#honestly I wouldn't have been surprised if he did but I would have been very disappointed

[luizd3ad]

She's My Religion | Lily Evans x Fem!Reader One Shot

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Lily Evans x Reader

WC:8,636

TW: mentions of abuse, self-doubt, cursing, little bit of homophobia and use of homophobic slur, use of the word Mud-Blood (not used by reader), use of Y/N, Reader is implied to be a Slytherin but not directly specified, mentions of violence, death threats, It’s kinda angsty, but cute at the end.

Author's Note: I’ve never wrote for Lily so I’m sorry if this is out of character or something idk I tried this is also the longest fic I’ve written I didn’t mean for it to be this long😅.

Summary: What happens when Sirius Blacks little sister and Regulus Blacks twin sister starts to fall for the intelligent and beautiful Lily Evans?

I made this cute little mood board idk I just love this tbh

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳

Y/N Black had always been seen as the colder Black out of her and her two brothers and that was saying something especially considering her twin, Regulus. 

Regulus and her had been close their whole lifes. Their eldest cousin Andromeda would say they were thick as thieves. Always doing everything together refusing to go or do anything without the other. 

But after years of abuse from their partners and then it only getting worse when their older brother Sirius left she closed up, to the point of even icing Regulus out to an extent.

When Regulus made the choice to mend the bond between him and Sirius, Y/N made it clear that she wanted no part in it. 

In Y/N’s eyes Sirius didn't care, he didn't love her. She knew he didn't. If he did, why would he leave them? Why would he leave her? Especially with those people.

Sirius had always protected Regulus and Y/N as much as he could. He would take punishment, sneak them food if they were forced to go without. 

Eventually protecting them ment having Regulus go to The Potters with him when there was talk of an arranged marriage for Regulus.

Regulus left 12 Grimmauld Place during winter break in their 5th year, Y/N being left once again.  

At that point she'd separated herself from everyone who'd cared for her, admittedly it was mostly her brothers but also the few friends she and Regulus shared.

Sirius had tried many times to talk to Y/N but she never budged, she'd rarely spare him a glance. He was shattered, Sirius felt as if he'd lost his baby sister. 

Regulus took it worse not that he'd admit that to anyone who wasn't Sirius. He had hoped that she'd forgive them at some point and that she'd join them or at the very least understand why they left but she didn't. 

Y/N wouldn't speak, look, or even be in the same room as Regulus if she could help it. 

Regulus lost his twin, his other half, his life line and she didn't even seem to care. 

But she did care she cared so fucking much. 

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Despite Y/N being cold and dark to those around her, she was smart.

Some would say smarter than Regulus, definitely smarter than Sirius. 

So it came as no surprise to her when the summer between her 5th and 6th year Y/N got word that she was to join the 7th year potions class.

Honestly she didn't care, Walburga was as pleased as she could be and Orion unsurprisingly couldn't care less.

But that's how she found herself being in the potion class the year above and being assigned partners with her. 

Lily Evans. 

Y/N didn't know much about Lily other than she was friends with her brother and his friends, she was smart, a Gryffindor and muggle-born.

Now Y/N didn't care for blood statues. It never made sense to her, the hatred that so many purebloods held for half-bloods or muggle-borns.

It all seemed barbaric and honestly a waste of time.

So, no Y/N didn't care that she was partnered with someone who was a muggle-born. 

She did care however that she was partnered with a friend of Sirius's. And it wasn't just a friend that he would see around and chat up with sometimes no, they were close friends.

This was going to be a problem.

“Hi, I’m Lily! Your Siris’ and Regs’ little sister right?”

Lily stuck out her hand for you to shake with one of the brightest smiles you think you've ever seen. 

You simply roll your eyes and dismiss her hand shake. 

“I prefer to be called by my name, Y/N, rather than being referred to as Sirius and Regulus' sister.”

Lily drops her hand and her smile falls just a tad, not enough for most people to notice, but you did. 

“Of course. I'm sorry, truly.”

“It's fine Evans.”

You say coldly, giving your undivided attention to Slughorn.

The rest of class was spent taking notes mostly with Lily attempting to make small talk every so often. You ignored her for the rest of the class.

You knew Lily was only trying to be nice but you also knew she was only trying to be nice so she could bring up your brothers.  

And talking about them was one of the last things you wanted to do.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Days started to pass turning into weeks, weeks turning into months.

You and Lily had been cordial.

You tried your best not to be completely rude to her since she always tried to make small talk and she was kind to you.

You actually grew quite fond of her over time but you didn't think that the two of you were friends by any means.

But you were acquaintances.

And you did like being in her presents.

It had been three months since school had started and Slughorn had announced that there was a project that was due in 2 weeks, right before christmas break would start and you were to work on it with your partner.

You sighed and looked to the side to see a smiling Lily. 

You weren’t upset that you had to do a project with Lily considering she was very smart and you liked being around her, but you were upset knowing that you'd have to spend time with her after class and knowing that where she goes her friends were not far most of the time.

Which meant there was a possibility of seeing her friends, which meant a possibility of seeing Sirius and or Regulus more than you'd like.

“Okay Evans we’ll meet at the library after classes are done so we can just get this done. Please refrain from bringing your friends.”

Lily knew what you meant by that, you were asking her to keep Sirius and Regulus away from you.

Lily chuckled and shook her head.

“They go where they please.”

Translation. She couldn't stop either of them, more specifically Sirius, even if she wanted to. 

“I see. I'll see you later Evans.”

You sigh once more gathering your things to walk away. 

“Bye Y/N.”

It always caught you off guard when she would call you by your first name instead of your surname. 

First names were meant for friends, yet she never called you Black. 

She only ever called you Y/N, as if you were good friends. 

You supposed that was just the type of person Lily was. She was nice to everyone unless they gave her a reason not to be. 

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

After classes you find yourself entering the library. You were expecting to have to wait for Lily but to your surprise she beat you there.

You walk to the table she was occupying, setting your things down.

Once she notices you she looks up from her seat smiling at you.

She had a very beautiful smile, one that made you feel your heart skip a beat for a moment. But you chose to ignore the feeling, deciding, hoping, it meant nothing. 

“How were your classes Y/N?”

Lily asked with genuine curiosity in her eyes. 

Did she actually care? She couldn't possibly care about my day. No, she didn't care, she was just asking to be polite. That was all. You tried to convince yourself.

“It was fine… How about you?”

Lily then went on about her day. She told you her favorite thing she learned that day, a joke her friend Mary told her that made you actually crack a small smile. 

You couldn't help but hold on to every word that came out of her mouth. 

Without you even realizing it Lily talking was easily becoming your favorite part of the days that followed.

You spent every day that week meeting with Lily at the library and you realized you actually really liked spending time with her. She had managed to make you smile a few times which was a rare sight.

Lily had this light to her that you couldn't describe. She was just everything good in the world. 

She was funny, smart, sweet, kind, beautiful and you wanted to spend every moment you could with her. 

You realized as the weekend grew closer you wouldn't have a reason to see her for two days. That bothered you and you couldn't figure out why. 

The two of you were working late in the back of the library. The library was practically empty.

“There's a Hufflepuff party tomorrow night. Are you going?”

“No. Parties aren't really something I enjoy. I’m assuming it’s safe to assume you're going?”

You say giving Lily a small smile.

“Yeah. We're all going… you should come.”

You knew what she meant. Sirius and most likely Regulus were going to be there.

Over the week of working with her she would make little suggestions now and then about seeing or talking to your brothers without blatantly saying so.

You just shook your head looking down at the table.

“I'm okay, thank you for the invitation.”

“Okay well, I'm going to Hogsmeade on sunday. Usually no one comes with me since they're all hungover. Would you like to join me?”

You felt yourself stop breathing. You didn't know why you felt this way. 

It was just Lily, but you've never spent time with Lily outside of an academic setting. 

Was this for the project? Or were you supposed to hang out as friends? Or was it.. More?

Did you want it to be more?

Before you have the chance to answer or contemplate further, your conversation was interrupted.  

“Oi, Black! Three blood traitors wasn’t enough for your line? You decided to become one yourself?”

Avery said, making Mulciber laugh. 

You look up at them about to get up but Lily grabs and squeezes your hand telling you to let it go. 

So you did.

“Aww isn't that cute? You’re shagging the Mud-blood now? Merlin your whole family is full of a bunch of fuckin’ poof-”

Before he can finish his sentence you have him on the ground holding his nose. You felt what some people would refer to as ‘The Black Family Madness’ cloud your mind. 

You thought it was just pure fucking anger, but what did you know?

You look down at Avery while having your wand pointing at Mulciber to keep him where he is, not showing any emotion on your face.

“I could kill you, you know? I could kill both of you. Make it look like self defense. ‘Oh i was so scared they cornered me and I- I didn't know what to do. I was scared for my life'.”

You say the last part in a mocking tone you then crouch in front of Avery looking him dead in the eyes.

“No one would even blink if you two died. Did you know that? I won't do it though because I refuse to risk myself being thrown in Azkaban. Especially for the likes of you, do you know why? It’s simple really, both of your lives put together don't even measure up to mine alone in terms of importance.”

You stand up straight looking at both of them.

“Now you're going to apologize to Evans for caller her such a vile and disgusting name, and if you don’t I will have a letter send to my mother by the end of the night about how I walked in on you two shoving your tongues down each other's throats and how I ‘just don't know what to do!’ and then we can see how your fathers react to just the idea of having ‘poofs’ inside they're line.”

You give them a small smirk while Avery and Mulciber look at each other debating if they're willing to have a rumor like that go around especially since it was a lie.

“And if you think my mother won't believe me. I reassure you, she will. Why would I lie? It wouldn’t benefit me as far as she's concerned and I am as close to a ‘perfect’ child as she'll ever get and if it comes out that the two of you might be shagging then the dirty looks get taken off The Black Family’ and move to The Mulcibers’ and The Averys’. So let's play this one smart boys.”

That seemed to convince Avery enough that he stands up and looks at Lily and forces out an ‘I’m sorry.’ 

Mulciber is a little more hesitant. You send a Stinging Jinx Mulcibers way, he falls to his knees with a small hiss and looks at Lily.

“I'm sorry Evans, really really sorry.”

Mulcibers cried out

“Now. You're both going to leave Evans alone. You are going to keep her name and both of my brothers' names out of your mouths. Am I understood?”

You say with no emotion on your face once again. 

They both let out quiet ‘yes’s’ while scrambling to leave.

After the ‘Madness’ had cleared from your mind it hit you what you did. You didn't feel bad about what you did but you realize you did it all in front of Lily. 

You don't even look at her as you start to gather your things.

“I’m sorry Evans, really. I-I should go.”

You ramble out while trying to walk away. Lily grabs your arm stopping you in your tracks.

“I won't lie and say I agree with what you did, but I don't blame you. I also appreciate you standing up for me. I'm not mad or scared of you Y/N.”

“I should have never done that in front of you. I'm sorry, really.”

“It's okay. I promise. Lets stop working tonight, yeah?”

You nod at Lily.

“Yeah. Okay” 

“So about Hogsmeade?”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

You were sitting by the entrance of Hogwarts looking down playing with the matching serpent ring that Regulus had got for you and him a few birthdays ago. 

You've never taken it off.

You were just wearing some plain jeans and a jumper you had stolen from Sirius years ago. You find yourself wearing it when you think you might need moral support and you didn't know why but you felt a need to wear it today.

No matter how hurt you might be from your brothers leaving, you still loved them so much. You didn't necessarily blame them for leaving the house or the family, you just wish they were still with you.

You’re taken out of your thoughts when you hear footsteps coming your way. 

You look up and forget how to breathe for a moment. 

There she was. Lily fucking Evans walking towards you she was wearing a white long sleeve shirt and a plaid skirt it was so simple but she looked amazing.

Why are you feeling like this? Why does it feel like every time you're in her presents you feel like you can't breathe?

You've never felt this way before.

“Hey Y/N ready to go?”

“Yes.”

You felt like your words were stuck in your throat. 

She was just so fucking beautiful. 

You didn't talk much on your walk to Hogsmeade. You were too caught up in your head and Lily had noticed that.

“Are you okay Y/N?”

“Yes, I'm fine. How was your party last night?”

You asked, trying to change the subject. LIly knew what you were doing and she let you get away with it.

“It was actually a lot of fun. It would have been a lot more fun if you were there.”

Lily said, sending you a smile. 

You just rolled your eyes playfully with a small smile of your own, letting Lily go on about the things that happened. She told you everything that had happened as if she didn't want you to feel left out. You didn't realize how much a little act like that could make your heart speed up a bit.

By the time you had gotten to Hogmaede Lily was laughing at a story about something her friend Marlenne had done, you were just smiling. Whether you were smiling at the story or at her laugh you didn't know and you didn't want to think about it. You just wanted to enjoy the time with her.

At some point Lily grabbed your hand holding it as you went through multiple shops, you tried not to pay too much attention to how her hand felt in yours. There were a few disagreements here and there when you insisted on paying for the things she wanted.

She in her words 'didn't want you to waste your money’ and you just responded with ‘it's not a waste if it's you.’

She finally stopped fighting you after you told her that you loved spending money on things you knew your mother and father wouldn't agree with. It was one of your little acts of rebellion. Which was true but a part of you also just wanted to spoil her.. But she didn't have to know that.

By the time you two had gotten back to the castle it was almost dark. You walked Lily to the Gryffindor tower still holding her hand.

“You know you could come in right? They want to see you.”

Lily said, squeezing your hand gently to reassure you.

Since the school year started and you wouldn't talk to Regulus he stopped coming down to the dungeons if he could help it, he started to stay in the Gryffindor tower. So other than the few classes you shared and the occasional glances across the great hall you haven't seen your twin in months.

It killed a part of you but you were still so angry and hurt.

“Me and you both know that's not a good idea.”

You said looking down. Lily was about to disagree when the portrait opened out walking James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and last but not least both of your brothers. 

You could hear a pin drop in the corridor outside of the Gryffindor common room.

Sirius and Regulus stare at you without saying a word. No one moves, no one says anything.

You look back at Lily with your jaw clenched and drop her hand, putting your hands in your pockets. You didn't miss the hurt that flashes through her eyes but you didn't focus on it. You just had to get out of there.

“I'll see you later Evans, Yeah?”

You say to Lily mustering up a very small smile at her so she knew you were not upset with her. 

You started to walk away not even acknowledging the presents of anyone else. You do your best to keep walking away ignore the sound of talking down the hall, trying your best to not spare your brothers another glance

You just weren't ready to talk to them and you didn't even know if they actually wanted to talk to you.

So you just continue walking to the dungeons 

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

The next day Lily rushed into potions class, saying how sorry she was and explaining that she didn't know that was going to happen. It was all just poor timing.

All you could do was smile at her and reassure her that you didn't blame her.

You knew she wouldn't do something like that to you,

As the days passed by getting closer to the middle of the week you and Lily continued to get closer. You both would still meet up after classes in the library to finish up your project, the project that you both knew you could have finished, days ago.

You were coming to expect that you possibly had feelings for the girl but you knew she most likely just saw you as a friend.

You both were packing up for the night, you had finally finished with your project with two days to spare. It was a bittersweet moment.

“Y/N, what are you doing tonight?”

You looked up confused but you had a spark of hope in your chest.

“Nothing, probably go to my dorm, read, sleep… Why?”

“I have rounds tonight till 8:30. Do you want to meet after?”

“Um.. Okay? Yes, I'd like that. Um where should we meet?”

Lily then gave you one of her breath taking smiles obviously excited that you agreed.

“I'll come get you after I'm down, just meet me in front of the dungeons around 9?”

“Okay, Yeah.”

You were caught off guard when Lily walked over to you and hugged you.

The only people to have hugged you were your brothers and even then it had been years. You didn't know what to do for a moment so after some hesitation you hugged her back.

You felt her relax into you for a moment. You could smell her perfume, Strawberries and vanilla.

You reluctantly pulled away after a moment. You could see a light blush on her face and you couldn't imagine that you were any better.

“I'll see you later Evans.”

You say giving Lily a small smile and walking away with your things in hand.

Once you left the library you all but ran to your dorm. Your thoughts consume you.

That was a friend hug right? It had to be. Lily was just nice like that. Are friend hugs supposed to last that long though? You wouldn't know you wouldn't ever let anyone you were friends with hug you.

So then why did you let Lily hug you?

Why did you want to do it again?

Before you knew it it was 8:55 and you were waiting in front of the dungouse. You were still over thinking the hug.

Why was something so simple as a hug throwing you off? It didn't make sense.

You continued to think while absentmindedly playing with your ring. You were so lost in thought that you didn't even notice Lily till she put her hand on yours, stopping you from fidgeting.

You look at her and smile slightly.

“Where exactly are we going Evans?”

You ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Now why would I tell you that? Come on.”

Lily gave you a smirk and grabbed you hand leading you to wherever she was taking you. You couldn't help but blush at her holding your hand but you didn't pull away or protest it.

You let out a little chuckle when you finally realized where Lily was leading you.

“Really Evans? The astronomy tower? Seems a little cliché doesn’t it?”

You say with a teasing voice all Lily does is roll her eyes at you as you make it to the top of the tower.

When you get there you see that a few blankets and pillows are lying out.

You just blush again and Lily drags you over and has you sit with her in the pile of blankets and pillows.

“So why here?”

You ask leaning back on your hands.

“It’s just one of my favorite places. I like the stars.”

She says with a little shrug.

“Do you know about Cassiopeia?”

You ask, looking at her as she looks into the sky. Lily just shrugs and looks at you.

“Admittedly I’m not very good at astronomy. I would usually have… um Sirius do my work.”

Lily says looking scared that just mentioning your brother will have you running for the hills.

“Cassiopeia was the queen of Ethiopia; she was married to King Cepheus. One day she had angered Poseidon, she claimed that her and her daughter, Andromeda were more beautiful than the daughters of Nereus. So the sea nymphs, Nereids, asked Poseidon to send a monster to destroy King Cepheus's coast. To appease the monster, Cassiopeia and Cepheus chained Andromeda to a rock as a sacrifice, Perseus rescued Andromeda, but Poseidon still punished Cassiopeia, he took her and hung her in the heavens. Cassiopeia sits on her throne, but during part of the year, she appears upside down in the sky.”

Lily looks at you slightly shocked.

“How do you just know that?”

You chuckle and shake your head lightly.

“Evans, I’m a Black. It’s basically a requirement to know about the stars.”

“Okay fine, tell me about that one.”

She says point at a random constellation.

You tell her about every constellation or star she points at for a while, not noticing that the two of you have subconsciously been moving closer and closer. Eventually your shoulders are touching hands brushing against each other every so often. 

“Okay how about that one?”

She pointed at one of the clusters of stars you hoped she wouldn’t have pointed out.

Then again it was bound to happen.

“Canis Major the ‘great dog’ it’s built around Sirius, the Dog Star, the brightest star in the sky.”

You say looking down, playing with the ring on your finger.

There’s a silence for a moment, it’s not awkward but not necessarily comfortable either.

“They miss you, you know?”

Lily says, looking at you.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

You say not looking at her at all.

A part of you knew you couldn’t look at her because if you did you’d tell her anything she wanted to know.

“They really do. Sirius and Regulus ask me how you're doing all the time Y/N.”

Lily says grabbing your hand to stop you from playing with your ring once again.

“Lily please.”

You say looking up at her. 

Your breath gets stuck in your throat for a moment once you realize how close the two of you are.

You're so caught up in the moment, so captivated by the most beautiful pair of green eyes you've ever seen that you didn't even notice.

You didn't even notice that you called her Lily. Not Evans. 

Just Lily.

“You know you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen?”

Lily says, staring at your eyes.

“Funny. I was thinking the same thing.”

You said with a new found confidence. Lily looks down at your lips for a moment and then you both start to lean in slowly.

“Ooooo naughty naughty.”

You both jump at the sound of the most annoying Poltergeist known to man.

After a few minutes of Lily somehow convincing Peeves to not tell on us for being there. You found yourself walking Lily to the Gryffindor common room hand in hand for the second time in a week.

“I hope you had fun tonight, I’m sorry Peeves kinda ruined the night.”

Lily said, stopping in front of the entrance to her common room.

“It's not your fault. You didn't know he would be there. I still had a good time.”

She just smiled at you, not letting go of your hand. 

“I had a lot of fun too.”

You desperately didn't want the night to end but you didn't know how to express that. You weren't blind you could tell Lily most likely had some kind of feelings for you. There was just a part of you that was still so scared of being rejected or left.

“It's getting late so we should go to bed.”

You say ruining your thumb over her knuckles.

“What if I said I didn't want to go to bed yet?”

Lily said, stepping closer to you. 

You just smile and let out a little sigh looking her in the eyes.

“I would then say that as much as I don't want this night to end, we've already been caught once and it's late, we have class tomorrow and I wouldn't want to see you tired… though under different circumstances I would love to see you tired.”

You say to her while smirking at her with confidence that you didn't know you had.

Lily just looks at you speechless blushing more than you think you've ever seen her before. You then dare to kiss her cheek softly.

“Goodnight, Lily.”

You whisper while sending a small smile towards her, not waiting for a response you start to walk away.

This had been one of the best nights of your life.

 · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Even though you had finished your projects you and Lily found yourselves still meeting in the library after classes leading up to break.

You both had been more affectionate in your own ways, Lily had started bringing you little snacks and water because she thought you didn't eat enough or drink enough water.

You were just constantly holding her hand or hugging her when you got the chance. It didn't go farther than that physically but you two started shamelessly flirting more often.

Finally it was the day before everyone would leave for christmas break you had just turned in your project to Slughorn.

You were gathering your things to leave for the next class when you were hit with an idea.

“Lily, do you want to.. Maybe hang out tonight?”

You asked nervously while a faint blush took over your face. You don't know why you're so nervous. You had hung out with Lily so many times at this point, it should feel normal.

She smiled at you and nodded.

“Yeah. I'd like that.”

“Okay. meet me at the astronomy tower. Around 8?”

“Really Y/N the astronomy tower? How cliché.”

Lily says in a teasing tone.

“Hahaha, just meet me there okay?”

You gave Lily’s hand a little squeeze, sending her a smile.

After classes that day you got together a little picnic basket of all the candies and food that Lily had told you she liked at one point or another. 

You had gone and set everything up so you went back to your dorm to change into your favorite outfit. Finally it was time to meet Lily you found her eventually and smiled at how beautiful she looked.

“So where are we going?”

Lily asked as you walked up to her.

“Wouldn't you like to know?”

You say sending her a small smirk as she rolled her eyes.

“Yes I actually would.”

“You'll find out soon, calm down.”

You say grabbing her hand and leading her up to the third floor of the astronomy tower, you then let go of Lily’s hand walking in front of the blank wall while Lily looks at you curiously. 

Soon the door for the Room of Requirements appears and the look Lily gives you is priceless.

“Is this the Room of Requirement?”

You nod while opening the door for her.

“Yeah. I found it in my third year. It's my own little part of the school, where no one can bother me unless I let them. You're the first person I've brought here.”

The room is full of books and a big fireplace with large comfy couches and a record player with all your favorite records next to it.

Next to the fireplace is the little picnic you had set up. Lily lets out a soft gasp as she sees the set up.

You both sit down and look at each other for a while. It's a soft moment, it feels like you both just needed to take each other in for a moment.

“So it's your last christmas here. Are you going home?”

You ask, taking a bite of a chocolate wand after.

“No. We all decided to stay here for our last christmas. Are you staying?”

“Yes. I'd rather spend Christmas in the dungeons then go back to Grimmauld Place.”

You say shaking your head with a sigh.

“Y/N, I know you try to avoid talking about this but just hear me out and if you don't want to talk about it after, I will leave it be, okay?”

You sigh already knowing where this conversation is going but you decided to hear Lily out anyway. You nod your head letting her know that she can continue.

“You said it yourself. This is mine and Sirius’s last Christmas at Hogwart. This is probably the last chance the three of you have to spend a Christmas together. They miss you Y/N, honestly they do. My sister doesn't talk to me anymore because I'm a witch and I miss her everyday. I don't want to see you go through that. I don't want you to regret not seeing your brother when you had the chance.”

You take a moment to think about it. You already knew if you didnt make up with them soon you'd regret it. Hell you already regretted it. 

You remembered how heartbroken Narcissa was when she found out that Andromeda had a baby. Narcissa knew she would never be able to meet her niece. You didn't want that. You didn't want your brothers to have families and you not be involved. You knew that if you didnt get over this pettiness that there was a large possibility that that was exactly the path you were heading down. 

“Okay. when everyone leaves tomorrow. I'll see them.”

“Really?”

“Yeah Lils. You're right after all. I don't want to not be a part of my brothers’ lives.”

Lily just gives you a hug whispering how proud of you she was.

Lily understood how hard this was for you. She knew you were hurt even if you never flat out said it to her.But it was time for you to get over it before you lost the only family you ever really cared for.

You and Lily spend the rest of the night talking and laughing. For a moment you forget the anxiety that will consume you tomorrow.

You'll be fine. As long as you have Lily by your side you know you'll be fine.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

You waited at the entrance of the Gryffindor common room anxiously playing with the ring on your finger.

Why did you agree to this? Were you really ready to face your brothers? What if they hated you? What if they wanted nothing to do with you?

You were so caught up in your thoughts you didn't even notice your favorite red head till she touched your hands stopping you fidgeting with your ring one again.

You looked up at her, the anxiety obvious on your face. 

“They want to see you. I promise.”

She gives you a comforting smile keeping her hand on yours.

“What if I fuck this up? What if I lose them for good?”

You feel the burning behind your eyes trying not to cry.

“They love you so much Y/N. All you have to do is try.”

You nod, keeping Lily’s hand in yours letting her lead you into the portrait of Elizabeth Spriggs aka ‘The Fat Lady’.

Once you walk into the common room you notice it seems uncharacteristically quiet. 

You look and see two matching sets of gray eyes looking at you. You take a deep breath still trying to hold back the tears.

It's been close to a year since you talked to Sirius, quite a few months since you talked to Regulus.   

“Sirius, Regulus.”

You say in a neutral voice not making eye contact with either of them.

There's a moment of silence and stillness, a part of  you considers running out of the room but before you can act on that though you're being tackled into a hug by your eldest brother. You couldn't help but let a few tears fall as you hold Sirius and you can tell he's crying just the same.

Sirius cups your face with both of hands after a few moments to look at you with tears streaming down his face.

“I'm never letting you go again, you hear? I'm not losing my baby sister again.”

You let out a little sob and hug Sirius again putting your head on his chest.

“Sirius, Y/N why don't we go somewhere with a smaller audience.”

Regulus said in all his stoic glory. 

“Yeah. Regs right. We'll go to my room, alright?”

You give a small nod to Sirius then leads you to his shared dorm room while Regulus follows behind. 

You honestly didn't even notice the other people in the room until Regulus said something.

It wasn't many people, it was just ‘The Marauders’ as they call themselves and Lily but Regulus knew you would be more comfortable with just you three and you knew Regulus felt the same.

Once you get to Sirius room you look at Regulus for the first time in months.

“I’m sorry Regulus. I really am.”

You say trying to hold tears back once again.

“You ignored me. You ignored me for months Y/N.”

You look down ashamed playing with your ring once more.

“I know Regulus and if I could go back I would but I can’t. I was just hurt. Sirius left and that hurt so fucking much but at least I had you. Then you left, and I understand why you did but then I was just by myself. It nearly killed me to be alone with mother and father.”

You said taking a deep breath.

“I told you to come with me. Why didn’t you come?”

Regulus said with so much hurt in his voice it felt like someone ripped your heart out.

“I was afraid. I was afraid that I was too much like them. That if I would have gone, I would have tainted whatever good you made for yourselves.”

“You are nothing like them. Neither of you are. I made sure of that. Y/N if you were like them you wouldn’t be friends with Lily and Regulus if you were you would have never reached out for help.”

Sirius says while holding you against him once again.

“I really am sorry Reg.”

You look up at regulus with your tear stained face.

Regulus’s eyes softened and before you knew it, Regulus had taken you from Sirius arms and hugged you tighter than you had ever been hugged before but you didn’t mind.

You both cried into each other's arms for the first time in years. 

Sirius hugged both of you and for a moment you just sat there in your brother's arms enjoying every second of it.

