#i feel like being asexual as a system is so confusing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ineffectualdemon · 2 years

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I understand that there are young people on here around age 13 that are new to both Tumblr and AO3 and you're confused how it works because it's very different to other social media and websites you've used. I have a 13 year old. I understand the confusion

And I know on the surface the pro censorship stance of: "ban stuff that has paedophile and incest" seems reasonable

We all agree that stuff happening irl is bad! So why should stories be different?

And there are reasons it will not work especially not for an archive like AO3

1. Content about those subjects ≠ favourable. There are a lot of published works, famous works, that cover these topics in your local library. They cover these topics to challenge people to stop ignoring that these horrible things happen. To raise awareness, to give victims a voice, to help victins know "that wasnt normal and that shouldn't have happened to you". And those stories are extremely important.

Yes some authors write it to just write it. But if you throw out those stories you also throw out the important ones. And a story that seems to be romanticising to one person is something important and supporting to another

Also a lot of the more "for fun" underage content on AO3 is written by teens exploring their own feelings which will get more into later

2. As soon as people start censoring they start twisting what comes under the objectionable content. I have seen people argue that a relationship was paedophilic because one character was 18 and the other was 17. Which is silly. Or that a relationship between two adult characters was paedophilic because there was an age gap. It becomes ridiculous really fast which means...

3. ...any and all lgbtq+ content will be censored as our existence is often seem as inherently sexual when it's not. We're already seeing that happen in the real world. But queer people just existing is enough for people to want to censor us. We know this because it has happened many many many times. People call for censorship and the first thing to get censored is any mention of being anything other than straight and cis

Censorship laws and rules have always been used as weapons against the community.

It doesn't matter if they say it will be different this time. They always say that and it's always a lie

4. This is purity culture 2.0 and purity culture messes you up. When I was 13 I read a magazine at my church that was aimed at young teens. It told me that feeling sexual desire as a teenager and handling those feelings alone meant you were definitely going to grow up to be a paedophile and a rapist and that messed me up so bad.

Obviously what the magazine said was not true . It is perfectly normal to feel desire and attraction as a teenager (also normal not to. Asexuals are valid) and having those feelings doesn't make you a monster

and even though my feelings were normal and I wasn't hurting anyone I had such shame and guilt and it really fed into my self loathing and depression and self worth for a very long time. It led to me hurting myself in many many ways. And I know many other people who were hurt by purity culture. Made to feel shame over the smallest thing. I don't want anyone else to experience that

And censoring fanfiction will do that. Telling teenagers that they morally degenerate for writing fanfiction and exploring their sexuality in one of the safest ways possible is damaging. Writing for self expression including sexual expression is healthy and very normal

It's definitely not something to shame someone for

All of this to say AO3 will remain uncensored because it is an archive, not a curated list. It has a great filtering system that allows you to filter out just about anything and a careful reading of the tags will also help you.

A lot of authors who write more intense fiction put more trigger details in the author notes so you can make an even more informed choice or tell you how to skip any specific scenes

It is one of the best websites for avoiding content you don't want as long as you know how it works.

Now I'm not an expert but I am willing to answer any questions on how to use AO3

I know it can feel like everyone is looking down on you but I promise I'm not looking down on you for not knowing

On that I will also say for Tumblr it's pretty easy for you to filter out tags now and filtering out stuff you know will upset you makes your life much nicer

Anyway I hope this helps explain why people are so anti censorship

There are more reasons and I could have gone more indepth but I only have so much energy but I truly hope this helps

#ao3 #fandom stuff #shipping #censorship #anti censorship #tumblr

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lovezbrownies · 1 month

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(MYandere! Superhero x GN!Reader)

Masterlist

(Decided to make an oc strictly non-sexual, so he is asexual, I noticed I've been making a lot of sexual fics lately and wanted to change it up :) have fun! Also made my posts prettier )

Synopsis: You don't check the news often enough, so when civilians were warned against walking near or through a certain area you were none the wiser... Giving your stalker a chance to save you from doom.

Luminary x Reader.

Warnings: Mentioned stalking, kidnapping, not edited at all :(.

You had a routine. Get up bright and early for your 7 AM office job, get to work, come home at 2 PM, relax for 2 or so hours, then go out for a short walk at the park near your apartment. You never really deviate from your usual walking pattern, yet today you felt adventurous– Ironic, of all days to be adventurous and wander off to a new path that same exact path ends up being infested with blood-lusted slime creatures from the dark abyss of this world.

Obviously you thought something was off but you just could not put your finger on it! Sure it was creepy how as you kept walking the area got quieter, lonelier, darker, but you just thought that there was some superhero nearby and everyone wanted a picture with them, that has happened before. Or maybe today just wasn’t your day, your natural ‘hey this feels dangerous let’s turn back’ system may be experiencing some difficulties… And now you find yourself running faster than you have ever run in your life. Leaping away from the hungry monsters attempting to catch you and devour you.

These slimy demons had popped up a few decades ago, a few years after the sudden appearance of super humans. No one knows where either came from, how they sprung, or the exact science behind their sudden appearance. But now they’re here, not a lot of people get blessed with super powers, and those who do immediately get enlisted, either by their own will or their parents force them to when they’re young. Some people don’t enlist even with superpowers, some people have such rare superpowers that they’re forced into the work field, those people mostly being healers and supernaturally intelligent people.

You were none of those, a normal average human, with a normal average job, and a normal average routine. And here you were, endangering your life, for your stupid physical health. Not like you’d have any of your physical health after this, you’re going to be in a monster’s stomach in about 5 minutes. You already were slowing down, the constant zig zagging decreasing your stamina fast. Looking back at the monsters chasing you.

What you didn’t expect was to stumble over an exposed cable, falling flat on your face, your ears start ringing, blocking out the noises of your own panting and whimpering as well as the monster's evil noises. You immediately huddled into the fetal position, as if it would minimize any of the tormenting pain you’ll be feeling soon but… nothing, no ripping of the skin, no crushing of the bones, no hearts being slowly devoured by evil monsters. None of it.

Yet you kept your eyes clenched shut, maybe the monsters are confused with your stupidity that they just stood there processing before they finally have at it. Slowly the ringing in your ears subsided, and you heard nothing, no growling monsters or anything, nothing other than your own panting, as well as… footsteps? The sound of a sly chuckle startles you, causing you to crack open your eyes and you were greeted by the shining bright smile of the world famous superhero, Luminary.

Luminary– A man of unnaturally strong power, he was invincible, untouchable. You liked him enough for saving the city many times before but didn’t really idolize him, superhero or not he still was a human with human emotions, whatever people say about him online can still affect him. So you kept to yourself when it came to superhero affairs. But from the short snippets you’d see online you had a lot in common with him, shows, interests, hobbies. You always thought that it was all a carefully crafted lie to make him seem more relatable to the average plebeians, or whatever who knows.

You were star struck, ironically enough you wanted to act normal around him but you couldn’t even form words. Luminary’s shining smile still pointed towards you. He held out his hand, intending for you to grasp at it and use it to steady yourself up. “Hello there! I take it you haven’t seen the news this morning, huh? Haha! No worries, your trusty hero is always there to save you.” You just sat there gaping up at him, the personal embodiment of a star.

Maybe it was the exhaustion, the shock, or the superhero in front of you, but you fainted, completely collapsed, thankfully you didn’t hit your head since you were already lying down.

Luminary had watched you run for your life from the creatures earlier. But he couldn’t care less of them, his eyes were on you, the person he’s had a crush on since the 11th grade, you never knew of his existence but he didn’t care, he’ll eventually weasel his way into your life but right now he’s content on stalking you. Or so he thought, until you endangered your life and almost got yourself killed when you tripped.

