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auteurdelabre · 6 months

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Something to Fight For (SERIES) Part 11

Word Count: 7.0

Pairing: Dad!Joel Miller x f!reader (no use of y/n, no age or physical descriptions)

WARNINGS: Sexual innuendo, sad angsty shit.

A/N: The story is gonna twist and turn and you may want to jump ship. But I hope you can trust that as your captain I’m gonna get our two leads to a safe and happy shore.

Being with Tess is easy.

She likes the same movies as Joel, drinks the same beer, and has a kid the same age. She hates sardines and black and white movies. She's a nurse, so nothing much fazes her. She fits well with Joel.

Sarah and Daniel don't know Joel and Tess are dating. As far as the kids know it's just play dates more often and the occasional dinner.

Tess has every other weekend free. Daniel goes to visit his dad then, plus half the summer. On those weekends Tess comes over after Sarah is asleep. She stays the night in Joel's bed and leaves before Sarah wakes up. She's aggressive in bed which is a nice change of pace for Joel.

She tells Joel everything. What she loves about her job, her hopes and aspirations. She confides in him when she's anxious about Daniel being at his dad's. There's nothing hidden, nothing secreted away.

It's only been a few weeks but Joel likes it. It feels comfortable. He doesn't worry that Tess will stop calling. He doesn't worry that Sarah is getting too attached.

He just exists in it.

And if he thinks about you sometimes so what? If he stands in the shower, water running down his back in rivulets as he thrusts into his fists and comes holding in the moan of your name, so what?

It doesn't mean anything.

But then last night. The horrible thing he said to you. The way you'd looked at him with such disgust in your features.

"I'm not her mother"

"Damn right you're not."

He wakes the next morning with a stone in his stomach. His bed is full of Tess and her sweet smelling hair and her sleepy smile when she rolls over. But he can't smile back. He can't do anything because he's hurt you. He hurt you in a way that wasn't fair. And you're mad at him and why shouldn't you be? He had so many ways of approaching it, so many ways he could have told you and instead he fell back into what he always finds familiar; irritation and anger. Those emotions are safe, those emotions keep him strong.

But then why does he feel so weak right now?

He wants to phone you but knows how that went the last time.

He presses an absent kiss to Tess' temple as she leaves at dawns first light.

Then he rolls over, curling into himself, hating every moment of the last twenty four hours.

But mostly, he hates himself.

////

"YOU'RE FUCKING ENGAGED!"

"I'M FUCKING ENGAGED!"

You and Maria are jumping up and down in her kitchen, holding hands and giggling like you're teenagers again. She keeps spinning and holding her hand up to look at it.

"Isn't the ring perfect?"

"More than perfect!"

“I didn’t see it coming at all,” Maria enthuses. “I still can’t believe it.”

Your face is hurting from all your smiling. Seeing Maria so elated, so over the moon is making your heart expand bigger and bigger.

"We're gonna do a little engagement dinner in a few weeks," Maria tells you. "With our best man and maid of honor!"

You do a little mock bow. The wedding is going to be a quick one. Maria and Tommy have never been over the top wedding people. Just something simple with family and a few friends in a few months. You know that this will mean more time with Joel and to your credit you don't wince or act horrified when Maria mentions about you and Joel being in the wedding party. You smile and hug her and say that you can't wait.

But memories of that last conversation you had with Joel are seared into your brain.

And while everything in you commands you to run and hide from the conflict, you raised the phone to your ear later that night, breathing shakily.

You're not losing Sarah.

You may have lost Joel in all this bullshit, but you're not losing Sarah.

Your hand is trembling so severely you hit the wrong buttons on your phone and have to redial.

"Hello."

"Joel, we need to talk. I know you're busy so I'll keep it brief," you say trying to quell the panic creeping into your voice at his flat greeting. "It's about the other night."

There's a long sigh.

"It was fucking horrible of me to say. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I tossed the money at you like that, like some fucking asshole.” You can hear him and he’s pacing, the familiar creak of his kitchen floor sounding over the phone. “I’ve been thinking about it since you left last night and I’m fucking sick about it. I just. . . I wanted to call but I thought you’d want me to leave you alone and I just. . . I'm so fucking sorry, please forgive me.”

He trails off and you stare at your phone. You weren’t expecting that. You think you’d been ready for him to be more defensive. So it throws you, causing you to speak stilted and stumble over your words.

"W-well, It’s just… I just wanted. . . yeah, I forgive you. I wanted to say that I'm sorry."

You can hear the delay in his response, the surprise in his voice. "Wait… You're apologizing to me?"

"Yeah," you nod even though he can't see it. "I mean at first I was really pissed off. And I still am about some stuff. But, then, I thought about it and I think I can see why you were upset. I didn't talk to you or Sarah the whole time I was gone."

Joel gives a small hum in response.

“It was wrong of me to do that.”

And suddenly you can't speak because now there’s a knot in your throat that you're having trouble swallowing through. You hear him moving back and you imagine that he's moved to sit on his sofa. The silence stretches on to an uncomfortable length and you hear Joel clear his throat.

“S'okay if I say something?”

You choke out a sound of agreement.

"Michelle said she'd always love Sarah," Joel says in a voice of quiet solemnity. "But if that were the case it wouldn't have been so easy for her to leave."

You find your voice at that. "That was different, Joel."

"Not to Sarah. You know how she is about her Mom. She barely knew her and she’s still devastated about it. The photos, the stories help but there will always be that missing piece in her that I can’t fix.” His voice catches before steadying. “It's easy for some people to say they love a person. It's the sticking around that's hard."

"I know."

"And I know you say you had your reasons and I know you never would do anything to hurt Sarah on purpose but the fact of the matter is you did." Joel sounds like he's taking a shuddering breath. "You know she asked me why you hadn't come around? When I told her I didn't know she asked if you were mad at her."

Sarah had thought you were mad at her? You could not feel worse if you tried. You take a steadying breath, your eyes slamming shut.

"I'm sorry," you say, your throat tight. "I'm so fucking sorry."

Now the tears come, soft and silent. You're so thankful Joel can't see them over the phone. You can hear him sigh gently and it's the sigh of a man whose walls are coming down.

"I know," Joel says soothingly and if he were there with you, you just know he’d be holding you in his arms. "I know you are. And I'm sorry too. It was a knee-jerk reaction. Its just she's my kid and hearing you say you love her was terrifying. All I could think was how heartbroken she’d be when you never came back."

"I understand."

You hadn't wanted to talk about this. Hadn't wanted to bring up the horrible trip back to Chicago. But you can feel Joel slipping away from you and you panic.

"If you give me a chance I'll explain what happened when I was gone. I'll tell you everything."

Pathetic hope flares in you. If you explain maybe there's hope. Maybe he'll --

"I don't want you to do that. Don't want you feeling like you have to talk about something that'll upset you.”

“You wanted to know,” you say with a panic in your chest.

“But there's no real point, is there? Doesn't change anything," Joel murmurs. "What's done is done n' I'm with Tess now. I don't want you dragging stuff up that'll make things hard. I don't want you hurtin'.”

Don't you fucking sniffle.

"Right, yeah," you answer him through tightly closed eyes. "Of course."

Don't let him hear you cry.

He's with Tess. There's no confusion there, no wiggle room. You dig your fingernails into your palm to keep from crying, leaving tiny crescent moons in the flesh of your hand

"Just know that I'll always be there for Sarah," you swear this oath ardently. "As long as she needs me, I'll be there. I know you don't trust that right now and that's okay, I don't blame you. If I was her parent I'd probably feel exactly the same. But I need you to know that I mean it. I love her, I really do. I wasn't lying about that."

Joel is silent and you can imagine him looking off into the distance in that silent, introspective way of his.

“You mean a lot to Sarah and to me too. Even if we can’t be together like I thought, you mean something to me. I don’t want you gone from our lives. You asked if we could be friends and . . .” You hear him inhale sharply. “I wanna give it a shot.”

Is this what heartbreak feels like? This searing pain that goes through a person’s sternum? It sure as fuck feels like it. More acute that anything you felt with Paul, stronger despite the shorter time frame you’ve had with Joel. Well, you had nothing with Joel did you? Not even a day.

"I want that too. I know what it's like to feel abandoned by people you care about," you offer, your fingernails digging into your palm further. "I would never want to do that to Sarah."

"I know that," Joel assures, and his voice holds all the warmth of the world. "I know you never meant to hurt her. And again I’m sorry for what I said; it was a horrible fucking thing to say and I didn’t mean it."

All you want is to be there in that house in his arms.

"I'm sorry too. I really am. I hope one day you and Sarah can forgive me."

"Forgiveness was never the issue," Joel replies softly. "You had that the minute you asked for it. It's the forgetting that's hard."

"Yeah."

The forgetting.

///

Time has a funny way of making you remember.

You thought you'd never see him again.

Never see the way his black hair falls into his blue eyes. Never see the shy way his mouth quirks when you say something funny.

And yet here you are at a nearby coffee shop talking to Paul. Paul, the man who broke your heart.

He looks better than you remember. He finally got a better haircut. He seems calmer than before as well, his lithe body leaning back in the chair regarding you as the cafe bustles around you.

You've just finished telling him about the sanctuary and he responded in exactly the way you wanted, with a kind of truthful enthusiasm that made you fall for him in the first place.

"That's amazing," he enthuses shaking his head in disbelief. "Scratch that, you're amazing. Look at how much you've done for that place."

"Not just me," you insist, feeling guilty about taking all the credit.

"Ah yes," Paul takes a sip of his coffee. "How is James?"

"Alex, actually. James resigned."

"Oh wow," Paul looks shocked by this. You consider talking to him about James being a big booger sugar fan but then decide against it. But you do tell him about getting kennels built and how your office has been renovated.

Paul has always had this ability to make you feel like the most fascinating person on the planet. When you talk he really listens.

You've missed that.

When his face grow sober and he puts the mug next to yours on the table, you immediately tense. Paul means across the table, his hand clutching yours. You note this with passivity.

"I'm so sorry for what happened. Your mom told me."

"How?"

"She called me." Paul is tilting his head slightly, a habit that always reminds you of the dogs you see at work.

"Why would you be in contact with my mom?"

"We talk sometimes."

"You do?"

"Of course," Paul replies softly. "Until this most recent one, you weren't returning any of my texts and I was worried. I wanted to check up on you."

Irritation goes through your veins like a drug. You pull your hand back from his, wrapping it around your mug.

"You broke up with me, Paul, remember? Why would I be responding to your texts?"

"Because it's not like we broke up because we stopped loving each other," Paul insists. "We just wanted different things at different times."

You lapse into silence, considering this. He's not completely wrong, you surmise. For you, it had been the bitter end of a relationship, for Paul. It seems it was simply a pause.

"I told you I'd always love you," Paul continues. "And I meant it."

"You also told me we were drifting apart."

"its how I felt at the time," Paul answers honestly. His eyes trace your face in a way that feels tender. “I wanted to go on tour, I wanted to bring music to people. You used to want that too.”

“Yeah, well,” you clear your throat, moving back in your chair and shrugging. “Things change. I changed.”

“I know something about change,” Paul offers with a shy smile. "I got a job teaching music. Doesn't pay a ton but it's reliable."

This shocks you. Paul had been so dedicated to his music, so invested in making it his everyday reality by touring all over.

"What about Jack and the band?"

"Weekends," Paul shrugs. "A hobby."

You’re gobsmacked. A year ago you had needed to split up because of Paul’s unwavering belief that touring with Jack was what needed to happen. That he would live the rest of his life unfulfilled if he didn’t.

And now he sitting here across from you, offering himself up as the exact man you wanted him to be?

Timing is everything.

Fucking timing.

"A lot has changed in a year," you say coolly.

"A year without you has felt longer," Paul confides. "Thought I knew what I wanted. But playing music and touring? It's not the same when you don't have your person to come home to."

You hate the way your treacherous heart lurches at that. Your bruised heart you’ve tried to mend.

"I missed you, baby."

You feel all the hurt from the past few weeks with Joel heavy on your heart. The realization that yet another relationship didn't work out for you. The thought that maybe there’s a reason things never work and maybe it has everything to do with you and being unlovable.

"I missed you too, Paul."

And it's true, you did miss Paul. You'd loved Paul for so long. And even though that love is buried you think that maybe, just maybe, there's a chance for revival if it’s cared for and nurtured.

You talk for a long time. You talk about what it would mean to be back together. You talk about your fears and what it would look like to be a couple again. You talk until the woman who runs the cafe politely tells you to leave.

Paul wants you, even after everything. Paul is here, not Joel. It will never again be Joel.

So later that night when Paul gently guides your mouth to his you let him. You let him hold you and kiss you and you think that this is all you can hope for.

This is all you deserve.

///

You and Maria pull into the parking lot of the restaurant to celebrate the engagement. You're thankful it's not the shitty Italian place you had your first 'date' with Joel. This place is more casual with a pub-like ambiance. Despite this, you've dressed up a bit. Done your hair nicely and pressed perfume to your neck.

Maria thinks you're all done up for her for her engagement party and remarks how beautiful you look, but this isn't true. You did it because as his best man, you know Joel will be there.

The thought of a whole evening with Joel would have intimidated you a week ago, but after your phone conversation you feel excited to see him. Plus he's undoubtedly brought Sarah and she is the brightest of bright spots.

"Over here!" Tommy calls and as you turn your head to follow Maria you see Joel sitting at the table beside a beautiful woman who smiles up at you as Maria and you approach.

He brought Tess?

The minute he sees you, a look crosses Joel’s face. A look that you can’t actually decipher. He murmurs something to Tess and then he’s moving from the table towards the washrooms. You don’t bothering watching him go.

Tommy offers you and Maria your seats next to his at the booth. You’re directly across from Tess and Joel. You want to hold in a groan.

“Hi, I’m Tess,” the woman says with a small wave from her side of the table. You wave back, introducing yourself. Tommy pushes a menu towards you and you busy yourself reading the specials, trying to stop the galloping of your heart.

“Joel says you're the best babysitter," Tess enthuses with a broad smile, determined to talk to you. "And Sarah never stops talking about you. I feel like I'm meeting a celebrity."

