#I mean he has high expectations for me im too anxious to actually do that

[chocominnie]

One Last Time 04  —  Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Previous : 00 01 02 03

⇢ Word Count : 4.7k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

Last night can’t get out of your mind. It’s not like you to do such a dumb thing. Kissing Jimin... you didn’t know what had gotten into you last night. The last thing you’d ever want to do is have someone go through the same thing you did with Jimin when he had cheated on you. Your mind raced all night thinking if that kiss, that one sole kiss, would make you the bad guy? Make this whole situation worse? 

Wrong.

Both of you were vulnerable and just not the same. Of course you’re still tender to the subject of and about him, and forever will have have a soft spot for Jimin. You didn’t expect that to happen though. 

‘‘ Yes.. Yes.. Okay.. I understand.”

You drone on for the millionth time today. Only 9 am and calls are making their way to you. You’ve been caught. Someone spotted you and Jimin last night walking to your apartment. Luckily the pictures were only garage scenes of you and him. Jimin’s head hanging low trailing a distance behind you while you hold your sore arm. Thankfully, by the looks of the new articles every damn hour, they think that you had hurt yourself and Jimin was supposedly there for you for comofort.

The fanpages are going to have a field day with that.

Your manager continues to lecture you about how this could start a scandal, how you should of been more careful, and finally that those words everyone has told you before. He wasn’t good to you, move on.

‘‘ Listen im just going to be with Ryan today and she’s bringing Jungkook. We are heading over to Ryan’s office to discuss things and what not.’‘ You sigh into the phone, wanting to hang up already.

Your manager on the other line is hesitant for you to go, but gives in once you say you’ll only be an hour in and out. That’s the only way you’ll get to go out today. Whenever small scandals like this brew up, the management company would make you stay low for the next three days. 

You both say your goodbyes and then hang up. Finally. Somewhere in the room Clara lets out one of her tiny meows making you smile to yourself. The day planned ahead is way more exciting than you worrying to yourself

‘‘ Baby please. I have to go’‘

Isabel smirks lowly while shaking her head. Jimin watches her intensively as her hands roam all around his now bare chest, that was covered with a shirt two minutes ago.

‘‘ Jimin, you and I both know that we haven’t had much time to ourselves lately.’‘

Her dainty fingertips trace over his forming abs one by one staring him straight in the eyes. He bites his lip hard just before letting out a useless groan with his head thrown back in the chair. It’s true. With all the celebrity show appearances they’ve had, the quality time together has been cut short.

He ries to pry her hands away from his jeans but it’s no use. “ I have to leave, Jungook wants me at Ryan’s office in twenty minutes.”

Her face turns into a pout, lifting her hands from his jeans.  ‘’ So he’s more important than your girlfriend?’’

‘‘ Well I mean he is my blood broth- Fuck!’’

It’ was quick enough to where he didn’t feel it coming. Before he knew it, his jeans were unbuttoned and her mouth glides across the imprint of his shaft hiding behind his boxers. “ We can stop and you can leave.. if you want..” She knows exactly what shes doing by making sure her voice is low and those round eyes meeting his. 

His groans only become louder when she takes a long, slow lick from the base to the tip. There’s no way on hell he’ll miss this opportunity to get some head. Jimin’s craving for sex has been high lately and with no time to recieve pleasure, he damn sure wasn’t gonna let up this offer. “ Fuck that. Keep going my love.”

Grabbing a fistful of Isabel’s hair, he yanks his boxers down revealing his thick, hard member hat springs up to his belly button. Isabel smirks at him just before taking the whole thing down her throat making Jimin moan out louder in pleasure. The sound of sucking, wet noises fill the studio’s ambiance.

Jimin watches her intensely while letting out low groans and growls as her bobbing head becomes quicker. This isn’t what he wants truly.  What he wants is you. You is who he wishes who’d be pleasuring him right now. The way you’d sometimes gag on him when his dick filled your mouth completely was something he’d always enjoyed seeing. The way your eyes water with him stuffed in your mouth but determined to go on was a major turn on for him. He wants you and only you. Right now in this moment Isabel doesn’t mean shit to him but you do. 

He can’t help but to lean back in his chair and close his eyes waiting to chase his high, all with the thoughts of you and your guises past sexual encounters turning him on even more with the lost track of time in the back of his mind.

You on the other hand, wait with Jungkook and Ryan who are getting a bit anxious waiting for the boy’s arrival. You of course didn’t want him to come. It’ll only make things more complicated than it is right now. Essentially you were going to leave when Jungkook said he’d be inviting Jimin.. yet again. 

Seeing as though when you were on your way to the office, you had glanced at the clouds and could see a big thunderstorm brewing. You’d rather not take your chances of being rained on while walking back to your apartment.

‘‘ Geez where is this guy? He’s always late ever since he’s been with Isa-”

A shove by Ryan shuts him right up before finishing his sentence. Ryan gives him a glare and a few utters of words to him before turning back to the giant window that gazes over the bright nightlife of Seoul.

One part of you wishes for Jimin not to actually show up but the other does. Just to see his face and reaction too you ever since yesterday. But just for the sake of it, you won’t bring it up. Play it off like it never happened.

‘‘ Was it really necessary for us to come at night? We couldn’t of just come during the day?’’ Jungkook says, walking over to her.

He snakes his arms around his waist placing gentle butterfly kisses around her neck. The reflection off the mirror shows her facial expression, a slight smile as they sway from side to side. A ping of happiness shoots through you at the sight of them. It reminds you of you and Jimin. That happiness quickly shuts down.

You smile to yourself, “Well i’m a model, Jungkook and his brother are idols, and you’re an upcoming fashion designer dating said Idol. ”

Jungkook clears his throat before placing his arm gently around Ryan, “ Yeah she’s MY girlfriend.’’ He says proudly. Ryan shakes her head while playfully rolling her eyes. 

You giggle along with her. It’s only been a short while since he’s asked her and he seems so happy and proud with her. Something you wish that Jimin wouldn’t have ruined for you two.

‘‘ Nobody knows we are dating and If paparazzi catches you coming to my office it’s going to stir up something rather it be little or not.’‘ Ryan sighs, sitting down next to you on the white couch.

Jungkook pauses to be silent for a second but continues on, “ That would happen regardless because paparazzi comes out at any time of day. We just so happen not to get caught.’’

Your frail hands begin to play with the sleeve of your shirt at the wrists. Something you do when anxious but trying to keep calm. You’re starting to get annoyed with this couple talk. You’re happy for them but rubbing it in is starting to hurt a bit. Where is he at?

‘‘ You know what im tired of waiting. If he comes he comes. If he doesn’t oh well we already knew he’s an asshole because of that girl now.” Ryan scoffs.

She folds her arms as she leans onto Jungkook who’s now sitting on the arm of the couch. He chuckles at her pouting and sudden anger just before giving her a kiss on the forehead.

You take in the sight of them. Two love birds that mean the world to each other. You wouldn’t dare want nor try to break them up. You knew Jungkook has been waiting for that moment to ask her. When he did on that day Ryan couldn’t of been even more happier.

And if as on cue, that familiar face comes in quietly with two large brown bags in his hands. You choose not to make eye contact with him when he stops infront of the couch, glancing at you.

‘‘ Im sorry im late. I bought food for us..” He pleads for forgiveness. If it was up to you then you wouldn’t have forgiven him. Hell, you still don’t want to forgive him for that act last night. Yet you can’t be a hypocrite because you’re just as guilty.

Jungkook takes the bags from him due to the way to familiar scent coming from them. Jajangmyeon. His favorite noodles of all time. A quick way to earn his forgiveness of anything.

‘‘ You are forgiven don’t let it happen again,”  He says, smiling ear to ear as he pulls out his serving of noodles.

Ryan hands you a pair of chopsticks and your serving of noodles. You thank her and look down at the bowl. If you did eat it that means you forgave him, if you didn’t that means you wont. Your mind doesn’t know which one to pick.

While everyone sits there talking amongst themselves you sit there with chopsticks in hand zoned out. You seen the hickies when he had came in. When he had tilted his head announcing his arrival, thats when you saw it peeking from under his scarf. that The dark bruises peaked up and back into hiding whenever he moved.

‘‘ You don’t like the noodles?” Jungkook says, taking a big bite of noodles then slurping them up.

Ryan gives you one of your guises code looks but you give one back to say you are fine. ‘’ Im sorry I was just zoned out.’’

You don’t engage on any of the conversation instead you sit there eating your noodles quietly until they’re gone. That is until the real reason why you are here is brought up.

‘‘ We are here because me and Jungkook have thought about you guys.” Ryan glances at the boy who’s now wiping his face free of sauce.

Great. When are people going to stop doing that though?

‘‘ Ryan come on now, I honestly don’t care. He’s happy with her and I am with myself. Im serious. Please stop thinking about things like this. Im happy can’t you see that! ‘‘ By this point you know you’re all worked up.

It isn’t the truth, but you just want everyone to stop worrying so you could move on. Bringing the whole situation up all the time is draining for you and you’d rather not be reminded of Jimin and what he does and how he’s doing.

Jimin keeps quite with a stare that’s intense on you. You stare right back at him with an emotionless expression. The both of your eyes never leave each-other but you knew it had hurt him. Saying that you’re fine but he knows you’re bothered a lot.

Jungkook sighs heavily, “Baby-Cheeks don’t get all upset now. We are just worried solely on you. Even Jimin is and we all came to an agreement to have this civil conversation right here and now because all of it needs to be addressed.”

You cock your head slightly to the side not leaving Jimin’s eyes. You knew for a fact that this entire conversation is his doing just by Jungkook saying that last sentence. 

“ I told you to stop worrying about me. I really meant it. I’m fine. I am F I N E .’’ You spell out the words, then shake your head clearly pissed off. 

‘‘ But you aren’t. You constantly lose focus and don’t talk as much. Im worried for you so much that it pains me to even see you like this.” Jimin bites his lips to prevent from breaking down. You know that expression all to well.

That still doesn’t mean he should be worrying about you. You two are no longer together and no matter how many times you scream it to the top of your lungs each time, nobody listens to you.

‘‘ I am fine. I promise you guys. I’ve just had a comeback and they set me on a strict diet for the next few months and I go to the gym more than I used to because that’s what us models do. Since I have been absent for a year now my break time is over. The reason I zone out is because I have a busy schedule and sleep is whenever I can get it so that makes me tired often. I am fine.”

Your explanation is partially true and you do feel bad for lying on some of the parts but knowing them they will keep doing whatever to make things right. It’s time for you and them to stop worrying about Jimin and your relationship with each other.

The group doesn’t say anything after that. You tried to keep the best serious tone you had to explain that to them. Luckily they fell through and believed it. All except Jimin.

‘‘ Now can we move on? Is everything okay now?”  You ask, looking at both Ryan and Jungkook. They both shake their head slowly still unsure of what to think.

‘‘ Well since that is over with, lets all take our leave yeah?” Ryan sighs, collecting everybody’s trash from the food. You nod your head and begin to help her while the boys go somewhere in the room to talk privately together.

You don’t care enough to want to know about what they’re saying. As long as they don’t bring anything of worriedness about you again then it’s okay. Soon after the room is all cleaned up you grab your coat and scarf. Jungkook grabs Ryan’s and helps her into hers, zipping it all the way up.

‘‘ My baby can’t catch a cold.” He giggles before placing a kiss on her forehead. Ryan turns a deep red in her cheeks as he continues to dress her properly for the snow outside.

‘‘ Can we talk privately again?’‘ A quite voice says behind you. You knew it all to well. But you don’t turn around at all while slipping your coat on.

‘‘ I’ve thought I made myself clear. I don’t need to say it again. Please just accept it.”  The maroon colored scarf is gently placed around you from behind.

You grab his hands to stop him but he’s quick enough to come in-front of you and begin to wrap it for you. “ You lied. You can fool them but not me.’’

You break his hands away from the scarf, making sure to glare at him before you storm out of the office. All of the pressure and just concern in general is getting to you. It’s not like you to get worked up to this point. You hate making scenes and you knew that when you left like that it’s going to spark more curiousness.

The heel of your black suede thigh high boots click down the hallway fast as tears feel the brim of your eyes. Why wont they just leave it be?

After taking the long way out and going down three flights of stairs from the emergency exit, you make it down to the lobby and out the rotating doors.

When you do you almost choke out a whimper at the sight at Jimin greeting Isabel with a hug in which she pulls him down to a deep passionate kiss while waiting in-front of his car.

He was just upstairs dressing you properly, but kissing on her a few minutes later. Typical Jimin.

You bite your lip hard enough for the taste of blood to fill your mouth to prevent from crying right then and there. You can’t show her any sign of weakness. This is what she wants you to do. Cry and breakdown in-front of her to gain victory. She can’t have it. She wont have it.

You slip your hands into the coat pockets and begin your journey down the street. Catching a taxi would be no use. The cold harsh wind mixing with the hard drops of rain feel euphoric but numb to you.

‘‘ What are you doing? You’ll catch a cold for walking in this type of weather!” A voice yells far from behind you.

You don’t bother to look back at him. You up your pace just by a little to get that voice far away from you as possible. He kissed you last night, but kissed her right infront of you. The lump in your throat is sore and your heart hurts with each step you take.  Is this how the game goes? It hurts. It hurts a lot. 

 The wind blows harsh and the rain blows on your face making your makeup wet but not smeared. The mascara running down your face doesn’t matter from your wet tears.

 The stop lights turn yellow, red, and then green a couple of times. You count the number of changes before walking past it. Three times total.

Yellow

Red

Green

then back again.

The thunder roars causing you to jump a bit, but you’re numb to any noise around you anyways. You sniffle repeatedly to stop your nose from running but why not just let it run? Why not just let everything go. Let yourself go. Yeah that sounds about right. Let yourself g-

The blackness of your vision is sudden. No chance to react when the sound disappears from it. To the ground your body goes, laying there in a puddle of water. Your eyes blink slowly when you wince in pain upon bringing your hand up to your head. Vision goes in and out, in and out. You can’t hear the disorted person above you screaming and shaking you just before blacking out again.

The look of horror on his face and adrenaline runs through his body as soon as your eyes close. He thinks it’s his fault. His fault for wanting to keep talking to you. His fault for kissing you last night. His fault for stressing you out to your limits for you to walk home instead of asking him for a ride.

Running his hand through his hair, he slowly picks up your limp body. He saw that fall, and that fall was hard. You slipped on a decent sized amount of a dirt and mud mixture from not paying attention. Tears roll down his eyes when he places you in the passenger seat to buckle your seatbelt where your chest rises up and down. A sign of life.

The ride to your house is hell for him. Constantly hitting the steering wheel out of anger from himself and crying loudly wishing for you to be fine and okay. The hospital wasn’t an option right now. If paparazzi saw him taking you in unconcious right after the small scandal, he’d be sure that he’d be on the news for the next two weeks for supposedly abusing you, which isn’t the case.

It doesn’t take him long to arrive, considering he was tokyo drifting through the streets of Seoul. Laying your body on your bed, he sees the bottom of your outfit is dirty with mud. At first he hesitates but keeping muddy clothes on you wouldn’t be right of him.

After picking out some sweatpants, he moves on to your hoodie collection and spots one in the back of the drawer folded into a ball. Jimin lets out a small laugh when he realizes its one of his. It must of ended up here in transit when packing from the old apartment.

Nevertheless, he decides it’s that one you’ll be wearing and not anyone of the others. When it comes time to undress you, he looks away when taking off your clothes and putting the new clothes on. He tucks you in when done, planting a small kiss on your forehead just before going to get an icepack for you to place it on your head.

The sound of cartoons playing in a distance wakes you up. Your eyes stir open until full view. The throbbing of your head makes you wince a little. You’re just as more confused as to when you made it into your apartment let alone your room.

‘‘ You’re awake?’‘

He places the icepack on the back of your head but when he goes to grab your hand to make you secure it, your heart skips a beat when his soft hand touches yours. It’s been a while since you last had his warm touch against yours. 

The thoughts in your head stops when he lets go of your now cold hand. ‘‘ Why are you here?”  You say, finally looking at him.

‘‘ You fell. You fell on a puddle of mud while crossing over to the next sidewalk.” He sighs, eyes staring at you with anger yet relief. Instead of fighting back for the sake of your throbbing head, you just look down.

Thats when you notice the new set of clothes on your body. You certainly weren’t wearing this hoodie before. In fact you knew for a fact that this particular hoodie was balled up in the back of your dresser drawer. It’s his. 

 “ You undressed me?” You yell, furrowing your eyebrows at him. You pull the cover closer up to your body out of embarassment but Jimin doesn’t care. He’s more worried about the fall than the undressing.

