#but it doesnt matter what you want the answer to be because you already know and this qui | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sarcasmo-mexicano · 9 months

Text

Relax 🔞

Pre-Collider Jonathon Ohnn/The Spot x AFAB!Reader

There's no doubt that your boyfriend, Jonathon Ohnn, is a really hard worker.

His work is extremely important and as such he puts the extra effort in anything he does; Its because of this that he is one of the top scientist at Alchemax.

The thing is, when Jonathon focuses on his work, everything else is a secondary task and it means /everything/.

You have to constantly remind him to eat because if you dont, this man can go without eating actual food for days and will try to survive out of energy bars and redbulls.

He has been so absorbed on his work that he sometimes will collapse from exahustion in top of all the papers he has been reviewing.

He also tends to ignore you.

You know its not on purpose but still kinda hurts.

When he gets into a new project, you feel lonely.

You are tired of waking up to and empty bed, eating dinner alone, watching the shows you were supposed to watch together, alone.

Between the loneliness there is also the concern for his well being; How many nights has he stayed up until the crack of dawn, working so much that his eyes are all red?

Has he eating? Drink water? Shower?

Its not only this hyperfocus period but the burnout you know its coming after.

So the next time he announces he will be working on yet, another of his projects, you take matter into your own hands.

This time, this man will relax, even if its the last thing you do.

When you get home, already late into the night, you find Jonathon hunching over some papers. His desk is already a mess: piles of open books and papers laying everywhere, tools scattered around.

You toss your bag and coat to the ground and make a bee-line to him, squeezing his shoulders as you give him a peck on the cheek trying not to disturb him too much.

"Hey" You quietly greet him, giving him another kiss on his temple.

He answers you with another "hey" his lips curving in a quick smile before going back to work.

"Did you eat lunch Johnny?" He nods as you tuck some stray hairs behind his ear, he barely reacts at your touch. "Water?" Nods again. Well at least, he did eat. You sigh "Im gonna go shower ok?"

"Ok, honey" He says without looking at you, writing something on a notebook.

Frustration builds inside you but no matter, this time he will take a break.

You hop in the shower, warm water cleaning the stress of the day away; The soap you choose today is his favourite scent: eucalyptus and lavander, you still remember the first time you used it, how he was all over you, his nose on the crook of your neck.

"You smell so good" You remember how his voice had soften and how his arms around you, holding you close.

You hope it has the same effect this time around.

You wrap yourself with a towel, barely drying yourself, you might want to be a little wet for what is about to come.

In front of the mirror you take a good look of yourself, inhaling deeply.

Honestly you feel a little excited, a familiar tingling forming on your belly.

"Ok, Go-Time"

It's about the third day he has been working on this project.

Or is it the fourth? Maybe a week? Jonathon doesnt really know, his perception of time kinda blurrs when he works.

What he does know if its that, if he doesnt finish these schematics tonight he is gonna lose it.

It shouldnt be this difficult.

He sighs in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose, rubbing the exhaustion out of his eyes.

Its only then when he notices its dark outside.

Oh wow, is it night already? Wait, yeah it is. He vaguely remembers your figure standing next to him, asking if he did eat that day.

He glances over his shoulder, have you got to bed already? Probably, it is quite late.

Guilt strikes him right in the middle.

You always take care of him when he dives on these kind of projects; He knows how difficult he may get, so focused he deliberately ends ignoring you.

But dont you misunderstood! He /is/ grateful for all the help you give him. He notices how you make home-food everyday so he doesnt have to eat junk, or how there's always a filled water bottle near him but far any papers or blueprints he might have around.

You are the most wonderful partner ever, he doesnt deserves you.

"Dinner" He thinks as he goes back at the papers he has been writing. "Dinner on a nice place, a fancy one. Flowers, maybe chocolates? Those black chocolates they like"

Jonathon's mind drifts between his work and plans to apologize properly to you, so focus that he doesnt hear the door of the bedroom opening or your footsteps approaching.

His body shudders in surprise as you put your hands on his shoulders, giving them a soft squeeze.

"Johnny?" You call him "You coming to bed?"

"Hmm? Oh, no. Im so sorry sweetie, I- still have some things to do here." He replies apologetic, crossing something on the margin of a paper and writing another. Honestly there's nothing more he wants that being on bed with you, your soft, warm body entangled with his. He misses you too. "You go without me, I will be there soon" I hope, he adds on his mind.

But instead of going, you put your arms around him, pressing your chest against his back. "Johnny" Your lips brush the shell of his ear and he holds his breath.

"Y-yes, Honey?" His hand trembles as he writes a sidenote.

"You been working so hard lately Hun"

"I- I have! Yes! Im, ehm, sorry about it. B-but! Im almost done! I swear!" He stutters. Its been a while since he had being embraced by you, you smell divine its distracting.

You whine into his ear and he swallows, his cock twitches. "You should take a break baby"

He coughs almost choking, he has stopped writing for a while now. "I-I-I cant, really. I need to- eh finish these"

Surely you would understand right?

"I been lonely Johnny" You whispers, pulling yourself from him and he quietly whines for the lost of contact. However you force him to turn around to face you and his eyes go wide. Oh God. You are only wearing a -rather short- towel, your wet hair framing your beautiful face. "I miss you"

"You have?" His eyes dart on every patch of exposed skin, from your legs to you shoulders, the way is only your arms what is keeping the towel on your body.

"Uh-huh" Your pretty lips accentuate each sound, they look so pretty and pink, he catches himself salivating. "Im tired of sleeping on a empty bed John" You close the distance between you, carefully climbing on him as Jonathon leans back, hands holding the arms of the chair.

"Fuck,fuck, fuck" His mind is speeding, math, formulas and what not already tossed on the back burner, he is already packing a tent on his pants and you havent even touch him.

"I know you are a very busy, bright man" Your voice is like silk, so soft, sending chills all over him "But even bright minds-" Your hands move slowly, removing the towel in a nice, fluid, movement, letting slide to the floor. /OH FUCK/ "Need breaks" You finish, pressing your wet body against his chest.

At this point Jonathon has forgot how to breath.

Every nerve on his body is on edge, his cock its so hard it hurts.

And when he thinks he cant take anything more, you sit on his lap.

You sit /right/ on his clothed dick and you let this sound, this exquisite sound as you slowly, so ruthlessly slow, grind on him.

"Ahhh- f-fuck-" He moans, breathless. His head thrown back, eyes closed, knuckles white as he digs his hands into the arms of the chair.

Is this real? Or did he actually pass out for all the overwork?

"Johnny" His name rolls out of your tongue in the sweetest voice, just like honey, cold hands cupping each side of his head, kindly forcing him to straighten. Out of habit, he leans into the palm of your hand, whimpering into it.

With your free hand, you fix his hair, fingers combing the stray hairs. "Johnny" This time he opens his eyes only to be meet with your naked body, your beautiful eyes staring into his. "Arent you tired baby?" Your hand caresses his cheek, fingers tracing a line until it meets his lips, giving them a small tap. Jonathon can only nod, he has forgotten what words are at the moment. "Dont you want to rest a little?" Your finger drag his lips -ah- side to side, your body pressing more and more into him as you rub his lap.

He nods again, weak sounds coming from his part lips.

"Use your words John"

"Y-yes, I want-oh, I want to-oh god, to relax" His voice cracks, already so weak.

You give him a little smile, leaning completely against him, your lips barely touching his. "Dont worry honey" You whisper, taking both his hands and placing them on your hips "Im going to take good care of you"

Even when Jonathon was waiting for the kiss to come, he still is taken aback as how sweetly you press your lips against his, before giving them a tempting lick. He moans loudly now, opening his mouth and letting your tongue in. He kiss you desperatly, with a hunger he didnt knew he had until now. Every sound you let out its turning him on, hips bucking up, frantic to be inside you.

Your hands find their way to his hair, sinking into his wild locks, pulling it until he cries out of pleasure.

When you break the kiss, he whines in discontent and you cannot help but to chuckle a little, he’s so cute.

You take his hands -at the moment busy grabbing your ass- and slowly drag them all over your body, his big brown eyes following, until they make their way to the edge of your breasts.

"Mmmh" Johnathon whimpers, his thumbs shyly brushing them. He looks at you, asking for permission and how could you say no, really? You giggle and nod, guiding his big hands until each one is holding you. You feel his hips buck again, cock surely twitching inside his tight pants. He kneads them softly, thumbs brushing your hard nipples taking a whine out of you, his hands feel so warm on your body.

"Oh- they are so pretty-Fuck! You are so pretty" Without a warning he pops one of your tits inside his hungry, hot mouth. You thrown your head back, heat already forming on your belly. He sucks on your nipple, while he plays with the other, occassionally mumbling a muffled "so pretty" and "taste so good", he works you so good that you forget for a moment that you are supposed to make /him/ feel good.

Clumsily -the chair creaks and bends very dangerously- you slide your hand to his pants, the tips of your fingers tracing the tent he is packing. When you do, he sucks harder on your nipple and you wail.

Trembling you look for the fly of his jeans, carefully opening them, hooking a pair of fingers on his underwear, sliding them down.

His cock springs free, hitting you in the back.

When you glance over, you see how it gleams, already covered on pre-cum, it twitches needely, the tip red.

Your mouth waters.

You lean back a little, a hand grabbing his hair, his mouth still sucking on you as you wrap your free one around his boner, squeezing it a little.

"Oh-fuck!" He cries, popping your nipple out of his mouth. You dont need to see it to know he has already leave a mark around it. He thrust weakly, moving his cock up and down your hand. "Your hand feels- ah! so good!"

You giggle, he already looks so whipped.

You pump his lenght, thumb rubbing the tip. Your hand slides nicely thanks to all the pre-cum he is oozing.

All the sounds he is letting out, turns you on, you can feel how wet you are, probably soaking Jonathon's lap.

"Please-!" He cries, his chest rising and falling at how quick his breathing is. "Baby, I- I cant! Please! Inside, I want to- ah! Be inside!" And to put emphasis on his need, he thrust his hips again

Honestly, you want him too, now.

"Anything you want Johnny" You say with a sly smile.

