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#both of them seem to have lost the spark)
ellemj · 5 months
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Bigger Than He Was
Bucky Barnes x Female Reader One-Shot: SMUT
Request by @littlemiss-yeehaw: jealous!Bucky, fake dating, handjob.
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Summary: Bucky pretends to be your new man when you run into your ex in public. However, the little act of pretending sparks something inside of him that he didn't know was there.
Warnings: profanity, alcohol consumption, handjob, oral (male receiving), unprotected sex, breeding kink, slight size kink, jealous!Bucky, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!
Word Count: 7.8k
A/N: The first request I wrote from the smut menu had to be from my Tumblr best friend. Not only does she pre-read nearly everything that I post, but she keeps me from deleting my blog on a near daily basis, and she keeps me sane. I hope you all enjoy it as much as she did. If it wasn't for this girl, my blog would've been deleted before Needs & Wants was ever completed lmao.
            You’ve decided that no one in the world looks more out of place than a super soldier in a grocery store. Specifically, a super soldier in the produce aisle of a small local market. He looks like a bull in a China shop as he scours through a bin of tomatoes to find ones he approves of. He holds one tomato in each of his leather gloved hands as he compares them carefully, acting like choosing between the two is every bit as difficult as deciding whether someone lives or dies in his usual line of work.
            “They’re pretty much the same, Bucky, and we only need two. Just put them in a bag.”  You say with a sigh, resting your elbows on the handle of the shopping cart that you’ve been pushing as you’ve trailed behind him. Though you’re the one carrying the team’s grocery list, Bucky’s been the one pulling things off of the shelves and setting them in the cart. You originally suggested each of you taking half of the list and splitting up to get the shopping done faster, and to avoid the pointless arguments and annoyances you’d face in each other’s presence, but Bucky’s only response to your idea was a furrowed brow and silence. So, you’ve been following him around with the shopping cart safely between the two of you.
            Bucky starts to put both of the tomatoes down and pick two different ones just to bother you, but he takes the high road and bags the two he’s already holding instead. He’s usually assigned to grocery shopping with Sam, which he definitely prefers, but with Sam off to visit his family this week, he ended up being stuck with you.
            “What’s next?” Bucky asks, setting the plastic bag of produce in the cart and then casting you a sideways glance. You cross tomatoes off of the small piece of paper in your hand before moving on to read the next item.
            “We’re done with food items, next is ibuprofen, melatonin, and some feminine products.” You answer, lifting your gaze to meet his as you tap the pen against the piece of paper absentmindedly. Bucky nods curtly and starts leading the way down the aisle, knowing all of the aisles with medication, first aid, and toiletry type supplies are on the opposite end of the store. You follow a few feet behind him, missing your usual shopping buddy, Wanda. Though it’s a menial task, you always seem to have a fun time when the two of you are on the grocery schedule for the week. Bucky is a stark contrast to your far more bubbly, lighthearted friend.
            You’re lost in thought as you turn a corner and enter the pharmacy aisle, not paying any attention as Bucky looks through various types of over-the-counter medications. It isn’t until you hear a voice one aisle over that you straighten up and tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear. The voice sounds familiar, so familiar that you find your ears straining to hear it better so you can identify it. Is it an old friend? Someone from SHIELD? You can’t be sure, but you’re starting to think it isn’t a friend by the way your nerves seem to be rising with every incoherent word that they mutter. You leave Bucky standing at one end of the aisle as you walk ahead, trying to get closer to the source of the voice. You’re nearly at the opposite end of the aisle when suddenly, the front end of another shopping cart appears and quickly turns in front of you, almost colliding with the front end of yours. You stop abruptly for two reasons. The first reason being so you don’t cause a pileup on aisle thirteen. The second reason being because you now see whose voice was causing your heart rate to elevate and your stomach to twist into a knot. Your fucking ex-boyfriend.
            “Oh, wow, hey!” The man before you extends the greeting so casually, as if he didn’t waste a year of your life with meaningless words and empty promises. He raises a hand to rub the back of his neck, his eyes darting over his shoulder just as a pretty blonde woman steps into view. Oh. “This is uh, this is my girlfriend.” He gestures to the woman before looking back at you with a wary glance, clearly trying to gauge how you feel about him committing to someone new so soon. The woman offers a small smile and wave as she introduces herself by name, but it all goes right over your head. You’re frozen like a deer in headlights, unable to tear your eyes away from the piece of shit behind the cart full of organic produce and a questionable amount of wine.
            Bucky’s watching everything unfold from a few yards behind, acting as if he’s still deciding between a name brand bottle of ibuprofen and a generic version of the same. He gives you a few seconds to soak in the obviously awkward social situation as his eyes analyze your body language. You’re tense, your grip on the handle of the shopping cart is so tight that your knuckles are turning white. It’s been ten seconds since the woman introduced herself to you and you still haven’t uttered a word. Bucky glances to his right and notices the selection of condoms, lube, and pregnancy tests spread over the shelves next to the medication section. He only takes a second to weigh his options: let you continue to flounder in front of your shitty ex and his new victim or offer you an easy reprieve while simultaneously sending your ex into a mental spiral. His gloved hand wraps around a couple of boxes of pregnancy tests and he pulls them off of the shelf, signifying he’s chosen the latter.
            “Oh, trying for a baby?” Your ex jokes when Bucky approaches from behind you and drops a handful of pregnancy tests into the cart.
            “No, it’s just smart to have a few of these on hand when we only ever fuck raw. Do we know you?” Bucky’s tone is calm and even, like he’s just said something completely within the ordinary. It breaks you out of the trance you were in and you blink your eyes as you feel the heat from Bucky’s body enveloping you in warmth. He cages your body between his and the cart, his chest brushing against your back as he places his hands on either side of yours on the shopping cart handle. You don’t see the way his lips curve upward into a shit-eating grin as your ex’s face falls at both Bucky’s unfiltered words and the public display of affection he’s witnessing.
            “Aren’t you…” The man addresses Bucky with slightly widened eyes and an unsure voice. You almost laugh at the effect Bucky has on the poor guy’s demeanor, and the fact that Bucky towers a few inches over the man is just icing on the cake.
            “Bucky.” Your ex has just realized that not only are you grocery shopping with the Winter Soldier, but you’ve also been letting him fuck you.
---
            Your week has been full of unexpected moments, but two stand out in particular. The first moment was when Bucky so calmly chose to play the role of your fake boyfriend at the grocery store three nights ago. Nearly every waking moment since then has been spent replaying it in your head, wondering why he decided to step in and do that for you, why he decided to take such a blunt approach and tell your ex that the two of you prefer unprotected sex, and how the hell he acted as if nothing happened immediately after the interaction was over. The second moment is unfolding right now. Your eyes are locked in on your phone screen as you mull over the text that’s displayed there.
            Are you free tonight? Would love to sit down and catch up, want to talk about things.
            You don’t have the number saved in your phone but you know exactly who it is. It’s the same shitty ex you ran into two nights ago, the same one who now thinks you’re fucking the Winter Soldier. Before you’ve even considered responding, a second message from the same unsaved number rolls in.
            I’ll be at the bar we used to go to, the one off of 83rd street, in an hour. Hope to see you there.
            The way your face scrunches up in confusion at the sight of the two texts on your phone screen piques Bucky’s interest as he steps off of the elevator and uses the collar of his t-shirt to dab sweat off of his neck. He’s just finished a pretty strenuous workout and had every intention of heading straight to his room to shower and spend the rest of the night in there, but he can’t ignore the feeling of some kind of invisible string tugging him in your direction. It was only two nights ago that he pressed himself against you in the grocery store and pretended like he knew what it’s like to have you in his bed.  It was only two nights ago that you became a near constant thought in the back of his mind.
            “Don’t tell me he texted you.” Bucky’s voice catches you off guard. You lift your gaze from your phone screen and lean back into the couch cushions, attempting to look perfectly at ease in his presence. Truth be told, you’ve been a little on edge around him since the night in the grocery store, but you don’t know why. Maybe because he saw you in such an embarrassing and vulnerable moment, in your own personal hell.
            “He didn’t text me.” You lie, watching him carefully as the elevator doors close behind him and he takes the few steps across the room to reach the sectional you’re currently lounging on. It’s odd to see him sink into the opposite end of the piece of furniture so comfortably, like he’s such a normal guy. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him sit in the living room of his own free will, and it’s a sight to see.
            “You’re a bad liar.” Bucky huffs. His expression turns thoughtful as he thinks back to his encounter with your ex that night. The corners of Bucky’s lips curl up into a smile when he remembers the way the guy practically shrank when he heard that the two of you like to fuck raw. “What does he want?” Bucky seems to have a sixth sense about this shit, so you decide to go with it and tell him the truth, see where it gets you.
            “He said he wants to catch up and talk about things.”
            “Right after seeing you with another guy.” Bucky points out, hoping you’ll see where this is going. You shrug your shoulders and cross your arms over your chest.
            “I guess so, or maybe it’s unrelated. People break up and then discuss it later for closure sometimes, it’s a thing, Bucky.”
            “So, you’re going?”
            “I haven’t decided yet.” You answer honestly. You watch as Bucky nods slowly, as if he’s digesting the information and deciding what to do with it. He uses the collar of his t-shirt to wipe a bit of sweat away from his neck again, drawing your gaze down to the flexing of his bicep. You’re quick to avert your gaze back up to his eyes, but the satisfied smirk on his face tells you that he caught you looking.
            “We’re going.” Bucky decides, sitting up a little straighter on the couch and running a hand through his sweaty hair. The bewildered look that takes over your face says it all.
            “What the hell do you mean we’re going? There’s no we here, it’s just me.”
            “I meant exactly what I said, we’re going.”
---
            You stand in the garage of the compound, where everyone’s various vehicles are stored away safely. Your fingers pick at the frays of your black jeans absentmindedly as you lean against a concrete pillar, waiting for Bucky. You know you should just get in your own car and leave without him, there’s absolutely no good that will come out of letting him tag along for this. Yet, something in the back of your mind is tugging at you to stay and wait for him, to see what might come of this. Looking up at your reflection in the car window a few feet away from you, you take in the sight of your little ensemble. You’re wearing dark jeans paired with a tight little long-sleeved crop top that shows the tiniest bit of your midriff. You wanted to wear something fairly plain yet something that showed a little skin, so this is what you settled on.
            Unbeknownst to you, Bucky’s outfit for tonight will go well with your own. He’s wearing dark jeans as well, but with a dark t-shirt and black leather jacket. As the elevator carries him down to the lowest floor of the compound, he has a brief second of clarity where he asks himself what the fuck he thinks he’s doing. First, he went against every rational thought in his mind when he pretended to be your boyfriend in a damn grocery store. Then, he spent two nights thinking about what it might’ve been like if he actually had been fucking you raw like he’d told to your ex he was. Those two nights ruined him. You ruined him. It took less than 48 hours for his mind to become completely preoccupied with you.
            When the elevator slows to a stop and the doors slide open to let him into the private parking garage beneath the compound, his eyes fall on you instantly. Fuck. One look at you and he’s immediately decided that you’re not taking a car, no, you’re taking his bike. Hell, you’re dressed near-perfectly for it. The only issue is that bit of smooth skin you have showing beneath the hem of your little top, he’s not going to take you out on his bike and risk ruining that perfect skin of yours with road rash.
            The ding of the elevator draws your attention to your right, where Bucky is stepping into the parking garage looking totally different than when you saw him upstairs half an hour ago. His messy hair has been washed and dried, his flesh and metal biceps are hidden within the sleeves of his leather jacket, and his neck is no longer glistening with a sheen of sweat. You’re unashamedly focusing on the way his jeans are accentuating the muscles of his thighs when he starts stripping off his leather jacket.
            “Put this on.” He says as he holds the jacket out to you with one hand, reaching into the back pocket of his jeans with the other to fish out the key for his bike. Your eyes widen as you stare at the jacket in his outstretched hand. Shaking your head, you take a step back from him.
            “Why?”
            “Because you’re not riding on the back of my bike with skin showing, it’s not safe.”
            “The back of your bike? Bucky, we’re taking a car.” You say defiantly, crossing your arms over your chest. Bucky can’t ignore the way your breasts are slightly pushed up by the action, a hint of cleavage peeking out over the lowcut neckline of your top. He quickly averts his gaze back to his motorcycle that stands a few feet in front of you both, a sigh leaving his lips at your stubbornness.
            “Just put on the damn jacket.” He says, looking over at you one more time, but this time with a softened expression. You don’t know why you comply and take the jacket from him, but you do. It’s warmed from his body heat when you slip your arms into it and the way it engulfs you and pulls down on your shoulders with a bit of weight is almost comforting.
            The motorcycle ride to the bar, however, is anything but comforting. The only other time you’ve ever been so close to Bucky was that night at the grocery store when he cozied up behind you for show. But this felt different. This involved your chest pressed against his back, your inner thighs brushing against his hips, and your arms wrapped around his torso. This felt intimate. It felt the same way to Bucky and he couldn’t ignore it, no matter how hard he tried. When he stopped at a redlight in the city, you let your hold around his abdomen relax for a moment. Your hands slid down to rest on the tops of his thighs as you remained pressed against his back, and he was praying for the light to turn green again before one of your hands had a chance to shift and find out how hard he was beneath the fabric of his jeans. He can only blame himself for the torture, since he was the one that insisted you take the bike.
            When you turn onto the right street, you’re quick to tap Bucky’s thigh with your hand, completely missing the way he tenses up beneath your unexpected touch. You use that same hand to point to a small parking garage across the street from the bar that you’ll be heading into, and Bucky gets the signal. It’s only two minutes later that he’s parking his bike on the third floor of the garage and trying to keep his eyes off of you as you stand beside the bike, removing your helmet carefully. Some part of him can’t help but think that you’re being so careful because you want to look your best when you waltz into the bar to meet your ex, and he fucking hates it. He has the sudden urge to mess your hair up and send you in there looking like shit. But that urge only makes him think about all of the ways he could mess your hair up. He could grab you by it and pull you against him, he could run his hands through it and rake it into a ponytail while you’re on your knees for him…shit. He just volunteered to drive you to the bar to meet your ex. He can’t do a damn thing.
            You hand Bucky your helmet and immediately start smoothing down your hair, seeing the look of disdain he gives you but choosing to ignore it. He had no obligation to be here with you tonight, but he insisted, so he has to put up with it.
            “You don’t have to go in with me, I can do this on my own.” You say, hoping Bucky will choose to wait for you in the parking garage rather than go inside the bar with you.
            “What are you planning to do?” Bucky asks, swinging his leg over as he dismounts the bike and joins you on the concrete floor. He stands in front of you, slipping his gloves off and resting them on the seat of the bike before reaching under the chin of his helmet to undo the strap there. Your eyes drift to the veins on his flesh hand and golden accents on his vibranium hand as you formulate a believable response.
            “Hear him out, give him closure or whatever he’s here for.”
            “Whatever he’s here for?” Bucky repeats your words almost sarcastically, scoffing beneath his helmet. When he pulls it off and rests it on the seat next to his gloves, you can see he’s scowling. “Why are you playing dumb? He’s here for you.”
            “No, he isn’t. He’s with someone else now, and he thinks I am too.” You point out. A low chuckle rumbles past Bucky’s lips as he runs a hand through his hair and starts toward the concrete staircase on the other end of the floor.
            “That’s exactly why he’s doing this, because he thinks you’re with someone else and he can’t stand it.” Bucky sounds so sure of himself, as if he’s experienced something like this before. In fact, he sounds so sure that it makes you wonder if he really has experienced this before.
            “You think he’s jealous? You saw the girl he was with, didn’t you?” You question, falling into step next to Bucky. His leather jacket still sits heavy on your shoulders but giving it back to him hasn’t even crossed your mind yet. Bucky’s hoping you’ll forget about it and keep it on when you walk in and sit down across from that piece of shit ex you’re here for.
            “She doesn’t have shit on you and he knows it.” His words leave your lips parted and your eyes widening in surprise as he reaches the staircase and starts heading down in front of you. As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. For the most part, you’ve only ever heard him talk about you with an air of annoyance or indifference, but you could swear that what he just said was almost complimentary. If you could see the grimace on Bucky’s face, you’d know you were right. When he saw the blonde in the grocery store, he wanted to laugh at the way the guy had downgraded after losing you. She was pretty, sure, but you glow like the fucking sun even on your worst day.
            “So, what should I be doing here tonight then?” You ask, knowing Bucky probably has a plan in mind if he came all this way just to witness what’s about to go down.
            “Showing him that you don’t need him, that you’re better off without him.” You reach the bottom of the stairs and step out onto the sidewalk across from the bar. Bucky turns to face you as you scan the area for a crosswalk.
            “And how do I do that?”
            “For starters…” Bucky says, stepping closer to you and grabbing the front of his leather jacket that you’re still sporting, “keep this on.”
---
            Bucky’s been standing at the bar for the last fifteen minutes, nursing both a beer and an aching jaw. The ache is from how hard he’s been clenching his teeth together since your ex strolled in and took the seat across from you at a little two-seater table across the room. Of course, the guy showed up without his new girl. And, of course, he’s been trying like hell to get you to smile and laugh at whatever half-assed jokes he’s been cracking since he sat down. Bucky knew the guy wasn’t after closure.
            He watches with a less-than-pleased look on his face as the guy leans his elbows on the table and rests his hands a little too close to yours, but you don’t pull away. You’re sitting facing Bucky’s direction, yet you haven’t once let your eyes flit up to meet his. It’s infuriating. Bucky strains his ears to pick out your conversation through the din of the usual bar chatter around him. He listens intently as the guy tells you that it was nice to run into you at the grocery store, that he didn’t know if he’d ever see you again, that he missed the way you laughed. What a fucking ass. If Bucky remembers correctly, from overhearing gossip among the team, the guy had you nearly head over heels for him, and then one day he pulled the rug out from under you in and instant. He never even gave you much of a reason why. He simply called you up, ended the relationship over the phone, and a week later you heard through the grapevine that he’d met someone else. Why you felt compelled to meet the guy here tonight, Bucky will never understand. He doesn’t think the prick deserves even a minute of your time.
            “So, you’re really seeing someone else now?” The man’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard to Bucky’s sensitive ears, but he continues to focus on your conversation anyway. Bucky has to know how you’ll respond. He watches out of the corner of his eye as you push a stray lock of hair back over your shoulder, over the shoulder of his leather jacket, and then you blush. Why are you blushing? Bucky’s heart starts to race in the slightest because he can’t figure out if you’re blushing at the idea of you and him being together or at your ex prying into your personal life.
            “Yeah, he uh…at the grocery store, he…” You stutter through your answer. Like Bucky previously said, you’re a bad liar. The pink showing through the skin of your cheeks darkens another shade as you look away from your ex. Your eyes finally land on Bucky, who’s now standing at the bar facing you head-on. He holds your gaze assuredly and gives you a small nod, letting you know that you’re saying the right things. Somehow, just making eye contact with him and getting that small nod of approval calms your nerves.
            “Right, I remember. I guess I kind of thought that was a joke.”
            “A joke?” You ask, a bit offended at your ex’s confession. He rubs his hand across the back of his neck and lets out an awkward laugh before leaning back in his chair comfortably and taking a sip of his drink.
            “Yeah, I mean the guy said you only ever fuck raw. You never once asked me to fuck you raw. It just didn’t sound believable.” Huh. You’re silent for a moment as you sip on your own drink and let your gaze float back to Bucky once more, unaware that he’s just heard every word that the man said. The two of you stare at each other with some kind of…tension in the air between your table and the bar. Honestly, if you and Bucky were actually together in some alternate universe where you didn’t find each other incredibly annoying from the start, you think you would love to let him fuck you without protection. Something about it just sounds so filthy and enticing. But when you imagine it with the man that’s currently sitting in front of you, the man who promised you a lifetime and then kicked you to the curb like a broken piece of furniture, you cringe. No, you never asked him to take off the condom, and you probably never would have. Truthfully, that should’ve been a sign.
            Bucky’s eyes analyze the two of you as you put on a tight-lipped smile and then relax in your seat, fiddling with the zipper of the leather jacket draped around your frame.
            “It didn’t sound believable?” You ask softly, looking up through your lashes in a way that makes Bucky’s cock twitch, and he’s not even the one you’re looking at. When you do flit your eyes over to him, he can sense the change in your demeanor instantly. You’re not coming off so lighthearted and timid now, you’re giving off an air that says you-don’t-know-who-the-fuck-I-am anymore. “When I look at you, I can’t even fathom the two of us having unprotected sex. It never once crossed my mind to ask you for that. But when I look at him?” You let your gaze travel over to Bucky once more, and this time your ex catches on. He turns in his chair, scanning the bar behind him until he sees the super soldier leaning against the bar with a smug smile on full display. “When I look at him, I can’t stop imagining it.”
---
            Bucky’s leather jacket weighing on your shoulders, his body warmth seeping through his t-shirt and offering you reprieve from the wind that’s hitting you both head-on, his right hand reaching back to grip the side of your thigh as he weaves his bike skillfully in and out of traffic on the way back to the compound. All of those things are mixing and swirling together to create a near suffocating tension. You’re focusing on keeping your helmet from bumping into the back of his and even more than that, on keeping your mind out of the damn gutter. What you’d said back at the bar, the final thing you’d said before your ex realized he had no chance at getting back together with you, it was true. When you look at Bucky, you can’t stop imagining him fucking you without anything between your body and his. You don’t know when that started or when it might end, but it’s true. So, you left with him, climbing onto the back of his bike much more willingly than you had earlier in the evening. Not because you wanted to be close to him, but because you wanted to get home as fast as possible so you could get the hell away from him. Where on earth did this new found attraction come from? Why was your mind betraying your body with every single glance in his direction? Fuck physiology.
            Bucky can almost hear you overthinking behind him as he turns off of the interstate and onto a quiet, private road leading up to the compound. Hell, he’s overthinking too. He heard what you said at the bar, and he saw the look in your eyes when you said it. Had you been thinking about him the same way he’d been thinking about you since that night at the grocery store. No, there’s no way. If you really had been, then you wouldn’t have wanted to meet up with your ex tonight. Bucky lets out a breath and slows the bike as he nears the entrance to the parking garage. Neither of you said a word when your ex stormed out of the bar, nor did either of you when you made the walk across the street to the public parking garage and started the ride back home. It’s been silent, unbearably silent for too long.
            When Bucky finally parks the bike among the various vehicles owned by your friends and colleagues that reside upstairs, it seems as though you can’t get away from him fast enough. You swing your leg over and dismount the bike quickly before slipping your helmet off and taking a few steps over to the wall to set it on the shelf it originally came from. You’re halfway to the elevator when Bucky speaks, stopping you in your tracks.
            “The jacket, sweetheart.” He says coolly. When you turn around, you see him still sitting on the bike, looking down at the helmet he holds in his hands. It almost bothers you that he isn’t looking back at you. He can call you sweetheart but he can’t lift his eyes to your face? You let out a deep sigh before walking back over to him and standing a foot away from him and the bike. You strip off the leather jacket a bit reluctantly before holding it out to him. You have to admit you feel a bit like you’re missing something without it on now. Bucky takes it without glancing in your direction, and as soon as you turn on your heel to walk away, you can hear him dismounting the bike and setting his own helmet on the shelf. You’ve just hit the button to call the elevator down to the garage when he decides to speak once again. “You’re a bad liar.”
            “What?”
            “You’re a bad liar. I don’t know much about you, but I know that.” Bucky says. You stand in front of the elevator but you can’t tear your gaze away from him when he’s speaking so ominously. You watch him carefully as he turns away from the shelf and faces you, but still doesn’t lift his gaze to meet yours. Instead, he smooths out his leather jacket before laying it over one arm and tucking the keys to his bike into the back pocket of his jeans.
            “What does that have to do with anything?” You question, crossing your arms over your chest. Your eyes dart back to the screen above the elevator. It’s still so many floors away from reaching you.
            “I knew you were lying when you told me he hadn’t texted you. I don’t even think your piece-of-shit ex believed you at first when he asked if you were really seeing someone new, you couldn’t even get a full sentence out. You’re a bad liar.” The words pour out of his mouth with ease, as if he pre-planned the entire speech. When you don’t say anything, he finally lifts his eyes to meet your narrowed stare. A shiver runs down your spine, but you blame it on the fact that you’re no longer wearing his jacket. “When I look at him, I can’t stop imagining it.” When Bucky repeats your words so perfectly, you can feel all of the color draining from your face. “When you said that, you didn’t stutter, you didn’t hesitate. You weren’t lying.”
            “You think I was being honest?” The question leaves your lips with a hint of anger edging each word. Bucky merely shrugs in response, tilting his head to the side as he waits for you to answer your own question, since it’s obvious that he thinks you were being honest. “You think I look at you and imagine you fucking me raw?”
            “Do you?” Bucky taunts, licking his bottom lip before drawing it between his lips and pressing his top teeth into it. Your gaze darts down to his lips against your better judgement, and when your eyes settle back on his, all you see is a reflection of what you’re sure your own eyes are showing. Lust. He thinks about it. He thinks about fucking you raw. In this moment, you’re sure. In fact, he’s thinking about it right now.
            Your feet start moving before you even have a moment to consider the action, they’re carrying you straight toward him, ignoring the elevator that’s just arrived to take you away from him. When you stop a few inches in front of him, he’s staring down at you with a raised brow and building anticipation. He wants your answer.
            “Yes.” You breathe the word out. In an instant, Bucky’s dropping his jacket to the floor and tangling his flesh hand in the hair at the nape of your neck as his pulls you into him, crashing his lips against yours. It’s a kiss that takes your breath away and fills your lungs with a fiery burn, yet you don’t want to break for air. You kiss him back, moving your lips to suck along his bottom one as you tilt your head to the right to give each of you better access. Bucky languidly drags the tip of his tongue along your top lip before snaking it lower and letting it delve into your mouth. God, he might’ve imagined fucking you but truthfully, he forgot to imagine kissing you. He never would’ve thought it could be this good. His vibranium arm wraps around your lower back, pulling you closer into him until his body warmth begins sending tingles across the surface of your skin. Once he has you flush against him, that same cool metal hand begins unwrapping from your back and traveling down until it’s in place to grip a handful of your ass, hard. When you gasp into the kiss, Bucky pulls back and bites down on your bottom lip. Fuck. If you don’t stop him now, he won’t be able to stop himself from having you right here in the garage. As if you’re reading his mind, you place both hands on his chest and pull your head back until there’s an inch of space between your mouths. While your eyes are focused on his pink nose and swollen lips, your mind is focused on what you feel pressing against your thigh. He’s fully erect, his cock straining against the front of his jeans just from kissing you. You could overthink this, let your mind weigh all of the pros and cons of what’s happening right now, and then convince yourself to be responsible and go upstairs to your own room, pretending this never happened. But for some reason, your right hand is already coasting down his chest, over his abs, and sliding between your lower bodies. You find yourself palming the outline of his cock, offering him such a perfect amount of pressure and friction that he can’t help but lean his hips forward and press his cock further into your touch.
            “If you don’t stop now…” Bucky rasps, but his eyes flutter closed and he bites down on his lower lip before he’s even finished the sentence, your sensual touch getting the better of him.
            “If I don’t stop now?” You encourage him to say what he wants to say, but you can’t fight the teasing smile that’s beginning to play on your lips.
            “If you don’t stop now, you won’t be able to return all of those pregnancy tests on your next grocery run.” You laugh lightly as you lean in and press a soft kiss against Bucky’s jawline, continuing to rub his erection through the taut fabric of his jeans.             “Are you thinking about fucking me raw, James?” You tease. Bucky groans before opening his eyes and pulling you away from his jaw by your hair. He doesn’t stop you from slowly sliding your hand back and forth along the outline of his cock, but he makes sure you’re looking right in his eyes before he speaks again.