“ Do you fucking know how got damn worried I was?” Jimin walks over to you with his arms crossed and jaw clenching. You want to hide right about now. “You’re more worried about if I was a pervert or not but news flash, I didn’t even look at you while undressing you. I’m not the asshole you think I am.”  

Silence is golden.

‘‘ We all shouldn’t have been out there with a storm coming, but we came to the office for your sake. You keep putting yourself at risk, just stop!‘‘ He semi-yells at you. 

You know he’s correct but that doesn’t stop you from forming the lecture into an arguement.

‘‘ Risk? I don’t take risks unless necessary. I was just minding my business and walking home. I guess I wasn’t mindful for that the weather wasn’t suitable for walking. Thank you for tending to me.’’

The boy scoffs with a sarcastic smile on his face backing away from your bed. You close your eyes knowing you shouldn’t of said that. ‘‘ Wasn’t mindful? Really? Why can’t you just listen to me whenever I need you to?”

‘‘ You were with Isabel. I don’t have anything to do with your guys relationship at all. I didn’t want to seem like a threat to her. ‘‘

Jimin sighs and rubs his temples, ‘’ You know you’re hard headed right? Do you think I give a flying fuck if she was there or not? You health and you yourself are important to me. ‘’

Here we go again.

‘‘ I said don’t worr-’‘

Jimin raises up quickly with anger and sadness written all over his face, ‘’ I don’t care what you say. Fucking listen to me when I say so! I’m going to worry about you until the day I die and cannot breathe anymore! Accept it okay?’’ He semi- yells, chest heaving up and down fast.

You keep your eyes away from his. You knew it would happen. You knew he would blow up somehow today.

‘‘ Im not going to accept it. Want to know why? I’m not your girlfriend anymore. I have to accept the fact that you no longer are in a relationship with me Jimin. You need to too.’‘

Jimin sighs, pacing back in forth across the wooden floor while running his fingers through his hair repeatedly, “ I was hoping it wouldn’t have to be like this. I’m not letting it happen anymore. From now on I will be checking on you everyday. Understand?’’

‘‘ No I don-”

‘‘ Understand?’‘ He growls, head whipping towards your direction.

There it goes. Pissed off Jimin. The side of his dominance that he dares anyone to overpower.

‘‘ Jimin you cannot come he-”

He shoots you a glare wanting his question answered now. You bite your lip making sure to shut the fuck up at this point. Anything you say after you know would do damage. ‘‘ Do you. Fucking. Understand?’‘

You nod your head. When he becomes like this there isn’t any way to stop him or change his mind.

‘‘ Good. Im not leaving for the night.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “Woah Jimin. Okay that’s too far. That’s considered cheating on Isabel.”

‘‘ It’s not. Not if im not with her anymore.’‘

Your heart jumps at those words. Not with her anymore?

‘‘ You honestly didn’t have to break up with her for me.”

You know you’d honestly feel very bad, but not as bad because she honestly deserves it for being a homewrecker. Then again, what does that make you?

‘‘ We technically are on a break. Im planning to break up with her in a couple of days.” He says, turning the blaring hot heater that was turned on prior to you waking up, onto it’s low settings.

You decide that’s enough of questions and to just enjoy his company there while it lasts. Putting the cover back down, you pick up your phone from the nightstand. A few texts from your manager, a missed call from Ryan. By the looks of it they both don’t know what happened and that somehow relieves you. 

Looking back up at him, you notice him turned around about to take off his shirt. His back muscles are evident and flex whenever he moves. You miss those. The way they’d feel under your hands and nails when he used to be ontop of you giving you the best nights of your life.

You hadn’t known he had turned around because you’re too deep in thought recalling those nights. “ Im assuming you like what you see?”

So you’ve been caught. “ No. Put your shirt back on.” Its a lie but you can’t admit to daydreaming about him.

‘‘ Hush im just changing into new clothes.’‘

You watch him go to your bottom left dresser and it all clicks to you. Back when you both shared an apartment Jimin kept extra clothing for emergencies always in the left bottom drawer.

You don’t know why, but you felt that it was tradition to put his extra clothing inside the bottom left drawer when you moved into here. Jimin had left the box of emergency clothing, on accident, with you as the both of you moved out.

When things had arrived here and you started unpacking you had seen what was inside the box. Instead of calling him to retrieve it, you just placed them in the bottom left drawer of your dresser in case something had ever happened where he was in need.

And that scenario just so happened to play out today.

You close your eyes as he casually slips his pants off in front of you. You want to peak but choose not to. ‘‘ Why are you covering your eyes? You’ve seen all of me before.”

And you want to see it all again.

‘‘ Yeah whatever. Im sleepy.’‘

 You rub your eyes and let out a quite yawn. You can feel his eyes staring into you so you turn to face him while getting comfortable under the covers.

Jimin turns out the lights first and then the t.v. Pitch black just how you like it.

‘‘ I forgot how cute you can be.’‘ He shakes his head, pulling you closer to him to where you’re laying on his chest with his arms wrapped around you.

His heartbeat is relaxing to you. So relaxing that soon enough, the both of you are fast asleep tangled in each-others love.

Once again, you fell for his sweet-talking and little white lies. All because you want another chance, one last time.

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[kimnjss]

teach me | myg

⤑ series: be my baby

⤑ pairing: rapper!yoongi x mom!reader

⤑ genre: fluff 

⤑ rating: PG13.

⤑ word count: 5.6K

⤑ warnings: there aren’t any, oop.

⤑ A/N: hello im here, lmao. this was supposed to be on time, but i slept for way longer than i planned... nd then i got lazy, so yeah. i hope you enjoy it, tho!! x

APRIL 26TH, 2020 | 11:18

The elevator doors close as she steps out, long dark hair tied nicely at the top of her head, the curled ends tickling the back of her satin top. The same short woman that had entered your house freely arms full of boxes of clothing Yoongi had bought for Hyunki. Her smile lights up her whole face, perfectly straight white teeth gleaming it almost pulls attention from the endearing dimple at the corner of her lips.

Waving widely when she spots you, lazily dressed in a pair of jeans that just so happened to be clean, a sweatshirt that you were sure belonged to Jungkook or Taehyung at one point. A complete contrast to her well put together attire, she probably had all the time in the world to match her shirt with her form-fitting skirts.

She's bending at the waist after acknowledging you with a sweet smile, now eye level with Hyunki who has not stopped scowling since you were unbuckling his car seat. It was safe to say, he wasn't in the best of moods.

With having to say goodbye to Joon last night and the fact he wanted pancakes for breakfast and you tried your hardest to make it the way 'Kookie-Hyung' did but failed. The fit he threw over that slowly dwindled into the silent treatment (something he was becoming very fond of). He didn't speak a word to you until you were taking him out of the car.

And that was only to tell you that he could walk on his own.

Now, though, with this strange woman in front of him; he's shifting closer to you. Tiny fist clutching at the fabric of your jeans. “Hi! You must be Hyunki?” She says brightly, reaching out for a handshake – like actually offering her hand out to a three-year-old. You hold back the urge to roll your eyes.

Hyunki eyes her palm for a moment, pondering what she expects him to do with it – no bout. Before he's dragging his eyes up to her face, realizing just how close she is to him. He takes a step back.

“We don't have to stand this close,” You detect the attitude in his voice and normally you'd be reminding him of his manners. Especially with people older than him. But the kid had a point, there was no reason for her to be in his face like that. 

Clearing her throat, slight embarrassment flashes through her eyes she stands. Straightening her shirt on her body. “I'm Jiso, by the way. Yn, right?” She tries, offering her hand out to you.

And you take it, pushing a smile onto your lips as you nod your head. “Where's Yoongi?” Lifting a bit on your tiptoes you peek over her shoulder as if he'd appear if you looked hard enough.

“Oh! He's on his way down. I just wanted to come say hi,” Her eyes shift back down to Hyunki, to find he's become fascinated with one of the toys he managed to smuggle out of the house. “They look so much alike,” Jiso seems in awe by her own words, by the fact a son could actually look like his father.

This time you're actually rolling your eyes, out of habit. It's subtle and automatic and if she notices it she doesn't say anything. The moment grows stale, awkward. She's shifting on her feet, looking between you and Hyunki with that smile on her face and you're considering scooping him up and going to wait for Yoongi in the car.

As if he had sensed your distress, Yoongi is stepping off the elevator with a hustle. The corners of his lips lifting until he's full-blown grinning as his eyes shift from you to Hyunki who has cracked his first smile since this morning.

“What's up, buddy?” Without a moment of hesitation, Yoongi is crouching down and lifting Hyunki off of the ground. He's curling into his side instantly, head falling on his shoulder as his eyes flutter closed. “Did he not sleep well last night?” His words directed to you, while Jiso stands on the sidelines – listening.

“He's in a bad mood. Joon left last night and he had a hard morning.” You don't miss the way his head lifts at the mention of Namjoon, on high alert now. Fully tapped into the conversation.

Quickly, you go over the 'need knows' for the day. The schedule Hyunki's on and certain things that calm him down. Signs that he's anxious or upset. Ways to avoid a meltdown. Yoongi nods along, taking the information you're giving him all while bouncing Hyunki on his side.

Jiso watching with hearts in her eyes the entire time. You're positive the girl hasn't blinked since Yoongi was stepping off the elevator. “Daddy's gonna get you something yummy for lunch, how does that sound?” Yoongi speaks softly to the little boy in his arms, who only nods – not pulling his attention from his toy.

“Call me if you need anything, okay?” He turns his head only for a moment to grant you a nod. “Don't worry too much, okay?” There's teasing in his tone and it's obvious he's noticed your reluctance.

Not that you had any problem leaving Hyunki with him, of course not – Yoongi was his dad and you wanted them to spend as much time together as they possibly could. You just knew how Hyunki was when he was grumpy, not wanting things to get out of hand where Yoongi was overwhelmed.

Yoongi overwhelmed was much like Hyunki grumpy. A mess.

Poking a gentle finger at his shoulder to let him know you mean business, “Call me.” You repeat. Turning your attention to Hyunki, your hand gently grasping his cheeks to pucker his lips. There's smile in his eyes despite the way he tries to fight it, still mad at you.

Standing this close, Yoongi can't help but admire you. The gentle slope of your nose, long lashes that dust over the tops of your cheeks. Cheeks bones that seem much more defined than he remembered. Jaw much more angled. Grown-up.

“I love you. I love you. And I love you.” A baby kiss sealing each confession that has your son grinning at the end of it. “You're gonna listen to daddy today, right? Who's the boss?”

Reluctant to say it, he rolls his big eyes before huffing out, “Mister Yoobi.” Had rehearsed it all of yesterday when you were first telling him that he'd be spending all day today with Yoongi.

“Good boy. Stay with daddy. And I'll come get you later?” He's nodding his head with a small smile, cheek finding Yoongi's shoulder as you lean down to press a kiss to his soft cheek. A tiny wave bye, before you're turning to leave – only to be stopped by the grasp on your elbow.

Yoongi gently dragging you back and he's got that look on his face. One that you're all too familiar with, could point it out in a lineup. The glint in his eye, the smirk on his lips. “Does daddy get a kiss too?” Voice gruff, words mumbled only for you.

Despite the rapid heating up of your cheeks, your eyes roll. “No,” Easily wiggling from his grasp before you're turning your attention back to Hyunki. “Goodbye. I love you.” You repeat with a grin, pressing a kiss to his forehead before stepping back.

He watches you until you're ducking into your car, rolling the window down to wave obnoxiously before driving off.

“Mommy should give Daddy kisses too, don't you think, Hyunki?” Yoongi's asking while handing over his son's backpack to Jiso, who had patiently been waiting for the couple moment to be over.

With a shrug of his shoulder, Hyunki continues fooling around with the toy in his hand. “She probably ran out.” The deadpan tone of his voice, a less mature version of the voice Yoongi uses when he's not interested in something. Like to the T.

“She can give me kisses and you kisses, Hyunki. They're different kisses, so she should have enough.” Now joined by his two bodyguards, Yoongi heads toward the back doors with his son in his arms.

Hyunki lets out a huff, pausing for a moment to eye the men that are now following him and his dad. He recognizes them as the ones who brought his gifts, so he's turning his attention back to Yoongi. “Mommy can give me kisses, duh. And Joonie too. So not enough.”

A stutter in his steps and a sideways glance to his son. Surprise written on his features, not expecting the familiar matter-of-fact tone to come out of such a small little human. Yoongi can't fight the laugh that falls from his lips, eyes rolling at his son's words.

“What do you want to eat?”

Hyunki is perking up instantly, eyes going wide. “Cheesecake!” He shouts with a raise of his little arms. With a laugh, Yoongi is nodding and securing him into his brand new car seat before sliding in the back beside him.

A bodyguard blocking Hyunki from the window and the other sat in the front seat. Leaning back against his seat, with his arms crossed over his chest, Yoongi gets comfortable as his driver pulls out of the parking space.

“Cheesecake Factory.” He directs, the smile on his face growing as Hyunki happily claps his hands.

APRIL 26TH, 2020 | 13:02

That kid could eat. Yoongi is deciding with a smirk on his face as Hyunki finishes his second slice of cheesecake. Of course, that wasn't the only thing he ate. Much to Hyunki's annoyance, he was told to order some real food before dessert. 

He softened at the sight of the chicken tenders being placed in front of him, a large helping a fries set beside it. Digging in with a loud 'Thank you!' and the biggest of smiles on his face.

They're able to fall into easy conversation, Hyunki going on about what happened at the zoo, and how he never knew penguins were that huge. Laughing loudly when he talked about the way Taetae tried to talk to a tiger and how Kookie-Hyung got scared by a bear.

Yoongi listened the entire time, simply enjoying the sight of his son so excited to share. The stories continue throughout the car ride home, short stretches of silence falling among them before Hyunki is perking up.

“Did you know giraffes talk with their butts? Their mouths don't work or something.” He says as Yoongi straps him in his seat, reaching his hand to ruffle his hair before getting in beside him.

It's a moment before they start driving a quick exchange between Yoongi in the driver. Which lasted too long for Hyunki who is still waiting for an answer to his question. His small hand reaches out to gently tug on his sleeve to pull his attention.

“Dad, you have to listen because you don't know.” Yoongi's eyes are going wide at the name. But Hyunki is going on without missing a beat. Repeating his fun fact as normal. Then spewing ten more in the same breath.

Yet, Yoongi can't bring himself to focus. To take in the new information that he probably won't end up using anyway. The only thing he can hear is his son calling him 'Daddy' for the first time, making all of this so real. Min Hyunki. His little boy. His son. Trying to get his attention, wanting his attention while he speaks.

Warmth spreads throughout Yoongi's body as a smile breaks onto his features. Dad. He liked the sound of that. Who he was, who wanted to be. He was 'Dad' now.

“Are you even listening, Mister Yoobi?” Hyunki speaks as the car is being parked and he's realizing none of his fun facts have gotten a reaction. Back to 'Mister Yoobi' so fast, it must've been a fluke. Fantastic.

With a huff, Yoongi is shaking his head. “Sorry, buddy. My head was somewhere else. Tell me one more time.” Hyunki doesn't hesitate to restart his story, allowing Yoongi to pull him from his car seat, carrying him on his side as they enter the building.

This time, Yoongi is tuned into what his son is saying. Fascinated by how much he knows about animals, and wildlife, and just life and general. A lot more than an average three year old would know he's sure.

“Is that your favorite animal?” He asks as Hyunki finishes saying how Koala's sniff their leaves to know which is the tastiest. He nods with a wide smile, cheek resting comfortably on his shoulder. “I love them, they sleep so long too.”

Yoongi carries his son the entire way to his studio, setting him down once they've reached the door. Jimin had texted just twenty minutes before about how he, Jin, and Hobi had just arrived. Behind the door, ready to meet Hyunki.

Carefully advised by you, Yoongi takes to preparing him for what awaits on the other side of the door. In hopes to prevent any disastrous incident. The steps you laid out for him, echoing in his mind as he speaks – not wanting to mess anything up.

“Are you having fun with Daddy so far?” He asks, genuinely curious but also serving as a reminder for Hyunki. He nods quickly, smiling wide up at him. “I had two slices of cheesecake!” He grins as if Yoongi hadn't been there to watch the kid inhale them.

“You did. Daddy has some friends that want to meet you. Only three of them,” He holds up his hand to show three fingers. “Daddy likes them a lot. Do you think you want to say 'Hi'?”

Hyunki's nose is scrunching at the mention of new people. A concept he's not all too fond of. He liked the people that he knew and didn't understand why his Mommy and now his Daddy was always adding someone new.

