Vox: Save your little project or fight your greatest enemy. You can’t do both!
Alastor: I’m sorry… what did you just say?
Vox: You can’t do both?
Alastor: No! I mean the other thing.
Vox: Save the hotel or fight your greatest enemy?
Alastor: HA! You think you’re my greatest enemy?
Vox: Yes! You’re obsessed with me!
Alastor: HA! No I’m not.
Vox: Yes you are!
Alastor: No I’m not.
Vox: YES YOU ARE! Who else drives you to one up them the way I do?
Alastor: Lucifer.
Vox: No he doesn’t!
Alastor: Susan.
Vox: WHO?!
Alastor: Look my chum, I’d say I don’t currently have AN enemy. I am harassing a few different people.
Vox: What?!
Alastor: I like to fight around!
Vox: Okay okay, look. Im fine with you fighting other people if you wanna do that. But what we have is special. So when people ask you who’s your number one rival you say?!
Alastor: Susan.
Vox: NO! Are you seriously saying there is nothing- NOTHING special about our relationship?
Alastor, our aroace king: Woah! My dear, I don’t do “ships!”
Vox: What?
Alastor: As in “relationships”, there is no us.
Vox, immediately after Alastor leaves: *sobs and cuts his photo out of a group photo*
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Record of Ragnarok x Reader but It's Tik Tok Audios (pt 3)
You: Father...Am I ugly?
Adam, as he hugs you: What nonsense. I'm looking at you right now, you're the most beautiful person in the heavens♡
Loki: Uncle, am I ugly?
Odin: Yes, very much.
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You, texting someone: I don't know what to say.
Brunhilde: Here let me do it.
You:...Don't be mean about it, though.
Brunhilde: *deletes paragraph*
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Au where (Y/n) is Poseidon's equally moody and emo child
You: WHEN DID YOU SUDDENLY BECOME UNCOOL!?
Poseidon: WHEN DID YOU START ACTING LIKE A LITTLE BABY WHO SCREAMS AT ME WHENEVER THEY DON'T GET WHAT THEY WANT!?
You: RIGHT AFTER YOU DON'T GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!!
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Raiden: You can't run around like a footless chicken.
You: HEADLESS chicken, big guy.
Raiden: Uh, NO! How's a chicken supposed to run without its head!?
You: How's it supposed to run with no feet?
Raiden: I'M NOT A CHICKEN, (Y/N), WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS!?
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Zeus: SOMEOME SHOULD PUT YOU IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL!
You: SOMEONE SHOULD PUT YOU IN A BOX FLOATING DOWN THE RIVER, G R A N D P A
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You, a new diety: So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
Loki: I dunno, I usually just throw shit at Shiva now.
You: Whose Shiva?
Loki, throwing a water bottle: YO SHIVA!
Shiva, whose STILL RECOVERING FROM R A I D E N: Yeah- *gets hit*
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Angel, scrolling through his phone: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Husk, walks in covered with ink: Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.
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