"Mmm." You feel sick to your stomach. "Where is Sarah? I thought she'd be here."

"I convinced Joel to let my mom take care of the kids tonight," Tess explains. "Took a lot of convincing though. You know how stubborn he can be."

"Oh sure," you say glumly.

Tess seems to want to say more but Joel has returned from the washroom and slid into the chair next to Tess and across from you. You could be mistaken but his temples look damp, like he splashed water on his face.

"Did I miss anything?" he asks, looking between you and Tess.

"Just saying how my mom is babysitting the kids so we could come solo tonight," Tess smiles at him.

You toss back your drink. "Does she have her first aid?"

"Huh?" Tess is looking at you confused.

"Your mom. Does she have CPR training?" You continue. "Can she drive at night if there's an emergency?"

"Hey." Joel's voice is a low warning, his eyes narrowed.

But Tess's face has broken into amusement and she's laughing in a way that can only be described as musical. She rubs Joel's arm with affection.

"Joel she's kidding."

"Yeah," you say with a forced smile. "Kidding."

"Maria told me you were funny," Tess acknowledges. You don't know what to say to that. You give a polite nod before everyone's attention is drawn to the end of the table. Maria and Tommy are seated there. Tommy has his arm around Maria and she's nestled under his armpit like she was made to be there.

"Thanks for coming out," Tommy says raising a glass. “Just a little something to celebrate us getting’ engaged. Nothing fancy but let’s raise a glass and…Well, except maybe you. You keep your glass on the table.”

Tommy winks at you as he motions to your pint, the meaning obvious and Maria lets out a barking laugh, turning to you and shaking her head.

“I can’t believe you did that.”

“Tommy!’ You defend, your cheeks flaming. “You told her?”

“He couldn’t stop laughing telling me,” Maria informs you. Tess and Joel are looking at the three of you dissolving into giggles, confusedly. Tommy sobers quickly, raising his glass once more.

“To finding the right person,” he says warmly. “To love.”

You raise your glass along with the rest of the table, tapping it gently against Tess’s glass when she leans over with her glass extended. You ignore Joel when his tips towards you. Instead you drink deeply, letting the hoppy ale coat your tongue.

You learn more about Tess because she never seems to stop talking. She's a nurse. She's a beer fan. She's nuts about horses. Of course she is. She probably has a secret collection of flannel shirts too.

With every new detail you find yourself pouring another glass of beer from the communal pitchers. The beer momentarily makes you feel more affectionate towards the group, even annoying ol' Tess who seems determined to talk the entire fucking night.

She's pretty. Closer to Joel's age and very confident. That's the only word you can think to describe her. The way she carries herself, the way she can just interject comments into the conversation all night as if she's been part of the group forever.

“We’re going to the site tomorrow morning early,” Tess enthuses now. “Can’t wait to see it.”

"Oh, are you a construction worker as well as a nurse?" You don't mean for it to sound snarky, but it comes out harsh and ugly.

Maria and Tommy shoot you a similar surprised look with raised brows. Joel is glowering at you and Tess is laughing awkwardly.

"I just mean," you scramble, trying to salvage your faux pas. "You seem to know -"

You watch as she wraps a hand over his shoulder, resting her chin there and looking at Joel fondly.

"I just wanted to see where my man spends all his time."

My man.

Thankfully the waitress is there with pitchers of beer for the table before you can say something hideous. You throw yours back by the time everyone is just finishing their first sips. Maria is still looking at you incredulously.

"Are you seeing anyone?" Tess asks you politely. And now you can feel so many sets of eyes on you, it causes your skin to crawl. You think about your audience, unsure if you should answer.

But then you feel like there’s this overwhelming air of pity around the table as they look at you. You suppose this is what motivates you to answer how you do.

"Uh, yeah," you nod looking at your dinner. "His name's Paul."

There’s the sharp clattering of cutlery and you wince. You just know that Maria heard you.

"Wait, did you say Paul?" Maria is leaning forward to see you down the table. You can feel her eyes on you. "When did that happen?"

"Maria," Tommy says placing a calming hand over hers.

"Sorry," Maria says blinking rapidly and forcing a smile. "I just didn't know. Just caught me off guard."

"Wait, Paul Paul?," Tommy says now as his mind finally connects the dots. "The guy you dated before? The musician?"

Please stop. Just stop asking me-

"I thought this whole dinner was about celebrating your engagement," Joel says coolly. "So let's talk about it. Mainly, how much do I have to spend on your bachelor party when you did fuck all for mine, Tommy?"

The tension is broken for the moment and the group laughs before it falls into a comfortable pattern of chatting. For a moment you’re suddenly grateful to Joel for diverting the conversation.

You begin to like the beer, even though you've never been a big drinker. You like it because it makes you feel fuzzy and warm.

You try your best not to look at Joel through the dinner. But he's across from you so it's hard. His kneecap brushes yours at one point and you nearly jump out of your skin. It's when he shifts, putting his arm on the seat behind Tess, letting his hand drift lazily against her shoulder that a sudden anger unleashes itself in you.

All the goodwill you have for Joel from that phone conversation seems to be ebbing away with every pint you throw back. He's sitting there practically rubbing it in your face that he's with Tess!

Fuck Joel Miller. Fuck him for thinking its fine to tell you how much he cares about you and then find another woman so easily. If he liked you so much why were you so easy to replace?

The meal is almost over when you get a buzz on your hip. You pull out your phone under the table and see Paul has sent you a message.

C u at home gorgeous. I'll bring dessert.

You swallow thickly before placing the phone back in your pocket. You feel eyes on you and glance up to see Joel studying you from across the table. You pour yourself another beer.

"How many is that?" Joel murmurs in a low voice only you can hear. The rest of the group is chatting at the other end of the table.

"Last time I counted it was..." You adopt a contemplative look, pretending to add in your head before your face drops. "Oh right, none of your business."

You throw the drink back with renewed gusto. Joel watches this silently, his face revealing nothing, before his attention is back to the group.

You start to understand why people love beer so much. It makes you numb to the fact that Maria looked horrified at the thought of you being back with Paul. It makes you impervious to the sight of Tess caressing Joel's forearm in front of you, as if she's purposely trying to rub it in.

"Maria I forgot to tell you, I found the best charity shop by the boulevard."

"Please tell me it's nothing like the last one you dragged me to," Maria says with a chuckle. "I'm still finding glitter all over my closet!"

She and Tess break into high pitched giggles. Your fork stills on your plate at the sound.

Wait. Maria and Tess have been hanging out just the two of them? It's not enough that she's taken Joel, now she's gonna come for Maria too?

A coiling tendril of insecurity and anger starts to move through you and as if she can sense it, Tess turns and smiles in your direction.

"You should come with us next time! Maybe we can find some good stuff for the wedding."

She's coming to the wedding?! She's known Maria and Tommy for what, a month, maybe two, and now she's invading the wedding? A sickening sensation is taking you over. A sensation that has nothing to do with Tess’ offer and everything to do with wanting to slap Joel fucking Miller across his beautiful, horrible face.

"I'm busy," you mutter.

Tess's smile is fading and the rest of the group is now staring at you awkwardly. Except for Joel, he's openly glaring at you. You can see the muscle in his jaw working overtime as he pins you with his gaze.

Tess glances at Maria and then back to you giving a weak laugh. "But, I didn't say when we were going."

Fuck.

Your cheeks burn with embarrassment. You want to be anywhere but here. You hate the pitying look Tommy is sending you even worse than the open hostility that Joel is.

Maria seems to sense your discomfort because she's talking loudly about dessert. Everyone agrees that a tart sounds great.

You take this opportunity to slink off to the bathroom feeling properly admonished. You move with a slight wobble as you stand, finding it much harder to walk now that the restaurant is so packed and the room seems to be tilted.

You stand outside the washroom door, hidden behind the wall for a few moments. Is it too late to just run? No, fuck, your purse and phone are back at the table. Maybe you can tell everyone you got food poisoning?

"The fuck are you doing?"

Your eyes dart to the approaching figure of Joel. He rounds the corner, stalking towards you like a creature of terrifying grace. He comes to stand inches from you, so close you have to tilt back a bit to see his face.

"Whadda you mean?" You say trying to keep the slur from your voice.

"Being a bitch to Tess for no reason? Getting wasted?" Joel replies pointedly. "In all the time I've known you, I've never seen you have more than one drink."

"I'm not drunk," you counter even as you struggle to focus on his increasingly blurry face. "You don't see me all the time Joel. You don't know if I drink or not. You actually don't know me at all."

"I do know you," Joel replies in a voice so dark and low it feels siphoned from the soles of his work boots. "You think all you deserve is that asshole that left you."

You give a scoffing noise. Joel Miller of all people is trying to give you relationship advice?

Joel continues, his neck bending so he can keep your eyes. "Hell, I don't think you even like him. He's just convenient."

You want to scream in his face. You want to pummel his strong chest. And you want to hug him, to have him hold you. It's so complicated being around Joel and it infuriates you that you still feel this way knowing you can't have him.

"What do you care?" You shoot back, holding the door to the washroom to keep your balance. You make sure to pitch your voice low and quiet so the table can’t overhear. "You have perfect Tess and now you'll have a perfect family and a perfect life. How perfectly fucking perfect for you."

You know you sound absolutely crazy as you say this to him, your eyes half closed in a drunken stupor as you sway in place. Joel looks exasperated.

“You said you wanted to be friends.”

"You guys sleep together yet?” you say over him, not hearing what he’s just said. “You tell her the same stuff you told me that night?"

Joel's gaze hardens. His shoulders are shaking as he breathes in and out at a rapid pace. You want to punch something. Mainly Joel’s face.

"You tell her that you want her for your own? That you need to taste her? You probably do. I was such a fucking idiot."

You go to walk away but Joel is stopping you, his hand on your shoulder keeping you there by pressing it to the wall. He does it lightly and you know if you pulled away from him he’d let you go. But his eyes pin you to the wall, keeping you there.

"Tess doesn't walk out when things get tough," Joel tells you in a low whisper. "She doesn't tell me how she feels and then leave and ignore me for weeks."

"Nope. She's perfect."

"She doesn't need to be perfect. She just needs to talk to me, to not run away from me." Joel is inches from your face. "Do you know how I felt when I heard from Tommy that you'd been talking to Maria the whole time you were gone?"

You're surprised by this. You weren't aware he'd known anything about your trip away, including who you talk to.

"I told you how I felt about you and then you pick up and leave," Joel says in a voice that feels dragged from the base of his abdomen. "And I was the one here panicking, calling you, begging for you to call me back like a fucking loser."

"You’re not-"

"You never called once."

"I couldn't."

"You called Maria." Joel defends.

"Maria is like my family," you say with a deep frown, irritated that you have to defend yourself. "I've known her since we were teenagers."

Joel is silent, his face drawn into a cold frown.

"Joel, I couldn't call you. We were so... fresh, so new." You run your hands through your hair, tugging. "I couldn't stand the thought of dragging you down with me."

His eyes are searching yours. "That wasn't just for you to decide."

"Yes it was!" you insist, your voice wobbling. "I get to decide when and what I share, Joel."

"You do," Joel replies airily. "Just don't expect everyone to be waiting around for you when you finally decide to do it."

"You certainly weren't," you bite back. "How long after you told me about all those feelings did you go running off to Tess?"

Silence.

“C'mon Joel," you demand, your drunkenness feeding your ire. "All those feelings you claimed you had churning up inside you. Where did they go so quickly? Be honest."

If looks could kill you'd be dead five times over. He pulls back, his hand moving from your shoulder and falling to his hip.

"Or maybe they weren't as strong as you led me to believe," you say swaying as you try to keep your gaze focused. "Maybe you just liked the attention, Joel. And now you have someone new, someone easier, someone who doesn’t know that you ran just as quickly as I did."

Joel shuts his eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath, it's slow and even and you are terrified at the sound of it. It's as if he's a giant balloon releasing all the hateful tension of the last five minutes.

“I wanted you so fucking badly. I told you things I’ve never told anyone. Ever. Not even Tommy.”

You feel sick to your stomach listening to Joel because in all the time you’ve known him you don’t remember him sounding this defeated. Then his eyes open and it's like you've been kicked in the gut. All the hatred and the fury you'd been expecting is gone. Instead all that remains is a naked sorrow that makes you do a double take.

“And I get to your house that morning and you won’t look at me and your bag is packed and all I can think is that it’s Michelle all over again. So yeah, I fucked up and left. I’m sorry.” Joel’s breathing is unsteady. “But you don’t get to act like it’s the same as what you did to me. I called you how many times that day to apologize? And I didn’t expect you tell me everything. I just wanted to know you were okay. I wanted to be there for you. And you shut me out.”

Please Joel. Please don’t look at me like that. Not with eyes that sad.

“And you don’t want me. That’s fine. You tell me you want to be friends? I agree to it. I moved on with a woman who has made it clear that she wants all of me and you’re mad at me for it?”

Are you mad? Its what you wanted wasn't it? Less complication? Joel as your friend?

So then why are you this fucking angry?

"I. . . I thought you wanted us to be friends," he says in a voice so quiet you almost don’t hear it.

You stare up at him, blinking as his words register with you. Friends. You can't be friends with Joel Miller. Not when you like him this much. Not when the sight of him still makes your stomach do cartwheels.

But there’s still a fire in your belly, multiplied by the alcohol but definitely not reliant on it.

"I don't want to be your friend," you bite back. "I don't need you using me as free babysitting so you can go off with Tess and get your dick wet."

This is the ugliest thing you've ever said to him. Maybe to anyone. It's such a cruel, twisted thing to say to a man who has done nothing besides not wait around for you to decide whether you like him or not. Joel stares down at you with a look of such disappointment you're convinced you could shrivel away to nothing under it.

"That was a shitty fucking thing to say."

You wonder if he's going to yell at you or slap the wall beside your head. You never find out because Maria rounds the corner to see you both locked in a mutual glare.

"Hey guys, was wondering where you got off to," Maria says eye-balling you both. Its clear there is tension, made even more obvious by the seething glare Joel shoots you before stalking back to the table.

You both watch him leave and then Maria is staring at you with a look of someone solving a very large and very obvious puzzle.