“So, you and Lily huh?”

Sirius says in a teasing voice. You pushed him away and glared at him.

“Shut up.”

You say with a slight pout. Regulus and Sirius just give each other a knowing look as you roll your eyes and scoff.

“I hate you both. Did you know that?”

“Nah, you love us too much baby sister.”

Sirius says ruffling your hair as you swat his hands away.

“Wait. Is that my jumper?”

“… No. You’re crazy. The Black Family Madness is catching up with you Siri.”

Sirius and you start to argue as if no time had passed. Regulus just smiles at you two feeling grateful to have this back.

You spend the rest of the break with your brothers mostly but also with the marauders and Lily.

You got to know them all. 

You took a liking to Remus quickly bonding over your favorite books.

You and Peter got along well enough playing chess together often, since he would insist on rematches because you would continuously beat him.

James admittedly was harder not that you didn’t like him but a part of you had blamed him for Sirius leaving for so long that it was hard to get past that and it showed. It wasn't until christmas eve when James had pulled you aside for a moment when you felt yourself grow comfortable with him.

“You know, you don't have to go back there right?”

“What do you mean Potter?”

You looked at him with raised eyebrows as he sat next to you on the couch you were now occupying. 

“You don't have to go back to Grimmauld Place. You could be with your brothers again, I already wrote mum and dad. They said they'd be more than happy to have another Black join the Potters. I mean what's another one, yeah?”

James said with a small smile, lightly bumping your shoulder with his.

“Are you sure? I don't-”

“Yes. I know. You don't want to over step or be a burden and I know you don't think you deserve it, but you do. Merlin's beard, you and your brother are just the same. I will never understand the treatment your parents put the three of you through. But what I do know is that you three deserve good things in your lives. You deserve so much more than what your parents put you through. You are worth so much more than what they made you believe you were. You deserve to be loved, to be safe and to be happy. Y/N you will always have a home with us, plus… I've always wanted a little sister.”

You didn't say anything, you just hugged James and nodded your head.

Off to the side watching the interaction between you and James was your brothers, for the first time in years Regulus and Sirius knew the three of you would be safe and they couldn't be happier.

They liked seeing you interact with the people that they’ve grown close with and getting to see you actually happy every so often was just a bounce. 

But your brothers weren’t the only ones who liked it. 

Lily loved seeing you interact with all of them. 

You seemed so alive.

She’d never seen you act like that with anyone but her. She loved seeing you smile and laugh. She loved seeing you and your brothers truly happy.

This was her favorite Christmas so far.

You had made it her favorite Christmas.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

You felt better than you had in months, no, years. 

You had your brothers back and for the first time in years. The three of you were getting along and you knew you would finally be safe.

You also knew it was because of Lily as well. 

She was the fire in your darkness, she gave you light, warmth and she felt so happy and safe.

Everything felt good for once. But if you knew anything, you knew that wasn't going to last.

“You don't actually think she loves you do you?”

You turn to see none other than Severus Snape leaning by the entrance to the dungeons. You raise your eyebrow at him questioningly. 

You don't really talk to Snape unless it was necessary you never really liked him or the company he kept in recent years. So for him to start any conversion with you was rare.

“What are you on about Snape?”

“Lily.”

He states as if it's obvious.

“What about Lily?”

Your interest obviously peaked at hearing the name of your favorite Gryffindor.

“She'll never love you. She loves Potter.”

He says in a monotone voice. You scoff rolling your eyes. 

“I don't know why I'm bothering with this nonsense.”

You turn to walk away muttering to yourself. 

“She and Potter kissed, you know. The other week, at a Hufflepuff party. I saw them. Potter has been pining for Lily since our first year. It seems he finally got what he was after.”

You stood there shocked, confused, frozen with your jaw now clenched. 

That couldn't be true. Lily wouldn't do that and if she did she'd tell you right? I mean you were… whatever you are, right?

And James wouldn't do that. He had all but flat out asked you to be his sister.

Snape was lying, he had to be. He was spreading lies about Lily. He just had to be. You wouldn't stand for that. You felt ‘The Madness’ creep in once again.

In one swift motion you had Snape pinned against the wall with your wand pointed at his neck. 

“You will not speak of Lily again. You will not look at her, speak to her. You will not breathe the same air as her and if you do. I will kill you. Do I make myself clear?”

You say with murderous eyes. 

Snape would never admit it but he was scared. He's only ever seen you as cold, emotionless. This was far from emotionless. 

“Crystal.”

Snape said, trying to hide his emotions as best as he could. 

You walk away without another glance stuck in your head. 

He had to be lying right? But why would he lie? Nothing made sense. Maybe he wasn't lying.

Stupid. You were so fucking stupid.

How could you think someone like Lily Evans would like someone like you. 

Lily brings life to everything she touches, she was sweet, caring, kind she was fucking perfect.

You were a Black, enough said.

You were angry, mean, rude, it was in your blood to ruin everything you touch. 

It wasn't her fault that you thought you might actually have a chance, that you developed a stupid crush, it was your fault for being stupid enough to think that it was ever a possibility.

I mean maybe you and Lily were just friends. Maybe you misunderstood?

You couldn't blame her but that didn't mean it hurt less. 

The first person you started putting your walls down for the first time in years obviously didn't care about you the way you cared for her. 

So you did what you did best when people would hurt you.

You avoided and ignored her. You managed to avoid Lily for a few days skipping potions class, leaving the library when you would see her walk in. 

Sirius was quickly getting irritated with your antics. He had been pestering you as to why you were avoiding Lily but you wouldn’t tell him or Regulus. 

If they knew she would find out.

So you just kept avoiding her and avoiding answering any questions your brothers would ask.

Eventually she found you and tried to talk to you which led to you ignoring her. It killed you to see the look on her face but it was necessary to protect yourself. You tried to convince yourself that it would be easier after a week. 

It wasn't.

For either of you apparently. 

Lily had managed to find you in the library while you were looking for a book to distract yourself with. You had put your guard down for a moment. You didn't even know she was there till she spoke.

“Y/N.”

She had said to gain your attention, when you realized there wasn't anywhere for you to go you decided to just get it over with to stop avoiding your problems for the first time in your life. 

You rolled your eyes and sighed looking at her for the first time in a week.

“What the hell do you want Evens? Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend, Potter?”

You say to Lily in a monotone voice looking her in the eyes.

“What are you talking about? I'm not dating James, I don't want him!”

You felt all the anger and insecurity start to cloud your brain. She was lying. How dare she lie to you. You were damned if you were made a fool once again. 

“You're such a liar Evans. Snape told me everything about how Potter has been pining for you for years! How he saw you two kiss at the Hufflepuff party! I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe you'd actually like me. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think Potter would actually look at me as a sister.”

You whisper yelled with your jaw clenched while the back of your eyes burned trying to hold back tears. 

“Me and James didn’t kiss I swear-”

You scoff, turning to walk away deciding you were done with this conversation, but Lily grabbed you by the arm, tapping you against the bookshelf.

“I didn't kiss James.He's a great friend but nothing more to me, and he does care for you, I know he does. But I don't want him, I want you. I've wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I love everything about you. I love how loyal you are, how even if you didn’t talk to your brother you'd never let anyone speak ill of them. How despite being raised to hate someone like me you never held something as stupid as my blood statutes against me. I love how smart you are. How you cover your smile when you laugh. How your eyes light up when youre reading a book you enjoy. How when you get anxious you play with your ring. Everything. Can’t you see that?”

You searched her eyes trying to see if there was any lie, but all you saw was the truth. She meant every word and it scared you. 

Lily then cupped your cheek wiping away a tear you didn't know was there.

“Why would you want me? I'm cold, rude, cynical and angry all the time. I'm not a great person...”

Lily scoffs playfully while smiling.

“You're no angel but you’re my everything Y/N. To me you light up the room, you don't take shit from anyone, you stand up for what you believe and I hope you'll never change. You showed me that I'm enough. I'll never stop wanting you. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

Lily whispers the last part brushing her nose against yours.

“What if I hurt you?”

You whisper your voice breaking a little.

“You'll probably hurt me a few times and I'll probably hurt you a few times but that's okay as long as we work it out together, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The anger and insecurity finally unclouding your brain letting you take in how close you two are. 

Lily's hand is still cupping your cheek while her other hand is on your hip pressing you slightly in the bookshelf while she's pressed against you.

Lily's eyes flicker down to your lips and you nod softly letting her know it was okay. 

You both lean in, your lips touching for the first time.

You felt warmth go through your whole body. It was beyond a spark or fireworks. It felt as if a bomb had been dropped on you. 

That kiss broke something in you. 

But it wasn't bad. 

It had broken down every wall that you spent years building up brick by brick. 

In just a moment Lily Evans had managed to do something to you, that you and so many other people thought impossible. 

She healed a part of you. 

Her lips were so soft they felt like silk against yours. 

It felt like she was made to be with you.

It's soft and sweet, at first. Then it felt consuming. She was all around you and you didn't want it to be any other way. 

You could only feel her, her hand squeezing your hip as your hand was on the back of her head pulling her closer. 

You could only smell her cherry and vanilla perfume. It made you dizzy with how intoxicating it was.

You had forgotten that you were in public for a moment that was until you heard a throat clear. 

Both of you pulling away with hot faces you look to see a very amused and smirking Remus Lupin. 

“Finally. I was afraid neither of you would ever actually make a move. Just wait till Sirius hears about this.”

You groan, throwing your head back against the bookcase while Remus and Lily laugh at your expense. 

You never expected for anyone to be able to break down your walls, to fall for someone. 

Especially not someone like Lily. 

But fuck were you happy that she did.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳

#Spotify #lily evans #lily evans x reader #lily x reader #the marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders #marauders era #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #peter pettigrew #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #the black brothers #the most ancient and noble house of black #hogwarts #harry potter #wlw post #wlw x reader #x reader #reader insert #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #regulus and sirius #sirius and regulus #reader x Lily evens #lily potter

[kasagia]

The grudge (Losing your memory pt. 2)

Pairing: Young! Coriolanus Snow x fem!Capitol! reader Summary: You promised you would destroy him. Be his ending at all costs. The fight between you begins. Both about his position as President of Panem and about the feelings you still have for him. But the question still haunts you... is your Coryo really gone? The second part of Losing your memory, but can be read as a separate oneshot. Although I recommend reading it. Inspired by: "The grudge" by Olivia Rodrigo and @uhnanix idea/request Taglist: @uhnanix @serving-targaryen-realness @diannana @aoi-targaryen @omgsuperstarg @il0vebeingdelulu @chelseyyouraverageluigi @un06 @tallulah477 @snowspubes @hueanhdang @snowspubes @phsychobanana @blythlover ~•♤♤♤•~ Coriolanus Snow's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~

"Wait... what do you want to do?" Clemensia Dovecote asks in shock when you invite her over a few days after your birthday party.

"You heard me." you reply calmly, playing with the Sejanus bracelet on your wrist.

"This is madness, Y/N. You can't… you…"

"You think so?" you ask, amused by her scandalized reaction. "The Capitol has seen stranger, worser things." you say, getting up from the couch and walking over to the mini bar to pour you both a drink. "Besides, you have to admit, it's an… exciting idea. People are going to love it… well, maybe not the old farts and those idiots from our year, but... I'm very optimisitc about it."

"Yes, but… my God, HE is going to hate you for this." she says with a growing smirk on her face. You laugh heartily and hand her the glass.

"This is the least of my worries. The question is... will you stand by my side?"

"Y/N? You've been quieter lately, has something happened?" your mother snapped you out of your thoughts as the three of you ate dinner together.

You replayed your conversation with Clemansia from a few months ago, wondering how to break the news to your parents… actually, now was as good a time as any. You doubt there would ever be a good time to convey something like this.

"I… actually yes." you say, clearing your throat and getting ready to drop the bomb on them.

"Is that Coriolanus? Did he propose to you?" you choke on the drink you were drinking and look at your mother with a dose of disbelief and disgust.

Apparently, the ridiculous amount of roses, chocolates, dresses, and even fucking jewellery that Coriolanus was sending you didn't go unnoticed by your mother. After the first month, you thought he would take the hint, but since he tirelessly sent you gifts, you stopped returning them to him damaged (e.g., cut roses and burned clothes) and decided to give them to the servants and maids and simply ignore that poisoned snake.

"What?! No, of course not. Besides, I wouldn't say yes like... never." you shudder at the thought, at which your father laughs, joining in on the conversation between the two of you for the first time.

"Then what is it?"

Their expectant glances intimidate you for a moment, and for the first time, you wonder if the decision you've made is right. But there was no turning back. You won't let Coriolanus win so easily (or, rather, at all).

"I… well. I've submitted my candidature for president of Panem."

The silence in the room after your statement is... extremely disturbing. They both freeze; your father holds the fork halfway to his mouth, staring at you in amazement, and your mother looks like they've frozen her. For a moment, you wonder if you've given them a heart attack. But your concern for them quickly fades when their loud collective screams echo throughout the dining room.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

"So I guess I won't have your votes then?" you ask jokingly, going back to cutting your steak.

"Are you crazy? A female president?!" your mother asks indignantly, and you roll your eyes. Honestly, you were a little surprised at her shock. As if you would ever play her role as an obedient wife.

"You may not know it, mother, but more and more female politicians appear in the government. Right, dad?" you ask him, using your only-daughter charm on him, mentally thanking everyone above that this man never treats you with disrespect and hostility like other fathers would if their only child was a girl.

Maybe you kind of enjoyed being his precious diamond after all. Even if that made you desired by all of Capitol's young men, who were more than willing to take your hand in marriage and dowry.

"That doesn't mean you have to be one of them! Y/F/N, tell her something!" you look pleadingly at your father, and after his long silence, you already know that you are melting his heart to your will. All it took was a little, gentle pressure.

"What are your real chances of winning?" he asks with a sigh as your mother looks at him with disbelief.

"Y/F/N..."

"I think my only serious opponent is Coriolanus. People are fed up with these fearful politicians who have been arguing with each other for a long time. Me and Snow are a fresh take on Capitol affairs. We are young and ambitious. People may choose us out of curiosity alone. And among the female electorate, I think I have a much better chance than him... if you can convince mother to let me do this, of course. I won't do anything without your blessing and support." you reply, looking at him confidently. His face is unreadable, as are his eyes, and you silently hope that you have inherited his ability to hide your emotions.

"Y/F/N you can't think about that seriosuly. She can't do this!"

"If you want to be in power, wouldn't it be better for you to join forces? Run a joint campaign. You would become Prime Minister, and he would become President if being a First Lady didn't suit you."

"I am Y/L/N. I am taking everything or nothing." this one sentence makes his façade break down. He smiles and clears his throat, trying to hide his proud smirk behind his glass of wine.

"Very good. You know your bank account number. If you need more campaign funds, in a reasonable amount, of course, you know who to ask." you smile at this and get up from your chair, ignoring your mother's words of protest.

"Thank you, father." you say, kissing his cheek and leaving the dining room, leaving him to deal with your mother's anger. You had to call your staff. The game was about to start.

You enter the parliament building quite uncertainly. You are wearing a white suit made by Tigris. The black vest, which is intended to liven up the outfit, fits you a bit too tight, but you blame it on the fact that you've been stress-eating sweets lately. You will ask her to sew you appropriate clothes later.

For now, you wanted as few people as possible to know about your candidacy. You trusted Tigris, but there was no way in hell you could let Coriolanus find out about this beforehand. You will present him with a fait accompli.

Just like he did when he chose Lucy Gray.

You notice him first. He is wearing a blood-red suit and a snow-white shirt. You wonder if subconsciously it's his reminder of the deaths of the people who allowed him to be where he stands now, but you prefer to think that the bastard simply has no conscience.

You could easily escape from him, but you don't want to. Not any longer. He will be the one running away from you. So you walk straight up to him, the click of your high heels echoing off the marble floor of the Parliament building.

"Nice suit." you say to him. He lifts his head and turns to you as he hears your voice. You can't read the look in his cold, blue eyes, but you don't care about that now. You're only here to stick a pin in him before his performance. "You wore your father's clothes and now you wear Sejan's? Maybe you haven't really changed at all." you scoff at him, and he shakes his head with an equally mocking smile as yours.

"This is probably the latest collection from your favorite designer. Not that I remember." he says, putting his hands in his pockets and watching you carefully as he takes a step towards you.

"Impossible. My favourite designer is Tigris. And I heard that lately you're too much of a snobbish, self-assured asshole to wear what she made for you."

"Maybe it's because she's turning you against me, trying to convince you that I'm a monster?" he says this ironically as you both stare at each other.

You notice that the rose is missing from his jacket pocket. His hair is also messier, as if he's running a nervous hand through it—a habit that obviously hasn't died with your Coryo. You frown at this but shake it off to respond to his taunt.

"Maybe you are actually a monster, Coriolanus? Didn't that occur to you? How could anybody do the things you did so easily? Or maybe Dr. Gaul calls this an unconventional, out-of-the-box way of thinking?"

"At least she's not pretending to be someone she's not." he growls at you, furious, a grudge shining in his eyes, at which you seethe in anger. He, of all people, has no right to resent you.

"At least I can honestly say I'm not a murderer. And what about you?"

Before you can react, he takes a step towards you. One of his hands wraps around your throat like a snake. However, he remembers that you are in a public place and quickly moves his hand to your cheek and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. His icy eyes are locked on yours as he tries to read any reaction from you. You give him nothing. And you're damn proud of it.

"If you didn't come to wish me luck in my first public appearance as a candidate for president, you should go. Before I give you a real reason to call me a monster, little diamond." he whispers quietly, the tone of his voice laced with threat, but you don't give a damn.

"Oh, snowy… I really wish you a lot of luck. You'll need it, my boy." you say, patting his chest dismissively. You walk away, making sure to bump his arm with yours as you move past him to go to the hall where the first recording for the presidential candidatures of Panem is to be held.

And you already know that it will be hard for you not to look at him, as a furious surprise will appear on his face when he sees that you will also be presenting your programme and announcing your candidature.

You've regretted your candidature many times over the past two weeks. Partly because you had to spend more and more time with the devil in a fancy suit. You didn't see this coming; you were too busy thinking about preventing him from winning. Now you had to attend balls with him and other candidates and various events that helped promote your campaigns, smile at cameras and photographers, and try to remain as polite and courteous to others as you needed.

Like now.

You were attending some important business event, and your uncomfortable high heels were digging into your skin, hurting you. But it was worth bleeding a little. You looked drop-dead gorgeous.

"Tomorrow you have an interview with the Capitol Times; the day after tomorrow we are promoting in the children's ward at the hospital; at the end of the week we both have to go to Fulvia Cardew's engagement party. And in the meantime, you have to go to at least three fittings of new clothes that Tigris made." Clemensia says, writing something down in her small notebook.

"Thanks, Clem. I don't know what I'd do without you." you say with a small smile as you sip your glass of champagne.

"You'd have to keep that stupid calendar and schedule yourself. If you want to help in some way, you can finally answer one of the many calls from Coriolanus. He torments both me and the servants in your house at night."

"And make my mother lose hope that someone is courting me? No thanks; this way, I have peace from her, and I don't have to talk to him longer than I should. Besides, I thought you liked it when I gave you the gifts he somehow managed to leave at my door."

"At some point, yes... but you will finally have to clean up the relationship between you two. Even if we win, Coriolanus will remain an important political player, and it would be good to have him on our side. Besides, it's obvious that he… oh shit. Gaul is coming." she says, terrified, and leaves you. You turn around just as the co-creator of The Hunger Games walks up to you.

“Miss Y/L/N. Congratulations. You surprised me.” you swallow the rest of the champagne and set the glass on the table behind you, preparing to face this crazy woman.

"I think half of the Capitol was in a similar condition. But I appreciate the gesture, Dr. Gaul." you say this with a polite smile as the woman looks you up and down. You're glad you're keeping yourself from trembling under her scrutinising, watchful gaze.

"Mr. Snow seemed to be particularly surprised. As soon as he returned to the lab, he came up with wonderful ideas for next year's Hunger Games." she boasts, and you smile fakely. It sickens you to think about what these two could have come up with for these poor children. But you don't show it. Instead, you chose to strike back.

"I heard that after Lucy Gray's disappearance, their... popularity dropped a bit. I hope things are going well with the sponsors? It would be such a shame if the project and ideas had to be... cancelled due to a lack of money."

"We're doing well. When Mr. Snow becomes president, I think the government will be more willing to fund them."

"IF Mr. Snow becomes president, Dr. Gaul." you correct her, slightly irritated. The woman smiles and nods her head mockingly.

"Of course... If." she says it with a wolfish, menacing smile.

You both stare at each other with hatred for a moment, both of you refusing to give up in your little battle. The atmosphere between you is tense.

You flinch when you feel a hand on your back. The delicate scent of roses begins to float in the air.

"Dr. Gaul. I am so happy to see you here. Y/N, you look amazing as always." Coriolanus says as he leans in and places a kiss on your cheek. You would wipe it in disgust if there weren't other people around you.

"Mr. Snow." Dr. Gaul greets him.

The mysterious smile never leaves her face as she watches the two of you. You remember what she just said. How Coriolanus was still so eagerly working with her on the Hunger Games. His hand on your back starts to burn you in an unpleasant way.

"Excuse me. I need to get some fresh air. It started to stink in here." you say, subtly implying that it's the scent of Coriolanus and his rose that bothers you as you walk away from them both.

You go to the roof of the penthouse, which is surprisingly empty, and take out a cigarette. You search for the lighter, thinking about what Gaul told you. Somehow you felt even more distant from Coriolanus... as if she emphatically confirmed what you already knew.

Your Coryo was completely gone. And there was nothing that could bring him back to you.

But why did you still care about him anyway?

"I didn't know you started smoking." you flinch when you hear his voice behind you.

You ignore him, trying to light the lighter, but to no avail. Apparently, today everything must have gone shitty for you. Seeing your struggles, he walks over to you. He takes a lighter from his pants pocket and holds it to your cigarette, lighting it.

"What the hell do you want?" you ask him madly, at which he raises his eyebrows, but he is not moving away from you.

"What? You won't even thank me? You know, I've helped you there. I could just leave you to talk with Gaul, but I walked in and took her attention from you." he says, stuffing the lighter and his hands into his pockets as he leans on the railing next to you, staring at the skyline of the Capitol below you.

"I didn't need a fucking hero. I could have left her at any time. Unlike you, I don't play vaseline, I don't humiliate myself, and I don't do anything I don't want to, just to please other people." you snort and blow a cloud of cigarette smoke at him. He coughs, looking at you offended, to which you just smirk.

"You know, I remember the time when you were doing everything in your power to please ME. In many, many ways, actually." he says, using his hand to wave away your clouds of cigarette smoke.

"Keep these memories close to you because they will never happen again. I'd rather be burned alive than ever sleep with you again." you say it with obvious disgust. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the furrow of anger forming between his eyebrows. "Don't frown. Or make-up artists will have a hard time covering your wrinkles."

"I have no idea why you are so aggressive and act madly when it comes to me. I didn't do anything to you." he responded firmly to your mocks, never taking those ice-blue irises off of you.

"That's the problem, Coriolanus! You think that you don't do anything wrong, when the truth is that you are taking actions that are terrible. I feel like puking just looking at you and thinking about how many children will suffer because of Dr. Gaul's and your crazy ideas." you burst out furiously at him. You are now standing opposite each other, both of you glaring at the other in a furious, defiant way.

"The Hunger Games are necessary."

"Bullshit." you interrupt him before he can make any arguments. You see him sigh, running a hand through his gelled hair.

You catch yourself subconsciously missing his curls and how you used to stroking them when he was lying with you on your couch and reading a set book for one of your classes…

"Have you ever been in the District? 10, 11, 12? No. You didn't. You have no idea what kind of people are leaving there. You live in the safety of the Capitol, and you have no idea how quickly these rats can start a civil war and rebellions. Did you forget what they did to us? How have we suffered? I lost my father, and my family went poor. I had to pretend that I was still a rich snob. Tgiris, my grandmother, and I starved more than once; they wanted to throw us out of the apartment. I had nothing but a meaningless name and family."

"You know, that was the time when you had everything. You had friends, family, and a girlfriend. My love and limitless devotion, respect, and admiration. Now what do you have left? Money? Power? Glory? Besides, people are not the same. They can be good, Coriolanus. The fact that you are too afraid to see or admit it is proof of how huge a coward you actually became." you say it disappointedly, dropping the cigarette to the floor and stomping on it.

"I am not..." he pauses as you look up at him, and your eyes meet. He thought that no one could silence him. But one look from you, full of resentment and sadness, makes him fall silent.

You make him feel weak. As if he was still that poor teenager who had to hide his family's terrible financial situation. Only now he's hiding the fact that your words are actually reaching him. That they actually hurt him.

He couldn't afford to have any weaknesses. He had to be strong, tough, and decisive. However, after one look at you, it was enough for him to begin to question everything he had learned under Dr. Gaul. To question everything he did after the fucking Hunger Games and Lucy Gray.

"Yes, you are. Everything you are doing and every bad decision you've made, you made out of fear. Fear of losing your life. Of losing your position. Of never coming back to the Capitol. You are a coward who desperately tries to play the brave man that matters in this world."

"You have no idea what it was like in the district! Or in the Hunger Games, when I had to get Sejanus out of there. You don't know what you would do in such a situation, so don't you dare stand there and judge me. Not when all I could think about in those days, what kept me away from absolute madness, was you." he says, desperately trying to present his actions to you as right, to make you understand his point of view and the reasons why he did all of these.

"Maybe not. Maybe I don't know what it's like. But I would never become the cause of the death of my best friend. You have his blood on your hands. I will never forgive you that." you notice him flinching at your words, but that's all you can see through the mask of indifference he suddenly decided to wear. But his eyes—his eyes and the emotions hidden in them—remind you so much of your Coryo.

"Do you think I have removed it from my memories? That his screams didn't haunt me in my dreams? That I simply forgot about him?"

"You are certainly on a good way to do it, Coriolanus." your soft whisper gives him goosebumps. You look at each other for a moment. When you realise he has nothing to say, you shake your head, laughing bitterly, mocking yourself for thinking for a moment that he really was more than just the cruel Gamemaker, and turn away.

You walk towards the exit, but suddenly you hear his quick footsteps behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist with one hand and holds your hands with the other, making sure you don't break away. He rests his forehead against the back of your head, inhaling your scent for a moment before whispering into your ear.

"Do you remember that place?" he asks, his nose stroking your cheek. "Our second date. Sejanus, let me take you to one of his parents' penthouses. They were supposed to be on vacation, but they came back earlier. We had to hide on the roof and wait since they would leave so we too could. We had a picnic here. I was holding you close to my chest, a little closer than I am doing now. It started to rain. I was furious because I wanted everything to be perfect for you, and as always, everything went terribly wrong. I wanted to look at the stars with you and run my hands through your hair while you fell asleep on my chest, cuddling up to me as if I were your teddy bear. I loved feeling the weight of you on me. In every circumstance. Anyway, we gathered everything and ran to your house. You let me into your room through the window. We took a hot shower together and..."

"And then happened the worst sex I've ever had." you interrupt him, trying to regain control of the situation. He only laughed at that, which made your heart skip a beat when, for the first time in so many months, you hear him laughing truly, not in a mocking, bitter, or fake way.

"The worst? Your moans and scratches on my back proved otherwise. Besides, considering it was the first time for both of us, I guess I did a good job. Your silky skin has haunted my dreams since that night. It never stopped. And judging by the way you are breathing right now, you also seem to think about that time fondly. We can do it again at my place tonight if you want. I am now in a much better position to truly make your nights unforgettable."

"I'd rather be bitten by one of Dr. Gaul's snakes, but thanks for the offer." you huff, getting out of his arms and pushing him away from you as you go to the exit of the Plinth's penthouse's roof.

"Don't tempt me. You know I can arrange it. Sucking the poison out of your delicate skin with my mouth is a really tempting alternative." he says, following you as you both return to the main hall.

"Disgusting pervert." you whisper over your shoulder so that only he can hear you in the crowd of elites and reporters who have gathered.

