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golbrocklovely · 2 years

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your first kiss (ever) with colby headcannon

requested by @lillybearblog: i was wondering if I could request an imagine where Colby gives you your first kiss? If you take requests

A/N: i'm not technically taking request rn, but i was inspired to write this. especially since i haven't done a headcannon in so long. almost a year at this point. hope you guys like it ! you're gettin a two for one with this haha let me know what you think :)

teenage!colby:

you've know of snc for a while since you went to school with them.

plus they were starting to blow up a lot on vine and everyone in school just knew who they were.

whether or not they liked them lol

you always thought colby was cute and had a couple classes with him.

but you were too shy to ever say anything to him.

and on top of that he didn't really talk in school so you didn't really know how to even strike up a convo with him.

and then you found out from a friend of yours that colby had a gf, so you knew things just weren't gonna work out for you.

one night your friend throws a party

and you couldn't believe that she actually invited snc, and that they actually showed up.

you kept looking over at them, and had once or twice caught colby's eye.

but you were way too scared to go talk to him.

later on into the night, you go outside to get some air, and colby is in the backyard.

he hears you come out of the house and looks over at you.

you awkwardly wave at him, he does the same back.

you ask "what are you doing out here?"

you find out that his gf broke up with him the night before, and sam thought this was a nice way to get his mind off of things

but it wasn't helping.

you end up talking with him for an hour, and get to know each other decently well.

even he's surprised at how well he opened up to you.

eventually he asks you "what's one thing you haven't done yet that you want to do?"

you tell him you've never been kissed before. you felt kinda embarrassed admitting it bc you were 17 and felt like you should have had it by now.

(btw if that does apply to anyone reading this, omg you're not weird for not having your first kiss yet. you have SO MUCH TIME)

colby admits to you that he only recently had his first kiss, so you shouldn't feel embarrassed.

you're surprised, "there are so many girls that want to kiss you. especially my friends."

he laughs at you, and asks if that's why sam and him got the invite.

you say sort of.

silence falls over the two of you for a moment.

then colby says "…would you be one of those girls… that wants to kiss me?"

you can't help but blush at his words. you don't know how to respond.

eventually you say yes.

colby hums, and then turns to you.

you lock eyes with him, and even in the dark his eyes are intensely blue.

he leans in and kisses you.

it's sweet, it's warm, and goes by way too fast for your liking.

suddenly there is a commotion in the house

the cops showed up bc of a noise complaint.

a bunch of ppl start running out of the house.

sam appears after a couple seconds, grabs colby and tells him that they need to run.

colby looks at you, gives you a kiss on the cheek, and runs with sam.

you never really got to speak to him again, but in the end you were happy he was your first kiss.

adult!colby:

you've been friends with colby for a couple years.

you met him at some influencer party and have just been casual friends.

you see each other every once in a while and it's always nice.

he's just such a fun person to be around.

eventually at another party, you guys see each other again

and you hang out the whole night.

apparently sam and kat were out on a date and he didn't really have anyone to chill with.

his other friends were around, but he didn't really feel like mingling.

and you were fine with that.

you guys had so much fun dancing, drinking, and just talking about whatever.

when the party was settling down a bit, someone cleared the island in the kitchen

and in the center was a beer bottle.

"let's play some spin the bottle!" someone shouted.

and now here you were, in the middle of a spin the bottle game.

but now with alcohol lol

and basically if the other person didn't want to kiss, they would drink.

you were kinda terrified.

you were in your 20s and had never been kissed.

you felt so out of place but you decided to stay.

while it was embarrassing to think of getting kissed by a stranger at this party, you kinda hoped it would happen with you and colby.

and when that thought popped into your head, you knew you were done for.

not to mention... why did you want to kiss colby all of a sudden??

it was colby's turn, and while originally he tried to say no, he was egged on by some other friends. and so he spun it.

the bottle must have spun for a year. that's how it felt.

and then finally it stopped on you.

you felt your breath hitch, and a bunch of different ppl cheered.

"hey, we don't have to kiss if you don't want to." colby stated.

you think about it. while you did technically want to kiss him, you also didn't.

what if he laughs at your kiss?

what if you suck at it?

what if… he's really good at it?

as you try to think of an answer, ppl around the island start chanting "kiss, kiss, kiss!"

you look around at everyone and finally back up at colby.

he shrugs, and light smile appears on his face. "it's your choice."

you take a deep breath, and tell him to kiss you.

he looks surprised for a split second, but then nods.

he leans in, cupping your face.

his lips press against yours, and honestly you kinda feel like you could black out.

the kiss is really soft and shockingly gentle.

you had heard so many stories of girls hooking up with him and you just expected him to be crazy out the gate.

but in this moment, he was so kind to you.

sadly the kiss ended.

…but let's just say it wouldn't be the last kiss you two had ;)

#colby brock #colby brock headcannon #colby brock fic #colby brock x reader #colby brock fluff #what you seek

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faith--in-the-future · 10 months

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AFHF23 RECAP

thought I'd share my day for everyone (and future me).

so the alarm was at 6am bc my mom had to drive me to the train station to catch the 1st train of the day towards bologna so I woke up early and packed my giant backpack for the week (which I had to buy new bc my old one broke literally the day before rip) and then got on the train! then after 1h i arrived and switched train to get to Florence where me and @riverswater walked around and saw the city before catching yet another train to go to the city where our accommodation was and leave the bags. then we got ANOTHER train from there back to Viareggio and from there then we anxiously waited for the bus with other girls who were also going to the festival. the bus was late but it did arrive and the bus driver must have been driving ppl there the whole day bc he told us where to get off before we even asked him anything sjsj after 15min we FINALLY arrived at the venue 🥳🥳 (it was like 6.30pm lol) and there I met up with @tanktop-lou (trusted louis show companion) and @dahliaaz who I met for the first time irl !!

