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storiesofsvu · 2 years

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Sugar Mommy Ch 10

Warnings: language, some lawyerly chaos.

The following four and a half months seemed to simply race by faster than anyone had expected. You sat for the bar in early March followed by a torturous waiting period. Rita reassured you that she knew you did spectacularly, but your anxiety was still spiked over the entire thing. You felt that you’d done well, and you knew as long as you passed you had a guaranteed job lined up, you were just hoping you’d live up to your own expectations.

You’d been at your own desk all through the morning, working through piles of paperwork, emails and occasionally on the phone, which, to Rita, was rather strange. You were almost always in her office with her, sitting at one of the tables while you shot ideas back and fourth. Though she knew you’d been a bit stressed recently, so she wasn’t going to push it, making a mental note to pick you up something nice on the way home.

Shortly before lunch, you finally came into her office, a stack of papers in your hand. She could see the post it’s stuck to a variety of them, scribbles of blue ink between the printed words as you placed the pile down onto her desk. She cocked a brow at you,

“And these are…?”

“Shortlist of resumes for your new assistant.” You smiled warmly at her, “I weeded out all the incompetent ones, don’t worry.” Rita laughed lightly,

“Thank you. This better be because you passed the bar?”

“Mmm…no, Barba gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse.” Your eyes gleamed as you grinned across at her.

“Oh please.” She scoffed, “we both know the only place you’re going is that office across the hall.” She pushed her chair back from her desk, nodding her head, “c’mere.” You moved around the desk, giggling softly as she tugged you down into her lap. “So, what was the verdict?”

“Top five.” You wrapped your arms around her neck, “and I believe I have you to thank for that.”

“Mmm.” Rita kissed you gently, “I knew you could do it darling. And you have yourself to thank for it, all that hard work and dedication.”

“You still helped.” You replied, nuzzling against her nose before kissing her gently, humming against her in satisfaction. “Don’t know what you’re going to do now, you’ll be lost without me as your assistant.”

“I’ll still have you as my love,” she kissed you again, “and that’s all I need.” She nudged you out of her lap gently to stand, “I believe this deserves a celebratory lunch, how do you feel about Scarpetta?”

“Mmm! Their ravioli is decadent, you sure we have time for that?” Rita laughed lightly before kissing your cheek,

“We’ll make it a working lunch. Find you your own assistant, figure out your client list, mine’s gotten too big, I’m sure I can shave it down for you.”

“Are you sure? Won’t they not want a first year attorney handling their cases?”

“Darling, you’re hardly some two bit legal aide, and you come highly recommended. Besides, Shakir loved you, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a switch up. Come on.” She extended her hand out to you, nodding her head toward the door, “your beloved ravioli awaits.” You playfully rolled your eyes, a grin on your cheeks as you accepted her hand, interlacing your fingers with hers.

Truthfully, Rita’s client list had gotten a little bit out of hand recently, especially considering she’d had you working as her assistant, the amount of work she had to do per case was substantially lower than normal. She knew whoever ended up replacing you was in no way going to be able to keep up to your standards (you reminded her to at least try to play nice or she’d end up with another new one).

The first time you showed up at the 1-6 for a client Barba was quick to quip that you couldn’t go in without Rita, to which you huffed a laugh and reminded him that this was your client, joking about how ‘this was going to be fun.’ He knew in that moment by the glint in your eye that he was not going to enjoy going up against you. And he was completely right as you absolutely eviscerated him, tearing his case to shreds even better than he would’ve expected from Rita. The jury was back in under fifteen minutes and it was safe to say you’d earned a great deal of respect from him that day. (And a great deal of praise and gifting from Rita that night).

When the inevitable time of going up against Casey came around, you held up on your promise to not go easy, though the pre trial teasing was a lot more playful and friendly. She was surprised when you didn’t accept the deal she offered, preferring to take it to trial and risk losing, she had to admit, your years working with Rita meant that you knew how to be ballsy. Rita had the spare time that week to be in the courtroom to watch you completely destroy Casey, amused at the fiery dynamic between the two of you and the fact that Donnelly was the Judge on the case. When the jury came back in your favour, she couldn’t help but smirk, proud of not only how far you’d come, but how well you had done. She waited as the courtroom cleared out, watching your client thanking you before he left. She didn’t miss the snails pace that you and Casey were both organizing your things, eager for a private moment away from prying eyes.

“We’re still friends, right?” You teased to the redhead as the older women crossed the room to you.

“Course.” She roped an arm around you in a half hug, kissing your cheek before turning to Rita, “you really trained her up well.”

“Oh she’s always had it in her.” Rita replied, softly kissing you, “wonderful job darling.”

“Thank you.”

“How do we feel about Forlini’s?” Liz asked, “after that performance I think Y/N deserves a win celebration.”

“Okay…normally I would be offended at that.” Casey shot back, feigning offence. Liz simply laughed in response, kissing her cheek,

“I’ll meet you over there, I’ve got a couple things I need to wrap up. Though..defence is paying today.” She was quick to vanish from the room as Casey turned back to you.

“You do deserve it, I know you’re badass and all but I thought I had that in the bag.”

“I honestly just lucked out with the jury, ‘cause he definitely killed three people.” Rita’s hand slapped into your arm harder than she’d intended.

“Okay! Adding to the list of things we’re not supposed to say out loud!”

“What?” You turned to her, “I waited ‘til Donnelly left. Besides, double jeapordy applies, he can’t be retried! He fucks up again though, and that’s gonna be your win.” You shot a grin to Casey. “Shall we?” Your head nodded toward the door and the three of you made your way out of the room. Rita’s hand briefly squeezed yours before dropping it as you made your way past the press, though she linked your finger again once you were down the street closer to the restaurant.

Over that lunch, Memorial Day weekend had come up, Liz asking if you and Rita had plans to head out to the Hamptons. You hadn’t really thought about it at that point, but were more than willing to join her and Casey for an extending weekend lounging ocean side, attending a few celebrations at the yacht club.

Which is what brought you to that Saturday evening.

You’d spent the afternoon down at the beach, you and Casey splashing through the waves (Rita cursing herself for being roped into letting you get the emerald bikini you were wearing) before lounging in the sun, ever happy you’d snuck down some rose in chilled tumblers.

After a brief return to your own houses for showers and a quick change of clothes, you met up at Liz’s again for pre dinner drinks before her and Rita took a run down to Cappelletti to get a takeout order for the four of you. What they most certainly hadn’t expected was to return in through the back door into the kitchen to see you and Casey, in a huge fit of giggles while you were dancing like fools in the living room. Your cheeks were flushed and barely able to control your laughter, the glimmer of tears from laughing too hard evident in both your eyes, you were both clearly drunk.

“What on earth are you two doing?” Rita’s voice broke through your distraction, not even realizing they’d returned to the house.

“Making Tik Toks!” You both replied.

“What the fuck is a Tik Tok?” Liz’s confusement resulted in another bout of giggles from the two of you.

“Where the fuck did you get a ring light from?” Rita asked.

“The girl next door!” Casey snorted, “we were trying to make them in the backyard but she said this would work better!”

“You mean the thirteen year old!? Your socializing with literal children now?” Liz countered.

“She was really sweet!” You cut in.

“Okay,” Rita shook her head, “but how did you even manage to get so drunk this quickly? We were gone less than an hour!”

“Beerio Kart!” You gleefully replied

“You’ve lost me once again.” Liz’s eyes glanced between the two of you.

“Mario Kart!” You explained, “but..you hafta finish your drink before the end of the race..but..but you can’t drink while you drive, cause that…is..is against the law.”

“You’ve gotta pull over and…chug your drink, or… do all three laps then chug. And there’s…three races per game.” Casey finished off. Liz picked up the empty bottle of wine on the counter, double checking the label before she spoke.

“And I suppose you did this with the 30% wine after not eating since brunch.” The two of you nodded before collapsing into another fit of giggles, distracted with each other, Rita turned to Liz.

“Is Casey this chaotic when it’s just you?”

“I watched these two tear each other apart in my courtroom three days ago….what the fuck happened?”

“We can’t leave them unsupervised anymore…” Liz laughed at that, which caught your attention again, your eyes landing on the take out bags this time.

“Ooo! Did you get the mozza sticks?!” You practically bounded toward the kitchen.

“Ah.” Liz halted you, “Casey, take that ring light back next door and then we’ll get some food into you dorks.”

The redhead rolled her eyes, but did as told, unplugging the light before teetering slightly out the front door. You turned to Rita, a hand grasping at hers gently,

“You think were dorks?” You pouted, she laughed lightly.

“Yes.” She kissed your nose, “but you’re our dorks.”

“Good.” You smiled brightly, kissing her gently as your arms wrapped around her. You spent a moment snuggled into her side, ever so thankful to be in her arms so freely, humming as her lips hit your head.

As the evening progressed, you and Casey managed to sober up with a little bit of time and some carb loading. Deciding to be somewhat responsible over dinner Casey and you stuck with water, letting the other two women catch up a little bit while you calmed down. You did manage to convince them into at least one round of beerio kart after dinner before you and Rita bid them good night.

The walk home was pleasantly warm, a small firework display going off above you from down at the beach. Your hands linked together while your other hand snuck into Rita’s elbow, kissing her cheek softly before snuggling against her shoulder. You thanked her for being so wonderful, and for another incredible weekend away from the city. She simply reminded you that you deserved it, and that you’d warranted it after succeeding so much in such short time this year.

Upon getting home you both changed into pyjamas, little soft moments of contact and love exchanged as you made sure everything was properly in place for the next day before returning downstairs for a nightcap on the porch, watching the rest of the fireworks going off. Rita sent you out with a soft blanket while she poured the drinks, joining you out there with something else in her hand as she settled next to you. You thanked her for the drink, kissing her cheek before taking a sip and placing it on the small table. She snuggled up against you under the blanket, kissing you deeply before she spoke.

“Something came for you today.” She lifted the box between you, you couldn’t help but smile at her, adoration heavy in your eyes.

“You didn’t have to.”

“On the contrary…I really did.”

You gave her hand a squeeze as you took the box from her, plucking the lid from it, revealing the necklace inside. Much like the one you’d gifted her for her birthday, it was a small circle with numbers engraved, and a small symbol.

“What’re the coordinates?” You asked, knowing they weren’t her apartment.

“This house.”

“You’re adorable.” You smiled, lifting the jewelry out of the box, your head tilting as your fingers traced over the gem, “an infinity symbol?”

“Infinity means forever.” She replied, her voice so soft you could barely hear it above the ocean, “and it was over Christmas, at this house that I knew I wanted to spend forever with you.”

“Rita…” you practically melted, happy tears springing into your eyes, “really?”

“Of course darling.” Her hand stroked at your cheek, “you already know you mean the world to me. I wouldn’t have it any either way.”

“Neither would I.” You surged against her, meeting her lips in an incredibly happy kiss, a laugh escaping your lips as you reluctantly pulled away, “put it on for me?” You eagerly asked, handing her the necklace while you turned your back to her for easier access.

“God I love you.” She murmured, kissing you again, lips feather light as they met yours.

“I love you too.” You pecked her lips again before wrapping your body against hers, snuggling as deep as you could.

You both meant it, curled against each other watching fireworks while the ocean softly crashed against the sand was the most perfect way to enjoy each other. Everything had finally fallen into place, but you would never forget those moments at the Hamptons house, the glorious Christmas you’d spent together, snuggled up by the fire, and that evening. The night that Rita gifted you something you would never give up in a million years, the offer to spend the rest of your life at her side. There was absolutely nothing that made you happier, nothing that you loved more, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

#rita calhoun #rita calhoun x reader #law and order svu #sugar mommy #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit

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stormhearty · 4 months

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Let's see, let's see. What would writing be without a distraction, right? Hahaha. It usually happens that we get stuck in a fanfic, it does :) maybe it's time to give a little time to the one that's making you question yourself? I don't know, take a breather and come back to see if you've come up with a concept? In fact, you're questioning yourself because maybe it's not the way you want it to be, you're afraid it won't turn out the way the anon asked or it's just an author's insecurity? (we usually always feel insecure, lmao). I ask a lot of questions, my sincere apologies😳

Tiktok influences us a lot. I have a huge list of books to read and it tends to grow, since with each scroll, I'm seduced into adding even more books😅

There's nothing better than getting back to reading after a while of not being able to touch a book. "Especially fantasy novels?" That gives me the vibe that you didn't used to read this kind of genre. Ahn, I've never heard of this book by Dan Brown, maybe I'll check it out later to find out more. Which duologies? If I may, I have a duology that's my favorite… You've heard of "six of crows" it doesn't focus on romance, there's practically no romance, let's start there (I realized that I love fantasies with crumbs of romance or almost nonexistent, hahaha) this duology has a place in my heart💘

It's a book that divides many opinions, even here in my country. Have you heard of "All Your Imperfections" by Colleen Hoover? That's the book in question. To be honest, my reaction was more motivated by the fact that pre-established concepts before I even finished it went against what I realized at the end. I don't know what to think… I'm on the fence and all I know is that I like it enough to wonder why I don't like it, and I don't like it enough to wonder why I like it, lmao.

I might lean into re-writing one of them again from the top. The other one, I'm seeing if I can start again and I might just continue the way it is going - it's with the reader healing so, I'm happy about it for now. And it's a combination of all of those, in all honesty. I want to fulfill the request to the best of my ability and of course, author's insecurities. This is the first time, in a long time, I have written fanfiction. And I'm still reading the books, so it's always so difficult to ensure that the characters are still in character.

I'm just now playing Sims 4 as a breather and watching old Among Us videos LMAO. And don't be sorry! I love it!

You speak the truth. I try to step away from TikTok to prevent that from happening. Hahha.

I am mostly a murder/mystery type of girl when it comes to books, movies, and dramas. I used to read, of course, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Hunger Games, etc. I used to read fantasy romances, but that was a long time ago. As an adult in my 30s, I tend to stay away (because I always thought it was very... predictable). And so picking up ACOTAR was a big thing for me. And I really don't regret it. I loved the story and the world building.

Dan Brown's is a murder/mystery novelist. Some of his books became movies that featured Tom Hanks! I highly recommend them! I have "One Dark Window" & "Two Twisted Crowns" by Racgek Gukkubg and "Divine Rivals" & "Ruthelss Vows" by Rebecca Ross as the two duologies on my shelf right now that I will read next after ACOTAR. I have heard of "Six of Crows"! I might look into it!

I've heard of Colleen Hoover, but never really heard of her books. But I also heard of the rumors (?) that surrounded her? I don't know the full story but does the matter revolve around the rumors surrounding her or is it just the story plot itself?

#( .nikki ramblings )#( .asks )#( .anon )

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thegoodceai · 4 months

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Five players wow! Thats a lot to convert to the "Devil's Game" I love that, congrats! From the handful of games I've gotten to play, I've flipped back and forth between using content that I've made for Stories and using the things that happened to place in the Stories; have you gotten to flesh out more of your fantasy adventure through dnd or vice versa?

Yesss, IF so goood. I'm definitely gonna check out those, I've had Project Hadea cross my dash a couple of times but as always know Of things not what they're about, but if u like em I definitely gotta check em out ^-^. The Passenger was a surprise hit for me, I personally suck at replaying for multiple endings/routes but that one I definitely wanna.

Ayyo! Nice! Even if nothings out yet, I still know it takes a lot of effort and ye is hard to even work up the confidence to put it out there, so I'm proud of you! I can't wait! If nothing else you'll have at least one fan, and it's always good even if you're just making it for yourself <3. Woulddd/have you considered making it an IF or do you have a more 'linear' story in mind?

Oooo nioce! I've saved scummed, and crash and stuck in sidestep is Rough, omg the good/bad angst lol. I've played twice but keep being 'too bad' for folks to want to bust sidestep out lul. I loveee reluctant villains, they're so good. I'm a big fan of playing sidestep as 'fated' but reluctant, like feels they can't stop but wants someone (cough ortega) to stop them. I've tiptoed into the fully evil sidestep, it's veryyyy rough but if you love angst I highly recommend, oh jeez just the reactions.

I feel u lol. We tend to name pets along with food names, but the hilarity of a Cat named like Kevin is just too great. Clementine is a beautiful name and a dumb orange cat would be grateful to have it lol.

Ahh fair enough. It sounds like it was a good series for the time, at the very least a good stepping stone and formative! I'm interested to see how much that might be reflected in your own writing. At the very least, thank you for sharing how important it is/was to you <3 :))).