Seeing the once in a lifetime opportunity to weasel his way into your life. Luminary picked you right off the dirty ground, his heartbeat accelerating, every little part of you he touches feels like electricity. Years of one sided obsession and just now is he making contact with you, practically committing himself to abstinence just for you. Luminary felt like a schoolgirl as he giggled at the sight of you resting your head on his shoulder. Luminary’s flight home was delightful, you smelt amazing, and you even snuggled into him in your sleep! He could just explode! Once he entered his humble abode, Luminary placed you on his bed, his eyes practically turning heart shaped at the thought of late night cuddles with you…

#x reader #yandere x reader #oc x reader #yandere x darling #gn reader #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere hero #yandere hero x reader

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bloompawz · 1 month

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Reworking the A/Grey/Allo/Orchid Attraction System

As it stands currently, the a-spectrum encompasses any identity involving little or no attraction. This includes all grey orientations by default. The allo spectrum is treated as less of a spectrum, but more of a term for people who aren’t a-spec or grey. I think that this ultimately ends up being confusing, and could use some reworking.

(Some people might be getting a little anxious about where I'm going with this, especially if you're greysexual/demisexual/etc, so I want to make it clear right away: This rework is not designed to invalidate or exclude you.)

I keep seeing the a-spec get stretched to encompass more and more experiences, such as meneromantic: a term for people who experience romantic attraction easily, but prefer not to act on it unless they think their crush will reciprocate… Which just describes how most alloromantic people approach their attraction.

This was described as an “aro-spec” orientation, and as an aromantic person, I feel like that misses the point of the spectrum completely. I admit, it is a pretty niche term, and isn’t the end of the world, but it’s a symptom of a larger problem.

It’s becoming clear, at least to me, that people are unsure how to draw the line between a-spec and allo, due to the subjectivity of what “little attraction” even is, to the point of both terms becoming less meaningful over time. I don’t even know where I’m supposed to fit among those terms myself, at least when it comes to sexual attraction. I’ve actually opted not to label my sexuality largely for that reason; it’s why I’m a neu aro.

So I wanted to take a shot at proposing a change. Not for the sake of excluding or assimilating, but for the sake of making attraction/orientations more easy to navigate and explore, especially for people who are questioning. I made an effort to make this rework as inclusive as possible, while also being much more clearly understood. If you experience attraction and identify as a-spec, don’t worry! The rework still includes you; it just includes you in terms which are easier to define.

A-spec

The a-spectrum, under the rework, includes any identity which is defined by zero attraction, as well as experiences adjacent to that. In other words, if a person experiences absolutely no sexual attraction, no romantic attraction, and/or no tertiary attraction, they are a-spec. This includes:

Asexual: Experiencing zero sexual attraction, or having an adjacent experience to this.

Aromantic: Experiencing zero romantic attraction, or having an adjacent experience to this.

Aplatonic: Experiencing zero platonic attraction, or having an adjacent experience to this.

Cupio: Experiencing zero (sexual/romantic/platonic/etc.) attraction, but desiring a relationship commonly associated with that attraction anyway. For example, desiring a sexual relationship as an asexual person.

Apothi: Experiencing zero (sexual/romantic/platonic/etc.) attraction, and feeling repulsed by relationships and/or activities associated with that attraction. For example, being asexual and sex-repulsed.

Icula: Experiencing zero (sexual/romantic/platonic/etc.) attraction, but being open to relationships/activities commonly associated with that attraction anyway. For example, being asexual and open to sex.

Etc.

“Experiences adjacent to that” refers to anyone who doesn’t necessarily experience zero attraction, but still:

Feels strongly represented by a-spec identities/experiences.

Strongly relates to a-spec identities/experiences.

Needs access to a-spec resources, communities, and support.

Finds it easy, useful, and/or helpful to identify as a-spec, especially as opposed to not identifying as a-spec.

Finds one’s attraction to be irrelevant to one’s life, either because it’s so vague or infrequent that it has no impact, because one has negative interest in acting on it, or because one’s attraction otherwise has no relevance.

Note that “experiencing little attraction” is not a qualifier on its own, because what’s “little” is entirely subjective, and can be incredibly difficult to define. Note that you do not have to check each bullet point in the list above to be a-spec; just one is enough.

Greysexuality, greyromanticism, etc. can be a-spec, but these identities are not a-spec by default. It depends on the individual, their own experiences, and how they define/feel about their own identity.

Grey-spec

The grey spectrum, under the rework, includes any identity which doesn’t fit neatly into an a-or-allo binary. This includes:

People who aren’t sure whether they’re a-spec or allo-spec.

People who resonate with both a-spec and allo-spec identities/experiences.

People who resonate with neither a-spec nor allo-spec identities/experiences.

People whose identities are in constant flux, and thus difficult or impossible to pinpoint as a-spec or allo-spec.

People who fit into the a-spec category, but feel like the a-spec category is still insufficient in some way.

People who fit into the allo-spec category, but feel like the allo-spec category is still insufficient in some way.

People who feel like they fit somewhere between “experiencing attraction” and “not experiencing attraction” in some way.

Anyone else who can’t or won’t fit themselves into an a-or-allo binary.

Greysexuality, greyromanticism, etc. can be a-spec and/or allo-spec, but these identities are not either by default. It depends on the individual, their own experiences, and how they define/feel about their own identity.

I think this is a much needed change, not just because this is easier to define than figuring out what “little attraction” means, but because grey-specs don’t always want to be pigeonholed into being a-spec by default. It is a grey area, after all.

Allo-spec

The allo spectrum, under the rework, includes any identity in which one experiences attraction, no matter how much or how little. This includes:

People who experience little attraction.

People who experience a moderate amount of attraction.

People who experience a lot of attraction.

I’ve decided to include all experiences of present attraction in this spectrum because it can be extremely hard (or impossible) to quantify how much attraction you experience in comparison to other people. If you experience attraction, it isn’t necessarily going to be clear whether you experience a lot or a little or something between. Including all present attraction under the allo-spec, no matter the amount, makes it much easier to define where you fall within these spectra.

Greysexuality, greyromanticism, etc. can be allo-spec, but these identities are not allo-spec by default. It depends on the individual, their own experiences, and how they define/feel about their own identity.

Orchid-spec

This is an additional spectrum for people who experience attraction, but do not want to act on that attraction. For example, an orchidsexual person experiences sexual attraction, but does not want to have sex under any circumstances.

I didn’t come up with this spectrum, but I’ve decided to include it here, because a person may feel that orchid-spec is the only spectrum that feels relevant to their experience, with a/grey/allo being completely irrelevant or inapplicable. Though, a person may resonate with orchid-spec in addition to other spectra, which is also valid!

Overlapping spectra

All spectra within this proposed system can overlap in some instances.

For example, if a person experiences attraction, but feels strongly represented by a-spec identities, they could be a combination of a-spec, grey-spec, and allo-spec. They might identify with one spectrum more than the others, but they would be included in all three.

As another example, a person may fall under all four spectra, because:

Their attraction is irrelevant to them, so they identify as a-spec.

They relate to both a-spec and allo-spec, so they identify as grey-spec.

They experience attraction, so they identify as allo-spec.

They don’t want to act on their attraction, so they identify as orchid-spec.

A person might also identify as both grey-spec and a-spec, but not allo-spec, because they don’t know whether they experience attraction or not, but they relate to a-spec identities and experiences.

Another person might fall under both allo-spec and grey-spec, but not a-spec, because they experience attraction, but feel that the allo-spec is insufficient to describe their identity, while also not resonating with the a-spec at all.

These are just a few examples of how spectra could possibly overlap. There are other ways that these spectra could be combined which have not been listed here.

And of course, it's up to you how you identify! I just wanted to propose a system which (hopefully) makes attraction easier to understand and navigate.

