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vivmaek · 4 months

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LUNAR PHASES

The moon acts as a guiding light within the night sky and humans have used it to orient themselves within time and space since the dawn of our existence. However, our connection to the moon goes beyond practicality. Looking up at the moon evokes a sense of comfort, and its beauty is inspirational. As much as our planet has changed, for better or for worse, the moon remains consistent with its cycles. This sense of stability offers us wisdom, and each period of the lunar cycle represents a different stage of growth. I was inspired to write this post after reading a fascinating article that is titled, “Effects of different phases of the lunar month on humans.” The Author, Ujjwal Chakraborty, explored the ways in which the lunar cycle exerts influence upon human psychology and physiology. Chakraborty states, “The altered autonomic neural activity and cardiovascular activity during different lunar phases is probably one of the fundamental causes of the changes of human physiology.”(2014) The autonomic nervous system regulates heart rate, digestion, respiration, blood pressure, and sexual arousal. Any changes that occurs within the autonomic nervous system is going to affect human behavior. To see a spiritual phenomenon be explained through scientific research is incredibly thought provoking; this leads me to believe that the spiritual meanings attached to each lunar phase must hold a certain amount of truth to them. If anyone is interested, the article can be found here. Chakraborty has a few other articles dedicated to lunar research that are also quite compelling. If this information intrigues you, I’d recommend looking into “The Transylvania Effect.”

I. Lunar Phase Personalities

Click here to calculate the lunar phase you were born under.

✰ New Moon - Individuals born under this phase tend to be psychic and are gifted in their ability to acknowledge the unseen. They represent new beginnings and trust their inner instincts. This can make them rather impulsive at times. New moon babies seek out adventure and are dedicated to the process of learning. They want to experience all that life has to offer them and are not afraid to dream big. This is the only phase of the moon that is absent of light, and because of this new moon babies naturally stand out from the rest. They also make for efficient leaders because their emotions and ego are in alignment. However, they’re not the types to seek attention and would prefer to work behind the scenes. Their introverted qualities and reserved nature spark a lot of intrigue. People born under this phase can find potential within any endeavor and always have a fresh perspective to offer up. Learning how to embrace the unknown is a major life lesson for these types.

✰ Waxing Crescent - These types can appear timid, but once you get to know them they are incredibly lively individuals who are full of curiosity. They prefer to stick to the things that they know and might struggle with accepting change. People born under a waxing crescent moon might get stuck within the past at times. Being courageous is something they struggle with. However, they still feel a desire to go out and explore, but they will approach these adventures with a practical mindset. Waxing crescent babies are attached to their comfort zone and are good at maintaining this even when chasing after new experiences. They are also good at finding the right people to associate with. Security is everything to these types, and they prefer to build deep relationships with people who will be in their life for a very long time. I’ve noticed that these individuals might feel more awkward than they come across. They are perfectionist and struggle with self criticism, they might get stuck within their own head during social exchanges.

✰ First Quarter - There are not many individuals born under a first quarter moon, which makes these types out to be rather unique. These people are the “main characters,” and they know it. They are not afraid to take charge of their own lives and are highly ambitious. Individuals born under this phase are not dependent upon admiration or attention. The only person they’re looking to impress is themselves. First quarter babies embrace challenges. The more challenges a situation throws at them, the more likely they are to succeed. The type of person who never backs down, they love putting their skills and talents to the test. Someone looking for a solution is going to be drawn to an individual born under a first quarter moon. Their strong personalities invoke action within other people and they serve as a source of inspiration. These individuals become unstoppable once they develop patience and learn how to wait.

✰ Waxing Gibbous - A sense of maturity is immediately evident within these individuals. They are natural caretakers and people often seek them out to be nurtured. Waxing gibbous babies have a calm presence that elicits a sense of peace within others. These types maneuver social situations with grace and making friends comes easy to them. They inspire other people to be better, and some might try to emulate them. Other people notice their potential and can see what they’re capable of achieving, but individuals born under this phase struggle to see it within themselves. They might feel life they somehow always fall short or will tell themselves that they are not “enough.” This is the opposite of how people are perceiving them. They must learn how to care for themselves in the same way they care for other people. Developing a deep sense of self love is vital for waxing gibbous babies.

✰ Full Moon - Individuals born under this phase are filled to the brim with energy. They might come across as more aggressive than they intend to be. Learning how to gain control over their emotions is a major life lesson for these types. Full moon babies might feel as though they are being pulled in two opposite directions. Their ego and emotions are not in alignment, they feel stuck between passion and logic. Sometimes they will chase after their desires even if that's not what's actually best for them. They can see themselves going in many different directions and it can be hard for them to choose just one. This indecisive behavior frustrates other people, especially those who depend on them. These individuals will find more success once they develop a sense of consistency within their lives. Their sense of creativity is deserving of focus and should not be overlooked. As much as their spontaneous nature might frustrate people, they also bring with them a sense of excitement and this is greatly appreciated.

✰ Waning Gibbous - People born under this phase are often sought after for their wisdom and ability to teach. These old souls are great at communicating their thoughts and learning comes easy to them. It is unlikely that they will have to be taught the same lesson twice, they are not the types to make the same mistakes over and over again. However, being judgmental of others may be a struggle. These individuals need to understand that not everyone is going to learn as quickly as they do. They might become frustrated watching their friends running into the same issues over and over again and will offer up unsolicited advice. It would be best to let people come to them, people will ask for help if they need it. These types tend to place themselves within positions of authority and might struggle with their listening skills. They’re often caught lecturing people when really they should be listening.

✰ Third Quarter - These types are sentimental individuals who are capable of finding deep meaning within everyday life. They hold an appreciation for the little things and show gratitude for what they have. Third quarter babies become easily attached, it can be hard for them to move on from the past. They take things slowly and aren’t likely to be caught up within a rush. Their loyalty is often taken for granted, as well as their kindness. They are commonly found within their own little world. Nostalgia maintains a strong hold upon these types. However, this connection to the past can create unpleasantries within their present life. They may be quick to forgive, but that doesn't mean they’re over it. Sometimes this can be unfair, third quarter babies need to learn how to let go of the past when it's for the best.

✰ Waning Crescent - The ultimate day dreamers. Waning crescent babies have an extremely active imagination and are highly creative. They often have visions of what's to come and very little takes them by surprise. People are drawn to their deep insight and are attracted to their unconventional personalities. These types have a mystical presence, it seems as if they are from another world. Their opinions are uniquely theirs, which can sometimes lead to them being outcasted. However, they thrive when alone and oftentimes complete their best creative work during these moments. Throughout life, they remain true to themselves and are not afraid to embrace their eccentric qualities. They have lots of unconventional wisdom to offer. Many of these types are psychic and are in touch with the spiritual realm, but don’t quite realize this. Learning to embrace and trust their intuition is a big lesson for these types.

II. Living in Alignment with the Lunar Cycle

✰ New Moon - Plant your seeds. This is a time to set new intentions and begin new projects. Take it easy by planning a relaxing night in so you can get in touch with yourself. Forget about the past so you can focus on what's best for the present moment. Journal about your hopes and dreams and think about the steps you can take within the next week to get closer to your desires. Burn a white candle, and incorporate the smell of tangerine, lemon, and jasmine into your routine.

✰ Waxing Crescent Moon - This is the time to be productive. Make sure to partake in healthy habits, give yourself an extra hour of sleep by going to bed early. Continue to build upon the goals you set for yourself during the new moon. Practice meditation to remain focused within daily life. Eat a meal that would be beneficial for your health. Burn a green candle and incorporate the smell of bergamot, cedarwood, and ginger into your routine.

✰ First Quarter Moon - Take time to focus on what's working for you and what isn’t. What tweeks need to be made within your daily routines and habits? Try to complete any tasks you’ve been putting off under this lunar phase. Go for a walk and listen to music that energizes you. Burn a red candle and incorporate the smell of patchouli, lemon and ylang ylang into your routine.