Again thank yew for answering my questions and replying to all my paragraphs with paragraphs lol

asdfaf yeah, i love my friends to death but they are Chaotic players. it's been a journey. if nothing else, i've learned quite a bit of improv, and fleshing out our homebrew setting helped me organize my writing quite a bit (especially my outlines). for the most part, i try to keep stuff separate tho, even if sometimes some things bleed over (like, NPC traits, or city structures or stuff like that), but the stories are completely different in both the general setting, and the vibes.

Project Hadea just updated and i read it last night and. god. so good. definitely check it out.

it started out as a linear story, and mostly for fun, but the more i added to it, the more other possible outcomes and scenarios started to make themselves known and. i am kinda considering making it into IF format. idk yet, i am waiting to have it more fleshed out (like, actually written, not just outlines and bulletpoints and scenes that aren't yet tied to each other)

aaaah the good angst. i will definitely play an evil route with sidestep. hopefully soon, i started replaying Baldur's Gate again and the Hyperfixation is. very strong.

unfortunately naming pets with human names seems to start to be a tradition with my friends. we already have a cat in the group named Mike (he truly is the definition of no thoughts, head empty. i love my furry nephew so much). some other friends recently rescued a stray kitty and named her Maia (which we all know several people with that name). the other pets that are relatively close to the group are either named after food, or have very literal cat and dog names (my aunt got a cat and she named him Motan. which is just "male cat" in romanian. truly like naming your cat Cat)

thank u for being so indulging lol <3 it's been fun to rant with someone on this hellsite again 🖤🖤🖤

#this took forever to reply to but alas i am at work now and doing nothing so at least there's that lol #ask #personal #phantom-tiger #🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

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lucelinguist · 2 years

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Hi, I love your blog! Do you have any advice on moving to France? I'm hoping to move next year<3

Thanks for the love!! 💜

Yes, I have lots of advice! I am going to assume you are going to be going as a student, but if not I'll include some more general things. There will be too much to write in one post but if you have any specific questions do feel free to send me an ask.

If you aren't offered CROUS accommodation or you aren't a student, rent through an agency or private company to avoid scams! I have found rental scams to be really prevalent in France and you have to be really careful.

If you don't have a french guarantor, sign up for VISALE as most people require to have a french guarantor if you are renting.

If you're a student, sign up for CAF asap! This is basically money from the government to supplement your rent. They get a lot of applications at the start of the academic year so it can take a couple months to receive your money.

Doctolib app will enable you to book doctors appointments in your area. You can find specialists, book covid tests, find people who speak your native language, and even book online appointments. I know health is a really scary thing when you're abroad, especially booking doctor's appointments, and this application saved me from a lot of anxiety.

French pharmacies are great! They usually have something available for most minor problems you may have and the medicine is actually quite affordable.

If you're in a city with a travel subscription card, BUY ONE! It will save you so much money.

Download the metro app for your city (if it has one). It is much more sufficient than google maps and will show you the best mode of public transport to take.

Travel around France or even the rest of Europe. It's so cheap to travel around and see new places and a great experience.

If you receive paperwork, fill it out as soon as you receive it. French bureaucracy is a mess! So the less time you take to get things done the quicker of a process it will be for you.

Keep passport photos of yourself in your wallet/purse!!! A lot of paperwork will require you to give them a photo of you.

Save copies of your important documents on all your devices. You're going to need a lot of different forms for different services. Like I said... French bureaucracy...

Use leboncoin to buy secondhand items for when you first move in and even to sell your unwanted items when you move out. This is a great platform to use and really helped me when I moved out of my apartment as I couldn't take certain household items on the plane for me. It also meant I could earn a bit of cash.

Download the Covid app for France. You are going to need to show proof of vaccination for most things you want to do in France. You'll also be required to have evidence of having a booster jab soon.

In terms of speaking French:

French people speak quite fast so don't be afraid to ask them to repeat themselves or slow down

Try to speak the language and they will appreciate the effort. I wouldn't feel offended if they switch to English either as they just want to make you feel more comfortable,

Also if you get stuck- feel no shame in using a translator to try and communicate. What matters most is that you try your best to learn the language and you will certainly find yourself improving very quickly.

There are Facebook groups or even the app meetup designed to help you meet people for language exchange so I would highly recommend that. Check out your university services to see if they offer a language exchange program, my university's program was called MINERVE.

Like I said, I am sorry if this post is too geared at students. But if you have any questions about living in France or being a student in France, please put a question in my ask box (anon is okay too)! I would love to help.

#studyblr #studyspo #studying #study motivation #langblr #french #university #stationery #study notes #living in france #life in france #Erasmus #study abroad #askluce

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suchalonelysunflower · 3 years

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You Said Forever (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Requested: Yes!

Summary: Based on the song “Driver’s License” by Olivia Rodrigo. You did everything you could to get over him, you talked to friends, went on long drives and even wrote him a song. Why cant you just let him go?

Warnings: Angst. Language. Mentions of alcohol. Some grammar mistakes? (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 6.7 k

Author’s Note: I’m so excited someone requested this! I highly recommend listening to the song before you read, references are in the text and dialogs. Please remember that Reblogs, Coments, Feedback and Likes are more than welcome and encouraged! You don’t know how much they help me 💕 Hope you like it and Happy reading 🦋

Fic of the week // My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

@rime-warrior : Hey love! Has anyone requested an imagine for Calum based on the song “Drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo yet? I think you’re the only one who would be able to do it any justice 😭💕

“I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

Can't drive past the places we used to go to

'Cause I still fucking love you, babe”

You could hear the doorbell ring over the thunderous storm raging outside. It was late, probably closer to midnight than you imagined. Who could possibly be outside right now? especially in this kind of weather?

After four consecutive rings, you decided to get up from your spot on the bed and walk up to the door. It must be something very important for someone to startle you that way.

Once you got closer to the door you could also distinguish some strong bangs coming from the other side accompanied by the endless ringing “Okay, okay! I’m coming!” You called, but whoever was standing opposite to you mustn’t have heard you as they continued to disrupt the peace of a stormy night.

A shiver ran down your spine before you could reach the doorknob, almost like the ghost of a feeling, a warning for you not to open the door. Despite your common sense, you decided to open the door, already being too late to go back.

“Calum?”

He was standing in front of you, completely drenched from head to toes. His breathing was uneven, almost like he ran all the way over here, but his eyes were set on yours, unmoving as you both tried to take each other in.

“Calum-what is?-” Your words got stuck in your mouth as he pushed himself forward, grabbing your face delicately as he clashed his lips with yours.

You felt yourself melt into the kiss, making it everything you ever wished for. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss as you brought him closer to you. He was here, he was finally here with you. It all feels like a dream.

Your alarm clock marked 6 AM when you jumped from your dreams into reality. You should’ve known, everything was too good to be true.

You brought one hand to your face, trying to wipe away the tiredness of your eyes, but you found your cheeks were humid due to tears you didn’t even know you shed through the night, damping your pillow sheets once again.

It was always the same dream: Calum coming back to you. Night after night your mind drifted to another reality where you’d meet again, sometimes it was at a concert, other at the local café of your neighborhood that you used to love so much, but tonight was the first night where he appeared at your house. Which was funny considering that he hasn’t stepped foot in this place for almost a year.

You pushed your thoughts away as you tried to go back to sleep. And you did try, but the tossing and turning made you restless, you cursed your mind as the only thing you could see when you closed your eyes was Calum, standing at your door and asking for a kind of forgiveness you weren’t sure you could give. Although, who were you kidding?

Checking the clock once again you realized it was 20 past 6, still too early to go back to real life, but not too early to start and try to live a little.

Pushing yourself off the bed, you grabbed a big hoodie and some pair of sweatpants before putting on your running shoes and hopping into the bathroom to brush your teeth and clean your face before grabbing your keys and getting out of the house.

You sat on the driver’s seat, just like you did a thousand times, taking a big breath before starting the engine.

“You do know you have a perfectly good car in your driveway, right?”

You smiled at him and greeted him with a hug and a kiss as you climbed into the passenger's seat.

It was your usual morning routine. Ever since you met and he found out you lived nearby the studio he always volunteered to carpool with you. Since then, your mornings were filled with hugs, good coffee and stolen kisses you gave each other as the road to the studio became longer and longer thanks to all the detours you took.

“Hello, Calum. I’m very good, thank you for asking, how are you?”

Calum rolled his eyes and gave you a little peck on your lips “I would’ve been on time if I hadn’t had to pick your ass from the other side of town”

You lightly punched him in the arm “You know you love me” He smiled.

“That I do, darling. But I would love you more if you drove us from time to time”

“You know I don’t have a car!” Calum turned to you and pointed to the classic mustang sitting in front of your house, raising his eyebrows as if to ask if you were stupid “That’s my dad’s car!”

“That he kindly gave to you when he helped you move to LA so you could pursue your dream of becoming the next new sensation of music,” He said mocking a dreamy voice to try imitating you “He said it was yours, so it's yours! And honestly, it’s a pretty cool car if you ask me. A real chick magnet”

You mocked a gag at his old reference of movies from the 50’s “Sexist much?” You both laughed as he started the car and started driving “Anyways, he only gave me the car because mom was threatening to sell it on eBay if he didn’t get rid of it soon enough, so he could still come and get it whenever he wants to” You shrugged.

Calum started sniffing the air, “What?” You asked, sniffing as well in case there was something wrong.

“Do you smell that?” He asked with a concerned face.

“Smell what?”

He leaned closer to you and sniffed harder before whispering “The bullshit”

You scoffed and pushed him back “Haha very funny”

You waited until he stopped laughing, you never told him the truth, well two truths actually.

One: That you enjoyed the drives you had with him, it was a special time for the two of you to be yourselves without anyone to judge. You would laugh, sing, talk for hours as you sat in traffic under the city lights. It was the little moments that matter for the two of you, these were your little moments and you didn’t want to give them up just yet.

It was not easy being in a “relationship” that no one knew about, not even his bandmates, although you knew they were suspecting something. All the sneaking away while amid a recording session, hanging out in each other’s rooms, how adamant he was to carpool with you every day, even when he didn’t need to go to the studio… It was an easy tell, but it was also your private life.

You told yourself that it was for the best, that you shouldn’t mix work and personal life, especially when your personal life included Calum. He was adamant to keep whatever you had out of the public eye “What we have is good” He said, “Why ruin it with labels?” And you agreed, knowing that making everything official could just mess everything up. Calum was your best friend, after all, you would be damn if you lose him.

And for the second truth:

“I don’t know how to drive”

Just in time, the traffic light turned red. Calum turned to you in disbelief “Bluff” You shook your head, not looking at him just yet “Bluff! That can’t be right! Y/N how old are you?”

You shrugged again “I never needed to! I always enjoyed walking plus,” You said nudging your arm on Calum’s “I have the best driver right here!” You pecked his cheek with a kiss and saw how quickly they blushed, making you celebrate this tiny victory inside your head. You loved making him blush, it gave you some kind of security that he felt the same way.

Calum stared at you for a moment too long, making you self-conscious under his eyes. You could tell the gears were running inside his head “What if I teach you how to drive?”

You chuckled “Now I call your bluff”

“I’m serious!” He said, not taking his eyes from you “We have time before the tour starts, and that way you could drive us somewhere for once! You know? Picking me out and going on a date?”

Your eyes were set on him with an alarming tone, a what now? Was he serious? “You would do that for me?” You asked shyly, not wanting to fall into another of his pranks, but he seemed serious enough.

“Of course!” He said with a chuckle that accentuated all his dimples “Let’s get you your driver’s license, Y/N!”

Calum grabbed your hand and intertwined it with his, shaking it as a victory celebration and then placing a kiss on your knuckles. You laughed and reminded him where you were “Eyes on the road, Hood” even though the light was still red, you would rather him not noticing the red that tinted your cheeks and the loud beating of your heart.

You saw how the sun was starting to illuminate the coast as you drove by. Everything was so quiet this early in the morning and you were thankful, you needed this quiet so you could be alone with your thoughts once again. And, just like every day, that just meant you were thinking of Calum.

Could you blame him? Possibly, your friends said you should. But could you live with yourself knowing that you are holding a grudge towards someone who is probably unaware of it? Not in the slightest.

You were never official, not to the public at least, but in your heart, you knew he was the only one who could make you feel like this. He was the only one capable of making you laugh as hard as you did, cry the way that you did, and enjoy yourself to the fullest. You were your best when you were with him and now… How are you now?

Would he care?

You knew he loved you, he said so himself. The only thing you didn’t know was in what way. Did he love you like a lover? or just like a friend who he’d get to kiss and make love to from time to time?

The lump in your throat became stronger as you remember the last moments you had with him and all the promises he couldn’t keep. You tried to distract yourself, crying behind the wheel could be dangerous and you weren’t going to risk your life for him, not yet at least.

You turned on the radio in hopes that it would call your mind, at this point even the commercials would make you feel better if they made you think about anything but him.

“And now, Laurie. We have the hottest single of the year!” Said the radio host with the most cheerful tone a person could mutter this early “This up-and-coming artist debuted this single almost a month ago and it is still top of the charts in almost 34 countries all over the world!”

Now the lump in your throat came back but this time with a knot on your stomach as well. The first time you heard the song play on the radio you felt excited, after all this is why you came to LA in the first place. Yet the feeling became bittersweet in no time.

“My girls, boys, and non-binary folks; if you are in your car right now get ready to sing this at the top of your lungs with all the feelings you could muster and send a fuck you to your ex. This is ‘Driver’s License’ by Y/N L/N”

“I got my driver’s license last week, just like we always -”

You turned off the music and kept driving in silence.

You knew it was a bad idea to release the song you wrote about him. Maybe it was a petty move on your part, but… didn’t you have the right to be petty this time?

Either way is not like people would realize it was about him. It was your little secret, yours and Calum’s if he ever heard it, although you believe that if he did then he would’ve said something to you by now. Yet his silence was similar to the one in your car; deafening and heartbreaking.

“I don’t know Calum,” You said as you stared at your car parked in front of you “Is it safe to do it here?”

Calum was leaning on top of the hood, rolling his eyes at your indecision “Would you rather do it on the PCA?” You shot your eyes at him with a deathly glare, he just chuckled “I promise is okay, this parking lot is big enough and there are no cars left that you could accidentally hit”

You were both standing in the middle of the studio’s parking lot late at night. Calum insisted that this was the day you learned how to drive, so he spent the night at your place and today he drove you in your car, that way there would be no excuses left for you not to do it.

However, you were still hesitant. This was technically your father’s car, his other baby, and if you ever crash it you wouldn't know what you’ll do. Calum noticed your doubt and took a step closer to you, grabbing your hand in his to give you some sort of encouragement.

“Look, babe. It’s okay if you don’t want to do it. I won’t pressure you” He said softly “I just thought this could be fun for the both of us” He smiled “Fun and educational for that matter. But if you’re not ready then we can go home and-”

“I want to do it, Cal,” You said, “I just- I don’t know where to even begin!”

He chuckled and placed a kiss on your forehead, making all the butterflies in your stomach take flight.

“Tell you what,” Calum said confidently “You get behind the wheel and I’ll put us some inspirational music”

He walked back to the car to connect his phone to the speakers “You better put my song first!” You called after him as you walked towards the driver’s seat.

Calum laughed “God, I should’ve never told you that! Now your ego’s off the damn roof!” Soon enough he sat on the passenger’s seat next to you and buckled up.

“Not my fault that you think of me so often you want to put it into song” You teased, leaning in for a kiss that Calum was happy to oblige.

“Yes,” He said mid-kiss “It is completly your fault” Next thing you know ‘Kill My Time’ was playing on the radio, but Calum was not letting go of you just yet.

You wished this moment last forever, you wished every moment with Calum would last forever, but you both needed to breathe at some point “I wish I could kiss you all day long, I swear I could die on your lips and die happy” You said as you pressed your forehead to his, smiling like a fool in love.

“Soon, love,” Calum said as he crashed his lips against yours “Just wait until tour is over and then we’ll have forever to do just that”

You grinned at his words, a few days ago he promised to make your relationship publicly official once he came back from tour, that way you’ll have more time together as a fairly new couple. If he was willing to take that step, then you were more than ready to follow along. You knew you’d give everything for him if you had to and you still won’t regret it. You love him, and that was enough for you.

“Think I’m ready to start,” You said once you pulled away from him for the last time.