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wangxianficfinder · 11 months

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Fic Finder

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1. Can you help me find a fic? It was a poly ship, with I think Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng, Jin Zixuan, and Wei Wuxian. Possibly also Nie Huaisang? LWJ, JC, JZX (+maybe NHS) were divine beasts and WWX was another mythical beast but he hid it. I don’t think they were all romantically involved: WWX was the pivot between the others. It was abo or a fated-soulmate au. I think I might be getting two fics confused though, because I remember there is one where WWX, LWJ, JC, and JZX form some kind of soul bond and they fight through the Sunshot Campaign together and they can read each other’s thoughts and bring each other back to life, but this one is not that one! Can’t remember that one’s name either and it isn’t in my bookmarks. TT

FOUND? I’m pretty sure the one with the fourway soulbond is Quartet series by WithBroomBefore (T, 69k, Platonic Soulbond, Hurt/comfort, Canon Divergence, No golden core transfer, JC&JZX stay in Xuanwu cave, Fix-it, Temporary character death)

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2. Hello! I am looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian is a hairstylist. Rich!Lan Wangji keeps coming back even though originally he would only make an appointment with the owner. Likes his scalp massage. I can't remember if the owner is Huaisang or Wen Ning. Thank you for your help! @toopunkrockforshul

FOUND! Delivered in Silence by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 17k, WangXian, Modern AU, Slow Burn, hairstylist!WWX, client!LWJ, Horny WangXian)

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3. For fic finder: An mpreg fic: in the Gusu lectures Jin Zixuan rapes Wei Wuxian, and so Madame Yu pulls WWX out of classes and drags him back to Lotus Pier where he is confined in secret for a year to have the child. The story continues on through the canon storyline with WWX repeatedly clashing with JZX especially over his engagement to Yanli. LWJ realizes that JZX hurt WWX and stands by WWX’s side to face JZX. I think it was a very long fic.(wangxian endgame, not WWX/JZX)

FOUND! secrets for the stars to keep by UchiHime (M, 37k, WangXian, XuanXian, XuanLi, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mpreg, Canon Divergence, not a/b/o, Hurt/Comfort, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Recovery)

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4. Help me please! I am struggling to find a fic due to tumblr’s dumb search system (I know I originally found it due to this blog). The fic involves Lan Zhan slowly turning into jade and Wei Wuxian is asked to help bc he is great at breaking curses! It turns into the two of them basically doing a bucket list for Lan Zhan and it was very cute! @flamboyantly-asexual

FOUND! A Curse of a Different Color by nickel710 (G, 35k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivation, Curses, Curse Breaking, Asexual polyamory, Repressed LWJ, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drunk LWJ, Falling In Love, WWX Being an Idiot, Non-explicit vomit, just a tiny reference to it, Anxiety)

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5. Hi! For the fic finder, I vaguely remember reading a summary where lwj turns into a girl and has to have an orgasm in order to get back to being a boy or something along those lines? Sorry, that's the only thing I remember about it but I need it 😭🙏🏼

FOUND! Coming Back to Yourself by acernor (E, 21k, WangXian, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Oral Sex, Pining, Gender or Sex Swap, Vaginal Sex)

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6. Hi, I'm looking for a fic, large I believe, where a transmigrator was born as Xichen... Any idea which can be @krysaniar

FOUND? the eve of dawn by theAbandoned_Grimoire (G,132k, LXC & LWJ, LXC & QHJ & LWJ, LQR & QHJ, NHS & NMJ, future wangxian, canon divergence, dumb LXC au, hurt/comfort, angst & feels, fluff, dysfunctional family, happy ending, implied/referenced character death, minor character death, slow burn)

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7. Hello! I’m looking for a fic I read a while back. My memory is a bit vague, so take with a grain of salt. Plot: Lan Wangji is stressed (forgot if it was just stress or if it was autism related) so Wei Wuxian uses his body as a weighted blanket, just laying on top of LWJ. (I think WWX buys him an actual weighted blanket later on but LWJ prefers WWX as a weighted blanket. Also, I think they get together at end of fic, but I’m not sure.) thanks in advance for your help! It’s greatly appreciated! @dweebdaweeb

FOUND? Happy for Now by ScarlettStorm (E, 79k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Rule 63, Cisswap, There Was Only One Bed, romance author au, Adhd wwx, service top LWJ, Pining, Smut, Comedy, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, horny yearning, furtive masturbation, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Sex Toys) there was a scene like that in 'Happy for Now' by ScarlettStorm

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8. hi ! i’m looking for a fic set in post canon where i’m pretty sure wangxian we’re tg, they go on a hunt where smth puts everyone to sleep and eventually kills. but rlly the curse tricks you into showing u a horrible nightmare that u think is ur reality so u stay asleep. wei ying sees lan zhan die in front of him and he’s super angry and resentful that lan zhan would leave him, and after the funeral he ends up leaving cloud recesses and suzhui bc he can’t be there without him. eventually he is woken up and finds out it was a dream, but wei ying talks to lan zhan and is like “how did you not resent me i chose to leave you”. i cant find it anywhere !!

FOUND? more damage than a soul should see by Kika988 (M, 12k, WangXian, Heavy Angst, Whump, Post-Canon, Please see notes for specific warnings!)

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9. Hello Mods!

I have two fics I'm looking for, that I have regrettably lost amidst my 53 pages of AO3 subscriptions (yes it is a lot no I will not shrink it I have 20+ fandoms I enjoy I am an unrepentant).

A) 1st is a Golden core reveal fic which also included Wangji telling Wuxian about the marriage ribbon and the two of them serving tea to Jiang Cheng and Yanli after it.

B) 2nd is a modern AU fic where Wuxian is a Hacker? Code writer? for his main job but also is a music teacher I think while Wangji works in hospital? They have a big concert together is what I remember.

Any help finding these two gems is greatly appreciated! (^_^♪)

9B)

FOUND? Come Around and Stay by trippednfell (M, 160k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, Found Family, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, PTSD, Blood and Injury, Dissociation, So much trauma, Angst with a Happy Ending, Takes a while to work through it, Musicals, POV Alternating, Baking, Yunmeng reconciliation (eventually), Friend Zoning, Literal Sleeping Together, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks)

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10. I'm looking for a fic where they mention that something that sometimes stops cultivators leaving the sects and going rogue is having to pay the forge prices of their swords. IIRC it was in the context of the Lan sect helping WWX get out from the Jiangs by paying the forge price for him. Please and thank you!

FOUND! Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (Not rated, 64k, JL & WWX, wangxian, post-canon, protective WWX, protective JL, JC & WWX reconciliation, reluctant matchmaker JL, pre-JL/LJY) Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller mentions disciples that leave have to pay to keep their sword, but it's about Luo Qingyang and the Jins

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11. Hi! It has been a while. So there's this ff that I have read before and I cannot remember the title. So it goes like

Wei Ying was going to destroy the Yin Tiger Tally and he knows he's gonna die in process. Jin Ling's 100th day is also coming up so he insists A-Yuan to go there too with someone I cannot remember (but I think it was Song Lan) and he told A-Yuan to find Lan Zhan. I think he also wrote some letters for the people invited there to read. A-Yuan started crying I think and yelling that Gold was bad (he was refering to the Jins because they tortured them on camps before).

Pov to Wen Qing and Wen Ning. They weren't aware that Wei Ying was going to destroy the Yin Tiger. I think Wei Ying told them to buy something or collect something. So while they were out Wei Ying started to destroy the Yin Tiger. Wen Qing senses something was wrong and hurriedly went back to the Burial Mounds. Time skip Wei Ying still dies (?) Wen Qing was trying to revive him until she passes out. Time skip again Lan Zhan Jiang Yanli Jin Zixuan came to the burial mounds, Jin Zixuan got shot by an arrow and was poisoned so Jiang Yanli find Wen Qing and beg at her to save her husband. I don't remember much but at some point they saw Wei Ying's corpse.