            “Right here in this damn parking garage.”
            Without a single thought in either of your minds, Bucky lets you push your palms flat against his chest and walk him back until he stumbles onto the seat of his motorcycle. In one swift movement, you slip your hand past the waistband of his jeans and boxers and the warm skin of your hand comes into contact with his hard length, without anything between the two of you. Bucky lets out a heady groan and his hands begin moving all on their own, working to unbutton and unzip his jeans to give your hand as much space as possible. As soon as he has his pants undone, you shift your hand and wrap it firmly around his cock, giving it a slow stroke inside of his boxers. When you near the head of it, a bead of precum drips onto the side of your thumb and you smile to yourself as you spread it back over the smooth tip of his cock. What is it about having a man this way that makes a woman feel so damn powerful? Bucky looks at you with a mix of annoyance and awe at the way you’re working his cock so effortlessly yet turning him into putty in your hands. He’ll let you have your fun for now, and then he’ll show you that he can have the same effect on you.
            The moment your eyes lock onto his, he slides his right hand along the side of your jaw and pulls you in for a kiss, the taste of your lips and the feel of your hand stroking back and forth along his hard-on is nearly enough to send him over the edge, and he inhales sharply, tugging his lips away from your own.
            “I’m not going to have much use for those pregnancy tests if we keep going like this, am I?” You ask jokingly, as you remove your hand from Bucky’s pants and raise it up to your face. Bucky runs a hand through his hair as he blows out a breath and watches you intently. Your thumb, still a bit shiny and wet from his precum, ventures dangerously close to your mouth. You keep your eyes trained on Bucky’s as you use that same thumb to tug down your bottom lip before sliding it into your mouth and sucking.
            “Oh, fuck.” Bucky groans, his rationality fleeing as his own flesh hand delves into his pants and begins mimicking your actions from a moment ago. The way your eyes follow his movements, your pupils blown wide with lust as you watch him touch himself, it’s too damn much for him. He grabs you by the hair once again, in that desperate, needy way that you’re quickly growing to love, and pulls you against his chest, kissing you as fervently as the first time. However, this kiss doesn’t last. He pulls away from you in an instant and suddenly, his hand is on your shoulder, pushing you down to your knees. Before you reach the floor, he uses the toe of his boot to slide his discarded leather jacket across the floor to cushion your knees. So fucking thoughtful.
            Bucky stands up with you on your knees in front of him and his bike resting on its kickstand behind him. His eyes never part from your face as he pushes his already undone pants and boxers down his thighs just enough to free his cock from their confines. Your breath hitches in your throat as soon as you lay eyes on it, as soon as you lay eyes on the sheer size of it. Bucky doesn’t make a move to stop you as you reach up with both hands and take hold of his length, using one hand to begin stroking it from the base to the tip while your other hand grips his thigh. Your eyes widen at the way it looks even bigger in your hand, which is a mental image that Bucky will probably be recalling every day for the rest of his life. You’re more than ready to lean in and take him in your mouth, to experience every second of what it’s like to suck him off, but his gentle touch halts your movements. His flesh hand softly cups the side of your face as he lets his thumb caress the skin over your cheekbone.
            “You’re so much bigger than he was.” You whisper, your eyes traveling up Bucky’s torso until you’re getting lost in his gaze. It’s true. Your ex was…well below average in this department. But Bucky? God, Bucky is so far above average it’s actually making you wonder if you can even fit half of him in your mouth. Bucky chuckles lowly before tracing your bottom lip with his thumb, and then copying your earlier move. He slips the pad of his thumb between your lips and watches with hooded eyes as you eagerly accept it, sucking on it gently. Fuck. He’s so ruined. Only a moment later, he’s standing there with his head thrown back and a string of curses are falling from his mouth as you bob your head back and forth, letting his cock slide along your tongue and brush against the back of your throat repeatedly. He’s fully lost in the pleasure of your mouth. He’s so lost, in fact, that when you grip his thighs with both hands and lean into him as far as you possibly can, letting your nose brush against his lower stomach and your throat tighten around his shaft as you gag, he lets out a groan that reverberates through the parking garage and sends a fresh wave of heat straight to your core.
            “Fuck, do that again.” He rasps, finally looking down at you as you pull your head back until only the tip is resting on your tongue. A smile plays behind your eyes as you dare to look up at him. He can’t help himself. Both of his hands move to run through your hair, encouraging you to do exactly what he just said. You repeat your actions, moving your head forward and taking his entire length in until you gag a second time. But this time, Bucky holds your head still there for two seconds. His eyes squeeze shut as your throat grips his cock tighter and tighter, the sensation bringing him so close to the edge that he abruptly pulls back and leaves only half of his length for you to taste. “Just like that, shit.” Another minute of your mouth doing exactly what Bucky wants and he’s fighting with every cell in his body to delay the inevitable. He wanted to fuck you raw, truly, it was his intention from the moment you admitted you thought about it. But having you like this? Having you on your knees for him, telling him that his dick is bigger than the last piece of shit you were with? God, he’s so close to cumming in your mouth that it almost hurts.
            “I’m so fucking close.” He groans the words out as if he’s in pain, as if he’s holding back because he doesn’t want to cum in your mouth. That just won’t do. So, you release him from your mouth with a pop and start working him with your hand as you tilt your chin up to meet his gaze.
            “You don’t want to cum in my mouth?” You ask innocently, looking up at him through your lashes. It’s the same way you looked in the bar earlier and he feels his last bit of resolve crumbling. He could easily cum in your mouth, but that’s just not what he needs right now. In that desperate, needy way that you love, Bucky grasps your hair and pulls you to your feet. A whimper leaves your lips as his cock slips out of your hand.
            “No.” Bucky says calmly, turning you around and pushing your back forward until your hands land on the seat of his bike. “I’m going to give you a reason to use one of those damn pregnancy tests.”
            He’s swift in pulling down your jeans and panties with both hands, and then lining his cock up with your entrance and making you think he’s going to fuck you. But no, Bucky lets the tip of his cock gather the wetness that you’ve been sitting in since you left the bar, and then he begins chasing his release with his own hand. You let out a needy whine, pushing your hips back against him and hoping his cock will just happen to notch inside of you and slide all the way in, but Bucky isn’t going to let it happen until he’s ready.
            He has a plan. He’s going to fill you with his cum first, then use his fingers, his tongue, and his cock to fuck it back into you after. The next time your run into your ex, Bucky wants you to be so fucking pregnant that the guy loses his goddamn mind.
There will be no tag list for the smut menu requests.
6K notes · View notes
chuluoyi · 5 months
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࿐ ࿔ rivals... in love? — extended cut !
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this is pure hysterics, i'm sorry but i can't resist! tysm for the brainrot amy!! @seonghrtz 🫶🏻 mwah mwah !!
a part of gojo's love entries
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“you see… if you kiss me, i'll definitely show you just how great my lips actually are.”
you’d expect this sort of nonsense from gojo satoru, yet it was geto suguru who was standing in front of you with such genial smile that you were at a loss.
you dumbly blinked. “huh?”
“satoru said i taste like a cursed spirit, yeah?” suguru didn't seem offended, at least from how he was wording it and that eye smile. “that's a really foul accusation. i’m here to clarify—”
you widened your eyes, almost cringing. “no, no! you don’t have to—”
“SUGURU! YOU SWINE!”
a resounding bang. you whipped your head towards the door in total panic, which was... fortunately still tightly shut. satoru, who had openly declared that he was into you in the previous chapter, was hurling profanities towards his best friend, pounding against the door, visibly vexed.
“you… locked the door?” you questioned suguru in disbelief, and he merely shrugged.
“for safety purposes, yeah.”
well, if you look at satoru now... he did look like a super angry cat who was ready to pounce on suguru and claw him to shreds.
“he could've blasted it.” you glanced apprehensively toward the door, catching his eyes, and in an instant, satoru's scowl turned into the most hopeful expression of a wagging puppy—hoping for you to saunter towards him instead and desert his friend altogether.
suguru chuckled. “he can, yes, but he'll be facing yaga afterwards.”
and you. there was no way he'd scare you off by blasting a ‘red’ on a doorframe. you were clueless, but suguru knew just how soft satoru could make himself to be if it was for you.
you sighed. all you wanted was to go back to your dorms following an exhausting mission. you truly had little energy to entertain this.
meanwhile, outside, satoru was this close to kick the door off its hinges. he was having about thirty different heart attacks by witnessing how close suguru was to your vicinity. his chance was quite literally slipping by each second.
and when in his attempt to hear what the two of you were saying—
“let us just kiss then, to see what it’s like—”
“geto-san, what the—!”
and in that moment, he really saw green and really used a bit more force, tearing the knob— bang!
“don't you dare to get close to my girl, you slimy bangs!”
kapow! pow!
what was even happening? one second, suguru was almost leaning in for that kiss, and the next, satoru popped out of nowhere, tackling him to the ground. and you stood there, utterly bewildered, caught between the whirlwind of their catfight.
your first crush, whom you thought was sensible, and the most obnoxious boy who was whipped for you like a fool...
losers, you absentmindedly thought to yourself. both of them. losers…
“satoru, you're incorrigible!”
“the audacity! you know very well i like her and yet—!”
and yet, a small smile tugged at your lips when you saw how red-faced satoru was. he was genuinely upset to see you with suguru, and that sparked a sense of achievement within you.
“let's see if you will be able to make him say it...”
while you pondered, almost giddy, you were undoubtedly sure about two things at that moment: one, maybe gojo satoru wasn't that bad, he was kinda cute even, and you might consider him... and two—
shoko lost the bet, and you won.
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the-travelling-witch · 11 months
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𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋
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summary: having your period is already stressful enough and being in the devildom doesn't make it any better; luckily, these demons are here to help
pairings: mammon :: belphegor :: barbatos x reader
warnings: period-having reader (gn pronouns), blood, mild cramps
a/n: this is literally so self-indulgent, as everything i write is, but whenever i'm on my period thinking of scenarios like this helps me sit through cramps, so i thought i'd share the nonesense with you ♡
obey me masterlist || similar writing: twisted pains [twst]
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𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍
“Human! Open ya damn door!”
“No, please let me die in peace,” you whined from underneath your blankets as the banging against your door continued.
“If ya don’t let me in right now, I’ll kick it down, ya hear me?!” You could practically see Mammon pacing a ridge into the floor in front of your room, so you trudged over there and unlocked it, the demon almost colliding with you from how quickly he opened the door. His snow-white hair was sticking up from his head as if he’d run his hands through it without noticing. “What’s the big deal makin’ me wait so damn long, huh?”
“I told you I’m trying to pass away from this life,” you deadpanned, trudging back to your bed, groaning as another cramp twisted your lower stomach. “First, I have to deal with this shit in a house full of male demons who are absolutely not prepared to handle a human exchange student on their period. And second-“
You paused, for both dramatic flair and to take a calming breath. Then, you turned around and gave Mammon a saccharine smile dipping pure venom.
“I find out that apparently the entire Devildom can smell that I’m on my period if I step a foot out the bloody door.”
“Listen, I’m sorry.” Mammon held up his hands to plead his innocence. “I didn’t mean ta be so rude about it. But in my defence, I didn’t know it’s a normal thing for humans to just start bleedin’. I thought ya were dyin’!”
You painfully remembered how you had dragged yourself out of your room this morning, after luckily finding some hygiene products in the bag you had with you when you were whisked away to the Devildom unannounced (thank the sky guy you threw them into literally every bag and purse you owned). Already in a bad mood, you’d plopped down into your designated seat, ready to fight for your breakfast, only to feel six pairs of eyes on you.
“What?” You had asked, when nobody passed you the bread basket.
That had been when Mammon, eyes as wide as the coaster under your mug, almost jump-scared you into dropping your butter knife. 
“WHY ARE YA BLEEDIN’?!” He’d already pulled you from your chair and started inspecting you for any signs of injuries, tugging your arms up and inspecting your head. “Are ya hurt anywhere?”
“Mammon, I’m fine. You can let go of me now.” You almost had to wrestle your arm back from him, heat already creeping up your cheeks. 
“Clearly yer not!”
Exhaling deeply you said through gritted teeth “I’m on my period, if you have to know.”
The demons around the table had exchanged glances, but sadly only three of them had held a spark of understanding, those being Satan, Levi and Asmodeus. Mammon and Beel on the other hand seemed more lost (well, Beel actually had his eyes on his food but that was beside the point) and Lucifer’s face had been unreadable.
“Woah, periods are an actual thing?” Levi had asked incredulously, his voice somewhere between shock and awe. “I thought anime made those up for the sake of the plot.”
“I see,” Satan had given you hope. “I‘ve read about those before in some books on human anatomy but I didn’t think it was a big deal, seeing as it wasn’t talked about much.”
“Satan, pray tell, from when were those books?” 
“The 18th century perhaps?” He shrugged, tilting his head.
“Well, that explains a lot,” you had sighed, whereas Asmo had just dropped his head in his hands.
“I’m sorry about them, hon. But demons don’t experience periods, so I doubt any of them will be much help,” he had squeezed your hand sympathetically.
Lucifer had cleared his throat then. “Well, it appears that we have some catching up to do, now that we are hosting a human exchange student. Given your…predicament, you are allowed to stay home from RAD as long as this affects you.”
You had sighed a breath of relief.
“In exchange, however,” Lucifer had continued, making you dread the next words to leave his mouth, “it will fall to you that my brothers are properly educated on how to handle this side of humanity.”
So, that afternoon, you had found yourself in the common room, holding a presentation on the menstrual cycle in front of the brothers… and the future demon king himself. Yes, of course, Diavolo had gotten wind of your situation and simply couldn’t pass up the opportunity to learn more about humans. At least, him being in the know meant you’d never have to worry about getting period products imported to the Devildom ever again.
Subsequently, you had locked yourself in your room, curled up under a blanket as you scrolled through Devilgram trying to forget this whole ordeal happened. A good hour later, Mammon had started pounding against your door like a madman.
With him standing in your room now, you could see the bag he was holding as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you patted the spot next to you.
“I’ll forgive you. It would have been more embarrassing if I went to RAD without knowing,” you said placatingly. “Anyways, what’s that?”
“Oh, it’s nothin’…” Mammon trailed off, looking anywhere but you as he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s just… Ya were sayin’ this stuff could help and we didn’t have any, so I went and got some for ya… Only because Lucifer would string me from the ceiling if ya went and complained! That’s all!”
Taking the plastic bag from him, you peered inside to see various types of human world painkillers, a hot water bottle and chocolates. Despite what the demon had just said, you noted that the chocolate brand he bought was the one you liked best, something you had only dropped in a passing sentence when you talked to Asmo about a new trending dessert.
“Thank you, Mammon,” you smiled genuinely. “That actually is really helpful.”
“Really?” He managed to suppress his grin before it curled further than the corner of his lips before clearing his throat and hiding half his face behind his hand. “I mean, I’m only doin’ ma job, ya know? So Lucifer gives me back Goldie!”
“Sure you are,” you laughed, the first time since your day started.  “Does your job also involve staying with me and watching a movie?”
“Yeah!” This time he was too late to hide his excitement, then he caught himself and tried again, calmer this time. “I uh- I could fit ya in my super busy schedule. Gotta make sure ya don’t die after all, huh?”
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𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐑
What a horrible way to start your day.
Well, under other circumstances, it would’ve been near perfect. Waking up snuggled comfortably in your boyfriend’s tight hold as he lightly snored into the crook of your neck, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. 
If it wasn’t for the unpleasant twisting of your lower stomach you might have turned around and slept the morning away. Still slightly groggy, you sat up in bed, hoping dearly it was just a fleeting stomach ache or hunger and not your period, despite the clear symptoms. 
All hope was shattered however, when you shifted and you knew instantly that you could kiss this pair of underwear goodbye. With some effort, you wriggled out of Belphie’s vice grip, looking back at the sleepy demon as he groaned in protest only to see a large blood stain where you’d just lain. At your shocked gasp echoing around the attic, you watched his brows knit together and his nose wriggle, his forehead creasing as if he was deep in thought. Then, he blinked his eyes open.
“What’s—“ he cut himself off with a yawn, “What’s wrong? Are you alright? What are you doing over there?”
“Belphie… I’m so sorry,” you nearly sobbed, guilt bubbling up in you. In combination with your hormones being all over the place and your still sleep-addled mind, tears were threatening to form along your waterline.
In a heartbeat, the Avatar of Sloth was up and next to you, pulling you into a hug and bringing your head to rest against his shoulder, one hand smoothing over your hair, the other holding you close by the waist. You’d never seen him move this fast this early in the morning.
“Hey, hey, what’s up?” He gently prodded, voice still raspy with sleep but soft nonetheless. “Please talk to me, starlight.”
“It’s— Your sheets, I’m so sorry… I didn’t know…” You buried your face deeper in the fabric draping over his chest as you felt him turn his head towards the bed. Then, a beat of silence spanned across the attic.
“That’s what you’re fussing about?”
“Yeah, I mean—“ Collecting your thoughts, you began again. “It’s gross and a pain to clean. I really should’ve known that—“
“Hey, look at me.” Tilting your face towards his, your eyes met amethyst ones as you followed the guidance of his fingers underneath your chin. “It’s not gross, you hear me? No part of you could ever be.”
“But the blood-“
“I’m a demon, might I remind you. You’d think I can handle a little blood.” There was a caring seriousness in his gaze that made you weak in the knees, the love and adoration you found swirling within almost making you cry for a whole other reason. “You didn’t actually think I’d be mad at you about something so natural, did you?”
“It’s generally a bit of a taboo topic and conversations about it can be quite stigmatised, so…,” you shrugged.
“You’re telling me half the population go through this every month and the topic is hushed up anyway? You’re already stressed enough and people give you crap for something like this?” You nodded at his incredulous tone. “Well that’s just stupid.”
For a moment, Belphie just held you, his fingers tracing random shapes into your hip. Then, he pulled you towards a dresser in the corner of the room, never letting go of you completely. 
With how much time you had started spending in the attic it was a somewhat natural course of nature that your clothes would gradually end up moving here as well. Pulling out a fresh pair of underwear and a pair of black sweatpants, you didn’t have time to reach for a sweater before a soft pile of fabric was already pushed into your hands. Upon closer inspection, you identified it to be one of Belphie’s hoodies.
“I know you like wearing them,” he merely shrugged off your raised eyebrow. “Now go and take your time washing up, but make sure to come back straight away when you’re done.”
Practically herding you out of the door, you almost had to snort at the irony of the Avatar of Sloth encouraging you to do something you might not have had the energy to otherwise. But you were incredibly thankful for it because when the shower’s warm water hit you, you noticed how much you needed this, feeling born anew after scrubbing your skin clean.
Climbing back up the stairs to the attic, you already felt a lot calmer than when you had woken up, swaddled in Belphie’s cloud-like hoodie (seriously, where did he find fabric like that?) and surrounded by a mixture of his scent and your body wash.
When you pushed open the attic door, you blinked at the new set of sheets Belphie was lounging on, the old ones nowhere to be seen. Even without you moving, the demon perked up at your presence, extending one arm to coax you back into bed.
“What are you still doing over there? Come here,” he said, voice already drowsy again. “There’s still some morning left to be slept away.”
Who were you to refuse? Sliding under the covers next to him, you turned and twisted into whatever pretzel position made you cramp the least before two strong arms wrapped around you. This was another perk of being with Belphie; if anyone could accommodate weird sleeping positions, it was him.
Warm hands found their way under his hoodie, his palms pressed flatly against your lower back where most of your pain was coming from, while the hips of his fingers slowly caressed the surrounding skin.
“Feeling better?” He mumbled into the crown of your head.
“Mhm, much better,” you breathed into the crook of his neck, sighing as his natural body heat slowly eased some of the constant pressure in both your lower stomach and back. “How did you know about the back pain though?”
“You always complain about it, especially on the first day,” he replied nonchalantly, as if it was the most natural thing to know. 
“How did I get so lucky,” you mused, your tone playful but just as genuine. “Makes me feel even worse about ruining your sheets.”
“Literally don’t worry about it, you do too much of that anyway. I left them with Asmo, he knows how to get just about any stain out of stuff.” You tried not to think about the specifics of where that expertise came from, so you rolled your eyes at the very typical behaviour of the youngest to dump his work on his brothers. Then you stiffened. Work. Chores. You were on grocery shopping duty today. “What’s the matter now?”
“I have to go out soon and get everything we need for dinner,” you sighed. Maybe you could convince someone to trade it with an indoor chore for the week.
Before you could reach for your D.D.D, the arms around you held you a little closer to the demon you were snuggled up against, one of his legs draping over your thigh, careful not to put too much pressure on you as he tangled your legs with his.
“Well that’s too bad,” Belphie mumbled into your hair, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of your head. “Looks like Lucifer has to find someone else for the job. Because you’ll be busy all day.”
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𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐒
Periods had the annoying habit of showing up whenever they pleased, which mostly meant whenever it was most inconvenient for you. Being well aware of that fact didn’t mean you were any more prepared for it to happen, though. 
So, as you were running errands around RAD with Barbatos, it suddenly felt like your insides were squeezed together and wrung out like a washcloth, making you stagger and pause to steady yourself again. When your companion turned to ask if you were alright, you assured him everything was fine, hoping it was just one bad cramp that would ebb away soon.
But over the course of the next fifteen minutes, it progressively got worse and you had trouble focusing on the task at hand, shifting uncomfortably in your seat as you sorted through student council documents. As you reached for a new stack of files, gloved hands came to rest over yours, preventing you from picking up more work.
“You should not overexert yourself, dear,” a soft voice spoke close to your ear. On other occasions, you would have welcomed the way his hands smoothed down your shoulders when it was just the two of you for once, but you couldn’t think about anything but the pain you were experiencing. “Without meaning to offend, you’re looking rather unwell. Allow me to take you to the Demon Lord’s Castle.”
“What about work?” You mumbled but didn’t resist as he pulled you to your feet, steadying you with a hand between your shoulder blades. “And Diavolo?”
“Do not worry about that. There’s no rush to complete these files and the Young Master has given the explicit order for me to take care of you,” Barbatos smiled as he led you out of RAD, careful to avoid as much unwanted attention as possible. “An order I was all too happy to comply with, might I add.”
“So you knew,” you sighed with a smile, not actually too surprised at the revelation. “I did think it was suspicious to have you all to myself the entire day. Do I even have to ask how you knew?”
“Well, as you have come to learn, demons are far more perceptive to certain reactions of the body, hormonal changes included,” he explained matter of factly. “Aside from that, however, I have also made it a priority to learn the rhythm of your body to best care for you.”
“You track my cycle? Despite being so busy already?” You turn your head to look at him in surprise.
“Of course. Not only are you an honoured exchange student, you are also someone who is immensely important to me,” he said as he held the castle door open for you, his verdant gaze full of adoration. “Naturally, I aim to ease your strains and alleviate some of the burden you carry.”
“You really don’t have to—“
“But I want to.” Taking your hand in his, the fabric of his gloves soft against your skin, he brushed your knuckles with a featherlight kiss. “Please allow me to take care of you, my love.”
“I guess I can’t say no when you ask like that,” you laughed sheepishly. Your body seemingly agreed with you as it sent another wave of cramps to make your knees buckle. 
“You must be exhausted,” Barbatos said, no doubt picking up on your unease immediately. “Let me draw you a warm bath to ease some of your tension.”
Said, done. Soon thereafter, you were sinking into a tub that probably cost more than a normal person’s house, the water the absolute perfect temperature to relax your muscles. You also noted how there were no strong scents present, only the hint of something floral and calming, but not overwhelmingly so.
After some time of soaking in the bath and with your permission, Barbatos stepped back into the bathroom. First, he wrapped you in the fluffiest black towel, carefully patting your skin dry so as to not irritate it. Then, he applied a moisturising lotion, gently kneading out any knots in your legs and shoulders with his skilled fingers before helping you into a new set of clothes which felt light as feathers against your skin. 
He also showed you where to find any sort of hygiene product you might need and, to nobody’s surprise, somebody had stocked the guest bathroom you used whenever you came over with every possible product there was.
In your guest room, Barbatos guided you over to the sofa and lounge chairs underneath one of the high windows where a tea set was already waiting for you on the table in the middle. 
“I took the liberty to prepare some tea and a few pastries while you were bathing. This blend has soothing qualities and is known to help with cramping. Given your usual choice of tea, I also think the aroma will be to your taste,” the demon explained and, as always, you were stunned by his level of attention to detail. 
As he poured it, you noticed, however, that there was only one cup on the table and instead of getting one for himself, Barbatos went to fetch a hot water bottle. 
Wrapping it in a cloth he warned you to be careful not to burn yourself before announcing he’d start preparations for dinner, letting you know he’d be making your favourite. But before he could turn to leave, you caught his wrist, a surprised expression flitting over his face for just a second.
“If it’s not too much trouble,” you started, holding his gaze, “would you join me for tea? It’s been a while since we sat down together.”
At your request his face smoothed over into a fond smile, the hand in your grasp coming up to brush over your cheekbone. 
“I suppose dinner can wait a little longer,” he said, clearly as happy as you to spend time with you. “Then again, even if it couldn’t, I’d find it hard to leave you. Especially when your wish and mine are so closely intertwined.”
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soapoet · 8 months
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Your first time with them (18+)
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like & rb if it resonates ♡
01.
Shufflemancy: Bad seed by Beach weather
Your first time with your person is like the reward of a good hunt, the prey finally caught, and the chase coming to an end to make room for the feast. It may have been an extended game of knowing looks and eyes burning with desire across the room. It may have not been appropriate then, and for some this could mark the end of a right person wrong time scenario. Either one of you may have ended a relationship the other was anticipating, knowing their door would be the first to be knocked on once these prior entanglements had been cut loose and moved on from. There really seems to be no surprise here, as you were already intimate through longing stares. Those wandering eyes frequently looking to catch glimpses of prized skin you knew was inevitable for you to claim.
Time seems to be a scarce currency after this dreadful wait, so none is wasted. The push and pull dynamic that was there all along finally expresses itself physically, with almost aggressive passion, as though the two of you are getting back at each other for the wait. You both want everything all at once but try to pace yourselves to the best of your abilities, hard though it seems, considering you both want to sink your teeth into each other. Clothes, another irritating barrier it seems, come off on the way down halls and over thresholds, desire and desperation painting the bedroom walls long before you finally collapse into the sheets to claim and to be claimed.
You are both active participants, and this is not an act that happens to one at the hands of the other, but a dynamic escapade leaving you both breathless. Movement crafted in perfect synchronicity as though your bodies were meant to partake in this dance together all along. This could go on for quite a while as you're making up for lost time, and the need to merge with each other fully, to make two become one, becomes all-consuming, and the pleasure intoxicating like the finest, most exquisite wine. This is truly all those illicit daydreams becoming realised at last, hands and eyes and lips and tongues demanding to find and imprint upon everything you could not before, back when it was forbidden or impossible to make true due to unfortunate and frustrating circumstances. This release of anticipation, the thrist quenched at last, lends so much stamina and passion, the desire to continue on and on and on, to dive back into the linens when your breaths are caught time after time, to again and again chase down pleasure and lay claim to the hills and valleys of flesh you've yearned for.
02.
