#also joked about being the guy's past life lover and soulmate more than once | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ppangjae · 4 years

Text

SEVEN LETTERS | Jaehyun

SEVEN LETTERS | THE STORY UNTOLD (SEQUEL)

SUMMARY. On a camping trip, you find a message in a bottle that’s been washed up the shore, only to find out that it’s a message from you in the future. Your message tells you three things:

You must make Jeong Jaehyun fall in love with you because,

He’s your soulmate and

Because of your future self’s mistake, he ended up falling in love with someone else.

GENRE. soulmate!au | childhood friends to lovers!au | slight fake dating!au | fluff | angst

important note: the text from the letters are in bold

WORD COUNT. 10.1k+ words (BIG oof)

author’s note. here she is 🥺 this didn’t take too long to write out, which is very surprising. it is extremely impossible for me to write a 10k fic over the course of two days. i think i’m just really ingested in soulmate!aus and it just triggers so much imagination and creativity. anyways, enough of my ramble, i hope you enjoy this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it! also, it’s unedited so if there are any mistakes, i’m apologizing in advance!

It would be an utter lie for you to say that Jeong Jaehyun didn’t have a tiny little spot reserved for him in your heart. It was like he packed your feelings for him in a suitcase and brought it along with him on the trip to your heart. But just like that tiny spot you have for him in your heart, your courage to tell him how you feel is just as tiny. Maybe a bit tinier.

But you think you’re okay with it. You’re fine with how you and Jaehyun are right now.

Endearing gazes. Lingering looks. Skipped heartbeats. Flushed cheeks. Unspoken words and thoughts—

“The water’s cold!”

You snap out of your thoughts, looking to your right to see Jaehyun jumping up and down in the water. Fortunately and unfortunately, he has a shirt on. He’s shivering with his teeth clattering. You let out a snort, shaking your head.

“Jaehyun, get over here and change your shirt before you catch a cold!” You both hear his mother scolding him. The both of you share a look before bursting into laughter.

“Yes, mother.” He sighs, heading back up the shore before his mother gets even more angry than she already is. You watch him as he walks past you, flicking some water in your face to tease you.

“Hey!” You exclaim, wiping the droplets of water that hit your cheeks.

As you’re left all alone by the lake, you take off your sunglasses to get a nice look at the sunrise. The sun is blinding but it provides much warmth that seeps into your skin.

This camp trip is a yearly event where your family and Jaehyun’s family would get together and travel up to the cottage. It was something you and Jaehyun looked forward to every year. The both of you would be sent off to university in two different cities before coming back for the summer to spend it together at the cottage. It’s the highlight of your summer. It’s been the highlight of your summer for 18 years.

You kick off your sandals before taking a few steps into the lake. The water sure is cold, you think to yourself. When your feet are submerged in the water at ankle’s height, you look up to notice a light glare in the lake. You squint your eyes.

“What the fuck is that?” You ask yourself as the object is floating closer towards you.

The closer it floats to you, the more you make out of it. It reaches your foot and your eyebrows raise in surprise. “A message in a bottle? These things still exist?”

You’re about to call Jaehyun to tell him what you’ve found until you notice your name written in large, capital letters on the message. Your eyes slightly widen. Slowly bending down, you grab the bottle. You’re just about to pry the cap of the bottle open until—

“Y/N, your mother’s looking for you.” You hear Jaehyun say. You freeze in your spot, shoving the bottle into your hoodie before zipping it up. You slowly turn around, quirking an eyebrow. “She needs help baking the cookies. You said your roommate gave you her famous recipe?”

“Right! Thanks.” You fake a smile, rushing past him and patting his shoulder.

Jaehyun turns around and looks at you confusedly.

“Y/N, did you bring your roommate’s cookie recipe—”

“I texted it to you just now.” You cut your mother off as you rush into the cottage, heading straight to the bathroom. Your mother purses her lips into a tight line, grabbing her phone before uttering a soft ‘thank you, honey!’.

Gently closing the door shut, you lean against the door. You unzip your hoodie to grab the bottle. You’re curious as to why your name is written on the piece of paper. It causes you to pry the cap open, flying it into the sink. The cap rolls around in a circle before stopping right above the drain. You pull out the letter and indeed, your name is written on it. As you unravel the paper, your hands start to clammer.

Y/N,

You’re probably wondering who I am and why your name is written on this piece of paper. I am you from the future. Fate brought my message to you and you’re getting this message for an important reason. Take in a deep breath before reading the rest of this letter.

You’re in complete disbelief. Your shoulders slump and you slowly slide down the door. Is this even possible? Is this some sort of prank? A joke? But the handwriting in your letter looks exactly like your handwriting, making it all a bit more believable. You continue to read.

Jeong Jaehyun is your soulmate. Yes, that dorky little dude who’s your best friend? Yes, he’s your soulmate. You know that you’re in love with him. Don’t even try to lie. In case you were wondering, yes, you will still be in love with him in the future. But there’s a huge problem and I need you to fix it to prevent yourself from experiencing regret for the rest of your life.

As I am writing you this letter, Jeong Jaehyun is in love with someone else. He did not fall in love with you; his soulmate. He’s getting married in a couple a months. In order to rewrite the future, I want you to remember three things:

You MUST make Jeong Jaehyun fall in love with you because,

He is your soulmate and

Because of my mistake, he ended up falling in love with someone else.

You run a hand through your hair. This is too much for you. It’s all coming at you in full force. This is too much information for you to process in one sitting. You’ve already done so much at university, you don’t need any more stress for the rest of the summer. Besides, you just got here. You continue to finish reading the letter.

I am counting on you, past self. I don’t want you to live the rest of your life heartbroken, knowing that Jaehyun is in love with someone else, knowing that he’s getting married with another woman that isn’t his soulmate, and knowing that he will start a family with her and spend the rest of his life with her.

Don’t turn out like me, past Y/N. You’ll regret it.

Now go and rewrite your fate.

It’s what you deserve.

Good luck,

Future Y/N.

You let out a scoff.

Great. Now what?

“Are these the famous cookies your roommate makes?”

Jaehyun sniffs the freshly baked cookies and reaches out to grab one for himself. His mother swats his hand away and he lets out a yelp of pain. Your mother enters the dining room with another tray of freshly baked cookies and sets it down on the table. She hands you the other tray that’s already been cooled down.

“Why are you giving me this? I can’t finish all of this in one sitting.” You chuckle as you take the tray from her anyway.

“It’s not for you.” Your mother nods her head out the window. “It’s for the new neighbours. They just moved into the cottage. You know, the cottage that was being built last summer?”

“I was wondering why the cottage didn’t look so familiar,” Jaehyun mumbles with a mouthful of cookies.

“Want to come?” You ask him.

He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t see why not.”

The both of you are heading towards the cottage. Jaehyun’s busy admiring the layout of their patio while you’re putting on your best girl next door smile. Jaehyun knocks on the door and it takes a couple of seconds for someone to open the door for you.

“Oh—hi!” It’s a woman who looks like she’s around your age. She’s wearing sweats and a hoodie, but she has a warm, welcoming smile that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. “I’m guessing you’re our neighbours.”

“We are, yes,” Jaehyun beats you to it. You glare at him but he barely catches it. You raise an eyebrow out of curiosity, following his trance that’s landed on the girl. Your eyes squint. “We baked you some cookies, please take them, it’s my recipe—”

“Uh, your recipe?” You scoff and he gives you a warning look. “What? Why are you looking at me like that—”

“Your recipe? Oh, I’m sure they’re delicious.” She cuts you off. She gently grabs the tray from you and you fake a smile. “I’m Yeona. I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other this summer.”

“I’m Y/N—”

“I’m Jaehyun!” He cuts you off again.

You frown.

“Nice to meet you, Jaehyun and,” Yeona smiles while giggling. “Y/N.”

“If you need anything, you can always let us know.” Jaehyun grins. “If you’re feeling bored, you could always hang out with us—”

“Nice to meet you too, Yeona!” You throw your arm over Jaehyun’s shoulder, weighing your arm heavily on it. He gives you an irritated look. “I hope we can make great memories this summer.”

“You guys are such a cute couple.” Yeona chuckles.

Your smile is wiped off your face. “Oh, no, we’re not dating—”

“I think we’re a cute couple too.”

“What?” You blurt out. “We’re not—”

When you look at him, his eyes meet yours. He gives you a ‘play along’ look and you find yourself clearing your throat and putting up an act. You fake a laugh, nodding your head.

“We are! Yes, we are dating—we’ve actually—we’ve been together for a year now!” You exclaim, thinking of all the ways you could kill Jaehyun in his sleep.

“We’ll get going. It was nice meeting you, Yeona.” Jaehyun smiles.

Yeona watches the two of you as you interlock fingers and walk down the sidewalk back to your cottage. You’re this close to kicking Jaehyun in the shin until you both get back to your cottage. Once Jaehyun shuts the door, you slap him in the arm.

“Ow! What was that for—”

“Since when were we dating?”

He lets out a laugh. “I just find her really cute and so I figured—”

“You figured that the only way to make her interested in you is by pretending that you’re—”

“Taken?” He finishes it off for you. “By you? Yes. I figured it would be the only way.”

“Why are men so dumb?” You sigh annoyingly, pondering on whether you should start pulling your hair off of your scalp. “Why are men so dense?”

“It’ll only be for the summer—”

“That’s exactly the problem! We’ll be fake dating for the whole summer. I don’t want to be playing pretend and be boo boo the fool for a whole summer.” You argue. “I want to go fishing. I want to go hiking. I want to go swimming! The last thing I ever wanted is to fake date you—”

“Well, too bad. The damage has already been done.” Jaehyun smirks. “Besides, we probably won’t have to put up the act for the whole summer. I’m going to fake dump you for her—”

“You like her?” You blurt out.

“Yes. I like her. I find her really close to my ideal type—”

“Do you think she’s going to date you after finding out that those cookies that she’s probably eating right now are not from your recipe?” You test him. He clamps his mouth shut. “Exactly.”

“It’s not bad to be hopeful—”

“And it’s not bad to just tell her that you like her either.” You fold your arms until you remember something important. And it comes in the form of your own handwritten letter.

You MUST make Jeong Jaehyun fall in love with you because he is your soulmate and because of my mistake, he ended up falling in love with someone else.

“Should I just do that?”

You snap out of it. “Do what?”

“Just tell her that I like her and that we were just joking about us dating—”

“No!” You exclaim with your eyes widened like saucers.

“Why not?”

“Because—” You start, trying to look for the right words to say. “Because you’ve already made a huge mess and if you tell her the truth, the chances of her liking you back will be lower.”

Jaehyun stands there as if he’s deep in thought. You fold your arms, waiting for him to say something—

“You’re right. You’re a genius!”

You think you’re going to get a headache.

Three weeks pass when you get your second letter from your future self. You’re cooped up in your own room, holding the piece of paper in your hands with your eyes reading each word from left to right. Just like the first letter, the second one comes to you in a bottle that’s been washed up to shore. You found it just in time when you stepped outside to get a breath of fresh air.

Y/N,

Remember this specific date: July 31st.

Also, I’m sure you’ve met Yeona at this point. Believe me when I tell you this, Jaehyun has the biggest crush on her. He’s not joking around. He’s truly in love with her. She is the embodiment of his ideal type.

You grab your phone to check the date. It’s July 31st. The letter came right on time. At least your future self is still organized. You were afraid that your future self would grow lazy.

On that day, Jaehyun will ask you to go to the beach.

There’s a knock at the door. “Who is it?”

“Jaehyun, duh.”

You neatly fold the letter before placing it underneath your pillow. “Come in.”

He opens the door and pokes his head through. “My mother cooked breakfast. Let’s go down to eat.”

As you’re getting off of your bed, you notice how he looks hesitant to ask you something. You put on your house slippers and as you reach up to him, you look at him questioningly.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He will ask you this because he knows that Yeona will be going to the beach. He’ll try to convince you by saying that the weather’s nice—

“Do you want to go to the beach today? The weather’s nice today, we should take advantage of it.”

I want you to tell him this— “Let’s go to the fair instead. I heard it just opened up yesterday.”

He will try to convince you to go to the beach instead. Don’t give in. “You don’t want to go to the beach? Didn’t you say you wanted to go swimming? Tanning?”

“But we always go to the fair. Besides, this year, they’re only open for a week.” Just keep suggesting somewhere else to go.

It will work. “They’re only open for a week this year?”

You slowly nod your head. “Unfortunately.”

Trust me. “We should probably just go to the fair instead, then, huh?”

You smile.

“We should.”

“What if we bump into Yeona?”

Jaehyun glances at you. You know that the both of you won’t bump into Yeona, for she is going to the beach instead. He shrugs his shoulders as the ticket vendor is wrapping a one-day wristband on his wrist. The both of you enter the annual fair and it immediately brings you memories of last summer and the summers before that.

“We should probably hold hands then,” he mumbles softly.

You look up at him. “Huh?”

“We should be prepared in case we bump into Yeona.” Jaehyun suggests.

He doesn’t give you a chance to say anything and grabs your hand. Your hand fits perfectly in his, especially when your fingers interlock. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest. Who knew that the smallest thing to do like holding Jaehyun’s hand would turn out to be the biggest deal to you?

“Your hands are sweaty.” You mumble, trying to stop yourself from heating up.

“It’s pretty hot outside, huh?”

“Yeah, it sure is.” You bite your lip.

He grins. “Yeah, your cheeks are really red because of the heat.”

“Are they?” You gasp, letting go of his hand to cover your cheeks.

He chuckles. “It’s cute.”

Your hands slowly fall back to your sides. “Cute?”

He hums in reply, avoiding eye contact. He grabs your hand and interlocks your fingers. His ears are turning red, just like your rosy red cheeks.

“Why did you want to go to the beach?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I heard Yeona will be going.”

“Do you,” you begin until you hesitate. “Do you like her?”

He nods. You’re not sure what to say or feel. But there’s one thing you’re sure of.

“I like her a lot.”

Jaehyun’s whipped for her.

The fair will be packed. “It’s quite busy today, huh?”

Jaehyun nods. “I think it’s because they’re only open for a week.”

You won’t bump into Yeona. In fact, you and Jaehyun will have the best day ever. Enjoy it while it lasts.

“What ride should we go on first?” He asks.

Your eyes scan the rides that await you. Your eyes land on one of the rollercoasters a few metres away. It’s right across from the Ferris wheel.

Don’t forget to have fun. This is your first chance to make him fall in love with you.

“Let’s ride the rollercoaster!”

And so as you’re lining up to ride the rollercoaster, you look down at your hands. Your hands fit perfectly together, don’t you think?

You could definitely get used to this.

“I have two seats left for this ride!” One of the operators announce and you’re shooting your arm up into the air.

“We’ll take those seats!”

“Great. Just come on over!” The both of you are rushing to your seats and buckling in your seatbelts. Jaehyun’s still holding your hands.

“Enjoy your ride!”

At the end of the day, Jaehyun will ask you if you want to ride the Ferris Wheel.

“The sun is starting to set.” You point at the sun.

Jaehyun smiles. “We should probably ride the Ferris Wheel. Do you want to ride it?”

I want you to say— “Sure. I’d love that.”

And he will make up some stupid excuse like— “Great. I want to take pictures of the sunset. I think I’ll get a good shot of the sunset when we’re at the top of the Ferris Wheel.”

Thus, the both of you are hopping onto one of the carts. You’re sitting right across from him. In romance movies, Ferris Wheel rides always lead up to the character’s undying love confession to the love interest when they reach the top of the ride. You could definitely see how it will never happen, especially when Jaehyun’s too busy taking pictures of the fucking sunset.

Don’t get your hopes up too high. It’s not going to feel romantic. And it sure isn’t. You’re sitting there, texting your roommate to compliment her cookie recipe that your mother can’t seem to stop baking. You can hear the faint clicking sounds coming from Jaehyun’s phone.

“Y/N—”

“Yeah?” You look up from your phone to hear a soft ‘click!’

But there is one thing that will happen and it will stir up Jaehyun’s heart. You guess this is it. He stares at the screen of his phone for a brief moment before slowly looking up at you.

“Did you just take a picture of me?”

He will make up another stupid excuse by saying— “Yes, I did. I think it’ll be a good picture to use for your Tinder or something. I’ll send it to you.”

“Why, you little—”

“Sent it!”

You look down at your phone to look at the candid photo Jaehyun texted you. While you’re busy looking at the photo and whining over how Jaehyun took the worst angle of your face, you barely notice how Jaehyun’s staring at the same photo but on his phone.

There’s a soft smile beginning to spread across his lips. In the photo, you’re looking at him with doe-eyes. You’re glowing because the sun is facing you. You look… beautiful. Why is he studying the photo longer than he should?

He sets it as his lockscreen.

The third letter from your future self comes a couple of days after you and Jaehyun spent a day at the town fair. But this time, it doesn’t come in a bottle. This time, you find it in your mailbox after your mother asked you to check if she or Jaehyun’s mother had any mail. It’s quite alarming, but it was like you were destined to check the mail that morning.

“Any mail for us?”

You shake your head. “Nope. I’ll head back to bed, I’m still a bit tired.”

Your letter is tucked underneath your bra and once you arrive in your room, you pull it out. You sit against your door, ripping the letter open to see your handwriting.

Y/N,

On August 14th, Yeona and her family will come over for dinner. You and Jaehyun will continue to put up your fake dating act. But it won’t be for long.

After your dinner, Jaehyun will tell Yeona the truth. I don’t remember what his excuse was, but I do remember Yeona feeling relieved because at that very moment, she will confess to him.

You will feel like shit. I’m not even going to sugarcoat it. But there is one thing I want you to do, and that is to stop them from kissing out on the front porch.

That shit hurt like a buttcheek on a stick and I don’t want you to experience it.

“Y/N, make sure to wake up before five because the Kims are coming over for dinner!”

You let out a frustrated sigh. You read the last few words from the letter before crumbling it up into a paper ball. You aim for the trash can near your bedside table.

Things get better and I will make sure that they get better.

The paper ball goes into the trash can perfectly. Swish.

Trust me.

The Kims arrive right on the dot with a tray of lasagna and a bowl of what seems like potato salad. You find it hilarious how Jaehyun’s dressed up with an odd mixture of casual and formal clothing. He has his hair slicked back with hair gel and he’s wearing his best white button-up shirt with.. pink house slippers?

You’re not sure what kind of look he was going for, but Yeona doesn’t seem to mind.

“Come on in! Let’s eat!”

Everything is laid out on the dining table. Yeona looks at the two of you with suspicion as Jaehyun sits next to her and not you. You look at Jaehyun confusedly and he barely notices. You take a quick look underneath the table to see Jaehyun’s foot and you give it a gentle kick. He jumps in his seat, glaring at you.

“I’ll switch seats with Y/N,” Yeona chuckles softly. “It’d be best for the couple to sit next to each other, right?”

Your mother and Jaehyun’s mother share a confused look before bursting out into giggles. Your mother shakes her head, waving her hand. “Oh no, sweetheart, they’re not dating—”

“We are—” Jaehyun tries to cut your mother off but he stops himself when his mother gives him a warning look.

You begin to panic. “I—we just started dating two weeks ago—”

Yeona frowns. “But I thought you’ve been dating each other for a year—”

“Let’s eat, shall we?” Jaehyun insists, flashing an uneasy, nervous smile.

You shouldn’t be feeling embarrassed. In fact, Jaehyun was the one who brought you into this mess. From your future self, you know that the truth will be exposed during dinner with the Kims. But you weren’t prepared for this.

“I’m so confused.” Yeona looks at the both of you.

“Yeona, can we—I can explain—can we please talk outside?” Jaehyun asks, moreso pleads.

She looks at him with a wavering glance. “S-Sure. We can talk.”

The dinner continues and there’s nothing but tension and awkwardness in the room. You’re left all alone with the adults as Yeona and Jaehyun step outside to have a talk. You’re picking at your asparagus and steak, pondering on whether you should stuff your face as if it’ll make you disappear into thin air. You could feel burning stares from your mother and your eyes meet hers. She’s looking at you like she demands an explanation but all you could do is shrug your shoulders and wince.

“So, Yeona’s in third year university like Jaehyun and Y/N?” Jaehyun’s mother tries to change the atmosphere.

Yeona’s parents nod and flash a small smile. “She’s studying Economics.”

“Wow,” Jaehyun’s father muses. “I guess Yeona and I will get along quite well.”

“Really?” Yeona’s mother says.

His father nods. “I graduated from an Economics program. If she has any questions throughout her undergrad, she can definitely ask me.”

You’re starting to feel insecure.

“Let me just say that Yeona is very beautiful, just like you.” Jaehyun’s mother tells Yeona’s mother, who lets out a giggle.

“Oh, that’s very flattering to hear. I try my best to stay young. But it’s nice to see that it’s been passed down to Yeona.”

Jaehyun’s mother smiles. “She grew up very well.”

You will feel like shit. I’m not even going to sugarcoat it.

Hell, you weren’t sure how bad it was going to be but now you know. You feel like utter shit. This isn’t even your fault. If Jaehyun didn’t lead you into this mess, you wouldn’t be feeling this way. You wouldn’t be sitting in the midst of a conversation between adults, feeling like you’re invisible. Your insecurities wouldn’t be getting the best of you.

You slowly get up from your seat. “Sorry, excuse me, I’m going to get some fresh air.”

They don’t even notice your absence. Your feet somehow drag you to the front porch, where Jaehyun and Yeona are having their talk.

But there is one thing I want you to do, and that is to stop them from kissing out on the front porch.

That shit hurt like a buttcheek on a stick and I don’t want you to experience it.

Your eyebrows raise. You shut your eyes, mustering up all the courage. Your hand grabs the doorknob and you open the door just in time to see Jaehyun and Yeona leaning in. They pull away from each other and look at you with surprise.

You fake a gasp. “Oh, sorry! I—I just wanted to see if everything was okay.”

“I—”

“I’m so sorry.” You apologize again, closing the door.

You lean against the door and feel your eyes well up with tears.

Even though the kiss didn’t happen, it still hurt.

It still hurt like a buttcheek on a stick.

The fourth letter from your future self comes from you on your last day at the cottage. Jaehyun and Yeona are officially dating and they plan on maintaining a long distance relationship when Yeona flies back to London for university. Spending the rest of your summer heartbroken felt like shit. You’re kind of glad that summer is over and you don’t have to spend any more days at the cottage in nothing but the comfort of your room.

The letter arrives in the mail, just like the third letter.

“Is this the last bag?”

You shove the letter into your pocket. Jaehyun looks at you suspiciously, specifically at your pocket. He’s holding your duffle bag packed with your clothes. You nod your head. “Yeah, that’s the last bag.”

“What’s in your pocket?”

“Nothing!” You blurt out.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” He walks past you to place your duffle bag into the trunk of your car. He dusts his hands off.

“It’s nothing, I swear.” You reassure him.

You feel your heart stop when Jaehyun starts poking your sides to tickle you. You feel his hand sneak into your pocket to grab the letter. He has it in his hands and he’s just about to read the writing on the envelope when you snatch it from him.

“Hey, is that a love letter?” He grins, reaching out to snatch the letter from you.

You gasp. “No! Jaehyun! Please give it back. It’s not for you to see—”

He’s waving the envelope in the air and you’re jumping up and down to get it from him. He’s continuing to wave it in the air until you jump too high. When your feet land on the ground, you stumble and place your hands on his shoulders to prevent yourself from falling over. He wraps his other arm around your waist to stop you from falling over. The both of you freeze up.

You slowly look up to see him looking at you with an expression you can’t seem to make out. His hand that’s holding the letter is still in the air. The both of you stare into each other’s eyes, trying to read each other’s looks. His eyes trail down to your lips, which are inches away from his. You’re the first one to snap out of it, pulling away from him.

You reach up to snatch the letter from him. He looks at you with a daze.

“Sorry.” He says softly.

“Is everything packed up?”

You don’t say anything to him. You turn around to see your mother locking the door to the cottage. You realize that everyone, except your mother, witnessed what had just happened between you and Jaehyun. You feel your cheeks heat up again.

“Well, I guess summer’s over.” Your mother sighs sadly. “I can’t wait until we see each other for Christmas, though!”

“Jaehyun, are you sure you packed everything?”

Jaehyun looks at his father who’s seated in the driver’s seat with his head poking out the window. He nods his head. “I’m one hundred percent sure.”

“I guess this is it. See you guys later.” Your mother says.

There’s no such thing as goodbye hugs when it comes to your families. That’s because you know you will see each other eventually.

You turn back around to face Jaehyun. He’s still looking at you with that look you can’t read.

“I’ll see you later, dork.” You mumble, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

“You better kick ass at school.” He points at you as the both of you head to your cars.

“You too.”

“I’ll miss you, dork.” He adds.

“Me too, loser.”

And man, the moment you hop into your car, you’re already missing him a bit too much.

You almost forget about the fourth letter.

You remember the letter when you reach the gas station. Your parents are inside the convenience store for a washroom break. You rip the envelope open to see a small piece of paper. The letter is short this time, you note.

Y/N,

It’s been a while since I wrote you the last letter. You’re probably on your way back home from the cottage. You’re probably missing Jaehyun already.

I’m writing this letter to you a bit too early. You can definitely come back and read this letter again when the day is near.

December 24th. Christmas Eve. You and Jaehyun will be home just in time for Christmas. You will have the usual Christmas Eve dinner with the Jeongs.

However, your train ride back to the city will be delayed. Jaehyun will be the one to pick you up at the train station. This is your second chance to make him fall in love with you because on Christmas Eve, it will be the first snowfall of the season.

Now, what is the significance of the first snowfall of the season, you ask?

As your mother hops into the car, you fold the letter and subtly put it inside of your pocket. “Mom, can I ask you something?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“What’s so special about the first snowfall of the winter season?” You ask.

She lets out a snort. “You’re twenty-one and you don’t know what the first snowfall means? Gosh, you’re so inexperienced when it comes to dating.”

You chuckle. “What does it mean?”

“Have you noticed the brutal amount of couples out on dates on the first snowfall of the season?”

You shake your head. “Now that you’ve mentioned it, I realized there are a big amount of couples out that day.”

She hums in reply. “They say that if you are planning on confessing your love to your crush, you should do it on the first snowfall. Not only is it romantic, but confessions that are made that day are always reciprocated.”

“Always?”

She smiles. “I claim this first hand because your father confessed to me on the first snowfall.”

December 24th.

Your future self proves to be right. You’re sitting in your seat, looking out of the window. The sky that was bright and blue when you hopped on the train is now dark. You can see the stars scattered across the sky. A couple of minutes later, the train operator announces that there is a huge delay and the arrival time will be an hour later than the expected time on your ticket.

You sigh. As you’re pulling out the letter to give it one last read, your phone buzzes in your pocket.

“Hello?”

“Y/N, your parents told me that your train has been delayed.”

You smile at the sound of Jaehyun’s voice on the other line of the phone call. “Yeah, my father’s going to pick me up so there’s nothing to worry—”

“I already insisted on picking you up instead. What time are you expected to arrive?” He asks.

You feel your heart flutter. “You’re going to pick me up?”

“Of course. I missed you, you twat. Also, we have to make a quick stop at the diner for your favourite cheesecake. They said that they’ll be open until midnight.” He replies.

“I almost forgot about that.” You chuckle. “I’m expected to arrive around ten. Are you sure you’re okay with picking me up?”

“I’m more than sure.” You can hear him smile. “I’ll see you at ten. Is there anything you want me to bring?”

“Just you.” You laugh. “And the car, of course.”

“Well, duh. We wouldn’t want to walk home with your heavy ass luggage, now would we?”

“Shut up.” He’s tugging at your heartstrings. “I’ll see you at ten, Jaehyun.”

As you’re hanging up on him, you turn the letter around to finish the last part of the letter that you haven’t read yet. You specifically left the last part to read on the day of because you were afraid you would forget what to do.

There’s something really crucial that you have to do. If you mess this up, everything will be put at risk. As I said, this is your second chance to make Jaehyun fall in love with you.

An hour goes by faster than you expected. You’re hopping off the train with your luggage. As you’re stepping out of the train station, you’re searching for a familiar car in the parking lot.

“Y/N!”

This is completely off topic but Jaehyun will look really cute. He will be sporting a scarf that covers half of his face. He will look extremely cuddly and soft.

“Jaehyun!”

When he reaches up to you, it will start to snow.

Indeed, as Jaehyun is a metre away from you, you start to see snowflakes falling from the sky. You can hear your mother’s words echo in your head. First snowfall and love confessions. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest. You’re not sure whether it's the cold wind or Jaehyun’s presence that’s making your cheeks red. You’d like to think it’s the former.

Jaehyun will stop to look up at the sky. He will say— “It’s snowing!”

“The first snowfall of the season.” You add, letting out a soft giggle. “Long time no see, dork.”

The first snowfall of the season will remind him of Yeona. A frown will threaten to spread across his lips but he won’t let it show. That’s because him and Yeona have been going through a rough patch in their long distance relationship. But he won’t tell you this until after the Christmas dinner when you’re both a little tipsy from the beer.

You won’t get drunk with him tonight because things will turn out different this time. However, I want you to ask him this— “Do you know what the first snowfall of the season means?”

He will answer with— “First snowfall means first love. It also means that the person you’re with on the first snowfall of the season will be the love of your life.”

You won’t expect his answer because it’s completely different to your mother’s take on the first snowfall’s significance. This will further stir up Jaehyun’s heart.

“Do you believe in it?” You let out a lighthearted chuckle. “If you do, then that means I’m the love of your life.”

He will jokingly say— “Why? Are you in love with me or something?”

This is the crucial moment. You must say— “Yes. I’m in love with you, Jaehyun.”

His face is washed with shock and confusion. You’re both standing outside of the train station. Your grip on the handles of your luggage tightens when Jaehyun doesn’t utter a single word out.

He will joke around even more and say— “You’re joking. Stop joking around, Y/N. I don’t think Yeona would like hearing you say that.”

And it will hurt like a bitch. But try your best to keep yourself together. I want you to avoid the topic and say— “Let’s get going before the diner closes. You know the Christmas dinner is not Christmas dinner without that bomb ass cheesecake.”

He tilts his head in confusion. Why are you avoiding the topic? Are you joking? Why does he feel relieved to hear your confession? He shouldn’t be. He musters up a smile.

“Let’s get going, then.”

The months and days after Christmas Eve and what seems like a rejected confession makes you heartbroken. Your roommate is tired of hearing you let out sad sighs and soft sobs throughout the day. But you couldn’t help it. Your future self told you that it will hurt like a bitch. It truly did feel like a bitch and it still does.

On the night of your last exam of your fourth year of university, you make a trip to your mailbox to find another letter. It’s the fifth letter from your future self.

You find yourself sitting in your dorm room all by yourself while your roommate is out partying. You open up the letter.

Y/N,

It still hurts like a bitch, right? Well, in this letter, I will tell you what happened that caused future Jaehyun to end up with someone else. I hope it will make you feel better.

On July 31st, we ended up going to the beach. We bumped into Yeona. Yeona ended up hanging out with us and I felt like a third wheeler. Yeona was sort of picking up the idea that Jaehyun and I were fake dating and that it was all just an act. The more they hung out that day, the more Jaehyun realized that his crush on her was more than just a crush.

That night, I cried to sleep, wishing that we went to the town fair instead.

On August 14th, Yeona and her parents came over for dinner. The dinner was awkward. However, after the dinner, Jaehyun asked Yeona if they could talk. I was busy doing the dishes until Mom asked if I could take the trash out. I remember walking out of the door to see them kissing out on the porch. It felt like shit.

He told her the truth. He told her that it was all just an act to make her fall in love with him.

That night, they were officially in a relationship.

On Christmas Eve, Jaehyun picked me up at the train station. We both noticed that it was the first snowfall of the season and we were joking around about its significance. He had jokingly asked if I was in love with him and I said no. I told him that I wasn’t in love with him.

Around that time, Yeona and Jaehyun have been arguing more frequently. They were going through a rough patch in their relationship. It was starting to make Jaehyun question whether he truly loved her or not.