Rising your hips a little, you lead his tip to your soaked entrance, rubbing it, one, two times -"¡Honey, please!"- and let it in, slowly, insde you, little by little, until you take him whole.

The two of you moan, overstimulated and sensitive.

You stay still, adjusting yourself to his size, shaking. "You feel so-mnhh! Big!" He feels even bigger than before, already hitting your good spot.

"Can I move?" Jonathon asks, his arms around you, face buried on your chest, legs trembling. "Please, let me move"

He's just too cute when he begs. "Please Johnny" You voice its coated with lust, you want him to ruin you just as much as he wants you to do the same.

He doesnt even waits for you to finish, already pounding you so hard that it makes you scream, surely the neighbors can hear you but you dont give a single shit, let them hear how hard he fucks you.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou" He chants as he pounds into you, already so pussy-drunk. The wet slapping of his cock sound so obscene, blending with your moans and his whinning. "You are-fuck! so tight! Your pussy is- oh fuck, oh fuck! so good!" He moans against your skin, nibbling at whatever he can put his teeth into.

"Johnny! Oh God! Johnny!" Your voice cries desperate, the knot inside you, growing tighter and tigher. "Im-Im close!"

A gasp escapes from your mouth as Jonathon grabs you from your waist, pulling himself up from the -poor- chair carrying you with him.

He grunts at the sudden feeling of being so deep inside you, a hand swating papers and books and tools off the table.

For a moment you grow worried. "Johnny! Your notes! What are you-AH!" You are manhandle, your body resting against the now, empty table, papers, books, blueprints on the floor now. You are about to protest when he thrust into you, filling you up, making you scream. He feels so much bigger, so much deeper.

"Doesnt matter" He growls, big hands pushing your legs until they are up your ears. "It can all wait, right now, fuck, right now I need to fuck you, I need you so badly!" With renowed energy, he rams into you, taking the air out of your lungs, his balls slapping against your cunt. "So good! So good, ah- for me! Only for me, yes?"

You nod rapidly, bitting your lip. When you look at him, he's nothing but a mess, glassy eyes, lips trembling with a moan.

"Yes-" You pant, its so hard to talk right now. "Just for you, only for you Johnny!"

He grunts, letting your legs go, hands cupping your face as he dips for a rather, needy and sloppy kiss. You hold him, digging your nails into his back, your legs around his waist, bringing him impossibly closer.

He moan into the kiss, his pace becoming more erratic, barely taking his cock out.

He's close.

You bring your lips to his ear and shakely, whisper the magic words.

"Inside, cum inside"

"GNHH!-!" He grunts, jaw tensing. "Oh fuck! Oh Honey! Im cumming, fuck! Im cumming!" He cums between moans and curses, pumping load after load of hot and thick cum, his body on top of yours, your face tucked on the crook of his neck, his hand sinking into your hair. Fuck you smell so good, your pussy is milking him so deliciously good, oh fuck.

You stay like this for a moment, or maybe longer, you are not completely sure. Time flows different when you just get fucked into another plane of existence.

"Are you-ah- ok babe?" Jonathon ask, voice cracking.

You chuckle, kissing the side of his neck. "Perfectly Johnny"

"Ok, good! Im gonna, eh, pull out ok?" You nod giving him the get go. Slowly he gets up already missing your embrace. Your body trembles as he slides his cock out and the moment he does a thick trail of cum follows, spilling all the way down. "Oh. Wow. Thats, wow, a lot" He coughs awkwardly, his face feeling hot.

You glance at him from the table, his face red and eyes wide, surely staring at your sore cunt. When your body pumps out the excess of his cum and you whine, you see his lips move, muttering to himself a quiet: "holy shit".

A tiny smile cross your face. "Admiring your work, Doctor Ohnn?"

He clears his throat, clearly embarrased of being caught, like he didnt fuck your brains out just a couple of minutes ago. "I didnt- Its not like that!"

"Really?" You tease him, spreading your legs further.

He bites his lip, eyes darting between your smug face and your dripping pussy. There really is a lot. "M-Maybe I am" He says, defeated.

Your little devilish smile only grows wider. "I like it, Piccaso!" You say in an exagerated manner, twirling your hand.

Jonathon stares at you dumbfounded before wheezing. "Oh! You are the worst! That was terrible!"

"But you are laughing!"

"Cuz its so bad I cant help but laugh!"

You both stare at each other before bursting into laughter.

You are wipping the tears from your eyes when something catches your eyes.

"John?"

"Yeah?" He says, the remains of his laugh on his voice.

"Are you still hard?"

He abruptly stops, body going still.

You prop your torso up, looking down on him. Yep, there it stands, still as hard and angry red, covered on a still wet layer of cum -both his and yours-.

Its your turn to be astonished. You didnt know he was so- pent up.

"John-"

"Its ok!" He cuts you up, pushing his shirt down to cover himself. "I- I will take care of this myself, yes? Later, in the, ehm-In the bathroom. Right now, we should clean you up"

You frown.

Oh.

You dont think so.

Not happening, not today, nu-huh.

Carefully you get down of the table, your legs shaking.

You take a moment to compose yourself, straigthen your body as you lean into him.

"Sit on the chair John"

He blinks at you, confused but a little turn on. "Excuse me?"

Hands on his hips, you guide him towards the chair, pushing him little by little, until his ass is sitting.

"I told you didnt I?" You say, kissing the mole above his lips -the one you like so much- and trail down his neck, leaving little wet kisses as you go. "That I would take good care of you"

"You dont have to-" He mutters, eyes half-closed.

"I want to" You growl against the skin of his neck, sucking his adam's apple and he sobs. "Besides, I cant let you go like this. Can I?" You wrap your hand around his needy cock, it feels hot on your grasp. Jonathon let out a shaky moan, unconsciously bucking his hips. You smile against his neck. "Relax baby, let me make you feel good"

You kneel down, making yourself home in between his legs.

You feel his hot stare on you and sure enough when you look up to see him, his eyes are glued on you, a trembling hand covering his mouth, the other resting on the arm of the chair.

Oh, someone is eager.

Without breaking eye contact, you give his head a tentative lick. He squints his eyes, quietly whinning into his hand.

You smile, toungue tracing down from his head to the bottom of his lenght, licking the cum clean.

"Ooooh" He moans, he must be very senstive, you feel his cock twitching as you go up again, giving the head a little kiss before wrapping it with your lips, sucking just a little, moving your toungue along the slit. "Oh-fuuuuck"

You push his shaft slowly, saliva dripping from the corners of your mouth. You are not used to have him, to feel him so big like this.

The tip is already hitting the back of your throat.

You feel drunk.

Drunk on his smell, on his flavour. Everything is a little too much but at the same time is not enough; You want him, need him, just as much as he does want you.

You can feel yourself getting aroused again, your pussy clenching, missing the shape of his cock.

Like this, you move your head slowly up and down, licking the rest of his cum along. It taste salty, it taste like him.

Jonathon's legs shake, groaning loudly. "Oh God-" The sounds he lets out are so- enticing. You love when he gets vocal, when he lets himself go and be drown on pleasure. You bob your head a little faster, tongue licking, tasting his pre-cum. He throws his head back, hand placed on your head, keeping you from pulling out. You dont mind, you want him to feel good, really good.

You hook your hands on the hem of his pants, tugging them down until they are in the floor, leaving him completely exposed.

Hands rest on his thights, slowly moving to his crotch where you grab his heavy balls, dragging your thumb by the edges. His whole body jolts up, hips bucking, burying his cock deeper inside your mouth, hot tears form in the corner of your eyes.

You let him fuck your face at his own rythm, your hands occupied with his balls, squeezing them, massaging them.

"Oh God- babe!"

Thats right, you think, let yourself go.

You feel his cock twitch, thrust becoming a little faster now.

"Babe-!" He calls you, breathless. "I think Im-"

Oh you can feel how close he is.

You suck harder, faster.

Jonathon shivers, his whole body at flame. You are sucking him so good, he loves to see your pretty lips around his cock, the feeling of your hands tugging and squeezing his already full balls.

God! He wants to cum so badly!

The moment you moan, your mouth so full of his dick that it comes all muffed, its the moment he loses it.

He cums screaming your name, fists full of your hair and hips thrusting hard.

In an instant, your mouth is overflowing his hot cum, its so much its choking you, forcing you to swallow to be able to breathe.

Your own orgasm hits you, its all way too much, so much that your vision goes blurry.

Its only when you feel his hands go limp on your head, that you pull out.

His cock keep twitching as it softens, a string of cum still coming out of the tip.

Your damn jaw feels numb. A small price to pay, you think, if he's able to relax.

"Johnny?" You say, putting your hands on his thights to help you stand up.

"I fucking love you" Its all he says when he meets your eyes. He looks like he just ran a marathon, sweaty and trying to catch his breath. You smile, taking a sit on his leg, moving his hair out of his face. "I love you so-so much"

"I love you too Johnny" You say back, giving a quick kiss. You glance at his work table, a mess within another mess. Papers and tools on the floor, piles of books discarded. You dont even want to see if any of the papers on the floor had been....stained. "Should we...Clean that?"

Jonathon follows your gaze.

He groans, covering his eyes.

"Not today"

#the spot x reader #jonathon ohnn x reader #the spot #the spot atsv #the spot smut #jonathon ohnn #spiderverse #spiderverse smut #my adhd restrains me to write good endings #i will dissapear now #and take a nap #casmo writes

411 notes · View notes

loadreams · 1 year

Text

Everything you need to know about the void state

Hi babes❤️ this is a post about the void state and I hope I can help you to understand it and get into it <3

𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕧𝕠𝕚𝕕 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕖???

The void state is basically a deep meditative state and it’s all about awareness and pure consciousness.

It is you, it is inside you and it is created by you.

I won’t describe how it feels because everyone has a different experience. The void will be what you assume it will… the main thing is leaving the 3D, that means, losing your body senses and being completely formless

The void is compared to the “I am” state described by Neville Goddard, which is basically what the void is about, “Iamness”. They’re the same!!

As a lot of “coaches” like to complicate it, people find it very hard to enter this state because they don’t know the very first thing about it.

