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red-panda-agere · 5 months

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Regressor! Chuuya Nakahara

(These are all just personal headcanons of mine and I project onto Chuuya quite a lot, and have for a very long time, sorry if this feels “out of character” or anything. Also, this is sort of an au where Dazai and Chuuya share an apartment or something.)

(Also- to the few IRLs who now have access to my Tumblr, I warned you, and I’m so sorry-)

(!¡!Pull-up/Diaper/Accident mention!¡!)

Chuuya really likes sharks and has a shark plushie that Dazai won for him from a claw machine at the arcade they used to go to. (His name is Finn, but Chuuya refuses to admit he named it.)

He also has a lot of space themed stuff, like those glow in the dark stars that you put on your wall, and one of those moon nightlights.

Very prone to accidents, especially with all of the nightmares he has, and often has pull-ups that he keeps hidden under his bed. He really wants to wear diapers, thinking they’d be more comfortable and with as young as his headspace is, it would help him feel comfortable in that aspect to. However, he would never consider it, refusing to accept he’s anything but a ‘big boy.’ (Unless Dazai coaxes him into it or catches him at a really vulnerable moment.)

You��d think he’d be really difficult during changes, but he gets so embarrassed he just freezes. He wants to argue and kick but he doesn’t want to even talk about the current situation the two are in, and physically can’t without getting unbelievably embarrassed to the point he’ll cry, so he just freezes and lays still for Dada.

Tends to have nightmares about being abandoned by Dazai or his old friends being killed right in front of him. When he wakes up from one, he’s usually immediately a sobbing mess and will cling to Dazai and Finn like he’ll die without them. These tend to result in a large total of accidents.

“It’s alright Chibi. Dada’s here little buddy. I’m not going anywhere.” He holds him close, revisiting the struggle he’d previously endured when just trying to settle Chuuya down for the night. He’d hardly gotten him to sleep before, now after that awful nightmare, they’d probably be up until Chuchu wore himself out and even after that. He’d start to try to lay Chuuya down and he’d scream and cry, clinging tighter to Dazai. “DADA NO! NO LEAVING! YOU HAVE TO STAY!” The fussy regressor would sob. Dazai would lay down next to him, pulling him in close. “Calm down baby…I’m not going anywhere sweetheart.” He slid a pastel yellow blanket and Finn into his arms, then offering up a paci as well. “Shhh…” he’d gently coo, lips right above his head.

Chuuya doesn’t really know how old he is when regressed, but he’s nowhere above three, but can get very itty bitty, even so little the only word he’ll use is “Dada.” Even then, he just says “Da!”

Gets very embarrassed about regressing, ESPECIALLY since Dazai is the only one who he’s told about it. Dazai is the only person he trusts enough to know about it, while simultaneously fearing that he’s went and told everyone about it, or will use it against him like the bet they made as kids where Chuuya is ‘his dog’ and will do things like use a ‘snobby rich girl voice’ in conversations. Of course Dazai would never do that with such a delicate situation, but the fear is there.

Requires lots of praise and reassurance.

When Dazai left the mafia, Chuuya didn’t celebrate like he claims he did at all, he silently sobbed into Finn, holding the shark tight. He never sleeps without it now.

His favorite pacifier is a baby blue one with small stars and a crescent moons design on it. It has a matching paci clip that tends to be clipped to Finn’s dorsal fin. Dazai has only lost it once, and when they needed it, it was not a fun situation for either parties.

Chuuya tries to regress with any free time he has while Dazai has work. Being an executive, that time is hard to find, so he usually ends up regressing while Dazai is home. Even though he’s so accepting and even taken on the role of a caregiver for him, he still tries to hide any and all vulnerability, and usually panics at first, every time Dazai finds or gets him little.

Regresses involuntary almost every time he uses Corruption. If he doesn’t pass out immediately, he’s in so much physical and mental distress when he’s finished with the fight that all he can do is sob to Dazai, telling his Dada he wants to go home, while the brunette’s brow furrows a bit over the redhead’s wet pants. He shivers against Dazai before inevitably passing out, exhausted.

-He tends to have accidents a lot after literally allowing his entire body to be corrupted and attack in a mindless rage.

-Even further, he probably struggles to regress sometimes because he has to let go so much, and let his guard down so much that it can allow his Special Ability to act on its own, sometimes even causing him to experience corruption. Dazai is always nearby during this, quickly nullifying it. This is only an occasional thing though when he’s trying to willingly regress.

Chuuya is usually a fussy and grumpy baby. Clingy and needy, but pouts at everything and whines a lot. Too stubborn for his own good.

-Will probably cry and cry until he’s held but then will fuss, wanting to be set down because “he’s a big boy.” Dazai knows better though. Even casually, he’ll try to act big and pretend he’s a “big boy” and even if Dazai knows otherwise, he’ll play along with him.

“Alright Chuuya! If ya say so! But I was so hoping I’d get to see my little star when I got home! Oh well! Guess we can have a tea party another day! I had some paperwork I need to get in anyways!” But before he walks off, Chuuya grabs his hand. “…tea party?” He asks with a flushed face. Dazai smiles slyly. “Mhm! A tea party with all my baby’s favorite stuffies! But he’s not here right now, so it’ll have to wait for now! Siiiiiigh!” Chuuya whimpers, squeezing his hand. He doesn’t want to say he’s regressed, but he also doesn’t have to. Dazai opens his arms for a hug, and Chuuya slinks into his arms, pressing his face on his chest, hiding in his hands. “And we’d make sugar cookies! And I bought his favorite strawberry milk! I heard Finn was excited too! Such a shame!” As he says this, he’s already lifting up a regressed Chuuya into his arms. “You’re so mean” little Chibi grumbles with a small sniffle. “Hi baby…” Dazai whispered.

Very sensitive and hard on himself. If Dazai even tells him with a gentle tone that he can’t do something, he’ll be completely disappointed in himself and sit himself in the corner, punishing himself. Of course Dazai won’t let that stand, and he’s quick to coax his baby back into his arms.

He clenches his jaw, bites his lips and cheeks, and even grits his teeth when he’s angry or stressed. This tends to end up in a lot of pacis getting bitten through, so there’s always a spare somewhere. Dazai tries to offer alternatives like chewelry or teether toys. This usually ends up in Chuuya just becoming extremely embarrassed with his behavior and being very scared to use his pacis. Like most of his little things, it takes a lot of coaxing and encouragement for Chuuya to feel comfortable enough to use them.

They go on lots of aquarium trips when Chuuya is regressed. His favorite thing is the shark tank tunnel, and always insists all the sharks are his friends.

He also really enjoys arcades and has a fixation with claw machines.

His favorite nicknames are “little star” “little prince” “Chibi” (by Dazai only) “Chuchu” “little pup” (like a shark) and “little buddy”

Prefers sleeper onsies because they cover his legs, and he doesn’t like looking at his scars.

He has a LOT of Tuxedo Sam merchandise, including a sippy cup and a throw blanket that he loves to carry around when little.

Very well behaved in the bath, and likes playing with a bunch of shark bath toys. He thinks bath bombs are silly, and bath crayons are one of the best inventions known to man. Dazai always puts a towel in the drier for Chuuya for when he gets out.

Has one of those special play tents that he hides in when he’s feeling shy. It has a lot of pillows and blankies in it so it’s basically just a cozy little “hide-y hole” for whenever he needs it.

Doesn’t really care for coloring books, but loves drawing

Knows an absurd amount of shark facts, and talks about them nonstop when regressed. He will explain in detail why he thinks Dazai would like a certain kind of shark.

Despises thunderstorms, and will throw a fit if he’s alone during it. Even just waking up to storms is enough to bring him to absolutely hysterical sobbing. Dazai has special headphones for him to wear during storms, but he doesn’t like the way they feel on his ears, so he just continues to throw a fit.

Very shy about it, but loves being bottle-fed. He would deny wanting to and never EVER ask, but he loves it when Dada lets him fall asleep in his lap while being babied in such an intimate way.

Dazai is usually his caregiver, but if he’s also feeling small, Chuuya only trusts Kunikida to see him like that. They both refer to him as “Kiki.”

#agere #age regression #sfw #fandom agere #sfw babyre #agere community #sfw cglre #sfw interaction only #babyre #agere headcanons #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungou stray dogs Chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs agere

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ladiemars · 10 months

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update (i’m alive)

so it’s been a little over two months since i went radio silent, and i just wanted to thank everyone who sent me messages of support in april, whether it was via dm or anon or under the post itself. i think in total i got like 20+ long, thoughtful messages from people. it meant a lot.

to everyone who wished me well mental health wise: things are okay! i’m being discharged from therapy in july. i’ll be starting emdr to hopefully remove the distress associated with the memories of my csa.

that isn’t to say i’m coming back. i still haven’t made up my mind about that. if it wasn’t obvious by how hopeless i sounded in some of my messages, the harassment i received from members of the wayhaven fandom after book 3 triggered me pretty bad, and in my weakened state, made me genuinely want to kill myself. it’s embarrassing to admit that i was affected, but i was actually internalizing the messaging from that group within the fandom that told me i was irredeemable.

anyways, i’ve been touching that sweet green grass, and i just want to say one thing i learned from this whole experience: there is a tumblr discourse rhetoric hole that a disturbing number of people, especially people in the wayhaven fandom, jump down into where people cease to be real people, fictional characters start to have feelings, and activism ceases to have real life applications. internet activism and social justice are necessary things in the digital age, they’ve personally helped me as a neurodivergent woman and a victim of csa, but the moment you stop valuing the off-tumblr goals for activism (that being actual positive change) and only use it as a weapon to chase people who you don’t like off the internet or out of fandom spaces, it ceases to be productive any meaningful way.

fortunately, the fact that this particular breed of activism does absolutely nothing to impact the lives of people in the real world means that it ceases to affect me when i turn off the app. like that one kanye tweet that’s like “the fuck is cyberbullying just close your eyes.”

anyway, if you’ve made it this far and miss my art, i have a private twitter where i’ve been posting to close friends and mutuals. (before you ask: yes, i’ve posted wayhaven stuff there.) i’ll be opening commissions to that small group in july. see you there?

- mars

#mars talks #update #fandom critical

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bil-daddy · 6 months

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Hi Bildad. I know this isn't at all what your Tumblr is for, but I don't have anyone IRL to talk to about this, and my husband reads AITA. If you want to just leave this in your inbox unanswered, that is ok.

Today during an argument, my husband told me that he has not been attracted to me since we got married (20 years ago!) Around that time I started on antidepressants and they caused me to gain some weight and then I gained some more weight. Currently I am 5'6" and 190lbs.

He has hinted at this a couple times over the course of our marriage and frequently turns me down for sex (one time we went a whole year without any sexual activity). He said that he has never been completely honest about this before because it would hurt my "fragile ego" and send me into an "emotional spiral".

When we were first married, he was in good shape, but about ten years ago, he started putting on weight, too. He is currently 6'0" and 260lbs. He says that he knows that it's not fair, but he's just being honest about how he feels.

Currently I'm considering getting bariatric surgery, vs trying to do my best to diet and exercise while working full time and raising three kids with him, vs calling it quits and trying to find someone who likes my body the way it is. I have a fairly high sex drive and I'm feeling very frustrated.

Again, sorry for venting here. Not something I'd be willing to admit to family or friends but just needed to get it off my chest and this seems like a safe space.

Hi, anon. Sorry you're going through this.

Now, to paraphrase AITA (and r/relationship_advice, and r/relationships) You don't have a weight problem. You have a husband problem.

It shouldn't take a midwife to know that bodies change after giving birth and it seems you've done that three times. And that's not even getting into the normal weight gain that comes with aging. Nobody looks the same as they looked 20 years ago (well, unless you're an immortal being--which I am definitely not by the way, 100% totally human shoemaker obstetrician right here)

Your husband knows this. He's aged and gained weight, too. And not to get all Freudian, but I'm betting his criticisms of you are actually projection of how he feels about himself. (Especially the "fragile ego" and "emotional spiral" part. Such classic projection it might as well be an old silent film.)

He probably didn't mean what he said about not being attracted to you for your entire twenty-year marriage, if you two were arguing when he said it. It was just something he knew he could say to hurt you in the moment.

That's not an excuse, by the way. Every relationship is gonna have fights (don't ask me how I know), but you shouldn't be fighting dirty against the person you love. Fuck nasty, sure. But not fight dirty.

Speaking of which, sex drives often wax and wane over the course of lifetimes, and relationships, and a group of two's respective shifts don't always line up. Still, if there's an ongoing mismatch then the couple should do their best to figure out a compromise that works for both of them.

Is your husband doing this?

Is he doing half the childcare so you have the free time to exercise?And relax, too, because you won't have the energy to exercise if you're too tired from work and childcare.

Is he doing half the grocery shopping, meal planning, and cooking so your whole family can eat a healthy diet?

Is he trying to get back into shape and lose weight himself?

And finally, the hard (pun intended) one--is he cutting back on "pornography!" (to quote Sandalphon) so he can direct the majority of his sexual energy towards you? Has he checked with a doctor about his testosterone levels? Blood flow?

You don't have to tell me, but the answers to these questions might tell you whether your husband is putting enough effort into your marriage to make it worth saving, versus calling it quits and finding someone who will appreciate your body the way it is--and there are many people who will (just ask @mrazfellco about my obsession with his belly and thick thighs)

But the most important person who needs to appreciate your body the way it is isn't your husband or a hypothetical post-divorce boyfriend. The most important person who needs to appreciate your body is you.

And so you need to do whatever it is that will make you feel good about yourself. That might be diet and exercise. That might be bariatric surgery. That might just be losing 260 pounds of husband.

But whatever it is, it needs to be for you.

Hope this helps.

Good luck to you, and have an ox rib (platonic)

#bildaddy answers #life advice from bildaddy #results may vary #just like in the bible bildad the shuhite arrives to offer his counsel to a friend going through it

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technicolorfamiliar · 5 months

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Technicolor Familiar Watches Too Many Conrad Veidt Movies Part 1 of ?

Apropos of nothing, I find myself wading around waist deep in Conrad Veidt's filmography, at least the titles I can easily find online.

I've been writing down my mostly brief impressions after each movie, mainly for my own entertainment since I know exactly zero other people who would care lol. I actually created a Mastodon account especially for this purpose, since my primary socials aren't really for this sort of thing. But the character limit on Mastodon is seriously cramping my style, so I'm going to be annoying about this on Tumblr, my self-imposed blog expectations be damned.

I'm not doing plot summaries, but there are spoilers. I'm not watching these movies in any particular order other than what I'm in the mood for on any given day. I'm half trying to keep the thirst levels to a minimum, but no promises; all bets were off after watching A Woman's Face. And tbh, this whole thing has turned into an Emotional Support / Coping Mechanism / Escapism Tactic because hoo boy is my brain bad these days. But be forewarned, I'm not a writer, I'm not a film critic. I just like movies and turns out I like Conrad Veidt a lot too. I'd probably have more and better things to say about a lot of these upon a second or third watch.

So as of late November, I'm 15 films deep with a lot more to go. I'm thinking about splitting this up into multiple posts, maybe like 5ish films/post. Originally I was going to see how many of these movies can I watch before the end of 2023. But I'm just going to keep going until I run out of available titles or I get sick of Connie's face (unlikely).

The Man Who Laughs, 1928 Dir. Paul Leni ⭐4.5/5 Watched mid-Oct, Archive.org Nothing could have prepared me for this. Of course I was aware of TMWL, but more vaguely than I guess I realized. It's really ahead of its time. The production quality is astounding, it's an absolutely beautiful film. The whole cast is pretty great, too. The Duchess? Total smoke show. Homo the Dog? Queer icon. And Connie really swings for the fences emotionally and physically as Gwynplaine. Bear in mind, this is literally only the third Conrad Veidt movie I've ever seen (other than the basic, intro level Cabinet of Dr Caligari and Casablanca), so I was really floored by what he's able to do in this role with the use of really only half his face. There are several wonderfully haunting and heartbreaking visuals and moments throughout the nearly 2 hour runtime that will stay with me long after watching. Half a star got knocked off because the score was a little bombastic and there were one too many clowns for me personally. But those are small complaints for what may otherwise be a pretty perfect film.

Unheimliche Geschichten (Eerie Tales), 1919 Dir. Richard Oswald ⭐3/5 Watched mid-Oct, Archive.org A romp. The version I watched had no soundtrack at all, making for a totally silent viewing experience. The vignette structure and old school effects are fun. I enjoyed seeing Anita Berber in action although maybe I was expecting more because of all the hype surrounding her/her image. But Connie, Anita, and Reinhold Schünzel seem like they had a good time working on this project. "The Black Cat" and "The Suicide Club" were my favorite sections (and I actually watched this when I was in the middle of Netflix's The Fall of the House of Usher, so yay for extra Poe content in the spookiest month). As for Connie Content, what can I say, he's stunning.