"You like Joel."

You want to shake your head and insist that she's wrong. You want to deny everything and force a laugh. But instead your head drops forward onto your sternum and you're holding in tears.

"Yeah."

Maria brings you stumbling into her arms and guides you to exit the restaurant. She's brought your purse and she holds you steady as you weave out the doors.

"I'm taking you home."

"The dinner -"

"Over anyway," Maria insists as you both buckle in. "The dessert was disgusting."

She lets you sit in silence the entire drive home but inside the suite after leading you to your sofa, Maria fixes you with a stern look.

"So how long? And you better be fucking honest with me now."

"A while," you admit.

You tell her about the butterfly's at trivia. You tell her about the kennels he spent hours making for you. You tell her about the ice cream and the park. The way you’d felt when Joel took your hand in his, driving you home after James. You tell her about his finger tracing your lip. You tell her about the kiss at the party. You tell her about how beautiful he kisses and how he told you how he felt. You tell her everything because she’s Maria and not telling her has been hurting you more than you realized. (You don’t tell her about after the party though because. . . Well, some things are sacred to you alone.)

She holds you and she wipes your tears when you tell her about what you said to Joel at the party.

“I am not team Joel by any means, but why didn’t you just call him?”

“I couldn’t, Maria,” you say with a quivering chin. “I just couldn’t let him know that part of my life. Not yet. And now look how quickly he moved on. I was gone for what, a month?”

“Honey,” she says in a way that feels far too maternal coming from a woman near to your age. She pulls you into her arms again and you cry there, hating everything about that night and how much it has ruined. “Look at it this way, he admits everything to you, you leave and don’t call for six weeks. He thinks ‘oh fuck, she doesn’t want me like I want her. I’m an idiot. Plus I have a kid who’s grown attached. I better get out now.’”

“And get with another woman?”

“Joel is a guy. Guys are simple,” Maria explains flatly. “He has an ego and you crushed it when you left and ignored him. So he found a woman who built it back up. Made him feel good. A woman who he can see without it being weird for Sarah. A woman who, let’s be honest, is hot and cool and doesn’t really demand much of Joel aside from his time and attention.”

Maria is right. You know it. Tess is a better fit for Joel and Sarah.

You think back to your childhood, sometime between the good and bad years. You were no more than seven and you came upon an abandoned kitten half buried under leaves in the park, left by its mother. It was small, a runt, and probably hours away from dying.

You'd rushed home with it in your jacket, your little heart pounding as you brought it to your mother. A wise woman with a sensitive heart to animals. Of course she helped you bathe it, feed it, nurse it back to life. For two weeks you and that kitten were inseparable. You held him tightly to you, warming him. You read him stories and you sang sweet melody's as he slept. And he grew, his mewls turning from sad yips to mighty meow's. He began to follow you around the house, playfully nipping at your heels as you squealed with delight.

You told everyone at school about the kitten who you named Marmalade because of his orange color. And one Wednesday two weeks after you discovered him you arrived home to see his blanket at the end of your bed was gone. The carrier you'd bought was missing from the hall closet and when you ran to your mother terrified she had told you what you would ultimately come to know: You'd thought love was enough and it wasn't. The cat needed more. A family that could take better care of it.

You'd sobbed for hours with your mom rocking you in her arms.

"They have lots of money and room for him," your mom had told you as your face pressed into on her shoulder sniffling. "That kitten is going to have a better life then most people. Letting him go was the kindest thing you could have done, sweetheart."

You think of that kitten now as Maria mentions Tess and you realize that once more your love is not enough. Joel will be better off.

You can't keep him.

He's not yours.

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gorgeousgreymatter-x · 2 years

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Imagine if you will. Post Vecna, Steve and Eddie have been circling each other like vultures all summer, but neither one of them will do anything about it because Steve is convinced the minute he does, he will Fuck It Up the way he always does, and Eddie is just waiting for the day Steve gets another thump on the head and realizes he's been wasting his time with the Town Freak.

Yeah, they flirt. Of course Eddie flirts , but Steve isn't as stupid as people think he is. He knows that Eddie is just Like That, right? Sure, Eddie smiles at him in that way he does, throws his arm around Steve's shoulder, grabs his hand and drags him around like it's completely and totally normal to just hold your bros hand like that because of course it is. Why wouldn't it? Entirely pushing away the fact that it's like he can feel Eddie's fingers, the cool metal of his rings catching against Steve's palm even after he's let go. Like a phantom limb that itches and itches and no matter how hard he tries to ignore it, he knows he'll never actually get any relief.

Robin holds his hand all the time, so Steve tells himself it doesn't actually mean anything.

Because it can't.

Until one night in August when the temperatures are so high and the air is so humid you can practically drink it, and Eddie's invited himself to spend the night because, "What are rich friends for if not to steal their air conditioning. Plus look at me, Stevie! I'm practically melting."

"I was gonna go with poodle that got electrocuted, but yeah...melted works too, Munson."

Steve ignores the fact that Eddie's grin, the way he smiles so big, sometimes it's like those pretty doe eyes of his complete disappear. How something so fucking adorable could also make him feel like there are splinters in his heart, Steve doesn't know.

He's just going to chalk it up to the Munson Effect and just pretend like he doesn't feel a little like dying later when Steve is in the ensuite brushing his teeth, and if he's been hiding in here for the last ten minutes or so probably brushing the fucking enamal off his teeth, that's between him, God, and his dentist, okay?

It's not like Eddie hasn't spent the night before. Most of the time, they pass out stoned on the couch before they ever make it to an actual bed. But tonight, after three joints and a four hour movie marathon, Steve's back could not take another night on the couch bending his spine in the most obscene ways just to avoid accidentally cuddling the shit out of Eddie like his hindbrain seems to always be screaming at him to.

Eddie had simply shrugged, grinned, and followed him upstairs without comment or complaint.

And that's why Steve is having a breakdown in front of his sink right now, because he just doesn't think Sleepy Steve can be trusted not to complete lose his fucking mind.

Not when Eddie is out there in his room, sprawled on his bed because Steve had been left shaking his head and sighing when he'd watched the metalhead take a running leap and belly flop onto Steve's hideous comforter.

("Gingham should be made illegal just for your sake, Stevie. This is just cruel and unusual punishment, man.")

But it's fine. He's fine. He's in on the joke, he gets it.

Until he finally feels steady enough to open the bathroom door to see Eddie exactly in the position Steve'd thought he'd be.

Only suddenly everything is very much Not A Joke, because, yeah, of course he'd told Eddie he could borrow some pajamas, because Eddie never remembers to bring his own.

He's just not sure how his old letterman jacket counts as, you know, that.

Just like he knows that Eddie is going to take one look at his face right now, because basically it feels like someone's reached inside and cut one of his fucking wires or something, and know.

A normal person would probably say something, but Steve has buckets of brain damage he can blame for what he does next, thankfully,because in the span of, like thirty seconds, Steve finds himself practically on top of Eddie, hands on either side of the guy's absolutely ridiculous curls.

Of course, now that some oxygen has apparently made its way around to some of his braincells, Steve realizes how fucked up it is that he's just tackled Eddie liked this and oh my god how the fuck is he going to explain this when the only true explanation he has is just, "I want to fuck you so bad I think I've actually made myself dumber."

"Thank fucking christ, Harrington. I thought about, you know, just the jacket and nothing else but it seemed a little too on-the-nose, so I--"

There is a split second of pure, blind panic because what the fuck what the fuck oh my god he said all of that out loud?

"Wow, I really did make you lose some of those precious braincells of yours. You think if you fuck me tonight, you'll get them back? Like...reverse osmosis or some--"

Steve decides to just go ahead and shove his tongue in Eddie's mouth before either one of them can say anything else to screw it up.

Because god knows he's fucking waited long enough.

They both have, apparently.

#steddie fluff #steddie fic #what is this it just happened #steddie drabbles #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson

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fishsticksloser · 3 months

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hello!! I'm starving for more x male readers 💔💔 I was wondering if I could request leo X male reader? basically the reader is overwhelmed with school. He's usually ambitious with his grades but lately he's been feeling burnout. So leo offers him some cuddles and fluff to relieve the readers stress and i think it would be very cute <33 especially if the reader is touch starved!!

I've Got You

Leo x male!reader

Warnings: stressed reader, comfort, fluff, kisses, post movie

A/N: Could technically be gn!reader. My break starts in 2 days and I'm stressing about completing all the requests I have before then... I'm also gonna lose my mind if someone tells me to rest...

Leo sits in his bed, casually reading a comic when you come in. He looks up, smiling when he sees you come in. His smile falters seeing your tired expression. He sets his comic aside, patting the space next to him. "What's up?" He asks softly as you drop your backpack next to the door.

"College... Work... I've done like nothing else for months." You pout, turning your head to look at him. "I'm so tired..." You walk farther into the room, plopping onto the bed next to him.

Leo glanced over at you, concern etched on his face. He could see the exhaustion in your eyes, and it reminded him of the countless sleepless nights he had from his nightmares following the invasion. He sighed heavily, his voice tinged with a mix of empathy and weariness. "I get it, babe. Life can be a real drain sometimes. But you gotta keep pushing through. You're stronger than you think."

He reached over and ruffled your hair gently, a small gesture of affection. "You've been working hard, and I'm proud of you. But remember to take care of yourself too." Leo leaned back against the headboard and pillows. He turned his head to face you fully, his eyes searching yours. "So, tell me, what's been keeping you up at night? College stress? Work deadlines? Or is it something else?"

"Everything... I've been working so hard and I feel like I have nothing to show for it." You sigh, laying your head on his shoulder. "I wish I had a break."

Leo let out a sympathetic sigh, his arm instinctively wrapping around your shoulders in a comforting gesture. The weight of responsibility can be crushing, and he knew firsthand how it could wear down even the strongest of individuals. "I know, amour," Leo murmured softly, his voice filled with understanding. "Sometimes it feels like you're running on empty, like all your efforts aren't making a damn difference. But trust me, it's not about the immediate results. It's about the journey, the growth along the way."

He gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze, his voice filled with a mixture of reassurance and wisdom. "You're doin' great, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Take a moment to breathe, to rest, and to remind yourself why you're doing all this in the first place. And hey, if you need a break, I'm here for you. We could use some quality time together, huh?" A playful grin tugged at the corner of Leo's lips as he nudged you lightly. "Maybe we could even plan a little getaway, just the two of us. Somewhere quiet, away from the chaos. How does that sound?"

"That would be nice..." You hum softly, taking one of his hands and tracing his fingers and palm. Leo's heart skipped a beat as you traced your fingers along his hand. He couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth and affection stir within him. The gentle touch and the prospect of spending quality time with you ignited a spark of excitement in his eyes. "Won't be able to that until summer break though..."

"Summer, huh?" Leo mused, his voice laced with a hint of mischief. "Well, I suppose it'll give us something to look forward to, won't it? We can plan something special, make sure it's a break worth waiting for." He shifted slightly, turning his body to face you more directly, his eyes locked onto yours. "But in the meantime, we can still find ways to unwind and enjoy each other's company, right here, right now. What do ya say? How 'bout a little relaxation to take the edge off?" Leo's hand gently cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin tenderly. "I can give you a massage, help you ease those tensions away. Or we can just cuddle up and watch a movie together. Whatever you need. I'm here for you."

"Is all of the above an option?" You ask softly, your tone a bit playful, leaning into his touch. You close your eyes, sighing in relief.

A soft chuckle escaped Leo's lips as he gazed at you, his eyes filled with affection. "Sweetheart, you know me, I'm always up for a challenge. All of the above it is."

He shifted on the bed, making room for you to lie down comfortably. With gentle yet firm hands, he began to knead the tension from your shoulders and neck, his touch expertly skilled from years of medical training and self-care. His fingers worked their magic, applying just the right amount of pressure to ease the knots and knots of stress that had built up within you.

As he continued the massage, Leo's voice carried a soothing tone, his words laced with care. "Just relax, amour. Let go of all the worries and responsibilities for now. This time is for you, to recharge and find some peace."

With each stroke and caress, Leo's touch conveyed not only a desire to alleviate your physical tension but also a deep-rooted affection. He wanted to show you that you were valued, cherished, and deserving of this moment of respite.

Once he felt the knots begin to loosen, Leo moved to lie beside you on the bed, pulling you gently into his arms. He wrapped his arms around your waist, his body providing a sense of security and warmth. With the TV playing in the background, he held you close, content in the simple act of being together.

As his lips brushed against your forehead, Leo whispered softly, his voice filled with tenderness. "You're doing amazing. I know it's tough, but you're stronger than you realize. And I'm right here with you, every step of the way."

"I know... I need to learn to lean on others a bit more... But... I'm glad your here. I dunno what I would do without you." You mumble, your fingers tracing over his facial features, especially the red bananas around his eyes.

Leo's eyes softened as he listened to your words, his heart swelling with a mix of gratitude and affection. He understood the struggle of wanting to be self-reliant, to carry the weight of the world on your own shoulders. But he also knew the importance of leaning on others, of allowing them to support you in times of need.

"I'm glad I'm here too, baby," Leo whispered, his voice filled with sincerity. "You don't have to do it all alone. We're a team, and that means we're there for each other, no matter what. So lean on me, I've got your back." His hand caressed your cheek, his thumb gently tracing the outline of your lips. His gaze met yours, filled with an unspoken promise. "I'll be by your side, through the highs and lows, the ups and downs. You can always count on me."

Leo's lips met yours in a tender kiss, a mixture of love and reassurance. In that moment, he hoped to convey just how much you meant to him, how deeply he cared for you. Breaking the kiss, Leo leaned his forehead against yours, his voice barely above a whisper. "You're important to me, sweetheart. Never forget that."

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aquaburst3 · 6 months

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Okay, since I haven't seen many posts up yet about this, not that I blame anyone since others are probably at school and work rn, I want make a post summarizing what happened so far in the latest event on the JP server.

Disclaimers:

All of this info came from LuluBelle over on my Discord server, so all the credit for gathering this up goes to them.

Also, I don't know how to speak or read Japanese nor do I have the JP version of the app, making me unable to verify this. Take this all with a huge mountain of salt.