Calum nodded and patted his hand on your thigh “Okay, first you have to turn on the engine. Good, then you check all your mirrors and make sure your gear shift is on position-”

“My what?” You asked.

“Your gear shift, you know? The stick in-”

“Oh, you mean the PRNDL? You said, trying your hardest to stay serious, but failing to do so once you saw Calum’s face.

“You couldn't go one day without your references now, could you?” He said in amusing disbelief that had you both laughing.

The lesson was fairly simple, it just consisted of going forwards and on reverse a few times and practicing some turns in circles around the parking lot, and you were proud to say you were getting the hang of it pretty quickly. Calum turned out to be a great instructor with the patience of a god, he never got mad at you or showed that he was scared - even though it was pretty clear that he was, especially when you turned too far and almost hit a lamp post - and you appreciate him for that.

It was almost 2 AM when you decided to call it quits for the day and start back tomorrow. Calum was now behind the wheel driving you to your house so he could pick up his car and drive home.

“Cal?” You said once he parked in your driveway.

“Yes, love?”

“I’m really happy with you” You shyly admitted.

Calum’s heart beamed with love as he pulled you closer for a goodnight kiss “And I’m really happy with you”

You kissed him one more time before jumping out of the car “See you tomorrow!” He called before you watched him drive away.

The sound of a horn woke you up from your daydream memory. You didn’t know the light had just turned green until the car behind you started pounding their button and cursing at you to move.

You watched the white car from the rearview mirror as you drove away, it looked like his, all the white cars did, but you knew he couldn’t be here just yet, not until the tour was done.

A sinking feeling of hopelessness filled your inner thoughts once again. The promises he made faded like the wind in the summer once he stepped on that plane and decided that you were something he had to leave behind. It would’ve been good to know beforehand, that way you wouldn’t have wasted a year by the phone, hoping it would ring and that he’d be on the other line.

You glanced at the car’s clock one more time, it’s already too late to do anything, you’ve been driving around without a destination for hours when it only felt like minutes. Time is something you learn how to lose when you’re alone, minutes become meaningless once you realize there is no one there to share them with you, but it’s late and it was time to head home. You let out a sigh at the realization that your drive-through therapy didn’t work this time.

Deciding to take the long way home, you started to drive through the lesser-known streets of LA, hoping that you’d get lost somewhere and not knowing if anyone would care.

The dreams of running away came flashing down, more of an idea than an afterthought. Yes, you made it in LA, you have a hit song and your dreams are coming true. Why didn’t that feel like enough?

If you were gone, even just for a little bit, would anybody notice? If you just got up in your car and started driving somewhere unknown until the feeling of loneliness faded away. Could you drive your feelings away? Outrun them somehow?

You knew that if Calum could do it then so could you. It was so easy for him to just leave whatever you had behind, to leave you behind and hope that you were okay somehow. If he thought that you were okay then he maybe didn’t know you at all and you are probably better off without him, just like your friends say all the time.

But were you better off without him?

Tears started piling up in the corner of your eyes once again. No, you were not better off without him even though you want to be. And neither you are better off with him, if he ever came back to you, that is.

You swallowed a sob, trying your hardest not to break down again. It was useless, all the tears and all the songs and all the fuck him an attitude that you could muster… What was it for if not to dwell on your pain even more? You are still hurt and he still did not care.

You took a turn on the left, knowing the way like the back of your hand. You knew this path would lead you home, but you also knew it would lead you to his house as well.

The first time you did this was to practice how to find your way to Calum’s home without getting lost. You knew he wasn’t home and he wouldn’t be for many many months, but you wanted to surprise him once he got there, to pick him up and drive him to that date he promised you once he returned. Now, you avoided that road like a plague unless you had days like this, days in which missing him became everything you did, and now passing through his empty house gave you the reality check you desperately needed: He is gone. It also inspired you to write the song, it was a blessing and a curse.

You turned into the familiar street and looked to your right, you counted the houses passing by one, two, three, four… Until you spotted his old porch. Normally, that’s all you did. You would drive through his street and see the house dark and cold as his owner was out of town. But today there was a white car on his driveway.

Your breath got caught in your throat as you recognized the license plate, immediately stepping on the breaks and making the car stopped abruptly in front of the house.

That is his car… But how? You knew that Calum kept his car in Ashton’s place so they could drive up together to the airport every time they had to leave. What is it doing here? Tour didn’t end until a week from today and-

The sudden movement coming from the house pulled you from every rational thought as the front door opened. You held your breath as the person who stole all your sleepless nights came into view.

He was home.

Calum stepped out of his house with a bright smile on his face. His hair was shorter than the last time you’ve seen it, and he was less tanned, a fact that was easily noticeable thanks to the contrast of his leather jacket on his skin. But his dimples were intact as he smiled at whoever was inside the house.

A small figure came behind him, wrapping her arms around his torso as she was laughing at something he said. Her blond hair was falling down her back so elegantly, and her smile was bright as day as she hugged him, you wouldn’t have noticed that in the photos. She looked happy, but what broke you the most is that he looked happy as well.

He was home, but he was home with her.

You knew something was going on, even if there wasn’t anything official from either of them. You weren’t official, too. But seeing them was all the proof you needed to believe it. Believe that it was actually over and neither of you said goodbye.

You bit the inside of your cheek as silent tears started rolling down your face. You wanted to scream, to cry your hearts out, and let the world fuck itself over and over again. But for the love that you had on yourself, you promised that you wouldn't dignify him by making a scene. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to know you cared.

With that in mind, you wiped your tears and floored the gas pedal, driving away from the scene.

“Hey!!!!!”

“Guess what?”

“I PASSED THE TEST!”

“I can legally drive on my own now :D!”

Read 19:05

“Calum?”

“Oh, you must be at the concert now, my bad!”

“Let me know when we can FaceTime again! I can’t wait to tell you how it went! I’m so excited we can finally switch places and let me be the one in charge of the road, lol”

Read 23:54

“Is everything alright, Cal?”

Read 04:32

“I miss you”

Read July 19th 14:49

Last week you sent your last text to him and he still hadn’t responded yet. You tossed all night waiting for at least a smoke signal from him. He was gone for two months now and he never missed one of your calls, it was so unlike him, especially when he promised you to call every day he was on tour.

You tried to distract yourself by doing everything you could think of. You watched videos, listened to music, played candy crush over and over again, and still, there was no answer.

You were starting to give up when a notification from Twitter graced your screen, it read: “Calum Hood, bassist from the band 5 Seconds of Summer, seen cozying up with a mysterious girl in a nightclub two nights ago”

You blinked twice and reread the headline, hoping that your eyes were deceiving you.

“The Australian bassist seemed to be catching up with some friends and letting it all loose at a wild night here in London after their sold-out show in the O2 Arena.

Hood was wearing-”

You skipped all that unnecessary information, scrolling down to the bottom where you knew all media kept the real gossip. A bubble of anxiety started forming inside your throat, as your fingers moved over the screen. The atmosphere became heavy while you could hear your heart thundering inside your chest, every little beat it made was hurting you, almost like it was banging your ribcages begging to be set free.

Time stood still as you looked at the pictures, not wanting to believe your eyes as they analyzed every detail of it.

There he was, hugging a blond woman from behind and resting his face on her shoulders just like he used to do with you. Even from the picture, you could tell she was gorgeous. The next picture showed her wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling at him. He had his hands cupping her cheeks, his face denoted a serious expression, but the look in his eyes was fixed on her.

He kissed her in the third picture, his hands still cupping her cheeks. It seemed like he was smiling through the kiss.

The last picture had them sitting on some kind of leather sofa. She was sitting on his lap and his hands were wandering very close to her butt, holding her close to him.

“The fans of the band wasted no time on identifying the mysterious girl. She seems to be the new tour assistant manager of the boys. Let’s hope that work and pleasure don’t get between this beautiful couple #goals<3”

The stream of tears was never-ending. You couldn’t understand what was going on, why Calum hasn’t said anything to you, why-why did he let it happen? Something was not right, and it wasn’t just your breathing getting heavy inside your lungs or your shaky hands as you typed the next text.

“We need to talk, please call me?”

You got no answers that night as you cried yourself to sleep, realizing that you had no one to comfort you cause nobody knew that you two were even together. You were utterly alone.

The next morning you woke up to no text from him, not even a call or a voicemail.

Read 08:45

You forced yourself to finish your nighttime routine. Ever since you came back home you did nothing but cry, but not of sadness, you were crying of anger.

With him being far away it almost didn’t seem real. You allowed yourself to create some sort of fantasy where he would come back to you, to start over where you left off and be together for everyone to see. How foolish.

You thought that he’ll hear your song and he’ll be running back to you to apologize, to ask if you still love him like before. But he won’t, because he is happy without you while you rot in your own pity party.

You grabbed hold onto the counter, trying to hold the tears as everything suddenly became clear as day. All the red flags you ignored were now shining as candy apples. He made a fool of you and didn’t even dignify you with at least some kind of warning or apology. He brought you down and now it was up to you to climb back up and even higher than before.

How could he?

All the memories you held close to your heart were burning in the pyre of your soul. You loved him, you knew you did. But all you meant for him was just a summer fling, something to waste time on before the real thing came along.

But he loved you…

Did he?

He spent entire days and nights next to you. He told you stories no one’s ever heard of. He sang to you to sleep and wrote you the most beautiful poems you’ve ever read. He picked you up every day and stayed with you until it was your time to leave. He made you feel welcome and there was not a day where you didn’t feel safe around his arms. He was your best friend. He taught you how to drive and what it meant to feel something real, something as important as the love you could have for someone. He loved you, he said he did, he promised he did.

Maybe love was not enough for him.

Your mind was divided, fighting over and over and over again about the same thing. Part of you cursed his name while the other part just wanted to be held by him, telling you that it will all be okay. But you couldn't even trust yourself on this one.

The doorbell rang, one, two, three times.

You were not going to answer it. One look in the mirror and you knew you couldn't answer anyone in this state. Your eyes were puffy and red, your cheeks were hollowed from not eating all day. There was nothing you could do to make you look or feel better, so whoever was behind the door will have to find another way to disturb the chaos in your mind.

However, they were persistent. With the ring of the doorbell came a few bangs. It seemed urgent.

You took one last look at yourself before deciding with a sigh to go and open the door. Whoever it was must have a good reason to come banging at your door a little past midnight.

“I’m coming!” You called, voice coming out a little hoarse from crying all night.

A shiver ran down your back and you felt like you were here before, in this exact moment where all your instincts told you to walk away. You decided to ignore them as you gently turned the doorknob and opened the door. Immediately wishing you didn’t.

“Calum?”

He stood in front of you, soaked from head to toe. Hands in the pockets of his jacket, not the leather one, but one more cozy. He was also wearing a pair of sweatpants and part of his hair was stuck on his forehead. You didn’t realize it was raining.

“Can I come in?” He asked, not even a hello.

You debated on whether or not to let him in. Part of you wanted to throw him back into the streets, but a storm was coming - much in the literal and subliminal way, and you didn’t want him to drive in this weather, you still care for him even though you shouldn’t.

With a simple nod, you opened the door wide enough so he could enter the house, a little “thank you” came out of his mouth as he stepped inside for the first time in over a year.

You closed the door and started walking into the kitchen with Calum following you like a stray dog. Your hands were shaking so you hid them behind your back as you slowly wrapped your arms around you in an attempt to comfort you throughout this whole ordeal.

Calum is standing in front of you on the other side of the island. He is not looking at you, but rather he is looking at his feet. You figured he was too scared to be the first one to talk and it broke your heart that he has suddenly become shy around you when you used to tell each other everything. ‘But whose fault is that?’ You thought.

Now you were just two strangers in a room.

“I thought you’d still be on tour,” You said, breaking the silence that has fallen upon you.

Calum looked up and he almost looked thankful that you spoke first “The last two venues canceled at the last minute due to weather conditions,” He said “So we came back earlier than expected”

You nodded and faced the other way. The fact that he was here in your home made your stomach turn and not in a good way. You always thought him coming back was going to be something joyful, but it became more painful as time went by.

“They closed café Mariannete while I was gone” He said, was he really going to talk about that right now? Did he came over here to reminisce about the café you used to have breakfast in?

“I didn’t know. I don’t go there anymore”

More awkward silence came upon you. You both knew he was bullshiting his way into the real conversation he was avoiding to have. He always used to do that and you have forgotten how much you hated it.

“Were you driving by my house today?” He asked and you froze on the spot. You didn’t think that he saw you.

“I was,” You cleared your throat “I was coming back home”

“And you didn’t say hello” It was more a statement than a question.

A sour taste filled your mouth. How dare he? “You were busy enough” You knew it was a petty answer, but what did he expect?

A flash of hurt came through Calum’s eyes as he said nothing in return. He knew you saw him with her, so he had no excuse to push the topic back to you.

The atmosphere was tense as the only thing you could hear was the ticking of the clock and the raindrops falling through your window. There was so much to say and yet none of you were brave enough to muster them.

You had every right to be mad and he had a right to explain himself, but you were not going to be the first one to cave in. Not without hearing from him first.

Eventually, Calum got restless of the silence.

“Your song is amazing,” He said, pleading for an answer that didn’t contain poison in your words “Ashton showed it to us the day it came out”

So he has heard it, you didn’t know if you should be proud or ashamed “Thanks”

“I forgot to congratulate you on your number one”

“You forgot to do a lot of things”

If there was ever a moment where you could give him the chance to redeem himself, this was it.

You saw how Calum shifted his weight from foot to foot, he had his lips pressed in a thin line and you could see how his eyes changed and fell into a deep pit of regret as tears were forming in the corner of his eye.

“I know the song’s about me-” He said.

“How did you figure that out?” You said sarcastically.

“Y/N…” He pleaded, running a hand through his face, but you were having none of that.

“Why did you do it, Calum?”

You needed an answer, something you could hold onto to eventually let go. Calum, however, was almost speechless.

The ticking of the clock became even louder as you counted the seconds until he spoke again. One, two, three…

Ten “I don’t know”

The answer cut right through you as you let a stream of tears roll down your cheek, not lifting your head to look at him in the eyes. It wasn’t what you expected, it was way worse.

Calum noticed your crying and started panicking, spilling every thought he had through his mouth “I-I don’t- I was drunk and she was there with our groups of friends and we were too drunk to even take notice of what was happening and we just kissed and- Y/N, I’m not perfect. We weren’t perfect, we weren’t even official and it was only a kiss and I thought it would be okay but then the tabloids and your message and I just- And she’s a great friend, she didn’t mean any harm but things happened and-” He stammered, unable to connect his thoughts as he desperately tried to fix something so you would stop crying.

“For me it was perfect” You cried “We were perfect in my mind, you made it perfect. God, Calum. Why didn’t you tell me? I spent months in agony trying to figure it out, to make it make sense! I beat myself up over and over again and there you were having the time of your life with a stranger!” Your voice was loud, not enough to yell, but enough to make it clear that you were fuming.

“What are you talking about?!” Calum said matching the tone of your voice “I missed you every fucking day but there was nothing I could do about it! You don’t know shit of what you’re talking about!”

You scoffed “Oh yeah! It surely seemed like you missed me! You never called me once, Calum. Not even to apologize and try to make it better”

“I didn’t know how!” He said, “I was scared that-”

“That I’d hate you?”

“That you’d forgive me,” Calum said in one breath, making you stare in shock “I-I didn’t want you to forgive me, Y/N, cause you deserve so much better. On tour I realized that I wasn’t ready for a relationship, no matter how much you mean to me and I didn’t know how to tell you that so-”

“And are you ready now? That’s why you are with her?” You interrupted, head filled with anger to even think straight.

“I’m not ready to be with either of you!”

The room felt silent once again.

You had no answer to that and you weren’t sure you wanted to hear more from him.

The rain outside your window started to calm down, only droplets of water were left as the memory of the storm that almost was.

Your legs gave out a minute later, sliding you down slowly onto the floor. Calum walked up to you and sat next to you, neither of you saying anything for what it seemed like hours.

“You said you loved me…” You said with a faint voice.

Calum sighed “I did. I do”

“And you love her too?”