"Both of us, my darling. Both of us. But the point is..." he grabs your hand and helps you down the stairs as if he was a true gentleman. You would roll your eyes at this, but people have already noticed, you know, that you have hardened the mask of politeness on your face. "I remember everything. I am not losing my memory. I never will. Not about you. Not about us." he whispers, and you feel his blue eyes burning a hole into your temple with how intensely he stares at you.

"You must be mad to think that I will just go back to you. Besides, I don't have time for you. My voters are waiting for me."

He chuckles and gives you a mysterious, quizzical look that you can't read. But before you can analyse his stance, he pulls your hand to his mouth and places a gentle kiss on it. His full lips tease your skin, setting it alight with the reminder of all the times he's had the opportunity to do this.

He pulled away from you as quickly as he leaned into your hand. He smiles, giving you a view of his pearly teeth. How pleased the devil is...

"We shall see, my little petal." he whispers. Your old nickname he gave you one day is sounding as perfectly sweet as it used to, and you are not sure how much strength you have left in you to not let him melt your heart. Then he walks away from you, leaving you in the crowd of other people.

And you stand there, rooted to the floor, and all you can do is stare at the back of his head as you try to snap out of the feeling of his lips against your skin, trying not to dream of experiencing all of him again.

A week later, you were returning from another party. You managed to sneak out a little earlier than usual without anyone noticing. Relieved, you got into the empty elevator and pressed the button for the ground floor. You leaned against the wall and sighed, rubbing your neck, where you wore a diamond necklace. Your momentary alone relief didn't last long.

As usual, you smelled him first. The faint hint of roses hit you as the man leaned against the wall of the elevator next to yours, giving you some space. You glanced at him casually. This time, he didn't have a rose on his vest. He was also much paler.

"The makeup artists chose the wrong powder for you." you say, not knowing why you even initiated a conversation with him.

"Was Thomas so tired that he couldn't stay with you until the end? Was he too scared to hold on to the precious diamond that had fallen into his hands like a grain to a blind hen until the end of the night?" he responds to your taunt. You frown at the hint of jealousy in his voice.

Coryo has always been possessive and unsure of your relationship and whether you might leave him one day for someone better. Therefore, any man's attention towards you caused... unpleasant feelings for him. He obviously still had this behaviour towards you. Even though you were no longer together.

"He has an exam. Anatomy or some other shit. But don't worry, he will definitely accompany me when the election results are announced."

"Seriously? Are you now going to show off with that little boy-toy?" he asks you furiously. You can feel how his cold blue eyes are piercing right through you.

"Livia Cardew?" you scoff as well, opening your eyes to glare at him with an equally disgusted look. "But you know what? Actually, I'm not surprised. The biggest whore in Capitol. After you, of course."

"You slept with that whore 374 times. Which makes you equally slutty, little petal." he says with a cheeky smirk. You huff, folding your arms as you look at him in disbelief.

"I can't believe you were pathetic enough to actually count this."

"You're lucky I've lost count of the number of orgasms you've had because of me."

"And you are disgusting." you shake your head, impatiently waiting for the elevator to go down to the ground floor so you can get far away from him. You try hard not to think about all the times you had… done this.

But he doesn't let you go that easily. He leans down and brushes your hair back to give him better access to your ear to whisper.

"And you crave me as much as I crave you, my darling."

"Do you think that just because you started donating to charity organisations, I will suddenly fall into your arms or into your bed? You think I don't know you're doing this as part of a campaign? To get more votes? Are you that stupid to think that I will fall for it and believe that you are trying to be a better man for me?" you ask him, angry and defensive, mocking him.

"I'm starting to doubt my ability to do anything you could approve of. But it's nice that you still care about me enough to be interested in what I do."

"You can give up your candidature for president if you want to see me happy." he laughs at your words, looking at you with a mischievous smirk.

"And make it so easy for you? No way, my darling. We both know that only the two of us have a real chance of winning. You should finally surrender and join me. We both know this is where we'll end up. I, with you by my side, just as it has always been."

"Not always. I remember very well the time when it was only you and your songbird." the elevator is on the second floor when he aggressively presses the stop button.

You try very hard to hide from him the fact that you feel insecure in this situation. In a small space, with him practically at your fingertips, you don't know if you can control yourself. So you try to remember all the disgusting crimes he committed.

"It was just a game. A show for the Capitol. You know I had to win. It didn't end the way I wanted, but you know perfectly well that I had to do it." he says, placing his hands gently on your shoulders as he tries his hardest to keep your eyes on him and you standing still in your place for the time he talks.

"I've already told you this. There is always another choice." you growl in his face, furious, refusing to give up.

"You wouldn't even talk to me if I still remained a nobody. You would have dumped me the moment it became known to all Panem that my family was poor and that Snow's name meant nothing. And marrying you would only be a distant dream of a madman."

"As if you had any chance now." you mock him with a laugh. You somehow push him away from you and press the start button. The elevator starts moving down again.

"I have your parents' blessing."

"And my disgust and resentment towards you."

There is silence between you for a moment. He stubbornly stares at your face, trying to read some emotion there, but you give him nothing but a blank stare at the door in front of you as you impatiently wait for it to open.

"What do you do when you win?" his question catches you off guard for a moment. You look at him in shock.

"What?"

"What do you do when you win? Bring an end to the Hunger Games? Try to get me killed? Why are you doing all of this?" he asks, standing directly in front of you. Your chests rub against each other with every breath you take. You lift your head slightly, staring at him defiantly.

"So YOU won't win." you finally reply, shuddering as he takes your hand gently in his and starts tracing patterns on it with his thumb.

He leans towards you so that you could rest your chin on his shoulder if you wanted to. You shiver, feeling the warmth of his body close to yours and feeling his lips gently brush against your earlobe.

"Snow lands on top." he whispers, hot air caressing your ear as he bites the lobe of it.

"Y/L/N takes everything." you whine, digging your nails into his neck. He gasps in surprise, his hands gripping your waist tightly as he presses you against the elevator wall with his body.

"Or nothing. But don't worry. When I win, there will be no one who can stop me from marring you."

"IF you win, then I will be gone. You will never find me. Just like your little songbird." you can see the fury in his eyes at the mere mention of her. His grip on you tightens.

"She is not mine. You are. Accept it and end this. You don't want to be president. I do. There is nothing more powerful than you and me, so and this damn kind of punishment for me and accept your place as my First Lady."

"Maybe I don't want this… but it will be so funny to watch you fail," you say, tilting your head and watching him closely as his nostrils flare with rage at your stubbornness. "Besides, I'd rather shoot myself in the head than be your wife."

"There was a time when you wanted it. When it was all we dreamed of. You and me. Together. Against the whole world."

"That's how it was. When I thought you were worth something more, when you were my top priority. I thought you wanted something more than money and power, but it looks like I never meant for you that much to be as important to you as you were to me. Or maybe I didn't know you at all." you say, no longer hiding the hurt in your voice, and you press the button on the damn elevator to get away from him.

You promised yourself that you wouldn't show him how much he hurt you or how much you missed him. But apparently he wanted to make sure he destroyed not only your Coryo but you as well.

You look away from him, ignoring the fact that he suddenly went quiet next to you. All he did was look at you. And you avoided his gaze, afraid that you would melt in front of him and that you would show him your heart again.

The elevator opens, and you sigh in relief. However, it doesn't last long. You tense up when you see reporters downstairs, waiting at the exit.

"Smile for the picture." you say, and drag him with you towards the exit.

You quickly let go of his arm as he obediently follows you, and you try to ignore the fact that his fingers lightly brush against your hand as if he wants to grab it. You move away from him gently and quickly walk past the reporters and paparazzi.

You quickly get into your car and nod to the driver to go. You lean back in your seat and sigh deeply, placing a hand over your racing heart. You can't help but glance at Coriolanus.

Thanks to your car's tinted windows, he can't see you. Still, he watches your car with his eyes, and for a small moment, you think that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't all rotten to the core. Maybe, in his twisted way, he still cares about you.

The first round of elections was behind you. As you expected, Coriolanus and you achieved the greatest results. The game for the presidency of Panem has begun to be fought solely between you two.

And you were about to play the first dirty card against him. Clemensia nods at you as you head towards the podium and the microphone.

"Good evening, everyone. Thank you very much for all your votes and the trust you have placed in both me and my, well, rival after all." people chuckle gently, you find Coriolanus' curious gaze in the crowd. "I am convinced that, no matter who of us wins the upcoming elections, Panem will be in good hands anyway." You see a glimmer of hope shining in his eyes as he comes closer, moving freely through the crowd. The look in his blue eyes never leaves you for a minute. You would tremble, intimidated by his attention, if you didn't know, what would happen in a few minutes. "Without further ado, I would like to introduce someone who will certainly make this evening more pleasant. You have no idea how much I had to beg our star of the evening to agree to perform today. Ladies and gentlemen. At my ask and to your delight. The one and only Lucy Gray Baird!"

As you leave the stage, you glance at Coriolanus, seeing him staring at the woman with the guitar appearing on stage in shock and mild horror.

You stand further away from the crowd, on the other side of the room—as far away from Coriolanus as you can be—and watch him carefully, leaning against the wall.

You have to admit that Lucy Gray is stunningly beautiful. And the legend she has created around herself, her voice, and her skills only make her more perfect in the eyes of others.

You're not surprised that she charmed Coriolanus months ago and now. In fact, you expect Snow, too overcome with emotion upon meeting her again, to forget his façade and pursue her. With a bit of luck, maybe your people will be able to take compromising photos of him.

But you are surprised when, after watching her for a while, he shifts his gaze to the crowd of people, looking for something. You freeze when his eyes meet yours. You raise an eyebrow, not sure why, instead of staring at the girl, he stubbornly searches for your gaze. Or rather, you don't want to admit that you know the reason why, because that's exactly why you quickly leave the great hall of parliament and run away from the man who is now walking towards you.

And much to your misfortune, Coriolanus Snow learns from his mistakes. That's why you suddenly bump into someone a few metres from the exit at the end of the corridor leading to the elevator. You collide against a wall of toned muscles. His arms quickly wrap around you, keeping you from falling.

"Leaving so soon?" his whisper sent unwanted shivers down your spine, as did how close your face was to his.

"Get your hands off me." you snap at him and get out of his grip. You stare at the elevator, contemplating how to get past him and get in, but he sees your intentions in your eyes and blocks any escape route with his body.

"What game are you playing?" he asks, staring at you. You lift your head, returning his defiant glare. "I don't even care how the hell you found her. Why is she here? What do you need her for?"

"Shouldn't you try to catch your little songbird before she flies away again?" you mock, ignoring all of the questions he asked you.

"I am." he says, staring firmly at you, making you more confused by his actions than before. He should have been after Lucy Gray… why the hell was he keeping you pinned to the wall, blocking your only escape route with his body?

"What?"

"I am not letting you run away. We are solving this here and now." he says this, looking around the hall. You take advantage of his moment of inattention and try to free yourself from his strong grip, but he doesn't move even an inch in your struggle. Fuck his peacekeeper training.

"We have nothing to solve, get it into your stupid head!" you shout at him in frustration, unable to get out of his arms.

"You know what your main problem is? You don't allow yourself the idea that you might be wrong or that you don't know everything about me. I may be a monster, but I've never lied to you. About anything. Lucy Gray and I had nothing when you were with me. Whoever gave you these stupid rumours was lying. Ask her. She'll tell you that the only thing I did was kiss her. When I was drunk in District 12, exactly the day after I got there. And do you know why? Because I was convinced I had fucked up my life and I would never see your damn face again. And fuck, even kissing her couldn't get you out of my mind. All I thought was you. All I think about is you. I can admit it out loud. How about you?"

"I despise you." you growl angrily, struggling in his arms.

"Yes? Then why did you frame Livia for engagement to Festus? You think I don't know it's because of you that they were caught fucking in the garden together?"

"I wanted to discredit you. Show that your girlfriend is sleeping with anyone on the side. Besides, you made Thomas fail at university, and he had to retake his exams today, which is why he couldn't show up. I had to take revenge."

"No. You were jealous of me. You wanted to get rid of her and you did. Why are you playing the gardener dog? Why don't you just admit that you want me?" you roll your eyes at him, trying your hardest to hold on to your internal irritation and fury at him. But it was a very demanding task, considering how his mesmerising icy-blue eyes were now watching you very carefully.

"I don't want you." you say, trying to sound firm but also a little indifferent, enough for him to believe you. But you can see by the way his eyebrow raises that you've screwed up something.

"Yes? Then kiss me." his sudden command leaves you extremely stunned. You almost lose the fight with yourself to keep your jaw from opening from shock.

"What?"

"If you despise me, if you don't care about me, then you will have no problem with kissing me and walking away like nothing had happened." he explains, moving closer to you, your noses brushing against each other, you feel his breath brush against your lips, and the warmth of his mouth is so close that it makes you feel as if you could actually touch him.

"Let me go. I'm not going to make a fool of myself for your own amusement. Those days are gone forever; we are not a couple, and we will never be together again. Get over it!"

"Then kiss me. C'mon. Prove your point. Kiss me as if you hate me. As if you despise every little part of me just as much as you claim. Prove that you have absolutely no feelings towards me despite hatred and grudges."

And God, you want it. You want it so much that it hurts you not to be able to press your lips to his right here and now.

You know that the moment your lips meet his, all your cold demeanour towards him will melt away like snow in spring. You know that you will easily return to his arms, giving yourself to him and proving nothing in your favor. And you've come so far—too far—to let him see past your facade now, to let him make you want him even more than you already do.

You shiver as he leans in so that his nose brushes yours as he gently cups your cheeks in his hands. He doesn't make the first move. Of course not. This cunning snake tempts you to give in to your greatest, darkest desires, which you feel ashamed of for having managed to survive in the recesses of your heart.

"End this torment. For both of us sake."

Just a gentle touch, you think, hearing his whisper and feeling his body softly press against yours, complementing you perfectly as always. One taste of his lips. Just one...

Your heart beats fast, and your breaths are mingling in the small space still left between you two. With a trembling hand, he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. His fucking eyes are all you can look at, the unspoken request shining so brightly in them that you can't mistake his desire for anything else. And you give in, tilting your head to place your lips so close to him...

A loud bang makes you both pull away from each other. A drunk senator staggers towards the elevator, nodding at the two of you. He mumbles something under his breath, and after a quick glance towards Coriolanus and a nod of his head, you decide that he will walk him away and make sure he doesn't tell (or remember) how outrageously close the two of you were just moments ago.

You walk back to the party, trying to calm down enough to let the blush fade from your cheeks.

You make sure that Clem sends Lucy to her hiding place after her performance, and you continue to politely smile and pose for photos, promoting your allegiance.

And the next day, when you are reading the morning newspaper, you notice in one of the photos that this bastard put a rose behind your ear.

It was raining heavily.

It was late at night as you were preparing for your speech the next day. You walked around your room with a piece of paper in your hand, gesturing and practicing proper intonation and posture.

“Miss Y/L/N?” you stop when you hear the voice of one of your maids. "We have… an unusual situation."

"What? Did something happen?" you ask, confused at her uncertain tone of voice.

"It depends on how you interpret the situation, miss." you raise an eyebrow at her questioningly. She points to the window. You frown in surprise, but walk over to the window anyway.

"What the bloody hell is he doing here?" you whisper, seeing Coriolanus standing in your garden. He was completely soaked. His hair and coat were soaked with water, clinging to him as he stared at your window, standing still as the rain hit him.

"David says he's been there for several hours. He tried to talk to him and get him to leave, but Mr. Snow… just stands there."

Your first instinct would be to close the curtains and pretend he wasn't there, but you didn't want to think about the scandal that would start if anyone found out that your rival was standing outside your window in the full rain like some lovesick puppy. It was obvious he had to be here for a reason. It was probably some dirty play on his part. Something that was intended to negatively impact your candidature.

But then you looked at him. Even when you showed up, his gaze was... disturbingly empty. He couldn't fake it that well. It was not like he could completely hide his reaction to seeing you.

"Does anyone else know about this?" she shakes her head, and you sigh. You have no idea why he's standing outside your window in the heavy rain. You're just thanking fate for him choosing the day your parents left the Capitol to behave so strangely. You just hoped no meddlesome paparazzi saw him. "All right. Make sure it stays that way." you ask her and walk out of your room.

Walking downstairs to get to your coat and umbrella, you wonder why the hell he's standing outside in front of your mansion, staring at your window, risking getting sick with all the rain pouring down on him furiously.

It has happened before that he was standing under your window. Before this whole Hunger Games thing started, Dr. Gaul and Lucy Gray he would often sneak up to you through your window to talk about what was bothering him.

But that was a long time ago. And now you had no idea what he was doing out there and in all this rain.

You wrap your coat around yourself and take an umbrella as you go outside. The rain somehow seeps through your shields, hitting you unpleasantly. Water droplets start to soak into your clothes. You wonder how he stayed there for so many hours.

"What the hell are you doing here? Are you crazy?! Is this another one of your sick tricks against me?!" you shout, walking towards him. But he doesn't answer. His eyes are locked on you as he stands there, motionless. You notice that his eyes are bloodshot from crying, and his hands are shaking slightly, as well as all of his body. You don't know if it's from the cold or from crying. "Coriolanus?" you ask, starting to seriously worry about him.

He trembles even more, not looking at you. He fixes his gaze on your shoes. What worries you is that he is completely oblivious to the rain pouring down on him. As if he didn't feel anything at all anymore.

“Alright, come on.” you say, pulling him by the arm towards your mansion. You hide him a bit under the umbrella, but it doesn't change the fact that he's soaked like a dog. Maybe even worse.

His silence, the lack of any emotion on his face, worries you. You haven't seen him like this before. So… empty.

You enter the house through the back entrance. You put the umbrella down and turn towards him. Seeing that he's still not reacting to any stimuli and acting like he's on some kind of autopilot, you walk up to him and start unbuttoning his coat.

He doesn't comment on your behavior. Neither do you say anything. You just want to get him out of all those wet clothes so he won't get seriously sick... You have no idea why you worry or why you care. Maybe you are on some kind of autopilot too.

As you lead him to your room, you are involuntarily reminded of all the times he snuck there with you. When you were still the closest people to each other in this world. When you came to each other for comfort. When you were each other's only shelter.

"I should still have some of your old clothes here. You should go change and take a warm bath. There's no way you wouldn't get sick after this." you say, walking over to your clothes chest and looking for some of his old shirts and pants.

"Grandma'am is dead." he says it in an empty, emotionless tone of voice. You freeze in shock and slowly turn to face him. He still stands where you left him, his gaze blankly fixed on the space next to you.

You don't say anything. You don't know what to tell him anyway. You just stare at him, waiting for him to say something more. It bothers you how he just… doesn't do anything. Acting as if all that was left of him was an outer shell, a facade that barely held together.

You walk up to him and take his cold hand hesitantly into yours. You stare at them for a moment and look up, meeting his icy, bloodshot eyes.

"I... I am so sorry, Coriolanus." his bitter laugh at your words might be a good sign after his disturbing behaviour earlier, but somehow it worries you even more than his silent attitude and blank stare.

''You will never forgive me, will you? You will always see me only as a monster? As a murder and nothing more?" he asks, hearing that you still call him by his name, even at a time like this. The version he hated, instead of the sweet nickname he hadn't heard in a long time. Which even Tigris stopped using.

"Thta's not..." you start, concerned at the calm tone in which he says it. As if the truth of what was happening between you was starting to dawn on him.

"This is exactly what I am to you! A heartless monster! But you know what?! I AM NOT! And you... you are a hypocrite." he starts getting angry and pushes your hands away from him as he paces around your room.

"Me?!" you scream at him, disbelieving. You step in front of him, blocking his path and forcing him to face you.

"YES! You! You may not be a murderer, but you do something much worse. Your indifference, your hatred, and your aversion towards me—do you think it doesn't do anything to me? You've been killing me and hurting me day after day since I left the fucking Capitol and was sentenced to exile. And since I came back, your face, your voice, and your memories haunt me more than ever before. Missing you is killing me. Watching you from afar is killing me. Not being able to hold you in my arms is killing me. You said you could confidently say you're not a murderer. I do not agree. You kill me every day, and each time in a more cruel way. But all I can do is follow you like some faithful puppy, waiting for you to change your mind and give me a chance to show you that I'm not lost, that I'm not a monster, and that I didn't WANT any of this to happen! I spend every sleepless night, when I can't pass out in bed due to exhaustion and lack of sleep, thinking about you! And even now... when my life is falling apart around me, all I can do is... come to you. Just like I've always done."

He's shaking with emotion, and you think you've never seen him so moved or so shaken before. You wonder if he might have gotten drunk, but those thoughts quickly leave you when he suddenly leans down and wraps you in his arms. He buries his face in your neck, inhaling your scent as he continues to shiver. His wet clothes start to soak yours, but all you feel is his breath on the skin of your neck.

"I miss you so much, petal…" he whispers, and you stroke his wet hair, unable to tell if it's his tears soaking the collar of your shirt or his wet clothes or skin from rain. In fact, it doesn't really matter to you at all right now.

"Why did you come here? Of all places…"

"And where else could I go?" he interrupts you, his eyes looking at you so… pleadingly. As if there really was no other place on earth he could go in such a situation, where he could wallow in his grief and despair.

"I don't know… to Livia or…" he cuts you off before you can finish your sentence. He tangles his hand in your hair and pulls you in for a kiss. His lips are terribly cool against yours, but it only enhances how amazing you feel as he caresses your lips tenderly with his. 

He slowly steals the warmth from you, which you're strangely happy about while he's deepening the kiss. You press yourself against him, slowly warming him up, his wet clothes uncomfortably transferring their wetness to yours, which you ignore in favour of kissing him. Just like the drops of cold water dripping from his hair onto your forehead, which doesn't sober you up and doesn't make you move away from him. If anything, you place your hand around his neck and pull him closer.

Eventually, though, you both have to pull away, gasping for air. You both take shaky breaths, his forehead resting against yours, as your senses slowly begin to come back to you. But you're secretly glad that his hands don't leave you as he uses the pad of his thumb to stroke your cheek, your lips, your cheekbone, anywhere he has a chance to touch you, as long as he doesn't take his hand away from your face.

"Only you saw me in my fragile form. Only you saw my shattered heart and the shell of myself. I... only allow myself to be vulnerable with you." he whispers with his eyes closed, keeping his forehead pressed against yours, trying his best to hold on to you as if you were his only anchor.

"Being sad, mad, or vulnerable doesn't mean being weak. Don't be ashamed of having emotions. I... all I ever wanted... was for you to... to be something more than all of these people in the Capitol. To be someone more than what Dr. Gaul tried to mould you into. You are a good man, Coryo. Please show me that you can still be that man. That my friend and lover is still there."

You don't talk to each other anymore after that. You don't know whether he has heard your request or is even considering granting it. All you know is that you lost that night. That the rational part of you had gone to fuck itself, seeing him so vulnerable and hurt, just as you were.

So, when he tries to break away from you and walk away, you grab his wrist tightly, stopping him.

"Stay. Don't go." you whisper. You don't know if it's a request or an order. He doesn't think twice about it either, turning back to you after a moment and pulling you into his chest as he holds you tightly in his arms and buries his face in your hair.

And he stays. You manage to get him to take a hot shower and some medicine in case he catches a cold.

This night, you fell asleep in each other's arms. Every now and then you stop stroking his hair, his back, and drawing patterns on his chest to use the pad of your thumb to gently wipe away the tears that sometimes fall from his gorgeous blue eyes.

And in the morning, when all that remains from him is a scent of him, of his cologne, and a dent on the pillow, you can't help but feel disappointed and silently hope that maybe your Coryo is still alive.

You haven't had a chance to be alone with him since then. You both are too busy running your campaign and the ongoing rivalry between you two.

However, you notice that he has stopped sending gifts, late-night phone calls, or other ways of getting your attention. Whatever relationship you had was purely political. You didn't know whether to be happy or cry.

Tigris stopped talking about him. You don't know if it's a good change, but she doesn't mention her cousin anymore. She was quieter after her grandmother died. The black clung to her wardrobe and skin, highlighting her paler than usual complexion.

It was the evening they were supposed to announce the election results.

You took the elevator to the top floor of the Snow apartment, picking up Tigris and Clem on the way and heading to your house to either celebrate your success or failure.

You sigh tiredly, leaning against the elevator behind you. You close your eyes and listen as it moves up to the next floor.

You open your eyes when you hear a soft, buzzing sound. Things have changed a bit since you were last here. The interior was, of course, renovated and more elegant, but somehow... more emptier.

You try to shake off the feeling as you go further.

"Tigris?! I'm here!" you shout as you enter the living room.

You look around curiously, waiting for the blonde. You walk over to the bookshelf, looking through its contents. You choose one of the books and sit on the couch, but before you open it, you notice a framed photo on the coffee table.

You take the frame in your hands and look at an old photo of you and Coryo at the end of one year at the Academy. You cup your hand around his cheek, pulling him closer to you as you press a kiss on his cheek.

You smile as you remember the circumstances of taking this photo.

Sejanus found an old camera among his father's belongings. He insisted on taking photos to celebrate the end of a difficult year of study for all of you. You didn't know that Sejan developed the photos and gave them to Coriolanus.

And you certainly didn't expect him to keep them.

“I'm afraid Tigris is not here.” you place the photo on the coffee table and slowly turn towards Coriolanus. His hair is not combed with gel; it is slightly messy, and he has those adorable, damn curls on his head again. "She left a few minutes ago. You must have passed each other."

"Oh. She probably went to Clem's." you say, standing there slightly awkwardly and looking at him. He's wearing a black shirt and pants. Slightly wrinkled for your taste and definitely too wrinkled for his. "Are you alone?" you ask, unable to stop yourself.

"I am." he says, putting his hands in his pockets, walking around the couch so that he's now standing next to you, and picking up the book you were planning to read before Tigris came downstairs. "I guess your Thomas is waiting for you at your home."

"We... kind of broke up. Well, we weren't together, but… our paths diverged." you admit, taking the opportunity to have his back turned to you as he walked over to put the book back on the shelf. You can see his shoulders tense slightly. You've never wanted to run your hands down his muscular back more.

"What a pity. Right when I remembered his name…" he murmured. You take a few steps towards him, the click of your high heels echoing throughout the empty apartment.

"You always knew it, you were just too offended and angry to use it." he chuckles at your words and turns to face you, leaning his back gently against the bookshelf.

"Maybe." he hums, nodding his head, his eyes studying you intently.

"Maybe." you repeat after him, warmth rising in your chest as you see a stray strand of his hair fall onto his forehead.

"You should go back. I believe they will announce the results soon." he moves past you to grab the photo from the coffee table and places it on the chest of drawers next to the chair next to the bookcase. In the meantime, he turned on the TV, and he was right—they were going to report the results soon.

"What will you do if… you don't win?" you ask him, and he freezes for a moment. He sets things on the shelf, trying to arrange everything perfectly as he ponders his answer. You are getting a little nervous since you can't see his eyes or facial expression.

"I'll think of something for myself. Don't be happy. You won't be able to dance over my grave for a long time." you snort, shaking your head in amusement at his answer.

"I believe that in this case, it will be you who will be dancing at my funeral. And quite quickly."

"Stop it. You know damn well that I would never hurt you." he snaps at your answer as he turns to face you. You have been taken aback by his sudden reaction, but your defense system quickly kicked in.

"Sejanus..."

"I regret it every fucking day. Every day I wake up in the morning and don't see you on the other side of my bed. Every day I spend time surrounded by people I can't trust. Every day when I see Tigris' betrayed look and your disappointed, hurt gaze, it haunts my dreams as much as his screams. And maybe I'm a monster because I really don't care if he lives or dies, but I REGRET IT. Honestly. By you. Because of you. Because I lost you. I... I had lost you." he whispers the last sentence, as if it's only now dawning on him what really happened. It breaks your heart to see him like this, especially after what happened a few weeks ago.

"Coriolanus..." you say this and reach out to grab his arm, but this time he's the one pulling away from you. And the treatment you've gotten from him, just the same as you've once treated him, is tasting bitter.

"Just leave." he says, his eyes averting from you as he stares at the window overlooking the Capitol.

You walk up to him and place your hand on his shoulder. He turns his gaze away from the city in front of him and looks at you questioningly, not understanding what you are doing right now.

'Coriolanus... I..."