But around that same time, Jaehyun was slowly catching feelings for me. He had jokingly asked if I was in love with him because he sincerely wanted to know and if I had said yes, it would’ve given him a clear sign.

Later that night, he told me about his rough time with Yeona. He was slightly drunk and confessed that he was catching feelings for me, but because I said I wasn’t in love with him, I made him realize that he’s truly in love with Yeona.

I think this is what made him sure of marrying her.

I regret lying to him. I wish I told him that I was in love with him.

I started writing letters to you, past self, in hopes that you would get them somehow. Mother said that she started getting letters from her future self when she turned eighteen. She said that if you start getting letters from your future self, it means that fate is trying to link you up with your soulmate in the past after failing to make it happen in the future.

I truly believe in it. And so I hope you get my letters to you, past self.

Rewrite your future.

Jaehyun and Yeona’s wedding is next month.

I’m still pondering on whether I should attend their wedding.

That night, you cried yourself to sleep. There is still much left to read from the letter, but you’re too sad and heartbroken to read the rest of it. You decide to save it for later, when the time comes.

Just like your future self, you hope that you will successfully rewrite your future.

Because you can’t imagine being in love with anyone else except Jaehyun.

You slam the trunk shut, dusting off your hands before hopping into the front seat of your car. Your father picked you up on move-out day. Although you were supposed to graduate this year, you decided to take an extra year just for good measure.

Your father starts the car. “We missed you so much.”

“I missed you guys too.” You smile while buckling in your seatbelt. You suddenly remember what your future self wrote in the fifth letter.

On the car ride home, Dad will ask you if you really don’t want to go up to the cottage this summer. “Hey, are you sure you don’t want to spend the summer up at the cottage?”

And as much as you want to go, tell him— “I think I’m going to pass this summer. I have a couple of online summer classes and staying up at the cottage will be a huge distraction.”

Here’s what happened. I decided to spend the summer up at the cottage anyway. It was extremely awkward. Yeona and Jaehyun took that summer as an opportunity to deepen their relationship. All I did that summer was cry my eyes out. What seemed like a relationship that was crumbling to pieces was mended back together the moment Jaehyun and Yeona reunited for the summer.

This time, you are not spending the summer up at the cottage. I want you to continue with that internship offer. I wish I did. I regret not doing it. I hope and wish your absence will stir up Jaehyun’s feelings for you.

“You’re right, honey. I think staying at home for your online courses is the best way to go.” Your father agrees.

“And it’s even better because if I pass one of the courses, I might be considered for an internship.” You beam at him.

“Really?”

“Really!” You exclaim.

He reaches out to ruffle your hair. “I am so proud of you, honey. You better kick some ass.”

But hey, at least something good will come out of your summer away from the cottage.

The sixth letter arrives months later. You’ve just graduated and this summer, you decided to give yourself a break and spend it up at the cottage with the Jeongs. This time, the sixth letter comes in a bottle that washes up the shore. You’re taking a hike all by yourself when you decide to read the letter. You take a seat on one of the stones overlooking the small town.

Y/N,

This summer up at the cottage is crucial.

August 8th. On that night, your family and Jeongs will have a bonfire. When both of your parents decide to head to bed early, they will leave the both of you together.

You check your phone for the date. It’s August 7th. You have one day to prepare. Your future self was considerate this time around.

You will most likely have a heart-to-heart talk with Jaehyun. He will tell you that he’s been pondering on whether he should propose to Yeona and ask her to marry him.

Later that day, you decide to sit out on the dock. You’re dipping your feet into the lake. Just the thought of Jaehyun proposing to someone else makes your heart ache. You can’t even imagine how your future self is coping with the heartbreak.

“Can I join you?”

You look over your shoulder to see Jaehyun. You pat a spot next to you. “Sure. Come here.”

He takes a seat next to you and dips his feet into the water. You’re both sitting next to each other in silence. You’re sure Jaehyun has a lot of questions he wants to ask you.

“You know, I missed you last summer.” He starts off.

“I missed you too. Sorry I couldn’t come, I had a lot of things to do.” You say softly. “How are things with you and Yeona?”

“Things are well.” He smiles.

Oh how that smile makes your heart shatter in ways he doesn’t even know. “That sounds great.”

“Yeah. It’s a shame that Yeona and her parents aren’t spending their summer here.” He frowns.

“Yeah, why not?”

“Her cousin’s getting married.” He replies.

“Do you miss her?”

He lets out a sigh. “I miss her a lot.”

The rest of your afternoon is spent sitting at the dock in silence. There’s surely a lot on both of your minds.

August 8th.

You almost forget what to do when the day arrives. But you’re glad that you remembered when your parents called it a night and left you and Jaehyun outside near the bonfire. You’re roasting marshmallows with Jaehyun for s’mores.

Start the conversation. “You look like you have a lot on your mind, Jaehyun.”

He snaps out of his gaze to glance at you. “Do I?”

You chuckle, nodding your head at his marshmallow that’s burnt. “Clearly.”

“Ah,” he cusses, pulling his burnt marshmallow away from the fire. He throws it out and replaces it with a new marshmallow. “I guess I do have a lot on my mind.”

Jaehyun is thinking about whether— “Do you think I should propose to Yeona?”

“You’re planning to ask her to marry you?” You ask.

He nods. “Yeah. What do you think?”

He will ask you for your opinion. This is what you should say— “Do you love her?”

“I love her—”

“With all your heart?”

He will hesitate. It will take him a while to say he loves her with conviction. But after a couple of minutes, he will say— “I love her with all my heart.”

That’s a lie. Ask him this— “How do you know for sure?”

“When I met her for the first time, I just knew.” He says, his look turning distant. You’re afraid that his marshmallow is going to burn again. “She makes me feel happy. Whenever I’m with her, I feel special. I feel like the luckiest man on Earth.”

Tell him this— “Funny because that’s how I feel whenever I’m with you.”

“W-What?”

He’s looking at you now. He’s staring at you. You’re not sure where to look, so you focus on your marshmallow that’s browning. You pull it away from the fire to replace it with a new one.

He will feel confused. But you have to remind him that you confessed to him on the night of Christmas Eve.

“I told you that I’m in love with you, remember? On Christmas Eve? When you picked me up at the train station?” You try to help him recall.

His eyebrows furrow in confusion. “You weren’t joking? I thought you were joking—”

He will tell you that he thought you were joking. But this is what you tell him— “I wasn’t joking, Jaehyun. I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for the longest time.”

“Y/N—”

“But you’re in love with Yeona and she’s in love with you.” You cut him off before shoving your first s’mores of the night into your mouth.

He’s not sure what to say. You say that like it’s nothing to you. It kind of throws him off.

“Jaehyun, your marshmallow’s burnt again.”

“Shit.”

Jaehyun will feel troubled. Your conversation with him ends there. Things will be awkward for the rest of the summer and the both of you won’t talk to each other.

But there’s nothing to worry about.

Things will get back to normal. On your last day up at the cottage, the both of you will act like nothing ever happened.

The seventh letter comes on the day you’re moving out of your house. You’re making a courageous move to a new city, where you’ll be living in an apartment and working at your new job. Jaehyun has no idea that you’re moving out. Heck, he has no idea that you’re moving out of town. But you’ll tell him… eventually.

“You’re sure you’ve packed everything with you?” Your mother asks as she sniffs. Her eyes are glassy.

You look at her with an endearing smile. “Mom, the more you cry, the more I’ll dread moving out.”

“Shut up, let me have my moment. You’re growing up too fast, honey.” She wipes a tear that streams down her cheek.

“She’ll be fine. Besides, we’re going to visit her every two weeks.” Your father reassures her. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

“If you hate it there, you can always come back here.” Your mother rests her hands on your shoulders. “We’ll be ready to pick you up at the train station too.”

“I’ll let you know if anything happens.” You reassure her as you’re walking towards the car.

“We should get going before your mother starts crying again.”

“We probably should.” You chuckle.

“Make sure you eat your meals!” Your mother exclaims as you and your father are hopping into the car.

The car ride to the train station feels different. You’re not sure what the future has in store for you. You’re not even sure if you’ve successfully rewrote your future. Your mission isn’t even complete for Jaehyun is still in a relationship with Yeona.

You arrive at the train station earlier than the scheduled departure time. You decided to open the seventh letter and read it to kill some time. You take a seat at one of the benches.

Y/N,

This is my final letter to you, past self.

You’re probably on a train ride to a new town for your new job. Or you’re probably still waiting for the train to arrive.

The future feels uncertain, right? If Jaehyun is still in a relationship with Yeona, don’t worry, things are slowly working out. You’ll have to give it some time.

You will lose touch with Jaehyun for a while. He will be mad at you for leaving him without telling him. But make sure you both reconcile this Christmas. As for Yeona, she might give you a call a few months later, just to check up on you and stuff.

I just wanted to let you know that you’ve done your best and if things don’t turn out the way you wanted it to be, everything will be okay. Life will go on.

However, I am sure that the future will be different. I have a great feeling inside of me that things will be different. I am sure that you and Jaehyun will end up together this time—

“Y/N!”

You look up from your letter. It’s become an instinct for you to hide the letter when you hear someone calling your name out. Standing a couple of metres away, you spot a breathless Jaehyun.

“Jaehyun?”

He’s rushing over to you. You’re standing up to greet him until he crashes you into a tight embrace. You’re caught off guard. “Jaehyun, what are you doing here?”

He pulls away from the hug. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? What are you doing here?”

You’re confused. Your future self just told you that you will lose touch with Jaehyun for a while. But why is he standing in front of you?

“I—” You begin. “I got hired at a company out of town. I moved out. I’m moving into an apartment in another city—”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He frowns.

Huh? This is the first time your future self was wrong. Does this mean that you can disregard your future self’s seventh letter? Does this mean that you successfully rewrote your future? But your mission failed. Jaehyun’s not in love with you. What is going on?

“I figured it would be best not to tell you because I knew that you would hold me back,” you explain. “And if you held me back, I don’t think I’d ever move out.”

“But you should’ve told me. I came over to take you out for lunch only to find out that you’re moving out of town and into a new city. Do you know how sad I felt?” He frowns.

“I’m sorry—”

“And then I started wondering why you didn’t tell me about this. I started to wonder if I did something wrong. I couldn’t think straight. I drove all the way here in hopes that I don’t miss you and that I catch you right before your ride.” He rambles on. “If I didn’t catch you on time, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

“Jaehyun—”

“I broke up with Yeona.”

“What?!” You blurt out. “Why would you do that?!”

He looks at you for a brief moment. You’re looking at him with anger. Why would he break up with her?

“Why did you break up with her? She’s in love with you, Jaehyun! You’re supposed to propose to her—”

“Because I’m in love with you.” He breathes out.

“Huh?”

Yeah, you’re really confused. What’s going on?

“I’m in love with you.” He lets out a nervous laugh.

“You’re in love with me?”

“I’m in love with you, stupid.”

You blink. “Jaehyun, you’re not making any sense right now. It was just weeks ago when you asked me if you should ask Yeona to marry you. It was just weeks ago when you told me that you missed her a lot. It was just weeks ago when you thought my confession was a joke—”

“On Christmas Eve, I picked you up. Yeona and I were going through a rough time in our relationship and I was starting to question if we were meant to be together. I asked and begged for a sign.”

“A sign?”

“The first snowfall. You and I were together on the night of Christmas Eve, where we both witnessed the first snowfall. You asked me if I knew what it meant,” he explains. “I thought, ‘Is this the sign I’ve been looking for?’ and then I joked around asking if you were in love with me, not expecting you to say yes. And you did. I couldn’t believe it.”

“Jaehyun—”

“And that summer where you didn’t come up to the cottage. I felt lonely even though I was with Yeona. Things just didn’t feel the same.” He lets out a shaky laugh. “Everything started to remind me of you. I just knew Yeona was annoyed about it. I kept talking about how this and that reminded me of you. It was all starting to make sense.”

“But you still had thoughts about asking her to marry you.” You say and he shakes his head.

“I asked you for your opinion on it because I couldn’t trust my own decision. I wanted to see if you would say no. A part of me was begging you to say no.” He explains further. “But you told me that you love me and that your confession wasn’t a joke. That’s when I knew.”

“So,” you mumble. “You’re in love with me?”

“I confessed my feelings for you three times already.”

“But I want to hear it again—”

“The train is arriving in two minutes. The train is arriving in two minutes.” The speaker announces. You and Jaehyun look at each other.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.” He confesses again. “But do you really have to leave me here?”

“I’m in love with you too, Jaehyun.” You feel your heart doing cartwheels. “And yes, I have to go, Jaehyun. I can’t keep taking the train everyday to work.”

“Can I move in with you, then?”

“Not until you give me a kiss first—”

“How about I marry you instead?”

“Babe, I’m going to get the last box downstairs!”

You hear Jaehyun close the door as he goes downstairs to get his last move-in box. It didn’t take long for Jaehyun to make the trip to your apartment. In fact, it’s been a week since you moved in and he’s already moving in with you.

You’re unpacking his clothes from his bags until you open one of the small pockets to see an envelope. Out of curiosity, you pull the envelope out of the pocket.

The envelope has Jaehyun’s name written on the front in his… handwriting? You open the envelope to pull out a long letter. As you’re unfolding the letter, a soft gasp escapes your lips.

To Jaehyun,

Don’t be alarmed. You recognize the handwriting, right? It’s because it is your handwriting.

I am you from the future.

You’re probably wondering how and why you’re getting this letter. Read this letter carefully because it will be a lot to take in.

I made the biggest mistake and I need you to fix it.

Do you remember Y/N, your childhood best friend? Y/N is your soulmate. You are destined to be with her. As I write this letter to you, I have lost almost all forms of communication with Y/N.

I made the biggest mistake of falling in love with someone else. I fell in love with someone who I am not destined to be with. I married this person and have been married to her for three years. We had just filed for a divorce a month ago.

I don’t want you to experience what I went through, past Jaehyun. I don’t want you to lose Y/N. I’m sure you don’t want to lose Y/N either. Y/N is everything you could ever want.

Here are three things I need you to remember:

The moment you realize you’re in love with Y/N, you must tell her before it’s too late.

Y/N will be moving out when you get this letter. Y/N will be moving into another city and won’t tell you.

Y/N’s going to board the train at 4pm. You must get to her before then if you plan on confessing to her.

Those feelings you have for Y/N? Yes, they are true and sincere. Y/N has been in love with you for the longest time. It was my biggest mistake of thinking it was a joke and letting her become the one that got away.

“Babe, did you know there’s an ice cream parlour across the street?” You hear Jaehyun enter the apartment.

He places the box down onto the floor and opens it up to start unpacking. You laugh to yourself, wiping away a couple of tears that flow down your cheeks.

Who would’ve thought that future Jaehyun would be writing letters to his past self too?

You feel relieved.

You’ve rewritten your future.

You’re carefully placing the letter back in its envelope and back into the pocket of his bag. You zip up the pocket and let out a sigh.

“Really? We should probably get ice cream after we unpack your stuff.”

Don’t be a hopeless fool like me.

You’ll regret it. Ever since I married someone else, all I’ve ever done was reminisce and regret.

I hope you get to her on time. You must get to her on time. Or else you’ll be a little too late… again.

She’ll be waiting. In fact, all she’s done was wait for the perfect time and moment.

I wish you the best of luck,

Future Jaehyun.

3K notes · View notes

gardenergulfie · 3 years

Text

Emptober Day 4: Ribbon

Rating: G

Word Count: 2539

Relationships: Jimmy | Solidarity/Scott | Smajor1995 | Dangthatsalongname

Characters: Scott | Smajor1995 | Dangthatsalongname, Jimmy | Solidarity

Tags:Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Red String of Fate, Pre-Canon, Post-Canon, Past Lives, Alternate Universe - Empires SMP Setting (Video Blogging RPF), Friends to Lovers, Childhood Friends, Bickering, Flower Husbands, Emptober, Seablings,

Everything was normal with it until the day he met the other rulers. It was a political meeting of nations, the first time all of them would all be together in years. Rivendell was hosting it and it would be Jimmy’s first time out of the kingdom. Jimmy and Lizzie were representing the Ocean Empire as heirs but they were allowed to meet and greet with whoever they wanted. Lizzie quickly ran off, introducing herself to the Mezalean prince and leaving Jimmy to flounder alone. He gripped the ribbon between his fingers nervously but took a deep breath and approached the first person he could see. That person was a winged elf with blue hair and a very aloof expression.

Emptober Day 4: Ribbon

AO3 Link

Fic below the cut

Jimmy was a pretty normal guy. I mean he was the leader of an empire but compared to the other leaders and even his own citizens he was normal, maybe even average. Just a pretty basic dude. But Jimmy had something, a part of him, that was very not normal. It was a ribbon tied around his left wrist. It was green and blue with a design of red flowers that Jimmy had never seen before. The ribbon had one end constantly trailing out of sight. It had been there for as long as he could remember and strangely enough, seemingly no-one else could see it.

When Jimmy was little he tried out some tests with the ribbon. He found out that he couldn’t tangle it, he couldn’t trip people with it, he couldn’t hang things on it, it didn’t interact with water like most fabrics did, it was just intangible to anyone or anything but Jimmy. He’d told his sister Lizzie about it but she didn’t have one and she couldn’t see or feel it. He’d even gone to the local library to do research on it which did make the bookkeeper give him a strange look, he’d never been one for academics before but he just needed to know. He found nothing but some sappy love stories about people with invisible red strings of fate that connected them to their one true love. Jimmy didn’t really believe these stories, besides he had a ribbon not a string.

Once or twice in his life Jimmy had felt a tug on the ribbon. It felt like a person on the other end of it had pulled on it. Was there someone also connected to him? Were those stories about strings of fate true? Jimmy followed the ribbon for a long time, only stopping when he realized that he was at the edge of the kingdom. If there was a person on the other end, they weren’t from his home empire.

For a while that was it. Nothing new could be found out about the ribbon and so Jimmy resigned himself to it just being a mystery forever. On the plus side, he didn’t really mind it that much. It didn’t hurt him or get stuck on anything which was nice and it was a nice texture. Sometimes when he was anxious or just restless he would twist it between his fingers and fidget with it. He got some strange looks, fidgeting with nothing, but it wasn’t that weird so no-one really questioned him.

“Hello! I’m Jimmy Solidarity of the Ocean Empire!” He said to the elf, his voice coming out louder than he intended from nerves. He winced as the elf turned to him with a mildly peeved expression.

“Scott Smajor, heir of Rivendell.” The elf said coldly. He assessed Jimmy lazily but his eyes stopped on Jimmy’s left hand, the one holding the ribbon. His cold mask dropped and Jimmy could see an expression of shock and mild intrigue before it went back up. “I’ve never spoken to a citizen of the ocean empire. Are you all this small? It's kinda cute” Jimmy bristled a bit at the insult? Flirt? He couldn’t tell but he knew enough to be offended.

“Not all of us can be as tall as elves. I am quite a normal height! And I’m not cute.” Jimmy snapped back. Scott looked briefly surprised at his retort but then smirked.

“Not cute you say? That adorable pout on your face says otherwise.” Scott says, lifting his hand to gesture at Jimmy’s expression. A hand that had a blue green and red flower patterned ribbon tied around it. The same ribbon that existed around Jimmy’s hand. Jimmy’s eyes widened and he looked at his own ribbon. Sure enough, they were connected. So there was a person on the other end of it and Jimmy had found them. But Scott? Really? This ribbon better not be one of those soul things, he does not want to be bonded to that rude elf.

Jimmy realized that he should probably respond to Scott. He’s been standing silently for about a minute now and Scott was surly waiting for him to say something.

“I wasn’t pouting! I was upset at being called cute. Not everyone likes random strangers calling them cute, you know.” Jimmy says back. Scott looks thoughtful.

“I don’t know. If a pretty boy like you walked up to me and called me cute, I don’t think I’d be complaining.” The elf says back. Jimmy sputters as he tries to think of a response. He really wasn’t someone who got flirted with often, even as a joke, and it was very disarming.

“Well I’m not you so I care.” He says back with his face bright red. He knew it wasn’t the best comeback and from Scott’s smug expression he could tell it hadn’t hit the mark he was aiming for.

“Right sure.” Scott says with an eye roll. “This conversation’s being nowhere and I already won it so why don’t we talk about something else. I could take you on a tour? I don’t think you fishfolk get the chance to see elven architecture often.” Jimmy once again bristled at Scott’s mild insult but agreed to the tour. Scott led Jimmy away from the front hall and outside into Rivendell proper. Jimmy wouldn’t admit it but Scott was a pretty good tour guide, he knew a lot about the kingdom’s history and culture and was good at talking about it, even if he still flirted and insulted Jimmy quite often. Scott showed Jimmy the sheep pens, the owl roost, and apiary, all places that Jimmy had only seen glimpses of during the trip here.

In the apiary Jimmy saw something. A red flower, identical to the ones on his ribbon. He called Scott over, asking what kind of flower that was. Scott glanced over and when he saw the red flower Jimmy was talking about he briefly touched the ribbon tied to his own hand before answering.

“Its a poppy. They’re a common flower and grow in most places. You haven’t seen one before?” The elf asked. Jimmy shook his head.

“I don’t think they grow in the swamps. I would have remembered seeing a flower this red before.” Jimmy gently touched a petal of the flower. It was beautiful and it made Jimmy feel…. weirdly bittersweet? It was just a flower. Why did Jimmy feel like crying then? He blinked away the tears that were forming and backed away from the flower. Scott was giving him an odd searching look.

“It's my favorite kind of flower.” Scott said at last. “I always make sure there’s at least one in the apiary at all times.” Jimmy was surprised at this personal info that Scott was just telling him. Scott hadn’t talked much about himself, mostly speaking about the elves and their great kingdom. Him just dropping this strange piece of personal information seems out of pace and it made Jimmy wonder why he did it. The elf was still looking at him, waiting for Jimmy to say something in return.

“It really is lovely.” Jimmy responded. “Does it have any special meanings?” Jimmy had heard of flowers having special meaning attached to them though he hadn’t learned much about them. Lizzie had but not him.

“Sleep, peace, and death are what the poppy represents.” Scott says, unconsciously tugging on the ribbon. Jimmy felt that tug, just more proof that they were connected. Sleep, peace, and death were strange meanings for the flowers on his ribbon. Maybe the type of flower didn’t mean anything but it's a magic ribbon so that was unlikely. Jimmy was hoping that his flowers meant peace or maybe sleep, death was something he’d really not want to be tied with.

Scott had been looking more and more nervous the more Jimmy thought. The elf was trying to hide it but the fluttering of his wings and shuffling of his feet gave him away. Jimmy was about to ask him about the problem when a loud gong rang across the city.

“That's the feast bell. They’re about to start dinner.” Scott says, moving towards the door to the apiary. “We need to go quickly so we’re not late.” Jimmy let the topic of Scott’s anxiety around him drop and the two rushed towards the main hall. They were separated in the crowd when they got there, Jimmy being reunited with Lizzie who asked him where he was and introduced him to her new friend Joel. Jimmy didn’t see Scott for the rest of the night, only briefly catching a glimpse of him when it was time for him to leave.

Jimmy met Scott quite a few times over the course of many years, the two becoming rulers of their own nations, Scott in Rivendell and Jimmy in the newly formed Cod Empire. They maintained a similar relationship as they had when they were young, Scott teasing and flirting with Jimmy and Jimmy getting flustered and firing back with his own bad insults. Neither of them brought up the topic of the ribbon though Jimmy was pretty sure that Scott knew at this point. The many glances at Jimmy’s left wrist was a pretty big clue to that.

Years past, Jimmy and Scott were still leading their empires and occasionally bickering with each other. The demon plagued them for a bit and in that time they became allies in a very strange way, Scott taking Jimmy on a date. The many poppies around the date place was a nice reference to the ribbon and a knowing look from Jimmy let Scott know he knew what was up. It took a couple more suggested dates for Jimmy to realize that the date wasn’t one of Scott’s normal flirts but that Scott was actually interested in him. The two took it slow, going on quite a few more dates before they were ready to speak of the ribbon out-loud.

Jimmy remembered it as a chilly evening, the two of them drinking warm tea inside of Jimmy’s house. Scott had made the excuse of it being too cold back home and that the swamp was just much warmer but Jimmy knew the elf at this point to know that Scott wanted to spend time with him. They had done some baking following a simple recipe that somehow they still managed to mess up and then salvage at the last minute. Now with a mug of tea in hand and slightly burnt cookies on a plate in front of him, Jimmy was feeling brave. He tugged on the ribbon once then twice when Scott didn’t look over from his cup of tea. The second tug caught the elf’s attention and he looked down at the ribbon resting beside them both.

“I think at this point we both know about the existence of this,” Jimmy waved his own end of the ribbon, “and the fact that it connects them. I don’t know about you but we’ve been dating for a bit. We might as well talk about it.” Scott blinked in surprise at the question coming from seemingly nowhere but nodded at set down his drink.

“I was wondering when one of us was going to be brave enough to bring up the soul ribbon.” Scott said. “I’d have thought you would have blurted the question out way before now.” Scott teased with a small smirk. Jimmy let the insult flirt fly over his head, mostly focused on the words soul ribbon.

“Wait, the soul ribbon is like a string of fate? The stuff from those love stories?” Jimmy asked. Scott looked confused at the question.

“Wait, you mean you don’t know about soul ribbons? They’re real and way more than just stories. We’re kind of living proof of that.” Scott said. Jimmy leaned back in his chair a bit more.

“The only information I found about anything similar to the ribbon was stories about red strings of fate that connect people destined to be together. They were just fiction I thought but you’re saying that it’s really real. We’re soulmates?” Jimmy asks.

“Soul ribbons are a bit more complicated than just the idea of fated couples. They’re broken promises from a past life. When two people promise to stay together but something happens where they promise is broken, the universe will step in and give them another chance. Hence, the soul ribbon.” Scott explains. “The pattern of the ribbon normally has some kind of meaning relating to the past life. Soul ribbons can’t really be studied but there have been enough cases that people are now pretty sure of their meaning.”

“So in another life, we made a promise to each other but it got broken? And poppies were important to us?” Jimmy questioned. “Well that explains why I feel so happy and sad at the same time when I see a poppy. Past life emotions, huh.” Scott reached out and took a cookie with one hand and Jimmy's own hand with another.

“I understand if this is a lot to take in.” Scott bit his lip, looking anxious. “Again, the soul ribbon doesn’t mean that we have to be together. It’s just the universe giving us a second chance. So if this is too much for you we don’t have to keep dating-“

“What? Scott no. I don’t want to stop dating. It’s strange, yeah, but I mean I already knew we were connected. This doesn’t have to change anything for us! I’m happy to know how we’re connected, this solves a mystery I’ve always been wondering about. I mean, better lovers in a past life than fated enemies in this one.” Jimmy said passionately, laughing a bit at his own joke at the end. Scott’s face brightened up and he smiled back at Jimmy.

“Was that one of your theories? Fated enemies?” Scott chuckled as he took a bite of his cookie. Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck bashfully with his free hand.

“I mean we were always bickering. It wasn’t too strange of an idea.” Jimmy defended himself.

The two of them continued to talk for quite a few more hours before they eventually fell asleep together, bundled up under a quilt. Their hands were intertwined, the two ends of the ribbons brushing against each other. The universe looked down at these second chance souls and felt pride. They really had found each other again.

#sorry that this is late i was on a plane all day #mcyt #empires smp #scott smajor #jimmy solidarity #flower husbands #emptober #Gulfie's Writings

47 notes · View notes

hardskz · 4 years

Text

a penny for your thoughts.

pairing — han jisung x female! reader

genre — trope inversion of the soulmate au, college au, enemies to lovers, angst and fluff-ish, smut; oral, possessiveness kink, praise kink, safe word, size kink, first time

synopsis — life isn’t easy when you belong to the 1% of the world population that has a soulmate, know who your soulmate is and happen to be utterly in love with said soulmate’s best friend. alternatively, jisung can hear all of your unfiltered thoughts and has heard enough of your horny fantasies to the point where he wants to throw up, so he takes matters in his own hands.

note — i think i’m gonna cry this work is my 11k word BABY i’ve never been THIS invested over a fic. this is purely self-indulgent and an emotional rollercoaster ride if you ask me. this fic is all over the place it’s chaotic and i apologize in advance for many italics you are welcome i hope you CRY and SUFFER with me because completing this bitch was a midlife crisis in itself. that being said, i appreciate any form of constructive criticism so pls go ahead and rip my baby apart sdkjl

“You’re staring again,” Hyunjin notes. Seungmin and Jeongin stifle a burst of laughter while Felix, whose head is resting on Hyunjin’s lap, sends you a look that resembles Candace from Phineas and Ferb whenever she finds her brothers creating some whacky futuristic shit, laughs like a madman and then resumes to call her mother with an ear-splitting MOOOM! because she’s so certain that her brothers are busted this time.

“Am not,” you huff as you tear your eyes away from the guy just sitting a little bit farther away from you, basking in the warm glow of the sun. Today he’s sitting in the perfect angle, giving you the best view on his side profile. His signature cap is perched right on top of his head but even then, you can see how his eyes brighten up and how the corners of his lips tug upwards as he laughs at his friend’s joke.

“You’re a worse case than the Mary Sue protagonist of every romance anime ever.” Seungmin snorts before he playfully nudges your side with his shoe. “Just say you want Seo Changbin to bang you and go.”

“Hey! We have a child present!” Hyunjin chastises, to which Jeongin rolls his eyes.

“I’m not a child. We’re all in fucking college.”

“Fine, not a child then. The baby has been corrupted! Don’t swear, it sounds so wrong coming from you!”

“Shut up. It’s called freedom of speech!”

“It’s ‘shut up Hyung’ to you!”

Felix groans in distress and is probably rethinking his life choices. Seriously, what does Felix, resident hopeless romantic, see in Hyunjin? Sure, he’s good-looking and a great friend when he’s not bitching around or hovering over the nearest trash can after taking too many shots. But a romantic? Please, Hyunjin can’t even eat without making a mess out of his shirt.

“I don’t want him to bang me,” you mutter and receive a collective ‘yeah sure’ look. “Fine, I don’t want him to bang me only. He’s nice,” you retort before your eyes flit back to him for a millisecond. By now, Changbin has put his hands on the grass and is leaning back, enjoying the sunlight while listening halfheartedly to the other guy blabbering.

“And hot. We get it. Now get dicked,” Seungmin deadpans, earning flabbergasted looks from everyone and a smack from Hyunjin.

“Show a little more empathy, you dickwad. She’s whipped.”

“Anyway—“ Felix sits up, earning a pout from Hyunjin but he blatantly ignores it, and directs the conversation back to the previous topic before the other two bump heads, “(y/n), you have his number. You’re not strangers, so why don’t you just make a move?”

You glance at him with horror in your eyes. “What do you expect me to do? Ring him up and ask him to hang out with me because I find him cute?”

“Uh, duh? Last time I checked, that’s how you ask someone out.”

“Absolutely not.”

“New idea.” Seungmin butts in. “Why don’t you ask Han Jisung—“

“No.”

“Agreed.” Hyunjin shoots you a nod of approval before Seungmin can start yet another interrogation about your bitter hatred towards Jisung. Jisung, who happens to be said friend of Changbin that is laughing beside him right now. “He must think he’s so much better than us because he’s hanging out with the senior geniuses of the music production major. Then again, Seo Changbin and Bang Chan are on a different level than us commoners.”

“Speaking of Chan,” you quickly say to steer the conversation away from the personification of everything you hate. “Where is he? It’s so weird seeing the trio incomplete.”

This time, Jeongin chimes in. “Haven’t you heard?”

“Heard what?”

“Chan and that one language major — you know, the one who collapsed a while back?” When all he’s met with are clueless faces, Jeongin sighs. “Seriously, you guys should keep up with campus news. I swear, everyone and their mothers already know by now. But anyway, they’re soulmates. It’s also the reason why Chan has been pulled out of the boxing team until the end of the semester and had to cancel their training camp as soon as she broke down.”