Like I said in my other post, I'm calling him Honest Fellow, since that sounds less awkward and I think it'll be localized to that anyway.

JP Event Spoilers Below

The arc starts with Honest Fellow and Giddel selling the themepark to some faceless NPCs. After some convincing, they enter the park. Honest Fellow evil laughs.

We cut to a basketball game between RSA and NRC. NRC lose yet again. NRC fight amongst themselves, and the teachers break it up.

After the game, Floyd, Ace, Yuu and Grim, wallowing in their frustration at NRC's loss to RSA, decided to go Craneport to get some snacks. There they find Jade and Jack on the way.Jack was there to get some new threads while Jade was there by sheer coincidence.

Kalim and Ortho arrive. They were in a bookstore, because Kalim was searching for books concerning magic potions, since he's struggling with those and Sam's shop was closed. (I have no idea why Jamil wasn't there either, because him leaving Kalim unattended seems kinda ooc.)

Honest Fellow along with his brother swoop in, making their sales pitch. Grim wonders about what Playful Land is exactly. Ace explains that it's a mysterious amusement park that nobody knows where it is. Honest Fellow says that's correct.

Honest Fellow gives the group tickets to the park. When Kalim says they'll go the next weekend, Honest Fellow chimes in, saying, "Oh, no, no! You can only use it until tomorrow!" They both fuck off into the night.

When the group gets back, they tell Riddle and Jamil about the tickets. They're both like, "Hell no!" Riddle shoots it down because skipping classes is unforgivable. (Ace was originally gonna invite Deuce, but he tattled on him to Riddle, since he found the whole thing suspicious. Honestly, good on him.) Jamil finds it suspicious and puts his foot down, telling Kalim that he forbids him from ever going.

Jack tells Leona, who is all like, "Nah, this is kinda fishy." Jack decides that he has to go because he promised Honest Fellow he would, and he doesn't want to break it.

Floyd tells Azul. He says, "Nope, I'm not coming. It's sus, and I don't wanna owe anybody anything!" They tweels laugh, saying that they want to check it out BECAUSE it's shady.

Ortho tells his brother. He shoots it down, since he doesn't like crowds. Ortho then confides in Vil thanks to them being in the same club.

Early the morning, before the sun rises, the group gathers to sneak to the harbour in town. Kalim managed to get the rest of the Light Music Club to come along, because they saw just how sad Kalim seemed and decided to tag along to comfort him. Vil was convinced to come along by Ortho. One, he wants to see what's the big deal about this park. Two, he's also suspicious, and, as a dorm leader, he wants to oversee all of his juniors and make sure they're all okay. Trey followed after Ace because Deuce asked him for his help and had the feeling that Ace would be stubborn enough to rebel and sneak out even though Riddle said no. Leona followed after Jack because he felt like he had to be the responsible one for once and was genuinely concerned about Jack's well being.

Honest Fellow arrives. He is just so dramatic. Half of them go, "Fucking really? Why did any of our juniors trust this guy? He's as sus as a FNAF animatronic!" (Not in those words, obliviously, but along that same idea.)

Honest Fellow shows them around the park. Which looks like this...

The park is more like those travelling summer fairs where it goes from town to town instead of staying in one place like Universal Studios, Knotts Berry Farm or any of the Disney Parks. The boys can kick back and indulge in their darkest desires.

The third years still feel that this whole thing is kinda sus. Since Grim and some of the others head straight to the entry gate, they reluctantly go along with it to watch over their juniors. Grim face plants into the gate, because he didn't show a ticket. Ace shows his ticket. Ace, Grim and Yuu's clothes get magically altered to resemble the ones on the card. The same thing happened to everyone else.

After everyone's gotten inside the amusement park, we have a foreboding speech from Honest Fellow and Giddel about how the young generation are easily skeptical, but can still be fooled by the promises of a fun play park. Honest Fellow mentions how he and Giddel should accommodate their visitors… for it will be the "last'' fun memory that they'd have. Cue End of Part 1.

Some other minor side things...

It's confirmed. Honest Fellow and Giddel are brothers.

Honest Fellow is a mage, but is less magically inclined compared to the NRC boys. Giddel is a non-mage.

Lulu, aka the same person from my Discord server, suspects the themepark itself might be a magic tool of some kind. Considering how it operated in the movie and novel along with fan theories about them, I'm inclined to believe them.

We also finally got a description of what Yuu is actually wearing during this event. (Honestly, it's about fucking time. Because one gripe I always had with these events is that we never get even a small description of what Yuu is wearing, which makes it harder to imagine what's going on in my head.) Basically, they are wearing the same style jacket as Leona, but with the same colours as Lilia's costume. Do with that information as you will Malleus/Yuu shippers.

Honest Fellow has a Honest John pendant on his hat.

More of a personal gripe, but I'm not sure what to make of Honest Fellow as a character yet. Right now, he seems like the mastermind behind this whole operation, but that doesn't make sense. In the movie, Honest John wasn't on board with the Pleasure Island shit, and only went along with it thanks to the Coachman threatening him and Gideon's lives. Wouldn't it be far more fitting for him to be a lacky of another villain and being forced to go along with it out of fear of having the same thing happen to him and his brother? And if that was the case, that would also better align him thematically with Ortho, who's brother is the same way towards him. But I'm reserving my judgements on his character until the event is over.

Playful Land gives me major Joy Joy Land vibes.

I find the idea of Leona, Trey and Vil going there, because they are worried about their juniors adorable. They are really tapping into their big brother instincts, even if I doubt Vil and Leona would ever admit it out loud.

Though, one plot hole with this whole thing is why didn't Jamil, Trey and Deuce rip up the tickets if they were that concerned about the others going to the park? Granted, the tickets could be enchanted so that they're impossible to destroy, but I never heard if that's the case yet. Idk, it's a nitpick, but it's still something that annoys me a bit as a writer myself.

#twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #aqua rambles #fellow honest

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 2 months

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Ok so I had this thing bubbling in my head today. FIRST A DISCLAIMER: I 100% acknowledge that Taylor’s music is written from her perspective, from her gaze, about her own experiences and feelings. Just getting that out of the way.

But after thinking about the New Year’s Day/Peace medley from last night, it kind of hit me that there are several references in her discography to her making a commitment (to Joe), but there aren’t any of him reciprocating, or a mutual future being built.

(Again: I know that this is Taylor’s music, not Joe’s, so obviously she’s going to speak about her side of things.)

Even as early as reputation, we start getting references that this is the Big One for her, e.g. New Year’s Day’s “I want your midnights,” “you and me forevermore.” We continue to see more of these sprinkled throughout her subsequent discography, e.g. on Lover with Lover (“can we be this close forever and ever?” “I’ve loved you three summers now honey but I want them all,” the entire bridge being like wedding vows), Paper Rings (“I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings”), All of the Girls (“I want to teach you how forever feels”), folklore’s invisible string (“one single thread of gold tied me to you”) and peace (“give you my wild give you my child” along with, like, the entire rest of the song), evermore’s Cowboy Like Me (“that was before I locked it down,” “forever is the sweetest con,” “I’m never gonna love again”).

Midnights obviously has its share of references too, though interestingly maybe less overt than the other albums? Sweet Nothing implies a shared home she’s running home to, as does Hits Different (…). The Great War is probably the most obvious with, “I vowed I would always be yours ‘cause we survived the Great War.” There’s also “I wanna brainwash you into loving me forever,” in Paris and “I’m fastening myself to you with a stitch,” in Glitch.

The most obvious reference to her commitment that we hear is on You’re Losing Me, with “I wouldn’t marry me either” implying that it was something that was discussed and a point of contention given the way she spits it out in the bridge and there are also the references to their shared home (“remember looking at this room, we loved it cause of the light,” “every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes,” “do I throw out everything we built or keep it?” Etc.).

Yet throughout these songs, where she’s saying she wants to be with this person forever, she wants to show him how forever feels, she wants to marry him, etc., in retrospect they’re kind of one-sided. AGAIN I UNDERSTAND THAT THAT’S BECAUSE THESE ARE TAYLOR’S SONGS. But it’s interesting that when she does sprinkle in references to his side of things, they’re directed at her (e.g. “You said I had to trust more freely,” “You say ‘I don’t understand’ and I say ‘I know you don’t,’” “You say ‘what a mind’,” and so on). It’s like she captures his reaction to her actions, but not that he’s in this with her.

I repeat: I know that this is because this is Taylor’s music, not Joe’s, and she’s writing about her experience of these situations. But in retrospect, and with everything we’re finding out now, it’s just really interesting that the way she wrote about commitment/marriage/family in her music about this period in her life was about what she wanted, what she brought to the table, what she hoped for the future, etc. But she didn’t write about how her partner made her feel about those same commitments. She vowed to always be his, but we don’t know if he vowed to be hers after the war. She fastened herself to him, but did he rip the seam? She wanted to marry him with paper rings, but YLM indicates the feeling may not have been reciprocated after all at the end of the day. Etc. In her music at least, looking back it’s like there isn’t as much reassurance on the other person’s end that this is what they wanted after all, especially by Midnights.

I know this is a jumble of thoughts and by no means a literary analysis of her discography, but it’s just kind of hit me out of the blue today in ways that I think were completely unintentional, but with the imminent release of TTPD, the secret songs on tour and the general ~vibes~ of what we’re all picking up these days, I think we’re in for some more emotional damage by this next album.

#Writing letters addressed to the fire #me thinking too hard about Taylor lyrics #Taylor swift #i guess i should also tag this with #the tortured poets department #Because i have a feeling the theme may recur lol

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loonarmuunar · 8 months

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Epithet side effect headcanons that somehow turned into disability stuff while I was writing 👍👍 (these are kinda angsty I did not intend for that to happen but uh here we are—)

Molly — sometimes if she overuses her epithet, it can almost “nullify” her mind in a sense, giving her short-term memory problems on occasion. Usually it’s mild and doesn’t have much effect, just normal everyday forgetfulness, but when it’s bad, her head gets really fuzzy and she can’t focus or remember anything, she gets awful migraines and headaches, and she has a sort of feverish mind (y’know like when you’re so sick ur head feels Weird and u can’t Brain right). It’ll go away pretty quickly as long as she rests, but uh. We know she ain’t getting much of that.

It’s really Stressful and frustrating for her, because she KNOWS she forgot something but she can’t remember WHAT in the slightest.

This doesn’t happen very often thankfully since she doesn’t strain her epithet much, it’s like a once-every-few-months kinda thing.

Giovanni — got this one from a fic, Giovanni has a lot of sodium in his blood (cause soup, salty) which gives him wonky blood pressure, and it causes chronic nosebleeds. I like this one a lot cause I used to get nosebleeds on like a weekly, and in the summer, daily basis as a kid.

He got his first nosebleed in late spring when he was about 5 or so, just running around outside. He didn’t notice (and trust me when I say it can be HARD to notice) for a LOOONGGGG time. He ended up losing a LOT of blood. When you get a nosebleed it can sometimes run down into your throat and you’ll start spitting up blood it’s Uncomfortable and Gross. Anyways he went back home, went “hi moms :3 *soaked in blood, choking up blood*” andddd they Freaked Out.

He’s anemic because of it, and has to take iron meds. If he forgets to take them he gets really dizzy, and if it’s particularly bad, he can faint.

Sylvie — Narcolepsy. And insomnia. You can have both (and from what I know, they often go hand-in-hand), and he is Not having a good time.

He’s exhausted during the day, he tries to take stimulants to stay up but they don’t always work. When it’s night, he can’t go to sleep for the life of him, and if he does, he wakes up very often. It’s Not Fun. Sometimes he just gives up, and sleeps all day, then works all night.

Mera — We know the side effects, but I’m gonna mess with it a bit (aka I’m projecting). The muscles around her joints are really weak and frail, meaning it’s looser, so she has Hypermobility. Possibly also Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. She’s got a lot of joint pain on top of her regular pain.

She’s got it b a d, if lifts her arm up too high it’ll jerk and she’ll be like “oh yup. Dislocated again.”

She’s absolutely COVERED in bruises and scars, whenever she has to get stitches it constantly tears. She heals horribly. She’s starting to develop arthritis as well.

Medication usually doesn’t do anything for hypermobility related pain, if you’re lucky it’ll take the edge off. Indus helps her out with heatpads and stuff, but other than that, she just has to tough it out.

Indus — nothing. Have u seen this man?? He probably drinks disgusting high vitamin smoothies every morning, he eats full proper meals, dude is in PEAK CONDITION. If he did have any side effects it would be completely negated by his sheer healthiness. Diseases and conditions fear him.

He is however that One Person who is prepared for Everything and will help u if u need it. He carries medication and heatpads for Mera in case she forgets them, as well as bandaids and antiseptic wipes. He’s just a Good fella… <33

#‘that’s unrealistic there’s no way so many of the characters would be disabled’ I don’t careeeeeeee #idc if it’s UNREALISTIC #it’s unrealistic for people to be able to turn into gold and materialize soup out of nothing but your not complaining about that are you #I’ve seen too many people starting shit about disability headcanons #I’m physically disabled don’t start shit about this.#epithet erased #molly blyndeff #giovanni potage #sylvester ashling #sylvie ashling #mera salamin #indus tarbella #headcanons #epithet erased headcanons #disability #i’ll do redwood run characters later

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holyhead-hufflepuff · 1 year

Text

are you ready?

SIRIUS BLACK X FEM!READER

“Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.” ― Hunter S. Thompson

warning: NSFW. Minors do not engage. This is a story about two consenting adults with a pre-established relationship built on trust. Please remember to wrap it before you tap it.

notes: lol so i just finished exam which is why this is late. this is part of a 800 follower celebration. so don't forget to engage with the smut post that you like best!!

The room is dark. It is some sort of dungeon, lit solely by a line of torches on my right-hand side. I can’t even see the far wall.

My body shivered, and at that moment I realized I was naked. It’s cold, but not uncomfortably so. The torches radiate, casting faint waves of heat and light onto my exposed skin.

“Hello?”

I called out but received no response. I started to worry. There was nothing around. What was happening? But that was when I saw him. He walked toward me, slowly, faintly illuminated in the dark. The slow taps of his footsteps were the only thing I could hear. He got closer, and closer, and closer, until we were almost touching.