Saying 'Hi' won't hurt, though, right? He didn't want to be rude because he knew that Mommy wouldn't like that. She always said it was good to greet people when they want to meet you. So, just saying hi is fine.

Slowly, he's nodding his head. Causing a smile to spread over Yoongi's lips. “Great. If you don't like them, you tell me. I'll kick them out.” There's laughter in his voice, but Hyunki takes his joke seriously. Mister Yoobi was on his side if these new friends were too scary for him.

Quickly typing in the code to open the door with one hand, Yoongi holds onto his son's hand with the other. The light beeps green before the door is pushing open, revealing his studio.

The size of a one bedroom apartment, complete with instruments, monitors, soundboards, a recording booth tucked in the corner. A shower across from that which held a few of his clothes for the nights he spent in here. Fridge fully stocked with drinks and snacks for those nights as well, neatly placed by the large L-shaped couch pushed against the wall.

A lot of his time was spent in this room, so he wanted to make it as homey as possible. His friend's appreciated that too.

Hobi sat upright on the couch, scrolling through his phone with one hand while he toyed with Jin's hair with the other. Head rested on his thigh as he chatted with Jimin across the room who was playing a computer game, only half-listening to the words coming from his elder's mouth.

The sound of the door slamming shut is catching Jimin's attention before anyone, his head turning toward the sound. “Is that him?” He rushes, eyes wide as he scrambles to his feet.

Hyunki is quick to shuffle behind Yoongi's leg, hands grasping his pant leg just as he had done with his mother earlier. Jimin puts a slow to his steps noticing the kid's actions, pushing an easy smile on his face.

“He's a bit shy,” Yoongi explains, bending to pick his son off of the floor. Holding him to his side. “Look, buddy, see. These are my friends. That's Park Jimin, Jin, and Hobi.” Pointing as he introduces them.

The small boy stares at Jimin from his comfortable position in his dad's arms. Studying the man that stands before him, from his pink hair to his black boots. Then all of a sudden, he's pushing his hand out, smiling big. “I'm Hyunki!”

Jimin laughs, stepping forward to take the small hand into his. He shakes it, watching the way Hyunki's smile grows until it's a spitting image of his dad's gummy smile. “Absolute insanity.” He says with a shake of his head, dropping the little boy's hand before lifting his to ruffle his hair.

“You look exactly like your daddy.”

Hyunki's head is whipping to the side, studying the features of his father's face for a moment before he's turning his attention back to Jimin. “Thank you.” He says with a nod of his head, wiggling as a signal to be let down.

Yoongi does just that, setting him on his feet as he walks further into the room. “How's hanging out with him without Yn?” Speaking in a bit of a whisper, Jimin steps closer to Yoongi to deliver his words.

“It's actually been alright, we went to eat and-,” Yoongi fills his friend in on his time with his son while Hyunki takes deliberate steps across the room. Stopping in front of the couch where Hobi and Jin sit.

Hands propped on his hips, he stares the two of them down. Jin is staring right back with a squint, determined to win this unspoken staring contest while Hobi watches on amused.

“What's up, baby Yoongi?” Hobi is breaking the silent exchange after a few moments pass. Hyunki's eyes shifting from Jin up to Hobi. “Shit, he looks exactly like you. Fucking insane.” Words delivered to Yoongi with wide eyes.

Lowering himself at his computer desk, Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Don't curse in front of the kid. Yn will chop my shit.” Never a blatant discussion had between the two of you, but he figured it was safe to assume that you didn't want your kid with a trucker's mouth.

“You're bad at this,” Jin speaks with a laugh, sitting up from his seat as he offers Hyunki a high-five. He's quickly slapping his hand onto his, a large smile breaking onto his features.

Hyunki is back to exploring the room in an instant, slowly becoming comfortable with his surroundings. His daddy's friends were a lot different than the too big smiling people that he sometimes met when he was out with his Mommy.

They always got too close, voice raising too high when they talked to him. Daddy's friends were different. Calmer. Hyunki liked that. Able to relax like he is when he's with Taetae or Kookie-Hyung, and even Joonie now.

His eyes are widening at the side of the familiar instrument in the corner of his room. Tiny feet carrying him as he rushes to it. “Mister Yoobi, you didn't say you had a pinado!?” He's grinning as he looks back to where Yoongi is sitting.

“Yeah. You want to look at it?” Yoongi is standing long before Hyunki is nodding his head. Making his way out to him and easily lifting him onto the piano bench while scooting beside him.

As soon as he's lifting the cover, Hyunki's fingers are reaching for the keys. His back is straightening and as soon as his fingers begin to move a melodic rhythm fills the studio. It isn't super complex, just a few notes repeating over and over but Yoongi is in awe at the sight of his son effortlessly playing the piano right before his eyes.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Yoongi is asking just as Hyunki finishes his first melody and starting a new one.

With his eyes focused on his fingers, he shrugs a shoulder. “Taetae showed me. But it's easy.” Of course, it'd be easy, do you know who your dad is? The response is fresh on Yoongi's tongue, but he doesn't say anything.

To enthralled at the pure talent of his son. Three years old, able to make a tune. Fingers barely able to reach the flat keys, but he manages with slight effort. He can recognize the song as a nursery rhyme but altered with an original twist. Genius.

“Here, let daddy show you something.” Yoongi is reaching for his son with easy, lifting him from his part of the bench and setting him onto his lap. He brings his own hands to the keys, playing the beginning notes of one of his songs. The last song on his latest album.

Hyunki's eyes are wide as he watches the movement of his dad's finger. An actual song, he can tell. “Did Taetae teach you too?” He's asking, twisting his body so he can get a good look at his face.

A soft laugh lights his features as he shakes his head. “Nope. Daddy taught himself.” The littlest of gasps is leaving Hyunki's lips as he turns to face the keys again. Hands lifting to cover his father's before he's tilting his head back to look at him.

“Teach me too, then.” 

APRIL 26TH, 2020 | 19:23

As the hours ticked on, Hyunki became more and more comfortable with Yoongi and his friends. He went from playing the piano (halfway learning one of Yoongi's songs) to watching videos on Jimin's phone.

As someone who doesn't usually let anyone touch their phone, Jimin was oddly quick to offer up the device when Hyunki he was complaining that he was bored. Cueing up video after video, with the sole purpose of making the young boy laugh.

From there he was moving on to show off his toy to Hoseok, pulling it apart and quickly putting it back together while he oohed and awed at the display. The two of them were quickly falling into a game of imagine, Hobi making sound effects as they went along.

And before long he was settling beside Jin on the couch, leaning on him as the adults discussed where they'd go for dinner. It had only been one minute since Hyunki whined about being hungry, the snacks that were given to him not cutting it anymore.

“What about you, Mister Hyun? What do you want to eat?” Hyunki perks up at the new attention, finger tapping against his chin as he thinks about the options that he could possibly have.

He doesn't think for long, seeming to have what he wanted picked out before he was even brought into the conversation. “Pizza!” He shouts with a clap of his hands, eyes lifting to find Yoongi who seems to be contemplating the suggestion. “Pizza, Mister Yoobi?” A slight pout taking over his features, brows turned in.

Jimin finds a pizza place pretty quickly on his phone and it's not long before the five of them are filing out of the business and into the cars.

Hours have passed since then. While they were out, Yoongi was struck with a certain bit of inspiration. All the new feelings of spending time with his kid, hanging out with his friends, things finally seeming a bit more clear with you... he's giddy to get back to the studio to work.

“Can Park take me out for ice cream?” Hyunki is asking with the sweetest of smiles, Jimin a few steps behind him flashing a matching convincing grin. Yoongi is nodding his head instantly, laughing at the loud 'Yay!' that leaves both of their lips before they're turning to leave the room – Jin and Hoseok trailing behind them.

Yoongi's sat at his desk when you arrive, your sharp knock pulling him from his musical world. He's pulling the door open a few moments later, his lips lifting into the smile once he's seeing you.

Dressed differently from this morning. Instead of the comfy clothes you had dropped Hyunki off in, you're wearing a dress. One that hugs your body nicely, but still casual enough to be worn with sneakers. And that's not it, you've put on makeup. The whole ordeal, from lashes to lipstick.

And he's seriously fighting the urge to kiss you. Fuck, how long it's been since he's kissed you.

Leaning forward, you poke your head into the booth, searching its emptiness just like you had done in the first room. Turning, your brows furrow as you look up at your ex. “Where's Hyunki?”

“The guys took him out for ice cream.”

You're nodding at his words, lowering yourself onto the couch across from him. The same couch for some reason kept up in the time that passed but still old. It was the only thing you recognized about the studio. His higher status in the company granting him with all these new perks, it seemed.

“You didn't want to go?” Yoongi's settling into the seat across from you at his desk. “I wanted to wait for you.” There's obvious sweetness in his tone and you can't deny the easy effect he has on you.

Even when he's saying something as simple as that. Something so plain. Of course, he'd wait for you, he knew you were on your way. So duh, he'd want to wait for you. That didn't stop the flutter in your heart, though.

“What did you guys do today?” This was weird. Filling the silence with small talk. Footing not quite right between the two of you, still figuring things out between each other. You wanted to focus to be on Hyunki and Hyunki alone, but that didn't take away from the fact of how badly he wanted to touch you.

And not even in the sexual sense. Well, yes in the sexual sense – but that wasn't it. He missed being able to hold your hand, play with your face, wrap his arms around your waist. He just missed you. Even now when you were sitting right in front of him. He still missed you.

But like you said, for Hyunki's sake. “A lot. Took him for lunch and dinner. Hung out around here. I taught him how to play a song on the piano.” The smile that takes over your features sets a stutter in Yoongi's heart.

But he ignores it.

“He's getting real good at that.” Of all the times you found him practicing with Taehyung. Adamant to get every last key correct, annoyed each time he'd mess up, starting over from the top every single time. Just like his dad.

You'd be a fool to say you didn't wish things turned out differently. That you had never left and the two of you could've raised Hyunki together. It was crazy how similar the two of them were and they didn't even know each other.

Imagine if they had. How special that would be.

“You want to hear something I've been working on?” He speaks to fill the silence and you're instantly perking up – nodding your head. One of your favorite things was to hear his unfinished work, he'd always ask you for your opinion and it made you feel that much more connected to him when he was taking your advice.

It's natural, how fast you stand as he's scooting back from the computer desk. Don't even think as you're lowering yourself into his lap before he has the chance to get up for you to sit. Something he had entirely planned on doing.

As soon as your bum is settled on his thigh, you're realizing your mistake. Eyes going wide, but you don't move. You're committed at this point so you're acting as if your heart didn't just enter a hundred-yard sprint and leaning back against his chest.

“Show me.”

Yoongi's hesitant at first. Not sure if he should move or move you, but at the same time not wanting to do anything about it. He finds comfort in having you this close. The smell of your sweet shampoo tickling his nostrils. You haven't changed it. You didn't seem to have a problem with this, so why should he? Right?

Why should he? So he's lifting his arm to wrap around your waist with swiftness, pulling your body tighter against his as he reaches for the headphones that lay on his desk. He's securing them on your head with one hand, not willing to unwrap his arm from around you to use both.

“It's only half-finished, but be honest.”

There aren't any words. But you can already tell it's much different from the type of music he's usually putting out. Brighter. Instead of the heavy notes he usually uses, this one sounds more fun? 

Something that could potentially be sung along to. Was he planning on singing? The beat shifts and you assume that's where the chorus would be. More bass is added to the sound. Was he going to dance too?

This was so different, but you liked it. Like a lot. Excited to see what he'd do with this since the poppy tune was so unlike him. The beat slows toward the end and even though he isn't listening, he's perking up when it's fading out.

Watching you expectantly, almost nervously as he waits for your input. He too noticed the different approach he had when creating this beat. Determined to try something new, detached from the last two albums he released. Something to stand on his own, that would make fans go: Oh, he can do that too?

“It's really good.” You say first to ease his worries. “Like scary good, you know? It's not what you expect when you turn on Agust D... but I don't know? I like it.” The corners of his lips lift at your praise, you could literally see the nervousness melting away.

It's only gone for a moment before worry is striking his brow again. Teeth tugging at his lower lip gently. “You're not just saying that, right? You think people will like it?” You can't help the smile that breaks onto your features at his words, hand instantly reaching forward to grasp his chin.

Like you've done a million times before. Something you'd began to do to Hyunki too when he was feeling some type of way. Yoongi's lips pucker from the push of your hand, eyes widening as you lean in – almost certain that you're going to kiss him. But you don't, well not exactly. Your lips are finding his forehead, landing two short kisses to his skin.

“You're so serious.” You mumble, not thinking much of it.

If this were three years ago, it wouldn't be a big deal. Sort of your catch phrase when he was stressing himself out about things he didn't have to worry about. Things that were out of his control. It's only after you're seeing the way he's looking at you do you realize it's not three years ago.

Ready to throw caution to the wind, not a care in the world. Just you. In his arms, putting his lips on him. He didn't care where. After so long without your touch, he'd settle for anything at this point.

Obviously too comfortable in this space, on his lap, things started to feel familiar and you acted out of turn. Inappropriate. You were the one that asked not to pursue anything, so what were you doing?

An apology fresh on your tongue, as you pull your body from his grasp. Ready to assure him that you were caught up and that that... that was just a slight relapse. The words don't leave your lips, though – because the door is bursting open and loud laughter is instantly filling the room.

“Mommy! You came back for me!” Hyunki is yelling over the ruckus, climbing out of Jin's grasp and bolting in your direction.

A forced laugh leaves your lips, the awkward tension taking a while longer to dissipate, you lower yourself to scoop Hyunki off of the floor. “Of course, I'd come back for you, baby. Did you have fun with daddy, today?”

“I had two slices of cheesecake and ice cream!” The amount of sweets not something you'd usually root for, but you hold back on chastises either of them. Still stunned from how you acted, how you almost acted.

“That's good, baby. I'm so happy for you. Why don't you give daddy hugs, we gotta go get ready for bed.” Hyunki's nodding at your words, climbing from your arms to Yoongi's outstretched ones.

He sets his cheek on his chest, small arms wrapping around him as he squeezes. Yoongi's slow at lifting his arms, holding his kid close once he finally does. “I'll see you tomorrow, okay, buddy?”

Hyunki nods with a smile, turning his attention to the boys that have sprawled around the room. “You guys can come see me tomorrow too!” He shouts and much to your surprise, Jimin is the first to agree.

Taking his time to say goodbye to everyone and you wait patiently until he's saying he's ready to go. He's leading you out of the room as if he owns the place. As if he's been there a million times and you're the one that needs the guide.

Yoongi watches as you go, a measly smile offered in his direction before you're turning the corner. Despite not being able to see you anymore, he didn't look away. Still trying to wrap his head around what just happened.

You had kissed him. On the forehead, yeah. Seemed like a high-five in comparison to all you've done before. But it was something. Something after nothing in years. And now he was determined. More ready than before to fix things with you.

More than ready to be a family.

— when the love of his life suddenly vanishes, he drives himself mad looking for her. seemingly erased from the world, he’s forced to pick up the pieces of his life and move on… fast forward three years and someone who looks a lot like the woman he lost is being spotted, holding a kid with an oddly familiar gummy smile…

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A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. to be added to the taglist, send me an ask !! feedback is highly !! appreciated, it’s the motivation i need to keep the fic going nd fun for you guys!!<33

#yoongi fluff #yoongi #bts fic #be my baby sm au #yoongi fic #yoongi sm au #yoongi imagine #yoongi smut #yoongi angst #yoongi x reader #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #namjoon #jin #hoseok #jimin #taehyung #jungkook #bts smut #bts imagine #bts sm au #2seok #taekook

[thegreenmetblue]

STARKER FESTIVAL SUMMER BINGO : 2nd square

not a date

read on ao3

Peter was utterly anxious. To be honest, he’s not even sure anything in his life stressed him more than that. To be fair, he wasn’t expecting this. At all. Let’s go back to earlier in the day. This morning to be more precise.

Peter was lying in his bed, watching some weird videos on YouTube. But it was Saturday morning. It’s what teenagers do on a early Saturday morning (read : at 10 am). Not that the boy was gonna say it out loud but it was either that, either reading fanfictions about Spiderman and Iron Man. But shhh if you ask him, he’d say it’s only for checking how people are describing him.

Anyway, he was watching some hilarious videos Ned has sent him for the last six days when his phone stopped the video in exchange of Tony Stark’s face. Peter’s heart skipped a beat in his chest, like every time Tony’s calling him. “Yes ?”, he answers with a faint voice. Most of the times, he has no issues talking to Tony face to face but god knows why, Peter has still big issues with calls.

