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#and this one specifically triggers my fight or flight.
pyromaniac-cyndaquil · 4 months
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WHY IS IT BACK AGAIN.
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silverwarewolf · 2 years
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anyhow if you use fake natural disaster alarms as pranks i will fucking maim you
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toastsnaffler · 6 months
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I was on the wikipedia page for phobias just for fun but just discovered theres an actual word for a fear of being touched.. 🥹
#haphephobia.... and they list guts from berserk under pop culture references 😢😢😭😭 thats my guy....#not gonna lie i teared up a bit i didnt realise it 'counted' as an actual phobia#i find it really difficult to talk abt but i have a complicated relationship w touch/physical contact (likely trauma babeyy)#and while i do crave it a lot i also have a very physical reflexive fear response especially if its intentional + i dont expect it#which can sometimes even get triggered just being in proximity to ppl bc like. even the possibility sets me on fucking edge#it would be nice to be as physically affectionate as i naturally want to be without dealing w my fight/flight/freeze but alas#its weird bc there are some random situations where it doesnt get triggered at all but its so unpredictable every time#and varies wildly person to person for seemingly no reason. there r strangers im innately more comfortable with but also friends ive known#for years and will never be comfortable around. i think part of that depends on how strongly the other person communicates and whether-#i feel as if theyre demonstrably able to respect boundaries not just mine but their own too + understand theyre not always fixed#ideally i need to have had this conversation with them so i Know they understand. which is rly difficult i find it so hard to admit#and i have a complicated mental block where i need the other person to naturally bring it up which very very rarely ever happens#idk just an atmosphere of safety yknow. i think its intentional touch that specifically makes me panic bc im usually fine w like-#bustling crowds or even expected social rules like handshakes at interviews. bc its not like they're Trying To Touch Me its just rote idk#hopefully eventually ill reach a place where im able to unpack it and reduce its severity bc man sometimes its fucking heartbreaking to me#bc i do genuinely really like physical contact im an incredibly physical person its my main way of interacting w the world#and the way having to force myself to avoid it meshes w my rsd too augh.... its a clusterfuck#even just having one person im completely comfortable with. maaaaan.#almost makes me miss my ex. at least i was mostly cool around them#god its sucked lately ive been having weird vivid dreams related to it. but whatever its so far down my list of problems to prioritize#and at least i dont get it w my familys dog so i can cuddle her :^) i miss her i cant wait to see her next month :D#anywayyyy thats enough im so tired goodnight every1...#.diaries
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avoxrising · 6 months
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The Feral One • Chapter 2
Finnick x Reader
Series Masterlist Link
I had some down time while my flight was delayed so here’s another chapter! Hopefully chapter 3 will come out in a few days but we shall see. Thanks for all the love on the first chapter!
Content warnings - flashback to prostitution assault and detailed descriptions of killing/death
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You weren’t always known as a feral victor. Sure, some of your kills in the arena were a bit much, but it’s not uncommon to see that behavior in the games. It is a fight to the death after all. What is uncommon, however, is that literal fight continuing afterwards.
After the incident with the first doctor, which was kept quiet from the public at first, Snow believed you would still be of use from him. He thought the capital doctors could “fix you” and make you “civilized” again. He’s lucky he always had guards with him, or he would have ended up on your list.
Finnick, your mentor, thought that your post-arena violence might save you from his fate in the capital. He tried to convince Snow that it wasn’t a good idea to assign you clients, that you were unpredictable and things could go very wrong. Snow thought it would be fine.
“Sure she may put up a fight,” he told Finnick, “most of them do. But, I don’t think that should be an issue for her client. He could break her quite easily if he needed to.”
And break you he did, just not physically. It was you who did the physical breaking.
You didn’t mean to kill him, nor anyone else outside the arena, but his grotesque hands roaming your body triggered something deep inside you; a primal instinct you first felt in the arena. It was kill or be killed.
You tried to push through it. Snow had warned you what would happen to your family if you didn’t comply. But laying there being completely violated by this capital man broke the only pieces of you that had survived the arena. Your mind had convinced itself that you were out of options.
The man’s avox had phoned the police when she heard him scream, but they weren’t fast enough. He was so engrossed in his actions that he didn’t notice the way your eyes turned cold, or the way you stopped protesting.
Less than two minutes later, he was dead. You still can’t shake the feeling of his eyeballs under your nails, or the sound he made as you crushed his esophagus. The worst part was having to unattach yourself from him when the ordeal was over. You didn’t even protest when the police entered. They sedated you and carried you off, away from the scene of your crime.
Did you mean to kill him? No.
Do you regret it? Absolutely not.
The only thing you regret is coming out of that arena alive; but what’s done is done and there’s no going back.
Your prep team won’t go anywhere near you for the parade, which is quite the dilemma. How the hell were you supposed to get ready? You’re surprised a stylist designed something for you at all, or that they’re even letting you participate for that matter.
Apparently, your stylist didn’t design the outfit. He said that his mentor, Tigress, wanted to design something for you specifically but she is banned from the games so he volunteered to bring her design to you. He’s the first person in the capital who doesn’t seem terrified to be in your presence, but the peacekeepers still won’t let him near.
You’re forced to dress in front of the peacekeepers. They uncuff you at least but it’s still uncomfortable. You would strangle them all right now but unfortunately there would be consequences.
Snow paid you a visit last night. He told you exactly what would happen if you went “feral” before the games.
“We wouldn’t want Mr. Odair’s pedestal to malfunction while he was standing on it, would we?” he stated. “Or for Mrs. Flanagan to come down with a horrible illness. That would be quite unfortunate.”
You had to do everything possible to keep yourself under control, but even that could only help so much. The rage you felt inside was growing and it wasn’t calming down anytime soon.
“Why isn’t it ready yet?” the shrill voice of Linessa calls to the peacekeepers outside of your room.
“No prep team would touch her,” they tell her. “The tribute is getting herself dressed.”
“Move,” Finnick states as he pushes past the group to enter your room. You’re mostly clothed but are having issues with zipping up the back of your gown.
It’s a beautiful blue gown that hugs your skin before flaring out just below your hips. The stylist explained it as, “The image of a silent siren. A deeply misunderstood mythological creature of the ocean.”
Finnick slowly approaches, making sure you can see his hands.
“Can I help get you ready?” he asks. “We need to be out there soon.”
You nod and turn so he can zip up your dress. The feeling of his hands on your back causes you to tense up but you grit your teeth and remind yourself it’s just Finnick.
Practically grinding your teeth dull, you let Finnick do a simple makeup look on you to match your outfit. You wish you could give him an outfit instead of a net but neither you nor Mags have a say in the matter. You especially don’t.
Finnick is especially careful not to touch the scar that runs down the side of your face. You got it during your games and the capital doctors refused to polish it off after you killed one with a scalpel for taking your temperature. You wish you had the temperament to let him cover it up with the makeup but you know it would set you off.
When he’s done, the peacekeepers come and recuff your wrists but leave your feet free so you don’t trip in the dress.
“She doesn’t need those,” Finnick tells them.
“I’m sorry Mr. Odair but these are direct orders from Snow,” they state.
“Will you remove them before the parade?” he asks.
“No,” they state. Mags whispers something to Finnick and he nods in understanding before approaching you slowly.
“Hey,” he calmly states. “I need to go talk to some people before the parade. Stay with Mags and I’ll come get you before we start.” You nod and he leaves.
The peacekeepers force you and Mags out to where the chariots are, but make you stay along the edge of the stables where they can keep an eye on you. They wouldn’t want any of the “excitement” to start before the games begin.
You can see Finnick talking to Katniss, last year’s victor. You don’t really know any of the other victors besides Finnick and Mags. They know all about you, of course, but none of them care enough to get to know you. The only one who has ever spoken to you (over the phone of course) is Johanna Mason of District 7. She’s pretty close with Finnick and they talk all the time. You would be jealous if Finnick didn’t practically live at your place and spend all his time with you. Plus Johanna hates people.
“Hey feisty!” you hear Johanna call as she approaches you. Finnick has shown you pictures of her but outside of that and watching her games you had only ever heard her voice. The peacekeepers move to block her but one glare from her sends them away. “How’s life outside of your cell?”
You give her a thumbs down and she laughs in response, catching the attention of the other tributes.
“Well I give it double thumbs down,” she states.
“Johanna!” you hear a male yell. “Get your ass over here.”
“Ugh Blight’s calling,” Johanna groans. “See ya later feisty!”
You think you’re done socializing for today when you’re approached by a young blond boy. He doesn’t protest when the peacekeepers keep him five feet away.
“Hi y/n,” he states. “I’m Peeta. I don’t think we’ve met yet.”
You give him a blank stare as you study him. Something about you feels like he’s harmless, but you can’t be too sure.
“Ah Melark,” Gloss booms as he approaches the boy. “Don’t take it personal. Feral doesn’t talk.”
It’s clear these two haven’t met before as Peeta looks a bit scared of the career. You’d met Gloss once before your games as he was your allies’ mentor, but you haven’t spoken in years. Him and Finnick aren’t close.
“Oh, uh I’m sorry,” Peeta stutters. He glances over his shoulder to see Finnick flirting with Katniss. “Uh nice to meet you I guess.”
Peeta looks harmless, but looks can be deceiving. Katniss, on the other hand, looks like trouble.
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bonny-kookoo · 8 months
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Jungkook
𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 | Wake up call
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Sometimes you only really cherish things when they're taken away from you.
Tags/Warnings: Alien!Jungkook, Human!Reader, dystopian AU, space/Sci-fi/cyberpunk-esque, Enemies to lovers, Angst, Violence, Drama, romance, adult, angst, potentially triggering content, Hurt and comfort, JKs dad, major injury, angst, comfort, fluff
Length: 4.3k words
There is no taglist for this fic.
-> Masterlist
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It's pitch-black when you wake up, and it takes you a moment to realize that it's simply your eyes needing to adjust to the lack of light.
You instantly sit up in Jungkook's main resting spot, only to realize he's missing- instead standing at the main control screen, tapping away with his eyes reflecting the light of the screen in front of him. At a call of his name however, his face snaps towards you, the alien hybrid instantly walking towards you to cover your shoulders with a heavy blanket, before he sits down in the nest with you, clearly in a fight-or-flight state. "What's wrong?" You ask, and your sleepy voice and clearly drowsy state make him feel awfully protective over you-
and that's only partially due to his whole hormonal fiasco going on.
"We're passing a re-fueling station." He tells you, hushed and low in tone. "But the scanners show way too many ships in the area, so I'm trying to move us around." He offers as an explanation, unknowingly sitting closer to you, hands searching for any sort of physical contact with you before he just throws his pride out the window and moves to have you sit on his lap instead.
"Maybe it's just crowded?" You wonder, unsure why this is worrying him so much. But he shakes his head.
"Something's off." He simply denies, eyes focused on the large windows in the front of the ship, offering a wide view of whatever's going on in front and frontal sides- one of those windows being the one you're currently sleeping at. "I don't trust this." He shakes his head, arms slowly wrapping around you as he waits for the autopilot to steer the ship safely past the refueling station.
"Maybe it's.. you know?" You wonder, looking up at him- but he shakes his head.
"I'm.. I would've-" He sighs. "No one can really help me with my instincts because I am.. currently the only human-Bolku hybrid around, so not even Jin's mother can really.. help me understand what's going on with me." He shrugs, holding you in a relaxed, but almost clingy way. "I've simply decided to just.. take your words to heart, you could say." He tells you.
"What do you mean?" You ask, leaning into him a bit as the screen blinks with something- Jungkook looking once, before he puts his attention back onto you, apparently not alarmed by whatever message just popped up.
"You said the only life I can control is mine." He reminds you. "So I'll just.. let whatever I'm feeling run it's course, and learn to control my life instead of trying to just.. hiding in a vacuum." He explains, large ship coming into view in the distance, a few other's as well in close proximity. This catches Jungkook's attention, as he moves his body into a straighter position to properly catch a glance at the ID parts of the ships- required by law. It's typically a flag of the respective planet or organization, combined with a letter-number Identification, similar to a license plate back on earth.
And suddenly, Jungkook tenses up, eyes focused solely on one particular ship it seems like, as it passes by slowly. You're not sure what's wrong, when there's another warning tone, this time making Jungkook growl a little to himself as he gets up to walk towards the control console, tapping away.
He's scanning everything back and forth before he curses, slamming his hands onto the control board, jaw clenched, before he puts some different commands in, ship shifting, starting to steer in a very specific manner that makes the generators underneath your floor rumble in a new rhythm.
"I thought we were skipping this one?" You wonder, but Jungkook grimly shakes his head.
"We can't." He sighs. "I tend to forget that.. this ship is so old." He mumbles, clearly upset.
"It'll be fine." You try and reassure- and he looks at you for a good moment, before he grimly nods to himself.
Hoping that'll be the case.
