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feeling-weirdy · 3 years

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Maybe a post Endgame AU where wanda and Vision are both alive but dealing with trauma from IW? Especially vision who's not used to the feeling or nightmares? Just angst and fluff I'm a sucker for

Disclaimer; Thank you for giving me an excuse to start this AU I’ve been thinking on! I realized after I finished writing this that you said post Endgame. I hope it’s okay that I changed that bit.

Posted on Ao3 if people want to be notified of updates!

TW: for a little bit of choking

Peace. Silence. Sadness.

Waves of emotions and thoughts flooded through his mind until he felt himself dissipate into nothingness. Just as he had hoped, Wanda had been the last person he saw before the inevitable happened. It shouldn’t have been her, but it was. She had stood before him, her energy aimed straight for the stone until there was nothing left. 'I just feel you' he had told her and he meant it. Her warmth filled his body until he could feel nothing else. He could die a peaceful death, a gift he had never expected to receive.

His thoughts were put to rest, feeling his mind completely shut down as he found peace. At least until he could feel a small tug.

Suddenly, he felt himself being pieced back together. That couldn’t be right. His programs slowly came back online, his system completely rebooting. Vision remained kneeling in the dirt, but this time the being standing in front of him was not the love of his life. The monster they had been avoiding for so long stood before him, having used the time stone to bring him back to life. He had undone everything Wanda had just accomplished.

“No!” Wanda screamed, Vision felt his attention be pulled in her direction st the sound of her voice.

“Wa-” A large, meaty hand gripped at his throat, raising him from the ground like he was nothing. The circuits and wires in his throat collapsed and his mind began to glitch. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. The mind stone should have been destroyed. It had been destroyed and now...

The lights of his eyes flickered as his programs began to shut down one by one. Vision gasped for air, hoping words would spring forth, but the grip on his neck only tightened. Thanos used his free hand to reach for the stone, a disgusting smile sliding across his face. He could feel his large fingers dig into his metal skull, synapses keeping the stone in place breaking as Thanos ripped it from his forehead. Vision’s eyes had rested on the auburn-haired girl still frozen in fear on the ground.

This couldn’t be it. It couldn’t...

The last of his programs shut down, causing his vision to blackout yet again.

“Wanda!” Vision screamed, his systems came back online in a snap. Had he been asleep the whole time? Raising a hand to his forehead, he could feel the space where the stone had been just moments ago. The intention had been covered by a new plate, but the stone was gone.

His eyes scanned the room, searching for answers to where he was and what had happened to him. The room wasn’t his bedroom, nor was it Wanda’s, but it was familiar. The group had been in this room what seemed like hours ago. Large windows spanning in front of him allowed him to see the vast vegetation that spread across the land, hidden safely behind the barrier that still protected the city of Wakanda. Swirling vectors on the machine next to him caught his eye, proudly displaying the message he had been desperately longing for since earlier this morning.

-SEPARATION COMPLETE-

He recognized the mind stone diagram as well as the detailed breakdown of his internal workings. His consciousness had been fully detached from the mind stone.

Relief washed over him, his head falling in what he could only describe as utter bliss. Shuri had done it. He no longer needed the mind stone to function.

“Ah, so you’re awake.” The girl’s familiar voice sang behind him, his attention falling to her as she made her way around the table. “And how are you feeling?” Shuri immediately set to work, scanning him quickly as he tried to fully process what he just read.

“Remarkable.” Vision reached up again to where the stone had rested previously, the lack thereof having been extremely obvious. It was going to take some getting used to not having it there. “It’s almost like...a weight has been lifted from my mind. There is certainly a difference, yet I feel the same.”

“I wouldn’t worry. It will take some time to get used to, but you are fully disconnected. No mind stone required.” Shuri smiled at him, pride swelling in her chest. Not at all hiding the emotions that she certainly felt at her accomplishment. Despite whatever happened here, she had no doubt been hard at work focused on her job.

Scanning the area once again, he noticed how entirely empty the room was. The shock of reawakening having completely distracted him from those he wished to be reunited with. His eyes widened, the thought of Wanda’s screams filling his memory. “Where are Wanda and the others?”

“Wanda is on her way now. She should be here any minute.” Pressing a few buttons on the display she summoned from her wrist band, her confidence bringing him a good deal of comfort despite what he had seen.

“And Thanos?”

She was quiet for a moment, uncertainty clouding her face making it difficult to discern the meaning behind her silence. Even from the small distance, they held between the two of them, Vision could see how desperately she was trying to not make eye contact with him. Forcing herself instead to focus on the display in front of her. Vision climbed off the table, pushing himself up into a standing position with a grunt. He didn’t like how quiet she had suddenly become.

“Well? Where is he?” Her face contorted, looking away from him for several moments. With a deep breath, Shuri walked toward him, placing a hand on the center of his chest. Putting a gentle pressure to his chest, she nudged him back towards the work table.

“You should really get some rest. And I really should run some more tests before you get up and about.” Shuri shook her head. “There will be time for answers later.”

“My functions are working perfectly, but I must insist that you answer the question.” Vision stepped forward, his voice becoming more firm as he felt irritation bubbling up inside of him. Shuri took a step back as he came forward. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself.

“Vis?” A familiar soft voice spoke up from behind him causing his body to turn in one swift motion. Wanda stood across the room, her eyes filling with tears. Her hands lifted to her mouth in disbelief, her legs wobbling slightly, taken aback by the very idea that he was alive.

“Wanda...” Her name dripped from his mouth, a smile forming on his lips as he watched her.

“Vis!” Wanda ran across the room, quickly closing the distance between them as she jumped into his arms with a laugh. “You’re okay...”

“I’m more than alright now,” Vision said softly, nuzzling his nose into the nape of her neck. Her warmth overtook him, allowing him to fully relax. He trailed kisses up her neck, across her cheeks before reaching her lips, crashing their mouths together in one euphoric kiss. The stress and the collection of emotions they had felt over the past few hours preparing for this moment all came out at once. Wrapping his arms around her small waist, he pulled her against him deepening their kiss. Wrapping her arms around the back of his neck, Wanda moaned quietly into his mouth desperate for more.

Shuri cleared her throat from behind them, forcing him to pull away.

“I do really need to have you checked out first,” Shuri said awkwardly, completely aware they had completely forgotten she was standing there.

Vision ignored her, focusing his attention back on Wanda. While he had been caught up in their reunion, he hadn’t forgotten the small limp she carried as she ran to him. Something had happened to her and he was going to find out what.

“Are you alright, my love?” Concern filled his voice, allowing his hand to fall down her arm and grab her wrist.

“I’m fine, Vis. I really am.” She was relieved, happy beyond measure, but even he could see that behind all that there was something more they were pushing down.

“And the others? What happened?”

Wanda and Shuri shared a look. “He removed the stone. Thankfully...” Wanda sighed happily, gripping onto his hand. “Shuri had already completed disconnecting you from the mind stone. You don’t need it anymore.”

“So what you’re telling me is that he has possession of the mind stone.”

“He does...as well as the other five.” She paused again, squeezing his hand. “A lot of people are gone, Vis. Steve, Tony, Bruce...a lot...b-but you’re safe. I’m safe. We’re here together. Everything’s going to be fine now.”

It was a lot of information to process in just a few short sentences, but even he couldn’t stop the strange wave of emotions that followed them, crashing over his systems again and again. Stark was as close to a father figure as he had and had been a dear friend even longer; the fact that he was gone was definitely something worth noting.

“Perhaps...” Vision started, his words trailing off as he reached for the exam table. “Perhaps...I will sit down.” He had seen the way Wanda had grieved the loss of her brother, studied humans coming to grips with their loved ones no longer being there. This feeling that overwhelmed him was almost too much to bear.

“If you’ll lie down here, I’ll check your vitals. Make sure everything is in tip-top order.” Shuri insisted, helping Vision lie back on the table to continue her scans. “Once I am finished, you two can take one of the back rooms for the night.”

“Thank you, Shuri. For everything.” Wanda continued speaking with her, but their voices faded in his mind as he processed what he had learned. Thanos had made half of all life disappear from the universe, including many of their closest friends. The weight of the mind stone had been lifted, but a far heavier one had been thrust on top of him. Vision was going to have to find a way to get them all back.

Shuri spent the next hour running every test she needed before giving him a clean bill of health. No abnormalities had been found and it seemed like everything was working beyond how she had expected.

The couple retired to one of the many bedrooms that Shuri had pointed out to them. Having no real preference, they accepted one of the middle rooms before saying good night. Wanda walked into the room, taking a deep breath.

“Wanda...are you sure you’re alright?” Vision asked once more. He couldn’t quite place it, but he could tell something was eating at her mind despite her attempts to make herself appear happy.

“I’m more than fine,” she assured him. “Really. You’re alive. It worked.” A bright smile covered her features as she walked back toward him. “Everything is fine.”

“But everyone else...” His voice trailed off, flashes of memories of those they had lost spilling into his mind.

“Is not our problem.” Her voice was stern, unexpectedly so. “Vision...we can’t keep sacrificing our lives for the team. It seems like all we’ve done for two years is give and sacrifice for them. At some point...we have to look at what’s best for us.” Gripping onto his hand, Wanda looked up at him pleadingly. “I almost lost you three times in the past twenty-four hours. I had to kill you myself...” Her voice broke, sequentially breaking something deep inside him. “I cannot lose you again.”

Pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, Vision nodded. “...Very well.”

“Let’s get a little sleep, okay? We can figure out what to do in the morning.”

Wanda hopped in the bed, the smile returning to her face as she turned to look at him. She pulled the sheets open for him, waiting patiently for him to occupy the space.

After everything that had happened, sleep was the last thing on Vision's mind, but denying her was out of the question. Vision shifted into some comfortable clothes and slipped in the bed beside her. Wrapping his arm around her back, he pulled her tight against his chest. Yet again he had been granted some semblance of happiness and he was not about to let it go again.

Wanda had been right about one thing: they deserved a moment to themselves. However, he could still feel a push inside him; a force deep down begging him to go out and do something. Vision kept the voice at bay, deciding instead to focus on this moment right now. The moment where both of them were alive and could finally be happy.

#scarletvision #wandavision #the vision #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #rini drabbles #post IW AU #I'm ASSUMING people have probably written something similar to this but I haven't done a good job of checking AO3 and actually READING fanf #This may not have a concurrent story but I will probably write a few parts to this if people are interested #otherwise it will just float off into a one off drabble watching Wanda once again break down while Vision stands and watches #I have a bad track record with writing long form fics so I'm not promising nothing but hey request more if you want it #I'll do what I can

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themonkeycabal · 3 years

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WandaVision Episode 9 Spoilers

I can't believe we're already at the finale.

This has been better than I expected, though I didn't have any particular expectations one way or the other. I had hoped it would be bonkers, and it's had its moments, but I didn't expect it to be breaking my heart. I'm glad Wanda (and Elizabeth Olsen) got this moment to shine. It was very well done, and it's been nice to have fun with a Marvel property again. It's been a little while.

My wishlist for this episode is simply that somebody, anybody punch Acting Director Dick square in the face. And also that Jimmy Woo arrests him. A lot.

Other than that, I don't know what to expect, or how they wrap this up in 30 minutes.

Previously on: Wanda finally earned the name Scarlet Witch after Agatha made her relive the worst moments of her life. Harsh, Agatha. Vision uttered a line that launched a thousand gif sets. And Hayward revealed his genius masterplan which is a reactivated Vision, devoid of color and powered by the energy bleeding from Wanda's hex. I'm sure that will go swimmingly for him.

Let's see how this all ends.

Agatha still has magical tethers around Billy and Tommy's necks, which obviously Wanda doesn't like. Agatha gives the boys a tug, knocking them back, and Wanda lets loose, walloping Agatha. The boys are now free, but Wanda tells them to go to their room. They object, she insists, Tommy grabs Billy and they zoom off. Wanda hits Agatha again with a hex, but Agatha sort of collects it into a little glowy ball in her hand. Oops.

"I take power from the undeserving. It's kinda my thing."

Wanda notices her hand turning gray and gnarly — the look of somebody about to be magically mummified. Agatha hits her with a hex and taunts her some more.

"You're clearly in over your little, red head, so why don't you surrender your magic to someone who knows what to do with it?" Agatha, you're pushing your luck. "I'll let you keep this pathetic corner of the world all to yourself. What do you say?"

Wanda says she will throw a car right at your face, Agatha. I laughed. Didn't see that coming, did you? Knocked Agatha right out of her boots.

As Wanda is investigating, Director Dick's white Vision floats down behind her. He's creepy looking.

Wanda walks over to him, staring at him. "Is it really you?"

He puts his hands on her face, all gentle like, but it's a lie. He starts to squeeze. "And I was told you were powerful."

Gross, AD Dick. I hope you get stepped on by Ant-Man when he's being Giant-Man.

Sitcom World Vision (hereafter just plain old Vision) makes a timely reappearance, and takes out Not!Vision. He wants to know where the boys are, Wanda assures him they're safe, and she apologizes for everything and that she should have told him what was happening, "the moment I realized what I'd done". Poor Wanda. He tells her it's alright. She says she can fix it. Not!Vision climbs out of the burning remains of a camper.

Agatha reappears to note the awkwardness of the situation. She asks Wanda who she's going to choose, the ex or the boyfriend. What happens when Wanda hits you with more power than you can contain, Agatha?

Wanda tells Vision "this is our home." He agrees, "then let's fight for it." I hope for the best for you two crazy kids! Marvel has a dicey record on happy endings, though. Sorry!

Vision takes off towards Not!Vision again. Agatha flies off, too, and Wanda follows.

Across the street Monica is pounding on a window, calling for Wanda. Fietro, lounging with a guitar in his … stoner den?, tells her nobody can hear her. Can we talk about how Monica's SWORD uniform looks like ST:Next Gen unis? I can't stop seeing it and it's distracting. Anyway, she tries to escape, but, Fietro is still all fast and stuff, so she's thwarted.

In the sky, Vision and Not!Vision battle. Not!Vision says Wanda must be neutralized and Vision must be destroyed. Hmm. Not!Vision tries to rip out the stone in Vision's forehead but Vision goes intangible. More fighting with intangibleness. It's pretty cool.

Outside Westview, AD Dick is feeling cocky as he watches both Visions on tracking monitors. I loathe him so much. Jimmy Woo is brought in handcuffed by a pair of SWORD goons. I'm sorry, who the f is SWORD? Like, they have arrest powers now? Dick says "hey, it's my favorite member of the Bureau." New wishlist: everybody gets to take turns punching AD Dick in the face.

Dick asks his minion to reconfirm mission objectives while Jimmy listens carefully, mentally noting each and every violation of federal law and the Sokovia Accords.

The minion says she can't get through to not!Vision, his system is overloaded. A cellphone rings on a desk nearby and Jimmy eyes it, then tells Hayward that he'll never be able to cover up these shenanigans.

While Dick is busy boasting and the SWORD goons are doing everything but paying attention to their prisoner (in my head all the SWORD goons applied to SHIELD but Maria Hill laughed at each and every one of their applications and then called Pepper to laugh some more and then texted choice bits to May tagging them "RE: LOL"), Jimmy eases over and grabs the phone.

"Wanda canceled her show,” Dick says with the sort of confidence only an enormous prick can muster, “so there's no footage proving there was ever more than one Vision."

Jimmy points out that that is dumb, because there is other footage, from SWORD HQ and stuff, and probably evidence of tampering. He casually sits on a table, shaking his head, like he's just so disappointed (i'm hoping he's somehow managed to use the phone to record the monolog-ing) .

Dick is still too far up his own ass to notice Jimmy being sneaky. "No one's going to care once I've eliminated Wanda Maximoff. They'll believe that the Vision that emerges from the Westview rubble is the one she illegally tried to bring back to life."

Wait, bringing him back to life is illegal? You're full of shit, Dick. And also, an extremely terrible person, who will destroy a whole town for … something? A Vision weapon? Who are you fighting, Dick? BTW, I award him no sympathy points for surviving in the post-Snap world. So if he's been scarred by that or whatever, I don't care. Trauma doesn't excuse murdery megalomania. As has been said before: Cool motive, still murder. I hope Vision intangibles him into a lamp post that gets peed on every day by a parade of small dogs.

"They'll thank me for recovering such a valuable asset. You could be part of that victory, Jimmy. If only you had a little more … vision" says the smug prick who is asking for it. And by it I mean something both terrible and humiliating to happen to him asap.

Jimmy fake laughs back. "That's a good one, Hayward. Okay, I'm convinced. The trouble is my friends at Quantico will probably have something to say about your plan. When they arrive. Inside the hour." heh.

Oh, poor Dick doesn't like being mocked back. He tells his brain-dead goons to remove Jimmy. The goons throw Jimmy into a … stack of hay? In a fenced in cage thing? As you have on your pop-up military facility. Where he sets to work removing his handcuffs with a clip he also stole, because Jimmy Woo is cool like that. Close Up Magic! See the things you can learn from criminals. "Flourish" lol.

He calls his friends at Quantico. "I was hoping you could get here … inside the hour?"

Back in Westview. Wanda is looking for Agatha while the town goes about its business. Weirdo delivery guy drives by "Don't shoot. I'm just the messenger. ha ha."

Then she gets hit in the back by a purple hex. Ouch. She has hit the pavement hard kind of a lot in this episode already. That hurts, my dudes, I know this from personal falling down experience. Wanda's hand, by the way, is still looking ashy and not very healthy.

Agatha taunts her from a rooftop. "Did you know there's an entire chapter devoted to you in the Darkhold." How could she know that, Agatha? Also, boo the Darkhold. That bit of nastiness led to the Framework, and I'm still a little scarred by that myself. "That's the book of the damned," says the witch standing in front of a billboard for "Squeaky Shine" lol.

Agatha produces the Darkhold and recites from it, "The Scarlet Witch is not born, she is forged. She has no coven, nor need for incantation." Wanda insists she isn't a witch, nobody taught her magic.

Agatha continues, "Your power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme" Steven Strange will like that. Not much. He's so twitchy about things like that. "It's your destiny to destroy the world." Always with the destinies. FREE WILL FOREVAH!

Wanda insists she's not the Scarlet Witch thingy. Agatha says "oh really?" and uses her mojo on Emma Caulfield. Hi Emma Caulfield! She seems to be 'awake' and introduces herself to Wanda (who knew her as Dottie) "My name is Sarah. I have a daughter, she's 8, maybe she could be friends with your boys. If you like that storyline. Or the school bully, even. Really anything, if you could just let her out of her room. If I could just hold her." Wow, ouch.

Speaking of free will or the lack of, Wanda accuses Agatha of doing this, but Agatha says "She's your meat puppet. I just cut her strings." Poor Wanda. And now Agatha wakes up the whole town, who all head towards Wanda.

And we cut to Fietro's den of manchildness. Monica asks what that place is, but come on Monica, it's clearly a den of manchildness. Fietro is making himself a smoothie and explaining the purpose of a mancave — chillaxing.

Monica ignores him and rifles through his bills and whatnot. She finds a headshot of Fietro with the name "Ralph Bohner" underneath. Because, people just keep their headshots lying around willynilly. Wait, are we saying Ralph is an actor? Lol.

Fietro meanwhile is planning for a Steven Segal marathon — my dad and I watched all of those movies and for the life of me I could not tell you why. We didn't *like* them. I mean, mostly we laughed, but still. Why?

Anyway, Monica is trying to solve the mystery of Fietro. It's not Agatha's house (obviously) it's Fietro's (Ralph). He's an ass and asks if she wants to fight some more, so she flips him over her shoulder and pins him down, trying to figure out how Agatha is controlling him. With her new glowy eyes, she notices the bead necklace he's wearing sparkles in a magically way. She rips it off and Fietro becomes Ralph.

Elsewhere the Visions are still battling in the sky and the boys are watching from their bedroom. They lose sight of dad, but Billy gets a vision of mom in trouble in the town square. He and Tommy run off.

