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#anyway catch me crying when they sing the song they wrote together
homemade-ghosts · 9 months
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"I just thought maybe we could write this [song] together."
In season 1, Ricky can't/isn't ready to express how he feels about Nini in his own words, so he uses her's instead (by singing her song, "I Think I Kinda Ya Know", back to her during auditions). It's not very well-received, at least not by Nini (Gina's eyes light up when she hears Ricky sing for the first time). Partially because Nini has a new boyfriend and she doesn't appreciate Ricky effectively forcing his way back into her life by trying out for the musical...but mostly because he still can't say "I love you" to her, even if it's in a song (that he didn't even write). Later, Ricky wrote "Just for a Moment" for Nini, but never actually sang it to her (at least not in their reality...and when he did sing an excerpt of it to Big Red, Red immediately thought it was about Gina).
Then, in season 2, he writes Nini yet another song (two, actually, but "The Perfect Gift" is so generic that I consider it more of a cute holiday song by Josh than a song Ricky wrote for Nini) — and again, he doesn't actually get to sing it to her. They're so bad at communicating with one another that they spend the entirety of that day (Valentine's Day) trying to meet up, but never being able to. They can't even get the timing of a simple phone call right (a call that was Gina's idea, by the way) so Ricky has to sing "Even When" to Nini's voicemail (and vice versa).
Later on in season 2, Ricky & Nini were tasked (by Miss Jenn) with writing an original song for Beauty & The Beast together and they couldn't do it. Nini, instead, wrote the song on her own — a song that ended up being about how she feels, understandably, idolized and suffocated by her relationship with Ricky...which she told Kourtney not to tell Ricky about and then told Ricky, to his face, that the song wasn't about him.
Ricky writes Nini another song ("Let You Go") after they break up (or at least he finishes it post-breakup) that he claims was written for Nini, as a goodbye or some kind of "Hail Mary", but he never sings it to her...because it wasn't so much about her as it was about him grieving the childhood relationship they had and coming to terms with the fact that ending it was the right choice for both of them.
My point being, Ricky has always written songs for someone else (or claimed they were for someone else), but never with them (technically, there's that throw away line in s2 where Carlos mentions that Ricky wrote some of the lyrics in "In A Heartbeat", the song for Seb, but I'm talking romantic relationships here). He couldn't write a song with Nini because they were never on the same page, they couldn't communicate with or understand each other personally, so they couldn't collaborate musically (& even the songs he wrote for her rarely went the way he wanted them to).
Which is why it speaks volumes when Ricky says he wants to write a song with Gina. Finally, he's in a relationship with someone that's built on true friendship, mutual support and understanding (& vice versa for Gina, too), someone that he can communicate and collaborate with. With Nini, it was always about pushing his feelings onto her, but now he doesn't just want to sing a song to Gina about just his feelings (though he'll do that, too) he wants to listen to her, to know how she feels. He wants to work together to create something that they can share, that's not just his or just her's, but uniquely their's.
In season 2, when Nini flees after Ricky tries to talk to her about the song she wrote ("The Rose Song") she says something like, "It's just a song, Ricky." to which he responds, "A song can mean everything."
He was right, a song can mean everything.
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ghoulish-fiction · 2 years
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hey! uh, about the dirty drabbles/headcanon req... may I propose the idea of nsfw swiss x rain? swiss is a switch but mostly played the role as a dom, while rain is an unexpectedly kinky power bottom.
thank you! anyway you can ignore this if you think it's way too much effort to do this req :)
I wasn't sure what to write for this specific idea because its not exactly how I see them, so I wrote down a bunch of my Rain/Swiss headcanons instead. I hope you still like it! I'm quite pleased. I love Rain and Swiss together and I liked actually writing down all these ideas instead of just letting them rattle around in my brain. Makes me want to write some actual stories about them.
Anyway! Headcanons under the cut. ❤💙SFW💙❤ first and 🔥NSFW🔥 after.
❤💙SFW💙❤
Their relationship is open but they are each other's anchor and they couldn't dream of being without each other. Very much in love.
Out of respect for Rain's privacy Swiss keeps most aspects of their relationship between them. However, Swiss loves to brag on Rain any chance he gets. He loves talking about how kind and sweet and handsome and talented his mate is.
The two are cuddle bugs. They're always wrapped up around each other. When hanging out with friends, Rain will often sit in Swiss's lap. He makes the excuse that he does it so there's one more seat on the couch or one more open chair, but they just like to be close to each other.
Rain could listen to Swiss sing forever. He loves waking up to the sound of Swiss singing in the shower and the smell of fresh coffee brewing.
Catch these two making out like horny teenagers. They are often happy to just kiss and touch and get hot and bothered together without it leading to anything more.
Rain can be shy about anybody seeing him without his mask, but he always feels comfortable taking his true form in front of Swiss in their home.
When Swiss is feeling, down Rain puts on their favorite slow songs and they dance together. It usually cheers Swiss up, but sometimes he just hides his face in Rain's shoulder and has a good cry while Rain holds him.
They are always giving eachother little trinkets and gifts. Rain gave Swiss one of his favorite guitar picks. Swiss saw a pretty flower while they were out walking and tucked it behind Rain's ear. Rain wrote a quick little goodmorning note for Swiss, and Swiss carried it in his pocket for weeks until he accidently washed it. While out shopping Swiss saw a small sun catcher that looked like a grey cloud with dangling blue Rain drops, so he bought it and gave it to Rain to hang in their bedroom window.
🔥NSFW🔥
Rain and Swiss get along beautifully, but they are ghouls and tempers can run high so they do fight on occasion. Their fights often lead to angry sex where they fight for dominance the entire time. They end up wrapped around each other apologizing for whatever started the fight in the first place and kissing all the marks they left on eachother.
Both men are switches and regularly swap places in the bedroom. When Swiss doms he is a bit more of a gentle, pleasure dom. He wants to make Rainy feel good and get off while he does it. Sometimes Swiss drives Rain crazy by teasing and edging him for hours, but it is worth it. When Rain doms he is rough. Very rough. He wants to leave his mark on every inch of Swiss's body, but especially his neck. Swiss loves the release of just giving everything over to Rain, because, for the most part, he gets to just sit back and enjoy the pleasure and pain.
Not every sexual encounter between them is a dom/sub sort of thing. Like anyone they usually just want to fuck and have fun. It's also common for them to have very lovey, pretty vanilla sex full of soft praise and love confessions and laughter and kisses. 
Rain's favorite position is cowgirl, riding Swiss  slow and deep with his tail around Swiss's throat. Swiss's favorite is missionary. He wants to roll those hips nice and easy into Rain, bottoming out again and again while he strokes Rain's cock.
Swiss will have sex on the tour bus. Rain will not, its too embarrassing for him to only be inches away from other people while they have sex, unless its a group thing. One time Swiss was feeling extremely horny but he didn't want to ask Rain for sex because he refuses to push his mate's boundaries, so he decided to just masturbate there next to Rain while he was sleeping but Rain woke up and was like "What are you doing?!" This woke the others up and left Rain mortified. Swiss didn't care. This incident started some somnophilia rumors that had Rain absolutely dying.
Rain is also seeing Mountain and will sometimes sleep with literally every other band mate. Swiss isn't partnered with anyone else but will sleep with Cirrus and Cumulus fairly regularly. He will on a very rare occasions sleep with other band mates, but if he does Rain is usually involved. Swiss also sleeps with a handful of Siblings of Sin.
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stiltonbasket · 3 years
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Stilton, I was the anon who said that Wangxian getting together before Nightless City would make canon events extra heartbreaking and now I know just how 💔💔💔💔 the Qiongqi Dao ambush became 😭. For a less angsty prompt, something from Wangxian's happy year at the Burial Mounds with A-Yuan
(brief note: this verse is entirely prompt-based, so please send in more prompts/reblog for more updates!)
Cloud Recesses, Gusu Lan to Yiling City
(care of Master Xie Yanling, addressed to Lan Wangji)
Didi,
   To address the problem you mentioned in your last letter, I think Wei-gongzi might have better luck with a Lan-made spirit-trapping pouch to cleanse your crops of resentment. Such mild resentful energy may not respond to Cleansing, and he mentioned that larger spirits keep answering whenever he uses Chenqing, so I think your only solution may be to pick out the resentment piece by piece. However, I know nothing about resentful cultivation, so you need not feel obliged to try it if Wei-gongzi does not agree, but I have enclosed a package of spirit-trapping pouches just in case. If you have no use for them, they can always be sold, or you can save them for night-hunts in the future.
  Please inform Young Master Wei that a delivery of twelve white-jade figurines will be coming with the next trader, and he will recommend a jeweler in the next town whom you can sell them to. I regret to say that we still do not have enough silver to spare, but I have nearly half of my future bridewealth left, and there is no better use for it than to aid my brother and my future brother-in-law. Write to me at once if you need anything, and give my best to Xiao-Yuan!
  All my love,
     Xichen.
Lan Wangji finishes his brother’s letter with a soft smile on his face, taking out the silk spirit-trapping pouches to show to A-Yuan before putting them back into their box. He has not been back to the Cloud Recesses in over six months, though he warned no one of his departure before he left; he came to see Wei Ying and bring him news of his sister’s engagement, and then he ended up staying the night before Wei Ying asked him to live at his side, and be with him always.
It was never a choice, in the end. Lan Wangji would have chosen Wei Ying over his own fated zhiyin, even before his soulmate died on that horrible day in Heijian, so choosing Wei Ying over his sect and his family takes only a split second.
Together, the two of them have transformed the Burial Mounds into a home. Lan Wangji is no stranger to hard labor, and Wei Ying’s stubborn resolve could outstrip Shufu’s even at its weakest, so they went to work together and wrangled the resentment-ridden forest into a line of neat potato fields, chopping down the trees for firewood and long sections of log for houses. Not long after that, the Wens were all able to go to their own warm homes every night, and dine on large bowlfuls of rice and potatoes and turnips every day.
And what the Burial Mounds could not provide, they have ample money to pay for--because Lan Wangji sold his silver hairpiece in the village, and turned out all his emergency funds so that A-Yuan could keep his little stomach full of all the rich beef and vegetable stew a baby of two could want. During his last monthly check-up, Wen Qing was so pleased with his progress that she actually praised Wei Ying for it, and Wei Ying himself is growing strong and golden-skinned in the fields, so that he can wrestle with Lan Wangji in the evenings for A-Yuan’s entertainment and push the market wagon alone instead of relying on Wen Ning.
I am happier here than I ever was in the Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji thinks, blushing like one of Sishu’s ripe tomatoes as Wei Ying breezes by with a shovel and kisses the top of his head. You have given me the world, my heart, and you said you had nothing to give!
“Oh?” Wei Ying teases, making Lan Wangji blush even harder at the realization that he said that last aloud. “When did I say I had nothing to give, hmm? Who was it that combed your hair and cooked spicy porridge for you last night?”
“It was you, my heart,” Lan Wangji acknowledges, folding his brother’s letter back into its envelope. “And if I were not a cultivator, I would have spent the morning having runs in the latrine.”
Wei Wuxian throws his head back and laughs. “But Lan Zhan, A-Yuan ate it too! And he was fine, wasn’t he?”
“I ate his share for him.”
Wei Ying pouts at this, and continues to pout until Lan Wangji kisses him a few times to make him smile. “What did Zewu-jun say?” he wonders, trying to catch his breath when Lan Wangji pulls away for a moment. “Is he well? What about Lan-xiansheng?”
“They must both be doing well, or Xiongzhang would have told me,” Lan Wangji assures him. “But he suggested the use of spirit-pouches to make the lotus seeds safe to eat. Shall we try it tomorrow?”
“Aiyah, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it!” Wei Ying cries, striking his fist with his palm. “We can’t get the traces of resentment in the crops to listen without holding everything else back, so we’ll have to clear the plots one at a time.”
Suddenly, he frowns and glances at Lan Wangji’s belt. “I don’t know if one pouch will be enough, though,” he mutters. “How old is yours, xingan? They have a ten-year lifetime, don’t they?”
“Three years, I think. But Brother sent a box of new ones, so we should have plenty to experiment with.”
“A-Yuan wants!” their son complains, plucking at Lan Wangji’s long skirts before reaching up for Wei Ying in a silent plea to be carried. “Give pouch, please?”
“You can have a pouch when you’re older,” Wei Ying tells him. “For now, A-Yuan should listen to Xian-gege and go take a nap. It’s too hot for little radishes to be out without a hat.”
Wen Yuan sulks all the way to the Demon-slaughtering cave, and then through the lullaby that Wei Ying hums to him, but he falls asleep without a fuss just as Lan Wangji gets up and puts away his qin.
“Lan Zhan?” his beloved asks, drawing a light blanket over A-Yuan’s shoulders. “Can I ask you something?”
“Hm?”
“You wrote A-Yuan’s lullaby, didn’t you?” Wei Ying is watching him through half-lidded eyes, whirling his dizi between his fingers, and Lan Wangji freezes in shame at the implication. “It’s a love song.”
It takes all the strength in his body to nod and keep fastening Wangji back into its case as if nothing were the matter. “En.”
“It’s a love song for me.”
His voice is rougher now, he thinks.
“Yes.”
“You sang it to me in the Xuanwu’s cave,” Wei Ying murmurs. “It was mine back then, too. But Lan Zhan, your soulmate--before the war, she must have still been--”
“My zhiyin was alive then,” Lan Wangji says heavily. “And I mourn them still. But the song was named Wangxian from the moment of its birth, and I wrote it not long after you left the Cloud Recesses. My betrayal will forever be the greatest shame of my life, but I chose you even then, and I do not regret it.”
Wei Ying begins to tremble. “What would you have done if you had the chance to meet her?”
“Loved you anyway,” he whispers. “What could I have done, if not that?”
It was you from the beginning, he wants to say. Wei Ying, it’s always been you.
It was Wei Ying when he tried to force his way past Lan Wangji at the gates of the Cloud Recesses, and Wei Ying when he put a volume of longyang into a book of Lan An’s poetry, and Wei Ying even when Lan Wangji’s soulbond was singing with his zhiyin’s happiness. For no matter how wrong it might have been, and how uncouth, and how much of a betrayal, Lan Wangji has never wanted another; and if he ever met his soulmate, he would never have been able to love her as he loves his chosen beloved.
Suddenly, he realizes that Wei Ying is crying, and then he buries his face in Lan Wangji’s neck and sobs.
“I thought it was only me,” he gasps. “All this time, I’ve been in mourning--but wearing this sash feels like a lie when I’m with you, and I didn’t dare take it off, but--”
“Then take it off,” Lan Wangji urges, with his own eyes full of tears. “None here will judge you, Wei Ying, least of all me!”
And then Wei Ying kisses him for what feels like hours, until the sun is low in the sky and Wen Ning comes calling after them for dinner--and then Lan Wangji takes Wei Ying in his arms and kisses him in return, for they are wholly each other’s now, and Lan Wangji will never leave him again until the end of their days.
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Goodbye For Now
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Request: Don't worry about falling asleep!! Sleep is necessary, girl! Anyway my idea was: what if Y/N and Luke (or Reggie, whoever you wanna write about) dated and were best friends back in the 90s when Sunset Curve died. And Y/N stays in contact with the family of their love interest for all those years. And Y/N is shocked when she sees their love interest in the band with Julie again, they can't believe their eyes! Anyway, you don't have to write this, but it popped up in my head and I love your writing❤
Word Count: 3.6K
~Master~
A/N: I hope I did this justice! Thank you so much for requesting it and letting me give it a go. Please please please let me know what you think!
***
1995
“Give me a kiss.” Luke mumbled against your lips as you smiled and pulled away slightly, enough to see his eyes as he opened them wide, giving you his beautiful puppy dog eyes. “Please?”
You giggled, feeling his hand thread with yours as you sat on his lap. “Only because you so asked so politely.” You whispered to him before meeting his lips briefly, pulling away at the sound of someone clearing their throat. You pulled away, looking behind you at Alex, Bobby, and Reggie watching you. “Rehearsal?” Bobby asked as you nodded, about to get up before Alex put his hand out.
“But look at them.” He started, smiling at you and your boyfriend. “They’re adorable. Just give them a moment.” You smiled at Alex, silently thanking him before you turned back to Luke. Luke’s smile was just as wide and you started to lean in to kiss him, only to hear Alex speak. “Moment’s up!” The drummer yelled as you groaned, letting your head fall on Luke’s shoulder instead. He chuckled underneath you and you smiled at the smile, giving his hand a squeeze. Getting up off his lap, you stretched a hand out to help Luke up, but as you were doing so, the boy moved quickly, placing a gentle kiss on your lips before moving past you to his guitar.
You shook your head lovingly and fell back into the spot Luke was sitting at, feeling his eyes on you until you met his. He winked at you and started playing with the rest of the band joining in as you sat back and enjoyed the music.
2020
“Mom, have you seen my backpack?” You heard shouted from somewhere in your house as you pulled the toast out of the toaster, tossing the slices on two plates.
“Have you looked under your bed?” There was a pause after your answer before a thank you was shouted back and you shook your head fondly. A few bouncing steps on from the stairs caused you to turn around, just in time to see your daughter sit down on the other side of the counter. You slid her breakfast to her along with a glass of orange juice and joined her. “Eat up, you’re gonna be late to school.”
As soon as the words crossed your mouth, you heard the bus outside, your daughter frozen in place as you looked at her with a raised brow. “Oopsies?” She said, pretending to be innocent, although you knew better.
“Emily! What did I say about missing the bus?”
“That next time I’d have to walk?” She knew that was the answer, she just didn’t like it. You nodded, trying to enforce your rules but when Emily looked at you, you knew you were going to crack. “But there’s an assembly today! I can’t be late.”
You stayed strong for a minute before giving in. “I’ll get my keys.” You mumbled and stood up. Emily cheered, thanking you and saying she loved you before you pointed at her. “You finish eating. The last thing I need to hear is you harping about stopping for food.” She nodded swiftly and bit into her toast, making a noise to show you how good it was as you chuckled at her and moved to get ready.
Once Emily was at school, you went for a drive, taking your time until you pulled up to a house not far from your own. Giving yourself a minute to breathe, you played with the guitar pick that hung low off your neck. It was Luke’s. Something you managed to find in your room almost a year after your best friends died. 25 years later and you kept it, a reminder of what it felt like to be loved unconditionally. Sure, you moved on, even married and had Emily, but that only ended in divorce and you receiving full custody of your daughter. You kept afloat, relying on other’s support as you worked through life.
The car door slammed behind you when you got out and walked up to the little old house in front of you. After knocking, you waited, hearing a sweet voice tell you she’s coming before the door opened wide.
“Hi Mrs. Patterson.” You smiled, seeing her mirror your emotions.
“Y/N dear, how are you? Come inside!” She beckoned and you listened pushing past her. “And how many times have I told you to call me-“
“Emily.” You laughed as you said her name at the same time, seeing her grin wide as she pulled you in for a hug. You reciprocated, hugging Luke’s mother tightly before pulling away. “And I’m great, thank you for asking.”
“And your little one? How’s Emily doing?” Your face softened at the mention of your daughter, aptly named Emily after her of course, the woman who you’d grown closer too since the death of her son. Your main source of support for longer than you deserved.
“She’s doing just fine. Almost late to school today, but then again, you know how normal that is for her.” Emily laughed at your exasperated face, putting a hand on your arm.
“Well, she does take after her mother.” She told you, reminding you of when Luke and you were younger and you’d always show up almost an hour after the time you’d agreed upon. Luke often had to lie about the times just to get you places on time. Emily and you spent the next few hours catching up, it had been a few weeks since you’d stopped by.
Your smile turned sad as you caught a glance at a picture of Luke on the table next to the couch and your thoughts drifted to him again. It might’ve been 25 years, but Luke and you grew up together. Every memory you had of your childhood was with Luke by your side. “I miss him, too.” Emily whispered, catching the distant look on your face. You looked up at her, seeing her wipe away a tear on her face. “Sometimes, I think about what his life would’ve been like if he hadn’t-“ She stopped herself, swallowing quickly as you grabbed her hand to comfort her. She thanked you silently and kept on with her thoughts. “You and him surely would’ve gotten married. Emily would’ve been his and I’d have a granddaughter.” Her words were whispers as your eyes watered up, letting yourself get lost momentarily in your head.
What a dream that would’ve been.
“Well, look at the time.” Emily said, bringing you out of your thoughts as you glanced to the clock on the wall, surprised to see it was almost time to pick your daughter up for school. You quickly wiped your tears, laughing at yourself for letting yourself cry in front of Emily. She didn’t mind, having been crying as well. You said your goodbyes to her, sharing more hugs before you were off.
Emily was bouncing on her heels as you arrived at school, talking with her best friend when you pulled up. “Hey Em!” You shouted out the window to get her attention. She looked at you, saying goodbye before getting into the car.
“How was school?” You asked, trying to get a conversation going but she wasn’t focused on you, instead on her phone.
“It was fine.”
You raised a brow, looking at her out of the corner of your eye. “Fine?” you asked, seeing her nod. You didn’t ask more, letting her continue texting whoever it was she was texting. She even started humming under her breath. You found the tune familiar, but you couldn’t place it. You shook it off, focusing back on the road until she started singing.
“And rise through the night, you and I, we will fight to shine together, bright forever” You stopped the car immediately, hands gripping the wheel tightly as Emily grabbed her seatbelt, glancing back and making sure there were no cars behind you guys as she looked at you. “Mom, what are you doing?” she asked quickly, grabbing onto your arm. You stared right out of the front window.
