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heizours · 1 year

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YOUR FIRST

summary. he overhears a conversation about who was your first favourite character in the game, and he grows jealous about it

tags. gn! reader, grammatical mistakes may occur

cw. none as far as i have check

feat. scaramouche, thoma, childe, xiao, dottore

< back to event m.list

INTRO.

"Who was my first favourite character during the early days I was playing it?" You repeated the same question that your friend was asking you.

"Precisely! C'mon, I'm sure there is someone who had really caught your attention the moment they entered a quest you were playing or something like that."

They responded back, as they waited eagerly yet patiently for you to tell them, while you were busy thinking and reflecting back on who it was.

Little do you know, that they are not only one who's itching to know your big revelation.

If the doors have eyes, then the walls or perhaps the screens have ears as well.

"Well, I'd say that the first character who caught my attention and became my favourite in a short span of time is-"

SCARAMOUCHE.

"-Childe!

Scaramouche acts like he is not deeply affected by it and acts like it wasn't a big deal to him, but the expressions that were painted on his face betrayed the best of him.

Why are you smiling when Childe's the topic?

What did he do to make you joyous like this?

But... if he is the first character you like, is it now a liked?

There is this some sort of uneasy feeling that continues to brew and swirl inside of him the very moment your face had brighten up at the mention of the harbinger's name, and he has no idea how to stop it and why was he feeling it in the first place.

Is this another emotion that a heart can experience and learn, from time to time? What was it called again?

Ah yes, jealousy.

Scaramouche suddenly scoffs at the realization, finding it hard to believe that he would feel the bitterness of what enviousness is like sooner than he had anticipated, and the primary cause that triggered it was none other than that side character.

Childe? Cool and Captivating? Please, you haven't even seen how he could be a million times better than him.

"You mean to tell me that I'm simply getting worked up all for this? Why should I be bothered over it, when I could be a whole lot better than him? Heh"

THOMA.

-Itto!

Thoma rarely taste the medicine of jealousy but seeing that look on your face when you rambled on about the oni, somehow snapped him into his senses. He felt the need to grab your attention from the screen to tell you that he is here too, and maybe - just maybe you could switch your favours around.

I'm not jealous...being one is simply irrational

Maybe — I am a little bit jealous

Alright, I am jealous...

While he would be in denial at first with the jealousy he is dealing with, he would still come to the generalization that he is indeed jealous, and if he will have to cope up with it, he would put back on his smiley facade, only this time something about his smile is a little unpleasing, that even Itto himself will not dare to breathe around him.

But, instead of continuing to bottle up his jealousy and act petty like the others, he would understand why you favour the oni and would put that first before his feelings.

Don't be fooled though, compliment him too while you're at it!

“Oh...I didn’t know they like him. It sounds very surprising coming from them, but who am I to judge? Well then, has anyone seen Itto? I bet he will be delighted to hear the news!”

CHILDE.

“-Thoma!

Childe laughs it off - Yes, it’s the laugh that you are thinking right now where he is this close from committing another arson. He is definitely not a second away from taking a trip to Inazuma and is on the go to plan a competition with the housekeeper, because he’s too cool to even to something like that.

I see, another challenger perhaps?

Hmph, what’s the point of challenging him if I know that I am the strongest?

Clear skies Ajax, clear skies

At this point, it is quite clear that he is turning into the embodiment of jealousy due to the amount of assurance that he is telling to himself, not because he is threatened by Thoma but because he is threatened that your favouritism about him will be the reason for his downfall.

He is threatened by the fact that you could easily evict him from your main team and replace him with someone else from another region who is just newly released and is almost a carbon copy as him, if not for the differences of their physical appearances.

It is indeed true that jealousy is a disease, that not even Ajax himself could flee from it.

“Thoma? I have heard of that name, but I also heard that I can excel ten times better at the things he could do. No- I’m not showing off, I am simply describing that I am a way better option than him, that’s it.”

XIAO.

“-Scaramouche!

Xiao stays the same as he is, or - that’s what he thinks. Truth to be told, he doesn’t even realize that he is jealous, but as they say - actions speaks louder than words, and the way he is acting right now shows how he is envied by this favouritism topic.

Did I expect too much?

I don’t like this feeling...

Is this what those mortals call as jealousy?

It takes a while for him to accept that he is jealous, but after that whole feeling finally sinks in, well let’s say he is displeased by this realization because by every second, that feeling continues to sink deeper and deeper as if it’s attempting to land in the deepest depth of the ocean.

But, like Thoma, he is another who tries to get over with it and respects why you favour that character the most. Maybe it’s because you see them in a different light that others can’t, and he understands that.

Everyone has favourites, and he can’t blame you for that because even him has one which is you but he would rather not say it.

"Hm, while I do not fawn over him, I suppose I understand why you like him in the first place. Whatever makes you happy, is simply enough for me to know why."

DOTTORE.

- Alhaitam!

Dottore remains indifferent or so what he assures to himself, because if anyone where to see right through him, displeased is not even used enough to describe how disturb he is by that revelation.

The Akademiya scribe is what they fawn over the most, hm?

How interesting....

Though, irritating would be the right word for it

His pride is wounded, and what makes it even more worse for him is he is a man of intelligence. So naturally, he is intimidated and threatened that the scribe who is also intelligent but not as him, could be the reason why he can’t turn the favour of you to him.

To get rid of the jealousy that he is feeling, he will dedicate most of his time (like he isn’t in the first place) inside his lab, doing things where only he knows what it is. He is one of the upper rank harbingers and dictated as the doctor for a reason, and the only way he could could get off the steam he is feeling, is to be busy.

While he is ordering around his clones and agents at the same time, any step or news that he gets from them and will be deemed as a failure, will have to face some serious issues from him, especially that Dottore is not in the mood to be in a dilly dally manner.

“Anything I need? Perhaps you can give me a little information about the scribe - take it or leave it. Either way, leaving it is not even an option in the first place.”

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scientia-rex · 10 months

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I also spend a lot of time trying to convince people to prevent problems, because prevention still works better than cures. Don't fucking smoke! I would instantly become the best doctor who ever lived if I could just convince all my patients to quit smoking. Avoid alcohol! Don't do meth! Don't do fentanyl! Things that are poisons will poison you in ways you understand, in the short term, but also ways you can't really understand until you've watched dozens of people die from it thirty years later, struggling to breathe from their COPD or weak and nauseated beyond bearing from their end-stage liver disease. I watched a man take 3 weeks in the ICU to die from what meth did to his heart. Your heart isn't meant to beat 145 times a minute for weeks on end. Your liver isn't meant to metabolize 5 shots of gin a day. You aren't going to be able to use denial and willpower to repair the damage your own habits did.

I drink a lot less now than I did before I went into medicine. Lot of different reasons, including that I'm older and more settled. But I can't look at it the same way I used to; I can't brush off as a "fun quirk" what I know is alcohol use on a level that risks withdrawal seizures if they were to suddenly stop, like some of my family members do, nervously asking me about their loved one's drinking when we're alone because beneath the jokes they know it's a problem.

If you're having more than one, maybe two drinks a day on average, over a long period of time, you are damaging your body in ways you don't understand. You're setting up a permanent heightened inflammatory state. Your heart cells don't like alcohol; Google "alcohol-induced cardiomyopathy." Your esophagus and stomach respond to incessant bathing in poison by first developing wounds and then cancer. Your liver, of course, doesn't like it. Your liver not only converts poisons to harmless substances you can excrete, it also makes your platelets, so your blood can clot. It makes albumin, a protein that's essentially for keeping water in your blood vessels and not letting it leach into your tissues. So people who are dying of liver failure are in pain and weak and tired and sad the whole fucking time! And the only solution, a liver transplant, will come with a lifetime of medication and specialist check-ups and the knowledge that if you fuck up and kill this liver, too, no one is going to be eager to give you another try.

I don't guilt-trip my alcoholic patients with liver disease. I don't guilt-trip my smokers with COPD. They chose to cope with substances for reasons, even if I disagree with their reasons, even if those reasons are opaque to me. They will suffer the natural consequences of those actions whether I guilt-trip them or not. I want them to continue to see me, I want them to be honest with me. Other people will lay enough guilt on them. And nothing I can say or do would ever compare to the physical and mental suffering that goes with those diseases.

But if you can prevent these diseases in yourself, prevent them. Quit smoking. Do it now. Your lungs are going to look better starting almost immediately, with positive changes continuing for many years. Drink less alcohol. Sure, it's fun, sure, it's a longstanding human tradition, but it is also unfortunately a straight up poison and your body knows that no matter how persuasively you argue about the obvious failure of Prohibition. You can't argue with a cell. You can't convince your kidneys that high blood pressure shouldn't damage them. They are a system; they do what they do; they existed long before prefrontal cortex existed to justify what we want to do but know to be harmful.

#the attending dr. kristophine

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thehusbandoden · 9 months

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You Flinch During an Argument -Kirishima Eijiro

A/n: this took me way too long, so sorry for the wait 🥺🥺

Holy crap this is long.. hope you enjoy this madness <33

General info:

Genre: angst to fluff/comfort // WC: 2,516

Warnings!: Arguing, one sided argument, mean reader, insecurity, self hate, slight self harm (grabbing at hair), mention of bullies, crying, flinching, and a lot of apologizing. Please let me know if I miss any! <3

(it took forever to find this specific gif 💔)

"Y/n- I said that I was sorrry!"

"And I said I don't care anymore!"

"Y/n, please! You're being unreasonable!"

"I'm being unreasonable?! I HAVE ASKED YOU FOR ALMOST THREE MONTHS - YOU ARE SUCH A-"

"Y/n, calm down, you don’t want to say something you'll regret."

"You suck. You're a pig headed, selfish, work obsessed, slobby, jerk."

Kirishima was silent as you insulted him, part of him feeling like he deserved it all.

"Okay, y/n, I understand that I screwed up. And I know that I can't make it all better overnight, but please. You can not drive right now."

"And why not? It's not like I'm under any influence."

"Y/n, it's dark and rainy. That, plus your anger- is a sure way to kill both of us. I can not live without you, Pebble."

"Do not call me that." You seethe, glaring up at your redheaded husband.

Heart aching, Kirishima desperately thought of a way to keep you here with him, not knowing how he would cope if he lost you due to some stupid argument about cleaning.

"J-just stay here tonight. You can sleep in our bed, and I'll sleep downstairs. I won't talk to you, and if you still want to go in the morning, I won't stop you. If you're still angry, Ochako can come pick you up."

Considering the idea, you huff as you cross your arms, glaring at Kiri.

"Fine.. but I have a few conditions. On top of not talking to me, you will not touch, nor look at me. Deal?"

"If you hand me your keys, deal."

"Is that really necessary?"

"Or at least put them somewhere visible."

"Fine, deal."

"Deal." Kiri agreed, shaking your outstretched hand.

After you walked in Kiri waited a minute or so before following pursuit, closing and locking the front door with a relieved sigh- simply happy that you agreed on staying here for tonight.

After picking up the living room and washing the dishes, Kirishima deemed it okay to go upstairs to swiftly get ready for bed.

As Eijiro thought about your side of the argument his heart started weighing him down with guilt.

He truly didn't mean to be such a jerk. He didn't think about how overworked and exhausted you were.

In his head, he was going above and beyond picking up after himself, doing the dishes every other day, taking out the trash, folding both his clothes and the fitted sheets, and cooking breakfast almost every morning. He didn't think about the other household chores, how much work caring for the house took, nor how long and hard you worked on top of the house.

You worked shorter hours then he did, that's true, but you still worked hard and desperately tried to be patient with him. For over a month you've been gently asking him to help out more or do this and that for you.

When you asked him to do a specific thing he truly did try his best to get it done as soon as possible. Pausing his game to take out the trash, setting reminders to switch the laundry on his days off, scrubbing pots and pans late at night, and watering the plants most every morning before work.

