#but the first 3 are references to the canonverse

[raiiny-bay]

the kids released a new album

#ts4 #simblr #ts4 edit #ts4 render #sims 4 #myedits #AUverse #dhestyn #kelly #ok i actually have things to say about this #FIRST OF ALL this is not what i intended to make when i sat down & started working on the bandAU #i had this big elaborate thing planned & then i realized... i didn't wanna do it. at least. not right now lol #idk why i think everything i make needs to be so elaborate & involved bc it doesn't?? like where did i get that idea from? #i can just make something small & silly sometimes yk #n e way. this is like. one of the kids' albums i guess? my thought is that dhes wrote it/was in charge of it #that's why he's on the cover. #kel writes most of their albums (w help from the others ofc) but dhes really wanted to try writing one & this is what came of it #most of the titles don't actually mean anything. they're just like. random words i thought dhes would use lol #but the first 3 are references to the canonverse #also i originally wanted to have dhes shirtless bc 1. symbolism of like vulnerability? #but also 2. i thought the lighting would look pretty against his skin #BUT he has a death note tattoo right there between his shoulder blades & i just.......... could not take him seriously like that so #he had to keep his clothes on

[mrcformoso]

Parallels and Details (part 2) for Paper Flowers for the God of Gods

This focuses mostly on Chapters 4-7. For Chapters 1-3, you can find it in Part 1

If you haven’t read the fic yet, this is in reference to my HuaLian fic Paper Flowers for the God of Gods! It’s a FlowerGod!XL AU in canonverse with Rapunzel vibes and Persephone & Hades vibes and an ungodly amount of flower language.

Again, OMG the response to this fic is UNREAL. Like I had to refresh it over and over because I couldn’t believe how much love it was receiving. This fic was both an emotional and mental ride hahaha because I really wanted to channel MXTX as much as possible.

If I was going to revamp the universe, I wanted to make sure that it was as detailed as possible, and so here’s another roundup of the details in this fic because The Brain Hurts But We Are Doing Our Best.

THIS IS ASSUMING YOU HAVE READ UNTIL CHAPTER 7. Please don’t accidentally spoil yourselves. It will be worth it, I promise hahaha this is mostly for me to show off point out details because these chapters got a bit emotional and just to show how much work I put in this hahaha

SMALL DETAILS - I’m a big fan of inputting tiny little details in this fic, whether it be a repeating phrase or calling out certain things that are for foreshadowing or for mood purposes

“He looked up, and up, and – oh”

The first instance of this line was in Chapter 3, during HC’s flashback: 

Hong-er, raising his arms in defense against the intruder as he looked up – and up – and – oh.

This was then repeated in Chapter 4, when Xie Lian rolled the dice and was waiting for San Lang.

Before he could even see the result, he heard the soft landing of footsteps beside him.

He looked up, and up, and – oh.

And finally, repeated one more time in Chapter 7, after HC’s confession, right before seeing the flowers on Xie Lian’s hair

1.He looked up, and up, and – oh.

Basically, it’s all instances when they were feeling extremely anxious and they look up and it’s like saying oh, there you are.

Foreshadowing phrases from flashbacks

So the first instance for example is Chapter 4 during XL’s flashback where it talks a bit about his eventual punishment and HC’s death. Those are direct quotes lifted from the actual flashback on Chapter 7. There’s also repeating ones in Chapter 6.

Capitalization and how important Xie Lian is to Hua Cheng using the power of Capital Letters.

Another thing people don’t really notice, but in Hua Cheng’s POV, he always refers to Xie Lian as his God with a capital G, but all other gods are with a small letter g, indicating the difference in how he regards them.

CALLBACKS AND REFERENCES - I love cyclical poetry and calling back events within the fic. Also, when I write canonverse AUs I love calling back to the canon, or referencing the canon in a way that makes sense in the new universe I made. I also try sometimes to add little references to other things I love.

The two deputy gods - and how important this scene actually was

In the Prologue, there was a super, super short scene where two deputy gods were walking around and one explained Xie Lian’s Gardens to the other, before they’re interrupted by HC. More than just a “haha, HC is gonna kill them” kind of thing, in this chapter it was used as a mode of world building, to establish what Heaven thinks of XL and of minor gods in general, as well as establish that HC made his way to heaven.

However, this is referenced again in Chapter 4. Because HC takes out those two gods, and it causes trouble for Qi Rong, SQX was given the opening to talk to XL about HC. This reveals to XL that San Lang’s real identity was HC (he knew there was a ghost king, and he knew the ghost king was San lang, but he didn’t know his real name)

This leads to Chapter 5 where, because he knows HC is SL, XL brings him to his territory to hide him when he couldn’t teleport out of the festival, which led to the morning reveal of Puqi temple.

Basically, the two deputies were the reason for The Confession in Chapter 7. Thank you, random characters.

Butterfly Weeds - I also think I may have traumatized all my readers from this flower.

Xie Lian’s hair has two indicators of his mood. The first is what flowers grow on his hair, and the second is the state of the flowers (the droop when he’s sad for instance).

So the Butterfly Weed Reveal™ was foreshadowed as early as the prologue. I deliberately didn’t explain what Butterfly Weeds meant because it was a setup for Chapter 6. But if you recall the prologue, XL was waiting on the bridge while looking at his reflection and this was the description I used:

He tucked his hair back behind his ear. It was Butterfly Weeds today, their small, orange buds littered the top of his head, down the length of his hair. He plucked a dead leaf from his hair, letting it fall on the river water, distorting his own reflection.

You learn in Chapter 3 from HC’s POV that Xie Lian’s hair flowers die when he’s really sad, so if you go back, it’s the first indication that XL in the prologue was Not Okay. The river distorting his own reflection was also a metaphor for his mental state and how he was not showing his Real Self.

The Blue Hydrangea

Sooo it was super quickly mentioned but the bookmark in Chapter 6:

He lifted up an old book, one with a bookmark made of a pressed blue hydrangea. 

This is the blue hydrangea that XL grew in his hair and gifted to Hua Cheng in Chapter 2:

…and in an act that surprised Xie Lian, [San Lang] tucked the Hydrangea behind his ear with a cute little “now we match, Gege!”

Which means the book came from Hua Cheng’s collection and not heaven. He literally gave the book to He Xuan to deliver to XL, and also kept the flower that XL gave him hahaha

The Page™ 

Chapter 6, the section of XL’s thoughts as he descends into the Bad Place in his mind was deliberately written in those short lines to sort of emulate the It Hurts page of the novel. I couldn’t really do that in fanfiction because this is not a physical book but I hoped it gave the same vibes.

Chapter 190™ 

There was really no reason for the human face disease and the stabby stabby but I kept the spirit of the torture XL experienced but through the shackles attached to him.

I also kept the spirit of Ghost Flame Hua Cheng unable to do anything until he burned everyone in teenager Hong-er unable to help until he started starving himself in XL’s temple while praying.

The formation of XL’s Habits

After the reveal of how Hong-er dies to save XL in Chapter 7, we see that XL starts showing the habits that we see him have in Chapter 2. That includes pacing around the perimeter, around and around until the sun sets, him looking at his own reflection in the river to see the flowers in his hair, and of course, the next point:

“It was a nice day. All days are nice.”

THE MOST PAINFUL ONE. IT HURT ME TO DO THIS.

This was actually first implied in the Prologue, but it was a more obvious repetition in Chapter 2 where each section started with “It was a nice day. All days are nice.” Initially, the implication is that it’s what he’s trying to convince himself is true (that all days are nice in heaven, therefore he is okay) But in Chapter 7 it is revealed that he started saying this after Hong-er dies. This shows that he started waiting since back then, and continued waiting the same way until he meets HC.

IT IS ALSO A REFERENCE TO THE NOVEL. It is supposed to emulate the year where XL was waiting for Hua Cheng to return. Because in this fic, XL is waiting for his devotee from his final request, and that’s why it’s the same vibe.

Princess Bride reference!

A cheeky little one. “Your wish is my command” which was first uttered by Hua Cheng in Chapter 5, brought back with more significance in Chapter 7 after XL asks him to be saved. In reference of course to the famous “As you wish” quote from the movie.

HUALIAN’S BACKSTORY - symbolisms, parallels, and running towards one another. I AM SO PROUD OF THIS. This was literally the first thing I had to flesh out of when I made this AU because the rest of the story had to be written around this and WHEN I TELL YOU the amount of time I spent making this omg –

Hua Cheng’s red string

In Chapter 3, we see that Xie Lian wrapped a vine with a lotus flower around Hong-er’s finger and he declared Hong-er as one of his flowers. Hua Cheng wears a red string now on the same spot.

Hua Cheng’s umbrella

The umbrella will make an appearance again soon! But yes, the red umbrella that Hua Cheng closes at the Prologue was the same umbrella Xie Lian hovers over Hua Cheng in chapter 3.

Hua Cheng’s name + Crimson Rain Sought Flower

THE INSPO FOR THIS FIC! Hua Cheng, literally meaning ‘Flower City’. After he dies, he changes his name to this to honor his Flower God, and tbh it holds a lot more significance in this fic.

Also, it changed the meaning of Hua Cheng’s title. Instead of Hua Cheng protecting the flower from the bloody rain, I made it so that HC deliberately protects any flower since they are considered his ‘siblings’.

“I want to be one of your flowers”

In Chapter 3, in HC’s flashback we see that Hong-er wanted to be XL’s flower when reincarnated because he wants to always be with XL. XL acknowledges this.

And although XL doesn’t put it together that Hong-er and “the teenage boy” were the same person, XL subconsciously considers him as his flower because of how loyal he was, and so XL took care of him like how he takes care of all his flowers.

And remember in Chapter 5, how XL reacted to seeing his flowers die?

Yeah. He felt that way, and mayhaps even worse, when HC died. The flowers in his hair rotted in just the same way.

“Wu Ming”

Not really done by name. But. If you notice, Hong-er never introduces himself, and Xie Lian never knew the name of his favorite devotee. I couldn’t do the “Wu Ming” thing because that was XL being deliberately cruel in the canon, and in this they have a much softer relationship.

But technically HC still becomes Wu Ming in a sense that he is endlessly devoted to XL and he sacrifices himself to save XL, so the spirit of Wu Ming is still in this fic.

San Lang (or, the three lives)

So the whole “San Lang” name in canon was a) a cheeky affectionate name (Lang is usually a term of endearment), and b) the “San” or 3 or third references the 3 lives San Lang lived (Hong-er, Wu Ming, Hua Cheng)

Now, in this fic, it means the same thing but in different contexts:

Hong-er is “reborn” as one of XL’s flowers in Chapter 3 - remember right before this, Hong-er mentions he wants to die and be reincarnated, to which XL asks “what would you like to reincarnate as” and gives him a lotus petal which means Renew, or Rebirth. This was the “end” of his first life.

Hong-er (or “the boy”) physically dies praying to XL for seven days straight without eating or sleeping. This is the end of his second life.

Hua Cheng is his third life, thus, San Lang.

Roses, Tulips, Gardenias, Daisies, Chrysanthemums

These were first mentioned actually in Chapter 3, but not by name because Hong-er didn’t recognize these flowers, but these were the flowers Xie Lian grew for him that ‘look like his red eye’. 

In Chapter 4, they were revealed to be the red flowers in Hua Cheng’s garden. Xie Lian comments that, if red, they all mean Love. And Hua Cheng says he grew it for a wonderful memory (his first meeting with XL)

Also in Chapter 3, He Xuan mentions that Hua Cheng’s communication array password is “five flowers, but he can’t remember the order”. In Chapter 4, it is revealed that these five flowers are his communication array password (BECAUSE HC IS A SAP AND WE LOVE HIM)

Chapter 6, He Xuan mentions these five flowers to basically tell Xie Lian that he’s working for Hua Cheng and to trust him when he gave The Book.

And of course, Chapter 7, where Xie Lian grew these flowers in his hair as his declaration of love to Hua Cheng. These are Their Flowers.

Paper Flowers

Of course, ½ of the title of this fic. Paper Flowers.

So this one doesn’t need much explanation. They are XL’s favorite offering because it’s not picked flowers, but it is mentioned explicitly in Chapter 3 that XL tells Hong-er not to pick flowers because they will die. So Hong-er dedicated himself to learn how to fold paper flowers.

This is also mentioned again in the end of chapter 3 that Hua Cheng STILL folds paper flowers every day and offers it to XL’s temple in Ghost City (at the end of the chapter). 

And during The Confession in chapter 7, Hua Cheng makes XL hold onto E-ming to free his hand as he sits and folds a paper flower to 1) show XL that he was the devotee, 2) fold a paper rose to confess his love and show his feelings and 3) you can say this is him praying to XL. The setting was with XL sitting on the bed and HC sitting in front of him. It’s kind of like he’s praying at an altar while making his offering.

E-ming - and the healthier relationship with Hua Cheng

So because Xie Lian saw HC’s red eye and declared it as beautiful, I made it so that HC and E-ming had a healthier relationship, and it’s shown in how HC takes better care of E-ming and treats him like a puppy.

In Chapter 5 he summarized his relationship that it started off as a curse (before XL), then it became his source of strength (After XL), and then his weapon. Chapter 7 shows that E-ming became his weapon because he wanted to forge something to protect XL in line with what he promised. His “wait for me, and I’ll come back to protect you” promise.

Role reversal

A theme I absolutely love with this universe! It’s very subtle, but it makes me soft.

In the flashbacks, it’s shown that XL is the one who took care of HC, from giving him a reason to live until he took care of him in his teens and made sure he was fed and sheltered and loved.

In the present time, HC becomes that person for XL, where XL is so sad and tired, HC became that person who brought him food, and validated him, and took care of him through their interactions.

“Tell me what you want”

Another theme I really wanted to incorporate in this universe. Related to the role reversal is the theme of asking for something that you want, and being able to give it to that person.

In Chapter 2, we have many instances of San Lang telling Xie Lian to just ask for what he wants, and we also have many instances of San Lang acknowledging any sort of request XL asks of him, even going away if XL says so (“You should go”)

Chapter 3, in HC’s flashback, we see that this came from XL doing the same for HC. Asking him what he wants. If you notice, XL didn’t tell HC to not kill himself when HC says he wants to die and reincarnate, but rather asked what he wanted to reincarnate as and then provide it.

Chapter 4, we see how XL’s wants are mostly ignored by other people (except SQX), until San Lang comes along, where he reassures XL that his wants are valid. Also, we see how XL 

Chapter 7, the big reveal that the entire time XL was doing what HC wanted before he died (“what do you want, I’ll do anything” “Wait for me”), and so HC goes back and asks XL again what he wants.

References to their canon themes

“Just one person is enough” - except here, it was one devotee praying for Xie Lian to overcome the shackles

“They’ve been running towards each other for 800 years” - in the sense that they’ve been doing things for each other and waiting and looking for each other for 800 years.

HuaLian back and forth - living for one another and meeting in the middle

MY DREAM with this fic was that I wanted to do in this fic was the constant back and forth between HuaLian. I revealed little by little their backstory over the course of several chapters in their POVs to showcase how important they were to each other, even when they didn’t really get to know each other that well.

Xie Lian gave Hong-er a reason to live by being ‘reborn’ as one of his flowers.

Hong-er becomes Xie Lian’s most dedicated believer, praying everyday and . Note, for a minor god this is a Big Deal because he has so few believers and temples to begin with.

Xie Lian takes care of Hong-er by feeding him, giving him company through flowers, and leading him to shelter, which was a Big Deal to homeless, abandoned Hong-er.

Xie Lian chose isolation over exile so that he could still take care of Hong-er.

Hong-er sacrificed himself by starving and not sleeping to pray non-stop to save Xie Lian from the shackles.

Hong-er asked Xie Lian to wait for him, because he was already dead set on becoming a ghost/not resting in peace in order to protect Xie Lian due to his own disappointment in himself.

Xie Lian, despite his grief, continued to live and wait in acknowledgement of Hong-er’s wish. He endured 800 years of imprisonment and mental torture in honor of Hong-er’s last wish.

Hong-er becomes HC and spends 800 years becoming a Ghost King and looking for XL so that he could fulfill his end of the wish.

And finally, they meet in the middle.

WAAAAAAA it’s so much but I super enjoyed writing this fic! Did you guys catch all of this in your read through? Are there other things you noticed? I have more, but they’ll be more fleshed out in the last 3 chapters!

#fanfic #tgcf #tgcf fanfic #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #san lang #he xuan #wip #parallels #meta post #meta analysis #paper flowers for the god of gods #i am so proud of myself #flower language

[cilil]

For the Silmarillion Gift Giving event <3:

To: Mairon From: Melkor Gift: A fancy 5 course meal Canonverse, Angbang, most importanly: have fun with it

♡ To: Mairon ♡ From: Melkor

𝓐 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓮𝔁𝓬𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓶𝓮𝓪𝓵

"I must say I am quite excited to see what you have planned for me," Mairon said with a gracious smile when he was led to his seat. 

"You will enjoy yourself, little flame. I made sure of that." 

While Mairon inspected the obsidian plates, Melkor glared at several servants over his shoulder and motioned for them to get moving. Neither mistakes nor delays were allowed today; he wanted to show just how amazing of a lover he was, better than any who had vied for the Admirable One's attention back on Almaren. 

Melkor sat down across from him, doing his best to mask his nervous frown with a charming smile. He had meticulously planned this evening, just as Mairon liked it, and picked out only the finest delicacies for their five course meal. Whereas he wasn't entirely sure about the Maia's eating habits, he figured that someone as famous for excellency as him would have a refined taste; he had even gone hunting himself to ensure only the very best meat would be served. 

Not even Eru himself would be able to protect his kitchen staff if anyone dared to mess this up. 

It was none other than Langon who came to bring the first course, probably motivated by curiosity rather than duty, and Melkor waved him off quickly to maintain privacy. 

"I see this is going to be a longer affair," Mairon commented. 

"Which I hope will be to your liking." Melkor fiddled with the cutlery, debating whether to wait for his reaction or to swiftly consume the tiny portion on his plate. 

"Oh, certainly." Mairon looked up at him through long eyelashes and savoured the taste of his food with an indulgent expression. "Though I must admit... I am looking forward to a... tasty dessert later." 

"Worry not, beloved. We shall have that, and I made sure to pick the best –" 

A small giggle interrupted Melkor. "Precious, I appreciate it, but I was not necessarily referring to food." 

"Oh."

Melkor looked down at his plate to conceal a pleased grin. He would remain ambitious, yes, but it was good to hear that he was wanted regardless and Mairon intended to wholeheartedly enjoy his company.

Mairon wants Melkor to have him for dessert

Thanks for reading and happy holidays!

taglist: @asianbutnotjapanese @a-world-of-whimsy-5 @bluezenzennie @edensrose @eunoiaastralwings @i-did-not-mean-to @melkors-big-tits @melkors-defense-attorney @singleteapot @wandererindreams

#melkor #morgoth #mairon #sauron #angbang #melkor x mairon #ainur #ficlet #silmarillion #silmarillion gift giving #cílil writes #my writing

[defeateddetectives]

had the year end fic review meme brewing in the drafts and forgot all about it until now so for my own reference and posterity's sake: 2k23 edition (while its still uh january!)

apparently i used to do this every year for a while and then had several years of writerly drought so here's manifesting more words for the years ahead!! as with previous years, using metrics from ao3

Total number of completed stories: 8

Total word count: ~8k or so

Fandoms written in: drrr!! (gasp), project k, jjk, natsume yuujinchou (really truly bar revival 2k23 or die trying!!!!!)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? the last few years had totally sapped me creatively so the bar was on the floor. more than expected by that metric even if much less than i had relative to years before that.

What's your own favorite story of the year? kirigami probably! i guess the good thing about doing this a month into the new year is i dont have to mysteriously redact the yuletide reveal anymore :)

Did you take any writing risks this year? i posted drrr!! fic after ages and that wasnt bb gangsters-centric! and tried my hand at jjk characters' voices (posted only a tip of that iceberg) which was ~adventurous even though i still dont rly have a handle on em! birthright was a risk bc it was a total shot in the dark about a dynamic we havent even seen play out yet??? (more matoba siblings lore when, ms. midorikawaaaa)

Do you have any fanfic or ofic goals for the New Year? just telling myself to keep writing, dont overthink it, and remember everything you write will generally sound awkward and clunky after reading it for the 100th time without stepping away

My best story of this year: i never have an objective measure on this so my fave(s) are typically the best to me

My most popular story of this year: parthian shot & saccades are tied at this moment by ao3 kudos science if we're going by that!

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: nothing stands out over the year

Most fun story to write: a few come to mind. though it was a v tiny memefill, i had a lot of fun with where the hours bend and it came very easily! fun fact: i was in the vicinity of houjicha cheesecake at the time and it subliminally crept into the fic which i only realized much later :')

more beautiful than night was also written amidst a self-indulgent single-sitting whirlwind with so much love and really felt like going back to basics because 2nd person mkiz nonsense is my brain's default state of being apparently <3

kirigami was wildly fun in a very different way like a puzzle i needed to crack and couldnt step away from until i did

Story with the single sexiest moment: mayhaps natori shuuichi ready to throw down at his first appearance in kirgami :D while maybe not what most people would call sexy, the entire dynamic and vibe throughout (anguished repressed bidirectional longing and all) was very sexy To Me!