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Jungkook is usually very much at ease when it comes to situations like these. He clearly knows his way around and is aware of how to act and what not to do in certain situations- year long experience giving him the necessary confidence to properly keep his job going.
But this time, he's on edge- never letting you out of sight, and even having checked multiple times before leaving the ship that the tracker on your new collar works perfectly just in case. He's also made you wear some of his clothes- says it's got something to do with other alien species' staying away from you if you smell like him, and in your eyes, it makes sense. Maybe his whole hormone-issue is just making him a little overprotective.
You understand that, somewhat. And you have to admit that his clothes are very comfortable to wear.
But something you also notice, for the first time, is what he's warned you about in your room, days ago. How everyone who knows his father will look at you with a certain sense of judgement- and this time, it seems like almost everyone seems to know him, because the looks are everywhere. It doesn't bother you too much- but you can feel with the way Jungkook's hand tightens around yours that it does affect him.
"Can we go eat something while the ship refuels?" You wonder, tugging on his hand to gain his attention, trying to pull his mind away from the admittedly tense atmosphere around you. He nods after a moment, nodding towards the employees currently attaching the giant tubes to the ship, before he walks away and towards the food section, numerous different small restaurants cooking quickly for customers sitting and standing close by.
"What do you want to eat?" He asks you, who's already scanning the pictures as best as you can- still not very good at deciphering the intergalactic standard writing. You should really learn it sooner rather than later- it's got to be annoying to read everything to you, after all.
"Uh.. can I eat this?" You ask him, pointing to a specific food covered in crispy fried dough- not because he pays for it, but because he also knows what humans can and can't eat.
Now this fact makes finally sense to you- because as someone who's partially human, Jungkook has to look out for certain foods as to not upset his stomach. For you, the consequences are much more severe, however, so he instead walks up to the counter to ask, just to make sure. The man behind, an alien with scars all over his face as if burned at some point, looks down at you, then at him, before he scoffs.
"She ain't gonna die from it." He says, but Jungkook is clearly not satisfied with an answer like that.
"I asked if it's safe to consume, not if she's gonna die from it." He challenges almost annoyed, a few close standing customers already clearly interested in the small scene.
"And I told you what I know. I don't usually have to feed 'em." The man replies, slamming down his large cleaver into the wooden counter in front of him, cutting a piece of meat in half.
"She can eat it just fine." A voice chimes up, deep and a little scratchy- and multiple things happen all at once.
First, people start to make room, averting their gazes as if an accident just occurred, and someone blasted their guts all over the place.
Almost at the same time, Jungkook pulls you close to him, shielding you in a way from whomever just talked behind you, body hiding you away like he needs to protect you from something.
And then, you poke your head around a little, catching a glimpse of the man.
He's clearly a Bolku with his tall build, even a good hand or two taller than Jungkook, body bulky and muscular, though the face shows the time this man has been alive. There's horns on his head curving backwards, and his eyes are what's the most prominent about him- small, halfway opened, but sharp in their gaze and a deep orange-y red, the color of pure confidence.
A shiver runs down your spine when you realize the small similarities you recognize however. This has to be Jungkook's father.
"Make two servings. I'll pay." The man orders, and the cook eagerly occupies himself with his job to flee the scene, quietly preparing the food. "Snatched a taste of human love, haven't you?" He laughs to himself, now having caught you peeking around Jungkook's arm, his eyes staring you down so much that you can feel your skin crawl.
"We're leaving." Jungkook mumbles to you over his shoulder, hand holding yours as his father chuckles lowly.
"Already? Your ship is barely halfway fueled." He says, sitting down at a table. "And the poor little thing must be hungry too. Aren't you?" He adresses you, but Jungkook hisses back towards you.
"Don't talk to him." He commands, and you nod, before you lean up towards him to speak closer into his ear.
"I'm not that hungry." You reassure him, and he nods, moving to walk away with you-
when suddenly, out of nowhere, someone tugs you away from Jungkook's hand, collar being pulled so roughly it causes you to violently cough from your throat being pushed together forcefully.
Jungkook shouts, but he's held back as well- whoever has you in their grip is bringing you closer to Jungkook's father, who inspects you from his sitting position. "Pretty thing." He comments, using his cane to tap at your thighs. "Healthy body. I wouldn't be able to resist either." He jokes, making who you assume to be his crewmembers laugh while you hold onto the front of your collar to help yourself breathe. "Ah, your mother needed one of those too. They always try and run off, don't they?" He comments, making Jungkook struggle.
You've never seen Jungkook's eyes shine in such a violent shade of red- almost as if his eyes are going to spout flames any second.
"I assume she's not for sale?" He wonders towards his son, who spits onto the ground right in front of his father's shoes, probably as a non-verbal answer. "Figured." The man says, pulling back his boot before he looks at you. "I'll be taking her anyways."
"She's registered under my name!" Jungkook argues. "I'll be sending out a patrol the minute you have to leave-" He argues, and his father laughs loudly.
"Your name means nothing in this system!" He barks back. "You have no worth, you bastard. Be happy I'll let you leave once your trash-pile of a ship is refueled." He warns.
You're starting to become tired fighting against the strong hold of whomever got their hands on you- causing your to breath harder and harder, oxygen not reaching your brain as well, causing you to become dizzy- and it's something Jungkook notices, because of course he does.
And another thing he realizes is that he knows you're in distress long before he spots the blinking red light of your collar, signaling something wrong with your vital signs.
And before you can do anything else, the edges of your eyesight begin to darken like a vignette filter, Jungkook's terrified gaze the only thing you can make out before you pass out, becoming limp in the hands of whoever is holding you.
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You're glaring at the man in front of you, refusing to eat anything that's offered.
He's already needed a large patch on his hand to cover up the aggressive bite you placed there hours prior after he tried to touch you- but he's intelligent enough to not try it again, it seems like. He thinks you're easy prey, probably- and that's what you used to be, and what you would've been if he'd been the one to find you back then.
But you belong to Jungkook- and Jungkook made you want to fight for your life, just to get back to him.
"Do you even know who he is?" The man in front of you speaks, trying to intimidate you with his gaze, but, for some reason you're not sure of, it doesn't work. "He'll abandon you the moment he finds a proper partner to mate with." He scoffs, and you just keep staring at him.
You don't believe anything this man is spewing- in fact, you're not even properly listening, rather trying to think hard of a way to escape this ship- entire layout foreign to you, since you didn't wake up until you were already on the ship. The only thing you know is that the entire interior intimidates you with it's perfect polished metal walls- something about Jungkook's old and somewhat worn down rooms and halls just makes you feel at home.
Or maybe it just feels like that because you fell in love on this ship.
So the minute you're left alone again after he insults you in Bolku language you don't understand, your brain is running at lightspeed.
Vents are out of reach, but maybe if you could push some of the furniture you could reach it- but someone might hear, and catch you in the act, making this whole plan incredibly dangerous. It's risk against reward after all- you're no use to anyone if you're dead. So you look around once more, checking out everything-
when you spot another vent, small but definitely in better reach than anything else. And the best thing is that once you're in there, there's no way anybody can reach out or crawl in behind you. The only issue?
You don't know where it leads. And from looking over Jungkook's shoulder at the general layout of his ship, you know that some vents lead straight into machines- and you're honestly not ready to be boiled alive.
Your decision however falls onto all or nothing- so you undo your collar at the emergency clip Jungkook had shown you, in case they're tracking you that way, before you crawl under the bed where the vent is, cover easy to remove as you crawl inside. It's tight, not much room and definitely not enough space to turn around now, as you move slowly, having left your shoes behind so that your socked feet don't make too much sound.
On the way, you can spot some vents you have to crawl over slowly, showing you numerous rooms of the ship. A kitchen, another prep room it looks like, multiple storage spaces, and then-
bright lights, clearly leading outside.
You crawl faster the moment you hear machines starting, finally able to see the drop-
and it's not only high up, but right next to a small engine that's clearly about to start if the radiating heat and slowly glowing metal were anything to go by. So either way- you're gonna get cooked alive, or you'll break your spine falling down.
You've got nothing to lose.
Safe to say you do end up cracking something- but the adrenaline is enough to push you through the pain, legs running faster than you ever thought you could as you make your way through the ship station, searching frantically for anything familiar so you can find your way back to Jungkook. If his father stayed true to his word, he would be allowed to leave- and you don't know how long you were out for, so you might already be too late.
Or would he wait for you?
You're searching around frantically when you can spot the familiar ship- large cargo door slowly closing, metal wall lifting, as you shout Jungkook's name as loud as you can- even though you just know he probably can't hear you.
You don't know how you manage even after tripping painfully so, but you reach the lifting cargo door just in time to jump up and lift yourself in-
when you feel warms in the back of your shoulder, something almost crawling down your back, the same feeling in another spot lower on your back, and in the back and front of your leg. It takes a good moment for you to slowly calm down, ship's door closing behind you, as the engines start, before you realize what's happening.
You've been shot by some sort of weapon, multiple times. And the feeling of something crawling, was simply your own blood.
It's ironic how you find yourself seeking at least some sort of warmth yet again under the blue plastic tarp- similar to how you first snuck onto this ship. But the tables have turned- and now, it seems like you'll find your end here too, between all the cargo and dust and by now familiar scents and sounds.
It could be worse.
Just like the first time, the large metal door hisses as it opens loudly, and once again just like the first time, you hear boots on the floor. But this time, you're not scared- this time you know who it is, and you find comfort in that.
Tarps are lifted. Cargo is inspected.
And then, the dark blue one you're hiding under is pulled back- but this time, he's not holding a gun, or a grim expression, or anything alike.
This time, he drops harshly to his knees as he pulls you close to him, holding you, uncaring of your blood staining his clothes.
This time, he wants you to stay.
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He's got you in his nest, while he steers the ship angrily, intercom blasting the sound of his father trying to get through his mind. But Jungkook is filled with nothing but rage and that need to finally break free from the shackles this man had put him in all his life.
"I saw her drop, kid." He laughs. "Stop trying to chase ghosts, you'll kill yourself too trying to move that thing any faster!" He jokes, spits at the old ship Jungkook has owned for years now. But what he doesn't know, is that sometimes, newer isn't better. Because this is a ship build during the third interstellar war-
this thing is meant to last.
And withstand.
So Jungkook lifts his face, eyes locking with the one's of his father moments before he lets it happen-
ramming right into the smaller jet ship painted white, causing sure damage to his own ship- but it's clear that whatever happened to his own, is nothing compared to the large gashes and dents in the exterior, communication cutting off as he watches the smaller white ship slowly lose engine after engine, fuel leaking without any gravity into the galaxy, fires burning out, until everything is quiet-
the wreck left behind him, just like his past.
Jungkook doesn't even check if the autopilot is really properly working- he only cares for you now, who's still breathing shallowly in the nest he slept in with you before, bandages already letting your blood seep through. He's not trained enough in human health to properly help you- he's unequipped as well, which just makes this all the more worse.
He can't help you. No matter how bad he wants to.
All he can do is wipe the sweat off your forehead before he holds you close again, curling up around your body, trying to hide you away from everything. When he heard you call, it felt odd- like a sound only in his thoughts, not clear, but definitely present. He didn't know at first what had happened- only when the security check signed to him that something was wrong in the cargo room down in the bowel of the spaceship did he check-
finding you yet again, just like the first time.
But this time, he's holding you in fear. He's not sure if he can even do anything if he reaches a destination- human health is something not everyone has enough knowledge in, and even if that's the case, the chances of finding a still practicing doctor for you are slim to none at the moment.
It's so horribly unfair.
He finally accepted not only himself but you- and now he's gonna have to watch you leave after all, the world taking yet another thing away from him, as if his childhood and adolescence wasn't enough. No- apparently his future is on the menu next, to be devoured with every breath you struggle to take.
The intercom rings, and Jungkook doesn't care for it- simply swipes his hand over the panel near the window to accept it, Yoongis surprised voice ringing out- tone changing quickly as he notices the blurred scene of Jungkook and you in the corner, transmission a little choppy due to the damage to the ship.
"I received an emergency signal- are you there?" He asks with urgency, and Jungkook just hums a reply. "Jungkook, what happened?" He worries, ship slowly coming into view of the large side windows, light blue paint flaking off the metal casing of the small ship.
"We ran into him." Jungkook mumbles, running his hand over your head in a soft manner, relishing in your warmth for as long as it's there. "He tried to take her- she snuck out.. got in last minute." He explains. Yoongi exhales a breath.
"Thank god-" He starts, but Jungkook wasn't finished.
"They shot her." He hums, voice emotionless, eyes a pale grey. "Now she's dying." He chuckles softly, looking down at you- you look like you're merely sleeping, resting against his body. "He's taking everything from me even past his lifetime." He scoffs.
"I'm tugging your ship to the nearest outpost- it's Aon, we should make it in less than half an hour max." Yoongi urges, saying something to what Jungkook assumes must be his human partner. "We have medical supplies on board. Is she still bleeding?"
No answer. Jungkook fails to see the point of one.