Felix does a double-take. “But Chan’s the ace of the boxing club!”

“It is what it is.” Jeongin stretches his legs out, shrugging. “What else is to expect when you have the proximity link and need to be around your soulmate within a certain distance unless you want death?”

“Poor guy. Must be a smack in the face for him, now that he’s got a soulmate and happens to have the worst link one could have.” Seungmin says.

“The tattoos are worse though.” Hyunjin fires back. “I mean, you’re literally born with a tattoo of your soulmate’s name and then grow up knowing that you have one? And even if you never meet them, you won’t have better chances with others if you want some romance. Who in their right mind wants to have a lover who’s got someone else’s name tattooed on them since birth?”

“No one.” You chuckle. “Absolutely no one.”

In another lifetime, another universe, you and Jisung would probably be on better terms. He’s sunshine on legs and looks decent from an objective point of view.

In another lifetime, another universe, you’d like to believe you’re childhood friends and have been neighbors ever since your first shit in your diapers. Perhaps you would be clowned from being inseparable once in a while, but you’d go with it and then shrug it off as if it was nothing.

In another lifetime, another universe, you’d like to believe that being soulmates doesn’t equal the downfall of two people. Sure, the fact that people are bound to each other and the danger of growing too dependent on that person remains, but it probably won’t be so frowned upon. Probably. Hopefully.

However, as much as you want to twist it, another lifetime is not this lifetime, the reality.

In reality, you and Jisung are only neighbors because the universe has some kind of inexplicable hatred towards you. Seriously, you must’ve done something wrong in your previous life to be punished in this one. And because the universe has sadistic tendencies and loves to make you suffer, the laws of the universe are just as equally fucked up.

The concept of soulmates is a lot of things, but most of all, it’s a mystery. There are endless possibilities for soulmate links, not all of them discovered. And unlike popular belief, soulmates do not have to necessarily share the same link. So voilà, even more fuckery from the universe.

There’s only one reason that justifies your wholehearted, unfiltered hatred towards Han Jisung. Well, only one reason that seems justified in this lifetime.

The tattoo is simple; just fine black characters under your collarbone that are nicely hidden under high-cut shirts.

But the fact that it’s his name tattooed on you since birth remains.

“Let me crash here for the night.”

“No.”

“Let me crash here for the night, please.”

“My answer is still no.”

The exasperation is plastered on Jisung’s face as he tries to keep his temper in check. Truth be told, it’s damn satisfying seeing him wanting to rip your head off but refraining to do so. Perhaps you’re enjoying this more than you expected at one o’clock in the morning. For the past five minutes, Jisung has been asking you to let him stay over for the night. You’d save him out of his misery and help a neighbor out who locked himself out of his apartment at this hour — well, if he wasn’t Han Jisung.

By now, he’s growing more impatient with every further rejection. “Oh come on, all my friends live on the other side of town and you can’t expect me to ask the old grandma next door! At this rate, I’m gonna freeze to death overnight!”

“Then go break a window or something,” you deadpan, ignoring the dramatic hand gestures he’s making to accentuate his words.

“The fuck? I’m not going to break into my own place.”

Not wanting to draw out the pointless conversation any longer, you’re about to slam the door shut when he blocks your action with his foot. “C’mon, just this one night. Please.”

He’s not budging anytime soon. His bullheadedness reminds you of Seungmin, who always tries to get Hyunjin wasted whenever you attend those Greek frat parties. Seungmin, who always succeeds in getting Hyunjin wasted, followed by Hyunjin hugging a bucket for the next few hours as he tries to get over the hangover. With a defeated sigh, you gesture Jisung to come inside and don’t wait for him until he’s taken his shoes off at the entryway.

“Look, I know you don’t like me—“

“Well, ‘don’t like’ is putting it very lightly—” you scoff once he’s caught up to you in the living room. It’s not exactly spacious; the couch takes up most of the room and college assignments are spread all over the minuscule coffee table.

“You could at least treat me like a decent human being.”

That statement is enough to get your ears flaming. You whip your head in his direction, voice getting louder. “How can I when your existence is making my life worse than it already is! And I mean it literally! Just seeing your name whenever I look at myself through the mirror sickens me!”

“Stop acting like you’re the only victim here.” Jisung snaps back in the same manner. If there was a little bit of etiquette in the first place, it has all vanished now. “I’m not having it easier when all I hear from you is the dozen ways you want Changbin to fuck you dumb!”

You freeze.

“Cat got your tongue? It’s already bad enough that you have those kinds of thoughts about my best friend every single day.”

“But I thought— y-you had the proximity link?!” This has to be a joke. A very bad one at that. His proximity link is the very sole reason why you lived next to him. His soulmate link is the only reason why you’ve been stuck together like glue since you could walk.

Jisung taps his foot impatiently, running his hand through his hair. “That’s what I thought too until I started hearing things that nobody said around me. First, it was just a few thoughts every other day, but now you’re like an annoying radio that I can’t switch off.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then? I would’ve—“

“Stopped fantasizing about Changbin’s dick? And then you would’ve jumped to the next person. I don’t care if you like him or not, it’s none of my business. Changbin’s hot, anyone with eyes can tell. Besides, it’s not like you have a chance anyway…”

You feel your blood boiling at his underlying message and cross your arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jisung doesn’t bat an eyelash and says in a mocking tone as if stating the obvious. “No doubt that Changbin will make you feel good. But could you return the favor?”

That’s a low blow. Even for Jisung, that’s a low blow.

“I get that you’ve got a dirty mind. But those are just fantasies. Could you really execute them just the way you had in your head? You don’t even have experience in the first place.”

“If I sucked you off right now, you wouldn’t even be able to speak properly!” God knows what went over you when you countered. At this point, rage has taken over your brain and you don’t even realize what you just said right away. Not that it matters anyway; all you see is red.

Jisung just raises a brow, clearly unimpressed by your outburst. “Prove it,” he challenges casually and then flops himself onto the couch, legs spread wide. It’s an open invitation. “Go ahead, make me see reason with your oh so mind-blowing skills.”

The only thing you’re able to do physically is gape at him. He is joking, right? As if he actually means it—

“I knew it. Shameless in your head but too flustered to say it out loud, let alone following up with your bold statements.”

That seals the deal. You’re fuelled by anger and the desire to prove him wrong as you drop on your knees and are on eye level with his crotch. However, your spirit dissolves the longer you silently stare and realize that you have no fucking clue on what to do. Jisung is painfully aware of that too.

“I’m more terrified than turned on seeing your angry face.” He lets out an exasperated sigh before he pulls you up and directs you to sit on his lap. “Obviously it’s not working when neither of us is in the mood. You gotta get in the mood first,” he mutters, hands settling on your hips.

The look in his eyes is more composed now, but you can tell he’s being observant. As if you have clues written all over your face, he keeps you under his stern gaze. Then his eyes droop lower to your lips and he slowly leans forward.

Not even a second later, you firmly plant your hands on his shoulder and push him back. “No lips.”

If Jisung is judgemental about your sudden stunt, he doesn’t comment on it. “Anything else, your royal majesty?”

You’re too tired to react to his mockery and roll your eyes. “No marks.”

“I can work with that,” he mumbles more to himself rather to you. Then he leans forward again and buries his face in the crook of your neck. Surprised by his actions and new to the unfamiliar sensation, you tense up. Jisung seems to take notice of that too.

“Relax,” he orders, rubbing circles on your hips to help you loosen up.

Well, that’s easier said than done. It’s already bad enough that you’re gradually exposing yourself as the complete amateur you are, and out of all people who could’ve been the first to do any form of sexual advances on you, it just had to be Jisung. Perhaps you shouldn’t have rejected that one kid in high school who was the only one who ever had a crush on you. Even if that kid wasn’t your type and not a serious commitment anyway, maybe you would’ve at least some sort of experience with dick.

“A-ah—“ your breath hitches when he nips on the patch below your earlobe. He smiles against your skin as if he just made some scientific discovery and swipes his tongue on the same spot, eager to make you squirm. Not wanting to slip up anymore, you clamp your mouth shut with a hand.

“Let me hear you, baby. Just relax, I got you.” When the fuck did his voice start to sound lower and raspier? Where did ‘baby’ come from? All rationality and resistance leave your body when he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him.

The cologne of musk lingers strong on him, almost intoxicating even, and you can’t form a cohesive thought anymore. The only things you are painfully aware of are an arm forcing your chest flush against his and his hot breath all over your neck.

You’re so far gone that you fail to notice that you’ve started grinding on his lap. Jisung moans softly into your neck as he encourages you to move with his hands.

“On your knees, baby,” he whispers after a while. A rush of disappointment runs through your veins once he detaches his lips from you and slides you off his lap, but all of that is forgotten once you see the prominent bulge in his pants.

Right. There’s a reason why you ended up in this predicament in the first place.

Jisung urges you to touch him with a simple nudge. “C’mon, baby. Take it off.”

You don’t waste time discarding his sweatpants. Just when you’re about to tug his underwear off, you notice the wet patch on the fabric. A surge of mischief washes over you as you boldly cupped his hard-on over his boxers, causing an obscenely loud moan from him.

He flinches, definitely not expecting that brashness from you, and throws his head back. “S-stop teasing me already and take that goddamn thing off or God help me what I’m going to do if you push my buttons.”

That. That was a threat. That dealt much more damage to you than you like to admit.

As much as you want to watch him break and see if he’d make his threats come true, you decide against your feelings and hook your fingers under the waistband and tug the fabric down in one swift motion. A groan leaves Jisung as his cock, fully hard and leaking precum, is exposed to the cold air. He’s certainly above average; on the longer side probably, and you’re conflicted on whether to think fuck, I want him in my mouth right now or fuck, how on earth is that supposed to fit into my mouth?!

You don’t get far with your inner conflict when a hand grabs a fistful of your hair and slowly urges you closer. The next thing you know, something is tapping your lips and before you fully register it, the tip of Jisung’s cock lies heavy on your tongue.

You carefully look up and meet Jisung’s hooded eyes. His shirt has ridden up a bit and flashes just a little bit of his toned stomach. That’s just enough of an indicator to see that Jisung is holding himself back, in case his irregular breathing hasn’t been a dead giveaway.

Jisung opens his mouth, about to say something, when you give an experimental suck on his dick. “Do something— f-fuck, a little more, baby.”

That’s enough to build your confidence up. You slowly take in more of his dick, sucking carefully and making sure to cover your teeth. The rest that doesn’t fit in your mouth is barely covered with your hands, and you messily try to coordinate your hands, switching between rubbing the base of his dick to cupping his balls.

“Mmh, use more pressure,” Jisung whispers, not trusting the stability of his voice when you fondle with his balls. A groan leaves him when you suck harder on his cock and switch back to swirling your tongue around. For a total beginner, you are holding yourself up better than he expected. Fuck.

“Focus on the tip fir— hhh- aa-ah...” His brain blacks out for a moment when you swirl your tongue around his tip and dare an experimental hum, the vibrations going straight down to his dick. The grip on your hair loosens, but it’s still firm enough to experience a sharp tug. “You’re doing good baby. So good.”

The combination of his sounds, the decent taste of precum on your tongue and the way his adam’s apple bops is enough to send you into sensory overload. You notice the way Jisung tenses his thighs, as to keep them still. You’re about to pull out completely to prevent your drool from getting on your face. However, before you get the chance to complain, he forces his length back on you that it grazes the back of your throat, nearly making you choke.

“Fuck, I— I’m gonna— s-soon—“ he hisses and you take it as a sign to speed up. At this point, your jaw hurts and a mixture of drool and precum drips down your chin. It’s borderline disgusting if you think about it, but the delectable sounds leaving Jisung compensates for it.

He sharply tugs on your hair, ordering you to pull off, but you slap his hand away. “I’m going to spill in your mouth if you don’t pull off right now—“ Jisung chokes on his words when you interrupt him with a hum as if to say so what? It doesn’t help that you’re looking up at him with teary eyes and a lot of conviction, even though you’re visibly struggling to keep half of his dick in your mouth.

When he cums, it’s accompanied but drawn out moans, and you forcing yourself to swallow the horrible texture. It’s not horrible per se, but you’d gladly refuse to swallow a second time if you were given the choice.

Jisung looks down at you with flushed cheeks and is about to wipe off the drool or cum or whatever liquid is staining your bottom lip, but you quickly block his hand. “I’ll clean up by myself.”

For a minuscule second, he looks defeated; he looks borderline disappointed, but before you can pinpoint his feelings for sure, his expression changes. “But what about you?” he asks, eyes raking down your body and stopping at the waistband of your pants.

“I’ll deal with it on my own.” You shrug, avoiding his eyes. All of sudden, you find it hard to breathe in the room as the realization settles into your brain. You just sucked off Jisung. Jisung, out of all fucking people.

“You sure?” Your eyes flit to him who looks like he’s been observing you the entire time. His breathing has calmed down, his lips look a little bit plumper than before and his hair sticks out in all different directions. Looking at his current state makes you feel sick, and your undying hatred for him starts growing again. It’s your fault that he looks so fucked out and—

Why the fuck did you even do that?

“Yes. Now stop asking before I change my mind and kick you out.”

Before he can have the last word, you turn on your heels and rush into your bedroom, ignoring the fact that your underwear is practically drenched.

You wake up to the smell of pancakes emerging from the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“I’m making breakfast?” Jisung throws you a questioning look and then plates the last batch of pancakes from the pan. “It’s the least I can do after you were friendly enough to let me crash on the couch.”

Your eyes wander to the countertop to the two plates stacked with pancakes. Jisung finishes up the second plate and hands it out to you.

You stare dumbly at the plate. It’s too early for your brain to mouth filter to work, so the first thing you spit out is, “How do I know you didn’t poison it?”

“Are you fucking serious—“ Jisung squeezes his eyes shut, mutters something inaudible under his breath before he puts on the fakest smile he can muster. “I can take a bite if you really insist.”

“Give me that plate.” You point to the other plate on the counter. Presentation-wise, it looks the same as the one Jisung is offering you, minus the visible steam.

“There. Wanna switch again or can I finally eat?” he scoffs when you walk past him to get cutlery and sit at the dining table; it’s essentially a round wooden table where one of the legs is about to break. Two plates and a pitcher at most take up the entire surface. You really should consider buying a new table, but you have better things to spend on rather than that.

From your peripheral vision, you see Jisung rolling his eyes. Perhaps you were making an entire unnecessary circus, critically cutting through the pancake and inspecting each and every side before stuffing it in your mouth. But again, in your defense, it’s too early in the morning to show basic etiquette towards him out of all people.

You have to admit that visually, the pancakes look good. What you didn’t expect were the pancakes to taste just how they look. It looks like you couldn’t contain your surprise in you, judging by the amused smirk that finds its way onto Jisung’s face as he claims the chair across from you.

“As if you could actually cook,” you splutter because there’s no fucking way you are giving him that satisfaction of the day.

However, it seems to bemuse him even more. “You literally eat this every day and know the recipe by heart. With the excessive number of times you recite the ingredients a day, obviously, something got stuck in my brain,” he explains while cutting through his own portion.

The rest of breakfast is spent in silence. You both finish at the same time and while you’re washing the dishes, he’s stayed put in the chair, mindlessly checking something on his phone.

“You didn’t have to cook, you know. You could’ve just left.” you start. It’s already awkward enough that he’s still here. Bloody hell, you should’ve just waited with the plates and ushered him out of your place instead of just getting away as fast as possible from the table. Now that you think about it, this was probably the only time you two were somewhat amicable at such proximity. (Even if you didn’t talk at all. Still, it’s progress.)

He drops his phone on the table with a soft ‘bang’. “It’s the least I could do. Besides, I was starving too.”

“In other words, you’re taking advantage of my fridge?”

“Exactly.”

Just as you’re drying your hands, he’s about to leave. “I’ll get going, lecture’s starting in a few. And, uh, thanks for letting me stay here.”

You just shoot him a weird look. “You already thanked me once. How often do you wanna repeat yourself?”

Jisung rolls his eyes. “Fine, next time I’ll just leave without a word then.”

It’s when he’s finally out of the door that his last words sink in.

“Yo, I have pics of sweaty Changbin in a jersey. How much do you wanna pay for those gems?”

You nearly choke on air. “What the fuck?” Really, that’s the only appropriate reaction.

“Hyunjin, this needs more context.” Felix looks like he’s seriously second-guessing his taste in men before shaking it off with a sigh and elaborates. “He’s been trying to find out some scoop about Chan for the campus blog and caught him in his angry boxer mode and Changbin was also there assisting him. Hey, did you know that Chan doesn’t tape his hands before punching the bag? Fuck, that’s so intimidating but so hot at the same time—“

“Yah! I’m your boyfriend! How can you say that in front of me?!”

Changbin. Changbin in a jersey. Changbin in a jersey and drenched in sweat. And Hyunjin seriously has HQ pictures of that Changbin.

It really, absolutely shouldn’t have been the first thing that crossed your mind, but the idea of that Changbin — bonus if he still has anger pent up in him — barging into your place and instantly throwing you on the bed—

“I’m not a perverted creep who’s gonna buy pictures of him that he doesn’t even know exist. Besides, isn’t that a violation of his rights? He never consented to those pics. This is college, you’re only working for the campus blog, not fucking Dispatch.” you deadpan.

“So you don’t even want to take a sneak peek at a picture?”

“No.”

You barely stepped a foot into your apartment when Jisung storms out of his own place and stops in front of you. “You fucking liar.”

“Excuse me? What the— hmph!”

The next thing you know, Jisung forces his way into your hallway, slams the door shut and crowds you against it. His face is invading your personal space, eyes enraged and jaw locked. Even though his anger is far from justified as you haven’t glanced at him ever since he stayed over, a tiny part of you believes that you pissed him off for good. It's not the first time you witness him angry. However, it's the first time you witness him look as if someone murdered his family and was trying to get revenge.

“I thought you took care of it yourself!”

“Took care of what?”

“Did you already forget that I can read your mind?!”

You scrunch your nose, trying to connect the dots in his words. It doesn't take long for you to realize that there’s no point in trying. A frustrated groan leaves you. “Why are you getting so riled up? I just breathed and you stormed into my place!”

“‘Bullshit. You weren’t just breathing,” he snaps, and you flinch when his hand lands a few inches beside your face with a loud pang. “You were thinking of Changbin again! And I mean that in the thousand sex positions and locations you want him to bang you kind of thinking! And also—“

“Also what?”

“I know you’ve been pent up for days. Seriously, why don’t you just get off like every other sane human being?”

His brutal delivery leaves you flabbergasted. How the fuck does he know that? No. No. No. He doesn’t know. He can’t. Just because he can read your mind doesn’t mean that you didn’t pleasure yourself after giving him that blowjob. Jisung’s probably bluffing — he has to be bluffing.

“W-why should I answer you?” you stutter. Suddenly the walls look much more interesting. When was the last time you painted the walls? Maybe it’s time to switch things up—

“Are you really about to get all cocky with me? Give me a break.” Jisung chews on his bottom lip after little deliberation. “You wanna know why? Because one of my best friends is going through a hard time that can utterly destroy his entire future thanks to the fucking universe! If that isn’t stressful as it is, I also see and hear all kinds of things you want Changbin to do to you. And your fantasies are also affecting me.”

You stare at him as if he sprouted eight new legs. “So you’ve also been…?”

“Sexually frustrated? Fuck yes. And it’s all your fault. So take responsibility and do something against it before I do.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“So what if I am?”

A cold shiver runs down your spine once you meet his stone-cold gaze. Frustration is displayed all over his features, from his labored breaths to the raised brow. He’s not playing mind games this time, he’s actually frustrated.

There are a billion red flags, a billion blinking signs saying NO DON’T YOU EVEN THINK OF DOING THIS! DON’T BE A FUCKING IDIOT in your mind. There are so many countless reasons why you should listen to your head, but the way Jisung is lusting after you is terrifyingly attractive.

You don’t trust your voice to respond verbally. Instead, you look down at your trembling hand and tug at the hem of his shirt. It’s just then when you also realize that your thighs are clenched. Fuck.

Jisung takes the hint. In the blink of an eye, he’s yanking you to your room, kicks the door shut with a loud ‘thud’, and manhandles you on the bed. You’re too stunned to react, and gulp when he hovers over you and strips off his jacket, leaving him in a white shirt that doesn’t hide his toned arms.

“Use the color system, alright? Green when everything is alright, yellow when you want me to slow down, and red when you want me to stop for good?” he asks.

“I know what the color system is,” you mutter, tearing your eyes away from him.

“That’s not an answer to my question.” he presses.

“Fine, color system it is. There! Happy? Now get on with it—“

Jisung pins your wrists above your head vigorously. “You don’t call the shots here. I do.”

Your stomach swoops. You really should’ve listened to your brain. This Jisung isn’t comparable with the Jisung you sucked off a few days ago. That Jisung was cocky — he’s always cocky, what are you even saying — but he still gave you room to breathe. This Jisung is downright scary.

“Good thing for you, I know exactly what you want me to do—” he starts sinisterly as his thigh settles firmly between your legs, pressing up against your clothed core. You suddenly regret wearing a skirt. “—and trust me baby, even if I couldn’t read your mind, I would do all those things because that’s what I plan on doing to you regardless.”

The look he gives you should be illegal. He shouldn’t be in the position to look down at you, as if he’s the king and has free reign over the consequences you are about to bear. Your head suddenly feels dizzy, and it’s way too hot in the room. It’s as if your bedroom has morphed into some vacuum as you’re desperately trying to breathe. Your system ceases to function once he presses his thigh even harder on your cunt, and all you manage to make is a pathetic whimper.

A menacing grin makes its way to his face. He’s clearly thriving on this ego-boost and continues to grind his thigh on you until your hips start to sway along. It seems like you found your voice again once he leans down and nibbles on your neck. Your moans are barely audible at first, but they slowly turn into drawn out mewls and labored breaths.

Your eyes snap open when he suddenly retreats his thigh and holds your hip in a vice grip, stopping you from moving. “W-what the fuck? Why did you stop?”

“Tell me what you want me to do.”

“Huh?” You squint at him. “But you can read my mind!”

“I want you to say it out loud.”

There’s no way in the universe that you’ll do that. You’ll gladly wipe off that shit-eating grin out of his face whether he likes it or not, but with his hold on your wrists, that is deemed impossible.

You should say something out loud though. Yellow. That would save you from the humiliation. You could regain at least an ounce of control, not feel so pathetic anymore. It’s a simple word, just two syllables, six letters. The tables can be turned to your advantage. It’s easy.

You don’t.

“You’re embarrassed, aren’t you? You can’t say all those filthy thoughts in your head out loud because you’re ashamed, huh? Not when you love feeling so powerless, subject to anything I do to you. Face it baby, just admit that you’re a needy little bitch who wants to get off on my fingers so bad, and I’ll give you what you want,” Jisung growls in between hot, wet kisses he leaves on your neck.

“I—“ you whimper after some difficulties, “I’m your needy little bitch w-who wants to get off on your fingers.”

Jisung’s head pipes up, his face just hovering a couple of inches away from yours. With that little distance between you, you know it’s not a trick of the light and that his eyes are blown up with hunger, hunger, and more hunger. "Not just any bitch, but mine? Do you like it when I call you mine?"

You nod. From there on, it’s a chain reaction.

He wastes no time slipping his fingers past your panties, mindlessly trailing along your folds. You throw your head back in pleasure, bucking your hips into his touch. A cry leaves you the moment he slips a finger inside you, his thumb simultaneously flicking your clit. It’s sensory overload, rendering your rationality to a standstill.

Your utter downfall is marked once Jisung adds a second finger, never slowing down. He groans at the way you clench around him like a maniac, and the sounds he makes send jolts all over your body. You’re writhing under his grasp at this point, overstimulated by everything yet at the same time, you feel your arousal slowly fading.

“Does my baby feel good? Are you close?” Jisung asks, nipping on your earlobe.

“I don’t know,” you whisper.

“What do you mean, ‘you don’t know’?”

The pit in your stomach grows. You’ve never experienced claustrophobia, but right now, it’s like everything’s suffocating you. “A-as in I don’t fucking know!” you exclaim shakily.

Jisung stops his movements. The weight on your wrists is lifted, and he looks at you, face unreadable. “(y/n), color. What’s your color?”

“Green. It’s just...” your trail off, avoiding his eyes.

“Just...?”

“I’ve never come before,” you confess in defeat. You really can’t believe that Jisung out of all people is the one to make the call of judgment. “I mean it! I’ve tried getting myself off but I never managed to... so cut me some fucking slack because I’m trying my best here and am still new to everything!”

Jisung stays silent. He stares at you in… confusion? disbelief? You really have no clue how to read his expression. Something negative for sure, though. He’s Satan’s spawn, for fuck’s sake. He’s probably thinking twice about going down on you, thinking about the gravity of a mistake he’s dealing with this time. He just has no clue how to articulate his irritation—

“You’re so cute, fucking hell,” he whispers.

You do a double-take. What? What did he say?

A small chuckle escapes his lips. As if he doesn’t mind. Wait. He doesn’t mind. “I’ll take good care of you. Trust me on this,” he says.

“That’s a little late coming from you, your fingers are literally up my vagi— h-ha-aah—“

“Just shut up and let me do the work.” Jisung rolls his eyes as he works you up again, fingers moving at a slower pace this time. Within minutes, he’s reduced you into a panting, stuttering mess. “You look so tiny and helpless underneath me. How adorable,” he coos, to which you just whine.

“Yeah? You like it when I call you tiny? Like it when your tight cunt already feels stuffed with just two fingers? Maybe we should stretch it to a third one, think you can handle that?” he presses on. That’s when he rams his fingers into a particular spot, making you arch your back. A knowing smile makes its way onto his lips. “Found it.”

“N-no, fuck— t-too much—” you babble, but he continues to abuse your sweet spot without remorse.

An unfamiliar pressure builds up in your abdomen, threatening to burst. Your whines grow louder, breaths shallower. You squeeze your eyes shut as you thrust your hips into his hand, desperate for more friction. “Jisung, I think I’m gonna—”

“Oh no, not like this,” he growls. “Keep your eyes open. I want you to look at me when you cum. So you’ll remember that it was me who made you cum for the first time. It’s me who’s making you feel good.”

That is easier said than done. You manage to open your eyes, though with a lot of difficulties. Scratch that, your eyes are barely open. Jisung is a blurry image, and you’re unable to register everything he says, the sound of his fingers squelching in your heat blaring in your ears.

You deem it fucking impossible to keep your eyes open when your orgasm hits you hard, body spasming from the sensation. But you keep on trying, keep forcing to set your eyes on him.

It’s all worth it though when the reward you get is a proud smile on his face, as well as streams of praises coming from his mouth.

It’s a continuous pattern that goes as follows:

1. You spend your days glued to your friends.

2. At least one of them (usually, it’s Seungmin) preaches how you should get your shit together and ask Changbin out.

3. Somehow, Changbin manages to leave a strong presence in your fantasies and you end up daydreaming about a scenario that stars him, you and a bed (if you’re feeling more daring, any other kind of surface or object he could pound you into.)

4. Jisung notices and forces the horniness out of your system.

5. You tell yourself that it’s the last time Jisung has such control over you.

And then the cycle repeats.

But here’s the thing: you find yourself doing no. 5 you with less conviction the more it happens. No. 5 is a formality at this point. You don’t know when you went the wrong path, but are you really in a position to complain? Jisung is good with you, he’s good with his fingers, even better with his mouth.

But then there’s this side of Jisung after he’s ruined you. He knows what you want to eat after you’re all cleaned up, knows what show you want to watch, knows if you want to just drop dead in bed or need someone to force you to finish your uni assignments. In short: Jisung is good. If you ever said that out loud and someone caught wind of it, they might assume that you liked him.

But Changbin. You like Changbin. You like Changbin you like Changbin you like Changbin—

You like Changbin, right?

“You’ve been looking at me as if I had the word CLOWN written over my forehead. Do I have something on my face or what?” you cross your arms and are met with your friends quickly averting their eyes from you.

Felix is the first one to break the silence. “Is that a new dress?”

“Not really. I recently found it when I cleared out my closet and decided to give it one more try. Why—“ you pause, and your expression turns grim once it dawns on you. “I look ridiculous in this, don’t I?”

“Yeah.”

“No!”

“You look like a clown.”

“Seungmin-Hyung, did you really just???”

If your crippling self-esteem hadn’t reached its all-time low before, then it definitely did now. “Geez, thanks,” you deadpan.

Jeongin is panicking, trying to provide some damage control as Felix snaps at Hyunjin and Seungmin. “Nobody cares about your two cents!”

“Well, but she asked for our opinion!”

“Nobody cares about your honest two cents!”

“Let’s just have lunch at the burger place and talk about this later, Hyung!”

You’re still dazed, chuckling dryly like those cartoon characters usually do when their soul leaves their body after someone dragged them. The entire situation is downright sad to witness. Is this a sign that your period is coming soon? That’s it! That probably explains why you’re acting so uncharacteristically sensitive today—

“The dress suits you, (y/n). You should wear it more often,” Changbin says.

“Hah?” you flinch and you’re sure your soul actually left your body when you turn to face Changbin smiling genuinely at you. Out of your periphery, you see Jisung and Chan behind him, but that’s not the point.

What? The? Fuck? Did he really just? Did Changbin just… compliment you?

You don’t realize how long you’ve dumbly stared at him until Jeongin nudges you. “Uhhhh, thanks!” you squeak out, cringing at how your voice just went up by an octave. You can feel Jeongin facepalming internally at your response, but you don’t blame him; you’d most likely do the same.

Changbin just smiles before he turns away to get to his next class, tugging Jisung and Chan with him.

Nevermind. Wearing this dress was the best decision you’ve made in your entire college career. The way you suddenly beam almost gives Felix whiplash — it’s obvious in the way he stares at you as if he ended up watching a comedy instead of the melodrama he was expecting. Hyunjin seems just as flabberghasted, Jeongin is still cringing from the secondhand embarrassment, and Seungmin just grins.

“Ah, so lover boy is the reason, I see.”

You roll your eyes at him. “Oh my god, just shut up, Seungmin.”

Jisung is eating you out with such fervor that has you sobbing and thrashing around. He’s merciless in every literal sense, keeping your hips planted on the couch with his hands to the point where veins are bulging out, and lapping up your juices with his tongue, continuing even though you already came. He only pulls away, lips glistening in your release, once you tug on his hair despite his orders to not do that.

“Already spent now? But baby, we just started.” he pouts. “Or is it because it’s me? Would you defy if Changbin was the one eating you out?”

You stare at him with blown out eyes. Why the fuck is he bringing up Changbin now? The words hang heavy in your throat and are threatening to burst, but the death stare he delivers stops you from doing so.

Something’s not right.

“Don’t tell me... you’re wet again because I just mentioned Changbin. Changbin this, Changbin that, huh? It’s always only Changbin, Changbin, Changbin. And I thought I was doing you good all along,” he rages, making you flinch. He can be terrifying when he wants to be, but this time, he seems completely out of it. “You know what? I’m fucking done with holding back. You’re mine, got it?”

With that, he dives back into your cunt, sucking harshly on your clit as he slides a finger in you. You try to pry him off, but his weight is restraining you to the sofa.

“Jisung, it hurts— ouch—“ Panic starts to rise in you when he finally detaches himself from your nub, but instead, moves down to your thighs and starts sucking on the skin with a force much harder than you’re used from him. “What are you doing? S-stop—!”

“You’re mine, you’re supposed to be mine. I am literally written on your skin. So why can’t you just wish to be with me? Do I have to mark you up so that you’ll finally get it?”

It hurts. It hurts. Once you feel teeth on your skin, you burst into tears. “Red, Jisung, red!”

As if it was the spell to break the cast, Jisung finally snaps out of it. His features break once his eyes meet yours. Regret sticks onto him like a second skin, and he slightly moves his hand in an attempt to reach out to you. Your muscles react faster though, and you instinctively pull your legs towards yourself and shy away from him. The way his face drops by another layer of remorse tugs at your heartstrings, but the impending fear overpowers everything else you’re feeling.

