#but maybe someones trauma??

[twinstxrs]

so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fig faeth #ruben hopclap #lucy frostblade #the rat grinders #adaine abernant #kipperlilly copperkettle #watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!! #this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk #like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was #what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god #my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season #the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands #also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally- #changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk #but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up #they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here #there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows #the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!! #anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance

[pangur-and-grim]

What’re Pangur and Grim like at the vet? Do they try to befriend the vet or hate them?

Grim has changed, which makes me really sad. the vet used to have a hard time listening to her heart, because she'd be purring so loudly and head-bumping their hand.

a couple years ago, she went in for surgery to get a potentially cancerous lump cut off her head, and since then she's acted extremely fearful at the vet. it's hard now to get her out of the carrier.

Pangur, on the other hand, has never changed. she scream-meows nonstop, tries to climb me (hooking her claws into my clothing), and generally does her best to resist anything done to her.

#maybe someone was too rough with Grim at the clinic where she got surgery? #or maybe going through a surgery is enough trauma in of itself #either way I'm sad that my happy head-butting cat is now so terrified

[hauntedhotel]

Kinda obsessed with the difference between Martin's perspective during the apocalypse and Jon’s.

It's the difference between "I know you might hate me right now" and "I love you, I always will, and I know you love me"

It's the difference between Jon not being able to trust anyone, not even himself, but never for a second doubting that Martin loves him and Martin never being sure Jon’s feelings for him won't change.

It's the difference between Jon not always being loved perfectly and Martin having never been loved before.

It's Jon spending the entire apocalypse telling every monster they come across that Martin is his boyfriend, have you met Martin, this is his boyfriend Martin, his anchor, his last tie to humanity, his reason to still be hoping for a better ending. It's Martin telling his Lonely-self that if it comes down to it he'll ask Jon to destroy him and not being sure whether Jon will say no.

Even the jealousy, which is slightly played for laughs, still comes down to Jon being like "aw my boyfriend's getting all possessive 🥰" whereas deep down Martin has never let go of the idea that under different circumstances Jon could do better.

They're more emotionally open with each other during the apocalypse than they are for the years leading up to it, and they still don't stop misunderstanding each other.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jmart #teaholding #tma season five #tma spoilers #hotel talks about tma #maybe ill write a postcanon fic #where they fix things or end up somewhere else #and martin thinks that the only reason they were together is that jon needed an anchor #and didn’t have a lot of people around him #and he wasn’t really himself or thinking clearly #and he thinks he needs to give jon the chance to move on and find someone else #but jon just thinks martin was serious when he said the only thing that brought them together was the trauma #and now they can just have a normal life he thinks martin no longer wants him #it would be very self-indulgent anf angsty #but id give it a happy ending

[odetojupiter]

so, we know that abuse and victim responses to abuse are very central to aftg, but what i find interesting is how other characters respond to the victim’s reactions, especially when it comes to mourning their abuser. there’s something about kevin mourning riko, aaron mourning tilda, neil mourning mary, andrew mourning cass, thats so important to me because it really truly highlights how even when people are united through similar traumas, the differences in their situations makes it impossible to fully understand the relationship a person has to their abuser. neil, aaron, and andrew are united through the abuse, neglect, or - what the fuck is the word i’m thinking of? permit? condone? i mean, knowingly allowing it to happen and not intervening - stemming from a maternal figure. but neil can’t understand why andrew would hold on to cass for so long - he refused to let her go until aaron came into the picture. and andrew can’t understand why aaron would mourn for tilda, potentially viewing aaron’s grief as a betrayal of their promise. and they all ridicule kevin for his reactions to riko. of course, neil and andrew are also abused by riko, but they still can’t understand the complicated relationship between kevin and riko because, at the end of the day, they just weren’t there.

i mean this is primarily an observation but i really love how trauma and trauma response is depicted as nuanced, complex and overall just difficult to understand from an outsider perspective in the books. it reads as really real, and though it can be frustrating when a character doesn’t understand a different character’s response, you have to understand that their perception of said character’s response is warped by their own experience of abuse.

andrew bounced from home to home, never had stability, so obviously he held tight on to the first mother-figure that didn’t outright hurt him. his self-worth was probably low enough that he thought living with drake was a fine price to pay to keep cass.

neil only ever had his mother, and he’d willingly accept her harsh hands because he believed she was just keeping him safe from the very real dangers that were closing in on them.

aaron was dealing with an addiction, and so was his mother; he was equally dependent on her to avoid withdrawal as he was scared of her anger.

i don’t really have a point anymore but you get what i’m saying

#or maybe this doesn’t make sense at all #idk i am struggling with words today #but genuinely i love how there’s no perfect ‘therapy friend’ in the series because it’s so unrealistic when someone is dealing with trauma #and somehow someone with a completely different upbringing understands them perfectly and always says exactly what the character needs #to hear #it’s something you see in fiction too much #the way these characters share certain experiences but aren’t 100% united in their responses to trauma #makes them feel so real #even if it means they say the wrong things sometimes #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #aaron minyard #i do indeed ramble on too much ik what ur thinking

[beanghostprincess]

i like acesan because i believe sanji would fucking lose it with ace being a good brother. it would instantly make him fall in love with him. ace being kind to luffy and loving him to death would have sanji on his knees quicker than anything.