But he didn't understand when you asked him to 'do more', he thought that he was doing a lot more than average, totally forgetting to consider that you work too and he's not the sole provider.

You had gotten really annoyed with how much you did in the house and how little he did in comparison, and confronted him once again after he got home from work.

He was quite confused and defended himself, not really seeing your side of things. It took ten minutes of arguing back and forth to actually understand your side of things, realizing that due to you both providing you both needed to tend to the house.

Guilt consumed him as he attempted to apologize again and again yet you wouldn't let him talk. After twenty minutes of this one sidedness you got angry and stormed out, telling him that you were going to Ochako's house.

Even though Kiri felt extremely guilty, he was mostly relieved that you didn't leave in these conditions, knowing that he wouldn't be able to function if he lost you for good.

Kiri was snapped out of his thoughts due to the tingling feelings of his hands going numb due to the cold water pouring onto them.

Sighing, Kiri turned off the water before sneakily grabbing a spare blanket, his pillow, and a pair of pajama bottoms from your shared bedroom, refusing to look at you as he hurried out of the dark room.

After changing and settling on the couch Kiri simply stared at the ceiling, going over your side of things and realising how much he screwed up and what he could do to change and start to make it up to you.

You jolted awake as a large crashing sound came from downstairs, hurrying out of bed, you readied your quirk in case of a villain.

"Ei..? Is that you?" You call, poking your head out into the kitchen.

"Yeah- sorry for waking you up."

"It's okay.. but what happene-" you froze as you saw Kirishima on the floor, shattered dishware surrounding him.

"Eijiro what the heck!" You exclaim, reaching out your arm to try and help the pro hero.

"I- I was trying to clean.. I'm sorry.."

At the word 'clean' memories of last night flooded your mind, causing you to drop your hand to your side, irritation flooding your senses.

"Oh, so now you're trying to make three months of neglectness and excuses better in one night?"

"N-no! Not at all! I just wanted to start helping out more!"

"It's three months too late for that Eijiro."

"You're being unreasonable-"

"No! What's unreasonable is you and your selfish laziness!"

"I'm trying! We're both new to living together and I didn't understand before!"

"Whatever. Just get up and go. I'll have to clean up and stop by the store before work."

"What- no! I'll clean it up!" Kiri exclaimed, jumping up from the ground, hardening his skin so he wouldn't get cut.

Shards of glass bounced off of Kiri's hardened skin, flying everywhere. Luckily, you were a pro hero, and had the amazing reflexes that came from that line of work. You dived down, avoiding the injury you would've received.

"Y-y/n! Are you okay?!" Kirishima exclaimed, rushing to your side.

Seeing the sudden movement you flinched, body still under alert.

After realizing what happened your heart dropped.

Oh no.

Kirishima was a gentle soul. He cared for you deeply and was always looking for ways to make your life easier and more enjoyable. There is no way he would take this lightly. He would definitely paint a wor-

You were snapped out of your thought process at the sound of a door closing. Panicking, you realized that Kirishima was xgonex.

"Ei!?" You call, hurrying to check for him in the living room, quickly realising that he left. Panicking, you hurry to slip on some slippers before making your way out the door, rushing to Kirishima's truck before he could pull out.

"Ei wait!" You exclaim, putting one hand on the handle of the truck and the other on his window. After looking down at you, he bit his lip before slightly opening the window so he could hear you.

"Go back in the house Pebble.." Kiri whispered, causing your heart to ache in dismay.

"Eijiro- what's wrong? I wasn't scared of you it was a reaction from the-"

"I don't care y/n. You flinched because of me- I- I need some time."

You could feel tears stinging your eyes as you stepped back, biting your lip as you watched Kirishima put the truck in reverse and slowly back out of the driveway, face heavy with hurt.

As soon as the red truck disappeared from sight you broke, running into the house before falling onto the couch, sobbing into a pillow.

The angered words you spat at your sweet, loving Eijiro flashed through your mind as you cried, guilt weighing you down as you remembered Kiri's heart broken face. Your mind started playing against you, shouting at you for your selfish, idiotic words and how you hurt the one person you cared most about.

'He didn't do anything!'

'You stupid little- he was doing his best! He apologized! And yet you treated him so- so horribly due to a few mistakes!'

'He really doesn't derseve you. He deserves someone as patient and loving as he is.'

'He was so heartbroken! You idiot!'

'I bet he's going to find somone better then you. I would't blaim him either.'

Tears rolled down your face as you sat up to stare at a picture of Eijiro on your wedding day. His red eyes were sparkling as he grinned at the camera, feeling nothing but joy and such love for you.

You two met in elementary school. You saved him from some bullies yada yada and instantly became friends. He was in third grade, you were in second. Your grade difference meant that you didn't get to play much, and so you thought of him as one of your temporary friends. The kind that you met at a park, played once, and then forgot about one another the next day.

But he was.. special. There was something about how the older boy's eyes shone when he looked at you, or how strong he seemed even though he was in tears frequently. You quickly found out that he was special. Even compared to your best friend, Sakura Mei.

You admired him for many reasons. For trying to be so strong even though the bullies' mean words brought him to tears, for how kind he wa -giving up his hard earned treat to a little toddler who wanted it at pick-up, sharing his lunch with a kid that was too late to get his own, having shorter turns so the next kid would get it sooner, and helping his teacher whenever and however possible.

You two became best friends and played with each other after school, causing your parents to create a long lasting friendship as well. For years you thought of him as your best friend, but a crush started to form in middle school, causing you to get confused.

Even when Kiri started to get self conscious and have a lot of self doubt, he was always by your side. Scolding you for having any of those thoughts, no matter how small. And so in return you helped him. Helping with training, bringing him food and water, reassuring him when he needed it, and even holding him as he cried. You were the reason he was able to recover so quickly, and afterwards he got into UA highschool, and you followed pursuit the next year.

After eight months of high school he confessed, and that was it. After you graduated he was there to cheer you on the loudest, and seven months later he proposed. The day of your wedding was full of joy, laughter, tears, smiles, and love. A love that made your chest ache in happiness, causing you to smile a little wider, kiss him a little harder, and fall in love a little harder.

Thinking back about it now, your tears came faster as an aching cold spread through your chest, causing the tears to fall faster.

"Eijiro.." you whimper, hugging onto the shark pillow Eijiro insisted on getting for your newly bought home.

It was crazy expensive, but he told you not to worry about it, and that it was "for our future famly".

"Ei.. I'm so sorry!" You cry, grasping your hair in your hands, tugging lightly but knowing not to hurt yourself or Kiri would be upest and worried.

Pawing for your phone, you unlocked the device before calling the contact "Bakubeast".

"What do you need." Bakugo huffed, causing you to whimper softly, catching the hot head's attention.

"Woah woah- do not cry. Crappy hair would kill me."

"I- I- E- Eijiro-" you rasp, having difficulty breathing and getting your point across.

"Hey hey- y/n calm down." Bakugo panicked, his softer tone helpig you calm down.

He was a good friend of both you and Eijiro, so him being kind to you really did help.

"Y/n/n, breathe."

Gasping for air you try to control your breathing, taking one deep breathe after another.

"Atta girl. Keep on breathing for m- for Eijiro."

Calm washed over you as you exhaled, sighing shakily.

"T-thank you." You whisper, causing Bakugo to scoff.

"Yeah yeah- now why are ya crying? Do I need to kicks some a-"

"No. It's me, not him. I'm wondering, is Ei over there? H-he left and I'm worried about him."

"No he hasn't. When did he leave? You do know that I'm like twenty minutes away, right?"

"That's true.. it's only been around ten.."

"I'll call you if he pulls up. But if you don't mind me asking.. what happened?"

"I'm sure Ei will explain.. I really don't wanna talk about it right now.."

"Okay.. well hang in there and call me if you need."

"Yeah.. okay."

"Have a better night, talk to ya later."

"Mhm.. bye.."

~~Kiri's pov~~

Kirishima felt like screaming.

Even though he knew that you weren't scared of him and it was just a reaction from the glass but it still hurt.

After pulling into his best friend's drive way, Eijiro quickly made his way to the door and knocked, wanting the hot head's opinion and seeking comfort.

"What happened to you?" Bakugo scoffed, opening his door as an invitation to come in.

"Can we.. talk?"

"If you make things right between you and your Cry Baby afterwards- then yes."

~~Your pov~~

You sniffled as you clung to Kirishima's pillow, eyes dry and puffy.

It's been an hour since Bakugo texted him that Kirishima was at his place, and you've been waiting for him to return or at least an update.

Your heart ached and you wanted nothing more than to be in Eijiro's arms and forget all about this horrid arugment. What if he didn't want you anymore.. what if-

You jumped out of bed as soon as you heard the door open, sprinting down the stairs to meet your Eijiro.

"Baby!" You exclaim, jumping into Eijiro's arms. Wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, you attacked his shoulders, neck, cheeks, forehead, nose, and lips with kisses.

"I am so sorry! I- I said so many mean things to you and- and-"

"Woah woah Baby- calm down." Eijiro cooed, catching your lips in a kiss to distract you from your worries. "I know.. and I forgive you, so.. could you forgive me?"

"Yes! Yes- I am so sorry for-"

Catching your lips in another kiss, Kiri sat on the couch, holding you in his lap as he kissed you, stealing both his and your complete attention.

Reblogs help spread and support my work therefore they help me immensely but any support is appreciated<33

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Tips <3

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

Sorry again for how late this was.. I hope it wasn't too long :(

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leighsartworks216 · 8 months

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I'm All Yours

Astaron x gn!Tav/Reader

I wrote this to cope with the fact my roommate has people over, all getting drunk and high and playing loud music at 11pm when I have class tomorrow. I'm losing my mind

Warnings: none

Word Count: 462

Masterlist

AO3

You sighed. Every muscle in your body ached. Every bone felt like jelly. A light breeze could knock you over, and perhaps you'd even welcome it. Alas, you had better things to do than collapse in the wind.

Tentative, you peeked through the tent door. Warm orange candlelight hit your face, carrying with it the smell of old books and perfume. Lounging in the center of the mess was exactly the man you needed to see.

"Can I come in?" Your voice is heavy with the day's struggles, words almost slurring together.

Astarion looks up from his book with a grin - more of a smirk, really. "You don't need to ask, darling," he assures. "You are always welcome to join me in whatever I may be doing."

You push the flap aside and trudge in. It's instantly apparent that you do not belong here, with all these comforts and refineries. Your clothes are worn down and dirty. And you weren't fairing much better. But you push away the doubt and toe off your boots. Astarion must notice the way you struggle a bit more than usual with such a simple task. He hums, smirk softening into something more sincere.

"What do you need, love?" he coos. You melt with the care the question brings, all tension pulled from your body with those five words alone.

You kneel before him, hands in your lap and half-lidded eyes pleading with his own. "You," you admit quietly. It's embarrassing to say out loud, but he sits patiently as you work through it. "I just need to be wrapped up in you. Safe."

He opens his arms, book dangling open in one hand. "Come on then, dear. I'm all yours."

You waste no time crawling into his arms. Your body lays on top of his, chest to chest and legs intertwining. His free hand immediately tangles into your hair. Long fingers comb and massage and pet. Astarion relishes the soft sighs you breathe into his neck. Although the position was clumsy at best, you find a way to wrap your arms around him.

There was a time when your full weight over him would have been terrible. The crushing, suffocating weight of a body reminding him too much of cramped quarters and unsuspecting victims. Now he welcomed it any time you needed it.

"Thank you," you breathe into his skin. He tugs lightly at your hair. You sigh with the comfort.

"Anything for you, my love. Sleep well." With a kiss to your temple, he rests his hand on your back, book propped open to the page he left off on. His other hand continues to lazily play with your hair. You drift off to the sound of pages being turned and the smell of bergamot.

