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torashisama · 6 months

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WoT about: "The writers keep giving time to plots that aren't bad, but do nothing to actually serve the story".

Disclaimer : As always, it's long.

Alll of these comments are from a discussion I had with a book reader in the comments of a post on S3E01 being written by S1E06 and S2E07 writer: Justine Juel Gillmer. Basically, the original poster was celebrating more Siuan (however it might be) and/or a possible Siuanraine reunion in S3.

Book Reader 1:

In a story about the potential end of all things, I can't honestly say that I care about Suianraine. Side romance plots are fine, but they're not what WoT is really about. I hope they give a little ship time to those who are craving it, but they really need to work on the Nerf Reborn. He's way weaker in the show than he is in the books. We need a Rocky montage to put the Dragon back on track.

Book reader 2 :

One of my biggest issues with this show. The writers keep giving time to plots that aren't *bad*, but do nothing to actually serve the story.

Moiraines family scenes? Well written and acted, but that's 30-40 minutes that we could have had in Falme, or building up the Horn, or generally building the legend of the dragon.

Book reader 1 :

Yep. The show wastes precious time on things which aren't central to the plot.

Torashi :

That mostly has to do with the fact that the show is not about Rand but about Moiraine and specifically about Moiraine's Quest which is something that most book readers seems to have overlooked and that's the most important and fundamental change from the books yet it's overlooked when it comes to understanding how and why everything plays out the way it does.

If we had to choose a character and declare them the main one for the show, it would be Moiraine. That's the main difference that explains most of the complaints bookcloaks and book readers may have with the show.

The books are about Rand. Here, it's about "Moiraine's Quest", and it gives the show more room to explore the characters deemed as side characters and one of the most interesting group of people in this universe in my opinion: Aes Sedai's and their warders.

Both are telling the same story but not from the same POV, and that changes a bunch of things and it includes what gets showed or not.

Book reader 1 :

I certainly didn't overlook that the show is focused on Mo. That is the biggest problem, as you say (pre post edit: I did not say that the the Mo focus was a problem, never had actually) . Book Mo isn't anywhere near a main character after TEOTW, so it's a very questionable decision to promote her to a main, outside of real world "politics". Pike is the most recognized actress **and** she's a producer.

While I get that non-readers don't mind it, I and millions of other readers waited 39 years for the books to be turned into a show.

We weren't waiting on Siuan and Moiraine.

Torashi:

I'm not saying that you're overlooking this but that those who did read the books tends to do so and fail to realise( pre post edit: or recognise really) that the things they're complaining about usually makes sense as Rand is not the main character anymore.

The pov's are mostly Moiraine's, and while it's different from the books, it doesn't mean that it's not good. The story is just told differently, and a lot of you guys fail to realise that while it's not what you hoped for, you at least get to experience the same story told another way and in the same world you grew up loving but on screen.

I understand that it's disappointing as it's probably not what you guys imagined and expected the show would be if you ever got to see it, but Rand, as the main character, probably wouldn't have worked as needed exactly because it's been so long since the books.

The classic hero trope is not as appealing as it used to be for TV, and switching the focus and putting it onto the Gandalfs of the WoT world probably was better so it ended up as the Moiraine's Quest show and not as the Randland show. It's also probably because it's usually better if most actors in a fantasy show are unknown so that their reputation and previous roles do not taint the ones they'll have in the show.

( pre post edit : in case some people don't get why I'm comparing them, it's to emphasise that all of these fantasy shows have 1 or 2 of their main cast and characters as the biggest stars so that they don't have to rely only on the existing fandom but can also count on their main celebrity to bring a wider audience (advertising aside) which allows for the rest of the cast to be lesser known or straight-up debuting and/or unknown actors)

For ex, Matt Smith and Paddy Considine probably are the most recognisable actors of HOTD (HBO) and they're brothers in the show and have a close relationship ( in case you didn't see it, Matt is Daemon and Paddy is King Viserys)

WoT (Prime) has Rosamund Pike and Sophie Okonedo as their biggest star, and they have a close relationship.

(Fun fact : Sophie wasn't even supposed to be in the show and probably wouldn't have accepted if she was offered the part but Rosamund specifically wanted her to play her love interest and Sophie had to be written to personally by Ros so that she would accept the role ( anyone who knows or follows Sophie's work knows that her playing Siuan was as probable as a WoT + GoT crossover episode) )

The Witcher( Netflix) they really just needed Henry Cavill as he actually is a mainstream celebrity and was at the prime of his career when he took the role.

Good Omens (Prime) : David Tennant and Micheal Sheen, they lead and are close. ( they really could have been fine with David here. Actually, he probably has one of the most dedicated fan base I've seen because of his performance as the doctor ) ( they also have benedict cumberbatch but I'm sticking to mains biggest star + they're closest relationships )

Carnival Row (Prime and original so a lil different): Cara delevigne and Orlando Bloom, biggest stars + close relationship.

Good Omens is focused on the gandalfs ( Crowley & Aziraphale) again btw and it's one of amazon most successful adaptations.

The Witcher is also focused on the Gandalfs of their world: Geralt & Yennefer (by extension)

WoT switched it to be the same : Moiraine & Siuan (by extension).

What i'm saying is that basically most of the complaints are related to missing things from the books, the cast diversity, things people wish they could have seen or wishing Josha's (pre post edit :Rand) or Daniel's (pre post edit : Lan) characters where depicted as in the books or it's blaming the show (pre post edit: or really mainly and mostly Rafe and sometimes the rest of the writers) for spending time on things that actually makes sense when you recenter yourself in what the show is actually doing which is telling the story from Moiraine's POVs.

Siuan is important so she gets time, Lan is important so he gets time (pre post edit : mainly referencing the Aes sedai + Warder focused episodes of S1, from Ep4/5 to Ep6).

Liandrin is a problem and has a grudge against Mo that leads her to be a threat not only because she's a red and black ajah but also because of an ulterior reason so she gets time and is developed, Moiraine is pushing everyone away even the only 2 people she could allow herself to be close to during her mission because of her depression and allow herself no other choice but to go to Cairhien alone which happens to be her hometown so we get a family reunion and see how much her quest for Rand impacted her and her family too and how unusual it is even for an Aes sedai( Alanna's scenes with her family).

The main problem isn't that the story is being told through Moiraine's POV but that they only get 8 episodes of approximately 1 hour each to tell a story that required 14 books to finish, they clearly need more or longer episodes per season to include more of what they initially intended to put in each season. ( pre post edit : in case you didn't know Lan was supposed to start training the boys from s1. you can check here )

For reference, GOT had 10 episodes for each season until S7 for 8 season out of 10 initially planned, each episode falling anywhere between 1h and 1h22 max, and it's only 5 books out on 7 planned.

There, we have 8 episodes falling anywhere between 54 minutes to 1h10 min max each, planned to have 8 seasons for 14 books.

(Pre post edit : so far, and yes i went to check the longest ep so far was 1h10 min and it's s2 finale in case you were wondering)

Original poster reaction :

OMG!!! I wish I could give you gold for this comment. I am getting tired of when I post something about the show, instead of people focusing on the show, they wanna bring the "but but but the books did this and that and it is nowhere to be found on the show", like I don't care, let's focus on what's happening in the show and can we only talk about that? You should make another main post pointing this out and that for the sake of productive conversations, this sub should stop complaining about what isn't on the show from the books and more on what we actually get, if it works or not let's stick to that!

Torashi :

I understand, but I totally get their reaction, too. It's been so long for them that it's probably hard to accept anything else than what they expected or wished they had.

(pre post edit :

While i do understand the frustration, i do not understand why you think it makes it fine to ruin (or tarnish) the experience of genuine show only fans by complaining and shitting on the show for missing things or not doing it the way you wanted it to be instead of going:

"That's cool i wish they had room for this or that, in the books there's this or that and whatever, you should check the books."

"The story is so much more richer even though the focus is not on the guide in the books. It could be interesting for you to see it from another PoV too"

You'd actually make show-only fans want to read the books. You guys have been tainted by so much display of lack of respect and gratitude towards those making and/or enjoying the show that I think that you're actually deterring show only fans from the books by dividing the fandom as much as S8 divided GOT fans and by making people afraid to read them before the show ends because of how ugly your reactions are and have been. (You guys are literally associated to Whitecloacks).)

Torashi:

What's infuriating me, though, is that most of the books things they wish they saw when that's what they're complaining about are things that had to be cut because they were details and did not impact the rest of the story as much and instead of complaining about the show having an insane amount of episodes, episode's length and planned seasons for 14 books each individually as big as an encyclopedia they blame Rafe who actually loved the books and is a fan too, that's literally why the books got approved to be on screen. Rafe he's a book fan that got lucky the same way Brandon Sanderson was a book fan that got lucky back then. He probably wish he could put more things in there too.

Instead of complaining about the real problem, they should be battling against, its straight up hate (from bookcloaks) and endless complaints about things that does not matter as its really just "yes but in the books" for choices that does makes sense when they stop being Rand centric while watching a show that isn't about the hero's journey but about the Quest itself.

(Pre post edit thoughts:

Robert made a mistake by calling his books: The Wheel of Time ,to then make most of the pov's and most of the story revolve around a single character. He should have called it "The dragon Reborn" or something along those lines, because most of book readers' new complaints I've seen so far, really are just about it not being ridiculously focused on Rand's story or like the books when they know that this is not a "Randland" show but specifically one that corrects this major flaw from the books by using the only character close enough, interesting enough and refreshing enough to tell this story trought a different lense that allows more freedom to explore other "z-list"/ side characters who actually plays a role in all of this, it's actually painfull to see so many book readers fail to realise that Moiraine really is just the best character to tell this story as she actually knows what's going on behind the scene whereas Rand is just clueless.)

E.g: Rand apparently being powerless (or rather not as powerful as they wished he would be already).

Even though he was alone and in hiding for the last 6 months and only ever channelled because he lacked control and only got to Logain once, because he stayed close but still ignored him for as long as he could. Until he left with Selene to then be found by Mo, he still kills Ishy, Turak and his guards, takes the shield off Egwene (pre post edit: who's struggling btw) and looks like he doesn't even break a sweat.

Yet, all some book readers allow themselves to see is him being "powerless" because he didn't get a flashy 1vs1 against the bad guy even though it wouldn't makes sense with his current development (that was impacted by what ? Cuts because of time/budget constraints ) and Egwene literally is the strongest and most experienced of them all right now because of the Sanchean (pre post edit : the bright side of being a damane lol ) and is one of the most developed character of s2 from EF5 because of what needs to happen with Siuan at some point in S3 and where her (really theirs) story might be going.

(more on this topic here)

This ends here, feel free to share your opinion on this.

#the wheel of time #wheel of time #wot on prime #moiraine damodred #wot show spoilers #torashi's answers #torashi's thoughts #long post #long ass post #unpopular opinion #probably unpopular

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crystalelemental · 7 months

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"books-are-my-life-stuff: The "MC is such a special person" thing in Trainer Lodge is honestly inevitable because that's really the purpose of the Trainer Lodge: fanservice. I think when it comes to some of the more popular characters but already well-developed in the original game (N, Lillie) DeNA wanted to play safe by repeating what we already knew for them, because they knew the frantic fans of them would just be happy for mere crumbs about them. Like, have you seen how many people gone ham over the idea of not just being able to date N but also ride ferris wheel with him when Trainer Lodge was first teased? A lot. I'm one of them."

Which I get, but it doesn't endear those conversations to me at all. I think you can have something focus on the MC without making them the center of their world. Like, all of them are at least partially like "Oh I don't open up like this with everyone," but Elesa's is invasive in that she even mentions Skyla and discards that idea entirely for no real reason. I can get over the idea that it's just doing stuff as usual, I do get that's part of the appeal, but it's very hard for me to overlook too much adoration for this rando MC.

"Other characters who got to trainer lodge but lacked the chance to shine in the original game was when DeNA managed to make something new and interesting, while also combining what we already knew, like Gladion, Adaman, Irida, Acerola. Morty is also arguably so because his morbid sense of humor is not a thing in the original series, or any of his portrayal in other medias, it's also not a thing that every ghost-type trainer has, only a few, that's a new thing that Masters added and people like it, so his Trainer Lodge story is pushing that consistency."

That's...a fair point. Morty really doesn't display much in the games, so that angle is entirely Masters' creation. Good for him, maybe that one's more fun than I thought. Perhaps I've just grown used to this portrayal and forgot it wasn't always that way.

"But yeah, the reason why I asked you this in the first place is because I'm extremely happy about Gladion's trainer lodge story, it's extremely good and gives him the much-needed spotlight after being overshadowed so much by his sister (and his mother too) in terms of not just popularity but also character development. Adaman and Irida ones are also extremely fun, so I mostly share similar opinion with yours regarding the trainer lodge stories with some exceptions."

That's fair. Gladion's story was really good, I'd be surprised if it wasn't one of the more popular ones generally.

#books-are-my-life-stuff

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erenaeoth · 2 years

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Hey have you finished Tekken Bloodline? I have a lot of thoughts about it and I'd love to hear yours

I have, yeah! I confess to binging it yesterday morning and am part way through a second watching now.

I'll put thoughts under a spoiler for those who haven't finished it yet.

I'm pretty pleased with Tekken Bloodline! It's closest we've ever gotten to a faithful adaptation of any Tekken material, and whilst there are some alterations, inaccuracies, and artistic liberties taken, I'm really pleased to finally have something that loves its source material and enjoys telling the original story.

There are obviously lots of things I would have done differently, but it has met and exceeded my expectations. There is a lot of careful attention to detail, from using TK6 SC Mishima Estate to model the estate on, to even dreamscape scenes like in the final episode taking place on Tekken stages like Infinite Azure and its nightime counterpart.

The closest I came to being irritated was some of the devil gene descriptions, which are all introduced too early, since Heihachi's more serious research into it is because of Jin, not before. That being said, I really loved the idea they fronted that actually the Devil Gene isn't evil - it is a power to be controlled like any other, and that with self-control and an absence of hate, it can be used for good. It turns the Devil Gene into something much more like the Force - a natural, neutral phenomenon that is only a tool in the hands of a moral agent. This does a lot to remove the 'genetic defect makes you evil' that some later Tekken risks slipping into. It also gives Kazuya a more full agency over his evil actions, which has always been important to me. The choice to focus on violence being what breaks Jin and forces him into increasing hatred and loss of control was a really nice one, and something I've always thought is really important and overlooked in Tekken. I think it is in Talon's fic you fear for my life (i fear for yours) that Hwoarang is disturbed by Jin's single minded desire to kill Ogre for revenge. Jin's overcommitment to violent ends begins as his undoing (in so far as his own choices are to blame for where he ends up), and we see that carried through in his thoughtlessness and cruelty later.

I do think though that with this more neutral angle on the Devil Gene, they might struggle to convey its parasitic aspect, which, whilst not excusing Jin or Kazuya's actions, also shouldn't be downplayed. Even the existence of a full-fledged Devil within them is a testament to trauma, without which a devil cannot arise. It is clear from places like Tekken 4 and 5 Jin intros, that Devil preys on the mind and eats into one's thoughts, filling them with violence and hatred. So whilst I like the take that the TV series has on the gene, I'm not sure how successfully this concept would carry over to a second series.

I am glad though that they introduced and demonstrated how unreliable Heihachi is as a source of facts. I was dismayed momentarily by the thought that they were really fielding the idea that Ogre awoke because of Jin fighting and came looking for him. In fact Heihachi had already told us Ogre was seeking out strong opponents (ie. Jun, not Jin) and to have Julia confirm that Heihachi awoke Ogre is a relief. It was a nice touch actually, to show off how manipulative Heihachi can be. Jin was getting more cocky and disobedient in that scene until Heihachi made him feel racked with guilt over his own possible inolvement in his mother's death. He instantly becomes malleable to his grandfather's whims and smaller as soon as he believes this to be true. Very Heihachi. Nice.

Talking of very Heihachi, I loved that we got a nice window into how messed up Kazuya's life must have been under him. We have Heihachi constantly berating Jin for essentially not being enough like his father, offset with Heihachi saying that Kazuya is pure evil. Why aren't you more brutal like your pure evil father, Jin? hurry up, be more like him. Oh, now you are, guess I'll shoot you. Good old Heihachi business.

I'm also chuffed that Xiao and Hwoarang got bigger roles in this, though sad we could have had either of those first meetings outside of a montage. I think all the characterisation in this was really nice actually. Every character was recognisably themselves, and I think the writer really understood Jin and Hwoarang's rivalry, which comes out of Hwoarang's endings really. I also loved Heihachi slamming Jin's emo behaviour and bigging up Xiaoyu. Another peak moment.