“If this isn’t my favorite young adult. Hi, Pete. Im sorry if woke up you. Or maybe not that sorry, it was time to anyway.”, Tony’s voice says in the speaker. Peter’s cheeks redden at that. He doesn’t know the reason of it, but it’s been almost two months Tony stopped calling him a kid. And now he just said young adult, it gives hope to Peter’s poor heart. Maybe Tony stopped seeing him as a kid. Maybe he sees him more as an equal now ? Lost in his thoughts, the boy doesn’t even realize he didn’t answer to the man on the other side of the phone.

“Alright, imma take that as a no. Gosh, I wondered what happened to the boy that was practically begging to have all my attention.”, Tony laughs softly. Again, he just said Peter wasn’t that boy anymore. The boy makes a little shame sound to the man’s comment about his behavior, feeling his cheeks burning even more.

“N-no, im sorry, im here mr. Stark. You didn’t wake me up. And please take that back, I was never asking for you attention, old man.”, Peter shoots back. He loves doing that. He loves talking back to Tony. “Imma pretend I didn’t hear what you just called me. And Im also gonna pretend like you’re not shamelessly lying to me at the moment. Anyway, you have plans tonight ?”, Tony asks, a bit of growling in his voice. This automatically warms Peter’s heart. He’s probably gonna go to Tony’s lab tonight.

Peter was trying not to smile too much when he remembered Tony wasn’t actually there. “No, I don’t have anything. You want me in the lab ?”, the boy asks and immediately regrets his choice of words. want me in the lab. Fuck. He was gonna say sorry to that, but thanks god Tony speaks before he can make it even more awkward. “No actually I was thinking of something a little more fun. What do you say about eating in a fancy restaurant tonight ?”. Peter’s heart doesn’t skip a beat this time, it skips severals. Tony wants- what ?

“What ?”, he lets out, without even realizing it. “Should I take that as a no again ?”. Tony’s voice echoes in Peter’s brain but never gets analyzed. The boy’s still frozen, his phone hanging in his hand, the sound of his beating heart ringing in his ears.

“Peter ? Fri just told me your heartbeats are unsually high, are you okay ?”. And this time, that wakes him up. “Wh-what ? Oh.. no that’s- im okay, it’s just- MJ!”, Peter stutters as an answer. He swears he can hear Tony’s frowning’s expression in the silence that follows.

“I mean, she- MJ, she sent me a funny, a text, it reminded me of something and I huh.. yeah. No, that’s yes.”. Another long silence. that’s a yes. Peter feels like he just answered a proposal. “Yes as in, im free for tonight, mr. Stark.”, Peter finishes, his cheeks burning with shame.

“Great. And Im not gonna question what just happened, alright ? Be ready for 7.”, Tony simply says before hanging up. Just like that. Just like he didn’t just made Peter’s brain completely fry.

“Did Tony just asked me on a date?”, Peter asks himself out loud, alone in his bedroom, his jaw hanging in shook. What the hell ?

That’s how Peter started the most stressful day of his entire life. Exams ? Spiderman ? Thanos ? Forget all of this, he has a freakin’ date with Tony freakin’ Stark, that is the real stressful shit. He spends half of the day walking in his apartment.

Around 3, he starts to panic hard because Tony said fancy. But Peter doesn’t have fancy clothes. He stayed in front of his phone, hesitating to send Tony something about that or no. He doesn’t want Tony to think he only has kid’s clothes. But then, better this than showing up in a fancy restaurant with a pun-sweat right ?

PP : How should I be dressed for tonight ?

Peter finally sends, not asking but hoping Tony’ll understand what he meant. His smile increases when, 6 minutes after, his phone rings.

TS : Happy is gonna drop you a suit at 5.

Peter’s inside catches fire at that. The words sugar daddy are ringing in his ears. Tony is gonna buy him a suit. Just for tonight. For their date. “Oh my god, imma be sick.”, Peter mumbles. His heart has been beating so fast since the call. And he feels like he’s gonna throw up. And he’s also happy. So happy. But- a date ? With Tony Stark ? Peter has been in love with the man for- he can’t even remember. Of course at first it was just a fan crush, then a real crush, then it bloomed into full love. And Peter never thought he could had a chance. But- Peter’s thoughts get cut by the entry door opening.

It’s May. And it’s been 5 hours now that Peter is combusting with impatience all alone in his apartment that he just can’t help himself. As soon as May starts taking to him, he blurts out : “I’ve got a date tonight!”

That’s how the hundreds of questions start. May knows he’s gay. However, May doesn’t know he loves Tony and she definitely doesn’t know the actual date is with Tony. So when she starts asking who he is, Peter realizes it maybe wasn’t the best idea. So after receiving the 5 hugs May felt like she needed to give him for that, the boy sends another text to Tony.

PP : Can we meet at the park next to my building please?

And then, he lets May giving him advices for tonight. “Alright, I get why you won’t tell me. Even if Im a little concerned, I get it. Where is he taking you ?”, she asks, a big smile on her face. “I don’t know actually, he just said it was somewhere fancy.”, Peter answers, trying not to let his smile gets to him too much.

“And how are you gonna get dressed ? You maybe can try some of Ben’s suit ?”. And Peter’s heart warms at that proposition. “It’s alright May, I already have something to wear actually.”

The two next hours aren’t better, they’re worst. May continues giving him advices. For his sakes, Peter swears himself to never use some. Then he takes a shower, the longest he never took. Just in case. He wants all of his skin to smell good for Tony. His cheeks brun at this thought. Are him and Tony gonna.. ? Now his whole body is warming up and Peter can’t help but jerking off at the thought of him and Tony going home tonight and having some fun.

When Happy leaves him a text saying the suit is in the mailbox, the boy sneaks to get it. Once the suit is on him, Peter can’t stop looking at his own reflection in the mirror. It’s a light blue suit and fuck, he does look good in those. His whole skin is shivering because Tony bought it to him. Tony’s money is touching his skin. The boy snorts at his own weird thoughts. But he can’t help it.

A small whine escapes his lips when he realizes there’s still 1h30 before Tony comes to get him. And that’s the absolute worst feeling ever. Peter tries to work, to watch a tv show, to talk with May, to phone MJ or Ned, to build lego, but nothing is able to make the time look less slow. And the more the time passes, the more Peter’s stomach gets stress crushed.

When 7 pm is finally approaching, Peter’s not even sure he can breath anymore. “Peter, hey- Peter, please can you stop ?”, May finally snaps and Peter turns to her, ready to burst at her that she doesn’t know how he feels right now, but she shushes him before he can even start.

“Everything’s gonna go well, angel. But please, you’re gonna faint before you’ll even get there, alright ? You’re handsome my baby, he’s gonna love you.”, May tries to calm him by hugging him. He was about to answer her when the clock beside them shows that 7 pm is in 5 minutes. Peter jumps saying he’s gonna be late and rushes out of the apartment.

He went down the stairs, crossed the street and went to the park in a 1 minute time. His heart is menacing to get out of his chest. And when he finally hears Tony’s voice behind him, his whole body jerks and he turns to the voice.

His heart stops again. Holy fuck, Tony is- he’s god-handsome. Peter’s jaw opens and doesn’t close.

“You’re doing alright Peter ?”, Tony asks, after a few seconds. Peter tries. He tries really hard. But Tony is in front of him, in a grey suit that looks absolutely heavenly hot on him, and they’re going on a date and-

“Peter ?”, this time, he forces himself to answer before Tony decides to leaves him there. “Hum… huh- yeah? Yeah you look good. I- I mean.. Im good! Im doing… good.”. He watches in horror as Tony tries to not laugh at him. “Blue suits you, by the way.”, Tony comments and Peter tries not to blush or smile at that.

Then the older one shows him the car behind them and Peter hurries inside.

“So. Why the park ?”, the man asks after a few seconds. Peter’s brows frown in confusion. “Forget it. Everything alright Pete ? You look… tense. Did something happened while you patrolled ?”. And this time, Peter’s sure he’s blushing. Why can’t he just relax ? Okay it’s a date but it shouldn’t be any different than the rest of the time they spend together.

“Yeah.. Yeah im sorry I was just a bit nervous, you know… I… Im happy you invited me tho! So.. where are we going ?”, the boy tries to show he’s grateful for this. The last thing he wants is Tony thinking he’s not happy about the date.

“It’s an Italian restaurant, my favorite one. You’ll see, everything that’ll get into your mouth tonight will make you fly.”, Tony answers and there’s a silence. Peter’s cheeks burn hot now. Did Tony really said- oh my god. “Im just realizing how it sounds. Maybe not my best choices of words.”, the man laughs. laughs, as if he didn’t created a whole fire in Peter’s body. The boy just prays not to pop up a boner just because of a single sentence.

The rest of the ride is just small talks and when they finally arrive, Peter stays close to Tony, it makes him feel protected. And he likes it. The smile on his face is uncontrollable. He can’t believe he’s on an actual date with Tony Stark. His heart is about to burst from happiness. And the place is stunning, and Tony’s stunning. And Peter sees people watching them and he feels proud. He knows how much people want Tony. But Tony’s there with him.

Once they’re seated, Peter can’t help but stare at Tony who’s in front of him. And the only thing he can think of is that he loves him. But the boy shuts up. Tony didn’t mentioned it being a date yet, and even when he does, Peter can’t just say he loves him already.

When the menu comes, Peter just stare at the Italian names blankly. “I… I don’t understand anything that’s written.” , he murmurs to Tony, a bit ashamed. But the man just fondly snorts in response and translates him the different propositions. But after the explanations, Peter’s still lost as fuck. what the fuck are all of those ?. Tony laughs again, louder this time, noticing Peter’s lost face.

“You know what, I’ll order for you. How does that sound ?”. The boy’s heart stops and he flushes different shades of red at once. Tony is gonna order for him. “That- That sounds good. Im sorry I don’t know what are those.”, Peter finally says. “Hey, none of that Pete. Plus, Im kinda excited for you to try what I’ll pick for you.”, the man says, like it wasn’t making Peter squirm in his chair. Oh my god, he’s gonna die.

To give himself a bit of capacity, he pretends to read the menu once again and pouts noticing the prices aren’t there. Meaning it must be like, super expensive. He knows Tony can pay, and there’s a side of him that likes it. Because it’s easier for him to call Tony Daddy in his head. But there’s also a part of him that hates it because it feels like he can’t complete. May and Peter are kinda broke and Peter would have liked to be able to pay a restaurant to Tony too.

“What’s up with the pout ?”. Shit. “N-Nothing, mr. Stark really. It’s just… you know, I can’t… it’s a fancy restaurant and May and I aren’t…”, he begins but Tony cuts him. “Im stopping you right there, Peter. Im sorry if me picking a fancy restaurant embarrassed you, I should have asked where you wanted to go first. But don’t worry about that, okay ? Im not asking you to pay for anything, I invited you there.”. Peter feels his heart beating hard in his chest. “No, Im really happy to be there, I swear! I just… I just don’t want- I don’t know, forget it.”.

Tony does what Peter asked him, he drops the subject and start talking about Peter’s project in the lab. And that, it allows Peter to relax a bit. Because it suddenly feels like a normal time with Tony. And not a date. Well, a date yes but not an awkward one. And if Peter chokes on his own saliva when Tony orders in fucking italian in front of him, then at least, the man acts like he didn’t see it. And Peter’s happy there’s a table because explaining to Tony why he’s hard right now would have been real awkward.

It becomes a bit more awkward again when the meals arrive. Because Peter gets aroused by how good the food Tony picked for him is. Because Tony looks genuinely satisfied with the fact Peter moans at every bite he takes. And because watching the gorgeous man eating in front of him is also a whole show.

Peter is too occupied staring at Tony to realize he’s missing his mouth with the next bite he takes. The man laughs gently at him and Peter wants to fucking hide under the table because now Tony’ll think he doesn’t know how to eat.

“That’s good huh ? Knew you would like it.”, Tony smiles, after a minute of silence. The smile on Peter’s lips grows automatically. He likes that. He really likes that Tony knew what he’d like. “That’s… the best thing I ever ate mr. Stark!”, Peter answers, beaming with happiness. Even the awkward moments can’t ruin this for him. He’s so happy.

The rest of the evening goes well. So well even. But the more the end approaches, the more Peter can’t help but asks himself if something’s gonna happen or not. Like… Is Tony gonna bring him home ? Is he gonna kiss him ? Even the thought of that is enough to make Peter’s head feel dizzy. He can’t even let himself imagine something more than a kiss would happen. And if he does, he’s gonna combust in front of Tony. And before his mind decides to picture them having sex, Peter shakes his head, his cheeks reddening with both shame and want. He had so many dream about Tony, so many wet dreams about Tony. He has been dreaming about the man since even before they actually meet. And Peter feels like he would cum the second Tony lays a hand on him. That’d be pretty awkward. And then, Peter can’t help but wonder what Tony sees in him. He’s nobody. Tony can have whoever he wants, and still, he chose him. Does Tony know he’s a virgin still ? Would he care ?

“Okay, have you even listened to a word I just told you ?”, Tony asks, a jaded look on his face. Peter realizes the man has been talking to him and blushes in shame. “Im so sorry! I was thinking… I got lost in my thoughts, sorry.”, he apologizes, hoping Tony won’t think he’s boring him.

“Wow, he’s getting invited to the fanciest restaurant ever and still act like it’s not enough. What more do you want Parker ?”, Tony jokes and one part of Peter is happy he didn’t get upset. Another part of him just wanna scream he wants Tony to kiss him once they’re out of the restaurant. But what if Tony wanna take his time ? He doesn’t wanna sound as desperate as he really is.

“I’d really love for a car.”, Peter jokes back, glad he made Tony smile. “Ask and you shall receive.”. And Peter doesn’t know how honest Tony is with this. He hopes the man is joking. But Tony’s intense look in his eyes when Peter said those words is enough to make him realize the man is serious about this. “I was joking, mr. Stark.”, the boy adds, just to be sure he won’t receive a car tomorrow. Tony doesn’t answer anything to that, which is kinda weird, but Peter doesn’t think too much about it.

When the server comes back and asks if they want a dessert, Tony answers for him again. No. This time Tony doesn’t wait for Peter to even asks him, he just orders him something in Italian again.

“I could have asked him for ice cream you know…”, Peter whines, faking a pout. “Oh so he understands Italian now.”. And the smile Tony had on his lips almost all night is making Peter heart feel so light.

“I don’t, but I don’t think I need a italian degree to understand ‘gelato’, old man.”, Peter teases, making himself feels hot all over his body. He sees Tony’s gaze changing a bit too. Is Tony loving this as much as him ? “Brat.”, the man accuses and Peter stops himself to make a punishment joke. They’re not there yet.

The boy is now eating his damn vanilla ice cream and can’t help the blush creeping on his face again. Tony is staring at him. Not watching. Staring. Peter’s senses can feel his intense gaze on him, on his face. And the boy feels like he doesn’t know how to eat anymore. He’s sure he’s putting ice cream everywhere on his lips and wants to die about it.

“Y-You didn’t want to take something ? Huh… dessert or- or coffee ?”, he stutters, to make things less intense, because Peter is seconds away to moan under Tony’s gaze. “Im all good, thanks Pete.”, Tony answers and the boy doesn’t know if he’s dreaming or not but Tony’s voice sounded more… low ? He goes back to eating his ice cream, hoping it’s the last ice cream he’ll ever eat in his life.

When they finally go out, Peter feels drunk. He’s so happy, so nervous and so horny at the same time. He’d say so in love but let’s not brings more awkward to this. They walk in silence to Tony’s car. And just before Tony can open his car, Peter blurts out : “Thank you so much for the dinner mr. Stark! It was really really good and really fun. I liked it… a lot.”, he says, knowing he’s blushing again but doesn’t care at this point. Maybe Tony is waiting for him to make the first move. Because he doesn’t wanna rush him.

“Pleasure was mine, Pete.”, the man answers, a soft smile on his lips. And then, Peter doesn’t even realize what his body his doing, but that should be the good time no ? His heart is pounding so fast and loud in his chest, ears and whole body as he leans and kiss Tony. A smack. Just a smack. Because Peter doesn’t even know how to kiss. It was fast, but enough to make Peter’s heart explodes in his chest.

But then he sees Tony’s face. Tony’s frozen and shocked face. Shit. Did it was too soon ? Did it sucked ? Did Tony expected someone who could actually kiss him ? Peter wants to throw up. ”Mr. Stark ?”, he asks faintly.