inside the festival ppl were mostly spread out bc there were only a few people already pressed at the front of the stage (those that had entered first) everyone else was sitting around in the grass or in the areas under the pine trees with the fairy lights and the hammocks! and there were LONG lines at the merch stand and food stands ahsh so it was a pretty chill atmosphere and when I got there there was a dj set by abbie (I think) who played mostly rock and indie hits that everyone knew so everyone was dancing and singing along! obviously everyone got up for mister brightside (white ppl anthem! skjs)

after that the cribs played their set and they were really good !! I liked their songs from the afhf Playlist already and they had a really good energy live and their sound was great! and they kept thanking louis which was very nice! check them out if you haven't!

we also saw lottie and lucky in the terrace bc they were right above us and it was so weird to see them irl like what?? they exist?? crazy ahah but she's really pretty (and short!) and lucky is so cuteee! we also saw Isaac Michael (he IS hot tbh) Oli (!!!) Matt and Chris (booo) and all the girlfriends or wives

then we saw the blossoms set which I also enjoyed although I think I enjoyed their music more from the album version lol but the guy was really trying to get the crowd going so A for effort sjdj I Also liked his 70s hair and look! he kept thanking the wrong city but that's OK skgkj

then ( ~9.20pm ) there was another dj set and at this point everyone was just ready to see louis tbh zjgkh by now the crowd was bigger and getting tighter and ppl were mostly standing. also it had gotten dark which made the place and the lights even prettier

then finally and with only 15min of delay (!!) the band started to take their places and the intro started and then FINALLY the guy we'd all been waiting for took the stage woooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the build up in the intro is so good it really feels you with anticipation! great job steve!)

this year I hadn't been watching the lives for the months before the shows like last year bc it was all in north America so I didn't know the setlist by heart and I have to say it was fun to be surprised every time ! and to experience the live versions of these songs without having heard them many times before!! I really enjoyed that! plus he went a little crazy with the setlist so by the time he did Saturday so soon I was like ok lol ANYTHING can happen tonight skdjkd and it DID! Never in the world would I have expected PARADISE!! as soon as I recognized it I was like OH NO!! I should have listened to this more RIP! at least I knew the chorus skdjkd and it was really fun live !! really went well with the rest of the setlist which was FIRE🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 probably my fav of the shows of his I've been to! all the songs were so high energy and the crowd around me was as well ! we all jumped and screamed most of the night and it was just so fun! and as always the music was so good like all the added drums and guitars in live arrangements are amazing !! my fave is probably OOMS live it's just SO GOOD from the bass intro to the drums it's just the best! also I'm happy I got to hear 7 again bc it's SUCH a good cover and even tho not everyone knew it (😒 embarrassing) I sang along the whole time sksk and he was obviously great at it! I'm also super happy that he kept BTY bc the new version is fantastic!!!! I LOVE the way he sings the first lines so much!!!!!! and it's great to sing you fuck me up you kill me !!!! all together lol let's all scream about that toxic person<333333 bonding experience! then there were also the heartfelt moments like walls which is always so beautiful especially bc live it becomes such a significant moment of pride and love we all experience together and with louis ♡♡♡ I love him sm. also copy is SO good live like it's just so perfect for that setting and is still one of his best songs tbh

louis was so alive and hyped up the whole time he was having the time of his life !!! you could see how happy and proud he was :'))) and he went down in the front even before the last songs !! it was really fun bc everyone got super squished to the side and the front every time lol (I'm sad he didn't go back enough where I was closer but it's okay shsh) anyways it was just great to see him like that especially bc this time I was close enough to actually be able to see him with my eyes the whole time without having to watch the screens like last time in Milan so it felt more "live" in a way to me , more real I guess. (I'd love to be at the very front one day but I don't have the energy for that quest 😭)

it was extremely hot the whole time (louis would have been less hot if he wore shorts but ok!!!) and ngl the crowd was SMELLY by 10pm but it was so good it didn't even matter lol

the set ended at around 11.45 I think? and then we all sang along to we are the champions which was another prideful moment <3

and then me and rhei made our way back to our bus where unfortunately a bunch of dumb fans also were lol but in the end we made it home by 1am and finally went to bed at 2am with sore throats, music ringing in our ears and hearts full!

10/10 would do it all again!

#fan recap #afhf23 #:)

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machinedramon · 11 months

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ok I've kind of been able to sit with my thoughts a bit (and I've just woken up so forgive ant incomprehensibility) but I am begging people to stop turning the word "algorithm" into some bizarre boogeyman of websites.

tumblr already has an algorithm. despite every single post out there claiming to the contrary. there has ALWAYS been an algorithm. it just sucks. anyone who has ever seen the For You page, or the posts below a hard link to a specific post, or seen the "we think you'll like" posts on desktop, or even been into a tag will have seen the algorithm at work.

because websites like this literally cannot function without a sorting algorithm.

the problem is that the algorithm is simultaneously inattentive AND hyperactive. trying to find specific posts by their tags is a nightmare because the algorithm ALSO reads post content AND the OP's tags including your own. trying to use the "my art" tag as your own personal art tag on your personal blog that you reblog a ton of art with? get fucked, you're also seeing anything else that the OPs of those posts ALSO tagged with "my art", AND any posts that include the phrase "my art" within the post body.

it's also why u run the risk of posts that you haven't tagged as something ending up in tags. if you write a vent post abt how fans of x media are insufferable, and use the whole name or a fandom acronym of x media, it has the very real potential of winding up in the x media tag. because the algorithm reads post content for tag sorting.

