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#not sfw
vigilantsycamore · a minute ago
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Polish Phrase: O co ci chodzi?
Meaning: What do you mean?/What are you talking about?
Attempt at a literal translation: About what is it walking for you?
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yeagerslut · 5 minutes ago
SALEM, I HAVE TO KNOW HOW PORCO FUCKS
to quote dr shea @erwinsvow, phd in galliardology and expert in the field of porcoisms:
'porco fucks you like it’s your last day on earth,,,, like if he doesn’t absolutely batter your pussy and fuck you so deeply into the bed that it’s about to break he’ll die,,,, he’s a maniac for that pussy 🦋🦋🦋🦋 you guys don’t always get a ton of time together because he’s always busy :( so whenever he gets to see you or sneak into your room through your window late at night he just clasps a hand over your mouth and fucks you stupid to show you how much he loves you 💓💞💘💕 because he loves you SOOOOO much it’s ridiculous and he’s not so big wirh emotions at first so he proves it to you by giving you so many orgasms it’s ridiculous 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫'
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yeagerslut · 9 minutes ago
please elaborate on zeke + aftercare 😩🤲🏻🥺
GLADLY!!
i think sex with zeke sort of inevitably leads you to revert into this super hazy headspace where you're left extremely vulnerable. so in other words, you usually experience a sub-drop. n zeke knows that it's bound to happen with the kind of kinks that you experiment with, not to mention it's happened more than a few times with previous partners, so he's more than prepared to handle it
it goes without saying that he makes sure to take care of any open wounds or intense bruises on your skin first coz...duh but once that's done, he's gently carrying you to the bathroom so he can deposit you into the tub n wash you up, sitting right on the rim coz he doesn't want you to be alone when you're in this state. this is when he starts to praise you for doing so well! n for using your safe-word when you had to! he's so proud of you!
after that short bath, he's very quickly wiping himself down with a damp cloth so he isn't totally gross when he crawls into bed with you, pulling you to his chest or giving you space as necessary. if the latter is what you'd prefer, he has no problem with giving you a soft kiss to the top of your head n rolling over to his side of the bed. but if it's the former...oh he's gonna smother you in reassurances of 'you're okay, i promise. you're safe' n flurries of kisses all over your face. he's a pretty clingy guy after sex so this arrangement works out just fine for him
so tldr,,,he's a very experienced guy who treats his partners with the utmost care after fucking their brains out. what a guy <3
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skyphi · 10 minutes ago
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POV: you were wondering around and you saw a BIG house, you fit trough the door so you decide to enter, you manage to climb some stuff and get to a table and then i pop up and say hello, reaction?
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starbearsblog · 18 minutes ago
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***NEW POST ON TWITTER (starbears3)*** I promise that the work is very safe and not at all inappropriate for the likes of Tumblr.
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yeagerslut · 36 minutes ago
Yelena is one for impact play but will never actually hurt you. She blames herself heavily if she does and makes it up to you by pampering you the next day
idk if i've ever said it on this blog specifically but i used to pretty much always talk about how meticulous yelena is at aftercare. she kinda has to be given that she's very experimental n into some very hard kinks (impact play, mindfuck, temperature play, pain play, etc) but even for someone who dabbles in those sorts of things, she's still very thorough when she's checking up on n then comforting you
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soft--dogs · 48 minutes ago
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second set of pride icons! for @aspecificpole, @burgerpossum, @kagrenak, and @charboday 
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cherry-cg · an hour ago
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Thank you all so much for a 1000 followers! You’re all amazing, perfect and great people, always remember that!
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hauntedhazards · an hour ago
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lovesick (youngseph x gn! reader)
UNFINISHED. VERY UNFINISHED. I MIGHT NOT FINISH IT IN THE FUTURE. WHO KNOWS.
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genre- fluff? angst? mostly angst? mostly fluff? i have no idea..
warnings- none. sfw
summary: stupid boy, making me fall in love with him.
song: bubble gum by clairo
(a/n) this is one of my first fics lmao. don't read if you're looking for a good fic, this is also kind of to track my writing progress. hope you enjoy, i guess.
¸.•*¨*•.¸¸.•*¨*•.¸¸.•*¨*•.¸
Joseph Joestar was a casanova.
Or an aspiring one, at the very least. It was clear from the beginning that he was your typical overconfident, flirty, wannabe Prince Charming.
You had sworn to yourself that no matter how sweet, how endearing, how so very pretty he was, you wouldn’t fall in love with him. He was the opposite of you, the very kind of boy who would never fall in love with someone like you .
At least, that was what you wanted yourself to think. But the only thoughts in your head were all about him. That stupid, stupid boy. How pathetic can I possibly get? You’ve sworn to yourself that the one thing you would never be is lovesick, and this is what you’re doing.