Last time I read it, it was still incomplete. I hope you can help me with this. Thank you @hellothere9597

FOUND? #11 i think its a deleted fic. The title is When I'm Gone by qiankun_pouch . Its fit the description that are mentioned

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12. Hi I'm looking for a fic where Wei ying is obessed with marrying a rich man, so he goes to parties with meng Yao looking for one..Meanwhile Lan Zhan his room mate is rich and hiding it. He detests those who seek money. They have chemistry. But Wei ying never wants to risk being back in poverty. And Lan Zhan he into him a lot but he doesn't want Wei ying to be with him for Money.Wen ning is also a roommate. @imgonnablogtheworldtodeath

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13. Hello!! This is a fic finder request but first I have to let you know that ur all doing gods work and that I appreciate u all sm!!

Ok so im not sure if im doing this correctly but I’m looking for this fic that I lost where lwj almost dies in nightless city saving jyl. Lxc was able to save him by binding their souls together or smth at the last minute and then he hid lwj away in qinghe where he’s basically in a comatose state. Wwx thinks lwj is dead and blames himself and iirc he turns himself in at cr and gets whipped? Also lxc 100% blames wwx for lwj’s near death and pretty much hates him. I also remember that when lwj woke up and wwx saw him he went a little crazy and wouldn’t believe he was real

Again thank you all sm for your hard work!! @kitekichenqin

FOUND? If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Loss, YLLZ WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn)

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14. Hello! I am looking for this fic I read a reaaaaally long time ago. The only thing I remember is that wwx died but not really when he was on his way to jin lings one month celebration (ik it's really vague up till here) and wen ning takes him back and then goes to the banquet and talks with the main characters there privately. Thanks in advance! @la-diabla

FOUND? End Racism in the OTW | The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)

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15. During Gusu lectures LWJ and WWX spar and something sparks between them like dual cultivation? I think they were already in a relationship at that point, and during the spar they are giddy with the thrill of the fight and, feeling their energy circling, it gets them horny and they, pardon the crassness, jerk each other off in a hallway after they drag each other off the field. @gloriousclotpole

FOUND! 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 663k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement)

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16. hellooooo I've been looking for this fic but I can't find it all I remember is Thant lwj goes back in the past after wwx's death (during the cloud recess study arc) and it ends withe a threesome with him wwx and younger lz. also at the end he goes back to the futur to wait for 'his' wwx can you help ????? thanks for all that you do !!!!!✨✨✨✨✨✨

~*~

17. hii i was looking for this wangxian fic where I think they accidentally end up taking care of a-yuan? the only thing i remember from the fic is that around the end social services or cps take a-yuan away from wangxian for a day or two and then they have to go sign some papers before they can have a-yuan back. that's all i remember sorry 😭 i read it a long time ago maybe 2020/2021? I've been looking for it for ages and i can't find it, please help 🥺

FOUND? All those roads are pointing to you by jiejieaini (E, 81k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Drowning, Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bunnies, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Dubious Consent, Dom/sub Undertones, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WangXian Have a Breeding Kink, Rimming, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Marriage Proposal)

~*~

18. Zero idea if you still do this, but Im looking for a certain fanfic which is about lwj and wwx moving together i think because he was kicked out by madam yu, because he outed himself and I remember Lan Xichen being very supportive and even going back to the house to retrieve wwx‘s belongings and ofc lwj and wwx fall in love other the time course

FOUND? Found Family by fyredancer (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fluff, Getting Together, POV Outsider, Dysfunctional Family, Coming Out, Bad Parenting, Protective Older Brothers, Protective Siblings)

FOUND? Where is home? by SpicyRamen_10969 (M, 42k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Coming Out, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Supportive LQR, Good Sibling LXC, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, JC Being an Asshole, Possible Smut?)

~*~

19. Hello, this is an FicFinder request.

I don't remember much, but it was a rare-pairing of WRH and WWX. I'm not sure if it was a time travel fic. When bunny was 14 or something, a water deity came from the waters of Yunmeng and told him of his powers/potentials. Bunny then was take. To kunlun mountain or smth like that and found out that he controlled the void, darkness, some elements as well. He meditated and became immortal and had lived for more than 200 years in another realm. In Yunmeng, he was still a kid and went to seclusion to complete his meditation or something. He also had a wife/lover in underworld and it was a mix of Greek mythology and others as well. @tinyfoxpeach

~*~

20. I particularly remember that it is a four part series with one fic rewritten. It's basically post burial mounds siege where wwx ascended to immortality, and lwj ascended after his 33 discipline whip punishment. Lwj's injuries were so grave that it carried to his ascension. It's not specified but lwj ends up in wwx's domain and wwx goes batshit after finding out what the lan sect did and confronted them. Mostly fluff and angst. @bananatoffeepie

FOUND? Deity AU by crypticidentity (M, 5k, wangxian, hurt/comfort, madness, implied/Referenced character death, whipping, angst, protective WWX, BAMF WWX, deity WWX, deity LWJ) check all the tags before reading!

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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heyftinally · 4 months

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Okay, more thoughts from reading Loveless and being starkly reminded of my own life.

My dear fellow asexuals,

It's okay if your relationship to sex fluctuates.

It can be scary as fuck if you aren't expecting it, though.

For the longest time, I thought I was sex averse. Big no, not interested, never gonna happen. That was my truth for years.

Until it wasn't.

I was still asexual. I wasn't thinking about it or wanting it, say, in the middle of class when thinking about the person I was with. But I also wasn't opposed to it if they were in the mood when we were alone.

And that was a lot for me to come to terms with, especially while being in my first visibly queer relationship, and with that relationship being allo/ace with my allo partner really not understanding my aceness, *and* a whole list of other factors.

To put it bluntly, shit's scary.

So if you're ace and ever find yourself in a similar position where your feelings towards/relationship with sex changes dramatically (either way), whether now or in the future, I want you to remember some things I wish I'd Han an elder ace to tell me:

It's okay.

This doesn't mean you're suddenly not ace, or you were faking being ace before, or that you were faking how you felt about sex before, nor does it mean you're faking now.

This doesn't inherently mean you're changing yourself for your partner. Just because they may have been a catalyst doesn't automatically mean you're just pretending how you feel to make them happy (if that is what's happening, though, dump them and find someone who doesn't pressure you to change your relationship to sex to make them more comfortable - that's gross and you deserve better).

You're still ace, if that label still feels like home.

You're still valid in your sexuality.

It's okay if this is temporary, and it's okay if it's not.

You're allowed to feel however you feel about it: confused, scared, angry, sad, excited, overjoyed, and any combination of these or anything else.

If you have someone you can talk to it about and feel comfortable doing so, reach out. Lean on your support system.

It's okay to need to take a step back and sit with yourself and just come to terms with your new truth.

It's okay if it feels heavy, and it's okay if it doesn't.

Our community still loves and accepts you.

🖤 🩶 🤍 💜

#asexual #asexuality #sex favorable asexual #sex favorable #sex neutral #sex neutral asexual #sex averse #sex averse asexual #sex favorable ace #sex neutral ace #sex averse ace #loveless #alice oseman #alice oseman loveless #loveless alice oseman #osemanverse #asexual community #ace community

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web-novel-polls · 9 months

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Aroace-spec Character Winners' Tournament

[Please vote for who you believe has the most canon evidence to be aroace-spec, not the most popular. It will never be acceptable to post "anti-propaganda" in this tournament or invalidate a suggested identity because "they're not aroace enough." You will be blocked unless it's clearly a genuine mistake / misphrasing.]