“What’s going on? What went over you?” you ask.

Jisung’s breath is shaky. He feverishly opens his mouth several times, but no sound is coming out. He’s struggling to find the right words, maybe trying to find a somewhat reasonable justification for his behavior. In the end, he lets out a defeated sigh. “I can’t do this anymore without having feelings—” his voice is weak and vulnerable and you’ve never witnessed him break down like this before, “—I like you. I like you the way you like Changbin. I just...”

Silence.

“Leave,” you whisper, but in this silence, your voice rings out loud and clear. This is… too much weight for your heart to carry.

Jisung complies. He grabs his belongings from the floor, slips on his shirt, and leaves with his head hung low. His footsteps grow more and more distant, but then he stops.

“Are you really in love with Changbin?” His voice cracks.

You don’t muster up the courage to face him. “Just read my mind.”

It’s silent again. Too overwhelming. You’re waiting for yet another outburst of him, waiting for his “I want you to say it out loud”, because that’s how the conversation always goes.

The last thing you hear is the front door falling in its lock with a soft click.

You like Changbin. You like Changbin you like Changbin you like Changbin you like—

You like him, right?

Things have changed.

You and Jisung haven’t crossed paths ever since, not even passed each other by in the hallways. It’s weird since you’ve grown used to seeing him every day outside of your apartment complex. You’ve never really acknowledged each other’s presence with a wave or something in the sorts; it was just a second where your eyes met, and then your days went on.

That being said, you run into Changbin quite frequently. If you ever exchanged words, it’s nothing more than friendly small talk and the one or other compliment about his music. Talking to Changbin is nice; he makes you smile.

You know a little bit more about Changbin now, like his favorite ice cream flavor or the fact that he has a pokemon plushie named Gyu. It’s cute, and you chuckle when you think about how you’d pay good money for that information a few weeks ago.

Changbin is nice, and there’s nothing more to the story.

The chaotic quartett you call your friends however, doesn’t seem to buy it. They are loud and nosey and have eyes, so it was set in stone that they’d tease you about it sooner or later. It’s all fun and games, and you played along with it at first, because that’s how you guys are. But as time went on, when the banter became so repetitive and blown out of proportion to the point where they have made clowning you about your small interactions with Changbin the pinnacle of their entertainment, you’ve begun to be fed up by it.

“Will you finally stop bringing him up in an indecent manner every single lunch break? Or even better, stop bringing him up altogether?” You snap, which shocks everyone at the table because you never snap.

Nobody has time to react as you quickly stomp away to grab some fresh air. You mutter out every curse under the sun, not intending to let your anger take over you this much. You’ve only made it past the door when Felix catches up to you, placing a hand over your shoulder.

“(y/n), what’s the matter? Clearly, something’s bothering you. And I know it’s not because of just Seungmin.” Concern is woven in his smooth voice.

You have to admit, it was a smart and calculated move from your friends to send Felix your way. He’s always been the compassionate one out of your little friend group. Like a pillar, he’s the one who keeps you all grounded (and he’s the one to drive your asses back home after the wild Alpha Beta Gamma frat parties).

“I don’t like Changbin that way, I realized. So it’d be very much appreciated if you asses didn’t allude to that every time,” you huff.

Felix sends you an understanding smile. “We can work that out. You know that Hyunjin and Seungmin in particular can be insensitive and sometimes don’t realize they’ve taken things too far..”

“Fine, but that’s not the main thing that’s eating me up alive, Felix.” you sigh. The words seem to flow out of your mouth like a waterfall. “I’ve realized I’ve never really liked Changbin. Okay, fine, he was just a crush I had but I don’t like him.”

He nods slowly, his brain processing your ramble. “So you like someone else.”

“Yes. And I don’t know how to fix it because we got into a huge fight.”

“Talk to them. That’s the only thing left to do.” His response is immediate, and he says it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Every relationship has its ups and downs, and if you want to be committed, you have to fight for it. If you were made for one another, you’ll make it.”

The last part makes you laugh internally. If only he knew.

“Let me guess, you expect me to barge into his place to sort things out,” you say.

Felix gives you the look of judgment. “I mean, you could also show some human decency and text him in advance so he’s also prepared. But that works fine too.”

Come to think of it, you’ve never been to Jisung’s apartment. That’s about to change when you knock on his door sometime in the evening, shortly after sunset.

Jisung’s face immediately drops once he opens the door. “What are you doing here?” His voice is soft, drenched in regret.

It’s not that his appearance has reached rock bottom. He still takes good care of himself; however, you pick up the dark circles under his eyes and his complexion seems a little paler. Not sickeningly pale, but in a sense that he hasn’t seen the light of day for a few consecutive days.

You shift your weight on one leg and fiddle with your fingers. “Can we talk?”

Jisung gulps. “Yeah, sure,” he mumbles after a moment of hesitation before inviting you in.

“I’ve thought a long time about this. Everything, really,” you start awkwardly as soon as you’re both standing stiffly in his living room. “I, um…”

You cringe inwardly as your voice trails off. Truth be told, you’ve rehearsed what you wanted to say many times a few hours ago. Even wrote down the entire speech. Then threw the draft away, only to compose a new one. And then again and again and again. After what felt like an eternity, you had polished your final speech and memorized it from top to bottom, even making sure that your flow sounded natural. But now that this is the real deal, your mind goes blank. Of course, of fucking course, your illiterate brain had to give up on you in the situation that mattered the most.

Jisung purses his lips. “Do you want something to drink first? No need to rush—”

“I don’t like Changbin!” you blurt out. Jisung stares at you in confusion. “I mean, I used to like Changbin — I still do, he’s a nice guy! Don’t get me wrong — but that’s all he is. He’s… nice. I like him, as a friendly guy. I had a crush on him, but now it’s just, uh, like. Platonic! Yeah, platonic.”

Despite him nodding slowly, you know that he is still lost. You would be too if you were on the receiving end of this painfully clumsy delivery.

You give yourself a mental slap as you take a deep breath. It can’t get any worse than this. Definitely impossible. You’ve already proven to him how bad your public speaking skills are. Might as well get over it with the bluntest words. “I miss you. And not because of the sexual things we did, but everything else. I miss you coming over, miss the movie night, and all that. I miss you, Jisung.”

He stares at you silently. Your eyes search his face for any sign of emotion, and for one too many times, Jisung is impossible to read. Okay, perhaps you did manage to tell him what you wanted to tell him even worse than whatever the fuck your initial attempt was.

But then his blank armor cracks. Little by little, his eyes soften, disbelief and remorse on display for you to see. Jisung is looking at you as if his world has fallen apart even more. He’s looking at you as if he’s clinging to the last threads of reason, trying to make sense of the situation. He’s looking at you with eyes that could hold stars behind them, stars that were supposed to burn out yet shine brighter than the universe.

“How can you say that? I hurt you. I made you cry! I was being a selfish asshole who put out his anger on you!” he exclaims, voice breaking towards the end. Pain clouds his red eyes, and he’s fighting to keep the tears at bay.

You slowly prod closer to him, testing the waters. He doesn’t react once, not even when you stand directly in front of him. Not even when you gently place your hands on a shoulder each. Not until you say, “It’s alright. I’m alright. No hard feelings.”

That’s his breaking point. Tears stream down his face, while quiet hiccups jump out of his throat. “How can you be so nice to me?” His sobs are muffled as he eases into your touch, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. Instinctively, he wraps his arms around your waist, clinging onto you as if you’re his lifeline.

The answer is simple, you say to yourself, as you thread a hand in his hair. “We’re soulmates.”

The weight of the words hangs in the air, shattering the previous tension and all the worries in your heart. It’s liberating, finally being able to say it out loud without feeling like an abnormality for saying those words with happiness. You’re soulmates. You’re soulmates, and that’s okay.

Jisung’s sobs resound throughout the room, and so do his countless, tiny yeah, we are’s. You need a moment before you register the wetness on your face. It feels like an eternity standing in his warm embrace, even after there are no more tears left to cry.

“Can I kiss you?” Your voice is quiet, barely above a whisper, but Jisung catches it. two fingers gently lift your chin so that you’re facing him. You almost melt when your eyes meet, his gaze filled with adoration that makes you want to burst at the seams.

“Yeah. I’d love that.” Jisung smiles.

It costs you your willpower to tear your eyes away from him before they flutter down to his lips. Despite his bottom lip being a little cracked, they look inviting and you wonder what they taste like. You expect him to nudge you, expect him to tell you to hurry up and do something because you’re pretty sure you’re staring at his lips for far too long.

He doesn’t. The grip on your chin is loose as if to tell you to take your time and go at your own pace. But the longer you wait, the more reluctance builds up. It’s a lot of power he’s given you; hell, it’s the first time he hands the reigns to you.

“Can you… uhm… I’ve never done this before, so yeah…” you look at him with a crooked smile.

The breathless chuckle that leaves him sounds like music to your ears. Jisung moves his hand to the back of your neck before closing the distance between you.

The kiss is short and sweet, but that alone suffices to make the butterflies in your stomach burst. The faint taste of coke lingers on him, and before you know it, you’re kissing again. Jisung’s lips are like an addiction, reeling you back in for another one. Somewhere along the way, the kisses change. Innocent presses of lips are long forgotten, replaced by teeth playfully tugging on your bottom lip, and Jisung kissing you deeper to the point where he steals all oxygen out of your lungs.

Your hands slide down his chest, tugging on his shirt. Startled by your bold actions, he pulls away, but you catch him back into another liplock that leaves the two of you breathless. All you can think of clearly is Jisung Jisung Jisung—

This time he forces himself away from you. Gasping for air, he places his forehead on yours. “If we go farther than this, then I don’t know if I can control myself.” His warning is barely above a whisper.

“Then don’t,” you whisper back.

That’s all the reassurance he needs before leading you to his bedroom, all the whilst latching onto your lips once more. He doesn’t let go of you until your back hits the soft mattress and he’s on top of you. Warm, slightly calloused hands trail from your cheeks to the hem of your shirt.

“Color?”

“Green,” you respond, smiling up at him. The sun has long vanished at the horizon, replaced by the dim moon and stars. Despite only a little light surging past the blinds into the room, you can see Jisung’s features crystal clear. The endearing smile is cast into the back of your mind, so is the delicacy in his touch, fingertips lightly grazing your skin as he sheds all your clothes off until you’re left in your underwear. After hearing your complaints, he discards his own clothes with an amused glint in his eyes.

Jisung takes his time pounding every single detail of your features into his memory. His hands roam all over your body, inciting goosebumps. You lean into his touch with a sigh and flit your gaze to him once he stops on a particular spot.

The look on his face is unreadable, but the hesitation in his voice speaks for itself. “Does this bug you?” he asks, uncertainty laced in it as he runs his finger over each character of his name that’s inked under your collarbone. You shake your head with a hum that turns into a soft moan once he leaves kisses on the spots his finger burned before, one for each letter. Eventually, his actions spiral out to sucking lovebites and rutting his bulge against your heat, enticing louder whines out of you. Your vision morphs into blurriness as you move your hips in sync with his, locking your arms around his neck to pull him even closer to you.

“(y/n), baby…” Jisung heaves for air, “Is it okay if I…?.”

“Please,” you mewl, “want you inside me.” Your desperation must’ve shone through your tone, as Jisung presses a loving kiss on your forehead before he reaches over to the nightstand for a condom, grinning like a lovesick idiot.

In books and movies, this is the part where the virgin would reach peak nervousness. Too many fears would be inhabiting their mind; the fear of pain, fear of not fulfilling their partner’s needs, fear of the entire situation, essentially. Whatever they depict in those books and movies, it doesn’t match up with the warmth and want pumping in your veins. Even after Jisung slipped your and his underwear off and slid the condom on his leaking cock, there’s no sign of fear bubbling in you. It’s rather the opposite; you nudge him to finally slide into you.

“So impatient,” he tuts playfully, and because he can’t help being a bit sadistic, he teases your dripping entrance with the tip of his cock. Tears begin to form in your eyes from the frustration of clenching around nothing. You feel like crying for good once he slowly pushes into you. The stretch feels unfamiliar and completely different than what you’re used to from his fingers, but it’s not unpleasant as you throw your head back. While you’re adjusting to his girth, Jisung observes your every expression, faltering whenever you scrunch your eyes shut.

“You still there?” he asks in hushed tones, caressing your cheek.

In awe about his concern, you nod. “I’m fine. It’s just… new. I’ve never done this, but I guess you already figured that out.” It takes you a moment to catch your breath, and then you give him the green light to continue.

The way Jisung has your hands firmly against the bed lacks the usual roughness; he isn’t gripping your wrists as if he’s about to cut off your blood circulation. This time, he has intertwined his fingers with yours as if he doesn’t ever want to let go of you. A firework of colors and stars is all you see as he thrusts into slow and deep and with all the passion he has to offer. His lips don’t leave space for a breather either; he kisses you with so much fervor that it swallows your heart up whole. At that instant, you realize that he’s claimed your heart and isn’t going to give that up any time soon. You don’t mind, because you know that you’ve committed the same crime.

It’s not long after until you feel the orgasm building up. Jisung brings one hand down to flick your clit, and just like that, you unravel beneath him. His own release follows suit, a muffled groan coming from his lips as he spills into the condom.

It’s quiet for a moment, no words spoken between you except for harsh breathing. Eventually, Jisung slides his softening dick out of you and disappears for a moment to clean up, returning with a damp towel for you to freshen up a little, as well as a glass of water.

“I think I won’t be able to walk tomorrow,” you say after you gulped down the drink in one go, voice devoid of emotion. A laugh leaves Jisung. The way you deliver it is so casual as if he didn’t just have his dick in you minutes before. “Also, isn’t this the part where we should cuddle?”

“So bossy, your royal majesty.” He even takes a bow before he climbs back on the bed, pulling the covers over your bodies, and scooting up to you. He says something else, but you don’t register what exactly. All you care about is being wrapped in his warm embrace. The stench of sweat isn’t prominent on him anymore. Instead, it’s a huge cloud of Axe overpowering your senses. You would complain, but you’re too blissed out to bother.

Jisung must’ve noticed at a certain point that you’ve wandered to daydream paradise. “You’ve been quiet for a while. A penny for your thoughts.”

“But you can read my mind.”

“I want you to say it out loud.” His answer comes like a shot while his hand is brushing through your hair. “That, and your thoughts are too jumbled and my head is going to malfunction if I try to decode everything running in your head right now.”

The corners of your lips quirk upwards. “I’m just thinking about how we did everything in the wrong order. It’s just now that we kissed, before that I only sucked you off or something. We’re so fucked up.”

“If you word it that way, we definitely didn’t follow the book.” Jisung laughs in agreement. The vibrations from his chest causes you to bubble up in warmth.

“I don’t mind, though. That’s not the point. I’m happy.” You don’t have to look up to know that his eyes lit up. “Jisung, I’m happy that you’re mine.”

The hold around your waist tightens, and you feel a soft kiss being pressed on top of your head. “And I’m happy that you’re mine.”

In another lifetime, another universe, you probably wouldn’t have to go through these struggles. Society would normalize having someone that completes you. You wouldn’t go through countless stages of denial, countless stages of frustration, and countless stages of doubt.

In another lifetime, another universe, you potentially could’ve been on even worse terms. Just like in those cyberpunk movies, maybe you two would be enemies, one fighting alongside the government, the other assisting the villain who tries to overthrow the system. Star-crossed lovers, that’s what you two would be dubbed as.

In another lifetime, another univer—

No need to fantasize about what could be. The only lifetime that matters is this lifetime, this universe, your reality. In reality, people like you live in hiding. In reality, society is doubtful towards people with soulmates. In reality, people like you are destined for a tragedy. It’s taken you a long time to wrap it around your head.

That’s alright though. You’re alright. You’ll always be alright. The universe might have not played in your favor in this lifetime, but you still found each other. Perhaps, the universe will be more forgiving towards you in your next lifetime. Or the one after. Who knows? Whatever happens, at least you know you have one person you’re bound to meet wherever you are, whenever you are. One person who won’t ever let go of you. One person you won’t ever let go of.

“Yeah, I’m yours.”

#i'm never writing a oneshot again this is too stressful for my heart #stray kids smut #skz smut #han jisung smut #jisung smut #stray kids dark hours #dom!jisung #sub!reader #jijiri.txt #smut.mine #i winged the ending so pls go easy on me dlskjflkjsa

5K notes · View notes

liliesoftherain · 4 years

Text

Persevere though Forsaken

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, nonphysical

A/N: This was for my server collab!

Masterlist! Check everyone else out!

“Kya, let's talk about our soulmates!”

Soulmates.

The mere notion of having someone else considered to be your perfect half was daunting, to say the least. Having a mark on your skin, just to remind you that your sole purpose in this life was just to find that other person.

It was all a little too much for you honestly.

On your fourth birthday is when your life had changed forever, not only did you receive your quirk but you had also received your soulmark. The intricate patterns of flowers and clouds on your shoulder had you swooning, but the intimidating snake in the midst of it all caused you unease. Of course, every soulmark had a reason for being the way it was, only matching that of your soulmates, but at a mere four you could only fear the harsh animal that would be forever there. Your mother had tried to sooth you, stating that snakes could have multiple meanings and that there was no need to fear them or your mark, but you had never liked snakes very much either way.

Even so, at your young age you had been joyful overall, knowing that this was an important mark and it would one day lead to your happily-ever-after. Fantasies of meeting the one plagued your thoughts, longing to know the feeling that would come once your marks would combine. It was a beautiful sight supposedly, the way each tattoo would take a copy of itself and intertwine together, just like your souls were supposed to be.

Yet as you grew, those feelings of excitement grew into dread. You began to wonder, to worry, if your soulmate was really your perfect match. Wasn’t there no such thing as perfect, so how could there be someone that completed you to such a degree?

There were countless horror stories of how soulmates found one another and it was nothing they dreamed of, nothing they expected. Many said it was due to the wrong lifetimes, not meeting where they should have, or meeting in a time of this current life where they weren’t as stable as previous lives. Whatever the reason, you didn’t want any of it anymore. Not after seeing it all break down right in front of your eyes, you wanted nothing to do with them if you turned out exactly like them. What if your soulmate and you were exactly this? What if you two just weren’t compatible; what if they stood for everything you were against?

You wanted to be a hero, no matter what that was the path you wanted to go down and no one could stop you; you could only imagine the pain you’d feel if your supposed other was the very thing you swore to stop, a villain.

Applying to U.A. was your first step, and now with one year left you swore to yourself you wouldn’t let anything get in your way. You weren’t looking to be pulled in by hopes of a perfect ending, you were willing to carve your own.

“Ne, your guys’ are so pretty!” You snapped out of your thoughts at Hagakure’s voice.

You glanced in the direction everyone was looking at to see Jiro and Momo showing their matching forearms. You had to admit, their soulmarks were lovely; a beautiful backdrop of a lake with two sakura petals caught mid dance, frozen forever on skin barley grazing a lake below.

“You should have seen the way the petals fluttered down together when we connected our arms,” Momo said, a shy smile on her lips, “I’ve never seen a more beautiful connection.”

“That’s the only soulmark connection you’ve seen, Momo.” Jiro laughed, rolling her sleeve back down as she nudged her girlfriend.

“Your point?”

You all laughed, taking turns looking at everyone's marks and theorizing about their significant others until all eyes fell onto you.

“You know (y/n), we’ve all kinda seen everyone else’s before, but never yours.” Mina stated, looking at you with playfully narrowed eyes.

“You’re always wearing a cover or shirt long enough to hide it!” Tsu pointed out.

“Well,” you started, rubbing the back of your head nervously, “I’m not really into the whole soulmate thing, you guys know, so I hide it I guess.”

“Really? I didn’t know that!” Uraraka gasped, scooting closer to you as she did.

“You didn’t know? It’s like the thought of soulmates makes (l/n) sick!” Jiro snickered, sticking her tongue out at you as you flipped her off.

“I don’t get sick, I just don’t see the point-no offense.”

“I agree when I say it isn’t for everyone.” Jiro shrugged.

“Can we see it anyways? Pleaseeee!” Hagakure bounced excitedly, hoping you would agree.

“I’m really curious as to what it looks like, kero.” Tsu agreed.

You only sighed as you stripped off your long-sleeve shirt, leaving you in your sweats and now tank top. The sounds of amazement made you blush as you presented your right shoulder, letting everyone see the detailed snake, it was wrapped around two different types of flowers in front of a giant moon and clouds. It was a lot larger than it used to be when you were younger, now covering almost your entire upper arm. As you grew, your mark did as well, keeping proportional to your body.

“Wow that’s beautiful!”

“It really is, look at how cool it looks.”

“Dude the snake is hardcore.”

“What kind of flowers are those, what do they represent?”

You glance down at your mark before looking back up with a shrug, “not sure.”

“You never wanted to know the symbolism of it?” Uraraka asked, eyes still scanning over the lines of permanent ink.

“When I was younger, sure, but I never bothered to look them up.”

“Well the larger flowers are magnolias,” Momo spoke out as she pointed to the ones that framed the bottom of the mark, “They tend to represent a multitude of things; beauty, purity, and gentleness, but the thing that stands out above all else is perseverance.”

“Perseverance huh, maybe your soulmate is going to have to persevere for a looong time to win you over with that attitude, (y/n).” Mina jokes, causing the rest of the girls to laugh and you to roll your eyes with a grin

“I’d like to see them try.”

“What about the top flowers, Momo?” Hagakure asked.

“Well, they look like anemone’s, and the most significant meanings are anticipation, protection, longing, and forsaken or forgotten love. These flowers rely on the winds to open them up, who knows, maybe all you need is the right wind to open you up.”

“I doubt that.” You deadpan.

“I’m surprised you know so much about flowers!”

Momo held her hands out, creating a couple of flowers with a grin, “Well, I like to know everything I can for my quirk!”

You watched as she put one of the flowers behind Jiro’s ear, and you felt a twinge at jealousy that you immediately shoved down. You couldn’t long for something as sincere as that, you didn’t have the time.

You should take the anemone’s advice and forsake the love altogether.

“Here, one for everyone!” Momo passed the flowers around, and you giggled as she forced you and everyone else to wear it behind the ear as well.

“Gosh, I don’t remember the last time we did this. It feels nice!”

“I agree, we all need to have girl time more often!”

“We don’t talk about things like this as often as we should, it really is a nice bonding moment isn’t it?”

“Ne, (y/n), speaking of bonding... What will you do if you do ever meet your soulmate?”

You glance at Uraraka, you knew she was always a little more interested in soulmate’s due to her crush on someone that wasn’t hers; so you figured you’d continue indulging her and your friends.

“If I’m going to be painfully honest, I hope I never do.”

Silence was met with your answer, and you knew everyone was keeping quiet out of respect for your feelings even if they didn’t particularly agree.

“I only say that because, I just don’t think there is that someone for me you know? I can’t imagine someone being perfect for me, this path we’re choosing is already hard enough, why...” you glance down at your hands, watching them clench up in determination, “Why should I hope for happiness when it isn’t guaranteed?” “Well, I hope you find that happiness. No matter what it looks like, we all deserve it.” Tsu spoke softly.

Everyone agreed, and you could only smile half-heartedly. It wasn’t that you wanted to be a downer, you just couldn’t get over the notion of not being happy. Maybe you were being too cynical, but seeing it first hands at home was really an eyeopener.

Soulmates couldn’t be trusted.

“I don’t know what I would do if I found mine, how awkward huh!” Mina chuckled, scratching her cheek nervously.

“It’s not easy,” Jiro blushed, glancing at her lover, “It is a pretty awkward conversation, isn’t it?”

“Oh most definitely, but it was all worth it in the end.”

“After the initial stutters and such.”

“I bet it was romantic though!” Hagakure swooned.

“All it took was Momo once in her costume, it wasn’t hard to find out after that!”

Everyone laughed once more, agreeing it was hard for the creation hero to hide anything because of the way her hero suit needed to be.

“Awh, we’re out of popcorn!” Uraraka groaned, pushing the empty bowl away.

“I’d go get some but, I’m too comfy here!” Mina snickered, cuddling into her cocoon of blankets she created.

“You’re such a baby Mina, I’ll go.” You flicked her forehead, grabbing the empty bowl and standing.

“Thanks hun, oh can you also bring me back a water?”

“Yea sure, any other orders?” You joked.

After receiving a small list you retreated out of the room and down the hall, towards the kitchens. You hear a couple of the boys who were still up in the common room and rolled your eyes at the way they were screaming at the T.V., raging at the video game battle currently going on. You passed by without a care, closing the door behind you to muffle the energetic shouts the best you could.

“Oh, hey (l/n)!”

You snap your head to the side and smile, noticing the redhead's hair is down and not in it’s usual spikes.

“Hey Kirishima, what are you doing in here, aren’t you missing the party out there.”

You walk forward, reaching into one of the cabinets and pulling out a packet of popcorn. You shuffle around Kirishima, as he was leaning against the counter closest to the microwave, something you needed for your snack run.

“Well if I were to try to eat this in there, it’d get spilled in the chaos.” He laughed, lifting up a bowl of cereal.

“Touché.” You smirked, punching the popcorn button and leaving the machine be as it whirred to life.

You set down the bowl you brought before going to the fridge, you were pulling out a few waters when you felt a stare on your body. You glance curiously at Kirishima to see the intense look on his face and raise a brow, confused as to what he was looking at. Following his line of sight, you stopped to your shoulder- your soulmark.

In your rush out of the room you forgot to put your overshirt back on, and you felt a bit of anxiety bubble in your chest. You tsk quietly, slamming the fridge door. The sound snapped him out of his daze, his eyes rushing up to meet your gaze.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to stare-”

“s’okay. I know I don’t normally show this off. I forgot I didn’t have it covered for a sec.” You shrug, walking back over next to him as your food beeped.

You opened the microwave, setting the waters down while collecting the hot bag of popcorn and opening it to pour it’s contents into the bowl. While doing so, you felt his stare on your mark once more. You didn’t really mind showing it off, letting the girls see it earlier was proof of that, but the way Kirishima’s face contorted; it was as if he knew something.

“What is it?”

“N-nothing!”

“What’s with the stuttering then?”

You narrowed your eyes as he looked panicked, but he tried playing it off by waving his arms frantically in the air as he gave a thumbs up.

“Haha, I better get back in there, and you should probably get back to the girls- see you tomorrow, (l/n)!”

“Yea… See you tomorrow.”

You both stood in awkward silence as you took your time gathering your items and he washed his dish. Turning on your heel, arms full, you made your way across the kitchen when you felt him rush up behind here.

“Here, lemme get that, your hands are full so be careful!” He grinned, hand coming over your frame to push the door open for you.

You gave him a smile, this gentleman-like personality was more suited than the one he tried taking on earlier.

The loud sounds once again invaded your ears, but there was less screaming than there was before. You look over towards the couches and catch a red gaze on your form. You smile shyly under his gaze, having to turn away in hopes he didn’t see the blush you knew had to be on your face. You were used to Bakugou’s piercing looks, but when caught off guard you had to calm your racing heart. You glance up at Kirishima who let the door fall, a grateful look on your face.

“Thanks Kirishima, awkward really doesn’t suit you yanno.” Laughing, you nudge his side.

“The fuck is that in your hair.”

A harsh voice stopped you in your tracks, and you looked at the ridgid blonde glaring at you.

Geez, what had him in a mood now? Must’ve lost a game or something.

You try the best you can to look at the side of your face, remembering the magnolia you had behind your left ear.

“A flower, stupid. Are you blind?”

He clicked his tongue at you, his glare leaving your form as he stared at Kirishima. There was a conversation they held with their eyes, and you felt awkward just standing there.

“Well, uh, goodnight then?”

You don’t wait for a response as you went back to the room, thinking about how strange those two were acting.

____

“Go change into your gym clothes, quickly now, I don’t want to wait around all day.” Aizawa sighed, giving the signal to leave the room.

You stand slowly, as you were tired from the night prior, only to be yanked on by Mina who was pumped for the mock battles to come.

“Jeez, Mina, I’m too tired for this much of your excitement.” You tsk’d, being dragged out of the classroom as she rushed towards the locker room.

“Look it’s not my fault that you stayed up all night last night doing whatever it is you do.”

“It’s called being a good student, I stayed up studying all weekend; you were the one who kept me and everyone else up friday night, talking our ears off about your dumb boy-bands.”

“DUMB- girl, they’re literally my entire life- my loves!”

You snort, rolling your eyes as she throws an arm frantically into the air.

“So dramatic.”

“If I ain’t dramatic, am I even me?”

You laugh, opening the door while holding it open for her. She enters first and you follow, letting the door fall shut behind you as you head towards your locker. You open it up to see your gym clothes, changing sluggishly. The rest of the girls soon entered and began to change, while you told Mina you’d wait outside for her.

“For being so hype to fight, you’re sure taking your sweet time getting dressed.”

“I’M SORRY I GOT SIDETRACKED!” She shouted, shaking Hagakure’s shoulders.

You waved her off, walking out of the changing room while stretching. Raising your arms up with a groan, you enjoy the few seconds of extension before allowing them to drop in a relaxed manner. You heard a grunt, and out of the corner of your eye you saw a body leaning against the wall by the boys locker room.

“Yo.” You called, a hand coming up to cover your mouth as a yawn slipped past.

“Tch,” Bakugou rolled his eyes, “Pulling an all-nighter was stupid.”

You pouted, now regretting texting the group chat at the late hour you did.

“It wasn’t an all-nighter, I was just studying for a few hours.”

“Until 4am?” His scoff caused you to frown, smacking his arm as you did.

“Don’t judge me! We all stay up late to study at one point.”

“Not me, stupid. Sleep is more important than trying to cram all that shit in at one time.” He grabbed your check and pinched, payback to you smacking him.

“Ow- let go idiot!” You grab his cheek back, much to his annoyance.

“Hah!? You’re the idiot, you let go!”

“What are you two doing?”

The sound of Todoroki’s voice caused you to jump away from Bakugou, face warm as you glanced in his direction.

“N-nothing!” You giggled nervously, embarrassed to have been caught so close to the hothead.

The boy in question went ridged, his glare deepening as he glanced at the intruder then back at you. You watched warily as Bakugou clenched his fist as he huffed, turning around and walking off to the gym alone.

“That was strange.” Todoroki said, confusion in his voice.

“Yea.” You agreed, staring at Bakugou’s retreating form till more students began to come out of the locker rooms.

You walk along with Mina, Sero, and Denki, and originally Kirisishima-until he ran off after Bakugou.

The wide eyed look on his face after you told him what happened had made you even more suspicious, these last few days have been weird to say the least. Kirishima had been dancing around you ever since that night in the kitchens, and Bakugou-while he was somewhat normal-had a shorter fuse than late. Anytime it was just you two he seemed fine, but add anyone else to the mix and he would be storming off the next second.

You were just glad he wasn’t ignoring you anymore, on saturday anytime you tried talking to him he would rush off, as if running away from you. You were getting fed up at the weird treatment, and were thankful it stopped only after the one day. You decided not to bring it up, knowing you didn’t need a moody Bakugou Katsuki ignoring you again.

Once inside the gym, Aizawa was waiting to give the proper instructions.

“It’s a mock battle, you know the drill; quirks allowed, keep the damage to a minimum, you win if they give up, or if you get this taped wrapped around them. Let’s choose your opponents.”

You all pulled letters, and quickly knew your opponent from the same corresponding letter. You heard an awkward chuckle and saw Deku quickly make his way over to you, holding up his matching paper.

“I think it’s going to be us fighting, (l/n)!”

“Looks that way, Midoriya! Sounds fun, I can't wait, you’ve gotten really good recently.” You praised him earnestly.

“R-really!?” His excitement came out in his shining eyes and wild arm gestures, the scene forcing you to stifle a laugh.

Izuku really had been improving rapidly this last year, and you were kinda proud of him, even if you rarely talked to him. It was times like this where you understood Uraraka’s feelings about him, even though she was embarrassed about it because he wasn’t her soulmate.