The void is so easy to get into and I hope this post can change your view or misconception about it.

𝕎𝕙𝕪 𝕚𝕤 𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕧𝕠𝕚𝕕 𝕤𝕠 𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕥𝕪?

Because it’s a very simple and practical way to get your desires instantly!! You can find a bunch of success stories at this account @voidsuccess

The void state is basically your pure God state, where only the 4D exists

But remember it’s just a way in a million methods to help manifesting(even overnight AND instantly). However, if you’d like to try I can help you!!

𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕧𝕠𝕚𝕕 𝕠𝕗𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕖𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕝

Ok, so you guys are constantly desperate and anxious about getting into the void. THATS COMPLETELY OK!

I know how it feels! However, now is time to let go of that old story of resistance and impatience (stop assuming you have those)!

Take the void off that pedestal and put yourself into it!! Invest on changing your void concept if it helps you; understand that you are above the void AND your desires! The void is just a state which is already within you! Also,there are no BIG or impossible manifestations.

If you’re doing everything right, living in the end, assuming it’s done then why are you so worried? You are in Barbados already!!!

The most expected question

ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕠 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕖?

There is no rule, literally. If it helps,there are a lot of methods, for example: try to relax, find a comfortable position (it DOESNT need to be laying down straight with the belly up). You can do it at anytime, anywhere! Yes, you can do it while having sex or something (there were so many questions about it!!!).

If you feel like it, keep affirming till you make it into the state! Once in the void, affirm/visualize/other normally like you always do. It’s a very common process, no secrets!

Please remember to ignore symptoms!! If your symptoms are different from another blogger, don’t worry, everyone’s experience is different! Also, don’t try desperately to push symptoms, make it natural for you

There are some challenges here that you can set a date to it and spend the days before living in the master void state like this one by @angeltearsxoxo

Also there are subliminals (like @rosellesworkshop and @fleurlx ones, that are making people enter it easily) and guided meditations, like yoga nidra and 61 points. Or literally any other meditation or meditating music (or any music).

You can command your subconscious to take you to the void immediately, lucid dreaming, sleep paralysis, anything you want, the placebo is your mind

Before asking bloggers questions try seeing @sirensplayhouse answers, they have answered thousands of questions about the void and this could be exactly your doubt!

Follow @gorgeouslypink , their blog is basically about the void, everything you need to know, they’ve already talked about! Read this posts if you have any doubt

Whatever you feel like it’s right for you is the way you’ll get into it ❤️❤️

It can be by methods or not, it doesn’t matter

There are so many resources in this platform and others to help you access this state, sorry for not mentioning other bloggers…

𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣?

Yes honey, circumstances don’t matter!!!!

Being in the void is just being pure consciousness!!! What’s hard about it??

I see people saying that they’ve tried many times and couldn’t enter or didn’t “enter completely” (only had symptoms). Remember to persist, you WILL get it and you will wake up to your desired life!!! You can’t give up on manifesting, you’re always doing it!

When you least expect it you’ll be formless and feeling no body senses!! Just like that

If affirming makes you feel more confident about it, then do it! Or anything else, reading success stories, I don’t know, that’s up to you <3

If you always end up falling asleep, you can go sleeping with the intention of waking up in the void or commanding your subconscious to wake you up in the void.

𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕒𝕗𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕠 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖:

❤️ I always enter the void

❤️ Tapping in to the void is so easy to me

❤️ I am void

❤️ I have mastered the void

❤️ I instantly enter the void

❤️ I get into the void effortlessly

❤️ I am a void master

❤️ Sleeping takes me to void

❤️ I always wake up in the void

Or create your own affirmations!

𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕖𝕤! ℍ𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕠𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕥 (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

#loadreamstips #void state #void state affirmations

2K notes · View notes

ramons-elevator · 7 months

Text

As much as I want the eggs back, its gonna be so bittersweet.

We have people like Fit and Foolish who arent letting it get to them. They know their kids are gonna be okay. They will sit and wait and know things will fall into place when need be. Yes they are sad and mourning, but they need to keep a level head and be hopeful.

Then we have everyone else.

We have Bad who is actively hurting himself and doing stuff that will have consequences.

We have the favela 5 who are held with a thin but very strong string of hope. Forever is coming back from a drug overdose, but had to go through horrible things during it. Pac is also coming back down, but lost his soulmate and his home is haunted by things he has done. Mike is kidnapped and there's no trace or clue to where he is. Cellbit has to cure his friends and has the whole island relying on him while also investing the federation to try to figure out what their plan is. And Felps is Felps.

Phil is kidnapped all because he wanted an answer. He wants his kids back. Thats all he cares about. He was mindfucked seeing Chayanne's floatie in the middle of the circle.

Baghera just came back after finding out she was created by the Federation and that she might be the reason her family is stuck here. She also found out that she isnt the only experiment. There were more like her.

Etoiles is constantly fighting the Code and while he is winning and getting more powerful, he was given a task to protect. He already was ready to die for everyone, but now its something he has to do. No matter what.

Can you imagine the eggs coming back? The eggs, who have been for god knows how long, just want their parents and to feel safe come back to their parents who have changed.

Dapper and Pomme coming back to Bad who is littered in blue marks. Dapper knows what Bad has done. They know how much it hurts and how deep Bad's marks are. Pomme not quite understanding how bad it is, but she knows her dad isnt the same.

Richarlyson comes back and is engulfed in a giant hug, but he notices how badly everyone is shaking. He notices how broken his parents are. How tired and worn they all are. He notices how Pac has new scars on his arms. How quiet Forever is. How dull Cellbit's eyes are.

Chayanne and Tallulah coming back to see only Tubbo and Niki. Or they see Phil and engulfed in a giant hug and noticed how tight he holds them. They know Phil is paranoid, but never like this. He doesnt let go of them. His eyes never leave them for a second.

Pomme comes back to see Baghera crying they hug. Pomme can barely hear her mom saying "Im sorry" over and over again. Etoiles joins the hug and he tells her that he failed. He couldnt keep her safe. She has two lives, but now she is cracked.

The eggs just want to come home and feel safe, but now they dont know where safe is

#qsmp #qsmp eggs #qsmp pomme #qsmp dapper #qsmp chayanne #qsmp tallulah #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp cellbit #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp forever #qsmp philza #qsmp baghera #qsmp etoiles #qsmp pac

376 notes · View notes

sad-not-glad · 1 year

Text

We Know Something You Don’t

Pairing: Bucky x pregnant! Reader

Word count: 3415

Warnings: pregnancy symptoms, allusion to birth, tooth-rotting fluff

A/N: the second part to I Know Something You Don’t, This is going to become a series :) reposted, again, from the account I deleted like a stupid mf.

First part: Here

Bucky really was amazed at what the modern world could do now for expecting mothers. He had accompanied you to every doctors appointment and there was a healthy stack of parenting books growing on his bedside table. Everything that the doctor said he soaked in like a sponge, asking so many questions you had to tell him to stop more than once in your so far short pregnancy. They supposed you were only around 10 weeks along so you still had quite a while to go yet.

The best part by far was the ultrasound. Bucky was brought to tears when during your first appointment you both were shown the very first image of your precious little baby. He unashamedly began to brag on his child, praising them for growing so well and being so strong. He wouldn't listen when you told him that it was barely a tiny blob, because that in itself was amazing. One of the pictures now had a permanent place safe inside his wallet.

The one thing that was less than exciting to you both was the idea of telling your team the news. For Bucky it was the fear of judgment and potential for harm if anyone outside of your friend group caught wind of the upcoming child. Your fears revolved around losing your independence. It was bad enough that the team babied you already, you didn't think you could stand it if they got any worse. You valued your independence, and while you were on a leave from missions for the time being you had no intentions to stop your training. Maybe modify things a bit for your new condition, but you really wanted to remain active for as long as possible.

So the both of you kept dancing around the subject. Excuses for why you weren't going on missions, faking dates for doctors appointments, avoiding any situation where alcohol would be involved. Of course you knew that you couldn't hide it forever but it would be nice to adjust to the idea of becoming parents before they overwhelmed you with their own excitement.

Tonight was making that hard though. It was supposed to be a simple, slow evening in which everyone could be lazy and watch TV together. And it had been up until a few minutes ago, when Tony appeared with some kind of new takeout from a place that had recently opened nearby. The food is passed around and you decide on a serving of spicy chicken with rice. It was something you usually loved and you were sure this place would be no different. The first bite was… odd. You chewed slowly, poking at the chicken before cautiously lifting the fork to your mouth again. All at once the spice and smell and texture hit you as you threw down the container and made a mad dash for the kitchen.

“Holy shit-” There's the sound of something being tossed down as footsteps follow you. But that doesnt matter. Not when you're about to blow chunks all over the countertops. With one last strain of effort you launch yourself over the sink as you begin to vomit painfully. Carefully you feel two hands sweep the hair from your face into a makeshift ponytail as cold fingers press against the back of your neck. You heave in a deep breath before hurling again. Tears are streaming down your face and you know there's bile stuck in your hair and to your face, but all you can focus on is getting the sickness out of your system. After several grueling minutes of emptying your stomach you finally felt the nausea fade off.

“Is she okay, Barnes?” That was Tony. Bucky struggled to find an answer to the questioning stares as you heave in deep breaths. “Yeah, she's gonna be okay.” You shake your head softly, glancing back at him with wavering eyes. This was a secret you had to spill, you couldn't hide it any longer. Not from a team filled with assassins and geniuses.

“Buck, tell them”

“Tell us what? What's going on you two?” Bucky takes your still shaking hand into his, nodding softly before turning towards the team littered around the kitchen. “(Y/N) is pregnant.” The silence is deafening and it puts you on edge for a moment before the tension is broken by Steve’s sharp cry of surprise. All hell breaks loose suddenly and you're both swept up and passed between people for long, tight hugs.

“Oh my god, Baby Banres!”

“You’re pregnant?!”

“I'm so happy for you two!!!”

Nobody seemed to mind the mess you had made of yourself as they all took turns hugging and showing you with praises. After a considerable amount of time Bucky managed to pry you from Natasha’s tight hold, slightly take aback by the reaction to such a simple sentence. But it wasnt simple, your entire life was going to be changing drastically in the next year. You beamed up at him, simply glowing after being showered in so much affection. And he was so ready to start to journey with you at his side.

