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fieryhonesty · 3 years

Text

The life of You

[AO3]

“This is funny I never planned this become multi chapter. Was meant only as chaptered oneshot (time to make a masterlist, huh) what can I promise you: this series will always have the banner where only name of specific chapters changes”

Words: 2479

Warning(s): rated this as mature on AO3 just cause it might turn whatever direction in future (I say might, not will 😳), already has swearing in and might get more (depends on situation I put characters in, we don’t swear without reason, right?), maybe suggestive innuendos

Perhaps you could have expected journeying with your ever so flirty friend would turn into one wild ride. Especially if the destination was Stormterror’s lair. As Dvalin was freed and the area is now accessible. The place piqued the curiosity of many. When Frostblade approached you if you were fancy to tag along. You were quite surprised as he didn’t seem like somebody who deliberately enjoys adventuring.

However after sharing his reason you quickly understood. Fatui started being active, the ones within city walls were seen in small groups. Debating about the honorary knight, no how people of Mondstadt were able to drive Stormterror away. They were scheming something, that’s for sure.

Maybe it hurt their imaginary pride or perhaps they had their own plans. Whatever it is, Kaeya wanted to be one step ahead. Seeing what was behind the wind barrier for so long was a good start. And who knows. Maybe he will be able to screw over Fatui plans.

Well that’s it if the area was not overly complicated. The ruins you had to explore first in order to get further into the lair were quite complicated. But the problem was you accidentally activated a trap and now each of you were standing at different sides of the bars which nearly skewered you.

Staring with wide eyes at the bars which were just a few inches away from your face. One step more and you would be goner. Gulping loudly. “Too close to my comfort.”

“Oh? And if it were me?” Letting out a sigh and shaking your head in disapproval. “Then I’d reconsider if giving you frostbite would be punishment enough. Anyway I’ll backtrack and try to find another way.”

---

More than you finding another way, the another way has found you. During your exploration you came across a ruin guard. Its eye light up in dangerous demeanor. If one thing could go wrong then it was probably meeting up with this walking hunk of steel. Corridors were too narrow for fighting.

You decided to run away from it, hoping it will either lose sight of you or get stuck somewhere. You had no idea where the hell you were running. But managed to end up in a dead end. However you noticed the wall was in a bad shape, feeling wind blowing between the bricks.

Charging elemental energy in your sword and hurling it forward, creating a hole. Big enough for you to get out. Finally getting out and breathing fresh air, your hair were ruffled by the blowing wind. Such a nice change after all that time spent in ruins where it smelled like- well mold and dust.

The noise of falling debris behind brought you back to reality. The ruin guard was making its way out. Following the intruder no matter what. Such a persistent thing. But at least now you can fight. Air got extremely cold as you summoned several cryo blades and dashed towards the machine. It tried to hit you but it’s too huge and slow to land a hit on you. Rolling to the side or jumping a bit back to avoid any kind of danger. No matter how much it tried, you were faster. Slashing here and there. Your attacks might not do much but there's way too many of them. Even the sturdy material those things are made off will slowly fall apart. Leaving the more vulnerable parts exposed. Nothing can work in such cold temperature as you were attacking it with.

Cutting one of its arms off. As it fell down, dust rose up. How heavy are those things? You better never find out. Sliding between its legs, leaving a thin slippery surface behind you, hoping it will slip and fall down. However the ice crushed under its weight. Well it was a good try?

Noticing how it turned around and kneeled. You had seen this once. Dashing behind a pillar and praying it will withstand the rockets. When you were sure no more explosives were coming your way. Jumping out of the hiding spot and seeing the Captain of Cavalry was having its attention. When did he get there?

You had exploited this situation and aimed one of the cryo blades at its weak spot on back which caused it to flinch. Kaeya didn’t waste any moment and used his own elemental power to hit its front eye, causing it to shut down. The damage caused by the both of you was enough for it to never initiate the auto recovery function. Leaving it in a half destroyed state forever.

Keaya has looked towards you and clapped.

“I knew I can rely on you, partner.”

“Technically it was you who was the game changer. How did you find me anyway? The exit is near by?” Chuckle coming out of the male’s chest. He walked closer to you, lips curled up into his usual smug.

“Princess, I’m not deaf you know. I heard distant noise and thought it might be my cute friend needing help. But I guess you were having fun, sorry for breaking your toy.”

The sarcasm in his voice was more than obvious. Rising your hand up towards him, saying ‘high five’ which made him chuckle once more. He was quite worried when each of you stood at different sides of bars. He felt responsible for your well being although he knew you can take care of yourself. You had to do it for half a decade anyway. Yet, something inside of him was making him anxious.

As the two of you reunited it was time to slowly explore the unknown area. It was quite peaceful there but also empty. There probably used to grow trees and more stuff but now it was just a few twigs here and there. The lair felt like one big crater with several ruins shattered around with one bigger at the entrance. To probably keep invaders off. That’s it if they could get through the wind barrier. But it was gone now, so of course you would meet something here.

Hilichurls had several camps around the whole area. Making you wonder if they were living here ever since or just recently moved in. Also wild animals, which was even weirder as you knew animals are sensitive to elemental energy. And just until recently there was a huge concentration of anemo.

To your surprise or maybe not, you had encountered a few more ruin guards. However as you are two it was no huge issue to deal with them. The only issue was it started raining during one of the encounters. Deciding it was kind of pointless to hide as your clothes were already wet so why not explore a bit more.

The fourth encounter with a ruin guard was quite more challenging for you than the rest. It seemed different than the others, it was bigger and more sturdier and hit like a truck. You were rubbing your wrist. It seemed alright however your sword didn't look so well. It was more than visible how the steel was slightly curved as you had to use it to block one of its attacks.

Looking up at Kaeya who was examining the destroyed colossus. Having a hand on his chin, thinking of something.

"Hmm, I just realized this is our second time being just the two of us and it's again raining." Rising his head and giving you a playful wink.

You just chuckled at his remark. He was not wrong. Ever since you got back you two didn't see each other that often. Kaeya was sort of avoiding you or so it seemed like. Until you accidently ran into him one day. You were hungry and decided to dine at Good Hunter. Before he could disappear you spoke up. Teasing him to yet again chickening out which obviously made him look back at you. Sometimes he is so easy to challenge.

In the end you sorted out everything over a double honey sticky roast. Talking about stuff like nothing, like you weren’t separated or anything. Since then you kept seeing each other here and now. Be at the tavern or when you were passing by the knights. Dropping by, knocking at doors and just exchanging a few words before you ran off to do your tasks.

"Still. It's so strange. Why is there so many of those oversized toys? And what's more strange. How the hell did Aether pass by without coming across any of them?!"

You pouted, arms crossed on your chest. When you come back to Monds you will have to ask the blonde.

"I wouldn't be surprised if this was Abyss Order's makings." The bluenette answered and pointed towards something that looked like a small cave. "Let's head there and rest."

The cave was big enough to fit both of you in. However the issue was you were soaked and there was no way to make fire. Unless Kaeya will magically pull out of nowhere a few dry sticks. Luckily you had packed a blanket which surprised the iceman. Scoffing at him.

"What? I am an adventurer now, might not be a fully fledged one. But still I'm always ready!"

"Always ready, huh."

His remark made you blush, you did not expect it. Well, maybe you did but still you reacted this way. ‘Why must he be like this?!’ Coughing a little.

"What I mean is. I always carry with me this little fuzzy blanket. It was my first thing I bought when I got here. And not once it proved to be useful. Also! I got some canned food!" You chirped happily.

Ok, this surprised him even more. When he asked you to accompany him on a small venture. He did not expect you to bring an entire survival kit. The bag was not even that huge. How do women stuff so many things into such small bags?

"Let me guess. You got there packed your entire bedroom." He joked as he took one of the cans from you. Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, instead giving him a spoon.

Kaeya checked what's on the menu. Some veggies and ground meat. Not the fanciest thing he ever ate but better than nothing. All that fighting made him quite hungry after all. He won’t admit it but he quite enjoyed this little adventure with you. It’s been so long since he could fight side by side with his friend. The way you swung your blade and used the cryo vision to obliterate enemies. Color him impressed, not once he wanted to just whistle.

When you had finished the very modest lunch it was still raining which meant you will be stuck there for a while. You stood up to pull the blanket over your friend and realized it’s not that big as you thought. Sitting next to him, your shoulders were brushing against each other. For some reason you could feel heat in your cheeks. Rather looking outside, hoping he didn’t see it. Otherwise you can ready up for another wave of teasing.

"It's sad none of us have pyro, we could dry our clothes." You whined while trying not to shake.

Suddenly feeling Kaeya's breath at you ear. "Dear, that would require you to be naked for a certain period of time." He whispered in a teasy manner. You didn’t look at him but you are one hundred percent sure his smile is dangerously wide.

The way you groaned, ears turned red despite all of your efforts. Kaeya was more than satisfied. It took him awhile to find out how to make you feel embarrassed. Now he just found deliberate joy in teasing you all the time.

"You can be such an asshole sometimes, you know that?" You murmured with an annoyed voice. Eyes still locked at cave entrance. How long will it take until it stops raining?

The sound of rain drops landing on the ground was quite relaxing. It didn't take long until you felt really sleepy. Trying to keep eyes open was close to impossible.

"Kaeya?"

The bluenette hummed in response.

"Talk to me or I will fall asleep..."

He did not want to admit it but he was already half asleep. The only thing which kept him awake was your occasional shaking. Silently chuckling as he turned head to you.

"I've got a better idea. Do you remember that one night when you were sleeping over and couldn't sleep. When I found you looking out of the window in the middle of night?"

Shaking your head, not remembering anything at all. Wondering how he can remember something like that.

"Well, we ended up watching out of the window together. Sitting on a chair while you were leaning on me. We fell asleep and the maids woke us up in the morning. Questioning why we weren't in beds."

Really? Did they? Why can't you recall anything like that? Giving Kaeya a confused look.

"How could we fit one chair-" As you finished it, the answer flashed through your mind. Finally you get what he meant with lean on him.

Not even giving it a second thought you shifted in front of him, hesitantly pressing your back on his chest. If you did this as kids then it clearly felt different than now. You were not sure if the warm feeling was caused by your flushed cheeks. Feeling like your entire body is burning right now. Or if it was because of how Kaeya put the blanket over the two of you and wrapped one hand around your waist.

"Don't mind that hand. I just want to have you secure.~"

"Secure for what?"

"In case you slide to side while sleeping, silly."

"I'm not going to sleep. It's embarrassing and worst is you are having fun!" You protested, pouting once again.

He could not deny the fact he found this whole situation amusing. Not even feeling guilty for his little lie. You are such a cutie when you are pouting like that

"The real embarrassing thing would be you shifting around and waking up my-"

"What the- Kaeya!" You groaned and wanted to get up but couldn't as his hand kept you in place.

"Shh, I'm just joking, Dearie. Relax. Let's just keep each other warm." Pulling you closer, feeling how your muscles relaxed a bit.

There was silence between you for a while. You were wishing he can't hear your heart beating so loud for no reason. The butterfly feeling in your stomach was lingering there for the whole time.

"You better not run your mouth about this to anyone, or..." You whispered silently, not even bothering to finish the sentence.

"Or? What's wrong about two friends being close, hmm?"

"I dunno." Admitting while completely relaxing against him and closing eyes. You are too tired to bother about anything.

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#genshin impact #genshin x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #genshin impact x reader #i wonder where this will take us #f!reader #genshin diluc #genshin kaeya #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact kaeya #diluc #kaeya #fiery series #what could go wrong?

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wienerbarnes · 3 years

Text

The Escape

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 2,717

Warnings: mind control ooooo, general violence, description of stealing a car that is wildly inaccurate bc ive.... never stolen a car, dues ex machina

A/N: some background about the reader! this one takes place before the last chapter of the original series, way before anything with bucky. this oneshot kinda recounts her prison escape 👀 not a lot of bucky in this one, but kind how the reader got to where she is and stufffff i love a good origin story

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

You didn’t sleep the entire night. How could you? How were you supposed to sleep when you know you’re waking up to your inevitable death?

You refused a last meal a few hours ago. What was the point? You didn’t have an appetite anyway.

All you could do was count the hours, the minutes, the seconds, until the footsteps would sound down the hall, arriving at your cell, the guards would stare at you through the bullet-proof glass wall, the only wall of four that wasn’t made of thick concrete.

They’d take you down to the observation room, they’d strap you down in the chair before asking for your final words. You’d stare out into the window of the observation room, unable to see through to the otherside, but knowing there’d be witnesses there. Maybe the families of people you killed. Maybe government officials, the ones who worked as hard as possible to get you this ending.

First, the sodium thiopental would be injected into your veins to sedate you. Then, the vecuronium bromide will be given that will send your body into paralysis. Finally, the potassium chloride will stop your heart. And your life will be over.

What a shame.

Too soon, your life was wasted. And too soon did the guards feet sound down the hall. And too soon did he arrive in front of your cell, ordering you to get up from your bed to shackle you.

He’s alone, you notice. Perhaps they don’t expect you to put up much of a fight.

Something snaps in your brain and before you realize you’re even doing it, you’re tapping into the young guard’s poor brain. He was a cop. A cop turned prison guard to spend more time at home, less time out in the world trying to catch bad guys. Never really bad guys, though, always just some unlucky soul caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Open the cell.” You tell him, finally through to his head. The keys jingle as he unlocks the three complicated locks attached to the side of the door.

You’re suddenly grateful for the hundreds of times they called you crazy, they called you a psycho, they told you you didn’t have powers, that that was your sad and sorry excuse of the reason for your crimes.

“Take off your clothes.” You order next. The young man begins to strip, taking off his clothes until he’s down to his underwear. White briefs with a blue waistband.

Once his uniform is on your body, you take everything he has, leaving his pistol with him.

“Shoot at everybody that comes in here.” You tell him, and he stares at you blankly, no longer in control of his actions as you take over.

You take a moment, closing your eyes and trying to concentrate on what the prison looks like, where the exits are, and where the guards are. You peek an eye open to glance at the man’s watch that now sits on your wrist, eight minutes until the shift changes.

Eight minutes for you to not fuck this up.

You close the cell door behind you, locking it, and making your way down the hall. You need to time this perfectly so that you’re slipping out as the other guards are leaving.

Just keep your head down, and get out as quickly as possible. Don’t talk to anyone. Just get out and start walking. You’ll get to the city eventually and you’ll hide out until you can keep making your way through New York. Maybe you’ll go to Jersey. Or up to New Hampshire.

Yeah, you’re just going to walk to New Hampshire, aren’t you?

Not a priority right now. Focus on getting out. A deep breath until you unlock the gate at the end of the hall, making your way out into another hallway. You visualize the map in your head once more and keep making your way down. You walk with confidence, head still slightly tilted down, but steps quick and light. Another guard turns the corner at the end of the hall and you make sure your steps don’t falter, and he walks right by you without a second thought.

You’re still unsure about the whole mind control thing. You don’t want to question it, because it seems to be pretty useful right now, but you don’t want to abuse it either, knowing your luck will eventually fail you.

It’s not long before you hear a gunshot ring out in the distance and you glance at a clock on the wall to see the shift change happening now.

You need to get out of here, now. Soon the guards will realize it’s you who’s missing from your cell and the search will begin. They’ll start with the entire grounds of the prison, which will hopefully buy you some time to make it to the city, if you sprint.

You finally make it to a more open area, exit signs now posted at the tops of doorways. You finally find a group of other men, some with bags or coats and you slip into the crowd, hoping that these are the guys leaving from their shift.

“Hey, have a good one, man. Tell the family I said hello.” A rough hand pats your shoulder before brushing past you.

Your stomach drops at the fact that these men are so unaware. So unaware that their real friend is in your cell, probably having a shootout with the new guards who just began their shift. The fact that these guards showed up to work today and the first thing they encounter is another guard in his underwear shooting at them.

Push it back. Push it back. Push it back.

As you’re huddled in between bodies, a bright light suddenly washes over your face. Sunlight. Your eyes burn at the feeling, a feeling so foreign having not felt it in months. You force them open though. You need to separate quickly, because not only do you not know where the parking lot is, you don't know which car is yours, you don’t have keys, and even if you did, you don’t know how to fucking drive.

Why did you never learn this! You never thought you’d need to since you decided you were going to join the military at sixteen, but you still should’ve fucking looked into it!

You don’t think you’ll make it walking. It’ll draw too much attention. The prison is in the middle of fucking nowhere and you’re just going to walk home? What would be worse is if someone offers you a ride.

New plan: find your car and hope it’s unlocked so you can sit inside until everyone leaves.

You know Hydra made you break into things before; houses, cars, etc. But you’ve tried to repress so much of that time that you can’t remember if you ever hot wired a car before.

You hope your luck doesn’t run out anytime soon.

Men arrive at their cars and the options quickly narrow down between an orange SUV and a black, fancy-looking car. You take your chances on the SUV.

It’s unlocked. It’s fucking unlocked. You shut the door and heave, feeling so hard to breath in the small space, but feeling relieved at the chance to finally make some noise and express your stress outside of that group of people you were stuck around.

“C’mon. C’mon! Fight or flight, c’mon, just make me know how to hot wire this.” You close your eyes, as though that will suddenly make the knowledge appear in your head. It doesn’t, surprisingly.

Until you look in the cupholder to see a dozen bobby pins. He probably has a daughter. “It’s going to have to do.” You mumble to yourself.

You quickly straighten them out and shove them into the small spot where the key goes. You twist and turn, holding a bunch of pins together to simulate an odd shape of the key, until finally you hear a click.

That’s gotta be good! Right? You go with it, continuing to twist until you hear a sputtering and crunchy sound of the engine starting.

This guy drives a piece of shit car. But it’s fucking on! You waste no time in putting the car into the drive before pulling out the lot. You make yourself extremely nauseous at your own driving, or rather, attempt at driving. You see in the rearview mirror the lights on the prison flashing, the bright red signaling that they’ve realized you escaped. You give yourself twenty minutes before they ditch the search of the prison grounds and look for you in the city.

Down the road you alternate between driving fifteen miles an hour to sixty, finding it so difficult to get a steady control of the car. But you’re doing it! You only need to make it to the city. That’s it.

“How the fuck do they make sixteen-year-olds do this shit?”

Eventually you get the hang of it. Still a terrible driver, but you at least don’t feel as scared driving among other cars.

The longer you drive, the more it catches up to you what you’ve done. Soon enough, the tears come and so do the sobs. Until you stop a red light and let out a yell of agony, the stress and sadness washing through your body.

It’s hard, wanting to break down completely but having to keep your eyes open for the light to change, and having to pay attention to your surroundings. You find a small alleyway to pull into and you put the car in park before ditching it.

No time to cry, you can cry later. You peek around at the name of restaurants and stores around you, not recognizing any of them. You look at the street signs not recognizing those, either. You haven’t been around society in almost ten years, and you feel hopelessly and utterly lost.

You look around the alleyway and see a big dumpster. Just for a little while, you think. You lift the lid and climb inside, shutting the lid above you.

It’s dark, greasy, and the worst thing you’ve ever smelled, but it’s somehow better than where you were. You don’t know how much time has passed, but the noise outside the dumpster grows, and you make a guess that it’s around six or seven in the morning.

If you want to blend in with the crowd, you need to change your clothes. A prison guard outfit will most definitely make you stand out to people, especially when news breaks that there's a prison escapee on the loose.

When you finally lift the lid to stand up, you look to your left to see a teenager, probably not older than seventeen, staring at you, frozen, key in hand, seemingly to open up some store that you’re in back of.

He’s tall and lanky, and what makes him stand out to you the most is the spiky black hair he sports on his head and the thick black eyeliner around the rims of his eyes.

“You… okay?” He asks, clearly confused as to why a random woman in a prison guard outfit is hanging out in the dumpster behind her place of work. But you’re frozen. You don’t know what to say. You can’t imagine the last twelve hours I’ve been through, it won’t make much sense.

“Are you… hungry?” He asks when you don’t answer. “I’m, uh, opening now, but no one will be here for another hour or two when we actually open. I can make you something if you like?” He offers.

He thinks you’re homeless. Which, you are, technically. But he doesn’t recognize you. Perhaps you haven’t made the news yet, but it’ll only be a matter of time.

You finally nod, climbing out of the dumpster bin and walking over to where he holds the door open for you.

You devour the sandwich he makes you, a simple ham and cheese on white bread, but it’s the best thing you’ve eaten in, well, a decade.

“How long have you been homeless for?”

“Are you from New York?”

“What’s your zodiac sign?”

“What’s your favorite band?”

So many questions come from the curious kid, kindness radiating from him. Casual conversation ensues, and you’re careful not to give too much away.

“Can I ask you something?” You ask, wiping your mouth with a napkin as you swallow the last bit of sandwich.

“How do I get to Brooklyn from here?”

“You’re in Brooklyn, silly.” He responds and your eyes widen a bit, not thinking you’d get this lucky.

“Sorry, that came out kinda insensitive,” He apologizes, picking up your plate, “It’s not like you have a GPS or anything. Anywhere you’re trying to go in particular?”

You have a flash of a vision, Bucky sleeping soundly in his apartment, as the sun shines through in orange cracks in his blinds. Your mind envisions the building, where it is, what it looks like, and how you can get there. Why is your mind and body wanting to lead you to where Bucky is? If you’re trying to lay low, why does your vision want you to go to what’s the third most recognizable government figure in the country, after the President and Captain America?

“Uhm… to see a friend. I guess I wasn’t trying to go, but I have a lot of… free time now, so. Just don’t know what I’d say to him.” You tell the boy, rubbing your eyes in exhaustion. You’re not looking forward to the rest of the day, or week, or month, or life.

“Why don’t you write a note? That’s what I do; when I don’t think I can say the right thing, I write it instead. I can give you some paper and an envelope.” He offers.

This kid has got to be my guardian angel personified, you think. What are the fucking odds?

“You should take it with you, though. I gotta open up soon, and I’m sure you don’t want to experience the morning rush of this place.” You read my mind.

“I’ll give you a change of clothes, too. Where’d you get that, anyway? Do you hang around dumpsters often? Is that one from a Halloween store?”

“Okay, that’s too much. You’ve already been so kind.” You refuse, ignoring the curious questions that shoot out of his mouth.

“Then don’t take it as me being kind, take it as me being mean. You smell like shit from that dumpster.”

You can’t help but laugh, and oh how good it feels. You never thought you’d laugh again, and here you are, giggling at being told you smell bad by some goth teenager.

Soon enough, you’re walking through the backways of buildings, in a crisp white t-shirt that smells of the cologne of a teenage boy, and note and envelope in hand. It takes you about forty five minutes to make it to Bucky’s apartment building, and it was only slightly less stressful that your walk out of that prison.

Through the glass door, you don’t see anyone at the front desk, so you open the door and step inside.

