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#lord of the rings incorrect quotes
nerdasaurus1200 · an hour ago
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Facing the Balrog- Gandalf Swears edition
Gandalf: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!! FUCKFUCKSHIT DAMN IT SON OF A BITCH BLOODY FUCKING HELL! FLY! FUCKING FLY!
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nerdasaurus1200 · an hour ago
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Frodo: What do you want? Aragorn: A little more caution from you. That is no trinket you carry. Frodo: I carry nothing.
Aragorn: Okay boomer.
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elvish-sky · 7 hours ago
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Aragorn: Call the hobbits, they’re not listening to me.
Boromir: I’m not their dad!
Aragorn: Just do it.
Boromir: Ok guys! Line up, let’s move out!
*the hobbits immediately start following him*
Aragorn:
Boromir: no listen LISTEN i’m not their-
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i-shitpost · 8 hours ago
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LOTR AU where Boromir and Legolas are roommates that have a condo...
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And Gandalf likes the Condo so much that he decides that he wants one too-
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Based off of this post by @orgyincamelot
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hetaczechia · 11 hours ago
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Frodo: Hi guys!
Sam: Why is there a bruise on your face, Mr. Frodo and who do I need to kill?
Frodo: Just a thug, don't worry about it
Sam: *jumps out the window*
Merry: You tripped didn't you?
Frodo: Never tell anyone.
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gamgeesgarden · 11 hours ago
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Bilbo: You have no idea what I am capable of!
Thorin: Don’t take it personally, but I feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake.
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hetaczechia · 11 hours ago
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Pippin: I want a piñata for my birthday
Merry: *handing him a bat* I’m pretty sure Boromir has candy in his pockets.
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hetaczechia · 11 hours ago
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Pippin: Have you proposed yet?
Merry: Technically, no, but in my head, we have two kids and a farm.
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hetaczechia · 11 hours ago
Conversation
Boromir: You broke into my car!
Merry and Pippin: We entered your car without your knowledge.
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hetaczechia · 12 hours ago
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Sam: It’s so nice that Mr. Frodo trusts you two enough to sleep around you.
Merry: yeah he looks so peaceful
Pippin, whipping out a SHARPIE: And vulnerable
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hetaczechia · 12 hours ago
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Sam: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Merry: Kind, Sober, and Fully Dressed. Good news everyone, we found the name of Sam's sex tape!
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Conversation
Legolas: When you've been alive as long as I have, you develop a thick skin.
Gimli, walking by: Green is not your color.
Legolas: Green briNGS OUT MY EYES, YOU BASTARD!
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meteors-lotr · 15 hours ago
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Tilda: I'm Tilda, I'm Legolas' step sister. That's not my real name though, it's just a nickname.
Elrond: So what's Tilda short for?
Legolas: Her genetics, I guess.
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glorfindelridesagain · 18 hours ago
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Faramir: I have an idea.
Gandalf: No self-sacrifice.
Faramir: I no longer have an idea.
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hetaczechia · a day ago
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Denethor: Oh please. You wouldn't hurt a fly.
Pippin: You're right. Because a fly is an innocent creature who never knowingly did anything to anybody. You, however, I would maim.
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elvish-sky · a day ago
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Gimli: You’re pretty dumb.
Legolas: Thanks
Gimli: Why are you thanking me? I just insulted you.
Legolas: All I heard was “You’re pretty.” I’m focusing on the positives in life.
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hetaczechia · a day ago
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Pippin, pulling aside the curtain: do you want to - stop screaming, it's just me - do you want to watch Breaking Bad with me
Merry: I'M IN THE SHOWER
Pippin: okay, well, when you're done, do you want to watch Breaking Bad with me?
Merry:
Merry: yeah, sounds good.
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hetaczechia · a day ago
Conversation
Merry: [about Éowyn] And then we had a little eye contact.
Pippin: Eye contact? I hope you were using protection.
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