I think I could keep writing about this all day. I watched it in Japanese and am watching it in English now. I don't love Heihachi's English VA... but I think his Japanese VA did a really good job, and sounds a lot like Heihachi's deceased actor. I loved the time and energy put into studying the characters moves - all the recognisable stances and moves that have not only been choreographed well into a fight, but also done to convey character. I think unless you have choreographed a fight for a story in some capacity, you might not realise what a difficult task that is to do - you not only need to convey the fighting style well, get it to gel in an interesting way on screen to tell a story - you also want to let those movements still show off the character's personality. For example the playful way Xiaoyu's Phoenix stance is used, and the way Hwoarang is taunting during flamingo, using that very functional stance to act all cocky. There's just a lot of time and love gone into this animation.

I don't really have time to go into much more - I'll mention that I think the choice to put Leroy in in order showcase someone else who's been personally injured by Heihachi is a good one that makes a lot of sense. In fact, I think Leroy, all things being equal, would have made most sense as a Tekken 1 character, given his story, but moving him forward into a Tekken 3 plot did neaten the story they wanted to tell, and provide good strong evidence against Heihachi's lies about his own self image.

Stuff I was less keen on - the implication that Jin's brand is just a cool flame tattoo (we only see it when his new bad boy flame gi is shown off); the implication that Jin wasn't born on Yakushima and that his mother isn't from there; never discussing the Mishima Zaibatsu or just how loaded Heihachi is; setting the whole tournament in Peru? I thought flying there meant that they were going to have stages all over the world that contestants flew too, but no... just all set there, okay.

But anyway, enough of my rambling. Please feel free to chime in with your own thoughts and whether you enjoyed the show. If there was a second season, what would you like to see in it?

#tekken bloodline #asks #tekken thoughts #tekken

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broken-clover · 1 year

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*poke poke* okay your turn lets hear some music takes! (no need for a long list like i did you can just tell me your top and bottom picks if you wanna)

Iiiiiii spent way too much time trying to analyze these. It felt like a good excuse to look at them all, your analyses were really fun to read! And I like making lists! Unfortunately I am way less knowledgeable about rock genres and music in general so this'll be less smartly analytical as opposed to me just screaming. Also I found out that I was way more opinionated on some songs than on others. Not surprising I guess but man looking between my thoughts on Chipp's vs Faust's was a little embarrassing.

Find Your One Way- Likewise I absolutely got the title confused. Tbh I think it'd make more sense if it was 'own.' I feel like this song sums up Sol well in terms of being edgy and rocking but mechanically pretty straightforward. Not bad, just kind of basic. It's serviceable. Just…not much else

Roar of the Spark- I fully maintain that Ky has not had a single clunker or flop theme, not even in the original vocal tracks. Tonally and lyrically it's an absolute gem. I adore how the sparkly keyboard gives it a bit of a 'holy' vibe. Not a second of it doesn't absolutely go hard. This is one that I regularly relisten to not even as a video game theme but just a song I love banging my head to

The Disaster of Passion- A little basic? Sure. Absolute bop? OH BOY IS IT. Utterly bursting with energy, but it never comes off as exhausting or cloying. For the most part I really love AISHA's themes, and it's another one I listen to for fun a lot

Out of the Box- I appreciate that even if I'm not a huge fan of the theme it still very clearly reflects who it belongs to. A very offbeat and leisurely feel, fits Axl perfectly. I love the drum kicks, but the high pitched parts are a little silly. At least it knows how to a decent chant, unlike some themes.

Play the Hero- ….man, it really is an anime theme, huh. The sudden sweep of energy going into the first chorus does do a great job of pumping you up. I wish I had more to say. It's good, it does its job.

Armor-Clad Faith- I don't know about 'underrated,' but I feel like the low, grinding, industrial vibe really fits Potemkin and creates a really powerful atmosphere that gets a bit overlooked. You can feel Potemkin, but you can feel the mechanical nature of Zepp surrounding him too. As much as I love Engage I'm tied between them, they both create really good atmosphere

Alone Infection- (Prepare for a long-winded mess)

It's been a hot second since I listened to this one, at least before Another Story, and not to read too into stuff, but I feel like the whole thing is an abridged version of Faust's entire plot arc. The first portion is growling and harsh and whispering with fretful undertones, which fits really well with his original snap as Baldhead, psychologically he was all over the place, unable to process the grief and self-loathing, and even after stopping with the killing and trying to atone, he had nobody to connect with or to talk to in order to help him understand and process his psychological damage. It constantly hangs over him, but nobody else can see it's there aside from him.

The sort of goofy vaudeville/circus-esque section could be a lot of the 'Faust' persona, but I'd lean towards Xrd and maybe the tail end of the XX-series. He's happy! He's fun! Don't focus on the undertones! He's the happy silly doctor man, everything is fine! Everything is fine!! But it's temporary, because it's just a band-aid on a stab wound, making everything look good on the outside. As soon as you prod it, it's obvious that barely anything has changed, and we're back to the chorus

And just as quickly, it all cuts out into a gentle guitar piece. I think this could be Another Story. It's finally quiet, no distractions for him to use to ignore what he hasn't been able to address. He recognizes that he's been running from his past and the trauma that comes with it, and is able to see 'eye to eye' with himself. It's difficult, and it's something he hasn't wanted to look at, but it's what he had to do in order to accept what happened and finally let it go.

While the final section is basically the same lyrics at first, it's much more grand and sweeping, soulful and dare I say it, hopeful. Positive things are mixed into the line about grief, and the final round of the chorus gives off the impression that he's come to terms with the fact that his trauma is something that he still is the only one that can see the full depths of it, but it's something he's accepted as a part of himself and can allow to coexist with the rest of him rather than overshadowing everything like it has for years.

Love the Subhuman Self- Ough Millia sweetie I'm so sorry I overlooked your theme it's fabulous. Tbh in general I love whenever they go for a more electronic sound, and the opener does give off a slightly lopsided vibe, like Millia herself isn't psychologically solid. But the low, grinding sound it veers into not long afterwards also works really well for her tonally, it remids me of a Metal Gear track, and offers up a mental image of her masking her uneasiness and discomforts with the rigid assassin duties she's given. The growl in the chorus also feels like a pretty obvious nod to Zato, and how even in a song that's supposed to be about Millia and who she is, he still seeps in. Even if she tries to move on, he's still there.

One thing I hadn't noticed the first couple of times that there's a sense of…almost childishness in some of the lyrics. The repeated mention of lullabies, throwing rocks into a lake like children would do, specifically the mention of looking 'cute' rather than something like pretty or beautiful that an adult would use. Could be overanalyzing but I like the suggestion it gives off that her upbringing left Millia psychologically stunted in some ways, and part of the reason leaving the assassin lifestyle is so difficult

Let Me Carve Your Way- Okay. Yes. The opening and the ending do worm into my skull and do indeed slap monumentally. However, I think the middle of the sandwich is just…decent. Basic in the same way that Sol's is, and I don't think it flows into the ending well, it just kinda stops and starts as a new song. Front half is a solid C tier, back is an A

Necessary Discrepancy- MORE ELECTRONIC SOUNDS YIPPIE. It plus the usage of Esperanto fits really well for an artificial girl. I know this one is a little divisive, but I love the chorus. The turn into standard guitar and vocals after the first chorus could make sense from a narrative POV, but it feels a little like playing it safe after getting experimental with the beginning. Did I mention I like the chorus? I like the chorus.

Hellfire- Cool opening! Can we please send Leo to therapy now. It's a good song but genuinely I don't think any of the themes are so transparently about self-hatred and intentionally suicidal recklessness born from it and it's legitimately hard to get into it like the others because I just keep side-eyeing the lyrics uncomfortably. Small aside but the sitar-esque twangs are a fun addition even if I'm not sure if it fits him well.

What do you Fight For- Still amazed they went for a Beatles homage in the intro. Like with Zato's though, the different parts don't so much flow into each other as they are stapled together. I like the radio segment but I still don't get what relevance it has to Nago. Thankfully he wasn't stuck with just the one

Trigger- She gets a really good and distinct sound, shame they don't do much with it. Nothing wrong with a song that just sounds fun, and while I know it's sort of the point of the lyrics, but given how much they were used for telling a story or going deeper on a character, hers is so surface level and uncomplicated that I wonder what the point is of having lyrics at all for her theme.

Rock Parade- Still eternally mad about the 'it's about wanting to have sex with Baiken' interpretation that is still so prevalent despite it not making a shred of sense. Nonetheless, terrific song. The shifts between parts actually feel natural. The usage of an intentionally more 'Japanese' sound in the later parts is both a fun way of tying into Anji's background and gives the emotions more of a sense of earnestness, which is especially punchy for someone who's known for their dishonesty

Requiem- It really stands out that so far, this is the first song that opens with lyrics. While I can't say this theme is my favorite for a couple of reasons, maybe in part due to listening again after Strive's release this one did bring my mood down. The post-chorus is getting stuck in my head though.

Crawl- BANGS BANGS BANGS BANGS THE THEME NAGO DESERVES. Perfect followup to I-no's theme honestly because the contrast of 'I'm not going to give up in the face of this suffering and I will literally crawl out of it if I have to' is all the more impactful. I adore the last round of the chorus and the concept of the 'freedom of calm' is so good that I can gladly overlook it being a touch cheesy

The Kiss of Death- Like with Axl's, I love how a theme can so resemble a character just in terms of its sound. Mechanical thrumming like heavy machinery and a slow, rocking beat? That's our peepaw! I wish the title had a bit more explanation behind it but that's a minor nitpick

Perfection Can't Please Me- Huh. It's just like Jack-O. Cute and boring. I get what they were going for, but this is the cloying energy that May's theme skirted. The 'this is it' refrain was fun and them playing around with piano was a nice touch, but like with Giovanna's the lyrics are so surface level comparable to others and the themes it's trying to go over feel like they were done better and more creatively in other themes

Drift- Playing with the piano again! Like with Ram's, opening with something cool and unique before shifting into the standard guitar feels like you're playing it safe. Hokey or not the Disney segment almost got me feeling something earnest before they gave up again. Dammit Happy you almost had something.

Mirror of the World- Like with Anji's I appreciate deliberately including more clearly Japanese elements, in this case the actual language. So much of this becomes more heartwarming since we got Another Story, relistening was worth it just for that

Like a Weed- I am ashamed to admit I had yet to hear this one in full. I say with shame because wow I sure have been missing out. Some of the lyrics feel a little forced, including the title drop, but I appreciate Naoki doing something different with his voice. The theme of 'life is simple and unremarkable yet beautiful and full of the meaning I choose to give it' is similar to Jack-O's except good and well done. The string outtro was unexpected but gleefully welcomed

The Town Inside Me- Similarly to May, a little basic? A little poppier? Yes, but if you're going in that direction, go whole hog, and this one totally does. Own it! In that way, it ties into Bridget even more. Use that energy to be joyful and confident. There's no shame to be had in being so bright

The Hourglass- Another song I hadn't gotten around to. Unlike Testament's though, I don't think I missed too much. It ties nicely into Sol's theme by being relatively basic. Not bad, just not anything stunningly original. The piano gave it some energy, but I don't think there was anything to make it have a clear identity of its own. Like you said, fun but simple in the way that Sin himself is. The fact that I've only heard it twice now probably doesn't help but I couldn't tell you any of the lyrics, it's that dry. Interested by the return of the radio/vaudeville voice, I hope it isn't meant to have the same implications as Faust's use of it.

The Circle- I'm starting to believe the crack theories that Happy and the bed siblings have something to do with each other because they both have themes with a lot of slapdash elements that don't mesh together. And, again, it's possible that was intentional, but by this point not even the mishmash is original. I still don't get why the chant is there, it adds nothing and feels like they're trying to fill space. Talk-singing is a staple with a lot of these, but this one feels the most egregious. I've warmed to it a tiny bit, I like a couple parts of it, but I think this feels less like a proper song and more like slam poetry. I want to like it. I really do. But when it came around to listening to this one again it felt more like a task to endure rather than be a song I genuinely enjoyed looking up and listening to for fun. I'm just confused how at how Does the Sheep Count the Sheep manages to do so much better at indicating who Bedman is as a character without having any words whatsoever and still having a good melody that flows well. I'm sorry for both of them, it's just such a nothing song to me.

#wooooo this got long damn #ask #guilty gear #everyone #Bedman and Sin go together again because they both have mediocre themes #is it obvious I'm writing this close to midnight

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stormyoceans · 1 year

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what are your impression of midnight museum?:) did you like it as a whole? who's your favourite character? what didn't you like?

OH I LOVED MIDNIGHT MUSEUM!!!!!! i mean, okay, let's be honest.. it was an absolute mess and if you asked me to explain what the hell happened in the last two episodes i probably would not be able to do it, BUT STILL!!!!!!! I LOVED IT. sometimes being able to entertain your viewers is more than enough to make a show both memorable and likeable, and i think midnight museum is the perfect example of this

the show is a mixture of fantasy, science fiction and mystery, which are three genres im personally very weak for. the first half also has an episodic nature to it that i miss in television a lot: it can be boring when there isn’t a strong horizontal narrative getting advanced in the background, but if you can make it work it’s really fun for the viewers, and in this particular case i do believe the show was at its strongest when it fully embraced this format. the ‘artifact of the week’ with the enigma of dome’s identity was really entertaining to me, and i loved how creepy and disturbing some of the storylines were. the decision to throw in an abundance of biblical symbolisms as well in the second half of the show probably wasn't a good idea for the plot as a whole, but that's something i find incredibly fascinating so i'd be lying if i said i didn't love every (confusing) second of it

the real strength of the show lies in its cast, though. i already knew that gun and nanon are incredible actors, but i wasn't familiar with tor before midnight museum and i will always be grateful to it for introducing him to me because he is phenomenal. he showed up on that set every single day and decided to give so much yearning longing pining aching worrying agony anguish guilt restraint with the twitch of his mouth alone, and i respect him so much for it. honestly there aren't many people who are able to convey so many emotions in such an effective way. the supporting cast was also pretty solid and some of the guest actors gave an outstanding performance, like fah and tu in episode 5 for example

the other strong point of the show is the relationship between khatha and dome/chan/one. it’s basically on the level of chinese censored gay romance, and even when the writing didn’t give it justice, gun and tor’s on screen chemistry still managed to make it incredibly compelling to watch (an anon once told me that gun would have insane chemistry with literally anyone he got paired with and you know what? I COULDN’T AGREE MORE). the choice of not making their relationship a romantic one does baffle me a little tbh, especially because they were trying to push the brothers agenda while also giving explicitly romantic elements and parallels, but i can easily overlook this since the ending was very satisfying to me (i also don’t think this was queerbaiting btw, but that’s another story)

as for the things i disliked, my main issue with the show is the execution. the premise was original and had a lot of potential, but it’s obvious that the writing team lacked an overall vision of the (overcomplicated) story they wanted to tell: the moment they abandoned the episodic structure to focus on the larger narrative, the events start missing a sense of unity and direction, and the characters feel aimless too. i find every member of the main gang really interesting and likeable, but with the exception of khatha (love that old man btw, he is my absolute fave) they’re all criminally underdeveloped

MDL originally had midnight museum listed as having 15 episodes, and im not sure where did that information come from, but i actually think they did need those 5 extra episodes to make the plot more coherent, give more depth to the characters and explore the relationship between them (we should have had AT LEAST another june focused episode, a couple on triphob and bam and their relationship, one on anthika and boon, and one to let dome gain a little more sense of identity). if we ever get a season 2 they better fix this and fully develop all the characters BEFORE they try to explain what the hell is going on

ANYWAY. TL;DR:

#making reviews isn't a talent i possess but im trying ;;;;;#also i didn't mention this because it's a spoiler but another thing i disliked is [SPOILER][SPOILER][SPOILER] anthika dying #you don't make a character who is taught from a young age that she has to sacrifice herself to god finally learn to believe in herself #and LIVE just for herself #only to kill her off the next episode by sacrificing herself #i understand the predestined doomed 'you can't escape your fate' narrative but to work they should have given her way more emotional depth #ANYWAY I NEED TO STOP RAMBLING #thank you for wanting to know my opinion anon that's so sweet 🥺💜#hopefully you're not regretting it ;;;;;#midnight museum #m: ask #monica watches

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jaelijn · 1 year

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The Human Factor by F. H.

While you've got some reading material already via @rebelsandfools (and previous days of the calendar), I did want to share one more zine - this is Avon 11, a single story zine for "The Human Factor" by F. H.

