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#altenative
xmatt19921x · 1 year
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Let’s have a little introduction, firstly welcome to my blog. Hello my name is Matthew, I’m from the UK and I’m 30 years old. I’m a massive fan of horror and anime. I love my video games and into my sports also. When I’m bored I like to cover my body with tattoos. I’m still not over my emo phase and probably sing every my chemical romance song to you. Well if you wish to get to know me. Please feel free to message me or even send me an anon message ❤️
Please do not be weird or send me inappropriate/nasty stuff. I will not deal with any negativity or immaturity. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!
Also please find my other links below but please 18+ only and no minors! 🔞
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wonyttoos · 9 months
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ㅤㅤ 4.4ㅤㅤ𓊆 ◞ᩍ◟ 𓊇 . @tookio & @menhpy ꪔ̤̮
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n0sf4atu · 7 months
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I hate stupid men 🪰
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poisonnightmares · 1 year
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Vic_Sin
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valley-in-sin · 6 months
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🍁🍂
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iamlisteningto · 7 months
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Eartheater’s Powders
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themori-witch · 1 year
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I caved in. I did my wash day routine and even managed some eyeliner so that I don't startle the locals. I am now exhausted.
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mylandlockedblues · 1 year
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There are few artists as capable of describing obscure emotions as Elliott Smith. A perfect example is his song "I Didn't Understand," the haunting closer to XO. It is stripped completely bare, with only his harmonized vocals drifting through the melody. This suits the song well--he sings "there's nothing here that you'll miss/ I can guarantee you this/ is a cloud of smoke/ trying to occupy space/ what a fucking joke," his words wrapped up in a fog of other notes and almost lost. The song is something like an inner monologue, clouded by regret and sadness, as Elliott reflects on a relationship he left behind. He feels as though he is barely real, like merely "trying to occupy space" is a demand so great and unachievable that he has no right to ask for it. Believing himself to be so worthless, he could not fathom what another human being could want from him except to use and discard him. This was what he didn't understand: that somebody might actually love him. So instead of loving this person back, he escaped before he could be left. It is a chilling end to the album--there is a sense that even as Elliott lays out all that he knows now, he still does not believe that he can be saved, and he is ultimately resigned to his self-isolation.
I think people throw around the adage that you can't love someone until you love yourself so often that it is almost seems cheapened--that is, until you are too deeply entrenched in this cycle to escape. When someone has been starved of love, their hunger spreads like a disease: unloving parents raise unloved children, and these children grow up unable to say quite what it is that they lack. Love can only be understood through experience, otherwise it seems like an empty promise, a lie they tell you just to get you to stick around.
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mandyatthedisco · 1 year
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The Ride (2016) & The Balcony (2014) by the lovely band called Catfish and the Bottlemen.
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psycholyrix · 1 year
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redraw
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xmatt19921x · 11 months
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Hi everyone
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xmassacrexmelx · 7 months
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Let me introduce myself, I'm Ms. Monster! 🫶
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princessdreamie · 9 months
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DBH 5
Character references: Na: Naomi (daughter of Kai & Julie), Bu: Bully (son of Nicole and Clayton), N: Nicole, Ct: Clayton, St: Stanley (child psychologist), Co: Cornelia (St's assistant & Mitchell's gf), C: Chance, E: Eric, S. Selena, Se: Seth (son of Eric & Selena), Lo: Loid (Bully's minion/self-proclaimed bestie), Fa: Fabian (one of C's friends & an actor from Na's favorite show)
I highlighted the first 2 names since there aren't many colors I can choose from lol. So that's why i picked the current most important ones
Jump to a few days after
St still came, even If N was not happy about it, and the boy was not really cooperating. Co, who came with her boss, tried her best to stay professional but the boy just won't listen. Ct & n stand on 5he sidelines and watch all of it unfold. Needless to say, both of them were not happy with his behavior. After a while, Bu gave in and did the tests. And his answers and solutions to his questions and riddles made the other guy very disturbed. Ct & n heard everything and were just as worried.