Bucky was sure that he was going to die right there in the stiff hospital chair he sat in. The doctor’s kind words flew right over his head and the only thought in his mind was that she had said this baby was a little girl. A daughter, he was going to have a little baby princess with you. A little girl with your soft hair and striking eyes, listening to her giggles as her Daddy dotes on her, heading her call him Daddy. That alone was what broke the dam of his eyes, allowing the tears to fly freely over his cheeks. By now the doctor had left you alone and you were already sitting up on the bed.

“Sweetheart?” He turned to you, opening his mouth to respond but coming up short. Your expression melted as you reached out and pulled him forward into your arms. He gripped tightly to you, overwhelmed with the pure love flowing through his veins. He had no idea what he had done along the way to deserve this, but god Bucky would do anything to keep his little family safe. After the tears slow he finally looks up at you, sniffing as you wipe the dampness from his face. “Its a girl?” You nod softly and he chokes on another sob as it becomes so much more real. He held tightly to you as together you celebrated in the news of your upcoming daughter.

Upon returning from your appointment the tower was suspiciously quiet. Nobody in the communal area, nobody on the floor you stayed in with Bucky and Steve, and nobody inside your little shared space. Bucky was too caught up in admiring the new pictures of your baby to notice but you immediately took note of the striking silence that lingered everywhere you went. After shedding your shoes and coat you pulled out your phone, checking for a text from anyone really. Nothing. You called Tony, no answer. And then Natasha, and again no answer. By now your nerves were standing on edge and you couldn’t ignore the creeping feeling in your gut.

“Bucky, where is everyone?” He looks up from the photo held tightly in his hands to you in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“The tower is empty. I-“

You paused, trying to think of any reason the entire team would disappear like this. After finding none you sighed, finally calling out to the AI within the walls for some help . “FRIDAY, where is everyone?”

“I’m afraid I’m not permitted to say, Ms Barnes. I can tell you they will be returning in around half an hour though.” Bucky now looked just as confused as you did. But for now it seemed the only thing you could do was wait, so you did just that. Half an hour passed, then an hour, and then two. The day was crawling towards the evening and still with no word from anyone the anxiety began to run high. It was nearly 8pm when finally FRIDAY announced you and Bucky were being asked to join the team in the conference room.

Bucky held the door open for you to enter and you jumped in surprise as several loud pops sounded and you were both showered with confetti.

“Surprise!”

The room was decorated from floor to ceiling, filled with pastel colors and various baby-themed decorations. You can’t help the tears that flood your eyes at the display of your team’s love for you and your husband. “Guys, what is all this?” Bucky steps forward, gently wrapping his arm over your shoulders as you take a really good look around. It’s absolutely beautiful, with just the right amount of tacky to make it funny and cute. “It’s your baby shower, silly! You didn’t think you were going to have a kid and not let up spoil them rotten, did you?” Tony laughs, pulling you forward into his arms as he pats your back. One by one both you and Bucky receive a tight hug from everyone before you’re being led to sit at the head of the table.

One by one each person presents you with an array of gifts for your unborn child. Clint provides you with a surplus of diapers and wipes, Natasha gifts you a set of avenger themes onesies she found and a pump, Sam gives you a giant teddy bear in a falcon uniform that was holding a basket of clothes, and so on and so forth. After two full hours of unwrapping presents and being blown away by the generosity of the people who loved you, both you and Bucky were surrounded by piles of baby gear. Ranging in variety from cribs and diapers to toys they wouldn’t be able to play with for years to come. Despite the fatigue seeping down into your bones you just couldn’t pull the smile from your face. Things were finally calming down as everyone split into groups and chatted amongst themselves while snacking from the small buffet provided by Tony. Bucky gently pulled you closer to his side, guiding your head to rest on his shoulder as you soaked in the moment. It was strikingly normal, almost in a funny way. These were the avengers, earth's mightiest heroes. And they were all bouncing with excitement over a baby that wasn’t even born yet. Your baby. The thought made your smile stretch even wider as you observed the love everyone held for your child.

“You getting tired, mama?” The new pet name made your heart skip a beat, he had taken to calling you that lately. With a subtle nod you shifted your gaze up to him, smiling despite the exhaustion settling over your mind. “Yeah, I’m pretty pooped. Do you think they would be offended if we went to bed?” He chuckled, shaking his head as he moved a piece of your hair away from your face. “I don’t really care. If the baby needs sleep then that’s what the baby gets. Let’s go, sweet thing.” As he gently helped you raise from the chair everyone’s eyes turned, conversations stilling. “You two heading up to bed?” He nods, wrapping his arms around you as a means of support. You hadn’t realized how truly tired you were until now as you fought to keep your eyes open while you swayed on your feet. “Yeah, (Y/N) needs the sleep right now. Thank you guys for this, really. It’s… more than I expected, it’s amazing. Thank you.”

There are several mumbles of goodnight and no problem as he leads you to the door, making your way back to your room and your oh-so-sweet bed that is calling your name loudly right now. The elevator ride up was short and you were asleep the moment you laid down, not even changed out of your clothes for the day. Bucky took a moment to kneel by your side, eyes drifting slowly over your face down to the swollen bump in your midsection. Carefully he reached out and ran his fingers over your exposed skin as the little girl inside got the sleep she deserved. ‘My girls’ he thought to himself with a small smile.

By now you were nearly 30 weeks along in your pregnancy. Tony had helped set up a nursery space for you both and it was bursting at the seams with toys and clothes for your child. You told the team about the gender several weeks ago and they all celebrated greatly at the news of a baby girl joining them. You sweat that Steve cried but he very much denies it every time you mention how his eyes misted over. Today was surprisingly slow, half the team gone on various missions and political trips which left the tower quiet and peaceful for once. You were enjoying the silence by laying on the couch in the living room, dazing in and out of sleep and Bucky filed away some paperwork for the team he was now supervising. Instead of doing active field missions he elected to take a backseat, now mostly filling out papers and instructing his team on how to conduct their own missions. You were just about to slip back into your dreamless slumber when a strong tap against your navel made you gasp. Bucky turned in mild alarm, tossing down his pen to give you his full attention from where he sat next to you on the floor.

“(Y/N), you okay?” You shrug, hand sliding down to cover the spot your daughter had just elbowed. She was usually asleep this time of day so it surprised you to feel such a prominent shove against your insides. “Yeah, baby is just moving a little-“ your sentence breaks off into a sharp cry of shock as you pull your hand away from your bump. Now Bucky is very worried, sitting up next to you and inspecting your body closely for signs of harm. “What’s wrong?” Instead of answering you rush to grab his hand, pressing it firmly where yours had been only moments before. A few second pass in silence before-

Bump

Now it was Bucky’s turn to gape in surprise, staring down at his hand where his daughter had kicked him for the first time. “Did you feel that?!” Your voice is brimming with excitement as you also watch your stomach carefully. Before Bucky can respond there’s another, softer tap against his palm. He chokes on his laugh, head swiveling to catch you in a joyful kiss.

“She kicked me, (Y/N)!” You nod, holding his face as he laughs with glee. He pauses after a moment before springing to his feet and grabbing up his phone. “Bucky?”

“I have to tell Steve!” He rushes from the room to call his best friend, who is probably halfway across the world asleep right now. But his excitement is contagious and you giggle as you watch him pace the room before the blonde answers.

“Steve, you’ll never guess what. She kicked me! Yeah I know, it’s great isn’t it? She was so strong too, such a little fighter already-“

Slowly you settled back into the couch, letting your eyes drift closed as you listened to Bucky brag about your child and all of her capabilities thus far, no doubt in your mind about his fatherly love. Your daughter was already the center of his entire universe. You fell asleep to his warm voice and images of your baby girl floating through your mind.

It was nearly 3 am, and you felt absolutely miserable. Braxton hicks had been keeping you awake all night and no matter how you tossed and turned about you just couldn’t seem to get comfortable. Bucky had no issue, snoring like a brick beside you as you languished about your condition. You loved your baby so much but you couldn’t wait for her to finally arrive. Your body was always aching from the added weight you were carrying and you were always bloated and cranky. With a sigh you shuffled to sit up in the bed, freezing in place when there’s a soft pop that comes from inside you and a gush of fluids between your legs. Your mind is reeling, mostly mortified that you had managed to have an accident in the bed. Your good luck could only last so long. Slowly you shifted your weight so you could stand and walk to the bathroom in order to clean up, stopping suddenly as an intense pain seizes through your abdomen. It takes you off guard and steals your breath, leaving you gasping for air as the pain subsides. These weren’t Braxton hicks, they were contractions. You had been in labor, apparently. Without giving it much thought you blindly reached backwards, smacking your husband in the face clumsily in an effort to wake him up. It works as he bolts into a sitting position with a small shout of confusion. After a moment to gather himself he looks over, noticing the grimace in your face and the way your holding tightly to your midsection. His eyes blow wide as the realization strikes him. “Are you…?”

“In labor? Yes, yes Bucky I am. Would you mind helping?” Your voice is strained, panicked even, and that’s all it takes for him to spring into action. Within five minutes he had you changed into new pajamas and gathered all the bags that had been packed over a month ago, despite not really being needed. After all, Tony had paid to have specialized doctors live-in at the tower over the last month in preparation for this very moment. The tense silence of the elevator ride is broken by your sharp hiss of pain as another contraction rips through you. Helen and the delivery nurse are waiting for you when the doors open, courtesy of FRIDAY. You make a mental note to thank the AI for her kindness later. Everything happens so quickly after that. You’re helped into a hospital gown and set up in a room. The delivery doctor arrives to check your progress and before the hour is up you’re told it’s time to push. Bucky has one arm anchored around your shoulders, the other held tightly in your hand as you mentally prepare yourself for what was about to take place.