The townsfolk are confused and scared. Wanda tells them they're all going to be fine. "When you let us sleep, we have your nightmares." Ouch. Wanda insists she kept them safe. Wanda, sweetie, you're very far in over your head.

"You feel, you feel at peace," she tells them, kind of hoping that works. It doesn’t. "We feel your pain." "Your grief is poisoning us." "Please let us go." This is an awful thing to do to Wanda, Marvel!

It escalates with all those voices begging her to free them and she screams, grabbing her head, and when she does that, red light appears around the throats of the townies, silencing them, choking them. Wanda realizes and puts her glowy hands up "stop, stop, I'm sorry", releasing them all.

"If you won't let us go, let us die." Wanda promises to let them go. Agatha wonders what's stopping her from actually doing it.

"Heroes don't torture people." Agatha's a very sink-or-swim kind of teacher.

That does the trick and Wanda throws her arms back and yells to the sky, releasing her power up at the hex surrounding the town. "Go, all of you. Now, go." The people run and the town flickers through the eras and the barrier starts to fall.

Outside, Director Dick tells his morons "this is it, we're going in!"

The Visions keep on battling, but as the barrier falls, Vision starts to falter himself. I was afraid of that.

The Morons roll in with their big trucks and big guns because … reasons. I have a very low opinion of SWORD. Maria Rambeau's agency deserves better than this shitshow.

Vision falls and it looks like bits of him are chipping off. He hits the ground hard, he gets up, but he's glitching, too, falling apart as Wanda takes down her spell. He reaches for her. The boys appear now, too, screaming for mom, but they seem to be flickering as well, flying apart in pixelly pieces. Poor Wanda.

Agatha says "Now do you see? You tied your family to this twisted world and now one can't exist without the other." This is terrible. "Save Westview or save your family." TERRIBLE.

Wanda pulls the hex into herself again, recreating the barrier. The kids and Vision recover and run to her. Outside, as the hex closes, Jimmy Woo is, yet again, left to stare at the barrier, cut off from the fun inside. Poor guy, lol. But, his FBI buddies are arriving, so at least he won't get lonely.

Agatha throws a hex at Wanda and Wanda throws up a shield to protect her family. Which Agatha starts to draw towards herself like the magic vampire she is. Greedy Agatha. Wanda's arms are all gray. And SWORD rolls into town square, because that's what this confrontation needed — these dipshits.

Anyway, the Family stands ready to face Director Dick and his morons, in a quality recreation of the Incredibles family pose. "Listen boys, your mother and I never really prepared you for this," dad says. Because your boys are like three days old, Vision, it's okay. "But you were born for it," Wanda assures them very fiercely. Get 'em, sister!

As they square off, Vision's like "oh crap, it's the other me, back in a mo'" and flies off to tackle Not!Vision who's trying to sneak up behind them.

They destroy the town library and Vision wants to know why Not!Vision gotta be like that. "My programming directive is to destroy the Vision."

Ha ha, says Vision, a loophole. "But, I'm not the true Vision, only a conditional Vision."

Hmmm, says Not!Vision, and they stop fighting, "I request elaboration". Hey, Vision, move into Not!Vision's body and you can be true Vision again! Problem solved, my work here is done.

Back to the street where we find Dick and his Morons and Agatha who is not making this situation at all better. The morons point their guns at Agatha who magics them up off the ground like thirty feet in the air, "Same story, different century. There will always be torches and pitchforks for ladies like us, Wanda." I'm not going to say you're wrong, Agatha, and God knows these SWORD morons are morons, but you're also a pain in the ass. So …

Anyway, then Agatha drops them and Wanda reaches out to catch them. But once caught, she does let them drop the last five or six feet. They'll be fine, but also they deserved it, so I laughed.

"Boys, handle the military. Mommy will be right back." They're my new favorite family.

Wanda flies up to tangle with Agatha and Agatha is super ready except … Wanda throws a curveball and disappears. Suck it Agatha.

Down on the ground the SWORD morons continue to cover themselves in glory and point their guns at CHILDREN. I don't care if they're powered children, you know what I'd like, I'd like if one of the morons would just be like "um, but … they're kids and how about no? I'm going to get Jimmy Woo! He'll know what to do. Don't try and stop me!" That doesn't happen.

Billy freezes the soldiers in place and Tommy super speeds by and steals their guns and hats. AD Dick, being the absolutely loathsome, vile, lower-than-a-maggot, piece of shit that he is, gets out of his humvee and shoots at the CHILDREN.

Monica, who has just arrived to the party, runs and throws herself between Dick and the boys, taking the bullets meant for them. Her new powers render her sort of … I don't even know. Not quite intangible, but she kind of looks like a ballistics gel dummy and the bullets go through her but they slow down a lot as they pass and then just sort of fall on the ground. Dick, crossing the line into pure evil, fires again, the bullet misses Monica and heads towards Billy, who just raises his hand and stops it with his power then he grins at Monica.

"Nice tricks," she tells him.

"I like yours, too," he says.

Dick tries to fire AGAIN! But he's out of bullets. He only had four? Or maybe his gun jammed. Anyway, like the brave man he is, he runs to the humvee, gets in, reverses at speed, stops and looks like he's going to put it in gear and drive at them because the dude is unhinged. But! Lo! It's Darcy and the funnel cake truck, that is apparently built like a tank, though come to think of it, it probably was an armored vehicle in the real world.

Anyway, she t-bones Dick's vehicle, thwarting his evility for the moment. "Have fun in prison." Lol

Back to the Visions. They're having a philosophical debate. "You are familiar with the thought experiment "The Ship of Theseus" in the field of identity metaphysics," Vision prompts Not!Vision.

"Naturally." And Not!Vision helpfully spells it out for us. "The ship of Theseus is in a museum. Over time its planks of wood rot and are replaced with new planks. When no original planks remain, is it still the ship of Theseus?"

Vision presses his advantage, "Secondly. If those removed planks are restored and reassembled, free of the rot, is that the ship of Theseus?"

To sum up, neither is the true Vision, both are the true Vision.

"But I do not have the mind stone," says not!Vision.

"And I do not have one single ounce of original material," replies Vision. "Perhaps the rot is the memories. The wear and tear are the voyages. The wood touched by Theseus himself."

Not!Vision says he doesn't have the memories, though, but Vision insists he does, the data is still there, hidden. Not!Vision says nah, Vision must be the true Vision because he believes himself to be. But, Vision says that's not true anymore, he plays the reverse card, "upon meeting you, I have been disabused of that notion." This is the most philosophy nerd game of 'not it' ever.

Vision continues to try to get at Not!Vision's memories. "As a carbon-based synthazoid, your memory storage is not so easily wiped. May I?" Not!Vision allows Vision to touch the glowy bit where the memory stone used to be, and Not!Vision is flooded with Vision's memories. Not!Vision's eyes go … normal, I guess you'd say, no longer robot-like and glowy.

"I am Vision" he says and flies off. It was a lot to take in, I guess. He needs a little me-time.

I guess we're going to have to go back to calling Vision Sitcom!Vision, anyway, he goes outside and the boys run over to him and there's hugging and stuff.

Agatha stalks them from the rooftop, but it seems she might have forgotten Wanda for a second, because Wanda appears behind her and does that thing she does where she makes you see your worst fear. Enjoy that, Agatha!

Agatha sees herself bound to the stake in the woods again. Her coven dead. Wanda is there in the vision, too. "You see the difference between you and me, is that you did this on purpose."

The coven rise from the dead and shuffle to her while Agatha begs for it to stop. But, then Agatha gets control of herself, I guess, and the undead mummy witches start saying Wanda's name and pointing at her. You're just no fun at all, Agatha.

Now the coven ties Wanda to the stake. "You can't win, Wanda. Power isn't your problem; it's knowledge." That is, actually, very true. Wanda's Scarlet Witch headpiece appears on her all magical-like, marking her as the Scarlet Witch of myth, I suppose.

"Give me your power, and I will correct the flaws in your original spell. And you and your family and the people of Westview can all live together in peace."

If Agatha is so smart, why doesn't she just take Wanda's power, hmm?

"And no one will ever have to feel this pain again. Not even you," Agatha tries cajoling, but that was the wrong tack to take. Wanda gives her the head tilt of imminent ass-kicking, and her powers explode outward, flinging way the weird creepy coven of zombie mummies. Then Wanda knocks them both back into Westview.

She starts hammering Agatha with her powers. "Take it, I don't want it." Vision tries to fly up to help her, but she blocks him with a spell.

Witch fight in the clouds. Every time Wanda misses Agatha, her hexes hit the shield. Outside Jimmy Woo looks on, concerned.

"There's more," Agatha says, "I want it all." Wanda's looking a little mummified, but she's still flinging hexes left and right while Agatha cackles evilly. Eventually Wanda runs out of steam and just sort of hovers there.

"About our deal. Once case, a spell can never be changed." You're terrible, Agatha. Very cruel. "This world will always be broken. Just. Like. You." Low, Agatha. Lower than dirt

Agatha gathers herself and tries to hit out at Wanda with all that yummy power but it just fizzles. Nothing happens. Oh noes, Agatha, what's wrong?

Wanda starts looking like her normal self again and behind her glows a giant rune. Oh, dear, Agatha, you taught Wanda something. When she was missing Agatha and hitting the shield all those times, she was actually casting runes. LOL to you.

The sky is angry and red and stormy. Monica, Vision, and the boys look on.

"In a given space," Wanda says, "only the witch who cast them [runes] can use her magic. Thanks for the lesson, but, I don't need you to tell me who I am."

The Scarlet Witch headpiece reappears and now Agatha has her a fright. I like you Agatha, you're rotten in fun way, but you took it too far, sister. Wanda takes her power back with prejudice and she is transformed into the Scarlet Witch. Updated version of the classic costume. Nice, I like it.

"Oh god," Agatha gasps, "You don't know what you've done." Wanda drops her on the ground more gently than she deserved.

Agatha asks if Wanda's going to lock her up somewhere. And Wanda says, yeah, here in lovely Westview. "I'll give you the role you chose; the nosy neighbor."

"You have no idea what you've unleashed. You're gonna need me." "If I do, I know where to find you." lol

And Wanda turns Agatha back into Agnes. "Hiya, hon. Say, that some kind of getup you're wearing. Did I leave the oven on, or is that just you, hot stuff."

Wanda says goodbye and walks over to her family, kissing her boys.

Vision says their dream home has turned into a fixer-upper. "I know you'll set everything right. Just not for us."

"No," Wanda agrees because Marvel likes to hurt us all. "Not for us."

Monica kind of bounces on her toes, trying to get Wanda's attention, but probably also not entirely wanting Wanda's attention. Wanda gives her a hesitant nod as she and Vision leave with the boys.

The field around town starts to shrink, the circus turns back into the SWORD base.

They get home and tuck the boys into bed.

"Big day today," Vision says. "Your mother and I … are very proud of you both."

"Very proud," Wanda agrees. "You know, a family is forever. We could never truly leave each other, even if we tried. You know that right?"

They kiss their boys goodnight. Outside the window, the field flickers and fails. "Boys, thanks for choosing me to be your mom."

The town of Westview returns to its sad old self, street by street. Wanda turns out the lights in their home.

But, Vision turns one back on. "Oh, I read somewhere, that it's bad luck to say goodbye in the dark." "No, you didn't." You guys are killing me.

Why did this have to be so good and sad?

And finally the collapsing field reaches their street, they watch it coming.

"Wanda, I know we can't stay like this, but before I go, I feel I must know, what am I?"

She touches his face. "You, Vision, are the piece of the mind stone that lives in me. You are a body of wires and blood and bone that I created. You are my sadness and my hope, but mostly you're my love." Stupid show, my screen went blurry there for a second.

Vision cries a bit, they both are a little astonished by the tear.

"I have been a voice with no body, a body but not human. And now, a memory, made real. Who knows what I might be next." Aww, Vision, I love you.

Here comes the field.

"We have said goodbye before, so it stands to reason—" "We'll say hello again." STUPID SHOW why do you have to make me feel things?

The field collapses and everything is stripped back into nothing. "So long, darling." And Wanda stands in the empty lot, in the foundations of the home that never was.

She walks away again. Poor Wanda. And back into town. The people look at her, they don't seem happy. I don't know why she chose to do that, she does have a car. Ah, she's going to talk to Monica.

"They'll never know what you sacrificed for them," Monica says. "It wouldn't change how they see me," Wanda tells her. "And you? You don't … you don't hate me?" "Given the chance, and given your power, I'd bring my mom back. You know I would." "I'm sorry, for all the pain I caused."

Wanda promises to figure out her power and then files off. The End.

Heartbreaking. Good, but heartbreaking.

Mid-credits scene. Jimmy Woo is large and in charge. He's setting up the incident response in town, ordering folks around (in his good natured way).

Jimmy spots his friend. "Monica!" "Authority looks good on you, Jimmy." "Where's Darcy?" "Something about ‘debriefs are for the weak’?" lol "But we can thank her for that."

And down the street AD Dick is being arrested. Nobody punched him in the face. I'm sad. Darcy came closest, I guess. What with hitting him with the very large truck. It will have to do.

Monica is summoned to the theater by another agent. Hmm nobody there. The agent follows. "I was sent by an old friend of your mother's." And the agent is a Skrull. "He heard you'd been grounded. He'd like to meet with you."

"Where?"

The Skrull points up.

What was Fury's Skrull buddy's name? I don't recall. I didn't actually like the Captain Marvel movie. I felt like they told it backwards, and also they should have just cast a younger actor to play young Nick Fury. That bugged me. And I wanted more of Annette Benning’s character. Anyway … I guess we know where we’ll see Monica again.

Well, that was fun. Like I said, I'm not sure what I expected from this series, just that it be some degree of fun, I guess. But it was much better than whatever I had half-envisaged. AND SADDER, MARVEL.

Thank goodness for the multi-verse. I'm sure we'll see some version of the boys again. And also Not!Vision, who is probably also Vision at this point, knocking around the world, trying to find himself. Talk about identity crisis. I feel you, brother. Stay safe, get plenty of whatever passes for rest for you!

See you guys in a couple of weeks for Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I WANT NO TEARS FROM THAT ONE! Unless it's tears of laughter.

ETA: FOR THE SECOND POST CREDITS SCENE THAT I MISSED. Stupid Marvel hiding things from me. Thank you, @beelzebufo

Mountains, a mountain lake, a place I’d like to be right now. Wanda sits on the porch of her lonely little cabin. The tea kettle whistles and she goes inside. There’s a rattling and whispering from the other room, where the astral projection(?) of the Scarlet Witch reads the Darkhold and her children call for her. I don’t know, Wanda, seems dicey, that’s not a very nice book.

FOR REAL THE END THIS TIME

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #wandavision liveblog #long post

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orderoftheavengers · 3 years

Photo

Scarlet Legilimens

House: Ravenclaw

Species: Human/phoenix hybrid (formerly human)

Blood Status: Pureblood

(Pointless) Wand: Cherry, 13 inches, phoenix feather

(Pointless) Broom: Firebolt Supreme

Patronus: Red-billed firefinch

Specialty: Legilimency, Occlumency, Flying, Dark Arts, Wandless Magic

Sorting

Wanda Maximoff is a living example of how the traits of Ravenclaw House may be applied to the most heinous villainy, and the most self-sacrificing heroism. As a villain, she is crafty and manipulative; as a hero, clever and intuitive. Her fighting style, for good or evil, is always more sneaky and innovative than “bold.” Ironically, her mind is also her weakest point as well as her strongest, as poor Wanda continuously ends up as the manipulated as often as the manipulator. A born Legilimens, her abilities, strengths and flaws are all mind related.

Note the “cleverness” and “ready mind” mentioned by the Sorting Hat needn’t always come in the form of a bookish nerd, as Luna Lovegood, Sybil Trelawney, Profeesor Quirrel and Professor Lockheart are all Ravenclaw. Wanda may not spend her free time studying or watching the Discovery Channel, but she does spend much of it experimenting with her powers, and letting her imagination loose. When faced with unbearable loss, she wasn’t immediately able to face her grief head-on, like a Gryffindor; nor, as a corrupt Ministry leader lied, did she try to resurrect her lost lover; instead, she escaped into her own mind, imagining up an (almost) complete fictitious life for herself and Vision, in a matter of seconds, without even realizing she was doing it.

Wanda is capable of impressive courage, ambition and loyalty, to be sure; but all of those things have wavered, when her reality was turned upside-down. She shed years of indoctrination after reading Ultron’s mind and seeing the grim truth. (And yes, she can read a machine’s mind! That’s a Ravenclaw right there.)

Durmstrang Experiments

Wanda and her twin brother Pietro were born to wizarding parents, in the tiny European nation of Sokovia. Wanda was a born Legilimens, like Queenie Goldstein, able to peek into others’ minds without having to perform any spells. A poor family, their father made ends meet by enchanting posters and lobby cards of old Muggle sitcoms to play out entire episodes, which he then sold to Muggle-enthusiasts in the wizarding world. Their home was decimated by a spell invented by Tony Stark, who never intended for it to end up in the claws of banshee terrorists. The twins ended up in a crap Muggle orphanage, which only intensified their prejudices. By the time they entered Durmstrang, a school infamous for professors that supported Dark Magic and even Voldemort, they were ripe for indoctrination and radicalization.

Due to Wanda’s being a Legilimens, the twins were selected for a dangerous experiment by their headmaster Professor Beowulf Von Stucker. Using the Mind Stone, the twins were to be fused with their wands. Wanda’s first name suddenly became very appropriate, a la Remus Lupin. Wanda merged with her phoenix-feathered wand, transforming the born Legilimens into a powerful human/phoenix hybrid. Her telepathic powers were enhanced, and she gained many powers of a phoenix, including flight, inhuman strength for her levitation spells, and being nearly indestructible. Being part wand also made her able to do wandless magic with no effort. Pietro, meanwhile, was merged with his Veela-hair wand, making him a human/Veela hybrid, and gifting him with a Veela’s dancing speed and silvery hair.

(A very special thanks to AlasterBoneman for the idea about Wanda's wand being integrated into her body.) Order of the Avengers Wanda and Pietro are finishing up their first year when they cross paths with the Order of the Avengers, and they don't exactly make a good first impression. Their vitriol against the Avengers and Tony Stark makes very little sense, especially given that Wanda is a telepath, and should easily see they aren't the villains (not to mention how much she has in common with Natasha, whose life story Wanda personally digs up). But, the twins are still only about eleven, and kids that age can be pretty stupid. The Avengers trace Loki's confiscated broom-scepter to Durmstrang, where the dark wizards from the Order of Hydra are keeping it. Wanda, having recently studied with a Boggart, uses her Legillimency to make the Avengers relive their traumas. Tony's fear shows Wanda that he clearly wants to protect the world, and yet she makes the very un-Ravenclaw decision to keep pursuing "revenge." Her plan inadvertently leads to Tony and Bruce accidentally creating a dangerous and ear-bleedingly-irritating gargoyle named Ultron, who the twins personally work with. Wanda even shocks Bruce into green-wolf form, and sends him on a rampage through one of the dormitories at Durmstrang (but it's not her or Pietro's House, so she could care less). Finally, after much too long, she puts her mental powers to some use, and reads Ultron's mind. That's when she puts two and two together. By then, Ultron has unleashed an army of Cornish Pixies to levitate Durmstrang Castle miles into the air, planning to drop it in an explosion of magic that will alert the Muggles to the existence of wizards. Huddled in a swaying castle tower, she confesses her guilt to Hufflepuff Clint Barton. Clint invites her to redeem herself by joining the Avengers. Durmstrang is saved, but sadly, Pietro takes a killing curse for Clint and another first year. wrought with grief and guilt, wanda begins her second year of schooling at Hogwarts, where--after an unusually long time on the stool--she is sorted into Ravenclaw. Her lonely mood is raised slightly when she finds the attractive new Golem, Vision, hovering to the Ravenclaw table alongside her.