HERE IS THE LINK.

Again, this comes as a recommendation, though I've debated for a long time on what to say when I share this. It is one of my favourites in the Avon range for its good and exactly to my taste bits, but it also has several concepts that... have at least aged poorly.

It's a S2 Gen story with a lot of focus on Avon & Vila and some minor shades of Avon/Cally. It's also, naturally, delicious Avon whump, in which Vila is the only one around to help. It's a multi-stage plot, so the fic very much doesn't end where you'd expect it to - with the Liberator rescue - but while I can't really talk about the plot much because the H/C or Whump very much is the plot, it gives you plenty to enjoy. And I do enjoy it.

That said, there are definitely things that bother me here - that I am willing to overlook for an otherwise really good fic at least so far as to still recommend it, but that I can't in good conscience leave unmentioned.

The first is the nature/cause of the whump, which is a spinal injury resulting in paralysis that the characters have to at least assume might be permanent. Consequently there are some... probably understandable from a character psychology angle in the situation but still possibly triggering and/or ableist musings around the quality of life while living with paralysis. Given that this isn't an AU, the fact that it's not permant probably isn't a spoiler, but I know that these aspects as well as the "fixing it" aspect in itself are... at least contentious in disabled communities. At the same time, I'd hazard that the author has either personal knowledge of dealing with paralysis in a medical capacity or has done research on that angle, since there's some medical detail that you probably wouldn't find in an average whump fic dealing with paralysis.

The second is that this story has a homosexual original character - that sadly turns out to be a villain and sexual predator (resulting also in corresponding triggers) as well as generally a creep. It smacks of some unfortunate attitudes towards LGBTQIA+ folk in using queerness as sign of villainy, also given that the fic is published in a range that is decidedly Not Slash - aka Gen defaulting Het - but while the character is relevant to the B plot, I didn't feel like that aspect ruined my enjoyment entirely. It's more of an unfortunate aftertaste (aka "why did he have to be gay" when it would have been easy enough to just... not).

The final is some undercurrent of "convincing Avon that he's human" or that "being 'more human' is good actually" that I personally struggle with - an undercurrent that presumably informed the title, but I don't remember it as terribly obnoxious in the fic itself - usually, this thing stops me from reccing something, and in this case it bothers me far far less than the other two, but it was worth mentioning anyway.

Anyway - I didn't really want to dwell on all of the negatives when this is a fic I have genuinely enjoyed for its good bits - the Avon & Vila above all - but I also didn't want to not say. So I guess I'd say: Read with an awareness of there being some unfortunate and/or outdated attitudes, but enjoy the whump!

GPD Calendar Masterpost

#blake's 7 #b7 fanzines #b7 gpdc 2022 #b7 gpd calendar 2022 #b7 ac 2022 #b7 advent calendar

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greatwyrmgold · 2 years

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Thinking about Time Paradox Ghostwriter, how it showed so much promise yet turned out being a whole bunch of nothing, and how it might have been improved had Kenji Ichima's microwave was struck by lightning and spat out a copy of future manga critics discussing his work.

TL;DR (and boy howdy is it TL)

Plagiarism. This is a common angle of criticism, to the point that it makes people dismiss the series before applying any other criticism. And it's by far the easiest criticism to address; it just feels like the people behind TPGW didn't consider it until too late in production.

Why's White Knight good? A manga about manga needs to be good at explaining manga. A crucial plot point, and arguably the throughline tying all the story's events together, is the unsurpassed genius of Itsuki Aino's White Knight. The reasons why White Knight is good seem like they'd be

Itsuki Aino's death. It's a plot point that's introduced clumsily, resolved worsely, and just feels out of place. Part of that is just the fact that the series was clearly meant to have a bunch of chapters between the introduction and the death reveal, but given that this plot occupies eight out of fourteen TPGW chapters, I can't exactly ignore its problems. I probably should have made this #4, but I'm not restructuring everything now!

Emptiness. A series about manga should say something about manga, and TPGW absolutely says stuff about it. It's just not good, or consistent. And possibly unintentional, especially if we read a bit too much into the statement that stories don't need to have meaning to be good. A lot of people (myself included) read chapter 1 and assumed TPGW would have some interesting stuff to say about the creative process and what makes manga good, but all we got in the end was "Good manga doesn't have to be original or meaningful or have personality, it just needs to be written by a talented mangaka!" Barf.

And to fix as much as possible with as few changes as possible: Start by drastically changing Itsuki Aino's philosophy of "manga just needs to be good" and "personality only reduces a manga's potential audience". Keep her goal the same as Sasaki's—making manga everyone can enjoy—but change her beliefs on what makes manga enjoyable to be something different than Sasaki's.

Then change Aino's role in the story so that she's aware of the time plagiarism and actively brought into the creative process of Sasaki's White Knight, so their now distinct personalities and philosophies can play off each other. Have them actually discuss White Knight in a way that both illuminates their differences and hopefully why one manga is better than another.

Finally, change the hundreds of tiny details that contribute to the series's themes, because the big picture is a fairly small part of the problem.

Problem 1: The plagiarism thing

On one hand, if you overlook the fact that Sasaki basically plagiarizes his manga, TPGW has a lot of interesting things to say about the creative process. On the other hand, the series gives you very few reasons to overlook the fact that Sasaki basically plagiarizes his manga.

This is so bad that I wouldn't be surprised if nobody involved in the production of TPGW considered that its premise was kinda plagiarismy before they saw the response to chapter 1. This impression isn't helped by the way that Aino casually absolves Sasaki of wrongdoing after a brief conversation. It's like everyone involved just wanted to get it out of the way.

Sure, Sasaki assumes that the first chapter of White Knight is just something that came to him in a weird dream and not a literal copy of Shonen Jump from the future that he plagiarized. He's not crazy. But Sasaki never really considers whether he should keep drawing White Knight once he sees another copy of Jump manifest when he's wide awake, and doesn't give much focus on the reasons why he feels like he can't stop publishing his copied work.

Sasaki feels guilty about plagiarizing White Knight, which is good. However, it feels like shallow, unimportant angst, diluted by the angst he feels about realizing that he still doesn't have any good ideas of his own. That latter point is especially bad, because it makes it impossible to tell whether future angst about "not being his" comes from the plagiarism thing or the I-don't-deserve-this-praise thing, or even a pride thing.

The thing is, there are good arguments in favor of continuing to publish. Aside from a general feeling of obligation towards his employers (and the first series he's gotten published), there's the fact that Aino publishing her own White Knight idea would be perceived as plagiarizing Sasaki. But this never gets enough focus.

If I had to point to a solution, I'd have Aino believe Sasaki when he explains how he wrote White Knight. This would give her a good reason not to casually absolve him of a crime she has no reason to think he could commit, which in turn gives Sasaki a good chance to defend himself.

But above all, it lets Sasaki make amends to Aino. Something direct, like Sasaki actively offering to make Aino an assistant and promote her to coauthor as soon as he could get away with it. I get that him stopping Aino from working herself to death is supposed to be that, but it's so far removed from his initial plagiarism and meeting Aino and stuff that it feels less like a response to harm he caused her and more like an unrelated side quest he went on because nobody else could.

(Plus, I personally dislike stories built around big deceptions that nobody is allowed to find out about for fear of disrupting the status quo. Screw the status quo!)

Problem 2: Why is White Knight so good?

White Knight is a super basic but super popular manga series, in both the future where Itsuki Aino wrote it and the present where Teppei Sasaki did. It's so good that the editor-in-chief glances at the manuscript (when Sasaki didn't have an appointment with anyone) and immediately decides it should run in Weekly Shonen Jump, and it breaks all sorts of fan response records, and it inspires despairing wannabe-mangaka to give it another go, and editors cry at the storyboards and call it divine, and Sasaki almost literally isn't allowed to not make it a weekly series. But why?

We don't get much detail about White Knight. Each chapter is better than the last. It looks better when Sasaki stops just copying Aino's linework. We have a broad plot synopsis from chapter 1; endless night, ghost that needs to be killed, generic-sounding nice-guy-tragic-backstory hero. There's also a witch, and a teacher who might know who the ghost is, and a "hanged man of space-time ghost". Oh, and it's super good! People never say anything about it except to say how good its x is, and virtually every possible value of x shows up at least once.

Also the baffling implication in chapter 10 that Sasaki's plagiarized White Knight is Aino's ideal manga because it has no personality to speak of. But, um, let's unpack that later.

While we get a little more information about why Sasaki's original series are bad, but he talks at length about how his version of White Knight is worse than Aino's. Why? The art wasn't good enough?

Normally, this wouldn't matter. When reading Phantom of the Opera, we don't need to understand why Christine and Erik are such good singers; we can just accept that they're talented and had good teachers and move on. It's only a problem if they're played by a talented but inexperienced actress and a disharmonic actor.

But if the play started with Christine failing to land a job at the opera, then she started singing a different song and was immediately made prima donna, and also she spent a lot of page time discussing or pondering what makes a singer good, that would be a different story. Understanding why Christine's performance improved would be important to the plot, and absolutely critical to the themes.

All we're left with is Sasaki's stated belief that manga doesn't have to be original or something unique to the author's vision or anything like that; to be good, manga just has to be good. So I guess manga has an inherent goodness, something that makes them good, and if they don't have that they don't have it.

This is supported by how other characters talk about manga. The manga (plural) that Sasaki submits in chapter 1 mostly receive very vague, shallow criticisms. "Pedestrian premise. Flat characters. Boring. It's not like any one part of it is especially bad. The problem is that nothing about it is good." "This story is completely empty. There's nothing in it at all." The second manga gets a bit more detail, in that Sasaki took the "flat characters" thing to heart and tried to make them quirky, only to fall into new stereotypes.

This feels like it's setting up Sasaki as a competent but cripplingly ordinary mangaka. His manga is just written to appeal to a lot of people, without considering who "a lot of people" is, or what they might find appealing. And to contrast his boring failures, we have White Knight...which is also ordinary, but good instead of bad?

(I can't find a great place to slip this in, but: Sasaki makes a point out of the fact that, for all its popularity, his White Knight didn't have the same explosive success as Aino's. The only difference between the two that we know of is that one was written by Aino and one was written by Sasaki.)

White Knight didn't need to be explained in detail. We don't need half of the manga to just be White Knight panels and synopses. But if you're going to have a manga about a mangaka who ruminates on the creative process, who keeps failing with his own premises but succeeds when the inciting incident gives him a new start, the difference between the success and the failures is kind of important! We should have been given some idea why White Knight succeeded where everything else failed, why it was "good".

The only hints we're given are something about the art and Itsuki Aino just being a good mangaka. Characters praise every aspect of White Knight, not just the art, so I assume the manga isn't focusing on Sasaki's art because that's the only thing that matters for making good manga.

But what is? Why is Aino's manga so much better than Sasaki's? This is an important question that should be answered, as important as asking why Goku can beat up Frieza, because manga is as important to TPGW as martial arts is to Dragon Ball.

The answer should be clear in some difference between Aino and Sasaki. But there isn't one. They are the same, to the point that Aino thinks it's plausible that Sasaki would come up with the exact same idea. They have the same philosophy on creating manga (I'll get to it), the same goals, the same obsessive drive to perfection.

What differences are there? Aino works slightly harder, in that she works herself to death in her 20's while Sasaki only works himself to illness and fainting. Aino is more optimistic, but it seems like Sasaki was the same at age 17 and just had his optimism crushed by several years of failure. Which brings us to the one real difference between the two of them: Aino writes good manga.

I'll get back to that point after I wrap up this section.

The easiest way to solve this would be to have characters talk about White Knight, other than when they're praising it. Also to have Aino not just be the schoolgirl prodigy version of Sasaki, having two points of view is important.

Maybe Sasaki and Aino discuss White Knight when she becomes his assistant. They could disagree on why it's a good story, which would mean explaining the reasons each of them thinks it's a good story.

Having Aino help Sasaki with White Knight long-term, or at least having her do more than basic assistant work, would do a lot for the story. It would make White Knight less plagiarismy, since Sasaki is presumably getting credit. It would give Sasaki an insight into why the world and plot of White Knight work the way they do, which he'd find useful and which would characterize both the manga and the mangaka (plural). And it gives the two principal characters reasons to constantly discuss the most important object in the story with one another, especially the aspects most relevant to the series's core themes.

Problem 3: The whole Itsuki Aino dying thing

I don't think the idea of future!Aino dying is, in and of itself, a problem. I can see a version of TPGW which gets more than 14 chapters going through all potential stages of a mangaka's career through Sasaki, future!Aino, and present!Aino once she starts her own series. In the process, it would develop the characters of Sasaki and present!Aino, and maybe even future!Aino through an interview or something published in the magazine.

If that series climaxed with future!Aino karoshi'ing herself, it could be a sensible and powerful climax—especially if the supernatural aspects of its resolution were introduced over time and not rushed into existence because the manga was about to be canceled. Eight chapters would be a decent length for that kind of thing—if anything, a little quick.

But that's not the TPGW we have. In our TPGW, the eight chapters focused on future!Aino's death and preventing present!Aino's are 57% of the series. Everything else is little more than setup to the karoshi arc, yet very little has been done to establish its conflict. Why does future!Aino overwork herself? Well, present!Aino is clearly passionate about her work. Why would Sasaki making a series that's better than hers make Aino not overwork herself? I don't think this question ever gets answered, even though Sasaki asks it himself.

In the end, the time robot does something we had barely any idea it might be able to do, Sasaki spends decades making the perfect manga, and Aino just kinda gives up when she sees that Sasaki made that perfect manga. I'd have thought seeing a better manga than what she could draw would energize her, make her strive to surpass that limit.

You know, like how Goku has this drive to surpass anyone he sees that's stronger than him. Imagine if Goku saw how strong Beerus was and just gave up martial arts on the spot. Wouldn't that suck? It would feel out of character for someone who had been driven by a love of martial arts for the entire series, to the point of risking his own life for a good fight.

But no, Aino just likes drawing for fun, and she didn't realize it until Sasaki showed her how much better he could write manga. My first instinct is to call this sexist, but upon further consideration, there are many other ways to interpret this plot point. They're all bad, but they exist.

There are two solutions. First, you could make a much longer series which establishes all the time magic and character details that would make this turn of events make sense. Second, if your story gets canceled halfway through act 1, don't tack on the second half of act 3 if it relies on details that were supposed to come up in act 2.

Problem 4: What are you saying?

This is a manga about manga. It's one of the few manga that I'd say is more about manga than Bakuman is, mostly by virtue of not having distractingly blunt opinions about women. TPGW is pretty focused on manga. In fourteen chapters of manga about mangaka writing manga, sci-fi twist or no, there should be something about manga said, right?

A lot of people say manga needs to just appeal to people, and the people who disagree aren't given much consideration. Sasaki's editor talks about how manga characters "live off of paper and ink...and they breathe within our hearts!!", and Sasaki says he would have enthusiastically agreed if it wasn't for his "but it's not really mine" funk.

The biggest thing is probably Sasaki and Aino's feelings towards the idea of "something only you can draw". Neither Sasaki not Aino thinks there's anything only they can draw, or that manga needs a "message"; they both just want to make manga that people like—one that the whole world can enjoy. Not just people on every continent, every person in the world.

Considering that one of the characters who espouses this thesis is the protagonist, the thesis is supported by White Knight very obviously being something at least two people can draw, plenty of side characters support this thesis, it never receives any pushback that the narrative considers meaningful, and the other character espousing it wrote an almost supernaturally good manga series, it's probably safe to say that the narrative treats this sentiment as true. That the purpose of manga isn't to be unique or original or interesting, but to be enjoyable. To make people happy.

This ties back into what I said about White Knight being generically "good". Manga that have a lot of good things in them are good, because they make people happy. Why things in manga make people happy, or how they do, or why things might appeal to one person but not another, or even whether things that people find appealing could change between 2020 and 2030? Unimportant.

I don't want to try and divine the opinions of author Kenji Ichima from this, nor about illustrator Tsunehiro Date or the series editor (who is not named on Wikipedia), nor even about Jump's upper management. The world of corporate art is such that stories can, in principle, say things that every single person creating them disagrees with; the people making them are beholden to the bottom line, to shareholder opinions, not to artistic merit.

So when I say that TPGW has really shitty opinions about manga, that's not meant to reflect on any particular human involved in writing it.

Let's start by pointing out that "manga is supposed to make people happy" is just a fat nothingburger of an opinion and move on to all the other things that get dismissed to support that thesis.