One by one the team arrives at the waiting room, everyone having been notified of your labor and progression into birth. There’s little conversation as they wait and watch the clock tick on. The sun has risen across the horizon and breakfast had long passed by the time a nurse came to get them. Before entering the room she instructs them to stay quiet, explains that both you and the baby were sleeping after such a long delivery. The door opens to reveal your sleeping figure on the bed, sweaty hair stuck to your face and cheeks flushed from the strain you had gone through. Seated next to you is Bucky, a tiny bundle of blankets cuddled closely in his arms. He’s completely enamored by the little life, not even noticing the arrival of his friends and family. All his attention is focused on the baby girl in his arms, her chubby cheeks and dark curls. A spitting image of her father.

“Hey, we brought some food for you guys.” Steve sets the takeout on the hospital tray as the team crowds around the chair. All of them are fighting for a change to look at the sleeping child held safely against her father’s chest. Bucky finally takes notice of his company, flashing a blinding smile as he gently lifts the little girl in his arms. Everyone visibly melts at the sight of her, sleeping so peacefully after such a dramatic entrance to the world.

“She’s perfect.” Several nods and words of agreement are shared around before Wanda speaks up. “What’s her name?” That was one thing you had elected to keep a secret. Bucky’s smile softens as he carefully readjusts the sleeping miracle in his arms. “Her name is Rebecca Natalia Barnes. Named after two of the strongest women I’ve ever known.” Nat meets his eyes, her own wet with tears. She gives him a small nod and he smiles in return as his gaze turns back to his precious daughter. “A perfect name for a perfect girl.”

#bucky barnes #bucky imagine #bucky x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #james bucky buchanan barnes #marvel #the avengers #bucky fluff #bucky fanfic #bucky x you #bucky x pregnant!reader #pregnant #pregnant reader #avengers

783 notes · View notes

hwsing · 23 days

Note

hi hi hi! i’d love to request america for the nsfw alphabet (if you want to!!!) please and thank you!

america nsfw alphabet

notes: 18+, reader is gender neutral and includes both bottom and top reader. includes: america (alfred f. jones). as always, reblogs are appreciated!

cws: me yapping as always; alfred is a bit weird but nice, creampies, roleplay, vibrators, switch! alfred. wc: about 1.7k words. not really proof read.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

generally speaking — alfred is a wee bit dense, and so i dont think he’s the type to go above and beyond everytime, especially at first; unless you give him some specifics to work with, he’s going to provide some stuff like water food etc a shower if you want, cuddles, just general decompressing. he’ll usually ask how you’re doing as a check in, but he’s not overly inclined to pressing if you don’t say you need something hdhddh. whatever you want is yours though!! he is a sweetie deep down and is Very prone to being. ahem. whipped

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on himself…. the general shoulder/arm region. i dont think hes particularly buff bc i dont think hes even remotely consistent with exercise but, yk those guys that like. hit the gym for six weeks and suddenly are almost ripped? he’s like that,,, just his genetics so no matter what he looks a lil beefy, esp with how much he eats. he likes how big/strong he looks

on his partner, it’s cheesy, but he’d *always* say eyes or your smile. your eyes preferably when you’re smiling, really! even if it’s from you scoffing at something stupid hes doing. what can i say he got the hopeless romantic trait from arthur

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i Must be honest. his cum does not taste particularly good. and he cums A LOT like … i think he’s quite into creampies because he really does have the necessities to make it happen. his favourite places to cum: your mouth/face, makes him flustered to see you have to lick it off

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

this was hard because i don’t think he keeps many secrets about this, and he isn’t overly kinky to begin with. i would say that maybe he can be a bit of a creep? he’s just very enamoured by his partner and fantasies a lot, which leads to him mentally sexualizing his partner. you can argue that’s just being horny, but he feels creepy whenever he realizes he’s staring at your ass or down your shirt.

by extension, he doesn’t usually have the balls to steal your underwear but if your laundry is out in the open in any way and you aren’t in the room…………….. you cannot blame him for touching them and taking a sniff okay?

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

in our day and age? definitely a good amount of experience. i dont think he’s quite as experienced as he may seem, which embarrasses him on the low but he compensates with his outrageous confidence anyways. by no means close to a virgin though. he still gets around

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

okay so he might say reverse cowgirl but in reality it’s missionary doesnt matter if he’s top or bottom. he just thinks its a lame answer. side note, he loves to hold hands during missionary.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

YOU ALREADY KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW.. he can be more serious (especially if roleplay is involved, he gets oddly invested…) but for the most part he really really really just wants you n him to have a good time so he’ll put a lot of pressure on himself to be entertaining

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he trims and washes well but basically never shaves down there. he will if you ask but he just prefers to keep it trimmed and let it be for the most part. isn’t insanely hairy anyways though

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

alfred values the intimacy of sex quite a bit to be honest. he may not showcase this if you two aren’t close yet, but if you are, it’s so obvious how much he loves you. he’ll say it a lot too when you two are at that level — he borderline worships you in the bedroom honestly. he’s just kinda obsessed and cherishes the relationship he has with you DEEPLY

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

i really do believe he had a small addiction at one point. not much to say about that so let’s move on… back in prime playboy days he absolutely read them and other lewd magazines; nowadays, he’s actually a bit more imaginative because i think in recent years he’d pick up the belief that most visual porn on like pornhub and sites of that nature tend to be exploitative. so, he tends to break out some music and get it done. he usually doesn’t get particularly horny unless prompted, so, he can find something to think of with ease.

kind of sucks at masturbating though. he’s horrible at pacing himself, and ends up edging himself accidentally a few times because he gets too close too soon and he has to back off immediately. his poor dick is not cared for well…

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

i’ve already talked about some obvious ones throughout this alphabet, but another that randomly comes to mind is roleplay. he can feel a bit cringe about it but if he’s in the headspace he can get SO into it. obviously hero roleplay where you should reward him for saving you from the bad guy; he’d humbly dismiss the idea like a good hero, but he’s certainly not complaining when you tug down his pants and suck the life out of him in thanks!!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

house/apartment, doesn’t matter where too much but in the privacy of your own space is what he prefers. would question god what he did to deserve it if he EVER got caught with his pants down so he’d just… prefer to keep it safe

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

so easily turned on it’s not even funny. i don’t think his sex drive is super high and sometimes it can feel a bit random — he’s just. So attracted to his partner. he’s losing the idgaf war every. single. day.

there’s the obvious — you bend over to pick something up, your lounge clothes are revealing, you eat something creamy; but, sometimes, it’s just your smile or you fixing up your clothes after they shift. it just gets him thinking…. unholy things….. he wishes he wasn’t so easy but, if you like to initiate, it’s very rare that it doesn’t immediately get him in the mood.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

not really an orgy kinda guy

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

https://www.tumblr.com/hwsing/716154815799066624/giving-head

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends a lot of his partner’s preferences to be honest, but generally, middle ground of rough/slow and deep. he’ll speed up and get messy as he gets close when he tops. if he’s bottoming, he prefers slow and gentle or mind numbingly rough and fast depending on the kinda day he had. sex in general can be a productive way for him to burn off stress!!

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not a quickie lover but is a quickie truther. sometimes they’re just what’s most convenient, especially during busy times of the year for him when he’s trapped working. you’ll *know* how much he misses you, though, with the needy texts you’ll receive.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

not as much as you’d probably expect but he’s still quite experimental! he can just feel a bit embarrassed/shy experiencing or doing something new in front of someone, especially if you already are knowledgeable/have done said thing, but he’ll put on his big boy pants and manage.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

as long as you need, and after. doesn’t last all that long himself unless he tries really hard to pace himself, but his recovery time is terrifying.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

i have a hard time imagining he owns one himself, but he’s most certainly down to incorporate them, whether he has to buy them or you already own them. i think he’s particularly fond of vibrators (simple but he quite likes what he can turn you into with them!) and butt plugs

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

over all, i dont think i’d consider him a particularly big tease. he has his moments, but i think it’s more likely *you’re* the one teasing him, even if you don’t mean to be. his teasing would usually come from you being flustered or easily aroused, because not only is it cute to him, but a massive ego boost to him. win win!

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

so sorry if you have a roommate and you guys do it at your place because boy is he ever LOUD he triessss not to sort of not really but he really cannot help it. will not and cannot stop yapping, let alone the *sounds* he makes — so much moaning and groaning and blah blah.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

has sneezed when he was yanking it and it was the most uncomfortable orgasm he can ever imagine

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

a shower, 7” long 6” girth he’s thicc, notably veiny but nothing overpowering. slightly curved. safe to say he’s quite satisfied with his package.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

not particularly high. he usually needs a reason to be turned on — however, once he has a partner, suddenly a reason is often presenting itself…..

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

usually won’t fall asleep fast unless it’s past his bedtime already. just doesn’t tire very easily.

#my work #hetalia #aph hetalia #hetalia hc #hetalia x reader #hetalia headcanons #hws hetalia #america x reader #aph america #alfred f jones #alfred f jones x reader #aph america x reader

73 notes · View notes

lavender--fairy · 2 years

Text

Why do you 'fail'?

Short answer: because you give up the desired state of mind (aka: belief) and go back to your "confort zone" where you cultivate your old patterns of thoughts and feelings.

Have you noticed how, when you start any LOA method how you feel full of excitment, all happy and almost blissful? Because in that moment, even if it may be a short one: you understand your power and you use it! ... and often, after a day or two you feel low again and forget it. And then you re-start the old habitual loop: may it be seeking a "new miracle" method or a new miracle book or a guru.

This habit is in fact you giving up your own power and subconsciously it is telling "it must be some other way because that way that I have will not work". The fact is that almost all ways work if you just stick to one and refuse to shift your energy back to negative, old, habitual one. YOU HAVE TO STICK TO IT! You have to use the power of will and refuse to give up: NO MATTER WHAT YOUR MIND WILL MAKE AS EXCUSE! Because the mind is very good at that, very convincing! Because it is the old habitual state of mind (belief) protecting itself.

No matter what proof/evidence your mind shows you and say "stop it" or "change it" or read another book, or "find something else"... jus't dont!! The mind makes the same excuses when you meditate: it will make all its possible to make you think or do something while you try to meditate. LEARN TO DIRECT YOUR MIND. Do the method for as long days you decided to do! After a month in general it will become automatic. Your desired state will be "normal" and effortless.