The Scarlet Witch Hunt

Perhaps living on her own for a while is what finally helps Wanda regain the confidence to think for herself. When Vision suggests that they both drop out of their respective schools and just run off together, she urges him against the idea. When Vision senses a disturbance in his Mind Stone, she inspects it for him, but reports, “I just feel you.”

They are interrupted by a rude crowd of Trolls under their window, calling for Wanda’s blood. She’s fine to ignore them, but Vision—ever the logical Ravenclaw—is compelled intellectually argue with the Trolls in his lady's honor.

“Wanda is a redemption-seeking-antihero like Tony, who she has not expressed any hatred for since the Ultron fiasco—not even during the whole ‘Civil War’ calamity! In fact, of everyone on Team Cap, she was the least awful to Tony! The only verbal exchange between them during the whole drunk Quidditch match was a brief pout about being 'locked in her room,' which she had no problem with until Hawkeye came and pressured her. She was literally the only person in the Squid prison not insulting him! And just a few minutes ago, when I wanted her to run away with me, she was telling me to keep my loyalties to Stark, and when the news reported him missing she was visibly scared for him! Seriously, where are you Trolls even getting that she still hates Tony?”

One Troll with particularly long horns shouts back, “Well what about that cleavage and slutty red leather? Tony Stark was never a slu—er, wait…”

Vision is now standing in the window frame, unbuttoning his fly.

“Vision?” Wanda asks nervously. “What are you doing?”

A glittering, purple stream poursd out from her boyfriend’s “better wand,” threatening to deface the crowd below.

“Vision no!” she cries, quickly containing the violet river in an energy ball.

Steady hand… she carefully lifts the ball of glistening liquid higher and higher into the air. …Not gonna screw this one up—

“I say Wanda, is that a giant flying donut?” Vision asks curiously.

Wanda glances up, and there is indeed a gargantuan space donut in the night sky, coming right for them. The strange sight distracts her, causing her hand to slip—just as she’s levitating Visions liquids right over said donut.

This enchanted pastry is in fact the vessel of some of Thanos’s most vicious minions. And Wanda has just drenched them in Vision’s you-know-what.

While Wanda gasps behind her hand, Vision suggests, “Let’s go for a walk.”

On their way down the quiet lamp-lit streets, they are soon stopped by a group of Thanos’s putrid goblin children, currently slightly more putrid than usual.

A blue female goblin roars, “Now you’ve really succeeded in pissing us off!”

Before she can stop herself, Wanda blurts out, “Pissed off? Smells more to me like you ‘been pissed on!”

Somewhere, a boxing bell dings, and a badass wizard’s duel begins.

Just when Wanda and Vision are cornered, a train passes by, causing all parties to freeze dramatically for no apparent reason. Wanda tries to make her body move, to take this opportunity to blast her opponents, but some force has her glued in place, as low music hisses theatrically throughout the night. The train passes, to reveal a shadowy figure, posing heroically. Instead of shooting the figure with a hex, one of the goblins simply throws a spear, which the figure catches expertly. Wanda and Vision both know that there is only one person on the planet would could make an entrance with this much ham and cheese.

Steve Rogers dramatically stepped into the light, revealing his fluffy new beard, and the duel gets a bit more epic.

Oh Snap

In the wizarding nation of Wakanda, Black Panther’s brilliant sister Shuri does her damndest to save her fellow Ravenclaw, and safely remove the Infinity Stone from Vision’s forehead. Sadly, Thanos’s forces overwhelm her, and Wanda is forced to kill her lover--the last family she has left. Many would assume only a Gryffindor would have the resolve to do this, but a Ravenclaw’s wisdom and pragmatism can go a long way.

Ever the sadist, that purple f*ck Thanos uses the Time Stone to resurrect Vision and kill him again, in front of Wanda, and even has the gault "comfort" her in a patronizing manner.

And yet, she’s not so distraught when Thanos’s Dusting curse comes for her. It could be that she’s so despaired by now that she welcomes death. Or maybe the half-phoenix simply doesn’t react to dissolving into ash the same way other beings might…

…in any case, she is resurrected over the summer by Bruce Banner. Vision, sadly, isn’t. In her grief, Wanda accidently traps herself and the entire school of Hogwarts inside the Mirror of Erised, but that's another story entirely.

Wand, Broom and Patronus

Cherry wood is associated with some of the most powerful and lethal wands. Phoenix feather wands are considered to have the widest range of magic, and are among the post powerful, yet also the most difficult to tame.

The red-billed firefinch is one of the few bird species where the females sport some red coloring. These birds are tiny and quiet, but very active. They are flexible about where they live and with whom; they can mix with other bird species, and can live in the wild or captivity, provided they always have plenty of space. Their nests are different from other birds', having a dome shape and being low in bushes. Not unlike the hidden fortress Wanda creates, to hide her family. These crafty birds also build mock-nests to fool predators.

AN: This has undergone some changes in both the story and image, since the release of "WandaVision." If anyone is for any reason attached to Wanda's old broom, the previous version is saved in my Stash. I plan to reuse that fire design somewhere else, possibly for Harry's Firebolt in my more serious Potter art.

#wanda maximoff #Scarlet Witch #Hogwarts house #hogwarts au #ravenclaw #legilimency #legillimens #harry potter #mcu #avengers #chibi #fan art #order of the avengers

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finalfrontierpioneer · 3 years

Text

2020 Fic Recs

Okay, I did a fic rec list last year for 2019, and nobody asked for this, but you know what, I’m gonna do another one. Really the only thing I wanna look back on about 2020 is the fic- bc damn there were some good ones!

Same as last year, these are fics that were completed in 2020. (So no in-progress fics here)

So here goes, 20 fic recs for 2020, in no particular order! And full disclosure, these are all totally different ratings/pairings/whatever.

I tried to tag all the authors who had tumblrs, but i probably missed some, and some of them aren’t actually working but hey! the username is there!

Some stucky bc of course

Sharpened Claws by tragicama (Explicit)

Steve Rogers has a unique talent of getting himself into danger. As one of New York City’s best homicide detectives, it isn’t easy to ignore the constant call of trouble and gore. At least, that’s what he tries to tell his overprotective and brooding boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, even if he knows it might be a lie.

Bucky is dangerous, gorgeous. . .and a werewolf. As the Alpha of New York City, he is easily considered the most powerful being in the world. But when Bucky begins to lose his control over his shift, he slowly becomes aware of a bond that sends him reeling, and one he’d never thought possible.

But everything is not as it seems. After a homicide case unleashes a sequence of events that neither Steve nor Bucky are prepared for, they soon find themselves entangled with a danger that threatens to rip them apart. With the help of Steve’s partner and best friend, Sam, Bucky and Steve navigate a dark web of pack politics, masquerade balls, and a crash course in what it means to be a pack, even as a greater danger looms. And one that might succeed in ripping them apart.

These Happy Gilded Years by crinklefries @spacerenegades, nalonzoo (Teen)

Steve Rogers, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and mostly happy disposition, had lived twenty-three years in the world with very little to distress or vex him.

( Steve is wealthy and and charming, with good humor and good temper, doted upon by his mother and the highest of New York Society, with no one to ever criticize or say the word no to him. Well, other than Bucky. But he doesn't count.

He is also warm and friendly and has a talent for matchmaking. Or so he thinks. Actually, he's kind of terrible at it.

Importantly, Steve will definitely never fall in love or marry, himself. He tells everyone this, repeatedly. Well anyway, we'll see about that. )

Jane Austen's Emma, but a little gayer, set in 1890s Gilded Era New York City

Demon Seed by SucculentHyena (Mature)

[Transcript 00:11:48]

MS: You were with him the most throughout the course of events, both before and after. Your account could shed light on something we may have missed.

JB: What difference will that make?

MS: It could make all the difference. Captain Rogers’ case is unprecedented, he’s the most intact victim we’ve ever recovered-

JB: [laughing] You call that intact?

A Noble Steed by alby_mangroves @albymangroves or @artgroves, leveragehunters (Teen)

"You say the Warhorse showed up last night," Sam said in tones of profound doubt.

"Yeah," Steve replied.

"The Warhorse. The Warhorse of legend. Daelland's Warhorse."

"The same as the one on the back of the transit card, yes."

"And he appeared in your living room?"

Steve eyed the Warhorse, very large and very black and giving him a dubious look out of his strange grey eyes. "He's standing in it right now."

"Uh huh," Sam said.

"Hey, I'm not any happier about it than you are."

* * *

Steve's mom had left Daelland long before he was born, following her heart to New York, but she'd raised him on stories of its famous Warhorse. Before she died, he'd promised he'd go back and learn the country she'd come from.

That was why he was in Daelland. Not so Daelland's legendary Warhorse could appear in his living room. But planned or not that's what had happened—now Steve had to figure out what to do about it.

a hat, a horse (a Hyundai), and the will to ride by elkane @elkane, synonym4life @synonym-for-life (Explicit)

After Steve and Bucky rescue their pals from the Raft prison, they decide to dig deeper into Zemo’s involvement in the UN headquarters’ bombing which sends them on a backpacking trip across select European countries. Steve and Bucky believe this is a story about their mission. Scott Lang and Sam Wilson, who join them halfway through, believe it’s a story about their Eurotrip (and they’re probably right). This writer, however, has been waiting to tell you that the fic’s true mission is Steve and Bucky missioning towards missionary.

Follow them on their journey across Europe in tiny cars, packed subway trains and even on skis as they tumble down the Swiss Alps (in a fun way this time!), all the while reigniting untold feelings of the past through inappropriate sexual encounters and terrible communication skills.

someday at christmas (there’ll be no wars) by stevebuckiest @stevebuckyinc (not rated)

A mission on Christmas. Not even on Christmas, technically. A mission after Christmas which means he and Steve and the Howlies will be trekking through the tundra towards possible death on what used to be Bucky’s favorite day of the year. Jesus Christ.

(alternatively: bucky and steve try to make the best of a shitty situation)

the cabin by natalie_nebula (Explicit)

It felt like he… It felt like they were always so close. Everything seemed like it was under control. He remembers hearing Wanda’s voice, seeing a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. He remembers yelling something back at her, telling her to stop, to not come any closer. He remembers a bright flash, then a boom, and ringing in his ears. He remembers a black blur, and hands on his back, around his waist, then—darkness…

After the explosion in Lagos, Steve wakes up in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, and all he knows is that Bucky's the one who brought him there. While Sam, Nat, and the other Avengers try to figure out what happened to their friend, Steve takes the time away to heal—both his relationship with Bucky, and with himself. My cozy, romantic, and introspective Civil War rewrite.

Every Feeling by Nestri (Explicit)

Steve completely surprises Bucky with a visit, scent thick with heat. The Alpha keeps his hands to himself until Steve makes it clear he doesn't want him to.

Halbarry!

A Speedster and a Space Cop get into a Car by ChocolateTeapots @chocolateteapotsvis (Teen)

Hal and Barry embark on their most perilous mission yet: picking Wally up from the airport.

For Halbarry Week, Day 3: First Times “And you just called me Barry, genius”

Crosswind by Cinderstrato (Explicit)

Hal had collected plenty of regrets over the years. What was the weight of one more?

Just A Mark by the_butler @the-butler-fanstuff (Mature)

“What a nerd.”

Barry had been haunted by these words all his life, seeing as they were his soulmate’s mark. It came out during puberty, just like everyone else’s, but by then he was already well on the way to being a ‘nerd’ so to speak. He wasn’t just some guy claiming to be nerd because he was into Dungeons and Dragons or anime, oh no. He was a bona fide science nerd- went to interstate science fairs and competitions even.

—————(Originally a one-shot, now continued)——————

Barry Allen was working at the forensics lab of Central City PD when it waltzes the new transfer from Coast City, Detective Hal Jordan, not just into the lab but also into his life. There’s the matter of them being soulmates- but Barry is unconvinced. Science tells him there’s a likely chance that they’re just platonic soulmates, so Hal suggests an experiment of sorts: they go on three dates, and then decide whether or not they’re just platonic, or something more.

Tired by ceelolights @ceeloilights (Gen)

Hal comes home to Barry still working late into the night.

Last but most certainly not least, Jeronica:

The long way round to heaven by Bearfacedcheek (Mature)

“This could screw everything up. Jesus why couldn’t you just, fucking not?”

“I did just fucking not Jughead,” she retorts hotly. “I’ve been not for months. No one was ever supposed to know, least of all you. So, don’t blame me for what you saw when you invaded a private moment.”

“Oh, my bad Veronica,” sarcasm, his most comfortable armour, wraps itself around his words. “Did my near-death experience compromised your privacy? I’m sorry that my spirit took an astral fucking walk out of my almost corpse and y-”

“Don’t,” she gasps. Her hand flies to her mouth and it trembles visibly as she draws it away. “Don’t say that. Jesus Jughead we almost lost you.”

sadder, badder, cooler by thefudge @thefudge (Teen)

AU. Just who is Veronica's mysterious new husband? (based on season 5 spoilers)

all i’ll ever need is you by whatacoolkid @whatacoolkid (Teen)

jughead and veronica but make it ✨christmas✨

destined to be forgotten by bothromeoandjuliet @kindnessinpain2000 (Teen)

There are plenty of broken things in Riverdale - broken families, broken trust, broken hearts - but in the middle stands the two most broken things of all, Veronica Lodge and Forsythe 'Jughead' Jones.

(Jughead and Veronica learn about the Barchie kiss - this is the aftermath)

I Really (Don’t) Know What I Want by Bella_Dahlia @bella-dahlia (Mature)

There were many potential disasters to befall an average weirdo high school student; when one had an active imagination and a love for John Hughes films, as Jughead Jones did, you sort of assumed you had foresaw the possibilities. Plus, after solving a sordid murder and joining a gang, he really thought he gone through his fair share of teenaged trauma.

Having to fake a relationship to save his best friend from dedicating his life to a mafia and getting punched repeatedly in the process definitely had not crossed his mind before now.

——————————————

Or, Jughead and Veronica don’t really know what they’ve gotten themselves into.

all the lovers with no time for me by Krewlak (Mature)

jeroncia goes to stonewall. that's it. that's the fic.

call it what you want to by an_expensive_imagination (Teen)

“First things first,” Veronica says, reaching up to slide the ever-present gray beanie off his head, “no beanies in college.”

And here’s a one off random spideypool:

Shooting For Your Heart by X_Gon_Give_It (Teen)

“In my defense, I didn’t expect you to get hurt.”

“And I didn’t expect to be run out of town, yet here we are.”

He went suddenly stiff, “Wait...you were run out of town?”

“As if you didn’t know,” Peter grumbled, but when he looked up he did a double-take at Wade's confused expression. “Almighty, you really don’t know, do you?” he snapped the drawer shut, “Well, after that little fiasco by Two-Stone Canyon, a little rumor spread that me and you were in cahoots. The rumor got some ground and it turned the whole town against me. I was run out before I could defend my case. Why'dya think I was out there the other night to begin with?”

<><><><><><>

When Peter Parker, a deputy known as Webslinger, gets accused of working with the West's deadliest outlaw he finds himself on the run from the people he once trusted. In an effort to prove his innocence, he finds himself captured by the very outlaw tarnishing his name.

#fic recs #stucky #jeronica #halbarry #2020 fic recs

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doux-amer · 3 years

Text

The reason Wandavision ultimately was a big disappointment was that it didn’t say anything new or add any depth to Wanda. Some people have argued that we shouldn’t have expected much because this is the MCU we’re talking about, but I hate that logic for two reasons:

Marvel is using the Disney+ series to expand upon characters and plots that they couldn’t/didn’t get to explore in the films

This dismisses the existence of MCU works that have, while dealing with the trappings of being a blockbuster/studio film or “just” a superhero film or show, tried to go beyond that with their stories and characters

You can’t ignore Marvel’s goal with D+ nor can you paint all the works with the same brush.

This was Marvel’s opportunity to give a side character who has been given such shoddy writing the growth she sorely needed. We didn’t get that. Wanda is very much the same person she was in Age of Ultron; we still barely know anything about her besides the fact that she’s powerful and traumatized. She is very much defined by that. Who is she outside of that? Who is she outside her grief? Why, for instance, does Vision love her so much? We know why she loves Vision. In fact, I’d argue that the star or at least the heart of Wandavision was Vision because we learn more about him and see him grow.

There’s no movement, either positive or negative, here. Wanda continues to behave the same way, never learning or truly being shaped by her actions for good or bad in any significant way, and the MCU refuses to commit to making her anything. She isn’t a good hero. She isn’t a good antihero. She isn’t a good villain. They want to make her someone complex, but we’re left not understanding if we’re supposed to root for her despite her troubles or see that this is a troubling evolution towards emotional and moral corruption. Is she a messy hero? Or is she a sympathetic villain?

As a recap, here’s what we’ve seen of Wanda and why I’m saying she hasn’t had any meaningful growth:

Wanda volunteers for Hydra. You know, Nazis? If you want to quibble about whether they’re “technically” Nazis, whatever; they’re still a terrorist organization, and Wandavision explicitly states it as such. Here was a chance to address the awful decision Whedon made, but we get a white woman nonchalantly excusing her voluntary involvement with the world’s most famous terrorist group with a blasé “We wanted to change the world.” This is the most we get from her about this.

Wanda mentally violates and assaults the Avengers. She forcibly traps them in their worst nightmares. She coerces Bruce into transforming into the Hulk against his will, ripping him of his agency and sanity. When Bruce confronts her about this later in AoU, she straight up refuses to apologize. Wanda has yet to apologize to any of the Avengers.

In her thirst for vengeance, she decides to use the Hulk to hurt innocent people, most of whom are black, in Johannesburg. The only reason people aren't killed is that Tony tries to get people out of harm's way, get Bruce away from civilians, and help Bruce regain control before subduing him when he fails. We never see Wanda thinking about what she did in Johannesburg.

Wanda knows Ultron is evil and follows him, standing by as he hurts Helen Cho, yet another innocent civilian POC. She only cares about Ultron’s destructive nature when she reads his mind and realizes he wants to commit global genocide. Wanda is also arguably one of the Avengers most responsible for creating Ultron. Without her, there is no Ultron. Without her interference, we get Vision. We don’t ever see her grappling with her culpability. This is not the case with the others who made Ultron.

Wanda therefore plays a huge role in the destruction of her home country of Sokovia and the countless resulting deaths including Pietro’s. We see her sad, but we don’t see any guilt. We don’t even see survivor’s guilt.

Because she can’t control her power, Wanda commits manslaughter, killing innocent black people in a Lagos hospital. Other than seeing her react in horror at the scene and turn away from the video that Ross shows later, we don’t see how this impacts her or the way people treat her as an individual. She’s briefly detained under house arrest, essentially grounded, a logical response to what happened.

Despite the damage she caused, she flees the compound with Clint to the airport even if Clint doesn’t give her a valid reason for doing so, not before slamming the person she cares about the most, Vision, through dozens of feet of concrete and earth.

Rather than seeing Wanda be reluctant to use her powers after learning she doesn’t know how to control herself, we see her chiding Clint for being soft and taking it easy on the other side. The Avengers are doing that because they’re fighting against their own teammates and friends; they’re acting to escape or subdue. She doesn’t care if she gets people hurt while trying to stop them as evidenced by what she says to Clint and her actions thereafter.

Wanda takes a whole town hostage and mind controls them. All of the people whose identities she wipes and whom she turns into her puppets are in extreme pain. While what occurred happened instinctually rather than as a deliberate, conscious choice, she becomes aware of what she’s done at some point (Dottie’s cry for help, Wanda’s refusal to listen to Jimmy’s message, Monica breaking free of her conditioning, Vision bringing it up, etc.). She doesn’t let them go. She refuses to believe that they’re in pain even when she’s told that. Only when she’s backed into a corner does she let them go. She then never apologizes or even speaks a word to them. (It doesn’t matter whether or not she thinks they’d accept her apology; you don’t apologize on the condition that you’re heard and forgiven. You do it because you should, even if it doesn’t change anything for the people you hurt. She only apologizes to the one person whom she knows will accept her apology/be lenient on her.)