“Peter. What… What was that ?”, Tony questions, his tone dangerously flat. “I- I thought… Im so sorry I... You know with the date and all, I thought maybe… maybe it was a good time to kiss you, you know ? Im sorry if Im not a g-”, Peter painfully begins but gets cut by Tony. “Wait- A date ? It wasn’t a date.”, the man says, his voice suddenly high. Peter’s blood turns cold in his whole body.

What ?

“Wh- What ?”, he breathes, voice already trembling. Oh god no. No no no no, this can’t be happening.

“This. That’s- Christ, Peter. It wasn’t a date. I- I didn’t- We’re not- Fuck.”, Tony panics, his voice almost screaming the last bit, stepping back from Peter. Peter who’s still frozen, watching what’s happening in front of him without being able to move.

“Oh god, Im so sorry if I made you think it was a date, kid. Im- It wasn’t my intention.”, Tony tries to apologize, clearly still panicking. The only word echoing in Peter’s brain is kid. Tony hasn’t called him like that for months. And now he’s doing it again.

“Peter, kid. Shit, you can’t cry- I- Peter Im so sorry I shouldn’t-”. And it’s only when Tony says that that Peter realizes tears are rolling down his cheeks. His heart feels heavy in his chest. No. His heart feels completely crushed in his chest. And the humiliation. The boy still stands there, only capable of crying in front of Tony, who’s panicking on his own.

“Kid, you- Im sorry, Im not mad I swear, we can’t- We just can’t. We’re not… that.”. And Peter’s heart feels like breaking again. “D-Don’t call m-me k-kid.”, and it’s the only thing Peter can lets out before fully starting to cry. Small hiccups escaping his lips.

Tony watches in horror, unable to do much. “Peter, im begging you- stop crying, im not mad, you’re- kid I-”, the man starts and if he wasn’t so much in pain, Peter would have been genially shocked to see Tony struggling so much to speak. “Stop ca-calling me a kid!”, the boy almost screams, surprising both himself and Tony. The man steps back again. There’s a silence. A loud one. A painful one.

“Im sorry. It’s my fault if you thought- Jesus, it’s my fault if you mistook this, Peter. Im sorry I let you think this was a… a date. You can’t- it’s not on you, Im not mad.”, Tony speaks again. But it’s only words. Peter’s brain shut himself. He doesn’t understand what Tony is saying to him. He just wants to die.

“But- But I lo-”, he starts, desperately, only to get cut by the man in front of him again. “No. No you don’t. You- Jesus ki- Pete, it’s not-” and there’s a silence again. “It’s not wh-what ? True ? H-How would you know ? And wh-why… what was al-all of this for if-if it was- n’t a.. a da-date ?”, the boy desperately questions, in between cries. Tony’s pained expression intensifies. “Pete, stop crying.”.

“Answer me!”, the younger one screams. He can’t believe Tony. It’s not true. Tony is just being- delusional.

“Christ why are you doing this ? Peter, it was just- just… us.”. Peter never heard Tony’s voice sounding so desperate before today. But he can’t care. He feels like he’s been crushed by a fucking plane right now.

“Us ? Ye-yeah and Im- im saying that us, is me lo-lo-loving you and you- you looking at me with- with that look in your eyes.”. And Peter can sees Tony’s eyes watering. Again, it’d be the first time he sees Tony crying, but he still can’t care. The man just steps back and sighs, passing both of his hands on his face.

“You stopped calling me ki-kid. And- and you order for me- and- and sh-shit! I- I know you like it. I know i-it because I can se-see it, mr. Stark. I- I want- I want you… pl-please.”, Peter cries even harder now, his voice constantly cut by cries. “Please.”, he begs again. And it’s even more painful because Tony doesn’t answers anything. The man just stand in front if him, completely frozen, with a pained expression on his face. But he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t deny it. Why doesn’t he deny it ?

And suddenly, Tony’s warms hands are on his cheeks, trying to wipes the endless tears coming out of Peter’s eyes. But the sensation of the hand on his cheeks only makes Peter cry more. “Peter… Peter, baby.. please. You- fuck. You have to stop, alright ?”, Tony whispers, so close to him, but yet so far. baby.

Peter doesn’t realize he leans on the touch, he doesn’t realize Tony’s other hand is clenching hard on his light blue jacket. And despite everything that is happening right now, Peter only wants them to kiss. A real kiss.

But the next thing he feels is Tony’s strong body against him. The man is hugging him and Peter can’t help but hug him back, his cries still loudly getting out. “Peter, please. I can’t. You know I can’t. Im so sorry. I shouldn’t have invited you, I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have let myself- I can’t.”, Tony murmurs those things in Peter’s ear, tightening his arm around the boy’s body and it only hurts Peter more. Why is Tony saying all of this ? What does it mean ?

“Please…”. It’s all what Peter is capable to say. Please love me. He feels Tony’s body, Tony’s warmth getting away and hates it. And the boy can’t take it. It hurts so much. So before Tony can even answer with another apologize, Peter’s wrists move on their own, and the next second he’s not there anymore, he’s on the top of the building next to the restaurant. He has to get away from Tony. He can’t stay there.

And if Peter hasn’t jumped on another building right away, he would have been able to hear Tony whispering on his own. “Pete… I wished you’d understand why this can’t be a date, why I can’t let you love me back.”, finally letting himself cry now that Peter ran away.

second square for @starkerfestivals 🙈🙈

alright so first of all im so sorry for this fjndldl 😭😭😭 this bingo is challenging me so much tho bc i wrote my first tony fucking peter and now i wrote my first sad ending

its just the first thing that came to my mind seeing ‘not a date’ so i followed my idea

also i edited it three fucking times bc tumblr was being a bitch with me today 🔪

#starker #ironspider #leah writes sometimes #starkerfestival summer bingo #starkerfestivals #starkerfestivalsevents #sfsummerbingo21

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

#jamie mccrimmon #second doctor #big finish #Short Trips: Deleted Scenes #yes i am gonna tag this #two/jamie #i think it earned it with the line from celine's letter if nothing else #and quite possibly the doctor's so-called imprudent & pain-driven spying #but i'll leave it at that #in case anyone's looking at the tags to decide if they should actually read this rambling monster of a post #also if you for some reason read this but haven't listened to the audio - #a) that's kind of you to care what i have to say but #b) you could probably have listened to half of it by now lol #did i mention it's a stand-alone audio that only costs $3? #and it's more of a traditional audio book format with one narrator who voices all the characters? #sorry i wasn't ready to do a bf pitch in the tags here #i genuinely dont know why someone who hasn't already heard it would bother to read all this #but if anyone has - thanks? #i'll shut up now so you can get on w ur day :)

[gureishi]

OkAY SO HELLO AGAIN

my cat Tiko is EXTREMELY VOCAL to the point where he gets on my nerves almost every day. HES MEOWUNG HIS HEAD OFF RIGHT NOW LIKE BRO WTH I JUST GAVE YOU SOME ATTENTION

my mom's better at handling him than i am. im just way too easily irritated. AND LIKE he doesnt just!!! come over to me or my mom for attention! like bro you can just chill on my lap u know and i'll give u attention buT NOPE.

jdvdhsj okay sorry that turned into a mini rant

anyways sometimes i snap at him or even slam on the table (to make noise) to get him to be quiet (thats like, when im in school or trying to focus on hw, art, or writing -- or otherwise not in a position to get up and give him attention). doesnt always work lol... but i just get so frustrated. and i always feel bad but i honestly cant help it; i have a bit of a short fuse, at least when it comes to irritation (rather than anger). occasionally i pretend to through like, an eraser at him, but thats not as common.

so i guess im just wondering how saeyoung would react in those cases? especially the first ones. and i suppose this could get a lil angsty... i only say that because i can feel rn that i would probably feel so guilty for behaving that way in front of someone other than my mom.

it also has to do with that "getting stuck" thing. its hard to actually get up and move sometimes. AND IM ALSO A HUMAN WHO HAS THINgs to do and i cant always entertain Tiko just because he's bored or thinks something is wrong just because we've been sitting in one place for more than 2 hours and appearing to not do anything... smh

msvdjsbsj gosh this is probably so weird and specific lolol sorry 😅 but it is an almost daily thing for me.

and gosh this whole thing probably makes me sound like a monster 😭😭 if it means anything, i would never actually hurt him :(( and i never have in the 10 years we've had him. i just get frustrated so easily and his meow is very loud and sorta high pitched and piercing and persistent... sighh

[417]

You certainly do not sound like a monster! As I’ve told you, we are constantly whining at the dog because he is so very loud (and yes, we should train him better, and we’ve tried, but he is also anxious and my street is very chaotic 😭)

So anyway: I very much get it ❤️❤️❤️

Hmmmmmm what to call this...?

Saeyoung with an MC who gets annoyed at her loud cat

Everyone knows Saeyoung loves cats. What you also know, of course—and what he sometimes forgets—is that he doesn’t actually know anything about cats.

He is startled by the meowing, at first. He is fascinated with your cats: he thinks they are beautiful and charming and adorable and perfect in every way (much like you). He didn’t really expect them to be loud, though. 

His first instinct, of course, is to meow back. He has endless energy to play with the cats—after all, he hasn’t grown up with them, and he only sees the things that are exciting. And of course, they will end up in a long conversation, Saeyoung and the cat. Lots of meowing. Very vivacious meowing.

And look, if you’re in the right headspace for it, it’s pretty cute. He really just wants the cats to understand him. He wants to be their friends. (He wants to make sure he has their blessing to be with you, but that’s another story altogether.)

But if you’re not in the right headspace—you’re working, or writing, or drawing, and need some peace and quiet—it’s not so cute anymore.

It’s automatic: the cat meows, and you snap in response. You’re frustrated; you’re trying to focus, and the incessant noise pushes you over the edge.

And that startles Saeyoung, too. He’s never heard you snap like that before.

Immediately, you feel terrible—you’re hit with a huge wave of guilt. And it is double guilt, because he is here, and you love him, and you don’t want him to think badly of you. 

And you love your cat, of course. You didn’t mean to snap the way you did; you don’t want this beloved boy to think you are a horrible, cat-hating monster.

A moment ago, you rose out of your seat. Now, you sit back down slowly. You don’t really want to meet his eyes.

“Sorry,” you mutter. Your face feels hot. “I didn’t mean...”

He doesn’t say anything right away, and you can feel his eyes on you. You feel like you might cry. Oh, you think—he hates you now.

And the cat is meowing again, because of course he is.

“Hey.” Suddenly, Saeyoung is in front of you. He’s jumped up onto the table and pushed your work to the side—he’s peering down, trying to look in your eyes. “What’s wrong?”

You put your face in your hands so you don’t have to look at him. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that,” you say into your hands. “Don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Gentle, rough fingers on your face—and he’s tilted your chin up so you can’t help but look him in the eye. Ah, and for a moment you are lost there, as you so often are: his gaze is soft, and bright, and intense—once you are looking, it is impossible to look away.

“It was loud,” he says. “I get it. But why are you...?”

He cups your cheeks in both hands. And he probably shouldn’t be sitting on the table, but—but—his hands are warm and he is looking down at you with such deep affection in his eyes. 

“I got frustrated,” you tell him. “But I didn’t want to—I shouldn’t—act that way in front of you.”

His eyes widen. You didn’t expect him to be surprised, but he is—and he is blushing, which seems strange.

“You were trying to—?” He shakes his head, like he doesn’t quite understand. “Okay. Here’s what you have to know.”

He is still holding your face. And this is fine—you could feel his hands on your cheeks forever and it wouldn’t be enough.

“I love you,” he says firmly. “You...know that part, right?”

You laugh—perhaps a little wetly. You do know.

“My love is not conditional,” he continues. You take a shaky breath. “I love you when you’re happy and energetic. I love you when you’re working hard and focusing. I love you when you’re sad and need comfort. I love you when you’re irritated, or frustrated, or angry,” he says.

It is a flood of words, and they wash over you like a rushing river. Your heart is racing.

“You don’t have to act any way around me,” he tells you. “That’s part of the deal.”

The cat is meowing again, but you hardly hear him. Absently, you reach over and pet him. Saeyoung grins.

“And you love your cats,” he adds. “And I know you’d never hurt them just because you’re upset.”

You nod. It’s true. You wouldn’t.

“C’mere?” he asks. He holds out his arms and—oh, he is still sitting on the table, but—you stand, falling into him, resting your head on his chest. He wraps both his arms around you and squeezes you tight.

“You know the same goes for you, right?” you mumble, your voice muffled by his t-shirt. He giggles at the way you sound and presses his lips to the very top of your head.

“No matter what?” he asks. 

“Of course.”

He meows.

Oh, and he is meowing at the cat again: back and forth, as if they are chatting about the weather.

“Saeyoung!” 

You pull back and he smiles apologetically. “Still love me?”

You roll your eyes. You pet the cat. You pet his head.

You do: of course you do. Unconditionally.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #707 #headcanons #asks #417

[some-random-loki-stan]

Catchin’ The Vibe

Pairing: Loki x reader

Word Count: 2,543

Warnings: drug use (devils lettuce folks), wee bit of angst, fluff if you squint, awkwardness if that counts lol, older GenZ!reader

A/N: Ahhhh! This is my first time posting something I’ve written! I hope you all enjoy!

 Classes that day were less than pleasant. The reminder of 4 major exams coming up did nothing to soothe (Y/s) constant stress and anxiety and she couldn't help but rush out of her final class, ready to finally relax.

          The brisk walk home got her thinking and she quickly pulled out her phone and sent a text to her roommate, Cassie. The girl was well aware of Cassie's habits of bringing friends over unexpectedly. She'd learned to text ahead so that she could change her course of direction before it was too late and Cassie made her begrudgingly agree to stay with them. For as much as their external personalities clashed, she really did love Cassie but she also really didn't feel like trying her own patience today. Instead, she prepped for her backup plan.

When the inevitable response came from her roommate, she sighed and set a course for Avengers Tower. Even if a group of super heroes lived there, the tower was big enough to grant her space from them.

Walking in the front door, she flashed the card that her aunt Pepper gifted her upon her arrival to the big city to the security guard. If you need anything, Pepper had said, pressing the card into the girls palm, just come find me. She absolutely adored her aunt Pepper and although she didn't particularly need anything from her aunt in person, she was ever grateful for the unlimited access to the tower.

The girl was pleased to find that the residence atop the tower was seemingly empty. Out on a mission, she presumed. Thank God.

  She wasted no time plopping herself down on the couch and reached deep into her backpack, searching for the little ziplock bag. The perfect little cookie she had placed in there earlier that morning had crumbled to bits and she made a sound of disappointment. She opened it and poured a handful of crumbs, careful not to spill any on the couch. Only after carefully putting the rest away, she finally let herself fall back against the sofa and unwind.

When the girl found her eyes sore and red, and her mouth dry as the desert, she knew her high had hit. The previous anxious pounding in her heart and head was replaced with a subtle, pleasant throbbing throughout her body. Finally, she felt like she could take a deep breath. Reveling in the feeling, she closed her eyes and thought back on the day. 

Unbeknownst to her, Loki stood in the doorway of the living room, watching her intently. His fingers softly tapped on the hardcover of his book, debating whether or not he should go back to his room. He could sense that there was something different about her today. Something off. Now that Loki thought about it, the girl's energy always seemed a little ‘off’ compared to the other mortals on Midgard, but never this heavy before. It made him shift in discomfort.

Before he could turn and sneak away, her soft yet dry-red eyes peered over the couch and caught his own deep green ones. He was caught.

“Hello,” she said kindly. "You can join me, if you'd like." Loki's presence was one she always welcomed. She smiled softly and gestured to the sofa across from her. Loki hesitated for just a second but then slowly took a seat. She sat up to address him better and continued.  “I wasn't expecting anyone to be here. I thought everyone was out on a mission.” 

Only a couple feet from her now, the god could clearly see the red in her eyes and her exhaustion radiated off of her. His curiosity got the better of him and the question shot out of his mouth, quiet but clear. “Is something wrong?”

The girl froze suddenly. Her thoughts fluttered excuse from excuse. But she stopped, suddenly. She wondered with a bit of mischief -and defiance, probably-, what if she just told the truth. She realized quickly that Loki would probably be the last person to rat her out, quite honestly. Besides, something told her that Loki'd had his fair share of, well, exotic herbal substances, for lack of better term. Forgetting herself, she laughed a little at the thought.

Thinking he'd said something foolish, it took everything in Loki not to stride out of the room then and there. Irritation and perhaps embarrassment bloomed deep in his chest. Instead he let out a little huff which luckily got her attention. 

“Im sorry, but no. Why do you ask?” Her voice lilted up in a teasing manner. She had a small smirk on her face as she took a sip from the water bottle in her bag. 