That couldn’t have been possible. She couldn’t have been singing- “Where’d you learn that song?” you tried to ask calmly.
Emily just furrowed her brows. “What? What are you-“
“The song, Em.” You looked at her, seeing confusion written on her face.
“Some girl, um Julie Molina, sang it at school today with her band.” She said, not at all knowing what you were getting at. “Why?”
“No reason.” You mumbled, looking back at the road. Emily glanced to you when you didn’t drive, not until a car appeared behind you and you remembered. You didn’t know what to think. Only a few people knew that song. The song that Luke and you wrote together. It wasn’t even recorded, your friends died before it could’ve been. You were silent the rest of the ride back, even staying in the car as Emily got out, asking if you were coming but you told her to go ahead inside. She questioned it, but didn’t press you much.
You knew Julie Molina. She was friend’s with Bobby’s daughter when they were younger. Bobby and you kept in touch for years after everything. Until he changed his name to Trever Wilson and stole Luke’s songs. That was when the two of you fell out of touch, when he wouldn’t listen to you about how horrible of a person he’d become, letting the fame go to his head.
You pulled out of your driveway, driving down the streets much faster than you’d like before arriving at the Molina residence. Heart racing, you slowly made your way up to the house. You needed answers.
“Hello?” Julie’s father, Ray asked as the door opened.
“Hi.” You said, not having anything to say planned. “Um, I’m sorry is your daughter home?” You asked him, seeing his brows furrow at the obvious weirdness of a middle-aged woman asking for his daughter.
“She might be. May I ask how you know her?”
You chuckled slightly, not knowing how to answer. “My name’s Y/N Y/L/N. I have a daughter who goes to her school and told me about her playing today. I was hoping to ask her a few questions?”
Ray paused for a minute before glancing up the stairs. “Hey Julie!” He shouted. “Someone’s at the door for you!”
You smiled, thanking him as Julie’s footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. She stood in front of you, not recognizing you as Ray left you both. “Can I help you?”
“Hi, this might sound a little weird, but my name’s Y/N and I have a daughter who goes to your school, Emily. She saw your performance today at the assembly and when she got in the car, she started singing it.” Julie nodded, not quite understanding where you were going with this. “How did you know the song?”
Her mouth opened, trying to figure out what to say. “I’m sorry?” She said, putting on a smile.
You took a deep breath, playing with the guitar pick again. “The song you sang, it’s called Bright”
“I uh,” She began, glancing behind her briefly before stepping outside with you and closing the door. “How do you know the song?" Julie asked you, not understanding how you knew a song that Sunset Curve never got to record. A song that Luke had just given her yesterday.
“I wrote it 25 years ago.”
That took Julie for a shock. She just stared at you, not knowing what to say. “Will you excuse me?” She said quickly before rushing past you. You watched her leave, racing the garage before you realized something important.
It was the studio. The band’s old studio. You smacked yourself for not realizing sooner and followed after her. Your heart skipped a beat as you pulled open the door, stepping inside after almost 25 years.
“She said she wrote it!” you heard Julie yell as your eyes found her immediately.
“That’s impossible! I wrote it!”
Your eyes watered at the sight. There, right in front of you, was your boys, the best friends you ever had and the certain one you fell in love with. “Luke?” You gasped out, seeing four heads turn your way. His eyes found yours and you knew he didn’t recognize you, but you didn’t care. “How are you-“ your words died on your tongue as your eyes started watering, your throat closing to keep your emotions at bay.
Luke just stared at you, firstly shocked that you could see him, but then it hit him. “Y/N.”
Everyone stayed quiet, including Julie who was left in the dark completely. He took a step towards you, his eyes watering as well before you were both rushing to each other. Luke caught you in his arms, holding you like his life depended on it and you did as well.
With that thought you pulled back and looked at him. “How are you here? How are you… You look….” You were tripping over your words, too many thoughts running through your head that you tried to push out. “I thought you died.”
“I did.” He said, bringing a hand up to wipe your tears away, but it didn’t matter as more fell. Luke, however caught up in the moment, paused and looked at his hand, dragging it across your cheek again and again and again before looking into your eyes. “I can touch you.” He whispered.
You furrowed your brows, grabbing his hand and holding it tight. “What?”
“I can touch you.” He repeated, looking back at Alex, Reggie, and Julie. You followed suit, seeing them all confused. Reggie stepped forwards slowly, reaching a hand out to you and you slowly tried to take it, but your hand went right through his as you gasped and stepped back.
You started to put it together. They looked 17 again, people can’t normally see them, your hands went right through them- well, through Reggie, and lastly, they died. “You’re ghosts.” Luke nodded, reaching for your hand again but you pulled it away. “I’m dreaming.” You concluded. “I must be.” You were starting to spiral, beginning to pace back and forth before stopping and turning to the four of them. “I should- I have to go.” You stammered out and headed out the door, ignoring Luke calling out your name.
“Luke.” Reggie said, getting his friend’s attention. Luke turned around with tears in his eyes but he was walking backwards to the door.
“I have to follow her.” He told them and immediately Reggie and Alex nodded, ushering him to go after you.
Julie stood there confused. “What just happened? Who was that?” She asked, looking to Alex and Reggie for answers as Luke left the Studio.
Reggie and Alex shared a glance, trying to decide who should tell her. Alex took one for the team. “That was Y/N.” He begun, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Luke and Y/N, back when we were alive, they were… you know-“
“In love.” Reggie interrupted, receiving a nod from Alex. Julie’s mouth dropped open.
“Wow.” She muttered, remembering the look on your face when you saw him again. “I didn’t know Luke had a girlfriend.”
“It was more than that.”
“Yeah,” Reggie went on. “They grew up together. Best friends.”
They kept answering her questions about you, finding this whole thing so bizarre, but the one thing they didn’t have answers for was how you touched Luke. They blamed it on your connection to him. It had always been so strong, of course it would’ve carried to the afterlife.
---
“Y/N!” Luke called after you as you headed to your car, refusing to look back until he put his hand on your shoulder. “Y/N, please.”
You stopped, letting your eyes close as you turned around to face him. “I can’t, Luke.” Your voice broke. “You died.”
“I know.” His voice wavered as you leaned against your car, crying again more. “But I’m here now.”
“Are you?” you looked at him as you let your tears fall freely, not bothering to hide them. “You’re a ghost, Luke. How is this possible?”
“We don’t know.” He admitted, refusing to look away from you. He moved closer to you, slowly testing the waters until he could hug you again. You collapsed against him, crying into his shoulder. Luke’s arms hugged you tightly, sure it was different than hugging the younger you, obviously you were taller and your figure had changed since, but it was still you.
“I don’t care.” You whispered. “I don’t care that you’re a ghost. I’m just-“ you paused, blinking away your tears as you pulled away. “I’m just really happy to see you again.”
“It’s been years for you, I guess.” He said, not sure how to address the fact you’re now 42.
You chuckled at him, feeling a little less like crying as you nodded. “25 years. It’s been 25 years.” You saw his eyes flicker to your hand as you brought it up to wipe your tears, and it took you a second to realize what he was looking for.
“I’m not married, Luke. Not anymore.” You told him, seeing the way he started getting embarrassed at you catching on.
“I’m sorry.” He said, not missing the second part of your statement.
You shook your head. “Don’t be. We didn’t work out. The only good thing about that marriage was having my-“ you stopped yourself. Luke’s mother’s words from earlier echoing in your brain. The dream you weren’t sure you should’ve thought about. Luke motioned for you to continue, not knowing what was happening in your head. You sighed, looking to the ground. “Having my… daughter.”
Luke just stared at you. Did he hear you right? You had a daughter? You, who he imagined always a future with, had a kid. “Wow.” He said, hiding the pain in his chest. “A daughter.” He cursed himself in his head. Of course, you had a daughter. It’s been years and he died. Of course, you moved on. He cleared his throat. “What’s her name?”
You smiled to yourself, finding he courage to look up at him again. “Emily.” You told him and immediately Luke gasped. “I named her after your mother.” Luke was taken back, not knowing what to say. His eyes darted between yours. “She misses you, Luke.” You told him, knowing how many times Emily and you had spoken about Luke, every time making you smile despite the pain in your heart. “We all do.”
“I missed you too.” He said quickly. The one thing he’d always missed now playing with the boys and Julie was your smile as he played, or your cheers afterwards, pretending you were a screaming fan in an audience. “I tried to find you, but I couldn’t.” He began to explain, and you understood. Times had changed, homes, names, people. You weren’t shocked he couldn’t find you.
You were about to speak before your phone rang, knocking you out of the bubble you and Luke created. You pulled out your phone, seeing a picture of Emily on your phone, smiling as you kissed her cheek. Luke looked down at the phone, seeing your daughter and he smiled. “She has your eyes.” He said, amazed by the similarity of you both.
“That’s not all of me she has.” You smiled. You didn’t want to say goodbye to him just yet, but Emily kept calling. “I have to go, she’s probably getting worried.” You whispered sadly.
Luke understood, nodding as he reached for your hand again. You let him take it, threading your fingers together as he wiped one last tear off your face. “It’s okay. I understand.” He assured you.
You held onto his hand tightly. “I don’t wanna say goodbye forever again.” You admitted, feeling guilty, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t lose him again.
“Then don’t.” You tilted your head, questioning him. “Don’t say goodbye forever. Not this time.” He smiled at you. “Right now, I’m not going anywhere. This is just goodbye for now.”
Your smile slowly grew and you dried your face. “Okay.” You whispered. “Goodbye for now.” You agreed moments before Luke pulled you into a last bone crushing hug that you reciprocated.
Luke pulled away, catching sight of the guitar pick on your neck as he smiled at it before his eyes met yours again. “Goodbye for now.” He repeated before letting go, slowly stepping back towards the garage as he watched you climb into your cars, but of you going your separate ways.
You were barely down the streets from the Molina’s before your phone rang again and Emily’s contact popped up. You quickly answered it, putting it on speaker. “Hey Emily.”
“Mom!” She shouted and you could hear the relief in her voice over the call. “I’ve called you 3 times, where were you?”
“I’m sorry honey, I was just…” you paused, trying to not say you were just seeing your deceased ex-boyfriend who died 25 years ago, “I was just visiting an old friend.”
There was a silence on the line before Emily spoke again. “Are you okay? You sound upset.” You took a second. Were you okay? Luke was back, he was really here. He was a ghost, but he was here. Things would never be the same again, but at least you could say goodbye for real. “Mom? Are you okay?” You let a smile creep on your face.
“Yeah, honey. I’m going to be fine.”
ALL TAGLISTS CLOSED!
Permanent: @literal-fand0m-trash @nathaliabakes @colored-confetti @btsiguess-kpop @galacticstxrdust @independentgirl @hollymac79 @emcchi @rauwz @chewymoustachio @smilexcaptainx @faith-quake @johnmurphyisqueer @kettnerjanea @teenagereadersciencenerd @ladykxxx08 @annasofiaearlobe @mytreec @ananad1 @agentnataliahofferson @the-unmanaged-mischief @wonderful-writer @theonly1outof-a-billion
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If Glee did a Taylor Swift Tribute Episode...
Just my opinions, feel free to add on to them. I know I have some fellow gleek swifties following me. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Obviously they have to do some of the hits but I think some people would have some out of the box picks.
*This post assumes all Taylor songs are available to choose from as of May 14th 2021 but focuses on Taylor’s first 6 albums (if you want more glee and Taylor I have fics with that; LOVER and FOLKLORE) and takes liberties with where this episode’s placement is in terms of canon. But since it’s all made up anyway who cares (but Blaine’s involved so I guess season 3 idk).*
Okay, trying to do a full plot here (completely inspired by @kurtdeservesbetter head canon posts. I hope this lives up to her fabulous posts). This will be my version of glee so everyone gets solos and Rachel can’t hog the spotlight. Also, this is about to be super long (both post wise and episode wise).
Let’s open the first episode with
...Ready For It because the New Directions are in their reputation era. Santana does the opening cough centerstage. Everyone in black and/or camo green outfits (can you just see Kurt in a dark green bedazzled snake jacket, Santana in a black leather dress, and Tina digging out some goth clothes for people to borrow?), snakes everywhere, but probably no Karyn (she just wouldn’t fit on the auditorium stage). Santana takes the first verse but we have Blaine step up for verse 2. (I just love their friendship in the Michael tribute, cute little badasses are BACK. Also him singing “Burton to this Taylor” is such a Klaine thing to do).
Everyone is still dressed in their rep outfits but we’re in the choir room now. Mr. Schue is talking about why Taylor had to disappear and clap back with rep, how rough the industry is for women and tries to uplift the ladies in the room and encourage them to not silence their voices (cue snarky comment from Santana about Rachel needing to be silent).
Then, Mr. Schue goes on about how you can only understand how Taylor got to her rep era by studying her earlier music. So we have a performance of Tim McGraw. Simple, front of the choir room performance, maybe Puck does guitar, and sitting on stools.
Everyone is surprised to find out how pumped Sam is for this assignment but he is all over it. “It's about time we did some country in this room.” Cue Sam and Quinn at her locker talking about their ‘date’ last night, Sam’s all cute and teasing and Quinn is not into it. She tells him it was fun but she was wrong, they shouldn’t do this again. In turn, he does a wonderful performance of Bye Bye Baby. He thought it was more but clearly he’s “a part of her past.”
Then, we’re in the empty choir room. Tina and Mike are there. (I love their cutesy duets) They sing Everything Has Changed and it’s utterly adorable. Can’t you hear Mike asking Tina if she’s “good to go” like Ed does? And while we’re on the subject of cute duets and RED, we flash to the courtyard to see Santana and Brittany. They turn Stay Stay Stay into a duet. “I’ve been loving you for quite some time,” “before you I only dated self-indulgent takers who took all their problems out on me,” “no one else is gonna love me when I’m mad, mad, mad,” and “it’s occurring to me that I’d like to hang out with you for my whole life” it’s perfect for them. Adorable ladies kisses are had.
Let’s toss in some boy drama for fun. Idk shit about football but somehow Puck is praised by their coach over Finn, which gets him all pissy, and Puck’s upset and jealous because Finn is back with Quinn now (this is why Quinn shut Sam now earlier, she changed her mind). Can we say duet of Bad Blood? “So if you’re coming my way...just don’t.”
After their dramatics, we have a Brittany solo in the choir room. It’s after school at this point (or whenever glee club is). Brittany does You’ll Always Find You Way Back Home.
When she finishes Mr. Schue tries to explain that it’s a Hannah Montana song. Britt injects that it’s confusing how she’s really Miley Cryus “like how can you be two people at once?”. Before Mr. Schue can continue, Kurt pipes up “you never specified that the songs had to be sung by Taylor Swift, just that they were her songs.” Mercedes adds, “yeah, Mr. Schue, Taylor wrote that song.” Mr. Schue concedes that he has once again been outwitted by Kurtcedes. The friends do their little hand shake thing.
With a sigh, Mr. Schue asks Mike if he’s ready to go and Mike asks to take things to the auditorium for some dancing room. Everyone’s on stage with him and it’s kind of a group number but Mike is the focus. It’s Shake It Off. All inspired by the music video. He’s tried to fit in elsewhere (i.e. football, with the smart kids, etc..) but he’s really himself in glee when he’s dancing.
Part 2 of Taylor Tribute Episodes
We begin with an ALL GIRL NUMBER of A Place In This World. Just because.
Glee is dismissed and we zoom in on Artie. He’s watching Tina with Mike and Brittany with Santana. Both Tina and Britt have broken his heart by this point. So, he’s rolling down the halls singing A Perfectly Good Heart. While Artie’s soloing, we cut to Rachel watching Finn and Quinn chatting. Artie’s song playing over this scene. Rachel is feeling similar to him at the moment.
She’s pretty sure Finn dumped her to be with Quinn again even though Kurt and Blaine told her they saw Quinn and Sam at the movies last night together making out in the back row. Fine, if that’s how he’s going to be, she doesn’t need him anyway. Cue Mr. Perfectly Fine. Uber dramatic solo performance walking around McKinley’s halls watching Finn and Quinn together ending in the auditorium alone. (see what I did there, both broken hearted peeps singing a song with Perfectly in it (this was not at all planned, actually, happy accident))
After some good old heartbreak, we have Kurt and Blaine on screen. Blaine walks into the auditorium to see Kurt sitting on the edge of the stage. “What’s all the fuss?” he asks from the door. Kurt had texted him “EMERGENCY.” The band starts to play and Kurt just starts singing, Enchanted. It’s time to profess their love for each other, just like they sing Perfect together in the car, this duet needs no audience. Blaine catches up and sings while walking towards his boyfriend. It’s very reminiscent of past New Directions competitions where they come in from the back and make their way to the stage. “Wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you?” Kurt and Blaine both know the answer to that question now but just a few months ago they were both wondering that exact thing.
They kiss before we cut to Kurt and Blaine walking hand in hand into the choir room where everyone else is already. Mr. Schue is praising the performances thus far and of course asks Rachel if she’s ready to solo (some practice for her completion solo). This causes an uproar from Mercedes and Santana. Another classic argument of how she gets too many solos. Mr. Schue tries to shut them both down but Santana tells Rachel to watch her back, and we get three very different reactions to this. 
All three girls storm out.
First, we visit Mercedes alone in the courtyard. This solo is all about being hurt over this great thing in her life (glee) and her being denied happiness within that club. Thus, Cold As You. (mostly to indulge myself because she’d blow us away with this song).
Next, Rachel in the auditorium. A huge bridge on stage (very Speak Now Tour of her), belting out Better Than Revenge. Santana’s dropped the last straw (the humiliation, name calling, Finn at one point and now solos,) it’s too much this time.
And finally, Santana walking around McKinley, showing us flashes of Rachel ‘outshining’ her and the rest of glee and Mr. Schue being unfair, while singing Look What You Made Me Do.
Tina walks out at the same time as Rachel, Mercedes, and Santana but no one seems to put two and two together. She feels just as underutilized as the latter two do. She ends up in an empty classroom and sings The Outside. “Nobody ever lets me in” and “on the outside looking in.”
Once the 3, err 4, divas have left the room, Finn sticks up for Rachel. Quinn, of course, has something to say about this along the lines of “you always defend her.” Finn, intimated by her ‘scary Quinn’ fumbles and blurts “because she’s my girlfriend” WHICH IS NOT TRUE AT THIS POINT. Quinn dumps him on the spot, cuts quickly to Blaine and Kurt sharing some ‘oh my god, can you believe this’ expressions, and vanishes from the room.
By this point, Rachel is long gone from the auditorium but the bridge is still there.
Here’s where we go way off script but imagine, Quinn has decided to just quit boys. They’ve all failed her anyway, she’s better off being alone. She walks up the bridge and thinks to herself “god Rachel’s so dramatic, where did this thing even come from” before it hits her “fuck, I’m as bad as Finn. I want her.” Then, she starts singing Clean to herself in the auditorium, likely tearing up throughout and ending with a good cry. (Because Dianna would DELIVER with Clean.)
While Quinn is having a sexuality crisis, the rest of glee is still happening. They’re discussing upcoming competition and debating solos and songs.
Kurt’s all: “Mr. Schue, if I may” and performs a lovely rendition of Call It What You Want. Those opening lines are too good. “My castle (ie McKinley) crumbled overnight, brought a knife to a gun fight (ie couldn’t fight off Dave Karofsky), “I’m doing better than I ever was ‘cause my baby’s fit like a daydream,” and “at least I did one thing right.” When he’s done, Blaine’s a mess in the back of the choir room, and Mr. Schue says: “not really what we’re looking for but very nice, Kurt” however, Kurt’s too busy sitting beside Blaine teasing him about blushing.  
Then, the missing girls return to the room having sung out their emotions. Quinn, having realized her feelings for Rachel, ends up soloing You Belong With Me to the New Directions in the choir room. Odd looks all around, no one knows what’s up with her and why does she keep glancing at Rachel? (Faberry just fit so well I had to add it, don’t know if I’m a shipper or not but it’s here now) (also thanks to @spicygemini for pointing out the obvious “Quinn would have ate YBWY”).
Mr. Schue wants to move the group to the audition to perform their final number of the Taylor Swift tribute well but Tina asks to sing first. He’s surprised but allows it, taking a seat with the rest of the New Directions.
Tina sings Beautiful Ghosts. “Watch from the dark, wait for my life to start” because New Directions is refusing to use her talents AGAIN. She’s singing this to Rachel and the girls who were in the Treble Tones. Because she absolutely SMASHES this number, the glee kids agree she gets solo for their next competition (and they deliver on that promise).
To conclude Part 2 of the Taylor tribute episode, we have a group performance of Long Live. “One day we will be remembered”, “all the years we stood there on the sidelines wishing for right now”, “for a moment a band of thrives in ripped up jeans got to rule the world” ie wining completions, “when they look at the pictures please tell them my name...”
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outofsstyles · 4 years
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i wish u would write a fic where reader is also a famous singer whos label sets up a collab with the two of them and they meet and write a love song and its a HIT and they PERFORM IT and realize they be SMITTEN with each other and the internet totally knew before they did and this is weirdly specific but it popped in my mind and i love your writing !!! okay bye 😎
Okay i’m actually embarrassed of how long it took me to write this but writer’s block hit me like a bunch of bricks this past month, still i’m so sorry!! But anyway here’s around 2.6k of famous!reader for you anon!! Hope you enjoy it!!
Also this is not really proofread cause i wrote it all in one sitting after a boost of inspiration so uh chile anyway so...