When Monica starts to remember the real world, Wanda gets hostile and slams her through multiple houses, past the ends of town, and through the reality boundary.

When Vision becomes aware of the problem at hand, she repeatedly gaslights him and tries to control what he can/should and can’t/shouldn’t do. She gets upset when he doesn’t act the way she wants him to. She doesn’t apologize to him beyond saying she should have told him earlier which is only part of the problem.

Wanda tells Agatha the difference between them is that while Agatha did what she did intentionally, she didn’t. This isn’t true.

What Agatha says about Wanda is true; she’s cruel. For the third time in a row, Wanda decides to violate someone’s mind and control them. She essentially murders Agatha, even if it’s bloodless and reversible (and she only says she’ll reverse it if she wants to use Agatha).

After the fight is over, she decides to leave Westview rather than face any consequences or help clean up. She leaves the Westview residents with all their trauma and the destruction of their town without a word to them.

In the post-credits scene, she has fled the country and is isolated in a remote cabin, reading a book she doesn’t understand about concepts she doesn’t understand instead of seeking help when she has a terrible track record of self-teaching or understanding her powers.

When you put all of this together, everything screams “villain,” but as I said, the writers refuse to come out and say that she’s that. They refuse to say anything, and maybe you can argue that they don’t have to make it clear right this moment. You can argue that Wanda should be allowed to be messy, just like many other characters in the MCU are.

The thing about that line of reasoning, though, is that those other characters who are messy? The writing acknowledges that, and we see them deal with the ramifications of their actions and they’re held accountable to them. We see them apologize. We see them try to be better people. We see them work to make up for their mistakes or sins. We need to see Wanda do that if we’re supposed to see her as a hero. Or if she isn’t (and there’s nothing wrong with that! Wanda doesn’t have to be a hero, and in fact, she could be a compelling antagonist or villain which can be exciting), well, she still needs to face consequences.

She doesn’t. She is, by far, the uncontested champion in getting away with what she does; yes, we get some handwaving for certain things other characters do, but no other character has nearly all of their deeds and behavior ignored to the extent Wanda does. It’s extremely frustrating to see. We keep seeing a cycle:

Wanda is full of anger/vengeance and/or grief.

She acts from a place of trauma and prioritizes her desires.

Something bad happens.

Often, it’s something she didn’t mean to happen or she didn’t mean to go that far.

She’s horrified or sad.

Very occasionally, she gets a slap on the wrist, but it’s so brief and doesn’t actually change anything that it might as well not have happened. Most times, it’s as if she never did anything and the story never brings up what she did again (unless it’s to show how she’s sad or powerful).

She doesn’t do anything. She does the same mistakes/crimes again. Wash and repeat.

It’s so unbelievably vexing and tiresome. Despite all my issues with Wanda up until Wandavision and, most importantly her casting, I wanted to like Wanda, whether it was as a hero or villain or someone in between. BUT WE GOT NOTHING NEW. I don’t know anything about Wanda even now beyond “vengeful, sad, powerful white woman who is traumatized and clings to family because of that”! This is the SAME EXACT THING we’ve been dealing with since the beginning, and it’s so frustrating. Wanda deserved better.

#wandavision spoilers

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aty-altiria · 4 years

Text

Dreaming in Red

No 18. PANIC! AT THE DISCO Panic Attacks | Phobias | Paranoia

Word count: 1619

Universe: Harry Potter, Marvel Cinematic Universe

Pairings: Fem!Harry/Tony Stark

Rating: M

Themes: Trauma, nightmares, phobias, paranoia, panic attack

Summary: It’s not the first time Tony wakes up and panics over that particular shade of red, nor is it the first time he’s immediately overtaken by guilt; he shouldn’t be that terrified of his wife, but he can’t quite help it when he wakes up and thinks, just for a moment, that the Scarlet Witch has finally come to finish the job.

@whumptober2020

---

Holly entered Tony's shop with a quiet thanks to Friday. From years of practice, she walked in without a sound; Holly's shoes didn't scrap or squeak, she didn't touch anything on the way, and she waved off the bots when they noted her. Holly did all this because the typically loud shop was dead silent, and had been for quite a while. As Holly had trained the AI to do over the previous few weeks, Friday slowly reduced the shop's music when Tony had been up for too long. The AI had figured out the speed after some failures and had managed to find the right tempo to ensure Tony never realized it was happening.

The sad thing was, Jarvis wouldn't have needed to be taught, it would have already been done, and she would have been contacted the moment Tony started to droop. It was another reason that Holly would never forget and never forgive the Scarlet witch.

When Holly found Tony, he was lulled at his desk, his head was drooping, and eyes open but fogged. Tony was a step away from passing out, and Holly knew, if she didn't move him, then he'd been in a large amount of pain from the positioning later. If not for the rather specific potions Holly intended to give him to help, his spine would probably already be done. Which after the scarlet witch, Tony was less inclined to take despite the pain he was suffering.

If this had been a mere month ago, Holly also would have just spelled him the rest of the way into sleep and apparated them to their bedroom. But then… Ultron and Wanda happened. She couldn't do that now.

"Tony," Holly knelt at Tony's side and peered into his eyes. "Tony, come on, I need to sleep, and you know I can't do it without you." A lie, Holly had potions that could help her, and she had used them often when Tony was off on missions or business trips. But Tony, as she'd learned, always put his needs second. So the best way to get him to do anything was to make it seem like she needed help. Hermione had found it hilarious when she'd seen it in action; Hermione had cited that Tony's saviour complex was even worse than Holly's.

Tony's eyes cleared slowly, he blinked blearily at her- and he flinched back.

Holly recoiled, red curls swinging back as she desperately tried to smother the pained hurt from showing on her face. From showing how much she was bothered by her husband's naked fear. Holly hoped Tony had been too sleep-deprived to notice.

She should have known better; she wasn't fast enough.

Tony straightened on his chair, already apologizing: "Shit- Holly- I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-"

"It's fine."

It wasn't.

"It's not." Tony rubbed his eyes with his palms; he pressed down hard to wake himself up because he needed to have this conversation. He'd been putting it off to weeks. Weeks of work to help Sokovia establish the new Avengers, get the team up and running, and fix the problems Ultron had left in his wake. Tony had put in every effort and had avoided thinking about the way he kept flinching back from his wife.

Holly hadn't been there when Ultron activated, nor had she been on the mission that caused Ultron. Tony hadn't blamed her for it at the time. She'd been home dealing with Andromeda, who was steadily growing worse from the dragonpox. When Tony had been placed under Wanda's magic, Holly had been rocking a sobbing Teddy to sleep. So, Holly had a perfectly good reason to have missed Ultron - which had been his fault anyway - and yet Tony's subconscious still wanted to blame her. Because if she'd been at that mission, none of this would have- but Tony was smart enough to shove it back.

If only he could tell himself to stop flinching, to stop dreaming, to stop avoiding the woman he loved. If only he couldn't stop shrinking away from her magic, which he'd had no trouble with before. Or from the habits they'd established long before Ultron and Wanda that suddenly terrified him. I wished he'd stopped seeing Wanda in Holly all because their hair colour was similar. Dammit, he knew they were different when he was awake, Tony knew their magic didn't come from the same place, he knew the differences… and yet.

"It's not okay." Tony pulled his hands away to look at Holly. She'd stood there, steps away to give him space, and he hated it. Hated that it made him feel better. "It's not…"

Holly fluttered, wanting to touch him but afraid to do so. Tony had done that. Dammit-

"Tony, you're exhausted…" Holly bit her lip, shoved back her emotions, "you should sleep… I'll… I have paperwork to do anyway, so… I'll meet you up there?"

She wouldn't. They both knew it. Everything she was saying was a lie, a mask to make Tony feel better.

Wonder what his therapist would say about it.

Holly pulled back farther, curled her arms around herself to smother the hurt as she added: "Actually, I meant to tell you. Andromeda is feeling worse, so, I was thinking about-"

"Don't!" Tony lunged forward to grab Holly's hands, to stop another word from coming out of her mouth. "Don't leave me- Holly-" his mind was too fast and yet too slow; he couldn't get the words out.

Holly's eyes softened, sympathetic and kind as she always was. Sympathetic even though he was actively ruining the one good thing in his life that he had left. "I…" come on, brain! Work, work before she leaves-

"Tony." Holly stepped forward, making him realize he'd been clutching her hands with a vice-grip, that he'd been tugging her forward, toward him.

"Don't leave me." He repeated as she returned to his side, "I… I'm working on it. I'm going to figure it out- it's just her magic- it's-" Tony had no idea what he was saying, had no idea how to communicate this even to himself. But Holly, she understood, even without the words.

"Okay." She allowed Tony to tug her closer and closer until she was all but forehead to forehead with him. "Her magic is unknown, even to her, so… maybe it's lingering inside you." He gripped her hands, firm, a confirmation in itself. "Will you let me take you to Hannah? Maybe we can see if she left anything behind." Like they did for Clint, they'd taken him to Hannah Abbott after Loki, and she'd been able to pull blue magic from his head. It was possible that Hannah could help; unfortunately, Tony also realized Hannah would have to look inside his head to discover the truth. The idea of it… well, he suddenly understood why Natasha had needed to restrain and drug Clint for his appointment. Clint had given permission, but actually getting it done had been hard on them all, especially Clint.

He knew Hannah though, Hannah Abbott was a friend; she was all but family to Holly through Neville. Holly had grown up knowing the woman. Her methods were tried and proven- the thought of someone else inside his head. No. Tony looked at Holly; he couldn't continue to feel fear for his wife. "You might have to tie me down… but yeah, let's do it."

"Okay," Holly swallowed before adding in a whisper, "and… I'm going to dye my hair."

Tony pulled away slightly with a surprised sound. Holly let him do it, but also kept a hold of his hands.

"It's the colour, right? My hair is the same as hers, so when you're exhausted, and you see it… you're seeing her." That was accurate… but Holly loved having her mother's hair. They'd had numerous conversations about it. He couldn't let her do that- "I love you more than I like the colour Tony," she soothed, "and besides, it might be nice to match dad for a bit." She made a small curious noise, "should we try box dye at home? Or a hair-dresser?" she didn't suggest a glamour; it wasn't permanent enough for what she wanted.

Tony swallowed past the thickness in his throat even as his eyes grew suspiciously red. He squeezed her hands in thanks before he said: "Here, definitely."

"Alright. Let's go get some now, there's probably a store willing to open for us."

"What happened to sleep?" Tony teased even as he allowed Holly to pull him to his feet. He had a feeling it would work, it a placebo, but it would work. Tony knew it.

"It can wait, I'm excited now."

Translation, she wanted to sleep with him, and if the hair dye would allow that to happen, then hair dye took priority. Tony personally agreed with the thought. He'd woken too many times the last few weeks only to immediately panic when he caught sight of Holly's hair on the bed.

"Maybe I should do blue, Teddy would love it." She might just to that; Teddy was quite upset because of Andromeda's worsening condition; the colour may cheer him up.

"We'd have to bleach it then, wait… let me research first! Friday!"

#whumptober 2020 #no.18 #MCU #Mcu fanfiction #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #fem!harry potter #Panic Attacks #Phobias #Paranoia #Scarlet Witch #Tony Stark #Harry Potter/Tony Stark

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fasterthanmydemons · 4 years

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🍍🍎🍇🍐 (murder-popsicle)

@murder-popsicle

🍍 : how comfortable is my muse in their body? how do they feel about their height, weight, strength, and body type? how important is being attractive to them?

As far as height, weight, muscle mass, and general appearance, Pietro likes his body. He knows he looks good and likes that fact, heh. At least... on a superficial and immediately noticeable level. If one looks deeper, they’ll see literal scars that bother him a great deal. He has a number of scars on his back from punishments he received while at the Hydra lab, and his right hand is scarred from having a pocket knife forced through it when he was around fourteen while trying to steal food, and from the I.V. port Hydra put into the back of it. He’s ashamed of these scars because he thinks they make him look damaged, and if he looks damaged, then he must be damaged. In an AU after he survives the events of Ultron, add ten or eleven bullet wounds into the mix, one of which went right through that same, already damaged hand. Now he’s got scars on his legs, arms, chest... everywhere. It’s... a blow to his ego, certainly. Pietro doesn’t want to look weak, damaged, compromised, etc. Nor does he want to be ugly. He’s an extrovert who loves attention, but the kind of stares and attention he gets from people looking at his scars makes him want to hide. Pietro thrives on attention, so anything that makes him want to hide himself is something that’s going to really bother him.

🍎 : how stable is my muse’s mental health? have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they or should they attend therapy?

Hmm... define “stable,” heh. He isn’t prone to nervous breakdowns, losing his mind, becoming delusional, or anything like that... like Wanda is. Wanda is prone to a lot of instability and volatility in her mental state. Pietro... is very stable with the proper support. As long as he has his sister, who is his world, and a support system of people who care about him, his parents or other Avengers or whoever, he’ll be okay. But in an AU where he loses Wanda, or in any AU in which he’s left alone to deal with his own emotional trauma, he falls into depression and suicidal thoughts very easily. So I would say he’s overall not totally stable, but it’s a different kind of instability than his sister’s. Wanda’s I would call volatile, while Pietro’s I would call fragile.

He’s never been formally diagnosed with any mental illnesses, but that’s because Pietro had never really seen any licensed doctors. Early on in his life, his parents took care of him and Wanda with a lot of holistic remedies for things, and mental health was dealt with as a whole rather than trying to tease apart things that might be wrong individually. He does have ADHD, PTSD (from his parents’ deaths, being trapped in rubble, the experiments, and being shot by Ultron), insomnia (partially due to his PTSD but also just because his metabolism is so high powered that it’s hard for him to keep a consistent sleep schedule), fear of abandonment (after his parents’ deaths and being rejected by several foster homes), and emotional co-dependency (on Wanda), but none of these things have ever been diagnosed by a psychologist, so he’s never had any therapy or counseling for them other than what Wanda provides.

🍇 : how would my muse describe their childhood? how much has it impacted the person they are now, or will become as an adult? around what age did they or will they start to mature, and why? do they wish to go back to their days as a child, or have they embraced adulthood?

Pietro liked his childhood, so he’d say it was really great, but Wanda being assaulted was the one event that marred it significantly. It made him feel like a terrible brother who had let her down, and so that was the root of him being overprotective of her. Also, seeing the way she was treated after and how people with her abilities were treated, it made him want to shield her from anything like that in the future. And that whole mindset really shaped his life right up until his death in Ultron. He lived his life for Wanda 90% of the time, because he loved her more than anyone in the world and that’s what good brothers do. I think Pietro was still very immature right up until Ultron, but I feel like there’s immense potential for him to mature a lot in AUs where he survives. I think forgiving the Avengers (and at least learning to work alongside Tony) would be a major growth point and would help him let go of some of the anger from his past. Seeing Wanda train and go on mission by herself would also teach him that she can protect herself and that it’s okay if he’s not with her all the time. I think he would mature more and start living more of his life for himself if he saw that, but really... there would always be that part of him that would live for Wanda, no matter what.

🍐 : how intelligent is my muse overall? are they smarter than the average person, or less than? are they primarily self-taught, or did they acquire most of their knowledge in school? are they more street smart or book smart?

Pietro is actually very intelligent. He’s not quite as intelligent as Wanda, but he is above average. What holds him back is his ADHD which makes certain topics and skills difficult for him to learn, and his own pride, which tells him that if he can’t earn something as fast as Wanda or he can’t read something fast enough or he can’t focus long enough to learn something, then he must be dumb as a post. So it’s as much a mental block as it is an actual roadblock for him to overcome. Because of this, sitting down with books or listening to people lecture is never going to be the way that Pietro learns the best.

The twins never formally went to public school. They were taught by their parents, and really had an off-the-grid, heavily weighted towards survival and living with nature sort of life rather than being schoolchildren. So they learned much more by experience, getting out into the forest and learning about herbs, how to hunt, which mushrooms are edible, that sort of thing. It was a lot more experience-based, instinctual, and situational learning than just memorization and recall. Pietro learned incredibly well when he’s interested or when it involves a skill he’ll actually use, because then he forgets that he’s learning something and instead feels just like he’s living life. So hands-on, experience-based learning and being self-taught at many things through trial and error is how he learns best, so he is infinitely more street smart than book smart. Wanda is the exact opposite, heh. She learns well either way, but if Pietro is there to try something first, then she’ll hang back and watch him fail five times and learn the right way to do it, haha. Pietro rather, just gets out there and tries it until something clicks, heh.

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s-trawberryv-eins · 4 years

Text

Happy Anniversary

NOT MY GIF

Summary: One year on.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, descriptions of violence.

Please read here before reading!

Stark!OC x Avengers

Word count: 1393

The Caroline Stark Series Masterlist

It hit Natasha first. The screams that tore from her throat still rang in Caroline’s ears. Fighting to drag her friend from her nightmare, she held her as close as she could until the trashing stopped. Bedsheets soaked with a cold sweat, Stark carried the Romanoff girl away from the scene and set her shivering body down on her own bed. Widow had never spoken about it. But that night she couldn't stop. The fight with Clint; the fall; the brief second of consciousness as her skull caved in before the darkness. Wanda was there in an instant, red mist falling from her finger tips, easing Widow back into a dreamless sleep.

Rhodey was the next to go, Steve hot on his trail. The two seemed to vanish, the Captain and the Colonel taking their places. Sleep was an enemy, besting them both, leaving the two visibly worse for wear in a way that heroes aren’t supposed to look, even to an untrained eye. Throwing themselves into politics and war, they fought desperately and recklessly, as if the warfare would return to them that which they lost.

Pepper tried to hold it together, but it was no secret how she wept when the girls were gone. Mourning not only her husband, but the father of her children, the man who had been by her side for as long as her memory could serve her. It seemed as though she was granted everything she every wished for; but there was a catch, of course - it would never come at once.

Bucky was withdrawn, wracked with guilt. Sam stuck with him, the pair all but sleeping in the gym. Falcon fought to keep Barnes afloat, and they trained and trained and trained until they couldn't keep their eyes open. They'd wake up and do it again. Banner mourned quietly. Dipping into old projects and designs, he remembered fondly, just barely keeping his demons at bay. FRIDAY provided him with updates on the others; as long as he knew they were safe, he knew to let them grieve how they chose to. Clint returned home to his family. Struggling with his new reality, he found refuge in the arms of his wife, keeping a watchful eye on his children. Mourning not only his teammate, but the lives of those he faced during his five years alone.

Nobody noticed the red that seemed to coat the compound. Wanda felt it all. Her teammates bled emotion, it poured from the walls and she felt it all. The Maximoff girl had taken to wandering the halls, eyes looking nowhere in particular as she poured every ounce of energy she had into easing the trauma the building held. Her nights were dreamless, the heavy drowsiness never really lifting from her bones.

Caroline disappeared; access to her lab had been restricted entirely, and she hadn’t been seen for days. Bruises bloomed in violent blues and purples, evidence of her exhaustion getting the best of her as she tried and tried and tried again to fix what was never really broken. Refusing to acknowledge her grief, she worked herself to death and back, ignoring all pleas from the AI to rest.

Peter had shown up, eyes silently begging for comfort. Snatching Morgan up into his arms, the two hid from the darkness that loomed, and they pulled on whatever thread of happiness they could find. When Peter cried, Morgan asked why. Where is everybody? Why are you upset, Petey? He’d explained softly, and the far too well-adjusted girl clung on to him until his tears had calmed.

Sleep brought terror filled images. Flashbacks to a bloodied battlefield riddled trauma filled minds. Recalling every bruise, every life taken, every life lost, every drop of blood spilled on the ruins of their home. Sacrifice. The word means nothing to them. A whole universe, moving on and healing. At what cost? A small price to pay, they said. A mantra they’d adopted after the Battle of Earth.

How many had they buried? What about the ones who died as a result of the snap, but not in it? What about the parentless children and the childless parents? How many of them had to die for the rest of the world to be safe?