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: wound up contemplating izaya and celty's absolutely bonkers dynamic via zero sum game in a way i dont think i had before

Hardest story to write: kirigami bc of the mental gymnastics of remixing that original vol 28 canon arc that is an absolute masterpiece in storytelling in its own right. i was very intimidated about doing it justice and as a gift-fic as well! the months leading up to yuletide were also bananas overall so, all things considered, it's a miracle that it came through on time!!

parthian shot also comes to mind bc the current canonverse exorcists dynamic, as delicious as it is, feels so frail and tenuous and i find myself wanting to handle it with the utmost care and respect when trying to show it

Biggest Disappointment: the stories i invested a lot in, i wound up fairly happy with! [endless number of ancient wips glare at me in disappointment]

Biggest Surprise: bar revival 2k23 in its entirety tbh :') also probably the extent to which i fell into jjk/stsg hell but i guess you cant really tell from the finished works for better or worse!!!

#memetime #for reference #year end fic review

[arlertdarling]

100+ follower event ♡

EVENT CLOSED

thank you to everyone who has participated!

i’ll aim to complete the rest of your requests this month, but keep in mind that i’m starting/still figuring out my next steps in education, so i’ll probably be quite busy and there may be delays, in which case i will let you know.

your patience and understanding is really appreciated and thank you again to those who have supported me and/or sent in a request<3

i never thought i’d actually be doing one of these, but here i am, at 100+ followers!? i was honestly quite shocked when i reached 50, but to think there’s twice as many of you now? it literally blows my mind, so thank you! i know it’s not a huge milestone but it means a lot to me and to celebrate, i’ve decided to do this request event!

this is my first time doing something like this and i don’t want to overwhelm myself, so the event will close after 10 requests and they’ll just be drabbles/short oneshots (200-800 words) — though i may be open to doing more, if i get that many and feel up to it! i’m not sure how long they’ll take me, but i’ll post updates on my progress.

below you’ll find more info and some rules about the event, so please read everything if you are interested in participating<3

reblogs are appreciated!

rules

sfw only

1 character per request and up to 2 requests per person

i prefer writing gender neutral and (relatively) ambiguous readers, so please don’t ask for specific characteristics

please refer to my general writing rules for what themes/content i do and don’t write

i’d prefer if you were following me but that’s not a requirement

i may decline your request (e.g. if it makes me uncomfortable or doesn’t abide by my rules)

if you have any questions, send me an ask!

characters

armin arlert

eren jaeger

mikasa ackerman

levi ackerman

hange zoë

genres

fluff

angst

hurt/comfort

prompts

gentle

bouquet

dawn

balcony

stereo

rain

party

dessert

moon

warmth

gift

blanket

pearls

dream

drive

teacup

garden

photograph

movie

haircut

TAKEN REQUEST SLOTS 10/10

in your request, please include a character, a genre and a prompt, AU OR trope!

you can also specify if you’d like it to be platonic or romantic and set in canon or a modern AU. if not specified, i’ll choose romantic and the setting i think fits.

examples:

hi! could i have a platonic hurt/comfort drabble for levi with the prompt ‘blanket’?

for the event, i’d like a fluffy childhood friends to lovers drabble for armin in canonverse!

can i request an angst drabble set in modern AU for eren with the ‘rain’ prompt?

for your follower event, i’d like to request a fluff drabble set in a flower shop AU with florist!hange

at the end of the event, i’ll make a mini masterlist of all the completed requests. you will also be able to find them, and any other event posts/updates, under the tag #{♡} juno’s 100+ event !!

thank you again to everyone who has followed me, reblogged, commented on and supported my writing! i’m looking forward to your requests<3

#boosts appreciated #!!! #100 followers #follower event #follower milestone #drabble requests #drabble event #request event #aot requests #x reader #aot x reader #snk x reader #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #{♡} juno’s 100+ event !!

[levmada]

Congratulations on 1k followers!!!! 🥳 I hope you don’t mind my jumping in to participate in your event. I was thinking…maybe canonverse for Levi with the prompt “you always see the good in people. even me”?

of course i dont mind!! thank u for joining <3 i love this one n i hope u do too

content/warnings: civilian!Reader, fluff OVERLOAD, a little hurt/comfort, almost slice of life

wc: ~2.0k

The moment you step out of the steamy bathroom, freshly showered and in a clean change of nightclothes, Levi yanks your side of the blankets from its neat tuck, and clears his throat expectantly.

You giggle. Hands on your hips, you saunter over to the bed. “Were you waiting to do that?”

He deadpans. “I expect you to make up for lost time.”

“You were the one busy all day.”

A roll of his eyes. Semantics.

You’re referring to an all-day trip to Mitras Erwin dragged him to, to talk politics. Levi was the one busy, yes, but you have ample time to make up for it now. It’s not every day—far from it actually—that he gets time off to come see you.

However, he wouldn’t trade convenience for you living a life like his. He almost… envies a life baking cakes and bread and cookies all day.

“What’re you waiting for?” he huffs.

You tap your chin in thought. “I’m thinking about it.”

He hates that look on your face; it means you plan to tease him.

“I need a glass of water first.”

He reaches and snags your wrist, nodding over to the cold glass on your beside, next to the glowing lantern.

“Oh,” you murmur. Your features soften up considerably, cheeks making room for a soft smile.

“Come.” Pull. “Here.” Yank. “Now.”

Pathetic. He’s aware he’s being needy. He chocks it up to all the bullshit he had to deal with today.

Being swept up by a swarm of nobles and aristocrats is never kind to him. Down to the way he talks, all he earns is disrespect because he’s so different.

He can’t even defend himself. Every time he’s invited to these things, Erwin strongly advises Levi to refrain from speaking (to keep his mouth shut), because Levi has a propensity to fall short of controlling his temper (pigs piss Levi off).

Fucking finally, you climb into bed beside him and roll so your arm is stretched across his chest. You press a feather-light kiss to his forehead, and then his cheek as his hands settle loosely around your lower back.

He aims for a proper kiss, but you keep dodging.

“Hey.”

“I love it when you pout,” you giggle.

“Tch.” He takes your jaw, and kisses that smirk right off your lips. You acquiesce him, and fall into it.

“Was today rough?” you speak against his lips.

He wants to kiss you more before he has to think about today again.

“Hm.” He kisses you hard, hard enough to swell, but with reverent slowness.

Even though he’s needy, it’s just that: he wants attention. No more teasing. You just better not make him beg.

Your thumb traces his thin brow while your other hand comes up to cradle his jaw, guiding him. The kiss turns into a silky soft massage, and only then does he allow himself to sigh through his nose, and relax.

He leans away, satisfied. For now.

You press another soft peck, then one to the tip of his nose. It scrunches.

“Tell me about it.” Your soft eyes search his.

Suddenly, he’s reluctant. The humdrum part of military work that bothers Levi (and he has a tendency to bitch when he feels like it) doesn’t belong in bed with you.

“It’s not important,” he replies. “How was your day?”

“More boring than yours, I assure you.” You smooth his neat bangs all the way back over his forehead, and give it a kiss. “You can rant. I’ve never been to Mitras.”

“It’s not… all that.”

A hand bullies itself over his shoulder, and starts to rub. Levi’s teeth grit; he resists the groan that rises up in his chest. He squirms slightly.

“How annoying is royalty—on a scale from one to ten?”

“Ten.”

“Wow,” you quip, “a perfect score.”

He presses his lips so they don’t quirk up. It often stumps him, why you want to hear about him all the time—not just the “exciting” parts of his life. He hopes you don’t envy him.

You give the nape of his neck a squeeze, and finally, he gives in.

As he thought, though. A recap of his day soon tailspins into a rant. Then a tirade about monocles.

“The ugliest accessory I can think of,” he grumbles, and opens his eyes. He can’t remember when he closed them. “Fashion in the Interior makes me sick. You’d think the rich could afford more than half a pair of glasses.”

Warm breath hits his chin as you giggle, earning a soft pat where his hand is stroking your hair.

“Turn over,” you murmur.

“Why?” he asks, turning over.

You laugh again. “Your hair is so soft. And it’s one of those things that put you to sleep easier.”

How do you admit to all that… so easily?

He huffs through his nose in lieu of denying it. There is a quality to stroking his hair which calms him down almost to a startling degree. Not even chamomile tea can compare.

(But it’s not like it knocks him out. He can fight it, and reminding himself of that is also, ironically, reassuring.)

“If you fall asleep first... you have to make breakfast.”

Levi pretends to mull the bet over. You have made a habit of these since he likes this little hair ritual as much as you seem to.

Partly because you’re good at something that isn’t even a skill. You have noticed what combing his undercut backwards does to him, and tucking any loose strands behind his ears makes him melt.

But, for some absurd reason, you like pushing every bit of his bangs out of his face, too. He jokes that your petting is borderline obsessive, if only he didn’t fall prey to what you do with him each and every time.

“Fine,” he murmurs. “Prepare to lose.”

Fact is, he will pretend to fall asleep first so he can make you breakfast anyway. You’ve always seemed to enjoy his cooking, and no matter how tired he is, he is always up before you. And if he can do one more thing to show how thankful he is for you, it is more guaranteed to please you than any spiel he could force past his lips. It is not in him.

Plus, with summer coming around, more expeditions beg to be planned, and as such he has had less and less time to spare for you lately. Letters can only do so much.

Of course, he doesn’t do this little trick every time. Then you would get suspicious.

You pout. “I’ll make you fall asleep faster than you ever have in your life.”

He can’t help it: his lips upturn, laughing a little through his nose. “I doubt that.”

“You’d be a fool to underestimate me,” you threaten, voice low.

He hides his expression in a plush pillow. In response, you slide your leg between his, tangling them, and kiss the side of his mouth, baiting him back out again. He’s rewarded with a kiss, and again one to his blushing cheek. Then his other cheek. Then his forehead.

When did his eyes close again? He opens them.

“Stop that,” he mumbles, blushing madly.

“Make me,” you whine. “I haven’t seen you in forever."

This bitter world would be hell instead of a nightmare without you in it. It occurs to him, he is in a fantastic mood, better than he has felt all week (since he last visited).

He used to think you make him so happy because you were innocent, which simply isn’t true. Everyone has seen strife, him an abnormal amount, and yet he feels this way.

That thought leads him down darker trails. Some stories, tidbits, or explanations, he has shared with you, but not all of them. Not because of your peace of mind, but because he wants desperately for them not to matter. He can’t afford to look back.

This undeniable lack of understanding makes him wonder if a time waits when you refuse to put up with his… damage.

Or, say, those times when he ends up snapping at you when you do stupidly kind things for him when you don’t have to, like insist on washing and ironing his uniform or baking something he likes. Lemon cookies are complicated. He could do it himself (the least he can do is buy the ingredients).

Excuses like these are pathetic, he knows. He just… finds it impossible to comprehend why you feel he deserves all of it. And how the fuck does he ask?

He would rather snap, because maybe this time, or the next, or the next, you would realize your mistake and quit putting up with him.

Only upon reflection does he realize what he does and why, but he knows he’s doing it and can’t seem to stop, which makes him lower than shit.

Manipulating this game, even. Does that not count as lying to you?—When you have never been anything but good to him?

“You’re being quiet,” you say. “What’re you thinking about?”

At some point, you must have turned the lantern down. He blinks into darkness, rubbing your waist.

“You never told me about your day,” he whispers. Is aiming to take the attention off himself bad to you?—What is he thinking?

“…I did, a little. You must’ve been too in your head to hear. What’s wrong?”

He bites the inside of his cheek. “Tell me again.”

“It doesn’t matter right now,” you insist into his cheek. “I don't like it when... you avoid talking to me like this.”

And he doesn’t like when you get upset about it. He would rather not bring down the mood more than he already has, but regardless of the fact that you’re the stubborn person he has ever met, even more than Isabel, he should talk about it.

He sighs softly into the darkness, his lips seeking yours with a soft smack. “I was just thinking. You always see the good in people. Even me.”

Your quiet is telling.

He shifts up on his elbow. “…I can get you more water.”

“No.”

An arm is thrown over his shoulder, startling him before he’s thrust back down and crashes on top of you.

“‘Vi, there are plenty of people I don’t see good in.”

Regretfully, he lays his head down on your chest. “Don’t have to say that for me.”

Your impossibly tight hold tightens more. “I said that because it’s true. I always want to… but I can’t always. And when that happens it makes me want to tear my hair out.

“You, however, make it so easy once someone gets to know you.”

In lieu of any intelligent reply, he settles on his side, listening to your steady heartbeat thrum under your skin. He doesn’t cling to people, never has, except you tuck some strands of black behind his ears and rub his back and it feels like he suddenly can’t risk letting you get away.

He blinks into inky blackness again, words and thoughts racing around his mind in pointless directions.

“I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t such a good man.”

His chest lifts. He is paralyzed—this always happens when you tell him that. Especially when he’s in the trenches of his mind. When he doubts.

“…Don’t get sappy on me,” he whispers, squeezes your waist. His head turns almost imperceptibly so he can press his lips over your heart.

He doesn’t know how, so he says it like this.

You hum. “Look, I know how likely it is that you let me win our bets sometimes.”

His stomach drops.

“I know you aren’t good at the sleeping thing… and you like to do things for me. It’s cute.”

That’s just too much. He would rather hide in your neck than say literally anything else. His lips press to your collarbone. Jaw. Just below your ear.

You sigh, at ease, and scratch at his undercut. He grunts softly.

“Still! Prepare to lose,” you chuckle.

Enter the event here!

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[theweirdhybrid]

Have you heard of movie saiyuki 1960 wukong (if not you can find it on YouTube just put saiyuki 1960 if you want)

I do wonder how the wukongs would react to him since he does not seem to be even a hundred years old, and was not even trap under the mountain(whatever it was) for even hundred years, and didn't take that long to complete his journey (kinda all assumptions seeing how not much time seem to have passed in the movie)

Yes I've heard of it! Your ask is what motivated me to actually watch it!

Rin Rin is adorable and I love her, she deserves the world <3

As much as I would love to add Goku and Rin Rin to the Canonverse, the cast is already big enough as it is. But that doesn't mean I can't add them as a permanent addition to the Skitverse >:) (note: Skitverse doesn't have a plot and never will, but it will still get things like this from time to time)

I'd say from the looks of things Goku (Saiyuuki!Wukong) would be around five or six years old, maybe ten. And compared to the others, he'd be the weakest, though that doesn't mean Goku is weak on his own, he's plenty strong, just not on the level of the others.

The only real indication we get of time passing over a span of years in Saiyuuki is when Rin Rin tells Goku that the chestnut tree had born fruit five times since he'd been away, which indicates he'd been gone five years. So, by that evidence, he just barely hits the age a normal monkey would've matured. I'd say only a few months passed since Goku started and completed his Journey, since I doubt Rin Rin would've been bedridden from the cold for years and survived, let alone been able to walk after years of muscle decay.

Now, how these guys would actually react to this is honestly up for debate, buuuut I'm of the belief the vast majority of Wukong's are doting towards their subjects, and in the original text the monkey subjects refer to him as "Grandfather Sun" so...

They would react to him in three stages.

One: They can't get over how incredibly tiny he is. Sure, he's the normal height for a monkey, but that means he's the size of a human toddler. In short, he just barely matches Liuer's height. Liuer barely reaches Dasheng's waist. So at first they try very hard not to baby him because "That is so incredibly rude he's the same age as us he's just short he is not a child" and then they learn his age

Two: The moment it comes out that he's five years old any concept of treating him like an adult is thrown out the window. Oh you want to go outside? Well I'm coming with you! I'd be a monster to let a monkey as young as you wander the mountain alone. Have you eaten anything today Goku? Don't answer that I got you dinner- Cue a lot of babying and carrying poor Goku around, he doesn't get to go anywhere without Adult Supervision. They hold him like a baby monkey, and he's super pissed about it but he's not helping his case when he clings to them like a baby monkey does.

Three: Goku gets fed up with the babying and screams at all of them to stop treating him like a damn child! He's a king! Fuck off! They actually respect this, though that shouldn't be surprising. But now they're treating him like an adult and he's no longer getting carried around, and when he says he's going outside they just tell him to have fun and oh, he never realized how boring it is to play outside by himself. Hm. The only good part is meal time, since they all eat together. But he's now very lonely and he doesn't know how to feel about it. But he's an adult! So he does what any respectable adult would do: doesn't communicate his problems. When Dasheng was reading something on the couch, Goku walked over and climbed up his legs to settle on his chest and take a nap. Dasheng, of course, is a thousand years old and faced the armies of heaven with a yawn, so he of course tries very hard not to cry from how adorable that was. Goku does this with anyone who dares to lay on their back, and when he wants to play he just grabs whoever's closest to him by the hand and drags them outside. He is, after all, the least traumatized of the group and the youngest, so he hasn't quite left his childhood behind. He will in time, but for now he enjoys his childhood while he can.

#into the wukongverse au #lmk

[punkpoemprose]

A Convenient Arrangement Part 12

Universe: Canonverse Arranged Marriage AU Rating:T Length: 3530 Words A/N: Thank you to the friends that lovingly remind me to write sometimes. Next chapter will be the engagement party, I promise!

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part10] [Part 11]

The festival preparations were back in full swing in no time. Kristoff saw Anna every night now, they shared his bed every evening and woke whenever one or both of them were summoned by morning knocks against his door. Getting to bed together was an immense effort on both of their parts, but it was something that he knew they both treasured after long days with barely a glance at each other.

Given it was a festival in celebration of their marriage, he couldn’t help but feel that they really should have been allowed more time together to prepare, but unfortunately neither of them made their own schedules.

Anna promised at night, between sleepy kisses, that it would get better after the event was over. She told him that once they started their regular duties they would be apart less, or at least their time apart would be more regularly scheduled which would allow them to meet more often throughout the day. He wasn’t certain that she wholly believed it herself, but despite this, the hope was enough to buoy them both through the days of preparation. The quick morning kisses and embraces did their fair share to serve as encouragement as well.

“Does it fit well my lord?”

Kristoff smiled at his reflection in the mirror. His normal tailor, Anders Nilsson, had been more than happy to take up a royal contract, and had profusely thanked both Kristoff and Kai throughout the entire process of his making Kristoff’s festival wear. He’d had to ask him to stop using the words “thank you” after a while, simply for the fact that the man couldn’t stop saying it. Kristoff knew how much the commission had meant to the man, he didn’t want him to feel the need to express it in the first place, let alone repeat it.

He’d outdone himself. The suit was mostly black with green, purple, and golden details that marked him as a member of the royal family and were enough to make the garments stand out in a crowd. They weren’t so overembellished that they felt ostentatious but were rather inspired by his own plainer sensibilities.

Most blessedly it fit, and he could imagine himself wearing it without passing out.

“Yes,” he breathed with great appreciation toward the tailor, “Thank you so much Anders. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to put this together so quickly.”

“You’d be surprised Kri… my lord.”

He settled into a deep bow and Kristoff could have snorted with how unnatural it looked given the man never had cause to bow before in his life until Kristoff had married Anna. There was no point to bow to harvesters and merchants who were just as common as you.

“Anders, please, just call me Kristoff.”

Kai smiled in the mirror behind him. He’d been encouraging him for weeks to insist upon others referring to him by his title, but evidently his valet found no issues with a man being informal with his own tailor.

“Kristoff,” the tailor said and visibly relaxed before continuing, “It didn’t take too terribly long. My wife likes to do the embroidery and she’s so far along now that she was practically begging me to give her something to do in her chair. She balanced the whole project on her belly as she worked. She insists, though I hope it’s not too forward, that I give her appreciation to your valet for sending her the exact patterns the Princess’s dressmaker was using for her gown’s embroidery.”

He thought for a moment about Ander’s wife. When he’d last seen her, she’d barely been showing. By now she must certainly be as round with child as the tailor described. He was pleased that despite the effort they must have expended working on his clothes, that he was able to send some money their way for that soon to arrive child. He nearly lost himself in a passing thought about how Anna might look with her hands pressed lovingly to her rounded abdomen, the ring he still needed to give her on her finger.

He forced himself out of the daydream. He’d told Anna that they never needed to have children together, that they never even needed to be intimate, and here he was dreaming of her carrying his child, instead of paying attention to the words that had just been said to him.

Patterns? For her gown’s embroidery?

Kristoff turned back to Kai then, who was smiling as broad as Kristoff ever saw him. “Anna and I are going to match?”

He wasn’t certain as to why it made his heart leap in the way it did, to imagine himself and Anna dressed as a pair. Everyone knew of their marriage, there was no doubting that, and yet a visual cue to their bond thrilled him in a way he’d never imagined clothes pleasing him. So many things that had never mattered to him before, now mattered because of Anna.

Kai nodded, his grin schooling itself somewhat into a more neutral expression.

“At the behest of the Queen, and the Princess’s as well, of course. She wanted no question of who her husband was. I have a feeling the regalia will leave no room for that question, but primarily I think the pair of them were hoping for a united front in every possible detail. Which brings me to our need to take our leave from this room, I’m afraid we’re overdue for our next appointment of the day my lord.”

Kristoff couldn’t help but to sigh, shaken from his momentary quiet revelry. He’d been rushed along every day for well over a week now, any of the relaxation of his and Anna’s “day off” was a distant memory now.

“Fine then, I’ll get changed.”

He looked down at the comfortably fitted suit and felt, strangely, like he didn’t want to take it off.

“Thank you, Anders, it’s fantastic. Please thank your wife for me and know that there will be more requests coming your way very soon. There will be no need for a rush of course, if I don’t see you again before your babe is born, my best wishes to you both for a happy and healthy child.”