if u click on an op of a post (or to a smaller degree, even look at the post), even to block the OP, the algorithm IMMEDIATELY assumes that This Is The Content You Want To See and floods your recommendations with potentially triggering content. I can't tell you how many hours of my life I've spent mass blocking nazi and proana and terf blogs because they Just Kept Showing Up in my For You page, before they added the ability to block the OP from the post itself. Because you had to interact with those blogs to block them, and the algorithm was too stupid to account for that.

all you ppl out there saying that There Is No Algorithm On Tumblr are flat out wrong and essentially spreading misinformation. this website could not function even as poorly as it does without one. the problem is, once again, the algorithm fucking sucks.

it probably hasn't been updated in any meaningful ways in at LEAST ten years. they probably keep adding clauses to it that allow certain things (such as spontaneously reading tags AND post content to allow for word filtering) but the fact that the core is still trying to run for a website from 2013 is the issue. it very much needs a complete overhaul in order for the site to remain usable.

hopefully as well, upgrading the algorithm to one that is actually made for a more modern website will improve the search function. perhaps tumblr can even figure out how to have both word filtering AND tag-only searching simultaneously.

an algorithm update is a good and necessary thing. the thing we should be demanding is making sure that they don't target specific words for censorship to make the website palatable for advertising.

algorithms are needed for websites with user-made content to run effectively. yall are just reactionaries.

#yall will hear the word algorithm and act like the entire world doesnt run on them #heres my algorithm rant i promised earlier this week i will not be reblogging any algorithm panic going forward

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eldritch-araneae · 2 years

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you know if windblade was in earthspark ( we haven't seen her yet tho hopefully she shows up later on ) what would she be like in your interpretation?

That's very interesting question! I also hope she will show up even tho the hope is tiny ahahah.

Ofc I can't really guess anything that didn't appear or was implied in canon yet, but I have ideas which how I would write her if I was writing Earthspark~

Ideas and spoilers under the cut!

I would hope she would be friends with Bee at least, because Cyberverse already have us this relationship and they had such great chemistry before they both got sidelined in S2 and on. Especially when one Earthspark's focus are emotions.

So I'm gonna assume that Windblade is kinda similar to her Cyberverse and a bit of IDW counterparts and she has telepathy.

So if we'll take a scenario when they aren't friends yet, I could imagine them bonding over the sense of loneliness bc of their positions.

Bumblebee is lonely because he's a spy and scout, plus he's struggles with sense of belonging (which why he always seek approval from higher ups but his interaction with Elita-1 in EP3 implies they just don't understand what "being a hero" means to him) and he was made fun of before ( also implied in EP3).

Windblade is lonely because of her position as Cityspeaker which means she will be placed onto unreachable pedestal (which was implied in Cyberverse I believe). Yes, people will respect her and look up to her, but forming personal relationships will be hard.

And if we take to account that Bumblebee is youngest among legacy bots, there is a big chance he might not even what who Cityspeaker is. He probably would just acting around her like with any other person and this make her relieved and relaxed and and that how their friendship would form.

If we will take a scenario where they know each other, this could go into few different directions.

Ofc one where they just know each other and that it, kinda sad bc I want to what Cyberverse did, but better and deeper.

Another one they are friends but this gonna involve a lot of drama!

You know how GHOST is shady and and Optimus does anything to keep Bumblebee away from them. Logically he probably does it to have a spy outside of GHOST influence ( and probably same goes to Wheeljack) and then EP10 also implies that another reason Op wants Bee to stay hidden is to form a real human-cybertronian alliance with him in charge.

But what if there is a third reason? What if GHOST have Windblade who is kept in stasis because they know about telepathy and want to use her in their plans, and potentially they can use Bumblebee as leverage against her?

Which also adds more to Optimus' turmoil because he knows, but there is nothing he can do about it.

(Side Note: the more I'm thinking about the whole GHOST situation, the more I realize that some ppl in fandom just don't get the full scope of this.

Many just immediately side with Megatron without looking into nuance of the situation, mostly bc IDW kinda messed up (tho maybe it started earlier? TFA had seeds for it, and whatever was happening in Bayverse too) with faction characterization. Now a lot of fans see Megatron is revolutionary and deceptions were oppressed by government, while Autobots represent this government... I personally have TON of issues with this entire idea ( esp when SG exist) and that's the main reason why I didn't read comics, but I wont got into this here, esp considering how controversial my opinion is.

Anyway, looking at grand scope of thing you can see the difference between two leaders.

Megatron cares for his people, while his care about humans and Earth only extends to Dot and her family and that's it. Nothing stops him from starting the shit again and probably the only reason what stops him is Dot. Which btw I like a lot and wanna see where this go ahahah.

While Optimus does not only cares about his people, but humans and Earth too and this is why he ended in this situation in first place! He doesn't want a destruction of another sentient species and that why he grabs any opportunity to avoid it even if it mean he has to work with shady ppl that will probably backstab him.

Which btw, Dot understood very well in EP5 and she found a common ground with Optimus here, but some ppl choose to ignore it ofc.

This is why its important to him that Bee ( and probably Wheeljack?) stay out of GHOST eyes, bc his own hands are fucking tied.

Meanwhile rough Decepticons are causing shit simply bc they don't care about humans. Because if Autobots can stay hidden, they could do that too and I'm pretty sure Megatron would supply them with energon just like Optimus supply his bots ( bc cmon I don't think Bee could go a least 15 years without taking energon ahah).