After a week, it changed. Banner had found Natasha and Wanda curled up together on the sofa of the common room. A movie played quietly, as not to disturb the others. Dropping his lab coat on the back of a chair, he joined them. No words were exchanged, but snacks were shared, and soft smiles appeared. It didn't take long for Sam and Bucky to find them, gracelessly plonking themselves down around their teammates. Their bodies were stiff and screaming for rest, and upon seeing their friends again, they gave in.

The movie finished, but nobody dared to move. It felt fragile. As if it wasn’t quite real, and the slightest of movements could scare them all back into hiding. It wasn't until they heard the familiar sound of a landing Quinjet that they moved. As if moving as one, the heroes shuffled their way over to greet the incoming. The stoic Captain stepped off the jet first, followed by an even icier Colonel. Creeping forward, Wanda approached the two with abandon. Taking their hands in hers, she began to walk them back over to the waiting team. As the mist poured from her fingertips, it seemed to wrap around their hands, winding up the soldiers' arms. Their demeanours softened, and they allowed the girl to pull them along with her.

They understood now; this game they were playing. Waiting, as if setting a trap for the others. They waited and waited. Movies continued to play, the volume increasing to lure the remaining out of the darkness. The silence seemed to die down, soft words exchanged between the gathered. A discussion about a family meal that evening. Debating who would cook. Rhodey’s useless in the kitchen, but nobody is as bad as Natasha, they said. Bucky can cook! Wanda can definitely cook! Wait, wait, wait...Bucky can cook? A faux angry glare and a smile silenced that issue.

A loud crash and the clanging of metal stole their attention, the movie once again being forgotten. Pained groans could be heard, followed by the shrieking laughter of a Stark up to no good. Tiny footsteps grew louder, and before long she stood in front of them. Eyes wide and French plaits falling out messily around her face, Morgan greeted her aunties and uncles with a smile before sitting on the sofa and playing innocent. Peter suddenly rounded the corner, lungs screaming for air and the looked of a seasoned big brother on his face. No explanation was provided, Peter merely caught his breath and lifted the girl on to his knee, where they settled down with the rest of the team.

Hours has passed and there seemed to be no sign of Pepper nor Caroline until the door swung open, the former demanding that somebody tend to her daughters’ injuries. With a split lip and a chipped chin, Caroline seemed to have taken more of a beating than the rest of the team combined. Sitting her down at the table, Bucky and Natasha pulled out a first aid kit to clean the girl up. The bruise on her temple was a cause for concern, the supersoldier scolded her for being so careless.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Wanda set down four large dishes of lasagne on the table. The supersoldiers all but lunged for a plate, shovelling the pasta onto their plates as if it was their last meal. Bruce served drinks, and Sam handed out some cutlery. Of course, the food was delicious. Wanda was very talented, and Bucky knew his way around a kitchen from way back when, taking on the responsibility of cooking when Steve was too sick. They made a good team, everyone agreed.

Grief lessened her grip on the compound, and whilst they knew she’d return, they took notice of what they had. As they sat in the kitchen, a slow but sure progress appearing, they each realised that this is how they’d heal; together. Because through everything; through war and torture and loss and weakness, this was the constant they could cling to.

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machi-kun · 4 years

Note

Thanks for answering my question! And I’d love an in depth explanation of the compatibilities if you’re offering!!

of course! it’s no problem at all, I actually have a lot of fun talking about stuff like this SJDFSKDJFHKDJFS Here’s a brief explanation of why I put them in that order:

1. Rhodey: I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory. Despite Rhodey’s attitude being a little more uptight at times, you can see, in canon, that he’s just as dynamic and wild and capable as Tony, they share a similar humor and they have genuine care and affection for each other. Even if they have bad moments, like in IM2, it’s never out of hatred or anything like that - it’s Tony acting contrary to their friendship on purpose, out of his own issues, not a demonstration that their friendship isn’t as strong as it seems. In fact, it’s only proof that their friendship is as strong as it seems that Rhodey is able to jump back to Tony’s side almost immediately as he realizes what is really happening, and no hard feelings are kept from either of them. Out of everyone else, these two are the ones who truly understand and support each other.

2. Pepper: Pepper goes second because even though she has learned to navigate through Tony’s personality and issues quite well, and they do seem to have a nice relationship, Pepper falls short in a place where Rhodey doesn’t, and that’s why she’s the second, not the first, on this list. Pepper really struggles to understand Tony’s motivations as Iron Man - which is to say, she tries really hard to help Tony with some of his issues, but she goes about it in a less than advisable way. It’s not the worse of problems, certainly not in this list, but it’s enough not to give her first place, because between someone who vehemently tries and fails to conciliate this part of their lives together, in comparison to Rhodey, who does it flawlessly, does indicate that something in their relationship doesn’t fit quite as neatly as the first one does.

3. Natasha: In the MCU, Natasha and Tony are so eerily similar it’s shocking. They both have the same kind of personality, they both are very good in keeping a tight hold on their feelings, but are hopelessly loyal, despite pretending they’re lone wolfs or whatever they want the world to believe they are. They also are adaptable, in a sense that if they need to change plans quickly, change sides, change perspectives, change everything to make a certain mission work, they’ll do it, even if it’s hard - they struggle to live on the line between being practical and being idealists, because they are both, and sometimes they make decisions that hurt each other, but they never harbor too many hard feelings because they understand each other far too much to not see the other’s logic when they try to analyze their decisions. What’s unfortunate about the MCU is that Natasha made one of those decisions at a very essential moment of the story, which makes her seem far more loyal to Steve than to Tony - and whether you believe that or not, it’s up to you, but she doesn’t do it out of dislike for Tony; she merely does it because that’s what they do, they adapt.

4. Bruce: Though Bruce and Tony have opposite reactions to things sometimes, with Bruce choosing to step back because of his insecurities and being far more hesitant for it, and Tony acting despite them even though it costs him, almost to the point of recklessness - they have a very deep understanding of why they do so, much like Natasha and Tony. Both Tony and Bruce share some very similar insecurities, guilt about hurting people when they’re not careful, and despite it all, they still feel strongly enough about it to fight and help, because that’s more important to them than their insecurities. There’s a lot of camaraderie in that. See that Bruce also goes along with Tony in AoU despite their small problems along the way, and also despite Bruce’s fears about Vision coming out like Ultron: because they both understand what they’re trying to do, they don’t doubt the other’s intentions, and even if Bruce is not willing to push himself as far as Tony does, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand why Tony does it.

5. Bucky: The thing about compatibility is just that we don’t always have the same amount of shared screentime for every duo, so it’s a little hard to figure out dynamics like this, since they interact so little and in such a specific situation. Based on what I know about these characters’ personalities, I also have to do some theorizing to figure out some more informative details from the dynamics. What I see from Bucky that would be a stepping stone for a great relationship between them is exactly their very careful approach to determine if someone is trustworthy or not. Bucky is in a bad mental state so he’s very cautious, but very open, to gather information - and when is Tony not that? Both are also staggeringly loyal, but Bucky is not loyal the way Steve is, despite their friendship - Steve is forceful, and Bucky is conceding. And guess what - Tony is also conceding. They share an unfortunate amount of trauma too, which, for better or for worse, really adds a layer of understanding between them, even if their history begins with a bad story, it allows a kind of companionship and feeling of protectiveness and community that only a few things in life do. If they had the opportunity to surpass this bad break and become friends - they would be really great friends. It’s a shame they never got the chance.

6/7. Strange and Steve: I put them in the same place not because they have the same problem, but because their problems are equally impeding - they both are too involved in their own plans to make concessions, and that’s something that causes problems with Tony. Tony concedes most of the time, but he’s incapable of doing it all the time, nor he should do it all the time. We haven’t seen enough of Strange for me to believe he has trust issues that run as deep as Steve’s do - he seems to suffer from the same brand of assholery and i-work-better-if-i-make-the-call attitude Tony did at first, but if Tony can grow out of it, there’s no reason for me to believe Strange can’t do it too - even though Strange is, by nature, more reserved than Tony. Steve’s problem runs a little deeper. He and Tony share similar ideals, and they’re both as pro-active, which would put Steve above Strange on this list, but at the same time, he has massive trust issues and we’ve already seen what kind of consequences those trust issues can have between them. I would almost say Steve gets over it thanks so some of his attitudes in Endgame, but alas, his ending contradicts a lot of stuff, so as it stands, it’s very ambiguous how exactly they would be capable of a prolonged, peaceful relationship.

8. Thor: What makes me really upset about Thor sometimes is his lack of availability to be present and open with the rest of the team. Taika was the only one to get it right, I believe, but unfortunately, since Ragnarok only has Bruce around for us to test that theory, it makes it really hard to get a clear idea of what it would be like had Thor been emotionally available for the others too. I feel like they could get along, had the Thor we saw in Ragnarok continued - if that was the case, I would have put Thor all the way up next to Bruce, but seeing as canon cant make up their mind and changed Thor’s attitude and personality again for IW and Endgame, I have no choice but to assume Thor is simply not compatible for the kind of interactions with Tony that others can have, not the way he ended up being cemented as in canon.

9. Clint: Clint is, by far, the least compatible with Tony, from what I can gather from him. Though it seems at moments that they can be amicable (like the party in AoU) Clint is quick to change his opinion in a way that’s very intense, he can jump from complete mistrust to total attachment in a matter of minutes, and that’s not something Tony can handle, because if there’s something that fucks up Tony a lot is trust issues. Clint also seems to be very mistrusting of Tony in particular, and even if it wasn’t, and he would grant Tony the same “courtesy” he grants Wanda for example, to change his opinion and give the people he finds less than pleasant a chance - he doesn’t do it with an expression of genuine and vulnerable regret, as an apology should; either he doesn’t do it, or he doesn’t do it to the person who deserves to hear it, or he does it too late. Clint’s emotional availability is untrustworthy, and at times it almost seems like his loyalty is untrustworthy, so the way it stands in canon, I think there’s no way they could have had a better relationship than the trainwreck they had.

#ask #anon #machi replies #Anonymous

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maid-of-mourne-shore · 5 years

Text

5 Ways to Say it - Bucky x Reader

This is my entry for @moonstruckhargrove‘s writing challenge!

Scenario: Secret admirer

Summary: Where the reader finds four ways to tell Bucky her feelings, and Bucky finds one.

Warnings: None!

Please check out my Master list if you like this and want more!

February 10th - Red roses

Back in the day, James Buchanan Barnes was quite the ladies' man. This wasn’t groundbreaking news, but even in the 30s and 40s, he was typically the one giving the gifts, the flowers, the chocolates. Sure, times had changed, but he wasn’t that man anymore, and though he had been on a few dates here and there, life with the Avengers hadn’t exactly given him the kind of time he used to have for a social life. So, when Bucky walked out the kitchen that morning and found a vase of twelve, fresh cut, red roses addressed to one James Buchanan Barnes, he didn’t quite know what to do with himself.

On top of this, Bucky was unsure of how to talk to women he found attractive anymore, let alone date them, he was out of practice to say the least. So, he had put his focus elsewhere, first and foremost, relearning who Bucky was, finding peace with his past, and standing up to his demons, all of which wasn’t exactly first date material, nor was it something a lot of people wanted to assist with for the long haul. Bucky was a handful and he knew it, so sometimes it felt better just to brave it alone.

He took the small note attached to it, turning it over in his hands, it was pink with tiny hearts lining the edge. Not exactly subtle, but he wasn’t here to dissect someone’s approach to attraction, as his tactic had simply been clear avoidance. There was no name, and no indication of who it came from as he didn’t recognize the handwriting. Perhaps, they were not as bold as he originally thought. He was still in shock that someone would send him flowers, who would do that? And why? Bucky sighed, placing the note down and getting on with his morning, shuffling over to the coffee maker, and pulling out his favorite mug from the cabinet.

It wasn’t long before people began to trickle in, each one remarking on the bouquet on display, asking about its origins, trying to solve the mystery.

“It’s official, Bucky has a secret admirer,” Natasha smirked, eyeing the roses.

“This 100-year-old tin can does nothing but mope around, and he gets flowers?” Sam exasperates, gesturing to Bucky. “I don’t get women.”

“Some girls like the quiet kind,” Wanda says, giving a shy smile.

“Don’t worry, Buck. We’ll figure out who it is,” Steve gave him a winning grin, as he saw the dread on his best friend’s face. Bucky wanted to know who they were, but he was also terrified, having to face someone’s affections head on.

February 11th - Favorite dessert

Bucky had always enjoyed working out, even before he became a soldier, it was something he could focus on, under his control, and sometimes it just felt good to hit something. Physicality was important to him, using it as a way to express himself, a medium to expel energy, this new chapter of his life with the Avengers only strengthening that, as he had to keep up his skills for combat, in peak condition to weather all sorts of conditions, and Bucky genuinely enjoyed that challenge.

But Bucky also had a sweet tooth, a big, fat, sugar craving that could never be satiated, and everybody knew it. Steve was always on him about eating healthy, and treating food as fuel, though Bucky couldn’t care less. Under HYDRA, food wasn’t made to taste good, hell it was barely food at all most times, and there was certainly no dessert, Bucky felt that he was just making up for lost time. He often hid his snacks, so that he could escape a lecture from Steve, and so that other prying eyes wouldn’t help themselves. Though above all other treats, Bucky’s favorite was a good old fashioned, homemade chocolate cake. In his opinion, nothing compared to a perfectly moist inside, with icing that melts in your mouth, all fresh out of the oven. So, when Bucky finished his workout and came into the kitchen to grab a protein bar, and he smelled that famed dessert in the air, he couldn’t help but close his eyes and sniff.

There, on the counter top, was a chocolate cake, a tiny card beside it: ‘For James.’ His mouth dropped open.

“Oo, I smell cake!” Tony sang as he rounded the corner, rubbing his hands together.

“I’ll get the plates,” Sam added, running to the cabinet.

“What’s all the commotion about?” Steve asked, looking around until his eyes fell on the current situation, sitting innocently on the counter. Of course, everyone would congregate with such convenient timing, Bucky thought.

“Buck, that’s not a good post-workout meal,” he sighed, Steve’s best ‘disappointed dad’ expression on his face.

Bucky looked around the room with wide eyes, all of them closing in with one, shared goal in mind: They were going to take his cake. Someone had gone to the effort of baking him a cake, timing it so it was still warm once he finished his workout, and my God he was going to enjoy every last bite. Bucky would kill them before he shared. In an instant, he grabbed the cake, made a mad dash for the elevator, before anyone could grasp what had happened. Bucky had downed the whole thing before the elevator doors opened to his floor.

February 12th - Being present

Ever since he had taken his mind back from HYDRA, Bucky had been working on himself. It was a fulltime job, and progress was not always linear. He had begun seeing a therapist who helped him sort through all the painful memories, building his confidence back up, and learning how to cope with his trauma. Steve reminded Bucky of who he was, and more importantly, helped him explore who Bucky had become. Everyone at the compound was more than happy to assist in the ways that they could, and even just having so many people around who cared about him was healing.

But even now, he still had bad days, times where he was absolutely haunted by what he had done and what had been done to him. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night, throat raw, drenched in sweat. Sometimes it would be a sound, a word, a trigger, causing an associated memory to take over. Other times he wasn’t even sure what it was, to pinpoint what had set him off, though he supposed he didn’t always need a reason, sometimes, it was just a bad day.

Steve had been his go-to, always getting him through those moments, staying up and chatting when he couldn’t sleep, grounding him when he retreated into his mind, but tonight, Steve wasn’t here. It was a particularly bad one, the kind that left him shaking in his skin, one where Bucky couldn’t stand to stay still afterwards. He ventured out into the living room, flicking the TV on, more for the noise than the content. Bucky settled into the couch, letting his head roll back, taking a deep breath as he tried to remember some strategies his therapist has taught him.

I can see the grey ceiling.

I can smell the leather couch.

I can hear footsteps.

Footsteps?

Bucky turned his head, looking for the source of noise when he saw (Y/N) stumbling across the hardwood floor, yawning as she went to the kitchen. Rummaging around the pantry, clearly unsure of what she wanted, (Y/N) stopped and turned her head to see Bucky’s slate blue eyes peering out from behind the top of the couch.

“What are you doing, Bucky?” She drawled, slow steps bringing her towards the living room, a box of crackers in hand.

“Can’t sleep,” he shrugged.

“What are we watching?”

“Dunno.” Bucky handed her the remote as she plopped down beside him, scrolling through some options before deciding on a buddy cop film.

They stayed in silence for a while, partially watching the movie, partially spacing out in their sleep deprived state, the only sound was the crunch of crackers in her mouth. (Y/N)’s presence was nice, he had always felt that way, especially once he had gotten to know her better. Professionally, she was serious, calculated, and a bit sarcastic, but when the uniform came off, (Y/N) turned into a bit of a goofball. It was endearing to see her like this, barely able to stay awake, head leaning dangerously to the side, when he had the image of her killing people with her bare hands in the field to contrast it with. Abruptly, she shook her head, blinking, once, twice, and then sitting back.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She kept her gaze forward, her words even, and tone easy, an effort to keep it casual.

“No,” Bucky appreciated her concern, but it was too hard to think about his dreams again when he was getting his bearings back in the conscious world.

“Okay,” (Y/N) gave him a small smile, eyes starting to droop again, her head falling back against the couch, and Bucky knew she wouldn’t last much longer.

“Hey, you don’t have to stay,” he mumbled, her eyelids fluttering open.

“Do you want me to go?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then I'll stay.”

February 13th – Cover me

Bucky awoke with a start, a bolt of energy zipping through him as he sat up in bed. No nightmare, no dream at all, so why the rush? His eyes drifted over to the cellphone charging on his night table, and it hit him.

10:14am

Shit. The briefing started already.

“Shit, shit, shit, fuck” Bucky hissed, jumping up from his bed, pulling on the first pair of pants he found. He shoved a hoodie over his head, slipped some shoes on, and he was out the door.

Bucky scooted down the hallway and into the elevator, pulling his hair back and tying it back with an elastic that lived on his wrist for times like this. His foot tapped impatiently as it went through each of the floors before the doors opened at his destination. Once he found the closed door of the conference room, Bucky took a deep breath before pushing it open, ready to take the heat from Fury and the team for being so late, but when he stepped inside that wasn’t the response they gave him.

“Oh, Barnes, didn’t expect to see you this morning.” Fury eyed him, and Bucky wasn’t sure if he was testing him or not.

“Why not?” Bucky dared to ask.

“(Y/N) said you were needed for emergency maintenance on your arm, some sort of mechanical malfunction.”

Bucky’s head whipped over to see her giving him a sheepish smile and the pieces came together. Oh, she had covered for him.

“Yes...yeah, exactly. Uh, it was a quick fix, luckily,” Bucky nodded, opening and closing his fist for show.

“Well, glad you could join us,” Fury concluded, looking back to everyone who was seated at the conference table.

Bucky’s eyes fell back onto (Y/N) who now had a focused gaze to the front of the room, her cheeks a distant shade of pink, and he couldn’t help but notice that the seat next to her a was free, a file sitting on it. Bucky made his way over, and her head snapped up to look at him, hands grabbing the file and motioning for him to sit down. Bucky gave her a warm grin, sitting himself beside her, the folder addressed to him placed on the table, all of the briefing materials inside. She seemed to be doing her very best at ignoring his presence, leaning forwards on her arms, looking down the pages, and back up at Fury, her head staying completely parallel to Bucky’s and he had to wonder what all that was about.

(Y/N) was a friend, even more so than some of the others, during these meetings they would often share knowing looks when Steve accidentally said something that had another meaning, which was quite often honestly. Once, they had even resorted to writing notes when Fury was reaming their asses for a careless mistake which had a turned the mission upside down. Regardless, Bucky was becoming antsy as the briefing was dry, and (Y/N) wasn’t giving him any attention.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Bucky whispered, but she was steadfast in her goal to be a good girl.

“(Y/N).” Still nothing.

Bucky stuck out one vibranium finger and jabbed it in between her ribs, which caused the woman to let out a sharp hiss, squinted eyes looking over to find a smug grin on his face.