To your left you see a wall of mailboxes, and one large one at the bottom overflowing with letters and gifts. You take a wild guess and say that that one belongs to Bucky. You’ve heard he’s a pretty popular guy, along with the company he keeps.

You take the stairs to the eighth floor and the fourteenth room, hoping the 814 on that mailbox wasn’t random. You scribble out on your piece of paper, tearing it off and keeping the rest in case you need for another note in the future, or a snack. You bite at the blue bracelet on your wrist before it breaks and stick it in the envelope, tucking in the flap to close it.

You place it on the ground and silently press your ear to the door. You don’t hear him, but you hear the sound of the television, announcing your missing presence and the manhunt around the city. You take that as a cue to leave quickly.

Why you feel such a draw towards Bucky, you’re not sure, but for some reason, you have a feeling that leaving him this gift of sorts won’t come back to haunt you.

Perhaps it’ll even lead to the opposite.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel #badass queen who can't drive

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theotherace · 3 years

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Fic Recs: Taang

I’ve made two or three rec lists over the past few months, but I thought I’d make a proper, comprehensive one that’s easy to add to in the future. Not all of these are exclusively Taang, but they all feature the ship to some degree. I will only recommend one or two stories per author, but some profiles are definitely worth checking out further. So! Here goes.

Multi-Chapter, Complete

Whisper Into the Sky by damagectrl – Toph has two choices: Go home and get married or have the family fortune and her inheritance given to a stranger. Her problem: She wants to keep her ties to her family, but is quite content traveling with Aang. Her solution: Fight her way through suitors for her freedom. Literally. | General

The Slow Path by Tazmainian Devil – Eight years after the fall of Ozai, Aang returns to the friends he left behind. | T

A Matter of Honor by Adridere – Almost 4 years after the war. Aang is engaged to Katara and is up to Zuko to teach him the facts of life. Yep, the bees and the birds. Crazy kings, bananas and the ultimate contest for the hand of a reluctant maiden. | M

Roommates by breeeliss – An unlikely tale of two unlikely people being forced to live together under unlikely circumstances.| Modern AU | T

Fall of the White Lotus by Boo-82 – Three years after the war Zuko is living a life of duty while Katara reluctantly travels the world with Aang. So, when General Iroh orders them to find Zuko’s mother and save his Order they seize the opportunity with both hands. It’s the beginning of an adventurous journey of discovery, but as time runs out a rising threat puts their bond to the test. | T

Half Asleep by The Crushinator – Five years after the Hundred-Year War, Fire Lord Zuko is hit with an assassin’s dart, and falls into a coma from which he cannot wake. A week passes, and his prognosis is grim. But Katara could swear she hears him in her dreams… | T

Yaaburnee by aviatordame – Avatars aren't meant to belong – that's as much as Aang can fathom. | M

Getting Lucky by roca-dos – Crazy things happen in college every day. | Modern AU | T

All Fall Down by DJNS – Aang copes with a tragic loss and finds renewed hope in an unexpected place. | M | Warning for Major Character Death

The Princess & the Badger-Cat by panaili – In a land never torn apart by the Hundred Year War, the sixteen-year-old Avatar Aang is trying his best to keep the balance between the four nations, including the increasingly antagonistic Fire Nation, which, despite his friendship with the Crown Prince Zuko, refuses to acknowledge him. Elsewhere, Sokka and Katara have been separated on their quest to find their missing father, and Sokka, pursued by the same bandits who kidnapped his sister, finds himself on the balcony of some rich girl’s house in Gaoling. Oh, and a sorcerer has turned him into a badger-cat. It’s just one of those days. | Teen and Up

Reborn by Jakia – Life. Death. Rebirth. This is the cycle that all spirits must abide to, even the Avatar. Aang and Toph face death and the reincarnation cycle. | T

New Girl by tiffaniesblews – After coming home early from a business trip, all Katara wanted to do was surprise her boyfriend, Jet. Imagine her surprise when she got home and Jet was in bed with another woman. Not wanting to live with her ex, and unable to live with her best friend, Suki, Katara takes her brother Sokka's offer to move into his loft with his two roommates. Aang is perky and sweet, the owner of a st. Bernard and a cat, who's often confused about his direction in life. Zuko, on the other hand, is a closed-off bartender, who takes some time opening up to others.The four could not be more different, and yet? They work out perfectly. Even if Katara's feelings for Zuko get a bit more complicated as time goes on. | Modern AU | Mature

The Ties That Bind series by LdyKirin – An exploration of the ties that bind for good and ill. Toph and Zuko are both shaped by the family they were born to and the family they choose. Lots of found family feels. | T

What Happens In Kyoshi by BlackVelvetBand – Prince Zuko, and the GAang take a vacation on Kyoshi Island. Flirting, fighting, and embarrasment ensue as Sokka takes it upon himself to defend Katara's virtue...in a dress? A short,chaptered fic featuring Zutara, Sokki, and Taang. | T

Under the Night Sky by mycomfortblanket – Aang hears the chattering of teeth during a cold night. Was an AU that I found on tumblr that I made fit into this story. Orginal prompt: "We have to go camping together and share a sleeping bag even though we are complete strangers | General

On The Precipice by JoyDragon – They’re just best friends. Or maybe they’re teetering on the edge of being something more. | General

Oneshots, Complete

Air and Stone by Wolvenfire86 – A few Taang stories munched together. My first submissions. I hope everyone likes them. Please review, it makes me feel special. | K+

Taang Week 2020 series by teabagginses | Teen and Up & Mature

Our Little Secret by IrisPlumeria – Toph and Aang, sat next to one another dressed in their finest under paper lanterns and surrounded by copious amounts of food and friends, cringed at the disgusting noises coming out of Sokka’s nostrils as he blew his nose into Suki’s handkerchief. “I can’t believe two of my best friends are finally married!” Sokka sobbed, earning a supportive pat on the back from Suki, who didn’t flinch at the snot coming out of his nose. “I’m so happy for you guys!” Toph and Aang's family are happy for their nuptials, but will they be able to survive their wedding party without letting slip a big secret?Written for Taang Week 2020 - Tradition. | General

All Roads Lead To Ba Sing Se by irisbleufic – "I was thinking," [Mai] said, tucking her last remaining dagger into her belt as she strode to meet him, "that it's about time I let Fire Lord Zuko know that I quit." When Kuei smiled at her, she could see the sunshine at which she once cringed."Notice that's six years overdue is better than none at all." "Indeed," said the Earth Queen, and grinned at him. | Teen And Up

Lady Fu’s Fortune Telling by Lady Cleo – Katara and Toph visit the local fortuneteller to get their fortunes told. Added a part two with Zuko and Aang. | T

The Perfect Companion by Morna – Aang seeks comfort outside of the arms of his wife, Katara. Taang, slightly lemony. | T

Box by JoeMerl – Written for Taang Week, one-shot. Toph ticks off Bumi, but Aang is willing to fight his old friend tooth and nail to get her out of trouble. Humor, light romance. | K+

2 am by shmulia – Whoever set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning is on Katara's shit list. Even if he is hot and shirtless. | Modern AU | K

And its sequel, 11:45 – House parties aren't Katara's thing. Sokka's drunk, Suki's on a mission to set her up, and Toph is... well, Toph. But for every cloud there's a silver lining, and for Katara it comes in the form of a second chance with her neighbour... | Modern AU | T

Treat by PsychEmpress – She felt the corners of her own lips quirk as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Consider this my treat,” he said and Toph allowed a smile to break out. OR In which Toph is a stressed architecture student who gets a free cup of coffee from the handsome waiter after she helps his friend. Taang. Mentions of Sukka. | Modern AU | T

Sawaru by metacognitive – This love is simple. Non-Korra compliant. | K+

Newlyweds (and basically everything else) by PandaCookie – Everyone’s a bit hopeless right after they’ve been married. | K+

Rhythms by xcgirl08– For now, though, her child’s heartbeat was hers to contemplate. | K

Tenderness by Adridere – He wanted to keep her, even though he was not supposed to. He promised her freedom, and she promised him sanity in his own household. She kept her part of the bargain, but he found a way not to keep his. | M

Holy Matrimony by Loopy – After their marriage, Zuko and Katara deal with conflicting religious beliefs, and look to the friends for advice. Between the Zutara and the religious satire, every single person who reads this should feel offended. | General

Blind Maiden’s Grace by Adara_Rose – You can learn a lot of things from a flower… | Not Rated (I’d say General)

Etched in the Earth by Dance_Elle_Dance – She knows the feel of Aang’s footprints better than her own, and that reality scares her. | Teen and Up

No One Asks About The Scars by voleuse – Write about how you learned to curse in order not to be cursed. | General

When in Rome by dtmars – She wasn’t stupid. She knew what she was doing and what she was getting herself into. They both did. | Modern AU. | Explicit

Like Real People Do by DerAndere – The moon is full and bright when he falls out of bed, awake, asleep, inside a dream, and starts walking, driven by the feeling he does not understand, tugging on him relentlessly, and he is Aang, and he is not, and the world is cold. | General | Full Disclosure: This is my story.

Meet Me Under The Table by avatarfan16 – A story of how Toph and Aang find love, in the most unusual of places. TAANG | K+

Aftermath by Zaram'delar – In any celebration, there's always one or two people with a habit of disappearing. Taang drabbleish series. | T

I Choose Dare by for_darkness_shows_the_stars – An ode to how Aang, under the power of a mighty temptress, was forced to grow a beard. Oh, and the birth of his first child, too, he supposes. | General Audiences

Multi-Chapter, In Progress

Heartbeat by AngelicBee – Avatar Aang's soulmate probably died 100 years before, but he can't help but feel she's closer than he thinks. | Teen and Up

a mighty ocean (or a gentle kiss) by poweradequeen – no, the title doesn’t make sense but i don’t care. i couldn’t think of one so now you’re stuck with a cheesy line from two by sleeping at last.it’s a taang fine arts university au. because i said so. | Teen and Up

Neither is Love a Cage by cali-chan – Love is the freedom of flying accompanied. It is letting be without possessing. PG-13 (possibly M later on), drama/romance/angst, Zuko/Katara + Aang/Toph, post-finale but diverges before LoK canon.

Operation: Zutara (REVAMPED) by dtmars – Everyone could see that those two were in love with each other. Everyone except for them. So Toph takes the initiative and fills in for Cupid to give them a little push, while Aang just tags along for the ride. | Teen and Up

Taang One Shots by stitch1830 – A collection of short stories about Toph and Aang that I've had saved in my notes for a few months. Stories are in the ATLA/LOK universe (not canon compliant), and typically revolve around their relationship and family. | Teen and Up

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yelena-bellova · 3 years

Text

Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Twenty Seven

Chapter Twenty Seven: Stolen Moments

Series Masterlist

Plot: Good, bad, lighthearted, heavy. Laughter, tears, passion and fear. Battles are only a part of the war, but the lives of the people who fight are where the true stories lie.

Warnings: language, night terrors, anxiety, fluff, angst, suggestive activity, we do it all in this chapter...

Word Count: 6.4k

A/N: Here lies a collection of oneshots of our favorite pieces of rebel scum. Savor it because this is the last piece of lighthearted content you’ll be getting for a while...We’ve got one last chapter before we head into TROS...Enjoy! (Apologies to scrollers, I posted this from my mobile!)

————

“Black Leader to base.” “Base to Black Leader,” I said into my headset, “This is Commander Solo.” “Commander Solo? What are you doing on comms?” “Hello to you too,” I laughed softly, “I’m filling in.” It was the middle of the night, the only time where the base was fairly quiet. There were always people on duty but for the most part, there was rare silence in our corner of the jungle. The comms officer assigned to Poe for his mission had fallen ill so I immediately volunteered to take over. It wasn’t a difficult task, I never slept well when Poe was away anyways so at least I was being productive.

“Are we alone, Commander?”

“Yes, so stop calling me Commander,” I ordered, shifting in my uncomfortable seat, “You’re the one that likes that.” Poe chortled slightly, “I’ve never heard you complaining about it or anything that follows…” I was glad no one was around to see just how quickly my boyfriend could make me blush. The only reason I wasn’t indulging him was purely because of how tired I was. “It’s far too late for that kind of talk, Black Leader.” “Why’d you volunteer to take over? You sound exhausted.” I shrugged as I leaned back further in my chair, “I don’t sleep well when you’re gone.” “Still…” Poe trailed off, a loud yawn crackled through the headset, “Go to bed now, I’m gonna be landing in the next few minutes. Highly doubtful I’ll run into any trouble.” “I’m not ending this comm until I see your X-Wing on the ground,” I stated in a tone that left no room for argument, “If I left, it would end up being the time that Hugs and his armada of star destroyers would be waiting for you to come out of hyperspace and blow you out of the system.” “...Have you like thought this through or something? You came up with that scenario a little too fast…” I snickered to myself, “Just fly faster so I can stop missing you.” “You want me to fly faster than lightspeed?” “If anyone can do it, it’s you…”I smiled, fiddling with the cord of the headset that ran to the computer. “That sounds like an admission that I’m a better pilot than you are…”

“Where did you hear those words, Dameron? Cause I sure as hell didn’t saying them.” “Oh, you said enough,” Poe chuckled, “And you’re right on both counts.” I smiled lazily, “That’s right…” I hadn’t registered that my eyelids were beginning to shut, shaking myself awake I returned to the conversation, “Wait, what was my other count?” “I would break every principle of flying just to get home to you quicker.” A second blush heated my face as I let the sentiment seep into my veins. “You’re a charmer, Black Leader. Whoever your girlfriend is, she’s a lucky lady.”

“Trust me, I’m the one who’s lucky. She puts up with way too much shit from me.” “Something tells me that you’re worth it,” I said softly, unable to keep the lovestruck grin from my face.

I heard the distant sound of a ship and caught the long-awaited sight of Poe’s X-Wing coming onto the scanner. My body relaxed as I could finally sense Poe’s presence again. He was home.

“Permission to land, Solo?”

“Granted,” I lazily smiled, “Welcome home, Dameron.”

————

It was a stupid fight that we shouldn’t have been having.

Date nights were hard to come by, especially for people like us who were working constantly. But by some miracle, Poe and I had found a block of time one evening to have dinner together for longer than ten minutes. I’d set it up in our room, dimming the lights and arranging the table till it met my approval. I’d even changed out of my work clothes to the one pair of fatigues I owned. Everything was going to be perfect.

Till Poe didn’t show up.

I sat at the table with tears of anger pooling in my eyes, my gaze flicking between the door and the ever-changing clock. Just as my anger couldn’t possibly grow any further, the door slid open and in came Poe. Sweaty, stained with oil and curls completely out of place. Some of the new recruits had asked Poe to give them a few tips on their flying techniques and he’d gotten caught up in it. What started as discussion had climbed to practice dogfights above base.

Soft spoken anger quickly turned to raised voices until we were yelling at one another.

I accused him of caring more about the Resistance than about me.

He accused me of not placing enough importance on the war.

He could’ve reached me over the comms to tell me.

I could’ve not overreacted over missing one dinner.

I stormed out of the room.

He didn’t follow.

That was how I’d ended up on the Falcon. I didn’t want to shed tears in front of Poe, so I’d saved them for the privacy of my ship. I was all cried out as I sat silently in the captain’s chair, absentmindedly flipping a switch on the control board on and off. Poe and I didn’t fight often, not like this at least. So on the occasions it did happen, it wrecked both of us until someone conceded because they simply couldn’t take the separation any longer. I knew I’d been a little dramatic in my accusations, but I’d looked forward to the night for days. But that was only a piece of what was bothering me about the whole thing. I had operated purely from anger, the thing I’d been striving so hard to purge from me. It was reopening every fear I had about myself and my powers. I felt the resentment towards Poe swirling inside of me and there was a part of me that wanted to let it fester. It was eating me alive that despite all the training I was going through, I still didn’t have a handle on my emotions.

“Hey…” I turned around at the voice to see a sleep deprived Poe standing a cautious distance away from me. His hair was in further disarray, his eyes wearing dark bags from lack of rest and his gaze focused on the ground. I didn’t want to speak first, I was too afraid of what might fly out of my mouth. He hesitantly looked up at me and met my eyes, even after a fight he still looked at me with a softness in his stare. Unable to stay on the receiving end any longer without feeling worse, I turned back around in my seat. His footsteps moved closer until he came to sit next to me in the co-pilot’s chair. We sat in silence for a moment, readjusting to one another’s presence before voicing our thoughts.

Poe was the first one to speak, “I’m sorry, I was an asshole.” “No more so than me,” I said, still unable to look at him without feeling a thrum of anxiety run through my body.

“You were justified in your anger-“ Poe leaned forward and reached his hand out toward my knee.

“No,” I jerked my body away from his loving touch, “Poe, I’m not. I mean, yes, I’m mad at you but I didn’t even hear you out. The only reason you got your explanation in is because I ran out of breath berating you. Yes, I’m right to be upset but not to this extent…” Poe sighed and hung his head down, running a hand through his unkempt hair. He didn’t see me like this often, but the times he did hurt him almost as much as they hurt me.

“Y/n,” he said softly, “That was a pretty standard fight. I missed a date, you yelled and now we’re talking it through. Your reaction’s no different than anyone else’s.” “That’s the point,” I leaned on my knees and pinched the bridge of my nose, “I’m not supposed to be like everyone else. I’m a Jedi, I’m supposed to have a better grip on my emotions and not fly off the handle every time we have a fight.” “Y/n, Jedis are human too,” Poe challenged with a hint of a smile, “You don’t have to be as perfect as you think you need to be.” I rubbed my hands over my face nervously and scooted forward in my chair. Poe’s hands were already waiting to take hold of mine, the rough calloused tips of his fingers from years of flying stroking over my palms gently.

“I know you know you messed up, and I’m sorry for trying to make you feel worse about it,” I said quietly, sliding one of my hands up to hold the back of his neck, “I don’t think my expectations were realistic for what a relationship looks like in the middle of a war.” “I think we both are finding that out,” Poe agreed, stroking my knee with his free hand, “Sometimes I catch myself acting like I’m still single. I schedule my day without leaving any room for time with you and like tonight, I majorly screwed up.” Our lives were changing along with the war and we needed to find our middle ground. It required constant adjustment and work, but it was worth it. And we’d been through too much to let our relationship suffer at the hands of our own carelessness.

“So we try harder,” I suggested, running my fingers through a few runaway curls, “And we try to have a little more understanding towards one another. Our priority is each other but this fight,” I turned my gaze to the cockpit window, “It’s going to have to come before what we want sometimes.” I turned back to Poe who was watching me with a soft intensity that only he could possess. The hand I had on his neck pulled him down to lean our foreheads against one another. His warm palms slid up my legs to my sides, holding them loosly. We leaned into one another’s lips at the same time, moving together slowly and softly to make up for the harsh words spoken earlier in the evening. Even after we pulled away, Poe pressed several featherlight kisses to the corners of my lips. “I love you more than anything else,” Poe whispered, his hot breath hovering over my lips, “You know that right?” “I do,” I replied quietly, in no need to disturb the tender quiet we’d found, “And I don’t think I could love you any more than I already do.”

————

There was an unofficial day in the Resistance that had been going for quite a few years.

Prank Day.

One day where we played harmless practical jokes on one another. As long as it didn’t endanger anyone’s safety or get in the way of doing our jobs, anything was fair game. The higher ranking officers, including Mom, knew about it and had never made any effort to put a stop to it. Privately, Mom actually enjoyed seeing what people pulled off.

“Finn, I’m his girlfriend, I don’t know if I can go along with this,” I told my friend as we carried recently delivered cargo through base.

“Y/n, c’mon, you’re the only one who has access to the room,” Finn urged, “You don’t even have to do it, just conveniently leave your door open and if I happen to wander in…” My friend was trying his hardest to get me involved in whatever prank he had planned for Poe. He hadn’t even told me what it was, only that it was too good to not be a part of.

“If I say I’ll consider it, will you leave it alone?” I asked.

“Yes,” Finn adjusted the crate to carry it with one hand, pointing his finger at me, “But only if you actually consider it. I swear, you’ll love it…”

I didn’t actually consider it, Prank Day was the furthest thing from my mind. Between training and my duties as a commander, I had enough on my plate.

Until I woke up on said day unable to find my lightsaber.

Poe had left our room before I’d started my day so my only option was to comm him. It wasn’t until my fifth attempt at reaching him on the comms that he answered…

“Maybe you left it hanging around outside…” His cryptic answer resulted in me standing underneath Tantive IV craning my neck to stare at my lightsaber taped to the underside of the ship. How he had gotten it up there, I didn’t know and didn’t care. All I knew was payback was well and truly deserved.

“I’m in,” I plopped down next to Finn as he sat eating lunch in Rey’s corner of base, “What do you need from me?” Finn pumped his fist before filling me in on the details of the prank.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Rey asked, she’d had her head buried in one of the Jedi texts and had only heard a few words of Finn’s plan. Once he had explained it to both of us, she was practically snorting with laughter. “Oh, please let me witness this.” “I’ve got a little something extra to add to it, but I’m gonna need your help, Finn...” I said with a sly grin.

Later that day, I was sitting in my and Poe’s quarters awaiting his return. He waltzed through the door casually, a hint of smugness in his smile.

“How’s your day been?” he asked innocently.

“Nothing new to report,” I shrugged, “Still haven’t found my lightsaber though.” “I’m sure it’ll turn up,” he responded plainly, leaning down to kiss the top of my head, “I’m gonna shower then we can grab dinner. Finn and I were working on something earlier and he got some oil in my hair.” “Well, we all know how protective you are of your hair…” I sighed, earning myself a chuckle before he headed into the refresher.

As soon as I heard the sound of water, I bolted for the door. As I ran down the hall, I raised the comlink I’d been hiding in my hand. “He just got in,” I reported. “Copy that,” Finn replied, “On our way.”

I hurried toward the exit of the ship just as Finn and Rey sped in the opposite direction.

“Hurry,” Rey urged as we passed one another. “On it.” I bounded for the spot where Poe had taped my lightsaber, standing directly under it. It didn’t take much effort as I extended my hand and broke the “foolproof” seal, the weapon flying into my palm. As I sprinted back into the ship, I peeled off the tape until it was restored to its proper state. I made it back to the room with Finn and Rey already standing outside. I punched in the code quickly and the door flew open.

“He should be almost done,” I breathed, listening to the sounds of the sanisteamer still going.

After a moment, the noise stopped and was replaced with Poe humming some song to himself. The three of us waited with bated breath for the explosive reaction that was surely to come.

“What the hell?!”

We tried to stifle our giggles to no avail knowing what Poe was seeing right now. He flew out the door calling my name with a towel wrapped around his waist, only to be met by Finn, Rey and I laughing hysterically.

Poe’s hair was bright blue.

“Did you three do this?” he cried, still clutching the shampoo bottle in a hand and pointing to his head with the other. Our shrieks of laughter and nods were the only answer he received.

