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#but also in my defense my mother stopped taking me to the doctor after I had a meltdown when I was 15 at an appointment
headofocs-inklesspen · 9 months
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How does one,,,,,, find a doctor. Like the standard “that’s my doctor that I go to for usual, non emergency/speciality things” type doctor
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therainnight · 1 year
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Me blathering about Omgaverse JaviLloyd. 
Warning: I'm no writer. English is my second language AND this is me blathering about Omgaverse JaviLloyd. 
Of course, there is no beta reader. this is me blathering
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hear me out- omega!Lloyd.
Yeah I know he must suit for being beta but I like the chaos of Suho and others that not is baron or baroness, don’t know if Lloyd is omega.
Originally, his death isn’t only because of drinking too much but also consumed heat suppressant pills for a long time and won’t let his body have heat after the first time it happened, and because of that most people think he is beta.
Unfortunately, Kim Suho aka our beloved young master takes his body without this knowing this. He did notice the pill bottle on the bedside table but don’t think too much about it. (In his defense, “it a pill bottle with no label. Who would dare to touch it?”)
The story continues like now it in the novel or webcomic. There was once or twice, Javier noticed a new scent coming from Lloyd. VERY SUS. At first, Javier thinks that Lloyd has a secret meeting with omega to steal the weird knowledge that recently Lloyd possessed but that theory has to drop out because Javier is with Lloyd 24/7 after he picks up Lloyd from passing out on the road on a faithful day.
Lloyd knows only a few things about this second-gender thing. “The knight of blood and iron” is focused on Javier’s knighthood journey more than the second gender. He knows what beta, omega, and alpha are but just that it.
After the mining & ant incident, it the moment that Lloyd learned about his real second gender. He learned from the mouth of his family doctor. At first, the doctor praised Lloyd for his choice of choosing to stop drinking after that he praised him for stopping taking heat suppressant pills and letting his body free for once, doing what it was designed for.
“Heat? What?” Lloyd asked but the doctor didn’t notice and keep talking.
“It’s good that now you consider your health, young master. But just completely stopping consuming heat suppressants immediately is kind of dangerous. I will write a new set of pills for u to stable your system, ok?”
“Oh and please don’t take it the wrong way but now you're out of pills, I think you should consider wearing a collar for your own protection.”
“I know. Sir Asrahan is trustworthy and noble alpha but as you always said to your soldier, safety first! Hahaha” the doctor laughed softly.
Before Lloyd could ask doctors more about this “heat” and pills. Baron and baroness break into the room and hug him while telling how they were glad that Lloyd is awake and safe. After a joyful family drop-down. Baron tells Lloyd that he knows about Lloyd's decision to stop taking heat suppressants. The baron presents Lloyd with a collar with the Frontera symbol on it. He said that ask for a mage to cast a spell cast on it to become invisible when the user wears it.
“I know how much you hate people knowing about it but please, think as to help ease your father and mother’s mind.”
Lloyd was confused but agreed to what the baron and baroness begged him for. Good for Lloyd, He wasn’t alone. Javier was also confused.
Nowadays, young master Lloyd has this- bewitching scent coming right off him. At first is very dilute, if it is not because of his sharp sense and of the time they spend together. He won’t notice it but now it becomes more clear and stronger. It smells like chocolate mostly but also another sweet scent that makes a sweet tooth like Javier crave for some.
On one relaxed night, The one that Lloyd can have a routine like normal people. He finished his bath, ready to put Javier into dreamland but Javier have some business before joining him in his bedroom. Lloyd rolls around on the queen-size bed. Lloyd can’t help but feel uneasy and annoyed with how his bed is.
Everyone would have some moments like this. When you feel like the bed is not right and they fix the bed until you feel comfortable again.
So Lloyd spend time waiting for Javier to fix his bed until he felt satisfied. He fluffs 4 pillows that he has. He keeps arranging it but is still unsatisfied.
‘Tomorrow was my day off!! I will have a good quality night's sleep today!!!’
Before he knows he collects the many pillows and blankets as much as he can. While Lloyd arranges his bed like a madman he notices Javier’s pink pillow on the chair near his bed. He picks the pink pillow up. Look around it. Before hugging it to test the quality of the pillow. Turn out it is perfect!
Lloyd replaced the pink pillow with his own pillow while thinking Javier won’t mind him borrowing this pillow just for one day.
-knock- -knock-
“Master Lloyd. It’s me”
“Ah! Come in.”
Javier didn’t prepare his heart for what he witnessed after he opened the door. The usually normal bed is now full of pillows and blankets. Anyone can see that each item has gone through a lot of calculations to determine where to put it.
‘I- it looks like a nes-‘ before Javier can end his thoughts suddenly Lloyd pops out.
“Ha ha! Lo and behold! This is my fortress!”
“....Young master, what are you doing?”
“...make my bed? ANYWAY! come join me! it's very comfy, you know~? Want to sleep with this big brother tonight~?”
“..with all the respect, sir. I have to refuse- wait. Is that my pillow?” 
"oh-AH. Yes. I will borrow it today! "
"You have a ton of pillow, Sir. Why you must borrow mine? please give it to me"
"What-? Did I just hear SIR KNIGHT ASRAHAN say he can't sleep without his pink pillow? don't worry. I won't tell a soul."
"--!"
Javier moves closer to the bed with a fortress(?) make of pillows. To be honest, the nest- no- the bed looks very comfy and neat but he can't let himself go along with what this trash human planned.
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Thank you for reading! :3
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beingdreeyore · 11 months
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I'm raw today. I haven't cried, but several times I've wanted to.
Today was one of those days where the frustrations created weren't from my own actions, but the response inside me is all mine. Perhaps I'm pre-menstrual? Then again, it's well-established by now that I'm a sensitive soul at the best of times.
I started the day with a phone call to a mother. I was asked to call her to just tell her to restart a certain medication her son had been on. Simple. Easy. I'd never met her. Never met her son. I was relaying a message. It took her less than twenty seconds to unleash at me. I'd gotten no further than saying where I was calling from and the yelling and crying - both from her - began. It went on for over twenty minutes before I calmed her down. Or maybe she calmed herself down. But it was twenty minutes of being abused by someone I had never met. Finally I met her needs on some level. The yelling stopped. When I called her back an hour later to update her on the crisis steps I'd put in place given her complaints, she cried again but this time thanked me. She apologised. It was too late though. My skin was already on fire. My muscles were already tensed too much to be able to relax again in any reasonable time period. My guard was up. I was on the defensive. Ready to see the attacks coming from everywhere.
A consultant from another specialty then attacked our management plan of a patient who was only mildly unwell. The plan - a psychiatric plan - was simple. Standard. Usual practice. It had already been implemented and was working well. My boss and I had discussed it. Then this random doctor decided to write a note in the patient's medical record that was a thinly veiled sermon on his personal beliefs regarding antipsychotic medication. But he chose to attack me personally as mine was the name in the computer that had written the plan. He's never met me before. I doubt he'd heard my name before today. Then again, I have a pretty generic basic white bitch name, so maybe he'd heard my name before, but he didn't know it was mine. He doesn't know me. But he came for me as if I somehow represent psychotropics. I bit my tongue. I took a lap of the block. I kept my eyes down. I breathed deeply.
My team leader saw the note a short time after I did. He appeared in my office, checking I was okay, aware of just how personal the words had been. But it was too late. That was two hits now. There wouldn't be a third. Or, rather, I know myself well enough to know that if a third person appeared, they wouldn't be getting away with it as easily as the first two had. I knew that if a third person came for me, the warrior woman inside of me, the impulsive and reckless side, it would wage war on whoever was brave enough to be the third today before I'd had a chance to stop myself.
Please don't let there be anyone else...
The phone was quiet all day. It's Wednesday. The phone shouldn't have been quiet all day. It's the day Dad calls. But he didn't. He'd gotten distracted by something else. It was something important. I get it. But I felt like an outsider. Alone in it all. Like I didn't belong anywhere.
There was someone else I'd expected to hear from. A man. But the phone has been quiet. I think that's the final straw. Would I normally care? Probably. I don't do well with being letdown or with broken promises, but I probably could've managed okay. But now, in the evening with the phone quiet, it's all a bit much. The silence is better than the contact that is rejection though. At least today. I doubt I could've controlled my response today. So no message is a message but it won't trigger anything inside me. It's awful and painful and also some kind of small mercy. If I don't hear from him, then I can't impulsively lash out in anger.
It's funny. I can rationalise it all. I understand it all. That doesn't mean the world feels any less alone though. I wish it did. I wish intellectualising allowed it to sit more gently. To take up less space inside me.
I saw Z today. It's been so long. He didn't see me. I was thankful. I didn't want him to see my weight gain or the dark circles under my eyes. I saw him. He's gained weight too. He looks older. Worn out. It was the first time I've ever seen him with his hair in need of a cut. I wonder if everything is okay? He looks like trash. Like he's not sleeping either. What is happening for him? Is something happening in his life that's making him feel the same kinda way...? I wish I could will him into smiling my way again. Not that it would get me anywhere, even if I could. If he'd said hello, there's every chance he would've been on the receiving end today. He's never apologised. He's a fair target. Right?
I'm alone today. But I understand this is best in some ways. I don't trust myself to regulate my anger after being so defensive. I'm home now. It's quiet. It's lonely. Again though, it's some kind of small mercy.
It's just harder some days than others. The things that are fine some days can just not be fie the next. I'm okay. For goodness sake, we all know by now that one way or another I'm always okay, but today is a tough day.
It was a really tough day and I hope tomorrow is better.
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prsk-krow · 2 years
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You've caught my attention! Your writing is quite the good one, dear.
Can I have the "Moving In" with Mafuyu?
Thank you for your time!
{(Trying to)Move in with Mafuyu!}
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Heya, I'm glad to have caught your attention! I'm just starting, so every piece of affirmation is valuable to me, or that may just be because of my lack of confidence...
This one was definitely tricky to come up with, thanks to a certain individual... However, I'll try my best to see it through! Caw.
As soon as the idea of moving in with Mafuyu popped into existence all those months ago, both of you were aware of the foreboding presence that would make everything almost impossible if not done right: Mafuyu's mother.
The stoic girl was quick to point out that she would never accept someone else living in her home, especially someone who may 'disturb her studies', so she needed to be convinced, somehow, into letting you live there! Which is why, you put your plan into action so long ago.
You convinced your parents to try and befriend Mafuyu's, lure them into thinking that you were her best studying partner, and that your presence was helping her not only realize how much she could stand out as a doctor, but also how grateful she is to them! Of course, all of those being utter lies, it was hard to get your parents to cooperate, until they found out for themselves just how trashy your partner's mom was, and how Mafuyu didn't deserve to have them.
So, after months of patience and waiting, you finally get the confirmation that they succeeded, and that now you're her best partner in their eyes! Now, all that's left to do is to ask directly for their permission to move in!
However, as the day comes and you get ready to go to her home to ask, you can't help but notice that her normally firm and emotionless voice was weaker. Not only that, her eyes were distracted. Worried, you told her to mention what was on her mind.
"I... I feel my breathing is quickening. I don't know why, but... Whenever I think about us asking my mom for permission to let you move in, my chest tightens in a very uncomfortable way... I... I don't want to hear their answer. I know it's the only way, but..."
Before she could continue, you hugged her and made sure to tell her that everything was going to be ok. That she just needed to trust you. That feeling scared is ok, but she has to put commitment into the hardest choices in order to achieve a happy ending.
After taking a few deep breaths, Mafuyu would continue the walk home, thinking about what you would both do once they accepted instead. Of course, it wasn't a certainty, but she remembers how many times you had told her to think positively, and she was making the effort!
The time had arrived, opening the front door to her house, and entering. Mafuyu would call out to her mom, and present you to her. Her mom would recognize you, thanks to the photos that your mom had shown her, and from the look in her eyes, she didn't seem too defensive. A good start...
However, when the time came to ask of her to move in... She couldn't. The words got caught in her throat. You gently patted her shoulder, keeping your arms far away from her afterwards to not give her mom any wrong ideas.
She breathed in deeply, and asked her mom for the permission. She was shocked, her pupils widening and becoming speechless. Before she could say anything, the dad of the house walked in.
They whispered to each other, as you took the chance to pat her shoulder again. Her dad seemed to be smirking, however... And when they stopped, the dad finally answered for them.
Since this was the first time meeting you, it was hard to trust you fully. However, they would allow you to come back from school with her from time to time, and then, they would see if you're worthy!
The two of you would exhale deeply inside of your minds, as Mafuyu thanked her parents, reassured then that everything would turn out ok, then quickly invited you in to her room to drop the act as soon as possible!
"... We did it. I didn't expect to receive that answer, but... There's hope, isn't there? Just a little bit more... Thank you. I haven't felt so relieved in so long..."
Moving in with Mafuyu would be harder than you thought. However, the chance was there, and neither of you could afford to waste it!
... Ok, so... There's legitimately no easy way I saw for anyone to move in with Mafuyu just like that with her parents. So... I did the next best thing! I'm sorry... But this was the best I could come up with. I hope that this is good enough... Caw.
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cogbreath · 8 months
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sorry for posting in this way but lol my mother is crushing all my defenses. like ive rlly done all i can to try to keep myself in good thoughts to not blame myself, maybe i still dont blame myself because i know its not my fault but eventually after this stuff repeats for so long its hard to not wonder what she rlly wants of me or thinks of me. especially the way she yells at me. "wtfs wrong with you, you need to see a doctor?!"
technicaly true i should but the way its said at me is not something i feel i could say yes to, its feeling like something shaming me for my health problems in regards to her constant narrative of "nobody helps me around here" (common mother sentiment also not unjustified technically but it'd do one justice to keep that energy towards ur lameass man and not your disabled child)
and if i were to say yes i know what would happen there would be further beratement complaining shaming because then i become a financial drain and also more of a mental toll on her (she has complained before about how my or my fathers mental health issues take a toll on her, again not an unjustified thing it happens to everyone but she seems to rather just want everyone to simply Stop having issues because they are an irritant to her rather than genuine concern? im not sure its very difficult to understand her im not sure she understands herself anyhow)
so i dont know. im not very smart but i know when i notice a pattern. so im really left helpless. i need people to take care of me i cant take care of myself but its very much distressing when you start to wonder if the ppl who say they want to take care of you kind of actually hate it and by extension hate you or at least resent you (does she love me or the idea of me?)
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liifeweaver · 1 year
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I made the realization today that the muse for Niran is being translated from an old d&d character of mine and I wanted to use this revelation as an excuse to talk about him because they’re so alike it’s scary
Also I feel I should note, the picture of Kadyn is drawn by myself and was drawn a good year or so ago.
All of this is under a cut because I love gushing about my d&d ocs and none of you can stop me lmao
His full name is Finnegan Kadynius Lyciard Syrahn II, but generally goes by Kadyn. He’s an alchemist, medical practitioner, and also a licensed midwife. He is also the first tiefling in his bloodline, as an effect of a deal his ancestors on his fathers’ side made with a devil.
Kadyn was very sick as a child. The silver and red amulet he wears was made by his mother and a friend of the family in order to save his life. He has not parted with it since he was young. Mechanically, it’s an Amulet of Health, which brings his constitution score from a 7 to a 19.
If he goes more than a few days without wearing his amulet, Kadyn would begin to get seriously ill. Even common colds could prove dangerous to him without it.
Ashamed of his first son being born a tiefling, Kadyn’s father is the reason he was ill as a child, after an attempt to secretly poison and kill him - a plot that his mother learned of just in time in order to save his life.
His mother is also an alchemist and doctor, having learned all he knows from her as he grew up. He’s all about helping people and saving lives.
Though he’s also capable of taking lives as well, as he’s also proficient with ranged weaponry such as rifles and pistols. He rarely uses them unless it’s in self defense, though.
Kadyn is fairly easy to get along with. He’s very flirtatious and is also very Pansexual; though he’s still very aware of his partners’ feelings and is certainly not the type to push boundaries.
Kadyn was played briefly in a homebrew campaign as a potion-maker. He was the first (and only) time I’d decided to try a homebrew class, with the DM’s permission. (Don’t. It’s not worth it. Don’t put that pain on your DM I beg you lmao). The campaign ended with a TPK, but I headcanon that Kadyn managed to just barely survive, sporting some nasty magical burn scars in the aftermath:
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Kadyn also has a half-sister named Melody, by the same father. Who was also played previously in the same campaign as a Bard
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anyway I write these characters and many more over at @silva-vinandi​ and you should totally check them out or something 👉👈
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Chapter 10 – The Snowstorm
Due to the strong winds, the ports were closed and water traffic stopped. However, just before this, there was an accident. A ship crashed into the rocks near the shore. The shipwreck was, fortunately, close enough that the rescuers managed to take the survivors out and to the nearest hospital. One of the wounded passengers tried talking to the doctors. He was speaking the language of the Empire Well, but he had a noticeable accent.
"Can you help me go to the capital?"
"Sir, you need to be taken to a hospital first."
"Please, I came all this way to meet my father!" he said between gasps of air.
"Maybe we could help you, but you need to stay here first. What is your name?"
He fainted before he got to say a word.
At another hospital, in a large village beyond the forest, the soldiers had taken Radek for the first aid. He had been shot in his back, on the left side, but the wound was not infected. When he woke up, he told his companions what he remembered happening. He caught his arm between the tree and sled, breaking it, and he also hit his head against the bark. He had a bandage covering his head and his whole ear. The doctors told him he would have to be transferred to a bigger hospital.
"I'm so sorry, Sire! I was supposed to protect you."
"Don't blame yourself. I made a stupid decision to go nearby the revolutionary camps."
"Are you feeling any better?" asked the other.
"So long as the gunshot wound is not infected, I'm not worried. Broken bones also heal. What I'm very concerned about is my right ear. I didn't hit my head very hard, but it seems like the ear took the full blow. I barely hear with it anymore... Now I have to go to this other hospital... I should be out there searching for Kęstas, or at least, I should have gone to talk to my mother."
Despite his disappointment, Radek complied and headed for the hospital in question, accompanied by the same soldiers.
Deep into the forest, Žydras and Gintarė struggled to find shelter. When they met, they instinctively argued, but soon realized that they had to collaborate if they wanted to survive. They eventually found the entrance to another tunnel, where they remained for a while. They searched their pockets for useful tools, aside from the guns they already had with them. Žydras had a lighter and a pocket knife, some fish hooks and ammunition, and Gintarė, who also had bullets and sharp objects that could be used as blades, had a needle and a ball of thread, soaked bandages, as well as a small rock of salt. After their water ran out, they filled their bottles with snow. They ventured through the tunnels, as it was safer than outside, always returning to where they came from, but they could not find any other useful resources. They ended up going without food for about three days, though they ate snow as a means of keeping hydrated. Gintarė sat by herself, beginning to panic.
"I can't believe I ended up here! I failed my mother. I swore to her I would get us out of poverty and that we would never starve again. I was close to leading the revolution, and my goal seemed so near! Now I'm going to die of hunger, if the cold doesn't take me out first!..."
She began crying, but soon realized that Žydras heard and saw her, so she became embarrassed and defensive. He tried to comfort but she curled into a ball, covering her eyes and ears. He went to his place and searched through every pocket again, and, eventually, he found a hard biscuit. He went close to her again.
"This is the last one."
Curious, she lifted her head and saw the food. Her hand trembling slightly, she took the biscuit and ate it slowly, as if it were her last meal.
"Thank you..." she whispered through tears.
"When the storm ends, we'll go hunting. We're not going to starve, don't worry."
"Why are you so kind to me? I judged you harshly."
"I wouldn't want you to die... or even panic for no reason. Somebody has to be more optimistic..."
"Careful not to get your hopes up." she tried to say it jokingly, but it sounded more negative than envisioned.
However, she started to trust him, because he showed that he cared enough to help her. She even began to think that age could make him an ally, teaching him about her one cause. Feeling slightly encouraged, she resumed her search for resources.
Amid the storm, as he was feeling gloomy, Anatoliy went to the royal cemetery, wanting to remember his parents. Much to his shock and confusion, he found a tombstone which read: "Ignatiy Afanasievich Gavriilov (8025-8026)". The eulogy was a sort of poem. He forgot about having had a brother, much less a twin, and he felt sad to know that he died in infancy. As soon as he came inside, he asked his uncle:
"Why wasn't I told about my late brother during my childhood?"
"The same reason I don't talk about my son too much: it's too painful to remember. Your parents were absolutely devastated, as would be anyone who lost a child. I remember holding you while your parents were at the funeral. My heart ached for you and your family. I wouldn't wish such pain even on my most bitter enemy, because I knew how it felt..."
"But your son is alive..."
"He lives on the other side of the world. He has avoided me for the past two decades and a half. I know I'm never going to see him again..."
Anatoliy thought he saw a tear on the corner of his eye, something he had never seen in his uncle before.
"I'm sorry."
"...that was in the past..." he put on a dark smile. "Don't I have my favourite nephew with me?..."
Anatoliy spent most of his time in his room, writing down the nonsense in his mind. One day he wrote the eulogy of his brother and he conjured an idealized version of him, as if he were looking down on him. He wondered whether his parents would have loved the other teo more. He kept having wild flights of imagination, but it was always a negative perspective. He tried to indulge in his hobbies, but he failed at everything he did. At night, he was scared to fall asleep, but he was constantly tired. He had many nightmares, most of which he didn't tell his uncle.
One time, he dreamt about Ignatiy, doing everyday things and succeeding, and living what he considered a good life. One character commented about his twin brother being dead, thought which woke Anatoliy up. Many times, his dreams were much less coherent. Often, he would only remember feelings, but not and other senses. Frequent scenarios were being chased, falling, being lost, and he remembered a constant feeling of fear, dread, pain, forgetting the scene in the dream which caused the respective emotion. It wasn't rare that he dreamt music, but it was either repetitive, or distorted, or both.
Some dreams were violent. One night, he dreamt that he was playing the harpsichord, and he often played out of tune. He heard the same three flat notes over and over again, as if he wasn't able to control the keys with his fingers. Then, a shadowy figure commanded him to play. He tried, but the person behind bashed his head into the instrument everytime he was out of tune. He wasn't able to hit a single note right, and the figure was slamming his head with great force. When he was finally able to wake up, Anatoliy felt his head hurt.
The worst dream he had was about Maksim, the killer in the old newspaper. The two if them were in a burning house, and Maksim made sure to tell Anatoliy how proud he was of him, inviting him to follow further into his steps. The paper criminal was glowing red, laughing with great satisfaction, and Anatoliy felt his bones burn painfully. He ran towards a door, trying to escape the building, but the doors had no handles. He dug his nails into the wood, but it was no use. Maksim was still laughing at him. Anatoliy shouted at him: "You can't talk to me, you're dead!", but the mocking shadow replied: "You are, too!"
When he woke up from this dream, Anatoliy didn't sleep for a few days. His tiredness forced him to sleep every now and again, but the night brought him much dread. His uncle saw that he was very distraught, but he still didn't tell him his nightmares and his morbid thoughts. Grigoriy was beyond worried for his nephew, but he had no idea how to help him. He tried his best to show him that he cared about him, but he never got the occasion to say it.
Anatoliy kept ruminating those same thoughts, becoming unable to perform any other task. He was often feeling so tired that he lay in bed all day, without feeling rested. He dreaded the coming of the night, but he also dreaded the coming of the morning. He barely talked to anybody, but, when he did, he said weird and disturbing things.
He once asked Grigoriy how Ignatiy died.
"Some lung disease. He had a fever as well. You did, too, but you survived."
