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#and i only did that because 1) i felt that he'd understand and 2) he is one of the few ppl that seemed like he genuinely cared bout
reinainaric · 3 months
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Marriage of Convenience with Geto Suguru
pt 1.
arranged husband!geto x fem!reader
contents: fluff, jealous!reader, slow burn trope, suguru is a little whipped, soft!suguru, words of affirmations
cw: nsfw, a bit dirty talks, breeding kink, oral sex (f. receiving), missionary
link for pt. 2
***
arranged husband!geto suguru being the stoic and cold man in the relationship, despite how he already found you so beautiful the first time his family introduced you to him.
arranged husband!geto suguru who simply asked you about your hobbies and interests while you two walked through the garden of his clan's home just to get to know you, maintaining a serious and professional tone of his voice.
arranged husband!geto suguru who was shocked hearing your soft voice as you two talked about how your arrangement will work. when you said you don't expect love from him and promised to do your duties as his wife, his heart ached a bit.
arranged husband!geto suguru who showed you your new home, watching as your mouth gaped open at the big mansion. he chuckled when he saw how your eyes widened even more when he told you he designed the house.
arranged husband!geto suguru who felt sorry he had to leave the first morning of living together as a married couple due to handling the clan's business, saying he'll come home as quickly as he could. when you gave him a nod and a small smile, he knew you were only being understanding as his wife, and as having the first day together.
arranged husband!geto suguru who came home tired and asked how you are at the dining table. "fine, i'm still trying to get used to this arrangement," you said truthfully. suguru appreciated the fact that you were always straightforward since the first time you met, and he was making sure to make adjustments for you so you'd be comfortable.
"how about your bed? is it to your comfort?" he asked like a professional businessman. you nodded your head as a response. "if you get uncomfortable, or if there's anything not in your liking, please do tell me so i can get something better for you."
arranged husband!geto suguru who took you to adventure the big mansion. exploring every corner of the house, and even outside the gardens.
"why did you construct such a big house for two people?" you asked. "i know there are a few servants too, but still... it's a little big."
"it's just enough for a family." his own attempt of a joke didn't come out as one because of the seriousness in his voice. and he almost chuckled at the way you blushed.
he coughed, and then proceeded to lead you to another part of the garden.
arranged husband!geto suguru who's been nothing but an attentive partner as the days gone by. he'd ask you about how your day is after spending time at work, taking you at business events, making sure to spend every dinner with you so you won't feel alone, and walking you to your bedroom since you two slept separately. it was a mutual understanding arrangement, and you made sure you do your part of the deal as well.
arranged husband!geto suguru who said no when you asked him if he's going to work. "it's my day off," he said. you gave a small nod of understanding as you two ate breakfast together, with you feeling a bit awkward at the atmosphere. you were a bit used to him not being at home most days, especially in the morning during your breakfasts.
arranged husband!geto suguru who asked if you'd like to have a picnic with him. and suguru was shocked when you agreed, saying it was your first time having one.
arranged husband!geto suguru who took you somewhere far beyond the woods along your mansion. it was in front of a beautiful pond that you didn't know existed, and you two settled at the blanket he laid out for the two of you. both of you sat in silence, with the picnic basket being in the middle of you two.
arranged husband!geto suguru who asked, "don't you miss being at home?" and you shake your head in response. "why? if it's okay for me to ask..."
"all i did there was read, and taught how to be prim and proper." you shake your head at the memory. "teaching me how to be an obedient lady, so when i get married, I won't disappoint my partner. it was boring."
the silence almost felt suffocating, and you jerked your head at him as you blushed. "im sorry... i think i said too much."
suguru quickly shakes his head. "no, no... i'm thankful that you're honest. and i'm sorry you have to live through that."
"it's fine. i mean, i'm doing good at the job, am i?"
arranged husband!geto suguru who blinked once, or twice, when he heard you say that. and it was slowly processing on his mind, and he didn't want to make you feel like you're just a doll made for a husband. "don't think such thoughts."
you were shocked when he said that, with his cold, baritone voice. "w-what?"
arranged husband!geto suguru who reached his hand to touch your cheeks, slowly surrendering to his feelings. "you're not just a mere wife that i need for appearances in business. although it is a clan's decision for us to be married, i want you... to act like yourself. do whatever you want, and not cage your life in this marriage... you're not just a wife, you're a person too..."
arranged husband!geto suguru who searched your eyes as he said those words. you were speechless, and almost trembling. it was the first time someone said such a thing to you, and you felt your heart almost explode in your chest as suguru leaned in and sealed your lips in a kiss.
arranged husband!geto suguru who invaded your mouth in a passionate kiss, like how he used to dream of. his tongue licking your bottom lip to seek for entrance. but his eyes shot open when you pulled away with a heavy gasped.
arranged husband!geto suguru who became worried he might have crossed the line, but his breath hitched when you spoke, "I'm sorry... it's my first time, I don't know how to kiss..."
he smiled, chuckling as he brought you to his lap, "there's a lot of time for practice." he said before kissing your lips once again.
arranged husband!geto suguru who finally had his tongue in your mouth, dancing with yours in a harmony. his hands roamed around your curves, stopping on your ass and giving it a light squeeze. he almost groaned when you moaned against his mouth at the action.
arranged husband!geto suguru kisses your neck, and then your collarbone, sucking and nibbling gently. "fuck... you taste so good..."
when he pulled away, he looked at your flushed face, feeling a sense of pride in him that he made you feel like this. despite his desires, he didn't want to go too far just yet. he smiled, and gave you a soft peck, "let's head home."
and together, you walked hand in hand as you walked back to your house.
arranged husband!geto suguru who became a little affectionate after that encounter. stealing a kiss from your lips, and even pecking your cheeks when he was about to leave. he'd snuggle his face on your shoulder when you two stand a little too close, and he'd grin when you moan after kissing a sensitive spot on your neck.
"my baby is so responsive..." he'd chuckle, and you'll blush at the endearment.
arranged husband!geto suguru who eyes you worriedly when you become silent after coming home together in a business event. you two walked at the front door, and you never uttered a word as you walked to the stairs.
"baby, what's wrong?" he pulled you by your wrist when you almost reached your bedroom. he cupped your cheeks, forcing you to make eye contact.
"nothing, just tired."
"liar." he frowned. he leaned in, kissing your lips once. and then twice. and thrice. and here comes a fourth one, and another one after another one, until you're struggling to push him away as he kisses you repeatedly. "not stopping until you tell me."
and you surrendered easily. "fine..."
arranged husband!geto suguru felt his heart combust when you told him you've been jealous the whole night as plenty of women were looking at him hungrily. he bit his lips, trying to contain his smile when you said you were taking note of the girls who tried to flirt with him during the business event.
he couldn't even stop himself from smiling even more when you turned furiously at him, "are you making fun of me?"
"no, baby." he chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist. "you're just so fucking cute when you're like this." he said as he pushes you through the door of your bedroom, slamming it shut while his lips were locked into yours.
"you're mine." he said against your lips, his hands slowly undressing you until you're fully naked on the bed.
arranged husband!geto suguru admired your body. his hands explored every inch of your skin as if he was trying to memorize it, his eyes were lustful yet filled with affection. you pulled him by his necktie, whining as you say, "kiss me more, please?"
he obliged to your orders as he helped you unbutton his shirt until he was only left with his boxers. his kisses became rough, as if in a hurry to taste you in his mouth once again, as if it was the first time he was kissing you.
arranged husband!geto suguru groaned when he pushed his middle and ring finger on your wet folds, sliding in easily. "you're so wet... all for me..." he breathed against your earlobe, biting and sucking at the skin of your neck.
you moaned softly as he began stretching you out, fingering you slowly at first before gradually increasing his pace. your toes curled at the sensation, and your thigh almost tried to close if only he wasn't holding you still. your breath hitched when you suddenly felt his breath fanning your pussy, you didn't even realized his face was already between your thighs.
arranged husband!geto suguru who ravishes your wet pussy like a starved man. alternating between licking and sucking as his free hand plays with your clit, making sure you feel everything at once.
his fingers thrusts her insides greedily, eager to make her cum on his face as his tongue continued to suck. when she let out a strangled cry, he smirked to himself as he felt her reaching her orgasm, making sure to drink every essence of her.
arranged husband!geto suguru removed his underwear, revealing his long, throbbing cock. it was veiny, and pinkish at the tip as it was spilling pre cum, angrily standing up. he stroke his cock while maintaining eye contact with her, "see this, baby? you did that to me."
"suguru..." you stutter. "that won't fit..."
he chuckled at your blushing face. "i already prepped you enough, baby. it'll fit perfectly."
arranged husband!geto suguru slowly pushes his tip inside your pussy, sliding in slowly as he watches your face contort in both discomfort and pleasure. "you okay, darling?"
you nodded your head, pulling him by the torso so he'd push it in more.
"it'll hurt, but i'll be gentle." he whispered against your ear.
arranged husband!geto suguru hushes you as he slips in his full length. leaving soft kisses on your cheek. "shh, you can take it, baby... i know you can, come on... yeah? see, i'm all in..."
you moaned in discomfort, your virginity tearing away. "sugu..."
"shhh, it's okay... tell me when to move." he said, caressing your tummy.
arranged husband!geto suguru moved slowly when you gave him the green light. his thrusts were gentle, as he promised. making sure you were enjoying this as much as he did.
"fuck! you're so tight. you're sucking me in..." his groans turned you on even more as he thrust into you. "take it all... fuck it..."
"Ohhh... Suguru... faster..."
that's all it took for Suguru to lose all his control as his hips slammed into yours in a merciless pace. he rammed his dick into you harshly, his hands came to grasp your breasts, squeezing and pinching your nipple.
Their moans filled the room, together with the slapping of their wet skin. you were almost reaching your high, and you were crying out at the intense pleasure that suguru was giving you.
his cock filled you to the brim as he thrusts his hot seed inside, together with your orgasm. pants heavily as his pace started to slow down, keeping his cock inside you as his head snuggled on your neck.
"suguru..." you moaned softly after your release.
"hmm?" he hummed. "you did so well for me, baby."
arranged husband!geto suguru woke up the next day with you snuggled in his chest. he groaned as he felt your bare legs wrapped around his torso, his cock perfectly placed right between your thighs. he mentally took note not to sleep with you naked, so he wouldn't have a morning wood so early in the morning.
as he shuffles in bed, you woke up yawning, "sugu?"
he stopped moving, gently caressing your hair. "im sorry... did i wake you up?"
you shake your head, wrapping your arms around him to pull him close, your pussy practically pressed on him. you didn't even mind it since you were too sleepy to think.
"fuck, babe... i can't focus if you're like this..." he groaned.
"h-huh?" you whispered, eyes half-closed.
and that's simply how your morning sex started. with him sliding his cock inside you as you moaned, fully awake at the pleasure. when he finally got it out of his system, he carried you to the bathroom to clean you up, but still not wasting the chance to slide himself inside you from the back under the shower.
once you were both cleaned, he helped you dry your hair and put your clothes on, carrying you to the vanity table since you told him your legs hurt. he massage your shoulders as his hand combed your hair. "feel better?"
"a little sore down there."
Suguru smiled to himself.
***
pt. 2, pt. 3
so... uhmm... this is my first fic and im not sure if i did fine. im sorry for the grammatical errors and spellings 😭
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feyascorner · 3 months
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So might have noticed i have read all your fics and I absolutely love them all!
If your open to taking this request for a fic, i would love like 4 times astarion was jealous and 1 time you were! (I dont know if your familiar with the prompt). Tav sleeping with someone before they get together (act 1) he’s catching feelings! After relationship is established: Act 2 Halsin showing his interest (whether its reciprocated is up to you!). Act3 Shar’s caress, the owner talking about Tav’s interest and drow twins!
Finally, Tav being jealous! Astarion fully enjoying it!
Or just anything with jealous astarion i would LIVE for! Love your work either way 😆
a/n. THEYRE SO CUTE IM IN TEARS I LOVE JEALOUS ASTARION/TAV
also this is not proofread unfortunately, and I'm not 100% if i did this right but we rock and roll!!!1
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As much as Astarion boasts (and resents) his familiarity with seduction, you're an anomaly he's yet to understand despite his centuries of experience.
Never once in his courtship, even when he'd been alive, had he felt so tested that he was jealous, over someone. Not really, anyway. Sure there were bits of bitter feelings here and there, but most were trivial and about something involved in the relationship, not the person themselves.
He's counted four times since the two of you met, where he had to resort to his better judgment to avoid resorting to pettiness. The first one, was out of necessity--so much so that he didn't even realize what it was at first.
He had watched you snuggle up to Shadowheart of all people, just when he thought he'd finally manipulated enough to have you wrapped around his finger. Instead, he had to hear you laugh as you let the cleric lead you to a nearby lake, making him question if somehow, he'd gotten rusty. Especially when the rival in question was clearly too busy having a religious crisis to properly court you. Sure, you technically didn't belong to him, nor did he belong to you at the time, but he went to sleep feeling oddly irritated. He made sure to flirt with you even more, apparently, the next morning.
The second time, he had accepted the strange feeling in his chest whenever he saw you. And Gods he should have done it earlier. He made sure to show plenty of public affection, kissing your cheek or hand randomly as you and your companions explored the shadow-cursed lands. He got a mouthful from Lae'zel a few times, but he couldn't care less. And just when he believed he'd eliminated any potential rivals, the damned druid suggested that you had feelings for him. Here, he felt that same churning feeling he had weeks ago at camp, and found it was one that he didn't long for. He wouldn't have blamed you if you'd considered it--especially since the two of you stopped being physically intimate after his confession. But he could deny how much he hated this feeling. Pretending he hadn't heard, waited for you to approach him that night. When you reassured him you'd said no, he could breathe again.
The last time was weeks later, at Sharess' Caress, where the two of you were approached by the drow twins. And when he'd confessed he wasn't ready to become intimate again, as much as it scared him, you only smiled at him and nodded. That cursed warmth he felt from such a simple act of kindness would follow him to the end of his days. But he hadn't had enough time to revel in it, because the drow twins assured you only you would be enough, even if he wasn't a part of it. The moment you refused, he was already dragging you out of the room, cursing the twins under his breath.
But for the first time, he thinks you're the one experiencing that dreadful feeling of insecurity.
"Your measurements are perfect for this new selection that just came in! Here, let me just check if the rest would fit."
He'd thought little of the harmless touches of the tailor, but as he notices your expression through the reflection of one of the mirrors, he thinks differently. Your lips are pursed, eyes following the tailor's movements like a hawk as you tighten the arms crossed over your chest. Astarion himself is no stranger to touch, especially to innocent ones like this, but if your body language means anything, the sentiments are not mutual.
The tailor reaches up to measure his arm span, inevitably bring their face a little to close to his neck. He just tilts away, nodding mindlessly at what the tailor is saying, but his attention is fully on you. You're fidgeting, and your anxiousness is impossibly obvious to him, but the more mischievous part of him stops him from doing anything about it. Instead, he revels in it.
"Did you get my inside leg?" he asks the tailor, grinning widely. "I think you might have to redo it. I was leaning a bit."
The tailor agrees though all he sees is a nod of a head and a voice in his ear going right through the other. He observes as your face falls, and just as the tailor crouches down and leans close, you're immediately across the room at record-speed, hand latching over the tailor's wrist.
Astarion barely manages to hold in his laugh. His smile, however, is another story.
"I'll do it," you mumble to the tailor. They look to you and back up to Astarion before seemingly realizing what's going on, nodding.
"Very well."
He never thought you could look even more alluring than he already finds you, but the way your jaw clenches and your brows furrow makes him think otherwise. You lean down and take the measurements as needed, stomping on his foot in the process.
He snorts.
Once the tailor leaves for the stock room, he finds you sighing. "You did that on purpose."
It's not a question. He laughs, and while he could just apologize, he takes your hand in his, tilting your head with the other so you'd look at him. He might even consider the glare you give him as cute.
"Jealous, are you?"
"What do you think?"
"I was starting to think you weren't capable of jealousy."
"Why not?" you say, feeling his thumb rubs the top of your hand. "I've been plenty jealous before."
At this, he raises a brow. "I'd surely remember that."
"When we first met," you recall. "You flirted with practically everyone in camp. Saying you wanted to drink from Wyll, or something like that."
"You must know that I was--"
"I know what it was," you roll your eyes. "Not at the time though, and I thought you'd lost interest in me."
His jaw falls agape. "You're jesting."
"Why do you think I started flirting with other people? I figured you didn't like me as much as I liked you, so I moved on. Tried, at least."
"Is that what your visits to Shadowheart were?"
You scrunch your nose. "Oh Gods, I forgot about that. I'd rather not remember sleeping with one of my closest friends, thanks."
He can't help the grin stretching on his lips, and you notice, feeling yourself smile with him. "You're enjoying this far too much, Astarion."
"Please, tell me the next time you're jealous, so I'll know to keep an eye on you."
"Don't ask such ridiculous things," you retort, feigning annoyance before lifting his palm to your cheek and pressing a kiss to it. He swears his undead heart might've felt it. And just like that, the tailor returns, and you drop your intertwined hands, and he sees you shoot him a warning glare.
Acknowledging he's had enough fun teasing you today, he shrugs, and when the tailor begins showing him an array of outfits, he's not listening. Instead, he toys with the ring behind his back, making sure to commit your expression to his memory.
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babushkatty · 4 months
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Tranquil SAGAU - Part 1
-> Part 2
Your isekai trip (or descension, as others called it) into Teyvat was as abrupt as it was underwhelming.
There were no midnight showers of gold and purple, reminescent of the wishing screen you would religiously open every hour or so, hoping to miraculously have 160 primogems to make another pull. No sudden change in weather as Teyvat welcomed you with the eagerness of a golden lab puppy. No sudden meetings of significant and powerful people (vision holders, archons, adepti or otherwise) that would either scorn you or worship you with the zeal of a fanatic either.
No, it was a very quiet and peaceful affair.
You went to sleep in your bed after another mundane day that was more a blur than a memory, only to wake up in the ruins of Old Mondstadt, on the back of a peacefully sleeping Dvalin -- feeling well rested for what seemed like the first time in years, free of the pain poor sleeping positions and even worse body posture developed into.
Old Mondstadt is so much more beautiful than you remember it being in the game, but it was understandable -- it wasn't a game anymore.
The wind sings the haunting melody of Stormterror's Lair as you simply sit on Dvalin's back for hours, at peace with the world and yourself. You forget entirely about the stress of assignments, of deadlines, of examinations stacked unto one another like a house of cards, of trying to fit expectations of your friends and family that you were never made to fit and simply let yourself be.
You breathe.
It was nice.
"All-Mother." Dvalin rumbles from underneath you and it breaks the blissfull trance. He turns his head to look at you, seemingly not minding you being completely sprawled out on his back like roadkill.
"I'm sorry, Dvalin, I think you mistook me for someone." You smile sheppishly.
He huffs, but instead of sounding annoyed he just seemed... Indulgent. It was a good sign to you, who were pretty much at his mercy -- if he wanted to, he could use you as his personal toothpick and you wouldn't be able to do anything against it at all, so it's for the best that the situation doesn't escalate like that.
Then again, Venti did say Dvalin was a gentle child. You didn't see any blood clot crystals on his neck or back, so you were probably in the clear. Worst case scenario, he'd dump you on the ground and you'd have a bruised tailbone.
He made a damn good bed though, you wouldn't mind lounging on him some more if he allowed it.
"You are the All-Mother, there is no mistake. But it is only natural to deny, you do not remember."
He brings his head back and nuzzles you. You quietly melt into a puddle of happiness as he purrs and rubs against you like an overgrown cat.
He was so soft it was criminal. It was like the 'if evil why hot' trend all over again, except this time it was 'if scary why soft' instead.
"Teyvat will remember for you, even when you do not. Your kindness, your warmth, your care - all shall be paid back in full and more, for you are the All-Mother and like any mother, mortal or otherwise, you deserve to be taken care of by your children."
You don't argue, if only because dragons are known for being stubborn. The atmosphere was too nice to waste on a petty argument.
"Do you know how I got here?" you ask instead.
You don't ask about the way back quite yet. You're not sure you ever would, if you were being honest. It just... Felt right to be here, in Teyvat, instead of back home.
In the back of your mind, you quietly wonder if you should feel guilty about not being attached to your old world, to your friends and family, all that much, but you dismiss the notion quickly. Feeling different than what you were taught was normal wasn't wrong, people were different from one another and trying to hold yourself to an impossible standard just because it was the average would only make you miserable.
Your world was slowly growing more accepting towards differences, perhaps in a few decades your emotional stance would be validated as well.
"Teyvat brough you here, that is all I know."
Dvalin huffs against you and you chuckle, a little ticklish.
You both fall silent after that and simple enjoy each other's presence and the ambience of Old Mondstadt.
Dvalin's willingness to simply be, without chatter or interaction, only made your resolve to stay stronger. No one back home understood your need to simply be in a room with another presence, both people doing their own things, everyone called you odd for it.
It was really nice.
"Call me (Name)."
☆(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ* ✨ Author Note✨
I'm bad at naming things and I'm bad at tumblr - perfect combination!
It's a gender-neutral post/series (if I write more), I promise! (Or at least I'm trying my best to write it as gender-neutral, you have full permission to yell at me if I slip up so that I can fix it!)
The term "All-Morher" is not meant to assign a gender, it's meant to compare the Creator of Teyvat to a mother (as I tried to clarify with Dvalin), because mothers bring life into the world and the Creator brought life to Teyvat.