“I have a late meeting tonight and I have to go looking like this?” Poe asked, pulling on his damp curls to amplify his point. “I’ve always thought you looked good in blue,” I said as I tried to catch my breath, still clutching my stomach.

“You’ve always had the best hair in the Resistance, Poe,” Finn replied, gesturing to the blue mop in question, “Now you can wear that title with extra pride.” “I’m serious, guys,” Poe said frustratedly, “This comes out, right?” “Yes, it comes out,” I answered with another small laugh, “I’d help you wash it out but,” I held up my lightsaber casually, “I really need to get some practice time in.” Poe gave a sigh of defeat and took a step towards us, “Okay, that’s fair. It’s pretty good actually. How’d you pull it off?”

Finn took the reins, “I snuck Y/n the dye and she-“

We were interrupted by Poe squirting the remains of the blue shampoo on our heads. Finn, Rey and I shot down the hall and out of his range as he chased the three of us down the thankfully empty hall.

————

Supply closets, as I quickly found out, were not built for two people.

Poe had been away on a weeklong mission and had just returned. Making it back to our room to welcome him home properly wasn’t going to happen so he’d pulled me into the nearest room. Our lips were currently battling for dominance as our hands found purchase in the others clothing.

“I missed you,” Poe mumbled against my mouth.

“I missed you too,” I whispered in between kisses, “I hate when you’re gone this long.” “Yeah, but you gotta admit,” Poe breathed as he trailed his kisses across my face till he hit my jaw, “It makes our reunions all that sweeter.” My breathy laugh turned to a soft groan as his lips travelled down to my neck. My hands moved frantically against his flight suit, internally cursing whoever had made them so damn complicated to get off. All actions ceased as Poe began to suck a mark onto the delicate patch of skin, I threw one arm around his shoulders and reached a hand up to grip his hair. With each ministration of his mouth, a gentle moan escaped my lips that would encourage him to keep going.

“I’m gonna be wearing high collared shirts in a jungle for days thanks to you,” I breathed, still holding his head to the juncture between my neck and shoulder. “You want me to stop?” Poe teased against my skin, his voice low and husky. His hands had found their way under my shirt and were rubbing circles against my hips.

My hum of pleasure was all the invitation he needed to dive back in, pressing me back into the wall and aggressively attacking the skin again. I wrapped a leg around his back to push him further against me, needing to feel him as close as possible. I reached down blindly and found the zipper to his flight suit, tugging it down forcefully and slipping it off his shoulders.

Suddenly, the dark room flooded with light. Poe and I broke from each other to see a maintenance worker standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Uh, sorry, Commanders…” he sputtered, “I-I just came to get something but, uh, I’ll come back later.” Before I could protest and come up with an excuse for our suggestive position, he’d quickly shut the door in embarrassment. I threw my head back against the wall and groaned while Poe snickered to himself.

“You do realize the entire base is going to hear about this right?” I asked, unable to see him clearly in the darkness but picturing his smug smile.

“So?” Poe said, I felt him shrug his shoulders, “Every couple’s snuck off like this, trust me.”

Just as I began to push him off me, he tightened his grip on my waist and eased me back against the wall. One of his hands left my body and I heard a click of the door’s lock before the pressure returned. I felt his hot breath against my collarbone, pulling me back down into his orbit and surrendering to the sensation. “Gotta finish what we started, sweetheart…”

————

Mine and Poe’s schedules exhausted us enough that sleep almost always came easy to us. But sound slumber was a gift neither of us typically received.

I woke up to the sound of distressed moans and the absence of Poe’s arms wrapped around me. Sitting up and blinking my eyes in the darkness, I caught the silhouette of Poe from the soft light we kept turned on. He was rolled over onto his side, clutching the blankets in his fists and whimpering.

“Poe,” I whispered, shifting to kneel beside him and gently gripping his shoulder, “Baby, wake up.” “Mmphf,” he moaned, “No, no, get out.” “Poe, wake up,” I raised my voice slightly, “You’re having a nightmare, wake up.”

“No, get-get out of my head,” he breathed, his voice saturated with desperation, “Don’t hurt her.” I knew exactly what nightmare he was having.

“Baby, I’m okay,” I urged, shaking his shoulder with both hands, “Wake up.” His eyes flew open and he shot up in bed with a cry, I could make out the single tear trail down his cheek. Unfortunately, this was nothing new to me. Much like myself, Poe suffered from the same horrible dream night after night.

“Poe, you’re okay,” I said soothingly, running my hands down his arm, “It was a nightmare.” His chest rose and fell as he fought to catch his breath, he ran a hand over his face and sniffled. He turned to me and gripped both my wrists gently, looking me over to make sure I was real. “I’m okay,” I assured, turning my hand over to lace my fingers with his.

He breathlessly nodded, his eyes frantically searching my face for reassurance. “He was in my head, Y/n, he went in and the first thing he saw was you.” “I know, I know,” I hummed, pushing myself into his lap where he usually needed me on the bad nights, “But he didn’t get me. I’m here, he can’t hurt either of us.” As Poe’s racing thoughts slowed down and he processed what I was saying, he surged forward and collected me in his arms. His grip was tighter on nights like this, in his nightmare he faced the reality of some horrible fate befalling me. He needed more than my verbal reassurance, he needed to feel me to quell the lingering panic. Whether he needed to be held, to be kissed or to lose himself in me, I gave him whatever would return him to me fully. This particular night, all he needed was to be close. We fell asleep with Poe’s head resting on my chest as I soothingly ran my fingers through his curls.

The next night wasn’t any easier.

The thickness of the smoke had decreased since the last time I’d visited the familiar nightmare. Things were becoming clearer, metaphorically and literally.

I stood amidst the flames, finally able to make out where I was. After so many years, I should have been able to recognize the location. Perhaps I’d been in denial…

It was my uncle’s former training temple.

The wound I continuously tried so hard to close threatened to open up again. For once in the years of being plagued by the dream, I kept calm. Even at the sight of the location where through the cruelest circumstances, I’d been set on my path to become a Jedi, I held firm to my peace.

“Y/n,” a familiar voice called, I turned around to see a face I’d never seen before. Not in this form at least…

Obi-Wan.

He’d been the figure clothed in brown all these years.

He was so much younger, his white head of hair and beard a sandy shade of brown. His tan robes shorter than that ones I’d seen him in, but his dark brown cloak the exact same. Just like the soft expression on his face as our eyes met.

He’d been calling out to me this whole time.

“Don’t be afraid,” he said, “You’re stronger than you know.” “Of what?” I asked as I walked with urgency towards him, “You’ve been saying that to me for years now and I still don’t know what it’s meant.” My grandfather’s gaze was no longer on me, but something behind me. I didn’t need to look to know exactly who stood firmly planted in my subconscious state, just as he did in my conscious.

“Don’t be afraid,” Ren said, his voice cool and balanced, so unlike him in reality. He spoke with a knowledgable authority that send a chill down my spine. “There’s more darkness in you than you know, just think of what you can do with it.” I was prepared to verbally strike him down and wield my Jedi status over him. I was ready to tell him he’d lost, till I turned to see bodies strewn across the ground. Soldiers. Resistance soldiers. Pilots. Maintenance workers. Strategists. Seemingly everyone that made up our band of rebels was strewn on the ground motionless. Worse…Taking one look at their wounds told me they had not died by blaster, but by lightsaber.

My hands trembled as they flew to cover my mouth, tears trailing down my cheeks as if they’d been waiting to fall. I was overcome. “Y/n,” my grandfather came to stand next to me, “Don’t listen to him. You know who you are.” Any other time I’d have listened to him. But at the sight of my comrades dead, I couldn’t be reasoned with. I fell to my knees with a shriek of horror, ignoring as Obi-Wan dropped alongside me and placed his hands on my shoulders. It didn’t matter how far I ran or how hard I tried, the fear I’d fought my entire life would always find me…

“Y/n, wake up. Sweetheart, you’re dreaming!” I startled awake with the same wet cheeks and thin layer of sweat across my brow that I’d gained in the nightmare. My chest heaved as I struggled to regain a normal breathing pattern. I turned onto my back and fell against Poe’s arm, he was caging me in and staring down at me. “You’re okay, it was just a dream,” he whispered, one of his hands coming to stroke a strand of hair out of my face.

I scrunched my eyes shut and nodded, trying to erase the image of so many good people dead at my hand. It wasn’t reality, I knew that, but it didn’t change the simple fact that my fear was. There was no escaping my mind.

“What do you need?” Poe asked softly.

“You.”

I gripped his biceps and pulled him down on top of me, our lips melting together blissfully. As hard as Poe would try if I asked, he couldn’t fix me. He couldn’t erase my anxieties, couldn’t go back in time and change my journey to where I’d ended up. But just him being there, willing to try and see me through the bad nights was enough. It was so much more than enough.

————

Cantina trips had always been something to look forward to. Shots and cocktails would flow freely and bring an immense amount of regret the next day, but we’d still repeat the cycle the next time around.

We never went in with the fear of possible death or capture.

Rey, Finn, Poe and I had been dispatched to Coruscant to a high end bar. We were supposed to meet an informant who had information on the First Order’s most recent weapon dealings. It was too good a chance to pass up, assuming he was even telling the truth.

“I feel ridiculous in this get-up,” Rey’s voice whispered in my ear through the hidden comms device.

“Be thankful you have pants at least,” I chuckled softly as I sipped my drink, sneaking a peek across the room at her table. She was dressed in the tightest leather pants I’d ever seen and a long sleeved top with a plunging neckline. A stark contrast from her usual beige and white Jedi robes. I had been sewn into a strapless dress that only covered what it absolutely had to, including my lightsaber. “But we’re all in agreement that I look great, right?” Poe chimed in, he was seated at the opposite end of the bar. He’d exchanged his worn leather jacket for a sleek new neon colored one, a sheer shirt and pants just as tight as Rey’s. We weren’t supposed to be acknowledging each other’s presence but I’d snuck a few quick glances at his ass.

“How’d you fit that ego through the door, Dameron?” Finn asked, he was nursing an ale near the entrance to the bar. His stylish jumpsuit, even with a few buttons undone, was the least revealing outfit out of the four of us.

“Just fine, thanks for the concern, buddy,” Poe replied dryly before clearing his throat, “We know what this guy looks like?” “Nope,” I said with my lips to my glass, “All we know is that he’ll be carrying a cane. Not a very common feature so he shouldn’t be hard to spot.”

“Excuse me?” a voice from behind me spoke up, I turned to see a groomed gentleman gesturing to the stool next to me, “Is this seat taken?” I scanned him quickly, no cane. “I’m sorry, but I’m waiting for someone.”

“A beautiful girl like you shouldn’t be kept waiting,” the man said as he defiantly took the seat, “I pity whoever decided they had better things to do than have a drink with you.” I had to stop from laughing at the lines he was using, coming from the right guy would’ve made them sound smooth. But this one just came off sounding like a cocky asshole and not the kind that I had a penchant for. “Do I need to come over and kick that guy’s ass?” Poe’s voice rang in my earpiece.

“Trust me,” I smiled politely at the man, “Your pity would be better spent elsewhere.” He nodded and smirked, his eyes drinking in my exposed body so intensely that I started to squirm. My senses were telling me that he was bad news. “I haven’t seen you around here, what brings you to Coruscant?” “Business,” I replied evenly, trying to figure out how to get him to leave.

“Let me guess,” the guy rubbed his chin before snapping his fingers, “You’re a model.” “Something like that,” I said with a small smile that he wouldn’t understand, “My face is all over the galaxy.” “What a lucky galaxy,” he responded, I had to physically stop my face from scrunching into a cringe.

“What a charmer,” I chuckled before taking a final sip of my drink, “It’s been lovely chatting with you but I really am waiting on a friend.” The man held his hands up in surrender, “Hey, I understand. But you can’t blame a guy for taking a shot. Hope you have a fun night.” He stuck his hand out as he rose to his feet, I foolishly took it and shook it. As soon as we touched, he whipped out a blaster and pressed the barrel of it to my neck.

“Lovely to make your acquaintance, Miss Solo,” he smirked.

Other patrons were shrieking at the scene that had been started. Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to get any better where we were concerned…

“Let her go!” Poe ordered, he’d made his way from across the bar in a flash and had his blaster aimed in record time.

“Guys, we’ve got stormtroopers headed our way,” Finn announced in our earpieces, “This is about to get ugly.” “Y/n has been made,” Rey reported, “It’s about to get uglier than you think.” “This is your lucky day, Miss Solo,” my wannabe assassin said cooly, “The Supreme Leader has been looking for you. He’ll be so happy to hear that we’ve found you.”

“Do me a favor and give him a message,” I smiled, my eyes flicking to Finn and Rey whose hands were ghosting over their hidden weapons. Poe gave me a nod to signal they were ready. “He’s going to have to try harder than this.” Poe used the butt of his blaster to hit the guy’s head, instantly knocking him out as he dropped to the ground. I unholstered my lightsaber from under my dress just as stormtroopers flooded through the bar’s doors. Rey launched herself off of her table and activated her saber while Finn was already shooting troopers down. Screams erupted from all around us and the innocent bystanders were taking cover underneath tables and behind the bar. Poe and Finn joined them in seeking cover but never stopped firing shots. Rey and I deflected the trooper’s attempts to take us down, some of their shots bouncing off our lightsabers and hitting them.

“Ready?” I raised my voice so she could hear me over the gunfire.

“Ready,” she replied, making her way to stand at my side.

We extended our hands at the same time and used our combined power to send the group of troops tumbling through the doorway and crashing through the glass windows.

“Everybody out,” Poe shouted, sliding back out from behind the bar with Finn. The customers listened and began flooding out both the back door of the building. The remaining stormtroopers were scrambling back to their feet to search for us, but we blended into the crowd easily. We pushed our way out into the chilly night air with the fearful people who were regretting their decision to go for a drink.

“That went well,” Rey breathed as we ran through the alleyway behind the bar. “Either the contact was lying the whole time or they got word of the meeting and killed him,” Poe theorized as we navigated our path with only the neon lighting of the building fronts as our guide.

“Chewie, get the ship ready to go,” I said into the comlink, receiving an agreeable roar in response. Luckily the bar was located on the edge of the main part of the city. The Falcon was too easily recognized to land in a hanger so Chewie had it parked on the outskirts of the city, anxiously awaiting our return.

As the Falcon came into sight, blaster fire flew past us. I spared a glance behind us to see a few stray stormtroopers chasing after us. Finn, who was an exceptional shot, took care of as many as he could and succeeded in protecting our group as we hurried aboard the ship.

“Finn and Rey on guns,” I directed as we sprinted down the hallway, “Chewie, I need you to keep an eye on the hyperdrive. It gave us trouble getting here. Poe, with me.” Poe and I dashed to the cockpit and settled into our seats, I gave him credit for not taking the pilot’s seat. He knew it was my ship thus, I was calling the shots. “How you feeling about this?” he asked as I lifted the ship off the ground and flew us above the city. He already knew what trouble we were going to be flying into.

“Considering the hyperdrive is on the fritz meaning lightspeed is a question mark and we’re almost definitely going to have First Order ships waiting for us,” I said, giving him a quick smile, “Never better.” I didn’t have time to see the smirk I know I’d earned as I maneuvered us out of the atmosphere where surprise surprise, there was a small fleet of TIE Fighter’s awaiting us.

“We’ve got company,” I reported into my headset, “I’m going in.” Poe adjusted the necessary controls as I flew headfirst into the center of the group of ships. They started firing, shaking the ship every few seconds when they actually managed to make a hit. There were six TIE’s that I now had following me in a neat line.

“If you swing around,” Rey said over the headset, “Finn and I can handle it from there.” “You read my mind,” I replied, hanging a sharp left so us and the line of ships were parallel. I watched as Finn and Rey perfectly executed the idea and took out four of the six.

“Chewie, how we looking?” Poe shouted to the back of the ship, a barrage of muffled wookie roars coming in reply, “I have no idea what he just said. “Not my fault you haven’t learned Wookie yet,” I said as I dodged what would’ve been a critical shot if I’d been a second late, “He said he thinks he’s almost done.” “Think?” The remaining two TIE’s had managed to get in front of us and were flying straight towards us. Instinct, and a bit of the signature Solo recklessness, took over my body and I flew faster toward them before turning the ship on its side.

“Guys, I’m gonna set you guys up,” I called to Finn and Rey first, “Chewie, you better hope that hyperdrive works. Poe, get ready to take us to lightspeed.” “When do you want me to do that?”

“You’ll know when,” I said before slipping between the two ships. Quick as I could, I turned the Falcon upside down and dove straight down. As the fighters turned and made the mistake of flying parallel to one another, I timed it perfectly and pulled back up while underneath them. Like we were functioning as one body, Finn and Rey took their shots and blew up the ships simultaneously seconds before Poe took his cue to successfully send us to lightspeed.

As soon as I’d set our course for Ajan Kloss, Poe and I sunk back into our seats. “Will you do something for me?” “Anything,” Poe replied, brushing his fingers against my hand.

“Will you admit that I could give you a run for your money at the title of ‘Best Pilot?”

Poe retracted his hand immediately and stood up, “Except that.”

I laughed out loud as he retreated from the cockpit, “I just saved your ass, Dameron.” “Thank you,” he called from the hallways, I snickered as I got up to follow him.

————

Days after the failed mission, I was settled in mine and Poe’s room buried in my data pad. It had been raining all day so Rey and I were excused from training which gave me a chance to catch up on my clerical work. Everything was as normal as normal could be.

I crossed the room to retrieve something.

I stopped in my tracks.

Someone was there, but not in the room.

In my mind.

Y/n.

The data pad fell from my hands, the glass screen shattering around my feet.

Ren.

————

A/N: Did you honestly think I was going to let this end on a happy note? 😂 We got angst for days coming up... Hope you enjoyed, let me know if you’d like to be tagged! ✨

Taglist: @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @springfox04 @constantdisgrace @holybatflapexpert @seninjakitey @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet @leilei-draws @eternal-fandoms @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @imaginecrushes @eternallyvenus @thescarletknight2014 @simplybarnes @captain-america5 @breyasficletblog @caseymcflurry @stumbleonmywords @april-14-blog @i-ievu @ultrunning @desperatelytryingtosavemyself @caswinchester2000 @meraki-loki @lovinnholland @wishing4wishes @fruitloopzzz @bbuckysbeardd @justanotherblonde23 @ace-fiction @abysshaven @thisshitfucks @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @itsfangirlmendes @superbookishhufflepuff @patdsinner33

Star Wars Permanent Taglist: @paintballkid711 @katrynec @caswinchester2000 @theliterarymess @softly-sad @angelicadameron

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron imagine #star wars imagine #poe dameron

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sarcasticfina · 3 years

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Fic Writer Tag Game

How many works do you have on AO3? 263

What’s your total AO3 word count? 4,901,188

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they? including the fandoms on FFnet, that haven't yet been moved over to ao3, that'd be a total of 37. separating the larger fandoms (marvel, dcu) into their individual parts: Thor; Arrow; Smallville; The Vampire Diaries; Glee; Captain America; Supernatural; Teen Wolf; Iron Man; Life with Derek; Firefly; Friday Night Lights; X-Men; Fantastic Four; Harry Potter; Sons of Anarchy; Girl Meets World; Batman; Daredevil; From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series; Transformers; Lost Girl; Game of Thrones; Banshee; High School Musical; The OC; One Tree Hill; CSI: New York; Degrassi; Gossip Girl; NCIS; The Unusuals; Criminal Minds; iCarly; Secret Life of the American Teenager; Twilight; and The Listener

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. and I wonder (if everything could ever feel this real forever) - darcy/bucky - Steve tells him that Darcy's harmless. Bucky imagines, on paper, Darcy is harmless. HYDRA wouldn't give her a second glance. But he does. He can barely keep his eyes off her. He's not sure he wants to. | Kudos: 5576

2. I Climbed The Tree To See The World (When The Gusts Came Around To Blow Me Down, I Held On As Tightly As You Held On To Me) - darcy centric | darcy/steve - The path to self-discovery, including becoming Coulson's assistant-slash-liaison-slash-bff, Captain America's lady love, and rating fourth on the SHIELD BAMF scale, was like the yellow brick road; it was chaos and confusion around every bend. | Kudos: 3973

3. Take a little piece of my heart (and keep it for yourself) - oliver/felicity - A collection of Olicity prompts on Tumblr posted here for easier access/reading. | Kudos: 3498

4. You put your arms around me (and I'm home) - darcy/bucky - A collection of Darcy/Bucky oneshots, drabbles, and prompt fills. | Kudos: 3293

5. you (anchor me back down) - darcy/bucky - "I'll be right back." Famous last words. | Kudos: 2747

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? not all of them. i do try to keep up on them, especially on longer stories when there's been significant wait times in between chapters, or when a reader is asking a question or is unclear on something. and especially when someone writes a really indepth comment/review, i like to respond to those and talk about motivations and character growth.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I've written a number of fics that either had suicide or major character death, so i'm not sure if one outranks the other in terms of most angsty... hmm... i remember "be still and know that I'm with you (be still and know that I am here)" and "light a match, burn the world to ash (I will watch it die, and hold your hand as I fly)" both got some pretty intense reactions when they were posted. And "It's Your Song That Sets Me Free (I Sing It While I Feel I Can't Go On)" was basically just angst from beginning to end. buuuuut, i think i'll say "so you think you can tell (heaven from hell" was, only because there's a build up of everything going so right, only to pivot at the end, so it feels very bittersweet.

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? i loooooove crossovers. i find writing in the marvel fandom makes things quite easy, but also smallville. as long as i can find a common thread, i enjoy finding a way to overlap two shows. i'll say the hardest one to write was "ruby red slippers (unavailable in her size)." I'm not sure why, but i found writing each personality together just felt strange. i liked the idea behind the story, but i definitely remember feeling like i was really forcing myself to keep going, like something just didn't fit right.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? oh, definitely. you cannot please everyone, it's impossible. for the most part, hate comes and i either argue back, take the criticism for what it's worth, or just ignore it when it's baseless. i think the hate that bothered me the most was a homophobic PM someone sent me re: "you know I will adore you ('til eternity)," on FFnet. i actually went and searched it up. they've since blocked me so i can't read our whole thread back and forth. but i did put part of it on tumblr so i could rant on it a bit, so you can see that here.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? ha. yes. depending on the story, it can be really detailed or really flowery. it depends on the ship, the plot, and how graphic i feel like being. i've definitely become more comfortable over the years with my writing. that said, i think everybody likes something different. i once had a reviewer tell me a sex scene was too much, just too intense. it was a stefan/caroline story and to be fair, that entire oneshot was just them fucking, lol, but it is what it is. to each their own.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Multiple times.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! for the record, i am always happy to have my stories translated and shared. i just like having a link sent to me and to be credited.