If you start a new method or if you have already started one (mine or from neville or abraham or anyone...) do it fully for a month at least! Even if the method is incorrect/bad (and probably it is not) at least you will build an habit of determination.

YOU DONT NEED A NEW BOOK, YOU DONT NEED A NEW COURSE, YOU DONT NEED A NEW TEACHER, YOU DONT NEED A NEW METHOD YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW TO MANIFEST WHAT YOU WANT: YOU NEED TO PRACTICE WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW WITHOUT CHANGING THE DIRECTION OF the MIND EVERY SING DAY.

chose a goal/state of mind

chose a method/technique to accomplish that goal

the mind will fight to make you stop it or change it, or seek something else

just ignore it and refocus and remember why you started the practice: remember that you cannot fail if you follow the method

keep doing it, keep strong, keep ignoring everything that is opposite to your goal even if you feel like it doesnt work

you have gave up here or

the new state of mind feels natural

goal accomplished.

ps: don't take this strictly as a rule, but your effort will look something like that. The key is to not let your mind convince you that only the actual reality is "reality". Thats only the old state of mind protecting its own life and survival. And no matter what evidence is there to support it: understand that it is created by the old state of minde: the new evidence and new reality will be there after the step 8 (as said above)

cr:Allismind

#lavendiary #manifesting #manifestation #law of assumption #master manifestor #motivation #neville goddard #loa blog #loa motivation #loa methods #loa #law of manifestation #law

2K notes · View notes

heademptie · 29 days

Text

Ghoap x Comms!Reader continued...

Reader avoids Ghost as much as they can, not wanting to stir things up more than they already have, but they're only successful because Ghost allows it. And Ghost only allows it so he can better observe them. He's tried pulling strings, using his rank and reputation to try and find out more about reader. But it comes up short. He gets access to their file, but its all fluff inside, lots of it confidential or just blank. Their name isnt even on the file, just the callsign (to keep reader anonymous) Laswell gave out. He asked her too, but she didn't have the answers he wanted.

"Tell me about them." "Not much to tell, I'm afraid. Why? You think they're a threat?" "Don't know yet." "Should I be worried, Ghost?" He pauses, thinking it over. But Laswell knows well enough, that if there was a threat, Ghost wouldn't hesitate. So she sighs and hands over the lackluster file. "They work behind the scenes, no field record. They were brought here-" Her voice drowns out with information Ghost already knows, the extent of Laswells knowledge on the matter. On first glance the file looks fine, personal information left blank or blacked out, a brief service record. Nothing in the field, like Laswell said, but a few listings for assistence with signal decoding. But most of their work is as a mundane office drone, 'A temp,' Ghost thinks amused.

So he skulks around base and observes.

Johnny is confused. He's been able to read Ghost for some time now, their connection and dynamic so intertwined, so in tune with each other, thriving since Las Almas. He notices almost immediately, the sudden hostility and caution Ghost displays on base, it takes him a bit longer to find the target.

He tries to ask outright, of course he does because why wouldn't Ghost talk to him, but he gets shut down. A gruff response. "Don't know what you're talking about Johnny."

Soap pushes, of course, but he gets repeatedly shut out. He moaps a bit, like a kicked puppy, before he catches on to who has made Ghost like this. He's surprised when he cathes the critical look of Ghost when Reader walks by, and he doesnt miss the quick glance they flick over Ghost. Then that glance jumps to him and reader gives a small smile and nod, one that looks a little too nervous to be oblivious to Ghost's scrutiny.

So he finds them the next evening, Reader is leaving tomorrow, going back to wherever they were before, so they went out for a drink. He slides up next to them easily, and gives a bright, syrup sweet smile to ease into things. Reader is a bit tense to begin with but relaxs just a bit once conversation starts. Soap starts slow and vague, idle chat morphing into talking about readers time on base before eventually reaching his desired point of discussion.

Immediately, the mood shifts. Reader is subtle with it, smile becoming a little tighter at the corners, and eyes scanning over him with an increased intensity. They play dumb, not lying to him but repeating his words, asking thier own questions, faux confusion furrowing their brows.

'They're good at this,' Johnny thinks as reader gives another vague answer, easing him in the direction to make a false assmunption. He's not mad, a little annoyed, but mostly he thinks that they're clever. 'Maybe this is why Simon is suspicious,' reader is still on guard, but as Johnny relaxes into the back and forth, so do they. Its like a game now. 'A simple desk worker shouldn't be this good'.

The night comes to an end and Johnny insists on walking them back to base. He'll bring it up to Ghost again, mention how reader easily navigated the pseudo interrorgation, get him to talk. Its on the walk back that reader looks over to Soap, eyes kind yet critical and sighs. He looks over and reader offers a smile. Theres something in that smile he doesnt have the chance to decipher before they've caught him off guard.

"It's his business to tell you what's going on. I don't want to step on any more toes, especially since im out of here in a few hours."

Soap goes to ask more, opens his mouth, ready to launch into his questions, eager to finally get answers. But they put a hand on his shoulder and he falters.

"But for gods sake just tell him already."

He's confused, but the look they give speaks volumes. Oh. Oh. Johnny understands now. The hostility, the caution, the observation. Just as they saw through Johnny and cupped his weakness in their gentle hold, they had done the same to Simon.

Oh. This is...

Reader is gone the next day, as was expected, but Ghost is only slighty eased, and Soap finds himself a little on edge. It's not till weeks later, with readers voice nagging at him with that kind exasperation, that Soap (a little liquored up) is in Ghosts barrack.

They're shouting at each other, fear turning into misplaced anger before it goes quiet in the small room. They're both breathing heavy, Ghost, Simon in this moment, breaks it.

"I'll kill anyone who hurts you. And I'd be pleased to." He follows closely, closing the gap until uncovered hands grasp Johnny's face, as gentle as Simon can manage. "If you're mine, no one, no one, can touch you." Johnny is thrilled.

As the sun rises, the two are twisted together in the sheets of Ghosts too small bed, Johnny wears a tooth rotting smile. They think, seperately, offhandedly, that they really should thank that too clever reader.

#call of duty #cod #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #john soap mactavish x simon ghost riley #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mactavish #ghoap x reader #fanfic #comms!reader #im liking this the more i write #definately gonna be some retcons if this turns into a full fledged fic #im just having fun #brain rot

97 notes · View notes

pocketramblr · 4 months

Note

Absolutely love your writing for all the AU/5 headcanons asks. Can I ask: AU where Rei cheats on Endeavor with All Might? It happens after AM's injury, so she doesn't recognize him, and he ofc doesn't know that she's married in the first place, much less to whom

you make this very difficult for me by giving me a window of 6 and half years for them to have an affair and for every single moment of that window, Rei is institutionalized. how am i supposed to get them to meet, much less take their clothes off. ok. think. there are other fic writers who specialize in this kind of thing, surely. what would they do....

1- ok so. The fire alarm at the hospital goes off. Rei doesn't know if it's a drill or not, but she's been there for seven years and generally does not need a lot of support during something like this like other patients do, so the nurses wave her out and she stands around outside a bit waiting for the fire alarm to stop and them to go back in. (It isn't a drill, they wouldn't have evacuated everyone if it was, but Rei is on the other side of the building and facing away from seeing any smoke) (This smoke is from a villain attack that All Might is taking care of, though he's only got seconds left of his power to use that day. he quickly rushes off, deflating and stumbling out on the other side of the hospital. Where Rei is.)

2- Rei is like "huh that guy doesnt seem to be in good shape" and kinda waves attention at him, and a nurse who's passing out water to patients and keeping an eye on the road gives Toshinori some too, getting more concerned when he dazedly answers that he's All Might and coughs up blood, but the nurse figures he's concussed since he smells of smoke and must have been closer to the fight, and is just reeling from being able to see the number one hero in person. Then they get distracted and wave Toshi to wait nearby, where Rei offers to chill his water and asks if he's alright, if he breathed in any smoke.

3- They chat and then go back into the hospital as it's un-evacuated together, Rei hanging out in the lobby where he sits as the hospital staff focus on getting everyone else back to their rooms. It pays to be low priority sometimes. Eventually she tells him her name is Rei and that she's in room K18, if he ever wants to visit or call. She doesn't get to talk to anyone except doctors, family visitors, or other paitients, and most of them don't stay nearly as long as she does. It's been seven years, and she's very lonely. Toshinori is lonely too, and when he's out of time for a day and feeling useless with nothing to do, he likes to talk to a friend.

4- Rei has been in the hospital for eight years when it gets physical. At that point, Toshinori knows a bit about her family. She has kids, mentions visits from a son and daughter, and then quietly mentioned when her son turned seventeen- her daughter's already twenty. She's been there for so much of their lives. He asks if she's married, and she admits she isn't sure how to file for divorce in a hospital like she is, if she even can, if she wants to because she'd lose custody, if it matters when she's not raising them anyway. He doesn't ask much more, knows there is a dead child and a baby she says isn't safe with her there. Toshinori never called Nana 'mom' to her face while she was alive, and had a reason for it, and has a similar reason for not asking more, not asking for the other names when he gets Fuyumi and Natsuo's. Yes, the doctors and nurses all know Rei has a boyfriend who visits. they don't say anything. who would they even tell, anyway. I debated the humor of reusing the bit from candlelight shoto that Toshi and Rei could have a kid with a fire quirk, but yeah here? Rei ain't getting pregnant, absolutely not.

5- When Natsuo turns eighteen, Rei does actually file for divorce, or at least tries to get the ball rolling on that. Toshinori's trusted her that her marriage is over in all but name, but he's more at ease with it ended fully. Fuyumi is crushed but burying it all deep inside. Natsuo is like 'what are you talking about. divorce is the most normal possible outcome here.' But anyway, Rei also begins to bring up being discharged- something she never bothered with earlier, when it seemed like she'd never be able to go home while Shoto was there, and never would want to go back anyway. (Her parents are absolutely not an option either so where would she go once discharged? the hospital was her only security.) Toshinori then tells her at this point about his diagnosis, that he's supposed to be terminal, in a way. He doesn't have a lot of time he can give her. Rei says that's ok, she'll take what she can get. She moves in. Fuyumi still goes out to eat with her once a week, though Rei doesn't say she's moved in with a boyfriend, just says she's in a safe place and it's not Fuyumi's job to worry about it, please, let her do that, relax, be her daughter instead of a mother. Natsuo adds her to his cellphone plan and gets her one. Rei doesn't tell Toshinori her ex's identity. Toshinori doesn't tell her about OfA, though she does know he's mentoring a student for heroics and is very proud of him. (Toshinori is a secretary at Might Tower, he's a great mentor. Oh huh, he got a job position at UA at the same time as All Might, she wonders if they carpool.)