You know, like a mother.
Besides, gods are above something as silly as gender or race *gesturing wildly to Loki giving birth to an 8-legged horse*
I am aiming for a very soft and gentle AU, the terms Creator or Your Grace didn't fit into it at all! Teyvat knows its' All-Mother is an utter softie that doesn't care for religious worship and would rather chill, so its' adjusting to fulfill those preferences -- hence, no grand entrance, no throwing its' All-Mother into the deep end by parking their ass in front of Mondstadt gates and no scrambling to survive.
Just a nice, quiet day chilling with Dvalin.
Fun fact, I have never done the Sumeru Quest and I don't have the space for Fontaine, so that's gonna remain a thing for a long, long while yet.
I don't read the manga either.
We D'ballin, ✨who needs lore accuracy anyways✨
That being said, I am slowly going insane because of the windows in-between subjects at Uni. Who made that a thing? I just want to talk, I promise.
Yell at my bad english, I'm an english major so all yelling is appreciated.
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souliebird · 6 months
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[[and then I met you || ch. 8]]
Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit
Summary:
A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.
pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
Words: 3.9k
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There is a pigeon perched on the streetlamp that sits on the north corner of the block. It's got some sort of stick, most likely, and has been unsuccessfully trying to make a nest for the past hour. Given that the streetlamp is curved, this is a very bad idea, but the bird doesn't know that. The poor things weren't meant to be in the wild and a single stick is not going to save its egg from falling off if it chooses to lay it there. But it keeps at it, picking up the stick and putting it back down at different angles. 
Matt very much understands the dumb bird's struggles. He has no idea what the hell he is doing, either. He felt, finally, after many a year, he actually had his shit together. And sure, maybe it was held together with duct tape, a lot of ibuprofen, and multiple prayers, but it was stable and balanced. He had a handle on things, for the most part. 
He was doing what he loved, in all aspects of his life - defending people with the law and with his fists. He had Foggy and Karen, and he was working more with the Defenders, and he could be in Frank's presence without a fist fight happening. There was a drop in crime in Hell's Kitchen - he'd stopped the last two crime families who had tried to set up shop here before they even had a foot hold. 
Then everything in his universe changed and Matt is now the human equivalent of a pigeon trying to lay an egg on a streetlamp. 
He never thought he would be a father. It was something he dreamed about, in the deep recesses of his mind, but he never thought it would be a reality. Not with Daredevil. But, oh did God love to yank on his chain and remind Matt he had no clue what His plans were for him. 
Matt wouldn't change it for the world, though. Something fundamental in him changed the moment the words had left your mouth and when he met Minnie for the first time, he knew he was a goner. 
He would happily throw himself into the pits of Hell if it would make his daughter smile. 
He wants so much to be a good father. Everything in him aches to be half as good as his own father was to him, but he doesn't know how, and he is terrified of fucking it up. 
Because if there is one thing Matthew Murdock is good at its fucking things up. Especially when he thinks he means well. 
So, Matt is taking in all the lessons God has taught him over the last few years and going against his instincts and he is going to ask for help. 
Foggy and Karen should be at his door any minute, if they stop pausing to talk on the stairs, and Matt is going to tell them everything. 
He hasn't been this nervous in years and he can't stop pacing. He's pretty sure he's going to wear his path into his floor if he keeps going, but he just adds it to all the other damage the apartment has incurred over the years. It's not like he's getting his security deposit back anyways. 
He wants to open his front door and yell at his friends to hurry up, but he doesn't want to alarm them. They know something is up with him, Matt apparently wears his emotions on his sleeve, but they don't know what. He suspects Karen might have an inkling because Karen has an extra sense when it comes to detecting secrets, but Foggy is clueless and Matt doesn't want to worry him. 
He allows himself to stop pacing once they reach his landing and tells himself to walk calmly once they knock on the door. 
He prides himself in not wrenching the thing off its hinges from his nerves and gives his friends a beaming smile, "I thought you'd never make it up the stairs." 
"Oh good," Foggy chimes, clapping Matt on the shoulder as he walks by, "He's still being weird."
"I'm not being weird," Matt counters quickly, only for Karen to pat his cheek when she passes him.
"You're being weird."
He shuts and locks the door before following them into his main living area. Foggy goes straight for the fridge, browsing his beer options while Karen takes residence on the couch. He doesn't need to be able to see to know she's staring at the two big binders sitting on the coffee table. 
"Buddy," Foggy starts, popping three beers open with a hiss of the bottles, "the past few weeks you have been Grade A weird. You keep getting this dopey look on your face and spacing out. And usually," he continues, walking leisurely to the couch and handing Karen her beer first, before giving Matt his, "I would suspect a woman, or a man, because the heart wants what the heart or dick wants, but I know Matt Murdock falling for a girl weird. This isn't that type of weird. And this isn't Daredevil weird, because you get broody when it's that. This weird? I don't know this weird. So, spill Murdock, why are you being weird."
"And don't tell us it's nothing," Karen adds. Her beer sloshes in the bottle, indicating she's pointing it at him. "Because I agree with Foggy. We don't know this weird."
Matt deflates just slightly. He guesses he's been way less subtle than he thought he was being.
"Fine, I've been weird, BUT," he says with emphasis, "It's for a very good reason and I want it on the record that I was not hiding anything or keeping it secret. I was confirming all the facts before presenting my case. I.." he pauses to choose his words carefully, "didn't want to get ahead of myself." 
"You didn't want to get ahead of yourself?" Foggy confirms and he gives a nod. 
The response is for both Karen and Foggy to take long sips of their respective beers. Matt's nerves are too riled up to drink his, yet so he starts to scratch at the label to get the energy out. 
"So, this is Devil related?" Foggy asks. There's a hint of disappointment and exhaustion in his voice and it makes Matt's heart hurt. He has really put his best friend through it, hasn't he? 
"No. Well, yes, but no. It's complicated." Because the Devil is involved by default because it is Matt and it will be something that needs to be addressed down the road, but for right now, no. Not Devil related. 
"That's not very reassuring," Karen points out. 
"Just tell us, buddy. Whatever it is, we're here for you."
That makes Matt's lips turn down, "It isn't a bad thing, Fog." 
"Well, we wouldn't know that because you've told us nothing," Foggy counters.
His instinct is to keep bantering with Foggy and he knows they can go at it for another hour, but he reminds himself of his resolve and settles back into the couch. 
He's practiced his speech about a dozen times but all of it dies in his throat and the truth comes out on its own, blunt and to the point.
"I am a father."
Foggy has the more intense reaction, confirming Matt's suspension that Karen had an idea at the truth. His best friend inhales sharply, heart starting to beat harder in his chest. His body is sending all sorts of signals, and this is one of the times Matt wishes he could see - just to know what expression Foggy has. 
It feels like hours before Fog finally says something.
"You're going to be a father?"
"No," Matt corrects, "I AM a father. I already am."
Karen leans forward, her spine creaking and her hair swishing, "The little girl. From last week. That's her, isn't it?"
Matt nods, feeling a smile start to pull at his cheeks, "Yeah. That was her."
"Oh my God, Matt!" He hears her weight shift as she pushes herself across the couch and right into Matt, loosely throwing her arms around his shoulders. He leans into it, hugging her back with the arm not holding his beer. "She is adorable!"
"She is, isn't she?" He preens. 
Foggy's brain finally seems to process the information and he sits on the arm of one of the chairs, like he needs the support, "Wait, no, that was a toddler, wasn't it? That child was like five."
"She's three. And a half." Matt says as Karen pulls away from him to go back to her spot.
Foggy's bottle of beer sloshes and Matt imagines he's holding up his hands in a mock surrender. "Sorry, three and a half. Plus, nine months that would…Jesus, Matt, that's before we started the firm. The first time."
"Blasphemy, Foggy. And.. Yeah, the Christmas before we started the firm. When we were still at L and Z," he allows himself a sip of beer before diving into his explanation, "That Christmas party we went to, the one good one we ditched the L and Z one for."
Foggy shakes his head, "I was with you that whole night, Matt." 
"Until you ditched me for the French woman," he gently reminds his best friend. 
Foggy goes quiet and he must be trying to remember. Matt can tell Karen is watching like a hawk, keen eyes and ears trying to unravel the whole story. 
"I forgot about the French woman. She ditched me and I guess I assumed you left and…" Fog trails off.
"Well, I did leave, to be fair," he reminds them. "Just not alone."
"Jesus, Matt," Foggy repeats and he lets it slide this time. He'll say an extra Hail Mary for him. "Did you not wrap it up?"
Both Karen and Matt give a bark of laughter.
"Of course, I did. And she was on the pill, but you know that is not a guarantee." 
"Why come forward now?" Karen asks, redirecting the conversation. 
"She didn't know who I was. She says she tried to find me, and she wasn't lying. Then she saw that interview we did and recognized me," he tells them. 
He hears Foggy rub at his jaw and Matt just knows his brain is going into lawyer mode.
"But why did she tell you," Karen pushes, and he can tell she's looking for an angle that isn't there.
He ducks his chin just slightly and goes back to playing with the beer label, "It's not like that. It's not. She wants what is best for Minnie. She wanted me to be aware and have the option to get to know her. She was fully prepared for me to turn her away. She had already signed the forms waiving her right to ask for child support. The only thing she wanted was to know my family medical history."
"Her name is Minnie?" Karen cooes and that warms Matt's heart. He suddenly very much understands your need to gush over your daughter.
"It is. Winifred Love. She goes by Minnie or Mouse," he knows he's smiling like an idiot, but he can't help it. 
"That is such a sweet name," Karen hums and he can hear her smile.
"It is," he agrees, then he tilts his head towards Foggy, his voice dropping to something almost apologetic. "I didn't tell you because I wanted to be sure. She wasn't lying when she said I was the father, but that could have been because she believed I was. And I am. We got a paternity test and I wanted…I wanted it to be official. Real. Before I told you. And now it is. My name is going to be added to her birth certificate. I filed the paperwork and everything."
He can't nail down how Foggy is reacting and that scares him. He doesn't want his best friend to be upset with him, again. He was really, really trying to do the right thing this time. 
Foggy finally, finally pushes himself off the chair and steps around the coffee table before enveloping Matt in a tight hug. Matt hugs him back, just as tightly.
"I'm so happy for you, buddy," Fog breathes against him. The corners of his eyes start to sting, and Matt tells himself he is Not going to cry.
Foggy holds him for a good thirty seconds before letting go and stepping away, "Okay, before we jump into the whole Daredevil -"
"I'm going to tell her," Matt cuts his friend off. He puts his beer down and leans forward to put his elbows on his knees, "Not right now, but I completely intend to. If I can trust her. I think I can, but we've only just really met again. But I've learned. From both of you. I want to do this right. I want to tell her about my senses, first, and then we can build up to the other stuff. Once I am completely sure I can trust her."
Neither Karen nor Foggy respond to him right away and he has the feeling they are having a complete conversation with just their eyes. He waits. He doesn't want to rush them either. Matt wants to go into this with all of them on the same page. It's important to him. 
They are his family, too. 
"Tell us about them," Karen finally says and Matt doesn't even try to fight the grin that spreads across his face.
He tells them your name, then reaches for the first of the binders - the one that is twice the size of the other.
"She's…she's Good. You'll like her. She, uh, made me this, kind of big guide to our daughter. Everything I need to know and it's…in Braille. She knew I couldn't read print, so uh, all of Minnie's life she's been requesting copies of documents in Braille for when she found me." He pushes the binder towards Karen, and she picks it up in a flash, starting to flip through the pages. 
"This is pretty detailed," she hums, before cooing again, "There's pictures. Look, Fog." 
Foggy walks around the couch to stand behind Karen. Matt can tell that even though they are both Happy for him, they are worried, and he more than understands. He knows once he tells them more, that worry will fade. 
He just needs to drop the final off the bombshells. 
He licks his lips, clears his throat, then throws himself into the open, "Minnie is like me. She has my senses." 
They both go as still as they can, taking identical sharp inhales. 
"Not as…intense as mine, I don't think, but she has them. I.. Confirmed it. She could hear an ice cream truck four city blocks away."
"Matt…" Foggy starts and Matt shakes his head.
"We had a conversation, Fog. Clear across the park. I was whispering. She's…she's like me. She was born with it, but she's adapted, for the most part. Her mom just thinks she's sensitive, and she is, and she…she.." he motions with his hand, trying to convey what he wants to say, "Her mom helps. She gets her these headphones to block out sounds and all these things to help her. She just does it, she's doesn't question the why. All those little stupid things that make my life more annoying - the smell of cleaning supplies and how food tastes like the sewer or that certain fibers feel like sandpaper - Minnie deals with those and her Mom does her best so that she doesn't have to suffer. And that's…I need your help." He taps the second, smaller binder. "She made me a guide, so I want to make her one. I just…I don't know how." 
He deflates a little. Over the past two weeks, he's done his best to type things up, things he thinks will help, but he has no clue if any of it makes sense to anyone but him.
"Oh, Matt," Karen hands the big binder off to Foggy, then leans forward to take Matt's hand in her own, squeezing it tightly, "Of course we will help you." 
"We will make the best how to deal with your bat radar guide that has ever existed, bud. You can count on us," Foggy adds, starting to flip through the binder himself.
That evaporates Matt's doubt, and he huffs out a laugh, "I don't think there is another guide, Fog."
"Then we will set the standard for human bat radar guides," Karen counters with mirth. 
"I'll drink to that," his best friend says, once again moving so he can grab his drink. He raises the bottle in a toast, "To the best damn bat radar guide there will ever be, and to Matt, whose man whore ways have blessed us with another him!"
Matt scoops up with beer with a laugh and clinks his bottle against Foggy's, Karen's joining a moment later. 
"To Minnie," Karen adds and that makes Matt beam.
"To Minnie!"
"To Minnie!"
They all take long pulls on their beers then set them down on the table. 
Matt can practically feel Karen grinning at him, "What?" 
"I want stories," she says, reaching over to shake his arm, "You've told us the big picture, I want to know about this little pumpkin. How many times have you gotten to meet her?"
"A few times," he says, unable to hide his own smile. "She calls me Mister Matt. We haven't told her who I am yet. We want her to be comfortable and I…want her to want me to be her father, you know?" He hears both of them nod and he keeps barreling on. "She's…she's perfect. She's so sweet - she loves to use her manners, you know? Please and Thank yous. And she just wants to help, with anything. She's pretty good for a three year old at being a Guide. I'm learning a lot about what she thinks is important."
"What is important?" Foggy asks, and Matt can hear the underlying happiness in his voice and that makes Matt giddy. 
"Colors. How soft something looks. If it has a name and how it's feeling." He grins and adds, "At the park she was telling me how we can't walk in the grass because it's rude and hurts the grass' feelings. And that we can't pick flowers because it takes them away from their families and makes them sad."
Karen cooes, "That's the sweetest thing."
Foggy huffs fondly, "She wanted to pick flowers with you?"
He shrugs and ducks his head a little, "Kinda? She was talking about how to make flower crowns and bracelets."
"Is she going to make you a flower crown?" Karen asks, and Matt can sense her leaning towards him. The teasing in her voice has him guessing she's got her Mischievous look on. 
"Maybe."
"That's so sweet."
"It's so 2014," Foggy adds with his own teasing.
Karen throws one of the throw pillows he's somehow accumulated at Foggy, "She's a baby, leave her alone."
Both he and Foggy laugh and Matt can't help but get his own dig in, "Like you would deny a flower crown from her."
"Damn right, I wouldn't," his best friend bites back. "I'm accepting all flower crowns, hair braiding, nail painting, and tea parties. I am going to be the best uncle she could ever dream of - wait, does she already have an uncle? Do I need to do research? I'll out Uncle anyone."
Matt shakes his head, "No, it's just the two of them. No other family. It seems like a sensitive topic, so I haven't.. Pushed. She hasn't either, but my background is a little more…public?  I haven't told her about Maggie, yet."
The couch groans as Karen leans back into it, sipping again at her beer before humming, "Well, it will be easier to keep your late night activities under wrap. Less people to question things?" 
"That's a way to put it," is the response from his other friend. Matt shakes his head at both their words.
"I told you I want to tell her, once it's safe. I need your help with that, too," Matt pushes himself up and starts to pace behind his couch, "With everything we've been through, all the things we've been working on as a team - and I know most of that is me with all my bullshit and issues." He stops his walking to rub at his jaw, "I know…I know I'm going to be bad at this. I know I'm going to fuck something up. I've done it to both of you countless times. And I can't give up on being the Devil, we've seen how it goes when I try to go either way, so I need to find the balance quick but I can't.." He trails off slightly as the emotions swell in his chest at his self sabotaging this and he has to inhale deeply to keep himself from getting too worked up. "I can't lose them. I can't."
"Oh, Matt," Karen whispers. 
He's so caught up in his own emotions he doesn't hear Foggy get up and actually starts when he's clapped on the shoulder, "Matt, let me say this with my full heart, and I know Karen will one hundred percent agree, and I'm pre-facing this with I love you and you are my brother and best friend, and I think this is exactly what you need me to tell you. If you pull any of the bullshit you did with us with them or anything similar, I will personally drop you into the Hudson. After Karen is through with you."
It catches him off guard, but his best friend is right and it is exactly what he needs to hear. 
"There would not be anything left to dispose of," Karen cheerily adds and Matt doesn't need super human hearing to know she's telling the truth. 
He nods in understanding to both of them, "Thank you." He needs to properly thank them for so many things, but he doesn't know how and all he can do is repeat the words. 
"So," Foggy starts again, squeezing Matt's shoulder before shaking him a few times. "When do I get to meet my newest niece?"
"Once we tell her the truth about who I am to her. I'm going over for dinner tomorrow, to try and be in more everyday things to get her used to it all." He wonders if his excitement about the dinner is showing through. He gets to visit where you and his daughter live and that always says so much about a person. He wants to be let into that bubble. 
"Wait!" Karen gasps, turning more in her seat so she is facing towards the two of them, "If Foggy gets to be Uncle, does that mean I'm an Aunt?"
"Do you want to be?" He asks, because it is obviously a 'yes' in his mind. 
Karen considers this, Foggy narrating, "She's debating on her head, doing the whole tilting it one way and then the next." 
"Oh, hush, Fog! Of course, I want to be!"
This quickly dissolves into playful bickering.
"Aunt Karen has a good ring to it."
"Oh, like Uncle Foggy is much better?"
Matt grins and finds his way back to his seat and his beer. He grabs the bottle and takes a long sip, listening to two of the most important people in his life bask in the glow of their little family getting bigger. 
Maybe, just maybe, he isn't as helpless and lost as he thinks he is. 
Maybe it will all be okay. 
He just needs to have faith. 
taglist:
@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife 
@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt
@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374
@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare @mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @
Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets 
@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt  @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium @
two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend
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thelov3lybookworm · 8 months
Text
Remember me? (Part 2)
Part 1
Summary: Under the Mountain, Y/n met the High Lord of the Night Court, Rhysand. She was scared of him, but soon she found out that he wasn't who he pretended to be. Despite her efforts at not falling in love with him, she fails. It's not that bad as he loves her back.
But now he's gone, and she's left alone with nothing.
Except for a very adorable reminder of him.
•○●⛦●○•
Tw: secret pregnancy, none more that I can think of, so let me know if I need to add anything.
•○🌑○•
Her blood boiled as she watched Rhys talk to her son. Fin nodded eagerly before turning back to the drawing in front of him. She had seen enough when the bastard had the audacity to to hold her son's hand and help him with the painting.
"Fin! I'm back baby!" Y/n announced, walking up behind her son. He looked up smiling as the High Lord went rigid.
"Can I finish this mama? Its almost done." He said, pointing to the paper he was colouring on with crayons. Y/n smiled and nodded.
"I need to talk to someone. You finish it, I'll be right here." And then she had grabbed Rhys's collar and tugged, and he stood without much fuss, following her out the doors and around the corner.
"Y/n–"
"No Rhysand. What about 'stay away from him' do you not understand?"
"You can't keep me away from him forever. He's my son–"
"He stopped being yours the moment you left me and him to fend for ourselves."
"I didn't know!"
"Exactly. Because if you knew, you wouldn't have left and I would never have found out what an asshole you are. And, despite how much I hate you for leaving us, I'm grateful that you did, because it opened my eyes to how distrustful males are. My son deserves better than that."
"She was my mate! Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing." His eyes looked so helpless that for a moment Y/n felt bad. But then she shook her head. She needed to be strong, for her son, and for her own sanity.
"I wouldn't have done that, Rhys. Because, no other love would compare for the one I had for you. I would atleast not have abandoned you without preamble." Her eyes prickled, and she looked away from the male she had loved more than she had loved her own life. "Stay. Away. From. Him."
"How do you expect me to stay away from my own blood? I can't do it, when he'd be in front of me. You can't do this to me. You can't do this to him."
"If him being in front of you is the problem, then you won't see him again."
"What..."
"I was here because someone said that this place would keep us safe from my father. Guess I'll find another court to keep him safe."
"You can't..."
She gave him a hard stare. "I can and I will."
Then she turned and went to retrieve her son. As soon as she entered the art studio, Fin ran upto her, giggling.
"Hello again mama!"
Y/n smiled. "Hello baby. Did you enjoy?"
"Yes! I also made a new friend. Come." He dragged her to where Feyre was sitting, a small boy speaking enthusiastically to her as she smiled. Fin touched the other boys shoulder, who immediately grinned when he turned. "Mama, this is Nyx."
