hunger
you told me you were hungry so i laid myself bare for you.
i placed my heart alongside my kidneys, cups full of my essence for you to feast upon.
but then you saw how bloody the table looked and decided that you weren't hungry anymore.
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there’s much to look forward to (uncertainty is unattractive. it invites instability. it’s life). my favourite colour is aqua blue (aqua as in ocean. as in every now and then between the grey and the green there’s something so vibrant it strikes art). I like daffodils but I don’t buy them (they’re never at the florist. no wait. they look prettier by the waters edge. no wait). the book I have the most copies of is “picture of dorian gray” (something must teach us to be beautiful. something must teach us that being only beautiful will ruin us). the last poem I read was a love poem by li-young lee (love bleeds into everything. art yes but also words. my emails. into you. sorry me). it’s sunday (quietly dreadful day. the one I least like to enjoy but the better of the ones I don’t enjoy altogether). it’s supposed to rain tomorrow (the weather app has been showing the rain icon while glaring “zero percent chance” at us for weeks. I don’t believe it. not the rain, just the weather. it changes too often. familiar). I don’t know why stars formed up instead of down (it hurts my neck to stare so long. stop staring. id rather die. why do you think we get buried face up?). the crinkle of chip packets is too loud (I love to know people snack. there are quieter snacks. it’s not my enjoyment this time). there’s much to look forward to (even though Orpheus taught us to look back. just once. doom your narrative. it’s life). I remember to put on joint tape and forget to stop jumping (I’m a child. my body is nothing without the love I have for it). winter is my favourite season (I find myself to be alive in the sunshine. what better way to feel than warm in the cold). there’s much to look forward to (when the ocean is aqua. the next sunday. rain. clear starry nights. snacks. looking back. jumping. warmth). there’s much to do then, before all this (life.)
what’s there to look forward to (much).
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Title: you and me alone
Author: AMereDream ( @a-mere-dream )
Relationship: JiuYuan ( Shencest )
Timeline: Canon Divergence / AU
Status: Complete
Rating: Teen
Length: Middle (8+K)
Summary:
In which Shen Qingqiu, angry and so very alone, decides that if the world will not give him a companion, then he will simply make one.
Shen Yuan comes into being knowing very little, but loving every part of it.
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A poem, for the first time in a while.
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I wish I didn’t give you my heart.
It turns out, you didn’t deserve it.
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When the stars align
I know that I’m alive
Just sleeping.
Dreaming, fast forward somewhere
Keeping me up until the morning.
I suppose I teleported here.
And then Im kept awake by the birds,
they always sing.
Even on Monday’s.
Perhaps,
It’s not a bad day in this lived in home.
Perhaps,
I am just sleeping, and tomorrows gold.
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#badpoet #badpoetry #poet #poetry #badwriting #badwriter #writing #writers #bukowski #allenginsberg #goth #gothic #emo #outlets #vampires #🖤 #dark #darkpoetry (at San Jose, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmIMi72PDy1/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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Kleenex
Alabaster petals frill my body
A softness to give, I reach out,
You reach back, I flutter free
A puff of succour, spotless cloud,
Wettened by mouths, by fingers,
I fall limp, unblooming shroud
You're taking, the question lingers:
Do you prefer me small?
Or like breaking me down?
A little emptier, I peer above,
Taking
And away my layers are flaking;
To be used and crumpled is love
And I've been loved well;
The box gapes empty,
A wound, a womb, your pit of hell,
Taking, taking
means you love me plenty,
So take and crush this cardboard shell
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If I write the words down
And burn them
Will they vanish with the smoke?
The burden of unspoken feelings,
Held back by the damn of silence
That we built between us,
If I let the words out,
Perhaps they will let me be.
Set them on fire
To set them free.
Without you there to listen,
I have forgotten
How to speak.
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One year to a decade ago - 22/01/24
Feels like I left Mackelmore down
And that dude was rapping for me specially
we’re so alike.
Feels like I left Mackelmore down, afterall
Getting on the internet and checking a new hit
as soon as I wake up, and I’m not
even choosing to check on hits
simply scrolling to get my fix
and stumble upon argentinian chicks
doing some good
rock’n roll.
jolt out of the bed,
gracias chicas,
It’s not so bad when there's music playing,
even if your two weeks deep in a bedroom mess,
I feels like you’ve lost the plot, if not the book,
What’s the relation between dopamine and dope?
And for how long I’ve been addicted to the feeling
That there is something wrong?
Skateboards and bullying some
ten years ago,
I couldn’t fight the past, nor let go.
But I look around and there's nothing here,
only online echoes of a past life, where I
only had one tattoo.
some ten years ago.
And fucked up, stumble
tripping on my own legs wherever I went
Lamenting, wherever I go.
But that’s that
So much times past
what's in this week,
to dissect
was it that spliff?
was it the sext?
Was it the lack of weight lifting?
Pluto shifting?
I wake up at noon,
and know
that yesterday
makes as much difference
as some ten years ago.
Pacifica playing riffs on my phone,
Rock’n Roll.
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why do i see you everywhere?
it's ended now, i suppose. has been for quite sometime.
yet i can't help but search for you in every space that i might catch a glimpse of you.
my eyes wander to every tall man, searching for that face of indifference.
and on days when my wistful longings come true, i turn away from your dark brown eyes.
when is the day i stop?
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Escape
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You
I think I hate you. No I know I do.
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It’s sad isn’t it meet a a girl and think damn this is it
But she ghosted and ruined it. Had you thinking she was really into this
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Aphrodite's palimpsest
Aphrodite
“Slender aphrodite,
Has overcome me
With longing
For a girl”
I was so happy when I found that pink slip
What now though
I was so thrilled when we met in the hallway
What now though
I was so sure when she loved someone else
What now though
I was so pleased when I thought they could love me
What now though
I was so sure I could convince myself to love them
What now though
I was so blessed when you sent him to me
Wha† now
What now, please, please what now
My dear Lady
Don’t smite me where I sit
Where I hammer away at these keys
Keys so different from those
In your sweet palm
That unlock fate
With each stroke
Where I only make silent noise
But please
Your majesty what happened |
You took those keys
Showed them to me
But they unlocked nothing
Your plan
I know you had it
It was all too purposeful
Kismet
And now
And now I’m without the map
And I’m stranded
And it was all a lie
And Please, please my Goddess I’m so0 sad
And so scared
Please
Tell me before it’s too late
Before I go numb
This cold is slipping into my fingers
And I couldn't burn the rose for warmth
My dear angel
Did i do something wrong
Because all my heart feels
Is empty
When you filled your cup
With my hand in yours
Know I am so thirsty
In a desert
And you, where have you gone
Tell me, tell me please
Apollo can’t speak for you
He holds my hands but I have to turn away
Because I feel so dumb
I’m flushed pink
And I hate pink
But for you I tried to love it
And he can’t make this blush go away
Burned by the sun when he tries
So it must be you
I never meant to bend the keys
But i guess that is my MO
So maybe that’s the answer
You tried to help me
To give a makeover to the dork at the beginning of the film
But this is no movie|
And I am no protagonist
And you have no time for these follies that lead nowhere
You tried your best to mold this clay
Into something lovable
But walked away when you realized
I am a hopeless
Useless endeavor
So i am left unfinished
A torn up manuscript of your hand
Journal with dates left blank
It’s okay
I am not mad
I promise, lady of love
I have to cry though
Forgive me
And the twin archers can hug me
Because they deal with my fate
Something there may still be hope for yet
But you had to leave
Because dealings of love
Cannot be meant for me
When I am this
This.
Sorry for letting you down
Goddess
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