#bipolar reader

[v3nusxsky]

hi! i'm deeply in love with everything you write and reading your fics is like a daily ritual for me.

i'd like to request a larissa/reader fic, but the idea is a bit hard, so it's absolutely fine if you don't want to write it!

r is an art teacher at nevermore and she's in love with larissa. but the thing is that r is bipolar and her mood can change almost unpredictably. larissa invites her for a glass of wine and they end up spilling their feelings for each other (some smut would be nice). but the next day r is feeling depressed and starts ignoring larissa for days thinking she's not good enough for her and it was a drunk mistake. larissa finds her, r tells her the truth and larissa tells her that it doesn't change anything and she will be with her no matter what.

idk why i requested this, it's a bit personal ig. sorry for lots of details, feel free to change anything!

My flickering flame 18+H&C

*Authors note~ Bipolar is a super sensitive topic and I've done my research to try my best to handle it in a respectful and informative manner*

Trigger warnings~ Bipolar r mommy kink oral fixation for r thigh riding face riding fingering and oral sex mentions of sh

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Teaching at Nevermore was something you'd always wanted to do, your ability made your desire for art easy. Your ability meant anything you created would provoke visions of sorts. You were often transported into the work and especially if you were creating something based off present facts or feelings. Being at Nevermore and teaching also introduced you to the one and only Larissa Weems and you were immediately taken with her, the blonde was alluring and you both struck up a great friendship.

It wasn't uncommon for Larissa to invite you for a glass of wine, in fact it also became a weekly ritual. It was something you came to love but you'd had to cancel it every so often due to your bipolar. Your depressive episodes were horrible and made even just breathing difficult but your Mania episodes were equally exhausting and even exhibiting dangerous and risky behaviour. You remember the first time you experienced a Mania episode and you completely blew through all of your savings on random items that you'd never normally buy. You remember telling the doctor, that you were seeing Lucifer and telling you what you should be doing.

You were feeling good today and the excitement of wine with your crush was really overwhelming for you. But you found yourself sat on her sofa with a glass of red wine dangling from your fingers as you drunk in her beauty. "Darling, you're staring" Larissa murmured watching the blush creep over your cheeks. "You're just so beautiful" you mumbled before gasping in shock, your didn't mean to say that out loud.

"So are you darling, I must confess I rather like you" Larissa purred slipping closer to you, close enough your foreheads met. "Like me?" You mumbled confused. "Very much so and I'd very much like to kiss you love." Before you even verbally replied her lips were attached to yours, they felt softer than you ever imagined and the taste that was so perfectly her was invading your senses.

You both pulled back breathless wearing matching grins, "god I want you" you mumbled before tugging the blonde back to your lips, more passion seeping into this kiss. "Ris? Please" you whimpered after she sunk her teeth into your bottom lip. "Mommys gonna take such good care of you baby, you want this yes?" She murmured smothering your neck in kisses as you mewled, "oh god please never wanted anything more."

It was one night of pure passion, love radiating £!0through you both as you brought one another over the edge time and time again. Larissa riding your thigh, coating it in her slick heat, your mouth securely attached to her breasts as you nipped, sucked and licked at her point rose buds. You riding Larissa's face and suckling on your own fingers to prepare them for her needy cunt. You even somehow managed to get off by the woman's tongue alone, something you'd never done before,  her long slender fingers buried deep into your core as you begged for more, harder and faster. You just needed her. You feel asleep in the woman's arm's sucking on her fingers, moaning at the taste of yourself, just happy to sit in your bubble full of bliss.

You left before Larissa woke up the next morning, the blonde was confused and hurt, she really thought that would be the start of something beautiful but you just disappeared. You stopped teaching your lessons, the only contact you and Larissa had was you informing her of your need of a substitute teacher every morning. All sorts began to race around her mind, maybe you regretted that night, maybe you were embarrassed and didn't want anyone to know, and perhaps you just realised she didn't live up to your expectations.

Meanwhile, you were stuck in your room, no energy to do anything. Negative thoughts swirling around your brain, you'd not eaten or showered since that night and you were lucky if you managed to grab 3 hours of sleep a night. The guilt over leaving without saying anything and the feeling of emptiness and guilt knowing you hurt Larissa. Truly it was all too much and you'd convinced yourself you were better off dead, after all what purpose did you serve now? Your old coping mechanisms are back too.

No one had seen you in days, Larissa had a duty of care as your boss to check on you. So she did, anxious butterflies taking residence in her stomach. But the sight she saw caused her heart to drop, you were curled up in bed, tears flowing over the dried tracks they'd ran before your arms legs and stomach littered in scars and new cuts. You appeared to be asleep as you whimpered her name, your sobs starting to make the words sound choked. The complete opposite of what Larissa had imagined.

Hesitantly, she sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed soothing circles into your back in hope of rousing you awake safely. "Oh darling, I'm here I don't know what's wrong but I'm here" she murmured pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. "Rissa?" You mumbled sleepily before realising the situation and scrambling away from the woman, "no no no she's not meant to be here, you said no luci!" You mumbled to what you thought was lucifer but was actually the wardrobe. "That's the whole reason why I did this" you exclaimed tugging at your abused arms, "I'm not insane! Im not crazy! I'm normal! You're real  I know you are."

"Oh darling, can you focus on me for a second? Just ignore luci for a second. Follow my voice" Larissa whispered to you and you seemed to manage that for a second, rapidly blinking as you faced the woman. "It's happening again" you whimpered before breaking down and throwing yourself into the principals arms, "just a freak with bipolar, you only slept with me because you pity me" you sobbed and suddenly everything made sense to the blonde. "I slept with you because I love you" Larissa murmured into your ear. "Luci says it's lies" you cried and Larissa hushed you, rocking you soothingly.

"Have you taken your medication darling?" You nodded and informed her it wasn't working. So together she helped you phone your doctor and ask for some advice on how to help you now. He informed the blonde as long as she was safe and not posing a risk that she could stay home and have her appointment first thing in the morning to talk about her medication. So that night Larissa slept next to you, In your bed just reassuring you and keeping you safe. She loves you so that means this part of you too, no matter what happens she'll be here for as long as you want her.

Word count ~ 1361

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #anon requested #principal larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #larissa x you #larissa x reader #principal larissa weems x reader #larissa weems #larissa weems smut #weems #principal weems #bipolar reader

[bugs1nmybrain]

L Lawliet x Bipolar! Reader Headcanons

I know I said Aizawa would get the next fic and he will, I've just been unmotivated lately because of my depressive episode and homework is kicking my ass. That fic is in my drafts right now and will be completed soon. For now, here's this.

I hardly find any content with characters and mentally ill readers, especially with characters who are considered emotionally strong, like L and Aizawa. I needed this and I hope it helps somebody else, too.

Warnings: Sfw, mentally ill reader, bipolar disorder (I'm type 1 so this may relate better to type 1 people, though I hope it can resonate with type 2 people as well), mania, depression, psychotic symptoms (hallucinations and delusions), medication, protective L, L monitors you via cameras and tracking devices, L calls reader "love" (if you couldn't tell I'm a sucker for pet names), I used personal experiences when explaining reader's psychosis; it's interchangeable to whatever your unique delusions/hallucinations are.

Honestly, your diagnosis doesn't intimate L. While he hasn't exactly engrossed himself in mental health research, he's very knowledgeable in psychology

Your symptoms don't surprise him or make him uncomfortable, and he's actually well receptive of them.

Though admittedly he finds himself a little lost when you're in a manic episode. He's not freaked out, but getting a word out of edgewise with you is challenging. He follows along as best as he can.

Insomnia is something he's well acquainted with himself, so if you can't manage to sleep for a few days he'll be at your side. He'll definitely try to encourage you to take a sleep aid, but if you're stubborn he'll concede and just hang around to monitor you.

He's actually protective when you're in a heavy episode. Sure, he trusts that you have autonomy over yourself, but he also needs to make sure you're safe. So he'll track your whereabouts when you're gone and will sneak cameras into your residence so he can check up on you.

Even if you're good about keeping track of your medication, he'll occasionally make sure you have. Simple reminders like, "Have you taken your medication today, love?" If you're not with him in person he'll text you.

Honestly, because he's so analytical, sometimes he can't help but feel intrigued by your episodes. He knows that every person with bipolar disorder is different, and so paying attention to how your condition affects you, in particular, is interesting to him.

Depressive episodes are harder for him than manic ones, surprisingly. He wants to keep you engaged and present, but when you're stubbornly depressed it's hard for him to know what to do. He gets creative, often asking you to join him for sweets or go shopping. Anything to get you moving.

When you lie in bed all day, that arches him the most. As someone whose brain is always on the go, he's sure that you doing absolutely nothing but sulk has to be painful. Sometimes he'll come and lie beside you for a while and try to conversate with you.

As strong and collected as L is, he's no stranger to depression and hyperactivity either. Maybe he's not bipolar, but he can relate to constantly being on the go. His depression only really comes about when he feels hopeless about an investigation. He understands being unmotivated when it seems like nothing is going your way.

Seeing you cry is when he becomes the most complacent. This is tricky for him, he's not used to such a strong emotional response. He doesn't really know what to do or how to make you feel better. He wants to cure it and even just tell you to not cry, but unfortunately, it's not as simple as that. He knows that.

The only thing he can really do is hold you, or just be in your presence if that makes you more comfortable. But admittedly, he is very uncomfortable when the waterworks come out. L isn't inept at reassuring support, but being emotionally intelligent isn't his expertise.

He'll offer you some sweets to make you feel better. He's trying.

L's very in tune with your early warning signs. He's usually the first one to predict if an episode is approaching. He's studied your behavior so well that even the slightest sign of symptoms is apparent to him. He'll conduct some proactive measures to help if he can, though he doesn't want to seem like your psychiatrist or anything. If you use substances, he'll encourage you to go easy with them. He'll also encourage a better sleep routine (funny, coming from him).

One thing about L that makes him an excellent support, is that he's not scared of your symptoms. He realizes that medication is only a management strategy for bipolar disorder, not a cure. He's not going to lecture you on upping your dose or make you ashamed of your symptoms. It doesn't have to be a bad thing if you can manage it. He's a busy guy, so there's only so much he can do, but he'll help.

His main strategy is distraction, and his other is communication. If you need to talk about your symptoms, or even just ramble while you're manic, he'll listen (mostly. Your manic rants can be overwhelming sometimes).

When you're getting especially excitable he'll try to ground you with an activity; chess, maybe. Something that requires your brain to slow down and become more methodical. For your depression, his go-to for you is physical activity, like tennis. The endorphins help cope with depression and can give you some rewarding feelings.

Psychosis is one that he wasn't prepared for. He knew it could be a symptom of bipolar disorder but wasn't aware of the intensity. So when you came to him nervously asking who was watching all the cameras and if he had sent international government organizations to kidnap you, he was confused.

Then you started telling him about how you were the only person who has ever existed and everybody else was an extension of yourself, and he started getting it.

Delusions are tricky for him because ultimately he can't change your mind, but he does want to make sure that he can ground you as much as he can.

The cameras are an issue. He puts them everywhere, but because they are a huge source of anxiety for you when you're in psychosis, he has to figure out a way to monitor you but also not make you feel like you're in danger. He may even lie to you about there being no cameras but has actually put them in places you wouldn't expect them to be in. It's for your safety, he tells himself. If you're insistent that there are cameras everywhere even after his lying, he'll try to at least have you understand that the only one watching them is him and it's because he loves you and wants to make sure you're ok. That's the truth.

Hallucinations, he gets. He's even had them himself when he goes many many days without sleeping (also remember episode 25. And before y'all tell me that he lied about the "bells", I don't care and I could write a post about it but that's not what this post is for). He's quick to notice you turning your head behind you, or when he's talking to you and you'll be looking beside his head. He'll ask questions about it.

His busy schedule can make this hard for him to balance, but trust that you are not a burden. He wouldn't still be here if you were. He loves you and just wants you to be safe.

#l lawliet #l lawliet x reader #bipolar reader #bipolar disorder #psychosis

[pink-key]

Could you draw Toby having a crush on Y/N? If he doesn't already

(I just want a smooch bro and Toby is such a cutie patootie ≧◡≦)

You're in luck as I was cringing and drawing something akin to that, thinking how could I not embarrass myself further, and now I have a valid reason to post this lmao. My view is that he has his own way in liking y/n. Afterall, y/n is an unusual victim who managed to build some sort of fragile bond with him. It's just his feelings are slightly twisted with schizophrenia, bipolar and other disorders sprinkled on top, but he has also a very soft hidden side to him..just need to dig in deep, accepting his whole character so he could show it to y/n.