The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari, 1920 Dir. Robert Wiene ⭐3.5/5 Watched Oct 17, Archive.org I went hard with the silent era when I started this journey. Caligari was my intro to Conrad Veidt almost 15 years ago, and as a lapsed goth art student, I remember being bewitched by his strange and off-putting presence on screen. My rating for this one is kind of low compared to how undoubtedly iconic and important of a film it is. It could have been my mood but upon rewatching, but the story fell a little flat for me. I did like the updated score in the version I watched, and I would love to see this one on the big screen maybe with a live orchestra some day.

Orlacs Hände (The Hands of Orlac), 1924 Dir. Robert Wiene ⭐4/5 Watched Oct 17, Archive.org Loved. It's so horny and bizarre (the scene with the maid crawling on the floor? same, girl, same). And visually the most pre-David Lynch Lynchian-looking movie I've ever seen. The shots that linger on highly stylized, cavernous, empty rooms before a character enters? So David Lynch. I'm also a big fan of the psychological body horror and crime thriller genre mashup. It's got twists, it's got turns. Conrad Veidt's your man if you ever needed a Hand Actor. Like the handsiest Hand Actor who ever had a pair of hands. Someone who could really work those mitts.

A Woman's Face, 1941 Dir. George Cukor ⭐4.5/5 Watched Oct 18, Vudu & TCM Jumping way forward in Connie's career. This movie did things to me. This was, I think, the point of no return. It's extremely underrated, I'm legitimately surprised I'd not heard of it before diving down this rabbit hole. That said, it is strange and pretty spicy for a Hays Code era picture. It's so good, I actually watched it twice (it aired on TCM as a part of their creepy cinema series). Visually beautiful and narratively interesting, if maybe a little long despite the rushed ending. Shout out to Joan Crawford for giving what's probably the best performance of hers, at least that I've seen (Mildred Pierce who?). And then there's nasty, nasty Conrad Veidt. He very nearly steals the movie from Joan, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He's beautiful, he's TALL, he's scary. Genuinely shocked he doesn't have second billing. But what else can I say about his Torsten Barring that hasn't already been said more eloquently by others? It's such a great character, and I believe he said it was one of his favorites during his entire 100+ film career. A Woman's Face is the only title on this list so far where immediately after watching I wanted to buy the dvd. Ugh, we deserved several more decades of Connie in roles like this.

I'll probably post the next few one day soon, where I finally get into some titles from the 1930s.

#my writing #conrad veidt #the man who laughs #eerie tales #the cabinet of doctor caligari #the hands of orlac #a woman's face

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shortmage · 1 year

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2022 End of Year Revue REVIEW

So, I used the wrong word last year, but hey just another sign that I've lived and learned and grown since then, lol. But no really, I can't help but really proud of myself and what I've managed to write and publish this last year, despite having a pretty rough time this year, especially these last few months. Every like, comment, and kudos and every kind word from someone in the servers I'm in has helped bolster me through to the end of this year and I cannot thank you all enough. Since I published my first fic in like seven years last year, I've published a total of 16 works! That's wild to me!

Just this year, I published 48,061 words but my word count tracker says that I've written 65,773 in total. So, many more things in the works (26 wips in total, I have to say)! I hit over 1,000 kudos on my works this year and I'm almost at 10,000 hits! Those numbers might seem small to anyone else but I'm really proud of what I've been able to do!

So, under the cut, a quick look at all the fics and chapters I published this year! And again, thank you everyone for reading, for commenting, for brainstorming ideas, and generally yelling about our fandom! Here's to next year!

may death find you alive

The Book of Boba Fett. General. Words: 2.074. Boba/Din.

Basically an ask here on Tumblr got me thinking about Boba's relationship with his armor and this emerged from that. Because I have a LOT of thoughts about Boba and his armor.

Relief in Sharp Lines: Chapter Two

Teen. Words: 5,409. Boba/Din.

This was written for the From BobaDin With Love event for the Commitment, Marriage day but that just worked out so well because it was a chapter I'd already been wanting to write. There's a third chapter that will finish this fic up sometime in the future!

On Honeyed Wings

General. Words: 11,856. Boba/Din.

The first chapter was published for BobaDin With Love event and it was originally just going to be that single chapter. But then the AU Bingo cards went out and it gave me another idea and so the next two chapters/the Summer section was written. And I have large chunks of the Autumn and Winter sections written, we just gotta wait and see when I'll get them done!

This Is Just To Say

General. Words: 3,923. Boba/Din.

A follow-up to last year's Father Day fic, I Want Us To Eat Well. I pretty much had wanted to write this one since I wrote the original. It was hard to recapture the lightning in the bottle that was Eat Well but I just wanted to write this fic so bad and let Din reciprocate.

Who We Belong To

Explicit. Words: 6,446. Boba/Din.

And with this fic I continued the tradition I somehow started with Of Good Use of being the "Public Acts of Fucking" writer. I apologize, I don't know how this fic happened (I do it was the BobaDin server's fault) but fuck, if I didn't have fun writing it.

Upon Silent Tethers

Explicit. Words: 3,868. Din/Cobb.

Not my first foray with Cobb, but first with writing explicit DinCobb, which I was nervous about for so long for some reason? Written for the DinCobb server's Fic Challenge/Exchange Event. It was a new experience writing from someone else's suggestion but I like how it turned out, I just hope the recipient and other readers did as well!

Meandros

Explicit. Words: 7,109. Boba/Din/Cobb.

Someone in the BobaDinCobb server said "Boba gets his thighs bitten by the other two" one day and well, my brain latched onto that SO fucking hard. And this was born. As well, oddly enough, a bit of an exploration of gender for myself. You know, as one does.

duty or privilege and but you care

General. Words: 1,436/816. Din/Cobb.

Two short ficlets that were previously published here on Tumblr. I always meant to go back and rewrite them or expand but I thought this would be a good challenge in just letting my writing exist so I went ahead and published them a bit ago to a nice reception. Helped give me more confidence in doing and publishing some flash fic in the future so I don't get bogged down in making sure my fic are "perfect".

And like last year, a few works in progress to look forward to. A few may be familiar from last year's WIP list 😬:

Honeyed Wings, Part Three and Four

Boba/Din Knights AU

Haunted (Darksaber) Din

Sarlacc Boba

Plo Koon Teacher AU

Sharp Lines Part Three

Who We Belong To Follow-Up

Boba/Din/Cobb Ailyn Vel fic (POSSIBLY)

Jedi School Visit (following some reworking post-TBoBF)

Baatir Part Two

Boba/Din/Cobb Western AU

Hannibal AU

and as always assorted NSFW fics

#mage writing

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withcolebrock · 3 years

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I Drew That

Corpse Husband x fem!reader

Summary: Corpse finds out that Y/N has a drawing of him as her background

Warnings: swearing :)

Word Count: 1,818

Author’s Note: I’ve spent weeks trying to write this piece :/ I just couldn’t find a way to make it how I wanted it if that makes sense but I tried my best. This idea was very cute because I can totally see this happening lol. Especially with like the whole flirty voice thing Corpse has been doing with like Brentman and like James and stuff haha. I hope you guys enjoy it!!

~~~

Tonight was one of the many nights that she was playing Among Us. It had taken over her life, a flood of success followed her once she had played with Sean and Felix. She had gained over two hundred thousand subscribers on her YouTube channel. It had changed her life for the better, in many ways.

For the last three rounds, it had been strict imposter wins. Felix won two of those. Everyone was shocked when it was him the second time, Felix was getting great at the game. The group then decided to switch lobbies because Felix was throwing a fit about getting imposter too much. It was the usual group of Felix, Sean, Poki, Rae, Sykkuno, Leslie, Toast, Dave, Corpse, and Y/N.

Over the last few months everyone in the group had gotten a lot closer. Especially Corpse and Y/N. After the first time they played together, a lobby Sean had created, they had talked for hours after the first game they played. This had continued almost every time they had played Most of the time, Corpse would be editing his videos while talking with her. It calmed him as he worked. She would be working on her art or scrolling through Pinterest or Tumblr.

They had even FaceTimed several times, where Corpse revealed his face to her. He made a big deal out of it, saying a whole monologue before he turned the camera to his face. She followed in pursuit being very dramatic as well. Whenever they would talk he would play her his music, waiting to see if she liked it. She loved any song he put out, despite it not being her usual music taste.

One night she was scrolling through Tumblr and found an artist who was drawing Among Us players with their little characters. One particular character made her smile and her heart flutter slightly. It was an amazing drawing of Corpse and his little character sitting on his shoulder. It was an art style she was familiar with, she loved supporting smaller artists. It was the cutest thing she has ever seen. Weirdly, it perfectly described him. She loved it so much, she decided to keep it as her phone Wallpaper.

The round started on Mira, where Y/N was a crewmate again. Throughout the whole night, she still hasn’t gotten imposter. “Dammit,” she groaned at the screen. She stood still at the start of the map, waiting to see if anyone would fake tasks at the start. Everyone ran off, not doing them. She quickly followed.

After a long thirty seconds lights get shut off. She ignores the emergency and continues doing her tasks, she stood by the vending machine when Felix killed her. “It’s fucking Felix again!” she leaned back in her chair groaning. She covered her face with her hands. “He’s gotta stop killing me first,” she shook her head. She tried to hide how annoyed she was.

Her body was called by Poki, she was the only dead one. “Oh my god,” Poki said once the screen popped up.

“Y/N no!” Rae yelled, “You guys, she’s died first the last three rounds,”

“Wait really? Oh Jesus, sorry Y/N,” Sykkuo said, a breathy laugh leaving his lips.

“I’ll protect you next round, Y/N, I promise,” Corpse said. Y/N tried to hide her smile and the heat rushing to her cheeks.

“We’ll avenge you, Y/N!” Sean yelled. Soon after everyone grieved her death they began asking each other where they were. Everyone had a solid alibi making it impossible for them to figure out who did it.

“Guys, guys, Y/N died first the last three rounds right?” Toast started, everyone hummed, “Who was imposter these past few rounds?” he explained. Everyone gasped.

“You really think I would kill her first three rounds in a row?” Felix tried to defend himself as the voting time clock turned red.

“You’ve done it twice already!” Sean yelled, voting Felix. Felix was saved since half of the group skipped. She floated around the map trying to get her tasks done quickly so she could talk to her chat without holding back the rest of the group.

She glanced towards her chat, reading a few questions, she shifted her gaze to the game and thought about the questions. “I’ve been working on a cute little animation for you guys, I might do another art stream with you guys. Only if you guys want it, of course.” she read through a few more questions while answering them, while she waited for the meetings to end.

Once all of her tasks were done, she began to talk about her art and fanart. “Yeah, there’s an artist on Tumblr, they are amazing, they deserve so much more recognition,” she explained as she showed them her lock screen with the drawing of Corpse; without thinking about her chat being curious as to why it was him. Turning her phone back towards her, her eyes widened as realization dawned on her.

The chat began to flood in with questions, begging Y/N to tell them why she had Corpse’s drawing as her background. She chose to ignore the question and continue talking about her own art and showing fan art. Despite trying to change the subject, she sighed dramatically. “Chat, there’s no reason why Corpse’s character is my background, the artist is just good, stop talking about it,” she giggled as the victory screen popped up on her screen.

“Felix what the fuck!” she unmuted in discord. He began laughing as he began to defend his actions. “No, no it doesn’t matter if I know your liar voice, Felix-” After about five minutes of everyone talking the next round started. She was a crewmate again, “I feel like I’m bugged,” she groaned as she started running around doing her tasks. Corpse’s little black character was following her.

“Looks like I got myself a little body guard,” she smiled as she spoke. They walked passed the medbay room, as Corpse moved his character dramatically. She rolled her eyes as they both walked into the medbay room. She didn’t have medbay, but she sat waiting for Corpse to finish. They continued doing tasks together until a body was called. It was Sean’s.

“Y/N’s cleared I was with her the entire time,” Corpse said confidently into his mic. She said the same about him. Poki was acting a little weird during the call, which made Y/N a little suspicious of her.

~~~

When the lights were shut off Corpse was killed by Poki, and he groaned as his body was killed immediately. Poki called out Y/N right away, saying that she was with Corpse the whole time. Corpse glanced towards his chat, finally able to try and read everything everyone was saying. His eyes lit up as he saw her name flash the screen several times.

One person kept spamming the chat saying, Y/N’s has your Among Us character as her background, he smiled as he read it. He knew exactly what the picture was, “Oh really?” he hummed as he continued reading. Everyone was saying how nervous she got when they kept asking her about it. He pressed his lips together nervously. He decided to drop it for now, but he was curious. He looked back up to the screen and began to listen to what was happening during the meeting.

“...You really think I would spend this whole game marinating Corpse for me to kill him in front of Poki? What about that double kill that happened, there was no way I would’ve done that if I was with him.” Y/N explained, over Poki trying to defend herself.

“I think she’s got it guys,” It was down to Toast, Y/N, Sykkuno, and Poki. Everyone quickly voted for Poki. The Victory screen popped up. “I knew you had it, Y/N,” Corpse said as everyone started shouting into the discord.

After a few minutes of them discussing the round, they decided to switch over to Polius. “Hey, Y/N, can I ask you something?” Corpse asked, the group quickly went quiet.

“Sure,” she giggled.

“My chat keeps saying you have my character as your phone background, is that true?” he asked, teasingly. He smiled widely. The entire group started cheering while teasing Y/N and Corpse.

Her mouth dropped open as she tried to find a way to explain it, “Well, uh,” she cleared her throat, “I do actually, it was great art, what was I supposed to do?” she laughed.

“Oooo, someone has a little crush,” Sean teased, Felix quickly joined. The rest of the group was simply laughing along. Corpse stayed silent while the group was teasing Y/N, and Corpse for that matter.

He pulled up Y/N’s Twitter and began to scroll through her feed to find the perfect drawing. He took the drawing that Y/N did of her own Among Us character. It was a drawing of Y/N holding her little character in her hand. It was his favorite piece of art she has done. Mainly because she drew it while on FaceTime with him. He quickly changed it to his iphone background, he glanced back towards the screen, seeing if the game started. He took a screenshot of it and immediately texted it to Y/N.

“Y/N, look at our messages,” he said simply into his mic. The group slowly stopped talking as they waited for Y/N to open the message.

“Corpse, I’m scared,” she whispered, everyone started laughing.

“Just open the message,” he giggled.

She sighed dramatically while she pulled up the messages with Corpse, seeing the screenshot. Her lips fell into a pout as she saw it. “I drew that,” she mumbled into the mic.

“You did,” he whispered, as he felt heat rise in his cheeks. He loved hearing her voice. “It’s my favorite,” he continued.

“Corpse,” she whined as her eyes began to tear up. She didn’t know why, but her heart felt so full. “You didn’t have to do that,” she mumbled, readjusting herself in her chair. She shifted her gaze towards the contact name, Corpseyyy.

“Of course I did, It was beautiful art,” he muttered while he looked back towards his phone, admiring his new phone background.

“Is this..a possible.. New relationship starting?” Sean whispered dramatically into his mic.

“It sounds like it,” Rae interjected. Corpse rolled his eyes dramatically, but he didn’t oppose the idea; neither did Y/N. Rae quickly started the game, letting the tension ease between everyone. Corpse and Y/N got imposter together.

“Oh my god finally,” Y/N said into the mic as she started faking tasks, “Chat, please stop saying I’m blushing, you aren’t helping,” she giggled as she continued the game. She raised her hand to her cheek, feeling the warmth.

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband imagines #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fanfic #corpse imagines #corpse x reader #corpse fanfic #e girls are ruining my life #cat girls are ruining my life #miss you!#agoraphobia

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castiel-left-his-mark-on-me · 3 years

Note

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

#omg #I don't even know if this makes sense #this took way too long to write #j2 #cockles #long post #spn family #so glad you see you back again my dear #welcome to hell #it's hotter now

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juminsmysticmc · 3 years

Note

Hello dear! So since I love Vanderwood so so muchhh I wonder if I can request something about an agent Mc x Vanderwood in a mission with Saeyoung and Vandy? and somehow she got shot while protecting one of them? I am totally okay with angst !

I wanted to see this written by you so bad cuz you are incredibly talented and I love your writings!

Cause losing me is better than losing you

Vanderwood x Mc

Trigger Warnings! Mention of drowning, pain, blood, death, near death experience, angst

Hey my love!! I am so happy that you requested that, I hope you enjoy it and will tell me your honest opinion! I will wait for your message! BTW, this lovely angel helped me when I changed my name on tumblr and had to find all links to every writing and whenever I have the feeling that a request sounds similar to something I have already written, my first contact is this person ~

LOVE YOU thank you for everything!

BTW, the title is a title of a song by Wonho

It was never meant to go that way. It was always planned that Saeyoung and Vanderwood would one day step out of the agency. Everyone knew that it would be hard to escape from the agency as agents. But after everything about Rika and the RFA was found out, especially after you came and joined the RFA, escaping from the agency was forgotten. The reason was that you were an agent of the same agency too. Leaving now would be way too suspicious and dangerous for everyone, but this mission was even worse...