"Is that why I'm mad, because of a fever when I was a child?"
"You're not mad, Tolya. You're just... different..."
He went to his room, obsessing over the specificities of his brother's disease. For a few days, he only read about lung illnesses. He concluded that this was evidence that Oleg and Ingrid died, given the still raging snowstorm. He began crying all of a sudden, and he couldn't stop, until he felt his throat and his stomach and his back hurt too much. Grigoriy eventually noticed, and came in. In any other time, Anatoliy would have shouted at him to get out, but now he lay helplessly, feeling too tired to stand up and close the door.
"My poor Tolyuchka!" he said, accidentally out loud. "You are very sick, what can I help you with?"
"I don't know..."
He was given some sleep medicine, which helped him in the moment, but, as soon as he was awake, he stayed awake for the following few days. He spent all of his time writing, and this time he had much more inspiration. He wrote tragic poems, fragments of future song lyrics, short melodies and many pages of ramblings. Whatever crazy thought he had, he wrote it down, fooling himself that he would feel better, or that he would feel as if he confessed those things to somebody. He felt satisfied with his literary succes for a brief moment, but despair engulfed him completely.
Instead of lying in bed, he circled in the room as the thoughts circled in his head. It all came to a fairly simple conclusion: he was guilty of killing an innocent man, all that was happening wrong was his fault, and he was already beyond all hope. He was the monster he imagined Vaidas to be. He was the same as Maksim from the newspapers. Everything the others said about him was true: he had descended into madness, his heart was as frozen as the climate of this country, his soul as empty as the northern wind. His life was ruined, but he deserved it, and it still wasn't enough. A murderer only deserves death.
That night, when the snowstorm was still raging, he continued writing furiously, trying to make sense of his situation, but he couldn’t get over the guilt nor the worry. When he couldn’t find the rhyme for a verse, he threw his ink bottle on the floor, breaking the jar in doing so. He threw the pen across the room, into the wall. The ink from the jar began seeping into the carpet. Anatoliy put his hands in his hair in frustration. Failing to forget his burdens by writing, he forced the window open and leaned on the frame, but backed off, scared. Instead, he went downstairs, then outside, only taking his cape over his clothes, but not his fur coat. He started wandering in the snowstorm aimlessly. He got to travel a lot, pushed from behind by the wind, but now he was completely lost, and he felt beyond tired.
He could only think of his guilt and how he felt no desire to live. He dragged himself step after step, slowing his pace more and more. He eventually stopped, kneeled because he felt weak, then plummeted into the thick snow. He thought he should try to get up, but he wasn’t going anywhere actually, so it felt pointless. Why did he run away into the storm? Maybe he did want to get lost... Or to die...
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dariothecat-blog · 2 years
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**Sonic Legends, Part 1- “Archie Sonic!”
Intro: I’ve decided to resume my art with Archie Soniccomic artwork. And I’m going to start with the Blue Blur himself. Despite having similarities to his videogame look-a-like, he’s actually quite different.
Don’t believe me?
Lemme show you.
Background: So it’s super late for this post, but I really wanted to make sure I did my homework. As this part I have drawn and am going to discuss “Archie Comics Sonic”. This version of Sonic was brought into existence in 1993.
In this universe Sonic is seen as part of a team known as the “Freedom Fighters”. Their goal is to take down one; Dr Ivo Robotnik. Who took over the city of “New Mobotropolis, and is hoping to take over the entire planet.
As far as relatives, the comics show us a number of them. There is Sonic’s father; “Jules Hedgehog” who was roboticized after a severe injury. There’s also Sonic’s mother; Bernadette Hedgehog who met Sonic’s father during their school days. Then finally we have “Sir Charles Hedgehog” who is more commonly known as “Uncle Chuck”.
Due to Robotnik’s wish to establish dictatorful role Sonic despises the doctor. And joined the Freedom Fighters to stop his reign of terror. Unlike “Classic Sonic” from videogame canon who fights Robotnik for the sake of enjoying it.
Abilities: Another incredible thing about Sonic is his powers. He can first off breath within the vacuum of outerspace; Ideal for out of planet exploration. Sonic also has “Blessed Protection” granted to him by beings known as “The Ancient Walkers”.
Sonic also has an implant in his body. This device allows him to understand any language. He can even understand his pet dog and other animals.
Also a valuable ability is Sonic’s “Absorption Ability”. This means he can absorb great amounts of energy without being corrupt. Most notably the power of the “Chaos Emeralds” and “Power Rings” in his world.
Then another group of skills under his belt are masteries of skill. He is experienced in hacking, hand-to-hand combat and sword fighting. This hedgehog can also drive vehicles for all sorts of uses.
Straight from the games also comes Sonic’s speed that allows him to run across water. And he can even hover with his “Super Peel Out” move. Once he also ran so fast that he caused time itself to flow backwards.
Along with acrobatics Sonic also has dexterity and co-ordination. Which explains how he is able to learn fighting so well. And also explains how he seems pretty much invulnerable in battle.
Sonic can also borrow underground. As well as maintain body control and use natural weaponry. These are abilities that branch from Sonic’s spines that are shown to be very sharp.
With his versatile movements Sonic can also summon force fields. His “Super Peel Out” ability gives him powerful punches. And this can also greatly increase his speed when needed.
Our hero can also create mirages of himself to confuse his enemies. He can reflect projectiles aimed at him. And he can use his rage to greatly increase his power.
Sonic also has a defensive aura that allows him to charge into enemies unharmed. With fast stokes at pressure points he can also leave enemies immobilized.
Next our hero can summon shockwaves. Another thing he can summon is an actual dragon that can come to his aid (who is his friend “Dulcy the Dragon”). And he can run so fast he can become seemingly invisible to the naked eye.
With his speed Sonic can phase through solid objects. And can wither away objects by vibrating their molecules. He can also use this while in his “Spin Attack”.
Due to his absorption of many Power Rings Sonic can also take critical hits. He can summon portals using the “Chaos Emeralds”. And can control the air causing weather phenomena.
Sonic’s speed also enables him to summon fire. He can control heat as well. Also our hedgehog can summon ice with the aid of his dragon assistant “Dulcy the Dragon”.
Mentally our hero is also strong. As he is resistant to mind control. He is also precognitive, seeing future events as has been seen with powerful relics in the comics. And can also be resistant to cold, poison, plus the atmosphere of the moon. (P.S. I’m gonna save discussing his Super forms later. As his generic abilities have taken a big chunk of this post. Don’t wanna bore you with that now; Do I?)
Character: Sonic is a super speed daredevil and tends to think very highly of himself. Through his life he’s also expressed a deep desire for adventure and excitement. But his thrill seeking aside, he genuinely cares for the things and people he fights for.
The hero is also boastful and tends to gloat a lot. He tends to have no interest in marriage (despite numerous ladies having popped him that very question). This also makes his actions unpredictable, either being caring or down right careless.
#digitalart #fanart #sonicthehedgehog #archiecomics #information #history #family #character #juleshedgehog #bernadettehedgehog #drrobotnik #videogames #comics #fypシ゚
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balkanradfem · 2 years
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So my fellow gyns, guess who just got.. poisoned.
I wasn't going to mention it, because it might make people a bit more apprehensive about foraging, but it's a really funny story to tell, and you can decide for yourself. Yes, I got poisoned on wild foraged plants, and I really had it coming.
So, the year is 2022, there is a war, food prices are skyrocketing, and then there's me, impoverished yet resolute woman of 31, determined to survive on smarts and nature alone. I had been feasting on a stash of conserved food, but got sick of it by the month of March, and searched furiously for wild plants to sustain my well being. I had discovered chickweed, I had found wild violets, carrots and onions, I was eating nettle again, I was on a foraging high. But I was getting reckless. If I heard of someone eating a plant, I also wanted to eat it. If I had seen someone mention a plant was edible, I took it for granted. Hell, I started to believe I could identify plants without looking them up. And, I was also real tired one day.
I was going home from work, choosing a path next to the river, where I knew I could pick up some wild food to have for lunch. I was tired, and dedicated only 10 minutes to foraging; I was going to take wild onions and whatever else I found. And find some plants I did. I got some plantains, which were maybe a bit too old to be safely eaten, too fibrous. I found some of the yellow stuff that I vaguely heard about being edible. Stuffed it in a bag. And I collected whole bunch of wild onion foliage, confident they would all grow back within a week. I got home, hungry.
And I was tired, and I looked at the plants, vaguely considered washing them, then I thought 'nah, these won't kill me even if I don't wash them', stuffed them into a jar and made a pesto. Ate it without a second thought. Now you must be thinking 'well lady, of course you got poisoned' and, okay, I'll give you that one, it is exactly what happened. But, in my defense, it did not even cross my mind I could get poisoned, I was already so far gone I believed my gut superior to those of 'ordinary' humans, and the soil was like my mother, and she was making all these plants to nurture me, and she'd never give me anything poisonous to eat because she loved me, and well. In retrospect, I don't have that many defenses. Every sane person will tell you to wash your food.
So, the next day I started vomiting and my stomach hurt real bad, I figured I was poisoned, called my doctor and explained the situation to her, she told me to 'eat cooked food' in a maybe bit exasperated way and prescribed me some medicine to stop the vomiting. I was still on my bullshit and believed that no, I don't need the medicine, it will go away on its own! Which it didn't, so after my second day of vomiting, I took one pill and immediately got better. I still needed a few days of recovery because at that point, I wasn't able to hold down any food for 2 days and I was weak from not absorbing any nutrients; 2 days later I was fully healed and real grateful that my first poisoning was nothing serious or detrimental.
This poisoning experience has changed me, into a person who is ready to wash my foraged plants before I eat them. Maybe even doublecheck if I have the right plant before throwing it into a pesto. I have learned humility and I will give my gut half a week to recover before I'm back on the wild plants. I might try cooking some first, since that is generally a safer way to eat them. And if you feel like condemning me for poisoning myself, know that it will not work, for getting casually poisoned is an old tradition and somebody has to preserve it.
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pennylanefics · 3 years
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Our Daughter - Paul Lahote
a/n: my first paul fic!! i have another one that’s in progress and almost done :)
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•••
Emily had taken you out for a shopping day, no boys, no pack drama, just you two hanging out. The problem was, you were currently six months pregnant, so walking around for a full day took a lot out of you.
Everything with the pack has been stressful recently, and your pregnancy hasn’t exactly been easy, so she thought you just needed a day to yourselves for some retail therapy. You did end up buying lots of clothes and things for your baby, which you happened to find out the sex of it at your doctor’s appointment that morning.
Finally, as it was rolling around four in the afternoon, you made it back to Paul’s house, that you moved into with him as soon as you found out you were pregnant. Being his imprintee and all, he wanted to protect the two of you more than anything, so living with him was the best way to do so.
“Ugh, I am so tired,” you groan to yourself, setting all of the bags down in your room next to the bed. Emily also offered to come over and cook dinner for you, since Paul and Sam were on patrol until five.
Soon, Emily walks into your house and sets out all of the ingredients.
“Do you need help with anything?” You ask her. Sensing your discomfort, she forces you to sit on the couch.
“Oh no, no. I kept you out all day, you need to rest.” You hug her thankfully and head to your room to lay in bed until dinner is ready.
Paul and Sam show up an hour later at Paul’s house, Sam greeting Emily with a multitude of kisses. Upon hearing Paul’s voice, you get up slowly, your feet still hurting and the swelling in your ankles increasing with every step.
“Hi babe,” you greet him with a smile. He smiles widely to greet you, but immediately, he can sense your pain.
“What’s wrong? What hurts? Did someone get you? What’s going on, darling?” He blurts out, his hands feeling around your body to find the area that was bothering you.
“Paul, I’m fine. My feet are just killing me because we’ve been walking around all day and I’m six months pregnant. Not exactly a good combo,” you chuckle. Paul obviously doesn’t take this lightly and brings you back to his room.
“Well, lay back down and I’ll get you some ice to help with the swelling, and I’ll also rub your feet, or your back, whatever you want. And we can have dinner in here. I want you to rest,” he babbles. You can’t help but giggle and grab his hands, keeping him calm in the moment.
“Babe, please calm down for just a second. I’m fine. I would still have swollen ankles if I wasn’t out walking all day. Plus my doctor says exercise is good.”
“Yeah, exercise isn’t walking around a shopping mall for five hours!”
“I didn’t just buy stuff for me, I bought stuff for our little girl!” You spoil. Your eyes go wide and your jaw drops. You were going to plan this whole thing for him to tell him the sex of your baby, but you ruined it all.
“Shit, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that yet, I-”
“We’re having a girl?” He wonders, the hurt and concern gone as the news is revealed.
“Yeah,” you laugh excitedly, cupping his cheeks and kissing him. He is still so in shock that when you pull away, his jaw drops.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe it,” he whispers against your lips, his forehead still on yours. “We’re having a girl.”
“I know.” You can’t help but begin to tear up at his reaction. You loved him so much and the imprinting made it so much stronger. Everything you felt for him was much more intensified. Seeing him so happy made your heart soar.
“You wanna see what I bought her?” You wonder. Paul nods enthusiastically and takes a seat on the bed while you grab the bag from the baby store.
You spend the next twenty minutes showing him all the baby clothes you got, going over what exactly made you want to get it and if it reminded you of anything. Paul let you talk and stayed quiet, a content look on his face as he listened.
You also showed him everything that you got for yourself, and Paul still didn’t mind one bit; he could listen to you talk for forever.
“Why don’t you lay back for now, alright?” He tells you, gently pushing you to lay down once you put all of the things you bought away.
“Baby, I said I’m okay.”
“I know you did, but I can tell you’re still in pain. And you deserve rest, you’re carrying our daughter,” a fond smile makes its way onto his face, his hand rubbing over your bump.
You sigh and give in, laying up against the pillows and kicking your legs out. Paul stays put beside you, his hand falling to your stomach.
“Hey, dinner’s ready,” Emily says from the other side of the door with a quiet knock. You start to get up, but Paul pushes you to remain laying down.
“I’ll get you a plate, just, please rest,” he begs. You grin and nod, eyes falling closed. When Paul finally leaves, you turn the TV on and relax for the first time in hours. Moments later, Paul returns with a plate in his hand and a glass of water. He sets the plate down on your lap and puts the glass on your bedside table.
He leaves once more to grab his own food, then finally settles into bed next to you.
“You know, you can go out there and eat with Sam and Emily,” you tell Paul. He shakes his head and kisses your temple after swallowing the bite of food in his mouth.
“I haven’t seen you all day, and I could use a break from Sam,” he groans. You giggle and smack his leg.
“Did you tell them the news yet?” He glances at you, confused.
“The news that you’re pregnant? I mean, if they don’t know by now, that’s on them,” he says. You smack his leg again.
“I meant that we’re having a girl.”
“Oh, no. But didn’t you tell Emily already? And I’m guessing Sam picked through my thoughts and found out, so why should we tell them again?”
“I didn’t tell Emily because I wanted you to be the first person to know, and because they deserve to know from us personally instead of Sam listening in on your thoughts.” Paul’s expression softens when you tell him the first part.
“Fine. But let’s wait a little longer. I wanna relish being the only one who knows.”
You two continue eating and when you finish, Paul helps you out of bed, being sure to keep an arm wrapped around you the entire time you walk to the kitchen.
“Babe, I’m fine, you can let me go,” you chuckle, pushing away from him to set your dishes in the sink.
“There’s some news we wanted to share,” Paul smiles at the two guests.
“Let me guess, (Y/N)’s pregnant,” Sam jokes. You giggle and rejoin your boyfriend’s side.
“Well, she’s pregnant with our daughter,” he says, smiling down at you before sharing a kiss.
Emily and Sam immediately congratulate the both of you with hugs and belly rubs.
After things calm down, Emily starts cleaning the dishes for you while Sam and Paul talk over some things and before you know it, you and Paul are left alone for the night.
“I need to take a shower,” you groan, standing up from the couch.
“Hey, hey. I’ll run you a bath instead,” he offers. You smile up at him.
“That sounds great. Would you join me then?” Paul smirks, many thoughts running through his head, but he knows you mean it in an innocent way.
“Of course, baby.”
After the tub was filled, the bubbles were added, bath salts were dissolved, soft music was playing from Paul’s phone, and candles were lit. He helped you get undressed and carefully step into the tub.
He got in moments later, laying behind you so you could lay against his chest. Instinctively, his hands cradled your belly, his head falling to your shoulder.
“I’m so excited for her to get here,” he whispers in your ear, placing soft kisses along the shell of it before moving onto your neck.
“She’s definitely going to be spoiled. I know you’re going to be an amazing father.”
“And you’re going to be such a great mother.”
The rest of the bath was very relaxing, Paul keeping his hands on your stomach, singing along softly in your ear, and giving your shoulder and neck kisses whenever he felt like it.
Once you both were dried off and ready for bed, you slip in a t-shirt of Paul’s, as it was much more comfy and roomy to sleep in. Paul admires you as you do so, waiting for you to lay next to him.
When you finally settle against his body, he wraps you in a hug, kissing all over your face.
“I love you, I love you, I love you so fucking much,” he mumbles between each kiss. A loud giggle escapes your lips as his lips tickle your skin.
“Okay, okay! If you don’t stop, I am going to wet myself.” Upon hearing this, Paul stops right away and holds his hands up in defense.
“Alright. I don’t want that happening.”
“Blame our daughter, she’s pressing into my bladder constantly,” you chuckle.
Finally, Paul relaxes, lifting your shirt up to bare your bump, his warm hands running all over it. It’s a calming gesture, the mixture of his soft touch and his werewolf-heat allowing you to feel somewhat content.
“I want to name her Harlow,” Paul whispers, keeping his eyes on where your daughter was kicking at his hand.
He’s been thinking about names a lot recently, for both a boy and a girl. It was starting to annoy the pack that he was on patrol with. When nothing was going on, he would just run over names in his mind, trying to figure out what would fit best with both of your last names.
“Harlow,” you repeat the name. “Harlow Lahote.” Paul gazes up at you in shock. You two hadn’t talked about whether you would take his last name or not. Though you were his imprint, you weren’t married, and haven’t really been dating for too long, only a year so far.
“You want her to take my last name?” He confirms with a smile slowly tugging at the corners of his lips.
“Well yeah. I’m your imprint so obviously we’re going to be together for a long time. Doesn’t matter if we’re not married now, we’re going to get married in the future. I love you and I want her to have your...our last name.”
“Our last name, huh?” He smirks. “Are you saying you’ll marry me?”
“That’s me giving you the opportunity to propose,” you raise your eyebrows.
“Will you marry me?” He understands exactly what you want. “I don’t even have a ring though, so let me…” he stands to find something, but before he can successfully get anything that would work, you reach over to the tiny bag on your nightstand and produce a small box.
While shopping today, you and Emily got to talking about getting married. She gave you the idea of buying a band for Paul and proposing to him. At first, you were kind of on the fence about it, but after some thought, you didn’t see any harm in doing so.
“Babe?” You interrupt his searching. The sound of your voice makes him whip around back to you, his eyes widening when he sees the box open, with a simple black band inside.
“Will you marry me, Paul Lahote?” You ask with a teasing smile. For a moment, he’s upset that you’re actually proposing to him, but he soon gets over it and sits back down.
“Yes I will, my love,” he says with a huge grin. He kisses you sweetly, grabbing the back of your neck to keep you close.
“Can’t believe you beat me,” he feigns sadness, but soon breaks it with a laugh, pushing you to lay down so he can hover over you.
“Blame Emily. She’s the one who suggested it.” Paul shakes his head and kisses you once more.
“I think I’m missing an important part,” you interrupt. He raises his eyebrows at you, and you remove the ring from the box, patting his chest so he will sit up and off of you.
You take his left hand and slide the ring onto his finger, finding that it’s a perfect fit.
“Shit. I never thought I’d be the one proposed to, but damn, I get how women feel now,” he tells you, chuckling and turning the ring around his finger, examining how it looks.
“We’re not exactly a traditional couple, seeing as you are a wolf shapeshifter, so why not break more traditions?” You joke.
“I liked it. Sweet, to the point, and, we are by ourselves.”
“By ourselves and one unborn,” you add. Paul laughs and moves down your body so that he’s face to face with your stomach.
“Our beautiful baby girl. We can’t wait for you to get here,” he says to your bump. “Harlow Lily Lahote.”
“Harlow Lily Lahote,” you say the full name to yourself. Paul had just randomly chosen Lily just now, feeling like it went well together. His lips pepper kisses all over your bump, being ever so tender and loving.
“My girls. I can’t wait until our family is complete.”
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allyouneedisbuck · 3 years
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Champagne Problems
Summary: a companion piece to What Kind of Man. Harry never meant for things to end up this way. 
Warnings: Cheating. Forgiveness after cheating. Don’t read if you don’t agree with that. 
Notes: some of the scenes from harry’s pov & some new scenes to dive deeper into harry. this is just march! so it’s a companion to the first piece only & is short!
-
Left you out there standing
Crestfallen on the landing 
Champagne Problems
-
March.
-
Harry wasn’t exactly sure when you and him had drifted apart. Logically he knew every relationship had points where things may feel repetitive or where both people struggle, but the two of you had never felt this cold. 
That doesn’t stop the guilt that sinks his stomach and causes his lungs to constrict when you hang the phone up. “Y/N?” He asks in response to the obvious dial tone. 
The guilt doesn’t stop him from staying at the pub. Niall had left hours ago with a hurried goodbye. Jennifer had declined going out at all, saying all she wanted was rest. All who was left was Mitch, Harry, Ally and their semester law intern, Hannah. 
“Everything okay at home?” Ally asks kindly as Harry slips into the booth. Mitch raises his eyebrows as Harry shrugs. “She sounds pissed, but no emergency.” 
“If she sounds pissed why are you still here?” Mitch laughs. It sounds uneasy to Harry as his friend looks him up and down confused. “I remember when you used to refuse going out with us because you didn’t want Y/N upset.” 
Harry takes a sip of his beer and looks away. The pub was mostly filled with other suits. More lawyers from the firm who worked in offices Harry never visited. Doctors from the hospital two blocks away.
He turns his head back to look at Mitch when he feels a hand graze his knee. “I think you deserve a break.” Hannah says quietly. Harry watches as Mitch shakes his head, but turns away before his friend can say anything else. 
(Because Mitch’s stare just forces the guilt up Harry’s throat and he’s afraid it’ll come out in vile. Things were never supposed to go this far with Hannah. It was supposed to be stupid flirting and compliments. Nothing that could break you. It was never supposed to break you.)
(Harry hadn’t done that good of a job.) 
Harry wasn’t drunk. He hadn’t been drunk since law school. He was an adult. With a high paying position at a sought out law firm. He didn’t get drunk. 
You didn’t leave the porch light on though, so it’s a little hard for him to focus on getting the key in the door and also being quiet. But he’s not drunk, so he can do it. He does it. 
He pauses as he drops his keys onto the entry table. The entire first floor is dark. He slips his shoes off as well and leaves them by the door in order to avoid trying to find the correct cubby for them. 
You had left the hallway light on upstairs, so most of the staircase was illuminated enough for Harry to make it up them without missing a step. That didn’t stop him from stumbling up the last three though. 
He can see the bedroom light had been left on as well. He listens for the sound of you talking to Jack or even just the baby’s giggles, but when all he hears is silence, he assumes you had fallen asleep writing. He pushes the door open. 
You’re sitting on the edge of the bed and twisting your ring around your finger as you gnaw on your bottom lip. Your head shoots up when you hear the door open and Harry’s eyes widen. “Y/N?” He feels his eyes squint at the bright overhead light feeling much harsher with your glare. 