What’s your all time favorite ship? i have a list of OTPs, because interests change and as shows come and go, my love for a ship can be shelved for a while before it pops back up at random. currently, i can't get enough of buck/eddie from 9-1-1. and, historically, chloe/oliver (smallville) and felicity/oliver (arrow) have been two of my top OTPs. but i think i'd have to go with bonnie/damon. they had all the potential and the show dropped the ball by not exploring it. at the same time, that's kind of a blessing, because i don't trust those writers to properly explore what they had without eventually destroying it for the likes of de/ena. it means a treasure trove for writing where it could have gone and all the what if's.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will? the intention is always to finish. but given how i feel about allison mack and how that impacts my feelings re: chloe sullivan, pretty much anything with her as a main character is not something i see myself returning to.

What are your writing strengths? What are your writing weaknesses? i'm putting these together because my strength is my weakness. i love to write. when i get an idea, i go all in and i will skip eating and sleeping to just write write write. but i also eventually hit a wall and i get so many ideas that i hyperfocus on one until the steam is gone and then i hyperfocus on the next one to maintain that need to keep writing, accidentally leaving the last story in the dust for entirely too long. i also have clinical depression that comes and goes, which hasn't been super great mixed with covid and isolation, so more often recently, i find myself overly exhausted and despite wanting to write, can rarely get motivated to do so. so, pre-covid, wrote so much i left entirely too many stories dangling. during covid, i've just been reading and struggling to get myself focused enough to do what i love.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i appreciate the authenticity when possible, but i've recently been reading more about how native speakers of other languages feel when a) their language is butchered by google translate, or b) it's just not genuine in terms of how bilingual speakers act or speak.

What was the first fandom you’ve written for? it was smallville, but i remember adopting it out to someone else because i wasn't going to finish it. so if you look at my ffnet, the first fandom i wrote for appears to be x-men: the movie, but i remember writing a chloe/oliver story prior to that.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? i have a lot. i mean, on ffnet, i have 576 stories, many of which were transferred over to ao3, with a lot of oneshots and drabbles getting joined together into collections. so there's a ton to pick from that span a 14-ish year timeline.

"you know I will adore you ('til eternity)" and "let me break (the walls that surround me)" hold a special place in my heart.

honestly, each story is important in its own way. there are bits and pieces of each that i love. every time i write something new it feels like my favorite. my best. and then a new idea comes along. there are scenes i've written that i loved more than the whole of what they became. lines that stand out that are almost too good to be a part of the larger picture.

one of my all time favorite passages i've written was bonnie's thoughts on damon and herself in 'if you love me (let me go)":

He is far from perfect. He is a novel of red, corrective ink. He is frayed pages and torn binding. His life, his choices, his mistakes leave lasting effects on everyone he meets.

She is a lifeboat with a hole in it. An anchor that drowns in the sea while everyone else remains steady above. She is both the calm and the storm, and while she screams that she will not be tamed, she cries. Bittersweet tears that go unnoticed and uncared about.

there are other stories, other pieces of dialogue, that i've been proud of. that make me laugh when i re-read them. that make me cry. and i love them. there are others that make me wilt and cringe and regret. it's a process. love and pride and growth, all bound together.

Tagging: @absentlyabbie, @anonymous033, and anyone else who'd like to fill this all out, haha

#fic writer tag game #long post

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kylos · 4 years

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i was asked to make some fic recs of stuff i’ve been reading since tros dropped but since tumblr has a glitch where i can’t add a “read more” cut in asks, i decided to make it a separate post because i have a LOT. all of them are rated E except for like, three lmao and they’re mostly modern au ones with some fix-its thrown in. i’ll put two of my favorites outside of a cut and the rest after it.

(won’t you let me) walk you home from school by somethingdifferent modern au. ongoing. ben and rey are co-workers at a private school. rey as a elementary school art teacher is SO CUTE. her and ben have a slow burn enemies to lovers situation going on and god, what can i say about this fic. one of THE BEST reylo fics i’ve ever read. incredibly in character. you know those fics that are so enthralling that they draw you in and you realize like 3 hours later that you’ve read the whole thing? this fic is one of those stories. it reels you in. and REY. i hate fics that are like, “she’s so plain and mousy and ordinary and lanky” like, NO. i love that this author characterizes her as the vibrant, sweet, radiant person she is. and ben’s deadpan humor in this is amazing. he’s got it so bad for rey but he’s such a self-sabotaging goof. just, god. i can’t stress enough how amazing of a fic this is. a must read. and if you love what we do in the shadows, read somethingdifferent’s cracky wwdits x reylo crossover oneshot - it’s hilarious

a place to go by delia-pavorum (literaryminded) modern au. bit of a slow burn. ben and rey are strangers and accidentally both end up at luke’s cabin during xmas vacation because luke, a fellow teacher at rey’s school lends it to her for the holiday and a certain grumpy tol nephew of his happens to drop by thinking it’s vacant. they get snowed in. [in bill hader’s stefan voice] this fic has everything: bed sharing, an enemies-to lovers dynamic, slow dancing to frank sinatra, snark, british!rey and ben finding her accent adorable, ben reading jane austen to a sick rey, smut, and fluff. another one of the best reylo fics i’ve ever read in the past 5 years i’ve been a shipper. it’s so well written and it made me cry with how moved i was by it. i stayed up all night reading all 8 chapters it was that good.

the man, the stallion, and the wind by voicedimplosives modern au. i love this fic so, so, so much. rey picks up a hitchhiking ben and they have to hang out in her trailer while the winter storm calms down. so fluffy and smutty i love it so much. their characterizations are perfect. definitely a fic that i’m gonna come back to read over and over again.

between two lives by neonheartbeat modern au. rey’s a model and her car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and she stays with mechanic ben solo while her car gets worked on. SUCH a good fic. the build up to their relationship is *chefs kiss* and the smuttttt. amazing. and i was not prepared for all the feels.

carve your name upon my heart by TourmalineGreen modern au and 3 chapters. one of the most unique fics i’ve ever read. it actually got me really emotional and i like, hardly ever cry reading fics. rey’s an artist that creates a sculpture (ben) that comes to life. such a beautiful fic, i absolutely adore it.

big dick problems by TourmalineGreen modern au. rey and ben are co-workers at a book store and ben being a kind of aloof person, rey thinks he hates her (she’s wrong ofc asdklfjsd). anyway one day at work she sees that he was browsing the r/bigdickproblems subreddit on his phone aaaand i won’t say more. seriously, go read this. it’s SUCH a good fic, ben & rey are so in character and it’s a good plot.. it’s one of those fics that i’m definitely gonna come back to re-read a bunch of times.

rebel side of heaven by jeeno2 modern au. ben and rey are friends, but i guess they’re more so acquaintances in the same friend group. ben’s a virgin and rey offers to teach him about sex but unbeknownst to her, ben’s got a massive crush on her 😏

tattooed heart by KyloTrashForever modern au. one of the best modern au fics i’ve ever read. i stayed up all night reading it, it was soooo good. just. the smut, the fluff. i can’t recommend it enough. the description: “ Rey Johnson has found herself down on her luck lately. A week long vacation to Hawaii for her best friend’s destination wedding should be just the thing she needs, only her day has been hell. Hell, her year has been hell. When the hot bartender with that fucking mouth makes her an enticing proposition, she finds herself unable to refuse. Besides, it isn’t as if she’ll ever see him again...”

sealed to me by glittergothh canonverse and takes place after tlj. this could serve as a tros fix it tbh because it’s like it’s own movie. i love the plot and ben & rey are so in character. the knights of ren actually play an integral part in this. love the finn/ben interactions.

love like ghosts by Yours_Truly_Commander_Shepard canonverse. my favorite tros fix-it fic so far. features the world between worlds, ezra, ahsoka, and anakin. rey goes back in time to save ben. and the scene where rey visits ben on mustafar 👀🔥 LORD. i LOVE this so much and it was just what i needed to read after the train wreck that was tros.

I've Got You, Babe by crossingwinter modern au. oneshot. a REALLY cute t-rated fic about ben taking care of rey after she gets the flu :’)

charcoal and petals by Hormonal_Trashbag modern au. a really sweet tattoo artist/flower shop worker fic that i really enjoyed! i’m a sucker for this trope because of abigeyedowl’s gorgeous tattoo-artist!ben and florist!rey art tbh

9 Pints by tigbit modern au. ben’s a vampire. oh my god this fic is amazing. it’s still ongoing but some of the best smut i’ve EVER read. a bit of a slow burn but man. it’s so good.

miles from where you are by Mooncactus modern au. i hardly EVER read anything under M but this has to be one of THE best reylo fics i’ve ever read. their characterizations, the slow burn, oh my god. it’s SO good and funny and fluffy. enemies to lovers perfection. the description: “After an argument over Star Wars fandom with a "gatekeeping, entitled monster" with the cryptic username of KyloRen, Rey finds herself stuck in a series of unavoidable video calls.”

saving mr. wanks by LovesBitca8 modern au. oneshot. rey catches ben in the act of uh, wanking off in the men’s restroom lmfaooo. it’s rare when a fic actually makes me like cry of laughter and this fic was hilarious. and the SMUT oh my god. so good.

auld lang syne by KyloTrashForever modern au. oneshot. ben and rey are roommates. ben keeps getting text messages from an unknown number with uh, explicit pictures and he eventually accuses rey of sending them to him ASLKDFJSD. i won’t say more because i don’t wanna spoil it but i love this fic sm.

bliss, balance and birth by crossingwinter canonverse. oneshot. ben teaches their daughter how to read. this is SO cute and just what i needed to read after tros.

gorgeous by Ever-so-reylo (Ever_So_Reylo) modern au. ben and rey are co-workers and they end up having to go on a company retreat. enemies to lovers perfection

caught in the headlights by jeeno2 modern au. twoshot. “Rey Johnson forgets to wear a bra to work. Fortunately, nobody notices. (Except for Ben Solo.)” 😏

transference by fear_of_being_bitten modern au. ongoing. rey is ben’s psychologist so this is definitely a taboo fic but GOD the tension between them is like no other fic i’ve read. ben’s an asshole with this air of bravado about him because he’s trying to cover up his insecurities and rey is having none of his shit no matter how much he tries to push her buttons. it’s so well written and another one of the best reylo fics i’ve read. i’m so eager for each update to the fic. here’s an excerpt:

“So you enjoy controlling powerful women,” Rey repeats, making her voice sound uninterested. She takes notes, although it’s unlikely she’ll forget a word of what he’s saying. It gives her an excuse to look away from him.

“I do. But it’s not the taking of the control that I like. I’m big enough that I can take whatever I want.”

me when i read that:

aaaand that’s it for now. i’m still continuing to read fic like every day since i got laid off (thanks covid lmao) so feel free to hit me up in a few weeks or months or whatever and i’ll share more of my fave fics <3

#reylo #fic recs #*

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technoskittles · 4 years

Text

Catradora fic rec list

I mentioned making one of these awhile ago and I’m finally sitting down and compiling some of my all-time favorite fics. I’ve read a lot (like, a LOT), but I feel like a few of those really deserve an extra shout out.

I’ll separate them between multi-chap and one shots, but other than that they won’t be in any particular order. I’ll also try my best to tag the authors here on tumblr if I can find them, but if not, just lemme know if you see your fic and I can edit this later.

I’ll also be including ratings/word count/trigger warnings/etc

(I’ll mostly be including common tw’s so please make sure you also read the tags for anything that may affect you personally! Also, if I miss any, please keep in mind that it’s been awhile since I’ve read some of these so I may not remember all of them!)

Key:

[E] - Explicit

[M] - Mature

[T] - Teen & Up Audiences

[G] - General Audiences

And for the multi-chap fics:

(O) - Ongoing

(F) - Finished

(?) - Not finished and they haven’t updated in awhile so the author probably died

So let’s get started! (Get ready for a long post obviously)

Multi-chap fics:

1. upper west side by ceruleanstorm (F) [T] ~190,000 words

TW: past child abuse, alcohol abuse

@princessofgayskull

I feel like this is definitely one of the top must-reads for all Catradora fanfics. I know I’ve seen this on a couple different lists but I’m including it on mine as well because it really is just that good.

The chapters are lengthy (but in a good way!) and the story really takes its time to flesh itself out. The character development of the characters as individuals is beautifully done and wonderfully realistic. The pacing of the development of Catra and Adora’s relationship is also sweetly slow, a steady slowburn that invokes that deep-rooted yearning feeling mirrored by the characters themselves.

It’s a really clever premise that takes place in the modern world but implements the canon universe in the form of the book that Adora’s writing that ties back to her and Catra’s shared childhood. The way that aspects of the show were revamped into this fic are so creative and I just....ugh. LOVE.

This fic also has a oneshot compilation that takes place after the events of the final chapter which is currently ongoing and I HIGHLY suggest checking that out as well once you’ve finished this.

The sister fic for those interested: she’s god (and I found her) (O) [T] ~40,000 words

2. The Devil Is In (The Details) by SeasInkarnadine (O) [M] ~58,000 words

TW: Graphic Depictions of Violence, child abuse, emotional abuse, use of recreational drugs, Major Character Death

@seasinkarnadine

This is a really great fic where Adora is an undercover cop who sidles her way into one of the largest gang syndicates to bust whoever killed Hordak, a big gang leader and drug trafficker, whose death was originally ruled as an accidental overdose. Her and Catra (one of the gang members) both know foul play was involved and work together to figure out the truth.

The dynamics between these two is so casual and hilarious but still has those gut-wrenching moments that really ground you and realize that their relationship is dysfunctional on a few levels. The exploration of Adora’s conflicting feelings towards Catra hurt in such a good way as she realizes that she does genuinely care for Catra, but also is aware that what she’s doing will eventually screw her over and land her in jail. It’s the best kind of underlying angst and I highly recommend it.

Another really great selling point that I particularly love is that Adora is deaf in this AU and the author really shows this in such a realistic and natural way that shows she really knows what she’s talking about. It makes the dynamic between the two even more interesting considering that Catra also knows sign language which give the two a lot of moments of mutual understanding that doesn’t extend to the other characters. It’s something that the two of them have that’s sort of just for them to be on that level of understanding and it’s so great.

Also, Morgan is just a great writer in general and I highly suggest checking out more of her stuff (her art too!). She’s one of the writers I’ve looked up to since my beginning days in the fandom and it’s still amazing seeing all the great stuff she puts out.

3. Skinny Love by Maychup (O) [M] ~100,000 words

TW: past child abuse

@maychup

Another staple of big fics in the catradora fandom but for good reason. This fic is a wonderful exploration of events taking place after S1 illustrating Catra & Adora’s relationship in a different path that the rest of the show takes. It focuses heavily on their past experiences with each other and how that affects their current situation being on opposite sides of the war.

This fic is older, published just after S1, so canon divergence is an important aspect of its build. But the way the story is written is so beautiful and grounded that it’s still interesting even now knowing what really happens in the show.

Their dynamic is kind of back-and-forth, with Catra figuring out what Adora means to her and vice versa and where the two of them want to go from that point. It has so many sweet moments and steamy ones as well (btw, there’s a lot of smut) and the exploration into each of the character’s pysches is so compelling and intriguing.

4. Faded With Feelings by yesimgay (F) [T] ~24,000 words

TW: recreational drug use

This was such a cute, short multi-chap fic. It’s a bit older but I think it’s still one of my top faves.

A modern au, Catra & Adora are roommates post-college and trying to make their way in the adulting world. Catra has ADHD and smokes weed to help with that. One day Adora accidentally eats a couple of her edibles and cute shenanigans ensue. And that’s just the first two chapters.

The rest of the fic goes on to the girls figuring out their feelings for each other, especially Adora who, in this case, isn’t really sure of her sexuality. All-in-all, a really cute fic that’s a nice break from all the angst that typically saturates the fandom.

5. Chasing the Spotlight by holymountain (?) [T] ~20,000 words

This is an AU where Adora is hired to be Catra’s, a pop singer, bodyguard. There’s so many cute moments in this, though admittedly it’s been about 6 months since it’s last updated so be sure to keep that in mind.

6. we’ve been making shades of purple out of red and blue by darklady21 (?) [t] ~24,000 words

An “and they were ROOMMATES” au. In this one though, Catra and Adora don’t actually know each other and really only get to know each other over time. It’s cute and has a lot of interesting interactions between the two, but it hasn’t updated in about 7 months.

7. Tuning Out by FaiaHae (?) [T] ~2500 words

I actually really loved the whole concept of this fic but it hasn’t updated in like, an entire year so...only read if you’re okay with the fact that it probably won’t ever be finished haha

8. burnt sugar by jeserai (O) [G] ~11,000 words

@jeserai

Oh god YES this fic. The classic “fake dating” au except Catra is a rich kid inheriting a business who essentially hires Adora, a broke college student, to go on a date with her to this big business function. There’s not a lot to say about it other than that without giving too much away, but the fic is about halfway done at this point so it’s a pretty short read as of now.

Just be warned, it’s currently on a MASSIVE cliffhanger so if you wanna wait until it updates I totally understand lol

9. still waters by summerson (O) [M] ~28,000 words

TW: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, self harm

A “The Last of Us” AU. Personally, I’m not super familiar with TLOU because I could never get into the game myself, but this fic is so well done and the writing style is so interesting and well-executed that I still love this fic to bits. But obviously, for those of you who are aware of TLOU, you already know that this fic is going to contain quite the fair share of angst so be ready.

10. Whispering Dreams by dragonesdepapel (F) [T] ~7500 words

It’s been awhile since I’ve read this one so I don’t remember everything, but I do remember really enjoying the writing style and the construction of this fic. It’s a short read, but it’s totally worth it

11. please could you be tender by erce3 (F) [G] ~40,000 words

@figbian

please please PLEASE go read this fic. I’m actually begging y’all to go read this one I loved it so much it’s still one of my top 10 faves out there.

This fic is set in a modern setting where Adora & Catra were childhood friends and are in college and god it’s just SO. GOOD. The writing style and composition of the flashbacks with the present events is so beautifully done and organized and I really cannot hype this fic up enough GO READ IT

12. buried a hatchet (it’s coming up lavendar) by erce3 (O) [G] ~12,000 words

on the note of that last rec, I highly rec their other work which is currently in progress. It takes place after S3 but it’s an exploration on if Catra and Adora got trapped in the portal instead of Angella and FUCK this person is genuinely amazing go read their stuff

13. Senior Year by SimplyAbsolute (O) [E] ~98,000 words

@simplyabsolute

This is a really cute fic about Adora and Catra in their final year of college and I guess for me personally it really just hits hard because I’m also in my final year of college lol. But really, it’s a great fic and I suggest checking it out. It’s actually only got one more chapter left too so it’s almost done!

14. Assassinating Adora by Wicked42 (F) [T] ~13,000 words

@wicked-42

TW: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Jeez this fic was a real rollercoaster of emotions. I loved every bit of it.

Basically, some people try to assassinate Adora and Catra stops one of them, but both girls are still inflicted by the poison and....it just gets crazier from there. Don’t wanna spoil it too much but this is a must-read for sure.

And this one may seem like cheating but I’m gonna plug one of my own multi-chap fics here

15. Pure Feeling (O) [T] ~30,000 words

TW: brief mention of sexual assault in Ch 5

This is a modern AU set after all the kids have been out of college for a few years.

Adora and Catra were childhood friends but ended up drifting apart and falling out during their college years. Fast forward about 6 years and they run into each other again, except now Adora has a daughter and is struggling to balance her life as a single mother. Overtime the two girls work on rebuilding their friendship and somewhere along the way might even realize that they’re feelings for each other never really went away. But of course, like all things in life, this isn’t an easy process and they run into more than a few complications - internal and external.

One Shots:

(there’s so many of these I’ve loved so I’m really going to try and narrow it down to about 10. If yours didn’t make it, no offense! I just have WAY too many to include and this post is already so long haha)

1. The Interlude That Never Ends by FMLClexa [M] ~2500 words

TW: Major Character Death, brief mention of sexual assault

Okay I’m gonna be honest: If you ignore all the other fics on this list, READ THIS ONE. This is absolutely my #1 favorite without a doubt. It’s a soulmate/reincarnation au and it’s so wonderfully executed that I honestly cannot even begin to tell y’all how much I love this one. It’s old and one of the first fics I ever read, but it’s so timeless and excellent and I promise you won’t regret reading it. I know I’ve read this about a million times over.

It’s been a whole year and this has held my #1 fave position the entire time. READ. IT.

2. after party by summerson [M] ~2000 words

TW: recreational drug use

God this fic was so great I read it last night and I’m still in awe in how well it was written and the emotions it managed to invoke in me. My favorite scene is the part where Catra tells Adora “I love you” because it’s so raw and desperate and I vibed with it so hard. It’s really difficult trying to tell someone how much you love them with just a few simple words because they really just don’t convey how much you love them and it’s so frustrating and GAH this fic was fucking great please read it.

3. jigsaw by jeserai [G] ~2500 words

@jeserai

This fic is so great and I felt so warm inside reading it. Definitely read if you want sweet, slow friends to lovers burn.

4. Vicious by SeasInkarnadine [M] ~3500 words

TW: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con

I really highly recommend this one if you can get past the trigger warnings. It was so well written and very suspenseful with the juxtaposition of the timeline between current events and snippets of what had happened just hours before. But the ending is really sweet and the way that Catra cares for Adora after the whole thing squeezed my heart to pieces.

This is one I’ve read a few times over because of how much I love it. Def in my top 3.

5. Basement by spookyscaryskeletons [G] ~2800 words

This was such a great rendition of “Adora and Catra are forced to talk” and the emotions were raw and bleeding and I love the character portrayals.

6. Coming Apart by Whorls [E] ~13,000 words (or ~6,000 words each chap)

@crazy-pages

Okay this fic technically has two chapters but I’m including it here in the oneshots because the chapters are identical in the sense of story but the only difference is that in chapter one Catra is a cis woman and in chapter two she’s a trans woman pre-op. Other than that the chapters are identical so it’s mostly based off which experience you would rather have while reading.

This fic was. So. Fucking. Good. Sen did such a fantastic job with both aspects of this story and I love it to bits and pieces. The smut in the beginning is delicious as can be, but then towards the latter half it absolutely sucker punches you with feelings but in a good way. I really, really fucking love this fic and I think it needs more attention than it initially got so I’m imploring you all to please go read this fic. It’s fantastic.

7. Seconds That I Cannot Replace by Mogatrat [M] ~7800 words

TW: child abuse, underage(?)

This is a really heartbreaking fic set before canon. It’s about all the times that Catra and Adora started a romantic relationship only for Shadow Weaver to come in and ruin everything by constantly erasing and resetting Adora’s memory. I still think about this fic from time to time. Give it a go.

8. Come morning light by dragonesdepapel [T] ~1800 words

TW: Major Character Death

Another one that’s technically two chapters but it’s the same events, just covers the perspective of each girl. Adora’s dying and asks Catra to stay with her.

Basically this fic ripped my heart out and I still think about it sometimes.