Shufflemancy: Dress by Taylor Swift
The chemistry was undeniable for quite a while, wasn't it? Though it was thinly veiled in confusion and many doubts and what ifs, the both of you could see it all along. Just how perfectly you could fit like puzzle pieces together in an intricate web of art. It seemed to be but a matter of time before the sparks would cause everything to catch on fire. You may have spent a bit of time in mutual pining, and worse yet, the both of you were well aware, though doubts clouded your judgement. Certain you were deluding yourself, reading much too far into it, there always had to be some rational explanation, and yet, each and every time you two would meet, those doubts and their noise were nowhere to be seen. The only music playing which you knew for certain were the feelings you held for the other, and how every glance and word and the language spoken by their physical body told you that it was true. That the feeling was mutual.
Something that stands out to me is that there is next to no physical contact prior to the first time with your person. You spend quite a bit of time in each other's presence, though somewhat sparce, few and far in between, and when you do the air in the room seems ablaze as your minds mingle when you speak. But physically? You may sit or stand close enough, but there is almost like a barrier between you, a yellow tape saying do not cross, invisible to all but the two of you who seem so aware of this ravine without a suspension bridge. Once contact is made it is done in earnest. Pressure previously held back now boiling over in an overwhelming mess. It may be that both of you struggle to find the balance between rough and gentle. A desperate explosion of need once the leash has been let go of and you two may finally lunge at each other, tugging and pulling at fabric and limbs to quickly tie yourselves into a double knot.
For some of you this can occur first inside an official building of sorts, or where this display of affection and desire appears improper or ill-advised. An office, a classroom, dormitory, studio, somebody else's home, or any place where there are people not too far and the chance of getting caught is high and your actions considered very risky. There will be a pause and an interruption to these advances, mostly due to your own sensibilities. Nervous smiles and quiet sorry's exchanged for the sudden charge and uncontrolled eruption of passion, and even quieter arrangements made to continue this journey in a better location at a better time. Even then, once truly given privacy and freedom to explore each other, few articles of clothing make it off your bodies as you embrace, because the need has by then grown immeasurable and requires immediate release, and may be rather rough around the edges, with desperation leaving behind many marks across flushed skin.
03.
Shufflemancy: I'm with you by Vance Joy
How delightful and sweet it can be, the intimacy between two who have journeyed through life together for long enough to truly know and trust each other. This connection feels quite pure and quaint, but giddy and bright like a fizzy drink. There is a firm and stable foundation which the two of you stand upon, always able to lean on one another, with so many secrets to share and jokes no other could understand whispered, or simply relayed in knowing looks. For some, this is a lifelong friend, a bond built upon over many years, and for others this is one of those friends who you meet seemingly once in a lifetime, wherein two weeks is all it takes to feel as though you have spent decades side by side.
So what then, when those delicate feelings begin to grow and bud and bloom? For a while you may both hide those petals, certain that though they are so soft and delicate, they would cut and tear that which you have built together. It slowly but surely grows past any veils you try to hide them behind, and the two of you both notice, yet dare not say. This line right between friendship and something more, such a scary one to cross, a terrifying leap of faith to take when the concern is that something so precious could shatter upon impact and forever change and make strangers out of dear friends and could-be-loves who could not.
One of you will finally blurt it out. It may be a little sudden, even awkward in its delivery, yet so endearing in its honesty. The dynamic between the two of you at last called out for what it is, and what it has become over the past weeks or months, or how it perhaps always was but neither dared to rock the boat in fear of ruin. And it is met with such relief. Intimacy may not even happen right away, just a gentle hand finding its match and lips brushing against the other. So cautiously exploring uncharted territory. Intimacy itself will feel a little silly too, like the many barriers, buckles and zippers and hooks and all suddenly appear so complicated and in need of instruction manuals. Many giggles are shared as you fumble through it together. Your first time is very sweet and romantic, a little bit of a mess as you stumble through this sudden shift of what you have now become, but happy accidents nevertheless, and one which feels like a sigh of relief and gentle bliss as you spill and blend together like watercolour on paper.
04.
Shufflemancy: Don't delete the kisses by Wolf Alice
Oh my dear, you may feel quite nervous about the mere thought of letting someone close to you like this. To bare it all before another, such a frighteningly vulnerable position to put yourself in. You could have avoided this for a long time, some of you even wonder if there perhaps was something wrong with you, faulty wiring, or worse yet, feeling altogether broken beyond repair. You may have quite a few concerns for a variety of reasons. For some of you it could be a haunting past or terrible past lovers, and for others, excruciating insecurity and inability to relax and let the currents take you away, much too preoccupied with worries about how you look and sound to be in the moment at ease in your own skin. For a few, all the aforementioned reasons mixed into one.
A huge amount of trust is required before your defences ease up and you agree to lower the drawbridge to your castle. Your person could be your first, or at the very least the first to make you feel safe and allowed to have a say in the script. This could ultimately be your idea, a concept entirely new to you, as you are the one to pursue an intimate touch and allow the other in. Regardless which role you fall into, you feel more in control and it is less intimidating when you know that the reins are in your hands, with a lover who is so careful and gentle with you and knows you so truly, wishing you no harm.
Your first time with this person very much serves as a mark in your timeline as a huge leap of faith and overcoming fear and insecurity. They make you feel beautiful and safe, like a priceless figurine of glass, an heirloom meant to be handled with great and gentle care, respect, and devotion. Everything is slow and steady, and very sensual. Very much a feast to all the senses which will be firing all your nerves and make you feel weak and leave you trembling. It is as though time stops to make a bubble for just the two of you, to have no need to rush, to make sure the both of you are alright and enjoy every featherlight touch and sweet caress. A lot of eye contact is made, in particular when you make it over the hill and find that love has a face and it is right in front of you, and you're held close with such tender care you may shed a few tears.
05.
Shufflemancy: Take me to church by Hozier
Very peculiar energy, slightly confusing, much like the connection itself. You or your person may at the time be experiencing a very tumultuous period in life. Something is cruelly weighing heavy on you and you're feeling worried and hopeless and lost, and seeking any sort of lifeline to hold on to. And that lifeline quickly turns out to be the other person, akin to a buoy away from the shores, something to cling to in crashing waves when your body tires and feels unable to stay afloat and much less swim back to land. For some, it is possible that this stress is sourced from this person specifically due to the state of your connection at the time.
Feelings have grown but the roses around your heart carry thorns, so though they are striking in their beauty, they threaten to wound you more and faster and deeper when you are around them and they make your poor heart flutter. For some of you, this time may not even be the first time, instead the first time it feels special, carrying a purpose beyond mere pleasure. This could be a casual thing, the reunion with an ex, a friends with benefits scenario, something which was never supposed to be more than what was bargained for or supposedly left in the past. Yet somewhere, at some point in time, lines were crossed but no renegotiations took place, and for a time, which may have felt agonisingly long, you were left suspended in the air amongst the clouds of uncertainty and doubt.
Things really come to a head, as suddenly both internal and external circumstances add up to far too much to bear, and you simply crumble to pieces before them and they are fortunately quick to catch you and attempt holding together those shattered pieces. A confession through sobs, not even in the safety of a cozy bedroom but possibly in a car, a stranger's home, a storage room, or someplace else that makes this revelation of the roses blooming feel that much more misplaced and unsafe. Yet it is met with such grace and the aching heart taken in a protective embrace and the thorns pushed aside. Though the circumstance feels strange and the timing poor, it happens. One pair of hands desperate and in need of closing the gap between you, nails breaking skin whilst drowning and gasping for air like you're truly going to sink. The other pair gently but firmly taking command of your body and keeping you sane and there in the present, afloat and safe and breathing heavily, pinning you down with the weight of a body you'll come to see akin to a blanket made for anxiety, as now this person truly sees you and hears you and cares for you so deeply you might cry from a bittersweet mix of the relief of a survivor and the joy of victory.
06.
Shufflemancy: Break my heart by Dua Lipa
Quite a thorough person, eh? In all that they do, your person is meticulous and strives for perfection. Intimacy is no exception. This person is likely to be more traditional, and wine and dine you for a while at first and really take their time because they look for the perfect mate, a life partner. They wish not to make mistakes and choose poorly, because it would create such an unnecessary mess of heartbreak and wasted time and effort. Though they seem a little on the chillier side, they are romantic and have a taste for finer indulgences. And thus, intimacy with you is certainly a planned event well in advance with everything just right as if the occasion is an offering to a deity worth worship.
The wait, the slower pace of the connection itself, may be to you as new, refreshing and welcome as it is frustrating. You could've experienced previous encounters which burnt quick and fast but also faded just as swiftly, so the careful and by-the-book attentive diligence of this person is so promising and makes you feel quite special. Yet you feel the ever-increasing desire growing almost painful at the very core of your being. Nearly frightened by the power which the other holds over you. The almost urgent need for friction, for the warmth of the flame, only held back by the certainty of knowing they'd only deny you and your rushed advances because they want to take their time to fit you into their life and create the perfect step by step choreography to your romance.
Until finally, dimly lit rooms with cascading golden hues reflecting off of silks, soft tunes from the other room where a pair of empty glasses stand, as you fall into soft sheets and dainty petals. There, at last, devoured whole, consumed by desire and claimed by what you've yearned for so earnestly for so long you could've sworn you were going mad. Release, the green light to finally leap off the edge and let yourself be at the mercy of freefall. This person is observant, and determined to learn of every freckle, every nook, and send shivers skipping across your skin wherever they go on their quest to map you out like a tireless explorer on an adventure and in search of treasure. They communicate so clearly and seem so intuitive, as though they have a degree in your body language and are going for a doctorate through trial an error, and finding just the right pace and pressure to send you to the skies above to unite with the stars.
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divinesangel · 1 month
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— 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞?
pm me for an affordable, in-depth personal or soulmate reading! ko-fi.com/solreads
— 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞!
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— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏
it's very likely for you to meet this person in a place where people are very outgoing, have a lot of passion, and they are always on the go. it could be a bustling city with a touch of a mystique energy, or a place where maybe religion or sacred places are prominent. i'm getting vibes of a vibrant café in a corner where you're able to feel and smell the aroma of freshly brewed coffee along with people's conversations and day-to-day life. everyone's on their own reality and each lost in their own world. however, amidst the crowd and these people, you catch a glimpse of someone who stands out, a figure exuding confidence and charm, also with a hint of determination and confidence. this is someone that from the very beginning you will notice that it embodies the energy of someone adventurous, daring, or someone with a fiery passion or energy that ignites curiosity within you. there is going to be an exchange of glances, almost as if it is an instant recognition, like an instant acknowledgement of a connection that transcends words. their vibe or energy is going to be quite enigmatic and there's a level of depth in them that will draw you in. you both will feel this magnetic pull and as you approach each other or by the moment one of you decides to do something, you will soon find yourself engaged in a conversation that flows effortlessly and where you both will feel the gentle butterflies. one of the things that you'll be noticing is how kind and compassionate this person is and how romantic they can be sometimes. it's the type of behaviour that will speak to your soul and make you feel a certain way, a way you haven't felt before. there is a sense of innocence and sincerity in this person that adds a spark of curiosity from them when it comes to you. together, you'll find yourselves immersed in a very lively exchange, sharing stories, dreams, and aspirations. it will be at this moment that you will realize that you've stumbled upon something truly unique and magical.
— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐
you'll meet your soulmate in a place where the sun shines brightly and the sunlight pours in through wide windows, filling several rooms of the street with a warm, inviting glow. it's going to be a place where people go out to enjoy themselves, and during this day, a lot of people are going to be outside enjoying the weather and the warmth that it brings. everyone is going to be soaking up the sunshine and enjoying the simple pleasures of life. when it comes to you, i feel like that as you go about your day, you'll find yourself at a crossroads. this could be a part of your life where you could be facing a decision that weighs heavily on your mind. it could be a choice about your career, your relationships, or your personal goals. it's like you will feel torn between different options, unsure of which path to take, and anxious about the consequences of your decision and wondering if you're on the right path. this turmoil may make you experience sleepless nights, tossing and turning as worries and fears swirl in your mind. the nights seem to amplify your concerns, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. and i feel like during this day that you will meet your soulmate, you will make the decision to go out and try to enjoy yourself more, instead of always being at home overthinking things. because despite the uncertainty and anxiety, you'll have the resilience and you'll be brave enough to throw yourself into your work and yourself with a lot of focus on determination. these uncertainties and anxieties might also have to do with past heartaches or disappointments. there's like a lingering fear of getting hurt again or a fear of opening up and being vulnerable. all stemming from the past. you'll be devoting yourself to your pursuits and trying to be more productive, with the aim of not thinking too much about the future. then, when you least expect it, this person will walk into your life. i feel like it's very likely for you to meet this person while they're working somewhere or they're helping someone with something. there's a sense of working on something that i'm picking up, and it's something that you will admire about this person. i feel like at first, you will admire them from afar, and i don't see you taking any steps towards this person, but i feel like there is going to be maybe a friend of yours that will introduce you to them, or perhaps there could be someone around you that knows this person that could introduce you to them.
— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑
you will meet your soulmate in a place where there's a lot of people. it could be a very bustling urban setting where people seek to thrive and they are always busy. it's a very busy environment and i feel like when it comes to the place where you will meet them, it could be at a working event, a conference, or even a lively co-working space. there is a lot of energy filled with people hustling to achieve their goals and a lot of conversations on future plans. there is a legal sense to this, so it could be that this person might be someone in a higher position than you, or someone with a respectable job. in this connection, i feel like there could be a lot of ups and downs because at first the connection might not flow that very well and you could feel like there could be some tension and it's very likely that you won't really know whether this person likes you or not because of their cold behavior or an expressive self. at first, you could feel that there's not really much to do with this person or like maybe nothing else is going to be happening, but that's something that changes quite soon. it sort of feels like an enemies to lovers type of thing. as you get to know each other, you'll discover that they share your values and aspirations, they're very driven, ambitious, and determined to succeed, and you will find yourself in them. i feel like at the time you may not notice this part of you, but once you get to know them more, you'll figure out and discover that you're actually quite ambitious and determined as well. besides that, i feel like you'll find yourself discussing big ideas, making plans for the future, and supporting each other's dreams. you'll be able to navigate the ups and downs of life as a team, finding strength in each other's company, and of course you'll also share laughter, challenges, and moments of quiet understanding as your relationship deepens and evolves. eventually, you'll realize that this person is the one you've been searching for, and it's going to be quite funny for the both of you to look back and analyze how everything went down. from feeling tense around each other and not really knowing what to talk about or do around each other, to being together in a very loving and healthy connection.
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𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 !
hi! it's daphne here.
i'm currently offering personal readings for €5 and soulmate readings for €10 so don't hesitate to send me a private message if you're interested!
thank you for being here!
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lonely-lost-soul · 8 months
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Day 2: Tengen and Rengoku
Day 2: Threesome
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Tengen licked his lips, staring intently at the young lady in the entertainment district's kiosk before him. By his side was his most trusted friend, Rengoku, who seemed to be intently staring at the same woman, the way her hips moved as she walked, her shyness evident as the lady of the house seemed to fix up her hair. Almost scolding her as if she wasn't presentable enough as a lady. Uzui thought the hag couldn't be more wrong, “Are you positive your wives won’t mind that we are here?” The man asked, adjusting his leg slowly, one of his permanent injuries from the battle of Akaza. In his own opinion, he was much better off than Tengen; his friend had lost one of his eyes. But both men were forced into an early retirement from the Demon Slayers due to their injuries. Tengen only laughed, turning to face the man, 
“I already told them I’m scoping out another wife, either for me or you." He winked, causing Kyojuro to laugh from his chest, "The main thing they’re not happy about is me returning to this district.” Tengen snorted, hair falling prettily in front of his face, and Rengoku looked at him with a smile, 
“If it’s alright with them, then it’s alright with me! So long as everyone is treated with proper respect!” He shouted, pounding a fist to the palm of his hand before reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind Tengen’s ear like a good friend would. Tengen snorted, wrapping an arm around his companion, 
“If you were a girl. You’d be my fourth wife without a doubt.” Rengokou beamed with pride, 
“I’d be honored! And accept without hesitation!”
“Flashy!” 
“Excuse me, the lady of the house said you requested me,” Your soft voice spoke, causing them both to turn to look at you. You were even prettier up close than you were from afar, hair elegantly styled, red and gold kimono covering you just as elegantly, makeup placed flawlessly on your cheeks and eyes, “I’m at your service.”
Tengen hummed, better with words than Kyojuro, “Please sit and enjoy a cup of sake with us for now. We paid for the night, relax.” Rengoku shot Tengen a questioning look, knowing they’d spent a lot of money on you. They'd free you from this wretched district if all went well tonight. You looked slightly surprised at the offer and moved to sit down, “Pretty thing, not there in between us.” Rengoku saw your cheeks burn as you sat beside the two men; Tengen leaned back with a grin, bringing sake to his lips, “What’s your name?” 
You told them your first name, fluttering your pretty eyelashes at the both of them. “I’m Rengoku Kyojuro; if we are going by first names, feel free to call me Kyojuro!” He chipped, grinning fondly at the woman, “This is Uzui.” The silver-haired man winked, “We’re here to make love to you!”
“H-huh?” You sputtered, and Tengen spat out his drink, choking on it, “I-I mean…” You smile shyly, “That’s quite the demand.” 
“Kyo-” Tengen hissed, pressing his fingers to his nose, “Do you even know subtly? So unflashy?”
“No!” He hummed proudly, “The best way to communicate your point is directly and honestly! This also gives our little spark room to decline if she needed to.” Tengen couldn’t deny that point; they weren’t monsters. After all, you’d always have a choice. “Will you spend the night with us?” 
You eyed the two men before you; they were former demon slayers. Even in casual clothes, word spread about the silver-haired man who solely saved this district from two demons and the man with hair of fire who saved all the innocents on the Mugen Train. Honestly, you couldn’t say no to them, not that you wanted to; these men were probably the two most attractive men you’ve ever encountered. “Yes,” you nodded, “it would be my pleasure.” 
“Not your pleasure, little one,” Tengen hummed, kissing your hand softly, “It’s truly our pleasure to be accepted by a beauty such as you.” He delighted in how your face turned a beautiful color as you were flustered. “Come, let's go somewhere a little more private,” He purred, helping you to your feet before turning to his friend and helping him stumble. 
“Ah, my apologies.” Rengoku smiled nervously, “My legs aren’t what they used to be, I'm afraid. But I assure you my performance regarding intimacy is not hindered.” 
“Kyojuro.” Uzui groaned, “She did not need to know that. I’m sure she wasn’t questioning your sexual prowess.” Both men stopped as you giggled, opening the door to the private room, the kimono falling off your shoulders seductively. Exposing your shoulder blades and the swell of your breasts, Tengen shut up almost immediately, eyes training down your body. 
“Beautiful!” Kyojuro praised, hobbling into the room, hands finding your waist, and you helped to balance him as he stumbled into you. “You’re beautiful!” His eyes burned like fire; staring into your own, he captured your lips in a quick kiss, and your cheeks flushed. 
“I’m sure you could find prettier girls here, but thank you-” You squeaked, feeling the other man’s arms wrapped around your waist from behind. His hair tickled your cheeks as his chin rested on your head, 
“Is that self-depreciation I hear?” Uzui mused from behind you, his hands slowly moving up to slide up to cup your breasts tenderly, “because you’re the only one here who caught our eye.” His large hands palmed your breasts, massaging them and causing you to lean against his body. “This is perfect, you are perfect, right Kyo?” 
“Absolutely!” Kyojiro hummed as Tengen slid your kimono down, exposing yourself to the men before you. The room's cold air made your nipples perk up as Kyojiro buried his face between them; his warm lips against your skin made you shiver. “I never wanna leave,” He purred, squishing his head between your chest and pressing kitten kisses to the sensitive area, causing you to mewl. 
“Look at you. Enjoying yourself?” Tengen snickered as you looked up at him through wet lashes, 
“Y-yes-” You breathed, stretching your neck up, “kiss me?” 
“You don’t need to ask twice.” Uzui leaned down to capture your lips with his own, and his lips were skilled as his tongue slipped inside your mouth. You groaned against him as your tongues battled for dominance; yours was easily overpowered. Your fingers tangled themselves in Rengoku’s hair, and the embodiment of sunshine purred, biting the skin on your breasts. You moaned hotly as he trailed marks across your chest, allowing your kimono to open fully as he continued his way downward toward your core. You pulled away from Tengen’s lips to choke out a moan, feeling Rengoku’s tongue prod at your entrance. He hissed a little, trying to settle on his bad knee, and Tengen clicked his tongue, “Don’t hurt yourself.” 
“I’m not; this is worth it.” Kyo grinned and attacked your center like a man starved; you tossed your head back and moaned with delight. Uzui had to catch you as your legs melted against Rengoku’s mouth and tongue. 
“He has no self-preservation truly,” Tengen mused, watching you squeeze your legs around his comrade's head, which only egged him further, his fingers coming up to massage your clit. “You’re just that intoxicating, lovely,” His mouth latched itself onto your neck, nipping and kissing at the sensitive spots there, which only fueled your moans louder. Kyojiro pulled away, lips glistening with your arousal, 
“Umai!” You giggle, hands gently threading through his flame-colored hair, “Uzui!’ He shouted, “She’s close may I make her cum on my tongue?” 
“Don’t ask me; ask the lady you’re eating out.” Kyo looked at you with the most enormous puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen, 
“Yes. Please let me cum, Kyo.” Kyojiro grinned before looking at Tengen, who rolled his eyes. He knew what that look meant. You won’t be able to continue after Rengoku had his way with you, but it was fine you were coming back with them after all; you can cum on his cock another time. With a nod from Uzui, he dove back in between your legs; you moaned hotly as you felt his fingers begin to pump in and out of your pussy working in tandem with his tongue. You felt warm pressure as you yelped a little, standing up straighter, riding Kyojiro’s mouth. His fingers started heating up inside you, and your legs trembled in ecstasy. 
“That’s what he does,” Tenegn purred, “use his breathing technique to last a while, heating his fingers for maximum pleasure.” Uzui continued to play with your breasts, pinching your nipples between his fingers and enjoying the loud sounds you made against his shoulder. “You feel it, don’t you? His tongue works wonders inside your throbbing pussy, the heat as you clench on Kyo’s face.” You could only nod as Rengoku’s fingers found the spongy spot inside you and began to pound into it repeatedly with his fingers. Wet sounds of pleasure filled the room as you shuddered, coming around the man’s face with a cry, suffocating the man between your thighs. This time when Rengoku pulled away, he looked horny and dizzy, with a red face, 
“Holy. Shit.” a shit-eating grin spread across his lips, “You almost killed me between your thighs. What a way that would’ve been, aye Uzui?”
“Lucky bastard.” Tengen scoffed as you lay limp against his muscular body, shuddering in the aftershocks of your orgasm. “Let’s rest now, little one; we can continue in the morning.”
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ellecdc · 1 month
Note
Hiii :) I saw your requests tips and saw that you didn't write for dub/non con and I don't know if this count as one so just feel free to not respond!
So reader is in a relationship with the Marauders and is starting to randomly think about a past SA and realise this was SA only now bc her brain has been blocking the memory and information. She tells the boys (and maybe Barty idk) about it after sometime of overthinking it and self blaming so it's just like super fluff at the end <3
(it's my personal experience but if you don't feel comfortable writing about it just feel free to ignore it :). Sorry for the bad orthograph english isn't my first language 🫶🏻)
first of all - your English is fucking fantastic (and you know more words than I do - I had to look up what an orthograph was) secondly, I turned this into more of a conversation between reader and her ship. and for plot purposes this became poly!wolfstar - hope that's okay!
poly!wolfstar x fem!reader who opens up about past SA
CW: discusses themes of sexual consent, inebriation, and SA. Describes past SA and abusive relationships. Describes drunkeness, alcohol, and drinking. viewer discretion is advised.
You could tell it was taking Sirius a lot of effort to appear to be too fussed over Lily, James, and Regulus at the end of the party, but he pretended to gag every time anything even remotely romantic or sexual was brought up about his brother.
“What do you think happens when they go home, Pads?” Remus muttered quietly, causing Sirius to slap his hands against his ears.
“Would you shut up, Moons? I am not interested in hearing about my brother’s sexual habits, thank you.”
Unfortunately for Sirius, Lily didn’t get the memo. 
“Are we le-leaving!?” She shrieked through a hiccup as James held most of her weight up against his side and Regulus gathered her purse and shoes she’d since lost.
“Yes sweets; we’re gonna get you to bed.” James said quietly.
A salacious smirk took over Lily’s face as she tried (and failed) to grab James by the chin. “To bed, hm?”
Regulus snorted, though no one missed the blush that dusted his cheeks. “To sleep, Lils.”
Lily groaned dramatically and seemed to go ‘no bones’ in James' grip as he grunted and tried to keep her from hitting the ground. “Why not.”
“Because you smell like you bathed in a bottle of schnapps, sweetheart.” James placated.
“So?” Lily grumbled though acquiesced to helping James keep her up right. “We can even do that thing you like.” She tried to sing sensually, but her efforts were in vain as every other word came out slurred. 
Sirius grumbled causing James to blush. 
“Not tonight, angel. We’ll cuddle, okay?”
Lily scoffed and turned her sights onto Regulus. “You agree with me, right? Right Reggie? You agree- you agree with me?”
“Almost always.” Regulus agreed quickly, offering Lily his arm as to share her weight with James. “Just not tonight, my love.”
“You guys are no fun.” Lily whined as she allowed her two boyfriends to usher her out of Remus and Sirius’ shared flat.
Unfortunately for Sirius, no one missed Regulus leaning into Lily’s hair and promising that “they’d have lots of fun tomorrow to make up for it.”
“I hate them all.” Sirius grumbled with no real malice as he stood and made his way over to you before offering you both of his hands. “What do you say, dollface? Ready for bed too?”
Remus answered ‘yes’ as you accepted Sirius’ help up which sparked a debate between the two of them whether or not Remus could be considered ‘dollface’ to which you secretly agreed that yes he could but ultimately refused to participate in such nonsense.
You got ready for bed in a haze as you replayed Regulus, James, and Lily’s conversation in your head. You weren’t sure what exactly you were so stuck on, but something about the exchange caused something deep within your gut to churn unpleasantly. 
“You feeling alright, dovey?” Remus asked gently, pressing a kiss to your hairline as you reentered their bedroom after washing your face, carrying your toiletries with you so as not to hog the bathroom.
Sirius (and Remus) had been begging you to spend your nights here with them nearly since the very beginning of your relationship, but you argued that you did not want to pay rent for a flat you never saw. 
He then started nagging you to give up the lease on your flat and just “sodding move in with them already”, but it still felt a little too fresh for that.
So, you spent most nights (but not all) at their flat; living out of duffle bags and toiletry bags.
You hummed in confirmation to Remus’ question, moving towards the mirror above Sirius’ dresser to finish your skincare routine as Remus took his turn with the washroom.
“You sure, sweetness? You’ve been awfully quiet tonight; did you have fun?” Sirius continued as he went digging through what you knew to be Remus’ drawers searching for Sirius’ favourite shirt which was really Remus’ shirt but no one bothered to argue with the black-haired boy…anymore.
“I had fun.” You agreed, massaging product into your face.
“Uh huh.” Sirius commented, not sounding at all convinced as he came up behind you and hooked his chin over your shoulder; watching as you completed your nightly routine through the mirror. “You had so much fun and that’s why you look like Moony when he can’t figure out one of those crosswords in the Daily Prophet?”
You chuckled softly, but something in your lack of enthusiasm (or your lack of disdain) for his joke seemed to tip him off. 
“What’s going on in here, hm?” He asked as he pressed a kiss to your temple. 
“I just…” You started, sighing as you made yourself busy by tidying up your belongings and refusing to make eye contact with him. “I’ve just been thinking about Reg, James, and Lily’s conversation.”
That caused a dramatic groan to rip through Sirius’ chest as he leaned his forehead against your shoulder.