"Jungkook!" Yoongi barks. "Did you at least wrap her wounds? Anything?" He tries to find out, but the Bolku hybrid stays quiet- too mesmerized by sight of your eyes moving behind your closed lids. Your lashes are long. Soft. How come he's never noticed that? "Jungkook you gotta give me something to work with!" Yoongi whines almost, successfully connecting to Jungkook's autopilot, initiating the system to follow Yoongi's ship that's not in front.
Jungkook sighs. "I wrapped her up.. the best I can." He shrugs. "Now I'm letting her sleep."
Yoongi sighs. "What was she even shot with?" He wants to know, but Jungkook doesn't know. "Alright, I guess that's the only info I'll get out of you at this point." He mumbles to himself, before he cuts the intercom for the moment, quietly leading the ship to Aon- a small outpost set on a large meteorite, meant for simple refueling of smaller ships and temporary stay for some stranded people who didn't make it to the next bigger planet.
It's not much- but it'll do.
The only problem arises when Yoongi enters the ship and wants to look at you together with a doctor he'd found on Aon- because Jungkook just won't let anybody close to you, mind having slipped entirely now in the prospect of you being in such distress. It takes several people to remove the rather feral human hybrid from you, his eyes basically scanning every little move anyone makes as they check on you, everyone's nerves slowly relaxing. "Humans are truly odd in those things." Someone says, as he uses all four of his arms to properly put some bandages and patches onto your wounds. "They just sleep it off it seems like." He laughs, finishing up the patch on your back before he leaves you alone- and nods to the people holding Jungkook to let him go.
He immediately rushes back to you, tugging you closer, holding you tightly as you whine a bit in complain in your sleep, turning over to properly hold onto him as well.
"She'll be fine." Yoongi reassures, much to Jungkook's eyes turning round with wonder at that promise. "Humans are.. weird when it comes to ion guns." He shrugs. "It's just mostly tissue damage, some scratches here and there- but she'll literally sleep it off, like he said. She'll be fine- she just needs rest." He offers, causing a reaction he's not seen in years from the younger alien.
He cries, bitterly so-
but this time, it's tears of relief and happiness.
⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──👽── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅
"No no no no- come here." He scolds, pulling you close again to have you sit down on his lap at the main control console.
Jungkook is not letting you do anything whatsoever, even though your wounds are healing well. He's also become, while still moody as ever, incredibly touchy. As if that scare had flipped a switch and showed him how quickly you could be taken away from him again, it seems like he's decided that there's really no reason anymore to take things slow or be afraid of anything.
"Hey Jungkook?" You wonder, leaning your head back against his shoulder to look at him. He hums, not looking away from the control screen in front of him, and you giggle, still a little sleepy and low on energy due to all the medication you're taking. "I like you." You say, and this time, he chuckles-
turning his head to press a kiss against your cheek-
because he finally understands what you're trying to tell him.
He finally gets it.
⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──👽── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅
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[fic rec mlist] ot8 x reader | multi x reader
main mlist | next (member-specific)
only general themes and tags are listed - please read through the author's specific tags and warnings
both sfw and nsfw fics are included. minors please dni with nsfw fics and respect the age restrictions put into place by the writers (suggestive, smut, and trigger warnings are highlighted in red)
🩶 favourites
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into the aurora | @honeyhotteoks 🩶
pairing: ot8 x reader
genre: idol!ateez x non-idol!reader, fluff, angst, smut, trigger warnings
length: 35/35 chapters [completed] - 208.6k
you didn’t expect to run into choi san outside of the venue, especially when your phone was dead and you were stranded in a random city. a kind offer for a phone charger turns into so much more, and you end up falling into a relationship with all eight members of ateez.
murphy's law | @atzfilm
pairing: ot8 x reader
genre: alien!ateez, soulmate au, angst, fluff, smut, trigger warnings
length: 5/5 chapters [completed] - 98k
according to murphy’s law, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. black holes circle each other until they collide and merge, a cataclysm so fierce, sends ripples soaring through the fabric, crossing thousands of kilometers within a fraction of a second, leaving behind a wave on the space-time continuum. that’s the simplest way you can describe meeting him. and yet, even that is an understatement.
dewdrops at dawn | @sunmoonjune 🩶
pairing: ot8 x reader
genre: demon!au, fluff, angst, heavy suggestive content, trigger warnings
length: oneshot - 17.2k
you’ve never really believed in angels, or anything of the sort, but in a last ditch effort to escape a grave situation – you find yourself to praying for someone - anyone - to come help you.  “wow, you would not believe how fast angels are! I had to fight like six of them to answer your call!” 
oh my *** | @ohmyamor
pairing: ot8 x reader
genre: guardian angel!au, fluff, angst, comfort, near death experiences
length: oneshot - 10.2k
everyone supposedly has a guardian angel, one that’s tasked to always keep their human out of trouble and on the right path of life. but you don’t just have one, you have...eight?!
like the moon | @sunmoonjune 🩶🩶
pairing: ot8 x reader
genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, heavy themes, trigger warnings
length: 17/? chapters [ongoing] - 160k
it’s finally the day of your trial. you’ve been waiting for this day for years. will you succeed and become a warrior your clan can finally be proud of? or will you fail, and be banished from the village forever? 
the rainbow thief | @bluehwale
pairing: ot8 x reader
genre: demigods!ateez, fluff, crack, angst
length: 2/3 chapters [indefinite hiatus] - 5.1k
camp half blood introduces you to a new life — new routines, a goddess as a mom, siblings you've only recently knew about, and of course, the eight friends (or lovers?) you made along the way.
first flight to hongkong | @byuntrash101
pairing: ot8 x reader
genre: flight attendant!reader, smut
length: oneshot - 18.3k
yes, you’re suprised when your company offers you a vacant spot in the vip crew. but “surprised” doesn’t cut it when you discover what kind of service your company provides the vips
front row angel au | @bobateastay
pairing: ot8 x reader, some parts ot8-focused
genre: emo rock band!ateez x fangirl!reader, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, smut, trigger warnings
length: 6/? parts [status unknown] - 17.9k
nil author synopsis
[new chapter added] misfits | @tainsan
pairing: ot8 x reader
genre: college!au, fluff, angst, smut
length: 13/? chapters [ongoing] - 113.3k
when your world comes crashing down, the only people who are able to comfort you are the notorious group, ateez. you’ve heard rumours after rumours about the eight males who are as cold as ice, yet for some reason, they are the warmest people you know. when they offer you a place to live after your housing is destroyed by a fire, you end up finding out dark secrets that have been hidden for years.
without a trace | @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l 🩶
pairing: ot8 x reader
genre: vigilante!au, action, angst, slight crack, heavy themes
length: 11/11 chapters + 10/10 podcast transcripts [completed] - 98.6k
vigilante work has been outlawed, thus sending nine prominent vigilantes either into retirement or into lower ground and, while some abide by the law, a few continue on. then, one day, a greater threat forces these vigilantes to come together once again, regardless of the law.
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pirate king | @chaseatinydream 🩶
pairing: hongjoong x reader, wooyoung x reader
genre: pirate!au, fantasy, romance
length: 90/90 chapters [completed] - 251.8k
life as an amnesiac on board a pirate ship ruled by the one and only pirate king doesn’t seem very promising, but hey, anything’s better than becoming shark food.
this night together | @honeyhotteoks 🩶
pairing: yunho x mingi x reader, ft. seonghwa x san x wooyoung x reader
genre: a/b/o/omegaverse, fluff, angst, smut, trigger warnings
length: 14/? chapters [ongoing] - 126.5k
you’re finally getting your dream job, working with some of the best dancers in the business, but a job change means a break in your healthcare coverage and suppressants these days are expensive. going into heat at the studio pretty much seems like the worst case scenario, but you find yourself in the care of two alphas who won’t let you go through it alone.
not all that glitters is gold | @the7thcrow
pairing: seonghwa x san x wooyoung x reader
genre: action, adventure, fantasy, romance, angst, fluff, suggestive
length: 11/? chapters [ongoing] - 146.4k
as a princess fleeing a royal assassination attempt, you have no choice but to put your trust in a band of three thieves in order to reach the kingdom of kuroku alive. however, amongst magic, deceit, and the bounty hunters that are hot on your trail, you realize that you might have stumbled upon a relationship far more complicated than what meets the eye.
making wishes | @hwaightme
pairing: seonghwa x wooyoung x reader
genre: fluff, established relationship to poly, smut
length: oneshot - 7.0k
making wishes on shooting stars, on burning candles, you wanted one thing to come true. seonghwa and wooyoung are more than willing to celebrate the birthday girl.
outlaw miniseries | @hongism
pairing: yunho x jongho x reader (part iii), san x wooyoung x reader (part vi - coming soon)
genre: outlaw!ateez, dystopian futurism, lore, angst, fluff, smut
length: 3/6 standalone parts [ongoing] - 14.8k
(part iii) ‘two for the price of one!’ the sign outside the shop had read, and well, you’ve never been one to pass up on a good deal.
(part vi) author synopsis coming soon
we ransacked the city | @tenelkadjowrites
pairing: hongjoong x seonghwa x reader
genre: richsnobs!hongjoong and seonghwa, badgirl!reader, angst, smut
length: 5/5 chapters [completed] - 31.4k
five years ago, torn between losing your wealth or remaining friends with hongjoong and seonghwa, you chose money. working on leaving your life of bad behaviour behind you, your days are now spent obeying your parents and playing the good girl in order to keep your inheritance. but when hongjoong and seonghwa suddenly return, everything is thrown upside down…and old habits die hard.
letters to a ruined king | @setsugekka (nb: links to ao3 as fic is no longer available on tumblr. author permission to share received)
pairing: hongjoong x reader, seonghwa x reader, yunho x reader, san x reader
genre: pirate!au, royalty!au, fantasy, romance, action, angst, smut
length: 20/20 chapters [completed] - 150.8k
if there’s one thing you remember as a mantra from growing up in a street thief guild, it’s ‘trust no one but your own, don’t get wrapped up with the wrong crowd.’ unfortunately, these seven pirates and their irate captain have left you with little choice.
as the world caves in (to eden) | @atzfilm (nb: links to ao3 as fic is no longer available on tumblr. author permission to share received)
pairing: hongjoong x reader, san x reader, wooyoung x reader, ? x reader
genre: apocalypse!au, friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, trigger warnings
length: 11/? chapters [hiatus] - 55.2k
a mysterious virus has taken over the world, resulting in the undead and the new ‘eden race’ of humans. desperately trying to find your brother jongho with your friends, you stumble across another group in an abandoned hospital tent. strangely, they’re looking for him as well.
better than me? | @beahae
pairing: san x reader, ft. seonghwa x yunho x wooyoung x reader
genre: bf!san x reader x bf's best friends!seonghwa yunho wooyoung, smut
length: twoshot - 10.4k
it’s always been just a harmless game, flirting with your boyfriend, san’s, good friends. he’s even in on it. but one night, he starts pushing things further than ever before. 
last updated: 01 april 2024
1K notes · View notes
rineptune · 3 months
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hiiii! i just read your angel fic and it was so amazing omg😭😭😭 and i wanted to make a request for hazbin hotel if its possible, like the reader is from goetia clan, and somehow (i didnt think much about this request im sorry😭) ends up in the upper circle of pride ring, aka where hazbin hotel is, and i wanted it to be more alastor baised, because we know he doesn't like people who are stronger than him, and goetian are royals, so reader is stronger than him, i dont know you can wing it as you like i just really like your writing style!!
thank you!!!
under your skin.
summary: alastor despises aristocrat hellborns for the priviledged, unadultered power they’re born with, and he loathes you even more than anything else because you fall under every category he despises in hell.
a/n: winging it as we speak, nonnie & don't worry!! this made sense, and i just love this trope you submitted pls. and thank you!!
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alastor despises you.
it’s pretty straightforward, though he conceals it perfectly with that for-show smile of his. no one could’ve guessed that there was a demon in hell that made his blood boil to the highest degree.
but he made sure the façade never crumbled, even when you showed no interest in him and his sinister advanced to use you as leverage for him.
he remembers the day you came to visit the hotel to congratulate charlotte. alastor remembers all too well because you paid him no mind and had your fill in questioning his true power. that’s when he found out that he loathes aristocrat hellborns—you, specifically.
“who are you again?” you ask.
“oh, forgive me,” he smiles, his eyes narrowing into slits for a second.
“i am the host of the hotel! you might’ve heard of me from my radio broadcast.”
“radio?” you ponder aloud.
“and here i thought radio had been long gone. vintage,” you chuckle. a bow of greeting you returned. “but quite irrelevant nowadays, won’t you agree?”
the way he smiled... so rigid and on the edge, you already knew how to get under his skin.
