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astonmartingf · 29 days

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FALLING FOR YOU ; MV1

max verstappen x reader

. . . in his own little way, max finds the solutions to his problems not without a little help from his friends and ends up giving you the confession of a lifetime

amgf yeah... there's this, just fluff. i won't be as active this week because of exams and research but this is prime time of my impulsive ideas so either i can milk this opportunity to write every single day, or avoid this app for the remainder of the week. enjoy 👍

Max strives for stability.

He enjoys the same routine that consists of jogging at eight am, early morning workout by nine am, brunch, a few rounds of sim racing, stopping by for a few phone calls and online meetings. If he isn’t expected to fly anywhere else he’d have his usual afternoon snack, play with his cats, more sim racing from six to eight pm, dinner with his team, reviewing data and notes, an hour for his own leisure— mostly sim racing, before heading to bed at one am.

Whatever happens in between is usually one of Lando’s plans in an attempt to spice things up in his life. Whether it’s going to the movies, buying ice cream at the convenience store down the street, or playing padel. Max is very much thankful for his friends.

Max also strives for the best.

He takes pride in his skills in racing and acknowledges his talent, and flaws. Honing them like a sharp knife through whetstones, he polishes himself and cuts through the defenses of the grid. He is a World Champion for a reason, and with a great car and team behind him, he knows they’ll get far. Max is very much thankful for the trust his team set upon him.

Max hates uncertainty.

Well- hate is too strong of a word and dislike would be too weak for his opinions.

Max despises uncertainty.

Especially when there’s you- the current root of all his “problems”. Despite his tendency to be blunt and straightforward statements, uncertainty always left a distasteful feeling in his mouth.

Realizing that his wavering feelings for you have now shattered the routine he built to perfection. Long gone are sleeping on time and hello to staying up with you crowding his thoughts. Head full of the lingering scent of your perfume and the same voice playing in his head.

Max hated it. He despised how you orbit around his mind, bouncing through the walls of the gray matter inside his skull. He often catches himself smiling at the thought of you- before a bitter scowl fills his face and an incredulous and slightly constipated look pasted on his face.

But that was the least of his worries, such feelings could be fixed (a term he used to convince himself these are temporary). It’s not that Max doesn’t believe in relationships or think it’s nothing but a distraction, deep inside he’s aware that he craves affection. It’s the vague emotions clouding his heart making him think twice.

Then again, Max is thankful for his friends.

“What did you say?” Lando squinted his eyes in the hopes to hear his words clearly. With a blank look- almost as if he put on a mask void of emotions Max spoke once more.

“Do I like YN?”

The rest tilted their head to the side, in confusion. “D-did you perhaps ask us. . . if- if you like someone?” George, asked once more to make sure of his words, sighing in disbelief.

“It’s not just someone, it’s YN.” Max pushed the question once more and glanced at everyone on the table.

The silence was deafening. Max’ statement was too loud and too quiet at the same time, no one spoke and they left each other contemplating on the next words he will say.

“I need help. How do I know I like YN?” Collective gasps were heard throughout and one by one they slowly left the group of friends on the table leaving Max with Lando and George.

“How about we sleep over your question and. . .think— think about it you know?” Lando, the first to talk regarding the revelation that their stoic friend has now developed feelings for someone.

“Sleep? I hardly get any sleep these nights. I want to confirm my feelings now so I can finally sleep peacefully.”

That’s when the pair noticed the bags under his eyes, mostly due to the lack of sleep like he said. Lando took a glance at George and started to talk telepathically at each other.

George sighs before pushing Max from his seat, “You see Max these feelings can’t be confirmed in a night, these requ-”

“It’s been weeks, George, I can’t lose sleep over such a trivial matter.” Max retorted with a firm stance using his lack of sleep as a front to confirm his feelings.

“Okay, first of all feelings are not a trivial matter. They are valid, and whatever is going on in your head about YN shouldn’t be taken lightly. Not because we’re curious but because we care about your emotional well being.” Lando spoke in a serious voice which only added on to Max’ confusion.

Feelings are not a big deal, at least not for him.

“And we're curious as to why you like YN.” George chimed as he followed the pair outside the room.

“Yes we’re curious but now how about I give you some romance books that you can study and read. Only you can confirm your feelings Max, let’s stop by my room and I’ll give you books you can read and next week- next week we’ll talk about this matter again.”

Lando now sounds like a mom scolding his child for misbehaving, dragging the latter to his room and sending him off with a tower of romance books.

Max is smart, he can understand such concepts by himself.

Feeling accomplished, Lando glanced at George smirking at him before walking away with Max to his apartment.

Max on the other hand went inside his room and began to bury himself in the books he brought along. “If I’m not sleeping at least I get my feelings in line.”

One chapter. And another turns to five and in the blink of an eye a week has passed. Max returned to his routine but instead of sleeping at one he pushed it to an even later hour to make time for reading which helped him sleep.

The first nights were hard, after finishing a chapter of the book he finds himself falling asleep and now you appear to become more vivid in his mind. Invading his dreams as romantic scenarios play on repeat while Max mindlessly sleeps which results in him waking up flustered and warm.

Passing by you on the paddock became frequent; it's as if the universe has its way to bring you together. Now everywhere Max looked there was you, in the corner of his sight you occupied a chunk of his thoughts and as much as he hated to admit he found himself anticipating your presence.

By the end of the week you managed to invade his thoughts and heart which only strengthened his theory and confirmed his feelings for you. With no time to waste, Max went to look for you. The second practice was over, he’s telling you what you’re doing to him.

With new found information from the team about your whereabouts, Max made his way to the hospitality locating where you’re assigned he opens the door abruptly to see you preparing food. You stand straight feeling the intimidating aura around him, you watch him exhale a sigh of relief before talking a large step in your direction. On instinct you back away giving him space, every step Max takes is a step backward from you.

Unknowingly your feet hit the corner of the marble countertop and like a cliché scene Max remembers from the books he’s been reading you stumble backwards.

Max is a racer for a reason, and with swift reflexes he managed to catch your fall and brought you up to your feet. “You should watch where you’re going. I don’t want you falling just like how I fell for you.”

Silence. Complete, utter silence from the both of you paired with the low buzz of the booming air conditioner right near you. You blink your eyes incredulously, “What?”

“I mean. . . I do want you to fall for me, it would be sad to find out that my feelings are one-sided. But I mean my words YN.”

You adjust your posture and back away. “What are the words Max? About me falling to the ground or you. . . you f- falling for me?” Your voice thins out at the end unsure of what you just heard.

“Both. I don’t want you to fall, it’s dangerous just like how you did to me. You enamored me with those charms, I just want to know how you did it.” Max spoke with the most bored and plain looking face he could muster up. His palms were sweating inside his pockets in extreme nervousness.

“Is this- is this your confession perhaps?” You try to piece things together, like the subtle clues Lando and George have been leaving out of nowhere.

“Yes. This is my confession.” Max blurts out as sweat drips from the side of his forehead. And just as he was losing hope from this failed confession your bubbly laugh bursts the silence in the air.

“You know, you need to work on your confession more. That was unlike any other, but I understand what you mean. Do you want me to fall for you, Maxie?”

Max stares at you and you don't miss the soft gaze he set upon you. You note the light blush spread around the apples of his cheeks as his eyes light up the moment you called his name. The once awkward silent air was now filled with a warm feeling that spread all over your body, leaving goosebumps all over your skin.

“I do. I fell for you, I like you, and I want to mean something to you.”

His way with words caught you off guard, Max Verstappen, who would’ve thought. You smile at him, this time it’s you walking towards his direction.

Max stiffened at the proximity between the two of you, his feet stuck to the floor preventing him from backing away. Your face gets closer to his and all the thoughts clouding his mind have been wiped away.

You face him and whisper something in his ear before walking away towards the kitchen at the back, legs shaking and breaths heavy.

Taking a moment to himself Max meditates in an attempt to calm his bouncing heart, legs shaking as if they ran a hundred miles, and his mind whirring into different ideas and possibilities.

Max never falls- literally and figuratively.

Yet you managed to be the root of all his problems. The person who made him fall, there was no doubt that Max fell and will still be falling for you.

#f1 fluff #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine

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a-fantastic-time · 30 days

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Tali: "Bosh'tet! Ah, why am I so hot lately? Mmm, I just, ah~, can't seem to calm down!" Tali had retreated to her room almost immediately after the latest mission, as always once the danger had passed the mere sight of Jane had gotten her pussy soaked. She couldn't understand why, but for some reason about two months ago her mild curiosity about Shepard had turned into a borderline obsession. Every night she went to sleep thinking of her, dreamed of her, woke up having came to her dreams of Shepard! The only time she could properly focus was when she was either doing her job, or on a mission.

It was as she thought about this new problem of hers that she heard EDI's voice over the comms. EDI: "Engineer Tali, please report to the Commander's cabin for debriefing on the latest mission and inspection for any unauthorized foreign materials." Tali groaned as she had to stop fingering herself right in the middle of her masturbation session. She should have seen this coming, ever since The Illusive Man's agents had secreted aboard the ship through the use of hidden nano machines attached to the crew's clothes any time someone went off the ship and came back there were a whole slew of scans and inspections that they had to go through. Tali: "Ugh! EDI you have terrible timing!" Despite this she slowly stood up, straightened her suit and left her cabin to head towards Shepard's. EDI meanwhile stood holding her now visibly pregnant belly in her hands as she waited patiently in Jane's cabin with her, she nodded and looked to the Commander. EDI: "Commander, Engineer Tali is on her way up here, I believe she is ready for her promotion to second cum dump and breeding whore Commander. The pheromones and post-hypnotic triggers have placed her in a near constant state of arousal when not performing her other duties, she should only have thoughts of you and your cock by now."

"I am still unsure of how you made those things. I knew Cerberus had made some freightening tech, but thats almost magic in my opinion." Jane said walking around her room and cleaning every surface she could think of. Making sure nothing could make Tali sick if thing were going to get all hot and steamy soon enough.

At first she wasn't sure if she should let her release such kinds of things on her ship, but the thought of Tali bent over her bed and fucking the best ass on the ship was far too enticing.

Afterward, she walked over and gently placed her hand on EDI"s belly. Kissing her gently and even teasing her new milk filled tits. "God I cannot get how big these things got. How are you even able to walk?"

She chuckled and sat down and pulled EDI Into her lap, gently groping her body where ever she could get her hands. Her cock already beginning to grow inside her pants. But she wanted to make sure Tali was here, before anything hot and heavy started.

Normally Shepard would never think of doing anything like this to her crew, let alone her closest friends. But something about EDI's changes, and the way she became a literal slave to her cock triggered something in her.

Maybe it was due to Cerberus's changes to her mind, but all that mattered was she was going to dick down a hot alien girl. She peppered the bot's face with kisses and whispering sweet nothings into her audio receptors, waiting till a knock at her door finally got her attention.

"Come on in Tali. Make yourself at home." She shouted loud enough for her to hear, all while pressing a button on her Omni tool to unlock the door.

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winterlogysblog · 1 year

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AM I RECORDING (DRABBLE) | FAIRY TAIL FANFIC

Title: Am I recording

Pairing: Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia

Summary: It all started with a subreddit post.

AO3 | FFNET

Based on the YouTuber / Streamer AU I posted.

Note: I'll write for the other couples as well.

------

Lucy smiled as she watched a YouTube video and prepared her own set-up.

"We're back with Uno!!" He shouted.

It's Natsu Dragneel's video. He's playing a multi-player game with his friends which in Lucy's opinion is always his best content.

The latest video in a series where he plays with Gray, Gajeel, and Juvia.

"Are you guys ready?" He asked.

"Ready for hours of fuckery, you bet your sweet ass I am," Juvia replied.

Collective shocked gasps and Oh My Gods erupted.

"Jesus Christ." Natsu laughs. "Way to start the game Juvs."

"Don't mind her she's high on coffee," Gray added.

She can't help but giggle. Their interactions are just so funny, their chemistry with each other is absolutely brilliant, and they are enjoying themselves and having fun.

"Red cards would be very much appreciated you guys." Natsu chuckled as the cards in his hands were just a bunch of red number cards.

"Sure do bud." Gajeel chuckled as he played a +4 card and changed the color to red.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!" Natsu shouted as the rest laughed.

Lucy laughed along and decided to finish the video before she started filming her own. She has her own YouTube channel and she has a pretty decent amount of subscribers and views.

Her plan for today was to film a make-up transformation video, an Arcane-inspired look. Even if she is a make-up channel she loves different shows, movies and games and she draws inspiration from them and makes something of her own.

------

Natsu looked at his computer for a while, deciding on what to do. He had a blast playing Uno with the others yesterday. He has 6 hours' worth of footage, he can definitely milk that in at least 3 videos. After a bit of contemplating, he has decided to plan an upcoming collab with Gray where they try to make carbonated anything since he just bought a soda maker which should arrive by tomorrow.

After, he decided to record a video where he scrolls through his subreddit. A classic. While reviewing the posts he stumbled upon a picture of a beautiful blonde girl.

"Lucky Lucy is a YouTuber who does these YouTuber inspired looks. She did one of Erza, Mira and Levy already and she recently posted this one of you." Natsu read the description.

"Oh that's really cool." Natsu said, and clicked the link and played the video.

"Hello, my shining stars welcome back to another one of my videos." She started.

"This is part 4 of my YouTuber-inspired look series. If you're new here and you don't know what that is, this is a series where I take my favorite YouTubers and turn their brand into a makeup look. And today we'll be doing Natsu D Slayer, he's my favorite YouTuber like ever, I'm a huge fan."

Natsu, despite knowing absolutely nothing about makeup, watched her intently.

"He is really funny and charming, and my favorite content of his is when he does collaborations with his friends. His chemistry with literally anyone is amazing." She said.

"Awww... that's so nice, and she's doing such a good job too. I know nothing about makeup and I can't judge her but I love the dragon. It looks like Mike Tyson's face tattoo but it's a dragon... and it has color." Natsu commented and laughs at his own stupid comparison.

"And this is the finished look." She smiled and did close-up shots of the details.

"It honestly looks amazing. Lucy, you look beautiful and I love the dragon." He smiled.

------

Lucy literally jumped from her seat and screamed bloody murder when she saw Natsu's latest video.

"Dragon Makeup?!"

She looked through her notifications and realized that he left a like on her video.

The thumbnail is a close-up of the dragon she painted on her face when he made an inspired makeup look of him.

She didn't hesitate to play the video. The video is a regular Reddit meme video and by the time he watched her video, she almost cried at all the things that he said. The footage of her video was cut and the only thing that was kept was the beginning, the end, and the Mike Tyson tattoo comparison to the Dragon which she found hilarious. She finished watching the video and pressed the like button and commented on her gratitude towards what he said.

------

It didn't take long for Natsu to find Lucy's channel intriguing. He followed her YouTuber-inspired look series based on pure curiosity and soon he finds her other content and is pretty impressed with what she could do with her brush.

He finds her really intriguing so he ended up reaching out to her and they slowly became friends.

One day, he contacted her.

"Hey, Lucy. I know my type of content isn't really in-lined with yours but I would love to collaborate with you. I'll be playing Uno with Erza and Gray next week and you're welcome to join us."

Lucy screamed in delight as she read the message. She immediately typed in her reply agreeing to the collab.

------

Lucy has so much fun playing with them. She now understands why Natsu loves collaborating so much with them.

Once the video is posted. There's a huge wave of fans loving her interactions with the group which is a huge relief to her.

This might be just the beginning of a wonderful and amazing relationship.

#fanfiction #fairy tail fanfic #fairy tail fanfiction #fanfic #nalu fanfic #nalu #Youtuber Au #fairy tail 100 yq #fairy tail 100 years quest

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seriouslysam8 · 6 months

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Hey Sam, I recently came across the story of Brumous on Reddit and it really resonated with me. It made me think of my nephew, who's currently facing a tough time due to his parent’s bitter divorce. My sister, his mom, is working tirelessly to overcome the financial burden her abusive cheating ex-husband left her with. Despite her efforts, it's challenging for her to be as present in her son's life as she wants to be.

Last week, my nephew had a school presentation, but due to work constraints, my sister couldn't attend. Her boss threatened to let her go if she took the day off. Meanwhile, his dad, who holds a grudge against my sister for finally leaving him, is making false promises to their son out of spite. This situation breaks my heart because my nephew, despite everything, remains a kind and selfless child.

He never asks for anything, even when offered. Instead, he spends time in the toy aisle in Target but never buys anything for himself, choosing to rather buy essentials or things for his mom. It's devastating to witness a child who chooses to buy milk, oatmeal, and a rose for his mom instead of a $15 toy like every other child. With my own limitations as a full-time student barely making ends meet, I try to support them as much as I can, taking care of him whenever possible and trying to bring some joy into his life.

Despite my efforts, there's a lingering sadness in his eyes that troubles me deeply. Recently, I skipped class to attend his presentation and connected my sister via FaceTime so she could experience it too. Seeing the sheer happiness on his face was priceless, and his emotional reaction upon seeing his mom nearly moved me to tears.

As a parent yourself, I'm reaching out to ask for advice. What more can I do for my nephew? I’m scared he might feel neglected or grow up carrying resentment due to this situation he’s been put in. My sister is also struggling emotionally, feeling guilty because of the tight financial situation and not being able to give her son the life and attention he deserves. I’m scared of what his father is capable of because of what he put my sister through, but my nephew who is scared of him thinks it’s his job to help him out or fix him. Is there anything I could do better to help them out? Especially my nephew.

Gosh, this is a lot. I’m by far not the best person to ask for advice with this. I’ve never been in this situation in any of the positions.

I think the best thing you can do is just be there for them. Listen to your sister vent if she needs it. Show up for your nephew as much as you can. I think it’s wonderful what you did by skipping class to be there for him and to FaceTime your sister to boot. That was so incredibly kind of you. Maybe even try to get the rest of the family to be there as well, whether it’s your parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, what have you. Have them be there for your nephew and your sister. I don’t know about your sister, but I have a hard time asking for help. I will drive myself into the ground before I’d ask anyone for help. Sometimes, just asking for help for them is a big thing. I know I feel way more comfortable when someone offers their help than me having to ask for it. But that’s a personality thing and only you know what kind of person your sister is.

So, truly, the best thing you can do is be there. To take the video or to FaceTime when his mom can’t. Going over on a random weekend and watching a movie with your nephew and sister is big. Just showing that support is the best thing you can do, in my opinion.

Also, in my very nonprofessional opinion as I've known friends who have done this while getting divorced with kids, document everything. Save every single voicemail, text, correspondence. Document. Document. Document. Save that shit in case you need it for family court. Every time he doesn't show up, write that shit down. Anytime he's late to pick up or drop off, write that shit down. If he makes a threat to someone, write that shit down with the date, time, and what he said. If that's a regular thing, where he says terrible things and/or threatening things to her or him, record it. In person or on the phone. Look up your state's consent laws (assuming you're in the US). Some states have a two-party consent where both people have to agree to be recorded and others only have one-party consent. If he's abusive and your nephew is scared of him, that's the best thing you can do. Have evidence in court to back you up.

I'm sorry your family has to deal with this. I hope things get better soon for all of you.