He put his hand on my side, sending a shiver racing up my spine. He moved his head close, as if to kiss me, but then paused right before finishing the job. He looked at me with that awful, sarcastic smile. The one that has bothered me all year. And then, he asked me a question. Gently, but playfully, Sirius asked:

“Are you ready?”

…

“Y/N?”

“Y/N!!!”

The voice of my best friend Rachel jolts me awake.

“Huh?” I sigh groggily as I return to the land of the living. “What’s up?”

“Class is over sleepyhead! I know how much you hate History of Magic, but you’ll never pass your exams like that!”

“You’re right, you’re right. Wow, I can’t believe I fell asleep again!” And she is right. My work has been going steadily downhill these last few months. I can’t sleep at night, and I keep forgetting to eat. And those dreams certainly don’t help. Those dreams… they mean nothing, of course. Sirius is a prick. So arrogant, so vain, so… confusing…

“Hello? Did I lose you again?”

“Sorry, sorry.” You focus on Rachel. “You know I haven’t been sleeping well. I guess I’m just a little out of it today.”

“I can’t believe you, girl. You gotta get your head in the game! Now listen, are you coming down to my place this summer? We have Quidditch tickets, it’s gonna be so much fun!”

“Oh yeah, sure! I don’t think my parents will mind.”

We continued our conversation as we moved to our last class of the day: flying. The one I’ve dreaded going to for weeks.

We arrived at a commotion. “There he goes again,” Rachel sighed.

Of course, it’s James. He’s a natural on the broom and takes every opportunity to show it. Right now he’s doing some stupid stunt to get someone’s attention, probably Lily’s. I don’t have any problems with him, but what I do have a problem with is who he hangs out with.

At that instant, my gaze finds him. Off to the sides, cheering James on with all he’s got. Sirius Black. He’s jumping up and down, yelling, clearly very happy with whatever James is up to. He tries to get up on his broom too, but Remus grabs him and holds him down. As they are fighting for the broom, he turns this way. Our eyes meet, and he smiles.

I quickly turn my head back to face Rachel, a blush spreading across my cheeks. That smile. I can’t stand that smile. I hope he doesn’t think I was watching him. I only saw him at all because of what James was doing. Really, he’s the farthest thing from my mi…

“Hey girls.” My thoughts are interrupted by a voice right in front of me. I look up, and I see Sirius, with Remus tagging close behind. “Enjoying the show?” He laughs with that trademark grin.

“As if,” I retort. “You guys are such idiots. James is gonna get himself killed someday, and it’s gonna be your fault.”

“Come on, Y/N! You gotta learn to have some fun.” Sirius smirks and you feel the confusing mix of emotions bubble up once again.

“I love fun! I just have responsibilities and things I care about that have to take priority! Come on Remus, back me up!”

Remus shrugs sheepishly. “Hey, don’t look at me. I’m outnumbered.”

Sirius chuckles. “Guess the fun continues.”

“ARRGH!” I exclaim in frustration. “You are so infuriating sometimes.”

“Maybe,” Sirius replies. “Or maybe, I just need to show you how to loosen up.”

Before his words can get my mind racing, I hear a whistle. The professor has arrived, and she looks frustrated.

Sirius sighs. “Looks like the fun is over for now. Guess we should get to work and all that.” He turns back to me, and with a hint of mischief in his eyes, he asks me a question.

“Are you ready?”

At that moment, I lost all of my composure. I turn around and dash away before anyone can say anything. As I run, I can hear Rachel yelling after me. I don’t care. I need to get out of there. I’ve heard those words before, so many times.

Every.

Single.

Night.

I run, and run, and don’t stop. I have no idea where I’m going, and it doesn’t even matter. I just need to get away.

Eventually, I find an empty staircase. I collapse at its base, exhausted. My mind is spiraling, my thoughts are playing tug-of-war. I can barely think. At that moment, I feel a hand on my shoulder.

“Hey, are you okay?”

It’s Sirius. But something’s different. The usual sarcasm is gone, replaced with something I don’t recognize. It’s almost as if he’s genuinely concerned. Usually, this question would annoy me, but for some reason, his presence helps me relax.

“I’m fine, just needed some air.”

And as quick as it had gone his smirk returned. “Good, good. Just making sure all that fun earlier wasn’t too much for you.”

“You are so annoying,” I snap back with a slight grin. “I don’t know what you think of me, but I’m stronger than you’d expect.”

He sits down next to me. “I don’t know, I still think you could do to loosen up.”

I groan. “Oh, and I suppose you and your friends can help with that?”

“I don’t know about those guys, but I have a few ideas.” He pauses, as if thinking of something. Then he grins. “You know what? You’re already skipping class. Come with me.”

Without giving me any time to wait, he starts walking. My legs move on their own. It’s not like I want to follow him, but I can’t deny I’m curious as to what he’s up to. We pass through corridor after corridor, hallway after hallway, walking through Hogwarts’ endless sea of passages. Eventually, we reach a statue of an old hag with one eye.

“Dissendium,” Sirius whispers, and the statue moves aside. “What in the world?” I mutter as we walk into the newly-opened room.

“You like this?” Sirius chuckles. “This path leads all the way to Hogsmeade. Only a few students know about it, plus probably some of the teachers.”

“It’s incredible!” It truly was. After so many years here, I thought I had seen all that Hogwarts had to offer. It was enough to distract me from who I was here with.

“Well, then it can be our little secret.” Sirius pauses as we round the corner into a wider room. “Hey, Y/N…?”

I’m so engrossed in my surroundings that I didn’t notice Sirius had stopped walking. We were now mere inches apart.

“Uh, what’s up?”

The smile appears once again. “You were watching me in class today, weren’t you? In fact, I feel like I see you watching me a lot.”

The blood rushes to my cheeks. It is at this moment I realize how close we are, and that our surroundings are eerily similar to the ones from my dreams. I stutter out a response.

“W-well I don’t remember that! If anything you were just distracting me, you’re always so loud and annoying! It’s always so hard to concentrate-”

He puts a finger to my lips, quieting me. His smile grows wider. “I thought so. What were we talking about earlier? Loosening up? I say we get back to that idea.”

I’m shaking, I can feel goosebumps across my arms and legs. “W-what do you mean?” I barely have the time to get the words out before he whips out his wand.

“Evanesco! Incarcerous!”

With the first cast, my clothes disappear. Before I even have time to react, I fly against the wall, bound by ropes. I am suspended in the air, arms and legs apart, completely exposed to the elements. I can barely make a sound as I wait with bated breath for him to approach.

He tilts his head to the left and looks me in the eyes. “Cat got your tongue?”

I still can’t speak. He gets closer and closer. My mind is so confused, torn by the conflicting feelings brought about by the man in front of me. As he reaches me, he says three simple words. Three words that I have been unknowingly waiting so long to hear.

“Are you ready?”

Those words focus my thoughts. They calm the storm inside me enough to utter a response:

“Yes.”

With that, he smiles even wider. He leans in and kisses me. It starts slowly but quickly becomes passionate. His tongue explores my mouth as I give in to the sensations. I have very little experience, but he doesn’t seem to mind. My lips are on fire, and my entire body starts tingling. I’ve never felt like this before. All previous worries start fading away into our embrace.

He continues with vigor until after some time he breaks away. He gives me no time to rest, as his lips start attacking the rest of my body. He starts with my cheeks, then moves down to my neck. I let out a moan as he sucks on my eager skin. I try to hold it in, but the sound of my pleasure gives him even more determination. He moves down to my breasts, kissing and sucking on one while his right hand plays with the other. He kneads my soft flesh while continuing to explore with his lips. His fingers dance around, causing shivers to run across my entire body. He lightly pinches my nipple, sending surges of ecstasy across me.

“I’ve never felt like this before,” I say softly while he continues his pursuits.

He leans back, looking me in the eyes. That smile, so different from how it was before. “Are you ready?” he asks. This time, I am ready. I want him. I need him.

“Yes.”

Without a second’s pause, he dives down to my lower lips. I was already so wet from his teasing, I couldn’t bear to remain silent any longer.

“Oh Merlin, yes!” I let out a cry as he continues to devour me. He moves back and forth, making sure to pay attention to every last part of me. His tongue darts around, focusing especially on my clit. It’s a sensation I’ve never experienced before, and I never want it to end. I can feel an orgasm building as he licks and sucks my dripping pussy. Finally, as his tongue lashes deep inside of me, I cross the edge. The climax is so intense, if I wasn’t tied up I would have collapsed to the ground. Shockwaves emanate throughout my entire body, waves of pleasure that just don’t stop.

As I begin to come down off the high, Sirius laughs. “I hope you’re ready, because we’re not done yet.”

Before I have the chance to say anything, he traps me in a kiss and starts rubbing my clit with his fingers. After a few seconds, he plunges a finger deep inside of me. I gasp into his mouth, but he gives me no time to react. He inserts a second finger and starts moving.

The thrusts of his fingers rock my aching hole, sending more and more energy coursing through me. He then inserts a third finger, and with his other hand begins squeezing my breasts once again. My lips, my breasts, my pussy. Everything is on fire as the motions get more and more intense.

He starts pounding me with one hand while grasping deep clumps of flesh with the other. I can’t take it anymore. With one last thrust of his fingers, I climax once again. I go limp in his arms as he separates himself from me.

“I’ll give you a moment,” he jokes, as he casts off his own clothing. It’s almost elegant, as if he’d done it a thousand times before. I can’t admire his spellwork, however, because my attention is drawn elsewhere.

I can see his cock, illuminated under the torchlight. It’s large, so much bigger than I expected. It’s hard, throbbing, and violent. It scares me, and yet fills me with lust. I want it. I NEED it.

He walks up to me, lean yet muscular, his body in full display. He grabs my sides, once again triggering my deepest desires. He then says the words again:

“Are you ready?”

This time, I say it with confidence and desire.

“Yes.”

He grins. “There you go, finally loosening up. You’re such a good girl.”

I love the idea of being his good girl. I want him so bad, I can barely take it.

“Please,” I panted. “Fuck me.”

With that, he forces himself deep into my folds, his thick member poking against my deepest parts. He pauses for a second, to make sure I’m comfortable, before he starts his barrage at my insides. He goes in and out as I moan and beg for more. His pulsating shaft makes quick, fast thrusts, each one seemingly reaching deeper and deeper.

“You feel so good,” he says, and as he does I tighten around him. His words make me so horny. I just want more of him.

He continues his assault with his huge rod as I give myself up to the pleasure. I become a mess of feelings and emotions, no longer myself but a slave to the bliss.

“Oh, yes!” I exclaim. “Please, I need more. Deeper, faster! It feels so good!”

He does nothing but grunt as he obliges my request, increasing his already fast thrusting to an impossibly quick tempo. Each lunge fills me with heat, building upon the pleasure that just keeps growing. My mind is empty, all I can think about is his cock. As he keeps going, I get closer and closer to another orgasm. I can’t take it anymore.

With one last thrust, I have my most powerful climax yet. As I contract around his shaft, he finishes too, pumping large amounts of his seed inside of me. As he steps back, I lay limp, still tied up on the wall. Only now with my sweat mixed with his and his cum dripping down my legs.

With a quick spell, he cleans us both up, even getting all of his semen that had gotten in me. Once again, his spellwork impresses me even in my post-coital stupor.

“Oh, I should probably let you down,” he says with a smirk. As he removes the ropes and returns my clothes, I sink to the floor with a sigh, legs quivering, realizing I won’t be able to stand for a week.

As I pant on the ground, sweaty and tired, Sirius walks over and gives me a surprisingly gentle kiss on the forehead.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N,” he says as the smirk returns one last time. “Hope that helped you loosen up a bit. We should do it again sometime.”

With that, he apparates away. As I catch my breath, I realize I have no idea how to get back to my bed.

“What an asshole,” I chuckle as I start my trip back. After about an hour of mindless wandering, I’m able to find the common room. As I get back into bed, I know I’m going to sleep well that night. Maybe Sirius was right, and I did need to loosen up. And maybe, I’ll have to talk to him tomorrow. I mean, he might have some more to teach me. I’m always happy to learn new things. It can’t hurt to ask. Yeah. Good plan. Tomorrow…

Fin.

#harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagines #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black smut #james potter #remus lupin #petter pettigrew #marauders era #marauders

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autisticlancemcclain · 10 months

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fic rec friday 28

welcome to the twenty-eighth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. sunflower [re] by xintong

On the morning of their first summer back on Earth, Lance receives a gift of sunflowers. A confession, a rejection, and the passage of time, all leading to the one person who's always been there for him.

this is one of those fics that just kind of remakes a part of you a little. im gonna go with the bookmark i did when i first read it:

screaming and losing my mind bc there were so many fucking moments man. so many. i get jealous too. all the time. anyone that looks at you. still the other half of his wings. i would wait all my lifetimes for you even if you never looked my way. you’re everything. the beginning and end of time. you have wings love. just like an angel. i want to make this good for you. for us. i want it to be good for you too. why. because i dream of you. every night. you’re the devil. who you adore. yes. yes. will you go somewhere with me. anywhere. i never wrote before i met you. you gave me something to write about. they don’t need to say it. i love you i love you i love you. it’s in everything they do.

anyways read this fic.

2. where you go by @taylortot

post s8. keith visits lance when he can, but his work with the blade keeps him out in space for months at a time, and he is tired of leaving lance behind.

okay i know this is yet another rec from me thats rambly and pretentious but soft fics Make me feel that way so here u go. everything about this is the most important thing in the world. as per usual with taylortot. my breath is unsteady and my hands are shaky because they just fucking love each other!!! so much!!!! it’s about the DEVOTION. i’m tired of leaving you. i don’t want to do it anymore. it’s about wanting to be with you. that’s it? that’s it. of course i’ll go with you. i thought you’d never ask. i should have asked before. that was never a choice. (YOU were never a choice). i knew you would come back to me. it’s about the DEVOTION is about the LOVE it’s about the i know you i love you i trust you there’s no one i want but you and you are everything to me. it’s about everything i do for my future i do for our future. it’s about i love you even though words are hard to come by and nothing i could say could ever properly tell you how much you mean to me. GOD

3. a reverence reserved for lovers by @softsatoru [EXPLICIT]

“Hello, my love.” They were far past the point of timidity, and Keith had long since gotten used to the pet names and sappy moments. Hell, Keith had been all about pet names and sappy moments as they were reciting their vows. It was so easy now, just like everything was with them. It had been for years and years, but especially now. This moment, this night, was so easy. It was so right.