Three years after the chaos ended with the RFA, Rika was sent away by Zen and Yoosung, for the two saved her from Jumin, who wanted to give her over to the police. His best friend Jihyun was dead for three years and Saeran, the hacker’s missing brother, was much better by now. Luckily, the Agency never knew anything about him, making him stay in a safe place.

,,We will go on a mission and we will be back in four days,’’ Saeyoung said to his brother who just nodded when he saw you guys leaving. The house was no longer just Saeyoung's, but also Saeran’s, who moved in with his brother. But Saeran wasn’t the only one who moved into the modern place. This was now also the home of you and Vanderwood. It was somehow weird that four people, who were kind of strangers, began to live together, but you guys shared a deep special bond so it was okay, especially because you and Vanderwood were a couple.

Of course you guys weren’t a common couple. You were agents after all and had to confront dangerous situations regularly. ,,Okay, good luck,’’ Saeran said. The way he said it could seem as if he didn’t care, but the truth was that he was way too worried to show you guys that he was scared. And this time his feelings weren’t wrong. Something was bound to happen that day and no one knew it yet…

,,They want us to get some documents out of a house six hours from here and try to not get killed by these guys here. They're from the mafia,’’ Saeyoung said and showed you and Vanderwood the plan. You three were currently outside in front of the car that would bring you to that place. ,,Why do they need three of us tho?’’ you asked Saeyoung and looked at him. You were also suspicious about this mission, but you were always the one who was the most unsure about every mission you got. Saeyoung shrugged with his shoulders and answered. ,,Maybe because I need to hack into the technology to not make them catch us while Vanderwood has your back so that you can take the requested documents,’’ this answer made you and your boyfriend understand that Saeyoung already had a plan of how he wanted things to go. You nodded in agreement and looked at Vanderwood, who stayed silent. He wasn’t a lovey dovey kind of boyfriend, but he still showed his emotions on occasion. But whenever you guys went on a mission, everything changed. He was concentrating on the mission, trying his best not to die in front of you or even worse, let you die, and you knew that he had his reasons. ,,Okay, boys, let’s go!’’ you said and put your rucksack on your back to walk towards Saeyoung’s black car. Saeyoung opened the car with his key, making orange lights light up. You put your stuff next to you on the seat behind Vanderwood and got ready for the drive. Saeyoung would drive since he was the best driver among the three of you.

,,I think we should look at the plans again. Something doesn’t seem right. We’ve never gone on the same mission, not as the three of us’’ you told them, leaning forward between the driver seat and the passenger seat. Saeyoung glanced at you through the mirror. ,,Safety first. Sit back and put the seat belt on,’’ he ordered and looked to the street again. Your boyfriend Vanderwood looked back at you and waited until you put the seat belt on, making sure that you would be safe regardless of what would happen. You rolled your eyes as you felt like a little child again between the two men. ,,No jokes now. Give me the plan,’’ you ordered and demanded the documents from Vanderwood. Ever since you guys left the car, he didn’t say a word, but since you knew him, it was okay. You knew that something only he knew was going through his head and you understood. You looked through the documents and calculated how many people were needed for such a mission. That’s when you realized - three were too many, especially because they wanted to save money.

,,This information is wrong. I mean, Saeyoung, you alone could handle it. Something is fishy. Let’s get it double checked,’’ you told them once again. ,,Mc,’’ Vanderwood spoke up without looking back, ,,it’s a mission. The agency needs us. They wouldn’t give us something fishy. Trust them a bit more,’’ he said. You pressed your lips together and sat back. You were a bit hurt, because yes, your intuition was mostly wrong, but it was never bad to be cautious. And so the hours went by. Besides Saeyoung, no one really spoke up and then, you finally arrived. ,,Okay, I managed to turn off all the CCTV’s and their computers. I think that they will notice the change in 2.9876 minutes,’’ he said, looking down at his phone. And although you didn’t understand how the heck he understood how many seconds they would take, you understood that the time wasn’t enough. ,,The good news is that I can come with you. It was easier than I thought,’’ Saeyoung said, making you suspicious once again, but you didn’t dare speak up. However, before you guys entered, you grabbed him by his sleeve. ,,Vanderwood, I love you,’’ you whispered to your long, brown haired boyfriend.

,,Me too,’’ he gasped and stroked your hand as he looked at your face, deep into your eyes. ,,I love you,’’ he said as he kissed you before entering the area. Your gun was between your hands as you all walked into the house. Saeyoung was in front of you, leading the way to the place where the documents were held. As you walked the long hall, you noticed that no one was there. There were no guards and no people. There was no way to flee once you would find the room the documents were held in. Your fear grew and you were scared. For the first time, you felt sick while working on a mission.

In the next moment, three men stood in front of you and two more were behind you, making it impossible to run back into the hall outside. Saeyoung stopped and took his gun, pointing it at one of the men. You did the same, turning your back to Vanderwood. ,,This wasn’t supposed to happen,’’ you hissed while you pressed your teeth together, remembering that the documents said that only three men were supposed to be in the house. ,,Yeah, but it’s happening, you idiot,’’ a man laughed at you and observed the three of you. By now, Vanderwood stepped in front of you so that none of those men could even point their gun at you. ,,There’s no way to escape. Your agency wants you dead…’’ someone else laughed and pointed the gun at Vanderwood. But like always, he was staying calm. You didn’t know that Vanderwood didn’t care if he would die today. He didn’t care if he would die one day if it meant saving you. If you could escape, he wouldn’t mind dying. You pressed your lips together and thought about this the most logical way. Without anyone noticing, since you were between the two men, you pulled out a ball and threw it in front of Saeyoung so that the three men wouldn’t be able to see you guys. The room was suddenly filled with white smoke as the men in front of you couldn’t see anything anymore. This gave you the chance to flee.

Quickly, you and Saeyoung shot at both of the men standing in front of you. The bullets hit their legs as they fell to the floor beneath them. You had to use this chance to get away. Pulling Vanderwood and Saeyoung, you ran towards the direction you came from, hoping to get to the entrance to get out. ,,RUN FOR GOD’S SAKE!’’ you cried and yelled, making both guys run faster.

,,THEY’RE HERE!’’ a different voice hissed. ,,There’s no escape,’’ the man laughed behind you as he tried to keep up with you guys. You looked behind one last time and knowing that he would shoot at either one of you, you made it easier for him.

You stopped running and pushed the two boys apart. You stayed in the middle, turning around to the man with the gun. He smirked and you saw his smile. The next thing you saw was black. The bullet hit you in your abdomen and made you fall backwards. The pain was the worst you ever felt. You gasped for air and cried out. It felt like hours when you fell back and hit your head on the floor, not being able to stay on your own two feet. You heard more gunshots and the first thought that came into your mind was that your plan didn’t work and the man also shot Vanderwood or Saeyoung.

You soon, however, could hear your name being called by Vanderwood and in the next moment you could feel his hair tickle your cheek before you got lifted up. The jumping movements of him running behind Saeyoung were making you feel even more pain. You clenched your teeth and grabbed his arm, trying to breathe with the pain as you clenched your eyes shut. You didn’t see that Vanderwood looked down at you three times in a single minute. You didn’t feel his heart racing from the fear and hate he felt. ,,IN THE CAR! IN THE CAR!!’’ Saeyoung yelled. Apparently, he opened the door.

The tires made a loud sound before he stepped on the gas and drove away. ,,I knew…’’ you gasped as talking made you feel even more pain, but at least you managed to open your eyes. Your head laid on your boyfriend’s lap as his hands were pressing on your wound. No one responded to your words. ,,FUCKING THROW OUT YOUR DEVICES! THROW THEM OUT OF THE WINDOW! OR ELSE THEY WILL TRACK US DOWN!’’ Saeyoung hissed and opened the windows. Vanderwood quickly did what the red haired boy yelled and threw his and your phone out of the window.

,,The fucking laptop, VANDERWOOD, THE LAPTOP,’’ Saeyoung yelled as he tried to make the turn, almost losing control of the wheel when he tried to look back at his friend.

,,FUCKING CONCERTRADE ON THE ROAD!’’ Vanderwood hissed back. His anger made him move a bit and made you moan in pain. Vanderwood got rid of the laptop and looked out of the window as the device broke in a few pieces. Then his eyes went down on your lap. You closed your eyes again, but the fact that you were breathing calmed him a bit. You were still alive and you would survive, because losing him was better than losing you. He couldn’t lose you; not now, not on his lap, and not on him. Suddenly, a car appeared right behind them. Saeyoung looked into the mirror and Vanderwood knew that the red haired boy was filled with fear and adrenaline, but he also knew that Saeyoung knew what his next steps were.

,,There’s a sea a few meters from here. Put the helmets on and tie the belt together. Don’t clip it in, I will drive into the water and we will have to swim out of it. Open the door and the windows and hold the door,’’ Saeyoung said, looking back. Vanderwood looked down at you. By now you were having a hard time breathing. He could clearly see that you were in pain. You were sweating and clenching your eyes together and seeing you like that made his heart ache. Why did you do that? Why did you always have to be such a stubborn girl? And why did you have to be his girl? Why did he have to fall in love with you, care so much about you that he would even die for you? But now there was no way to think about these kinds of things. He held you closer to himself as he nodded and did what Saeyoung ordered him to do. ,,Take the bag next to you and hold onto it. It’s the only safety we have. I will have to call Jumin with the second phone I have in there and the agency will believe that we died when we fell into the sea. We will escape the agency this time. Do you understand?’’ Saeyoung asked calmly, and as soon Vanderwood nodded, Saeyoung hit his beloved car against the guard rail, making the car fly high and crash down, splashing into the water.

Vandwood yelled and screamed, holding the door as good as possible when the car fell into the sea. With all his might, he tried to push the door open as soon as they were sinking. Water was flowing inside and he began to panic. He looked at you and realized that you were unconscious and you wouldn’t be able to escape by yourself. Vanderwood kissed you with tears in his eyes. He was sure that he would die today and there was no way that he would die without kissing you for the last time…

Suddenly, he got pulled away. The seat belt was undone as his body quickly floated up, bringing him up to the surface of the ocean. As soon as his head was over the water, he couldn’t help but yell for you.

,,MC?! MC!’’ he kept crying and tried to look around, only seeing that he was below a stone that was hiding him from the car that was following the three of you. ,,Shut the fuck up?! Why did you tie it so tightly?!’’ Saeyoung asked him as he had you in his arms. ,,they will think we died and drowned here, although, they will never find bodies…’’ Saeyoung coughed and finally pulled you out of the water, checking your pulse.

,,Mc, we will be fine…. we will be okay,’’ Vanderwood whispered. Two hours passed ever since Saeyoung called Jumin with the second phone and he was holding onto the bag. Vanderwood bandaged your injury and with his own body, he tried his best to keep you warm. His hand never let go on yours as your head was on his lap. He was tearing up by now. The shirt he used to bandage you was already soaked in your blood. He begged God to let you survive and to take him instead, but he knew that no one was listening to him.

,,Saeran is moving our things with Zen and Yoosung. I don’t know why, but Jumin said we shouldn’t worry about the bodies. He will bring the media here to make fake news stories that three bodies were found so that the agency thinks that we died here tonight. He will be here soon and Mc will survive,“ Saeyoung said and sat down, leaning his head against the stone wall behind him. ,,You won’t die on me. I told you I love you and I mean it. If you die, you will take a part of me…’’ he whispered, knowing that they would come out of this mess safe...

*Alternative ending*

Vanderwood put his head on yours, realizing that you stopped breathing… He opened his eyes and realized that he was trapped in a car filled with water, with two lifeless bodies...

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

02.06.2021// 23:30 MEST

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

Text

Out of The Woods

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 4

"They loved each other recklessly"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even when you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the Stark tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 4,754

Warnings: some angst and fluff, some shade was thrown, mentions of violence.

A/N: this is one of my favourite songs ever. Again, I suggest listening to the song which I linked both on Spotify and YouTube right below. As always you can always ask to be added to the taglist!

A/N: the dividers were made by the lovely @chrissquares! Thank you @nacho-bucky for beta reading this!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

song on Spotify and YouTube

It's been a while since you felt this way.

Even back then, it was rare that you woke up before him, but you always relished it. You could feel all of him, the comforting weight of him almost lulled you back to sleep. With his chest pressed against your back, and arm curled around you, it felt as if he was enveloping all of you. You didn't mind that. It was weird how easily you fell back into old patterns, but how could you not? The only time you ever felt this good was with him, you never knew this kind of thing exists before him, and you never saw it again after him. But here it was again.

You couldn't bring yourself to care that it won't last, not with the way he felt next to you.

Certainly not with the small feather like kisses you now felt being pressed against your neck, spreading goose bumps in their wake.

"What's on your mind, love?" you loved hearing his voice in the morning.

"Do you think it'll all be worth it?"

"We will find out with time." He made you believe that, he knew the effect he had on you.

He felt colder against you than you remembered, he was different.

"They won't like this, you know."

"Since when do you care about what other people think?" he lifted himself onto an elbow to look at you.

You were different too.

"I have a family now. So many things have changed, Loki." His hair was softer now, you smiled as you racked your fingers through his messy hair, it was your fault after all. "You changed too."

A lot has happened after he left you, he was grateful that he decided to leave you, it was the right thing to do even if it hurt you.

"I did, I suppose."

"I mean, after you- you left it was a good few years and then I saw you on TV in the battle of New York, and next thing I know you are here in the tower with me."

"Yes, a lot has happened." He dosed off in thought.

"What?"

"Nothing, darling, we should get up." He met your lips in a short kiss, smiling down at you.

"Fine, let's go." You grabbed the sheets and pulled it against you, searching for your clothes. You pulled yourself up from the bed when you didn't see find your shirt which you changed to last night, at least that was before your second round. "Hey Loki did you see my-"

Turning around he looked at you with a smirk, already dressed in new clothes. You totally forgot about his magic, he always did it.

"Panties? They are right here, but I'm afraid they are quite ruined." You wished you could wipe that smirk off his face.

"I was looking for my shirt, you asshole." He just held up his other hand and you grabbed your shirt, turning to go to your closet.

You missed him so much.

"Then you have to fold it again- no Loki," you giggled when you watched him try to copy your movements on this lazy afternoon you shared with him. "Fold it to the other side, the airplane needs to be identical on both sides so it could fly." Loki glared at you and you tried and failed to stop your giggles. But when you weren't looking at him, he couldn't help but smile at you.

"I don't know why you call this paper thing an airplane, it doesn't look like those machines you showed me pictures of." He looked at your perfectly crafted paper and scoffed when he saw his.

"Because these paper airplanes can fly, look" you waited for him to finish his one before throwing yours. He watched your proud expression when it flew around for a couple of seconds before it fell on the floor and you went to fetch it. "Try to do it with yours."

Loki concentrated with furrowed eyebrows as he copied your movements and watched as his work flew for a second before it crash landed on your couch.

"That was great!"

"That was pathetic!"

"We can try again." You fixed his airplane and gave it to him.

"Or, we can do this my way." He smiled at you mischievously and told you to throw it at three."

"One, two, three!" when you released your plane, your watched in wonder as Loki worked his magic on it. Your two paper airplanes were flying throughout the living room together. You caught him staring at you when you looked back at him. Smiling, you leaned over the table to connect his lips to yours in a short kiss. "Isn't my way much better?"

You wanted to wipe that stupid smirk off of his face, so you brought him in for another kiss as the paper airplanes kept flying around the room.

•

"You can tell yourself whatever you want Tony, you are not a good cook." you coughed at the smoke that filled up the kitchen. Natasha was fanning herself with a towel.

"Well at least I am trying to cook! I was going to make something nice for our Asgardian guests." You almost laughed at him pointing a pan at Natasha with an apron on, but that comment died on your throat. "Where did you disappear to last night?"

"What?" you stood next to the open window, getting some fresh air.

"One minute you were with me and the next you walked away and disappeared. Wait-" she paused and tilted her head. "Did you go home with someone?"

Sam whistled from the door.

"Y/N go get some!" he raised a hand to high five you but you only glared at him.

"I got tired of the party, so what if I did?"

"That guy from IT who has a crush on you will be very disappointed."

"Who the hell has a crush on me?" with the smoke out you finally got your eggs and toast for breakfast, snatching the one that wasn't burnt.

"Mike? You know that guy who was talking to you last night?"

"What? No way, he was just making conversation and he was talking to you too." You scrunched your nose.

"Are you doubting my spy skills?"

"Yep, but either way it's not my fault if he's upset it's his problem." You shrugged, biting into your food.

"So you actually were with a guy." You looked up mid bite.

"You bitch."

"Language, the captain is here."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, Steve."

"Y/N met a guy."

"You what now?" he crossed his arms and looked at you. "Who is he?"

"No one, can we just move on? We have a briefing soon with the asgardians you're making so-called food for, so just eat up and shut up."

Natasha only shrugged at Steve's raised eyebrow.

•

"Brother, where did you go to last night? I found Tony but I couldn't find you after we split up." Thor spoke to his brother as they walked through the corridors of the Avengers Tower.