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hirukochan · 6 months

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Aaah i’m the fragrances anon. thank you for the answer. always happy to read writers rambles about their ocs!

so if you don’t mind…i have another heehee

for freya, dove, harrie, and snape!

What are some of their favorite desserts or treats?

What are their favorite/must have purchase from honeydukes?

What type of tea is their favorite/go to (green tea? earl grey? roasted black? do they like it hot or iced?) and what stuff do they put in their tea? (lemon?milk?sugar content?honey?)

*inserting my opinion: black jasmine with any citrus sweetened ice tea is superior*🤭 you can share about yours too!

i just love reading about the little things from ocs behind story. for me things like this just added more depth to their story🤌🤌🤌 -🤍🤍🤍

Hi again!

Freya

1. She likes a nice Eton Mess with fresh berries but I also like to think her friend Luise made her a proper Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte once and she loves it ever since! She has Luise make her some German dessert whenever they visit each other. Bienenstich is her second favourite! It’s a scrumptious cake made from a yeast dough with an almond-sugar crust that caramelises while baking and is filled with a vanilla creme.

2. Skeletal sweets - she’d find it extremely funny and her friends always wonder why??? Are you laughing??? Also the Chocolate Skeletons.

3. Any tea Snape makes. Snape’s teas are tiny little potions! The teas he gave her for Christmas are her all time favourite. Especially the for studying tea blend he made for her with nettles, mint, rosemary and dried pieces of orange peel. With a bit of honey or pure.

Dove

She is a bit tricky, she’s a reader-insert after all but in my mind it’s this

1. She doesn’t really have one…chocolate cake might be. Light fruit tarts. She doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth because she was never allowed to have sugar.

2. She wasn't allowed to go to Honeydukes so Snape would have to take her and keep encouraging her to pick something for herself. She’d probably be way too overwhelmed and afraid and Snape would end up telling the owner to put together a small bag with his best selling candies and they take a stroll around the forest surrounding Honeydukes while they try the different treats. I think she’d like the no-melt-icecream. Going to Fortescue’s ice cream parlour with her sisters was a fond memory and while it’s not bitter sweet it would remind her of their utter joy that day. She’d find the ice-mice funny! And probably also the Glacial Snow Flakes.

3. Unsweetened rose petal tea, both as a hot tea with a few treats or as an iced tea in the garden, watching over the girls 🥰

Harrie

1. Treacle tart. It’s Treacle tart

2. The standards: Chocolate Frogs, Chocolate Wands, Sugar Quills and some Pumpkin Pasties for late night snack cravings.

3. I don’t think Harrie is much of a tea drinker. Maybe some heavily sweetened wild berry tea that tastes like molten candy 🤣

Snape

1. White chocolate mousse. The Hogwarts house elves make a big bowl everyday for dinner. It sits on the teacher’s table and all professors know better than to try and touch it. Snape gets defensive about his white chocolate mousse. Lockhart took some of it back in Harrie’s second year. Snape didn’t say anything at the time but all the other teachers audibly gasped and the next day he quite suddenly and unexpectedly fell ill with the nastiest cold Poppy had ever seen.

Lockhart learnt two lessons from that: Don’t touch Snape’s chocolate mousse and don’t leave your cup unattended around Snape in the staff room.

2. White chocolate in any form it comes. And he is quite fond of the Peppermint Toads, both things he’d deny vehemently. No student ever sees him enter Honeydukes. He either goes in like ten minutes before closing on a wednesday or he sends an owl to pick up his order. Look, he needs his sugar rush to deal with the atrocious writing skills of his students.

3. Despite being a terrible tea snob his favourite is a cup of scorching hot, proper builder’s tea. Very strong black tea, very little milk, rarely any sugar. He drinks it without letting it cool down enough.

When his father was drinking it in the kitchen, tiny Sev knew it would be a good day so he has gotten quite fond of it and continues to stock the same super cheap teabag his father had.

Apart from that he likes a nice Oolong. He drinks it pure since adding anything would insult the flavour profile in his opinion. He takes his time to prepare it properly, re-brews it several times to get the most out of his tea, enjoying each new unique flavour with every re-brew. He doesn’t grade when drinking this tea. He just sits in his favourite spot and enjoys his tea. It’s a rare indulgence but one that keeps him sane.

No iced tea. Never. It’s a sin against all tea in his eyes.

My favourite tea is Lady Grey! It’s a less bitter version of Earl Grey with dried lemon and orange peel. A bit of sugar, a little splash of milk and I’m happy.

I also love strawberry-mint tea but only as loose tea! That one makes a nice cold-brew tea as well. I drink often drink that during summer 🥰.

I don’t like pure jasmine tea but my favourite boba tea is green tea with jasmine!

#ask #oc ask #behind the fic #A Servant of Death tag #your tears tag #carrying atlas tag #snape headcanon #ao3 fanfic #fic writing

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fakeosirian · 1 year

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it's my duty as your house of anubis mutual to ask you about patricia and eddie (for the ship bingo)

BLESS YOU BELOVED MUTUAL if i can rely on anything in this world. it's this <3

FIRST ACTUAL BINGO BABEY (and arguably there are more squares that depending on what i'm doing with them i could say are true that would make at least one more bingo but i reigned myself in a bit LOL)

peddie is so flexible in vibes?? i love that you can take their relationship in multiple different directions and it's still totally legit/within their range because there really is That Much to do with them (depending on the level of tragedy you want to milk out of them/what point in the show you're talking about/how much you want a happy ending for them) while it still feeling like their very specific brand/within their characterization

in my view (and this may be unpopular? idk) the only thing keeping them together by the end of the show is sheer force of will to not let go of their relationship because its just. A Thing They Need To Keep Doing. even if it hurts. literally everything around them (not just the plot tho that is too lol) is a huge neon sign saying BREAK UP PLEASE GOD. now dont get me wrong they absolutely are compatible, but there's so much about them that isn't re: small things that get in the way that become big things, sometimes incidental/situational and sometimes genuine incompatibilities, that they have to put a LOT of effort in to keep from flying apart by default. that's not a diss/not me saying i don't like them together -- tbh two people that are that devoted despite The Agonies is fascinating esp in the context of season 3b -- but more that they're SOOOO flexible narratively/thematically as a dramatic pairing and i love them for it + they are one of the few ships i genuinely enjoy breaking up/getting back together/breaking up/getting back together ad infinitum in my imagination LOL

definitely unpopular opinion is i don't see them working as a long term couple post-show? (or at the very least they break up For Realz/get different partners/maybe get back together later in life but as far as they know at that point they're done) like ok i enjoy the fics ive read + headcanons that keep them together A LOT but in my heart of hearts...my peddie breaks up dramatically, makes up after a lengthy period of Not Talking and causing hijinks and shenanigans for those around them, and then become the type of incredibly close friends you can only be if you have a very overdramatic romantic past LOL like new partners need to be "approved by [patricia/eddie]" "who is that? your sibling? "ew no of course not. it's my ex" "?????"

expanding on that: i don't really have a "preferred ship" to replace them with (i know i have specific non-peddie ships for them lined up in my fic but those are for the circumstances of That Fic specifically and not necessarily my ideal pairings for them) all i know is i like them when they're messy because they're sooooo good when they finally get catharsis (esp when it's not in the way they're expecting as two people who expect the worst from life and preemptively react accordingly, thus reinforcing the bad things they expect more often than not)

the irony of that is i kind of find it tedious sometimes in the actual show when they're being messy and enjoy their functional romance scenes the most but tbh it's mostly because they get stuck in cycles of being the same type of messy ('explainable misunderstanding #9387982734' i'm looking at you. Sorry) the toxicity is at its best when it's Fresh

inherent eroticism of attempted murder being ? is for 3b but the more i think about it the more i wish i had just full-on colored it in because it really is them even when there isn't possession involved actually LMAO

cursed thing i realized: this may be one of the very few totally legit enemies to lovers ships ive actively gotten into and written content for. i'm usually a friends to lovers pining and yearning enjoyer (if that wasn't obvious already) or, if there's antagonism there, prefers rivals to lovers but peddie....peddie hits

anyway closing thoughts they are highly entertaining and of all of the hoa ships i've spent a significant amount of time thinking about/writing for, probably the most versatile/fun to do things with and have the widest range/mileage? not a ship to be comforted with but a ship to challenge me creatively LOL especially since outside of hoa, if i have strong feelings on ships in a given fandom, i tend to get very. rigid and picky with what ships i like/what i don't (ie. i like despite the horrors of Having Conflict in the Narrative for my ships to have happy endings and tend to avoid ones that have fundamental incompatibilities that would most likely result in a breakup) and peddie is what i have to thank for Opening My Mind to that tbh

#thankfullynotaredshirt #answered #tysm!!! coincidentally ive been thinking about them a lot/considering making a post since i've been getting to the point in foyf where #they actually will be breaking up soon (probs not for another few chapters at least but its on the horizon) so this was a good way to do it #that doesnt feel like im trying to discourse or something LOL #hoa

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dopecoffeerebel · 2 years

Text

new blog post!!!

Hi guys I am Cassius Clae B Ramos, 16 years old and the youngest child in our family. I have an older brother. I finished my Junior High School in Sto. Nino National High School with high marks and received special awards such as best in math and science. The purpose of my blog today is to inspire young people and give a little advice on what strands to take in senior high.

Let me begin my blog by telling you about my childhood. My father and mother are both in the military, so they are always away from home because of their assignments. Only my grandmother looked after us. We can't be with my parents on holidays like my birthday, Christmas, New Years, and Family Day because they are on duty. When I was in prep school, my grandmother was unable to teach me my subject due to her old age. Because my parents couldn't afford a tutor, This is when I began to seek the protection of a parent and began to question why they were not present and why the work was so far away. There are times when I envy my classmates, especially when there is a PTA meeting or a family day that requires the presence of parents. When I ask my grandmother, she always says that my parents work far away because there is a lot of milk to buy. Despite the fact that we are in this situation, I have learned to be independent in all situations after studying alone, getting dressed, and early learning to do housework. I didn't let my parents distance keep me from being an honor student. I am a consistent honor pupil and student back then. This is also where I discovered my innate talent for math and science. I always take part in the Quiz bee and the math challenge.

I'm currently a student at St. Paul University in the eleventh grade. I choose to continue my education here because I am cognizant of how my talents will develop here and because I believe this institution is among the best for students with aspirations similar to mine.I anticipate becoming a competent physician and providing medical care to the people of my municipality in ten years.Currently, accessing healthcare services in rural areas is still a challenge. There are still many people who are unable to receive therapy for a variety of factors, such as personal struggles. One day, I hope to be a doctor to the Bario, and I know that getting into this institution will help me realize that goal. Additionally, the Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM) strand I selected also assisted me in realizing my dream. Through this strand, I am introduced to challenging mathematical and scientific theories and concepts that will serve as a basis for my BS Biology course in college, which will prepare me for my medical degree, which is, in my opinion, the finest preparation overall...

There is no short cut to success, as I am aware of. It takes persistence. Use this inspiration to help you accomplish your dreams rather of letting obstacles or hardships in life prevent you from realizing your goals. When selecting a college course, you should consider your interests as well. Because it's difficult to do something you don't want to do. As a result, you must first carefully assess your ability and interest. There must be love in everything you do, and you must always give your best effort. It is entirely up to you to decide which path you will take. It can't be because your parents want it or because your best friend wants it. It should, however, be determined by your ability and, as a result, your passion. At this point in my life, I can finally understand why my parents made the sacrifice of leaving us behind in order to provide for a better future. It takes sacrifice in all facets of life to raise a family; it is not an easy task. And I'd like to take this chance to express my gratitude to my loving parents, who are constantly by our side and willing to help. They aspire to our success. And to my grandmother, I genuinely thank you for looking after us while we were little. I also wish you a long life so you can witness me fulfilling my life's ambition. To my instructors who patiently guided me and helped me develop my talents. And above all, dear God, thank you for loving and always guiding me and my loved

ones.❤️

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tender-rosiey · 3 years

Note

hi hi <3 back to request bc i just love your work!

could i request haikyuu boys reacting to their fem!s/o getting a phone call and a guy on the other line says “hey, you home alone?” or something along those lines. there was a tik tok trend where girls would get a fake ft call with a guy saying ^ to see how their boyfriends would react, i think i may be able to find a video if you want but i do hope i explained this well :)

❥ “Hey, you home alone?” Prank on HQ characters

Includes Oikawa, Bokuto, Tsukishima and Kageyama

ᴀ/ɴ: i am glad you like my work, luv and this looks fun to write and I love these pranks a lot! hope you liked this luv 💕 also did my blog really go quack or is my stuff just getting ignored 👩‍🦲

Oikawa Tooru:

I would like to write a whole damn essay about how much I love oikawa but this is not our topic for today until now at least

SO, you felt bored and wanted to do something, plus oikawa has been free from pranks for far too long

That’s another reason why TikTok is your place to go for pranks

You saw said prank and wanted to do it since our lovely tooru has rather interesting reactions

So you set it up the sound and held your phone while your boyfriend is in the kitchen counter behind you preparing a snack for movie night

It was all fine and dandy until

“Hey, you home alone?”

You suddenly heard things stumble and your boyfriend was beside you in a snap with a frown on his face

“No she is not alone and in fact we are going on a date so you can just go FUCK YOURSELF— babe you are recording?”

You then smiled cheekily before bursting out laughing resulting in the blank stare and a pout from your boyfriend beside you

“Y/N, that’s mean, how dare you?”

However you didn’t expect your boyfriend to slam down on you and try and suffocate you with hugs

“Tooru get off!”

“No, apologize!”

He also peppered your face with kisses until you were sorry

You also posted the TikTok and it got more than 400k likes 👩‍🦲

And my favorite part is the comments so let’s start

Some of them were like

“LMAO THE SPEED HE GOT THERE WITH”

and “he is so pretty tho tf”

as well as “the kisses at the end were adorable tho lol”

Of course his ass was sticking out while peppering you with kisses so someone commented

“What a flat ass”

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bokuto Koutarou:

I personally believe that Bokuto would have TikTok and would know about the trends unlike the dumbass up there who I think would only stick to one side of TikTok

Bokuto likes diversity in everything and doesn’t like getting left out, once again it’s my opinion

So he obviously knows the trend and you know that he knows, so you got a video of someone with a voice he never heard

He had just came from training and entered the home with a big smile and greeted you with a kiss

And so as he turned his back to you he heard

“Hey, you home alone?”

Bokuto threw the toilet roll at your phone knocking it down

His hair then deflated and looked at you with a look that made you feel extremely guilty

“Kou, it’s a prank.”

He then crossed his arms and faced away pouting

Now how do we make up things to a deflated and pouty Bokuto Koutaro, the great captain of Fukurodani?

Hug him from behind and start kissing his cheek and face then tighten the hug, like you are doing right now

He starts to relax to your touch still being just a little petty

“Don’t do that again, Y/N; these pranks aren’t funny.” He said barely audible as he was trying not to break his pout

He then broke into a fit of laughter and turned to hug you cause I stand by word when I say bokuto loves physical affection with every fiber of his being

And you guys continued the day cuddling <3

Onto the comments:

“HOW COULD HE KNOCK US DOWN LIKE THAT”

“That aim tho”

“HE IS SO MUSCULAR”

“Can we buy someone like him?”

He also gave you a kiss on the cheek while the camera was filming

Cause ✨ AFFECTION ✨

And by the way

He told kuroo about this

And kuroo is planning a lovely prank to get you back for what you did for his bro 🥱

And kou doesn’t have any idea that kuroo is doing a prank even

Tsukishima Kei:

BAHAHA

The fact that you thought this was a good idea is very humorous, however tsukishima has TikTok, but ,unlike Bokuto, he literally knows everything

And he knew the moment you kept staring at him with a smirk on your face that there is something up

Inasmuch he was patiently waiting for your time to strike

He however then heard kageyama’s voice say

“Hey, you home alone?”

Love, when I tell you he whipped his head so damn fast he almost snapped it

“Hey king why don’t you go stick your dick in a dirt hole instead, y/n is too good for you.”

Cue you laughing while replaying the recording of kageyama saying that same line three more times

Explaining to him that it was a prank took some long time cause tsukishima was being a petty bitch

“Keiiii, I told you I am sorry—“ “no.” “Please, talk to me!”

Maybe just give him a hug or threaten him with going to kageyama and he will hug you from behind

“Don’t do it again, or I will never forgive you.”

Of course you wouldn’t go off the hook so easily sweetie

Tsukishima Kei ,as Tanaka once said, never forgets to counter and take revenge

So you basically started a prank war and may god be with your neighbors

But y’all still gonna watch the movie you agreed on and gossip so 🙄

You even managed to make him put on a face mask which I salute you for by the way

He is a little disappointed in himself cause he already knew you were gonna do something but still was shocked or rather startled

And for the comments which are the loveliest

“Woah is his neck okay—“

“The GLARE HE SO MAD”

“So stubborn wow”

You showed kageyama his reaction and he almost burst out laughing instead just ended up smirking in an evil way

While on the other hand hinata was rolling on the floor having the best laugh of his life aside from the one after his first receive which I was very proud of him for

Kageyama Tobio:

Hinata was low key gonna ruin it all

Why?

He almost laughed his way through the one sentence he was supposed to say

So your boyfriend was just doing his nails peacefully like the pretty boy setter he is until your dumbass decided to do the prank him while he was doing that

And so in the middle of his nail care session he heard the voice of his best friend say

“Hey, you home alone?”

You didn’t want to use the actual audio since when you guys cuddle he watched TikTok with you and basically knows the trends because of you

Unlike his senior who despite having TikTok doesn’t remember trends for shit

So you called his best friend and made him take part in this and sacrifice his being for a good laugh

Anyways back to him almost injuring his finger when he heard it

“HINATA BOKE WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM Y/N?!”

“BAHAHAHAHA I AM SORRY Y/N I CANT!”

He kept glaring at hinata through the phone and ended up hanging up on him and returning him to the “to serve at their head” list for the 37th time

He just looked at you and pouted unintentionally

“It wasn’t funny you know, you scared me.”

now make it up to him

“What can I do so you can forgive me then, Tobio?”

“…milk and cuddles.”

And so he got it what he asked for

Hinata’s funeral got scheduled 3 days later but he made it out alive so it’s okay :D

The comments were interesting to say the least

“Did he just do like oxen do? You know, the air from their nose when mad”

“THE NAIL; IT ALMOST BROKE NO”

“So pretty”

“I feel like the orange headed dude is gonna get his ass handed to him.”

He went to ask noya and tanaka for advice to get you back for what you did

To which they told him to ignore you for 24 hours

They also shared the idea because they heard oikawa and tsukishima talking about it separately

They also showed him their evil laugh

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

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milkybonya · 3 years

Text

heartbroken

order 003 for anon: a large banana milk tea with strawberry popping boba for treasure’s Yedam

Warnings: angst, crying, explicit language, threats, violence

Summary: where Yedam is the badboy! at school and he has a soft spot for you ^-^ you somehow end up as his tutor and.. yeah :")

[a/n]: idk why it's so hard for me to imagine Yedam as a bad boy??? i hope i wrote this well T.T i love the badboy! concept tho hehe so i loved this,, aLSO I'M SORRY FOR SACRIFICING JEONGWOO LIKE THIS JEONGWOO ILY <3 i feel like i kind of unconsciously wrote Yedam as resembling Han Seo Jun from True Beauty hmmmm also i’ve been listening to a lot of Kang Daniel lately and am falling hard for that man so if you see this pls send Kang Daniel pics thx ily

"Everyone move the fuck aside and let me through," Yedam growls, speaking to the crowd that's blocking the classroom door. No one listens so he barges through, pushing people down to the ground if he has to just to get to class.