He ignores the pit in his stomach as he lifts his wrist the check the time, “Why are awake? It’s almost three in the morning. (He never meant for this happen. He was never supposed to be in this scene.) 
You shrug and let out a laugh that Harry could only describe as empty. The pit in his stomach grows as you whisper harsh words, “I’m well aware of how ridiculously late it is, Harry. I figure I should be awake though, it’s the only time I’ll see you.” 
Harry looks away as he pulls his jacket off and lays it on the bed beside where you were sitting. “What are you talking about?” In order to avoid your stare he focuses his attention to his white button up. He hands fumble and he notices you stand in his peripheral version. 
His hands pause for a moment, like he expects your hands to steady his shaking ones like they normally did. You almost do, he notices, but a look crosses your face and your arms cross over your chest defensively. 
“The kids missed you.” You say quietly. 
Harry knows what’s coming as his hands fall completely away from the shirt and he finally looks at you. He feels tears rush to his eyes as the guilt from earlier in the night returns tenfold. “I missed them too.” He says quietly. 
“Seph asked me if you were leaving us.” The words feel like a punch to the gut as you just watch him stand and process them. Seph asked that? Had he really been gone so often his first daughter, his best friend, was worried he wouldn’t come back one day? 
“She what?” Harry flinches when he hears his voice crack. “I would never leave you guys, I love you.” 
You look away. “Do you?” And if your words about Persephone had felt like a punch, these felt like a gunshot. Pain splintering from his chest throughout his entire body. 
“What?” He almost yells. But he knew the kids were asleep. He never wanted to wake his kids up to fighting. He feels like he’s sobering up fast and it’s making him nauseous. He takes a hesitant step towards you before placing his hand gently on your cheek. 
Or at least, attempting to. You flinch away and Harry’s hand falls to his side. “Y/N,” He starts quietly. “Don’t think-”
Your laughter cuts him off as your eyes flick angrily back to his. “if you wanted me to believe that, you wouldn’t come home smelling like another woman.” Harry’s heart freezes as his eyes widen. You pull his left hand up, “You wouldn’t leave your wedding ring out for me to see every time I was my hands.” 
Harry tries to pull his hand back, ashamed at the idea of his ring haunting you, but your grip only tightens. “You wouldn’t have a hickey. One I didn’t give you considering we haven’t had sex in months.” Your other hand is point hard into his chest to where a mark lays covered partially by his shirt. 
You let go of him as you fall onto the edge of the bed and look up at him with tears. He feels his chest constrict as he sits down next to you. He pulls both your hands into his, “Y/N...” He says quietly. “I am so sorry.” 
Tears threaten to spill from his eyes as you try to pull away from him. “Am I not good enough?” You ask quietly. He pulls you to him but you thrash in his arms. “Seventeen years of my life. Four kids. Everything. I gave you everything.” You’re crying but your voice is cold. 
You’re thrashing stops and it’s silent. Harry reluctantly lets go of you and you immediately stand up again. You look at him expectantly and Harry feels like he’s going to throw up as he looks down at his hands. 
“It didn’t mean anything.” he says quietly. Truthfully. “It never meant- I love you.” He stresses. He falls from the bed to his knees in front of you. “You’re the love of my life.” He thinks of college. His law school graduation. He thinks getting promoted and buying your home. 
He thinks of divorce papers as you look away from him. “How long?” You ask quietly. 
“Please.” Harry begs. Where would he go if you kicked him out? Mitch would tell him he was an idiot. He loved you. Would his mom take your side? She should, he thinks. Gemma would want to kill him. 
“How long?” You ask coldly. Your face has steeled itself. Harry can see the tension in your jaw and almost feels his dinner coming up. 
“A month.” He wraps his arms around you. He nuzzles his face into your stomach. He sees your hand twitch, almost like you want to run a hand through his hair. “It meant nothing. Y/N. I’ll end it right now.” 
Stupid. His head screams. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 
“Okay.” You unwrap yourself from his arms and step away. Harry watches you confused as you move towards your side of the bed. “I’m going to bed.” You rub a hand over your face before laying down. 
Harry stands awkwardly unsure of what to do with himself. He knew he couldn’t sleep in the bed. That something like that was probably the last thing you wanted to do. 
“Take a shower. Sleep in the guest room.” Your back is facing him and he sees your arms wrapped around yourself. This bed is too big for one person, he thinks. That’s selfish of you; His conscious tells him. 
He moves quickly to get pajamas from the closet. He debates showering in the ensuite, maybe he’d be able to see you again before sleeping, but he turned out of the room. 
He would shower in the kids bathroom. 
-
The guest room was cold. It was the only bedroom downstairs and that made it felt ten times lonelier to Harry. It was rarely used too. Gemma would stay in it when she visited L.A, but she had gotten her own apartment in the city and it was no longer used frequently. 
Your parents lived only an hour away and had no need to spend nights at your house and his mother was rarely able to make the flight over the ocean. It felt like something staged for the sale of a house. 
Harry sighs as he sits on the edge of the bed. With his head in his hands he thinks over where he went wrong. He had never meant for this to happen. For any of this. 
The distance had been a byproduct of the stress. He was worried about the kids. He had done the numbers and sure you two were well off, but four kids was expensive. You had stored any more you’d made from your book in savings. A rainy day fund didn’t calm Harry’s nerves.  
So he worked more. And he went out after work for a drink or two. And he talked. That’s what it had started out as. Just talking numbers over with Hannah, who helped him work them out. She wanted to be a divorce lawyer. Or maybe it was just broad family law. 
Harry thought that was ironic now that his marriage would probably be over. It was running through numbers. Maybe there was a hand on the knee or feet that were just too class together. Things he had brushed off as accidents and completely unintentional. Then it had been him walking her to her car. Then she had kissed him and well- Harry isn’t blameless. 
It would be ridiculous for him to say he was. 
He falls back onto the bed and lets out a shaky breath. How had he been so stupid? 
He sits back up immediately and pulls out his cellphone. He hadn’t even saved her number. They almost never texted and would usually just see each other at the bar. It had only been two weeks since they had kissed by her car. They had only-
He can’t believe he had let it get this far. He can’t believe he’s sitting here justifying himself with onlys. 
He’s unsure of what to say. Should he apologize? It wasn’t anymore her fault than it was his own. 
I have kids and a wife I love. This was wrong. I’m sorry. 
Harry flinches. He felt gross and guilty. The shower hadn’t done anything but sobered him up. He felt everything over and over. Nausea, a headache bound to come on, guilt and just pain. 
He pulls up Mitch’s message strain. Won’t be in tomorrow. Not feeling great. 
He responds within minutes. Hope she doesn’t leave your ass. I’d take her side. 
Harry lets out an empty laugh. Wouldn’t everyone? His mother loved you. She had since the two of you had met in college. When you had found out you were pregnant a semester before graduation his mother had been nothing but supportive; Especially when your parents had poorly hidden their own disappointment. 
Gemma thought of you as the sister she never had. Her and Harry were close, but over the last almost twenty years you and her had grown closer. 
His mind drifts to the kids. How could he do this to the kids? Force them go through what had been devastating to him. He may not practice family law, but he knew how it worked. You worked from home all the time and had been taking care of them their entire lives. 
They would ask the kids where they wanted to go, they would refuse to leave their mother. Harry would too, you were home to everyone in the family. Life without you sounded meaningless. 
Why did you do it then? He shakes his head. He doesn’t know. It wasn’t like you had stopped giving him attention, there was no time for sex and work got in the way of dates. It was his fault. 
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The word repeats itself over and over again in his head. . Even if he could find ways you had ignored him or cast him to the side it would be pointless. It would be placing blame on a blameless person. It was his fault. 
He crawls under the comforter. It’s nowhere near as soft as the one you had chosen for the bedroom. The sheets weren’t slept in so they didn’t feel as soft and worn. Harry thinks of having to find his own sheets and bed, his heart drops. 
He doesn’t sleep. Unable to stop the back and forth of how do I fix this and will she even let me try? 
-
Harry’s fingers tap incessantly on the drivers wheel as he makes his way home from Serena and Oliver’s school. Persephone had been pretty silent to entire drive to her high school, but Oliver had done more than covered for her with his stories. 
How had it gone from breakfast together at least once a week and and family game nights to Oliver wanting nothing more than to be in his mother’s car and Persephone sitting in pure silence. 
Harry’s mind trails back to you as he drives. You had barely spared him a second glance as you sat down to join them at the breakfast table. He had felt his hesitant smile drop when you looked away from him. And even though talking to the kids all morning had caused his happiness to jump, there was still pain steadily flowing as he thought of what your plan was. 
Would you kick him out? Selfishly, he thought that was his biggest fear. Not having you and the kids to come home to everyday and losing the comfort it had always brought him. he had taken advantage of it and now that it could slip through his fingers at any moment he felt disgusting. 
The drive allows him to wallow in his thoughts, but pulling into the driveway is a far worse feeling. Knowing that you were inside and could give him news that would kill him.
Was he allowed to feel that way? He asks himself. Like you leaving him would kill him, when it would be because of his own choices. He takes a deep breath and forces himself to straighten himself out as he steps out of the car and begins the walk towards the front door.
He mumbles apologies and empty words as he walks up. Unsure of what he could say to you to break the silence. When he opens the door, you’re sitting with Jack as he babbles and plays with his toys on the floor. 
“Forgot how much Olly could talk.” Harry settles on starting with. He lets out an awkward laugh as you stand and lift Jack up before placing him in the play pen. You lean down and tickle him gently. “Please don’t escape, little Houdini.” Once you let him go and step away the young boy crawls away with a giggle. 
You make your way towards the kitchen silently and Harry walks behind you with a nervous buzzing feeling in his chest.
You take a deep breath and Harry watches as you slide a piece of paper over the counter and towards. As his eyes scan down the list he feels a sliver of hope creep into his heart.
“What’s this?” He asks quietly. It’s names and phone numbers that have his heart beating a million miles per second.
“A list of marriage counselors.” His eyes follow your finger as you point towards each name and number. “For us to see once a week.”
The hope in him is growing by the second as words keep coming out of your mouth. “You’re not leaving me?” He blurts out in shock.
Your stance turns defensive and Harry takes a deep breath trying to calm himself. “No.” You answer quietly. “Not yet anyways.” Harry can’t help the furrow of his brow as the words hit him. It wasn’t definite and this was a test. You sigh which forced Harry to move his attention back to you. “We have four kids together. A life. And no matter how much you hurt me, I still love you.”
Harry bites back the smile threatening to cross his face. Because despite everything, you love him. You still did. You both glance at your ring finger when he notices you twisting the ring around it. “You’re the love of my life. I don’t want to throw that all away without trying first.”
Harry can’t stop the smile this time as happiness bursts inside him. “Y/N.” He says quietly.
He kind of zones out as he watches you go over what you want to do from here. Counseling and cutting hours back at the firm. Neither a punishment in Harry’s mind.
“I’m not sure if you like, ended it with her.” You start and he nods hastily. “I have. I did last night. I’ll never talk to her again.” He promises. He feels guilt again but part of is held back by the unadulterated hope he has now.
He debates taking the steps towards you before finally deciding it was necessary. When you don’t move away, he pulls you into a cautious hug, one that he’s shocked to feel returned.
“Thank you.” He whispers and you nod.
He would fix this. He swore it. This wasn’t a maybe in his head, it was necessary.
-
Your heart was glass I dropped it.
Champagne Problems.
-
Notes:
Just a small piece while you all wait for third main part to wkm! thank you for the endless patience. hope you all are safe & healthy.
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ktheist · 4 years
Text
(why) we got married | m
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synopsis. they say the 7th year of your marriage is always an uphill battle - but with the existence of your prenup coming to light thanks to taehyung’s lawyer slash family friend’s slip of tongue - first it reached your and his families, and then your family’s close friends and then your family’s close friends’ friends until - almost everyone is speculating on the grounds of you and taehyung’s marriage being anything but love.
you’re not sure if you’re even going to make past the second year mark in your marriage. but is the reason you got married really as important as why you choose to stay or leave?
muses. chairman!taehyung x stewardess!reader
alternative title. as you are.
inspired by. the 1 by taylor swift
genre. arranged marriage au with a pinch of drama and angst
words. 12.5k
warnings. explicit content
verse. knj. ksj. myg. kth. pjm. jjk. jhs. story time.
x
in your defense, neither you nor taehyung made an elaborated plan to deceive both his family and yours with the marriage which yes, had been founded upon a contract. but that’s not the point - the point is, your father and brother never sat down with taehyung and had a man-to-man talk. and his mother never sniffed out your reason for marrying her son being his abundance of wealth. but when all comes to light, thanks to taehyung’s lawyer slash family friend who made a slip of tongue - your parents and his were the ones most vindictive about who’s digging whose gold.
and to be completely frank, you were one article away from calling up your mother and telling her that you seduced taehyung into marrying you - just so she’d stop baring her fangs at mrs. kim. these days the headlines keep blowing up your mother and mrs. kim’s completely-by-chance meeting at a five star restaurant that erupted into manic yelling and pointing fingers.
“what did you say, you-” the audio bleeps for a split second before your mother in law’s voice comes back on, “-it was your daughter that seduced my son!”
“you crazy-” the audio bleeps again, “-you better watch your mouth or i’ll-”
the remaining seconds of the video are filled with bleeps that make it hard to even understand what either woman was saying. a wave of regret floods your chest as you scroll down the words strewn out into a juicy, tea-spilling commentary on your and taehyung’s past - the writer seems to pick up the minor little details that, in hindsight, leaves a big fat question mark out in the open.
when exactly did ___ ___ and kim taehyung start dating?
the answer was never.
the two times you and taehyung were photographed together was at a cafe near your office and the other, near his penthouse wherein you were discussing the terms of the contracts by yourselves. the one near taehyung’s penthouse being the final stage where you both signed it on your ipads. to the naked eye, you probably looked like you were on a date and being young professionals, it was only a given that both of you had some sort of electronic on you at all times - even during dates.
everyone just assumed you were together and with the assumption of being together, comes the conclusion that you were deeply, madly in love. was it the way the picture caught you two looking at each other with smiles on your faces? was it it’s sister picture that stilled you in a frame where you’re looking at your ipad and taehyung looking at you with the same - possibly remaining - smile from the moment the first picture was taken? that, you will never know.
but so it goes, you started going to socials together because taehyung needed some cleansing from his... charm-filled past. he used to go to those with different partners each week, and the previous woman that went with him always ended up refusing to talk about it or boasting about her ‘relationship’ with him. that was of course, after yoo now-kim jeongyeon got married three years ago. he used to attend those socials with her for the most part.
but someway, somehow, his public record was clean of any drama.
you would know, you’ve seen the man in action with your very eyes. on your 7th social event together, son chaeyoung had marched up to you and him like a ticking time bomb, red-faced and flaring nostrils and all. you were about ready to stand your ground when taehyung softly touched your hand that was around his arm and asked if you minded if he left for some fresh air.
of course you didn’t - respectfully, you couldn’t care less what taehyung does as long as it didn’t bring a negative light to you and him and the dynasties you both carried over your shoulders. everyone had their eyes wide open and ears perked for what was to come when taehyung walked chaeyoung out to the hallway. but nothing happened, and you were left to mingle on your own until he returned, looking devilishly handsome as always and strutted up to you with an air of refined sureness.
chaeyoung didn’t come back with him but everything remained quiet - not even a dramatic “stay away from my man!” at any point of your contract. you never asked how he did it - you thought it involved money, but over time, you realized it was just kim taehyung and all the things that made those women attracted to him. and just like a flame, he’d burned the moths’ wings until they couldn’t flutter over to him anymore after your wedding.
“uh, miss, we’re here,” the driver calls, meeting your eyes through the rear-view mirror.
it takes you a few moments to close the cover of your ipad and shove it into your handbag before pulling out bills that’s worth more than your car ride, “thanks, keep the change.”
and with that, you hop out of the cab, ready to put on a facade of grace and confidence. the staff who knows you greets you with a range of emotions, some with unhinged admiration from day one, others with curiosity on what’s truly hidden beneath those darken ray bans - without a doubt, aware of the drama going on between their boss’ mother and their boss’ wife’s mother.
either way, you make sure to return each smile and greeting like you always do. red lips sewn across your face like an ever smiling doll.
it’s only once you’ve entered the elevator and luckily left to your own devices, do you let your shoulder sag, the smile downturned into a frown all the way until a ding echoes into the small compartment and a red ‘8′ flashes on top of the doors.
you don’t fail to fix the secretaries a smile, relief flooding over you at how their warm - or was it profession-required - greeting hasn’t changed even after the rumors spreading about your inevitable divorce - of course, purported by you and taehyung’s mothers.
“son, if you don’t divorce that woman right away, i-i,” and here you see for yourself, the woman who called you ‘my daughter’ with the most loving voice, stuttering into a fit of rage, “i don’t think i can face my friends anymore - that bitch jihye has been slandering our family saying you used her daughter to get hold of the company!”
mina is about to knock on the door and announce your arrival when you hold a hand up before placing an index finger to your lips. she doesn’t need to be told twice when she nods once and steps back to leave you eavesdropping on your mother in law and husband.
“that’s fair,” there isn’t even a stuttered beat in his response.
“what-”
“that’s part of the reason we got married,” he goes on, “and ___ needs some help setting up her brother with some connection so it works out - and mom, please refer to ___ and mrs. jeon by their names, ___ is still my wife and mrs. jeon is the woman who raised her.”
“y-you-” mrs. kim stutters out in disbelief just when you decide to make your presence known, hand on the door, “you ungrateful child, oh my- oh my-!” you walk into the sight of the woman falling backwards with mr. ji the kims’ lawyer stretching his arms out to catch her, shouting “madam!” while taehyung launching himself across the room, “mom!”
mrs. kim ends up hospitalized.
“it was a case of stress and overworking that should go away with a good few days’ break,” chairman kim who also opts to assume his seat as part of the hospital’s doctor and a family friend of taehyung’s, fixes you with a reassuring smile.
the stethoscope and white robe gives off a more professional vibe than the sophisticated air you see him wear at family dinners.
“that’s a relief - it’s nothing life-threatening,” the smile you return doesn’t seem to sit right with him as his eyebrows knit together and a cloud seem to loom over his face.
“it’s really not in my place but,” he pauses, probably weighing out the pros and cons of offending you with what he’s about to say - but he doesn’t need to worry too much because after today, you probably won’t be seeing each other at dinners any time soon, “me and jeongyeon,” he means his wife and taehyung’s childhood friend, “are here for you if you need to talk - i know mrs. kim can be a little unreasonable at times, but give her some time. don’t give up on her.”
you nod once, murmuring a hollow ‘thanks for that, seokjin’ before watching the man strut down the hallway, the sound of his footsteps accompanying his leave. only when you’re left with the sound of your breathing, do you finally allow chairman kim’s words to sink into the deepest depth of your heart.
it’s not an easy task to keep your heart still and unbothered by your own mother in law’s words. even now, you can still hear her embellishing her headache, back ache, joint pains and every sort of non-fatal pains she has enough to get taehyung to stay by her bedside - so he doesn’t go home. doesn’t go back to the place where you two have built for yourselves.
and yet you can’t help but agree that - “if you’d divorced her just like i told you, i wouldn’t have fallen so ill!” she sighs, just as you’re about to slide the door open.
all of a sudden, the image of the delicate woman swaying and tumbling towards the ground flashes at the back of your head and you instantly recoil, as if the door was made from fire.
the fear of worsening mrs. kim’s health at the sight of you has you backing away, choosing to wait at the seat in the hallway instead. seconds stretch into minutes and minutes into hours until you feel your body being shaken.
your eyes which you never noticed fluttered close - snap open only to gaze at the face of an angel - a concerned one at that judging from the way his eyebrows knit together. and then you’re hearing the smooth baritone of his voice. you almost pulled out your phone from your purse to ask if you could have it recorded so you could listen to it as a lullaby.
that is, until you realize the angel’s disheveled wavy hair and eyes that look like they’re well on their way to falling asleep standing.
“taehyung,” the name slips out of your mouth with a surprised gasp as you note the pristine pastel background of the vip section, body jolting to sit up from your previously slumping position.
“have you been waiting all this time?” he takes a seat next to you - and only then do you notice the unkempt mess that he is.
the first few buttons of his shirt is undone whilst it hangs over his shoulders, untucked, tie hanging loose over his chest as he drapes his blazer over his arm. the sight is almost alien, especially coming from someone who can’t even stand a crease in his shirt.
“what time is it?” you wonder, reaching for your phone while he checks the rolex on his wrist - which proves to be faster than rummaging through your bag.
“seven-thirty - you’ve been waiting here for more than five hours,” and just your luck, right as the words hit the air, your stomach decides to remind you of the meal you’re about to miss if you stay here any longer.
the heat rushing to your cheeks a second later is immeasurably hot, “o-oh, okay.”
clearing your throat, you ask, “so how was mother? seokjin already told me but i wanted to hear it from you that she’s okay.”
“you know how mom is - keeps saying her head hurts from the fall even though mr. ji managed to catch her halfway,” in any other circumstances, you and him would have found humor in how your mother in law’s overembellished diagnosis to gain attention from you and taehyung - but this time, it’s only one of you she wants that from.
it doesn’t stop you from chuckling though, “it sounds just like her - maybe i should make some ginseng chicken soup to help her get better... or beef seaweed, you know, her...”
swallowing the lump in your throat is a feat - and unfortunately, you’ve failed terribly as taehyung gather you his arms.
only then, do you realize you’re sobbing like a child, emotions running wild as everything comes crashing in like a storm - his mother, your family, the whole fucking tabloids that’s being written and ready to be posted in the next few hours and the fact that the marriage may have been a fraud, but the bonds you made along the way had been more than just business. mrs. kim was a mother to you as much as yours is to taehyung. there may have not been any love between you two but you cherish his family like he cherishes yours.
“i’m sorry - for causing a- a scene - for causing mother to f-faint-” you weep and weep.
in your crying fit, you barely notice the way his arms tighten just the tiniest bit as he sways you left to right gently, one hand on the back of your head caressing your hair as he whispers something along the lines of “it’s not your fault” and “we’ll figure it out together.”
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and so for the nth time in your one year of marriage, you’re banding together to capture mrs. kim’s heart again. the first time you visited her with taehyung, she narrowed her eyes at you and demanded taehyung explain as to why he didn’t come alone through the very same eyes next second.
when the man pretended not to notice and even placed a hand on your lower back just as your steps faltered in a ‘i’m with you’ kind of way, she opted to stare out the window while you unpack the broth you made onto the table. the portion you poured into the bowl you brought was getting colder by the minute as you spoke to her, “mother, i made beef seaweed soup, it’s your favorite, isn’t it?”
the only indication that she was listening was the way her eyes scanned the bowl of broth in front of her and proceeded to keep them on the window until you had to leave.
and so goes your second and third visits being received with shoulders made of ice a kind of silence that never fails to make your stomach churn with a sort of nervousness you should have felt when you meet your future husband’s parents for the first time. but the first time you met mrs. kim, your chest was filled with nothing short confidence and woo her you did along with taehyung’s relatives and closed friends. at the time, you didn’t think what you were doing - fooling everyone into believing that you’re marrying each other for love - would come biting you in the ass.
if karma existed then this probably you getting what you deserved.
on your fouth visit, you’d come alone because taehyung had an urgent meeting to attend. mrs. kim spared you a once over just like a rabbit who voluntarily and follishly hopped into the lion’s den.