You thought back to the sleepover, how you grabbed her shoulders and said that it was her choice to love whoever she wanted; soulmates or not she shouldn’t let that dictate who she wants in her life. The rest of the girls also told her it would be worth trying, since soulmates aren't always guaranteed to be found.

You guess you were also telling Uraraka words you had also wanted to hear, since you couldn’t help but feel a little something more for a certain hothead. At first you hated the idea of feelings altogether, and desperately tried to get rid of anything more you felt, but later came to term that you couldn’t help that much. It wasn’t that you were scared of being in love, or having strong feelings, you were scared to be forced with someone who could be no good.

Not having a soulmate would make things much easier.

Midoriya had continued talking animatedly, waving his arms around and vividly talking about a topic you couldn’t keep up with. You were going to tell him to slow down when a rough shoulder knocked into him, causing Midoriya to stagger back.

“Get out of the fucking way, Deku.” Bakugou spat at the boy before walking off to the viewing area.

You glance at Deku who looks as bewildered as you felt, staring at his childhood friend’s back.

“Is Kaachan okay?” Midoriya turned back to face you, and all you could do was shrug.

“Honestly I don’t know.”

“Well, if anyone could get him in a better mood it’s you!” He beamed, and you raised a brow questioningly.

“What do you mean by that?”

You saw his jaw drop slightly as he blushed a bright red, waving his arms frantically with a nervous laughter.

“I, uh, I mean you guys are just really good friends! Th-that’s all!”

You narrow your eyes, unconvinced, yet you drop it anyway; simply agreeing with a small blush on your face before heading up to the viewing spot. Once inside the area, you chose to stand in between Uraraka and Mina.

For some reason as the matches went on, the antsier you felt. There was this bubbling feeling of nerves creeping up slowly and you tried pushing the feeling away. Sure, you may not win this fight against Midoriya, but you were as sure you wouldn’t go down without a fight. You thought yourself lucky to have a physical, strength base quirk. You were no prodigy, but you were by no means weak. You never backed down from a challenge, so you weren’t sure what was bringing this on.

“Bakugou, Todoroki, your turn.”

This was a battle you were determined to watch, you had no doubts in Bakugou’s ability, but Todoroki was his own force to be reckoned with. You held your breath as the signal was released, and they were off.

Both of them immediately went on the offense, Bakugou sending a large explosion and Todoroki countering with a large wall of ice. Bakugou jumped up, smashing through the ice with another explosion, and from there it was really hard to keep up with what was going on. Chunks of ice and large bouts of smoke filled the area, and you couldn’t even see their bodies at one point anymore, until Todoroki let out a large blast of fire. It was intense and blew all the surrounding smoke to reveal a cleared battleground. Bakugou’s high-collared zip up was lit up in flames, and you watched as he threw it off with a wicked grin.

“THAT’S MORE LIKE IT ICY-HOT, LET’S GO!”

He fought now without his top, having nothing underneath. You feel your face grow hot as you stare linger a little longer than you should have. You couldn’t help it, his build was very broad and thick, the dips of his muscles were really eye catching.

The black ink on his right shoulder also caught your attention, and you realized that must’ve been his soulmark. You wanted to look away, you really did, but the curiosity was ushering you to see what the ever great Bakugou Katsuki could have.

You narrow your eyes, mentally yelling at the blond to stay still you could see what the patterns of ink could be. He finally stopped just long enough for you to quickly scan the details, and doing so had your heart stopping.

There was the shape of flowers surrounding the mark, clouds wisping in the background. A large moon accentuating the large and finely detailed snake in the middle.

The world had come to a halt in your mind, the only noticeable thing being the large mark on his shoulder. There was no way it was the same, there had to be some difference, right?

Bakugou Katsuki couldn’t be your soulmate.

You’ve been his classmate for the last three years, and you only now found out? There was no way, it was a coincidence, there were little differences-there had to be.

“Hey,” Mina whispered, “Isn’t that… your mark?”

Mina’s words shattered the already thin remains of conviction you had tried to force upon yourself. With wide eyes, you looked helplessly at Mina. She looked surprised when she caught sight of you, instantly feeling guilty at mentioning it.

“(y/n)-”

“Alright, enough. At this rate no one else will get to go. I end this as a tie.”

Aizawa’s voice boomed over the intercom, ceasing the battle below. Bakugou’s cursing invaded your ears and made you even more aware of what he was to you. You gasped quietly, drawing the attention of Uraraka who regarded you with concern.

“Are you okay-”

“Midoriya, (l/n). You’re up.”

A white noise filled your ears, both girls trying to talk to you but you couldn’t speak. You removed yourself from Mina’s hold, her eyes showcasing pity and you couldn’t take it. You shut your eyes tight and turned around, rushing out.

You were so out of it you didn’t even realize that you were standing on the platform already, face-to-face with Midoriya. He seemed none the wiser to your current state and you couldn’t decide if that was better or not.

“Begin.”

You were normally a first attacker, springing into action as soon as you could to try to get your opponent off their guard, but you couldn’t move. Your world was spinning and the air just wasn’t coming. You could faintly see Midoriya charging up, but it was an out of body experience. The will to move was strong but you were unable, watching through wide eyes as he sprung forward and punched you straight across the face.

The force of his punch sent you flying back, rolling across the ground till you stopped on your stomach. You kept silent, the pain strong but you were numb to it. A shocked gasp mixed with the ringing in your ears, Midoriya’s concerned voice followed.

“-god, you always go for the kill I-I, I’m sorry!”

You push yourself up on uneasy arms, gaze stuck on the drops of blood that steadily fell onto the concrete. You bring your hand up to wipe your face, staring at the crimson smear staining your fingers.

The same crimson that matched a certain pair of eyes you knew all too well.

Standing up silenced Midoriya’s worried words, examining you in shock.

“(l/n)-”

“Come at me…” You glare harshly into his green eyes, the anger flooded your system all at once.

You were glad for the green, wanting to erase the thoughts of the other.

“B-but, you’re shaking. Are you alright?”

You look down at your hands to see that he was indeed right, you were violently shaking.

You clench the hand that still held blood, squeezing it tight and sticking out your arm while aiming your fist right at him.

“COME AT ME! I’M NOT LETTING ANYTHING STAND IN MY WAY, I JUST CAN’T!” Your anguish echoed around the room.

Sucking in harsh breaths, you watch as Izuku still falters on attacking you, unsure of what to make on your outburst. Letting out a guttural scream in frustration, you bring your fist down and slam it onto the concrete. Breaking upon impact cracks form, rapidly snaking their way towards where he was standing, forcing Midoriya to jump up to avoid falling because of it.

You spring forward and jump up to meet him in the air, slamming a fist into his stomach and sending him spiraling into the ground. You saw red hot anger, and all you could remember was going all out against Deku. He was on the defense, since every time he managed to get a strike in you would scream bloody murder and punch back ten times harder.

Every time you thought you could calm down, an image of spiky blond and cocky grins popped into your mind, and the anger rose all over again. The anger continued to rise as your mind raced with thoughts of confident laughter and opinionated yelling, then of twisting snakes and broken glass. Shouts of the past deafened your ears, and memories played back on a loop; a tearful face and angered, screaming mouth behind your eyelids.

“AGH.”

You snap back to reality, Midoriya’s pained face in your vision as you landed a solid hit on his forearm. He had his arms crossed in an ‘X’ in front of him and the power behind your punch had managed to damage both of them.

It was broken from your brute force and the other bruised, the guilt washed up to replace the anger. You hadn’t meant to take it out on Deku, you really didn’t. You were just so lost in yourself that you didn’t realize what you were doing, you didn’t want this side of you to be brought out.

Your worst fears of having the ugliest sides of yourself arising were coming true, you felt sick.

Midoriya staggered back, his broken arm hanging limply by his side as he charged, bruised arm aimed in attack.

“I give up.” You whisper.

Deku’s punch stopped an inch from your face, his eyes blown open and chest heaving.

“What-”

“Midoriya wins, (l/n) forfeits.”

As his arm drops to his side, he stares at you with the most caring look.

“You’re.. Crying.”

You can feel the stares, feel the questions, the whispers. As Deku held out a good hand you back away, the room was closing in on you and you needed to get out. You walked off the now broken arena, unable to wipe the tears that fell from your eyes.

Because all you felt was his red hot stare and it was the most brutal thing.

_____

A few days had passed from the mock battles, most wanting to put your feelings first so they hadn’t asked what had gone wrong. You weren’t so lucky when the person you most dreaded to see was not one of those people, constantly trying to get you to talk to him. It had been easy to avoid him for the first few days, but after the third you could tell he was getting fed up.

Especially since here he was, holding your dorm door open with a snarl on his lips.

“I said I don’t want to talk-”

“And I’m saying that’s fucking bullshit, you’ve had enough time to do whatever, now you talk.”

You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at him, your hurt gaze focused on the floor. It was silent for a moment before Katsuki pushed himself into your room, despite your protests.

“You’ve been ignoring everyone, what the hell is up with that.”

You stay planted in your spot, hands coming together to pick at your fingers. His annoyed huff made you flinch, you finally turned to where he was standing by your bed. He had been in your room plenty of times before, but never had you felt like this.

Never had wanted him out more than you did at this very moment.

“(y/n).”

Wide eyes look up as he called out your first name, something he’s never done before.

“Don’t-”

“Don’t what? I’m sick of you acting like you don’t have anyone to fucking talk to. You have a shit load of people who will listen to you.”

You cross your arms to hug yourself, looking away with indifferent eyes.

“I’m fine. I don’t want to talk because I don’t need to.”

“Cut the crap,” Bakugou sighs, “I can’t stand liars.”

“I’m not…” You trailed off as you caught his nasty glare, the past once more flashing through your mind.

A chilling silence filled the room, and you bite your lip in an attempt to help remove the pressure building behind your eyes.

“We’re soulmates, Bakugou.”

“I know.”

Your chest tightened with irritation as you stared him down.

“You know?”

“Yea.”

“And you weren’t going to fucking tell me?”

“Were you? If I didn’t know, would you have told me?” He seethed, annoyed.

“I-”

“You can’t be fucking upset over something you did too, (y/n).”

You stayed silent, knowing he was right, but the hurt of such a large secret being kept still clawing at you.

“How’d you find out?” You question softly.

“Kirishima told me, he said he saw your mark.”

You think back to the night in the kitchens, his behavior now making sense.

“You know how I feel about soulmates, I can’t-”

“What can’t you do, because if you tell yourself you can’t do something then get over yourself.”

“Excuse me-”

“If you fucking say you can’t, then you’re right. But I'll tell you right now that’s a shitty reason to not do something.”

“Can you quit cutting me off!” You hiss, hands coming up to rub your temples, “I can get a damn sentence out without you interrupting me! I’m just saying I can’t. Bakugou I just can’t-”

“You’re a fucking coward.”

You let out an exasperated cry, hands covering your eyes as scenes of fights similar came to your conscious thought.

“THIS IS WHAT I’M TRYING TO AVOID!”

“What, me?” Bakugou said calmly, the white hot angry threatening to bubble over.

“Yes! No, ugh-I don’t want the universe to dictate my life okay? There’s no such thing as a perfect match, and I for one don’t want one!”

“Who said I had to be your perfect match!?”

“The universe, the fucking gods, the stupid string of fate, I don’t fucking know who! But I won’t accept this, I can’t trust this to work out.”

“You can’t trust me.” He scoffed, looking away.

“That’s not what I meant, I just want to choose for myself! I want a choice in my own life!”

“Then what the hell do you want!? Because you know what, I couldn’t give a damn about this soulmate bullshit! I want you, you get that!”

Your mouth went dry, watching Bakugou run his hands through his already messy locks.

“I just want you, you piss me off but I can’t stand not having you around! I get fucking pissed when I see you blushing around anyone else, laughing and shit. I fucking want you to myself, same mark or not, open your fucking eyes already!”

Here he was, laying his heart on the table and all you could do was stare. Your heart was squeezing painfully in longing, but the fear that gripped your throat kept you from speaking the words you wanted to.

“I’m sorry…”

You watched as Katsuki’s face contorted into one of anger, disappointment, and suffering. You wanted to reach out, but you looked away instead. His once booming voice now pitifully strained.

“I hope you find whatever you’re looking for, glad to know it isn’t me.”

He brushed past you, slamming your door as he left your room.

The silence haunting as you now felt cold without him, but you couldn’t force yourself to run after him. You just couldn’t, the sooner you both accepted that, the better.

So why did you feel like you were making the biggest mistake of your life.

____

When you woke up that next morning, you couldn’t get out of bed. Your body was aching, your head was pounding, and your chest hurt. You look at the time, seeing you still had a few hours before you had to get up for school. You roll over in hopes of trying to get some more sleep, but as an hour trickles by you realize how pointless it is.

Sitting up, you throw the covers off of your body and sit at the edge of the bed. You sigh, slipping your feet into your slippers and slowly standing. You threw on a sweatshirt and walked down the hall and to the kitchens, wanting some water for your parched throat. The stars were still shining bright in the sky, the sun's light barely visible as the midnight blue was turning into a dark sapphire.

You open the door to the kitchens, surprised to see your teacher at one of the tables, papers everywhere and a cup of coffee next to him. He looks up, eyes droopy from lack of sleep and hair tied up messily.

“(l/n), morning.”

“Morning, Aizawa sir.” You respond, cautious.

You have never woken up early enough to catch your teacher at this time, you didn’t even think it was possible for him to be up at this hour, but here he was. You shuffle to the fridge and grab a bottle of water, quickly chugging the cool contents.

Letting out a satisfying sigh, you close the cap and turn back to head out of the room when you pause. You glance again at your teacher, and see him raise a brow without even looking in your direction.

“What is it?”

You pick at the bottom of your sweatshirt with one hand, the other holding the bottle loosely at your side.

“I can’t sleep, is it alright if.. Um, never mind-”

“Sit.”

You don’t have to be told twice, sitting in front of him, careful not to mess up the school work. You both sit in silence for a while, you staring down at the table, picking at a spot that has chipped paint. The sounds of a scratching pen filled the air and it was somehow calming, knowing that there was someone who cared about you directly in front of you was a nice thought.

Your heart thumped painfully, thinking back to last night. Katsuki was someone that cared about you, and he was right in front of you too. Why was it so hard for you?

“I’m surprised you gave up the match the other day. You could have beat Midoriya.”

You look up at your teacher through your lashes, mildly surprised at him conversing.

“I,” you paused, a sigh leaving your lips, “I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“Yea, you could tell, and he’s fine; he’s done worse to himself his entire first year than what you did to him. You know that.”

You don’t know what to say, sitting there, a feeling of shame running through your veins.

“Still... I didn’t mean to take anything out on Midoriya, I just couldn’t control myself.”

The shuffling of paper caught your attention, he pulled one out of the stack as he spoke.

“Does it have anything to do with this?” He hands you a piece of paper, and you grab it, confused.

Scanning over it quickly, you realized what today was. A dull pain making you gently set the paper down, looking back up at your teacher who was staring at you with what looked like concern.

You only hummed in agreement, it wasn’t the real reason but it was easier than explaining the truth.

“Maybe you should finally take this. For the last two years this request form comes in on this day every year and you never use it.”

You swallow, mouth suddenly feeling dry once more as you grab the paper again. You stand up, form clenched tightly to your chest as you nod in appreciation.

“Maybe I should. Thank you.”

You turn to leave, seeing the sun now peaking out, a bright orange painting the lands in signal of a new day.

The day you were finally going to do what you should’ve done long ago.

____

You stood shakily in front of the house you grew up in, the door seemingly intimidating as you held your hand up to knock. Thankfully you were saved from the trouble, the door opening up before you even got the chance. You and the woman shared a look of shock, before her eyes began to water.

“Oh, (y/n)... You’re here?”

You bring your left hand up, rubbing your right shoulder nervously.

“Yeah, I’m here mom.”

She pulled you into a hug, and you let yourself fall into her embrace. She pulls away, closing the door and locking it before beaming up at you.

“I’m glad you’re here, sweetie. Let’s get going, okay?”

You can only nod, walking side by side with your mother down the road. It was still early morning, the sun higher in the sky than before, but not high enough to cast a vast amount of heat or bright light. Your mother was silent for the most part, asking you a few questions here and there about school and graduation. You answered earnestly, telling her about how the midterm exams were approaching and you were busy trying to prepare yourself.

The conversation edges away to nothing once sight of the hefty, daunting grey gates comes into view. Your mother holds onto your hand with her free one, and you give it a quick squeeze to let her know you were okay. Passing the gates you both walked along a cleared path, coming onto the plot you both were looking for.

Your mother lets go of your hand, walking forward to one of the tombstones. It was neatly kept, flowers along the top and the stone wiped down. Your mother sets the basket she had brought on the ground, opening it up as she kneeled down. She replaced the drying flowers with fresh ones, and also replenished the incense resting there. She bowed her head, letting her forehead rest against the stone and she mumbled words meant for their ears early.

You take a deep breath, swallowing all the dread that had built up as your mother turned around and smiled at you.

“Your father must be overjoyed to see you, he has missed you these last couple of years.”

“Mom,” You ignored her, jumping straight to the point, “Why do you do this. You hated dad.”

“No, I didn’t.” She shook her head, a hand running along the cool stone with a wistful smile.

“I love your father, I still do.”

“But you two were terrible together.” You cried, keeping your voice down out of respect but still in need of knowing.

“It’s true, we weren’t the best together at the current time. It’s one of my biggest regrets.”

“Being with dad?”

“No, sweetheart, I never regretted being with your father. He was my soulmate. My other half.”

You clenched your hands at your side, flashbacks of your father and mother having screaming matches.

You could hardly remember a time they were happy together, there was always some reason why one or the other would be upset. You hated the fighting that would happen constantly; you would hide under your bed, in your closet, anywhere to get away from the noise. From the screams and the tears, from the cursing and the heartbreak.

Soulmates, what a joke.

“Mom, I don’t think you two were meant for each other. I don’t think you were truly soulmates.”

Your mother gave you a soft look, patting the space next to her. You reluctantly sat down, refusing to look at the grave this close.

“(y/n), I’m sorry. For all those years of hardships you had to deal with, you didn’t deserve that. Now look what it has done, given you a warped view of love. It’s with a heavy heart your father had passed before we could truly better ourselves. In our next life we shall be reunited in better circumstances.”

“I-”

“Please dear, let me finish.”

You close your mouth, allowing her to continue as you stare at the loose ends of your sweater.

“Your father was a wonderful man, one that I did not give enough credit to. I was hard on your father, and in turn he was hard on me. It had led to our poor communication, and eventually our rough patch. You remembered for the worst of it, and for that I cannot be sorry enough. I regret to this day the way I handled the relationship; instead of cherishing my love I had forsaken him.”

You still your movements, those choice of words causing your stomach to flutter in an unpleasant way.

“We were opposites, but we fit each other so well. It was our own foolish actions that caused us to drift away.”

Tears started to pool in your eyes, squeezing them shut in hopes to stop the floodgates, but they fell anyways.

“Mom, I’m scared.”

“Sweetheart,” she pulls you in close, holding you tightly while shushing you, “tell me, what has you scared?”

“I-I found him, my soulmate.”

“Dear, that’s wonderful.”

“Is it though? I don’t want things to end up bad, I don’t know what to do. I actually like him, but I don’t want to be told to like him. I don’t.. And I don’t want to be heartbroken like you were.”

“Sometimes heartbreak is inevitable, and that’s okay. In this life we are graced to find the person who would suit us best, not necessarily who is the most perfect for you.”

“I don’t understand…”

She lifted you face, wiping under your eyes with her thumbs, giving you a smile.

“Your soulmate isn’t the person who you’ll never fight with, nor the person who is your equal in every way. Your soulmate is the one who holds your heart, flaws and all. It is the person willing to go through the hardships with you, the heartbreak, the sadness, the tensions, the anger, and be willing to fix it and continue on with you. The one willing to grow with you. They’re there with you anyways, loving you through all that pain; just to one day be granted with sunny skies and a heart full of love.”

You think back to all the interactions you’ve had with Bakugou, how tensions were always high with the explosive teen. He was a hothead, arrogant, rude, cruel, and had plenty of negatives. But he had good qualities, that you knew for sure; he was caring in his own way, he was strong, determined, wise, faithful, and so much more.

Yet he wouldn’t be him if he had one set of traits and not the other, a Bakugou with no heart, or a Bakugou with no soul wouldn’t be him at all. He needed them all, the good and the bad.

You liked him despite it all, even though you wanted to push it away, you knew you couldn’t have had a better partner in life.

“Do you understand now, sweetie?”

You look into her eyes, glancing at the tombstone, your heavy heart feeling lighter.

“Yea, yea I do. Thanks mom… Dad.”

____

It was dark by the time you had returned to the dorms, opening up the door you were surprised to see people in the common room. Heads turn and you feel embarrassed at the attention, removing your shoes you adorn your slippers and walk further inside.

“(y/n)! Where have you been!” Mina rushed over, throwing her arms around you.

You felt terrible, knowing you hadn’t made the last few days easy on her. She didn’t ask questions, she didn't push or pry, but you knew she wanted to. Of course she did, you had gone crazy momentarily after finding out your soulmate was your crush, and had then shut her out for days after before randomly disappearing.

“Hey, sorry. I needed to do something.”

“That lasted all day?” Kaminari questioned, standing behind Mina as she held onto you tightly, not letting go.

“Yea. I didn’t have time to tell anyone, you were all still asleep.”

“So you ran away like a thief in the night, huh? Pretty bold of you to do, (l/n).” Sero snickered, his large hand patting the top of your head.

You swipe his hand away, grinning nonetheless.

“More like an early bird, since it was in the morning dorks.”

You pull Mina away from you, giving her a tired smile.

“I promise we’ll talk later, for now, I want to go to bed.”

She reluctantly let you go, knowing she could trust you but wanting to be there as a comfort.

You bid a goodnight to your friends and sluggishly make your way to your floor. You turn down your hall, yawning and stretching as you do, distracted enough to not notice the body in front of your door till you rammed into them.

You back up, rubbing your nose while looking up to see-

“Bakugou?”

“Tch, where’ve you been.”

You were surprised to see him outside your door, with the fight not even a day old yet. Your mother's words were echoing in your mind, making you bite back a smile;

“Your soulmate is the one who holds your heart, flaws and all. It is the person willing to go through the hardships with you, the heartbreak, the sadness, the tensions, the anger, and be willing to fix it and continue on with you. The one willing to grow with you. They’re there with you anyways, loving you through all that pain; just to one day be granted with sunny skies and a heart full of love.”

And here he was, trying.

“I was visiting my father.”

He kept quiet after that, knowing the circumstances.

“It’s the anniversary of his death, every year my mother tries to make me go with her, and I never do. She puts in a request to get me out of school anyways, and I don’t remember the last time I went.”

You walk around him, opening your door and walking inside. You don’t have to tell Bakugou anything, he’s already walking in and sitting down next to you on the bed.

“Why did you go today then.”

“I needed to know.”

“Know what?” He raised his brow questioningly.

“Know if this could work.” You motioned between the two of you.

“(y/n)-”

“Let me finish,” you interrupt him, taking a deep breath before looking at him in the eyes, “My parents never got along, even though they were soulmates. It was hard for me to experience that first hand. I haven’t gotten over it, and it still haunts me to this day. It scares me, I thought if I ever met my soulmate, it would be the universe punishing me and I’d end up just like my parents. Or what would happen if I was cursed even more and ended up with someone the complete opposite of me. How would I love them? This perfect other business scared me, and I didn’t want anyone to decide my future.”

“But my mom told me that it doesn’t have to be someone perfect, just someone willing to be there with you, no matter what. And I think I can do that… I can do that with you, Katsuki.”

“Idiot.”

“Hah? What am I an idiot for-”

You were cut off as Bakugou pulled you in for a hug. Your face buzzed with embarrassment as his arms circled your waist, your own pinned between the both of you.

“Again, I don’t care about all that soulmate crap. But I guess the way your mom explained it was pretty damn good. I like you for who you are, and nothing else. No mark, no stupid fucking deity shitface can make me think otherwise. Even if you weren’t my soulmate, I’d still fucking fall for you because you’re (/n), and that’s all that matters dammit.”

You tear up, clinging onto the collar of his hoodie while he continues to hold you. It may be a bumpy ride, but you’re willing to ride it out with him.

“Ne, Katsuki, let’s do it.”

“Wh-what the hell are you saying!?” He pushed you away from his body, face flushed a bright red.

You tilt your head on confusion, taking off your sweatshirt.

“OI FUCKING IDIOT WAIT-”

“What?”

You reveal your tank top underneath, soul mark showing proudly on your right shoulder.

“Take yours off, let’s do it. Let’s combine them.”

The shuddering sigh of relief that escaped his lips baffled you, before a sly grin crossed your face.

“Katsuki, you pervert, what were you thinking?”

“N-nothing stupid,” huffing, he say back and unzipped his hoodie, taking it off to reveal a tank top of his own. You stare at his mark, being this close you could see every single matching detail. It was almost like looking into a mirror.

“We don’t have to do this if you don't want to.” He said seriously, staring at you to see if your body language would give out an answer.

“I want to, Katsuki.”

He smiled, and you did a double-take. It was small, nothing fancy or over-the-top like normal, but it was a real and genuine smile.

“What are you smiling for?”

“I like it when you call me Katsuki.”

“Good, cause you better get used to it.”

You chuckled before turning around, sitting on your bed facing the wall while Katsuki stayed still, letting his legs hang off the side of the bed. Your right shoulders were almost touching, and you both gave each other one look before lightly bumping them together.

It really was as magical as they said, the comforting warmth that spread throughout your body was soothing for the soul-giving you a sense of peace. Then the tickling feeling came, it was a feather light touch on your shoulder as the snake on your shoulder split into two. They were the same in every way, mirror images of one another. They also copied each other's movements, dancing and intertwining together until there were two whole pieces to the puzzle.

You both lean your foreheads together once it’s over, basking in the afterglow of such an intimate act. You both whisper promises of honesty and togetherness, agreeing to not let the fear of soulmates interfere with their relationship;

“Because you’re you no matter what, got that? I only want you.”

“I don’t think you’ll ever let me forget it. Thank you, Katsuki.”

#bnha #bnha x reader #mha #mha x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #bnha bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou x reader #bnha katsuki x reader #mha katsuki bakugou x reader #mha katsuki x reader #mha bakugou katsuki x reader #mha bakugou x reader

740 notes · View notes

willowistic22 · 3 years

Note

Hey :)

For your post concerning Ikeshot - would you maybe consider writing an Ikeshot Soulmate AU during the canon era?

Thanks in advance

left this in my drafts for the whole month bcs i was doing no content november which was definitely not used as an excuse of me not wanting to fight off my writers block heheheheheheheh spoiler alert : it was. but i got around to write this one so i hope it suffice! i mean i hope so bcs it ended up being 2.5k words long lol!

So pls enjoy my canon era ikeshot soulmate au! the concept is where soulmate marks are in the form of the first things your soulmate says to you when you guys meet. also ik this will kinda flop since it’s a rarepair but pls do your best to not let it flop :)

Ike doesn’t like the thought of soulmates. Not one bit. Well, at first he liked the idea of having someone out there waiting for him. He doesn’t need a mark of any kind to tell him that. He knows it on his own terms. But there was a little bit of excitement that exploded in his stomach when his soulmate mark appeared on his forearm. And it was… weird to say the least.

He got his mark a year earlier than his twin brother, right on their 13th birthday. A delicate black writing engraved in the skin of his forearm. The soulmate mark stories he has ever heard were about people with sweet sayings engraved in their skin. It was all romantic, innocent, and soft spoken words tread lightly by the lips of their lover to be. But Ike’s? It was downright strange. None of those sappy and sweet stuff people say when the subject is about soulmates. Which is why Ike never bothered showing it off. He has heard enough jokes from Mike about that text.

And here’s the kicker for his situation: despite getting his soulmate mark a year earlier, Mike was somehow granted the gift of getting a sweet soulmate line and meeting his soulmate first! That really pissed Ike off.

He’s left with his thoughts on that subject this evening, carefully holding up his forearm while he lies on the top bunk he and his brother call their own. The words on his forearm echoes inside of his brain as he strokes the ink on his skin, blocking out the loud Lower Manhattan lodging house. He’s bound to meet his soulmate eventually. He’s sixteen for crying out loud! Mike met his when they were fifteen. So this mysterious soulmate of his has to turn up any time now. They have to. Ike doesn’t know how much longer he can keep himself entertained with stringless flings and flirtings with random guys in secret.

Ike sighs desperately, dropping both his arms above his head and onto his thin pillow. He wished he was tired enough to go to sleep already since he doesn’t have anything to do before the lights go out in the lodge. He peaks down towards the lower bunk. Ike sees his brother fast asleep, cuddled into his lover’s embrace. Two chests, rising and falling at their own different slow pace.

It’s not that Ike ever had a problem with Mike’s soulmate, the only problem is that Ike hasn’t met his and constantly feels lonely with the presence of the couple. Ike didn’t believe his brother when he said his soulmate turned out to be Jo Jo. Not only is Jo Jo practically a total opposite of Mike, Jo Jo is also out of his league. There’s no way a kind hearted, properly brought up, bright smiled boy would end up with a scruffy idiot like his brother. But the more time he spends with the two, the more he sees how compatible they are with each other.

Ike is happy that they found someone to make each other happy, even in their sleep. He’s just sad for himself that he hasn’t found the one for him yet. Third wheeling is the worst thing Ike has ever discovered in his life.

He sits back up properly, letting both legs dangle freely down the bunk. Ike puts on his newsie cap and his vest that was left hanging on the bedpost before jumping down the bunk.

Unfortunately he wasn’t being careful and accidentally woke someone below him from the loud thud his feet made when it came in contact with the old wooden floor of the lodge.

“Where are you… going?” a voice groaned.

Ike turns his head towards the lower bunk to see Mike lifting his head up slightly from where it was resting, rubbing his eyes a little bit to enhance his vision. He’d sit up straight, but one of his hands is strapped down to the mattress by a certain head full of brown curls.

“Not tired yet. Think I’ll get myself busy” Ike replied. Before turning back to his original direction, he catches his brother’s eyes before he lets himself fall back asleep again, “Got a pack?”

Mike snorts to himself with an eye roll, but it ends with a low chuckle. He gestures his head towards his vest left hanging up high on the bedpost, “Check my vest. I’se think there’s still half in there”

Untangling the vest from itself, Ike sees one of its pockets forming a rectangular shape through the fabric. He slips his hand in it and fishes out a pack of cigarettes. His hand doesn’t feel the usual light weight of the tiny box he usually feels after getting himself a fresh pack. This one feels so much lighter, like there’s a lot of room in it. But Ike could still feel a few stems moving inside.

“Don’t finish the whole thing” Mike added.

Ike simply smirks down at him, turning around with the pack in hand. He calls out, “No promises!”

“Pay me back if you do finish it!”

“Also no promises!”

“Little shitter”

Ike turns his head around, and an offended look on his face as the twins’ old inside joke has resurfaced from the past. In the calmest way possible, yet still obviously annoyed, Ike voices out, “Fuck off, alright?”

“No promises!”

Mike laughs at his brother’s obvious annoyance. At the same time, Jo Jo starts to stir in his sleep. He stops laughing, directing his full focus on the boy shifting in his arms. Jo Jo groans as he flips to face away from Mike, letting out a long and peaceful sigh once he gets comfortable.

Ike watches as his brother lays back down, holding Jo Jo a little tighter than before. The couple is enveloped back by their slumber just like before.

There’s that jealousy resurfacing in Ike’s heart as his eyes linger at the sight of the lower bunk. But despite it, he is actually happy to see Mike like this. Being happy with his soulmate doing whatever. It’s a different kind of happy. It’s the kind that Ike longs for.

He pushes that thought away for a while, walking through the loud lodging house. Some newsies went to sleep earlier, somehow being able to ignore all the commotion caused by their friends. Some are also just hanging out with others while they wait for the lights to go out.