✰ Waxing Gibbous Moon - Practice patience and journal about the times in your life in which you persevered. Focus on the progress you’ve made thus far and show gratitude for what you have. Try to complete whatever preparations are needed for the next few days so they will run more smoothly. Burn a yellow candle and incorporate the smell of rose or juniper into your routine.

✰ Full Moon - Celebrate all the work you’ve completed by doing activities that bring you happiness. Have a fun night out with friends, take yourself out to your favorite restaurant. This would be a good time to focus on socialization. Make an effort to show your friends and family some love. Burn a pink candle and incorporate the smell of sandalwood, cardamom and cinnamon into your routine.

✰ Waning Gibbous Moon - Take time to reflect on the lessons you’ve learned within the past couple weeks. This would be a great time to declutter your space. Make an effort to let go of any disappointment or minor inconveniences that have been bothering you. Be kind to yourself and journal about the opportunities certain failures have brought you. Burn a light blue candle and incorporate the smell of lavender and tea tree into your routine.

✰ Last Quarter Moon - Remove yourself from your burdens by engaging your mind with relaxing activities. This would be a good time to sit within nature. Read a book, watch one of your favorite tv shows or movies. Journal about recent frustrations so you can get them off your chest. Practice forgiveness for yourself and for others. Burn an indigo candle and incorporate the smell of peppermint and eucalyptus into your routine.

✰ Waning Crescent Moon - Prepare yourself a comfort meal and draw a hot bath. Stretch your body and practice breathing exercises. Give yourself a massage or ask someone else to give you one. Focus on what you are drawn to as well as the desires that are developed while in a state of relaxation, try to write them down. Burn a purple candle and incorporate the smell of frankincense, sage, and lavender.

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springtrappd · 1 year

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You said in one post that the author of Solar Lunacy is ableist. Could you explain how they're being problematic? I know almost nothing about them or the story itself, so I wouldn't know if they've said or done anything sus. Also, thank you for actually criticizing the Daycare Attendant stans, almost nobody in this site does that.

thank you for asking! it's rare to see, you're right, but it's also rare that people are willing to actually engage with that critical posting, so -- again, thank you! as for your question: oh boy, can i!

first: the basics. dissociation is a psychological response to overwhelming stress wherein the brain... disassociates from itself, placing a barrier between itself and the harsh reality. the most famous dissociative disorder is dissociative identity disorder (DID), known formerly as multiple personality disorder (MPD) or split personality. did occurs when someone without a fully-formed identity (read: a child) undergoes such severe stress that the 'brain' dissociates from its identity itself, creating alternate identities (personalities) to deal with the things they can't. these alternate identities work together to form a system. it's way more complicated than that and you can read more on it here and here but that's the bare minimum for the ignorant in the audience. we all caught up? good! moving on.

now, the question of whether or not the daycare attendant is a system is a touchy one. i've seen multiple different stances on the matter, seen a lot of arguments, and typed (and deleted) several hundreds of words about it, and the answer that i've come to is that, for the sake of this argument, whether the dca is a system in canon doesn't matter. what matters is how bamsara treats them. how do they handle the characters, how do they frame the switches in personality, the confusion, all the parallels to real-world symptoms -- how do they expect the viewer to feel, what do they pull from the cultural lexicon, yadda yadda. does bamsara -- regardless of their intentions -- depict the dca as a system, and if so, how do they handle it?

the answer is that they depict the dca as experiencing altered identity states, switching (and even blurring) between identities, and even repeatedly acknowledges them as a plural entity.

and it is these behaviours, specifically, that are used to make the dca scary. bamsara's daycare attendant is scary because they experience altered identity states. because they blur identities. because they are a plural entity. because they display the textbook symptoms and behaviours of a disorder most commonly caused by childhood sexual abuse. and it is the fear that this is inspires that makes them (but especially moon & eclipse) sexy.

now, one can argue that this is simply in line with existing horror media, and they would be correct: most pop culture depictions of dissociative disorders are extremely ableist, and have real-world consequences! but what makes it really, really shitty is that... i don't want to think about this stuff. i don't come to fandom to be reminded that people are terrified of what they don't understand, and that that very very often includes the mentally ill. i don't want to be reminded that there are people who don't believe dissociative disorders exist at all. i don't want to reminded that they -- the sick, the survivors, the unlucky 140 million -- are spoken of in the same way as monsters. i don't come here for harsh realities. but solar lunacy is the most kudos'd fnaf fic on ao3, and we all have to live with that.

if you liked solar lunacy or bamsara's content or... whatever, i don't particularly care. i'm not mad about people thinking evil alters are sexy, or engaging with horror content that says shitty things about systems -- it's your life, live it how you please (and i've got a vanny icon so who am i to judge lmao). sometimes the things that make us happy are kinda shitty, and that's okay! our views are shaped by the society we live in, and there is no society on earth that is kind to the mentally ill -- there's no way to undo that, to stop that from influencing you in some capacity. but... all i ask is for you to think about this stuff, and try to educate yourself on the topic. there's nothing wrong with making a mistake, or having flaws -- but there's something wrong with making a space that feels unsafe, that reflects some of the more uncomfortable aspects of our society, that unintentionally hurts people. it's just up to you if that something is something you care about.

i hope that answers your question, anon (and anyone else who's curious). take care, mate!

(edit 13/01/2023: due to some technical difficulties on tumblr's end, the notes aren't quite showing up properly, so here's the link to bamsara's reblog chain if you can't find it.)

#speaking!#asks #anon #bamsara #fnaf #discourse #long post #loooong looooooong post #sorry it got so long!! i have a lot to say abt this topic #& wanted to do my due diligence #so doubly sorry if there are any errors... 'tis midnight #also: don't ask if i have did/am a system please!#it's extremely rude and confronting to ask someone something like that #just like. putting that out there.#anyway #csa ment #child abuse ment #bs saga

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sevenrs · 10 months

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been seeing interest crop up for a plural interpretation of grey wind/chasing wind, or making plural iterator ocs. this is great! as a system myself, i would like to offer some guiding questions and tips to non-systems to help out in their endeavors. please remember that i am one system and plurality varies VERY HEAVILY among people. other systems are free to comment and add their own tips. just dont turn this post into syscourse

i will use gw/cw as the most prevalent examples but this applies to any oc as well!

- alters are their own people in a lot of cases, not just "personalities". ask yourself, how does gw differ from cw? when presented with the same situation, how do each of them react? do they agree with each other or not? either way, what are their reasons?

- systems are rarely comprised of just two alters. it is not impossible, but very rare. most people notice plural symptoms at around 3 alters and people will on average have between 8-15 alters (but more is very much not unheard of!). think about how many alters gw/cw would have on top of each other

- alters may have different pronouns, sexuality, and ways they want to present themselves from each other. how do gw/cw and other alters differ from each other in this way, if at all?

- if gw/cw's physical body changes to represent who is fronting, was this an ability they had before realizing their plurality? in our world, we cannot change how we look outside of clothes and makeup. if gw/cw do not possess the ability to change physically, do either of them or any other alter feel uncomfortable or even dysphoric looking at their physical body?

- alters' relationships may vary heavily on the same person. how do gw/cw feel about a specific person? how are they the same or different? is one alter in a whole different kind of relationship with someone than another?

- how comfortable is gw/cw with telling others about their plurality? do only they know? their close friends? local group? anyone they come across? plurality is often personal, and is not a singular decision for any one alter in a system to make to tell others. it can be difficult for non-systems to understand what plurality is like (and in our world, cause mockery) so they may think it is easier to stay quiet about it

- plurality happens because of several different conditions. there is did, but there are also ospd-1a and 1b. i would highly recommend doing your own research on these different types of plurality. they each have different effects on memories, emotional state, even how defined the alters themselves. again, look into it

- if gw/cw have memory problems, do they have a way to get around it? private broadcasts? pearls? scratching on the walls? how do they talk to alters not co-concious with them?