“mother,” you offer her a smile, “how are you feeling?”
when silence is the only response you get, you quickly rummage through the paper bag you’d brought with you, “have you eaten? i made chicken soup-”
“don’t bother,” her voice cuts through the air like a blade. eyes as piercing as spears, “sit down, i know taehyung has an urgent meeting - it’s the only way to get him off my back.”
you’re not quite sure what she means but you have an inkling that the reason her hostility has yet to reach its pique is because taehyung has been giving her subtle looks to ‘mom, be nice to my wife’.
with a nod and a smile that seems to be glued to your face, you ask, “how was the bibimbap yesterday?”
though she didn’t cut you off, her response doesn’t exactly shed hope to your efforts being paid off when she dismissively says, “i gave it to mr. ji.”
the immediate ‘oh’ that tumbles out of your mouth is purely reflexive even though you know she’s never touched the meals you packed for her. but having her admit it is a different kind of heartbreak.
“i see,” is all you can say as you feel tears prick your waterline, a lump in your throat.
“this,” she places a folder of documents she seems to have ready by her bedside into your hands and without any explanation, sends you off with, “if you have any conscience at all, you’d sign these papers and stay out of our lives.  even though i never read the contract but i’m sure a smart woman such as yourself would’ve thought to include the alimony as well - you understand what i’m saying right?”
you tried to say something - anything but at that point, the look in her eye already paints a picture of you clinging onto taehyung’s wealth. and yet you still tried, “m-mother, i-...”
but no words come out and as though her point had been proven, she’d huffed out a sigh and tuned you out like she always did on your previous visits.
so you walked down the hallway with shades covering your tear stained eyes and a skip to your step that oh-so-badly wishes to break into an unceremonious run to a place where nobody knows you. where nobody looks at you with rounded eyes for the briefest moment that easily translates to mrs. kim ___, wife of kadore’s chairman who married her husband for money.
but all you can afford to do is keep your head up until you reached the bathroom door, check each stall one by one to make sure no one’s inside before you finally set down the document and your handbag on the sink. the first sob hits the air as soon as you see the woman in the reflection’s reddening eyes and smudged makeup.
it takes you several breath-holding, eyes-shutting and a couple more sobs breaking through the cracks of your walls before you can finally pat some powder onto the patch of skin under your eyes and on your cheeks where most of the damage was done. by the time you’re back in the hallway with shades darker than the night sky, you find your feet melting and becoming one with the floor at the sight of a man with jet black hair standing at the reception.
and almost as though sensing the heat of your gaze through your ray bans, the man turns around to reveal a pair of doe brown eyes and the smile you’re so used to seeing now missing in action and replaced with a straight line.
“jungkook...”
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“how’d you know i’d be here?” you start once you’ve both placed an order for your drinks at the counter.
“how long are you going to keep doing this?” instead of answering your question with a real answer, jungkook heaves out a sigh, eyebrows knitting together in vexation as he fixes you with one of those ‘i’m not telling mom and dad but this is our problem now’ kind of look.
“how ever long it takes,” is all you say, reverting your gaze to the smooth surface of the table.
“are those the divorce papers?” you refuse to look at him but you know he’s burning holes inside the beige colored folder sitting underneath your handbag on the seat between you and him.
“i don’t know,” you shrug, shoulders squared as you meet his eyes through your shades, “i haven’t opened it yet.”
but jungkook being jungkook, he takes that as a bare affirmation, choosing to interrogate you on a different topic, “have you seen what people have been saying about you?"
“i don’t really care about what people say,” is all you have to offer.
“you haven’t,” he nods in conclusion, “they’re saying you can’t have enough of your husband’s money... they’re saying you’re coming here everyday to grovel over his mother’s feet to let you stay married - that’s how i know you’d be here. and judging from the looks of it, they’re not too far off.”
it takes you a good solid minute to stomach the new found information. you haven’t been checking social media because of those same exact malicious comments but that was just the beginning of a downward spiral of your reputation - you never thought your efforts and hard work of burning your fingers on hot stoves and redoing dishes to get a perfect one would be met with an assumption of groveling over mrs. kim’s feet all for your husband’s money.
“god, i need a smoke,” jungkook huffs, receiving a look from the waiter that’s setting your drinks down. only after she’s gone does he present you with another set of questions. “was he the one that paid off dad’s debts? all of them? even the loan sharks?”
“that...” you nod once, failing to keep your head high as you twirl the straw of your frappe around but don’t even take a sip, “and the money i said i had saved up and lent you to start your company,” you quickly add,“- but taehyung doesn’t care about that - he wouldn’t accept it even if you wanted to pay him back twice the amount.”
“then why are you...” it’s the way his voice breaks at the end that makes you look up only to see a man whose eyes are a little sunken and cheeks a little hollow - almost as if he hasn’t been sleeping nor eating well because of his foolish sister, “why are you letting that woman trample all over you like this? wouldn’t it be easier to just get a divorce-”
“that woman is my mother in law, jungkook. at least, practice the same level of respect you’ve been preaching about,” you speak over him - it’s funny how taehyung once stood up against the same woman you’re standing up for, for you.
when all that follows is silence, you go on. this time, in a much demurred tone, “and it’s not about letting myself get trampled over... if mom found out you lied about something and she’s acting like mother does because she’s hurt, would you just go on with your life like nothing happened?”
it takes a moment for him to register what you said before taking on a much less hostile tone though still just as firm, “___, this is your life... i don’t know what kind of ‘happy family’ delusion you’ve been living in but i’m willing to bet all my money that it’s not taehyung that gave you those papers to sign and made you cry in the bathroom stall for thirty minutes-” he throws you look, “yeah, i saw you go into the washroom after coming out of her room. i was gonna call you but you looked like you had to take a huge dump so i waited but we know that’s not the case now.”
silence lapses between you for the umpteenth time before you stubbornly announce, “i could’ve been taking a dump - you don’t know.”
the sight of jungkook’s jaw dropping and hitting the ground is laughable, if not for the fact that he’s shaking his head five seconds later. vexed. irritated, “this is getting ridiculous - we’re going home. now.”
and he doesn’t mean the penthouse that you and taehyung shares.
shooting up, his hand grasps your wrist and he would have dragged you all the way to the car if you hadn’t protested.
“jungkook, no - i’m not going anywhere,” pulling your hand back, you stand a good one head shorter in front of your brother which doesn’t do much for your cause.
“___, if not for you then do it for mom and dad - they’re getting too old to be worrying about their one and only daughter’s marriage prospect,” he tries to coax, knowing full well your heart would wither like a flower at the mention of your parents worrisome nature - especially when your business is out in the open no matter how hard you try to hide it, “and you haven’t been answering their calls either.”
“i know, i just-” before you can even finish your sentence, a flash of garnet and bridal pink catches your eyes.
“____... jungkook, i didn’t think you’d be in korea. how are you?” taehyung’s warm baritone is laced with confusion as he stares at your brother and then at you for a sort of explanation but before you can even open your mouth, jungkook’s already has his hand wrapped tightly around your wrist, “yeah, well someone’s gotta clean up the mess you started. ___’s coming back home with me - back to her real home.”
“i’m not - stop saying that and let me go,” you tug on your wrist only to wince at the pressure of his grasp, “jungkook, you’re hurting me!”
“hey, let my wife go,” taehyung takes a peaceful step forward, “we can talk ab-”
“oh no,” the laugh tumbling out of jungkook’s mouth drips with malice, “no, see, you lost your knight in shining armor privilege after you quite literally lied to our faces about how you’ll take care of my sister until ‘death do you apart’ when all it took was mommy dearest pretending to get sick while everyone labels my sister a gold-digging wh-”
you taking a step forward with a balled fist, is completely instinctive and you would say taehyung prancing towards the dark haired man with a fist that actually hits the mark, was also instinct-driven. except that he probably has better aim and his punches hurt more than yours ever would.
the first one, you admit was satisfying but when your brother ends up on the ground with your husband throwing blow after blow, you have no choice but to intervene.
“taehyung, stop!” the shriek that echoes against the walls almost burst your eardrums. you would have believed it to be mrs. kim if not for the fact that she’s nowhere in sight and you’re the one with your hands grasping onto your husband’s arms, trying to hold him back from sending blow after blow onto your brother’s half-conscious face.
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“taehyung, don’t stop,” you frown, taking a seat next to him while swiping the ice bag off his lap before gently pressing it to his darkened jawline, “seokjin said to keep the ice on the bruise for at least an hour.”
“ahhh - ow - ow-!” the man whines, eyes screwed shut as his grits his teeth together but doesn’t recoil from your touch.
“maybe you should’ve thought twice about throwing a punch at a trained boxer,” you shake your head, lips curling into an inevitable smile.
after taehyung’s had a round of punches in, jungkook managed to flip them over so that he’s the one pinning the elder man down. the events that unfolded after that were the least bit pretty. the nurses and doctors attending nearby patients rushed to the two struggling men and then there’s you, shifting the shouting to your brother to “god damn it, jungkook! stop being a dick!”
it took five men - doctors and just-arrived guards alike - to pry your brother off your husband who still tried to get a punch in and was held back by seokjin who finally arrived at the scenes with half a mind to knock the both of them out as he calmly orders for jungkook to be dragged into one of those empty rooms akin to the one mrs. kim is staying at.
because taehyung was the one who started the fight, seokjin decided that an ice pack would do for the taller man whilst he treats jungkook and orders the other doctors to go back to their post.
picking up the mixture of garnet and bridal pink roses, he stares at their wilted petals for the longest moment, face painted with dejection. they must have been specifically ordered for mrs. kim-
“these are for you,” your train of thoughts halts in its track at taehyung’s words. his hand levitating midair as though unsure of whether to hand the bouquet to you or toss them away, “or were,” then he captures your gaze and you don’t think you can ever find your way out of the maze he’s able to hold you captive in with just his eyes, “you deserve fresh flowers specifically plucked from its stalk - you deserve a whole garden, actually-”
“taehyung,” your free hand covers his as if to say, “they’re lovely, thank you.” placing the ice pack down, you cup both hands around the flowers, bringing them to your nose, “and they smell wonderful - i love pink roses.”
“i know,” the tiniest smile peeks from his lips, “you told me that.”
“i did?” you blink, surprised.
“at our wedding reception, you got a little tipsy and started sobbing because the roses were blush pink and not bridal pink,” the sound of his chuckles drums in your ears like hymns just like it did a year ago.
back when you were decked in an elegant off shoulder white gown after changing out of your wedding dress. you’d stood in the sidelines while your families and friends danced to their hearts’ content to the sound of the music. white champagne in your hand, the background beginning to turn fuzzy and your thoughts began to get louder.
it didn’t help that the object of your frustrations was smack dab covering every inch of the vicinity from the gargantuan rose covered backdrop, to the tiny vases in every single table.
the sob hits the air like the first raindrop. you had to clasp your hand to your mouth as if you were about to cough to hide your mouth stretching into your crying mouth - you don’t know how to explain it but your lips tend to morph into an unshapely sight whenever you cry and covering it when you feel the waterworks coming has always been second nature. as for the tears - they were concealable because the lights were dim enough.
but then there was someone next to you - he just popped up out of nowhere really and because you were standing in the darkest corner, you couldn’t pick out any defining features besides his height but you didn’t have much time to ponder on that as his question fills your eardrums, “so, how does saying goodbye to the bachelorette life feels like?”
“it’s terrible,” you’d wept some more and he shifted on his feet slightly, as though noticing the tear in your voice but luckily for him, he didn’t even have to ask because you were spilling your innermost thoughts out loud, “they- they gave me blush pink and garnet roses- i want bridal pink and garnet roses.”
“oh,” distinctively rang in your ears among the sound of instruments and joyful laughter.
then comes another input, “i didn’t know they messed up your request,” and you didn’t know why he’d sounded like he was about to murder someone.
“yeah and,” you sniffle, “- and i didn’t wanna say anything because- because i don’t wanna be that bratty bride who picks on every little detail.”
that morning, you woke up to a box full of roses and they were the lightest shade of pink. taehyung was already awake and offered to ring up breakfast for the both of you after he’d bid you a good morning and a “something came in for you.”
the gifts were prearranged to be sent to the penthouse instead of your suite but then again, there were chocolates and champagne bottles that made past the hotel doors because of its edible nature - the roses too... their fleeting livelihood seemed like you’d enjoy them better in your hotel room than a week later after you’d come back from your honeymoon.
the card didn’t even leave initials but had ‘roses for a rose’ playfully written in cursive black ink. your heart blooms a garden but your head is what makes you search for your newly wed husband, only to see him looking at you with a tender smile - one that you thought manifested because of your own involuntary smile when you’d read the note.
“i don’t think these are for us,” you could feel the frown setting into your features, causing taehyung’s own brows to furrow.
“i think these are for... me,” and so you told a tale of a woman with ambitions rather than stars in her eyes, who felt a compulsion to at least tell the truth to her husband and the stranger whom she met at her wedding. of course, omitting the teary eyed part and the blush and bridal pink roses part.
taehyung had easily chuckled while the staff set down plates of delicacies on the round meant-for-two-people-on-a-honeymoon table, saying, “he has fine taste - they’re from halls & tara,” after the staff left.
it didn’t occur to you that the h&t initials on the top right corner of the card stood for the most well known florist in seoul until he’d pointed it out, which could only mean he’d been suspicious enough to take longer than a glance at the flowers.
“do you mind if i keep them? at least, until they’re not as fresh anymore.” you quickly added the last part.
“you can keep them in a vase and have them live longer... why? are they not the shade of pink you wanted?” he blinked once, hand halting midair as he was about to take a mouthful of pancakes.
“well- no, they’re perfect actually - i love them,” you almost stutter in your haste to explain while trying to be casual about how devastated you would be if- “it’s just that... i really didn’t know him or who he was- but he obviously knew me because it’s hard not to know the lady of the day- i’m not breaching any terms-”
it’s the way the trickles of laughter filling the otherwise silent room that got you to clamp your mouth shut. the way kim taehyung looked so ethereal and majestic in the pristine black and white setting of the room.
“i don’t mind,” he’d clarified a moment later, eyes twinkling with the remnants of laughter, “i understand why he’d want to desperately send you these if only to see you smile softly like you did - you look beautiful when you smile, by the way.”
the compliment had caught you off guard and your heart might or might not have somersaulted but if there’s anything seven years of becoming a stewardess has taught you, it was to always prepare an adequate response to every situation - and at that time, kim taehyung was infamous for his quick wits and reputation with the ladies. of course, words sweet as honey would come easy for him.
“thank you,” and so were the words of gratitude on your part as you schooled a smile and dug into the pancakes your husband made.
but sitting on the black leather couch, holding onto a similar colored bouquet, you can’t help but blurt out, “that was you? i was bawling my eyes out because of some mismanagement to my husband who didn’t even recognize?” something between a disbelieving scoff and an irony-induced laugh escapes your mouth, “why didn’t you tell me?”
taehyung’s shoulder line shakes as he shrugs, hand going up to scratch the back of his head as he drops his gaze, as if searching for the answer only to look back up into your eyes with a, “i didn’t think you’d be as happy if you knew it was me,” his gaze falters, like a bud of fear blooming behind his irises,
“why wouldn’t i be?” you blink once, not quite understanding where he’s coming from.
that is, until a small smile slips onto his lips and it’s heartbreaking to witness and even more devastating to know you’re in no place to let your arms gather him into a hug like you wish. to kiss his forehead until his worries disappear.
he twines his fingers with yours, thumbing the diamond on your fourth finger, “i’m sorry that i took away your choice to marry for love - that’s a bit corny isn’t it?” he scrunches his nose and you can’t help but giggle, “it’s not just some short term contract since we both agreed divorce is never in the equation,” neither of you believe in tainting the sanctity of marriage - no matter what cause it was founded upon - with separation, “but god, the things you’re going through right now - i promise i’ll make things right.”
taehyung’s eyes tend to appear in different shades along with his emotions - though you know it’s most probably the lighting. dark brown is for when he’s scrutinizing the hollow smiles and empty compliments he gets at functions. but sometimes you find yourself catching hazel.
like right now, as they capture yours and look at you as if you’re the only one he sees.
“taehyung...” you thought you knew what you wanted to say when you said his name but as you get lost in the midnight dessert of his eyes, you’re not sure if you can even muster so much as a squeak without falling apart.
and that’s when a knock reverberates into the air like thunder, forcing you to jolt away from the man until no part of you is touching any part of him.
“hey,” a somber voice greets as jungkook leans against the doorframe, “so they fixed me up and the chairman wants me gone in,” he looks down at his wrist, “two minutes and fifty-three seconds.”
blinking away the remnants of the emotions away, you stand up, giving the man a once over. his button up is marred with a trickle of deep red a few inches over his chest, hair matted and face sporting different stages of bruising. the bleeding’s stopped for the most part.
“you’ve definitely seen better days,” you announce, walking around the couch to get to where the man is rolling his eyes at.
“sorry for calling you the w-word,” that’s definitely wasn’t what you were expecting which prompts the belated, almost suspicion induced,“...okay.”
“i did that because i needed to confirm something,” he goes on, eyes flitting over your shoulder where you know your husband is staring right back, burning holes inside your brother’s head before he looks back at you, taking a full 180 in attiude, “and don’t worry about mom and dad - i’ll take care of them.”
it takes you a moment to digest his proclamation, all the whilst hyperly aware of the hand that makes its way on your lower back as a familiar dior scent fills your senses, “so you’re not gonna drag me home?” as though disbelieving the words that came out of your mouth, you add, “that’s all it takes? a few punches to the face?”
the twitch of his eyebrow doesn’t go unnoticed by you. nor does the deep breath he forces himself to take at the blatant insult and insinuation of your future boxing lessons to which he warns, “don’t get any crazy ideas,” then he turns to the man next to you, “i let you hit me - let’s get that out of the way first.”
and before either you or taehyung manage to get a word in, jungkook hand comes flying to your forehead, a loud sound of skin smacking against skin echoing throughout the room as you tumble backwards with an audible “ow- hey!”, barely noticing the much larger hand that’s covering yours. inspecting the patch of skin where jungkook just flicked.
without even an apology for the uncalled for assault, he nods at something over your head, probably taehyung, “you take care of my sister, you hear me? cause there won’t be a second time.”
and then he’s gone like the wind - you would have tracked down that wind and give him a taste of his own medicine like you did when you were children. you’d jump on his back and attempt to bite a chunk of his head if your nannies didn’t pull you apart  - but right now, you couldn’t escape taehyung’s hand on your waist even if you wanted to.
“let me see,” he instructs, gently coaxing your hand to unclasp the patch of skin on your forehead so he could softly blow on it.
you stay like that, standing at the doorway with your bodies too close and taehyung refusing to unhand you until your cheeks are replaced with a different kind of heat than the anger you felt for your god forsaken brother.
“god he’s an ass - you should’ve messed up his face more,” you huff, and you don’t know why - maybe it’s the way you stomp your foot, maybe it’s the way your cheeks tend to puff when you’re feeling vindictive or maybe it’s a mystery locked in taehyung’s head that you’ll never know but his chuckles sound like hymns in your ears.
and you thought that was the end of the electrified sensation on your skin where his touch lingers until you feel a pair of the softest lips on your forehead, right where the flick was supposed to throb. a grinning taehyung looking back at you as if asking, “my nanny used to do this to me when i bump my knee against a furniture...” a flash of worry blooms in his eyes for the briefest moment before he voices his concerns, “hope the magic still works.
the sight is heartwarming. endearing even. and you can’t help smile, cheeks hot, “it does - it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
and just as you thought he’s about to release you from the torment of having your heart skip multiple beats at a time and step back, he presses another peck on your forehead. a smile gracing his features, “another one for good measure.”
it’s a surprise your legs are still holding you up with how jelly-like they’ve become.
“th-thank you.”
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mrs. kim discharged herself a week after the fight but not without standing in front of the hospital with her frilly fur coat and gucci handbag while she looks at the camera and consequently straight into the screen, “i have yet received a publicly apology for what jeon jungkook did to mine by the jeons. my taehyung couldn’t even kill a fly, let alone start a fist fight-” she shivers uncontrollably as though overcome with chills, “such a barbaric, uncivilized act can only come from-”
“you’re watching that?” a smooth baritone fills the room as a figure struts in beige slacks and oversized creme sweater, “again?”
he sits on the edge the backrest of the couch, looking down at you with an expression that makes your stomach churn. with butterflies or guilt for breaking your promise to stop checking out these articles, you don’t know.
“sorry,” you mumble, placing the ipad down a few inches from your feet as you bring your legs up against your chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, “worrying about how the press twists mother’s words comes from the plentiful of time i have on my hands after being sacked, i guess.”
it’s been a week since you’ve received your new schedule. to which you received a call right after to head to the headquarters in the heart of seoul only to be told that-
“___, you gotta understand, this whole fiasco going on with your family... it’s giving the airline a bad rep,” mr. bang leaned back against his recliner, his eyes hiding behind the beam of his glasses, “people are leaving bad reviews on the website that has absolutely nothing to do with our services but has everything to do with you and your husband.”
he meant the growing dissatisfaction upon the revelation of the artificiality of you and taehyung’s marriage.
nobody’s caught jungkook and taehyung in a video but there’d been witnesses and ‘sources’ affirming the two getting into a fistfight at the hospital. and so another record has been made in your long list of family drama.
“sir, please,” you could feel your eyebrows joining together from the sheer frustration and reality anchoring into the pit of your stomach, “i’ve been working for korean air -for seven years now- check my reconds,” hope blooms in your chest as you suggest the idea to your superior, “i’ve never been late, never had a customer complain about me, never made any mistakes prior to this-”
“it doesn’t matter what you did before this, ___,” he cut you off, voice heavy with emphasis.
but you weren’t backing out that easy, “please, it’s not fair to lay me off for something i have zero control in.”
at your wording, the man physically flinched, almost as though struck by a spear before he shook his head, denying your claims.
“you’re not fired,” he corrected, “you’re on paid leave... until everything calms down.”
it took everything in you not to let the frown slip onto your face. first it’s paid leave and then it a one month notice before they officially sack you - you’ve seen how this played out one too many times.
so you smiled, “with all due respect, mr. bang, how long is ‘until everything calms down’?”
the man’s shoulder line jolted as he shrugged, lower lip jutted out in a nonchalant nature, “that depends on how you choose to solve it, ___... i assume you are working on a solution, yes?”
it was a trick question. if you answered the affirmative, it’d be admitting what mrs. kim and almost everyone have been demanding - a divorce. if you answered no, then you’re as good as jobless.
“my husband and i are working on it,”  was all you say.
when taehyung found out later that night - he was livid. he was a phone call away from calling up mr. ji to sue the airline for discrimination. it took you stealing his phone away and running around the penthouse until you made him promise that he’d listen to you first.
he did, and you’d wanted to wait it out and see because, “there isn’t any damage to build our ground on anyway because i’m not fired yet.”
“well, dinner’s ready ” taehyung’s soft as silk voice tears you apart from your memroies, hand levitating midair until you take it, hoisting yourself up.
taehyung pushes himself off the couch, walking on the other side with your hand in his. it’s comical but endearing all at once and you giggle at how neither of you are willing to let the other go even though you’ll have to once you reach the four-people dining table.