Uuuuhrgh, this song is so fitting for him-

#how does one draw a character with bipolar disorder help me- #at the same time y/n in my comics just wants to be left alone #but that's the beauty of it lmao #im cringing in my own dumpster #creepypasta ticci toby #art #my work #ticci toby #ticcy toby #ticci tobi #creepypasta #ticci toby x y/n #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby x you #creepypasta fanart #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x you

[risustravelogue]

In the psychiatrist's waiting room and thinking about Wriothesley finally finding out what your regular visits to the surface is all about.

cw. mental health issues, specifically bipolar II disorder. contains heavy lore of my s/i (f!reader, she/her pronouns used).

You've told Wriothesley during your job interview that you'd require once-a-month visits to the surface if he were to employ you. He agreed without prying further, much to your relief.

Sigewinne had known from the start, of course—it's her duty to know everything about the people in her care, after all. Yet, she passed your files over to the Duke anyway, because she knew he'd grant you, the most excellent apprentice of Estelle's, this small relief. The only thing she told him was "she needs to maintain her health, but it's out of the scope of my knowledge of human well-being."

He'd lie if he said he wasn't curious about Sigewinne's words, but his need of a mechanic to maintain and improve his gauntlets was greater. And so he stayed out of the issue... until he decides to confess his attraction for you.

He doesn't even try persuading Sigewinne to tell him about your issues, knowing how strict she is with doctor-patient confidentiality. So after a few private investigations, he decides to go straight to the source.

That afternoon, he welcomes you to his office. He sits on his desk with the sound of soft piano—your favorite piece—flowing from his gramophone.

"I need to talk about your monthly visits to the surface," he says, and your gaze goes downward to your shifting feet, your fingers fidgeting behind your back.

Sensing your nervous energy, he smiles and says, "Relax. I'm not going to fire you or anything like that. A small issue like this won't affect what I think about you."

You chuckle derisively. "That's what they all say before rejecting my job application," you say. "And it's not exactly a 'small' issue. It affects everything you know about me."

"Try me," he says, sipping his tea. "Please."

"... I guess you're going to find out sooner or later..." you mumble. You inhale and exhale, your breath trembling in fear of being rejected by him.

"I have... depression. Specifically, bipolar two disorder. That's why I seem more irritable some days and like I've lost interest in everything on others," you blurt out. "I've been on both medication and counseling, so it doesn't stand out too much anymore, but it still gets in the way of my work sometimes. That's why I need to visit my doctor on the surface once a month. Believe me when I said this is not the worst I've been—"

You stop speaking when you realize that your boss is staring at you in sympathy.

"I—I'm sorry. For rambling," you mutter.

"No, no," he says with a sigh. "If anything, I'm sorry for not asking sooner."

"Sure... well. Are you still not going to fire me?" you ask bluntly.

Wriothesley's eyes soften.

"No. Why would I? I love you."

"... What?"

"I love you," he repeats as he steps closer to you. Your heart beats loud and fast from the adrenaline, thoughts racing through your head: screw this, screw everything, if I'm going to lose him, might as well be now—

"I... I don't... My ex dumped me when I told him this," you ramble, tears welling up in your eyes. "You– you're sure? You don't... see me as someone problematic? You don't... hate me?"

His fingers rest on your chin as he lifts your face. You instinctively gasp and close your eyes at his touch, only to feel his soft, warm lips meeting yours in a chaste kiss.

"I'm glad you're able to be honest with me," he says against your lips. His breath smells like the tea he just sipped, and somehow it's so intoxicating this way—

"I love you," he says again, his icy blue eyes now gazing softly into yours. "And I don't mind being a place for you to rest, your home in this foreign country. Will you allow me to be such?"

"Y– you would?" you stutter, the good kind of disbelief flooding your chest with warmth. "I... would love for you to be my home," you say with a grin. "I love you, too."

"Good," he breathes, his arms pulling your body flush against his. You feel your worries melt away as he kisses you in his embrace.

"Very good... my love."

© @risustravelogue 2023 • no to reposting, yes to reblogging. feel free to send an ask to suggest, chat, etc. :)

#astronetwrk #wriothesley #wriothesley genshin #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley x you #wriothesley fluff #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #cw depression #cw bipolar #kurisu's thoughts #kurisu writes #wrisu #uhuh yep another waiting room thought hehe

[hazbinhappy]

hazbin hotel characters react to reader having bpd??

A/N: hi! i was kinda worried to do this because i am not too well verse on this yet, so i had to do a bit of research on borderline personality disorder (i assume that is what you mean i almost mixed it up with bipolar disorder, but if you meant bipolar i will write for that too!) i assumed you meant the hotel gang too since that is who we see the most!

I kept it mainly platonic and as a group, but it’d be similar if you were to pick any as a romantic partner!

So you’re a sinner and you come to the hotel and you are seeking redemption and you are trying HARD

Charlie, sweet Charlie, somehow has the patience of a saint and is willing to work with you… but she sorta becomes a pleaser just to keep you happy when you get a bit explosive

Which isn’t always the best, but she’d rather take the approach of appeasing you

Angel follows this same path simply due to his own trauma dealing with explosive people

Maybe Lucifer follows this? He seems on the more passive side in my opinion, but with how fast paced the show was we didn’t get to see much of his character

I honestly think Sir Pentious would actually try to avoid you if you’re in a bad mood, but he loves the happy times you two spend together! (Bonus: the egg bois love being with you no matter what :D)

I think Husk and Vaggie would not care about your mood and simply go with the flow or treat you depending on your mood. You have an attitude or are in a bad state? Then you are butting heads with them

But the relationship is still fine it’s like an ocean: the tides come and go but it’s still an ocean

Now Nifty?…. No brain cells. She is somehow always cheery. Just don’t be overly mean then she’s fine!

I saved Alastor for last cause he’s a bitch. Y’know when his fake smile is like super fake and it’s clear he’s annoyed? That’s him when you’re not good. He’s so fucking sassy and snarky.

Now in good moods or normalcy, everything is fine and peachy! Good times!

#hi I’m alive :D #I’ll state again: please lmk if you meant bipolar and not boderline! #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #husk x reader #angel dust x reader #alastor x reader #charlie moringstar x reader #vaggie x reader #nifty x reader #sir pentious x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer Morningstar x reader #ngl I had to like remove the memories I have with dealing with someone with this because it was a trip 😅 but I love them and miss them

[reidhuhu]

daughters who were raised by mentally ill women grow into women who love spencer reid.

#bipolar mom check #this is what makes us girls #matthew gray gubler shows #matthew gray gubler pictures #matthew gray gubler movies #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid

[frank2blonded]

‣ bipolar

𝓟airing ↳ 42!Miles Morales X F!Reader

𝓘𝓷 𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓬𝓱 .. just a girl in the world who misses her ex.

𝓦arnings .. angst , short story

𝓐uthor's note .. i'm back!! the story is based off the song bipolar by peso pluma

prometi que iba a olvidarte,

i promised that i was going to forget you

You listened along to that line, thinking about him as Peso Pluma was singing that. How ironic.

You and Miles broke up 2 months ago.

After the break up, you tried focusing on yourself, your grades, and your friends. After all, you're only 16.

But when it's late at night, you think about the night he broke up with you.

You both had just went back home after a long day of hanging out with each other. Laughing and having a good time.

He suddenly got quiet. His face looked more serious. You noticed this, so you asked him if something was wrong.

"Hey, are you okay?" You rested your hand on his back.

He was silent again.

"I'm.." He didn't finish his sentence. It looked like he couldn't bring himself to say the rest of the words.

"You're..?" You chuckled a bit, but inside you were worried. Scared.

..

"I'm breaking up with you."

Those words.

You felt like you just got stabbed. Your stomach was turning. He said it with such a calm voice. The same voice that would say 'I love you.'

Your hand went back into your lap. You gulped. What were you supposed to do? Or say?

"Wh-" You stopped yourself. If you opened your mouth again, you would only burst into tears.

You took deep breaths. Your heart was racing. Was it something you did? What did you do? You thought you were the perfect girlfriend.

Slowly, tears were running down your face. You were starting to ruin your makeup. But you quickly wiped them off.

"Is it something I did?" You said, your voice being shaky.

"I'm sorry." Was he being serious? That's all he could say right now? He had to be kidding.

The silence in between the two expanded. You suddenly got up, getting your stuff from his room. Miles watched your every move. He saw you grabbing the plushies you bought him. The basket that you gave him for Valentines. The necklace and bracelet he gave you was now placed on his desk.

He walked into the room as you were still looking around. "You aren't gonna try to fight for us?" He asked. You paused. What?

"There's no way you just asked me that question." You couldn't even turn around to look at him in the eyes. "I'm bein' deadass."

"I'm not going to try and fight for someone who clearly wants nothing to do with me now." You stood on business.

But you wish you had said more.

pero me fallé, yo te volví a buscar

but i failed, i looked for you again

You did, you tried looking for Miles in every new guy that you met. None of them worked out, cause you just ended up ghosting them anyways. You felt so guilty trying to look for the right man when you know the one that you want the most is Miles.

porque por las noches yo fui débil

because at night i was weak

You couldn't help yourself but to stalk him again on another account. He hasn't been posting much. Maybe it's because he misses you too and he's sad? No. Don't be delusional. But.. what if?

y no puda evitar llamar a tu celular

and i couldn't avoid calling your phone

You went to your contacts to see his as 'my stinky boyfriend 💙❤️‼️' You couldn't change it, You always felt like you can still have another chance. You stared at the call button.

…

Ugh, fuck it. You brought the phone up to your ear as it was ringing. A few rings were heard and then it stopped. He didn't answer. (but that's what you thought.)

perdón, no lo sabes

sorry, you don't know

Then you heard a familiar voice. "Hello?" The deep, raspy voice that made you literally melt. "Miles?" You responded, with the biggest fucking smile on your face. "Y/N?" You heard him scoff a bit. "Why are you calling me?" You sighed, you were silent. After what seemed like forever, you finally said something,

pero yo te quiero con el corazón

but i love you with my heart

"I miss you Miles." Your stomach was turning. Why'd you say that? Oh my gosh. Fuck. He's silent.

"Yeah.. I-.."

"I miss you too, mami." You smiled. Your cheekbones started hurting. You almost started crying.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

…

"Can I come over?" You looked down at your clothes, then to your hair in the mirror. You sighed, "Yeah."

te quiero con el corazón.

i love you with my heart.

You waited for a bit to hear the rhythmic knock on your window. You immediately went to the window and opened it to see his face. He smiled at you and went inside your room. You didn't say anything, just stayed silent and admired each other. Even though you looked like total shit. He then hugged you, long and hard. You missed his touch. You melted into his lean body and smelled that cologne he always wears. You missed this.

"Gosh, you don't know how much I missed being with you." You whispered. You were both then looking into each other's eyes and your eyes were a bit teary. "Oh, trust me, I can tell." He joked as he was hearing the song playing. You both laughed.

The night ended well, and the morning was even better, feeling his strong arms around you.

#— kay’s diary ⋆ #Spotify #miles morales x y/n #miles morales #spiderverse #miles morales x reader #atsv #across the spider verse #miles molares #peso pluma #bipolar peso pluma #spiderman atsv #spiderman across the verse #miles g morales x reader #prowler miles morales x reader

[gryfflepuffinthetardis]

Sweet Jane Part One — Campbell Bain x Reader

Summary: Y/n was admitted to Saint Jude's hospital in Glasglow soon after her eighteenth birthday when she developed a case of psychogenic/traumatic mutism; there she meets a talkative, optimistic, idealistic, hyperactive nineteen-year-old boy with Manic depression who dreams of becoming a DJ, follow them through their story and learn what happened to Y/n.