"Hello Nyx. How are you doing today?" Y/n asked, crouching down. She knew exactly who Nyx was, she had heard that the High Lord of Night had a son, but she hadn't wanted to believe it.
Nyx looked exactly like Fin, and it unnerved her. Only difference was that Fin's eyes were so dark they were almost black, and his hair, which was white. Y/n's mother had white hair, and that's where Fin got it from.
Feyre's hand which was resting on Nyx's shoulder tightened, and when Y/n glanced at her, she realised Feyre thought Y/n wanted to hurt him. The both of them maintained eye contact, for long enough that Feyre understood that Y/n would never hurt any child, it didn't not matter that the child in question was a stark reminder that her first and only love had left her for someone else.
"I am good. How are you?" Nyx said, then glanced at his mother to see if he'd said the right thing. Feyre smiled and nodded.
That was when Rhysand stepped into the art studio. When Y/n glanced at him, he froze. When he found her talking to his son, he came to stand next to Feyre, his eyes now locked on Fin.
"Mama, remeber how I said I wanted a baby brother? Nyx's younger than me and I feel like he's my younger brother." Fin said, and Nyx nodded enthusiastically as the two boys started taking excitedly.
The two kids didn't notice that their parents had gone rigid, staring at them.
Y/n glanced at Feyre, who stared at her, her eyes swirling with emotion. Y/n swallowed before smiling. "That he could be. But can we talk about it some other time? Is getting late. We need to go home."
"Okay mama. Bye bye Nyx." Fin waved at Nyx, who waved back.
Before they could exit the studio though, Feyre walked upto Y/n.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know you two were–"
But Y/n smiled, shaking her head. "Its okay. It's not your fault he's an– a bad person." She barely stopped herself from saying asshole. Fin peeked at her curiously as she said goodbye to Feyre, patting her shoulder, before walking out.
•○🌑○•
Y/n stared fondly at her son as she and Fin sat on a bench right next to the Sidra. They were in an ice cream parlour's outdoor seating area as Fin happily licked away at the treat in his hands.
It had been a week since they had gone to the High Lady's art studio. He had expected to go there again, but Y/n didn't trust Rhysand, and so Fin had given her an offer. She had to let him have ice cream for a whole week without restrictions and paint with him if she didnt want him to go to the art studio.
Y/n had, of course, agreed, shaking her head at her sons antics. That little boy was smart, and he had somehow picked up on his mother's unease around Nyx's father.
After she had agreed to his terms though, he had laughed and said he didn't even want to go there again and just wanted her to agree to his demands. Y/n had gaped at his little figure as he ran off to play with his toys.
While Y/n was busy with her thoughts, she didn't realise Fin had finished his ice cream and was now staring at someone nearby.
Y/n realised it was a male, who leaned against the railing and was making faces at Fin, who giggled. He had red hair and amber eyes, and he was easily the most beautiful man Y/n had ever seen. She smiled. It was heartwarming that a stranger would do something to make her son happy.
"Mama, he has red hair." Fin stated, making her blink.
"Yes darling, he does." Y/n muttered as she cleaned his face of the sticky dessert, wiping his hands down. "Why are you telling me that?"
"I have not seen many people with red hair." He said before jumping off the bench and running towards the exit. He was halfway to it when he tripped over his own feet.
Y/n shot up, running to him. But before she could get to him, the stranger was already helping him up.
"You shouldn't run. You'll get hurt." The red haired male said as he brushed down Fin. Y/n reached them just then, crouching next to the male.
"Are you okay? How many times do I have to tell you to not run." She murmured, clutching her son to her chest. When he pulled away, there were fat tears running down his chubby cheeks. "What happened? Did you get hurt?" He nodded, pointing to his knees, which had scraped and blood seeped from the tiny cut on it. "Oh my poor baby. We'll get you patched up, yeah?" He nodded again.
"I don't think you'll be able to walk very nicely with that wound. Let me help you." He suddenly picked Fin up, standing.
"It's okay. I'll take him. " She stood and turned to the male, who shook his head.
"Please, I'll be happy to help."
Y/n knew it was dangerous to trust someone who she just met, but for some reason, she felt like she could trust this male. So she told him that her house was nearby.
During the whole walk, she stayed silent, studying the man, who was talking to Fin as if his life depended on it. She felt like she knew him somehow, but that would be impossible.
Soon, they were at the apartment that they lived in, and the man dutifully handed her son back to Y/n.
"I don't think I caught your name."
"Eris." He smiled, looking for any reaction on her face.
She wracked her brain for something, anything that she might know about an Eris. And then it clicked.
"You're the High Lord of Autumn Court. What are you doing in Velaris?"
He shrugged. "I was allowed entry due to an alliance with the High Lord. First time visiting this place."
Y/n nodded. Then she said goodbye to Eris, turning to go into her apartment when Fin waved to him, smiling. "Bye bye."
"Bye Finnian."
"Will we meet again?" Y/n froze, staring at the little kid in her arms before glancing at Eris.
"I sure hope so. And if your mother allows it." He said, his eyes twinkling and curling at the edges.
Fin cheered, before Eris bowed and walked away, hands in pockets. Y/n watched after him, wondering for a moment before entering her house.
She knew if Fin met Eris again, he would be very happy. She hoped they would, as she wanted nothing more than her son's happiness.
And somewhere, deep inside her soul, something ancient and primal would also be happy, but she didn't know that.
The ancient and primal thing which had begun to come out of hiding, slowly but surely.
•○🌑○•
Taglist: @awoa1 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @luvmoo @we-were-beautiful @eerievixen @zoe2 @fussel9913 @j-pendragonx @thesnugglingduck @jesssicapaniagua @devilsnightz @esposadomd @littleffawn @mandowhatnow @bubybubsters @eos-princess
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izels-writing · 10 days
Text
s. black — how you get the girl [1/2]
*idea was given to me by @sunny-prongs !! <3
Pairing: sirius black x fem!reader
Summary: sirius has no idea how to get the girl this time.
Warnings: i actually suck at writing flirting, slightly ooc sirius?, i accidentally keep making all these gryffindor!readers so i apologize,
PART ONE, PART TWO (coming soon!)
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you weren't quite sure someone had made you feel so many emotions at once the way sirius black did. even when he'd enter the room, the ínstense emotions you'd experience being in his general vicinity was absolutely mind-boggling. not that you'd ever admit it.
sirius black was the one boy at school that everyone wanted, even if they didn't admit it. he was funny, he was unbelievably handsome, and he was admittedly smarter than he gave himself credit for. and dear god, did he know it...
the boy didn't exactly lack confidence—matter of fact, he may have too much of it. but that didn't matter, because everyone believed that yes, he deserved that confidence in himself. he earned it. he could breathe in someone's direction and they're instantly melt—he was inconceivably charismatic and likeable. even the professors admitted it so.
yet, the only person who didn't seem to think so was you.
not because you desired to be different from everyone else—because, unfortunately, you found him handsome as well and you found yourself day dreaming what it would be like to be loved by him. but because you saw the way he treated the girls he had flings with. you saw the way he'd be so indifferent to their attachment and infatuation with him. more noticeably, you noticed the way he never bothered to keep a consistent relationship with any girl he managed to seduce—if that was even the right word for it.
you didn't want that. you had seen so much of it growing up. you couldn't bare it in a potential romantic partner. so, you didn't. you didn't allow him to see the way you found yourself glancing at him, you didn't allow him to see the way you'd quickly walk away when he did something gentlemanly like hold the door for you, and you certainly didn't let yourself react to his many compliments.
and unfortunately for you, though you didn't know it, you were the one person he wanted that he couldn't have. not for lack of trying, but because you wouldn't allow yourself.
he watched you from afar, mischievous grey eyes following your every move—in a curious, desirable way. nonetheless, you looked at him for a split second before turning to resume your conversation with daniel mckinnon, marlene's older brother.
"anyway, you should talk to her, i'm sure she'll understand," you told daniel. he chuckled and sighed.
"i suppose so, thanks y/n," daniel smiled. he went to say something else, but he glanced behind you and bid you a kind goodbye—all before walking off.
you were left confused, until you felt a presence by your ear, likely because of the loud music booming around you. it was difficult to hear in the common room which held a celebration for the gryffindor quidditch team.
"he's always been good at taking hints," a silky voice whispered in your ear. immediately recognizing it, you turned around and raised an eyebrow at the eldest black brother.
"yeah, he is—something you lack apparently," you replied, glaring at sirius challengingly.
sirius grinned. "oh come on, princess, you can't be that way with me. you look great, by the way, is that a new dress?"
you glanced down, smiling slightly at the fact that he noticed. then you came to your senses and rolled your eyes, "i bought it last week, thanks," you replied monotonously.
"of course, doll," he smiled. you rolled your eyes, but he never faltered. you supposed there was an admirable aspect to it.
you took a sip of your drink, before looking up at him. "what do you want, black?" you demanded.
sirius laughed. "what makes you think i want something? what if i just wanted to ask how you were doing?"
"but you don't," you corrected. "which raises the question, as per usual..."
"fine, how about you let me dance with you...and if things go well, let me take you on a date next weekend?" sirius suggested, brushing loose hair from your face behind your ear.
you had to admit to yourself, he made you incredibly nervous. he was suave and handsome, and just the perfect amount of flirty without being uncomfortable to be around. he had a thing with calling you pet names that normally you'd cringe at the mention of, but when he said it, they didn't sound so bad. and dear god, when he subtly touched you, you felt like melting into the ground. nonetheless, you knew this was just part of his strategy to sleep with you. you'd seen it with other girls he interacted it, perhaps not to the extent he did it with you, but he certainly did it. you had to keep reeling in your common sense.
"in your dreams, sirius," you scoffed. quickly, before the other part of you could take it back, you walked off and immersed yourself into the party.
sirius watched you walk away, smirking like he had actually gotten you to say yes.
——
you waited patiently for your friend marlene mckinnon to return from quidditch practice before heading up to your shared dorm. normally, you preferred to be in your own room and on your own bed—but marlene hated being alone in the common room, as she was easily scared despite the tough facade she put on in front of dorcas.
a quick patter of footsteps rushed over to you, before they finally sat beside you. the boy, who you quickly and unfortunately recognized, kicked his feet up on the coffee table and put an arm on the couch, so that it was almost around you. you sat back and turned to him, narrowing your eyes at him. sirius grinned happily at you.
“you’re like a lovesick puppy, you know that?” you scoffed, crossing your arms. you knew it was all an act, but you could help the feeling of happiness it gave you knowing that he only really showed you this type of attention.
“only you bring out this side of me, did you know that?” he attempted, but you rolled your eyes and looked away momentarily. unfortunately for you, you turned to look at him again and your (e/c) eyes met his grey ones. and dear god, they were easy to get lost in.
“where’s your boy band? usually you four are attached at the hip,” you asked, genuinely curious despite your nonchalant tone. he smiled at you before replying, counting off the three in his fingers.
“remus is doing his prefect duties, james has quidditch practice, and peter is on a date,” he replied. “leaving me, all on my lonesome…with you, of course,” his smile brightened the room and it seemed like he knew it.
“surely you have something interesting to do,” you commented, liking the fact that you could at the very least have a conversation with him.
“none as interesting as you,” he grinned.
you chuckled. “okay, that was smooth, i’ll give you that one,”
“what’re you doing down here anyway?” sirius then asked, looking curiously at the book in your lap. you closed it, finding that perhaps a genuine conversation with him was worth having even despite the flirtations.
“waiting for marls, she hates coming into an empty common room,” you replied. “creeps her out,”
he smiled. “you’re a good friend, you know that?”
you turned to him curtly, smiling back at him—genuinely smiling back him. “thank you,” you replied.
your faces were inches away from each other, if even, and you couldn’t help but feel the slight tension. you wanted to pull away, you really really did. at the very least, he hadn’t tried anything.
he brought a tattooed hand to your face, pushing a hair behind your ear. he almost leaned in—or maybe you were imagining it. but then, common sense kicked you in the head and you cleared your throat.
quickly, you stood up and gathered your things. every nonsensical part of you wanted to stay and see where it would lead, and the other logical part of you knew better than to be so naïve. sirius was only interested because you had been so difficult to get, after he got with you—you’d just be another girl to him. you and any other girl at this school did not deserve that.
“yeah, i can’t do this,” you mumbled. without another word, you rushed up to your dorm. in your wake, you left a confused, mildly hurt sirius black on the couch. he could still smell your perfume and your bright smile was burned into the back of his brain like a prayer.
and for a moment, he thought what it would be like if he actually got to kiss you.
——
“i don’t understand,” marlene mumbled, stroking your head as you laid on her lap. you were feeling very dejected and upset after the whole sirius situation. “if you like him, and he more than obviously seems to like you, what’s stopping you?”
you sat up, situating yourself to look at marlene with a dejected look. “the principle, marls! you’ve seen how he treats every other girl here, these are nice girls who he would be lucky to have as his girlfriend! how do we know he won’t treat me the same? how do we know he actually likes me the way i like him?”
marlene sighed. “yeah, you have a point—i just hate seeing you so conflicted and upset, boys are so dumb,” she shook her head. you laughed, nodding in agreement.
“what if i talk to james?” marlene suggested. “if there’s anyone who knows him better than himself, it’s james,”
you groaned. “but then he’ll know i have a crush on sirius! and then he’ll tell sirius, and then sirius’ll know i have a crush on him!”
“true,” marlene huffed. “straight relationships are impossible,”
you laughed, shoving marlene. “shut up,”
——
“pads, maybe you should actually sit down and tell her how you feel,” james said offhandedly as he tinkered with a music box that lily gave him to fix. the two had only been dating for a few months, if that, and already it seemed like they have been together forever—in a good way, of course.
sirius, who had dramatically sprawled himself on the bed, lifted his head up to look at james. “what?! are you crazy?!” he exclaimed.
remus scoffed. “what’s so crazy about that? james did it and now he and lily are great together,” he closed his book, looking at sirius and waiting for his response.
“because…those are real feelings! i mean i’d have to explain everything to her, how i feel around her, everything and i just…no, it’s too gross,” sirius sighed. “of course i like her, i’m in love with her actually! but i can’t just tell her!”
peter and remus exchanged a look before peter quipped up, “so you’re afraid of rejection and vulnerability and commitment?”
sirius looked up and glared at him. “what? nuh uh!”
“yuh huh,” peter replied.
“nuh uh!”
“yuh huh!”
“nuh uh!”
“yuh huh!”
“face it pads, you have issues with commitment, rejection, and being emotionally vulnerable,” james shrugged, continuing to tinker with the music box.
“james and peter are right, that’s why you’ve never had a girlfriend—well, that and you’ve been in love with y/n since our second year,” remus added, raising an eyebrow at sirius.
“shut up,” sirius grumbled.
“you’re going to have to get over that if you want to be with her, marlene’s told me why she won’t go out with you—and frankly i don’t blame y/n,” james said.
sirius scrambled up from his bed, practically jumping onto james’ to sit in front of him. “they talk about me? what did y/n say? what did she exactly say?”
james shook his head. “you’re going to have to figure it out for yourself, i won’t betray marlene’s trust,”
“prongs, please! you’re my only hope!” sirius exclaimed.
“no, marlene told me in confidence,” james replied. “ask her yourself,”
sirius grumbled. “fine…”
“you are the most dramatic person i’ve ever met,” remus chuckled, “and mary once cried over breaking her nail, granted it had taken her a long time to grow out—“
sirius glared at remus, making the werewolf quickly shut his mouth.
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owliellder · 8 months
Text
The Finer Details
Post DI! Leon Kennedy x f! Painter Reader
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MDNI 18+
(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)
Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..
Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔
Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare
Author Note: I wanna say there's some pretty descriptive talk about depression in this chapter, just as a heads up. Anyways, it's my weekend and I'm going to be absolutely zooted every single day so the next chapter will most likely be out Monday morning PST lol.
Cross-posted on AO3
Session 3: Blocking In Color
It was nearly three weeks until you saw Leon again.
You tried to call him a couple days after he'd left that day, a few more times over the following week, but to no avail. The man was unreachable.
Even though you did your best to convince yourself that you just wanted to get his painting started, "It was an important one", you knew that you were really just worried about him.
You've seen this kind of dismay with the other retired agents that've had a portrait painted in the past, but they at least recognized what they'd been through.
Leon hasn't. You could just tell.
Looking over the sketches you made of his face, you couldn't help but wonder what exactly he'd been thinking about the last time he was here. He seemed so bothered, acting like he was hiding it so well, too.
Then again, you did drop a rather large bombshell on the guy while he was in a pretty vulnerable state, but you thought he knew what the portrait he was going to receive was suppose to mean. Again, most of the retired agents you'd seen were similar to Leon in that regard and even they at least had a basic grasp on the finality of it all. So why didn't he?
You nursed your bottom lip, still staring at the sketches laying in front of you while you sat at one of your desks in the corner. You normally don't come to your workspace unless you're actively painting, yet you'd shown up everyday in hopes Leon would randomly pop in. He seemed like the kind of guy to just kind of show up, anyways...
If you had just gotten a picture that day you've could've at least started working out the positioning for his portrait. Unfortunately, he wasn't in any position mentally to put up with anymore of your shenanigans at the time, it seemed.
You really did try your best to get ahold of Leon, eventually giving up a few days ago. You'd already emailed the President, who had been the one to personally commission you unlike with previous ex-agents, letting him know that it's going to be longer than expected. Thankfully he was understanding, knowing rather well how much the whole retirement thing was weighing on Leon.
You'll come back tomorrow and try again. Even the next day, and the day after that if you have to, and so on and so forth.
Guilty. That's all Leon felt right now.
He's been shelled up in his house since the moment he got home after leaving your building, withering away by the minute.
He hadn't showered, barely eaten, only ever really pulling himself from what little comfort his room offered to grab whatever bottle he touched first in the cabinet. Leon didn't care, just as long as it was something.
Chris had been over a couple times after he stopped responding to his messages, doing his best to get him out of the house. Claire had been over a few times more than her brother had, bringing groceries once she'd heard about the sad state Leon was keeping himself in.
It broke both their hearts, but they could only do so much for him. Leon was stubborn, head strong, he wasn't the kind to sway to many forces. He had somehow gaslit himself into thinking he was doing well. "Just peachy", even.
Clearly that wasn't the case, both Chris and Claire could see that. They'd have to be blind not to.
Having been in contact with Leon's government-assigned therapist, Chris tried to set up an at-home meeting for him one day. That turned out to be a disaster seeing as Leon was bordering on blackout drunk and could barely keep his eyes open. Not to mention the vomiting.
Claire even tried to bathe Leon. She only got far enough to wash his hair in his kitchen sink, using his vomit-covered mouth as an excuse to keep him over the sink long enough to shampoo his greasy, stringy hair.
All of it was weighing on him too much. He felt so guilty for making his friends feel like they had to babysit him, ignoring everyone's calls and messages, your calls and messages. That kind of thought process quickly spiraled into him reliving the worst days of his life, having to through suffer so many flashbacks and nightmares, not sleeping because of it. He rarely ever felt safe enough to get under the covers on his bed.
None of this is what he wanted. If it were up to him, he'd start all over; be twenty-one again, work as a cop, maybe get promoted a few times, find a girlfriend, start a family, have a normal life. Why couldn't he have that?
Staying awake night after night, Leon would stare at the ceiling in his bedroom and fantasize about the wonderful life he could've had, the happy memories he could've made. It would make him weep, longing for something that never could've been.
Instead, Leon was stuck with endless images of horror, death, and gore every time he blinked, and oh was he bitter about it all. So bitter, so angry, so...
Feeling sorry for himself was all he could do now. Sure, he killed all those monsters and zombies, saved all those people, not once did he think about himself through the years. Now he had all the time in the world to question and wonder, and having to think about himself and what he wanted most made him feel like a needy, greedy bastard.
But wasn't he allowed to be greedy, if only just a little? He had wants, needs, and though he wanted so desperately to change his past, he knew he couldn't. So, what did he want now? That, he didn't know.
Guilty for feeling this way, guilty for wanting different, guilty for wanting anything good for himself.
It took the better part of those two weeks for Leon to finally muster up some form of energy to stumble into his bathroom and shower one afternoon, dizzy and nauseous. The light emanating from the rest of his house was blinding, not having even bothered to close the shades he had on any of his windows. His room was kept a cave and that's where he stayed.
Leon now found himself sitting down in the shower just like before he'd decided to retire, only this time it was mostly to keep from slipping and dying. The last thing he needed anyone to see was him naked and dead in the shower. Embarrassing.
His thoughts at the moment were shallow, still pretty drunk from his bender, head lulling back and forth a bit as his vision spun. He was finally hungry again, the heat from the shower making that all the more obvious as he grew lightheaded, but he didn't know what he wanted.
After managing to actually crawl his way out of the shower, he dug through the pile of dirty laundry at the end of his bed, finding a pair of boxers that didn't smell too terrible to put on.
Leon used the wall heavily for support to walk out into his kitchen, muttering curses under his breath at just how bright it was. Opening his freezer, he stared at the meal prep containers left by Claire, grabbing one to attempt and read what she'd wrote on the sticky note attached to the lid.
That's right... She made him little meals, even putting them in the freezer so they didn't go bad as fast. All he had to do was put it in the microwave.
Simple enough, he could do that.
The one he chose was meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Just the sound of it had his stomach rumbling and his mind craving the comforting taste of a home cooked meal.