Lance grinned and dropped his head back against the pillows with a deep, content sigh. He kept one hand threaded through Keith’s hair and slapped the other over his eyes. The gold band around his ring finger glinted in the low, warm light of their bedroom.

“Ew,” Lance mumbled, trying to contain his smile. “We’re married.” Keith chuckled and pulled himself off his husband. Lance’s hand fell from his hair and dropped down to his bare back. Long, slender fingers pressed into his skin, as if to hold him in place. Keith settled himself above Lance and placed soft kisses on his knuckles and the back of his hand. He gripped Lance’s wrist and tugged it away from his face. Lance’s eyes were clenched shut, and he scrunched up his nose in playful defiance. Keith’s lips fell atop each eyelid, the tip of his nose, and both cheeks.

“Yeah,” Keith agreed. He nosed at Lance’s jaw, dipping down to kiss down his neck. “So gross.” He smirked to himself before licking a wide stripe up the side of Lance’s face.

“Hey!” Lance yelped at him, playfully slapping his back, but he couldn’t help but laugh. “Gross! You’re proving my point.”

i fucking love this fic it 100% lives up to its name. it IS a reverence reserved to lovers and they are. they are so sweet and in love and devoted, man, its just everything. you just want to read it and weep

4. the dark, wide open by @taylortot

Lance flushes clear up to his hairline, the heat of it frying his brain. “Are there any other incorrect observations you wanna make? Or can we go to bed?”

Keith misses nothing, tracking the warmth blooming all over Lance’s face with keen eyes. “None that you’d admit to,” he says in a murmur.

Lance and Keith share a bed.

i think ive mentioned the devotion scrapbook before, but i dont know if ive mentioned that like a quarter of all the screenshots i have are taylortot. they kill it with the dialogue every single time, the devotion bleeds through, the words unsaid speak louder than the words. kills me.

5. this is your holy by littleghost

"He read a book of poems back in high school, and one line always hit him like a sucker punch to the throat. For you, love is like a religion. It’s terrifying. Keith looks at Lance in the pilot’s seat, Lance in the dining room, Lance on the bridge and thinks his love is too big for his body." // Keith falls in love with a boy.

okay i know i recced this before in a random post but i am doing it again. religious imagery always gets to me, and the idea of finding divinity in the mundane and not even finding it but realising that it IS the divine, the bum’s as holy as the seraphim the madman is holy as you my soul are holy! that’s from ginsberg’s footnote to howl btw, which is my favourite poem in the world and exactly what i hear chanted in my as i read it

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

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sapphyreopal5 · 27 days

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Y'know, I am very interested about Psychic guy (vigdissigritr) who wrote this comment, before wicked witch (Danneel) deleted it. And you say on your post you did speak with psychic guy. I want do know did he say more information anything about Danneel?

Me? I do still believe Danneel will get her karma for all the bad deeds she did during years of messing around with Jesnen's free will and ruining innocent people's lives by her spell works. Trust me, I think Danneel messed up with the wrong person who is protected by god and their ancestors.

I still believe Jensen is good man. I wish everyone would give him chance. I think Danneel is problem.

Hello Anon, thank you for the ask. I had a feeling an ask of this nature was coming my way soon and you delivered! :D So, I understand you are concerned about Jensen's well-being and have been made aware of her having done witchcraft from the getgo. Frankly, I believe that any spell used to attract a specific person is in fact black magic because if it's meant to be it'll be. The song "Meant to Be" by Bebe Rexha would be a great thing for Danneel and Gen both to listen and take to heart, as well as anyone else considering doing any love spells.

🎶So, won't you ride with me, ride with me? See where this thing goes If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be Baby, if it's meant to be🎶

and also

🎵I ain't gonna lie, ain't gonna lie 'Cause I'm tired of the fake love, show me what you're made of Boy, make me believe🎵

youtube

If it's NOT meant to be... Let. It. Go. Seriously, if you're that desperate enough to do black magic on someone else just to keep or attract them (or should I say lure them in), YOU are the problem not life itself. This life just ain't that serious you guys, let it go for real ha ha. I believe on a personal note, my ex himself used black magic on me, as I overheard him say one night when I was supposed to be asleep "I never pray I know but please, bring Ellie back for good and let me keep her". This is when I was technically moved out in Summer 2018 but only went back because I couldn't get off the lease. From what my guides have told me, black magic lasts at max about 30 years but I feel like somewhere close to 15 years or so is about average. With my ex, it didn't even last a year LOL! I explained here what black magic really is as far as divine blueprints goes and how it relates to the divine plans, along with explaining what divine blueprints and divine plans are. I decided to copy and paste magic in terms of white, gray, and black with respect to divine blueprints from that post of mine below for your reference.

* White magic is the manifestation of so called original divine blueprints, or what was always meant to happen. * Gray magic is the manifestation of so called fixes to one's divine blueprints and plans after someone has tried using black magic after their astral body tried "tampering" with someone's divine blueprints and plans through the computer located in Cloud Nine. Of course, these fixes sometimes come at the cost of someone else. An example of this is if a woman loses a job but shouldn't have. The fix could be where she gets another job; naturally since there's only 1 job, someone else who should've gotten that job does not get it and another version of that person's divine blueprints ends up manifesting or their divine blueprints have to get "fixed" too, and so on and so forth. * Black magic is the manifestation of so called tampers meant to benefit the person using it at the expense of others. For example, someone may use black magic to get revenge on someone else, get wealthy, etc. This is where someone's astral body (the astral body of the physical person who is trying to make a good landmark event or several occur to them at the expense of someone else) "tampers" with someone else's divine blueprints by adding in an unpleasant landmark event or several. In some horrifying cases, this can be say the death of a spouse via workplace accident in order to get settlement money from their dead spouse's former employer. The maximum amount of time someone can benefit from using black magic is about 30 years. All black magic does is ultimately delay the unpleasant landmark events in their own divine plans and making the pleasant landmark events occur sooner. What goes up must come down. People using black magic may have many good things happen to them at once, but they will also experience many bad things eventually.

However, I am going to say this about free will before I carry on talking about what else this psychic said about Danneel. People on Earth assume free will pertains to us being able to make choices, to move how we want, act how we want, etc. without being controlled. Here is the thing, in other places where there is no free will they can still make choices, move how they want, act how they want, eat what they want, all of that. So, what the heck is free will? Free will is more or less being able to make choices that harm or even kill others for selfish gain. Free will is essentially the capability of messing with someone else's divine blueprints in order to benefit themselves. Free will is the capability of doing things like murder for reasons like greed, revenge, etc. Free will is the capability of "stealing from others" as this psychic puts it (in short, like I said making bad things happen to them so good things happen to you).

Here, I am establishing that this guy does not know Jensen or Jared, doesn't follow them, etc.

Here, he mentions some health issues of Jensen's going back to Danneel. He sometimes says Daniel or Danielle I believe because this is what the translator he uses does but I know he meant Danneel so please read these as such.

Now, he also mentioned that he doesn't believe Danneel wrote the birthday post but it was Jensen because "it's necessary".

He also brought up some marriage issues going on as well.

This is where he talked more about Danneel and Witchcraft.

These go a little out of order because I'm trying to put similar messages together and also excluded a lot of them out of course as I wanted to highlight the things he said. I did tell him some things of course about things I've written about on here and such. I withheld a lot of info from him to see what all he picks up and see he does pick up a lot as a seer and as someone who doesn't know much about Jensen at all. Below, he talks about world karma and then I wanted to put in this screenshot set below that he mentioned May or June is when he believes things are gonna start panning out and also the said "aftermath" after she is exorcised from his life.

As for what else was said about Danneel's eventual fate... and yes Gen Padalecki is who he was talking about with regards to who she met with "yesterday" (this past Saturday, 3/30/2024)...

Hmmm. Even though I believe some of the messages he is receiving require "interpretation work" with what is really meant as far as who is speaking to him goes, I do think he has a lot of things correct about what her fate will be and how things will eventually pan out okay for Jensen. You mess with someone else's divine blueprints for personal gain and you will suffer consequences...

#black magic #anti danneel #anti elta #psychic messages #psychic #channeled message #divination #anti genevieve

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serpentinearchitect17 · 1 year

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Just a short scene I wrote because Zutara has been occupying about 90% of my thoughts lately 😅

Side Note: This scene diverges from canon after the end of the war because damn it, Zuko and Katara will always end up together in whatever context, scene, or story I write. I’m also still working on my full fledged fanfic! I don’t want to give away too many details, but it is a Modern-Day AU with Lunar New Year celebrations, and an extreme amount of fluff and pining. I can’t wait to finally share it! I’m hoping for a late spring/early summer release on AO3, but that may be optimistic because I write about as fast as a snail-sloth.

Anyway, without further ado…

*****

~Zuko’s Favorite Color~

Three years after the end of the 100 Year War, the Gaang meets on Ember Island to spend the week together. Before leaving, Zuko asked Iroh to take over his Fire Lord duties for the time being, just so he could spend his holiday relaxing and enjoying his time with his friends.

They’re all lounging on the beach at the night, drinking tea around a fire.

After slurping her tea and setting the empty cup aside, Toph turns to the group.

“Let’s play a game,” she suggests. “The rules are simple. All you have to do is guess Sparky’s favorite color. The winner gets to have all of their meals paid for by him tomorrow.” She slaps Zuko, who’s sitting next to her, on the back. With a wicked grin, she continues, “And the loser has to plant one on him tonight, with his consent, of course.”

Zuko chokes on his tea. “Hey, wait a minute! None of that is even remotely fair,” he protests, gesturing wildly. He glares at the world’s greatest Earthbender with a scowl. “Either I have to dole out money or I have to give out a kiss. How does any of that benefit me? And why in Agni’s name would we play a game where you all guess my favorite color? It makes so sense!”

Sokka laughs. “Dude, you’re just afraid I’m gonna win and you’re gonna have buy me food. You’ve seen the way I eat - you’ll be out of money by the end of tomorrow!

Snorting, Zuko shakes his head. “Buddy, I think you’re afraid that you’re gonna lose and have to kiss me.”

“Psh, you’d be lucky to kiss me! I’m a real catch, aren’t I, Suki?”

Suki kisses her boyfriend’s cheek and coos, “You sure are.”

Impatiently, Toph sighs. “Are you in or not, Fire Lord? C’mon, you’re among friends. No one’s gonna hurt you. You can back out if you wanna, but I think it’ll be fun.”

Zuko knows she’s right. It’s all in good fun. These are his friends - the ones he’s trusted time and time again. No one would be cruel. Plus, if he’s being honest, he’s hoping that he’ll get to kiss a certain someone tonight. Someone he’s had a crush on for a long time.

“Fine,” Zuko mutters. “Go ahead.”

Toph gleefully rubs her hands together. “Excellent. Does everyone consent to the rules of the game?”

A chorus of ‘yeahs’, ‘yeses’, and ‘yeps’ goes around.

“Sweet,” Toph says. “I’ll go first. Sparky’s favorite color is…blue.”

Sokka nods sagely. “Yep, it’s 100% blue, no doubt about it.”

Suki chimes in with, “I agree. It’s totally blue.”

Aang hums, stroking his chin. “I think blue would be the correct answer here.”

It’s Katara’s turn. She furrows her brows and frowns. “Why are you all saying blue? His favorite color is obviously red! It’s the color of his homeland, and every article of clothing he owns has some shade of red in it!”

Zuko’s cheeks flush to a deep crimson. He feels himself sinking further into the sand. “Um…” he trails off, scrubbing his hands over his face. He’s not even sure how to respond.

Everyone looks at him expectantly.

Toph smirks. “So, Sparky, what is your favorite color?”

He knows he can’t lie. He’s never been able to, and he doesn’t think he could start now. He decides to give in, resigned to his fate.

Peeking between his fingers, he mumbles, “It’s…um…blue.”

Toph laughs uproariously. “Called it! And we all know why! See, you love blue because everything about it reminds you of Sugar Queen.”

Sokka makes a gagging sound, but offers his own explanation. “Blue is the color of her eyes, which you’re constantly drawn to, by the way. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Suki smiles. “Blue is the color of the clothing that she wears.”

Finally, Aang wraps up the conversation with, “Blue is the color of water, which is the element that she bends.”

Katara has been silent this whole time, her entire face highlighted in a lovely, rosy hue. She only has eyes for Zuko right now.

Quietly, she stands from her spot and crosses over to him, sitting down beside him. “Is any of this true?” she asks him softly, an unreadable expression on her face.

A shaky breath leaves his lips, and he nods. “Yeah, all of it,” he answers honestly, feeling his heart thump wildly.

Then, to his complete dismay, she gives him breathtaking smile.

Her ocean blue eyes never leave his as she murmurs, “Now might be a good time to tell you my favorite two colors.” She pauses, leaning over to brush the hair out of his eyes. “Red and gold because they’ll always be a part of you, Zuko. Every time I see those colors, I immediately think of you.”

His gasp is low, but an enormous grin overtakes his face. “Really?”

“Really.” She turns back to the group, who’s been watching with rapt attention. With a gentle smirk, she shrugs. “Guess I lost the game. And I’m nothing if not a gracious loser.”

Zuko hears Sokka snort, but only focuses on Katara.

“Do you really want to kiss me?” he asks nervously, hands clenching the bottom of his tunic to keep them from shaking. “Because I want to kiss you. Spirits, do I ever want to. But, your comfort comes first to me, always. So, we can forget this whole thing if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“I want to,” she sighs dreamily. “I’ve been waiting three years. Don’t make me wait any more.”

With that, they both lean and their lips touch. Finally.

As they continue to kiss, Zuko vaguely registers the sounds of claps, hollers, and an indignant whine of, “Dude, that’s my sister!” in the background.

Eventually, Katara pulls back to catch her breath, leaving Zuko in a dazed state.