Like, the idea that a series doesn't need to do anything new to be good. This is ridiculous! The rhetorical composite author of TPGW might have had manga like Dragon Ball in mind when saying that, but DB is only so generic because so many other series copied all the new things it did. A generic Shonen Jump series that doesn't do anything new won't look like Dragon Ball, it'll look like Neru: Way of the Martial Artist or Dororo Dororon.

The idea that manga (or art in general) should have a message is a bit less concrete, but personally, I'd argue less that a series must have a message to be good and more that any story is gonna have a message, which can affect series quality the same way that its plot, characters, or art can. But to TPGW, this message isn't even on the same level of unimportance as plot or characters, it's something to be actively dismissed.

All that a manga needs to be is "good". What does it mean to be good? It needs to make people happy, by being good. How do you make a good manga? Judging by the lack of difference between Sasaki and Aino...you need to be a good mangaka. That's it.

Sasaki and Aino do the exact same thing. They both work stupid hard on their manga, with the exact same methods and motive—the same disregard for anything except creating a "good" manga that makes people happy. Even their flaws are the same, most notably the way they rip any work they don't consider good enough to shreds. (Not that I'm confident TPGW thinks this is a flaw...)

One of them uses this method to succeed, one of them is trapped in a loop of failure until he gets a time machine. That's it.

Sasaki is a bad mangaka. Aino is a good mangaka. Aino is a good mangaka because the manga she writes is good, and the reason her manga is good is that it was written by a good mangaka.

This is even directly supported by the text. The time robot attributes Aino's success and doom as coming from being "born with too much talent". (And also her drive, but Sasaki has repeatedly failed to match Aino even when he's given exceptionally strong motivation.)

There are some side issues I have, too.

Chapters 4-5 are almost about how the perfect is the enemy of the good, how hitting deadlines is important and worth making small compromises for. Then the chief assistant finds a compromise, and then Sasaki rips up the compromise because it's still not good enough (wait, didn't they digitally combine the backgrounds and character art?), and then he gets one more chance to redraw everything and makes it better than before so there are no consequences.

The main characters make a big deal about how it's dumb to ask mangaka to make something only they can draw, and this is supported by the fact that White Knight is ultra-popular despite being something at least two people could draw. Yet Sasaki sees a big jump in his White Knight's quality when he stops trying to copy Aino's art, when he makes White Knight his own and draws it in a way only he can. This contradiction isn't really addressed.

A reasonably coherent position is argued in chapter 10. A writer's "personality" leaking in can make it appealing to some people, but can also "make it feel too eccentric". The more personality, the more people who will be turned off by this eccentricity. But the thought terminates there! Thus, personality makes a manga into a niche series, and a lack of personality gives something the potential to be a hit with everyone. The idea that "goodness" or "entertaining-ness" are somehow tied to personality, that a manga truly without personality won't be enjoyed by anyone, never comes up. Conclusion: Aino needs to suppress her personality to make her dream manga.

All of this aside, the core conception of "good manga," or "good storytelling" in general, is a bigger problem. Whatever the flesh authors of TPGW were trying to say, the story they made says that good manga is just good, it's pointless to try and figure out why, all the things people say about how to write good manga are bogus, and talent is all that matters. Bull fucking shit.

The manga doesn't fully commit to the bullshit. The idea of "manga anyone can enjoy," so important to almost every mangaka in the series, is questioned out of nowhere three pages from the end of the series. And the whole climax of the story is about Sasaki the deeply untalented mangaka making a better manga than uber-prodigy Aino. All he needed was (checks notes) roughly 8.7 years of stopped time to finish and polish the last ~150 chapters of White Knight, something like three times as much time per chapter as Aino needed. Plus the first quarter of the series written by the uber-prodigy. So with the tables tilted via supernatural interference, untalented mangaka can surpass talented ones!

But yeah, TPGW is pretty committed to its bullshit.

I could go on about how empty TPGW feels, but at this point I'm just gonna like a Replay Value video on the subject and try to wrap this up.

Right, solutions. Um...start by having Sasaki and present!Aino not have the exact same opinions about what makes manga good. Find some way to imply that both are wrong, and that future!Aino only made her future White Knight so good because her opinions were more nuanced and accurate than either of them. Beyond that...this is the kind of problem that comes from details, not plot points.

Conclusion

Kinda covered it in the TL;DR. Also: I kinda want to write TPGW fanfic now. The kind of fanfiction only I would write.

#manga #time paradox ghostwriter #shonen jump #meta

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mediocreauthor · 2 years

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I was so focused on Endy’s face I didn’t realize his boobs *Becomes feral alongside you*

But you know, you can tell that HK is very invested in the Todoroki family… And I love that for them but please sensei, transfer some of that investment to the OFA/AFO family too 🙏 Do you remember that crappy Deku-AM reunion and Stain of all people hyping up AM? And just this weird focus on AM’s legacy instead of the person he is now? Like, something has to give. Love to the Todofam but the MCfam also deserves to shine 🥲 Bakugou an exception lol.

i am not caught up with the manga so i can't comment on this with %100 accuracy but i don't think the focus on all might's legacy is weird because you can't separate it from who he is now yet. if you mean this weird 'all might failed' thing... i agree but it's also a misinterpretation. All might did carry the society on his very broad shoulders for decades. it was the system and society who failed all might and themselves.

i found the AM and Stain encounter hilarious sjdfjd all might having intense people being obsessed with him (deku, endeavor, bakugou, stain) while him being a poor little meow meow is djkfdkjgjdfjk.

I saw that we got Endeavor's back story and us seeing Endy's dad but not Izuku's is very purposeful. if NOTHING comes out of Izuku's dad I will change my opinions on Hori's craft... in a major way. overall, this arc seems to be going too fast and while i understand once the ball is rolling it will only go faster, hori could've given izuku alone arc more time and explore the origins of AFO and OFA users more. i am hoping he will make up for it, so if he decides to solve the todofam drama first i will just enjoy the ride.

note that i am willing to overlook a lot of mistakes because he gave us endeavor's tiddies.

thanks for the ask!!

#bnha #manga spoilers #once i am caught up i might reblog this and give my full ideas

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abumbledbee · 3 years

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Tubbo and Wilbur’s Parallels

tw/ mentions of death / suicidal ideations

“If I can’t become the next Schlatt, then you can’t become the next Wilbur.”

This is a quote from Tubbo, given just before the exile arc began, when he was arguing with Tommy. Tommy accused him of acting like Schlatt because he was putting the nation's needs before him. Tubbo, offended at the comparison, reminds Tommy that he is acting irrationally, and is reminding Tubbo of Wilbur.

When we speak of parallels between Tubbo and Tommy with Schlatt and Wilbur, we’re often inclined to compare Tubbo with Schlatt, because they worked together so closely during Schlatt’s reign, and the complicated relationship between them which ultimately ended up with Schlatt having Tubbo lose a canon life for his betrayal. And due to Tommy and Wilbur's close relationship before and up to Wilbur's betrayal, it's easy to draw comparisons between them as well.

But I think we often overlook a lot of similarities between Tubbo and Wilbur that are worth delving into more, and the farther Tubbo goes with his character the more comparisons I keep catching. At this point I think Tubbo's character parallels Wilbur's far more than Tommy's does.

Wilbur was the founder of L’Manberg, and its first president. It’s a nation he built from the ground up, which started as nothing more than a front for his drug lab but grew into something bigger and more meaningful than Wilbur ever planned for. While on the server he found love (?) and had a child, Fundy, and then things began to get rocky as they fought for their independence against Dream.

Ultimately Wilbur fails to protect L’Manberg and their independence is bought by way of Tommy sacrificing his discs in return. Wilbur ends up losing his country by way of being exiled when Schlatt wins office, and we watch his descent into madness as he realizes how much he cared for the country and how no matter what he does, what it once was is gone forever in his eyes. The Pogtopia arc originated with Wilbur trying to come up with a plan to secure his presidency again and to reclaim his country. It ends with Wilbur refusing his original role and ultimately destroying the very thing he created along with himself because he couldn’t bear to see what it or himself had become.

In Wilbur’s darkest moments we see them play out on screen, his button room is one of the most iconic scenes we got during this period of the storyline. Wilbur in an enclosed space, surrounded by the signs reminding him of what L’Manberg once was and what it would never be again. He's hounded by his thoughts, his mental state shattered and he no longer believes there's any other course of action.

Ultimately this is his final resting place, the room where he sets off the TNT that destroys L’Manberg for the first time. He begs his father, who had just arrived to the server because he was worried when Wilbur stopped sending him letters, to kill him. And Phil does.

L’Manberg’s story does not end here, despite what Wilbur did. It begins again, with Tubbo and a crater. We talk about Tubbo being president of L’Manberg as though he was just taking on the role and a nation the way Schlatt did, but in reality, he founded it again. Tubbo, along with Phil and others, REBUILT an entire city on the rubble of its former life. Tubbo’s L’Manberg is in fact nothing like Wilbur’s, except for the parts Tubbo purposely recreated, like the camar van.

The major difference in their takes on presidency is that Tubbo did this for Tommy, for Wilbur, for the original citizens. He took on the role of President out of duty to Wilbur who passed it down to him when he felt unfit to rule again. He did his best on behalf of everyone who fought on Pogtopia's side, to reclaim a nation they all had lost. In the end he lost it one final time, chunk errored by way of Phil, Techno, and Dream.

And from here on we see a new Tubbo. The bright-eyed, president-elect is no more, and instead he begins to isolate himself from the main server. He retreats to a snowy biome separated by water, and builds a house and gives it a name. Snowchester. Now, most people wouldn't give just a house a name. Even from the start Tubbo was creating a new community, without even realizing. Eventually Snowchester grew to be a legitimate colony of its own, with Jack Manifold, Foolish, and Puffy all moving in and setting up shop. He declares independence, and in doing so, decides he must ensure it any way possible. He's seen what happened to Wilbur's L'Manberg, how helpless the other man was in keeping it safe. He knows he failed his own L'Manberg, and he will not let it happen again.

He hatches a plan with Jack, and the answer is.... Nukes. A bomb, in other words. But instead of using it to destroy his nation, it'll be used to protect it. Tubbo designs it, and they ensure it works with a test launch before decommissioning the remaining two. Time passes and eventually, he's opening up to people again. Tubbo marries Ranboo and they adopt a child together.

Suddenly it's not just Tubbo, it's Tubbo and Ranboo, Tubbo and Michael, and then Tommy is gone. It's shocking, and unexpected, and he doesn't believe it at first. He's been so beaten down under Schlatt's regime he no longer openly shows his emotions, the closest we get to seeing his true grief during this time is when he stares at the memorial he just finished for Tommy in Snowchester. Then comes the anger.

He wants to know how this could've happened, he tries to investigate it, but before he can get too deep into it, Tommy's back. Revived, and Tubbo has had to experience losing him and gaining him back again twice now. Inevitably, like with most of Tommy's plans, Tubbo is roped into his next one. And it's a doozy. Tommy reveals that he wants to kill Dream, to ensure he can never revive anyone else, and Tubbo reluctantly accepts.

One of the most troubling moments during his investigative time was when he made a room for him to fill with his notes and evidence. At first glance it is deeply reminiscent of Wilbur's button room, the walls covered in signs and his lectern in the middle of the room mimicking the button. Because Tommy returns before he can get further in his investigating we'll likely never see this room again, but seeing him make it to begin with filled me with unease.

Tubbo has lost his fear of death. It's first noticed at Doomsday, when he defeatedly jumped in front of Techno's rocket launchers over and over again. We see inklings of it again and again, such as when he scoffs at his chat begging him not to investigate Techno for the TNT at the prison, saying he'd die. Tubbo just replies with "So be it." and continues on. We see it again when he and Ranboo investigate the Eggpire and get caught, and he continues to fight with them until he's only got a few hearts left. He mentions feeling exhilarated, full of life from almost losing his last. It's a reminder of the violent life he's had til this point, his time in the SMP filled with war and bloodshed since the very beginning. He's not afraid to fight despite being on his last life, in fact at times he seems almost ready to end it all.

Yesterday's lore stream was unsettling in a few different ways. The first being Tubbo casually mentioning how his eyes play tricks on him. It's a throwaway mention towards possible hallucinations or paranoia. He also refers to himself as paranoid later on when he's worried someone's hurt Michael, and it bothers him so bad that the next minute he rushes over to ensure Michael is safe. He is willing to do whatever he must now, to ensure Michael can grow up safely, much like Wilbur wanted for Fundy, with no Dream to terrorize the server any longer.

Wilbur's initial wish for L'Manberg once it was fully formed was for it to be a nation his son could grow up safely in, with all the possibilities at his fingertips, until their independence was threatened and he had to focus on leading an army instead of being a father.

But even more upsetting than that, is Tubbo's admission to how he designed the nuke. He tells Jack after one is stolen that there is a manual detonation option, a dead man's switch. He designed the bomb to have a suicidal solo detonation option as a last resort, so if he ever needed to use it and Jack wasn't there he could take matters into his own hands. Tubbo was so ready to ensure if something happened to his self-made colony he could deal his revenge even at the cost of his final life. His reasoning for making the nukes was not for self-defense, it was so he could finally take a swing back at whoever took from him again. He'd seen L'Manberg destroyed twice by people who initially sided with it, had 2 canon lives ripped from him by way of betrayals. He might not have thorns on his armor but by god will his death have them, and heaven help whoever is on the receiving end of his suicide-start nuke.

This mimics Wilbur's final steps but from the logical, more level-headed mind of Tubbo. He's created a bomb, a weapon of destruction he's willing to die with. Wilbur wanted to die with L'Manberg, Tubbo is willing to die for Snowchester.

#tubbo #wilbur #wilbur soot #c!wilbur #c!tubbo #meta #character analysis #trigger warning #tw #suicidal ideations #mentions of death #dream smp #vilbur #tommyinnit #ranboo #jack manifold

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asexualone · 3 years

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(pls take the time to read)

Signs I should have known I was aro: Disney edition

I think this topic has been stressed a lot already. But here is my take, anyway.

Of course, romantic love had been, is and will always be one of the main themes in kids' movies. Why, I can never fully understand. I'll explain below how I like other themes more.

Some time ago, I did a post on the kiss/hug scenes in Rapunzel which depicts how much more I value acts of showing love that don't include kissing.

Not only those two. I have a history of hating Disney on-screen smooches. As a kid, I thought, "Well, maybe, I don't like seeing these characters kiss because it's a grownup thing."

Could you blame me? When my parents were in the room and a kissing scene appeared on the screen, they changed the channel. So my toddler brain concluded that the reason I didn't like watching kisses was because I wasn't of age to like it. Or something.

At the time, I had no idea that I was hand-picking my favorite movies by the level of romance they had in. Or lack thereof. And I was a very judgemental kid. Let's go through my original thoughts on some Disney classics.

Snow White — No. Just no. She's a child, fourteen. Marrying an older guy she doesn't even know. After he kisses her corpse. NO.

Cinderella — The age difference is a little better, I guess. So is the age of consent. But they only talked one (1) night and he relied on that slipper to find her instead of asking to meet all women and see for himself. Fairytale logic I guess. I didn't like how she called it love immediately and kissed the prince at least once that same night. Or how they got married immediately.

The Sleeping Beauty — Must I even explain? Aurora didn't even know Philip that much, had only met him once (if you exclude the "dreams"). And yet, he's her true love, the only one who can revive her corpse. Ridiculous. And yes, kissing a comatose body, ew. Also, the arranged marriage trope pisses me off, royalty or not. Aurora was engaged as a newborn baby, come on.

Mulan — Cinematic gold. I didn't know it back then, but the fact that romantic love is such a pushed-aside aspect in this movie gives me life. The songs give me life. Especially when the trio dresses as concubines and "Be a Man" plays in the background. An absolute gem, lmao. The sequel however ruined the story somewhat for me, too much lovey-dovey stuff. I like Mulan more when she's fighting than when she's acting all sappy towards Shang, sorry not sorry.

Peter Pan — Loved it, still do. But I did dislike the mermaids, the image of fangirls who are petty towards other girls. And Pan's brief "relationship" with Tiger Lily was nauseating to me. I couldn't explain it but when Pan blushed at her nose-nuzzling thing, I always pulled a face.

The Princess and the Frog — In my opinion, (remember, always my opinion): Tiana, this hard-working girl who doesn't belong to anyone, was lost to love. Well, not lost. But falling for Naveen in the course of three days? Unrealistic and kinda unnecessary. Sweet, but still. I adored the "relationship" between Ray and Evangeline more. Either way, it's a movie that I enjoyed when love wasn't that prominent on screen.