He thought about it “I don’t know. I might” You closed your eyes as a tear fell down your cheek “She’s good to me, Y/N. And we really got close but-”

“I know,” You said with a soft sniffle “We weren’t perfect either”

“You do know I love you, right?” He said softly, turning his face towards you “And that everything we had was real. Every minute of it, every word in every song was true and it still is. All was real and it’s still there somewhere. I still want you in my life, Y/N, cause you make it better. I just,” He sighed “I need to figure my shit out”

“Yeah, you do” You said, making him chuckle darkly “But I can’t promise I’ll be here”

“I wouldn’t ask you to”

You sat there in silence for a few more moments, just enjoying each other's company before everything fades away.

“I love you, too” You said in a whisper, hoping that he won’t hear “I still fucking love you”

Calum sighed “I know”

“Guess that you didn’t mean what you wrote on that song about me

‘Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street”

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* if your url is crossed please reach out to me so we can fix it

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w-ndrr · 3 years

Text

distraction | diana prince x batgirl!reader (m)

a/n: this is nsfw! viewer discretion advised :) i also don’t write a lot of smut so i will try my very best. thanks for reading! <3 xoxo isabelle

summary: (possessive wonder woman x batgirl!reader smut) after diana and bruce’s little sister!reader have a falling out, they meet again at bruce’s little soirée and they do the thing >.<

word count: hold up idk yet (update ok now i know it’s 4.27k+)

warnings: AHEMMM the tiniest bit of angst, overprotectiveness, jealousy, possessiveness, make up sex? idk, smut; top!diana, fingering, oral, dirty talk?, hair pulling, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, marking, body worship, and her f*cking lasso

Gotham City was the pride of criminals and wrongdoers. At every corner of any street, there is always a victim at the receiving end of these crimes. It was dark place to be—to live in. The endless corruption in this city felt suffocating to be even a part of. You couldn’t imagine why a person would want to live here. Especially, with a clown always on the loose. But, the Batman has always come to save the day... Usually.

Batman was the shoulder the people of this crime infested city would lean on. Time and time again, he’s saved his city, delivering justice to the criminal element. But, he was a busy man. Under his vigilante persona, he was Bruce Wayne; he’s got a company to run, a public to satisfy and little sister to protect.

Unfortunately, having a brother like him, you followed a lot of his footsteps and decided to go save the city sometimes, too, which he passionately protested for you not to do so. You were Batgirl. And you told him that he’s got other bigger responsibilities like being a highly treasured member of the his little superhero club, the Justice League.

You’ve met the members of the Justice League. They were interesting people and they were friendly sometimes. One of them stood out, though.

Her name was Diana. Diana Prince. And you had fallen in love with her as did she. Her intelligence and determination to protect everyone was endearing. Not to mention, she was a beauty amongst beauties and you had willingly wrapped yourself around her finger.

Her love for you was undeniable. She wanted to protect you at all costs and if any harm had come to you, she would never forgive herself for not being there. She wanted you safe all the time.

But, as Batgirl, that was something you couldn’t promise.

Sometimes you would come home to her with fatal injuries and she would have to tend to your wounds. And every second, she loathed it. She hated it when you bled. She hated it when you came home with bruises and cuts. She hated it when you would cry when it was too painful.

And after almost two years of being together, the both of you fought and argued and screamed at each other. Out of anger, Diana had admitted to you being weak with no powers. She has faced many strong dangers and she believed it would be hard for you to stand against a villain who possesses powers from beyond. The words that spilled her mouth had shocked even her and she tried to take it all back but, it was too late.

You were livid. She thought you were weak, and you were angry. You stormed off and cried into the arms of your big brother. Bruce understood what Diana was thinking. At some point, he thought of you like that, too. In a way, he still kind of does. And that was okay. He’s your big brother and he should be protective the same way Diana should be.

It had been months since you spoke to Diana; the last conversation you had together didn’t go so well. You were still angry at her, but you also missed her. You loved being with her. Sometimes, because of it, you wanted to just forget about the whole fight and go back.

But, you’re not weak. And you knew that.

Lately, Bruce has been trying really hard to make your days better. He knew it would be hard to do so without the Amazonian. He also knew she was the key to making you happy.

So, he threw a gala in an attempt to get the two of you back together.

You hated parties, whether it contained solo cups, cheap beer, and blaring music or inconsequent polite conversation, canapes, and wine. You didn’t like them. You would usually put on an act as you entered the room; Bruce Wayne’s beautiful little sister. She was charismatic, a little cocky, liked to mingle, liked to drink. All which you are not.

Even though Bruce knew you wouldn’t want to go to a stupid party at the top floor of one of his hotels, it was the only way to get you and Diana into a room together without worrying about world problems. Bruce told her about the plan. You would be angry, she already predicted that, but she missed you. By the gods, she misses you so much. She would do anything to see you.

And when she did, her body ached for you. She saw you through a sea of business men and women and other important people she could care less about. You glowed in that beautiful silk gown and her eyes stuck to you like glue. Your stride, your confidence and your back, on full display, caught the eye of innumerable people in the room and she wanted to hide you—to keep you away from their lingering eyes. You belonged to her.

As she was just about to walk towards you, she heard your laugh. When she looked to the side, there was a man dressed in a fancy, three piece suit standing in front of you with a glass of champagne in between his fingers, just like you.

Bruce walks past Diana and before he could walk away successfully, she grabbed the collar of his suit jacket and pulled him close enough to talk.

“Who is that?” Diana pointed in your direction.

Bruce’s eyes darted to you then to your partner, “Oh, that’s Jamie Harris, one of the head scientists at my Biotech department... Also, (Y/N)’s—”

“Ex. Got it.”

Diana shook her head and sighed. You had only mentioned him once when you and Diana had talked about past significant others.

“What’s your plan, princess?” Bruce raises an eyebrow at the tall woman.

“What do you think I should do?”

“I would recommend just going up to her,” Bruce suggests. “Interrupt them before they doing anything big. You never know, he could be asking her out right now.”

The Amazonian nodded as she turned her head back towards your direction. Clenching her jaw at the sight of you and this short man, she walked over confidently with her eyebrows furrowed. When she got close enough, Diana had to clear her throat to grab both of your attention.

“Ahem,” Diana pursed her lips slightly before putting on a synthetic smile. “Do you mind if I interrupt?”

Diana watched as you met her gaze before immediately taking a large sip of your champagne with your soft, pretty lips. She sees your jaw clench and your eyes glance everywhere but her.

“Not at all,” the man exclaims happily, straightening his posture as he watches the woman that joined them. “Mind I interest you in a glass, Miss...”

“Prince,” Diana nods at him although she could care less about whatever comes out of this puny man’s mouth. “(Y/N). It’s nice to see you again.”

After preparing, you give her a fake smile and say, “I wish I could say the same to you, Diana.”

The Amazonian swears her she felt a sharp pain in her chest. She licks her lips and stares at the floor. She notices your foot tapping against it as if you were getting impatient and her eyes traveled from your feet, to the hand the rested lowly at the curve your hip, up to your collarbones, then to your neck that she missed to kiss so much. Diana felt her mouth go dry. You looked so good. All she wanted now was to take you away from this man and everyone else in this room just to have you all to herself. Her body ached to touch you—to feel your skin against hers.

But, this man was in the way.

“Ahem. Nice to meet you, Miss Prince,” Jamie gives her a smug smile and puts her hand out to shake hers. “I’m Jamie Harris! You can call me Jamie. A scientist working under Bru—”

“That’s great, Mr. Harris,” Diana says without even giving him a glance given that her eyes were practically glued onto you. “You look stunning, Miss Wayne.”

“She does, doesn’t she?” Jamie butts in with a laugh. “You should see her in the morning! Her does this curl thing and it looks ridicu—”

“I beg to differ, Mr. Harris,” Diana clenched her jaw even harder and glares at him. “In fact, I hope you are not criticizing her hair when you have the same do as Colonel Muammar Gaddafi.”

“I—Uh. W-Who—”

“ A dictator. I’m sorry. I forget you’re a scientist, not a politician—”

“Diana.”

Your voice held so much authority over her; it stopped her in her tracks and she stutters only for a moment before turning her head back to you. She swallows the lump in her throat as she studies the look on your face. Your eyes were bold, glaring at her with her brows furrowed.

“A word, please,” you tell her with a sigh. “Alone.”

Diana takes a deep breath in attempt to let out some steam. She feels your hand grab her arm to take her away from the crowds and out into a secluded hall. The moment you touched her, she felt like she was on fire. She followed behind you and watched the way you walk and by the gods, she wanted nothing more than to put her hands on your hips if you’d let her.

After you decided that it was far enough from the party, you turned around with your brows furrowed as you looked at her, her brows furrowed as well. You inhaled slowly as she crossed her arms over her chest. God, she was distracting. You shook your head and closed your eyes.

“What are you doing?”

“What are you doing talking to your—”

“Ex, Diana? What’s wrong with it?” you yell at her. “I’m doing the same thing right now, aren’t I?”

Diana is taken back for a moment. Sometimes, she denies that the two of you actually broke up. You watch her as she brings her long fingers up to scratch her neck slowly. God, it was distracting.

“(Y/N). I don’t like it when you talk to other people who are obviously interested in you,” the Amazon tells you firmly. “It angers me.”

“I can do whatever I want, Diana. The last time I checked, we’re not together anymore,” you step closer to her. “And I’m not weak! I don’t need you or Bruce to tell me what I can and can’t do. I know I don’t have powers like you or Clark or Barry. I know that very well. I know I have to be more careful than all of you because I don’t get a second chance. But, Bruce does the same thing everyday! Why can’t I? I’ve trained the same as he has. I’ve fought the same as you all have! I make my own choices. Diana, I’m tired of everyone treating me like I’m glass!”

After you were finished, you heaved for air and your eyes had brimmed with tears. You had barely taken a breath since you started talking. Diana had watched your chest rise up and down and to be honest, it was really attractive when you did. Diana mentally cursed at herself for thinking about you like that after you had poured your heart out. But, by the gods, you were so distracting.

Diana had only stared at you after your speech and it only made you furious. Rubbing your fingers over your temples, you closed your eyes and let out a sigh.

“I’m done with this,” you throw your hands into the air and attempted to walk past her.

Before you could get away, Diana places her hand on your upper arm and pulls you back. She wasn’t really thinking as much as she was doing. And you weren’t exactly prepared for this next move she had in mind; in fact, it’ll leave you speechless.

“Diana—”

Her lips pressed against yours, hardly wasting no time to slide them together with a tilt of her head. Her nose brushes against yours and you sigh into the kiss. God, you’ve missed her. Even if she made you angry, you’ve missed her so much these past few months.

Diana kisses you like you were the finest thing she’ll ever taste. She kisses you with so much force that it’s all you could think about. And when she slipped her tongue past your lips to meet yours, you almost fell weak at your knees, but she released the grip on your arm and pressed her hand flat on your back, pressing you against her front firmly. You held onto her shoulders as you moaned into her mouth. Gods, when you did, Diana aggressively fought the urge to take you right there in this hall.

Diana pulls her head back to look at you. Your lipstick was slightly smudged and your eyes were half lidded as you breathed heavily.

“I’m getting us a room.”

The Amazonian thanked Bruce in her head for throwing this damn party on the rooftop of one of his hotels. So, she dragged you far, far away from the soirée and into a bed.

Before the door even opened into the room, Diana had your legs wrapped around her waist as she carried you in. She almost wanted to kick the door down after struggling to get the keycard through the slot, but it didn’t even matter. She had pressed your back against the door, lips sliding over each other, as she slipped the keycard in.

The door opened with an electronic beep and you were met with a wide room with a large white bed in front of a large window looking down at the city lights almost seventy stories up from the ground. The view illuminated the room dimly and there was no need to even turn the lights on.

Diana closed the door with her foot and slammed you against the wall (as lightly as she could without hurting you). Your hands tangled up in her hair as she moves her lips from your mouth, to your jaw, and then down to your neck. She bit on you lightly before sucking passionately until a bruise formed. And she didn’t stop. She marked you all over your neck. After she would give you a hickey, she would run her tongue over it softly. She would kiss you behind your ear, underneath your jaw, and back to you lips. She missed you so much and she couldn’t wait to mark you all over your body like you belonged to her; and you did.

Diana easily ripped your gown off and slid it down from your shoulders (it’s fine, she’ll buy you a new one). You were pressed up against her and the wall behind you as you held her waist tighter with you legs. The Amazonian rested her head in the crook of your neck as her hand slid down from your waist to your panties. She felt the warmth and wetness through the fabric and it made her groan. By the gods, you were so wet. It turned her on so much.

“Diana,” you heaved.

She waited. It was all up to you if you wanted to continue because, fuck, once she starts taking you, she won’t stop. But, if you wanted to stop, she would stop.

“Diana, Diana,” you whined as you ran a hand through her hair. “Please. Please. Fuck, Diana... I need you.”

Diana immediately slips her hand into your underwear and pushes a fingers into you. She listens to you moan as she presses against your walls. Quickly finding your g-spot, Diana pulls her head away from your neck to watch your mouth open, to watch you gasp, to watch you furrow your eyebrows, and to watch you lean your head back against the wall.

You had said her name ten times already tonight and each time it turned her on. She couldn’t wait to get you to moan and scream her name as many times as she could get you to. She couldn’t wait.

“You sound so beautiful,” she coos. “I’m going to make you come and come until you can’t take it anymore.”

Diana slips another finger into you and you held onto her shoulders as you moan at the sound of her voice and the feeling of her long fingers pistons in and out of you quickly.

“You’re going to scream for me, my love,” Diana whispers in your ear. “You’re going to let everyone know who you belong to. Okay?”

“D-Diana,” you moan.

“Is that clear?”

“Yes!” you yell. “Fuck yes, Diana!”

Her fingers move faster and faster and it keeps you moaning for her. You get tighter and tighter and soon, Diana has to speed up and apply more pressure to bring you closer and closer to the edge. Searing sensations spread from your core and through out your body and the moment she pressed her thumb onto your clit, you come undone.

You can feel wetness gushing out of you with each flick of her thumb as your legs shake around her. Diana breathes into your neck as she listens to you pant for air with a shaky breath. She lets you ride out your orgasm only for a moment because she wants to move on to the next step.

You moan as you feel her fingers slip out of you with a squelch. Without breaking eye contact, Diana brings her slick fingers to mouth and licks your juices off, sucking on her fingers like a lollipop. By the gods, you tasted divine. She can’t wait to have more. You gasp as she leans in to kiss you again with the taste of you still on her tongue. Her kisses were far from controlled as she sucked on your bottom lip, biting it softly until you groaned into her mouth.

“Shit, Diana.”

Diana smiles and easily carries you over to the bed and lays on you on top it, near the edge. She stood in between your legs and before she does anything else, you watch her slide out of her dress smoothly down her skin. Her eyes never left your gaze. She was so turned on seeing you laid out on the bed, waiting for her to take you. The Amazonian climbs on top of you and kisses you passionately with a moan as your hands meet her bare back. In a swift movement, Diana slips a hand underneath you and unclasps your bra before sliding the straps down your pretty shoulders.

Her eyes hungrily roam over your breasts and your curves and Diana wastes no time to mark you. She leaves hickeys on your shoulders, down the valley of your breasts, and on your stomach. She was in love with the way you looked right now.

“You look so beautiful, (Y/N), my love,” she says, putting a nipple into her mouth. “Your body was made for me.”

She sucks on it for a seemingly long period of time before switching to your other breast. Listening to you moan as she ducked on your nipples gave her butterflies. She starts kissing your lower stomach at the moment and hooks her thumbs through your underwear, pulling them down at a painfully slow pace. When she finally pulls your underwear off, your entrance is met with the cold air.

“Nobody can have you but me,” she tells you firmly, running her hands down your sides. “You’re mine.”

Diana excitedly pushes your knees apart for each other, spreading your legs for her. She stared desperately, eyes swallowing the beautiful sight of your slick entrance. Your thighs were still wet from earlier and she wasted no time kissing up your inner thigh. They starts off as soft, light kisses before leaving hickeys on the inside of your thighs. You were so close to her entrance but she still hasn’t put her tongue on you yet.

“Diana, please.”

She hummed against you before dragging her tongue up your thighs, tasting your juices from earlier. She used her fingers to spread your pussy lips apart. Her tongue ran up and down your lips, lapping at whatever she could to simply gather your taste. And once she did, gods, she drove her head deeper into you.

All you could do was pant and moan as the woman, with her head between legs, devours you like it was her last meal. You run your hands through her hair before pulling on it when her tongue reaches a sensitive spot. And when you moaned louder because of it, she doesn’t stop stimulating that spot over and over again until you’re a moaning mess for her.