“thank you,” you say as you lower yourself on the seat while he pushes the chair in for you.
home cooked meals have become a norm for the both of you ever since that day taehyung punched jungkook in the face. at first, you insisted that you should be the one cooking since he was injured but he stayed with you in the kitchen and you talked about your day and reminisced about your childhood and how you similarly had nannies that forbade you from coming into the kitchen.
then there was the peck on the top of your forehead he started doing a few days ago after you were sat and before he went around the table to get to his seat that’s across from you.
“did you go shopping today?” he asks in between cutting up the steak which he stole a whole plate from you into mini slices.
“yeah, with hwasa,” you nod - the woman had been all too delighted to see you after mismatched schedules and ghostly texts because of life and work getting in the way.
“the friend from high school?” taehyung surprises you yet again as he places your plate back in front of you, this time with the pieces all cut into edible bites. you’ve never mentioned hwasa to him - but it’s not a lie that she’s your closest friend from high school who got accepted into the same training programme as you at the beginning of your career.
“thank you-” you shoot him a smile before picking up the fork and knife, “and yeah, that’s her. we haven’t seen each other for months so we kind of went a little crazy with the dresses.”
he doesn’t look up when he speaks his next words which is why you have a trouble digesting them as you involuntarily blurt out a, “sorry- what?”
“the dresses you bought,” he reiterates, an amused smile on his lips - possibly because of your almost-choked state, “- can i see them?”
“oh,” clear your throat once, sipping down the red wine before chuckling nervously, “hwasa bought dresses - didn’t.”
taehyung hums, head tilting to the side as though trying to capture your avoidant gaze, “then put on whatever you bought that i saw lying on your bed - the door was open when i passed your room.”
at that moment, to say your heart quite literally crash against the floor, would be an understatement. it takes you a minute to gather yourself, another to force out a laugh as you attempt to brush the thought of taehyung seeing the black and red laces from savage x fenty hwasa adamantly insited you get after a story time on why you decided to get married to how something has definitely shifted between you and taehyung.
but no amount of gushing and squealing about made up scenarios brewing from hwasa’s little head could prepare you for what’s happening right at this moment.
“oh those?” a chuckle, “those are aren’t even worth showing.”
and just as you thought he’ll let the matter go like he would when you dismissively mention something that he inquired about, taehyung takes a full 180, eyes clouded with a sort of emotion you don’t dare delve into, “that’s for me to decide,” he takes a sip of the wine, pushing his chair back as he stands up, “i’m done,” with that, he places his plate down where geom, your mixed breen papillion and silky terrier shouts out an appreciative woof at the pleasant surprise.
patting the canine briefly, he turns to you, those clouded eyes seeping into your soul, “put them on - i’ll be waiting in my room.”
his footsteps echo against the walls as he ascends the stairs and disappears into the hallway where his room lies across from yours. it is a whole solid minute later, once you hear the door of his room click shut, that you make a beeline for the couch where your phone lies lonely.
dialing up the only person you know you can hold accountable for, you quite literally scream at the ‘hell-’ with a “hwasa, he wants me to put the lingerie on and show him!”
while your voice drips with dread, the other woman, choosing to be willfully oblivious, screams into your ears, “oh my god - oh my god. then what are you doing calling me?! go put them on!”
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and that’s how you end up holding in a breath while deliberately repeating hwasa’s not so helpful pep talk of ‘you’re the hottest’ and ‘kim taehyung will be wrapped around your fingers by the end of the night!’
“but it’s been over a year - i’m not sure if i even know how to moan!” you’d protested while pull the strap of the garter around your thigh.
that was half an hour ago.
now, you’re debating on whether to knock like you would have before you started cuddling into the other while watching tv. but before that, you’d never did anything together unless it was family dinners and gatherings.
so you opt for pushing down the handle. the sharp ‘click’ being the only announcement of your entrance. taehyung’s walls are a deep shade of maroon almost black with the lights on its lowest setting. the sound of music playing in the background barely registers in your mind as you focus your attention to the figure that’s pushing himself up from his laying down position.
you resist the temptation to run and hide under the comfort your covers - an opposed response compared to your confident stride, placing one foot after the other until you stand a good two feet away from the bed and taehyung.
“what do you think?” the smile brandished over your face is nothing like your racing heart whlist you do a little twirl- but then again, you’ve always been such an actress.
“if the world were made of diamonds, i’d choose the rose before me... because you’re the most beautiful thing i’ve ever laid eyes on,” you wonder how he doesn’t even blink as those words pour out of his mouth, hand finding its way in the dip of your waist. staring. admiring.
“always the charmer,” you want to curse yourself for the unoriginal come back yet taehyung doesn’t seem to notice as he lets you push him to the bed whilst his eyes undress what little piece of clothing you have on as you crawl on top of him.
your toes curl at the sound of taehyung’s excruciatingly slow exhalation - almost as though he intends for it to caress your ears and seep into your pores before settling into the pit of your core.
the sharp charm of dior fills your senses as you place kisses on his neck, tucking his flesh between your teeth ever so gently, not expecting the delectable surprise that slips out of his mouth.
who would have thought kim taehyung was a moaner?
the giggle that trickles out of your mouth is blamelessly involuntary but catches his attention nonetheless, “what?”
“oh, nothing,” you nibble on his earlobe before whispering into his ears, “just thinking of how cute you’ll look moaning for me.”
and you’ve easily add to the long list of things you won’t forgive yourself in the morning. yet you still caress his growing size through his pants, giggling when the delicious sound hits the air for the second time.
“take it out,” he whimpers after one too many teases, “please.”
“only because you said please,” the way his chin tilts to follow your lips after you pecked them doesn’t go unnoticed by you but you clasp your hand against his chest, pinning him down with a shake of your head “uh-uh, you get up when i tell you to.”
the excruciating ‘fuck’ that leaves his lips is what truly lights up the flame in the pit of your stomach. you watch as his hand goes up to run through his hair in a sexually frustrated nature but doesn’t attempt to push himself up after that.
it only takes a few pumps for the clear fluid of precum to trickle over your hand, letting you smear all over his hardened dick and causing it to glisten underneath the luminescence of the room.
sparks shoot through your core and strike your heart into an erratic rhythm when you lower yourself over him, holding the slit of the black lace undergarment apart until he’s hitting every delicious inch inside of you.
you’ve barely even started to move when you break out into a cry, falling into his arms like a puppet whose strings got cut off. the arms around you are gentle as they hold you against him until you’ve come down from your high.
by the time you push yourself up, your knees are still trembling yet you nod when he cups your cheeks and forces you to look into those concern filled eyes, “are you good?”
“i’m fine,” the sniffle is probably the last thing you need to convince him, “i lost myself for a moment.”
this time, it’s his turn to chuckle, lips curling into a smirk, “it’s completely understandable to admit that you couldn’t hold out for more than a minute because i stretched you out so good.”
you want to protest - want to gain back the control you lost when he hit that sweet spot not even, yes, as he says, a minute into taking him in. but one single thrust right against that same exact spot and you’re whimpering in utter submission and devotion.
“that’s what i thought,” that damned smirk is the last thing you see before you succumb to his every wishes and command until you find yourself with a strong arm banded over your stomach, another arm reaching for a pillow and puffing it up before you feel yourself being gently lowered face flushed into it - the smallest gesture of tenderness that you didn’t expect to witness when you decided to tease him in the beginning.
the yelp when taehyung’s hands slip under the strap of the garter, doesn’t even manage to form fully when a moan replaces it as he yanks the garter and consequently, your ass against him, forcing you to swallow his entire length in one stroke.
“god, you’re so big,” if you were a little sober and a whole lot more conscious, you would have added that into the list of things you said that you would cringe at in the morning.
but you’re already one orgasm down in the foreseeable long list of orgasms that kim taehyung promises you as he sinks into you, moaning out your name like a holy mantra.
“i know you love it,” he agrees oh so innocently for someone who’s about to thrust into you like a godless being.
five strokes in and you’re cursing and screaming out in pleasure, hands gripping onto the duvet for dear life as you feel you convulse into a state of toe-curling euphoria. the way taehyung stops moving and trails down butterfly kisses down your back until the tensed muscles in your lower abdomen simmers down into pleasured twitches, doesn’t go by you.
“you can move now,” another sniffle, but this one has completely and irrevocably succumbed to your rawest desires.
it’s the soft chuckle and the one last peck on your left shoulder blade that has your heart stuttering. ungodly opposite to the way he moves his hips as he thrusts into you without so much as a warning - your last two orgasms were just preambles. ones out of the many that night that has you writhing and moaning in pleasure. some of which were incited by sides of you, you didn’t know existed.
the last thing you recall is taehyung gathering you in his arms like he couldn’t bear to be apart from you even in his sleep now that he’s had a taste. it’s endearing and daunting all at once. because for the first time since your marriage, you’re afraid of losing him.
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a few days after that, you’re tying away on your macbook when taehyung comes home looking less like the man you knew. his hair, disheveled from having run his hand through them more than his hair gel allows. his eyes, carrying a sort of weight that latches onto him like parasites - or maybe that’s just the papparazzo that you noticed have been following you around. their numbers have decreased considerably after the rumor of taehyung hiring a team of lawyers which was no rumor at all.
it was the morning after you woke up with tingly legs barely able to function like it should and muscles sore but a sort of fullness in your chest when you noticed the man whose arms are wraped around you like a protective cocoon as he faintly snored away.
then came the muted sound of your phone from the other side of the hallway where your room door beckons you into its domain. it wasn’t as obnoxiously loud since it was at least twenty feet away and you would have ignored it and gone back to bed if not for the short interval signaling the person calling had finally reached the mailbox or hung up on their own. that was, before they hit call for the second time.
slipping out of taehyung’s arms, you trudged to your room with half a mind to give whoever this caller is a piece of your mind - god’s sake, the flashy red digits on your alarm clock stares at you at 5:23 in the morning.
“this better be good, hwasa or i swear-” before you can even finish the woman is already screaming into your ear like she’s being chased by an axe murderer.
“oh my god, oh my god - have you seen the news?!” except no woman chased by a murderer would sound this exhilarated, she went on before you could even get a “no one in their right mind would be checking the news at ass crack-” out.
“oh shoot, it’s still 5 something in korea, isn’t it?” she gasped - if you weren’t on paid leave, you’d be in hong kong, probably sharing rooms and getting tipsy in some club there, “but anyway, kadore’s chairman is suing insight, pullbbang and other websites for slander!” she shrieked.
"what?” you could feel the muscles on your face pulling into a contorted confusion but
after hanging up and telling hwasa you were going to look into the matter some more, you’d come up with multiple articles stating a similar fact as your overly enthusiastic best friend did. still in denial, you’d confronted your husband about it- he was still sleeping soundly when you strutted in and shook him up to which he confessed, eyes droopy and face puffy. the sight was so foreign to you because you were used to seeing him fresh and suited up but you’d found yourself making a little space in your heart for barely-just-woken-up-taehyung to reside in.
first came anger - you didn’t ask for him to do this, “what would everyone think if i went to you crying about a little bit of criticism for something i did do?” then came confusion because what exactly did you do that was so horrendously heineous to warrant these websites to write such malicious statements about you?
taehyung had seen every flash of emotions that pooled in your eyes and tugged on your fingers - you weren’t sure if he’d meant it but it successfully pulled you from drowning in your own thoughts, “i told you i’d make things right - these people won’t be able to say another word about you unless it’s the truth- that you’re a hardworking, amazing woman who deserves everything she has and yes,” he fixed you the most tender, sleepy smile “that includes the money i make - what’s the point of working if i can’t even provide my wife with the best?”
taehyung tosses the beige tuxedo onto the handrest of the couch adjacent to where you’re sitting with one leg up in nothing but a loose fitted sweater that hangs off your left shoulder. the half empty wine glass lies untouched on the coffee table since you’d put it down.
with a thump, he sinks himself into the leather material of the couch, hands cupping his face, as though if he rubs it hard enough, the deadset frown would go away.
before you know it, you’re padding over to the couch he’s on, hands finding their ways onto his shoulders, massaging the noticeable tension in his muscles until a grateful sigh slips out of his mouth, hand guiding your own to his lips where he presses a kiss on your knuckles.
only when you go around to take the spot next to him, hand smoothing out his hair, do you finally say, “is it the board again?”
mina has been keeping you updated on the turbulence that was caused by your fraudulent marriage being exposed. the chairman seat became taehyung by default when he got married as per his father’s will. but the board members have been vocal about abrogating his rights to succeeding kadore.
“there’s talk about votes demoting me to director,” he’s never sound so fragile - in taehyung’s long list of fluctuating interest from women and men to art and sculptures and to yatches and sports cars, kadore is probably the only thing he’s ever taken seriously.
you would know - seeing him decked in armani with soft wavy hair contrasting his strong features, weren’t your only reason for accepting his proposal of marriage. it had more to do with the way he spoke about the company. in a dimly lit room just like now, with a wine glass in his hand and the cityscape underneath that gave an illusion of stilled fireflies scattered all across the city, taehyung had spoken of his unforgivable regrets. the deals he’d let pass by. the merges he’d settled with instead of aiming higher. the brands he didn’t reach out to.
those regrets birthed fears and those fears were what made him even entertain the notion of a beneficial marriage.
or as the board likes to call it, an atrociously wickedly schemed marriage.
“they won’t have a ground to depose you to a director’s position if they can’t provide a solid reason,” you say and he blinks, clueless, hopeless.
it’s almost as if you’re facing a whole different man.
“what do you mean?”
“i’m talking about us doing what we do best,” you fix him a smile - one that probably needs a little convincing and grounding but a smile nonetheless, “we show them that the kims aren’t to be messed with,” you pause, letting the silence settle into brimming suspense before finally saying, “it’s been awhile since we’ve made a public appearance together, hasn’t it? how does lunch sound like?”
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and so goes your multiple appearances in the most top notch restaurant together. the lack of chauffeur wasn’t intentional but helpful nonetheless to prove that the chairman was hopeless and irrevocably mad for his wife that he’d drive all the way to wherever she was to pick her up and then drive them to the designated restaurant instead of the convenience of meeting at said restaurant from wherever you both were prior to that.
then there was the hand holding, hip grabbing and not going a minute without smiling and giggling about what the other said. to outsiders, it would have looked as if things hadn’t been all that different - except you’d finally came out of your 1 billion doller cave after the whole ‘fiasco’ with your families. but it was the little hand kisses and forehead pecks in between taehyung making mini runs to get to your side to open your car door.
and the ‘how was your day’s and which are followed by a ‘you’re still deadset on working, huh?’s each time you told him about your in-the-work resume since you’re ‘at the risk of getting a notice of resignation any time soon’.
“what if you started your own business? i could buy a whole building in nonhyeon-dong that you could make as your headquarters?” he offers in between twirling the pasta around his fork after you insisted that- “my job is the only thing that i’ve got going on for me to prove that i’m not a gold-digger that everyone thinks i am.”
“i was thinking more like travelling from place to place like...” you shoot him a ‘you know’ smile before adding, “a cabin crew.”
“one of korean air’s biggest shareholders are letting go of her stock because her color pencil business isn’t doing so well these days,” he nods, deeply contemplative, “they’re gonna be sacking a few employees if they don’t get buyers by the next two months,” he surmises with a concluding nod to which you end up laughing and almost choking on your food.
picking up the water on your right, you quickly gulp it down before clarifying as to why you found his statement so funny that you’d risk your esophagus in the process, “no, tae,” that nickname is also one of the little things that just happens - you don’t miss the tuck in the corners of his lips when it slips off your tongue, “it’s sweet of you to want to buy me a share of the airline i’m working for but that’s the thing, it’s your money,” you reach out for his hand, smiling when he meets yours halfway.
a warm pressure engulfs your hand as he squeezes briefly, “and i told you, what’s mine is yours.”
“likewise,” you fix him a grateful smile, “but i like flying. i like being a cabin crew - on top of holding onto my job to prove people wrong, of course.”
the longest pause hovers over you like a grey clouds with taehyung’s beautiful but contemplating eyes holding you captive. as though trying to take you out part by part, trying to figure you out.
“then, what would you like me to do?” the question catches you off guard, like being hit by a wild baseball even though you’re walking right next to a baseball field, “you’ve always been so good at taking care of yourself - when you broke down in front of me... at the hospital... i didn’t know what to do-” his lips quiver just the slightest bit, almost as though holding back invisible tears, “tell me what to do. because it feels like everything i do isn’t the slightest bit helpful. ”
all of a sudden, the sands of time seem to have stopped, levitating midair within the dip of the hourglass. it’s daunting but heartbreaking at the same time - the sight of raw fear and uncertainty that’s pooling within taehyung’d eyes like unmoving river - you never knew your attempts to hold up your values reflects as a declaration of nonessential to taehyung’s own attempts to reach out to you.
“i don’t need you - to fight my battles, to solve my problems for me - though i’m immensely grateful that you did,” you say after what feels like an eternity, “but i want you so... stay as you are, supporting me like you’re doing now.”
“i don’t know if that counts as support - i’m not doing anything,” he counters, eyes downcasted until you reach out your other hand to cover his that’s already holding your left hand.
“you are - you never invalidated my feelings of wanting to work, you encouraged me to do bigger things and that means you believe in me - maybe i will take up that offer in the future but right now, i want to keep doing what i always have been,” you fix him a smile, “and i want to do it with you by my side.”
the tiniest of smile that slips onto his face tells you that his heart is still in a state of unrest. unconvinced. but he’s trying as he nods, “if that’s what you want,” and you thought that’s the end of it. until the foreshadowing “but,” that comes a second later, “i’m not gonna stop worrying and trying to fix things - we’re married, your problems are my problems too.”
the chuckle escapes your mouth signifies the good natured jest of your next words as you summon your hands back, already missing the warmth of his much larger ones around you, “well we weren’t exactly on that term until just recently.”
a shadow casts itself over taehyung’s handsome face as he picks up his fork, “that’s something i’ll regret for the rest of my life - not getting to know you beyond the contract sooner.”
“everyone makes mistakes,” you shrug before taking a peek at his expression as you mention a certain free spirited woman, “besides, you were too caught up with jeongyeon on our first year of marriage.”
she had been one of the few people who’d managed to bring out a side of taehyung you never knew existed.
boyish. bratty. someone who actually bicker and whines about the littlest things and everything that was on the opposite spectrum the crisp, suit-wearing, slicked back hair, charming man you married. sometimes, when you go out to dinners or the little moments when you find yourselves alone while attending functions, you see glimpses of that playful, boyish side of him. the human side of him.
over time, you realize that that’s also part of what makes taehyung... well, taehyung. it’s just only recently that you start seeing more than glimpses of these sides behind closed doors.
the way his eyes widen is enough for you to know that you’ve hit the nail right on its head. if the incomprehensible stuttering isn’t, “that... i was... we didn’t-”
“i know,” you fix him a jesting smile, “you may be a certified charmer for the most part but you’re not a homewrecker, tae.”
lunch goes on with you talking about how your father and brother are thrilled to have you and taehyung over for your monthly dinner. to which the man was partly confused and partly shivered in his seat at the thought of sitting down at a table with two of your favorite men in the world no doubt shooting him daggers while you’re not watching - or pretend that you don’t notice.
“i can’t avoid father forever,” he laments, finally giving into his fate as you walk out the restaurant, “and i have a lot of owning up to do to your family.”
“as do i,” you hum in agreement once before murmuring a ‘thank you’ as he holds the car door open after tipping the valet.
it’s only five minutes into the ride, once the car rolls to a stop at a red light does he turn to you, “you know, you don’t have to... with mom, reconciliation is a two way thing and she...” you notice the way his grip tightens around the wheel, eyes darkening as he breathes in, grounding himself “- she even made you file for divorce.”
the papers she’d given you that day still lied in your drawer, hidden away from taehyung’s pyromaniac hands. you’d caught him almost setting them on fire when you he found it lying on the counter after he’d returned home. all because spent a good chunk of the afternoon staring at it before leaving it to take a hot bath, not realizing taehyung would be home any time soon. ever since then, he hadn’t been on speaking terms with mrs. kim. turned down offers for dinners and luncheons, as he had directly told her in front of you through a phone call, “...not until you apologize to ___ first.”
“tae, mother was hurt by our lies and i understand why, i can’t promise i’ll be as accepting if i found out the daughter-in-law i cherished so much didn’t marry my son for love like i thought they did,” you lightly pat his hand that’s on the gear but instead he captures your fingers between his and guide them to his lips as he traps you within those beautiful eyes.
“you’re too kind for your own good, you know that?” there they are again, hazel underneath the light. but clouded with a sort of emotion you can’t pinpoint.
but before you can even muster a word, his eyes are already focused on the road as the car propels itself forward. but he doesn’t let go of your hand. he keeps it twined with his between yours and the gear. almost as if he didn’t want to be apart from you if he could help it. and neither could did you as you rub tiny motions into the back of his hand.
in your defense, you’ve stolen a precious gem from her that no money or gold could ever replace. and no matter how much you cherish the bond that formed after hours spent on shopping, tea times and mother-daughter (in-law) vacations, you’re not kind enough to unwrap him from your little fingers.
a smile curls on your lips as you guide taehyung’s hand to yours, placing a kiss on his knuckles and watching as his own lips tuck at the corners.
you’ll just have to make it up to mother some other way.
x
note. if you enjoy this then please leave a comment either below or in my inbox! and check out the other members’ installments to the series filed under ‘verse’ on top!
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gucciwins · 4 years
Text
Weeping Willow
Harry sends his wife for a girl’s night, and their five-month-old baby falls sick.
Word count: 5,093
A/N: i am no expert on babies (unless it’s my almost two-year-old niece) but i have it on good authority this does bring down fevers. This was written for @tbslenthusiast dadathon. i hope you love it. xx
___
It's a Saturday night, and Harry tries his best to convince his wife to go out with her friends for a nice dinner while he cares for baby Willow.
Their five-month-old infant. The sweetest little girl to grace the earth in Harry's opinion. 
He's never felt a love like this, a never-ending love for his child. He swears he has never been more in love with his wife, his twin flame, for giving him the greatest gift he will ever receive. 
She's standing there cradling Willow in her arms as she begins to drift off to sleep. Humming a song she hasn't shared with Harry. Something special between mother and daughter. As much as Harry hates to admit it but their daughter is a momma's girl at heart. 
Willow feels that extra protection from her mother; he gives her all the cuddles and kisses, but there is no more special bond than when Y/N holds her close to her heart, and Willow settles down in seconds. When she is breastfeeding, Y/N tells her the stories of her childhood and when Harry and she were first dating. 
It's the irregular sleep schedule that Y/N has never once complained about. 
Harry wakes up at the oddest of times when he stretches his arms out to reach for Y/N to pull her close to his chest only to find her missing. More time than not, he'll find her at their windowsill, Willow getting her night time meal as Y/N gazes at the moon softly singing Lolo a lullaby that was once sung to Y/N. The moonlight bouncing off her skin made her look eternal as if she weren't real, and Harry just imagined up this life. 
But she is real, and she is all his, and their daughter is theirs. 
As a kid, this was the life he dreamed of, never knowing if it would come true or not. He will never stop being grateful for all he has in life, full of love. 
Harry is brought out of his thoughts when Y/N addresses him. 
"I don't know, H. She's a little warm." Y/N stands there, the back of her hand gently placed on her baby's forehead before moving it to Willow's cheek. She smiles down at her sleeping baby.
Harry sighs, extending his arms for her to hand him their small baby. She shakes her head, taking two steps back. 
Harry chuckles because he knew this would happen, but he forgot how stubborn she could be. 
She's wearing Harry's lilac robe, her hair curled, and makeup is done. He made her do a red lipstick because he missed it. It's one that Gemma gave her that's smudge and transfer free. Meaning he can kiss her with it all night long without his lips turning red. 