“What now?” Remus asked jokingly as he returned from the washroom. 
“She’s thinking about Regulus, James, and Lily in bed.” Sirius accused; voice muffled in the fabric of your sleepwear. 
You scoffed defensively, claiming you were “absolutely not” at the same time Remus commented “aren’t we all” which started a very loud bickering match between your two boyfriends. 
The arguing only ceased when Remus “swore on his mother’s life” that Sirius was “by far the superior Black brother.” 
Placated, Sirius turned his sights back to you as you sat on the edge of the bed. “So, what were you really thinking about their conversation?”
Remus, having walked in with only enough time to rile Sirius up, popped his head up at that. “Everything alright, dove?”
You sighed as you turned to face them. “I was just confused, I guess.” You admitted. “I think…Lily was hoping to have sex tonight?”
Sirius groaned again which earned him a swat from Remus who seemed to pick up on some of the tension radiating through your body.
“Yes…I’d agree.” Remus responded carefully.
“And Reg and James said no?”
Sirius’ head tilted at that as he considered you with furrowed brows. “Well, of course, doll. She was drunk.” He said simply, as if that explained it all. 
“So…they wouldn’t have sex with her because she was drunk?” You clarified.
The boys shared a glance with one another before they each took a seat on the bed, prompting you to turn your body so you were all facing each other.
“So, all parties have to be able to consent, right?” Remus started. 
You nodded quickly at that. 
“But when one party is inebriated or under the influence, they can’t consent.” Sirius continued.
You felt your eyebrows twitch as you looked down at the pattern on your bed spread. “Even though she was asking?”
“She wasn’t in her right mind, dove.” Remus explained gently; eyes full of compassion and, perhaps, some sadness. “She may have woken up tomorrow and not remembered anything, or perhaps worse, regretted something. It’s Regulus and James’ jobs to keep her safe, just like I’m sure she keeps them safe when the roles are reversed.”
And now you could understand why their conversation seemed to catch you so off guard. 
“You’re so pretty like this; drunk and all mine.”
“Have a few more; we always have more fun when you let loose.”
“But…I’m really tired.” “All you’ve got to do is lay there - I’ll do all the work.”
“You don’t remember last night? That’s too bad; I won’t be forgetting that any time soon.”
“You’re such a good little whore for me when you’ve had a few too many.” 
You hadn’t realised you had zoned out of the conversation until Sirius was leaning into your field of vision. “You okay, sweets?”
“Yeah.” You said breathlessly before clearing your throat. “No, sorry. I’m fine.”
“Why were you asking?” Remus queried; tone hardening slightly, alerting you to the fact that he smelled trouble. 
“I was just wondering.” You fibbed.
“You know we would do the same, right?” Sirius asked earnestly. “That we have done the same for you.”
“You have?”
“Yes, my love.” Remus whispered. “Always.”
You nodded and looked back down at the bedspread. “Okay.”
“Y/N.” Sirius called with a certain level of severity; though you detected no anger or frustration in his tone. “Why were you asking?” He repeated Remus’ earlier question after your gaze met his imploring silver eyes. 
You quickly looked down at your hands as you began picking at the hangnails around your fingers. “I was just confused; that has not always been my experience.” You admitted quietly; shame coursing through your body as you digested this new information.
The room was quiet for a moment as Remus shuffled scrupulously closer to you. “No?” He whispered; voice intoned with a level of gentleness you weren’t accustomed to hearing. 
You began to feel all sorts of discomfort at the heavy attention being focused on you in the room. “It was usually quite the opposite.” You joked; voice rising to a higher octave in an attempt to make light of the situation as you pulled back the covers and made to retreat to the relative safety of the boys’ bed. 
“Whoa, whoa. What does that mean?” Sirius implored, earning him a gentle warning “Pads�� from Remus.
“I’m sorry.” You placated, still uncomfortable with this heavy atmosphere you seem to have blanketed over what had been a really nice evening. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, I-” Sirius began, cutting himself off and taking a breath you could tell was an attempt to calm himself down. He shuffled closer to you and wrapped his hand around one of your ankles through the blanket as he rubbed soothing circles against it. “You can always talk about anything with us; it’s important that we talk about these things, yeah?”
“Only if you’re comfortable, of course.” Remus mollified. “But I do agree with Sirius; if you’re comfortable, I think it’s good for us to talk about these things.” 
“It was just my last relationship.” You admitted finally. “He didn’t…agree - with the consent thing, that is.”
Remus’ lips pursed as Sirius’ jaw tightened. 
“He’d sleep with you when you were drunk?” Remus asked cautiously. 
“Yeah.” You agreed half-heartedly, picking at your nail beds. “Or encourage me to drink more so…”
Remus let out a sigh and you could tell Sirius was fighting back the urge to grumble. 
“I’m sorry,” You offered again. “I really didn’t mean to bring all this up, I just-”
“I really, really don’t want you to apologise anymore.” Sirius nearly begged. 
“I don’t understand how someone could do that.” Remus mused aloud. “To anyone; and someone they claimed to love?”
You mistook Remus’ rhetorical question for an actual need for clarification. “He said I was more fun; that I’d try things I wouldn’t normally.”
Sirius did finally let out an angry huff and his fingers stilled on your ankle. “Who?”
“You don’t know him.” You countered quickly, bringing your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them as you rested your chin on your knees. 
“Lucky him.” Sirius muttered darkly as Remus shifted closer to you. 
“I’m sorry dove.” He offered quietly; holding out his hand to you in a silent invitation. You accepted it, and as you gave him your hand, he gently encouraged you over to him until you were cradled in his arms.
“I didn’t tell you to be sorry.” You murmured quietly as Remus began pressing kisses to the raw and reddened skin around your fingers you hadn’t realised you had nearly shredded in your tension. 
“I know you didn’t.” He whispered. “I’m still sorry, anyhow.”
“I think it’s nice… that the boys were looking after Lily.”
Remus hummed in agreement though he still looked particularly disturbed.  
“That’s their job.” Sirius supplied, causing you and Remus to turn your heads towards your boyfriend whose eyes were red and shining with unshed tears.
“Sirius.” You murmured miserably.
“Just like it’s our job to look after you.” He continued as if you hadn’t said anything at all.
“And you do.” You agreed.
Sirius huffed and wiped at his face. “I hate to think of you being hurt or…or taken advantage of when I wasn’t there to help you.”
Remus made a pitiful sound at that. 
“You didn’t even know me then, Siri.” You offered, half teasing and half placating. 
“She’s alright, Sirius.” Remus comforted. “She’s got us. You’ll be okay now, yeah?”
And you thought of your boys now; you thought of Sirius near tears thinking of someone taking advantage of you during a time you hadn’t even known him, you thought of Remus currently cradling you like you were a precious thing he feared losing if he didn’t hold you with the utmost care, and you thought of their friends - the kind of people who they surrounded themselves with and had the same morals as they did.
Yeah…you think you might just be okay now.
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getodrools · 2 months
Note
What about sucking getos dick with Gojo instead😏
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Suguru’s cock is hard. Scratch that, he's swollen—practically throbbing an inch bigger than usual from the rush coursing through him… Poor boy, he gets so overwhelmed when both of his lovers attend to him; hair falling loosely from its knot, face flushed out into a sickening pink with features either wide or squeezed tight, even his hands went pale and clammy – feeling how sweaty he's got as Getō tries to help your hips roll in tenderly mushes against his base…
He was aching the way the plush of your thighs squished around his thick and throbbing length of cockmeat. Smothering slippery folds back and forth — perk ass even bumping into the point of Gojo’s nose when you'd bottom out.
Gojo sat prettily on his knees beneath while you worked along Getō’s nth-inch bitch breaker. He was sitting almost politely too—stroking up your thighs with feathery touches, even squeezing your doughy globes to sandwich the tall man's cock… Bending the squishy flesh in and politely waiting to slob up the rest that pokes out when Suguru pushed through the sweet heat between your legs.
Satoru would swallow up that chance just to spit out more bubbly froth, making the slop all the more messy. Pussy already glistening in muck, now shimmering with your blue-eyed boyfriend's spit too. Some oozing pre-caught in the sap as well, catching it at the crown with a sensitive nub.
Gurgling at his tip and tasting nectar-like pussy sap mixed with his mess, Gojo’s nose was breathing down your ass to pop his best friend into his mouth… Not minding it one bit – everyone seemed to have gained attention – feeling Gojo huck out a wad of spit to help you grind along with more force.
Freshly warm juices mixed at your folds all while Gojo kept suckling the capped tip prodding out, up until Getō drew strong hips back again – craving more of your puffy folds to hotdog his length; leaving Gojo’s mouth open, watering with a dripping ‘o’ juncturing in fevor.
Spit adhering your perk hole dollops against Gojo’s tongue, slathering it like a cycle. A rinse and repeat. Again and again.
“Feel… s-so good baby…” Getō was panting, lost in the wet feel of two of his lovers praising his monumental cock…
You shiver against Getō. Clasping hands and hooking them over his shoulders to squeeze at the broad muscle to rub your clit and puffy mounds against throbbing veins. Rubbing like it was a bonfire ready to spark – a sort of haste, eager to make him grope at the nine clouds, just as much as Gojo wished for too.
“So… so close… I’m—fuck—almost there...” That pretty little moan you all loved dribbled out between his glossy lips.
That was your cue!
Wrecked in the way you gave the man in robes one more hot suctioning kiss before slipping down and quickly landing beside Gojo.
Of course, the blue-eyed man gave your bottom a good pat, welcoming you on the floor beside him with a sloppy kiss, “Look how messy you are.” Gojo’s tongue poked at yours, teasing the way you left a shiny trail of slime to drip along Getō.
It's about to get a whole lot messier…
You went to tease Gojo back, but he craved how it slathered well against his buds. Admiring how he lapped up the very mess you left – a thirsty soul he seemed as Gojo plugged up his mouth with what leaked in front of him.
Humming, you handle those tightening orbs swelling up too; groping at what was ready to just pop… Squeezing and tugging, even rubbing at Gojo’s throat to feel that lump intruding, you couldn't help but kiss hungrily at what Gojo couldn't fit.
Pressing with vigor at the midsection of Suguru’s shaft; breath puffing out against it in hot washes, and pretty, ridden face nuzzling in to kiss along the towering length. You lugged around at a breathless pace – skating over the saliva matting at the underside of the meaty pole in a bliss of pure devotion…
Suguru winces, but the teeth prying at his bottom lip plumps them out into a cute pucker, “C…C-cummiing…!” Suguru cries out with a heavy cock spasming against smooth fingers, fleshy mouths, and soft lips.
The long, thick cock – a slab of well-endowed cockmeat jutted. Kissing close to Satoru’s working mouth, the iron-hard girth throbbed and finally popped.
Expecting Satoru to swallow him up, a sudden palm planting at the back of your head worked quick to replace Gojo’s hot mouth. And Gojo giggles at the gag he forces your throat with to catch the first ropes of seed, though they flung through the empty air in white arcs and splattered across your face before your jaw could unhinge fast enough… The sticky mess soon splattered at the back of your throat; stringing over wet muscles in parabolas of white.
Gojo chuckles out one of those teasing chortles you'd usually hiss at, but mouth full to the hilt, all you could do was swallow up what was pouring down your weak maw…
Getō’s cock continued to throb, so was Gojo’s, laboriously at this point… All too lewd and too hot, he was marveling the meaty length swelling with each shot Suguru fired – all drawing it out with eager ministrations.
Hollowing your cheeks and slumping shoulders, you were at ease at the taste of Suguru.
Likewise, so was Gojo. He flicked out his tongue to shovel up the thick liquid draped heavily over your nose and cheeks. A mess staining the flushed skin white, almost obscuring you under its thickness. But Satoru cleaned you right up, a hungry dog soaking the slop—as thick as paint—and ran it over into his mouth.
This sight was heavenly.
Suguru’s chin tucked in, “Good job, my pretties… Now kiss, make sure to share...” Suguru slips out your mouth with a wet pop; emptied balls and thick baby batter plastered at fleshy barriers and skin made him twitch.
“Good… good…” Watching how you both twist tongues in his command, Getō was in awe!
Gaped in pure bliss at the mixing of hot cum and spit ‘till it went frothy like icing when you'd pull apart… Stings clung to your teeth every time you and Gojo opened your mouths for another slippery clash.
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feyascorner · 3 months
Text
at the end of the day
summary. you and astarion have your first genuine fight and the other companions try to patch things between the two of you.
warnings. comfort/fluff
pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader
a/n. have not written an actual one-shot in a while omg,...
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Breakfast is eaten in silence. One that's been extending far past its welcome date now.
Shadowheart grips her fork, feeling the flitting glances exchanged amongst the others around the table while she maintains focus on the two individuals sitting on opposite sides of the table. Your eyes remain trained on the bread sitting on your plate and Astarion swirls his chalice aimlessly in his hand, neither of you even acknowledging the presence of the other. The cleric grimaces as you stand suddenly, your chair scraping against the floor as you do so.
"Thanks for the food, Gale," is all you mutter before leaving the room with your plate in hand. Astarion rises from his own chair in an instant, huffing.
"I must take my leave as well."
When both parties have left the room, all five other companions stare at one another in a knowing silence. Lae'zel is the only one who doesn't seem the slightest bothered. Wyll is the one to break the uncomfortable tension in the air, clearing his throat after Lae'zel nearly bites her fork off. "I see they're still amidst their lovers' quarrel."
"What are they even fighting about?" Karlach groans, slumping into her chair with an exasperated groan.
"It was nice the first few days to have a good night's sleep without their incessant noises," Shadowheart grumbles, shoving an egg into her mouth. "But now, this is arguable worse."
"Should we...aid them somehow?" Gale blinks.
Lae'zel snorts. "They're adults, we don't need to coddle them, wizard."
Despite her words, they do find themselves a few hours later in unanimous agreement to do something to ease the unfamiliar dryness of the camp dynamic. It comes in multiple attempts. And to say few---if not all--were unsuccessful, is an understatement.
First, when out in the woods, Gale makes an effort to spark a conversation that would prompt both you and Astarion to join in. You nod occasionally, though lost in thought, while Astarion promptly ignores whatever he's talking about. It's a pathetic attempt that has nobody but himself babbling away, which earns a grunt from Shadowheart. It's enough to shut him up, thankfully.
Second, Karlach uses her uncanny ability to lift someone's spirits. Jokes, dancing, all that jazz. Even booze. She urges you to let loose, but all you do in response is smile at her apologetically while Astarion just glares off into space. Another failed attempt. Lae'zel pats Karlach on the shoulder.
Wyll tells stories of his monster hunting days which you usually take an interest in. Astarion naturally listens to what a monster hunter does when he's not hunting monsters, but that's all it is. You and Astarion only listen. There are quips and lingering questions, but neither of you ever direct it at one another, or bother to add into the conversation either. The sheer amount of teasing questions has Wyll's head spinning by the end of it. Lae'zel rolls her eyes.
Just when things couldn't possibly get any worse, you're ambushed. It's a small horde of goblins---nothing beyond your capabilities, but your companions do take some small scratches here and there. Somehow, though he rarely does, as he prefers staying behind you or Karlach, Astarion does too. And despite his efforts to hide it behind his back, you also didn't miss the cut lining Astarion's arm to his elbow. It's not deep by any means, and if it were your own injury, you'd likely just brush it off.
But it's on his skin, and he'd gotten it when taking a hit from an arrow that should've cut your arm.
Blasted hells, you think, as he shrugs it off. Even when you can clearly see him clenching his jaw to bite away the pain.
If battle won't be the end of you, you're sure your idiot of a boyfriend might be instead.
"Come here, you fool," you mutter, holding out your hand. He doesn't even consider the fact that you're mad at one another and immediately extends his arm to you. Habits, you suppose.
You mumble out a weak scolding as he watches you wrap the wound through his lashes. He shivers as you lather a cool ointment on the cut, hoping it's enough to soothe the pain before Shadowheart's recovered enough to properly heal him. He lifts a pale hand to your face, and for a moment, you think he might pinch you. Instead, he runs a thumb across your cheek, spreading the ointment on a scratch you hadn't even realized was there in the first place.
You meet his eyes, your own softening as he cups his fingertips around your cheek. The way he looks at you is overwhelming sometimes---like you're the only thing he gives a damn about in this world---but it's a welcome feeling when he hasn't even looked you in the eye this way in days now. For a moment, you realize you don't even remember why the two of you were mad at one another in the first place.
A laugh threatens to escape your throat. How childish, truly.
And then he flicks your forehead, unable to help the grin etching onto his lips when you blink in surprise.
"That was for making me sleep by myself for three nights."
You swat at his arm while he dodges each of your lazy attempts to get back at him. And though the two of you continue bickering, unbeknownst to you, you have an audience a good bit away, watching you return to your old ways after making them worry for so long.
"What a sight it is--to see young people in love again," Wyll smiles.
Shadowheart deadpans. "Isn't Astarion nearing 240?"
"Who cares?" Karlach shrugs, slinging her arms on either side of her companions with a toothy beam. "What matters is that they made up...and we didn't even have to help them."
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bunviie · 2 months
Text
"wear this dress just for me,"
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pairing .ೃ࿐ eren jaeger x black (chubby) reader
synopsis ༊*·˚ your best friend eren can't handle the thought of you going out on a date, let alone in a dress he bought for you. so he distracts you from going!
contains ೃ⁀➷ oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, cum eating, overstimulation, soothing ass massages, lovesick eren just wanting to make you feel good.
this wasn't planned..and was super late. sorry.
you spun around in the mirror, eyes dancing along your plump figure. you sigh feeling defeated. throwing your skirt onto the floor with other articles of clothing you previously tried on, shadowing your current emotions. you were beginning to lose hope. nothing in the moment seemed to flatter you and you’re growing more frustrated by the second. 
the formerly clean room now stood in utter disarray. items scattered, dressing the ground suitable for the mood. your playlist wasn't of any help as it played more upbeat music. contrary to what you're feeling.
you walk over the small pile of clothes and head back over to your suitcase which has very few options left. you grabbed whatever you could before throwing them on the bed. earning an exasperated mumble.
“seriously?” your best friend sighs, removing a stray pair of underwear from his arm. his voice instantly reminds you of his presence. you forgot you invited him over for a second opinion.
“sorry eren, i'm just losing patience here,” you mutter, removing your off-the-shoulder top, leaving you in just your underwear. unaware of the intense gaze following your every movement. 
the male ponders staring at the clothes thrown to the side of him. a mix of bottled-up emotions coursing through the pit in his stomach. you were preparing yourself for a date. 
you were out with your group of friends, having a good time as one does when they're on spring break when an attractive man approached you at the bar, claiming his move on you first. eren grits his teeth recalling the previous night. 
you had been keeping your friends company on the dance floor, giving your worn-out body a few minutes of rest at the bar. you were deciding to satisfy both your thirst and prickling feet. eren had his focus on you the entire time. despite having enticing women surround his table. his lips tugged into a smile, far too many times he can count, watching you enjoy yourself. he waited until you were alone. all the while, trying to spark up the courage to talk to you, unaware of his forlorn expression that wore on his group of friends. they all bashed him for killing their mood with his obvious distress. one of them offered him words of encouragement to talk to you until ultimately garnering enough strength to walk over to where you sat, he quickly stopped in his tracks when he saw a random guy sit beside you. he was only a few words in and already had you laughing at whatever it was he said. eren could only stare blankly at you both before returning to his seat. crushed he lost the chance to speak with you. he folds and bends his fingers and hands, a habit he grew throughout the years. his joints crack and twist at every will. the sound of it springs your attention to his distracted one.
“eren?” you called him again, hoping to draw his attention away from whatever had been occupying his mind.
 he hums softly and looks up at you, acknowledging your new choice of outfit.
“what do you think?” you tug at the much shorter skirt, seeking helpful input.
“it’s too much.”
his answer lacked the usual spark and interest, much like all the other responses he gave you.
you huff displeased. “you’ve said that for ten outfits straight. it's either too much or i'm not putting in the effort,” you retort. expressing your blatant irritation.
eren’s gaze returns to the carpet, not having anything to say back. the silence speaking for him. he continues to fiddle with his hands, at a loss for words, unable to articulate the turmoil building inside of him.
“if you knew you weren’t going to be helpful, why did you agree to this?” you pull the blouse over your head, tossing it into the other pile of rejected clothes. 
eren just remains silent. his line of vision pursues your hasty movements. you approach the bed and sort through the remaining options. a white garment in particular captivates both you and eren. your eyes practically gleamed at the flowy material. you might have just found something to wear for your date.
eren’s breathing misses a beat, resulting in him inhaling unsteadily. you're oblivious to his new state. as you always were. it was no different this time so why did eren feel himself getting riled up? he could only watch hopelessly as you threw the dress. it was a perfect fit. of course, it was. he was the one who bought it for you after all.
it was a gift. he had promised you one if you managed to pass at least three of your exams. he remembers the day quite fondly. he had just finished his shift, paycheck in hand when you sent him a text asking him to pick you up some food. later defending the text, explaining that it was a joke when you sent it.  you weren't expecting him to show up with food in hand at your door thirty minutes later but he got it for you. besides, it was thanks to you that he got the chance to see such a fitting dress for you. he had passed by the store so many times on his way home from work. that day, some workers had put up new sets on display, grabbing his attention. he stopped to take a good look through the slightly smudged glass window and knew right away which dress was made for you. his heartbeat races at the thought of you potentially wearing his gift.
you squealed, your excitement not being able to be contained. it snaps eren back to you. a wave of resentment rose in his throat.
“you're not wearing that.” 
the disapproving comment leaves you taken aback. it came out of nowhere. you spun around, your mouth curving into a wry smile. and as if on cue, your playlist ends. signaling just how quiet the room was without it. 
“yeah okay, you hater,” you brush him off, heedless of his sincerity. eren doesn't take this lightly and stands up, walking over to the mirror where you stand, admiring the dress. his reflection grows closer to yours, though you don't pay him any mind.
“i mean it,” he mumbles. focused on the soft warm carpet beneath his feet. you glance behind you. he had gotten closer to you in the last few moments. his proceeding steps make you back into the wall. his body towered over you, casting a shadow over your shorter height. his arm presses against the wall, his concentration remaining on the ground. his mouth moved reluctantly as if he wanted to say something. you stared intently anticipating his next move, noting the trouble in his eyes, despite the stray hairs trying to hide them. they fall nicely, adorning his adamant features. 
“you’re not wearing it,” he repeats.
“b..but wh–”
“...you’re not gonna wear it for some other guy,” he mutters. his mind seemed to travel a million miles an hour. struggling to make sense of his words, vision darting frantically in the process. instinctively, your hands move up to cup his face,
“eren, what are you saying?” your voice was so soft and soothing. your first instinct is to comfort him. to hold him and tell him that everything is going to be okay. it's always been like this. his stare shifted to your own, his face softening naturally. you affect him so easily. his mind stops for a mere second, and his thoughts which were once a jumbled mess quickly fall into a much more coherent path. 
“i'm saying don't go out with him,” he speaks in one breath.
you stutter. not sure where all of this is coming from. saying you're stunned is an understatement. his raw honesty surprises you.
“stay here with me, please,” his hand rests on yours, his face seemingly leaning closer. for a moment, everything is brought to a pause, from the air around you to the very last breath leaving your lungs. it all comes crashing down in an instant. suddenly things happened all at once. he had gripped onto your waist, pressing his lips onto yours. your eyes widen and remain open as your lips are jostled to their own will. the kiss was sweet. there was so much longing behind it, you feel like you're being told a story.
eren pushed you further into the wall, his body closing the cruel short space between you both. you can practically feel his heartbeat humming against your chest.  his hand staggers, raising and hesitantly landing back onto your waist. as if he didn't want to push his limits. he’s holding himself back.
you stood there stupefied, your emotions welled up on their own before you could even make sense of it all.
eren pulls away, giving your hand leeway to drop back down to your sides. his eyes are again telling you a thousand things at once.
“i have feelings for you,” is what he says but you can’t fathom that you possibly heard him right, your fingers linger on the edge of your lips, mind absent to his tangent.
“i’ve had them for a while now...i just…didn't know what to do with them. at first, i thought it was affection for you because you were my best friend, but i found myself doing things i wouldn't usually do at just the mere thought of you. i feel things i don't ever want to stop feeling…” he rambles, wanting to get the mountain of words off his chest while you’re losing focus, your mind growing dizzy from everything happening. your heart swoons and you feel your face heat up. you had no idea he felt this way about you.
“and you were gonna leave with this dress on and i couldn’t le–”
“oh, eren,” you mustered out, breathlessly. reciprocating his affection, you propel yourself onto him and he catches you effortlessly, your plump lips falling on his. he kisses you back unwavering. warm emotions flow out through his entire body from your bodily consent. he isn't super sure of how you’re feeling so he pulls away again.
“wait, are you sure?” he stares at you intently. his eyes grew hazier by the minute. scanning yours for absolute certainty. the last thing he wants to do is ruin his relationship with you.
you nod and initiate the exchange again, pulling him to your height. with your assured response, his body wastes no time. it moves in a way that neither of you can process properly. his hands slide up your legs, gripping at your supple flesh. your skin is so soft and smooth, he wants more of it.
you figure out what he wants and jump at his please, thighs intuitively wrapping around, he once again catches you without difficulty. the kiss progressed into a much more heated make-out session, his tongue prodding at yours, it slipped in easily. saliva in the clash between your mouths, signifying the yearning amongst the increasingly desired-filled air.
he carried you both towards the bed where he sat on the edge of it, continuing to explore your cushioned body. you push further into the kiss, ultimately straddling his lap as he lays flat on the mattress. he groans, hands sliding under your dress to the swells of your ass. he gropes, massages, and fondles the soft flesh. he can't get enough of you. 
you guide him to the elastic underwear band, and he grasps immediately at the task, stringing the material down your legs and you two come up for air. having a mutual agreement on letting go of any remaining inhibitions that held you back, lost in the intoxicating embrace. his cold fingers graze your burning skin. you visibly shiver at his touch.
he slides himself between your thighs and warm slick greeting his prying fingers. you gasped when he began to circle your entrance, subconsciously clinging onto his shirt. his blood had already reached certain places, your subtle noises amplify it times ten. you can feel the twitching beneath you and you grind against it naturally, eren curses, bringing his hand up to have a taste of you. his eyes flicker, grappling with the effort to stay open. your face just heats up even more, embarrassment brewing deep down.
eren sucks his fingers clean before snaking back between your legs, carefully plunging into you, teasingly slow. your head lowers shamefully when there’s an audible squelch after the insertion. eren only laughs faintly. his laugh comes off as more of a breathy exhale if anything and you feel your heart and hole clench at the sound. you are lying on his chest when his free hand spreads your ass cheeks for deeper penetration. you whimper into his white t-shirt and eren is dejected from how muffled it is, urging into sliding a second finger in. you cling onto him tighter as his digits continue to work their way into stretching you open. he explores your cunt skillfully at touch, causing immense pleasure. in and out, thoroughly reaching places and sending you over the edge. your insides only get more lewd with every thrust. furthering your shame, you start to whine because of it. your intriguing sounds once again stifled by the cotton material.
this prompts eren to sit up. he adjusts you as such, fixing you snugly in his lap, your legs caging either side of him. his fingers remain plunged deep inside of you. your arms come up and rest on his shoulders, your head buried into his neck. you didn't want him to see you become his heated mess. he is well aware of your shyness but doesn't mind it too much.  instead, he tries to provoke more of your sweet cries, increasing his pace as more of your essence leaves your sopping cunt.
eren suddenly clears his throat. the rumbling in his chest makes you flinch.