The first few bites in made Leon feel nauseous again, but once those bites hit his stomach the feeling immediately gave way to just how hungry he actually was.
He tried to pace himself, he really did try, yet he managed to devour the food in front of him in a matter of minutes, only pausing every few seconds to breathe. It felt so good, something warm in his stomach. Filling in all the right ways. Once he finished, he pushed the empty container away and just laid his head down sideways on the cool countertop, closing his eyes as he let the food settle.
As much as he wanted to degrade himself for acting this way, reducing himself to such a weird and pathetic state, Leon didn't have the mind to. All he knew right now was that the warmth that the meal Claire made him. Not to sound cliche, but he genuinely believed he could taste the love cooked into it.
For the first time in what was now two and a half weeks, Leon was awake and alert when Chris and Claire came over again. He'd eaten everything Claire made, holding all the now cleaned containers out to her. It was a silent plea for more, and lucky for Leon, she had just made another grocery trip for him.
Unbeknownst to him, Claire had been cooking here at his house. This entire time he thought she'd been bringing the meals over, assumed to be leftovers from cooking for her family. She did confess to hoping the smell of the food cooking would pull him from his room. It didn't, much to her dismay, but now she was just glad he was up and eating again.
As soon as Leon tried to apologize for dragging her away from her family, she was quick to shut him down with that mom stare she'd developed after having her kids. It worked, especially on him.
Chris was busy chatting up Leon while Claire cooked him another set of meals for the next week. It was hard to converse, but Leon did manage to nod and him as the other man talked about some random encounter he had the other day while out driving.
It was strange to feel so lively again. Those thoughts still clung to the back of his mind, though all he could focus on were his friends taking care of him like one of their own. Leon feels like he's been a terrible friend lately, seems as though the siblings standing in his kitchen didn't feel the same. He wasn't showing it, but Leon was definitely holding back a smile.
A couple hours had past, Chris opting to stay with Leon and eat lunch since Claire had to head back and help her husband with something.
The hug Claire gave Leon was phenomenal. After the hug he shared with you he's been craving that physical contact more than ever, so finally getting another good squeeze from a friend was boosting his mood.
Chris and him sat, ate, and talked about whatever came to mind, eventually asking about you.
"How's the painting coming along? Do you like the painter?" He smiled, looking at Leon with wide, curious eyes. That man always had a smile gracing his features.
Leon shrugged, taking a sip from the water he poured himself not too long ago. He was pretty dehydrated after solely drinking alcohol for the past couple weeks. "She's alright. Haven't started the painting yet."
Chris raised an eyebrow, placing his arms on the counter and crossed them as he leaned forward slightly. "Just 'alright'?" he emphasized the word "alright" with air quotes, which caused Leon to scoff.
"What else do you want me to say? I've seen her twice so far and its been fine." Leon lifted his hands up in confusion, palms facing the ceiling as he watched the man sitting next to him rolled his eyes dramatically. "C'mon, she was amazing for Claire and I- Okay, how about this..."
Chris repositioned himself so his entire upper body was facing him now, leaning in a little closer to ask another question. "Do you like the room she works in? Cause I thought it was pretty comfy. When she was focusing on Claire's part of the portrait, I took a nap over on that rug she had. All those pillows mixed with the classical music knocked me the fuck out."
He laughed, shaking his head at memory before looking over at Leon again. "So...? And don't lie to me, I saw that pillow on your couch."
Leon sucked on his teeth and hummed, glancing over his shoulder at his couch. "It's cozy, yeah." He brought his head back forward, patting his hands gently against the counter.
The two chatted for awhile longer before Chris eventually had to leave, giving Leon a firm pat on the shoulder while shaking him a bit. After he left, Leon was left to sit alone and think again, only difference now is he felt better. He was crazy tired, his social battery quickly drained from having his friends around, but he felt good nonetheless.
He wasn't ready at the time, yet after a sober night with solid sleep, Leon woke up the next morning and decided to just text you, hoping you weren't mad at him. Calling would've been too much at that moment, not even have listened to the voicemails you left, or anyone's, for that matter.
His chest felt tight after sending the text, but it was quickly eased about ten minutes later when you responded with nothing but enthusiasm. The smiley face you added at the end of your message made him smile, quickly wiping it away with his hand.
Your next session was arranged two days ahead of time in the late afternoon. Leon wanted to give himself enough time to recollect since he needed to look his best the following weeks. You told him it was time to start with the main painting, which you still needed a picture for.
During that time he finally shaved his stubble, went out and got his hair trimmed, tackled all the laundry he'd neglected, and got his best suit dry cleaned. All thoughts aside, he felt good and wanted to stay this way.
Needless to say, Leon was jittery when he pulled up to your workplace again. He was finally letting himself feel excited again about this painting. If it's anything close to what Chris and Claire's portrait is, then that excitement will only continue to grow the further along you get.
You were already there waiting for him at the door, a gentle smile on your face. That wonderful soft perfume that he missed reaching his nose once more as you lead him up the stairs and through the other door. Chris was right, if he had the opportunity, he'd take a nap on your rug. It looked mighty comfy.
Leon was thankful you didn't ask any questions on his whereabouts, he wasn't ready to talk. You were just as excited as he was about getting the painting started, if not more. Watching you eagerly move back and forth between the larger easel and your desks was a refreshing sight to the man.
You stood at your easel for a couple minutes, just silently looking from the blank canvas to where he was sat. You told him to get into a comfortable position, prompting him rest his right leg on his left knee, leaning back and to the side so he was sitting at a slight angle, arms resting on the chair's armrests.
You stared at him for a few seconds, tilting your head side to side with your eyes squinted. "Let me just-" you spoke in a hushed voice, walking over to Leon before cautiously reaching out to rest one hand on the underside on his chin while the other hovered over the side of his face.
You weren't an idiot, you knew what his absence was from. So you made sure to be careful with him, knowing he was probably still pretty fragile. Only gentle and cautious touches for Mr. Kennedy.
So close yet so far. His skin tingled in your hands wake, and god he hoped you couldn't notice his blush.
You could, but you wouldn't say anything. Besides, you weren't faring well yourself, hands a little shaky as you touched his face.
Leon just let you move his head to whatever position you wanted, his eyes now half-lidded as you had walked back a couple times to get just the right angle. You pulled away for a final time with a small "aha!" and he wished you would hold his head for just a little longer.
The floor where your easel sat was marked with an 'X' made with painter's tape, making it easy for you to stay in the right spot for the photo once you pushed the easel out of the way.
"Don't move." You held your hands up after analyzing his position, quickly hurrying over the corner opposite of your desks to grab a bulky camera that sat atop a tall tripod. You worked as fast as you could, knowing as long as you had a picture with him in this position then this whole process would go so much smoother.
You didn't even have to ask Leon to smile or look up at the camera since he was sitting there with a rather dopey smile, his eyes remaining trained right on yours. Nice and natural. He looked relaxed which is exactly what you wanted.
Just as a precaution, you took multiple pictures, giving him a thumbs up once you figured you'd gotten enough. His head back to rest on the chair at the okay, listening to the sound of you walk over to your laptop after untwisting the camera from the tripod. You printed out 3 copies of the photograph and taped one to a stand you had brought over to sit next to the easel, making sure it sat eye level to you.
The ball was finally rolling, now having what you needed to start with the main sketch. When Leon lifted his head up, he noticed that you were ready, sucking in a sharp breath through his nose while he shifted a little to get back in just the right position.
You twirled your pencil between your fingers before beginning to roughly sketch out the chair, eyebrows furrowing as you focused. Leon could see your expression, how intensely you zoned into your work. It was incredibly admirable and he found himself fully content in just watching you do your thing.
It didn't take long before you had sketched out his general shapes, now walking over to take the sketches you made of his face out of your sketchbook to clip up right next to the reference photo. The more finer details would be added later, but you wanted to get just the basic shapes of his face.
That didn't take long either, because before Leon knew it, you were telling him it was okay to talk. He was pretty animated with his hands when he talked, so you kept him quiet until now.
"Am I easy to draw?" Leon spoke with an almost sultry tone after a few seconds of you telling him he could speak. It threw you off only a bit, carding your fingers through your hair as you took one step back to look at what you had so far.
"I wanna say yes and no." You responded, catching his questioning look from the corner of your eye. "You're easy to sketch out, yes, but your hair is giving me trouble." You could hear a low chuckle rumble from his chest as you stepped back forward. "Hey, you asked." You laughed back.
"I know, I know." He shook his head with a poorly hidden grin, tilting his head down to try and hide it a little better. You immediately pointed your pencil at him, not taking your eyes off the canvas. "I said you could talk, not move." Your sarcastic tone made him chuckle again, slowly lifting his head back up with a sigh.
"Yes, ma'am." You could just hear the smirk in his words, causing you to let out a sigh of your own.
By the time the sun had started to set, you had blocked out all the simple colors for the painting. Right now, it just looked like a very bland and abstract painting. It'll come together, slowly but surely. Trust the process, as people say.
Leon was in awe already, having stood up to look at your progress as you washed your hands over in the small bathroom. Oil paints smeared something fierce and as much as you loved your job, you did not want feel oily at home.
"It already looks stunning." You heard the man say from where he stood in front of the easel. It wasn't quite registering in his brain that it was him on that canvas just yet, but hopefully soon it would.
He wanted to recognize himself in something as wonderful as your art.
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ddollfface · 2 months
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𝐀 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙢𝙖 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 (Pt.1)
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Warnings; bad writing, possessive behavior, really ooc (I'm 90% sure that I missed the mark on this one), this is pretty short, yandere if you really squint ig. If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Oml, tumblr's being a little bitch right now, I literally cannot right now. I'm going to repost Pt.1 and Pt.2. I'm so sorry, I have no clue as to why I have a word limit rn... Just know that this is super ooc :/
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Okay, now that I've established Jack's background and overall interactions with reader, like how their initial meeting was, etc, we can now get into what it's actually like with Jack once you've known him.
Jack isn't obsessive necessarily, like how Katsumi or Ali Jr are, instead he's more so protective, possessive even. Since the two of you have gotten close, he's realized that he doesn't want you to leave him. You can't leave. This is the first time he's ever felt such an attachment for someone, felt such emotions for someone.
Throughout his life, he's always been determined on one goal: defeating his father. And he's never even given a second thought to some woman or to having a family. Nope, it's never even crossed his mind, but seeing you with another man just doesn't sit right with him, seeing you converse and smile with someone else. It just makes his hand itch, feeling the need to punch someone creep up his neck.
That smile belongs to him, him, him. You're only supposed to smile at him. He only smiles around you, so shouldn't it be the same for you? Why do you seem so close to this guy? He looks like a stick, Jack's sure that he could snap him in two, no doubt. He could take care of you far better than this shrimp ever could.
Much like an animal, Jack gets territorial over what he's deemed to be his, and you're his, don't you understand? Jack will begin to take up all your time, conveniently interrupting any dates that you have with another man. He'll show up to wherever the two of you are and loom over the man, silently telling the twig to buzz off. Of course, the other wouldn't stick around, too scared to face the beast of a man Jack is.
But you being you notice how you can't keep a single man, that isn't Jack, around no longer than a week. You'll begin to get skeptical. Not necessarily questioning Jack because it's too early to make assumptions, but you're keeping an ear out for any odd behavior.
Anyways, moving on to another headcanon.
I don't think Jack would be very touchy in public, clearly not too comfortable showing such vulnerability around others. Jack won't hug you, won't kiss you, and won't hold your hand. If anything, he acts like he's a stranger, someone you've never spoken a word to, but that's far from the truth. You know this.
And you don't need the PDA, you're fine. You can tell by how he looks at you, how his honey-brown eyes seem to soften ever so slightly, barely noticeable. It's as if he's speaking a thousand words with just one look, and this is the pillar of your relationship. The two of you are connected on a different level, though you both view this connection differently.
Like most Baki men, this is where the yandere tendencies come in. I feel that the majority of Baki men would be able to have a healthy relationship with someone, but it's when their feelings are reciprocated is when everything goes downhill. It's when they're devalued as a man and completely ignored, being pushed aside just to be chosen for someone else.
This is where Jack's possessive tendencies appear, seeing you with other people just sets him off, especially when he perceives you as undervaluing the connection you two have. I think that Jack would have to have a special type of relationship with you for him to become "yandere." He'd have to see you bonding with others, bonding the same way you did with him. This will surely make him feel as if you're using him (you're not), and that your relationship with him isn't special.
Once a sliver of doubt has seeped into his mind, all sane thoughts are out the window. Now, he's running on his instincts, and they're telling him to take you away to somewhere safe, somewhere where the two of you can be together, forever.
At first, when these thoughts pop up, he's in denial, his rational coming into play, and telling him to not do anything too crazy. Sometimes, it's hard to do so, especially when he sees you interact with others, laughing, and smiling with other fighters. How can you be so open with others? Treat other men so kindly when he can't even look at a woman without thinking of you?
What do they have that he doesn't? No, he has more. He knows when you look at him that he's your one and only, he can tell. The way your eyes glimmer and scrunch up when you smile, the smile lines becoming more apparent.
He can't let go of you now; he's in too deep; he's far too stubborn to give up now. The two of you are bonded, in his eyes. You understand him, and he understands you. You've just gone a little astray, don't worry he'll help you, just like you did with him.
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flowercrowngods · 11 months
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part 1 | part 2 | part 3 (these make one big story, you won't understand this part without the others)
day 04: here come the tears
a/n: the people have requested a surprise eddie pov and i have decided to pull a eurovision and ignore the public vote, just a little bit. but you get a tiny eddie pov, as a treat 🤍
Steve is crying. It's 1:07 a.m. and Steve is crying. And there is nothing Eddie can do about it as he's lying in bed, his heart breaking further with every passing second that they lie there in silence, quiet sniffles carrying over the phone. 
Steve is crying and Eddie is breaking. Steve is not talking to him and Eddie is breaking. Steve is not okay, and neither is Eddie. They're both breaking. 
And Eddie doesn't know what to do about it, how to fix it. How to make it better. How to tell Steve that he misses him, how to ask him to talk to him, how to keep him. To stop him from slipping through his fingers further and further until all there is is silence. 
"You know," his mind wanders back to years ago, his heart cracking at the memory. "I had the biggest crush on him for the longest time. Forever, really."
He remembers the way Steve's eyebrows shot up, his eyes round with... shock? Surprise? Or maybe something bad? 
"Oh?" 
"Yeah," Eddie had chuckled, fiddling with the straw in his drink to give his hands something to do. "Remember that kiss?" Steve nodded. "Well." Another chuckle, awkward this time, and possibly too revealing. 
Steve grinned at him, a self satisfied smirk that wavers just a little. "So you're saying you did fall madly in love with me, Munson?" 
Eddie's breath had hitched a little because Steve remembered those words so perfectly that had since doomed Eddie completely. But he covered it up with a laugh so easily, he was sure Steve didn't notice. 
"Maybe," he grinned. "But eh, that's in the past." 
It wasn't a lie; not really. But wasn't the truth either. 
The truth was that Eddie had moved on. The truth was that it's the kind of crush that was never really a crush. The kind that is a Forever more than anything else. 
The kind that will always be there, a flame burning inside my chest that carries your name and keeps it alive, keeps me warm. The kind of flame that will always be ready to become a bonfire again. Just say the word, Stevie. It's written in the universe. Say the word and I'll be yours. 
"Good," Steve said after a while, and Eddie remembers frowning, remembers that he wanted to ask what that tone was, what Steve was thinking. If he was worried or disgusted or felt betrayed that Eddie's been so hopelessly and helplessly in love with him. 
But all he said was, "Yeah. Remember Chrissy? We're kinda official now." 
And Eddie had known then just as he does now, that he'll be a happy man with Chrissy. She's his best friend, a sunshine on bleak days. She's no Steve, but she makes him happy. He had to move on from Steve – to try – and allow himself his own kind of happiness. He'd never expected to find it with Chrissy, but he loves her so much. He's grown to love her in the past years – not the movie kind of love, not the all-encompassing Steve kind of love, because that flame inside his chest can still only carry one name. 
But life is not a movie. And love is not always a fire. But he's still warm, still content, still happy. And so is Chrissy. She knows about his flame, says she understands. Eddie thinks he has one of her own, but he never asked; just held her that night, creating more of that silent happiness.
…Is he happy? Lying in bed, listening to Steve's quiet breaths that are barely audible over the phone, remembering the kiss, the confession, the Forever that he tried to move on from, he wonders what he's doing. Wonders if that contentment is worthwhile if it somehow lead him to losing Steve. 
Did he miss something? Did he fuck up without realising? 
He can't ask; Steve won't talk. 
All he can do is lie there and feel that flame that still carries Steve's name after ten, eleven, twelve years scorching his insides. 
All he can do is wonder if the whispered, "Good night, Stevie. I miss you," is some kind of goodbye. All he can do is lie awake all night and wonder where they started losing each other. 
~*~
Missing Eddie is worse than loving him. Missing Eddie makes it feel like all the heartbreak songs are written for Steve and his pain that will persist.
It’s been three months since the engagement party, and the sharp, biting heartache that cut into his lungs every time Steve tried to take a deep breath has dulled now, turned into a constant ache, an emptiness, the sorrowful traces of where an I love you turned into an I miss you. 
He’s barely talking to Eddie anymore, and with every passing day he just misses him more. 
Steve types the words I miss you over and over and over again, but never hits send. Just stares at them, wondering if Eddie knows. Wondering if he’s doing the right thing. He isn’t. There is no right thing. Nothing is right. Not without Eddie. 
He scrolls up in their chat, past Eddie’s questions if he’s okay, past his very own I miss yous, up and up and up to the strings of hearts, to the inside jokes, to the gentle teasing, to the You’re my favourite persons, to the happiness and joy and good, good times. 
He scrolls and scrolls until his phone vibrates and tells him there’s a new message in the chat. Steve frowns, his hollow heart racing as he scrolls down again to see Eddie’s new message. 
Eddie Munson: — Can I come over? 
Steve frowns. 
— why? are you okay? 
Eddie Munson: — No. — Nothing is okay. You’re gone and you’re not talking to me and I miss you and I’m losing you and I don’t know why — I dont know anything. — I just wanna know, wanna talk, wanna understand — I wanna fix this. I fucked up, I think, and I wanna make it better. — I need to talk to you — Please. Please can I come over 
Steve swallows hard, as he reads the incoming messages over and over again, watching the little bubble that says Eddie’s typing still. Watching as it disappears and reappears, reading until his eyes begin to sting and his vision is blurred with tears for the first time this week. 
Letting them fall as he types, 
— no. please dont 
Eddie doesn’t reply to that, and Steve breathes out long and hard, throwing his phone to the side, not caring where it lands on the couch as he slumps over to the other side, turning up the music even louder. 
Oh, can you tell I haven’s slept very well Since the last time that we spoke. I said, ‘Please understand I’ve been drinking again And all I do is hope.’
It consumes him, this song and the way it was written for him. The way it was written about him. Because he has no right to ask Eddie to stay. He’s the one who’s leaving. He’s the one not telling Eddie what is wrong, why he’s pulling back so suddenly. 
I’m not strong enough for the both of us. What was I supposed to do, You know I love you. Please, stay.
Please stay. Please, please, please stay. It’s about him. It’s about Eddie. About them. 
And Steve listens to it over and over again, not caring that his neighbours will know it by heart by know, will be so tired of him wallowing for weeks and months, and will come knocking soon. He doesn’t care, not when Mayday Parade are singing, All the love’s still there, I just don’t know what to do with it now. 
He types that into Eddie’s chat. Doesn’t hit send. Sends it to Robin instead, and gets a shaking hands emoji in return. It makes him smile as he re-starts the song. 
~*~
That night, he wakes around 2 a.m. to a missed call an hour ago and one new message on his mailbox. He lifts his phone to his ear with shaking hands and bated breath, a pit opening in his stomach when he hears the Judas Priest song that’s been in his Sad Eddie playlist since the beginning. 
His heart cracks open when he hears Eddie’s sniffle, a heavy sigh, and another sniffle, followed by a little, Fuck. 
“Stevie? I’m… You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to just— to just disappear. To slip through my fucking fingers, or float away like a— a dream, when you wake up, and you wanna go back to sleep because it was a good dream, and you— I don’t wan’ you to be a good dream Steve. You’re like… Fuck, man!” 
Eddie’s voice is breaking, and so is Steve’s heart as his hand begins to tremble and he sits up in bed, closing his eyes, squeezing them shut because he doesn’t want to see the world as Eddie’s rambling at him. 
“I miss you. I miss you so much, and I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t… I don’t wanna miss you. How do I get you back, Stevie? Please just… God, please just talk to me. I’d do anything for you, you know that. Just tell me, just say the word. Just… Just say the word, please.” 
There’s silence after that, only Judas Priest’s Here come the tears over and over as the song is ending. Steve is crying as he listens to Eddie’s silence. 
“Just. Just… Please, Stevie.” 
The call ends then, the line cutting to the staticky voice instructing him to save or delete the message. Steve saves it. He doesn’t know why. 
He also doesn’t know why he’s scrolling through his contacts with trembling hands and hits Call when he reaches Eddie. 
The call doesn’t even get to the second ring before it’s picked up already. 
“Stevie?” Eddie sounds breathless, wild, and just a little hoarse. Like he was still crying. 
“Hi,” he says lamely, still shaking, a little breathless himself, and with absolutely no idea what he should say. 