9. someone you like by caela [T] ~5100 words

oh fuck me yes this fic. A modern au where Catra sorta stalks Adora on instagram and accidentally likes an old picture. Fluffiness galore.

10. When You Came Calling by ActuallyMe [E] ~5200 words

TW: Major Character Death

A 1940′s Mob AU where Catra is a private eye and Adora married high-ranking mob boss Hordak...who’s just been murdered.

Really great one shot. Personally I would’ve loved to see more come of this but it’s great on its own.

And once again, this is cheating but here’s a couple oneshots of my own that I wanna plug real quick

11. hang tight (all you) [T] ~9200 words

Modern AU fic set when Catra and Adora are in high school. Adora struggles to come to terms with her sexuality in an discouraging environment as well as the fact that she’s had a crush on her best friend since middle school. Personally I think this was one of my best works and a lot of other people seem to have liked it too so yeah!

12. as my World d[ivides] [E] ~2500 words

TW: Rape/Non-Con, Underage

One of my darker fics, but still one I’m pretty proud of. Without giving too much away, Adora suffers from a trauma and engages in unhealthy coping mechanisms and Catra enables her because no one’s taught them any different.

#she ra #spop #catra #adora #catradora #she ra and the princesses of power #fic recs #long post #thanks for hanging in with me guys #but yes I highly suggest all these fics

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the-goddess-of-mischief-writing · 4 years

Text

The aftermath {2}

Chapter summary; After he left the gym, he hadn't been seen the whole day. But by the evening he appears, cheeks reddened from the chilly air and with a distant look in his eyes. What is the shadows that cling to yours and Bucky’s back?

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: Chapter 2/2

Word count; 3.290

Warnings; of course caring Steve makes an appearance, heart-tugging angst, tooth-rotting fluff

Author: @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing

SERIES MASTERLIST

"Have you seen Bucky?" You looked up at Steve which you ran into while, at this point, aimlessly walking around. His brows furrowed, eyes hinting in a confusion that wasn't present seconds earlier.

"I thought he would be with you?"

"He was this morning, we sparred until Nat came an interrupted"

"Did you really spar then?" He mused and you slapped his chest.

"Yes, we were very well sparring, thank you for asking Rogers", he laughed at your defensive outburst, but you continued without putting any more thought into it. "As I said, last time I saw him was then and I wanted to talk to him afterwards...", you trailed off in the end, not knowing how to word your thoughts. However, Steve, who knew you well enough to be your brother, noticed the shift and immediately knew what it indicated.

"How was he?"

"He seems to be good, don't get me wrong but", you hesitated to say the rest. The brunette had since long ago begun being able to talk about his problems more freely and by own accord. He often spoke to you, a reliable comfort he found, but he also went to Steve. The times when he didn't talk, like today, were few and far between and they worried you more than the topics he sometimes brought up.

"But?"

"But something's wrong Steve. He didn't sleep well tonight but he didn't say it himself, neither why he didn't", you and Bucky had your separate rooms, although more times then not you slept in the same. Last night had been one of those which you didn't, you needed to finish work-related stuff, so by the time you were done you didn't want to disturb Bucky and resided on your own floor. "That's not all he's going back to old habits, he behaves like he did when he first came. He finds some comfort with me, but as soon as Nat entered he began closing up, not showing as much", you finished and you saw the worry in Steve's eyes lightened like a small fire.

"I know he still has his troubles, however, he hasn't behaved like this since, well, he got here. Neither has he mentioned anything that could’ve triggered it, not to me at least", you shook your head in confirmation, he hadn't told you anything that could be the cause of this either.

"I don't want to pressure him", the thought of asking Stark where the man had gone had passed your thoughts multiple times as you searched for him, but never happened. Bucky needed the time for himself, like anyone else, but you knew of the bad habit he had of thinking too much. "But neither do I want him to put himself down", you sighed. A move of continuing the walk was interrupted by Steve when you felt his hand on your shoulder. His eyes were the same calming blues that they always been as he looked down at you.

"Meanwhile just remember to not do the same to yourself, how much it ever is his habit, it's also one of yours", he told you and you smiled

"I'm the psychologist here", you and him both chuckled before he continued.

"And never forget he isn't far away, even if the fool wants to, he can't leave you. You mean to much to him", you wished Steve could feel the reassurance and warmth his words spread through you.

The blonde man did in fact, the radiance from you seemed to brighten and he knew your thoughts about Bucky always played a part in it. Opening his arms, he pulled you in for a hug. He always knew it was a way for you to anchor yourself, but he couldn't deny it did the same to him. Since the first time he'd done it, when your frustrated sobs rocked trough you during the conflicting thoughts you had about joining the team after what you've done, he'd found comfort in the display. He couldn't be more grateful for the help you gave him when Bucky joined. Without it and you, he didn't know how his friend would be, neither him for the matter. You meant so much to him and he knew you meant at least as much to the brunette. He was happy the two of you found each other.

"You should go, you never know when your brooding soldier returns", he pulled a burst of laughter from you while you stepped out form the embrace.

"Better do, don't want him finding me in the arms of his best friend", he couldn't help but laugh himself.

"Don't think I have a chance, you always liked brunettes more", you chuckled and felt joy push away the worry you earlier felt. "And neither do I want to fight someone with a metal arm again"

"Don't sound like such a brother", you jutted your finger in his ribs, a recoiling action following it. "And I'll hold him back so you can get a big enough head start", he chuckled while beginning to walk away.

"Good, I think I'll need it", you smiled and shook your head while heading the other direction.

You'd headed directly to Bucky's room after you'd eaten something, while doing so you passed Steve's. You knew the last-mentioned had numerous things on his schedule for the rest of the day, whereas the first-mentioned had none and that was why you wondered why both of their quarters were empty. For a few hours, you busied yourself with finishing up another mission report you'd brung. By filing the information it stopped your mind from wandering, wandering to your concern about Bucky. When the report was done you placed it on your left side on the desk, quickly grasping the folder on the opposite side. Opening it you read through some of the information for a future mission. You would go to Spain, together with Sam and Clint along with Nat as a backup. Sources confirmed an associate to Hydra, a millionaire who had sponsored their projects, had been spotted in his supposed vacation house there. He would be given some time to settle in, therefore the mission wasn't scheduled for about two more weeks. Your fingers gripped the page, intending on turning it but your eyes stopped on one word. Hydra. It didn't pass your line of thought regularly, but the word had an attachment to both yours and Bucky’s past.

Now it was well past afternoon and still no sight of your soldier. Expectantly you looked at the door as if he would have had a comically good timing. But no one opened it. He isn't far away. Steve's words made you sigh and put down the folder, only to pick up a book instead.

The bed was soft under you, the book an interesting one, but you didn't acknowledge either. You read the pages but felt like you would've needed to do it again to understand them. A noise you waited for and listened closely to hear was what pulled you out of your state.

"Bucky?" You looked towards the door, now open and showing him. Eyebrows raised high enough so that you couldn't see them as the rim of his cap hid them.

"Y/N? What are you doin' here?" He closed the door behind him as he shuffled into the room. The black cap was enough for you to notice he'd been outside, he never wore it otherwise. But the jacket over his henley, opened and slightly damp ensured your guess.

"I just wanted to talk", you put down the book, not caring if it closed as you would need to re-read it anyway. "But I couldn't find you after this morning", his gaze met yours as you walked closer and you still noticed the haziness they held. You didn't stop until you were close enough to lift your hand and place it on the side of his face. It was cold, bitten by the chilly air outside. His eyes dropped close feeling your, in comparison, warm hand on his cheek.

" 'Bout what doll?" He asked, new drowsiness lacing his voice.

"About what is worrying you", his eyes opened, as if his peace was disturbed. Eyes flickered over your face before he took a step to the side, your hand left in hanging in the air as he headed towards the centre of the room. "Bucky what's on your mind?" You softly called after him while turning so you could follow. He didn't stop, not until he threw his jacket, which he shrugged of while walking, over the couch's backside.

"It ain't anything important", he smiled but it looked hollow, like the one he'd given you while leaving this morning. You didn't believe him, his demeanour showing everything but him being ok. But you found yourself nodding, asking him something else instead to get the answer you wanted.

"So where did your daily adventure take you?" You circled his waist when came to stand in front of him and he smiled down at you.

"Took a walk, went to the museum...", he trailed off when he saw the look in your eye. For a second it looked like a light made them flicker and he knew you understood.

He visited the museum even though he, by now, knew what was on every information board. Idly walking through the massive building he hadn't fully stopped until the exhibition of the second world war. Watching the videos, looking at photos he'd beginning to think back to those times. Remembering how he'd been. While he walked around he'd created the scene from his imagination, when you'd done the same thing with Steve. He imagined how the two of you walked around until you stopped on a similar place as he, watching the holographic picture of him. He still didn't know what your reaction had been when his friend told you about him, but he knew how you reacted when visiting with him. Content and with a calm smile on your features you walked around, reading and looking at the historical things, that was what he witnessed. He noticed that it calmed you down and made your thoughts focused, a kind of calm heaven, one which also had become his.

You knew Bucky didn't go to the museum that often by himself and when he did it was usually something troubling him. His head dropped as soon as you presumed he saw your understanding.

"You knew from the beginning didn't you?" You opted to nod as he glanced at you. He sighed and you saw it came from the deepest part of him. You shifted your hold, from his waist to his face.

"I pointed it out this morning and I know it hasn't changed since", you stroked the opposite side of his face from what you did earlier. He watched you, while small strands of hair fell down from behind his ears.

"What did I do to ever deserve you?" You smiled at his question and took closer to hug him closer, although he stepped back, keeping a certain distance between you.

"I'm serious, what did I do to deserve you doll?" The nickname felt like a knife instead of a blanket. You recognised the look in his eyes, it was the one you remembered seeing when he woke up from a nightmare. Panicked and scared.

"You were and continue to be yourself", he shook his head, not accepting it as an answer.

"No, what have I really done?", he questioned and you noticed his voice cracking in the end. "I haven't been myself, not until recently when I'm becoming better. You haven't met the real me, you've only seen him in the museum".

"Bucky, look at me", he did and you continued when having his attention. "I have met the real you, I have gotten to know him and he's standing in front of me right now. I can't meet the man in the museum, because you know what, he is dead", you saw the glisten of tears when you gently stated it and the involuntary flinch. You hated to say it, but it needed to be.

"You can never be him again, too much has happened to you for it to even be reasonable", you watched him carefully as you inched closer. "You're still James Buchanan Barnes, the man I love, but you're not the same man as people read about in that museum".

Bucky hated that he knew what you said was true, he hated that he never would become his old self. But he saw it hurt you too. The tears he felt in his own eyes was present in yours too. You looked so small when standing this close, your gentleness radiating enough from him to see that you didn't want to hurt him. What you said then, however, caught him off guard.

"You should now, I tried every time to not think about it, but I knew since the start that you wouldn't be the same, it was impossible. But I never said it, never to you or Steve", he wanted to meet your eyes, but they were cast down, so he made you. Lightly hooking your chin on his finger he lifted it up, seeing the tears falling down. "You never knew that since you have gotten better, I started believing what Steve said", he knew what his friend said, that you'd been one big part of getting him better. It was true, he didn't feel comfortable with you in the beginning, but something with you always eased him. He found that sooner rather then later he enjoyed being around you, a comforting feeling always enveloped him when was.

"I started believing, but then it turned into hope", he saw the quiver on your lip as you continued. "It's an unfulfilling dream. My hope was that I could be the person who made your problems go away. I know it's silly, it doesn't work like that, I out of anyone should know", you huffed out a sad laugh. You looked up at him but your gaze never lingered on the same place for long.

"I feel like I'm not enough", your low muttered voice made his heart swell and a tear finally fell down his cheek.

It was with seconds notice you saw the tear fall before he pulled you close enough for it to be impossible. Your head rested against him and you felt your own eyes widen when he dipped his head only to press it into your hair and neck.

"Oh Y/N", his voice trembled and you were glad he was so close, otherwise you wouldn't have heard it. "Your enough, more then so", the hand on your lower back, the other between your shoulder blades cradled you closer. You hadn't noticed that you, as a reaction, had raised your hand to his neck, drawing unknown patterns on it.

"You've done so much that you never should feel like that", he raised his head from your neck to watch you. While doing so he shifted his hold. Instead of pressing you closer, he held your face in both of his hands. This made your arms fall, to rest on his lower chest.

"If anyone should, I'm the one. You deserve more than a broken man", you stared up at him.

"In your own words you may be a broken man, but you're my broken man", the first smile graced his lips when you said it and he let his forehead rest against yours.

"And you are my hope", your eyes fluttered close when you noticed his did. The gentlest touch of his lips to yours settled the unsaid promise. They weren't cold, not even chilled as you guessed they would've been before. The only cold that was present was his metal hand, the glove he wore when going outside discarded with the jacket earlier. He parted from you, his breath fanning over yours. You opened your eyes, staring back into his stormy blue.

"God I love you", he whispered, his lips so close they just touched yours. A smile formed on your lips, matching the one he had earlier.

"And never stop believing I won't love you right back", he chuckled lowly, the sound deep and soothing.

"I think I distinctly remember you saying that this morning", his thumb brushed over your cheekbone and when he stopped, you felt heat rush to the place by how he looked at you. He had a lovesick expression on his face when you took his hands in your own, reaching up to peck him on his lips, then nose and cheek.

"About that", you pecked him on the other cheek. "I remember something about a reward", a smirk conveyed his lips as you returned to them, lingering a bit longer, enough for him to kiss you back.

"I think I do too, now when you remembered me", the smirk was still on his face when he continued. "You owe me five of them"

"If I counted right, that was five kisses", you smirked and he lifted a brow, a smugness on his face. You bit your lip, trying to conceal the laughter that bubbled up.

"So that's the reward we go for, hm?" He slid his hands down, on the outside of your arms not to break up your grip. He encircled your waist and while you thought he would pull you close against him, he didn't. He started to walk backwards, pulling you along. His eyes were on yours the whole time and you couldn't tear away from his gaze.

When he reached the end of the bed he sat down elegantly, whereas you weren't as graceful. He'd tugged you down, your grip on his shirt tightened by instinct when you crashed down into his chest. He'd pulled you closer, so much you now straddled him, knees on either side of his hips. The pose elevated you, so he now looked up instead of the other way around. You glanced from his eyes to his lips, which was parted slightly.

"Well I should give you yours then", he uttered seconds before his lips crashed to yours. It was more intense than the ones you'd given him. One hand rested on your waist, its grip tightened and you didn't know if it was involuntarily or not, the other was entangled in your hair, angling it to his liking as he pressed you closer. The touch of his tongue made you refocus. You granted him entrance and by the intensity following, it wasn't long before you broke away in need for air. He trailed kisses to your ear and gingerly placed one beneath it. A shiver spread form the place and together with what Bucky said you felt your whole buddy buzz.

"I'm happy with you", he whispered.

Forever taglist: @flowerchild1216 @haven-in-writing @krystallynx @lancsnerd @thejamesoldier

Series taglist: @buckysforeverprincess

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nearly-theyre · 4 years

Text

haikyuu: multi-work series fic recs!

hello friends! we are back at it again with another fic rec list ~

find me on twitter and ao3 (where you can see all the fics I didn’t get to put on this rec list!) ~

LET’S BEGIN

FORMAT:

“title” (ratings) by author (a ✰ means the series is HIGHLY recommended!)

link

Works: # Complete: Yes/No

Warnings: will consist of ALL warnings present in the series, although each warning present may not be present in EVERY fic of the series

description / notes of the series OR the summary of the first fic

WARNINGS AND WORKS/COMPLETE ARE AS OF 8/3/2020 !!!! MAKE SURE YOU ALWAYS READ WARNINGS/TAGS/SUMMARIES BEFORE READING!

“cafe backrooms and serendiptuous shenanigans.” (NR) by turnaboutcafe

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774060

Works: 4 Complete: No

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

in which the haikyuu!! characters work in a university cafe.

in publishing order i. what a bother. / kuroken ii. personal space. / iwaoi iii. cafe latte. / bokuaka iv. wrong order. / kagehina

“Being Human” (T/M/E) by shions_heart

https://archiveofourown.org/series/660140

Works: 7 Complete: No

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings / No Archive Warnings Apply / Graphic Depictions of Violence

Set in an alternate world of magic, witches, and demons, our volleyball sons learn about life, love, and what it means to be human.

“Sometimes You Just Clique” (G/T) by SoVeryAverageMe

https://archiveofourown.org/series/695778

Works: 2 Complete: No

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

No one expected the spoiled rich kid, popular football captain, arrogant school genius, and uptight class president to become best friends following The Incident™ their junior year. Underneath their differing facades and personal armors, lay a bed of similar insecurities and anxieties. This is the story of how they met and what happened afterwards, because sometimes when you meet the right group of people you just... clique.

“omam verse” (T/M/E) by shions_heart

https://archiveofourown.org/series/403992

Works: 4 Complete: No

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence / Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Though some may believe they're monsters, those closest to them know they're just men learning how to love in this world of magic, demons, and faeries.

“iwfyitd verse” (G/T/M/E) by shions_heart, knightswatch ✰

https://archiveofourown.org/series/378352

Works: 7 Complete: Yes

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence / Major Character Death / Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

The story of a band of Super Soldiers trying to save the world, and their loved ones who fight alongside them.

“a park in amsterdam” (M) by Resamille

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1239377

Works: 2 Complete: No

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Summary of the first fic: They come together unexpectedly. They each have memories: a friend once held dear, now gone. The trail has led them here, and maybe, along the way, they remember each other too.

Or: Over twenty years ago, witch law decreed a split between magic and non-magic worlds. Five humans were the first casualties in the protest. Their five soulmates were left to pick up the pieces.

“Hanamaki Disease: Disturbing the peace of volleyball teams everywhere” (G/T) by Ink_stained_quills

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604839

Works: 4 Complete: No

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Hanamaki disease: when Hanamaki Takahiro must “eyy” whenever he sees someone crushing. A friend to couples and menace to pining people everywhere (or is he?)

“Seijoh Sweets: Aoba Johsai Artisinal Bakery” (T) by FindingSchmomo

https://archiveofourown.org/series/525493

Works: 3 Complete: No

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Collection of Oneshots taking place in my Aoba Johsai Bakery AU

“Haikyuu at Hogwarts” (G/T) by Killthespare ✰

https://archiveofourown.org/series/952755

Works: 4 Complete: No

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply / Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Pretty much as the title suggests: a Hogwarts!AU with Haikyuu. It's planned as a seven book series so definitely a longer series. This first few can be read out of order with only minor confusion (about as easily as the first few Harry Potter books can) but there is an overall series plot in addition to the individual plots of each story. As of the fourth book, the previous third story should really be read before the fourth or later books.

So far, the stories in order: 1.) Shouyou Hinata and the Mirror of Erised (complete) 2.) Koushi Sugawara and the Heir of Slytherin (complete) 3.) Yu Nishinoya and the Shrieking Shack (complete) 4.) Tooru Oikawa and the Triwizard Tournament (in progress)

“hq detective AUs” (M) by valiantarmor ✰

https://archiveofourown.org/series/234750

Works: 3 Complete: Yes

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply / Graphic Depictions of Violence

A series of detective AUs.

“Carving Out A Life” (M/T) by RoseSakura ✰

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1429972

Works: 2 Complete: No

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence / No Archive Warnings Apply

Zombie Apocalypse AUs - including both longer stories and little one shots

“The Big Bads” (T) by fandom_cat

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612339

Works: 2 Complete: No

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

A collection of chats between different HQ characters! Works can be read separately but what's the fun in that? ;) Oh, and gay: gay everywhere.

Lots of things getting discussed. Mostly light-hearted though, fun was had, jokes were made. Any additional trigger warnings listed before chapters.

“chiaroscuro” (T) by newamsterdam ✰

https://archiveofourown.org/series/434134

Works: 2 Complete: No

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

chiaroscuro: the interplay of darkness and light.

“We’re called guardians,” Kuro says. “Over time, people have had different names for us, but it really all comes back to that. We’re shifters, shaper-changers… the name doesn’t really matter. What does is that we’re supposed to keep the two kinds of magical forces in the world balanced.” He rattles this off with a roll of his eyes, as though it’s something he’s heard many times over.

Kenma thinks back to the curling snake made of shadows, to Sugawara’s words: People who shine brightly attract a lot of darkness.

“Shadows and light,” he says, not quite a question.

Kuro nods approvingly. “Basically, yeah. There’s a bit more to it than that—shadow magic is born of independence, of isolation and loneliness. Light magic is connections, the relationships between people. Most people have a low dose of both, go through their entire lives not realizing there’s magic in the world.”

“But not you,” Kenma prompts.

“Unfortunately.”

“Circle Universe” (T) by sandersonsister (REQUIRES AO3 ACCT) ✰

https://archiveofourown.org/series/826590

Works: 2 Complete: No

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings / No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary of the first fic: It was the omega’s that initiated the courtships, the omega’s that decided who was needed in the circle. But it didn’t worry Kenma. Honestly, there was a particular reason it didn't worry him.

That reason was Kuroo.

He always knew the two of them would be together. And he thought that was enough. He was wrong.

“not just good business” (G/T/NR) by ilgaksu

https://archiveofourown.org/series/307530

Works: 7 Complete: No

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence / Underage / Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Description: credit to hamlet-themouse for their invaluable beta throughout this series so far.

Summary of the first fic: It's been years since Kenma bought that pearly-pink powder and tried it on to go meet Kuroo after his shift, been years since Kuroo wiped his hands on his overalls and looked up and said don't you touch them like that. It's been years since he opened the door to the mob. They are the mob now. They're the ones knocking down the doors.

“Shiratorizawa Family” (G) by someonelikej

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857982

Works: 2 Complete: No

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Mostly non-related one-shots and short stories portraying the Shiratorizawa team as a family.

“Domestic Cats” (M) by Avogara

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717717

Works: 2 Complete: No

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

A collection of domestic, homey, post-timeskip Kuroken fluff

“‘Til Human Voices Wake Us” (T) by strikinglight

https://archiveofourown.org/series/393289

Works: 2 Complete: Yes

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings / No Archive Warnings Apply

Haikyuu Pacific Rim Diptych, feat. Daisuga and Kuroken as primary victims

“The Heart of Nekoma” (T/M) by shions_heart

https://archiveofourown.org/series/339679

Works: 3 Complete: Yes

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

The story of a penniless thief and the magical gem who steals his heart.

“brunch friends” (T/M) by newamsterdam ✰

https://archiveofourown.org/series/612757

Works: 3 Complete: No

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary of the first fic: “Iwaizumi’s left his cell phone on the bench, and while Suga keeps his gaze away from Iwaizumi the phone lights up with a new message.

Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3

Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties.

Mrs. Iwaizumi must be quite the doting wife, Suga thinks. Delivering hand-made bentos and sending along loving messages.”