One could think that you’d have grown past the nervous set of butterflies that come by before stepping out on stage. They wouldn’t be entirely wrong, you like to think. Sure, there’s still an anxious feeling that bubbles up in the pit of your stomach like the drops of air in a sealed bottle of rosé (much like the one sitting inside a bucket propped on the center table of your dressing room). It’s normal, you tell yourself, part of the process, even. The clammy palms of your hand and the rapid thumping of your heart will soon be replaced by the thrill of stepping in front of a crowd of people, eyes wide, and voices loud. All waiting for you.
When Harry invited you to join him tonight, just for a song, there wasn’t a single ounce in your mind that thought of declining it. After all, you had spent months traveling around with him as his opening act of the American leg on his first tour. It’s not even the first time you’d share the stage with him, having joined him on a live cover of Eternal Flame at the very last date of the tour. His fans are also familiar with you, most of them seem to like you, even (and you don’t bother searching for the ones who don’t, much preferring to preserve your peace of mind). So there’s really not a reason for you to feel as if you’re about to throw up, is there?
Except this time is much different than all the previous ones you had to do this. No one out there is expecting you to step on stage. Much less for a song you’d thought you’d never sing it live.
It started as a forgotten draft you found in one of your old journals, and sometime between Chicago and Vancouver, after long nights and shared bottles of wine together, it turned into a duet. There wasn’t any intention of recording it initially, being born in hushed drunken confession at wee hours in the morning, and shared stories of heartbreak and yearning, you figured it would just stay between the two of you. It was a vulnerable song, after all, one in which both of you poured your heartaches in. 
But Harry loved the song. In fact, barely a month after the tour was wrapped up and everyone had tucked themselves back home to a well-deserved break, he invited you for dinner at his and, after one or two margaritas, you were standing on his home studio singing the words you’d written with him on quiet hotel rooms. And it didn’t take much convincing from his part for you to release it months later as part of your first studio album. Harry’s a charming man and he always finds a way to get what he wants. Not to mention the glimmer in his eyes and the set of dimples on his cheeks appearing as he heard the final cut were enough for you to convince you (not that you’d ever say this out loud).
So it’s not hard to understand why you agreed in a heartbeat to sing it with him on the opening night of his tour. 
Your leg is bouncing in a nervous tick, and you have to stop yourself from chewing on your bottom lip as to avoid another scolding from Amie who’s just applied a thin layer of lipstick over it. There’s a bundle of voices sweeping around the room, all much familiar to you, as they’re all part of your team. But you can’t help but zone out, pushing the noise to the back of your brain and letting it become faint background noise as you take in a deep breath to ease yourself down.
The concert has started around an hour ago, meaning you have just a few minutes before you have to head to the side of the stage, waiting for Harry to announce your name. He made sure to stop by your dressing room after soundcheck was done, greeting everyone from your team (they’ve all grown fond of him after the last tour, but then again, it’s hard not to) before making his way to you, a grin taking over his face as he approached, arms opening and not wasting a second before pulling you into an embrace. You smile to yourself, recalling his words from earlier.
“How are we feeling?” He pulled away, holding on to your shoulders and you can’t help but focus on the way his thumbs caressed you over the thin fabric of your shirt.
“Uhm like I could pass out at any second, but other than that I’m fine.” You let out a dry laugh as an attempt to mask the truth of your sentence behind humor.
“Nothing to be nervous about, love.” His hands squeezed you gently before dropping down and you chewed on your bottom lip at the warmth left from his touch. “S’just you and me and the guitar.” 
“And thirty thousand people.”
“You’ve played for bigger crowds.”
“I know, it’s just…” You sighed, gazing down at the champagne flute in your hands before shrugging. “Never sang something this personal, I guess.”
“Hey, it’s alright.” He moved a strand of your hair from your face, taking a small step forward as his voice droped down slightly so you’re the only one hearing his words.  “Know you’ll be brilliant, there’s nothing to worry about.”
“What if I cry?”
“Nothing wrong in crying, love.” He said in a beat, shaking his head softly. “I’ve shed a fair amount of tears on stage as well, just shows how much it means to you.”
Relaxing your shoulders you didn’t even realize were so tense, you exhaled. “You’re right.”
“I am.” He humored, dimples poking at his cheeks as he bumped his shoulder against yours. His expression softened, “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, okay?” He said truthfully, eyes flickering between yours to show you he meant it. “I don’t want you to do something you’re not comfortable with just for my sake.”
“Thanks, H.” You smiles. “But I’m fine, really, just nervous.”
His lips parted to answer you, but before he can do so someone shouted from the doorway, “H, you gotta go to hair and makeup.” 
“I’ll be right there.” He called over his shoulder, then turned his attention back to you. “I’ll see you on stage?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Hey,” he says as he started walking backward. “Just you and me alright?”
“Right.” You giggled watching him throw you a wink before turning around and stepping out of the room.
Downing the last bit of champagne on your glass, you rest it on the counter next to you before stepping up from your seat completely. A few pairs of eyes settle on you from the sudden movement, but they quickly turn back to their previous conversations as you don’t meet their gaze, only making your way o the full body mirror that makes the door leading to the bathroom. 
Your glittery eyelids call your attention first as you examine yourself, making you blink a few times just to see them shimmer. They match the two-piece that hugs your body in a lavender tone, the same one of the boost you slipped in just a couple minutes ago. You move your hips around softly, watching the way the skirt dances around your thighs and smoothing your hands on it to feel the soft fabric under your fingertips. You have time to adjust the top one last time before someone from production calls your name at the doorway, indicating it’s time to head out.
The whole way goes in a bit of a blur, you adjust your earpiece and try to smile at words of encouragement that are thrown your way as you walk towards the side of the stage where you’re supposed to make your entrance. Your heart thumps in your chest, almost loud enough to swallow the screams of the crowd that gets louder every step you take. Harry comes into view, along with the whole arena as you pass through a double door. His back is turned to you when you come to a stop but you can make out the guitar in his hands, his voice blending with the echo of thousands of others, screaming back at him the words he wrote. It’s Fine Line, one of your favorites from his sophomore album, and you can’t help but mouth along to it as the bridge comes up.
It helps to calm you a bit, the melody along with his voice setting the atmosphere of the whole place to a joyous state. It was clear at the glossy eyes you can catch in the crowd looking back at him, cheering as the song comes to an end, and Harry bows in gratitude and you watch as he steps back in front of the mic stand but doesn’t say anything. For a moment he just stays like that, you can’t catch his face from this angle, but you gaze up at the big screen and, just like you predicted, you can see the admiration on his expression as he takes in the crowd in front of him. You wish you could know his thoughts, but the smile that takes over his lips gives you everything you need to know, and you can’t help but let one tug on your face as well.
Before you know it, he leans into the microphone again, the screams quieting down as he starts speaking again. “I don’t think I’ll ever find enough words to thank you for your support, and sharing such special moments like this with me,” he begins, one hand moving to his chest as he pauses when the crowd roars again. “I love you all very much, and I thought maybe I could bring someone here that also holds a special place in my heart.”
You can feel every cell in your body freeze once you realize he’s talking about you, and it’s only when he turns around, eyes finding yours as he motions for you to walk in that you start moving. Keeping your gaze trained on his, you approach him, the hollering sound becoming almost faint in your ears as you focus solely on Harry. He pushes his guitar to the side so he can give you a quick hug before turning back to his mic.
“So, this lovely lady and I happen to have a song together.”
Your eyes scan the crowd for a moment, catching the awe in people’s faces before finding him again. Bringing your own mic to your lips you speak up, “We do, actually.”
“And we never sang it live before, is that right?”
“You’d be correct, yes.” 
“How do we feel about singing it tonight for the first time?” He asks more to the audience than to you, wanting to get a reaction, and as if on cue their screams take over the space at the mention of the song.
“I think they like the idea.” You smile, letting your eyes wander around the arena. Thanks to the bright spotlight set on you, you can’t make out most of their faces, but each one of them still makes themselves present, being with their flashlights turned on or their voices joining in with the others. A familiar electric spark shoots down your spine, the buzz making you forget all the previous nerves that were taking over your mind.
The sound of the strokes on the guitar strings bring your attention back to Harry, and when you look back at him, he’s already watching you, a smirk threatening to poke at his lips as he nods at you. It’s a silent gesture of reassurance, and you’re thankful for it, smiling back at him.
Once the intro is over he steps towards the stand again, his lips brushing the mic but his eyes still glued on you. It’s hard not to feel the chills rise on your skin at the sound of his voice. You’re close enough that if you focus, you can hear him under the reverberance of the loudspeakers. The realization makes your hand come up almost instinctively, removing one earplug so you can listen to him better. He smiles midword at you once he realizes what you’ve done, his eyes closing for a moment as he feels every word that comes out of his mouth.
Joining him for the chorus, you realize how astute he was when suggesting doing an acoustic version. The sound of your voices together slowed down by just the guitar background sounds even more intimate. It’s gentler. Softer. And you can’t help the step that you take towards him, feeling an urge to get closer. 
You don’t dare to break eye contact going into your solo, he moves back from his mic just a bit, giving you your moment and nodding along to the words. Unlike you had thought before, you don’t feel a knot forming on your throat or burning in your chest as you proclaim words of an old broken heart. Harry’s face is enough to keep you at ease, his irises seeming so green under the stage light that you can’t help the stuttering of your heart. 
He melts his voice on yours again, bringing you back to all the sleepless nights you spent together, singing the same words to one another. 
You’ve heard people say about being with someone that makes you feel like you’re the only people in a room, and it’s always made you roll your eyes at the cliche aspect of it. But standing here with Harry, on stage, eyes set on each other as you sing the words straight from your heart, you start to understand where those people were coming from. There are thousands of other eyes set on you, but his are the only ones calling your attention. Everything else seeming unimportant as you find yourself stuck in a trance with him.
The last chorus rolls around and you only register him moving once he’s right in front of you. His guitar is the only barrier between your bodies as he leans into your microphone, and you move it down so it stands under both your lips. He’s close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath on your cupid bow. You could touch him with the smallest of movements, and you want nothing more than to rest your forehead on his and meet his mouth with yours. But you hold back, closing your eyes as you’re afraid of what the effect of his own can do to you, letting the last words come out in a breath.
The roaring crowd reminds you of the people watching you, and almost as if you’re broken out of a spell, you take a small step back, turning to the audience to give them a wave. You feel Harry’s arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you against him. His lips press a single kiss on your hair as you thank everyone with a smile, still taken back by what just happened. 
Turning to Harry, you give him one last hug, this time lingering for a beat too long, enjoying the feeling of his arms pressing you closer to him. He pulls away first, announcing your name again, and you spare him another look before waving your way out, with shaky legs and a speeding heart.
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persephones-wren · 3 years
Text
Two Slow Dancers (Marius von Hagen x Reader)
Wrote this for a friend yesterday night, they’re on vacation and had a long night of driving, but I thought I’d post it here because why not :) I’m going to try and get into writing Tears of Themis, so feel free to request anything!
Warnings: none that I can think of
Genre: angst, slight fluff? (songfic, Two Slow Dancers by Mitski)
Word Count: 1159
It’s your last dance of the night, together, at his house, right before you both head out to university.
Does it smell like a school gymnasium in here?
You laugh at the opening line, but tears still blur your eyes as you look up at him, his one hand on your waist and the other interlocked with your hand. You both twirl slowly, and he can only watch helplessly as you wipe your tears away, before joining your hands together again.
It’s funny how they’re all the same
It’s funny how you always remember
And we’ve both done it all a hundred times before
It’s funny how I forgot
Funny how you had forgotten how painful loving and leaving was going to be.
He’s wealthy, you aren’t. He’s going to be leaving for Florence, and you’re going to stay in Stellis, hoping to be whatever you can make of yourself. He’s going to leave you for his business, for Pax, for the public eye, and you’re going to stay hidden in the shadows, just another high-school love long forgotten.
The song continues, and you can hear him singing quietly along to the song. You join in, and occasionally your voice breaks, but you manage to continue on with him. His eyes are piercing, and you don’t dare to see if he’s crying with you.
You don’t think your heart could take it.
It would be a hundred times easier
If we were young again
It would be easier to enjoy his presence when you were both younger, shared kisses under the moonlight, toys won at the arcade, but he’s leaving you, this is your last time together. If only you were young again. You’d cherish every little moment just a tiny bit more.
But as it is, and it is
We’re just two slow dancers, last ones out
We’re two slow dancers, last ones out
The song ends.
You’re both standing there, unsure what to say.
Your eyes are both wet. You’re both quiet. You both don’t want to leave.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“Me too. But it’s okay,” you whisper back.
It's not okay. You’re both not going to be okay. An unspoken I love you is shared, and a brief kiss.
It feels cold. It feels like goodbye.
It is goodbye.
���
Your heart may be shattering as you see him across the room.
It was a work party, a party to celebrate the five year anniversary of Themis Law Firm. You had only been working there around two years, but you didn’t know that he was going to attend. Why would he attend?
Your coworker, you realize, bashing yourself for not realizing sooner. Rosa Hua. She had helped defend him in a case. He’s here to celebrate her success.
You turn away and try to hide somewhere else, try to surround yourself with people to ignore the pounding in your heart. Does he know you’re here? Has he seen the guest list? Does he want to talk to you? Does he want nothing to do with you? He had the perfect opportunity with Rosa, and he hadn’t noticed you yet. You could slip away, find somewhere to calm your racing heart, find somewhere else to reflect on your relationship with Marius.
His eyes catch yours across the room, and you can see the same look of surprise before you’re turning and almost running in your heels to talk to Celestine, eagerly muttering some excuse about how you needed to go and that you felt sick. She gave you a questioning, but sympathetic look, and then you’re out the door and into the garden of the building.
The night is cold, and it helps clear your mind from whatever leftover feelings you still had for him. Your feet are aching from heels and you’re thinking of a way to approach him, but you're now worlds apart. He is Marius von Hagen of Pax. You are Y/N L/N of Themis Law Firm. There is no other reason for you to know each other, besides Rosa.
Perhaps a new introduction is needed. You’ve both changed. Maybe- you’re both different people now, too.
Footsteps from dress shoes click behind you, and you speak before you turn around to face your other boss.
“Mr. Wing, I’m sorry, I-”
“I’m not Artem.”
His voice. Oh god, it’s him. Of course he’d notice that you’d run out. Of course he would.
You’re frozen in place. You don’t want to turn around, don’t want to see him, don’t want to talk to him like your past never existed.
Still, you force yourself to pretend anyway.
You plaster a business smile to your face and look at him up and down. “Hi, I’m Y/N L/N from Themis Law Firm. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
“It is you,” he muttered to himself slowly. A smile breaks over his face. “How have you-”
“I don’t believe we’ve met.”
And the ground has been slowly pulling us back down
You see it on both our skin
We get a few years and then it wants us back
Together, now you’re both standing still, eyes on each other, once again unsure what to do. You both feel rooted in place. You want to take back what you said, you know him, but do you? Does he still know you? You’re feet away, yet millions of miles apart. His genuine smile falters, and then it’s a grin, back to the playboy style the magazines swooned over.
“Right. Sorry. I’m Marius von Hagen from Pax. I’d like to request that we have a dance. Just one.” Like we were in highschool, the words go unspoken, but you can hear them anyway.
“I don’t think I can do that,” you smile apologetically. You can’t handle your heart being broken again. You can’t be together. You can’t do this.
“Please?”
You can’t refuse.
“Just one.”
It would be a hundred times easier
If we were young again
But as it is
And it is
His hands easily find your waist and your other hand, just as they used to. There’s no music, but again, he’s humming softly again, the moon hanging over both of you. You’re spinning and twirling quietly, and now you’re both humming, small, solemn smiles painting your faces.
“Do you remember this song?” he asks, as he dips you down. “Yeah, I do,” you answer quietly.
“It feels like worlds ago.”
It’s nostalgic, and the memory of your last dance still resurfaces painfully, but there’s something new about the way he’s dancing with you. It’s not goodbye anymore. Is it possible to start anew? Together?
“To think that we could stay the same,” he sings quietly.
“To think that we could stay the same,” you sing back.
To think that we could stay the same
But we’re two slow dancers, last ones out
We’re two slow dancers, last one out
Two slow dancers, last ones out
44 notes · View notes
peeterparkr · 3 years
Text
The Holiday.|Tom Holland
chapter one: The Prince and the Pauper. (Pauper.)
↳ read Sophia’s version here and a little bit of Tom. (Tim fic)
So, the christmas series is finally here! This is a 2 fics in one, meaning I’ll write Tom’s fic and @jambrosemc will write a Tim Chalamet fic, if you’re not familiar with the concept, it’s based on the movie The Holiday, where two women after being heartbroken switch their homes and lives for a bit. Both fics are reader insert, however Emma’s character will be named Sophia in this fic and my character will be named Iris in her fic. Remember the fics are connected and that Tom’s introduction is held in @jambrosemc​ ‘s fic. And so Tim’s introduction is here. Hope it’s not complicated and we hope you love it. 
STORY SUMMARY:  Two women troubled with guy-problems, one who’s in love with love and one who doesn’t believe in it are both suffering from a broken heart, with little reasoning and nothing left to lose, they swap homes in each other's countries for the holidays, where they’ll meet a local guy who will probably change their destiny. 
chapter summary: The heartbreak of an unrequited lover. pairing: tom holland x y/n | warnings: Chad, mentions of sex, alcohol, mentions of cheating.  word count: 7.2k
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There is something unequivocally  known about love, everything that’s been said about it, is almost true. We’ve been bombarded with love songs, romantic comedies, romance novels, poetry, it’s everywhere. There can never be enough love songs, because no matter how incredible it never seems to be the same, you’ll never see two pieces that are identical, some of them are similar, of course, but they all speak from a very deep side of Love.  Love isn’t one thing that is written down, not an exact science. There’s no right formula to whatever love is. But every single thing written about love might be true, at least to someone. Love is something so personal and yet we can all relate to it, but then again there’s never two loves that will feel the same. There can be two love stories starting at the same time but you’ll never feel like it’s the same. But everytime someone dares to write or speak or sing about love, it’s most likely to be true. Or so you’ve learned throughout the years.
In Romeo and Juliet,  Romeo asked himself ‘Did my heart love till now?’, and there's common sense to it, we’ve all felt that…We’ve all wondered if you’ve known love before you met the one.  You believed you had, you thought you had it all figured out. How much can one learn about love? We’ve all felt it. At some point, or another. You had. It’s incredibly easy to understand that though love is unique in its own sense, love is universal.
You did believe that everything concerning love was true. Shakespeare also said, "Journeys end when lovers meet."
Was it true? You loved to rely on that thought, that we were meant to travel until we found the one. That two people are destined to meet in the middle and start a new one together.
You loved to think about love more than anyone did, you were hopeless. It’s incredibly complex, and subtle and it’s got the power to change someone, and a story, completely. Love is not easy.
Love is also blind, you, perfectly,  knew about that. It was smart to know that you’d been blinded yourself.
Love fades. Love is lost. Love is complicated. Love can be something eternal, or love can only last for a night.
Then, there was the one love you knew, the one you’d been living for a while. Unrequited love. No one really talks about that one. All love stories rely on the fact that the two lovers will end up together. But the unrequited love? No, no one dares to write about it. Maybe because they’re too sad in their sorrow to even think of that. You always wondered what would be of that story if someone ever dared to write it. And what’s the destiny awaiting for them?
Always the bad luck, the ones with the blinded reason, but always foreign to that one feeling of joy. Always wounded, and always left when the sun is out. The handicapped of hearts.
You were one, you were one of them, the one who is in love with that one guy who never dares to love back.
It gets even worse around the Holidays, everyone speaks of it. It’s everywhere. You go to the mall and see people buying gifts for their significant others, you turn the TV on and there’s the usual bad romantic films that you ended up watching, always the same, the girl goes from the big city back to her old town and her high school sweetheart is in love with her still, all while there’s an angel or Santa Claus, or whatever they come up this time, and she finds herself falling back in love with her old town, and she’s a painter or whatever and she lets go her dream of the big city to go back to her pathetic love interest.
Yet you always watched them, curled up in front of your TV with the candy that you were supposed to give out on Halloween but instead kept them for Christmas.
That was you, a hopeless romantic who was desperate for love.
You were there, wrapping a delicate christmas present that probably was not wanted but that you were too blinded and too stupid to see that. Also trying to wrap your own mind whether you’d give this out or not.
You were pathetic, and there he was in all his splendor. Chad.
Of course, maybe that’s what you get for being in love with a man named Chad, but he didn’t live up to his name. He was handsome, and incredibly perfect, and you were always so mesmerized by him. You had been in love with him for three years now, three miserable years. And honestly it’s been the worst years of your life, worst birthday, christmases, Halloween, New Years Eve’s that needed wine and Xanax. The biggest curse. All because you’re in love with a man who’s never and will never ever love you back.
He probably wasn’t conventionally good looking, not for most girls around anyway, but he had a confidence and a sly sexuality that could get you to your knees in the blink of an eye.
“Y/N, dear, please tell me you’re not deeply lost looking at Chad?” Angela, your coworker and probably closest thing to a friend asked.
“What?” You were snapped out of your trance. “No, no!” Though you had been.
The holidays party at the newspaper you worked at. You wrote the only good news, you’d say, the column of UNIONS, when you described marriages and gave the couples a little bit of spotlight to their recent and new found joy. You wanted to write way more than that, honestly, but you didn’t mind. Though you knew you were probably wasted potential. Potential, everyone said you had it.
“I thought that was over,” Angela pointed out.
“It is! It is—“You tried to say. “It—is, mostly.”