Propaganda underneath the cut

Shen Qingqiu from The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Submission 1: Gay Asexual

I mean have you met the man? "Assuming you're straight because you feel nothing towards either sex but you have to be the default, right? before realizing you're romantically attracted to someone but not realizing you're romantically attracted to someone because it doesn't feel like sexual attraction which is how allos explain what love is until the romantic attraction hits you like a sledge hammer" is both a common ace experience and absolutely his story arc. Also I would have submitted him sooner but I thought he was a shoe in

Submission 2:

Asexual, somewhere on the aro spectrum - I would have submitted him earlier but based on the tags I assumed I wouldn't need to and didn't want op to be spammed with too many submissions ;_; anyhow he's here now!

Mod Propaganda

Was completely okay with not marrying anyone (because all the women in the world “belong to the protagonist”)

So fucking weird about sex. He has to mentally contort his brain seven ways to Sunday to even IMAGINE fucking someone (earning him the title of “most homophobic gay person”)

“He’s not gay, Binghe is”

Reads bad erotica and then complains about the plot inconsistencies

Accidentally wife beams/romances pretty much every single character he meets

Liu Qingge from Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Submission 1: Gay Grayace

He spends most of his life with one interest and that's fighting and then when he falls for a man he's confused by it and proceeds to flirt in the most awkward way possible. Also he has the grey-white-sometimes purple colour scheme

Submission 2: Aroace

The idea of him being asexual is presented right there on the page and you can't take that away from me. Yes I think he is in love with sqq yes I also think he is aroace. He can be both!

Submission 3: Asexual/Ace-spec

I think he’s sex repulsed given his icy or horrified reactions when sexual topics are discussed. He was also once forcibly aroused when hit by an aphrodisiac, and he responded in a way that implied he had never experienced that before. Additionally, his instinct was not to do anything sexual, but to commit acts of violence.

Mod Propaganda

Canonically not interested in romance by word of God

MXTX: “[Liu Qingge] isn't interested in Shen Qingqiu. He isn't interested in anyone. He's only interested in fighting. He wants to be the strongest and the best.” (Source)

Canonically had no clue he was sexually aroused in the Succubi Extra / interpreted it as “wanting to fight” (which isn’t the same as not experiencing sexual attraction, but that’s also not a trademark of allosexuality)

Speaking of, he never specifically seems interested in Shen Qingqiu romantically or sexually - he’s usually shipped with him bc of his devotion, not a clear desire for romance. Though that’s pretty much just up for personal interpretation

#shen qingqiu #liu qingge #svsss #aroace spec character tournament #aroace spec winners semifinals #polls #queue

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the-astral-clump · 1 year

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PLURALITY & PRIDE

On the first day of Pride Month we decided to write a little thing about how our plurality and our queerness affect each other.

But before that, lets get some things out of the way: This is a safe space for every system and any who identify with multiplicity. This is also a safe space for every good-faith identity. We also greatly encourage other systems/plurals to share their own experiences. <3 (mind you this post is a bit long and rambly so theres a closing message slash tldr at the end)

Alright! That being said, this is half describing our fuckyweird identities as a system and half a love letter to it all.

Labels are things that I (the host, Alex) have strugged with for very long time. Since the way we experience such things like fronting as blending, blurring, and/or passive influence I often find it difficult to differentiate my sexuality and gender from my headmates, due to this melding of sometimes contradictory identities (for example, Alex and Mae being transmasc and transfem respectively) we often experience some very.. well.. queer feelings. We all have different appearances in headspace, and due to the nature of our headspace, we can often change these at will. This however (unfortunately) cant be transated into our physical body, which is afab. You can perhaps imagine the feelings that might arise from having an alter who is and enjoys a feminine body co-front with an alter who is a lot more masc leaning, or maybe you can't. Either way you can at least imagine how confusing this can be, having two voices, two entirely separate people, share a body and wish for entirely different things for it. Having alters who experience different levels of romantic and sexual attraction as well as attraction to different genders. How it might feel to have a largely asexual alter co-front with an allosexual alter with a very high libido, how it might feel for a bisexual alter to blur with a homosexual alter unable to really percieve the presence of eachother. Often Alex and Sasha co-front, Alex is aroacespec and experiences minimal attraction though usually towards men, Sasha is m-spec and (very) allosexual. They also feel differently as to presentation, Sasha being much more feminine than Alex, this can lead to weird dysphoric feelings, feeling gay and bi feeling like a girl but also mlm, feeling so many different ranges of conflicting emotions and identities.

Although things like this have brought us great frustration and caused conflicts within the system, this pride month we want to instead celebrate these incongurences in identity. We want to celebrate having complicated identities, having feelings that perhaps conflict with eachother. Because this is real, what we experience is real and it deserves recognition and respect. This is something that can and should apply to everyone, regardless of wether they identify as plural, queer, or anything else. So here's for a lovely pride month, to my fellow queer systems, and to all the people and creatures whose identities dont fit into a solid mold.

closing message/ tldr; As a system we experience many conflicting and weird combinations of indentities and we are learning to live and love this aspect ouf our lives, and hope others can too. You deserve love, pride includes those with complex identities, be weird, be yourself, be queer unabashedly and love yourself for it. <3

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aromantic-diaries · 9 months

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hello. i know that this is not a help blog (feel free to delete this ask) but i need help and i don't know where else to go.

i am barely old enough to be on the internet, and it can be argued that i am too young to know whether i am ace, but the thought of puberty (as in increasing libido and beginning to feel sexual attraction and/or romance) horrified and disgusts me. i tried asking my mom for advice, but all she would say was that i was too young to know.

i don't want to be a late bloomer. i don't want to bloom at all. i'm terrified that puberty will turn me into something that isn't me. i cannot stress how genuinely horrifying sexual attraction and libido are to me. i don't know how i would cope if i felt either of them.

i just. even if you don't want to answer this ask, could you just say something like "hey anon, you know who you are, x could probably help you". please

Okay, first thing's first stay safe on the internet. Anyways I don't believe in telling people they're too young to know if they're ace but I do think it's probably easier to know if you're ace or not once you've hit puberty

Now as someone who's gone through puberty, one thing I can assure you of is that it doesn't just creep up on you and get you all of a sudden, for the most part the changes occur slowly and steadily. A lot of it is pretty uncomfortable and feels gross but that's mostly cause as a kid you're kind of taught that bodies are taboo when really that's just how we're put together. Having a body is gross sometimes and that's okay. As for libido and sexual attraction, I think it's best to take it slow and learn about it from a safe source. I know sex ed is flimsy in most schools and I was unfortunate enough to learn about sex through the internet which lead to a lot of confusion so I recommend asking a trustworthy adult that you feel safe with to explain things to you. If that's not an option, there's probably some good sources online or in your local library. Understanding sexuality can make it a lot less scary

I don't know if you're ace or not. If the idea of sex makes you uncomfortable as of now, it could be cause you're still very young. Regardless of what the case is, you don't have to rush into it. Your safety is important and I should warn you that the internet is a scary place and finding porn is way too easy, and being exposed to that stuff at a young age can seriously mess with your brain chemistry. If you do end up experiencing sexual attraction, the most important thing is to explore it safely. Don't interact with people in NSFW spaces on the internet, if you reeeally want to look at that stuff, only lurk. There's a lot of creeps online and any adult who isn't a creep will tell you to stay out of these online spaces for the sake of your own safety. Same goes for reading fanfic. No one can really stop you from reading it if you want to read it but the 18+ warning is there for a reason. As for actually having sex, only do it once you know you're ready and with someone you really do like. And if you are ace after all, I recommend taking the time to learn about the identity so you can understand yourself better.