No one really knows much about the new surgical resident, Doctor Iwaizumi, other than the fact that he's married. Suga's determined to find out more, and make a friend of him in the process

“Among Us” (M) by dgalerab ✰

https://archiveofourown.org/series/540973

Works: 5 Complete: No

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence / Rape/Non-Con / Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

X-men AU with my favorite volleydorks.

“It’s A Good Life” (G/T) by LisaVanDerMolen

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615756

Works: 3 Complete: No

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply / Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Summary of the first fic: Kenma opened his eyes again and looked at the door. The dark hallway greeted him, something was wrong. And then he saw it, a small figure peeking at him from behind the door. Big golden eyes like his own greeted him. Kenma felt himself smiling at the sight in front of him, when he heard soft sniffles.

Kenma and Kuroo awaken to their kid crying and comfort him while not knowing what's wrong.

And that’s all for today folks! Hit me up here on tumblr or in my twitter DM’s if you want more recs or want to discuss any of the fics on this list in more depth! I’m happy to help you find the perfect series!

Show these authors some love - don’t forget to kudos, comment, and message them on their socials to show your appreciation!

take your meds, drink water, eat some food, get enough sleep, and reach out to someone today! I love you and you got this!

#haikyuu #haikyuu fic recs #fanfiction #fic recs #writing #fandom #ao3 #archive of our own #n e ways i love fanfiction and these authors deserve more love!

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jadeile-writes · 4 years

Text

Fanfic Progress Update 68

Hello, everyone! It’s Saturday, so let’s do this again. Stay tuned to the end of this post for a spoiler-y glimpse into the next chapter of Adventure gone Mini AND now also the next Radiohusk drabble I’ll post sometime next week!

Current WIPs:

Adventure gone Mini

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild / The Minish Cap

Summary: Sidon is given his very own Sheikah Slate, the first replica Purah has managed to make, and sets out to travel with Link with the intention of registering warp points for convenient travel in the future. However, when a malfunction shrinks them down to the size of bugs, and they meet little people called the Minish, they have to change their plans from “fun adventuring” to “getting out of this mess”. Not that those two have to exclude one another. Link/Sidon.

Progress: Chapter 39 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 27th of May. Chapter 40 is done and will be posted on 17th of June.

I post a new chapter every three weeks on Wednesdays. These updates always include a sneak-peek for the next chapter, slowly getting longer over the three weeks waiting period.

—–

That month of the year

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: Every year, for a single month, the Radio Demon gets… emotional. His antlers are in velvet and he’s pumped full of hormones that make him behave quite unlike himself: suddenly, everywhere he looks, instead of seeing fellow demons all he sees are helpless little fawns that nobody is taking a proper care of! Solution? Adopt them.

Husk, Niffty, Camille, Honey, and the rest of the older Fawns put up with their Mom/Dad’s nonsense every year, but this time there’s a new, rotten apple in their midst and they have to protect Alastor from this crook. Without Alastor knowing about it. As Husk likes to put it: “This is fucking bullshit. …I mean fudgy nonsense.”

(Crack taken seriously. Gen)

Progress: The first two chapters are finished. The third chapter is more than halfway done. I want to have a few chapters written before posting anything, because this is hella slow to write. No progress.

This fic is co-authored by Maximillian!

—–

Hah! Our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: This is not a stand-alone story! This is a oneshot/drabble collection in the universe of “Shit, the Radio Demon is a part of my afterlife”. Read the main story before bothering with this one.

I decided to give my readers a chance to throw Radiohusk prompts at me, and had the Afterlife-verse as an option to set the stories in. Everyone liked that, so this fic is now a thing. Enjoy the extra mischief from these two dorks!

Progress: Chapter 18 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 5th of June. Chapter 19 has a couple of paragraphs done, and the scheduled posting date is 19th of June. A sneak-peek will be posted on Thursday.

I have 18 prompts left.

This fic receives a new chapter every Friday.

—–

Secret drabbles and ficlets!

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: I’ve occasionally written completely random Radiohusk fics and shared them with a bunch of friends without posting them on AO3 or here. I’d like to rectify that and start posting them here at random for everyone to read. I won’t be posting them on AO3 because I don’t want to, so keeping an eye on this blog is even more rewarding than before for a while.

Progress: I have two separate drabbles at the moment as well as one that isn’t Radiohusk, and a few nearly finished ones that I’ll probably get done sooner or later. I’ll post the finished ones once a week until I run out, on whatever day I feel like doing it. Basically, keep your eyes open ;)

Here’s a bonus secret: I have a couple of things I won’t be posting here - one that is unfinished and not likely to be finished at all (and which I would post on AO3 if I did finish it) and one that is slightly risque (by my very very ace standards, lol) that I don’t want reblogged around. I’ll eventually post them on the Radiohusk Discord server, if you want to see them.

—–

Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to someday:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

Experiment in Romance (Hazbin Hotel)

—–

That’s it for the WIPs! Here are the promised sneak-peeks into Adventure gone Mini and the random Hazbin drabble (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fic itself due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

Mini

Link and Sidon were man-handled through a hallway between two mushrooms into another part of the building. Whereas the first room had been vast and grand looking – and thus perfect to play tag in – the next place had a more… sacred temple kind of atmosphere. There were ornate pillars all around the place, mystical yet peaceful looking paintings hanging from the walls, and an altar against one wall. There was also a small fountain in the middle of the room.

Before the fountain stood an adult Minish dressed in the same robes as the children were. They turned around to look when the rather noisy group entered the room.

"Oh, visitors?" they asked, rather unnecessarily in Link's opinion.

"Yes! We seized them at the door!" said the kid who had spoken before – or at least Link assumed them to be the same kid; not like he could tell them apart other than by size at best. "We don't know what they want!"

—–

Random drabble

Husk breathed heavily as he carried the limp form of Alastor around the corner and out of the combat zone. His chest hurt from his broken ribs being strained by the pressure of a body being held tight against them, but he didn't care. He just didn't fucking care. "Hold on just a little longer", he pleaded, and almost collapsed onto the ground when he finally reached the relative safety of the empty alley. He sunk down to his knees and gingerly laid the bloodied, broken form of Alastor onto the dirty ground to inspect his injuries so he could try to fix him up… ...Only to discover that Alastor was no longer breathing. No. Shit! No!

—–

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

AO3 FFnet Purple Crayon Ko-fi Radiohusk Discord

#Fanfic progress update

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im-the-king-of-the-ocean · 4 years

Text

@archaeopter-ace

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’d say about a 6. My process does lean toward the chaotic, but since I started using the godsend that is Scrivener last year, it’s been much, much easier to keep things organized.

Everything starts out in a single notebook I have. Currently there’s numerous messy first drafts in there, but it isn’t too hard to sort them out from each other since they’re all in the same place and I don’t have to go hunting for them.

pictured: my notebook where I write pretty much all my first drafts. What’s written in blue is the beginning of a Data Farms (Penny Polendina/Oscar Pine) scene where they talk about being trans alongside their magical-related experiences. The dark green is a portion of the Avatar!Oscar oneshot I posted earlier today.

Whether or not a notebook draft will be typed up word for word depends. A lot of the Avatar!Oscar oneshot was, but the Data Farms scene probably won’t be.

In the DF scene’s case, I mainly wanted to get a rough sketch of what I want to happen down when I wrote it in my notebook (a feel for how the characters are approaching each other, what’s on their minds, how they broach the topic subject, how sensitive the topic is (very sensitive for both Penny and Oscar), etc.). When I go to type it, a lot of things will probably get changed (I’m already considering a different first line, for instance). Some dialogue might remain, though.

A oneshot will be typed up in my master “Fanfiction” Scrivener file. It may take a couple of sit-down sessions to get it fully down, and then I usually like to read it over a couple times before posting.

pictured: the Avatar!Oscar oneshot I posted earlier (before it’s completion) in my master Fanfiction file. I can have multiple documents and folders in a single Scrivener file (viewable in my binder menu there on the left). Everything I’m currently working on goes in an “In Progress” folder at the top and everything finished gets organized by Fandom and then category.

For instance, now that the Avatar!Oscar fic is finished, it’s been moved down RWBY > Alternate Universes > Avatar!Oscar AU > Fics.

The process for my ongoing fics is relatively similar. Scenes start out as drafts in my notebook, and then get typed up in a Scrivener file. The main difference is that, whereas I generally only need one document for a oneshot, each ongoing fic has multiple documents and folders. Thus, I keep them in a separate “WIPs” file.

In the case of my fic, Dead Souls Living, it’s currently split into two “parts” folders, which are honestly mainly just reference points to differentiate big plot lines. Part 1 is titled “Captivity” and is largely focused on Ruby being held prisoner by the kingdom of Atlas.

Every set of 3-4 chapters (one for each main character POV: Ruby, Penny, Watts or Ironwood, and _WBY) is considered an “arc”. Those chapters are kept in an arc folder together.

Each chapter also functions as a folder for the scenes within it. I write every scene of a chapter separately and add them into the chapter document when they’re complete.

pictured: a look at Dead Souls Living’s organization, in the summary view of all four “arcs” of Part 1: Captivity. I can also go in and view summaries like this of all the chapters in an arc folder too.

For outlining, I use Scrivener’s corkboard view. What that does is give me index cards of all my documents, where I can write short summaries of what happens in them. When I first start outlining a fic, I usually put one or two ideas on a card and then move the cards around until I like the order. After that I’ll start grouping ideas together for chapters.

pictured: the corkboard outline of a fic I’m considering writing called “Portal Pals.” It would be a second Gravity Falls/Owl House crossover set decades before my first, Weirdly Magical, takes place.

My ideas for chs. 1-2 of Portal Pals have already been gathered and placed in cards for those specific chapters. I haven’t figured out chs. 3-5 at all, so there’s nothing for them yet.

On the one hand, I consider my writing to be chaotic bc I start fics on the slightest impulse and change around plot lines for my longer wips frequently.

Souls, for instance, when I started it, wasn’t organized into “arcs” (and even how I’ve done those has changed too). I’ve moved around scenes between chapters a lot, taken out scenes I was sure I was going to write, added in completely new, unplanned ones. What I planned one day may be completely wiped away the next pretty much.

On the other, I’ve found a software that works extraordinarily well with my writing style and keeps me organized. Whereas I once would have had issues with keeping track of all my notes and documents (I would constantly lose them or forget what was written where and which was the most recent draft), I now have literally everything set in a well-structured system that’s easy for me to use.

Being able to move documents anywhere I want in the file means I can move plot points and change things up to my hearts content, but I don’t lose track of them or the overall look of how a fic is going.

So chaos, but really, really well-organized chaos.

#whirls writing #today in i'm a walking advertisement for scrivener #seriously tho #it has helped me keep track of my fics so freaking much

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phantomchick · 4 years

Text

My wip list

Writing out my list of works in progress in the hopes that it becomes more manageable and easier to decide which to work on after I do.

-------

Call Me Fandom: dc comics / batfandom Summary: Jason calls Bruce for help after being assaulted, they deal with the aftermath both in the revenge way and the hurt/comfort way. Amount of work necessary to complete: ??? It’s a two parter fic so only one chapter left to go, however serious writer’s block to work through on this second part so who actually knows.

I tell myself that I don't need Anyone (But the truth is no one needs Me) Fandom: dc comics / batfandom Summary: The scene in UTRH where Bruce throws a Batarang into Jason’s throat is bullshit especially because there’s never any consequences for it, that’s not just bullshit, it’s batshit! And I refuse to accept it. A What if Jason didn’t disappear into the night after the events of UTRH to arrange for his next villain appearance, fix it fic. Amount of work necessary to complete: Likely going to be one of my longest fics yet, a multi chapter whopper! Which means a lot of work, both in research and in writing. I need to read up on ALL of the modern captain atom comics, a bunch of the crisis event chemo Bludhaven comics and maybe a couple of other ancillary comics of that era too, before I even get to writing the nitty gritty of the fic. We’re doing this canon and we’re doing it right! A fixing-everything motivated fic putting the canon divergence back into fandom.

The Many Curses of The Wayne Name / Of Curses and Covenants Fandom: dc comics/batfandom Summary: So much of a work in progress the official title’s still not completely decided! A fic delving into the relationship between the Wayne Family and the Zatara family, told through a series of curses various generations of the Waynes have been afflicted with over the years, some of these curses the Zataras were able to remove and some they couldn’t. Currently intend to have it end with Zatanna and her nephew Zach coming to dinner with Bruce and his kids. Amount of work necessary to complete: I already have an index of curses and which Waynes in the chronology get cursed where, ready to build with. But the series itself is still more a couple of lines and potential scenarios than any actual fic. Not sure how many stories I’ll end up telling here so unsure of how much work it’ll be to complete, likely a lot to get it off the ground though.

The Monster In The Man Fandom: Merlin, (bbc) Merlin, Summary: A continuation to CaffeinatedFlumadiddle's fic The Monster in the Mirror that ended on a horror-esque cliffhanger - written because my brain couldn’t handle the cliffhanger and had to extrapolate with a part two. Intended as a gift fic to that author. Basically the spell from an enchanted mirror has escaped and possessed Merlin, and is attempting to use Merlin’s worst fears against him until he kills Arthur. Can Arthur who has only just found out about Merlin’s magic save Merlin from what’s inside him? Amount of work necessary to complete: Currently at a little over 5000 words but likely to need at least another 5000 to both get to the main action and resolve things.

Those Winter Sundays Fandom: Marvel, Avengers, Iron Man Summary: Snapshots of Tony working hard for the avengers and no one noticing. Amount of work necessary to complete: Unknown as currently more of a wip idea than a wip itself, likely going to be a oneshot containing a bunch of ficlets.

Truth is Treason in the Empire of Lies Fandom: Marvel, Avengers, Thor Summary: Thor tells the story of his banishment and return to Asgard ending with Loki falling into the Void and the Avengers have some questions, questions Thor had not thought of, remarks on things that Thor doesn't know how to explain. He goes to Loki's cell and asks him some things becoming more and more angry despite having no one he can punch. Gets drunk and criticises Sif and The Warriors Three. Focus on Loki still being underage by Aesir standards during Thor 1. “For while the Treason I detest, the Traitor I love still.” Amount of work necessary to complete: Either a oneshot or a two chapter fic. Need to be careful to ‘show not tell’ considering the plot I’m going with is gonna have a lot of talking about things that have already happened.

A Trinity of Head Wounds Fandom: DC Comics, Justice League Summary: Friendship fic, angst and hurt/comfort Clark yells at a concussed Bruce for being reckless and because Bruce is concussed he ends up accidentally making the slightly addled Bruce cry. When Clark notices he shuts his mouth so fast he could've crunched titanium between his teeth. Diana walks in, sees Bruce in tears and PUNCHES CLARK ACROSS THE ROOM WITHOUT HESITATION. After that there’s a lot hurt/comfort on all sides and Clark opens up about his anxiety over Bruce’s mortality and Diana bleeds on Bruce’s shoulder. Amount of work necessary to complete: It’s a oneshot but it’s one of those difficult ones where you’ve got to get everything just right or the emotional intent gets totally lost so a big ??? for this one too.

Separation Fandom: DC Comics, UTRH Summary: Split personality disorderRed Hood and Jason Todd, alternatively, Red Hood is a demon/parasite latched on to Jay. Amount of work necessary to complete: A lot considering it’s currently just an idea.

A Stark in The Stars Fandom: Marvel, Avengers, Iron Man Summary: Tony’s survived the universe wide disaster known as the snap or the decimation and has even survived carrying out it’s reversal, but he’d much rather help Thor, Carol and the Guardians sort out intergalactic repair efforts than face the damage Steve has accidentally done to time itself back on Earth. He keeps forgetting the differences between what happened in the fake timeline and the original one the longer he’s on Earth and though he knows Stephen Strange is doing all he can to fix it, he also knows that the changes for him are a lot more confusing and disconcerting than they are for the others (Save for poor Sharon Carter). Pepper understands better than anyone and actually packed his bag for him (with Morgan’s help) when he tried to explain what he was feeling. Maybe the little settlement on that mineral loaded planet he keeps visiting on behalf of the dwarves can help him find what he needs to get past this. Amount of work necessary to complete: This is a slower more thoughtful work about learning how to live when you never thought you’d survive and the sense of alienation you can get as a veteran returning to a world that isn’t the way you expected it to be when you got home. As such, it’s very introspective, so I want to take my time with it but realistically it’s likely to be a series of vignettes from both Tony’s perspective and the perspective of the people he encounters out in his travels through the galaxies. Max 5 chapters.

Another Time, Another Place Fandom: dc comics / Batfandom Summary: Martha and Thomas Wayne are sent 20 years into the future only to see a young man they've never met standing in their drawing room. He claims to be their grandson. I just love the idea of Jason being left in the house with Damian and Duke with Bruce, Tim and Dick gone and he's the eldest so he's gotta look after the situation Amount of work necessary to complete: However long it takes me to get past the writer’s block for the ending - I have most of a plot outline ready to write based on, except for how I’m going to resolve things. A oneshot with the possibility of an epilogue chapter to follow.

Vicki Finds A Bat Fandom: dc comics / Batfandom Summary: Vicki Vale sees Jason Todd sitting in a wafflehouse. Chaos ensues. Amount of work necessary to complete: Currently a little over 2000 words, probably gonna need an extra 2000 before it’s done.

You Don't Know Anything Fandom: dc comics / Batfandom Summary: Gift fic for paradise_runaway. One where the other Bat boys find out the circumstances of Jason's death and resurrection and their reaction. Amount of work necessary to complete: Started and restarted multiple times, can’t decide which route to take with it. It’s just a oneshot so once I get some inspiration to hit for it, it’ll probably be done pretty quick.

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#wip list #writing is hard #i have more wips besides these #but these are the ones I'm focusing on #i promise i don't hate steve rogers but the ending of endgame with old man steve was terrifying when you think about it #the implications!!!!#my wips #so many wips #covers gen abo ficlet wip with my whole body #you saw nothing

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the-marvel-imagines-blog · 5 years

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Madness | Chpt. 19

Chapter Title: “A Bleeding Rose”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character (Eva)

Word Count: 12,364 (I got really carried away)

Warnings: slight angst (what’s new?), treason, mentions of violence, some madness...

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

Summary: Upon returning to Asgard with Harley and Kaia, Eva is surprised to discover where loyalties lie throughout Asgard, and she finds that her plan to visit her beloved has been made easier than she thought it would be.

A/N: I’m sorry for the longer wait this time. I’ve been in Maine for the past few days, and I just got back yesterday afternoon only to be met with the normal chaos. I drew a lot of inspiration from the ocean, and I plan to pour that into my writing over the coming chapters and some oneshots/imagines. Once again, thank you all so, so, so much, and I hope you enjoy this installment <3

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny @xletmetaste-yoursmilex @itsknife2meetu @mynameisyara @j-j-ehlby-writes @jillilama-blog (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

After a full day running through the woods, making friends with the wolves, horses, and other gifts of nature that were contained within the large spanse of forest, father called me inside. Childhood was too boring for me, especially since Hjalmar was old enough to wield a sword, and I wasn’t. Hjalmar was allowed to train with the eldest prince already, but father was always certain that my next nameday would bring about an age where I could learn to fight with my brother. It was always the next nameday, and when that one came around, it was postponed to the next one, and so on. I had met Loki that morning in the garden, and he snuck out of the palace to run through the forest with me. The animals within the woods settled when in my presence, so Loki could get close enough to pet them. They always liked him anyway, just as I did.

Loki always got into trouble for leaving the confines of the palace, just like I did for leaving the walls of my home. Our punishments were different, though. Father didn’t yell at me, but he spoke to me with a sternness that let me know how dangerous the outside world was. He tried to explain the unexplainable. His reasoning was something I didn’t understand. I had seldom seen Asgard in all her beauty. I saw the rivers and brooks, the inside of the palace when the queen invited me to join her, the beauty of the trees, the life of the forest, but I never saw the bustling streets of Asgard or the famous rainbow bridge. I wanted to explore, but I wasn’t allowed. Loki wasn’t supposed to leave the palace, but he did. Often times, we would lay on opposite sides of the shrubs that separated the castle garden and the forest, and we would speak to each other or just bask in the calmness of knowing that there was someone close.

I’d always fancied the younger prince, ever since I could remember, but I knew that it wasn’t my place to speak of those feelings. He was a prince, and I was a common girl with nothing to my name. I had nothing to give him other than an adventure. Father didn’t know of my feelings for the young prince, which was beneficial. It meant that he wouldn’t try to keep us apart. He wouldn’t put an end to my adventures in the woods or the many occasions when my father would invite Loki and Thor over to our humble cottage to give Thor time to train with Hjalmar and Loki time to roam the forest with me. I didn’t want to think of giving up the time I spent with him, or the places we explored. I didn’t want there to be an end to our friendship, but so many of the good things in my life did just that: came to an end.

I sat in front of the fireplace with father, upset that I was being confined to the house once more. There was no true anger that I felt for my father, but I was mildly irritated that Hjalmar wasn’t held to the same standards as I was. Hjalmar could venture out into the world beyond the forest, but I wasn’t allowed, “I know that you like the woods, Eva, but...you can’t run about all the time. The world isn’t meant for you to explore,” he told me, his voice as gentle as he could make it when his words were anything but. He knew that the rule broke my heart, that it slowly broke my spirits, but he also knew that it was a rule I couldn’t follow.

“But Hjalmar gets to explore all the time!” I cried, my voice threatening to give way to my emotions, “why is it that I’m kept hidden in this cottage? Why can’t I see the world? Why can’t I wander the woods? Why am I not allowed to do as Hjalmar does?” I asked, truly not understanding the reasoning behind the vastly different lives we lived.

Father grasped my shoulders in his firm, calloused hands, hands that had seen so much war, so much pain, “I want you to explore, Eva. I want you to be as free as Hjalmar. I want you to wander the woods and make friends with the animals and the trees. I want you to see Asgard and all she has to offer. I want you to run and play without boundaries, but there need to be boundaries because...the people of Asgard won’t understand you,” he explained, trying to be delicate with my heart. One thing I knew about my father was that he always tried to avoid causing harm, and it was especially true for his children.

I shook my head, my bottom lip quivering, “but they’ll never understand me if I’m locked away.”

When my eyes opened, the light of the Bifrost had faded away, and I stood before Heimdall once more in Asgard. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of the two Midgardian children who clung to my body. While I knew that he had watched me struggle with grasping the sad reality that the children would experience should I leave them on Midgard alone, he was still shocked that I followed through with my plan to bring them back to Asgard. While I was known to bend the rules and keep secrets from Odin, I wasn’t a criminal. I followed the laws of the land, but bringing Midgardian’s back to Asgard was a crime, a crime Heimdall didn’t expect me to make. I also wasn’t known for leaving alone and returning with others. In fact, it was the other way around, “we’re home,” I whispered to Harley and Kaia.