Angela rolled her eyes, “thought so,” she snapped. “What even was the deal with you two? You used to fuck him right?”
“I—“you coughed. “Yeah, I used to sleep with him, but more importantly I was in love with him.”
Still were, for that matter.
“Oh, great, and then—you discovered he was fucking that other girl in accounting, Denise.”
“Yes, I did find out and hence why I stopped… sleeping with him,” you whispered, embarrassed. “And I don’t want to talk about this at the party.”
“But like I always see you two together, so he cheats on you and you keep being friends with him?” Angela pushed to your own disarray. “Plus, I’m like 300% sure you’re the one who writes the articles for him, he hasn’t one ounce of talent and you do.”
You did write his stuff. But couldn’t get anywhere yourself.
“I well-”
“And he cheated, y/n.”
“Yes but he didn’t cheat, you see in his mind we weren’t in a relationship and we were in mine… but like—“
“So if you’re not in a relationship that means you have to expect he’s going to fuck other women?” She pointed out.
“I—“ you didn’t know what to say. “No, no, I mean—but I was so in love with him, but—“Somehow this had opened a gate that you hadn’t opened in a while. “Wait—No, no I can’t cry,” you said to yourself feeling like there was going to be a cascade pooling your eyes. “Does it look like I’m crying?”
“Y/n, maybe—Look,” she wiped off a tear, I—“She coughed. “Did he ever say he loved you?”
“I—yes, three times.” You had counted them. “When I reminded him of that he said it must've been a  question and it most certainly was not.”
“You see y/n, when you catch a man fucking another woman you’re not supposed to remain friends with him, you’re supposed to make a scene, threaten to chop off his dick, throw things at him, like I did with your brother.”
You rolled your eyes, “Tim didn’t cheat on you,” you said. “You slept with him once, didn’t talk to each other for like a month and he found someone else and you made a scene.”
You knew your brother was many things but he wasn’t a cheater, he was not a bad person. Tim was someone with enough confidence to know what he wanted and sure, he did find a one night love with strangers every now and then, but he wasn’t a bad person. He probably was too confused. He’s the typical man who is afraid of commitment and has no follow through.
He never fell in love, that wasn’t his thing. The opposite of you, who fell in love deeply. Tim never—wanted any commitment. He could have a one night stand and never follow through.
“But—you see that’s what you’re supposed to do,” Angela continued.
“But I’m not doing anything, we just—text,” you admitted with pity, “and sometimes we FaceTime but like that’s it, and we’ve gone out for lunch and look, he says we’d be idiots to give up our friendship but—“You couldn’t continue.
“Fucking men, they’re trash, all of them, he’s got you right where he wants you, who wouldn't want a fantastic girl like you in love with him ... hanging on his every word …?” She asked. “Chad knows anytime he wants to crawl back …”
“And he is… Look, today he—he said we should go out and he gave me a Christmas present.”
“Which was?”
“A set of lingerie but—“
“Oh my god y/n,” she snapped. “I can’t believe how pathetic you are.”
“Is it pathetic really? To think the world is near perfection every time I’m with him?”
Angela rolled her eyes. “Very. It’s...Chad.”
“I… is it wrong, really? I just want to be loved.”
“And you chose Chad?”
Before you could say anything, your boss called out. “Everybody gather around. I have an important announcement to make,” your boss said. “First of all you, I want to wish each and every one of you a Merry  Christmas. It’s been a year, hasn’t it? I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished,”he kept rambling on their achievements or whatsoever they had done throughout the year, you couldn’t care less. “Given that, we may be able to get by with a smaller announcement—Which involves y/n—y/n? Are you there?”
Angela raised your hand.
“Well y/n your column on weddings has been lovely,” he said.
Was it though?
“And—Well, a wedding was privately announced earlier, and I don’t think any other paper in town knows about it and I want you to be the first to report on this particular union,   as it is between two of our most esteemed colleagues got hitched! Bring a loud cheer for Chad Bloom and Denise Higgins!”
Boom.
It all felt...no.
You tried desperately not to cry. Everyone could see you there. Were you dreaming? This was a nightmare.
You didn’t know how you got the guts to get out of that office without crying. You’ve never felt braver before, but you had to give the politest of smiles to Chad and everyone around to then proceed to get your coat and head home. How pathetic did you look in your car crying to a guy who definitely was going to do that.
This felt like a nightmare. The love of your life was engaged.  And you couldn’t do anything about it. Because you didn’t believe in multiple loves, only one, love wouldn’t come again and knock on your door. This was it, you were destined to be lonely and stay lonely. This was your very worst nightmare, all that time wasted upon and there was nothing you could do about it.
It hurt, your heart was wrenched. You’d open the Halloween candy sooner, and you’d bought ice cream, three pints of ice cream.
Just a week before he had given you the set of lingerie and said he was eager to see you wearing it. Honestly, you had lied to Angela. You had seen him a couple of times, and sooner or later you’d end up in between the sheets because you had absolutely no self control when it came to him. He knew how to press your buttons and where to touch you and he’d try to charm you each time and you’d end up falling for it. He’d say that he’d changed and that he always believed in you.
Honestly, you always fell for it because you thought you were both destined to be in love.
But now it was all gone, you’d lost him. He was going to marry someone else.
This probably was the lowest point in your life, it really was. Because it was so stupid to fall in love with someone who was just going to step on you, and you needed someone. Time was passing by, it was getting darker and night was only drowning you more. You needed someone to talk to, who’d listen. But someone who wouldn’t judge you just as bad or who couldn’t judge you as bad.
You were getting tired of crying but you couldn’t help it. You felt insignificant and as small as humanly possible. So very crushed.
You called your brother, because though he probably would judge you, and he’d probably not care, he was kind of forced to listen because you were relatives and you did help him from time to time. Lately more than you wanted to.
“Y/N—?” Tim answered, and you could hear there was music playing behind him. Of course he’d be awake in the middle of the night. He probably was out clubbing.
“Tim—I need—I’m not okay,” you admitted.
“Y/N I can’t really—“he laughed in between. “Hear you.”
“Chad is engaged!” You said louder.
He laughed. “Chad, what a stupid name.”
“Tim I’m serious!” She stated.
“How serious can this be his name is Chad!” Tim giggled. He was clearly drunk.
“Tim! I—He’s engaged I—I can’t believe it just a week ago he said he—“
“We’ve both known Chad is an asshole y/n, his name is Chad for fuck’s sake,” Tim pushed. “We both—I thought you were over him.”
“I… well.”
“Fuckin’ hell, y/n.”
“I’m never gonna love again,” you stated.
He scoffed. “Love doesn’t exist, y/n,” he stated. “Not for someone named Chad.”
“Stop.”
“He—“Tim sighed. “Look, we both knew he was an idiot, and we both knew he was going to break your heart and—He already had! May I remind you of that? He cheated on you!” He stated. “He is an asshole who doesn’t deserve any of your tears and I’m a hundred percent sure you are crying.”
You were, for that matter. Love for you was also always shedding tears.Sad tears. Love hurts. “I love him.”
“And I love this vodka on my hand,” he stated. “That—means nothing, okay?”
“You’ve never been in love,” she snapped. “You don’t know how it feels to have your love taken away—“
“Don’t go there, y/n.”
“I—I just—I can’t—“
“Y/N you need a break,” Tim said without really caring. “I’ll call you back later alright? I’m busy.”
A break.
Yes, that’s exactly what you needed. A break from your stupid and pathetic life, a break from your little fantasy. A break from Chad. Honestly, you were tired of it. Always having the worst of luck. You needed a break from men, though you barely had… Being completely honest, it only takes one man to lose faith in humanity. They hold that power.
You knew what love was and well, you’d never have it. You were destined to be the side character, the best friend and the one plot device. Not relevant.
Because honestly how stupid were you.
But was it really so bad to feel that way? To long for love, for someone who would run to you, and whom you could fall so deeply with. Guess now you had to build up walls. Because now you couldn’t get nobody else to hurt you again, nobody was worth this pain. Nobody should ever feel this way. You never wanted to let anyone hurt you again.
Honestly, you so needed a break.  But where and how?
You couldn’t stay in your place, it held too many memories, lots of them of you being stupid with Chad because you were such an idiot for letting him in your house and corrupt your place. You needed a break because everything would remind you of him, your car, his car, his house, this town, everything. Also your place was too sad.
You could go away. You had to, because you couldn’t let yourself drown in more sorrow. You were so unbelievably tired of it.
You had to go. Away from him, away from this place and your stupid house. Hell, if you could, you’d go to another country.
You rang Timmy again.
“What- y/n?”
“Where should I go?”
“What?”
“Yes on vacation,” you added.
“How do I-I don’t know, fuck it eh, oh wherever they speak English, bye.” He hung up on you again.
Where did they speak English?
England, of course.
Hell, maybe that’s why Chad didn’t love you, you were stupid, probably. England. London. You’d always wanted to go there. Anywhere really, but you never went anywhere because you were still waiting on Chad. Jesus, how much time did you spend wasting on that man?
England.
You opened up your laptop, ready for it. You needed to get away and not waste the holidays watching old and bad Hallmark movies eating ice cream by yourself. Or maybe yes, just far away from your own house.
Airbnb.
You went straight to London, it always seemed like a dream, besides it could work. And you scrolled through houses, big ones, small ones.
Then you found one. ‘Cozy, lovely place above a bookshop’. It did call your mind, it gave the idea of a perfect fantasy, it seemed nice enough.
And far, very far. And so different from whatever her fantasy with Chad had been, what was his thing? Island in the Caribbean.
You kept reading.
“In the other direction, the Bayswater Road will take you to Notting Hill (location of the Julia Roberts/ Hugh Grant film of the same name) and its fantastic local restaurants and bars, boutique shops, and the famous Portobello Road Market.”
That caught your mind. It seemed… perfect but to live with that fantasy of yours to live in a stupid romcom. Could it be?
No, no. You had to go in with the idea that no matter how romantic, you had bad luck and not even such a romantic place would make you have someone to love. You were really supposed to be always lonely. But the idea… of leaving did thrill you.
You didn’t think much of it, but the next morning, you still had that thought roaming in your mind, and eventually… you tried to reach out. It had closed, however. But you had saved the ad.
Sophia.
That was her name.
Hey! I’m interested in your house! That seemed too weird. Besides she had closed it.
You decided to reach out anyway.
“Hey, I was interested in your house! I don’t know if someone else rented it but I thought it was worth the shot. Is it still available? I’m sorry if it’s not. I just really liked your place! It’s okay if it’s not! Sorry! Thank you!” You sent it in. Wondering if you’d apologized just enough times.
You knew she’d probably not respond.
“Oh, sorry! I was renting it because I was planning to go on holiday with my boyfriend but plans changed. We broke up recently so I won’t be going anymore,” she answered.  That had been quick. Lucky she was online but the place was no longer available.
This was your bad luck only. Of course she wasn’t going to rent it. The dream seemed too far away. But… she had just broken up, she probably was feeling awful.
“Oh, I’m sorry!  why did you break up with him?” You asked.
Then read again what you’d just asked. What was wrong with you? This was a stranger. They didn’t need to give any explanation.
“I’m sorry you don’t have to answer that. I don’t know why I asked.” You added.
She was typing. “No, don’t worry! I guess it’s pretty complicated but long story short, he cheated on me.”
Been there, you thought to yourself. But probably at least most likely she was dating him and they were in a relationship not like you with your stupid “whatsoevership” with Chad.
“Men are trash,” you texted her.
“To say the least,” she answered.
You bit your lip. You knew you had to open up to. Well you didn’t have to, but you… felt the need to.
“I’m really sorry, I know how it feels. I was actually looking at your place to escape from a man myself. The love of my life, Chad, just got engaged.”
As soon as you sent it you saw how stupid you looked. You were absolutely pathetic.
“Chad?” Sophia asked.
You chuckled. You could see the smirk from the other side.
“I know. It’s my fault for falling in love with a Chad. Lives up to his stupid name.” Was your response.
It honestly was. But thought it seemed fun to poke on his name, it really didn’t occur to you that it was because of his name that he was an asshole, don’t blame it on a name.
“Well, I’m sorry that “Chad” had to be the love of your life. It sounds like we both need to get away.” Sophia sent.
Yes, you too were sorry.
“Definitely, but I’m gonna keep looking. I need to be at least 500 miles away from him.”
You really were going to keep looking, maybe not as perfect as the place Sophia had but at least go away.
“Maybe we could work something out?” Sophia asked.
Huh.
You grinned before chuckling. “Let’s switch lives like in The Parent Trap, although we’re not twins we’d be switching breakup lives.”
That would be a fun idea, impossible of course but you secretly hoped it could be done.
“Sounds interesting! Where are you from?” She asked.
Was she really up for it or was she just like you? Bored and alone enough to be talking to a stranger you’d met over Airbnb. Some people do tinder, but guessed you did Airbnb to make friends with other women who’d fallen under the sorrow that is falling in love with men.
“Astoria, Oregon. Pretty boring compared to London I guess.” Was your answer. Of course if she was remotely interested on switching before, all hopes would flush now.
“Not at all! All I care is that it’s far from here.” Sophia answered.
Was… it for real?
“Me too.”
You answered in hopes, but not really she’d back away.
“So, should we switch?” She asked.
You stared at the screen, not believing it. You had to make sure. “You’re serious? My place is nothing like yours.”
“Surely it’s not too horrible.”
It wasn’t, honestly. It was pretty. But not exciting, it was only normal. It was clean, it was full of books.
“I have a kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, living room. That's it. And I’m not near a romantic location like yours. I do have a dog, though.”
You didn’t know why you were sabotaging yourself. Matter of habits, maybe.
She didn’t.. Back away. “That’s perfect, I want far away from romance.”
So weird, you wanted to go near something romantic to be reminded love exists, or whatever. You didn’t understand why. Honestly, it probably was only a way to cope with this.
“Well, this is your chance.”
Honestly, this place was everything but romantic.
“Can I ask you one thing?” She asked.
She was going to back away. “Sure.”
“Are there any men in your town?” She asked.
Well, there goes your chance. You had to be honest about it. “Honestly? Zero.”
You waited for the ‘not interested' answer, instead she gave you: “When can I come?”
You scoffed with delight, not believing it. “Tomorrow too soon?” You asked, half-joking only. Honestly, you had to get away now.
“Tomorrow’s perfect actually.”
You couldn’t believe it. “wait wait wait but like are you for real?”
“Absolutely, or would it be too crazy?”
It ws for that matter, but when you’re brokenhearted you have no common sense. You didn’t have one of your own, that is. But this was exciting and this seemed like an adventure. A great idea for the one book you’d promised yourself you’d end up writing one day, instead of writing every other article for Chad.
You thought about it, you really wanted to go through with it. “It is but I’m down for it, but like, okay do you want pics of my home or something so you don’t think I’m a creepy old man who might kidnap you?”
And that would bring less of suspicion, god, why were you like this?
“Umm, yes actually :) that would be great.”
Yeah, she’d say that.
“Okay, wait, want my phone number so we’re not talking over air bnb?”
“Yes, I feel like that might be better.”
What was going on? Why were you exchanging numbers with a girl who you had never met and who lived in a completely different country. Besides, it was even crazier to think you btoh were thinking about switching places. You were crazy, completely off reason. Yet you didn’t know how or why you ended up both texting more, and talking. Showing each other’s places and ranting about men.
You couldn’t blame her for not believing in love, of course she wouldn’t. The ne guy she gives her heart to cheated on her. You wouldn’t blame her, at all. Besides, it was just…
You both had a very different version of it, but it was… Different. Yes, different, you guessed there was no other way to put it into it.
The texting didn’t cease, it continued more than you ever thought it would. Because sometimes it’s easier to rant to a stranger about life and love’s misfortunes. It seemed incredibly stupid how you both were talking about men who decided to ruin your lives. How in this world had you ended up venting to a stranger?
Danny blamed it on her. Danny seemed like the typical male who wanted to have a girlfriend and well, there was Sophia. It seemed sad, seemed like they both settled for it. Not even Sophia seemed to talk about him with love. She was just so… Not into it. Just talking about someone who she used to share time with.
She had given up on it. You couldn’t understand that. If the one who wasn’t the one could make her happy at some point, how happy would she be with the one?
However, you both seemed very alike, and both of you probably were in the same situation. Well, of course, the cheating part was different. But you’d gone through it as well. But Sophia explained that Danny, her ex, hadn’t even felt sorry for cheating.
You knew that story like the palm of your hand. Chad well… He blamed it on you, too. And he had said it, he didn’t cheat.
And though the stories were so different, the feeling was the same, of wanting to take a break from your pain, from a heartache and being so damn unreasonable to think of this. Honestly, though the idea of London seemed romantic, you knew you’d end up curled up crying on the other side of the world.
Sophia seemed to be very well put together, she had her bookshop, which added to her life. And sure, she seemed like a workaholic but she seemed to be kind. Someone who had the guts to follow her dreams and someone who barely had time to think about love.
You wished you were a bit more like her. She seemed like a main character. Even her name was a main character one.
The texting, not sure how or when, turned into a facetime call, and there you were, facetiming with a stranger about the lack of love you’d been involved with.  You pitied her, though. Not in a bad way, but in a way you could completely understand what she was going through. She seemed tough enough. But for her, love had rules. It had to be a certain way, and life had to have a certain balance and everything had to be merely perfect. But love for her was simple, the only rule was not to cheat.
Danny, her ex, had broken that rule. Which honestly, from what you’d gathered she was someone who actually tried. But… No, Sophia had seen him fade out. It always scared you to see that, to see how someone falls out of love. Sophia had seen it. But maybe Sophia’s belief, or lack of, of love was just… Surreal. But you understood it, not completely. But you did.
How could she believe in love when she’d never had it? Truly had it.
And she spoke of love as if it was a disease. Maybe it was, a disease. But was love really the disease or the aftermath the true one?
She didn’t believe in love. And not in a way that everyone has gone through, not in the way when you’re so brokenhearted that you don’t believe in it for a while. No, she didn’t want to give it a chance. For her, life was supposed to be about her success and her job, and the thrill of owning a bookshop.
Maybe she was the one who was right, after all you'd proved that love only could hurt. And how could you, after all of this, believe in it?
“So how long were you with him?” You asked her, as you were pacing around your kitchen, honestly you didn’t care if a complete stranger was seeing you in your ‘Chad reaction’, the bottle of wine, the chips, the cookies, your pj’s. Your pug dog, Tommy following you around.
Yet she was there, so elegantly, with her glass of wine. How was she handling it so well?
She gave it a thought. “About four years. What about you? How long have you loved Chad?” She smirked at the thought.
Four years. It seemed… enough. You rolled your eyes at the mention of his name. “Oh god it does sound super stupid,” you groaned. “But… Three stupid and miserable years, it’s a low point,” you said before finally opening up the wine and pouring a glass.
“No, it’s not stupid,” she answered. But it was, his name was Chad. “But, I can imagine how it would be a low point.”
Very, very low point. “But like you told me—He blamed it on you?” You couldn’t put your mind to it, at least Chad had accepted he’d slept with Denise. Of course, he didn’t say he cheated but he hadn’t… blamed it on you.
“He did,” she admitted. “He said I worked too much, and that I didn’t give him enough attention.”
You clenched your jaw, incredulous of how stupid he was. If you met the guy you’d probably slap him. “Fuck him, honestly, you’re successful bet he was intimidated by your success.” Because that’s how men work.
Sophia sighed. “Hmm, I doubt it. He just seemed… “ She paused. “bored of me.” You could see she was hurt. “I mean, he was right about one thing. I do spend most of my time at work, but that doesn’t give him any right to do that.”
“No. it doesn’t,” you agreed as you plopped on your couch, your dog jumping to your lap .” Why—Why are men—Like—”You didn’t know what you wanted to ask. “No, never mind that’s my question,” and it was. “Why are men?”
She let out a soft laugh. “Why are men indeed. More specifically, why is Chad?” She joked.
You laughed, too, with distress, running a hand through your face. “Ugh, don’t even mention him,” you whined. “He’s an asshole, can you imagine just a week ago he wanted to sleep with me?” You snaked with disbelief.
She groaned. “What I really have trouble understanding is why you ever wanted to sleep with him.” You had the question backwards, why had he ever looked at you? “Maybe his personality, but he seems like such a wad.”
You didn’t know how to answer the question. Then again, you had the same question for her. Why Danny? Why, being such an incredible woman, had she chosen Danny? Love is blind. You’d learned that over the years.
Maybe because ‘Danny and Sophia’ sounded like something with balance. But did it really? How could she see it so simply?
“Look—I—” You took a deep breath. “I believe in love at first sight,” and you did, in your own way. “and I don’t know, I guess—I saw the fantasy, you know?” You explained. “Thought we could—I don’t know, he was charming,” because he had been, at very first, he had been charming and he’d learned how to make you fall in love with him. “I guess I wanted that, you know the whole love story,” you sounded so childish and stupid but how could anyone ever apologize for being in love. “And he made me believe he could give it to me and then he just never—”You had to face the truth. “He only wanted sex and I fell in love,” it all ended so simply. Maybe Sophia was right all along. “Pathetic right?”
She watched you, and you saw it, the pity in her eyes. Yet someone else feeling sad for you.  She probably did think you were pathetic. “No, I don’t think it’s pathetic… I think… well, I’ve come to the conclusion that love isn’t worth any cost,” she answered. “Not really, especially since it doesn’t even seem real.” You wondered again, how come she’d never felt it. “Love makes people get their hopes up. It makes us… give too much of ourselves to other people, when we don’t even know what our future with them looks like,” she explained. Yes you were probably a mental woman to her. “But I don’t think it’s pathetic that you wanted to believe in something that only seems to come from fairytales, I just think that’s what most people do.”