“I’m… Hi.” 
Silence falls, and Steve wipes at his eyes. He’s still in bed, just sitting there with his phone pressed to his ear, and the ball that’s coiled inside him is growing larger and larger with each passing second that he doesn’t say Sorry, that he doesn’t say I miss you, too. That he doesn’t say I love you. 
“Can I come in?” 
He blinks, the question throwing him off his thought spiral. “Huh?” 
“I’m sort of… outside your building right now.” 
Why, he wants to ask. No, he wants to say. You’re gonna see, you’re gonna know, you’re gonna hate me forever. 
“Okay,” he breathes and climbs out of bed, blanket around his shoulders despite the summer heat, because suddenly he’s freezing. He buzzes Eddie in, listens to him on the phone as he walks up the stairs, neither of them thinking of hanging up, and opens his doors with shaking, trembling hands. 
tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @imzadidragonfly @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript (sorry if i missed anyone just give me a shout if i did <3)and thanks to everyone who said nice things about this 🤍🌷
come back tomorrow/later for [redacted] | read here
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bucketsofmonsters · 1 year
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The Witch’s Apprentice - Part 4
cw: demon summoning,  prolonged isolation, more tags will be added as the story continues
male demon x afab reader
Word count: 4k
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4  Part 5 Part 6  Part 7
You woke up wrapped in Lucien’s arms, his tail coiled up your leg. 
You couldn’t get up if you wanted to. Not only were you trapped by a cuddly demon, your exhaustion was overtaking you. Your limbs felt like they were made of lead and your brain was attempting to lull you right back to sleep. You were convinced you could sleep here forever if you allowed yourself to. 
Which was exactly why you needed to get up. This place was dangerous, you couldn’t let yourself get too comfortable and completely succumb to it. 
As you started to rise, the demons arms around you tightened, pulling you closer to him. 
“Lucien,” you tried to call out but your face was smashed into his chest and instead it came out as an incomprehensible mumble. 
It was still enough to wake him, his grip on you loosening as he came to. 
You slipped out of his grasp, although his tail followed you to your new position standing beside him, curling right back up your leg. 
He looked up at you with a smile. “What are you doing up so early?”
“How long did I sleep?”
“Not long. Maybe fifteen hours.”
Your eyes widened. “Fifteen hours?”
“Relax, you needed the sleep. I wouldn’t have let you sleep forever, I only do that to the annoying ones.”
“Glad to know I was in such safe hands,” you said with a roll of your eyes and a playful smile. 
You looked back at him expecting to see that same wry smile as always on his face but instead his face had gone stony, his eyes darkening. 
“You have a decision to make,” he said, all the teasing gone from his voice as he rose to his feet, towering above you.  
His black eyes bored into you, asking you to make a choice about something, what it was you weren’t sure. 
“I don’t understand,” you said, searching for clues in his face but it looked nothing other than weathered and exhausted. 
“I’m being summoned. Time plays differently here but I can only stretch away from it for so long. So, what will it be?”
It didn’t feel like much of a decision at all. 
“Well, that means I’m going back. Of course I’m going back, what else would I do?”
“You could go somewhere else.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere. Anywhere but there.” His voice was low and breathy, almost sounding as if he was pleading with you. 
“She’s my friend. That’s my home.”
“It’s your prison. You're free now, you’re out and you’re asking to go back.” His voice increased in volume as he spoke, hints of anger tinging his words. 
“Just because it is your prison does not mean it is mine. I want to go home.”
Creases formed between his brows and you couldn’t tell if they were from worry or anger. “And if I won’t take you?”
You reeled back at the suggestion, a bolt of fear running through you. 
You tried desperately to put more force behind your words, needing him to listen to you. “Take me back. Now.” 
In the back of your mind you were terrified that he'd leave you, that the unthinkable would happen and you’d be locked away from Eden forever.
He wasn’t surprised by your response. You could tell that much. If anything he looked overcome with dread, 
“Don’t say I didn’t try.”
His hand wrapped around your arm and suddenly you too could feel a distant tug pulling at the both of you. 
Without the adrenaline running through you this time, you got to actually see the change happen. The room around you faded away slowly, like a mirage you’d gotten a little too close to.
For a second you were nowhere. You didn’t even see black, just true nothing in all directions. Your stomach flipped and you leaned closer to Lucien, part of you terrified of being trapped in this void. 
And then everything faded back in and you were confronted with a familiar face. 
The second Eden laid eyes on you she grabbed your arm and yanked you out of the circle. You looked back apologetically at Lucien, the treatment feeling absurd after everything he’d done for you. 
Lucien’s gaze had hardened once more as he looked down at your witch. 
Eden’s focus wasn’t on him at all. Her eyes raked over your body, nails digging into the skin of your arm, like she was afraid you might slip away. Or maybe like she was afraid you might step back once more, back over the line she'd just pulled you from.  
“Are you hurt?” she asked frantically. “Did he hurt you?”
When she finally spoke, her voice was shaky and guilt pierced through you. You’d been off fucking around with your new favorite demon and she’s been panicking. You wondered how long she’d been like this, what she thought had happened to you. 
You pushed past her iron grip, throwing yourself towards her, arms wrapping tightly around her midsection. You buried your head in her neck, her familiar scent bringing waves of comfort to you. 
Her arms hesitantly wrapped gently around you but you could tell she was still looking up at him. 
As soon as your embrace loosened she pulled you behind her, putting herself between you and Lucien. Ultimately it was a futile gesture, he couldn’t reach either of you out here, but it seemed almost instinctive. She just wanted to put a barrier between the two of you and as much as you’d grown to trust Lucien, it made your heart swell. It awoke some unquenchable instinct, to throw yourself into danger to see if she’d come running. 
But there were more important things to attend to. You glanced around at the undamaged cabin, looking exactly as you’d left it. The only change was the new summoning circle beside the old one you’d broken. 
“You’re alright?” you asked. “They didn’t hurt you.”
Now that she had established that you were safe, she seemed uninterested in engaging with you. The question was ignored in favor of turning toward Lucian. 
“You’re a despicable man,” she said with a sneer. “What did you even gain? They’ve done nothing to you.”
 “You don’t understand,” you insisted, trying to get through to her. “He saved me.”
She regarded him with no less disdain at your declaration of what he’d done for you. 
You butted in once more, refusing to back down, not this time. “He didn’t do anything wrong, I owe him my life.”
Eden snapped, her head turning towards you as she stopped ignoring you. “We cannot do this right now, not in front of him.”
“When else? You said all he wanted was to hurt us and he saved me, how is that not substantial to you.”
“He did not save you,” she shouted.
You drew back at her harsh words. “What? No, he did. I don’t know what happened here but…”
“How many times have I warned you about demon trickery? This is exactly why I wanted to be there, why you two never should have been alone. How long did it take before he managed to make you break the circle.”
“He didn’t make me do anything, he protected me!”
“There was no threat. This was all a mistake, I never should have shown you all of this, you’re not built for it. Trusting you with it was a mistake, I’ve gone soft on you.”
“You’re wrong,” you insisted, eyes flicking to Lucien looking for help. He stared back silently, watching you from the sidelines.
“Am I? Then why was there no one here when I returned?” Eden asked. “Why did this dangerous threat do nothing to the cabin? What explanation do you have other than what is right in front of you, what you refuse to see because your heart is bigger than your head.”
“To what end?” you insisted, refusing to back down on the issue. You were not the fool here. There were gaps in what happened, sure, but her story was not flawless either. “He’s done nothing to me. He created a ploy to what, keep me safe and bring me back unscathed?”
She scoffed. “I don’t pretend to understand the machinations of demons. But neither, frankly, do you. At least one of us understands that.”
“You’re wrong.” It didn’t make sense, it was based on nothing but faux ideas of monsters and you wouldn’t stand for it. Not when he’d just saved your life. 
Lucien chose that moment to butt in. “She’s really not.”
Eden looked up at Lucien with wide eyes, seemingly wondering how things had gone so badly that she was on the same side as a demon. 
Both turned against you, despite everything. 
When Eden turned back to you she looked a little sick, less confident than you’d ever seen her before. “You’ve done so poorly you turned a demon honest. I would be impressed if I weren’t so disappointed.”
“It doesn’t make sense. He was kind, he didn’t hurt me.”
“All in service of some greater plan, I’m sure. You’ve heard it from his own mouth now, surely you don’t need any more hand-holding. The truth is right in front of you.”
“But then why would he tell me?” Your eyes flicked up towards the demon, the one you’d put all of your trust in for days. “Why would you…” You trailed off, dread pooling in your gut, a sickening bile of betrayal bubbling up inside of you. 
Lucien refused to meet your gaze, his face stony and unreadable. You wouldn’t have noticed so much if it hadn’t been such a shift from what he’d begun to show you. 
But maybe those emotions were fake too, another performance he was putting on. Another trick you were too stupid to see through.  
You’d been wrong, dangerously wrong. You couldn’t trust your judgment anymore, never should have in the first place, it seemed. 
Eden seemed to take your silence as acceptance, quickly sending Lucien away, 
The second he disappeared she turned to you, some of that manic energy from when you’d first returned appearing back in her face. It seemed she’d been hiding it from him, keeping it just under the surface. 
Both of them seemed so good at their faux emotions, Eden’s confidence, Lucien's performance as your rescuer. Maybe this was a skill you were supposed to have, maybe you were the odd one out. 
Eden’s hands gripped your shoulders, fingernails digging into your skin once more, clinging to you like a lifeline. 
“What did he say to you, how badly did he get through to you? He’ll try to lead you astray, to put you in harm's path. He’s a liar, you can’t believe him.”
“He didn’t say anything, he was just… nice.” And he had been. You couldn’t see the signs of this scheme that they both seemed so convinced were obvious. 
You could tell Eden didn’t believe you. She rarely did even before all of this, you knew it would be a long long time before she ever did again. 
The pressure of her nails subsided, leaving a dull ache of pain where their imprints remained on your skin. 
She pulled you along a familiar hall and you didn’t put up a fight, still caught up in trying to make sense of everything. 
You barely realized what was happening until she was guiding you to sit on your bed, pushing your hair away from your face and looking down at you with sad eyes. 
“This wasn’t your fault,” she said. “I should’ve known not to let you near all this. 
The reassuring graze of her fingers against your cheek faded and you heard the lock on your door click. 
“It will stay this way until you show a sense of self-preservation, alright?” she called through the door. “I will permit a lot of things but I will not allow you to hurt yourself.”
You collapsed back onto the bed with a sigh and heard her walk away, not waiting for an answer. 
With nothing better to do with your time, you ran through it in your head over and over and over again. Hours passed and you just lay there, turning the events over in your mind. 
The signs they’d both pointed to didn’t track, they didn't lead to anything. You couldn’t combine them to a point where they would make sense. If this was a trick, why had he told you the truth when you’d been so convinced? If it was to harm you or Eden why did he keep you safe in his home and bring you back here? You might not have been the best bargaining chip but you would be a good piece of leverage against her and instead here you were, locked back in your room, where you are no longer useful to him. 
None of it made sense. 
Right up until you stopped thinking about him as Eden’s type of demon, an unthinking force of evil trying to do as much damage as possible. 
Because there wasn’t any other perspective you could see. He didn’t hurt you because he didn’t want to. He didn’t hurt you because he saw someone who was scared and alone and couldn’t help himself, just like Eden had done when she found you all alone in the woods all those years ago. He didn’t hurt you because, as much as he might protest, some part of him cared. 
And, once more, he wouldn’t hurt you. 
You were betting your life on it. 
You didn’t have the materials for a summoning circle in your room but it didn’t matter. All you needed to be able to do was get him in here, you didn’t need protection from him. 
Honestly, you didn’t want the protection. You were convinced that the warding gave him something to hide behind. As long as he was locked in there, he could claim that he was a monster, that he would hurt you given the chance. 
Take that away and you’d find out what he would really do, one way or another. 
The summoning spell wasn’t long. All you needed to get him here were the words, everything else was to keep you safe or to keep him bound. 
The second he saw you, his eyes widened. You could practically see the gears turning in his head as you smiled softly up at him, giving him a little wave. 
He did not wave in return. 
His gaze dropped slowly to the floor, staring blankly as the seconds ticked by. He seemed baffled by the blank floor beneath him, trying to comprehend what could possibly be happening as you waited patiently for him to react. 
Finally, his gaze rose to meet yours once more. 
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked. 
“Nice to see you too.”
“Genuinely, what is wrong with you? It's not a rhetorical question, I would love an answer.”
You shrugged. “I’m not sure. You should ask my witch, she’s got some theories.”
“You’re going to get yourself killed,” he insisted and you couldn’t help but think that he and Eden might actually get along if it weren’t for the fact he was a demon. They seemed to have a lot of similar ideas. 
“Well, nothing has happened yet. Do you intend on killing me?”
“I could do anything to you, you couldn’t stop me.”
“I’ll take my chances.”
The longer this went on, the more relaxed you became. This man had no intention of hurting you, that much was more than clear. 
“I should kill you right now,” he said with a growl, one that you didn’t even have it in you to pretend you found frightening. The both of you had long since passed that point. 
“Why?”
“Because I’m a demon. That’s what we do.”
“And yet here we are and I remain unharmed. So it seems demons are more complicated than that. Either that or you’re a shitty demon.”
He couldn’t seem to fight back a smile at that. “Yeah, well you’re a shitty witch.”
“I’m not a witch. A witch-in-training at most, although something tells me the training is not going to happen again for a very long time.”
“My bad,” he said, and you could almost detect a hint of sheepishness in his tone. 
“I know how you can make it up to me,” you said leaning forwards towards him from your seat on the bed. 
His head cocked to the side. “And how is that?”
“Tell me why you did it.”
He groaned. “You and your why’s. I’m not telling you anything.”
“Fine,” you said, “I’ll give it a shot then. Do you know what I think? I think you never imagined I’d break that warding. You were just trying to scare me or prove some point about me or whatever and then I broke the warding and you didn’t know what to do. I think I ruined your little plan and when confronted with someone who was scared and who trusted you, you helped them. Who wouldn’t?”
“Cute little story you’ve spun yourself.”
You shrugged. “It’s what I would’ve done.”
“You would’ve created a commotion to scare the shit out of a witch-in-training?”
“No, but testing someone? Trying to prove the very worst? Seeing when push comes to shove, what will people do? That’s not demon scheming.”
“Yes it is.”
“It’s really not. Seems more insecure than anything.”
That got a real hearty laugh out of him. “Oh, does it now?”
“At least that’s what my witch says when I do it. Do little tests and push at things to see if she trusts me. I mean, I’ve never made her fear for her life but she’s never trapped me and made me do anything so I think we have different levels of frustration.”
“She doesn’t believe in you,” he observed and you wondered if he was just now coming to understand that.  
You rolled your eyes. “Who would?” 
The question hung in the air and you could feel him waiting, wondering if he should answer it. 
You took the choice away from him, asking a question of your own in return. “When was the last time a human trusted you?”
“A long, long time ago, little one. Not to say I haven’t earned my reputation.” 
“I don’t know. You seem pretty trustworthy to me.” 
“You’d be surprised.” He looked down at the bare floor below him once more. “You know, there’s nothing stopping me anymore. I could take you away, let you leave this place.”
That caught you by surprise. “What? No, I… I can’t”
“Why? Because of the woods? I could take you right past them. There’s no way you’ve never wanted to leave. Come on, I could even take you back after, you don’t have to be imprisoned here.”
“This is my home,” you insisted. 
“What the fuck has she done to you? You could leave, right now, go anywhere. I’m offering you the world, one trip, no fees, no fine print. I never do that, you’d be a fool to refuse it.”
“She hasn’t done anything to me. She just wants to keep me safe.” At the end of the day, it always came back to this with the two of you, Eden forever being the wedge between you. 
“The little warden has you playing good little prisoner. I’m honestly impressed. And they call me manipulative.”
“Stop it. I know she’s wronged you but-”
“But? There is not but. She is a monster and you’re trapped in her web just as much as I am.”
“She is a good person.”
“Maybe you’re too far gone. I don’t know if I can help you.”
“I don’t need help,” you said. 
He opened his mouth to insist you did or tell you once more how much of a monster your savior was but you dismissed him before he had the chance. 
Without the warding, he could have stayed. He could have clung to this plane easily but he let you push him away and once more you were locked alone in your room. 
It took a long time to fall asleep. Your conversation with Lucien kept swimming around and around in your head. 
Eventually, exhaustion got the better of you and your room faded away to another familiar place. 
It hadn’t even been a full day since you’d left and Lucien’s room was just as vivid as when you’d been standing in it. 
He was there too, looking down at you with that hungry look he’d gotten in his eyes on occasion, when he thought you weren’t looking. 
“I’m glad you came back,” he said, walking over towards you, his hand moving under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “It gets boring around here without you, I could always use a sweet little thing to play with.”
Your face warmed and you managed to stutter out, “I… uh…”
You heard a chuckle from behind you and dream Lucien dissipated in a puff of smoke as you stiffened. 
You whipped around to see Lucien again, a notably more real one, leaning against the wall. “Pity. I wanted to see what happened next. 
Your face burned, glad dream Lucien left before he could do anything particularly embarrassing. 
You folded your arms with a huff. “Are you just going to invade all of my dreams now?”
“Maybe. If they’re all as fun as this one was gearing up to be then you can sign me up.”
You clamored for a retort but came up empty, ending up just sputtering and then staring at him all while feeling as if your cheeks might melt and your heart might beat its way right out of your chest. 
He chucked again. “Relax. It’s sweet. Next time I’ll try and come in later, you could use some stress relief.”
You might actually spontaneously combust. “Please say you came for some reason other than to embarrass me,” you pleaded. 
He shrugged. “Just came to talk. Embarrassing you was an unexpected bonus.”
Next time you saw him in the non-dream world you were going to throw something at him.
“Talk about what?” you asked, desperately trying to change the topic. 
“We ended on bad terms earlier.”
Oh. That. You’d almost prefer he keep on humiliating you.
“Did you come to apologize?” you asked, trying not to sound too hopeful. 
But nothing could ever be simple with him. 
“You know,” he said,  “there’s lots of different reactions demons have when humans summon them, trap them, make them do their bidding, all that nasty business. Some get violent, some get tricky, some have given up and are just filled with despair, following along until they’re finally free. There’s no right reaction to this sort of thing, not really. But there’s one kind that we all hate, the real traitors. Because sometimes there is no fighting back, no despair. Sometimes they just happily fall in line. It’s certainly safer that way, I can’t fault anyone for listening, but to do it happily? And sometimes, eventually, they don’t even need to be forced. They just go along with it, anything for their little masters.”
“I don’t understand.”
“No, I didn’t think you would. I won’t push too hard, you’re clearly not ready for that, but you witch is a very, very bad person.”
“She just doesn’t understand you. I’ll make her understand.”
“At least you're going to try. That’s something.” He spoke with a halfhearted smile, his mind clearly elsewhere. You wished more than anything you could read him, that you could understand what was going on in his head. 
“Of course I am. And she will understand, I’ll make her see that you’re not a threat, that she shouldn't be summoning you.”
The sadness written across his face was clear, with hunched shoulders and a furrowed brow betraying him as he stared down at you. 
Finally, after staring intently at you, contemplating something as he mulled over your words, he said,“Thyme.”
“Excuse me?”
“You didn’t have enough thyme. That’s how I can get in here. Most witches use way more than necessary just in case but you tried to make it exact and it fucked you over.” 
“Oh. I didn’t want to use more of my witch’s stash than I had to.”
“One of these days someone crueler than me is going to come along and that mindset is going to get you hurt.”
“I’ve been fine so far. Why did you tell me, if I fix it you can’t get into my head anymore.”
He shrugged. “Figure it out.” 
“Is it an apology or another trick”
“What do you think,” he asked with a smile. He enjoyed this, giving you little pieces of information and seeing what you’d do with them. 
“An apology,” you decided.
“Your witch would call that foolish,” he informed you, as if you weren’t already intimately familiar with the idea. 
“She already calls me foolish, might as well trust my instincts if it’s going to happen anyways.”
“I don’t know what I’ve done to make you think I’m so good-intentioned.”
You laughed. “Yeah, because you’ve been so cruel to me”
“I tricked you,” he reminded you, as if it had just slipped your mind. 
“And then you took care of me when I proved you wrong.”
“An outlier. You caught me off guard.”
“How?”
“Because you fell for my trick.”
“Oh, is that so? Maybe your expectations of me were too high. Do you think me foolish now too?”
“Maybe. I’m not entirely sure what to think of you.”
The room snapped out of existence as you woke with a jolt at Eden banging at your door, some food having already been slipped underneath it. You considered asking her to bring you more thyme but thought better of it. You didn’t think you’d be needing it anytime soon. 
800 notes · View notes
im-sleepdeprived · 11 days
Text
Crazier • Pt. 2
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wc: 8.8k (but totally worth it i PROMISE)
pairing: mcu!peter parker x reader
a/n: part two is here! she's a little long but i swear i've never had so much fun writing and editing a fic so i promiseeee its totally worth it !!! i love this one so much so please pleaseee let me know what you think ! i love talking to you guys (i feel the need to tell yall this is totally a PETER x reader fic you’ll understand but DONT WORRY ITS JUST FOR PLOT BRO)
warning: literally nothing, a few f-bombs, and kids going psycho (in the best way) at school
read part 1 here
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The weird, auto-tuned, voice startled you and made you turn around, wiping your eyes so you could see clearly. When you saw who it was you rubbed your eyes again for good measure because there was no way. 