"And the president of Panem becomes… Y/N Y/L/N! Congratulations, Madam President!" the hosts' shouts and fanfare echo from the television, interrupting you. It takes you a while to realise what happened. Your hand falls from his shoulder as you stare dazedly at the TV behind him. You won. You became president.

Realisation hits you. You have no idea what will happen next. And... you're afraid. But not that you can't handle it. Not that you'll have a lot of new responsibilities, or even how many people you'll have to deal with from now on. NO. You are afraid that HE will never be close to you again. And the last few weeks... the last few weeks, maybe even months—had shown you that you couldn't live without him next to you anymore.

You needed Coriolanus Snow… as much as he needed you.

"Congratulations." his words snap you out of your shock and numbness. He sticks out his hand, waiting for you to take it and shake it. But you can only stand there, staring at him as you try to sort out your feelings. "You won't even shake my hand? Am I not worth even that, Madam President?"

You shake your head.

You hear him snort, laughing bitterly at your action, believing this is another example of your stubborn behaviour towards him. He drops his hand, obviously hurt, and is about to respond when you suddenly take a step towards him, cup his cheeks in your hands, and pull him in for a kiss.

He is surprised. Probably the same as you, but he gets over it rather quickly as he automatically responds to your kiss, caressing your lips with his as fervently as ever.

At some point, you end up on his couch, your hands moving from his neck to under his shirt. Your touch breaks him out of the trance you put him in. He takes your hands in his and moves them away from his body.

"I don't want your pity." he huffs, pulling away from you as he stands in front of the couch. You pull him towards you by his shirt so that he's straddling you, and you kiss him again, effectively silencing him as your hands land on the buttons of his shirt.

"You've never had it." you mumble between kisses, trailing your fingers over the bare skin and muscles of his back, and he moans softly into your neck, leaving a few hickeys there along his way to the buttoms of your own blouse. "It was always either my love or grudge."

"And now?" he asks, moving away from you again. His blue eyes stare intently into yours, and you know your answer depends on how this evening goes. And you missed the comforting feeling of his skin against yours too much to worry about his morality, of which you were apparently the sole soul that wanted and was able to take care of.

"Both of them." you reply, licking your lips. Maybe he was right from the beginning? Maybe you were destined to end up together? Maybe you were really the only thing that could keep him on the right path? But were you willing to devote your life to keeping him in check?

"I can work with that." you moan as he kisses you while lifting you off the couch. Your blouse falls somewhere on the floor as he carries you along the familiar path to his bedroom.

His lips caress yours gently like never before. His hands are practically everywhere, gently stroking every bit of your exposed skin. He pins you against his bedroom door and sucks on your neck, leaving a hickey. You moan again, causing the same reaction from him.

"Please, don't ever leave me again." he whispers into your mouth before trying to devour you again.

"Then don't give me a reason to do it." you whisper back, combing his hair as he pulls away from you enough to open the door. He kisses you all the way to his bed, stroking your waist gently.

He lays you down on the bed, his mouth moving to your neck, licking and sucking, leaving a few marks there as his hands moved down to the button of your pants.

"Wait. Wait." he listens to you immediately. He freezes, lifting his head to look at you with concern and a worried expression on his face. "You're not mad that I won?" he gives you such a beautiful smile and laugh that, for a moment, all you can do is watch him.

He was so ethereal... breathtaking in every sense of this word. You have no idea how you managed to stay away from him for that long... even knowing what he did.

"I love you. I have always loved you and always will. I'll get over the fact that you won't be my First Lady."

"Well... you can be my First Lord... or something like that..." he laughs at that and leans in to kiss you. You cup his cheeks in your hands and pull him closer to you. You moan into his mouth as his bare skin touches yours.

You whine in protest as he pulls away from you. He looks deep into your eyes and caresses your cheek tenderly with his hand.

"You sure?" you smile slightly and nod, placing your hands on his shoulders as he pulls you closer to him again. "We shall create a dynasty, my beautiful little petal." he promises you, placing soft kisses on your collarbones. You run your hands through his blond locks, pulling his head and lips to yours. "My most precious diamond." he plants another kiss, this time on the corners of your mouth, undoing your bra. "Mine."

"Coryo..." you moan, and he responds in kind, happy to finally hear his nickname falling lovingly from your lips like it used to.

You don't care what happens next. What will happen the next day? What will happen when you take over as president? Will he try to gain more influence than you? Will he continue working for Gaul? Or maybe you will unite your forces and create a presidential couple that Panem has never seen before. You do not know. All he cares about is his touch, his mouth, and his body against you.

And in the morning, when you wake up wrapped in his arms as he places kisses on your temple and tenderly, lazily draws patterns on your back with his fingers, you realise how good it was to be back where you belonged.

You realise how good it felt to wake up in your Coryo's arms again. Even if neither of you were the same person you once were. And you will certainly have more than one fight, dramatic breakup or silent fight for influence and power.

But after all, love was stronger than any grudge you could feel towards your Coryo... or at least as long as he still was him.

#oneshot #young coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coryo snow #coryo #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow x y/n #coriolanus x y/n #coryo x reader #corionalus snow #snow x reader #corio snow #snow lands on top #tigris snow #coryo x you #toxic love #romance #angst #argument #argue with the wall #kissing #clemensia dovecote #tbosbas #ballad of songbirds and snakes #hunger games #angst with a happy ending #hurt/comfort

[lyneira]

♡ an accidental kiss?! that's so cliche 💋 ♡

-> reaching over to grab something behind them, your footing slips, causing you to fall forward and accidentally kiss them. How would they react?

lyneira's 1.2k milestone event

Confesses to you

Kaveh, Baizhu, Dainsleif, Cyno, Zhongli, Alhaitham

They'd seem less shocked than you'd thought they'd be. If you only knew how they felt for you, then this wouldn't be much of a surprise. They've been wanting to kiss you for the longest time after all. So, he'd decide to take this opportunity to finally let you know.

When you break away from his lips, trying to apologize, he'll quickly grab your hand before you can increase the distance between yourselves any further, silencing you and causing you to look at him directly in the eyes. The look he had in them was one you've never seen before: so sultry, so intense, and full of desire. And if you tried to look away, he'd whisper huskily, "Y/n...look at me", gently grabbing you by your chin to turn your face towards him. "I love you, you know that? ...and If you feel the same way, would you give me the pleasure of tasting your lips once more?"

Asks if you're okay

Kazuha, Tighnari, Ayato, Albedo

Their first reaction is to ask if you're okay. I think they'd be more concerned about your clumsiness during the moment, wanting to make sure that you didn't hurt yourself falling onto him like that. It would nearly seem as if the kiss didn't mean much to them, but oh honey, it meant a lot.

Afterwards, they'd keep glancing at your lips, recalling how they felt and tasted for the first time. Your lips were as sweet as he thought they'd be. He'd also wonder if you enjoyed the kiss too, because although the kiss was quick and on accident, he sure did.

They'll be as red as a tomato

Itto, Thoma, Gorou

You would surprise and fluster them enormously when your lips fall onto theirs that they'd go all red. Even when you break away from the kiss, they'd be like a deer in headlights, eyes widened and mouth still hanging open. They'd just be so overwhelmed by this sudden type of contact from you, the one whom they've been yearning for. It's not unwanted contact at all. Heck, he's wanted this so badly. Now that the moment finally came and had shocked him like this, he's just at a loss for words.

If you offer to give him a real, intentional kiss, then he’ll grow even redder, and will manage to whisper a small, "y-yes, please...I would like that", voice cracking a bit

Tells you to be more careful

Diluc, Xiao, Kaeya, Scaramouche

After you two part lips, he'd mutter a soft, "Hey, be careful", while covering his mouth with the back of his hand. You might think that he was annoyed by the way his brows were slightly furrowed, but that deep blush that was currently staining his cheeks said something different. Sure, he tells you to be careful, but if your clumsiness resulted in you kissing him, then really, he wouldn't mind if you were this clumsy around him more often.

Takes it lightly

Venti, Heizou, Childe

They'd honestly laugh it off and joke a bit about it like, "Wow, that just happened! ...You didn't do that on purpose did you? 🤨🤭". Yet, at the same time, he'd be "unintentionally" flirtatious about it as well, cupping your cheek and lightly sliding his thumb across your bottom lip, "You have soft lips, y/n. Very kissable", he'd grin. "What did you think of mine? If you don't remember, we could always try kissing again", he'd then wink at you

Bonus:

Would deepen the kiss

Alhaitham, Ayato, Dainsleif, Heizou, Childe

This category is the most similar to the first one.

These are the guys who would have the guts too hold you by the shoulders and deepen this kiss, savoring the taste of your lips. Most of them are the types who have gotten tired of holding in their feelings for so long that they take this chance to finally release that tension. So if you didn't know that he liked you before, then now you do. He'll enjoy seeing the flustered look on your face when you two part lips afterwards.

Buuuuut if you reciprocate his fervor? He'll be even more motivated to give it back tenfold and will completely devour your lips. He'd give you barely any time to breathe in between kisses that both of you will be panting by the end of your steamy makeout session.

a/n: I feel like some of the dialogue was kinda ooc here and there but I'm feeling all sappy and romantic today so imma just roll with it lol

© 2023 lyneira. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, PLAGIARIZE, OR REPOST MY WRITING ONTO OTHER PLATFORMS

#genshin impact x reader #kaveh x reader #albedo x reader #alhaitham x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #zhongli x reader #childe x reader #scaramouche x reader #kazuha x reader #heizou x reader #venti x reader #cyno x reader #tighnari x reader #ayato x reader #itto x reader #thoma x reader #gorou x reader #baizhu x reader #dainsleif x reader #xiao x reader #nene writes~♡ #events~☆

[duke-daemon]

hazbin hotel redesigns wooooooooo

okay so. i'm gonna discuss my thoughts about them n shit, putting under a readmore bc it's gonna get long and rambley. sorry in advance for the shit formatting, i'm on mobile </3

just some general shit about how i would rewrite it. i think the premise of redeeming sinners is entertaining but is executed horribly. i also am a fan of the "heaven isn't great either" idea but again, executed horribly. i'd make the hierarchy of angels more accurate because it's cool as hell and i have autism about it. the characters from hell would swear still (albeit not as much), but the angels would outright refuse to swear or make vulgar jokes ever. this would be partially to further the gap between heaven and hell and make the differences more stark.

hell would also be more like dante's inferno (again because i think its cool). the ars goetia would get a full redesign and would be more prevalent in demonic society.

now for the characters!

---

VAGGIE VALTIEL:

starting off with vaggie, or Valtiel as i've renamed her because let's be honest her original name sucks. Valtiel (Val for short) was an aspiring power angel who wanted to be an exorcist. she looked up to lute and thought the idea of killing demons was really cool and badass. however when she actually was on the field for the first time she discovered how awful this actually was. she tried to help a few demons but lute figured it out and felled her right then and there. the rest of her story is relatively the same. personality wise she's more stoic and less prone to all-out aggression. she still get angry, sure, but it's in a quieter and more menacing way. you DO NOT want to fuck with Valtiel.

CHARLIE:

next up is charlie! i had two ideas for her. the first one (unsettling drawing) has her as a mannequin/doll type demon. lucifer and/or lilith was unable to conceive and as such they built a kid from scratch. she's overall similar to og charlie personality wise, very kind and cheerful despite her unsettling appearance. she struggles with empathy sometimes but really does mean well. her motive for rehabilitating sinners is so they get to see their family again. being able to see heaven from where they are in hell must make them sad, so she wants to help make them happy again!

the second idea for charlie has her as an angel. specifically i casted her as a dominion angel due to their reputation as holy judges. she was once a demon but has been rehabilitated and has risen into angelhood! she now wants to help her former kin do the same and redeem themselves in heaven's gaze. again, similar cheery personality, but a bit more prudish in this rendition

tangent time!

as a side tangent, valtiel and charlie would have a different relationship in this rewrite. their relationship felt shoehorned in in the original show, like it was just there for the hell of it. we didn't see much development between them and it just felt kinda bland. so in my rewrite, charlie and valtiel are amiable exes. they tried dating when valtiel first fell (when charlie was still a demon in the charlie-angel version) but realized their feelings for each other were much more platonic than romantic. they ended things off on good terms, deciding they were much better as friends. they are still besties to this day! later charlie ends up with emily (or 'ellie' as i plan to rename her)

back to the characters

Alastor:

note: i made alastor mixed-race, which could be seen as bad by some due to vivzie saying he's black. however, as many have pointed out, he has no ethnic features whatsoever and i honestly wouldn't be surprised if she said that just to get away with using voodoo symbols (a closed religion) in his imagery/design. like viv, i am incredibly white and have little to no knowledge of voodoo, and even if i did i would not use it for something like this anyways due to the stigma the religion already has and (again) it being a closed practice. as such i removed it from his concept altogether, but made him mixed race (white passing) because.. why not i guess, i forgor my actual reasoning

with that being said...

alastor is by far my favorite of the redesigns and i'm honestly tempted to turn him into a legally distinct oc. i imagine he's somewhat reserved, along the lines of norman bates albeit a bit more extroverted. during his life he was a serial killer with a day job as a radio announcer. he took pleasure in reporting about his own murders on the radio, but that is eventually what got him caught (ie accidentally letting slip info that wasn't released to the public). as a result he was sentenced to death. upon arriving in hell, he quickly rose through the ranks to borderline overlord status and is a feared presence by demons and sinners alike. why is he bothering to assist in the hotel project? who knows... his motives are a mystery, like the rest of what he does

(he isn't actually alastair crowley i just thought the naming convention was ironic. however he may have also dabbled with satanic magic in lifetime..)

Angel Dust:

TW: brief discussion of SA

this is definitely my second favorite redesign. i loooove insect themes and wanted to do more than just Extra Arms, so he now has fucked up legs and a lot of eyes too! story-wise, angel used to be a criminal mastermind, hated by both the mafia and the feds. he was a gentleman thief, arranging massive heists under the cover of night while also partaking in the occasional drag show. he ended up a cocaine addict later in life, which caused his work to become sloppier. eventually he was killed in a heist gone wrong, specifically shot by the police.

i'm not gonna go too in-depth on the SA part of his story, but he is hypersexual due to being assaulted in both his life and afterlife. it would be something he'd be working on in the rewrite. his reason for coming to the hotel in the first place may have even been for help with this trauma. underneath his sultry exterior is a broken guy who really just needs someone to care about him for who he really is and not for what his body can do.

LUTE:

so lute and adam are some of the characters i have the most gripes about. the biggest one being why viv chose adam as the leader of the exorcists in the first place. if she wants a biblical figure tied to demon killing, Archangel Michael is RIGHT THERE, aka the one destined to kill satan during the events of Revelations. if she wants the first human to die, that would be Abel, not Adam. and i kinda doubt abel would want to do the stuff that HH!adam has been doing. if she wants an angel related to torture, Dumah is her guy! an angel that rules over wicked souls and tortures sinners every day except sabbath. so many better options...

with that out of the way, Lute is still the lieutenant of the exorcist, who are a specially chosen group of powers sent to purge hell once a year. think navy seals. she's pretty much the same as in the show, albeit more muscular and visually different from other exorcists (seriously why do they all look exactly the same?????) she's a very repressed lesbian who hasn't had time to work on that due to her duties

i also redesigned the exorcist uniform/armor because those LED purge masks are fugly as hell and their clothes don't even look remotely like armor.

Adam + Final Thoughts

i did start a redesign of adam but got bored of it. regardless, i think he'd be the head of C.H.E.R.U.B. instead of the exorcists. he doesn't want his children to make the same mistakes he and eve did, so together they started C.H.E.R.U.B. to help lost souls stay out of hell

final thoughts uhhhh i'm tired. show sucks, it had so much potential but viv ruined it by being a shitty writer and an even shittier person. the designs are fine i guess but they all look exactly the same and are in desperate need of variety. the humor is dogshit, saying dick and balls and penis over and over and over again doesn't make it any funnier than the first three times you made that joke. anyways that's it, i hope you liked my inane ramblings. gonna go vanish for another forty years or so, adios

#am i gonna do more? idk. we'll see #oh boy sorry about the seventy million tags #i eat bees #artist #oc artist #artists on tumblr #artist on tumblr #hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #hazbin redesign #hazbin rewrite #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel redesign #hazbin hotel rewrite #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin vaggie #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin angel dust #hazbin hotel lute #hazbin lute #hazbin art #hazbin hotel art

[avisisisis]

Seeing people saying that Satoru doesn't actually care about Suguru and that the only reason Kenjaku caught him was bc he was surprised to see a person he killed alive is fucking wild, man

Like. Gojo's entire life revolves around Geto. The entire series happens because he loved Suguru too much to kill him, even though he knew he would have to do it eventually. The world literally went to shit because he wasn't over him

Geto Suguru's life would be completely unimportant to the story without Gojo Satoru, and Gojo Satoru's would be completely unimportant without Geto Suguru. They complement each other. They need each other

Two male betta fishes can't coexist. They will fight and one will die. They can't see each other — even if they're in different tanks, they won't be able to live. They'd eventually tire each other out, resulting in death. The only way for Satoru and Suguru's lives to be able to continue without the other would've been for them to never have met at all. And they can't be together. Not now, not ever again. Not while they're still alive. Not after everything that's happened

The entire story revolves around their relationship. Yuuji is a boy who ate a curse('s finger[s]), and Megumi is the prodigy who befriends him. Satoru is a prodigy, the strongest, and Suguru, the boy whose technique is eating curses, befriends him. The Jujutsu Kaisen story is all about parallels and they all connect to fucking Satosugu. It's all about them

The only reason Kenjaku's plan worked is because the body he used didn't belong to some random person Gojo killed, it worked because the body he used was Geto Suguru's, Gojo's one and only, his best friend. He must be thinking “Thank god they're gay” right now lmao

Gojo fucking hesitated. He hesitated multiple times when it came to Geto. He was supposed to kill him, yet he let him go. He has the Six Eyes, he could've easily tracked him down. He probably could tell if he was nearby (he can recognize Suguru from his scent) and just didn't go looking for him. And he could've so very easily escaped the trap that was set up for him, he was going to run away from it because we see him about to take that step but then Suguru's body shows up and says “Yo, Satoru!” with Suguru's voice and Satoru freezes and hesitates

They weren't able to let go of each other even after years of being separated (like a decade). When they meet, Suguru still greets Satoru warmly

Suguru is pretty much Satoru's moral code. He was the only person Satoru took at least mildly seriously pre-Toji (and we know Satoru just didn't do serious back then). He actually took his words to heart. He was kind, of course (especially from Suguru's PoV, since he's the person that knows him most), and not a bad person, but he wasn't nice. Suguru was always the ‘nice(r) one’, the one who actually had a moral code, while Satoru was more of an asshole to literally everyone and everything (some more, some less), thinking he and Suguru were above everyone else

When Suguru finally snaps (which, honestly. Fair) and goes genocidal (not so fair), Satoru slowly starts to be somewhat nicer and starts applying Suguru's old moral code to his own being — their roles weren't exactly reversed, but now they're not together anymore, so they might as well be. And Suguru was shown for having faith in the school and its system while it was Satoru the one who absolutely abhorred the higher-ups and all kinds of authority, but then it ended up with Suguru being the one to leave and become a cult leader with the blood of hundreds on his hands while Satoru was the one that stayed behind in the same place of the people he despises so much

(Imagine someone saying something like “Sometimes I doubt you even have a moral code” and Gojo answers with “Oh, my best friend my one and only is pretty much my moral code. He went homicidal a while back but it's okay haha” “...Actually, that explains a few things”)

Gojo doesn't have a god complex, but I wouldn't blame him if he did. I mean, he might as well be the closest thing to god human beings have ever seen. He used to put himself above everyone else, when he was a teenager. He thought that, the higher he was, the more he could do. And no one was better than him. But not Suguru. Back then, it wasn't “I'm the strongest” it was “We're the strongest and “We're the best” and “We're the ones that will beat you” and “We're the duo” and it was all about “us, us, us, us, us” instead of “me, me, me, me” like people thought it was — they were a pair. They still are

We know people thought and still think of Gojo as a weapon. As something that must be controlled, because on the moment he decides he doesn't want to be around them anymore, he could just straight up kill then without any effort (but getting rid of people in positions of power only gets other people in positions of power and it'll be a neverending story, and Gojo knows this so he's trying to do his best to fix it all through the younger generation, by letting them live). And we also know that Suguru is one of the very few people who did not believe that at all

Like their personalities and characters and stories and literally everything, their names complement each other. Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru are such similar names, I get them mixed up all the time (the amount of times I've called them “Gojo Suguru” and “Geto Satoru” is embarassing. Also, “Saturu”. “Goto”. “Gejo”. Ugh). Both of their last names start with a G, end with an O and have 4 letters. Both of their given names start with an S, end with an U and have 6 letters. They complement each other. They need each other

The only times we've seen Gojo with an expression of actual pure, raw emotion is when it's about Geto. When he finds out about what Geto did, when he realizes how thin and wrong Geto looks, when he sees him again for what we assume to be the first time in years, when he dies, when a thing wearing his corpse and using his voice greets him (“Yo, Satoru!” oh my god)

Suguru was able to fight back when in Kenjaku's control after Satoru said his name. Kenjaku himself says that had never happened before

And you don't even have to see them as romantic. You don't have to ship them if you don't want to. But you can't deny that they care about each other more than they will ever care about anyone else

#hey is it whose or who's #how do those words work???? english is so confusing sometimes smh #jujutsu kaisen #satosugu #they love each other your honor #jjk #jjk manga spoilers #kenjaku #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #geto suguru #suguru geto #gay #this is kinda long haha #but they deserve the longest of paragraphs #edit: i changed this a little bc my dumbass self said gojo had a god complex #i didn't actually know what a god complex is. mb #edit: i'm proud to say this is pretty much my best post

[farmerstarter]

The Bachelors on their Wedding Day

Hi Hello have this short list of my little Headcanons of the bachelors on their wedding day. Hope you enjoy it! Reblogs and likes are appreciated!!🌷🤍

ʚ🏈ɞ ˚ · . Alex :

🏈 Fiddles with his tie relentlessly and ends up ruining it. He runs to Evelyn to ask her to tie it up again. The only other thing he fusses over is his hair.

🏈 Alex keeps a rabbit's foot in his pants, wanting all the luck he can get.

🏈 Spent literal days writing his wedding vows. Ends up opting to wing it. It wasn't the most eloquently worded thing you've heard but it was sweet.

🏈 He gave himself a pep talk in his bedroom before the ceremony. You only know about this because George was complaining about how loud he was to you.

🏈 Dusty the dog is the mermaid pendant bearer, I decided.

🏈 Also, the song that plays during the wedding is the same tune from Alex's music box. 🥺

ʚ🪶ɞ ˚ · . Elliott :

🪶Beach wedding. You guys have a beach wedding. You've expressed your interest in one and Elliott, with the eager help of Willy, clean up the beach for your special day. Elliott's shoes would fill with sand but his discomfort is overpowered by his delight when he sees you all dressed up.

🪶 He reads you one (of many) of his poems about you. You later learned that he's got a whole book of poetry about you that he's been writing ever since you two started dating. The poem he read on the wedding day was the very first one and is the first page of the book.

🪶 He spent hours trying to make himself look good. Asking for Leah and Willy's input on what he should wear for a solid 3 hours.

🪶 Aside from him worrying over his appearance, Elliott is more excited than nervous. He's on the verge of creating a new chapter in his life with someone else. Gone are the days of his lonely shack and the empty (well, not as empty since you moved into town) beach. Honestly, to say that he's excited is an understatement.

ʚ🛩️ɞ ˚ · . Harvey :

🛩️ Gets awfully shy when reading his vows, stuttering his way through his words and being a blushing mess. He has no problem with the one-on-one check up sessions he does with the other villagers of Pelican Town, but to read aloud in front of all of them at once threw him off. But he kept his eyes on you and managed to power through it.

🛩️ He considered shaving off his mustache for the wedding at least twice. But he decided against the idea.

🛩️ Insisted that you eat Farmer's Brunch the morning of the wedding. Even during your wedding day, he wants to make sure you're feeling healthy.

🛩️ Holds your hands throughout the whole ceremony. Whispering apologies for how clammy his hands are.

ʚ🎸ɞ ˚ · . Sam :

🎸 He wrote a whole song about you and played it on your wedding day. He made it a surprise for you and the moments of him hiding his guitar and shoving music sheets under his bed when you visit his room were all starting to make sense to you.

🎸 Couldn't sleep for the whole night before the wedding. He worried over the ceremony and wanted to make it go smoothly. He's not one to meticulously plan every detail, opting to engage in spur of the moment decisions, but he tried his best to make everything as close to perfect as he can get.

🎸 Jodi tried to gel Sam's hair back, but no matter the amount of gel and hours, his hair would always spring back. Sam wasn't a fan of dressing up in a "dorky suit" but he did anyway, for you.

🎸 Sam didn't want to see you until the wedding so he got Vincent to play messenger for the two of you. He wouldn't do it at first but only agreed to do it because he likes you (Cue a dramatic gasp from Sam).

ʚ🐸ɞ ˚ · . Sebastian :

🐸 Ends up smiling through the whole ceremony, looking at you with such a brightness in his eyes.

🐸 He isn't one to wear anything fancy. The closest thing he ever wore that is considered formal was the suit that Lewis got him and the rest of the dancers to wear for the Flower Dance. He asks his mom to help him dress up for the wedding, asking her about it while she was building furniture. Sebastian doesn't want to admit it, but he liked watching his mom so happy over something that was so mundane to him. He makes sure to keep the suit in perfect condition throughout the ceremony because of it.

🐸 He tells his very heartfelt wedding vows. And while he does, you could hear the faint "that's good," from Elliott before a grunt, inevitably elbowed on the side by Leah.

🐸 You and him ride on his motorcycle after the wedding. He drives you two to the cliff overlooking the city, the same cliff where he confessed his true feelings to you. Under the full moon, the two of you would look at the stars with Sebastian occasionally pointing at a constellation that Maru taught him to find.

🐸 Consider: winter wedding.

ʚ🐣ɞ ˚ · . Shane :

🐣 Genuinely doesn't believe that you want to marry him. He thinks it's a dream at best and a prank at worst. It wasn't until you were tying his mermaid pendant around his neck for him to know that you do love him. He still has trouble understanding it sometimes.

🐣 Shane asked Marnie to teach him how to waltz for your wedding day. Sure, he's danced in the Flower Dance countless of times but he wanted to learn something new to surprise you. And he did. After dancing with you, he dances with Jas. Well, it's more of Jas standing on Shane's feet while he walks and glides around.

🐣 He gave his chicken, Charlie, a bow tie for the wedding and everything. Even got a picture of you and Shane with the little guy. The picture ends up being hanged on Shane's side of the bedroom for many years to come.

🐣 Has his pocket full of corn chips, let's be honest. He offers one to you before the ceremony starts.

#stardew valley #stardew valley x reader #stardew valley fanfic #sdv elliot x farmer #sdv elliot x reader #sdv sebastian x farmer #sdv sebastian x reader #sdv alex x reader #sdv alex x farmer #sdv harvey x reader #sdv harvey x farmer #sdv sam x reader #sdv sam x farmer #sdv shane x reader #sdv shane x farmer #sdv alex #sdv elliott #sdv harvey #sdv sam #sdv Sebastian #sdv shane #support banner at the end is by cafekitsune 🤍 #🌱 writing :: BACHELORS

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: Kooks and Pogues don't really get along, but reader and Rafe make it work.

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, fluff - Rafe is super clingy with you, secret relationship, flirting, secret texting, pogue!reader with possibly divorcing parents, kissing, lying to friends, sneaking off at a party, phone sex, masterbation, choking, biting, scratching, hair pulling, unprotected sex, filth 

Word count: 4.9k | unedited 

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

You lay on your bed, smiling and giggling as you text back and forth with your very secret kook boyfriend, Rafe. 

Yeah, yeah. Kooks and Pogues, they don't get along, blah blah. 

But you and Rafe do.

Cannot wait to see you tonight, my beautiful girl. Did you pick out a dress for the party yet? 

You bite down on your bottom lip, typing back a response to Rafe, Wouldn't you like to know, lover boy. 

You tuck your phone back into your pocket and look up just as Kie walks in the door, "So tell me how we managed to get an invite to Sarah's party." 