- some systems may use role labels to identify themselves as having particular jobs to help/protect the system. these are roles such as host, caretaker, guardian, traumaholder, etc. do your research on this one. do any of these roles apply? or do gw/cw forgo these labels? (personally, we only use the term "host")

- headspace is a place in the mind where alters "live" (it's not a real residence, but it feels that way) headspace may be small, only representing co-conciousness, or very large, giving every alter a more "tangible" place to stay if not fronting. or headspace might not exist at all! (this is most common in systems who just found out about their plurality). what does headspace look like to them? keep in mind, headspace can really look like anything. for me at least, it looks mostly consistent. a few things may change about it or it may expand, but it's not like imagination where anything happens if you think about it

as a disclaimer i am not going to go in depth about trauma or sources in this post. it can get very personal very quickly. a general way i can put it is think of a long term source of stress and/or abuse that may be present in your iterator's life. handle the subject with care.

the best way to learn about the experiences of plurality is to ask people who are systems. as long as you are given consent, come in with genuine curiosity, and be as reasonable as you can, most systems will be okay with questions! it is like any other identity

a side: other ways to make plural iterators?

iterators do not share human anatomy or physiology. they will never perfectly be able to represent plurality like we have it in our world

but the unique characteristics of iterators can lend way into creative ideas that are similar to plurality! (but never, i want to stress, NEVER the same)

notably, several puppets in one can. if you remember that the body of the iterator is the structure, and the puppets are like the face, then you have several faces, personalities, people, in one body. my immunerators play around with this idea and i am sure there are other ways to get creative!

#rain world #broadcast.txt #gw #headcanon #my askbox is also open for questions #only if it relates to gw/cw or any other iterator oc you want help with plurality for #and not to pry into my personal life #i am a rain world blog. not a system blog #i wanted to offer some help to this part of the community #i will block anyone who gets weird about me or this post

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many-but-one · 6 months

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is it okay to ask for advice with working with higher-ups/inner reprogrammers? we’re making good progress with one, but do kinda worry that we’re moving too fast or will screw it up

Yes, it's alright to ask this. And there are multiple asks with this similar question, so I'll use yours to answer all of them. I'm not going to go too deep into how to unravel the beliefs that IPs have because they can vary so much. This is more going to be related to how you can gain their trust so they are willing to begin the unraveling process.

How to work with higher ups/IPs:

The very first thing I will always say is radical acceptance. Parts don't do what they do for no reason, they do things because they were taught to do them, even if those things are bad. Higher ups and IPs are often some of the most traumatized parts in a system, who hold some of the highest forms of manipulation that the group did upon a system, and they deserve love, support, care, and understanding just as much as any other part. They may reject this at first, they may fear this at first, they may lash out at this at first. This is usually because they believe they don't deserve it, they aren't allowed to have it, or they feel guilty for the "bad" things that they have done and believe that they do not deserve redemption. This is not true. Helping them understand this is not true is important.

Make sure parts are less isolated from each other, if it is safe to do so. A lot of the times, IPs and higher ups stay rigid in their feelings and opinions because they are isolated in those opinions. If they are only around other parts who hold those same feelings and opinions, it becomes and echo chamber and all of those parts will not be able to unravel those beliefs. Some of our most successfully deprogrammed parts have deprogrammed because they had support from both outside of the system and inside of the system. We often assign them protectors or caretakers to be like a buddy for them, someone that can handle if they lash out and will understand that if they lash out, it's unlikely because of anything that part did but out of fear. Radical acceptance and love and care is going to be so important here. It's not easy, but you have to stick to it.

Help them find new jobs that benefit the system rather than harm the system. A common theme for our IPs is "well, if I don't do this, what else do I do? What else am I good for? I'm nothing if I don't do this" etc etc etc. Finding them a different job in the system will help them find a better purpose than causing harm. All parts do things for a reason, and if that reason doesn't exist anymore (like not being in contact with abusers anymore, or not needing a certain program to run for your own safety anymore) then they can feel very lost and confused. Parts, unsurprisingly, like being helpful and useful if they can be, they just need the motivation and support to be able to change course.

Remember that no matter how awful an IP is, what they do is out of protection of the system. Hear me out on this one, please. Yes, HC-DID systems were not made to benefit the system. They were made for benefit to the abusers. However, regardless of this, all actions that IPs take are to keep the child safe, even if those actions put the child in harm's way in the end. Some examples of this include: 1) a callback alter going back to the abusers because they believe that if they do not go back, they will be punished. They may not have the foresight to understand that going back will be harmful to them, their main goal is to not be punished for not going back, so they go back to avoid that punishment, 2) a beta (sex) alter allowing sexual assault to happen because if they try to fight back, that will cause more harm in the long run. If they are conditioned to pretend to enjoy it, they may even do that, because if they didn't back then, then they would have been punished. So while they are putting the body in harm's way by allowing SA to occur, they are also trying to protect the body because if they don't allow it to happen, even worse punishments will occur. 3) a gamma (loyalty) part is programmed to be loyal to the abusers. If they were not loyal to them in the past, they would be punished. So no matter how loyal they really are, they more than likely will hold a facade of being extremely loyal and wanting to serve the abusers to avoid any punishment that will occur if they don't.

Overall, it's very important to help IPs understand that this is the present day, and that you are away from the abusers, and that the abusers will never know that they aren't doing their jobs (unless you have active reporter parts, in which those need to be addressed before anything else) and that whatever the abusers told them to make them think they would know when they aren't doing their jobs is just part of a Big Lie to get them to be compliant. Reminding parts that they didn't deserve the pain they were put under and that they can change and that the system will accept them no matter what they've done is imperative. Holding grudges against parts who have hurt you is kind of par for the course, but still doing your best to accept them regardless of what's happened in the past is ***required*** for healing and deprogramming IPs.

Hope that helped a bit! :)

#did osdd #did alters #dissociative identity disorder #did #trauma #did system #tbmc #mind control programming #ramcoa #ramcoa tw #mc tw #tbmc tw #programming tw #hc did #hc did system #polyfrag system #advice #anon ask #answered asks

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burningtheroots · 1 year

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"Not like other girls" vs. "not all men" — patriarchal division

We all know the popular "not like other girls" (or "not like other women", respectively) trope.

I‘ve been thinking about it a lot recently and what really annoys me is that society teaches young girls and women that girlhood and womanhood are inherently "bad" and hence not being like other girls and women is "good" and "desirable".

While many people believe that it stems from the girls and women themselves, I‘d like to emphasize the impact of growing up in a deeply patriarchal, misogynistic society and system which ultimately influences the steps we take.

The world we live in is built on female oppression, exploitation, rivalry and division. By ensuring that girls and women believe in what the patriarchy teaches us, men ensure their power and authority as we‘re busy trying to "fit in" and prove that we‘re the "good girls/women". Girls and women are conditioned to look down on other girls and women and aspire to be different — to be validated by men that they‘re not this flawed image of girlhood and womanhood.

Once we have internalized these misogynistic beliefs, we start to make our lives revolve around them and also spread them further. That‘s a common technique used by oppressors — divide and conquer.

Now we have lots of girls and women who desperately want to be different from other girls and women, who want to be as close as possible to whatever gets them men‘s approval and highlights that they‘re actually good instead of "flawed" like the rest.

Girls and women are always either "too human" or "not human enough". Whether it‘s looks, interests, personality etc.. We‘re trained to make entire lifestyle choices based on other people’s men’s perception. We‘re forced to balance between idealized womanhood and demonized womanhood.

The solution we’re presented? Putting other girls and women down to "prove" ourselves.

And it‘s not like there aren’t any tools for this, in fact, the patriarchy provides them abundantly.

The beauty & diet industry strive to divide us.