Series Warnings: Past Toxic Relationship, Manipulative Ex, Mentions of Past Rape, Mental Health, Discrimination against the Mentally Ill/Neroudivergent, Traumatized Reader, Abusive Parents, Mentions of deceased family members, Stalking, Suicide, Reader doesn't handle men touching her well, Mentions of Sex, Bad Caretakers, Implied Non-Scottish Reader, Implied Short Reader, Campbell Bain's Dad is Terrible

Chapter Warnings: Reader refuses to speak; Loving Campbell Bain, Traumatized Reader, Selectively Mute Reader, PTSD Reader, Psychogenic Mute Reader, Traumatic Mute Reader, Manic Depressant Campbell Bain, Bipolar Campbell Bain, Schizophrenic Furgus, OCD Rosalie, Reader Developed Selective Mutism as a Coping Mechanism, Reader may have an intense type of anxiety caused by trauma, Reader is implied to not be Scottish or at least from Scotland (I am American but just add where you're from), Reader is implied to be shorter than the six-foot Campbell Bain

“You are a mystery to me, yet so familiar. Like a song I’ve never heard before, and a tune I’ve known my entire life.”

Y/N hadn't spoken a word since she was eighteen and long before that something had changed. Her parents finally decided enough was enough and sent her to Saint Jude's hospital in Glasgow.

Campbell had literally crashed into the new girl during his excitement at hearing that the Saint Jude's radio station would be reopened.

The girl screamed as he collided with her and she started screaming and kicking due to his body weight on her.

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry." He said, hurriedly, getting off of her and holding a hand out to help her up but she just stared at him, terrified, "I'm sorry. Uh..." He realized he didn't recognize her, as far as he knew he was the youngest patient at Saint Jude's and this girl was around his age. This was exciting! "Are you new? I'm Campbell Bain, I'll be the bane of your life until one of us is discharged." He chortled at his own joke before he realized she was still of the floor, "Oh, let me help you up." He crouched down and took her hand, helped her up.

She stared at him with a confused look on her face but she didn't pull her hand away yet more out of shock than anything. Campbell offered her a smile before she ripped her hand out of his grip and ran off, leaving Campbell very confused.

He asked the nurses about the girl but none would give him proper answers, until he got to Stuart the orderlie, who should've been a patient instead but... you know, life.

"She's a looney." He said, blankly.

"Ai, yes. Yes. Yes. I know that much but what's her name? What's her deal?" Campbell prodded.

"Y/N." Was all he said.

--

A few days later, Eddie McKenna arrived to be the DJ for Saint Jude's, with assumption that he'd be able to tell the difference between the staff and the patients.

He had an interaction with Stuart and assumed he was a patient but found out that he was a nursing assistant. Well, that couldn't be good.

Then he met Campbell, who seemed perfectly friendly and nice before realizing he was a patient himself.

Campbell and Y/N were on better terms, now that she had stopped bolting on the other direction when he tried to talk to her. And they listened to Eddie's show as Y/N read Narnia.

Soon after the show, Eddie heard Campbell playing and singing, Summertime Blues on his guitar which was only slightly out of tune, which Eddie had played on his show. He saw Y/N correcting Campbell's finger placement on the guitar as he whined that it hurt his hand.

Campbell enthusiastically praised Eddie and explained on his poor timing and the patient’s dependence of television.

Y/N caught sight of something moving outside the window and she threw a guitar pick at Campbell, making him pout in her direction before seeing her pointing and they ran to window as he said, “Hang on, you’re not boring me or that, but I’ve just seen a friend of mine flying past the window.”

Y/N and Campbell leaned out the window to see the hospital’s Schizophrenic who despite the schtick his disorder stereotyped him as he was just the most gentle soul you’d ever meet, if a little eccentric, grappling down the side of the building.

“Fergus! What’re you doing!?” Campbell shouted after him as Eddie joined them, “you’re gonna hurt yourself!”

“Shall I get a nurse?” Eddie asked and Y/N shook her head.

“Fergus! You’re gonna miss your cocoa, you know!”

“I know.” Fergus told him.

“Can Y/N and I have it, then?” He asked.

“Help yourselves.” He told them.

“He’s escaping.” Eddie said, surprised how calm both of them were being so calm about this

“He’ll be knocking on the door in an hour or so. He always does.” Campbell reassured Eddie, “annoys the hell out of the staff but makes this one smile.” He nodded at Y/N as she sat on Campbell’s bed with his guitar, the look of fascination in Campbell's eyes was not lost on Eddie.

Campbell returned to his enthusiastic and impulsive idea-planning, the first being to bring up a story when a student nurse accidently gave everyone in the ward a laxative, making Eddie and Y/N look at him oddly and the only problem he saw with it was where he’d get that many laxatives.

“What about a request show?” He asked Eddie.

“I already thought of that. I haven’t enough records.” Eddie shot down that idea… well, he’s never disagreed with Campbell Bain before.

“So?”

“So? When folk request something, they usually like to be able to play it.”

“We just make them keep requesting until they hit something we actually have.” Campbell said, “‘if you can guess a record that we actually have in our library, then we will play it for you with a special dedication’.” He did a playful punch in the air, “who could resist?”

“It’ll never work.”

Y/N who had been playing with Campbell’s guitar, then played a jingly tune.

“You’re right, Y/N!” He declared, enthusiastically with an enthusiastic pointed finger at her and then he ran his hand through his light auburn-brown floppy hair, “We’ll need some jingles.” Y/N looked up when Campbell sang a jingle, “Hospital radio, Saint Juuuuude’s.” He smiled at Eddie, “that sort of thing.”

“You need singers to record jingles.”

Campbell picked up his guitar from Y/N and sat next to her, “and what exactly is sitting here before you?”

“A lunatic!” Eddie declared, making Y/N softly giggle.

“Aye, a singing lunatic!” Campbell agreed, enthusiastically. “We could record them in the station, aye?”

“Aye…” Eddie submitted.

“Brilliant!” Campbell exclaimed, going back to Eddie, “Now give me the key.” He held out his hand.

“What key?” Eddie asked.

“To the station.” Campbell said and ran to the door, looking out, “look, I’ve gotta start. Writing the jingles, rehearsing the singers, cataloging the albums.”

Eddie looked at Y/N as she looked back down and realized he hadn’t gotten her name, having been distracted Campbell’s… Campbell-ness and Fergus escaping. “Uh, ma’am… what’s your name again?” Eddie asked, making Y/N look up from a piece of paper she was now writing on, she gave him with a blank deadpan look at being called “ma’am”. She was only eighteen.

“That’s Y/N.” Campbell said.

“What’s your favorite album?” Nothing. She just looked at him, “can you sing?” She blinked twice and he turned back to Campbell, “what’s wrong with her?”

“Oh, she doesn’t speak. She hasn’t said a word since she got here.” Campbell said, “and there’s nothing wrong with her, she’s just looney like me!”

Eddie walked closer to him and asked as gently as he could, “Campbell, how exactly are you here?”

Campbell paused in which he faltered, knowing how his own father felt about his disorder before smiling, “Can you not guess? I’m manic.” Y/N looked up and smiled at him, making his eyes dart to her and a more genuine smile appeared on his lips before he reassured Eddie, “but don’t worry. The drugs I take make me completely stable. Except for headaches, of course.” He blinked in pain as he focused back on the painful headaches and he squeezed his eyes shut before blindly grabbing onto Eddie’s shirt who could sense a scene coming up as could Y/N who looked up to be amused by Campbell, “I get these headaches. I just comes over me and I cannae…” He flopped on his bed, next to Y/N and shouted out in pain, “ah, the bells! The bells!”

Y/N reached over and went to place her hand on Campbell’s back before stopping, hesitating to do so, not sure if they were close enough or if she wanted to admit that they were close enough and then suddenly Campbell’s mood shifted back to near manic and he shot himself up to look at Eddie, making Y/N pull her hand away, blinking briefly in surprise, “And I want my own show, by the way.”

“What?” Eddie asked.

“Well, after all this work, I think it’s only fair, don’t you?” He questioned.

“Campbell, I cannae just give you your own show.” Eddie protested, “you need training on the equipment.”

“So? Train me!” Campbell pleaded, eagerly. “I’ll take Friday nights.”

“Will that not clash with Brookside?” Eddie questioned.

Y/N looked at the window where they had gone to to shout after Fergus.

—

The next day, Campbell and Eddie were in the common room with Eddie standing shyly while Campbell did the opposite and shouted through a party megaphone while Y/N sat with Fergus, writing down something for him to read. “Ladies and gentlemen, I have an important announcement to make!” He spotted Fergus and Y/N and narrowed his eyes, “Fergus, stop flirting with Y/N.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and went to the couch rather bored now and put her headphones on.

Campbell and Eddie had announced the request show, while admitting that they had limited records. Eddie went to talk to Nana while Campbell stared at Y/N, feeling nervous to approach her since he worried she hated him with how scared she got when he interacted with her.

Then Fergus clapped him on the back, making him stumble and look at him, unamused before approaching the silent H/C-haired girl.

"Hey, Y/N," Campbell said, kindly, walking up to the silent girl but she didn't seem to hear him as she was listening to her Walkman. He tapped her shoulder, making her jump and stare at him with wide eyes just as she had when they first met. He gestured to her headphones, silently asking if he could take them off and she slowly nodded and he gently slid them off and could vaguely hear Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover by Sophie B. Hawkins.

"Hey, we're doing a request show. You have any requests?"

She looked at him for a good while before getting up and leaving. Campbell frowned and his spirits were diminished before leaning forward and face planting his face into the couch cushion, groaning.

—

Campbell showed Eddie the radio station now cleaned and useable thanks to him, Y/N, and Rosalie and as he left Eddie questioned Campbell about Nana and Campbell answered in his own hyperactive way before Eddie questioned him about his obvious crush on Y/N.

“The silent girl, uh… M/Y/N.” (Mispronunciation of Your Name)

“Y/N.” Campbell corrected, automatically in a slightly defensive tone.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

Campbell’s cheeks burned as they reddened and his heartrate quickened, “No. No. No. She’s new actually. Been here about a week. She… she’s a mystery.” He gave out a dreamy smile, “One I’d like to solve but…” He shrugged like, what can you do? —

Campbell was snoring when he was awoken by a friendly smack in the head. He woke up, groaning with confusion before turning on his light, illuminating Y/N who smile sweetly at him as she held something behind her back.

"Jesus, Y/N." He groaned, "what you do that for?" She just looked at him and he nodded, remembering who je was talking to, "right. Uh, what is it?"

Y/N brought a custom record sleeve out from behind her back and he slowly began to realize what she was trying tell him.

"Oh, you want me to play one of these songs during the show tomorrow, er… today?" He asked.

She nodded and sat on the edge of his bed, making him kick around spazzily and awkwardly before sitting up, trying to make room for her as his heart pounded and he looked down at her, feeling her body heat up against his but forced himself not to think about that as it was a bit of a creepy thought to have at two in the morning as she showed him the songs on the back of the vinyl which was also handmade, she pointed at the first song: a cover of The Velvet Underground's Sweet Jane by Cowboy Junkies.

"Is that your favorite song?" He asked and she nodded. "Wait, these are all from different bands, how'd you get this?"

She pointed to herself, "you made it?" He gathered, "Who made the record?" She pointed to herself again and he just smiled at her impressed and enamored by her. "You are one mystery, Y/N L/N. You may be my favorite mystery.”

She smiled, telling him that she liked the idea of being a mystery to him and kissed his cheek, near the corner of his lip, nearly making him melt with a loud dreamy sigh before running off. He looked after he with a starstruck look of awe on his face before flopping back on his pillow, groaning.

—

The next day, Y/N shared a smile with Fergus before listening in on the radio to the show, standing and watching Campbell through the window.

“Good evening! This is Ready Eddie.” Eddie introduced, “and on my left is my right-hand man…”

“Campbell Bain.” Campbell introduced, not seeing Y/N watching him and the smile on her lips.

“And you’re listening to the first ever Ready Eddie Radio Request Road Show.” He gave Campbell a thumbs up and the nineteen-year-old pushed a button, making a jingle play.

“Ready Eddie’s road show. Ready, Eddie, go.”

“That’s right. This is the premiere. This is the first. And you can tell everyone that you were there. You heard it! You saw it!” Campbell said, enthusiastically before joking, “And they’ll tell you, it’s all part of your illness.”

Y/N giggled at his antics before realizing this and she zipped her leather jacket up over her shirt with the sarcastic quote on it.

“We’re playing requests from Ward Eleven this evening. This one is for Francine. I hope you’re listening, Francine.”

Campbell then teased, “I hope anyone’s listening.” He then saw Y/N watching him and let out an audible smile that melted his insides.

“Is anybody listening?” Eddie asked, “Is anybody out there?”