“were you really about to wear this dress for him?”
you almost missed it. the question was so soft, so low, you’re nearly positive that it didn't happen.  you raise your head to look at him, already meeting his stare glued on you. his eyes were darker than usual. you can identify a bit of hurt behind them but the lust that stood front and center hid it all. his softened glare lingers on yours before dancing back down on your body. 
you sat up tall in his longing embrace. words that you wanted to say, you couldn't even think of. your mind was boggling with pleasure, you’re not sure if you're even thinking at all. your mouth opens and closes a few times. words failing and turning into pants and whimpers. and as if to encourage you, eren smooths his hands over your ass, giving you a soothing encouragement boost.
“i– i….i d–didn’t…kn–”
hearing you try to form a proper sentence and epically fail, did something to eren. it was pathetic in a way. the tears that leaked into the corner of your eyes. the drool that stood teasingly on the edge of your bottom lip, and the constant cute moans he heard ignited something deeper. his mind too is boggled with pleasure. the pleasuring thought being you, in his veiny arms, taking his fingers like the good girl you are. one of his many desires he gets to fulfill. he was living it in this very moment. making you feel good. he couldn't wrap his head around it still but here he is, drilling his long fingers inside of you, causing a fat glob of cream to escape. he also thought you would be on the verge of tears right now or begging him to fuck you with his pretty cock that sat confined in his shorts. his balls hung heavy under his raging erection. it honestly was really achy but then again, he didn't mind it. he preferred your pleasure over his. it's always been that way. 
even if the tip of his dick was oozing the sticky stuff and was ready to pounce on you at any given moment, he fights against it. 
this is not about him right now. it's about him showing you how much he treasures you.
and with this, he moves his hands between your thighs at immense speed. wanting to bring you to tears from his aforementioned thought, he felt like wasn't doing too much. you lose your breath because of this, hands gripping onto his shirt tightly as you feel your stomach tie up knots. you looked down to find the cause of the sudden increase in pace. his hand moved so fast, that it resembled the look of vibrations. your eyes close shut feeling your body beginning to tense up. your toes curled and your eyes prickled from the oncoming tears. your body practically pleading for that sweet sweet release.
eren removes his hold from your ass cheek, using his now free hand to dart slow strokes onto your clit and this sends you over the edge. your body shakes on impact. your cries come to a temporary cease as your climax washes over you. eren only slows his pace by a little, wanting you to ride out your high entirely. it wasn't until you shuddered that you reached between your thighs for him to stop. he picks up your hand and places a tender kiss on the back of it. his gentle touch makes you flinch, the result of the aftershocks. he removes his other hand, laying his fingers flat on his tongue, his upper lip coming down to secure the flavor, the flavor of you. you watch him lazily, occasionally jumping. that orgasm had ripped so much of you, your eyelashes met the skin of your warm cheeks many times. you feared that you might just fall asleep in your best friend’s arms. your head dozed onto his shoulder and eren rubbed your back. a subtle praise, a good job, for you. 
he can feel your short breaths on his skin. they soon become better paced, signifying that you have calmed down. your arms cling around him tighter, drowsiness eating away at your consciousness. you sigh contently. thinking about how great the night could end this way.
eren then grips the bottom of your thighs and lifts himself off the bed before placing you on it and for a moment you're sad. thinking he’s leaving after the intimate moment you two just shared. you want to stop him. ask him to stay and keep you company for a little while but don't find the energy to. instead, you ready yourself to turn over and cover yourself with the blankets when a sudden force yanks you to the end of the bed. your sleepiness almost immediately dissipates with shock.
eren stands where your feet lay, quickly lowering himself onto the ground. you sit up on your elbows and watch as he bunches your dress around your stomach, only to pull you further to the edge of the bed. his arms swiftly wrap around your thighs, letting your legs hang off his shoulder. he’s engulfed in your softness.
you open your mouth to detest anything and everything he’s about to do but you're too slow. eren’s head dips closer to your core, his tongue out to flick at your clit. you flinch, your swollen bud buzzing with sensitivity. eren sees this but doesn't care. he only goes in again and you hiss this time. 
“i think i'm sensitive, you don’t have to–mmm,”
you suck on your lips when he puts your clit in his mouth. mouth enclosed on the tiny bundles of pleasure as his tongue mercilessly laps at it. you start trembling early on, your hand slapping over your mouth. it's too much. holy shit, it's too much.
the fleshy muscle works wonders along your slit. he removes his head and one of his arms momentarily, fixing two fingers to part your slick-coated folds. he’s visibly salivating before spitting onto the area. lathering it up, his touch grazing your clit ever so lightly. you wince, flipping your hand over to nibble on the skin, your other hand helplessly holding onto the edge of your dress.
he teases your cunt cruelly, the tip of his thumb moving lazily. 
“i love your pussy so much,” he breathes heavily on your core. seemingly enamored with your very being. he spoke as if it wasn't his first time. he had dreamt of being between your thighs far too many times for far too long. and now here he was, cuddled up tight with your noticeably succulent writhing body above him. there's nowhere else he would rather be. he blows on your tiny nub once more before going back at it, skipping the bothersome foreplay.
you shiver when his tongue slips inside your entrance, the overstimulation beating on your body. you held back the tears that threatened to fall. you try to remove your thighs from around his head but the grip around them only tightens. your feeble attempt at pushing his head away fails, earning low groans from eren. your effort appears like you were only just guiding him rather than trying to grow distance.
“e–eren..” 
you call but he’s too immersed. his eyes remained closed, head moving in a frenzied state, wanting every last drop of you. stray strands of his hair stuck onto his forehead. looking at it, his hair was a mess but it was not like you had room to speak–
his tongue repeatedly prods your leaky hole, gaining a plethora of pleasant sounds from your deserted mouth. your once busy hand was now clutched tightly onto the bedsheets. the oversensitivity turns into vast bliss, and you promptly wish he gave you more of it.
he comes up for air, “i’ve wanted this for so long,” 
he dips back in and eren is so focused on you, nothing you know about because your mind is growing dizzy. you can feel your body begin to shut down with each pump, irregularly grinding your bare cunt against his face, your same hand used to push him away was now tangled in his roots. you muttered lines of gibberish, feeling that familiar warmth form in your lower stomach.
he slips back up and gives you words of encouragement.
“please yn, cum on my face,”
he says, your stomach wrenched over from how easily those words left his lips. it was so breathy yet so gentle on the ears. you wanted nothing more than to give him what he wanted. eren keeps his eyes on you, using his free hand to rub relentless circles on your clit. you continue to writhe and shake, your best friend’s name keen on your mind. he filled your entire being, as you did to him. the entire room smelt like him and he smelt like you. which he loved.
he uses his other hand and applies pressure on your lower stomach, urging an abrupt release. you call out to him raggedly, voice nearly hoarse. your body spasms and induces minor tremors everywhere. it's something you won't ever get tired of. neither will eren.
he slips his finger inside your throbbing hole, the slow, deliberate thrusts are there for easing rather than causing more of your suffering. each movement is a mixture of pleasure and pain, love and lust. and in that moment something ignites within you deep down.
you sniffle, finally coming down from your high. only to cower when you feel eren lick a fat stroke of you. your hand pushes his hair back and retracts quickly.
“sorry, it was dripping on the bed,” was all he said and you felt a flutter in your chest.
he sighs contently and stands up, heading towards your bathroom. you hear him run some water for a few minutes before he returns with a towel in hand. he doesn't say anything and squats down to his previous position, gliding the towel gently between your legs, he cleans you up fondly. his eyes hold so much affection for you. 
your flushed cheeks flare up timidly and eren, who had eren watching you intently, smiles.
“you don't have to be shy around me anymore,” 
“who said i was shy before?”
he quirks a brow, leaving his expression to say the rest. you glower and lay back on the mattress.
eren had left and returned, this time returning shirtless with a few articles of clothing in hand, tossing them over your face.
your attention shifted to the direction of the clothes.
“i figured you would want to sleep comfortably..” eren states the obvious.
you stare sheepishly at the choice of underwear he chose for you.
“ah…thanks,” you nod, picking up the clothes. he stands by the bed and observes your every move.
“you gonna watch me change?” you ask him.
“i mean yeah, that’s the plan,” he responds coyly.
you sat still for a moment to see if he meant what he said and he did. eren kept his stand, arms folded and everything, awaiting your next move.
you chuckle nervously and remove yourself from the bed cautiously, pulling at your dress to cover your sacred areas until you get to the restroom. eren only laughs and allows you space for your privacy.
after changing, you leave the bathroom and walk hesitantly over to eren. he lay on the left side of the bed, his back facing you. you had spent a while in there despite only going in there to change out of your dress. you had sat down on the toilet to think back on everything that happened tonight. making your mind up on certain things, you struggled for solutions for the rest. you didn't take into account how long you were in there.
“eren?” you call out meekly. your steps slowed down as you got closer to the bed. “about what you said, i–”
“it's okay yn, we can talk about it tomorrow,” 
his sudden response startled you seeing how you thought he was asleep. either way, you nod and walk over to the other side of the bed. you get in, unknowingly keeping your distance. 
eren tries to ease your discomfort by pulling you closer to his chest. you sigh. this act seemingly wipes all your worries away…at least for now. his embrace is the one sure thing you are sure about. you close your eyes and drift off into sleep. hoping a good night’s rest will leave your mind filled with answers tomorrow.
489 notes · View notes
comfortless · 2 months
Note
Hello! This is the Frankenstein anon back with more praise and another prompt that you might like. Again you are amazing and everyone you come out with stuff, I weep for joy! Please continue what you are doing because it is absolute art✨
Okay onto the prompt. So lately tiktok has been putting onto this telenova drama called Hilda Furcão which is pretty much this priest and prostitute fall in love but due to societal pressures, cannot be together. The YEARNING in this show is amazing and I can’t help but think of Priest Konig in this situation. Imagine he falls in love with reader who works at a brothel but because he’s a churchly man, he’s fighting demons in his head (and down yonder) cuz he YEARNS for her but the lord says no🥴
Please keep doing what you’re doing and I’m constantly cheering you on with your work! ❤️
In the Arms of Flowers
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content/warnings: 18+. minors do not interact. pining, lots of talk of religion/silly metaphors, fluff, ridiculous attempts at courtship from both, dark (if you squint), implied cyber stalking, violence/murder, minor character death, some angst, sexual violence (not done by König), König becomes horribly obsessed and reader is fine with it, virgin!König-> oral (both receiving) piv smut.
wc: 11k.
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There’s a garden in the churchyard, one that’s always been, even before his vows were taken and the cassock was pulled around his shoulders.
It’s the very place that the arching den window in the clergy house faces out towards, and the very place that an angel descends from Heaven to stalk through night after night.
Even when the thunder clamors and rolls to light up the sky above, the pretty thing is there, kneeling amongst the blooming lilies. A listless sort of purity swallows over her, bathes her in the white of petals and the bright illumination of each bolt of lightning above, arcs a halo over her head like a proper mirage.
The whole town knows these doors remain open, but never does she even look toward the church or the home of holy men at all: only the flowers. The lilies and carnations seemed to be her favorite to haunt, weaving through the petals as they sway for her in breezes like whispers from the pouting lips of cherubim.
He’s prayed for this lost soul many times already; clutched the rosary between his fingers and whispered to the Lord to protect her, to heal whatever aches, to bring her wandering feet into the chapel one of these days. But as most lilies, this one’s beauty is gone away by mid-morning.
Tonight, he wills himself to bring her in for prayer and refuge from the coming rain. Its been a long time coming, and regrettably he’s hesitated at every other opportunity. Nothing’s changed, the scene was so commonplace even the others have commented on it prior.
Maybe he hallucinates her holiness; the halo has become made up of fallen petals now as they arch over the crown of her head where she’s found sprawled out amongst them. She raises herself to sit upright, dusts the dirt from her knees and offers a wary glance with each step he takes until his soles halt in soil that would soon be mire.
“I’m sorry. I’ll leave,” the angel breathes out with her eyes darting from his collar down to rest at the expanse of short blades of grass between them. “I don’t mean to cause you any trouble.”
She doesn’t meet the concern in his eyes, and König is no stranger to sin. To the shame and grief that he’s absolved from far worse than her in the stuffy wooden confessional.
“You’re welcome to stay.” A silent prayer rests there in his breath — please stay, though even he wasn’t certain as to why there’s a demand stirring in the pit of his stomach for this woman clad in a dirtied white dress.
She smiles then, gazes right up at him in such a way that immediately sparks something misplaced, something tucked away beneath studying scripture and kneeling before the wooden altar. A sin of the flesh, a heated poker jabbing at both his heart and his loins.
“No, I’m okay,” she assures with a slight dip of her head, already taking steps back to dart away, back to whichever gilded little nest of baubles and starlight she took flight from. “I was just heading home.”
And that’s it. He doesn’t plead for her to come inside, the offer has been laid out already. It’s not his job to force a belief that one doesn’t want, only lend a kindness and a cushioned pew, advice for the lost and a choir for bleating lambs.
He bids her goodbye and walks back to the clergy house, ignoring the strange looks of his peers as they all prepare to bed down after a nightly prayer. It’s rare to smile here, when sacred words are passed from the wrinkled, cracked lips of his seniors. But König does smile, the grin is as bright as the seconds of white lighting up the sky in intervals as he silently thanks God for such a sweet vision amidst such darkness.
The fixation does not falter for the following three nights. She doesn’t return to the churchyard to whisper secrets to the blooms, but the angel weighs on his mind so heavily that König finds himself convinced that she must have been his calling, a soul that he would assuredly save.
His sermons now lack their passion. The parishioners come to him with weighty hearts and misery in their eyes, but bless him all the same, even when he’s distant. Away with the fairies, some would say. He can’t help but wonder when one such service rolls to a closing prayer if whoever conjured such words had also been in the presence of a seraph.
“Do you need prayer?,” one of his fellow priests asks as the flock trickles out, worry clear in the wrinkles laden beneath this eyes and the way his lips draw down before pressing thin. “You don’t seem to be sleeping well.”
And König regrets the words he speaks next, when he describes the woman from the flowers in detail greater than necessary: how her eyes seemed so soft, her smile fragile, and her body language more docile than that of even a lamb. He mentions the dirty dress, the way she seemed to be trying to escape something yet refused the shelter he offered.
The other priest nods and sighs, his eyes squeezing shut in thought, and though König has not feared a scolding since he abandoned home nearly two decades prior, the way the ordinarily calm priest seems so frustrated by this sends a swell of fluttering anxiety beneath his ribcage.
“The woman you describe is a temptress,” his elder explains coldly. His sharp, dark eyes rest on König’s face as though the disparity in their height does not exist at all. “Best to let her be, she does not want our help. Leave it alone.”
“Ja. Verstanden.”
The warning is enough to dull the buzzing in his chest, the mush that’s been made up of his head until he sees her again.
The bakery in town regularly makes donations of pastries and thick loaves of bread for church goingson. It isn’t regular that he’s been asked to pick them up; the eldest of the priests usually does so, some blood relation to the owners that König has never cared enough to ask about. The old man never did well in the summer months, though, far too frail now to bear the heat snaking over his pale skin and leaving burns.
With the mistake of rambling onward about this perturbing fascination still grating at his mind, he doesn’t hesitate to volunteer, to take the old truck and step away from the stained glass and crucifixes for a brief outing. A moment of respite.
There’s a complimentary mug of coffee presented across the expanse of the counter when the cashier greets him with a smile so broad it seems faked.
König’s fingers twitch when he grasps at the handle; the uncertainty was something he had sworn he would outgrow one day with God’s healing, but it never seemed to stray far from him. It rests over the back of his neck like a feeding vampire when he takes his first sip, one that burns his tongue and stings at his eyes when he notices the woman seated at a table in the corner.
It’s her: temptation and fate packaged up in a loose fitting sweater that covers the pulse in her neck and a short skirt.
She holds her phone, not the mug stationed before her, staring down at the thing with the most somber expression he’s ever seen on a lady before. She taps her thumbs at the screen, talking to someone, but there’s a loneliness in her expression apparent like the rust on the old truck parked outside.
Poor little thing.
She glances up when his staring is detected, confusion stripped bare upon her with a pinched brow and a slack jaw. Then, follows realization and she offers the same smile she did that night, some seventy or so hours prior.
“Morning, Father.”
There’s not a fractal within König that wants to make the sweet spirit uncomfortable, but each step he takes towards her table seems to make her shoulders tense. She knows that he knows, sees that sympathetic look in his eye and hates it.
Maybe even hates him for the divinity he wears in the sable cloth pulled over his shoulders.
That doesn’t stop his approach.
König sits across from her with shaking hands and a forced smile like the one the cashier wears, drops his mug onto the table and offers her his hand. Fingers bending to graze the palm as though beckoning a frightened animal when it’s he who feels most afraid.
The angel merely eyes him cautiously for a moment before she takes the cup into both of her hands and gives him a fragile huff, dismissing his attempt to pray for her soul. Again. Yet, the sting he feels is not from a lack of a starved savior complex being satisfied, only… that he has yet to touch her somehow. That sudden thought stifles him in full.
But angels are nothing if not merciful and loving; she picks up on his dejection and speaks again in his place.
“How are the carnations?”
“Hm?”
“The flowers in the garden… the red ones,” she elaborates with a soft laugh, hides it behind the rim of her cup when it’s raised for her to take a sip. Her mouth looks soft, compelling, and he’s staring again. “I like them the most.”
He knows he should stop this, that what’s become of an innocent meeting has left him feeling anything but. There’s a howling chasm in place of the heart of a worthy devotee. She’s nothing like the women who frequent the church — the only other women he sees. Brighter at best and alluring at the worst.
“I thought the lilies were your favorite…” It’s unsuited for a priest and a man so tall and broad to sound so breakable, but his voice only comes in an hurried breath, embarrassed and small.
She shakes her head, tousles her hair in the process. “I like all of them. The ones at your church grow prettiest.”
“I see…”
The woman gives him an expectant look, as if prompting him to speak more, before her phone chimes and the air seems to shift from tentative yet sweet to something vast and cold. She doesn’t seem eager to be interrupted in such a way, either; her expression falls from that subtle playfulness to something akin to a regretful acceptance.
She stands from her seat abruptly and takes a step towards the door. “I have something I need to take care of.”
God gives and takes away.
“I can bring you some,” he offers, winding in the too-small wooden chair to face her. Too late to reel in the flirtatious nature of such an offering, too late to bite his tongue and remember the vows he had taken. The burden upon his heart seems far more pressing than any words from an old book. “Carnations and lilies… some of the others, too.”
The woman almost seems shy when she glances over her shoulder and offers him the most imperceptible nod. “Yeah, sure… I’ll see you around.”
His angel leaves him to rot in thought at that lonely table, in this tiny bakery. He does not think to repent for the way his temperature and pulse spiked in her presence, for the way he takes her empty cup and stuffs it into one of the boxes of baked goods to collect later.
Riding back to the church is dreadful, because she’s already fastened to his heart like a ribbon on a pretty bouquet. He’ll ask the sisters from the cloister to clip flowers for him, tie them up in a lace that will leave her face warmed and lips pouting.
When the people in the church have their fill of sweets and bread, König tells a lie, maybe several.
He claims he doesn’t know why that innocuous porcelain thing is resting where food once had, doesn’t know why the baker would have stuffed that in there too. He takes it to his room and claims that he would return it come morning.
The bed has always felt far too small for him alone, but he pictures her there with him, sat upon his lap when he brings the cup up to his lips with his eyes closed.
It’s cold and hard, difficult to imagine it to be a kiss at all, but he pretends her lips are upon him, eager and willing. It takes only rolling his tongue back to flick over itself, envisioning it being her own, for him to feel his trousers grow too tight. He doesn’t touch himself. He can’t bear the thought of it, not with the cross staring down at him from the far wall.
And finally, regret comes.
Shame, too, because König is aware he’s become a bit of a creep; enchanting himself with second hand kisses whilst his angel takes another man to bed. A man undeserving, but… he could be. He was deserving enough to become a holy man, surely she could see he was worthy of her as well.
The bed is too small even when he curls into himself and pulls the blanket up passed his eyes. Sleep is too skittish to come for him, even when he prays in a whisper to be absolved of his lust.
The dreams are only filled with images of an angel trapped in a rose bush, the thorns sinking into her wings until blood is drawn, but still she smiles. She reaches toward him with shaky limbs, whispers something so dreadfully mournful he knows to his very soul that she is his purpose alone.
It’s what wakes him in a fit, compels him to venture out through the yard with a heart set on seeking guidance. There are moonbeams above and animal calls from the surrounding trees. All of God’s creations are in perfect, dreamy harmony.
Why couldn’t he be the same? Always the outsider in one way or another; always the sore thumb rather than the loving green. Desolation is an art, a skill he’s learned to hide back: clenched teeth to still a wrathful tongue and a layer of muscle to guard that wounded thing in his chest.
There is no better peace than the quiet of the church in the late hour. Moonlight through stained glass and empty, antique seats that would make the worldly whip out their phones to snap pictures in a heartbeat. The doors are always open, for the sinners and the devoted alike, though the confessional is rarely touched when there would be no saint awake set on absolving.
Perhaps that’s why he takes to the booth he needs to make himself smaller to fit into: one shoulder and one foot first, then the next set. He’s never cared for it, left it to the better and smaller. The sound just past the thin partition rattles him. It isn’t the creaking of wood below his feet, but something softer. A weak sniffle. A cry from the other side.
“I’ll leave in a moment,” comes a voice, broken from tears and so horribly sad that the usual script entirely fails him. He recognizes the voice, though a bit warbled now. The voice that would make the choir pause, an angel’s sweet tone.
“Wait… no. You can stay. I’m hiding, too.” A breathy laugh comes forced and misplaced. Priest or not, König has never been the best at consoling anyone, let alone one so far above him.
“I’m not hiding,” she tries to sound braver now. He can imagine her chin tilted forward and that sweet smile trying it’s damndest to paint its way across her face. “But… why are you?”
“Don’t know.”
“Who are you?” The crying seems to have ceased entirely for now. Clearly whatever seemed to ail her could be remedied by her own curiosity. A cute, unorthodox little thing.
“König.” It served well enough as a confirmation name when he could not settle on one of the saints. King of them all, one of the other saved men had said in jest. Ironic, now.
“I like your voice, König,” she murmurs, deliberately testing the pronunciation on her tongue in such an alluring way that a small shiver runs its way down his spine.
“Danke… and you?”
God forgive him, he doesn’t even try. Doesn’t try to bring shame or guilt, read her scripture or pray for her soul. He only listens in silence when she tells him her name, beautiful and charming as he had expected it to be. The woman then tells him of her work, of the motel she ventures to at night… the troubles with money and even vaguely, some of the men she suffers through. This had been a bad night. Strange how a singular hour could have broken someone down to such a desperation to open up, to grasp for what small comfort they could receive.
But she came for him.
She must have hoped to see him.
He thanks his god for that.
— — —
“I bought a phone.”
“I see that.” Her fingers graze over the stems of the flowers, cleanly cut by hands more patient and stable than König’s own.
The angel isn’t looking up at him, not this time. There isn’t even a smile on her face when she cradles the bouquet close to her chest, petting over it where she sits upon the motel bed wearing nothing but some strappy, barely-there lingerie. Pure white with pink lace over the cups of her bra where her breasts swell with each shaky intake of breath.
In this week apart, he’s kept the device hidden in a loose pocket and spent many a night scouring the seediest websites looking for a hint of a body that may belong to her in this very area. Only one seemed to match. The messages exchanged were about hours and pricing, establishing a location, and terms he didn’t quite understand. He didn’t harp on the small details, but finding her messages to be so rigid and dry did surprise him. There were no cute hearts or winking emojis, it all felt horribly transactional.
Priests don’t make a lot of money, it all goes back to the church, but he’s thieved enough from the offering bowls to have a night with her alone. As disheartening as the lack of flirtations seemed, he hoped not to squander whatever opportunity this outing proved to be.
The balaclava covering his face wasn’t purchased with the intention of making her nervous, only… shielding himself from curious stares. The whole town knows his face, his name, the words he speaks so resolutely to his flock. Just as well as they know of who she is, what she does.
Even this knitted shield couldn’t hide himself from her, though. The very moment he entered this drab, modestly decorated room with flowers in hand she had only looked further lost.
“You look very pretty,” he tries as he removes the mask and drops it to the floor, kneels just a hair from where her feet dangle from the bed. “I’m glad that I found you.”
“Thank you.”
The flowers are placed on the side table, petals falling down to the thin carpet below. A cascade of red like blood and white like doves feathers. Purity and a wound in one.
The poor thing looks scorned when she does give him a glance then, but she forces herself into a position that stokes a hellish, unnatural flame within him. Her thighs part as her hands rest on the cups of her bra, pushing the thin fabric down to reveal areola, her soft nipples, sights that he had never seen before.
“You shouldn’t even be here, König,” the lady warns when his gaze sweeps over the innocent flesh laid bare before him. The angel isn’t even wet. Her panties are pristine over her womanhood, and it dawns on him that… she wouldn’t risk what he was even for the generous donation he had given.
“I don’t want to ruin you.”
But she should. Crumble him into salt, cast him away with the wind. Should.
She sees something holy in him too… albeit, not in the way that he would like for her to.
He swallows hard as he rises to his feet and sits next to her. The hands that were so accustomed to being joined in prayer find her breasts now with tentative touches, a curious squeeze, until he wills himself to readjust the fabric and conceal her properly.
“Ja, but… I just wanted to visit you.”
“You don’t need to pay me just to see me.”
The tension in the room finally begins to dissolve. Not by much, but when she sighs something that sounds like amusement, the restless throbbing of his heart does begin to settle.
As much as he would like to take her like some beast in rut, lay some claim to her in bursts of white seed, he doesn’t even know where to begin. Each curve of her body looks as though it would feel like a miracle beneath his palm, under his tongue.
It’s just that nothing is going to happen, not here, not now that he’s brought a prostitute flowers and revealed who he was to her. She sees something pitiful, where he only sees someone to love.
He can’t tell her that he dreams of her, that he views her in the same way he views his god. That would only scare her away, lead her to believe he’s a lunatic rather than a man only just now having his first taste of love.
“Then could I see you every night? So that you don’t have to…” His head dips, because no matter how he tries he knows any word he says is foolish.
This isn’t something she’s doing because it is fun for her; it’s a job just like his own. Flesh or words spoken… did it even matter? And yet, König could feel a malicious, gnawing envy at the thought of a bolder man taking his place tomorrow evening. That man wouldn’t hesitate to peel away her pretty lingerie and fuck her, shove his tongue into her mouth while his cock sat between her legs as if it belonged there.
“König,” she sighs next to him, pityingly.
His jaw tenses as his fingers curl into his palms. The hopelessness of it all crashes down around him as though sung out from the loudest of the choir. He hardly notices when she presses her head against his shoulder, only realizes how close she’s come to him when her hand curls over one of his own.
“You’re the strangest man I’ve ever met.” It’s not a compliment but it feels like one when she laughs like that, airy and soft. “The sweetest one, too.”
He smells her perfume from this close, something scented like fruit or maybe maple, sap-sticky and saccharine. All of her flesh feels warm against the plain t-shirt he wears, a warmth he would give anything to dive into, but not without her explicit command. A powerful seraph in the form of one painfully cute, gentle lady. If anyone could see what he saw now, they too would forsake those holy books and eat from her open palm instead.
“I don’t know what to do,” he confesses, a peculiar bitterness hanging on his tongue.
“How about a walk?”
He pulls the balaclava over his face again when they make their way out into the quiet, darkened street. Hand in hand. It’s not from shame, but a necessity, perhaps, because his pale face has only flowered into a lasting pink since laying eyes upon her on that mattress, sprawled out and waiting. The blush only deepens with every squeeze she blesses him with, every hushed word spoken as she tells him about her favorite places.