“i suppose we have contradicting perspectives on the matter.”
alastor wants to murder you.
you and he were the only ones present in the hotel, with the others out and about with their daily activities to bump up their morale to be redeemed.
and all of the places you could’ve made yourself comfortable in, you decided to lounge in his radio broadcasting tower. the nerve. you’re about to set off all of alastor’s accumulated rage if you were to break anything or even misplace anything from their original position.
“i heard the rumors,” you tell him.
inspecting the surroundings, alastor’s alert enough to not let his guard down. it’ll never completely settle.
“of how you broadcasted the screams of the overlords you overtook.”
that piqued his attention.
you? having heard of him now? 
how pathetic.
“i’m well-aware of how i get under your skin,” you smile. “and i’m glad i’m able to do so. it’s entertaining to see your glare, how your aura shifts, and how your shadow mirrors your true emotions.”
“ha-ha, you’re quite observant, sir.” alastor forces him to laugh.
“then, i hope for you to broadcast my agonizing scream in this very tower one faithful day.”
the mood dips. the usually easy and light aura is suffocating, and alastor’s knees buckle, forcing him to kneel in front of you. all of this against his will, his eyes piercing through yours. 
this triggered alastor’s fight-or-flight appearance, the figure becoming sharp and menacing as if he were as much of a threat as he used to be—as if he were still in his rising prime. 
“because i love the challenge,” you conclude with a chipper clap. “and i’d love to see you try and fail miserably.”
“fuck you,” he spat, smiling. “where’s the originality when you’re only quoting my exact words? haha.”
“i thought you’d be much wiser than to question my motives. though, i suppose i should be heading to the main lobby as i hear charlotte and her party have just arrived.” 
“think about it, alastor. if you play your cards right, you might be able to make a deal with me—or even better, kill me.”
alastor was not a man of faith; he does not believe in gods and deities, but he does pray for the goetia’s downfall. and when the time is right, he will strike with all his might just to laugh at your misery.
satan, he’s obsessed.
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starqueensthings · 4 months
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A very Crosshair Character Analysis
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I posted a poll the other day looking for some opinions, and the prompt was: does Crosshair ever truly miss a shot? Meaning, of all the shots we’ve seen him aim and fire, how many of the few that didn’t land, were intended not to land? Does Crosshair have the skill and ability to land every shot he takes, and what of the ones that go astray (because there are some!)? The overarching, collective opinion (77% of votes) is that the sniper only misses a shot when he intends to, but let me explain why I was asking— the "methods behind my madness," if you will… (Fasten your seatbelts, and keep all extremities— and pitchforks— inside the ride!)
If Crosshair “doesn’t miss”, then there are some things that demand consideration and possible explanation. Please accept this weird internet essay as a deep dive into Crosshair’s character based solely on how I perceived his actions throught season one and two, and opinions I formed while watching his character develop. And while this could not be a Tech-approved analysis without touching on both his perceived good qualities and “flaws”, please know this is not a hate-on-Crosshair post.
Before I get into specifics, I think it’s imperative that we establish a basic understanding of his personality before the chip’s activation. While there is, sadly, not much “footage” we can use to form a true characterization of him, there are some instances we can touch on. The Skako/Anaxes arc from TCW and the earliest few moments of “Aftermath”, Crosshair is shown to be quite sarcastic, uninterested in trivial conversation, measurably combative toward those with differing opinions to his (seemingly all regs, including but not limited to Kix and Jesse), moderately argumentative toward leadership outside of his own Sergeant (mainly Rex, as Crosshair seems to have no qualms following Anakin’s or Cody’s orders), comforting to those who need it (Echo), and an overall good tactical team player.
So, let’s start this analysis by dialling things way back to their mission on Kaller and the complications that arose once Order-66 had been dropped. More specifically, hunting Caleb down in the forest. One of the things I noticed upon first watching that scene and every re-watch since, is how often Crosshair toggles back and forth between blaster bolt and stun cartridge on his rifle, as if constantly battling the indecision of exactly how he wanted to detain the Jedi. Now, if you remember, Tech com’s in and basically says [paraphrased obviously]: “Shit is starting to his the fan, we better get our butts outta here,” to which Hunter responds: ��Can’t. Haven’t found the kid yet.” Crosshair then chimes in with, what I have long-deemed to be his catch phrase: “Wrong,” and proceeds to shoot the branch that Caleb is perched on. Not Caleb, who, in Crosshair's mind, should be the rightful recipient of a kill shot… the branch. Hmmmm.
If every one of Crosshair’s shots is so masterfully aimed that its deemed an automatic hit, and thus every miss is intentional (a notion of which I also believe, less one particular shot which I’ll touch on a little later), then there would’ve had to have been a portion of Crosshair’s cognition overriding that Order-66 command to eradicate all Jedi, even if it was only enough to fleetingly switch his gun to stun.
Not long afterward, we see his beloved Firepuncher saber-whacked from his hands, and Crosshair opts to then continue his attack with his backup DC17. Missed shot, missed shot, missed shot, missed shot. Were these blown shots intentional as well? And if so, why does he continue to assail the Padawan? Is Crosshair only able to fight off the command to kill Caleb while his finger is on the trigger, possibly knowing that’s when the fight against his own mind becomes most crucial? Is he clinging to some autonomy in the moments where he’s not posing an imminent threat to those around him, like during the flight back to Kamino? Or can he only resist the chip’s influence when the urge to do something terrible is paramount?
Let’s skip ahead, shall we, to when the Batch is attempting to flee Kamino with Omega. Crosshair sashays onto the landing platform in his new gothboy armour, fresh out of an undescribed chip “augmentation” procedure (whatever that eludes to), and proceeds to have a small stand off with Hunter— both of whom have their weapons directed pointedly away from each other (interesting). During the succeeding fire fight, we see Crosshair line up several well aimed shots, many of which appear to be only inches away from landing on their “intended target”. He eventually succeeds in shooting Wrecker in the shoulder, and I’d like to point out that this shot lands almost exactly where Wrecker was hit by the training droid some hours/days previously. Was the placement of this shot intentional? Did Crosshair pick that particular target area knowing Wrecker would survive the damage?
The shot I find most intriguing is the one near-perfectly aimed at Hunter’s head (lol— brothers). You know, the one where Omega saves the day by unexpectedly blasting Crosshair’s rifle out of his hands. If the chip's activation was the reason he was now hunting them and claiming their treason, why had that moment seen him hesitate? Perhaps he needed a second to line up his shot, you might argue to which I would say argue: we’ve seen him use the active recoil from that same rifle to line up his next shot many times in quick succession with a zero margin of error (see the Skako/Anaxes arc in TCW and the first few minutes of Kaller), including when each shot was aimed at targets both more dynamic in action and further away than Hunter was.
Crosshair then takes several shots at the ramp of the Marauder as they take off, all of which are well aimed… and simultaneously redundant; the passengers are taking cover in the ship already, the Marauder has begun its take off, the ramp is closing, Crosshair running whilst knowing he can’t reach them. I personally attribute those last few shots as tokens of both anger and resentment for being left behind, not ones made with the intention of killing. I think that he expected his brothers to know him better than to believe these actions were of sound mind— he thought they’d be able to deduce that he was fighting a losing battle inside his own head, yet they were quick to believe he would actually entertain such sudden and aggressive hostilities toward them.
At this point, you might be itching to argue that maybe Crosshair's accuracy is largely diminished when he opts for a pistol instead of his rifle, and while I can't dispell this theory, I can provide some statistics. We see Crosshair use a pistol only four times in the entirety of the show so far: 1. against Caleb on Kaller (objective miss), 2. against the Batch Batch as their leaving Kamino (objective miss), 3. against a soldier while he and his new elite soldier squad infiltrate Saw's camp (direct hit), and 4. against Leiutenant Nolan when that asshole he gets on Crosshair's last nerve at the Outpost (direct hit). I will leave it up to you to decide if the theory of whether his skill level changes based on the weapon he's firing holds any merit, or is worth further discussion.
Moving on— the 99-clan is reunited on Bracca. Let’s turn our attention to the shot Crosshair takes at Tech whilst the latter was emerging from the ion engine, and I’m going to include pics this time to support my assertion.
Crosshair has an undeniably clear shot— his line of sight is not impeded, there are no environmental or atmospheric disturbances to disrupt his composure, he was ready and waiting for them to appear. The shot that he fires lands a good distance in front of Tech. Though the unexpectedness of it was enough to startle the genius into nearly falling out of the engine, I believe it was intentionally aimed this way (see below). A warning shot if you will. A “Hello, I outsmarted you and am waiting at your point of attempted escape. Stop trying, and get down here because I don’t want my new imperial cohorts to take aim for me and kill you” shot.
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The next arc (Ryloth) quickly demonstrates that any neurological augmentations he’s been subject to (at this point, I believe we've been shown two, but have been led to believe there were several), have had no effect on Crosshair’s infamous sniper skills. First, he fires a perfectly aimed tracking beacon onto the moving target of Gobi’s ship. Then, upon the ship’s return, uses a single shot to disable one of the engines; a shot taken from, what appears to be, several kilometres away and having the immediate desired affect of disabling the ship. Finally, he makes the astoungingly precise shot (and I’m using astoundingly very heavily here) of blasting Senator Taa in the head. This shot, more than the previously mentioned two, are a sign of his impeccable marksmanship. Let me remind you, he was an undisclosed albeit very far distance away, on the opposite ridge of an enshadowed canyon, and is still able to shoot the senator in a place in which HE WOULD SURVIVE the attack. And not just survive, “make a full recovery” as Rampart claims afterward. This is unrivalled accuracy, and while I do not support the assassination attempt in itself, I can not deny how much skill was required to have achieved it.
My next point is something I have always personally found quite compelling, and it occurs in an off-the-cuff, likely forgotten about piece of dialogue.
Brief context: Crosshair has scooped Hunter off of Daro, they’ve landed on Kamino, and the duo (and a third soldier) are on their way to the Command Center to await the rest of the squads arrival. One of Crosshair’s elite troopers waits until he departs the platform before approaching Rampart and saying: “I question the clone’s motives with his old squad. I don’t trust any of them.” I’m intrigued to know where such a potent mistrust began. Is it simply because he’s a clone? A person born and raised unnaturally in comparison to someone with a traditional gestation and upbringing? Or has this soldier previously identified possible cracks in Crosshair’s imperial facade? Has Crosshair failed to hide his distress in quiet moments where he possibly longs for the life he had with his brothers? What is it that triggers this soldier to suspect Crosshair has an ulterior motive in capturing his old squad, and one that they’re apparently worried would not coincide with Rampart’s ideals?
Ramparts reply, in my opinion, gives us a well disguised clue: “If his plan fails, none of them will be a problem any longer.” If his plan fails. Crosshair’s plan. Crosshair has a plan for mobilizing his old family into one place, and what is it? Is he concealing the hidden objective of a reunion with his brothers under the guise of squad assassination? Was it always his plan to eliminate his new elite squad members, hence the perfectly placed mirror pucks we see him utilize in the training room, to make room for his old squad?
Remember, Hunter asks him some time later: “So this was your grand plan? Bring us here and kill us?” Crosshair answers: “If I wanted you dead, you would be.” And this is a statement which I believe to be incontrovertibly true. He has never wanted his family dead, despite having both the resources and skill to ensure they would be if that’s what he desired, but no. He’s angry that he’d inherently felt more loyalty to them than they had shown to him; frustrated that their choices post-Kaller did not align with his expectations of their choices, disheartened that they hadn't initially recognized to his choices to be ones made outside his character, and Crosshair now eagerly rebuffs their every excuse. Reference the spoken: “They don’t leave their own behind… most of the time.” . . . “You tried to kill us, we didn’t have a choice.” . . . “And I did?”
And follows the: “We’re loyal to each other, not some empire.” . . . “You weren’t loyal to me. I was one of you. You may have forgotten, but I haven’t. And it’s why I’m going to give you what you never gave me: a chance…” conversation. (Just stab me in the heart and twist the knife around, Jennifer!!!! Ouch!!! I'm still not over this!)
Was this his plan? To lure his brothers back to their home, and indirectly beg them to join the empire? To offer them the chance to join the ranks of those who have relentlessly hunted them, in the hopes that there might be some semblance of safety in conformity? To reunite the elite squad that they were in the days of the Republic (the original elite squad of which Rampart is trying to replicate with tactically inferior recruited bodies), simply for the safety that joining the empire could potentially promise? Is this the first demonstration of Crosshair using hostility to shield those he cares about from the callous clutches of the empire that he’d become painfully familiar with?
Regardless of the still-unexplained motive, Crosshair’s plan fails. Hunter has either become, or has always been, as protective of his family as Crosshair is stubborn, and he would never willingly subject his brothers (and now sister) to a life of committing abhorrent war crimes in the name of an Emperor who rose, uninhibited, to extreme and unnatural levels of power whilst abolishing the Republic of which they'd previously served. That’s not what their squad was made to do, despite Crosshair trying to convince Hunter perhaps maybe it was.