"Willow is fine. Maybe she passed some gas." 
She rips her gaze from Willow and shoots him a glare. He puts his hands up in defense. 
"If she starts feeling sick, you know the crying won't stop. She likes it when I soothe her."
"She's my daughter too. I can take care of her and soothe her just as good."
She kisses Willow's head, slowly continuing to grow brown curls just like Harry's. "I know you can, but there's this motherly instinct telling me not to go."
"My husband instinct is saying that my wife should go out to dinner with her friends for a nice dinner and some wine." Harry rebuttals. 
"I don't drink." She mutters into her baby's head as she adjusts her to lay on her chest as she sways side to side. 
"Well, then go crazy with the strawberry lemonade." 
She sighs. Harry knows she's close to giving in. 
Her clothes set out in bed, ready for her to throw on. Harry chose her outfit, and he's proud of it. Camel-tone flared fitted trousers, a black fitted v-neck, and a double-breasted twill blazer to tie the look. Her black Gucci 'sucker' boots waiting for her at the door to be slipped on then head out the door. 
"If I go, you have to promise to text me every hour." 
"Half hour if you really need it." He counters. 
She shakes her head, no. "If you do that, I'll be home by the second text." 
He nods, happy she agreed to go. She needs this no matter how much she had been fighting it. 
"Alright, Lolo, I'm going to leave you with your Daddy for a few hours. I hope you don't miss me too much. I'll make up for leaving you with cuddles for the whole night, munchkin." 
Harry's eyes well up, always in awe at the relationship between his wife and their daughter. Their beautiful five-month-old daughter who Harry, thinks is growing too fast. She's still on the small side, but the doctor assured them she was doing good. 
Y/N placed her in the crib that Harry put together with Gemma's help, who wanted to be involved with as much as Harry would let her. 
She stirs a little, but Y/N pats her chest softly, calming her down. 
"I'm going to go get dressed. Turn on the baby monitor, please?" She points in the direction of it.
"On it, love." 
She walks out and gets dressed quickly, knowing there's a reservation, and she doesn't like arriving late. Harry meets her downstairs baby monitor in hand as she stands boots safely on her feet. 
Harry shamelessly checks her out. He almost begs her to stay after seeing how good she looks, but he knows she needs this.
"Text me when you get there." He wraps her in a hug, not wanting to let go just yet. 
"Of course." 
She pulls back, looking up at him before leaning in to peck his lips three times; she walks out the door, bag in hand, when Harry tugs her wrist, turning her around connecting his lips with hers. It's a short passionate kiss, Harry's tongue fighting for dominance. She lets out a small moan. Y/N, let's Harry be the one to pull back, not at all wanting to break the kiss. 
Harry smirks as he sees the dazed look in her eyes. "Just so you know what you have waiting at home for you." 
"You menace." Harry leans on the door as she walks out. "I love you, H." 
"And I love you." 
Harry watched as she drove away before going back in and heading straight to the nursery, where his darling Willow is still sleeping.  
"Just you and me, Lolo," Harry whispers as he sits in the rocking chair and lays back to rest his eyes. It's like they say when the baby sleeps, he does as well. 
____
Harry wakes up when he hears a small sneeze. He peeks at Willow, but she still has her eyes closed. He picks up his phone to check how long he slept and is shocked. It was only twenty minutes; he felt like it had been much longer now, feeling a bit more energized. 
He sees a text Darling and opens it, 
I've arrived safely. 
I miss you both so much already. xx 
Harry can't help but smile. He misses her already. He might always be playing music in the house that fills the silence, but Harry only does it because she sings along to each song no matter how bad she can butcher the lyrics to an unknown song. 
She fills the home with warmth and love. 
I love you! Lolo is still sleeping. Have a lovely night. xx 
Harry sat in the rocking chair, just gazing at his daughter. Her cheeks were a little red, but he thought she might be a bit warm. He unwraps the blanket, just watching her stretch out her small fists. 
Willow slowly blinks her eyes open, a small smile on her face when she sees her father looking down at her. 
"You up, Lolo? No more sleep, I'm guessing." 
She continues to stare at Harry before turning her head to the door. Harry knows she's waiting for someone to come in. After a few moments of no movements, Willow looks at Harry, giving her a small smile.
"Waiting for your Mum, I know. She'll be back later; for now, it's you and me." 
Harry reaches in to pick her up, gently shushing her, not wanting her to start crying. He walks down the stairs slowly, the fear of tripping down the stairs more present than ever with his baby in his arms. 
Harry sits her on the couch, a pillow propped up on the back to help support her back, and grabs her stuffed bunny that was left on the coffee table. It's her favorite toy to play with at all times. 
Willow sets it in her lap, not at all looking at it, eyes on Harry. He sees her eyes begin to well up, and he knows the tears are coming. He scoops her up gently, letting the bunny fall to the floor so Harry could soothe his baby. 
"My Willo baby, no tears. You know it breaks my heart." He begins shushing gently. Gemma swears by it watching Alice do the Ss in New Amsterdam. Y/N does it too, her grandma teaching her that when she helped watch over younger cousins. 
This settles her for a second, resting her head in the crook of Harry's neck as he rubs a hand gently down her back. "Good baby, Momma would be proud of us." He knows he made a mistake once she lets out a loud wail. 
He can only assume the word Momma did it for her. 
His phone alarm begins to ring, meaning it's the hour update, and if he doesn't check-in, she'll call, and if he doesn't answer, she'll worry even more and drive herself more. He does not need that happening. 
Harry will not let her call; he'll send a sleeping photo of Willow to Y/N to keep her calm because he can do this. He can tend to his child alone. She's half of his DNA; why wouldn't he be able to. 
His Mum always told him babies cry for three reasons: dirty diaper, sleepy, and hunger. He assumes she's hungry. Has to be, her diaper doesn't feel full, and she also doesn't smell. 
As Harry goes to the kitchen, he stops at the fridge. He sees all the magnets that Y/N loves collecting when visiting a new country, state, or city. Her favorite being the Trevi Fountain. Tells her every time she sees it, she can see Harry down on his knee, tears in his eyes and heart wide open for her. Safe to say it became his favorite as well. Right under it is a yellow sticky note "Just in case xx Dr. Harp" The phone number of Willow's pediatrician. 
Y/N really is the best, but he knows that he has everything under control, or at least he keeps telling himself that as Willow continues her crying, no amount of words calms her. He'd also call his Mum before the pediatrician, who would only end up calling Y/N. 
"Mummy left your milk in the fridge; now, all we have to do is warm it up." 
Willow's cries go quiet for a second at what Harry can only think was at word milk. He can do this. 
They don't bottle feed her as often, both preferring her to breastfeed directly from Y/N. Harry encouraged her to pump milk because Y/N has complained over too many milk stained shirts. It has helped her tremendously. A few times, when Y/N was too tired to get up, he offered to warm the milk to feed Willow. Y/N knew how important it was for Harry, so she allowed him and began pumping more for Harry to help provide her during the day. 
He gets a bowl and fills it with hot water, then places the bottle in. He knows it should be a few minutes, he begins singing to Willow. He sings her the song he wrote for his sister, which holds meaning to Y/N now, finding a connection that makes them feel at peace when hearing the song. As Harry gently sings 'Sweet Creature,' he sees her settle, nose runny from the tears, he grabs one of her clothes that Y/N keeps in the kitchen. Truth be told, she has them spread all over the house to have one on hand when necessary. He wipes the snot then drapes it over his open shoulder. He checks the temperature, able to hear Y/N scold him in his head for wanting to skip the step. 
"Lolo, going to go sit down, and then you can begin eating." She blinks up at him, her green eyes unfocused, refusing to settle on one place of his face. 
He sits and adjusts Willow to cradle her in his arms. He does a final temperature check on his wrist and is happy with the outcome. He slowly brings it up to her lips to startle her, and she latches on after a few seconds. 
Harry leans back on the chair, releasing a long sigh. He feels victorious, even just for a moment. 
The phone on the couch seat next to him displays a text:
 I love you both. xx 
He's in the clear. 
Harry sings Willow the first song that pops into his head, well he mainly hums as she has her eyes closed and a fist clenched on her blanket and the other tucked in. He pulls the bottle away once he sees no more movement. He wipes the outside of her mouth very carefully to not disturb her. 
"Willow, Angel, I need to burp you. You shouldn't even feel it." Harry likes warning her; he knows she understands. 
He's done relatively quickly, settling her back in his arms to let her sleep. Harry would love to turn the television on, but he settles for staring at the angel in his arms. 
Harry frowns when he sees Willow's eyes flutter open. She sleeps longer after eating. 
"Lolo, it's barely been ten minutes. That's not enough for a growing baby. You need to grow up to be strong, just like Momma."
Willow lets out a small cough. It startles Harry, not having heard the sound before. He gently picks her up and begins patting her back, soothing her as she calms down. 
Harry thinks back to the phone number stuck on the fridge but shakes the thought away because one cough is not enough to make a call, especially this late at night. 
He is now slowly walking in front of the couch, trying to get her to fall back to sleep. It's not working. 
It starts off in small whimpers before turning into loud wails. 
This is not good. 
Harry tries his best to place his baby's cries, but it does not sound familiar. He isn't calling Y/N; worrying her is not part of tonight's plans, but there is someone in mind who will always answer him. Without thinking twice, he goes to favorites and picks the second person. 
"Hello love, how are you?" 
He's greeted by a calming voice, but it does nothing to soothe the pounding in his heart. "Hi, Mum." Harry isn't even sure she heard with Willow's loud cries. 
"Is something wrong? Why is little Willow crying? Where's Y/N?" Anne is quick to jump in.
"Today was her first girl's night out that I was insistent she go out to even though she didn't want to, but she should be back in the next hour or so." He addressed that question before jumping into the most important one. "Willow coughed then settled down before bursting into this cry. I've never heard it before. It's not her hungry one because she ate half an hour ago, and her diaper is clean." He lets out a sob he didn't know he was holding back. 
"Oh, dear, right. First off, is she hot? warmer than usual." 
Harry pulls her back, face scrunched up, nose full of snot. He places the back of his hand on his forehead, and it's burning. "Yes, she's warm. But couldn't it be from the crying?" 
Anne sighs, worried for her son, but this is parenthood having to see your child get sick and old help them through it. The first time is always the worst, but each time after that still breaks your heart. "No love, check her temperature and call the pediatrician. Tell her the symptoms, and you can go from there. Right, hang up, call Y/N, and the pediatrician in that order." 
Harry agrees to get her off the phone and to make the call right away. Anne knows Harry well enough that he will skip one important thing she told him to do, so she takes it upon herself to get it done. 
 He heads upstairs, sitting the still crying Willow in the crib as he searches for the thermometer he knows Y/N keeps next to the wipes for emergencies. He is quick to take off her shirt as gently as one can be and sticks it under her armpit as he waits for it to ring as he dials Dr. Harp.
There is an answer on the third ring, just as the thermometer beeps. 
"Dr. Harp, hello, it's Harry Styles, father of Willow Styles." He says in a rush.
"Yes, Mr. Styles, what can I do for you." The doctor's voice is kind, and it calms Harry knowing there's a professional helping him. 
"Well, my daughter slept about ten minutes before waking up after eating, and that isn't normal for her. She had a bit of a cough and has not stopped crying for the past twenty minutes now. She's burning up Doc. The thermometer says 103F. Shit, I meant 39C. My wife's family got us a fancy thermometer that gives us both numbers." He feels the need to explain a hand on the back of Willow's head, trying to calm her down as well as himself. 
"Well, it seems it could be a common cold. There is not a lot to do, except keep your baby drinking milk. Mrs. Styles is still breastfeeding, correct?"
"Yes."
"Okay, it's important to keep her hydrated and check with her through the night. To bring down the temperature, a lukewarm bath would help as well as a humidifier because, from the sounds of it, she is a bit congested." 
Harry nods along to everything she is saying, repeating it back. "Thank you so much, Dr. Harp." 
"It's no problem; if the fever doesn't break or gets higher than 40C, then I suggest you head straight to the hospital." Dr. Harp says her goodbyes as he picks up Willow and heads to their bedroom, taking her into their bathroom. 
He looks around, not sure what to do first that he misses the sound of the door opening and closing as well as footsteps up the stairs. It might have also been Willow's crying. 
Willow lock's eyes with Y/N over Harry's shoulder, stopping for a second, causing Harry to gasp before she starts up louder than before for not being in her mother's arms. 
"Willow, darling," Y/N smiles at her daughter, cheeks red and nose snotty but still her beautiful baby. 
Harry feels like he can breathe properly now that she's home with him. His missing half home, finally feeling complete. He does feel awful for not calling her right away, but he swore she was having a good time. 
Harry hands over Willow to Y/N's waiting arms watching as she cradles her close, pressing repeated kisses to her daughter's brown hair. Willow instantly clenches a fist onto her necklace, not that Y/N minds, but Harry feels guilty for depriving his daughter of her mother. It was his fault she was out tonight. 
"How'd you get here so quick?" Are the first words Harry thinks to say. 
Harry thought she'd be mad at him for not calling, but all he sees are her kind and gentle eyes he fell in love with. 
"Anne called me to update me, but I was already ten minutes from home. I had dinner but got it to go having that nagging feeling you needed me. Anne called it mother's intuition, but" She breathes in Willow's smell, Harry finding it endearing how she always says she smells amazing like peaches. "I swear I could feel how distressed you were. I thought you were having a bad time, so I got you ice cream and brought home a meal we could share." 
He leans against the sink, a small grin forming on his face. "I did always tell you we were soulmates." 
Y/N steps further into the bathroom, heading to the tub to get the water-filled. She sits on the toilet, letting it fill before dipping her hand in from time to time. It feels a bit less than halfway before she closes the tap. 
"Doctor's orders were getting the temperature down, right?" Y/N asks Harry, and he nods. "Well, in the lukewarm bath, she goes." Y/N fakes as if she is going to place Willow in before hugging her to her chest once more. "I'm only playing." She boops Lolo's nose.
"Your momma thinks she's so funny, Lolo." Harry rolls his eyes at her, not at all, hiding the love behind them. 
"Get in the bath with her, H." Y/N has successfully undressed Willow, giving her kisses all over, causing Willow to let out a small giggle. 
Harry near tears now. "That's the first time she laughed this entire night." 
"Honey, listen. She hasn't gotten sick before. It's okay, we're learning." She reaches a hand up to cup his cheek, and he leans into it eagerly. "We are learning together." He nods as she pulls her hand away. "Now, do I need to undress my other baby as well?" 
He smiles. "You're welcome to, but I got this." He slips off the black shirt and grey sweats, leaving on his briefs.
The water is perfect. Not that he expected any different because she does everything with extra care and love for Willow. He's glad to have her as his life partner and mother of his child and future children. 
He slips in, sitting down, letting Y/N gently place Willow on his bent knees. He cups her head, gently sinking himself lower. She hands him a cloth, and he looks at her, eyes wide. 
"Wet it, rinse it a bit, then just sponge it around her." 
He nods but doesn't move to receive it. Y/N moves forward, dips it in the water, and squeezes it leaving a bit of water. She gently gets Lolo's back patting before moving down. 
"Thank you." He says and accepts the cloth. 
Y/N makes her way to the bedroom. "You're leaving?" He questions, causing Willow to look at her as well. 
She laughs at her two loves, both wanting her close. "Going to turn on the humidifier. It's going to be good for her and her congestion. Then will get you both a new change of clothes before coming back. Is that okay with you both?" 
Harry looks down at Willow that still has her eyes on her Momma. "What do you think, Lolo? Think we should let Momma take care of us." He hums as if hearing her response. "She said not to take too long." 
"Wouldn't dream of it." 
Harry settles in, Willow moving her hand in the water, intrigued by the ripples allowing Harry to rinse her. He feels good, feels great, and can honestly help her and no longer cry about it. 
Y/N knows he needs this but hopes she isn't feeling too awful about leaving Willow when she got sick for the first time.
For all, he knows she could be crying in their bedroom or, even worse, the nursery where he can't hear her. 
But that's what Harry is here to remind her what a fantastic team they are and how she saved the day like always. He's proud of her just as he knows she's proud of him. 
____
It's twenty minutes when Y/N walks back in. Now dressed in grey sweats and an old white shirt that Willow loves to cling on. She approaches, and Harry raises Willow so that she can wrap her in the yellow towel. 
"My munchkin smells so good." She kisses her cheek. She turns to look at Harry with a smile on her face making him smile back. "Shower, I'm going to dress her, and then I'll bring your clothes in."
"Okay, love." 
Harry drains the water before turning on the showerhead, letting the warm water wash away the stress in his body. He doesn't take too long, wanting to cuddle his two girls all night long.
Walking out, dressing in the warm clothes that she must have thrown in the dryer for him knowing how he likes to be warm after a long night. He smiles, slipping the shirt over his head, slipping on the black sweats with no need for briefs. Turning off the bathroom light, closing the door, he sees Willow lying on Y/N's chest. 
"How is she doing?" Harry paddles over, hovering over Y/N to kiss her forehead, doing the same to Willow.
"Better, the temperature is at 98." 
Harry smiles, glad she's under three digits again. She looks sweet dressed in a bodysuit with small bumble bees all over. Y/N wrapped the knitted mint green blanket that Y/N's mother made for Willow around her shoulder to keep her warm but not enough to overheat.
"That's great. Our baby is so strong." Harry gets in bed and sits against the headboard, making Y/N shift over to rest her head on his shoulder, arms wrapped around Willow for support. 
____
It's an hour of silence basking in hearing their baby's breathing. Not as smooth due to the congestion but better than before. Harry places a kiss on Y/N's forehead when he feels the first tear, then many more follow. A sob breaking out, but breathing even to not disturb their sleeping baby on her chest. 
"Love, lovie, hey. Don't cry. She's doing better already." He wraps the arm tighter, hoping he can transfer all his love for her through the hug. 
"I'm just overwhelmed." She chokes out. 
Harry sits up to face her, reaches his hands out to wipe her rapidly falling tears.
"Please don't be mad with yourself; if there is anyone to be mad at, it's me." He pleads for her to understand. "I told you to leave us be." 
"Not mad at you, honey." She whimpers. "I-I-I'm upset I wasn't here to help you. But you handled it so well. Very proud of you." 
Harry sits there, tears falling out of his eyes now because she was proud. He did nothing. He knows he did nothing; he called his Mum and the doctor. He never got her to stop crying.
"I didn't do anything."
"Honey, you did." Her voice firm, one hand reaching up to gently raise his head to look at her. "You called Anne because you knew she would help and then called Dr. Harp for help." 
"But she never stopped crying, not until you held her." 
She shakes her head. "She was feeling bad, she cried at discomfort and unusual feelings. Might have also sensed your panic," She teases. He lets out a small chuckle. 
"We're a team. Together and apart, H." 
Harry lays down on his side, pulling Y/N down with him. He does it slowly to not move Willow; Harry lays his head on her shoulder, looking down at their baby. He lets himself relax, knowing she's going to be okay.
"I love you." He whispers. No response causing him to look up at a grinning Y/N. "Say it back." 
She giggles. "Thought you were talking to Lolo." 
"That was for you, wife." 
"My bad," She pecks his nose. "I love you, H." 
"Missed." He mutters, puckering his lips in her directions. 
"Dork." She closes the small distance and hums at the sweet taste that is Harry and mint toothpaste. He deepens it for a few seconds before pulling back. His eyes closed. He kisses her from her cheeks to her collarbones, no spot left untouched. He steals one more kiss before settling down. 
"Sleep tight, my darling, Willow," Harry whispers, throwing his arm over Willow's small body and Y/N's stomach for extra protection.
He peeks one eye open to see Y/N smiling down at Willow, no sign of sleep in her features. "I take it you won't be going out anytime soon again." 
"You got that right." She jokes. "No, it was nice. I forgot how good it is to chat about anything other than what size diapers she's going to need next."
"That's not all we talk about. We also talk about the size of your boobs." 
She snorts at his comment, and he happily joins in. 
"We haven't had a date night, well we have but indoors with a baby always in arms." 
Harry smirks. "What do you have in mind, love?" 
She blushes, "We go away for the weekend, leave Willow with Anne or Mitch since he keeps saying we keep his goddaughter away from him." 
"You'd be okay with that?" Harry checks, making sure she really wants this. 
She nods. "I'll miss her like crazy, my heart is beating faster just at the thought, but I miss you." There's a gleam in her eye, one when she gets lost in a memory. "It's quickies and late-night conversations. As much as I love our daughter, I miss my best friend." 
Harry grins, glad she's sharing this. "Any other time, I'd make a joke, but honestly, I miss you just as much." 
"Then, coordinate with Jeff on a weekend you're free and look for a place we can go to. Driving or flying whatever you find best." 
"Oh, baby, I'm going to make you fall in love with me all over again." 
"I'm counting on it, Harry." 
Harry helps Y/N drift off to sleep with his ideas of where they can go and all the naughty things they will get up to. 
Harry knows nothing in life will be better than being in the arms of his two favorite girls.
___
Thank you for reading. Please reblog it means a lot to me. 
Come and tell me what you thought of Weeping Willow 
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yellowsuitcase · 3 years
Text
In the Prefect’s Bathroom Part 4 // Draco Malfoy
A/N: Guys!!! It's the FINAL part, yay!! I'm super proud of this and I think it's super cute and just AAHH I really hope y'all like it. Lemme know what you think of it and if you expected any of it. Thank you so much for reading, and Happy Thanksgiving (if you celebrate it)
Summary: Draco has been trying to get Y/N to talk to him since he confessed, but he hasn't had any luck. Until, he finds something she left in his dorm.
Warning(s): SMUT! Unprotected sex, lots of fluff, swearing, angst
Word Count: 5k
Masterlist & Taglist
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Three weeks had gone by, and now Draco was on his bed, toying with the idea of giving up. Y/N had been avoiding him ever since that day he confessed. No matter how hard he tried to get her to warm back up to him, she kept her distance. He had tried everything. He'd sit next to her in class; she'd move seats. He'd wait outside the Gryffindor tower; she'd strut right past him. It seemed as nothing was working, so of course, he was getting a bit discouraged.
Just a couple days ago, the two of them had been in Charms class, and on his way out, Draco noticed that Y/N had dropped her book. This is my chance, he thought to himself. He quickly bent down to pick it up since he assumed she would've been already halfway down the corridor by the time he got back up. But when he arose from the floor, she was standing right in front of him. His heart pounded in his chest. Draco knew he had to stall for time, try and get her defenses to weaken. He turned the book over in his hands. "The Tales of Beedle and Bard," he read aloud. Y/N blushed and averted her eyes. He opened the cover and read the first few lines to himself.
There was once a kindly old wizard who used his magic generously and wisely for the benefit of his neighbours. Rather than reveal the true source of his power, he pretended that his potions, charms and antidotes sprang ready-made from the little cauldron he called his lucky cooking pot.
Draco shut the book and said, "I've actually never read them. My father didn't permit me to. Said it was written by a muggle lover. Supposedly he filed an official request to remove it from Hogwarts's shelves." Draco chuckled as he ran his finger along the spine of the light blue book. But his laughter died when he glanced up at Y/N. She looked rather upset, causing Draco to panic and quickly backtrack. "That isn't to say I don't want to read them now. I mean, I'm sure they're not as bad as Father thought they were," he sputtered. Y/N remained silent. "Perhaps... we could read them together, maybe?" he asked hopefully. He knew it was a shot in the dark, but he did it anyway. Draco hadn't heard Y/N's voice in weeks, and it was making him grow desperate.