Kaia lifted her head from my shoulder, and Harley turned around. Both of their eyes fluttered open to take in the beauty of Heimdall’s observatory as well as the man who inhabited it. The gold armor that clung to his skin was reflected in Kaia’s blue eyes, and her jaw hung slack as disbelief filled her. I released my grasp on her, and placed her down onto the floor of the observatory next to Harley. Their eyes scanned the intricate designs of the walls as my attention turned to Heimdall. Even though he was shocked by their presence, he still offered them a warm gaze before turning it to me. I could sense no anger or frustration from him, which was unexpected since I knew that I had broken the law. He looked almost relieved by the decision I had made, almost like the old version of myself was coming back to life, the part of me that I thought had died when I forfeited my life.

Before we could exchange greetings, he spoke, “there are two guards outside Ezra’s cell in the dungeons, Sten and Erna; two standing guard at the top of the stairs, Ingvild and Magni; and two at the bottom of the stairs, Ephinea and Leif. There’s a horse waiting for you right outside the observatory, and Sindri is waiting at the palace stables for your arrival,” he explained, clearly understanding my intentions for returning to Asgard. While it took me by surprise, Heimdall had always been partial to Loki and I, even after Loki’s betrayal. He cared for us and believed in us the way Odin failed to. I watched my eyes brighten in the reflection of Heimdall’s amber ones, “each of the guards in the castle will allow you safe passage to the dungeons. They’re all expecting you and have given their word to not say a single word about your presence to anyone, not even to the King himself. Ephinea may have used a few empty threats, but they didn’t need much persuading. You’d be surprised where loyalties lie throughout Asgard,” he explained.

His words caught me off guard. It was shocking to hear that so many people-so many of Odin’s Kingsguard-would willingly keep secrets from their King just for me. Heimdall had obviously heard of my plans and sensed my urge to return to Asgard and spend time with my love, so he did the heavy-lifting for me in order to give me more time. Heimdall, the one who followed orders, would be disobeying his King, and it was for me. While I wanted to ask him what made me so special, I knew that it would be doing him a disservice. He did all of the planning in order to give me the time I desired with Loki, so to waste the precious time I did have would’ve been undermining all the work he had done

Instead, as I passed him, I grasped his right shoulder with my right hand and gave a slight bow of my head. When I lifted my eyes back to him, I watched as his gaze landed on my hand, and a warmth blossomed between us like it used to before I built up the walls around my heart-before my innocence was lost. It was a breath of fresh air. I could sense his joy-the pride-that built up in his chest. His eyes reconnected with mine again, “before you destroy his cell to get to him, just ask Ephinea to open it. I gave her the code before you arrived,” he advised me, once more showing me how loyal he was to me. His voice lowered to nothing more than a whisper, “the children...I don’t need to tell you that it’s against Asgardian law for them to be here. Our king-”

I cut him off, “he is my king no longer,” I hissed, thinking about what he had done to myself and my family for so long. If Ezra was truthful, and my visions were correct, Odin had torn my family apart, ripped me away from my only family. If he had no great love and care for me before, how could I assume that my actions would be overlooked? The repercussions of my decision to bring Harley and Kaia back with me would be serious. If Odin were to find out about the Midgardian presence on Asgard, he could have me tried and thrown into the dungeons for an indefinite amount of time. I could be banished from Asgard, or the children could even be sent back to Midgard.

If he tried to take them from me, though, he would be met with a fury and rage that Asgard has never known before. I knew what I was willing to do for the ones I cared about, and Odin wouldn’t receive any special pardon just because he sat upon a throne. He had betrayed me after I pledged my life and sword to him. If my visions were true, he had betrayed me and my family before I had even outgrown my bassinet. He wasn’t my king. I sighed, knowing that Heimdall didn’t deserve my exasperation, “my hand was forced on this matter. They will be under my protection here. I will leave them with my father in the forest, and he will see to it that they are kept hidden there,” I whispered, not wanting to alarm Harley and Kaia. They had known too much fear in their lives, and they didn’t deserve anymore of it.

Heimdall gave a curt nod of his head, understanding that this was who I had always been. I knew that he hadn’t forgotten me, the person I was before my heart was torn apart. He trusted my judgement, “your secrets will never be upon my lips, my princess. The Allfather will never hear of this from me,” he promised.

“Thank you, Heimdall,” I muttered, my appreciation clear on my face. His loyalty to me had never wavered, and I knew it wouldn’t start now. He had always been the most surprising comrades. For a man who was sworn to be true to the throne, he had often ignored that oath to show his loyalty to me. He kept my secrets, lied to Odin about my whereabouts with Loki when we left for Midgard, used the power of the Bifrost to help me, and defended my honor to Odin time and time again. He placed his faith in me and knew that I wouldn’t fail him.

With one final nod of approval from him, I lifted Kaia into my arms and grasped Harley’s hand before hurrying out of the observatory. Like Heimdall had said, there was a horse waiting right outside for me. Small gasps emitted from Harley and Kaia as they took in the wonder of Asgard. Even though I’d seen it countless times, each time I returned, the view seemed even more beautiful than before. I fell in love with the landscape time and time again. No matter how much indifference I felt for the Allfather, I couldn’t deny the beauty that was my home. As Harley and Kaia took in the sights of the golden palace and all that surrounded it, I lifted them onto the horse before hoisting myself up onto the back of the majestic beast behind them.

The ride to the modest cottage in the forest was familiar. It was a ride I had taken time and time again throughout my life, but my fear of returning home with two children in tow was similar to the fear I felt returning home without Hjalmar with me. The path leading up to the cottage was dark, lit only by the shimmering lights in the sky that reached through the forest canopy and down to where we were. When we were close enough to the cottage, I saw that there was that familiar torch still lit outside. Each time one or both of his children were away from home, he would light the torch at night. He told us that-should we return in the middle of the night-the torch would be there to guide us through the darkness and back home to him. He lit it each night until I decided to return home after Hjalmar’s death, but there were other times he lit it when Hjalmar and I were both safe at home. On the same day each year-shortly after my nameday-he would light the torch, and it would be left burning until the morning. When I asked him about it, he’d cast a knowing look at Hjalmar, but he would never utter a single word of it to me. It was a tradition that happened all my life, but I never understood it.

Right before I made it to the cottage, the front door swung open, revealing my father. His shoulder-length, dark hair was pulled back into a small bun, much like the one Hjalmar used to wear. A smile was clear on his face once I got close enough, but that contagious smile fell when he saw the two children I had brought back with me. The look on his face wasn’t one of disappointment, but it was one of understanding and mild concern. The law I was breaking was a serious one, but if my visions were correct, he had bent the rules in his favor a handful of times. I learned from my father. I brought home stray animals all the time in my childhood, wanting to give them a good, happy life. Now, I was bringing home children in hopes to do the same.

Pulling on the reins, the horse came to a halt, and I leapt from her back, guiding Harley and Kaia off of her and onto the sturdy ground below us. Once I had steadied them, I turned my attention over to Aaldir, who stood with tears in his eyes, “father,” I breathed out, my voice quivering in unchecked emotions. I closed every ounce of space that sat between us and threw my arms around his neck. His strong arms wrapped around my waist, and he lifted me off the ground, holding me tightly against him.

“My little wolf,” he greeted me in a whisper, his voice calm and quiet as he kept the nickname between the two of us. Even after he lowered me back down to the ground, I kept my arms wrapped tightly around him, not wanting to let go. I had so many questions to ask him, so many words to say to him, so much to learn from him. I hadn’t seen him in what felt like years but what was only a few days. In that time, though, I was left with so much uncertainty and instability, and I needed his guidance once more. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of myself. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of what I was capable of and the impact it could have on others. Aaldir was my rock, my foundation, my guide, my protector. No matter how many namedays I celebrated, I would always need him by my side.

His hands snaked between us, breaking the hold I had on him. He cupped my cheeks in those calloused hands, pressing his lips to my forehead. My erratic heartbeat became clear to me, and I wondered how long it had been like that for a moment, but it finally began to fall into a steady rhythm in my chest. He pressed his forehead against mine, mirroring what I had done to Harley and Kaia in order to settle their nerves as well as what my father had always done to me, “I’m so glad you’re home, little one,” he rejoiced in a low voice, causing his chest to rumble. A smile spread across his lips as he spoke the words of joy, but I knew that I would be forced to break that joy.

“Actually,” I began, pulling away from him and casting my gaze over at the children I had brought back with me. My eyes flickered between them, and I offered them a comforting smile, wanting them to feel as at-home as they possibly could. I turned my attention back to my father, “I’m only returning for the night. I came to see Loki and to bring them here...where they will live under my protection,” I confessed, not wanting him to get his hopes up that I was finished with my business on Midgard. There was still a very real possibility that I wouldn’t return home, and that was why I was trying to tie up every loose end I could find. I didn’t want there to be a single word unsaid or a stone unturned, which was why I would visit Loki and confront him as myself, instead of an illusion.

He sighed, the smile fading from his lips as I anticipated it would. He turned his attention over to the two small children before him, still standing patiently at the side of the horse, “so, who’s going to introduce me to the newest additions to the family?” he asked, a sincere, paternal smile spreading across his lips. He knew what I was doing by bringing them here. Even though it could be detrimental to my reputation and safety, he understood why I needed to make my decision.

I nodded my head, walking back to stand between Harley and Kaia. It was clear that neither children had too much experience with strangers, which was a good thing, but I knew how sudden all of this would feel for them. It was probably best to bring them to Asgard in the dead of night, when the majority of the population was asleep. If I decided to bring them back during the day, they would’ve been even more overwhelmed by the amount of people in the streets of Asgard. Still, this was an entirely new world for them and a new person who would be introduced into their lives. It was a lot to take in, but I knew that my father would be gentle with them. He knew how to make people feel at ease.

Kaia clung to my legs, and Harley wrapped his arms around my waist, both children trying to hide their faces against my body, “this is Harley and Kaia,” I introduced them to my father, gesturing between the two of them. I gazed down at them before gesturing over to my father, “and this is Aaldir, the man who raised me...my father,” I introduced him to them.

Aaldir knelt down onto the ground, understanding that his height-which was equal to that of my late brother, and thus slightly greater than that of the God of Thunder himself-could be intimidating to such small humans. His frame relaxed, and he made himself smaller, more approachable. His eyes flickered over to Harley, “you, young one, look like a little warrior already. I suppose you’ll teach me more than I’ll end up teaching you,” he laughed, and I watched as a proud smile spread across Harley’s face. My father had a way with people, with easing their nerves and making them feel welcome no matter what the circumstances. He was a force to be reckoned with when he was angry, and he was one of the greatest warriors Asgard had ever seen; however, throughout all my life, he made it clear that he was a father and a caretaker before anything else. He reminded me of my younger years as he spoke to the children.

Before he looked back up at me, his eyes caught Kaia’s little blue ones, and he gazed up at me, “you, my fair little lady, will be a princess one day, or you may even be a warrior like your brother. If you’re lucky, you can even have both, like my daughter,” he whispered, gesturing over to me. I never understood how people could use the term “princess” so loosely that they would associate it with me; however, I didn’t care much for semantics. Aaldir’s eyes flickered between Harley and Kaia, “both of you will have beautiful futures here on Asgard, and I’m going to make sure of it,” he promised, his eyes soft and welcoming just as they had always been. Everyone who was ever lost could find a home in our little cottage. My father loved to host people, and as long as he was around, no one ever went without. If I didn’t return from Midgard, I was calmed by the knowledge that he would take care of Harley and Kaia the same way he took care of Hjalmar and I. They would live prosperous lives, lives filled with joy and laughter.

Kaia was the first to break away from me, her arms dropping from where they had once been wrapped tightly around my legs. I didn’t try to hold her back from closing the distance between her and my father because I knew that he would never bring harm to any child, especially not ones I was taking in under my protection. Kaia’s eyes scanned his body before she moved over to him as slowly as the breeze on a lazy summer morning. She was testing the waters, still unsure of him. It was so different from how she was with me, immediately running up to me and throwing herself onto me. As soon as she stood face-to-face with my father, she reached up and cupped his cheek. A smile spread across his lips, and his brilliant white teeth were exposed for a moment. It was a rare occurrence when he smiled like that, but with them, he did, “hello there, little bird,” he mused, mimicking the nickname I had given to her.

“I know you, too,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around his neck as a sign that she was ready to give her full trust to him, much like she did with me.

His large arms encased her little body, and he smiled to himself. It was a sense of pride that he was accepted into her heart, and it was similar to how I felt upon meeting both Harley and Kaia. He stood up, lifting her up off the ground and holding her against his side. His eyes locked with Harley’s, “would you like to come inside?” he asked, his voice soft.

Harley nodded his head slowly, slightly hesitant. I knew that everything was so new to them, and Harley was having a difficult time accepting the changes. I had taken him to a new realm, and I was introducing him to a new man. He was comforted by the fact that I knew Aaldir. Harley had faith in me, and I had faith in my father, meaning that Harley-in a roundabout way-had faith in my father as well. He trusted me not to put him in danger, and I’d never break that trust. I rested my hand on Harley’s shoulder and kept him close to me as we walked inside. The fire was still crackling in the fireplace, and the sound alone brought me back to the countless nights Hjalmar and I would sit by the fire as the rain poured down against the roof. He would wrap an arm around me and hold me close as my eyes studied the flames that licked the cobblestone.

I took my seat on one of the chairs in front of the fireplace, and my father took a seat in the one right across from me. Kaia climbed out of my father’s lap and curled up onto my own while Harley sat at my feet on the floor, wringing his hands in his lap. There was seating around the fireplace that he could’ve taken up, but I knew this behavior well. He found himself in a new place, and he wanted to attach to what was familiar. I held Kaia close and ran my fingers through Harley’s hair. My father smirked, “it’s a modest little cottage, but this is where I raised my children. It’s much more inviting and beautiful during the day, and there’s always plenty to do,” he explained, gesturing around the house.

I nodded my head in agreement, “this place-this little cottage-will be your new home as well,” I added, gazing down into the beautiful, wonder-filled eyes of the children I was able to protect, ones who I wouldn’t fail, “the house of fear and pain you both grew up in will never be replicated here. You’ll never know hunger, abuse, or loneliness again. This is a place where you will be loved, protected, and cared for. You will know warmth and joy,” I promised, brushing Harley’s hair back before gazing into Kaia’s eyes, “you will be free to live as children. You will receive an education that is tailored to you, and I’m going to support you in whatever lies ahead,” I continued, knowing that support, love, and protection was what they needed in order to grow into the people I knew they could be.

“When you wake up in the morning, you will be introduced to the life we lead here. My father will show you both around the cottage and the land we tend to. Perhaps he’ll even bring you to the tree and tell you the story of it as he once did with me at a young age,” I suggested, glancing over at my father with a raised brow, “but for tonight, I must leave you. I have matters to tend to at the palace, and it’s already far too late for you two to still be awake,” I stated, smiling down at them to ease the tensing nerves I sensed when I mentioned that I’d have to leave them again. It was similar to when I mentioned it before tucking them both into bed. When I was finished in the dungeons, I’d head back to Midgard, so this could potentially be the final time they saw me. Still, I had complete faith that-should I perish on Midgard-my father would take care of them and raise them as he did me.

Neither of them protested the plan, but they just brought themselves closer to me. As soon as Kaia let out a little yawn, her eyelids becoming heavier over her doe blue eyes, I knew that it had been the longest day of their lives. So much had transpired, and they were both ready for bed. The warmth of the fire, the smell of the hot cobblestone mixed with the smell of the forest that was carried in by the soft breeze, and the sound from our family stable and the rustling leaves were enough to make anyone tired. I lifted Kaia up, settling her body on my hip, and I held my hand out for Harley. Once he rose to his feet, I led him into my bedroom, opening the door to reveal the place I grew up. It was my little section of the cottage, a place that belonged to me. Surely, my father would end up building onto the house once more to make extra room-a plan he spoke of often-but for the time being, Harley and Kaia needed a place to rest their heads.

I lowered Kaia into the bed first, watching as she nestled into the warmth of the blanket and pillows. Loki always teased me for the sheer amount of blankets and pillows I always requested on any bed we shared, but he was no better. Once Kaia was settled into the bed, Harley climbed in next to her, pulling the blankets up to his chin. I situated myself on the edge of the bed next to Harley, “I’m going to return before daybreak to see you both prior to me going back to Midgard. Don’t wait up for me, though. My business at the palace will take some time, and you both need your sleep. The man I’m leaving you with is the man who raised my brother and I, so I know the type of man he is. If I didn’t think he would treat you as his own, I wouldn’t be leaving you with him. He’s going to make you both feel at home here, and by the time he finishes showing you around tomorrow, I’ll be back, okay?” I asked, wanting to make sure they were as comfortable as possible before I left them.

“But you will come back, right?” Harley asked after nodding his head. There was a clear look of concern in his eyes, mirroring the concern he wore when I was preparing to leave with Tony. He was worried about me. It was the same worry I had when I was a child and my father was leaving for battle.

I knew that I couldn’t lie to them, but I also couldn’t let them down, not with their expectant eyes on me with so much hope. I sighed, knowing that my answer would need to be delivered in the most diplomatic way possible. It was a balancing act. I didn’t want to startle them by being too hopeful, but I also didn’t want to tell them about my situation with my sudden lack of strength and high probability of not returning, “I don’t know what the future holds, little one, but I do know that I have more reasons to return now than ever before,” I answered, grasping onto his hand as my eyes flickered between the two of them, the two additional reasons for me to fight as hard as I could.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his forehead, lingering there for a moment as I tried to pour every ounce of maternal love I had into that one simple gesture. When I pulled my lips away, I rested my forehead against his own for a fleeting moment before moving on and repeating the process with Kaia. I transferred the most beautiful dreams to both of them, wanting them to sleep soundly without the fear that had continuously plagued them. I sat upright on the bed, gazing down at them, and the memory of my meeting with Frigga after Hjalmar’s death resurfaced. She spoke the comforting words I wished I had heard from him, comforting words that I would carry with me for the rest of my life. In that moment with the children, it was my turn to pass on that wisdom to them, “know that if something happens-if I don’t return-that nothing truly dies, it simply retires for a while only to return again when we need it most. If I don’t return, look to nature, and you’ll always find me there,” I smiled, “I love you both so much that nothing-not even death itself-could part me from you.”

The plan at the stables worked exactly how Heimdall said it would. Sindri, the man who was in charge of the palace stables, waited patiently for my arrival. While he couldn’t hide his joy that I had returned, he didn’t make a scene about it, either. There was a joy in his eyes that I’d only seen when the common people looked at Thor or Odin. They were almost...awe-struck. I didn’t understand why I received the same attention, but it was clear to see that I held a place in certain hearts around Asgard. Sindri whispered to me about how glad he was that I had returned, even if it was only for a short time, and as he stumbled over his words, I wrung my hands slightly, feeling the anticipation creeping up with the thoughts of seeing Loki in person once again. The previous time hadn’t ended well at all, so I was taking another calculated risk.

I handed the beautiful, chestnut mare away, understanding why Heimdall had chosen one that was so plain. It was so that just in case anyone had caught a glimpse of the horse, they wouldn’t know if it was me. My own horse, Aria, was pale white. She had carried me into battle more times than I could count, and she left the battles with me, oftentimes covered in blood. She came to me in the strangest of ways, too. There was one night, late in the evening, when I heard a voice in the forest that sounded familiar but foreign all at the same time. It was the voice of a woman, but I couldn’t decipher her message. Instead of waking my father and brother to accompany me, I grabbed a torch and wandered through the woods, following the strange voice. It seemed to pull me in each direction, never staying in one place, almost like the voice wanted me to get lost.

Every step I took that night felt like I was growing both closer and farther away from the voice I desperately wanted to make myself acquainted with. With each step, though, her voice became clearer, even when it did seem to distance itself from me. My name was upon her lips, an enchanting sound that I hadn’t heard before then, but it was a sound I had familiarized myself with through my visions of the past. While I didn’t know who it was at the time, I knew her now. Death. That night, Death called to me, lured me into the forest, and left me a gift. Her voice did nothing but pull me in. Each time I heard it, whether I was dreaming, having a vision, or in the comfort of my own home, her voice captivated me and left me unable to fight back the urge to seek her out.

When I had finally reached that familiar tree-the tree of life and death-the voice suddenly stopped as I gazed upon the beautiful horse. She was magnificent. Her body looked strong, and she was taller than any horse in Asgard, but she was more agile than any other, too. She was a majestic beast with a pale white coat and an ashen mane and tail. She was beautiful, strong, and brave. She was a creature infused with a strange sorcery. She had received wounds and blows that would’ve killed any other stallion or mare, wounds that should have killed her, but she continued on, strong as ever. By the time I brought her back home, her wounds had healed completely, and she was only left in her blood, my blood, or the blood of others who perished on the battlefield. She was famous for being my horse, so when she was seen around Asgard, people knew I was present. That was the last thing I needed when I was trying to sneak around.

With my gown flowing behind me, I walked through the halls of the palace as quickly as possible, passing by a plethora of guards who simply gave small nods as I passed by, but they never brought any attention to me as they normally did. Normally, most of the guards would strike up a conversation, but that night was different. It was just as Heimdall had said. My presence wouldn’t be spoken of in the morning. The guards would keep my secrets, looking in the opposite direction as if they were oblivious. As I padded through the winding halls of the palace, trying to avoid the places I feared I’d be caught by Frigga or Odin, I passed by one of the many balconies Loki and I had stood upon to gaze out at the world we loved so dearly, a world that never fully accepted us.

Upon crossing that balcony, I cast my eyes out to catch a glimpse of Asgard only to find that the balcony had not been empty. With her back facing me, I hoped not to catch the attention of my queen, the woman who helped raise me, the woman who knew more about me than almost anyone else. I knew that Frigga had often taken late night strolls through the castle, which was something I partook in when I spent the night in Loki’s chambers-a frequent occurrence. When the moon hit a certain position in the sky, I knew that it was time to leave the warm arms of my life, dress myself, and walk the halls of the palace with his mother, listening to stories of his boyhood. Most of the memories were ones I had been present for, as there had rarely been a moment Loki and I weren’t together, but there were others as well: beautiful moments.

Not wanting to risk being caught and kept from my plans to visit Loki, I tried to step back as quickly as possible. There were other ways to the dungeons, other hallways that wouldn’t result in my presence being discovered by the Allfather. I knew the palace like the back of my hand, almost as if I had grown up there. While Odin rarely appreciated my presence within the walls of the castle when I was a child, Frigga argued on my behalf time and time again, telling him that it was just as much my home as it was Thor and Loki’s. She knew that wherever Loki was, that was where I wanted to be, regardless of where that was-in the middle of the beautiful palace gardens, or in the middle of the battlefield.