Unsurprisingly, Crosshair’s pitch falls on deaf ears, even despite killing his elite squad as an offering of trust. Once the training droids have been taken care of and the fray had subsided, Crosshair stands to find Hunter now has a blaster pointed directly at him, as does Wrecker— (Echo and Tech, curiously, keep their weapons pointed away), and the tables have quickly turned. Hunter begins his own plea to his brother, and it leads to a very ambiguous admission. Hunter: “Crosshair, forget the empire. This isn’t you, it’s your inhibitor chip.” Crosshair: “Wrong. I had my chip removed a long time ago.”
What degree of this admission is true? All of it? Parts of it? None of it? Was Crosshair only told that his chip was removed during one of the apparently many augmentations he’d been subject to? Was it removed and replaced with an alternative? Or was it truly extracted, and his questionable actions have been entirely his own? If so, was it the fall of the Republic that spooked him enough to join the ranks of an unknown empire? Did the thought of disobeying orders bother him enough to sacrifice the family dynamic he’s always known, and replace it with a safe sense of conformity? And if this is the case, was missing all of the shots he’d aimed at his brothers, a veiled display of love?
Atop the water hours later, Tipoca City has fallen. Due to their imminent death, Crosshair and his squad have been forced to work together to survive. Tech makes a lingering comment about Crosshair’s unyielding personality being outside of his control, and it’s still ringing in our ears at this point because it implies that a lot of this misunderstanding may just be because of how strongly Crosshair forms opinions, and how only one of his brothers understands that about him. Omega is mid-drowning trying to save her droid friend, Hunter is .4 seconds away from leaping into Kamino’s frigid and turbulent waters to try and retrieve her… and we see Crosshair grab his rifle. This is a shot, of any, that I would expect him to miss— water both impedes and shifts the trajectory of a projectile and mathmatically accommodating for this would take some serious, well thought out calculation; the only usable light for aiming is from the burning remnants of their home, and the container in which Crosshair is perched heaves and tips with every wave.
But he doesn’t miss. He, again, demonstrates that he can make any and every shot he wants to. He lands his shot on AZI’s chest (not dissimilar to where he shot Wrecker, on an obviously smaller scale), and pulls Omega from the depths of the water. Upon turning to see his brothers poised and ready to shoot him if they deemed the need appropriate, I think Crosshair realizes how monumental the fracturing of their squad was. They have no trust left for him. His actions, powered by an inhibitor chip or not, quickly led them to believe he was not the person they knew him to be. As much as he desperately wanted to them understand how powerful the control of the chip was, they didn’t. And I think this moment robs Crosshair of some of his anger and resentment he harboured toward them, and reaffirms that his only option now is to follow the path he was first influenced to follow, regardless of if it’s what he wants now or not. He then chooses abandonment. He chooses to be left stranded on that platform, likely aware that the potential he’d perish there was high. His separation was now his choice.
Let’s move on to Season Two! Episode 3, appropriately named “the Solitary Clone”, indirectly shows us more about Crosshair than I believe any previous episode ever has. Crosshair’s marksmanship is, once again, on full display as he takes down an old separatist tank with one shot (I’m still reeling over it, ok? That shit made me horny). And I can’t move on from this episode without also mentioning how it ended— we know Crosshair has respect for Commander Cody, that was demonstrated by his willingness to follow Cody’s command while he rebuked others’ in the Skako/Anaxes arc. I think it’s also apparent by the return of his notorious sarcasm, that Crosshair is happy to see a familiar face, one of which he may have previously deemed a friend. Cody, in return, places tidbit of trust in Crosshair (I’m also going to link this post in case anyone is curious about my thoughts on Cody’s initial comments). Not only does the commander inch toward the precarious conversation about “going rogue” and the Order-66 debacle, but Cody lets Crosshair take the lead after their shuttle crashes on Desix. “Trust me,” Crosshair begs, and Cody accedes.
They gain access to the strong hold; Crosshair, Cody and Nova (RIP) struggle only mildly with the droid forces ("Droideka's."). Crosshair demonstrates more inhuman trigonometry abilities and immaculate skill by using those mirror pucks to shoot around corners. Cody saves Crosshair’s tushy when a Commando droid gets a little too close to the sniper. Crosshair lowers his weapon at Cody’s request while they negotiate with Tawny Ames, a motion he had otherwise refused earlier in the episode (the civillians they come across behind a closed door— Cody lowers his gun and reassures them, Crosshair does not.) And when the Empire shows its true colours by demanding that Cody renege on his promise of peace and assassinate the governor, Crosshair does not hesitate to answer the call.
Now superficially, this act would appear as nothing more than a repeat of his crimes on Onderon, or Crosshair simply “following orders” as he had previously developed into a sort of mantra. But I think it’s much more layered than that. I think Crosshair recognized that Cody would be subject punishment did he not comply, a notion reinforced by his extended time at Rampart’s elbow, where it was regularly displayed that clones were of little significane and use to this new military regime. What would happen to Cody as a result of his disobedience? Would he simply be demoted from Commander? Would he be court-martialed and questioned? Detained and imprisoned? Killed? Is this why Crosshair took action into his own hands, and “did what needed to be done”? To protect Cody from the repercussions of disobeying a direct order? Or, more harrowingly and something that I am more inclined to believe, was Crosshair protecting Cody from the poignant shame and self-hatred that he knew the Commander would feel if he DID comply? Was Crosshair unwilling to let the mind of another clone be tainted by the emotionless demands of the empire, so he took the action upon himself? Was his objectively unnecessary and cruel attack, an action of deep seated respect and appreciation? Is this why Cody's comment about living with the consequences of their decisions affects Crosshair so deeply as they separate at the end of the mission?
Let’s dial back to the debated intention of Crosshair’s shots— are his missed shots deliberately missed? Our next stop on this journey is The Outpost (my personal favourite, and not because of the dreamy, sardonic, bearded Commander Mayday), but because of the overt growth that we see Crosshair attain. (Here’s an analysis I posted a while back about some of the messages I think the writers were trying to convey via symbolism throughout Crosshair's episodes to this point). If you've read it and even partially subscribe to my theory, then we can agree Crosshair’s mentality has been shifting little by little since we saw him last, and his attachment to Mayday (and the adjacent benefit that Crosshair rediscovers in companionship and brotherhood) is proof of this. So here’s what happens— raiders make it inside the perimeter of the Outpost thanks to limited man-power and degrading equipment. Crosshair heads directly to where he knows he can play to his strengths: high ground. He’s taking quick and careful aim at the retreating insurgent when the nearby shuttle explodes, and something peculiar happens. Whether it be the blinding flash of the explosion magnified significantly by his riflescope that had caused him such immediate discomfort, or something more (chip alert? Maybe? Or residual effects of having it augmented so many times?), but Crosshair’s subsequent shot is not of his regular quality. He hits his target, so I am not deeming this as a shot missed, but Crosshair has a track record of “one-shots” or “kill shots” of which this is not.
I’m inclined to ramble on for centuries about this episode because there is simply so much development, growth, and symbolism that occurs in those 28 minutes— it’s truly a masterpiece in story telling, but I’ve deviated too far from the intention of this essay (novel) so let’s trek forward.
Let’s get to Tipping Point, and what I would deem to be his only failed shot (and the implications of what it might mean). Crosshair has been sedated, interrogated, injected, neglected, confused, and abused since arriving on Tantiss. (You guessed it, I also have an analysis of this episode, structured a little differently than my previous but still helps to break down what I deem to be the motives behind his actions). Hemlock first attempts to bribe Crosshair with his freedom in exchange for information on his brothers, and as such, divulges his true need for Omega. Crosshair, who has never really had the chance to bond with her like his brothers have, refuses to provide any information. And why? Having only a surface level relationship with Omega, and having rebuffed her advances for companionship several times, why would he protect her in the face of imminent chemical torture? Because it directly protects them, and they are no longer being hunted by a squad of recruited bodies lead by an angry brother... but by a twisted and cruel doctor who's methods were proven unorthodox and tortuous upon immediate introduction.
Upon awakening from another round of interrogation, Crosshair understands the time to act is diminishing quickly, as is his ability to refuse Hemlock the information he wants. Each interrogation leaves him physically and mentally weaker; the time is act is now. He shoots and kills the pair of troopers, as well as the interrogation droid, with no difficulty. He stuns Emerie the scientist (possibly recognizing her clone accent for what it is, thus opting not to kill her?), steals her access card, and stumbles from the room. His body is no where near recovered from whatever toxin that droid injected him with, and he staggers through the unknown halls. Quickly coming across a pair of troopers guarding a doorway, the next shot is the only one that I believe he truly missed, and understandably so. It lands on the wall between their heads, and Crosshair quickly realizing his failure, shoots them with the following two rounds.
While missing that shot is largely inconsequential to the overall story, I think it’s an important anecdote for his character growth. In that moment, Crosshair is both physically weakened and mentally desperate to get a message to his brothers, and it’s the combination of those that had his aim faulty. He’s found himself nothing more than a man broken… stripped of the celebrated titles he’d once possessed and mentally mined until simply raising and aiming a blaster, a motion he’d once found more innate as breathing, was a motion difficult for him. He's forsaken his family, lost his purpose, been rendered nothing but an experiment and a tool.
So to summarize this egregiously long essay of Crosshair’s character, I’d like to reiterate that he is human. As we all do, he has faults. A lot of his reasoning is arguably flawed. He makes poor decisions, often in haste without considering the ripple effect it may have. He is extremely stubborn, and he does not communicate well. And there are things he’s done and decisions he’s made that I can not personally elucidate and would love to openly discuss with other Crosshair enthusiasts (example, trying to incinerate his brothers in an ion engine— did he assume Hunter would double back again, and this is Crosshair’s attempt at forcing them into the open? Or is this one of the moments when he cannot fight off the chips control?). You don’t have to like him. You don’t have to agree with him or anything he says. You don’t have to like me or agree with anything I say, but as we head into the third and final Act of this remarkable story, it is worth determining which of his actions are superficially misunderstood, and which have a deeper meaning that a casual viewer might simply overlook.
Thank you for attending the Ted Talk that no one asked for.
Holly ♥️
**forewent the taglist as this is not my typical content
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sentientsky · 4 months
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On Crowley, the Starmaker, and the Disruption of Intergenerational Violence
(based on this post from @nightgoodomens) I started thinking about Crowley and the Starmaker and the way in which he's an engineer at heart. But then I started gathering screencaps and making gifs and stuff, and then I was thinking about how Crowley's doing a really good job of upsetting patterns of intergenerational trauma. (Of course I'm going to talk about childhood stuff, what did you expect from me??) CONTENT WARNING: this will involve discussions of childhood trauma and abuse (not explicit)
I'll be using they/them pronouns to refer to the Starmaker and he/him pronouns for Crowley. This is for no other reason than to help me differentiate in my own writing lol.
To preface, the Starmaker is so so important to me. You have no idea; they are my beloved, my everything, my most adored.
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I mean, look them. What a fucking cutie (i accidently/subconsciously picked up the habit of nose-scrunching because of this goofy little cosmic Bob the Builder)
They're also an engineer, a creator of worlds—someone who spins matter and existence into being.
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Their desire to create, to make things happen is carried throughout the story.
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(e.g., Crowley's rainstorm) He maintains a love for the universe and all the stars in the sky.
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So what does this have to do with intergenerational trauma? Well, as we've discussed time and time again, Crowley is deeply deeply traumatized by both the violence of Heaven and of Hell. Trauma, much like the worst fucking family heirloom ever, has the capacity to be passed down through the years. Let's get more specific. What is intergenerational trauma?
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(source)
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(source) For example, my grandfather has a horrific temper and lashes out as a way to cope with his emotions. In turn, my father learned that being abusive towards one's children was acceptable, and applied it to his parenting of me.
In this case, Crowley was abandoned and actively forced into, "a million-light-year freestyle dive into a pool of boiling sulphur" by God—someone who is functionally his parent. In Hell, he was subject to torture and other forms of cruelty. Unsurprisingly, that leaves a fucking massive mark on an individual. It would be very easy for him to simply replicate the patterns that he learned in his time as the Starmaker and turn cold/callous/cruel. And yet he doesn't do this. As mentioned here, he is kind and compassionate. He sticks around through continual rejections, despite having only known abandonment. He answers questions (invites them even). At the same time, the trauma hasn't had a nonzero effect on him, of course. He's redirected the violence into compulsive caretaking and a kind of need to prove himself, among many other things (totally not speaking from experience here. no siree!! *sweating*). Let's take a closer look at this (because I want to and you're stuck with me hehe): Questions As we saw in season 1, Crowley cites asking questions as the reason for his Fall (an idea which we see reiterated in season 2):
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Instead of replicating that same violence (by belittling, rejecting, or else lashing out at those who ask questions), we see him encouraging curiosity. Not only is this evident within the Starmaker,
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but also in Crowley himself, as we see with both Muriel and Jimbriel:
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Along the same lines, as he's been subject to a great deal of unkindness (understatement of the year), it would be easy for him to carry that cruelty forward (god knows my family has taken that route before. who said that!!!). Nevertheless, he remains kind, even to those who have hurt him (which isn't to say that you need to be or even should be kind to those who abuse you. abuser apologists are not a thing in this household). Kindness even in the face of mistreatment + anger Gabriel, as Crowley has mentioned, has the capacity to smite Crowley. He has actively tried to kill the love of his life. The mere presence of Gabriel in the bookshop triggers a fight or flight response in Crowley, and this disruption represents a violation of the safety of the bookshop that he and Aziraphale had established within the past however many years (see Alex's fantastic meta post for more detail regarding the bookshop becoming an unsafe space for Crowley: x)
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ignore my cursor. just pretend its a fly. shh shhh it's beez just being a silly lil guy (gn). i'm too tired to remake this gif, so this is what we're working with lol
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(AND THEN HE OFFERS HIM A HOT CHOCOLATE?!?!?!! couldn't be me) Case Study: The Plants (shoutout to @sighed-the-snake for their post about leaf spots) Even with regards to his plants, we see a widely different side of him beginning in the second season. In the first season, we witness him using the plants as a site of displacement/projection, in which he reenacts the violence he himself was subject to.