Aladdin — I love this movie because of the Genie. The relationship between Jasmine and Aladdin is meh. She forgot his face and didn't recognize him until later. Their coming together is a lot like that trope "first guy who treats her right sets the expectations and wins her heart". Usually that's a thing, not only in Disney movies but media in general. The female lead settles for the first guy that treats her right because the bar is that low. A good movie, all in all. Love how Jasmine stands up for herself at least. Not a lot of princesses fight against the objectification of women.

Pocahontas — I used to hate this movie. I didn't sit right with me: the racism in it, the manipulation, the murders. And the romance, yes. Pocahontas fell for the strange man who tickled her curiosity in the span of two days. I also hated how her father just sold her to marry Kocoum like that. I know it's tradition. Heck, that's a tradition that still goes on in my country. Maybe that's why I didn't like seeing it on screen. And Pocahontas doesn't even end up with John Smith. The second movie definitely ruined the story. So yes, she's the first princess who fell for a man in three days, TWICE. Needless to say, only the songs kept me from blacklisting the movie entirely.

The Little Mermaid — I actually loved this movie for some reason. I can't explain why, maybe it was my obsession with mermaids. Yeah, that was probably it. But I was pissed when Ariel exchanged her tail for legs. Not to mention human periods and overall, all the bad in the world, for a man she'd only seen once. As I grew up I realized just how f*cked up that story was: Ariel giving her entire lifestyle, family and identity up for a guy she hadn't even spoken to. I don't know why I loved that movie, alright? Hell I still do a little. The sequel too. Say what you want.

Brave — (I know this is technically Pixar, shut up) Much like the paradox with Ariel, I didn't like this movie. I can't explain it. Maybe because Merida wasn't the typical Disney princess I had been used to seeing. Now though, I ADORE that story. No, it's not because Merida knows archery... Okay, yes maybe a little. I love the aro-arrow word play, alright? Anyway, the way Merida fights against being shipped to a husband like the "tradition" I aforementioned asks her to, has always had my heart, even when I didn't like the movie. The focus on the mother-daughter relationship is special, I love it. Stellar movie.

Tangled — One of my favorite Disney movies, my favorite princess. But her relationship with Eugene.... Well. Again, three days. That's all it takes to fall in love. Classic of Disney. Not only that, but Eugene is literally the first man person Raps has ever since, besides Gothel. The bar is nonexistent for her, she would have fallen for anyone. He lied to her and she still... Well, I won't stress that any longer. Their relationship in the end is sweet, one of the few cases where we are actually shown that they would risk their lives to save each other. Respect that. Mostly, I love her magical hair and Pascal. And the guys of Snuggly Duckling.

Moana — EPIC MOVIE. The story, the culture, the character growth, the plot twist, everything! Loved it at first sight, at second and forever. Even more when I became aware that there's no romance in it. I don't think I need to say more.

Frozen — My opinions on this movie have always been changing, accompanied by mixed feelings. So the relationship between sisters was cute, but Lilo and Stitch made that more realistic. Anna's relationship with Hans, ugh. I think that for a long time I used the fact that he was the antagonist to justify my absolute hate for the way Anna "fell" for him in one evening. Again, Anna sweetheart. This is the first man you've met. The bar is nonexistent for you too. God bless Elsa for forbidding her to marry Hans. And while it's cute to think Elsa as a lesbian, she has aromantic vibes. Sorry not sorry, but she's also a God by the end of Frozen 2. Gods are beyond attraction, I said what I said.

Raya and the Last Dragon — Loved it, still do. Say what you will about "dragon Elsa". Sisu is her own character, and I adore her. And yes, I love the lack of romance in the movie. Make no mistake, I shipped Raya and Namaari from the first moment they smiled at each other. I swear on my name that I paused the movie and screamed, GAYYYY, at the top of my lungs. Luckily, I was home alone. If only Disney directors would do the right fcking thing and give me a queer main couple!! I swear I wouldn't mind the lovey-dovey romance one bit.

Of course, I've left dozens of movies out. This post is already way longer than I wanted it to be. But I think that was enough to make a point.

While I'm not romance-repulsed, seeing animated kisses (and unnecessary relationships) on screen makes me uncomfortable. As a child and as a grownup. It just doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention all these princesses who identify with their princes and specifically their relationships with said princes when they're perfect on their. Wreck it Ralph 2 made them a favor, I think, by making them work together and showing their strengths. Another movie I love.

Friendship just makes an overall better theme to apply to kids shows, my opinion. Family, work, self-discovery, mental health, happiness. These are all better themes to portray in media dedicated for children. Which is, again, my opinion.

And yes, Disney has been getting better. They've fixed the age difference and the age of consent. The female characters no longer depend on the male ones, at least not as often. They understand the assignment, alright. There are still many questionable things about Disney's reputation though, things we all choose to overlook for the sake of the good movies. But who knows? They might change. Hopefully soon we'll also have an obviously queer couple in a movie. Hope dies last.

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alastanor · 3 years

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In less than a week my feed has been plagued by the "hot takes" of entitled fans of the Hazbin and Helluva universe.

As a result, I know I promised some analytical information regarding what we know of Hazbin's version of hell thus far, which will be included in this post. But there will be some other things added as well to address some of the more frequently expressed "concerns" I have seen being (rather rudely) expressed in posts.

Some of the things I will be talking about in these posts, so while I will be utilizing quotes or things said in @total-mal 's very well articulated response post, I recommend going to read that response post in it's entirety. Like... now.

The complaints I tend to see typically fall along these lines.

So in this post I will be addressing these things and other things I typically see.

Story

As was very well put in the aforementioned post, the series of Hazbin barely has an hour of content. Yet for some reason people complain that it's a mess. How?

The Pilot itself is meant to establish the setting, who the characters are, what their relationships to each other are, establishing dynamic, and establish the premise of future story that is meant to follow. All of these things the pilot did exceedingly well. A pilot is NOT meant to drop dozens of hours worth of world lore and future plot points in one half hour segment. It is supposed to hook people into being interested in and watching the follow up episodes. Which, considering the rather quick cult following that preceded the pilot debut, I would say it did that and more even without the world lore dump people are demanding.

No story is going to give you every facet of the characters and the world they inhabit in the first episode or the first novel. No story worth it's weight in salt, that is. Any good story teller will tell you that content needs to be put on an IV drip as the story progresses, or else you will lose the majority of your audience's interest.

Helluva Boss is it's own standalone project set in the same universe as Hazbin, but it's job is not to provide lore for Hazbin. The kernel of lore we got from episode two was great. But that is very likely not going to be the norm every episode. Nor should anyone expect otherwise.

The comics were also their own projects, meant to strengthen an already existing narrative with Hazbin and establish both Angel and Alastor's motives for joining the Hotel. They are not meant to expand on the lore. Their existence could also very likely be overlooked by fans who only pay attention to what is popping up on Youtube or on their Twitter feed.

As for Addict, that began as a fan-created song Vivzie liked enough to animate into a music video which expanded on Angel and Cherri's relationship. It was not meant to be an entry to any Vivziepop Hell lore.

Hazbin is a story driven by its characters. This is why the characters are the focus and take up the majority of any screen time given to any entry of Hazbin. Mal puts it very well:

World

So this is where we will be getting into what we know so far about the world of Vivzie's hell.

So Vivzie's hell is, from what we understand, loosely based on Dante's inferno with other inspirations and deviations mixed in. For example, there are only seven circles of hell as opposed to 9.

In Dante's inferno only circle two through five are after the Seven Deadly Sins. Whereas in Vivziepop's version of hell, every circle is for one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

From what we understand so far, Pride is the top circle, or Ring. Sinners, AKA those who were alive prior to becoming demons, are only allowed to exist in Pride.

We do not know what "can only exist" means. As this doesn't imply that sinners can't leave Pride. Simply that they cannot exist anywhere else.

And also from what we understand, the big marker that differentiates each of the circles is the colors of the sky.

Pride, from what we have seen thus far, has a red sky.

While Greed has a green sky.

This is further confirmed on Twitter, however whether it was confirmed by Vivzie or one of the other official Twitters, I cannot recall.

Now, I know there are quite a few who keep asking this question.

And there are many who seem to think that this little detail means that the fact dump from official Twitters means the story and lore are ruined. This is actually false. Especially when you consider that Sinners are not a finite population. Nor is their influx a small trickle. So expanding Sinners into other parts of hell is only a temporary solution to a more overarching problem. It may slow down the necessity for purges, but it would also increase the number needed to be purged each time a purge was necessary. Further, it is doubtful that Lucifer would be keen on the idea of angels traveling deeper into Hell just as it is doubtful that he sees a reason to be exceedingly merciful to sinners- the creation he detests and is more or less what brought him to Hell to begin with. It also would erase any place to escape for Hell-born demons.

So in this regard, no. Nothing is ruined. People just aren't paying attention. The devil is in the details, after all.

As for what the difference is between circles and rings, perhaps this will shed some light.

Rings seem to be segments of a circle that separate sinners by the subcategory of their sin in each circle. Whether or not Vivziepop's version of hell follows this, I personally doubt it. Ring and Circle, from observation, seem to be used interchangeably. So the two could very well be the same thing.

The other bits we know are lore facts Vivzie has given previously that may no longer be true as the world exists now. For example, previously Alastor was scared of dogs. But more recently, Vivzie said that is no longer true and Alastor simply just does not like them. So any older facts should be taken with a grain of salt until they are reconfirmed.

Switching gears on the world, there have been complaints popping up that Vivziepop's hell is not "hell-y" enough because there is not enough fire and brimstone.

To take a phrase from total-mal once more, there are countless alternate depictions of hell as hell being other people instead of the place itself. The phrase exists from Sartre's No Exit, but has been revisited numerous times in other media depictions of hell to display that the definition of "punishment" can be broadened to a much larger spectrum than originally imagined.

In the Hazbin universe of Hell, punishment is the constant threat of physical and emotional harm from those around you, not unlike being in prison or living in a ghetto. You have the increased potential to be abused or taken advantage of if you show a moment's weakness.

And while some in the demon hierarchy might have it better than others, there is still the constant threat of being killed or overthrown by someone stronger or someone just wanting to prove themselves.

In the Hazbin universe of hell, you wear clues to your life, your sins, and your death on the outside for all to see (and in some cases, manipulate). You are thrust into a demon hierarchy one wrung up from the lowest class, unless you are lucky and strong enough to become an overlord. In which case, then you are two wrungs up from the lowest class. And your punishment is living every day with the constant threat of those around you. Of always needing to have your guard up because someone will take advantage of you or worse. That isn't even mentioning the annual threat of the purge.

Livestreams

This is another one that I see get mentioned and awful fucking lot in the complaint/concern/hot take posts.

There are always complaints about how the livestreams are useless, serve no purpose, or are just "jerkoff sessions." Mind, these same complaints almost always seem to come from the same people complaining about having no information about the show or having no lore surrounding the universe or the story.

Nevermind that Vivzie and the cast are all under NDA and cannot disclose much that isn't already known about the show and, where VAs are concerned, cannot do any voice lines that go beyond what has already been said in the pilot lines.

The Livestreams serve SEVERAL purposes, however. One of those purposes is to drum up interest surrounding Hazbin and Helluva, as well as to advertise and to disclose any lore that they have permission to disclose to the audience. Something to whet their appetites as they wait for the small Indie studio A24 to finish production of Hazbin's first season in the middle of a pandemic. Because that last bit people seem to forget is still ongoing.

Without those livestreams done by Viv and the cast, many of the impatient fans in this fandom would be practically breaking down the door on Vivzie's DMs demanding to know where Hazbin is or why she seems to have given up on it. Or at least, more than what is currently going on now anyway.

People need to calm down, let the Devs do their job, and pay more attention to the details given in what we have thus far. Vivzie has done a GREAT job at eluding to the bigger picture in her details. Particularly where her characters are concerned. And I for one am here for it.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin hotel info dump #hazbin hotel discourse #hazvin hotel discussion #helluva boss fandom #helluva boss discussion #helluca boss discourse #vivziepop fandom #vivziepop #hazbunnies #entitled fans #impatient fans #toxic fans

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lovely-necromancy · 3 years

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A Cure for Insomnia CH 1.

This is a reader insert I originally started posting on AO3. I’m cross posting here because I know some of the fandom still lives here.

Quick Disclaimer:

This is a fic I'm writing for my own comfort.

I was inspired by RaeBees (you can check out their works over on Quotev and AO3), and how they characterize the "proxies". Having always seen the characters different than most of the fandom I've interacted with I never really shared my thoughts until now. This work is only placed in the Creepypasta tag so it reaches its demographic. However, I am fully aware of the fact that no main character is considered a Pasta.

It may also appear to lean more Toby X Protag in the beginning but end goal is protag with all three, and Brian and Tim already in a relationship. How I picture it now is a slowburn but Toby and Protag will be in a friends with benefits relationship before either has any feelings, so I think that counts. Some may be confused by the asexual protag tag but it'll be explained in story, as an Ace myself I get frustrated with media that only show one version and say it goes for us all. That being said I don't represent the whole Ace community but I hope to provide a bit more representation for some others out there.

Protag will be depicted as agender, and will have a few tics that stem from their Autism. Again I don't speak for any others with Autism but I hope to provide some representation for those in similar positions.

Tags will be updated as the story progresses. Canon-Typical violence and mental health issues are to be expected if you feel uncomfortable with those aspects I advise you to not engage. This story will also have a lot of NSFW themes and scenes so I highly discourage anyone under the age of 18 from viewing this work. You will get warnings on chapters with NSFW and I will make it skippable as well.

I'm also very nitpicky and gave the main characters birthdays just because it irritates me when it gets mentioned once and you have to do the math or imagine your own conversation when a birthday was too close to a character's.

Tim January 1st, home state Alabama

Toby April 28th, home state Virginia (saw this years ago no clue if it's accurate)

Protag May 13th, home state Virginia

Brian May 23rd, home state Alabama

Connor the service dog July 18th, home state Kentucky

I've referred to Protag as Protag here but in story they're referred to as YN.

Everything felt impossibly dull; your senses, the dark room you're currently in, the noise coming from the fan just to the left of the bed on which you laid. Turning to the window beside your head you stare out into that weird midnight summer sky. More of a gray than a true dark blue night, cast in an orange glow that made the night seem closer to day than it truly was. While the time was just half past twelve, you felt it may have been more accurate to say it was closer to four in the morning.

You're exhausted but that true sort of exhaustion where whatever energy you have left buzzes all around. It consumes your entire being, dances between being deafeningly loud in your ears to giving you twitches in your legs. You'd laid down hours ago thinking you'd be tired enough to sleep once your tics started to spasm in closer intervals, but to no avail were you able to rest. That buzzing preventing you from dreamland. Maybe the hum of your body was right, you didn't really need to sleep, you just wanted it to feel normal.

Knowing the battle had already been lost you push yourself off the bed and grab a pair of shorts off the floor. Slipping them on you contemplate your options for the night. Going into town was out since it was Sunday...well Monday now, but there would be nothing but bars open and you were never one for drinking. And as fun as a drive sounds right now, you feel the buzzing in your bones grow stronger, you need to move. A late night hike should keep you occupied, with it being so quiet and the middle of the night you wouldn't even have to take your headphones to cancel out the sounds of other people, you aren't likely to run into many people tonight.

Deciding on a hike you grab a mask and car keys and make your way to your yellow Kia Soul. A going away present from your parents that they gave you the moment you got your driver's license after your 24th birthday. Having anxiety throughout your life you'd never been in the head space to start driving till later on, and while you still don't enjoy driving you are pretty good at it even with your “late” start. Surfing through radio stations as you let the car warm up you find your latest obsession, it's a conspiracy theory podcast that someone in Kepler managed to blast through the limited air ways of the town. Impressive considering Kepler was in a radio quiet zone and even cell phones couldn't work in the small town, luckily you lived just outside of the zone so you could send texts and call your parents every weekend.

It seemed today's episode was a rerun, Mothman: Murderer, Man, or Myth. It was actually one of your favorites, the paranormal stories tended to be more entertaining than hearing about how a man could murder sixteen people while working as a cop ruining evidence to lead the others off his trail. Humans could be more vial and cruel than any little gray alien from the future or tall Fresno Nightcrawler could ever be. And they weren't as entertaining to hear about, nor were their exploits as impressive. You could always see patterns, either connecting clues first or finding connections no one else saw, it was never hard to tell where a certain case would lead so you'd always end up disappointed in humanity when they overlooked such obvious clues. Though that often led you down a path of deep diving for information to see just how obvious it was, more often than not you'd find that the most logical conclusion was shady public officers. After investigating so many cold cases you're sure if you're ever in trouble you'll never involve the police, in the end they'd probably just ignore you and rule your case closed if anything ever did happen to you.