She lapped all the juices that were spilling from your entrance like she was starving as she her fingers kept you spread open for her. Diana’s lips wrapped around your lips and sucked as hard as she could before they moved to another much more sensitive area. She pursed right around the nub of your clit, sucking it into her mouth. She flicked her tongue against it causing you to moan her name over and over again until you came a second time on her tongue.

Your juices spill out of you and your legs tremble uncontrollably as your heavy pants were heard throughout the room, however, Diana doesn’t stop just yet. She continues fuck you through your orgasm, sucking on your sensitive clit before slipping two fingers inside of you, moving at a quick pace.

“Oh, my god, D-Diana! I’m—Fuck! Please—”

You’re screaming at this point as she continues to overstimulate you. Your hands desperately pushing at her head as your legs keep trembling. Pulling her fingers out of you, she pulls her golden lasso from out of nowhere and quickly ties your wrists up to the headboard. Diana spreads your thighs as wide as they could go once while holding your hips down as she goes back to lewdly sucking your clit. Slurping at whatever she tastes, she groaning in happiness as she covers your whole pussy with her mouth. Her hands reach down to grope at your the flesh of your ass and push your hips further into her face.

“God, Diana! You’re gonna make me come,” you shake your head as moan, “I’m coming, I’m fucking comin—— Diana!”

She pushes you into a third orgasm as you arch you back against the mattress and scream her name once again. Diana happily laps and swallows all of the juices spilling out of you before pulling her head up from between her legs. You came twice on her tongue already and you felt drained of energy.

“You taste so good, (Y/N),” Diana licks her lips; there’s a visible shine on chin where your cum was dripping from her mouth.

You don’t have the energy to respond just yet, so you lay there catching your breath. Feeling lips kiss you softly up from your stomach to your neck and jaw, Diana presses her lips softly against yours with the taste of you still on her tongue, but you pull away to speak first.

“What about you?”

“I only intended to making you feel good. Besides, your pleasure gives me pleasure,” Diana shakes her head and smiles, leaning down to kiss you again.

“I’ve missed you so much,” you murmured against her lips. “I barely lasted these few months without you. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to go back to you so badly, but I’m going to stand my ground because—”

“(Y/N).”

She stops you from going any further, knowing it was the lasso making you talk. With a sigh, Diana looks away from your face and unties the golden ropes at your wrists and throws it onto the floor.

You gently place the palm of your hands on her neck just below her jaw, using your thumbs to turn her head and face you.

“I do miss you,” you quickly give her a peck, only for her to chase your lips with hers. “But, Diana, I need you to trust in me a little more. We all get hurt in our battles and we all come back stronger afterwards.”

You can feel her jaw clenching with your thumbs. Her eyes were closed shut and her breathing staggers a little bit.

Diana opens her glossy eyes after a moment as a single tear drops from her eyes to your face, “I am truly sorry for what I said. I don’t think you’re weak at all. You’re strong, (Y/N). And brave. And you’re willing to give your life to save people. I guess I’m just scared of that because—”

“I know, Diana. I understand,” you nod your head as you look up at her, propped up by her elbows so that she could hover over you. “I’m sorry.”

Diana shakes head rapidly and apologizes more. She puts a hand over one of yours which was caressing her face. She kisses the palm of your hand before finally giving in and puts her whole weight on you, placing her face in the crook of your neck where she kisses you softly.

“Are we okay?”

“Let’s just have this moment and deal with everything else later,” Diana smiles into your neck, seeing all of the hickeys she left on you.

You nod your head as your eyes start to get heavy. Closing your eyes shut, you let your self fall into a calm slumber as Diana’s voice was the last thing you hear.

“I love you. We’ll be okay.”

a/n: i’m sorry if this was kind of long and if there’s some errors bc i didn’t proofread this at all bc i’m fking lazy haha but thank you so much for reading!!

xoxo isabelle

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winterscaptain · 4 years

Text

in the dark.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

request from anon: I dont know if you've already done something like this 😅 But can you do a hotch x new bau member? Like her and hotch are already a thing and they try to keep it hidden (and they do for a like a month) before someone makes the connection. Just a big secret fluff fest?

a/n: ask and you shall receive anon! secret fluff fests happen to be my specialty, and you’ll need hella mouthwash and floss for this one to avoid cavities. i had SO much fun writing this one and couldn’t wait until the morning to post it. words: 4,791 (whoops) warnings: some swearing, nothing too wild.

part two!

AO3 | Masterlist | Requests Closed for Now!

+++

You stepped into the elevator and took it to the sixth floor, where you knew the exact route you needed to take to avoid the BAU bullpen. You’d been called to Erin Strauss’s office, pulled from the heavy caseload at CARD for some kind of mystery meeting with the adjacent section chief.

Checking your watch, you figured that there would be enough time to for a visit before returning to the eighth floor if this meeting didn’t run too long.

“Good morning, Agent. Thank you for coming in.”

You were halfway impressed – you’d barely made it through the door when she started talking. “Good morning, ma’am.”

She stood, handing you a folder. “This shouldn’t take too long, but you’re welcome to sit.”

You flipped through the folder, taking a seat in one of the chairs across from her desk. “A transfer from CARD, ma’am?”

Erin nodded. “I’d like you to try a stint in the BAU. We are working to fill a few roles as the unit’s caseload increases, and when asked, your unit chief did not hesitate to recommend you.”

Oh god.

Your thought died on your tongue before it could leave your mouth.

That was a problem for another time.

You cleared your throat to cover the rising heat in your cheeks. “Yes, ma’am. Of course.”

“You should have no issues settling into the team. Your new unit chief, Aaron Hotchner, is a strong personality, and I am the first person to tell you he’s not always easy to get along with –“

You stifled a laugh, covering it with a light cough into your elbow.

“- but his team is very capable. If you have any issues at all, feel free to bring them to me.” She placed her reading glasses back on her nose and signed something in front of her.

“Shall I report to Agent Hotchner today?”

Agent Hotchner. That’s a goddamn crackup.

“No, not today. I’ll get everything in order for your arrival tomorrow. Report at 9am tomorrow. Agent Hotchner will be ready for you.”

You’re damn right he will.

+++

You rolled over in bed and burrowed into the warm body beside you. To get any closer, you’d have to be under his skin.

Aaron grumbled and managed to pull you even closer, one arm spanning the length of your spine and the other resting across your thigh where it was slung over his hip.

You were somewhere between sleeping and waking for the next hour or so. The slow rise and fall of Aaron’s chest under your cheek brought you a bone-deep calm, letting you rest comfortably in that liminal space.

You were prepared when Aaron’s alarm went off, a full half-hour before it normally did.

“Early meeting?” you asked, as if you didn’t already know.

He hummed an affirmative and tipped your chin up with one finger. “No earlier than usual, but I want to get settled in before the day starts.”

My favorite Type-A Unit Chief.

You smiled against his mouth, stretching up into his kiss. It quickly turned less-than chaste, your tongues sliding together and your hands wandering across his chest and back. The raised ridges of his scars marked your path as you traced invisible patterns on his skin. You knew his body as well as he did, maybe better, and he yours.

After a few minutes, you came to your senses and pulled back. He looked dazed, his lips swollen and plush, his hair soft and tousled on top of his head.

“You have no business looking that good when you have to leave early,” you said with a light laugh. You carded your fingers through the hair at his temples, taking the opportunity to sweep your thumb across his cheekbone.

He gave you a crooked grin and reached for you again. You rolled away from him, pressing your palms to his chest and locking your elbows.

“If you keep this up, you’re gonna be late.”

Aaron rolled his eyes and threw the covers back, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. You launched yourself across the bed and wrapped your arms around him, tracing the lines of his chest and abdomen with light and playful fingers.

“As you so astutely pointed out, I will be late if you keep this up.” His chastisement was weak, at best.

You pressed kisses to the space between his shoulder blades and pushed him out of bed. He turned around and brought your face between his hands, pressing a series of kisses against your lips.

How he ever makes it to work on time, I have no idea.

+++

At about 8:50 that morning, Strauss knocked twice on Aaron’s open office door before letting herself in.

Aaron looked up. After processing who it was, he set his pen down and laced his fingers.

Why is she always ten minutes early?

“Good morning, ma’am.”

“Good morning, Agent Hotchner.” She looked a little antsy, but he wasn’t sure if that was just her general affect, or something more specific.

“What can I do for you this morning?”

“You have a new agent reporting to your unit this morning. Highly recommended. An asset. Please be welcoming.” She was short and to the point, but it made Aaron’s head hurt.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “All due respect, ma’am, it has been very difficult for me to manage these new agents with such little notice.”

“I understand, but that is my call and not yours.” Aaron suppressed a sigh as she continued. “You’re perfectly capable of managing a larger team, especially one with such capable agents.” She placed the personnel file on his desk and walked out, leaving the door open behind her.

“Damn it,” he said to himself. There was no point in reviewing the file – it was entirely possible Strauss told the agent to report at nine, which means they would probably arrive early, which means –

“Aaron?”

He looked up at the door and his face broke out into a smile in spite of his sour mood. After a quick moment, he sobered and picked up the file on his desk. “I can’t chat long, sweetheart – I have a new agent reporting this morning.”

You did your best to look both politely interested and appropriately surprised.

“Oh, of course, love. I’ll leave you to it.” You were still smiling at him, waiting for it all to click into place.

“Thank you. It shouldn’t be long. We haven’t been called on a case yet this week, and the new agent will have to sit with Dave to work through a couple of consults so I can get a better read on capabilities...” He trailed off, distracted. He opened the file but didn’t look down, his gaze still stuck on you.

You sauntered back toward him. Your palms met the cool wood of the desk as you leaned over it and kissed him lightly. His shaky exhale fanned across your face – restraint evident in his posture. You were taunting him, and he knew it.

But the door was closed....damn it.

He still hadn’t looked down at the file, but a small smile dancing around his mouth. “You can’t be here. My new agent will be here in a few minutes, at the very most.”

“Who’s the agent?”

He shook his head and glanced down at the file. He did a double-take, and the only thing more comical than his head flying back up was the pink flush that rushed to his cheeks.

There was silence for a moment as you watched him process the information before him.

“You’re my new agent,” he said. It wasn’t a question.

You winked at him.

“Did you ask?”

You shook your head and sat, leaning back in the chair and getting comfortable.

“When did you find out?”

“Yesterday.”

He closed the file and set it back on his desk. His arms crossed as he reclined in his chair, an eyebrow raised at you.

You finally gave in, resting your elbows on his desk and your chin in your hands. “Are you upset?”

He laughed, and you were happy the door was closed. There was no way you could keep anything from the team if they’d heard that. “No, I’m not upset. We’ll just have to compartmentalize a little bit. It won’t be easy, and we’ll have to tell Strauss eventually.”

“Let’s just see how long it takes for the team to pick up on it, and we’ll go from there. What do you think?” Keeping a team of profilers in the dark was no easy task, but you were up to the challenge.

Aaron’s face drops into his normal operating expression – stoic and a little skeptical. You’d seen it before, and you supposed you’d grow even more accustomed to it soon enough. “That sounds perfectly reasonable, Agent. You can speak to facilities about getting a desk downstairs. Report to Agent Rossi next door – he will walk you through all of our procedures.”

You suppressed a smile and stood. “Thank you, sir. Will that be all?”

He returned to his report, but there was a smile threatening at the corner of his mouth. “Yes, Agent. That will be all. Thank you.”

This was going to be fun.

+++

Your first three cases went smoothly. You quickly endeared yourself to the team and had a natural knack for building geographical profiles with Reid. Hotch did his best to pay you very little mind in the field, only to knock on your hotel room door in the very small hours of the morning.

The humor in referring to him as “Hotch” and “Agent Hotchner” and “Sir” hadn’t worn off yet. You had to suppress a smile every single time. It was easier for him, as he was so accustomed to working with his natural stoicism. The hardest part for the both of you was avoiding anything that looked like familiarity. Casual brushes of his arm, catching his sleeve, his hand on your lower back as you got into the car – it all had to go.

You’re new. You’re new. You don’t know anyone. Keep it together.

It was a game, in some ways, and one you both enjoyed playing for different reasons.

“How are you liking it so far?” Emily asked, dropping down next to you on the jet.

Aaron was across from you at the table, and you’d been playing a quiet game of footsie for the better part of fifteen minutes. You pulled away first, tucking one foot under you as you turned to face Emily.

“So far so good,” you replied. “It’s a little bloodier than CARD, but dealing with adults is always easier than dealing with parents.”

She laughed lightly and clicked her tongue. “Well, once you get your first case with kids, we’ll revisit that one.” She lowered her voice, not that Hotch wouldn’t be able to hear her. “They’re always particularly hard on JJ and Hotch, you know.”

You nodded sagely. “I can imagine.”

Hotch raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

She bumped your shoulder with hers and invited you to drinks with Derek and Penelope when all the paperwork was finished.

“Sure,” you said, beaming. “I’d love to.”

You looked back down at your tablet as she rose to find a better place to nap. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a minuscule grin on Aaron’s face and returned it with one of your own.

+++

“Oh c’mon everyone has a crush on someone in their section,” JJ exclaimed, looking to Penelope for confirmation. All of you, save for Aaron and Dave, piled into the car and went to the bar when you finished your case reports.

Garcia nodded. “Oh absolutely. Have you seen those TASK guys?”

“Hey, I’m right here.” Morgan pulled on one of her pigtails. She stuck her tongue out at him.

“No but seriously,” Emily said. “Anyone catching your eye?”

You shrugged noncommittally, sipping your drink. “Not really.”

JJ squinted at you. “You might want to rethink lying to a bunch of profilers.”

“I thought profiling each other was against the rules!”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Well yeah, but that’s mostly for the big stuff, and it’s more a suggestion than a rule.”

“I thought I saw you eyein’ our fearless leader last week,” Penelope said with a sly grin.

You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your drink, buying yourself some time. You knew exactly what she was talking about – a press conference, in which Hotch shut down a particularly combative reporter with a practiced finesse. You’d failed to hide your smile before Penelope caught you, on one of her rare outings on a case.

“Yeah! I watched you guys on that last case. He’s way nicer to you than he was to me when I first got here.” Emily sounded a little hurt and a lot indignant.

Derek bumped your shoulder with his and gestured to Emily. “That’s because she was insufferable when she first got here,” he stage-whispered.

Emily looked damn near close to throwing her drink at him when you finally relented.

“Okay, fine. I may or may not have noticed that Hotch is...attractive.” You tried your best to sound more evasive and far less sure than you were. You were certain Aaron was one of the finer men you’d ever laid your eyes on, but they didn’t need to know that.

“Aha!” JJ said with a laugh. “I knew it!”

“What?” You asked

“You’ve got a crush on Ho-“ She shut her mouth abruptly as her gaze shifted over your shoulder. Emily swiftly took a massive sip of her drink and set it down a little too roughly.

You all turned around, only to find Hotch standing behind you at the bar.

“Am I too late?”

“No!” Penelope said, a little too quickly. “Not at all. Here, take my seat.”

She vacated the seat beside you, and you shot her a look.

You were playing your part well, and so was Aaron. With a small smile, he sat beside you.

“Settling in okay?” He asked. The bartender placed a beer in front of him, and he winked at you when he took a drink.

“Ah,” you said. “Emily beat you to that question,” you checked your watch, “about an hour ago. I think I said something about it being a little bloodier than I imagined, and that my new boss is a real hardass.”

+++

When you stumbled through the door of his apartment, a bit flushed and a little tipsy, you couldn’t stop laughing. You toed off your shoes and collapsed into his chest, looping your arms around his neck.

“Emily was trying so hard to weasel something out of me! You should have seen her, Aaron it was hilarious.”

He pulled you close and pressed his cold nose into your neck. You jumped and gave his hair a swift tug.

He looked up and his eyes darkened. You knew that look.

My God, he’s handsome.

“What do you say we string them along a little longer?” He asked, his voice low and rough.

You gulped. “I think that’s a great idea.” It came out a little higher and a little breathier than you intended, but he tended to have that effect on you.

+++

You had just turned off the light when there was a knock on your hotel room door. With a sigh, you hauled yourself back out of bed and opened the door.

Aaron was on the other side, in his flannel pajama pants and one of his many black crew-neck t-shirts. He looked exhausted, but that was normal when you were on the road.

“Want any company?”