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However, in the second season, while we don't get a lengthy view of them, episode four gives us a quick glimpse into how this approach might have altered in the four years since.
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(please keep in mind that my vision is absolute dogshit, so apologies if you look at my little circles and go "what the actual fuck is she talking about?" i TRIED, okay????) Had this been the first season, these little guys wouldn't have been permitted to exist in the state they're shown here. We could argue, oh well, it's just because Crowley's been busy/distracted with other things. And while that may be the case, we've seen him preoccupied with the end of the world in season 1, and yet still exert control over the plants.
...I have no solid conclusion for this, as I'm still sick and my brain is like a bowl of stagnant dishwater at the moment. I'm not putting forth any new ideas or anything, so I guess this is all to say, "yay for cycle breakers!".
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coffeeadict61 · 10 months
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Humans Are Weird: Women's Intuition
Report #286
Topic: Gaze detection: in females
Gaze detection: the human phenomenon of becoming aware when another being is staring consistently/intensely at oneself.
In previous reports the topic of gaze detection has been covered but I have more specific information. While it has been observed in both male and female humans, it appears to be more heightened in the female variety. The reason for this, after talking with both parties, could possibly stem from two places:
1. A evolutionary need to better protect themselves in the female variety from predatory counterparts
2. A social or cultural pressure for the male species to suppress their emotions that trigger this "sixth sense".
The "female intuition" was demonstrated for me yesterday.
Lucy, or "Luce" if you know her well enough, is our first human crew mate of the female variety to be assigned to electrical. I was put in charge of walking her through her schedule. While doing so I observed many of the "men" glancing at her. Most watched with curiosity but after an hour or two of Lucy working along side her crew mates, I noticed that she had begun to avoid one of them. Cory Mattinson, a strongly built man around 30 human yrs of age. Lucy chose to work in the area furthest away from his, attempting to stay out of his line of sight, and sitting at a different table in the cafeteria even though he invited her to join him and his companions. While she was polite, I would use the human term "wary" to describe her behavior. I sat with her and the "women" from other departments during lunch break so that I could inquire what her strange actions inferred.
She seemed uncomfortable with my question but answered me directly. "He just gives me a bad feeling." A few of the others nodded in agreement. "What feeling?" I asked. "Just…like he was stalking me. He kept staring and I don't trust him." She explained. A woman named Rebecca elaborated a little. "It's our gut feeling. We can tell when someone is watching us or following us. We get a bad vibe." I tried my best to imagine this guttural feeling but I had more questions.
"Do you have this feeling around all men?"
Lucy ripped of a chunk of her "sandwich" (a common lunch time appetizer). "No, just the ones our instinct tell us are predatory. Creepy men with ill intent."
"This is instinctual?"
"Yeah, men have it too but it's more for suspicious stuff. Fight or flight is kinda similar, I guess."
"Do you all have the same "bad vibe" about the same person."
"Usually, but if there was a predator in our lives before, we will get that gut feeling around people who look, act, or talk like them where others don't." Rebecca answered. "I thought Cory was creepy too."
I was stunned. There survival instincts appear to learn and evolve out of life experience and trauma. I believe it should be closely studied in both the female and male gender.
I am also inserting a request to relocate electrician Cory Mattinson to another station or release him from his contract. His behaviors are threatening to our female staff and is a possible security risk.
Human Observer #5743
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kingdaddydaichi · 4 months
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☆ title: redefining (ch. 11) | ( ch. 10 ) ☆ ( ch. 12 - wip )
☆ pairing: cop!daichi sawamura x single mom!reader
☆ wc: 2.5k
☆ synopsis: four years after leaving your toxic ex, you find yourself a single mom to a 11-year-old boy named musubi, who harbors a lot of misdirected anger. you hear from his fifth grade teacher, mr. suga, more often than your own mother and a resulting friendship is born. meeting suga’s best friend wages a war between your head and your heart - one that challenges everything you think you know about love and police officers. neither are to be trusted. both have left you lost and scared when you needed them the most. so, when a cop comes knocking at love’s door, just how strong is your resolve to keep your heart under lock and key?
☆ warnings/notes: sfw. cop!daichi. mutual pining. angst. domestic disturbance. fear. idk like, the way daichi talks to subi might come across as patriarchal? but it's the way i feel like daichi would speak to him under the specific circumstances, how he knew he would get through to him. i am deeply sorry for the massive real-life time gap between chapters //sob. but i'm committed to finishing this series. my love for daichi and this story is settled deep inside my bones. I'M BACK BITCHES /aff 🫶🏼
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she's falling in love now losing control now fighting the truth trying to hide but i think it's alright, girl yeah i think it's alright, girl
losin control - russ
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Life can be a rip-roaring bitch sometimes, y'know?
The first week or so after your fallout with Daichi had been relatively easy. The fact that you were still angry at him helped a lot more than you'd have liked to admit. The battle to get him off your mind was constant, but all you had to do was remember the way his eyebrows angled inward when he yelled at you. You’d never seen him like that before and it had scared you, triggering your fight or flight response on top of the heart-wrenching pain of seeing him being a little too friendly with his ex.
But what you kept pushing down with all of your might was the fact that daichi was right. He had called you on everything you’d worked so hard to hide from him. The fact that he’d seen you so clearly scared you more than the look in his eyes when he raised his voice at you. He had been angry, yes. But a lot of hurt had weaved its way into his words as well.
Halfway through the second week, however, things started to go downhill. You found yourself reaching for your phone a couple of times to tell Daichi about something ridiculous or funny that had happened only for your fingers to stop short as your heart sank.
Oh. right. I'm not supposed to do that anymore.
You’d even tried venting to Suga about Daichi in hopes that he would validate you, but he wasn’t as sympathetic towards your plight as you would’ve liked: “But isn’t this what you wanted?” he'd said. “You’ve been saying that whatever the hell was going on between you two had an expiration date…” “You’re right. It’s probably better this way so you and Daichi can each find the people you wanna be with...” That last one had really dug deep - the thought of Daichi with anyone else made your heart splinter and your stomach wretch. But you had swallowed your heartache down with the lump in your throat and nodded with a meek “Yeah, exactly,” knowing deep in your bones that you didn’t mean a word of it. Suga knew it too.
The week after that was the week from hell. Crying in bed every night because you missed Daichi so much was made that much worse by your shitty week. Life could’ve just given you a normal week but NOPE. Every single day, multiple times a day, you’d pick up your phone to send him an angry text about your boss or the rude ass lady at the grocery store. Or the fact that some really, really important notarized legal documents got lost in the mail. Three trips to UPS, two trips to the post office, and $91.00 later the paperwork finally reached its intended destination via next day air. You wanted to ask him to arrest the incompetent twat who put your mailer on the wrong truck in the first place and then smile at his reaction. To top it all off, your son’s behavior had hit an all-time low. You’d been hoping that it would’ve improved after the disciplinary hearing, which Subi had attended as well but, if anything, his behavior at home had gotten worse too.
You wanted to call Daichi. You wanted him to come over and hold you as you curled into a ball against his chest. To feel his hands in your hair and his lips on your forehead telling you that ‘everything’s gonna be okay’. Because you’d believe it If Daichi was the one saying it. He’d make sure of it. But you couldn’t do any of those things and it made you cry. Like getting kicked when you’re already down.
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Daichi didn’t have it much better. 
He’d called and apologized to Yui, who had called him a “fucking asshole”. There was the drunk driver who had puked on him while doing his field sobriety test (he probably deserved that, he’d guessed). Then there was the day he got stuck directing traffic in a torrential downpour. The police-issued waterproof ponchos had done nothing for his wet socks and the sloshing in his shoes. 
There were also all the little annoying things that kept happening to him - his washing machine quit working (mid-cycle, no less), he got a flat tire (in a different torrential downpour), he stubbed his toe one morning while getting out of bed (talk about a rude awakening) - nothing too serious but just enough to piss him off. 
The worst of it was finding out his mom had to be hospitalized for Covid. She had to be on oxygen, but the prognosis was good. She was expected to be okay and eventually make a full recovery, but of course it made him worry about her nonetheless.
And through every bit of it, you were on his mind. He missed you something fierce. But some of the things you’d said still weighed on his heart:
“...how cruel can you be?” “You’re not even my type.” “Just go back in there and fuck your ex-girlfriend!”
That last one had hurt the most. Did you really think that lowly of him to think he’d do that to you? 
To be fair, he also remembered some of the things he’d said to you:
“Would you have liked it better if i’d introduced you as my fuck buddy…?” “What? Not toxic enough for ya?” “...you don’t have to be a jealous girlfriend about it…!”
They made him cringe every time he remembered. Sometimes the words you had thrown at each other kept him up at night.
Tonight was one of those nights…
Daichi was reading in bed, trying to take his mind off of you when his phone buzzed on his nightstand. Thinking it must be work-related at this time of night, he picked it up to see who was calling. When he saw your name on the screen, his heart wanted to claw its way out of his chest. What could you possibly want? Best case scenario was you wanted to apologize, but that could wait until tomorrow. If you didn’t want him to make you a priority anymore, he was going to honor that. Worst case scenario was you were reaching out to him for another booty call, and he was done with that. 
Either way, he let your call go to voicemail, but just as he was about to put his phone back down, your text came through as three little numbers:
911
Daichi sat bolt upright and immediately tapped the call button. Halfway through the first ring, you answered. “Daichi?” You were crying and he could hear a young man’s voice yelling in the background.
He sat forward in his seat, wide brown eyes darting this way and that. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Subi,” you cried. There was a loud bang accompanied by a muffled sob from you. “He threatened to hurt me and now he’s throwing things…”
Before you could say anything else, daichi was on his feet, throwing on a pair of sweats and a hoodie before heading for his front door. “You at home?”
“Y-yes.” you were crying so hard you were wheezing. “Daichi, please…please help?”
“I’m on my way.” His voice was remarkably low and stern and comforting as he told you to go inside your bedroom, lock the door, and stay there. He made sure you didn’t have any injuries and stayed on the phone with you for the 10 mins it took for him to get there. It normally took twice that long to drive from his place to yours, but he had his blue lights on, going well over the speed limit. 
“Daichi, I’m so scared,” you sobbed. 
“I’m almost there, (y/n). Just five more minutes. Come on, deep breaths.” He talked you down enough that you weren’t crying as hard. “Alright, I’m here. Do you know if he’s still in the house?” 
“Yeah, I can hear him. But the front door is locked.” 
“Do you feel safe enough to come out of your room and open it?” 
You’d heard Subi’s voice getting further away and the slamming of his bedroom door. “Yeah, I think so.” 
You slowly came out of your room and hurried to the front door, nearly collapsing in Daichi’s arms when you swung it open. He hugged you and told you everything was okay. He walked inside slowly, noticing some broken glass and other, obviously thrown, objects on the floor, and called your son’s name. Your pre-teen came out of his bedroom to find a man he didn’t recognize standing in the living room. 
“Who’re you?” he asked. 
“I’m Daichi, a friend of your mom’s. You must be Musubi.” 
Musubi narrowed his eyes at him and shrugged in response. 
“What’s been going on, man?” 
Your son crossed his arms over his chest. “Maybe it’s none of your business.” 
Daichi’s dark brown eyes remained steady on him. “Well, seeing as how your mom is my friend and she’s scared and crying, I’d say it is my business.” 
The boy rolled his eyes. “Whatever. It’s not that big of a deal-“ 
“Wrong again. Your mom doesn’t feel safe in her own home. That’s a problem. It’s just the two of you living here, right?” 
Subi shrugged. “Yeah, so?”
“Then that makes you man of the house, doesn’t it?” 
Your son’s eyes met Daichi’s for the first time since he first spoke to him. “Yeah, I guess.” 