But because there is a huge rift between cons and Megatron this not gonna happen. Tho I wonder if there are cons that followed Megatron into this? Maybe even cons with GHOST badges? This would be interesting to see~ Maybe there is Thundercracker out there, hiding like Bee and writing movie scripts? And something tells me we will more cassettes in wild too.

The only thing is unclear to me is why would Op destroy the ground bridge? Because this clashes with what I said above? Was is a poor panicky decision? Or there is more to is and things, again, isn't that simple as everyone thinks? Like maybe Megatron was the one who destroyed it and Op took the blame because humans would be nicer to him? Time will tell.)

Okay I got really distracted, but I wanted to talk about this as well, so I apologies.

Anyway, another idea that Windblade might show up later by Malto's door just like Arcee did and maybe she would stay and teach terrans as well since she's a flier and Twitch as also a flier and sword user!

And they fact I think Windblade could teach terrans some combat, because Bee's is more focused on scouting stuff and maybe shooting, while Windy could teach them melee combat ~

And maybe she help Bee to open up more and lower his defenses? Maybe! That's all ideas a have for now))

#tfe spoilers #transformers earthspark spoilers #earthspark spoilers #sorry for distraction dbfgf #i just get peeved sometimes when ppl demanding complex and grey stories but end up sticking to black and white thinking anyway fgfghg

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princessdreamie · 10 months

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DBH part 6

Character references: Na: Naomi (daughter of Kai & Julie), Bu: Bully (son of Nicole and Clayton), N: Nicole, Ct: Clayton, St: Stanley (child psychologist), Co: Cornelia (St’s assistant & Mitchell’s gf), C: Chance, E: Eric, S: Selena, Se: Seth (son of Eric & Selena), Lo: Loid (Bully’s minion/self-proclaimed bestie), Fa: Fabian (one of C’s friends & an actor from Na’s favorite show), Tt: Tigger (N's tiger bot,; I know the 2nd t doesn't make sense but I don't think I am going to change it anytime soon heh), Ll: Lolly (Ferguson family's tiger bot. that's only her nickname tho), Br: Chatty/Bratty (N's Daughter, but bratty fits her wax better if you ask me lol)

I highlighted the 2 names since there aren’t many colors I can choose from lol. So that’s why I picked the current most important ones

Fa was stunned for a moment while C kept staring at her. Br didn't want to stay any longer and excused herself.

C asked his friend what he told her. He then gave a quick summary. After finishing the recap, the popular actor asked the Ferguson boy what was wrong in return. C advised him to keep his distance from Br. She had a record of being a diva and always looking for ppl to gossip about. Fa was aware of all of it. But he didn't see anything wrong with her questions.

Later that day

C came back home after he came back from the park. Fa challenged him to a basketball game. The playground didn't have many older kids around so they just played 1v1. Just a friendly game, with no point score, that was C's condition. He likes to play to win but not if he is out of school. As he entered through the door he met his dad in the hall, talking to someone on the phone. E noticed him arriving and gave him a small nod as a greeting. The boy didn't want to disturb him any longer so he went upstairs to see after his brother. B4 he opened the door to Se's bedroom, he could hear the tv blasting from his baby bro's room. He peeked inside the room and saw Se jumping up and down while cheering on the characters on screen. C had to hold in his laughter after seeing this spectacle.

He was glad that Se was finally interested in other stuff than jokes that don't land. He closed the door behind him and headed forwards to his own room until he realized that he hasn't seen Ll for a while. C asked some of their house staff, but they haven't seen her either. That struck him as odd. Ll would be with his dad. She could have been hiding, she loved to jump on E and scare him a bit. Still, he looked for her on his mobile watch to track her down. Her tiger icon leads him to the washroom. That was one of those places she liked the most, aside from his dad's shoulder. She liked the steamy air and warm laundry inside. So C thought that she just wanted to relax. Nevertheless, he went into the big room and found her a few minutes after.

She lay under some nightgowns, which were still warm from the dryer. Her little fuzzy tail swung back and forth, indicating her sour mood. He picked her up by her scruff and looked right at her in her face. Her feelings were very obvious. Her eyes squinting back at him and her tiny nose was wiggling just as fast as her tail. She was too cute and adorable that way, in his opinion. She couldn't even scare a fly away with her face like that. C asked the tiger bot what she was mad about. Ll didn't want to tell him at the beginning but he eventually got her to talk.

And she TALKED. She was rambling on and on about how Se has been ignoring her bc of this 'stupid cartoon'. Saying that he didn't even want to play with her after lunch. C carefully listened to her rant. Even if it was hard to catch on to everything she was complaining. She was a fast talker when she gets mad/excited. When she was finally done, C comforted her and laid her in his lab to pet her. C talks to her until she felt better. The 2 went back to Se's room, but this time he knocked on the door. The tv was turned off and the little boy opened the door slightly. C asked if he could come inside. After they sat down on his bed C explained to his brother, that Ll felt neglected and the other things he could understand from what his 'sister' told him earlier. Se felt bad saying that he didn't want her to feel excluded. The young boy asked the tiger bot why she hadn't told him instead. After some back and forth the 2 younger kids finally made up.

Back at the n & ct household

Br came back from her shopping spree and met her parents in her bedroom. Br asked what they were doing in her bedroom as she put all her stuff on top of her cabinet.

Her parents eyed each other, which made the teenage girl suspicious. They went on to explain that they need to send bu aboard for something. At first, Br believed it was about a trip to some social event. But Ct broke the news that his son will be under observation. Br was shocked. She had so many questions if he was hurt or sick. But her mom just couldn't bear to look into her eye. Her dad pulled out his phone and played a video.