I should also mention that having a libido is something that can happen even if you do turn out to be asexual. This is because if someone's a mammal with all their parts in tact they'll come equipped with a reproductive system and all it's functions, regardless of whether or not they want to use it. So don't be alarmed if you feel stuff even though you don't really want to do anything about it, it might feel uncomfortable but that's mother nature for you.

I hope I could make this whole ordeal a bit less intimidating for you, apologies if I sound condescending at times, I'm just trying to talk about things without being creepy (at the end of the day I am still a stranger)

If anyone in the audience has some good resources that could be helpful for youngsters, it'd be greatly appreciated

#anon #mail time

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transbeeduo · 1 year

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Hey! Welcome to my Blog! Call me Crunch! I'm fine with whatever pronouns, but I mostly alternate between She/He/They! I identify as Asexual, Ambiamorous, and Panromantic! Also I’m an adult 👍

Alt Tumblr: @eelblazes (CURRENTLY MUTUALS ONLY) TIMES I HAVE HIT POST LIMIT: 11

https://linktr.ee/transbeeduo (I also have a Discord, which Mutuals are free to ask/dm for!)

I'm primarily a MCYTBLR blogger! I mostly tend to stick to the DSMP side of things, although I'll often post about OSMP and QSMP, and occasionally dabble in other MCYT related fandoms! Along with that I post about Five Nights At Freddy's, Pokémon, or whatever else I'm interested in at the time!

TAGGING SYSTEM

Crunch's Nibbles: Used for just my little ramblings, and not any significant stuff

Crunch's Bites: Used for more significant, longer posts. Usually analysis or like me just making a fucking paragraph about C!Bee Duo or something

Crunch's Chomps: Headcanons!! These r going to be more for like. Posts that are dedicated headcanon sharing posts, like my headcanons about how I imagine DSMP is like post-finale. (EXTREMELY IMPORTANT NOTE: PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ANY TRIGGER TAGS PUT IN THESE POSTS BECAUSE DARK/POSSIBLY TRIGGERING CONTENT IS DISCUSSED IN DETAIL IN SOME OF THESE)

My Art/Asks: I'm putting these together because they're pretty self-explanatory. But it's art I make and asks I receive! (Feel free to send me asks! I love getting them always!)

SYSTEM TAGS (Not used super often due to mostly just being me here)

⛏️ : Posts from C!Crunch (NOT Crunch Transbeeduo!! Two different people!)

🎸: Posts from Monty (Montgomery Gator Fictive)

📼: Posts from Cassette/Cass (Generation Loss/CC!Ranboo Factive. DON'T FUCKING NOTIFY RANBOOLIVE ABOUT THEM BTW DON'T DO THAT SHIT)

🪓: Posts from Ares/Techno (DSMP/OSMP Technoblade fictive)

📺: Posts from Lolbit (Lolbit Fictive)

🎁: Posts from Oleander/FMAN (FMAN122 Fictive)

🔥: Posts from Pyro/Sapnap/Saps (C!Sapnap Fictive)

🌋: Posts from Groudon (C!Tubbo/Groudon/Q!Tubbo fictive)

Anything not tagged: Almost always Crunch Transbeeduo! Just assume it's them!

(LINKS TO A PRONOUNS.CC PAGE WITH MORE INFORMATION COMING EVENTUALLY)

I quite like every DSMP character, so they'll all tend to show up on this blog, but the most discussed here are C!Beeduo (if it wasn't obvious), along with Michael + my Fankids for them! (Found under "#Bug Posts" and "#Wizard Posts") but I also quite like The Eggpire/Badlands, The Syndicate, and Las Nevadas!

For OSMP I'm usually going to stick to O!Beeduo, while for QSMP I'm quite a fan of Q!Tubbo and Q!BBH! (I don't watch QSMP, only really absorb it through the dash! I do have plans to watch it soon though!)

(Credits for these!)

CC Banner: @////tmmyhug (X added by me)

Beeduo Banner: @////cannosoup

Loves Beeduo: @////thedialup

Technoblade, Sootings, and Parasocial Blinkies: @////block-toad

Michael Feed: @////doodlebloo

Genloss Banner @////Pathtrick

Tommy/Tubbo/Phil: @////Offishly

QSMP Eggs + Theory/Analysis Blinkie: @////etoilesbienne

Alliumduo/Peerpressureduo Banners: @////theenderwalker

Koraidon Banner:@///sweetpeauserboxes

Quackcicle/Ranboo Banners: ???? (Couldn't find the OP, if anyone knows please tell me!)

All other banners: Mine!

BOUNDARIES/BYF UNDER CUT (please read!!):

If it's not incredibly obvious, I do NOT want you here if you support the CC! DTeam or William Gold/Wilbur Soot. Get outta here go. Scram

I AM NOT A CC SHIPPER, I AM NOT SHIPPING REAL PEOPLE NOR DO I CARE FOR SHIPPING REAL PEOPLE IN A SERIOUS MANNER. Everything I say shipping/headcanon wise is about FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.

I block somewhat liberally!!!!! Please do not follow me if ur under 15, I post suggestive things on here sometimes!

PLEASE ask if something I discuss needs Content/Trigger warnings!

I'm not the best with words, or articulating the things I'm thinking about really well. If I say something that doesn't make sense or is confusing I'm sorry.

Please do not be weird in my Inbox. Don't ask me about discourse, don't spam me or ask me to follow you or promote your things, don't like be weird to ME. (Also please don’t ask me anything personal, I am uncomfortable sharing that kind of information online)

I AM NOT A DISCOURSE BLOG!!!!!!! I'll discuss it sometimes but that's just because I like being a hater sometimes. Don't treat me as a discourse blog

PLEASE don't send me C!Beeduo /neg shit unprompted, or if you do at least tell me it is.

#not putting this in the main part but remember this IS still my blog so like. if its not for you dont get mad at me #if i missed or phrased anything wrong im gonna scream #pinned post #blinking animation #blinking gif

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dein0nychus · 1 year

Note

siggy give me as much wyvern info as possible

ENABLER!!!!

-Wyverns is invertebrates. They have a lobster-like shell-skeleton-thing beneath their skin that keeps their shape and protects their organs. Their beaks and resonating chambers are coated in keratin to reinforce them. Its much more "Wyvern-shaped" than Earth vertebrate skeletons.

-Wyverns don't have feathers, but rather coarse "hairs" like insects. The hairs are very thick (some individuals acclimated to colder climates can have up to 10 hairs per follicle, but its usually 1 or 2) and stiff. Touching a Wyvern feels like running your hand over a soft-bristle hairbrush. They usually range from 1-4 inches in length and stand straight up and away from the body, but sometimes can be longer and/or "shaggier."

-They come in lots of colors, from purples and blues to reds and oranges! Their color runs down to their skin, so a hairless Wyvern would still retain their color and pattern. Colors are genetic and related clanmates usually share similar colors, inherited from their parents. Brighter colors are considered more attractive, with the exception of pink. Pink wyverns are a form of hypopigmentation where the skin and hairs don't fully develop normal color, so they appear varying shades of pink depending on the levels of pigment in their skin. Rikki is a good example of a hypopigmented Wyvern- he retains some red pigment but is mostly pinkish in color. Pink is often used as an alarm or threat color, as their blood is magenta.

-Wyverns have a bisex system, but it doesn't quite work the same way ours does. One sex can only reproduce sexually with another Wyvern, while the other can reproduce parthenogenically (asexually) as well as sexually. There is no sexual dimorphism between the two. Exclusively sexual reproducers can mate either with the opposite sex or with each other (hence why I hesitate to call the sexes "male" and "female." The closest analogue here on Earth that I can find is gynodioecy, where females and hermaphrodites coexist, with the asexual reproducers being the "females" in this scenario. Confusing, I know. This is also totally prone to retcons as I'm not sold on it yet.)