"I went to the lab, parties are not my thing, neither are your midgardian friends." Thor shook his head.

"They are really nice Loki, especially Y/N." Loki faltered in his step at her mention. It did not go unnoticed by Thor.

"Why are you so insisted on talking about her? I told you already that we are not-"

"Loki, despite everything that happened I still know you, just a little bit." He put a hand on Loki's shoulder, stopping in the middle of the hall. "I just want to tell you to be careful with her. Her friends here, and especially Steve- he will not react to it well."

"So I should just bow down to that?" Loki looked up at Thor, anger flashed in his eyes.

Shrugging Thor's hand off, he went into the room where the avenger's were sitting around a table. In the front stood Tony, waiting for the two asgardians to arrive, while he snacked.

And then Loki saw you, you sat right at the head of the table just across from him, catching his eye and then looking down when you started to feel your face heat up. Wanda smiled slightly beside you.

"Okay, now that we are all here, tell them what you started telling me yesterday. Thanks for not showing up Horny head, Thor couldn't tell me everything without you."

Thor chuckled and held Loki back.

"There were weapons that were stolen from the Asgard royal vaults. We still don't know how they managed to get to Asgard or even get into the vaults in the palace. Loki knows more about what was stolen, go ahead brother."

"Very well, the weapons that were stolen are very ancient and very dangerous. One of them is Laevateinn, my old wand-"

"You had a wand?" Pietro laughed from the corner, you kept your wide eyes on Loki. He told you about it several times and this wasn't good.

"What else was stolen?" you leaned forward now, but Loki had a hard time meeting your gaze as he looked back at Thor as if they had a silent conversation. "Loki?"

Steve turned his head to you, surprised at your tone. He was even more surprised when Loki met your eyes and kept them on you as he obeyed your request.

"It's called the Skofnung."

•

It has been an hour, and it was safe to say that everyone in the room was on their toes, tense.

"You said you kept an enchantment on it! You said you hid it, how the hell did they get to your wand?" you were standing up, yelling at Loki in frustration.

"I did do that! But after I was away for a long time, the spell around it weakened and my stupid father thought it would be safer to put it in the vaults alongside all the other things!" he countered back.

"Hey Loki, do not talk about our father like that."

"Oh come on Thor, he is stupid don't deny it." You were so frustrated that you didn't even care anymore, you could feel Steve's gaze burning into your skin as he stood beside you.

"And how would you know that?" he asked you then, and before you could think you replied on instinct.

"Because he always treated Loki like a-" you realized your mistake when you saw a shift in his eyes, and the room went quiet as the spies and geniuses caught on.

You hated that between all the anger in his eyes, you saw betrayal there too.

Loki leaned against the wall and watched the scene in front of him unraveling.

"So, it's him? Is that why you weren't telling us anything?" Steve got angrier by the second and you didn't dare look around to see the others' responses. "You two were-"

"Okay, Steve calm down now." You were thankful for Wanda but Steve only shot her down.

"No, I want to hear what she has to say. Did you lie to us about anything else?"

"I didn't lie to you Steve! I was just trying to-"

"No but you did lie to me, you are involved with the psychotic guy who terrorized earth!" he pointed to Loki then, but you knew that if you looked at Loki you'll break down.

"Steve, maybe we should slow down from the accusations." Sam put a hand on his shoulder but he didn't let down.

"Yes, Steve I was with him, and I didn't tell you because I was scared of this exact reaction! This is what I tried to prevent!"

Loki was ready to fight the captain for making you feel this way.

"You can't be with him Y/N! He is not good for you! You don't know all of the things that he did!"

"Captain, if you have any anger let it out on me, not her." Loki spoke up and walked forward in the room.

"Oh I assure you, I will." He sent daggers at Loki before looking back at you, at this point your eyes were teary. "Y/N you will stay away from him."

"Enough!" your eyes flashed at him and the room glowed in purple before it all went quiet. Wanda looked at her friends' dazed eyes and she was about to go to you when Bucky beat her do it.

"Doll, you can't keep him like this forever, he will still fight. We both know that." He and Wanda moved through their friends to get to you as you went to the door.

"Darling what did you do?" he stopped you when you grabbed him to go away.

"I just needed it to stop." You turned to Bucky and Wanda. "They are fine, I just sent them to calm down, it'll wear off once I'm up in my room. Please just calm them down, I can't bear him being mad at me."

They nodded at you. After that you grabbed Loki and left to go up to your room. It was silent.

"You shouldn't have done that." Loki looked down at you with concern.

"He didn't stop. Do you see now why I didn't want them to know?" you crossed your arms, but your demeanor soon fell and he was ready for you when you rested your head on his chest.

"I understand. I didn't realize you were that close."

"They are my family Loki, I may didn't have one when we were together but now I do," you looked up at him. "And I care about them."

Loki locked the door to your room in a green flash when you went inside.

"Come lie with me?"

"It's midday my darling." You only hummed in response and got on the bed. With the begging look you gave him he had to oblige.

Getting in the bed, you laid your head on his chest and he traced invisible patterns on your exposed skin. His other hand playing with your hair, he couldn't help but drift off into his memories.

•

"Do you want me to go punch him? You know I would." He kept silent and just took your hand until you got on the bed with him. "Or maybe I could go your style and stab him. Lightly."

"I just want to forget about that." You nodded and laid back. You let him lay his head on your chest. You wrapped your arms around him, as if you could protect him from the world. "He is my dad too, I don't understand why he always listens to Thor and not me."

"As I said, I'd gladly punch him for you. I don't care if he is a king."

"Thor's coronation will arrive soon enough. I don't think he'll ever realize that I could be king too." You had to hold back your anger at his so called family, you had to hold it back because now all he needed was a warm place, which he always found with you. He stayed quiet, playing gently with the necklace hanging from your neck, which he gave you all those months ago.

If he could, he'd stay here with you until the end of eternity. He would stay home.

"Rest now, my love, I'll be here when you wake up."

•

You woke up to Loki. He turned his head to you and gave you a light kiss to the crown of your head.

"How long was I asleep?" you stretched a bit before falling back onto Loki.

He was still here.

"About an hour, do you want me to get you some food?"

"No." you shook your head at him, he was scared of the glint in your eye. "I'll go get it myself."

"Darling, do not ignite this fire for nothing." He knew it was futile, once you set your mind on something there was nothing to do.

"I don't care, they'll deal with it. I need you now. I tried to do it quietly but they just won't listen so I'm just going to do it like you would. A big 'fuck you' to them."

"Maybe consider at least-"

"We both know I am stubborn, so you are going to come with me and we are going to get food." He remembered you being feisty but not to this level, you grabbed his arm and walked out of the door.

It could be over a week from now, but right now you just needed him with you, and they needed to realize that.

"Well then, let's do this properly." Loki smirked when he stopped you, and you matched him when he put his arms around you, and in the next second you were just outside of the kitchen.

The Avengers in the living room stilled at your sudden appearance. Steve was nowhere in sight, neither was Bucky.

"I'm going to get us food, stay here." You gave him a playful peck on the lips and went to the kitchen.

Natasha joined you a moment after.

"What are you doing?" she leaned on the wall when you pulled out some leftover pizza.

"Heating up some pizza, do you want some?"

"You know that's not what I asked," you turned your back to her, walking to the microwave. "Why him? He is not-"

"How would you know if he is not right for me? You don't know me, or him." You turned back to her, furious. You were surprised to see the momentary offended look in her eyes.

"Do you know him? He changed. There are things that you don't know, that we do."

"I know him better than all of you, even better than Thor. I know enough about him to know who he is and who he is not." Scoffing, you got out the slices of pizza.

"It's been a while since you saw him last, and by the looks of it he hurt you pretty badly, a lot has changed for both him and you."

"Do you really think I don't know that?"

"I'm just saying, Y/N, how do you know he won't hurt you again?" you took the plates to the table.

"I don't."

"I'm just looking out for you. So does he."

She didn't have to specify, you had no clue what you were going to do with him.

"You are practically a mini Steve at times, always so stubborn." She left you at that.

Loki was outside of the kitchen, just around the corner in the common room he stood with a sly smirk when some of the Avengers were in edge when he sat.

He decided to use the opportunity to study them, when one caught his eye. The scarlet witch. He hadn't met her before, yet she seemed to have a certain connection to you, she was unaffected by the commotion earlier that day.

She returned his gaze and he was suddenly affected by a weird daze. She was in his mind.

Raising a brow at her, he let her try to find something, he was stronger. He felt something crack in his mind and he could see it clear as day.

Thor and his friends were talking in the bar, drinking as usual, when he felt an urge to go back to your arms, longing to just sit with you and watch one of those silly shows you love so much.

He quickly excused himself and as fast as he could, he evaded all the eyes so he could get to Midgard the fastest.

He stood in the middle of your living room, not wanting to scare you (again). It took him a second to get his bearing when he realized the scene in front of him. Two men in dark outfits were there, when they turned he knew they were no ordinary men. And they were clearly not wanted here.

On instinct and fear he pulled out two daggers and stabbed them both in the necks before they could retaliate. When he was sure they were down, he sent them somewhere far away. His eyes frantically looked around for you. Only then when it was silent he could hear your short breaths and whimpers.

"Y/N? My love?" he went towards the bathroom which was locked, not missing a beat he got inside and saw you crying and scared on the corner, holding a hair straightener as a weapon.

"Loki?" you lowered the weapon and Loki crouched down beside you, taking your shaking body in his arms.

"Oh my love, I'm here. Don't worry, I'm here." He held you close as you let out sobs until you calmed down and your breathing went back to normal.

"I heard voices and I hid here but I didn't have my phone with me, I forgot it. They would've found me and I couldn't call for anyone, Loki." He only hushed down your panicked voice.

"I promise no harm will ever come to you when you have me, I'll always be here." He picked you up and took you to bed, spreading endless kisses all over your face.

You were curled on top of him until you fell asleep safe and sound. Once Loki was sure you were sleeping, he started chanting. He was going to make sure you were protected when he wasn't around. He put up wards around your apartment with the oldest and strongest spell he knew. By the end of it he was tired, but it was all worth it for you. Anything was worth it.

He had never felt such fear.

It was hard to keep his strong demeanor up after the triggered memory. Looking at the witch all he saw was a surprised look, he had clearly underestimated her abilities. It won't happen again.

He heard your footsteps and was eager to get out and away from the witch when the elevator doors opened and there the Captain stood, alongside the Sergeant and the Falcon.

The blue eyes were trained on him. Then they moved to a figure behind him.

The falcon put a hand on his shoulder. Steve let out a chuckle when Loki went up and stood next to you.

"The literal cold blooded killer? Are you sure about your choice here, kid?" his jaw was set, but his eyes showed more.

"He's here to help you. And yes." You took Loki's hand and kept contact with Steve.

You barely heard Bucky mutter under his breath.

"Aren't everyone in this room killers, Captain?" Loki challenged.

"Some of us have an actual reason, not an excuse." He countered.

"Steve, maybe we should let it go for now" Bucky whispered to Steve and the two of you walked back to the kitchen for your ready meal. Said meal being pizza.

"An excuse," you scoffed. "You did something bad yes, but you're not making excuses for it, you don't have an excuse for it you are just redeeming yourself and getting better. You are just setting things right."

You whispered the last part, but it didn't matter because you drifted off into your head, not noticing Loki's quiet demeanor.

•

That night, Loki lay with you in your bed wide awake as you drifted asleep next to him.

The events of the day stuck to him, the memory lingered in his mind as if it happened just mere hours ago, the strike of fear. He did not think about that day often, but he knew exactly where the witch took it from.

He stood in the middle of your apartment; you still weren't home, so he decided to walk around the place that held so many memories of him and you. The first time you invited him over; your first kiss; the first time he told you about his powers; the first I love you. But to every first time there is also a last.

He hid the numerous cuts he had. You'd probably fuss about how he would need 20 stitches before taking care of him.

It was well into the night now here on Midgard when you walked through the door. A big smile adorned your face when you saw Loki. Putting your bags down, you quickly locked the door and ran up to hug him. He held himself back from the itch to hold you and hug you. You pulled back then, looking at Loki who had a stoic look in his eyes.

"Loki, what's wrong?" the longer he looked at you, the more it started to hurt him. You weakened him.

"I'm going back to Asgard. And I will not come back to Midgard." You stepped away. One hand wrapped around your waist as the other clutched the necklace on your neck. He felt the tears brimming in his eyes at your hurt look. He could hide his tears, he knew you couldn't hide yours, but he had to go through with this.

"What? Loki, what do you mean?"

It was a hard talk. Both of you were hurt but only one showed it.

He had to do this. He had to be the one to walk out and set you free.

•

You woke up with a gasp, taking in your surroundings you were glad to see Loki was still asleep. Getting up, you decided to get some fresh air and went up to the roof.

The cold breeze hit the bare skin of your arms and suddenly you regretted not having taken a blanket with you. The city looked so calm when you looked at this from this height, so clean and collected. Then again, you knew it was because of the height, everything was uglier up close.

Leaning in on the railway, you looked out and tried to clear your mind.

"Cold?" you turned around surprised to find Steve there, getting up from where he sat.

"Were you there the whole time?" he nodded to you and you didn't complain when he put on you his big sweatshirt. You certainly didn't complain about the warmness it brought you.

You kept staring forward when he leaned on the railway next to you.

"You know I'm more stubborn than you, right?" you scoffed at that.

"No you're not!"

"Ask Bucky, he will tell you."

"Bucky knows I am just as stubborn as you." He shook his head fondly at you, then his face fell a bit when he looked at you.

"What are you doing, kid?" Steve turned to look at you. "He is bad news, you are smarter than that."

"I am smarter than that, I am smarter than to judge someone you don't know. I know Loki better than all of you do!" you turned to him, crossing your arms, still holding the sweatshirt close to you.

"How do you know him that way? You said you haven't seen him in years. Maybe he wasn't a mass murderer back then but he is now." You could tell he was getting angrier trying to get you to understand him. People kept saying that you are Steve's daughter, so you are not one to back down.

"He did bad things yes but he changed, now he is here to help us and fix things!" you stomped your foot in the ground.

"He is here because of the Asgardian weapons, he is not here for you Y/N! wake up, he will only hurt you!"

"He is still here, with me!" you felt the angry tears brimming.

"How can you still love him? That creature that he is!"

"Don't call him that!"

"But he-"

"No! you can't judge me for loving him!"

"It's wrong Y/N, he is not good for you, I won't allow it." He yelled again in his captain voice and you have had enough. Apparently he did too.

"Steve you can't judge me!" he was walking away from you and from the conversation before you yelled at him and he faltered. "You only knew Peggy for a short period of time and yet you still felt so much for her even when you weren't together. And even after you woke up and managed to find her! I knew Loki for way longer than that and I loved him for more, so you can't blame me for still loving him today and going back to him!"

The heat of the moment didn't let you apologize for what you said, but when he walked out of your view only then did you realize what you said and you wished you could take it back.

You didn't want to hurt him like this.

•

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love

#loki #my writing #out of the woods #1989 #loki x reader #loki odinson #taylor swift #fluff #angst #loki laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki odinson x reader #fanfiction #1989 taylor's version #loki angst #loki fluff #loki imagine #loki show

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bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher · 4 years

Text

lip sync your way into my heart

( @thecomfortofoldstorries and I got into a fun head-cannon debate last night about Tik Tok POVs and this is what happened)

--- Jaskier has never really been in the loop when it comes to social media. He was behind the curve when he made his Tumblr and he was two years late to sign up for Twitter. It’s no surprise that he finally downloads Tik Tok and makes an account several months after it’s become a viral platform.

That also means all the good usernames are taken; Jaskier types in @buttercup-bard, sees that it’s available, and calls it a day. This isn’t an app he’s going to care about. It’s just to waste time during his forty minute commute to and from campus.

Alas, he has ADHD...and this shit is addictive.

Especially, he hates to admit, the thirst-trap hotties who do weird, obscure, edgy POV videos. Jaskier knows they’re aimed primarily towards teen and young adult women but he’s a red-blooded Redanian gay. He’s horny. He can watch a few POV Tik Toks on the bus and thirst after pretty boys with big muscles...as a treat.

By Jaskier’s second week of classes he’s found a definite favorite Tik-Tokker (is that what they’re called? Or is it influencer? Jaskier doesn’t care). The guy is gorgeous. He has beautiful honey-gold eyes and long, silvery-white hair; which is appropriate since his handle is @whitehairdontcare. He makes a wide range of content, too. Perfect for Jaskier’s Concerta-focused tastes. There are some dances here and there and some Q&A videos, but for the most part he does POVs.

Jask and his roommates, Essi and Priscilla, have spent many happy hours poring over Mr. White Hair’s account, watching and re-watching their favorites from his vast repertoire of content. Essi loves his weird, edgy-boi shit. Stuff with titles like “POV: I fight the bully who insulted your haircut” or “POV: you make a deal with the devil for true love”. Stuff that Jaskier would have been into when he still listened to My Chemical Romance on the regular (okay, he still does, but don’t tell Essie).