Fun activities which are still "gendered" to this day strive to divide us.

The media, social platforms and advertisements strive to divide us.

Sexualization and objectification strive to divide us.

Relationships with men strive to divide us.

Even when men commit atrocities, they divide girls and women, not men.

On the contrary, men and boys are taught to be united. Not in a coddly way, perhaps, but in a way that gurantees solidarity and immunity when needed.

"Not like other boys/men!" isn‘t a thing, instead, we got "not all men!", a.k.a. "I‘m like other men and because I‘m not bad, they aren’t, either!".

Whilst men are more prone to violence and deliberately inflict emotional and physical pain on others on a much larger scale than women, boys and men aren’t taught that it‘s desirable to be different from other boys and men. Rather, they‘re taught that it‘s good, desirable and admirable.

Instead of aspiring to be different — to be better — their focus is on defending men as a whole and excusing or justifying their misbehavior, whereas we‘re told that we must hold each other accountable for the tiniest missteps, especially when they involve men.

Girls and women are taught that their existence (& humanity) in itself is flawed, undesirable and needs to be strictly regulated, judged and altered.

Boys and men are taught that their existence (& humanity) in itself is self-evident, desirable and worthwhile.

That‘s why I put female solidarity and sisterhood above all else.

That‘s why I proudly say that YES, I am like other girls and women. We aren’t a monolith, we‘re individually unique, and yet we share the experience of being female, and we‘re united in our mere existence as women, and we don’t need to put other women and girls above or beneath us, or allow us to be alienated from one another.

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lorelei-system · 4 months

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So funny that I thought we were gender-fluid (shortly before finding out we were a system), because on the surface it makes sense. But it’s also so obvious that that’s not it.

The term never really fit, even though it technically seemed right.

I switch between several different genders. And want to go by different names depending on the gender. But also different ages. And looks. And likes and dislikes. And sexualities.

And it felt like my identity was just so unstable. But each alter actually has a fairly stable identity. It’s just that all these different alters together seemed very unstable.

Changing everything about yourself all the time can be quite distressing. Acknowledging our alters has allowed us to feel less chaotic. Learning about each alter and their unique identity makes each of us feel… more real?

Feeling like “I”, as an amalgamation of all these alters, had no cohesive and lasting traits whatsoever, nothing that was really me, because everything kept changing. Versus finding out who I am in this big tangled mess of alters, realizing what is and isn’t me. It’s helped a lot.

I am Ace, and everything that isn’t me is someone else. It’s just… such a relief that it finally all makes sense. All the symptoms. I had been trying to figure out what was wrong with “me” for so long. It’s just great to finally have an answer.

-Ace (former host)

#did alter #did osdd #did system #osddid #actually did #osdd system #ace speaks #also I want to say #how proud I am of our system #and how far we’ve come #I love you guys

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acorpsecalledcorva · 4 months

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Ok actually I might actually have something to say on this. I originally wasn't because the idea of system responsibility/accountability seems like such a no brainer to me I couldn't even think of a response to that thread going around right now that wasn't just "lol, no". Like, if we both have the same information on the topic and that's the conclusion you've come to about it then I simply cannot help you.

I also dislike conversations about things being anti-recovery because there's always nuance where you simply cannot definitively say something is or isn't anti recovery in a way that applies to everyone. I have decided, however, that this topic might actually be dangerously anti-recovery for a lot of people and I'm probably just being a pussy not wanting to poke the hornets nest by avoiding it. So here goes.

A huge complication of this, is of course, the dissonance between therapeutic and community settings. The two will never line up, they will never wholly agree with each other, and there will always be conflict. You can never seamlessly take advice from one, and apply it to the other, not least of all because neither the community nor the therapists we see make up a cohesive hive mind. There are different goals, different methods to achieving those goals, and disagreements on what those goals should be.

That being said, let's at least explore these ideas in their correct contexts and see if it can at least expand our perception and understanding of them. You don't need to relate to these scenarios, simply try to see the topic from the hypothetical systems point of view.

Therapeutic Setting

The host of a system presents at a therapists office. She is aware of her alters and has good relations with many of them but struggles to manage her day to day life. She suffers from an intense fear of abandonment and has incredibly low self esteem. There are several alters in her system that she is deeply concerned about that have created conflict in her life. One is sexually promiscuous and has ended relationships by sleeping with people other than her partners, one that harms the body and is hostile towards her including strongly negative critical thoughts, and one that is dedicated to permanently ending friendships and relationships by being extremely cruel and harmful to the people she cares about. She is very scared of these alters and wants nothing to do with them, she resents them for what they have done and is scared of what they might do. Her goal in therapy is to create greater harmony within her system, to have better collaboration with her alters and reduce the amount of internal and external conflict in her life.

The therapeutic approach in this scenario would be to remind the host that the alters she is afraid of are the result of traumatic events, and formed as part of a defence mechanism to protect her younger self, but that these defence mechanisms have likely gotten stuck and may no longer be appropriate to help with the problems they seek to solve. These alters may also feel alienated from the rest of the system, they might feel like they are being unfairly punished for trying to help and resent the host for pushing them away and punishing her back. Therefore, the path to resolving this issue is to accept these alters for who they are and what they're trying to do. To be grateful for the help they provided in the past and how much they must care for her to do what they do. To work on the fear and apprehension, because everyone in the system is part of the same brain and so will know if she doesn't really mean it, so that everyone can be brought closer together and work collaboratively towards common goals. After all, they all share the same brain, the same body, and must live the same life and what affects one will affect the other.

Community Setting

The host of a system enters the online system community. They are not the original host of the system, and do not go by the bodies name. They join system discord servers as well as follow many systems on social media platforms such as TikTok. They feel at home in these spaces as they are very alter centric. They, and the rest of their system are encouraged to share details about themselves, write lengthy bios, and differentiate themselves from each other. This works well for everyone in the system because it provides a freedom of self expression that is absent from their real world life. The alters find it very validating to establish their own identities and be treated as their own individual selves. These feelings are reinforced by sentiments shared in their communities that no one should force them to fuse, that fusion is equivalent to death, and that parts language is dehumanising. The system does not feel the need to seek therapeutic support as they are happy as a system and have heard accounts that made them wary of being invalidated by a therapist.

There is one alter, however, that likes to get up to mischief and create drama. They often front momentarily to leave inflammatory remarks, don't abide by community guidelines, and keep getting them into trouble. They post to Reddit to ask for advice on how to stop them when they're someone else and they can't control what they do and are told "your alters aren't different people, they're part of you and so it's up to you to work with them to change their behaviour". Well that doesn't sound right. The alter isn't them, that's the whole point of being a system. They decide instead that there's simply nothing they can do about it, that alter has nothing to do with them and controlling their actions would be like trying to control a random person on the street

Now it's completely understandable why two systems from these two settings would come away with completely different perceptions of what being a system is like. Why one would find the other anti-recovery and the other would find the other invalidating. But there is a key commonality between them, and that is both systems are distancing themselves from the alters causing issues, one through fear, and the other through absolvement.

System responsibility in both cases, therefore, is to accept their role in the conflict as an active participant and seek to resolve it. In the therapeutic setting it's to recognise that the hosts fear and resentment, if understandable, is contributing to the furthering of conflict and reactionary behaviour from the alters in question. For the latter system, it's to accept that as individual and different each person within the system is, they still share one body, share one life, use the same phone or computer, and have the same accounts. That they do not get special rights as a system that singlets do not. That if they want access to spaces where they can all be themselves then they all need to agree to abide by the rules or none of them will have access to protect the other members of the community.

Neither of these are nice or enjoyable or easy things to accept, but, and this is the really crucial bit, if you don't take responsibility for your system or your role in an alters behaviour, then you are consenting to the behaviour by your refusal and whether you accept it or not, others will hold you accountable for doing so.