He doesn't care about why they've all gathered, or the poor student that has fainted at the door. He simply sits at his desk, props his feet up and closes his eyes to take a nap as all the students wonder what they should do.

"Yedam, what the hell?! Now is not the time for sleeping. A student has fainted and all you do is push people aside so you can nap at your desk?"

Yedam opens his eyes and pushes up the shades he's wearing. No one has ever spoken to him like this before, and even the students tending to the fainted person are shocked overhearing this. A relatively quiet student yelling at Yedam?

Who's this? Yedam wonders to himself, staring you up and down. He catches a glimpse of your name tag: [y/n]. I've never met this person- ... oh.

The one memory with you that he remembers: him falling off the top of the soccer goal post in an empty field just last year after class had already ended; you leaving the library and finding him there. Despite being scared of him and wanting to just leave, you approached him and gave him a piggy back all the way to the nearest hospital. He remembers the searing pain in his leg and how fast you tried to run, the wind blowing your hair in all directions as you shouted words of comfort into the wind: "It's gonna be okay! We'll get to the hospital soon, I promise."

When he later told his friend, Haruto about it, Haruto said, "I would've left you there and never looked back."

Even though Yedam knew he was joking, he can't forget how kind your actions were that day.

Is this why he isn't getting mad at you even though you're yelling in his face?

"Just let me take a nap," is all he says to you, sliding his sunglasses back down on his face. You shake your head at him before leaving the classroom, rushing to tell the teacher about the fainted student.

From that day, Yedam decides he won't leave you alone. For what reason? No one knows, not even him.

"Sir!"

"Yes, Yedam, what is your question?" the teacher asks, turning around from the blackboard to face the class.

"Can I change my seat?" Yedam asks.

The class laughs until Yedam shoots a glare in everyone’s direction.

"We're in the middle of a mathematics lesson, Yedam. Talk to me about it later."

"It's an emergency!"

"What's the emergency?"

"I need to sit here," Yedam says, getting up from his spot and walking to the seat on your right, tapping his fingers on the desk.

"And why's that?" the teacher asks, crossing his arms.

"Because... it's closer to the blackboard?"

Your heart is nervously racing throughout this interaction. Never in a million years would you want Yedam, the school's most renowned bad boy to sit beside you. Never.

"You've been sitting in the back for years. What's the problem?" the teacher asks.

"There's a problem. Very big one."

Yedam sits on the desk of that innocent student, sitting on their notes and crossing his arms.

"Yedam, can we talk about this later-"

"Nope. Hey... Junkyu? Can you move to my spot?" Yedam asks the student. One fierce glare from him is enough to get the student to pack up and clear the desk out.

"See? problem sorted," Yedam tells the teacher, sitting at his new spot beside you.

The teacher worriedly looks at you, noticing your discomfort.

"Well, we need to hurry on with the lesson so we'll talk about this later, okay?" the teacher explains, looking at both you and Yedam.

For the rest of the lesson, Yedam does nothing but stare at you. You don't look at him, not even once, but you can feel his eyes on you. It makes you lose focus, even though you're trying your best to take notes.

He's memorizing all of your features. the curve of your nose and lips, the colour of your eyes and how they look in the sunlight. He doesn't know why, but he just wants to look at you.

Finally, when the lesson ends and the teacher asks both of you to follow him to his office, you slam your arms down on your desk and glare at Yedam.

"Can you stop staring at me? I haven't been able to focus and you're making me uncomfortable!" you yell, silencing the chatter of the classroom.

Yedam gulps.

"I can't focus either, cause of you," Yedam says with a wink, resting his head on his palm.

You cough, shocked at his words.

"What are you saying?" you choke out.

"Let's go to the teacher's office. Whatever he says, tell him you're helping me with my studies so I need to sit beside you."

"And if I don't?" you challenge Yedam.

Yedam simply glares at you with his sharp eyes and you decide to comply.

As he lopes out of the class in a relaxed manner, you rush along behind him. In the teacher's office, you sit beside one another and across from your teacher, who sighs before he speaks.

"Yedam, I can tell [y/n] is uncomfortable with your actions. They don't want to be sitting beside you so please go back to your usual spot for the next class, okay?"

The teacher only speaks to Yedam, not even looking in your direction or asking for your opinion. You understand his intentions, but it still upsets you a little...

Yedam looks at you instead, an expectant expression on his face. Although you find him extremely annoying, his look is enough encouragement to get you to speak, even though you're about to say a bunch of lies.

"But sir, I've actually been helping Yedam with his studies these days," you croak out, gaining more confidence with each word you speak.

"Have you?" the teacher asks, raising his brow.

"They have, and you'll be seeing my improved grades soon," Yedam says, nudging you with a smirk.

"Well... if that's true, then alright. I'd better see those improved grades," the teacher says.

Yedam bites his lip while grinning, clearly glad that he'll be allowed to sit with you. On the other hand, you sigh. Who knows what kind of trouble this will bring for you...

After that meeting, the two of you sit beside one another in your next class. You feel your heart beating rapidly in your chest as Yedam stares at you from your right. The rest of the class has their eyes on you, too, wondering why Yedam is still sitting beside you.

"Can you please... stop staring at me," you whisper under your breath.

"I don't want to," Yedam says with a smile, continuing to look at you while his head is being held up by his palm, elbow propped up on his desk.

"I bet that [y/n] somehow seduced Yedam. They may look quiet, but they might be the slyest person on this planet," a classmate suggests from behind you.

Yedam's chair screeches backwards from beside you and he stands up, his arms swinging slightly at his sides.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Yedam asks, turning around to the classmate who was speaking nonsense. His face looks extremely angry - you've never seen him like this before.

The classmate puffs up their chest, trying to look stronger than they really are.

"I said [y/n] seduced you! And what?"

"You idiot," Yedam hisses, taking a few strides forward and smacking them in the face.

Instead of fighting back, the classmate doesn't budge. They have their head down, slowly reaching their hand up to their injured cheek.

Yedam crouches down to the seated student to meet their eyes.

"[y/n] never seduced me and never will. We've all been classmates for so long, you still can't recognize one another? Stop the bullshit. If I hear this again, it'll be more than your face that'll be harmed, you hear me?"

"Yedam, that's enough," you say, tugging at the back of his uniform blazer.

He finally turns around after a while, greeting you with such a bright smile that you wonder if he's forgotten everything that just happened.

"So, [y/n], are you gonna help me study or what?" Yedam asks you, returning to his seat."

"What do you mean?" you ask, confused.

"The teacher is expecting improved grades, so of course we should show him that, shouldn't we?"

The way Yedam tilts his head to one side while smiling at you makes your breath falter for a second.

"I-I guess we should," you stutter. Why are you suddenly getting so nervous around a jerk like Yedam? No but firstly, why is he being so nice to you?

"Okay, everyone! Class is starting, get to your- what happened to Jeongwoo?" the teacher asks, pointing to the classmate who Yedam smacked.

Jeongwoo's cheek is red and he has some ice pressed up against it.

"Got hit by a baseball. He's never paying attention to the right things," Yedam says, shaking his head.

The teacher thankfully shrugs things off. If not, Yedam would have been in deep trouble.

You release the breath you didn’t realize you’ve been holding and Yedam pokes you with the eraser end of his pencil.

“Library after school today, okay?” he whispers. You nod.

Yedam watches you neatly pack up your things with his arms crossed, unconsciously smiling at the way you make sure everything is in the right part of your bag before you sling it over your shoulders and declare that you’re ready to go.

“You don’t mind taking a motorbike ride real quick, do you?” Yedam asks, glancing at you as the two of you walk down the hallway.

Shit. You’d forgotten that Yedam has a motorbike and takes the thing everywhere with him. Even though you’re a little scared to ride it with him, if that’s what he’s suggesting, you’re more scared to say ‘no’ to Yedam, so you simply nod.

Yedam is quick to notice the way you gulp, though, and how you nervously fidget with your hands as you walk, taking shaky steps.

They’re nervous... he tells himself. I’d better treat them well.

Yedam hands you his spare helmet. When you hesitate to take it from him, he places it over your head himself, knocking on it to show how protective it is.

“In case anything happens, I promise I won’t let you get hurt, okay?” he tells you, holding out his pinkie finger.

You let out a scoff at his unexpected childishness, but still loop your pinkie around his.

“I’m not scared, you know,” you exert, swinging your right leg around the motorbike as you take a seat behind Yedam.

“Sure.”

Before you can even blink, Yedam starts the motorbike and whizzes off. You’re forced to wrap your arms tightly around him out of fear, and he smiles under your warm embrace.

“You can just grab onto my blazer instead, you know,” he yells into the wind. You hear him, but pretend you didn’t. You’re too scared to move your hands right now.

After getting over some of the fear, you raise your head and admire the moving blue sky above you, the way the trees stand at the edge of the skyline and how the wind seems to surge through your veins as well as directly through you.

You don’t even realize you’ve arrived until Yedam tells you, helping you get off the bike. Regaining your senses, you stare at the glass building in front of you.

“Yedam... why are we here?” you ask him in shock. This mans really brought you to the library that’s on the other side of the city.

“I just wanted to enjoy a fun bike ride with you,” he mumbles, walking up the steps to the library.

Once the two of you find a spot, you don’t waste any time in getting right to work.

“So... what subject do you struggle with the most?”

“[y/n],” he mumbles.

“What?”

“Uh... math.”

“Okay... let’s get started with that, then.”

As you talk, Yedam loses focus, getting lost in the sweet tone of your voice, the way your hands move as you talk, and your precious lips.

“Yedam? What’s the answer to this question?” you ask, pointing to the equation you’ve written on the paper before you.

“Uh... I don’t know,” he admits.

You sigh.

“I just explained to you how you should solve this! Did you not understand or were you not listening?”

“Um... I kind of just want to kiss you right now,” Yedam mumbles under his breath, smiling up at you with a slightly reddened face.

“What? Yedam, you’ve been mumbling all day today and it’s been scaring me.”

“Scaring you? No no, I don’t mean to scare you-”

Both of your phones vibrate on the desk and you glance at one another. You check yours and find out it’s a message from the class groupchat.

Jeongwoo: guys guys! [y/n] and Yedam are at the library across town studying together! i’m telling you, something is up...

Junkyu: says who?

Jeongwoo: sent a photo.

When you look at the photo, it’s of you and Yedam at the very desk you’re sitting at right now. Suddenly, you feel anxious. Has someone been following you? For how long?

Yedam: whichever one of you hoes is following us better fucking stop before i show up at your house and set it on fire. istg please leave us the FUCK ALONE!

Jeongwoo: shit i didn’t mean to send this to the class groupchat...

Yedam slams his phone down and looks carefully around the library.

“I found him,” he whispers before getting up and running across the library. You try to follow his trail and find someone wearing your school uniform running away with Yedam chasing closely behind.

If a fight breaks out because of you, you won’t be able to forgive yourself... you rush after them and follow them to the parking lot, which is luckily quite busy. You know Yedam won’t start a fight in such a busy place...

“You asshole, did Jeongwoo set you up to this?” Yedam grunts, grabbing your classmate by his collar.

“N-no.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Yedam growls.

“Guys, please stop! This parking lot is full of people-”

“Leave me alone!” the boy yells at the top of his lungs. People start to stare and Yedam lets go of his collar, dusting himself off. The veins on his neck are visible, showing his anger.

“If you do anything like this again, you’ll be in for it,” Yedam says to the boy before he runs away.

“[y/n], I’m so sorry-”

“Yedam, if this is what it’s gonna be like for me to help you study then I don’t want to do it!”

“I know, but-”

“Yedam, I’m scared,” you admit, starting to tear up slightly.

Yedam doesn’t know what to do, so he just sadly watches you as you cover your face and try not to cry. Then, you feel his arms around you as he presses his body against yours.

“I’m sorry, [y/n], I just... I’m sorry for putting you in this situation but I just... wanted to spend some time with you and-”

“You call this spending time with me?!” you sob into his chest.

“I’ll make them pay...”

“No, Yedam. I’ve had enough of your revenge and violence and... I just want to go back to my quiet life. Even a day spent like this has been too much for me.”

Yedam pulls away and steps back.

“I’ll pack up my stuff from the library. Please don’t talk to me ever again.”

As you walk away, Yedam silently watches you, hating himself for the fact that his heart is breaking. Why is his heart breaking?

The next day, Yedam is in his usual spot somewhere behind you in class, trying to sleep with his head on the desk but being unable to because you still haven’t shown up and he’s worried.

The same thing happens the next day.

And the next.

At this point, you haven’t shown up for a week and Yedam is incredibly worried. He’s tried texting and calling you, but you haven’t replied. So he storms into the teachers’ office, demanding for your home address so he can visit you.

The teachers refuse for privacy reasons, but Yedam says he won’t leave the office until they give it to him, so they reluctantly do.

“You better not be going to bother [y/n] in any way, but to truly just visit them.”

“Do I look like I would bother [y/n]?”

“Yes.”

Yedam scoffs, leaving the office with your address in his hands. He leaves the school right then and there too, not caring about the rest of his classes for that day.

After an hour of getting lost on his motorbike searching for your home, he finally finds it. Slightly sweaty and incredibly tired, he knocks on your door, praying that you’ll open it.

“Who is it?” you sleepily ask, opening the door. Your first reaction is to slam the door shut as soon as you see Yedam, but he stops you.

“Please, [y/n],” he begs. “I’ve been searching for your house for an hour and I’m so tired... just let me in.”

Your pure and wholesome soul can’t say no to this, so you invite him in, quickly bringing him a glass of water.

“Why haven’t you been at school?”

“I think you know why,” you say, sitting on the couch next to Yedam’s.

“Because of me?”

You nod.

Yedam sighs.

“[y/n], you shouldn’t stop coming to school because-”

“The kids have stopped talking about us now, right? So I’ll come back, don’t worry.”

“Ah... right,” Yedam says with a sigh, running his hand through his hair.

“Why are you even... here?” you ask him.

“To check on you?” he says in a sarcastic tone, as if it should be obvious.

“Why?”

“Because I-” like you. He almost says it but stops himself, knowing that now is not the right time but also because what the heck?! He likes you?! Since when?! These feelings have been growing so fast on their own that Yedam can’t even keep up with them.

“Because?” you urge him.

“I was worried. Am I not allowed to be here?”

“That’s the thing, I don’t get why you would be worried.”

The truth is, you’re suspecting Yedam has developed feelings for you. You’re hoping it isn’t true, but you need to know. So you’re trying to get him to confess.

“I like you, [y/n], okay?! I know now isn’t the time but you keep putting so much pressure on me and I just...”

Your heart works harder than normal in your chest to keep blood flowing, and you wonder why. It’s not like you like Yedam or anything... right?

“I’m sorry, [y/n]. I’ll leave now,” he says, standing up and grabbing his helmet from where he left it at his feet.

Your heart races as you wonder if you should decide to do that thing you’re thinking about... should you... kiss him?

Ah, you don’t even like this jerk! Why would you do that?!

Exactly, why would you...? Why are you even considering this-

Before you know it, your body is moving on its own as you pull Yedam towards you and connect your lips to his. The sound of his helmet hitting the floor doesn’t hinder you from deepening the kiss as you realize that heck... maybe you really do like Yedam. Why else would you have butterflies?! You wouldn’t get butterflies from kissing someone you hate! Like you wouldn’t get butterflies from kissing trump-

okay sorry, i’ve lost myself here but i’m trying to say

the way Yedam is giving you butterflies is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before, and the way he wraps his arm around your lower back, holding you close makes you...

Yedam pulls away, panting slightly.

“[y/n], what the fuck?”

“Yedam... I think I like you, too.”

“You think?” Yedam teases you, grinning.

“What was that for, then?” he asks, pointing to his lips.

“Shut up,” you say, walking past him and purposely bumping into his shoulder.

He grabs your arm and whirls you back around to face him.

“Just how the heck did we end up liking each other?” he asks you. But after looking at you for even a second, he knows. You’re beautiful, and he realized this the day you helped him when he was injured in that empty school field.

I guess for you, somehow this idiot made his way into your life, and his repeated efforts to win your love somehow rubbed off on you. But still, no one can make your heart race like Yedam does.

“[y/n] is back!”

“Yedam is sitting next to [y/n] again?”

“Are they holding hands?!”

You and Yedam sit side by side in class, discreetly holding hands under the desk while sharing earbuds. Sure, the whole class will probably talk and spread rumours about you dating Yedam, but who cares? You’ve found someone you love now, and that’s all that matters.

“Okay, class, let’s start the lesson,” the teacher says, only stopping to show a thumbs up and a wink in your and Yedam’s direction.

“What was that?” you ask Yedam, who smiles.

“I guess he’s showing his support for our newfound relationship?”

261 notes · View notes

ficforthought · 3 years

Text

On being SO DONE with M*sha, a rant a decade in the making!

After giving this some thought I'm going to go ahead and give my opinion on Misha and yesterday’s situation in public for the first time ever. I was going to just post on Twitter but since this has been 12 years in the making I have exceeded the number of tweets I can put in one thread! There’s A LOT in here, so my summary is also long. I'm aware that I will lose followers over this, I'm not looking to offend anyone but it will inevitably happen. I wish anyone leaving all the best as fellow human beings.

TL;DR - having kept quiet for so long I’ve finally reached my limit and it’s all come bubbling out. I’ve never been a fan of Misha, I’ve been ambivalent for the most part, but have never criticised him in any hateful way, that's not who I am, but after all these years of putting up with his bullshit, attention seeking and troublemaking I am DONE. Deleting his tweet containing the word Wincest and replacing it with an APOLOGY just to pander to his Minions and save face is the straw that broke the camel's back. He has consistently pushed his ship on not only fans but on other actors (despite Jensen's discomfort, and him having repeatedly made his feelings known on it), he has stood by while his Minions/Hellers have harassed, victimised, doxxed and sent death threats to people based on their FICTIONAL ships. He has pandered to their gatekeeping, constantly demanded attention in obvious and not so obvious ways, and to the best of my knowledge never criticised their actions even though he's aware of it in a very real way. Some of his Minions have now taken their shit into The Boys fandom and created negativity for Jensen before the guy has even got a foot through the set door, and how is that supporting one half of your ship?

Misha has claimed to be a victim of targeted harassment from Wincest/brother fans (not only shippers) yet his fans have said and done the most despicable things on his watch, all in the name of what he must think is entertainment, or even his idea of a ‘joke’.

Any respect I had for the man based on his humanitarian work has gone because I can only take so much hypocrisy. He and his pandering because of a desperate attempt to be woke and wholly inclusive (which is actually impossible, no matter how good intentions are) are beyond pathetic. Whilst I have never seen why people think he’s so great I have friends IRL and online who genuinely adore the man, yet they have been shocked and upset by his contempt for half of the fandom that made him somewhat famous. It's disgusting and I'm not scrolling by any more. Misha, I hope to never see you on anything J2 related in future because none of us need that kind of negativity, *especially* not J2. Be gone, foul fiend!