Priscilla is a huge fan of Tik Tok dances. She follows every challenge and ranks her favorites, compiling them into a YouTube series that’s more for her self-gratification than anything else. Mr. White Hair is generally towards the top of her list whenever he deigns to follow a trend that doesn’t involve badly applied makeup blood smears. The guy clearly works out and the definition of his body (and the movements of said really hot body) make the dances look so much more fluid and fun. Jaskier and Priscilla clearly share a brain-cell when it comes to appreciating Mr. White Hair’s hotness.

Jaskier’s favorites, of course, are the cute little POVs that lie scattered between all the edgy ones. Stuff made for the softies of Tik Tok. Stuff made for boys like Jaskier. “POV: I fix your car for you” is the one he’s probably re-watched the most. Mr. White Hair is lying on his back beneath a jacked-up blue car, oil smeared in a few strategic places on his face, chest, and arms. At the very end of the Tik Tok he moves the wrench out of the way of his face completely and winks directly into the camera.

Jaskier hates to admit it, even to himself, but no matter how many times he’s watched that stupid twenty-give second video, that wink drops his heart straight down into his shoes and fills his stomach with butterflies.

---

“Hey do you guys carry fake blood here?” an almost terrifyingly deep voice asks from behind him. Jaskier twirls around on his heel, Retail Smile firmly in place, and loses his shit the moment he sets eyes on his latest customer.

It’s Mr. White Hair.

Here. In the middle of the aisle of the Party City where Jaskier works every weekend. He’s either going to throw up or pass out or both.

He doesn’t though. Instead, the Demon Lord of Retail possesses his body momentarily and nods, “Right over this way!” He leads the insanely attractive influencer over to the year-round section of Halloween FX makeup and gestures towards the shelf filled with various fake blood capsules, bottles, and packets.

“Thanks,” Mr. White hair smiles. Jaskier nods again, silent, and drifts back towards the counter in a daze. He’s the only one on shift right now (it is not a very busy Party City) and he knows that he can’t pass out on the dirty tile floor or he’ll get fired (and perhaps tetanus). He just needs to power through the next few minutes and then he can crouch next to the helium tank and freak the fuck out.

But not until Mr. White Hair is gone.

Just as Jaskier is re-learning how to breathe normally, the sexy internet star makes his way towards the counter with an armful of products and the retail worker loses it again. Thank god for the ability to compartmentalize.

“So, just these for you?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“No problem! I love your Tik Toks by the way,” Jaskier replies automatically. His eyes widen slightly. Why the fuck did I mention his Tik Toks!?

“Thanks,” the guy says and blushes. “I didn’t know they’d gotten so popular.”

“You have like two million followers?” Jaskier laughs. “I think that makes you pretty popular. Maybe even famous.”

“Oh yeah...right.”

“Anyway, your total is going to be twenty-one fifty.”

Mr. White Hair pays and Jaskier bags all his fake blood, wondering the whole time exactly what kind of content he can look forward to seeing. More of Essi’s edgy shit, apparently. As he’s handing the plastic bag over the counter, Jaskier smiles and works up the courage to ask, “Is your hair naturally white? I don’t mean to pry, it’s just really pretty.”

Geralt’s face goes slightly pinker than before and he nods. “Yeah. Weird genetic thing. Thanks.”

“No problem. Right on,” Jaskier beams. “Well, it was nice meeting a famous person. Thanks for stopping in.”

“Thanks for helping me out,” the Tik Tokker replies. Jaskier watches him exit the store before ripping his phone from his pocket and dialing Essi. He needs to talk to her before he spirals into a giddy panic attack.

---

“Hey Jask have you seen that hot guy’s latest Tik Tok?” Priscilla asks, lounging across her futon like a queen. Jaskier looks up from his copy of The Collective History of Aedirnian Funeral Dirges and wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion.

“No, why?”

“You should go check your phone. I think you’ll be happily surprised.”

“Oh-kay,” Jaskier says, drawing out the ‘kay’ for as long as it takes him to get up from his seat on the floor and exit the room. He retrieves his phone from the charger in the kitchen and returns to Priscilla’s bedside. He opens his new favorite app and pulls up @whitehairdontcare’s page. There’s a new POV from earlier this morning and Jaskier taps on it.

His eyes go round when he reads the caption: “POV: You’re the cute cashier at the Party City and I’m bad at flirting”.

Mr. White Hair is staring into the camera with those beautifully golden eyes, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand while he lip syncs to whatever song is playing. He’s wearing a tight, navy blue v-neck and Jaskier can see the movement of every one of his ridiculously defined muscles as they flex. The silver wolf’s-head necklace Mr. White Hair always wears around his neck is in its usual place, dangling down between those perfect collarbones…

Jaskier takes a shaky breath and glances up at his friends, who are staring back at him with wide eyes. “It could be about anyone.”

“How many Party Cities do you think he went to yesterday?”

“I’m not going to get my hopes up,” Jaskier snorts. “He’s a social media influencer and I am one semester away from finishing my degree and my thesis. Why would he ever want to be with someone like me?”

Essi rolls her eyes and Jaskier goes back to his homework.

---

Later that night, alone in his room, Jaskier plugs his earbuds into his phone and watches the Tik Tok over and over. He finds the song Geralt used and adds it to his Work Is Tough playlist, which he’s allowed to play over the loudspeakers at the store so long as he’s working a solo shift.

He watches Mr. White Hair’s plush pink lips move around the words and dreams of kissing them someday, as far-fetched as that scenario is (because this video is definitely not for him, that’s impossible):

“My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.

So won't you kill me, so I die happy.

My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury,

or wear as jewelry; whichever you prefer.”

Fucking Dashboard Confessional. Of course. One of Jaskier’s favorite bands from his emo days in middle school. If this really was for Jaskier, if this really was a legitimate attempt at online flirtation by Mr. White Hair himself, it was working.

Jaskier buries his head in his pillow and sighs.

#geraskier fic #geraskier tik tok au #there will be a part 2 i promise #geraskier fanfic #geraskier #geraskier au #all I do is make aus all day and work retail #geraskier fluff #flirty geralt #influencer geralt #party city employee jaskier #college student jaskier #geraskier college au #geraskier alternate universe #oops I keep making cute shit

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leamy-world · 3 years

Text

Some afterthoughts on The Devil Judge (spoilers for all the drama!)

Hello everyone! I hope you’re doing well!!

I wanted to write my thoughts after the finale aired because ep. 13-14 made me a mess and were too nerve-wracking! After these two episodes, i only wanted the week to go by fast to see how the finale unfolded (but at the same time, this drama entertained me sm i didn’t want it to end haha).

Watching this drama each week and reading your reactions and thoughts made me enjoy it even more, i’m glad i came back on tumblr! It was a really nice ride (more like an emotional rollercoaster haha)! It motivated me to write my thoughts and analyses on fictions i watched in the future, especially My Mister and Beyond Evil!! I forgot how much fun it was to do that and putting my thoughts into words gave me a little closure to my watch haha

These are just some afterthoughts & personal interpretations i had and were maybe probably already discussed, but i couldn’t get them out of my head haha

See you around and take care!!!

THE CAST. It left a strong impression on me and i can’t see other actors playing their respective roles!

— Yohan portrayed by Ji Sung … i have no words, this devil judge left me speechless! His character, to his Devilish Smile (and hollow laugh in front of CKH and his son, or Gaon), his variating voice intonations (like damn, he’s a living ASMR like Lee Sung Kyung), his held back emotions and touch-starved and even desperate touches when it came to Elijah and Gaon, to his rage and unhinged moments!

I winced seeing him contort in pain when Sunah revealed Elijah accidentally lit the church fire, and the two times he hugged Elijah totally destroyed me. His last scene with Gaon showed how gazes & micro-expressions alone could convey unspoken words as strongly. I’m weak for these kinds of scenes, My Mister for example did it and killed me haha

For this post, i rewatched some scenes and damn, Elijah and Yohan’s support of Gaon after Soohyun’s death was really emotional …

(They had no business in making Gaon have this kind of dream, those german scissors left a ... strong impression on him haha)

— Kim Min Jung’s depiction of Sunah’s was hauntingly beautiful, a femme fatale who kept a broken child deep inside (and at the same time surfacing on her manners and personality) and a strong businesswoman. It’s a fascinating character i loved hating as a villain but still sympathized with. The scene where she murdered the former foundation’s president sent me chills down my spine (i still have her shot of her, sitting at his bureau and manipulating his speech video)!

The melancholy slipping through her facade when she visited the mansion the first time in a while, as well as her devastation in front of the President’s scheme, by the young girl’s bed at the hospital were memorable. The tension between her and Yohan was incredible: they both managed to keep a very disturbing but enthralling aura, tangled with nostalgia at the same time each time they met.

(Looking at her reflection is a recurring pattern for Sunah’s character, i found this shot above interesting, divided in the two ends of the mirror, as if her self can’t be found on the other side anymore)

— This was the first time i saw a drama with Jin Young and i really loved his playing! Never thought I’d say one day i enjoyed someone’s tears and rage on screen, but his crying scenes stuck with me, especially in the prison yard and the last episode (he deserves therapy after all he went through, really) … And his letter to Elijah … (i’m glad nobody harshly revealed the truth to her, i’m really glad!)

I loved to see how his gaze evolved through this journey with Yohan. His endearment to Soohyun, Elijah and Yohan was very precious ;; Even though Yohan was the one who was first seen feeling lonely, Gaon’s loneliness since his parents’ death slipped through his seemingly fine world, i found that interesting! (And on a lighter note, i’ll always remember the truth behind Mrs. Ji’s cooking, Gaon’s epic reaction, and the pure comedy she gets to own a healthy food shop thanks to Yohan!!)

I also enjoyed his supportive friendship with Jinjoo!!

— Park Gyu Young’s acting was also on point! It’s really too bad she didn’t get more screen time because i wanted to know more about Soohyun!! I felt robbed haha, because when TDJ began airing, they introduced her as one of the ‘main’ characters of this story ;; The scene when she was on CKH’s suicide scene really left a mark on me + when she was confronting Yohan, especially after she took Elijah out!

— Elijah. Just Elijah, our best girl!!! Apparently it’s one of Jeon Chae Eun’s first roles, she did so well!! Along with Ji Sung and Jin Young, she gave a whole new definition to the Domestic Scenes, i swear. These scenes will keep a special place in my heart for a long time! Her adorable smile and cheekiness were a refresher in this show!

(They could change TDJ’s concept in a second season and make us a domestic slice of life series, i wouldn’t mind AT ALL! Take my money!!)

Seeing her complicated relationship with her uncle unfold before us deeply moved me. The complete loneliness she silently depicted moving to her bed in the wheelchair, after Gaon left the mansion was heart-wrenching. And also the scenes after Soohyun’s death, hurting with Yohan seeing Gaon’s pain (the way she spoke her worry for the two of them, Yohan couldn’t let the words out properly to Gaon).

— CKH’s character, played by Jang Young Nam, was amazing. Her acting already shattered me when i watched Nobody Knows! Her cold gaze, her harsh tone, she was badass i have to admit!

The narcissistic rage was well depicted in her character, and even though i get where many’s opinions on her death come from (i share it too sometimes, but i feel it more for Sunah), i found this final decision fitting to the character, especially if you look how she treated her own son (each hold felt like a grip from rage eg. in ep. 3, as she maybe felt her son was the cause of her demise).

(HUGE SPOILERS FOR BEYOND EVIL BELOW!!!!)

She reminded me of HKH’s ending: seeing his path to success was crushed with no way out of it except death on his own accord (in his eyes, because it was his absolute life aim, every single being, to his own wife and son, and means, even bending the justice independence, were his expendable ways to pave his path), HJW’s father was set on suicide before his son barged in.

(Funnily enough, the filming spot for CKH’s house is the same for HKH’s house haha)

— And also … Lawyer don’t-worry-i’ll-get-you-out-on-probation Ko deserves a round of applause for the best lawyer he is hahaha

THE STORY’S DEVELOPMENTS (AND SCRIPT). I feel like this story could very well have been developed on 20+ episodes! Even if i know some scenes in a script are sometimes (bound to be) cut in the drama, TDJ’s script leaks make me feel there was SO much more to be told, and so much more to explain some plot events in the airing drama!

Because the story was ambitious, both character and plot(twists which give you whiplash)-driven (and also the filming context with the pandemic), i feel like some choices were made.

The lines of thought about justice and the drama’s attempts at its ‘true’ definition are not lost on me. It was really interesting!

On a side note (there will be many, bear with me haha), the symbolic behind the app’s name, DIKE, which i’m pretty sure (correct me if i’m wrong, i only have some very rough basics in korean haha) is the korean romanization of Nikè, or in ancient greek Νίκη, the greek divinity of Victory ( ‘ㄴ’ in korean sounds like an ’n’ but its pronounciation is more abrupt/brisker, to the point of what could be sounding to ears like a ‘d’).

Nikè is most of the time represented as an attribute to other greek divinities who also embody the victory eg. Zeus or Athena, thus seen as a bestower of victory (in any domain, be it war, games = interestingly enough, the live court is set in a colosseum-like room, arts, …) to the humanity on behalf of these gods (Nikè sometimes stands in her palm as an attribute of Athena, like the owl or the helmet). But sometimes Nikè was also revered an independent protective divinity.

Nikè is represented as a winged divinity in a long robe, flying above the victorious, assisting the humans in their works/challenges eg. handing them a laurel crown as a sign of victory, or a helmet, etc. Its mostly known representation is the Winged Victory of Samothrace (or The Nike of Samothrace) sculpture in the Louvre. The brand Nike also used it in its logo.

It calls back to Yohan’s line: « I make sure i win before the game starts », and in fact, since the beginning, unbeknownst to everybody witnessing the trials and participating to them, the app was his way to win. It foreshadows the ending of the story, Yohan finally taking down the foundation. It also adds to his god/devil image: he assumes the role of the intermediary/abyss of the « gods » (the Justice), taking in all the hubris of the society in order to bring the justice (well, guess we could say it put some hold to the cycle of the powerful culminating to chaos?) back, in some sort of catharsis through DIKE.

It might be a stretch, but Nikè’s winged representation could be found on Gaon’s tattoo (at first to me, it looked like a phoenix/winged angel, which symbolizes a ‘reincarnation’/new beginning for Yohan finding peace, a second chance to his past and Elijah thanks to Gaon & Gaon finding a new world even if his first crumbled ie. his parents and Soohyun’s death and professor Min’s betrayal).

(The whole virus plot by the end of the story made me feel a little uncomfortable given the actual context and the conspiracy theories that are spreading, but it wasn’t used carelessly and served the commentary of the powerful and how far they would go, i think? That said, a fiction, especially a dystopia like this, stays a fiction but when they used it, it gave me a forced laugh haha)

Now, if someone gets to translate some script bits, i’m really looking forward to:

K’s backstory!!!!!

Isaac and Yohan’s past!!!!

More about Elijah!!

Where’s the cat???

What was the script saying for Gaon and Yohan’s confrontation in ep. 12? When Yohan faced the window, waking up from a nightmare after Gaon left?

ABOUT SOOHYUN’S BACKSTORY. (Now, this will get long, i’m sorry but i needed to let my thoughts out haha) The drama introduced her as one of the four main characters with Gaon, Yohan and Sunah. I had so many expectations for her character! Especially from the three scenes we got of her:

➔ In the first episode, we see her save a young girl in the street from two men, looking up at the poster « A safe Korea will be realized from now on. »: it was a great introduction to the blatant lie of the ‘safe’ dystopian world that was being created in the story. It also showed how Soohyun felt in front of this insecure world. A side note, but seeing her hug the young girl like that reminded me the hugs she gave Gaon: she wanted to protect him from this unjust world with all her might (especially the scene in the restaurant where she hugs him). ➔ Her two confrontations with Juk Chang! ➔ Her dilemma and emotional turmoil when she erases Gaon’s presence in CKH’s office.

She was portrayed in the story as Gaon’s pillar since his parents’ tragic death and his moral compass. She’s the lawful citizen, despite feeling helpless to the world’s changes, who hopes it could be saved as long as the rule of law is preserved by everyone, and this begins by respecting it themselves.

But she was not standing around and i kind of regret this was not shown more in the story: she kept doing her best in the « system », fighting from the inside the injustice hoping the little changes could make a difference someday. Because she couldn’t take Yohan’s path, in no way: the system/the law must be respected for it to be sustained. And i’m glad they addressed this point in the drama: Yohan chose to take on the role nobody wanted or even dared to assume, knowing fully well he became a criminal the second he began his plans (just as lawyer Ko said he was no longer a lawyer once he sided with him).

This must not be glorified, nor vilified. As he said, it was a choice he decided to make. She mirrors his choices to some extent and i would have loved to see more of their interactions or her thoughts about that! And how she worked through the system to change things, her vision of the justice. They showed us the flashback of her career choice in high school, and it could have been interesting to learn more about her!