She’s dressed in the same white dress they had initially met in, now clean of the dirt from flower beds. Somehow even more radiant at this close, too.
The churchyard and the clergy house are nothing in comparison to the way the rest of the town feels when the moon rises. It’s a world all their own, a place where no one looks at her as if she were a simple harlot, but a queen amongst chipping wood and tarmac. There’s even a skip in her step as she walks ahead of him, her hips swaying beneath her skirt. All because there’s no one here but she and her most loyal and only acolyte.
He wills himself out of her grasp when they cross the threshold into the cemetery. The darkness there is enough to pull him back to earth; thoughts of how easily swayed he’s been linger in the back of his mind. The want doesn’t even begin to reel back its claws, but the guilt does sink its pearly fangs in alongside it.
“I get it. You don’t want to be seen with me,” she says a small step away, drawing her hand up to her chest. It’s the saddest she’s ever looked, and he doesn’t have the words to further explain that he has no god damn idea what he’s doing: here, with her, in the midst of something that feels so normal even though it should not.
“Nein! That’s not—“
“You don’t want to touch me. You barely talk…”
Because the words don’t come easy. Because he’s never felt such an overbearing devotion to anyone, anything apart from what he prays to. How could she… this woman that shared in such loneliness with him not see him for what he was, not see him in the way that he sees her?
“You’re misunderstanding.”
“You just want to… to convert me, is that right?,” she hisses, sounding more shaken up than he had ever hoped to hear.
All hesitation had to be swallowed back.
There was no other option. He could feel her slipping away, a pain he wasn’t prepared to face.
God gives and takes away, but König refuses to let go.
His eyes narrow, his breath halts entirely, and he cups her face in his hands as gently as he can. The distance between them feels like miles as he lowers his head to kiss her through the knit barrier. It’s flighty and petrifying on his side… he feels cold sweat wet his brow when the warmth of her pulls through.
She could hit him, spit her curses like a proper witch, and he would only fall to her feet and kiss her heels. But… she does none of those things. Whatever pain was brewing here is ripped away with the night breeze.
Her hands peel away the balaclava, discard it somewhere into the tall grass where it wouldn’t be found, and she grants him his first, proper kiss.
With only the cracked headstones and cemetery angels watching, what once was tentative becomes a full indulgence. König samples from her mouth as though it weeps honey when the gentle peck graduates to a parting of lips. His hands run down the length of her sides as she grasps at his shirt, they pull her in close until her chest meets his own and two pairs of eyelids flutter.
She feels more heavenly than his imagination could have prepared him for, her tongue hotter and her sounds… the soft sighs and shaky murmurs of approval that fill him with both a maddening love and an urge to burn everything away if only it would keep her safe and near.
The world ceases to be entirely, cast down with Lucifer to the sulfur and smoke. Her lips remain parted when they break apart, a haze over her eyes reflecting the veil clouding his own irises.
Was a kiss really forsaking his vows? Was that really such a painful treachery? No… no it shouldn’t be. The issue remains that he can not see her as just some woman. Something as small as this could consume him entirely.
The night is spent with an abundance of those shared kisses when they return to the motel. Tentative touches, too. He’s never held a woman, not in the way he gets to hold her then. She presses tightly to him, her back to his chest with her hand keeping his own in place over her middle. She’s so soft, swans down plush and smooth as silk ribbon.
There is mint lingering on her breath each time she speaks. No talk of her work, only… she confesses how she had feared him so initially, how she worried that a holy man stepping into her life would only be further condemnation: an angel terrified by a devil that does not exist at all.
He knows he’s lost a part of himself here when he tells her he wishes to meet with her again, that if the church is no longer the place she fancies to walk, he’ll meet her amongst the dead again and again when the old clergymen sleep. Those promises he had reserved solely for God turn on themselves now, when he reveres the idol he shares this bed with.
Though her hips press back against his groin when his fingers crawl up to her sternum, and the desire strikes up within him, his cock remains untouched here. He doesn’t whisper a prayer for forgiveness into her hair when he grows hard, just tucks her in closer and smiles where his head rests atop her own.
It’s the closest to bliss he’s ever felt.
— — —
“You weren’t here for morning prayer.” The voice isn’t accusatory, just observant. The nightly prayers were missed too, though a reprieve is granted by way of those remaining unmentioned.
But the guilt does eat at König when he sees the concern in this man’s eyes, splinters at his very soul until he asks in a fragile voice if he can speak to the old priest in the confessional.
Everything here feels much too small and the booth is more or less the same. The wood closes in around him, bathes him in a blackness that even the glow of candlelight within these walls can not reach. The partition separating them does not help bolster courage, it only leaves him feeling more alone.
The clergyman listens in silence as König confesses that he has become weak. He does not mention the lady of the night, but there’s no need to at all: finding himself so captivated with a woman that he considered breaking every promise to the higher power was bad enough. He does not mention how he’s considered pleasuring himself, touching her too… only that they shared a night together embraced, counts the kisses that were exchanged with each digit of his hands.
There’s a pitying sigh from the other side before the man begins a lengthy prayer that König does join him in. With the “Amen” that follows, he’s told only to rid himself of those thoughts, to bury them with fasting and prayer. No more visits with this temptress, remain on the right path. The very, very simple things he must do to receive God’s forgiveness and favor once more.
“You are not a disappointment,” his elder reminds him with a small pat to his cheek and a smile. It’s more fatherly than the sparse affection he received from his own flesh and blood before coming here.
“Danke… thank you,” he breathes when his eyes bear the burden of tears.
God loves him and so do the sainted men.
But to never see her again would be worse than flagellation.
He chokes down the pain with more water when his stomach roars with hunger, hides the broken heart with smiles and prayer. Holy clothes feel heavier now. The money he stole to spend that night with her is returned to the collection pool in a week's time. The smartphone he had purchased is tossed out with the rest of the garbage in the bins. Even the cup is returned to the bakery after being rinsed in the sink.
Still not a part of him feels absolved from this torturous puppet show.
He thinks of her more than he ponders over his fear of Hell itself. God feels like an old memory as the days pass. He counts them in his daybook, an ‘X’ next to the dates he had gone without seeing her. Ten becomes twenty, and it becomes no less agonizing.
The prayers come easier, at least. He joins with his fellow men, kneels with his hands clasped before him, speaks such heartfelt words now that on more than one occasion he’s shared a healing tear or two with the other clergymen.
God is an old friend, yes, but that title is just a placeholder for the one his prayers are truly for. The little angel of the garden, the woman who has given him nothing at all but stole his heart all the same. Was she not the same as God from that aspect?
After a month, he’s finally given the privilege to stand before the altar and preach to the parishioners again. His sermon is directed by the other clergymen, a subtle admission of his own misdeeds as he guides the flock away from the sins of lust, of worldly pleasures that would steer them away from the right path.
Amidst the men and women crowding the pews sits a new face. She wears a hat, looking uncertain and skittish as a bunny amidst a pack of starved hounds beneath its curved brim. Her coat is tugged tightly around her where her hands grip to keep it closed and snug. No one is out to get her, not here, but there’s a purplish bruise on her neck. A sad stare trails up to meet his gaze when he stammers through the words of scripture.
Then, she smiles and his heart only feels full.
The sermon ends clumsily enough, but she waits for him in the center pew. He ensures the others have cleared out before he takes rigid steps toward her, where he sits a foot or so away on the bench; the feigned friendliness is only a front for the rapid beating of his heart and the way the blush upon his face paints up to his ears.
“I waited to walk with you… like you promised we would,” she says in place of a greeting. There’s no chiding in her tone, just curiosity. Gentle, like she’s speaking to a wounded bird, and perhaps that’s what he’s become: some big, ugly vulture. Holy in its love of everything from the sky to the rot down below.
“I’m sorry. I..,” he laments, grasping for an explanation that does not come.
“No, I understand. It’s alright, König.”
He knows he doesn’t deserve the gift of her redemption with how easily he turned away from her, from the blooming of… something. It was best not to use that word anymore.
“I just didn’t want to wait any longer. I missed you,” she huffs when the silence extends between them, breaks up the tension in the air but not what creeps over her own shoulders.
“Your bruise..” He wants to tell her of his sleepless nights, of how he pictures her in place of any old deity upon a throne in heaven, but settles for where his eyes linger on her neck.
No explanation is provided, but she lets him bring his fingers to it, ghost over where the purple melds to yellow in the shape of thick fingerprints. Add wrath to the ever growing list of his sins, because it’s all he feels amidst the envy and love.
His fingers dig into the plain back trousers when they rest upon his lap again, something foreign buzzes beneath his skin. The thought that any man would be brazen enough to lay hands upon his very own angel.. It’s unbelievable, unforgivable. His thoughts spiral so quickly it’s frightening. Timid things can become vicious, too, when backed into corners.
She manages to keep this growing storm in check when she stands and smooths her skirt, and offers to tidy up the church in an act of ‘repentance’.
The chores are simple and the sisters that linger far past service seem grateful to have her here as she takes up the broom and sweeps away at the dusty floor. They chatter away with her, take her hat and rest their hands over her shoulders when the cleaning winds to an end. His angel closes her eyes in prayer, doesn’t so much as open them to send him a knowing glance when they pray for her to find a good husband, someone who deserves such a lovely, godly woman.
She shares a meal with them while König keeps to himself with scripture in hand, mindlessly roving over the words even when his thoughts drift to the night of their first kiss.
He reasons that it’s only natural when she gives him such a display of acceptance too. It only solidifies what he knows already: this woman is no succubus— she has not crawled from the depths of Hell to drag him back with her, she’s only heavensent. An angel with a broken wing or a gaping wound somewhere… something to care for.
She’s encouraged to return by several fond voices. A few of the women even offer to walk her home, the daylight is dying and it’s dangerous for a lone lady out at night. The angel smiles at him then, sharing in the knowledge that she prefers the dark. Not the wicked things, but the peace and the beauty of the moon.
And she returns when he abstains from her.
She confides in him after each sermon that she does long to see him more often, but she likes the way he speaks of Mary Magdalene and the other women in scripture, pokes fun at the lilt to his voice when he notices her amidst the crowd of others. She says she likes him a lot before they part ways in the evenings, but she doesn’t tempt him with pouts or trailing fingers.
He thanks her for respecting his faith each time - despite being the one who crossed several boundaries initially. Though he keeps his hands to himself now, the looks he gives to her are pleading and soft. If she would pull him into a kiss now, he would let her have all of him. They could run away together, from the church, from her clients…
It’s on one of those cloudy Sundays that he does ask her if she’s stopped. He braves the look she gives him when his question comes as a hushed stutter. The comfort between them no longer feels tentative. It’s just there. Ever-present as the sky above.
“Well, you haven’t,” she whispers in response, propping her elbow up on the back of the pew. It’s as if she believes it could be so simple, but it’s not. Not for either of them.
The spiels of Heaven and Hell won’t reach her, so he doesn’t bother with those. She offers him an invitation with her words and the way she remains so open that it’s difficult not to take.
It’s been months since he touched her last and the love has only seemed to have grown. Strange. Perhaps he is as odd as she’s imagined him to be. There have been weddings in this very church, talks of long years of courtship, and even then what those men must have felt for their brides had to have paled in comparison to this. It had to.
“Tell me how to,” he breathes without any underlying thought. Saints don’t question their gods, they only serve them.
“You’re actually considering it…?”
“I might.”
The silence crowds around the bench while her fingers brush over the pages of a hymnal in repetition and his only inch closer to her clothed knee.
“You could meet me at the cemetery tonight… We could talk more there.”
“At night is probably not the best time.”
“Well, we’re friends, aren’t we?”
Friends don’t kiss. Friends don’t feel the way he feels now, or how he’s felt for the past few months. Platonic arrangements don’t require repentance. But, he bites his tongue and tilts his head back, lets it roll off the shoulder when his hand draws back to his lap. Another time.
Not where the Heavenly Father could see, if he were even watching any longer.
“… Tomorrow morning would be better.”
“Then I’ll come get you. Don’t you dare try and get out of it,” she chirps with the wildest glint of mirth alight in her eyes.
Stay.
If the church caught fire now and the rafters came to sink into the earth not a part of him would or could even care as long as she were just here. But he watches her go without a word of opposition, watches her nod toward the sisters standing out in the yard and clasp her hands in front of her, smiling to herself as though the world were made for just the two of them.
It stings during nightly prayer, and it burns when he lies in bed to wait for the morning. There are cicadas singing and footsteps on old wooden boards to remind him that he isn’t entirely alone, the scent of tobacco drifting from his window when another plaster saint hides beyond the veil of night to smoke. He doesn’t sleep, his eyes remain fixed upon the ceiling until the darkness of the room drifts to a dull gray with the sun’s slow rise.
And König does not wait for her to fetch him. Morning prayer dissolves into a mournful cry because there is no part of him that can fathom or interpret any of this. A trial should not feel like a blessing when he’s faced with it. God must be playing the stupidest game imaginable to test him with someone so lovable, so charming. Where the church leaves him feeling filthy with remorse, she purifies him with only a curl of her lips and starlight dancing in her eyes.
None of it is fair.
The guilt must be something obligatory, summoned up like puffs of dust from the floorboards. Worshiping idols is a sin, but it’s not the angel that feels like one, it’s the attention he pays to the cloud in his head that does. That’s the one that should go.
He grits through prayer with the other men, doesn’t chime in with unnecessary words of devotion this time. The coffee burns his tongue when he downs the mug and forgoes breakfast. There are dark rings beneath his eyes when he ventured to the washroom to brush his teeth, and there are whispers in the halls that the young priest must be either coming under a possession or God is preparing him for something. Something big and exciting. He ignores those and the stern glances from the little nuns in their robes, huffs something of a joke about a momentary sabbatical when he lumbers out of the walls of the church.
There are no new bruises this time, but König has the memory of the last ones stuck in his skull. A clear image of four small marks on the side of her neck, another on its opposite. Larger, more pronounced. Five marks from a hand that never belonged there. Kerosene and a match are what the thoughts running rampant in his head would look like to an outsider.
She tells him on the thin picnic blanket that she’s got a new client, that he gives her enough to where she doesn’t have to consider any others now. The man has a much stranger set of interests, ones she hadn’t delved into before him, but she’s merciful enough to withhold the details that would lead König to make the crucifixion seem a gentle affair.
She tells him because she wants him to be proud that it’s only one now. That she’s making some sort of progress for him. None of it is fair, and he knows without asking that she feels more akin to the way that he does than any of the holy men.
And still he can’t help but ask, “Do you love him?”
“Of course not,” comes her immediate response, and there’s a near imperceptible glare there, judging by the fire in her eyes. It’s cute… and he feels the world's ugliest fool for daring to ask for reassurance as though this relationship was any sort of normal. If it were even a relationship at all.
Their hands touch, reaching for the same flaky pastry in the basket she brought along and Heaven’s bells ring out in his ears when her gaze sweeps over him. Everything is sugared dough and right again. She offers him her lap in place of a pillow for his head when the clouds grow thick and gray above, feeds him from her own hand and runs her fingers across his face with the other.
“How did you get the sky in your eyes?,” she asks him, makes him blush so easily his heart stutters within his chest. He feels like a boy in her presence, and in a way, to her, maybe he even is just some inexperienced whelp nipping at her heels.
The angel does not judge, she softly rakes her nails behind his ear and neck until he shivers in her hold. His hair is next, a victim to her comfort as she tousles it between her fingers, strokes him like the smallest of kittens when he feels anything but.
“I don’t know what you mean,” he mutters, raising a hand to brush at her cheek. Warm as he expected, yet softer. There’s nothing wicked here, only a woman. A woman who loves him as he loves her.
“Your eyes are pretty… sad. I love them,” comes the sweet reply that reduces him to nothing but scattered feathers and a howling ache.
Did he even exist before now? Before her? This woman has filled him with such purpose, breathed new life into a stagnant soul. The church was a safe place for a man scorned by the rest of the world, but that blanket felt unnecessary now. He wanted to feel her hands move over him like this, smell the petals in her perfume, hear her voice speak to him, all of it. Forever.
“I think that I lose myself when I’m with you.”
“Does that hurt you?”
“Nein… I’m happier like this.” It’s the closest to a confession he can whisper.
And he returns to her, morning after morning König rushes through paying his dues to God and his men to return to her like this.
When the graveyard is silent and the dew still sticks to the blades of grass, her voice sounds sweeter somehow beneath the glow of the rising sun. The birds sing around them and often she pushes wildflowers into his hair, clasps her hands around his neck and teaches him to kiss.
Her tongue moves with grace, his is only a thing of greed. Each chaste peck is met with a hunger from somewhere so foggy and forgotten it never had a home at all, not before now. The angel needn’t show him where to rest his hands, they pry at every part of her: gentle brushes against her cheek and neck, kneading at her shoulders, further, further until he does finally starve off any lingering thought of what is good or evil to explore the curve of her lower back.
Most of the time words come in afterthought, once lips are wet and plush from this gentle devouring, after she steels herself from running her hands any further down than his stomach. He tells her in truth that he prays to her, not for. Not anymore.
The shadows cast from the aspens keep them tucked far away from sight, from God and his people alike. A temple for two without four walls to close them in. The only place on this earth that he’s ever found himself in perfect solace.
“I want to try something,” she breathes just when he’s prepared himself to leave. The tree at his back, knees parted, where she remains sat across from him. There’s nervousness there, not the fretful way she looks after a long night, nor the way she looked to him upon their first meetings. “Do you trust me?”
“Ja… more than anyone,” he reassures in a soft tone of voice, tipping her chin up with the tips of two fingers to further accentuate it. Her beauty and her uncertainty always strike a chord within him, a fire that never dwindles. When her eyes search his own, his breath catches.
He doesn’t say a word when she peels away the robes from the front of his trousers. Her hands linger on at the waistband for a moment, takes enough time to offer the gentlest peck to the side of his neck before continuing. It’s another first, being exposed to a woman like this when she lowers the band and has him shimmy backward to free his cock from his pants. Soft with shame or embarrassment, a concoction of other things he could not name, but the moment she looks up at him with pure delight he feels himself grow stiff.
“Wow… You’ve got a perfect cock,” she assesses with a laugh, finger running up the length of it as it twitches to life under her touch.
Scheisse.
He strokes her cheek with reverence as she bends down before him, watching him carefully through her eyelashes. Her warm breath drifts over his manhood and he’s already horribly aware that this would not last long. Another lesson, like the kisses, maybe. She could mold him any way that she likes and he would be pleased to play the role of her Adam.
The tongue isn’t what he anticipated. She flattens it against the tip, breathes a laugh when a keening whine is pulled from his throat. To see such an ugly, vulgar thing pressed to the beautiful mouth he’s kissed a dozen times now. It feels wrong. There’s no hesitation when her lips wrap around him. And then all of it— everything is just right. Every moment spent in this hazy, loving glow with her is right. If Hell were to come from this, then let it.
He can’t tear his eyes away from her, can’t bring himself to speak when he feels the way his cock hits the back of her throat, feels her swallow around him and make such a pleased noise as she wraps her fingers around the expanse she can not take.
Its pitiful, the way he must look: mouth agape, eyes lidded and heavy… He brings a hand to her hair, and runs his fingers through it as if she isn’t letting him fuck her mouth, but rather in the midst of something far holier, softer. Sacrilegious or divine. If God we’re watching, let him.
She pulls back a little, an obscene, wet sound in answer when her mouth is drawn back enough to merely press a kiss the tip, puffy lips glossy with drool. “Is this okay…? Not too much?”
“You are so pretty… it feels… just keep going.” His voice no longer possesses any feigned confidence, it begs like a wounded thing, chanting, “Bitte. Please…”
His hips tilt up when she parts her lips again, all trepidation be damned. This is something, something he’s aches for and never had the chance to feel. All of the ache, the longing to be diminished, to unite with the angel who fled Heaven for him. The cock pushes at her open mouth, smears thick beads of precum over her cheek, before she takes him in again with a delighted, muffled sound. Her soft mouth, the tongue that thoroughly laps at his shaft and follows her movements to wrap and suck at the head. Otherworldly, and… unfathomably bittersweet.
Her lips suction around him, the movements of her wrist only increasing, and with the second roll of his hips he feels his stomach begin to tense as pure heat rolls its way through him. A gentle coursing becomes a blinding inferno in mere seconds, and regrettably, instinctively, that hand so gently combing through her hair comes to snare it instead and force her down further.
His soft grunts and low pleading morph to something choked and almost agonized. It’s the purest rapture, a pleasure so absolute his eyes prick as he bows lower to cover over her as she swallows his devotion by mouth. The angel pants breathlessly when she pulls away with saliva and semen still stringing them together, cleansed by his thumb tracing over her lips, replaced so swiftly by his own mouth. The kiss is so chaste it feels misplaced here, but she nuzzles against him in this comedown from ecstasy, doesn’t even chastise how he lasted a mere two minutes.
And he vows, vows in the sweetness of her comfort and love that no one else will ever have this again.
— — —
Abstaining from meals during a fast is a struggle in and of itself; abstaining from her is some long-forgotten circle of Hell.
It’s not avoidance, but a necessity.
To think that his first sexual encounter would provoke days of concern, a wistful daydream about a future he never would have thought to have had otherwise. There was a desperate, starving desire to repent when he first arrived home after that, but nothing that a bottle of communion wine and a cold shower could not wash away. Repentance has lost its merit to him.
And after seven days, he’s perfectly aware of what he must do. To absolve them both from things where atonement seems far from a necessity at all. He folds his holy robes and leaves them on the bed in the room too small, set neatly next to his Bible. The rosary was the one thing that König could not bear to part with. The beads, red and shimmery, were chosen and strung together with him in mind. It’s slipped into the pocket of his jeans after the plain, black t-shirt is pulled over his head.
There’s a hammer in his gloved hand, and he doesn’t recall where he found it. Lying with its head rusted in the churchyard, perhaps half buried beneath the soil. Some of the other clergymen are talented at fixing things, but König’s never been very good with that. His first rosary was broken with a careless slip of his fingers, and he’s shattered more porcelain than he could count on accident.
Even communion wine can be a bit too strong, sometimes. Or maybe that’s only when the bottle’s been entirely downed. He’ll blame one of his betters when the stock is counted and one turns up missing, if they bother to come seek him out again at all.
The motel is dead at this hour, so late into the night. The few normal visitors have already been accounted for with watchful eyes, and the angel waits in one of the rooms on the second floor. He imagines the laces on her lingerie, the healing bruises on her throat, and that sweet expression upon her face. Or maybe that one was reserved solely for him. He prayed… no, he hoped so.
After tonight, there would be no more mercies for him. Or perhaps there would be an abundance, blessings from the vultures and the wolves and the maggots he would feed. New gods that were still far lesser than the angel who suffers men in sheets, but only looks to him with love.
And he doesn’t have to wait long, because the demon finds his way here with haste. Does he come here every night looking as proud as he does now? His attire even resonates with death, black with those white details, a costume that seems so fitting for one about to meet the very face he wears.
Killing someone isn’t so easy. Cain murdered his brother with a rock, described in such loose detail that one would think a playful throw led to Abel’s end. But it’s not so, not when the victim is hellbent on living.
The demon is smaller, but strong. He’s been in situations like this before, doesn’t have to spit the words to tell König so. They’re felt with each blow, with the sharp edge of the knife this bastard manages to dig into his side. Just barely, before it’s jerked out of his hand and thrown several paces away. The skittering across the tarmac is enough to chant doom.
There’s blood. More with the first strike of the hammer. It seemed so much easier in thought rather than practice. In his imaginings, the head would split with the first fall like an overripe apple, crumple in and the breath would leave the demon in an instant. Instead, it’s dozens. Blow after blow while the smaller man struggles below him.
A strange catharsis comes over him when his soul grows murky, when his hands are slick and the struggle comes to an abrupt end. The sobering only comes when he’s spent an hour driving down the most forested roads to find a place to dump the body. There’s no tact to it, laying a man to rest in shrubbery and dirt. With a head so collapsed it’s hard to think of this as a man at all. A corpse, something no longer simply human.
König does not pray for him when he rests the hammer in the deceased’s hands. Does not offer it more than a passing thought when he peels away back toward home. The deed is done and he’s free of those horrid burdens tainting his heart, keeping him held back on a short leash to divinity.
Like fate, she’s found out in the garden again after the bloodied shirt and stained gloves are discarded. The wound is patched with what he could find available, a hastily tied strip of gauze covers his side. A week or so at best until the gash would heal into an ugly, jagged scar. It seemed even a bastard devil’s blade couldn't be sharp enough to fell a Goliath when he’s caught by surprise and horny.
He feigns merely emptying the garbage into an outside bin, plays off the sting of the gash with a humble, lumbering gait. She beams up at him through lines of tears running down the sides of her face like small, silver streams beneath the darkened sky above.
He’s not a saint anymore, no… a guardian angel. The archangel Michael with his sword set ablaze and divinity scrawled into every scale of his chest plate. Something holy and glowing, unsullied and beautiful.
Like her.
“You’re crying…”
“Sorry… bad night. Client just ghosted me.”
No. This was good, couldn’t she see that? All the sleepless nights, the prayer and the constant, overwhelming longing. Everything he had suffered for her, and still she only comes to him with the thought of that horrible thing in mind.
“He’s dead.” Maybe it was just the fear of a loss of money. He had enough saved up someplace, and the collection pool would be beneficial enough to pivot them towards a new life. No church. No lonely motel. He had to test it, give her a trial and hope that she did not simply break.
The look that crosses her face is one of confusion… Then comes a strange twist of relief. Her mouth falls slightly agape and her arms squeeze slightly around his middle.
“We just spoke a few hours ago. How…?” Finally, suspicion.
Maybe he’s too drunk on playing God now to care, to realize this isn’t how a good man would have handled things. The only thing that holds any weight, that resonated with him any at all is the thought that he loves her, that he will protect her until his dying breath, pray at her feet and anything else she might ask.
That’s what pulls him to press her down against the bed of the truck, to kiss her with every lesson she’s blessed him with in mind. Tongue and teeth, fire and spit, she accepts all of it. She doesn’t beg him for an answer: she’s seen the worst of men, taken cocks far less deserving. Her hands find his hair as they drift away here, gives the strands a sharp tug to usher him closer, roll her tongue against his own.
The sheer tights she wears beneath her skirt are ripped at the seam between her legs by large hands, panties pushed to the side before she finally presses against the broad chest against her to gain some space. Her breath is shallow, face warmed and hair a mess, still the loveliest thing he’s ever laid his eyes upon.
“Are you afraid?” He tilts his head to the side, curious, as if there were no reason for her deny him of this now after he had just *killed for her*. After he forsook what once was all he knew all for her. He would do it again without question, with no gain at all, but the sting of rejection was not something he could entirely choke back.
But his angel never runs out of mercies, it seems.
“No… just give me a second.”
She slips her hand down between her parted legs, demonstrates for him just how to prepare a woman. He watches, mesmerized, as she circles the bud above her slit, dips her finger downward to spread wetness along her flesh. Dew over petals. A finger slips inside of her, and all at once is shoved aside.
“Let me,” he pleads, already pressing both hands to her inner thighs, tilting her hips upward as his head sinks between them.
“You don’t have to,” she whispers, but grants him his wish with feverish nods that betray her words, allows him to kiss her sex as he shifts himself into a better position.
There’s nothing to go off of but her sounds, the cries of pleasure when his tongue lolls out to lick at the nub where most of her reactions stem from. He mutters against her about her taste, something so ethereal he could not even begin to place. Her scent envelopes him in full, and he’s never felt closer to anything prior. She allows his clumsy licking, moans louder for him when he can’t stifle his own groaning. The pants are too tight around him, and patience is another virtue he finds that he lacks.