As if he had to ask.

You stepped back, letting him in and locking the door behind him. He had a hand on you almost the entire time, fingers glancing across your skin as you felt your way across the room in the dark.

When you both settled under the covers, he wrapped around you, pulling you flush against him with your back to his chest. Within minutes, you were already dozing, safe and warm in his embrace.

“Hey, Y/N?” It was almost a whisper.

You matched his volume, as to not break the sanctity of the darkness. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d told you, not by a long shot. Nevertheless, it never lost its novelty. Maybe he said it a little differently or maybe you heard it a little differently each time he said it, but it always managed to set off a wave of affection that originated somewhere near your sternum.

You took his hand from where it rested against your abdomen and pressed a kiss to his palm. “I love you too.”

When your alarm woke you in the morning, he was gone. A note covered your phone where it rested on the nightstand. His blocky, even script danced in even lines across the paper.

Sweetheart,

I had to get back to my room before the others got up, but I didn’t want to wake you. I’ll see you at the precinct in a couple of hours.

I love you (even when you snore).

- AH

You scoffed. You’d get him back for that later.

I don’t snore, Aaron Hotchner.

+++

The laughter carried out of Aaron’s office and down the hall, where Dave was reading at his desk. He set his book down – the latest advance copy of a friend’s draft he’d offered to go over as a favor – and listened.

He thought he was mistaken, but he could swear he heard Aaron laughing, too.

And laughing he was. You were reaching forward with great ambition. Your one knee giving you leverage on the desk, one foot keeping your balance on one of the chairs, trying in vain to snatch the pen from his hand.

“Give it to me! You’ve been here for hours!”

Aaron’s left arm stretched high into the air as he reclined in his seat, the pen in question entirely out of your reach.

You changed tactics, bracing yourself against the desk as you leaned forward and snatched his tie. You pulled it, tugging him toward you. Your lips crashed together, and you wound the tie around your fingers to keep him close to you.

Kissing Aaron never got old. He relaxed into you, leaning forward. His hands were warm on your face, his thumbs sweeping across your cheekbones. You could feel the pen resting against your skin between his index and middle fingers.

You brought your hand to his wrist, your thumb at his pulse point. It was always reassuring to know he was here and alive. But there was, of course, an ulterior motive.

When you slid your fingers up the side of his hand, you took the pen from between his fingers. You threw it over your shoulder and he laughed into your mouth. You pulled back and kissed his nose. He looked at you, and you looked back for a moment, the outside world forgotten.

Meanwhile, Dave had left his office, peering through the not-so-closed blinds and listening through the open door.

“How long were you planning to keep us in the dark, kids?”

You jumped apart, skittering to your feet and turning around. At attention, you heard Aaron sigh and slowly rise to his feet.

“Dave, I –“

Rossi waved him off with a wide smile. “No need. As long as I get to be in on it, I’ll drag the rest along as long as you’d like.”

He crossed the office and took your face in his hands, kissing you on both cheeks. At your left, he whispered in your ear. “Thank you for taking care of his heart.”

+++

“Oh, you are so busted.”

Aaron froze where he stood, closing the door to your hotel room. He grit his teeth and took a breath. “JJ –“

She sauntered up to him with a smug smile. When she reached his shoulder, she shoved him playfully, her façade breaking immediately. She dropped her voice to a whisper. “I’m so happy for you.”

The corner of his mouth lifted in an almost-smile. “Thanks.”

Just then, you opened your door, holding his FBI windbreaker and fully expecting to sneak down the hall to his room. “Aaron, love, you forgot – fuck.”

JJ laughed. “For a pair of profilers, you two really suck at sneaking around.”

Your stomach dropped. “Do the others know?”

“I think Dave has picked up on a few things –“

Aaron shot you a look, but JJ was still looking at you.

“- and I think the rest of them are just hoping you’ll get your shit together.” She shrugged. “I’ll keep it under wraps – I’ve got money on another four months and I intend to rob Emily blind.”

You snorted, but Aaron grabbed your wrist – a warning.

Don’t tell her Dave knows, that touch said.

Just as Aaron predicted, she kept talking. “If you hold out for me, I’ll give you a third.” She raised her eyebrows and extended her hand to you.

“Deal,” you said.

She sighed, chuffed, and almost danced down the hallway. “See you later!”

+++

The ride home was quiet, with almost everyone asleep. Hotch was kicked back in one of the seats, his eyes closed, brow drawn, and arms crossed. You always tried to put yourself where you could see him, without getting too close.

Derek sat beside you, and you thought he was asleep, when –

“Are you gonna tell me what’s goin’ on between you and Hotch?”

You looked at him over your nose. “I don’t know what you’re referring to. You’re gonna have to be more specific.”

He removed his headphones entirely, keeping them around his neck. “Oh come on. You might be able to trick the rest of them, but not me.”

It was true. Derek was the one you had your eye on from the beginning, and Hotch had told you to remain especially vigilant around him.

When you didn’t say anything, Derek continued.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. You’re better at hiding it than he is.”

Your cheeks warmed, and a smile pulled at your lips. “Really?”

He nodded. “Hotch is a sucker when he’s in love. I saw it when I first met Haley, and I see it with you.

“I’ve got money on catching you guys next week, so let’s keep this on the low for now. I will, however, be very impressed if you manage to keep this under wraps much longer than that.” He shrugged. “If JJ wins, I’ll babysit Jack for a night so you guys can go out on a real date.”

You offered your hand, and he shook it once. “You’ve got yourself a deal, Morgan.”

He put his headphones back on, tipped his head back, and closed his eyes.

When you glanced up, Hotch’s eyes were watching, half-lidded. You knew he heard the whole thing. He gave you one of his smiles that wasn’t quite a smile and closed his eyes again.

+++

A few nights later, you all had plans to meet up at Dave’s for dinner. You and Aaron were there a little early and could take a few minutes to relax. You were curled up on the couch at Hotch’s side, his arms wrapped around you to pull you snug to his chest. Dave had a movie on – one of those loud action movies starring some famous bald guy with an iconic one-liner and a bad attitude.

You got so caught up in the movie you didn’t hear Spencer and Penelope arrive. By this point, you were halfway into Aaron’s lap, his cheek against your temple, and your fingers tracing patterns on the hand that rested on your hip.

“Oh. My. God.” Penelope stopped dead in her tracks, snatching Spencer’s sleeve.

At this point, it was just funny. You looked up at Aaron and laughed, tucking further into him. He kissed your forehead and looked up at them over your head.

“Where’d you have your money, Garcia?” He asked.

Penelope shrugged. “I’m out, I had three weeks ago, on the Nevada case.”

“I had a maximum of seven months, based on our last bought of big secret-keeping,” said Spencer. “So I’m out too. We’re going on eight months and five days, now. Emily’s up next, at the nine-to-nine-and-a-half month mark.”

They plopped down on the couch beside you, and you disentangled yourself from Aaron. Penelope glommed on to your arm. “What are we watching?”

+++

The end of the night found Dave, JJ, Derek, You, Aaron, and Penelope outlasting Emily, who graciously offered to drive Spencer home. You and Aaron were cleaning up in the kitchen, visible through the big window, while the rest of the team lounged by the firepit. You sprayed Aaron with water from the sink, and he swatted you with a towel. Very few dishes were actually washed.

They couldn’t hear your laughter, but they saw it written all over your faces.

“So,” Derek started. “Who knew?”

They all shared a look for a moment before bursting into laughter. They realized the game you played was better than the one they thought.

“Who’s the only one who doesn’t?”

JJ smirked into her wine glass. “Oh, that would be Emily.”

Derek offered the neck of his beer bottle, and JJ clinked her glass against it. “How’d you manage that?”

“Nuh-uh. Not a chance. I don’t kiss and tell.” She winked at him.

+++

“Oh, goddamn it, you guys! You couldn’t have done this last month?” Emily threw her hands in the air.

She’d just pulled the kitchen divider curtain on the jet home from an exceedingly long case. When you last checked, everyone was fast asleep. Even then, though, you’d grown more lax in the off-hours – Emily’s bet had long since lapsed, and everyone else (who mattered) knew.

You sat on the counter, with Hotch leaning between your legs. He was making a cup of coffee, seemingly uninhibited by the obstacle of your body. Your phone was in one hand, and the other was resting casually on Aaron’s shoulder, playing with the hair behind his ear.

Aaron stood up straight, his coffee in his hand. With his usual deadpan, he took a sip and said, “Sin to win weekend is coming up, if you’re worried about your account balance.”

There was a snort from behind her, and you belatedly realized her exclamation had woken the rest of the team. JJ was already collecting cash from Dave and Derek. She ruffled Spencer’s hair on her way past him. Derek dialed Penelope, and almost immediately had to take the phone away from his ear to avoid premature deafness.

JJ stood before Emily with one hand on her cocked hip and the other extended palm up, right under Emily’s nose.

Emily scoffed and pulled out her wallet. “You suck.”

+++

Three Months Later

There was a knock on your door, and you smiled to yourself as you signed another document. “Come in.”

The familiar figure sat at the chair across from you, kicking up his feet like he owned the place. You didn’t look up from your work.

“Get your feet off my desk, Hotchner.”

He huffed, but the dress shoes disappeared from the polished surface. They were soon replaced by a pair of elbows and a set of ten laced fingers.

It was nice to be back in CARD. A couple of people from the Critical Response Team had transferred out of the unit, leaving significant gaps in leadership. You were now the Special Agent In Charge for Northeast CARD operations and Deputy Unit Chief – duel positions that kept you mostly chained to your desk unless something went horribly awry.

There was no need for Aaron and you to sneak around anymore, but you missed it a little. A secret was a little exciting – something that was just yours.

But then again, that was the thing about love. It didn’t have to be exciting to make your chest feel too small for all the things you kept inside of it.

You finally looked up from your file, closing it and pushing it off to the side. Warm eyes met you across the desk.

“What can I help you with, Agent Hotchner?” Your tone was crisp and professional, but you reached for his hand, and he took it.

He rolled his eyes. “The team is going out tonight.”

“And?” You raised an eyebrow.

He stood without releasing your hand and rounded your desk, pulling you to your feet. “You’re coming with us.”

“I am?”

A tug and you were pulled flush against him. “Of course.”

“And after?”

“Jack’s with his grandparents for the weekend,” he said.

When you kissed him, you could feel his smile against your lips.

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @octothorpetopus @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @saintd0lce @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @gublergirls

@vintagecaptainspidey @venusbarnesmb @writefasttalkevenfaster (thought this might be up your alley, but let me know i’ve im overstepping at all xo)

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #hotch #tali writes fanfiction

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mimzy-writing-online · 4 years

Text

How To Clean Your Room When You Have ADHD

A huge problem for people with ADHD (or any neuro-divergent condition or physical disability really) is not knowing where to start. You have this big project in front of you and you have no idea what to do first.

This is a guide based on the years of practice I’ve had learning to clean my room even when my mental illness and chronic fatigue is trying to ruin my life (and failing.) These are the steps I take, what helps me best.

This guide is designed to give you a chance to make a large, effective change in your room that positively helps your mental health. You are not expected to be perfect, you are not expected to do everything if it’s outside of your limitations, just do your best (and don’t push yourself too much... but I never listen to that self-advice, oops.)

Most important step: eat breakfast and take your meds. Trust me when I say this will keep you going, both in the energy and focus departments.

Next, try to recruit a friend or family member to help. By help I mean asking them to keep you company and keep you on track. Talking them will help keep you going, and give you someone who can offer an idea or suggestion if your ADHD gets you stuck.

Calling a friend over the phone is a good substitute if you don’t have someone to be in the room with you today.

Music is a good alternative to keep you moving if that’s all that’s available but trust me when I say having another friend with you helps a lot.

Supplies:

Trash bags

Empty hampers

Ideally access to a nearby washing machine and dryer

Micro-fiber clothes

Long duster

Prep:

Open your curtains (ideally) for the vitamin D and focus. Or turn on a lamp with a light quality/intensity you find comfortable.

Strip your bed. Take pillows, blankets, sheets, and pillow cases off.

Washing sheets and pillow cases is mandatory because 1) it’s sooo so nice to go to bed at the end of the day and smell clean sheets, and 2) clean sheets are good for your skin, especially clean pillowcases if you have problems with acne.

Washing blankets, comforters, and duvet covers are optional. You should do it from time to time, but it’s not a priority like sheets and pillow cases. Some comforters and blankets can only be washed under specific conditions, or possibly only when absolutely necessary (because like, you stilled coffee or soda on it or your pet did something rude on your blankets.) Check wash requirements on the tags.

You can still probably ignore it unless you really want to. Again, this is about making a sizable change that positively affects you, not being perfect.

Put your sheets in the washing machine and put the rest of your bedding back on your bed and leave it there until you’re ready to put the sheet back on.

Next is laundry. Pick up every item of clothing off the floor or on nearby furniture. Every item. Even if you think, “I only wore this for a few hours the other day and there are no stains.” Wash them. 1) they smell like your floor, and that’s not a nice smell, and 2) trying to separate cleanish from definitely dirty is pretty demanding on mental focus spoons.

Just shove all those clothes in a hamper. It’s quicker that way. You’re going to wash them after your sheets.

Next clean up all the trash on your floor. Take a trash bag but don’t put in a trash can. You’re going to be dragging it with you while you work from section to section.

Food trash must go.

Packaging and plastic wrap must go.

Old school work can stay if you’re still taking the class or especially proud of that project, but otherwise just toss it. Find a folder or drawer for what’s left and store it away for now.

Start throwing trash on surfaces like desks, nightstands, dressers, and bookcases away.

Do not try to organize the inside of your drawers unless you’re planning to get really thorough. But that’s not today. Today you’re getting the basics done as efficiently as possible so you can feel better in your environment.

Take glasses, plates, mugs, and silverware into the kitchen.

Start working on cleaning up clutter on your desk and nightstand first. Next is dresser and bookcases.

Use the micro-fiber clothes to pick up dust as you go. It keeps it from piling up, does not brush dust into the air, and goes quick this way. Dust tv and/or computer screens.

Pick non trash or clothing items off the floor. Try to find a permanent spot to either store or display it. If you can’t, maybe find a box to put those items in and revisit this problem later.

By now your sheets should be washed. Throw them in the dryer and wash your blankets if you’re ambitious. If not, wash your clothes next.

Take a break and have a snack, drink some water, maybe have a caffeinated drink.

Look at your room and feel proud, but also a little overwhelmed because it’s not done yet, but it’s getting there. Don’t worry. You can do it, I believe in you.

Procrastinate getting back to work. That’s okay. You have an hour before your sheets are clean, now is a good break time. Set an alarm for when your sheets should be dried and do whatever you want.

Alarm goes off, break over.

Dust the corners and tops of your walls to get rid of cobwebs. Having a taller or sighted person if this task is out of your ability (like it is for me on the eyesight front).

One last check for any dust around your bed. Move drinks away from your bed, nightstand and nearby surfaces.

Sigh, feel tired, and go grab your clean, warm sheets. Move your clothes or blankets from the washer to the dryer.

Come back, push all the blankets onto your (mostly?) cleaned up floor. Put the flat sheet on.

Feel tired and collapse on the covered mattress for a moment. You’re doing so good, and you’re almost there.

Make the rest of your bed.

Be very proud of yourself because you got a fucking lot done and I am sooo so fucking proud of you dude.

Optional things you can after this step:

Fold and put away laundry. This is a little concentration heavy. Make sure your friend/family member is nearby to help you stay on task.

I highly recommend Marie Kondo’s folding method personally, saved me a lot of space in my dresser. Developing a set method for folding clothing makes it a lot easier to fold and put away in the future because your subconscious brain learns the motions and can practice them without you having to think too closely on it.

(She has several videos on YouTube, shorter than five minutes mostly, very visual with clear instructions, so it’s ADHD friendly, though not super blind friendly)

Now that your room looks a lot better, try putting those items that didn’t have a set place before. Your brain is probably seeing it like a whole new room and feeling refreshed.

That’s it, you’re definitely done now. Rest and relax.

Turn on your favorite music, start doing your favorite task if you have the spoons, take a nap if you don’t have the spoons. Feel proud of yourself because you did a good fucking job.

It’s like... midnight now, and I’ve been up for two days, (because my ADHD brain was too loud last night to let me sleep. Mood? Mood.) I’m maybe a little too tired to edit this coherently, but you know writing these guides and posting them with minimal editing is so very on brand for my original posts.