OK, so to the too long part. Please be aware that these are my opinions as a fan of the show, of Sam and Dean, and J2, not only as a shipper. I can separate canon and fanon, and can view canon from a gen or shippy PoV. Whether you agree or disagree with my opinion let me be clear that I do not condone constant bashing and hate of a person or character so this isn’t the start of a regular thing for me. It's possible to have an opinion and not show the same vitriol that has been following this man around for years, and that’s what I’m doing. I've not posted this to prompt more negativity, it's simply to get it off my chest and make it clear how I feel. I stand by my philosophy of ship who you want to ship, enjoy it, but don't force it on other people and don't be a dick about it…hmm, that kinda sounds like familiar behaviour, though, does it not?!

I have ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE with other people liking Misha, Cas or Destiel when it’s for the love of the characters and the ship. What I *do* have an issue with is people who are the true definition of a Heller. I don’t see that as a generic term, don't be ignorant and think I do because I know the difference between actual ship fans and the crazies, both ships have ‘em and I want no part of either of their venom. If you are reading this and class yourself as a Heller then you are part of the problem so run along and as you are all so fond of saying, 'get help' and take your bestie king with you.

I’m stating my opinion in what I feel is the most mature way I can, because unlike many people on SM, I am an adult and can act accordingly, with forethought and without resorting to temper tantrums and bullying of other people to get my point across. I am able to tell the difference between reality and fiction, I don't tar everyone with the same shipper brush and I don't expect everyone to agree with my opinion, but as we know opinions are like arseholes, we all have them and sometimes they stink. Unlike some, for the most part in life (online and offline) I *do* stand by what I say and don’t backtrack or delete things to appease the masses. I have spent a lot of time writing this out to be as clear as possible without being intentionally hateful. Bear with me jumping between actor and character where relevant, at this point they're conjoined. I will say this before I go any further, it doesn’t end well for Misha, I don’t mince my words and if you don’t like seeing facts and opinions laid out, this isn't the post for you.

I’ll say right off the bat what most of you have surmised - I’ve never held Misha (or Cas) in high esteem but I have never *hated* on him. I have shared mild criticism of his actions and opinions on Cas over the years but never, I feel, in any way that has made me feel I have something to apologise for. I have said several times I've been unhappy about Misha crashing con panels, taking attention away from J2 when at those cons *most* people paid their hard earned money to see the STARS of the show they love, first and foremost, and anyone else is a very nice bonus. The odd appearance here and there crashing a panel is fine (and Misha isn’t the first or last person to do it), maybe take up a few minutes then leave, but when someone commandeers an entire panel, that's just not on. It's not only selfish, rude and attention seeking but also disrespectful to other actors, fans and to the organisers who work hard to make sure everything ties in to give us the best con experience we can have. Everyone gets their turn on stage, there's no need to try and hog any more of the limelight, Veruca Salt style. Oh, and if you’re reading this and not getting that reference, (a) you shouldn’t be on my blog because you’re far too young, (b) look it up, and if you still don’t get what I’m saying… well then please refer to point (a). Thank you, kindly!

There was a time in Kripke's era where Cas was - I feel - intentionally used as a pawn by the writers to divert *canon* from the ‘questionable’ relationship between Sam and Dean, i.e. Wincest focus. Prior to that people (other fans) lightened up and just accepted the fact that Wincest had been there since day one in terms of the writing of the show and the fandom. All the cast and crew knew - J2, Kripke and JDM in particular - and made light of it, never judging, never shaming and often encouraging it because they understand it’s a fun part of fandom. Wincest was present enough to be part of the not so subtle subtext, as I said people just accepted it. Kink tomato was alive and well, so was ‘don’t like, don’t read’ and we all just scrolled over things we didn’t like without turning everything into a personal vendetta and excuse for bullying others who didn’t share our views. When the angels came into the plot I think most of us Wincest fans gave the Dean/Cas innuendos the small laugh they deserved and then turned back to the focus of the show which was the brothers, as it had always been intended. Misha, however, milked those moments as much as possible which was amusing at the start but got old *very* quickly, not just for fans (shippers and non shippers alike), but for other actors, in particular Jensen who is on record MULTIPLE times showing his dislike for Destiel. He told people outright that's not how he was playing the relationship between the two characters and CATEGORICALLY said "Destiel doesn't exist" but did it end there? No, it did not because neither fans or Misha let it go, in fact Misha only pushed more, goaded fans into flogging the same dead horse as much as possible. He’s never stopped, not even when there was so much discord in the fandom, a huge wedge was driven into it because of ships, which IMO he heavily contributed to.

Fast forward to over a decade later (a decade, seriously man, let it fucking go!) he didn’t even stop when Destiel did partially go canon. I have never doubted that Cas loved Dean (Sam, too) because in SPN lore angels are made to love, even rebellious ones. I, along with many others, liked that about Cas because who doesn't love a rebel, especially one rebelling for very good reasons, and because of those two wonderful men? Sam and Dean allowed him to see beyond what he'd been brainwashed to believe his entire existence. The fact is that although the nature of that love changed for Cas, it never did for Dean and was CANONICALLY UNREQUITED because Dean was incapable of loving anyone else as much as he loved Sam. All that mattered to Dean, even when he saw other characters as "family" was still Sam…ALWAYS Sam, every step of the way. Again for those who have too much Misha shaped wax in their ears, that’s canon. Whether people choose to see that love platonically or romantically is up to them, soulmates don't always have to be romantic, either way, brotherly love won out above all else on the show. No amount of Misha screaming ‘hey look, Destiel!’ changed that, but it sure didn’t stop him trying, did it?

So now that the obvious has been stated, here's something else we all know - never once in all of the years on the show did Misha drop rallying of the troops to his precious, ego stroking ship. Never once (that I am aware of) has he called out his Minions and Hellers on their continued harassment of everyone involved in the show and other fans despite the fact that they have bullied, victimised and wished bodily harm, rape and death on people who don't see their ship and because didn't get the ending to the story that they wanted. Not once has Misha shown any remorse for the trauma his "fans" have caused, and I’m taking REAL trauma, here, not the kind Twitter stans see as ‘triggering’ - people have been driven to close SM accounts, attempted, and in some cases succeeded in taking their own lives. These Minions have openly mocked Jared’s struggles with depression and anxiety, and Misha - who claims to be friends with J2 and be supportive of them in every way - has stood by and let it all play out, knowing full well some of the goings on, if not the full extent of how toxic these people are. We know he sees things being said online, and I have absolutely no doubt he spends time online searching his name for things that are relevant in some way to him in an effort to insert himself into a current conversation, or even start one so that attention is on him. Gotta stay relevant, somehow, right, Mish?

He has actively encouraged bullying by his actions of enabling the behaviours above, both by the flogging of the aforementioned dead horse, AND by not objecting to unacceptable behaviours. Remember when Minions and Hellers were slating J2, particularly Jared, for not posting on SM about BLM and other topics? Yeah, he didn’t ask them to stop doing that, either, even when he was tagged in things along the lines of ‘If Misha can post why can’t J2?’ etc. There have been some token protests, con vids I've seen have show his 'objections' which IMO have been done in a very tongue in cheek way, meaning that those people who needed to be pulled aside and told to change their ways just carried on, because their evil overlord didn’t explicitly explain it in terms a three year old could understand that bullying and forcing your opinion on others is WRONG. Not all of his cult are young and impressionable, not by a long shot, but many of the more vocal and vitriolic ones are.

As a father himself I wonder what Misha would do if he found out that his kids were behaving in ways his Minions are? I’m aware they’re young, but kids are cruel and bullying doesn’t just happen online. Even at whatever age they are, would he laugh it off the way he appears to have done with all of this fandom toxicity? Not bloody likely! I wonder if he’s as desperate to gain the approval of his family, friends and colleagues as he appears to be for that of his Minions/Hellers? I would certainly hope so, but that question can only be answered by Misha, himself, and I can and will not presume to speak on someone else's behalf on things in their personal life. For the record I would never presume I know what J2's answers would be on anything, however I do feel that after 15 years I have an accurate gauge on what kind of people they are so would be confident that any opinion I had on a matter aligns with their morals and ethics. As much as J2 have shared of themselves with us - willingly and under no pressure to do so, I might add - we don't *know* them, but we know enough to have an informed opinion. I can’t say the same for Misha because based on the behaviour he’s repeatedly displayed, things I've heard about from other fans as well as people I know IRL who have had direct dealings with him through cons or GISH (including some very actively in the early days when it was GISHWHES) he just hasn’t seemed like a person I wanted to follow on SM. I’ve never watched any of his solo panels, though I have watched ones with both or one of the J's, mostly being left irritated because of his behaviour. Watching the J’s put up with that shit is painful, and it’s a testament to how good they are as actors that they managed to hide at least some of their disdain for as long as they did. Microexpressions give them away, particularly Jensen, and they certainly have faces I have spent many years watching closely. Beautiful faces to go with beautiful souls, both of them! <3

I have precisely ZERO interest in Destiel as a ship, very little interest in Cas as a character anymore (though I did like him in the early days,and his relationship with Jack in late seasons) so I have absolutely no reason or desire to follow anything Misha does. That said, I've obviously been peripherally aware of some things he's been involved in because of friends, from things I’ve seen on SM and general fandom stuff. Despite the things I've already mentioned about his behaviour, up until now I have been able to maintain a level of respect for him as a person because of the humanitarian and charity work he's done. He seems like someone who really does want to change the world for the better and I am in full support of that fact, so much so that I have supported TWO campaigns relating to him. I bought one of the Super Good t-shirts for the campaign he did with Michael Sheen (a true angel!), the SPN/Good Omens x-over to help homeless charities, and I chose the design with text only and not artwork of Michael and Misha on, basically because I didn’t want to be wearing something with Misha’s face on it and I make absolutely no apology for that, whatsoever. I also bought Alex's #TheEndHasNoEnd shirt, which some of the profits went to Random Acts who do great work, so again, despite not liking Misha I still willingly contributed for a cause bigger than me, and to support Alex, who I absolutely ADORE. I'm aware that Stands aren't popular with some of the fandom, however since most of the cast of SPN are happily affiliated with them then I don't feel it's my place to either judge, or to discuss topics I know next to nothing about. But I digress, as a decent human being I have shown support tangentially to a man who I don't care for out of respect for the work he does outside the fandom. Telling you this isn’t to paint myself in a good light - I don’t need your approval, I’m a big girl, unlike some I don’t need constant validation! - only to provide background on how I’ve actively *not* hated on Misha.

Now though, any respect I had for him has come to an abrupt end, the events of the past 24 hours has seen to that. Whilst I have been annoyed at his behaviour in regards to shipping, I don't feel it's ever gone this far, or at least not that I've seen first hand. This man has, IMO, contributed to so much toxicity in the fandom by way of things I've mentioned before, he's claimed - without actually saying the words - that Wincest fans weren't interested in him as a character when he came onto the show, and hasn’t felt included because of the fans’ love of the brothers. Um, hate to break it to you, love, but when you come onto an established show that is about two people, and you’re a *guest star* you can’t expect everyone to love you. Some characters we as individuals do fall in love with straight away (Bobby, Charlie, Crowley and Rowena are good examples for me), it takes time to establish a dynamic, so if that’s how he felt then it was incredibly naive of him as an actor to expect instant acceptance from anyone. Also, why wait until after the show finished to bring it up AGAIN … oh wait, yeah, that would be to step back into the limelight in a way intended to garner sympathy from Minions and INTENTIONALLY piss off bro fans and Wincest shippers alike? How fucking self centred, desperate and disrespectful do you have to be to shit all over the finale of a show that for the most part accepted you and kept you in paid work for 12 years? Well, Misha Collins levels of all of those things, obviously.

So, on the topics of self centred, desperate to stay relevant, attention seeking and being oh so needy, the tweet yesterday from Amazon mentioned Castiel. He wasn’t tagged in it, so I refer to my earlier comment about searching online, because how else would he have possibly seen that? It’s possible someone sent it to him, I appreciate that, but if we go off past behaviour it’s not any stretch at all to believe that didn’t happen. So, once again, having seen the tweet he took it upon himself to - oh so predictably - turn it into something relating to Destiel. When I saw it I immediately rolled my eyes and thought ‘here we go again’, but then also had a little smile because I really liked the fact that he explicitly mentioned Wincest, therefore seeming to accept that his poor old dead horse wasn’t the only one in the race. I actually mentally tipped my hat to him then because it appeared that he’s matured enough to acknowledge by name the ship that predates his inclusion on the show. Great, I thought, this is a positive thing in a sea of negativity surrounding the man and his sunken ship, because what followed was Wincest trending in the US (it may also have been other countries as well but I had to sleep!) … largely due to the fact that Hellers were responding to it, calling him out on mentioning the dreaded ‘W’ word. I’ll repeat that because it’s been a rare occurrence up to that point… the Minions were actually disappointed with their overlord for mentioning another ship. We all know what they think of it and I for one, don’t give a flying fuck about their opionion. Ship and let ship, it’s all fun (or meant to be) so we have different tastes, that’s life kiddiwinks, deal with it. I mean, you really don’t have much of an example set for you when your king has proven several times over to be one of the biggest obnoxious brats out there, but just give it a try for your own sakes, yeah? Awesome, good on you, besties!

An unexpected development - to my joy and that of other Wincest shippers - them doing that got the topic trending, only *kept* trending by the fact that were all coming online asking why it was trending. Wincest shippers barely lifted a finger, we just flooded each other’s timelines with lovely content and basked in the Hellers - and Misha - shooting themselves in the foot, which was awesome. But did the vitriol stop? No. Did he get the attention he so clearly craves? Yes. Was it in the way he wanted? Fuck no, so poor, emotionally wounded baby backtracked after seeing that his name was trending alongside Wincest because that’s *so* not what someone narcissistic to do it in the first place, wanted.

Now here’s where I could easily have just moved on with an unusually fond chuckle, giving him an ironic pat on the back and a ‘thanks, Misha’ for being the one to instigate hours of fun, but once again his despicable behaviour made that impossible. It’s been more than obvious for many years that he cares more about what his fans think than anything else to do with the show and the fandom in a larger sense, but to delete the tweet and APOLOGISE for daring to be so insensitive to the snowflakes’ delicate sensibilities for mentioning Wincest in the first place was absolutely disgusting. Stating , “I used a term that I had never really given any thought to other than, "that's a thing?! Yuck." is not only complete and utter bullshit, it’s pandering of the highest order.

We all know he has referred to Wincest on multiple occasions, so to say he hadn’t thought about is a flat out lie, which IMO is an insult to everyone, not just Wincest shippers. Does the man have no self respect at all, why would you contradict yourself in the face of such overwhelming evidence? Instead of either ignoring all the people calling him out, or addressing it with another tweet saying ‘yeah, that happened’ or something similar he chose, I repeat, CHOSE the route of claiming he didn’t realise he was being offensive to people who felt ‘triggered’ by him using the word Wincest. He basically shat all over an entire ship and large sector of the fandom in an attempt to appease his own fan base which consists of a lot of children (or those that act like children) who have no idea what RL is like.

Once again, he’s reinforced the idea that if you shout loud enough at someone just because you don’t like something they said, they will back down and apologise for something even when there’s nothing to apologise for. If he wants to be such a role model then he could easily have pointed out that a fictional ship doesn’t condone RL incest, any ACTUAL trauma people have suffered because of RL situations, and made an effort to make sure people understand that. He COULD have used it as an opportunity to do some good in the fandom by encouraging people to build bridges, to accept that people are entitled to their beliefs and that sometimes we see things differently but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat others with BASIC HUMAN DECENCY because of it. Instead he YET AGAIN chose to show that he cares more about what Minions think of him, keeping them onside to constantly stroke his unbelievably fragile ego in everything he does.

It is my understanding that Misha is big on (or claims to be big on) putting positive energy out into the world, treating people with respect, helping others and accepting people for who they are, not who you want them to be… all this after YEARS of consistently practising what he preaches only when it suits him. He sends out a message that it’s perfectly OK to bully, to spread hate, to draw attention to yourself at the cost of others, to throw colleagues and friends under the bus and at the same time use them to further your own agenda and get hits for your YouTube channel. Is this really the legacy he wants to leave? Is this an environment he wants his own kids to grow up in as well as future generations? Is this what he thinks is a valuable contribution as a human being? JFC, the arrogance, hypocrisy and the need for constant validation this man exhibits is nothing short of cringeworthy… actually it’s beyond that. It’s deplorable behaviour, it’s not new, and he will continue to act like this for as long as he’s being enabled and this harmful cycle needs to end.

I have friends IRL and online who are (now, possibly, were) big Misha fans, who have supported him from either the beginning of his run on the show, or since they started watching, and this is how he repays this behaviour? He’s willfully alienating decent people (including multishippers) all to make himself look good by being seen to do everything he can not to offend people. Spoiler alert, you DID offend people, you continue to do so time and again and we’ve had enough. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be such a perpetual people pleaser, but let me say it’s not doing you any favours in any way, shape or form.

Misha, you are *not* a role model, you’re *not* someone to look up to when you can't live up to the ideals you preach. You’re spitting in the face of people who have supported you even after some questionable things in the past, who gave you the benefit of the doubt because we’re all human and we all make mistakes. The key to growing as a person is not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, understanding *why* what you said and/or did was a mistake and making a concerted effort to make changes. I don’t ever see you doing that, you will continue down this path of only caring about Minions under the guise of caring for people in general. You are transparent, you are sad and despite the fact I’ve never particularly liked you, I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to get involved in the drama. Well now I have spoken up and I’m saying you’re a disgrace, you have no respect for other people and nobody is fooled anymore. If it hadn’t been this tweet it would have been something else, but I for one am glad it happened so soon after the show ended so we can finally be rid of the limpet-like behaviour. It’s over, let it go for the sake of what dignity you might have left, for the sake of your family and friends and for the sake of anyone who isn’t capable of seeing through your ‘it’s a joke’ mentality.

You have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found wanting. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Misha.

For anyone who made it to the end of my ramble, thank you. This has been a cathartic exercise and I’m drawing a line under it now, I don’t think I could possibly make my thoughts any clearer. I urge you not to get caught up in any petty squabbles with his Minions, let’s celebrate J2 and other cast and crew members who have shown us all respect and who I am proud to call part of the SPN family. There’s always one member of the family who needs to be frozen out for the good of everyone else.

#ficforthought speaks #sorry not sorry #i spent way too long on this #purging the poison

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ptergwen · 4 years

Text

4 times peter loved you and 1 time he said it

warnings: angst, swearing, and flash being a dickwad (love him tho)

a/n: i wasn’t sure if i would ever finish this bc i started in march? and gave up but i really like the concept so i made myself get back into it and AHH i’m really happy with how it turned out! fingers crossed y’all like too ahaha. also this is unrelated but send me requests!

to say you and peter were each other’s missing halves would be an absolute understatement. there wasn’t a secret you didn’t share, an inside joke you didn’t have, a text or call left unanswered, or a second you weren’t on the other’s mind.

it had been like that since your first day of freshman year. you took the seat next to peter in first period spanish, and the rest was history.

peter knew you better than you knew yourself. as cheesy as it sounded, it was true. he could guess what you were going to order at a restaurant before you picked up the menu. if you had a bad day, he’d come over to your place with tissues and hugs, without you having to ask. he knew all the little things.

you? you were a peter parker encyclopedia. you watched all his favorite movies so he could rant to you about them, and you’d actually understand what he was saying. whenever he felt overwhelmed by his chaotic life, you found a way to calm him.

you two were soulmates in best friend form.

best friends, nothing more.

