such a gentleman damn

- “so when can i see you again.. and maybe a bit more ;)” “sHUT UP-”

- lets just say u definitely did that again-

shoyo hinata

- oh my god hed be more nervous than you were

- hed overdress like.. not full suit but pretty damn close

- i feel like hed not be that focused on women?? the volleyball grind comes first yk

- but when he made eye contact w you across the meeting table.. jeez he went feral

- bro when he was asked a question he couldn’t function you were just like ??

- atsumu basically had to ask you out for him after it finished he was so nervous HAHA

- you called him cute when he pulled up and he genuinely turned into a tomato like.. ushijima would farm him if he saw him

- hed book you a table at this really fancy restaurant ( with a lil financial help from kenma ) and you were genuinely shocked lmao

- i feel like youd work with the jackals as like a promoter or sumn and hed just be shocked.. like he didnt know you even existed bruh??

- because of that hed be pretending hed had his eye on you for a while ( to which you just laughed knowing he was trying to be cool )

- hed tell you to order something expensive but you knew how much those guys got paid.. yeah no.

- but hed warm up MASSIVELY like by the end of it after a glass and a bit of wine youd both be like peas in a pod literally

- youd go for a lil walk around the city centre before u found a taxi.. HED BE SO SAD LIKE HE DIDNT WANT IT TO END??

- hed go in for the kiss i know he would

- youd be like ??? but kiss him back bc why wouldnt u hes a baby

- best date you’d had in a couple years by far

kiyoomi sakusa

- you literally wouldnt realise it was a date until the end i stg this man

- hed deadass show up to ur door and be like ‘cmon’ and youd be like EXCUSE ME SIR-

- i feel like you wouldve known eachother for at LEAST a couple months

- and he wouldve just done NOTHING like you didnt even know he felt a romantic connection to you

- but trust me he did

- he just didnt know the words to say :(

- but this is what the lads told him to do LMAO

- before u knew what was happening you were in the backseat of a taxi and he was telling them a street in the middle of the city-

- “oh we’re going out to dinner” “wha- i didnt bring my purse tho-” “eh.” literally

- you were kinda surprised because you knew how much he hated crowds and dinner in the city seemed unlike him, more like something you would enjoy

- but thats exactly why he did it

- youd pull up and do a double take when he was asking for a table.. WHO THE FUCK WAS SITTING AT THE BACK OF THE RESTAURANT

- however after being motioned to shut up by atsumu you acted like you saw nothing

- it was just like the other times youd hung out but he was a little more.. interested in you

- not like suggestive, he just genuinely was asking about like how your day was, etc IT WAS CUTE AS HELL

- it was at that point you realised oh shit, this might be a date-

- when it was over you suggested going into the city and looking in shops for a bit, but the restaurant filled with people was enough for him lmao

- you got a taxi back and were standing outside your apartment door when he did something hed never done before

- MANS HUGGED YOU

- it was then you realised.. did he actually like you??

- spoiler he did

- and things were different between you ever since IM UWUING PLS

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