Ike chooses to be alone this evening. Accompanied by a cigarette or two, and maybe his own thoughts he’d like to sort out. He’d walk out the front door downstairs to smoke in an alleyway, but he knows the downstairs are currently occupied. Jack had warned everyone to avoid going downstairs because the borough leaders are having a little meeting.

So Ike decides on the fire escape, since it already leads directly to the alleyway. Ike slips out the window, instantly noticing the lovely evening air. His only view is a dull brick wall with trash scattered around the ground, but he doesn’t really mind as the street ambience makes him feel less lonely.

He notes the fire escape being a little wet, since it previously did rain a bit. He nearly slipped when he first stepped on the metal bars, but was able to balance himself pretty quickly.

But to no avail, his feet clumsily slips away from their grip on the fire escape. It sends him falling down with a loud yelp, passing through the little gap in the fencing reserved for the ladder and onto the concrete floor in the dirty alleyway.

Ike was disoriented when he rose back up from his fall. One hand on the ground to help support his back as he recovers from the impact, and the other rubbing the pain on his head away. He realized the pack of cigarettes is long gone. What he doesn’t realize is why the fall isn’t as painful as he thought it would be.

He glances over to his legs, which he realized just now that it was tangled with something else. Someone else. They were groaning in pain as they rose back up. He catches a glimpse of the face once it was finally lifted off the ground, smudge by a little bit of mud.

Oh shit.

Ike fell on another boy who obviously looks like he’s twice his own size. Not that he thinks he can’t take him on in a fight if he asks for one, but right now he’s too disoriented to even figure out how to punch straight. He quickly gets up on his feet, giving the stranger some space so he can recollect himself.

“Oh look, the universe has thrown me a little shitter from the sky to ruin the rest of my already shitty day! Is there anything you can possibly do to magically make it better?!”

The words were uttered as the stranger got back up on his feet, revealing himself to be a tall and muscled figure. The mud also got on a little strand of his dark brown hair and his eyes were squinted with fury. But Ike wasn’t focused on any physical features this stranger has. He’s more focused with the words that he uttered. Words that Ike knows by heart by now.

“What?” The stranger growled, deep and raspy. He realized the boy was astonished by something, but was certain it isn’t in any form of fear.

“Do you have any idea how much shit I get with that written on my hand?! It made me look like I’m a fuckin’ dumbass my whole life!” Ike started his little rant, a little bit of rage building up from the pits of his stomach, “Oh, but of course I’se stuck with a huge asshole that doesn’t know how to be a decent human being and give a guy a break!”

The stranger stays completely still, lips slightly parted.

“How do you think I feel with that?”

He shows his soulmate mark on his right forearm to Ike. A smaller font size and a longer paragraph written on his skin. Ike almost wanted to laugh.

“Hey!”

The two boys turn their attention towards the sound. Just outside the alleyway, right on the sidewalk where the rest of the world is, three tall men stood. There isn’t enough light for either boys to identify who they are, but given from the vague shadow they can sense trouble.

As the three men take a few steps closer, letting a little lamp stuck to the wall illuminate their figures, they reveal themselves as the bulls.

The boys activated their flight instinct, running towards the other end of the alleyway. The bulls chased after them while telling them to stop. Ike, being the smaller one, runs ahead and leads the chase. Hopping from one sidewalk to the other, crossing the roads without looking.

Jacobi’s deli came into view in the corner of the block, despite being unlit. Ike kept running towards that corner and took a sharp turn. He makes another sharp turn towards an alley, just next to the deli. He hides in a little corner the deli has created. He has gotten away from so many troubles by hiding in this ‘wall bump’ because people miss it easily.

He was surprised to see a large figure stopping right next to where Ike was hiding, huffing out heavy breaths of exhaustion. Ike said nothing at first, thinking it’s one of the bulls. He simply watches the figure hunching over their knees, trying to recollect themselves from the chase.

But after a few seconds, he realizes it was the same boy he just met at the alleyway. His soulmate. To that, he widens his eyes and gasps under his breath.

Oh crap, if he keeps on standin’ there we’ll get caught!

“Hey!” Ike whisper shouted.

The boy was still disoriented from all that running, but he was still able to pick up the voice.

He saw Ike hiding in the corner, but didn’t think much of it. To that, the smaller boy just rolled his eyes and grabbed him by his suspenders to pull him to the little corner to hide together.

Ike peaked behind the little wall hiding them to see if the bulls that were chasing them had passed. Just as he suspected, they were clueless as to where they could be. The bulls went past the alleyway. Until Ike was sure that they’re gone, he lets out a relieved sigh and turns back to where he is.

He was surprised to be met by a chest, but soon remembered that he had another boy hiding with him. A very tall one.

Ike looks up to his face. The details are much clearer now. Brown locks, strong jawline, brown eyes, ivory tinted face with a few smudges of ash and dirt. The face sculptured... so perfectly.

Ike only realized this now. Staring up at it, taking in every detail before him. Cheeks a little heated up when his head realizes how close they’re being. Chest to chest and Ike is up against a wall.

And the other boy… he stared back. Just as frozen and shocked as he is.

“I-I didn’t catch your name earlier” Ike mustered up the last bit of concentration to get that out.

“My friends call me Hotshot”

“Hotshot…” Ike repeated, nodding along without getting his eyes off of him.

“But… you can call me Tyler. Y-y’know if you… wanna use my real name” Hotshot said with a little awkward cough at the end.

“Oh…”

Ike has no idea what’s happening right now. All he knows is there’s a cute guy right in front of his nose, who is his so called soulmate. They’re hiding in an alleyway, and neither seems to want to move away. They were both caught off guard by the beauty their eyes are being presented with in front of them.

“I-I’m Ike, by the way…” Ike added on, realizing he hasn’t said his name yet, “It’s short for Isaac. Y’know, ‘cause my twin brother calls himself Mike and we wanted to-- y’know what? That’s too long to get into…”

The two share a heartfelt laughter. Their hearts pumping faster than before, the other being able to feel it right through their chest.

“So uhh… Ike…” Hotshot started, still staring down at the smaller boy, “About what I said earlier…”

Ike started to laugh, remembering what he meant.

“I’s want to apologize… is all”

“Y-yeah, the same goes for me!” Ike added, “Well, I don’t know if we should even apologize. We were supposed to say that to each other anyways!”

Another heartfelt laughter, sounding softer than the first one. It somehow made the moment even more serious as it slowly died down. Their gaze hasn’t left the other’s. Nor, does it seem like they want to in the first place.

“Ike, can I… try somethin’?” Hotshot suddenly asked.

Ike simply nods, not having any clue as to what he meant. The message behind that was soon cleared the moment Hotshot softly crashed his lips against his, pushing his head backwards and gently pinning it to the wall behind him. Ike moves his hands up to pull him by his suspenders. Hotshot brushes his finger on his jaw, angling him up for a better kiss. Their lips moved in sync perfectly and it felt good. Just like how they would picture a first kiss shared by a soulmate.

#newsies #drabble requests #ikeshot #ikeshot newsies #ike newsies #hotshot newsies #tw cursing #tw smoking #tw implied violence #tw light injury

34 notes · View notes

coffeeew · 4 years

Text

soulmate | lee seokmin

❀ → genre: fluff | best friend love |

❀ → synopsis: Seokmin is your soulmate, but people don´t seem to understand the right definition of one.

❀ → pairing: lee seokmin x female reader

❀ → warnings!: | I think there´s cursing, I don´t remember sorry :( | English is clearly not my first language so excuse any grammar mistakes.

❀ → word count: 3.3K

❀ → note: I got 100% inspired from vmin videos to do this.

"I'm scared of love."

You said as you stared at the white ceiling of Seokmin's room. It was Sunday midnight when you appeared on his door saying that you were mad at your roomie and didn't want to see her in some time. He, being the good friend he is, let you in and even made you a cup of coffee.

"You should."

He responded. He was sitting beside you, Nintendo Switch on his hands while he played Animal Crossing.

"Really?"

"Well, depends, if we're talking about romantic love, yeah, kinda, but if we're talking about the other love, no, not really."

You nodded and yawned. Both of you stayed quiet for a while, the silence was actually really comfortable, just the sound of breathing was able to be heard. Then a new topic came into your mind.

"Jiyoon likes you."

"Yeah, I know, she confessed to me."

You raised your eyebrow in surprise.

"How?"

"The classic card pasted with tape into a snack."

"Are you going to date her?"

You looked at him and he just shakes his head.

"Why?"

He giggled.

"I talked to her afterward and she said that she didn't confess earlier cause she thought I liked you."

You scrunched your nose and shook your head aggressively.

"Yeah, I told her that it was like it would be like dating my dog or something."

You frowned.

"Your dog?"

He nodded and looked at you.

"You are kinda small, cute and aggressive when I try to take your food, you're also really protective when someone insults me and you like when people pat your bead or caress your hair. It's kinda like a dog."

You gave him a killing gaze.

"I'm not an animal, I have a common sense and I can talk."

He shrugged yet again.

"Details."

You rolled your eyes and looked at him again.

"So you aren't going to date her because she thought you liked me?"

He stayed quiet for some seconds, trying to remember what he was talking about.

"Oh! Nah, she also said she got jealous when I hanged out with you and I'm not up for toxic people."

He simply responded. You smoked and lightly slapped his leg.

"That's my Seokmin."

He laughed.

"What are you talking about? The one that always gets into toxic relationships it's you."

You frowned again and slapped his leg again, but this time harder.

"We don't talk about exes on this Christian household."

"This is my house, and I'm not a Christian."

You whined.

"You ruined my joke."

He laughed and poked your cheek.

"It wasn't funny anyway."

You stared at him in silence for some seconds, just for then talking yet again.

"And you're the one I call my soul mate."

You said in between teeth.

"You'll never meet a better guy than me."

He winked at you and you just kicked his chest, making his back hit the wall.

"Ouch?"

You stuck your tongue out in a goofy way, he just giggled and took his sight back to his game. You stared at the ceiling again and began to get sleepy, but just before you closed your eyes to maybe fall asleep, he talked.

"Maybe we should stop using the term 'soulmates' to refer to our friendship."

He murmured. You frowned with your eyes half-closed.

"Why?"

"People keep mistaking the term."

"And? They're dumb for thinking that a soulmate has to be your lover."

You answered. He sighed and placed the console away, then he laid beside you.

"I don't understand how we suit each other so well."

"Hm... I don't know, I try not to question it and just enjoy the fact that I got the luck to find someone like you so soon. People take their whole lives finding their soulmates and other times they can't find them even in their next lives."

You yawned again and moved to place your head on his tummy, using it as a pillow, you looked at his face and poked his cheek.

"I'm going to kill you if you can't find me in our next life."

He laughed.

"Why should I find you?"

"Cause I found you in this life, so it'll be your turn."

"We found each other."

"No, I was the one that approached you in middle school, so I technically found you."

He rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Let's just find each other, it would be easier if we both look that just one."

You thought about it for some seconds.

"Okey, just because I know you are going to get lost or something."

You both giggled and stayed silent when the noise faded away after some time. You sniffed and closed your eyes.

"Seokmin."

You called him.

"Yeah?"

"Don't leave me."

He chuckled and placed a hand in the top of your head, caressing your forehead slightly.

"I won't leave you if you don't leave me."

"Deal."

After that final short conversation, both of you fell asleep in that kinda uncomfortable position. But you didn't care, the way your bodies felt was not important when your feelings we're so calm and you felt so emotionally comfortable in that small bed. The body warmth of both of you made it feel better.

It was always like that. It wasn't important how mad, sad or exhausted you felt when you went to see Seokmin and talked about it with him it felt like everything faded away, and you knew he felt the same way towards you.

You always knew that the friendship between you two was different, but not in a romantic way, you just felt better around him than anyone else. That's when Minghao kicked in and told you that it could be because 'maybe he is your soulmate.'

Back then, you had the image of a soulmate that everyone else has. The love of your life and the person you're going to marry and live happily. But the boy explained to you that a soulmate was a person that was compatible with you in a different way than anyone else, it could be a friendship or a romantic relationship, it didn't matter.

As you had already said, you met Seokmin in middle school, both of you were the 'new kids' so you decided to approach him because that way you wouldn't be anxious about him telling his friends how awkward you were around new people. You weren't shy or introverted when you were in your comfort zone or somewhere you were used to, but if you were in a totally new environment around people you don't know, you turned into a ball of panic. So you thought that approaching someone that was at the same level as you could be better, and it was.

Seokmin was really shy the first month, but after some time you two clicked instantly, you made more friends by yourselves but never stopped talking out of the school or by message and during a school project, you needed to be in the same group.

You loved Seokmin and you knew he loved you back, you both loved each other in a form that you both knew you couldn't love anyone else, and it was okay. There are all kinds of love, and even though you haven't met anyone else that you felt the same affection as you did towards him didn't mean you weren't going to be able to have a romantic relationship.

There has to be someone that understands that even though you are dating them, doesn't mean you are going to stop being friends with Seokmin. Someone that understands that the kind of love you two shared wasn't the same as the life you have towards your couple.

People should stop thinking of every couple of good friends it's a couple of lovers because it could cause awkwardness between both of them, and even though it didn't happen with you, it did happen to one of your friends.

Seokmin was your soul mate, not your lover, not your boyfriend neither your hook up, and people needed to understand that.

════════════════════════ ════════════════════════

"C'mon! We want to be there before midnight."

Hollered Seokmin's mother. Since summer vacations we're already there and you usually did nothing but lay in bed and watch the same series and dramas, Seokmin decided it would be a nice idea to invite you to his grandmother's farm. His mom had just picked you up and brought you to their place since Seokmin woke up late and hadn't finished packing.

Some minutes later the brown-haired boy came out with a big suitcase and a black backpack.

"Finally."

You huffed. His mom helped him put his suitcase and backpack inside the car while he locked the house door correctly.

You remained in the back seat of the van, looking at the movements of the Lee's through the window.

Once they finished they got inside the van and turned on the vehicle to make their way to their destiny.

"Hey, y/n."

Seokmin called your name and you looked at him, making a small noise that meant a "what".

"Seungkwan is also coming."

You frowned and crossed your arms.

"Why didn't you told me? That way I could've brought more snacks, now he is going to eat them all."

You whined while hugging the medium-sized tote bag that contained all the snacks you had brought for the road. Seokmin told you to bring for everyone since he was going to be the one paying for gasoline and stuff, but he never told you Seungkwan was going too.

He laughed and stretched his arm, placing his hand on top of your head.

"It's okay, we can buy more when we stop by a gas station."

"Okey, but if he eats all of my gummy worms and there's no more on a gas station, we are going to have a dead body to bury, and you are going to crave the whole it."

He giggled and nodded.

"Okey then."

The car stayed silent for a couple of minutes until Seokmin's mom decided to turn the stereo on and play a cd. You didn't recognize the music but it was nice.

You just hoped to not get that bored because if you did, the trip was going to be ages long.

════════════════════════ ════════════════════════

It was already 8 pm and there were still some hours of road to come. Seungkwan was on one of the single seats doing something you didn't really care about in his phone and Seokmin was on the back seats with you, he decided to change place when he got bored of being "alone" on the front, his head in one of your thighs while he played smash bros on his Nintendo Switch. He has offered you to play but you decided that you would do it later since you were really enjoying the landscape, but no that the sand had gone down, you only saw darkness which was freaking you out a bit, you didn't like the dark, yes, at your 20's you were still afraid of it.

"Hey, Min."

You called him and moved your keg slightly for him to pay attention to you and take out his earphones.

"What's up?"

He asked while taking one of the earphones out of his... Well, ear.

"Let's play smash."

"Yeah, let me just finish this match."

He responded, still focused on the screen. You nodded and took your gaze away from him to look at Seungkwan, now his phone was turned off and he was looking outside.

"Hye."

The boy called Seokmin's mother's name.

"Yeah?"

"If you see someone struggling with their car or something, please don't stop to help them."

The woman laughed.

"Why?"

"That's how people disappear and I'm too young to die, I haven't finished my career yet."

This time you joined the laughter. What Seungkwan said was right, but the tone he was saying it it was goofy and playful, which made the situation funny.

"What are we laughing about?"

Asked Seokmin, taking his head off of your thigh and sitting down beside you.

"Seungkwan."

"We're laughing at him or with him?"

You shrugged.

"Both."

"Hey!"

He turned and looked at you with a killing gaze.

"Don't give me that look, Hye laughed too."

Seungkwan grabbed a bag of chips and threw it towards you, hitting your face.

"Oh you didn't"

You took off your seat belt and threw the chips bag harder.

"At least hit me with quality!"

He opened his mouth and frowned.

"Veggie chips are super good!"

"No, they're not, they taste like fried broccoli."

"Have you tried friend broccoli?"

"No, but if I do, I know it would taste like that, disgusting!"

"You should respect each other's opinions."

Murmured Seokmin.

"Shut up!"

Seungkwan and you hollered just for then looking at each other and smiling while high fiving. You heard Hye's laugh and you giggled.

"I bet your mom is having a great time."

"Oh, she better be, she was whining all week telling me that she was going to miss a Knowing Bro's episode and I told her that having you two in a car was going to be a comedy."

"You calling us clowns?"

Asked Seungkwan.

"I mean, we are, but you are one too."

You said pointing at Seokmin. He frowned and turned off his console.

"Well, I'm a fancy circus one, y'all are children party ones."

You slightly punched his arm and Seungkwan threw him the now beaten up bag of chips while he laughed. You smiled and rolled your eyes.

"So, are we playing smash?"

"Oh, no, I ran out of battery."

You pressed your lips together, making a straight line.

"Ok, now you gotta distract me cause we are surrounded by darkness and your girl doesn't like darkness."

"Oh, about that."

He said while leaning over to the front seats, graving his backpack and opening it, taking out what it seemed like a white bear.

"Here."

He sat down back in your side and extended you the bear. Your frowned graving it and tilted your head.

"What's this?"

"Press the belly."

You did as he said and instantly, the white plastic stomach of the bear light up, making you jump.

"I knew you were scared of the dark and the farm is usually dark at night because grandma likes saving power by turning off the transformer at night, so I bought you this."

You made a small pout and leaned over to hug him.

"You truly are my soulmate."

You said against his chest. He laughed and patted your hair.

"I swear that if I didn't know both of you I'd think y'all are dating."

You frowned and pushed yourself away from Seokmin, looking at Seungkwan with a deadly gaze.

"You are making it too hard for y/n not to kill you Boo Seungkwan."

He raised an eyebrow

"Like she could."

You gasped and placed a hand in your chest, indignation filling your body.

"Are you underestimating my homicidal tendencies and skills?"

"Kinda, yeah."

“Oh, you shouldn't, she's small but she once almost broke a guy's arm on a club.”

“Evidence.”

Said the boy sticking his hand out towards Seokmin.

“You expect me to record while my best friend almost gets sued for physical abuse?”

“Evidence or fake.”

“I have none.”

“Then she did nothing and I would beat her ass in a fight.”

"Hye, stop the car, I'm throwing some hands with his guy."

You said as you rolled up the sleeves of your long-sleeved shirt.

"Oh my God, can we go back to the cute environment that we had ten seconds ago?"

Asked Hye looking at all of you through the rearview.

The three of you looked at each other.

“Nah.”

The three of you said at the same time just for then continue arguing about who would win in a fight between you and Seungkwan.

Hye sighed and giggled while slightly shaking his head. About thirty minutes later and some snack throwing, Seungkwan ended up falling asleep. Seokmin had his headphones on and was watching a movie that he had downloaded on his phone for the trip.

You were caressing the fur of the plushie that has it's tummy light up in a soft yellowish color.

“Seokmin.”

You called him while still looking at the plushie. Since the volume of his phone wasn't high he could listen to you, so he hummed in response.

“I don't like the fact that I got way too used to being all the time with you.”

You said while frowning, still caressing the soft fur.

“Why?”

“Because there's gonna be a day where we both get married and have children and won't have as much as time as we have right now. And when I think about it, it kinda scares me. I mean, what if I feel too pressured and can't talk to you and all of that just transforms into a ball of feelings I can't express because I'm scared of what they'll say. You're the only person I know for sure won't judge me.”

He stayed quiet for some seconds.

“Well... We can always text or call, there's always a way.”

You sighed, not convinced with his answer. He smiled slightly and placed a hand on top of your head, caressing and making it lean into his shoulder.

“Don't think about that right now, there's still plenty of time for that if you think about it now and stress about it would do everything but good to your little head.”

He said while caressing your hair.

“Sometimes I feel that you treat me like a child.”

“You are a kid on my eyes, like a little sister I have to take care of.”

You chuckled and yawned.

“I'm older than you.”

“4 months doesn't count.”

“It does.”

You couldn't see him, but you knew he had rolled his eyes.

“But you are as stubborn as a kid.”

“It's part of my beauty.”

“Sure.”

He was the one that chuckled this time. Both of you stayed silent again until you broke the silence.

“Seokmin”

“Yeah?”

“If you have kids first then I do, which I know is gonna happen, would you let me choose the name of one?”

“Sure.”

Silence again, but as always, you couldn't be quiet for long.

“Seokmin.”

He giggled.

“Yeah?”

“Do you love me?”

“Of course.”

“How much?”

“Isn't that too cliché?”

“Just answer.”

He huffed.

“You can't measure love in numbers, if I could say how much I love you it would still be short.”

“Yeah, that is cliché.”

Both if you silently laughed to not wake Seungkwan up.

“What about you! How much do you love me?”

“Hm... I love you more than I love gummy worms.”

“Oh my God, really?”

“Don't get too noisy about it or I'll love you as much as I love veggie chips.”

“Rude.”

“You're rude too.”

“No, I'm not.”

“Yes, you are, you didn't play Smash Bros with me.”

“You told me too late and the first time I asked you declined.”

You crossed your arms.

“Then you say you're not like a child.”

“I never said I'm not.”

“But- you know what? Let's just sleep.”

You chuckled and grabbed his arm, putting it around your shoulders and leaning into him. Then you remembered you hadn't thanked him for the small gift he had given you.

“Seokmin.”

You called ones last time.

“Yes?”

“Thanks for the bear.”

He hummed in response and closed his eyes. You yawned and closed your eyes as well, falling asleep in a lapse of 30 seconds in a kinda uncomfortable position that both of you always ended up in, but made it feel as cozy as a bed. It wasn't about the situation, place, or environment if you had a huge affection and love towards the person you were with, even the coldest place would feel like home.

81 notes · View notes

midnightskyletters · 3 years

Text

D-6

It's not even midnight and I can hear the crickets from the playfield outside. I have put some chilled music on, these days it’s a lot of soothing anime music, cause they make me feel at peace.

I stare at the road down from my window and I see a lot of cars pass by. Sometimes, I like to imagine what their lives are like, where are they going, what are they doing. You see, my mind is Hollywood. I could write a thousand stories about every single car and still come up with new ones.

My favourite story to imagine is the one of a lover rushing to get to the love of their life. The lovers on a run. The lovers who are being spontaneous. Those who are coming back from their first date. Those who are going on their first night of sex together. Those who will have their last night of sex together. But most importantly, those who love.

I’m a hopeless romantic. I’ve spent all my life yearning for a love that would be my fairy tale ending, my story, one where I’d be the main character. But it seems I got stuck with either the best friend or the guy who is nice and that would be good for you but you don’t see him that way. It’s a curse.

In all my chase of happiness through someone else, sometimes I forgot myself. I forgot who I was, what I stood for, what my ambitions were, and I’ve allowed someone to make me feel guilty for being myself. Important thing is, I’ve outgrown that part of me and now I know not to make the same mistakes (but I did them 3-4 times before just to make sure, wink wink).

As I’m now nearing the end of a decade, I can say I feel like emotionally, I’ve lived through it all. Diseases of relatives, depression, moving, facing my own insecurities and issues, a pandemic, and you know what ? I fucking survived it. It might not be a lot for some, but for someone who always thought he would never make it past 27, let me tell you, every day is a win.

There’s a quote that says “I love you today more than yesterday but less than tomorrow”, and I think that also applies to self love. I love myself (more or less) today, but not enough for tomorrow yet better than I did yesterday.

Getting through the past 10 years, I reflect a lot on myself and what have I achieved so far. I’ve done a lot for someone my age. Maybe more than I wish I had sometimes, but that's what makes me who I am today. I entered my 20′s afraid, scared, very homophobic towards myself. I’m a proud and loud out gay man, and have been out since I was 19 but it’s only after turning 25 that I started really accepting myself for who I was.

You see, it’s easy to love others for what you lack. But it’s harder to love yourself when you’re as flawed as I am. I see in others what I don’t see in me.

I missed so many occasions and opportunities just because I was too afraid to go for it, and a decade has passed, and every time I kept thinking “I’ll do it tomorrow” or “I’ll try later”, I should have acted on it, cause now I feel like I’ve lost on years of what could have been.

Instead, now, I’ve decided to enter that new era with arms wide open and no regrets.

Why Midnight Sky Letters ? It’s cause it’s when I’m the most productive, creative, and the most at peace with my thoughts. When the calm cool air of the night brushes my cheeks, and I’m sat at my laptop, overlooking the city at my desk, and I’m sat giving life to stories in whichever form I can. I feel like I need someone to talk to and everyone will hear you but not many people will listen, so writing to strangers on the internet is the healthiest way to cope. I want to keep writing about my feelings, and everything that’s going on so I can exorcise it out of my body. I will need to keep this on track.

I’m shaking as I’m writing this and will probably spend tomorrow dreading it but sometimes you have to force yourself into uncomfortable positions to make the best out of it.

So I’m doing it.

There is this guy I really like, and have for the past 2 years, but I never saw it going anywhere at first. It was just a fantasy. We decided to stay friends after he turned my date down cause he said he didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I’m not saying I want to ruin it now, I’m just saying that I know we’re strong enough as friends and as people to actually make it through whatever the outcome is. He’s the first person I can see myself build a life with. It’s crazy isn’t it ? I have a clear plan of what I want my life to be, and for the first time in a long time, someone fits in it again. We are so perfect for each other, completely in sync, and most importantly, we understand each other. We’re soulmates we once joked but... I didn’t mean it as a joke. And neither did he I think. He’s my soulmate, my best friend, my confident, my therapist sometimes and even my doctor calculating my caffeine intake, but all of the time, he’s the one person I want to talk to. I know it might be a long shot, but who knows.

Why should I do it ?

PROS: we get together, we keep getting on so well together, we start building a life together, we grow old, get a house, get a dog, get kids, and I can see myself reciting emo lyrics to him when we’re all older and reminiscing about our youths and all those gigs and adventures we went on.

CON: he decides we should remain best friends (hopefully) but it’s a little weird and we drift apart.

That would be my worst nightmare really. I’d rather have him as a friend than not at all in my life. I’ve lost too many people already. I don’t want to lose him. But I also need to know if I’m holding on to hope like a beaver to a twig and it’s strong enough to pull me out the river and onto the dam or if I should just give up with him and start maybe making the plan happen by myself and hope someone will come along the way, someone who will make me feel the same way he does.

I’ve made my decision.

Dear whoever’s reading this, please keep your fingers crossed.

Tomorrow, I’m telling my best friend that I’m in love with him.

I will leave you on a quote from one of my favourite songs ever (in general and by Taylor Swift):

“I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you (I can never look away) I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you (Things will never be the same) I've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night (Now I'm wide awake) And now I see daylight”

Here’s to hoping !

6 notes · View notes

bangtan-madi · 4 years

Text

All Of Our Lifetimes — Five: Requiem

Pairing — Taehyung x Reader

Tags — boyfriend!Taehyung, husband!Taehyung reincarnation au, lovers to strangers and to lovers again, established relationship, implied soulmate au

Genre — fluff, angst, crime (ish)

Word Count — 2.5k

Summary — Does love ever truly end, or does it simply take another form in a new life? The cycle is like clockwork: your lives end and you’re reborn again. You’ve lived it over and over. Each cycle, one of you loses your memories and is tragically unaware until the other finds and awakens their lover. After all these eons, all these lifetimes, is it possible to find each other again—even when neither of you awakens with your memories?

Part — 5 / 15

Warnings — language

A/N — Taglist is open! Comment, message, or ask and I’ll add you to the roster :) (Also I’m a freakin’ moron and forgot to post on Wednesday night like usual, which was yesterday. So enjoy this late chapter lol!)

Previous — Next

The first person you text is Namjoon. To you, he was the obvious choice. Friendly, open, and the first of the members to accept you into their enclave. It wasn't anything in particular, just saying hi and reminding him of who you are and that you were looking forward to tomorrow.

Not two minutes later, he replies and invites you to join a group chat he'd just created for you and all seven members.

"This way, we can all keep in touch!" he says. "DMs are fine, of course, but if we all wanna get to know each other, group chats can be a lot of fun."

He wasn't wrong. The remainder of Sunday evening is spent texting the members. On the way home, while you cook a quick dinner, and when you're relaxing before bed. They're flooding your messages with all kinds of hilarity. Jungkook and Hoseok are a fan of memes, while Yoongi seems to prefer the straightforward communication that gifs provide. Jimin and Namjoon adore emojis, and Jin sticks to his usual bad dad jokes. Taehyung replies to a question every now and then, but for the most part, he's absent from the conversation.

"You're awfully quiet, Taehyung-ssi," Jimin teases half-way through a conversation on whether or not mint ice cream is edible.

"I'm working, but you guys are blowing up my phone so it's hard to concentrate."

A sigh slips out as you reply, "You can put your phone on vibrate, Taehyung. Really, we won't mind. Or at least I certainly won't."

His response is speedy. "Okay. I'll talk to you all tomorrow."

Namjoon sends you a private message. "Don't let him bother you. He can get like this when he's focused. He doesn't do well with things distracting him."

"Yeah...you're probably right."

"Oh, I definitely am!"

"Hey, thank you again for everything. Except for Kim Taehyung, I really feel at ease with everyone. I feel like we're going to get along great at the set tomorrow."

"My pleasure, [Y/n]. I really wanted to avoid you feeling like more of an outsider than you probably already do. Being in a new country, even if you speak the language, can be scary. I've been to enough of them to know that there's no place like home...but maybe we can make it a bit easier."

A smile spreads across your face at his genuine spirit and pure kindness. "You have, big time! Each of you is really fun to be around. Honestly? I can't wait for 'Run' tomorrow! Can I ask where we're going? I didn't see a production report yet, and Director Hyeon hasn't responded to my email."

"We'll probably knock out a few episodes in one night, and I think we're closing down the Seoul Museum of Art. They're going to close a bit early so we can have it to ourselves. The games we have planned will happen there!"

You turn your eyes away from your cell phone at the mention of the museum. Recalling what happened over the weekend, returning to that place doesn't seem like a terrific idea. But then again, if you are there with Taehyung, maybe the two of you can finally talk about what you see in your dreams.

Maybe, just maybe, you can get those answers.

Your resolve strengthens a little bit, and a new message comes through, one not from the group chat or Namjoon. You click out of your conversation with the leader and check the notification.

"Who are you?"

The question is blunt and straightforward, coming from the second-youngest member via a private chat. You open the message, and your fingers hover above the keyboard for a few moments.

"Hi Taehyung. What do you mean?"

"I know we've met before. I can't remember where."

You bite your lip at his statement. So you were right; he does have some sort of familiarity with you, too. Now, to figure out just how much.

"Have you been to a concert before? Or a fan-sign? Maybe you worked on the set of Hwarang?"

"None of those. I actually didn't listen to much of your music before recently, and I've never been to a concert or fan-sign. And I've never worked on any set before."

"You weren't a fan of BTS? Even though you applied to Big Hit?"

"Nope. Actually, my roommate Milo was the Bangtan superfan. I heard of you guys through her, and then of Big Hit. I applied because I wanted to live in Seoul. It's been my dream all my life. Big Hit just happened to have the job I wanted in the ideal location. Call it fate, I guess."

A half-truth, but it will have to do for now.

"I know. I remember. Your gut feeling."