Kristoff watched the man open and close his mouth, undoubtedly stifling a “thank you” Kristoff didn’t really want to hear in return.

There are some perks to a royal title certainly.

***

Anna hated schedules. She didn’t mind all the meetings in the day, but invariably someone always ran late and oftentimes her written schedule was so vague that she wasn’t even certain of why exactly she was waiting in the middle of the empty library in the first place. Were she not on such a tight timeline through the day she doubted she’d care, but she had a dress fitting and she had to meet with Elsa to finalize the festival menu and she’d been running late in a meeting before this so she’d skipped lunch. Which was all to say that she was generally cranky and exhausted.

When Kristoff walked in looking almost as cranky and exhausted as she was, still tying his sash on, Anna let herself relax. On days like today where her schedule was tight and she needed to focus she tried not to think about how badly she missed him. She couldn’t help herself when her feet moved of their own accord toward him, her body acutely aware of how much she missed him despite her brain’s unwillingness to address it.

He’d just finished tying his sash when he seemed to notice her crashing into him. His arms wrapped around her by what seemed to be initially a reflex, and then he squeezed her close.

“Anna!”

There was a smile in his voice that she couldn’t see with her face in his shirt front. She all but melted into his touch, and even though they were blocking the entryway to the room, they stayed that way for a good long time.

“I didn’t think I was going to see you until tonight,” she said, “You weren’t on my schedule for the day. Did you come in for a book or…?”

“Dance lessons,” Kai said from behind her, “How serendipitous that you should be here as well.”

Anna could hear the conspiratorial tone in the man’s voice and with sudden certainty Anna knew why there was a lack of details on her schedule. This surprise had been orchestrated for them, and while it wasn’t necessarily a break, it was at least the least frustrating meeting either of them had on the docket for their day.

“Oh,” Anna said, trying to stay positive as her thoughts drifted to the last time she’d danced and who it had been with. Suddenly she wished very much to be out of the library.

“Just usual festival fare,” Kai said as if it were the simplest thing in the world, “Nothing too difficult.”

Anna felt her face go hot, knowing that she was meant to help Kristoff learn, but she herself had never learned any festival dances. Her dance education had been primarily focused on courtly dances. Waltzes and ballroom and other dances that would be expected of her as a princess. The lack of festivals since the gates had closed had never really afforded her an opportunity to learn.

“I don’t know any,” she admitted, letting herself slip out from Kristoff’s arms slowly as she turned to Kai.

Kristoff didn’t let her go completely and she was grateful for it. His hand rested sure against her midback, and she let herself lean into his touch for comfort.

“I do.”

Kristoff’s voice was low, but warm like his touch and it sent a flutter of excitement through her. She was more than happy to let him show her a thing or two.

***

Kristoff hadn’t noticed the fiddle on the wall of the library until Kai took it down and began to play.

He plays as well as he plans. A man of many talents.

Not that he was truly paying all that much attention to the quality of the music that the man was playing because he could only really focus on Anna.

She was spinning toward and away from him, picking up the dance with great speed. Most of the festival dances he’d danced were at small celebrations and in taverns. He had never been much of a people person, but the camaraderie of the harvesters had gotten the better of him a few times. Enough, evidently, to justify his teaching Anna how to dance.

Her hair had come somewhat undone as they danced, little wavy tendrils of it bounced and flowed as they moved. It was only the fact that he was supposed to be focused on the dance that kept him from twisting his fingers in the loose strands. It would be so easy to do so and then lean in to kiss her. He didn’t even mind that Kai was there.

She was beautiful when she danced.

She’s always beautiful.

He was lucky that his full focus didn’t need to be on the steps or his infatuation with her looks would have tripped them both. Most of the festival dances he was aware of were loosely structured, not like the dances Anna was used to, but he was able to lead without trouble and she caught on just fine.

He lead her under their arms, his lower than he would normally think to hold them to make up for their difference in stature. She wasn’t a short woman, but the difference in size between them was something he was coming to notice more acutely with each night they spent together.

She was light on her feet and despite a few clumsy moments of her crashing into him, which they’d both laughed over, she was a very good dancer. He was doing his best to be the same, which was something he’d never really cared about before.

“I’m going to stomp on your toes if we have to do this part after a twirl,” Anna announced, “I can’t believe how dizzy I am.”

He couldn’t help but to laugh as he pulled her back into his arms and held her tight. It wasn’t really part of the dance, but it could be given that it was more a loose mixture of different steps than it was a set series of movements. No one could tell him that holding his wife wasn’t an acceptable variation of the dance.

“You can step on my toes anytime.”

She leaned into him and Kai stopped playing. They’d been at it for what felt like hours, but regardless of how long or short they’d been dancing Kristoff knew that Anna was ready to stop, at least for now. He did get the distinct sense however that Anna wouldn’t want to stop dancing with him when the festival day came along.

“You say that now, but when I horribly disfigure your toes, you’ll ask for a divorce.”

He wasn’t sure when they’d gotten to the point where the concept of ending their marriage was comically unlikely enough to be a joke, but he was both taken aback and pleased by the development. He ducked his head down to press a kiss to the top of her head the best he could at their awkward angle. She turned red but pressed up into his kiss on tiptoes.

“I don’t think you could mangle my toes if you tried. You’re very light. If you could though I’d of course make you suffer having a husband with ugly feet before I’d let you go. Broken toes are a small price to pay to be with you.”

She laughed, and he could feel her squeeze him tight in return. He wondered if she could feel the way his heart raced.

It was only when Kai cleared his throat that he remembered that they weren’t alone. When he was with Anna it was easy to forget the world around him. He wondered if anyone else would have ever been able to steal his attention in the way she did, but he sincerely doubted it each time the thought crossed his mind.

***

Anna pushed the small tea cart into his bedroom herself, having sent away all the remaining lady’s maids and staff for the evening after her bath. Her hair was still wet down her back and she’d eventually have to braid it herself.

“Tea?”

Kristoff smiled softly at her from across the room. They hadn’t been able to manage to eat dinner together, but as they’d parted after their dance lesson, they’d agreed to try to spend the evening talking about the festival given it was only two days away. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t discussed it yet, but it had more to do with the fact that they hadn’t discussed it at any length. Each evening they tried, one or both fell asleep halfway through any conversation.

“If you’re having some.”

She thought that she might, someday soon, know exactly how he liked his tea. She wondered if that might be a metric of love that she could quantify, a milestone she could hit to prove to the rest of the world that they were in fact in love. She didn’t need to prove it to herself anymore, even though they hadn’t said it yet.

The words will come in time.

“Then how do you take it?”

He shrugged and Anna couldn’t help but crack a smile. It was very much like him to simply take it however it was served. He complained very little about anything that was given to, or foisted upon, him. She supposed that it was just his nature to be happy with anything, or at least to not complain. She hoped that someday soon she’d get to hear his opinions a bit more freely, that he’d come to understand that he didn’t just need to take what she’d give him.

She felt her cheeks heat at the thought, the way that the words could imply something else. That she wanted him to take from her. In a way she did. She wanted him to push against her boundaries, to help her see how much she was ready to offer him when he wanted more from her.

He gave her a quizzical look, his brow lifting in a questioning expression she wasn’t ready to meet. She turned her attention quickly to the tea and in her haste, splashed a bit of the still hot tea onto her hand.

“Shit!”

Kristoff was to her before she could even grab the towel on the cart to dry her hand.

“Are you okay? Did you burn yourself? Should I get some ice… or your sister?”

“No, I’m fine, I just splashed myself with the pot. It wasn’t boiling or anything.”

His hand was around her wrist loosely, and she let him inspect her palm to his satisfaction. No burns as far as she could tell and evidently, he didn’t see anything she didn’t feel because he gently released her hand without any argument and went about pouring the tea himself.

“Sorry,” Anna managed after a moment, her breath having been caught in her lungs and her heart having been racing in her ears as he inspected her hand.

There was a part of her that was still adjusting to the level of care and scrutiny he paid her when she was hurt or upset. She’d been cared for by house staff her whole life, wanting for nothing, but she’d been lonely, and she hadn’t truly known what she lacked emotionally until she and Kristoff had come to know each other.

“The only thing you have to be sorry for is that sailor’s tongue. Who taught you to swear Princess?”

She stared at him, watching him pouring her tea, and was caught between confusion and joy as she realized that he was adding spoonfuls upon spoonfuls of sugar to her tea, and that he was teasing her.

“I… I honestly don’t know… I think I might only know a few curses to be honest.”

“I could teach you more,” he teased.

She was flushing again, and it wasn’t from embarrassment about swearing or her lack of knowledge about curse words. It was from his closeness, the way his dark eyes shifted from the tea to her face, unabashedly staring into her eyes as he passed her the cup, cooled with cream.

Just like I like it.

***

Kristoff couldn’t help but sigh when his eyes wandered across Anna’s sleeping face. A small metal band in his pocket was all but burning his thigh, at least in his imagination.

He’d intended on asking her tonight. He wouldn’t have a chance until the festival, their festival, and he couldn’t help but to want this to just be between them. Everything about their marriage so far had been at least, in part, spectacle. He wanted a moment just for them, away from prying eyes, and he’d lost his nerve and lost his chance after she’d burnt her fingers on the tea she’d brought for them.

It was foolish, he supposed, to be so anxious about asking his wife to marry him again that he lost all courage and spent the night twirling a ring that was meant to be hers through his own fingers.

Doubt crept into his mind in these dark hours of night, watching her sleep and wondering why it was that she hadn’t asked what became of the crystal that marked them soulmates. Perhaps, he thought, she simply didn’t want to pry. The small voice that often brought him doubts, however, hissed in his ear that she didn’t believe in the magic between them. It told him that she didn’t care that they were fated, that she only counted him a friend and that their marriage, sweet and seemingly evolving as it was, was just as it had originally been, for convenience.

He reached the hand not toying with the ring out towards her, brushing a lock of curling red hair away from her cheek. She looked peaceful, and again he could not find it in himself to wake her. She needed her rest, and he needed, desperately, to not think about all the ways in which she and a small trinket of jewelry could crush a heart he hadn’t ministered to in years.

She could break me.

He thought it as he let his knuckles rub against her cheek gently.

What a way to go.

He hoped that she would not mind the kiss he pressed, gentle and slow to her forehead before blowing out the last candle brightening the room.

She made a soft sound in her sleep, something that to his eager ears, sounded almost like his name.

The voice of despair left his ears as the laid at her side, knowing that no matter when he asked her again, to marry her, it was inevitable.

For me, it was always going to be Anna. And it will always be Anna, whether or not she accepts my gift.

#kristanna #frozen fanfiction #A Convenient Arrangement #Arranged Marriage AU #No proofreading we die like people that were supposed to be asleep an hour and a half ago and need to be at work at 9am #Thanks for yelling at me to do the thing friends #You know who you are

[earisridesagain]

Earis Recs 2.1 - Jail for 1000 Years

Theme: Jail for 1000 Years, fic where either Ben Solo/Kylo Ren or Rey are in jail, in prison, or in exile. The four fic in this first installment of the theme are all canonverse fic where Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is in prison or exile for his crimes, either serving out a sentence or awaiting execution.  There are plenty of alternate universe prison fic, which I will rec in later versions of this theme, but I wanted to focus on the canon-verse fic first.

As a general warning, all these fic discuss prison and imprisonment.  Some also discuss execution and the death penalty.  In several, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is in solitary confinement, which is effectively torture, and suffers the well-documented psychological effects.

On Dreamwidth - EarisParticipates - Jail for 1000 Years

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Morning in the Burned House by diasterisms

I consider this a Reylo fic, but it’s primarily a beautiful Leia character study.  Leia Organa has lived through so much, lost so much, sacrificed so much, and now has to deal with her son’s murder of his father.    At the beginning of the fic, both Kylo and Rey are broken, angry, and in pain, albeit showing them in different ways.  Kylo is sentenced to exile with Luke Skywalker, and is only permitted communication with Leia, and by extension, Rey.  In this fic, we never forget that Leia was the daughter of a man who tortured her and took almost everything away from her, and the mother of a man who killed her husband and destroyed almost everything she built.  So, how do these characters move forward?  And what can they look for help?

Status: Complete

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Grief, Angst, references to torture and murder

2. The Way To Tomorrow by the-reylo-void (on tumblr here)

This fic is not a light read.  Which may be why this is possibly one of my favorite fics.  Again, in this fic, Ben Solo/Kylo Ren is sentenced to exile on an uninhabited planet and is forbidden communication with anyone else.  He is given a weapon, a blaster with a single shot.  Of course, Rey neglected to inform the sentencing body about the bond, and she and he are able to communicate.  Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is a very broken character here, resigned to self-hatred and self-destruction.  But Rey refuses to give up on him.

Status: Complete

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Suicide Attempt. Heavy Angst and Grief

3. A Brief Equinox by dustoftheancients

Kylo Ren is imprisoned while he provides information to the Resistance.  He is also injured, a wound he received while protecting Rey. Rey does not remember this.  Rey visits him in prison, at first reluctantly, angrily, and then more willing as she tries to figure out what happened and begins to understand him, at least a little.  But he won’t talk to her.  And the wound won’t heal.

Status: Complete

Rating: Teen and Up

Warning: Discussion of the death penalty, heavy angst

4. Astrometric Binaries by pontmercy44

At first, Kylo is sentenced to death.  But at the last moment, through Rey’s intercession, he is reprieved and sentenced to exile on a harsh, unforgiving planet with little light and little change in the available light from day to night.  Kylo struggles.  Rey is the only one who interacts with him (except for a droid), and at first, he cannot be anything but cruel to her.  However, once again, she keeps him alive. 

Status: Complete

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Dub-con in places (mostly bad communication), contemplation of suicide, self-hatred, discussion of starvation, death penalty, solitary confinement, mental health issues

#reylo #star wars #fanfiction #fandom #earis recs #jail for 1000 years #fanfiction recs #rec list #fic rec #ben solo #kylo ren #rey

[levi-supreme]

Modern!au Levi Ackerman Headcanons

Characters: Levi Ackerman

Genre: Modern!au with tiny references to canonverse if you squint

Warnings: None

A/N: Happy Veterans Day! I'll admit and be biased that I am keeping and saving the best for the last, the one and only Levi! <3 Remember that the ages and birth years of the characters are all MY own assumptions!

Levi is born on 25 December 1987, making him a Capricorn, and born in the year of the fire rabbit.

Capricorns usually come off as being too serious, yet if you manage to break through Levi's tough exterior, he is fully committed, and will show his loyalty and devotion. As a Capricorn, Levi is also very dependable, ambitious, and a great leader. Levi only has a few friends, however, they are his friends for life.

However, Capricorns may seem cold and uncompassionate when you first know them. They are guarded, and will take a long time before they are comfortable to open up to others. Levi is also stubborn and unforgiving to those who have offended him.

As someone born in the year of the fire rabbit, Levi is skillful, patient, and a good leader. He is also responsible, devoted, and gentle. Fire rabbits are both fearless and fearful. They will take on anyone and anything, but may sometimes be afraid of the consequences. Levi is also genuine, faithful, and very feisty at times.

However, Levi is stubborn, bad-tempered, and can be seen as arrogant. He is also reserved, and is reluctant to share what is on his mind. Fire rabbits tend to avoid confrontation, and are not risk takers. They do not like change, and seek a quiet environment.

Levi would wear lots of basic colours such as black, white, and grey. He has different colours of the same shirt because he likes the quality, and decides to buy multiple of the same thing. Levi doesn't necessarily go for anything branded, he goes for comfort and functionality more than style. He never leaves his house without his favourite black jacket.

Levi would enjoy his solitude, he enjoys doing things by himself. Yet, Levi isn't alone. He would still meet up with his friends as and when they want. He enjoys reading at night, where it is quiet. With a cup of tea on his desk, the sound of crickets accompany him through the night.

Levi would own a sports car, a continental; a black car to be exact. It is easy to maintain, and its design is sleek. He would either own a BMW, Mercedes-Benz, or an Audi. He loves bringing his car on night drives. Winding down the windows and the sunroof, he loves the feeling of the wind in his hair. Levi has a bad habit of driving only with one hand, while the other is leaning on the side.

Levi would prefer the slightly cooler weather, somewhere in between cloudy skies and rainy days. The type where the breeze is cooling, and where the sunlight is obscured by the clouds. He dislikes the prickling feeling of the heat on his skin. Yet, he also loves sunny days as it is perfect for doing laundry.

Tagging: @axoxtxhxh @ack3rlady @hashaneeee

AOT Veterans Day Masterlist

#levi #levi ackerman #snk levi #aot levi #levi headcanons #levi ackerman headcanons #snk headcanons #aot headcanons #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #aot veterans day 2021 #aot veterans day event #levi.supreme

[ackerfics]

congrats on 600!! and, Clove with eren🤧

wrestle me free from the war — eren jaeger

— eren jaeger x female reader (canonverse)

— prompt: clove; i have loved you and you have not known it.

— warnings: angst (you asked for it and i shall deliver), typical canon violence, mentions of blood, kids being little shits, spoilers to those who haven't watched season 4

— summary: love came in the form of you—eren was just unaware of how deeply you become rooted in his heart because of your first encounter with him, a sacred meeting set by many timelines and lifetimes.

— word count: 11.6k (i don't regret it bc words just fly through the keyboard jndjww)

— notes: awww, thank you for requesting and for those words, anon uwu just to let you guys know, i cried while writing this. that's enough for you to know how this pained me hhhhhh btw, i took inspiration from fluerie's hurts like hell and miia's dynasty while writing, i keep repeating those songs bc they hurt so much and i love the atmosphere it created in my room. ooh, and there will be references of the song of achilles here owo happy reading, everyone !! (to those who wanted soft eren, have this treat <3)

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated !! <3

this is part of my 600 milestone event !!

Love came in the form of a five-year-old holding a plate of decadent biscuits in front of the Jaegers’ open doorway.

“Good morning!” Almost like a sprite from one of those expensive fairy tales from the bookstore up ahead, the brightest chime illuminated the wood interior of the Jaeger household. It was a mystery, all in itself, to have someone this cheery early in the morning. “Hello, Mrs. Jaeger. Is Doctor Jaeger around?” His father? What would this pixie want with his father? Eren tried making a sneak peek at the person in front of their door but his mother blocked the view, only for the boy of five to huff a troubled frown. “Oh.” The tone of the person’s (more like a kid his age) voice quietened in disappointment. “Well, this gift extends to you, too, Mrs. Jaeger. This is a ‘thank you’ gift to Doctor Jaeger for curing Mother of her sickness. I hope you enjoy them!”

“Aw, how sweet.” This caught Eren’s attention. His mother never cooed at anyone, except for him obviously. So, he craned his entire body to get a glimpse of the figure at their door. The reason why he never stood up from his seat at the dining table to greet the sprite was that he didn’t want them to have the impression that he was excited to meet someone new. Eren was a boy of very few friends (read: none at all) and he was contented with the people he acknowledged as his inner circle (mainly his family). His stream of thoughts was interrupted when his mother chuckled. “I’m sure we’ll enjoy this, little [Name].” Ah, a name. It sounds pretty to Eren’s ears. That fact prompted him to lean even further on the dining table—just to give him the satisfaction that he saw a sprite from the woods in the outskirts of Wall Maria. “Ooh, they look so adorable, too! Did you make this yourself, darling?”

“Yes, I did, Mrs. Jaeger. I made some animal-shaped ones because Mother told me you have a kid my age. I want the biscuits to be as cute as possible for them as well!”

“Just your luck because he’s here right now. Eren! Someone’s here to meet you.”

Spring blew in every direction the moment his mother shifted her body to show the fairy in the doorway. Just like the mythological creature plaguing Eren’s mind, the daintiest little girl stood on the other side of the door. An air of serenity came from her, even if she’s beaming a radiant grin when his teal irises met hers. (Eren had to narrow his eyes at the brightness of her countenance.) Eren never saw her while he was playing around the neighborhood but he always heard the story of the pretty girl in their part of town—of the sheltered daughter of Shiganshina’s artiste that was a subject of most of her paintings. The dripping sand that ticked away the seconds came to an abrupt stop, the stagnant flow of time surrounding the little boy of brown hair as he became curious at the girl who reminded him of something. Silver light spilled from the girl’s countenance, shrouding Eren in a cool pool of a midnight blue lake filled with endless specks of stars. He came to know that he sometimes saw glimpses of her from an opened window a few houses down the street, a phantom of a given light that flickered like a tiny wisp. It was only this time that he saw her in her full glory.

“Hello, Eren! My name is [Name], it’s so nice to meet you!” Even your waves looked like someone a mystical creature could do.

Eren pursed his lips, looking away from you with a faint tint of blush covering the apples of his cheeks. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“Let’s play tomorrow, okay?”

The boy glanced at his mother, who was sporting an endeared expression. Guess there was no other choice. “Of course, what do you want to play?” By now, he was slowly standing up to make his way to the opened doorway, eyes still trained on the wood paneling of their house’s floor. Eren stood in front of the girl named [Name] yet he never met her gaze again for fear of getting sucked in an illusion of a moonlit spring night, with the breeze carrying the scent of blossoms. “I have a few toys in my room that we can play with.”

“That sounds perfect, Eren! I’ll bring my dolls over, too. They were tailored by Mother so I’m excited to show them to you. Their dresses are all so beautiful and I hope you like them!”

Eren never played with anything close to dolls but he was willing to try. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Your smile was the only reply.

Love came in the form of you—Eren was just unaware of how deeply you become rooted in his heart because of that encounter, a sacred meeting set by many timelines and lifetimes.