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butch-reidentified · 2 months

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I've spoken before about psychopathy, particularly my own, and the importance of recent research and demolishing the stigma and absolutely absurd past conceptions and measures of psychopathy, which were exclusively based on studies of male prisoners convicted of violent crime.

Just to reiterate - psychopathy is not being deranged and uncontrollably violent. Villanelle from Killing Eve is actually an excellent and well-researched example of high-EQ female psychopathy, and the first fictional portrayal I can genuinely see myself in. Psychopaths with high EQ are entirely capable of cognitive empathy, and many (like myself) are actually very gifted in it, and can even make excellent counselors/therapists as a result of this combined with a lack of strong internal biases and the fact that we won't be emotionally impacted/drained by patients. This presentation of psychopathy is becoming more and more recognized and studied, and is distinctly more common in women. We retain the core defining traits, obviously - boldness, deviancy, disinhibition, very high fear threshold, a tendency toward meanness (self-control is a thing, though), reduced capacity for remorse and regret*, and of course lack of affective (emotional) empathy - but are much more able to moderate ourselves and prioritize social functioning, and tend to view the sadistic behavior of low-EQ psychopathic males as wasteful. My wife calls it "prosocial psychopathy."

Anyway, I just kind of wanted to touch on this again since it's been a while and there's a fair few new followers out here. I encourage you to read the above links and check the tag - it's a pretty interesting topic, to me at least.

Edit 4/25/2024: *Regarding the reduced capacity for remorse/regret: I firmly believe this sounds worse than it is. For people like me, at least, it's not that I'm going around doing terrible things and incapable of feeling bad about any of them. The truth is that remorse & regret most frequently occur as a result of intensely emotion-driven behaviors, which as a concept is largely foreign to me - I don't tend toward remorse/regret because the way I interact with the world, analyze situations, and choose to behave in response, is inherently from the very beginning done with the acceptance of potential consequences actively held in my mind. I'm not prone to regret/remorse because I know myself extremely well and make choices as consistent with my understanding of self as possible, having already prepared myself for the possibility that things could go wrong. It's more about being prepared for what might happen and able to cope when things do go wrong, rather than being a piece of shit and not feeling anything about it.

This doesn't make me better or worse than others; it's a neutral fact that male supremacy has made seem otherwise by constantly claiming that "logic" or whatever is superior to emotions. Fuck that. Loads of the best people I've ever known have been very emotion-driven (what non-shit people identify as a firm of being passionate) and some of the shittest people I've known would waste their dying breath insisting they're 100% logical creatures, as if that's even a real thing. To me it feels very simple: if I'm making the best (most internally consistent, most reflective of my personality and values, etc) decisions I possibly can with whatever information I have at the time, then I've done my best, acted with integrity, and don't need to regret my choices. This is very challenging to write/talk about bc of the stigma & connotations involved, but again, this is a completely neutral fact to me in the same way I describe being a woman as a completely neutral fact despite the stigma & connotations involved there. Does any of this make sense?

#mine #psychopathy #emotionality

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welldrawnfish · 28 days

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How do I know if I'm plural?

I recently started talking to myself as like, a way to reassure and encourage myself and stuff. Saying stuff like "you're fine, you didn't do anything wrong" or "Do you want to do X, Y, Z... Z? Alright, let's do Z then." And now I'm not sure if it's just a good coping strategy for me or if I might be plural?

Like I'm not sure sometimes if the person doing the reassuring and the person being reassured are the same person, y'know? And sometimes it feels almost like a kind of dialogue, but other times it just feels like I'm speaking into a void? Are we median? Am I only one gal? Dunno!

And idk what if I'm just trying to like. Appropriate plurality because I think it's neat or something. I know and see a lot of systems and genuinely do think plurality is rly cool so what if I'm just trying to be plural on some level. It always feels kinda deliberate when I talk to myself

Needless to say I am very lost and thinking about it is making my head hurt and my chest tighten. Sorry if this is a bit of a long ask you don't have to respond I'm just trying to find answers however I can

I'm a bit under the weather rn im sorry if this is loopy so I want to make a comic on this eventually, Im just no good at general infographics Plurality is vast, complex, and varied. So its hard to say yes or no based on this But heres the three rules I'll follow looking for plurality without typical DID/OSDD redflags 1. If you have opposing thoughts or morals appear in your thinking process, particularly after a stressful event. 2. If you have names, images, or other things associated with these reassuring voice 3. If people say you have different "modes" or literally say you act like a differnet person sometimes and its confusing. 4. If these voices in your head arent... yours. Its hard to explain, but I feel like those with plurality could explain. --- Ultimately if you want to find out if your plural, 1st.

Be ready if you are scared, might freakout, or are actively angry or upset at these thoughts, understand that if an alter can emerge, they wont if they are under threat. You have to be kind, ready to accept them, and most importantly ready to apologize the them if you were toxic before. They can tell if you are sincere. 2nd.

Look yourself in the mirror, ask to meet anybody in there, tell them Thank you for existing.

3rd.

Imagine yourself a headspace if you don't have one. This is an imaginary world that can be anything you want from vast universes to an empty void. But create a place to meet.

Meditate, create a place to see them, to meet them, to speak with them. Be patient, focus on breathing, focus on visualizing the space. Try to exist solely within that space. Invite them there, they might show 4. Be Ready. Plurality cannot be unseen once you see it, your life will never be the same. And ultimately it could be the best thing ever, but it can be incredibly hard, rocky, and bring up alot of trauma in your life. Be sure you want to explore this and are in a point of your life you are able to handle it.

-- If theres any advice from more educated systems let me know, im not the most educated here, these are just whats worked for me.

#plural system #actually plural #plurality #system stuff

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thatfandomslut · 2 months

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One Last Time

Regina George x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Trigger Warnings:

Requests:

Valentine's / Followers Celebration; Regina George w/ quote 50 and piece of chocolate number 2. Or: “I am here and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder.” w/ angst

Valentine's / Followers Celebration requests are closed.

Regina and (Y/n) had a very deep conversation about college. They decided that when they went, it would be best to terminate their relationship. It wasn't the conclusion either of them wanted, but they couldn't see a way around it. Instead, they explored a summer together that they would never share again. Now, here they were in (Y/n)'s driveway, leaning on her car for one last time, wondering how they were going to cope whenever (Y/n) would be forced to drive away. They had thirty more minutes and they were both a mess. Still, they continued to keep a strong front to not convince themselves that they could make what wouldn't work, work.

"So, are you ready for the semester?" Regina tried to initiate small talk. They both despised small talk, but it was something that they were going to have to get over as they were running out of things to say. They wanted to beg each other to reconsider, but they knew that wouldn't be healthy, Instead, Regina waited patiently for (Y/n) to answer after she was done snorting out a bitter laugh since they were both becoming increasingly aware that the end of their relationship was coming. Though they were desperately trying to grasp onto the final half hour they had left.

(Y/n)'s hand twitched in Regina's finally lacing their fingers together in thought. "I guess, you could say that." She muttered, not feeling ready at all. How could she be ready to conquer university without Regina George by her side? They had been glued to each other's hips since kindergarten, but now they were being ripped away by some cruel sense of fate that they were not fully prepared for. Neither of them processed the fact that their parents would be right, they were going to regret praying and manifesting growing up. Now that it was occurring and that they were going to be separated, they were wishing for a second chance to relive their last couple years of childhood when they got together.

Regina hummed softly, blinking away whatever tears were threatening to roll down her cheek. She refused to cry whenever she promised herself not to. She had to clear her throat to avoid her voice from cracking as she looked over at (Y/n). "You're going to do great. Plus, at least you'll have Cady, right?" Regina was bitter and jealous over the fact that she and Cady got accepted into the same school. Of course, this was partially her fault, too. After all, she could've also applied to attend the same school they did, but instead, she applied for her dream university and would be attending there in the spring instead. She just wished they shared the same dream as they always previously had.

(Y/n) glanced over at Regina, sensing her sarcasm over Cady all too well. In the spirit of ending their time together on good terms, she ignored the comment. "I guess you're right. At least I'll have Cady. However, I'm going to be more dependent on our weekly FaceTimes." (Y/n) confessed, hoping that she wasn't overstepping a boundary by being honest. In truth, she wished that they hadn't reached this conclusion, but she knew that when Regina suggested it, that she was right. High school relationships didn't last. She didn't know why she thought her relationship would be any different than the thousands of other couples that attempted to make it. Still, although it was wishful thinking, she wished Regina could see that they could outlive college together the way she did.

On the opposite side of things, Regina wished that (Y/n) hadn't been so quick to accept her suggestion. Now, she was forced to pretend that she didn't regret suggesting it in the first place. "I'm going to be just as dependent on those as you are. I'm going to miss you a lot." Regina looked down at the time. They had five more minutes together. She wished more than anything that she could put a freeze frame on the time they were spending together. She hated that it felt like their time was ending in just seconds. When she processed what little time they had, Regina's fingers tightened against (Y/n)'s. Neither pulled away, despite the deadly grip. They just kept each other close.

"I'm going to miss you, too, Regina. More than anything." (Y/n) swallowed the sob that was creating a horrendous lump in the back of her throat. She was mentally begging herself not to cry as her mom came out to let her know that she needed to go now. Her mom was right, but (Y/n) found herself cursing her over the fact. Regina almost winced at the feeling of (Y/n)'s hands falling from hers, but she smiled a bit when her hands were soon on her cheeks, pulling her in for a deep kiss. "I love you, Regina. Please know that I love you."

Regina forced herself not to break down right then and there. Instead, she allowed (Y/n) to pull away and get in her car. Before the car door shut, (Y/n) smiled a bit as she heard Regina speak. "I'm not going to say goodbye, but I will say that I'll see you later. Be good in college, loser. I love you, too, always." (Y/n) then proceeded to back out as she went to go pick up Cady from her house. They were going together. This made Regina seethe on the inside because she was envious that not only were they attending together but they were dormmates. She had told (Y/n) that the fates couldn't be crueler to her. A thought that caused (Y/n) to laugh softly as she wiped the tears that were falling down her cheek, burning her skin.

(Y/n) helped Cady pile in her things once she got there. As they were leaving, Cady watched them leave her home. "It's crazy leaving here." She spoke softly, obviously sad in her way. "How did it go with Regina?" (Y/n) knew that the strawberry blonde didn't mean anything by her question, but it unintentionally made her cringe as she focused a bit harder on the road. Still, she didn't want to continue this car ride with Cady thinking she crossed a line, even if she accidentally did. So, instead, she took some time to process her feelings on the subject.

"A lot was going through my mind as we leaned against my car. Like… I am here and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Despite our sad ending, we are not a sad story. I'll always love her." And there it was, the familiar lump in her throat that she had to swallow. She refused to cry and drive. She refused to cry in front of Cady. She knew they were friends and they were going to have to get vulnerable together eventually, but it didn't need to be now. Right now, she just wanted to get the focus off of her and Regina. "Let's get something to eat before we get too far."

Cady nodded softly, getting comfortable as they looked for somewhere to eat. The rest of the drive was quiet as (Y/n) felt her fingers twitching constantly to call Regina. But, for a moment, she needed to just drive and focus on the next chapter in her life. She just wished Regina was in all of those chapters.

#regina george x reader #regina george #mean girls x reader #mean girls

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lollipopliccer · 5 months

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𝔘𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔱m𝔞𝔰 𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔢 ❦

❦ warning lollipop chaos ahead proceed with caution...❦ soft dom nanami , set in a cabin , sex on the floor , praise , daddy kink , pet name usage , whiny reader , impact play . no matter your height or weight , nanami is taller and can bench you like a feather , idgaf .

word count ; 2.9k

black fem reader (still all can read)

lollipopliccer’s love note ❦ ... hiiii this is the first fic i'm writing, AAAAEEEE i'm so excited, & ofc my first fic is gonna be with nanami... this is me coping the best i can, cus when i tell you... its on site with gege akutami, ooooo. (ಡ᎔ಡ) anywayyy this fic is for me to live in my delusions, because in my mind nanami is alive & thriving and gege can suck it blehhhh. also my use of lowcase letters in some instances, (like when i type 'i', or when i make reference to nanami's nickname (kennie)) this is purposeful. in addition this is gonna b prt 1 cus this was long as hell (i wanted my debut to be perfect eeeee) okay byee and enjoyyy ❦

"No Kento the tree is all wrong, i want the tassels to sit that way and the bloody balls are wonky... no nanamiii, you can’t put all the pink balls next to each other" you whine at your man.