In line with reproductive stuff while keeping it as SFW as possible, Wyverns are sort of marsupial-like in young development. They form a marsupium (a sort of weird external sack to hold developing offspring in. Isopods do it, its totally cool and weird) on their abdomen, where the offspring develop for a few months before they break out as little scraggly cotton balls called whelps. The whelps can't walk on their own, and are totally dependent on their parents for the first few years of their lives. They can eat solid food from birth but depend on their parents (and other adults in the clan) to carry them around, feed them, and protect them until they're old enough to start flying and their wings get strong enough to walk on. As soon as they're fully flighted, they're considered adults in the way of becoming a full-fledged clan member, but don't become fully physically mature until they're about 20, when their resonating chamber starts to grow out into its full display structure (which takes another year or so to finish.)

That's all I got off the top of my head without further prompting atm!

#volucrus anax #spec bio #xenobiology #xenobio #speculative biology

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a-frog-in-a-bog · 7 months

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https://www.stonewall.org.uk/resources/ace-report

I politely suggest you read it before you make the assumption that is aros and aces don't have problems to face.

If you don't believe us after reading the whole thing, fine, but remember that bigots don't care about our specific identities as to them we are all worth hurting; We all have the same face of hate against us, so whether you like it or not, we're fighting together

Just, give it a read; I promise it'll be worth it.

first i'd like to thank you for being polite and linking an actual source, it's the first time in all my years on tumblr that someone hasn't just plugged their ears and screamed "everyone is valid!!!" so genuinely, thank you. second, the point i was making was that aces and aros don't face systemic oppression, not that they don't have any problems. i'm gonna add and respond to some excerpts i found interesting for anyone who cares / doesn't have time to read the report themselves:

i would've liked to see a further clarifying question on this study about what kind of negative reaction the respondents feared. the only examples given were the above and similar, but we don't know what kind of negative reactions LGBT people anticipated. was it also just intrusive questions, or did they consider negative reactions to be physical violence, being fired, being killed, or being kicked out of their home? would a lesbian respondent consider "so which one of you is the man?" to be a negative reaction or an ignorant one? we have no way of knowing if ace and LGBT respondents had the same criteria for what constitutes a negative reaction

this is wildly unprofessional and would also make me (and i'm betting plenty other people) uncomfortable! not sure why this is presented as a micro-aggression against ace people when it's just inappropriate in general?

another one i would've liked a follow-up question to. is this because ace people are uncomfortable coming out at work or because there just hasn't been a reason to bring up lack of sexual attraction at work?

yeah! i agree! although i'm not sure why this is presented as what an ace-inclusive workplace would look like instead of what a... normal workplace should look like?

this is literally just misogyny. the same shit happens to gay and straight women (also as an aside, pain during pap smears is entirely dependent on personal pain tolerance and anxiety, it's different for everyone and has nothing to do with whether or not you've had sex before. just like how tight or loose a vagina is has nothing to do with how much sex you have. not trying to discredit the woman here, just didn't want to spread misinformation)

this is horrible, and obviously asexuality needs to be taught alongside hypoactive sexual desire disorder in med school so healthcare professionals can tell the difference between the two, as it seems most if not all of these examples stem from doctors and therapists either not knowing the difference or being confused about what asexuality is (since this study is from the UK i'm interested to know if ace people in other countries have had similar experiences, and if asexuality is taught in med school in other places)

again, thank you for sharing! it was very informative and i'll admit i wasn't aware that some ace people face medical discrimination, so i learned something new :) as i've said before, the LGBT and ace communities are a venn diagram, especially where LGBT ace folk are concerned. they're not completely overlapping but not completely separate. most marginalized communities overlap in some way. i know i said this at the start of my reply but it bears repeating-- while everything asexuals faced listed in this report ranged from mildly annoying to downright traumatizing, it's still not an organized legal attempt to criminalize, well, not feeling sexual attraction... and there weren't any hate crimes against aces... do you see what i'm getting at

#mine #id in alt text #lgbt #asexual #aromantic

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anomalymon · 6 days

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I guess taking a minute to complain, but I still don't like the nonhuman unity flag.

A big reason is that it's just the genderqueer flag colors. A couple times now we've seen it used and assume the person also identified as genderqueer, or we want to use the genderqueer flag colors since it's the best genderqueer flag colors but because we're nonhuman we'd get assumed for the nonhuman unity flag. A lot of the times we see the flag used too, it's used in just the colors, which makes this issue even worse.

For the color comparison, here is the nonhuman unity flag edited, genderqueer flag, and suffragette flag:

The genderqueer flag is lighter by comparison, but if you were to see these separate, they look similar. The suffragette flag is already confused for the genderqueer flag almost every time I've seen it used.

I also don't have confirmation of this so feel free to correct me, but we heard it's based on the voidpunk flag, but voidpunk is a community that was based on (among other things) aromantic dehumanization. So it just took the parts of that flag that represented the aromantic and asexual/nonbinary flags, and not even the part that was supposed to represent nonhumanity (the black part, representing a black hole and lack of humanity). The other thing is that while nonhumans can use it, the creator of voidpunk has explicitly said before that voidpunk isn't inherently alterhuman.

Either way, it is a wild coincidence because the flag is just the middle part of the voidpunk flag but inverted.

I also hate that that it's being treated as the "official" nonhuman flag. Someone in our system was on a server where someone was complaining about another person complaining about the nonhuman unity flag and asked "What, are we going to change the flag?" and that's. Exactly what you could do. It's just a flag some person made.

#tumblr is a blogging platform and sometimes we'll use it for complaining tag #alterhuman #nonhuman #it's an aesthetic pleasing flag at least but the community could have done research into either of these things before widely accepting it #i won't namedrop the website that has the color issue but. yeah #this also isn't a pride flag for non queer identity issue but more that this flag just isn't distinguishable #compare to say the disability flag which uses unique symbolism and has a standout design #then this one is just the voidpunk flag cut out with two existing symbols overlayed

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altschmerzes · 8 months

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This is a super personal question so I completely understand if you choose to ignore it but I was wondering about your experience with the whole aro ace thing.? I just, I'm having some questioning confusing thoughts about things and there's such a wide range of things out there when you google I just feel like everytime I get close to being close to someone I panic and want to run because the idea of it isn't what I feel like its suppose to be. I don't know, I just feel kinda broken.

hey bud, sorry this took me a minute to get to, i had a pretty packed day. anyways, i'm gonna do my best to respond and hope i have something useful to say!! i'm always willing and happy to talk about this stuff, i know how hard it can be to muddle through and how unhelpful a lot of stuff out there can be. i'm gonna talk generally about my experience being and especially figuring out i was aro (and ace, i suppose, because while i don't really use the word 'asexual' anymore to define myself because people tended to ignore the aro part and focus on the ace part when the aro part was the part that i felt was more directly relevant to my life anyway, more important to my identity and understanding of myself + others, it like. it would still be accurate to describe me as aroace, i think!) and how i figured that out and some things i hope might be helpful. (this ended up being very long, lmao, sorry)

also - the first and most important thing is you aren't broken. no matter what the reason is you're feeling like this, you aren't Broken for not being comfortable with certain types of relationships or expectations. there's nothing wrong with that, and i'm so sorry you feel that way. i felt like that for a long time myself, and sometimes i still do, and it's terrible.

i don't really remember a lot about how i figured out i was asexual, back when that was a term i regularly and actively identified with. i remember that i freaked out at first, like. panicked about it, wholesale, and i could only really get myself to calm down about it when i reminded myself over and over that i was still 'normal' that i could 'still date and love and have relationships'. which is obviously an arophobic way to present asexuality, and was a huge warning sign of the massive internalized arophobia i was dealing with. it took me a WHILE to accept i even might be aromantic, never mind start identifying that way.

after i concluded that i was aro, it didn't really... get easier, not right away. not for a while, actually. when i first directly identified to myself that 'i am aromantic' i had an epic freak-out that outshone the way i freaked out at my (then) asexual identity by a hundred-fold. i'm talking i literally for over a week afterwards had regular, as in several times daily, panic attacks about it. given my family situation and the way society as a whole portrays and expects friendships to be temporary, situational things that fade as people 'grow up' and get 'real' relationships, i always saw romantic relationships as my only chance for actual love and the ability to build a safe and loving family. i was petrified of being alone and unloved, and that something was deeply wrong with me or missing from me for being unable to love the 'correct' way.