A backstory about her saving the youth and meeting Sunah by accident would have been very interesting (given Sunah knew all about her since the beginning and ordered to kill her). Their meeting wouldn’t have foreshadowed Sunah’s plans, quite the opposite, and it would have given more ‘substance’ to her plans. We were robbed of this relationship haha!

And of course, seeing her side with Yohan & Gaon for a short while (because seeing her team up with them all along the way could’ve been a little ooc) would have been dope. Her arresting Juk Chang while the two of them stop the gang was the closest thing we had to their teamwork ;;

Among the drama’s main focuses (the self-pity of the powerful and the never-ending cycle of their greed, the power displays it ensues which come in many forms in the system’s game), the conception of justice was developed all along the drama. It would have been really interesting to see whether Soohyun’s conception of justice could have changed in her own way!

And professor Min’s potential manipulation of Soohyun!!! Some scenes on their interactions could have been nice to see and explain why she focused solely on Yohan, the only side of the whole story she knew! Her reporting to the professor about her investigation (and him feeling she got too close to the truth) would have made sense because, as she saw Gaon growing apart from her as he was getting closer to the Kangs (especially since she saw him interact with Elijah when they invited her to the café, like Sunah saw how Gaon fit in their family at the dinner scene), she would’ve wanted to protect him without him knowing because she knew it’d have hurt him. It could have paralleled Gaon’s reports on Yohan to the professor at the beginning of the drama. And that could have explained (aside from the whole love triangle dynamics they had) her reluctance to tell Gaon Yohan was the one who told her his whereabouts when he was in danger in ep. 13 ; this scene also was one of the only moments addressing the lack of communication in their relationship. Seeing her feeling confused over Yohan could have been interesting!

(This also got me wondering whether in the script, Yohan’s injury was ever addressed.)

Also, i’m curious about her family, if the script mentions something about them: did they know Gaon?

About the loveline between Gaon and Soohyun: while the friendship could have stayed as is (it already felt pretty genuine in my opinion and strong friendships also deserve to be portrayed in stories), i’m convinced this drama wanted to set Gaon as the center of a subtext love & morality triangle between Soohyun and Yohan (and K and Sunah on Yohan’s part). I think i would’ve appreciated Gaon and Soohyun’s loveline so much more if they developed it more! And it had to develop in the very same episode she died: apart from the confession and kiss scene (i’m curious about the scene’s description in the script), the flashback of their moments, seen from Gaon’s pov, came just right in to ‘explain’ it!

Of course it wasn’t the main focus of the story and there was already so much happening, but their new relationship development and her death almost had no impact on me even if it was set as a turning point for Gaon (and K for Yohan, as a cement to their respective decision to fight the system and how they would do it), and it made me really really sad! Of course it was a plot device (and i now wonder what would’ve happened if she or K wasn’t dead), but if it was bound to happen, the emotional impact was lessened!

Jinjoo’s character development and her relationship with Sunah happened really really fast, and i wonder how the script describes it!

Sunah’s involvement with the juvenile care center!!! Her scene at the hospital left me really sad.

(Also, on the love plot, Gaon and Yohan jealousy bits weren’t used later as an expression of their envy towards the other’s status/life/etc. and were actually directed to people outside ie. Sunah/K/Soohyun in the plot, which makes me think they really wanted to set it as a love triangle!)

ABOUT SUNAH’S DEATH. I feel really really conflicted on this point. Her story was a parallel to CKH (and of course Yohan, i’ll talk about it below): two women — coming from totally opposite backgrounds — climbing their way up by their own means in this power circle. And despite all their accomplishments unnoticed (because they were the ones seeing through their plans while the others were mainly seen tearing each other into pieces), they could still be ruthlessly ejected from this world any day, part of it because they were belittled as women all the same, and chose to end her life on her own accord, still having agency over it.

As someone else pointed it out, it also acts as a « poetic » retribution for her murder of Soohyun and K. BUT her exiting the scene in some other way staying alive could have contrasted with CKH’s suicide (especially since she overthrew the president who was the only one on her side getting in her way and even killed him in the end). Especially in a show that deals about how the justice can be carried out!

Of course, Yohan and Sunah were a foil to each other in their respective fights and traumatic past: the drama showed us how having someone to reach out to and protect (Elijah, Isaac and Gaon to Yohan ; Soohyun, Yohan and Elijah to Gaon) can become a driving force. Sunah, despite thinking this could be a weakness, also longed for companionship (from Yohan mainly, but also from Jaehee), and had no one to stop her crossing the line and preserve her from herself and the world. At least someone hearing her story, staying by her side and trying to understand her.

Each time she said ‘can you be a little nicer to me?’ to Yohan made me feel for her (and also that one call with Jaehee), it was the only cries of loneliness she silently let out!

On a totally random note, i would have loved to see her interact more with Gaon (especially by the end of ep. 15, when Yohan was arrested)!

The story gladly didn’t end Yohan’s traumatic past and growth in death, but what about Sunah? In any case, Sunah was a really good and complex character, i enjoyed her character!

What about Jaehee? How did she react to Sunah’s death???

What about CKH’s family after her death???

I would have loved to hear more about Sunah’s plans as well! Scenes where she would play with Gaon for example (in Yohan’s presence or not, like at the photoshoot)!

(This comment above foreshadowed, along with the dinner scene in ep. 11, she used him all along!)

Her involvement behind the scenes was only exposed in ep. 15 but i wanted to know more about her (motivations aside from her focus on Yohan, what did she plan to do before finding out a look-alike to Isaac, ...)! Given the elements in the plot, i get the idea she planned this whole business with the foundation first to reach the top and wanted to bring Yohan up with her (eg. leading the foundation or becoming the president) or down without her along the way, because she wanted his companionship. Maybe the script expands on it more? Did she really believe in the Dream Home project? Because as we saw her speech in the juvenile care center and her strong reaction to the youth being harmed in these schemes, i believe she kinda wanted to protect them as the best revenge on her past, because nobody could do it for her?

THE ENDING SCENE. The ending was pretty good and didn’t give us an all-out tragedy, so i’m really glad! I still can’t believe Gaon was ready to blow his life away once he learnt Yohan’s death AND wanted to die with him (falsely) realizing Yohan wouldn’t change his mind, dead set on his decision (no pun intended!). And Yohan’s reaction to this ............... Now, their last scene is left to the viewers’ interpretation, but it felt to me like a new beginning to Yohan and Gaon’s relationship! As it was already said by many people on tumblr, Yohan wasn’t sure if Gaon would still be by his side despite it all, and he didn’t expect Gaon to feel this way. They’ll definitely meet again, it’s a promise of more in the future (especially Yohan’s nod, on the verge of tears and Gaon’s two relieved/endeared smiles, full of forgiveness). Gaon will join his new world once he’s done or they’ll come back to him once Elijah’s recovered.

And this game of hide and seek/hunt reflected their relationship development: Yohan felt unattainable at first, but he chased after him in the maze that was his devilish game, symbolized by the crowd, chasing him motivated by his suspicion, curiosity, anger and hate, disbelief and disappointment, empathy, worry, affection, desperation and love, until he finally reached him and they understood each other among all the crowd, living metaphorically in the same time, facing each other on the same (ground) level.

(A scene in the first episode, Gaon seeing a maze of Yohan’s reflections, maybe symbolizing he could not see through his facade in the beginning, being an enigma to him at first sight ; the choice of the reflections in the mirrors through the drama is interesting and reflects the story: depending on the angles, a story can hold as many meanings as there are points of view, the complete image surfacing once everybody’s story is told)

(Just like how, in ep. 4, Yohan shows Gaon the wicked system right under their noses, Gaon’s enraged and confused gaze directed right at Yohan after they all block his view by clinking glasses ; Yohan hoped he would understand what lies beneath but Gaon understands it fully through his own past in ep. 7-8)

(The crowd is cleared from their/our view in the final scene, leaving the two of them facing each other without any obstacle/reflection on their path)

Gaon kept Yohan’s watch all the time even in moments of doubt, sorrow and rage (the best PPL in drama history so far haha), Yohan finally got to Gaon and entered his world as Soohyun did, reaching out when he needed it the most, to stop him doing something he would regret deeply. It was symbolized by the scar he got on his left hand from preventing Gaon from stabbing him (that’s also why he caresses his scar in a bittersweet way, lost in thoughts, reminding him of their last meeting).

As @i-guess-it-rains said + according to the BTS’ editing (it passed off as a joke but i can’t erase it from my brain now haha), the way the scene where Yohan defused Gaon’s bomb was framed looked at the same time like Yohan was also carefully handling Gaon’s heart (the bomb countdown clock radiating a red glow on his chest), on the verge of exploding. Now i have The Nights lyrics in my head haha (« My heart is going back to you, i just don’t know »)

On another note, i realized that in ep. 12, after Gaon left, he’s seen trying to call Soohyun in order to reach for her since their last confrontation, but right before, his finger glides over his contact, hesitating on Yohan’s contact before choosing to call Soohyun.

While in ep. 8, he only reaches out to Soohyun after his breakdown in the prison yard (without thinking to call Yohan because he was in the core of his doubts and pain at that time and needed space to reflect on all the events):

And it parallels to Sunah attempting to reach out to Jaehee in her loneliness at the top, hesitating before deciding to call her.

Now i hope TDJ will be on Netflix! It’d be very nice to get to watch the drama in high quality and have more people to see it!

I heard it got a webtoon adaptation so i also look forward to it once it will be translated!

A SECOND SEASON? When i first saw the ending, i thought it got wrapped up nicely and didn’t « need » another season, but it also left some parts open and laid out a new background for further developments (the system repeats itself but in another form, Yohan leaves the scene with his signature smile, maybe up to something else again, saying metaphorically or irl to Gaon he’ll come back if he doesn’t do well), kinda like Stranger/Forest of Secrets s1 or The Guest ending (the corruption doesn’t end there). I also heard it got high viewing rates in SK, so maybe it will be taken into account? And well, i’ll miss the cast so i would welcome the idea haha

THE SOUNDTRACK. The whole OST was stellar (and their titles are on point really!)! Getting to hear it without voices or noise over and with my headphones on made me realize it was even more beautiful! Because I Have You, Warmth That Melts Loneliness and If Only… are the end of me (especially If Only aaaaaaa)! Don’t get me started on Enemy of Truth’s title to the OST playing for the church fire because it’s devastating ;;;

If Only’s title … It leaves us filling in the blank space, the dots to Gaon’s thoughts when he learns about Yohan’s past and how it impacts him to this day.

The 4 songs were amazing (there’s also Different from the Outside but i still didn’t get its lyrics). Tempest was definitely etched in my mind as TDJ’s main theme haha And The Nights was my favorite!

➔ Tempest was Yohan’s iconic theme and depicted his lonely path to revenge after the tragic events in his life, and his (fated) encounter with Gaon, how deeply it will change him in this journey in ways he didn’t expect. It perfectly introduces (with Chet Faker and Flume’s Drop the game) and concludes the drama!

➔ What you gonna do was THE revenge epic song making everyone revel in the ‘bad guys’ despair and Yohan’s badass moves!

➔ The Nights felt like it was both Yohan and Gaon’s theme and Gaon’s sorrow after Soohyun’s death: at first i thought it was only Yohan’s, but his revenge and the last episodes proved me wrong! The song’s lyrics mirrored themselves (‘my/your night shines on you/me’), as if a complete understanding between Yohan and Gaon was found on their dark road. Yohan’s night shines on Gaon: Yohan’s broken past and all his misunderstood or hidden sides, his dedication to Elijah. Yohan’s rage (almost wrath since the biblical and god symbolism are there haha) and desire to take the inique system down waked Gaon’s own rage, buried deep inside, and made him move forward too. Gaon’s night shines on Yohan: all the time he spent with the Kangs, Gaon’s deep empathy and understanding, helping him reconnect with his niece, their dinners at night, his rage exploding when the truth about his parents was revealed, his desperation on the last two episodes (in ep. 15, seeing Gaon’s realization everything was a lie and Yohan was innocent, and in ep. 16, Gaon wanting to die by his side). Gaon’s night also shined on Soohyun, who wanted to protect him with all she got each time she saw him crumbling down.

There was still light on their dark road (which looks like a callback to Nightmare’s lyrics, « Save me from myself / Save me from this darkness that has lost its light »).

➔ Nightmare felt like it was Yohan and Sunah’s theme. When it last played when Sunah’s death happened on screen, it left me speechless (and if i remember correctly, the ‘save me from myself’ bit was played right when she shot herself … o u c h)!

#the devil judge #tvn drama #my ramblings

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jui-imouto-chan · 3 years

Note

Hi again! Ok so I think I get the Miya twins aging and de-aging thing but I’d be really interested to hear about it more! (Possibly as a continuation with his and Kita’s relationship as well? Kitahina is criminally underrated)

And does Daishou ever come into the story? The au is really good and I honestly would love to hear anything new about it.

Part 11

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Ily thank you for the ask 🥺💕🧡 I did not watch any of the OVA but I will ten billion percent put Daishou in bc Season 4 had him and I’ve kinda really liked him.

(Snake boi,,,, 😳😳 this one got too long to put him in but if I get another request I will write him. He is,,, 👌🏾✌🏾🥺😍)

Tumblr deleted half of what I wrote even though I saved it so yeayyyyy rewriting time 😌🥲

•

“They’re a lot older than they were before! Do foxes usually age this quick?”

Kita held his tongue, observing Hinata ruffle Atsumu’s hair and swipe his thumb along Osamu’s cheek. The twins seemed very content with the contact, although every now and again they’d pass a look along that seemed laced with meaning.

“You guys are adorable though! I hope Natsu still looks this cute when she’s your age!” Hinata’s eyes closed as he grinned at them.

Osamu tracked Hinata’s finger as his face was rubbed, and after thinking for a moment, he glanced at Atsumu and bit Hinata’s thumb.

Everything was still for moment, everyone staring intently at the place where Osamu’s teeth were buried into Hinata’s skin.

“O-Ow!!”

Kita grabbed Osamu by the scruff, opening his mouth to tear into him (in a different way than how he just tore into Hinata’s goddamn thumb), but before he could do so, or even apologize to the redhead, Osamu’s weight increased drastically, his limbs lengthening and proportions adjusting.

Atsumu’s eyes gleamed, taking advantage of the panic to bite Hinata’s other hand, growing to assume the same age as his brother.

“His energy sure is something, huh, ‘Samu!”

Osamu smartly did not respond, Kita’s glare piercing Atsumu the instant he finished speaking. Atsumu gulped audibly, a bit more of the blood seeping into his system and aging him until he was about Kita’s age in appearance.

“Atsumu, you should have found a way to understand by now that your actions have consequences.”

“K-K-Ki-Kita-san???” Atsumu scrambled back and away, bumping into Hinata’s knees, as the ginger had crouched to hold his own arm with tears in his eyes and his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. Hinata sniffled, Atsumu feeling a guilt like one would get from kicking a wounded puppy—which was not a good feeling to couple with the pure terror one gets from earning Kita’s ire.

“Osamu.”

Said twin froze and began sweating profusely. Despite the increase in size, Kita dangled him the way one would hold a particularly rowdy cat.

He desperately tried to minimize the shiver of his voice and be as formal and thereby responsible as he could, though even as he managed a, “Y-Yes?” he could feel his life start to come to an end.

“I don’t care about nor need your explanation—I know why you did this, but Hinata doesn’t. Explain to him clearly, and then apologize, before I cut out your tongues and take each of your teeth out one-by-one.”

Kita’s threats were rare, but very effective.

Once Kita released Osamu’s collar, the twins scooted close to one another on the ground, whispering back and forth with their skin significantly paler than it was before. Eventually, after some muttering and a very pointed glare from Kita, the two composed themselves, sitting on their heels. Osamu coughed, earning Hinata’s watery gaze and faltering slightly.

“Um. So. I’m Miya Osamu, that’s Atsumu.”

“Hinata Shoyo. Nice to meet you,” Hinata murmured, bowing his head, cheeks a bit puffed up. Kita approached him to place a hand on his head.

“We used to be guardians of a shrine nearby here, but it fell into ruin as people stopped coming by and taking care of it.” Atsumu began.

“People would only come by during celebrations. We’d perform during festivals, and we required everyone to be completely silent, or else the performance would be ruined. As we’d do our dances on opposite sides of the mountain where the shrines were, we’d be offering mana to the forest to keep it flourishing.”

“That’s so cool!” Hinata piped, although he quickly stifled his impressed exclamations as Kita pet his hair.

“Usually after the performance, we’d be low on mana, but we’d hide in the woods for a little bit until we were back to normal—”

“—But people got greedy. They knew we were already weaker without offerings being made to the shrine, and they were ready to take advantage of our decrease in mana.”

“Kita-san’s grandmother would give us offerings and come to every performance at the festivals. Kita-san joined her, of course, but one year, she brought along some girls in hopes to help him find a bride—”

“—even though he was like, twelve!”