♡ 1.

you had an arm around peter’s neck as you picked at some fruit on his lunch tray. his head was resting comfortably against your cheek, whole body leaning on you. impromtu cuddle sessions weren’t unusual for the two of you. they worked in both of your favors. peter was your own personal heater, and you were just really comfortable to nap on, in his opinion.

“are you gonna eat all my grapes? i was looking forward to those,” peter whined, taking one out of your hand. “are you gonna keep using me as a pillow?” you challenged. he responded by moving his head to your shoulder and chewing. “then, yes. i am gonna eat all your grapes.”

“you know what two people who share food are?” ned chimed in from across the cafeteria table. already knowing what he was implying, you sighed. “what, ned?” he cupped his hand over his mouth like he was about to spill the world’s biggest secret. “a couple.”

it wouldn’t be a regular day without ned trying to play matchmaker for you and peter. the idea made peter scoff. “leave us alone, man. that doesn’t even make sense.” “yes it does!” ned nudged mj for backup. she only raised her hands in defense. it was always a hard pass from her on getting involved in these types of things, unless she found a reason to.

“really? how?” you grabbed peter’s milk and took a sip just for the hell of it. he chuckled at that, forgetting he was supposed to be annoyed with you. a bit of milk dripped down your chin in the process. “oops,” you grimaced at yourself and licked it away.

something about the whole thing made peter’s heart clench. it was so... you were so... cute. cute was definitely the word he was looking for. wait, what? that was new. peter had always thought you were pretty and all, but he’d never found himself endeared like this over such a little thing you did. or had he? no. nope. it was ned’s stupid theory messing with him. that was all.

“y/n, dude, everyone knows it’s a thing. like, why else would someone give up their whole lunch? it’s flirting,” ned interrupted peter’s sudden thoughts about your cuteness. the smug look on his face made you want to throw the tray at him.

before you even joined their friend group, ned was on a mission to set the two of you up. peter described you to him and mj as “the actual sweetest girl ever. she makes me laugh a lot. you guys gotta meet her.” mj obviously ‘tsked’ at him, but a light bulb went off in ned’s head. peter was crushing. he just didn’t know it yet.

part of how you and peter got so close was that ned and mj used to back out of group plans. you’d end up hanging out alone most of the time. of course, it was ned’s idea. a successful idea, yes, but neither of you understood the obsession. apparently it was a guy in the chair’s duty to be a good wingman, and you should leave it to him. whatever that meant.

“if i remember correctly, you and your mom went halfsies on a piece of cake at your birthday party last year. what are you trying to tell us, leeds?” mj asked with a smirk. you and peter looked at each other and burst into laughter, ned’s mouth hanging open. the girl could really get someone when she wanted to.

“shut up, you guys! that’s different!” “so is y/n stealing my food and you calling it sharing,” peter made a point of saying more to you than ned. despite his words, he pushed the tray over to you. it was basically yours, anyway.

you thanked him with a pat on his cheek and popped more grapes into your mouth. in that moment, peter decided he’d get you all the grapes in the world if he could. jeez, he seriously needed to reel it in.

ned was only going to keep going now. “see that? peter’s such a sweet boyfriend. isn’t he, y/n?” he cooed and clasped his hands under his chin. you didn’t have the chance to change the topic before flash appeared at your table. he’d probably overheard your conversation. “penis parker is somebody’s boyfriend? good one.”

feeling peter tense up next to you, you put a hand on his shoulder to let him know you were there. you’d been in too many of these situations. the way flash talked to peter pissed you off in ways you didn’t think were possible. he was fine with everybody else, so why did he choose to pick on him? peter was the least deserving person of having to put up with it from anyone.

“just ignore him, okay? he’ll get bored and leave. works every time,” you reminded peter. too uneasy to say anything, he reached back and put his hand on top of yours. he tried to focus on how nice your touch felt instead of the fact that he was about to be humiliated by flash yet again.

“peter could totally get a girlfriend! he has, like, tons of girls after him,” ned attempted to back peter up, pleased with himself. groaning, peter put his head down on the table. he couldn’t bare to watch his friend destroy what was left of his social life. “you’re really pushing this now. stop talking,” mj warned in a whisper yell to ned. that didn’t stop flash from hearing her.

“she’s right. even parker agrees! look at him,” he snickered at peter’s embarrassed state. you’d had more than enough of him at that point. screw the silence. it wasn’t going to cut it for this one. while wingman ned was still making up stories, you tapped peter’s shoulder to find out how he was doing. his head remained down.

“you okay? want me to say something?” “i’m used to it, and no. i don’t wanna make you deal with him.” peter hated putting his issues on other people, but you couldn’t stand another second of listening to the things flash was saying. you cut into an argument between him and ned about peter’s body count. like his was any higher.

“fuck off, flash!” he stopped in the middle of his sentence. “huh?” “i said fuck off. anyone would be so lucky to date peter. you’re probably salty at him all the time because it’ll never be you,” you finally snapped. his tough guy persona faltered for a few seconds at your words, ned and mj taking the opportunity to high five you for telling him off.

peter was glad his head was still down because his cheeks were pinker than he’d like to admit. did you really mean that? would you be lucky to date him, too?

“what are you, president of the parker protection squad? or are you two a thing?” flash quickly recovered. there he went trying to get the last word in. the embarrassment for peter if you denied it was exactly what he wanted, but you weren’t letting him have it.

“ask me again some other time.” you plastered on a shit-eating grin and waved goodbye. unsatisfied with your answer, flash huffed his way back to his own table. after he was gone, peter looked up at you with something you’d never seen before twinkling in his eyes.

“thank you, y/n. you really didn’t have to say all of that.” “oh, no. don’t thank me. i‘d do it for you anytime. i am president of the parker protection squad, after all.” your fake smile turned into a genuine one for him. peter couldn’t help but mirror it.

his was heart doing that thing again. he guessed it was because he loved you so much, but this love felt different somehow. it wasn’t the friend kind of love he’d had for you all those years.

it was the kind of love he saw in the rom coms you made him watch when you got to pick for movie night. cupid’s love was the official name for it. when he put two and two together, the realization smacked him straight in the face. ned was right.

peter was starting to fall in love with you, and there was no way he could stop.

♡ 2.

peter was a workaholic. patrolaholic to be exact, especially when he had a reason. he’d sometimes find himself in a cycle of getting home late and going out early for days on end. he’d gotten used to the sleep deprivation. his grumbling stomach from missing meals wasn’t too big of a deal either. not when he had a city to save.

it was also a good distraction from everything else going on in his life. man, did he need a distraction. after peter came to terms with the fact that he loved loved his best friend, he narrowed it down to two options; telling you about his feelings or taking them to his grave. since the city was so busy, he was thankful he could throw himself into patrolling and not decide just yet.

may would usually only allow peter to patrol on weekends. school existed, and he had to take breaks. peter really wanted to help out more, so he proposed an idea that could potentially let him up it to the full seven days. he had to make it home in one piece every night for a trial week. that would prove to may he could handle it.

ignoring his black eye on tuesday and limp on thursday, it worked out. peter was positive he could finish off the week just fine. may didn’t have the same optimism. she decided that so much as a scratch on friday and it was strike three. friday came, and peter had impressively managed to end the day, like he thought, just fine.

he did one last swing around the neighborhood he was in, then started heading back to queens to gloat to may. on his way, he remembered he had to text you goodnight. he was bound by a pinky swear to you that he would do it every time he finished patrolling.

peter being spider-man was something you figured out only a few months after he got his powers. he technically exposed himself, and you pieced everything together. it all happened when spider-man offered to walk you home from school one day.

the way he rubbed the back of his neck while asking was a nervous habit that was oddly familiar, and urged you to say yes. you also thought it was strange how even though he didn’t ask for your address, he somehow knew where he was taking you. then again, he was spider-man. it was his job to know new york city and the people living in it.

you came to the conclusion you were making things up until he was about to leave. he walked you to the door of your apartment building and said, “stay safe, squirt.” nobody called you that besides peter. he came up with it because he had recently grown a few inches taller and could finally give you hell for being the short one.

needless to say, peter didn’t take off like he was intending to. he realized his slip up as soon as the nickname came out of his mouth. you brought him upstairs and had a long afternoon of questioning, explanations, and making promises.

peter typed out a message telling you he was fine and to go to sleep. as he was about to hit send, he swung too low and smacked his head right into a traffic light. that was what he got for texting while swinging. he could imagine mj giving him one of her famous safety lectures already, but that wasn’t first on his list of worries. he had a throbbing head and may’s third strike to deal with.

crap, may couldn’t know about this. she’d ban him from patrolling probably forever. going home was out of the question, but peter was in desperate need of an ice pack. there was already a bump forming from where the light hit him. his next choice would be to go to happy, only he couldn’t do that because he‘d tell may.

peter’s hands worked faster than his brain, and he started swinging over to your apartment. the overthinking began soon after. nobody wants to deal with a surprise appearance from their possibly concussed friend at 2 a.m. besides, what would he say? he’d barely seen you all week. it wasn’t fair to you, but it was too late to turn back.

peter landed on the sidewalk with an “oof” and crawled up the wall of your building. when he reached your window, he knocked in the same rhythm that he always did. no answer. he knocked louder. no answer again.

seeing as he had no other option, peter had to let himself in. he pushed on your window to see if it was unlocked. thank god it slid up then, but he made a mental note to remind you about keeping it locked another time. he climbed through the window with as little noise as possible so your family wouldn’t hear.

after navigating in the dark, peter pulled off his mask by the side of your bed. he instantly melted at the sight of you. your face was squished into your pillow, hair sprawled everywhere. you’d must have fallen asleep waiting for his text because you were holding your phone. peter was sure he’d never seen something so adorable.

he let himself stand there and watch the peaceful rise and fall of your chest. the bump on his head was no longer a priority. peter was utterly and completely entranced with you. god, why was he acting like this? oh, right. he was secretly in love with you.

before peter could help himself, he brushed some hair that had fallen into your eyes away with his fingers. you squirmed in your sleep, peter pulling his hand back. he was such an idiot sometimes. your eyes fluttered open and landed on him.

“peter? ‘s that you?” you squinted to see in the darkness of your room. he moved closer. your legs dangled over the bed as you slowly sat up. “yeah, it’s me. sorry to wake you.” he went to scratch his head out of nerves, but stopped when he remembered it really freaking hurt right there.

“‘s okay. i was hoping you’d come over soon. missed you all week.” you frowned at the red and blue clad boy in front of you. except for school, you hadn’t seen peter the past few days. “lots of crime to fight lately?” “missed you more, and yeah. been kicking lots of asses.” the awkwardness peter was imaging faded away when he plopped down next to you on your bed.

“how’s your eye doing? and the limp?” you turned his head towards you by his chin. he exhaled in relief. “getting better, i think. now that we’re talking about injuries...” the sleepiness was knocked out of you. you all but leapt to your feet and turned on the lamp by your bed. peter had a feeling you’d slightly freak.

“we’ve been making small talk and you’re hurt? what happened, peter?” “i-i sort of, um, i was texting you and swung into a traffic light.” “oh my god, where?” he pointed at his forehead with a weak smile. surely enough, there was a big bump. you gasped. “please don’t be mad at me.” “i’m not mad at you. just feel bad it was kinda my fault. do you think you have a concussion?”

you weren’t sure what to do beyond the mostly useless first aid videos they played in gym class. being an avenger, peter had had his share of experience with wounds. whenever he came to you hurt, he talked you through how to help him. the most you’d ever dealt with was a few particularly deep cuts. this was not the same.

“i‘m not sure. you could try that finger thing?” he suggested. you crouched down in front of him. “good idea. let’s do that.” as you waved your index finger back and forth and peter’s eyes followed it seemingly well, his mind was elsewhere. he was thinking about crawling into bed with you and sleeping in your arms.

“well, you passed or whatever they say. i’m pretty sure you don’t have a concussion. you’ll heal fast because of... you know.” you stood up and mimicked the way he shoots his webs. peter chuckled quietly. your thumb ran lightly over his bump, making him wince. “how bad does it feel?” “on a scale from one to ten it’s, like, a five and a half.”

although not what you wanted to hear, it was manageable. you hoped so, at least. “i’m gonna go get some stuff. change into comfortable clothes.” “yes, doctor y/n.” peter saluted you. you were happy to see he still felt up to joking around. biting your lip to hold back a smile, you made your way to the kitchen.

peter searched through the spare clothes he’d left here over the years. there were so many, you had to give him a drawer. he changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt, then sat back down criss cross on your bed.

you came in shortly after with a water bottle, two advil, and an ice pack wrapped in a towel. “i was kidding about the whole doctor thing, you know.” “too bad.” you handed him the advil and water. “take these. they’ll help until your magic healing powers kick in.” peter took the pills while you pressed the ice pack to his bump. he took it from you when he was finished.

“is that any better?” “much better. i’m all good. i should probably go soon.” he mumbled, not meaning it but also not wanting to overstay his welcome. you’d already done so much for him. you stopped him from getting up by putting a hand on his chest.

“what? you already changed, and i’m not sending you home to get killed by may. just stay.” “are you sure? i don’t wanna bother you anymore. it was annoying for me to come here so late in the first place.”

a frown set on your face. “peter, don’t you remember my promise?” there was a beat of silence while he thought about it. “that you’d help out with spidey stuff?” “however and whenever i can. i don’t know what made you think differently just now, but nothing’s gonna change that. doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of the night or early in the morning. i’m always here.”

only you could reassure him just like that. peter was really lucky to have you. really, really lucky.

“right. you’re right. sorry for... whatever that was.” “you apologize too much.” you poked his chest to punctuate your statement and switched the light off. “sorry for that, too,” he teased, wanting a reaction from you. “peter benjamin parker, just get in the bed.” “yes, ma’am.” that was enough before you changed your mind and threw him out.

you rolled to lay on the other side of peter. still pressing the ice pack to his head, he laid down next to you. it didn’t take long for both of you to be settled under the covers. “try not to bang into the wall or something,” you joked and pulled your comforter up to your chin.

peter puffed some air out of his cheeks, tugging more of it back. “you can’t be mean and hog the blanket.” “it’s my bed, so i actually can. i’ll hog everything.”

to prove your point, you moved over to peter until there was no room between you. both of you knew it was an excuse to cuddle. he wasn’t mad about it at all. peter opened an arm for you. you curled into his side, letting him hold you close. his whole body relaxed as you hugged him against you. “goodnight, spidey.” “night, squirt.”

♡ 3.

“what does that cloud look like to you?” you pointed up at the sky. peter’s eyes darted around as he tried to find exactly which one you were talking about. there were a lot of them, in his defense. you made a big circle with your finger around the cloud in question.

“the really curvy one. right there.” “kinda looks like a tiger. can we keep walking now?” peter tugged your arm linked in his in an attempt to move you from the spot you’d randomly stopped in. he made a whiny noise when you didn’t budge.

“i think it looks more like a horse, and no. why are you in such a rush?” furrowing your brows at him, you tightened your grip on his arm. “because some people don’t like cloud watching, grandma.” “i only asked you about one! i’m just... trying to get the most out of today.”

with college around the corner, you and peter both had a lot to do and a little bit of time to get it done. your only hangouts had become some shared extracurriculars and weekly study group with your other friends. trying to binge watch your shows together on facetime hadn’t been easy, for one thing. you fumbled to keep your phone up more than you payed attention.

on a more serious note, being apart sucked majorly. it was going to be this times a million when you would inevitably have to split up in a few months. thinking about it for too long usually made you cry.

peter was struggling in other ways. his more than a friend feelings for you were only getting stronger. having all that love and not being able to give it to you was hurting like hell, and he had to just pack everything up and act normal during the rare moments you were together. you were both going through it.

this was the first sunday in what felt like forever that you and peter were both free. you decided that the nice weather called for a meetup at central park. so, there you were, arm in arm on your afternoon stroll.

“don’t say it like that, y/n. you’re making me sad.” peter let out a breath as you rested your head on his shoulder. “that was the point.” you started walking again, peter following next to you. he kicked at pebbles while you smiled up at him. that made him smile at his feet. you were getting really good at making him flustered.

“so, did you finish that pre calc packet?” peter asked to distract himself. you lifted your head off his shoulder with a groan. “peter, we’re not talking about school for once. let’s talk about literally anything else.” “like what?” you were about to make a suggestion, but something caught your attention.

you raced over to a swingset, dragging peter along with you before he could realize where you were taking him. you stopped in front of it and threw your hands up to present it to him. he let out a breathy laugh. “when was the last time you went on one of these?” you asked, taking peter’s arm again. peter shook his head. “way too long ago.”

with a smile, you walked him over and took a seat on one of the swings. peter sat on the one next to you. you spun around in a circle to see how much you could twist the chains, peter laughing. “y/n, what are you doing?” “having fun. you should try it sometime.” he backed up to get himself started and grabbed his own chains. “i do have fun. it’s just not in the ways you think.”

you untwisted yourself to watch peter. “so, how?” “well,” he started going higher, “i like learning about stuff, even the things we have to in school.” “everybody knows that. that’s the first thing i thought of.” you did know everything possible about him.

everything except his new feelings for you, but this wasn’t the time for him to blurt that out. he was still figuring out when or if he should.

“guess i’m not gonna say i like movies, either.” “singing?” you were swinging next to him, turning it into an unspoken competiton for who could get the highest. peter slowed down a bit since he’d had a head start. “i suck. the only person who’s allowed to hear me is you.”

“it’s possible to suck at something and still enjoy it.” the breeze blew your hair around, peter seeing it from the corner of his eye. he’d always loved how carefree you were around him. it rubbed off.

“remind me to force you to do karaoke one day.” “you’re so annoying.” that motivated you to kick off harder on the ground. peter huffed and tried to catch up to you. “don’t be mean to your only source of fun.” if that wasn’t true, he would’ve came up with a comeback.

the only time peter remembered to relax was when he was with you. it was usually because you reminded him. he skidded to a stop on the swing and looked up at you.

“why’d you let me win? was that too mean?” you looked over your shoulder. “nah, i just got tired.” “oh. we can do something else now. catch me?” “sure,” peter chuckled and got off the swing. he stood in front of you on the grass and waited for you to get lower. you clenched your teeth into a nervous smile.

“ready?” “ready.” swinging towards him, you jumped off and expected to land in his arms. you ended up completely on top of him instead.

the wind was knocked out of both of you, but peter had it worse because he broke your fall. your hands were on his shoulders and one of his was around your lower back. neither of you realized the position you were in. you were too busy trying to breathe again.