“And as the man of the house, don’t you think it’s your job to protect everyone in it, including your mom?” 
The boy didn’t respond, but his facial muscles relaxed as he maintained eye contact with Daichi. He had his undivided attention now. He was speaking to him man to man and your son was listening intently. 
“It’s a big responsibility to be in your position,” Daichi went on, nodding towards you. “Your mother and her safety are under your watch. She doesn’t feel safe with you when you’re the one who’s supposed to be protecting her.” The off-duty police officer's voice remained calm and even as he tilted his head. “So tell me, Musubi: do you really think you’re qualified to be man of the house?” 
You watched and listened with awe as Daichi took command over the situation, showing Subi what it means to be in full control. He leveled with your son while making him feel validated and understood. Rather than telling Subi how he should talk to you, Daichi did far more by showing him what it means to be a good man; he was teaching Subi how to treat others with respect in the way he spoke to him - by demonstrating to him that you get respect from others by being respectable.
Your son’s gaze fell under the weight of Daichi’s words. His beliefs about what it means to be a “man” had just been challenged and shaken to the core. He thought it meant being loud and aggressive, lording over others, calling the shots and expecting others to submit to him - no doubt all the tactics he’d learned from watching his father. 
“You think you’re in control here? Because, from where I’m standing, it doesn’t look like it.” The boy’s gaze followed Daichi’s as he looked around at the broken items in the room before looking over at you, still trembling and sniffling. “If you lose control, it means you don’t have it, Musubi. It’s that simple. Do we have an understanding?” 
The boy’s eyes locked with Daichi’s again and he nodded. 
“Good man. Now,” Daichi said with quiet authority, “Clean up the mess you made.” It wasn’t a request.
“Yes, sir,” Subi murmured as he started picking up the pieces. 
You couldn’t believe the words that just came out of your son’s mouth. Yes, sir? You looked up at Daichi - The Musubi Whisperer - wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Never even raised his voice and had him under his complete command. 
“(Y/n), can I talk to you for a minute in the kitchen?” Daichi said it just loudly enough that your son could hear how his mother should be talked to - by asking, not demanding. 
“Of course.” You followed Daichi until your son was out of earshot, then whispered, “How the fuck did you just do that?” 
Daichi shrugged. “I’ve had a lot of experience. Oldest of 5 kids. Team captain. Cop.” You smiled and nodded, wiping the last of your tears away. He put a tentative hand on your shoulder. “You okay, (y/n)?” 
“I think so,” you sniffed, wiping your freshest tear away with your shirt sleeve. “I’m so sorry to have troubled you, but you were the first person i thought of-” 
Daichi shook his head and pulled you into his arms. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m glad you called me.”
Whether it was the catharsis from the highly charged situation or your need to feel Daichi close was irrelevant when you fastened yourself to him. Before you could think, your arms were around his waist and your head tucked against his chest. 
“Thank you,” you said, your shaky voice muffled by the warmth and weight of Daichi’s arms wrapping tightly around you.
“If it happens again, call me again. If you need anything at all, call me,” he said, rubbing your back. This was the Daichi you’d known all along and fucking hell, you missed him.
You tightened your hold around his waist. You were so immensely relieved to hear him say that. Maybe he still wanted to be the one you called. Just maybe he wanted to be the one you needed. 
“I will,” you said, nodding against his chest.
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Before he left that night, he shook Subi's hand. “Take care of your mom.” 
“Yes, sir.” Holy hell, there it was again. Daichi hadn’t even told him to call him sir. Leastways, not with words. How did he do that?
“Do I have your word?” Daichi asked, squeezing Subi’s hand. “Yes, sir.”
“Alright, I’ll stop by in a couple days to see how things are going," he looked at you, "...if that's okay." 
Your son’s lips pursed as he fought back a smile as he watched you nod. “Okay.” 
After Daichi left, Subi said, “You should find a guy like him, Mom.”
Your mouth dropped open, your heart skipping a million beats. Your son had no idea who Daichi was, what he did for a living, or the highly complicated nature of your relationship with him. Finally, you smiled and said, “Yeah? He’s a good guy, huh?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “He’s alright.”
Your son turned to you with his shoulders slumped and tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Mom.” 
Your body shook with tears as you nodded against his shoulder. “I know, baby. I love you so much.” 
Subi squeezed you tighter as he told you he loved you too.
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ch. 10 ☆ ch. 12 (wip)
series mlist | daichi mlist
☆ taglist: @chaoskrakenuwu ☆ @ceo-of-daichi ☆ @honeybunny-sawamura ☆ @yuujispinkhair ☆ @luvkun4 ☆ @briokayama ☆ @mrs-sawamura ☆ @heroesfan101 ☆ @millenialfanfictionaddiction ☆ @citrustsuki ☆ @darthferbert ☆ @crystal-lilac ☆ @hannas16 ☆ @cookiesandmilksx ☆ @strawberrystepmom ☆ @anejuuuuoy ☆ @maexc ☆ @little-ms-awkward ☆ @patheticliesblog ☆ @strawbmarma ☆ @lomons ☆ @victorianhorrors @gazzybums ++ ask/dm/comment if you wanna be added to or removed from a taglist
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superserioussirius · 8 days
Text
may 6th - first kiss
919 words - @wolfstarmicrofic
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
remus fiddled with the feather of his quill, absently tickling his own nose. he was looking down at the textbook in his lap, his face scrunched into perpetual frustration, so focused that he didn't notice sirius staring at him.
the other's textbook was forgotten long ago, and remus was several pages ahead of him by this point. his essay seemed leagues less important than the boy in front of him.
sirius just couldn't help it. the way his unruly blonde hair fell in his face, and how his amber eyes glowed like warm honey. he knew remus must be the most beautiful person alive. he was truly irresistible.
the blonde looked up at that thought, and sirus just about jumped out of his skin.
" i'm stuck. " remus admitted, putting down his quill.
sirius chuckled, " me too. this is boring, yeah? "
remus endearingly tilted his head to the side, and sirius felt like keeling over from affection.
the blonde mused, " it's actually quite interesting to me at least, but you think anything short of near-death is boring, don't you? "
sirius solemnly shook his head, his earrings jingling together, " that is far from true. "
" oh yeah? "
" mhm. "
" what can i do to get you to pay attention then? "
the answer hung on the tip of sirius's tongue.
*just be yourself.*
sirius wasn't one to be timid, but remus lupin triggered his fight or flight.
" i just need some help. "
" with? "
" my essay i mean. "
remus closed his textbook and put it to the side. the blonde stood and plopped himself down next to sirius on his bed.
" what in specific is troubling you? " remus asked, crossing his legs to face the other.
sirius flipped a couple pages ahead quickly, pointing to a random section.
remus paused for an uncomfortable moment to scan the page, and sirius started to sweat. but he then cocked an eyebrow, giving sirius a confused look.
" you're confused about... basic spells? "
sirius blanked, it'd landed on the next chapter's page.
he was in too deep, he had to act it up now.
" yeah... i just don't get it. "
" magic... in general? "
sirius shrugged, leaning back on his right arm.
remus grumbled, bringing sirius's paper and textbook into his own lap. the blonde-haired boy began to scribble some things down.
now that he was an arm's length away, sirius could admire the other more dutifully.
he loved the way remus mumbled to himself. little words slipping out, bringing him deeper into his work, he felt it was adorable.
as he watched his focused gaze, sirius admired the other's devotion to his studies, even if it was misplaced now. though that was his own guilt to bear, he felt it was worth every second.
the boy followed the others scars up his face with his eyes, he studied the valleys and edges, the way they made across his face. he wondered where they came from, what would make such a terrible mark on such a perfect man?
remus shot a pointed glance up at him, and sirius tried to look away, but remus must have noticed.
" what's wrong? " remus asked.
sirius felt his face warm, " nothing, just watching you murder my essay. "
" it seems your essay isn't being written on my face, unless i'm mistaken. "
sirius knew he was in for it now, but his stupid audacity kept it going.
" well maybe i could get a closer look, and i'll let you know. "
remus looked back down at sirius's work, " don't be make me laugh. "
" i'm not trying to. "
sirius gently grabbed remus's chin with his thumb and forefinger, bringing his freckled face towards his own.
the two locked eyes for a blissful moment, and sirius felt every atom in his body urge him to just *do it*.
remus looked to the side, and slid the textbook and papers off his lap.
" sirius... "
the other braced, he already figured remus didn't like him like that. he wasn't even gay, why did he ever hope?
sirius's adrenaline dropped and with it went his confidence. but just as he was about to make his escape, remus locked eyes with him again.
the blonde's eyes softened, and he hesitated for a moment.
" remus, i- "
the other grabbed the back of sirius's head, tangling his scarred fingers into his black hair. and in a moment, their lips were pressed together.
sirius felt over the moon.
he slipped his palm onto remus's cheek, returning the kiss.
just as quickly as it happened, remus pulled away, his face red as a tomato.
" i'm sorry, " the blonde blurted out.
sirius was sure his face was the same hue, " don't be. "
the two carefully watched each other for a short while, and sirius thought about slipping his fingers into remus's.
after a beat, the other glanced out the window, " it's getting late, i really ought to go- "
remus rushed to collect his textbook and bag.
" wait, what about our assignment? " sirius posed, wishing he could beg remus to stay.
the blonde slung his bag over his shoulder, " tomorrow? "
sirius nodded defeatedly, " tomorrow, then. "
remus left in a hurry and closed the door behind him.
once sirius was sure the other was gone, he dramatically fell back onto his bed, butterflies dancing around in his stomach.
never before had sirius had a crush like this. he grabbed his pillow and felt like screeching. with girls it was easy, but with remus...
oh how he prayed that remus would kiss him again tomorrow.
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plutoswrath · 2 years
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Hey Luca, how's it going? I'm really not if you've ever done this before a long time ago but now I want to know your observations on the red flags in composite. Specifically romantically, like case in point 'forget commitment, could this possibly lead to heartbreak or a tragedy full of regrets'? Just to keep in mind of them since I know we each have to give our inputs in a relationship :D
𝕮𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖑 𝖆𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕮𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖙
Hello! I've written a post about 'key placements' in synastry and composite and what to look out for, you can look at it here, maybe it'll help you too! x
A reminder, that your natal chart and synastry will play a huge role in how you'll personally experience and deal with these aspects and placements! And yes it's true, regardless of certain aspects and placements in composite you can still have a succesfull and loving connection! I can confirm, the people that are basically my soulmates and the loves of my life that stuck with me through thick and thin share stereotypical 'horrible' composite with me lmao not even our synastry is that great but we lead very healthy and loving friendships <333
Disclaimer: I will focus on the WORST outcome of these aspects, if you are easily triggered by these hypothetical possibilities I'll advice you to NOT read this post! Thank you x
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✦ First of all, I want to talk about Pluto in the Composite: critcal placements of and aspects to Pluto can create power struggles, mind games, secrets, paranoia, insecurities and at worst (I repeat, this is only the worst case scenario!!) forms of abuse due to that in a connection. I would say every harsh aspect to Pluto and the personal planets or the angles can feel deeply uncomfortable over time, but I will focus on a few aspecs that I want to highlight since I think they can be especially precarious in a composite chart.
✦ Moon square/Inconjunct Pluto: Will start out with this banger aspect and just straight up say that especially if Neptune and Mercury are also critcally aspected and you have 8th and 12th house placements ON TOP of that then there's going to be lots of build up emotions, trust issues, fear if re-living old trauma, assumptions, and power struggles due to that. Attachement issues. One person might be more visbly emotionally distressed due to the paranoia and feel unsafe in the relationship, the other person might withhold information/feelings and will grow the resentment quietly, but both parts will try to control the situation on their own. The advice here is to be open and upfront with feelings, to talk about worries and especially to be open with any sort of trust issues/past bad experiences you fear of resurfacing! No power plays, both partners need to be willing to be honest and be completely vulnerable. Emotions should be validated, heard and the worries of the other handled with care and grace. This aspect can harvest a lot dark and negative emotions quickly, watch out for it to not become a self fulfilling prophecy.
TW ✦ Mars square/inconjunct (would even say conjunction has the potential too) Pluto, especially if it's in a water house: The build up to the explosion might take a while, but both can probably easily feel the underlying tension. Both want to have it their way, and here, values and deep rooted fears and intenalized beliefs play a role in it. We deal here with the instinctive flight, fight or fright response, only in this case chances are high that this will be pure fight (in the passive way Pluto plots its revenge though). It can be an aggressive aspect and in my opinion way nastier than harsh aspects between Mars and Sun, because at worst (!), this can be about emotionally, mentally and physically controlling and therefore abusing the other. While Mars and Sun in negative aspects can be equally frustrating, this aspect can point and reveal to painful truths, fears and insecurities about the people involved. Lovers to enemies trope, seeing each other as a thread. I think water houses make it worse because these houses deal with our psyche and emotions, our uttermost vulnerable parts, great damage can be done here. For example if you'd have this aspect in the 4th house, your home could be a psychological battelgound. The fighting could happen at home, behind close doors, etc. END TW
✦ Sun square/inconjunct/opposite/conjunct Pluto: The theme of power and power struggles can become the core themes of the connection. Therefore this can be rally exhausting over time, both people feel like they are constantly trying each other (even if the other didn't do so) and that they can't catch a break when they're together. It's like there's always something waiting around the corner they have to tackle. One or both can be too demanding of another. If feelings fade, both might be afraid that the relationship loses its meaning and becomes too dull. This is were the constant emotional highs and intensity will show their addictive side and cause fear of the mundane, the healthy.