Softly, she reached out her hand, and Draco held his breath. But then her fingers grasped the book, and the Slytherin felt his heart shatter. He cleared his throat, trying to push away the lump that had formed in it. His grip loosened, and Y/N pulled her book towards her chest. She didn't even look at him before she turned around and rushed down the hallway, leaving Draco feeling stranded, hopeless, and, quite frankly, stupid for even trying.
Since then, he hadn't put in nearly as much effort into rekindling their friendship. It was painfully obvious Y/N wanted nothing more to do with him, and as much as it hurt, Draco had to accept that. But that didn't stop his thoughts. It couldn't. Every night, he would lay awake, worrying. Worrying about Y/N's wellbeing. Was she happy? Did she make any new friends?
Did she still feel alone?
Draco didn't know. From the little he'd seen of her, he assumed she was alright. He hoped she was. But he had no real way of knowing. He had tried reaching out to her roommate multiple times, but all Stephanie would tell him was that she thought Y/N seemed fine, just a bit quiet. That answer never sat well with him. During those few weeks, before he confessed, he had learned so much about Y/N. One of those things being that she was not quiet. She had talked his ear off many times, telling him funny stories from her childhood. Like how, after one of their study sessions, she told him about the time she had made her pet fish turn yellow just by looking at it. Draco remembered that day clearly.
"My mum was terrified! One moment my fish was blue and the next he was yellow! I mean, imagine that." Y/N laughed. Draco shook his head in disbelief. "Sounds like you were quite the little mischief-maker," he replied as he twirled his wand between his fingers, it was becoming a bit of a habit. Y/N continued giggling, kicking her legs as she did so. "You should've seen the look on my dad's face when he got home. That was the day he sat her and me down and told us he was a wizard. My poor mum. She had no idea."
Draco sat up in shock. "Wait, wait, you're a half-blood?" he asked, eyes wide. Y/N cocked an eyebrow. "Is that a problem, Malfoy?" she questioned as she began to sit up. Her tone was somewhat threatening. Draco raised his hands to show his lack of ill intention. "No, no. I was just surprised," he quickly explained. Y/N chuckled and waved her hand towards him. "Relax, I'm only playing with you," she assured him. Her words piqued Draco's interest. He wiggled his eyebrows and licked his lips, staring suggestively into her eyes. "Well, I'd sure like to play with you," he husked. Y/N gasped loudly and swiftly removed the pillow from behind her back and chucked it at the blonde boy sitting across from her. "Draco!" she screeched. "Joking!" he mumbled. "Just joking...unless."
Y/N crossed her arms, and obnoxiously shook her head while clicking her tongue disapprovingly. Draco snickered before throwing the pillow back at her, making her giggle. His heart skipped a beat as he watched her eyes twinkle. She looked unreal to Draco, ethereal almost. However, he was torn from his trance by her continuing the story. "Anyways, as I was saying, my lovely mum had the shock of her life. I was surprised as well. I mean, I had just found out I was a bloody witch. Although I was much more delighted than she was. Come to think of it, she might've cried," Y/N said with a small frown. "Wow..." Draco muttered. "But what does she think of it now? What with you being at Hogwarts and all."
Y/N hummed to herself, recalling that last time she and her mother spoke about Hogwarts. "Well, I think she thinks it's a bit surreal, you know? She always imagined I'd graduate and go off to university to become a doctor or something, but here I am at a school for wizards and witches," she said while gesturing to the castle walls around her. Draco nodded although he was a bit confused. "She just doesn't understand, right?" he asked. Y/N pursed her lips. "I think she will, with time. Maybe I can introduce her to you and your family. Now that would be really fun," she suggested with a mischievous glint in her eye. Draco furrowed his eyebrows. "And why is that?" he questioned, staring at the giggling girl. "Just imagine me introducing you. I'd say, hey mum, this is my best friend and his wizard parents who dress like they're going to a funeral every single day. Oh, and they also own a mansion in the countryside because they're rolling in galleons!" Y/N bellowed, nearly falling over as she clutched her stomach, erupting in laughter.
Draco would've berated her for the slander towards his parents, but his mind was fixated on three words, "My best friend." He waited until Y/N ceased laughing before asking her, "I'm your best friend?" She looked at him as if he had grown a second head. "Well, duh, you're my only friend, Draco." The Slytherin did his best to hide his blush as he looked to the floor. "You're mine too," he mumbled. But Y/N didn't hear.
Draco sighed as he sat on his bed. He missed her. He wished so badly that she'd walk through his door. But she wouldn't, and he knew that. Slowly, he pushed himself off the green covered mattress and walked over to his wooden desk. A piece of parchment was already on top of it, so he took a seat, and he reached for his ink bottle and quill. His nimble fingers unscrewed the cap, and he dipped the point inside it, drenching it in black liquid. He'd written letters to Y/N many times, but every time he finished one, he'd get scared and chuck it into the bin. Draco knew he'd probably do the same tonight, but he wanted to try. So he pressed his quill to the paper and began.
"Dear Y/N, I hope you are doing well. I'm writing to you to give you my apologies. I should've known better than to confess my feelings for you at such a time. I really hope..." he stilled his hand, not knowing what to say next. His head was reeling as different thoughts and feelings flooded his brain, none of which he knew how to convey in words. She made him so dizzy. But, ever persistent, Draco started again.
"Dear Y/N, Are you doing well? I truly hope that you are. I write to you to tell you that I'm sorry for everything. I said and did so many foolish things that day, and if I could take all of them back, I swear, I would. I know I must've frightened you that day, but Y/N, I fear you don't know how much I miss you. I've never felt this empty before. But I know it's because you're not here. I need you..." Draco, in his frustrated haze, crossed out the last line and crumbled the parchment in his fist. He then tossed it across the room, watching as it hit the wall next to his door, and bounced on the foot of his brass coat rack. He stared at it, thinking about donning his coat and taking a walk around campus. But then, he noticed something underneath. He jumped to his feet and rushed over to the rack. Curious, he lifted his black coat off the hook to reveal a brown cardigan underneath. His chest tightened; it was Y/N's. She must've left it in his room after one of their study sessions. Come to think of it, it was probably from the night before Draco confessed.
Hesitantly, the boy reached out and touched his fingers to the cardigan. It was soft. He lifted it up and held it in his hands, letting his emotions settle. Then, he brought it to his nose, breathing in deeply. It still smelled of her: apples, hazelnut, and cinnamon. Draco felt tears begin to gather in his eyes, but he hastily blinked them away. With care, he hung the cardigan back up and retreated to his desk. He got seated, pulled out a new sheet of parchment, and began writing for the third time that night.
------------
Dear Y/N,
I hope this letter finds you well. I'm writing to you to inform you that I've discovered your cardigan in my room. The brown one that is. I suppose you left it after our last study session. I can return it to you tomorrow morning at breakfast, or if you'd prefer, you can fetch it tonight. The current password to the Slytherin common room is Jobberknoll. Hopefully, you remember where my bedroom is, but should you have forgotten, it's at the very top of the stairway on your left. Please knock three times before entering.
There's no need to send an owl with your reply. Just make sure to come before 9:30. If you don't, I'll assume you wish to receive the cardigan at breakfast, in which case, I shall wait for you by the door.
Draco
Y/N clutched the parchment tightly in her hands. She had been scared half to death when an owl landed right beside her while she was sitting by the open windows. But now, she was more afraid of getting her cardigan back. She glanced around her room frantically, as if she'd find an answer to her dilemma upon the walls. Her eyes then drifted back to the parchment in her hands. She looked at where Draco had signed his name. Above it was a dark scribble as if he had scratched something out. What did he write there? It was probably just 'sincerely,' but what if it was something else. What if it was 'with love'? Y/N wondered. She closed her eyes; she needed to calm down. There was no way she'd be able to make a rational decision with such thoughts running through her brain.
But Y/N had nobody to consult, nobody to refer to. Ever since she'd pushed Draco away that day, she'd been alone. Her roommate spoke to her on occasion, but only about school-related things. Almost the entirety of her house had shunned her. And the whole school knew what she did, so making friends had proven to be difficult. But because of this, Y/N had been able to do a lot of thinking. Truthfully, she missed Draco. She hated herself for rejecting him that day. She hated herself because she liked him. The only reason she had rejected him was that she knew she wasn't ready for another relationship. And on top of that, she didn't think she deserved one. Draco wasn't someone she deserved, not in her mind.
But here she was, being forced to make a decision. Should she just wait until tomorrow, or should she go to his room? Her brain was telling her to wait until tomorrow; that way, she could take the cardigan, thank him, and be on her merry way. But her heart screamed at her to go to him. Go to him, confess to him, bring him back into her life. Y/N glanced at the clock; it was nearly nine. "Fuck," she muttered before pushing off the window seat; her loneliness had gotten the best of her.
She rushed towards her closet and flung the doors open. Her eyes scanned the array of clothing for a few moments before she pulled out her favorite pair of light grey sweatpants along with her pale green crewneck. She threw them on and tucked her wand into her pocket. Then she checked herself in the mirror. Her hair was already pulled back, and she had light mascara on. It was good enough, in her opinion, so she slipped on her shoes and turned her doorknob with a shaky hand.
--------
Draco was sitting in his armchair with a blue book in his hands when he heard three distinct knocks at his door. His breathing began to hasten; surely, it couldn't be... Only one way to find out. "Come in!" he called. The door swung open to reveal Y/N. She looked nervous as all hell but nevertheless, stepped inside his room and closed the door behind her. Neither of them said anything. They simply stared at one another. But luckily, Draco came to his senses. "Right, your cardigan," he said as he dropped his book and stood up. He grabbed the cardigan off the back of his chair and walked over to her, holding out the garment. "Here you are." Y/N took it into her hands and examined it. "Thank you, I thought it was lost forever," she told him with a smile. Draco faltered for a moment. He'd forgotten how sweet her voice was. But then he nodded, and the awkward silence returned. It hung in the air for a few moments before it was broken by the two of them simultaneously blurting out, "I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry, Y/N," Draco insisted while shifting his eyes to the floor. "I acted like a fool that day a-and I frightened you, and I made you so overwhelmed. I should've known better, and I am so sorry...I've missed you so much," he said, whispering his last few words. Eventually, he found the courage to look up, and when he did, he saw that Y/N was crying. His heart clenched, and he felt regret pool in his gut. But before he could apologize again, Y/N spoke up.
"I've missed you too, Draco. And I'm not sorry I rejected you that day, I'm sorry that I kicked you out of my life. I thought I was protecting myself because I just knew I would've gone back on my decision if I had let you stay. I liked you too, I still do, but I just wasn't ready. You're too good to be true. I don't deserve a second chance; I don't deserve you. But you didn't deserve to be shut out, and I really hope you can forgive—"
Y/N was cut off by Draco smashing his lips against hers. He held her face in his hands as she gasped, allowing him to sneak his tongue out and run it along her lower lip. She moaned into his mouth as he started to nibble. His hands traveled downwards until they settled on her hips. He pulled her closer and groaned when his hips touched hers. God, how he had missed this. Then, Y/N reached up and ran her hands through his hair, successfully messing it up. Draco knew he wanted more but pulled away from her lips. She breathed heavily and looked into his eyes, puzzled as to why he stopped.
"You're mine...right?" Draco asked anxiously. Y/N smiled and pulled him close for another soft kiss. "I'm yours," she whispered. Draco kissed her again, and she eagerly returned it. Hesitantly, Draco sneaked his hand underneath her shirt, merely letting it sit there against her hot skin as he slipped his tongue into her mouth again. Then, he began to slide his hand up her torso, all while paying attention to her reactions. She seemed to be kissing him harder as he gently ran his thumb along the underside of her breast. He took that as a sign he was doing good, so he placed his hand on top of it and squeezed. Y/N let out a loud moan and pulled away from the kiss. "Draco, please," she whined. He snickered as he studied her pleading face. "What do you need, princess?" he asked in a sultry voice. Y/N squirmed and continued to whine. Draco clicked his tongue. "Always so scared to tell me what you want. There's no need to be embarrassed. I'll give you whatever you want. I just need you to tell me," he reminded her gently. She bit her lip and stared at the floor before finally answering.
"I wanna have sex with you," she whispered. Her face was crimson. Draco felt his heart squeeze; she was too cute. He put his hand underneath her chin and tilted it upwards. A gentle kiss was planted on her lips. "I wanna have sex with you too, darling," he murmured. Y/N couldn't hide her smile as she swiftly took his hand and led him to the bed. Draco smirked and, with sneaky hands, pushed her onto the bed, making her squeal. "Draco!" she yelled with her back now pressed against the mattress. The Slytherin wasted no time; he jumped on top of her while mimicking a roar, causing Y/N to burst into laughter. Her laugh was music to his ears.
Draco tugged her shirt up and off her body, throwing it to the floor. His hands immediately traveled to her back where he unclasped her bra, throwing that away too. Draco felt his dick twitch in his pants upon seeing her nipples harden in the cold air. He leaned down and latched his lips onto one of them while twisting the other between his fingers. Y/N's gasp sent a shiver down his spine, and he sucked her even harder.
"Draco..." she moaned. Draco let go of her tits and sat up, admiring her flushed face. Then Y/N suddenly sat up and grasped the bottom of his shirt and proceeded to yank it off him. Draco only watched as she did this. Her hands then traveled to his pants. She unzipped him and pushed his waistband down, exposing his briefs. He helped her out by maneuvering himself off his knees so that he could kick his pants off.
Once the pants joined the rest of the clothes, Y/N reached for the top of his underwear. But before she could go any further, Draco stopped her. She looked at him, confused as to why he wouldn't want her to touch him. "Tonight is about you, darling. Lie back for me now," Draco instructed. Y/N's face turned red, but she did as she was told and lowered her body onto the bed. Draco's hands grasped her pants, and he slowly pulled them down, stopping to press kisses to her thighs as he went. They were both in only their underwear now, and he could see Y/N was getting impatient. "Speak princess, what do you want?" Draco asked. Y/N pressed her thighs together and rolled her hips a bit before she spoke. "Finger me, please," she begged. Draco smiled at her and immediately pressed his fingers to her pussy, still covered by her panties.
"So polite," he purred as he gently rubbed her clit through her underwear. She closed her eyes and hummed in pleasure. "That feel good, princess?" Draco asked. Y/N nodded and opened her mouth to reply, but a long moan quickly replaced the words on her tongue as Draco applied more pressure to her nub. He continued to swirl his finger around it for a couple minutes, then he slid a different finger past her panties and slowly pushed it inside, feeling her thighs clench as he did so. "So tight," he mumbled before leaning down and giving her a sweet kiss. The intrusion of another finger caused her to gasp into his mouth. Draco groaned and pressed down on her clit, making her hips jump.
"Did you miss this? Did you miss my fingers inside you and my kisses on your body?" he questioned as he thrusted into her. Y/N clenched her walls around his digits and nodded eagerly. "So much. So fucking much," she mewled. Draco added another finger and increased his pace. He noticed Y/N's breathing beginning to get quicker, and he knew she was close. So he finger-fucked her hole for a minute more before withdrawing his hand. Y/N cried out in frustration and glared at him angrily. "Why did you do that?" she whined.
But then, without warning, Draco lifted up her shirt and pressed his lips to her soft stomach, blowing a raspberry onto it. Y/N instantly screamed and wiggled violently underneath him. "STOP, STOP!" she shrieked, trying to get away as her giggles became uncontrollable. Eventually, Draco took mercy on her and ceased his torment. He leaned up to see Y/N was out of breath, and her hair was a mess. "Quit playing games and put your dick inside me, you twat," she ordered. Draco's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "If you say so," he muttered, taking his cock out of his underwear. Y/N's eyes widened, but before she could say or do anything, Draco slid all the way inside her, burying his dick in her pussy. "Ohhh, fuck," she moaned. Draco grunted as he adjusted to the tightness of her hole. He had the instinct to begin slamming into her, but he controlled his urges and allowed her body to adapt to him as he positioned his hands next to her head.
Y/N's walls clenched around him, and she bucked her hips. "Move, please," she pleaded softly. "As you wish," Draco said as he slowly pulled himself out and thrusted back in, setting a slow but consistent pace. Y/N let out quiet mewls as he moved in and out. Her legs found their way to his waist, and they quickly wrapped around it. This pulled him closer and forced his dick deeper inside her. "Fuck," Draco moaned as he leaned down for a kiss while continuing to thrust. Y/N hummed into his mouth and flicked her tongue against his. "Shit, you feel so good," she purred. Draco's cock twitched at her words, and he increased his pace. A harsh grunt escaped him as Y/N reached up and dug her nails into his back. "You're so gorgeous, Y/N," he breathed. "So goddamn gorgeous."
Suddenly, Draco's sensual thrusts were halted by Y/N calling his name. "Yes, darling?" he replied. "You can be rough, I don't mind," she told him gently. Draco smiled down at her and pressed quick kisses along her jaw. "I know, but I can do that another night. Right now," he angled his head so that his lips were by her ear, "I'm making love to you," he whispered, feeling her shudder beneath him.
Y/N's eyes grew soft, and she moved her hands to his face. "You're perfect," she mumbled before pulling his lips to hers, where they shared a passionate kiss. "So perfect." Draco started to thrust again, resuming his slower pace. The force of his cock rocked the couple back and forth on the plush pillows. But then, he had an idea.
He moved his hands from their spot beside Y/N's head, slid them underneath her back, and lifted her up. "Shit," she cursed as she was now on Draco's lap, his dick still buried deep inside her. Slowly, Draco raised her off him and turned her around so that her back was facing him. He then repositioned her hips above his cock and gently lowered her onto it. "Ohhh," she moaned as she once again became full. She was about to lift herself up and fuck herself on his dick, but Draco's hands stopped her. He pushed her legs wide and placed his hand over her pussy. This didn't please Y/N. She started to squirm and buck her hips forward, causing Draco to groan as she stimulated his cock. "Stay still, princess. I'll take care of you," he assured her. His fingers pressed against her heat and slowly spread the upper lips, exposing her clit. With his other hand, he touched his fingers to her nub and slowly began to circle it. Y/N's head fell back onto his shoulder, and a long, deep groan escaped her throat.
"Oh my god," she whimpered as her breathing became ragged. Draco's hands never stopped or stuttered, not even when Y/N's walls squeezed him tight. He just kept rubbing and rubbing; her soft pants sounded like heaven to him. Suddenly, Y/N's thighs began to tense. "Draco, fuck, I'm close," she muttered. Draco turned his head and once again hovered his lips next to her ear. "Cum on me. Cum with me buried inside you," he ordered. Y/N gasped and rolled her head on his shoulder. He could tell she was almost there. "Oh, god. Fuck, fuck, fuck, just a little more," she begged.
Draco kept circling her clit until finally, she inhaled sharply, and her walls clenched him hard. His finger didn't stop; it continued to rub her throughout her high. It only ceased when Draco felt her body jolt from overstimulation. He then pushed her forward onto her hands and knees and began pounding into her, chasing his own climax. The sounds of skin slapping combined with the tightness of Y/N's pussy lit a fire in Draco's abdomen, and soon, he was pushed over the edge. "Cumming," he warned her before he released inside Y/N with a deep groan. The couple remained in that position for a good minute, breathing heavily. Then Draco pulled himself out and laughed as Y/N immediately collapsed face-first onto his bed. He gently flipped her over and kissed her cheek. "You alright, darling?" he asked. She smiled and turned to him. Then, without thinking, she blurted, "I think I love you." Immediately, Y/N slapped her hand over her mouth. But Draco only grinned and said, "I love you too, Y/N."
She lowered her hand and averted her eyes as blush filled her cheeks. "Draco, are we..." she trailed off, looking apprehensive. "Boyfriend and girlfriend?" he asked. Y/N nodded. "I'd love to be your boyfriend, darling," he said sweetly. In less than a second, Draco was attacked by a forceful hug from Y/N. He wrapped his arms around her still naked body and held her close, breathing in her scent: apples, hazelnut, and cinnamon.
"Thank you for not giving up on me," she said softly. "I don't know what I would've done with myself if you had just stopped caring one day," Y/N confessed. Draco gently pulled away from the hug and cradled his girlfriend's face in his hands. "I never  would've stopped caring. Y/N you were all I thought about," he assured her. He watched as her tears began to fall from her eyes. "Don't cry, sweetheart, I'm here now; I've got you. There's no need to cry," he said sweetly, trying to comfort her. But Y/N kept on crying, so he dragged a blanket over his lap and pulled her on top of it. "Look at me, darling," he instructed lightly. She rubbed her tears away with her arm and looked into Draco's eyes.
"I love you. I love you so much. Do not waste your tears on the mistakes of the past. All that matters is that I've got you, and you've got me. Alright?" Y/N continued to wipe her tears and nodded. "Alright. I love you too," she replied.
Draco pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, slid her off his lap, and stood up from the bed. He grabbed some tissues and cleaned himself off before doing the same for Y/N. Then he pulled on his underwear and tossed Y/N hers. As she was getting dressed, Draco strode over to his armchair. In the seat of it sat a small blue book. He picked it up and took it with him as he went back to bed. Y/N was already under the covers; she looked at him quizzically when she noticed the object in his hand. Her mouth opened to speak, but Draco quickly shushed her. He slid under the covers and cozied up next to Y/N. Then, he cracked open the book, cleared his throat, and began to read.
"There was once a kindly old wizard who used his magic generously and wisely for the benefit of his neighbours. Rather than reveal the true source of his power, he pretended that his potions, charms and antidotes sprang ready-made from the little cauldron he called his lucky cooking pot."
The End
Taglist: @beiahadid @pastelpuffbar @cutie1365 @dracoxmgg @lumlfy @sambucky8 @emilianamason @orangecrayon @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @hustlinhufflepuff @goddessofgames @dracocanslytherin8 @superbturtlemakerathlete @raplinethereal @mllzhxrrz44 @dixiethemorab24 @prongsandprancer @azkabanlexi
864 notes · View notes
wonlouvre · 3 years
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pairing: doctor!wonwoo x lawyer!female oc genre: modern royalty, arranged marriage, fluff and future angst word count: 3.2k WARNINGS: ANGST, VIOLENCE, GUNS
a/n: we are nearing the end guys :( and i promise, it’s a HAPPY ENDING! but for now we have to face the angst, i’m so sorry. disclaimer!! as i have said from the previous parts, i am not well-versed with investigations and court procedures. PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG. thank you very much!! please enjoy this new part and hit my ask box with what you think of it <3
nine: grief | masterlist
Wonwoo has had difficult times in his life and he has managed to overcome them all. Growing up in the public eye, fulfilling duties decreed to him even before he became a teen, a break-up, excelling both academically and physically and most of all, loving himself for who he is. He knows his parents did everything in their power and love to make it a little easier for him. They are the reasons he kept going and going. 
But his heart can’t seem to carry this overwhelming heaviness. 
His parents wanted to end the engagement immediately. It was an argument, an angry one. His mother had her ears closed even before he could speak meanwhile his father’s closed lips already said it all. Of course, he was defensive. He understands his parents concern for their citizens, but nothing is final until a verdict is reached. He has to come back to Jung and Sam and he has to come back to you. Surely enough, when he stepped out of the doors of his home, he had chosen love over duty. 
It’s just that he didn’t know that you had different plans. 
“Where’s the pretty lady?” Sam asks out of the blue while he plays with the new toys Wonwoo brought for the kids at the welfare.