Then Help! By the Beatles started to play and soon the patients came out and Campbell ran out of the station to dance with some patients before more came out, including Fergus. He gave Y/N a smile and thumbs up as he flashed the part of the television he had removed.

Campbell ran back to Eddie and pulled his earphone off so he could talk to him, “the television’s broken, Eddie! There is a God!”

Eddie nodded in the direction of Y/N and Campbell’s face lit up and he ran to Y/N and taking her hands, trying to ease her into dancing. She shook her head before starting to shuffle awkwardly to the music before Campbell took her hands and pulled her against him so she danced with him to the beat of the music. She then giggled up against him and he smiled, triumphally.

He was about to comment on how beautiful her laugh when there was a BANG! And the music stopped, making them all exclaim in disappointment before Campbell and Y/N ran back to the station to see what was wrong.

“What’s wrong?”

“The mixing desk.” Eddie said, trying to fix it with his limited knowledge.

“Do something!” Campbell exclaimed.

“What can I do? I can’t even turn on the bathroom light without shocking myself.” Eddie remarked.

“Well, check the plug. Maybe it’s the fuse.” Campbell suggested as Y/N looked up at Fergus and gestured for him to come.

“It’s not the fuse.” Eddie sighed.

Campbell ran his hand through his floppy hair, “I cannae believe this. I’ve just had the world’s shortest career as a disk jockey.”

Fergus took out a screwdriver and headed inside to help and started to unscrew the screws of the mixing desk.

“Fergus, what are you doing?” Campbell asked.

“I’ll just have a look.” Fergus reassure him.

“No, don’t!” Eddie shouted, “don’t have a look there.”

Y/N helped Fergus lift the plate of the mixing desk as Eddie continued to try and stop Fergus and Y/N, “Fergus, Y/N, I’m asking you. Please, leave it alone”

“He’s gonna blow it up.” A patient said.

“He’s not!” Campbell protested.

“I think I know what the problem is.” Fergus told Eddie.

“He’s blowing it up.” Another patient said and the others started to chant Fergus’ name.

“Fergus, don’t, okay!? Just leave it alone. It’s all we’ve got.” Eddie pleaded and Y/N smacked Eddie’s shoulder when Stuart literally pushed her out of the way, making her squeak and stumble before Campbell caught her and glared at Stuart.

“Oi, watch where you’re going!” He shouted.

Stuart aggressively grabbed Fergus holding him in a near chokehold and Y/N tried to go forth to help but Campbell held her back, knowing she’d just be pushed away again, if not sedated.

“He’s not causing trouble, is he?” He asked Eddie and Y/N shook her head, frantically at Eddie.

“No, he’s just helping me, get the mixing desk going again.” Eddie muttered.

“Him? He couldn’t get his brain going again.” Stuart spat and Y/N scoffed, implying that she felt that better described Stuart than Fergus.

“Leave it, Stuart.” Isabella, the more kind nurse said, “it’s all over.”

Stuart let Fergus go and sulked out of the room, clearly upset that he didn’t get to hurt someone as Y/N gave him the middle finger.

Fergus closed the plate of the mixing desk and Y/N flipped the switch, making the light come back on.

“You two are geniuses.” Campbell gasped.

Y/N shook her head and pointed at Fergus like, no, he’s the genius.

“YOU’RE GENIUSES!” Campbell shouted and he slammed the door shut and got back to the microphone, “Sorry about the technical problems, folks. We’re now back on the air and we hope to keep it that way. Our next request is for Y/N and dedicated to her by me.” He chortled as he looked at her and clicked his tongue as he winked.

The cover of Sweet Jane played, making Y/N smile as Eddie looked at Fergus, giving him an apologetic and thankful smile as Fergus perpetually scowled before his lips curved into a gentle smile.

Later, Y/N helped Campbell clean up the hallways before they bumped into each other.

“Uh… so how did you know how to help Fergus?” He asked.

She took out her wad of paper and wrote: Learned. Taught.

He nodded, taking what he could get, “I always knew you were smart.” He said, honestly and he hesitated before leaning towards her to kiss her cheek like she had done the night, she shifted, conflicted as she could see the pure gentless in Campbell's personality, in his actions, in his eyes, and she could feel it in his cheek kiss. He had hesitated, not wanting to overstep boundaries and he was still nervous about his decision but before she could react Eddie ran out of the room, making them break apart and move out of the way before he rammed into them.

*This is a series from my Wattpad, so I'm moving in to Tumblr and Archive of my Own. There is an entire subplot later on of stalking and the cause of the reader's muteness or mutism (which ever is the correct term). Am I the only one who feels like Campbell Bain might also have ADHD or is it just because of his Bipolar/Manic Depression. I'm usually good at this but I'm having a hard time differentiating the two or maybe it's just David Tennant.

#Takin' Over the Asylum #Takin' Over the Asylum: Hey Jude #Takin' Over the Asylum episode one #The Eccedentiast #Campbell bain x Reader #Campbell Bain #Young David Tennant #Manic Depressant Campbell Bain #Bipolar Campbell Bain #Implied Non-Scottish Reader #Selective Mutism #PTSD Reader #Traumatized Reader #Reader is wary of men #Schizophrenic Furgus #Psychogenic Mute Reader #Loving Campbell Bain #David Tennant's Expressive Eyes #David Tennant Characters #We are loonies and we are proud #Pre-Doctor Who David Tennant #Auburn David Tennant #Sweet Jane #OCD Rosalie

[aylish91]

How would axe handle a territorial bitty reader?

I am assuming you mean Axe from SOH as opposed to Axe from "a bitty fic?" ? If not, I would be more than willing to answer this question again. haha!

Anyway, Axe from SOH:

A bitty reader? A palm-sized wonder? Well, look at that precious little snack. How  c u t e.

Axe would find it overwhelmingly adorable how such a small little bean could be like that. He himself is highly a bit territorial, but this is just cute. They could help each other keep an eye on things, hide things, keep others out of their business… It’s endearing to have someone like-minded. He also finds it convenient how easy it is to keep them away from the others in the beginning.

He doesn’t like to share all that much, after all, his Paps being the only exception. A territorial bitty reader would most likely feel the same.

It’s nice having more time with them. He doesn’t even have to be all that discrete with it. Why sneak off to his room when he can keep them tucked away in his shirt? He would absolutely hide them in a pocket or a pouch hung around his neck and tucked securely down the hollow of his ribcage.

Axe would also be more willing to commentate the goings on around them this way, opening more opportunities for casual conversation. It would help them bond a lot faster beyond savior and rescuee. In a way, Axe would become more relaxed and less snappy around others to keep his little treat safe. (don’t want to get into an altercation where reader could get dislodged or smashed…) It also makes him a lot more dangerous should someone else get ahold of reader.

However, Axe wouldn’t be as balanced emotionally with a bitty reader. Like a double-edged sword, he would be calmer with them but more volatile should something go wrong. The stakes would be bigger in this scenario. There would be a more likely outcome for others getting truly hurt.

In short: Axe will be calmer to be around, reader would stay hidden a lot longer, and more mysterious shenanigans would happen around the ship. Don’t tick Axe off. He will be far less likely to hold back…

#my writing #ask #anonymous #sea of hope #Axe #reader bitty #horrortale sans x reader #horrortale sans #horrotale #sans #undertale #x reader #heaven forbid someone touches little snack #doggo was terrified before... #don't touch readers trinkets #they'll sick big Axe man on you #can anyone say bipolar?

[princessviana]

Inkbound

Chapter 3

Pairings:

Yandere Taehyung x OC x Yandere Jungkook

Warning: This story is a work of fanfiction and is purely a product of the author's imagination. It does not depict any real-life events or individuals. While some characters may be inspired by real-life idols, their portrayal in this story is fictional and not representative of their true selves. Please note that this story may contain triggering content, including themes of abuse, gore, murder, humiliation, bullying, rape, and other mature and dark themes. Reader discretion is advised, especially for those under the age of 18. If you are uncomfortable with such content, it is recommended to refrain from reading and kindly disregard this story.

Fae laughed softly, her eyes twinkling as she closed them and savored the warmth and serenity of the water in the bathtub. The scent of rose petals filled the air, and delicate candles flickered, creating a soothing atmosphere.

She allowed herself to relax, momentarily forgetting the strange and unsettling situation she found herself in.

In the midst of her peaceful immersion,

'Noona.'

Fae was startled back to reality upon hearing her brother's voice. Her eyes flew open, and she sat up abruptly in the bathtub, desperately looking around hoping to catch a glimpse of her brother,and this made her got teary in longing to her family.

"Jae," she whispered, her voice laced with both longing and sadness.She couldn't help but cry once more. She yearned for her family, yearned for the familiarity and comfort they provided. In this moment, all she wanted was to escape the clutches of the dark magic or whatever force had transported her into this unpredictable realm.

The sound of a gentle knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, bringing her back to the present.

"Young Madam, your friend Gia is here."

Fae turned her attention towards the door, slightly disoriented as she tried to remember the this particular character.

"Gia?" she murmured to herself. The name eventually clicked in her mind.

' Gia was one of Yana's close friends, someone who had always stood up for her, especially during times when someone was bullying Yana, especially those two. Memories of Yana clinging to the two men whom Fae now despised flooded her mind. They were undoubtedly attractive, but their hearts were far from desirable.'

"I'll be there in a minute," Fae replied to the maid's announcement. She stood up, wrapping herself in a fluffy bathrobe, and efficiently dried herself before getting dressed in comfortable clothes.

As Fae descended the stairs slowly, she caught sight of Gia, a character from the book, sitting on the couch. Gia looked up and see her friend that made her rushing towards Fae with open arms. Fae instinctively reciprocated the embrace, enveloping Gia in a warm hug.

"Oh God! I was so worried about you when I heard what happened! You stupid girl!" Gia chastised, playfully smacking Fae's head. Fae winced at the impact, rubbing the spot where Gia had struck her.

"Don't ever do that again! How many times do I have to tell you to stop being infatuated with those two jerks? They won't like you back!" Gia scolded, her voice infused with a caring, motherly tone. Fae chuckled in response.

"Yes, I won't make that mistake again," Fae declared with determination, surprising Gia to the core. This was the first time Fae had spoken with such conviction, and it resonated deeply.

Fae understood the reason behind her response. In the story, Yana would become furious and would throw tantrums when her friends expressed similar sentiments, feeling unsupported.

"Wait...can you repeat what you just said?" Gia requested, seeking confirmation. Fae playfully rolled her eyes before repeating her declaration.

"I said I will no longer be a naive girl running after a man for attention. We girls should not be the ones pursuing men; it should be the other way around...after us."

Fae walked towards the nearby couch, gracefully taking a seat and crossing her legs. Gia joined her on the opposite side, pouring a cup of tea for each of them.

"To the new you?" Gia proposed, raising her cup. Fae accepted the cup, her heart brimming with pride. They both lifted their cups towards the air as a symbolic toast to a fresh start.

"To the new me," Fae echoed before they both took a sip, savoring the warm liquid. They engaged in a conversation, allowing Fae to gather as much information as possible within the confinements of this strange world. She needed these details to plan her next steps effectively.

However, deep within her core, Fae continued to yearn for an escape from this madness. She held onto the hope of breaking free from this realm as soon as possible.

....

Fae woke up as the mansion was bustling, filled with maids and butlers scurrying around, more than she had ever seen before during her time here.

She stood near the elegant staircase, observing the flurry of activity as the staff cleaned and prepared for something she couldn't comprehend.

Curiosity piqued, Fae approached one of the maids who held a white cloth in her arms. The maid immediately bowed, eyes downcast, causing Fae to frown, but she quickly got to the point of her inquiry.

"What's going on?" she asked softly, trying not to startle the timid maid. She had noticed that many of the maids were afraid of her, likely due to her resemblance to Yana, but Fae had come to understand their fear.

The maid glanced up briefly, her eyes wide, before clearing her throat and responding, "Um, young madam, it's Young Master Jeon's birthday tomorrow. As you can see, everyone is busy preparing for the party."

Fae nodded in understanding. "I see," she replied, dismissing the maid with a wave of her hand. Boredom washed over her as she watched everyone diligently work on the party preparations.

"Bored?"

A voice from behind startled her, causing her to turn and glare at the smirking figure before her. She quickly stepped back, keeping her guard up, that made the man frown at her sudden action.