+1- OK THE REVEAL so the reveal is. Toshinori gets home from the SF. And Rei almost knocks him out by the door, eyes wide and panicked, asking if he's ok, if Shoto's ok. Toshinori is like "... young todoroki? yeah he's alright? i know his fight with young bakugo looked bad but- Rei???" And that's when it all clicks for him, he's having dozens of horrible realizations at once, all while Rei weeps over her youngest. Toshinori's been a hero for a very, very long time. He's felt hopeless, before. But even then, he's known what needs to be done, he just isn't able to do it. But now? he's at a complete loss with no idea what he should do.

#quick poll here. um. do we think shoto knows his parents are divorced #because i mean theres a lot of things he doesnt know about his family that he should #its not like they're really talking at that point #on the other hand. would enji have told him out of frustration for him clinging to his ice when rei left them?#basically. which one is funnier #Shoto going 'mom divorced you??? OH HELL YEAH GOOD FOR HER IM ONLY USING ICE TO CELEBRATE THAT i mean i know she hates me sure she should.#as long as she isn't tied to YOU anymore either we are going down hand in unlovable hand old man!!!'#or #shoto having no idea of the divorce and so when the truth comes out #either from toshinori or rei #hes like 'HELL YEAH YOUVE BEEN CHEATING ON DAD WITH ALL MIGHT???? HIGH FIVE MOM THATS THE BEST POSSIBLE REVENGE DABI WISHES HE'D #ORCHESTRATED THIS BUT HE NEVER HAD THE CREATIVITY TO!!! wait what do you mean its not cheating anymore because youre divorced'#these tags are funny because wow theres a lot of yikes and heavy stuff in the main post. ah ha ha. ah.#pocket talks to people #ask game #anon

141 notes · View notes

vesora · 5 months

Note

hello vesora. i find your account name very lovely bc in japanese it means sky🙂

i haven’t sent in an ask to any account in awhile, so i’m hoping you can point me in the direction or provide some clarifications. ever since learning all is a seeming appearance- just no-thing, my dreams have been erratic. i dream multiple if not twenty times a night. it’s as if i spend years in a dream, just to wake up into this seeming life. it has helped me realize that there is no difference between a dream and the waking life. it is so bizarre yet intriguing. now, i have established (in my experiences) that there is no physical. only the seeming appearance of it.

i travel to all types of places within my awareness and there is one i frequent the most. a “dream life” if you will. since there is absolutely no-thing, it means that the appearance of my current life as well as the dream life are both non-existence. they share no differences, only oneness. i do understand that the identification with the illusionary senses is what hinders people, so with that said may i ask: how does one go about ridding one appearance to only gaze upon another? for clarification i mean how may i put an end to this old life, and to only bask in the new?

i have inquired upon this question a bit, and from what i understand- since there is no-thing, there is nothing to get rid of or stop. there’s nothing actually happening, only the seeming appearance of it. so as long as THAT does not take the illusionary life to be THAT, (but it also is? that’s where i get messed up) so it is. the old life is seemingly gone, and replaced with the new, as for THAT everything is instant. i have waltzed with this for a bit, and this is going to sound so ironic. but there is no change within the illusionary senses. there is no reason to doubt when abiding in Self, but sometimes this culmination of thoughts and personalities does doubt and become scared- because there is no difference to them. but i hope that does not matter, because the difference is already there for THAT.

my question reminds me of the seeming experience i have been having with dreams. there is no ridding of the dreams, it does that by itself. i honestly do not know what i was about to ramble about.

i hope i come across as coherent. i’ve followed you for awhile, and this is actually my first ask ever! thank you for your time, and i cannot wait to hear your thoughts!

hey love,

thank you firstly!

you seem to understand this intellectually and thats always the first step! the reason you dont 'see' it is because whilst you believe that you are Self and everything is an illusion, you don't know it yet. theres still a fear of completely letting go and surrendering in case it doesnt work out.

so as long as THAT does not take the illusionary life to be THAT, (but it also is? that’s where i get messed up) so it is. the old life is seemingly gone, and replaced with the new, as for THAT everything is instant.

The illusory life is a part of you, therefore you, but it is not what you are whereas the illusory life has no existence apart from You. You will notice when there's not a want for different things, 'things' appear instantly or faster than 'previously observed'. That's because One is observing 'things' from a place of already being Whole. There is no want for anything and no desire, You just are and if you want, you can choose a different movie.

If I didn't answer this well, let me know.

#asks

90 notes · View notes

sakura-hayashii · 4 months

Text

12.30.23 - 2:22 pm

" “you know that he loved you right? he still does. hes gone insane, and youre the only one who can fix him.” he tells me. i look up from the book im reading and come face to face with the former best friend of my ex. “yeah. i know, and i still love him too; i always will. but that doesnt matter, it doesnt change anything. staying with him wont fix him or fix us.” i respond as i get up to leave. the relationship had ended 5 months ago. i was tired of everyone telling me the same thing. it wasnt my job to fix or save him, i had made the mistake of trying already. “but that doesnt make any sense. i dont get how it doesnt matter. what do you mean it doesnt change anything? why did you break up with him? why is he like this?” he blurts out. i freeze as all the memories of our 9 months together flood my mind. no one else bothered to ask why it happened, let alone ask what had happened. i have always hated telling people about my problems. ever since i was young i have preferred to take on other peoples problems than to let others help me with mine. i sit down and look him in the eyes. “i left because he didnt love himself. he believed so strongly he was a bad person; that he was always the bad guy. he kept telling himself that he was the guy who destroyed everything good, and that he didnt deserve my love. he wouldnt even let himself be happy. he believed that every time he got what he finally wanted, it never stayed around for long because he would end up ruining everything. he always told me that everything he touched breaks, dies, leaves, or eventually hates him. he was so convinced that happiness didnt have a place in his life. he was stuck on things that no one blamed him for, no one but his own damn self.” i answer. “okay… so he has his flaws. that still doesnt answer why loving him doesnt matter and why it cant fix him. and it doesnt answer why you gave up. you never give up.” he states, regardless of not being close, he knew that i never give up on things. i never left until the person i was fighting for had finally got what i believed they deserved, good and bad. "

- S.H. // the things he destroyed. (part 1 of 2) (via unwrittenstories)

(based on a real toxic relationship that i went through)

79 notes · View notes

marvelstars · 7 months

Text

I can go anywhere I want just not home: Ahsoka and Anakin

So my favourite part of the chapter was the way the actual ages of Ahsoka and Anakin played a part in their interaction, Ahsoka tells Anakin that he looks the same and Anakin answered that she looks old, which is true, Ahsoka is close to aging beyond Anakin´s age of death at 46 and while Anakin "looks" like clone wars Anakin, he isn´t just Anakin, this is post ROTJ Anakin, someone who already lived 23 years in the light and 23 years in the darkness, he is Vader, he is Anakin, he isn´t young at all and he is living in a whole other level in the force compared to the one Ahsoka lives, because she is still alive.

In fact the first question Anakin ask Ahsoka is if she still remembers Baylan Skoll, because that means she is still alive, she can still come back, "That´s good" he says.

I love how adult Ahsoka automatically reverts to her teenager personality when she noticed Anakin, she smiles, her eyes bright up, she makes jokes and teases Anakin just like in the good old times, because she missed him so much, in many ways he is her home and if he wasn´t there anymore she could not return home, as simple as that, she could not act as if Vader was Anakin, he was a broken version of her master, consumed by darkness, she probably was happy to hear from Luke Anakin died in the light but he was dead and she didn´t get the chance to say goobye but THIS, this is her brother/father, he is back, he looks the same, she can lower her guard, smile and tease because he is here to take care of things like he used to do when she was a child.

She only gets serious when Anakin isn´t automatically teasing her as well, when he says he needs to teach her one more thing, when he gets serious, then Ahsoka remembers Anakin isn´t just Anakin anymore, she knows him but he´s grown into someone she doesn´t know anymore either.

So Anakin begins by teasing her back, putting her at ease and then, he sends her to the heart of what´s bothering her, the clone wars. In many ways, she is still that child fighting over and over again, she no longer has a particular reason to keep fighting and she is tired. It´s such a good contrarts how while adult Ahsoka is teasing with Anakin, child Ahsoka is grumpy, she complains, she questions, she asks, just like she did in the past, this child is adult Ahsoka allowing herself to be a child again, to not have all the anwers and to complain to Anakin to give her a reason to keep fighting and explain why does it matter anymore. She could not do this with Hera and Sabine because Hera is her friend but they are not that close and she is also her superior in the alliance and Sabine depends on her to make the decisions and guide her but Anakin? He is family, she can complain all day long knowing he will try at least to listen to her and try to guide her to the best of his hability and this isn´t teenager Anakin either, this is post Vader Anakin so she knows she can get snippy, angry, mad and hostile with him all she wants, she has all the right to be and he will take it.

Anakin doesn´t just listens anymore, he counsels but he also pushes her into talking about what she doesnt want to talk about

"Do you really want a padawan?" "Being a teacher isn´t all that"

Low key Anakin is giving her the freedom of not being a teacher if she doesn´t want to be, Ahsoka looks at him affronted but it´s true, she accepted Sabine because Hera wanted her to and Sabine wanted her to but she herself isn´t sure she wants a padawan, in fact she already abandoned Sabine once, what is keeping her from doing the same again? and part of the reason she doesn´t know the answer is that she wants to be able to give Sabine or any other padawan something more than war, death and the training to be a warrior as a legacy but she is convinced there isn´t anything else she can give, because emotionally she is still that little girl forced to fight in a war, mourning for each death, mourning for her master fall and she believes that´s all she is ever going to be in the future. She fears her master fate because she believes that is going to be her fate too.