So what's it to be? Do you want your friends and partners to be hurt and lose your access to spaces that you find so affirming? Or do you want to put in the work to build communication, participation, and collaboration with your system so that you can all enjoy your individual lives together?

#syscourse #system responsibility #system accountability

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himbos-hotline · 4 months

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hi!! hihi I just wanted to say i commented on your fic yesterday too but you’ve fully rotted my brain with kenny as a did system (from one system to another, it’s hard to find good plural hcs for characters :/) so if you wanted to share any hcs or anything here that’d be so cool!!! :3

OKay okay so like!! I am also filled with brainrot

And when I tell yolu that I am totally right about kenny omega having DiD I mean I am competely right! For those that don't know what DiD is it stands for dissoctive identity disorder [formally known as MPD or mutiple personality disorder] affects about 1.5% of the population and its an trauma disorder formed during the early childhood stage [between 2-7 years old.] It is regularly caused by any cause of severe trauma [sexual/emotional/physical ect] combinded with the obvious stress that going through that stuff causes. Extreme childhood trauma causes the brain to fracture before the child can gain and/or form a connected sense of self being, this disconnect continues and every part of distinct "personality" becomes more and more disconnected and dissociated and slowly start to form their own existence and behaviour, thus becoming "parts" or "alters" or "headmates" that exist to protect the child as they grow and go through trauma rather than the child going through said trauma alone.

MPD was renamed DID in 1994 since it is a dissociative disorder [as well as a posttraumatic stress disorder] instead of a personality disorder. DID is often catagorised/explained as

(image description: A screenshot from a website that reads:"it is a disorder characterized by the presence of two or more identities or personality states that recurrently take control of the individual's behavior accompanied by an inability to remember important personal information … it is a disorder characterized by identity fragmentation rather than a proliferation of separate personalities")

Alters can take different forms, introjects [alters based on media- yes this can also mean real people], non human alters [things like animals, based on objects, demons and angels - this is common in DID systems since a lot of us that I have interacted with have religious trauma /told we were possessed]. anything really. Alters normally form for a job [for example, Hangman in our system is a caretaker, meaning they exist to take care of the body/headspace. Kenny in our system is a companion, which means he exists to be a friend] Switching [mostly involentary changing from alter to alter] can cause amnesia and theres three types of dissocitive anmenia:

Localized: meaning you cannot remember specific events, times, places

Selective: you can't details/events of a specific timeframe

Generalized: This is the least common type. You can’t remember anything about your identity and life history.

So how is it diagnosed and how does it relate to one Kenneth Omega? well looking at the DSM-5:

Two or more distinct identities or personality states are present, each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self.

This is probably the most strongest bit of evidence with Kenny having DID. Theres him; Kenny omega. the bright blue eyed, blond haired, dorky smile kenny who sings tina turner and drinks from bottles weirdly and wears onesies. The kenny we see during the early BTE, the days in DDT, vaguely around the same time with his early tagteam with Hangman. You know Kenny omega! we LOVE kenny omega!

And then we have the cleaner. That dark, evil hurtful one who doesnt care about anyone or anything just winning. that heartless, cold man who wears Kennys skin like a cloak. The first real time we see the cleaner [at least, in my opinion. and since this is my headcanon, my opinion is law /lh j] is just after Kota moves up to the heavyweight devision, leaving Kenny alone. He instantly turns into that coldhearted, empty soulless almsot killing machine whose so addicted to winning because thats the only thing that shows that he exists. With his black dyed curls and dark sunglasses and wild eyes. Theres, no Kenny omega left. Only the cleaner. Goofey in a way thats soulless, kind in a way thats manipultive.

If you need any proof that Kenny fucking LOOSES it before him and Kota reuinite. Just look at his eyes after he betrays AJ styles to become the leader of bullet club because theyre totally normal [lying through my teeth]

Also just this moment right after the formation of the elite, Kenny being the first one to drop the two sweet, almost like somethings just switch off in his body, the half open eyes. The twisted smile that looks almost like hes in pain? yeah...

Amnesia must occur, defined as gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events.

There isnt much like,. spoken about evidence about this at least what I can recall off the top of my head. Theres a few little bits where Kenny doesn't seem to recognise or remember bits about himself, his friends. The moment that I can remember off the top of my head, that makes me feel a little insane. If when Kenny and Hangman get their first wrestling figures. Kenny asks if Hangers figure has his "baby blues" to which Hanger replies "my eyes are green." Sure it could just be a little slip of his tongue, Kenny wrapped up too much in the excitement of having hi8s own little figure. But him and Hangman have known each other for *years* at this point. Wouldnt kenny remember something as trivial as hangmans eye colour? especially when hes right in front of him.

The person must be distressed by the disorder or have trouble functioning in one or more major life areas because of the disorder.

*agressively gestures at kenny omega* you think tha man functions?!

okay thats a little mean, and painfully honest. But I could go more deeper into this and I might because I do in fact, have problems when it comes to thinking about Kenny Omega. But theres two places where Kenny fails at existing and functioning. And thats his own health and relationships. We all know about his fucked up relationship with Kota Ibushi, its documented in enough essays and video essays and enough fanfic to not only sink a battleship but to also keep me awake at night. But the one I really wanna focus on because [suprise suprise, the hangkenny shipper wants to focus on hangkenny] i think its the biggest showing of his inability of function with relationships is his one with Hangman page:

Its..rocky to say the best, lowkey controlling at worse. and neither of them are really to blame. Kenny is struggling with the constant fighting between Hangman and the Bucks. Especially in this video [big thanks to @jacedoe Mars ily so much!!] Where the bucks are fighting over him with hangman and Kenny is litearlly being pulled from pillar to post. Not sure who to go to, much like a child dragged from parent to parent in a divorce. And you see him go from, midly tired and aching to upset and unable to control his emotions but at the same time so emotionally shut down that he just walks away after hugging the bucks.

Kennys relationships, romantic or otherwise shift and change so quickly that its almost like, he doesnt want to be loved, doesnt get it and thats exactly what it is, I personally think Kenny doesnt understand what love IS. He doesnt know what its really meant to feel like, like deep down hes never sure what it is. Hes never had it as a child.

AKA growing up with Don Callis, he mentions in his promo during all in that Don made him only focus on hockey, never having a birthday party/never being allowed to keep friends. that sounds like phycological/mental abuse to me. It sounds like mental abuse because it is. One of the most common malipulation practices for mental abuse is seperating people from anyone who can help them or see that its wrong. Now look at just how many times the Bucks have tried to show Kenny that Don is a peice of shit or that Jericho is only using kenny for his own uses before Kenny can be thrown away.

Callis also constantly putting Kenny down is also a sign of mental abuse. The half jokes when he smiles and pats Kenny on the shoulders afterwards why he just sits there...tell me thats not abuse.

The biggest, showing of the fact that Kenny went through abuse because of Don is the "vitimans." an uncessary and more then likely uncomfortable and invasive procedure on a child while Kenny hopes that itll bring him a little scrap of love? Its all a part of dons plan to keep kenny in the public eye but ulimately his.

what im saying is Kenny omega growing up with don callis, suffered horiffic mental and physical abuse [weve seen him hit Takeshita, so kenny would be no different] and thats impacted his ability to form and make relationships.

The disturbance is not part of normal cultural or religious practices.

I have nothing for this point, not knowing Kenny yknow. personally.

The symptoms cannot be due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (such as blackouts or chaotic behavior during alcohol intoxication) or a general medical condition (such as complex partial seizures).

Kenny doesnt drink or suffer from any blackouts as far as we know nothing worse than vertigo. again this is only that we know so like, I could be wrong

also just, this tweet from Kota, because who knows kenneth better than his golden lover?

[disclaimer: this is only distinctly talking about kayfabe. This headcanon isnt law and its all for fun, please dont send me hate asks.]