'I'd haunt them if they did.' You decide and you shift gears and begin driving to the Monongahela National Forest, as the timeline of Mothman sightings and events play out before for your ears.

Instead of going through town and possibly loosing the signal of the show, you drive on the old dirt road that runs along the very edge of the town, partially covered in trees. This over grown road is the main reason Kepler doesn't see many visitors, the second someone makes their way onto it coming off the interstate they floor it until they see civilization. Over the few months you've been here you've nearly been run right off the road by spooked tourists, trying to escape whatever ghouls their wild imaginations created. The only real thing on this road was a mini mart gas station, and even though it was shady as hell the cashier didn't bug you too much when you came in in the dead of night. Plus they had a cat, how could you not stop in and say hi to little ole Magnolia?

Speaking of which you should probably get a drink for your hike, you could already feel your throat drying out. Turning into the parking lot you're happy to see no other cars around, putting your face mask on you make your way inside. As usual the store is dead at this time, and Ronnie is manning the desk. What's unusual is the man also behind the counter, he has dark brown hair that he's tied into a small and low ponytail, thick sideburns frame his face. You immediately take note of the slight imperfections of his face, most would see the slit in his eyebrow as following the current trend or even just a genetic thing, but you can see the slightly off color of a healed scar that starts just above his eyebrow and ends mid eyelid, he has a few smaller discolorations on his crooked nose, you'd guess he's had it broken at least twice.

Briefly taking a glance to his brown eyes before looking away, today is not an eye contact day. Nodding in their directions, the best acknowledgment you can give right now, you make your way to the freezers. From the freezer section you can hear Ronnie “explain” you.

“That's YN, a regular mainly at night though. A bit skittish and rarely ever says more than 'thanks have a nice day'” Even though she's whispering you can hear everything. Including the high octave her voice takes to mimic you, it feels more like mocking.

If being mocked hadn't already put you on edge the eyes boring into you have. The eyes may not be roaming over your body but the icky crawling of your skin sure makes it feel that way. The feeling of being put under a microscope has always made you sick, the stares, the leers and sneers, and the judgment just makes you want to implode on the spot. Cease existence, be swallowed into the abyss. You're about to set yourself into an anxiety attack with all these thoughts.

'Mask, mask, mask' you repeat over and over in your head, it's the only thing you can focus on. You are wearing a mask, there is one thing they can't perceive, the face is the most important for humans to perceive, your mask protects you.

Without looking you pull a water bottle from the cooler. You don't think you like this brand but the sports mouth makes up for it, and you can't focus enough to grab another. As the imaginary spiders crawl their way under your skin and your breath hitches you make your way over to the counter head down, never looking up at the employees beyond the counter. Your vision is blurring in time with the beating of your heart, you can't tell if it's due to nerves or from being up for five days in a row.

“Hey YN, how're you?” Ronnie asks, her tone is different from the past times you've been in. It's higher and has a lilt in it that you'd expect from a teasing friend. But Ronnie isn't a friend and has never spoken to you like this, you hate it. You nod to politely move on with the process, between the crawling of your skin and the buzzing underneath it you feel sick. And you're now very aware of the existence of your eyelids, you try to focus on ignoring that awareness. You need to move.

“Hmm, that's good. Anyway this is Tim! He's just started so go easy on him.” you hear the sound of a hand hitting fabric and assume she's patted Tim's shoulder as she introduced Tim to you. Why was she doing this, what purpose could introducing you two have? You nod again, was anyone going to ring you out?

“Hi, this all?” a deep voice asked, it isn't extremely deep more of a standard baritone that has a slight raspy quality, probably a reformed smoker. You don't smell cigarettes currently so he could've quit after years. Unfortunately despite your efforts to stave them off your blinking tics emerge. Making it difficult to keep your eyes open for longer than a nano second.

Startled and ticcing you look up and catch his eyes, you see pity in them, before casting your glance back to the counter. You can never tell what's worse people seeing you as weird or seeing you as something needing to be fixed. Nodding again, Tim tells you the total; a dollar fifty eight, and you hand him two dollars from your wallet.

Tim doesn't ask if you want the receipt or a bag, he prints out the receipt and hands you your change. The change goes immediately into the cat food fund for Magnolia. She got diagnosed with diabetes about a month ago and having worked in shelters and pet stores you know just how expensive her prescription food is. After folding the receipt into your wallet, Tim gently slides the water bottle over to you.

“Have a good night.” he says it so low and gentle, as if he thinks you'll shatter in front of him. As kind as the gesture seems, you aren't that fragile...or maybe you are if you have to keep repeating 'mask' over and over in your head to ground yourself. With a final nod you turn and make your way to the door, and just as you open it you hear Ronnie call out.

“Awwww, c'mon YN at least say 'Hi' to Tim.” You really don't like how she squeaked out 'hi'.

Taking a deep breath you prepare yourself, you'll show them both you can do this simple task. Even if you can't stop blinking long enough to see straight. Once you've steadied yourself you turn and look at Tim. He's sending you a look that says 'You don't have to' all that's missing is a slow head shake to complete his unease with this “peer pressure”.

But you can do this you can say 'Hi, Tim.' Two words super simple, nothing complex like 'Hi, Tim, nice to meet you.' and so much better than the option of your next meeting saying 'Hi, Tim. Sorry for spazzing out the other night.'. Yup you can do this just breathe, you open your mouth and...and you've forgotten what to say. Looking like a deer in headlights, well at least the tics stopped, you say the first thing that pops in.

“Mask.” You've said it loud and clear both cashiers heard you.

Tim stares with wide eyes and you see Ronnie failing to hide her laughter. Out of all the ways this could've gone this was probably the best outcome for her. The blinking has started up again, this time growing more frequent. You can't even hold your eyes open, to the two cashiers it must look like you're in pain or crying. And while you want to die of embarrassment, crying is a bit of an extreme for you.

So with red face and the inability to see you leave through the door, and try to make your way back to your car. Once in you lock the doors, switch the car on, and rest your head on the steering wheel. Out of every way this stop could've gone, being perceived by a new comer and Ronnie was not what you expected. While this hadn't been the worst five minutes or so of your life, it definitely would be another thing keeping you up at night for the next twenty years.

Calming down in the cool quiet dark of your car your slowly brought back to the world by the beginning of a new episode. This one talking about the Tailypo legend. A favorite story of yours from when you were a kid living on the coast of Virginia. So with yet another deep breath and the wave of nostalgia, you pull out of the parking lot and slowly coast down the old dirt road. Heading yet again for the Monongahela forest.

It's nearly two in the morning when you roll up to see an RV parked by the forgotten entrance of the park. It isn't surprising at all to find an RV out here since the Monongahela Forest is one of the most beautiful parks you've ever been to. You also don't think anything of them being parked by this unused entrance because you use it all the time since finding it accidentally. Figuring they just wanted to camp and be left to their own devices rather than use the RV sites and be bothered with other campers here for the summer.

Climbing out of your car you notice the RV isn't new by any means but it isn't a total rust bucket either, looks like it's been passed around throughout the years. There isn't anything to suggest it's been here a while, nothing left set up outside, must have just gotten into town then. You do happen to notice dog tracks around the sandy dirt you've parked in, good to know they have a dog before you slammed your car door. Closing the door gently behind you so you don't startle a pup and wake up it's owner or owners, you make your way through the woods. No real direction in mind, with no real thought in your head. Just the thought of moving and to keep on moving.

You could walk the same path every time you came through and always find something different. In fact that's exactly what happens, you're almost positive that you've deepened the imprint of the path just from walking through several times a week. Following the same winding path you usually do, climbing over the fallen tree, and through a scattering of blueberry thicket's you find yourself on the edge of one of the forest's many streams. It's your favorite spot in the forest so far, and about as far as you've gotten considering these hikes of yours take place during the dead of night.

The wind picks up and sends a chill through you, taking that as a sign you slide down to sit by the stream. Vans placed to your side as you sink your feet into the cool water. It's peaceful out here, so cool, and quiet, save for the slight noises the stream makes, various bubbling and drips. You try to think on things like your recent move, your job, the embarrassing 'mask' incident, just life in general. But you can't seem to form a single thought, this happens a lot, you've recently been conscious of the fact that you've been running on auto pilot for the past two months, hell a lot longer than that. You think everyone must get like this from time to time, but you think you've always been this way. Keen to dissociating and slipping in and out of existence.

It's quite nice really, except for the times like right now where you'd love to figure out why the silence in your head is so painfully loud. The more you think on it the louder it gets and the stronger the buzzing under your skin feels. And right now the static in your mind has been getting louder and louder for the past few minutes. You feel your head jerk to the right of it's own accord, moving back in place it happens for a second time, and then a third, then jerks up, before jerking a forth time to the right effectively cracking you neck.

“There we go.” you mumble, you can relax a bit as the verbal tic indicates the end of this round of tics.

Sighing you look at the sky...that can't be right. The sky has been painted it's fresh baby blues for the day, but again that can't be right. You just got to the stream, that path is a thirty minute walk meaning it should be just about two thirty in the morning, but the sky suggests it's five or six at the latest. Reaching for your water bottle you find it empty next to you. You didn't fall asleep you know that much, perhaps you did dissociate tonight. Well this hike was disappointing if you knew you were going to dissociate you'd have saved yourself that embarrassment and stayed home. Maybe done some painting or tidied up.

Sighing you push yourself off the ground, collecting you vans you're about to put them on when you notice a figure off in the distance. You freeze out of shock and stare at the figure, it stares back. The figure is about ten yards away, god your near sighted ass should really remember to not leave your glasses in the car when hiking. The figure starts to make it's way to you and after a few steps you realize it hasn't moved from it's spot. Rolling your eyes you ignore the hallucination.

You'd really needed to get sleep last night, today is day six of no sleep and though you haven't had many episodes these past few days, you have a feeling they'll start to get more prominent today. Hopefully tonight you can manage to get some rest, the longer you go without sleep the more realistic the hallucinations become. But for today you're content with the knowledge that it's just shadow like beings that you'll be seeing.

After putting on your shoes you start the thirty minute hike back to your car. You're thankful for the weather in Kepler, nothing like back on the coast. Here you can go for a morning hike through the forest while a gentle breeze passes by and the sun starts to give the area a pleasant warmth. Back on the coast you couldn't run and grab the mail without getting drenched in moisture from either sweat, humidity, or a mixture of both. The coast sucks, hell Virginia sucks altogether, you're glad to be in Kepler.

“I want to go home, home.” you say out of nowhere.

Before you reach the entrance you hear barking, oh the RV campers must be up. Should you be careful not to scare them, or just walk normally and say 'Good morning' in passing, maybe just nod your head in greeting. Oh and you've stopped just beside the entrance as you got lost in your rambling. You didn't mean to come to a stop here, and as you try to move you notice how silent it's gotten. Did the dog go inside, maybe they've already passed...no it's too quiet for that. No the silence is oppressive like the one you deal with nightly, there's a reason for the silence. The situation's making you feel uneasy, but that could be the sleep deprivation talking.

You're about to brush it off and move when you hear a whispered, “Seriously man, I don't think anyone's out there. Let's get inside.”

There's a noise of agreement before you hear shuffling. Oh no, you zoned out and now you look like a weirdo stalker. Just perfect, maybe if you wait around a little more you'll seem more normal or at least feel normal. Not knowing how long to wait you walk along the tree line for a bit, looking at the ground as you do making sure you won't step on any snakes. In you quest to not step on any snakes you spot something suspiciously off white. It seems purposefully buried under a dead blueberry bush and some fallen branches.

Having listened to too many true crime shows, you know better than to implicate yourself in a murder. Grabbing a stick off the ground you gently brush the foliage away from the supposed corpse. No way, you can't believe your luck, it's an actual fucking skull. An intact skull of a deer! That is so cool, you've only seen taxidermists on TikTok getting so lucky and finding these dudes. Since the jaw bone is connected by tissue it of course isn't with the skull but maybe it's close by? Clearly this got planted or hidden by someone, maybe they were planning on pranking a friend by 'uncovering' a skull later. Oh well, finders keepers and all that, you have way better plans for this guy, hopefully you can find that jaw bone.

You set off searching through the foliage and near by bushes with the branch while holding the skull in your other arm. After searching about three feet around and finding no more bones you decide that this is the only part of the deer's skeleton in this area. A little disappointed but still thrilled with your find, you decide it must be a good time to go back to your car.

Surely you won't look weird now. You a little forager with their treasure in hand. Looks like you'll be busy cleaning, then bleaching, and cleaning these bones today. Is that the order to treat found bones? You aren't sure but you can look into that later. Placing the skull in the trunk so it doesn't roll about and get damaged you make sure it's secure before closing the trunk and getting into your car and locking the doors.

Not once did you notice the pairs of eyes that had been watching you. One watching as you found the deer skull, and the other set seeing you place bones into your car. They kept watching as you fiddled with the radio while the car was starting up. They watched as you pulled out of the sandy dirt lot and drove back down the old road a little faster than before now that you could clearly see.

#creepypasta fanfic #ticci tobyx reader #brain thomas x reader #timothy wright x reader #masky x reader #hoodie x reader #reader insert #no clue if I'm reaching a wider audience than AO3 but I'll try this out #Crossposted #as of now 13 chapters are over on AO3 if you wanted to read #other wise I'll post a chapter every 3 days on here until I catch up with AO3 #Ao3 has priority #A cure for insomnia

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juleswolverton-hyde · 3 years

Text

Not by the Moon | 07

Genre: Smut, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Drama, Tragedy, Werewolf AU, Supernatural AU, Bookshop AU

Pairing: Bookshop keeper!/Werewolf!JB x Reader

Warnings: A philosophical slant, (heavy) angst, Werewolf!Jaebeom being absolute hubby material, Werewolf!Jaebeom being awkward and (a bit of a) pervert, domestic fluff, talk of medication, apparently werewolves don’t like to wear clothes (what is my canon...), talk of life and death, mention of blood, mild swearing

Summary: Every story has a purpose or goal it is dedicated to, their authors at times going to great lengths to see the project they once started to completion. Nevertheless, the things the writers swore on to see their latest art piece to completion are static.

Unchanging.

None of them swore by the Moon nor Love because they can solely genuinely swear on all that changes like themselves.

And yet, a wolf in love foolishly swore by the moon.

That is when Time truly started ticking.

Author’s Note: This chapter is from Jaebeom’s POV.

Well, here it is, earlier and much longer than originally planned. It’s also a lot more tragic and philosophical than I intended it to be, but then again, what else can you expect from a tragedian fascinated by the human condition even as it is translated into the realm of the magical?

I think I just thought of the modern literary movement I might belong to: magic realism.

It’s a crying shame the Decadent Movement isn’t active anymore, though, because that one truly feels like a good fit for me both as an author and an individual. Ah well, c’est la vie.

Previous Chapter / Next chapter

Masterlist

There is nothing better for a wolf than being with its mate.

Well, there is one thing.

Having them completely at your mercy as you’re inside them.

I still don’t understand what the plastic wrapping is good for, but Jinyoung was very insistent on using it while we drove to the airport. And Y/N seemed glad I had whatever it is, her scent even betraying a hint of relief. However, one day, I hope she’ll tell me not to use it.

No, that’s not right. There’s a word for the… whatever it is.

A condom.

That’s the word.

I hope she’ll tell me not to use a condom. It doesn’t matter whether I’m in season or not, although the chances she’ll pup are higher if I am. I want pups with her, a little pack of our own. I want it to be our toddler running around the park, chasing its sibling. Then again, will I remain human long enough to see them grow up?

Will I even remember their birth on the day they’re born?

Will I still be here?

Or remain without a family, a proud bloodline?

I slowly open my eyes, blinking a few times to get used to the sunlight bathing the room in a warm golden hue, swallow hard and force myself to calm down. There is no use in contemplating this now, not this early in the day nor in our time together. What counts is that I’m here now with Y/N in my arms and we’re in her apartment somewhere.

A faint whiff of brine seeps in through the air cleaner filter above the window overlooking the city. A gull flies by and lands on the roof of the building opposite ours.

Sea. Rusted metal. Right, the old harbour.

A high-pitched noise, a disquiet hum followed by a sigh, makes my ears perk up. I look down at the lady sleeping on my chest, curled up and fingers balled into small fists similar to a bunny’s paws. More importantly, however, she’s perfectly alright and was only unconsciously trying to get more comfortable.