#honestly same #nothing makes someone hotter than being kind and loving to their family #is this just my trauma talking? maybe! #do i care? absolutely not! #ace is so boyfriend coded look at him he was made to be brother first boyfriend second and that's what makes him so great #he loves luffy so much i'm in love with him we should kiss #<- sanji thinks this #one piece #acesan #sanji #black leg sanji #portgas d ace #monkey d luffy

[robotsafari]

i had a dream where something was off with riku’s shadow…

#beep boop you want fries with that #kingdom hearts #riku #(and ansem. in shadow form) #IGNORE THE MISTAKE OF RIKUS HAND AUUGHH I HATE DRAWING HANDS #riku wasnt wearing his dream drop distance outfit but i drew him with it because. well. dream LOL #its so weird like it wasnt even clear what world he was in #he was in some sort of tavern?? so maybe you’d think it was the kingdom of corona #liek the snuggly duckling but it definitely wasnt #i couldnt tell you why but trust me #it was kinda surreal that i actually had a dream about kingdom hearts. go figure #its like the hardest thing in the world to have a dream about a fixation im having #usually my dreams are trauma. and me dying. sometimes both. #and if it is about my fixation it’s usually me getting a bunch of merch of it and then i wake up and whoops i dont have it #or i just forget all of my dreams and wake up with nothing to think about. #so i like it when i have some cool bizarre shit related to my fixation happen #its funny because this sounds like something that would happen in either kh itself or someones fanfiction #i wouldnt be surprised if someone has already drawn or written about this #anyway gn i hope i have another weird dream about kh

[hermit-frog]

has anyone made a // between 1x05 and 2x02?

Daniel disrespects and aggressively violates Louis' boundaries. He mocks Louis' memories and his will to protect them. Understandably, Louis lashes back. Both times, Armand interferes (because he saves Louis from himself). This time Louis even haunts Daniel with a 70s flashback, because as we know, it was a very traumatic moment of Daniel's life. And the fact that he doesn't remember it, makes it even more frightening and upsetting.

I don't think it was about devil's minion, or Alice. Just the most pain inducing moments of Daniel's life. These two keep digging fingers into each other's wounds, almost like s- *gunshot*

#and this is how danlou can still win. jk. i'm off to work. don't have time to elaborate. need to rewatch ep2 and s1 #i'm a huge armandiel fan. i mean look at my blog. but we gotta take our dm googles off man #maybe i'll have time to gif it later #but yeah. Daniel is an asshole for disrespecting someone's trauma and memories like that. and if Louis gets it back. well. it's his right #iwtv meta #interview with the vampire #iwtv #vampterview #danlou #louis de pointe du lac #daniel molloy #iwtv spoilers

[rooolt]

my thing with normals epilogue is that I think it comes from normal and sparrows like fundamental misunderstanding of each other. Like I think normal is unable to see sparrow as a full person past his parenting decisions, but I also think that sparrow doesn’t really understand the full extent of the effect his words had on normal and what it would’ve taken to rectify that. Like they’re both so caught up within themselves to fully understand the other and that’s so real and true to me.

#As someone who loves both normal and sparrow #I really like this ending #I like that it’s messy and I like that it’s unsatisfying and I like that it’s real #Sure we as an audience can maybe say “well sparrow doesn’t deserve that” #But if that was really your dad? If that was really what you went through? #Plus a whole other host of traumas and horrors on top of it #I think it would be very hard to reckon with #Especially as a young person #dndads #dungeons and daddies

[add1ctedt0you]

The Untamed - Episode 11 - Episode 15

The woman had creamy skin and was rather beautiful, though her delicate features displayed some fierceness. The corners of her lips lay between a frown and a smile - she was a natural at sneering, just like Jiang Cheng. Her flowing purple robes wrapped around her thin waist. Both her face and her right hand, which rested on the hilt of her sword, were as cold as jade stone. A ring embellished with amethyst was worn on the index finger of her right hand.

Jiang Cheng smiled as he saw her, "Mom!"

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation - Chapter 51- Courage- Part 1

Madam Yu stared at his face. Suddenly she embraced him and kissed his hair a few times. With him in her arms, she murmured, "Good boy."