#altenative #alternative ending #better ending #billionaire heiress #chance #dbh #divorced billionaire heiress #eric #eric ferguson #ferguson

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djryefaith87 · 1 year

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Story Time

This is for my readers of course, I was editing from 12pm-4:45pm. I haven't finished no where near it but I got a phone call from my dad around 2-3pm. In this conversation much like all of his calls beginning is good the turn comes in the middle and in the end the same hostility and frustration. There's nothing more piss poor than someone coming into your peace and destroying it for no other reason of their reality not being there in peace. The talks went from hating John Cena to him feeling like a piece of shit not coming to my uncle funeral. Then saying I was fucked up on how I went about my aunts funeral. You can't make this up, he proceeds to tell me that my uncles baby mother was saying I won't go to him and him encouraging it "yeah he's not gonna come up to me" did u tell her why? No u told her I was in my own world u didn't tell her that you curse me out the night before gypsy passed away. He proceeds to tell me family didn't say anything about me yet I have a family member saying other wise. This is why I don't like to be around anyone. Especially family they will always find something wrong with what you do in life instead of striving you for greatness. I yet again give this man the benefit of the doubt and answer his call. And he fumbles yet again. I m not reminded more of enough of his lack of memory. But the continue of excuses not seeing me is ridiculous and it's to the point I don't not care anymore and I leave it in God's hands.

So what's with the glasses? I asked God after being so frustrated and prayed and asked for a blessing. Now I was really hoping to see in people that I know. When I went down and picked up my dinner I came back and these glasses were just laying on the 2nd floor along with many others for free take. On new years eve I was looking for these type of 2023 sun glasses all over but only had $2 on me and no one wanted to budge and give me a pair cause they were selling it for $5. I gave my $2 away to 2 women who was sitting in the rain with close to nothing on and just kept it moving. Now coming back from getting my dinner I get the glasses for a God reminder cause that's how I see it.

I got the Bible verse underneath and I proceeded to state my peace with my father in the process. But it was in God reminding me of these sunglasses that 2023 is about me. People show you who they are believe them and just leave it as that even if it's family. It's tough I don't wanna live this way but my parents really just don't give me much of a choice with not seeing much of their actions.

It's brutal it's cruel I live with it but it so not healthy. This month I m suppose to get call to go back to the respite center. Those ppl can't call me soon enough. I put out the good because I deal with so much bad and evil and I constantly just try to stay positive. You know it's real when you ask God to remove you or take you because it's the only way they will both wake up or will they? So I ll do my best to remove that way I won't be seen anymore. This pain is too much this shit hurts way too much and I don't wanna deal with it anymore. I didn't bring myself in this world they did the sin of love and brought a child into the world and have made me feel nothing but pain and resentment as an adult and I am exhausted.

P.S I still wonder if God was sending myself a message when my god father agree to leave this world September 7th a day before my father's birthday. I think about that one alot. 🙏

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greensaplinggrace · 3 years

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honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

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ambivalent-anarchy · 4 years

Text

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

---------------------------------------

Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years

Text

Roomie/Bro

So I got a roommate....well I haven't moved in yet.

um...idk if I should tell them im not used to sharing my personal space with others outside of my family.

Other than university dorms, I thought I would bee making enough after college to live alone. But yea, shit happens.

But what if they ask why my shorts look so lumpy if I get that craving to wear a diaper again on my period?

Or if they hear me talking to myself to try and calm me down while spooning and caressing my head and my chest?

There's a lot of self therapy I had to do to get through living with my mom and my grandma.

And yea, I still do them cause it made me feel safe to be alone, finally, at those times to emotionally release any pent up frustrations without someone telling me to shut up or go be quiet. It was annoying at how these ladies never truly knew how much pain and suffering I was in on the inside and shut off my voice to keep peace for them.

But what was love to them, if being me meant bringing my walls down only to get hurt, and me being insane and emotionally chaotic and unresolved...was some magic secret I kept hidden at how angry I would get.

I think I'll keep myself at a distance from my roommate even though we already seem to have so much in common gender wise and interests in history, music, cooking, and gaming. I don't want it to get weird if my separation anxiety kicks in so heavy from my parents and I start to freak out in front of them.

I wonder will they judge me too or actually reassure me that they're not gonna reject me for being different.

I finally got in touch with a therapist program to help pay for my visits for free, so we'll see how it goes. Also, he/they seemed very nice at understanding my trauma I've experienced with my parents as they went through emotional abuse before too from parents/family.

Im scared, but its a good kind of scared. Being away from mom and dad for too long makes me homesick, but I'll also miss my room on the 3rd floor near the attic.

Im glad my dad approved of it too, at 1st he said I didn't need to roommate and that I should just look for an apartment alone. But pontiac has noooooooooooooooooooo and i mean none available to even rent in, not even Auburn Hills that I could have afforded.

So I would have been stuck to check again for next year. Cause even the waitlists they had were already full. Thats bad when there's so many more ppl looking for a home or apt to rent and cant afford the higher ones at 900 or 1,000. Plus not many available either. Im pretty sure tenants are just staying and renewing their leases cause there's no where else available unless you go alllllll the way to Detroit or maybe Southfield.

Why the hell was it so easy to find apartments and low income housing in Grand Rapids, with a high ass real estate housing market, but in poor ass pontiac aint worth finding shit.

No way in hell was I finna just wait till January. I need an out asap before Thor and Thunder reunite my mother's hand.

Holidays are coming up and everyone in the house gets anxious and more irritable around this time of year....especially my father will be too because of his 1st christmas and thanksgiving without his mom.

I would be crying too, no matter what beef we had.

But he's a big guy, likes to hold in his pain, not even acknowledge it, like he's some cosmic robot.