Nanami looks pointedly at you, so you check that tone, which he has reprimanded you on, more times than you can count, but you just love how nice it is to boss him around. Such a patient and caring man, he knew how tired his precious girl was from a full day of shopping for all the Christmas decorations (that naturally he paid for), and organising the Christmas celebration for the next week. so of course he made you sit down on the couch while he made you both hot cocoa and brought your fave choco chip cookies, and peppermint candy-cane treats. Even though you repeatedly protested, wanting everything to be perfect, he wasn't going to hear a word:

"Honey, you're going to sit on the couch. i will bring us both hot coca, then you're going to tell me exactly how you want this cabin decorated."

"-But"

"Do you understand y/n?"

"Hmph yes Nanami"

"Thank you my sweet girl"

"Oh go away" you beam smiling.

You were stubborn by nature, but Nanami always knew how to take care of you and how to get you to relax for him, pliant to his demands. It was easy to let Nanami take control of the decorations while you sat so pretty for him and demanded, and whined, about the hanging of the stockings being too crooked, or how the phat tree that reached the ceiling of the living room, wasn't giving the right vibes in his elegant holiday cabin, that he asked you to celebrate Christmas with him in. Nanami was perfectly content to fix it all to your desires.

"Baby i think you've rested enough, would you like to help me decorate the tree?"

"AAAAA YES!" you squeal, as you jump up to go and help decorate the tree with your lover. But you can't help but notice how the tree seems to tower over you, as it seems that Nanami’s sheer height has created the illusion of it being normal-sized. You almost swoon.

"EEEEE that's perfect Kento, okay you have to make sure the pink star is placed at the very centre, or else i will legitimately die"

"Tch" Nanami rolls his eyes, but you still catch his smile peeking through, completely enamoured by you.

The cabin was breathtaking, even better than you could've imagined, with Nanami taking the time to ensure everything was as you wanted. Oh, how he made your heart swell.

"Do you like it, baby?" Kento asks you with genuine uncertainty as if you're not literally at a loss for words. He pulls you into a hug, holding you as you rest your head on his chest feeling completely content.

"kennie..." you whisper, "you make me so fucking happy." You can feel him bring your bodies so close together, your proximity to him makes you grow restless- nuzzling your head into his neck. You're welcomed with a wave of his cologne, filling the air with its sensual, rich woody scent. Oh, how he intoxicates you.

"i'm glad to hear that my love." he replies, while you take the time to appreciate him by kissing down his neck, trying your best to mark him just a little bit. Even though Nanami tried to avoid visible hickey marks around his neck, he can’t help but respond with a hiss, sucking in his breath in anticipation of you. He can't blame you, he would never blame his princess, not when you just get so desperate for him; Making it so hard for him to keep his composure.

"Baby, i should feed you first, hmm? You haven't eaten all day and i know you're exhausted from shopping."

You hold Nanami tighter, almost clambering up him like a tree, getting needier and needier for him as he carries you with ease, whilst kissing his neck earning a little moan from your man "mmmno kennie i want you to play with me, hold me please" as you brushed your chest against his.

Holding and caressing your face, how could he deny you, "Sweetheart..." he utters with both your faces so close to each other. The peppermint engulfs him, making his mind run frenzied with filthy, tempting thoughts of all that he could do to you.

"Please daddy," you whine as you run your pretty acrylic nails (that he paid for ofc) through his golden, luscious hair "i promise i'm okay, kennie i swear, i just need you". Even though Nanami is usually the first to say what you need, you know just as well what makes him weak for you.

Kento already losing his resolve, completely melts you into a kiss. It starts off slow, and sensual, but it is intense- oh how it turns you to goo, butterflies fluttering all around.

The kiss grows in intensity as you both grow needy, feeling him through your matching shorts. You try frustratingly to rut against his dick which makes you gasp and whine, but Kento's having none of that whining, biting your lip in retaliation. His princess is going to be good and patient for him, just as he likes.

"I've got you baby, hold on to me okay", he brings you both down onto the carpet, next to the fireplace, right under the Christmas tree. At this angle, you're able to feel him consume you, and how his hard cock rubs your swollen, aching clit over your shorts, you can practically feel his tip already leaking with precum. It's so hard to control yourself when you're with him, he takes such good care of you, and it simply makes you want him inside of you constantly.

"Pleasee" you whine as Nanami grinds against you and kisses you like he's starving, you can hardly breathe. Trying to keep up, you can't help but grab and pull his hair, his top, his pj bottoms, fucking anything-

You whine, trying to get him as close to you as possible, but it's never close enough,

"Patience princess", he begins kissing down your neck, and this makes you melt, surrendering to his control. "That's it baby, mmm i've got you, just gotta be patient for me. Daddy' s going to take care of you, promise." Nanami soothes, though his words do anything but calm you, you moan demanding more.

All control leaves you, feeling a sudden heat as you whine and pant, craving more. Nanami, usually so put together, is losing his composure to the point his throbbing dick aches just at the thought of his tip feeling your warm, sloppy pussy. But he never rushes, no he is thorough, and meticulous in all that he does for you, he will work you till you're fucking broken. A fucking mess.

"What did i just tell you, mmm baby?, i want you to be patient for me, my pretty girl thinks she can be good for me?” *bite*

"Ahhh, yes daddy" you moan, wincing from the mild pain of Nanami's bite on your neck, tethering him to you.

You know how good he rewards you when he has his way with you, how he makes you fucking drool all over him, oh you want it so bad.

"That's my girl, pull your shorts down." As he does the same with you, you watch his body and how he's decorated with your hickeys, his beautifully built body, towering over you. And as he takes down his matching pj bottoms you can see the print of his throbbing bulge, leaving a wet spot from where his impatient tip is begging to be wrapped in your tight, warm pussy.

He knows his demand makes you think he's going to fuck you stupid on his cock, that is always a struggle to take, but he knows what's best, he knows he's going to work you rigorously, till you go dumb for him, his pathetic little slut- he'll scoop you right up and feed you full...

Nanami will have you at his pace. Will work you at his pace. That's when he cradles your head into such a deep kiss, stroking your tongue with his, having your saliva mix together - so messy. So dirty. He watches as a string of spit appears between the two of you as you pull apart; he can't help but push his two fingers past your soft lips.

"Suck."

Without hesitation, you take his fingers into your mouth, coating them with your saliva. You just want to show him how you'll take anything for him, how perfect you are for him, how happy he makes you.

"That's it baby" he praises as you start moaning on his fingers like a starved slut, while he squeezes and lightly strokes your thighs with his other hand. You start moving your hips trying to get him to touch you where you need, oh where you need him so badly, it fucking aches, "daddy, it aches please, please touch me", you mumbled. You look up at him, to watch how his eyes are hung low, yet so intense, and his soft lips, glistening with your last kiss, have you hypnotised. Completely enchanted by you, he won’t make you wait much longer, he never wants to make his baby suffer.

Nanami brought his fingers out of your mouth, while he gripped your plump thighs and he couldn't help but take a bite. Licking and marking you so close to where you needed him. He knew you couldn't take it, he knew how he drove you fucking crazy. It was punishment, punishment for making him so easily swayed as his lady, his soon-to-be wife. The way you mewled and whined made his fingers itch to stuff your pretty little mouth again, his fixation on them was maddening. But he's made you wait long enough, he won't toy with you, not when he has to touch you, feel you, or he might burst.

"So fucking greedy" he chastises, whilst gently bringing his wet fingers down to spread your soaked lips apart so that his middle finger lightly brushes against your clit. You gasp at his touch, igniting your whole body, while Nanami watches intently, taking you in completely; "m'not" you whine,

he leans over you while his fingers take the wetness, only slightly dipping inside, to tease your needy little hole for him to toy with your throbbing clit.

"No baby?" Both of you face-to-face, he circles around your sensitive clit - you gasp and moan, for Nananmi to be right there ready to have you, holding his mouth so close to yours while you struggle just to take his fingers on that tender clit. You move your hands into his hair once again feeling so soft beneath your fingers, making him tingle while he feels your pretty nails tug.

"No kennie, i only wanna please you". Nanami responds to you by sliding his fingers into your soaked pussy, having your wetness give off a little squelch in his motions. This forced a whimper out of you, so soft, so fucking whiny "that's right baby, you're my sweet. girl. aren't you? So. good. for me. isn't that right?" Punctuating each beat of his words with the stroke of his perfectly fitted, long digits that always reach where you need them most, places where you could never get, places that get you so needy and impatient for more, that you begin clutching his shoulders, digging those pretty nails down his back, just how he needs.

"Nghhahh ken-, fuck daddy aah"

"Answer me." he reprimands, smacking your sore, marked-up thigh, once again making you remember how he's trained you, his perfect princess.

"m'sorry, daddy" you're panting - trying so hard to stay focused, trying not to lose it so quickly, so pathetically, just from a few pumps of his fingers in your sloppy pussy, his pretty pussy. "Yes daddy, i'm only good for you, only you kennie" you mewl.

Nanami, gives into you completely, enveloping you in a passionate kiss, bringing your tongues together, stroking against each other. He mirrors the curve and dips of his tongue with his fingers, bringing his thumb to your clit disciplining you like his perfect slut, while he plays with your little bundle of nerves, just how he wants. While he curves his fingers to find the spot, oh that spot that makes you lose your fucking mind, that you can no longer kiss him how you want, so hard for you to keep up. You've given in to him, so pliant for him to play with. You sob, gripping and clutching even harder onto his back, making him hiss and moan in pain. You can both feel his bulge grow impossibly hard, oozing precum on your plush thighs that begin to shake.

"Sshhh baby, i've got you, daddy's got you mmm,"

"nngh ahh kennie i can't, please... ohhh ffuck" you sob rolling your head back and arching your back so pretty for him

"i know baby, i know, but you're gonna take it for me, won't you?" Nanami brings his other hand to pull and hold you down so you're laid out for him, putting some pressure on your pelvis so you feel what he's doing with you more intensely.

Your pants, your moans, whines, Nanami soaks them all up, going straight to his throbbing cock, aching in pain. Wanting nothing more than to stuff you so fucking full, and coat you all over, with his cum, make his cum fucking leak out of you. So you're a drooling mess on his dick.

Alas, he is a patient man.

"Please, i can-nghh can't" you whimper, trying to hold his hand, to get him to slow down, even just a little, just to take it a little easy on your aching pussy.

"Move your hand." he says it so sternly it makes you almost fucking orgasm squeezing your knees together and mewling like a fucking slut. Nanami immediately slaps you (softly whilst still stern), the sting making your eyes prick with tears immediately making you regret your actions,

"Daddy m'sorry" you sob, all while he doesn't let up from fucking your sore little pussy with his fingers. Make you take them without complaint because that's how good girls behave. He separates and holds your thighs apart warning you,

"If you try that shit again honey, i will hurt you, do you understand?"

"Yes sir" you whimper, averting your eyes from him and biting your lip to still try and muffle your moans

"Look at me y/n... there's my sweet girl" as he removes his hand holding your thighs to stroke your face, bringing his thumb to your mouth-

“-Suck baby", and of course, his thumb is in your mouth without a second thought. you suck and moan on his thumb so pretty, while his other hand toys with you. Unrelenting, firm and yet still soft, Nanami holds and fucks you like the most delicate slut, his only slut.