✦ Pluto can be tricky in every house, but I'll say in the composite I'd say the 1st, 4th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 10th and 12th house can be the most complicated ones, but it's really dependent on other aspects and influences. The 12th house especially can point to the relationship ending by some bitter truths being revealed, leading to a painful end.
✦ Neptune square/inconjunct the personal planets: Do I have to say it? You called it, it's mainly about the dellusion aspect and yes, it's necessary to acknowledge that both parties can chase a dream that might not be really found in reality. It can lead to deceiving behaviour, idealization, lying, strong disappointment and even resentment when finding out the other person/relationship is not living up to your dreams. It can also talk about trying to make the relationship work, when outer circumstances are working against it! Here, I want to mention Uranus. While Uranus in harsh aspects to the personal planets can point to on-off behaviour and feelings, I think more often it can also lead to outer circumstances forcing you to be physically apart. Due to sudden events, you might spend lots of times apart, having to rely other forms of communication and socializing to keep the connection alive.
✦ Generational planets conjunct/in close harsh aspects to Saturn: Can feel like outer circumstances breaking your foundation apart. It's not like you can't work this out, but can feel like your world is falling apart in one minute, with Saturn being nvolved the two people can feel way top defeated and pessimistic to try again or fight against outer circumstances and individual shortcomings to try again and make the connection work.
✦ Personal planets conjunct/in harsh aspect to Chiron:This doesn't have to be a dealbreaker, but given the nature of Chiron, definitely worth a mention. Especially when Moon and Venus are involved, loving each other is working through pain and healing together, Being vulnerable and intimate with each other can bring the biggest pain, but also the biggest reward. Love that feels heavy and dutiful, love that requires high amount of maturity (!). Both need to be responsible for their own pain. Being together might feel bittersweet. Similar feelings can arise with Chiron in the 8th, 7th, 12th, 1st.
✦ Black Moon Lilith being strongly present in the composite chart: I'm talking close aspects, contacts to the personal planets, the angles, NN/SN. BML can point to self destructive behavior. Two people acting out on their desires too much, indulging fully in chaotic energy without caring about the consequences. This pair might have to undergo a lot of judgement and stares from the public, which can tear them apart too. One part tries to controle the Lilith nature of the other. In general, in order to benefit from srong Lilith energy in composite and synastry both people have to respect the other and have to align their individuals powers! Disputes due to different values and ownership can occure as well with Lilith being prominent in this chart.
✦ This is not an aspect, but look at aspect patterns in your chart and potential apex planets in order to identify re-occuring themes and problems in your relationship!
✦ People often are often afraid about (personal) planets in the 12th/8th house or stelliums there, since they can indicate secrets or hiding the partner/relationship from the public, but I would digress and say that these placements grand two people extreme intimacy, the only thing I'd suggest is to always communicate, be transparent and give each other the emotional space and time to open up and grow together in a very natural and authentic way.
✦ Sun in conflicting aspects to Moon, Venus, Mars, Saturn, more so when multiple of these planets form tight, critical aspects with the Sun: Can indicate that there are just certain parts 'missing' in the connection that would lead to emotional and physical fulfillment that you need to address and work on. Again, Mars and Sun can talk about a clash of egos and pulling towards different directions, too much egocentrism, no team player mentality, lack of direction, Saturn often hints towards outer circumstances making it harder for two people to be together, both can be very pessimistic and have a hard time continuing to invest into the relationship.
✦ Having a very prominent, very afflicted Jupiter: Jupiter is the point in composite were our (shared) hopes, desires and talents come together, were we collaborate in order to create our own luck and strive for it, it's the soul of the relationship. Having Jupiter in a critical position can lead to a lack of fulfillment, we feel like our soul can't grow and expand in the relationship, uninspired to make the best out of life.
Credit: plutoswrath on tumblr, 2022. Please don't copy and repost my work.
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angelosearch · 5 months
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okay had this thought in my head for awhile just wanted to put it down somewhere. This is me trying to apply psychology/neurology/therapy concepts to the GF game mechanic.
Gaurdian Forces. They provide incredible power, increased defense, amazing abilities, and super attacks. In exchange, they occupy the part of the brain that handles memory (and I would argue specifically long-term memory).
In real life, when you encounter a scenario that triggers your amygdala (flight or fight response), your amygdala hijacks the rest of your brain as it is focusing on just keeping you alive in that moment. Sometimes that means you develop a memory of the scenario that is crystal clear, as you had focus on specifc things in the moment to stay safe. But other times it can result in ineffective storage of memories - they are fragmented or impaired.
So in FF8, these child soldiers are being asked to trigger there amygdala on a daily basis with combat. Children are already traumatized more easily because they have less context of what a threat is. Is it that summoning the gfs make you forget, or are you breaking your brain being forced into fight-or-flight scenarios because you have gfs equipped so you are physically strong enough to face those battles?
Alternately...
In the therapy modality of Internal Family Systems (IFS), clients identify 'parts' of themselves. Like "part of me is angry about this, part of me feels ashamed of this," etc. Some of these 'parts' play a bigger role than others. These are called the 'Protectors' and they are parts you develop to keep you 'safe.' (Mentally or physically.) Protectors are basically our internal coping skills, good or bad. A certain Protector may make sense when you were in one unsafe scenario, but now that you're out of it, that coping skill may be holding you back in your present situation.
ANYWAY, Protectors can take the form of blocking memories. These Protectors can give you "strength" and save you from being vulernable, but at what cost?
Your memories.
Anyway I guess the point of this ramble is Squall is the strongest because he's the most traumatized.
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Hello! I think I've got a good one. First off, for the sake of this request, let's pretend that Rook was somehow able to attend Camp Vargas (We're reaching SO far, but it's fine) and he has a male s/o who was also attending the camp (whether he's Yuu or not, I'll leave up to you), but he has serious trauma from being kidnapped by a serial killer when he was younger. And so, when Vargas captures and ties him up, the reader starts losing it and having a panic attack, thinking he's going to die. How would Rook react to this?
Hey, Anon! Thanks for sharing your brain rot ideas regarding Rook, because we love our ridiculous and theatrical hunter. Truly a wild set of circumstances I've been presented, but I love it!
Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if I saw Rook attending Camp Vargas purely because the man is so athletic. He wields a huge bow with great accuracy and is proficient in stealth. He would easily be able to sneak in and just lay in wait, taking pictures secretly in the trees. The reason he would be there in the first place would absolutely be to take photographs.
Honestly, even without the extremeness of "got kidnapped by a serial killer," I can see someone having a panic attack just in general by getting kidnapped. I mean certain traumas can trigger people's fight, flight, or freeze response and it's a big mood.
What will come next is just me free writing my ideas for this, so here's y'all's present I guess lol. Also, note that I have not actually read the Vargas Camp event, but have a vague idea of what kinda went down during the event lol.
Oh my god, wait, to elaborate on this idea or whatever. I could totally see Rook in the trees, watching the whole kidnapping thing go down. Then, when Vargas would leave to claim his next unsuspecting victim, Rook would drop down next to you. Cooing in your ear that you were safe and are going to be ok, he would cut the ropes off you. Probably holding you close and just rocking you back in forth lovingly while you calm down from your panic attack. You would probably be clinging onto him and his big muscles like a koala. He would be whispering sweet words of affirmations in your ear, as he moves you to somewhere safer. Aka away from the pile of other victims lol...
You know, he would probably cut the other victims free just to cause some more fun chaos and trouble for Ashton. He probably knows that the person behind the kidnappings was Ashton anyway, because Rook is so perceptive... I could totally imagine him deciding to exact a "friendly" revenge on him for messing and actually traumatizing his beloved by telling the other victims that the culprit was Ashton and maybe some other important information to help them successfully get back at their teacher lol. Rook wouldn't have time in the moment to personally get back at him, because he would be too busy taking care of you!! Ahhh, so sweet! We love our hunter boy. Taking care of us and making sure that we feel ok and safe (in his arms lol). I can imagine that there would be cuddles as you hear the sounds of absolute chaos and screaming in the distance perhaps watching the whole fight go down from afar. The kids rebelling and enacting a revolution to overthrow Vargas. Sounds about right. I wouldn't be surprised if that would happen in game low key lol.
Ohhhh, and you know what would be the cherry on the cake? Having the reader specifically thinking and praying (maybe whimpering lol) while they're getting kidnapped that Rook would save them even though he wasn't at camp or whatever. And then having Rook actually show up?!!! *throws myself on the floor and dies* It's such a good idea. Good job, anon, you've successfully murdered me.
You also surprisingly got me to vaguely write/elaborate on your request low key, and that my dude is a feat within itself. Like I'm truly impressed. *applauds you from the floor*
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loudlooks · 22 days
Text
Day 4 - Getting stung by a very persistent bee
30 day challenge notes: quantity over quality, limited editing, stand-alone stories unless specifically stated otherwise, not always tiva, chronologically randomly set in whatever pre-s11 season seems to fit
Tag for blocking/following: 30 days of spring
Prompt: Getting stung by a very persistent bee
Word count: 694
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A buzzing right next to her ear, triggered Ziva’s fight or flight response. She had never liked bees, not since one had stung her as a toddler. It was nothing more than a vague memory, really, but after several adults had repeatedly reminded her of it throughout her childhood, the harmless, albeit painful, event had left a mark on her.
Trying to evade the offending bug, she roughly bumped into Tony, his frown going completely unnoticed by her as she tried to get a visual on the bee. With uncharacteristic imprecision, she swatted at a black spot moving erratically to her left.
“Big bad ninja afraid of a little bee?” Tony said, sounding a bit too gleeful.
Ziva ignored him as she moved around in an attempt to get away from the bee.
“Are you allergic?” Tony asked, confused about his partner's panicky behavior.
“No,” Ziva grunted, as she took another swing at the unpredictable bug, and missed.
“Okay, then,” he spotted a rose bush a few feet away, and pointed at it, “calm down, and let’s walk over there, maybe it’ll get distracted by the flowers.”
The bee dutifully followed, unfortunately it did not let up on bugging Ziva. It hovered ever closer to her face, the buzzing getting louder. Another swipe only resulted in her slapping Tony on the arm.
“Stop swatting, you’re making it angry.”
“It is making me angry!”
“Just, stand still,” Tony said firmly, briefly pinning her arms to her side as he tracked the bees movement. When the bee made another attempt to get close to Ziva’s face, he let go of her arms and calmly held a hand between the bee and Ziva. Gently, he guided it towards the rose bush, without ever touching it.
“See, easy does it,” he said confidently.
Logically, she knew this, but when it came to bees, there was a Grand Canyon sized gap between logic and emotions. She clenched her hands into fists, willing them to stay at her side as she kept a close eye on the hovering bug.
Tony took his eyes of the bee to glance at Ziva, who still very much looked like she was about to throw hands with anything that came within a six foot radius. He watched her eyes go wide, the exact moment he felt a faint tickle on his cheek.
“It’s fine,” he said reassuringly as the bee moved closer to his chin, then made a beeline to his nose. Watching Ziva narrow her eyes as she lifted her arm, while the bee took a closer look at his left nostril, made mild panic rise inside of him. Surely a bee sting would be less painful than getting punched in the face by Ziva.
He held out his left arm in an attempt to stop Ziva, and swatted at the bee who was now investigating his upper lip. The burning sensation was more painful than the initial sting, but it definitely paled in comparison to Ziva’s right hook.
Ziva reached out to him with a pained expression, and moved his hand away from his lip, tilting his head towards her with her other hand to get a closer look.
“How bad is it,” he asked, “botched lip injection bad?”
She frowned, then her features relaxed and she patted his cheek with her right hand. “You can barely see it.”
“You should feel it, though,” he said with mock gravity.
Ziva tilted her head and softened her eyes. The corners of her mouth quirked upwards right before she gently, but all too briefly, placed her lips on his.
Tony grinned, the bee sting all but forgotten, and asked, “What was that for?”
“Kiss and make it better, yes?”
He licked his lips, never breaking eye contact. “I don’t think it’s working, try again.”
Ziva raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips.
“I saved you from certain death by bee.”
“I told you, I’m not allergic.”
“You would have died a thousand deaths if not for my brave sacrifice.”
She chuckled, and kissed him again, a little longer this time.” You are going to milk this, aren’t you?”
“Oh yeah,” Tony said smiling widely.
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