“god, that hurt.” “my bad,” peter mumbled. in any other circumstance, he wouldn’t be complaining about this. “i should’ve warned you or something,” you dismissed him.

you were still hovering over peter, your lips dangerously close to his. he could’ve sworn they almost touched. that was when you got off of him. he only forced out a laugh. nothing ever went his way. you offered him a hand, oblivious to his inner conflict. peter took it and pulled himself up, falling into step next to you as you headed to another path.

that could’ve been a chance to make some sort of move, and he blew it.

♡ 4.

it hadn’t been easy for peter to move on from that day. his mind kept replaying the split second you almost kissed on an endless loop, and all he could do was come up with what he should’ve done in the moment.

things were getting to a point where he had no clue how to act around you. being your friend was hard, but becoming your boyfriend would be that much harder. his stupid feelings put him in an awkward place, and he was afraid you were starting to realize. he couldn’t lose you altogether.

you asked peter to meet you for coffee after school. it was this small place in between your apartments you’d both been to once before. they had really good cookies and an overall cozy feeling you liked. peter wasn’t sure what this was all about.

were you going to confront him? did ned say something? maybe it was a mistake to confide in his most gossipy friend about how he felt.

with a headache from stress and a heavy backpack hanging off his shoulders, peter walked into the café. he spotted you at a table near the window. you’d already taken the liberty of ordering, two drinks and a chocolate chip cookie waiting there. you looked up from your phone when peter pulled a chair out.

“hi.” you gave him a small smile and put your phone down. “i already got everything.” peter shrugged off his backpack with a grin. he sat down facing you. “thanks. sorry i’m kinda late. i had to stop at my locker.” you usually met him there. come to think of it, why hadn’t you today? you pushed peter’s drink over to him. “you’re fine. i came here early to get us a table, anyway.” phew.

peter bent the straw to his iced macchiato and took a sip. it made him feel grown up, casually drinking coffee with you over a boring conversation. adult life must’ve sucked. “so, how was the rest of your day?” he asked to fill the silence. you only had two classes without him after lunch, so that was a dumb question. he’d never had so much trouble talking to you.

“eh. betty fell asleep on me during this cold war documentary we had to watch.” “didn’t she say american history is her favorite?” you broke off a piece of the cookie with a laugh. “not after that. what about your day?” the light from the window was shining directly on you, blocking out everything else from peter’s view. he wanted to tell you how beautiful you were so bad, but that would be creepy.

you took a bite of your cookie and raised an eyebrow. he was staring. “uh, nothing interesting. i’m gonna patrol a little bit later.” peter sipped his drink again. you clicked your tongue and let out a breath. “that’s all you do these days.” he knew you were catching on to how off he’d been. what was he supposed to say? it would’ve helped if he’d prepared a few excuses.

“just trying to help out while i’m still here.” that was a half truth. “yeah, but you should still take some time for yourself.” you ripped open your straw wrapper and blew it at peter. he caught it just before it hit his face. rolling your eyes, you put the straw into your drink. “i hate your reflexes sometimes.” he shrugged one of his shoulders casually. “jealousy is a disease.”

neither of you said anything for a few minutes. you stared out the window while peter finished the rest of the cookie. he could tell something was on your mind. whenever you were deep in your thoughts, you sort of zoned out like this.

he was too nervous to ask you what was wrong because of the conversation you just had. it sounded like you had already considered he was being distant before today. his feelings aside, he needed to reassure you. that was more important.

“y/n?” you turned your head to look at him. “yeah?” peter’s gaze shifted from you to his thumbs twiddling in his lap. “i know we’ve both been really... busy lately, but i’m still here. don’t forget that.” a hint of a smile played on your lips. you would’ve hugged him if you could reach. “thank you, peter. i kinda needed to hear that.” he nudged your leg under the table. “of course. hey, you wanna come with me tonight?”

a couple of hours later, you were in peter’s arms on a rooftop that was much higher up than it looked. he insisted on taking you for a swing so you could get the full experience. he’d been trying to get you to do this for the longest time, so he wondered what made you agree today. you wanted to find out what was so enjoyable about it.

“i trust you, but you’re not gonna drop me, right?” your legs were around his waist, and he had one hand supporting you by your back. that wasn’t terrifying at all. you grabbed peter’s shoulders, the idea of it making you nervous. he wrapped his arm tighter around you.

“oh my god, no. i can always web you back up.” “peter! that’s not funny.” even behind the mask, you could tell he was smirking. “you’re always safe with me, squirt. don’t worry.” you brought your arms up to loop around his neck.

“i feel better now.” “good. i’m gonna jump when we get to the edge, okay?“ your whole body stiffened up. peter could sense it. as excited as he was to share this with you, he didn’t want to make you feel pressured. “or we don’t have to do it.” his voice was quiet. you tried to relax in his hold. “i’m just gonna close my eyes. i think that’ll help.” “we’re about to find out.”

peter started walking towards the edge of the building with you holding on even tighter to him, your eyes squeezed shut. he kept finding himself in situations where he was close to you in the ways he’d been wishing for, but never for the same reasons. it was bittersweet.

he bit down on his lip and aimed his free hand at a building. you squealed when he leaned back. “i’m jumping now,” he prepared you, and before you could respond, you were in the air. you hid your face in peter’s chest the second you felt yourself pretty much flying.

“what the fuck, you like this?” you had to yell so he could hear you. peter shot another web to keep swinging. “it’s really not that bad! try looking up!” he shouted back, clearly amused.

grip tightening around his neck, you slowly pulled your face away from him. he kept you close as he swung. you somehow convinced yourself you weren’t going to die by looking at something besides peter. your eyes landed on the sky behind his head.

the sun was almost completely set, deep pink and orange merging together against the glowing lights of the city. you were finally understanding why he liked this so much. it was beautiful.

peter peeked at you for a second to check on you. he swore his heart was going to explode out of his chest. the look of adoration on your face, it was even better than the view. it was the view. the little moments where peter got to see you this way made him realize how in love with you he really was.

“this is... wow. i get it now,” you laughed in disbelief, watching as the city whirled past you. peter smiled so big it hurt. “pretty awesome, huh?” one of your hands slid back down to his shoulder. “take me with you more often.”

♡ 5.

peter licked his lips out of habit as he held the door open for may, who was following behind him with a look of pride. he was about to graduate high school. the ceremony was being held in a really nice stadium-like place. trying to find it added minutes on to the parker tradition of being late to everything important.

peter wasn’t as concerned with his tardiness as he was with finding you.

while he tossed and turned in bed the night before, he went over his whole school year in his head. that meant little things and big things. he was starting to drift off until he remembered a conversation with ned a few weeks back. they decided on a deadline for peter to tell you about his feelings, and it was before graduation.

they chose it because if peter got rejected, he’d be over it by the time college started. that was the goal.

it wasn’t that peter had changed his mind. it was that he completely forgot. he didn’t have a solid plan for what he should do. these things needed to be decided way in advance. he ended up pulling something together last minute because it was you. plus, this extra pressure gave him the push to go through with it. somewhere between steps seven and eight, he passed out.

may rushed him to get ready because he’d slept past his alarm. the whole morning was a mess, and he had at most fifteen minutes to confess his love to you by the time he got there.

“you should go make sure you’re marked here. i’ll see you after. love you.” may pressed a kiss to his cheek and half-jogged to the auditorium for a seat. he squeezed her arm and headed off to check in. your whole grade was already lined up along the walls for what looked like miles. the deal was to tell you before graduation. he still had about ten minutes.

peter walked past hundreds of students with his heartbeat thumping in his ears. everyone was in alphabetical order, so it didn’t take too long to find you. relief washed over you when you saw peter. you were worried he wouldn’t show up at all. his cap was in his hand, hair getting tangled from running his fingers through it. he looked at you with pleading eyes.

“finally, i’ve been trying to call you all morning. where were you?” your tone was dripping with concern. “i overslept. there’s something i gotta tell you, y/n.” he gulped. you smiled in a way that was kind of pitying. “we’re about to start going inside. i- you have to wait, pete. go get lined up.”

this wasn’t how it was going to end. not again.

he looked around to see who was watching, then he grabbed your wrist. “peter, what are you-“ “just come with me really quick.” despite yourself, you let him lead you down the hallway. you dodged a couple of teachers having a conversation and went into a bathroom that was vacant by some chance. he let go of you after the door shut. you stood behind it while he walked over to a sink.

it was making you anxious to not be out there. you could be late. peter was the same way when it came to school, so you knew this had to be pretty serious. you gave up the battle with yourself and made your way over to him. he was looking at himself in the mirror, trying to get a stray curl back in place.

“let me help.” you stood next to him. he turned to face you, that same look of urgency still in his eyes. you used two fingers to brush through his hair. there was so much gel that it was wet enough to mess with. you smiled a bit and took your hand out of his hair. his hand was gripping the sink.

“you look good, pete. you smell good, too.” “so do you.” his voice was lower than usual. you flattened out the material of your blue gown. “thanks. so, talk to me. what’s up?”

the question was so simple, but way too many answers were running through peter’s brain. he wasn’t even sure he’d have enough time to explain everything now. this was why he needed a written out and carefully crafted plan.

but, like he said to himself last night, this was you. his best friend in the entire world and any other that might exist. the person who’s been there for his most embarrassing moments, and who’s been responsible for some of his best ones. if he couldn’t finally say the three words he’d said to you so many times before, what was the point?

his fingers drummed a steady rhythm while he mustered up the last remaining bit of courage in him. you watched him expectantly, waiting for him to say something. “just, um...” he was stalling. he pulled his hand off the sink. “i... love you.” peter only glanced at you for a second, too afraid to see your reaction. “i love you, too. is everything okay?” his heart sank. you thought he meant it in the friend way.

that was what he got for being so terrible with words.

“no, y/n. not like that.” he blurted. you were lost. peter pressed his back against the wall and sat down. confused and equally worried, you sat next to him on the floor. “then what do you mean? you’re scaring me.” he checked the watch may made him wear to see how much time was left before graduation. four minutes. he really should’ve woken up on time.

“we have to get back in line soon. i don’t wanna miss-“ “i love you, y/n. i’m in love with you.” a weight that had been on peter’s chest for months was lifted just by saying it. you squinted your eyes at him, but said nothing.

“i’ve been trying to tell you for a while, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. i just had to say it.” “fuck, are you serious?” you sounded what peter could only describe as disappointed. yeah, it was unrequited. here came a summer of crying. “i was gonna tell you first.”

peter’s breath hitched in his throat, and he swore you could hear it. he was so sleep deprived that it felt like he was hallucinating. you shook your head as heat came to your cheeks.

“how long have you...” peter trailed off, an eye crinkling smile interrupting him. “that day we went for coffee. something clicked, so i thought for a while and figured it out. i think i’ve loved you for a really long time.”

you inched closer to peter, just barely resting your head on his shoulder. for once, you felt like the shy one. he put his hand on top of yours. his thumb traced over each of your fingers. “i’d ask you out, but you know. we don’t really have time.”

“peter, it won’t take that long.” you giggled. he squeezed your hand in his. “hm. y/n, would you wanna go out with me after this?” you thought about teasing him for it, but he was right. you had to go. that was the friend still in you. “i’d love to go out with you, peter.”

with that, you both jumped to your feet and ran out of the bathroom. you were still holding hands, and a few classmates made faces when you rushed past them to get to your spots. you exchanged one last smile with peter before lining up.

the person in front of you said everybody was looking for you two. honestly, you didn’t care all that much. you were too excited for your date later. peter already knew he’d be checking his watch throughout the whole ceremony.

it was a best friend and soulmate thing.

#tom holland #peter parker #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland fic #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland writing #spiderman #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #marvel #mcu #tom holland oneshot

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unpopularwiththepopulace · 3 years

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Michael Riedel vs Bernadette Peters – the Broadway Battle of 2003 and beyond

My previous piece gives a fairly comprehensive look at Bernadette and Gypsy through the ages; though there is at least one aspect of the 2003 revival that warrants further discussion:

Namely, Michael Riedel.

Today’s essay question then: “Riedel – gossip columnist extraordinaire, the “Butcher of Broadway”, spited male vindictive over not getting a lunch date with Bernadette Peters, or puppet-like mouthpiece of theatre’s shadowed elite? Discuss.”

It’s matter retrievable in print, or even kept alive in apocryphal memory throughout the theatre community to this day that Riedel was responsible for a campaign of unrelenting and caustic defamation against Bernadette as Rose in Gypsy around the 2003 season.

While “tabloids may [have been] sniping and the Internet chat rooms chirping”, when looking back at the minutiae, none were more vocal, prolific or influential in colouring early judgment than the “chief vulture [of] Mr. Riedel, who had written a string of vitriolic columns in which he said from the start that Ms. Peters was miscast”.

He continued to find other complaints and regularly attack her in print over an extended period of time.

Why? We’ll get there. There are a few theories to suggest. Firstly, how and what.

Primary to establish is that it perhaps would be foolish to expect anything else of Riedel.

Also an author and radio and TV show host, Riedel is best known as the “vituperative and compulsively readable” theatre columnist at The New York Post.

He’s a man who thrives on controversy, decrying: “Gossip is life!”

The man who says, “I’m a wimp when it comes to physical violence, but give me a keyboard and I’ll kill ya.”

“Inflicting pain, for him, is a jokey thing. ‘Michael has this cruel streak and a lack of empathy,’ says Susan Haskins, his close friend and co-host.”

And inflicting pain is what he did with Bernadette, in a saga that has become one of the most talked about and enduring moments of his career.

From the beginning, then.

Riedel started work at The Post in 1998.

His first words on Bernadette? “Oddly miscast in the Ethel Merman role,” in August of that year on Annie Get Your Gun. It was a sentiment he would carry across to his second mention six months later (“a seemingly odd choice to play the robust Annie Oakley”), and also across to the heart of his vitriolic coverage on her next Merman role in Gypsy.

Negative coverage on Bernadette in Gypsy started in August 2002 when Riedel discussed the search for trying to find a new American producer for the show. It had initially been reported in late 2000 that a Gypsy revival with Bernadette was planned for London, before it was to transfer to Broadway. To begin with, Arthur Laurents was “eager to do Gypsy in London because it hadn't been seen in the West End since 1973”, and he “wanted to repeat [the] dreamlike triumph” he said Angela Lansbury’s production had been. But economic matters prevented this original plan, leaving the team looking for new producers in the US. Riedel suggested that Fran and Barry Wiessler step up as, “after all, they managed to sell the hell out of "Annie Get Your Gun," in which Peters…was also woefully miscast.”

He also quipped: “Industry joke: "Bernadette Peters in 'Gypsy'? Isn't she a little old to be playing Baby June?”, calling her “cutesy Peters” and again a “kewpie doll”.

Bernadette here seen side by side with the actual Baby June of the 2003 production – Kate Reinders.

Other publications to this point had discussed her “unusual” casting. Which was fairly self-evident. In contrast to being a surprising revelation that Bernadette Peters was not, in fact, Ethel Merman, this had been the intention from the start. Librettist Arthur “Laurents – whose idea it was to hire her – [said] going against type is exactly the point,” and Sam Mendes, as director, qualified “the tradition of battle axes in that role has been explored”.

It was Riedel who was the first to shift the focus from the obvious point that she was ‘differently cast’, to instead attach the negative prefix and intone that she was actually ‘MIS’ cast. According to him then, she was unsuitable, and would be unable to “carry the show, dramatically or vocally”. All before she had so much as sung a note or donned a stitch of her costume.

So no, it wasn’t then “the perception, widely held within the theater industry,” as he presented it, “that Peters is woefully miscast as Mama Rose”.

It was Riedel’s perception. And he took it, and ran with it, along with whatever else he could throw into the mix to drag both her and the show down for the next two years.

As to another indication of how one single columnist can influence opinion and warp wider perception, just look to Riedel’s assessment of the show’s first preview. It is typically known as Riedel’s forte to “[break] with Broadway convention, [where] he attends the first night of previews, and reports on the problems…before the critics have their say”. This gives him “clout” by way of mining “terrain that goes relatively uncovered elsewhere”, and it means subsequent journals are frequently looking to him from whom to take their lead – and quotes.

At Gypsy’s opening preview then, he reported visions of “Arthur Laurents [charging] up the aisle…on fire”, loudly and vocally expressing his dissatisfaction with the show as he then “read Fox [a producer] the riot act”. Despite the fact that this was “not true, according to Laurents,” the damage was already done, with the sentiment of trouble and tension being subsequently reprinted and distributed out to the public across many a regional paper.

News travels fast, bad news travels faster.

And news can be created at an ample rate, when in possession of one’s own regular periodical column. This recurring domain allowed plentiful opportunity for attack on Bernadette and Gypsy, and Riedel “began devoting nearly every column to the subject,” which amounted to weekly or even more frequent references.

As the show progressed beyond its first preview, Riedel brought in the next aspects of his smear-campaign – assailing Bernadette for missing performances through illness and accusing Ben Brantley, who reviewed the show positively in The New York Times, of unfair favouritism and “hyperbolic spin”.

The issue is not that Bernadette was not in fact ill or missing performances. She was. She had a diagnosis at first of “a cold and vocal strain”, that then progressed more seriously to a “respiratory infection” the following week, and was “told by her doctors that she needs to rest”. So rest she did.

The issue is the way in which Riedel depicted the situation and her absences via hyperbole and “insinuating she was shirking” responsibility. He went further than continual, repeated mentions and cruel article titles like “wilted Rose”, or “sick Rose losing bloom”, or “beloved but - ahem-cough-cough-ahem - vocally challenged and miscast star”. He went as far as the sensationalist and degrading action of putting “Peters' face on the side of a milk carton, the kind of advertisement typically used to recover lost children,” and asking readers to look out for “bee-stung lips, [a] high-pitched voice, [and a] kewpie doll figure”, who “may be clutching a box of tissues and a love letter from Ben Brantley”.

It was quantified in May of 2003 after the show had officially opened, that “out of the 39 performances "Gypsy" has played so far, [Bernadette] has missed six – an absence rate of 15 percent.”

As an interesting comparison, it was reported in The Times in February 2002 that “‘The Producers' stars Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick have performed together only eight times in last 43 performances due to scheduling problems and health concerns,” – an absence rate of 81%.

Did Riedel have anything nearly as ardent to say about the main male stars of the previous season’s hit missing such a rate of performances? Of course not.

Riedel arguably has a disproportionate rate for criticising female divas.

One need only heed his recommendations that certain women check into his illuminatingly named “Rosie's Rest Home for Broadway Divas.” Divos need not apply.

Not that he was unaware of this.

In 2004, Riedel would jovially lay out that “Liz Smith and I have developed a nice tag-team act: I bash fragile Broadway leading ladies who miss performances, and she rides to their rescue.”

Donna Murphy was the recipient of what he that year dubbed his “BERNADETTE PETERS ATTENDANCE AWARD”, when she began missing performances in “Wonderful Town”, due to “severe back and neck injuries and a series of colds and sinus infections”.

This speaks to his remarkably cavalier and joyful attitude with which he tears down shows and performers. “The more Mr. Riedel's work upsets people, the more he enjoys it.”

He knows he yields influence – it was recognised he had “eclipsed Ben Brantley as the single most discussed element in marketing meetings for Broadway shows” – and he delights in his capacity to lead shows to premature demises through his poison-tipped quill yielding.