Loki knew that look all too well. It was the same one he got on his face when he was up to no good. Suddenly intrigued, he narrowed his eyes at her and slipped on his shit-eating grin.

“Your eyes are red. And your presence feels more... tense than usual.”

She leaned forward and swallowed quickly. “What, you mean like my energy?”

Loki paused pensively then nodded.

She snickered and thought about that particularly interesting tid-bit of information. The scientific and spiritual knowledge on Asgard is far different and more advanced than anything on earth, she knew.

Minutes passed and the girl found her thoughts wondering, as well as her eyes. At some point, they landed on Loki reading his book and suddenly a light bulb went off in her head. Surprising herself with this idea, she mulled it over in her head. He is literally the most stressed individual I have ever met...and aunt Pepper has to deal with Tony on a daily basis so that's saying something... there's no harm in asking.

"Loki, have you ever heard of weed?" she asked as innocently as she could muster. He looked at her, contemplating. Eventually, he shook his head no. Delight spread across her face before caution took its place and the girl thought of the best way to explain to Loki what exactly the Midgardian herb was.

 "On Earth, there's this plant called marijuana." A look of slight recognition passed over his face. "It's used as a destresser, antidepressant, muscle relaxer…” She paused pensively. “Some use it for spiritual purposes. It's got loads of uses. Not to mention it gets you nice and toasty." 

With the Avengers away, his normally stiff and stoic facade was softer, allowing the girl to just barely make out the contemplative faces he was making. She had also noticed his brief look of uncertainty at her use of the term 'toasty'.

"So this is Midgards form of the Gift," he concluded.

"If that's what you guys call drugs on Asgard then, yeah. Sure." She let out a little laugh and looked at him intently.

After a second of thinking, he finally looked at her again, mischief seeping into his words and face. "And why might you be telling me this, dearest?" 

Leaning back with a grin, she fished the baggie from her backpack once more. The loose crumbs looked less than impressive to the god but the girl didn't seem to care. She gave Loki a look to rival his own and for a second, it actually made him falter. 

The amount left in the bag was just the amount she felt comfortable giving him so she handed him the plastic baggie. When he didn't take it right away, she pulled back. 

"You don't have to if you don't want to." The gentleness in her voice caught him off guard and reassured him that it was his choice. He had no doubt after that, he wanted to do this. 

For as much as he didn't trust Midgard or their people, Loki was quite comfortable around her. The child of the group and yet she seemed to be the only tolerable one. Her normally quiet disposition drew him in and her ability to launch passionately into one of her stories only made him enjoy her company more. It reminded him of his mother.

Shoving those thoughts aside, he did his best to pour the cookie crumbs into his mouth then set the baggie on the coffee table. Leaning back, they both fell into comfortable silence and waited.

---------------------------

She was in the kitchen when out of the corner of her eye, she saw Loki slowly close his book. The girl looked up and across the space to the connected living room where he sat and saw him staring blankly at a spot in front of him. Finally, he let out a small groan and fell backwards. It had finally hit.

"Loki?" 

His hand twitched in her direction and she knew he wasn't doing well. Quickly filling a glass of water, she was at his side in a second. His head was all the way back, looking at the ceiling and his eyes were wide, pupils blown. His breathing was labored and his hands were shaking. 

"Hey, ok," she said, sitting gently next to him. She placed her hand on his arm but he flinched away. Paying it no mind, she spoke gently. "Don't fight it, Loki. Just relax and breathe." 

Loki tried his best to relax, truly. But there was this relentless twitching all throughout his body and his senses felt dulled by this incessant tingling. His mind was flitting through thoughts faster than he could grasp. Not having control over his mind and body was completely unexpected. The Gift was nothing like this. 

On Asgard, the Gift clears your mind and energy and makes you feel present and centered. It connects mind and body, bringing them together in harmony. This was the opposite. It was incapacitating his body and his thoughts swirled senselessly in his head.

"May I touch you?" 

He looked at her but the words were lost on him, he couldn't focus. He stared at her until she spoke again.

 "Loki? Is it alright if I touch you?" 

Before she could even finish the question a second time, he was already nodding his head yes. The girl smiled and softly placed her hand on his shoulder for reassurance. She rubbed her thumb gently back and forth and held up the glass of water. 

"Take a sip, it'll help," she urged. Loki mustered enough composure to sit up and take a few sips. When he was done, he rested back against the couch, shutting his eyes tightly.

Putting the glass down, the girl sighed as she looked at his rigid body. Poor thing was torturing himself with how tense he was. "Loki, if you don't relax, you're gonna cause more harm than good. Your muscles are going to snap."

He only shook his head.

Suppressing her own increasingly anxious thoughts, she continued. "Then what can I do to help? Please? I want to help you…" But Loki couldn't bring himself to say anything. Instead he shakily took her hand. Gentle but firm, it was the smallest of acts but she could already feel the difference it made. 

After a few moments, his scrunched up face was finally smoothing into one of ease and his breathing began to level out. The twitching was unavoidable and so was the probability of zoning out a couple times but that was all a part of the experience. After regaining control of his breath, Loki finally seemed to be letting himself unwind.

As his body started to melt into the couch, she gently readjusted herself next to him so that she was more comfortable. Not once did they let go of each other's hand. They sat in silence, enjoying the buzz but also each other's quiet presence.

---------------------

As the night got darker and the high mellowed out, Loki found himself actually enjoying his time. He could still feel the tingling in his body but had decided that he liked it. The girl had managed to pull him out of his trance when she pulled her hand away to put on some slow, quiet music that was pleasant to his currently sensitive ears.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, softly.

Still lounging back against the couch, Loki took a moment to think then nodded his head. A lazy smile spread across his face. "I feel...good." 

"Yeah?" she chuckled.

"Yeah."

They both let out a lazy chuckle and the girl fell back against the couch. "So…" She hesitated and wondered if she should say something so soon but continued anyway. "Are you okay? That was kind of... intense and I just want to make sure you're alright."

Loki took a second to gather his thoughts and cleared his throat. "My mind went places I try very hard to keep hidden. I wasn't prepared, is all."

When he didn't say anything more she decided it was best to leave it there. She watched him lose himself in his thoughts again and immediately scooted closer. Grabbing his hand wholly, she pressed herself into his side lightly as not to startle him and gave him a reassuring laugh. "I've gotcha. You're stuck with me now, buddy."

He just closed his eyes and exhaled heavily, the slightest hint of a smile on his face. But then he remembered why he was in this strange situation in the first place. When he had initially walked into the common room, the girl's abnormally heavy presence had made him want to flee. He wondered for a second if it could have been an effect of the Midgardian drug but if he focused hard enough, he could still sense that same tension deep in her muscles.

"And how about you?" 

She looked at him uncertainly. "What about me?"

"Are you ok?"

She shook her head in confusion as she couldn't understand what he was trying to get at. Loki thought about giving it up but he managed to convince himself otherwise. Pay her the same courtesy she did you, he willed himself.

"When I walked in I noticed a particular...mood settling over the room. It wasn't much like you and I wonder if something upset you," he spoke, afraid he might be over stepping.

Recollection spread across her face and she laughed begrudgingly. Now that she had time to relax and let the day sink in -not to mention the external help of her good friend Mary Jane-, she could separate herself from the anxiety and stress of everyday college life. Four exams were nothing, she concluded. She'd gotten through worse before. She could do this.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just some trivial human stuff. But I'm ok, I promise." 

They looked at each other, both their eyes red and droopy. She had a soft, genuine smile on her face and Loki felt himself relax all over again. As the music met their ears once more, they fell into pleasant silence.

----------------------

When the team got home early the next morning, they were surprised to find the two asleep on the couch. With Loki's head hanging back against the couch and the girl's face smothered into his shoulder, it definitely wasn't the most comfortable condition to sleep in. And yet, these two, in their stubborn chaos, managed to make it work. Deciding not to disturb them, the team just let them be and didn't dare mention a word to them when they woke.

#loki x y/n #loki (marvel) #loki x reader #loki #the avengers #mcu fanfiction #mcu fic #mcu #devils lettuce #genz!reader #tom hiddelston x reader #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfiction

[owlf45]

Nico back at it again with only the stupidest Imaginary asks- how would each of the holders react to someone giving them a hug? (This has nothing to do with my desire to give Sixth a hug and you can't prove anything)

Thank you for indulging me Nico I’m so happy you asked BC NOW I GET TO TALK ABOUT THEM 

once again im ranting about my characters no im not sorry i love them okay 

First: hugs is the equivalent of recharging his batteries lol. He’s very shy about getting them but when it’s from people he trusts he absolutely loves it. all hugs are appreciated. It makes him feel loved. Very soft reactions. Bundle of joy. Will always reciprocate. he is touch starved from The OG Vaulting, he just wants healthy attention. however he can only do hugs in short bursts bc otherwise he gets fidgety. afo had a bad habit of having prolonged hugs and first doesn’t like to be reminded of him. 

Second: He’s a bit more finicky about hugs because he’s super averse to touch. even with ppl he really cares about, it’s tough for him to accept hugs or any prolonged physical contact. (his physical signs of affections are usually limited to high fives, ruffling hair, and his horrible habit of tucking someone’s hair behind their ear look im not saying its bc of first but im totally saying its bc of first, he has such long hair that always gets into his eyes what do you EXPECT OKAY). if a hug is absolutely necessary and it comes from either First or his four five kids (Third, Crimson Riot, Sixth, Izuku Dabi) then he’ll put up with it. usually he’ll just give awkward head pats in return, unless he’s been scared out of his mind that those particular people couldve been in danger, in which case he might reciprocate hugs. if a hug is not necessary he’ll usually throw the hug-offender off of him (First and Izuku are the only exceptions. He’ll shimmy his way out of their grip) 

Third: surprise. he likes hugs but he doesn’t know what to do with his arms because hugs?? physical contact?? how does one human?? but give him a bit and he’ll figure it out. he doesn’t crave hugs nearly as much as First but he still appreciates them. a lot. he tries not to get outwardly emotional with hugs to the best of his ability (hugs remind him of his brother), so he tends to internalize it. still, hugs are very soothing for him. he’s the type to thank someone after being given a hug. 

Fourth: cold glares. he will not give a single warning before he grabs the hug offender by the back of their shirt and shoves them away. there are two people he will tolerate hugs from, and one of them is Third and its a fifty-fifty chance. usually Third has to piss him off before he can sneak a hug in—and the hug is in no shape or form a measure of affection. 

Fifth: hugs?? hugs! HUGS!! Fifth will take hugs from anyone anytime anywhere. he will not hesitate to get/reciprocate hugs from anyone. suffer under the weight of his love and affections and far too much strength, he has so much and he’ll always take more. also be wary that he might twirl a hug offender in the air. he has no little to no self restraint. 

Sixth: BABY. child. baby. he doesn’t like surprise hugs (i mean. not like he can be that surprised due to his quirk, unless he’s in the middle of really deep thought or panicking and not focused). he also doesnt like hugs from people he doesnt know well. hes a “class clown” but, tbh, he’s not actually that,,, sociable?? ig?? with people he doesnt know well/who have questionable trustworthiness. like Second he’s a bit averse to hugs, though that’s more due to his wariness than anything else. BUT if he gets a hug from someone who he trusts and it isnt a surprise—!!! soft. baby. child. touch starved. he will stay in a hug for as long as the other person is in it, meaning that yes it might be uncomfortably long but can you blame him??? (unless he’s in A Thing and then otherwise if a hug is too long he’ll get anxious, but that’s not the norm.) if its an emotional hug He Will Cry But In An Unnoticeable Way. he isn’t sure if he deserves hugs but he Wants Them. he will Take Them. please give this child hugs. 

Seventh: nana!!! lovely mentor!! her opinion on the matter is very much, “what’s a hug going to do me wrong?” it’s not her go-to source of comfort and affection but when it comes down to it she will accept them gleefully. 

Eighth: toshi!! i mean. he’s awkward and socially isolated so it’ll be a while before he warms up to hugs. 

Ninth: izuku, obviously. he deserves hugs. he knows he deserves hugs. he’s aware he’ll get hugs at least twice a day from different holders. he will always take hugs. hand your arms over, he needs to fill his daily requirement in. 

#owls hyperfocus topic of the day #my asks #imaginary #imaginary reference #i love this damn holders far too much for my own good #first one for all holder #second one for all holder #third one for all holder #fourth one for all holder #fifth one for all holder #sixth one for all user

[kiki-tties]

The brothers reacting to MC cursing in a foreign language

Lucifer - Stares at them blankly - Thinks he hears wrong - Doesn’t really understand. What does they mean? - Remembers that on their personal information said that english isn’t their native language. - But, what does they mean tho? - Thousand and thousands of years living and he hasn’t hear such words. - Realization: They are curse words, must be of their country. - Intriguing….OH. - Are they insulting him? - I hope not (better not)

Mammon - It was so funny. They were mad at Lucifer. Screaming like crazy - Lucifer is just there unable to say something back - And boooyy is so funny - Why he doesn’t say anything back to them? - Expectation fills his face looking at them - Oh…. he just notice he has no idea what they are saying - But wait a minute, he is pretty sure he has heard them saying some of those words to him! - Is not funny anymore

Levi - He watched the disaster happen in slow motion - He was in the kitchen searching snacks for his anime marathon - Hears MC screams, followed by Mammon’s laugh - Goes quickly to there. What if something happened to them? - Sees how Lucifer goes from surprised, insulted, angry to lost at not understanding what was happening - Start paying attention to their words. - WHAT. WAS. THAT - Ooooooh boy, this is so fun! Is just like that anime where the protagonist unleashes their anger at the popular boy! - He NEEDS to know what are they saying. Starts typing as fast as he can searching for answers on his phone - But found nothing...what idiom is that? - His marathon can wait

Satan - Another day, another fight at the house of lamentation - Why is everyone screaming now? - Wait, is not one of his brothers, is them. - Man, they must be angry, he never heard them screaming like that before - This must be good. - Goes to the living room to see what was happening - He was right, they are mad. Pretty mad - Mammon is on a corner looking the scene with his mouth open - Levi is frustrated as he switch between looking at them and his phone - Lucifer is sooo perplexed, with his classical “hand on chest” pose. So indignated - “...Brilliant! It reminds me of the hunt!”

Asmo - Oh! Someone must be singing! In such high notes! - Wait, how dare them?! To do karaoke without him - Goes downstairs completely insulted - Stop his salt when he sees MC screaming at Lucifer, Mammon still mouth wide open. Levi on his phone as always, only that frustrated, and Satan laughing next to him - What is going on? - ...Did they said what? - Lucifer is a what?! - Oh dear, he has hear things but nothing like that - Is actually kind of hot. - Wonders if they could say those things with such passion in bed with him too - See how hard they are furrowing their eyebrows and gets worried - “MC, IS BAD FoR YOUR SkIN GET THIS AnnGRrYYyyY”

Beel - Just came home with Belphie from getting some food - He had such a good day, hanging out with his twin - Drop his burger when he enters the house - MC is still screaming - Lucifer still doesn’t react at all. - Mammon is still at their side, trying to understand their words

- Levi is searching something on his phone, typing as fast as they screams

-Satan is sitting on the sofa amused seeing the scene with a cup of...tea?! on his hand

-Why is Asmo spraying some..thing around MC and Lucifer? - Oh, is for sooth the creases of MC you say…? - What. is. going. on.

Belphie - Was anxious to eat in his room the only piece of pie Beel didn’t eat - Rise an eyebrow at Beel when he stops talking - Follow his gaze and- - What? - One day, one day of a quiet evening at the house is all he ask - How he is supposed to take his nap with all this noise? - Man, this human has lungs. Just.how?? - Wait….what was that? - They are speaking such strange words. - Clearly Lucifer isn’t enjoying it but doesn’t say something either - Oh man, this is going to be fun - Sits with Satan sharing his pie with him watching the flames rise

Bonus: Diavolo - Calls Barbatos to come quickly - He has no idea what she is saying - But founds it so curious. - He wants them to come over and teach him ASSAP - “Look!! Aren’t humans fascinating?!” - If he makes them Queen/King of the devildom would they show no mercy as well…? - Intriguing creatures humans are

Barbatos - Doesn’t understand what is so amusing about this - “….Yes my lord, very funny indeed”. - Slightly intrigued at what those things means

Simeon - At Purgatory Hall, reading the bible with Luke - Internal screeching

Solomon - Somewhere...just somewhere

Bonus 2: Lucifer after they stop screaming and watch them leave

(I tried to make it neutral gender but Im unsure if I did it right, if not please tell me so I can fix it! ;; )

#obey me! #obey me #obey me! shall we date? #obey me headcanons #obey me hc #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon

[yukimoji]

My World: Part 3 ( Tanjiro Kamado x Reader )

( a/n: hello! welcome to part 3 and the final part of the “my world” series! this became longer than i had initially expected, i apologize deeply for that. also, i'm sorry if it seemed like i shitted on kanao too much, im so sorry bby i still love u. take note there will be grammar errors and typos, bec im blind and i always seem to miss those errors rip. thank you all for following “my world”, and i hope you all enjoy! )

(also, how do u even write angst?? i tried my best and i hope ya’ll dont get too disappointed with my poor excuse of angst lololol)

Part 1 I 2 I 3

Total words: 6600+ words

Genre: Angst and Fluff

!!MAJOR, MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

Warnings: Mentions of blood

--

With each passing day, it felt like you were getting closer towards the edge of the line.