Goodnight guys, I am off to bed!

I hope this helps <3 please leave me a comment in the replies or tags because I love going back to see what you guys left on my posts (believe that that I absolutely do this to my How to Write a Blind/Visually Impaired Character guide any time it gets fresh activity.)

Good luck, take care, and goodnight <3

#adhd #actuallyadhd #neuro-divergent #mental health #mental illness #mental health tips #adhd tips #guide #but not of the writing kind #but still important

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cherrybracelets · 4 years

Text

Star Shopping

spencer reid x reader

word count: 1.6k | warnings: alcohol consumption. other than that, no smut, all fluff

song inspo: star shopping by lil peep (i highly recommend listening to this song before or during reading this fic)

Look at the sky tonight, all of the stars have a reason A reason to shine, a reason like mine and I'm fallin' to pieces

masterlist | requests

Seven hours in the car with Dr. Spencer Reid would be most people's worst nightmare. He spewed nonstop facts about every town you drove by, had an undeniable caffeine addiction that made you stop every ten minutes so he could pee and buy another coffee, and had terrible taste in road trip music. Mozart was not who you would’ve picked to pass the time as you drove up I-95.

You were accompanying Spencer to Harvard this weekend, to attend a class as guest lecturers from the BAU. They called Dr. Reid personally, and told him to bring one other profiler of his choice. You weren’t exactly sure why he picked you, you weren’t nearly as close as he was with the others. But he swayed you with compliments about how wonderful of a speaker you were, and how the students would be engrossed with my lecturing skills. You couldn’t say no to him, but you were highly regretting it now as he went on about all the fun facts of White Plains, NY.

“I can’t handle this music anymore, Spence. I feel like I’m at a funeral,” you groaned, staring out the window at the moon, that was now shining high in the sky.

“Fun fact, the most popular road trip song in the US is On the Road Again by Willie Nelson,” Spencer laughed, excitement pouring out of him as he shared his knowledge.

“Wonderful, maybe we can listen to that then?”

“Hmm… no, I don’t like that.”

You rolled your eyes, and curled into a ball on the passenger seat. You continued to stare out the window, watching the world fly by around you. It was a quiet night, few other cars on the road. It was nearing 11PM, and you were still about two hours away from Boston. Spencer was humming along to the music, staring ahead at the empty road. You watched the way the darkness enveloped him, his features prominent in the low light.

“Why are you staring at me?”

“What?” You asked, confused. You had completely zoned out, lost in your own head.

“You were staring right at me!” Spencer laughed, looking over at you and making sure you were okay. He had always thought you were beautiful, especially when you weren’t trying to be. He found himself getting lost in your features, the softness of your lips, the golden aura of radiance surrounding you.

You weren’t paying much attention to the road, staring at your phone in boredom. A sudden jolt of the car and the loud and undeniable sound of a tire popping. Spencer looked shocked and apologetic, his face scrunched in guilt as he put the car in park on the side of the highway. He turned towards you slowly, as you were trying to gather your words without yelling.

“Oops,” he whispered, closing his eyes to prepare for your wrath.

You took a deep breath, calming yourself before speaking. You were known to have a bit of a temper, and you were desperately trying to overcome that personality trait. You looked down at the floor, silently praying to whatever god would listen.

“Is there a spare tire?” You crossed your fingers, a dumb superstition that you did instinctively. You could tell by the long silence before his response that the answer was no.

“Listen, I have Triple A. I’ll call them right now!” He promised, assuring you that everything would be fine.

“We have to be at the college tomorrow morning! We need to get to Boston tonight!” You groaned, putting your face in your hands as you started to feel yourself panic. It was pitch black out, the car was almost out of gas anyways, and it was freezing out. Your stomach turned as you dug your nails into your palms, trying to ground yourself.

“Okay, I’ll call Hotch and see if he can pull a few strings.” Spencer said quietly, immediately noticing your shift in mood. He stepped out of the car to call Hotch, hoping that a few minutes of silence would calm you down.

He was right, of course. You felt better after only 60 seconds of quiet, your heart rate slowing down and your breathing returning back to it’s normal pace. You could hear Spencer mumbling faintly on the phone, unable to make out any of his words.

You looked around and realized the severity of the situation, stranded on an empty road in the middle of the night. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, your hand reaching for your gun to make sure it was still in your place.

“Alright, I have some good news and bad news. What would you like first?” Spencer said awkwardly, avoiding eye contact as he got back in the car. You saw his gun on his hip, making you feel even safer knowing he could protect you, too.

“Good news, I guess.”

“Hotch is calling a tow truck who will bring us to Boston. They’ll fix the car in the morning and another car will pick us up to bring us to campus.”

“All of that sounds pretty good, what is the bad news?” You groaned, hoping it was something small enough to not cause another panic attack.

“The tow truck is coming from Boston so… we’re stuck here for about two hours…”

“Oh, god damn it Spence!” You threw your head back on the seat, sighing loudly as you stared up at the ceiling of the car.

“No worries though, we’ll make it fun. I have a few bottles of wine in the back. They were gifts for the professors but… fuck it.” Spencer got out of the car and walked to the trunk, opening it. He searched through the bags, rummaging around loudly and for what seemed like way too long. Finally he found what he was looking for, zipping up the bags and closing the trunk.

“Come out here! The stars look amazing!” He opened up your door and you walked out, leaning against the side of the car and staring at the sky.

“Isn’t it so clear out here?” He asked, opening up a bottle of cheap red wine and taking a swig. He handed you the bottle, and you grabbed it excitedly, downing multiple gulps in hopes that the alcohol would calm you down.

“It’s pretty beautiful,” you whispered, staring mesmerized into the night sky, each star it’s own shining life force in the otherwise black sky.

“Look at that, right there,” he whispered, getting close to you and pointing up at an exceptionally large and bright star in the sky. His face was almost touching yours, the warmth of his body drawing you in.

“What is it?”

“Venus. Isn’t that cool? A whole planet, right there for us to see.”

“Why does it glow like a star if it’s a planet? Like, stars are on fire, right? So that’s why they glow. Why do planets glow?”

“Ah, well actually, planets are reflecting the light of stars.” Spencer looked down at you, smiling as he shared his knowledge. There was nothing he loved more than somebody actually listening to his facts.

He continued to point out planets and stars, showing you constellations. The two of you even found a shooting star, the alcohol causing you to giggle as you both made funny wishes.

“I wish for… bigger boobs,” you giggled, grabbing your breasts and frowning. Spencer took another long swig in wine, shaking the bottle around as he realized it was almost empty.

“I wish for more wine… and bigger boobs,” he laughed, taking the final swig from the bottle and throwing it on the ground.

“Jeez, Spence, be careful,” you laughed, stepping away from the shattered glass. You got closer to Spencer, your body clumsily bumping into his as you backed away from the bottle.

“Oh, sorry,” you mumbled, turning around and facing him directly. You were inches from each other, the smell of wine hanging strongly in the air.

“Hmm…” he mumbled, tilting his head slightly as he stared down at you.

“What?”

“I think you have really nice boobs.” He stared at your cleavage for a few more seconds, before looking back up to your face. He smiled goofily at you, his eyes glossy and cheeks red as the alcohol flushed through him.

“That is extremely inappropriate, Dr. Reid,” you giggled, his eyes still locked on your chest.

“Sorry…” he muttered, stumbling awkwardly away from you.

“No, no, it’s okay. I just didn’t realize you looked at me like that, I guess.”

“Are you kidding? I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”

“You’re joking,” you laughed, shaking your head in amusement, convincing yourself there was no way someone like him could ever be interested in someone like you.

“I mean, I am a little drunk, but I still know how I feel.”

“How do you feel, Spencer?”

“Like I’d like to ask you on a date.”

“Is this not a date already? I mean, we split a bottle of wine, we’re staring at the stars… seems a little romantic.” You smiled up at Spencer, happiness flooding you as you looked at the way the moonlight reflected in his eyes.

“Okay, fine. I’d like to ask you on a second date.”

“Spencer Reid- I would love to go on a second date with you.”

“But, you know, I kind of have a first date routine, and we haven’t really stuck with it.”

“Well, what’s in the routine?”

“This…” he whispered, walking towards you and taking your face in his hands, kissing you passionately under the stars. The sweet taste of Pinot Noir clung to your lips, sloppy drunk kisses and giggles exchanging between you.

“Oh, I guess now is a good time to tell you the hotel we’re staying at only has one-bed rooms available,” Spencer giggled, getting out his words between kisses.

“Oh, damn. What are we gonna do about that?”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid one shot #criminal minds #mgg #matthew gray gubler #dr spencer reid

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reiraland · 3 years

Text

Eric - Happy (belated) birthday

Finally I finished the fanfic for Eric’s birthday! It took me way more time than I had expected, but better later than never, right? hehe. I planned to write a fic between 500-700 words, but ended up writing 2600+ words. my love for Eric is unquenchable

I’m thristy for more Eric’s content. I wish Beemoov added him in the future events or release a spinoff. Beemoov, just take my money

I would have liked to write also an Eric’s POV, but recently my work schedule is hectic. I might try, but it’ll take a while.

I apologize in advance for any typo or grammar mistake.

Happy Birthday, Eric! (04.26) Shaken off from my slumber by the emanating vibrations from my smartwatch, I lazily opened my eyes. The world was still dark outside. After turning off the alarm, my heart filled up with joy as soon as I laid my eyes on my beloved. By his rhythmic breath, I could tell Eric was still sound asleep. Reaching out my hand, I caressed his disheveled black hair and gently ran my fingers along his jaw as my heart beat firmly with ecstasy.

“God, he’s so attractive…” I murmured to myself.

Nothing could bring me more bliss than staying a few more minutes in our heavenly nest, but today I had an important task. For the past two weeks, I had been mulling over the ideal way to celebrate his birthday. Although I wished we could go on a trip together, he was currently busy with a new case, plus my schedule was tight too; having several auctions planned for the next three months consumed most of my time. In the end, I made a reservation at a trendy, popular restaurant, and since neither of us could take the day off from work and I wouldn’t see him until the closing time of the café, for starters, I decided to surprise him with a special breakfast.

“Come on. No time to waste!”

After slipping out of the bed stealthily, I hurriedly took a shower and got dressed as quick as a flash. When my phone buzzed twice, I went outside, racing down the stairs all the way out to the street where Hyun was waiting for me with a small box in his hands.

“Thank you very much for delivering it so early in the morning and especially for putting up with me for the last week! I am aware I have been fussy about the flavour… verging on nitpicking.” I said apologetically.

“Please, don’t mention it. What are friends for? Also, you’re one of my favourite customers, I can’t let you down,” he responded with a smile, “and don’t concern yourself about the flavour anymore, I’m positive Eric will be delighted. I’ll be looking forward to your feedback.” He added cordially before waving goodbye.

Back at the apartment, I heard the shower water running, and immediately got anxious. I had less time than originally planned.

“I hope I can wrap everything up just on time,” I sighed nervously.

I conscientiously got down to work with the breakfast preparations. While brewing a new type of coffee I had specifically ordered from one of Cosy Bear Café’s suppliers, I set the table and sliced the cake into equal pieces. I clasped both of my hands together happily after getting everything ready. The fragrance of freshly brewed coffee wafting through the air reassured me since it reminded me so much of Eric’s embrace.

The sound of footsteps brought me back to reality. Eric was leaning against the door frame, gazing groggily at me with his golden eyes. As he covered his mouth with one hand to hide a yawn, he put his wet hair back with the other one. The mere sight of him took my breath away.

“Morning…” His voice was still low and rough.

“Good morning! Just in time! Breakfast is ready! Summoned by the coffee’s scent, right?” I asked jokingly.

Eric’s eyes twinkled with amusement. He walked over to me, leaning down on my face until his lips found mine. A pleasant feeling unfurled in my stomach as I kissed him back with adoration.

“What can I say? A great day starts with a cup of coffee...” he trailed off suddenly, “but you know what?” He enquired conspiratorially, giving me a playful smirk.

“What?” I whispered back mischievously.

“A day without you is always incomplete, nothing could fill the void of your absence”.

“Not even the finest coffee?” I attempted to wear a blank expression, but my tone gave me away.

The corner of his mouth quirked up before shaking his head in denial, staring deeply into my eyes as he replied with more amorous words. My heart began to pound like a drum and I was certain my cheeks were blushing furiously as if to mirror his flushed face.

“Definitely, you are turning into more and more a romantic every day… a hopeless romantic like myself … I’m absolutely in love with you.” I stated softly, swallowing down the emotion that comes with my words, suppressing tears of happiness that threatened to fall down from the corner of my eye.

A few seconds later, Eric held me in his strong arms and rested his forehead against mine, letting out a contented sigh when I hugged him back. Lost in each other's eyes, time seemed to have slowed down. The closeness between us felt so natural, like it was meant to be. However, reluctantly, I pulled myself away from his warmth, he raised an eyebrow in response.

“If we don’t hurry up, coffee will get cold and we won’t be able to have breakfast without rushing” I explained. “Today’s menu is a bit particular. Sir, I hope you find it to your liking. By the way, Happy Birthday!” I spoke teasingly.

Eric’s eyes showed a hint of surprise for a brief moment, then he grinned from ear to ear, while squeezing my fingers gently. I summarized quickly about the coffee and the cake, he listened to me attentively as always. I watched him restlessly, as he brought the mug to his lips and tasted the pastry. Relief washed all over me after he nodded approvingly, flashing an encouraging smile. That peaceful moment was engraved in our memory, it might have been just an ordinary breakfast for others, but for us, it meant a great deal. When we finished eating, we cleared the table and as I was about to wash the dishes, he stopped me with a hand up.

“You prepared breakfast, it’s only fair I’ll do the dishes.” He said warmly, not letting me a chance to protest.

At first, I just observed him while he was focused on the task at hand, but then, I tiptoed closer and circled my arms around him from behind, burying my head in his back. Inhaling deeply, his scent infused my soul with tranquility and comfort.

As soon I noticed Eric was done with the chore, I took a step away from him. At the same, Eric turned around, and without a warning, lifted me up, slowly spinning me around until we reached the living room. He tenderly laid me down onto the couch as we locked eyes. He looked extremely amused, just like a child plotting mischief. The next thing I knew is he relentlessly tickled my ribs as I burst into giggles. The sound of our laughter echoed through the room.

I wanted that moment to last forever, but duty called. As his silver watch catched my eye, I furrowed my brows.

“Eric, we need to start moving now… I don’t feel like leaving, but look at time…”, I pouted.

“Time really flies when we are together, right? You know… we can stay a bit longer, if you will.”

“But If we don’t leave now, we’ll be stuck in a traffic jam and neither of us will be on time for work”.

“If we turn the siren on, a traffic jam won’t be an obstacle.” He pointed at, letting out a small, low chuckle. I couldn’t refrain myself from tittering at his statement.

“The siren is only for special occasions. If we used it regularly, you might get caught by one of your fellow police officers. And then what?” I dismissed his suggestion with a playful tone.

“You promised to visit me in prison, wouldn’t you honor your vow?” He replied in the same way.

“Needless to say, I would. However, I’d rather have you with me every day. I think you’ll agree with me.”

“I can’t argue with your reasoning.”

He made as if to rise up from the couch, but promptly sank himself back, showering my cheeks, my forehead, my lips and neck with light kisses. I giggled merrily.

“Just one more minute, please.” He pleaded in between kisses.

I silently agreed, enjoying every second of the sweetness of his love.

-----------------

For the rest of the day I was in high spirits, despite being a busy one. I had a meeting with a supplier and had lunch with Yael to address some remaining minor issues regarding our upcoming exhibition. I also passed by Leight’s shop to pick up my outfit for that night. I had purchased it last week, but Leigh had insisted on adding a few details on the sleeves.

Eric arrived at the café past the closing time. After greeting me with a kiss and complimented my dress, he started to carry the tables and chairs from the terrace to inside the café, while we had our usual conversations.

“How was your day? Complicated?”

“Kind of, but now that business is successful, I refuse to complain about having a pile of work. When I remember last year … I was about to be forced to shut down the Cosy Bear.” I shuddered in cold sweat.

Eric put a hand on my shoulder and affectionately kissed my temple as I closed my eyes, indulging myself with his display of tenderness.

------------------

As soon as we stepped into the restaurant, the waiter greeted us politely and led us to our table.