Before I could walk away, her voice pierced through the silence, “your presence has been missed greatly throughout Asgard,” she murmured as she turned around to face me, “the people here feel lost without you,” she added, a smile forming on her lips as her eyes took me in. The dress I wore was one Frigga had made for me upon my request. She often sent tailors to the cottage in the woods to inquire about new gowns, and the one I stood in front of her in was one I hadn’t worn in too long. It was the one I wore on the last beautiful day, the day my life came crashing down, the day I realized I’d have to face so much on my own, the day Loki left. Loki had often called the gown ethereal, and every time I wore it, he reacted as if it was the first time he laid eyes on me.

Knowing that I’d been caught, my heart sank. There was a very real possibility that she would divulge the news of my return to Odin, and I wouldn’t be able to visit Loki as I had planned. I forced a half-hearted smile onto my lips, trying to keep myself from crying. All the planning that Heimdall had done, all the oaths the guards were breaking, all the people who turned a blind eye to my presence to allow me the freedom I desired-their efforts would be in vain. Frigga motioned for me to join her on the balcony, and she turned around once more to face the wide open horizon. I took my place next to her as I had done so many times before. She often found Loki and I on the same balcony, the two of us dreaming of the world we would create together. Her voice sounded from beside me, “I understand you’re on your way to see him, and I don’t want to impede on the already limited time you have with him. I just hope you know that I’m glad you’re back, even if it’s only for tonight.”

My breath hitched in my throat as I gazed over at her, the moonlight catching a stray lock of hair that brushed against her cheek. My eyebrows furrowed as I thought of why she had always taken my side. Keeping my secrets was nothing new for Frigga, but I didn’t know whether or not I could expect the same kindness upon returning from Midgard after leaving in some of the more dire circumstances. A part of me felt like I had abandoned my people, the people I looked after for more than a thousand years, and I was certain they would see it in a similar light. Only a handful of people understood my love for the Midgardians, and even fewer understood why I would sacrifice my life to protect even one of them. Frigga was one of those people, but I didn’t expect her to be so welcoming after my “betrayal” of sorts. In a time when Asgard was in need of our best defenses, I disappeared to Midgard. Why would she extend a hand to me? What made me special in the first place? I cocked my head to the side, “you’re not going to tell the Allfather?”

She smirked as a feather-light chuckle was held back by her lips. Blue eyes that I’d stared into a thousand times throughout my life when I needed guidance locked onto mine, “you’d be surprised where loyalties lie around Asgard, my dear,” she murmured, her words mimicking those of Heimdall after he described the plan he helped devise for me. Frigga made it abundantly clear that she had been in on that plan, and I knew, deep down, that she must’ve played one of the most vocal roles in it. She brought her hand up to rest on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, “I do what I believe to be right, and I believe in you and my son, my little trickster. Go to him,” she urged me, gesturing to the hall I had once inhabited before our encounter.

I glanced back at the hall, feeling just how close I was to Loki, how close I was to what could be the end of my life. There was so much that was left to do, so much that was left to be said. Loki and I lived so many beautiful years together, and the idea that this could very well be my last time to be with him made me want to postpone it and hurl myself right into it all at once. There was also the fear that he could’ve changed his mind again. Since he left me that day in the garden, there had been a constant back and forth between the two of us. How was I supposed to know if his feelings were still the same as they were when I visited him in his moment of fear and need? Before I could bring myself to move, my eyes met Frigga’s hopeful ones once more, “could I ask something of you?”

“I will check on them both first thing in the morning,” she answered before I could even ask the favor of her. She knew exactly what I was going to request: that she look out for the children I brought back with me. I didn’t know how she knew about them, but I’d never been able to keep secrets from Frigga for very long, “do you think you’re the only one who watches?” she asked, clearly referencing the amount of time I spent at the edge of Asgard, inquiring about the many souls I looked after. Loki was one of those souls as well. When he cut all ties with me, I still wanted to keep an eye on him, to make sure he was okay. I’d ask Heimdall to check in on him every night when I snuck out to his observatory. Frigga broke me away from my thoughts, “when you’re gone, I keep a close eye on you just as you do everyone else. I knew you’d be bringing them back from the first moment you laid eyes on Harley. I’ll have clothes made for them immediately, and they will be taken care of until you return home. While you’re on Midgard, I want you to focus on nothing aside from making it back to us, so know that they’ll be in good hands.”

Without fully understanding why she would be so kind to me, I was overcome with so much joy to have someone like her on my side. It drove home what I’d always known. Frigga would have my back and support me in every single thing I ever endured, every journey I ever embarked on. I threw my arms around her, breathing in the familiar scent of her. It was a feeling of comfort, a moment of peace I had in a time that seemed so chaotic. Frigga had-for my entire life-been the only mother I’d ever known. She did what I dreamed my own mother would’ve done for me. The thoughts of my own mother, the mystery surrounding her and her identity, brought up the many visions once more. I tried to suppress those thoughts as Frigga’s arms wrapped around my waist, “if you decide to bring someone else back home...I still have the dress I made for her as well.”

*Loki’s POV*

I laid in bed, my back facing the cell wall that would remain sealed until the day I died. Odin would never release me, nor should he. I didn’t deserve another sunrise, not after all I had done, but I’d be lying if I claimed not to yearn for the warmth against my face once more, or the cool night air against my cheeks as I ran through the woods with my love. I faced away from the wall partly to keep myself from facing the people I once knew as friends and partly to avoid the ever-watchful eyes of Ezra. His manipulation was continuing to take its toll on me. I had to constantly keep my mind locked up in order to keep him out, but it also meant that I was keeping Eva out as well, a person I never wanted to push out again.

Every time I closed my eyes since that night, I saw the same view of her dead body on the streets of Asgard. I couldn’t sleep because I was forced to relive that nightmare, hearing her scream out to me for help, seeing her lifeless body covered in blood. It was the most intimate pain he could’ve put me through. It was as if he could just sense what I was most afraid of and use that fear against me. My greatest fear always had been and always would be the thought of losing her. Thanos knew it, and Ezra discovered it. I had done heinous things when Eva’s life was on the line. Thanos used that fear against me in order to control me, and when I slipped far enough into the madness, he didn’t even need to use that fear anymore.

In my state of madness and delusion, I told myself that I was far too damaged at that point for her to ever love me again, so I began my path of destruction and chaos. I took my anger and pain out on everyone else in my wake, tearing apart the lives that I promised to protect at one point. Her and I had made sacred oaths to do all we could to protect the people of Earth, believing them to be some of the most intriguing, fragile, and even resilient people. I tore that oath apart when I attacked New York. It was the day the madness tried to kill away the last part of who I was. The most terrifying thought was that Ezra could so easily build back up that fear and delusion because he knew what made me the most vulnerable.

Suddenly, there was a silence that fell upon the entire dungeon. Normally, the other prisoners were beating on their cell walls, yelling, trying to provoke a fight with one another, or trying to provoke fights with the guards. They were an unruly group, and Ezra was the only one who had been restrained in his time in the dungeons so far. His silence came as no shock to me, but the sudden silence that fell over everyone was uncharacteristic. Still, I couldn’t be bothered to even roll over to look at what had caused the sudden disruption. Instead, I continued staring at the wall where I had begun to hang Eva’s many letters, wanting to surround myself with their love. Even though I couldn’t have her presence in my mind, I could feel her presence through the beautiful words she had written to me over the millennia.

“Loki,” I heard that all-too-familiar voice from behind me. For a moment, I wondered if Ezra had broken past the walls of my mind once more, if I somehow had failed to keep him out. Still, I couldn’t pass up any opportunity to see her. Hoping it wouldn’t be a disembodied voice, I rolled over to see her standing inside my cell.

Knowing that it was impossible for her to actually be there, I sat up in bed, groaning as I pushed myself up. Either she was visiting me as an illusion-which would be incredible, since she was on Midgard-or Ezra was building up another horrific narrative that I’d be forced to go through. No matter what it was, I didn’t have the strength to have my heart broken once more. I turned my attention over to Ezra in his cell only to see that he was looking at her with just as much confusion and disbelief as the rest of the prisoners had. She was the only one who could ever silence them. Before my fall, Eva used to frequent the dungeons and speak to the prisoners, claiming that every living being deserved to experience life. By visiting them, she was restoring pieces of their humanity. They always stopped bickering and yelling when she arrived, and they did the same that night, “the illusions are cruel, Eva,” I growled as I narrowed my eyes at her, certain that it was a vision since Ezra looked to be taken aback by her presence. Still, if she was visiting me as an illusion, it didn’t make sense that other people were able to see her as well.

“It’s not an illusion,” she claimed, the side of her mouth pulling up into that crooked grin that I fell hard for in our younger years. Ever since our childhood, I was wrapped around her finger. Every free moment, we spent together. Even when we were meant to be busy doing other things, we found our way to each other. The crooked grin was one of those little quirks about her that I still found to be lovely.

“Pfft,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at her claim, not believing her for a single second, though it would’ve made sense as to how the rest of the prisoners were able to see her, “and I’m going to be the King of Asgard someday,” I mocked, not wanting to get my hopes up. Holding her was something I yearned for since the very day I left her in the garden, since the day I broke her heart in two. However, I knew that I would die without receiving that connection again. I’d never be able to feel the delicate, sweet touch of my love ever again, and I’d never be able to feel that soft, supple skin against my own for the rest of my days. I deserved every ounce of punishment I was given. Odin didn’t want to put me out of my misery. He wanted me to live every single day with the guilt and shame I felt. Killing me would’ve been too merciful.

“I should probably start referring to you as ‘majesty’ then, shall I?” she asked, mocking me right back as she always had. Eva had never once given me a reason to question her. When she made promises, she kept them, and when she said something, she meant it. She wasn’t the type to lie or be deceitful, so it wouldn’t make sense for her to start now. Still sensing that I wasn’t fully convinced, that I wasn’t willing to throw myself at her feet until I knew-without the shadow of a doubt-that she was actually standing before me, she sighed, “close the doors of your mind. Shut me out. You’ve done it before,” she instructed me, referencing the handful of times when I had pushed her from my mind, when I strained the connection we had to one another. Eva always told me that we were bound together by a thread of stardust, and I was aware that whenever I pushed her away, it put pressure on that thread.

The process of shutting her out, of ripping her away from me, left me feeling cold and isolated. It took its toll on my emotions, but I wanted to prove her wrong in that moment. Coming to me as an illusion was one of the cruelest things she could’ve done, but she didn’t understand that, and she never should. It was similar to holding a piece of red meat in front of the face of a starving predator. I was starved for her touch, the feel of her gentle, loving, beautiful, sun-kissed skin against my own. I yearned to hold her, to wrap my arms around her just one more time, even though I’d be hard-pressed to let her go. I wanted to fall asleep in her arms, to hear her sing me to sleep as she had so many times before. A part of me would rather see nothing than see a vision of her.

My eyes connected with those brilliant green ones. Each time I saw them, they were more beautiful than last time, but they were also much more despondent. It was as if she took in the most breathtaking sights from her travels, and her eyes reflected that, but they also reflected the horror and sorrow she witnessed along with the beauty. So much of that pain happened after I left her in the garden, after I spoke with Odin, after I tore us apart in order to save us both from the long-term misery. Before that moment, the pain in her eyes wasn’t as prevalent. Her eyes were a window into her free-spirited soul, and I had a hand in tainting that.

As I closed my eyes, I came to terms with the fact that when I opened them, she wouldn’t be in my cell with me. The only two explanations as to how she was in my cell on that night was that Ezra put her in my head or that Eva was projecting herself to me. Either way, the process of closing my mind would push them both out, and she would be gone. A stray tear cascaded down my cheek as I wished for my suffering to come to an end. I wanted to hold her, and seeing her as a vision was a constant reminder that I’d never be able to do that again. It was a reminder that I threw away my one chance at happiness when I distanced myself from her. The woman who stood by my side was the one I cast away.

Upon opening my eyes, the pain having run its course, I expected to see an empty cell. Instead, I was caught off-guard to see that she was still present, a tender smile making its home on her lips. She still stood on the other side of my cell in the dress I found to encompass her eloquent beauty better than any other garment. She knew it was my favorite gown of hers, as it made her look like a proper goddess. When she wore it, we would often find our peace in the forest, and I’d busy myself making a crown of flowers, leaves, and twigs for her to wear. Upon placing the crown atop her head of wild, dark brown hair, I’d call her a proper wood nymph, which always elicited a laugh that spread happiness and joy into my very soul.

Before she could speak, before I could even comprehend that she was standing before me in the flesh, I shot out of the bed and scrambled over to her, throwing my arms around her slender frame. My arms wrapped tightly around her waist as I tried to pull her closer and closer into me. It was almost as if we would never be close enough until we molded into one being. Suddenly, my entire world felt like it exploded with life. As I held her, the colors in the room seemed to become more vivid than they had once been. I buried my face into her neck, breathing in the sweet smell of her. She always smelled of the forest, which wasn’t uncommon since she spent the majority of her time there, but she also smelled like a fresh spring morning. In those small details, I knew it wasn’t just a dream.

Her arms wrapped around me, holding me close to her as the joy overcame me and manifested itself in a way it had only a handful of times in the past. Tears began to freely fall from my eyes as I held onto the one thing I let go of because of my fear and pain. She was like a breath of fresh air when I was drowning, and even though I was undeserving of that, it didn’t mean I appreciated it any less. I shook my head, still in utter disbelief, as my tears soaked into her shoulder. It was as if every ounce of pain and grief had led up to that very moment, and I could truly feel just how heavy my actions weighed on her. I pulled away from her just enough to gather her face in my hands and turn her head up until our eyes met.

Her cheeks were wet with fresh tears, and I watched as droplets of both joy and sorrow continued to spill from her eyes. I shook my head, wiping them away with the pads of my fingers just as quickly as they were falling. The last thing I wanted was to see her cry, but the moment was overwhelming for both of us. For some reason, she missed me just as much as I missed her. It would’ve been easier on her heart if she just tossed me aside and forgot about me; however, I knew her well enough to know that she’d never do something so cruel...not like me. My bottom lip quivered as I held back a sob, “I’m sorry, Eva. I’m so sorry. I cannot say the words enough to make up for all the harm I’ve caused you, all the pain and suffering I’ve put you through. There was always a reason for it, but that reason is foreign to me now. I’ll spend my entire life trying to make it up to you,” I promised, pressing my forehead against hers and relishing in the feeling of her skin against my own. Gods, I missed that.

Before I could move away from her, she grasped the back of my neck, and in one swift motion, she pressed her lips against my own. It was very much like our first kiss. It started quickly, but the moment our lips met, we began to melt into one another. Our lips molded together perfectly, much like our bodies always had. After a passionate night, I would hold her close to me, our bodies fitting together like pieces of a puzzle that we both knew how to solve from the beginning. No matter how we held each other, our jagged edges just fit into the other perfectly. Our broken hearts still had plenty of room for each other, and I felt that once again. For the longest time, I debated whether or not she wanted to see me again, and if she saw me, I was sure we’d never again share the love we once had. My doubts were put to rest the moment she kissed me, though. The soft, tender touch of her lips against mine pulled me back to the man I was in the garden...

The man who stood before her with a ring in his pocket.

As the initial shock wore off, I gathered her body in my arms and pulled her flush against me. Her body arched into mine as our lips danced to a song only we knew the words to. Her right palm was flat against my cheek, and she draped her left arm over my shoulder and tangled her slender fingers into my wild black waves. The kiss was needy in a pure sense. Throughout the course of our lives, we were with each other. Even as children, we found comfort in each other far more than we found comfort being apart. We never spent more than a day without one another, and our love blossomed through that closeness. Being with her, I never felt lost. I always felt like I belonged somewhere, and that was in her warm embrace. She was my home. The kiss we shared was our acceptance that this was where we were meant to be: together.

“I wanted to hate you,” she confessed as she pulled away from the kiss that left the sweetest taste upon my lips. I continued to hold her against me, feeling that the closeness was what she desired more than anything in that moment. Her conflicted eyes met mine once more as she spilled her heart out to me, “I wanted to hate you so badly because maybe if I did, the pain would’ve died away, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to hate you even after everything you had done, after all the promises you broke, after all the lives that were lost, after all the time that was taken away from us. It took me so long to understand that the man who did that-the man who broke my heart-wasn’t you. The man who tried to kill away my love took every ounce of happiness I’d ever felt in my life, but...I still love you because that wasn’t you,” she added, the tears continuing to stream down her cheeks.

I cast my eyes away from hers, unable to look at what I had done to the woman I loved so dearly. I never stopped loving Eva, even during our time apart. The thread that bound our hearts together had never been broken no matter how many times I tried to cut it. We were one being, and nothing I had done was able to change that. All it did was cause the two of us so much unneeded pain. My decisions, my corruption, my descent into madness had caused her so much unbelievable pain and agony, and I felt it all when I looked into her eyes. It was the first moment we were able to speak of the tragedy that plagued our relationship, and it pained me so deeply that I hurt the woman I promised to protect so many years prior. The hand that still rested on my cheek turned my head until our eyes met once more. She observed me, her eyes flickering between mine as I opened my mouth to speak, “if I could go back with all the knowledge I now possess, I would’ve forfeited the rest of my life if it meant saving you from the agony I put you through. You deserved the very best of me, and I failed you. I never would’ve pushed you away in the first place. I would’ve grabbed your hand and asked you to run away with me, but I didn’t. I think about that every single day.”

She shook her head, “listen to me when I tell you this, Loki,” she urged me, moving the hand that had once been tangled in my hair to rest against the other side of my face. She cradled my head in her strong, loving hands. That was one of the most stunning things about my beloved. Her strength never diminished her beauty, and her beauty never diminished her strength. They worked in perfect harmony. She was delicate and fragile, but she was also strong and brave. She was fierce and protective, but she was also tender and quiet. It was the most incredible phenomenon, and I was still left in awe when thinking about the woman I had the privilege of loving for so long, “the man you became was not who you are, and I know that. I know you better than I know myself. The man who did those things was hurt, angry, and full of grief, and he tried to push you aside to make room for himself.”

“The man who left me in the garden that day wasn’t the same man who picked a small bouquet of flowers every single day like it was the first time we were seeing each other. He wasn’t the same man who laid awake with me after a private night of love to dream of what our future family would look like. The man who hurt me wasn’t the same man who loved me. You taught me some of life’s most valuable lessons, Loki, and you did it by loving me. For a thousand years, you stood by my side and picked me up when I fell. Now, it’s my turn to show you that I’m prepared to do the same for you because I still love you after all this time, after all the space that has been put between us. Nothing and no one has ever been able to change that, and they never will. I’ve loved you since before the first star began to shine at the beginning of time, and I’ll love you long after the last one burns out.”

My hands cut between hers and I caressed her cheeks with my long fingers. They had always been one of her favorite things about me-my hands. I was unsure as to why she was so fascinated with them, but when she described her love for them, her poetic nature showed through time and time again. She claimed that from the very first moment we lost ourselves in each other, she watched my fingers whenever we spent the night together. My anticipation for our first night together was clear in the trembling of my fingers, which was something I found embarrassing, but it was something she found endearing and memorable. It happened in the moments of excitement, love, and fear. My fingers anchored themselves against her cheeks. One of her hands covered mine while the other rested against my chest, directly over my heart. I sighed, “I hurt you in ways I can never make up for, and I’ll be searching for redemption until I take my last breath, Eva. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I’ve done,” I confessed, tears continuing to stream down my cheeks.

“I’ve forgiven you, though,” she whispered, her voice like a feather-light touch in the early hours of the morning. Her eyes filled with the same determination I saw from her time and time again, but there was more clarity than ever before, “I forgave you for all of it the moment I saw that you were alive on Midgard. I forgave you for what happened in New York when I saw how much pain you were in. I’ve forgiven you, and I’m going to help you forgive yourself no matter what it takes.”

I shook my head, unable to understand how someone who was filled with so much light would venture into the darkness to meet me where I had been dwelling for so long. She was still the embodiment of righteousness and purity. She valued life above all else, and when she fought, she fought for life. On Midgard, she saw a side of me that wanted to ruin that, a side of me that was selfish and cruel. I didn’t understand why or how she could possibly forgive something so horrific, “I’m a monster,” I reminded her, stepping away from her and disconnecting our bodies from one another. The cold set in once more, but it was more shocking when I had finally experienced the warmth again.

Frustration filled her eyes as my words sunk in. She hated it when I used the word “monster” to describe myself, but it was the truth. I had always been a monster, and I was convinced that she had just been too blinded by our love to see that. I didn’t see my goodness the way she claimed to, and after everything I had done, everything I willingly took part in, there was nothing good left within me at all. She refused to let me go, though, “you’re the man I love, the only man I’ll ever love. You’re Loki, the God of Mischief, a Prince of Asgard. You’re one of the greatest sorcerers this realm has ever seen. You’re a poet, a composer, a work of art. You’re my love, my light, and my life,” she explained, closing the space between us, her eyes pleading with me to understand, “you are so much, Loki, but you’ve never been a monster.”

“What about New York?” I pressed, wanting her to see me for what I had done.

“You were a man who was taken advantage of by a monster, a man who was manipulated and torn to pieces. Do I wish that things had played out differently? Of course, I do, but I don’t have the time or the energy to think of what could have been when I’m with you right now, ready to show you all the love I’ve saved since the garden. Besides, the monster in New York wasn’t you...it was Thanos,” she hissed, his name like venom on her tongue. It was startling to hear her speak his name. That was a name I never wanted to hear on the tongue of my beloved. She knew of him, and that was too dangerous. All I could think of was that she would try to avenge me for what I went through prior to New York, and she would be killed in the process.

Her eyes flickered away from mine, and I noticed a hue in them that I’d never seen before. A hint of red, like the color of a bleeding rose, infiltrated the color of the meadow. I’d never seen anything like it before, but by the time she blinked, it was gone, and I wondered if it was only in my imagination. She cast her eyes back up to meet mine, and I saw the rage in her, “when I find Thanos-and I will-he’s going to beg for death when he sees what I do to him. I’m going to tear him apart and make him hurt in ways he’s never even imagined. All the pain I’ve felt over this will pale in comparison to what I will do to him, and when I’m finally done with him, when I’ve finally had enough, I’m going to rip his life apart. Every person he’s ever loved, ever cared for, ever spoken to will feel my fire. His memory will be eradicated from the universe before I kill him in the most brutal way imaginable. All the while, I plan to enjoy the way he screams, the way he begs for his life. He doesn’t know death yet; he hasn’t met me,” she ranted, catching me off guard.

In all our time with each other, in the thousand years we’d spent together, I had never heard a single word of hatred and contempt upon her lips. She was the most merciful, kind-hearted, gentle woman in the known and unknown universe. She breathed life and goodness into everything she did. To hear her speak so harshly about a man she had never met, a man who could end her life with the snap of his fingers, was horrifying. I knew that she was a force to be reckoned with, but I never expected to see so much hatred in a woman who showed nothing but love. The contempt in her eyes, the brutality in her voice, the violent desires she had, I knew it all. I knew that look. I knew those feelings. It was dangerous. It was chaotic. It was destructive. It was…

Madness.

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