“You’re so reckless, you know that, right?”

Eren doesn’t know how such a pretty yet fragile being could exist in his life.

Your fingers fretted over his bruised face, touch akin to the snowflakes dripping from the timberwolf gray sky during winter. A lock of your hair fell from the makeshift wildflower hairclip that Mikasa gave you a month before, prompting you to blow it away from your face before Eren can reach out to tuck it behind your ear. Your beautiful eyes were narrowed in a little glare that didn’t scare him in the slightest as you dabbed his skin with a damp cloth. For some reason, your anger never toppled Eren from his pedestal, even finding it endearing sometimes. However, what he did earlier was something he was slightly ashamed of. There’s no reason for him to create a commotion in the marketplace. But when the subject of some kids’ conversation involved you—Eren’s mind instantly went blank. Especially if the remarks included how you look like an untouched maiden despite you being ten years old. Eren didn’t hesitate running headfirst into the teenagers speaking ill of you—Mikasa in tow and Armin screaming that it’s not worth it, guys, [Name] won’t like this!

The moment the fight was discovered by the Garrison soldiers stationed in Shiganshina’s walls, all of them dispersed in various directions. He doesn’t even remember why he found himself in front of your house, his two friends nowhere in sight. Maybe he ran as if he’s seeking his lifeline—which is the person who opened the door, hands gripping the doorknob and eyes widening at his battered state. You instantly ushered him inside, pressing your hands on his shoulders to let him settle in the living room. As you rummaged for a clean towel to clean his wounds, Eren was mulling over as to why he chose you to be the one tending his injuries. His mother was always the one who did it. So, why did he automatically think of you while running from the Garrison? His questions became unanswered—the only clues he had were the fast pace of his heart and the slight heat in his cheeks when you finally entered the same room as him, scowl fixed on your face.

Now, he could only stay silent as he gazed at your adorable visage with an unyielding stare.

Eren scoffed, arms crossed on his chest and eyes scouring the pictures displayed on the walls opposite him. “I’m not being reckless.”

There’s a picture of you with your mother, a smile reaching your eyes in crinkles. Then, a portrait of you stood beside it, displayed on a wooden easel. The colors were a vivid blend of oranges, pinks, and reds, with your giggling face as the subject. It was one of the most beautiful paintings Eren saw in his life, mostly because you were depicted as a little sprite from the woodlands—flowers decorating your hair and life sprouting from your fingertips at each twinkling laugh. You never smiled like that these days. His iridescent green irises searched for you, comparing the frown on your face at the moment to the beauteous grin you donned in the picture and the painting. Right when he opens his mouth to remark how you should smile more often, you stood up from your seat with your hands patting your lap.

“Not reckless?” you asked him, mimicking his position. This time, you got the upper hand for standing tall on your feet. “Eren,” you said his name with an exasperated sigh, “fights aren’t the only solution to an argument. I don’t know the full story but it seems like you got yourself into something pointless this time. Was Armin getting picked on again?” At the purse of his lips, you knew the answer. “See? What’s the reason?” Thinking that probably you’re going off too strong and haughty, you released the tension on your shoulders and softened your glare. “I’m sorry for being angry but you can always tell me, ‘Ren.”

The nickname made his heart jump. He looked away from you with faintly reddened cheeks yet his face was scrunched in distaste. “They were talking about you.”

This wasn’t what you expected. You blinked before tilting your head in confusion. “Me?” Eren remained silent so you take the chance to continue your inquiries. “Why would you go into a fight for something that simple? I can take what they say—I don’t put them to heart, Eren.”

Eren clenched his fists. “Because,” he gritted out, “they were speaking something insulting about you!” There were flecks of gold inside lining his iris, blazing with the fervent determination to keep others from sullying your name. You’re supposed to be one of the kindest people he knew and teenagers have no right to talk about you like you’re a prospective bride ready to bear children. It disgusted him—the teenage boys’ words. And as Eren looked at you with those eyes that seem to glow like the morning star, he hoped you understand where he’s coming from. “I don’t want them to speak things like that about you! You shouldn’t be labeled things that can hinder you from doing more. Why are you just letting them run you over like that?”

“I get your point, Eren,” you murmured. “But why did you use violence? Mikasa could’ve easily told them off.”

“Because,” the boy of emeralds trailed off, never knowing the answer.

Maybe it had something to do with how you smiled as Armin relayed what he read, with you exclaiming that you want to venture with the blond to see the sights beyond the walls. Or it could be because it has become your goal—to walk along the tranquil sea-green waters that span a thousandfold with only the horizon further ahead. For Eren, you are more than just a potential bride for the young men loitering around Shiganshina. You carry an entire map of stars inside your heart, your brilliant irises showing each constellation so vividly to him that he can’t help but prove to everyone that you shouldn’t be shackled in the future. You carved something in the purest of diamonds—a dream that’s etched upon the seasons, bursting through the seams like an unstoppable force. And he admires you because of that. You created this tune inside of him that awakened a foreign feeling that he never felt with anyone. Eren has no idea why you make him feel this way, why he wants to—

“… Protect you.”

Your breath hitched at the intensity of Eren’s stare. The entire world silenced as you saw your reflection in his eyes, coloring you in the most beautiful shade of green. “What?” You didn’t quite catch what he said except for those two words that might have impacted you more than you realized. You were still a kid that time—having not known the feeling of someone caring for you other than your mother.

“I want to protect you, that’s why,” Eren announced. “I’m using my strength for that.”

“I can stand up for myself, you know.”

“I still won’t stop.” He paused. “… Mainly because Mikasa will protect you if I do it half-assed. I only want myself to that to you—not anyone else.”

There was no use fighting Eren. Once his mind is set on something, there was no doubt that he’ll push through what he thinks is right. In your eyes, there was a cape encasing him, with the weight of the world on his shoulders. There was no situation calling for him to become a hero but with how brazen he is, he was bound for something greater than anybody inside the Walls. You let him be, letting him have the chance to hover around you, which you instantly regretted because he was everywhere. It was comical at first but now, it was starting to irk you.

Every time you were only buying vegetables in the marketplace, a chill ran down your spine. You were certain someone was peeking through the entrance of the alleyway, three pairs of different colored eyes training on you. That didn’t stop there. It seemed as though whenever you were struggling with anything while going home, Eren materialized in front of you. His eyes weren’t on you but the surroundings; as if the windows of the houses in your neighborhood morphed into the boys constantly shouting confessions at you. You wanted it to stop and you had no idea how to carefully tell Eren it was giving you nightmares (mainly his blank green eyes that swam inside your soul, peeking through the alleyway).

However, you didn’t expect the absence to last two years.

There were so many things Eren hated in their caged world.

Lousy soldiers who have no will to fight, choosing to wallow in endless mugs of beer rather than to stay vigilant in guarding the walls. Bullies who were always picking on the weakest people just to prove to others that they’re one step ahead of everyone. Remarks that undermine his determination in fulfilling his dream of stepping out in the world—bringing humanity closer to freedom. People who are content with staying inside the glass-like protection of the walls. After the catastrophic fall of Wall Maria, Eren’s most recent object of rage was once believed to never enter the walls perfectly crafted by the gods. Who knew that the century-old holy grail separating humanity from their demise could break like that under the camaraderie of two Titans that no one had a clue of?

Just like that, life inside the walls was reduced because of those humanoid creatures which deserved to rot in the deepest circles of Hell. As the next two years trickled down the hourglass, Eren carried the carnage brought by the terror that is Shiganshina’s pandemonium and let it fester inside his chest—spreading throughout the crevices of his body until there was nothing but an inferno controlling his actions. It was the least he could do after arguing with his mother on that fateful day, after leaving her behind to be eaten by that ghastly smiling beast. It was the closest form of punishment he bestowed on himself for being a reckless idiot who wore heartfelt emotions pretty close to his sleeves. Letting himself be drizzled by the remains of his mother was one of his many regrets. The next one he had on his list took the form of a gentle demeanor under the guise of a half-hearted glare—of a thousand fluttering butterflies in a meadow of wildflowers, all fueled by the presence of the one person Eren blatantly vowed to protect. A piercing blade stabbed his heart at his mistake of doing the exact opposite.

You were gone when Shiganshina fell. Gone in a sense that Eren couldn’t find you anymore. The last time he saw you was when you offered him and Mikasa snacks to accompany them in their task of gathering firewood. You said your mother called for you to help her with her newest masterpiece, a request from one of the nobles in the Inner Walls. There was a foreboding thought in Eren’s mind to tell you to be careful but what was there to be careful about when all you had to do was walk back to your house? After the rain of blood and the onslaught of screams around his home, Eren had no time to search for you. Still, in shock of seeing his mother eaten alive by a Titan, he, alongside Mikasa and Armin, continued to live for a year as tillers of farmland to compensate for the lack of resources in Wall Rose now that the survivors were pushed back to their territory.

Then, the first dream of you came.

At least from the looks of it, he assumed it was you.

There was a girl who shared the same features as you, only older in this new nightmare of his. Her beauty was that of the silver rays of moonlight, which was why he figured it was you because the whole time Eren had been with you for five years—you were a dormant daughter of the moon for him. It was always the same thing—his dream that recurred for an entire year.

It started with this girl hugging him, his collarbones catching the star-like tears hitting his skin. He felt how warm she felt—how he wanted to bury himself into her until there was only his name etched on the chambers of her chest. The scent of wildflowers clung onto her, ensnaring him in a trance as he nuzzled his face onto her hair. Oh, her hair was longer from what he remembered but they still felt like yours—soft as the petals of the wildflower hairclip Mikasa gave you. Then, they were a series of painting-like scenarios flashing by his head—the girl laughing in front of a bonfire, the girl being lifted by him to plant a gentle hand on his blazing skin, the girl pleading for him to stay with her and his found family. All of them made his heart clench painfully, which wasn’t what he expected because all of these featured him as well. The reels shifted into an image of a burning city, the girl a young woman now. She was staring into him with disappointment swirling in her eyes, her irises reflecting the tangerine of the flames down below. Eren felt bile rise inside his throat, shame causing the butterflies to shrivel their wings until they become caterpillars again. All he remembered was the sensation of her intense glare as she mouthed words that shook his entire being, slapping the hand that was enclosed around her wrist.

What happened next in the dream always woke him up in cold sweat.

It was the young woman lying on a lake of her own blood. The most perfect shade of red adorned her body, her once vibrant eyes staring glassily on the ceiling.

Eren refused to believe that was you. So, every chance he got, he asked around the Garrison soldiers keeping watch over them for your name, in hopes that maybe you boarded the last ship without them knowing. Mikasa accompanied him while Armin waited for their return in their little home inside the barn. The two of them described you in detail but none of the Garrison knew about you or saw you amongst the survivors. There was nothing they could do but accept that maybe you passed away alongside most of the population of Wall Maria. There was no word exchanged as the three of them mulled over that speculation, the hoots of the night fauna filling in the gaps of the silence dedicated to the possibility of you as a rotting corpse somewhere around Maria’s territory.

“Do you think this is any place for a princess like you?!” Shadis basically spat the word. “What’s your name, you piece of shit?”

“[Name] [Last Name], Sir!”

The syllables jolted him into the rapids of reality.

There you were. So fucking beautiful with your tiny fist placed on top of your chest, eyes blazing with pretend determination that convinced the Commandant. A vibrant teal lake attempted to capture you, hoping that you’d drown in its waters after compelling you to glance at him with songs crafted by sirens. Just a few feet away from him, both Mikasa and Armin stared with slacked jaws at you. You were taller, having grown a few inches since you were ten years old. But, a single thought resonated through the trio’s head—the traces of beauty and serenity you carried from back in the days pulsated, even more, catching the attention of some of the members of the Training Corps. You were a flower in this field and all Eren could do was admire you from afar.

“Mikasa? Armin?” A tentative voice called out to the aforementioned people.

A tender whisper of your name came out of the black-haired girl’s lips, eyes watery as her eyes trailed over your figure that afternoon after an entire morning of basking under the heat of the sun. Mikasa placed a hand on her mouth to prevent her silent sobs before running over to you and enveloping you in the tightest hug she ever gave someone. Your laughs were like music to her ears while wrapping your arms around her torso. You felt her face pressing against the tresses of your hair, looking over at her shoulder to beckon the blond closer to join the hug. Soon enough, the three of you smiled through rivers of tears cascading through your cheeks—the little family finally reunited after two years of thinking you were buried under the earth. People were staring at the three of you as if all of you were a spectacle ready to be criticized, but you all hardly care.

You pulled away to look at two of your best friends in the eyes. “I can’t believe I’m seeing the two of you right now! I only caught Armin’s name earlier so I hoped that maybe everything is real—that you three are here.”

Mikasa stared at the accessory clipping your hair away from your face. “The flower is gone.”

You chuckled, your fingers brushing over the sentimental treasure Mikasa gave you. “The flower wilted, Mika, I’m so sorry for ruining it.”

She only shook her head with a slight smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll pick up another one to put it there.”

“It’s so good to see you, [Name].” Oh, Armin—ever the soft-spoken boy who always shouted words of reason whenever one of you did something reckless. You terribly miss him so, your nostalgia showing in the image of your smile. The smile you gave him was returned and it was the exact thing in your memories. “We thought you were … gone.” His face shifted until his gaze was on the floor, blue eyes clouding over as if a storm was brewing inside his brilliant mind. “You disappeared after the Fall so we assumed that you were nowhere to be found since the Garrison never had your name in their record of survivors.” Mikasa solemnly nodded beside him.”

“I’m sorry,” you quietly told them, hands fidgeting with the fabric of your button-down shirt. “A kind woman took me in after Mother told me to run. She was just visiting Shiganshina that day so she gave me a temporary home in Trost, her hometown. When I told her I wanted to go into the Training Corps to fulfill something, she let me.”

“Well, we’re glad that you’re now here with us.”

A wistful smile pulled on your lips. “Me, too.”

“Someone’s ecstatic to meet you again, though,” Armin laughed, nudging you lightly with his elbow.

When your eyes flickered around the Mess Hall for any sign of the brown-haired boy, Mikasa knowingly smiled. “He’s outside looking for you.”

“Thank you, Mikasa, Armin,” you breathed, walking backward to give them a promise. “We’ll catch up later!” They waved at you with the same enthusiasm until the paint of the golden hour touched your skin. The girl who was punished to some run laps was still circling the field, gaining some of the trainees’ attention in the porch of the Mess Hall. You surveyed the area for him but his shaggy brown hair wasn’t among the heads of the onlookers taking pity on the girl named Sasha Braus. You made your way to the field, hoping that a cloud took you high enough to search for the boy who swore as your knight. “Eren, where are you?” you muttered under your breath, hands wringing the sleeves of your shirt in a nervous tick. You don’t even know how to act around the boy you saw as everyone’s hero. The small patch of grass on the dirt became interesting to you as you tried steeling yourself for your reunion with your childhood friend. “Why am I getting nervous? It’s not like he’ll see me differently or his personality changed.”

“[Name]?”

Eren was once again searching for you after the introductions because you simply vanished like the mystical being that you are. There was no way that you would immediately go to the Mess Hall. (You did.) Eren knew you like you were shining in his memories—you would find someplace cool after surrounding yourself with that many people, letting nature do its job of soothing you to the point of napping. (You did find someplace cool, and that is the Mess Hall because they were about to serve lunch at that point—you were hungry.) It was safe to say that the moment Eren entered the Mess Hall to get his fill of lunch, was when you were taking your well-deserved nap near the lake. Your paths never crossed the entire afternoon. But at this moment, maybe Fate wove a tapestry featuring his reunion with his anchor.

“Eren,” came your soft call.

“… You look different.” He inwardly cringed at the awkwardness. He tried clearing his throat to dispel any signs of it.

“And you still look the same, ‘Ren,” you chimed, fingers fidgeting with each other yet your head was angled to meet his gaze. “Still the reckless boy who wanted to protect me all those years. It’s great seeing you again.”

A foreign tugging on Eren’s heartstrings echoed throughout his chest, his heart clenching until he placed a palm on his pounding skin. There was a sense of nostalgia surrounding the ministrations occurring inside his ribcage, having missed the sensation of you causing the tremors of a rapid heartbeat. Ever since he was five years old, waiting for his mother to finally move out of the doorway to see you; he was already under the effects of the intense emotions blanketing his being whenever you’re in the painting. It couldn’t be helped that he was curious of the unknown feeling, having asked his mother to identify the supposed sickness he had around you. Carla only smiled in that all-knowing countenance of hers, always one step ahead of Eren’s thinking. She patted his head and told him that all in due time, he’ll figure it out on his own; but for now, he should just enjoy the throes of innocence. But he still didn’t reach the age of wisdom’s peak to fully comprehend other emotions not associated with philia and storge. Twelve years old was still a child in people’s eyes—a child thrown into a grapple for humanity’s survival. The palm on his chest pressed even further, the walls of his heart pushing onto his hand, his gaze thoughtful as his gaze never lifted from the butterfly hovering over the patch of grass in the field.

Shaking his head, he brushed off any moment of being lost in your presence before he regarded you with cool teal eyes, a shy smile making its way on his lips. “I could say the same thing to you.”

Everything feels like home now that you’re here.

“Why is she giving that prissy bastard the time of the day?” Eren grumbled, glare never leaving the pair he was cursing in his head.

Armin halted from looking around the bustling district of Trost, his small smile being replaced with a confused frown. “What are you talking about, Eren?” Even Mikasa who was walking a few ways behind them hastened her pace to listen in on the conversation. However, Eren didn’t answer the question and instead continued glowering at the trainees in front of them. Still with confusion, Armin followed his friend’s gaze and was met with Jean talking to you, the latter’s face looking as if he wanted to escape the situation. That wasn’t an unusual occurrence for Armin and Mikasa, who gave the blond a wary glance, both of them concerned that the third of their little trio might lash out in the streets of Trost. “Eren, you don’t have to be cross at them talking to each other. [Name]’s foster mother is friends with Jean’s mom so they’re bound to exchange some pleasantries while living here in Trost.”

Eren’s face curled in disgust at the prospect of you interacting with Jean during your stay in Wall Rose for two years. He watched as you appeared to be scolding Jean for something along the lines of visiting his mother since they’re in his hometown while the taller boy only brushed away your nagging with blatant annoyance. No one expected you to have a connection with someone who showed the same hot-headedness as Eren but when the ash-brown-haired boy called for you to be his partner in hand-to-hand combat training last year, Eren was left in a standstill. He was livid to this day. Of all people, why could it be that long-faced bastard always running his mouth in front of Eren? He didn’t notice that he had become quiet in the current conversation until Mikasa leaned her head forward with sharp eyes.

“Eren,” Mikasa called out. “Are you perhaps … jealous?”

“Huh—jealous?! W-What—Where did you get that idea from?!” Eren sputtered, spine stiffening at the abrupt exposure to the spotlight. “I’m not! Why would I be jealous in the first place?!” His ears were red.

Mikasa didn’t believe him, staying silent until something caught her eye at one of the stalls lining up the street. Without a word, she walked faster to pull you away from Jean without any warning and brought you to a stall filled with flowers. The two of you were excitedly picking the blossoms displayed in the small cart while the trail of trainees continued to the path of the headquarters. The black-haired girl was holding a small stem of blue flowers to your hairclip before telling the florist she’ll be taking a small bouquet of what she chose. Two pairs of eyes watched you two as Mikasa carefully pinned the flowers through your hairclip, recreating the accessory she customized back in the day.

Eren huffed in slight envy that Mikasa could easily latch onto you at any time of the day. He rolled his eyes at the scene of you tucking a daisy behind Mikasa’s ear. “They’ll wilt eventually, you know. What’s so special about a bunch of flowers anyway?” He opted on staring down the children playing hopscotch down the road. “Their beauty only lasts a couple of days,” then, Eren’s voice lowered in a murmur so that Armin wouldn’t hear it, “why is she so happy with that?” He glanced at you discreetly, allowing himself to loosen up the tenseness clumping his shoulders at the sight of your breathtaking smile. Though it wasn’t directed at him, it’s still heavenly either way. Please look at me. Let me know that you think of me as well. As if she heard the song his heart created to make you acknowledge him, you turned your head mid-laugh and found emeralds reflecting your figure. Eren’s heart raced when your lips lifted in the softest smile, eyes crinkled with an emotion that he was sure only lovers wear for the precious holders of their hearts.

Once again, Eren’s chest clenched in that intimate aching tied to his soul and you were the reason behind it.

The sunset painting the lands of the Walls a beautiful shade of gold landed its pigments on two figures, creating silhouettes that were always mistaken as lovers wherever the stars told them to. The world is only their stage, them being the ones fulfilling the protagonists in this melodrama called Hell.

The Survey Corps Headquarters were far behind you and Eren. Right after dinner, he pulled you out of the Mess Hall with a set destination in his mind. His steps were purposeful, echoing across the stone walls of the castle until his boots hit the dirt of the training field. He kept his voice to himself, face forward, letting you wallow in a state of confusion behind him. Even if his face showed distress through the furrowed eyebrows and tight jaw, his grip around your hand felt like an embrace. He faintly heard you ask where he’s taking you but he simply kept quiet about it. It was a grueling day for him—with all the experiments Hange poured onto his shoulders and the constant jabs of Levi and his squad whenever he malfunctioned in the secluded plain where he’s doing all the work. He needed an escape, what better way to enjoy that with you by his side? While grumbling to himself about dusting another room one afternoon before you and the other cadets appeared in the Headquarters, Eren stumbled upon a meadow filled with wildflowers, like the one the four of them always played in—all that was missing was the tree.