“This place is highly recommended, not only for its tasteful dishes and its amazing presentations, but also because of reasonably priced food. I must add, I find the decor magnificent.” I said, offering him a smile and he did the same in return.

“I was just flipping through a magazine when I spotted a review about this place. They’re usually overbooked, but Yael happens to know the manager, so I was able to get a reservation for tonight.” I commented joyfully.

“This is my best birthday since I was a child. I’m grateful to you for putting so much thought and effort, I know you did.” He remarked knowingly.

“You seriously need to stop playing the mentalist card.” I sighed in defeat. “I did research trendy restaurants, it took me a while to find a few of my liking. Yael’s help did come in handy for getting a reserve here, though.”

“You are adorable. I love you.” He murmured tenderly.

Soon enough, our meal was brought to the table. Before I knew it, Eric had already emptied his plate. He looked away sheepishly, it was so cute that I found myself smiling widely.

“It was thoughtless of me...” he attempted to sputter an excuse.

“The way you gobbled up all that food, one would think you haven’t eaten for days.” I remarked pretending to sound casual, then I winked at him. He let out a throaty laugh in response.

“Today it was hectic at work. Showing the new recruits the ropes was more strenuous than usual. Moreover, the investigation about you-know-what case is no longer stuck. I wish I could give you more details... Well, the fact is we made quite considerable progress. And in the end, I barely had time for lunch.”

“You mean you skipped lunch, don’t you?” I pointed out with concern.

“It’s not like I was on an empty stomach... I had a snack-” he stammered.

“Eric…” I cut him off in a flat tone.

His face shadowed while he looked sideways, scratching the back of his head.

“Eric, I need you to take care of yourself properly. Just going to the gym regularly won’t keep you healthy. Skipping meals is a bad idea, a terrible one, in fact. Don’t underestimate its negative effects. Eric, I want to stay with you until we're grey and old. So, please, promise me you will be more careful in the future.”

“Umm… sure… right… I mean, I’ll try to avoid skipping meals… umm…” He responded to me, almost stuttering.

His face turned as red as a beetroot. It took me a moment to realize why.

“It did sound like a proposal, didn’t it?” I thought bashfully, finger tapping on the table.

Eric reached his hand over the table to touch mine while he spoke to me, while looking into my eyes.

“I don't see myself living without you either. I swear to you I won’t lose sight of the most important.” He swallowed, and continued, “I’ve been doing some thinking. How about going on a trip the following weekend after the last auction is planned for the last week of June? How does that sound? I bumped into Yael a few days ago and had a little chat about an opening in your schedule. I thought it’d be a good idea to set the trip for that date as you’d be less packed with work. You’ll definitely need a break, it will do you good.”

“But what about your work? What if--?”

“I had a conversation with the chief to let him know in advance that weekend I would be out of the radar. He was quite understandable. Well, you haven’t given me an answer yet.”

“Haven’t you already guessed it? I thought body language was your thing.” I tried to sound teasing, but I just ended up giggling.

The grip of his hand slightly tightened on mine, before he leaned over to kiss the back of my hand. I got up from my seat and ran to hug him without letting go of his hand. That drew the attention of other customers, but even if I felt sheepish, I focused on Eric.

“I'll take that as a "yes", then”. He hummed jovially, “we just need to decide where we want to go.”

For a moment I was a little taken aback because I had just assumed he had already decided on his own, but Eric wasn’t that kind of partner. He always treasured my opinions. His thoughtfulness was like those peaceful waves on the ocean, as soothing as calming.

“Planning the trip together will be twice the fun.” He affirmed.

I agreed with a nod, my smile didn’t leave my face for the rest of the evening.

After having a great dinner, we headed back to our apartment.

----------------

[The following scene is kind of steamy. Just warning!]

The moment we reached the bedroom, we practically collapsed onto the bed. Entirely eager for one another, impatiently getting rid of our clothes as if they were on fire. We lost ourselves in waves of ecstasy, forgetting the entire world. His hands slid down my body, claiming every part of me with his touch, making their way to my most sensitive spots. I didn’t even bother trying to suppress my moans. I didn’t remain passive either, I devoured him with reverent hunger. As growls of desire escaped his lips, I felt proudly satisfied.

Breathless from the intensity poured out between our lips, still unwilling to release the other one, not even for a second.

When both of us came together, flames of heated fervor clenched inside me. Caught up in the rhythm of his body against mine, relishing that sensation while I realized every one of his movements matched mine, we were in complete sync.

“I can’t get enough of you.” His voice, ragged with lust.

I couldn’t even manage a reply, I just dug my nails into his back, pulling him closer, feverishly urging him to continue.

Finally, glistened with sweat and gasping for air, we collapsed into each other's arms, both exhausted but elated. Snuggled together, in no time we surrendered to the realm of dreams.

My last thoughts before dozing off were dedicated to the wonderful man next to me. Eric had shown me such deep, earnest love that swept over me, marking a before and after in my life. What could possibly be better than that?

#my candy love eric #mcl eric #my candy love #amour sucre #beemoov

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doingitforbokuto · 4 years

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hello there! i understand if you want to decline this request but i was wondering if you could write hcs for kita helping his s/o who has a restrictive eating disorder and a lot of insecurities ? i hope you have a lovely day <3

I really hope that you‘re doing okay! I know it may not be available for you but I highly recommend therapy when you are ready for it - it‘s nothing to be ashamed of. Either way, if you want or need to talk, you can always slide into my dms or my inbox plus there are a lot of hotlines that are willing to help!

Maybe this will help you a little ♡ I hope that you can at least relate to it a little, I tried basing it off my own experience so it may be subjective

Kita with a s/o with a restrictive eating disorder

Kita notices you cutting out food

whether you start doing it over the course of your relationship or you have already been doing it before, he notices

at first, he thinks it‘s just an unhealthy diet

especially if he sees you reading labels or cutting out certain foods he believes his suspicion to be confirmed

he tells you that this kind of diet isn‘t good and that you shouldn‘t worry about your weight, the only important thing is that you‘re healthy - besides the fact that he does think you‘re beautiful

when nothing changes and this goes on for a while is when he starts getting worried

he catches up on all of the small things that you might do

excessively checking your body, hiding under oversized clothes, still eating too little, the negative remarks about yourself, the excuses you give him as to why you‘re not hungry today

he doesn‘t get it, he really doesn‘t

what could be the problem? he tells you that he loves you and what he likes about you, the he thinks you‘re beautiful - why do you feel any differently?

he doesn‘t know what is going on and he doesn‘t know how to make you feel better

which is the worst situation for him - he is a problem solver, he takes on challenges as they present themselves only this time, it doesn‘t present itself, it is trying to hide from him

at last he decides that looking it up on the internet moght help

after all, there are probably a lot of people doing weird diets and a lot of ways to get out of it

when he sees the first article about eating disorders pop up his heart drops

this wasn‘t something he had considered. this wasn‘t something he even wanted to consider.

but if he wanted to find out what was going on with you, he had to look into all possibilities

after doing some research, he realised that this was probably the thing you were dealing with right now

at first, he is a little in denial

but as he observes you it slowly sinks in that the signs are all there

the night he finally accepts is he cries - he just feels so helpless

though he has read up on what to do in case his suspicions would be confirmed he still doesn‘t exactly know what to do. and he knows that he can‘t heal you, he can‘t make it go away

he wants to tell you to eat but he knows that it‘s not that easy, which only makes it harder for him. he wants it to be easy. he wants to be able to solve this problem and he wants to be able to solve it now. he doesn‘t want you to have to go through this one more day.

but since he can‘t just help you like this, he tries talking to you

he looks for the right time, the right place. it isn‘t often that his words get stuck in his throat, but they do now

it takes him three days to finally say it

“I‘m worried about you.“

he put all the words together beforehand, practiced in his head but now that the words are actually coming out of his mouth he isn‘t sure if they come out right

Kita tries telling you that he loves you, that he is worried about you and that he wants to feel better because you deserve to feel better, that he will do whatever he needs to help and support you, he just wants you to get better

he is prepared to face rejection and denial

the amount of times he told you that he loves you that night might exceed the times he has said it in your entire relationship

the last thing he wants to do is make you feel even worse for worrying him, he wants you to know that you‘re not a burden to him

he just wants you to get better

you‘re both exhausted afterwards, just laying in bed, holding each other, letting your tears dry a little

Kita definitely encourages you to go to a therapist and/or a doctor

it‘s really hard for him not to pressure you into it

he wants to solve this problem right away but he knows that you might need some time

so at first, he just puts it out there, offering to pay for it if you can‘t, just letting you know that it‘s an option and that it is probably the best idea, that he will support you every step of the way

and he does

he does everything that professionals tell him to do or not to do, he avoids talking about calories or about food and weight in a negative way

if you have any special accomodations he will adapt to them as quickly as possible

if you are up to it, he starts cooking and baking with you

you don‘t have to eat the food if you don‘t want to but he wants you to have fun, to have a positive connection to food

he jokes around with you, tries out new stuff, decorates cakes and pies and muffins with you

anything that would make you smile

it may be hard on him but he is so so happy to see you get help - even if there are set backs here and there, even if the road may be rocky, he knows that it is worth it, that you are worth it

#kita #request #cw: eating disorder #cw: mental health #kita shinsuke #kita x you #kita x reader #kita shinsuke x you #kita shinsuke x reader #kita shinsuke hcs #kita hcs #kita headcanons #kita shinsuke headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs

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bookaddict24-7 · 3 years

Photo

I said at the beginning of the year that I would share my reviews more on my blog instead of just on Instagram and Goodreads. I’ve been reading a lot so far this year, so my reviews will be delayed on here.

Friend me on Goodreads here to read my reviews in real-time!

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107. Amari and the Night Brothers by B.B. Alston--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wow, this book had more of a punch than I anticipated! I think books like this one are super important--not just because of the content, but because of the audience it's geared towards. Young readers now are learning more and more about society than a lot of us did at their age, so I think it's perfectly fitting that a book like this one is out there for kids to devour. One of the things I liked the most about this book was the allegory of racism in a magical community. Usually in fantastical novels for kids (older ones, anyway), there's this belief that no matter what you look like, the moment you go to another magical place all of your worries about racism goes away because MAGIC. But in this one, not only did our MC have to contend with the racism in her normal life, she had to face more racism in her new life, just with a new title. So many of the actions taken against her by those around her, and the comments (like putting her brother on a pedestal because he was the star of the school and calling him the exception to the rule, or one girl actively telling her that "You can take the girl out of the ghetto, but not the ghetto out of the girl) really made me think that this poor kid went from one ignorant situation to another. Not only is she trying to find her brother and solve the mystery of his disappearance, but she also has to deal with racist and ignorant people around her. Imagine calling a child evil because of something they can't control. Imagine going out of your way to ensure that they fail. Imagine you or your child hearing the things this child heard while trying to just do her best in a system that's always been made to be against her, both in the human world and in the magic world. Imagine, imagine, imagine. Another thing I loved about this book was her resilience. She is brave, and smart, and has such a big future in this new world of hers. I'm so excited to read the rest of this series as it comes out. This book was POWERFUL and I highly recommend it. Not just for the young readers in your life, but I think parents and other readers would highly benefit from reading Amari's story.

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108. Mindy Kim & the Yummy Seaweed Business by Lyla Lee--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Okay, this book was ADORABLE. I haven’t read a 6-8 book in a long time and I’m thankful to my friend on Instagram who recommended these books! Mindy has to deal with not only her grief about losing her mom and her dad’s busy schedule (as well as his own grief), but she’s also at a new school in a new State where she is the only Asian student. I’ve mentioned this in some of my most recent reviews, but I love that these important topics are being discussed in children’s books. We see moments of racism in this book where Mindy is left upset, even if she doesn’t fully understand just why certain comments and actions are so hurtful. And even if she doesn’t dwell on it, a parent reading this with their little one would notice and hopefully learn if they see their own behaviours mirrored in the actions of some of these adults. But we also see moments of kindness and love as a young girl tries her best to find ways to make her dad happy. Despite the heavier undertones in this book, there was an overall feel of sweetness and childhood innocence. The ability to apologize when you know you’re in the wrong, the innocence of emotions getting away from you, and the sweetness of a daughter loving her father. This was a great read and I highly recommend it for everyone, but especially the little ones in your life who will be entering situations where books like these and their lessons are really important.

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109. The Dead Zone by Stephen King--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This one, I felt, held more of an emotional punch rather than a creepy feeling. I really enjoyed it! I loved the psychic angle and the MC proving the people who didn’t believe him or mocked wrong. Also, this was a King book that actually made me want to cry at the end. I didn’t give it a 5 because of some really slow moments. While I love that his stories always have a way of coming together at the end, certain scenes sometimes feel long, boring, or confusing. I’d recommend this for anyone who wants to read a King book that isn’t scary and if you’re a fan of 11/22/63!

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110. Takane & Hana Vol. 1 by Yuki Shiwasu--⭐️⭐️⭐️

This one took me a while to read. I found that I wasn’t really in the mood to read it every time I picked it up—which is so different from when I pick up a manga I really want to read. The story had some funny bits and the artwork was gorgeous, but it really bugged me how every new chapter re-introduced the love interest. Over and over and over again. I get it: he’s rich, arrogant, and an asshole. Can’t you trust us to remember these key personality traits? But it wasn’t even just that. We were constantly re-introduced to the premise of the story. I don’t know how common this is WITHIN the same volume, but I haven’t encountered it yet—and if I have, it wasn’t as annoying as this one. I’ll keep reading the story because I’m curious, but this first volume was a bit of a rougher read for me.

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111. You Have A Match by Emma Lord--⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

I think the thing with this book is that the cover tells a different story than what really matters in this book. Yes, there’s a friends to more relationship in this, but the main storyline is about two girls who find out they’re sisters and are trying to solve that mystery. This isn’t a romcom—the romance is a super side story to the main storyline. And to be honest, I really enjoyed it. I wanted to see why these two sisters lived their whole life separated. I enjoyed the process and the friendships created along the way. I felt for the parents, but at the same time, I felt more for the girls. There were instances where I wanted to yell at the parents because they kept putting the reveal off. This was enjoyable overall—a great summer read. Not particularly memorable, but it does what it sets out to do: makes you question the strength of friendships and what they can overcome. Also, Instagram.

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112. Patron Saints of Nothing by Randy Ribay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

When my friend raved about this book I was both excited and intimidated. I usually try to avoid hypes surrounding books because I go in with too-high expectations and a lot of the time, the expectations crush me while I’m reading. Thankfully, the hype is very well-deserved with this one. For me, the most important aspect of this book that stuck with me wasn’t the mystery surrounding the MC’s cousin’s death, but the character growth the MC himself experiences during the time of his investigation. Identity sounds like a pretty clear cut thing sometimes, but it’s a lot harder to know your own when you’re the child of an immigrant family. You live in a new country, get accustomed to new expectations and customs, and inevitably feel a culture shock when you’re re-introduced to the culture your parents grew up in. I saw myself so much in this MC. From my childhood to my current adult years, people have thought that they could define me and who I am simply because I say I’m this or this. But while others make a quick judgment, they don’t see the internal struggle. They don’t see you questioning yourself on whether you’re enough of this, or whether you’re enough of that. I think teenage me would have loved this book even more. The MC is constantly faced with criticism about his father choosing to move them to the States from the Philippines. The judgments and the preconceived notions of him and his family make him not only weary because he recalls how his uncle treated his father the first time he visited, but also wary because it sets him down this road of self-reflection. I haven’t read many (if any, unfortunately) books where a character goes to the Philippines. I’m so thankful to this book. I learned so much about the culture, the foods, and the struggles faced not just financially, but politically as well. I remember reading about some of the topics brought up in this book and it was extremely eye-opening. It’s so easy for us to look away because we have that privilege, but this book says, “No, look at me. I exist.” The MC, in his journey, also learns to speak up and use his voice. Not just against ignorant friends, but an annoyingly smug and verbally abusive uncle (who I hated to all hell). He also learns to listen. He learns that though not every story is perfect, they still have power. I think this is a great read for those who have one foot in two different worlds (hands and arms can be in other worlds, too). Especially if you’re trying to understand this part of you that wasn’t developed as you grew up. I’d also recommend it to readers who want to learn more about this struggle, learn more about a different culture that is more than its stereotypes, and/or want to read about a young teenager trying to come to terms with his grief and guilt.

___ Have you read any of these books? Would you recommend them?

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Happy reading!

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