You sigh, "Okay. But you have to promise you won't get upset or tell anyone I told you." 

She nods, "Ohh I like where this is going." She sits down on your bed, "Tell me." 

"John B and Sarah are secretly seeing each other." You stare at her and she laughs, "What?" 

You nod, "The only reason I know that is because I went over to hang out with John B and.. they must have lost track of time." 

"Oh Jesus." Kie shakes her head, "I actually don't like where this is going." 

You laugh slightly, "Yeah, I was actually shocked when I seen them, but honestly, after talking to them before she left." You shrug, "They seem to be really happy sigh each other." 

Kie rolls her eyes, "Oh yeah. I'm sure." 

You chew on your lip as your phone is one new message away from the secret you're hiding, too. 

"Just.. let him tell you. Don't tell him I told you." You laugh, "As crazy at it seems, it seems to work." 

"John B and Sarah Cameron?" She raises her brows, "That's just.. crazy to me. That would be like rafe and you." 

Your heart skips a beat and you quickly push out a laugh, "Please." You roll your eyes, "Me and Rafe? That would never work, even if I wanted it to." 

Kie looks at you and at this point, your heart is about to fall out of your ass. 

She tilts her head, "I mean, I can say that Sarah is better than Rafe, I mean." She laughs slightly, "he's a psychopath." You force a laugh because you know that isn't true, for you at least. 

Rafe is, literally on his hands and knees begging to see you. 

He's good morning texts and last person you talk to before you go to sleep. 

He's nothing like the Rafe they know. 

Polar opposite. 

"so I guess.. I'm just glad it's them two over the other option." Kie says and you look at her, "Oh yeah." You try not to seem nervous, "I'm happy for them, really." 

She checks her phone, "Shit. I gotta go meet JayJ." She stands up, "I'll pick you up later? We can go to the party together." 

You nod, "Okay." You watch as she leaves your room and you pull your phone out after hearing the front screen door shut. 

A smirk grows across your lips as you read, Please. I miss my girl so much right now. 

You get up, walking over to your closet as you type, Things been stressful lately? 

You always loved how fast Rafe answers you. 

No matter what he's doing, he makes sure to always answer. 

You have no idea, baby. I haven't seen you, I need to feel you. Fuck, I miss you. 

You have never seen a more softer side of Rafe. You honestly never really would, but to your surprise, you were the one who brought it out of him. 

You are the only Pogue he'd ever really associate with in any other way. You have a way with him that even had himself questioning the whole thing for a while, but he got into you having control over him, too.

He still, now jokingly, is mean to you when you're around your other friends, only because he's mean to them, but you give it right back to him. 

And he loves it, but pretends that he doesn't. 

You pull your dress out of the closet and set it down to undress. You slip it on, giving yourself a look in the mirror, fixing it to make sure it shows your cleavage. 

You snap a picture, typing a text before hitting send, Maybe you'll have to get me alone tonight so you can lift the back of this up, yeah? 

You smirk at your screen, waiting for his text to pop up. You giggle as you read it, Was already on my mind, Princess. 

You sit down on your bed and look at the time. You had to be ready in two hours. You bite your lip, shrugging as you start to type, Are you able to call me? 

A few minutes later, your phone rings and you bring it to your ear as you answer, "Hey babe." 

"What's goin' on Princess." Rafe asks with a laugh and you sigh, "Since you said you need me, too, I can't stop thinking about you." 

"Ohh." Rafe sighs, "I see. I see. You want me to talk you through it, hmm?" You nod to yourself, "I do." 

"Mm. Well you're lucky I got some free time." 

You can hear Rafe getting up to shut his door and you smirk, dragging your dress up your thighs with your fingers. 

"What are you doing right now?" Rafe asks, "Besides thinking about me." 

You laugh slightly and smile, "I'm just pulling my dress up my legs." 

"The one that I'm going to be pulling up later myself, huh?" Rafe asks and you sigh as you press your fingers onto your clothed clit, "Uh huh." 

"Mm. That dress makes your boobs look incredible." You can hear the smirk in Rafe's voice and you giggle, "Thank you, baby." 

"Are you rubbing that clit f'me, baby?" Rafe asks and you breathe out, "Yes." You slip your fingers into your panties and go back to rubbing. 

"can't wait to fuckin' have you tonight." He groans, "You're going to look so good." 

You slide your fingers down and dip them into your soaked cunt, "I'm so wet." You whisper out, a small moan escaping your lips. 

"Fuck baby, you sound so sexy." Rafe groans quietly, "Goddamn." 

You arch your back against your bed and squeeze your eyes shut, "I miss you." 

"I miss you, too, baby." Rafe whispers, "Tell me what you're doing." He pauses, knowing you're still kind of shy to dirty talking, "You fingering that pussy?" 

"Y-yes." You whimper out, looking down at your fingers slipping in and out of you, "Need you." 

"You'll get me baby, I promise." There's a softer tone to his voice. Him being so vulnerable with you turns you on even more, "Fuck, I can't wait to feel it."

You grind your hips even more and gasp out, "R-Rafe." You whimper out, "S-so close." 

"Come on baby." He sighs, "Just think about how good I'm going to feel inside of that tight little pussy tonight." 

You moan in response and he chuckles, "There ya go, baby. Just think of me. No one fucks you like I do, yeah?" 

"Fuck." You gasp out, knowing that he's right. 

"Go on baby, say it." Rafe encourages and you pause as you think you hear the front screen door open and slam shut. 

You gasp, whispering quickly, "Gotta go." 

"Love you." Rafe says quickly and you smile, voice still low, "Love you." 

You pull your dress down and stand up, locking your phone before walking towards the door, "Hello?" 

"Oh it's just me, honey." Your mom yells and you sigh, "Thank god." You whisper, you lean out yelling back, "Okay." 

You walk back into your room and sit back down on the bed, texting Rafe, Sorry. I heard someone come in. Wasn't sure who it was, but it was just my mom. 

You sit up, moving over to start getting around for Sarah's party. 

As you're doing your makeup, your phone goes off and you lean over to grab it. You smile as you see Rafe's name, Its all good, princess. Sarah came in asking me to move stuff right after we hung up. 

You let out a sigh, Perfect timing then right? 

You set your phone down and continue to get ready. 

As you finishes getting around, you get a text from Kie, On my way. I'll let you know when I'm there. 

You nod to yourself, I'm ready to go.

You stand up and walk over to grab your shoes. Once they're on, you make your way outside to wait. 

As Kie pulls up, the boys lean out of the windows and yell at you. You laugh as you walk up to the passenger side of the car. Jj climbs into the back, giving you the seat. 

"Aww." You say getting in and looking back at JJ, "How sweet of you." 

He shrugs, "Ehh. Don't mention it." 

You laugh and look at Kie, "Ready?" She asks giving you a thumbs up. You give her a thumbs up, "Hell yeah!" 

You arrive to the party, parking next to the other cars. You get out, walking around and you look at the others as they gather, "So, what's the plan for if we get asked on why we're here?" 

Your eyes move to John B and he shrugs. You nod, "Well just say that Sarah invited  Kie and I and she said we can bring the others?" 

They all look at each other and then back to you, "Sounds good to me." John B says and you all follow him towards the house. 

You walk in, looking around for Rafe. You don't see him anywhere as you follow Kie. You make your way to the back and outside. 

You managed to get drinks and you're finally able to get a sip. 

"This place is packed." You say as you look around, a smirk instantly taking place on your lips as your eyes land on Rafe. 

His eyes were glued to you, picturing what's under neath that dress. 

"It's not bad out side." Kie says looking around and the boys walk up to you, chatting amongst themselves. 

Kie scoffs, "Ugh. Rafe alert." 

"And just how in the hell did the Pogue princess and her dwarves get an invite to my sister's party?" Rafe asks as he walks around to face the group. 

His yellow shirt fitting tight again his body and the backwards head has you unable to fathom any thought that isn't dirty right now. 

"Sarah invited Y/n and I." Kie speaks up and you blink, "Yeah, Rafe." You roll your eyes, "We're not awful people." 

"My sister is in fact losing it." Rafe shakes his head, "Just don't get the fuckin' cops called, alright." His eyes move over you once more as he turns and he walks away. 

You vowed with the group to never fall for a pogue, just like Rafe did with his other kook head friends. 

But literally just one look and you were weak in the knees for him.

"Just don't get the cops involved alright." JJ mocks Rafe as he walks away, "Fuck off, man." 

"Hey guys." Sarah says walking up to you, "I'm glad you're all here." You nod and look at John B and look back to Sarah, "Yeah thank you so much for inviting us." 

She nods, "Anytime." She looks at John B and you knew that look. They were planning on sneaking off somewhere.

You smirk and lean up against the railing, "So is everyone invited or what?" Pope asks Sara with a laugh. 

She rolls her eyes, "As soon as Rafe found out I was having a party, he was also having a party, so now we're sharing the space." 

"What an asshole." John B rolls his eyes and you look behind Sarah, eyes locking onto Rafe. You tried so hard not to smile, you had to bring your cup to your mouth and look away. 

You feel your phone vibrate and you know that's a queue to excuse yourself, "I'm going to go find the bathroom." 

"I'll come with you." Kie says walking towards you. 

You walk to the bathroom and you motion, "You can go first." She nods and goes in. You pull your phone from your small purse and pull your bottom lip between your teeth, Baby girl. You look so fucking good. 

You tap back, glancing up at the door every now and then, Me? Let's talk about you in that shirt and backwards hat. You know that does it for me. 

You lock your phone, hearing Kie rustle around in the bathroom. The door opens and you switch places with her. 

You look down and lean against the wall as you read Rafe's texts, I know what it does to you babe. Partly why I wore it. 

You roll your eyes and shake your head, Can't wait to get my hands on you. You toss your phone back into your bag and fix your hair before walking out. 

You make your way down to get another drink and out to the backyard to find the others. 

You look around, sipping from your cup and you can't help but smirk as you walk right by Rafe. His eyes trail on you the entire time you move past him. 

You guys like fun little cat fights you do to keep things lowkey. 

"Hey, wait a sec.." Rafe calls out and you stop, slowly turning around, "Are you talking to me?" You point to yourself and Rafe nods, "Yeah, Miss Pogue princess." 

He steps towards you, "I'm talking to you." 

You bite the inside of your lip to keep from smiling. You knew he hates pretending to be mean, but it was still fun for you. 

If you're gonna ask why in here, ask your sister, Rafe. I already told you." You roll your eyes and he shakes his head, "Nah, nah. Nothing like that. Listen." He walks up to you and he leans in, voice really low, "Look, I'll try to hide it better, but we both know that I'm madly in love with you." 

He leans back and smirks and you purse your lips, taking a step back as you flick him off and smile before turning away. 

You make your way back to the others and you look around, "Where's John B?" 

"Said he was going to get another drink." Pope shrugs, "But that was like almost ten minutes ago." 

Kie looks at you and you tilt your head, nodding slightly. You basically confirmed you were thinking the same thing. 

"What was that?" Pope motions between you and Kie, "That girl thing you just did?" 

"You're losin' it Pope." You laugh and shake your head, "Oh here they come." You motion to JJ and John B, "Pope was worried." 

They laugh and sit down next to him on the chairs. You look down at your empty cup, "I'm gonna go get a refill." 

As you walk away, you pull your phone out of your bag and block the sides with your hands, I'm thinking about you right now. 

You smirk, glancing up as you make your way into the house, I don't blame you. 

You tuck your phone back into your bag and walk over to the drink table. You pour a drink and take a minute to stand where there really isn't anyone around. 

Rate responds, Do you think you can make it to my room without anyone seeing you? 

Your heart skips with excitement, I'll make it happen. 

You put your phone into your purse and set your cup down. You carefully make your way towards the steps and said a few seconds before you head up. 

You've snuck info Rafe's house just about as many times as you have snuck into his, so you knew exactly where his room is. 

You look behind you as you grow closer to his room. You stop and open the door, biting your lip when he turns around to see you. 

You walk in, shutting the door with your back to it. He walks over to you, "How's my girl doin'? Hmm." His hands slide up your hands and neck to cup your cheeks, "My fuckin' beautiful girl." 

You smile and purse out your lips. He presses his to yours, smooching them a few times, "I missed you." He pulls you in and wraps his arms around you.

You wrap your arms around him and let out a sigh, "I'm glad we can manage to sneak away like pros." You laugh and Rafe nods, he looks down at you, "Did you get off earlier?" 

You shake your head, "Nope." 

He smiles, "I can help you with that." He winks and slides his hand down to yours, grabbing it and leading you over to his bed. 

His eyes scan down over the dress that's hugging your body and he shakes his head, "I wanna rip this thing off of you." 

"Later?" You bite your lip and he tilts his head, "Twice in one night, huh?" You bite your lip and nod, "Lucky you." 

You lay back and smile up at him and he pulls the fabric up over your thighs, "Show me what you were doing earlier, princess." 

You comply, even though you want him to be the one touching you. 

You spread your legs and pull your panties to the side, your fingers finding their way onto your clit like before. 

Rafe's eyes are glued to your fingers drawing circles on yourself, whimpering and moaning as you press harder. 

Rafe inserts a finger into your cunt, slowly curling it and your eyes roll back as you moan, "Rafe." 

"This what you wanted?" Rafe sits down next to you, dinner slowly sliding in and out of you, "Hmm? You want me to make you cum?" 

You nod quickly, "Fuck yes yes yes." 

He leans down, pressing his lips to yours and he sallows your moans, "as much as I wanna hear them pretty little sounds, you gotta be quiet, okay?" 

You nod, biting down on your lip as he inserts another finger. You gasp, looking down at his hand between your thighs, "Fuck." 

You clench around his fingers, grinding your hips down as you rub back and forth on your clit, "Fuck fuck fuck." 

You whimper quietly, bucking your hips as Rafe guides you through your high, "Good job, princess." He presses a kiss to your forehead and stands up, "Now roll over so I can push this dress up." 

You smirk and roll over into your elbows and knees.

You lean over slightly and look back at him. You watch as he undoes his belt to his pants. You wiggle your hips and he smirks, shaking his head, "You know.." Rafe starts out. 

You tilt your head, "What do I know?" 

He smirks, "You're pretty fucking sexy for a Pogue." 

You can feel your cheeks turning red and you nod, "You're pretty fucking sexy for a kook." You smirk and he walks up, sliding his hands up under the fabric of your dress. 

"You're not good for me." Rafe squeezes your hips and you push them back towards him. He presses his hips against you, his hard cock pressing into you, "But baby I cannot fucking help but want you." 

Your lips part as he pushes your dress up over your ass, exposing it to him. He gives both of your cheeks a squeezes before delivering a smack to each one. 

You win, biting down on your lip. You look back at him and he leans up over you, "You got that best pussy ever." 

You smile and gasp as you feel your underwear get slowly pulled down. His fingers brush against your soaked cunt and he bites down on his lip, "you're fuckin' dripping for me princess." 

You take an excited breath, "Like I said, I've been needing you." 

"I'm not gonna make you wait any longer, baby. Okay?" Rafe pushes his hands down and rubs his hands over your ass cheeks. 

You rest your head against the bed when you feel the head of his cock press against your cunt. A moan is ripped from your lips as he pushes into you. 

"Ahh, baby.." he groans out quietly, "Don't wanna get caught now do ya?" 

"N-no." You whimper out, pushing your hips back to meet each of his thrusts. "fuck fuck fuck." You reach back and Rafe grabs your wrist, pinning it to your lower back. 

"So fucking right." Rafe pants out, continuing to slam his cock into you. 

"Fu-Fuck.." you whine, squeezing his cock, "Rafe, baby. Shit. Shit." You moan and squeeze his cock one last time before you let go. 

Your hand goes to your mouth as you try to muffle the moans you have no control over. 

Rafe pushes your dress up, moving it out of the way before he pulls out, spilling his cum onto your back, "Goddamn." 

You sigh, "Uh huh." 

"Alright, baby. Don't move for me, okay?" Rafe says and you nod, watching as he goes and gets you something to wipe you off with.

He comes back and gets behind you again, "So I was thinking." 

"Uh oh." You tease, "What were you thinkin' about?" 

He stands up to get dressed and you roll over onto your side to look at him.

Rafe looks down at you, "Run away with me."

You blink a few times and shake your head, "What did you just say?" 

Rafe laughs, reaching down to caress your cheek, "You heard me." You tilt your head into is hand, actually considering that it would be nice to spend at least one day together without getting any interruptions. 

"No." You shake your head, "We can't do that." 

Rafe shrugs, "Why not?" 

You stare at him as you try and come up with an answer, but you can't think of anything, "Fuck." 

Rafe walks up to you, "See." He chuckles, "Just imagine one week, some place where it's just you and I." 

You chew on your lip, thinking for a second, "Rafe, I gotta tell you something." You lay your hands on his chest, "I can't leave." 

He presses a kiss to your lips and Whines, "You won't regret this." 

You smile slightly but quickly frown, "I need to be here for my mom. They're talking divorce and I just need to be here incase he just decides to leave." 

"Oh baby." Rafe grabs your head and presses his lips to your forehead, "I'm sorry." You let out a sigh, "It's okay. You didn't do anything." 

"No I know, but if I had known, I wouldn't have been there more for you." He runs his hands through your hair and sighs, "Are you.. I mean not alright but.." 

You nod, smiling slightly, "Just you nonstop talking to me helps." 

"I can come over later and you can just talk? Yeah?" He looks at you and you nod, trying not to cry, "Please?" Your voice is low and it makes him frown, "Of course, baby. anything you need." 

He presses a kiss to your lips and you smile, "Then maybe once everything is settled we do that little thing you were talking about." You wink and he just smirks as he watches as you walk over to the door. 

As you open it to go out, you ear JJ and Pope coming up the steps. You step back in and push the door shut, "Shit." 

You look at Rafe and he gives you a confused look, "What's going on?" 

"Pope and JJ, I think they're looking for me." You cover your mouth to conceal your laughter and Rafe puts his shirt back on, "Closet." 

You look from Rafe to the open closet and sigh, "Okay." You walk over and step in, leaning forward to close the door. 

You listen and hear knocking on Rafe's door. He walks over and opens it, "Man you guys are actually searching to get your asses kicked tonight, aren't ya?" 

You smirk slightly and you hear JJ ask, "Where's y/n?" 

"Why the fuck would I know where y/n is?" Rafe shoots back and JJ, being JJ, "Because if she were to go missing you're the first person I'd look into." 

"Well, she's not up here. So good luck with that case, Detective Douchebag." Rafe says and you cover your mouth, trying not to laugh. 

Detective Douchebag. Good one. 

"She's probably just outside somewhere." Pope says urging JJ to leave. 

"Yeah, outside. Where you should be instead of bothering me." Rafe says, "Oh. And when you find her, tell I said she looks hot for a Pogue." 

"What the fuck did you just say?" JJ says and you can hear Pope calming him down, "Relax. He's just doing it on purpose. Come on." 

Rafe closes the door and you emerge from the closet, "Did you really have to add the last part?" 

He laughs, "I mean.. you are hot." He winks, and you know I have to fuck with them. I hate them, not you." 

You roll your eyes and walk over to him, "I don't hate you either." You lean up and press your lips to his, "See ya later?" 

His hands move to your waist and he tilts his head, "Um, that's a dumb ass question." 

You laugh, "I was just double checking." 

"I know." He smirks and kisses your cheek, "Let me check is the coast is clear." He peaks his head out and waves for you to come out. 

You peck his lips and smile, "I love you." 

He smiles, pinching your chin gently, "I love you." 

You quickly make your way down the steps and half way down you realize you don't have your panties on. 

You ignore it and make your way back to the drink table to get a new one. You pull your phone out, quickly texting Rafe, Do you happen to know where my panties are? 

You put your phone back in your purse and you make your way through the crowded house to find your friends, "Hey." 

"Where have you been?" Kie asks and you motion, "Oh I got sidetracked by-" you stop talking when you see Rafe walk out and you sigh, "I'm actually not feeling well. I think I'm going to walk home." 

"I can drive you?" She steps towards you and you shake your head, "No it's fine." 

"Are you sure? What's going on?" She leans in, "Are you okay?" 

You nod, "Yeah, yeah. I just have a lot going on right now." You swore you'd never use it at an excuse, but you really didn't want them mad at you for seeing Rafe, "My mom and dad got into it again today about divorcing and just tensions are high.." 

she nods, "Yeah, no. I completely understand." She lays a hand on your shoulder, "Call me if you need anything." 

You nod, "I will. Thank you." 

She smiles and your turn, walking down off the deck. You can hear Kie start to explain what you told her but their voices fade the further away you get. 

You get your phone out of your bag and smile when you see Rafe's text, Yeah, I do actually. 

You type the screen, Can I know where they are please?, resting your phone down as you continue to walk. your phone buzzes in your hand and you bring it up. 

My left pants pocket. 

A tingle courses through your body and you tilt your head, Not gonna lie. That's hot as fuck. 

You bite your lip as you look back towards the house. You look down at your phone, I'm actually walking home right now, so if you wanna meet me there? 

You hit send and keep walking. 

It hits you that since he knows about your parents along with your friends, they'll all try to come at once time and you really don't want to see that. 

you stop, going to text Rafe but a car pulls up beside you, coming to a stop. You look over and see Rafe as the window goes down. 

You quickly get in and look at him, "What are you doing?" 

He shrugs, "I don't need you walking home looking like that." He nods toward your body and you smirk, "So sweet of you." 

You sigh, "Actually. I can't go home." 

He starts to drive and gives you a confused look, "Why?" You laugh slightly, "Because my dumb ass told Kie that was my leaving for leaving, so they're probably going or, if not already on their way to my house now."

"And you don't want them knowing about us, hmm?" He lays a hand on your thigh, "I get it, baby." He glances at you, "Where do you want to go?" 

You laugh, "Anywhere that I can come up an excuse for tomorrow." 

Rafe gives your thigh a squeeze, "I know just the place." He bites his bottom lip and looks at you and you nod, "Let's go." 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Hi thanks you so much for reading! I love you all! As always let me know how you liked this one!

Again, I wrote this high so if nothing makes sense I’m sorry lol

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated! 🖤

#samandcolby-ownme #rafe cameron smut one shot #rafe cameron one shot #rafe cameron #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #rafe smut #rafe fanfiction #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #rafe x you #rage x you smut #rafe x reader smut #Rafe Cameron x reader #Rafe Cameron x reader smut #rafe Cameron x y/n smut #Rafe Cameron x y/n #one shot smut #smut rafe Cameron #smut one shot #smutty #dirty rafe Cameron one shot

[theminecraftbee]

fae zedaph, avian tango, and/or butterfly impulse?

Tango pinches the bridge of his nose. He breathes in. He breathes out. He looks at Zedaph.

"Okay. Why do you have a baby," Tango says.

"Well, it was an accident!" Zedaph says.

"How! How do you accidentally end up with a baby!" Tango says. He pauses. He considers what he has just said. He revises: "How do you or I accidentally end up with a baby! I am a robot and you are an immortal fairy creature. You can't babyificate. I know. You've checked."

"You don't have to sound so haunted," Zedaph says, vaguely hurt.

"I am very haunted by most of what you do, that's not the point. How did you end up with a baby! I can't take care of a baby, Zedaph! You definitely can't take care of a baby! What are we going to do with a baby?"

Zedaph shuffles his feet. When they'd first met, Tango had been reluctantly impressed with how human Zedaph's mannerisms were for a guy who, at that time, still hadn't been entirely certain you weren't supposed to eat people who were rude to you. He's come a long way since Tango had discovered he was just alive enough to be able to accidentally slip into the feywild, and Zedaph discovered he was actually much happier experimenting in the human world most of the time than dealing with other fair folk and their 'predictable rules' and 'annoying laws of hospitality'.

If Tango wasn't mostly made of steel and cold iron, he probably wouldn't have survived the early encounters with Zedaph. Nowadays, though, it's easy to mistake Zedaph for just an exceptionally weird human. Sure, he still looks at everyone a little bit like they're more of an experiment or strange animal than a person, but that's just Zedaph. Even if he were human, Tango's pretty sure he'd follow his own idiosyncratic laws.

None of this explains why he has a baby.

"Okay, look, it's not my fault this time, I swear," Zedaph says. "It's--look, I was in-town, and there was this guy, and he made a bargain with me! It was a very little bargain! I didn't think he'd break it. Honest! He just wanted gold--"

"Oh no," mutters Tango.

"--and I just told him that I wanted him to take care of a sheep for me without looking at it! I wanted to see what would happen if a sheep grew up without anyone looking at it. Would it want to look at other people more or less? You know my problems with sheep and looking at me."

"I hate that I know where this is going," Tango says.

"And he was all like, oh that's easy, I won't break that bargain. And I remembered what you said about how most people don't like having their babies swapped out with fey, which still doesn't really make sense honestly because I think a baby me is WAY more exciting than a baby human to take care of and also then I can experiment with the baby human but that's not the point. The point is that you said most people would avoid that! So I said, okay, if you break our bargain and look at the sheep, I'll come take your first baby. It's a traditional fey thing! I thought he wouldn't do it! I don't want a baby, I want a traumatized sheep!"

"Sometimes I wonder if my inventor knew my life would end up like this," Tango says.

"So imagine my shock when one day I just--poof--I have a baby!"

"I don't know how to take care of a baby," Tango says. "You absolutely shouldn't be trusted with a baby. What do we do with a baby."

The two of them look at the child.

"I mean, I cast a spell on it so it would sleep?" Zedaph says tentatively. "But to be totally honest with you, I don't actually know how long those last. You know how it is with my magic."

"I have decided this is Impulse's problem," Tango responds after a moment. "We give the baby to Impulse. He's a human. Humans know what to do with babies, right?"

Zedaph gives Tango an extremely skeptical look. "I got this one from a human."

"Impulse will suffer with us," Tango says.

"Sold," Zedaph says. "Let's go give Impulse a surprise baby."

"Please don't phrase it like that," Tango says, and they both start heading in the direction of where Tango thinks Impulse is currently living. Surely, he has the solution to this problem. Surely.

#answered #ask game #prompt ficlet #a bee fic #hermitcraft #zedaph #tangotek #and also a baby i guess #anyway i feel like fae zedaph would get into a bunch fo weird hijinks #so my brain invented. this entire au for that.

[punkshort]

look what we've become - ch.9

Chapter Summary: Joel nurses you back to health and you come to a startling realization about your future together.

Chapter Warnings: language, descriptions of some injuries, fluff, protective Joel, soft Joel, little bit of angst, lots of feelings, smut (18+ MDNI), fingering

WC: 6K

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

After arriving back in Jackson, you ended up spending nearly three weeks in the infirmary. Your injuries were worse than you thought. From what you could remember, Bill said you had some internal damage along with several fractures and sprains. The cut in your leg was infected, but fortunately Eugene's group did manage to successfully trade for the rest of the antibiotics before everything happened in Salt Lake City.

You ended up sleeping quite a bit in those weeks, but Ellie told you later that Joel hardly ever left your side. She had said she would get into arguments with him, trying to convince him to take turns at your bedside so he could go home and rest, but he refused.

"I don't know which one of you is more stubborn - you or him," Bill mumbled to you as he gently removed the IV from your arm. You chuckled, your eyes finding his broad form outside your bedroom talking quietly with Tommy, just out of earshot.

"Definitely him."

You were grateful Bill let you go home, but he insisted on doing house visits twice a day until you were on your feet. Most of your superficial wounds had healed but you were still very tired and weak. Bill could see improvement every day, and he said that's all that mattered.

On his way out, Bill stopped to check in with Joel, no doubt updating him on your condition and any medicine he would have to administer for you. You watched his face as he listened intently, his brow furrowed as he looked down at the bottles Bill handed him. You had to stifle a giggle when you saw him squint at the label and hold it further away from his face.

While Joel and Bill continued to talk, Tommy slipped past them and into your room, giving you a grin as he plopped down in the chair next to your bed.

"Lookin' good," he said, making you laugh and then wince, gingerly touching your ribs.

"Liar," you said, and he chuckled, his eyes raking over your face, taking in the scabs and yellow bruises with a sigh.

"Just wanna let you know, we cut off all trades with 'em," he said, his voice taking on a serious tone.