“What?” (Y/N) quipped.

“Hi.”

“Oh, for fuck-.”

“(Y/N), do you have something to add to the matter at hand?” Fury cocked a brow at the young woman, clearly asking a rhetorical question. She froze in her spot, resorting to a simple headshake to indicate her answer, before ducking to look at her papers again.

Bucky felt bad, he really did, but he also couldn’t help but chuckle at her small misfortune. Fury liked her, in a day he would forget all about this little mishap and she would be back in his good graces, Bucky had no doubts about that. He watched her, the way she twiddled with her pen, chewing nervously on her lip, her eyes darting to catch his gaze before flipping back to Fury. Bucky reached his hand out, placing it on her thigh, thumb rubbing circles over the smooth fabric, her wide eyes questioning his actions as he mouthed ‘Sorry’. He hadn’t meant to get her so worked up, though unbeknownst to him, when it was Bucky, it didn’t take much.

The meeting was adjourned and everyone rushed to get out. It’s not that they didn’t love their job, Bucky included, but getting down to brass tacks was never anyone's favorite part. Even goody two shoes Steve Rogers could be seen spacing out near the end of it, doodling on the back of his folder, much to Fury’s disapproval. Typically, Bucky would become restless fidgety after sitting for so long and take a trip down to the gym, but today his need to speak with a certain someone, was far more alluring. He swiveled his chair around only to find that his certain someone had disappeared. Bucky stood from his chair, finding that in his state of carelessness, everyone had left the room, his feet nearly tripping over each other as he bolted to find her.

Thankfully (Y/N) wasn’t far, as he rounded the corner to the kitchen, Bucky could hear her sweet laughter ringing out, mingling with a low chuckle, her form coming into his vision along with Steve and Sam. Steve saw him and nodded, the other two turning their attention to him as well, Bucky waltzing to the fridge as if he had come in for something.

“Hey, tin can. I was just telling (Y/N) about your secret admirer,” Sam snickered. Steve shot him a warning glance, but (Y/N)’s face dropped, her mouth clamped right up, eyes dropping to the floor.

“Secret admirer?” Bucky questioned, closing the fridge, a bottle of Gatorade in hand.

“Don’t play dumb!” Sam scoffed.

“I don’t have a secret admirer,” Bucky stated, his free hand closing into a fist, and (Y/N) winced. Steve’s eyes traveled between the three of them, taking in their words and their reactions, his heartbeat raising as he began to piece the puzzle together.

“Oh, so then how do you explain the flowers, and the cake?”

“Sam,” Steve started.

“What?” Sam retorted.

“Just stop it!” Bucky growled, his slate blue eyes trained on (Y/N)’s pained expression, jumping at his harsh tone. The room went silent, Sam’s mouth hanging open, Steve’s brow knit together in worry, and Bucky breathing hard. Her eyes darted around, fingers pulling together, as she dashed out of the room, leaving the three at a loss for words.

“(Y/N),” Bucky went to follow her, but Steve stopped him, giving him a knowing look.

“Buck, I gotta tell you something.”

February 14th – In a different language

It was the day, Valentine’s day, the Hallmark holiday where one had to show their undying love and affection by purchasing halfdead flowers, and overpriced chocolates. Bucky felt like an idiot standing in that flower shop, surrounded by people, all buying the same, damn thing, all because they were told to. The man in front of him was barking on his cellphone about how it was such a pain, and how roses would most certainly be marked up for today, but if he didn’t get her flowers then he’d be left in the doghouse tonight. Bucky sucked his teeth at that comment, feeling sorry for the poor woman who would be receiving those roses later today, but could he really think of himself as better? Wasn’t Bucky about to do the same thing as everyone else here?

“Next!” The attendant called, pulling Bucky’s attention.

“Hi, I want to get something really special,” Bucky’s eyes pleaded, hoping that she would understand what he meant, the importance that this bundle of flowers would be carrying. “She deserves more than just roses.”

“Certainly,” she beamed back at him. “Let’s start with her name.”

“It’s (Y/N).”

“Alright, tell me about (Y/N).”

“Well, I could write a book,” Bucky chuckled, pushing some loose strands of hair back. “But I'll start with the basics. She’s beautiful, really beautiful, inside and out, and she’s always helping me, even when I don’t ask. She’s fierce, intelligent, damn good at her job, and a force to be reckoned with, but the worst part is, I'm just realizing all of this now.”

“Hmm,” the attendant quirked her brow, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose as she took in his words. “Ah! I’ve got it.”

She brought out a bouquet of flowers, a kind Bucky had never seen before, and she explained all of the different meanings to him, wrapped it up, and sent him on his way. Bucky was smiling ear to ear, despite the chilled weather and the falling snow, as his heart had never felt warmer, the conversation with Steve from the night before ringing in his ears.

“What’s going on?” Bucky questioned. Steve had led him to his room, closing the door behind him, pacing around as if he was about to tell Bucky that he had been diagnosed with cancer. Steve stopped in his tracks and just stared at him.

“It’s (Y/N).” Steve answered.

“What’s (Y/N)?”

“Your secret admirer.” Bucky’s slate blue eyes widened as he took in Steve’s words, as incredulous as they were.

“No, she’s not.” Bucky stated.

Steve sighed, hands pulling across his face in frustration. “Yes, she is!”

“How do you know?”

“Buck, whatever just happened in the kitchen told me everything!”

“What do you mean?” Bucky mumbled, almost afraid of the answer.

“When Sam told her about the secret admirer and you turned it down, she looked devastated. Now, why would that be?” Steve crossed his arms, waiting for the realization to set in. Bucky chewed his bottom lip, thinking of what had just transpired in the kitchen, the way her face had dropped at Bucky’s dismissal.

“It was her,” Bucky breathed.

“Thank you,” Steve sighed, his head rolling back.

“And I rejected her,” Bucky’s hand moved to comb through his hair, anxiety setting in.

“Did you mean to?” Steve watched his friend's expression, still unsure of what Bucky wanted out of all of this.

“No, God no! She’s amazing, she’s incredible, I just didn’t, I mean, I didn’t know that-.”

“You didn’t know it was her.”

“Yeah.”

The compound was surprisingly quiet, though Bucky supposed that everyone was out spending their time with someone they loved, the silence only wrenching his heart further. Bucky worried that he had messed everything up, that (Y/N) thought Bucky didn’t want her, the pained expression, the creases on her forehead, the hurt in her eyes all came back as he squeezed the stems in his hand. No, he would apologize, make it right, and if she would have him, then he would gladly be hers. Bucky felt so blind, how he hadn’t seen it before, how he hadn’t seen her before; He always knew she was extraordinary, but it never crossed his mind that she would want him like that, that anyone would. It was his own self-conscious thoughts, constantly bearing down, reminding him of his past, of his altered and broken body, his bent and twisted mind, not (Y/N). No, she had never seen him that way.

Bucky decided to freshen up in his room before asking FRIDAY where (Y/N) was, needing another minute to get his thoughts all in order before he could face her, but when he arrived, she was sitting on his bed. Opening the door, her head shot up to look at him, eyes wide, fingers twisting together on her lap, and Bucky nearly dropped the flowers. She launched herself up, clearing her throat, eyes falling back to the floor as she spoke.

“Bucky, hi.”

“(Y/N), what are you doing here?” He questioned, stepping forward, placing the flowers down as he shrugged his heavy jacket off.

“Um, I-I'm here to apologize to you,” she breathed, fingers running along her arm.

“What for?”

“F-for the gifts. It wasn’t fair of me to make it so public, I should’ve just done it in private so I wouldn’t have embarrassed you.”

“(Y/N)-.”

“Please, just let me say this and I'll be out of your hair,” she pleaded, eyes full of remorse that Bucky just couldn’t say no to her. He nodded, not trusting his voice.

“Bucky, you’re an amazing friend. Whenever I'm around you, my heart feels full, like everything is going to be okay. I don’t know when, but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you. I know it’s difficult in our line of work to navigate workplace relationships, and it was so hard to get a read on your feelings so I decided to keep it to myself, but eventually I couldn’t stay quiet anymore. I had to know, even if you didn’t feel the same, but I've humiliated you, and for that, I'm so sorry.”

Her voice was barely above a whisper at the end, tears coming to her eyes that were cast down to the floor.

“Is it my turn now?” Bucky asked tentatively. She nodded. He took the bouquet from the bed, peeling back the paper to reveal the flowers inside.

“I don’t know much about flowers, but these are carnations, and like roses, the different colors have different meanings,” his eyes were on her, taking in the change in her expression from sadness, to confusion, to hope.

“The white means, ‘Sweet and lovely,’ which although I know you’re much more than that, it certainly captures the way I’ve come to think of you. The pink means, ‘I’ll never forget you,’ because no matter what happens, I wouldn’t, I couldn’t. And the red, um, apparently, they mean, ‘My heart aches for you,” Bucky cleared his throat at the confession.

“Bucky, I thought,” she trailed off, fingers delicately grazing the edges of a crimson carnation.

“I know,” Bucky sighed. “I know I messed up, but you have to believe me when I say I had no idea it was you,” his words were rushed, wanting to get it all out so she would understand.

“And well, um, I didn’t actually realize that I felt this way until I knew that you did.” He bowed his head, checks filling with heat.

“Thank you,” (Y/N) whispered, her hands cupping his jaw. Bucky sighed, leaning into her touch, his whole body relaxing into her. “No one’s ever bought me flowers before.”

“Really?” Bucky asked in disbelief.

“Our business doesn’t leave much time,” (Y/N) gave him a solemn smile.

“I’ll buy you as many flowers as you want,” he deadpanned, pushing the bouquet into her hands, causing a giggle to erupt from her chest.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s okay,” she cooed.

“I’m serious,” Bucky pleaded. “And I'll find out what they all mean too, so I don’t give you any that say something rude.”

“Bucky.” He quirked his head. “I just want you.”

“You have me.”

Bucky let out a shaky exhale, a hand coming to rest on her hip, pulling her closer, his flesh hand holding her cheek, guiding her face to his. His actions were slow, almost hesitant, giving her plenty of time to pull away, but she melted into him, eyelids fluttering closed as their lips touched. It was sweet and innocent, gentle and nervous, the room gone completely silent, but soon the flowers were forgotten, hands, lips, and tongues making up for lost time as the air thickened. When a rough nip to her bottom lip let out a breathy moan, he finally pulled back, taking her in, the way her chest rose and fell, the distant look in her eyes, the heat coursing through his own body at the sight. (Y/N)’s head rolled to the side, eyes widening when she realized the poor bouquet had been dropped to the floor in the heat of the moment.

“I’m sorry, Bucky!” (Y/N) scrambled to recover the flowers, smoothing the petals over with her fingers.

“I’ll buy you more,” he shrugged.

“That’s not the point.”

“What do you mean?”

“This is my first bouquet,” she remarked. “I’m going to save it.”

Bucky’s lips curled up into a splitting grin, leaning forward to press a tender kiss to her cheek as she fretted over the slightly jumbled flowers. His hands covered hers, slowly pulling the bouquet from her as she watched him, perplexed when he placed it onto the bed once more.

“Plenty of time for that later,” Bucky mumbled, guiding her into another sweet kiss, savoring just what he had been missing.

#moonstruckhargrovevday #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barns x reader #reader insert #winter soldier

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my-love-peterp · 5 years

Text

Mistaken Chapter Five

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST DROP ME AN ASK

please like and rb/comment <3

Word Count: 2721 (this actually comprises chapters 7 and 8 on Ao3)

THERE ARE NO ENDGAME SPOILERS, THIS IS A DELAYED UPLOAD FROM AO3

Fic Summary: Peter Parker has been given the responsibility of bringing in a new recruit. Now, as an adult, he realizes that none of the trashy YA novels he read in high school could have prepared him for this. There was a storm on the horizon, and all they could do from the Tower is watch.

Chapter Summary: Lol updating within a few hours after weeks of not updating at all? It’s more likely than you think. HOnestly, not my finest work but I’m so tired and I feel so bad about not getting anything out there sooner. I want to change bits and pieces of this story but my goodness, yeah. So if you’d like to Beta read shit for me, y’all would be much appreciated.

Warnings: honestly idk, if I missed something besides language hmu friends

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four

I ran. There was no stopping me. I stole a cowl from a closet and drifted into the shadows, just long enough to leap from the window.

I materialized and flitted down back alleys until I hit Park Ave. I didn’t know much about this area of New York, but every borough has their drinking holes, right?

Minutes later, I was staggering into a quaint little bar that wasn’t quite the dive that I was looking for, but it would do. This was probably better in any case, fewer leering eyes and a hefty, red-haired, Irish woman who kept my drink full and men away.

Hydra was just one of the many skeletons rattling around in my closet, but they were the Rosetta Stone to my trauma in a lot of ways. Not the foundation, but the guide.

Two more glasses of Lagavulin and those pressing thoughts were kicked to the wayside.

Behind me, the grandfather clock chimed five o’clock. Just call me Jimmy Buffet and saddle me up with a margarita.

What no amount of alcohol could do, unfortunately, was erase the people I’d… met with Hydra. Or lost with them. Most of all, I could never forget my sister.

Brave and stupid drunk, I left my drinking post and headed down Park Avenue rather aimlessly. It felt like I was being drawn in a certain direction, meant to be there, which is absolutely absurd, but I was just drunk enough to believe it.

My feet halted half an hour later outside of a quaint little tattoo parlor. I’d always wanted a tattoo but I’d never had the time nor the money to get one. Fortunately, as a runaway Avenger-in-Training, I had both of those in spades now.

And, as fate would have it, the shop was advertising that they were available for walk-ins today.

Whipping out my new cell phone, I pulled up a picture of what exactly I wanted. My sister and I had always fancied we'd get matching ones someday.

The overly muscled and extremely tattooed man just nodded his ascent and began freehanding a design for the Phoenix on my right side. I was decently numbed from the booze, but as time passed, the more my sides protested in pain. Occasionally, I would feel a quick rush of air push cold wind over my aching skin and nearly groan in pleasure.

Finally, three hours later, I was gingerly easing my shirt back on, sides to be kept wrapped for the next hour or so, in case they started bleeding or weeping plasma and ink.

I stood, signed my name along the dotted line for the payment and stepped out on the street to find none other than Pietro standing, back resting against the side of the building with his arms crossed, obviously waiting for me.

Rather than acknowledge his presence, I moved to hail a taxi. He took that moment to wrap his arms around my middle, sending bolts of pain shooting from my fresh tattoos, and bolted down the street.

Fate, should it exist, obviously had a sense of humor. Minutes later, we were standing in the lobby of Avengers Tower.

Hesitantly, I moved for the elevator doors, wincing with every step as it pulled along my aching muscles, both from the walking and the movement of inked flesh. Pietro followed loosely behind me, as I anticipated. Once he had retrieved me, he certainly wasn’t going to let me escape. He was perhaps the one Avenger I couldn’t simply evade or trick, his eyes caught things as though they were moving half the speed they actually were.

An uncomfortable silence ensued as Pietro pressed the button to take us up to the Penthouse, the de facto floor for team meetings.

Despite receiving an equal number of concerned and suspicious glances, most of the team paid me little to no mind.

Peter gestured to Pietro, eyes questioning, and nods were exchanged. What I wouldn’t give to be able to hear what they were thinking. And maybe it was vain of me to assume that they’d been communicating about me, but I was almost positive.

Lost in my reverie, I almost missed the command Cap gave to Wanda to put me under. I hadn’t even taken a step by the time I was falling to the ground, unconscious, caught in lean arms.

It would be the best rest I’d get for weeks to come.

________________________________________________________________

I woke up in my own rooms, restrained to the bed. What had happened was fairly obvious, considering the only person who was in my rooms besides me was Tony. And he had an Iron Gauntlet trained on me as I came to. I hacked to clear my throat before speaking. “Seems like a bit of overkill Grandpa.”

Tony just glared down at me, not moving a single inch or softening in any way.

I tried again. “So I take it Witchy rummaged around in my head and found some… Not so savory things. Perhaps my stint as a Hydra assassin. Maybe the length of my kill list even. Let me guess, you’re currently prepping a room for me at whatever new and improved raft you built to keep Thanos locked up and never coming back. Fair warning, I’ll never go willingly and I can put up one hell of a fight.”

“Fortunately for you, that decision’s not up to me and would require the input of the feds, which, knowing what we do now, I can fairly certainly say, you’d prefer if they stayed out of it. 12 US government officials assassinated in less than three months by yours truly. Wow. Talk about a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Were I not a better man, I’d shoot you right now.”

“So why are you here Tony, if not to kill me?” I snarled back at him. “What good does me being alive do? To anyone.” That startled him a little bit, shell shocked enough to look up and into my eyes, where I saw my own feral irises reflected.

But he steeled himself again within moments. And then, out of the breast pocket of his blue blazer, he grabbed a sheet of paper.

Not a sheet of paper I realized as he folded it out for me. A picture of a skinny redheaded woman. One I recognized intimately. “Target 17. What do you need to know?” I questioned coldly, unfeeling. That made him jerk backward in his seat and hastily stand, panting and heaving, murderous intent glinting in his brown eyes.

“Her name was Pepper. And she was killed three days before our wedding, carrying my child. So I’d like to know. Was it-,“ he spat out like the words were physically fighting to escape from his body.

“Was it me? No. I was in the wind with my sister for a few months after our covers were almost blown taking out a diplomat in Indonesia. For what it’s worth, I truly am sorry Tony. Especially,” I said, voice dropping to a whisper, “about your son.”

“Excuse me, my what?” Fists clenched, he strode up to the side of my bed, closer to my head. I shied away from him as he bent down and got into my face. “What did you just say to me?”

Fuck. He didn’t know and I just made it ten times worse. The sound of his repulsor charging broke the most pregnant silence I’d ever heard. Before he could fire, though, Thor and Steve burst through the door and caught him as he collapsed in anguish, taking him away, leaving me alone. They knew everything about my time with Hydra. The evil I’d done and the evil I’d allowed to happen. I was the enemy. And I had no backup.

So back to normal.

Hours later, I gave in to my bone-deep weariness and collapsed into sleep. Dream after fever dream encased my drained mind, ephemeral and diaphanous. Most images were forgotten immediately, flighty and fragile as a butterfly’s wing. Others though, others stuck like mosquitos stuck in amber. Flashes.

Light, blood, destruction. Tattooed stars and deep, harrowing scars on ragged faces. Sobbing little boys with green eyes and silky hair.

Despite the intense lunacy and deep feeling of realness, I felt while dreaming, I was aware of a deep, striking pain within myself. It settled in my chest, buried deep, as though I’d replaced my stomach with Mjolnir. The ache was both sharp and dull, full and waning. It signaled that a harsh reality awaited me in the waking world. When I was dreaming it was like the pain had no anchor, no reason for tormenting me, as hapless and defenseless as a newly hatched bird.

When I’m half-awake, like I am now, I know why the pain is here, understand the presence of gut-wrenching guilt and searing hot shame and thus can accept them. I’m not sure which is worse to experience.

Sometimes I’m fully awake, being handed crackers or grapes or bottles of water by a person whose name I don’t know because I’m never cognizant long enough to catalog their face. Seconds later, I’m again drowning, pulled into the depths of my dreamscape.

My reality blurs and the cycle continues, vicious unto the end. And every time I wake, my cheeks are embarrassingly wet. It feels like weeks before I’m awake long enough to realize I’m not alone. That every time I wake, a new face is staring back at me from a different chair in my room.

I come to recognize them again in time. Wanda, Pietro, Bucky, Steve, Vision, even Peter. But never Tony.

I sit up for the first time after what feels like a month, though the limited aching emanating from my bones tells me, logically, that it’s only been a fraction of that time. One either side of my bed is a Maximoff. Wanda looks more concerned than wary. Pietro looks like a lion who caught the scent of an enemy pride.