A breathless chuckle rises in my throat at the display. Y/N’s adorable even when she’s fast asleep, her lips parted yet not enough to allow drooling.

I, on the other hand, am another story. I don’t do it often, but I must have been so tired last night I triggered the habit. The finger I swipe over the corners of my mouth comes away wet both times.

Oh no, I didn’t drool on her, did I? Would she mind, though, if I explained it’s a sign I’m comfortable with her?

It isn’t hard to guess the answer to the question. She would beat me over the head, likely with a shoe, and say I’m not allowed to bite her at all anymore. Not even in the future.

In a hurry to discover whether I made the fatal mistake, I check her messy hair but keeping my movements controlled to not wake her up. Fortunately, there are no locks sticking together nor a trail running down over the side of her face.

With a deep sigh, I slump further down into the bed again and kiss her crown. However, I don’t go back to sleep despite the comfort of the sheets. Instead, I lift the lady’s head and gently put her down on the pillow as I get up, carefully calculating every movement like I do when hunting to make sure she won’t wake up or notice my absence in her unconscious state.

The faint smell of burned iron comes from somewhere when I rearrange the sheets to bundle Y/N up. My mouth dries up, throat blocked by something I can’t swallow as a familiar stench disturbs the morning happiness. Former intentions abandoned, I claw through the sheets to try and discover where the rank odour comes from.

Did I hurt her? Is she bleeding? Why is she bleeding? Where is it? Where’s the blood?

As suspected, the frantic search wakes the pretty lady. Propped up on an elbow, eyes half-closed and brows furrowed, she turns to me. “Jae, what-’’ she yawns, “What’re you doing?”

Barely has she asked the question or I find what I’ve been looking for.

On her side of the bed, between her thighs, is a puddle of dried blood.

Where did it come from? Did I… Did I do this?

I grab her by the shoulders and pull her close to check her condition, turning her this way and that as each thought grows more troubled. “Are you okay?” There’s nothing to see on the bare skin of her upper body. “Are you hurt?”

Maybe the wound is somewhere lower, on her hip or leg. I didn’t bite her last night. Right? I didn’t hurt her. At least, I don’t think I did. No. Surely the wolf- I wouldn’t harm her. I had enough control to prevent that from happening. Yes, that’s the case.

But then, with a fading mind, how much can I trust myself?

“Jaebeom, I’m fine. What are you- ah.” Y/N notices the spot of dark crimson when I pull the sheets completely off the bed and toss them aside. She lets out an incomprehensibly careless chuckle, evidently oblivious to the gravity of the situation.

“What are you giggling about? Y/N, you’re bleeding!” I bark, lost.

A small paw cups my cheek, her thumb caressing the skin in an attempt to calm me down. “You took my virginity. It’s natural to bleed a little when that happens.”

“Are you still in pain?” Even though it’s natural, surely it’s not without repercussions. Otherwise, the stain wouldn’t be there.

“No, I’m not, silly. I’m okay.” She kisses the tip of my nose when I let out a whine, unhappy with the response. Withal, a curious tone in her voice overtakes my own displeasure. “Are you?”

Why do you say it like that?

She sounds weird, hinting at something I’m supposed to find as obvious as she. Yet, I have no clue about what it can be. So, I tilt my head and stare blankly at her, waiting for an explanation. “I’m fine.”

My choice of words makes her visibly flinch despite the effort to hide it. The sleepiness which glazed her eyes evaporated, leaving them devoid of the amusement at my failure as a human. The recognizable sour note of anxiety creeps back into her scent, setting off alarm bells in my mind. “I’m alright. No pain. Happy to be here. Happy to wake up next to you.”

I rub her arms in a poor attempt to make her calm down, have her scent return to its spring-like fruitiness. She is supposed to smell like fresh fruit still hanging from the trees, yet to ripen. Not like fallen fruit beginning to decay in the summer sun.

“Okay,” is all she says in response before she pulls away, the absence of the warmth of her palm sending a cold shiver throughout my body.

The world always seems a little colder without her.

“Want breakfast?” A low grumble pierces the silence following the question, giving me enough of a response. And a reason to get my head, no, that’s not the idiom. To get my thoughts ordered. Organized. To get my thoughts in order? To think about… stuff. Last night. This. Everything. “Never mind. I’m making you breakfast. You have to eat.”

I stand up and head for the bathroom to first get rid of the weird plastic wrapping she put on me last night. Having thrown it in the bin there after a bit of an awkward struggle removing it, I move to the kitchen. Nevertheless, I don’t start preparing food right away. Instead, I pick up the grey hoodie I gave her from the bag between the sofa and chair facing the kitchen. I remember how she held it up to her nose, breathed in and basked in the scent.

My scent.

A fragment of last night’s memory.

I remember we had sex and that she told me I’m her first, but afterwards things are blurry.

Smell. I said something about how nicely she smells. Not really an original compliment since I’ve said it a lot already, but I can’t help but focus on it.

And then…

Then…

Then instinct took over because I let it, thinking I’d remain in control even though I let go a little. After all, I’ve learned enough to know how to deal with the wolf inside thanks to the rehabilitation procedure Jinyoung put me through and supervised. Since then, there’s been a healthy balance between human and beast in my mind.

Or, rather, there was one.

I think.

Another boundary to watch out for. I have to keep myself in check. No more experimenting.

Because to do so is to forget.

And I want to remember.

I stop absent-mindedly thumbing the piece of clothing, drape it over the armrest of the sofa and head into the kitchen to make breakfast. Unfortunately, the fridge quickly brings my plan to a halt, empty except for a pack of soy milk and a tray of eggs. The groceries Jinyoung and I got were only enough for dinner last night and there are no leftovers.

To be fair, she did just come back from a trip abroad. But still, is there really nothing to work with?

I sigh in defeat and grab the plant-based milk to pour it over the apple and cinnamon granola I find in the cupboard above the sink. At least it’s food and drink in one meal.

From the drawer next to the oven, I grab two spoons which I put into the bowls, grab the hoodie from the couch and return to the bedroom.

Y/N sits with her back turned to me, but flips around a little too fast for my liking once she hears my paws approaching. “Jaebeom?”

The terrible mixture of barely suppressed horror and genuine concern in her gaze has translated into her voice, which is cold and calculating. The sour note of anxiety hasn’t faded from her scent, creating a stone to sink to the bottom of my stomach because there’s only one thing that can be a distressing factor this early in the day.

Me.

Withal, the reason why she’s scared puzzles me since I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary. I’ve simply been me since I woke up.

Human.

Although, that’s me now.

Last night, I don’t know who or what I was though it isn’t hard to guess.

The pretty lady traces the deep indentation in the headboard of the bed with her fingers bent to resemble a claw. “Did you do this?”

Did- Did I? No. I- I don’t know. I was less strict with myself last night and don’t remember much, but surely I wasn’t gone enough to do this.

I hope.

I think.

I’m not sure.

But the reality provides the necessary evidence to repute any kind of denial I can offer.

I set the bowls down on the nightstand and crawl back on the bed to sit next to her. Gently, I nudge her hand aside to mimic her action, my own fingers perfectly fitting into the large gash. “I don’t know.”

A surge of violence shoots throughout my body, triggering the nagging feeling of a forgotten memory strong enough to knock the air out the lungs and split my skull with flashes of a memory. Nevertheless, the fragments pass by too fast to make sense of them and the mere attempt to do so worsens the headache. I flinch and scramble backwards with a paw- a hand pressed to my head as if I can thus suppress the pain. Yet, I remain unable to look at anything but the damage.

“I don’t know,” I repeat, my voice hardly louder than a scared whisper.

“I felt your skin move beneath my fingers last night,” Y/N starts, catching my attention with the timid response suggestive of requiring more explanation.

Exactly what I don’t have since I can’t even explain it myself.

This shouldn’t be happening.

“I think I did, at least,” she adds doubtfully on a shivery breath. The sourness sweetens to doubt instead of anxiety. Nonetheless, it’s still worrying she’s ill… uncomfortable.

“Did I-“ I swallow hard, forcing out the words describing my worst nightmare. “Did I transform?”

“Transform?’’ She briefly turns her gaze from me to the indentation, lips parted in an attempt to articulate a thought that’s dismissed with a headshake the second thereafter. Her attention returns to me, her expression slackened. ‘’What are you- What… No, you didn’t, but you looked far away. Retreated further into your own world, more so than you normally are.”

“That’s good,” I mumble, nodding as I, too, briefly return my attention to the claw mark. “Was human. Good.”

Still, need to talk to the weird-smelling intruder. Doctor. Friend. Name, his name. Jinyoung. Jesus, man, get yourself together. Your name is Im Jaebeom. You’re a twenty-eight old werewolf that- no, who runs a bookshop called Paper Souls. Jinyoung is your friend, doctor and supervisor appointed to you by... by... some organization.

“Jaebeom,” the pretty lady puts her hand on my shoulder, features softened instead of frozen and marred by fear, “have you taken your medication yet?”

The natural fruity undertone seems forced to be stronger.

You should be scared. I might have- I made that claw mark. Why treat me like a human? I’m a wolf.

“Me- Med-“ The strange word barely registers until a spark of humanity recalls its definition. “Medication. Pills. No, I- I haven’t.”

“Let me grab a glass of water and get them.”

She ruffles my hair, jumps off the bed and rushes out of the room. I listen to her bare feet lightly treading the floor as she moves on the other side of the wall, hurried steps going from the hallway, where she rummages in my coat for the rattling bottle of pills, to the kitchen. There, she opens a cupboard to grab a glass. The loud clinking of glass alongside the sour undertone in her scent indicates she almost accidentally caused several to fall out and break on the tiles. Fortunately, judging by the deep sigh of relief, Y/N could prevent it from happening.

She turns on the tab, fills the glass with water, turns the tab off and walks back into the room.

“There you go,” she says, handing me the small brown bottle and water.

The mattress dips a bit when she sits down next to me with one of the bowls filled with cereal in her hands. After stirring the spoon around like she is trying to evade something, Y/N finally takes a first careful bite. Nevertheless, she starts eating properly after I kiss her temple, which is an apparently effective form of encouragement. I have to remember that.

Quietly seated in the golden sunlight, we have our first breakfast together. I don’t mind her watching me as I’m taking my medication, measuring out the amount Jinyoung told me to take. Or, rather, as much as the label notes I should. Immediately my gag reflex is triggered when I put them in my mouth, the taste of bitter metal extremer than before so it’s like licking one of the rusted over buoys drifting in the harbour.

He’s increased the nightshade and silver. Damn, I think even the worst coffee tastes better than this.

“That bad?”

“Yep.” I open and close my mouth, nauseous due to the sickening taste lingering on my tongue. To prevent the bile rising in my throat from escaping, I gulp down the water. Unfortunately, it only washes down part of the bitterness.

She holds up a spoon with milk-soaked granola to feed to me, but I turn it down and shake my head. I might actually throw up if I eat anything right now.

Disappointment flashes across her face, though it’s gone in an instant as she puts her bowl down and stands up. “Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

“But... food,” I meekly offer and point at the half-empty bowl on the nightstand. She should put herself before me.

Because I’ll be fine.

“We’re missing something important. Coffee,” the bunny-like lady playfully responds before she bounces off again to the kitchen.

The pleasant and slightly sweet scent of instant cappuccino warms the apartment, replacing the sharp scent of frozen water alluding to hail later on in the day. It’s a little early in the year, but soon the first snows will fall.

Hopefully, she’ll move before then so we can spend Christmas in her cottage. Although, it doesn’t even have to be the holidays. I’d light a fire, drape a blanket over our shoulders and keep Y/N close to warm her with mine as we read and look at the snowfall.

Like a snowflake falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling before our eyes, so we pass through life. At this rate, I think the next snowfall might be the last I’ll see.

Consciously.

Meaningfully.

Like a human.

The snowflake will faintly fall on the man I am, descend on the husk I’m becoming, while she will continue living.

Without me.

The living and the dead.

I smile wistfully until the same shot of pain treks through me as when I tried to fill in the gaps of the fragmented memory. Folded in on myself, cold sweat on my skin and short of breath, I press my palms against my snout to push the agony away.

The pained groaning must have alarmed the pretty lady because she rushes to my side and pushes one of the mugs in her little paws… hands in mine. “Here, take a sip. The caffeine will help.”

As told, I nip at the hot beverage. Indeed, the cappuccino lessens the headache and cold shivers that ran down my spine and threatened to spread. Though I dislike instant coffee, it actually tastes good when she prepares it. I sigh in relief, blow on the coffee to cool it down, and slowly drink it while Y/N caresses my jaw and ear just the way I like it. At the same time, she comforts me with her soothing voice, murmuring words of solace and assurance as she sits down next to me again.

I could listen to you all day. Maybe I should ask you to read to me sometime. Although, not maybe. I’ll ask it later. Note to self, write a note on your phone to ask her to read to you. Also, make note of kissing her temple.

My reverie is broken up by a comment which rubs me the wrong way. “I have to go to the office later today-’’

“Already? You just got home.”

“They’re counting on me, Jae. Besides, I’m not that jet-lagged.”

“It’s not healthy. You should stay home. Rest,” I bark. Her eyes widen, taken aback by my bluntness.

She opens and closes her mouth, planning to say something yet deciding against it. Instead, she tugs my ear. “I’ll be fine. And you have your shop to look after, so let’s both work hard today.”

“Still,” I take another sip, “I don’t think you should go.”

“As long as I have caffeine, I should be able to manage. How about this? I’ll come to your shop as soon as I’m done with work and cook for us. We’ll have a cosy night in like we had last night.”

“Last night was ‘cosy’ indeed,” I murmur, hoping she catches on to what I’m alluding to.

“It was. I really liked it.” Her lashes flutter with the memories of last night, cheeks tinged pink. Unfortunately, the heartstopping girlish giggle is short-lived and becomes serious too soon. “But while I did, I think we shouldn’t do it again so soon.”

“Agreed,” I respond, mind occupied by the ripples of transformation and the splashes of pain wanting to remember something significant only communicated in incomprehensible flashes.

Distorted.

Like the memories of the forest.

I need to call Jinyoung. He needs to know.

“What shall we eat tonight?”

The change in subject is welcome, but also a confusing bridge to cross. How can humans go from severe to casual without a care? The aspect of communication has me furrow my brows as I try to work out the mech… work… nuts and bolts behind it. Nevertheless, I answer the question. “I thought you had a plan already.”

The corners of her mouth curl up into a cat-like grin. “I have no idea, so that’s why I’m asking you. You’re a better chef than I am.”

“I’m not that good,” I murmur, my ears lowered like a shy pup. “But I’d like something we can make together.”

“Pancakes?”

“Yes!’’ I bark, leaning in and grabbing the sheets to contain the excitement at cooking together. ‘’Yes, I’d like that!”

A flicker of doubt passes over her face, hesitant in the way she tends to be when it concerns food. However, a second later, she taps me on the nose with a content hum. “Pancakes it is.”

While Y/N showers, I clean the dishes and pull the sheets off of the bed so she can bring them to the laundry. Although, maybe I could do it myself. I’d have to text Jinyoung for instructions since he always does mine, but even then it shouldn’t be too difficult. Humans do laundry all the time. It’s part of their routine and if they can do it, so can I.

I hope.

As I’m making the bed and contemplating the process to get at least the blood stain out of the fabric, my mate walks back into the room. Her wet hair is bundled up in a towel that’s smaller than the one wrapped around her body. The addition of the scents of cherry blossoms and matcha to the blend of summer fruits drives me dizzy as she moves to the wardrobe.

I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help looking as the towel falls to the floor to reveal her naked body. An appreciative growl unconsciously rises from my throat, a surge of heat culminating between my legs.

Just one more time. I’ll keep myself in check. Behave. I’ll behave.

“Jaebeom,” cheeks flushed, Y/N glances over her shoulder, “don’t even think about it.”

“Sorry,” I mumble as I shuffle to her side to help her put on her bra by closing the clasps. When they click in place, I place a kiss between her shoulder blades, feeling her shiver against my lips. “I know what we agreed on.”

I wrap my arms around her waist and let my head rest on her shoulder. Eyes closed, I try to keep a clear mind as she scratches me behind the ear.

“It’s not necessarily... that.” Her voice is light, wanting to move past the concerns of last night with humour. “It’s rather the thought I wouldn’t get to leave for the office at all if we go back to bed.”