(obviously, this is bullshit. dominant western us american society and the narratives we're exposed to through it are... wrong. i am a person who feels a lot of love very deeply and profoundly, for the people in my life and the world at large, and i am in turn deeply and profoundly loved by the friends that have come to form my support system. i'm getting married in may, to someone with whom i have a completely platonic relationship, and relationship is one that is loving and intimate and happy and exactly what we want it to be.)

i really, really relate to what you say about how every time you get close to 'getting close to' someone you panic and want to run because that's exactly what i did - provided by 'getting close to' there you mean like, in a way that has the potential/likelihood to turn romantic and/or sexual. i always really wanted to be close to people, see above, but it always felt like i was going to have to accept that the only way to get that was to be with them romantically or sexually, and so that's what i figured i wanted whenever i felt warmly towards someone or wanted to be physically or emotionally closer to them.

when i hit high school, that was the point at which it seemed... weird that i wasn't dating and wasn't dating and wasn't dating while it seemed like everyone else was and people were getting Weird about me not dating. and so i dated. or.......... tried to. two or three times, i tried to date, with people i thought were genuinely lovely and fun to be around who i wanted to know better and wanted to develop more emotional and physical intimacy with. (i'm a physically affectionate person, and this is important to me. this was another reason that i was upset about identifying as aro - it felt like things like frequent hugs aside from brief squeezes with friends leaving events or something, cuddling, etc, most if not all types of physical intimacy were just. lost to me. which is also not the case! it's all about the specific boundaries and comfort levels in individual relationships, not the nature of those relationships. for instance, i have a very hard time sleeping lately because once i spent time sleeping in the same bed as my fiancee, i just. never want to go back to sleeping alone. and that's something i never thought i'd get to experience, but i have, and it's wonderful.)

returning to the point, these attempts at dating did Not Work. as soon as it became about dating, about romance or attempting to enter a romantic relationship, my entire Self revolted at the idea. i felt physically nauseated even just thinking about the person i was trying to date, and in one notable case with a very sweet boy in my high school freshman class when i was 14/15, we went on a few dates and do a dance together, and then the bad feelings and panic and revulsion built up in me until i sent him a frantic text essentially going I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE LEAVE ME ALONE and avoided him at school to such an extent that if i saw him in the hall i'd walk the other way. i did Not handle that well, as we can see. he was a good, lovely person, and he didn't deserve that. i actually looked him up on facebook a few years later and sent a message explaining and apologizing, and he was very sweet about it, no hard feelings, and we wished each other well.

so yeah, turned out i was aromantic, and accepting that was a huge step into no longer trying to force myself into things i didn't want and never wanted, with anyone, ever. (this goes for asexual too, since you mentioned aro and ace, which again is a like. Accurate Term for me but not one i use actively a lot anymore.)

additionally, the older i got the more annoyed and repulsed i felt by romance in fiction. fandom was a huge part of my life in my teens (and now!) and fictional narratives have always been monumentally important to me. they're how i've communicated my feelings and experiences, understood myself and others, and found meaning - and also just something i found very fun. fiction and fandom in particular also have increasingly drove me out of my fucking mind with the extreme, overwhelming emphasis on romance often to the exclusion and degradation of all else. it started out confusing and irritating me, and got to the point of being actively triggering for me. i joke sometimes that recently i've become more romance repulsed by the day, but it's true.

also, and i know this is a common one for people who are ace or aro or both - one of the bigger barriers to my choosing to identify as aromantic (and asexual, when that was relevant), outside of internalized arophobia and my fears associated with it, was the question of 'well, how do i know for sure.' it's hard to prove a negative, you know? what if i was wrong? what if i just hadn't met the right person yet? what if it changed? and it took me a while to reach this point but where i'm at now is like. well, maybe! so what if i am wrong? so what if i do meet someone later in life that i end up attracted to? that doesn't make anything about my current life wrong or untrue, and it's no guarantee. the identity label of aromantic has brought me more comfort and understanding and joy in who i am and where i fit in the world than i can express. so i'm going to identify this way, loudly and proudly, and if that changes later on, which it might but i frankly doubt it, i will never regret the time i've spent as aromantic and in the aromantic community.

this was a particularly helpful post when i was sorting things out at first. i don't know if there's anything useful to you on there, but it was a help to me.

i guess mainly it's just. that's how i sorted through things, i suppose, and as for you - how do you feel? what do you want? if you don't want to engage in sex or romance, you don't have to. period. ever. you have the automatic right to a permanent and unquestioned disengagement with sexual or romantic relationships if you do not want to have one. and if you panic when you try to engage in that sort of relationship, then maybe that's something you should listen to! i know that it was for me, it was a very clear message that i Did Not Want to do what i was trying to make myself do because i thought i had to do it. if you don't want that, you don't have to engage in it. period. ever. and there's nothing wrong with you if you don't want to or choose not to, either.

#gav gab #gav answers #aro blogging #and talking about asexuality i suppose but i don't have a tag for that #anyways. for real. if you ever wanna chat #you or anyone else #my door is always wide wide open

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web-novel-polls · 9 months

Text

Aroace-spec Character Winners' Tournament

[Please vote for who you believe is the most aroace-spec character, not the most popular. It will never be acceptable to post "anti-propaganda" in this tournament or invalidate a suggested identity because "they're not aroace enough." You will be blocked unless it's clearly a genuine mistake / misphrasing.]

Propaganda underneath the cut

Shen Qingqiu from The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Submission 1: Gay Asexual

Submission 2:

Mod Propaganda

Was completely okay with not marrying anyone (because all the women in the world “belong to the protagonist”)

So fucking weird about sex. He has to mentally contort his brain seven ways to Sunday to even IMAGINE fucking someone (earning him the title of “most homophobic gay person”)

“He’s not gay, Binghe is”

Reads bad erotica and then complains about the plot inconsistencies

Accidentally wife beams/romances pretty much every single character he meets

Wenren È from Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know

Submission: Asexual demiromantic

Resubmitting him because I have now read the book. And oh boy. He is not allo. He spends the whole book being confused about love and romance, and why that, specifically, would be such a huge motivator for people. He has no interest in it besides how it affects someone else and causes them problems. He falls in love by the end but he still doesn't understand how love works for other people at all

Mod Propaganda

“Wenren È cultivated the Path of Slaughter, and when he saw a beautiful woman, his first thought would be what kind of difference there was to fight a woman versus a man.” - Ch.6

The beginning part of the story is just him trying to understand what romance is and why a novel is saying he was in love with Baili Qingmiao.

Interprets “love is always seeing the other person” as “I should force Baili Qingmiao to be able to physically see this boy at all times”

He eventually becomes stupidly in love with Yin Hanjiang, but it’s a Journey. He clearly does not experience/understand romantic and sexual attraction until then (and even then I’m not sure lol)

#shen qingqiu #svsss #wenren è #devil venerable also wants to know #dvawtk #aroace spec character tournament #aroace spec winners quarterfinals #polls #queue

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