When it was reported Gypsy would be closing earlier than had been planned, he made mention of “hop[ping] around on [its] grave” and debonairly applauding himself, “I suppose I can take some credit for bringing it down”.

His premonition from the previous year’s Tony’s ceremony was both ominous and prescient, when he predicted the show’s failure to win any awards “could spell trouble at the box office”. He was right. It did. The 8.5 million dollar revival closed months before anticipated and failed to return a profit.

Multiple factors can be attributed to Gypsy’s poor success at the Tony’s, but it’s clear to say Riedel’s continual bashing leading up to the fated night throughout the voting period certainly didn’t help matters.

His suggestions to do with Bernadette’s performances were not helpful either.

After alleging Laurents as the director of the 1991 revival “practically beat a performance out of” Tyne Daly when she was struggling with the role, he proffers that to improve Bernadette’s success, “it may be time for [Laurents] to take up the switch and thrash one out of Peters”.

Great.

It was irresponsible and unrelenting commentary that did not go unnoticed.

His “ruthless heckling of beloved Broadway star Ms. Peters” was deemed in print “his most egregious stunt so far”.

Vividly, in person, Riedel was accosted at a party one night by Floria Lasky, the venerable showbiz lawyer, who “grab[bed] Riedel’s tie and jerk[ed] it, nooselike, scolding, ‘It was unfair, what you did to Bernadette’”.

Moreover, the wide-reaching influential hold Riedel occupied over the environment surrounding Gypsy was tangible in the fact his words spread beyond just average readers, and even unusually “started seeping into the reviews of New York's top critics”. Riedel himself, as the “chief vulture”, was indeed what Ben Brantley was referring to in his own New York Times review by stating how the production was “shadowed by vultures predicting disaster”.

Even more substantially, the “whole Peters-Riedel-Brantley episode” became its own enduring cultural reference – being converted into its very own “satiric cabaret piece, ‘Bernadette and the Butcher of Broadway’”. All three parties were featured, with Riedel characterised as the butcher, and it played Off-Broadway later in 2003 “to positive notices”.

But penitent for his sins and begging for absolution Riedel was not. “Riedel saw nothing but a great story and a great time,” and for many years after, he would continue to hark back to the matter in self-referential (almost reverential) and flippant ways.

In 2008 as Patti LuPone won her Tony for her turn as Rose in the subsequent revival, Riedel couldn’t help but jibe, “Not to rip open an old wound, but I'd love to know if Bernadette Peters was watching”. (He neglects also to mention that “Mendes’s Gypsy was seen by 100,000 more people than saw Laurents’s and grossed $6 million more”.)

More jibes are to be found in 2012 as he reported on the auction after Arthur Laurents’ funeral, or even as recently in 2019, as he asked, “Remember the outcry that greeted Sam Mendes’ Brechtian “Gypsy,” with Bernadette Peters, in 2003?”

As with in 2004 where he points to the “pack of jackals who have been snarling” about Bernadette’s failures, this brings up the canny knack Riedel has of offloading his views to bigger and detached third party sources – thus absolving himself of personal centrality, and thus culpability.

If there was an outcry, HE was its loudest contributor. If there were snarling jackals, HE was their leader.

Maybe Riedel’s third person detached approach to referencing matters was intended to be a humorous stylistic quirk for those in the know. Or maybe it was his way of expressing some inner turmoil over the event.

In some rare display of morality and emotional authenticity, Riedel would at one point admit “I find it kind of sad and pathetic that the high point of my life supposedly has been about beating up on Bernadette Peters”.

Fortunately for him then, a degree of absolution was eventually achieved in 2018, where Riedel visited Bernadette at her opening night in Hello Dolly in 2018, with the intention of ending their “15-year feud”. He “got down on one knee at Sardi’s and extended his hand,” with Bernadette reportedly yelling “Take a picture!” while he held his deferential and obsequious position on the floor.

So if eventually this “feud” has some kind of circular resolution and Riedel was glad it was over, why on earth did it begin in the first place?

One notion is that it was simply another day on the job. Riedel is a man who sees Broadway as “a game for rich people”. Positioned as an “an industry that brought in $720.9 million in the 2002-2003 season”, it is “not a fragile business”, he remarked. As such, he “[could not] fathom the point of donning kid gloves” in covering it, and reasoned the business as a whole was robust enough to weather a few hard knocks. “Thus, Riedel can coolly view Bernadette Peters as fair game, as opposed to, say, a national treasure”.

More to the point, he was a man in search of words. During the season in question, Riedel was “one of just three New York newspaper columnists covering the stage” – a “throwback to a bygone era when…Broadway gossipmeisters…such as Walter Winchell and Dorothy Kilgallen ruled”. Now at the time, as the “last of a great tabloid tradition”, Riedel presided over not just one but two columns a week at The Post. As a result, he was in need of content. “One of the reasons I've become more opinionated is I just have more space to fill,” he admitted. Robert Simonson hypothesises in his book ‘On Broadway Men, Still Wear Hats’ that Riedel may have consequently picked “the thrashing of Bernadette” as his main target simply because “it was a slow news cycle”. Options for ‘titillating’ and durable content were scarce elsewhere that season.

And after all, if Riedel would later cite Bernadette in an article concerning the Top 10 Powerhouses of Broadway in 2004, saying even despite a few knocks or bad shows, “she’ll bounce back” – surely there was no real damage done.

If her career wouldn’t be toppled by his continual public defamation and haranguing, what was the harm?

Feelings? Who cares about feelings or Bernadette’s extremely complex and personal history with the show stretching back to when she was a teenager.

It was just part of the territory, there was nothing personal in it.

Or was there?

Maybe there was something personal in Riedel’s campaign after all.

He makes a curious comment while discussing ‘A Raisin in the Sun’ in 2004. The then incoming star of the show, rapper P. Diddy, had invited Riedel to dinner, and he makes judgement that this was “a smart p.r. move”. Then he ponders, “you do have to wonder: If Bernadette Peters had broken bread with me this time last year, would her chorus boys have to be out there now working the TKTS line to keep "Gypsy" afloat?”

Might he be going as far to suggest that if Bernadette had indulged him in a meal, her show might not have suffered so, by way of him being more inclined to cover it with greater lenience?

It may seem that way, at least in considering how Riedel reviewed P. Diddy’s performance thus after their dinner: “Riedel pronounced himself impressed. ‘He could have forgotten his lines or had to be carried offstage. He didn’t do anything terrible, he didn’t do anything astonishing.’”

Seemingly all the rapper had to do was remember some words and remain physically onstage, and he sails through scot-free. That’s a rather different outcome, one could say, to being absolutely eviscerated for what became a Tony nominated effort at one of the appreciably hardest and most demanding musical theatre roles in existence.

Though perhaps it’s hard to tell if that was really his insinuation from just one isolated comment pertaining to lunch.

This argument might be fine, if it WAS the only isolated comment pertaining to wanting Bernadette to have lunch with him. But it isn’t. Riedel continues to make a further two references over protracted periods of time to the fact Bernadette hasn’t dined with him.

One begins to get the sense of him feeling desiring of or somewhat entitled to such a private lunch with the lady he’s verbally decimated for years, and a sense of bitter rejection that he hasn’t been granted one.

“If Tonya Pinkins doesn't win the Tony Award this year, I'll buy Bernadette Peters lunch,” he simpered, and later, “I invite Bernadette to be my guest for lunch at a restaurant of her choosing. She can reach me at The Post anytime she's hungry”.

The embittered columnist in this light takes on now the marred tinge of a small boy in the playground who doesn’t get to hold the hand of the girl he wants in front of his friends, so spends the next three years pushing her over in the sandpit in revenge.

Moreover, the last statement makes undeniable comment on Bernadette’s troubled relationship with food, body image and public eating.

So now not only so far has he insulted and mocked her physical appearance and played into all the usual trite shots calling her a “kewpie doll”; suggested Arthur Laurents violently hit her in order to elicit a better performance; continually publicly harassed her regarding a show that strikes close to the nerve with deep personal and psychological resonances due to her mother and childhood; but now he’s going for the low-blows of ridiculing her over her eating habits.

Flawless behaviour.

Maybe it’s far-fetched to suggest a man would have such a fragile ego to run a multi-year public defamation campaign after so little as not getting his hypothesised fantasy of a personal lunch date. But then again, this was the man who “left Johns Hopkins University after his first year because of a broken heart.” (“I was in love with her; she wasn't in love with me,” he said.)

And also the man described as “an insomniac who pops the occasional Ambien,” living in a “small one-bedroom” that is “single-guy sloppy”, who has “been living alone since a four-year romance ended in 1996”.

The man whose own best friend called “cruel” and with a “lack of empathy”.

The man whose own sister answered that “well, yes,” he’s always been mean; and after being picked on as a kid for “being the small guy and the intellectual”, he grew dependent on using “his verbal ability to beat someone” and put himself in positions of defensive impenetrability.

See, writing Riedel-esque, vindictive and provocative conjecture is no especially challenging or cerebral task.

Riedel may well see his approach to ‘journalism’ or reporting as “all fun and games”.

But I for one am not laughing.

One final aspect to address when considering Riedel’s reasoning for the depth of his coverage on Bernadette demands attention of how he gets his information. His own personal opinions and motivations aside, crucially he depends on insider providers for insider details. Perhaps somewhat alarmingly then, “leading Broadway producers themselves are among his sources”.

“Half of Broadway hates him. The other half leaks to him”, John Heilpern titled his 2012 Vanity Fair profile on Riedel.

As such, in frequently taking his lead from “theater folk, usually with an ax to grind”, Riedel acts as the mouthpiece to bring secretive backstage reports out front. High-up, influential characters are thus able to funnel their agendas into public view, while keeping their identities hidden.

Notably, it was raised in the above article that Riedel’s “merciless running story” regarding Bernadette in Gypsy “was fed by none other than its renowned librettist, Arthur Laurents—or, more precisely, by Laurents's lover”.

Contrary to the smiley picture below between members of the show’s creative team and it’s beloved star, it was no secret that Laurents did not like Mendes’ 2003 revival. Laurents told Riedel that “Sam did a terrible disservice to Bernadette and the play, and I wanted a Gypsy seen in New York that was good… You have to have musical theater in your bones, and Sam doesn't”. In fact, Laurents admitted the only reason his 2009 book ‘Mainly on Directing’ came into existence was because of how much he had to criticise about the show – it grew out of the extensive set of notes he gave Mendes.

Additionally, it was no secret that Laurents’ lover, Tom Hatcher, demonstrated both a desire and capacity to influence Arthur’s productions. As well as being the driving force for the 2009 Spanish-speaking reworking of West Side Story, Hatcher had intense investment in Gypsy specifically. Patti LuPone writes in her memoir, “From his deathbed, Tom had told Arthur, ‘You have to do Gypsy, and you have to do it with Patti’. It was one of his dying wishes”. Laurents himself, in corroboration of this, explained Tom’s reasoning – “he didn't want the Sam Mendes production to be New York's last memory of Gypsy”.

The allegation in Heilpern’s profile might be hard to prove from an outsider perspective. But given that neither were happy with Mendes’ production and both actively took steps to ensuring it would be superseded in memory, it is not completely implausible.

Overarchingly, as much as Riedel’s writing may benefit FROM insider sources, it is said he does not write in benefit OF them. For instance, although friends with Scott Rudin in 2004, an animated (nay threatening) warning from Mr Rudin asking Riedel to “back off” from “slamming” his show, Caroline or Change, seemingly “had no impact”.

That’s not to cite total impartiality or exemption from personal connections and higher up influences colouring his reports of shows. Theatre publicist John Barlow would describe that sometimes “if you ask Michael to kill [one of his pieces], he will, if it’s someone with whom he does business”.

But it would be remiss not to mention that his influences and sources stretch beyond just the big wigs. Amongst his other informants too are the more lowly, overlooked folk like “the stagehands, the ushers, chorus kids, house managers, and press agents… the guys who build sets in the Bronx”. Basically, for anyone who’ll talk, Riedel will listen.

“Michael Riedel doesn't work for the producers or the publicists; he works for the reader,” one publicist said. “Sometimes we're glad of that, sometimes we're not-but at the end of the day, that's the reality.”

Sometimes he’s nice, sometimes he’s not – but the world goes round.

Through all that’s been explored, it should be stated how painful and injurious it must be for individual performers or shows to fall upon the unmitigated, maiming force of being on the wrong side of Riedel’s favour. The way he approached coverage on Bernadette is deplorable from an emotional and personal standpoint. Some would argue that it was too far and crossed a line and was most definitely unfair. Others would say it was justified. It’s hard not to sound petulant as the former, or heartless as the latter.

While his actions may indeed be abrasively wounding in isolated (often plentiful) cases, it’s unreasonable to say Riedel’s intentions would be to cripple the Broadway industry as a whole. There are those who purport that Riedel in fact “keeps Broadway alive with his controversies”. His words may not always be ‘nice’ but it’s difficult to argue they're not engaging.

Many are quick to criticize or react impassionedly to him and his columns; but few are quick to stop reading them. And Riedel “knows that the most important thing is being well read”.

Hence it is understandable why Riedel is appraised as “the columnist Broadway loves to hate”. Through his enthralling and stimulating bag of linguistic and dramatic tricks, Riedel knows how to keep the readers coming back. “He’s lively, and he makes the theater seem like an interesting place,” one producer did reason.

“There are times when no one's going to care about Broadway if you don't have a gossip angle that focuses on the backstage drama,” opined George Rush, the Daily News gossip columnist who was once Riedel's boss.

Perhaps it is logically and principally then, if somewhat cynically, a matter of believing “it's just business” and knowing how to “play the game”.

As Riedel himself would rationalise, “It’s all an act. You gotta have a gimmick, as they say in Gypsy.”

It may not be pleasant, but in a world increasingly dependent on sensationalistic and clickbait-driven engagement, it’s probably not going to change any time soon.

Well then, if he can live with the toll of the position of moral tumult his column puts him in, so be it.

That he described his mind as being “constantly on the next deadline”, saying “I always think about the column”, and likening writing it to “standing under a windmill”, where “you dodge one blade, but there's always another one coming right behind it”, may be some indication that he can't. At least not wholly easily.

I’ll leave that to him to figure out. Off the record.

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grendelsmilf · 3 years

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Do you have any thoughts about books as a 'replacement' for real life experiences? I.e. do you think someone who has read a lot of (good) books could understand more about the world than someone who has experienced a lot of things, but only from their own personal perspective. Particularly relevant during a pandemic when it's hard to do things or talk to people, but you can still go into other people's minds from reading. Obviously the real world can't actually be replaced and it depends on the books, but wondered if you had an opinion as someone who is very smart and has good taste in books but also has a life!

this is a really interesting question. i don’t think books can replace real life experiences any more than real life experiences can replace the feeling of reading a really good book. i’ve known people who have read a lot and digested a lot of other people’s writing, both fiction and non-fiction, and yet have no clue how the real world works, and fumble through every social interaction (thinking about “nerdy” teenage boys, as well as just, well, myself as a child) – and i’ve known people who have lived through many drastic life experiences and yet due to their lack of literacy (by which i mean the willingness to read, not the capacity for it) also makes it difficult to navigate life, especially social interactions. my best friend and i used to play a game in high school where we’d talk shit about people in public using codenames we’d devised from literature (primarily shakespeare & austen) and those around us would be none the wiser. i think cultural references of any kind are crucial in navigating one’s society, which is relevant, for example, when you’re an immigrant kid trying to understand your american peers. as a young teen, i stopped reading books that i enjoyed, and started reading books i thought i should enjoy, by which i mean YA. i didn’t understand the appeal of the category at all, and to this day, i still don’t. i stopped listening to abba and ella fitzgerald (the music i grew up enjoying) and started forcing myself to listen to top 40s hits (thank god by the time i was 13 i’d discovered the milk eyed mender and never looked back). i watched all 10 seasons of f.r.i.e.n.d.s., despite enjoying none of them. it definitely didn’t help me understand the broader american consciousness at the time, though looking back on it, i think it did, even if i think one episode of f.r.i.e.n.d.s. could’ve done the trick (every episode is the same) and i could’ve spared myself many valuable hours of hating my pubescent body, or however i occupied my time in middle school. these days i tend to only consume art i truly believe will be edifying, mostly because i don’t often have the time to consume the mediocre, and i definitely think i benefit from being more selective with the art i consume for pleasure. one good book is worth countless mediocre books, and i’ve also been trying to branch out and read more contemporary literature instead of just clinging to “classics” which have stood the test of time. i have always been at my happiest when reading a really good book. there is very little in the world for me that beats that feeling of being immersed in a well-crafted novel. but that is hardly the case for everyone, and i can respect that. no one will ever even scratch the surface of experiencing the entirety of the human experience. we all experience a fraction of a fraction of perspectives, and those extreme limitations of our very small, insignificant consciousnesses define us. does literature broaden our perspectives, eliciting empathy and instilling ideas in us that may expand our minds and our hearts? undoubtedly yes. is fiction a valuable tool in shaping the human experience? of course. but can a book ever “replace” a “real life” experience? that’s a complicated question, one that involves defining reality, as well as being wholly dependent on the individual who lives these experiences, and how they process the world they intake. i like books. i don’t know.

#ask #anon #sorry this took me so long to respond to #i meant to reply but then like 50 more asks (at least) piled up and it got buried #anyway heres a super rambly response #fashionably late #100

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handsomeamoeba · 3 years

Text

Pokemon That Look Like Perverts

Here’s a post I’ve wanted to make for a long time. Actually I originally wanted to do it as a Twitter thread, but never got around to it. In part because I hate that blue website even worse than this blue website. But I have strong opinions about this. This isn’t about what Pokemon I like or don’t like, or which designs I think are good are not. It’s just about which Pokemon are, at the end of the day, into some creepy shit probably. I’ve tried to be as objective as I can but of course, true objectivity is impossible. First, some ground rules:

1) Though there is some overlap, being furry bait does not a pervert make. It’s not Lopunny’s fault she looks like that and people are weird about it.

2) I do not accept criticism.

That being said, here’s the list:

Gloom Looks like a Redditor. At least he grows out of it.

Machoke His name has “choke” in it and he is in prime thrusting position. You could make an argument about Machamp too but I’ll believe Machamp is a hard-working himbo over this motherfucker.

Cloyster You ever heard of the movie “Teeth”?

Drowzee & Hypno I mean Hypno is WAY worse but they’re both definitely Up To Something and I do not trust them.

Lickitung I shouldn’t have to explain this.

I know you’re expecting Mr. Mime but no. Mr. Mime is creepy, but not a pervert. Don’t come at me about how Mr. Mime canonically fucks, I don’t want to hear it! I’m not here to kinkshame Ash’s mom! However, I’ll be checking back in with you later.

Jynx Now Jynx on the other hand absolutely is a pervert. And racist.

Magmar This one pains me because I had a shiny Magmar in my first playthrough of Crystal, but he has an ass on his face, he’s leering at you, and his original name is “Boober.”

Miltank Now I know what you’re thinking. “Why Miltank? Like she’s annoying to fight but she’s just a cow!” She also drinks her own milk right in front of you. Think about it.

Slaking He’s grabbing his right tit and leering at you while doing the full Jeff Goldblum sidelean. Of course he’s a pervert.