"What is it to you?" Fae retorted fiercely, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms defensively. The man scoffed and took slow steps towards her that made her step back more,intensifying Fae's apprehension.

"Y-yah!" Fae's voice trembled as she looked behind her, only to widen her eyes in fear. The staircase was just a few steps away, and if this man had any ill intentions, she could fall to her demise. The memories of what Yana had done to these people in the past flooded her mind, and she knew this man could be just as ruthless.

"I'm here to warn you, Yana," he whispered ominously, causing Fae to turn back and gaze at him in terror. Thankfully, he stopped walking, but the proximity still made Fae feel like death was closing in.

"Don't you dare pull any tricks on my birthday, understood?" he continued, his eyes now filled with murderous intent as he slammed his hands on the railing. Fae flinched at the sudden aggression, gripping onto his black jacket in sheer desperation to keep her balance.

"I won't even attend tomorrow because Namjoon and I have plans—"

Overwhelmed with distress and desperation to escape, Fae burst out, not considering the consequences of her words.

"What?"

The man stared at her, momentarily speechless.

'She's not going? She's going to ditch my birthday with that man? How dare she—wait, maybe it's for the best—'

"Jungkook—"

Their attention shifted downward as a new voice emerged. Nara stood at the foot of the stairs. Jungkook backed away from Fae as if she were a dangerous object, unknowingly causing her to lose her balance and fall to the ground thankfully not on the staircase. She winced in pain as her knees hit the tiled floor, tears streaming down her face at the painful impact.

Jungkook didn't spare her a glance as he descended the stairs and hastily led Nara away, fearing that Fae, or Yana as they assumed, may hurt Nara again.

Left alone, Fae silently cried, clutching her throbbing knees, feeling the burn of the fall.

Fae wiped away her tears as she gently caressed her aching knees, now bruised and swollen. Lost in her pain, she didn't notice someone crouching beside her until they reached out and lifted her off the floor. Startled, she let out a shriek, her eyes meeting the gaze of the same man who had intervened earlier to prevent her escape two days ago.

She looked down, unable to comprehend why the pain she felt in her knees was causing such deep heartache. Her chest throbbed with an intensity she couldn't understand as she witnessed Jungkook leaving her in pain, not bothering to look back as he rushed away with Nara. Fae didn't love him, but she understood now that the woman whose body she inhabited held strong feelings for him. It frustrated her that she couldn't control the emotions that surged within her in this unfamiliar vessel.

Leaning against the man's broad shoulders, Fae silently cried, but the man remained silent, steering her away to some unknown destination. Anywhere was better than staying in that place,as she can't take the pain anymore.

The man's voice cut through the silence, his words heavy with concern as he gently laid Fae on the bed. Moving to the corner of the room, he retrieved ice cubes from a small fridge, wrapping them in a towel before tending to her bruised knee.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" he inquired softly, his gaze fixed on her as she stared down at her injury. Fae nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, it does," she admitted, her eyes reflecting the pain she felt.

"I'm not talking about your knees, I'm talking about what he did," the man's voice lowered, his tone filled with empathy as he knelt before her, applying the cold compress to her bruised skin. Fae's gaze drifted to the window, lost in a swirl of emotions.

"I hate it but can't help but feel it," Fae confessed, her voice tinged with sorrow and resignation. The man's chuckle cut through the somber atmosphere, his understanding evident in the way he comforted her.

Removing the ice pack, he settled beside her, a silent presence in her moment of turmoil. With a heavy sigh,

"I told you before,stop that before it escalate to you being hurt."

he reminded her of his earlier warnings.

Fae's brow furrowed at his words, suddenly her sight blurred and a memory like scene was flooding in her mind in a rush.

**

"Oppa,why can't you love me!"

A young girl's anguished cry pierced the air as she bursts though the door confronting a boy engrossed in his studies. Tears streaked her cheeks as she poured out her heart, demanding his love. His blank and cold ignorance ,shattered her hopes more, when he doesn't even react.

He sighed finally and looks at her with a blank look as always,

"Yana,we can't."

The boy said coldly that made her cry more.

"But I love you!and you said you love me too!"

She yelled at the boy who just sighed at her.

"Yes,I love you but as a sister."

He declared and looks away from her towards his books again.

Yana shook her head at his declaration and bursts out the door crying heavily at her first heartbreak.

She walks down the slowly through the dim lighted corridor as she whimpered and cries silently

In the shadows, another figure was standing that made Yana stop on her track and looks at the figure before rushing to the person who had now his arms opened wide, inviting her.

She hugs him tightly as she cried in his embrace.

"You should stop, Yana,before it hurts you more in the future."

***

Fae gasped as she sat up suddenly, as the scene before her dissolved into nothingness.

The man stood in front of her, his expression filled with concern as he observed her sudden awakening.

"Are you alright? You suddenly lost consciousness," he inquired, relief evident in his voice.

He reassured her that her father had understood and believed her need for rest, allowing her to take a nap. Fae nodded, feeling her heartbeat gradually calm as she noticed that night had descended upon the world outside. Time seemed to be passing more swiftly than she anticipated.

"Well, I should be going. Thank you, sir," Fae expressed her gratitude, rising from the bed. The man quirked a playful smile and stood up as well.

"Sir? What's with the formalities lately?" he chuckled, shaking his head lightly.

Fae blushed, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "Um, you see... I've been experiencing some memory loss after everything that has happened."

As she averted her gaze, the man's eyes softened. "Kim Seokjin... Yana, but you always just call me Jin."

Fae looked up, meeting his gaze. Memories flooded her thoughts and she acknowledged the connection Yana had with Jin.

"Yeah, Jin. Um, I should go then. Goodnight," Fae said, preparing to leave the room.

"Goodnight, Yana," Jin responded, watching her quietly as she stepped out through the door.

....

Fae stumbles through the dimly lit hallway, her steps cautious and filled with apprehension. The oppressive atmosphere weighs heavily on her, suffocating her with its darkness.

As she nears her room, a sudden jolt of terror strikes her. Powerful, rough hands clamp tightly over her mouth, silencing her cries for help. Another hand, large and forceful, wraps around her small waist, pulling her forcefully towards an unknown room.

Fae desperately struggles, her fingers clawing at the assailant's arms, but her efforts prove futile against the strength of her captor.

Finally released, Fae whirls around, hastily putting distance between herself and the man. Fear grips her every fiber, her heart pounding loudly at her chest. But the man advances, closing the gap between them with predatory intent. Every instinct in her screams to flee, to escape the clutches of this menacing figure.

Before Fae can scream for help, a sudden,sharp object grazes her neck, and she freezes, terror pulsing through her veins. She meets the man's gaze, her eyes widening as recognition dawns upon her.

"T-Taehyung?" Fae's voice quivers, her fear palpable in the darkness.

A sinister smile curls at the man's lips, his voice a dark venomous whisper.

"You whore."

The words cut through Fae like razor-sharp blades, causing tears to well up in her eyes. She trembles, unable to comprehend the depths of the darkness that now resides within Taehyung. The cold tip of the blade presses against her neck, drawing a thin line of blood. The metallic scent fills the air, intensifying the nightmare she finds herself in.

"When will you stop, huh?" Taehyung sneers, his voice dripping with malice and contempt.

Confusion and anguish cloud Fae's features, her voice breaking as she questions, "W-what did I do?"

Taehyung's laughter echoes through the room, a chilling sound that sends shivers down Fae's spine. He takes the knife, tracing its sharp edge across her delicate cheeks, leaving a trail of blood in its wake. Fae winces, feeling the warm crimson fluid oozing from her once flawless skin. She watches in horror as Taehyung's grin widens, the sadistic pleasure evident on his face, reveling in the sight of her pain and vulnerability.

"I hate it Yana,I hate you,I hate what's happening with you and I hate it even if it's just two days but I hate it so much,I hate it that I miss your presence tailing me everywhere."

Fae's heart pounded in her chest as Taehyung's confession poured forth, his words laced with anger and bitterness.

She whimpered, the weight of his hatred and words crashing down upon her. His sudden change in demeanor sent shockwaves through her, leaving her bewildered and scared.

'This can't be happening,' Fae's thoughts raced. 'He's not supposed to feel this way. Is he losing his mind? Is he mad?!This isn't what I planned.'

Suddenly Taehyung's hands clenched tightly around her neck, cutting off her air supply. She fought desperately to pry his fingers away, gasping for precious breaths.

With a cruel laugh, Taehyung finally released his grip, flinging her to the floor. Fae's body convulsed as she coughed, her lungs desperate for oxygen.

Through tear-filled eyes, Fae watched Taehyung draw nearer, his presence looming over her prone form. He caressed her bruised cheeks, a sinister control in his touch. He held her face with an iron grip, forcing her to meet his enraged gaze.

"What were you doing with Seokjin?" Taehyung's voice dripped with accusation, his glare piercing her soul.

"I-He was just helping me!" Fae responded, her words rushed and desperate, her hand instinctively reaching for his.

Taehyung scoffed, gritting his teeth in anger and... jealousy.

Yes he was jealous,and he doesn't like it even a bit.

He despised this woman, yet the absence of her presence over the past two days had unhinged him. He found himself going mad, yearning for her scent and seeking her out, only to witness her in another man's arms. It ignited a flame of possessiveness and jealousy within him, irrational and consuming.

He hated it.

Suddenly, the realization hit him like a lightning bolt — he missed her. He loathed the way she had followed him incessantly, but the void created by her absence had driven him to the brink of madness. When he finally glimpsed her in another man's embrace, his anger had boiled over, fueled by an unfamiliar jealousy that consumed him from within.

As he learned of Yana seeking solace in Seokjin's room, his anger grew. The scenarios playing out in his mind intensified his fury. Night fell, and the thought of her still with Seokjin tore at his sanity.

Now, in this dark moment, he confronted Fae, unable to rein in his anger any longer. His booming voice reverberated through the room as he accused her of whoring around. Fae flinched, cowering in the corner as she tried to escape his wrath.

Taehyung's glare bore into her, radiating contempt and frustration. With a final venomous glare, he stormed out of the room, leaving Fae trembling and broken in his wake.

He doesn't know what further he can do to that woman if he remained in close proximity to her.

....

Fae's eyes fluttered open, her vision adjusting to the soft glow of a warm light bathing the room. A groan escaped her lips as she tried to sit up, feeling a dull ache resonating throughout her body. Confusion clouded her mind as she surveyed her surroundings, realizing she was on the floor of what appeared to be one of the guest rooms.

A deep frown etched itself on Fae's face as she attempted to remember how she had ended up in this unfamiliar place.

But the memories flooded back with a jolt, and fear coursed through her veins. The man's twisted actions and unpredictable behavior lingered in her mind, and a shiver ran down her spine.

"That man...he's deranged," Fae whispered to herself, her voice trembling with a mixture of fear and realization.

As she recalled what happened last night, her heart raced with the intensity of her fright. This wasn't just a strange world she had stumbled into; this was now her reality, and she was living through the haunting nightmares that unfolded before her.

Fae couldn't bear to linger any longer, surrounded by this derange people and danger that seemed to lurk in every corner of this twisted realm. She knew she had to escape, to find a way back to her own life, away from the clutches of the darkness that threatened to consume her.

As Fae slipped out of the room, her eyes darted back and forth, being watchful to her sorrounding, afraid that man would came out of nowhere again and who knows this time he will kill her for good.

....

Fae let out a sigh of relief as she reached her bedroom door, her heart pounding in her chest. With a swift motion, she slammed the door shut and swiftly locked it.

She took a moment to catch her breath, her eyes scanning the room. As her gaze landed on the mirror, she couldn't help but be drawn to it, her reflection staring back at her with a mix of uncertainty and vulnerability. Tears welled up in her eyes, a flood of emotions overwhelming her as she took in her disheveled state. The bloodstains on her cheeks served as a painful reminder of the torment she had endured, and the realization hit her with a wave of despair.

Sobs escaped from Fae's trembling lips as tears streamed down her cheeks. The release of emotions brought a bittersweet relief, allowing her to process the trauma she had gone through. She despised the weakness she felt.

With a determined wipe of her tears, Fae scolded herself for wallowing in self-pity. She knew she had to regain her composure and take action.She entered her bathroom, ready to clean herself up and tend to her wounds. The water cascading from the faucet provided a soothing balm, washing away the dirt and scars that marred her skin.

Carefully, she dressed the wound on her neck, doing her best to conceal it from prying eyes.