How bad is it to want a fairytale? “Love is worth it, though,” you said, because how come a beautiful feeling could carry so much pain. “It’s men who are the problem.”
She grinned, defeatedly. “Suppose you got me there…”
You had to ask though. “But you... like really don’t believe in love?” You asked. “Then why were you with Danny? Didn’t you love him?”
She grimaced and took a sip of her wine. “You know,” she paused to think a bit. “I thought I loved him, and I thought he loved me.” You understood that part, believing someone loves you back and then it turns out they didn’t… Well, it hurt. “But, I guess he just…”She probably didn’t understand it herself. “And it just made me realize that, even if love is real, it comes so rarely that I don't believe I would ever find it.” That you could understand, though you were so enthusiastic about the feeling, you knew you weren’t meant to find it. “I just don’t think most people do.” She watched you, curiously. “Why have you put so much into it if you were hurt?”
It was an escape, really. Love seemed to make people happy and you wanted to be happy. She reminded you so much of Tim, talking trash about love and not understanding the thrill for it. Being so done with the feeling.
“I think… I dunno, love isn’t a one time thing,” you started with that, because it was true. “I think the problem is I suffered from unrequited love, but I think I… I dunno, I think we get chances,” you said. “Not me though,” you scoffed. “but it’s… I don’t know, I think I’ve always read about love and I’ve always wanted that, and love is complicated, that’s it,” you said, because love could come in so many ways. “I don’t think you can easily-“You shook your head. “I mean I do believe in a sort of thing like love at first sight but I mean, I believe in second chances, but like not for everyone,” seemed like believed in second chances for Chad. “ I guess I… I think there is such a thing as love I’m just… “ you took a deep breath. “super unlucky and maybe that sweet fantasy of any Julia Roberts’ romcom isn’t for me, I’m destined to be a side character who gets no… attention.” Or love.
Sophia probably believed you were helpless. You were. “Oh, come on Iris, that’s not true,” it was easy for her to say. She was the main character. “I mean, if you do come here then you’ll have plenty of opportunity to live a Julia Roberts movie. People seem to find this place so thrilling…” Why wouldn’t they. “I don’t seem to know much about love, or to really be the one to talk to about it, though… “ She admitted truthfully. She gave it a thought. “You know, you should talk to my friend, Tom, if you come. I think you’d get along well, he gushes on about love all the time.”
Your dog raised its head as soon as he heard his name. Tom. You smiled and petted him. “It is thrilling I mean, it’s near Notting Hill,” you were excited. “I just need Hugh Grant and that’s it but…”You knew it wouldn’t come. “You might come here and hate on love with my brother, he hates everything related to it.”
He really did. Tim was even worse than her. Tim never, ever had believed in love. He said he didn’t want to bother about it, no commitment, not ever seeing someone twice because why would he? He said it was a waste of time. Shades of gray on love. And he said he didn’t want to risk just to get hurt. He said love was… a mystery he didn’t want to explore. He liked simple things.
“Really? He sounds better than most men already,” she commented.
You laughed. “He’s not.”
If you ever bumped into someone like your brother you’d end up running the other way.
She chuckled. “Aren’t siblings meant to support one another?”
You scoffed. “You’d think that,” you pointed out. “But no, he’s a man,” you stated clearly. “I don’t know who’s worse men who hate love or men who pretend to love love,” you snaked. Probably the second one. “Your friend is probably the second one.”
Men who don’t believe in love at least are direct about it, and the second type they know and try to hurt you.
She shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. He seems to really believe in it, maybe more than you. He’s really sweet, typically… “She said. “I mean, he is a man so he has his days”
You heard her…. And then you clicked it. Tom, that friend of hers, he probably was in love with her. “Oh,” you closed your eyes. “Of course…. so… Right, right,” she chuckled. “But you don’t believe in love and...Right, right,” you thought it was ironic. You hadn’t even met the guy but you could tell that he probably was so smitten with her and she didn’t see it. A perfect love story.  Why couldn’t she see it? “Perfect setup, see?” You said. “This town is perfect for you, nothing that has to do with romance. It’s a great way to get away from everything romance.”
She seemed confused, because of course, she didn’t see it, she couldn’t, for that matter. But god, how did she not see it?
“Then I can’t wait to go, really,” she went along. “I mean, it seems perfect for you here, too. You can surround yourself in things to remember the “fantasy” of love again,” she offered. “So, are we really switching tomorrow?”
You couldn’t quite put your mind to it. It had been hours of you speaking with this stranger. And all because you wanted to change lives with a stranger. Were you actually going to go through with it? You wanted to.
“You think there are any flights?” You asked, half joking.
“I’m sure there have to be some. Should we check?” She offered.
You smirked and reached for your laptop, conveniently in front of you. “Definitely.”
You expected her to back up.
“Wonderful.” She hadn't. “How long are we doing this for?”
Forever? You wanted to say. “Uh, depends, holidays are coming soon… “ You pointed you. “So, even though I have no interest in spending Christmas here, what’s your idea?”
Because you didn’t want to spend Christmas with your family and hear that question, because you’d promised you’d bring Chad for Christmas. Why? You didn’t know. Because you were an idiot.
Sophia wrinkled her nose. “Nothing is really keeping me here for it, honestly.”
“I’m just-- you’re okay with dogs, right?” You asked as you pointed the camera at your puppy, honestly you had lied, Tommy was the love of your life. A young pug who loved to follow you around. “Because little Tommy here is going to miss me.”
She smiled at him. “I’d love to take care of… did you say…”She tried not to laugh. “l-little Tommy?”
You grinned as you hugged the dog close. “Yeah, his name is Tom. He’s the only male that matters.”
“Oh, I love that. I would love to trade Tom’s with you,” she chuckled.
Oh god, why didn’t she see it?
“As long as I don’t have to feed that one,” you chuckled.
“I do hope that you don’t have to, he seems somewhat capable of caring for himself,” she grinned. “Oh, by the way. He’ll be running my shop for me while I’m away, sometimes he stays later for work so if you hear him downstairs don’t worry.”
Of course he was, he was in love with her. You chuckled and then started to actually look for flights. “I probably won’t notice, honestly…” You scrolled through the flights and there was one. “Okay so here’s a flight, can you believe there’s actually one for tomorrow?”
She probably was looking for flights. “I found one too, shockingly enough… Are we really going through with this?”
Were you?
You were excited, scared but excited. “I think we are.”
“Well, alright then… “ She seemed to be rational yet.
“On three then….?” You asked, knowing this decision would probably change your entire life, not sure why. BUt you had a feeling that this was either the worst decision you’d ever made or the best one. This was the so-needed break you needed, you needed to breathe, and this was the perfect way to do so. Yes, this was unplanned and this was mysterious but this was what you needed an irrational decision.
“One…”She started.
“Two…”
“Three!” You said at the same time.
You’d bought the ticket. There was no going back now. You were going to London to a Stranger’s house for the Holidays.
sophia’s version <- REMEMBER TO READ TO KNOW WHAT’S UP WITH TOM. 
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ikleesfiction · 3 years
Text
I'm a fucking alcoholic (with a sweet tooth)
Fandom : Chicago PD TV Word count : 1,623 words Pairing : Jay Halstead x reader Author's note : This is the third one shot of "Will you follow through if I fall for you" fic continuation. It would be better if you read it first. But if you don't, here's the quick summary. Warning : It's fluff. I hope it doesn't end up too cringy?
Disclaimer
◢◤
It is a cold Friday in Chicago. You would say it is super cold since you worked in the warm weather of Los Angeles last week. Jay is coming over to your place after work. Now both of you are snuggling on the couch, watching movies on TV.
"I cannot watch this part," You hide your face in Jay's chest, preparing for the frightening scene. The darkness in the room increases the tension.
"What are you talking about? This is not even a horror movie," Jay looks down at you, bemused.
"Say you! Watching Tom Cruise blowing up a Gallardo distressed me. My soul is crying. It is a nightmare!"
You move out from Jay's embrace to point out the screen where Maggie Q said it is such a nice car. "Yes, it is! Don't do it, Zhen," yell you at the TV.
However, The Lamborghini on screen still went kaboom and was engulfed in fire. "Oh, no!" You put your hand on your heart, feeling devastated.
Jay grins at your silliness, "I'm sorry for your loss," He rubs your back, offering his condolences. However, his smile turns flirty. "If there's anything I can do to ease your pain..."
You play along with his idea. "Hmm, is that so?" Your hands wrap around Jay, pulling him closer. Your nose is tracing his neck, up to his jaw, his cheek. Your lips softly grace his skin, make their way closer to his. Jay wasted no time to kiss you and keep kissing you.
You don't know how long it goes, and you don't care to know. Until Jay moves back abruptly, tilting his head away from you, "Your pho..."
Your lips cut his words as you get on his lap. Jay puts his hands on your waist to stop you, halfheartedly, "Babe, your phone is ringing,"
Your hands curl behind his neck. "Let it ring." You whisper to his ear. Jay shudders when he feels your breath on his neck. Your mouth soon follows to make a mark on the same point. Jay tries to hold himself back from reciprocating the gesture.
Unlike Jay and his work, you got no obligation to pick up your phone. No life or death depends on you tonight. But the phone keeps shrieking. It started to annoy you because Jay stops participating in this make-out session.
"Might be important," This is one of the rare times you want to curse Jay's occupation.
"I assure you it won't be," You try to get Jay back in the game.
"Well, at least you can tell them to call you back later," Jay lands a soft kiss on your forehead. With a loud sigh, you move away from Jay's lap to pick up your phone.
Seeing the caller ID frustrates you even further. "You are interrupting our date night," is the first thing you say to your best friend, Alex, when you receive the call and put it on speaker.
"Hi, Jay!" Alex chirps his greeting, ignoring your complaint.
Jay greets back with a chuckle, "Hey, man. Nice to hear from you," He takes the remote to pause the movie, where Tom Cruise is gunning a Mercedes CLK down the road.
"No, it's not." You grumble under your breath. "What's up? Did you just come up with a song idea that would make Bruno Mars wished he wrote it?"
As a fellow songwriter/producer, you understand that song inspiration could come anytime. But it would still piss you off if Alex insists on working for it tonight.
"Not yet. But we do have a potential project for you,"
"Couldn't it wait until next week?" You moan your refusal. "Jay and I got plans for the weekend,"
"Of course. As long as you promise to pick up your phone when Angelique calls. I know you have been dodging her." Alex chides you.
Huffing your aversion, you lay your head on Jay's lap. In reflex, he plays with your hair. "Who's Angelique? A new talent?" Jay never heard that name before. He is pretty sure that he knows everybody at Pyramid, Alex's record label in Amsterdam where you work for.
Alex starts to explain, "She is a singer. Been around for a while,"
"Country singer, turned bubblegum pop singer, and now I guess she wants to try dance music as well?" You elaborate to Jay and asking Alex at the same time. You have written and produced songs from various genres, but your notable works so far are mostly EDM.
"Maybe," Alex answers casually.
"Angelique..." Jay ponders for a moment before lighting up, "Oh! Is she the one whose songs you keep skipping whenever they pop up, babe?"
Your best friend lets out a big laugh from the other side of the phone. "Angelique wants Y/N to produce her next album, but all of a sudden Y/N here cannot find the receive button on her phone," Alex emphasizes his sarcasm.
"I took yours, didn't I?"
However, Alex begins his interrogation. "Why are you avoiding her calls anyway?"
"I don't wanna work with her," You know you sound petulant.
"Come on, Y/N, it would be great! Angelique's third album sold triple more than her second. Her last single went neck to neck with Taylor Swift's song. Now, she is gonna let you work on her fourth album! Other producers would kill for this opportunity," Alex tries to reason.
Jay whistles, being impressed by the story.
"Well, my boyfriend here is a cop. I don't wanna get involved in any criminal activity," You are intentionally being obtuse. "If it were so great, why don't you do it? You're the one who still works on stage."
"You know people talked about how you could be the next Max Martin, right? Made sense that she asked for you," Alex states. "Angelique doesn't need another artist to perform with her. She needs someone who writes and produces good stuff."
"Every producer could be the next Max Martin if they work hard," You shrug the notion.
Jay looks confused with all these new names. "And Max Martin is...?"
"We are never ever ever getting back together?" Alex starts singing a couple bars to show Jay some examples of Max Martin's works.
"Uh..." Jay doesn't show any recognition.
"ou make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream?" Alex sings another song. Your best friend is nothing but persistent.
"Uhm.." And yet, Jay is still clueless.
"Jay is not keeping up with pop music for the last decade, Lex," You joke to your best friend. "Try some songs from the Backstreet Boys,"
"Hey!" Jay protests. "I know your songs," He smirks at you in full smug. "Especially the ones that were written about me."
You laugh at his adorable and sexy smirk. Sitting up from Jay's lap, you kiss the smug out of him.
"Guys, I'm still here." The flat tone of Alex on the phone stops Jay from taking the kiss further.
You peck a corner of Jay's lips one more time. "Your own fault. Who told you to call during our date night anyway?"
"Since I'm not there to poke and pinch you, I hope Jay could help me convince you to take this project." Your best friend is shameless.
"Is Angelique not a good person or something?" Jay tries to understand the situation. He knows you are a hard worker. It is rare for you to run off from a big project like this. "She ought to be a good singer, right? With all of that achievements,"
You cross your arms and glare at your boyfriend, "It is a prerogative to hate your best friend's exes, no?"
Jay frowns, "Wait, Angelique is Alex's ex?"
"Oh, come on!" groans Alex. "It was years ago!"
"You know how the saying goes. Quote-unquote, "You are my friend. She is your ex. You get to forgive and move on. I get to hold a grudge until I die”
"That was kinda harsh," Jay comments.
"Your best friend still hates me until now, Jay." You roll your eyes at your boyfriend.
"Mouse doesn't hate you. I even haven't got a chance to tell him about you since he's been deployed," Jay raises his eyebrows.
"She meant your work partner," Alex answers Jay for you.
Jay frowns deeper, "Hailey doesn't hate you."
"Wanna bet on that?" You challenge him.
Alex prevents the couple from bickering further, "Guys, listen! Angelique and I broke up amicably. There were no hard feelings between us now,"
"Excuse you!" You exclaim. "I still remember those dark days. You cried over so many Tequila bottles. And those boxes of chocolate!! Why did we have to consume that much chocolate over a breakup?? My waistline did not come back to its original measurement for three months!!"
Jay lets out an amused snort.
"Oh, you don't get to talk, man!" Alex hits the couple back. "Your temporary breakup also forced me to replenish my Jenever stocks! I got bakeries phone numbers on speed dial for chocolate cake emergencies!"
Jay puts his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. You guys continue to discuss business," He stands up from the couch. "I'm gonna go warm up some pie," Jay gestures to the kitchen area. "Alex, it's nice to catch up with you. Hope the next time we talk, it would be more social and less about business,"
"And you, love, try to listen to what Alex offers first before you cut him off," Jay bends down to kiss your lips teasingly. "Please don't pull out any bottles with more than 40% alcohol content. I need you sober for our plans tonight." He winks at you before moving to the kitchen, leaving you to deal with your pushy best friend alone.
+x Taglist +x
@lorenakaspersen @life-treatments @itsdesiree86
Foot Note: - Tom Cruise and Maggie Q blew up a Lamborghini Gallardo in Mission: Impossible III (2006). All of the MI movies are classics in my household. - Max Martin is a Swedish record producer, songwriter. You might not know his name, but I'm sure you know his songs. In reference to this fic, he co-wrote and co-produced Taylor Swift's "We are never ever ever getting back together", co-wrote Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream", co-wrote and co-produced some of Backstreet Boys' biggest hits. - "You are my friend. She is your ex. You get to forgive and move on. I get to hold a grudge until I die" line is taken from Henrietta Wilson on 9-1-1 TV Series S02E04 "Stuck". I thought it was hilarious. The line became the reason for this particular fic's existence.
I'm sorry for the long note. Thank you for reading this fic and the note. You are so welcome to reply, ask or tag me. We can talk about music, series or Jesse Lee Soffer's abs. :p
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twstwonderlandstuff · 3 years
Text
Octo Love! (Reader x Azul!)
Original song
My cover 
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In which [Name] gets a little too tired and goes on a sporadic singing journey.
It always feels like you’ve exhausted yourself to the max limit. Every day, you trudge back to Ramshackle, muscles and back sore from the work Crowley forces upon you, that damned bird. Every day, you collapse into the soft cushions in Ramshackle and fall asleep in 3 seconds, and after an hour-long ‘nap’, you wake up to see Grim sprawled on top of you, snoozing away (you’re always grateful for the ghosts you take their time to spread a blanket on top of both of you). 
But today… today was different. 
No, you’re still exhausted (come ON now, this is school and when does one catch a break from school?), eyebags visible, but this time, you don’t get the chance to go to Ramshackle. 
No-no-no. See, you’re broke. Very, very, broke, and you have to work, and what better place to get models, than working in Monstro Lounge, right?
Well, it depends. 
On good days, working there can be its sort of fun, with Floyd’s unstable mood swings, the business of the place, Azul (with his mafia-like nature) running the place to perfection, and Jade’s butler act, but on other days were simply dealing with that is too much. 
You lose all sense of logic and fear- throw that shit out of the window, dawg, it doesn’t matter.
Say it with me, loud in clear! LOGIC AND FEAR DOESN’T MATTER! Again! LOGIC AND FEAR-
“Shrimpy~?” Floyd asks, and you gasp in alarm, gripping onto whatever you were doing. What were you doing?
Ah, yes, cleaning Monstro Lounge after dark, right, right…
“Yo, Floyd…” You give him a weak grin, tiredly pushing the mop against the tiles. “I’m so… sleepy.”
“But you’re always sleepy.” Floyd points out, lighting up. “Ah, wait here, Shrimpy. I got something for you~” He quickly leaves, leaving you looking like a deer in spotlights. 
“Ehh… ah, whatever…” You mumble, going back to your duties. Oh god, the floor’s beginning to look like something entirely different….
“[Name]? Are you alright?” This time it’s Jade asking, his calm and soothing voice forcing you to rub out the sleepiness from your eyes. You know he’s not that concerned, but the verbalization is appreciated. 
“No, not really. Fuck, I just want-” You don’t get the chance to finish your complaint as Floyd bursts in, holding a sheet of music and a mic in hand. 
“Shrimpy~! You know when you sang that weird song?” Your eyes snap open for the first time, and your cheeks redden. Ahh…
It’s a song from your middle-school years, how embarrassing. You were talking with Floyd- well, to be precise, he was spinning and squeezing you about- and as he was spinning you, you began to hum a little tune. The eel picked up on it, and insistently asked what you were singing about, so you gave him the entire rundown of the song.
He giggled, saying how weird it sounded, but his grin contradicted his statement and before you could realize it, he dropped you on the ground and ran away, doing who knows what- and it seems that he’s…
“You… wrote the entire note-chorus- thing?! Based on what I said?!” You shout, skimming over the notes he’s written down messily. 
“Floyd, this is amazing, holy shit!” You gasp in amazement. “That’s so cool!”
“Hehe, sea otter helped me out! Sea otter’s too nice, it’s kinda annoying.” Floyd pouts, going to sling his arm around Jade. “Whatcha think, Ja-de?”
The twin smoothly takes the paper out of your hands and reads the notes, looking amazed. “Ah.. this truly is spectacular, Floyd. Good job.” He pats Floyd on the head, and Floyd grins at the praise. 
“What’s going on here?” Ah, the man of the hour, the head of the fish mafia himself, Azul Ashengrotto.
You might or might not harbor a tiny, insignificant crush on him. No, you don’t have secret doodles of him and you in the corners of your notebook, of course not! That very notion revokes the idea of logic!
But then again, didn’t you say ‘FUCK LOGIC!’ just a while ago? You did, didn’t you?
Well, maybe the crush is bigger than that. There might be a chance that it’s 0.1% bigger than that.
No, you most definitely harbor an obvious crush on the silver-haired bloke, and EVERYONE KNOWS, except the bloke himself!
“A-Azul, hey!” He waves you aside, used to the way you stutter when you speak to him.
 “Floyd, I believe I told you to check on [Name], not needlessly wave around a piece of paper,” Azul says, adjusting his glasses.
“But A~zul~ take a look! I, Sea Otter, and Shrimpy made this, you know! And I don’t wanna work anymore! I wanna play the piano~” Without giving Azul a chance to protest, he grabs you (and throws you over his back like a sack of potatoes) and the paper, and runs to the piano Monstro has, leaving Jade to deal with Azul. 
“Jade, set me down at once-” Azul complains as he’s handled similarly to you, looking undignified. 
“My apologies, Azul, but it wouldn’t do good to displease Floyd.” Jade chuckles.  “Besides, don’t you want [Name] to rest? It seems that you were quite worried about their health, fufu.”
Azul stiffens, a light blush adorning his ears. “I haven’t the slightest idea of what you’re talking about.”
“Ah, I must have misunderstood. My apologies.” Jade snickers, setting Azul down on one of the tables in Monstro Lounge, sitting next to him. 
You and Floyd are too far away to hear this conversation, with Floyd getting the piano up excitedly and handing you the mic. 
“Wait, are we going to play a concert? In the middle of the night?” You mutter, taking the mic dumbly. 