She giggles, presses a light kiss to his scarred cheek, and says, “I think you may need to tap into the Fire Nation’s budget tomorrow. Your personal finances aren’t going to look so good with all of those mouths to feed.”

His eyes widen and dart to his friends, who all wave back at him smugly.

Groaning, he wraps his arm around her waist to pull her closer.

He addresses the group. “You’re all the worst. But…” he trails off to kiss the top of Katara’s head. “This stupid game was worth it.”

#avatar the last airbender #atla #zutara #zuko x katara #zuko and katara #zuko #katara #the gaang #the whole Gaang ships Zutara #fire lord zuko #ambassador katara #ember island

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radioactivepeasant · 11 months

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Fic Prompts: Free Day Thursday

As per Monday's poll, here we have the Prisoner Exchange AU! If I added everything I've got for it this post would be super long, so what I'm actually doing is giving you the angsty bits from the beginning here, and later this afternoon I'll post the later and less angsty part HERE and THERE

_________<________<________<_______<____

"Shift change."

Tomsin couldn't help breathing a sigh of relief. The prisoner -- gods it felt wrong to even think that -- hadn't moved much since the force field went up, but it was still unnerving to sit in the silence with him.

"Thank the Precursors. I'm gonna lose it if I have to stare at these walls another second." Tomsin stood up and stretched, trying not to show how eager she was to escape.

Her relief, Giles, shifted uncomfortably. His arm was still in a sling where Jak had all but snapped it in two. Green eco was rationed, even for soldiers now. It would take a few days for the bone to mend.

"How's he doing?" Giles asked, peering around Tomsin's shoulder at the figure crouched in the cell.

"He was pretty violent for a couple hours, but then he just went quiet," Tomsin admitted.

"Well can you blame him?" Giles shifted uncomfortably and crept closer to the force field.

Jak, their one time hero, huddled in a corner, knees pulled to his chest and staring blankly at the wall. He rocked back and forth, completely silent.

"This feels wrong, this feels so wrong," Giles whispered.

"This isn't what we got the tattoos for."

"I know." Tomsin looked away.

"Heard the stories. But I only ever saw Jak in creature mode, y'know? I didn't think he was this young."

Giles winced at the pitiful figure's silent rocking and let a traitorous thought escape.

"Is this really worth it?"

Tomsin gaped at him. "Giles, this is Torn we're talking about! Loyalty aside, losing him would compromise the whole city! And then Veger would be the governor's second in command."

Giles shuddered. Nobody wanted the pompous nobleman taking Commander Torn's place.

"I know, I know. I just...he can't be that much older than my Rosie. Feels bad."

"It's him or all of us," Tomsin said, but she wouldn't look at either of them.

Giles knew it was to hide the uncertainty in her eyes.

Tomsin signed out and Giles took her seat. Working up his courage, he swallowed hard and called softly, "Hey, hey kid. You hungry? I can...I can get something delivered if you want. You want anything?"

Jak curled tighter -- the first reaction Giles had seen so far -- and barely audibly croaked,

"No drugs."

The words soured and withered away on Giles's tongue. The kid expected them to drug his food? Giles thought of his daughter, twelve and full of pre-teen impudence. His stomach churned, imagining her in Jak’s place.

Are we selling our souls to get Torn back? he wondered.

"I'm sorry, kid," he said quietly. "If...if I had the passcode, I'd let you out."

He was not that surprised to find that he meant it.

"The governor is pretty darn sure those Wastelanders don't want to hurt you but- well. Who ever trusted a Praxis anyway?"

"I did," Jak answered unexpectedly.

He buried his head in his arms.

"Wish I hadn't."

____________<><><><><><><><>______________

In any other context, the morning would have been beautiful. Birds were beginning to fill the empty buildings of Dead Town with their nests, and for the first time in more than ten years, signs of life filled the ruined streets. It was a perfect summer morning, still spared the waves of heat that were already sweeping the western archipelago.

It was, in Ashelin's opinion, deeply inappropriate weather for what might as well have been an execution.

Jak hadn't spoken to her since the night before. Actually, Jak hadn't spoken to anyone since the night before. He glared at the ground, but didn't seem to be really seeing it. His movements were mechanical, a kind of autopilot just quick enough to prevent the Freedom League guards from dragging him bodily to the stretch of land where the exchange was to take place. He looked...broken. Like he'd finally lost his will to fight.

Ashelin wanted to be sick.

"I...I'm sorry, Jak," she whispered. "The Council overruled me. There was nothing I could do."

She tasted the lie on her lips and closed her eyes.

"I know that you're the only person who can get through this, and beat these raiders at their own game. I hope- I hope one day you'll forgive me, Jak."

From his shoulder, Daxter bunched himself up and growled, "Don't count on it."

Count Veger marched out ahead of them and raised his staff to signal the warlord they called The Dune-Wolf.

"Show us the commander, unharmed, and we'll release the boy to you."

"Well look at that," a Wastelander -- Sig, Ashelin thought his name was, Krew's heavy-- jeered.

"A Praxis can do the right thing after all! And it only took a hostage and some blackmail to accomplish."

The Wolf snorted, an echoing sound behind his mask. "Thank heaven for little miracles," he said sardonically, and once again Ashelin was struck by the familiarity of his voice.

She could have sworn that for just an instant she felt the ice in his stare, piercing her throat when he caught sight of Jak and stiffened.

Cold and hard, he hissed, "You bring him to me in chains?"

Jak’s eyes flicked upward for a brief second, meeting his, then they seemed to cloud over again. It was the most reaction he'd shown to anything since they'd taken him from the cell.

Veger hid his nerves better than the soldiers. Better than Ashelin.

"For your own protection," he murmured, feigning deference as he stepped back. "The boy is...violently unsuited to society. Feral, in a word."

"You want feral?" Daxter snarled from Jak's shoulder, "Oh, I'll give you feral-!"

Sig stepped forward at a gesture from his commander and shoved Torn in front of him. Torn stumbled and nearly fell. He sucked in a breath. Jak looked rough. Disoriented. Clearly, this wasn't a willing trade. He looked to Ashelin, to Veger, and knew in his heart that this was always going to happen. But this marked the second time he had betrayed Jak, albeit unwittingly this time. And this time, Jak wasn't coming back.

"I'm so sorry, Jak-! I didn't want this!" Torn croaked.

Jak did not seem like he was even aware of his presence.

When the two prisoners reached the halfway point, Sig all but threw Torn at the Havenites. He grabbed Jak by the arm and yanked him away from the guards as if they were going to change their mind and whisk Jak back into the city.

"Easy, cherries," he murmured, softening his grip, "Y'all just sit tight. S' gonna be okay."

The Wolf tilted his head to watch Jak for a moment. The boy was slumped, listless. Resigned. Slowly, the warlord's posture tightened and tensed until he looked to be a hair's breadth from killing someone.

"Take them back to base camp," he commanded.

"Aye, sir."

Sig wrapped his arm around Jak’s shoulders -- and Daxter by extension.

"Come on, boys. Let's get that wristwear off you."

The Wolf watched as Sig led Jak to one of the ominous looking vehicles behind them. Then he lifted his chin and gestured with his staff at the Havenites in a parody of a magnanimous benefactor.

"The House of Mar thanks you for your...cooperation, Count. Governor," he declared mockingly.

His guards kept their eyes trained on the slack, horrified faces of Ashelin, Torn, and Veger until the Wolf had swung himself back in the retrofitted Hellcat.

#Jak and Daxter #jak and daxter au #prisoner exchange au #angst/comfort #fic prompts #writing prompts #free day thursday #dadmas #king damas #jak and daxter sig #count veger #ashelin praxis #Ashelin isn't a villain but she can be selfish. you know. like Samos but with less manipulation #Haven didn't realize the warlord was Damas and now they're panicking #part two to follow this afternoon #illustrations #my art

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andreafmn · 1 year

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12 Days of Ficmas - Day 3

Prompt (by @12-days-of-ficmas): it’s cliche it’s trash i don’t care oh no the heating in our apartment is broken guess we’d better cuddle

Word Count: 2.8K

Story Description: It's cold and the radiator in the cabin doesn't work. Will (Y/N)'s plans for the night be ruined?

Fandom: Stranger Things

Pairing: Jim Hopper x Fem!Reader

Warnings: a whiff of smut, bad language

A/N: i'm gonna be honest, i have not watched the last season of stranger things, so I'm still in the season 3 mentality. this fic will be set in December after everything that went down on that season (obvs Jim isn't a prisoner and the Byers and El don't move to California)💖 and whoops, I'm late, but there's a bonus coming in a bit 😉

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That's One Way to Get Warm

Hawkins, Indiana got cold. Far too cold for comfort and your heating system not working would be a devastation like no other. The very dilemma (Y/N) was facing at that very moment.

But her day didn’t start that way.

It had actually started quite normal – as normal as it could be with a kid that has biokinetic powers.

They had all had a hell of a year. The Russian infiltration in Hawkins; fighting the Mindslayer; closing the door to the Upside Down; almost losing Jim; Mike and El becoming an item, then not, then yes once more.

The last two had been the hardest for (Y/N). She had been taking care of Eleven alongside Hopper since he’d taken her in during winter the year before. By that time Hopper and she had just been friends – close friends, but nothing more. He had trusted her with the secret that the girl was out of the upside down and she offered to help him take care of El.

During that time they grew closer than they thought they could. (Y/N) was younger than Hopper and they knew the town would talk – small towns always talk. But they couldn’t help what they felt. And when El went missing they only had each other to lean on. So, that’s what they did.

It didn’t take long for them to finally admit their feelings for one another. Soon thereafter El reappeared in Hawkins. And after defeating more otherworldly creatures, the three of them became a family. And, at least on paper, Jane Hopper was theirs.

The three of them learned something new day by day. (Y/N) learned how to be a mother, El learned how to live and function in society, and Jim Hopper learned patience. So. Much. Patience. In the blink of an eye, he had gone from a lone wolf bachelor to living with his girlfriend and his adopted child. And even though he would not have traded his present life for anything, it took him some time to get used to it – old habits die hard.

Yet they all found their rhythm as a family. It wasn’t long until they felt like a unit. And when their summer from hell came to an end, they were grateful they had each other to fall back onto. It brought them closer than they ever thought possible.

As the months passed, they started having ‘normal’ family problems. Who left an almost empty jug of milk in the fridge; Hopper forgetting special dates; Eggo waffles being finished far too fast; El going out with friends on a school night; El going out with Mike.

The latter was the hardest for Jim and (Y/N). El was growing quickly before their eyes. Although they were not her birth parents, they had been by her side through milestones no other parent would understand. And she was their daughter.

“Okay, honey. You’ve got your gift?” (Y/N) asked El as she was preparing to leave her in Mike’s house for the party’s little Christmas party.

“Yes,” El smiled.

“And Mrs. Wheeler is gonna take you home at nine o’clock, correct?”

“Yes, (Y/N/N),” she chuckled at her surrogate mother’s persistence. “Can I go now?”

“Yes, honey,” (Y/N) smiled and hugged her from the driver’s side of the car. “Have fun. I love you!”

“Love you too! Bye!” El called out as she ran from the car to the front door, trying her best to avoid the snowy weather.

As soon as the girl was inside the house, (Y/N) felt confident enough to drive back home. When she got to the cabin, the sun had completely gone. The trail to the cabin had started to get filled with snow and the windows had started to get frosted.

The thing (Y/N) loved the most about the cold was being able to warm up comfortably. Sometimes it was with a warm and thick blanket, other times with a nice fire, and there were other times when she warmed up by partaking in… physical activities. But the radiator was always on.

It was a small cabin, so it didn’t take much to warm up the space. Still, there was nothing better than the radiator. The little machine was a godsend during Indiana winters. Those were simply unforgivable.

(Y/N) wrapped her jacket close to her body as she walked from the warm car to the porch. Snowflakes landed on her hair, melting quickly after contact, dampening her hair a little. As her hands shook, she dug through her bag for the house keys. She could already hear Hop telling her to keep the car keys and the house keys together so she didn’t have to fumble for them.

“But if I lost my car keys, I would lose the home keys as well,” (Y/N) repeats the story herself the same answer she always gave him. This time she was regretting it. “Screw you, Hop.”

Seconds after, she finally fished out the silver keys.

She entered the cabin promptly after, hanging her coat onto the hook and shaking off the snow that had dropped on her. Without thinking much of it, (Y/N) made a beeline for the radiator. The house had become freezing inside in the few minutes she had gone to leave El at the Wheeler’s house. And she wanted Hopper and El to come home to a warm and cozy house.

(Y/N) was a woman with a plan. She would turn on the radiator, put some cookies in to bake, set the fireplace, and wait for her family to come home. It was a nice and perfect plan. Until the radiator didn’t switch on. She turned the valve to the utter end and nothing happened.

“You’ve got to be kidding me?!” (Y/N) yelled out. She had no idea how to fix anything, it was too late to call someone to repair it, and she wanted — needed — heat. So, she called the next best thing. “Hey, Flo. Is Hopper by chance still there?”

“Oh, hello, (Y/N/N),” she chirped. “I’m afraid he already left.”

“Shoot. How long ago?”

“About fifteen minutes already, I think. Is everything okay?”

“Is there a chance you know how to fix a radiator, Flo? Ours is shot.”

“Oh, honey, I can barely work a phone as it is,” she joked. “But I’m sure Hop will be there soon enough.”

“I just hope he doesn’t break it further,” (Y/N) laughed. “You know how he gets.”

“Well, then, start a fire by now cause God knows that man knows how to break things more than he knows how to fix them.” Flo’s laughter rang through the phone, and she couldn’t help but join in. “I’ll tell Randy to go check up on it tomorrow.”

“Alright, Flo, thanks. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas to you as well, honey.”

As she hung up the receiver, all (Y/N) could do was let out a yell of frustration. Hopper would be home in the next ten to fifteen minutes, which meant ten to fifteen of freezing temperatures. So, she took Flo’s advice and started building a fire in the fireplace. Everything she touched was cold, frozen by the weather outside.