Donning a jacket that provided some solace and hid her wounds, Fae looks at the window and took a deep breath.

Fae descended the staircase.The mansion was as always is bustling with maids as they get ready for the party tonight.

As she entered the dining room. The aroma of food wafted through the air.

She was grateful for the absence of others at the table.

As she silently ate her breakfast, a tremor ran through her when an abrupt impact shattered the stillness. A fist collided with the glass table, causing her to flinch instinctively. Fae's eyes darted up, only to see Jungkook,in a bad mood.

He pulled a chair infront of her,his mood evidently foul. Without even acknowledging her, he emanated a strong aura of displeasure. Fae hurriedly focused on her food, her heart racing, desperate to escape the intensity of his presence.

Her attempts to go unnoticed did not escape Jungkook's glaring eyes.His glare only intensified, his jaw clenched tightly together. A maid nervously served him the breakfast, aware of his turbulent mood. She knew the consequences of provoking him were dire. When Yana finished eating, she quickly rose from her seat, purposefully avoiding any interaction with the seething man.

This action was the final catalyst for Jungkook. He abruptly stood, anger coursing through his veins like a raging storm. He violently swept his arm across the table, sending dishes and silverware crashing to the floor. The room erupted in gasps of fear as Fae recoiled, her heart pounding in her chest.

"You!" Jungkook's voice thundered, directing his fury towards one of the terrified maids who stood on the brink of tears. The room fell into an expectant silence, awaiting his harsh words.

"Clean this up with your fucking hands, and don't you dare use any cleaning supplies!" he bellowed, his anger reverberating through the air.

Indignation blazed within Fae as she couldn't bear witness to his outbursts any longer. She couldn't control the impulse that overtook her.

"Yah!Jeon Jungkook can you stop with your spoiled tantrums!" Fae yelled, her voice laced with incredulity. However, regret quickly washed over her as she beheld the fire in Jungkook's murderous gaze now focused on her. She gulped, realizing the dangerous predicament she had placed herself in.

Fae screamed in terror,her voice echoed through the dinning room as Jungkook lunged towards her, his grip tightening around her arms, cutting off her desperate pleas for him to let her go.

Tears suddenly streamed down her face uncontrollably, a mixture of fear, pain, and trauma flooding her senses. This twisted and abusive treatment went beyond anything she had ever experienced before, shattering the illusion of safety and love that had surrounded her in her world.

Her cries grew louder as he forcefully dragged her down a dimly lit staircase, the shadows obscuring their path. Panic consumed her as she realized that he was leading her into the depths of darkness, to a place even more terrifying than her imagination could conjure. She sobbed, her voice echoing off the walls of the basement, begging him to release her, to show mercy.

But her pleas fell on deaf ears, met with brutality instead. In a moment of cruel force, he struck her with a resounding slap, sending her tumbling to the ground. The pain seared through her, intensifying her fear as she crumpled in a sobbing heap. Desperation gripped every ounce of her being as she surveyed the darkened room, her heart pounding with a primal terror.

Her cries escalated, reaching a crescendo of anguish as she watched a large spider slowly crawling towards her. Its grotesque form instilled a primal fear within her, triggering her deepest phobia. With a surge of terror, she scrambled towards the door, desperate to escape. But her hopes were crushed as Jungkook maliciously locked the door from the outside, leaving her trapped in the suffocating darkness.

Fae's cries turned into desperate pleas, her voice hoarse and filled with sheer desperation. She banged on the door, her pleas echoing through the basement, calling out for anyone to hear and rescue her. Yet, her appeals were met with silence. Her heart sank as the realization set in – she was alone, abandoned in this nightmarish place.

With each passing moment, Fae's strength waned, her tears drying as exhaustion washed over her. Fear still gripped her, but her body could no longer sustain the consuming panic. She slowly slid down to the cold, hard floor, her trembling body succumbing to the overwhelming darkness and the traumatic events that had unfolded. Her eyes now finally shuts,as she finally gets unconscious.

Jungkook's blank face contorted into a sickening grin, reveling in the power he held over Fae.

When it finally gets quiet in the basement he grins wide.

It's really sick in the head to admit but he's feeling euphoria in seeing her reduced to such a helpless state.

He relished the torment, the manipulation of her fears that had consumed him with a dark delight.He really loves to see her in this state.

Helpless.

With a psychopathic laugh, Jungkook slowly descended the stairs, creaking them with each deliberate step. He swung the door open, revealing Fae lying unconscious on the cold basement floor. A sinister gleam danced in his eyes as he observed her vulnerable state, relishing in the control he held over her.

He couldn't help but revel in his madness, fueled by a cocktail of emotions that consumed him. A mixture of anger, jealousy, and possessiveness swirled within him.

First,it was childish to say but he can't help but feel mad when she didn't greet him on his special day. Especially when he grows accustomed to her being the first one to greet him.

Then,how dare she to not attend his birthday party later,just to have a plan with someone,it fueled his anger more, as if she had dismissed his significance entirely.

But what drove him to the brink of insanity was her ditching his Birthday Party celebration with another man, and that too,Kim Namjoon. The jealousy burned deep within him, consuming him like an unquenchable fire.

He despised the notion of someone taking away what he considered his.

It shattered his carefully crafted control, awakening emotions he never thought he would feel.

It was a concoction of jealousy, possessiveness, and an unsettling desire to possess her.

Even with his past encounters and relationships, none had evoked such a visceral reaction within him as Fae's connection with another man.

He had never felt this level of jealousy before, not even with Nara, despite the numerous individuals who harbored feelings for that woman.

This newfound feeling awakened a dark side within him, threatening to consume him entirely.

As Jungkook knelt beside Fae's unconscious form, his eyes locked onto her face. A twisted need swelled within him, a desire to break her and make her his own. Madness danced on the edges of his consciousness, as he reveled in the control he possessed over her, the power to torture her with her fears and terrors.

The basement was engulfed in an eerie silence, broken only by the soft sound of his manic laughter. Madness enveloped him as he assessed the woman, his mind swirling with dark desires and intentions.

Jungkook couldn't explain this newfound possessiveness that gripped him, engulfing his thoughts and fueling his actions. It was as if an unyielding force had taken hold of him, driving him to claim and possess Fae in a way he had never experienced before.

With a heavy sigh, he cradled her unconscious form in his strong, tattooed arms, his steps purposeful as he ascended the stairs. The maids in the corridor looked on, a mix of fear and apprehension radiating from their trembling figures. Their gazes focused on Fae, the young madam who lay limp in Jungkook's grasp.

Pausing for a moment, Jungkook glared at the maids, and this now made them scramble away, afraid that they will be the next to receive his wrath.

...

He slowly pushed open the door to her bedroom, his movements deliberate and controlled. Gently, he placed Fae back onto her bed, his gaze fixated on her unconscious figure.

Standing up straight, Jungkook momentarily stared at her before turning towards the door. He paused, casting a final glance at the room, his presence lingering with a sense of foreboding.

"No way out, Princess," he whispered, a sinister tone lacing his words. With that final declaration, he locked the door from the outside, sealing Fae within her own chambers.

A dark smile curled upon his lips as he walked away, his steps confident and deliberate. Whistling a haunting, melodic tune as he walks away from the room.

#bangtan #bts #bts v #jeon jungkook #kim taehyung #love #bts ot7 #possessive #psychopath #obsessed bts #angst #psycho Taehyung #yandere taehyung #jungkook yandere #yandere jungkook #bipolar #yandere x reader #yandere bts #bts yandere

[bugs1nmybrain]

Bipolar!Shigaraki Tomura Headcanons

I'm writing it. Because I CAN

Before I start, I am writing these headcanons as someone who has been diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1 for almost three years now. I frankly could not care less if people don't think he has Bipolar Disorder, I'm writing this for my comfort and that of others who either have Bipolar disorder or just resonate with the idea that Tomura does.

and I'm also very aware of Bipolar Disorder being stigmatized as something that affects "bad" people. I'm not trying to suggest this, but that Tomura is someone who is neglected of treatment.

Warning: Bipolar disorder as title suggests (Tomura's symptoms relate to type 1 more), talks of depression, mania, psychosis, suicidality, etc, angst?

Tomura has never been given a formal diagnosis and likely has no clue that he has bipolar disorder himself. He doesn't know much about it, either, other then the stereotype that people with general mood swings are "so bipolar."

The doctor knows, AFO does too, but for them, they see it as more ammo for their arsenal to make sure Tomura's life is nothing but agony. He's never been treated with medications or therapy. Nothing.

Because he isn't medicated, his episodes are pretty strong. His manic episodes sort of blend in with his everyday behavior to a lot of people.

It's during this time that he finds himself planning out grand operations against the heroes. Some of his ideas seem unrealistic and not well thought out. They're more just ideas thrown around, and he jumps to gather people and means to carry out his goal before actually having a calculated plan.

He's up all night doing this. But if he's not, he's likely gaming. He huddles up in his room with multiple cans of energy drinks (as if he didn't already have way too much energy).

(semi-canon) will text his comrades at godforsaken hours either asking, demanding, or just rambling about stuff. If he gets an answer, the recipient often finds themself confused because Tomura just talks and talks and talks, and when he's in the heat of some plan or project he doesn't really stop to compose his sentences or even take a damn breath.

He impulsively buys things, like copious amounts of in-game purchases. Or DoorDash. If he's feeling reeeaaal bold he'll go for a whole-ass gaming console if he can, even if his current one is perfectly fine. Or assembling as many thugs as he can and feeling generous enough to overpay them when they definitely don't need the amount of money he's giving them.

You can see how when AFO was arrested, his lifestyle shifted in this regard.

Tomura is already an irritable guy, and so his mania can make it worse. He gets very overstimulated with all of his sensations that little things, like accidentally stubbing his toe, can make him mad as fuck for a good thirty minutes.

He also gets very paranoid about others. When he talks to people, he's already convinced that they are tricking him somehow and he'll read every cue he can to confirm it, even if the proof isn't even there.

Even when he's out in public and by himself, he thinks everyone is mocking, judging, and looking at him. That also comes with being the most wanted villain around, but that's beside the point.

When something finally goes his way, he is HAPPY. Sometimes the League will catch Tomura smiling his face off for no apparent reason (odd for him), and will ask what's up, only for Tomura to CACKLE back with, "ehehAHAH NOTHING!! THAT's just IT!"

They look at each other like, but just let him go about his day. They'll later hear him giggling to himself in his room, and sometimes talking to himself. He'll deny and just tell them he was on chat (his devices are not open and he is standing in the middle of his room).

Because he's not medicated, his mania can trickle into psychotic symptoms. Especially if he's going through more stress than typical. He hears voices that tell him mean things. Sometimes they're the voices of his dead family.

And because he doesn't sleep much, he sees detailed shadows and things moving that aren't. It disturbs him, but he accepts it and tries to just push on. But sometimes if he hears voices more than he'd like, he gets sad and has to grip his head and whisper "shut up shut up shut up" to negate them.

He's delusional, too. AFO's grooming and constant monitoring of his whole life have definitely emphasized his distrust of everything around him. Sometimes he'll think that the people he's gaming with online are secret hero spies trying to get him to reveal himself. He also has a fear that someone is watching him in every location, and he'll think that even the silliest things are cameras or microphones, or that those around him are also spies. Later on, it becomes paranoia that his master is everywhere.

Then comes the doom of depression

For Tomura, he's technically always depressed. But when he goes into a depressive episode, he's pretty lifeless.

He's complacent about his goals. Sometimes he'll get a tiny idea that makes his brain go !, but then he thinks of all the planning behind it and immediately slouches down on any nearby furniture

He'll lay in bed for a long period of time doing nothing. Sometimes he'll try to play a game on his phone but he gets bored quick.

Tends to eat more during this time because it's the only joy he can get. And he gets bored. He is SO BORED

Anhedonia is a bitch

His brain dwells and rambles, yet his thoughts don't make sense to him? He's constantly thinking about how fucked up his life is, how better other villains are, and how much he hates All Might and heroes altogether. He tells himself that if it wasn't for all of that he wouldn't feel this way (relating to the depressive episode).

It overwhelms him and he tries to sleep it off, but he's somehow so depressed that he's UNCOMFORTABLE. His itching gets bad.

He is very suicidal during this time and hurts himself to try and subside it. If you asked him his reason for living, he'd tell you "to see this world crumble." But he's too busy crumbling in his bed.