“Duh~ you’re pretty dim, Shrimpy!” Floyd snickers darkly, setting the music sheet in front of him and stretching. “What did Goldfish say…? Oh yeah, this spell!” 
After the spell was cast, the piano began to play a tune to what you’re familiar with. 
“Holy shit. It’s playing by itself?!” Floyd pays no heed to your words and began dancing. 
“Come on, Shrimpy, sing!” He encourages you, clearly having fun. 
Well, what’s the harm? You turn the mic on, and begin singing, moving your body for a bit.
“Ooo, we break the laws of attraction
Like you’re sent from above
Got a case of octo love”
Azul glares at the oddly fitting words but begins to slowly bop his head. Jade is smiling, stiffly dancing in his seat. 
“Ooo, we’re like a chemical reaction
Or a code you can’t debug
Got a case of octo love”
“She’s always turning to violence-” Floyd laughs particularly hard at this, and swings you around, leading you to giggle halfway through the song. 
“…’s so determined she’s timeless
And I’m so nervous I’m silent.”
Floyds leaves you be, and you pause in time with the music. 
“What if she finds out I’m lying?
What if she sends me home crying?
Why can’t I just be kawaii?”
“Isn’t that a term Idia-shii often uses…?” Azul mutters. Floyd comes closer to Jade and Azul, picking the latter up. 
“Wait wait wait-!” 
“Too late, Azul~” He plonks Azul, next to you, and you give him a grin. 
“Baby, baby, baby, you’re so fine-” You scream into the mic, clutching it like a madman. 
Mew mew kissy cutie, you’ll be mine-
Crushing, crushing, crushing, on AZUL-” 
The octopus freezes in shock, as you continue with the very, very fitting lyrics. Floyd’s going absolutely ham, doing some sort of ska dance with his twin as he laughs at your mistake. (RIP all the other members of Octavinelle). 
“Oh, did I say that out-”
No, did I say that out loud?!” You, being dramatic, clutches Azul’s hands and shake them, seemingly unaware of what you’ve said. 
The octopus face reddens almost immediately when you swing his arms as children do.
“Ooo, we break the laws of attraction
Like you’re sent from up above
Got a case of octo love”
The poor dorm leader would like to hide under his octopod forever now, thank you very much. 
“Ooo, we’re like an improper fraction
Hope this ship gets safe to shore
Though I’m quite unsure”
“Come on shrimpy, join us!” Floyd grabs you and Azul, and together, the 4 of you began dancing in a circle as the Dance Break ensues, your and Azul’s hands holding each other. Azul just repeatedly wants to die of shame and embarrassment. 
“She’s always turning to violence
I’m always turning to science
She’s so determined she’s timeless 
And I’m so nervous I’m silent.”
You lot stop spinning, dizzy, and out of breath as Floyd takes the mic and sings into it, surprisingly melodious (well, maybe it’s not THAT much of a surprise. He IS from the sea, after all.)
“What if she finds out I’m lying?
What if she sends me home crying?
Why can’t I just be kawaii?
And then I’m like…”
Jade takes the microphone, seemingly knowing the lyrics, and sings into it, making you cheer as you press close to him. 
“Baby, baby, baby, you’re so fine
Mew mew kissy cutie, you’ll be mine-”
You grab the mic back, spinning in place. 
Crushing, crushing, crushing on Azul-”
You point towards the dorm leader, who’s taken to sitting on the floor of Monstro Lounge and hiding most of his face with his hands, excluding his eyes, and come near him, getting your face a little too close to his liking. 
“And so I shout it out!” 
And so I shout it out loud!”
You grab Azul by the hand and drag him towards you, skillfully keeping him balanced. He can’t help but wonder, Where was this energy when you were working?
You began to do a sort of impromptu couple dance, your exhausted giggles and laughs slipping in and Azul sighs at the silliness of it all, but… he smiles genuinely. 
You look so plaintively happy here that he can’t help it, you know?
“Ooo, we’re like a warrior in action
Fit together like a glove-”
You shove the mic into his face, and he, in a low voice, murmurs. 
“Got a case of octo love…”
You gasp dramatically, looking like you didn’t notice him. 
“OOOOH MY GOD HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN STANDING THERE?!”
“I’ve been right here the whole time…” He mutters, a little confused. Is this part of the song, or something?
“Ok, now I want to die.” You say, deadpan. The twins, who were back to their own ska dance thing, grabs the mic from you and pulls you and Azul by the arms (again). The four of you began to sing in harmony (as harmonious as you can get, anyway). 
“Ooo, we break the laws of attraction-”
You eagerly grab the mic back.  “A duet will maybe do... cuz I invited Floyd and Jade too!”
“Hehe, of course, you did, Shrimpy~”
“Smooshed together like a bug!!”
“Got a case of Octo love~”
You let out a huge laugh, giggling and snickering as Jade sets you down, catching your breath. 
“That was… fun…! But now, I...holy shit… I’m tired…” You gasp in exhaustion, falling flat onto one of the couches and quickly began to fall asleep, but-
“Ne, Shrimpy?”
With the last bit of your strength, you open your eyes just a tiny bit. “Wha..?”
“D’ya realize what ya said?” Floyd’s grin is wide like he was about to tease the SHIT out of you or use you in some way. He flops on the floor and leans onto your leg. 
“The song, yeah?”
“Hihihi, Shrimpy~,” The twin says. “You’ll see tomorrow~ goodnight.” He says quietly, a quick change of mood. 
“Sleep tight.” Jade laughs, sitting down next to you and putting his head back. 
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” Azul finishes, sitting a bit further away from the 3 of you. 
“G’night.” Not a second later, and you are asleep, breathing softly.
*
“Ne, ne, Azul~? Watcha think of Shrimpy’s confession?”
“Th-that wasn’t a confession! It was a slip of the tongue.”
“Eh. You’re still gonna deny that. That’s cowardly, Azul~ Even Shrimpy knows better than that.”
“I must agree. Honestly, to think that you were beaten to confessing. And most oddly, too.”
“I...um…”
*The Leech twins grin widely at Azul’s clamming up. 
“Hmm~?”
“J-just leave me be!”
*With a face as red as tomatoes, Azul leaves, assuming to hide in his octo pot. 
[Thanks v much for reading! This is a better version of what I put out yesterday because god damn, that was disgraceful.]
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sylvies-chen · 3 years
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From Song to Storyline: Comparing Lorde’s “Melodrama” Album to Hailey Upton’s Upcoming Journey
Ok I couldn’t resist, I made a comment about how Hailey Upton is in her Melodrama era (because yes, I’m an absolute Lorde fanatic) and my loving soulmate @sylviebrettsey mentioned Taylor Swift’s Reputation too, but ALSO how she was unfamiliar with Melodrama so you can thank her for this analysis of why I picked Melodrama as Hailey’s season 9 mood! It’s going to be VERY long so I’ll put everything under the cut but I hope you guys like it! (And Sky, I hope you find this Lorde knowledge to be helpful lol. This is going to be very long but I hope it’s worth it and convinces someone out there to give the album a listen)
Reputation is an album that feels inherently vengeful in all the best ways. Songs like “Getaway Car” and “Don’t Blame Me” fit Hailey’s predicament at the end of season 8 very well, especially in relation to Jay. Those two songs as well as the album in general make for a very intense musical journey and Hailey’s been through a lot of intense things so naturally, it seems like they’d fit together. But based on what we’ve seen in interviews, I picked Melodrama for Hailey Upton’s season 9 era because that whole album plays with the idea of what happens after.
Lorde mostly talks about the crash that happens after a party when referencing this “after” but it acts a metaphor for being on a high note (a relationship, life, careers, etc.) and then crashing down. It’s a gritty, heart-wrenching album that holds so many similarities to what Hailey’s feeling. Coming into season 9, we know she isn’t sleeping, she can’t eat, there’s guilt eating away at her over what she’s done and over having to be around Kim constantly while keeping her secret. We know she’s clinging onto Jay with this proposal, know she’s going to have this internal torment because she can’t tell any of them what happened but Jay’s starting to notice something’s wrong with her and catching on to what happened. So, without further ado, lemme just give you snippets of lyrics from various songs on Lorde’s Melodrama album that fit with different parts of Hailey’s journey— as well as the unit’s journey— going into the new season!
1. “Sober”
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In Sober, Lorde writes and sings about her experience of getting a panic attack at a party (Hence, the “Oh God, I’m clean out of air // In my lungs, it’s all gone” line) but then having to act normal because of social expectations and adds the “Played it nonchalant” line. In relation to Hailey, this represents her covering her ruse even though it’s killing her inside. Then, when we move further down these lyrics, it talks about being alone with the truth and dancing with the truth— again, Hailey struggling with the truth of what she did. Then, at the end of this first verse it could almost be seen from Jay’s perspective. “I’m acting like I don’t see // Every ribbon you used to tie yourself to me” is SO similar to what Jesse Lee Soffer’s been saying in interviews about Jay not knowing if Hailey’s proposal was genuine, and also what he and Tracy have said about Hailey’s proposal being genuine but also a product of her clinging on to the one good thing in her life.
2. “Liability”
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Ah, yes, finally! The best song on the Melodrama album and arguably one of Lorde’s best songs ever! She wrote this in the back of a cab about the struggle of trying to love herself and worrying she’s too much for her friends. If that’s not a Hailey Upton sentiment going into this season, I don’t know what is! Not only is this applicable to Hailey with the Roy situation but it could also be applied to 8x11 when she was scared that her baggage and trauma around being abused by her father meant she couldn’t be with Jay. Also, now that she’s done this huge, massive thing that she has to live with, it’ll make it even harder for her to love herself— and for her to consider the fact that maybe, if she was truthful about that night, her friends would still love her anyway.
3. “Homemade Dynamite”
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Homemade Dynamite, according to Lorde, describes “the moment when you meet someone at a party and an explosive night follows”. Again, right off the bat you see motifs of lies vs. truth when she’s saying let’s let things come out of the woodworks. It also technically talks about being blind to rules and dreams which is perfect for the finale: Hailey was blind to her dream (because let’s be real, thinking she could stop Voight was a fantasy), and Voight was blind to the rules. And just like the song says, it’s all bound to blow up on Hailey sooner or later, like homemade dynamite.
4. “Sober ll”
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I feel like I don’t even need to explain my thought process behind this one. Trauma, melodrama, gun fights, terror, horror. ALL OF THESE are key words for what Hailey’s been through and will CONTINUE to go through. “They’ll talk about us, and discover // How we kissed and killed each other” is also applicable to the synopsis about how the FBI is potentially getting involved in discerning what happened to Roy. If they do, it could launch an investigation into the entire unit which could uncover a lot— “kisses each other” being the relationship drama that happens within the unit and “killed each other” being what happened with Roy and Voight’s general track record of murdering criminals and covering it up.
5. “Writer In The Dark”
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Ok this first line is pretty much the entire reason I put this section of the song into this post. “I am my mother’s child, I’ll love you ‘til my breathing stops” is very strongly representative of Hailey’s past. She was raised in a household where her mother loved an abusive man and continued to love him even through the abuse of her and her children. It’s traumatizing, sure, but it also explains why Hailey’s reaction to shooting Roy was to go home and propose to Jay. She gets that loyalty from her mother, to the point where she could even stay in situations that hurt her (like refusing to leave Voight in the warehouse). But Jay doesn’t hurt her, he loves her unconditionally too which is why Hailey would love him until her breathing stops— or until, as it proceeds to say, “‘til you call the cops on me”, which is applicable in a much more literal sense.
6. “Supercut”
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Supercut is probably my personal favourite of Lorde’s songs. The buildup is beautiful and the come-down is slow and gradual. It’s the epitome of pop in my opinion. But Hailey most definitely plays that moment over in her head and in her head, she would have done the right thing that night. And maybe she’s hoping the unit (Jay especially) will forgive her for shooting Roy instead of letting it cause a fight. This whole song is about replaying moments of a relationship in your head and changing the scenario so that it plays out as if you did everything right. You won’t always do everything right though, because we’re human and make mistakes, but it’s more than plausible that Hailey’s trying to capture that feeling.
7. Liability (Reprise)
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Last but not least, we’ve got the reprise for Liability! This one’s a little more generic because it’s just the general vibe of the song that fits Hailey and this PD angst so well but honestly “And all of the shit that we harbour // Make all the kids in the choir sing, “Woo-hoo” is very applicable to Hailey because she’s got a lot of baggage going into this new season. “And maybe all this is the party // Maybe we just do it violently” is another line that fits her situation so well. In addition, since Liability is one of the last songs on this album the outro of the song is almost like the absolute rock bottom reached in the journey the album tells. It could easily be compared to if/when Jay finds out about what Hailey did. (Seriously, just imagine Jay saying “you’re not what you thought you were” to Hailey and tell me that wouldn’t make you cry! In a good way OR a bad way!)
Anyway, IN CONCLUSION: Melodrama is a twisted, heartbreaking album that fits into Hailey Upton’s upcoming journey in season 9 with the Roy storyline PERFECTLY! If you have time to listen to the album— or at least the songs I mentioned— then please do because it’s SO worth it. But until then, we’re going to be in for quite the angsty ride this season when it comes to Chicago PD and personally, I can’t wait to see what they do with it!
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~ Douxie is a lowly street urchin. He's the lowest class you can get and he's barely considered a person none the less a commoner. He has no place being near the castle or being offered by the Merlin to learn magic at the side of Morgana. He doesn't fit into the world of Nobility surrounding Camelot or the Royal Court. And yet as Merlin puts his hand on the young boys shoulder leading him to the castle as he holds a sleeping Archie close, Douxies never felt more at home.
~ When Douxie meets you it's love at first sight. You just looked so healthy and clean and kind. Almost angelic. With rosy cheeks and a bright smile he couldn't help but stare at you as your mom talked to Merlin about something. You were in the most beautiful clothes he'd ever seen and your hair was recently brushed and done. He swallows trying to find his words but you don't seem to mind as you fill the silence with your sweet voice. Archie stirs in his arms and as you leave with your mom waving a goodbye Archie gives him a knowing look as Merlin smacks his head.
~ "Absolutely not Hisirdoux." Merlin is firm on that point. Douxie is allowed many freedoms now that he lives in the castle but there are also many new rules. One of them is that he apprentally is not to talk with the Nobel he met his first day as Merlins apprentice. Or any Nobles he meets unless he is with Merlin and they address him first. His rank may be higher now that he is Merlins apprentice but it will never be high enough to truly intrest someone of your stature or decorum. At least that's what Merlin tells him.
~ So of course he may not be able to "talk" to you but Archie can. So the ten year old Douxie comes up with a plan! While he's working besides Merlin he sends Archie off too learn more about you. The familiar seeing Douxies interest in you is quit keen on gaining knowledge for his young master. So the cat sneaks off to ask you some questions.
~ Your alone in your room studying when he finds you. You're reading and when he appears your eager to pet him. I mean he is a small fluffy cat. However when he speaks you seem hesitant to talk back at first, afraid that a fae is tricking you or you might get cursed. But a talking cat is so exciting and he seems very well mannered so you end up answering all his questions in exhange for some of your own. When Archie comes back that night Douxie learns everything about you Archie had learned. Apprentally you're the child of a Dutchess or perhaps a distant cousin of King Arthur but whoever you are Archie confirms you're way out of Douxies league. That in no way stops them however.
~ Merlin said Douxie is not to court you. But he isn't intrested in marriage (yet) he only wants your hand in friendship. After all your his age and you live in the castle and you seem super nice. He may be a middle class mage but he does live in the castle which means little Douxie often has free riegn of it. He's worried about guards spotting him near your room so he sends Archie too you with questions he has. Sometimes he's brave and he'll catch glimpses of you throughout the castle. He always gets a dopey smile on his face after he's seen you.
~ One day as he sits at his desk looking at the window waiting for Archie to come and tell him more about you he gets a surprise. His face lights up seeing his familiar and he notices something in the cats mouth. Archie smiles as he hands over a letter.
'Hisirdoux I've heard a lot about you from your familiar. Archie says you should give him more treats for his troubles and I agree he's a good cat who often visits me when I am lonely.
My name is (Y/N) and although we haven't formally met and talked alone I remember you. Merlins apprentice learning magic! That must be so exciting! Much better than my dull tasks in the court! I am always with escort or guard or parent otherwise I assure you we would've met and talked again. I often catch you in the corner of my eye and it always bring a smile to my face. You seem very kind and many of my friends sadly are not. So I have come up with a plan. For now I can not meet you in person but someday soon I will find a way.
Until then lets write letters. It'll be an adventure.
- Love (Y/N)
~ Archie doesn't mind being a messanger. He finds your friendship with Doxuie endearing and soon comes to care for you as much as the boy. Douxie immediately gets excited at the idea of writing you a letter and responds as soon as he finsihes reading yours.
~ Dear (Y/N),
Merlin said I'm not supposed to talk to you but he never said I couldn't write too you! You're brilliant for thinking of this and I don't listen to everything he says anyways. Merlin is a great teacher and I am grateful to him but he is also a hard enforcer. Learning magic under him is difficult and I do a lot more cleaning than actual magic.
But that's okay! I enjoy working under him. What must your life be like I wonder? A Royal in the Court? What do you do? What are you Royal duties? I mostly mop, sweep, and write endless hours of boring homework nothing exciting like this!
P.S I gave Archie lots of pets and treats just like you asked!
- Your friend Hisirdoux Casperan
~ Soon starts a game of back and forth. Every night or every other night you write letters to him and he writes back. You exchange smiles in the hall and nod at each other in passing. It's the biggest secret either of you have ever had and sometimes it takes everything not to giggle at the sight of each other. You may not be able to hang out properly but as you begin to get to know each other more intimately Hisirdoux takes more risks too see you and you in turn do the same.
~ A year goes by and Douxie starts adding in small things to your letters. He loves giving you little gifts and trying to catch a reaction in the hallway, as dangerous as it might be, he loves seeing your smile whenever you receive something. Pressed flowers, poetry he read in old books, and knick nacks he found in town being some of his favorites to give you. In turn you give him sweets, books you like to read, small sketches, interesting facts from your studies, pretty crystals, and anything else you think he'll enjoy.
~ As teenager's Archie had been your letterman for years. Acting as a middle ground since it was almost impossible to meet alone. You and Hisirdoux had become closer despite not being able to meet in person much and as you both were given more freedom as you got older you found ways to meet and talk, Archie acting as a look out as you snuck moments alone.
~ You both find out the castle has secret passages throughout the walls when your about 13. Douxie and you are now able to meet in secret and have free reign of the castle at night when everyone is asleep. Some nights you both sneak into the kitchens stealing tarts and other sweets, other nights you spend in the library reading together into the early hours of the morning, and other nights are spent wandering the castle learning all it's secrets. Sometimes you even sneak to the roof or observatory and stare out at the stars talking about your dreams and what you wish to be and do.
~ As he becomes better at music he finds himself sitting beneath your rooms balcony or practicing outside your room so you can hear his music. You only encourage his craft and your encouragement makes his heart soar. He loves singing silly ballads to you and has even snuck in some romantic lyrics.
~ He loves showing off his magic. He's so proud of his craft and he's proud of how your eyes light up when you watch him do a spell. He enjoys watching your reactions as he casts his latest mark and often does spells he probably shouldn't to try and impress you. His favorite trick is summoning a flower and tucking it behind your ear. Your blush is always so pretty as he places it for you.
~ He sneaks into your library or places you go throughout the day to leave you things to find. Pressed flowers became a common occurrence in your books, or bits of a song he'd wrote slip into your school notes. Sometimes drawings and other small assorted things will appear through out the day as you do your duties as well. Unknown to Casperan you keep everything he gives you in a box under your bed in your room. All the letters he's written to you are safely tucked away in a large hollow book you made.
~ It becomes easier for him to sneak into your room or you to sneak into his as you get older. There are secret tunnels in the castle walls you use to meet up.
~ As you grow older you know your hand will soon be given to some other Nobel family but you dream of a life with Douxie. One where you could be yourself and you could live a life of love, magic, and adventure. He made you happy and although it wasn't practical you often daydreamed of running away together or becoming a mage yourself just so you could marry him.
~ One night when Archie goes to check up on you and say goodnight he runs back to Hisirdoux worried. Apprentally the ball of furr had heard you crying and ran back to tell young Casperan. He of course ran to your room doing his best not to be seen. You were waiting for Archie to come say goodnight but you'd fallen asleep and then woken from a terrible nightmare. Your door opens and looking up you sniffle and stare at Casperan with scared eyes. He lays next to you and you lean against him closing your eyes and taking in his comfort. Holding you close he uses his magic to play you a song staying with you until you drift asleep.
~ You're both more than friends. You both know it but neither of you have admitted it. The Royal Court would never allow you to love each other. You could never be married officially and eventually you'd be forced into a loveless life with someone else. However tension is rising in Camelot and things are changing. Magic may soon be banned and with it Douxies passion. You're idea to run away becomes more and more appealing as the world around you slowly dissolves into choas.
~ One night while everyone was asleep you sneak into his room. Shaking him awake you put a finger to your mouth and drag the sleepy boy to the stables. Under the moonlight you both ride out of Camelot to spend one night together. One night where you can just be who you both are. You explain your plan. What you should do and although Douxie does not want to leave he agrees it's unsafe.
~ You pack. You know you can't take much but you've arranged for a carriage with two horses so you and Douxie can at least start with something. All your jewellery and valuables along with pouches full of gold, silver, and copper from the Royal Treasury are put into a large satchel you hide under your bed. You pack a few of your least fancy dresses and steal pants from the stable boy. All of your favorite books, drawing supplies, and poems are shoved into a different satchel. You hide the hollow book of letters and all the gifts Hisirdoux wrote you in the stable and you prepare to leave.