She doesn’t reach some fantastical height of pleasure when he presses a finger into her cunt, but her body seems to fit even that like a glove, squeezing around him as he lazily circles her bud with his tongue. She doesn’t come, but she tugs him by the hair to usher him back into another kiss, hands roving down his abdomen to free his manhood from the barriers of fabric. And finally… finally he’s granted entrance to Heaven.
The first thrust leaves him spiraling, lost into a world of silk and honey. And the angel does not give him any time to recover, she writhes beneath him, shifting her hips to pull him in deeper, muffles each whine and groan from his lips with her tongue hungrily lapping over his own.
He’s thought about having a woman many times, but never imagined it could feel this good. To be so complete, every woe or fear cast aside in the act of mindless pleasure.
He doesn’t know where to put his hands, to keep his eyes shut or gaze down at her and cease this assault on his mouth to tell her that he loves her, that she feels like pure fucking paradise and he’s already on the verge of coming undone. He settles for moving, dragging himself in and out of her in slow movements, turning his face away to bite down on her shoulder when the feeling of her walls cinching him like a vise threatens to spur him into finishing on the spot.
“That’s just… god… you’re good at this,” she gasps when a hand is sunk between their bodies, flicking at her clit as he spears her open. Her hands find his back, raking her fingernails down past his shoulder blades. It’s agonizing, trying to fight back the urge to breed her full, watch his come spill out from her perfect cunt until he finds himself hard again. The very thought makes him gasp, grind himself deeper inside of her as her nails dig into his back.
“Mein… this is… you understand…,” he’s babbling, hardly coherent, and she only seems to accept it. The angel chants her agreement amidst the beginning of her rapture.
She cries out for him when she comes, her sex pulsing around him as she shivers that all restraint is immediately lost. She hugs him so tightly, squirms as she hisses a curse into his ear.
It’s a miracle he’s even lasted this long. He halts his pace for a mere second to prop himself up, gaze down at her in absolute reverence before that fire swallows him whole. It’s unceremonious when he comes: a growl and a wail as he buries he face into her neck and pumps every last drop of his seed into her pussy.
He doesn’t want to pull out, doesn’t want to leave such a complete embrace. The world has already ended for him, a long time ago on the very night they met. There’s no need to drag out their ruin with whatever else occurs when she’s out of his grasp.
She strokes over the marks she’s made, gentle, tickling touches of her fingertips and shy giggles when their eyes meet again.
“I thought I would never get to do this with you,” she admits, quiet when her hands drift to cup his jaw instead. “You’re perfect, you know that…?”
He wants to cry, wants to fuck all of his woes away, kneel before her and beg that she find a place where they can never be apart. Steal her away to some cabin up in the Alps, where flowers grow in thick patches on the hillsides, a wild garden of her very own.
“… You should stay with me,” he huffs into her ear, fingers dimpling the flesh of her hips as he tries desperately to force himself closer to her.
“You can’t mean the church,” she giggles. “So where should we go?”
“We can figure that out in the morning, hm?”
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elitadream · 4 months
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"Of all the plants that grow and bloom in the Kingdom, Fire Flowers have always been my favorites," said Peach, as she looked down at the lively specimen she was delicately cradling in her hands. Her eyes were soft and her voice mellow, both filled with a mysterious affection that spoke of something lovely and seemed to make her lovelier still.
Beside her, Mario let out a quiet sigh, his gaze never once leaving her face. He was listening to her every word, curious and impossibly endeared, hoping the princess somehow knew just how much he cherished her company. His love for her deepened the longer he watched her, and his smile was adoring as Peach held the flower closer.
"They are very special and dear to me; Not because of their power or their notoriety, but because of their warmth," she went on, brushing her fingers against its petals in a gentle caress. "They bring an immediate sense of comfort to those around them, and can alleviate one's sadness with their soothing glow. They are said to guide those who are lost, and lift the spirits of those who are tired. They possess tremendous fiery strength, and yet… Unless needed, they are content to simply remain as they are, idle and calm, their inner spark bringing the world a unique and precious light."
She turned to him then, and Mario froze under her stare. The expression that she wore was one of indescribable fondness, sincere and true.
"They remind me of you," she murmured, before ducking her head shyly and averting her eyes again. She was biting her lower lip, her features illuminated by candid mirth, and Mario staggered where he stood despite the grip that he had on the balcony's railing. The dull ache in his chest flared abruptly, seizing him and making it hard to breathe. He felt as through he had just been struck by lightning, his entire body thrumming like a live wire. After a moment, he managed to look away and found his voice again.
"I have seen all the treasures of this land," he rasped. "I have witnessed magic in its purest form, and have been shown wonders I could never even have dreamed of… But none will ever compare to you."
Peach let out a small gasp, her cheeks turning bright pink. They shared another glance, this one longer than the last, and Mario wished the instant could last forever. He was the first one to falter however, and he cleared his throat as his nerves got the best of him.
"I'm… happy that you have kept the flower I've given you," he muttered bashfully, stumbling a bit on the adjective.
"I will never part with it," Peach answered earnestly. She shook her head to further demonstrate her sentiment, giving him a radiant smile as she did, and Mario inwardly winced; trying to rein in his wildly beating heart.
"Sei così bellissima," he whispered waveringly, unable to help himself.
Peach blinked, her usual surprise and delight upon hearing him speak Italian veiled by a cryptic sort of contentment and tenderness this time around. She couldn't understand him, not really, but something in his tone had seemingly given his thought away regardless. And for the first time in a very long time, Mario felt strangely at ease with this notion. If he couldn't bring himself to tell her how he felt, perhaps he could trust the truth to one day reveal itself and finally be freed.
In the meantime though, he would gladly honor all that she saw in him, and continue to be exactly that. A source of warmth and comfort. A tremendous privilege for him, and one that he was more than ready to fulfill.
-
As previously mentioned, I felt like writing a little something for Valentine's Day this year, but I couldn't resist adding a drawing as an afterthought! 🥰 Just a little scene that kept coming back to my mind and which I felt was appropriate for the occasion. Enjoy!^^ 💝
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lucyrose191 · 9 months
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Hi!!! I loved A Shared History so much!! Would you consider writing a prequel of how Sebastian and Reader got together and/or a sequel of their lives after retirement? I love you so much!
A SHARED HISTORY: AFTER RETIREMENT |S.VETTEL
Pairing; Sebastian Vettel x wife!driver!reader
Summary; Sebastian and Y/N try to navigate their new life after retiring from formula one. The world is dying to know what their favourite couple is up to but the next season has already started with no appearance from the Vettels.
No Warnings. Quite long.
F1 Master List , Part 1 , Part 3
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February 2023
It had been 3 months since saying goodbye to the very thing that Y/N lived for, racing had been all she had ever known and leaving it behind had felt like she had left part of herself on the track.
Her decision had been rash, she was still at the height of her career when she walked away. Y/N still felt like she had so much more to give to the sport and so much more to achieve.
Sebastian had embraced this new life he had chosen, he was handling the separation much better than her. There were so many things he had been able to do; there was now a designated area on their land for him to grow all of the crops he desired and he was loving it, he had always had a green thumb and now he had the free time to experiment.
The difference between their circumstances was that Sebastian had been ready to retire, he had lost his spark and found himself having more love for things outside of motorsport but Y/N had still been winning, she was still coming home with a trophy ever other week and was still revelling in the thrill of the high speed battles and being showered in champagne.
But when Sebastian had approached her that one afternoon with an apprehensive look on his face and told her that he was thinking about retiring it felt like the world has stopped spinning for just a moment, a heavy feeling had settled in her chest as he continued to speak.
I just think it’s time for me to say goodbye to the car, it doesn’t give me the thrill that it used to.
There are so many other things that I find myself enjoying more.
It seems selfish of me to stay when I’m not enjoying it, if I stay then I’m denying younger drivers the opportunity to reach their dreams
She remembers the conversation like it was yesterday and not over a year ago, she remembers the million thoughts running through her head all at the same time. She simply stared at the blanket over her lap as he continued to speak, looking at her helplessly as he waited for her to say something, anything to let him know what she was thinking.
But despite all the thoughts running through her head, her mind could only focus on one.
How could she drive without Sebastian there with her?
She had only ever drove in formula one with Sebastian Vettel on the track with her, that’s where met, where they became friends, where they fell in love.
Y/N couldn’t imagine driving without Seb and the more she thought about it over the next few days, few weeks. She didn’t want to drive without Seb.
It was a quick decision, she’d admit that but Y/N had always been impulsive.
She had been watching Britta set up for Seb to make his video that announced his retirement when she blurted out the words nearly sending both of them and herself into cardiac arrest.
I’m retiring with you.
Her words were heavy and had hung thickly in the air as Seb and Britta simply stared at her, not believing what had just left her mouth, quite frankly she wasn’t sure she had believed it either.
But hearing the words aloud she knew it was the right thing, she was six world titles in and at the height of her career but she’d have to say goodbye eventually and why not go out on a high?
She hasn’t told Sebastian about the empty feeling in her chest, a feeling that felt so close to regret, she knew it would only make him feel guilty knowing that it was because of him, she had retired because of him.
What could he do anyways? It was done, she had made her decision and it was too late to take it back now. The 2023 season started in just a few weeks and George Russell was now in her seat, she wasn’t bitter about it because he deserved it, she was maybe just a bit envious.
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May 2023
Y/N groaned as she rested her head against the toilet seat, the nauseating feeling in her stomach remained despite throwing her guts up. The feeling of Sebastian’s hand gently rubbing up and down her back didn’t help the sickness subside either.
"Are you feeling any better?" The German asked his wife so gently, as if fearing if he spoke any other way it would cause her to throw up again.
Y/N merely grunted which have him the answer he needed, he was getting worried, in all the years he had known her he could count the number of times she’d been sick on one hand and yet here she was for the fourth day in a row hunched over the toilet.
"How can I help you?" He asked desperately, hating to see her so weak.
Y/N’s eyes fluttered as she felt the energy drain from her body. "Can I have a hug?" She sluggishly held her arms out towards him, removing her head from its resting positing on the loo only for it to roll into her shoulder. All she wanted right now was comfort.
Sebastian smiled at his wife and lowered hs body to sit on the floor, spreading his legs and holding out his arms to which she immediately crawled into them, curling her body into his and resting her body against his chest, sighing in relief from the immediate comfort she got. Seb wrapped his arms around her and simply held her, he didn’t say anything knowing that his actions were simply enough, if all she needed was a hug then he’d happily provide that for her. Although he was definitely calling the doctor later.
A couple of days later
Sebastian and Y/N walked through the front door of their home, Seb had the biggest smile imaginable on his face due to the news they had just received. Y/N wished she could share the excitement but it was a bit hard when the news was the reason behind the fact she couldn’t even look at food without wanted to throw up all over the place.
Seb looked over to her and seemed to finally noticed the lack of happiness in her expression because for the first time since leaving the doctors his smile finally dropped. "Are you okay, liebe? I thought you wanted this?"
Y/N sighed as she lowered her body into the couch. "I do want this, Seb, I promise. This was our plan after retirement, to start a family. It’s just hard to smile when I feel like my organs are moving around inside of me," she explained, not wanting him to feel like she didn’t want this baby of theirs, she did want it.
They had spoken over the years and had agreed that they wouldn’t have children until Y/N gave up racing because she didn’t want to have to take a break for two years and then come back, they also didn’t to be absent parents.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Sebastian asked, he was feeling really useless having to watch his wife swallow the urge to throw up at the sight of anything and everything as a result of their new found pregnancy.
"A cuppa would be nice," Y/N smiled sweetly at him as she settled herself under a blanket, she looked rough, she knew she did but looking into Seb’s eyes she saw nothing but love for her and the child she was giving him and although she had a million other reasons as to why he was the one for her, in this moment it reminded her just why she married him.
This man had hugged and kissed her without hesitation whilst she was all sweaty at the end of a race and now when she looked like she’d been hit by a bus he still looked at her like he had never seen anything more beautiful.
There were still a million thoughts and worries running through her mind, that lost feeling was still in her gut but she knew that with Sebastian by her side she’d be able to figure everything out, maybe not now but eventually they would be fine.
July 2023
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"And there is your baby," the nurse turned the screen so that Y/N and Seb could see the black and white image of their growing baby. It was already so much bigger than from their last appointment, time was flying so quickly for the pair of them and it was frightening.
Seb had gone to England to see the British Grand Prix and do a small interview with the Sky Grid Kids leaving Y/N in their Switzerland home. He had asked her multiple times to go with him because he didn’t want to leave her alone but she had denied every time.
They were eleven races down in the 2023 season she hasn’t watched a single race, not in person or on the tv. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it, whilst she had many things to occupy her mind with now that they had a baby on the way such as decorating a nursery, building furniture and baby shopping, she was scared of watching a race because she didn’t know how it would make her feel.
She was scared that watching a race would truly make her regret her decision to retire and that was something she didn’t want to feel so whenever Sebastian sat down on a Sunday and turned on the tv, Y/N would get up and go to another room, what she didn’t see was the defeated look on Seb’s face every time she walked out.
Y/N thought she was being subtle but Sebastian always caught the lost, empty looks on her face as she stared out the window. He caught the fake smiles she’d give him when she tried to pretend she was okay and it was breaking him. He wanted his wife back, the one that was filled with energy and humour, it was defeating to see this shadow of a woman in front of him.
He hoped that he could persuade he’d to attend a race with him before the season finished and their child was born because he knew that it wasn’t the actual racing she missed, it was the sport and the atmosphere. Y/N just didn’t know right now that she hadn’t lost that when she chose to retire.
"Are you wanting to find out the gender?" The nurse asked, looking between Y/N and Seb.
Sebastian looked at Y/N with a raised brow to which she nodded causing him to burst into a large smile before turning to the nurse. "We’d love to know."
The nurse looked back at the screen for a moment just to be sure before looking at the couple with a kind smile. "Well then, congratulations you’re having a boy."
Sebastian looked at Y/N in amazement and soothed a hand over her hair, he loved the care free smile of pure delight that was taking over he face. Whilst he himself had been hoping for a girl, she had wanted a boy and as long as she was happy Seb couldn’t find it in himself to be disappointed in the slightest, he was looking forward to having a mini him.
"Oh, thank god. I don’t think I could’ve handled a girl," Y/N laughed, boys were so much easier in her opinion. She had met so many babies in her life and girls were just crazy.
The nurse and Seb both laughed at her words before the nurse asked "I know you suffered quite a lot with morning sickness, has it gotten any better since the last time I saw you?"
Y/N nodded "Way better, now that I’m in my second trimester it’s pretty much disappeared."
Too right it had, Seb thought. As soon as her second trimester hit his wife had turned into a different woman. She was much happier in everything she did and it made him wonder if some of her negative feelings were due to her hormones, he would never ask her though.
What he had noticed though was that as her morning sickness vanished, it had been replaced with something entirely different. Over the last few weeks his wife had turned into- well, a horn dog to put it lightly.
The only way Seb could think of to describe it was that Y/N had turned into a sex maniac, she wanted it all the time and he would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying the new side of her but he was worried he couldn't keep up. What he will say is that he didn't think he would be doing this much cardio after retiring.
August 2023
"Are you okay, liebe?" Sebastian asked in a worried tone, taking notice of the grimace on his wife’s face. The bread dough was long forgotten on the kitchen counter as he turned all of his attention onto her.
"Your son is using my ribs as a football," Y/N sighed, rubbing the side of her stomach where she had felt the kick. She was six months along now and whilst the sickness has gone she was now slowly entering the stage where everything was getting uncomfortable.
Her bump wasn’t overly huge but it was now hardening and it was very clear that she was pregnant, not that anyone outside of their family and the doctors knew.
Seb tried not to show his amusement at her words, he hasn’t failed to notice that whenever the baby did something that she wasn’t overly fond of, their son suddenly became his son.
He never commented on the habit she had picked up because she was going through so much to give him the life he had always wanted. Obviously, she had wanted a family too but for Sebastian it had been his dream, he had always been a family man and now- to have his own, it was still hard for him to believe at times but what he did know was that watching his wife, who he had loved for years, grow their child had only made him fall in love with her more and so he would happily take the blame for the brunt kicks their son forced into her ribs or bladder.
He walked closer to where she was sitting on a bar stool and placed both his hands on the sides of her stomach, caressing it gently, before leaning down and placing a firm kiss over her shirt. He laughed when he felt a force being returned from the inside of her stomach, it felt like a slight nudge, like when Y/N would press her index finger against his lips to shush him whenever he was sprouting anything silly.
"He’s partying in there," Seb looked at her with his cheeky smile.
Y/N scoffed "He’s got two racing drivers for parents, he’s bound to not want to sit still. Honestly, i dont know what we were thinking."
Sebastian nodded "You’ve got a point, this has never happened before has it? God, our son’s going to be all over the place with racing genes coming from both sides. We’re going to have quite the handful."
Y/N hummed in agreement "It’ll be worth it though, I’m glad we retired now, I’m happy with where we are." Over the past few weeks she had found that the gap in her heart had slowly shrunken and barely did she worry about the decision she made, her and Seb were starting a new life together and the love she already had for their unborn son made it clear that she had made the right choice.
September 2023
It was silent between the pair of them as Y/N folded some of Seb’s clothes on the bed, helping him pack his suitcase for his trip to Japan. The approaching Grand Prix had always had a special place in Sebastian’s heart and he had always planned on attending this one.
"You know, you could always come with me," Seb hesitantly broke the silence.
Y/N was seven months pregnant now, all their baby had to do now was grow. Soon, it wouldn’t be safe for her to fly so now was really his last chance to encourage her to attend a Grand Prix. That and he really did not feel comfortable leaving her home alone.
Just as she was about to protest, Seb started speaking again. "Mick will be there, he’s been asking a lot about you and the baby. He said he misses you."
It was a poor move on his part, he’s well aware of the soft spot his wife had for the young German. He hasn’t lied, Mick had been asking about Y/N a lot, he’d been thrilled at learning he’d become an Uncle and had hoped that he’d have the time to fly out to Switzerland to visit but he hasn’t.
Every Grand Prix that Seb had attended since they had found out they were expecting he had been forced to watch Mick’s glances over his shoulder wondering if Y/N was going to appear, he had actually been forced to watch every driver do that, albeit none of the other driver’s knew of the impending Vettel baby.
"Fine, I’ll come," Y/N relented and for a moment her words hadn’t clicked but then Seb froze and looked at her in disbelief.
"Seriously?" He asked, praying she wasn’t pulling his leg.
Y/N nodded. "You’re packing my bag though," she told him.
"Done. Great." Seb smiled widely, still in disbelief that she’d agreed but nonetheless he turned and walked into their closet to get her suitcase to pack it before she had a chance to change her mind.
A couple of days later.
"So, how’s the season gone so far, what have I missed?" Y/N asked Seb from her position on the hotel bed, she should’ve probably asked this question sooner rather than an hour before they left to the track for the race. Seb had went to the qualifying sessions yesterday but she had chosen to stay behind, no one knew that she had been here for the weekend or that she would be ah the track today.
Seb sighed "Well, at the beginning of the season RedBull was dominating with Fernando getting a few podiums but then it was Max dominating and everyone else pretty much a lap behind but now the McLarens have seriously improved with their upgrades and are closer than anyone else even though there’s still a large gap."
Y/N was glad that RedBull was winning again, they hadn’t really since her and Seb left the team in 2014 but now they were back and better than ever. "What about the Mercedes?" She asked, wondering how her team of six years were doing without her, she had won five of her titles with that team.
Seb grimaced at her question. "Not very good if I’m being honest."
"What!?" Y/N looked at him shocked. "How?"
"There car hasn’t been as good as it could be and they aren’t used to not winning so there’s been a bit of tension within the team, especially with Lewis. He said some things he probably shouldn’t have and the media isn’t really helping. Mick told me that there’s a lot of people saying that it’s not a coincidence that you’re not there and now they’re not winning."
"I definitely did not miss the media since I’ve been away from the track," Y/N said.
"Well, I just run away from them," Seb said when a cheeky smile.
Y/N looked at him deadpanned "I’m seven months pregnant, I can hardly run with this stomach in the way."
"We’ll speed walk," Sebastian shrugged, trying not to laugh as his wife rolled her eyes at him.
Suzuka circuit
"This was not a good idea! Why did you have to pick the lowest possible car? You’re going to have to help me out." Y/N huffed, the car was so low to the ground and the seats were so deep that there was no way for her to get out because her stomach was in the way.
Sebastian burst into high pitched chuckles as he saw her the and move forward in her seat, he had already been spotted and could see a few cameras waiting near the entrance for him but he was sure they had no idea that Y/N was in the passenger seat.
Still chuckling, he got out of the car and worked his way round to the other side, ignoring the cameras that were recording him. He opened the passenger door and tried to bite down his laughter when he met Y/N’s unimpressed face, he held out his hands for her to take and pulled her up and out of the car.
As soon as she stepped out they both heard the gasps and murmuring from fans and media workers, not just at the sight of Y/N but also the baby bump she had. "You ready?" Seb whispered.
Y/N took a deep breath and nodded "Ready." She told him.
Sebastian didn’t let go of her hand once as they made their way towards the entrance, they ignored the cameras and questions but smiled politely and couldn’t help but laugh at some of the excited fans that had spotted them.
As soon as they got into the paddock it was crazy, every garage they walked past, they were greeted and spoke to by mechanics and engineers that were over the moon the two were here.
Sebastian led the way to the RedBull garage and as soon as they stepped inside they were crowded, bombarded with ‘congratulations’ and other sweet messages before eventually people got back to their jobs.
Christian Horner soon found them and embraced them with a welcoming smile, his two prodigies that had pretty much up started RedBull in formula one. "It’s good to see you, Seb," he said before turning to Y/N "And you, it’s good to have you back, finally."
Y/N was feeling all sorts of happiness being back at the track and she was glad she came, or glad that Seb had persuaded her to come. "It’s good to be back," she replied.
"Congratulations on the baby, I’m really happy for you both. God, Seb, you’ve kept this under wraps," Christian looked between the two in disbelief.
"We’ve enjoyed the privacy and going through it without the interruptions," Seb said for the pair of them and Christian understood, it was easier without the extra stress.
"Hey! Heard there was a baby Vettel in the garage!" Daniel barged into the place, loud and drawing attention to himself as usual.
Y/N smiled as he wrapped her into a bear hug before placing his hands on her stomach "my god, they weren’t joking. Congratulations guys!"
"Thanks Daniel," Y/N laughed.
"I didn’t know Seb had it in him to procreate"
Sebastian scoffed as everyone around them laughed at his expense. "It didn’t take long," he smirked as everyone laughed more. Y/N rolled her eyes at his witty response.
"It’s good to have you back, it’s like you fell off the face of the Earth! Seb kept saying you were doing good and that you were fine but i didn’t believe him, I was worried. Turns out he was right, you’ve been having lots of fun," Daniel eyed her baby bump with an amused smirk.
Y/N lightly slapped his arm at his words, she truly hadn’t expected anything different from Daniel.
"So, who’re you supporting? Me?" He asked.
Y/N shook her head "Honestly, I’m just here to get out of the house, I haven’t been watching so i dont know what the cars are like but I heard Lando was doing good which I’m looking forward to seeing."
Daniel looked at her offended "I see how it is, he was always your favourite."
"That’s not true!" Y/N laughed, "Kimi was my favourite but he left and then I hated everyone," she joked.
"You know I thought it wasn’t a coincidence that you left only a year after! I have Kimi to blame then," Daniel replied.
"Anyways, are you happy to be back in the car?" Y/N asked.
Daniel nodded "Very, the break was nice but the car is where I belong."
"Well, I’m glad your back at it," she told him before he left back to AlphaTauri to get prepped.
Y/N turned to Seb who was watching her with a smile, happy that she was happy. "Can we go to the Mercedes garage for a bit before the race?"
"Of course, whatever you want," Seb replied, they both waved goodbye to the team before leaving and heading two garages down to the Mercedes garage.
It seemed that the team had been waiting for her because as soon as she stepped in the mechanics all cheered for her, the atmosphere buzzing as the team was happy to have their star driver back in the garage.
Y/N saw Lewis was already in his car and walked over, she crouched down even though it was a struggle but she braced herself on the side of his car, he slid his visor up so he could look her in the eyes.
She reached her hand inside and grabbed his "Are you doing good?" She asked.
Lewis nodded "It’s been a rough season so far but we’re getting better, it’s good to have you here." His voice was muffled under his helmet.
"Yeah? I’m glad you’re doing good, how’s George as a teammate?" She asked, looking at him softly.
"He’s great. Not as good as you of course but he’s a great driver, you made the right call choosing him." Lewis said.
Y/N smiled "That’s good, I’m glad I didn’t sabotage you."
"No, no. Might need some of your good luck though," Lewis eyes crinkled to show he was smiling inside his helmet.
"I’ll try my best," She told him before letting go of his hand and using his car to stand back up. "Have a good race, I’ll be cheering you on."
She turned and found Seb a short walk away, talking to Mick although his eyes were trained on her, making sure she was okay and didn’t need any help. She pointed over to where Toto was sitting in front of a few screens to show him where she was going and he nodded.
She walked up behind her old boss and placed her hands on his shoulders causing him to jump, he looked over his shoulder and once he saw it was her he smiled and removed his headphones. "Y/N! It’s good to see you," he turned around in his seat and wrapped one of his arms around her in greeting.
"It’s good to see you as well," Y/N told him. "How’s everything?"
"It’s okay, could be better but could certainly be worse," Toto replied.
"I heard things hadn’t been too great but I’m glad to know they’re improving," She said.
"Barely," Toto scoffed.
"Well, improvement is still improvement," she said.
"I guess it is, congratulations on the pregnancy by the way!" He nodded towards her bump.
"Thank you," She said, brushing a hand over her stomach. "I don’t want to distract you but I’ll be around"
Toto nodded at her words before turning back to the monitors in front of him.
She was getting a bit tired now and made her way over to Seb and Mick who were still conversing, Seb wrapped his arm around her waist when he felt her at his side but continued his talk.
Mick soon turned to her, glancing at her stomach before looking back up at her. "It’s good to see you again, Y/N. Im glad you finally made time for me" he teased.
Y/N shrugged "How does the saying go? Always save the best for last."
Mick smiled and nodded "How long until my nephew’s here?" He asked quietly, knowing that only family knew the gender.
"Two months, they can’t go by quick enough," Y/N replied, leaning her head on Sebastian’s shoulder as she felt all of the socialising start to take a toll on her body. The race hadn’t even started yet.
"Where are you two watching the race?" Mick asked.
Y/N shrugged and looked at Seb.
"We can watch from here?" He proposed.
"I don’t care as long as I can sit down," she replied honestly and Seb nodded before Mick turned and showed them where they could go and sit down.
Y/N sighed as she felt the pressure disappear from her feet the moment she sat down. "You okay, liebe?" Seb asked from beside her.
She nodded "Yeah, I’m just tired," she told him.
"Are you glad you came?" He asked, knowing she had been resigned about it.
Y/N hummed "Yeah, I needed this. Thank you for persuading me to come. I know I’ve been a pain lately."
Sebastian soothed his hand over the side of her face "Don’t worry about it, liebe. I’m just glad you’re okay."
"I love you," Y/N told him.
"Ich liebe dich auch," Seb replied before he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips.
2 months later
Y/N looked down at her son, who was resting against her chest, in awe. She could not believe the life she was living now.
He was utterly perfect, he looked exactly like his father and she couldn’t find it in herself to be mad about it.