In a dark tunnel, you stood there, wandering aimlessly towards the light that could not be even seen for miles and miles. An endless loop of nothingness, as the feeling of dread, terror, and fear consumes you from the hidden depths of your mind.

You hoped and wished that one day you could see even a tiny glimpse of what lies ahead of you. Wondering if there's more to it than the endless bloodshed and horrors you've seen hundreds of times now.

But then, suddenly, a warm entity started to walk alongside you. A feeling as warm as the bright rays of the morning sun, and an inexplicable feeling of something accompanying you on your endless journey.

Even when immersed in darkness, the underlying warmth seemed to radiate from that figure. There was a tinge of happiness in your harsh world that made the road to the unseen light seem less lonely than before.

However, with every step, the distant light gets dimmer and darker.

And the warm feeling beside you blazes into a raging, roaring, sea of fire.

The morning after you received the heartfelt letter from Tanjiro, word broke out that Tanjiro, Inosuke, and Zenitsu had defeated Lower Moon One.

You were rejoiced to hear that your comrades had defeated another member of the Twelve Demon Moons. When you heard the news for the first time, you promptly darted to find the nearest pen and paper to congratulate the trio. However, you stopped dead in your tracks when your Kasugai Crow screeched out the status of the Hashira that the trio had accompanied.

Rengoku Kyojuro, the Flame Hashira, has died after an encounter with Upper Moon Three.

Your eyes were as big as saucers, as you stood there in shock. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Upper Moon 3? Hashira? Dead?

You've never really had a proper conversation with the Flame Hashira, but you've had high respects for him. The way he would hold his sword with pride and his never-ending sense of justice would always bring hope to you and your fellow slayers. You could still remember the words of encouragement he would say every time he would have encountered the lower ranks like you.

"Always set your heart ablaze!"

Hearing about the death of such an important figure in the Demon Slayer Corps made you tighten your jaw. Your hand clenches at the thought of someone so kind and strong had died of such a painful death. You inhaled tiny and long breaths as you try to calm yourself down from the frustration rising in your veins.

He would've wanted his death to inspire the Demon Slayers to fight harder, and you will. His fate will not be in vain as long as the Demon Slayer Corps will continue fighting on.

If you feel angry, you could only imagine as to how Tanjiro felt. Knowing the boy, he would've befriended and had grown attached to the fallen Hashira. Your face contorted into one of sadness. He would be distraught, seeing the Flame Hashira die in front of his very eyes.

You glanced at the paper and the pen at the corner of your vision, and decided to write to the Hanafuda-clad slayer. You went to grab the items and sat down to start writing your letter.

You couldn't be there to physically comfort him, you were too far away. You prayed that this letter would suffice, as you could not do anything more to console the Burgundy-haired boy.

--

Tanjiro made his way back towards the Butterfly Estate, after visiting the Rengoku Estate to deliver Kyojuro-san's final wishes. He gazed at the katana guard that was given to him by Senjoru, Kyojuro-san's little brother. He sighs sadly at the thought of the Flame Hashira, his words echoing in his mind.

"Live on and set your heart ablaze!"

Breathing out softly, his Crimson-hues looks upwards to the sky, staring at the moving clouds high above.

"CAW! A MESSAGE! A MESSAGE FOR KAMADO TANJIRO!"

"Yaah!" Tanjiro yells out in surprise at his crow's loud screeching, but his expression brightened at the sight of a letter attached to it's legs. He then puts his arm out to let the crow land on it.

"Thank you!" He affectionately pats the head of the crow, and proceeds to take the letter placed delicately on it's legs. The crow screeches once more, and takes off.

Tanjiro looks at the crow flying away, and returns his gaze towards the letter in his hands. He reads the message written in it, and can't help a smile forming from his lips.

"What can be done, is for us to not let it define our days to come. We can choose to heal, whilst bearing the scars, whether alone or with someone precious.

For as long as you want me to, I will be here for you."

I read that somewhere, but I couldn't remember where, hehe.

I'm sorry for what happened. I can't imagine what you're feeling, but I will always be here for you. Rengoku-san will not be forgotten, and he will always live in our hearts and memories.

Be kind to yourself, Tanjiro. You mean the whole world to me.

- [ L / N ] [ Y / N ]

Tanjiro chuckles softly at the letter, and holds it close to his chest. He sniffles as he flutters his eyes close, the corners of his mouth turning up into a thankful grin.

"Thank you, [ Y / N.]"

--

Months pass, another mission comes by after the completion of another mission. As the weeks gone by, you could find yourself growing stronger each passing day.

During your time apart, you and Tanjiro would often exchange letters. Usually, it was him describing his missions in full detail and how Zenitsu and Inosuke were doing as they worked alongside with each other. Every now and then, little scratches and odd pen marks will decorate the surface of the paper, which you could only assume is Nezuko's doing.

You, on the other hand, would also write about your missions. Occasionally, you would tell him about random stuff, little things on your mind as you go about your day.

One thing remains constant, though. The two of you would always end a letter with a heartfelt sentence that became your little way of saying "I love you" for each other.  

"You mean the whole world to me."

Today, me, Inosuke, and Zenitsu went to Yoshiwara with Uzui-san. He basically forced us to come with him, because he wouldn't stop harassing the poor girls back at the Butterfly Estate if we didn't go. He said he was looking for his three wives, as they stopped contacting him after going undercover to find a demon in the district. Can you believe it? Three wives?!

When we arrived, Uzui-san immediately dressed us up as girls and we were sent off to brothels where we could hopefully find the demon causing havoc in the area. Honestly, I'm kind of glad that you weren't here to see me. Not because I don't want you to be with me, no no no! I actually miss you so much and I just want see you again and I just-

It's because I looked absolutely ridiculous! Seriously, it was a miracle that I was able to pass up as a girl!

Anyway, it's my first night here, and so far, there's no sign of a demon. There's been rumors going around about young women suddenly committing suicide without explanation. There's something fishy going on around here, that's for sure.

I'm going to end my letter here. Tomorrow's another day, and we will do our best to make this mission a success.

Stay safe, [ Y / N ].

You mean the whole world to me.

- Kamado Tanjiro

Of course, there were moments where you were worried sick for the boy. When news broke out that the Sound Pillar and the trio defeated Upper Moon 6 in the Red Light District, you were absolutely ecstatic. Another Upper Moon had been slain, and you couldn't be more proud  for the trio.

That is, until Tanjiro abruptly stopped sending letters.

During those moments, you could only send letters to the Butterfly Estate, asking about Tanjiro's health and condition. You tried not to get your emotions get the best you, but you couldn't help it. Not when Tanjiro was laying in a bed, unconscious, and out of your reach.

You found comfort of the letters that replied to you. Kanao, the Butterfly Pillar's Tsuguko, started writing back to you, and kept you up-to-date of Tanjiro's well-being that would soothe your anxious nerves. You were thankful for her, as she would always write back to you every night without fail.  

Gradually, you began to get to know her, and eventually thought of her as a friend. Since she was a little shy, you gladly told her about your days and endless missions, and maybe a little bit of jokes and puns to lighten up her day.

It wasn't long too until she started talking about the things she liked, like how she enjoys blowing soap bubbles and considers it a hobby. She would also talk about how she likes sweets and accessories, squishing cat paws and helping with the cooking at the Butterfly Estate.

Who knew, that the girl who wrecked you mercilessly during your Rehabilitation training was actually such a lovely and adorable girl who enjoyed the little things in life?

When Tanjiro finally recovered, you never stopped sending letters to Kanao. She was a fun pen pal and a friend to have, because she would listen to each time you would either rant about your day or just say some dumb puns when you're too bored to function.

One day, Tanjiro told you that he was going to the Swordsmith Village to ask for a replacement for his sword. That night, he spoke of how the Love Pillar and the Mist Pillar were present in the village, and how he had the chance of speaking to Genya Shinazugawa, the Wind Pillar's younger brother.

For days on end, the Crimson-eyed slayer would tell you about a training doll that mimicked the strongest Demon Slayer who ever lived. He would rant endlessly, telling you about a swordsmith who trained him to the bone without food and water. He told you, one day, he accidentally smashed the doll into pieces, revealing a worn and old sword hidden inside of it.

You snickered, and you could already hear Tanjiro's voice, which was loaded with panic and anxiety, just by reading the contents of his letters.

You were pleasantly shocked the next day, when your Crow announced the news of the deaths of Upper Moon Five and Upper Moon Four.

Tanjiro was like a magnet for the Upper Moons, and you can't help but feel a heavy sensation in the depths of your stomach.

It felt like the calm before the storm, as after Tanjiro's experience in the Swordsmith Village, there was a rapid decline in Demon activity all across the country.

--

However, it seemed like the crow didn't exactly tell you everything regarding the Village's aftermath.

After what seemed like forever, you made your way back to the Butterfly Estate. Since demons have not been running all over the place, there weren't as much many missions as there was before. Your crow yelled at you to go back to the estate, but hey, you weren't complaining about that.

You couldn't contain the excitement, a giddy expression ever present on your face. Each step brought you closer to your destination, and as the Estate finally presented itself to your vision, you practically skipped your way in order to reach the area faster.

You heard shouting in the distance. There were cries of panic, seemingly asking someone to come back. You didn't stop your hurried pace, but your eyes widened in both joy and shock when you saw the familiar raven locks of your demon friend, who was now running towards you at full speed.

In broad daylight.

"[ Y/N ]! [ Y/N ]! [ Y/N ]!" Nezuko cries out in joy, jumping at you with all of her strength. You couldn't react on time as she lands on you, and the both of you tumbled to the ground. She was hugging you, a hand affixed on top of your head, patting it relentlessly.

"Oof! Hi, Nezuko!" You laughed at her antics, and hugged her back without hesitation.

You were confused, that's for sure. Even though you were absolutely overjoyed to see your friend, your mind was screaming confused thoughts on how on earth she was able to hug you underneath the blazing sun. Not only that, she was not wearing her usual bamboo muzzle and she spoke your name! She actually spoke! Her voice was absolutely adorable!

"Welcome back!" She cheered happily, and you already feel yourself melt into a puddle at how cute she was acting. She continued to nuzzle onto you, and you felt a sense of pride knowing that an incredibly cute and sweet girl was aggressively showering you with love and affection.

"EH?! [ Y / N ]'S BACK! SHE'S BACK!" You snapped your head to the source, and beamed at the sight of Zenitsu calling out to the residents of the estate, signalling your arrival.

"It's nice to see you again, Zenitsu!" You called out and waved at him, a bright smile present on your face. You couldn't really move, not when Nezuko wasn't done hugging you and spoiling you rotten with her affection.

Zenitsu's eyes widened for a second, until he began jumping around and screaming out a series of chants like the madman he is.

"REALLY? IT'S REALLY NICE TO SEE ME AGAIN?! AW! DON'T FLATTER ME, [ Y / N ]! YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME BEFORE THAT YOU HELD ME IN SUCH A HIGH REGARD! YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO ASK FOR MY HAND IN MARRIAGE!"

Your smile began to fade, and you could look at him with utter dismay as he proceeded to yell out nonsense.

But then, a familiar voice calls out. The voice that you've yearned to hear for months, as it makes your heart skip a beat as it gets louder and closer.

Tanjiro comes out from the estate, looking around frantically, a desperate expression evident in his gentle features. He looks at your direction and he goes stiff as a statue the moment he locks eyes with you. His eyes began to water, his lower lip quivering from the sight of you.

He races up to you, rivaling with the pace Nezuko had when she assaulted you. Instantaneously, he engulfs you in his loving embrace, and you couldn't hold back your giggles and laughter as he proceeded to wreak havoc on your face with little kisses.

Nezuko lets out a sound of pleasure and releases her hold on you. She watched her brother as he coddled you with so much attention, and she clapped happily at the sight.

After what seemed like ages, Tanjiro stopped attacking your face with kisses and raised a hand to softly caress your cheek. His crimson-hues looked at you with so much passion and adoration, and you gazed at him lovingly in reciprocation.

Slowly he leans in to you, his forehead brushing yours. The corners of his mouth are pulled up, a ridiculously goofy expression adoring his features. You could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks because of the close proximity to his face, but still, you gave him the biggest grin you could muster up.

He chuckles and closes his eyes, nuzzling on you as he holds you in his arms protectively.

"I missed you. So, so much." He breathes out, and you giggle as his warm breath fans your flushed face.

"I missed you too, you big baby." You fluttered your [ E / C ] close, holding him tight and not wanting to let go.

After months of hardship, stress, and pain, you find yourself once again welcomed by your home and your world.

You spent the next few days roaming around the estate, with Tanjiro beside you, holding your hand at every moment. Not just that, you've got to spend time in the garden with Nezuko again! Only this time, you were accompanied by the presence of Zenitsu, Inosuke, and even Kanao!

Each day was filled with laughter and joy. Even when the Hashiras decided to train every slayer in harsh training routines, your happiness never faded. Given the sweat and soreness of your muscles as you shift from one Hashira to another, you would always be rewarded with the sight of the bright stars shining brightly over all of you.

But one day, that happiness seemed to fade away. The devastation and cruelty that you had faced before came back from the ashes of the past, as each second escalated into the catastrophic hell that you were now forced to face.

One night, every Hashira unexpectedly went on a high alert. You couldn't understand what was going on, and you were even more perplexed when Tanjiro suddenly asked you to stay alert and left in a haste. You stood beside the campfire, confused, and you couldn't control the familiar feeling of dread swallowing you up again.

Your instinct was telling you that something terrible and unprecedented was about to happen. Your heart was thumping uncontrollably on your chest, as you started to sweat and tremble from the overwhelming feeling of uncertainty that made shivers run up to your spine.

Unfortunately, your fears were confirmed when a loud explosion was heard in the distance.

You gasped, as you felt the ground suddenly disappear. You couldn't respond quickly, your mind spinning out of control as you fell down to a fortress filled with demons that seemed to stretch out forever.

You breath hitched as you came back to your senses. You looked around, trying to find something or somewhere that could end your endless free fall. You felt a sense of hope as an area where you could land safely came into view. Your eyebrows were knit together, mouth clenching as you performed a breathing technique and landed swiftly at the edge of the structure.

The moment you landed, demons started to flock towards you. Your blood began to boil, rage rapidly overcoming you. You unsheathed out your sword, tightened your grip on the handle, and immediately slashed your way through the hordes of demons. It was then you realized, that it was the beginning of the end, and that it was going to be a long night.

In a blink of an eye, smiles turned into anger, laughter turned into screams, as what was once happiness was now destroyed and replaced by rage and anguish.

And whenever happiness is destroyed,

There's always the smell of blood.

--

Hours of endless bloodshed. Thousands upon thousands of casualties had rained upon the ranks of the Demon Slayer Corps. You had seen the brutal fighting with your very own eyes, and the rage only intensified with each life taken by the hands of those ruthless demons.

The Twelve Demon Moons had perished. But at the cost of their heads, were the lives of your mentors, comrades, and friends.

However, it finally seemed like their sacrifices were not in vain.

The sun had risen, and Muzan Kibutsuji howled out in pain as the sun's fiery rays started to burn him. He had taken the form of a large, hideous baby, as he desperately tries to hide away from the sun's burning gaze.

Almost everybody was severely injured; there were severed limbs, large gashes, and heavily bleeding wounds.  

Despite the overwhelming pain, the remaining slayers continued to fight on, too high on adrenaline and determination in order to bring Muzan to his demise. Everybody held on, performing everything they could do to make the Demon King roast under the sunlight and suffer for his crimes.

Right now, you were driving a bus, speeding towards the crawling abomination. You slammed on the pedals, accelerating at full speed as you rammed into the enormous, yet horrific excuse of a baby.

"Stay down, you bastard!" You yelled out, a dangerous glint twinkling in your eyes as you couldn't help the sides lips tugging up into smug smirk.