"Daddy- fuckkkmngh ahh" Nanami can feel your pretty pussy clench around his fingers, gripping him in so perfectly so that he finds that little spongey spot, that only he gets. At this point, you're already a blubbering mess, but once he starts to stroke up on your g-spot- so deep. so firm. you feel as though you're going to fucking combust. You grip his arm so firm you almost try and wiggle away, Nanami has gotten you so sensitive it's almost hard to take

"i know baby, fuck, i know..." he softly whispers in your ear, as your eyes roll to the back of your head, your mouth falling agape whilst his thumb is still on your lips, causing some drool to pool down your cheek. You look so beautifully fucked. Nanami is holding on by a thread to not flip you over and genuinely fuck your brains out, he wants to make you come over and over, one after the other, but he will never rush, he is a thorough man.

"... you'll take it for me though, i know you can baby" he softly groans, whilst rutting his pulsing dick on your thighs slightly, his tip so pretty turning red whilst it gently hits the flush of your thighs, angry and throbbing.

"Oh my god aaa fu-kennie! daddy aa-" Your legs start twitching, white borders building as you start tearing up from pleasure. You quickly bring your arms around Kento holding on to him, begging him not to stop, he couldn't possibly do such a thing, he wants you fucking cum drunk.

"I've got you baby, let go, come for me mmm," he says after kissing your forehead so softly, while your hips buck and your body twitches, you're barely coherent, blubbering and begging to cum.

"There's my good girl, you're going to cum on my fingers" keeping his fingers firm and steady, curving into your tight little fucking pussy, while circling your puffy clit so perfectly. You clutch and keen onto Nanami, leaving marks all over him that sting so badly. You look so wildly desperate to simply fuck yourself till all your thoughts are on him alone. But it's when Nanami begins biting and marking you down your neck- exacerbating your pleasure, making you tingle all over as your nipples perk up. Your head falls back to expose yourself to him, moaning and whining to his surrender "Daddy-" you whine "I'm gon- gonna cum" as you finally cum undone, spiralling- you sob wantonly, cumming with a loud whimpering cry.

Having all your pleasure gush onto Nanami, as he fucks your mess back into you slowly which makes you hiss from overstimulation.

"Sshh baby, you made a mess all over daddy, can't have it all go to waste mmm? i have to fuck it all back inside, gotta take care of you mm" he whispers down into a kiss holding you in place while you whimper... so fucking sensitive…❦

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jelzorz · 5 months

Text

167.

It's an argument Callum never thought he would have. He and Soren get along better these days, which isn't a high bar to set considering what their relationship was like when they were younger, and while they're certainly part of each other's family, so to speak, they're not what they'd call best friends. Soren is too much like an older brother, but not like the way Callum is an older brother—Callum cares about safety and plans, and Soren likes being fun (reckless) and ridiculous (stupid).

It's unsurprising, then, that Callum has never really needed advice from Soren, nor has he ever heeded it when it's given. And most times it's fine. When Rayla was away, it was always about going out or getting drinks or meeting other girls (or guys), none of which Callum really cared for at the time, and Soren took no offence when Callum turned him down or went home early. They're just different people like that, with different interests and different coping mechanisms—and then there's this.

They're in his office, gathered around Aaravos' prison. It's the second time they've had this meeting, only this time Callum has the Nova Blade on his desk next to the pearl, and now that they've got it, now that it's tangible, now that the concept of victory is real, the discussion is that much more serious.

There is no secret knock this time, no grumpy blindfolded Opeli, no pretense about what to do. It's break the prison and kill Aaravos, or wait around and risk Aaravos killing them. To Callum, the answer is pretty simple, but Ez and Soren and Opeli stare him down from the other side of his desk like he's just broken a law. Rayla, alone, stands with him on his side of the desk looking just as defiant as he.

"I don't understand what's not to get," bristles Callum. "We have the Nova Blade We can kill him and end this once and for all. Why are you all hesitating?"

"Because we don't know if it'll work?" says Ez dourly. "Because we have no idea how powerful Aaravos might be? Because you and Rayla went off to get the stupid Nova Blade without telling us?"

"So this isn't even about killing him, it's because we didn't get permission."

"It's about how we're supposed to be a team!" snaps Ez. "It's about how we're a council, how we're supposed to talk about this and decide things together, and you guys thought you'd just do what you want even though we decided together that we weren't going to do anything stupid!"

"This isn't stupid!" says Callum, scowling. "This is our chance to beat him! You're telling me that we have an opportunity to kill the most dangerous elf the world has ever seen and you just want to wait and see?"

"We're saying that we have no idea whether or not this will work, and that it's not worth doing anything reckless!"

"Your Highness," Opeli cuts in, massaging the bridge of her nose. "This wasn't the plan. None of us agreed to this, and barreling in without evidence is foolish at best."

"It will work though!" insists Callum. "The Celestial elves said so!"

"That's not evidence, that's hearsay."

"Look, Callum." That's Soren, and Callum almost blinks because it's rare that he's the one breaking up arguments. "I get it. You really think that this'll work. Just—what happens if it doesn't? What happens if you start a fight you can't finish? What if you're wrong?"

Callum scoffs. "I'm not wrong," he says loftily. "I did the research. I know this will work."

"Yeah, but what if?" says Soren, patient but somehow condescending, which was only ever something Callum had seen in swordfighting lessons when they were younger and Soren was a bully. "No offense, but going in like this is stupid."

Callum makes a face. "Really?" he drawls. "You're lecturing me about being stupid."

"You fucking bet I am," says Soren coolly. "Take it from someone who's been there. Starting this fight when you don't need to is the dumbest thing you could possibly do right now."

"I didn't start anything!" snaps Callum. "This fight was already going! I'm here to end it! What the hell are you three doing about it?"

"We're on the same side, Callum," says Ezran, hands raised like he's trying to placate his brother. "We just want to be careful!"

"Careful?" Callum barks out a laugh. "Doing nothing isn't careful! The elf in there is the most powerful being in the world! He'll destroy us all if we don't do something about it now!"

Soren scowls at him then, his arms crossed judgementally across his chest. "You sound like my dad," he mutters.

There's a pause. The silence in Callum's study beats, because they all know what Viren was like, they all know the things that Viren did, and Soren has the nerve—

"I'm nothing like him," snarls Callum.

"Really?" challenges Soren. "You're one step out from destroying an egg because it's a threat—"

"This isn't an egg, it's an elf who could conquer the world—"

"Who's imprisoned in a magical prison designed to keep him in," snaps Soren, "and you want to let him out on the idea that you might be able to kill him?" He snorts. "You're just like him. You're so convinced you can save the world that you don't care who you put in harm's way to do it."

Another pause. Callum's lungs fill with protests and counterarguments and words that definitely can't be said in polite conversation, but the only thing that leaves him in the end is, "Get out."

They do. Opeli leads the way. Soren takes the the pearl. Ezran shoots him a dirty glare. The door shuts behind them and then there is silence again except for Callum's breathing, heavy and furious that they would accuse him of being anything like Viren.

"You haven't said anything," he mutters to Rayla.

Rayla takes a breath. "I don't know what there is to say," she says quietly. "They might be right."

"Are you seriously siding with them right now?"

"No," says Rayla coolly. "I'm always on your side. But it's something to consider. If we're wrong..." She swallows. "I really don't want you to be wrong."

She touches his hand gently, and Callum flinches away like her fingers burn against his skin. The accusation stings because it was Viren who imprisoned her family, Viren who stole Zym's egg, Viren who started all this in the first place and the idea that he could be like him in any capacity is—

He breathes in. "Do you think I'm like him?"

Rayla shrugs. "Maybe you are," she says. "But ultimately, it doesn't really matter. Not to me. To me, you're Callum. I trust you, no matter what." She offers him a smile, a promise, and Callum hopes, with all his heart, that she isn't wrong to place that trust in him.

#in anticipation #pre s5 #rayllum #its literally so easy to make callum an asshole and i love that for him #callum my guy i get u but calm your fucking farm #anyway the viren-callum parallels are my favourite thing in the world rn in case you couldn't tell

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panda-writes-kpop · 2 months

Text

Sweet Grape Slushie ~ Jinsoul

a/n: i'm still not over pjo s1, so you're getting another fic that can help cure the brain rot (ps i'll get back to requests after i post the dami b-day fic and work on the other march birthdays for idols and friends).

also, if you aren't aware, the slushie title comes from a prompt list I made a year(?) ago. Feel free to check it out below if you're interested!

tw: sad vibes for a sweet fic but it's okay bc I make the rules :), single parent! reader

Summary: You were a mortal. Jinsoul was a goddess. Your child was the best of both of you. Maybe it's time that the two of them meet.

♡ Masterlist ♡ ▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎ ☆ Prompt List ☆

It wasn’t fair.

To you, to her, to your child.

Her child.

To be a child of a goddess is to be blessed with glorious purpose and unending strife. To have a mother you have never met and another parent who is struggling to cope with day-to-day life.

Sometimes, you wish you hadn't gone to that stupid aquarium and met a beautiful woman who captivated your mind, body, and soul. She was ethereal, among other humans, but you would learn that she was, in all seriousness, out of this world.

Things were good between the two of you for a while. Jinsoul was everything you could've asked for in a partner. You were together for years, and you wish you would be together right now.

Maybe you wouldn't be such a complete fucking failure if she was right next to you.

You can imagine her sweet smile as she wraps her arms around you and cuddles into your side.

"C'mon, babe, we can figure this out. It's you and me. What can't we face together?" She'd softly whisper into your ear as you sigh.

"Parenthood, apparently." You mutter as you look over at your child.

They patiently await for you to return with not a clue in the world of your internal dialog. They'd have to know about Jinsoul one day... why not now?

You weren't really mad at her, and if you were, it didn't last long. She was a goddess who had much more important people to deal with. Jinsoul didn't need your emotional baggage as well.

You just wanted her to send a sign that she was thinking of you two. Something that says "sorry for leaving a baby on your doorstep and deciding to never see you again!".

You're probably asking for too much.

Against your better judgment, you grab a nearby matchbox and light a match before dropping it in a half-drank milkshake. You said you were going to pay the bill, as your excuse to compose yourself before having a mental breakdown in front of your child, but only empty dishes greeted you at the hostesses' desk.

You hear rain gently knock against a nearby window as a small tear runs down your face.

A bell rings, signaling the entrance of another guest.

Soft footsteps approach you until someone stops to your left.

"You came." You say, looking directly at your child.

You don't need to hear her voice to know that she's right there, but you find yourself relaxing when Jinsoul addresses you.

"You called."

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inchidentally · 5 months

Note

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoN-7mE1AI4 Girl, I've got something for us! New content :) <3

holy FUCK anon I've had to wait to thank you properly bc FUCK

Oscar waiting for Lando to answer first bc he knows Lando loves quizzes that are about himself Scorpio Princess

twins allegations are literally never going away w how similar they are

but also the allegations of Oscar being made in a factory as the perfect teammate for Lando: patient and indulgent like Carlos, adoring and easygoing like Daniel, but with a special unique element of calm, authority and casual competence that tickles Lando's overwired please-care-for-me brain juuuust right

Oscar knowing he barely even needs to answer about the music bc Lando "he listens to what I listen to"

D/s and DD/lg dynamic like a kick to the chest every time Lando steals the best answer first and Oscar praises him for what good choices they are and...

Oscar rubbing his eyes "okay if that's disallowed then" followed by Lando nervously "I like how I'm making the rules here! you can choose sleep if you want!" and Oscar saying "nah, I'm gonna keep you happy" the same way he'd say princess will have to pay for this with fifteen spanks later but daddy will let you act up for now SORRY that's just how it sounds to me ????