Hinata gasped and looked up at the silverette, seemingly in awe. “Kita-san, you had game from a young age?!”

“I don’t know, do I have ‘game’ now?”

The redhead struggled to answer, especially with the amusement dancing in Kita’s eyes.

Atsumu cut in before Hinata could embarrass himself, “Those stupid girls decided to be annoying during my performance, and ended up distracting me. Usually with the dance, we can steadily feed the forest mana and influence how much leaves us. Since it was interrupted—”

“'Tsumu lost a lot of mana, and I had to try to compensate it. Kita-san’s grandma tried to help me, but 'Tsumu was grabbed by some adults before Kita-san could get to him. When they went into the forest, I got away from Kita-san’s grandma to find them.”

“They sealed most of our power, but Kita-san managed to interrupt the ritual before they could force us into a contract. Kita-san was so angry, it was like watching the beast from Naruto.”

“Oh, the Nine-Tails!” Osamu corrected.

“Didn’t it have a name? Kuroomi or something??”

“Ah, Kurama!” Hinata blurted.

“Yeah, that!” The twins affirmed, snapping and pointing—or were those finger guns?

“He totally looked like Kurama when he was beating the shit out of those dudes!”

“I think he only turned back when his grandma started calling for him.”

“So, let me get this straight—”

Osamu coughed, “—Good luck with that—”

“—Kita-san can turn into a super gigantic awesome fox monster and you two keep getting younger? Except for when you get mana?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Hinata practically had stars in his eyes.

“We know it’s selfish to ask this of you after we, uh, bit you...”

“But, Shoyo-kun....”

The twins bowed, foreheads touching the floor. “Please form a contract with us.”

“...Eh?”

•

•• Part 11 of (?) ••

• A lot of this is influenced by Natsume Yuujinchou to some extent and I am not sorry. Also ykno how I reblogged Kindaichi with his hair down? I did so while looking for some KinHina, and now I’m a little tempted to write smthn. Or maybe KuniHina. Or literally anyone with Hinata because when I say hinata harem I mean Hinata HAREM. •

•• Send Asks for more! Feel free to ask about characters and send Headcanons! Or if u wanna just talk Haikyuu/ships, I’m good with that too! :) and for other parts, search the “summoner au” tag on my blog and you’ll find em! ••

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pixie-dust-and-pain · 3 years

Text

Anarchy

It wasn’t supposed to go this far, it was only meant to be a harmless game. An interest intended only to keep her satisfied until she latched onto the next new thing, but he’d crossed the line. Now, she was willing to do whatever it took to bring him to his knees before her. Now, she was going to topple him down from his throne, and throw down his sparkling crown of glass, and show him that glass was made to shatter. She was going to wreck his carefully crafted tyrannical system, pull it apart brick by brick, and leave both it and him vulnerable to the core. She was going to prove to everybody that had placed even an ounce of trust in him that they should’ve condemned him all along. She didn’t care if she wasn’t queen, but she wasn’t going to let him succeed in being the king. She was going to declare anarchy.

Warnings: slight sexual innuendo

I wrote this during class

(I haven't used Tumblr that much yet so I'm not aware of the layout of general fanfics, so please do enlighten me)

Chapter 2

She closed her eyes, absentmindedly tapping the wooden desk with her fingertips as she waited for Slughron to move onto her table. He was currently chiding Olive Hornby for not cutting her leaves the right size and having chopped them too big. She rolled her eyes, annoyance prickling at her as she frowned in his direction. The old coot had already wasted half the class praising Tom Riddle. Surely, he could cut short his ravings and move on now.

Finally, he moved onto her desk, and peering at her result, he arched a brow. He seemed confused for a second, before a satisfied grin made its way onto his lips. “You are a natural, my dear. The ingredients were rather simple and watered down, I didn’t think that a student of your age could’ve made such an advanced potion. I must say, I hadn’t expected this much, but well done…” he trailed off, probably indulging himself in fantasies of how having two top-students from his house would be a bonus.

She smiled politely at Slughorn, a satisfied feeling pooling in her. The moment he left, however, her eyes drifted to Tom Riddle, and she smiled at him in cruel content. He glanced at her, a bored expression occupying his face, and turned back to his book. It wasn’t much, but she didn’t care. She’d gotten his attention, at least.

She didn’t know why she was doing this. Truly, it was a lot less productive than her other occasional indulgences. But he’d been Hogwarts’ best student for far too long, and she was getting tired of having his praises sung every time she entered a room. She’d been surprised at the amount of self-control she had, especially since she had managed not to slap a person every time they spoke his accomplishments and prided herself for her restrain.

She wasn’t one to engage in academic excellence. For what she had planned, wasting her time on good grades, paying attention in classes that teach her about topics she already knows, and obtaining useless knowledge was unnecessary, but she had to admit, it did feel good to be the top of the class, even if it was just once.

Her eyes wander to Riddle again, and this time, she stares. She wouldn’t lie to herself by admitting that he wasn’t conventionally attractive, he had, after all, made her blush a time or two, but he was just so perfect it was odd. Surely, nobody could be that flawless. And so, she’d dug, scraped together pieces of information, observed him through the shadows, noted how his “friends” seemed to cower before him, and how they used to turn pale after an accident or even a lousy slip of tongue.

It had been easy for her to do so. She was a nobody in the castle, insignificant, and weak. She wasn’t exactly “under the radar”, but she wasn’t the sort to be suspected. She was sweet and innocent and weak, and an overall shame to Slytherin. She didn’t care much of it, her reputation, the bullying it caused, it was all a trivial matter. They were small consequences as opposed to the advantages she’d gained. Sweet and gentle girl she was, how could she ever cause anybody any harm? And thus, she’d been granted access to the restricted section, occasional visits to the forbidden forest (with a professor, naturally) and an immediate exclusion to suspicion every time something went wrong.

She’d worked hard to build up her image as the harmless little damsel in distress, and the teasing and exclusion from the general Slytherin body was a small price to pay. It wasn’t that they didn’t like her (they adored her, actually) but that Hogwarts ran on a hierarchal system, and the rulers of the system seemed to have it in for her and her so-called “disgrace” to the Slytherin house, and so everybody who seemed to be more than a mere acquaintance to her was immediately shunned. She supposed it had something to do with her open acceptance of muggleborns, but she couldn’t seem to bring herself to care.

She steals a glance at him again, and he wasn’t even looking in her direction, far too immersed in his book to care. Or, at least, that was how he made it out to be. She knew he cared; it would be ridiculous if he didn’t. She smiled to herself, basking in the knowledge that she’d gotten his attention.

But she’d done so much more than just that, hadn’t she? She couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. She’d upstaged him.

~*~

“Ellison,” a smooth voice says, pulling her out of her trance. She snaps the book shut hastily, casting a non-verbal spell to change its name and prays that he doesn’t notice.

“Hi?” She offers, smiling awkwardly. She hadn’t thought this far, really. She’d just expected to be confronted by one of his cronies or to have him send her annoyed glares now and then. Total confrontation? Well, that was a bold step.

“May I join you?” He asks, gesturing to the empty seats next to her. She nodded, still keeping the awkward smile on. He should’ve realized by now it was a desperate cry for help.

It was an awkward silence after that, interrupted by only the occasional turning of page. It’s odd, and she pauses, paying the utmost attention to the boy next to her. He doesn't seem to realize that she has stopped, and if he does, he makes no move to acknowledge it. It's quiet, and she realizes that she's the only one who's been turning her page all this time. "Are you alright?" she finally asks, raising a brow at him.

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Well, you haven't turned your page once since you've gotten here, and seem to be having trouble with-" she peers over, and raises a brow, “-the acknowledgements,”

"And you've paid all that precious attention to me instead of focusing our on your," he pauses and squints at the title, "Kamasutra,"

She doesn't have the shame to blush, and only silently curses herself for not paying more attention to what she’d renamed the book as, "Look, Tim-"

"Tom," he sharply corrects.

"Whatever, I don't want any trouble. And it wasn't me who asked to sit next to you, now was it?” And honestly you just sitting there like a statue is creepy,”

“How did you do it?” he asks finally, leaning back into the chair and studying her. She has to admit, his undivided attention feels nice.

“Do what?” beat you in potions? Then defense against the dark arts? She doesn’t voice her thoughts out loud, and gets up and shoves her items hastily into her bag.

“Make the potion,” he says. It’s a clever dodge.

She smiles wryly at him, “I’m not that much of a dunce, Riddle,”

“Well, you haven’t exactly made your abilities clear before, have you? How the sudden change?”

“I’m late for class-”

“It’s lunch,”

“Even worse, then.” She tries to leave, but he grabs her wrist. His grip is painful, and she wonders how dire the consequences would be if she twists his hand.

“I don’t take well to being ignored, Ellison,” he says, his grip bruising and his eyes glinting. She doesn’t feel scared, then, only more aware. It was a dangerous game she was playing, and Tom Riddle could, if he wanted, hurt her. It was an intoxicating feeling, knowing that what she was doing had the potential to be life-threatening if she wanted it to. She hasn’t had the sweet taste of danger in so long, it feels freeing to acknowledge it again.

She smiles demurely, the picture of submission, and twists his wrist in reply as she wrestles her hand out of his. The only sign of him being pained by the even tis his sharp intake of breath.

It’s like gambling, this strange interest of hers. It has obvious consequences, but it’s just so entertaining. She walks out of the library, glancing only momentarily at the spot he’d grabbed her. She can see his fingerprints, a bruising shape on her wrist, clearly visible. This was going to be fun.

#tom riddle #fanfic #my writing #lord voldemord #harry potter #Tom riddle is hot #Mc is kinda manipulative #writers on tumblr #tom marvolo riddle #zaddy #riddle #timmy boy

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dearest-bucky · 4 years

Text

One kiss is all it takes (One Shot)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Requested by @softcobain - Where reader who’s Bucky’s best friend ask him to teach her how to kiss bc she really wants to impress a guy she’s going on a date with? But Bucky is totally in love with her, at first he doesn’t want to but then he agrees.

Words: 3.8K

Warnings: angst, fluff, one first detailed kissing scene lol

A/n: Because tumblr is apparently dumb I can’t tag the sweetheart that requested this, but @softcobain I really hope you like this love! 💕 Guys I got goosebumps while writing this, I hope y’all like it too.

Feedback is greatly appreciated! xx

The door of her small apartment made a small squeaky noise as she pushed it open. She wasn’t all that surprised to find it open, her key once again useless. The only noises in the otherwise quiet apartment were coming from the TV that was left on, some detergent commercial playing in one random channel. She turned on the small lamp next to the couch that she usually used to read at night, and smiled as the figure that was sleeping on her small and uncomfortable couch was illuminated by the soft light.

She crouched down next to him and softly touched his hair, making him stir in his sleep. “Hey sleepyhead, what are you still doing here?”

He opened one eye and when he was met with her face, a small smile crept onto his lips. “Hey, you’re back. Thought I’d wait up for you but apparently I failed at that too.”

She chuckled at his words and patted his cheek lightly. “Don’t worry about it. I’m here now.”

Bucky offered her a shy smile and got up in a sitting position, making space for her to sit on the couch too. “So, how was it?” He asked after she sat next to him.

She remained silent for a moment, as if she was thinking hard about the answer, but there was a smile plastered on her lips and a dreamy look on her eyes that kind of told Bucky everything he wanted to know. The answer, despite it not being said, was shown, written in her every feature. She finally turned her head on the side to face him, and then replied. “It was great. He asked me out again on Friday.” Her smile never faltered, but as she looked at Bucky’s reaction her eyes narrowed a little in curiosity.

He nodded at her words and fixed his stare down, unable to look her in the eye anymore. He cleared his throat once and then without even looking at her again, got up from the couch. “That’s great, if you’re happy then I’m happy too. It’s better if I go back to my apartment now. Good night Y/n.” He didn’t even spare her another glance and left her apartment in a hurry, not even allowing her the time to wish him good night too. He slammed the door closed behind himself harder than he intended to and that made him wince, but he wasn’t about to go back and apologize for that.

With short but quick steps he arrived at his door on the other side of the hall and when he entered his apartment, without even realizing, he slammed his door shut too. He knew he had no right to be mad at her for going out on a date with somebody else, but he simply couldn’t talk his broken heart down. He’d been head over heels with Y/n for years and now having to see her date someone that wasn’t him, it was damn painful.

How could he even begin to explain what he felt for Y/n? Truth is he didn’t even remember how it all started.

After the Avengers defeated Thanos and Steve went to the past to get his second chance in life, Bucky chose to not stay with the rest of the Avengers at the new Avengers’ compound. Instead, with the help of Sam he bought a small apartment in Brooklyn where he’d been living for the last four years.

Y/n moved in her apartment on the other side of the hall only a couple of months after Bucky. When she was moving her furniture in, Sam, just like the perfect wing man he is, managed to introduce Bucky and Y/n, claiming they’d be neighbors so they needed to know each other if one of them ever ran out of sugar or flour. Bucky had scowled at Sam in annoyance but Y/n had only giggled at the new Captain America’s words and shook Bucky’s hand. “He’s right.” She had told him. “You’ll never know when one could need the help of a superhero.”

He had blushed then, at her words, and a smile had replaced the previous scowl.

That day they had both helped her move in, carrying the heavy boxes and the furniture. After everything had been put inside her new apartment, Sam and Bucky excused themselves and wished her a good night, seeing it was dark outside already. She had thanked them both for their help and when they were on the hall, she called out to Bucky. “Don’t be a stranger.”

He had smiled at her and nodded his head.

Ever since that day they’d spend many more days together, hanging out at each other’s apartments, but mostly at Y/n’s because she, as Bucky put it, had the better couch, despite the fact that it was smaller than his, but he enjoyed sitting close to her and watching movies and eating chinese takeout almost every night. Eventually those nights became an every night occurrence, and without even realizing, Y/n and Bucky had become best friends, helping each other with everything, relying to each other, taking care of each other whenever one was sick, mostly Y/n. She even managed to help him calm down after a nightmare when he had knocked on her door at 3 am sweating and crying in pain.

In the last four years they had become almost family to each other.

Despite her very friendly nature, Y/n was actually very shy when it came to romantic relations. So whatever feeling Bucky started developing for his neighbor/best friend, he buried deep inside his heart, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. Because he knew there was no way someone as perfect as her would even like back someone like him.

Now he had to stand by and watch someone else take her out on dates and make her happy, when that could’ve been him.

With a heavy heart Bucky laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, a long sigh escaping his parted lips.

Bucky didn’t see Y/n the entire upcoming week. She was busy with her work and he spent most of the days at the compound, training for the next mission.

Days had been passing slowly and he missed her so much every passing minute, especially on the evenings when they’d be almost cuddled up next to each other on her couch and binge watching whatever Netflix series was on his “to-watch-list”. He wanted to knock on her door but he couldn’t find it in himself to do so. After all she had started seeing someone now so he didn’t know if she still wanted him to go over.

It was almost 6 pm on a Saturday when he heard the hesitant knocks on the wood of his door and he moved lazily through his apartment to answer it. He was surprised to find Y/n on the other side of it.

She was wearing a nice dress, perfect for the warm weather of May evening and even more perfect for her. She looked absolutely breathtaking, but the almost panicked expression written all over her face made him break out of his stupor sooner than he would’ve wanted.

“Hey, Y/n. What’s up?” He spoke a little awkwardly, not knowing how to act around her anymore. It seemed as if it had been an eternity since the last time he saw her. Usually when she came over, she never knocked and she would always greet Bucky with a hug or a kiss on the cheek, but that seemed like a long time ago, and somewhat an inappropriate thing to do now.

She greeted him with a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes and asked him if she could come in.

“Uhmm, yeah yeah, sure.” He said, a little confused, but moved on the side to let her inside his apartment and closed the door again.

He saw her move towards the living room, but she never sat down, standing awkwardly in the middle of the small space between the couch and his coffee table.

“Is everything alright Y/n?” He asked then, unable to bare the silence anymore.

She picked her head up and looked at him, a look Bucky couldn’t quite understand. “I need your help.” She finally spoke. Her voice was unsure, even a little shy when she spoke, but he heard her loud and clear.

“Sure, doll. What can I do for you?” Always the hero. Always trying to help. Always helping.

She remained silent for a moment, as if wanting to organize her thoughts well and then she finally started speaking again. “So you know I’ve been talking to this guy for the past month..” she began and Bucky noticed how she was picking up at the skin of her fingernails, a tick of nervousness he knew she had. He moved closer to her and placed his hands on hers, stopping her assault on the fragile skin that had started to bleed a little already.

“What about him? Is everything okay? Is he bothering you? Do I need to kick his ass?” His mind was running a million miles per minute, thinking of the worst case scenarios, but she only shook her head lightly in response.

“Everything is okay with him. He’s great. It’s just…” She hesitated a little before she continued again. “Last night we went out and at the end of the date he walked me home and when he was saying goodnight he leaned in and wanted to kiss me and I turned away so he ended up kissing me on the cheek.” She explained, blushing a little and Bucky was listening to her every word intently.