"I figured. I know they had a lot of things we could use - "

"We'll find those things somewhere else. Not worth it," he said, cutting you off.

You nodded and cast your gaze to the side.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it," he replied, tapping his foot on the floor. "Maria said she was gonna stop by later after work, you think you're up for it?"

"Yeah, of course," you said, although you honestly couldn't tell these days. It seemed like you fell asleep at the drop of a hat.

"How's Ellie?" you asked him. Whenever you asked Joel, he frustratingly just gave you the most basic information. She's fine. She's in school. Think I saw her with a couple girls the other day.

"She's adjusting real good. She's been stayin' with Julia, but I'm not sure it's a permanent solution for either of them." He eyed you carefully as your gaze drifted over his shoulder at Joel, who was walking Bill down the steps to the front door. "You got any ideas?"

"Me?" you asked, looking back to him now and raising your eyebrows in surprise. You knew what he was implying, and he just nodded.

"I would love it if she wanted to stay here, but I'm pretty sure Joel wouldn't like that, and I really don't want to push him right now. He's so stressed, Tommy. I can see it in his eyes. He's not sleeping well, and I'm worried about his blood pressure -"

"Have you talked to him about it? About the kid?" Tommy asked, and you shook your head.

"No, but he made his feelings pretty well known when she first got here."

"Lots happened since then. He might surprise you," Tommy said, standing up with a grunt. You frowned and opened your mouth to question him further when Joel walked through the door, his gaze falling on his brother.

"Just headin' out, don't worry, I know she needs her rest," Tommy said, sneaking you a wink as he headed towards the door. You thanked him for visiting and listened to them walk down the stairs, their voices fading the further they got until the door closed and all that was left was Joel's heavy footsteps slowly coming back up. He reached the door and leaned against the frame as he gave you a small smile, but you could see how exhausted he was. His eyes looked bloodshot and his shoulders sagged.

"Come here," you whispered, and he quickly pushed off the wall to come to your side.

"What'dya need, sweetheart?" he asked, glancing at the cup next to your bed, making sure it was still filled with water. "Hungry?"

"No," you said, shaking your head, but he looked at his watch and mentally did the math.

"You'll have to eat somethin' soon with your meds, what can I make you?" he asked, and you shook your head again.

"Can you please just lay with me for a while?"

He hesitated but you reached out to drag your fingertips against his wrist, urging him closer to the bed, and he gave in.

"Alright, only for a few minutes," he said, rounding the end of the bed and collapsing onto the covers with a groan, sliding his eyes closed in relief.

"I wish you'd rest more," you murmured after you gingerly rolled yourself onto your side so you could look at him. "I'm worried about you."

He chuckled and turned his head to the side to look at you in disbelief.

"You're worried about me? You're jokin', right?"

You reached out to lightly brush a stray curl away from his eyes, choosing not to reply. You knew it would be a losing battle anyway.

"Can't rest," he said, staring at you with his eyes all soft. "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to rest again."

"Why?" you asked, your brow furrowing.

He shook his head, his eyes still pinned on yours and you watched them slowly fill with tears. You gave him a look of concern and inched a bit closer to cup his face, the pad of your thumb swiping over his rough beard as you waited for him to open up.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered, his voice thick as he tried to hold back his tears. "It's all my fault, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault -"

"I keep lettin' you down. Over and over again," he continued, a tear slipping down his cheek. "And I just wanna tell you that I understand now. 'Bout all of it. Why you're so scared 'bout havin' a family or gettin' married. And it's fine, I won't bring it up again, alright?"

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" you asked, searching his face for answers.

"I can't - " he paused and took a deep breath before trying again. "I can't take care of us. I thought I could but it's clear I can't when all this bad shit keeps happenin'. But if you'll still have me, I'll be right here, okay? I'll take whatever you wanna give me, I don't care 'bout any of that other shit anymore. I just want you."

"Slow down," you said, trying to wrap your fatigued mind around what he was saying. Your grip on his jaw tightened before you continued. "You never let me down, do you understand me? You are the only fucking thing that kept me going the past few years. Without you, I would be dead. I would have died that very first day. I owe you my life, Joel. How do you not see that?"

He just shook his head, refusing to accept what you were saying, so you kept going.

"I should have just been honest with you, but it took me a while to figure out why I was so scared about - "

"You don't need to explain - "

"Let me finish," you said, and he clamped his mouth shut. "It's not you, Joel. Well, it is. But not for the reason you think."

He frowned, blinking back tears as he waited for you to continue.

"It's because I love you so much that it scares me." You could feel your own tears forming now, but you tried to push through. "If something were to happen to you out there and I was left all alone, I don't know how I could go on." You swiped away a few tears that fell as you spoke. "And I'm terrified of getting married because if you die, that day will haunt me, Joel. Every single year when the anniversary comes, I - "

You stopped for a moment, your breaths coming in short gasps. He tried to shush you and pull you closer, but you shook your head.

"I'm not strong enough," you finished with a small sob. This time, you let him pull you into his chest while his big hands cradled the back of your head, patting down your hair, soothing you.

"Does that make sense?" you blubbered, pulling back to look at him.

He nodded slowly, his eyes raking down your face.

"Yeah," he whispered. "Thought I wasn't gonna get you back after they took you. Thought I lost you forever."

The two of you sat in silence for a minute, lost in each other's eyes, the truth finally spoken and swirling around the quiet room as you both clung to the other, just grateful to be alive.

"But you did get me back," you finally said, breaking the silence. "You did that. You saved me. Again." You ran your finger gently over his bottom lip and he gave the tip of your finger a little kiss.

"You might think you can't keep me safe, but in reality, you are the only reason I'm still here." The puzzle was finally piecing together in your mind as you spoke.

"That's not true," he said immediately. "Every situation that's put you at risk could've been avoided if I had protected you more. I wouldn't have to save you if I didn't put you in harm's way in the first place."

"But this is the world we live in, Joel. None of us will ever truly be safe ever again. And it's not because of something you did. It's just a really shitty hand we were all dealt and now we have to figure out a way to make the most of it and survive." You paused for a moment, something in your brain finally clicking as the words came tumbling out.

"We can't let fear run our lives," you said softly.

He looked at you, your gaze fixed on the wall behind him as what Maria said so long ago finally made sense. It was like you were seeing through the fog. Like a weight was lifted off your shoulders and you could breathe deeply for the very first time.

It took you and Joel to finally have a raw and honest conversation, but you thought you understood what she meant now.

"You okay?" Joel asked, clearly confused. You let your gaze fall back to him and you grinned.

"Yeah," you said breathlessly, then tugged him forward so you could press your lips against his, your fingers curling around the back of his neck to hold him against you.

You weren't afraid anymore.

A few days later, you woke up to the sound of the front door downstairs swinging shut. Your eyes snapped open and you strained your ears, trying to listen to the muffled words through the closed bedroom door.

"Told ya to be quiet, she's tryin' to sleep," you heard Joel say.

"Sorry, the fucking wind took the door from me and this stupid backpack is so heavy. Why do I even need to go to school? Who cares about this stuff anymore?"

"I do, 'cause it keeps you out of trouble and outta my hair."

"Ha, yeah right. You know both those things are impossible, old man," you heard Ellie scoff.

"How the hell old do you think I am?"

"The way you can barely read the instructions on the back of that pasta box? You don't want me to answer that."

You grinned as you listened to the two of them bicker amongst themselves. You weren't sure when it happened, but at some point in the past several weeks, Joel and Ellie finally seemed to have a breakthrough in their relationship. You wanted to ask, but you didn't want to draw attention to it. The two of them were so alike in so many ways that you knew if you pointed it out, they would pull back and stop making progress. So in the meantime, you just enjoyed listening and watching them whenever you got the chance.

With a small grunt, you pushed yourself off the mattress and swung your legs over the side of the bed, taking a moment to catch your breath before reaching out and using the end table to support your weight so you could stand. Walking was getting easier; the worst part was still the healing gash in your thigh. Bill said the knife one of Amy's men used must have cut through some muscle, so you were slowly building your strength back up by taking very short walks around your bedroom every day.

With small, careful steps, you managed to get to your bedroom door and open it quietly, listening to Ellie helping Joel make spaghetti in the kitchen while she told him about her day. You stopped at the top of the stairs and peered down.

"Ellie?" you called out softly.

You heard a spoon clatter on the counter and Joel's heavy footsteps jog to the foot of the stairs. He looked up at you with a towel in his hand, worry etched across his face. Ellie quickly joined him and looked up at you with a grin.

"What's wrong? Why're you up?" Joel asked, taking the steps two at a time.

"Nothing!" you said with a smile as he reached the top and wrapped an arm around you gently to help steady you. "I just wanted to see Ellie."

"I thought you were asleep," she said, bounding up the stairs.

"C'mon, let's get back to bed," Joel urged. You sighed and allowed him to lead you back to the bedroom, but you chose to sit on the edge of the bed instead of getting back under the covers like he clearly wanted you to do.

"Come on, tell me what's going on out there. Joel's not much of a gossip," you told Ellie with a wink, and Joel huffed somewhere behind you, fixing the sheets.

"Well, Maria wants to get married the second you're back on your feet. Says she wants to do it before she starts showing," Ellie started, and you felt the mattress dip with Joel's weight next to you.

"Yeah, she told me that already. What else? How's school?"

"It's alright. I met a few girls, we hang out sometimes."

"That's great!" you told her, happy that she was acclimating well. "How's Julia?"

Ellie sighed and rolled her eyes at the mention of the older school teacher who graciously let her live with her.

"She's nice, but she's just got such strict rules. I've gotten into it with her a couple times when I was late for curfew," Ellie admitted, looking down at her fingers twisting in her lap.

"It's important that you listen to her, y'know. She's just lookin' out for you," Joel said softly, and you had to tuck your chin against your chest to hide your smile. He was so sweet with her now, like he had known her his whole life, and it took some time getting used to hearing it.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Ellie said sullenly. "I just get so bored. She spends her evenings planning her lessons or knitting. Knitting! It's so quiet over there, I feel like I'm going to lose my mind."

"Well, why don't you move in with us?" Joel asked with a shrug. Both you and Ellie froze, your eyes widened in shock. You slowly turned your head to the side to look at him, unable to form words.

"What?" he asked, swiveling his head back and forth when neither of you said anything.

You were about to respond when Ellie jumped up excitedly, about to wrap her arms around Joel's shoulders, then stopped herself.

"Really? Can I?" Her eyes darted between you both, a huge grin plastered across her face.

"Yeah," you said breathlessly with a nod. "Yeah, of course you can." You tried your best to blink back the tears that were quickly forming.

The three of you heard some hissing coming from downstairs and Joel leapt up, muttering about the water for the pasta as he clattered quickly down the steps, leaving just you and Ellie.

"Holy shit," she said, still grinning.

"Uh, yeah, 'holy shit' is right," you said with a chuckle.

"You didn't have anything to do with that?"

"Me? Nope," you said, quickly shaking your head. "Although it was on my mind, I just never found the right time to talk to him about it."

"Wow," she muttered, sitting on the bed next to you. "Guess he doesn't hate me, after all."

"Told you," you said, nudging her shoulder with your own.

You sat in silence for a moment, deep in thought while you listened to Joel muttering to himself in the kitchen. A smile played across your lips at the sheer domesticity of it. A feeling that you never thought you would get to experience just fell into your lap when you least expected it.

"I never got a chance to ask," you began, and Ellie turned her attention back towards you. "Does anyone else know?"

She shook her head.

"When you were passed out in the truck on the way back, Joel told me he had to tell Tommy and Maria but then he got so distracted with you at the infirmary that I guess he never got around to it."

You hummed and nodded, wondering if Joel truly forgot or if he changed his mind. Either way, you knew it would have to come out some day, but you had hoped it would be on Ellie's terms.

"And what did he tell Tommy? About the Fireflies?"

"The truth. Well, mostly. Just left out a few things. He told him they were working on a vaccine and that they kidnapped you, obviously."

"But how did he explain why they took me without telling him they really wanted you?" you asked, your pain killers making it tough to keep up.

"I told them they took people to experiment on," she said. "I thought that's what they were doing, anyway, at first."

You chewed your lip for a moment, eager to learn more but careful about pushing her too far.

"How did you guys find me?" you finally asked. You had tried to get the story out of Joel multiple times already, but he kept dodging the question, and the curiosity was getting the best of you.

Ellie's body stiffened next to you. She straightened her back as she took a sharp inhale of breath.

"He didn't tell you?"

You just shook your head slowly.

"Well, we, uh, went back to my aunt and uncle's house," she said, dropping her eyes to her lap. "He figured out they were the ones who called the Fireflies to come take you. Or, I guess me, but whatever."

"Oh," you said softly. You hadn't expected Ellie to know about any of that.

"It's alright, Joel told me after you were taken. That you thought they might've sold me off," she said, as if reading your mind.

"Ellie, I'm so sorry," you said, but she just shook her head.

"It's fine," she said, but you could see in her face she was hurt. After a moment, she added "it worked out in the end, right? I found you guys."

You gave her a tight smile as you felt the swell of emotions rising up your chest, squeezing your throat. You cared for Ellie so deeply that you were almost inclined to agree with her. Even though you were just as happy to have her in your lives, it still made you sick to think about what she had to endure to get there.

Then, you realized Ellie never elaborated about their return visit. You glanced over at her and wanted to ask, but decided against it. She looked upset enough, and if it was anything like you saw at the hospital, you preferred not to bring it up.

Joel startled you both by appearing silently in the doorframe.

"You girls ready to eat?"

Girls. The way he said it warmed your heart.

"So long as you didn't burn it," Ellie said teasingly as she stood up from the bed. "I'll bring some up for you," she said to you over your shoulder as she headed down the stairs.

"C'mon, lemme help you get back in bed and I'll get your tray," Joel said, but instead you held out a hand to stop him, making him look at you.

"Thank you," you whispered, cupping his face with both hands.

"For what?"

You smiled at him and he lifted an eyebrow at you, amused but curious.

"For giving me a family."

It took a few weeks, but your bones eventually healed and you were able to get back to work. Maria would only schedule you for half days and you argued that you could do more, but by the time you got home after only four hours, you had to admit you were exhausted.

Bill told you it would take some time for you to feel like yourself again, that it was completely normal and that you would need to build your strength back up. You had to constantly remind Joel you needed to start doing things for yourself, but he would still do whatever he could to keep you from getting up too much.

Joel heard you sigh from the bathroom and within seconds he was in the doorway, buttoning up his dress shirt with a tie draped loosely around his neck.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," you said quickly as you continued to stare into the mirror and fidget with your hair. "I can't get my hair to look the way I want it."

"I think you look beautiful," he said, sauntering over with his shirt still untucked to wrap his arms around your waist from behind, gazing at you in the mirror while he planted a quick kiss to your neck.

You sighed and tilted your head to the side, encouraging him to explore your neck more. You arched your back just a bit, pushing yourself back into his hips, causing his arms to stiffen around you.

"No funny business," he murmured against your skin, and you grinned.

"Not even a little funny business?" you teased, and you felt him chuckle lightly against your back.

"Nope. We're gonna be late," he said, pulling back suddenly but giving you a small tap on your ass with his palm before he walked away.

You glanced at the time and gasped quietly. He was right. Tommy and Maria's rehearsal dinner was in ten minutes, and even though it was just a handful of you at their house, you still didn't want to be late. Maria spent too much time planning this wedding and the last thing you were interested in doing was setting off the short fuse she had developed over the past couple weeks.

Quickly, you put on some old lipstick and fixed your dress before turning off the bathroom light. Joel was just finishing up knotting his tie, leaning forward a bit with his lips parted as he watched himself carefully in the mirror above your dresser and you had to resist the urge to push him down on the bed right then and there.

Ever since your energy slowly began coming back, so did your desire for Joel, but he was adamant about waiting until you were feeling better, which just left you feeling crazier by the day. You weren't sure if it was because you were finally on the mend, or maybe it had something to do with your breakthrough with him, but you found yourself feeling a lot needier than usual.

"Ready?" he asked you before running his fingers casually through his curls once more and walking over to you. You nodded, your lips pressed together as you glanced down at the blue shirt and navy slacks he picked out.

"You look good," you told him, your tone suggestive. He smirked and took your hand, leading you out of the bedroom.

"Ellie, we're leavin'," Joel called out to her, ignoring your compliment. "There's leftovers in the fridge!"

"Okay!" she called out, the sound of her music softly flowing through the floorboards as you made your way downstairs.

"Should we bring any pain killers in case you start gettin' sore?" Joel asked.

"No, I'll be fine."

"You sure? 'Cause-"

"Alright fine, we can bring them," you relented, just eager to get out of the house at this point. You pocketed them in your small purse and the two of you headed out towards Tommy and Maria's house, luckily arriving with two minutes to spare.

"How are you feeling?" you asked Maria as she greeted you with a warm hug.

"Me? What about you?" she said with a laugh.

"Oh, I'm fine! I want to hear all about you and what the future hellraiser is putting you through."

"She ain't fine," Joel said behind you, turning his head away from his brother. "Bill said-"

"Bill said I need to work on building up my strength. To me, that's fine," you told him, and he rolled his eyes.

"You two are so alike, it's scary, you know that?" Maria asked, leading you into the kitchen for a drink. You smiled and waved when you saw Carrie and Jake, along with Eugene and another woman who you thought was named Tina, but you couldn't quite remember, rounding out the rest of their wedding party.

"So really, how have you been feeling?" you asked her, taking the glass of wine she offered you.

"Nauseous, but it's getting a little better. And tired. Oh my god, I'm so tired all the damn time, it's crazy!"

"Oh, wow," you said, taking a sip before adding "you aren't even showing yet. How far along did Bill say you were?"

"I'm close to the end of the first trimester, thank god. He says that's when the nausea usually goes away and I should get some energy back," she said, checking the oven briefly before straightening back up. "But enough about me. How are you two?" she asked, nodding subtly towards Joel in the living room with Tommy and now Eugene.

"Better. Much better. We had a good talk after we got back, and I think we're on the same page," you said, glancing around the room at the others, making sure they were out of earshot.

"What page is that, exactly?" she pushed with a smirk.

"He's okay with not getting married or having kids," you replied with a noncommittal shrug. She narrowed her eyes at you and you frowned. "What?"

"Is that what you really want, though?"

"Well," you said, glancing around once again before lowering your voice. "I've come around to the whole marriage thing, but I don't really know how to tell him. I feel like I keep jerking him around and I don't know what to do."

"You need to be honest with him," she said immediately, and you rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but I just made this huge fuss -"

"It doesn't matter. This is your life, you have to do what's right. He might be confused at first but you know he will be so fucking ecstatic he will forget all about it, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," you said, glancing over your shoulder to watch him laugh with Tommy, a glass of whiskey in his hand. "I just need to figure out how to tell him."

"And kids?" she asked, causing you to whip your head back around.

"I'm not there yet. But maybe one day," you finally admitted, making her squeal out with excitement and causing the rest of the guests to look your way.

"Sorry! The chicken just came out perfectly!" Maria said with a giggle. You laughed with her as you locked eyes with Joel and he raised a curious eyebrow at you. You shrugged and gave him a quick smile before turning back to Maria.

"Alright, enough of that. What can I do to help?"

"You sure you ain't in any pain? Maybe you should take somethin' before bed," Joel said as he watched you wince when you leaned over to take your heels off.

"I'm okay, I promise. It's the damn shoes," you explained, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing your calf. "Was I this annoying when you were hurt?"

"Worse," he said with a grin before sitting down next to you and taking your legs over his lap, his own fingers taking over, rubbing the sore muscles and doing a far better job.

"Thank you," you said breathily as you closed your eyes and leaned forward so your head was resting on his shoulder. You sat in silence for a moment, his strong hands digging into your calves, content to be in your shared home with Ellie safe and sound, right down the hall.

"Joel?"

"Hm?"

"Something's different," you said softly, your eyes still closed.

"What'dya mean?" he murmured, his lips pressed against the top of your head.

"I feel... safe," you said, opening your eyes a bit and staring at the wall across from your bed, his fingers still working your legs.

"That's good, baby," he whispered.

"No, I mean..." you paused, searching for the words, not sure how to say it. "I mean I'm not scared anymore."

His fingers paused as he absorbed your words, trying to figure out what you were saying.

"That's... good," he repeated, not quite understanding. You sighed and tilted your face up to look at him, your arm stretching up to wrap around his neck, pulling him down for a soft kiss. Another time, you thought. You'll figure out how to explain it another time.

You slipped your tongue past his lips, your fingers raking through his hair as the hand that was once on your calf slowly migrated up past your knee and to your thigh. Greedily, you nipped at his bottom lip and leaned backwards so you were flat on the bed, Joel partially on top of you while your lips moved faster, leaving quick, desperate kisses against his mouth.

"Hang on," he whispered, but you kept going, your heart slamming in your chest. Now that you felt him on top of you again, it was sparking a fire between your legs.

"What's gotten into you?" he asked jokingly, pulling back a bit and pinning your wrists into the mattress, your chest heaving.

"Please, Joel," you begged, not caring how pathetic you sounded.

"C'mon, you know you ain't ready yet. You're still healing," he mumbled sweetly, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead.

"I am ready," you promised, but he just shook his head.

"We got a big day tomorrow," he whispered in your ear before sitting up, his weight no longer pressing against your upper half. "Let's just go to bed."

You pouted as you sat up next to him and he grinned.

"Ain't gonna work on me, sweetheart."

Then, an idea occurred to you. You shrugged and stood up, walking towards the bathroom as you slowly unzipped your dress, letting it pool at your feet only when you were in the safety of the small room. You turned around, hand on the door, only wearing your underwear as you took in Joel's slack jawed expression, his eyes slowly raking up and down your nearly naked frame.

"I'm gonna shower," you said quietly, his eyes still glued to your body. "You wanna join me?"

You could see the conflict in his face, trying so desperately to hold back and keep a clear head.

Finally, he forced himself to shake his head. You pouted again then shut the door, but not before sliding your underwear down your legs first, giving him a little show.

The water had barely gotten warm enough to step under the stream when he ripped open the shower curtain and stepped into the tub. You looked at him and smirked.

"I thought you said -"

He silenced you with his mouth covering yours, pushing you up against the cool tile while his knee slotted between your legs and his hand slowly drifted down your stomach. You gasped and smiled against his mouth when his fingers pressed exactly where you needed him.

"You need me that bad, huh?" he murmured against your mouth, and you nodded.

"Yes," you whined, arching your back off the wall, your wet body pressing up against his as his fingers dipped inside you and dragged them back out, smearing a mix of your arousal and water expertly over your clit.

"Can't be too loud, now," he reminded you, swallowing your breathless moans as his fingers circled faster. Your nails dug into his shoulders, holding on tightly as he brought you to the edge way too quickly, months of not being touched by him finally coming to a head.

"Joel," you whispered, burying your face into his neck as you felt the muscles in your stomach tense. He wrapped his other arm around your waist, holding you up just in time. Your legs went lax, your arms and Joel the only thing keeping you upright as you felt the coil in your belly snap, your sounds muffled against his skin and the water beating down around you.

"Better?" he asked when you finally found the strength to hold yourself back up. You nodded, your eyelids drooping, but you still slid your hand down his stomach. Right as you were about to wrap your fingers around him, he stopped you.

"Not tonight," he said, and you frowned. "It's late. We gotta get to bed."

If you weren't so exhausted, you would have put up a bigger fight. You leaned into him as he gently massaged shampoo into your hair, your eyes closed, blindly letting him direct you under the water to rinse before he got started on your body, his strong hands spreading the soap over your skin in circles.

He helped you get out of the tub and wrapped you in a towel as he dried your hair, his own body dripping water all over the floor. You lazily watched him work, a slow smile creeping across your face. He noticed and raised an eyebrow at you.

"I like it when you take care of me," you explained, and you swore you saw a little bit of pink dust his cheeks. He led you to bed, tucking the cool sheets around you as he brushed your damp hair away from your eyes. "Want you to take care of me forever," you mumbled as your eyes slid shut. He smiled, then his hand froze as his lips pursed in thought.

I feel safe.

I'm not scared anymore.

He finally understood what you were trying to tell him, and his heart began to flutter excitedly in his chest.

Tag List @nana90azevedo @ninaminaromina @untamedheart81 @taz-97 @nastiasnow @amyispxnk @plz-be-solo @iloveramensm @caitlynsixxx @anoverwhelmingdin @harriedandharassed @jessthebaker @txtattoostark @merz-8 @sarahhxx03 @oscarissac2099 @motherjoel @silas-222 @b3l1nd5 @rocket-raccoon-silvie @missladym1981 @angie2274 @maried01 @ashleyfilm @alltheotps @mybworlds

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #joel the last of us #tlou hbo #the last of us hbo #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller series #joel x reader #joel x reader smut #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #pedro pascal #the last of us game #the way we were joel miller fic #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #look what we've become joel miller fic

[dawnbreakersgaze]

All's Fair in Love and Kitty Cards:

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓑𝓲𝓰𝓰𝓮𝓻 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓐𝓻𝓮: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓗𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓕𝓪𝓵𝓵

❥ ┊𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲; You've decided to bring home an electronic board game of kitty cards, and make the oh so simple suggestion of playing strip kitty cards to entice your work weary boyfriend Zayne into trying it out with you. After all, you're THEE Queen of Kitty Cards herself- it's not like you could lose, right?

❥ ┊𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠; bullet fic format (sorry, don't have the energy to devote to full fic rn 😅), reader referred to as you/your and she/her, this one really got away from me omf it's longer than I mean it to be eek, not proof read, written in a whirlwind bc this idea would not leave me be until I got it out, not full smut but very suggestive, just good ol' fashioned romantic fun. Zayne thinks you're hot ♡

Yes, I will be doing Xavier and Rafayel as well

Zayne rarely got too serious with kitty cards. He'd rather watch you have fun than engage in a real competition. Your smile and serious expression were far more entertaining than any game, and the delighted light in your eyes after a victory (no matter how wide or narrow) was always his most welcome reward.

That was, until you brought home that new electronic board game version, setting it up before he'd gotten home and surprising him with it only moments after he'd taken off his shoes and coat.

At first he wasn't that interested. I mean the cats where half the fun of kitty cards lets be real, plus he was tired.

But when you suggested (with a wicked little glint in your eye that had his heart stop momentarily, mind you) that you guys play strip kitty cards, he stood there blinking in silence for a solid 15 seconds, just processing.

"How upset would you be if I won, though?" He carefully asked once he finally came out of it, that little smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. God he can be so smug sometimes.

You of course tell him that you're the literal Queen, Her Meowjesty the First, and this is your domain. You demand he put respect on that name and remember it well.

You'd come to eat those words later.

The first round you win easily. Just like every game before, it would seem the kitties favor you above all else (why wouldn't they, you were their Queen after all). He gives a soft chuckle, removing his vest and placing it over the back of his couch. "Round two, then?"

Round two seems to take a similar route. You almost feel bad for Zayne. He's always been a bit of a pushover when it comes to kitty cards, and as you fill the final cup cementing your victory 23-10, you watch as he loosens his tie tossing it aside and removing each sleeve garter, laying them on the table next to his vest chain. Zayne doesn't say anything this time, only watches you as you reshuffle the cards and get the board cleared for a new game.

Round three is where you finally start to feel him trying. It's a bit like reeling in a fish. You feel like you're making some headway and and then he'll pull out a Bye Bye on your double point kitty, or use a Purrcieve and discard your pink 6 kitty when there was an open pink cup. Nothing earth shattering- you could and did still wipe the floor with him, but the way Zayne watched you over the tops of his cards as he did so started to make you feel... vulnerable, despite all your layers.

When he finally sheds his third layer- his shirt- you realize all too late that you've fallen into the spider's web. With his broad, muscled shoulders, sharp collarbones that crowned his perfect pecs, and strong biceps corded with beautifully laced veins that traveled down his scarred forearms to his large hands that currently rested against those masterfully made lats and abs and.... oh.

Oh no.

Zayne catches you staring (how could he not, honestly. You were practically drooling), and regards you with that little quirk of his lip and raise of his brow. "Everything alright? Ready for round 4?" Worry starts to eat at you when you realize he doesn't sound at all worried. He's already shirtless only 3 layers from being completely nude, and he sounds like he's already won.