After Bu completed everything, St let him go and talked with his parents in private. Co had the unpleasant duty to watch the Boy, but she couldn't complain about it now. St tells them that Bu wasn't just troublesome but actually a danger to ppl around him. N tried to play it down, saying that he just needs more time to learn. But Ct cuts her off and tells her to let him talk. He keeps talking about how he never thought of his family's well-being, like Na, as well as how their parenting barely makes his behavior better. The scolding is on but the constant positivity that he gets from his sister and Mom blindsided his actions and is not what he needed.
Ct understood but they were out of options. Since their last meeting with the director they were sure that by would not be welcomed in school, he might not be taken seriously. The only kid that would stay with him was Lo. And after recent events, related not only to the kids, where they had the suspicion that one of N's and Ct's employees, Lo's dad, had started trouble and they believed he had something to do with the smuggling incident.
After St finished his report to them, he and Co left their house and drove off. Ct tied to calm his wife down but N wanted to be left alone and take some time to think. Bu was already in his room since he couldn't be bothered. As soon as the boy started playing with some of his video games he got a call from Lo as he gets his usual updates at their school. But all he gets to hear is that no one stayed for too long at the same spot when they notice his minion. Even if he tries to hide the boy eventually gets caught. No one wanted anything to do with him after they heard what these 2 did to Na. Even kids from other grades would rather stay inside than be around him. Lo whines about how they hate them now but Bu tells him to stop crying and try something else if he can't spy like that anymore.
In the Ferguson mansion
C and Se play in the living room while S & Na watch her favorite show. Na invited C & Se to watch the show too, but Se got clingy forwards to his big bro, fearing that C might get too close to his girl cousin and not give him enough attention. S was supposed to go to the police that day but she didn't want to leave the kids alone. Last night some hooligans trashed the front of her bar and she needed to give out a report. E assured his wife that he will do it for her and got already a cleaning troupe arranged to take care of the mess after the police finished their inspection. The show Na likes to watch daily was a fantasy/adventure cartoon. The main casts looked exactly like their real live versions. That's why she and the others recognized him at her party. Today's episode was about the Female lead's former best friend/ally getting her trapped in their hideout while her group of friends try to find the place they locked her in.
S was not really understanding the plot so Na tries to explain to her what the story was about from start to finish. S found it adorable how a show could rile her up to that amount when she barely gets excited about anything else than meeting her friends and C.
Speaking of C. The teenager told his brother that he will come right back bc he got a message from one of his buddies from school. Apparently, that one friend needed one of his notes to help him study. C would sometimes give out some notes about certain test subjects in case a student is struggling. While Se waits for him to come back, he eavesdrops on the TV. And while he hated to admit it, the show got him intrigued.
After looking around to be sure no one saw him, he sneaked up to the sofa and peeked around the corner to see what was happening. From what he could see, the party found the FML and was about to escape. But bad guys ambushed them near the exit. The 2 groups fought each other to the point where Na and Se were at the edge of their seats. Until Fa's character fights their former ally, questioning how she could betray them like that. But the woman just laughed and ignored his question altogether while she dominated him in the fight. Luckily for him, Fa's character was saved by his girlfriend. Both of them fought her off. The fight ended with the main cast winning and finally getting away from this place. Na was jumping with glee at the ending, as was Se. The little girl held her moment of joy to look at her cousin in confusion. S saw her son watching the show with them but wouldn't say anything, not to embarrass him. C chuckled at the sight as well. He came back not too long ago and watched them from afar. C wanted his brother and girl cousin to get along so he thought that this wouldn't be a bad idea to let the little boy watch the show. Se denied any accusation they threw at him and stomped up to his room. S asked one of the servants to look after, the little kids so that she could rest in her bed b4 going to work. C offered to do it instead. S was admiring his dependability but reminded him that he still had his own duties to finish. He promised his mom to do so and wished her a good night.
Na and C spent some time together in the playroom. Se was too busy checking social media and searching for the full episodes of this show. C found it great that these 2 now have a common interest to bond over. Na played some games with ll while c chatted with his friends on his phone. Ll entertained her long enough until she fell asleep on the couch. To not wake her up, c tells a nearby maid to get a glass of water and a blanket.