You cant solve everything on your own Dad. Its ok to admit that you're hurt. You're allowed to feel, you're allowed to be in pain, you're supposed to be sad. Its ok to be sad and feel alone sometimes. Cause I feel it too. That need to not be alone this time of year, but because of a different reason.....Jay's not here and sure as hell wasn't last year Christmas either, no halloween, no happy birthday.....nothing. Not until mid-January with the most dickass response to me pouring my heart out to them 3 months before that.

Cliche. I was better off leaving and not saying anything. Cause she didn't care. And it showed. Who responds to somebody that left them, 3 months ago by saying "Did you send these long ass messages?"

That was the most irresponsible, inconsiderate, inhumane bullshit I ever heard. I wanted to knock their teeth out till bloody mary. Thats how pissed off I was at the lack of care and consideration for my feelings and even to what I had to say. And i said a lot of deep shit from my fucking heart, and this bitch didn't give a fuck. Dry ass, fake ass friend, fake ass love. She didn't care, cause it showed and still does...

Thats why I blocked her right after she sent that bullshitty ass text. And I was already miserable a few days before that text, because I kept dreaming about her and crying and cussing and yelling and screaming because I was so in love with her and yet i was in so much pain for being rejected and leaving her alone. Imissed her a whole hell of a lot more than how much she missed me.

And it showed because she's a dick, now a changed man, with a small dick. Who still acts like an even bigger dick to match the small dick they already had as a packer in their motherfucking jeans for desperate attention.

Yea Im glad im moving out, making a new friend, and not alone on the holidays this year. And im finally getting over that girl, that traitor. Im leaving him alone and moving on with my life, so i can be happy and stop being mad after a year of being angry at her ,her fiancé, my mom, my family, and God himself too.

I need a break and Jesus knows.

Better yet a vacation. Away from hell in Michigan.

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the-delightfullmess · 5 years

Text

1. Do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

2. How do you take your coffee/tea?

3. Are you self-conscious of your smile?

4. What artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

5. What's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations

6. Is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

7. What are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

8. What's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

9. Sunrise or sunset?

10. Tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

11. What is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

12. What's your fave pastry?

13. Think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

14. Which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

15. What color do you wear the most?

16. What's the last book you remember really, really loving?

14. Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

15. When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

16. Do you trust your instincts a lot?

17. Do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

18. What's an odd thing you collect?

19. What are your favorite memes of the year so far?

20.Who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

21. Do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

22. Is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

23. What would your ideal flower crown look like?

24. What's your favorite kind of tea?

25. What are some of your worst habits?

26. What's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

27. Describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

28. Are/were you good in school?

29. What's some of your favorite album art?

30. Do you like concept albums? which ones?

31. Are you close to your parents?

32. Talk about your one of you favorite cities.

33. What's the hairstyle you wear the most?

34. When's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

35. list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

36. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them?

37. What is one thing you regret having done or not done in your life?

38. Which parent do you identify with the most?

39. What do you think you cook or bake the best?

40. If you could change your first name what would it be?

41. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard?

42. How about the sweetest song?

43. If you could buy one material thing, and money was not an issue, what would it be?

44. What’s the best way to comfort you when you’re having a really terrible day?

45. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before?

46. Would you ever adopt a child?

47. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try?

48. What is the most important material possession you have and why?

49. What is the most important memory you have and why?

50. When was the last time you cried?

51. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did?

52. Top 3 favorite songs at the moment?

53. What are you wearing right now?

54. Favorite season?

55. Left handed or right handed?

56. Favorite thing you like about yourself?

57. Favorite TV show at the moment?

58. What are some of your pet peeves?

59. Favorite and least favorite subjects in school?

60. Plans for the future?

61. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

62. What celebrity do you look up to?

63. Who/what makes you smile regardless?

64. Favorite song lyrics?

65. Favorite movie?

66. What is the worst thing someone could do to you?

67. What pets do you have/want to have?

68. Describe your day today?

69. Night owl or morning bird?

70. Favorite musical artist?

71. How old are you?

72. Where are you from?

73. What are a few things on your bucket list?

74. Do you have/want any tattoos?

75. Do you have/want any piercings?

76. What do you hate most about yourself?

77. What does your last text message say?

78. What would you name your future daughter/son?

79. What are you listening to right now?

80. What is the last book you read?

81. Favorite food?

82. Cats or dogs?

83. Introverted or extroverted?

84. What is your zodiac sign?

85. Lucky number?

86. Gender?

87. What’s the last thing you watched on Netflix?

88. If you could, what celebrity would you want to meet?

89. Last concert you went to?

90. What do you think of me/my tumblr account?

91. Favorite holiday?

92. Favorite animal?

93. TV you love that’s underrated?

94. What’s your relationship status?

95. What do you want to be/do when you grow up?

96. What would you do if you won the lottery?

97. Most nostalgic game?

98. Have you ever been in love? Or thought you were in love? What was it like?

99. What’s the name of your childhood best friend? Do you guys still talk?

100. Your opinion on marriage?

101. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you travel?

102. What’s something you enjoy doing but don’t tell many people because you feel like they’d judge you?

103. Favorite outdoor activity?

104. A song that makes you want to dance

105. A song to drive to

106. A song that you remember from your childhood

107. One of your favourite 80s songs

108. A song that breaks your heart

109. A song that you would love played at your wedding

120. What kind of music do you listen to?

121. Have you ever been cheated on?

122. If you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

123. What was the last photo you took of?

124. Something most people don’t know about you.

125. Do you believe in soul mates?

126. Your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

127. Guilty pressures?

128. Where did you grow up, what was it like?

129. Do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

130. Have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

131. Top 5 favorite movies.

132. What is the best and worst part of your personality?

133. Would you rather go without your phone or music?

134. Do you believe in god?

135. What’s something that offends you?

136. When do you feel the most confident?

137. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

138. What is the first thing you notice about a person?

139. what makes you laugh?