He has been visiting them frequently, at least four times a week in between his hospital schedule. Especially after you decided that he should distance himself from you, he has been in and out of here because the boys are one of the only reasons he’s here other than you. He’s hoping you only meant a break if that’s what you wanted. Because he’d give it to you with as much distance as you want just come back to him. Come back to him because he doesn’t and can’t let you go. 
“She’s a bit busy now,” he tries to make up an excuse and Sam raises his sparkling eyes at his face, probably searching for some truth in his lie. 
“You look different when she’s around,” the young boy says and goes back to his toys. 
Wonwoo’s ears perk and his brows knit in question. “What do you mean?”
“Jung thinks I don’t see it, but his face,” Sam explains and gestures to his tiny yet swelling cheeks. “It changes because of this girl here that I think he’s crushing.”
Wonwoo can’t help the growing smile on his face. “Jung has a crush?”
“Yes.” Sam bobs his head cutely. “You’re just like Jung with the pretty lady around.”
“How about now?” He asks the observant boy who purses his tiny lips before narrowing his eyes at him. 
“You look a little sad.”
Wonwoo didn’t need to ask who’s the pretty lady Sam was talking about because to him, you’re the only pretty lady in his life (second to his mother of course even though she’s angry at him at the moment). He tried to not make it obvious. He doesn’t want anyone to see him that the controversy and your father’s arrest is breaking the two of you apart. He can’t let them see him falling apart for that matter because he wants you to see him confident and strong. 
He doesn’t want to further fuel your doubts and fears. If he can’t support you closely, he’ll do his best to support you even from afar.
That’s why life for him continued. He goes to work, attends to his patients and co-workers needs, he eats, he exercises and he even entertains drinking with Soonyoung despite having to take care of him because of how fast he gets drunk. 
It’s an ineffective distraction because he misses you terribly. He misses going to your office just to take you away from your computer, he misses driving around town with you in the passenger seat and listening to your stories, he misses sleeping over at your apartment after a tiring day shift, he misses your warm and welcoming embrace, he misses your shy and soft kisses against his lips, cheeks, nose, forehead, neck and everywhere else.  
Did he tell you he misses you?
He sends you messages every day. He doesn’t call and he doesn’t wait for a reply. He just wants you to know that he’s here whenever you’re ready. Jeongyeon is kind enough to keep him in the loop, but the updates are very minimal because she’s still your subject and she doesn’t want to hurt you any further. 
For a moment, Wonwoo was afraid to take the leap. But when you asked him if he still wants to marry you which could be equivalent to you ending things, he had to. If you stay or not, he had to say it with all his heart. You had to know because he was sure that whatever it is his whole being is feeling, it’s only for you. 
“I love you.”
Your heart drops at his confession, making you sob to the palm of your hands. He can’t do this to you right now. It’s already hard and painful. You want to be selfish, but it would be wrong to let him suffer with you when he has been nothing but kind and honest. 
“You’re not your father, Y/N,” he promises and holds your hands down. “Please look at me.”
You shake your head, sniffling. You want to scream you love him too. But the words are nothing but a lump at the back of your throat. You continue shedding your tears and the sight breaks Wonwoo’s heart. 
“It’s okay.” He lifts your head up by your cheeks. He wipes your tears away even though it’s futile. He wishes to share with your anguish, but he also respects the desires of your heart. 
His smile was small when he leans down and briefly presses a kiss to your trembling lips. You accept it, fearing it might be the last. You also listen to his last words before he leaves with his bag and coat because it also might be the last time you’ll ever hear them.
“I love you.”
The rain patters on the roof of the car when Wonwoo’s words echoed inside your head. Just the thought of what had transpired the last few days brings tears to your eyes. You haven’t seen him since that night and the longing is unbearable. You wish to hear his voice, feel his touch against you or just see him. But you can’t and you have to persevere through it because you owe justice and accountability to your people.   
You haven’t spoken to your mother even if you tried. She’s just tired, so tired you can’t bring a word out of her. You try to be understanding and a little more patient. After all, getting over a betrayal doesn’t happen overnight. That’s why you continued working even though almost every client you have has backed down and declined your services. Nonetheless, you still go to your office every day as if everything is okay. You drink your coffee, you run over your files and even do a little organizing and disposing here and there. 
Your father’s first trial is today and you’re on your way to speak to him at his detention center. This is the first time you’ll see him aside from the television and newspapers. You’ve been crying ever since he got taken away. You can’t help it. You already know the truth and there’s no blinding away from it. But you want to hear from your father, whom you thought you have known all your life. You want his truth and maybe find some closure. 
When you arrive at the parking lot, the rain has ceased and little by little the temperature is rising again. You really wish things were different. Something in you wishes that this is a set-up. You wish that your father was innocent and only being framed. But there is a bigger something that’s telling you to throw away those wishful thoughts because it’s wrong. 
You ask yourself, am I angry at my father? while walking to the entrance leading to the visitor’s area. I should be, right? You argue because your family name and career is tarnished. Your upcoming marriage is no different which is most likely to be over. 
“Hi my darling,” The King, stripped from his expensive suit, greets you with his usual smile.
The glass between you and your father is clear enough to see that he doesn’t look good. Your father used to look every day ready with his suit on and slick back hair. But right now, he doesn’t. Tears well up in your eyes but you hold it in. It will take a long time to get used to seeing him like this. It will take a painfully long one.
Maybe you’re not angry. Maybe you’re just hurting.
“Hi dad,” you greet back. “How are you?”
The old man smiles and warms his thighs with his hands while looking around the small room. “I’m okay.”
You nod and the cold silence engulfs the room. 
“I’m sorry darling,” he finally says and hearing those words made you burst into tears. He sees you crying and this is the first time he can’t reach his hand out to wipe the tears away. “I’m really sorry that your father’s greed has left you and your mother a wound that might never heal.”
Greed. The news, the Royal Police, the prosecution and everyone else were talking about this. They’re still talking about this. It’s scandalous, it’s controversial. It’s unbelievable too. How could the head and protector of the kingdom do this? 
How could your father do this?
“Dad,” you sob. “Dad.”
“I know,” he tells you. “I know.”
“Please tell me they’re lying,” you begged, your voice shaking.
“I cannot betray you any further, my darling,” he sadly says. “I have to set you all free from my lies.”
You harshly rub your fingers against your eyes, trying to dry the tears that won’t stop from falling. “Who’s Kim Mingyu?”
The alarming buzz! blasts, indicating that your time’s up. You’re quick to your feet and hold your sweating palm against the glass. Your father mirrors your action but it didn’t last long because he was being handcuffed again. 
“Remember,” he says, struggling a little against the two uniformed men. “You are your own person, my darling.” 
Maybe you’re not hurting. Maybe you’re grieving because you just lost your father. 
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You know who Kim Mingyu is. You already knew before you could even ask your father. You just wanted to know how your father met him and entangled himself with such a man. What led him to fall for his lies and money that he could trade every ounce of dignity and integrity in his being? Something of that sort. 
Kim Mingyu’s mining business was proposed to the Secretary of the Trade and Industry Department. A mining business that will have children go underground for long agonizing hours. At first, they were immediately rejected knowing that there’s an obvious and strict law disallowing foreigners to the kingdom’s mineral resources. Much more the exploitation of young children. But, Mingyu was ambitious and a sniper to every man's weakness. It didn’t take long for the Secretary of the Trade and Industry to bite. It was easily followed by the Secretary of the Justice Department and your father. They all, among many others, eventually fell for his trap. Everything worked out for Kim Mingyu. 
Your hip is against the hood of the car as you watched the prison guards surround the vehicle your father will ride to the court. Everyone is on high alert. Well, they should be. No one else is more high profile than a criminal king. It’s only the first trial but you’re already more than aware of how things will turn out in the end. 
You clutch the lifebuoy pendant of the necklace you’re wearing, nervous and trying to keep everything together.
You could leave now, but the time and opportunity to see your father is running out. This prison is the only place you could linger just to see him, even for a short while. You won’t be able to follow him at court because Seungkwan advised you not to. Which you understand. This whole case involving your father is already causing a media frenzy so staying away is the smart thing to do. 
As you wait, your phone suddenly rings with an unknown number flashed on the screen. You blink, wondering who could it be at this hour. After a beat of hesitation, you answered and held the phone against your ear. 
“Hello?”
“Ah, Princess Y/N. How’s the King doing?”
You’re not that forgetful to not recognize this voice. “Mr. Kim, how did you get my number?”
“That’s not important right now,” he dodges the question. “What’s important is what I am about to tell you.”
“What do you want from me?” You say with gritted teeth and from your peripheral you can see the guards scramble. Your father is about to come out.
You can hear him scoff. “I don’t want anything from you, Your Highness. But listen…”
Your heart starts to beat faster. It’s a hard visual but your father is nearing the exit. Your bottom lip is starting to hurt from how hard you’re biting it and the few seconds of pause and suspense that Mingyu’s giving you is not helping at all. 
“Listen you sick---” He cuts you off and your blood runs cold.
“I’m going to kill your father.”
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What is the fondest memory that you have of your father? 
They’re too many to count and every memory with him, small and big, will always mean everything to you. But as an example, it would be the day you finally took oath as a lawyer. He didn’t tell you, but he, together with your mother, was secretly present at the venue. He told you beforehand that they shouldn’t go because he didn’t want the people to make you uncomfortable and steal the spotlight. You ignored his lame excuse of fame and told him that he can do whatever he wants. 
But he was really there. Tears brimming on his eyes together with pride beaming on his heart. Your mother had to calm him down because he got a little out of control, almost screaming with all his chest at the venue that you’re his daughter. 
You only found out when you hopped on the car and they’re inside with a small cake, flowers and party hats on, shouting loud congratulations and surprise simultaneously. 
Your father was always there. Your parents were. 
You remember those when you ran and pushed your way against the guards blocking your father’s view. You were frantic as you screamed at them to get your father back inside. You fought with all your strength and thrashed against their hold just to reach your father. When you slipped away from them, you ran again, fast. 
You did your best to not get caught. You just have to be close to your dad and push him back inside. You just have to be close to him. You just have to protect him.
You have to be there for him. 
“Please stop!” You shout when another guard takes hold of your waist, locking you to the ground. “You have to bring my father back inside!”
“You’re Highness, please calm down!” The guard shouts back and you fight against him. When he didn’t let you go, you stomped the heel of your shoe on his feet, making him fall in pain. 
“Dad!” You call when you’re finally nearing him. His head lifts up at the sound of your voice and searches for you among the sea of men. “Please! You have to take him back inside! I received a call from Kim Ming---”
BANG!
BANG! 
It was searingly fast. Your whole body collapses on the sweltering concrete before you could reach your father and when his eyes finally find you, you are already swimming in the pool of your blood.  
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“It’s always good to see you Mrs. Wang,” Wonwoo compliments the old lady who’s starting to frequent the emergency room. “But not in this manner.”
The old lady gives him a cheeky grin and pinches one of his cheeks. If Wonwoo doesn’t know any better, she’s doing this to not get scolded any further. 
“Your blood sugar is high and I don’t think your granddaughter appreciates her grandma endangering her own life,” he lightly scolds her, if that’s how he can put it. He’s still a doctor after all. “She loves you and she wants you to be healthy when she walks down the aisle in the future.”
Mrs. Wang gives him a silent nod at the mention of her granddaughter, promising that she won’t disobey anymore. That relieves Wonwoo, his lips lifting in a smile. He signs her clearance and hands it back to the nurse. After a few more instructions, he takes his leave and walks back to the information desk. 
He takes one of the patients charts to read. The phone rings and the nurse in charge immediately picks it up and answers. At first, Wonwoo didn’t bother looking up from the paper because emergency calls happen every three seconds. But when there was an eerie silence amidst the loud and busy room, his curiosity made his head tilt up only to get surprised at the widened eyes the nurse was giving him. 
He was about to ask what’s wrong but when he heard the sound of the siren nearing, he ignores his suspicions and runs to the entrance. 
The ambulance parks at a safe distance and the paramedics get out. They move quickly to get the patient out and when they see him, their mouth falls open but no words come out.
Wonwoo didn’t notice so he proceeded to ask, “How’s the patient?”
“Wonwoo!”
Soonyoung almost tripped on his feet as he tried to get a hold of his friend. He takes his arms and tries to pull him away from the ambulance he’s about to open. Wonwoo is starting to get irritated at the bizarre and disconcerting feeling that’s starting to settle in the emergency room.
Wonwoo knocks him off with a glare. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Wonwoo, please,” Soonyoung begs with an unsteady voice, clinging to his friend. 
“Female, late twenties, two gunshot wounds,” one of the paramedics finally yet carefully reports while the other opens the doors of the ambulance. “It’s Her Highness, Princess Y/N.”
Wonwoo roughly removes his friends hand from his arm to step closer to the ambulance and when he sees your lifeless body, he didn’t waste any more time and helped the paramedics move the stretcher out. Soonyoung can see his friend’s hands shaking as he takes hold of the bloodied gurney. He knows he has to stop him right now. 
“Baby,” Wonwoo calls as he runs and wheels you inside. You can’t hear him, but he has to try. He observes proper protocol of transferring you to the bed of the emergency room before applying more pressure to your wounds. You have lost a lot of blood already and it’s not helping Wonwoo that he can’t see your eyes.
“Please, please, please,” Wonwoo whispers as he removes all the obstructions on your body and when his eyes catch the necklace he gave around your neck, his legs grow weak and removing it from you made his tears fall.
“Baby, please,” he pleads. “Open your eyes, hmm?”
Soonyoung steps in together with the doctor who will perform the surgery and take everything from here. He slowly pulls his friend away from your body. Wonwoo didn’t protest anymore, there’s nothing in him left to do so. Your blood is in his hands, in his white coat, it’s everywhere. 
This is not the distance Wonwoo wanted. 
He can’t be apart from you forever.
337 notes · View notes
demonsandmischief · 3 years
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Keep Me Safe
A Bucky Barnes Story
Bucky Barnes x OC Character
2K Words
Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, Mention of Body Weight, Past Abuse/Trauma
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General disclaimers before you read: This is not an imagine. Also, I'm not a doctor, but I do my best to make things as accurate as possible. Please take into account the trigger warnings. I imagine this after TFATWS events just because I feel like that Bucky has finally found himself enough to actually have a relationship. It doesn't contain any spoilers, but it may later on.
----
Bucky already has enough to deal with, but adding Mia to the mix might not be so bad.
----
"You're the only one who hasn't tried," Sam Wilson whispered adamantly.
"No," Bucky Barnes shook his head. "That's a bad idea, Sam, and you know it."
"Listen, you're the only one who could possibly understand what she's been through. At least try."
Bucky sighed. Damn Wilson for being so convincing and good with words. He glanced into the hospital room, seeing the pale girl hooked helplessly to the chirpy machinery. He cringed. He hated it all.
There was no telling what the girl had been through. She had been found while Sam was on a mission, and she continued to panic every single time someone entered the room. Nurses had to give her a mild sedative just to tend to her injuries.
Bucky had avoided the place like the plague. He wanted no part, but Sam was his friend, his only one at that, and he asked for his help, hoping he could relate to the girl in some way.
He entered the room, glancing back at Sam skeptically as nothing happened, but just like with the others, the frail girl woke up with a terrified gasp. Her chest heaved as she pulled at the wires, desperate to free herself, until she saw him.
She stilled at the sight of him, and Bucky couldn't help but approach curiously. She had the most stunning eyes, wide and painful. He couldn't imagine what they had seen.
"Easy," he murmured, holding his gloves hands out in front of him in a calming gesture. He was sure he could hear her heartheat with how frightened she was. "My name is Bucky. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
He glanced back towards the door at Sam who was just out of view.
He eased himself in the chair by the girl's bed. She calmed significantly when his height wasn't as threatening.
She glanced at the glass of water, and at Bucky cautiously. He could tell she was in pain. He didn't know the extent of her injuries, but she had definitely exerted herself when she panicked.
He shifted to pick up the glass and she tensed. "I'm just helping," he whispered. "Here."
She attempted to take it from his grasp, but her shaking hands didn't have the grip, so he held the straw to her lips.
There was something about this girl. Something he couldn't put his finger on.
"I'm Mia," she said after a moment.
Bucky couldn't control the soft smile that pulled at his lips at the sound of her voice. The reaction was odd, something he had never felt.
At that moment, two nurses and a doctor knocked on the door, and entered without saying anything. Mia immediately began to freak out and he was not having it. For some reason, it pissed him off that they barged in on their moment.
"Bucky," she whimpered helplessly, reaching for him.
She wanted him? There was no way. He had just met her.
Either way, he stood to his feet, addressing the group. "There's too many of you. You need to leave. Can't you see you're causing her distress?"
"We saw she was awake. We just need to run some tests," the doctor said.
He felt the feather-like touch on his leather jacket, and a quiet, fearful whimper that sent lightning bolts of red, hot anger throughout his body. Why would they cause her more fear?
"You need to leave. I'll call you when it's time for you to come in," he said sternly, his gaze dark and protective. It was a strange feeling that surged through his chest. He felt something similar when he was fighting alongside Sam, but this felt more intimate.
"You don't have any authority to tell me what to do. What is your relationship to this girl?" the doctor inquired.
Bucky clenched his fists. He wanted to break the shit out of this man's nose.
Lucky for the arrogant doctor, Sam was able to diffuse the situation. He stayed in the entry of the door.
"Woah, what's going on in here? Dr. Smith, Bucky has been the only one to calm her. He's with me, and I have the authority. You need to do what he tells you, or we will just find a different person for the job."
Dr. Smith gave a huff, giving a glare to the angry man.
Sam gave a Buck a tense nod when the room was finally empty.
"Are you okay?" Bucky asked Mia, who looked scared out of her mind, huddled in the corner of the bed closest to him.
A tear fell onto her cheek, but she wiped it away quickly.
"I'm okay," she finally said.
"No, you're not, and that's alright." Bucky sank back into his seat, watching her closely.
"You act like you understand," she relaxed slightly, and he noticed her palms were cut from where her fingernails had been digging into the skin.
He reached for her hand, and she accepted his touch, which was very surprising. He reached for a tissue to wipe away the blood.
"I do understand," he said it simply, wondering if there would be more questions, but it was quiet.
Mia's whole body ached. She could feel it now that she didn't feel defensive. It hurt to breathe, hurt to think. Everything pulsed with pressure, and burned like fire.
"Thank you for getting them to leave," she whispered, laying back in the bed with a wince.
"You should see a doctor soon, but I'll make sure it isn't that one."
She hated doctors, especially that one that was just in there. They reminded her too much of the one's at - .
Mia shut down the thought, squeezing her eyes closed to stop the flow of painful, horrid memories.
"You should sleep," Bucky said, distracting her from her internal struggle.
She nodded, "Will you come back tomorrow?"
He came back everyday for the next few days. The pair didn't talk much, but they were comfortable with each other's company.
Mia even decided the doctor could finally come in. This one was a woman, and she had a warm personality, almost like a mother.
"You have some breaks that have healed improperly. We might have to reset those if possible. You're also covered in cuts and stab wounds of all kinds. You're dangerously underweight. We need to do a CT scan to know exactly what's going on." The doctor smiled gently, looking up from her clipboard. "Maybe you could tell Mr. Barnes what happened so we can get you proper help."
Mia gripped Bucky's gloved hand tightly, watching the doctor's every move.
The smile never faded from her kind face, "I'll have a nurse come in and prep you for that scan."
As soon as she was gone, Mia panicked once more. "No, no, Bucky. I don't want to go. I don't want to be scanned," she whimpered.
"Shh," he soothed, wiping away the tears with the pads of his covered thumb. "It doesn't hurt. I wouldn't let them hurt you."
A nurse knocked on the door. She set a cup on the table near the bed. "This is contrast so the doctor can see on the scan. Once you drink that, we should be good to go in about an hour. Do you have questions I can answer for you?"
Mia managed just the slightest shake of your head.
"Okay, call me when you finish that, or if you need me."
Whatever was in the cup was chalky and bitter, and hard to get down.
Bucky couldn't contain a chuckle at the adorable, disgusted faces Mia made.
"Don't laugh," Mia pouted, a twitch of a smile threatening to form. It was the first smile she had in a very long time. "You'll go with me, won't you?"
"Of course I will," he said. "I won't be able to go in the room with the scan, but I will be watching. I won't let anything happen to you."
Except, Mia didn't know that, and as soon as she was seperated from Bucky, she could feel the pressure in her chest. Her heart pounded viciously as she tried to force herself upright. Her ears were ringing so much that she couldn't hear or see what was going on around her. All she could see was the fleeting image of the metal table she had been forced to lay on, day in and day out. All the pain and screaming.
The memories that were trapping her began to disappear when she heard her name, the ringing becoming pesky background noise as Bucky's blurry image focused.
"Hey now," he said, pushing her sweaty hair out of her face. He was no stranger to panic attacks. "You're okay, Mia."
She wasn't okay. The only time she was ever okay was when he was around, and that scared her too.
"If you do this, they'll know what's wrong and you can get out of here quicker."
"I hate this table," she cried, gripping his hands. "It's just like the one-"
"I know," Bucky whispered. He didn't know, but he would eventually. He needed to make sure the problem was taken care of. "I know it is, but you can do it. Nobody's going to hurt you."
Sam had been watching the exchange. He had been bringing Bucky some food when he had caught the scene.
"What's all this about?" Sam asked curiously. He had never seen the serious man so soft before. Normally, this would be a cause for some teasing, but this was a bit too sensitive for that.
"Don't ask," Bucky huffed, taking the bag of food from him. "Thank you. They only serve garbage here. She's not going to be able to put on any weight with that shit."
Sam eyed him curiously. "You've been with her for almost a week, so it is something, and I'll get it out of you eventually. You have me to thank for this."
"Yeah, whatever," he rolled his eyes. "I do need something from you. I need to know where she came from. I plan on taking a trip."
----
"Do you have to go?" Mia whispered sleepily. The hospital room was dark aside from a lamp. Usually, she was asleep when he left, but she had been extra clingy after the severe anxiety from the day. "I hate it when you leave."
That pulled at Bucky's heartstrings. He had developed strong feelings for the sweet brown haired girl.
"I'll even give you my bed," she said, her doe-like eyes catching the light.
He smiled, bending down closer, "You need to get some sleep. I'll be here in the morning."
"Please." She squished herself to oneside and patted the empty space.
Bucky sighed, "I can't. I have nightmares. I don't want to wake you. Plus, the bed is small. You're going to get hurt."
"I have nightmares, too. We can wake each other." She bit her lip and his resolve was slipping.
The fact was, he didn't want to leave. Not one bit. He wanted to be by her side all of the time.
"Alright, but if you need me to move or if I hurt you, you let me know." He laid beside of her, his ribs pressing harshly against the arms of the bed. It was not comfortable, not until Mia moved close.
He helped her adjust so she was half on top of him, giving him enough room to move over. She pressed her cheek to his chest with a content sigh.He felt content, too, like he finally belonged somewhere.
"Take the gloves off, Bucky. You can't sleep in those," she mumbled.
He hesitated. He didn't want her to be afraid of him. He didn't know what she knew of him, or what she had seen.
"You're the only person I'm not scared of," she continued gently.
He pulled off the flesh one first, and then slowly the vibranium one.
She smiled up at him, reaching for his metal fingers, "I knew this one felt different."
Bucky chuckled, the sound vibrating and tickling Mia. He pulled the scratchy blanket over her tiny frame.
"Get some rest."
----
🥺🥺🥺 This was a long one but it's been circling in my head for a while. Part 2? Thoughts?
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