~ Packing the carriage late at night under the stars Douxie and Archie meet you. Douxie has a satchel full of potions, a purse full of magic scrolls and books no one will miss, the letters you wrote him, and his lute. He also grabbed dried meat from the kitchen, biscuits, and canteens of water.
"Love are you sure?" He's so tender so soft and so full of love. You know this is meant to be.
"Without you Douxie life is not worth living. You love me not for my riches. Not for looks. Not for my status but for me. No matter what happens I love you."
~ That's all Douxie needs to hear before he takes the reigns and you both leave. Fleeing your life from Camelot and going on a new adventure. One of adventure, magic, and love. You know things will never be the same but that's alright. You have him, he has you, and you both had Archie. As you flee under the stars avoiding trolls and traveling several towns over you know this is meant to be.
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(Comments and feedback appreciated :D)
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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years
Text
The Writing Game ~ KNJ [Request]
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↬↬↬Word Count: 3.3K
↬↬↬Pairing: Namjoon x Fem!Reader
↬↬↬Genre: Producer AU, fluffy, cute, first kiss, first I love you, confessions
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"Are you willing to put money on that?" That's all you'd heard when you walked into the lounge in the BigHit building that night, it had been a super long day and you were ready to sleep but you'd heard Jimin first and wondered what he was talking about. Your eyes left your phone to see Jimin, Jungkook and Namjoon all staring at one another,
"Are you placing bets on Jin and his girlfriend again?" They'd been placing bets on how long it would take for Jin or his girlfriend to call off the wedding that they had been planning for months, your hand came into contact with the back of Jimin's head and Jungkook ducked so you couldn't get to him. 
"No! We're betting on something else." You smirked dropping down between Jimin and Jungkook, 
"Let's hear it then," You waited for a response but it was clear none of them were going to tell you what it was so you got up from the seat and walked over to Namjoon. He had been one of your best friends at BigHit, you'd been writing and producing music with him for years. 
"Joonie, what is it they're doing?" You put out your bottom lip putting on the sweetest act you could while trailing your hands over his shoulders. 
"T-They're placing bets on who could make the best song for the album." Jimin frowned hearing Namjoon stutter, he had no idea that you had that effect on his leader but now he'd seen it he wanted to see it again. 
"We know you're the best team but when we put our heads together, we're better." You scoffed at Jimin's comment rubbing Namjoon's shoulders, you had no idea the things you did to Namjoon. He'd had a huge crush on you when you first started working there but he never did anything about it because of the company rules. ''No dating other staff members'' It was a simple rule to follow but not for Namjoon, he felt himself falling harder for you every day you spent time together.
"That's the biggest lie, me and Namjoon could kick your ass with our eyes closed." You scoffed moving away from Namjoon and sitting back down with the boys, Jimin smirked. It was going to be easier than ever to make you work together so closely. Namjoon caught on pretty quick to what Jimin was hinting at, 
"Jimin we're busy Y/n doesn't want to bother herself-"
"Sure I do, Namjoon we're the best and we'll win in no time." Your confidence was boosting any other time Namjoon would have jumped at the chance but he could tell there was a catch from Jimin coming,
"We have until Friday to finish a song each and then we'll present it to Bang PD at the end of the week." Jimin clapped his hands together before Namjoon could even say no you were already shaking on it and writing up the rules to make sure there would be no cheating going on. 
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"Namjoon come on, we've worked on things together a million times I thought it would be fun...Are you mad at me?" The thought of Namjoon being mad at you made your heart hurt, he'd always been one of your many inspirations at work and also the guy you'd been madly in love with for the last six years....No one was ever going to know that though, not when you could hide your love for him in songs that he and the boys would sing to. 
"I'm not mad I'm just tired Y/n," You could tell by the tone of his voice it wasn't true, that he was clearly mad about something but wasn't about to sit and tell you all of his problems. 
"Then let's call it a night, we've been here all day and we both know we can write a banger in a couple of days anyway." It was true, you'd done it before. Writing hit songs with Namjoon by your side was one of the easiest things, you could bounce ideas off one another easily, nothing was ever off-limits to talk, rap or sing about together.
"Why don't we use one of our drafts and just say we wrote it?" He grumbled at you, he didn't want to be sat in a room with you all week, having his emotions run high whenever you sat close to him or smiled at him. His eyes landed on your face and he saw you tearing up, he instantly realised how much of a dick he was sounding and he felt bad,
"It's not that I don't want to Y/n it's just-"
"It's whatever, just tell Jimin we lose." He took hold of your wrist promising you that he would take it seriously tomorrow after he'd gone home and gotten some rest. 
"Go home, get rested and come back tomorrow okay?" He questioned looking deep into your eyes he wanted to make sure he hadn't hurt your feelings, it was one of the last things he'd ever want to do.
"Sure." You smiled reassuringly at him and grabbed your car keys, 
"Do you want a ride back?" He shook his head at the question, he'd ridden his bike that morning so he would just ride that home instead. 
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Tuesday:
The whole morning you and Namjoon had been sat in his studio trying to decide if it was going to be a classic love song or if he wanted to do something completely different. Deciding that both of you wanted to write about love,
"Who do you think about when you're writing?" You questioned looking away from your piece of paper, you had pages full of small lyrical paragraphs all about the guy sitting right across from you on the sofa inside of his office. You had your legs resting against his while he had his resting against the sofa hiding the pad from you which, much like yours, was covered in small paragraphs about you.
"Just someone I hold dear, you?" You looked down at the page, you don't know why you'd expected him to say you. You'd always hoped he liked you but as the years went by you realised there was nothing there between you except friendship. 
"Same really," He frowned looking at you, you were scribbling things down like crazy and you had the look of sadness across your face. 
"Did they hurt you?" You laughed softly, you felt pathetic telling him all of this since it was him you were truly talking about. 
"No, he doesn't even know I like him." His hands clutched onto the pen he was holding, you liked someone- You loved someone? He wasn't angry with you he was angry at whoever was taking you away from him...Not that you were his but someone else held you close to them and hurt you with it. 
"Why don't you tell him?" You scoffed loudly and started laughing at the statement almost forgetting that it was him you were talking about, 
"He's not interested in me like that, I just need to deal with it and move on." Namjoon nodded along to what you were saying feeling slightly hopeful that you were willing to move on from whoever was hurting you like this,
"What if we channelled that?" You frowned not following along with what he was asking of you, 
"Wrote a song about moving on? Or feeling heartbreak?" You nodded a little trying to think of ways you could work it out, you didn't want to move on from Namjoon but getting the feelings of your heart being broken up would help a little, it was a genre of song you weren't exactly good in though. 
"I've never tried heartbreak songs-"
"I'll help," He rushed his sentence a little too much but he was desperate to help you move on, he didn't like seeing you hurt he wanted to do something he knew would help, channelling emotions helped him and he knew for a fact that he helped you a lot as well. 
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Wednesday: 
The whole Tuesday was spent writing lyrics together while Namjoon went onto the piano, you were going to have a slow song. Heartbreak was meant to be about channelling all of your emotions and effort into the one song and feeling each lyric that you were going to be singing. Namjoon had decided to add a small rap into the song as a verse, writing about how he felt about you. All of the heartbreak he felt around you and how he could never be with you, how you could never truly be his when you were in love with someone else. Today had been a long day and you hadn't had time to come and produce some of the song with Namjoon. You were supposed to be working on it together but he knew how busy you got when you came into work. It wasn't just BTS that you worked with, you worked with a lot of the other groups in the building along with your own work that you never let anyone see or hear.
"I've been with Soobin and the boys all day I'm sorry." You said to Namjoon when you saw him coming out of his office, he shook his head promising you that it was fine but it didn't feel fine to you, 
"I finished putting the backing onto a track it's fine-"
"No, Namjoon we're supposed to work together." He placed his hand on your wrist, he knew for a fact that you had been in the big hit building from 5 am that morning because he'd checked the staff sign-in sheet when he came in. You were always pulling those, coming in super early and not leaving until really late, Namjoon hated that you pushed yourself like this but he also adored how dedicated to it you were that you were willing to do all of the overtime if it meant it would pay off. 
"Go home, we're done for the day I promise." You nodded along not planning on listening to him,
"Want a ride?" You asked you knew for a fact that he didn't need one because you could see the keys to his bike lock in his hand and the helmet in his bag 
"No I'm okay, come on." You walked towards the elevator together you were trying to act a though you were really going to leave and not come back into the building when you knew he wasn't going to be there. 
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The moment you knew Namjoon was gone you rushed back up to his studio, removing the spare key from your bag and making your way inside. Everything was still on his three monitors and you smiled walking over to them and sitting down in the huge chair he liked to use. You just wanted to hear what he had done with the track and then maybe improve on it a little, it had to be perfect since it was about him and he didn't even know it. You wanted it to sound so good that Jimin would cry the moment he heard you both singing on the track, you hit play and the song began to come in from the speakers. None of the singing you had recorded was there yet but the piano playing along to the tune you'd written was.
Clicking the space bar again you tried to pause it but somehow - even though you'd been using the system for years - it deleted the entire piano section, along with the singing piece you'd recorded for the song. 
"What?! No!" You yelled trying to undo it but the computer kept crashing the system, 
"Fuck he's going to kill me." You whimpered pulling up a new project and going to input the singing back on only to see that it was deleted from the entire system. Everything except for the piano which was within a different folder was gone. You were going to be in for a long night of rerecording the lyrics and the producing it all before you went home.
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Thursday:
Namjoon came in early that morning, he wanted to make sure you hadn't done what he thought you were going to do - sneak back inside and do some extra work. 
"You have a present in your studio," Jimin smirked as he came out of the elevator on the ground floor, JImin had walked in and saw you asleep wearing one of Namjoon's hoodies and a pair of leggings it must have been cold there last night. 
"What are you-" Namjoon cut himself short when he remembered that Jimin knew about the crush he had on you and was doing this to force Namjoon to face his feelings about it. 
"She's up there?" Jimin nodded frowning when he saw a look of annoyance spread across Namjoon's face, 
"What's wrong? I thought you liked Y/n?" Namjoon groaned trying to push his floor button but Jimin slapped his hand away wanting to get answers, 
"I do and you know that which is why you're doing this but I told her not to come in last night, she's exhausted Jimin." He pushed the younger boy out of his lift and waited for the doors to clothes. He couldn't help but think about how tired you must be since you'd been there possibly all day. 
Opening the door to his studio he was surprised to see you with your head resting on the table, he walked further into the room and sighed when he saw that you were asleep. 
"I told you not to come back in here," He whispered scooping you up from the chair being careful so that he wouldn't wake you up, you clearly needed the sleep if you were asleep at the desk. As he laid you down on his sofa you let out a moan before mumbling something and turning over, he smiled hearing you like that and went to get a blanket. He knew that you were in his hoodie, it was one of the favourites he owed and kept at the studio - truth be told he kept it there hoping that you would borrow it whenever you got too cold around him. 
"Namjoon-ah." You mumbled in your sleep as he laid the blanket over your body. You snuggled against it waking up but not opening your eyes. 
"You're cute when you're asleep," You heard him whisper, you kept your eyes shut trying not to flicker them or give any clue to the fact that you were now awake and listening to everything he was saying, 
"I wish I could tell you how I feel you know...Even if it wasn't for this whole staff members aren't allowed to date I don't think I could ever tell you." His hand pushed some hair out of your face but he smiled looking at you, 
"I don't think I'd have the confidence to tell you how I feel about you." Your heart clenched at the thought fo Namjoon having any kind of feelings about you, all of this time you'd thought he just saw you as nothing but an annoying sister or something.  
"Being in love with you has helped me write so many songs I think I could produce 16 albums all with 22 tracks each." He chuckled at himself before leaving a small kiss on your forehead, 
"Get some sleep darling," As soon as the door clicked your sat up and looked around the small office trying to gather your thoughts together. 
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Friday:
You went home Thursday without seeing Namjoon, you could see him while you were trying to process everything he had said to you, it was a lot. That he was in love with you and wasn't even planning on telling you? Now that you knew you had no idea what to do with yourself if you were supposed to face him knowing that the guy you loved loved you back. 
"Y/n?!" You dropped the bag you were carrying, you had been attempting to sneak into the lounge without being seen but Jimin was stood behind you wondering what you were doing. 
"What are you doing?" He questioned watching as you bent down to pick up the bag and stand up to him again, 
"I was going to wor-"
"You have presentations with Namjoon, we're about to show Bang PD the songs-"
"He finished it?!" You hadn't expected Namjoon to do all of the work so you followed along with Jimin towards one of the conference rooms. They were really taking this seriously, the conference rooms weren't normally available to you or any of the boys for that matter.
"Nice of you to join us," Jungkook smirked at you - standing at the front of the conference room getting ready to show their boss their work. PD smiled at you as you bowed to him before sitting down on a chair next to Namjoon. 
"You finished it without me?" You whispered looking at him, he was avoiding looking at you but he nodded watching Jimin and Jungkook as they explained what their song was about and began playing it. It was a great song and something that they were used to writing about, 
"Namjoon." PD said pointing at you both, you both got up and began explaining the meanings behind it all. 
"We decided to go for a heartbreak song, Y/n did the main vocals and I added a rap in for a verse." The music began to play and instantly you felt insecure, the night you'd spent recording came rushing back to you as you poured every emotion you felt for Namjoon into each lyric. 
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"I think it's clear who the winner is," Bang PD said as he looked over at Jimin and Jungkook who were now crying together, he slid a box of tissues over to them and turned to look at you. 
"I can see I made a big mistake hiring you though Miss Y/l/n." Your heart fell out of your chest hitting the floor and smashing into a million pieces, 
"I should have signed you, your voice is incredible." Namjoon held onto you as you stumbled backwards a little bit.
"We will be talking soon, I have another meeting." You nodded and watched as he walked out of the room as if he hadn't just proposed hiring you to be one of his employees instead of someone that worked behind the scenes. 
"Y/n! That's incredible news!" Namjoon screamed you jumped up and down turning around and throwing your arms around him wanting to celebrate. 
"Namjoon-ah!" You giggled pulling away from him slowly but you locked eyes. After that it was like there was no one else in the room with you, Jimin and Jungkook weren't sitting there staring at you anymore you were just looking at one another.
"What?" Namjoon asked as you turned your head to the side, he frowned wondering what you were doing. His heart was racing having you this close to his face but he wasn't about to push you away. 
"I love you too." You whispered before smashing your lips against his. His eyes widened as he heard you say the four words he'd been dying to hear but as soon as he came to reality his eyes fluttered shut. Wrapping his arms around your waist he drew you closer to him wanting to keep this kiss going for as long as possible, he was too afraid he would wake up and it would have all bee some kind of ultra-realistic dream he was having about it. 
"We...We're just going to leave." Jimin cleared his throat but neither of you heard him and Jungkook getting up and leaving the room together, you were too busy getting lost in your own worlds to bother with them.
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Tagline: 
@writingdreamsnottragedies @snowy-meowl @jooniesdarlingdimples @lynnthevirgo @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @callingmyangel @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie​ @innersooya​ 
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karasuno-writings · 4 years
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Yo. I'm new to your blog, so I'll try my best to be appreciative and polite to you. Doing this gotta be hard. So, I ain't gonna act like you inhuman. This is your work, and its darn good. You got support for that. Anyway, I hope this ain't a weird request. Decline if your wanna, no hard feelings. How about headcanons with Tsukishima, Hinata, Iwaizumi, Kuroo, and Kenma. Them having a sleepover with their s/o, and they put their head in their lap, and sing to them? Is that confusing, or too many?
Ah thank you so so much for your kind words, I’m really thankful of how thoughtful you are! It is a perfect request and a very wholesome one honestly!! Yes I loved this and don’t worry it was just right! Thank you so so much again!
And thank you all who helped yesterday, I am sorry if it was bothersome for me to make my breakdown public but honestly?? It was all of you who made me feel better. Special thanks to @normiewrites @bakupecs @leiawriteshaikyuu @oyaoyaoyoya @wolfishwriting and @a-q-rp  (If you guys don’t want to be tagged just tell ma and sorry about that!) but if you wrote to me I really appreciate it, thank you all so much. 
Tsukishima
You went to his house due to a storm that hit Miyagi late at night after a date the two of you had. Considering you were close to his home that is where the two of you rushed towards. At arrival you were soaking, and he definitely could not let you go home while it was dark and pouring, so he suggested for you to stay the night.
Of course you agreed, so he handed you some pajamas and let you take a hot shower, how horribly irresponsible of him would it be to leave you freeze and catch a cold after all.
Depending on your size you either wore the full set or you found the pants to be too big but just the shirt perfect. Either way they were Dinosaur print pajamas, and he was blushing when you came out of the bathroom. 
He was wearing pajamas with a shark on the shirt, and looked way too cute for the frown that he has as a cover up for his slightly pink cheeks. 
His gaze softens quick enough though, the two of you have been dating for a long time and he trusts you, he didn’t feel vulnerable as he thought he would, that was the biggest relief.
It was early enough so the two of you sat down to watch a movie, his pick was interstellar, and you didn’t complain so it was set. 
15 minutes into the movie he pressed his lips on top of your head silently, your hair still wet from the shower, he could smell his shampoo which he immediately thought suited you, it felt so personal. 
That’s what made him shift so your head rest on his lap. You were clearly confused by his actions but complied to rest your head on his legs, pleased at the affection that he was only prone to show in private.
Your wet hair was fresh to the touch and soft in his hands, so he absentmindedly ran his fingers through it, dividing stands and twisting strands, all while immersed in the movie. 
Halfway through while being fully immersed, half conscious of what he was doing he started humming softly
You did not say anything as you knew better, but it however felt so heartfelt? It was truly a precious moment between the two of you.
Ever since that moment it is an unspoken habit between the two of you
He does it often, however it’s only late at night and while the two of you are enjoying quality time silently.
Hinata
He invited you over to his house for no real reason, he just wanted to spend more time with you and he thought it would be a nice “date”. So once you were at his house the first thing the two of you did was make a pillow fort
It was pretty big as you sat inside with your laptop playing some background music as you were just chatting it up. However he wanted to be closer to you so he just shuffled over. 
Once next to you he grabbed your head and placed it on his lap, probably a little on the harsher side because of his excitement. “Let me play with your hair Y/N it just smells so good!” 
As you nodded and chuckled he began untangling it and running his fingers through it. He either plays with it making small braids that he learned to do thanks to Natsu if it is long enough, or just gush about how nice it feels if it is short. 
He is talking to you about all his aspirations and you know volleyball until a song comes into his head, and he just kinda starts drifting away and starts singing it to you
He is smiling the whole time as he sings, brushing his fingers over your hair and taking loose strands off your face while looking into your eyes.
He smiles when he is done singing and he just silently plays with your hair for a few moments, he is very talkative but the moments of shared silence are so genuine and he is just admiring you
He started lowkey crying because he loves you so much, when you notice and ask he just hugs you and tells you that he just can’t believe he has you???
He is such an angel, this started happening frequently ever since, like whenever you are on a date in a more chill plan like staying at home he is very much singing to you while stroking your hair 
Please do it for him too, if you sing to him he will sing along with you and honestly karaoke duets happen very often between the two of you 
Iwaizumi
The first time you stayed over was because he had just lost a pretty important match and you wanted to support him. He really appreciate the offer and the fact that it was your idea was so much better, he just wanted to take his head out of the game. 
When he saw you wearing pajamas he had this adorable blush on because honestly you looked great. He usually sleeps in boxers but he is a gentleman so he had some comfortable shorts on. 
You both were chilling on his couch, this was after all a plan the came up out of the blue, so you were eating snacks while watching your favorite series. His arm was draped around you in a really lazy way, and his rough fingertips brushing your arm tenderly. 
As you watched the last chapter together he felt  you getting heavier against his chest and he looked at you, confirming that you were indeed asleep. 
He started at you for a few moments, you looked so soft with you eyes closed, he didn’t want to disturb you so he panicked for at least five seconds.
After that he relaxed and very carefully help you lie down on the couch, resting your head on his lap.
He pressed a kiss to you forehead and changed the finale so you would not miss it, and put on an animated film because he is a sucker for them.
He loved your hair so he began playing with it, knowing it would help you relax, he almost does it as a scalp massage, he is so good as helping you relieve stress. He was tender but rough, pretty much like he is with most things. 
You woke up slightly to hear him singing, he was not singing along to anything particularly, he just felt so at calm with you sleeping on his lap. 
You did not stir until he finished singing, that is when he noticed you were awake once more. The blood rushed straight up to his cheeks after that, he was very embarrassed.
That is until you pressed a soft kiss on his lips as you shuffled to look at him. His hands found their way to you back and he was smiling onto your lips. He just loves you so much.
He does it often, but the singing is a rare occurrence 
Kenma 
Neither of you planned the sleepover, however when the two of you decided to take a break from playing you discovered that it was incredibly late, so he asked you to stay the night.
He had this small smile as he said it, he liked the idea of getting to spend more time with you, specially if it meant he got to cuddle you
He lent you some pajamas or comfy clothes of his, he liked when you wore his clothing, it was a small gesture of what you meant to him. He is a firm believer that to date you just need a really deep friendship so he likes those small details that give off they you are indeed dating. 
The two of you had been playing games but now he just wanted to watch you play, so the two of you sat on the floor, his legs wrapped around you as he rest his chin on your shoulder, his arms loosely wrapped around you as he held his gaze on the game. 