Y/N looked up at her husband who stood beside the hospital bed, his hand was resting over their son’s blonde curls but he was looking at her like she was the most gorgeous sight he had witnessed, even with her messy hair and sweaty face from giving birth. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple and sighed. "I love you so much," he whispered.
"I love you more," She replied.
Seeing the sparkle in Sebastian’s eyes as he looked between her and their son, his family, she knew she had made the right decision in retiring.
The baby in her arms was everything to her, so much more than racing could’ve ever been and it was all thanks to Seb.
She couldn’t have done it without him.
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mvltisstuff · 9 months
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going, going, gone pt. 2 - c.f
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summary: y/n leaves to do what susannah always wanted for her boys.
conrad fisher x conklin!reader
a/n: gif is not mine, but i was so so happy to see how much everyone loved part one!! i’ve never had to tag people, but i will try and do that at the end of the story <3 this is also not following the books, that i haven’t read because i’m the worst reader 😭
y/n stood on the opposite side of susannah’s bed, visiting her in boston after she was waiting to see her girls. her connection to laurels daughters was always something susannah felt from the moment they were born. she always wanted girls of her own, but she was still blessed with her two sons.
belly was sitting on the bed, a bright blue dress as susannah looked into her eyes. laurel had gone out to run errands for her friend, so the girls had stayed with susannah.
it was clear that her condition was declining, and rapidly. her face didn’t have the usual sunshine look, and she appeared weaker than y/n and belly were ever used to. her skinny hands trailed to theirs and wrapped together. her touch went from a warm comfort to as light as a feather. somehow, through the cloudy day, the sun poked through and her angelic smile blessed the girls.
“i’ve been missing you so much,” susannah grinned, placing a hand on belly’s thigh and grabbing y/n’s hand with the other. “i’m so glad you came to see me. i needed to see you girls.”
the look on belly’s face was almost coated with uncomfortableness, her naïve self not used to seeing people in this condition. y/n didn’t want susannah to see her fall apart in her grasp, so she made herself blend with tranquility.
the time had passed where they wanted to attempt to save susannah. now, they knew it was only a matter of time until they lost her. they may not have physically lost susannah, but they lost the spark in her a long time ago.
“the boys love you, you know,” she tells belly, and then turning her head to y/n. “both of you.”
“i know,” y/n replies, seeing belly trying to find the right words.
“promise me something?” she asks, looking at belly who’s head perks up. “look after them for me.”
“you’re going to do that yourself,” belly remarks barely over a whisper, moments away from letting the dam break. y/n’s cried enough tears for susannah, but somehow they don’t seem to stop. watching her whole family experience this grief makes her feel less alone, but seeing her baby sister fall apart is near unbearable.
she watched as belly crumpled on the bed into susannah’s arms, and her once warm grasp felt lighter than ever.
ever since her death, y/n wants to look at belly the same. her actions make it so hard. she promised susannah to take care of her boys, and she failed. she let jeremiah sit around knowing he wasn’t the one she truly wanted. afterwards, she made conrad watch in heartbreak her new self with jeremiah.
that scares y/n, knowing that she’ll never truly be able to pick between them. in the long run, no matter who she “picks”, she’s hurting more people than she thinks.
she figures the best thing she can do is be there for conrad, as belly and jeremiah don’t think it’s necessary.
as she drove further and further away, the music she normally sings to turned into static. conrad would probably still be in cousins, not wanting to face his family back in boston. the traffic had quieted down, for people would be home with their families.
she pulled up the the house that had gotten it’s life back before julia took it all away. conrad and y/n were the main ones trying to save the house from being invaded by another family. even if they couldn’t, the cousins house would always have the fisher’s name on it. when y/n walked up to the front door, she slowly turned the doorknob and stepped in.
her footsteps lightly echoed due to the emptiness of the house, some of the front rooms still looking lifeless. y/n walked around, picturing everything exactly how susannah had it, all the portraits and loving decor she had around. she knew, though, that’s how conrad will set everything up.
the sun was just starting to dip down below the horizon, and when she spotted conrad sitting with his feet dipped in the pool, he looked lower than the sun ever could get.
she quietly stepped out onto the back, not saying a word until he noticed her. his head slowly tilted around, feeling her sweet eyes burning through him. he felt more relieved. she’s the only person he wants to see. she’s the one person who hasn’t ripped his heart out and used it.
“what are you doing back?” he questions, keeping his collected expression.
“i didn’t think you really wanted to be alone. you can’t fool me, conrad,” she smirks softly, moving over to sit next to him on the edge of the pool. she dips her feet into the cool water, not yet graced by the hot summer air.
“i don’t need you to be here for me, i don’t think i’m too good of company right now.”
“i think that’s exactly why you need me,” y/n says as conrad looks back to her. he’s always noticed y/n’s beauty on the outside, but he never got to really appreciate the inside. her mind was just as beautiful as her hair when the wind blows it, or the dimples on her cheeks when she’s happy. “you don’t have to do this alone, you know.”
“yeah,” he sighs, swaying his feet in the pool. “i thought jere would at least help me.”
“i talked to belly,” y/n tells him, seeing him quickly freeze and lean his head back.
“it’s not a big deal, y/n, really,” conrad says.
“it is to me. i never thought of her like this, but i don’t understand how she could do that to you.”
“it’s a me problem, clearly jeremiah’s better than i am.”
“that’s not true. belly’s young and thinks she’s innocent. she doesn’t deserve someone like you. she’ll never take the time to know you, but she’s going to jeremiah because he’s ‘easier’.” y/n replies. “you’re perfectly fine the way you are, and you never have to change for her, or me.”
“my mom always saw me with belly. i think that’s the worst part.”
“but your mom didn’t see what belly’s done to you. susannah would never want you to change in order to be with her.” y/n says, clearly to him. “susannah asked belly to be there, and she failed.”
“what do you mean?”
“when belly and i went to visit, she asked us to take care of you and jeremiah. belly barely looked after you, and i don’t even know if she’s helping jeremiah.”
“i get it, though. i left her at prom, and broke her heart.”
“was it shitty of you? yes, i’m not gonna lie to you. at this point, she’s taking it too far by playing with you and now it’s jeremiah’s turn.”
“maybe my mom was wrong,” he looks away, connecting his eyes back with the minute waves in the water. “i miss her. she was like a breath of fresh air, and i feel like i haven’t gotten that since she died.”
“she’s still here,” y/n tells him, seeing the corner of his mouth turn up a bit.
“i still feel her sometimes. if i’m home and i hear a noise, i’ll think she’s cooking, or painting. i don’t need people to see me fall apart.”
“you never have to hide, conrad. not anymore, and not from me.”
the next time he locks eyes with y/n, he can majorly see the sincerity in her face. there’s still a hint of when they were young in their eyes, memories swimming back into conrad’s head. every time she talked to him, all the time she spent with him. every party she skipped because conrad didn’t feel up to it, and she didn’t want him to be alone. he never felt nervous around y/n the way he did with her sister. they always had a complex relationship, but never once did y/n fail to be next to him. conrad let his inch closer to y/n’s, letting her hand lay on top of his, leaving solace in him. he never noticed how soft her hands were, literally and figuratively. she never once used him and glued his pieces back together. it’s then that he realizes that’s something belly never did.
impulsively, he moves his body more toward y/n, trying to get all the gladdening she can give. she’s more than happy to give it to him, letting conrad hold onto her and have her help him. the world around the boy became lighter, almost forgetting about his former despondency caused by belly. the closer he got to y/n, the more he thought that his mother had mistaken belly for the one.
he brushes a stand of y/n’s hair behind her ear, placing his hand on the side of her neck. she breathes lightly, knowing what conrad wants from her, but not knowing if he needs it.
“conrad,” she whispers, his name coming across incredibly from her lips. “you know i love you.”
“of course,” he says back, his hand trailing down her arm.
“but i won’t be a redemption because you cannot have belly. i’ve been the second choice once and i destroyed myself. i won’t do it again.”
“belly’s not who i want. i don’t think i’ve ever loved belly the way i have for you.” it all felt so sudden, the tension growing thicker between them as conrad only wanted to deepen the connection. y/n was just so horrified of hurting him more. she knows that she could help him and love him how he should, but she needs to know that he’s not just trying to get belly back.
“i think we need time, conrad. please?” she asks, and he nods, slipping his hand back down and grabbing her hand. “but trust me when i say that’s it’s not over with us.”
the meaning behind her words is stronger. in reality, she just wants to dive into conrad and accept anything he has to give, but he needs to strengthen his own heart first. he needs to know what he wants. if y/n needs time, he will wait for her.
tags: @historygeekqueen @am-i-shit-or-am-i-the-shit @celesteblack08 @parkerdayaa @shelby-x
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dilatorywriting · 1 year
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Monster Mayhem: Donkeys & Dragons
Gender Neutral Reader x Malleus Draconia Word Count: 3.0k
Summary: In which your friends are idiots who think gallivanting around a haunted castle surrounded by lava is a great idea. And then there's a dragon.
ie. Or, I watched Shrek this afternoon and could not stop thinking about the memes of the Prefect being Donkey and Malleus as the Dragon.
[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4] [EPILOGUE]
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‘Treasure beyond your wildest dreams!’ Ace said.
‘Knowledge long since lost to time!’ Deuce corrected.
‘Yeah, okay, but what is it,’ you asked.
And neither of them had an answer.
Abandoned castles suspended over a sea of bubbling lava were not your preferred holiday destination. You’d told Ace this several times. You’d begged, pleaded, to please just be normal for once. But noooo. Both the snarky, ginger, bastard and the other half of his singular brain cell had apparently decided that suicide ala boiling rocks sounded like a perfectly lovely plan for your Saturday evening.
“I’m just saying,” you huffed as the rope bridge swung worryingly beneath your feet, “taverns are a thing. Faires. Market runs. Casual side quests that won’t wind up with us being flambeed alive.”
“But there’s treasure!” Ace complained, the muddled light off the lava below illuminating his pout in a way that made it look especially punchable. “I heard there’s this really awesome magical sword! Or maybe it was a shield or something—”
“Or something,” you grit out. “What if it’s a book, huh? You can’t even read.”
“We can try!” Deuce returned, a spark of that familiar determination zipping through his blue eyes.
“Or we can sell it,” Ace said, which was certainly the more likely option of the two.
One of the rickety, wooden, slats cracked beneath the low heel of your boot and tumbled down into the lava below. Maybe it hit the gurgling pool of death with a hiss, or a whump, or some other cool sound. But all you could hear was the ringing in your ears.
“Oh my god. I’m going to die.”
“I mean, maybe,” Ace shrugged. “But at least you’ll have a cool new sword propped up at your grave or something.”
You managed to make it all the way to the other side of the horrible death bridge without plummeting to your doom. Except now you were standing at the foot an equally horrifying castle. It was massive—grand on a scale that seemed entirely impossible for something constructed in the heart of a volcano. Its dozens of ebony spires clawed at the sky. The walls crawled with grey ivy and thickets of thorns so dense that you couldn’t see even the barest hint of brick beneath. It looked evil in the way that cursed tombs felt evil—eternal, and still, and oppressive. Like a creature in its own right rather than just an agglomeration of black stone.
Ace drew his sword and Deuce readied his axe. You sighed and plucked at the strings of your stupid fucking lute, and wished once more that you’d had the foresight all those moons ago to take the cushy internship position Lord Crewel had tried to offer you. But, no. You’d wanted to be an adventurer.
The massive double doors of the entrance swung open with an eerie groan. A pair of stern looking gargoyles stood guard as the three of you cautiously made your way into the castle. You swore you could feel their eyes following you—that you’d seen them flex jagged claws into their stone perches in an aborted attempt to dive after you.
The inside of the looming fortress was no more welcoming than out. Dark, emerald, stained glass windows lined the walls—smothering any of the warmer light from the volcano and tinting the entire hall a sickly green-grey. The stone floors and walls were elaborately carved with the faded stories of dynasties long since passed, but what had once surely been immaculate craftsmanship had shifted and cracked with age—crushing floors into tight slopes and littering already narrow walkways with heavy debris.
“We just have to find the tallest tower,” Ace hummed, swiping at a few dangling trails of thorns with the blunted edge of his blade. “And then the highest room in that.”
“The treasure is never in the highest room in the tallest tower,” you complained. “You just heard that in a drinking song once.”
“Is that true?” Deuce frowned, looking terribly betrayed.
“No way!” Ace snipped. “I told you! An old crone read my fortune in her bone dice, and she said to always check the highest room in the tallest tower! Because that’s where I’d find my greatest treasure!”
“Maybe the greatest treasure is the friends we’ve made along the way?” Deuce suggested helpfully.
“No.”
So you split off from a grouchy Ace and dejected Deuce to try and find some stairs. Every room in this stupid castle was swimming in so many shadows that you could hardly tell right from left, let alone if there were any kinds of secret doors or passageways that may lead to an equally secret tower. The chamber you’d found yourself in now was gigantic, and each tentative step you took echoed discordantly through the ashy gloom. You kicked miserably at a loose rock and it skittered off into the darkness with a dull thunk. And then something… odd, began to happen. That darkness began to move—to rise and unfurl like a great set of wings on a beast. And—oh. Oh no.
“Would you look at that,” Ace whistled under his breath, neck craned all the way back as he squinted at what was most definitely the tallest of all the towers this creepy castle had to offer. “Guess what, nonbelievers. I found the—”
“DRAGON!”
Whoosh went the great swathe of emerald fire as it exploded down the barren hallway and nipped at your heels. You dove out into the open courtyard just in time to avoid being roasted alive, and the gargantuan monster behind you let out a roar fit to shake the earth. A quick tuck-and-roll left you crouched behind a fallen pillar, and the dragon’s bright, green, glower turned on you and your garbage hiding spot with a rumbling snarl. Its rows of sharp, white, teeth closing just above your head—missing its mark by barely a hair’s width.
“Gotcha!” Deuce snarled, his armored fists dragging the dragon away by its tail. Or, well, tried to. Because the dragon was a hundred feet long at least, and your blue haired friend probably looked like nothing more than a pesky rat darting between its feet. It turned and snapped at him irritably, taking a great, big, step forward in a bid to get a firmer stance to attack. You threw yourself in the other direction to avoid being trampled.
“Go!” Ace called, charging in from the other side. “Quick!”
Because at the end of the day, they were still both your brave, tanky, warrior, friends. And you were just a very, very, squishy bard who really would not fare well against a particularly motivated goose, let alone a dragon. So you skidded through the rubble and onto your feet, and started to sprint back into the castle’s halls—hoping maybe you’d be able to find a bit more cover.
There was a great clatter, and both Ace and Deuce yelped. You looked back hurriedly to see the pair of them clutching onto the dragon’s tail for dear life as it whipped them back and forth through the ash and debris cluttering the ground. With one, final, great, sweep, the dragon pitched them into the air and sent them careening through the roof of that ‘tallest tower.’ You muttered a hasty incantation and the sparkling outlines of soft feathers danced along your fingers. You hoped you weren’t too far. You were probably too goddamn far. But you hummed frantically under your breath nonetheless and entreated your middling magic to give them a soft landing.
And then there was another wave of green hellfire raining down over your head and you turned and ran.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—
Even if you’d been a champion sprinter, there was little good it would have done you against a beast whose stride was longer than you were tall. You made it back into some hall or other, and into another cavernous room, and then you were pinned into a corner—the dragon looming over you like a vengeful wraith come to take its due.
It was gigantic. Probably the biggest creature you’d ever seen. And it was sleek—all lithe muscle and glossy rows of black scales that glittered oddly in the dull, grey, light. Its wings spread wide behind it, spanning the entirety of the vast chamber. They looked like the sort of wings that could stir up a hurricane. The curling horns atop its head seemed sharp enough to gore a man or twenty, and the purple crests lining its skull were tapered down flat in a way that reminded you a bit deliriously of a pissy cat pinning its ears back before it swatted at you.
Its lips curled back over pointed canines as it snarled at you, and you were showered in a swathe of hot sparks.
“Oh, what large teeth you have,” you squeaked, and when the dragon dipped closer to bellow into your face, your reeled back with a splutter. “I—I mean white, sparkling, teeth!” you rattled, nearly incoherent. The dragon’s snout twitched away, almost like you’d startled it. “I mean, I’m sure you hear this all the time from your food, but—wow! Just! Very lovely! Definitely the prettiest smile I’ll ever be eaten by!”
Slowly it lowered its great head, and you could see the neon glare from its narrowed eyes.
“Not that you have to eat me,” you added hurriedly, hoping to whatever Gods could hear you that your smart mouth could finally be useful for more than just talking circles around assholes in bars or weaseling your friends out of shitty contracts. “I’d very much like not to be eaten. But all the same, we did intrude in your home—and it’s definitely a very nice home—so I’d totally get it. And I guess if I did have to die today, knowing that my life would be in the hands of something so magnificent is certainly reassuring.”
The dragon seemed to preen a bit at that. You could see the sharp crests beneath its horns soften as tension bled from the beast’s posture. It ducked in close again, and this time you felt a sharp pull of air rush past your cheeks as it sniffed you. Its nostrils were the size your head—bigger even, maybe. You didn’t want to think about it, but the dry heat of its breath puffing into your face made the entire thing a bit hard to ignore.  
“Did I mention what a charming home you have?” you rambled on. “Very aesthetic. The gargoyles at the gate were a lovely touch.”
The dragon made a low, warbling, noise in its throat that wasn’t quite a growl, but wasn’t particularly… reassuring, either. It made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.
It ducked away—not far, just enough to reach one of the large, carved, walls at the outskirts of the room. Its long neck slithered out before pausing pointedly over an archway. It took you a long moment to realize it was gesturing to something. Another gargoyle from the looks of things—this one almost entirely crumbled away under the strains of time. You could just barely make out the shape of its square jaw and taloned fingers.
You nodded so hard you nearly gave yourself whiplash.
“Yes! I see! Very beautiful! Such fine craftsmanship!”
The dragon cooed at you. Swear on your life and all the money in your back packet. An actual, honest to God, coo. Fuck, maybe you’d managed to charm your way out of imminent dismemberment and death after all.
It ambled closer once again, a curiosity lighting its eyes and warming those neon irises into something that was less poisonous-hell-fire and more mellow-evening-in-the-forest.
Amidst all the rippling waves of ebony scales, your eyes caught on the smallest smear of crimson. Just a touch of red—right along the spikes of its tail. Carefully, cautiously, slower than molasses, you stepped forward with your hands raised. You whispered a handful of familiar words under your breath and your palms glowed fuzzy and blue. Dragons were supposed to be inherently magical, right? So this one would certainly understand that the string of syllables you’d babbled out were good, and helpful, and not at all a provocation. The dragon was looking down at you with lidded eyes, its gaze a bit unfocused. You gulped.
“I’m sorry my friends messed with your tail,” you apologized, gingerly holding your fingers out to hover over the abrasions without actually touching. “They were just trying to protect me. If—if that makes it any better.” The minuscule wound began to knit itself back together neatly beneath the pulses of your magic. “I do tend to need a lot of protecting—I’m not much a warrior, if that wasn’t completely obvious by the everything about me—so I can’t really blame them for being a bit gung-ho about it.”
After a moment or two, the scratches had faded back into solid, matte, black and you drew back with a content hum.
“There! All fixed!” You gave your most winning smile. Please don’t eat me, your brain chanted on endless repeat. Please don’t eat me please don’t eat me please don’t eat me—
The dragon reared back and settled on its haunches with another heavy puff of sweltering breath. You could feel the heat of it prickling all the way up your arms. After a long, long, moment of silent consideration, the dragon leaned forward again and rumbled deep in its chest. When you only stood there, properly petrified, it huffed again and bumped its nose against your sternum, nearly toppling you over.
“I don’t—” you started, nervous. “I’m sorry. I don’t really get what you’re trying to say.”
With another sigh that sounded entirely too put upon, the dragon lowered its great head. The air itself seemed to grow heavy against your shoulders, and you could taste the cloying bitterness of strong magics on the back of your tongue. Black miasma oozed from beneath the dragon’s talons and melted along its scales. The caustic scent of ash and petrichor burned along your nostrils, and you had to pinch your eyes shut and cover your nose to keep from coughing. You managed to sneak a peek past your fingers just in time to watch the shadowed outline of the beast collapse. And out of that puddle of black goo emerged a man­. He was tall and lithe, just as the dragon had been, with glowing green eyes that were terribly familiar. They were framed with thick, dark, lashes and sat perfectly on a face that was nearly too handsome to be human (well, it really wasn’t human you supposed, so that little tidbit probably accounted for said inhuman beauty well enough). Recognizable eyes and stature or no, the curling horns atop his head would have sealed the deal plenty well enough on their own.
He shook off the shadows twining around his ankles with a lazy twist of the hand and then turned to you with a curious little hum.
And holy fuck Mister Dragon apparently had no sense of shame, or maybe just no qualms about social niceties and practicalities, because his human self was wearing about just as many clothes as his lizard form had been.
You squeezed your eyes shut with a squeak, and then double covered them with your hands for good measure.
A chuckle rolled through the air—as dark and pleasantly rich as the finest of chocolates. And then there was a clawed finger beneath your chin, tilting your head back, and back, and back until you were at least half-way sure it would probably be safe to open your eyes again without infringing on his decency.
“You are fascinating, Child of Man,” it—he—hummed, low in his throat. His thumb dragged down to hook beneath the curve of your jaw and support the finger tucked up under your chin. “And it’s been so, very, long since I’ve been fascinated by anything.”
“Uh,” you replied, like a perfectly functional human being.
The dragon’s lips curled up over his pointed teeth—still just as sharp and white as they had been when he’d been so much bigger and scalier.
“I think I’d like to keep you,” he said with a nod to himself, as casually as one may talk about picking up extra groceries from the market.
“Uh,” you said again.
“You did mention that you needed protecting,” he continued, tapping a clawed finger against his own chin. The small smile quirking his lips twisted into something smug. “And that is certainly something at which I would excel.”
Your head was swimming.
“I—I mean. I’m honored that you—that… you—” You couldn’t even think the words, let alone get them past your brain and out of your mouth. You cleared your throat and fought to keep your eyes level with his clavicle and nowhere else. “D-Don’t you think you’re moving a bit fast?” you laughed nervously. “I mean, I’m sure my friends will probably be on their way back down soon—and—I mean, we haven’t even introduced ourselves yet. I don’t even know your name.”
He blinked, slow and serpentine.
“Oh. I suppose you wouldn’t.” He canted his head to the side, long strands of that inky black hair of his spilling across his shoulder. An amused sort of grin worked its way along his mouth. “Dragons are not keen to give out our true names so readily, but you seem like a clever one. Tell me—what do you think I’m called then, hmm?”
You glanced up quickly at the horns atop his head and couldn’t help yourself.
“Tsunotarou?”
He let out a bark of laughter that seemed to shake the walls.
“Oh,” he trilled, looking positively delighted. The hand not curled beneath your chin reached down to snag your own, and he brought your wrist up to his lips. You could feel the imprints of his canines against the soft skin there. “I’ll definitely be keeping you.”
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wongyuuu · 4 months
Text
[2:08] glimpse of us
Seungcheol runs up the stairs, out of breath. There’s no military or gym training in the world that can prepare someone to run up 8 flights of stairs and he shouldn’t have done it to begin with. There were elevators but neither was there when he entered the building so he had the bright of just taking the stairs. 
The truth was, he was nervous. So incredibly so that staying in place waiting for the elevator to come back seemed too much, it was physically impossible for him just to stay put. The car ride had been a nightmare, his leg jumping up and down to the point his manager had to tell him to stop because “you’re shaking the entire car”.
He thought about his decision a lot, for months that was all he did. Thinking and taking no action at all. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he just couldn’t. 
Breaking up with you had been one of the hardest things he had ever done and what made it worse was the fact that you understood what he said. You understood why he was breaking up with you. Seungcheol would have rather you just screamed at him, hit him, lash out at him, or anything to show anger. He had promised you the world, everything he could, everything he had, and yet there he was taking it all back. 
He had watched, in complete despair, as tears ran down your face, your eyes seeming lost, focused on the window behind him, as you took in everything he had said. When Seungcheol was done talking you finally looked back at him. Your eyes glistened with tears, your cheeks stained with them. You blinked at him a few times as if trying to get something back in place, to get your thoughts in order. Collect them, somehow.
“I understand, Seventeen always comes first”
It was something he said many times. That was his job, to protect his members at all costs. Even at the expense of himself and his life. 
That was the last thing you said directly at him. And you managed to avoid him so well. In events both of you had to attend, he only saw glimpses of you. If there was a camera to his face, or yours, he couldn’t just look at you like he wanted, when you were performing all he could do was nod once or twice. If you happened to pass by him or his members, all you’d do was say a polite “hello” and bow your head. 
His heart broke every single time and he knew yours wasn’t doing much better either. Seungcheol knew you, he knew your tells, even as you did your best to control all of your emotions. 
That happened two and a half years before. Seungcheol had gone on tour and then enlisted, as planned. And every single day his heart had longed only for you. 
Maybe he was reading too much into it, maybe he was just projecting his own feelings in the thing he saw — or thought that he saw—, but Seungcheol was sure that you still felt the same way about him. If not the same then something still very similar. He knew it from the lyrics you wrote, and the things you said in interviews. 
“The color red hunts me, I think” you said once, laughing. 
Maybe he was projecting, yes, but there was also a chance that he may be right. And that was a chance he was willing to take, even if it turned sour the second he knocked on your door.
He did his best to pull the air back into his lungs in five seconds before finally knocking on the door. Seungcheol wasn’t even sure you were home, he just went there in hopes of finding you. 
It took you almost an entire minute to get to the door. Seungcheol didn’t want to get his hopes up, logically he knew that two and half years is a very long time and you could have been with someone else, or could just not want anything to do with him. But seeing you in a shirt he had left behind ignited a new spark of confidence in him.
“What are you doing here?” you said. 
It was hard to believe that he was actually there, truly in front of you, still in his uniform. You had seen on the news that he was bound to be discharged any day now but the precise one was kept a secret from the fans and thus everyone else. 
The last thing you expected was to see him on your door, in the same uniform every had gone crazy over. He looked taller, somehow, his shoulders wider than they used to be. It was something you knew was bound to happen to see it, in front of your very eyes was on your bucket list after the breakup.
“I need to ask you two questions,” he said.
You crossed your arms over your chest when you realized he had been looking at your shirt. His shirt, actually. You had managed to get rid of many of his things that had been left behind, that shirt wasn’t one of them. At first, it was because it smelled like him, it was a source of comfort when your heart was breaking time and time again. His perfume had disappeared a long time ago but still, there was no way to get rid of it. 
“Are you dating someone right now?”
Seungcheol opened and closed his fists, waiting for your answer. He didn’t know, had no idea, that he would get that nervous around you again. It was like when he first asked you out but so much worse because now he was trying to make amends. 
“That’s hardly any of your business,” you said, voice tired “but no, I’m not”
You sighed and ran a hand over your face. 
“Do you still love me?” his tone was almost desperate.
He knew that whichever your answer was, it would change his entire life. He would either be over the moon or your words would seal the nails on the coffin. 
“Seungcheol, why are you doing this?” your voice was barely a whisper. 
The last thing he wanted was to see you cry because of him, again. It was like that day, in his apartment all those years before, crushing his heart once more.  Instead of waiting for your answer, Seungcheol took the two steps separating you. He held your face in his hands, his eyes searching yours once again, to make sure that he wasn’t crossing any lines, that you too wanted that.
You sighed into him the moment his lips pressed over yours, your arms going around his waist, pulling him closer to you. Two and half years and nothing had changed.
“I do, I still do”
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