"Huh?" you said meekly, mentally slapping face palming for acting so dumb in front of New York's hero. 
His head tilted and his masked face shifted in what you could only guess was a grin, "I said can I walk you home? It's pretty dark and I don't really trust the streets and, trust me, I would know. Plus, your crying and being distracted is really dangerous."
"I'm not crying," you were, in fact, crying. It was obvious to both of you. Your red eyes and pink stuffy nose, despite trying to fight the tears so you could get home, only came in harder. 
"Ok well I'm just gonna ignore the fact that you're totally lying and ask again, can I walk you home?" despite there being a weird robotic tinge to his voice, you thought he sounded desperate. Plus you didn't really think he'd take a 'no' as an answer. Or if you were even allowed to give him that answer, he was a superhero after all.
So you nodded and his entire posture seemed to relax when you hadn't even realized he seemed tense. Wow, he must take his job seriously. You started walking, silently leading the way as he followed right beside you. 
"Can I ask why you're crying?" 
"You just did," you replied flatly not really meaning to sound so mean despite the tone you had used. 
You sighed, "Shit, I'm sorry Mr. Spider-Man, here you are being all nice trying to make sure I get home all right and I'm being a total ass." 
"No it's all right, you don't have to answer if you don't want to I just wanted to make sure everything was alright," his tone was soft, and somehow, despite not knowing him at all, you felt like you could trust him. 
"I broke up with my boyfriend," you whispered and you weren't really sure if he would catch it, but he did. 
"He must've been real stupid for you to do that, huh?"
You laughed. "God yes," your humor died down and your face fell, "but he was a great boyfriend, y'know, just...before he wasn't."
You passed the cafe that was near your apartment building when he asked, "What'd he do that made you snap?" 
You were silent for a minute, debating whether you should answer that or not when you finally stopped in front of your building making him pause beside you as well. 
"Well we're here," you slapped your hands together as you stood there awkwardly. 
"Yeah, yeah. Um, maybe we could chat again sometime, totally friendly, of course," he added the last part rushed, waving his hands slightly. It made you laugh genuinely this time. 
"Sure bug boy, I hang out on the roof a lot." you could actually use a friend to talk to after today. "If you're ever swinging by and you see me, you should stop to say hey."
"Really," Peter felt weird, you two had always sat on your apartment roof together, climbing up from your fire escape. And now he'd never get the chance to do it again. Not as Peter at least, but here you were inviting Spider-Man to hang out with you again. 
He decided he'd take what he could get. 
You smiled slightly and turned around to go inside when he spoke up again, "Wait how does tonight sound?" He asked, and if you didn't know any better you might even say he sounded nervous. That only made you smile more. 
"Tonight sounds great," you said., "Oh. And thanks for walking me home. I really appreciate it." You shoot him one last smile before finally turning around and getting inside. 
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Despite it being dark on your way home, it wasn't that late, it was just winter. You started your homework and worked swiftly, not giving in to any of the distractions you usually did. You wanted to be completely free tonight. Maybe befriending Spider-Man would help improve your grades too. 
When the clock struck 9 p.m. and your parents went to bed, you closed your door and silently locked it before walking over to the window and pushing it open. 
You grabbed a book and headed up, deciding to read until he got there. It was freezing despite the big sweater you were wearing. After waiting five minutes and him still being a no-show, you decided to go make some tea. 
Making your way down, you made two mugs of tea as quietly as you could without waking anyone in the apartment. It didn't take long and soon enough you were carefully making your way up the fire escape again, trying your best not to spill any of the hot liquid. 
While you were focused on steadily moving so you didn't spill your drinks, you didn't notice the masked hero sitting on the ledge. 
"There you are," his voice startled you but, miraculously, the tea didn't spill, "I've been waiting for like, forever." You had a feeling he rolled his eyes. 
"Oh shut up," you handed him a mug, "I was just up here dumbass. But it got cold so I decided to make us something hot." 
He used his free hand to put a finger on his chin, tilting his head, as if in thought, "Having trouble deciding if I should be offended you called me a dumbass or flattered that you made me a cup of tea."
You laughed out loud and he felt his heart flutter, the sound a nice contrast to the yelling that had gone down between you two earlier that day. 
"Wait so I never got your name," he asked in fake interest. Obviously, he didn't need you to tell him. But you didn't know that. 
"Y/N. what's yours?" you asked innocently and it was his turn to laugh. "Ha! Nice try," he joked and you just shrugged. 
"Whatcha reading?" He pointed towards the book you had brought up with you, "Business or pleasure?"
You laughed, and grabbed the book, "Definitely pleasure. It's my favorite actually. I've read it too many times to count."
His heart fell a little. Your favorite? How did he not know that? He remembered the cover though..or maybe just the color scheme of it. The more he thought about it the more he realized he didn't really remember the book at all. God, he really couldn't blame you for ending things. 
"Can you tell me about it," he asked softly. He loved it when you went on about a topic you loved and all the facial expressions and hand motions that came with your storytelling. 
"Are you kidding? I can write a 20-page essay about this book," you scoffed lightly, "but I really don't wanna bore you so it's okay." 
"No way! I asked, so how would you bore me. Tell me about it, maybe I'll pick it up from the next bookstore I pass."
So you did. You went on and on about certain themes that stood out to you while reading, and how important some lessons were. You showed him your annotations and notes and he realized you really weren't joking about the '20-page-essay' quip. 
He loved the way you were so passionate about the subject and all the thought you'd put into this. But seeing you like this made him realize something, it'd been so long since you'd been like this with him. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't really remember the last time you'd gone on one of these little rants with him.
Some time while you were talking you'd both finished your tea (him only pulling up his mask to the tip of his nose, taking a sip, and quickly bringing it back down. he didn't wanna risk anything), setting the cups far to the side. 
He let you finish before talking, "Wow that's a lot to take in, am I the only person who's been fortunate enough to have this wisdom passed onto them?"
You laughed, "Kinda, yeah."
That shocked him a little, at least if you hadn't shared it with him he thought you might've talked about it with MJ. He might not have known much (apparently) but he knew how much you loved to talk about a book after you read it, whether you liked it or not. And the fact that this was your favorite and you'd read it multiple times and hadn't shared it with anyone was weird to him. 
"Really? How come? Are your friends not into reading," he asked, trying to be subtle. 
You just shrugged, "I don't really have friends," he made a sound of disbelief which made you chuckle before continuing, "I mean obviously I have friends in the traditional sense of the word but I'm not close enough with anyone to just speak my thoughts like that, y'know?"
He tried, he really did, but he could feel the hurt coursing through him, did you never feel comfortable enough around him? 
"Really? you seem like the kind of person who has too many friends. What about your boyfriend?" 
"ex-boyfriend," you corrected him bitterly, and it left him wondering if you felt that same pang of hurt adding those two extra letters that changed everything. 
"Right," he said quietly, "but still, did you never feel comfortable enough around him?" He knew it wasn't his place to ask you such questions, hell it wasn't his place to be talking to you at all, you had made that clear, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't just leave you alone to walk home alone, hurt, and in the dark. And now, he really wanted to know what your answer to his question would be. 
You wanted to make a joke about how he was really going at it with the questions but you didn't have it in you. So you just thought about it a little before answering, "Well of course I was comfortable with him, at one point I guess, he wasn't just my boyfriend he was my best friend. And I guess that's what really sucks the most about the breakup.
"He was the only person I shared anything with but it just got to the point where I used to try and talk about anything and he'd just blow me off. It happened a few times before I just stopped altogether, it hurt too much when it felt like he didn't care. I stopped and it was like 'If I don't say anything, I can't get hurt'. If I didn't talk then I wouldn't feel that rejection again and I always had the little part in the back of my brain that said 'Of course he cares but don't say anything,  just in case.'
"He's a busy guy, and I get that, I really do. I just never thought he'd get so busy he wouldn't care about me anymore."
You hadn't realized how close you'd come to tears until you felt yourself sniffle, "Shit, sorry," you laughed bitterly, "I didn't mean to get emotional, it's whatever now, it's over."
Peter heard his heart crack. Saying he felt terrible was an understatement. He felt horrendous that he made you feel that way, even worse that he didn't even realize that he did until you just said so. 
"God I'm so sorry," he said, his voice feeling weak and he was extra thankful for the new voice-changer he'd been using lately. "He sounds like a total jerk." He was, he definitely was. 
You force a little smile, "Oh well," you shrugged, "we'll both move on." 
But deep down, neither of you believed that. 
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You had a long night. Turns out your city's hero had a lot more to him than you'd originally thought. He was extremely funny, always making little remarks about everything, and he was a great listener. Not a boring one either, he asked questions and seemed genuinely interested in what you were saying. 
It was the main thing on your mind that day that you almost forgot the problem at hand. Almost. 
Going back to school was something you were dreading. You didn't want to see Peter at all, just thinking about it was totally ruining your mood. 
You arrived and headed straight for MJ's locker. You tapped her shoulder, "Heyyyy," you said, making her narrow her eyes at you. 
"What happened," she deadpanned and you sighed. You rubbed the bridge of your nose just making her more skeptical. 
"Peter and I broke up." You said softly, not meeting her eyes. If you had, you would've seen they were filled with rage. 
"What," she asked lowly making you look up. You two were good friends but you didn't really think she'd care much, just because MJ wasn't the best at showing emotions like that. 
"Yeah, yesterday after rehearsal I broke up with him. He pushed it too far," you shrugged trying to put it off as nothing but she could see right through your charade. 
"C'mere," she slammed her locker shut and interlocked your arms together making you smile in delight. This was so unlike her and you were going to enjoy every moment. 
It was like that, your elbows locked together, you beaming and her with a dead-set look on her face as you headed for first period. You were so caught up in the joy of MJ being a little touchy-feely for once that you didn't realize she wasn't actually headed towards class but instead down the hall towards the locker of your ex.   
Luckily you caught on while you were still a few feet away, dragging her to a stop in the student-packed hall. 
"Hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing?" You looked at her, raising an eyebrow. 
She shrugged nonchalantly. "Going to chew out your ex-boyfriend for being a dick," she said as if it were obvious. 
You snuck a glance at him just in time to see him swerving his head opposite direction. So, he had definitely seen you. You shook your head, "Mj you can't do that, you'll scare him so bad you'll send him into cardiac arrest."
She cracked a smile at that until she looked in his direction and her face fell again, "No way. I'm gonna beat him into a pulp I swear-"
"Michelle," she tensed as you used her full name, "I'm fine. In fact, I broke up with him." Her shoulders deflated. "I'm not letting him off the hook that easily," she mumbled and you nodded, not really expecting her to. "I'm gonna give him the death stare all day long." She continued. 
"And I'm sure he'll turn to stone by the end of the day," you said reassuringly. Her face lifted a little. 
"But if he even tries to pull some stupid shit, I will not hesitate," she gave you a look that said 'this is the one thing you have no say over' and you nodded again. Anything as long as she didn't approach him and embarrass the three of you in the crowded school hallways. 
She seemed satisfied with that answer, and so you both turned around to actually get to class this time but not before you snuck another glance at Peter who, for some reason, was looking a little paler than a few seconds ago. Even a little..scared? Maybe he heard MJ's threats, you humored yourself, turning your head away from him again. But that was impossible because the halls were way too crowded for him to have overheard you both. Not to mention you were still a ways away from him. 
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The rest of the day went by easier than you thought it would, with extremely minimal interactions with Peter. none, in fact, after the MJ incident (who had stuck by your side all day like your own personal bodyguard). 
Of course, it might've been because you were avoiding him. You knew his schedule well and you knew where he'd be at almost all hours of the day. Even in your shared classes, you'd charmed some other students into switching seats with you so you didn't have to sit beside him anymore.
There was no rehearsal today so you dragged MJ to get ice cream with you, despite her initial refusal. You just needed a distraction, you didn't feel like going home and drowning in your thoughts for the rest of the day so you were gonna stall as much as you could. 
You paid for your ice creams and MJ chose a booth in the back for you both to sit at. Once upon a time, you all used to come here as a group (you, MJ, Ned, and Peter) and sometimes just you and Peter alone on simple dates. The memories hurt to think about so you pushed them aside trying to only focus on the sweetness of your chocolate ice cream. 
"So why'd you do it," MJ asked bluntly. You looked at her and furrowed your brows, not knowing what she meant. 
She sighed, "Why'd you break up with him? I can see how down in the dumps you've been all day, you clearly didn't want to do it, so why did you?" She didn't ask it in a nosy manner, just simply, as if she were asking you for today's date.
You exhaled slowly, trying to buy yourself time because as much as you didn't want to answer her question, you had to. You felt as if you owed her that much with how extra kind and supportive she was acting today, despite that going against her usual personality. And plus, she was your friend so she should know. 
"You know how he was MJ, I always told you," you sighed. You look down and start picking at your nails. "He just promised that he'd be there for one of my rehearsals claiming that, since they meant so much to me, he should go to one. And even though I kept telling him no and that he probably wouldn't be able to make it, he promised,
"He promised, and he still couldn't show up. So it just made me start thinking, and if he can't keep his word with simple things like that, how can I trust him with bigger things like a relationship? All the other times he's bailed on me, no explanation, and I'd just feel so stupid and hurt after getting stood up again. And I just snapped I guess."
MJ nodded solemnly as the bell above the door rang. Just out of curiosity, you looked up from your ice cream and you immediately wished you hadn't because walking in was Peter and Ned.
"Speak of the devil," you muttered as you buried your head down, letting your hair cover your face. MJ gave you a confused look before turning around and seeing just what you were talking about. She muttered a few profanities before grabbing your hand and dragging you up by your wrist. 
As soon as you stood up two pairs of eyes landed on the both of you and before you could even think about where to run away, Ned was heading towards you with Peter right at his heels. 
You cringed and MJ stood up straighter and tensed. You put a hand on her shoulder to remind her to relax and not turn on 'kill mode' yet. 
"Hey guys," Ned said smiling big and for a second you thought maybe Peter didn't tell him about the breakup. Until you saw him send a not-so-subtle slap to the back of his shoulder but Ned ignored it. 
"Hey Ned," you said softly giving him a tight smile and avoiding Peter's eyes despite feeling them burning holes into your skin. MJ just stood stiffly. 
"Funny running into you guys here huh? Me and Pete just came here for a little treat, y'know we need a pick-me-up after that math quiz," he laughed and you forced a small chuckle. You two seemed to be the only ones trying, Peter was just staring at you the whole time and MJ was glaring at him, waiting for him to try something so she had an excuse to pounce. 
"Say, aren't you in the same class Y/N? How was the test for you," he asked, clearly trying to keep the conversation flowing but as you opened your mouth to answer, someone else did. 
"Well, this has been just great. Not," MJ said which made heat rush to your face. As uncomfortable as you were, you never wanted to be rude to them, especially Ned. He had done nothing wrong and he was only being nice. 
"But Y/N and I have plans to be elsewhere so see ya later Leeds. And Parker, you might want to blink before your eyeballs dry out, not that I'd mind," she muttered the last part but you all still heard it so you sent a slap to her arm. She just shrugged as you turned towards Ned, still avoiding even looking at Peter, "Yea it was nice to see you Ned but we do have somewhere to be so we should catch up some other time," you tried more politely. 
"Yeah, of course," he sent you another smile as MJ dragged you by your arm out the door and you waved lamely at him. You both stopped as the door closed behind you. you inhaled deeply, trying to calm your nerves. 
"Oh my fuck, that was stressful," you muttered. 
MJ gave you a sympathetic look before gesturing to follow her, "Come on, let's find somewhere else to hang out."
you followed her and looked into the window of the shop where you saw Peter and Ned hunched over whispering about something. probably about how awkward that interaction was. 
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"Come on y/n, pleaseeeeeee," Lexi begged, giving you big, wide, puppy dog eyes. 
It was the next day after school and you were currently being bombarded by the whole cast and crew to play a big round of truth or dare with them. 
So they sent Lexi to convince you, knowing how close you two were. And also how stubborn she was. 
"But we have work to do," you whined pathetically. "Y/N honestly everything is done. and plus, we have one more rehearsal before opening night so if we did miss anything, which we didn't, we'll get it done that day," someone else from the crowd yelled, the rest yelling in agreement. 
They were especially laying it on you because Mrs. Lightbody was absent today, leaving you in charge alone. 
"Y/N/N, what are you even worrying about," Lexi asked, "you have everything memorized down to a 't'. Like, honestly, if any one of us had to bail last minute you could totally take over because I know you have every part of the script memorized." Everyone else was laughing in agreement and you looked down knowing it was true. 
"I mean, come on, isn't truth or dare such a 'seventh grade' kinda game," you tried for measly, knowing that what she said was true, almost everything was ready for the big day and the minor stuff left could be taken care of at the last rehearsal. 
"Well if you don't wanna play truth or dare we can always do something else," Lexi offered, giddy at the fact that you might actually agree. 
"How about a scavenger hunt," someone suggested. 
"Yeah! Me and Jack can write up a bunch of lists of tasks to do and items to gather. It'll take us less than 10 minutes," Lacy offered. 
Everyone looked around and you finally spoke up, "Sure why not," you gave in and everyone started cheering, some even whistling, "A bunch of kids running around an empty school? What could go wrong?" you told them, the whole group laughing loud. 
Everyone lounged around for a few minutes while Lacy and Jack laid out somewhere on the stage, pulling out a bunch of empty papers and started writing on them. You watched as Jack said something that made Lacy laugh, making a blush form on his cheeks. it had once been like that with me and Peter, you thought, but you tried not to let that bitter feeling seep in again. 
As if sensing your distress, Lexi came over and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, "Hey," she said softly, "maybe this'll be good for you, y'know. You work really hard and you need something to forget about that Parker kid for once. so let's go wild and run around the school a bit." you smiled, thinking about how ridiculous this whole thing really was and how Mrs. Lightbody would endlessly scold you if she ever found out. but you also couldn't help the excitement bubbling in you. this sounded like a lot of fun. 
"Yea, you're right," you agreed and you both lounged out on the stairs on the side of the stage until Jack stood up on the center stage and whistled, gathering everyone's attention. 
he waited, Lacy beside him holding a bunch of paper scraps, until everyone was close until he began, "Fellow children of theater," he started dramatically, "I hold before you midtown's very first, annual, theater games." everyone cheered and clapped. 
"You may gather into groups, as many as you like, just no more than four to a group, please. Now if you will, sort yourselves, and once your group is ready, come grab the paper that will have your tasks from Lady Lacy." He finished and motioned to Lacy who took a bow and everyone clapped once more. Man, you were gonna miss these kids once this play was over. 
you and Lexi decided that you were just going to go together but as you were getting ready to get up on stage, Brad Davis approached you two. 
"Hey," he greeted with that charming smile of his. Lexi greeted him while you waved silently beside her. 
"Mind if I join you two," he asked the both of you, but his eyes were only on you, searching for your reaction to his question. 
"Of course Brad," Lexi said, being the overly polite person she was. He nodded but he was still looking at you hopefully so you decided to answer, "Of course, you can join us," you smiled slightly. "After all, three minds are better than two. And I'm sure we'll need the extra help with whatever those two have planned for us," you motioned to the two leaders of this event, making Brad and Lexi laugh. 
The three of you made your way to Jack and Lacy to grab a list of tasks. You approached them, "Hey Lace, can we grab a sheet?"
"Of course," she said sweetly. She grabbed a paper then looked down and laughed lowly. you all looked at her confused and she just ignored you, turning to nudge Jack. He didn't help your confusion when he looked at the paper and burst out laughing. 
"What? What is it," Lexi asked, stepping forward. Lacy shook her head, "It's nothing, it's just," she laughed a little more, "me and Jack sorta wrote this one as a joke, the tasks on here are hella extreme, and frankly," she looked at you, "I don't know if you can handle it Y/N." 
You must've looked taken aback because she quickly added, "I mean no offense, honestly you're so smart that if I had to choose anyone to actually complete these I'd choose you."
"Then why don't you think I can handle it," you crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow. "Well I know you're a stickler for the rules," she started, "and these break basically all of them."
"Lemme see that," you snatched the paper out of her hand and read it. well, you started to read it, but after seeing the first two tasks, you stopped. 
You looked up to see her and Jack fighting off smiles. "I can totally get another one for you for you," she started to reach for the paper but you yanked it out of her grasp. "No, no, no. I'm doing this," you stated. 
She and Jack exchanged a look, "are you sure," he asked you weakly. You raised your head and put on a defiant look, you loved proving people wrong, "Yes." 
You walked away, Brad and Lexi close on your heels, only stopping in front of the auditorium door. 
"Can I see it," Lexi asked? You nodded, handed her the paper, and watched as she read through it. Her eyes widened every time she read something on the list, Brad reading over her shoulder. 
"Y/N, I love you but you're crazy," she said. You went to reply to her but just then, Jack was at the center of the stage again. 
"Everyone has a task card, each group will try their hardest to complete all the tasks they were given. We will meet up here in an hour and a half and the winning group will be treated properly." He looked down to set up a timer on his phone. "But there is a trick to this," he paused for dramatic effect, "there's is an obstacle my partner and I have withheld from you all,
"We are, in fact, not alone in the school. There was a teacher meeting to be held after school hours and we have a few stranglers still wandering the halls. So you must be careful not to get caught," he smirked and you feel more of that excitement rush through you. You could really use the adrenaline rush this would definitely bring. 