Ambipom Now I didn't put Aipom on the list but something about Ambipom makes me uncomfortable but I can't quite put my finger on it. Ambipom could, though. And would.

Toxicroak I don’t have an argument for this but look at it.

I’m actually not going to put Lickitung’s evolution Lickilicky on here. Yeah I know it’s twice the licking but like look at him. He looks like a big doofus doing the world’s largest blep. Lickitung looks like he’s going to lick my ear on a crowded subway.

Timburr, Gurdurr, Conkeldurr Oh god oh christ they’re so veiny. Stop looking at me.

Scraggy & Scrafty The only Pokemon expressly designed to be ready to flash you.

Cofagrigus Keep your hands to yourself.

Greninja Jesus H. Mackenzie Christ

Diggersby While I will lay down my life in Lopunny’s defense, Diggersby on the other hand looks like he’d wolf whistle at me while passing a construction site. “Jack why haven’t you put Inceneroar when you put Machoke on here?” Because he’s not conspicuously wearing underpants despite being a battle pet. And because he’s my best friend, shut up!!!

Salazzle I love the BDSM lizard as much as the next person but look at her? Look at her. Yeah I said “it’s not enough to be furry bait” but this magnificent bitch is not an innocent bystander.

Guzzlord Almost all of the Ultra Beasts could potentially qualify for the list but I just want to highlight Vore Incarnate here.

Inteleon This lizard is an incel. What happened to our sweet boy Sobble? Where did we go wrong as parents?

Cramorant CRAMORANT IS THE ONLY POKEMON THAT CANONICALLY VORES ANOTHER POKEMON.

Grimmsnarl Grimmsnarl is the Pokemon that inspired me to make this list. I watched my Morgrem ascend into this hair-covered creep in horror. I said, out loud, “oh no, he looks like a pervert” and I knew what dark work lay ahead of me.

Obstagoon Look this guy's based on the guys from KISS and I know all those old bastards are perverts.

Mr. Rime Remember when I said Mr. Mime isn’t a pervert but I’ll get back to you? Anyway, that’s my list. Again I accept no criticism but I may adjust this later. Thank you.

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kanerallels · 3 years

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happy one-eleven!! four words: kanera, lost a bet.

Oh, heck yes!! Here it is, I hope you like it!!!

Pairing: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla

Word Count: 3,269

Tags/Warning: rated G (for a grotesque amount of Kanera jk there's no such thing)

This was why Hera didn’t typically get involved in bets. They rarely ended well, and she’d seen some bets her friends made go in some very crazy directions.

But this one had seemed relatively safe-- her friend, Ahsoka, had been racing against her brother Anakin to see who could drink the most shots of chocolate milk in sixty seconds. Hera had bet on Ahsoka, because she usually won this kind of thing.

However, halfway through, Anakin had started stealing the shot glasses Ahsoka had been about to drink out of, which resulted in Ahsoka throwing other shot glasses at Anakin, which resulted in him drenched in chocolate milk but victorious all the same.

And now Hera owed Omega, her best friend and roommate, a dare of some kind, and she was getting an increasingly bad feeling about what it would be.

“So what does this have to do with our bet?” she asked as Omega led her towards a nearby building. Even from a distance, Hera could tell it was some kind of bar. That, combined with the fact that Omega had convinced her to get dressed up in a dark blue dress (which she almost never wore). She had refused to wear high heels, however, or let down her hair, which she almost always wore woven into two braids. That was a bridge too far for her.

“You’ll see,” Omega said, her voice way too innocent for comfort. Hera flashed an inquisitive look at their other three companions, Ahsoka, and Merrin. Ahsoka gave a shrug.

“Search me. I’m just here to see the fruits of my loss.”

Hera let out a sigh as she followed Omega and the others into the bar. This is definitely not going to end well.

The bar was dimly lit, but fairly generic-looking, with tables scattered across the room and the bar to Hera’s right. The room was about half full, and there were four people working the bar.

One was an older man who was almost bald, with a neatly trimmed white beard, who was taking a customer’s order. A young woman a little older than Hera, with short dark hair, heavy eyeliner, and tan skin was wiping down the bar, ignoring the two men bickering at the end of the bar.

Hera’s gaze paused on the two men for a moment. One had short dark hair, combed neatly, and a seriously annoyed expression. The other man, on the other hand, had longer brown hair, his skin a light brown, and wore an easy smirk.

His eyes flicked up from his work and locked on her, and Hera realized she’d been staring, Feeling a flush working it’s way across her cheeks, she looked away as the older man finished with his order and caught sight of them. “Ah, Omega!” he said, his smile kind. “A pleasure to see you as always. How are your brothers?”

“Still unaware of the fact I came here on a date, thanks to you,” Omega said, giving him a grin. “By the way, these are my friends-- Ahsoka and Hera.”

“Lovely to meet you, madams,” Okadiah said, giving them a bow. “We’ll have someone to serve you in a moment-- is there anything any of us can get you for the time being?”

“I think we’ll be fine,” Hera said.

Okadiah nodded just as there was a crash on the far end of the bar, where the two men had been. Hera looked to see the short haired man doubled over with laughter as the one she’d caught herself staring at got to his feet, rubbing his head and directing a glare at his friend.

“You alright, Kanan?” Okadiah asked, a look of mild interest on his face.

Waving a hand, the man said, “Fine-- it’s not that funny, Dark!”

Dark didn’t seem to agree, judging by how hard he was laughing, but Omega was already looping her arm around Hera’s and leading her and the others over to a table before Hera could see what happened next.

They settled at a table, and the female bartender, who turned out to be named Trilla, came over and took their orders. No sooner had she returned to the bar than Omega turned to Hera.

“Good news-- I know what I’m daring you to do.”

“Reassuring,” Hera said, letting out a sigh. “Okay, let’s get it over with. What do you want me to do?”

“You know that bartender you were staring at? The one with the ponytail?”

“Wha-- I wasn’t staring at anyone.”

Merrin shook her head. “No, Omega’s right. You were staring.”

“Unhelpful,” Hera muttered, her face heating up again.

“Regardless,” Omega said, waving a hand airily. “I’m daring you to get his number.”

Hera’s jaw dropped. “WHAT?”

Ahsoka’s eyes widened. “Oh, this is SO worth losing to Skyguy for. You want Hera to ask out the bartender she thinks is hot?”

“I don’t!”

“You do,” Omega said.

Merrin let out a thoughtful noise. “He’s okay. I like Cal better.”

“Cal is literally your boyfriend, it would be weird if you didn’t,” Ahsoka pointed out. “Hera, you absolutely HAVE to do this. I’ve literally never seen you show interest in a guy before, and I’ve known you for three years now.”

“I agree,” Merrin said, nodding.

Hera let out a groan. “I-- you’re not letting me get out of this, are you?”

“Sorry,” Omega said, patting her on the arm. “But you owe me. These are just the cards you’ve been dealt.”

Sighing, Hera muttered, “You sound like one of your brothers.”

“Not a bad thing.”

“That’s a matter of opinion.”

Clearing her throat, Ahsoka said, “Not to be the Skyguy, but stop stalling and get moving.”

“Fine.” Reluctantly, Hera got to her feet and headed over to the bar, determinedly trying not to think about the three other women watching her, or what she was about to do.

When she arrived at the bar, she realized that the other bartenders were gone, leaving only the guy with the ponytail-- Kanan?-- there. I’m not sure if this is better or worse. “Hi,” she said.

His gaze flicked to her, and his eyes widened a little at the sight of her. For a moment, he looked incapable of speech, and Hera frowned. “You okay?”

A very slight smile tugged at the corner of the man’s mouth. “Words fail me.”

This was… definitely not what Hera had been expecting. Before she could respond, the man said, “I’m Kanan.”

“I heard. Hera.” Hera offered her hand, and Kanan clasped it. His grip was firm, and something about the feeling of his skin against hers… Hera tried very hard not to turn red again.

“Nice to meet you, Hera,” he said with a smile. Releasing her hand, he leaned against the bar, propping his elbows on the surface as he faced her. “So. Be honest-- your friends dared you to come over here, did they?”

“What-- how--?” Hera stared at him, stunned.

Kanan shrugged lightly. “I have mad skills. Plus, I spotted Omega pointing over at us, and there were a lot of covert looks in our direction. Also, I recall her saying last time she was here that she had a friend she wanted to, uh, introduce me to.”

“You’re kidding,” Hera said, and Kanan shook his head. “Ugh, that is so typical-- how long has she been planning this?”

“Aren’t all of her brothers either currently or previously military?” Kanan pointed out. “Cause that’s definitely a yes.”

Letting out a long sigh, Hera muttered, “I can’t believe this.” Glancing at Kanan, she said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to involve you in all this.”

“I’ve been involved in way worse,” Kanan said breezily. “Give me the details. I’m invested at this point.”

Grimacing, Hera said, “Long story short, I lost a bet with Omega, and she gets to dare me to do whatever she wants. And in this case, that’s… getting your number.”

“High stakes,” Kanan said with a totally straight face, and Hera rolled her eyes at him.

“Don’t mock me, alright? I don’t usually do this kind of thing.”

“It makes sense,” Kanan said, holding up his hands. “I mean, I doubt you usually need to, all things considered.”

Hera’s eyebrows shot up. “What exactly does that mean?”

She saw Kanan pause and look briefly embarrassed. “Oh. Well, I mean, you’re pretty… wow. I assume you have to fight off guys with a stick.”

A wave of heat swept over Hera, and she glanced down, feeling an absurd smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Pretty wow, huh?”

“Now who’s mocking?” Kanan grumbled, a grin crossing his face nonetheless. “I’m usually a lot smoother than this, you know.”

Rolling her eyes, Hera said, “Oh, I’m sure. But-- no, actually. I don’t date a lot. From what I’ve heard, my strong personality and ability to actually do things for myself tends to scare some men off.”

“Only idiots,” Kanan said, shooting her a grin that shouldn’t have made Hera’s heart skip a beat. But here they were, and she couldn’t help but notice how little space was between them. He was close enough that she could clearly see the bright teal of his eyes as they caught hers for a long moment.

“I’ve got an idea,” he told her, and moved back and away from her. Hera felt a moment of unreasonable disappointment, and hastily brushed it away. Don’t be stupid, Hera. Turning her attention back to Kanan, she saw him grab a pen and a paper coaster and scribble something on the back of it. “Here’s my number-- but I propose a bet.”

“I’ve already been tricked into one bet,” Hera pointed out, folding her arms. “Why on earth would I agree to this one?”

“Because I’ll give you my number either way,” Kanan said, sliding her the coaster. “Rules are simple. We stay here and talk for as long as possible. Whoever’s friends get curious and come to nose into our business first, wins. If you win, you obviously get my number, and I’ll pay for your whole group’s drinks and meals.”

“And if you win?” Hera asked, intrigued despite herself.

“I get to take you out to dinner,” Kanan said, a satisfied grin stretching across his face. “Somewhere a lot nicer than here, I promise you. Deal?”

Hera hesitated. Last time she'd gotten involved in a bet, it had gone badly. Getting involved in another one seemed really stupid.

But as her father liked to say, no risk, no reward. Besides, the worst that could happen would be her ending up on a date with Kanan. And would that be the worst thing in the world?

Brushing off the thought, Hera gave Kanan a nod. “Deal.”

“Excellent,” Kanan said. “Okay, in order to do this-- you might have to tell me about yourself.”

“Very funny,” Hera said, lifting an eyebrow at her. “But you've got a point. Where do you want to start?”

Kanan frowned, knitting his eyebrows thoughtfully. “Let's see. Favorite color?”

“I like blue,,” Hera said.

Nodding, Kanan said, “I can see why. It’s a good color for you.”

“Are you going to spend this whole time flirting?” Hera asked, narrowing her arms at him.

“Maybe,” Kanan said, a grin pulling at the corner of his lips-- and why was Hera looking at his lips?

Hastily redirecting her attention, she said, “How about you?”

“Green. Which reminds me, I like your hair.” He gestured to her braids, his fingers brushing one of them. “What made you decide to dye them?”

Flicking one of her deep green braids over her shoulder, Hera said, “It’s… for my mom. I lost her when I was thirteen, and she actually did something very similar with her hair. After a while, it just kind of stuck. My brother did the same thing-- it’s kind of our thing at this point.”

“I’m sorry about your mom.” Kanan’s deep voice was unusually serious, and Hera glanced up to meet his eyes again. They held a sort of raw conviction, a sadness that almost made Hera think he knew what she was feeling. He gently touched her hand, but pulled back again a few seconds later, giving her space.

“Thanks,” she said, her voice irritatingly shaky. Clearing her throat, she said, “Um, let’s see. What else?”

“I’ve got a good one-- what’s your dream job?” Kanan asked.

“Well, I’m going to school to be a mechanic,” Hera replied. “But ever since I was a little girl, I’ve liked the idea of being a pilot.”

“Like for a commercial airline or something?”

Shaking her head adamantely, Hera said, “Definitely not. No, just… being able to fly. It appeals to me, the idea of being up there. Anyway, I’m working on getting my pilot’s license. If I’ll be able to do anything with it is another story entirely.”

“I get the feeling you’ll figure something out,” Kanan said with stunning certainty. “You’ve got this general air of confidence, like you can handle anything. I admire it.”

“Hmm. I appreciate the support. Well, how about you? Dream job?”

“I’ve never really had one,” Kanan said, grimacing. “Let’s just say that my future hasn’t ever been something that’s been set in stone. I don’t really have your confidence, shall we say.”

“I haven’t always been confident,” Hera said, making a face. “I guess you’ve just got to find what you’re passionate about and figure out how to make a living off of it.”

“I don’t know how well that’ll go in my case,” Kanan said wryly. “But it’s not a bad idea. Next question?”

Accepting the change in subject, Hera said, “Well, I don’t even know your last name. Shall we start there?”

“Easily fixed-- Jarrus,” Kanan said, his smile returning. “You?”

“Syndulla.”

Hera regretted answering the minute Kanan’s eyebrows shot up. “Syndulla? As in the prosecutor?”

Letting out a sigh, Hera said, “Yep. Consider that another nail in my social life coffin.”

“Well, you do have a couple friends over there,” Kanan pointed out.

“Yeah, well, most people I meet are pretty convinced that I’m as rich and stuck up as they’re convinced my dad is. Omega and I grew up together, and she’d introduced me to Merrin. Ahsoka is… technically in the police academy, so she wasn’t very intimidated by my dad.” Hera rubbed a hand over her forehead. “And my dating life is… frustrating. I’m a little particular as it is, though--” she stopped abruptly, grimacing. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to dump all of this on you at all, it’s just--”

“It sounds to me like you need to talk about it,” Kanan said, his voice matter of fact. “And I’m happy to listen. I’ve been the object of many a drunken ramble-- and trust me, I’d rather listen to you.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Hera’s mouth. “Thanks. I think.”

“No problem. And for the record, the right people will stay friends with you regardless of who your family is,” Kanan told her. “I’ve been in a pretty similar situation, so I know what I’m talking about.”

Frowning, Hera said, “How so?”

Kanan hesitated, his expression clearly torn. “Uh. Do you know Mace Windu?”

“The deputy commissioner of the police department?” Hera said incredulously. “Yeah, my father has dinner with him and his daughter sometimes-- wait.” She stopped and squinted at Kanan. “Are you--?”

“His grandson,” Kanan said, offering what could be either a smile or a grimace. “Surprise. I don’t really talk about it a lot, but--” he shrugged. “We’ve all got family that’s not super easy to deal with.”

“Hmm.” Hera nodded thoughtfully. “Who would have thought our families would actually be so… entwined, I guess?”

A real smile started on Kanan’s face. “One could even call it fate.”

“Very smooth,” Hera said, and he laughed.

“Oh, just let me have this one.”

“You’ll have to do better than that,” Hera told him.

Leaning forward, Kanan locked eyes with her, their faces inches apart. Hera felt her breath catch as he said quietly, “Challenge accepted.”

Before Hera could respond, she heard a voice from behind them. “Hey, Hera?”

Kanan pulled back smoothly as Hera turned to see Ahsoka, whose expression was calm and blank, with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. “Are you busy? I can come back later--”

“You’re fine,” Kanan cut in lightly. “Although, Miss Syndulla, I believe this belongs to you.”

Hera glanced back at him to see him holding out the coaster with his number scribbled on it-- and she remembered the bet. Right. And I won. So why didn’t she feel excited?

“I’ll see you back at the table, Hera,” Ahsoka said quietly, turning and heading back to where their friends were waiting.

Taking the coaster from Kanan, Hera said, “Thank you. For-- all of this, really.”

“Not a problem,” Kanan said, but Hera could read the slight disappointment in his eyes. And she was startled to realize she felt the same way. It wasn’t every day she met a guy she might be interested in, let alone one who wasn’t intimidated by her and her father. “Consider your tab covered.”

“Actually,” Hera said as he started to move away, “I’ve changed my mind.”

Surprise flashed across Kanan’s face. “Uh, what?”

“For my end of the bet. I’m changing the deal.”

“Okay,” Kanan said, folding his arms as a slow smile started to grow across his face. “What exactly did you have in mind? Obviously I won’t accept just anything, since you’re changing the deal after the bet is over.”

“Coffee,” Hera said calmly. “Tomorrow morning, you and me. I’m buying. There’s a place two blocks south of here that sells the best bear claws. It’s called, unfortunately, Bake It Til You Make It.”

“That’s… kind of the best name I’ve ever heard,” Kanan said.

“The guy who owns it thinks he’s hilarious. But he’s a good baker.” Holding Kanan’s gaze, Hera lifted an eyebrow. “What do you say?”

“Yes,” Kanan said, giving her a crooked grin. “I’d love to.”

“Good.” Hera sent him a smile that she knew was different from her usual one. But there was something about this guy that was different. Maybe it was his easy humor or the seriousness and respect that was just underneath, or maybe even the fact that he was seriously good looking.

It could also be the way he was looking at her right now-- soft and kind, with a hint of curiosity in his eyes. It took Hera a moment to regain her ability to speak. “What?”

“Why’d you change your mind about the bet?”

Hera pursed her lips thoughtfully. “I guess I don’t want to miss out on what could turn out to be something… good. If you know what I mean.”

“I definitely do,” Kanan said, his deep voice holding something that sent a shiver up Hera’s spine. “See you at eight-thirty, in that case?”

“I’ll meet you there,” Hera said. Shooting him a grin, she added, “And don’t be late.”

“Well, you have my number if I am.”

“Very true,” Hera agreed. She held his gaze for another second, feeling her heart speed up as he looked back. Then she got to her feet and headed over to the table where her friends were waiting, grinning like a pack of hyenas.

But. She had a really good feeling about tomorrow all of a sudden. And a fluttery feeling in her stomach that hadn’t been there in a long time. Maybe it was a good thing I lost that bet after all, Hera mused.

#hera syndulla #kanan jarrus #omega star wars #ahsoka tano #tbb #swr #tcw #anakin skywalker #dark o'reilly #(and yes i did cameo @accidental-spice's oc i do what i want)#trilla suduri #nightsister merrin #kanera #kanera is love kanera is life #star wars rebels #111 followers celebration #it was dope. the end

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