So Anakin, Vaderkin, tries to explain she has to adapt to the times, his master teached him to be a guardian of peace because that´s what he was, Anakin teached her how to be a soldier because they were fighting in a war and she would have died if he didn´t teach her how to survive war but this doesn´t mean she can´t adapt to the times she and her padawan are living and this is precisely what Ahsoka is refusing to do, she is stil in mourning so she can´t enjoy her present.

Anakin tells her she is more and even if she believes she can´t because she has his teachings in her, she is more because he also is way more than Vader.

So when Ahsoka answers him "you are more but more dangerous and powerful than anybody thoguht" and if that´s what he is, then what hope is there for her if she has inside herself his legacy, his teachings?

Is this what this is about? I gave you a choice live or die

Here Anakin gets mad because she isn´t understanding, she has his legacy but she isn´t him, his fall, his redemption, his good and his bad side are his own, not hers and in time she will have to make her own decisions, adapt, grow and teach her padawan what she had learned, they are the legacy of previous masters but they are also MORE, they are also what each one of them adds to that legacy.

So Anakin brings his other half, Vader, to teach her and test her with the same lesson Anakin learned along with Luke, his Son, you are more, you make your own choices and you can choose again and again and that´s what defines you, only you can define yourself, not others. He pushes Ahsoka with Vader´s persona to defy her to live once again but he also pushes her by showing her , her deepest fear, her falling, her becoming a darksider and he gives her an ultimatum, kill him and die herself, not just physically but the light inside of her, or live and stay in the light.

Ahsoka chooses the light and lets her lightsabers fall, just like Luke did, her lightsabers are no longer her life, she is more than war, she is more than just a warrior fighting in an eternal war but more than that, she is still herself and it´s her choice if she wants to stay being herself or die and fall.

Anakin reverts back from Vader to himself again, proud of her, happy with her choice, he reverts to show her how if he, who was in darkness for so many years, buried and dead inside could still come back, then there´s so much hope for her to make her life anew by not letting her past or her lightsabers define her anymore and this is symbolized with her being taken away from the water towards safety.

In the end, he didn´t just wanted to teach her how to live physically again or how to leave behind her past, enjoy her present and enjoy life, he also wanted her to learn she must live by not falling to the darkness and even if she falls, there´s "Hope for her still" because there was also hope for him as well and now Ahsoka can remember him without mourning, without regret.

Just so many great interactions between them. Loved this chapter. Hope we see what other scenes Anakin is going to have because this story isn´t done yet.

PD: Post ROTJ dead Anakin is so relaxed, happy and vibing, love it, honestly, good for him.

#This show is bringing the best tropes of master - apprentice samurai stories with Anakin and Ahsoka and I am here for that #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #star wars #ashoka spoilers #ahsoka series #Dave Filoni #luke skywalker #sabine wren #hera syndulla #Anakin loves Ahsoka and wants her to live her best life ever without fears and without regrets #Anakin is Ahsoka´s home #very long post

131 notes · View notes

ddarker-dreams · 7 months

Note

hmmm.... i have a question. not really a question, more like rambling actually.

so we know that n darling doesnt want to get attached with blade, she mostly sees him as her fuckbuddy for a bit which i think is funny, hence she is his long term long distance low commitment gf.

but im actually curious on blade's view on this relationship. does he feel mutual about this? i mean, clearly he doesn't, but im dying to know the specifics.

does he not prod on the topic because he knows n darling would ultimately be his anyway? (based on... whatever elio's script says) or does he just... not care for any specifics and just already considers her his gf without said gf even knowing 😭😭 actually both theories sound more or less similar.

im so excited for ch 5, ive been rereading nexus over and over again lol (and of course... ch 3 and 4 has the most reads for certain reasons im sure you know)

me thinking of a way to respond without accidentally delving into spoiler territory GJKJDF

i will say that the answer to this question is different pre and post chapter 4. i can come back and give the latter after chapter five is posted.

OKAY, so. initial impression (after saving n darling from alister's knife attack in ch1), was... nothing really. a slight pull and nothing else. at that point, he knew the specifics of his job, which he didn't view differently from the hundreds of jobs he'd be assigned before. he doesn't usually bother thinking about the greater picture. he considers himself a weapon who will simply do as he's told until elio fulfills his end of their agreement.

for a while after that, he finds n darling kinda weird. he doesn't get why n darling thanked him and made her synalink offer when it's pretty obvious she doesn't like the stellaron hunters. it wasn't clear to him yet that in the same way he considers himself a weapon, n darling views herself an integral organ to eris. n darling's gratitude wasn't so much that he saved her life — but that he saved eris' 'life.'

he didn't actively try to understand her because he wouldn't care to. the sole reason he picked any of this up is just from the sheer amount of time they spent coexisting. it's inevitable he'd become familiar with her to some extent. there's that, and well... n darling is rather stunning. an assignment where he basically gets to stare at a beautiful woman for days on end isn't something he's complaining about.

what served as a turning point is the nectar guide incident.

(i didn't expect for this to get so long good god but here's blade's mental health going 📉 as his journey to tap n darling begins)

when he comes to, the sight he's greeted with is this high stationed individual weeping for him and desperately tearing her clothes in a attempt to stop his bleeding. he cannot recall a time when anyone has bothered to do so, since it's known no matter how awful an injury he suffers, he'll regenerate eventually. that aforementioned slight pull grows stronger.

regarding blade's reaction to n darling poking around in his psyche uninvited, that wasn't what actually upset him. it was the possibility he'd be less attentive to her safety if he were to go around searching for survivors. for some inexplicable reason, this irked him.

then, at this exchange in ch3:

“Can it really be considered a sin if it’s beyond your control?”

“It won’t always be,” he replies. “Until then, I can’t allow myself to forget. You must get why.”

You wish you didn’t.

it finally dawns on blade that he and this diva-who-pretends-she-isn't-a-diva actually share common ground. that they're both stuck in this self-perpetuated cycle of guilt and admonishment for circumstances that weren't entirely their fault. he doesn't know what to do with this information and stuffs it away for safekeeping.

then another turning point goes down:

the dissonance between lear's id and ego/superego culminates to such a degree that n darling goes unresponsive, the psychic backlash is that bad. blade doesn't understand the specifics. all he sees is this woman he's begrudgingly intrigued by collapsing to the ground with blood rushing from her nose, while her noisy friend and quiet friend rush around. eventually, he can roughly piece together what happened from these tidbits: n darling's aversion to physical contact (seen in ch1 when he reaches for her wrist and she freezes up, then once more when she avoids him after the nectar guide incident).

n darling then confirms this: "What you’re referring to is a precaution my mother suggested. In the past, strange reactions have occurred after I came into direct contact with someone."

along with well-intentioned nona's exclamation: "i yelled at him that if he hurt lear you would turn his mind into goop"

blade wouldn't have thought to configure lear into things as soon as he did had nona not given this slip of information. he already had suspicions that lear and n darling had some sort of Situation between them, because lear isn't slick and makes googly eyes @ n darling like nobodies business, but this. this is different. he could write lear's googly eyes off as a crush, which is whatever. but n darling caring for lear to such a degree that she's fine with risking her wellbeing because she likes being around him that much? hence:

You’re so swept up in your thoughts, that it takes you a while to notice how Blade’s been staring at you. This in and of itself is nothing new. He’s been your shadow ever since forced this arrangement. It irritated you at first, but that blistering offense eased into acceptance. His vigilance felt befitting of a guard. Taking in your surroundings, assessing any threats; such is his prerogative.

How he’s eyeing you now feels different. It’s as if he’s looking through you, not at you.

“Is something wrong? You’re making such a scary expression,” you joke.

at that point, blade is Not Happy to an extent that confuses even him (ch5 will go into why).

then he happens to be brooding in the distance, as he's prone to do, when he sees n darling looking absolutely defeated (post the convo with caicias and chrysus). he feels this need to do something about it, remembers how often she drinks that ambrosia tea, then makes some for her. he really was going to just leave it and then give her space, but, alas:

"Your body springs up of its own accord. You balance the teacup in one hand and reach out to him with the other, your fingers fanning out, ready to sink into whatever they can. Everything happens in the blink of an eye. Your free hand succeeds in finding a destination — settling on the abrasive finish of his bandages.

You feel another texture alongside it.

It’s smooth, cold, and visible through the interstices of his winding bandages.

His skin."

this contact quite literally Awakens something in him (👁👁),

"Blade’s gripping your comforter hard enough for his knuckles to turn bone white. He’s leaning forward, as if ready to pounce, yet lucid enough to exercise some semblance of self-control. He reminds you of a starved animal trapped in a cage, salivating over a piece of meat hanging outside the bars. Goosebumps cover your body. This isn’t simple lust… it’s visceral, some primitive desire too overwhelming to be understood.

You’re the one he’s staring at with this unbridled yearning.

Yes, he’s teased you. Pushed your buttons and riled you up. Not so subtly flaunted the strength that lets him maneuver you like you weigh nothing. You might have status and mastery in your given field, but he’s participated in the annihilation of worlds; the end of civilizations that span back since time immemorial.

He should be the one in charge.

Yet as you stand here, witnessing how he tortures himself by not pouncing on you like he easily could, a thought is planted.

He’d really do anything you asked if it kept this from ending."

from this point to where chapter 4 ends, blade's brain is in some sort of caveman mode. he wakes up. thinks about fucking n darling. fucks n darling. waits around impatiently until he can fuck n darling once again. fucks n darling again. goes to (half) sleep. rinse and repeat.

not only is his mara manageable when he's around n darling, but he gets this thrill too? it's a high unlike anything he's experienced in the miserable centuries he's been cursed with immortality. he isn't really worried about the specifics of their relationship, so long as he can keep railing her on every surface around. n darling's body, how she carries herself with such confidence, the way she pokes and prods at him; he's obsessed. addicted. nothing short of feral.

every stage on his hierarchy of needs has been replaced with n darling.

#nexus #blade brainrot #not sfw #answered #Anonymous

95 notes · View notes