Upon reaching the meadow, Eren heard your questions dying down. He turned around to find you being entranced by the meadow. He couldn’t help but feel proud of himself for showing the view to you. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go.” He pulled you in the middle of a huge lake of wildflowers and lie down on the soft mattress of blossoms, a satisfied sigh escaping his grinning lips. Eren looked up at you from his comfortable position. “Hey, don’t just stand there, join me.”

You playfully rolled your eyes. “Okay, okay. Don’t mind if I do.” You stared at the darkening sky, the night making her way to settle a temporary peace over the lands; her daughter, the moon, was slowly becoming brighter as her twinkling sisters accompanied her in lighting up their closed world. Eren slowly turned his head to stare at you instead. Whenever the moon hits you with her beautiful moon rays, you always looked even more ethereal—illuminating under the light of the silver luminary. He observed how you closed your eyes, letting the gentle night breeze wash over your figure. The small curve of your lips, the eyelashes protecting your irises, the creaseless serene expression stitched upon your face—all of you continued to shine like gems in Eren’s eyes. “It’s nights like these that make me think,” when you started to speak, Eren’s cheeks colored a shade of rose, though he didn’t look away from you, “maybe everything’s alright in the world. Just you and me enjoying peace in innocence—I want to stay like this forever.”

“Me, too,” Eren confessed, not having control over his mouth. It seemed like his thoughts were always spilled when you’re around. “I want this night to be eternal and never-ending—just the two of us under the moonlight.” You hum in tranquility, inhaling the scent of the flowers brushing over your skin. Something churned inside Eren’s stomach, traveling to his mind telling him to be close to you. He scooted a little to close the gap, his breath hitting the side of your face. Without thinking about it, he reached out and tenderly ran his fingers on your cheek. Green irises met yours and the stars sighed in a chorus of innocent pleasure. “Promise me to be alive in the 57th expedition tomorrow. I’m not there to keep an eye on you but I want you to know that I … care for you so much to have you die on me.” Something is weighing in his mind before he shook his head. “… I have something to tell you once we reach the ocean.”

A promise.

You shifted your body until you’re face-to-face with the little soldier boy who always looked at you differently from the others. A pretty smile of understanding was directed at that soldier boy you hold dear in your heart. Your hand wrapped around his wrist to convey that he had nothing to worry about. “You know that I will always listen to whatever you have to tell me, ‘Ren. And I promise I’ll stay alive in the expedition tomorrow. I didn’t graduate a place above you for no reason.”

Eren scoffed. “I was just letting you ahead of me for once, there’s nothing special about that.”

Your eyes gained that admiration you always felt for him, your heart swelling with a sense of protectiveness for the boy even though he already assumed the role of the protector in your childhood. You started to hum when night became too quiet. The little tune coming out in a lingering sillage that smelled like home. Eren recognized the song and let himself close his eyes when your voice lulled him for a moment. It was the song you always sang whenever he sleeps over your house, dedicating to his then dream of joining the Scouts without his parents knowing. He felt your fingers caress the skin of his wrist, holding it in place below your ear since his entire body relaxed in equanimity.

“Leaves from the vines, changing so slow. Like empty, fallen souls, looking for a home.

“Little soldier boy, thought he could soar. Brave soldier boy, fallen in the war.

“My little soldier boy, I need you home. Brave soldier boy, come marching home.”

The song was carried by the wind and by how peaceful Eren looked, you might have assumed he had fallen asleep after hearing the song. But you see the normal rise and fall of his chest, him being asleep flying out of your mind. You rested the hand between yours on the side of your neck, the warmth of your skin becoming a river towards the boy’s heart. You breathed out, in hopes that he was awake to answer your request for the night, “Tell me a secret, Eren.” It was a plea if ever you didn’t survive the expedition tomorrow. Who knows what might happen to your first fight for humanity’s freedom outside the walls? The fear crept to your heart and you hoped for the one person to quell it in obedience. If you got yourself inside a Titan’s stomach, you would still find yourself swallowed by pride since you have a piece of Eren within you—one of his secrets.

You’re the most precious person I ever hold dear at the moment and I might burn the entire world if you slip through my fingers without knowing how deeply I feel for you. “What kind of secret?” Eren whispered so as not to disrupt the calming spell you cast on the meadow, despite the inner turmoil pulsing his temples. Oh, how he wanted to tell you how the tiny wisps you created in his heart turned into a million stars spreading across his chest.

“Anything.”

“Hmm.”

When Eren is deep in thought, you had the urge to tease him. “Be careful, you might hurt yourself from thinking too much.”

“Hey!” You only laughed at him, making him stare at the joy plastered on your face that he could see nothing else but you. “I’m going to be the first hero who’s going to have a happy ending.”

“I think all heroes are happy, Eren.”

That look of blazing flames took over his face, the hand carefully brushing his fingers on your skin cupped your cheek. His face seemed to be much closer to yours now but all you could do was stare because he was so captivating—like he could eat the world raw in front of your eyes. He was definitely destined for greatness and what better thing for greatness than glory? But it looked like Eren didn’t agree with you on that. “No, they’re not. Their life always ended in tragedies from the stories Armin’s books tell and I know I’m no different from them.” He pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes rooting you into the ground. “But I’m going to change that—I know Fate will be on my side for me to achieve that. Not just Fate, but you, too. You’re my reason and my moon.” He paused, gauging your reaction at the anxious thought of him revealing too much of his hidden feelings. All he could see was the same look you always throw at him. “I’m willing to be the world’s first happy hero for your sake!”

His usual enthusiasm endeared you. “I’m looking forward to it, ‘Ren. Make the world beautiful, not just for me, but for everyone else as well. I believe in you, my soldier.”

Eren will forever carry those words in death—until the end of the world.

The fight against the Titans was finally over and the ocean became the most anticipated reward for the survivors of the Battle of Shiganshina.

Its crystalline waters were so clear that it instantly took everyone’s breath away. It was way bigger than the lake they frequented back in the Training Corps. It was bigger than any body of water they encountered inside the walls. The blue was so bright that it captivated everyone more than the sky they always adored while being trapped in their crafted, fraud protection. The smell of salt was so strong that it invigorated all of you to jump down from your horses to get the feeling of wading your feet on the shore. It was the most beautiful thing you ever saw yet Eren’s half-lidded gaze never wavered from the childlike wonder you were sporting with everyone else. After he kissed Historia’s hand, he became more observant than normal, which baffled Jean and Connie. They were thinking that probably this was a change that they wouldn’t get used to. But now, no matter how enamored all of you were by the ocean, Eren was reclusive in his own world, looking away from you to point his stare at the horizon. He was more thoughtful than giddy compared to you. He realized he was the only younger soldier left standing on the shore until you called out his name.

“Eren!” Your smile was much more enrapturing than the ocean since he already saw the latter in his father’s memories. It was as if time slowed down when you turned around to beckon him to you, Armin, and Mikasa; face like the painting your mother hung upon the wall of your childhood home. You finally smiled like before and Eren’s eyes slightly widened, gaining some of the brightness they held that seemed to dull after the awarding ceremony. “We’re all waiting for you!”

He couldn’t fight against you.

As you and Mikasa laughed silently at the latter girl’s small slip in the shallow waters, Armin turned to Eren, whose body was facing something specific beyond the sea. “Look!” He was holding a handful of seawater, a conch shell sitting in the middle of his palms—shining like the crystals you found under the Reiss Chapel. “I told you, Eren! A salt lake so big that merchants could spend their whole lives collecting and still not get all the salt it holds. The things I talked about before weren’t wrong after all!”

Sensing the tone of delight from your blonde friend, you stopped splashing Mikasa and straightened yourself to look at the two boys. Your gaze drifted towards Eren, your stomach churning with someone so foreign when it comes to the boy. The black-haired girl also stopped scooping some seawater to throw at you, seeing how you were in a trance because of someone, before following your gaze. Armin was so ecstatic that he didn’t notice Eren’s melancholic demeanor until the taller boy opened his mouth.

“Yeah, it’s so damn big,” Eren dragged out.

Armin stepped forward with tears in his eyes. “Look, Eren, on the other side of the walls, there’s—”

“There’s a sea.” You shared a glance with Mikasa at the interruption but Eren continued, “On the other side of the sea is … freedom. That’s what I always believed. But I was wrong.” Now, you were concerned, taking steps across the shallow end of the sea to place your hand on Eren’s shoulder but his next words stopped you in your tracks. “But on the other side of the sea are enemies. Every part of this is exactly how I saw in my father’s memories.” He turned around, traveling his gaze from Armin and Mikasa before stopping at you. He saw your breath hitching at the sheen of pain in his eyes the more he looked at you. It was as if he was already apologizing for not giving you the beautiful world you wanted for everyone. In his mind, he was but you didn’t need to know that. He went back to staring at the horizon, pointing a finger towards it. “Hey, if kill all of our enemies over there … will we finally be free?”

It stunned you—how dejected he was. With tentative footsteps, you reached him, head tilted slightly to the side to fully see his face. “Eren,” you softly called for him to back. “Look at me.” Only when you placed a hand on his arm did he meet your gaze. “Welcome back, soldier boy.” Teal glowed with the reflection of the ocean’s waters at the nickname, your chest swelling with overflowing emotions at the life brought back to his eyes. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Eren faced you with faint anticipation, nodding for you to relay the secret.

You looked down at the small lapping waves by your ankles. “I’m afraid.” You missed how Eren’s face slightly become alarmed. “I know there are no threats of Titans lurking today but I’m scared of what might happen to you after the momentary peace ebbs away. I never said this to you but,” you lifted your head, only for your heart to beat faster and for your cheeks to become warmer at the astounded look Eren had on his face, “you’re so important to me. Ever since you accepted those biscuits I made when we were five, you are constantly shining in my memories. I don’t want you to lose that light, Eren.” You noticed that he took a step closer to soak in your warmth. “For now, let’s not worry about what the future might hold—let’s focus on the treasure we found today. Are you okay with that, Eren?”

You make him sound like someone should consider him as a fragile thing when he was anything but that. Dispelling a deep exhale, Eren figured that if it was you talking to him in that soft demeanor, better you than anyone else. Now, a small smile tugged on the corners of his lips, thanking you for pulling him out of the abysmal torment he seemed to be drowning in these days. He ducked down a little, relishing in the way your cheeks bloomed the prettiest red flowers. His hand scooped a handful of seawater and splashed it on your face. It was the last thing you expected from the brown-haired boy. Your squeal received a booming laugh from the handsome boy, his arms clutching his stomach at your adorable reaction. A few feet away from you two, Mikasa and Armin shared a relieved sigh before looking at each other with knowing smiles. If there was someone worthy enough to anchor Eren to reality, it was you.

“Eren!” you yelled, your soft half-lidded eyes from earlier morphing into a glare at the chortling boy. However, it died down when you stared at him for more than a few seconds. His hair was longer now, touching the base of his nape; and he was also taller by three inches in a year. His laughs died down to giggles as he covered his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes shining in mirth.

“Am I that handsome to make you space out like that?”

You recoiled with burning cheeks, taking a handful of seawater to splash him in the face, his laughs following soon after. “No, you idiot! How big can your head get?! You should stop saying those things, who knows what the others are thinking?” Your rambling only seemed to make the heat on your cheeks spread to your ears. “When have I ever thought that you’re handsome? You should get your head out from the clouds and—Ah! Let me go, Eren!”

Eren chuckled under his breath. “Never,” he simply stated.

Having his arms under your back and knees only made you cling to his neck as if it was your lifeline. Your protests and light punches on his chest didn’t deter him from doing the exact opposite of letting you go as he spun where he was, with you in his arms. Your squeals colored the entire landscape with an even brighter shade of blue, his laughs joining in as a complementary color. His feet sometimes got caught in the sand under him, which only wobbled his balance until you pleaded for him to put you down. Slowly enough, your shouts turned into full-blown laughs as Eren continued twirling the two of you, blue splashes twinkling against the rays of the sun. At some point, you leaned back with your arms now raised in the air, feeling the euphoria taking over your entire body. Eren struggled to keep you in his arms all the while adoring the look of eudaimonia on your features. That only made him slip, causing the two of you to tumble down on the water, with your body hovering Eren. Green eyes ate you—its limbal rings flecked with the image of you. While the others were laughing with each other down the waters, you and Eren were staring at each other as if it was the first time you saw the other. For him, your beauty made the world stop. For you, it was seeing him in a new light.

Seeing the new shine in your eyes for him, Eren leaned forward to press his forehead on yours, heart beating tumultuously. “I promise to give you the most beautiful world after the war, just promise me back that you’ll never slip away from my grasp.”

You placed your hands on his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat through your skin. “When have I ever slipped away from you, ‘Ren?”

A dozen images flashed in front of Eren’s eyes but he couldn’t look away at your inquiring ones. “No matter what happens, don’t. If it comes down to that moment, promise me that you’ll listen to me, okay? I …” Eren hesitated, weighing if this was the right time to pour out his feelings for you. Your hair fell over your shoulder, tilting your head in patience. “I … [Name], you—”

“Take your time, Eren.”

Eren shook his head before nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck to hide his burning cheeks. He tightly closed his eyes and lightly brushed his lips over your skin, causing you to shudder on top of him. “Can I tell you a secret?” You only hummed in response, running your fingers through the damp strands of his hair. Eren fixed his stare on the foam behind you, mindlessly lifting his arms to wrap them around your waist. “You’re my heaven in this hell and I can’t afford to lose you. If I lose you, I might as well burn the entire world to the ground.” He tightened his embrace around you. “I’ll gladly be the devil because losing you means that I’ve lost the only good thing I have in this hellhole. I don’t want that to happen.”

“I’ll never leave you, Eren. I’ll always be here with you. I’m the moon to your sun, right?”

“My moon,” the boy murmured on your skin.

Eren will do anything to keep his moon shining.

There were times when Eren would sneak inside your room during your time as cadets. Historia, Ymir, Sasha, and Mikasa were all used to his behavior of peeking inside the doorway despite being forbidden to enter the female barracks. He figured that if he napped with you by his side, everything will wash away from his mind—the responsibilities, the threat of Titans, the constant battle for survival.

Now, as Eren carefully opened the door to your single bedroom in the Scouts Headquarters, he stood with his back on the wooden door to stare at your breathing figure with half-lidded eyes. It seemed that as the years passed, Eren was slowly turning into the most brooding person everyone knew rather than the hot-headed suicidal bastard that he was. He was wearing a long coat and there was a sack of essentials draped over his shoulder as if he was going somewhere. Nobody knew of this plan of his, which will only be revealed in a letter once he reached his destination. But if there’s someone in the tight circle of the Survey Corps worthy enough of saying farewell to, it was you—the one person who’s been there before anything fell into their demise. Eren, however, was nervously wringing his hands in front of him. You shifted in your bed, stiffening Eren in his post at your door. Damn, you really don’t know the effect you have on him? Exhaling a sigh, Eren silently padded his way to sit on the edge of your bed, his fingers reaching out to brush your hair out of your face.

“Eren?” you mumbled, eyes opening with a hazy undertone. “It’s late, why are you here?” Your mind answered your question for you, causing you to smile in understanding. You scooted to the right side of your bed, patting the space beside you. “You can sleep here, ‘Ren.”

For a moment, Eren’s eyes flashed like a fast-paced comet in the night sky. His voice was low and small when he finally said, “I’m going away to Marley.”

You sat up, the blankets pooling on your waist and your nightgown exposed to the chilly midnight air. Eren’s tan cheeks colored a slight red at the sight of the see-through coverings on your body. You didn’t care if he saw you in your most comfortable clothes, there was something foreboding with the way Eren’s face contorted in a light grimace at your furrowed expression.

“What?”

Your hand made its way up to cup his cheeks, turning his head to face yours. After three years of preparing for the war against the nation across the seas and Eren grew into a young man who towered above anyone else with his secretive determination to provide you with the most beautiful life. You watched him grow into different phases of his life—the brazen little soldier boy who vowed to protect you always, the passion-driven teenager who screamed to kill all of the Titans, the reserved young man who looked like he had the entire sky on his shoulders. You saw everything that he came to be and now he was the one slipping away from you despite the promise you shared in the sea. “Don’t tell me you’re doing something reckless again.” Tears were starting to cloud your vision. “Please, stay with us and we’ll think of another plan before doing whatever you planned inside that head of yours. Don’t just head there without any help from us, ‘Ren.”

Eren’s breathing hastened when he saw you cry, begging for him to never leave Paradis. Why did he think that going to you before setting sail for Marley was a great idea? Now, it was even harder for him to leave. The emotions keep piling up inside his heart, the three little words that could change everything lodged in his throat. His eyes didn’t lie, though—they were flashing with so much affection for you that he buried his hands through your hair to embrace you tightly in his arms. You were still pleading for him to stay, your cries muffled by his shoulder.

“Please don’t cry, moonshine.”

That only spurred you to dig your hands in his back, wishing for him to rethink his decision. You’re his beloved, his anchor, his moon—everything beautiful in this world was all of you. “I have to do something first before I can have that happy ending I was talking about in the meadow.” Why can’t he say those words that he kept inside a jar in his heart? “Just promise me that you’ll never let me go.”

Another promise.

“Did you tell the others?”

“No, they don’t know.”

“Why are you doing this without them knowing?”

He knows your eyes are glaring on his shoulder, still, he didn’t let you go from his arms.

“Because it’s better that way.”

You pushed on his chest to meet his eyes. “You’re an idiot, you know that, right? Why are you heading there by yourself, ‘Ren? You know Levi’s going to kill you once he catches wind of this.” There was a beat of butterfly wings before he opens his mouth, his words chilling your blood.

“If it means raising hell on earth just to give you any semblance of serenity—I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

The atmosphere inside the airship was stifling, the silence was deafening as you stood inside the room with Mikasa, Armin, and Levi. The four of you were facing Eren, Zeke, and Yelena. The whole time the mission to retake Eren after he crumbled Marley into a sea of flames, you were keeping your head down, not having the strength to look at Eren, unlike the others. There was nothing to be said as you took a deep breath to excuse yourself from the room, Mikasa following you with her eyes laden with misery. This might even be the final straw in snapping your relationship with Eren, there was no going back, now that he killed innocent people for his goal. His words before he turned himself as a refugee in Marley pulsed in your head, creating a headache that drilled in your skull. A firm hand latched on your wrist, preventing you from moving any further. Staring down at the tanned hand wrapping your wrist in a vice grip, you were met with Eren’s dull green eyes staring straight at you. You don’t know what to feel so you clenched your jaw and looked away from him.

“Please, don’t go out there,” he whispered for your ears only. Levi narrowed his eyes at the exchange, taking a step closer to where you were to make sure that Eren stays in his lane. “[Name], please listen to me. Don’t step outside that door. I beg you.” The grip on your hand only tightened. “I need you home.”

You don’t even know where home was at this point. You tried prying his hand away from you, gritting at the force he applied to make you stay inside the room. Mikasa was about to help you but Levi rose a hand in front of her to not make a commotion, the older Ackerman’s eyes only hardened at the refusal Eren sported. “Eren, let me go,” you murmured. “Eren. I just need some fresh air—it’s suffocating in here.” He didn’t relent, clinging onto you as if you were the source of strength he needed to win this war, which you never knew that you were of importance in this chess game he initiated. In the end, you stopped struggling, hope sparking inside the young man’s chest. However, you looked down at him with a blank stare, his eyes slightly widening at the coat of disappointment swirling in your irises. “Let me go. I’m already tired enough as it is, don’t make me argue anymore.” You felt his hand slackening, allowing you to slip from his fingers.

He couldn’t fight against you.

Opening the door, the cheers from the other soldiers contrasted the silence you just left behind. It was a celebration you had no plans of joining since you were still hovering above the city you just declared war against. Pushing past bodies that you have no chance of interacting with, you let out a small sigh of relief at the second trio you held dear to your heart. Sasha was the first one who saw you, her steps receding the distance between you two, and engulfing you in a tight hug oozing with tenderness. You grew to care for Sasha since you were always roomed with each other even way back in the Training Corps. She regarded you highly after you shared your meal with her, only to have Mikasa place some of her portions on your plate because she doesn’t want you to get underfed. “Hey, Sasha, I’m glad you’re safe.”

Sasha nuzzled her head on your hair, breathing in your faint scent of cloves. “I’m glad you’re here, too. Oh, God, I hope it’s over.”

You know what she’s talking about but you didn’t want to extinguish the temporary joy she wore after this mission. You placed your chin on her shoulder, smiling against her uniform while running circles across her back. “I hope so, too.”

“Once we get back home, we’ll eat all the food we receive from Niccolo. You lost weight, we ought to get it back up!”

You chuckled at her bright nature. You’re already looking forward to going home with the people you call family.

But when the thuds of bodies coming from the entrance of the airship, all of those promises you made to certain people crumbled right in front of your eyes.

You saw a brown-haired girl aiming a rifle in Sasha’s direction and because of instinct, you pushed Sasha away from you. Using all of your strength, your friend hit the side of the airship in a shocked huff. Then, everything flashed by your eyes—all the running in the streets of Shiganshina, the stories you all shared during your time in both the Training Corps and Survey Corps, keeping your lives intact at every mission in the entire year before you discovered the ocean. But a certain person clouded your mind—the little soldier boy you promised to never let go when the time comes. His iridescent green eyes that sparkled against the sunrays. The chocolate tresses that now reached past his shoulders. Oh, how you wanted to braid his hair the moment you saw it flowing in the wind earlier. The hugs he gave you after a long day in training. The expectant look he threw at you when you stood on his shoulder with Mikasa whilst you blankly stared at the burning ground. There were so many things you wanted to say to Eren but a single sentence rang inside your head—

I love you since the beginning, my soldier boy, I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you.