Lately, though, things were different. Before, he had used corny pick-up lines and cheap comments to try and lure you in. You had remained vigilant around him, and always tried to redirect the conversion for fear of flirting back. But now, the atmosphere has changed. The Joestar seemed more protective of you, especially around Caesar. Although he was still making an effort to maintain his appearance, you could see the disguise was slipping.
Of course you had an idea about what it was about- you weren’t stupid. But some part of your brain reminded you to not get your hopes up. It was obvious that you felt some kind of way towards him, but only to yourself. And as much as you wanted to believe that he felt the same kind of way, you were sure it was just wishful thinking.
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o0u0o · an hour ago
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i decided it would help me a lot to visualize my alters as separate people inside of me so i drew out what i think me/my child alter would look like :)
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foolishly-snowy · an hour ago
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i said i would draw furries and here i am with more
this time its evil x but hes a deer 😳
helmet and no helmet versions because i drew the no helmet first and then decided i wanted to test what the helmet would look like on so there u go
and since u are probably wondering: he puts the helmet on with minecraft logic, just like how armor just instantly goes on from ur inventory so does the helmet over his antlers ;p
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puppy-boxjuice · an hour ago
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Tat how ma phone is wen a open it !! An the moodboard was made by bestest friend @starstrucksweetheart !!~ Te Cinamorolls images fo widget wer on Gogle !~ It took long long time but a love ma phone wike dis !!~🐶💕
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sugarbabywenkexing · an hour ago
Hi there! New follower (advance bravely stuff). I don’t know your wenzhou bottoming fight headcanon. Care to share with the class?
I love the wording of this ask! It implies it's a much more elaborate theory than me tag rambling on someone's post but essentially I have a semi-serious headcanon that, unlike in the novel, drama wenzhou fight over who gets to bottom. Eventually this descends into ZZS drawing up an extremely elaborate chart of exactly whose turn it is at any given moment and WKX retaliates by turning up to their dates with a butt plug in and crying.
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teddiesandmoss · an hour ago
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just not understand if blog sfw and nice then why weird community tag matter, why everyone hate each other no no no be nice should be friend not hate
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peralta-guaranteed · an hour ago
Yup lol
oh good 😂 I mean, I couldn't think of anything else you could mean with that, but I wouldn't wanna write you a few paragraphs of peraltiago sex only to realise it was some cutesy kid thing instead...
Anyway, post-O-nap hc:
- Jake is enough of a gentleman to not just roll over and fall asleep, but when a happy and satisfied Amy snuggles up to him and starts playing with his hair or massaging his shoulders after it's all done, he's usually done for as well and drifts off pretty quick. Not for long though, because despite all Amy is a stickler for hygiene so she'll wake him up after a while to take a shower and change the sheets
- she lets it slide sometimes, when they've had a particularly good session ifyouknowwhatImean😏, because there's nothing greater than post-hardcore-sex-cuddles and listening to Jake's racing breath slowly calm down into his sleep-breath and know that she's the reason he's completely worn out and would probably not be able to get up for a shower anyway until his legs work again
- it's one of the few times Amy doesn't get cold while sleeping naked, even with a thin blanket, because she's still all warmed up from the fun and Jake next to her is like a human radiator anyway
- usually though Amy doesn't fall asleep after, but rather gets super-energetic and hyper almost. There's been more than one time where Jake woke up after maybe 10 or 15 minutes of napping to find the entire wardrobe rearranged or the bathroom cleaned and ready for his shower or his girlfriend in just his boxers or his shirt, organising something in the kitchen. (that view usually leads to round two and a repeat of the scene)
- but when Jake brings his A+ Game (as he likes to call it, thinking about how his girlfriend loves grading systems and anyway, he brings his usual A Game most of the time so that's one step up), even hyper-active, hygiene-focussed Amy Santiago can't keep herself from completely melting into the mattress, feeling boneless and ready for the nap of the century. She'll drift off to sleep to the feeling of Jake cleaning her with a wet washcloth in lieu of a shower, because he knows she hates waking up feeling sticky and sweaty, and honestly that little bit of extra care almost feels better than whatever they did right before (but only almost, because holy shit, Jake's A+ Game should be beyond grading)
- she wakes up to lots of soft kisses and soft hands on her skin, and sometimes it just ends up in nice aftercare cuddles and makeouts, but sometimes his kisses travel down before she's even fully awake and he knocks her right back out again
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the-obiwan-for-me · an hour ago
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More Than Blood, chapter 7....