Not one to accept defeat so easily, you swallow, set your expression in determination, and deal the cards.

And yet

4 rounds later and Zayne had yet to remove another article of clothing.

Your clothes (and your dignity as The Queen) lay tossed about the room in a perfect metaphor for your current emotional state.

This man. THIS MAN. Despite all your usual tricks and banter, Zayne had refused every single one of your pleas to trade cards. No amount of begging or bargaining would be accepted tonight, and during your last attempt he'd made it very clear that should you ask again, he'd put the game away since you obviously weren't interested in actually testing your skills.

So here you sat. In your bra and panties, your metaphorical crown plucked from your head and reshaped into a dunce cone.

The kitties had forsaken you.

It had started out so well, but once that shirt came off it was suddenly so hard to focus. You'd find yourself watching as he'd roll his shoulder, gazing as his chest or ribs expanded with a particularly deep breath. Let your eyes linger on each and every scar that dappled his hands and forearms. Watch his Adam's apple bob as he'd take a particularly long drink of the water at his side.

Honestly, it seemed like the more layers you lost, the harder he was to ignore as well.

Little did you know the absolute torment this man was going through on his end.

Sure, setting the trap was easy enough. You were always so sure of your kitty card playing ability, and he so rarely put up a fight when you begged for mercy. However, turning your pleading down each time as you sat across from him in less and less clothing, looking at him with those big teary eyes was threatening to completely undo him. Listening to you whine his name and watch as your perfect lips pouted so full and glossy in the lamp light was too much, he couldn't take it.

You and your games would be the death of him, surly.

Round 6 is where his empire fell.

Your defeat was swift, of course. Zanye had struck gold with 4 Meow This in his hand, and pulled a complete shut out. It was like in the movies when the character watches in slow-mo as their impending death rushes towards them, and as you were left with no number cards to fill the last cup on your turn, you watched as Zayne placed his.

"I believe that's another win for me." His tone was proud- joyful, even. Typically one of your favorite expressions he made, if you were being honest. Something about Zayne's smug, rather cocky attitude really got you going sometimes, and sitting here for the last hour, ogling his shoulder and arms and hands and abs... well... that hadn't been helping the literal ocean between your thighs either.

Your silence (and likely the deer in the headlights expression you wore) spurred a warm chuckle from him, the sound both rich and comforting, yet still strange enough to snap you back to reality.

"I believe I've earned my next reward, correct?"

Oh... this bastard. This beautiful bastard.

Puffing your cheeks at him in a pout, you consider accusing him of cheating (partially in jest, you know he wouldn't, but also why is he SO DAMN GOOD all of a sudden??), but in the soft glow of the lights, your eyes catch his, and you see something darker. Immediately, your heart begins racing, skin prickling with the familiar feeling of anticipation in battle.

Wait, in battle?

This wasn't the first time you'd have taken your bra off in front of Zayne, so why did you feel so much like... prey in this moment? As your hand slowly reached behind you to find the clasp, it was apparent you weren't the only one feeling the weight in the air. The subtle creak of the couch let you know he'd leaned forward, eager to watch and enjoy the prize he'd rightfully won.

"What are you waiting for?" The subtle tilt and bob of his head mirrors the quick uptick at the corner of his mouth, a motion you're so familiar with by now. A playful gesture of his, reserved for those moments when he's feeling particularly teasing or goading.

It only stokes the fire in you, of course. The amber hues in his green eyes, further illuminated by the warm lamplight, bore into you despite his otherwise neutral expression.

With a flick of your wrist, the clasp is undone. You consider playing a bit, slowly sliding the straps down to tease and tempt, maybe using your arms to cover what he desired to see most. Surely he deserved a taste of his own medicine after obliterating you like this tonight, but his intensity is already near suffocating.

Instead, one at a time, you slipped your arm from each strap, and gently placed it at your side. The moment you felt the chill air hit you, it was audible that he'd noticed.

Oh sure, he tried to keep quiet. Tried to stop himself from letting out that small, strangled gasp when he watched your nipples pebble. Tried to still his thundering heart when your reactive shiver cut across you, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Tried to stop himself from whispering your name in a thick voice, telling you how beautiful you looked in the warm-glow lighting. At least he managed to temper his hand and hold it back from palming his quickly stiffening cock. Thank God for the small mercies.

His reaction was so much more than you'd been expecting. You'd been nude plenty of times before, like showering together, or that time you'd shared a hot spring once on vacation. Not to mention all the THE SEX. But this??

He had your body memorized at this point, but watching you strip layer by layer as you lost each round was really doing it for him?

The way his voice caught when he said your name, the way the muscles around his ribs stretched and relaxed as he took deep breaths to calm himself, the dilation of his pupils as his eyes trailed you from navel to nose, finally making eye contact after a lengthy pause on your lips.

Zayne might have been winning at kitty cards, but you were starting to get the feeling your luck was about to turn around.

"I forfeit." His normal, rational tone returns, albeit with great strain.

You sputter out a few expletives, dropping the stack of cards you'd started to shuffle. "What?! But we weren't- I was going to- I didn't even get to-!" Too many thoughts at once try tumbling from you, tangling on your tongue. How dare he! I mean sure you won, but a victory of forfeiture was hardly a victory worth bragging about.

Standing from the couch you watch as Zayne extends a large hand towards you, that same hungry look in his eye again that has you feeling small and vulnerable, and reminds you that you're very exposed.

"I've had my fun hunting the hunter. I think it's time I reward her for her win."

ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉⁿᵗˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ʳᵉᵇˡᵒᵍˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ᵃᵖᵖʳᵉᶜᶦᵃᵗᵉᵈᵎ ᵀʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒʳ ʳᵉᵃᵈᶦⁿᵍᵎ

#love and deepspace #lads #l&ds #lnds #love & deepspace #zayne #zayne love and deepspace #love and deepspace zayne #kay writes #god i love him #the thought of Zayne laying out the perfect plan only for it to completely backfire on him is just so canon at this point #Like hes so MAX intelligence DUMP wisdom #it makes for such a wonderful combo lmao- walking into his own trap like “oh no who could have predicted this” #zayne x you #zayne x reader #zayne x y/n #zayne x mc #zayne smut

[babyleostuff]

THE NIGHT WE MET

・❥・ for the 2k followers event

summary: the one where you meet a handsome stranger in the art gallery who is as beautiful as the paintings

[ pairing: idol!minghao x fem!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2k

warnings: a couple of swear words ]

song recommendation: the night we met by lord huron

Your steps echoed through the empty hall, as you entered the last room of the building. It was too early for anyone to be rummaging through the art gallery, even for you. It seemed like the universe wanted you to be here, though. At least that's what you were telling yourself. It certainly had nothing to do with the fact that school had been putting you in an emotional spiral for some time now and you wanted to be anywhere but there. 

So, as usual, you ran away to the place you always knew would cheer you up. 

Looking around the room filled with paintings all covered in beautiful pastel colours, depicting people who looked like they didn't have a single care in their lives, you stopped at your favourite, the biggest out of the collection. Every time you looked at it you felt a sense of peace and... carefree? You weren't sure why, but the girl on the swing looked so free, like she could do anything. Like she was truly happy. 

You’d do anything to feel like she did for just a moment.

"Don't you think The Swing is a bit overrated?" You were so lost in thought that you didn't hear someone approaching you. You huffed, shaking your head. If he was going to insult the painting, why did he say anything at all? Jerk.

“I wouldn't say that,” you stated, not looking at the stranger. You could tell it was a guy and he sounded like he was around the same age as you, maybe a little older. But you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of getting under your skin, so you continued to stare at the painting.

He chuckled lightly, as if he sensed that you were annoyed, which made you dislike him even more. Why did he have to speak at all, couldn't he look at the painting and just walk away like any other normal person?

"What do you like so much about it, then?"

"And what about it bothers you so much?" You muttered. A moment of silence passed and you started to wonder if you weren't being too harsh. "I'm sorry if, um... I offended you in any way. That wasn't my intention, really," he said, and you could tell from his voice that he meant it. You sighed, rubbing your forehead. If this continued, your social interactions would drop to zero.

"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to be so rude. I'm just not in the mood," you said and turned to the stranger. You were going to smile so you wouldn't look like a total bitch, but instead of doing that, your lips twisted into an 'o' shape.

This stranger, or rather the most beautiful guy you've ever seen, was looking at you with a curious expression.

"I-I'm tired lately and it turns out I'm not very nice to other people either," you wanted to hit yourself because that was literally the stupidest thing you could have said. "And it turns out I'm not very nice to other people either"? Well done. 

However, the stranger didn't look like he cared too much about what you said, he just nodded as if he totally understood what you meant. "I feel the same way sometimes," he admitted, turning his gaze towards the painting. "That's why I'm here now," he added.

You had trouble taking your eyes off his profile without looking like a total creep, but you honestly didn't think guys like that even existed. He looked perfect in every way. And it wasn't like you fell in love with every handsome guy you saw - love at first sight was overrated, but there was something about him that made you unable to take your eyes off him. 

"I'm guessing you're not from around here?" You asked. For a second, surprise crossed his face and his eyebrows furrowed, and you began to wonder if maybe you shouldn't have asked. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have,” you said, and with every second he didn't say anything, you became more and more convinced that he was the one pissed now. 

"No no. It’s okay" he said and looked back at you. His dark eyes, hidden behind glasses that you were sure were fake, landed on you. "It's just not often that I meet people who don't know who I am," he smiled and adjusted the sleeve of his white cardigan that had slipped off his shoulder. You gulped as your eyes landed on his sculpted arm, his white sleeveless shirt doing nothing to cover it. 

"Should I know who you are then?" You asked, taking a quick breath to calm yourself down. You were sure you had never seen him in your life, though, not even on the internet. Was he some sort of influencer? Maybe a YouTuber?

He chuckled, ruffling his black hair as if you had said something funny. "God, that sounded so pretentious. No, of course you don't need to know who I am."

But now you wanted, no - needed to know who this handsome stranger was, the one who decided to talk to you, a random person in the art gallery. Although it wasn't like he had much of a choice considering you were completely alone here. 

"Let's say I'm an artist."

"That doesn't tell me much. What type of artist?" You asked curiously. He looked at you, amused. "I create art on stage."

"Can't you just tell me who you are?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Now you were the one who couldn't stop from laughing. You guessed you wouldn't get more than that from him. "But it's not like Magic Mike, with you getting naked on stage and all?" Where the fuck did you get that from?

Great, it was your official self-embarrassment day. “Not that there's anything wrong with that,” you cleared your throat sheepishly.

You expected him to give you some sort of sarcastic remark, but instead his cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he looked just as embarrassed as you were. "No, but I dance too."

“Ah, that's where the painted nails and earrings come from,” you pointed to his ears and he touched them as if to make sure his gold jewellery was still there. “Yeah.” 

For the first time, a comfortable silence fell between you and you honestly didn't want it to end. You no longer cared whether he liked the painting or not, but you didn't want him to leave. You felt a certain comfort in his presence that you couldn't quite explain.

"I like this painting because when I look at it I feel calm. Like I don't have any worries and the world is covered in nothing but pink colours, making everything more beautiful," you said, getting lost in your thoughts again. "I wish life was sometimes just about swinging on a swing.” You felt his eyes on you, but he didn't say anything, as if he was thinking about what you just said.

"I never looked at it that way," he said, tilting his head. 

“Sometimes you just need to look at things from a different perspective,” you smiled. For some reason you couldn't stop it when he was next to you.

“I'm Xu Minghao,” he extended his hand towards you, which you shook lightly. It was a miracle that you even managed to say your name without fainting, his hand still in yours. "So assuming you're not from here, how long will you be staying in town?” You asked, finally letting go of his hand, no matter how much you wanted to keep holding it.

But then… Why did he seem to hesitate when he let go of yours, too? Your stomach seemed to do somersaults and your heart was beating twice as fast.

"I’m leaving tomorrow," he admitted, though you couldn't tell from his voice whether he was happy or sad about it. Looking at him, his thoughtful face that didn't look as content as yours when you looked at The Swing, you had a sudden urge to hug him.

He had a comforting presence, but for some reason you felt that he himself needed some comfort. 

“Um, would you like to maybe,” you held out one of your headphones towards him. "We can listen to something,” you proposed. He nodded, so you walked up to him, heart beating like crazy, with the headphone still in your hand. “Do you have a specific request, Minghao?” You asked.

“Let’s listen to the last song you listened to.” 

Your hands touched again as you handed him the earbud, and you could have sworn Minghao let out a nervous breath then. It turned out the wire was too short for you to keep a big distance, so you stood side by side, shoulders brushing. You unlocked your phone and played your most recent song, rewinding it to the beginning. 

The night we met.

“How ironic,” you muttered, as the first rays of rising sun poured through the gallery windows. Minghao smiled gently, looking down at you, with the softest gaze anyone has ever looked at you.

You felt like the whole world stopped at that moment - it was just you, Minghao, and the paintings, which for the first time weren't the most beautiful thing in the room. 

I had all and then most of you,

Some and now none of you,

Take me back to the night we met.

You wondered how long it would take you to forget Minghao and he would become just a memory of the handsome stranger, like a ghost that wouldn’t stop haunting you. 

I don't know what I'm supposed to do,

Haunted by the ghost of you.

“You have no idea how glad I am that I came here,” he said so quietly you thought you misheard him. "Actually, no one knows I'm here," he snorted. "My friends will kill me when I come back," Minghao shook his head. You felt like you had crossed every line of being a stranger, so you laid your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes.

When the night was full of terrors,

And your eyes were filled with tears,

When you had not touched me yet,

Oh, take me back to the night we met.

“I'm sure they'll understand,” you said, just as quietly as he did. “Everyone needs to get away for a while now and then.”

You stood like that for the next three minutes, your head on Minghao’s shoulder, his hand dangerously close to yours, connected by the cable of your headphones, staring at the painting that meant two different things to the both of you. You dragged out the moment when the song had to end, you wanted to stop this moment forever. "When do you have to go back?" 

"I still have one," he looked at his watch. "two hours. Then I have to leave.” You nodded. No matter how much his words hurt you, you decided it was better to use the time you had left. "I know this may be a bit lame, but would you like to go for some tea?" You asked.

His face immediately lit up and his eyes sparkled as if you just gave a new toy to a child.

"You're reading in my mind. Of course I'd like to go," he beamed as he said it. Now he was even more handsome, if that was possible. "Let me guess," you tapped your chin thoughtfully. “You're a green tea type.” He chuckled, causing your shoulders to brush again.

"You are amazing." For a moment, there was no air in your lungs and no words in your mouth. How were you supposed to respond to something like that? 

“Let's go then, Mr. Xu,” he smiled and extended his hand to you and you gladly took it. 

This time, however, you didn't let it go.

Take me back to the night we met.

[...]

You opened Twitter because you knew that if you wanted to find someone, it was there. You clicked on the first video that appeared to you. "I don't understand but I love you" fancam. Interesting.

You sat up more comfortably on the bed, as the first tunes of the song started playing. So he was a singer, right? What did he mean by saying he did dancing too, though? 

But with every second that the video was playing, your eyes were getting bigger and bigger.

"What the fuck?"

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @eightlightstar @itza-meee @immabecreepin @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @dkswife @marisblogg @whatsgyud @aaniag @jeonghansshitester @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @soul-is-a-strange-kid @ohmyhuenings

#2kfollowersevent #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen x you #seventeen x reader #seventeen kpop #seventeen #minghao #xu minghao #fanfic #svt imagines #svt fluff #svt scenarios #seventeen reactions #minghao imagines #minghao x you #minghao x reader #kpop au #minghao fluff #svt reactions #minghao fanfic #xu minghao fluff #minghao x y/n #the8 imagines #the8 scenarios #the8 seventeen #seventeen the8 #the8 x you #svt the8 #seventeen reaction

[ratsonastick]

You definitely don’t have to do this if you don’t want too! Clarisse x reader where the reader has always been naturally quiet and doesn’t think their good enough for Clarisse cause their total opposites

OF COURSE!!! I am not sure if this is the best, but I tried giving you the before and during the relationship

Requests are still open!

Clarisse La Rue x ShyFem!Reader

Let’s just say you are not one many people know about at camp. You can’t help it but you are honestly just very unsocial because putting yourself out there seems like a lot of work.

You have friends … let's make that clear, but it's not a lot. 

Ever since you have been at camp you've had a FAT crush on Clarisse, I mean who wouldn't? Well maybe a couple of kids because she is very aggressive, but you find it charming. 

But you would never have a chance with her. Because firstly, if you can't even ask the cabin counselor for some help then you most definitely won't be able to ask her on a date. And secondly, you are the complete opposites! You wouldn't last a week together. 

She is loud, not afraid to make her voice heard, and scares others. And you … well you just let things happen and hope for the best.

Not only that she's so athletic and fit. And it's not that you aren't unfit, it's just that you’d prefer sitting alone or with friends. 

Only one of your friends, Nicole, knew of this crush, and she supported it entirely. Every time you walked past Clarisse you'd keep your head down but Nicole would nudge your shoulder and let out a giggle. 

You avoided Clarisse as much as you could but it wasn't till one day when you were asked to bring supplies to the sword training field did you have to talk to her. 

You were SHY! Couldn't look that woman in the eyes as she questioned you. She thought it was cute, to say the least.

“Chiron wanted me to bring these here for you guys to try out,” you spoke softly, setting down a metal bin full of new weapons and other nonsense. Clarisse hummed in approval and picked up a new handle grip. 

Luke, one of the boys from the Hermes cabin walked over with a smile on his face “Finally he took our advice on what stuff we needed … Thanks for bringing them Y/n” he nudged your shoulder in a friendly manor. 

You were surprised he knew your name. You noticed Clarisse sending what looked like a glare in your direction and you took that as a hint to leave. 

“Y/n” her voice called out and you immediately turned to look at her “You good with a sword? I need a new sparring partner … one who I don't know every boring move they make.” She spoke in a harsh voice rolling her eyes in the direction of Luke who was twisting his sword around and making noises like it was a lightsaber. 

“I'm not good with swords, I'm more of an archery type of girlie.” You responded “Sorry” 

Your hands were sweating as you gazed down at the ground. “Then let me teach you … every demigod needs to know how to work every weapon.” she looked you up and down before stepping away, hinting you to follow. 

She picked up her sword and then a spare and handed it to you. You stood there like a dork, and she took a stance.

After what felt like hours she finally stopped, “You're not that bad.” 

“Thanks, you mumbled” trying to catch your breath as you handed back the sword to her. The sun was setting and you felt a rumble in your stomach. “Uhm I should probably get going … I promised my friend I’d get to dinner early for her.” 

Clarisse nodded her head eyeing you “Fine.” 

When you arrived at the dinner pavilion you took your spot at your cabin's table, your friend slapping your shoulder slightly in annoyance for your lateness. 

Eventually, Clarisse arrived sitting down at her cabin's table, and filling her plate with food, she noticed you sitting with your friends. How they all talked loudly and yet you just sat there quietly eating, once in a while smiling at what was being said. 

She thought it was … cute? But she didn't like the mysterious card you were trying to play. 

So the next time she saw you walking past the training field she called your name, with her hands on her hips and hair pulled back as she waited for you to come to her. “Yes?” 

She hinted to the sword on the ground and you picked it up. Luke and Chris had noticed her change of behavior, especially towards you. If that was Luke she called over and he was confused as to why, she would have called him an idiot and to go kill himself. 

But she didn’t tell you. 

After an hour of training, she tripped you and you fell, “Why don't you fight back … you need to slander me.” 

“I'm good” you mumbled standing back up and swinging back “Why are you so quiet? I've seen you yell before yet you won't now.” she taunted you … but hey at least she's noticed you before! 

“I'm just naturally quiet, I'm not big on yelling, it's a lot of work.” You spoke up, clashing the sword down onto hers, this made her smirk slightly. 

When you guys finished up and sat down on the grass she took a sip of water from your water bottle and then handed it to you.

“I want you to go out with me,” she said, looking out in the distance “You're strange,” she spoke up once more. 

“Oh?” 

“You don't have a choice, so don't act bitchy when I pick you up from your cabin. I want you pretty and sweet.” She added with a demanding tone. 

And that's what you did. 

After 2 weeks of dating? (Clarisse wouldn’t clarify, I think she just figured you knew you were because if you looked at anyone else she'd glare at you) you began to have doubts. 

What if your relationship wouldn't work out, you were so completely different it was almost awkward. 

Like for example, when you were told to sit with her at the Ares cabin table, they were all so rowdy and she just kept laughing, and you just sat there with a blank face. 

Or when you went on a library date, she figured that was code for making out, but it was actually just you wanting some company while you read. (She was a little disappointed she couldn't hold your hips)

And it wasn’t just you who thought the relationship was a bit weird, Nicole (that wench) also believed the relationship was … different? But she thought it was so cute how Clarisse was the voice that you didn't like to use. 

For example, when this kid kept talking and was so annoying at the campfire, you gave Clarisse a look that didn't really mean anything but also meant a lot and she shouted at the kid to shut up. 

All the differences outweighed the similarities and it only made you worry, which caused you to distance yourself. 

One thing you didn't realize though is how much Clarisse believed you to be adorable, and how she loved seeing a different side of you when you are alone. Even if it's only a little bit more talkative than usual. 

But she wouldn’t tell you that. Hell no. 

This worry drove you to a lot of self reflection, which took place in your bunk. A party was happening that night and you thought to yourself that maybe if you went and showed how you could act, Clarisse might think you are good enough and keep you around. 

So you found yourself getting dressed with a scowl, sliding a tank top over your head and putting on a skirt. It was a party at the Aphrodite's cabin, and you knew she'd be there for this. 

So when the time came you walked over, and just as you approached the cabin you heard a whistle, you turned and saw Luke and Chris walking a bit behind Clarisse and her siblings. Clarisse gave them a death stare and shouted 'shut up' and walked over to you, leaving her siblings. 

“What are you doing here baby? I thought you said you weren't gonna come.” She said in a soft voice, but in your head, she sounded disappointed, maybe she didn't want you there so she could hook up with some other girl. 

“I wanted to surprise you… I can leave if you want me to.” But Clarisse shook her head grabbing onto your waist “If you leave I'll only follow. I'm just surprised you came, I know this isn't your type of scene.” 

Which was true, you only go to parties with your friends. 

“I just wanted to show you that I can be sociable” you mumbled looking at her with soft eyes which caused her to smile “I know you are princess … but you don't have to go out of your way to change yourself just to prove you can be like me so we are more alike.''

She spoke gently, and she knew that if anyone heard her act this way she'd pause the conversation just to stab them. 

You felt embarrassed now, becoming very aware of how you looked. “You look hot though baby” She mumbled through a smile as she gently kissed you. “Wanna go back to your bunk?” she asked and you nodded your head with a smile.

#luke castellan #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #x reader #clarisse x reader #clarisse la rue #wlw #reqs open

[ladyloveandjustice]

To give my Real Opinion on the whole Clark vs Lois issue (since people are giving me theirs), I'm surprised it is an issue, since it's very clearly supposed to be an conflict where both people made decisions that made sense from their point of view but still hurt each other. It makes sense that Clark would be insecure about telling Lois this when she's acting distrustful of Superman, and it makes sense he'd freak out and not handle a situation where she was putting a lot of pressure on him well. It also makes sense that Lois would be angry (and probably humiliated) and upset that Clark not only lied to her face when she was begging him to tell her the truth, but left her where she couldn't help him when she was worried sick about him.

Honestly, I think a lot of you aren't being honest about how you'd feel if you had a friend who disappeared every time something dangerous happened, you spent a lot of time frantically searching and worrying about that friend each time, only to find out oh hey, your friend was well aware of how worried you were and was actually right there but they were pretending to be someone else instead of letting you in on what was happening. You'd feel played with.

And Clark also KEPT lying when she was basically saying "hey stop lying to me. I know." He did it instinctively. She was begging him to tell her, and he didn't. That's going to hurt, and that's going to be galling. She definitely felt she had no other choice than to do something drastic, because she can't enter a relationship with someone she knows is lying to her and here he is, refusing to come clean. She's a reporter, the need to know drives her.

"Lois isn't entitled to Clark's private information, they haven't known each other that long", sure, but Clark vanishes in dangerous situations and causes real distress, Clark has been discussing Superman with Lois and unconsciously trying to manipulate her feelings on him while not telling her the whole truth, and you'd feel weird if someone did that, you'd feel kinda violated! And even if someone told you they weren't doing that to laugh at you, wouldn't you be hurt and humiliated?!

When exactly IS Lois entitled to Clark's info? When they start dating? How many months is it okay for him to date her without him telling her he's actually the guy she spends every waking minute trying to interview? Would he have told her as their relationship got serious? Not knowing that is probably scary and if I was Lois I'd think twice about if I wanted this either!

And what's especially scary is that yeah, he did leave her behind to so he could possibly go get killed when she was begging him not to. That's terrifying. She was probably terrified the entire time she waited. He was able to take her choice away from her, and Lois does not like feeling helpless. Clark was scared of her getting hurt, so he enforced his will and so shewas scared for HIM. and then he refused to talk about those worries!

It's also pretty galling when she's already helped him out in several fights- she's proven she can be useful and helpful! I'd be mad too! I'm sure there was a little vindictiveness in her actions- you see how you like it when someone takes your choice away too.

At the same time, Clark is clearly not comfortable showing people his whole self. He still doesn't know who he is, and he goes into panic mode about it. He's very scared of people being hurt because of him. What he did made sense from his point of view. And I'm sure he's not happy to be forced to reveal his secret.

It doesn't matter 'who's more right'. It's not a game they get to win! They both violated each other's boundaries. Their feelings both make sense from their perspective, and interesting conflicts are complicated. And I like it when characters don't just react to everything flawlessly. There's a lot of drama in secret identities, and sometimes stories have conflict.

I do agree this should have happened later in the season or as a season 2 thing, but that's sadly just life in this streaming hell era. They didn't know if they'd get a season 2 to tell the story they wanted. We have to take the conflict as it is. And let's face it, if Lois had taken longer to figure out, y'all would be making fun of her for being dumb. Lois is for some reason always the butt of that joke even though nobody else can see Clark is Superman either- and when she does figure it out (as she usually does!) and has anything other than positive feelings about it she still gets blamed. Just enjoy having a character who can have complex feelings.

If you hate relationship conflict, there's stuff for you out there! Read Superman Family Adventures by Art Baltazar, it's very cute low stakes low conflict stuff and has an actual Himbo Clark.

#my adventures with superman #my adventures with superman spoilers #lois lane #clark kent #superman

[hexofvex]

Jealousy headcanons with my Anemo favs ft. Gender Neutral!Reader

Characters: Wanderer, Xiao and Kazuha

CW: jealous behaviour (especially worse in Scara's), a bit of swearing

Total WC: 1348 words

A/N: Switching it up a bit until I get a good one-shot idea. I'm kind of using the idea of the nations having their own languages plus a common language in Kazuha's. Also I'm sorry Kazuha's is shorter I hope you enjoy it tho <3 and as always feedback is appreaciated!

Kazuha

Kazuha is the least jealous out of these three

He's rarely ever jealous if anything

He's very confident in the stability of your relationship

However, when he gets jealous, it's directed at the outsider, he's more annoyed than anything

Would probably just intrerrupt the conversation to place a kiss on your cheek (yk to show the person in question that they don't have a chance)

You'd obviously notice his that his atitude is a bit more cheeky than usual tho

And you'd be a tad bit surprised, because you didn't really expect something like this out of him

Kazuha was not the type to get irritated easily.

But as he watches the owner of dango stall flirt with you (shamelessly, I might add), he feels his jaw tensing up. Honestly, why were they dragging this out so much? He'd been so excited to show you around Inazuma City, and for the last fifteen minutes you were stuck at the dango stall.

Of course, you had no way of knowing what the seller was saying because of the specific expressions they were using, but he understood all too well. You were nodding your head politely, with a smile that looked more pained by each minute that passed.

When he's had enough, he walks over to the stall. "My love?"

You turn to face him, and he leans over to place a soft kiss on your cheek. "We need to leave."

You try to hide the wave of relief that washes over your face, as Kazuha explains something to the vendor. When they realise the context of your relationship, their attitude changes as embarrassment blooms in their expression, and Kazuha can't deny the exquisite satisfaction he feels at the sight.