You pause, your fingers halting mid-type. How did he already know about that? You hadn't mentioned it in either the group chat or in the earlier conversation. In fact, the only person you'd mentioned the gut feeling about Seoul to was—

"I have to go, sorry. I'll see you at the museum tomorrow. I think you know the way."

The museum looks almost spooky after the sun begins to set over the buildings that touch the sky. Downtown Seoul is as beautiful as ever as the bright oranges and pastel pinks bathe the exteriors of each in brilliant colors. If it weren't for the thirty or so Big Hit employees rushing about, you might've stood at the entrance for much longer than thirty seconds.

But the moment you're on-scene, you go to work. One of the producers flags you down, offers a brief introduction, and tells you where to hide the English words.

"Have you seen what we did a few episodes back, eighty-seven and eighty-eight?" he asks, shoving a stack of stickers into your hands. "When we put Hangul all over the Oil Tank Culture Park?"

You shake your head, offering a sheepish smile. "I haven't...exactly watched too much 'Run.'"

The producer waves it off. "Just run around the building and stick these wherever you think seven boys may or may not find them. Feel free to go crazy. We have fifteen minutes to get everything set before filming starts. The boys should be here soon. So, go! Once you're done, come back here. While they're running around, you can help me with the grading system."

"Grading system?"

"They're going to make sentences with the words they find. Since you know English the best, you can award points to each word based on difficulty in using."

A smile spreads across your face. "Got it! Sounds fun."

You speed off into the museum, weaving past the sound and lighting crew that are attempting to set up. Several of the museum staff have also stayed behind to give guidance, and you're relieved that the boys and company have the entire building to themselves. This wouldn't be possible during daytime hours when the public is here.

You begin sticking several dozen stickers along the walls, on the frames of pieces of art, on the marble floor. Basically, anywhere you can reach. You cover the Van Gogh exhibit with difficult words like "effervescence" and "halcyon," along with colorful words like "lilac" and "vermilion."

The further into the building you move, the fewer and fewer people you see. Once you've passed the room of modern art and approach the Winged Victory of Samothrace, there's no one in sight. Down to your last few words, you slip into the dimmed hallway and turn the corner.

Winged Victory is just as you remember. Tall and beautiful and haunting. The statue is still so familiar to you. Looking at the base, you can almost see the body of the woman from your dream. Right before you and Taehyung started running for your lives, this was where a murder occurred.

You flinch at the memory of the blood, but something else inside you is pulling you out of the room and towards the fountain. Last time you saw it, you ran from the room and left the friendly acquaintance behind. Part of you wonders what he must've thought. Surely, you looked like you'd seen a ghost.

But you might as well have.

Your feet tip-toe on the marble. The boys have most certainly arrived, and the filming has started from the sound of it. Their crazed and excited laughter fills the echo-y halls. Seeing as there aren't any stickers this far into the museum, you take your chances and continue moving deeper in. The producer could wait just a few more minutes, couldn't he?

The last of the sunlight ricochets across each panel of glass in the dome ceiling, greeting you with shards of light skewed in every direction. Like fireflies dancing together, they bring an almost magical aura to the open space, one very different from the horrors of your nightmares. The columns are made of ever-moving fire, and the fountain is made of glittery stars.

As you stand in the doorway, your throat drys and tightens. Seeing this place again, no matter how different, brings back the memories you can't explain. Are they even memories? Surely, that has to be what they are. But from when or from whom, you can't explain. They're a requiem for someone you hardly know.

Does Taehyung know the answers? Does he know more than you about this event you keep playing over and over in your mind? He's been in your dreams ever since you were a child, as a version much older than you were then and even older than you are now. Who has just one dream their whole lives, unless the explanation is that he has that dream, too?

You shake your head at the absurdity of it all. "What am I doing here?" you murmur, running your hand through your hair.

"Are you okay?"

The deep voice behind you causes you to jump and spin, eyes wide as you spot a familiar face at the entrance to the fountain. Taehyung stands with his hands in the pockets of his pants, his head tilted as he observes you.

"Holy shit, don't sneak up on people!"

The brunet smirks a little and shrugs. "Didn't mean to, sorry. You were staring off into space and didn't even hear me walk down the hallway. And it's hard to be quiet on marble floors."

"God, sorry, I didn't mean to snap." You run your hands over your face. "This museum has...some strange memories for me. I thought coming back here would help, but I think I've made it worse."

"How do you mean? I thought you hadn't been to Seoul before?"

"I haven't. It's complicated." Your eyes flicker to the corridor behind him. "Where's your cameraman?"

"I ditched him, told him I was running off to the restroom. But I didn't see you anywhere, so I figured you'd be back here."

Eyebrows pulling together, you reply, "How'd you figure that?"

"Well, you seemed really freaked out last weekend. You ran out of here like a ghost was chasing you. I was honestly worried until I saw you at Big Hit the next day, and you seemed fine, so..."

He trails off, and the realization of his words hits you. "Wait...shit, were you the one I was talking to both times I visited here this week? The one in the hoodie and mask?"

Taehyung nods, though there's a tiny line between his brows that shows he's as confused as you are. "Yes? I thought you knew that from day one, when you spoke to me at the Van Gogh exhibit."

Shaking your head fervently, you spout, "No! Not at all. I had no idea, honest to god. I just thought you were shy or introverted or maybe had a tough time talking to girls. I never, ever thought you were..." You gesture to all of him.

His brown eyes widen as he steps closer and out of the doorway. "Wait, really? You had no idea."

"None!"

He chuckles softly, turning to gaze at the fountain as the sunlight fades to soft blues of night. "I'd assumed you knew who I was. You were so open and friendly to a perfect stranger. I thought you'd recognized me."

"Not at all," you retort. "I was being nice and friendly because there was something about you that was so damn familiar. Kind of like this whole place, actually. I don't know. I can't explain it."

Taehyung nods and runs a hand through his curly locks. "I won't lie, there's something off about this place for me, too." He shifts his attention from the fountain to you. "You weren't lying about anything you said before, were you? About you being called to Seoul and not knowing why?"

You lock eyes with him as you reply, "I promise, everything I said was true."

"Then why did you run away?"

A heavy sigh slips out, and you sit down on the water fountain's edge. Looking into the water to your side, you run various ways to go about this disclosure. Blunt truth? A comforting lie? A bit of both?

"[Y/n]?"

"I've had this...nightmare, ever since I was a little girl. Ever since I could remember. It's always the same. I'm running for my life with someone I know that I care deeply about. We're trying to escape a murderer who's closing in behind us. He's just slaughtered one of our friends and he's coming for us."

You pause to take a breath, and Taehyung takes that pause to sit beside you. He doesn't say a word, only waist patiently for you to continue.

"We're eventually trapped. The man with me tells me to run while he distracts the murderer. Of course, I don't listen. There's a fight. We're both injured. And we both die."

There's a pregnant pause in the air before Taehyung hangs his head and murmurs, "That sounds horrible."

"I haven't told you everything," you reply. "I'm afraid I shouldn't...but what the hell." You gesture to the space around you. "In my dream, the entire thing is set here, in the Seoul Museum of Art. Our friend was killed at the base of Winged Victory. The fight happens among these columns. And the man and I, we die in this very fountain, bleeding out from gunshot wounds."

You turn to face the man beside you, seeing his eyes shift from his feet to yours as his head tilts slightly. "And every time, it's the same three people besides me. The same woman at the base of Winged Victory, the same murderer with a gun, the same man that this nightmare-version of me loves. I have no idea who the first two are..."

In your hesitation, Taehyung says, "But you know the last one."

Nodding, your knuckles turn white as you drip your knees. Here it goes. All or nothing. No turning back now.

"I do. He's—"

"—Me."

Taglist — @just-call-me-trash-can, @jaienn

85 notes · View notes

8makes1cheese · 4 years

Text

f2l with Song Mingi♡

Pairing: Mingi X Reader

RoommateAU, (and like High SchoolAU in the beginning and kinda CollegeAU?)

Tags: cursing, shitty attempts at comedy, fluff, kinda sorta suggestive?, ig drug use and drinking?(booze and weed)

Words: 2.5k

A/N: Okay so, this is my first bullet scenario thing? and its weird...like this is so weird but I tried XD it ended up this weird mix between bullet scenario and oneshot fic and i-

...............all I can do is practice and try to get better but yeah. SO HERES THIS :D (im srry don hate me T-T)

-Finding Your Best Friend-

this bb would be the best-est friend you would have in this world

probably why you fell for him in the first place, but let's not get to ahead of ourselves

you guys met freshman year of high school

your guys' mutual friend Yunho is really the reason why

you just moved to town, and since said town was small, it was clear to you that everybody knew everybody else

you felt pretty lonely on the first day because of that

second day of freshman year is where is all started to come together

you were looking for a nice spot to sit and have your lunch outside because you didn't want to look like the weird loner person eating by themselves in silence

you found a pretty spot under a big tree near the track field, you put a random cool cake making tutorial on your phone and ate your lunch

the video was at a part where they were placing intricate designs in frosting all over the cake when you hear "Whoa, that is so cool!"

you jump about 3 feet in the air and immediately gather up your phone and get up to spin around to see who interrupted your quiet time

a young man, not sure his grade, with peach colored hair and a worried expression on his face, raises his hands in a surrender pose

'okay but what the hell was he doing, watching my phone behind the tree?'

well reader, we'll never know

"I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to scare you that bad! Really, I am so so so sorry!"

you, still in shock, just nod at him

now you're both just standing in front of each other

not saying anything

....well

this is awkward

"I-I'm Yunho...by the way."

you clear your throat, not sure why, nervous habit

"[Y/N].."

"So, uh... Haven't seen you around here before.."

once you explained you were new, and new to the town in general. There was no escape.

you were now best friends with the giant teddy bear and there was nothing you could do about it

yunho immediately took you under his wing and showed you around the campus. Then the town itself after school was out.

but Ro this seems to be turning into a yunho x reader fic/ bullet scenario

stfu I'm getting there

what did this turn into even

so now you and Yunho are bffs

enter giant teddy bear 2.0

you and yunho are hanging out at lunch, it's become a usual for the past two weeks

and Yunhos other bff is becoming sus about why Yunho hasn't been eating with him at lunch or doesn't seem to have as much time after school for him

that's when giant teddy bear 2.0 (if you don't know that its Mingi then idek-) finds his bestie with some random chick

a really adorable random chick

"So this is where you have been?"

you and Yunho start, not expecting someone to find your guys' spot

Also, deja vu, amiright?

"Oh, hey Mingi!" Yunho greets the tall dirty blonde haired teddy bear

And you're totally not sitting there thinking, 'holy shit, he is...wow.'

and that's how it all started

he stayed and introduced himself and you hit it off just as well as you and yunho did

maybe even better..

he started showing up everyday, at the what was dubbed 'The Cool Kids Spot™️' by you all, with yunho

even tho we all know you guys were NOT the cool kids

then it went to him being at the spot before everyone showed up

so he could see you first

then it turned into him meeting you up after class so you both could grab your food together and meet up Yunho at The Spot™️

before you could even realize it, he became your person

you were the first person he ran up to and hugged after him and Yunhos dance group took home 1st place at a competition

he was the first person you called when you were told that your poem won an award

you were the person he'd come to if he needed any kind of advice

and he was the first person you went to if you needed to get out of your head or your anxiety was getting to you

the high school years went by so fast

a lot changed

but what never changed was Mingi, he may have grown

and damn he grew

but he was your constant (and yes, yunho too, we can't forget yunho bro)

-Knowing They're The One-

high school came and went

Mingi and Yunho were accepted by a prestigious performing arts school

you, however, were going to just a regular college

luckily, both schools weren't terribly far from each other

which is why, instead of suffering in dorms, you and Mingi decided to get a apartment together, not far from both schools

yunhos ass stayed with his parents because they live like right next to the school, lucky hoe

you all still make time for each other

but you and Mingi prefer to stay in, order takeout and watch random stuff on YouTube

whenever you or Mingi went out it was always together (unless it was classes)

Grocery shopping? Together. Doctors appointment? Together. Girls night? Together. Guys night? Together.

"So, you must be suffering right now" his friend Yeosang said to him on a rare guys night that didn't involve you.

Mingi looked at Yeosang perplexed, ignoring whatever Wooyoung was talking to him about

"What are you talking about?"

"You and [Y/N] are literally always together, the fact she isn't here surprises me."

Mingi laughed. "We're not always together."

A cacophony of "LIES" and "BULLSHIT" filled the air as all of Mingi friends called him out on his bullshit

Mingi could feel his face heating up

"W-well, so what if we are! Were best friends AND roommates."

"And lovers~" his friend San whispered in his ear from behind and laughed, dancing away before Mingi could hit him

"We're not together!" Mingi exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

"But you want to be."

Mingi turned to look at the owner of the voice. It was Yunho, leaning against the entrance of the kitchen everyone was gathered in

He was looking at Mingi with a smirk

Mingi knew Yunho knew how he felt about you

and not because he told him

well...he kinda did

FLASHBACK TIME

it was your guys' high school graduation

more specifically, the night of, and you were all partying and yunhos house

celebrating the fact that you all were officially adults now

lol you thought

and what better way to celebrate that than with underage drinking

be safe kids, don't drink irresponsibly

and Mingi. Got. Wasted.

by the end of the night, he was crying (and maybe puked once or twice...) in Yunhos arms about how beautiful you were, and how amazing and talented you were

wouldn't shut up about how soft and perfect you feel in his arms when he hugs you or vice versa

"She is my soulmate." After every other sentence mentioning how perfect you are

but wait, where were you while Mingi was crying and puking you ask?

That night you met Yeonjun, who is now one of your closest friends

at first, a friend of Wooyoungs, who you all became friends with junior year, along with his best friend San

Yeonjun, who went to a different school across town, was invited along by Woo and San

you and Yeonjun hit it off so well, drinking and laughing, and talking about how much he loves his boyfriend Soobin, and maybe you drunkingly going on about how amazing Mingi is

however, Mingi didn't know Yeonjun

and what he saw that night was you, enjoying your time with someone who wasn’t him, laughing at jokes that weren't his, hanging all over someone who could never know you as well as he did (and that totally wasn't the reason that Mingi drank like 2 bottles of straight vodka, not at all)

and at that moment

he knew

he fucked up

he was in love with you

OKAY END OF FLASHBACK

Mingi wasn't sure what to say

he could deny it sure, but he knew it was useless

not after every person in the room gave him a knowing smirk after Yunhos comment

“She doesn't-”

“Oh, whatever. you guys are literally already a couple. And dont even try to deny that. If she was here right now, she’d probably be on your lap and you two would be sitting in some corner of the house whispering some weird drunk lovey shit to each other.”

well...

Mingi really didn't have a argument for that

that night he came home sober

but you didn't know that until months later when he told you he wasn't actually drunk

anyways when he got home you were sitting in the living room

music playing away on YouTube while you type away on your laptop

you didn't hear him come in, softly singing along to the song under your breath

he stood there for a moment and just..looked at you

your hair was a mess

you had on the same clothes as yesterday

probably haven't done a skincare routine in months

you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his life

he felt so much love swell in his chest

hes known it for a while now but at that moment all that was going on in his head was

“That’s my soulmate. I love her. I love her so much.”

“Hey.”

he wasn't sure if he had said it loud enough but apparently he had because you flinched and turned to see who the ‘intruder’ was

“Oh, Mingi! Shit, you scared me...” you laughed. “How was guys night?”

He made his was over to sit on the couch as you told him how your paper was coming along and then waited for him to answer your question

he sat for a good minute not saying anything

“Mingi?”

he looked at you

“you okay hun?” you asked, placing your hand on his cheek

and then he kissed you

it was so quick, you had no time to register that it was happening at all

and he left just as quickly

slamming the door to his bedroom and leaving you flustered and panicked

-So....Lovers?-

the morning after the kiss was the most awkward moment that you and Mingi had ever had

luckily it didn't last long at all

you two were silent, awkwardly making breakfast

then Mingi busted out with “Man, I’m so hungover! I barely remember anything from last night!”

“Do...do you remember anything from when you came home?”

“No, to be honest, I don't even remember coming home...”

-cue forced laughter-

-cue Mingi not trying to be disappointed when you looked relieved-

he asked you if anything happened and tried not to feel sad about the fact you were going on about how nothing happened and he just came home and went to bed

why wouldn't you mention the kiss? maybe everyone had it wrong, you didn't feel the same. why else would you avoid it?

but everything went back to...normal

you two would cuddle every night on the couch

you showed up to every guys night like usual

(there may or may not have been more knowing smirks thrown Mingis way)

he showed up to the rare girls nights you'd have with your (like 2) girlfriends

(they literally just consisted of everyone chilling in some secluded spot and sparking up a blunt or two and bull-shittng)

but everything wasn't normal

because even though it lasted 0.0002 seconds long

Mingi cannot stop thinking about that kiss

neither can you for that matter

that's when you confided in your bestie Yeonjun

who knew all about your love for your other bestie

you went to Yeonjuns one Saturday afternoon without mingi

its been a month since the kiss and Yeonjun is only disappointed in the fact that you didn't tell him sooner

his solution was simple, just tell him how you feel

its so god damn obvious he feels the same

but who are you to do the simple thing right?

so what do you do?

you go with Soobins idea

and :) you:) go:) on:) a:) blind:) date:) with one of soobin and yeonjuns friends:)))))))

well

at least you were supposed to..

the night comes when you were supposed to meet at a nice cafe with their friend Beomgyu

you. were. lookin. FIRE BABY

slaayyyyy

you were in the kitchen grabbing your keys

and maybe prolonging the fact that your going out with someone who isn't MIngi

when Mingi walked out to heat himself up a noodle cup

and maybe one for you too because he didn't think you were going anywhere and was going to ask if you wanted to chill in his room and play mario kart

his jaw DROPPED when he saw you

he felt like he was just kicked in the gut, all breath left his lungs

and he may or may not have gotten an instant boner but-

he cleared his throat to get your attention

“You look...nice.” wow, Mingi, smooth

“O-oh, thanks, um... ill be back later okay?”

when Mingi asked where you'll be going and you said you had a blind date, he swears to this day he blacked out for a moment

next thing he knew he had you pushed against the counter

“Mingi-”

“No.”

“w-what..”

“You don't have a date.”

“But I do-”

then his lips were pressed against yours

and unlike the first, this one lasted a hell of a lot longer than 0.0002 seconds

it wasn't fireworks or butterflies or a sudden realization of unconditional love

it was rough and messy and filled with so many emotions including relief that your love for each other can finally blossom

you didn't say a word to each other when you parted

you stared at each other for a while, panting with big smiles on your faces

once your breathing returned to normal you gently pushed him back so you weren't pressed against the counter anymore

“I’m going to change in PJ's.”

Mingis smile lit up his whole face. “But I thought you had a date..”

“No, I don't.” you kissed his cheek and left to change.

-YES LOVERS FINALLY-

so you guys never really sat down and were like ‘hey so are we...?’

because you both knew you just....were

after that night you guys started acting like you had been dating for months

it was just like before

because of course, like always, Yunho was right

you guys already acted like you were dating

now kisses and a lot more were added to the mix

which just made everything 1000x better

everyone knew it was just a matter of time

you loved waking up to his arms wrapped around your waist and him softly snoring in your ear

he loved waking up to you peppering kisses all over his collar bones and neck

your loved bloomed♡

A/N pt2: Im sorry if the end seems so rushed as well, I started running out of steam and my mind blanked but I didn't want to prolong this and never post it...like i do with everything...

Thank you for reading!

30 notes · View notes

thominho-incorrectquotes · 3 years

Text

I need you, always

This is my entry for Thominho Week 2020, Day 7 “Soulmate AU”

Characters: Thomas x Minho

2129 words

Tags: Canon compliant, post canon, Soulmate AU, fluff

Summary: Thomas never felt worst. Not even when he went against his own promise and told Minho what he did to Newt. Not even when he pulled the trigger… Okay, maybe not as much, but he was still feeling bad. Really bad.

Note: I'm so sorry, I was supposed to post this 2 days ago, but I got busy again. Also, this fic is kinda part 2 of this fic.

You can also read it on AO3 and ff.net

________________________________

Thomas never felt worst. Not even when he went against his own promise and told Minho what he did to Newt. Not even when he pulled the trigger… Okay, maybe not as much, but he was still feeling bad. Really bad.

He was sad, irritated and he had the feeling that his heart was missing, like it had been ripped out of his chest. And he didn’t understand why or where it came from.

Everything was fine in the Safe Haven. People were doing well. It was a peaceful life. So why did Thomas felt so bad?

He was seating by the beach, like he always did with Minho when they were done with their tasks for the day. When they arrived to the Safe Haven, the other immunes somehow wanted the two of them to be part of the small leader group. They said that they trusted them ever since they guided them out of the Maze and brought them there. Everyone had agree, even Gally. Given that Minho had a natural authority and Thomas was quite diplomatic, they worked well together. Of course, older immunes were also part of this team of leaders, like Jorge.

Right now, Minho was away with a small group of immunes for an exploration trip of few days. Thomas had wanted to go, but since he was one of the leaders, he had to stay. Now, the cabin he shared with the Asian felt empty. Lunch time felt dull, his best friend was not there to crack a joke. And he was alone to go to the beach. Thomas really missed the older boy. He had been gone for only few days and was supposed to be back soon, but he still missed him.

Lost in thoughts, he didn’t realized that Gally came and sat beside him. Turning to the taller boy, a bit irritated because it was his and Minho’s spot, but he still greeted him. It was weird to admit, but Gally became quite a good friend over time.

“How are you?” the blond asked.

“Fine.”

“Don’t lie to me Greenie.”

Thomas hated that nickname. But coming from Gally, it kind of felt nostalgic, so he never said anything when he called him that.

“You clearly aren’t yourself right now” he continued. “Not that you smile much anyway, but nowadays you’re just… depress.”

The brunet didn’t reply and instead stared at the ocean, a view he couldn’t never be tired of. What could he have said anyway? He knew that he hasn’t been the loveliest person lately.

“You miss him, don’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question. And Thomas knew exactly who Gally was referring to.

“How’d you know?”

“It’s pretty obvious shank” he laughed. “You two are always together.”

Thomas stayed silent. Once again, Gally was right, he just couldn’t go and deny it.

“You know, I have this theory...” the Builder began. “When I was in Denver, I heard something pretty interesting.”

“And what could it be” Thomas asked in a tone that indicated that he didn’t really care.

“It’s about soulmates.”

“Soulmates?” That was intriguing.

“Yeah, soulmates.” Gally was grinning, which did nothing good to his disfigured face. “Apparently, soulmates were a thing back then. It’s now more of a legend, because of the Flare and the many deaths it caused. But anyway, it says that people are bound to meet someone at some point in their lives and form a strong bond with them that will never break. It can be anyone. A friend, a sibling, a partner… Anyone.” Thomas was confused. “Why are you telling me all that?”

“I think you and Minho are soulmates” Gally answered.

A bomb was dropped. The brunet stood up in shock. He couldn’t believe his friend just said that.

“W-what? Have you lost your mind?!” he almost yelled.

“Let me explain” Gally sighed. He should have anticipated this reaction. “The thing is; from the moment the soulmates meet, they can’t be away from each other for too long or else they’ll start to feel miserable, lonely and depress. It apparently feels like your heart is not there anymore. Tell me it isn’t how you’re feeling right now.”

Thomas was speechless. He let himself he let himself fall back on the sand stunned. The taller boy was looking at him, deadpanned.

“But…” he tried, but was unable to form a sentence.

“Listen” Gally continued. “Back in the Glade, Minho had never really been close to someone. He was often alone, until you came. Sure, he got along with Newt and some other Gladers, but close? Like how close you two are? Never.”

Thomas was surprised to hear that. His best friend was such an amazing person in his mind, he just assumed that he could attract and befriend anyone. He was funny, smart, strong… and quite attractive.

But then he thought back of that night in the Pit, where the Asian boy told him that Thomas was the only one who could understand him. He remembered that connection he felt with the Keeper at that moment. They had slept together that night. It had felt so good to finally have someone he could count on.

He remembered how he felt when he got reunited with Minho after they had been apart during the trials. He remembered the joy and relief he felt. He remembered how having the older boy in his arms felt, how happy he felt to know that he was alive.

Okay, maybe Gally wasn’t that wrong.

“Is it real? This whole soulmate thing?” he asked.

“I don’t know, but if it is, I’m pretty sure that you and Minho are soulmates” Gally replied with a shrug. “And thinking about it, I think Alby and Newt also were soulmates. They were both so close.”

Thomas didn’t want to think about Newt. It still hurt so much, even after telling Minho. But he admitted that after Alby’s death, the blond boy never was the same.

“Okay, and what do I do with this new information?”

“That’s your problem” Gally mocked him. “It was just tiring seeing you so depress, I thought it could help you if you understood why you’re feeling like that.”

“Wow, thanks Gally, I never thought you could be so considerate” Thomas replied sarcastically.

“Minho’s really rubbing on you” the boy snickered. “You two are really made for each other.”

At that, the brunet blushed, but turned his head, not wanting the other to see his red face.

“You know that he still haven’t forgave me?” Gally informed.

“Forgive you for what?”

“For trying to kill you. For wanting to kill you.”

“Nonsense, he did” Thomas scoffed.

“No he hasn’t. He hates my guts. I can barely talk to the guy.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah.” Gally grinned. “He really cares about you, you know? Never saw someone so protective…”

A million thoughts were running in Thomas’s mind. He was analyzing every moment, every details of his relationship with Minho. Every times the Keeper had been there to make sure he was safe. Every time he saved him.

He also came to the realization that ever since they first met, back in the Glade, he has wanted to be around the Keeper. His weird desire to become a runner must had come from that. At least, a part of it. He liked to be with the boy, having him all for himself. Their alone moments on the beach or on their cabins were times Thomas enjoyed the most.

His best friend was the most important person in his life. He knew that. But Gally just came and shook all his believes. Was it really more than that?

“Anyway, I have things to do” the Builder said as he stood up, shaking the sand that had gotten on him. “Have a nice evening.”

“You too…”

And like that, Gally left Thomas to his own thoughts.

***

Two days had passed. Thomas was doing his usual tour, helping some people and making sure everything in the Safe Haven was doing well, when he heard someone yelling that the exploration team was back.

He never ran faster. And he had run a lot in his life!

He just needed to see Minho.

Over the past days, his discussion with Gally had kept him awake at night. He just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Was Minho really his soulmate?

However, right now, he just wanted to see him. He had missed Minho so much.

When he finally saw the massive built and perfect raven hair of this best friend, he stopped breathing. He was there.

Without having the time to process anything, his body rushed towards Minho. He almost knocked him over by hugging him as if his life depended on it. Immediately, he felt better. The hole in his chest was gone. The sadness he carried with him also disappeared. He just… he really had missed him so much.

Minho was also holding him tight, nuzzling into Thomas’s neck. He couldn’t let go of him. At some point, they ended up on the ground, still holding each other. The world around them was a blur. The only thing that mattered was finally being together.

They stayed like that, silent, for what felt like hours. It just felt so good.

“Oh damn” Minho finally said, letting out a breath he was holding. “I’m never going away without you again.”

He feels the same Thomas thought. He feels the same!

It was clear now. He loved Minho. He was in love with him. And they were soulmates, there was no denying anymore.

“Yeah, you better” he replied, his voice muffled by Minho’s neck.

“Come help us lover boys” said Frypan who came to help unpack. “You’ll have plenty of time to make out later.”

Both boys blushed.

“We weren’t-“

“Yeah, but you were about to. Now help us!”

They reluctantly separated, slightly embarrassed. But they were happy to have each other again.

***

They went to their cabin not much later and as Minho was untying his shoes and went to lay on his bed, Thomas couldn’t help the warm feeling he felt over seeing his best friend back home. He realized that without him in their cabin, it haven’t felt like a home at all. It had been cold and empty. Now, it was warm and lively.

Once he got rid of his shoes, he saw Minho with arms open on his bed. Thomas immediately latched onto him. He missed their cuddling session too. He laid his head on the Keeper’s chest, his arms wrapped around his torso.

“Don’t ever leave me again. No for so long, it felt horrible” Thomas mumbled, drowning in all the feelings he felt about finally having his friend back.

“I promise.”

Minho was running his hand in the soft brown hair, making the boy almost purr. It wasn’t something abnormal for them to be like that. Ever since that night in the Pit, physical touch was a regular occurrence for them.

But something was bothering the brunet. He needed to tell him.

“You know…” Thomas began, breaking the silence. “Gally told me something weird.”

“And what is it?” The Asian had almost growled. Okay, so he really hated Gally…

“Well, it’s about soulmates…”

He then repeated what the Builder had told him. Every details. Minho was listening quietly, stroking the younger boy’s face with his thumb. He could feel the nervousness in Thomas voice.

When the Runner finished, his heart was beating faster than usual. There was still a slight chance that the older boy didn’t feel the same and doubted there were soulmates.

“That explains a lot” Minho however stated, to Thomas’s relief. “It was a bit weird for me, getting so attached to you, even after what you did for me back in the Maze. I guess it was why.”

“Yeah… it explains a lot…”

“Well… I’m happy my soulmate is the person I love.” It was said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Like something Thomas should have known for a long time.

“W-wait what?”

“What?”

“Y-you love m-me?”

Minho stared at him deadpanned.

“Yes, you dumb shank.”

“No… as in… in love with me?”

“Yes, you dumb shank” he repeated. “Really, after all this time you didn’t figure it out? I thought you were supposed to be bright.”

“But…”

“No, you’re dumb, just admit it” Minho laughed.

Thomas chuckled along. He never felt so happy. He was filled with joy that his feelings were reciprocated. He climbed on top of the other boy and grinned at him.

“Okay, I’m an idiot.” The Asian shook his head in agreement. “But I guess I’m your idiot.”

“Of course you are… Now come down and kiss me.”

___________________________

I hope you enjoyed this!

I personally really enjoyed this challenge! It had been a while since I wrote something in english, so just for that it was pretty challenging, but writing a fic everyday, coming up with ideas and just writing about my favorite ship was just really the best!

7 notes · View notes

asgardianthot · 4 years

Text

Flesh And Bones – Part 8

Soulmate AU

Series Masterlist

A/N: been a while :l sorry for not updating for a while!! As usual I’m back with a lot written down!! Part 9 will be up soon (and also the last part of Funeral Chuckle, if you’re reading that one). Here, have some domesticity and some kisses and a lil angst :)

Words: 3187

*This work is also on AO3

"You're doing great, Barnes." Sam congratulated the man, encouraging him to keep going.

Bucky breathed hard through his nose, controlling his breath as he punched the bag down in the training area. While he worked on his punches, Sam monitored his improvements in the caution department.

The whole idea was for Bucky to be able to control his own strength when using his hands, so that he learned not to get himself hurt. Ergo, so that Sam wouldn't get hurt. Hydra had taught him to hit targets, not to care for himself while doing so. Whereas any trained soldier would land on their feet neatly and placing their weight on their toes, Bucky was told to land. At all costs. No matter if he wrecked his bones in the process. Thus, whereas Sam punched his targets in a way that wouldn't break his knuckles, balancing his strength, Bucky wasn't as preoccupied. He didn't mind the occasional sting, and if he got himself hurt, he healed pretty fast. Of course, that was before the bond.

Suddenly, Bucky began punching a bit rougher and Sam felt the familiar tingling on his knuckles, numbing his articulations a little.

"Easy." He warned Bucky.

The latter stopped with a grunt and dropped both arms to his sides.

"Sorry." He panted slightly.

"No, that was good." Sam made sure not to forget focusing on the positive advances, "You're getting a hold of this."

Barnes didn't nod, but he didn't seem to be negating the stated fact, either. Instead, he looked like he was considering it while he fetched his water bottle. He gulped down a quarter of it in one go, never losing eye contact with Sam, and panted out in exhaustion when he got rid of the bottle.

"You're not saying it out of pity?" he verified, tentatively.

Sam merely rolled his eyes.

"I don't pity you." He reminded Bucky, "And you really are learning this pretty fast."

The appellee reflected on the partial compliment for a second, and then his face grew a small smile.