Lando talking Oscar round to his own answers every single time

Oscar having changed his pre-race diet to Lando's ??? high performance pro athletes and their pregame food is so incredibly specific and Oscar was like oh just make two of those please

Lando wriggling and beaming bc he has Oscar not just wrapped around his little finger and bowed entirely to his will he's even got Oscar's hindbrain saying Lando's name as his own for rapid fire quizzes

like can we appreciate here that F1 drivers - especially young/new drivers to the grid - have had to take such an aggressively self-focused approach to their careers to even make it as pro's and that all mental training has them solely centered around what they need to be perfect and perform at their peak... but Oscar showed up fully able to zone in once in the car and otherwise cope with any and all distractions and fully accepted that McLaren is Lando's team...

and that Lando practically tapped his feet and clapped his hands with joy bc he needs the pineapple in his wraps to be cut very small and he insisted on racing so far ahead of his body's growth that he got velcro put into his kart to stop him from flying out at corners, and his support system have all been with him 10+ years, and sometimes his energy comes in so many bursts he can't contain it but sometimes it just drops and he just wants to collapse in a heap for half an hour and Max said sometimes he's awake at 5am ready to go and other days he's like waking the dead and Carlos was aye aye aye Landito and Daniel was overstimulating as hell

but Oscar sits like a Lando-powered robot patiently awaiting what Lando needs or what Lando will do next and I'm losing what's left of my mindito

#inchreplies #landoscar #every 3-5 min video of them is like ten chapters worth of power dynamics discussion I'm so sorry #sports illustrated rapid fire #landoscar lore

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haruharuz · 1 year

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Self Therapy; A Note

I've been pondering about this concept for quite a while now. Therapy itself is a wonderful tool to pick your broken pieces up and gently glue them back together- as if they were never broken at all.

However, not everyone has the resources to truly indulge in such tools. So I mulled over the idea of doing therapy almost at home. While it won't be as effective, as far as my personal experience goes, therapists typically give out homework to their patients.

I want to make it clear that because you're doing this kind of thing at home, it is vital to remain cautious. This is not medical advice, just something to consider.

If you do not have the resources to go to therapy, doing a self therapy session every single week could be beneficial, I think. I'm making a little guide on how exactly I personally am choosing to do this.

(●´∀｀●)

Step One: Choose An App

There are many many free apps specifically geared towards mental health. I've used a few, one of which being "WYSA" which I personally enjoyed. Pick one you think would suit you!

I enjoy these apps primarily because they typically have some free form of help. Like breathing exercises, meditation, etc! You can skip this step if you don't feel comfortable.

Step Two: Find Resources Online

You can easily find a lot of free resources online by looking up "therapy worksheet" "anxiety worksheet" "depression worksheet" etc.

Find a couple that you think would suit you to work on for the first week. The more you find, I recommend stockpiling them into a folder! This way, every new session you can either pre-plan said worksheets or grab a couple quickly.

I also highly recommend looking for journal prompts! Especially shadow work journal prompts that help you release certain emotions. You can do this with pen and a notebook or you can use a laptop/tablet for this! If you don't feel secure, password protect documents or hide your journal in a very safe place.

Step Three: Plan your first Session

Identify what you would like to address/work on during the session. Write it down.

Find the worksheets and exercises you want to do, plan them out. It's easier to go ahead and print/write/type them now and put them in a folder with a clear name. (e.g. ST.session1)

Find a day in the week when you know you will have at least one hour of free time. During this one hour of free time, you will be taking the time to do all of your things ! You can do this before bed, in the middle of the day. Just choose a time you think would be best.

I recommend setting a small goal every 1-2 sessions. Remember, goals should be reasonable, attainable, and measurable. Little steps. (For instance, if you struggle with severe social anxiety like I did, you can make a goal "order a coffee one time", but there's many ways to do this)

You can add more to this if you want! Please remember, you can add a face mask and reading a nice book, or other coping skills/self care to this if you think it might help. I recommend choosing things based off on how much time you have and how effective they are at helping you cope. You can also add them all separately to a "self care" day weekly. Up to you.

Example Setup

I'm sharing my personal set-up and plan with you! Some people need visuals <3

This is my folder set up:

as you can see, I have three folders inside a "self therapy" folder!

inside the "journaling" folder, I have three documents that align with the session outline (pictured next) that is in its respective folder. The first one has a journal prompt, the second two are completely blank and only named. They're just sitting there, waiting and ready!

This is my session outline. It includes what issues I'll be addressing and what exercises I'll be doing. Also, the next goal I'd like to work towards. This includes how I plan to do so. I also put a clear DAY and TIME for this session.

This is the worksheet I'll be doing:

And that's all! I'll be following this tomorrow and drinking some chocolate milk and relaxing :3 not too shabby, huh! Don't forget, if you are ever thinking about hurting yourself: call a hotline.

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pedroscurls · 16 days

Text

chance encounters | pt. 2

character(s): we got all the Triple Frontier boys in this chapter (obvi except Tom). Benny Miller, Will "Ironhead" Miller, Santiago "Pope" Garcia, Frankie "Catfish" Morales, fem!Reader summary: Days blend together and it's become three months since you started training with Benny, and you use fighting and training as a distraction from your grief. It's when you're alone when things become too much. Luckily, Benny books you your first fight and your mind remains focused on winning (rather than dealing with the loss of your best friend). word count: 4.1k a/n: While I do train muay thai/kickboxing, I don't think I'd ever be able to fight (even when sparring in class I'm always so nervous lol), anyway... I hope you guys enjoy. We're going to delve deeper into Reader's grief in the next upcoming chapters and a certain someone might be able to help... warnings: grief (and Reader doing a poorly job at coping with the loss), violence - it's Reader's first fight!, mutual pining between Frankie and Reader series masterlist | ultimate masterlist

It had been three months. Three months since you started training with Benny at his gym. Three months since you started fighting again.

But that also meant it had been a total of six months since you lost your best friend. They say that days get better, that they get easier, but why does it feel like you haven’t gotten any better at all? You’re stuck in this same pattern where the only joy and excitement you feel is when you step foot into Benny’s gym. When your glove hits the heavy bag. When your leg connects with the pads that Benny holds. But as soon as you leave, you’re back to square one.

Every morning and every night, you lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling as your mind refuses to shut off. You’re afraid to close your eyes because when you do, all you see is your best friend. You can hear his laugh. You can see his smile. You can imagine him here.

And you hate it. You hate it because when you do open your eyes, you’re back to reality. You won’t ever be able to hear his laugh or his voice again. You won’t ever be able to see him smile or have him physically here with you.

All he is now is just a memory, haunting you day and night.

Benny has been so patient with you and you had gotten to know more about the three men you saw three months ago. The other blue-eyed man turned out to be his older brother, Will. He was quiet and reserved, but just like Benny, whenever he smiled, you felt a sense of comfort and security.

Then, there was Santiago… or Santi, he liked to say. He was just as outgoing as Benny was and he certainly wasn’t afraid to let you know how attractive he thought you were. It was meant to be a compliment and it would have usually made you blush and smile, but instead, it just earned him a curt nod before you walked past him to start training with Benny. Since then, though, Santiago had always tried to make you smile or laugh and there had been a few times where he succeeded, but as soon as the smile touched your lips or the laugh escaped you, you shut down. It didn’t feel right being happy.

And lastly, there was Frankie. He was just as quiet and reserved as Will was, but there was something about him that was soft and welcoming. You couldn’t explain it. In fact, he was the only one you hadn’t really spoken to. He liked to keep to himself, but there were certain gestures or actions that made you feel safe with him. He would hand you your duffle bag when you were getting ready to go home, give you a towel when you were drenched in sweat, and he even went so far to order food one night when you had mumbled that you hadn’t eaten all day.

Today, just like any other day, you step into Benny’s gym. Music is quietly playing and you see all four men wrestling on the mats. It didn’t seem like they were taking it seriously and you can hear their laughter echo the walls of the gym. It makes your heart flutter for a moment because even in the midst of your own grief, these four men managed to sneak into your life and begin to make a home. In fact, you couldn’t even begin to imagine life without them. You knew your best friend would have gotten along with them just fine, especially Benny. And it pains you because your best friend isn’t here to enjoy this with you.

“Oh, hey!” Santiago calls out, finally being overpowered by Benny as he lands on his back with a thud. “We were just messing around.”

“And I won,” Benny grins, climbing off of Santiago and standing up.

“You’re like thirty pounds heavier than I am. Of course you won.” Santiago rolls his eyes, but lets out a chuckle.

“It’s all about technique,” Benny winks. “Anyway, I thought I had you scheduled to start in an hour.” He says to you.

“Right,” you sigh. “I just figured I could come in early and hit the bag. If that’s okay?”

“You sure you won’t be tired?” Will says, sitting up as he and Frankie both try to catch their breaths. “You’re always training. Are you getting any rest?”

“Trying,” you admit quietly.

Frankie’s eyes soften immediately. Since the moment he saw you, he could see the sadness in your eyes, the void that is now left within you after finding out that you had lost your best friend. Loss was something he and the rest of the guys were all too familiar with, especially with being in their line of service, but that didn’t make it any easier. Frankie had numbed his grief and his pain with drugs and alcohol that it got to a point where he almost lost everything, he almost lost himself and it was his friends that brought him back to life. It wasn’t easy, but without them, he knew he wouldn’t have made it.

“Well, we’ll get out of your way. Go ahead and warm up,” Benny says. He and the rest of the guys stand up to give you space on the mat and Frankie is the last one to brush past you. He hears you let out a shaky breath and for a moment he pauses, stands right next to you.

“Hey, are you–” he quietly begins.

“Gotta train,” you interrupt, moving past him.

Frankie sighs and nods, following the rest of the guys towards Benny’s office in the back. Once inside, Benny hands him a bottle of water and sits down on the couch along the wall, glancing over at the door every so often.

“What’s up, Fish?” Santiago asks, arching a brow.

“I don’t think she’s okay,” Frankie points out.

“I’d have to agree with you there,” Benny says. “But if she doesn’t want to share, then we can’t force her. We all know what that’s like. You especially, Fish.”

Frankie tightens his jaw, running a hand through his unruly curls. “She’s struggling. You guys saw me struggle and still forced me to–”

“That’s because we have history, hermano,” Santiago interrupts. “We’ve only known her for a few months. We can’t just– We can’t just insert ourselves in her life when she’s made it clear that we’re all just… Acquaintances?”

“I was going to surprise her, think maybe it’ll cheer her up, but I booked her first fight for this Friday.” Benny says. “I think we’re all more than just acquaintances, but it’s her grief and we can’t push her on it.”

Will nods. “We all grieve differently. We all know this. Just give her time. If she wants to talk, she’ll reach out to one of us.”

“And how are you sure?” Frankie asks.

Santiago, Will, and Benny all share a look with each other before they turn their attention to Frankie. They can all visibly see the concern in his features and it’s only then that they realize that’s probably something more to this.

“Okay, what’s really going on, Frankie?” Santiago asks.

“Nothing,” Frankie waves off. “I’m just– We’ve all been in her shoes and we had each other to get us through it.”

“You like her,” Benny slowly grins. “You’ve barely talked to her and you like her.”

“Oh, shut up. I barely know her.”

Will chuckles. “But you like her?”

“I’m just trying to be nice, okay?” Frankie sighs. “It’s nothing like that.”

“You like her,” Santiago chuckles. “To be honest though, she does stare at you a little longer than everyone else.”

Frankie rolls his eyes. “Okay, you know what, I’m leaving.”

“But wait,” Benny chuckles. “You gonna say bye to her?”

Frankie’s jaw tightens and he playfully punches Benny’s arm, shaking his head. “You guys are assholes.”

“But you love us,” Santiago grins.

“Debatable,” he mumbles. “I just think… Maybe it’d be nice if we got her some flowers or cake or a card? I don’t fuckin’ know.”

“She doesn’t seem like the flowers kind of girl and she can’t have cake.” Benny says. “A card might be a good start," he teases.