"What did you tell them?" you ask, as the two of you continue your walk through the city.

"That we are two travelers that need to get back to Ritou, to catch our ship."

Not exactly a lie. Maybe except for the fact that the Alcor leaves in three days.

"Thanks for the save." Your lips curl up into a smirk. "Was kissing me a core part of the plan?"

Kazuha smiles, the kind of radiant smile that is more than enough to give you butterflies.

"Sorry, my dear. But if you knew the things they said to you...I just couldn't help myself."

Xiao

Very jealous, but tries his best to hide it

He thinks it's embaressing, how can an adeptus feel things such as jealousy

He also feels guilty and criticizes himself for not trusting you through and through

He knows, at a rational level, that you love him, so why is it that he feels like this?

(Un)fortunately for him, he can't hide shit from you emotion wise

Xiao felt like his head was underwater, barely registering what you were saying.

You had just returned from a comission which you had taken together with another adventurer. You were just telling him how glad you were that you ended up with a partner that could carry their own.

Someone that feels like an actual partner.

That's what you said, and although he knew it wasn't that kind of partner, he couldn't stop the thoughts from flooding into his brain. Would you need him anymore? He was so complicated and hard to handle, especially when karmic debt was taking a toll on him, it wouldn't be hard for you to find someone less exhausting-

"Xiao?"

The adeptus returns to the present, broken out by your voice. You're standing in front of him, puzzled look on your face.

"Did you zone out?"

Xiao swallows. "No. I was listening."

You frown. "What was I saying?"

"You were talking about the stone slates."

"I was, five minutes ago." You face softens as you take a few steps closer to him. "Xiao? Love, are you sure you're alright? Did something happen while I was gone? Is it the karmic debt? I'll go to the harbour right away to bring more medicine if you need it-"

"No. You don't need to worry, this is no matter. Continue your story...about...your friend." He curses himself for the way his voice cracks on the word friend. And of course, you notice, and your expression shifts to a lesser degree of worry.

"Are you jealous?"

"That is beaneath adepti-"

"It's fine if you are, you know. I mean, not fine for you, but, you don't need to feel embaressed about it. It's just how feelings are sometimes. You know I'd never actually...you know..."

His eyes widen. "No, of course not! I- Forgive me." He takes a deep breath. "I do not know what to do about it, you know this is all very new to me."

"Well,I guess I just have to show you until we crush every shadow of doubt." You cup his face and slowly press your lips to his. It's a simple kiss, but you make sure it communicates your feelings.

"A little better?" You ask after you pull away.

"Yes," he replies and pulls you in again.

Wanderer

Literally unbearable

Y'all know that meme that goes "You're the most jealous man I've ever known." "You know other men?"

Yeah that's him, but he does that with everyone

His abandonment issues are big as hell, it was kind of to be expected.

Unlike Xiao, he doesn't even try to hide his jealousy

The type of person to wake you up in the middle of the night to ask if you really love him

The fact that you're with his insufferable ass should be proof enough

You're sitting in your room, enjoying a book, drinking your tea, until you feel a disturbance in the force, when you hear the door to your house getting slammed.

And before you even get to process what's going on, said disturbance walks in your room.

"Who was that turnip head that was flirting with you earlier today?"

You close your book, put down your cup and lean back in your chair, crossing your hands.

"What?"

"About 10 A.M., in front of the Akademiya."

"Ah. That was a colleague. And they're taken, in case that helps ease your mind."

"Good."

"You know, have you ever considered that perhaps I'm not looking to cheat on you at every corner?"

Noticing the hurt tone of your voice, he backs off and the anger fades from his face.

"I might have acted too brashly."

"You think?" You leave your book and cup of tea abandoned on the table as you head towards the door. You stop and turn your head to face him. "I won't betray you, Kunikuzushi. You should know I wouldn't do that."

"I know that."

"Then what's the problem!?"

He sighs and avoids your gaze.

"I am. The more time I spend in your presence the deeper I fall. It is only natural that I wish to preserve this partnership of ours. Does that make sense to you, [Name]?"

Although you're familiar with his straightforwardness, such an admission still delivers a bit of shock.

"It does. Because I want the same thing."

You step closer to him and turn his head so he's facing you.

"You don't need to do all this. I love you, that's the whole reason why I'm with you. If you'd see things from my perspective, you'd never have these thoughts again."

He's silent for a moment, until he grabs your hand and squeezes it.

"I will make attempts to get rid of this. Because I want to believe in your love. Are you willing to believe in mine?"

You laugh. "What kind of question is that? Of course I am. Why do you think I'm still here?"

"It might not go perfectly on the first try, you know."

"I'm alright with that. Just try. You can do that for me."

He lets go of your hand and goes to cup your face, bringing it so close to his that your noses are touching, and you can see the swirls of fiery determination in his eyes.

"I cannot know the results, but I could attempt anything for you."

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #xiao x reader #kazuha x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader

[senseichaos]

Howdy howdy! I ADORED "You Can't Run. Hell. You Can't Even Hide" The balance between absolute fear, dizzy hypnotic confusion, and wide eyed admiration that the reader character holds for Vox is immaculate! Also them calling him Mister Vox is just Chef's kiss (it is WAY too hard to find xReader fics or even just fics in general where the honorific is Mister (C/N) and I love every one I find). The clothing change moment was probably my favorite, I'll always be a sucker for the representation of being broken and rebuilt in someone's image combined with the gift of pretty clothes. I keep going back to reread the whole story.

I know it's a oneshot, but since your requests are open, I figured I'd shoot my shot and ask if you would make a part two where Mister Vox just wrecks us, preferably sexually. We did leave off on him finding us trying to run away, do we not deserve to be punished for such an offense after all he's done for us? I also would love to see if/how much Vox has to push us to slowly become happy to be his, if that's something he wants (I could imagine having a rowdy unwilling runaway as his possession would get frustrating after awhile and be terrible for his image). There's honestly so much potential for what could happen next, and even though I could stew in my imagination, I would very much love to be at the mercy of your interpretation of the funky TV man a little longer.

That said, take your time, I know you've gotten a huge influx of Hazbin requests, hell I wouldn't be surprised if someone else already requested something similar to what I requested. I also understand if you can't/don't want to fulfill this request for any reason, that's what makes it a request. No matter what, you're an amazing writer and I hope you have a wonderful day!

💙✨

AAAAAAH!! I love you sm! When I saw this request I knew I had to do it at some point! I'm giving you the name 💙 anon from now on so if you request again I know it's you!

_______

Forever and always

(part 2 to: You can't run. Hell, you can't hide either)

Summary: After that day you attempted to escape from Vox, you had become somewhat accustomed to this new life you are forced to be living. Or you were until Vox gives you your first day off, causing you to find something out that would change how you live forever.

Genre: Smut, Angst, Horror (?)

Warnings: Non-Con, Yandere behavior, Possessive behavior, Sadism, Masochism, Electric shocks, Mind control, Drugging, Love potion, Vox is an asshole, Hurtful language, forced, gilded cage, soul contracts, unprotected sex (DONT), Vox owns reader, dacryphilia, let me know if I missed any!!

(not proof read)

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That day you attempted to escape from your gilded cage you wished to escape again, though vox had managed to continue his control. Even when he tugged you back by your electric leash you felt that horrid sinking feeling. This was it. For the rest of eternity as you know it Vox has you. He owns you, your soul, your body, your life; or well, lack thereof. You couldn't run from him no matter what you did, he practically controls the pride ring, keeping you tethered there like a puppy on a leash is simple to him. He has eyes everywhere. You cannot hide anywhere.

Recently Mister Vox has become a lot more... Touchy. Those fleeting touches of his fingers against your back, poking against your chin, pressing into your neck, swiping against your bottom, touching against your bosom. There is an odd burning feeling to it, you don't want to enjoy Mister Vox touching you in such ways, you don't want to enjoy it when he sucks his teeth at you or licks his tongue against his gums. But you do. You can't quench that desire. Especially when he'd moved you into his room from your apartment building. He hadn't made you share a bed with him, thank Lucifer, but he had made you sleep near enough to him that you can tell when he's.. pleasuring himself. Almost as if he wants you to hear him.

You and Mister Vox have never been better, besides from such hurdles. You stay obedient no matter how badly you wish to escape his arms. To cut all of his tight bounds on your body and run away. You'd figure out how, one day, you would.

"Good morning my dear! Did you have a gratifying sleep?" This is how most mornings go, Mister Vox will wake you with a poke if your side and a coffee in hand, already fully dressed and done up. You've always considered yourself a light sleeper, so you never know how he manages to make you a coffee every morning without so much as stirring you awake. You smile, nodding softly as you pry your eyes from his two dimensional face.

"Thank you Mister Vox, uhm.. did you have a good sleep as well?" You ask, taking a sip of the perfectly made coffee. Vox smiles, nodding as he takes a seat on the side of your bed.

"Of course, my dear. So, I know you have been working very hard recently... So I've decided to give you the day off!" Mister Vox declares, outstretching his hands as he gives you a manic smile. A day off? Why? This has to be a test. he's just going to leave you.. alone? For a whole day? This has to be fake, a joke, a flook.

"Oh my dear don't look so surprised! You've been a very good girl recently so I thought you deserved a day off," Mister Vox pauses, looking up at the roof for a second before peering back at you. "Now don't think this means we don't have rules, you are to stay in here for the day. If you want to go shopping I have to accompany you, alright? But I do have an appointment in an hour so it won't be for long,"

"Remember, I have eyes everywhere.."

You laugh awkwardly, shrinking into your own figure.

"I know Mister Vox.. I wouldn't forget," You can't stop that sorrow from entering your voice, but quickly you put on that mask of a smile once again. Mister Vox clasps his hands together, that red dripping from his maw again. "Great! Now I'll see you soon, be a good girl for me, hm?" He says, ruffling your hair atop your head with a condescending gaze.

"Yes Mister Vox," you reply simply, watching as he disappears in Into a blue line of electricity, shooting into the camera.

Fuck. Now what?

You can't remember the last time you were given this type of freedom, even if it wasn't a lot of freedom. Often you were tethered to Vox's side. Everyone in the building knows that you belong to Vox. Everyone outside of the building probably knows this, too.

There's this odd feeling in your stomach, this odd feeling as if you were floating. It happened every time you drank your morning coffee, but you'd always assumed it was just that feeling of awakening from slumber. But today, oh today it is stronger than ever before. It's as if you can feel every nerve in your body be rewired, every single hair on your body stand on end. Every sensation is doubled.

What the fuck was in this coffee? What is this euphoria? What is this yearning.. this yearning for Vox? You suddenly wish he was here, with you, holding you, calling you his good girl.. m

Shaking your head to rid yourself of such thoughts, you stand from your bed, fixing the large blue shirt you wear (that vox often asks you to wear when you sleep) as you walk to the kitchen.

The kitchen in Mister Vox's room is a large area just off to the side of his desk space, lined with many kitchen appliances and red cabinets. You are determined to figure out what he's putting in your coffee, what's making you feel so emotional. Needy. Awful. You scan the room, finding the coffee machine in the corner of the room with a couple bags next to it. Coffee, sugar, creamer... Nothing suspicious yet, it seems. Crouching down, you look open the cabinets beneath the coffee machine. Looking through the half full area.

Then you saw it, a small vial hidden behind a spare bag of creamer labeled 'Valentino and Velvette: Love potion'.

Terror shoots through you, causing you to drop the vial to the floor. It shatters everywhere, leaving the pink liquid to seep into the tiles below. He's drugging you. All this time, you feeling this want for him, burning at his touch, listening to him as he jerks himself off late at night. You wanting him to do things to you. It's all part of his plan to make you his, completely. To make you want to be his.

Burning tears fall down your cheeks, humoring you as you stand on shaky legs from the tile. What do you do? Now more than ever you want an out, a loophole, a way to take your soul back from his greedy claws. Anxiety, terror, hurt, worry, pain.

You want to prevent yourself from doing anything drastic, you really do. But all you can feel is this pain, this pain as you run on your feet to the balcony door. Trying your hardest to pry open the doors as they rattle loudly, shaking them, pulling them, pushing them. This evil man can't keep you here for any longer. You'd do anything to leave, ruin yourself for him, do something awful, make yourself less attractive to him.

Nausea. Headache. Your knees buckle as an electric blue overtakes your vision. What is this? You can't breathe, Vox. Vox. Help. Your head clouds, words fill your brain and you feel yourself being wrapped up by sharp claws. You can't scream. Help me. Please.

"You really think it's that easy?" Mister Vox.

"I can't believe I trusted you alone, even for a minute. After all I've done for you, as well. After I gave you a life some would dream for. Stupid girl." He sounds mad, horridly mad. Regretful. Throbbing takes over your body as sound waves film your ears. You can feel him lift you into his arms, placing you down onto a soft surface harshly.

"How am I supposed to make you understand this? You're mine,"

Your vision slowly comes back, until all you can see is him as he stares at you from above. His eyes are dark, domineering, needing. He's ready to take. What is he doing? All you can feel is his claw as it travels up your middle, between the valley of your breasts, stopping at the middle of your neck.

"Now, my dear? Are you going to let me teach you a lesson? For being such a brat?" You gasp, feeling his hand as it circles around your neck, effectively taking some air from your lungs. You shake your head, attempting to move your heavy legs from him with wet teary eyes.

"Nonono! Get off, please, get off!" You cry, writhing in his grasp. He sighs, rolling his eyes as he clicks his fingers. Suddenly a pulse of electricity goes through you, causing a shock to blur your eyes and pull a scream from you.

"Every time you try anything I'm shocking you, Dove. Don't try to escape from me, it's not going to work," he grins, laughing at your frightened teary eyes. "I can do whatever I want to you, my dear! I fucking own you!!" He growls, using his hand that isn't around your neck to push your thighs to your chest, revealing your bare pussy from beneath your oversized shirt.

"No please.. I'll do anything..?"

"Oh I'm sorry dear, but this is what I want more than anything right now.. maybe you should have thought of this before making such a racket and alerting everyone in the building, hm?" He says, dragging his clawed finger through your building wetness. He finally takes his hand from your neck, instead using it to keep your thighs in place as he pinches your clit between his sharp claws.

"Ah! Mister Vox.. hurts..!" You wail, wiping your tears from your eyes as he continues to abuse your sensitive bud between his fingers. He chuckles looking up at you as you gasp in pain.

"Hah! Wail all you want, dear, no one can save you." Vox guffaws, finally taking his claws from your clit. Only to plunge them into your aching hole without warning. You moan out, feeling the sharpness of them inside of you as he curls his fingers into your g-spot.

Mister Vox revels in your wails of pain and pleasure, fucking you with his clawed fingers harsh and fast. His claws are surely are scratching you from the Inside, he can tell by the way your hands tremble and clasp over your lips.

You can't help but feel good. This masochism of yours that forces it's way into you. Every scratch of his fingers inside of you just makes you want to cum. You can't give him that satisfaction, you can't let him know that you are enjoying every second of his claws thrusting inside of you. This is awful. You hate it. You hate that you love it.

"Is my little dove enjoying this? Awe.. to scared to admit you fucking love this?" Vox laughs sadistically, giving you an extremely harsh thrust of his fingers into your g-spot. You squeal, vision going white for a moment as his fingers go at this manic speed. You feel your orgasm build, wishing to break through the walls and release. But you can't let it, you won't let him have that. You'll never let him have that feeling knowing he's won.

"If you don't cum I'll fucking ruin you, dove."

You gasp and choke on saliva, clawing on the bedsheets below as he forces you to orgasm. There's no getting out. He knows that you are trying not to cum. And he won't let it happen.

"Yes.. Mister Vox.." you say softly, hole clenching around his fingers as your orgasm crashes over you in waves. Vox makes sure to drag it out, giving you slow rhythmic thrusts of his fingers to watch your body contract and writhe with pleasure.

"Good dove, listening to commands for me," He says softly, stroking the side of your cheek as he kneels between your legs. You want to pull away, but once again that burning and yearning feeling fills you. That stupid potion had an effect, and you can tell. From the way you feel a dizzy want when he looks at you to the wetness that continues to build between your thighs.

"Now, I'm going to fuck you so hard.." He laughs so himself, smiling crazily as he presses his hand to his face. "I'm gonna fuck you SO FUCKING hard, you won't even remember who I am anymore! How does that sound, my little slut?" Your lower lip wobbles as more tears threaten to fall from your eyes.

"Awful.." you whisper.

Another strong electric shock goes through you, causing you to scream out Mister Vox's name in pain as your body is left shaking and aching.

From the corner of your eye, you see Vox unzipping his fly.

"Wrong answer! Haha! Wrong fucking answer stupid slut," He growls, pressing the tip of his cock to your hole without a care. There something wrong with him, he's acting more crazy than ever before. He's getting off on your fear, getting off on your pain, getting off on knowing you can't do anything but be his.

With a loud slap, Vox sinks his entire length into you. You scream, clutching onto the bedsheets for dear life as he looms over you. He doesn't even give you a moment to let you rest, immediately setting a ruthless pace with his hips into yours. Every thrust causes your vision to go spotty with the pure force he drives his hips with, groaning with every thrust as he stares completely into your face as it scrunches in a pleasurable pain.

"S'too much! M-Mister vox It hurts!" You cry, reaching out to press your hands against his shoulders, clawing into his coat. You don't even care anymore, you want at least a small bit of comfort from these strong unforgiving thrusts. Vox chuckles at this, leaning down closer so he can capture your lips in a (forced) yet passionate kiss.

His long electric blue tongue immediately finds its way into your gob, passionately fornicating it against your own as his thrusts send you into a sort of floaty state. Vox maps the entirety of your mouth, tasting every crevice of you from your lips to the back of your throat. He thrusts almost ravenously like a dog, tip of his cock sometimes painfully pressing against your cervix.

Pulling away, Mister Vox looks Into your eyes, revelling in the way you claw at his back. You whimper and moan loudly, eyes fluttering closed as a tear falls down your cheek. He kisses it away, looking up at your closed eyes with a grin.

"Open your eyes, dove. Look at me while I fuck you." You cry out, opening your eyes for him so you can see him look at you with pleasure.

"Y-yes Mister- Ah! Vox.."

He chuckles, thrusting into you extremely hard. You can see the bulge of his cock in your stomach, poking against your skin in such a way you almost want to touch it.

"I'd fucking breed you if I could, fill your filthy cunt with all my little babies so then you can't even dream of leaving.. but I can imagine," Vox rambles, taking your cheek into his hand so he can look at you longingly- and almost affectionately. If it weren't for the position you're in you'd almost be enjoying this moment.

"Mister Vox!" You cry, back arching as your orgasm begins to prod at your stomach.

"Hm?" He asks, grunting as he thrusts into you.

"Can I cum? Please! Please please please.." You beg, legs quivering wildly. Vox chuckles, giving you an adoring look as you bite your lower lip.

"Awe look at you! Asking Mister Vox to cum and everything.." Vox begins, biting his lip as you sputter on a moan. "Of course you can, dove. Let go so I can fuck my cum into you.."

You scream his name when you cum, digging your nails so hard into his back you're sure his coat has tears in it.

You'd given up. Well and truly. You wouldn't admit it. But you've finally accepted it. You belong to Mister Vox. Forever and always.

Forever and Always.

Vox gives you one last thrust, emptying his cum into you with a moan from his own lips. Eyebrows furrowed in pleasure, Vox drags out his orgasm by serving you a few more small quick thrusts, making sure every last drop is inside of you.

But when he has, he doesn't pull out.

"Mister Vox.. pull out.." you whimper, wiggling your hips against him.

"Haha! As if. I said i'd fuck my cum into you, didn't I? I haven't done that yet.. okay?" He asks, stroking a hand through your hair.

"Yes Mister Vox."

#proship #senseichaos #antishippers dni #senseichaosdrabbles #proship fanfiction #hazbin hotel #lovely anon #senseichaosanons #💙 anon #vox #yandere vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #vox x reader #vox x reader smut #vox x reader angst #angst

[daysofyellowroses]

chilli

carmen berzatto x reader | 1.8k | 18+ minors dni | tw: language, little bit of smut, men being sassy

prompt was: Carmy would neverrr date a girl in the food industry. Like he needs a girl sooo far removed??? Bc when he comes home, he just wants to roughly fuck out his frustrations and then be with a little sweet angel that plays with his hair and mutters how pretty he is and how good he makes her feel. So what would he do if she showed up to his work by surprise with like a tea or coffee or something all giddy to see him and she got all nervous bc she’s never seen him so angry and brute before screeeaming at the chefs (idea being a “get the FUCK off my expo chef, NOW!!!” Type intense Sitch) and r/ was like “carm…deep breaths, it’s just food bear. Do you need to come home?” And that would just make his OCD spiiiiirallll out bc how can someone so deeply important to him not see that it was so more then just food (even though he’s just a lil drama queen abt his work!!!!) - as requested by @thecapricunt1616 thank you so much for these requests they are honestly a joy to write and i can only hope i do your ideas justice!

not necessarily important but i had nfr by lana on repeat while writing this, i feel like it fits the vibe 🌼

🐻

Of all the people in the world, you never really expected to be with some like Carmy. It wasn't that he wasn't your type, or didn't treat you well, because he was and he did, he was the most amazing partner you could ask for. He was just different to anyone you'd ever dated. In the few relationships you'd had in the past you found yourself growing frustrated, fed up with being treated like some doll that would break easily. 

Just because you were a little more girly and had a soft personality it didn't mean you were totally delicate, that you would fall apart at the slightest touch. You were more than a bow in your hair, than pink dresses and long eyelashes. After your last relationship consisted of you basically being a doll on your boyfriend's arm, you swore it wouldn't happen again. 

And it didn't, Carmy didn't treat you like a doll, like something to be put on display when it suited him. He saw past your exterior, wanted to know the real you underneath it all. Of course he told you that you were beautiful, complimented you and made you feel incredible, but he also teased you and asked about your opinions on things and adored you just as much in your baggy t-shirts and sweatpants as he did in your dresses and stockings. 

It was the best relationship you'd ever had, and you couldn't believe your luck that you had met him. The two of you just clicked, everything fell into place from the first moment and you had fallen into a very enjoyable routine.

Because you both had busy schedules, you set aside one day every week to have a proper date, it could be going out for dinner or a movie or just relaxing at one of your apartments. And on the other days, you always managed to find a window for some..stress relief. 

At least four times a week, sometimes five depending on how work had been, one of you would show up at the other’s place, arms immediately wrapping around each other, getting to the bedroom if you were lucky. 

On the date nights, it was all about romance. You would dress up in a cute outfit, take your time to get ready, Carm would bring you flowers and hold your hand across restaurant tables. You would talk about anything and everything, and you would always end the night in one of your beds, it was sweet and romantic and tender.

Then on the other nights..you both knew what you wanted. Most times you just threw a long coat over your underwear if you were going to Carm's, clothes just slowed you down. It was like a different side of him, a fiery passionate wild side you adored. His hand around your neck, whispering the most depraved things in your ear as he fucked you til you could barely see straight anymore. Afterwards you would lay on his chest and stroke his hair, tell him how good he made you feel, how much you cared about him.

It was a routine, it worked, and you loved it.

But sometimes routines are meant to be broken, just a little bit. 

You had a day off work, and after doing some housework you went into town for a little browse around. You weren't sure why the urge came over you, but something in you decided to go visit Carmy at work. You had occasionally gone to the Beef for lunch with friends, feeling proud and stupidly happy when Carm would personally deliver your food. 

After picking up two coffees, you made your way to the restaurant, smiling as you spotted Richie behind the counter. He gave you a wave, but he wasn't quite his usual self, you could sense it.

“Mind if I head back?” You asked, gesturing to the kitchen door. 

“Uh..no,” Richie nodded, not quite meeting your eyes. “Head on in.”

You hesitated for a brief moment before walking into the kitchen, your senses becoming flooded by the smells, bright lights, and mostly by the shouting, specially Carm and Syd snapping at each other. 

Tickets were flooding out of the printer, the whirring sound filling the air. 

“If you just let me handle it, I can do this,” Syd snapped, pointing to the printer. “I don't have time to stand here arguing with you.”

“This is your fault,” Carm snapped, pushing his hand through his hair. “Messing around with other shit when you're supposed to be focusing. Just..just get the fuck off my expo, let me handle this.”

“Oh it's your expo now?” Syd scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Don't stand there and act like I don't-”

She paused as she met your eyes, clearing her throat.

Carm followed her gaze, looking over his shoulder to you. You expected his expression to soften, for him to come over to you. 

But he didn't. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, your heart starting to hammer in your chest.

After a moment of silence, Carm finally sighed, shaking his head. 

“This isn't a good time.”

“It's okay,” You walked closer, setting the coffees down on the counter and gently touching his arm. He pulled it free from your touch and you felt your heart sink.

“Just..take a deep breath,” You smiled softly. “it's just food, bear. The world isn't ending. Do you want to come home?”

The look you got had you turning from nervous to angry. 

Just food,” Carm repeated, rubbing his jaw. “Just fucking food?”

He laughed, mocking and cruel. You felt the anger rising inside you, taking a deep breath.

“You know what, I can't deal with this right now,” Carm threw his hands up, resting them on top of his head. “You don't know what the fuck I have to deal with, and I don't have time for your..”

“My what?” You interjected, challenging him. He didn't finish his sentence and you looked over to Syd. “Do me a favor,” You gestured to the coffee on the counter. “Pour that over his fucking head.”

You turned and walked away, hearing raised voices behind you, clamoring together. You shut your eyes for a moment, refusing to cry. Leaving the restaurant, the air felt cold and sharp on your skin, a determination to get as far away as possible hitting you.

You refused to look at your phone for the rest of the day, shutting it into your nightstand. By the time the lights of the city were lighting up the night sky, you didn't feel any less angry.

When you heard the knock on your door you told yourself not to answer, to let him wait. But there were things you needed to say, things you needed him to know.

Opening the door slowly, you held your hand up before Carmy could speak, taking a deep breath.

“I'm going to speak,” You told him, standing aside. “You're going to listen to me. Get in.”

He nodded, heading inside and holding his hand on his jacket zipper, looking at you.

You closed the door and looked back at him, folding your arms.

“Keep it on, I'll be brief.”

He moved his hand, biting his lip softly as he looked at you. You pushed aside the part of you that wanted to hug him like always, focusing on what you needed to say.

“First of all,” You began, taking a breath. “How..how fucking dare you speak to me the way that you did? How dare you speak to Syd that way, who the fuck do you think you are?”

You could tell he wanted to respond, holding your hand up.

“You think I don't understand stress? That I don't understand how important your job is to you? You can be stressed, you can be angry, but you are not allowed to speak to me that way ever again, I swear to god. Do you have any idea how it felt to stand there and be spoken to like that? Like I'm some embarrassment to you? Nobody treats me that way, you hear me? Fucking nobody.”

You took a breath, trying to calm yourself down, frowning as Carm ran his hand over his mouth, a slight smile on his face.

“Oh I'm sorry, is this a joke to you?” You snapped, resting your hands on your hips. “because I don't think it's very funny.”

“It's not a joke,” Carmy murmured softly, stepping closer to you and holding his hands up. “Not at all. I can't apologize enough for what I did, I swear to you it won't ever, ever happen again. It's just..”

“Just what?” You snapped, your heart pounding. 

“You're..you're really fucking hot when you're angry.”

You frowned at the comment before your expression softened a little, rolling your eyes.

“You are not allowed to be turned on right now. I'm too mad at you.”

“And it's hot,” Carm leaned in to whisper in your ear and you forced yourself not to be affected.

“Stop it,” You sighed, lightly swatting his shoulder. “I'm not in the mood.”

Carm pulled back, his hands touching your cheeks. 

“You deserve the world,” He sighed softly.  “And I don't deserve you, but I can't imagine my life without you. You're everything to me, I hate myself for hurting you, more than you could know. I don't expect you to forgive me, but if you do then I promise to spend every second making it up to you.”

“Every second?” You repeated, moving your hand to his arm, a small smile on your face. “you better get started then.”

“As you wish.” He grinned, giving you a kiss and letting you guide him towards your bedroom.

#the bear #the bear 🐻 #the bear fic #the bear fics #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x you #ask #request #these are honestly so fun to write