Poetry For Pumpkin
If I said things was perfect.
I will be lying.
Since you left, I’ve been having a hard time accepting it.
Guess that’s why I’ve been feeling so lost latelySpending a lifetime.
Writing miss you letters.
With the mailing addresse saying Heaven.
Spending my nights trying to find peace.
But I think peace gave up on me.
Spending most of my days.
Loss in this crave for the love that you…
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broken, geneva
time was timeless there
no ticking clocks only
ticking tongues every
time i pissed myself
to come clean
and i think my teeth are
still wedged within
those concrete walls
i think my cracked
voice still reverberates
through those stained
carpet halls
i think
i can’t forgive
what i can’t forget
and how can i forget?
when my memories run
laps like safety checks
that felt more like
encroaching…
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Depression comes in many shapes and sizes.
Sometimes a person like myself can be depressed and not know the reason behind it. It's like a sunny day and suddenly dark clouds appear out of nowhere.
For me its sometimes not eating.
For me it's sometimes not showering.
For me it's sometimes not wanting to get out of bed and be productive.
But Depression for me is also feeling like a apart of you is missing. Sitting alone feeling lonely when the ones you love so dearly leave. Even if it isn't for a long time, sometimes for a few days yet you still feel like they left because they are done dealing with you
For me it's not talking when everyone around me knows I'm known for talking ALOT.
For me it's degrading myself as a mother whole everyone else tells me good job.
For me it's many things, and it's different for everyone.
Depression isn't something to be taken lightly, it isn't something people should make fun of. It isn't a friend it's a dark passenger, it can't be fixed over night. It can't be fixed but "choosing" to be happy. I choose to be happy every damn day, but you can be happy and still be depressed.
-Jasmine Black(BlueDaisy)
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Is this it?
My head is pounding,
My heart is going too fast
I try to focus on your voice
“Shes gone”
This can’t be real,
I refuse to believe it
She can’t be gone
My mom screams
Holding on to her for deal life
Begging her to come back
Nanny sands outside the room staring her,
Her daughter,
Her baby
Dead.
The doctor stood with us,
Hearing us sob
Scream
And beg for him to save her.
There was nothing he could do
Her corpse laid on the bed
I wish we could trade places.
She deserved to live
Why did she have to die?
No one talked on the ride home.
Amie played her favorite songs
We cried
The music drowning out our sorrows
It’s been over a year
Since she took her last breath
Since we buried my aunt
My moms sister
My nanny’s child
My uncles wife
My heart hurts
My eyes are still puffy from the tears.
Yet life goes on
We can’t live in that moment forever
Eventually we must move on.
-L.C.T 9/27/22 1:04pm
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I feel like a waste of time, nothing about me is worth it. I’m full of traumas that I can’t escape from. I’m tired of burdening people, including myself. I’m never not overthinking anything. I feel as if I’m unlovable. Why can’t I ever believe that someone genuinely cares. Why am I so stuck in a loop that everything feels like a lie. At this point I don’t even know what I need, because I can’t even help myself.
-what the fuck is wrong with you
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Depression
It brings the loneliness in with the tide
It buries me in the sand
The rage of water fills my lungs
I am a drift and drowning
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For @prosetrybyr February Prompts ( More in Caption) (Each sentence of this Storytelling Poetry is to be read with each note of the violin to absorb the meaning. Reading time 55 seconds) . Taking the opportunity by using these wonderful prompts to dedicate this piece to every talented artist who left and might leave social media for lack of support and/ or hashtag system preferences. I wish for each of you to know that you are enough. Please don't let any man or machine let you down or give up on your passion, whatever it may be. . . Thanking @poetrysupportbybt for providing the collaboration platform and being the safe haven for writers and poets around the world. . . . . #prosetrybyr #travelwithmestranger #prompt #shewritestruth #truewordsspoken #writerlift #poetssupportingpoets #poetrystories #writerssupportingwriters #authorsupportingauthors #poetsandartists #poeticreveries_ #mentalhealthpoetry #depressionpoetry #supportpoets #supportpoetry #sos #poetrysupportbybt #buddingwriter #indiepoet #instagood #voiceofpoets #upliftingwords #communityofpoets #poetsandwritersfeature #poetryforthesoul #poetsandwriters #tragedy #simplereminders (at Uttar Pradesh, India) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpNB8aNplVZ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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Vampire
I've drained my life, can I drain yours?
The more blood I take
The less energy you have
To save
Me.