He looked up, holding his phone up for everyone to see, his thumb hovering over the green button that would start the timer, "Let the games commence!" he yelled as his thumb hit the button, the numbers already starting to go down quickly as kids started rushing out the doors. 
"Oh my god, we are so gonna get caught," Lexi whined, making you laugh. "Well, we aren't gonna win with that attitude, come on Lex, live a little."
"Yeah what she said," Brad laughed and stepped forward to hold the door open for the both of you. 
"Such a gentleman," you muttered as you stuck your head out to look down the halls both ways before grabbing Lexi's hand and dragging her after you. 
"Read the first one Lex," you whispered as you scouted the halls for any sign of movement. 
"'Bring back a lightbulb that is currently being used in one of the rooms in the building'," she read off the paper. 
You thought for a second, "Most of the school uses tube lights so where can we get a light bulb?"
The three of you were quiet for a second before Brad piped up, "The library has ceiling fans that use lightbulbs," he suggested, but it sounded more like a question. 
You clapped him on the shoulder, "Brad you're a genius." His face seemed to light up at your compliment. 
The three of you headed towards the library, running into a few other kids who were also trying to complete their lists. 
You quietly opened the doors and motioned for Lexi and Brad to stay behind as you made sure there were no librarians or teachers present. Once you were positive the coast was clear, you let them in and went towards the ceiling fan furthest in the back, in case anyone walked in. 
You stood up on the table but you couldn't reach, "Brad, you're tall. Get up here," you instructed and he followed. 
"I have a better idea," and before you could ask what it was, he picked you up by the waist and lifted you up to where you could easily unscrew it. 
You carefully twisted it until the light gave out and the warm glass fell into your hands. You looked down at Brad, who was still holding you, and smiled, "Thank you." 
He smiled back and let you down, both of you stepping off the table. Lexi clapped lightly, "Ok first task done," she grabbed a pen from her pocket and crossed it out. As soon as she lifted the pen from the paper you heard a door close. 
You all looked at each other panicked. You brought a finger up to your lips and quietly tiptoed your way between the shelves, leading them to the back exit. 
Everything was going smoothly until Lexi accidentally bumped into a chair making it fall to the floor, the metal making a loud noise. You all froze in your tracks as the school's librarian's voice rang out, "Hello? Who's there?"
Quickly thinking, you handed them the lightbulb and ushered both of them to the other side of the shelf as her footsteps sounded closer and closer. Once they were completely hidden from your view you pretended to browse the books on the shelf just as Ms. Smith approached you. 
"Oh Y/N, it's just you. What're doing here so late," she asked, her scratchy voice prickling your skin. 
"Um well, as you may know, I'm directing the school play that's performing this Friday," you said. She nodded for you to go on, still looking suspicious. 
"There's actually a rehearsal today and I managed to find some time to sneak away to the library to get a book," you continued, having no idea where you were going with this. 
"You came here this late just to get a book? You know the library is closed at this time of day dear, it's only open during school hours," she said, still sounding suspicious so you knew you had to bring out the big guns. 
You sighed looking down, trying your hardest to seem heartbroken, "Well you see Ms. Smith, my boyfriend broke up with me and I just really needed to get lost in a good book to forget how hurt I am," you forced your voice to crack and looked away wiping your eyes from nothing. 
"At the 'Greek Mythology' section," she questioned, and you almost faltered. But you were too committed. 
You nodded, your lip quivering, "he always used to tell me stories of the Greek myths. And the story of Orpheus and Eurydice," you let out a choked sob. "it's so romantic."
She ate. it. up. "Why yes it is, it's one of my favorites actually. Well, you take your time dear," she rubbed your shoulder as you buried your face into your hands, "and let me know if you need anything else, alright? I'll be up at the front desk."
You just sobbed harder until she left. Once you were sure she was gone, you moved your hands away from your face, which was bone dry. 
You went behind the shelf to find Brad and Lexi shuffled together. You had to hold your laughter until you exited into the halls. 
You grabbed Lexi's hands and laughed, "Did you see how she totally bought that?"
Lexi laughed with you, "You were really good Y/N, I almost bought it too! And the fake crying? Absolutely genius."
"Yea Y/N, I almost thought you were fresh out of a breakup," Brad added and you laughed again. "That part is actually true," you inform him, "everything else though, was a part of the bit. Peter doesn't know the first thing about Greek mythology let alone the story of Orpheus and Eurydice." you laugh. 
"Oh? So Parker's out of the picture," he asked and you just nodded as you read the next task on the paper, not noticing his smile. 
You were dead set on doing everything on this list
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A little over an hour had passed. You and Brad were currently busy unscrewing one of the circular seats from a cafeteria table. Of course, you had no tools so you had to improvise. You found that if you bent a bobby pin just the right way, it'll do the trick. 
You kept twisting the bobby pin until you heard a clattering sound as the last screw fell off. Brad held up the seat as the three of you grinned. You were so gonna win this. 
You stood up and opened up the bag with the rest of your supplies as Brad added your new prize. You had stolen a trash bag from the janitor's closet to hold everything for you. As the three of you walked down the hallways holding the most random collection of things, you spoke up, "Lex, what's next on the list?"
She looked down and the smile that was previously on her face quickly disappeared as she seemed to pale a little. "Oh no," she muttered. 
"What? What is it," you asked as you all stopped in your tracks. 
"It's the last one," she said and you smiled, happy that you'd made it this far. 
"Ok so what's the problem," you asked, not really seeing what she was getting at. "Out of everything on this list," she started, "this is the one that will for sure get us expelled."
You and Brad exchanged a look, "Hit me with it."
"We have to steal the principal's desk chair." 
"Those little shits," you muttered, your hands clenching into fists. "So that's it right? I mean, we got everything else on here, we don't have to win. We made it further than any of us thought we would," she said but you were already shaking your head. 
"We have to win, we are going to win," you were so determined to win this stupid game and you weren't even sure why. 
Lexi looked up, closed her eyes, and brought her hands up together, "Dear god, I'm too young to die. my parents would kill me."
Brad laughed as you headed down the hall towards the principal's office. Once you reached where you could see it, you crouched, the others right beside you. 
the walls on his side of the office were glass and you could see Principal Morita sitting at his desk. You sighed and turned to face your partners, "I have a plan but it's a little crazy."
"Oh please, this whole thing has been more than a little crazy, just hit us with it Y/L/N," Lexi whispered. 
"Ok one of us will have to lure him out while the other two wait behind the door. While he's in the hallway and whoever's with him is keeping him distracted, the other two sneak into the office, roll the chair out the other door, and wait around the corner. Once we're done and completely secure, we send some sort of signal and he's free to go back in."
You were unsure, it was a little all over the place and really risky but they were both nodding at you. "Ok I can distract him, I know exactly what to talk to him about," Lexi offered and you laughed. 
You looked at Brad, "Guess it's you and me." You started crawling to the other side of the hall, careful to stay low so Morita wouldn't see you. 
"Yup," he muttered, "your regular Bonnie and Clyde." You held in a laugh as you got situated on the brick wall at the side of the office, made sure you were out of view from the door, and motioned for Lexi to go ahead. 
She took a deep breath and knocked on the door, the sound ringing out loud in the quiet hallway. It didn't take long before the door opened and was held right in between you and your school's principal. 
"Um, yes, may I help you," you heard him ask. 
"Sorry to bother you sir, but I really needed to talk to you about something," Lexi said desperately. "Ok why don't you go ahead and take a seat in my office," he offered. "NO," she cleared her throat, knowing she had said that too loud, "what is mean is, no I can't I'm kind of in a hurry." You heard her take a few steps back. "We should just speak out here."
Mr. Morita followed her, letting go of the door as he stepped forward but Brad grabbed the handle before it could close. He held it open for you as you crawled in and he followed behind before quietly shutting it after him. 
You two crawled up to his office careful not to be seen since this side of his office wall was made of glass. Currently, his back was to you and Brad while Lexi was facing you but was careful not to let her eyes wander and betray her. 
"Ok," you silently opened the door, "we'll need to pick it up until we round the corner because the noise of it rolling would definitely catch his attention."
"Alright I can handle that," Brad said as he grabbed the legs of the chair and stood up but you motioned for him to stop. You moved out the door and peeked your head around the wall the tiniest bit. You saw Lexi passionately going on about something and from what you could see of Morita, he looked a little uncomfortable. You made a mental to ask her later what she was going on about. Once you were sure that Mr. Morita wouldn't see you, you stuck your hand and made a 'shooing' motion. 
You weren't sure if Lexi would see it or not but she must've seen it from the corner of her eye because she moved so that she was facing the hallway you had to go down head-on, making Morita turn even more as he listened to whatever it was she was rambling about. 
Now, with his back directly towards you and the new direction you were headed, you both left the office and you silently shut the door. Brad quietly put down the chair, "Get on," he ordered. You looked at him a little confused as he tried again, "Come on, it'll be fun."
Hell, you'd already done way crazier things today than you ever thought you would. One more couldn't hurt. So you sat on the chair as he picked it up and walked down the hall. You had to hold in your laughter. 
Once he turned the corner he set you down, stuck his head out, and shot Lexi a thumbs up. Less than a minute later, she approached you guys. "Go before he sees us," she whisper-yelled. 
You were still sitting in the seat and Brad took it upon himself to push you through the halls. It was such a rush, laughing in the chair with your hair flying around you, two of your newest best friends right behind you. It was one of those moments that you knew right then and there how special it was and how much you cherish it in the years to come, all the moments from today actually. You never would've participated in something like this. Ever. It was fun to be pushed out of your comfort zone, to loosen up a bit. And it was especially fun to do it with these two.
You all arrived at the side doors of the auditorium breathless, you from laughter and Brad and Lexi from the running and laughter. 
"Oh. my. GOD. I can't believe we actually pulled that off," Lexi said, smacking her forehead, eyes wide. 
"Hell yeah, we did," you looked at Brad and grinned as you held out your hand for a high-five. "Lex," you turned towards her, "time?" 
She looked down at her watch, "Ten minutes before the deadline," she smiled. She opened the door for the three of you and you all walked inside, extremely proud of yourselves. 
The auditorium was empty, to your surprise, with only you three and Lacy and Jack working on something up on stage. You all walked up the steps, "Hey guys," you spoke up. 
They looked up a little confused hearing your voice, "Oh hey Y/N," Jack said, "done already?" you nodded casually and looked down picking at your nails, peeking up to see the shocked expressions on their faces. 
"No way," Lacy whispered, "there's no fucking way you could've done all that." She said, louder this time. 
You looked up, as if in thought, and put a hand on your chin, "Really lace?" Brad brought up the bag, he had stashed it in a hallway while you did your little office heist and the chair. "Cause I thought I just did," you smirked. 
They stood with their mouths agape while the three of you just grinned at each other. 
"Well I'm impressed," Jack said as he looked at you and your friends, "can't wait to announce the winners!"
The three of you sat on the edge of the stage while the rest of the groups piled in and handed their lists to Lacy and Jack so they could assess them. Soon enough, everyone had filed back into the auditorium and after a few minutes, Jack shooed everyone off the stage so he could make his announcement. 
Once everyone was standing below the stage, Jack walked up to the center as he had done almost 2 hours before. "Students of Midtown," he bellowed, "I come to you with news of your latest adventure. We have gone through everyone's task list and the little prizes they brought back. I'm disappointed to say that only one team completed every task given to them."
Murmurs broke through the students as they wondered which group could've finished everything in so little time. You turned toward Brad and Lexi, "Wait we finished everything so does that mean-"
"I'm pleased to announce, however, the winners of the scavenger hunt. Y/N Y/L/N, Lexi Walker, and Brad Davis, congratulations!" Applause shattered all around you while you, Brad, and Lexi were hugging and high-fiving.
"Get on up here," Lacy shouted. You three were pushed forward by the other kids. You all walked up the steps and stopped in the middle of the large stage. Lacy and Jack turned to grab something and when they were facing you again, you saw what it was and you laughed. They were holding three makeshift crowns, made of cardboard. They were colored yellow (probably with a Crayola marker) and had big colorful jewels glued on the tips. 
"Do you like em,'" Lacy asked with glee, "Me and Jack made them while everyone was out."
"I love them," you told her truthfully. The two of them approached your group and crowned you all separately as you stood in the middle with Lexi to your right and Brad to your left. 
Jack stepped back, "Ladies and gentlemen, fellow students of Midtown High, let's hear it for the first winners of our very own theater games!"
Applause and cheering roared all around you. You smiled but then remembered something. Leaning to the side towards your friend, you whispered, "Hey Lex, what were you talking about with Mr. Morita, y'know, when you had to distract him for us?" She grinned at you evilly. "I told him that all the girls' bathrooms in the building should have a handful of free menstrual products because incidents happen every day and distract us from our schoolwork."
You threw your head back laughing as she laughed along with you. "Lexi! What did he say?"
"He got so flustered I barely kept him out of his office as long as I did." She told you and you laughed even more. "I can't believe you had the confidence to actually do that," you choked out between fits of laughter. Everyone was still clapping below you. She only shrugged, "Someone had to do it. I was just fortunate to be handed the opportunity." She said it so wisely, you didn't know whether to laugh some more or solemnly nod. 
You looked down at your watch and realized rehearsal had actually ended a few minutes ago. You stepped forward, "Thank you, everyone, really. I hope you all had as much fun as I did because I had a blast," you looked back at your friends and smiled, "but, as you know, all good things have to end. It's getting late and before we all start heading home I wanted to talk to you all about something,
"The day after tomorrow is the last rehearsal for us which really sucks because I always look forward to these things. No, seriously, sometimes they're the only thing to get me through the day." Chuckles and little shouts of agreement spread around the group, "And the day after that, is the long-awaited play we've all worked so hard on. And as much as I can't wait to see how amazing everyone's going to do," you looked at Lexi, who smiled right back, "I'll miss seeing your faces every day so, please, if you see me in the hall or in class or something, don't be a stranger. And at our next rehearsal, Mrs. Lightbody will definitely be back so I expect everyone to keep their mouths shut about today. Or none of us will live to make it to opening night."
Everyone clapped with a few people yelling things like "wWe'llmiss you too Y/N" and "Don't worry, this won't be the end of us!" that last one was Jack being as dramatic as ever. You laughed, "Great, now everyone, get your asses home before I get kicked off the cast for keeping you all too late."
Everyone was running around getting their things ready and you were about to do the same when you remembered something. "Hey Lace, Jack," you called them over, "what are you gonna do with everything?"
they looked at each other and smirked before looking back at you, "oh don't worry Y/N, that's for us to worry about." he told you, setting unease in your mind. 
You chuckled stiffly, "Um, well, be careful I guess?" They laughed, "Of course we will Y/N/N." Lacy said. 
"Ok, well then I'm gonna get going now, bye!" You waved at them and they both waved back. You stepped off the stage, grabbing your bag from the corners of the steps where you'd left it. You were almost at the door when you heard your name being called. Turning around you saw Brad 
"Oh, hey Davis," you smiled. "hey Y/N. I was wondering if I could walk home with you," and if you didn't know any better, you'd think he sounded a little nervous.
You laughed, "Of course, you can Brad," you started walking out the door, "unless you're trying to kidnap me then no." you deadpanned, making him laugh. He put up both hands, "Hey, my criminal record is clean and I plan on keeping it that way."
You were outside now and the roads were wet. Apparently, it had rained while you guys were getting it crazy back at school. You fake pouted, "Ugh, that sucks. I have a thing for bad boys," you smiled up at him widely. He dramatically threw his head to the side, getting rid of the hair that had fallen on his face. "Well, I'm as bad as they come."
"Oh?" you questioned, raising a brow. He nodded and leaned in, putting a hand to cover his mouth as he whispered in your ear, "One time, I was trying to parallel park between two cars and I accidentally hit one of them so I got scared just and left."
You burst out laughing, "Oh my god, I was not expecting that. BRAD! you committed a hit and run!" You laughed some more as he just shrugged, "What can I say? I'm just that cool." You fake swooned on him, throwing a hand on your forehead, "Oh my goodness Brad Davis, take me now!"
he laughed as you pushed yourself off him, laughing along with him. It was like that for the rest of the way and you realized how funny he was. He went along with all your bits (which was always appreciated) and made some himself. The walk went by quickly and was over faster than you would've liked. 
You stopped in front of the door to your apartment building, "Well this is me." Brad stopped beside you. "Y'know," you started, "you're way cooler than I thought Davis."
He laughed, "Glad you finally figured that out. Maybe we could do this again sometime?" 
You nodded, "Yeah, I think I'd like that." He grinned, "Great." you two sat there just staring at each other for a few seconds, the only sound was water hitting the ground as it fell out of gutters, and when he looked like he was about to open his mouth and say something, a car honked and splashed the two of you, leaving the two of you soaked from the side. 
You squealed in surprise and laughed. "Holy shit! Well, my socks are ruined now." Brad laughed along and you missed the twinge of disappointment coating his features. "Well, see you tomorrow Brad!" you waved at him as you turned to walk into the building. 
As you made your way up the stairs, you couldn't help the excitement still coursing through you. Maybe Spider-Man would pay you a visit. You had a lot to share after today.
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read part 3 here !!
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david-talks-sw · 1 year
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Since people were talking about it recently: is there any official reason given of why Padme forgave Anakin immediatly after the Tusken Raider massacre? I always see a lot of diferent reasons given on the internet, from long and deep analises of theirs characters to "the writers didn't think about it".
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Okay, folks (or single person who messaged me three times) I'm finally talking about this XD !
I got no official answer.
That said, here's a few points that I do think merit consideration, and I haven't really seen them mentioned anywhere.
1. Anakin is more regretful in the script.
If you look at how the scene is portrayed in the Attack of the Clones July 2001 draft of the screenplay, in Scene 118, pages 83-84...
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... he's sorry and ashamed. He is in absolute shock of what he did. We get a bit of this, in the film...
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... but in the script it's much more explicit. It starts out with him lashing out at Obi-Wan, at his own lack of power, but it ends with him breaking down and just apologizing over and over.
He didn't just kill them, he went Wolverine-style berseker and murdered EVERYTHING in his path, and he's thinking back on it with a clear-ish head now and realizing the gravity of his monstrous act.
When it's on paper, it reads very differently, to me. He's more remorseful, so Padmé's reaction makes more sense.
But there's a big difference between what you write in a script and what comes out in the film. Once you're shooting, myriad other factors come into play. So Anakin's dialog changes as the delivery and the rhythm are narrowed down, the beats in the scene shift around... but Padmé's reaction stays the same.
And that's where you get the disconnect.
Because what sticks with the audience more is this moment, now.
The anger. Not the shock and remorse.
So why the change? Well, George Lucas had this to say:
"He's very unhappy about that. Very sad and depressed. There was some dialogue here before that I took out, because it seemed to get in the way of the emotional moment of this scene where she says, "To be angry is to be human," and he says, "But to control your anger is to be a Jedi." And so that issue was actually laid out in dialogue at one point, and I decided to pull back from it... because it seemed to me that it was pretty obvious that was what was there. And I didn't think I needed to state it quite as boldly as I did. And that issue will come up at a later time, and I just felt it took away from the moment of his sadness. And I thought the sadness pretty much said the same thing without words." - AotC, Commentary Track #2, 2002
The reasoning was: too much dialog takes away from emotion.
An audience member will have a stronger emotional reaction from Anakin crying than Anakin crying while screaming "woe is me!"
I get (and generally agree) with the reasoning. But, personally, I have mixed feelings about this particular artistic choice.
On the one hand... if the intent is to show that Anakin made a big mistake and is sorry and sad because of his actions, then I think it's safe to say that it's not what most people took away.
Which then leads to things like John Ostrander writing Anakin as thinking he'd kill them all over again.
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Also, it makes the viewer question the wisdom of Padmé's judgment.
But on the other hand... whether Anakin was feeling apologetic or not, he still did it. He still effectively massacred a whole tribe, he made that choice.
And whether the intent in that specific scene is conveyed efficiently or not, Anakin's character flaws (which the Prequels are really about) aren't really impacted and still tie together perfectly.
The only real change to that scene is that Padmé goes from having a more understandable reaction to "missing a lot of red flags".
2. Padmé thinks she can fix Anakin.
Here's what Natalie Portman had to say on the scene, which I think is an interesting take.
"She's this very powerful woman, and I think Padmé is sort of intrigued by this darker side she sees to him, especially because she's such a person who tries to fix everything. She sees problems in the world and she still has that idealistic passion… to think she can change everything, and she can change people who have darkness to them. And she sees goodness in him. She sees this passion. And she sees that there's a lot of anger in that passion, that it's not just the goodness and purity of her passion. So I think that is definitely attractive for her- that there's something that she can try and help heal or mend. That might be a big surprise for her when she can't." - Natalie Portman, AotC, Commentary Track #2, 2002
A part of Padmé is intrigued by Anakin's darker side, the "handsome bad boy" part... but that's coming from a place of "I can change him".
But the only thing that can change Anakin... is Anakin himself. Unfortunately, he keeps:
indulging his darker selfish impulses because he lacks discipline, acting on emotion despite knowing better,
regretting it for a moment and acknowledging that it was wrong,
starting again, never learning from his mistakes.
Which is part of the reason why their relationship is sort of doomed from the get-go.
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ageingfangirl2 · 7 months
Text
I Finally See You! Part 2 Buggy (OPLA)
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PART 1
Buggy gets more than he bargained for and y/n stops being so naive. Buggy x Female Reader. Bit Smutty.