She hugged him so tight that it seemed as if she wanted turn Jiang Cheng into a baby and stuff him back into her stomach, so that nobody could hurt him, nobody could tear them apart. Jiang Cheng had never been hugged by his mother like this, much less kissed. His head was buried in her chest but his eyes were wide open, not knowing what to do.

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation- Chapter 58 - Poisons- Part 3

#It's about men loving their awful mothers #Also. Their relationship is SO IMPORTANT TO JC #madam yu taught jc that love comes with hurt and #that sometimes someone you love hurts badly your favorite person and you can still love and feel complicated about that person! #And this is going to shape jc's way to deal with wwx #Also. madam yu loves him *so much* ) #But madam yu and jc aren't exactly close like jl and jc are. Which *gesture to mdzs* it's all about generational trauma and trying #to do better #I've so many feelings #jiang cheng #yu ziyuan #*mgifs #Out of the point. wcz's acting slaps #Uh. Should I cut the madam yu's description? It's maybe too long lol #Also. jc's problem is not 'lack of mother's love'. The problem imo is that the love is there. And it's a lot

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

No, but you know what’s a stab in the heart? All those Skin Condition-Having Caranthir Headcanons existed at the same time as Maedhros’ recovery from Thangorodrim.

Like, Caranthir has had to deal with the Looks from these elves since birth. He is well aware of the difference in how he is treated compared to his ruggedly handsome or sharply beautiful brothers. He knows.

Maedhros does not know. None of his cousins really know.

Except, now Maedhros does.

He is scarred and disfigured, abominable by all beauty standards. Maedhros is no longer “normal-looking” and so now he gets the Looks. He is noticing this.

Fingon is also noticing this. He is angry and betrayed about it. Fingon is fucking seething.

All the finweans notice at some point during Maedhros’ recovery but they all think the elves will get used to it, and that it’ll get better with time.

And here comes Caranthir, in his long-sleeved outfit, and he says “I’m sorry. It doesn’t get better.”

Cue several realizations, Fingon and Celegorm each breaking a chair, and Maedhros feeling Emotions because That’s His Baby Brother Damn It.

They get it now, as much as anyone not Caranthir or Maedhros can get it.

Anyway, I saw a post by @mascula-sappho about Maedhros and ableism connecting to his reputation as a monster and had Thoughts, Angst Thoughts.

#also if any of yall have a skin condition then you know what i mean by Looks #as someone who had a skin thing since birth i’m saying that you dont talk about the Looks unless with someone else Like You #or maybe thats just me and my trauma #but still #if you know you know #caranthir #maedhros #fingon #skin condition #caranthir headcanon #silm headcanons #tag.words #thangorodrim #sons of feanor

[msue0027]

plot armor is one of the worst things that could happen to a character in the whoniverse

#doctor who #dw #torchwood #those are only ones i've been watcjing so far #so maybe i should not be talking after all #but yeah #the doctor #jack harkness #someone save them #i'm tempted to say the master with their modified armour that left them dead after every story #and yet always bring them back #somehow #but nah #let's leave their trauma for fanfic writers to dissect them like a rat; to observe them like an insect

[averlym]

"now, doesn't that look nice?" [insp]

#*chanting* skask skask skask skask- #vincent aurelius lin #adamandi #hello. let's talk about what's going on here! i've been tossing the idea about here wrt skin translucency ever since that post came out #(it's linked above fyi. but to quote it.) 'attempting to pursue this unachievable white ideal of the young academic; maybe leading to gory #representations of mimicry; replacement; taking on someone else's skin; altering the self' #this is primarily key in vincent and the skask; in the actual show iirc they used a jockey mask or smth? but i was thinking about the #delightful way skin is semi-transparent. and so a literal layer of skin alone would be unlikely to provide the whiteness pursued- #the under layer of the original tone would be there. so smth about the failure and unattainable. #additionally; at this point of the show the skin would have been likely yellowing or greying due to post-mortem development? so even more #Not white. from observations (as a kid;comparing skin tones?) white people have a pinker undertone (this might be. a generalisation but.) #here the lighting is yellowish to further push the difference + give the super harsh lighting that if you suspend disbelief has some hair #appear as blonde to further the ambrose-ness. #also the hair- messier on the non-ambrose side; a reference to the whole monologue about the haircuts they got #we bring to you also another episode of <i like drawing fabric folds> in the jacket symbolism! from bottom right to top left; it tracks #vincent throughout act two: the initial long jacket for standing out (nonchalance?) at ardess is removed; the yellow coat is put on- aided #here by ambrose's ghost which is represented by the hand! (it is very very slightly transparent- you can see the jacket pattern through it) #(if you look close) and then the satchel goes over it; this mimics the clothes in <oh ms reporter> #and then the Actual Ambrose jacket goes above along with the skask; following the outfit from the pyre scene at the end. #the spark/star thing is partially foreshadowing for the upcoming stabby eye trauma thing (@quincy) and partially just so i could highlight #the eye of the mask/ the place where vincent's eye probably is Behind the mask. because i liked the idea of merging faces; intersection. #back to the translucency of skin - you can kind of make out where the rest of his face is from the darker bit? aka it's not the same colour #as the skask. smth smth limited effectiveness... #tldr? face skin. jacket skin. altering appearance over time; unfeasibleness #when i was doing this i suddenly remembered covering my skin in talcum powder as a kid... hm. i'd forgotten about that. #anyways! when i posted my first ever adamandi thing i had the thought of 'this musical makes me want to paint' and surreally enough #that has proved to be so so true. and ngl i am really enjoying it? love it when the motivation to create is there haha #i will add as a disclaimer that i'm literally chinese and if the colours look off.. i did not mean to make a caricature. please be nice #that said because stage lighting tends to shift colours about a Lot i essentially used my own skin as a reference under yellow light? #so hopefully that checks out. <disappears>