Psychotic symptoms can occur during his depression, too. Especially if he hasn't slept.

His lack of medication usually causes him to swap back to mania somewhat soon (2 months or so). He definitely has rapid cycles.

Because his condition isn't managed, his brain is sort of in an in-an-out stance when it comes to his literal sanity. He has moments where he can definitely be level-headed (he gets rrly confident when he notices it) but when his anger and stress fuel him more than usual, he spirals and quite literally sees red. Sometimes he can't even tell if he's dreaming or not. Often mistakes the date and day of the week.

:(

I might write a fic of the reader comforting bipolar tomura. I don't think I've ever seen a fic like that for any character.

#shigaraki tomura #shigaraki tomura headcanons #tomura shigaraki #tenko shimura #shigaraki headcanons #bipolar shigaraki #the league of villains #shiggy #shigaraki x reader

[romeulusroy]

Imagine standing up for your husband Kendall:

"Kendall is mentally ill. He's insane."

"He's my husband." The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them. Fuck. Why the fuck would you say anything? You think, another part of you answering: because you need to stand up for him. You love him, with all his faults. No one, not even his father, can speak about him like that. The four of them look at you, stunned silent. Connor bites his nails, a nervous habit he never truly grew out of it. Roman stands frozen, eyes wide, readying himself for what's about to come. Only Shivs gaze can meet your own, warning you to stay quiet. Logan turns to you, his expression curious, deadly.

"What did you say?" He asks, and then again, emphasizing say. Logan didn't have to get up to have such a daunting presence. He'd scared the shit out of you for years now. His children cowered in his shadow. They were petrified of him, including Kendall. You had no respect for him. He was a cruel man who belittled and beat his children in the name of parenthood. Your husband was struggling. He was off again, on a high, manic, and all he had to say was that he was crazy. He needed help. He needed someone to talk him down. Instead, he was ignoring you, ignoring your advice, setting his life in flames. He didn't need criticism he needed his family. You looked him in the eye as you spoke, your words thick and heavy like stones.

"I said he's my husband and you will not talk about him like that."

#kendall roy #kendall roy imagine #kendall roy x reader #logan roy #logan roy imagine #logan roy x reader #succession #succession imagine #succession x reader #i know hes not #but i understand his ups and downs #since there are so many ups and downs with bipolar disorder #just a thought #ennasfavorites

[floralcyanide]

𝐄𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 ⊹ 𝐄𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐲

Ethan Landry x Gender Neutral!Reader

Ethan is in love with you. But you aren't real.

warnings: visual and auditory hallucinations, psychosis, bipolar disorder, descriptions of such topics, one-sided feelings (technically)

word count: 1015

author's note: helloooo here is a little thing I wrote. I personally have bipolar disorder and have experienced psychosis. it's terrifying but I'm medicated for it now. I have had auditory hallucinations but have never had visual ones. if you suspect you're in psychosis or feel unsafe, please talk to someone.

masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here

this fic has been cross posted to ao3.

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.

Ethan scrubs his scalp, sighing as the hot water hits his back just right. It was late at night, probably in the AM at this point. He had accidentally fallen asleep on the couch and slept the whole evening away. Ethan needed the rest, though. He’s been severely depressed and on the verge of a psychotic episode. His episodes were relatively tame- he would lash out sometimes, but it wasn’t as bad as it used to be. He also had trouble sleeping but would eventually get his sleep routine back in check. Ethan also had weird hallucinations, seeing shadows in the corner of his eye and hearing his name being called when no one was there. And sometimes, although rarely nowadays, he’d see you. But then, shortly after his psychosis ended, you’d be gone.

As Ethan starts conditioning his hair, he hears weird things downstairs again. He chalks it up to his roommate, Chad, being awake still with some of his friends. But then he remembers Chad has an exam in the morning and would be asleep by now. Ethan ignores the sounds, hoping it’s his brain playing tricks on him with the sound of the shower water running. Once he starts running his soap over his body, he hears his name being called.

Ethan yanks the shower curtain open, checking to see if anyone is in the locked bathroom with him. He knows it’s locked because he checked several times, not because of OCD or anything, but because having a roommate means being walked in on if you aren’t careful. Ethan was glad that he only had bipolar disorder and the anxiety, depression, and other symptoms that came with that. He doesn’t know how he’d live having OCD. Bipolar is enough, especially with the super fun psychotic episodes that lasted weeks to months or the mania that was the same way. Ethan is lost in his thoughts as he rinses himself off and almost doesn’t hear his name being called again. Almost.

He sighs and turns off the shower, sliding the curtain open before grabbing his towel. He unlocks and opens the door to see the entire apartment is pitch black. No one is there. He begins to dry himself off, trying to ignore his name being faintly called. Ethan decides he needs to tell his doctor to up his medication dosage when he sees him next week. But the thing is, he doesn’t want to. 

“What do you want?” Ethan whispers to his reflection in the mirror, glancing behind him, waiting for the inevitable.

After waiting a minute, he tears his eyes away from the mirror to get dressed. Once he finishes, he returns to the mirror and nearly jumps out of his skin.

“Took you long enough.”

You’re standing there behind Ethan, just barely visible. Your voice is hushed and almost inaudible. The hallucinations of you that he used to get aren’t nearly as severe anymore. Ethan used to be able to touch you and feel you there. Sometimes he misses that.

“You aren’t supposed to be here, Y/N.”

“I know. But I’m still here, aren’t I?” you lay your head on his shoulder, looking at your reflections in the glass. 

Ethan can no longer feel your chin against his skin, your breath on his neck, or hear your voice quite as loudly as before.

“You’re fading,” Ethan wants to reach up for you, but he knows he won’t feel you there.

The longer he takes his medicine, the less frequent and less intense the hallucinations are. But he needed something stronger for you to go away completely. But he isn’t sure he wants that. He already misses you enough, although he’s starting to learn to live without you now.

“Yeah,” you sigh, pulling away from him, “But I’ll always be here,” you say, pointing at his heart.

Ethan feels his eyes burn with tears. Even though you aren’t real, something about you is. And that will always stay with him. He thinks the death of his brother and what he had done is what conjured you up. A psychotic break. One that was tapering off but still intense enough. But now that Ethan has a therapist, those feelings of unwavering anger, unforgiveness, sadness, grief, denial, and so on aren’t as bad. And when they were was when he’d see you the most.

“Your brother loves you, Ethan,” you say sadly, “He’d want what is best for you, you know.”

“And what would that be?” Ethan asks, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes to force the tears away.

“For you to let go and say goodbye.”

Ethan’s hand flies away from his eyes as they snap open. He looks down at you; you’re as real and visible as ever. Just as you were when you first appeared. Ethan hesitantly reaches out to touch your hair, and he cries when he feels the strands. He knows what you’re insinuating.

“I don’t want to,” Ethan frowns, his eyes looking into yours, drinking in their color because he knows this is the last time he’ll see them again.

“You have to, or you’ll never get better,” you pull Ethan’s hand from your hair and to your face, pressing his palm into your cheek.

You lean into his touch one last time.

“I will always love you,” you whisper.

“I love you too,” Ethan whispers back, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

He sighs, opening his eyes. You’re gone.

When Ethan wakes up the next morning, the apartment is eerily silent. For the first time in months, he doesn’t hear his brain buzzing constantly. And he doesn’t see you or hear you anymore. When Ethan tells his doctor about you, he’s concerned but dismisses it as he is no longer hallucinating. He puts Ethan on something stronger for his bipolar disorder and psychotic episodes. Ethan tells himself this is for his own good, and that you were never real. But the love he felt for you over the last 9 months was real. And he would never take that back.

#ethan landry #ethan landry x you #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x gender neutral reader #ghostface #scream #scream 6 #scream 2023 #slasher #ethan landry fanfiction #ethan landry fanfic #ethan landry fic #ethan landry imagine #angst #tw psychosis #tw hallucinations #ghostface fic #scream fanfiction #scream fanfic #scream fic #ghostface fanfiction #ghostface fanfic #slasher fic #floralcyanide writes #tw bipolar disorder

[melloween-candie]

Yandere Ian

Ian Gallagher as a Yandere Headcanon

A/n - We all know Ian's bipolar; however, mix that with crazy yandere behavior, and you have yourself a menace. (I mean, he did kidnap a baby-)

Warning! Spoilers, Yandere behavior, Mental issues, Mention of traumatizing, Uncomfortable, Bipolar behavior, Unhealthy relationship attachment, Addiction, Mention of stalking, Trespassing/breaking and entering, Thief, Sexual activity, Depression, Guilt tripping, Clingy, Envy, Self-harm, Isolation, Anger issues, Mention of kidnapping, Manipulation, Murder, Possessive, Paranoia, Violence, Mention of ignoring, Delusional, Obsession, Sexual torture, Mention of rape, Slight mention of kinks, Selfish, Trust issues, Neediness, Mention of drugging, Force relationship

Word count: 1,260

[Male reader]

Shameless Masterlist

Fandom Masterlists

Ian Not on his Meds

[Yandere type: Physico]

I feel like he'd be the type to do something wrong without even realizing it. For example, he left the oven on when he left the house because he wanted his food to be cooking while he made a quick stop somewhere.

Would definitely traumatize you more than once-

Before Ian became Yandere you worried about him.

You were also secretly worried for yourself too. I mean having to constantly be on edge because you weren't sure what your boyfriend/friend was going to do next was unsettling since you knew he can either hurt himself or others.

You were never fully able to relax around him and it scared you. Him, being bipolar and refusing treatment was probably what caused you to end the relationship (friendship or not)

This would trigger Ian's yandere behavior.

Especially if you guys date or have known each other for a long time.

Mind you before all this at some point during your friendship- Ian has always had strangely strong feelings for you.

He could just never get you out of his mind.

This caused him to stalk you. It was so bad to the point where he would sneak into your house- steal your things; get a little freaking with them and then proceed to give them back, acting as if he found them for you when you were looking for them for a whole week.

He would first beg you not to leave him.

He would definitely sulk and moan for hours praying you won't go, and he'd say stuff like

"I'll do whatever you say jus-Just don't leave me!"

If you try to give him a second chance, he'd become extremely clingy for who knows how long.

He'd become more jealous with time too.

But if his begging didn't work and you refused his love

He'd become extremely depressed.

Wouldn't leave the bed or eat.

He wouldn't even look at anyone or anything apart from the pictures of you he has saved on his phone.

But eventually, if that doesn't get you to worry about him or get back with him, then he'd become extremely furious.

He'd yell at you thinking you didn't actually care about him at all.

He wouldn't necessarily kidnap you at that moment, but once he finds out you have another partner/friend to 'replace' him- that's when he snaps.

Would pretend that all that manipulation he tried to pull on you from the past three months never happened.

He'd act like you guys never split, and if you were only friends, he would confess to you.

It wouldn't matter what you say to his confession. He'd force you to be his boyfriend no matter what.

Would most likely lock you up downstairs and he'd kill your other boyfriend

Afterwards, he'd grow to be very possessive of you.

He would be even more clingy- so clingy that he won't even leave the room so long as you're in it.

This causes his family to realize something is wrong.

He would grow so paranoid-

So much so to the point where he won't leave the house.

He'd board up all the windows.

Once his family figures out what's going on, he wouldn't hesitate to leave with you.

If you fight him, he'll just knock you out.

Then he would lightly tap your cheek lovingly when you woke up as if he didn't just give you a huge bruise hours ago.

Don't even bother trying to talk him out of all this.

He wouldn't listen to you at all-, saying you hate him and won't even work.

He'd be in a total state of high- thinking that he's living in paradise all because you're with him and no one can take you away.

If you escaped, he'd panic so HARD. He literally WON'T stop looking for you.

He would go on for days without eating or sleeping just to find you.

Once he does, he'd fu*k the sense out of you, and not in a good way.

He'd probably deny you of any, please.

Tease the fu*k out of you and just use you as a toy for his relief because of the pain you put him through.

He wouldn't even care if you refused- in fact, he'd probably like it. If anything, he'd just think you had some kind of kink for it.

One thing's for sure he's kinky for you.

His dream is that one day you'd stop being so shy about your feelings for him and just accept the fact that this was your future- living with him in the middle of nowhere, and the only thing you can do is accept and love him back.

Ian On his Meds

[Yandere type: Abusive]

He would be aware of what he was doing, unlike when he's not on meds.

He wouldn't even feel bad- The only thing going on in his mind is to ensure he doesn't get caught.