“You’re right.” I decide to play along, if only to give us both some peace of mind. So, I bury my nose in the side of her neck, nuzzling her and earning myself a bird-like giggle that spreads a nice fuzzy feeling inside. “I wouldn’t let you go. We’d read the day away with coffee.”

“Tea, in your case. Doctor’s orders. I don’t want you bouncing around the place. You’re my calm, well, sort of calm bookish wolf. Not a supercharged husky.”

It’s a lame joke, but nevertheless makes me laugh.

“What will you wear today?” I ask, glancing at the clothes on the hangers.

Here and there, there’s a colourful item in the collection. Withal, the majority of the items are mono… one-toned... black and white items to be switched up with a dark-shaded checkered blouse.

My attention drifts to the long white dress with lemons. The fabric is on the thin side, which makes it suitable for summer or a warm spring.

I’d love to see you in that dress, if only just once.

She pouts her lips. “I was thinking about grey high-waisted jeans with a black button-up shirt and ankle boots.”

“Wear my hoodie,” I whine, upset my… my girlfriend. That sounds nice. My girlfriend. It makes me upset that my girlfriend doesn’t plan on wearing one of the things I gave her. “You like the grey one, right?”

“I do, but-’’

“Then wear it.”

She sighs, shakes her head and turns around to look up at me. “There’s something like a dress code at the office.”

“Don’t care.” I nudge her nose with mine, bark lowered to a woof to persuade her to go with my choice. “You’ll look better. More pretty.”

“If you put a pair of boxers on, I’ll wear the hoodie. Deal?”

“But they’re uncomfortable. I only wore them because Jinyoung told me to.”

“Then I won’t wear the hoodie.” Little devilish will-o’-the-wisps light up her eyes as the corners of her mouth curl up into a taunting grin. “Shame. Now my colleagues won’t get to see I have a boyfriend.”

The tables have flipped since I’m apparently not the only one who’s good at using their charms.

Nevertheless, reluctant to start a fight over this, I let out a compromising chuff. “Okay, fine.”

Humans and their clothes. I like yours, but you’d look even better in mine. Still, I’m only doing this because I want every male at your office and in the city to know you’re mine.

No matter what size they are, clothing is a thing I absolutely haven’t missed. Notwithstanding, to please my mate, I wriggle myself back into the tight short trousers and the loose pants to wear over them. Y/N gives me a warning look when she sees me fumbling with my shirt, hopefully missing out on the obvious clue I secretly hope she’ll let me off easy.

Of course she doesn’t.

“Yes, Jae, also the shirt,” she chastises me like a mother disciplines a rebellious pup. “And the shoes. You don’t want other people to call the cops after seeing a naked man in the streets.” Unaware of the fact I can hear her perfectly even as she mutters under her breath, she adds. ‘’Or me to pick you up at the police station because of it.’’

Amused by the funny image the fantastical scenario creates in my mind, I relent. “Yes, ma’am.”

Once we’re both dressed, Y/N makes way for the bathroom to do her makeup. Ignoring my protests it’s unnecessary since there’s nothing to hide or improve to make me love her more, she closes the door behind her and locks it.

There goes the plan of dragging her out of there by the collar to have her scratch my jaw and ear again instead. A much better way to pass the time, if you ask me.

In the meanwhile, I return to the bedroom to take a picture of the damage with my phone and send it to Jinyoung.

Jaebeom: We need to talk.

Immediately, I get a response.

Jinyoung: Yes, we absolutely do. Everything OK?

Jaebeom: Yes, Y/N is fine. Alive. A little shaken, but so am I. Well, we’re more than a little shaken. Fuck, Jinyoung, I don’t know what happened.

Jinyoung: I’ll drop by later today. I have to give a lecture in a bit and have to see a new patient afterwards. He’s going through the reintegration program right now and needs a little extra help.

Jaebeom: Help with what? What is he?

Jinyoung: A wolf. Not a standard case.

Jaebeom: Anything I can help with?

Jinyoung: I think you need to focus on yourself right now. I’ll be at the shop around two.

Footsteps disturb the silence, going from the bathroom to the hallway.

That was quick. Are females always this fast with applying their face?

It’s a funny phrase, ‘applying my face’. Also, it’s the argument the pretty lady used as the final word on the matter. But she already has a face so there’s no need to apply a second like some Greek god.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” Ears perked, I glance around the corner into the living room and in Y/N’s direction.

“Work?” she answers sheepishly, looking back at me with her head slightly tilted to the side. In her hands is the black trench coat she was about to put on.

Fortunately, she’s kept her makeup natural with a golden brown eyeshadow, a bit of a black line to accentuate her eyes and something to enhance her lashes. It’s a natural look which some of the female customers could learn from with their fake lips or chest that makes them reek of silicone and plastic. Their makeup, often overemphasizing their fake features, doesn’t add to their supposed charm. In fact, it makes me turn my snout away even faster if their attitude already hasn’t.

I’d never offer them coffee or want them around more than once.

But not her.

Not Y/N.

I can’t remember if she wore the same makeup when we met, but I vaguely recall a sense of calm and need for protection alongside a strange recognition. A connection that would make all the puzzle pieces of my life fit together.

The missing last piece.

“Not so fast.” I swiftly move to her side to kiss her forehead. No way I’m letting her go without giving her at least one more.

“There,” I pet her head, griggling and sweeping my tail triumphantly, “now you’re free to go.”

“I wouldn’t have gone without telling you, you know?” She stands on the tip of her toes to peck me on the lips, slightly swaying side to side to keep her balance.

So I lean forward to make it easier for her and chuckle against her lips. “Have a good day at work, Y/N.”

“You too, Jae.”

And with that, she puts on her coat, grabs her bag and opens the front door. She lingers in the doorway, waving half-heartedly as a final word of goodbye.

I wave back, faking a smile to see her off without worry.

Being human again isn’t so bad.

However, the deadline is another story.

The shop is as tranquil as it is on any other day. The quietness of unread words hangs between the shelves, the only noise to disrupt the silence being the rustle of a page being turned. Seated by the window as per usual, listening to the hail in the dim light, I read the time away, but whereas it’s normally a form of amusement and pleasure, it now functions in part to forget this morning’s discovery.

I didn’t mean to pry, but I inspected Y/N’s bookshelves before I left her apartment. There was the usual assortment of classics, but also a lot of Asian fiction, a genre I haven’t delved into too much yet. So, of course with the intention of returning it, I took Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami with me.

She must have read it recently because her fruity scent still lingers on the paper. The summer blend distracts me to the point that the movement of the hands of the clock pass unnoticed in the background.

Regardless of the appointed time, it’s half past two instead of two o’clock that Jinyoung comes in. In his one hand he holds a carrier with two paper cups, the sleeves on them decorated with the silhouette of a black wolf and the name of the café printed in vintage letters beneath the design, the letters spelling out Wolf’s. Judging by the scent, it’s tea the doctor has brought with him. Apple cinnamon for me, since that’s the only one I like, and rooibos for himself.

In his other hand, he holds his bag. One of the claps has either not been fastened before he left or came undone along the way. Whatever the reason, it’s clear he came here in a hurry.

“Sorry I’m late. Christian and I had a lot more to discuss than we thought.” Jinyoung stumbles inside, puts the tea and his bag on the counter, and turns around to lock the door and flip the sign so we can talk in private.

A hint of leather mixed with coffee and wood is mixed in with his own.

Male.

Threat.

Teeth gritted and jaw clenched, I make a mental note to myself to keep this scent away from Y/N. To keep this Christian away from her.

“Jaebeom,” the other male sighs. His tone holds a silent warning of being close to breaking some kind of boundary.

“What?” The answer rolls off the tongue as a growl rather than an actual question. Not that it matters since he must have had a lot worse to endure from me. Besides, it’s not him I’m pissed at so he’s safe.

Although, the wild undertone in his already peculiar personal blend alludes to the opposite.

Has he always smelled like this or is this new? He is human, but then why does my instinct tell me to watch out for him, that there’s more than to him? Strange.

“He’s no competition. I think he might have imprinted with my colleague, although neither he nor she might be aware of it.” He rolls his eyes. “The gods know whether Gráinne will do anything with it. I wonder if... no, I don’t think either of them told her anything.”

A grim wistfulness stains his voice, which ignites a curiosity about his colleague’s circumstances. Notwithstanding, that story will have to wait until another day and his willingness to tell me.

Still, I quickly fish my phone out of my pocket, open the notes app, and jot down a short reminder to ask about it at a later date.

“Anyway,” Jinyoung steps away from the door, hands me the cup with apple cinnamon tea, and gestures at the worn couch by the window overlooking the west side of the neighbourhood, “we’re here to talk about you. About the picture you sent.”

We move away from the counter to the sofa. A burst of hail spatters against the glass as we sit down.

I’m glad to have something to hold to conceal the shivers running through my body at the image of the claw mark mixed with the memory of what Y/N told me she felt. Or, rather, thought she felt although I’m certain she actually did feel the first ripples of transformation.

For a moment, we sit in silence as I mentally prepare myself for the conversation. Nipping on the tea with my shoulders curled over my chest, I try to reconstruct last night as best I can.

As much as my memory lets me.

To break the... something. There’s an idiom, no, a phrase? A saying.

I don’t know.

Not anymore.

To make it easier, likely noticing the struggle to say anything, Jinyoung speaks up. “There’s more than the photo. You’re leaving things out, things I need to know to help. What aren’t you telling me, Jaebeom?”

“Y/N-” I begin, my breath unsteady as I restart the sentence, “Y/N said she felt my skin move and if I try to remember last night, I can only recall fragments that give me a headache when I try to string them together. Which I can’t.”

He pales, frozen in place as the weird briny scent sours. “That shouldn’t-’’

“Shouldn’t happen,” I finish the remark.

A horrifying idea arises that sets the hairs on the back of my neck on end and has me nervously tapping my thumbs together as I try not to squeeze the cup in my paws. Nonetheless, voice a low woof bordering on a melancholic whine, I tell the doctor what’s on my mind. “I think the pills stopped working. Completely. I- I don’t think-’’

The world stops, shrinks, and strings my chest as tight as a string as I shrink within myself. Each thought evaporates as fast as the flashes in the wolf’s memory, incoherent if meant to be sensible at all.

The snow hasn’t even come.

I can’t leave her alone.

I don’t want to leave this life.

I don’t want to go just when being human again starts to get good.

I don’t want to be the old me again.

“I think so too,” Jinyoung agrees grimly. “If I increase the silver and nightshade or the doses it will kill you.”

He tilts his head to the side, eyes sharp with focus as he poses the question I’ve been wondering about myself. “Does she know what you are?”

I shake my head. I might be her weirdo wolf guy, but she’d never believe me if I told her what I really am. Besides, werewolves are the stuff of fiction these days.

We’re no longer seen as a real threat nor have the power and status we used to have in the days of yore. We are devoid of an identity acknowledged by humans.

But, if I don’t possess an identity, am I really here?

Alive?

Or dead like the wolf inside?

Paradise is calling, the song of the forest playing like a red thread through my broken memory.

Beckoning me home.

The woods are calling.

And I must not go.

Jinyoung’s new question pulls me out of my reverie, just in time before the train of thought would crash and burn. “Are you going to tell her?”

“No.” I take a sip of the sweet tea, to have a second of bliss and enjoy a new human pleasure.

Another happiness I discovered a little too late.

“Will you at least tell her about your meds?” Even though she’s seen me take them, Y/N doesn’t know what they’re for. But, then again, did she look at the label?

Regardless of whether she did or not, she’s perhaps not truly ignorant to the reason I have to take them. After all, she thinks they combat my amnesia, which is partially true. It’s a half-truth.

But the real reason is a secret I intend to keep.

“No,” I repeat, determined in my answer regardless of the world spinning out of control. “I won’t tell her.”

“She deserves that much, doesn’t she? She’s your girlfriend, Jay.’’ Although his features have softened, the doctor’s voice rises to a fierce bark as he reinforces his point. ‘’Your mate.”

“I can’t tell her,’’ I retort, my bark closer to a growl than a civilized answer. Tears brim on the edge of my lashes, obscuring my vision in spite of my attempts to blink them away. The vision of Y/N by herself in the snow, on her knees in the middle of the orchard, blocks my throat and makes breathing harder than it already was.

The vision changes to the image of a spring day close to summer, warm enough for her to wear the dress with the lemons. She’s seated in the same position between the trees which are now white and pink with blossom. However, whereas her belly was flat before, it’s now swollen, pregnant with pups.

My pups?

No, I have to stay here.

I have to survive the winter.

I have to be here if I ever change my mind and want to start a pack with her.

I must be here.

But the question is whether I actually can.

At this rate, I’m not sure.

I don’t know.

But I know enough to explain why I’m reluctant to tell my pretty lady anything. ‘’I can’t tell her, because the news will hurt her and I don’t want that. I don’t want to hurt her.”

Plus, what am I supposed to say? I’m a wolf that turned into a man and is slowly dying, going back to his old form in which it... he. Am human. In which he’ll be stuck until it- He! Am human! Until he dies?

“Y/N has to know about this, Jaebeom.’’ A hand on my shoulder makes me look up from the floor to the man next to me. ‘’How about I talk to her, tell her what you told me and discuss what our options are as well as a plan for the future?”

“You’re right.” I let out a mirthless griggle. “Fuck, I hate it when you are. But… But how will you… explain, uhm, explain… this- me! How will you explain me? What I am? For all she cares, werewolves are my- myth- fic-’’ I throw my head back, frustrated I can’t find the right word or properly speak.

Jinyoung gives me an encouraging squeeze, kindheartedly chuckling at my failure. “I know what you mean. Nobody comes into our world willingly or at least without a good reason. I think your... situation is enough of the latter for her to get involved too. She doesn’t have to join the branch, I’ll leave that up to her. But, if Y/N decides to believe me, or us for that matter, she’ll at least have a community to rely on when you, you know, you’re...”

“When I’m gone.’’ The hesitance to state the facts makes me grimace and my tone sharper than intended. ‘’We both know where this is heading so just say it.”

“Fine,’’ the doctor puts his hands up as if he’s at the risk of being shot ‘’when you’re gone.”

“What’ll happen to the shop?” I gesture around the paper paradise, changing the topic slightly. Books have been another treasure of humanity I will forever be grateful for, especially since I hopefully have created a legacy with them that’s worth keeping.

The doctor glances around, a somber expression on his face. “Either the university will keep it and maintain it as a potential workplace in the reintegration program or sell it off. I don’t know, real estate doesn’t fall within my jurisdiction.”

“Ah, I see.” I lower my head, gaze averted to the half-empty cup in my paws.

Funny how I once thought of making this a family business or to have at least my pup’s name on the spine of one of these books. If I ever had them, would they like to be a writer? Would Y/N tell them their absent father, I... I love... loved to read?

I force myself to forget the thought, swallow despite having a dry mouth, and shake my head. “Thank you. For wanting to tell her. She’ll come over tonight, so-’’

He holds up his hand to stop me. “I’ll text her so we can meet at a later date. She just returned from a business trip and had quite the evening with you. You two deserve a bit of rest.”

“But what if...”

It’s unlikely, but what if it happens again? What if I spin out of control tonight?

“Keep your temper in check and try to suppress your instinct,” Jinyoung answers matter-of-factly.

So, no sex.

Although the unspoken implication doesn’t come as a surprise, I can’t help but feel disappointed even though Y/N and I agreed on not doing it again so soon. Notwithstanding, it would be a lie to say I didn’t want to do it again this morning. But then there was the pool of blood and the amnesia that ruined our morning bliss.

All the same, flashes of what I do remember from last night replay in my mind.

They say once you’ve had a wolf, you never go back. Maybe because I won’t let you.

She looked beautiful, tears glistening in her eyes, equally as beautiful as her meek whimpers. She’s so small and fragile, easy to overpower.

To conquer.

“Your mind’s…. gutter again, isn’t it?” A groan sounds from somewhere on the side, distant like a faint echo

I was inside her.

In spite of the weird plastic, she felt nice.

Warm.

Wet.

I replay the image of her whimpering on the sheets as I looked down at her over and over. My hand on her cheek and Y/N keeping it in place. I should have used that second to dive down and worship her soft breasts more.

I could have bitten her there. Just a small bite on the side.

The snapping of a pair of fingers before my eyes interrupts the pleasant reverie. A bit offended, I snap around to growl at whoever took the pleasure of a cherished memory away.

Only to face Jinyoung, who sighs and looks down at the bulge in my pants before pursing his lips with an exasperated knowing expression as he looks up.

Scrambling to regain my composure and hardly remembering what he said, I answer as best I can. “No!”

“Then why are you drooling?”

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