#kenny omega #plural system #dissociative identity disorder #mouse writes #wheres the essay op

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the-astral-clump · 1 year

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PLURALITY & PRIDE

On the first day of Pride Month we decided to write a little thing about how our plurality and our queerness affect each other.

But before that, lets get some things out of the way: This is a safe space for every system and any who identify with multiplicity. This is also a safe space for every good-faith identity. We also greatly encourage other systems/plurals to share their own experiences. <3 (mind you this post is a bit long and rambly so theres a closing message slash tldr at the end)

Alright! That being said, this is half describing our fuckyweird identities as a system and half a love letter to it all.

Labels are things that I (the host, Alex) have strugged with for very long time. Since the way we experience such things like fronting as blending, blurring, and/or passive influence I often find it difficult to differentiate my sexuality and gender from my headmates, due to this melding of sometimes contradictory identities (for example, Alex and Mae being transmasc and transfem respectively) we often experience some very.. well.. queer feelings. We all have different appearances in headspace, and due to the nature of our headspace, we can often change these at will. This however (unfortunately) cant be transated into our physical body, which is afab. You can perhaps imagine the feelings that might arise from having an alter who is and enjoys a feminine body co-front with an alter who is a lot more masc leaning, or maybe you can't. Either way you can at least imagine how confusing this can be, having two voices, two entirely separate people, share a body and wish for entirely different things for it. Having alters who experience different levels of romantic and sexual attraction as well as attraction to different genders. How it might feel to have a largely asexual alter co-front with an allosexual alter with a very high libido, how it might feel for a bisexual alter to blur with a homosexual alter unable to really percieve the presence of eachother. Often Alex and Sasha co-front, Alex is aroacespec and experiences minimal attraction though usually towards men, Sasha is m-spec and (very) allosexual. They also feel differently as to presentation, Sasha being much more feminine than Alex, this can lead to weird dysphoric feelings, feeling gay and bi feeling like a girl but also mlm, feeling so many different ranges of conflicting emotions and identities.

Although things like this have brought us great frustration and caused conflicts within the system, this pride month we want to instead celebrate these incongurences in identity. We want to celebrate having complicated identities, having feelings that perhaps conflict with eachother. Because this is real, what we experience is real and it deserves recognition and respect. This is something that can and should apply to everyone, regardless of wether they identify as plural, queer, or anything else. So here's for a lovely pride month, to my fellow queer systems, and to all the people and creatures whose identities dont fit into a solid mold.

closing message/ tldr; As a system we experience many conflicting and weird combinations of indentities and we are learning to live and love this aspect ouf our lives, and hope others can too. You deserve love, pride includes those with complex identities, be weird, be yourself, be queer unabashedly and love yourself for it. <3

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reimeichan · 5 months

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How did you all figure out you were a system? -🪭

It depends on who you're asking.

For Purple, she was always open to the idea that the world had a lot of unexplainable phenomena that our current knowledge of science and stuff may not be able to address. When we were 12, she was looking online for ways to flesh out OCs, and one of the suggestions was to talk to said OC as if you were giving them an interview. So she asked said "OC" some questions and had him answer them. "What's your favorite color?" she asked. "Gray," I said. "No, that's wrong! I made you, I know your favorite color is green! I put it down on your character sheet!" she said back. I shrugged, and, confused, replied back, "It's definitely gray, I don't know what to tell you." And in that moment she knew she shared a brain with another entity, though she dared not label her experiences as DID at the time.

For Green, in high school he had joined a new online community who noted how his personality would occasionally just *drastically* shift. This personality shift was due to him and Purple switching at the time, and Purple, already in the know, would end up telling this new community how they likely had some sort of "multiple personality" thing going on but would never presume for it to be DID without a proper diagnosis. Those words alone were enough for Green to realize that Purple truly was a separate identity from him, and though he was shocked at first, he and Purple really leaned into the "multiple personalities", even giving themselves different halves of our online username at the time.

For me... well, I'm a fusion of a few parts. One part of me, the Gray that Purple met and mistook for an OC, knew around the same time as her. I was in denial for much longer, but constant pestering from her made me finally accept that she and I were at least separate consciousnesses within the same brain.

Another part of me was blissfully unaware until we nearly died in 2020. I won't go into detail how it happened, but it was sudden and out of nowhere, and though nobody was too greatly injured, the shock was enough for me to fully dissociate away from the situation. However, we still needed someone to actually be in the body and move it around, so out of desperation our gatekeeper (the "mistaken for OC Gray") pushed out the first alter he could find... and that happened to be Rouge, our sexual alter. Let me just paint the picture here real quick: I've told everyone around me that I'm asexual, somewhat sex-repulsed, and had no plans to ever be sexual with anyone. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I'm on Tinder witht the sluttiest profile I can muster up, swiping right on anyone and everyone who I even remotely may be interested in a one-night hookup. All because I nearly died. I woke up in the morning to hundreds of matches and even a planned fuckdate. All of this, might I remind you all of the timing, in the middle of a pandemic that we at the time did not have a vaccine for yet. Horrified by what I found in the morning, I canceled the fuckdate, deleted my account, and uninstalled the app.

And though that was still not enough for me to accept I have DID, that sure did open some doors.

Then, in 2022, my then-partner and I had a long talk. They were getting tired of my memory issues and no amount of writing things down seemed to be enough for them. I seemed to have incredibly inconsistent and even contradictory boundaries that they couldn't keep track of. I blamed everything on my ADHD, of course. I didn't have amnesia, other than what I assumed were short term memory issues to the point I may have missed something they said 5 minutes ago. "Oh, sorry, I was spacing out," I would say. Eventually she got so fed up that she said, "you never space out when we're having fun conversations! it's only when you're stressed out because I'm pointing out things you've done badly that you tend to space out!"

And I went. Oh. Fuck.

That's not spacing out.

Slapped in the face with the reality that I wasn't simply "spacing out" from ADHD unfocus but due to some kind of dissociation, and given the ultimatum that if I didn't change then they would break up with me, I was forced to sit on those feelings and really dig into why I was so dissociative, so forgetful, and so inconsistent. And I knew the reason, I did, but I couldn't get myself to admit to it. God, it couldn't be me. I tried so hard to convince myself that the disorder I had on-and-off considered my entire life didn't apply to me, that maybe I was misunderstanding the diagnostic criteria, or I was misinterpreting my symptoms, or that I somehow had convinced myself I had these symptoms because I wanted them to feel... special? Validated? I don't know.

I found myself a therapist who had a long history of working with dissociative and trauma clients. She helped me unravel a lot of those feelings of shame and denial. She used a few different tools to eventually diagnose me with DID. She validated my experiences, and helped me through so much initial stabilization that I'm so very grateful for her help those first 10 months.

So, yeah. That's how we found out we have DID.

#did #dissociative identity disorder #actually did #actuallydid #did osdd #osddid #cdd #personal #by gray #about green #about purple #we've been meaning to write this for a long time #so thank you for the ask #the-bumblebee-system #the bumblebee system

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sophieinwonderland · 9 months

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Imitated DID 2 - Hysterical Boogaloo

We're diving back in from where we left off last time. Now with the "hysterical" group.

There is actually a certain level of logic to part of this.

I don't diagnose people with disorders. But when talking about plurality with questioning systems, I find it much more useful to ask about their internal experiences and hear them described in their own words.

Especially because a lot of medical jargon and even plural community terms kind of suck for describing these type of experiences. If someone isn't describing things in their own words, I can understand feeling like they might be faking. But that doesn't mean they are.

Comorbid Mental Illnesses can affect communication: We have ASD. If you've noticed, we tend to use jargon and big words a lot. I often make up my own jargon too because much of what I see from psychiatry is inadequate. (I could go on long rants about how meaningless the word "dissociation" is.)