“Great, you’ll be in charge of that, Fish,” Santiago winks.

“Bye,” Frankie says with a shake of his head as he leaves Benny’s office. He walks down the hallway and hears the sounds of the bag and exhaled breaths. He sees you hitting the bag with such speed and precision; Benny was right. You did have potential to become a legitimate fighter. Frankie enjoys watching you train because you’re so dialed in, so focused that everything around you just seems to disappear. Just like it is now, you’re light on your feet, bouncing on your toes as you deliver punches and hooks to the bag, finishing with a knee or a high kick. It’s impressive. You’re impressive.

He doesn’t stay long, doesn’t notice the way that your shoulders sag forward when the round ends. It’s almost like your body reminds you of the grief that encompasses your entire being. To be honest, fighting was a way for you to distract yourself from the grief and loss of your best friend. You’re not dealing with your grief. Instead, you’re pushing it as far back as you can, trying to focus on other things because you know that if you put your attention on the fact that your best friend died, you won’t be able to pull yourself out of it.

—

Friday rolls around and you’re in the locker room, warming up. It’s your first fight and Benny seems more nervous than you are. Your hands are already wrapped and you’re shadowboxing to keep your muscles warm, bouncing on your toes and switching stances from orthodox to southpaw. Frankie, Will, and Santiago enter the locker room just a few minutes before your fight begins.

“We wanna wish you luck,” Will says, pulling you into a gentle hug. “We know you’re gonna do great.”

“Thank you, Will.”

Santiago looks at you and smiles. “Make sure this pretty face doesn’t get beat up, yeah?”

You roll your eyes, the corner of your lips lifting just slightly. “You never quit, do you?”

Santiago chuckles. “With you? Never.” He winks.

Frankie then walks towards you. He’s wearing his Standard Heating Oil cap as usual and he lets a small smile line his lips. “Be safe, okay, hermosa?”

Hermosa. The pet name slips and Frankie bites his lower lip. The tops of his ears begin to burn, turning red in slight embarrassment. He brings a hand to rub the back of his neck and even you are taken by surprise by the pet name. It brings a sense of warmth in the pit of your belly though and instead of waiting for Frankie to pull you into a hug, you wrap your arms around him and let out a shaky exhale. With Frankie, it’s almost like he can tell what you’re feeling, can read how you’re doing, and right now, Frankie’s arms tighten just enough around you that makes you feel safe, that makes you feel like things are going to be okay.

“Alright, my little warrior,” Benny grins. “Let’s get out there.”

My little warrior. There’s an immediate shift in you and you pull away from Frankie immediately. He goes to say something, but he notices the look on your face, the distance in your eyes. You’re no longer here with him, with them, and he knows that your mind is elsewhere.

But he can also see the way your eyes glaze over with unshed tears, threatening to spill out. Instead, you take a deep breath and put in your mouth guard, allowing Benny to slide on your gloves.

You’re walking out of the locker room and down the hallway, eyes focused straight ahead of you as the four men remain behind you. You’re supposed to feel excited, thrilled for your first fight, but all you can think about is your best friend and how he wasn’t there to be able to watch you. You clench your hands into fists, your gloves tightening around your hands and you shake your arms loose, seeing the octagon as the crowd cheers and boos.

The cutman inspects you, making sure that you have your mouthguard in and your gloves tight and secure. Afterwards, the cutman then spreads petroleum jelly across your face - your cheekbones, the bridge of your nose, your forehead, your chin. They are the most common areas to be hit so the petroleum jelly is to help prevent cuts and tears from the impact that you’re sure you’re about to take in this fight.

Once the cutman finishes, you turn to Benny and he pulls you into a tight hug. You’re closest to him, especially with him being your coach, but he hasn’t yet known your full story yet. “Stay focused,” he says, pulling away. “You got this.”

You nod and gently tap his chest with your gloves before you turn to see Will, Santiago, and Frankie flash you a thumbs up from their seats in the front. You enter the octagon and let out a deep breath, your opponent staring down at you with narrowed eyes. You feel the nerves settle in, leaning back against the cage of the octagon as the announcer begins to announce your opponent’s name and her current record. You’re obviously the underdog, with this being your first fight, no one in the crowd (except for Benny and the rest of the guys) believe you can win.

“The Warrior!” you hear the announcer exclaim and immediately, you feel a shift within you. All you can do is focus on the woman on the other end of the octagon, eyes staring straight into her and the rest of the crowd disappears. The referee calls the both of you into the middle of the ring and you step forward, shifting between your feet as you keep your eyes solely on the woman in front of you.

“Are we clear?” the referee says after having told you both the rules. You both nod and you reach out to touch her gloves, but she just rolls her eyes and steps away, not bothering to give you the respect you had given her.

You both move back to your corner of the ring and within seconds, the bell rings to signal the start of the first round. You move closer to the middle of the ring, seeing her do the same as you keep your hands close to your face. She delivers several low kicks that take you a while to check, your leading leg beginning to throb in pain.

“Check those kicks!” You hear Benny yell from your corner of the octagon. It’s taking you a while to get the groove of things, still bouncing on your toes. You notice the woman has a habit of dropping her hands every time she kicks you and you know that you just need to time it right.

Your leg is beginning to bruise and it’s becoming a bit difficult to stand on it, so you switch stances to southpaw, keeping most of your weight on your right leg now.

“Come on!”

“Just end the fight already!”

“She’s not even that good!”

You can hear the crowd and it only fuels you even further. You try to remember Benny’s training, try to remember your best friend’s teachings, and they both had told you to be patient. The right moment will present itself.

There’s fifteen seconds left in the first round and so far, you know you’re losing. You’ve only thrown a few punches that haven’t landed. You can hear Benny screaming, begging for you to just do something instead of standing there and taking the hits that you don’t need to take.

The woman puts more pressure and backs you into the corner of the octagon. She clinches her hands around your neck, pulling you close enough to deliver a knee to your abdomen. It hits you straight in your core, knocking the wind out of you that you drop to your knees, falling backwards just as soon as the round ends.

You stand up slowly, walking towards your corner and sit on the seat that Benny sets down for you. You’re breathing heavily and it hurts, dripping with sweat as your abdomen begins to bruise and throb in addition to your left leg.

“You’re losing,” Benny says, lifting the bottle of water to your lips to give you a gulp. “You said you wanted this. You said you wanted to fight. What the hell is goin’ on?!”

You shake your head, tightening your jaw as you keep your eyes straight ahead, focused on the other woman and her team.

“Those kicks–” you begin. “I’m sorry, Benny. I’ll do better. I’ll finish it in this round.”

“That’s a bit presumptuous.”

You stand up from the seat, even with twenty seconds of rest left. “She drops her hands when she delivers a kick, Benny. I’m trying to find an opening.”

“You’re gonna get your ass kicked just waiting for something to happen. Be proactive. You know you’re fast. You know you’ve got the power. I know you can win this fight. Do you?”

You nod and look up at Benny. “Yes, I do.”

“Then fuckin’ win!”

The referee waves in your direction, signaling that the next round is about to begin. Benny looks down at you and his eyes soften for a moment.

“You can do this,” he says. “Believe in yourself.”

You nod and begin to bounce on your toes, the pain you’re feeling taking a backseat as you stare at the other woman with a tightened jaw and narrowed eyes.

Then, the bell rings and the second round begins.

The other woman rushes towards you and you use your footwork to easily move away from her punches. You see her leg begin to lift and her hands drop. This is your moment. You deliver a quick jab that connects with her face and she stumbles backward. It isn’t enough to drop her, so you push forward.

“There you go!” Benny exclaims. “Just a 1-2! She felt that!”

You remain focused, delivering just a simple 1-2 punch that continues to connect with her face. You step back to give you enough space to deliver a high kick to her right side, seeing her drop her hands to block the kick which gives you an opening to deliver a hard left hook across her chin.

You put as much strength as you could behind the hook, hearing the sound of your glove connecting with her chin echo throughout the building. She falls immediately on her back and you quickly scramble to mount her. Her arms cover her face as you just begin to ground and pound, delivering hammer fists to her face.

Then, you feel the referee come between the both of you, waving his hands in the air to stop the fight.

You won. Holy shit, you won!

Benny runs inside of the octagon and lifts you up, cheering and laughing. “You did it!” The rest of the guys rush inside as well, staring at you with excited eyes and grins.

The other woman finally stands up and the referee holds each of your wrists, waiting for the announcer to announce you as the winner. Once your hand is raised in the air, you feel tears threatening to spill over. The other woman comes to you and reaches out to give you a one-armed hug.

“Great job,” she says. “That was a great fight.”

“I’m sure my leg is gonna hurt like hell for the next few days,” you say with a slight smile.

The other woman chuckles and nods, turning around to walk out of the octagon with her team.

You turn around and look at Benny, Will, Santiago, and Frankie. Seeing them stare at you with smiles finally makes the dam break and tears begin to trickle down your cheeks. Benny’s the first one to pull you into a hug, holding you so tight that it provides the comfort you didn’t know you needed.

“Your best friend would be proud,” he whispers and it only makes you cry even harder. He and the rest of the guys lead you out of the octagon, hearing the applause and cheers from the crowd as you begin to make your way back to the locker room.

—

After your fight - and after freshening up and taking a shower - you meet the guys at the local bar that they normally frequent. You’re limping slightly, the bruise on your left leg a painful reminder of the leg kicks you endured during the fight. With each breath, you feel your side twinge with pain from the knee your opponent delivered at the end of the first round.

You keep your hair down and past your shoulders, dressed in a black slip dress that reaches past your knees and sandals. You’re glad that your face didn’t take much damage, but you’re sure that your body is going to be in a lot more pain tomorrow.

Tonight, you feel like you can celebrate… But also because you didn’t want to be alone.

Stepping into the bar, you see the four men in a booth in the corner and they spot you immediately. Their eyes slightly widen at the sight of you and you can’t help but let out a quiet chuckle, your cheeks heating up at the way they’re looking at you.

“You clean up nice,” Benny chuckles.

“I’m not in spandex shorts and a shirt, drenched in sweat,” you tease, sliding into the booth next to Frankie.

“You look great,” Frankie blurts out.

“Thank you, Frankie,” you say quietly, looking over at him.

Santiago, Will, and Benny look between the both of you and arch a brow before the three of them stand up to walk towards the bar. “First round will be on me,” Will says. “What can we get for you?”

“Glass of white wine, please,” you answer.

When the three of them leave, there’s an uncomfortable and awkward silence that fills the air between you and Frankie. He scoots closer to the inside of the booth to give you some space and he lifts the glass of beer to his lips.

“You were great out there tonight,” he finally says.

“I got my ass handed to me in the first round.”

Frankie chuckles. “But you didn’t give up and you came back in the second round.”

“Guess you can call it luck.”

“It wasn’t luck.”

You shrug and look down at your hands. “I just saw an opening and took it.”

“You work hard and it paid off,” Frankie says.

“Trying to,” you mumble. “It’s been hard.”

Frankie leans forward, elbows resting on the table as he looks over at you. “Benny mentioned your best friend…” he begins quietly, eyeing you to make sure that he wasn’t overstepping any boundaries. When he realizes you weren’t going to stop him and change the subject, he continues. “I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Even six months later, that phrase still frustrates you. Even though it’s meant as a way to offer condolences, it’s never brought you any comfort.

“Yeah,” you shrug.

“I didn’t mean to–”

“It’s fine,” you interrupt. “I try not to think about it, about him.”

Frankie nods. “You know, all four of us are prior military. Special Forces.”

“Really?” you ask, brows arching. You didn’t know that, but it does explain how close and tight knit they are.

Frankie nods again. “We lost one of our buddies a couple of years ago. There used to be five of us and now,” he sighs. “Anyway, I just– If you ever need anyone to talk to, we’re all willing to listen.”