"Great." He finally agreed, still working on steadying his breaths, "That means you're not getting hurt."

While Bucky didn't have anything meaningful to say or add, he couldn't look away from the man that had been couching him the past hour. He thought about how hard the adapting process would be and for how long, but having him right there and being able to appreciate the goodness that Sam irradiated, he thought about how much harder it would be not being Sam's partner.

"What?" Wilson eventually felt too observed.

Bucky wanted to say something cheesy. Desperately wanted to pamper Sam somehow, but he opted for closing the gap between them. He took one step closer until their bodies pressed slightly, and put a hand on Sam's waist.

"This okay?" he checked.

The smile that Sam bore was almost unnoticeable, but Bucky did catch it.

"Yeah." Sam breathed out.

As Bucky planted his own lips on his and pushed a wet kiss into them, Sam's insides swelled and churned in the best possible way. Be it through the excessive effort Barnes was putting into controlling the bond, or through that tiny kind gesture, Bucky conveyed how much he cared. And Sam had never felt so cared for before, or at least, not like that. Bucky was different. He was the kind of man who would swear to you his undying loyalty by getting back on his own two feet for you.

When their lips parted, Sam took a hold of the metal hand in his.

"Told you we could do this." He said with pride.

His words alluded the arm control and the strength balance, but he also meant the bond. And somehow, he was referring to the love part, also.

"Sorry I ever doubted it." Bucky smirked up at him.

The common room seemed to have come back to normality, finally. Seeing how nobody was avoiding anyone anymore, the heroes managed to eat breakfast while sharing the same space, and coexist like they used to.

In fact, the couple looked more comfortable than ever, plopped on the couch and watching TV. Bucky rested his body against Sam’s, while the latter wrapped one arm around him, occasionally running his fingers through his hair. Behind them and having their breakfast on the table, were Wanda and Steve.

“You guys are disgusting.” Wanda joked, disapproving the entire couch scene with her expression.

“You’re so jealous.” Bucky replied, not even dignifying her with a look, “Pass the remote?”

“Come get it.” The young woman scoffed.

Bucky twisted his neck as much as he could in his current position, only to give her an offended grimace.

“Come on!”

“You can’t get away from Sam for half a second? Is that it?” she teased.

“I don’t wanna get up.”

“Neither do I. Come get your remote.”

Finally, Sam interjected with annoyance. “I’ll get the remote.”

As he stood up and abandoned the embrace, Bucky groaned at the lack of support and dramatically let his body fall lopsided on the cushions.

“That’s exactly what I was avoiding.” He complained.

“Admitting that you were too comfortable?” Wanda narrowed her eyes in a mocking manner, “Just say it, lover boy.”

During the whole interaction, Steve had been hiding behind his morning paper– some habits die hard. Eventually, he had to at least acknowledge the childish playfulness filling the room. It was so refreshing, yet so different, coming from Bucky and Sam as a couple. The idea was still settling in the back of Steve’s mind, but he couldn’t deny it somehow felt right. Too right, like they were a couple the entire time and he just hadn’t noticed, with all the bickering and taunting.

Nevertheless, Steve laughed, “This will be easy getting used to.” He admitted, still focused on his paper.

“What’s gotten into you?” Bucky accused Wanda, even though he knew she was just messing with him.

“I’ve never seen you like this, it’s weird.” She explained, a disgusted look on her face, “I’m starting to think I want you to go back to your glum and glimmy self.”

“Not if I’m here.” Sam negated the possibility, sitting back on the couch, but not half as snugged and sunk as before.

The young woman cringed even harder at the sound of that, “Ew.”

Steve rose his sight to give Wanda an amused look, only for his eyes to be hyper-aware of the person walking in. Natasha stepped through the doors with a work tablet in hand and a preoccupied, vague expression.

Steve was the first to notice, “What is it?” he asked her in that very leader-ish tone that characterized him.

The redhead breathed, almost pacing, “I got a tip for a next mission. Looks pretty clean.”

Sam knew when Natasha was worried. It wasn’t hard to miss, but it also seemed like it wasn’t an urgent, life or death matter, thus he simply gave her a push so that she could explain the matter as quick as possible.

“And?”

The woman directed her eyes to Bucky, then at Sam, and she talked to the latter, exclusively. In fact, as she spoke, not even once did she take her eyes an inch away from Sam’s.

“It’s a Hydra base.” She set the information loose, ripped the Band-Aid off, “One of the last ones.”

Sam tensed up immediately, whereas, as attentive as he was to the smallest shift in Bucky’s breathing, he didn’t feel him tense up.

“Let me go see it.” Wilson stood up, meaning they should talk about it far away from the common room.

“Yeah, that’s probably better.” Nat agreed.

Ten seconds went by after the pair left the room, and the room was still immersed in sepulchral silence. When the sound of their heels died down in the distance, Steve stood up, not saying a word, and followed behind.

Bucky raised his eyebrows to himself, sourly, “That was smooth.” He said sarcastically.

Wanda felt sorry for his friend, seeing the way the other three had handled the situation.

“They just don’t wanna… trigger you, or whatever.” She tried to ease the awkwardness while standing up from her seat.

She plopped down on the couch next to him, rested her head on his shoulder and hugged her legs to her body. She was snugging close to him, almost like trying to fill the void Sam had just left, since she noticed how Bucky had grown accustomed to physical comfort.

“Well, I’m fine.” Bucky replied dryly and with a clear hint of annoyance, “I can deal with it.”

“I know that.” At the lack of reaction, Maximoff lifted her head and frowned up at the man, “Hey. I know that. And I’m sure they… sort of know that, too.”

That uncertainty caused Bucky to snort, for not even the person supposed to be comforting him believed that to be true.

“Yeah, well. They already think I’m a ticking time bomb, right?”

As much as Wanda wished to speak the truth, she also didn’t know the answer for sure. Maybe they did expect Bucky to crumble at any moment. Maybe Rhodey or Steve or Tony or even Natasha didn’t see how resilient the man had been, and therefore, were just waiting for him to crack under pressure. She couldn’t know.

“I don’t think Sam believes that.” She said honestly, for that’s really all she had, “I think he trusts your mind as much as I do, which is a lot.”

But Bucky didn’t seem convinced. Can’t convince someone of something you’re not sure about yourself. So she offered everything she could and held his hand in hers.

“What do we say?” she asked for him to recite the comfort words they had set themselves.

Bucky nodded, agreeing to recite them, because agreeing to verse it meant he believed the words at that exact moment.

“We are not their weapon.” He spoke in that tone which one uses when narrating a memorized passage, “They did not create us.”

“That’s right.”

While Bucky digested the saying, assuredly trusting the meaning of it, Wanda took a big breath. It was never a good time when they had to resort to the mantra, and remembering their gloomy past never brought a smile to their faces. They continued watching TV, pretending to not be thinking about whatever the other heroes were discussing.

A full day passed, and Sam still hadn’t received a single opinion nor approach from his soulmate. He assumed he had to ask about the tense subject himself, but the timing was never right, because for the past twenty-four hours, Bucky hadn’t spent more than five minutes with him. Deep in the most concealed parts of his mind, where he was sometimes selfish, Sam felt a little offended. He understood, however, the logical reason behind Bucky’s reservations.

That didn’t mean he didn’t think he should end the secrecy. So Wilson walked inside Bucky’s room, seeing the door wide open, and heard the noise of a human coming from the bathroom. He found Bucky brushing his teeth, and he leaned on the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Hey.” He spoke rather gently, “Are you avoiding me?"

"I'm brushing my teeth.” Barnes answered like it was nothing, although it was muffled by the toothpaste; he spat the foamy liquid on the sink before talking again, “Didn't think you'd be so clingy."

"I'm serious." Sam lowered his tone.

That caused Bucky to turn serious as well. He rinsed his mouth with water, then cleaned his face with the questionably fresh towel that was laying around.

"Of course I'm not.” He was genuine this time, but he still walked to his room, which made Sam think that he definitely was being avoided before, “What's wrong?"

"They moved the operation.” Sam followed behind, “We gotta head down tomorrow."

"Okay."

"You got nothing to say?” Wilson insisted, earning a simple shrug from his partner, “Buck, come on. I'm just worried, 's all. I don't think you should come."

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I?” Bucky sat on an armchair to put on his shoes.

For all Sam knew, he had caught Bucky during his morning routine, but through his currently paranoid brain, it seemed like the soldier had chosen to do all that stuff to keep himself busy and not having to engage in a heavy heart-to-heart. And Sam simply wished to look Bucky in the eye and get the truth out of him, but he realized that was a little egoist.

By the time Wilson was done with his careful thinking, Bucky had both shoes on and was standing to fulfill another task.

"Because." Sam started while Bucky walked past him; he sighed, "Just be honest. If you don't wanna join, no one will blame you."

"Yeah, you will."

The easiness which Bucky spat that out with made Sam frown. Although Bucky looked for something inside his closet, Sam walked closer and held his arm tenderly as a way of asking him to turn around.

"No, we won't." Sam lowered his head, believing the accusation to be as far off as possible.

"You said it yourself, Sam.” Bucky tilted his head, “You think I'm a lazy-ass for not doing shit all day and never showing up to meetings."

The words were harsh. But they weren’t one hundred percent false. Sam took a step back, his head falling down as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He remembered all the times he’d call Bucky those exact things as a joke, before they knew about the bond. Back when their way of interacting consisted of mean teasing and fake disqualifications.

"I'm sorry.” He let out along with a big puff of air, “I never said that for real, though-"

"But you did.” Barnes interrupted him, “ ’Cause it's true."

"No, it's not.” Sam rushed to put both hands on Bucky’s arms, the softest way possible, yet in a desperate attempt to get through Bucky’s thick skull, “You can take all the time you need to get back into superhero gig."

"Back?”

There was a moment of silence, of absolute uncertainty from Sam’s part, before he decided to let go of Bucky’s hold. Clearly, there were many things on his soulmate’s mind that he didn’t know about. And sadly enough, there was no one to blame. It was just how things rolled out to be. Which was why Sam simply waited for Bucky to speak up.

Which he did, in an upset tone, “No, Sam, I… I've never been much of a hero to begin with. That’s you, you were one before the Avengers, saving lives in goddamn Afghanistan. Hell, saving depressed veteran's lives-"

"Watch it." Wilson had to remind him to still be respectful, even if Bucky’s frustration was being directed towards him.

Bucky came to his senses and stopped before taking a breath.

"My point is, I'm not you. I was a dumb kid enlisting to shoot some Nazis. Then I was some dumb kid following m'boy Steve to shoot some Nazis. Then I was whatever they made of me."

Wilson shook his head, "You're more than that. You're more than them."

"Maybe.” Bucky found himself saying something that contradicted his and Wanda’s mantra, and it shattered his own heart for a second, “Won't find that out unless I start facing them, instead of lying here watching TV all day."

Sam, once again, reached for his partner physically by placing his hands on Bucky’s shoulders, this time his grasp a little more invasive.

"So you wanna prove yourself, okay. Do it for you. Not for the team, not for Hydra. Not even for me."

"I have to.” Bucky insisted, raising his voice and drawing disappointed eyebrows on Wilson, “Sam, you're the good guy. I've never been that guy, if I could just...”

When he noticed how hyperventilated he had turned, Bucky cut himself off. Sam waited patiently as the man looked down and shut his eyes.

Bucky started whispering to himself, “We’re not their weapon. They did not create us.”

Sam couldn’t miss it.

“What’s that?” He asked cautiously.

When Bucky looked up at him, there was the tiniest bit of fear in his pupils. Now that he thought about it, the action of mumbling to himself, he thought, must have made Sam think he’s crazy. Plus, in Bucky’s mind, Sam already believed him to be a tad unstable, so he began regretting doing it in the first place.

But he kept it together and replied as nonchalant as he could, given the circumstances.

“Just something Wanda and I say. To, you know… remember.” He brushed it off.

Sam wasn’t having none of that minimizing crap. Inside that previously mentioned, recondite place in his brain where he sometimes was selfish, he desired to know Bucky’s every thought. Outside that brain section, he understood why that was not only impossible but also a foul wish, which is why he kept it locked there, in his selfish box; it still didn’t negate the fact that he hoped to understand Bucky as much as Bucky could make himself understood. Balancing all that, Sam didn’t push too far, but kept his tone flat and familiar.

“Remember what?”

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek for a second before loosening his tense shoulders and responding truthfully, “That we were people before they experimented on us.”

It made sense to Sam in a way that it didn’t; he got the message, but he couldn’t possibly understand how it felt to be neither Wanda nor Bucky. Sam had never been transformed and made into a weapon. His issues with the Army would never compare to being Hydra’s pet, or Strucker’s pet, and it made sense that they would bond over that simple, and at the same time very complex premise: No matter what they did to them or made them do, they were someone to begin with. They changed them, but they do not control this version of them. They are their own people.

Sam couldn’t conceal his sad grin, as he thought that the saying, the mutuality of it and the shared experience, was the nicest thing he’d heard, however it was also unbelievably sad that they needed one.

Bucky didn’t appreciate the pitiful look.

“This is what I mean, you… you think I’m so goddamn breakable.”

“I think you’re exactly the opposite.” Sam corrected him, “You’re the strongest man I’ve ever met. But you can also give yourself a break, you know that? Taking down a Hydra base might be too much.”

Barnes accepted the words, although he didn’t give up his initiative.

“I’ll never know if I don’t push myself.” He suddenly turned to Sam’s eyes as if they were some sort of haven, which, in some level they were, “ ‘sides, you’ll be there with me, right?”

“Yes.” Sam pushed the affirmation almost aggressively, not even waiting for Bucky to finish his thought, “Yes, of course.” He forced Bucky into a hug.

Being the tough love kind of guy, Bucky surrendered to the physical gesture and let his head fall on Sam’s shoulder.

#sambucky #sam wilson/bucky barnes #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #sambucky fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #sambucky fluff #soulmate au #sam/bucky #sam wilson x bucky barnes

59 notes · View notes

loganscalesaurawrites · 4 years

Text

9/1 Prompt for @tsshipmonth2020 ‘s Soulmate September stuff. I haven’t written a lot of Sanders Sides though [... Or fanfics in general that were more than oneshots/fallen projects. so expect roughness.

[I’ll be doing a mix of platonic soulmates and romantic soulmates as this goes on [If I write more], because I’m a big fan of the sides as a big poly web with Roman and Remus being the only two not actively dating because remro/m = no.]

This one’s the full web with remus and roman as platonic soulmates! Because start with your favorite thing.

[Remus is also probably a bit ooc, but I like the headcanon that he plays up his “Depravity” as a side, and in human!Au he’s just someone with a morbid fascination with death or biology that leaves most people unnerved/is prone to blurting out what he’s thinking without really caring about other people’s comfort until he’s told off.

Soulmate Marks had been appearing for centuries at this point with very limited knowledge on how or why exactly they did, a short list of names appearing in either a dark crimson for your lovers, or a glittering emerald for those who you bond with as friends or even a found family in most cases- both darkening with an outline the moment you came in contact with your soulmates. These started forming generally early on in life as your soulmates were born and names chosen, or you were born with them if you were the youngest of your soulmates.- Though rarely were they ever more than a year or two apart, and with astonishing frequently, you started meeting your romantic soulmates a few days after your eighteenth birthday.

It was a rarity for someone to have more than one [maybe two] of both, but when they were born, the Alvarez twins had a stretch of four crimson names, and the moment their names were chosen emerald swirled on each other’s wrists.

But that was almost two decades ago, now it was eighteen years later, nearing the end of the school year a few days after the twins’ birthday and Roman, once again, was trying to figure out his soulmates.

Patton Kravitz: His last name had changed quite a lot early on, which his parents said probably meant he was bouncing around in adoption centers until he settled in a few years prior. The original name was long forgotten in his memory, but he was sure it was’t a masculine name to start- but that was fine with them both, whatever pronouns- [Roman had a hard time switching to they in his head, but was working on it![- their soulmate had they knew to respect.

Logan Sanders: A simple, regular name. [Remus even jolted up about three times in the past week hearing either of the two seperate, but had to be reminded their birthday hadn’t come up yet, it was unlikely.], unlike the

Virgil: No last name, at least not one in english, Roman no matter how hard he tried to learn japanese for the sake of this soulmate was just unable to figure out how to read the kanji [Though Remus could, and it infuriated him to no end when he never said how to read it].

Janus : No last name again, though he had disappeared for a week, before coming back in the same exact place [Remus was the most panicked about this, his more... grim worries flashing through his head before Roman calmed him down, talking about how Patton’s name flickered a few times while his name was in flux, so maybe Janus was similar to patton, just took longer.

Roman quietly stared at the names on his wrist, again pencil tapping rapidly on his desk, a few rapid bounces of his leg came before the teacher called on him, jolting him out of his reviere and rushing to catch back up on which question they were on.

His brother behind him softly snorted, tapping a rapid series of things and Roman quickly flicked forward and read the line out with a narrowed from his teacher, but the bell rung right after and he quickly rushed to get his things and dart before he could get told off for daydreaming again.

Right behind him Remus playfully chided his brother with a low tsk. “C’mon, Ro, I thought we said you only get one longing lovestruck look at your names a day, that’s the third time I caught you thinking about them and how much you-”

Roman gently elbowed the other as he snickered, “Oh please, you’re the one who daydreams about the bedroom, I’m pure and chaste and romantic.”

“Say that to your picture of Aladdin-”

“He is a god among mortals and you will shut your face before I do-”

Remus’s cackle was heard through the hallway, the two seniors bickering on their way to the car as Roman slid into the passenger’s side, flapping his hands about in excitement as Remus let him jabber on, driving their way to a nearby coffee shop during their lunchbreak. He quickly passed by their usual one, Remus deciding to try different places nearby to hopefully get his brother to shut up about them for one second.

“What absurd thing’re you going to ask them to put on your cup this time?” Roman slid out staring Remus down, ticking his latest creations. “Last name sucker, first name Dick? Boo T Chaser?”

Remus shrugged, grinning wider than Roman had seen, “Just Remus!”

There was a second, Roman waiting for the beat to drop before he blinked, frowning. “... Remus?”

“Yeah, I mean you’re obsessed with our soulmates, might as well make it easier, besides seeing the two of us together and our last names on the cups should abso fucking lutely make these people notice. You think one of our soulmates’d be willing to bang me right after we meet or should I buy them dinner fi-”

Roman threw his hands up in the air, slamming them down to his sides with a snort that betrayed his annoyance. “Your pansexual ass needs to chill.”

“And your Ace ass is the only person I can talk to about this who won’t squirm in discomfort and would dropkick me. Thank god you’re not repulsed otherwise I have no idea how we’re soulmates if you can’t reign me in, princey.” Remus stuck his tongue out, ducking a grabbing hand at the childish nickname before walking in.

The shop itself wasn’t all too unique, a simple cafe with a chalkboard menu above the counter, currently being updated by a guy in a patchwork purple hoodie doodling all sorts of plants along the frame of the board. One of the baristas- dressed complete in suspenders and the hipster aesthetic from the looks of it [who else’d wear a necktie to a casual cafe]- pratling to a customer with a cardigan around his shoulders. Remus met the light chill of the AC with a happy sigh, quickly rushing to stand behind a guy with multicolored skin [Vitiligo- Roman remembered reading about it once] and he jolted when Remus had already moved to the register.

shit.

“Hi I want your darkest roast you’ve got, black, and sunshine here’s gonna need more cream and sugar than coffee. If it’s not whiter than a sheet of paper he won’t drink it.”

“Asshole.” Roman elbowed Remus, turning to the barista. “I’d like just a latte, if you don’t mind. And I’ll pay extra for it too, but if anyone working can do that fancy latte art stuff I’d appreciate it?”

“Very well.” The barista’s tone was an odd mix of clipped formality, and warm gentleness that immediately made Roman melt, and the Barista pulled out two cups real quick, grabbing papers. “Names? And please-” he glared at Remus. “This time, do not make me call out “Luke Kinfor Cawk”

Roman ignored the soft snort from the arist above them, hearing him grumble “Is that any way to treat a customer?”

He glanced up, glaring at the smirking artist- Remus gawking at his light makeup for a second and mumbling something about needing tips from the stylish asian indivudal- “I’ve been working here for a week, I’ll do better about it.”

“God I’m joking Lo, take a hint. Though you’re leagues above where you were when we met. Sorry about that.” The hoodie wearer hopped down, dusting his shirt and picking up a pen himself. “Welcome to the Roast, since he forgot to welcome you. I can do latte art, so any requests?”

“Yeah, can I kiss you-” Roman’s hand slapped over Remus’s mouth- surprised at the safe for work flirt and he stumbled out.

“My apologies, my brother here’s... Eccentric, I apologize if he’s ever gone too far.”

The barista shrugged- and Roman noticed neither of the employees had a nametag on. Odd. “The first time yes, but I just hold it against him since we’ve had a pretty decent rapport.”

“How you can stomach all that biology I don’t know. You two start prattling off those facts in the corner like it’s a science course.” The other two customers nearby snorted, trying to hide their eavesdropping as they themselves chatted, and the artist quickly pulled the labels off. “Names?”

“Roman and Remus Alvarez-”

All at once, four different things fell over. The pencil in the artist’s hand, the mug the barista was cleaning, the coffee that the cardigan clad guy was sipping from... and the 4th individual in his entirety, who somehow litterally fell over at the name spontaneously as though it shocked him.

The twins stared at one another for about half a second, seeing things processing on the other four, before Roman grinned, hands moving up and showing the lines of red names on his wrist.

“Virgil, Logan, Patton and Janus I presume?” Artist, Barista, Cardigan, and the one currently still on the floor in shock nodded in that order, and Remus cackled like mad.

“Ok now that it’s a LOT more kosher, Specs or Chalkboy, can I kiss you now” Remus helped Janus up from the floor, dusting his shirt off while pouting at the workers and Patton giggled.

“I get the feeling we’re gonna be skipping the rest of school today, Remus.” [Don’t do that kiddo!][Please do] “There’s a lot of stuff to talk about.”

#sanders sides #soulmate september #soulmate AU

6 notes · View notes

luna--reading · 4 years

Text

[PICK A CARD] How does he/she feels about me in this connection?

Hello lovelies~ ♡

This is a pick a card reading for How does He/She feels about me in this connection? This reading is for people who might be involved with someone (be it in a relationship or a situationship), or are interested in someone, or simply just someone on your mind. Energies can be vice versa, but typically, the cards will tend to resonate with your own energies.

Do take what resonates because this is after all a general reading so it can’t possibly resonate with everyone. If you’d like a more personalised reading, do DM me as I’m currently doing free reading (as I’m still in the process of learning).

So take a few minutes to meditate on these 5 piles:

I surrender to my higher power, knowing that it takes care of me.

I am prosperous in all areas of my life.

My life has purpose and meaning.

I see myself as a success.

I am creating my life anew.

Once you’re ready, just scroll below to find the reading that you have chosen!

You can always leave a comment or simply like the post if it resonates with you, thank you so much~ ♡♡♡

Pile 1:

The Lovers is represented as how you feel about your partner, in which, you see them as this soulmate – the connection is very strong between the both of you. On the other hand, your partner’s feelings towards you is represented by The Wheel of Fortune. I see that they feel very lucky to know you and that they also know that this is a connection that I meant to be. So I see this as a very strong soulmate connection, to be honest.

The Nine of Wands is representing how you feel about yourself in this relationship. Now, I see you as someone who can get very guarded about your own feelings. Further clarified by The Sun, you have this outburst of energy that seems to be kept within yourself. You might be afraid of showing your true self to your partner and hence, you tend to keep certain feelings to yourself. On the other hand, King of Cups represents how your partner feels about themselves in this relationship. Your partner sees themselves as someone who is very emotional stable and has a lot of love to give you.

Now, the Seven of Pentacles is here as your outcome which goes to show that at the end of the day, effort is what it takes to keep this relationship going. And really, I see both of you making the effort in this relationship and reaping what you sow at the end of the day. Page of Swords is here as your advice which asks you to continue to be curious and learn more about each other. It also encourages you to open up and let your partner learn more about you.

With your oracle cards, Spiritual Teacher and Connect with Nature, I see that you guys do connect with each other on a spiritual level and maybe, both of you can have some dates out in the nature to further boost this relationship.

Pile 2:

Page of Cups is representing how you feel towards your partner in this relationship – in which you feel that you have this small cup of love to give. It’s a very pure and innocent kind of love and it might come off as a little immature (maybe you don’t know this person well enough yet) but you are presented as someone who wants to give this love to your partner. On the other hand, The Moon represents how your partner feels towards you in this relationship. Now, before I move on, I got to say, I further clarify The Moon and The Sun came out. So, I see this as a new connection. Your partner sees you as someone who is very new, so like I said maybe both of you don’t know each other well enough. There are many things that are being hidden/unsaid. The Sun talks about how your partner sees you in a positive light but as the card shows a young boy, I see that this connection can be seen as relatively new and just have yet to develop.

You see yourself as the Six of Cups in this connection. Six of Cups talks about reminiscing the past and simply just being in a very youthful energy. You see yourself as someone who can share your love as much as possible, and you simply want to share your love with this significant person that you are thinking of. Further clarified by the Two of Cups (reversed) as well as Queen of Wands, I see you as someone who is very playful and loves to joke around. Queen of Wands is a queen that does what she wants in a very playful energy and this might bring about slight imbalance as remember, relationships aren’t all about fun. It might bring about a very immature image about you. As after all, your partner sees themselves as the Knight of Pentacles in this relationship. Knight of Pentacles is a very stable and grounded energy. They are slow moving but that’s only because they think a lot about their own actions and whether or not, they are capable of reaching their goal. However, with this Knight of Pentacles, I see that they are slowly moving forward towards you, trying to make that offer to you.

Because The Star is in your outcome! The Star represents hopes and wishes coming true but at the same time, it also reminds you to keep a balance in your life. The Star is also seen as a healing energy and that I feel it is reminding you to stay optimistic about your love life and simply keep a playful energy (but not too much) with the Queen of Wands as your advice.

Your oracle cards include Summer; Practice, Practice, Practice and Good-Bye to the Old, Hello to the New. I see that this new year, a new decade is the great time for you to let go of the past. At the same time, summer is probably a significant timing for you. Either, you know this person in Summer or I see that possibly in this coming Summer, your relationship might be taken to a higher level or you might further improve on your relationship with this person that is on your mind.

Pile 3:

Your feelings towards your partner is being represented by the Two of Swords. You are indecisive about certain decision or you are actually in fact fearful about making certain decision. This can be further clarified by the Ten of Swords as to how you see yourself in this relationship. You are afraid of being betrayed again because you were deeply hurt by love in the past, is what I see with The Lovers (reversed). So you are actually quite fearful of making certain decision when it comes to this connection.

Your partner feelings towards you is represented by The Tower. The Tower talks about a journey that is meant to happen, a “crumbling” that is meant to take place because the foundation is weak. So, I see that you might have a “something” going on with this person but now, you pulled back out of fear and your partner sees this as a test. With the Knight of Swords (it could mean either you or your partner is an air sign – Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) clarifying The Tower, I see that he is wanting to make that move, he wants to talk and communicate with you. He wants clarity on this connection. Further clarified by the Six of Pentacles, he wants to bring back balance into this relationship. Your partner sees themselves as Justice in this connection, in which it reminds me on how he wants to find back justice for you. Maybe your partner knows of the pain and heartache you went through and know that you are feeling injustice. But it also means that your partner sees themselves as someone who is very balanced and can help to bring balance back into your life. Especially clarified with the Ace of Wands, he wants to start on a new journey with you.

Now, the outcome is being presented by the Ace of Cups so I see both of you starting on this new relationship. With the Page of Wands, as your advice, it is telling you (and possibly your partner) to take things slow. Both of you can start a journey, but takes things slowly, and things will get better.

Your oracle cards include Patience, Please and Everything’s Okay. This tells me that you don’t have to make that decision so quickly, I see your partner willing to wait for you so have patience in yourself as well. And trust that, everything is okay, things are working out fine.

Pile 4:

Before I start on this reading, let me just tell you that as I was shuffling through the cards, the Five of Pentacles kept jumping out. And within this reading, there are already 3 “Fives” which signifies change.

So let’s start! Five of Swords represents how you feel about your partner in which it is further clarified by the Four of Wands and The Hanged Man (reversed), so it seems that you are feeling very conflicted towards your partner. It could be due to the fact that you might feel that this was the one for you and that you might have unconditionally love your partner but changes had happened that let to this conflict within you. On the other hand, Three of Cups represents how your partner feels towards you and it is further clarified by Death. Now, I have this strong feeling that we are talking about an ex that is coming back into your life, or simply an ex that you can’t let go of. Three of Cups might be seen as a third-party situation (in which it ended the relationship, with Death) for some of you. For others, that don’t have an ex, it could mean that your partner now sees you as someone who is more than a friend and this could come after some ending. So, maybe your partner has recently just had a break-up and now sees your good, which could have led to your inner conflict as you don’t know if he’s only using you as a rebound or simply likes you for who you are.

You see yourself as the Five of Wands in this relationship, someone who is willing to fight for what they want. But at the same time, it also shows how guarded and defensive you are towards this person, or this relationship. It is further clarified by the Two of Pentacles and Wheel of the Year. This shows that you are currently very guarded because you simply have other things to juggle with. I see you as being busy with other aspects of your life and simply not having the energy or time and effort to put yourself through this “situationship” that you were possibly going through previously. Your partner sees themselves as the Page of Swords in this relationship, where they are being inquisitive and keeping a lookout for your news. They are keeping an eye on you, learning more things about you. This is further clarified by The Moon, in which they know that there are things that are being hidden from them and hence they want to make clear of these things.

The outcome is being represented by the Five of Cups. As of now, I don’t see any improvements in this relationship, someone might give up on someone or simply just not be involved in this relationship. I see hopelessness in the waiting (as seen by the Three of Wands) of not knowing how to carry on. With the King of Wands, I see it as someone being too stubborn in correcting their ways which could result in this Five of Cups energy.

Your advice is The Devil which encourages you to let go of certain unhealthy obsessions or thoughts. Or simply just cleansing yourself of negative energy. I see that you understand that there are certain instability (with The High Priest and Ten of Pentacles, both in reversed) and that you learn that only as you let go of certain negativity comes with the stability that you want.

Your oracle cards include Get Some Exercise, Autumn and Express Your Individuality. I see that it is time for you to work on yourself and understand what you want for yourself. Only when you start loving yourself can you then start loving others. Autumn might be a significant time period for you, or it could also simply represent “fall” which reminds me of letting go.

Pile 5:

You see your partner as Two of Wands, who is someone that is successful in whatever he does. He is someone who can gain success because he has the world in his hands. On the other hand, your partner sees you as Two of Swords, in which he might be feeling indecisive towards you. Now, this could be due to a past relationship (clarified by The Lovers, reversed) and that with you, he sees this as a new connection (with the Ace of Swords).

You see yourself as The Fool in this relationship, which meant that you might be taking a leap of faith when it comes to this person. This person might be someone out of your league or simply someone that is unlike your usual type and hence you are taking a leap of faith. But it could also mean that this is a rather new energy and hence, you aren’t quite sure of what to do. Your partner sees themselves as the Ten of Cups in this connection which means that they are feeling very emotionally fulfilled. With the Knight of Cups (reversed), I see them as being very emotional fulfilled in their current relationship status (more of being single). They are caring for themselves more and learning more of self-care and self-love which makes them feel very emotionally stable.

Your outcome is The Chariot which shows that you will eventually move in the right direction. The Chariot talks about how you might feel like you have a lot of paths to take, but just trust that whichever direction you are moving towards to, it will eventually lead you to where you belong. Furthermore, as your advice, the Eight of Pentacles urged you to continue making that effort and you will eventually end up to where you are supposed to be.

Your oracle cards include Spring and Ask For What You Want. Spring might be a significant timing for you and this person and trust that as long as you voice out what you want, the Universe will be here to help you get what you want.

#tarotreading #pickacard #pick a card #tarot #freetarotreading #free tarot

67 notes · View notes