There they let her sleep until the next morning. She only occasionally was waking up to take her meds. Se & Na started to talk a little bit. not much but for them it was an improvement. they mainly talked about what he wanted to know about the show. and if there are any comic reliefs in it as well. He likes funny characters. the sillier the better or that's how he puts it. Na got picked up by her parents after the 3 kids had breakfast together. E went already to his office and S was shopping with her friends.
While C was busy studying for his next test, while se is doing his own studies. E got his youngest a handful of very talented teachers for him alone. C thought it was stupid a few years ago. He could just take online classes or applied to the school he went to when he was a kid. But his dad wanted to keep his bio kid safe first and foremost,. At first, that statement put the older boy off. He knew that he was not really like him up until his brother was born but thanks for S's intrusion and calling her husband out on his comment. They talked it out for some time and eventually came to an understanding that their first meeting really was not ideal. C was still young and under the influence of his bio mom. And E was obviously hating on her as well.
C & E finally agreed on accepting the decision and let the past be buried. After the years went by C didn't complain anymore after seeing how he would have been a target as well. If he was not bullied by Bu, there could be still another brat looking for a victim. And here someone could always have an eye on the young boy. After he got all his homework done, C decided to go to the mall to eat something he likes. He got tired of the prim and proper dishes he got served and as a child, he always loved to go to KFC. So that is where he went.
Arriving at the front of the fast food joint, he ran into Br and her group of friends. As expected, she ignored him as they were standing in line. But unbeknownst to C, Br was waiting for him to apologize to her and invite her for lunch. But nothing happened. C stopped trying to please her with every demand she was giving him. Even after they knew each other for years, he was just over it by the time they got to a higher school. Instead, he was looking at his calendar and humming the old lullaby. That ticked her off, not even her girlfriends could distract her from her oncoming rage.
She finally turned around and stared at him. C felt her gaze on him but he knew her ploy too well. As Br and her friends were next to order she just kept looking at him. Eventually, the ppl behind them got annoyed and asked her to order already or leave. Without looking at her, C cut in line, to Br's disbelieve. After getting his number he sat down and waited patiently. One of Br's friends ordered for the group and led her to another table. There she went off about how 'rude' and 'unapologetic' C has been to her the last few days.
The brainless lackeys there are, everyone agrees on how he acted. Not only now but also in school. They don't meet that often bc their lessons don't always line up. But she gets a warm welcome in every class she went to. C used to talk to her when they had the same classes but now she just gets the cold shoulder. She was not upset about that bc she liked him. Far from it. But she couldn't handle rejection very well, especially if it is from someone she knows in private.
Lv told her to give him some time but she wouldn't listen. After their number was called, Br went to the counter and as she glanced at C's direction she noticed that another guy sat next to him. She knew him as she has seen him in a few magazines b4.
A few minutes earlier
C was debating on talking to Br but not wanting to give in so easily he stuck to his ideals. If she finally gets to understand how destructive Bu really is then he will say sorry for his comments about him. But as it stands there might be still some time for her to do some soul-searching. not too long after, Fa saw him from outside and came in to say hello. They continued talking until a certain girl stood in front of them. Br tried her typical cute act, which somewhat works for Fa, but C was so done with that. It was cute when they were kids but now he kind of feels embarrassed thinking back on how she had him around her little finger in the past.
Br started to chit-chat with the other boy, while C started to wonder when his meal is finally done. After some more waiting, C finally gets to pick up his food. As C stood up to get his order, Br didn't waste any time & asked Fa how close they are as friends. Not thinking too much out of it he tells her that he thinks he is a good guy, and his family is pretty nice whenever they are out in public. Not much was out of the ordinary for her, but she had to know something. B4 C came back Br asked if he is familiar with a certain show. And he gleefully admits that he is a voice actor in this show. C smashed his food tray on the table, glaring at his cousin. He overheard some of their conversation and knew that she had a reason to ask his friend those questions. Br never saw this show, nor wanted to watch it with anyone. So what she had in mind was a mystery to him. But the teenage boy knew it couldn't be any good.
part 6 coming soon
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teardroops-world · 7 months
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poisonnightmares · 1 year
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AnyDeath
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teardrops-xxx · 1 year
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