140. What was your upcoming like?

141. What’s your love language?

142. Are you usually early or late?

143. Turn ons?

144. Turn offs?

145. Are you more dominant or submissive?

146. Quiet or loud?

147. Reserved or vulgar?

148. Secret kinks?

149. Deepest secret?

150. Spicy, Salty, or Sweet?

151. Free number, ask something not listed

152. Legalizing weed

153. Heaven & Hell

154. Gun control

155. Climate change

156. Favourite author

157. Favourite poet

158. What movie do you watch to relax?

159. What movie calms you ?

160. Any favorite documentary?

169.A movie that made you feel empty

170. A movie that made you cry

171. A movie that surprised you

172. A song that made you feel empty

173. When was the last time you feel like you cried a life time

174. Favorite philosopher

175. Philosophy in life

176. A confession

177. things that upset me

178. What i find attractive in other ppl

179. Favourite band(s)

180.Someone i miss

181. things that annoy me easily

182. Something i am talented at

183. Numbers of kids i want

184. Names i love

185. My idea of perfect date

186. A culture you like

187. Favourite illustator

188. Favourite photographer

189. Favorite Blogger

190. Favourite blog

191.A piece of clothe you wear a lot ? and why ?

193. Insecurities

194. Mental health

195. Tell me a hardship you have been through

196. What Impression Do You Think You Give When You First Meet Someone

197. What Impression Do You Try To Give When You First Meet Someone

198. future / life goals

199. something that is constantly on your mind or worrying you

200. Ask anything

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golbrocklovely · 20 days

Text

since this anon kinda gets into some bridgerton spoilers, i'm gonna put it behind a keep reading so in case you haven't seen it yet, nothing is spoiled for yall :)

i'm gonna make a whole post on my feelings for part one bc omg i have so many, but i'll go into some detail about how i feel now.

BOOK SPOILERS ARE IN HERE (so if you don't want to know anything at all about this season/book, turn back now)

i was interested to see how things played out with eloise and pen strictly bc in the books, since LW has been doing it for so long, eloise isn't all that upset at finding out about pen being her.

but in the show, i was curious to see how they would make el and cressida work. and i think it sort of works. but my whole thing is, i can't stand c. like i get why she acts the way she does, but compare her to pen who is basically in the same situation.

pen also comes from a family that is mean to her and doesn't treat her well. she is also in competition with the ladies of the ton (and not only them but her own sisters at one point) to find a man, and yet she isn't mean. she doesn't pick on others to make herself feel bigger. her and c are basically one in the same, but the difference is that pen is internal with her negativity while c boasts herself as something more while simultaneously not feeling like she measures up.

this obviously brings into the question LW, but i think in a way pen isn't really saying anything the ton isn't already thinking. she's just making it widely known. in a way, she's the gossiper for all ppl - the rich and poor. so while yes, she can be mean in the LW columns, she's really only saying what everyone was saying to her and around her. and even then, she's also bringing herself down by reporting on herself and her family, which puts her in even more negative withstanding.

i kinda wish they would have kept c mean just for the sake of being mean, not have the audience try and pity her in a way. i think it would have been more entertaining if she was just rude bc she was never taught to be nice, rather than it being a desperate ploy to get a man before everyone else while being deeply insecure. idk. in my own personal experience, while you have bullies that are bullied themselves, which is why they act the way they do, some ppl are just destined to be dicks lol

and pen will definitely reveal herself as LW to colin, and probably her family and the bridgerton family. but i don't see it being shared with the rest of the ton only bc that kinda defeats the purpose of the show. in the books, there is the whole carriage scene, but then she continues being LW even tho colin thought they both agreed to her stopping it then and there. but regardless of that (since that won't work in the show), i think she'll reveal it right before they get married, and some form of drama will occur.

also.. and don't take my word for this since it hasn't been confirmed or anything, but i heard there's gonna be another carriage scene so……… maybe we'll get that from the books after all lol

(plus the mirror scene... plus an apparent montage of them fucking so............... i'm sat and ready)

as for what's gonna happen in part two, i have seen some spoilers so i won't say them since i highly doubt you want to be spoiled, but from the little preview they did show (plus some bts i've seen that has been going around twitter from some news network that went on the set to film them do part 2) i think like the books c is gonna confess to being LW and that's what makes pen pass out. and then she's gonna try to counter c with her own LW column calling her out, and then she'll get caught by colin. i think a variation of that is gonna play out.

i'm just hoping that by the end her and eloise are friends again. bc their scenes in this first half… i literally cried twice. especially at the "would you like to come up" part. it just hits a bit close to home in a way for me.

i just can't wait for what's gonna happen. like i need this second half NOW.

#ask #personal #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers

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roominthecastle · 7 years

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Everyone is making a house call to Grissom, where we're y'all when Sara was here lol? And now noone is there to make him soup or shave him apparently :(( *no but srsly, why is everyone sick this episode? Was there some kind of an epidemy on set or sth? *It's Sara calling right? His face just light up)) I'm glad they stay in touch *wait, are those Mythbusters?? Too many nights those crazy dudes kept me company. Fun times... *Where's Sophia? I feel like I haven't seen her in a while... *Warrick 😿

This ep is a goldmine for domestic!Grissom!! cooking, wandering around in pjs and robe, taking care of his dog, and desperately trying but failing to escape visitors & adventures like some reincarnation of Bilbo Baggins.