Y/N
After dinner, the crew had a couple of drinks before going to bed. No one argued when you said you were taking Buggy because they were sick of his antics. There was no denying your encounter earlier had left you a little flustered. You were taught to stay covered by your mother as young ladies don't put their bodies on display unless their married or whores. But the way Buggy's eyes trailed up and down your bikini-clad body, with no judgement only appreciation had you feeling things you'd never felt before. Nami was bringing you out of your comfort zone, and since you now had no one to answer to you should be able to have a little fun experimenting with your body.
Buggy did like to mess with you, and it would be mortifying if he'd been joking earlier. You could always throw him overboard and say it was an accident. You carry the clown head into your small room and lock the door, before placing him on your desk.
He wiggles his eyebrows, 'You don't normally lock the door kitten, don't want anyone walking in on you?'
You bite your lip ignoring the smirk that appears on his face, and head behind the wooden divider to get ready for bed.
Buggy laughs, 'Does kitten want to feel good? Does kitten want some milk?'
You huff as you slip into a pair of cotton shorts and matching camisole, '...so you were joking earlier?'
Buggy stops laughing at your defeated tone, and eyes you up as you walk out from behind the divider, climb into your hammock and reach for the book next to his head. As you open the book in the corner of your eye you notice Buggy's eyes darken, 'I never joke about that kitten. If you want to play all you have to do is ask.'
You put the book down and gulp nervously as you pick up his head and place him on your stomach, 'err...where do we start?'
Buggy's eyes twinkle mischievously, 'consider me your teacher y/n, but you must do everything I say, understand?'
You nod, 'I understand.'
'Lie down kitten and remove those shorts, then spread your legs and bend your knees,' Buggy orders, voice low, and the simple commands make you squirm a little as you comply.
He turns around and manages to bounce himself between your now spread legs, 'beautiful,' he whispers as he looks up at you from between your thighs, 'why don't you play with your breasts? If I had my body I'd be sucking and biting your perky nipples, while your hands caress your inner thigh. Can you picture it kitten?'
Keeping eye contact you raise your top, Buggy was helping your imagination. You start to play with your breasts and let out a small yelp followed by a moan as you pinch your nipples, 'feels good...Buggy...'
Buggy bites his lip, 'That's it kitten, look at you already getting wet. I want you to suck a couple of fingers, and get them nice and wet. Then bring your other hand down between your thighs and I'll guide you.'
BUGGY
y/n was putty in my hands, well if I had any. y/n puts two fingers into their mouth, and I can only imagine them sucking my dick, it was also hot that they kept eye contact. If they didn't finger themselves faster I was going to lose control and give them a proper tongue-lashing.
Y/N
You bring your free hand down and wiggle feeling wet down there. Buggy nudges your hand towards your clit, and you start to move your fingers up and down the small nub, instinctively wanting to close your legs at the foreign feeling but Buggy's head is stopping you.
'I want you to take those wet fingers and slide them inside kitten. Bend them in a come hither motion and finger your hungry pussy kitten,' Buggy's voice was hypnotic, and like he had control over you, you take your fingers out of your mouth and still rubbing your clit slide them inside yourself making it easier by how wet and turned on you were.
You arch your back and buck your hips, 'Buggy...' you moan.
'So good kitten,' he coos, 'look at you being dirty on a ship full of boys...keep it up...'
After a couple of minutes, you pull your fingers out and let out a happy sigh of contentment. Your eyes widen as Buggy takes your fingers in his mouth, 'Buggy...' you gasp.
He licks them clean before removing them with a pop and a cheeky wink, 'god you taste good. I want some more.'
Your hands clench the side of the hammock as Buggy starts to plant kisses up and down your inner thighs, sending tingles across your body. You bite down on your lip to suppress a moan as you throw your head back and close your eyes.
'Let Buggy take care of you now kitten,' Buggy mumbles in between kisses.
You nearly scream as Buggy moves his tongue to start tracing your clit but clamp a hand over your mouth not wanting to wake the guys, 'fuck me Buggy.'
The clown hums as he moves his attention down to lick, kiss and even suck other parts of your vulva sending your body into pleasure overdrive. This was normal for many people but this was your first time. The cheeky fucker starts to use his whole mouth to stimulate, and his tongue picks up where your fingers left off inside you. It was a little pathetic at how quickly you came, but Buggy licked up every last drop.
Having kept your mouth clamped you let out the breath you'd been holding, gasping like your life depended on it. Your cheeks flush as Buggy pulls back and jumps back onto your stomach, 'why don't you taste yourself kitten.'
You pick him up and bring his lips down on yours, shuddering at how you tasted yourself, but Buggy isn't done and deepens the kiss. If anyone walked in right now you'd be embarrassed. but since the door was locked you kissed Buggy back.
BUGGY
After the heated makeout session, y/n plays with my bandana as I rest on their stomach. This was much better than I expected, y/n was eager and I had a lot of wisdom to teach them. Just wait until I get my body back, y/n's mind would be blown. With how little control they had edging them was going to be a glorious time.
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laundrybiscuits · 8 months
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(soulmates AU: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3)
“You never told me your folks were soulmates," he says out of the blue. He'd meant to wait until it came up naturally or something, but they're just standing in awkward silence outside what the kids insist on calling the M&M house, waiting for the stupid dragon game to wrap up on the Munson side. He doesn't even know he's going to say it until it's already out there, sitting between them. 
Nancy says "Fuck," very quietly. Steve can't remember if she used to swear so much. He thinks not, but also, she was sixteen the last time he really felt like he knew her.
Steve’s tenth grade geometry teacher once told them: think about railroad tracks. That’s what parallel means, that there are two lines that never get closer together or farther away. No matter how long the railroad tracks get, there’s always exactly the same amount of space between them.
Now Steve thinks maybe that’s bullshit, that you can’t keep going separate from someone else and stay the same distance apart. If you’re not together, if you don’t cling as hard as you can, then the distance between you is going to grow faster and faster until you can’t even see the other person. 
He thinks maybe he doesn’t know Nancy at all anymore. 
Nancy smooths down her skirt in a nervous gesture he doesn’t recognize. “You’ve met my parents, Steve. Did you really think that’s what I want?”
It’s the kind of question where he knows the right answer from the way she’s saying it, but he doesn’t know why. Yeah, he’s met Ted and Karen. He always thought they seemed happy enough. They’ve got three kids, so they have to be happy, right? 
But he’s starting to think that Nancy—the new Nancy, how she is now—might not want to be happy. Or at least that it might not be the most important thing to her, compared to everything else she always talked about. Now that he’s thinking about it for real, he can’t really see her stepping into her mom’s shoes, never really doing anything but chasing after kids and power-walking around the mall. 
Shit, is he the Ted Wheeler in this scenario? Not that there’s anything wrong with Ted, but—wow, okay, he’s starting to understand Nancy’s reaction. 
He hasn’t said anything for a little while, and Nancy sighs. “Steve, I’m sorry, I can’t…”
“It’s fine, Nance,” he says. He even thinks he means it, this time. 
———
“Do you think she’s going to get a cover-up, like Eddie?”
Robin squints at him. “I think she’s the only one who can answer that.”
“Sure, okay, but I can’t ask her because I’ve decided I’m not gonna bring this shit up around her anymore. It’s called tact, Robin.”
“Fuck off, I’m a million times more tactful than you could ever be.” She chucks a roll of NEW RELEASE stickers at him, which he dodges with a little spin, just to show off.
“Are you kidding me? Who was it that got out of a parking ticket last week just by talking to the cop?”
“Uh, who was it that expertly finessed us both jobs at Family Video just by talking to Keith?”
“You gotta stop bringing that up,” Steve groans. “That was like a whole year ago. Get some new material, Buckley.”
“Get us a new job, Harrington! One that pays more than this shit!”
“Nah, I’m gonna be a trophy husband to some rich old lady. That’s my new plan, now that I’m totally unattached.” It comes out pretty steady, he thinks.
She sidles up to him, awkward in the way she gets sometimes, and bumps their shoulders together. “Hey, you know you could totally find someone else, right? It doesn’t have to be…” She trails off, gesturing helplessly.
He tips his head back and stares at the ceiling. The fluorescent lights leave blurry ghosts on his eyelids when he blinks. 
Robin Buckley is the best friend he’ll ever have and does sometimes actually know what tact is, so she just tips her head against his shoulder and stares at the ceiling with him in silence until the next customer comes in. 
———
“You can never, ever tell Steve this.” Nancy’s voice is just barely audible from the front step, and Steve freezes. He snatches his hand back from where he’d been reaching for the doorbell.
“Cross my heart, et cetera, Wheeler.” Eddie sounds lazy, like he doesn’t even care.
“It’s crazy, but I used to feel really—happy. About the soulmark. I mean, it’s every girl’s dream, right? The cutest guy in school with her name on his wrist.”
“Can’t say I relate.” 
Nancy lets out a strangled laugh and Steve silently shuffles as close as he dares, shutting his eyes like that’ll help him hear better or something.
“I know, Eddie, that’s why I’m…I don’t know what changed. I don’t know why that stopped being enough for me. I second-guess myself all the freaking time now, and I hate that! I remember the way it felt when it turned out Steve was actually really sweet, and sometimes I just want to—to crawl back inside that feeling, except it’s not real. I know it’s not real.”
“You sure about that? Doth the lady not protest too much?”
“I’m sure.”
She hadn’t even hesitated. Steve’s nails are cutting into his palms. He feels dizzy with how quick she’d answered; how calm she’d sounded. 
It hits him, then, that it’s actually over, like for real. Maybe he really is an idiot, because it’s been years, and he thought he’d already known that. Turns out there’d been a stupid little corner of hope in him after all.
He tunes back in to hear Eddie say, “Okay, okay, you don’t gotta convince me, Wheeler. If you end up deciding to, y’know, take the plunge…yeah, I can hook you up. But no rush, okay?”
Steve turns around and walks down the drive, all the way around the corner to where he’s parked. Dustin’s stretched all the way across the seats, head poking out of the driver’s side window, squinting in the afternoon sun.
“Is Eddie coming to the arcade with us?” Dustin yells.
“He’s busy, leave him alone,” says Steve.
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yetanothergreyjedi · 1 year
Text
Ghosts of Our Pasts
DP x DC crossover
Damian Wayne and Danny Fenton siblings AU
Parts 1 & 2 Part 3.
Part 4
He looked more like Bruce than Damian did, which felt right for the brother that had died leaving the assassins.
Danyal's stance was not a League of Assassin's stance. It could be that he was trying not to look openly hostile, but if Dick was honest, it reminded him most of Wonder Woman. Danyal stood like he might throw himself into the air with no expectation of gravity pushing him back down. Interesting, but de-escalation first.
"Richard Grayson," Dick introduced himself with a wave, "But you can call me Dick."
Danyal's lips did the little twitch that everyone's lips did when he told them his nickname. Daynal didn't relax yet though.
"Hi, Dick, I'm Danny."
"I'm Tim, but we established that... and you know Damian..."
The silence stretched.
"Well, if that's all you guys wanted..." Danny took a few steps backwards deeper into the alley, never letting any of them out of view.
"I should have gone with you." Damian said. It was an apology; though someone who didn't know him might not realize. "...I did not understand, not until I came here..."
Danny closed his eyes, looking away for the first time, clearly internalizing something in Damian's words. With every second, he seemed to realize that no attack was coming, and none was going to come.
"Maybe we should go back to the coffee shop?" Tim suggested, good. A neutral, public place would ease at least some of the tension.
Danny grimaced, a hand coming to rub the back of his neck. "Yeah, I sorta... I need to head back there..."
"Okay, cool," Dick said, as if the tension still didn't require tools to cut.
The walk back was an awkward mess of everyone trying to stay in Danny’s eyeline despite the crowd and him pretending he wasn't nervous when he couldn't see them. Dick had already decided that if Danny ran again, he was going to make sure they let him run. Chasing would only make him trust them less, and Danny wasn't a criminal (probably).
He gave them all an unreadable look as they re-entered the coffee shop. Dick wasn't sure what to make of it until an older bald man declared, "Mr. Fenton!"
"Sorry, Mr. Lancer..." Danny said, every bit a sheepish high-schooler. He sat down at the table he'd been at before the chase as the older man began a lecture about safety in big cities and staying with the group. Well... that complicated things.
The barista called Tim's drink.
---
"Are you good, man?" Tucker asked as soon as Lancer's attention went back to focusing on the group as a whole and not just their table.
"I think so, Tuck, but, uh... this... I don’t know, I don't think the just chilling plan is gonna work..."
"Is this related to Gotham? I thought she gave you permission?"
"She didn't just give me permission, Sam, she welcomed me... I know why now... its just complicated..."
"So... is that why the Wayne's were chasing you?" It was said like a joke.
Sam's eyes widened when he answered. "Yeah,"
Tucker stuttered out a confused mix of excited syllables, "Does that mean we get to meet—"
"Their just people, Tucker." Sam reminded, "Spoiled rich kids who at least manage to cause a scene at every other gala, so they get to rank slightly higher than all the other rich kids, because at least their not boring."
"Sam!" Tuckers exclamation caught Lancer's attention. The teacher called on them to restate what he had said. Sam guessed correctly, Tucker and Danny did not, and so the lecture started over.
Danny patiently waited for the lecture to end before whispering, "You guys know how I'm adopted..."
"Yeah..."
"So..." Danny gestured to the group of siblings that appeared to be arguing over... napkins? What were they doing?
"Wait, you know the Wayne's? Why didn't you ever say something?" Tucker exclaimed.
"Uh... well, the League of Assassins stuff..."
"Uh huh,"
"Actually, thats a bad way to explain it... my biological father is Batman."
"The Batman?!" For all of her 'people are just people' talk, Sam was too excited.
"Yes, and I can't fully explain all this without getting into identity stuff."
"Danny, Danny, Danny, first of all fair, but second, how far off is Wes?"
Danny tried very hard to not react to that. Which apparently was the same as saying yes, so he shushed them before they could start.
"I don't know how he connects to the League. This is more secret than mine, okay?"
They sobered, argued that phantom was equally important, but Danny didn't budge. So they excepted it as a weird obsession thing and agreed.
"Wait so, how did you not end up a Wayne kid?"
"The assassins have access to ectoplasm and I traded some for my parents to hide me."
"I hate that that tracks."
"To be fair, I didn't understand how actually messed up it was until later."
"Wait, so is Batman apart of..."
"I don't know, I thought he was. But the fact that I'm not stabbed right now is a good sign."
"You say that like you were planning on letting yourself get stabbed..."
Danny sighed, "It would be easier to fake my death... or like, actually die for a few days, than to resist and have them realize I'd require ending."
"Great." Sam said with forced cheer. "How are we modifying the vacation plans?"
-
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Part 5
Tag list:
Next part is finished but is a bit short, I will not post 5 until I have 6 written and 6 is being mean to me.
Edit: Part six bit me, so it's in time out. But the draft is finished.
@spectralstardustandphantomnights @avelnfear @idfk-man10 @blackroserelina @candeartist422 @mur-ururu @luer-mirin @insufferablecatenthusiast @skulld3mort-1fan @alonedustspeck @voidbornposts @meira-3919 @marshmelloe @aethernorwood @mimilikey @undead-essence @cloudminder @markus209 @everything163 @latheevening226 @roman4517 @moobloomrights @battybatbat @lumosfeather18581 @werv @ahyesanerd @pyramaniac @lexdamo @princessbelix @bun-fish @deeannthepan @edgyboi10000 @thatrandomsarahchick @busterkeel @aconitewolfsbane @spoopyspoony @bright-shade @spidey29phangirl @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @keimiwolf @u-a-wizard-jamie @gay-puff @bicerise @itshype @blackfoxsposts @icanneverdecide @lolottes @chubbypotato @jovialherringtacoghost @saltyladynightmare
@pastalavistamf @mysoulspiralbound @mj-arts-n-stuff @andaspoonfulofangst-whoops @apointlessbox
Apparently there is a mention cap on posts, who knew! I will see about the best way to add anyone else.
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mymarifae · 4 months
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i just want to share my thoughts about akito and Death. because even now—even off the back of an event like burn my soul—people STILL talk about him like he's an explicitly depressed, suicidal character whose every action is cause for concern.
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i think the idea that akito is suicidal has been floating around for a very long time. and while it's not entirely without merit (more on this in a bit), it's still a misconception. and it really feels like kashika exacerbated the issue. which is unfortunate! it's sad to see such a beautiful song be misinterpreted like this.
now don't get me wrong! kashika is about death. but two things:
1. kashika may have been written for akito, but it's not just for him. it's also deeply personal to ryo haruka. there are certainly similarities and haruryo undoubtedly understood everything akito felt during the events that led up to the crawl green incident, but i don't think it's entirely fair to equate his very real emotions and struggles to those of a fictional character. he and akito share kashika! you can interpret it through either lens, but trying to do so through both is where things start getting messy
2. whiiiiich leads me to my second point. who decided that the only way to interpret kashika and its themes of death is literally?
i think it's pretty common for people to automatically interpret any themes of death literally—or at least very negatively. we're naturally conditioned to fear death, and then we're taught to fear it even more. it's the change. it's the unknown. it's the very idea of an "end." most people aren't very fond of these things! understandably so. but personally? i think the symbolism that can exist behind death is beautiful.
Death is the 13th card of the major arcana. above all else, it symbolizes change (positive change; it's always, always about what's ultimately best for you). Death tells you it's time to move forward; this part of your life is done. there is more waiting for you—new opportunities, new experiences, a brighter, more fulfilling future—but you must be prepared to let go.
the habits and routines you have now? the mindsets that have kept you alive? your current sense of self? whatever it is, whatever Death is asking for, you have to let it "die." it won't serve you anymore. it will only drag you down. and it might be terrifying and you might not be able to comprehend what lies ahead and you might want to kick and scream and struggle, but you can't cling forever. endings are never easy, and sometimes they hurt like hell, but with each end comes a new beginning.
and yes if you've read burn my soul this should all sound very familiar lol:
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looking at death from this perspective, kashika and the entirety of find a way out should read a lot more like akito caught on the cusp of a monumental transformation. suspended between "life" (the old) and "death" (the new) so to speak.
up to this point he's been fueled by spite and desperation. two very intense, very negative emotions—but it's an intensity that worked. everyone else on vivid street had years of musical experience, and he had 0. he needed to catch up and he needed to catch up quickly because it's not like he could put the whole world on pause. he could take his time to learn the basics, sure, but every other vivid street musician would continue improving and growing while he did that. there would always be a gap between him and Them.
unless... he worked harder—WAY harder—than all of them combined.
and maybe that wouldn't do it either. maybe he would be stuck in place forever, always playing catch-up, always struggling to stay afloat, always being left behind. he knew this. and he knew the amount of destruction he'd end up inflicting upon himself if he went down this path. but in his mind, it was okay. it was worth it. because he'd rather die endlessly pursuing what he loves most than live not trying at all.
but in find a way out, when facing off against his old bullies, he starts to realize that he was wrong. he's not just stuck in place. he bridged the gap a long time ago, and he almost didn't even notice. and where he's going now, spite and desperation are the wrong emotions to sing from. he needs to let the unhealthy, extreme mindsets die, but also it's hard to let go of something when you would have given up a long long long LONG time ago without it.
but with time, and enough poking and prodding from ken and luka, he does it. he lets go. he lets the old parts of him die, and he passes on to the next stage of his life.
akito's character arc has always been about growth. improvement. learning. Becoming Better. and not just in a musical sense although Yes That Is A Huge Part Of It. his arc is also about his growth as a person. it's about him becoming more confident, and learning how to be kinder and more patient with both himself and other people. it's about him learning how to let his walls down and let his loved ones in. and to trust that they won't start kicking him to death once they're in there.
it's about him learning to exchange the Spite and Desperation for Passion and Love.
it's about him becoming happier.
which is why it's so fucking startling when people talk about him like he's suicidal and on the verge of a breakdown. like, woah, what?
as i said though, kashika isn't the only source of this misconception and i find more merit in the other sources because they're actual aspects of his character and scenes in the story and not song lyrics that shouldn't have been read so literally in the first place. like, yeah. we've seen a ton of unhealthy behavior out of akito. he's had a very extreme perspective on his place in the world from a super early age, and while the severity frequently gets exaggerated in fanon spaces, the shinonome household isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows.
he's been moody, he's been prickly and abrasive, he's lashed out. he keeps most people at arm's length and builds walls so high not even toya can get through them at first. he had to! he wouldn't have survived if he didn't! like, he was targeted and bullied by a group of adults when he first started singing on vivid street. that is actually a genuinely traumatizing thing to happen to a kid!
so no, i'm not against the idea that akito has experienced depression and suicidal ideation in the past. kinda comes naturally with the territory he ended up in. but that's the key word: past.
i get confused when the idea is dragged into the present. because again! the whole point of his character arc is he's overcome all that PAST adversity! recovery isn't linear but we're not about to see him hit rock bottom any time soon. or ever, actually. you know why? because we've already seen his rock bottom. stray bad dog. that event was his big breakdown moment. that's what opened him up to try to start healing.
we're not getting another stray bad dog. stop expecting another stray bad dog.
he's alright, i promise. he's growing up. he's gotten better. he knows he belongs in vivid bad squad. he knows he's loved. he knows his friends will be there to catch him when he falls. he's always been strong, but now he's even stronger. he's excited for his future, and i think we should be too.
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