Putting on a jacket and finally getting the fire lit, she tried to do what she had planned. But she could feel the cold seeping into her bones, begging her to sit on the couch in front of the fire. Still, she fought through it and was able to put the cookies in the oven, to at least do one of the things she had planned for.

As she was closing the oven, the front door swung open, and Jim stepped through with a smile on his face. Until he noticed it was as cold inside as it was outside.

“Uh, baby, why isn’t the radiator on?” Hopper asked. “It’s freezing in here.”

“Well, your trusty radiator is broken so we’re stuck with just the fireplace,” she responded. “I was thinking we could put some comforters on the floor, some pillows, and we could all hang out in front of the fireplace tonight. Until we can call someone to repair it tomorrow.”

“Why would we call anyone? I can fix it.”

(Y/N) bit her tongue, not wanting to say anything that could offend him. She knew it would end badly, but she would thoroughly enjoy the journey. She knew her boyfriend would become frustrated with the radiator and eventually break some part of it, which would they then end up replacing the whole thing. She just liked to see him fight with inanimate objects.

He fetched the tool bag from outside, plopping himself in front of the machine. Hopper started by twisting the valve, testing in fact that it wouldn’t turn on. Then, he started twisting bolts that did not need to be tightened. After, he resorted to hitting the pipe that connected the radiator to the valve.

“Um, Hop, I don’t think that’s gonna do anything,” (Y/N) finally chimed in. “We can just call someone tomorrow.”

“You don’t think I can do it?” Hopper grumbled. “We don’t have to spend money paying someone else when I know I can fix it. Just give me a sec.”

(Y/N) could see his eyebrows furrowing, annoyance growing inside him. Nothing he did seemed to work, not even shaking the old machine. Out of frustration, he kept hitting the pipes harder and harder until one of them broke.

“FU-UCK!” Hopper yelled out as he slammed the tools to the floor.

“Hop,” (Y/N) called out lovingly from the couch. “Come here.”

“I can’t fucking believe this. This old piece of sh…”

“Baby, come here.”

Finally, the man looked up, any anger he had quickly dissipated when he gazed at her. Hopper got up from the floor, defeatedly walking toward her. He sat next to her, his head in his hands.

“I’ll call up Randy tomorrow morning to see if there’s any point to repair it,” he sighed. “I should’ve just listened to you and left it alone.”

“It’s fine, Flo already called him,” she chuckled. “I love you, Hop, but you’re not good at fixing stuff like this.”

“So, you had no faith in me?”

“Not precisely,” she grinned. “You’re good at so many things, but not this.”

Hopper faked being angry — he did feel a bit offended that his girlfriend didn’t believe in him. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, a scowl plastered on his face. He avoided her gaze, knowing he would break the moment he looked into her eyes.

“Oh, come on, Hop. You don’t need to act offended.” (Y/N) bit back her laughter, not wanting to anger him further. She knew exactly how to change his mood quickly. She moved until she was sat next to him, running her fingers across his arms. “Look on the bright side. We can cuddle on the couch until El gets home.”

It didn’t take much for a mischievous grin to appear on Hopper’s face. Especially when (Y/N) planted a kiss on his lips. He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her over him until she was straddling his lap. She let out a gleeful shriek and circled her arms around his neck, lowering her head to meet his lips once again.

“I have an idea on how we can heat up without the radiator,” he grinned. “Might make up for the fact that I broke it.”

“Very funny, baby,” she purred as his beard tickled her neck. He left a trail of kisses from her jaw down to her neck, biting slightly. Just enough to not leave a mark. “But El’s gonna be home soon, and I don’t wanna traumatize her just yet with that kind of thing.”

“But she won’t be here for another…” he looked at his watch. “Another twenty minutes. We can definitely have some fun until then."

“Don’t start something we can’t finish, baby,” she whined against him. (Y/N) was getting warmer. Partly because of the fireplace, but mostly from Hopper. She could feel her want growing – she could also feel him growing, – but she knew they couldn’t go on. Thankfully, the oven beeped. “We should seriously stop, Hop. Either way, I need to get the cookies out of the oven.”

“Oh you’re such a tease,” he groaned as she got off him. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“I don’t know. Think of something else,” she laughed. “Now, help me get the comforters and the pillows out to the living room.”

As (Y/N) placed the cookies on a rack to cool, Hopper started moving the furniture to make space for the bed cover and pillows. He brought out as many blankets as he could and placed them all on the floor, creating two makeshift beds on the floor.

“You know, I was thinking,” Hopper called out.

“That’s never good,” she chuckled.

“Normally, no,” he joined in the laughter. “But I’ve been thinking it’s time we start upsizing.”

“Upsizing? What are you talking about, baby?”

“You know, expanding.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying, Hop?”

He joined her in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her toward him. He looked down intently into her eyes. “What do you think I’m saying?”

“Bigger house.” He nodded and kissed her temple. “Bigger… family?” He nodded again, kissing her cheek. “Finally a ring on my finger?”

And he smiled brightly as he nodded, kissing her lips passionately. “I’d say it’s about time.”

“That is the greatest gift ever, Hop.”

“I wanna talk it over with El first, though. Make sure she’s part of this transition.”

Before she could answer, a honk beeped from outside.

“We can ask her now,” (Y/N) smiled. “She’s here.”

She kissed his cheek and exited the cabin. Outside, Mrs. Wheeler smiled at the woman, waving her hand from the car as Eleven exited the car. The girl said goodbye to the woman and skipped over to (Y/N)’s side where they watched as Mike’s mother drove away.

“Did you have fun, honey?” (Y/N) asked her as they walked inside.

“Yes. Max gave me an Eggo ornament,” she smiled. “Can it go on the tree?”

“Absolutely!”

“Hey, kiddo!” Hopper called out. “How was it today?”

“Fun,” she responded. “I have a waffle ornament. Goes on the tree.”

“Well that’s fun,” he replied, unsure of what to say.

As she placed the lacquered ornament onto the tree, she commented, “It’s cold.”

“Yeah, well, the radiator is kind of broken,” (Y/N) replied. “But I was thinking since the heat is out, we could sleep in front of the fireplace tonight. Before we can eat cookies, snuggle up on the sofa, and watch a Christmas movie. Make a whole thing out of it.”

“Sounds fun,” she responded. “Where do I put ornament?”

“Anywhere you want, honey.”

El levitated the ornament, placing it on the highest point, making sure no one would miss it. A smile spread onto her face, proud of her gift and her work. After, she went into her room to change into her pajamas and later helped (Y/N) plate the cookies while Hopper changed out of his uniform.

A couple of minutes later, the three of them were under thick blankets watching Miracle on 34th Street. Half of the cookies were done and three glasses of milk at different fill heights. And as the movie finished, and they were all slightly crying, Hopper spoke up.

“Hey, kiddo, there’s something we wanted to talk to you about something,” he started and only continued when she gave him all her attention. "(Y/N) and I were thinking that it was time for us to start expanding. Buy a bigger house, get married, maybe have a baby. What do you think about that?”

“With me?” El asked worriedly.

“Absolutely, honey,” (Y/N) answered quickly. “We would never think of a future without you. El, you are our daughter now and forever. Don’t ever doubt that.”

(Y/N) took the girl into her arms and gave her a tight hug, one Hopper joined after, his big arms surrounding them both. Tears were streaming from (Y/N)’s eyes and she wasn’t sure if it was from the movie or what El had asked.

“I would like it,” she said after. “Big house, a brother or sister. Big, happy family.”

Once they were all settled on their respective makeshift beds on the floor and El was deeply asleep, Hopper placed a soft kiss on (Y/N)’s lips. On his face, a huge smile danced, his eyes full of love.

“What was that for?” (Y/N) chuckled tiredly.

“For everything,” he sighed contentedly. “For our future, for helping me with El even if you didn’t have to, for putting up with me, for giving me a chance, for…”

(Y/N) gave him another kiss to stop his rambling. “I wouldn’t change this for the world, Hop. You, El, and whatever comes next, that’s my forever,” she smiled. “And take tomorrow off. El is gonna be gone for the whole day.”

With a grin on his face, he responded, “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

Taglist: @honeylovemoon @supernaturalwriter @beckiej0073-blog @skyesthebomb @krazyk99 @klf1999 @ilikepunsbeth @magimtz23 @sl-ut @adaydreamaway08 @hufflepuffobsessedwithmarvel @toomanythoughts33

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captainsophiestark · 6 months

Text

Ghosts

Matt Donovan x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2023!

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Day 28 Prompt: "I may not get another chance to say this."

Summary: The scene where Matt jumps into the pool for a near-death experience, but with his SO instead of Bonnie.

Word Count: 1,288

Category: Angst, Fluff at the end

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I was busy digging through a school supply closet in the middle of the night when my phone rang. I jumped at the noise, adrenaline pumping at having snuck into the high school in the dead of night with my friends. It was for senior prank night, so it's not like we would get in terrible trouble if we got caught, but still.

I ditched the rolls of toilet paper I'd been gathering to spread all over the school and grabbed my phone to see my boyfriend, Matt Donovan, staring back at me from the caller ID. I quickly answered.

"Matt, good news, I found the tp jackpot."

"Y/N... you remember the summer we met, working as life guards together at the town pool?"

I furrowed my brow, scooping a few rolls of toilet paper into my free hand as I responded.

"Yeah..."

"And you remember the hours we spent in classes getting CPR certified?"

"Unfortunately, yeah."

"Well... I'm gonna need you to put it to good use. I'm at the pool. I know this is gonna sound crazy, but... I think Vicki is trying to talk to me."

"What? Matt, what the hell are you talking about?"

I dropped the rolls of toilet paper and shut the closet door, then started heading for the pool.

"Jeremy told me he's been able to see ghosts since Bonnie brought him back from the dead," he said. I sped up, panic setting in a little at the tone in his voice.

"Matt, I'm not magic. And Bonnie barely managed to bring Jeremy back-"

"You don't need magic for CPR. I know you'll save me."

"Matthew Grant Donovan, don't you dare-"

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but I have to do this. If Vicki needs my help... I can't leave her. I trust you to save me."

"Matt, you're being insane!" I'd started running for the pool now, still not totally sure what Matt was thinking but definitely sure it wasn't good.

"I trust you to save me," he repeated. "But listen... just in case... I may not get another chance to say this, so... I love you. A lot. And after everybody I've lost, I can't tell you how happy I am to have you in my life."

"Whatever the hell you're thinking of doing, Donovan, don't-"

The call ended. I swore and shoved my phone into my pocket before doubling my pace. I slammed through the doors to the school's pool a few moments later and found Matt's shoes and keys at the pool's edge. I looked into the pool and found a shape floating near the bottom. Matt.

The kind of calm that only comes in a crisis washed over me, and I chucked off every layer of clothing I could easily lose before diving into the pool, using my momentum to reach Matt faster at the bottom. He'd strapped a weight around his stomach, the dumbass, and I quickly unfastened it before wrapping my arms around his waist and pushing upwards, shoving both feet off the bottom of the pool. Matt was heavy, but we rose quickly, and the urgency of the situation gave me the little extra strength I needed to heave him over the edge of the pool and onto dry land.

I took deep breaths as I leapt out of the pool, turning Matt over and checking for a pulse. I breathed a half sigh of relief when I found one, weak and thready though it was. I leaned over to check if he was breathing next, and found he wasn't. I didn't waste a second before calmly tipping Matt's head back, pinching his nose, and giving him two rescue breaths. I watched carefully to see his chest rise with my breath, then leaned back for a moment before doing another round.

I kept going, that emergency calm just starting to fray when Matt jerked awake, sitting up straight and looking at me wildly. He'd almost headbutted me right in the face he'd moved so fast and so suddenly, but thankfully I managed to rock back on my heels before he could make contact. We both sat still for a few moments, staring at each other with wide eyes while the adrenaline rushed through us, and then I punched Matt in the arm, hard.

"Ow! What the hell?" he cried, rubbing at his arm. He was dripping wet and still struggling to catch his breath a little, but the wave of calm had completely receded, and it had been replaced by pure anger.

"That's my line!" I screamed, smacking Matt a few more times, albeit with less force. "What the hell were you thinking? How could you do that to me? Do you know how horrifying it was to come in here and see you at the bottom of that pool? To think I might lose you? That I might fail, and you would die?"

"I'm sorry-"

"Not good enough! I get that Vicki is important to you, and you're still dealing with her death, but-"

"I saw her! I saw her, Y/N. She gave me a message for Bonnie."

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, trying to get better control of my temper before I spoke again. After a second, I met Matt's wide blue eyes.

"Matt, you should've gone to Bonnie first. Or Jeremy. Or done literally any of about a thousand things before you tried to drown yourself, leaving me with a phone call and nightmares for the rest of my life about your dead body."

He looked down, guilty, shaking his head a little. I just sighed, sinking down onto the pool floor to sit next to him. We stayed like that for a few long moments, shoulder to shoulder and both of us processing. Finally, Matt looked at me again, distress written on every inch of his face.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. And I know that's not nearly enough for what I did, but... I hope it's at least a start. Everything that happened with Vicki... I think about it every day. I think about her every day. And I got so wrapped up in the chance at seeing her again that I didn't even think about putting you in the same position. I know it's too late to take back what I did but... I swear, I'll never do anything like that to you again."

I sighed, flopping my head onto Matt's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me, and although we were both soaking wet and I'd started to get a little chilled, it didn't seem important right now.

"Never again, Matt? You swear?"

"I swear. On everything that's ever been important to me, I swear."

I nodded, still not picking my head up from his shoulder.

"Then okay. I can forgive you, and we can get through this. But seriously Matt, talk to me first next time. And then we'll talk to everyone else, and then we'll figure out a better plan than the one you just came up with."

"Deal."

"Good. Now let's get out of here and change into some dry clothes. Then we can find Bonnie and do whatever we can to help your sister."

Matt and I stood together, leaning on each other as we headed out of the room. No matter how many stupid plans he came up with, it didn't change the face that I loved him. We'd find a way to figure things out, no matter how weird Mystic Falls got.

Although, if I said I wasn't looking forward to leaving this town after graduating at the end of the year... I'd definitely be lying. Hopefully with a few more disasters like this, I'd be able to convince Matt it was worth it to leave too.

****************

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