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"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds." Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral's Kiss #authorquotes #depressionpoetry #depression #haikupoetry #haikupoem https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd8SIX1OkPQ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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Recovery
Recovery they whisper in my ear
As if I should be ashamed
Ashamed for locking myself away
Kneeling on my bathroom floor
Hands steady as rows of crimson form intricate patterns down my porcelain skin
Recovery
Recovery they say
As if a few months in therapy will fix me
Therapy where my answers are false words tumbling from my clenched jaw
Words that come as easy as breathing
Lies.
Recovery
Recovery they yell
I cower in the corner of a mansion crafter by my own mentality
Bashed and bruised by their false ideals of “happy”
10 months clean they applaud
Their applause worsening the feeling of hopelessness
You’ve recovered
You’ve recovered they congratulate
The sharp edge of a blade has not pierced my thin layers of protection
Yet behind my curled lips and bright eyes is something not so visible
When you quit one habit a new one will take its place
Breaking a habit is a good thing
A liberty from a past failure
But they never say what happens when the new habit bears its ugly fangs
Fangs of hollow insides and bile pooling from my mouth
Fangs of limited calories and excessive amounts of water
Recovered
Recovered I’ve been told
my midnight thoughts
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ⓢⓞⓕⓣ ⓢⓚⓔⓛⓔⓣⓞⓝ S𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨 I 𝙬𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙖𝙛𝙛𝙚. 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙖𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙗𝙨. 𝙬𝙤𝙗𝙗𝙡𝙮.
S𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙨 𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙚. 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜
𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙮 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙠𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙤𝙣.
𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩. 𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮.
S𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙥 𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚. 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝. 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙝. 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩.
𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣.
W𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩. 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚-𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚
𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙨. 𝙤𝙧.
𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣. 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙙. 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙.
𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙. 𝙜𝙤𝙖𝙡𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙙.
𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙙.
𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙯𝙚𝙙.
T𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙭𝙝𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙢𝙮 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙘 𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘 𝙥𝙪𝙜𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩. 𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙜𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙗𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣'𝙨 𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙨𝙩.
(W𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 T𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙙𝙖𝙮, M𝙖𝙮 23𝙧𝙙, 2013.) ••••• 👈🏽 swipe < gravity edit << pre-animated edit <<< clouds no faces edit <<<< original photo originally posted on my account @cloud.loves.sky 🌈 follow me @fuschia.blue for original edits & dope aesthetix ••••• #photomanipulation #aestheticedits #depressionart #mentalhealthart #mentalhealthartist #mentalhealthadvocate #photoeditartist #depressionpoetry #depressionwriter #depressionwarrior #trippyart #trippyedits #collage #collageart #hummingbirdart #fuschiablueart #artivist #poetrycommunity #poemoftheday #artoftheday #neonart #neonartist #portraitartist #portraitoftheday #originalpoem #originalart #☁️ (at Mental Health Awareness) https://www.instagram.com/p/CUrIlEQrJsz/?utm_medium=tumblr
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Dark Soul
My soul dark.
Black as it ever been.
Living in hell.
Getting tired of fighting my demons.
The devil not to far away.
Since I was living in his Kingdom.
I could hear his footsteps.
Dead souls that haven’t found their place in the afterlife.
Found a place on the floor of my heart.
Dancing to the sound of my dying heart beat.
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my rock-bottom self care checklist
💖check out my other socials💖
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I don’t know if or when I will be the same again.
Quite frankly I don’t remember what “the same” feels like anymore.
It felt like something though- anything.
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Him
He smiled at me from afar
I felt my heart skip a beat
My cheeks flushed
His smile- man.
It can make anyone fall in love.
Don’t let that face fool you.
He hits hard.
Not just with his smile
But with his hands
My body is covered in welts
The inside of thighs are covered in bruises.
The marks from knees became a constant reminder.
He is stronger
He is more powerful.
My friends say how lucky I am.
“He’s so sweet”
“Gentle”
“Calming”
If only they knew,
That behind closed doors he's different.
he’s ..
Scary
A monster,
By the time I finally got away,
My legs and arms were scared.
My head was messed up.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Panic Disorder
Major Depressive Disorder.
But I'm lucky right?
The devil slept in my bed
But I’m lucky right?
My body is covered in hidden scars.
But I’m lucky right?
Why does no one believe me?
Is it because he’s hot?
Is that really it?
The devil is hot.
So I must be lying right?
-L.C.T 9/27/2022 1:23PM
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The room at night feels so lonely, empty space that fosters the monsters in my sleep. The room that made me realize just how quiet life is without people around you. My bed doesn’t feel comfortable anymore, and as much as I hate falling asleep around people it’s much better than sleeping alone.
-thoughts race at night-
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