And the bullet hit you square on the chest.

Chaos ensued in the airship. Sasha was frozen on the floor, eyes wide and mouth agape at the reality of the situation. Connie and Jean stared at the children being beaten up by the other members of the Survey Corps. At the first punch landing on the brown-haired girl who shot you, Sasha jolted from her trance. She scrambled on the floor, crawling to you, who was breathing heavily while finding the ceiling interesting. The blood was starting to pool around you in that vibrant shade that was starting to haunt her. She didn’t know where to put her hands, horror flowing in her veins at the realization that you pushed her away to take the bullet. Choking a cry, Sasha screamed, catching the attention of Connie and Jean, who was still processing what happened.

“[Name]!”

Connie jumped from his spot, wide eyes taking you in before kneeling on your other side. His hands were gently tapping on your still warm cheek. “Hey, [Name]? Hang in there, okay?! Stay awake please!”

“[Name]!” Sasha continuously called out for you, tears coming out in rapids onto her cheeks. “Please! Don’t close your eyes yet! There’s a feast waiting for us prepared by Niccolo.” Then, she stopped and wailed, hugging you close to her, your blood staining her uniform. “Why did you have to take it for me?!”

“Why are you guys … so loud?” A serene smile weakly appeared on your face. “We’re all going … home, right?”

“Somebody get some bandages!” Jean screamed at somewhere beside you. “We have to stop the bleeding!”

“[Name], make it to the island, okay?!” Connie tried convincing himself.

“E … ren,” you breathed out before all the light escaped your eyes.

The moon lost her shine.

Sasha felt you slump in her arms, her face expressionless before she mindlessly reached out for the bandages in another soldier’s arms. She started coiling it around your body but the blood only seemed to seep through. Sasha was in a trance as she convinced herself that you were just sleeping and that you needed to eat when you get back home. The brown-haired girl was in that state until Mikasa and Armin burst through the door to kneel beside you. Their wails didn’t help because Sasha found herself crying once again.

You have to survive; you were the one person who tied everyone together back when you were cadets. You were the reason why Eren and Jean tolerated one another. You were the one Armin confided in when he had some plans. You were Mikasa’s rock and the only one with who she could be herself. You were Sasha’s personal pillow during your nights in your shared room. You were Connie’s source of comfort when he found out his entire village turned into Titans. Everybody expressed how important you were and they were starting to think that they should’ve expressed it more because you were such an angel.

“Every time you’re caught by the enemy, we sacrifice lives to bring you back. No matter how many or how important they are.”

Those words flew by Eren’s ears, with him staring at nothing in particular. He knew this was going to happen—you dying in this airship. He fought so hard to make sure you don’t take one step past the doorway but you did the exact opposite of what he hoped for. He was so weak against you that he let you be because he didn’t want to feel the disappointment radiating from you. He could carry all the glares of anyone in this ship but never yours. So, he let you go. And now he felt half of his soul breaking, spreading a blossoming ache towards his chest until he placed a hand above his heart to try to quell it. Eren clenched his jaw to prevent himself from breaking in front of the people inside the room, even to the point of biting his cheek, his blood creating a tangy taste on his tongue. It was like half of him was gone the moment you were shot. His breathing became ragged the more he fought back the sobs brewing in his throat. He didn’t even say he had loved you more than half of his life. His lips were trembling as Connie opened the door with a horror-stricken face, the cries of the others beyond the door echoing like demons.

“[Name] … is dead.”

Fuck, he loves you so much and you didn’t even know it.

“Connie,” Eren’s voice wavered. (Levi furrowed his eyebrows at the broken sound.) “Did she … have any last words?”

Please let it be something else.

Connie turned his head to Eren. “It’s your name. [Name]’s last word was your name.”

The gleam in Eren’s eyes came back as he buried his head in his hands, the first signs of a sob coming out in whimpers of your name. Levi, Hange, and Jean stared at him, surprised that after dragging Marley to the coldest pits of hell, Paradis’ devil blatantly showed his vulnerability—his weakness being you. Murmurs of apologies streamed out of his mouth. The promise of being the first hero to have a happy ending. What happy ending when you’re not here to enjoy it with him? His version of a happy ending was confessing to you and starting a family once the onslaught was over. Now, it burned to ashes. The promise of never letting go when the time in the airship comes. His heart couldn’t bear the look on your face just minutes ago. Now, it led to your death. Half of his soul died alongside you. His shoulders shook as he let out the loudest sob inside the airship; Jean looking away to prevent himself from crying, even Hange was turning around to give the brown-haired boy his privacy. Eren didn’t even ask you to sing that lullaby he always liked before you passed away. There was one regret creating a migraine in his temple and that was never letting you know he loves you more than anything in this damn world.

His heaven in this hell was no more.

His moon was no longer here.

Perhaps it is the greatest grief to be left on earth when another is gone.

With a newfound fire, Eren will watch the world burn without you—the only promise he’ll find himself fulfilling, now that he lost the only beautiful thing he had in this cruel world.

#rorywrites #rory's 600 milestone event ✨ #eren yaeger x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger x y/n #eren jaeger #eren x reader #eren brainrot rn #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan imagines #attack on titan #aot x reader #eren attack on titan #im hungry for feedback so pls tell me what you think uwu

[autisticandroids]

yknow those episodes where a character's whole personality gets split into 3-5 different distinct separate bodies? what bodies would cas have? I feel like it'd just be a mess tbh, imagine 5 different castiels all of them loving dean to a certain extent but showing it VASTLY differently. one cas would literally want to murder the others lmao

okay so i don’t actually think this trope would be an effective tool for analyzing cas? he’s not conflicted enough in himself. he’s too impulsive, too singleminded, too uninhibited. like, in the end, cas always ends up doing whatever he wants. there aren’t multiple discrete voices vying for control, really, or rather, if there are, one is always significantly stronger than the others. like in the end cas will always end up eating raw meat off the floor, you know? he’ll do what he wants. if i was going to do personality splitting i’d do it to someone intensely internally conflicted, like dean.

however, because i’m in an essay writing mood today, i’ll answer a question slightly to the left of the one you asked. cas may not be internally conflicted, but he is intensely changeable. these two things are related, actually; the same impulsivity and singlemindedness that mean he doesn’t have a ton of internal conflict at any given time mean that different ideas sound good to him at different times, because he isn’t really thinking about, say, what future-him will think of them. and he’s not really trying to maintain an image or identity. he’s just doing what feels right at the time, which is very different at different times and in different situations.

anyway, that in mind, i think a lot about ways to bring together many alternate versions of cas which sort of correspond to different times in the show.

i have a fic in my head about a bunch of cas-es pulled from alternate timelines by some kind of spell. so this would be set during the widower arc because the basic impulse here is to show dean a very bad time. just absolutely put him through hell. also, all the alternate timelines are different because different stuff happened, not because cas made different choices, because if we’re torturing dean it has to be like 5x04, the changes in cas can’t be cas’ fault. they have to be dean’s or just like, the universe’s (which makes them dean’s).

so dean is trying to bring cas back, and he finds some kind of spell that can bring someone “from another world.” and he tries it because hey. can’t hurt to try. anyway i’ve thought a long time about different versions of cas i would put in this and here is what i have. in order of when the timeline split off.

- a cas who never raised dean from hell. think 14x13 “lebanon.” this one i’m not too sure about, like, this could be fun, but i don’t know if it’s different enough from the next one. like this castiel would have lived through the averted apocalypse and subsequent general fuckery that happened as an angelic footsoldier, which would actually be pretty interesting now that i think about it, especially since all that stuff would have gone down soooooooo differently without cas specifically for your average angel footsoldier. like cas has PERSONALLY caused more upheaval in heaven in twelve years of spn than there seems to have been in millennia. so he would be the point of view of a normal footsoldier from a totally other world.

- a cas who died mid season four, and is pulled out of the empty in 2017 by this spell. i’m not sure when this cas died. my thoughts are (1) killed in on the head of a pin by alistair, (2) killed during his torture in the rapture, or (3) simply never resurrected after lucifer rising. (3) makes the most sense, but that cas has already thrown away everything for dean. i prefer the idea of a cas who loves dean, is already on the brink of disobedience for him, but has not yet taken the plunge. both on the head of a pin and the rapture are great places for this, and they both have strengths and weaknesses. if he died in the rapture, he was killed by heaven, which is fundamentally more fun, but he was also really very much over the edge already. if he died in on the head of a pin, he wasn’t killed by heaven, but he is perfectly teetering on the brink of falling for dean. regardless of when he died, the purpose of this cas is to be horrified at all the various and myriad ways he has destroyed and corrupted himself for dean in the other timelines.

- possibly endverse cas, who would have died in 2014, but like s4 cas, would have been pulled from the afterlife by the spell. i’m not so sure on this one. we as a society love endverse cas but i dunno what purpose he would serve. maybe endverse cas didn’t die in 2014, and instead was imprisoned by lucifer, because, you know. he’s the only brother lucifer has left. so he is very excited to see dean alive and well, since his dean is dead, and, not being an angel, cas can’t bring him back. the purpose of this cas would be to horrify dean that cas loves him and needs him so much, and to disgust the other cas-es with his neediness.

- a cas who was in some way on better terms with dean during s6. maybe dean and cas ride off into the sunset together after swan song instead of dean going to live with lisa, maybe dean prayed to cas while he was with lisa because he missed him, who knows. either way, cas has dean’s help with the angel revolution in season six from the start, and never goes to crowley. the plan cas and dean come up with to beat raphael includes breaking into the cage and stealing the grace of michael and lucifer, freeing sam and adam in the process. incidentally, it also involves cas possessing dean, because if cas is gonna eat archangel grace to become more powerful, he’s going to need a stronger vessel. so cas and dean have a whole like. midam situation happening. they’re a double archangel together, and godstiel never happened so none of the other terrible apocalypses that stemmed from that happened, and everything is pretty cool where they’re from, and also they’re obviously uhhhhhh SOME kind of together. the purpose of this cas is to upset dean because this cas shows how much better everything could have been and how much better his and cas’ relationship could have been if dean had simply been more considerate of cas in s6, and also freak dean out with how uh. close. this dean and cas are.

- a godstiel who managed to swallow purgatory without swallowing the leviathans and remained god. he’s probably soooomewhat less scary and murdery than canonverse godstiel because no leviathans, so you know, not as many angel purges or massacres on earth. and he probably went and fixed sam’s wall within about three days because cas is prideful but he does NOT like it when dean is mad at him. so they did kiss and make up, and so this cas would have had dean to act as his morality chain. but he’s still very scary and godstiel. and also he refers to dean as “The Beloved” you know. his purpose is to freak everyone out, because he’s scary, but also, for the past cas-es, because he is a terrifying abomination that they could never imagine becoming, for the future cas-es, because he is a reminder of their worst selves, and for dean, because he is a reminder of how dangerous cas is, but also because he uh. obviously has some feelings about his dean. unclear if they are consummated or not.

- a cas who naomi never rescued from purgatory, and who stayed there. hasn't spoken to another being in half a decade, has not recovered from his emotionally destroyed state in purgatory in s8. believes at first that the spell is his dean rescuing him, and is crushed when he realizes he was wrong. like endverse cas, his purpose is to show dean how much cas needs him and depends on him emotionally, and how he (dean) is capable of destroying cas, as well as his guilt for leaving him in purgatory and how lucky he is that his cas got out. this is especially noteworthy since the guilt for leaving cas in purgatory is part of the reason dean is trying to get cas back.

- a cas who stayed human after season nine, and has built himself a small human life over the next four years. he has a job and an apartment and friends outside the winchesters and yes, he still goes hunting after work sometimes, and he's still in contact with dean, but he is also independent in a way no other version of cas has ever been. he exists to freak out dean because dean has never seen cas independent of him. he is also fairly bitter at dean since dean did kind of stop spending time with him when he was no longer useful, and our dean feels guilty for that.

- a cas who showed up twenty minutes later in 10x03, finding sam dead and dean gone, and had to chase down demon dean, and has now spent three years following demon dean around as his tragically adoring stalker, because he hasn't found a way to resurrect sam yet and he doesn't want to put dean through the demon cure until he can save sam because he doesn't want dean to experience that guilt, but he also adores dean and wants to keep an eye on him and keep him safe and also keep him from doing anything too heinous, so he just covertly follows him around the country and watches from a distance as he commits various murders and fucks his way through every local bar scene. and occasionally cas finds dean something to kill, when the mark gets hungry, and drops it in his path. his purpose is to freak dean out with the lengths cas would go for him, and the depths cas would sink to.

anyway. lebanon cas and season four cas are horrified and perhaps disgusted (lebanon cas more than s4 cas) by ALL of the later cas-es, and how far they’re fallen, all of it for dean. godstiel and archangel cas being abominations, endverse cas and s9 cas being fallen, even purgatory cas and demon dean’s cas for their total dependence on dean.

purgatory cas and endverse cas are just happy to see a dean, even if it’s not their dean. demon dean’s cas, too, in a way. he’s happy to see a dean who is still human, who he can still have as a friend.

human cas is pissed to see that he was right, that dean would have stuck by him if he’d still had his powers, that this version of dean is doing spells to try and bring his cas, who is still an angel, back, whereas he and his dean only see each other once every couple months.

everyone is terrified and disgusted by godstiel, as i said before.

they’re mostly kind of thrown by archangel cas. a lot of them are jealous. godstiel is furious because how dare anyone, even an alternate version of himself, take dean as a vessel (even if dean likes it). godstiel isn’t really there, though, he resisted the summoning and just sort of popped his head through to see what was going on, and he goes back to his own reality pretty fast without murdering anyone.

also to be clear dean has not at this point examined or acknowledged any feelings he may have about his cas besides “friendship,” nor has he wondered what feelings his cas may have for him. given how many of the cas-es were clearly in some kind of relationship with their dean (endverse cas, archangel cas) or just openly in love with their dean (godstiel, purgatory cas, demon dean’s cas), dean is forced to reevaluate the nature of his and cas’ relationship.

#spn #asks #anonymous

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 3: Angst with a Happy Ending

39 fics under the readmore

Conditional Miracle | @vampamber

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,551 Main Tags/Warnings: season 12 finale, in-canon temporary character death, love confession Summary: Chuck can bring Castiel back to life, but only on one condition: Dean has to tell Castiel how he feels about him. Not that "You're family, Cas" stuff, but how Dean actually feels. A coda for s12e23 "All Along the Watchtower" (a bit late, but better late than never)

Sharp edges | @chaoticdean

Rating: General Word Count: 1,638 Main Tags/Warnings: Major Character Death, (although he does come back at the very end), Temporary Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt, Angst with a Happy Ending, Letters, Five Stages of Grief, post spn 15x18spn coda, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, written several months before the actual episode Summary: Castiel told him he loved him right before getting swallowed up by the Empty. Sam told him to talk, but words won’t come out, and really, how is he supposed to tell anyone how it feels to lose everything? So he writes. Letters on napkins, motel notepads, paperback books. He writes as he goes through every steps of grief, until finally there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

What the Water Gave Him | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,794 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon, Implied/Reference Character Death, Sam Finds Out Summary: It was over. Chuck lost, Sam and Dean can live their lives how they want them. But their victory wasn't without losses. The biggest upset nearly taking Dean out of the game, happening so close to the final battle. Now he's on the other side, alive against all odds, but Sam knows he isn't happy. Not truly happy since the Empty stole his best friend. But there's a chance they can save him. A slim chance. A risk that Dean's willing to take despite every logical nerve in Sam's body screaming at him to look for better options. That threading a needle this small is too dangerous. That they don't have to take on another big bad, not anymore. That they don't have to risk their lives anymore. Dean is far past the point of listening. Dead set on this mission, Sam can only watch. And pray his brother proves him wrong.

A Classic Fear Of Rejection | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 1,841 Main Tags/Warnings: pining, anxious Cas, Dean has self worth issues, love confession Summary: Castiel has been in love with Dean for almost ten years now. Ever since he'd raised the Righteous Man from perdition, actually. But Dean appears to be straight, so the angel just pined for him instead, fearing rejection. At Sam's insistence, Castiel finally admits his feelings, and it turns out that the angel may have been wrong about the elder Winchester's orientation.

The Things You Almost Say (But Never Do) | @wingsdestiel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,967 Main Tags/Warnings: Light Angst, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonverse, Season 11 Summary: Team Free Will hasn't been much of a team lately, and Castiel wishes that Dean would stop avoiding everything.

Forget Me Not | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2,932 Main Tags/Warnings: top Castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Car Accidents, Hospitals, Amnesia, Temporary Amnesia, Therapy, Makeup Sex, Marriage Proposal, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: A tragic accident during an argument leaves Cas with a head injury and amnesia, but Dean is determined to stay by his husband's side, even when the memories that return are painful. Can they move past the memories?

Forgetting Your Blues | @amirosebooks

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,440 Main Tags/Warnings: Season 12 finale fix-it, amnesia, temporary main character death, fluff and angst, getting together, openly bisexual Dean Winchester Summary: Dean Jones doesn't know his real name. He woke up on a public park bench a few months back with an empty wallet and a driver's license listing the name Dean Jones with his picture. The name doesn't feel right on his tongue, but he doesn't remember what part is wrong. The cop who found him in the park got Dean a job in a local diner. The diner feels comfortable to Dean. He understands the rhythm of the place, the ebb and flow of the people and food, even if he's clearly never carried a tray of hot plates in his life. He settles into his new life. He makes new friends. He takes beautiful women and men and people to his bed for comfort on long nights. He has nightmares about blood covering his hands. Who is he? Why has no one come looking for him? What has he done? Why did he fall apart when he saw a guy wearing a tan trenchcoat?

I NEED YOU | @cooloddball

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,675 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst with a Happy Ending, Smut, Making up Summary: Sam is so done with Dean and Cas' bullshit. Time to get some things sorted out.

Even if the sky gets rough | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,360 Main Tags/Warnings: Fuck Or Die, cursed!Dean, dubcon, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings Summary: Dean can’t believe he got cursed again. Only this time it’s a lot worse, because if he can’t find someone to fuck him… well, he dies.

spes alit et falit. | @celestialsilhouette

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5,524 Main Tags/Warnings: djinn fic, angst with a happy ending, first time Summary: ~hope sustains and deceives~ Dean wakes up with a gasp. He shoots up in his bed, panting, heart pounding, and wide awake. He grips the sheets in his hands tightly and swivels his head to look around the room, making a half-aborted movement to reach under the pillows for the gun he knows always lies there, the smooth metal familiar and comforting. He doesn’t recognize where he is.

Don't Call Me Demon | @angzlicas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6,432 Main Tags/Warnings: Demon!Dean, MOC!Dean, Human Castiel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Smut, Canon Compliant, Top!Dean, Bottom!Cas Summary: Dean’s shouting at this point, his eyes pure black again, and Castiel can feel the anger and panic tainting the room. It’s charged with emotion, even though most demons are incapable of feeling anything other than hatred and malice. It feels like fear. Or the one where Cas wants to take the mark from Dean

Life in prison | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7,084 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt Dean Winchester, Dean had to steal food to eat, Dean had sex for money in this, Thief Dean Winchester, almost murderer Castiel, Semi-Public Sex, implied bottom dean Winchester, Non-Penetrative Sex, Soft Dean Winchester, almost rape (non Destiel), Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, First Time, Alternate Universe - PrisonPrisonAlternate Universe, Prison Sex Summary: When Dean gets arrested for stealing food, he has to face prison at 21. He is scared and his cellmate seems a bit harsh too. Will he warm up to him eventually? Or could he even fall in love with a prisoner?

Four of Swords | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: No Rating Word Count: 7,127 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon, Human Cas, Baths, Dean Winchester has Self-Worth Issues, Castiel Takes Care of Dean Summary: The Four of Swords, in the present position, means you don't want to interact with the rest of the world. Because of stress, you need to spend some time with yourself - unhealthy always being 'on'. That the healthiest thing to do is to escape. Dean might crave escape, but it's not something he thinks he can have. Something he deserves, even. After his and Sam's most recent hunt, this cancerous feeling has grown heavy and weighs him down. He cannot escape on his own, as best he tries. Luckily a guardian 'former angel' angel swoops in at his lowest. Helps pick up the pieces as best he can and lovingly put them back together. But he can only do so much. The rest is up to Dean. Can Dean take those final steps, say those final words, and finally free himself?

Free To Be Us | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8,011 Main Tags/Warnings: Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Switching, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Claiming Bites, Semi-Public Sex, Kidnapping, emancipation, broken bonds, Suicide attempt mentioned, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Dystopia Summary: In a Dystopian world, Alphas and Omegas are rare. So rare that they meet only at semi-annual, semi-corrupt conventions organized by Betas, all for the purpose of breeding. Dean is one such Alpha, prized more for his seed than for himself, and untouched. Raised to value the system, he's about to have his world turned upside down, and it all starts with a decadent scent.