“You ever get through it?” You ask. “It’s been six months and I feel… Stuck.”

Frankie shrugs. “You just learn how to deal with it. Learn how to live life without them.”

“But what if you can’t?” you say quietly. “What if you aren’t sure how to deal with it? How to live life without them? Then what?”

Frankie sighs. “I don’t know,” he answers honestly. “Would your best friend want you to move forward? Would he want you to be happy?”

“I don’t know. I can’t ask him.” You sigh quietly and gently reach out to rest a hand on Frankie’s arm, feeling the muscles flex underneath your fingertips. “I’m sorry. I don’t–”

“Don’t worry about it,” Frankie says softly, reaching over to rest a hand over your own. “We all deal with it in our own way. I hope you know, though, that we’re all here for you.” He looks into your eyes, staring deeply. “I’m here for you.”

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal character #garrett hedlund #garrett hendlund character #oscar isaac character #oscar isaac #charlie hunnam character #charlie hunnam #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier fanfic #will ironhead miller #santiago pope garcia #benny miller #frankie cat #story: chance encounters

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seidenbros · 1 year

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I need boyfriend!Steve to comfort me. Really. I'm struggling with my depression lately and it's being really hard to cope on my own. Just imagining this sweet guy being comprehensive and patient during my crisis, holding me tight and saying that everything's gonna be alright actually calms me down 😔

Hello, love! I'm really sorry that you're struggling with your depression so I am sending hugs and love and hot chocolate your way. I really hope you can get some comfort from this, even though it's more of a blurb than an actual fic 💚💚 Wordcount: 1027 Warnings/Tags: established relationship, fluff,angst, talks about depression, sweet and caring Steve Harrington, gn reader

Just Take My Hand

A soft touch to your shoulder, but you only curled in on yourself more, squeezing your eyes shut. Steve was seated at the edge of the bed, watching you while he pulled his hand back. He knew you pretended to be asleep, but weren’t really. You were always more relaxed when you were sleeping, not snoring, but he could always hear the soft intake of breath. Evenly breathing, your chest rising and falling, your lips often pursed… He loved it, loved watching you sleep, because he knew that you were at ease then - except for when you had a nightmare or a spicy dream, then it was different, but nothing like that was the case right now. You were pretending to sleep to not bother him with everything that was going on in your head.

You felt him get up again and once the door fell shut, you lifted your head to see if he was really gone. When your depression pulled you down, you really didn’t want to lay that on Steve. He’d suffered enough and didn’t need you to add to his worries, so you tried your best to deal with it yourself, even though you knew that it wasn’t the best way to cope.

With a sigh, you turned onto your side again, hugging the pillow tight that smelled like Steve. Sure, you could just ask him to come and cuddle with you, but something held you back, even though you knew that it would help you, that it would make your own worries subside at least a little bit. But you stayed right where you were.

You had no idea how much time had passed when the door opened again. The smell of fresh food filled your nose, making your stomach growl. No breakfast and no lunch did that to you, but you hadn’t been able to eat anything at all, hadn’t even realised how hungry you were.

The bed dipped behind your again, announcing Steve, before you could feel his arms wrap around your middle. He pulled you back against his chest, nuzzling his nose into the back of your neck, inhaling deeply.

“I know you’re awake,” he mumbled, lifting his head slowly again, leaning his head against yours, arms squeezing around you momentarily. You stiffened automatically, but your body relaxed again when his lips ghosted over your throat. “And I gave you some time, but I can’t keep watching you like this. So, will you please come with me?”

“Steve…” Digging your teeth into your bottom lip, you tried your best to keep from crying.

“Hun, you need to eat something and I cooked your favourite. If nothing of what I have downstairs is appealing to you… I’ll let you get back to bed, okay?”

“Okay…” Your voice was quiet, almost defeated, but you knew that he only meant well, and that he’d leave you here alone if that was what you really wanted. But Steve was right, you needed something to eat, and you were actually curious about what he had downstairs.

“Thank you!” A gentle smile lit up his face when you turned around to look at him, making the corners of your lips twitch up slightly as well. He always had that effect on you, always calmed you, always made you feel more at ease.

With Steve holding your hand, you walked down the stairs, but the table wasn’t set, which was a bit confusing.

“Over there,” Steve said, redirecting your eyes to the living room. It wasn’t normal that you ate in front of the TV, so it surprised you that he’d set up everything there, including a stack of movies. When you stepped closer, you could see that he’d gotten all your favourite movies, no matter how much he always said he didn’t enjoy them, lots of chocolate and he’d really cooked your favourite food.

“Look,” Steve starts, letting go of your hand and stepping in front of you, tilting your head back with his fingers on your chin so you have to look at him. “You don’t have to talk or tell me anything, alright? But I’m here if you need me, and I will distract you if that’s what you need. I will-”

You stopped him with your lips on his, because your heart burst with love for this man. But that moment also made the flood gates open, so you tasted your own tears on your lips.

“Hey…. it’s okay,” he mumbled, his right hand carefully cradling your face to make you look up at him, eyes brimming with tears. “I’m right here and whatever it is, we’ll manage it together, alright?”

“It’s just…” you whispered, hiccuping right afterwards, which stopped you from going on with what you wanted to say.

“It’s all a bit much at the moment, hm?” His thumb rubbed back and forth over your cheek, soothing you, and you felt yourself leaning into his touch, giving just the slightest of nods.

“C’mere,” he whispered into your hair, wrapping his arms around you to squeeze you tight. He held you like this for some time, your nose against the crook of his neck, taking deep breaths, while his hands slowly rubbed up and down your back.

“Everything is gonna be alright, hun,” Steve said, only pulling back enough to look into your eyes. He detached one hand from your back to brush away the tears. “We’ll manage this together, alright? Whatever it is, I’m not gonna let you face your demons alone.” He leaned forward again to press his lips to your forehead.

“Thank you…” you whispered into his chest, taking another deep breath.

“Anything for you.” He gave you another squeeze before he led you to the sofa, settled you between his legs before he reached for the plate. He actually helped you eat as well, figuring that you were completely worn out, but at least you were relaxing, because you knew that Steve meant every word he’d said, that he wouldn’t leave you alone, that he’d do everything he could to help you. But he was already doing that, and that was why you loved him even more.

@goldenkinglouis

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve x reader #steve x you #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington fic #stranger things #stranger things x you #stranger things x reader #steve harrington x gn!reader #staffi writes

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doumadono · 4 months

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Hello, dear writer!

I am so sorry to bother you but I have an Emergency Request.

For the past few months I am under a big stress. I just go trought some challenge in my life that isn't easy for me... Recently I noticed that I picked a not so great habit of... Ripping the dry skin off my lips... I do it no matter if it hurts, if my lips bleed or if I have visible scabs later on.

I do have history or harming myself so I think it's this mixed of both stress and the self hate.

Could you maybe do a fic with Nanmi, noticing his girlfriend doing this to herself and him trying to somehow stop her and comfort her.

I'd love some comfort.

Thank you, all the best wishes and lots of kisses for you! 🦈❤️

The inner peace - Nanami x Reader

A/N: I'm saddened to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It's important to prioritize your well-being. Instead of tearing at your lips, consider finding healthier outlets for stress, like deep breathing exercises, journaling, or even talking to someone you trust. Taking small steps can make a big difference

JUJUTSU KAISEN EMERGENCY REQS

Amidst the quiet hum of their shared apartment, Nanami could feel a subtle shift in the air. The once vibrant atmosphere had given way to a somber undercurrent, and it didn't escape his keen perception. The rhythmic sound of pages turning was interrupted by a soft, almost imperceptible sound — his girlfriend's lips parting in a sigh.

Nanami lowered his book, fixing his gaze on the woman sitting across from him. Your eyes, usually brimming with vitality, now held a shadow that hadn't been there before. He observed the subtle telltale signs — a nervous twitch of your fingers, a hesitant glance, and the undeniable evidence on your lips.

You sat there, absently peeling away at the dry skin, as if trying to shed a layer of the stress that had settled upon your shoulders.

Nanami closed his book and placed it on the table, a quiet acknowledgment of the moment that demanded his attention. "Hey," he spoke softly, choosing his words with care. "Mind if I join you for a moment?"

Her gaze met yours, a mixture of surprise and vulnerability. You nodded, and Nanami shifted in his seat, moving closer to you. "Everything okay?" he inquired, though he already sensed the answer.

You hesitated, as if debating whether to share the burden you carried.

Nanami waited patiently.

Finally, you spoke, the words tumbling out like fragile confessions. "I don't know, Nanami. I've been stressed, and I picked up this habit. It's like... I can't stop, even if it hurts."

He regarded you with a thoughtful expression. "It's okay. We all have our ways of coping. But this," he gestured towards your lips, "isn't a solution. Let me help."

Nanami reached out, gently taking your hand to still the anxious fingers that continued their relentless assault. His touch was warm, a soothing balm to the invisible wounds you carried. As he delicately intertwined your fingers, he spoke with a measured calmness. "You don't have to face everything alone. I'm here for you, remember? Whenever you feel low, you can come to me and pour your sadness out."

You met his gaze, the vulnerability in your eyes mirrored in his own. For a moment, you simply sat there, connected by the unspoken promise of support. You hesitated for a moment, uncertainty lingering in the air like an unspoken truth. "It's just stress, I guess," you admitted, your voice a fragile whisper. "And I don't want to be a burden to you."

"You don't deserve to hurt yourself," Nanami remarked, his words carrying a quiet determination. "Let me help you carry the burden. You're not alone in this."

"But you have a lot of your own stuff to deal with..." You argued.

"Let me help you," he demanded, reaching for a small container on the nightstand. The lid unscrewed with a soft click, revealing a soothing lip balm. Nanami dipped his fingers into the balm, the delicate fragrance filling the air as he applied it gently to your lips. The act was tender, a symbol of care and healing, each stroke a promise to mend what had been broken. "This might help," he said, his touch lingering as he met your gaze with a sincerity.

"You didn't get it, Kento!" Your voice trembled with a mixture of frustration and self-doubt. "I didn't want to be a bother. I didn't want you to worry about me. I thought I should be able to handle this on my own."

"You weren't a bother," he insisted, his voice calm but resolute. "Your well-being mattered to me. I want to be there for you, through the good and the bad."

You shook your head, the weight of your internal struggles evident in the lines that etched across your forehead. "But I thought I should be strong enough to handle this alone, just like you are..."

Nanami sighed, a soft exhale that carried the weight of understanding. "Strength isn't about facing everything alone. It's about recognizing when you need support and having the courage to seek it."

A conflicted expression played on your features as you wrestled with your own convictions. "I just…"

Nanami reached for your hands, a gentle squeeze emphasizing his sincerity. "You are more than enough. But that doesn't mean you have to face everything alone. We all need someone to lean on, and I want to be that someone for you."

Tears welled in your eyes, a silent acknowledgment of the vulnerability you had tried so hard to conceal. "I just didn't want you to see me as weak."

Nanami's thumb brushed away a tear that escaped, his touch gentle but firm. "Vulnerability doesn't equate to weakness. It takes strength to open up, to let someone in."

You sighed, a mixture of defeat and acceptance lingering in the air. "I'm sorry."

Nanami's expression softened, his gaze unwavering. "You will never be a burden, and you don't disappoint me. I care about you. Please, don't apologize. But the next time you feel low, just come and talk to me. I am not a mind reader after all," he joked lightly.

In the quiet moments that followed, the weight of the conversation lingered, and without uttering another word, you found solace in the warmth of Nanami's presence. "Thank you," you whispered, a simple phrase carrying the weight of genuine appreciation. "For always being so caring, for being there when I needed it the most."

#emergency request #jujitsu kaisen #nanami x reader #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #jjk x you #nanami x you #nanami kento jjk #nanami kento imagine #nanami kento x you #nanami kento x reader #jjk imagine #jjk fluff #nanami fluff

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