I guess if a show is on air long enough, it’s almost inevitable to have an episode where the flu or a cold - or a musical event - strikes our faves. I tend to enjoy those eps and this one is no exception. Yes, your eyes weren’t deceiving you, those guest nerds in the lab were Adam and Jamie (CSI has on- and off-screen ties to the Discovery Channel), and oh YES that’s def Sara calling at the end. It’s enough to look at Griss stretch out on the couch after he answers the phone. I think if you lean close, you can hear him purring ;)))) And I kept thinking about it, but rn I honestly cannot recall what happens to Sofia. I think she just… idk… drops out of the story at some point?? and Warrick, yeah… now his departure is something else, like

9x01. How can I even… I AM NOT OKAY!!! Jesus I can’t even formulate anything… They’re all so close… Family… How can I ever be fine after seeing Grissom’s face?? When he just crumbled… Losing someone after allowing them to become that close, I don’t know how to… I’m not ok, with any of this… Glad Sara is there (even more beautiful than before, that’s just not fair) God I’m such a mess. I didn’t even like him all that much but Nicky loved him, and I can’t see him cry! And Gris… JC

What you said, anon. I’m not familiar w/ the specifics of the off-screen events that forced the writers to come up w/ an exit for Warrick/GD, but boy did they manage to make it CRUEL and PAINFUL. but also meaningful, imo. Warrick once called Grissom a robot for never emoting like a “normal” human being, and here we have this “robot” saying the L word out loud and openly breaking down and literally clinging to him in an entirely irrational and desperately emotional, futile human act to keep him alive… yeah, I’m w/ you 1000%: I AM NOT OKAY!!!

9x02. “who are we talking about right now?” A-a-and there is my Sara from first few seasons! God I love that woman. So brave, and strong, standing up for what she believes in, unwilling to talk riddles and play mind games. Just say it straight to her. Kind of understand Grissom too though… This whole thing is so damn sad… Oh and that pillow talk was so tender and quiet, so them…

They’ve been doing this thing ever since they started dating - whenever one makes an observation or drops a remark about a victim or a scene they happen to process, the other is like “okay, is that supposed to be about us?” and it’s never 100% clear. Work and private stuff has been bleeding together w/ them for a while and it is finally starting to make waves in a way that not even Grissom can remain immune to it.

9x05. Why does this show insists on fucking me up this season??! I can’t see them suffer anymore! He’s like a fish out of the water the whole episode… I’m a bit conflicted though. Sara left because she couldn’t take that job anymore and I totally get it, but did she expect him to just follow her? I mean it just doesn’t seem like him at all. Yes he belongs by her side but she moves around, he should have just upended his whole life, without any kind of plan? Perhaps I need to sleep on it tho…

905 is like exhibit A of why I love Lady Heather episodes - she cuts through Griss like no other, and this time there’s a clear overlap btw case and private life. LH’s sugarcoat-free remarks are relevant to both, helping Grissom unpack (or more like rip open) some of his own private mess and climb off the fence he’s been sitting on. I do understand your conflict, I was the same way at first, but then I came to the same conclusion you did below:

9x08. You damn right it’s time to up the ante! This girl is the right girl!! Ugh… 9x09. If Sara was here, she’d help you with that last word… Just saying… *omg is he for real? (I know he is, I’m just really emotional omg) *fly-fishing) his mind is already off of work)) he has been quite distracted lately though. This whole thing is a long time coming. Perhaps all he needed was that push from Sara… *man I love Bill Irwin! Which reminds me, have you watched Legion this year?

(After reading the summary, Legion instantly went on my watchlist, anon, but I haven’t seen it yet.)

Exactly, it’s been a long time coming and that’s why I think Sara was not out of line with her hope - or maybe even reasonable expectation? - that he’d start a brand new chapter with her away from the lab. Most of this relationship happens off-screen, so I can only offer guesswork, but we can find some telltale breadcrumbs leading up to these final episodes.

Grissom already starts displaying burnout signs in S7 + he starts dropping comments about how ppl no longer really need him in the lab anymore. He is not bitter, mind you, he is genuinely proud of the team he’s trained/mentored, but this also means that he becomes - as he tells Warrick - a teacher w/o students who feels increasingly aimless, unfulfilled and even drained after having spent 25+ years wading through the (literal and figurative) cesspools of humanity. I think the combination of developing burnout and unfulfillment is why he grabs at the opportunity to leave for a month and teach a seminar as far away from Vegas as possible, and I don’t think it goes unnoticed by Sara. It is never said out loud (naturally), but she seemed to understand why he just up and left the same way Griss understood why she needed to leave in S8 despite each feeling miserable w/o the other. It’s a constant back-and-forth btw them, a drifting away then back again then away again, as they work through their individual baggage, and this “double pendulum” doesn’t stop until the very last episode of the show.

Uprooting one’s life is a huge ask, esp for someone like Grissom, but in this specific case I think it was a natural progression and would have happened anyway. Sara did not force him out of a pleasant, fulfilling life. He needed - wanted - to move on, he knew it was time, he just needed one more little push, like you said. Then he jumped in w/ both feet

and:

9x10. Oh Lord omfg this is… I… This is like a cinematic experience or something… Oh God his face the very moment he first saw her! Oh my sweet awkward nerdy boy, his eyes!! And that sigh! The smile! And those needy arms!! And Sara omg I just can’t… Yes that’s right just grab her and kiss her, talking’s overrated anyway!! OMG I saw the gifs but I didn’t realize how this scene will be… will make me feel… It’s just so… I’ll get back to you when I’m a bit more coherent, please stand by

#anonymous #csirw #musings

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