If you are here because you are a fan of my fics, I just wanted to apologize. I try to post consistently, because, frankly, I myself just like the story to move along to get to the bits I am excited about! But last week was a Week in my real life, and this next chapter is necessary but uncooperative, and I am not sure just when it will be complete. We’re getting there. Slowly. 
So, as a treat, here’s a little sneak peek, with some gratuitous Obitine. 
The slow weight of consciousness pressed on Satine, as she woke, their bedroom softly lit by early morning light. Obi-Wan slept on his stomach, limbs flung about, fingers of one hand pressed against her arm, as if needing some physical reminder, even in his sleep, that she was there. They’d shared a bed for nearly thirty years, yet still he somehow still acted like the young man she’d fallen for, shocked at the notion that she loved him. Constantly surprised she wanted him. Despite three children and what seemed a near constant stream of grandchildren.
It made her smile, and she was just about to move closer to him, wrapping him more thoroughly in her physical presence, when she was hit by the realization that the room was far too bright. She’d not woken to the soft tinkle of an alarm, or a persistent comm call of some poor member of the house staff, tasked with rousing them to their duties. No. She had woken on her own, naturally, and far, far too late.
“Ben!” Instead of the soft, sleepy embrace she had considered, she jabbed him hard in the side. “Ben, we’ve slept far too late.”
He woke quickly, as he always did, some weird leftover magic from his life as a Jedi, propping himself up on an elbow to look at her, smiling lazily, and stretched. “Just as I planned.” He rolled to his back, stretching again, a foot poking free of the bed coverings, the muscles in his chest and arms flexing with the movement. Stars, he was still so beautiful. 
But she wouldn’t be distracted by her husband’s good looks. She sat up, scrubbing her face with both hands, willing some life into her body. “You planned this? Obi-Wan, you have more interrogations this morning.” She fumbled for her datapad, then flipped through her agenda. “Stars, I have a meeting in thirty minutes!”
“We are tired, Satine. We needed the sleep.” He smiled cheekily. “We can be late. It’s our prerogative.” He tugged at her arm. “Come on. Let’s at least have tea in bed. We’ll let everyone know we’re running a bit late.”
Satine did not allow herself to be swayed so easily. “We are all tired, Obi-Wan. We have duties.”
“I am not saying our duties are not important, Satine,” he replied, the slightest of edges to his voice. He let go of her arm, and sat up, pushing himself around to face her. “I am saying if we don’t care for ourselves on a rare occasion, we will not be able to continue to perform our duties. And, last time I checked, Mand’alor is not something I can simply retire from.” He reached over, tucking a wild tendril of her hair behind her ear. “Darling, you were all but falling asleep in your dinner last night. Two extra hours of sleep will not make or break us.”
She stayed silent, considering his thoughts, staring down at the fine details of the Kalevalan coverlet. He stretched back into the pillows. “Maybe we should retire. Maybe Lily is onto something. We could retire to Tatooine. Get ourselves a nice little hut. Only deal with Tusken Raiders and the occasional Hutt dust up. Instead of all this.” He waved his hand around in the air above him, taking in the general this of Mandalore.
Satine laughed. “I rather think not, my dear.” She lay back down, tucking herself against him. “Fine. Fine, darling. We’ll be late.”
He sighed, an arm wrapping around her. “Good, excellent. I’ll call to order us some tea and delay our meetings.”
Before he could reach for his comm, Satine moved, draping herself across his bare chest. She pressed a kiss to the center of his sternum. “If you’re going to delay us, for our own well being, then I think tea can wait. There are other things we can do to care for each other.” She placed another kiss, lower, in the soft flesh of his stomach, above an old scar left by a blaster fired on a snowy planet. 
A hand brushed the hair from her face, and their eyes met, his blue eyes alight with fire and mirth. “Oh? And what would that be, my love?”
And Satine showed him just how she felt she needed to care for him. The meetings, their staff and advisors. It could all wait, just a short while, while she and her love cared for each other.
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yourplayersaidwhat · an hour ago
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A Collection of Quotes
"Wait, you can escape from hell? Good to know that's an option."
- after the monk mentioned part of her order's job is to hunt things that escape hell. There was the making of some plans behind that statement.
"But have you seen the ASS on that halfling?"
-I like non-human women, what can I say?
"Don't fuck me War Machine." *rolls a 1* "Ya' fucked me War Machine."
- I had named my dice for a while hoping they would roll better. It didn't work. I had Iron Man, War Machine, and Iron Lad before I just gave up on it. Iron Lad did roll well that night though.
"The elf smiths shat out the FINEST steel, and then they hammered it with their rock hard raging erections at how much better they were than everyone else!"
- me, ooc when talking about how it is always freaking elves who make the best items in everything. Human smiths can and have forged badass magic stuff too. My relationship with elves is complicated.
All said by myself, @nerdberon
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