He knows or at least has a feeling that he makes you uncomfortable.

At first, he would be somewhat charming and flirty, but then he'd slowly turn into a yandere- of course, he'd turn faster than lip but slower than when he isn't on his meds.

He would slowly become jealous over time.

He wouldn't be able to get you out of his mind- he wouldn't completely understand this feeling. He'd just think that he likes you- a lot!

He'd start to stalk you. I mean, like, REALLY stalk you. Eventually, this would lead to him sneaking into your house. He'd start to steal things from you. Small things that you would overlook. He's smart enough to do that.

With the stuff he stole... He'd make a small shrine in the middle of an abandoned place in the woods.

That's the place where he'd prepared for you once he kidnaps you.

He tried his best to make it extremely comfortable, but he isn't rich, and he doesn't trust the government (With him being tracked by the military and everything)

He'd prefer to just make a home from scratch- out of the world's radar.

It was no option for you; once Ian became a yandere for you, you're bound to get kidnapped one way or another.

With him being extremely jealous and having lots of needs, he won't be able to lay his hands off you or calm down when someone touches you.

He NEEDS you to be JUST his and ONLY his; if he has to, he will FORCE you too.

If he has to force you into s*x, so be it.

If he needs to force, you to eat- done.

If he has to drug you so you'd sleep- so, be it.

Overall, he would force you to be with him- even when he didn't kidnap you yet.

When he flirts with you, it would always make you uncomfortable.

Especially when you told him you had a boyfriend already.

This ticked him off so much. But of course, he didn't show it to you- however your boyfriend, on the other hand- let's just say he isn't in the picture any longer.

They'd later find his body in the sewers, and it'll be badly deformed. Let's just say as you cry, he was there to make you happy.

If you ended up falling for him, then everything would go great. He might not even kidnap you. But of course, eventually, you will learn of his true nature, and soon enough, he will kidnap you. No matter what.

A/n

Overall, I'd honestly much rather have Yandere Ian on his meds than when he's not caused if he wasn't, then you would never be able to know what he'd do, especially if he just randomly brought a kid home and called it 'ours.' (That kid would be so frightened 😭)

#shameless #shameless fans #ian gallagher #ian x male reader #ian gallagher x male reader #yandere ian gallagher #yandere ian #fanfiction #yandere #yandere behavior #mental issues #mention of traumatizing #uncomfortable #bipolar behavior #bipolar #unhealthy relationship attachment #unhealthy relationship #addiction #stalking #trespassing #breaking and entering #breaking in #thief #depression #guilt tripping #clingy

[ben-c-group-therapy]

AN: This fic is purely self-indulgent! I needed it at this time Sorry for my grammar and poorly written story. It was off the cuff.

TW’s: If any of the following are likely or even remotely possible to trigger you PLEASE DO NOT READ BELOW! Depression; Mania; Manic Depressive; Bipolar disorder; Self Harm Scars; Self Harm Thoughts; Suicidal Thoughts; Mental Illness.

WC: 1,808

“Have you ever felt so alone even when you’re surrounded by people?” You looked up at Nick, thick tears gathering in your eyes at the admission of how you were handling life and all its highs and lows currently.

Nick felt his heart break as he looked down at you, curled up on your oversized comfy sofa. As he had come into the apartment an hour ago after not hearing from you all day and not seeing you at work, he noticed your place was eerily quiet save for a few sniffles coming from the living room. The place seemed almost untouched, with no dishes in the sink, no drinking glasses anywhere, or the water bottle you carried around faithfully. The only place that seemed lived in at all was the living room, where it appeared you had camped out the last couple of days at least. A blanket tossed haphazardly over the back of the couch, takeout boxes on the coffee table, and a couple of plastic water bottles on the floor. It was very apparent to Nick you weren’t feeling well mentally and in a dark place.

Nick exhaled a shaky breath before taking a tentative seat on the sofa beside you. He knew you well enough to know that when in a state like this you wanted your space but you needed him close by too.

“Yeah…yeah Hermosa I have.” He sighed. “I don’t know how you’re currently feeling or what you’re dealing with baby but I’ve felt that way. Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours.” The handsome hazelnut-eyed detective let his hand reach out towards you, holding it over your thigh. “When did you first start feeling this way? Hmm?” He spoke softly, his voice full of concern.

“I don’t know. Everything just snowballed.” You sniffled and looked up to the ceiling as tears welled even further in your eyes while you tried not to cry openly, always wanting to remain strong on the outside for everyone else. Nick though…Nick saw right through it all. He always had and always would and as he did he pulled you to him, into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you; his large hand on your head soothing down your hair before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

Nick had been in your life for nearly five years now, at first only a partner at work but now your boyfriend for nearly a year after you both confessed your feelings after an argument after a frustrating week and a huge disagreement. You had yelled at him your feelings and he stared at you dumbfounded, never believing anything so good could happen to him, so good as to have you have the same feelings he felt for you, that is. That was Nick though, Nick Amaro who never thought he deserved the best in life which you always felt he did, knew he did. Then again you felt the same way toward yourself. Never believing you deserved anything good or anyone good in your life and that anything or anyone good had to have an alterer motive. Perhaps that’s why you were kindred spirits, you both knew how the other felt in some similar sort of way all the while knowing it was completely different sets of situations that led you to the place you were in life now.

Nick looked over to the table behind the couch seeing your medicine containers filled still from the last week. You hadn’t taken them then, a reckless decision in a moment of mania or brain fog, maybe both, he couldn’t be sure until asking further. While at work the detective was one of the best at interrogations he was careful when it came to you, he knew you hated feeling like you were being interrogated like one of his perps. It always ended up in you pulling even further away and shutting everyone, including him, out. “You didn't take your meds this week?” He questioned softly as he caressed your hair and back.

“I don’t know. I can’t remember when.” You muttered.

“Baby…you had an alarm set. What happened? I wanted to be here but I was undercover. I’m so sorry mi amor. I can’t always be here to remind you, you know that right? I worry. You have to take your meds so you feel better; so you feel okay.” Nick urged, feeling himself worry even more now at your words.

“Nick…Nick I don’t need you to babysit me. I know what I did was reckless. I know I skipped. One day I got up late, and I missed my alarm, and cut it off. The next day I said I didn’t have time, so I skipped it. The next, the same. The following I forgot, the same with the next and the next, and then I got to the point where I felt amazing I didn’t need it I thought. I was stupid and things spiraled. It felt great for a while! Boy did it feel fucking great. Now…now I just feel empty, and alone. Alone when I’m at work. Alone here. Alone with you. It doesn’t matter, I’m alone.” You started to feel yourself get carried away trying to explain what your mind felt like right now.

The detective listened, his heart clutching at your words and the pain and conflicting thoughts you had to be having right now.

“It’s not normal and it’s not okay. I just. I want to feel okay. I don’t want to have to live life on meds and still battle my thoughts, my mind saying awful things. I’m filled with rage and with hate and I’m not…I’m not hateful, I’m not vengeful, I’m not like this Nick. You know I’m not! I’m empathetic, I’m kind, I feel other people’s emotions and pain so deep inside myself that I carry it wherever I go and I try to make it better. I’m not this person my mind makes me believe I am.” You pushed off of Nick’s chest, or tried I should say but he held you tight to him knowing in a moment you’d break, the flood of tears would form and you’d not be able to stop it. Knowing you you probably hadn’t cried in a long time and needed it. Needed to feel healthy and not with the methods you used to use. Nick’s mind flashed with the memories of new scratches and new cuts and new bruises before you and he had gotten together and you had started an intensive therapy course and continued with therapy and treatment since. You had relapses of course but it hadn’t been as frequent and he had made it his life mission that no one, not even yourself, would harm you again. The squad and so many others, including yourself told him that it wasn’t his fault if you had faltered or slipped again, that it wasn’t his duty to make sure you were okay 24/7 but he still took it seriously and it made you feel even more guilty you had hurt him so bad by hurting yourself.

“Baby… Hermosa, you…you haven’t hurt yourself again have you?” He was afraid to ask…afraid of what the answer might be. He had been gone away without contact all week and had no idea if you were okay or not even if you assured him you were a big girl. Even the squad had said they’d check on you, which they did until you stopped letting anyone in yesterday morning.

“No…no, I haven’t. I’ve had thoughts but I haven’t.” You choked up and the man looked over your hands that had clutched his shirt desperately then down to your wrists and arms seeing no signs of new red angry skin. “It’s like a fucked up addiction. I did it to feel. I did it to make sure I was alive and all the while forget that I was and attempt not to have to deal with it at all anymore. I hate it. I hate I started it but I did now I have to live with it all because I started and my fucked up bipolar.” You cried.

“How…how can you even stand me?? Why do you want to be with me? Why? I’m so fucked up Nick! I’m screwed up! Why would YOU want ME? Me of all the women you could have, you chose the girl with a brain so messed up as mine.” You broke down as the handsome raven-haired detective held you tighter, tears gathering in his own eyes as you soaked his shirt with your own.

“Because I’ve never seen someone so compassionate. Someone so filled with life when you’re interested in something you can’t stop talking about it. Your eyes light up, your smile is huge and you can go on for ages until you realize I’m staring at you with my stupid big grin. Because of your smile, your spirit lights up even the darkest of moments, of days, the darkest corners of my mind. When I think of having you as my work partner and my girlfriend I ask how fucking lucky am I to have you by my side to confide in, to hold, and to love. How lucky am I that Zara and Gil have another amazing woman in their life who can teach them compassion for others and empathy and set a good example. Baby love you so much. I know we’re both fucked up but you are the light in the center of my heart that keeps it beating. That keeps me going. I don’t care that you have times when your life feels a mess, mine feels like a shit show most of the time too but when I hold you, or you hold me, I feel I’m sane. I’m okay. I’ll be okay because you’re here now. You’re going to be okay? Alright? I’m here. I’m going to love you through this and beyond. We’ll get you back on track and get you feeling better. I love you, please…try never to forget, even if you do, I’m going to remind you every day for the rest of eternity that you’re loved and cherished not just by me but by family and our squad and friends. Always.” Nick held your face in his large calloused hands gently as he spoke before kissing your tear-stained face and lips. “I love you. Please rest here, okay? When you get up I’ll be right here. We’ll start new. It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you.” He cooed and rocked slowly side to side hoping to soothe you as you cried yourself to sleep knowing Nick was right, he would be there for you and help you till you saw the daylight again.

Author’s Note: Please if you feel hopeless, empty, sad, or alone or are having any thoughts of SH, Suicide, or even just a feeling of helplessness and depression, call or text your local hotline (FOUND HERE). I have used the Crisis text line (text HOME to 741741 in the USA) several times and it helps to have someone to listen when you hate or are anxious about talking on the phone! If not these lines, please friends/family for support or someone who will listen to you. I’m here to speak to you and try to understand even in your darkest time you aren’t alone even if you feel you are. You are enough and you are loved. I love you. ❤️

#nick x reader #nick amaro x reader #danny pino #nick amaro #fanfiction #depressed #depression #tw self harm #self harm #tw depressing stuff #tw suicidal #suicidal ideation #suicidal thoughts #tw bipolar #tw mania #tw manic #manic depressive #manic depression #tw mental illness #tw mental health #fanfic #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #law and order fanfiction #law and order svu fanfic

[hussyknee]

I think sometimes you just have to make peace with the fact that your actual hobby is collecting books. And that that's okay.

#i used to devour eight books a week up until I was about 22 #i couldn't fathom leaving anything in the house unread #then it's like my brain maxed out #coincided with my cptsd manifesting in crippling depression‚ triggering my bipolar #and hitting that mid-20s adhd wall where all your coping mechanisms fall apart #it's just been getting worse ever since #i can no longer read anything but fanfic #i was able to make a great headway through alexis hall's work but then I fell into a hyperfixation again so #bye bye everything else #i couldn't read comics even when I was back to hyperfixating on comics #i can't absorb things and when I do I can't hold them in my head #i used to be able to pull out entire passages of my favourite books from memory #now I can barely remember what happened in them #sometimes i wonder whether it even mattered that i used to be such a voracious reader #sure it gave me writing skills but i was never able to do much with them because of the complete mental and physical breakdown #and people young enough to be my kids write better than I ever did #i still have the thirst and hunger for knowledge and stories #but no capacity for it at all #books #reading #just adhd things #actually adhd #burnout #book collection #knee of huss