[lovegrowsart]

no matter whether ppl are trying to make zk's canon relationship out to be sibling coded or associative friends or whatever else ppl make up i feel it all comes from this place of people that don't ship it being unable to handle zuko and katara's canonically deep and intimate friendship at the end of show without (whether subconsciously or not) perceiving it as some kind of threat to whatever katara or zuko ship they DO ship (usually either k/a or z/s or m/z)

they don't know how to acknowledge/write zk (and i don't think them being a m/f ship is divorced from this) having their canonically close friendship alongside whatever they ship because that closeness, no matter how platonic, can't supersede the romance of their own ship. so they just lazily write it off as "siblings" or convince themselves they weren't ever that close in the first place or that katara still secretly hates zuko or something in order to get out of the bind of allowing them to be close friends even if you ship them with other people 🤷‍♀️

#holly talks bs #zutara #atla fandom critical #hot take maybe but i do genuinely believe zk have one of if not THE mutually closest relationship in the gaang #because it's not about screentime spent together it's about the depth of what those scenes communicate about the characters and #their relationship #katara is the only one zuko ever marginally opened up to about his scar and his banishment and what he thinks and feels about it #zuko is the only one in the gaang katara talks about her mother in depth to #yes she's acknowledged the loss before and uses it to connect with ppl like haru and jet #but zuko is the person katara tells the whole story to #in fact zuko is the person who hears all three perspectives of kya's murder #and is yknow the person that actually GOES WITH HER on her journey to the centre of her deepest and most defining trauma #and then there's just the whole finale where they's essentially attached at the hip and he jumps in front of fucking lightning for her #brb just gonna jump in front of lightning for my associative friend #no big deal or anything we can barely talk to each other without someone else in the room #even tho zk have several scenes alone together while yeah they're not making out but they ARE usually talking about something #deep meaningful and personal #they spill their guts out to each other at the first sign they've found someone who might actually understand them

[jellyfrogz]

I love the hc that if Danny stays in one position for too long, his body starts to lock up, just like rigor mortis. And with that, I love the idea of Danny basically becoming a body contortionist. It freaks people out and I think it would add to the Danny Fenton is the Local Cryptid first, not phantom.

#danny fenton #danny phantom #phandom #dp x dc #maybe #it could be #idk #i love the idea of danny joining a circus to help with his trauma #he could join haleys circus #and meet dick there #someone please write this

[voiddaisy]

the tragedy that is dick grayson is making me sad again

#bat family #batman #dc comics #dick grayson #nightwing #does dick grayson need a hug #nightwing has deep rooted trauma #please GOD someone give him therapy #and maybe a hug from his dad

[comraderosalie]

It’s maddening to me the way you all write about trans women as though we are fantasizing about and sexualizing some hypothetical female sexual violence. There’s no consideration for the fact that we are just talking about our own experiences. Not everything is performative or a fetish - the pain of trans people is not a public performance, it is our fucking lives. We experience sexual violence, sexual abuse, exploitation, sexualization both because we are women and because we are trans. I am not fetishizing female tragedy when I talk about the man who raped me or the men who have abused me, I’m attempting to communicate my pain and the fact that you cannot interpret that in any way that is other than nefarious or disingenuous or some sort of perversion, I feel like that says much more about how much you have dehumanized trans people in your head more than it says anything about us.

#rambling #Ethel Cain #like truly why is it normal for a cis woman to interpret her experiences in a fictitious realm #but when a trans woman does it she’s fetishizing teenage girls and violence against them? what? #not everything has to have some sort of agp/fetish connotation maybe we’re just interpreting our trauma through the lens of someone else’s #like y’all get to divorce yourself from your trauma by writing about it but when we do it we’re lying #trans people are human beings not cartoon villains