The issue is that a lot of people with ASD or other disorders might behave like this. We might use clinical words if we've studied them. I'd like to think We would have the presence of mind to not reply to a psychiatrist asking "what do you mean by amnesia" by explaining whether our amnesia is retrograde or anterograde, but I could easily imagine someone else doing that.

Some people also have personality types where they might be seeking respect, and trying to impress a psychiatrist with their knowledge of academic terms.

Perhaps what appears to not be genuine is just another condition that makes people communicate in ways a neurotypical wouldn't be expected to.

This also goes for other behavior that appears non-genuine. Maybe someone presenting more overt presentation just doesn't have a filter or social awareness.

(Also, amnesia isn't even professional jargon. It's used all the time by lay people.)

Again, most people with DID stated they would miss the voices of their alters: Like I said in the last post, 69% of DID voice hearers said they would miss their alters' voices if they were gone.

The feeling of "I won't let anybody take them away from me!" isn't uncommon. They're in the MAJORITY. Maybe expressing these feelings aloud is uncommon. But that just makes me further suspect influence from comorbid disorders that make it difficult to tell what's socially acceptable.

Another possibility is someone mentions their full trauma history and talks about their conditions as a test of sorts. They've learned to expect rejection, and want to be upfront about everything so that if they scare someone away, it will be right at the beginning of the relationship.

It's so important to account for different behaviors in different people, and different illnesses and conditions that can influence those behaviors.

WHAT?!

She couldn't handle Lucille, who always got her own way. Lucille is convinced that her mother physically and sexually abused her.

There are many ways to write this that wouldn't involve portraying the mother as a victim of a little girl.

It's stated as an objective fact that Lucille's mother "couldn't handle Lucille," suggesting Lucille was always the problem. Meanwhile, "Lucille is convinced" her mother abused her. It's not even neutral language, like she "reported" or "described" it. She's "convinced."

I'm absolutely appalled.

Also, it feels a little gross for the doctors to describe their patient as "attractive" and with a "seductive presentation." I'm not the only one feeling that, right?

So she essentially did report amnesia. It just sounds like she didn't understand what amnesia was or was in denial, and clinicians should have questioned further.

Surely, if she were trying to manipulate the clinicians, she'd have claimed to amnesia, right? Since amnesia is part of the criteria?

Like with the "borderline" group from before, she had DPDR.

So she recognized similarity in her own experiences with DID systems AND an independent clinician confirmed her DID.

But this is what they're using as evidence against her. That she heard about it first and then identified with it. But that's often how people learn about their disorders. Sure, sometimes it can be wrong. But it shouldn't be treated as evidence against somebody as it is here.

Quick reminder that she started to hurt herself in group treatment.

Why would you suggest she go without therapy? Supposedly it worked out if we trust the clinicians' report. But I'm not so certain I do. I doubt they'd say "we told her to take a hike and then she was worse off than when we left her."

Now, the actual section focused on Lucille isn't the last time we'll hear about her, so let's skip ahead a bit.

This adds a bit more context to the earlier wording of her being "convinced" her mother abused her.

But the implications are a bit more terrifying to me. What was left out of this case study?

Lucille comes in experiencing chronic symptoms of DP/DR. She believes her mother abused her. The clinicians here seem to take the side of the mother in a peculiar way, describing Lucille's mother as "being unable to handle" the little girl.

After leaving therapy and coming back for a follow up, Lucille is saying, uncertainly, that the abuse she endured might not have happened.

Did the clinicians, as authority figures, also try to convince Lucille that her memories of abuse were false?

This feels extremely gaslighty to me.

This is actually a good practice. And is a huge problem I have with the anti-endo ideology is that it often encourages people to look for trauma to confirm systemhood. If you tell someone who is a system they need trauma to be a system, there is a real concern of them trying to fit themselves into that box.

But is the implication that Lucille fabricated her trauma after seeking treatment for DID, and never believed it prior? If so, that feels like an incredibly relevant detail to omit from your case study.

So their opinion, ultimately, is that these cases of "imitated DID" are fabricating trauma memories.

Essentially, this paper is advocating for False Memory Syndrome.

And worse, they admit there's no way to reliably assess suggestibility in these patients, since the authors claim the suggestibility is selective and the scale useless.

It comes down to the individual clinicians with their individual biases to determine who is or isn't an actual trauma survivor.

What is all of this REALLY about?

Now we get to the real point

While other parts of the paper pay lip service to helping patients, a large amount of it is focused on addressing malpractice complaints.

Here is some interesting wording. Shouldn't the interests of the patients be the priority of therapy?

I understand the intent behind this. But the wording presents an adversarial relationship between clinicians and hostile patients where clinicians are meant to act as judges and authority figures, and acting in the interests of the patients is "collusion."

Ideally, even if a patient were faking DID, giving them a more correct diagnosis would still be working in the best interests of the patients, right? At no point should acting in the patient's interest be presented as a bad thing as it is here.

Patients suing therapists over believed-malpractice are presented as seeking "attention and gratification."

I'd agree that it would be interesting to know what groups the suing patients fall into. But there would need to be a better way to make such an assessment.

Because if you're going to have cases like Sandra's, mentioned in the last post, where clinicians are forming biases based on her life history of self-medication with drugs and having an older boyfriend before they even observe her, this method isn't effective.

What would be really interesting to me is, if Sandra or Lucille had gone to another clinic, would the other clinics have judged their DID as being imitated? Or is this solely a result of the biases of these clinicians?

In contrast, would those clinics have judged other patients that this clinic said had "genuine" DID of having imitated DID.

Is there even the slightest bit of credence to this concept? Can it be consistently applied or is this just the opinions of one clinic being treated as gospel?

The goal of the whole paper is pushing False Memory Syndrome in a way that pushes responsibility from clinicians onto patients.

Over 20 years later, and this hypothesis is still groundless. Not just the hypothesis that those responsible for lawsuits are imitated DID cases, but even that second opinions could confirm their own case studies as being imitated DID.

This paper that started the "imitated DID" myth, the paper that led to the controversial McLean video, is based on nothing.

It was motivated not with the goal of helping patients with DID nor helping the patients they accuse of imitating DID, but by the self-interest of clinicians trying to protect themselves from malpractice complaints of patients they treat as hostile and adversarial.

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antiendovents · 2 months

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🩷📺🌱🪴🍪

- 🌌🩷

YIPPEE A CHANCE TO RAMBLE :D

🩷 - do you have any subsystems?

Yes, we have a lot actually, I think the current number is 11-12? They're mostly grouped subsystems that are connected for all different reasons (the one that runs this account is connected because of our roles + the reason we split in the first place), he do have an alter in alter subsystem that's in layer two.

📺 - do you make/buy gifts to other alters in the systems?

We don't do it very often, but we do like to get notebooks, apps, jewellery and stuff for certain alters. Though almost always another alter ends up using them anyways— but it was the thought that counts, right? :p

🌱 - do you have a headspace? if yes, describe it! if no, do you want one?

Yes! It's a really big headspace. Basically the headspace is one big void with different floating islands, each island is a layer. We have four (known) layers. Layer one is the "main" layer and it's made up of a giant forest with different clearings and patches, we have different "areas" in this layer that range from safe to very dangerous. Layer two is made up of fields and hills, it's mostly foggy and is considered the "secondary" layer, here I believe most of the areas are safe with the exception of one area. Layer three is the second smallest layer, it's a little village of cottages, this layer is completely safe with the small exception of the alters themselves, they could chose to attack but most if them are friendly. Layer four is the smallest layer by far, made up of a singular abandoned house that holds a few fragments known as the "trauma kids". Most of layer four is considered dangerous all around, with only the fragments that reside there able to travel throughout the house and its garden unharmed.

🪴 - did you have to build your headspace over time, or was it just there?

As far as we're aware it was just there, but we do have an architect who does make some "edits" to some places in headspace. He used to fix up the alters homes, but he went dormant at some point and now that he's back he doesn't seem very motivated to do anything like that anymore.