It was late at night, the two of you had watched a movie and played some board games, he is unsurprisingly good at them, and now you were laying on his bed, head on his lap. 
The two of you were quiet as his hands found his way onto your hair, he then started playing with it, soft fingers meticulously dividing strands and tenderly running up and down your hair. 
He then started humming, a soft and almost ethereal tune,  as his eyes become droopy and his hands touched your hair carefully.
He has a beautiful singing voice, he however will not sing often, just in these precious moments.
Like that the both of you drifted asleep, only shifting almost in the morning, as you snuggled up to him. 
Kuroo
It started as a study date, the two of you knew exams were approaching so it always helped to study together, however when you suggested staying over this boy was ecstatic. 
When you arrived the two of you did study, long enough to get worn out. The second he saw you stress he decided to call it quits. He had prepared everything for this moment, from the movie the two of you would watch to the games you were to play.
When the two of you went to put on you pajamas he just smirked and mocked you, you just looked adorable and he honestly didn’t know how else to cope.
This dork lay blankets on the floor and pillows surrounding it, for the two of you to be comfortable so he literally lift you up and lay you down on the little place he had set up. He was about to put the movie but he got really caught up with talking to you and joking around to make you relax.
Then the two of you decided to actually watch the movie, some disney movie you had always loved, and before you could make yourself comfortable he was behind you, softly laying your head on his legs.
His hands quickly found their way to your hair he loved to play with it as a side distraction from the movie, and knowing it was something you liked made it all better. 
He sang along to every single song in the movie and honestly he played with you hair almost the entirety of it, you ended up very relaxed and his he now smelled like you, he was really happy about it. 
If you sing with him he will be beyond happy, making voices for different characters and all.  
However after it ended the two of you remained there, and as he saw you he smirked and sang you a song very dear to him, it was soft and honestly he just appreciated that he could spend this moments with you. 
You closed your eyes because it felt really good and just before you opened them he kissed you softly, smiling lightly. He was happy he took you by surprise. 
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gayenerd · 3 years
Text
I just realized I didn’t post that 2007 Rolling Stone article I posted about here. 
Billie Joe Armstrong
The Green Day leader talks Bush, Britney and being a middle-aged punk for our 40th anniversary.
DAVID FRICKE
Posted Nov 01, 2007 8:19 AM
You have two young sons. What kind of America will they inherit?
This war has to finish before something new blossoms. There's no draft — that's why none of the kids give a shit. They'd rather watch videos on YouTube. It's hard to tell what's next — there is so much information out there with no power to it. Everything is in transition, including our government. Next year, it's someone else in the White House. There's no way to define anything. It's Generation Zero. But you gotta start at zero to get to something.
Is there anyone now running for president who gives you hope for the future?
Barack Obama, but it's a bit early to tell if this is the guy I like. I get sick of the religious-figure thing. People don't question their rulers, these political figures, just as they don't question their ministers and priests. They're not going to question George Bush, especially if he goes around talking about God — "I'm going to let God decide this for me. He's going to give me the answer." The fear of God keeps people silent.
When did you first vote in a presidential election?
In 1992. I was twenty. I voted for Clinton.
Did you feel like you made a difference?
Yeah. The Eighties sucked. There was so much bullshit that went along with that decade. I felt like Clinton was a fresh face with fresh ideas. There were times when he was dropping bombs, and I'm thinking, "What the fuck are you doing?" But he became a target. We have this puritanical vision of what a leader is supposed to be, and that's what makes us the biggest hypocrites in the world. We got so inside this guy's sexual habits. Now we have a president going around, killing in the name of what? In the name of nothing.
What did you accomplish with your 2004 anti-Bush album, "American Idiot"? He was re-elected anyway, and the war in Iraq is still going on.
I found a voice. There may have been people disenfranchised by it. People have a hard time with that kind of writing: "Why are you preaching to me?" It does sound preachy, a bit. I'm a musician, and I want to say positive things. If it's about self-indulgent depression or overthrowing the government, it's gotta come from my heart. And when you say "Fuck George W. Bush" in a packed arena in Texas, that's an accomplishment, because you're saying it to the unconverted.
Do you think selling nearly 6 million copies of that album might have an effect on the 2008 election? A kid who bought it at fifteen will be voting age next year.
I hope so. I made it to give people a reason to think for themselves. It was supposed to be a catalyst. Maybe that's one reason why it's difficult for me to write about politics now. A lot of things on that record are still relevant. It's like we have this monarchy in politics — the passing of the baton between the Clintons and the Bushes. That's frightening. What needs to happen is a complete change, a person coming from the outside with a new perspective on all the fucked-up problems we have.
How would you describe the state of pop culture?
People want blood. They want to see other people thrown to the lions. Do audiences want rock stars? I can't tell. You have information coming at you from so many areas — YouTube, the Internet, tabloids. Watching Britney Spears the other night [on the MTV Video Music Awards] was like watching a public execution. How could the people at MTV, the people around her, not know this girl was fucked up? People came in expecting a train wreck, and they got more than they bargained for.
She was a willing conspirator. She didn't say no.
She is a manufactured child. She has come up through this Disney perspective, thinking that all life is about is to be the most ridiculous star you could be. But it's also about what we look at as entertainment — watching somebody go through that.
How do you decide what your children can see on TV or the Internet? As a dad, even a punk-rock dad, that can make you conservative in your choices.
I want to protect them from garbage. It's not necessarily the sex and drugs. It's bad drugs and bad sex, the violence you see on television and in the news. I want to protect them from being desensitized. I want them to realize this is real life, not a video game.
The main thing I want them to have is a good education, because that's something I never had. Get smart. Educate yourself as much as you can, and get as much out of it, even if the teacher is an asshole.
Do you regret dropping out of high school?
Life in high school sucks. I bucked the system. I also got lucky. My wife has a degree in sociology, and there are conversations she has — I don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about. College — I could have learned from that.
But I was the last of six kids. At that point, my mother was fifty-eight, and she threw up her hands — "I'm through with this parenting thing." Also, I could not handle authority figures. But I wouldn't say I'm an authority figure for my kids. I provide guidelines, not rules.
What is it like being a middle-aged punk? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?
It's about the energy you bring with you, the pulse inside your head. I want to get older. I don't want to be twenty-one again. Screw that. My twenties were a difficult time — where my band was at, getting married, having a child. I remember walking out of a gig in Chicago, past these screaming kids. There were these punks, real ones, sitting outside our tour bus. One girl had a forty-ouncer, and she goes, "Billie Joe, come drink with us." I said, "I can't, I've got my family on the bus." She goes, "Well, fuck you then." I get on the bus, and my wife says, "Did that bitch just tell you to fuck off? I'm gonna kick her ass right now." I'm holding her back, while my child is naked, jumping on the couch: "Hi, Daddy!" That was my whole life right there — screaming kids, punks telling me to fuck off, my wife getting pissed, my naked son waiting to get into his pajamas.
There's nothing wrong with being twenty-one. It's the lessons you learn. At thirty, you think, "Why did I worry so much about this shit?" When I hit forty, I'll say the same thing: "Why did I worry about this shit in my thirties?"
What have you learned about yourself?
There is more to life than trying to find your way through self-destruction or throwing yourself into the fire all the time. Nihilism in punk rock can be a cliché. I need to give myself more room to breathe, to allow my thoughts to catch up with the rest of me.
Before Dookie, I wasn't married and I didn't have kids. I had a guitar, a bag of clothes and a four-track recorder. There are ways you don't want to change. You don't want to lose your spark. But I need silence more than I did before. I need to get away from the static and noise, whereas before, I thrived on it.
Are you ready for the end of the music business? The technology and its effect on sales have changed dramatically since Green Days' debut EP — on vinyl — in 1989.
Technology now and the way people put out records — everything comes at you so fast, you don't know what you're investigating. You can't identify with it — at least I can't. With American Idiot, we made a conscious effort to give people an experience they could remember for the rest of their lives. It wasn't just the content. It was the artwork, the three acts — the way you could read it all like someone's story.
Is music simply not important to young people now the way it was to you as a kid?
People get addicted to garbage they don't need. At shows, they gotta talk on their phones to their friend who's in the next aisle. I was watching this documentary on Jeff Tweedy of Wilco [Sunken Treasure]. He was playing acoustic, and he ends up screaming at the audience: "Your fucking conversation can wait. I'm up here singing a song — get involved." He wasn't being an asshole. He was like, "Leave your bullshit behind. Let's celebrate what's happening now."
We need music, and we need it good. I took it very seriously. There's a side of me where music will always send chills up my spine, make me cry, make me want to get up and do Pete Townshend windmills. In a lot of ways, I was in a minority when I was young. There are people who go, "Oh, that's a snappy tune." I listen to it and go, "That's the greatest fucking song ever. That is the song I want played at my funeral."
Now that you've brought it up, what song do you want played at your funeral?
It keeps changing. "Life on Mars?" by David Bowie. "In My Life," by the Beatles. "Love," by John Lennon.
Those are all reflective ballads, not punk.
I disagree. They are all honest in their reflection. The punk bands I liked were the ones who didn't fall into clichés — the Clash, the Ramones. The Ramones wrote beautiful love songs. They also invented punk rock. I'd have to add "Blitzkrieg Bop" to the list.
What is the future of punk rock? Will it still be a voice of rebellion in twenty years?
It's categorized in so many different ways. You've got the MySpace punks. But there is always the subculture of it — the rats in the walls, pounding the pavement and booking their own live shows. It comes down to the people who are willing to do something different from everybody else.
You are in a different, platinum-album world now. What makes you so sure that spirit survives?
I'm going on faith — because I was there. Gilman Street [the Berkeley, California, club where Green Day played early shows] is still around. And that's a hard task, because there is no bar — it's a nonprofit cooperative. It's like a commune — this feeling of bucking the system together, surviving and thriving on art. Punk, as an underground, pushes for the generation gap. As soon as you're twenty-five years old, there's a group of sixteen-year-olds coming to kick your ass. And you have to pass the torch on. It's a trip to have seen it happen so many times. It gives me goose bumps — punk is something that survives on its own.
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writerofthecourt · 4 years
Text
fuyu no hanashi
pairing: semi eita x reader
summary: semi sings a song dedicated to you. a story of loss, anguish, and regrets
warning: slight time skip spoilers, character death, grief and mourning, subtle reference to alcoholism
a/n: i’ve been wanting to write something like this for a very long time, and i’m really happy with how it turned out. this story was inspired by the anime/manga given, specifically a scene from episode 9 of the anime. here’s the particular scene that i’m referencing (beware, the clip does contain plot spoilers for given). i’ve never written for semi before, so i hope i did him justice
Cheers erupted from all around the bar as the band’s leader and vocalist hit the final note of the song, signalling the end of the show. However, this did very little to kill off the enthusiasm of the fans, as they all chanted in unison for one more song.
“One more song, one more song!”
Semi gasped for breath, feeling his body almost running on empty after nearly two hours of intense guitar playing. He looked to his band’s leader to see if he would go through with the crowd’s request.
After catching his breath, the leader turned to Semi, eyeing him seriously as if to ask him if he could really do it. Semi bit his lip, tightening the grip around the neck of his guitar in anxiousness.
Could he do it? He had never once sung on stage since the band’s inception, settling instead to blend into the background and jam out on his guitar. It wasn’t like he couldn’t sing, but there was only ever one person that he sang for, and well…
“I love hearing you sing, Eita. You have a lovely voice.”
Releasing a sigh of nerves, Semi nodded his head. The leader grinned and shot him a subtle thumbs up before grabbing the microphone to address the audience. “If another song’s what you want, then another song’s what you’ll get!”
Once again, the crowd erupted into whoops and hollers as their excitement reverberated all throughout the walls of the bar.
“But,” everyone quickly turned to silence after that, “the one who’ll be singing is Semi over here.”
Hushed noises of confusion soon rang out as the leader grabbed Semi by the arm and gently pushed him towards the front of the stage where the microphone stood. Rushing backstage, the leader quickly grabbed his own guitar, which he had hidden away in its case. While he enjoyed the spotlight that came with being the band’s lead vocalist, he didn’t mind playing back-up guitar every now and then.
Once everyone was in position, Semi nervously glanced into the darkness of the bar. Although he couldn’t see their stares, Semi could feel the looks of judgement, anticipation, and curiosity all directed on him as he took a hold of the microphone stand.
“Ehhh, did Sato strain his throat or something?”
“I’ve never heard Semi sing before, I’m so excited!”
“Can Semi even sing?”
Of course I can sing, Semi internally scoffed. I wouldn’t be up here if I couldn’t.
Tapping the microphone to quiet everyone down, Semi opened his mouth to speak. “Uh, hey. I know I’m usually not up here, but I wanted to sing you guys a song that’s close to my heart.”
Pausing for a moment to collect himself, Semi took a deep breath before continuing. “I wrote this song for someone close to me. She’s not here to listen to it now, but I hope it still reaches her.”
Turning to his bandmates to indicate that he was ready, every one of them shot him an encouraging smile. He wobbly returned their smiles and turned his attention back on to the audience.
“This song is called ‘Winter’s Story.’ I hope you all like it.”
Tapping his drumsticks together, the band’s drummer counted down to the song.
One, two, three-
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“Wow, Eita, that was great!” Clapping your hands together, you smiled at your boyfriend as he came to the end of his impromptu performance.
Semi chuckled at the pure joy and adoration shining from your eyes as he set his guitar down back into its case and made himself comfortable onto the chair next to your bed.
In the small and quaint confines of your hospital room, the only noises that could be heard were the monotonous beeps of your heart monitor and the light footsteps of nurses quietly patrolling the hallways outside of your door.
The glow of the setting sun indicated that the dark winter night was fast approaching, and with it, visiting hours would soon be over. Although Semi hated this fact, he couldn’t deny how beautiful you looked as the casting rays of the sun gave your face an angelic shimmer to it.
Even though you denied his claims of beauty on most days, with your skin being reduced to an abnormally sickly tone and needles and wires prodding away at your arm, Semi was always quick to rebuttal all of this. Even in this state, you were still an absolute goddess to him. From the first day he had met you, Semi always thought you were the most beautiful girl he knew.
“So, how long did it take you to write that song?” you asked after a moment of silence.
“Hmmm,” he paused to think about it, “a few days? I just thought about you, and it all came to me.”
Laughing at his poor attempt at flirting, you gave your boyfriend a playful push on the shoulder. “Well, aren’t you a smooth one, Mr. Musician.”
“Only for you, pretty lady,” Semi quipped back with a smirk.
You both chuckled as your conversation soon fell into a quiet and comfortable lull. Semi took to gently holding your hand, while you simply stared out at the large single window that occupied your room, watching in awe as the previously orange sky painted itself black and snowflakes began to fall.
“So-” “I-”
Both you and Semi stared at each other in surprise and amusement before you prompted for him to go first.
“I have some really exciting news about the band,” he informed you.
Seeing you curiously tilt your head, Semi took this as a sign to tell you the news. “There’s this really popular bar, Submariner. It’s located downtown next to all of these other trendy bars and clubs.”
Letting out a hum to indicate that you were listening, Semi said, “Well, the owner of the place saw one of our videos online and sent us an email to ask if we wanted to play a show at the bar next week!”
Pausing for a second to process this new information, you almost jumped out of your bed once you had registered Semi’s words. You let out a cry of joy as you reached up to wrap your arms around your boyfriend’s neck. You almost felt yourself burst into tears at his accomplishment. You were so proud of him.
“Eita, that’s amazing! It’s what you and the guys have always wanted!” you exclaimed. “This is your dream!”
Semi laughed, wrapping his arms around you as he felt tears in his own eyes at your genuine happiness and reaction. He pulled you close, finding comfort in the beating of your heart and the warmth of your body. They were all reminders that you were here, that you were alive.
“Yeah, it’s our first live gig, so everyone’s really excited,” he said while tracing the curve of your back. “We’re even working on a new song right now to play as our opening act.”
“When are you guys playing?” you peeked out from his chest.
“Hmm, next Friday night on the eighteenth,” he responded. “Why?”
He didn’t notice how your body stilled. “O-oh, um, just asking. I wanted to tell my parents so that they could go down there and record you guys.”
Semi hummed. “Even if you’re not there, I’ll always be thinking about you, okay?”
“You’re so lame,” you teased, giving him a peck on the cheek as you made yourself comfortable again on the bed.
“Yeah, whatever,” he conceded as a blush coloured his face. “Anyways, what about you, [Y/N]? Didn’t you want to tell me something too?”
“Y-yeah. I just wanted to tell you that the surgery date hasn’t been decided yet,” you nervously chewed on your lips, “I-I’m a little bit scared just thinking about it, if I’m being honest.”
“[Y/N],” Semi began seriously, taking a hold of your hand. “You’re the strongest person I know. Your doctor said that you’re getting better every day, so you have a high chance of surviving the operation. You’ll make it through this, and I’ll be beside you every step of the way.”
Stunned by his words, your mind was quickly put at ease by Semi’s reassurance. Showing your appreciation, you sent him a sincere smile, the one that got his heart pumping and his mind racing. The one that made him fall in love with you all over again. The one he wanted to wake up every morning to, and the one that he couldn’t live without.
“I know, Eita,” you whispered emotionally. “I love you.”
He smiled back at you. “I love you too.”
The sweet moment was soon interrupted by a soft knock at your door. The nurse in charge of your care sheepishly smiled as she entered into your room with a cart full of medical equipment and pills.
“[L/N]-san, visiting hours are over,” she announced. “I’m also here to check your vitals and administer your medicine.”
Semi sighed, disappointed and knowing that this moment would come sooner or later. Packing up his things, Semi hitched his guitar case onto his shoulder and went over to place a tender kiss on your forehead.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me, all right?” he warned, though there was no real seriousness behind his eyes.
Heading for the door, he bowed to the nurse and thanked her for taking such good care of you. The nurse simply brushed him off, saying that it was her job to take care of you and that you were one of the more delightful patients she had to deal with.
Turning around to look at you one more time, Semi shot you a smile that he had reserved only for your eyes. The kind of smile that came from the bottom of his heart and was filled with adoration.
“I love you,” he repeated again.
“I love you too,” you huffed in playful exasperation. “Now go before the snow starts affecting traffic.”
Semi chuckled and waved goodbye, and as he headed towards the elevators, he couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with the nurse.
“I heard he wrote you a new song? Some of the other nurses were talking about it in the breakroom.”
“Yeah, he did! It was really sweet.”
He heard the nurse sigh fondly. “It must be nice having a boyfriend as caring and loving as Semi-san, right?”
You giggled. “Yeah, he’s the best!”
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As the lyrics poured out of Semi’s mouth, the memories of you all came rushing back to him—memories that he had long since tried to forget and had buried deep within the depths of his heart.
From your first date to the day you finally moved in together. From your first major fight to the day you were read your diagnosis. These were all moments that Semi had cherished with you, but now-
“W-what do you mean the operation was yesterday?!” Semi shouted, ignoring the uneasy looks some of the passing nurses gave him.
“S-she didn’t want us to tell you, Eita-kun,” your mother cried, holding back her tears. Your father stood beside her, doing his best to support his wife as he dealt with his own grief and loss. “It was on the same day as your show. She didn’t want to burden you. She wanted you to play!”
It was your mother’s next words that broke his heart forever. “S-she…she didn’t make it.”
“Ahhh-ahhhhh!!” Semi screamed out in time with the bridge’s commencement. It was a guttural noise, one full of anger, sadness, and betrayal, all of which he had bottled away this entire time.
Semi always regretted that day. He would have gladly given up his dream of becoming a musician if it meant that he could have said goodbye to you one last time. Unfortunately, fate was far too cruel.
No matter where I go, you’re there, he thought to himself as he continued to sing. You’re always in my head. You’re in everything I see.
Feeling the hot tears pouring from his eyes, Semi strummed away at his guitar.
No matter where I go, I can still see you there…
Images of dates, anniversaries, and all the times you two had spent together began appearing in his mind. Semi could never forget the joy in your eyes whenever you smiled at him or the happiness in your laughter whenever he told a stupid joke. All of those images and sounds came crashing back to him, striking like a tsunami.
“It was her choice not to tell you,” Tendou said, warily glancing at all the empty bottles of alcohol strewn around the apartment. “She wanted you to chase after your dream.”
“What the hell’s the point of my dream if she isn’t here for it?!” Semi lashed out, not caring for the tears rolling down his face. “I only got into music because I wanted to make her happy! I wanted to see her smile! But now-”
The audience stared in total awe and focus as Semi poured his heart out into his singing and playing. All the bitterness, resentment, sadness, and regret that he had ever felt about that day were now being put into his performance.
I can’t forgive you for lying, he thought bitterly. I can’t forgive myself for not being there. But most of all…I miss you.
Striking the final chord of the song, Semi ended the show in spectacular fashion. The crowd looked on in stunned silence and wide eyes before exploding into loud praises and cheers. Although his lungs were on fire and his fingers twitched with every slight movement he made, Semi never felt more happy. The weight around his heart was now beginning to feel lighter, and with it, a chance to finally start moving forward.
Rubbing away at his eyes to get rid of the remaining tears, Semi weakly chuckled to himself. He quietly thanked the fans and wished them all a good night before exiting the stage with his bandmates. As they each congratulated him on his amazing performance, Semi couldn’t help but let his mind wander off to you one more time.
[Y/N], no matter where you are, I hope you know I’m happy. I’ve chased after my dream, just like you wanted me to. I made it, [Y/N].
…I love you.
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taglist: @kkoalaworld​ (you said you wanted to be tagged)
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