“Tonight we’re going out again, to the movies this time and this is the third date and I’m thinking we should kiss, right? But I don’t know.” She concluded and let go of his hands that were holding hers, moving to the couch and finally sitting.

Bucky followed her lead and sat too. “You don’t know what?” He asked. If she were unsure about this guy she shouldn’t feel obligated to kiss him. She didn’t owe him anything. She should know that.

But Y/n surprised him with the next words she spoke. “I don’t know how to kiss.” She said and a crimson red painted her cheeks after the words had left her mouth.

Bucky could only stare at her, a little shocked at the confession and that only made her feel more embarrassed than before. “Forget it, this was a stupid idea.” She said when he took a moment too long to reply and she tried to get up from the couch, but Bucky finally came to his senses.

“No, please doll.” He spoke softly and she sat down again. “I’m sorry.” He continued. “You took me by surprise, that’s all. I mean, how is it possible that you don’t.. you know.. know? How to kiss?”

The entire situation was embarrassing and awkward and they both were wishing the ground would open and swallow them whole.

Y/n felt her cheeks aflame by the embarrassment she was feeling. She knew it was a crazy idea to come to Bucky about this, but he was her only friend.

Despite the fact that she was 26 years old she was an introvert and she didn’t have many friends. Except for Bucky who was her best friend, she had another childhood friend back in her hometown but she was too far to come and help Y/n with her situation.

Her entire life she had avoided people as much as possible, especially boys and men. She never had a boyfriend in her life and she never even kissed a boy before. That’s why she was in Bucky’s apartment now, asking him for help.

“I just..” she stuttered a reply. “Never kissed someone, so I don’t know how..” Her words were spoken in an almost hushed whisper, still mortified from the situation at hand.

“Okay, so you need me to…?”

“To teach me how to kiss.” She said matter of factly but she regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. They had sounded better in her head than they did when she said them out loud, but there was no way she could take them back now.

Bucky’s eyes widened at her request but he composed himself quickly. He was a highly trained assassin for God’s sake, he knew how to mask his emotions, but apparently not around Y/n. “I can’t do that!” He finally exclaimed and he watched her face fall after those words. “I mean, it’s not fair to you.” He was quick to add and Y/n looked back up at him. “It’s your first kiss and it should be with someone you have feelings for. Not with me.”

“But Bucky…” A sound of protest left her lips. Those rosy and pillowy lips that he had wished so many times to kiss and that were now asking him to do so. “I’m going to be so embarrassed when he tries to kiss me again and I just stay there. It will be terrible if I just froze in the spot, you know.” She was trying to reason with him as much as she could. “Please? I kind of like this guy and I don’t wanna look stupid in front of him.”

“Doll. You could never look stupid.” He replied, still not saying anything about her request.

He wanted to give in and kiss her so much, but he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop once he started. His heart and his mind were in war at the moment.

“Please Buck?” She tried again. “You know I wouldn’t ask this of you if it wasn’t really important to me.” She pleaded and Bucky knew who won the battle inside of him. How could he refuse those lips that he had dreamed of for several years now? How could he refuse her pretty eyes, giving her that sad puppy dog look he absolutely adored? He simply couldn’t. That’s why he found himself slowly nodding his head in response.

“Okay, okay doll. I’ll help.” He said and she nodded back to him, a small smile forming on her lips. “Just one kiss to show you how it’s done.”

“Okay.” She replied and he let out a long breath at the sight of her looking so hopeful now, and beautiful, always.

They turned their bodies to face each other and Bucky cupped her cheek with his flesh hand. Ever so slowly he started closing the distance between their faces, until their noses were almost touching.

Y/n had closed her eyes and was waiting for him to place his lips on hers, but she could only feel his soft breath tickling her lips, but not touching them.

“Relax, doll.” She heard him say and her shoulders sagged a little, finally free from the tension she’d been holding in. “Just go with it and let it happen.”

She was ready to say something when she finally felt his lips touch hers, so softly she thought she must be dreaming it. With the same softness he started kissing her lips, slowly, gently, just like a breeze touching the leaves on the trees. He slowly coaxed her lips to part and she quickly complied, allowing him to deepen the kiss a little, feeling the kiss a little more. He was caressing her lips with his, happy to finally be able to do so, his flesh hand holding her cheek while the metal one moved to her hair, carding through her silky locks.

Too soon for his liking she ended the kiss, but she didn’t back away from him. Her eyes were hooded and her lips still parted when she whispered his name. “Buck..”

It was all he needed to delve in again for another kiss, this one more passionate. He couldn’t hold back anymore, coaxing her mouth open with his tongue, kissing her lips with a passion that was about to burn him entirely. He had been holding back for too long.

The hand in her hair gripped the locks tightly in between the fingers and he felt her let out a small moan against his mouth at the action, which only spurred him to kiss her more. Tongues hugging each other and teeth clashing with each other, biting and kissing and licking lips, starved for each other.

Her hands had found home in his shirt, bunching the material in her fists as she reciprocated his kiss with everything she had.

They had been so lost in each other, not even considering about stopping, until the phone in her pocket ringed and she whined lowly in Bucky’s mouth in annoyance.

“Forget about it.” He spoke between kisses but the device continued ringing until they were forced to part away from each other. Y/n had an apologetic look in her eyes as she fished the phone out of her pocket and she visibly winced when he saw the name on the screen.

She waited a moment until she fixed her breath before answering. “Hi, Andrew.” She spoke, not looking at Bucky anymore. “Yes, I’m ready. I’ll be down in 5 minutes. Okay.” She hung up the phone and finally looked at Bucky again.

He had an unreadable expression in his face while he was still trying to catch his breath from the mind-blowing kiss they just shared.

“I’m sorry. My date is here, I have to go.” Y/n said and waited for Bucky to say something, anything, but he just nodded his head and got up first from the couch, moving to the front door and opening it for her.

She got up too and walked out of the apartment, unable to say another word to him. When she finally reached the door of her own apartment and was entering it, Bucky finally decided to break the silence.

“You’re a quick learner Y/n. Kiss him like that and he’ll be yours forever.” She wanted to laugh at his words, but she just turned her head back and smiled sadly at him.

“Thanks Buck.” She said before he closed the door and entered his apartment again.

This is it, he thought as he sat back on his couch. The same couch where less than 5 minutes ago he was kissing the woman he loved. He should’ve stopped her. He should’ve said something. Asked her not to go on that stupid date with stupid Andrew. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Because he was a coward.

Besides, if Y/n felt something for him, after that kiss she sure would’ve said something too. But she didn’t. She just got up and left to go on her date with another man, leaving Bucky behind with swollen lips and a broken heart.

It was less than three hours later that she finally came back. Bucky heard the keys jingle out in the hall and he knew she was back. She was probably coming back home with her date, he thought, but he was shocked to see her open his door and enter his apartment instead.

She seemed hesitant as she walked inside his place, finding Bucky slouched on the couch, a half finished bottle of whiskey in his hand.

“Bucky?” She called his name cautiously and he picked up his head to look at her. The same dress from before, except this time she was wearing a denim jacket over it too. He stared at her for a while, simply admiring her beauty, cursing himself for not being enough for her.

“Are you drunk?” The question left her lips without thinking. She knew he couldn’t get drunk, but when she saw him like that it was the first thing that came to mind.

“You know I can’t get drunk doll.” His reply was court and composed. “How did it go? Where’s your date?” He then asked her, despite the fact that he had no interest in knowing the answer to either of those questions.

She moved to sit on the couch next to him, the same spot he had stolen her breath away with one kiss a couple of hours ago, and she couldn’t think of nothing else except for that kiss. “It was okay.” She spoke mechanically, staring at his face. In her mind she was still kissing him.

“Did you kiss him?” Another question he didn’t want to know the answer of but he couldn’t help but ask it. Her only reply was a nod, but it was enough for Bucky to understand what she meant.

He slouched his head, dejected, broken, not wanting to be near her anymore. He had lost her.

“Yes, I kissed him.” She spoke a second later and Bucky wanted to tell her he understood that from her nod. “But I realized his weren’t the lips I wanted to kiss me, the lips I wanted to kiss.” She added a little breathlessly.

Bucky fixed his eyes on her, this time waiting with curiosity for her to continue. That she did. “I never wanted to go to that date after the most amazing kiss of my life, but I didn’t want to be rude to Andrew, so I thought I’d give him a chance, because he was a really nice guy.” She let out a small breath before she continued to speak again, Bucky patiently and curiously listening to her. “The entire time we were out I was still thinking about a certain set of lips that managed to set me on fire. And I thought to myself, it’s just because it was my first kiss. I’m sure if I kiss Andrew it will be even better, because I like Andrew. So I kissed him, but there was nothing. I was still searching for a different kiss in him. I was still asking to feel another man’s lips on mine.”

The bottle of alcohol he’d been holding in his hands, he placed it carefully on the coffee table before turning his body to the side to fully face her. “Doll, what are you saying?”

She let out a small sigh before answering, looking him dead in the eye. “I’m saying I don’t want to kiss anyone else beside you.” She confessed and it seemed that the world came to a stop.

He moved to get closer to her, this time both of his hands cupping her cheeks, inching their faces so close to each other once again. “Are you sure?” There was a slight tremble in his voice when he asked the question, but there was none in hers as she answered “Absolutely.” before locking her lips to his and kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

Their mouths continued the exploration and their hands found homes in each other’s bodies.

Bucky was so happy he could die. He kept kissing her like his life depended on it and between kisses he managed to speak. “Good, because I’m planning to kiss you for the rest of my life.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagines

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random-mha-thoughts · 4 years

Text

Clingy (Alternate Ver.) (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: A soft, clingy Todoroki just wants your love and attention.

Word count: 1,382

Tags: @yuki-osaki @cyanide9602 @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog @bunnythepipsqueak

a/n: Basically a more fluffy redo of Clingy, this is more the mood for how I wanted it to turn out, but the former one came out a bit spicy, so here’s the fluffy version this almost went spicy again because Love Talk was playing fignoigboig had to switch it REAL QUICK

I’m also really quickly approaching my 100th post and idk what to do about it?? And I still need to do an event for 2k (well, I can push it off to 2.5k since that’s coming soon too...) ahhh I can’t Tumblr 😔

There's nothing more adorable than a clingy, needy Todoroki, I've come to realize.

A sweet start to my morning was Todoroki's head leaning against the door frame, the most affectionately soft smile gracing his handsome features. He was holding a paper bag in his hands, which he held out to me as soon as I opened the door. "Good morning, love. I brought you breakfast."

I took the bag from him, peaking inside only to see my favorite breakfast sandwich from the convenience store awaiting me. "Wait, you woke up earlier just to get me breakfast?"

"Mhm, just for you." Unbothered by me about to protest, he kissed my forehead to cut me short. "I thought it would make you happy since you're not a morning person."

As I ate my sandwich on our short walk from the dorms to the academic building, his arm remained planted around me, anchored right around my waist. Normally, he isn't the type to show excessive public displays of affection, but I didn't mind it. For his troubles, I wordlessly offered a bite of my sandwich to him, to which he graciously accepted before pressing a chaste kiss to my cheek in thanks.

He's in an awfully good mood today, I thought to myself. I could get used to this side of him. I placed my hand on his around me and snuggled against him.

Once we reached the classroom, he followed me straight to my desk, pulling the chair next to me just to continue nuzzling me, almost falling asleep while playing with my hands in his. Even as Kaminari teased him from across the room for being whipped, he ignored the boy and laid another feathery kiss over my knuckles.

"There's nothing wrong with being whipped when you just want to shower love on your darling," he mumbled cheekily just for us to hear.

"But there's such a thing as too much public affection, Todo." I stroked his cheek. "Besides, Aizawa's gonna be here soon, and you've displaced Mina for long enough."

"I'm totally fine with that!" The pink-haired girl called from across the room with Asui and Hagakure. "You guys have as much time together as you want~!"

"Seems I have her blessing," my boyfriend replied with a teasing smile, his face inching towards mine.

My heart skipped a beat. "We can do this later when we're alone." I reached my hand up to block his oncoming love-attack. Now, this level of affection was turning strange.

His puckered lips turned deflated into a small - albeit, adorable - pout. "Fine." But something tells me he's not going to be satisfied wait that long.

At that moment, Aizawa walked in and Todoroki returned to his seat, but not before sneaking another quick peck on top of my head, his warm touch lingering on me for as long as he could before finally being out of distance. I didn't even have to turn to see Ashido smirking at me, my cheeks and ears heating up at the embarrassment that everyone must have seen. Aizawa's tired gaze even flickered between us, causing me to bury my head in my book.

During break, Todoroki's intense appetite for skinship and affection wasn't quelled. I felt his eyes boring into the back of my head for the entirety of class, and I know he wasn't going to give up at all. He was keen on getting what he wanted in any way he can.

Before going to lunch, I had stopped to talk with Ashido and Kirishima outside the classroom. Todoroki had silently slid himself behind me, patiently waiting for us to finish our conversation so we can have lunch together as per our usual routine. Slowly, he started migrating closer and closer to my body, wrapping one arm around me first.

"Can we go now?" he whispered in my ear. "I'm hungry."

"You don't have to wait for me, go with Midoriya for now," I replied.

He breathed out an annoyed sigh, the cool air tickling the side of my neck. "You aren't talking about anything special. Besides, I'm still waiting for that kiss you promised me."

My face immediately turned hot again despite keeping my expression as neutral as it was before.

"Uh, Y/n, you okay there?" Kirishima perked up once he sensed my discomfort.

"Y-Yeah, totally fine-"

"Todoroki must be needing something," Ashido giggled, obviously knowing what was going on. "You can worry about the tutoring stuff some other time, we can work out the schedule details some other time."

"No, it's fine we can work it out now!" I spoke a little too quickly to be natural, since my boyfriend fully captured me, his colder arm joining the other, and rested his head squarely on my shoulder.

"You seem to have a more pressing matter," Kiri chuckled.

“Just kiss me already,” Todoroki whispered in my ear. “Please? I've been waiting patiently."

My body shivered at his bold request. He must be that desperate. “Fine, I’ll talk to you guys later, I need to take care of this.”

At my surrender, Todoroki towed my body backwards, away from the cafeteria back into our classroom.

Mina whistled shamelessly, “Yeah, we know, go take care of your man!”

Ahh, it's not like that! I wanted to scream, but my impatient boyfriend kicked the door closed.

I turned around to stare at him head on. "You are super needy today." I only had the heart to be half serious, ending up chuckling halfway through.

Todoroki was pleased with himself, puckering his lips as he gently cradles my head in his palms, anticipating his long-awaited reward. How can I say no to that?

I closed the distance with a quick, tender kiss, but as soon as we parted for a moment, he pulls me back in, stealing my lips in more gentle caresses. His gentle but powerful love obvious in his kisses, never ceasing to move my heart and body towards him.

I smiled against his lips, entwining my fingers in his hand cupping my cheek. "You were really yearning for that kiss, weren't you?"

“I wanted to be alone with you even before that.” His breathtaking smile played on his lips again before he moved towards his desk, tugging me by our entwined hands. "I wanted to have lunch together, just us." He pulled out two sets of bento lunches. "My mom instructed me how to make bento went I visited her over the weekend."

I pulled the chair in front of his place towards his desk so I could sit across from him. "Really? I can't wait to try it."

"It's not much, but I wanted to make you lunch since you're my special person." He pecked my nose and set one wrapped bento on my side.

"You're always spoiling me, getting me breakfast and now this?" I untied the knot on the furoshiki and lifted the lid on the box. "Todoroki!" I cooed. Two small onigiri with seaweed smiley faces stared back up at me on one side of the box. The other side had a tamagoyaki arranged in the shape of a heart wrapped in lettuce, some cherry tomatoes, and marinated pieces of meat wrapped in another lettuce leaf. "This is so cute!"

He chuckled at me. "Well, my mother did say to eat first with your eyes before your mouth."

Taste I did, and everything was delicious. My stomach was happy with how spoiled I was. Our lunch was spent feeding each other while I admired my boyfriend's chewing faces. Something about his cheeks being satisfyingly full filled my own heart with tenderness. "You must've been anxious waiting for lunch the entire morning."

He wiped the corner of my mouth with his thumb. "I woke up extra early, a little early actually, so I had time to pick up breakfast as well. Did you enjoy it?"

I patted my belly. "I'm always happy with food, but it's especially good when it's made by you, Todo." I leaned forward in my seat. "I'd like to give my compliments to the chef."

His mismatched eyes danced in glee, eagerly waiting for his payment. I pressed a kiss to both his cheeks and one on his nose. "For my precious boy."

"I'll be sure to do this more often if my reward is kisses." He continued finishing his last few bites with his soft, accomplished smile.

If this is what a clingy Todoroki has in store for me, then I would gladly put up with his needy behavior for these treasured moments.

#todoroki x reader #todoroki fluff #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #todoroki shouto #todoroki imagine #todoroki scenario #gender neutral reader #mha todoroki #bnha todoroki #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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