🍪 - do you have a collective name/identity/orientation? if yes, how did your system make those decisions?

We do have a collective identity, but it's sort of merged with a singletsona, which is also a bit separate? It's complicated. Collectively we go by many names, but mostly critter or bug, we use he/they/it/xe as collective pronouns since they're the most common ones we have. These were decided among the "admin team". But we have no collective gender or sexuality, that's where the singletsona comes in. We won't say it's name since it's out legal name, but our singletsona is a he/they trans-masc non-binary who is aceflux and omnisexual. This is based of the "main" hosts Identity before they figured out we were a system. They fought very hard to be seen as a boy and we didn't want to ruin that, so we kept their identity mostly.

#- joy & cielo & Salem #Yes two from outside the system joined me for this #Salem knows about headpsace #Cielo knows about the system as a whole #:p #THIS WAS SO FUN THO #anti endo #did #did system #endos dni #plural #actually did #alters #system #endos fuck off #did osdd #🌌🩷 anon

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granulesofsand · 10 months

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🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA, trafficking, CSA, incontinence

Our main system will probably never see this, but we do experience incontinence.

We were trafficked for the first ten years of our life at least, and before six we lived full-time in that environment. As we got older, our perps noticed our lack of bladder and bowel control compared to regular development.

It’s one of the things that could have been a side effect of SA, could have been from the connective tissue disorders that came with the PTSD, might’ve happened even without all that.

But they noticed, and we were not the only child with the symptom. I’m pretty sure they also got the programming we did.

We were made to split a subsystem surrounding it, the alters of which were later placed into separate locations internally. There are tons of them. A lot have trafficking codes to be pulled up in “special services”.

Of the sexual ones: there are those split for shame, to be embarrassed and shy but still be around for instances where customers wanted that kind of play; some are kitten or princess types, that flirty-little-girl behavior tied with those cues; the dog and pony ones, who don’t even notice or consider it strange; the dolls, with only touch-based cues with a singular or select few commands.

There are also everyday living ones: the ashamed clean-up alters, who feel like they have to hide evidence; the children and nonsexual animals, for the normalcy; caretakers, sometimes also with guilt for having been “dirty” or “gross”.

That’s not all of them, but most are fragmented or just slightly different from another alter with a similar code.

Most of the other coded alters who are aware enough know that this is something the body does, but the presentation fronters usually don’t. It leads to some of the stuff that got us caught, having to do laundry or buy special products for clean-up and protection.

I’m hoping our gatekeepers will respect the rules the front group set and we can at least have some recording of this in our journal as well. I wanted to put it online because it’s part of our process, but also because it’s not a topic many of us feel comfortable with.

Many of our symptoms were hidden away, sexualized, or otherwise exploited in our abuse to keep us under control. While I might not have words to describe these experiences, I will not let this become my secret.

I am not bad, I did not do anything wrong, these are not my secrets to keep.

It’s a mantra that leads a large portion of our healing, and I want others to feel the same.

#ramcoa #tw ramcoa #did osdd #osddid #dissociative identity disorder #did system #traumagenic system #polyfragmented system #incontinence #tw csa #tw trafficking

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florasolarsystem · 8 months

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Things we experienced so far as a system which sucked balls:

No sense of identity for years and feeling shitty for never being consistent or able to commit

Not being able to choose a career path due to a wide range of interests, even know have only narrowed it down to "a science field"

Because of how the other systems in our life acted at the time and our own insecurity (since majorly improved) a lot of alters presented themselves in a way that would make them more of a prospect for romantic relationships. Impacted all of us a lot and still makes it hard to unmask for alters who aren't viable romantic interests.

How unwelcome system spaces have been. We have been bullied and harassed in an online space because an alter who's a factive of an artist tried talk in the space. We were told we were faking, called slurs and things we repeatedly said to stop (was triggering and very intense derealisation). We left quickly but it was terrible.

The feeling of losing friendships, when frequent Fronters change for us or hosts and they no longer are close with our friends bodily feels really isolating.

We can't keep our room clean and a large portion of that is cause we're a system. Different alters preferences or attention span or behaviours means mess and clutter build up fast. Most are even trying to keep it clean but it doesn't work out.

Constantly unable to do tasks we should know how to do due to amnesia. It's occured so often that my family members expect us to put things back wrong or have to repeatedly ask instructions despite Doing it recently.

Once an alter engaged in some sexual activities without proper communication. This messed us up for a while because we collectively did not want to do anything of the sort yet, especially considering our age and the fact our host at the time was a majorly sex repulsed asexual who was still struggling with acknowledging the rest of us.

Dysphoria and the different ways it presents for us. Some people like our chest others hate it, some people are dysphoric about our height or shoulders or jawline and others find it affirming.

#system stuff #osdd did #sysblr #kind of a vent?

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coexistentialism · 4 months

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Genuine question out of curiosity and I totally understand if you aren't comfortable answering it, but I was just wondering what led you to get assessed for DID?

I don't want to be nosy or rude or anything! I just see you mention a lot of things around feeling like you're basically all "you" rather than seeing one another as separate parts and stuff like that, and got curious because it seems like that's a presentation that would be less likely to get easily noticed by a therapist and/or prompt the person to seek an assessment.

I don't mind answering :P

So context for my life, brief CSA mention, when I was 14-years-old, I told my family about the fact that my brother was sexually abusing me, and that led me to moving in with my mom all through high school.

I'm pretty sure I just, like. Forgot, I guess, how much worse my dad is over my mom, but I ended up moving back in with my dad after graduating when I was 18.

From 18-20/21, I started realizing many things about myself; that I'm autistic, that I probably have ADHD, and that I have experienced a lot of abuse and trauma for essentially my whole life.

I have a friend who I knew had DID (I'm still friends with him, you know who you are JMSKDKND) and we have technically been friends since I was like 17 maybe, but we never talked much and weren't that close. But I knew she had DID and I don't know for sure if these were actually amnesia due to alters or not, but I woke up on different occasions to see that my phone was left open on random things. I don't mean "woke up" as in I thought I just went unconscious, I mean that I LITERALLY just. Fell asleep at nighttime and when I woke up the next morning, random stuff was left open on my phone. I didn't experience it as "passing out and then waking up" or anything.

One time it was just open on an college essay I wrote, another time it was left open on a.. Random Reddit news story about legalizing weed or some shit? I genuinely don't know if those incidences were from alters fronting while I thought I was asleep or what. It's just weird because I can't imagine any alters just.. Fronting and reading our college essay and a random Reddit news story?? I have no idea. But my phone requires a pass code to unlock, so it couldn't have just been me somehow accidentally opened up random apps in my sleep.

And because of my friend, and because I knew that DID was caused by childhood trauma, I also found out (I don't know where or how, this wasn't something I knew off the bat) that DID isn't all that rare or anything, so because of my realizations and knowing my friend with DID, I ended up wondering if I could have DID.

I didn't take it all that seriously, I was convinced that it was too much of a "jump" to question DID, that it was obvious I didn't have it and it was ridiculous and a joke that I ever questioned it. And didn't tell anyone, but eventually did of course and then years upon years of researching, questioning, excruciating denial, not understanding how alters and switching works, so on and so forth, I finally got diagnosed in Nov. 2022.

I think that, had I not known about my friend with DID, I still would have eventually started to question DID because I think I would've come across DID discussions SOMEWHERE on Tumblr and then started questioning further. I just probably would've found out much, much later.

And if I didn't use Tumblr, I probably would've just never even questioned or known or even got diagnosed at all. Just because I feel like system spaces are pretty big in the spaces that I also frequent on Tumblr, and I don't use other social media platforms, but I can't imagine systems spring up as often on those, even TikTok. But then again, I don't know lol.

There are probably other details that I've forgotten for sure lol. If you wanna ask more specific questions, I don't mind answering :P

#my posts #Inbox

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