Not Here for Me | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 8,113 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Humans, Alternate Universe - 2000s, Gay Bars, Closeted Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, references to Dean's bad childhood Summary: If he had the choice, Dean never would have stepped foot inside this place. But Sam was curious - and curious is a hell of a lot better than the depression that clung to him day after day since Jess left him. So Dean swallows his pride, joins Sam as his babysitter. So he won't get find himself in any trouble. Trouble, however, is more likely to find Dean. In the bowels of his personal hell, can Dean resist temptations that have plagued him his entire life? Or will someone descend and lend a hand, showing Dean that the darkness he imagined only lived inside his own mind. And all that he feared was not as he seemed if he let himself step out of the shadows of his past.

Bearing A Heart | @lockandk3yfiction

Rating: Mature Word Count: 9,421 Main Tags/Warnings: Female Castiel (Supernatural); Castiel in a Female Vessel (Supernatural); Genderbending; Pregnant Castiel (Supernatural); Possessive Castiel (Supernatural); Miscommunication; Running Away; Death Threats; Angst with a Happy Ending; Abundant Mention of Death pertaining to an unborn child Summary: Castiel believes she is becoming more human in the way that she sleeps and eats. It’s a repercussion of falling after all. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s what she gives up to maintain her relationships with the people that she cares about. But what if she shared more than a “last night on Earth” with Dean Winchester? When Castiel learns that she is bearing the heart of another living being, the angel decides to do all in her power to protect her child.

Take Your Human Charge To Work Day (WIP) | @pointyearedelvishprincling

Rating: Mature Word Count: 11,222 Main Tags/Warnings: mutual pining, fluff and smut, case fic, top!castiel/bottom dean winchester, canon typical violence, angst with a happy ending, love confession, castiel dream walking, memory alteration, Summary: Written in third person with alternating POV of Dean & Cas. Something's changed between Dean and Castiel. Dean asks Cas to take him along wherever it is the angel goes when he's not around the Winchesters. He's curious, that's all. No feelings involved. It'll be fun. Dean's ready for Cas to take the wheel on their adventure, but turns out some feelings aren't so easy to repress when it's just the two of you. Cas needs some time alone. It's a heavy burden hearing Dean's longing like a constant prayer while Cas is trying to resist his own feelings. Now he's stuck in LA on a case that could have taken him minutes to solve, and Dean is very distracting. Why is it they can only let their guards down when faced with losing the other?

Scentless | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 11,416 Main Tags/Warnings: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Getting Together, Alpha Dean, Omega Cas Summary: Cas lost his mate and his scent a year ago when his scent gland was burned in order to brand him as a barren omega. Ever since then, he has been trying to pass as a beta, hiding his mutilated scent gland under the collar of his shirts. This works pretty well for him, until he meets alpha Dean Winchester, who turns his life upside down.

Mated (WIP) | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14,721 Main Tags/Warnings: Falling in Love, Strangers to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Dean in Denial about Sexuality, Alpha Cas, Alpha Dean, Bottom Cas, Top Dean Summary: Of course, if Dean had known that it was possible for an alpha to mate another alpha, he would never have let himself get carried away and bitten the hot alpha’s mating gland in the throes of passion. It wasn’t like he was into alphas, after all… Right? Having accidentally mated the most awesome alpha, he might have to rethink some things about himself as he gets to know his mate and starts falling for him.

Scented | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 19,298 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Mpreg, Alpha Dean, Omega Cas, Top Dean, Bottom Cas Summary: Cas could not believe that a sweet and sexy alpha like Dean was interested in him—burned and barren omega, social outcast with an abusive ex-mate. To make their new relationship work, they have to figure out how to deal with Cas’ insecurities, society’s prejudices, and a surprise here and there along the way…

Tacoma | @ellis-park

Rating: Mature Word Count: 20,055 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon divergent, season 15 breakup, angst with a happy ending Summary: After an explosive fight, Castiel leaves the bunker and Dean decides to let him go. As Cas ventures halfway across the country on a journey to find himself, Dean reevaluates what he needs from life. And what he needs is Cas.

I Will Hang My Head Low | @andimeantittosting

Rating: Mature Word Count: 22,403 Main Tags/Warnings: Fairytale/Folklore AU, Sick Cas, Temporary MCD, Grief/Mourning, Boy King!Sam Summary: Dean Winchester gave up hunting when his brother became the prophesied Boy King of Hell. Now he ekes out a meager living, chopping wood for a nearby village, until one snowy night, he follows what appears to be a falling star, and encounters an injured angel. Afterwards, he tries to put the strange night from his mind. When he meets Castiel, a mysterious man with healing powers, they form an instant connection, and the more Dean learns of Castiel's powers—to heal, to protect, to purify—the more he begins to hope that Sam can be saved. But as they prepare to save Sam, Castiel grows sick, and then sicker still. Too late, Dean learns how much Castiel is willing to sacrifice for him. Inspired by the Decemberists' Crane Wife and the Japanese myth on which it is based.

The Awakening | Eggplant47 (A03)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 39,144 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe--Human, past child abuse (not explicit), past rape (not explicit), past child sexual abuse (just mentioned), Drug Use, Drunk Driving, Prostitution (past), Infidelity (not between Dean and Cas), Switching Summary: Dean Winchester had always lived on the surface of life, but a bump on the head and his young, blue-eyed brother-in-law are about to push him into the deep.

Lost Together | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 40,551 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Lucifer (Supernatural), bottom Castiel/top Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Witch Castiel (Supernatural), Familiars, Animal Abuse, Animal Death, Minor Character Death, Racism, Homophobic Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, True Mates, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Explicit Sexual Content, Claiming Bites, Knotting, Mpreg, Happy Ending, Shapeshifting Summary: Castiel is a powerful Omega witch, but even his magic can’t save him and those around him from his ex, Lucien. When his familiar is brutally killed, Cas vows never to take another familiar because he can’t imagine risking another animal’s life. A wolf roaming his property has other ideas. Meanwhile, his new neighbour, an Alpha named Dean, is worming his way into his heart in a way that Cas can’t resist. Can the two souls overcome danger, broken hearts, and secrets together, or will they remain lost? Through tragedy and misunderstandings, Dean and Cas are destined to be together. But destiny’s road can be deadly.

The Driver | @friendofcarlotta

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 40,963 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Stunt Driver Dean Winchester, Getaway Driver Dean Winchester, Convenience Store Clerk Castiel, Waiter Castiel, Kid Fic, Single Father Castiel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Inspired by "Drive" (2011) Summary: Dean Winchester is a mechanic and occasional movie stunt driver living in LA. Most people don't know that Dean also drives getaway cars for armed robberies. For months now, Dean has been nursing a crush on his neighbor, a single father named Castiel. When a violent turf war between Dean's boss and a rival gangster threatens to compromise the safety of Castiel and his son, Dean makes a choice that will change his life forever.

(You Don’t Have To) Say You Love Me | @darknessbound3

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 44,379 Main Tags/Warnings: Heavy Angst, Top!Cas/Bottom!Dean, Separation, Reconciliation, Pining Summary: Six months after Castiel walked out on a twelve year marriage to Dean, he decides it’s time for a divorce. Dean, on the other hand, isn’t so sure, and is willing to stop at nothing to win his husband back.

The (Un)Buried Past | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: Mature Word Count: 53,282 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Deaths, Gore and Blood, Angst, Intense Violence and use of guns, background relationships, Implied Smut Summary: After six years of living as a civilian, Dean has gotten rusty when it comes to defending himself. But, when the past comes knocking down everything in its way, Dean has to sink back into his old skin to get back what he wants. Ad what he finds out during the journey is not what he wants.

A Driver Worth His Salt | @thefandomsinhalor

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 67,844 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depiction of Violence, Mafia AU Vibe, BAMF Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean, Trauma Summary: The job is simple: drive the passenger a few times a week to yet-undisclosed locations and return with said passenger without fail. Be on time. Be discreet. And never interact with each other outside of work. Once twenty-year-old Dean meets the passenger in question—the sharply dressed and rough-looking Castiel Novak—he finds that abiding by those shady rules may be more complicated than he had anticipated.

All the Night Tide | @funnywings

Rating: Mature Word Count: 72,315 Main Tags/Warnings: Pirate AU, Golden Age of Piracy, Mythology and Lore, Temporary Major Character Death, Pirate!Castiel, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Kidnapped for ransom by his childhood best friend, Dean is eager to return home and escape the pirate ship that has become his prison. But when Castiel sets his sights on a dangerous new quest, Dean chooses to stay by his side, even if it means facing down Death itself.

help me get where I belong (WIP) | ravenkings (AO3)

Rating: Mature Word Count: 73,437 Main Tags/Warnings: alcoholism, substance abuse, referenced child abuse, referenced assault, extensive crafting Summary: Dean Winchester just needs to get through a quick three-month stint in rehab to appease his little brother, then he'll be back to boozing away the rest of his short, shitty life. Except he kind of likes the group therapy leaders for AA, he's getting way better at watercoloring, and the crazy-haired guy on the NA side of the ward keeps winking at him.

Missing | @kitmistry

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 93,025 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow Burn, Murder Mystery, Post-Breakup, Mutual Pining, Heavy Angst, Minor Character Death, John Winchester's A+ parenting Summary: Two years ago Dean Winchester broke his heart. Now he's at Castiel's doorstep, asking for his help, but there's nothing Dean can say that will convince Castiel to listen. Or so he thinks. Faced with the news of Sam's disappearance, he decides to put his anger aside and follows Dean to a rural town in Nebraska, where they end up tangled in the missing girl investigation Sam was looking into. With an unknown threat closing in on them and all the things left unsaid between them about to be revealed, Castiel and Dean race against time to find Sam before it's too late.

All the Reasons We Are Real | @charlies-secret-closet and @jupiticas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 96,466 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow burn, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Fluff, Canon Adjacent, Sam Winchester Ships Destiel, Destiel Fluff, Abusive John Winchester, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Charlie Ships Destiel, Self Worth Issues, Major Angst, You Will Cry, Summary: Sam is tired of it. Tired of the staring contests and the eye-sex and the 'standing two inches apart' thing. With a little help from Rowena and Heller-Queen-Charlie, Sam becomes the matchmaker: and tries to make his ship canon. Meanwhile, Cas is hiding a painful secret about a certain deal, and Dean is hiding his deepest truth. Until one night, when their long-awaited happiness becomes their greatest sorrow. Written in the original canon universe, this fic uses many canon scenes from the series to show that Destiel doesn't need fanfiction to be real. It has always been there, it will always be there, and it is REAL.

Twenty-Nine Steps | @scones-and-texting-and-murder

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 113,621 Main Tags/Warnings: underage, rape/noncon , PTSD, past child abuse, child sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts, repressed memories Summary: At the age of forty, Dean Winchester has a strong, loving marriage, a successful business, and a young nephew he absolutely dotes upon. He and Cas are living the kind of life Dean never thought was meant for him, one where the future stretches out before them, solid and bright. When a series of small and seemingly unrelated events coalesce into a larger, horrifying realization, he’s rocked to his very core. With so much of what he thought he knew about himself ripped away, he’s trapped between confronting the trauma of his past and believing he’s worthy of the life he’s built.

Still Breathing | @casbelieves

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 124,924 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con, Drug Use, Self-Harm, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Mentions of Suicide, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Reunion, Angst, First Love, Unrequited Love, Foster Care, Smut, Switch!Cas, Switch!Dean, Angst With a Happy Ending Summary: Castiel has no reason to trust anyone. As a teenager in the foster care system, he’s experienced horrific and unspeakable acts of violence and abuse that will haunt him for the rest of his life. When he arrives in Pacifica, CA, as the newest addition to the Singer’s foster family, the last thing he expects is to develop a deep and unbreakable bond with the boy-next-door, Dean Winchester. But Dean isn’t as in control of his own life as it seems, and the two struggle to navigate homophobia, trauma, and the pressures of an impending adulthood. When they meet again as young adults, eight years after their falling out, they are given a chance to rekindle a fire that never truly went out.

Patient Love (WIP) | @chaoticdean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 152,765 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Settings, US Navy SEAL Dean Winchester, Journalist Castiel, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, War Injury, PTSD, Grief/Mourning, Friends to Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Misunderstandings, Angst With a Happy Ending, Switch Dean/Switch Cas Summary: Castiel Novak is 27 when he suddenly loses his twin brother Jimmy, and his whole world turns to ashes. After 10 years as a Navy Special Warfare Operator, a battlefield injury forces 28-year-old Chief Petty Officer Dean Winchester to chose between being stuck behind a desk for the rest of his career or going back to civil life. Things are already complicated and painful enough as it is, but when former lovers Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak meet again after 10 years of radio silence and a galaxy of wounds and scars solidly standing between them, it feels like both a curse and a blessing has been placed on them both. Is there any hope in putting back their broken pieces together after a decade, and how do you deal with grief and broken dreams?

The Offering | @deans-jiggly-pudding

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 167,703 Main Tags/Warnings: Incubus!Castiel, AU - high school, John Winchester’s A+ parenting, rape/non-con elements, heavy angst with a happy ending Summary: As a pastor's son, Dean Winchester is expected to be all the things he's not: the church poster child, compliant with every plan his father has for him, and of course, straight. Fighting the confines of his father's faith and the control it has over his life, Dean is caught in the middle of a teen lock-in activity that will change his life. The boys accidentally summon an incubus named Cas, and his demands are clear. Dean discovers Cas to be everything he expected... Yet, even the darkest of creatures has secrets of his own. Can they be together, despite who they are, and despite everything designed to keep them apart?

A Ghost Story (WIP) | @valleydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 248,988 Main Tags/Warnings: Temporary Character Death, Alternate Universe - 19th Century, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Gardener Dean Winchester, Rich Castiel (Supernatural), Hunter Dean Winchester, Period-Typical Homophobia, References to Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, Magic, College | University Student Dean Winchester, Ghost Castiel (Supernatural), Haunted Houses, Established Relationship, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Arranged Marriage, POV Dean Winchester, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Witch Hunters, Animal Death, Alternate Universe - Past Lives, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Secret Relationship, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Soulmates Summary: Castiel Novak has haunted his family's estate for 150 years, awaiting the return of his lost love. Upon their reunion, Dean Winchester learns of his past reincarnation. After the night of Castiel's resurrection, the two try to find out why they've been given a second chance. The answers may be hidden in the forgotten memories of Dean's former life - but sometimes the truth is better left buried.

Time Won’t Let Me | Aketch-22 (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 253,520 Main Tags/Warnings: Non Explicit Sex, Closeted Castiel, Hurt Comfort, Harry Potter Crossover, Angst and Feels Summary: Entering his 5th year of the Voldemort-controlled Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, muggle-born Dean Winchester is faced with the prospect of the Choosing - a ceremony where twelve students are picked based on blood status to participate in the Mudblood Games. In the Games, the tributes are transported to Purgatory. If you're the first to find your way to the portal out, you become part of Voldemort's world - and if you're not, you die. Will Dean, Sam, Castiel and the others be Chosen, or will they simply have to sit by and watch their friends suffer at the hands of the cruelest supernatural threat the trio have ever faced?

The Exceptional Bad Boy | @thedevil-is-in-the-details

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 329,619 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - High School, Bottom Castiel / Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester / Top Castiel, Past Rape / Non-con, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Alcohol Abuse / Alcoholism, Drugs, Suicide Attempt, Fluff and Smut, Tattoed Castiel, Depression, Anxiety, Self-harm, Stalking, Minor Character Death Summary: Again, they move to a new town and Dean is so sick of always moving around and always being the new kid at school. And he wants something better for his little brother Sam. But their father can't manage to keep a job for longer than two months. No matter where they are, there is one thing that is always the same though. Dean's reputation as bad boy. It was never a problem that there were already other bad boys because Dean was always the worst. But now, he has keen competition – Castiel Novak. Covered in tattoos, drinking, smoking, doing drugs, breaking other people's noses... Novak's reputation precedes him. But that he's still different than every bad boy Dean's ever met is pretty clear though, from the very first moment they meet.

#destiel trope collection 2021 #day 3 #angst with a happy ending #destiel #fanfic #supernatural #saving blogs; queuing things; the tumblr business

[shatouto]

Yo!! I recently got into obikin, and I love your blog!! Do you have any recommendations for obikin blogs/writers/artists I could follow?

thank you, and welcome!! ah shit, this is gonna be difficult to compile but i hope i can at least give you a starting point! in no particular order because my brain is goldfish

okay so, obikin starter pack: check out the obikin server tumblr blog right here @obikins and get your discord invite! everybody is super nice and friendly and so so so creative 💕

RIGHT SO, i’ll be reccing tumblr blogs and ao3 accounts a handful of people whose tumblr i dont know or am not sure if i can reveal!

star wars blog: @gffa - gen star wars stuff, VERY COOL META especially if you’re pro-jedi and or wanna read more on interpretations of the Force and stuff, lots of reference materials too; and yes they are also obikin. this was probably one of the first blogs i follow on here i think!

writers:

@obiwanobi amazing senator kenobi content, also just, amazing writing in general

@tree-scapes (ao3) honestly one of my favorite authors ever, her writing style just hits different ya know

@unspuncreature (ao3) they write lesbian obikin and such vivid sensual thoughtful writing hgngn it is imperative that you check out their fics!!!

@glimmerglanger (ao3) the most delicious top notch bottom obi content i honestly just- aaahh

@himboskywalker (ao3) plEASE check out her obikin tag and FICS!! SUCH VIVID SEXY WRITING

@intermundia (ao3) a lot of obikin content and classics too if you’re interested in that!!!

@xeniaraven (ao3) loooots of great nsfw fics

cataclysm_dialogue writes lots of wonderful smut too but i don’t know if they’d wanna reveal their tumblr name

same for is0lde - who writes really pretty flowery smut and makes the best analogies

ghostwriterofthemachine i am currently DYING FOR her poet obikin fic, gorgeous writer really

@professorkenobi this ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE GEM run by @luckee (ao3) and @theseptemberist (ao3) who also write fics separately!

@jasontoddiefor (ao3) amazing talented writer with lots of wonderful gen fics and such great great great concepts. check out @dai-bendu-conlang too if you’re into constructed languages!!

ghost_owl still the writer who wrote the best kiss i’ve ever read and i will never shut up about this

wanderlove PLEASE CHECK EM OUT god i love their fic

@shywhitemoose (ao3) amazing writer who is also a great artist!!

@jamesttiberius (ao3) GOD AMAZING WRITING LHSDKJ I HONESTLY WILL NEVER GET OVER THEIR SOFT CANONVERSE SLICE OF LIFE

@maragny (ao3) aaahh really really sweet soft fics i love <3

@sonderwalker (ao3) lots of soft hurt/comfort fics too <33

@izazov (ao3) such great ideas, i love them <3

@anakinspraisekink (ao3) writes really sweet smut!

artists:

@new-anon i think they draw more than just obikin but their art style is really to die for!

@quiet-oracle really really sweet painterly style

@daisanfar you’ve gotta check em out, i love their art style so much, i adore <33

@coldishcasecreates (ao3) wait he’s also a writer so he belongs to the other category too- man im bad at this. but yeah, really witty content creator!

@kuzuyu427 is an amazing artist with a very sweet art style

@iamurako is also a super great artist with such a great art style and humorous scenarios

@jswander (ao3) another amazing artist AND writer pls check em out!! also writes the softest squick content i am not kidding

@raijikaru ohhh soft art and great lighting <33

@tomicaleto their mini AU keeps me ALIVE- oh wait i think they also write! (sorry, again im terrible at this)

@mashimero (ao3) another super talented artist-writer combo!!

@a-smiling-travesty her art style is so so soft and i just- adore <333

@unpheenix (ao3) yet another double menace artist-writer!! their art style is so recognizable, i love it, and mmm many delicious AUs

okay i think i’ve exhausted my brain capacity for the day. im sorry if i missed anyone, i tried my best to include every content creator that i know is active!! i hope you have a good time in the fandom anon!! you’re gonna be here forever

#ask #anon #blog rec #artist rec #writer rec #im sorry to everybody that i’ve pinged #like deeply sorry #let me know if you wanna be removed from the list! #long post

[hangekitty]

Hange x f!Reader Oneshot

Summary: Squad leader Hange is a very busy scientist, so having Moblit and Y/N on their team is a great benefit to their work; so much so that Y/N finishes Hange’s work so that they get time off! Little do they know that the socially awkward Y/N has a passion for astrology, so one night she works up the courage to take Hange star gazing!

Genre: Fluff, Smut 18+

Warnings: spanking, cunnilingus, fingering, swearing, 69-ing, this oneshot is GOOFY af

Universe: canonverse

Word count: 3.9k

A/N: This oneshot is based on the song Space Girl by Frances Forever, I love this wlw song so much I just had to. In this one shot Hange’s pronouns are she/they but I mostly use they/them pronouns! Although in the song the singer refers to her space girl as a ‘cancer’ (astrological sign) I have left the reader’s sign ambiguous so you can insert yourself in! Also I don’t know how advanced the canonverse is with astrology, especially with astrological stories behind the constellations but we won’t focus on that its just a cute (probably inaccurate) oneshot. AFAB!Hange. I am so sorry it’s so long for a oneshot!! I just love them so much 🥺

When squad leader Hange Zoe is in the zone, they will work throughout the day and throughout night with no breaks and no signs of stopping; unless they quite literally pass out. If ever they got in that position of dropping at any moment, you and Moblit would be there to either complete the work or to catch Hange before they fall. You had always admired Hange’s determination and stamina, that alongside their eccentric personality, had you weak at the knees.