“Go slowly Kaida,” Wanda urges, “you must be weak. It’s been a few days since you rejoined the land of the living. Her continued inquiries and entreaties fall on deaf ears. As vulgar as it now sounds in retrospect, I knew I had to move or else an accident would occur. I stumbled into my en suite, knowing even without needing to look that they would have removed anything that would have made a suitable weapon.

I also know that, should my biology betray any sign of shifting to make use of my abilities, F.R.I.D.A.Y. would alert the others and the full might of the Avengers would fall upon my head. And Wanda would have me back out in seconds. What couldn’t be stopped of measured for, of course, were things such as my superhuman hearing, that was currently picking up on the muffled conversation the twins were having in my bedroom on the other side of the bedroom door.

“Why are you blocking FRIDAY, we should be alerting the others that the prisoner is awake and ready for their attention.”

“Pietro! She’s not our prisoner,” Wanda reprimanded. “Besides, I wish to have a moment alone with the girl. Even if she is not a child of Strucker, she is what Hydra made her to be, somehow. I just… I’d like for her to have a sympathetic listener at first. We never got the benefit of the doubt. If you remember we weren’t exactly unwilling in our crusade against the Avengers.”

Pietro just grunted in agreement but remained tense at his sister's side. I quickly twisted off the faucet and reentered the bedroom. Rather than speak, Wanda simply patted the seat of the chair across from hers, indicating that I should take a seat. It was the gentlest command ever issued. I slid back until my shoulders brushed the high back of the chair.

Wanda opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off with a gesture of my hands. I leaned forward, extending my head towards her.

“Just look, let my mind answer your questions. I don’t know that I’d have the strength to or that we’d have the time before the others come charging in. If I’m going to die, I need at least one person to know and believe the truth. Maybe help persuade Captain Rogers to end my life swiftly. It’s more than I deserve.”

With that Wanda, eyes shining, placed her hands on my temples and breathed deeply as we were both transported to an infinitely darker place, many years ago.

Sinking through my memories was like drifting uncontrollably through a minefield. Tiny bursts of anguish shot through my mind as Wanda relived my upbringing with my sister, the house of horrors that was our home, being tapped to join Hydra and agreeing without ‘persuasion'. The missions, targets and our downfall. My sister's son. And finally, the mission that sent us both running for the hills...

The time since then. One dead-end job to another, sisters working to support each other, all while looking for the last remaining piece of our family. And, then that day had come. The snap and dust. Guilt flooding me and overwhelming a sense of horror as time passed.

Homeless until my… boyfriend. The horror that home turned into, one that I do still feel as though I deserved. Until one night he went too far and I left. The night Peter found me. Of course in the midst of all this, you had my ‘heroics' that mostly consisted of helping women out of situations I understood all too well. And that damned school. So Peter was looking for me at the behest of the Avengers after the most recent event had even landed on the front page of the New York Times.

My deeply buried need to have somewhere to call home, to have not just someone on my six but to have a family. All the emotions that Hydra and I, through my conditioning at their hands, thought of as compromising and weak.

I had agreed, understanding that I could play the role of Asset for the good guys for once, maybe correct some of the horrific circumstances I had had a hand in creating. My mission would be protecting others for the first time. Only in my wildest dreams had I imagined I'd ever have a family again, but they had begun to feel like home, in spite of the secrets I kept. Now that was ruined. That was inevitable, I reminded myself. Because of who I am, I could never have a family. I didn't deserve one.

“No,” Wanda said, interrupting our shared stream of thoughts, "not ruined, just a little, broken. They accepted us in time." Pietro nodded, eyes alighting on his sister and then on me. Curiosity burned in his soul-deep gaze. He leaned forward and used his abnormally large hand and rough fingers to cover his sister's hand, which I just realized was now twined in mine.

Connected like this, I felt the smallest flicker of hope come to life in me, setting my heart aflutter. Understanding and acceptance filled their eyes and I did tear up a little. I never expected this.

“You are not the monster your parents created. Nor the asset that Hydra trained. You are more than that Kaida. Let us help you find it. Find yourself.”

I nodded, leaning into her embrace as she gripped me by the shoulders and kissed my cheek.

At Wanda’s urging, I stepped into the shower, running my hand through my hair as nearly a week’s worth of grime was stripped off my body. I think it was safe to say that I’d never felt more confused and well, vulnerable in my life.

For the time being, I didn’t have a mission or a purpose. My handler, or the surrogate my mind had appointed was questionable at best now that all had been revealed. I didn’t like being left to my own mind and devices. Too many thoughts would rattle around inside my head. After a few hours, the twins left again, gentle eyes and kind reassurances.

Later and not seconds after my stomach rumbled with a fierceness I had forgotten it had, my door opened and a tray of food entered, held by Bucky, the Winter Soldier.

A/N: I’m uploading another chapter tonight that I am formatting and scheduling right flipping now so I don’t flake again. Really pumped for the new fic I’m starting though!

taglist: @peeterparkr @laurfangirl424 @private-bucky-barnes

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glitterquadricorn · 7 years

Text

I Hate You, I Love You - Pietro Maximoff (4/7)

Summary: The reader likes Pietro a lot, but is painfully shy and gets real awkward around him. She finally works up the courage to tell him that she has feelings for him, but discovers that he has been seeing a new woman that’s on the avengers. Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x Plus Sized!reader Word Count: 1,165 Warning(s): bullying(flash backs to previous parts), mentions shooting, mentions killing someone, kidnapping, violence(just a smack across the face), swearing.

“Why am I here?” Raven asked, forcibly being sat down by Natasha. She knew from the look on Natasha face that she were caught, but she acted like she was innocent.

“You know exactly why you’re here so quit acting innocent” Natasha growled.

“Nat you need to calm down” Steve ordered.

“The day I calm down will be the day.” Natasha barked. “She needs to be punished!”

“Yes, I agree, but nothing will get done when you’re angry” Steve told Natasha. He then turned his attention to the blonde. “I will not tolerate bullying.”

“I don’t either!”

“Barton’s kids know how lie better than you!” Natasha yelled.

“I swear I'm not lying!” Raven protested.

“I'm sorry Raven, what were you lying?” Tony smirked. Pietro then zoomed in the room, and stood next to Raven.

“What’s going on in here?”

“Well speedy, your girlfriend is in some serious trouble” Tony chuckled. “Friday, can you play the video from my party several weeks ago? And make sure the audio is enhanced.”

“Listen, and listen closely. Pietro is mine, and mine only. He’ll never ever love someone that is as disgusting as you. I mean, look at you... you belong with the pigs in the pig pen. Honestly, nobody likes you... not even Pietro; he just pities you. So please do me, and the rest of the world a favor and kill yourself.”

If only she knew that you tried that. You could feel the tears starting to rim your eyes.

“Oh? Is miss piggy going to cry?” Raven taunted.

“And if you think I’m finished, I’m not. Friday play the next clip”

“Miss Piggy! Trying to lose weight?” Raven called. The three agents roared in laughter.

The second agent chimed in, “Even if she did, she’d still be ugly.”

“She’ll never be good enough for- OH MY GOD YOU’RE SUCH A FREAK!” The third agent yelled.

“I’d say you have a lot of explaining to do my dear”

“Babe- Raven, is this true?” Pietro asked. Raven knew she couldn’t push this any farther. She’s been caught, and it’s time to answer her sins.

“Yes Pietro it’s all true, but I did it to protect us; to protect what we had. She’s naturally stunning, and that’s something I wish I had. With her beauty I knew she could take you from me. I had to something to get her out the picture.” Pietro stood back in disgust. You were right about her all this time. Why couldn’t he have believed you the first time? Maybe if he had listened, you’d still be here.

“YOU’RE DISGUSTING!” Pietro screamed.

“I’m sorry Piet... I’m so sorry”

“He, nor us, are the ones you need to say sorry to” Wanda says, walking out the room.

“Does everyone know the plan?” Phil scanned around the quinjet. The agents were sitting around in the quinjet stone-faced. This was a serious mission; there was no room for error.

“Yes, yes we do” You stood up, and spoke for everyone.

“We’re landing in 10” Bobbi calls from the front of the quinjet. Once landing, everyone got off, and got into place. You were going to be stationed on an open rooftop overlooking the docks, and observing the intended target, Francis Smyth.

“You sure you’re going to be able to handle this? This might turn into a fire fight” Phil asked, grabbing your shoulder.

“Listen Phil, I wouldn’t put myself in a situation where I know wouldn't be able handle it.” You walked away from Phil. When arriving to the rooftop, you started to set up. Making sure everything were locked in place, you peered through the scope.

“You sure he’s going to be here?” Lance questioned.

“Yes Lance-”

“Cars at three o’clock” You say, cutting off Mack.

“How many do you men do you see y/n?” Phil asked over comms. You adjusted the rifle, and glimpsed through the scope. You see twenty-five men, including the intended target, Francis Smyth.

“Twenty-five, including the target” You replied.

“That’s too much muscle to move guns and ammunition, don’t you think?” Daisy chimed in.

“He’s going to want to act like a tough guy Daisy” Melinda called.

“Plus, if things get to crazy he’s going to want to get out of here in a hurry” You added.

“She’s right-” Phil says, but is cut off by a gun shot. “What’s happening?”

“He shot a dock worker!” You yelled. “Its show time fellas” You mumbled under your breath as you shot one of the men. You shot, and killed three more men when you felt something cover your mouth. You struggled too free yourself (the person behind you was massive), but you couldn’t, and end up passing out.

“You’re coming with me Дарлинг(darling)”

Opening your eyes, you see you’re in a cold, dark, empty room. You tried to free yourself, but your hands were tied behind you.

“Trying to free yourself won’t help you,” The voice says from the shadows. “If you did manage to get yourself free, there’s guards surrounding the area. You wouldn't get far.”

“Who are you?” You growled. The person behind the voice stepped from the shadows. “Francis Smyth”

“That’s correct! You’re a smart woman. So, why work for an organization like Shield?”

“To protect the world from assholes like you” You smirked, which earned you a smack across the face. “Clearly your mother never taught you manners.”

“You’ll not disrespect me!” Francis cursed. “I make the rules here, and what I say goes. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir” You sassed, “Why do you want me? What makes me so special?”

“You see, I work for Hydra, and Hydra wants their asset back. We’ll do anything to have him, and we’re going to use you to get him on our side.”

“Leave Bucky alone! Bucky doesn’t deserve any of the trauma you pathetic pieces of shit gave him! He’s a human being!”

“Hydra doesn’t care about feelings,” Francis paused, “Imagine you, and the winter soldier as our weapons of mass destruction. Hydra will rule the world, and have complete control.”

“You’re a sick son of bitch” You growled, moving forward, trying to hit Francis.

“Ah! If I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me, I’d be a millionaire.” Francis says, walking around you. Francis was about to say something else when someone who’d you thought you’d never see again, walked in the room.

“You got to be fucking kidding me. I thought you died in the Triskelion?”

“Oh, but I’m not kidding you sweetheart.” Brock smirked, walking over to you cupping your face.

“I swear if you touch me again, you’ll lose those fingers Rumlow.”

“Is that a threat?”

“I don’t know... Do you feel threatened?”

“Come on darling, Pierce is waiting for us.” Brock untied you from the chair. He, along with Jack, forced you down the hall. ‘They’re going to turn me into an emotionless monster’ you thought ‘but then again, I have nothing else to live for’

Usually I end up falling head over heels I love with bad guys. Those bad guys being Brock Rumlow and Jack Rollins, and I had to include them. Like I said in the PSA, the series is coming to a close. I have a new ideas for a new series.

Peter Parker x Plus Size Reader

Justice League x The Avengers

Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader

I’ll let you guys take a vote on what you want to see.

Tagging:

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @m-a-t-91 @punkdoor @chocolatemonkeyrainbows @itsjusthaawo @dancerwriter @trashimaginezblog @iamwarrenspeace @molethemollie @secretsandlove81199 @thekayceenicole @snapeofyou @sam-girl-forever @hiding-in-the-backgroundx-x @rosietheturtle @geeksareunique @tinycyberhacker @calicokitkat @mackenzieebug @flubbernuggets @toniinhere @amethyst09 @somniare-spiritus @cookiecakeslive

#pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff imagine #pietro maximoff x plus sized reader #pietro maximoff x reader #maximoff #imagine #imagines #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #marvel x plus size reader

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bloojayoolie · 5 years

Photo

Anaconda, Andrew Bogut, and Bailey Jay: Wanda Emaciated, neglected, & suffering from seizures, she dreams of a better life... Id 57757, 1 Yr., 35 1ns., Manhattan ACC TO BE KILLED - 3/30/2019 *** SUFFERING FROM SEIZURES *** Incredibly neglected, emaciated, with ears disfigured due to long term infections and hematoma's, Wanda is only a puppy of barely a year old, but so far her life has been hell. She dreamed desperately of a better life, but all her dreams were dashed. Now she is in a kill shelter, trembling, with a tucked tail and wetting herself in fear. It's simply heartbreaking to see this poor, sweet special needs girl huddling in the corner of her kennel, trying to look small. Her loneliness, her broken heart, her last shred of hope fading as she tries to hang on to that dream of a soft place to land -- a quiet, calm and loving home where she can get the vet care she needs and the love of a family -- a happiness she has never known. Please don't let her linger, foster or adopt her now and save her life. If you foster Wanda, the rescue that pulls will pay her medical. You add love and kindness and support. Hurry please. Message our page or email us at [email protected] for assistance. Wanda, ID# 57757, @ 12 Mos. Old, 35 lbs. Unaltered Female Manhattan ACC, Medium Mixed Breed, Brown Brindle/White I came to the shelter as an ACO Impound, 3/21/2019 Shelter Assessment Rating: NEW HOPE ONLY No children (under 13) SHELTER ASSESSMENT - Date of assessment: 24-Mar-2019 Summary: In the assessment room, Wanda went into the corner, trembling and with a tucked tail. When approached, she urinated on herself and attempted to retreat further into the corner. Out of concern for her stress levels, she is not a good candidate for a handling assessment at this time. PLAYGROUP NOTES - DOG TO DOG SUMMARIES: 3/23: When introduced off leash to other female dogs, Wanda is highly fearful and keeps only to herself. INTAKE BEHAVIOR - Date of intake: 21-Mar-2019 Summary:Fearful, barks, growls MEDICAL BEHAVIOR - Date of initial: 22-Mar-2019 Summary: Nervous, allowed handling ENERGY LEVEL: We have no history on Wanda so we cannot be certain of her behavior in a home environment. At the care center, she displays a medium level of activity. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations: No children (under 13) Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments: No children: Due to how uncomfortable Wanda is currently with touch and novel stimuli, we feel that an adult-only home would be most beneficial at this time. Place with a New Hope partner: Due to the extreme levels of fear Wanda exhibits at the care center, we recommend placement with a New Hope partner who can provide any necessary behavior modification (force-free, positive reinforcement-based) and re-evaluate behavior in a stable home environment before placement into a permanent home. Potential challenges: Fearful/potential for defensive aggression Potential challenges comments: Fearful/potential for defensive aggression: Wanda is intensely fearful at the care center, avoiding handling and urinating on herself when approached. She was also growled at handlers at times. Please see handout on Fearful/potential for defensive aggression. ENRICHMENT 3/22/19: When approached by handler while in kennel, Wanda started out uninterested in treats, stayed on bed, and growled slightly. After a few minutes she slowly approached the front of kennel and ate treats off floor. She backed away slowly after eating but returned with each treat. MEDICAL EXAM NOTES: 26-Mar-2019 Progress Exam. Groomed on 3/26/19. 25-Mar-2019 Tech Exam. Drew blood from right cephalic vein for CBC/Chem/T4 25-Mar-2019 Progress Exam. hx: Had a seizure like episode 2 d's ago while going on walk; no sz-like issues in the last 48hrs; also has chronic skin and ear issues. BAR H PINK. eent- lichenification in both ears; stenotic canals; AD- hemmorrhagic crust on outsid eof pinnae. pln- wnl hl- 120hr reg nm ss fp c and e. abd- relaxed. ug- fs msi- hemmorhagic crust on the dorsal ventrum; no fleas Neuro- nsf. Assessment) Problem List: 1) Chronic skin and ear issues r/o allergies (atopy vs food allergies vs other), 2) Sz like event r/o episode vs epilepsy vs other 24-Mar-2019 Progress Exam. HX: sz like event while out for a walk; dermatitis; chronic otitis; pyoderma. BAR H Nervous eent- limited oral exam. Neuro- nsf. A) h/o sz's ; also skin and ear issues (r/o allergies). Plan) if sz's again- Phenobarbital- 100mg. sig: 1/4 tab orally with food q 12hrs 23-Mar-2019 Progress Exam. While out for a walk patient noted to fall onto her side and begin trembling and paddling. Description of episode consistent with a seizure. Moved patient to medical for close monitoring for additional seizures. Consider adding keppra if additional seizures. Patient nervous in kennel. Visual exam only. No anisocoria. Mentally appropriate. 22-Mar-2019 DVM Intake Exam. Estimated age: ~ 8-10 yr. Microchip noted on Intake? none. Microchip Number (If Applicable): History: Owner surrender. Subjective: BARH. Observed Behavior - Very nervous in kennel, would not come to the front of the kennel. Allowed medical handling once taken out of the kennel. Initially went to sedate patient, but leg was bleeding from site of injection and did not receive drugs IM-cleaned right lateral leg and abdomen due to blood, however no lesions seen bleeding. Evidence of Cruelty seen - None. Evidence of Trauma seen - None Objective: T = none taken, P = ~100 bpm, R = ~24 bpm BCS: 4/9. EENT: Mild serous discharge OU, no nasal discharge, severe malodorous debris AU (AS worse than AD), scarred pinnae AU, canal appears stenotic, unable to perform full otic exam. Oral Exam: Patient muzzled so limited oral exam, but noted fractured left mandibular canine with pulp exposure and severe gingival recession of incisors. PLN: No enlargements noted. H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic. ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated. U/G: FS, no MGTs, no vulvar d/c MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, multiple dermal masses, diffusely thin hair coat, malodorous skin with thickening and multiple scabs present (worst on dorsum), overgrown nails, no tattoo or spay scar seen. CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities. Rectal: Not performed. Assessment: ~Geriatric FI Pitbull. Dermal Masses-r/o benign vs malignant. Skin lesions-r/o atopic dermatitis vs neoplasia vs other autoimmune vs other. Dental disease, Geriatric Prognosis: Fair. Plan: Nail trim. Skin scrape-negative Skin cytology-1-2+ bacteria, occasional yeast. Ear cytology-3+ rods/cocci, no yeast AS. 1-2+. rods/cocci, no yeast AD. CBC/Chem/T4-Basophilia, thrombocytosis, hyperproteinemia, hyperglobulinemia, normal T4 Baytril 136 mg-1.25 tablets PO SID x 14 days-likely will need longer. Ketoconazole 200 mg-1/2 tab PO SID x 14 days Malaseb bath 2-3x weekly. Ear cleaning done at time of PE. Baytril otic Ideally, however not available so will use mometamax AU BID x 14 days, recommend switching to baytril otic if available. Likely will need oral steroids Recommend New Hope placement for further work up of skin including skin biopsy and culture. May also need ear culture and sedated otic exam and cleaning. Also recommend thoracic radiographs. Will need dental in the future. SURGERY: Temporary waiver due to skin infection *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** WANDA IS RESCUE ONLY. You must fill out applications with New Hope Rescues to foster or adopt her. She cannot be reserved online at the ACC ARL, nor can she be direct adopted at the shelter. PLEASE HURRY AND MESSAGE OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE! HOW TO RESERVE A “TO BE KILLED” DOG ONLINE (only for those who can get to the shelter IN PERSON to complete the adoption process, and only for the dogs on the list NOT marked New Hope Rescue Only). Follow our Step by Step directions below! *PLEASE NOTE – YOU MUST USE A PC OR TABLET – PHONE RESERVES WILL NOT WORK! ** STEP 1: CLICK ON THIS RESERVE LINK: https://newhope.shelterbuddy.com/Animal/List Step 2: Go to the red menu button on the top right corner, click register and fill in your info. Step 3: Go to your email and verify account \ Step 4: Go back to the website, click the menu button and view available dogs Step 5: Scroll to the animal you are interested and click reserve STEP 6 ( MOST IMPORTANT STEP ): GO TO THE MENU AGAIN AND VIEW YOUR CART. THE ANIMAL SHOULD NOW BE IN YOUR CART! Step 7: Fill in your credit card info and complete transaction HOW TO FOSTER OR ADOPT IF YOU *CANNOT* GET TO THE SHELTER IN PERSON, OR IF THE DOG IS NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY! You must live within 3 – 4 hours of NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Norther VA. Please PM our page for assistance. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a dog on the To Be Killed list, including those labelled Rescue Only. Hurry please, time is short, and the Rescues need time to process the applications. Shelter contact information Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email [email protected] Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 *** NEW NYC ACC RATING SYSTEM *** Level 1 Dogs with Level 1 determinations are suitable for the majority of homes. These dogs are not displaying concerning behaviors in shelter, and the owner surrender profile (where available) is positive. Some dogs with Level 1 determinations may still have potential challenges, but these are challenges that the behavior team believe can be handled by the majority of adopters. The potential challenges could include no young children, prefers to be the only dog, no dog parks, no cats, kennel presence, basic manners, low level fear and mild anxiety. Level 2 Dogs with Level 2 determinations will be suitable for adopters with some previous dog experience. They will have displayed behavior in the shelter (or have owner reported behavior) that requires some training, or is simply not suitable for an adopter with minimal experience. Dogs with a Level 2 determination may have multiple potential challenges and these may be presenting at differing levels of intensity, so careful consideration of the behavior notes will be required for counselling. Potential challenges at Level 2 include no young children, single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity, mouthiness, fear with potential for escalation, impulse control/arousal, anxiety and separation anxiety. Level 3 Dogs with Level 3 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters, and the ACC strongly suggest that the adopter have prior experience with the challenges described and/or an understanding of the challenge and how to manage it safely in a home environment. In many cases, a trainer will be needed to manage and work on the behaviors safely in a home environment. It is likely that every dog with a Level 3 determination will have a behavior modification or training plan available to them from the behavior department that will go home with the adopters and be made available to the New Hope Partners for their fosters and adopters. Some of the challenges seen at Level 3 are also seen at Level 1 and Level 2, but when seen alongside a Level 3 determination can be assumed to be more severe. The potential challenges for Level 3 determinations include adult only home (no children under the age of 13), single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity with potential for redirection, mouthiness with pressure, potential escalation to threatening behavior, impulse control, arousal, anxiety, separation anxiety, bite history (human), bite history (dog) and bite history (other). New Hope Rescue Only Dog is not publicly adoptable. Prospective fosters or adopters need to fill out applications with New Hope Partner Rescues to save this dog.

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Anaconda #Andrew Bogu

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techmaestro · 7 years

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Easily in Touch

So over the last week I’ve been marathoning all of Sense8. I have to say, I love the premise, and the way it was handled in that show, and I look forward to the finale. All of that said, the show inspired this AU which I’m going to say now will not be exactly the same. For one thing, the everyone is born at once thing I just can’t make work in the MCU, but I’ve found ways around that, so HERE WE GO. World details at the bottom.

Tony Stark is the same person he always was here, but because his life took a turn, everything is a little different. When he was 23, the Winter Soldier was free of his leash long enough to try a last ditch escape maneuver that led to him waking his first cluster of kids, which just happened to be Tony’s. He was caught shortly after, before the child cluster could really understand what was going on, and that group had to find their way on their own. Bucky’s cluster consisted of Steve, as well as six of the commandos, most of whom, over the years, were convinced he was dead and his presence when he was able to get off the drugs and cryo were just echoes.

His child cluster is more conflicted given he created it when supposedly ‘dead’. Tony, at the very least, is always alert to these days, and has put no small amount of searching into trying to find their ‘parent’.

Tony’s cluster consists of Rhodey, Pepper, Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, Jane Foster, Stephen Strange, and Kevin Thompson aka Kilgrave (who in this world has his powers come from having his sensate ability overamplified to hell and back and tweaked to affect non-sensate which has a mind control effect. Sensate are immune to his abilities, even ones who aren’t active.)

Steve, upon being found and woken by SHIELD, is the parent of another Cluster Tony has a rather large amount of contact with, as they were activated in the middle of Steve panicking that everyone was dead. Steve, as a result of this, is actually much less unstable, as he has not been alone since this panicked bout of mental flailing.

That cluster consists of Natasha, Sam Wilson, Peter Quill, Hope Van Dyne, T’Challa, Helen Cho, Jemma Simmons, and Leopold Fitz. Suffice to say that Peter Quill was Not Expecting That.

And finally, Tony, after some of the events that made a mess of everything and led to an approximation of the MCU (Though things kind of went off the rails fairly quickly things like alien invasions and alien artifacts and seriously awkward misunderstandings still happen) Tony decided to try his hand at birthing his own group of Sensate. This was around 2014 for him.

This ended up consisting of Wanda (though that was rough at first), Pietro, Peter, Harley, Darcy, and Three others who were born between ‘93, when Darcy born, and 2001, when Harley was born. (By all means, bring me your OCs or XMCU/Comic kids for this)

The actual MCU on the other hand... Obadiah slipped through the cracks because he was a sensate too and Tony ended up leaning on him... and was still tricked by him. So things are the same, but different, and Tony was never dealing with his traumas alone, nor were anyone else from his cluster, which, hey, means Kevin never turned into a supervillain. Silver lining!

Now, the basics of how the AU works. Each cluster is of 8 people who are connected on a quasi-telepathic, empathic, and physical even over long distance sort of situation, who can feel each other’s pain typically even if they don’t want to if it’s bad enough, and if they reach out, can talk to each other without help across the world. It can’t be intercepted, but it can be stopped, and if you’re not conscious no one can reach you. People inside these clusters can let others in their group use their skills, and can understand all languages one in their group can as that person can. The amount of intimacy is a doozy.

In this AU, instead of everyone being born at the same time, the births are still staggered for canon birthdays, but it’s an unbroken chain, wherein the older one isn’t born until the next one is existent in a pregnancy. Only unbroken chains can have their latent genes activated in this AU.

In person eye contact with people outside your 8 makes you able to speak to, and physically poke at, others outside your cluster. You can’t make them stop once you initiate that so that could suck if they’re an asshole.

In this AU the serum only works on people with the genes that let them be sensate. It’s why the Serum was largely a failure, and also extends to Extremis. Killian and Maya tried to overcome a genetic bias they didn’t know what there with Extremis, and it’s why they couldn’t get it to stabilize. It’s also why Tony could fix it.

Birthing a cluster, as it was never explained in the series, for the sake of this AU works as such: The person ‘birthing’ actively reaches out into a spot in their mind that hums with ‘potential’ and tugs on it. This, in turn, sends out a signal to 8 people not of their choosing, all over the world, and immediately forges a brand new connection between them and those people, while imprinting some of who they are onto those people, thus it being a parent style bond, before those people fight through the process of acclimating to each other. The parent is supposed to help smooth this out and make the whole thing less scary.

Ideally, everyone gets along, but it doesn’t always work that way, and the bond in no way changes the personalities of anyone involved. If someone is a HYDRA asshole, then their cluster has to figure out how to deal with that.

Chemicals can be used to block connections as well as unconsciousness, and in this AU rather than being a separate species, the sensate are more of a widespread mutation, so to speak, and should someone bring mutants into the mix, those mutants could also be this, as a cross of genetics. Either way, Sensate folks are kind of a secret handled with care while political ones have tried to work out how to make it so that they could safely come out of hiding.

#aus #v: in touch #a: in touch

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flauntpage · 7 years

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Football's Brain Injury Crisis Isn't Just for Star Players

Ka'Lial Glaud has a headache. Every second of every day, he says. Ever since suffering his first and only diagnosed concussion in the National Football League nearly two years ago.

A 26-year-old former linebacker who spent most of three NFL seasons with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Glaud has been diagnosed with post-concussion syndrome, a disorder in which symptoms such as dizziness, light sensitivity, and intense headaches persist long after someone experiences an initial brain injury.

Medications haven't brought Glaud relief. Nor has therapy. He isn't well enough to work, and he can't go back to Rutgers University to finish his undergraduate degree—not when reading for more than half an hour leaves his eyes exhausted and head throbbing.

Recently, Glaud says, it took all he had just to walk on a Stairmaster and then cut the grass at his home in Asbury Park, New Jersey.

"I was down for four days [afterward]," he says. "I told a doctor, 'It's like I can feel my brain.' They said that's impossible. But it feels like someone is inside my head and has their hands around my brain, and they're squeezing it."

It's been more than a decade since doctors discovered the neurodegenerative disease chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) in deceased Pittsburgh Steelers center Mike Webster, a revelation that helped make brain trauma in football an ongoing national story. Much of the subsequent fan and media focus has been on star players, like New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady allegedly hiding a concussion last season, and worst-case medical outcomes, like Hall of Fame linebacker Junior Seau being posthumously diagnosed with CTE after committing suicide in 2012.

However, fringe performers such as Glaud—training camp invitees, practice squad members, players at the bottom of depth charts—are just as vulnerable as the sport's marquee names, maybe even more so. Fighting for jobs and paychecks in the league, they arguably have greater incentive to put their brains at risk and fewer resources to cope with any lasting damage.

Even when those ailments are less severe than CTE, they still can be debilitating. Glaud was concussed in September of 2015, and since then his life has been a fog of frustration and depression.

"Everyone you hear about, they played for ten, 15 years," Glaud says. "I had three, one of those on the practice squad and another on injured reserve. I didn't play that daggone long. And it has affected me. I think about it every day."

Glaud doesn't remember the hit. He was playing for the Dallas Cowboys in the team's final preseason game, trying to earn a roster spot.

One moment, Glaud was calling plays and setting defensive fronts; the next, he was on the sideline, telling teammate Sean Lee that nothing was wrong—even though Glaud couldn't recall those same plays and fronts when one of his coaches was going through game video on a tablet computer.

Are you sure you're OK?

I'm fine.

I think I'll have a doctor look at you.

"I asked Shawn not to," Glaud says. "Then I went back out on special teams. When I came off again, he was there with trainers to evaluate me."

Ka'Lial Glaud (No. 47) in a 2015 preseason game with the Dallas Cowboys. Photo by Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

Team doctors took Glaud back to the Cowboys' locker room and told him remove his uniform. He figured that he would be fine. He suffered two diagnosed concussions at Rutgers, he says, and both times sat out practice for about a week before returning to the field. The injuries didn't stop him from starting all 13 games his senior year, or from appearing in seven games for Tampa Bay as an undrafted rookie in 2013.

This time was different. Back at the team hotel, Glaud was nauseous. He threw up when he tried to eat. Riding elevators made him dizzy, and he didn't want to leave his darkened room. Diagnosed with post-concussion syndrome, he spent the season on injured reserve, unable to clear the Cowboys' return-to-play protocols.

The team sent Glaud to a neurocognitive therapy center. There, he performed rehab tasks like staring at a target while shaking his head. His scores improved over time, he says, but his headaches didn't. If anything, activity made them worse. Near the end of the 2015 season, the Cowboys sent him home to New Jersey.

Glaud hasn't played football since. Still sensitive to light, he says he wears sunglasses "just about all the time." He can walk on a treadmill, but he can't run or lift weights without getting dizzy. He has to read things repeatedly to make sense of them, and has trouble sleeping—drifting off in the middle of the night, waking up before dawn, unable to nap in between.

Then there's Glaud's perma-headache. So many things can make it worse, from sudden noises to trips to the grocery store. "If I go out to dinner with a bunch of friends, I'll have headaches and feel floaty," he says. "And I will pay for it later that night or the next day."

Glaud is close to his family: his parents Marlon and Wanda, who served in the United States Navy; his brothers Anthony and Sharif, who both played college football; his wife, Kassandra Laine, a supervisor at a health insurance company, and their three-year-old son, Kingston. He wills himself to be upbeat for them, less irritable and worn down. "I try to put away my pain," Glaud says, "and act like everything is normal and OK with me."

It isn't. On the Fourth of July, Glaud, Kassandra, and Kingston drove to the beach to watch a fireworks show. Glaud never left the car. "We even parked kind of far away from everyone and everything," Kassandra says. "But it was still loud, and there were a lot of people. Afterward, he was so nauseous. He felt like he had to throw up the entire night.

"You want to be able to enjoy life as it was. And Ka'Lial loves fireworks. So he made the sacrifice to go. But it's so hard for him to recover from doing something so small."

Kingston is a typical toddler—when he's happy, he's rambunctious; when he's grumpy, he's a handful. Either way, Glaud says, it doesn't take much to feel like those fingers are digging into his brain.

"He doesn't know what he's doing, yelling or screaming or playing with a toy, and then he starts crying," Glaud says. "And it can be hard for me not to snap or yell."

When that happens, Glaud has to excuse himself. Nothing hurts more.

"I'll go sit in my car, or sit in a room by myself," he says. "It's like, 'dang, what are you doing? That's a doggone baby.'"

Glaud sees a visual therapist. A functional neurologist. A chiropractor. A cognitive therapist who doubles as an emotional counselor. He practices memorization with flash cards and numbers, works on his balance and eye movement, gets coaching to improve his ability to think and concentrate. He has cycled through four different migraine and mood medications. So far, none of it has helped. He's looking into Botox injections, which have been approved by the FDA to treat chronic headaches, and a numbing agent that would be injected into his upper neck.

"I've put over 50,000 miles on my car in less than a year, and I don't go anywhere else but to doctor's appointments," he says.

Glaud still loves football. If doctors cleared him to play, he'd be tempted to put on a helmet. He has a number of friends in the NFL, and believes that the league can do more to prevent them from getting seriously hurt—and to help people like him once they are.

Start with concussion education. Athletes, Glaud says, need more of it. At Rutgers and with Dallas, it was teammates who noticed he was hurt. Glaud had no idea.

"Growing up, a concussion to me was like when somebody gets knocked out, or they get up and they look like they're drunk," he says. "Even in the NFL, nobody ever explained to me what a concussion actually was. I got most of my education from what is happening to me right now, and going to all these doctors.

"If you look at the symptoms they tell you—seeing stars, being a little dizzy—there's probably 40 concussions among all the players in a football game. When I talk to my doctors now, they're like, 'Maybe you only got diagnosed with two concussions in college and one in the NFL, but you had a lot more.' Maybe I had way more than I can even think of. It's like, dang."

In May, retired NFL wide receiver Calvin Johnson told the Detroit Free Press that he hid his concussions while playing for the Detroit Lions because the team "needed him out there on the field." That attitude can be dangerous. Medical research indicates that suffering multiple concussions and suffering a second concussion while the symptoms of a previous concussion have not yet resolved both can increase the risk of short- and long-term neurological harm.

Calvin Johnson claims he hid concussions during his nine-year NFL career. Photo by Tim Fuller-USA TODAY Sports

In response, the NFL and other sports leagues have adopted rules and procedures designed to remove concussed athletes from play and to keep them sidelined until doctors clear them to return. Glaud is grateful for those rules: they kept him from continuing with the Cowboys, and possibly making his condition worse.

He also thinks they should be stronger. Currently, the NFL requires players placed on injured reserve to remain there for the duration of the season. A recent Harvard Medical School report commissioned by the NFL Players Association suggested creating a separate seven-day disabled list for concussed players—something Major League Baseball already does, and something the report says would reduce the pressure on athletes to hide concussions or return too quickly from brain injuries:

A player's recovery time from a concussion can easily range from no games to several games. The uncertain recovery times create pressure on the player, club, and club doctor. Each roster spot is valuable and clubs constantly add and drop players to ensure they have the roster that gives them the greatest chance to win each game day. As a result of the uncertain recovery times for a concussion, clubs might debate whether they need to replace the player for that week or longer. The club doctor and player might also then feel pressure for the player to return to play as soon as possible. By exempting a concussed player from the 53 man roster, the club has the opportunity to sign a short term replacement player in the event the concussed player is unable to play. At the same time, the player and club doctor would have some of the return-to-play pressure removed.

Glaud concurs. He also believes that guaranteeing more money to players regardless of injury would help. Johnson made over $100 million during his nine-year career. The average player earns much less over a much shorter span. Glaud knows active players who have hid concussions. One friend, he says, told him, I know I'm going to be fucked up when this is over.

"Calvin Johnson wanted to play because he had competitive spirit," Glaud says. "But if you're at the bottom of a roster or trying to make it, trying not to get cut, you're adding a whole financial aspect to it. A lot of us don't have nothing to go back home to."

Ed Wasielewski, Glaud's agent, says that guaranteed contracts would be a "game-changer" for the health and well-being of rank-and-file NFL players. "As an agent for 15 years, I can tell you that players tend to try to rush back from certain injuries, including concussions," he says. "If the NFL and NFLPA could come up with some kind of system with a salary floor for each player, that would make a lot of sense.

"The off-season runs from after the Super Bowl all the way to final [roster] cuts around Labor Day. Players are working with teams all the time. You can get a concussion in a simple tackling drill, or on a routine tackle or block. But because a player is incentivized to make the team in September—because that's the only way he makes his money—he's likely to hide concussion symptoms so he can continue to play and practice, feeling he has to tough it out because he can't make the 53-man roster from the training room."

The NFL and the NFLPA offer benefits to former players with brain injuries, but Glaud mostly doesn't qualify. For example, the league retirement plan provides disability payments to former players with at least three "credited" seasons of experience. Glaud only has two, because one of his seasons was spent on the Buccaneers' practice squad. Similarly, the league's 88 Plan and class action concussion lawsuit settlement pay out cash to retirees suffering from dementia and other severe neurological disorders. Glaud's post-concussion syndrome doesn't rise to that level.

The NBA, the NHL, and MLB generally offer lifetime health insurance to former players. The NFL does not. For now, worker's compensation covers the cost of Glaud's doctor's appointments. His wife's insurance pays for prescription medication. But the future is uncertain. What if Glaud never gets better? What if he can't go back to Rutgers and complete his degree in information technology, or work at a regular job?

One of Glaud's doctors recommended a brain injury specialist at New York University. When Glaud called to set up an appointment, he found out the specialist didn't accept worker's comp. Another doctor referred him to a clinic located in New Mexico. "That one would cost me $10,000 out of pocket," he says. "I'm leery to spend that much with no guarantee of it working."

Glaud has considered reaching out to Boston University and the University of North Carolina, where researchers are studying brain injury in football players, but hasn't yet picked up the phone. "I have a family and a child," he says. "I can't just get up and be gone for months."

"I pray a lot," Kassandra says. "He prays a lot. He's been to so many doctors. We're both willing to do things to make him better, but we are both losing hope. Ka'Lial says all the time, 'Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like?'"

Glaud earned about $350,000 in the NFL. He saved his money, and owns rental properties that generate income. Kingston is healthy. Kassandra has a good job. His family is supportive. He knows that things could be much worse.

"Imagine if you're on the practice squad for just one year, made almost nothing, now you're unable to get a job, you have a family, and your life is going to shit," Glaud says. "How are they going to afford gas to do to doctor's appointments every other day?"

Two years ago, Glaud was preparing for training camp; today he's more likely to spend time lying on his floor, waiting for a headache to calm down. Playing football gave him goals to accomplish, obstacles to overcome, a daily routine and a sense of purpose. Now Glaud often wonders, Does the NFL really care about concussions, or guys like him? When he was in Texas, he says, the Cowboys checked in with him every day, but afterward, "it has been me by myself dealing with this shit." The sport moves on. Glaud is trying to do the same. Only his head still hurts.

"Not that I need someone to hold my hand," he says. "But I didn't get hurt my damn self. It wasn't a car accident. I didn't fall out of a tree. I got hurt playing football. And I haven't been myself the whole damn time since."

Football's Brain Injury Crisis Isn't Just for Star Players published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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