If you were honest with yourself, you had quite fallen head over heels for Hange the moment you saw them, their smile felt like a kick in the heart and a thousand butterflies in your stomach. It wasn’t until you helped Levi bathe Hange did you realise your feelings towards them, desperately looking away from their body with great embarrassment. Levi always rolled his eyes at your actions, but he’d usually have a faint smirk on his face as you try and wash them whilst attempting to keep your eyes closed. You and Levi were quite close, despite his quiet (and rather passive aggressive demeanour), a friendship with him was meaningful and he definitely cared more than he’d let on. He, alongside Moblit were the only ones that knew of your passions with astrology and space; he’d always say something like “it’s quite fitting, you’re head is either in the clouds or up Hange’s ass”. The funny little bastard.

Your captain would tease you regularly, especially when he noticed your longing stares; whether it be out on expeditions or back at HQ. He’d reach for your head and shake it, waking you up from your day dream. “Your obsessive pining will get you killed, scout” and “Keep it together space girl” were a regular thing Levi would say. You couldn’t help it, Hange was your moon and all the stars in the sky, all things you’d happily gaze at forever.

As mentioned, the bathing sessions were a great opportunity to get advice (and teased) from Levi. One bathing session he told you that he’s pissed off that you hadn’t revealed your feelings yet. How could you? Hange probably didn’t feel the same way, and neither did they have time for it! Changing the subject slightly, you would say “Poor Hange, always working so hard!”

Its true, Levi would usually have to knock them out to bathe them because they worked so much; you suppose the only ick that bothered you about Hange was their lack of hygiene - they just can’t help it. All of that energy dedicated to work, they rarely had any spare time to do anything else; but you were determined to make today different.

You heard of a meteor shower that was expected around 11pm that night, a spectacle you were adamant not to miss. You decided that if any time was the perfect moment to reveal yourself to Hange, tonight is the night. You day dreamed the whole day, picturing the two of you under the stars. Between paperwork, you would check regularly and calculate the time and position of the moon whilst the meteor shower happened; it had to be perfect.

“A waxing crescent” You whispered to yourself

“A what what?” Hange fluttered over to your table making you jump, you attempted to hide the paperwork of calculations; absolutely nothing must be revealed otherwise the surprise will be ruined.

“Squad leader H-H-Hange! I uhhh nothing!!” You stuttered, looking to their perfect, smiling face. You wanted to both die and dance at the same time, to grab them by their collar and kiss them passionately. Hange leans on your desk, looking at you with a cheeky grin.

“I do hope you’re doing your work scout! You don’t want to be working for 2 days straight like last time!”

“That won’t be the case tonight Hange!”

“Oh?”

“I recon if I work solidly for the next 2 hours I will be completely finished!”

“Really? Ugh I technically have like 4 hours left of paperwork too do, I don’t really even have time to scold you on how obviously distracted you are Y/N” Hange sighed, lifting their goggles up to pinch the bridge of their nose. Your eyes light up, seeing their face without goggles was just...

“Well if you give me part of your work, we will be both finished in 3 hours. Anything else that needs doing I will do!” You offered, Hange darts their eyes at you, an excited expression on their face. Without any warning they grab your hands into theirs and puts their face mere inches away from yours. Your face heats up, staring at their lips, you hold everything back from just leaning in to kiss them.

“You’d do that?? For me?? Well aren’t I lucky to have such a kind assistant!!!” Hange exclaimed

“If you both give me some of your work, I am happy to complete whatever’s left” you hear Moblit say across the table. Your eyes turn to him as he gives you a knowing wink. Gods bless Moblit. “That way you two get to leave early tonight, I hear there is some kind of astrological event on tonight”

Your face dropped, as much as Moblit was helping you, he must have looked at your notes as he walked past; nosy dickhead. Hange placed a hand under their chin and thought for a moment, before they had the chance to say anything about it (worrying they’d say its stupid or something) You stood up in your seat.

“Squad leader Hange! We can watch it tonight together if you’d like!!!” You blurted out, sounding more authoritative than you’d wanted. Hange’s eyes widen and observe your shaking body.

“But what about work?? I am sure after this paperwork needs doing they’ll be-”

“I’ll do it! Even if it means I work into the morning. It’s something that Y/N is passionate about so please!! I can always get Nifa or Abel or both to help me out!” You could hear the panic in Moblit’s voice. You take what you thought about him being a dickhead back, he’s doing you such a favour. The both of you look at each other and then back to Hange, trying to gage what their response will be.

A roar of laughter fills the room, followed by a long sigh. “As long as you are sure Moblit, that is real sweet” Hange turns to you and grabs your hand again. “Tonight’s a date then, what time and where?”

‘A DATE???’ You panic to yourself, did they really call this a date. You scream in your mind, wanting to just faint there and then. You collect your emotions and take your hand away from theirs, coughing into a fist. “10:15, walk south from the back entrance of HQ and head towards some bushes and the oak tree. I will meet you there” You said, you wanted to be far enough from HQ so you wouldn’t be disturbed.

“Sounds perfect! Now, lets get some work done!” Hange exclaims, sitting back at their desk and scribbling even faster than before.

The three of you continued to work, you were the first to finish and left the office to get changed into your casual gear. You pull out some perfume that you saved months up for from the market, it was a beautiful scent that you only used on special occasions. You looked in the mirror and hyped yourself up, “come on Y/N you are a lover and a fighter. Titan killer in the streets, pussy killer in the sheets” You slap yourself for saying something so embarrassing out loud.

Once dressed, you head out to the spot with blankets, pillows and a couple of lanterns; if you were to be there a while, you wanted to be comfortable. Once everything is laid out, all you had to do was wait. You felt the nerves building up, as time passed and drew near to Hange’s arrival, you had looked at all of your notes over and over. You lined star charts up and spotted all sorts of constellations to point out to Hange when they were there, you looked at the notes with all the stories behind the constellations and tried to identity any planets that were visible. You kicked yourself, wishing you’d be able to afford a telescope; apparently Saturn is aligned with Mars and that would have been an incredible sight to see.

You hear a noise behind you, oh lord here they come! You scramble at your notes, looking at the more complicated details and stuffing them into your bag.

“Y/N I could do with a little bit of help!!!” You hear Hange yell out, clear struggle in their voice. You stand up to see them behind the bush holding a very large telescope. You rush to their side and help carry it in front of the blankets.

“Hange! Where did you get this telescope from??” You exclaim with delight, Hange’s face blushes at your excitement and rubs their neck.

“Well after Moblit told me that you’re passionate about astrology, I took a deep dive into what is so special about tonight. A meteor shower right? And the planets Mars and Saturn?? Well so I uh....spent my savings on this baby to see it” Hange said awkwardly, your mouth agape and eyes wide, they spent all of their money on a telescope just for this?

You lunge forward and give Hange a massive hug with excited giggles. “Hange thank you so much!! It’s going to be so amazing I promise you!!!!”

Hange blushes wildly, resisting the urge to kiss you. “Well, it’s nice to see someone so excited over science just as I am, makes me feel a little less weird”

“Oh trust me, in school when we were taught about astrology I seemed to be the only person interested! I would spend hours just researching the constellations and zodiac signs! No one really wanted to be my friend, so uhhhh well I suppose I shifted my focus on Titan fighting and work with you and your science squad. It’s not space, sure, but I too felt lonely in my hobbies!” You explained, Hange’s heartstrings felt a tug, picturing you as a kid is just too cute.

The two of you carried on with conversation, you pointed to the sky and explained the stories behind the constellations. No matter how complicated the story or science, Hange seemed to want to know more and more; you even had to pull out your notes to answer their questions. In Hange’s mind, they had spoke about the science of titans for years and never bothered to ask you where your true passions lie. They questioned why they never asked, perhaps they were too nervous? Hange always put on a mask of being this optimistic, eccentric scientist and even acted cocky in front of you, but secretly they were just as insecure and shy towards you. They wanted to get to know you, but of course the element of dying at any point worried them; if they got too attached, especially romantically, it would hurt more. However, since the two of you are out there, looking at the telescope and talking so much, Hange’s fears lifted, even if it was for an evening.

Using the telescope, you pointed it in the direction of Mars and Saturn, both planets basically next to each other, a wonderful view to see. They weren’t super clear of course, the telescope wasn’t that powerful, but you could clearly see Saturns rings; something Hange got super excited over, asking you millions of questions. It wasn’t until the both of you sat down, waiting for the showers to come did you gulp and turn to Hange.

“Hange, I hope you don’t mind but I really would like to talk to you” You began, nervously fumbling with your fingers

“We’ve been talking all night??”

“AHH no I mean I have to say something okay. Please don’t say anything until I uhh finish because I just kinda wanna blurt it all out okay??” You really are stuttering and slipping up on your words, Hange gives a reassuring smile and nods. “Okay, I uhh...” You were interrupted by the meteors shooting across the sky. Mesmerised, you didn’t move your face away from Hange, just your eyes, they took this opportunity to lean in and kiss you. Your eyes widen in shock, what are they doing?? They’re going to miss the meteor shower! Despite this, you relax and close your eyes, leaning into them and deepening the kiss.

“Hange...”

“As you were sooo distracted, your turn has been cancelled. I’ll go first. Y/N I really like you, I have done for a while, and I know you and Levi bathe me together, and sometimes...sometimes I hear you”

“Ahhhh!!!!” You yell out in embarrassment, Hange lifts a finger to your mouth

“Ah ah ah, I am not finished yet! I find you breath taking, I even get so overwhelmed by the way you just stand there! It makes me want to work harder, so much so I would purposefully knock myself out so you could bathe me...oh gods that sounds bad. Not in that way I JUST REALLY ENJOY HEARING YOUR CONVERSATIONS WITH THE CAPTAIN!!!” Hange is now the one getting all flustered, waving their hands erratically. They didn’t want it to sound weird, but they aren’t exactly experienced in expressing their feelings.

“Hey no I get it, sort of...but yeah I really like you too and I guess I’ve never...I UGH words” You pathetically confess, earning a laugh from Hange.

“We’re not very good at this are we, space girl?” Hange moves their arm around you and pulls you in to a hug. Your eyes light up at your little nickname, they definitely do listen to yours and Levi’s conversations. You take this opportunity to kiss Hange, feeling their soft lips on yours.

“You’ve showered haven’t you?” You smirk into the kiss, Hange looks at you, confused and a little insulted.

“How ... whaaaa?”

“You smell delicious” you say boldly, in fact Hange did shower before meeting you tonight, for the first time in ages. They of course laugh at you, and confess. You both sit there for a moment, watching the rest of the meteor showers, colours of gold and silver shooting across the sky.

“How beautiful” You whispered to yourself, Hange looks at you and smiles

“Not as be-”

“Nope. That’s so cringey” you joke, Hange slaps your legs earning a weird moan/yelp from your lips. You cover your mouth in embarrassment. Hange looks at you with curiosity, what a response to just a playful slap. Hange’s face confidently smirks, taking your chin in their hands.

“What was that?” Hange asked seductively, walking two fingers up your thigh. You shiver at how foreword your squad leader is being.

“Nothing...”

“Do you think I’ll be able to get another noise like that out of you?” Hange moves their face forward, practically whispering next to your ear

“I uh...oh look the meteors! They are still going!” You panic, the air is thick, your heart fluttering at how close they are getting. Not that you wouldn’t want to...it’s just moving so fast that you couldn’t barely keep up.

“The meteors can wait”

“I mean technically...” you’re words at cut off by Hange kissing your neck, testing the waters a little before going right ahead. You softly moan out Hange’s name, heaving a little bit at the intensity. So long have you envisioned yourself in this position, being kissed by your squad leader; you’ve thought about it and you’ve touched yourself to it. You may be feeling a little awkward now, but you shiver with anticipation to see how far this could go.

“Are you okay?” Hange asks, looking at you with a little concern, they can feel you tensing under their touch, even shaking a little. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable”

“No! No definitely I’m okay I’m just inexperienced. I mean I’m not but it’s different when it’s you because I...I like you and I want to do this but, can we start off slow?” You ask nervously, Hange gives you a tender kiss on your forehead and holds you close.

“If you ever want to stop, please tell me okay?” Hange asks, you nod at them eagerly before pulling them close in for a confident kiss. You lean back onto a pillow, allowing Hange to hover above you, lips still connected. What a feeling this is, never would you imagine getting this close to them; you savour every moment. Hange sits up and takes off their shirt, revealing a binder underneath before taking that off too, your eyes fall to the exposed skin; a lump in your throat. There Hange is, straddling you and pinning you down, half naked and stunning.

“Gods...” You whisper under your breath, Hange snickers at your cute expression before attacking your neck. They plant several erratic kisses all of you, earning a mixture of moaning and giggling.

“What happened to going slow?” You chuckle out, Hange stops immediately and changes their expression.

“I can slo-”

Hange’s words are cut short as you flip them over underneath you, their eyes wide and breaths manic, that is until you sloppily kiss their lips. Hungry noises leave either of your throats as you fight for dominance; you suppose the issue here is that the both of you are so eager, so keen to please that you clash - but in the best possible way. One final flip and you find yourself locked onto the floor under a very horny squad leader. And by locked, it means having Hange gripping your jaw with one hand and the other being intertwined with yours.

“Be my good little space girl, let me see you” Hange unbuttons your shirt, one button at a time, almost painfully slowly. 1...2..3...4...and suddenly your chest is on full view. You attempt to cover yourself, but too late, Hange is already kissing every bit of skin they can see, uncapping your breast from your bra like a hungry animal and latching their mouth onto a free nipple. They graze their teeth and tongue over your sensitive bud, sucking slightly. You reach a hand up to their head and grip their hair slightly, enjoying the sensation. Whilst you are so distracted, Hange reaches a hand down to your trousers, you don’t even notice them unbuttoning them; it was only until their hand was ghosting over your underwear did you look down. They then press a finger against your clothed pussy, feeling your growing excitement.

“Wet already?” Hange scoffs against your breast, you can’t even answer; either from embarrassment or your panting. Hange thinks back to your little yelp, they would love to hear you make such a noise again. “Over my knee sweet pea” Hange ordered, without hesitation you stood up and allowed Hange to sit down, here you bend over their knee, raising your ass into the air to give them all the access they need. After pulling down your trousers to your ankles, they take extra time to look at you; you’re hot and bothered, shaking a little in anticipation. Hange looks to your perfect ass, stroking and groping it slightly, thinking about all the little red hand prints they will leave on you.

“Such a good girl” Hange mewed before landing a harsh slap across your cheek, you yelp out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Enjoying the noise so much, Hange slaps your ass over and over, allowing little to no breaks between each hit - you knew this isn’t quite how spanking works but it feels good and Hange definitely was enjoying watching your ass jiggle with each slap.

“Ow!” You yell out, that last hit was a little too hard; Hange, feeling sorry kisses your now extremely red behind.

“I’m sorry, I got a bit carried away; here...” Hange moves their hand over to your underwear again and slips under the fabric to stroke your aching clit. Whatever pain you felt had all disappeared to the sudden wave of pleasure that is Hange. They spread your pussy a little, allowing their middle finger to trace your folds and stop at your clit; here, Hange uses their middle and index finger to rub the sensitive nub, interchanging their technique from circling to a forward to back motion. You could feel the knot build up in your lower abdomen, imaging yourself cumming onto Hange’s fingers. That was until they pulled their fingers away, you let out a disappointed moan and looked to your squad leader with pleading eyes.

Without word or warning, Hange lowers themself down and repositions you over their face. You were now suddenly close to Hange’s pussy, unfortunately still clothed, as you fumble at their belt you could feel Hange lift your ass up a little and look down to see what you’re doing. They smirk, hands leaving you and helping you pull down their trousers and underwear; much better.

You wasted no time but to dip your head at their entrance and lapped up their juices, hands either side of their propped up legs and making sure to be especially rough on their clit. Hange moans out painfully, how long had it been since they were in this position? Your ass is forcefully lowered onto Hange’s face, you feel them lick and suck at your clit, feeling your knot tighten one more. Your legs begin to shake, you won’t be lasting long and Hange can just sense it.

“Y/N look! The meteors are going again!” Hange yells out, you stop licking and look immediately up to the sky; but this was a trick because Hange pulls you down further, inserting 2 fingers into you and eats you out rougher than before, earning an eruption inside you, bursting and almost painful as you cum hard onto their mouth and fingers.

“Venus~!” You strangled out, shaking heavily above Hange who cocks their head to the side.

“Venus?”

“Uh..yeah sorry I don’t know why I do that...” you breathlessly panted out

“Don’t apologise, its cute” Hange strokes your ass, giggling at their little space weirdo. You position yourself above Hange, taking them by surprise as you cup their pussy with your hand.

“Got you” Was all you could say before inserting two of your fingers inside your squad leader. You arch your fingers inside of them, using your thumb to draw circles over their clit as they pant and whine under you. Using your free hand you grab both their wrists and hold them above their head, giving you full view of their body. As you finger fuck them, you reach down and kiss them, moving your lips from theirs to over their neck, sucking hard; making sure to leave a dark mark. That was it for Hange, their whole body trembles and cums undone; what you didn’t expect was the flood that left their body, squirting all over you.

“Globular Cluster!!!” Hange screams out, they were a hot mess, melting into the blanket. You crawl next to them and snuggle into their chest. They begin to stroke your hair, leaving forehead kisses.

“Globular cluster?” You ask cheekily, Hange laughs and pats your back.

“Listen, if you are going to scream out space words during sex instead of my name, I might as well do it too!”

“That is too adorable”

“As are you Y/N, do you think my space girl could love an earth...ehhh girl?”

“There is a gender neutral word for that you know, earthling” You giggle, Hange huffs a little, cheeks dusted with a pink blush.

“But yes, this space girl loves her earthling” you say, kissing their head. The both of you spent the rest of the evening just staring at the stars, Hange continuously asking questions including “What’s my zodiac sign?” and “Is yours compatible with a Virgo?” - not that it particularly matters whether you are astrologically compatible with Hange, you already knew you were.

#hange zoe x reader #hange x reader #aot hange #attack on titan hange #commander hange #AOT #attack on titan smut

[lacharcutiere]

OHYMGOD PLEASE SOMETHING WITH AN AWKWARD START TO A RELATIONSHIP PLEASEEEE I DONT CARE WHO I JUST NEED A COPING MECHANISM TO DEAL WITH THIS MESS

awkward relationship tings w ushi<3

ushijima wakatoshi

ushijima wakatoshi x gn!reader // sfw, fluff, & canonverse

are we surprised that this was requested by my bitch @howlpendragonsupremacist ?? i luv u kt

tis just a quick hc thingy i’m writing while i keep y’all waiting on more big tings bc i like this idea & have head full of thoughts. ushi is baby marg take no criticism

general masterlist // haikyū!! masterlist

PLS LMAO this would start out so awk

just,, when boys text like ushi KEJFJDJS

okay sO

you guys already know each other—you probably have for a while, but like,, you don’t know each other, ya know?

you’ve kind of been interested for a minute, a hot minute, but it was never really enough to make a move or anything; you just kinda watched him from afar and were content with that

because anyway, the idea of a person tends to be a lot more appealing than the person themselves, right?

but life becomes inevitably boring like it always does, and you’re running out of ways to make it less so, and i mean,, it’s ushi. he is Attractive. capital “a”, italicized and bolded.

so one night you decide, fuck it, what could go wrong? and you text him. (maybe i should mention you haven’t really talked before, or at least not in a very long time)

poor ushi, so socially inept🥺 but he’s trying his best tho and that is what matters

you attempt to send him memes, tiktok references, whatever. the irony goes completely over his head. which in itself is ironic; this 6’3” bitch.

facebook memes? nah, they are not memes to him. he is a facebook boomer trapped in an 18-year-old body (a seggsy one, at that, and free of the problematic traits of most facebook boomers. but he is a facebook boomer.)

but!!! your interest in him turns out to be reciprocated

and as time goes on and you continue talking, you both get used to the other’s little idiosyncrasies n things

he begins to get your memes a little more, starts sharing in your obscure, maybe cursed sense of humor, and you stop minding his bluntness quite so much as you basically pavlov train yourself out of thinking that every properly punctuated text is passive aggressive, or that his formality means that he’s keeping you at a distance

he asks to facetime one day and you politely make an excuse bc you’re afraid of it being awkward (which yeah, it prob would be)

BUT eventually you also just get up the guts (or whatever) to call him and,, it’s actually really enjoyable?? quiet for a lot of the call, yeah, but not actually that awkward. and it’s nice knowing that he’s just there and getting to stare at him uninterrupted 

so you do it again!! (and again, and again)

and one day he proposes that you guys hang out in person, yk, like,,, a date

and like,, you gotta say yes. come on.

you go to the aquarium. it’s pretty. and more awkward than facetime. but you take some comfort in knowing that it goes both ways.

and just like facetime calls, dates—just being alone together—get easier after that first one

after maybe two or three, you come to the mutual conclusion that the both of you actually click really well; it’s just the getting past the initial uncertainty that was difficult and maybe a little painful. and you make it official:)

you’re still a little bit of an awkward couple for the first month or so tho

not so much when it’s just you two now, but when you’re with friends and stuff bc pda can be weird and sometimes it’s hard to tell when it is and isn’t appropriate

and also ushi’s not huge on pda

but he does love you (which he definitely announced as soon as he realized it) and that’s what matters❤️

general masterlist // haikyū!! masterlist

#ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima x reader #ushijima hcs #ushijima headcanons #ushi fluff #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #sfw #fluff hehe #the way i literally wrote this in like 30 minutes #u wanna see some real SPEED #okie gn it is bedtime #mara's archive