You jumped out of the vehicle right before a big hand smashed the front portion, as a voice commands you and nearby Kakushi to push the back portion to block Muzan from moving further. You all gathered together and pushed with all your remaining strength, yells of determination echoing out to stop Muzan from going further.

Your eyes widen as a large hand rises, but before he could smash you all into pieces, the Wind Pillar successfully cut off it's hand on time. You all continued to push, but Muzan was starting to overpower you all and was slowly going over the vehicle.

Then, you heard the loud clank of chains, and saw the monster stumble back as a large chain had wrapped itself on the demon's neck, forcing him to stay in place. You all moved out, and went to the Stone Pillar, aiding him by holding him in place as he uses all his power to grip unto the chains in order to pin the beast down. Muzan hollered out, as he continued to burn under the sun.

Determined to find shade and escape death, the huge monstrosity resorted to dig himself into the earth. The Hashiras then took turns attacking the abomination, attempting to wear off its stamina. All hope seemed lost, as the chains, and all of your energy rapidly depleted as Muzan continued his struggle.

Then, against all odds, the demon throws his head back in a final, ear piercing scream. Gigantic tears fell down from it's hideous face, and after what seemed like eternity, it's body finally crumbled into nothingness.

There was a pause. You all held your breath, the heavy tension in the air suffocating you all. Disbelief was evident on your faces, as you could not properly process what had just gone down.

Then, you all erupted into loud yells of victory.

Muzan is dead. The Demon Slayers had won.

You all cried out in happiness. Centuries of battle, bloodshed, and death finally bearing its fruit. Everyone embraced each other, beaming smiles present in every slayer's face as the shouts of triumph echoed across the battlefield.

"It's not over yet!" A Kakushi yells out, "Stand up! Treat the wounded! Don't cry, you fools, stay focused! We can save them!" You all looked around, and saw the bodies of several Hashira and Demon Slayers slumped up all around. The celebration ceased as everybody started to scatter; newly found strength flooding them as they sought out to save the heavily injured.

In your peripheral vision, you saw Kanao hunched up and unconscious, and she was being tended by several Kakushi. You ran up to her, and your jaw clenched as you observed the injuries and blows she had taken. You kneeled down, and asked for one of them for bandages so you could help patch up your friend.

As you started to wrap up some of Kanao's injuries, lilac hues started to flutter open. She takes a moment to look at her surroundings, and when she sees you and a few Kakushi patching her up, her lips formed a small yet grateful smile.

"...Thank you."

Your eyes darted to look up to the voice, you gasped in relief and your expression brightened as Kanao weakly gives you a wry smile.  

You stared at her, the corners of your mouth tugging up and your eyes flickering with gratitude. After wrapping her wounds, you gently took her hand and encased it with your own.

"We won, Kanao." You whispered. Shutting your eyes close, you recalled the memories of how hard she fought against Muzan, along with Zenitsu, Inosuke, and the Hashiras. The ravenette just paused, and her mouth falling open as she was reflecting on what you had just told to her. Then, she breathes out in delight, and slowly raised her other hand to caress your own. Kanao's whole face lit up, and she beams at you, nodding her head in appreciation.

But then, suddenly, in the corner of her vision, something captures Kanao's attention. She stiffened, and her hand started to tremble under your gentle hold. Her forehead furrowed and she struggled to find her voice.

" [ Y - Y / N ]-chan..!"

You opened your [ E / C ] eyes, and glanced at your friend's facial features. You grew concerned, trying to make sense as to why she was shaking and sweating so much. Then, loud shouts began to echo and you felt a heavy sensation start to enclose your chest. You started to tremble, the loud yells becoming more frantic by each second. The feeling of dread returned, seemingly to taunt you as goosebumps rapidly washed over you. The girl returned her attention to your bewildered expression, her lilac orbs filled with worry and regret.

You hesitantly turned around and looked to where Kanao had her gaze on to figure out the source of her behavior. Instantaneously, your eyebrows elevated, a hand immediately clasping your mouth. Your eyes welled up in tears and the cries of distress escaped away as you stomached in the scene before you.

You stared ahead to meet the figure of your beloved Tanjiro.

But he didn't look like your Tanjiro.

A beast roared out, screaming and assaulting any being that was attempting to get close to him. You saw a glimpse of Zenitsu and Inosuke trying to hold back your transformed lover, the Water Pillar frantically yelling orders not get close to the boy, but to no avail.

It felt like the whole world had shattered right before your very eyes. You struggled to swallow back the bile rising to your throat, your breathes becoming more erratic as the hot tears endlessly fall from your eyes. You become absolutely racked with sobs, the heavy feeling on your chest intensifying to the point of suffocating you.

"Stop crying!"  You mentally scold yourself. "Now is not the time to cry! You have to help! You have to save him!"

But you couldn't move. You couldn't speak. You couldn't do anything but wail out in absolute heartbreak as Tanjiro further succumbed into hysteria.

No matter how hard you tried, your feet were glued to the ground. Your mind hurled insults, screaming at you to step forward, to run, and try to save your beloved. You could only look up to the heavens, reciting a silent prayer pleading to every Deity who was listening to stop this madness.

In the midst of your emotional turmoil, you have flashes of what once was. You recall how Tanjiro would hold you in moments of peace, how his eyes would fill up with tenderness and love whenever you locked eyes with him, and how his beaming smile seemed to brighten up even your darkest days.

Your heart continues to pound painfully in your chest as you gasp out endless incoherent breathes. You could hear his loving voice resonate in your head, your cries becoming more erratic at the thought that you could never hear his warmth-filled sound again.

"You mean the whole world to me, [ Y / N ]."

You could only look helplessly as the now human Nezuko began to cry out to her corrupted brother, holding him in place so that he could no longer hurt more people. Tanjiro continued to screech and thrash in the sister's grasp, his screams releasing powerful waves of energy that would blowed away anyone who had even dared to come near him.

Zenitsu and Inosuke were swept away by the strong shockwaves, but Nezuko never weakened her grasp, as she continues to hold on to her brother desperately. Tanjiro dropped down, the sound of the tearing cloth ringing around as massive and sharp tentacles exploded out of his back. Zenitsu cries out, terror overtaking his face as he desperately reaches out to save Nezuko.

But something still puzzles you. Your stomach still twisted at the sight of Nezuko bleeding, but what was perplexing was that Tanjiro declined to bite his sister. Even though he had a taste of his sister's blood, he resisted and refused to attack her.

Maybe, just maybe, your Tanjiro was still there, fighting to break free from his eternal prison.

"[ Y / N ]-chan." Kanao calls out. You snap out of you emotional daze and faced the girl. She looked at you with a hopeful expression, and she takes out a small box from her belt.

"We can still save him..." She starts, opening the box to reveal an injection. "My master gave this to me, and she said that this is medicine made out of Wisteria flowers that could turn demons back into humans."

Kanao coughs up blood, her face scrunching up as she groans out in discomfort. She stumbles forward because of the pain, and you instantly hold her to prevent her from falling to the ground. She looks up to you, and gives you a sad smile.

"Tanjiro turned into a demon just now. Even if I could evade his attacks with one eye, my injuries could get the best of me." She coughs again, placing a hand to her re-opened wound on her waist. She takes your hand and places the injection on it.

"There's still time, [ Y / N ]. Tanjiro loves you too much to even raise a hand at you."  

You looked down at the injection, your eyes filled with renewed determination. You nodded in agreement, then took long breaths to calm yourself down. You knew what you needed to do, and now, you could save him.

You wiped the trails of dried tears on your face, eyebrows drewn together as your expression hardened. Tightening your grip on the object, you stood up and turned around to confront Tanjiro.

"Thank you." You breathed out, forever grateful to Kanao for giving you this oppurtunity.

You inhaled deeply, oxygen rapidly flooding your veins. You could feel your muscles become stronger each second, as adrenaline fills you once more. Bursts of energy traveled all across your body, giving you the courage and power you needed to pull this off. You focused your strength on your legs, and in a flash, you dashed towards your lover.

"Tanjiro.."

The demon takes notice of a presence rapidly approaching him. He growls and turns his attention towards you. Scowling, he screeches loudly, tentacles aggressively whipping around at all angles to attack you.

"When this is all over, let's make our own world,"

You looked up to meet his eyes, and you were with scarlet ones, which were filled with hatred and rage. Your breathe hitches momentarily as a shiver ran up to your spine.

"A world where no one could tears us apart."

Tanjiro had never looked at you with such hostility before. However, you didn't let that faze you as you continuously dodged his never ending assaults against you.

"Enough is enough, Tanjiro."

You jumped and evaded the whips his tentacles threw at you. Then, an opening presents itself, your eyes dilating and you bolted even closer until you came face to face with the demon.

"You musn't make Nezuko cry."

Tanjiro howls out loudly, and he raises a hand with the intent to smash you. You quickly caught the glimpse of his clenched fist, and you leapt, avoiding his arm as it plunged downwards with such speed and strength.

"Come back to us, and you won't be ever lost again,"

You swore everything looked like it was in slow motion. In that moment, a bright light engulfed your surroundings. Your body flew above the demon, and when his back came into full view, you immediately pushed the cure into him. Tears shone in your [ E / C ] orbs, as a love-filled smile appeared on your features.

You didn't even feel the pain when a rouge tentacle managed to successfully pierce itself into you. Your tender gaze never left the boy, and you finally breathed out in relief. You fluttered your eyes close, and you tumbled helplessly against the surface.

"You are the whole world to me."

"[ Y / N]!" Nezuko calls out to you, her face contorted into one of pure horror as she watches your body make harsh contact with the ground.

Suddenly, Tanjiro stops moving. His tentacles ceased it's assaults, and slowly, but surely, it retreats back into his body. The boy to started to shake uncontrollably, exhaling out heavy breathes as his eyes trembled wildly as he stares at the sight of your injured body.

With all the remaining strength you could muster up, you looked up to the demon. Instead of the hatred and rage you had saw moments ago, Tanjiro's Scarlet-hues were filled with regret. Tears ran down his cheeks, sadness clouding over his demonic features.

You inhaled softly, and with each passing moment, you saw his eyes slowly turn back into the Crimson colored orbs that you loved so much. As seconds pass by, your vision began to darken. Exhaling out in exhaustion, you felt thankful that you get to see a glimpse of your Tanjiro once more. You heard loud shouts resound through the field, feeling something tending to your wounds before your sight was further consumed by darkness as you fell into unconsciousness.

--

" -Ma..?"

" -Ma!"

"Mama!"

You jolt up in surprise, trying to catch your breath as cold sweat falls down from the side of your face.

You take a moment to observe your surroundings, and you could find yourself sitting in a bench that was located at an open lake. Sakura trees were abundant, and their beauty was obviously not overlooked as pink blossoms flew around with the cool spring breeze. Flora was flourishing all over, and the sounds of the little animals living in the lake was prominent.

A nightmare? You thought. Sighing deeply, you let yourself fall back in the bench where you were sitting on. A small hand shakes on your own frantically, as you turned your head and smiled softly as a gigantic pair of eyes, clearly filled with worry, gazed into your own.

"I'm sorry, Takeo. Did Mama scare you?" You chuckled, as the child in front of you pouts and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Stop dozing off like that! I was really worried when you started to cry in your sleep again!" Takeo exclaims out, puffing out his cheeks as he stomped on his foot in annoyance.

You laughed at his antics, your melodic voice echoing across the peaceful lake. You leaned forward and raised a hand to gently pat your son's head. The boy looked almost the same as you, seeing as he inherited your complexion, your facial features, and even your [H / C] hair.

There was one thing, though, that distinguished him from looking like a complete carbon copy of you.

He had Crimson colored eyes that he inherited from his father.

Takeo continues to huff out in annoyance, but he couldn't fight the flush rising up to his face from your act of affection towards him. Whether he was going to deny it or not, it was an irrefutable fact that he loved getting his head pats. As you observed Takeo's features, you felt warmth and tenderness embracing your chest. You pulled your hand away from his head and just chuckled at his failed attempts of trying to look angry at you.

"Papa asked me to fetch you, ya know.." Takeo mumbles, his Crimson-orbs looking away from you in embarrassment. "He says that Aunt Nezuko and Uncle Zenitsu are coming over today, along with Uncle Inosuke and Aunt Kanao. He figured that you would be glad to see them again."

"I see." You whispered. Your mouth slowly into a grin, and you nodded gratefully. You felt excitement and joy bubble up in you, as you beamed brightly to your son. "Thank you, Takeo. I'm absolutely delighted to hear that they're coming to visit today."

Slowly, you stood up from the bench, one hand holding on your son's arm for support and the other caressing your swollen belly. You looked up to the heavens, eyes sparkling with gratitude as a thankful sigh escaped from your lips. You shifted your attention away from the blue sky, and softly held your son's hand as you began your way back home.

"Let's go home, shall we?"

Once upon a dream, you never thought the possibility of true love coming to you all your life.

Growing up in a demon infested world, life seemed to be fond of throwing you into hardships and struggle. Despite the horrors of the world, you always persevered. For every challenge that has been hurled towards you, the tribulations have only made you grow stronger and better.

Your life may had started out roughly, but that doesn't mean that it did not change for the better. The endless bloodshed had become relics of the past, moments of time that helped shape the world as it is now.

Recalling those moments of uncertainty, the rays of sunlight peeking through what was once the dark and gloomy clouds had now completely engulfed your life with warmth and tenderness. What you once wanted to experience all those years ago, has now become your reality. The little bits of happiness that you yearned for, now held onto you, never wanting to leave any time soon.

As you get closer to your home, you could hear the voices of children laughing and playing. Soon, you saw a glimpse of your humble abode, and little kids that looked similarly to you and your husband came into view. Takeo releases his hold on you, and he excitedly makes his way towards his siblings. Your expression brightened, a permanent smile present on your face as you took in the sight of your children frolicking around with happiness evident in their faces.

Then, a warm hand snakes over your waist, pulling you towards a broad chest that belonged to your lover. You couldn't contain your giggles as your face was immediately assaulted by small pecks and kisses. His hanafuda earrings seemed to ring each time he moved his head, his long ponytail swaying alongside with the cool breeze. His crimson-eyes gleamed in adoration as he gazes into your own, an adorable grin affixed in his lips as he continued to lock you in his protective embrace.

Sakura petals flew all around, encasing your surroundings with a sense of peace and serenity. After years of struggle, you can finally wake up in the morning without the likelihood of a horrible and painful death looming over you, as your cruel and dark world was now behind you.

Those dark days were long over. Now that you had finally avenged your family and the numerous deaths Muzan Kibutsuji has inflicted upon humanity, you could finally spend the rest of your life in peace.

Now, you had finally found a place to call your home. With him, you had created a whole new world. A world that was overflowing with love and happiness. Now that he would always stay by your side, you won't have to be lost anymore.

Tanjiro lifts up a hand to softly caress your cheek, gazing at you with so much love and adoration. The corners of his mouth quirked up as he fluttered his eyes close and slowly leaned forward. Your expression softened, and you chuckled softly as you put your arms around his shoulders. Your eyelids close shut as you felt your chest swell up with so much emotion, as his lips finally captured yours into a love-filled kiss.

"You are the whole world to me, [ Y / N]."

( a/n: thank you, thank you, thank you so much for following “my world”! it means so much to me that some of you had taken a liking on this series :’D im sorry if there were mistakes and ooc-ness along the way;;;

thank you for reading, and stay safe! you all mean the whole world to me <3)

#tanjiro x reader #tanjirou x reader #tanjiro kamado x reader #tanjirou kamado x reader #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #demon slayer imagines #tanjiro kamado #tanjirou kamado #kamado tanjiro #kamado tanjirou #kny #kimetsu no yaiba tanjirou #reader insert #kimetsu no yaiba imagines

[gingkinnie]

Please write an essay if you are willing and able! Interested to hear your thoughts!

okay so this will definitely be controversial and i want to hear people’s thoughts on this because i don’t have the same experiences with my parents as other people do so i can’t comment on the effects ging has had on gon, but i do think ging didn’t do any of it on purpose. first, i am basing this on the head canon (that i fully believe is true now) that ging used the pregnancy rock to have gon, so he doesn’t actually have a mother. because of this, i’m assuming ging didn’t really want a kid, but instead wanted to test out the card (and we all know what happened next LMAO). he was around 19 at the time if i’m not mistaken which is very young to have a kid, at least from my point of view. he kept gon for 2 years i think???? but then he probably realized it would be irresponsible to travel around and do the dangerous things he wanted to if he brought a 2 year old child with him so he gave him up to mito who he knew would care for him. personally, i think this was the best choice he could’ve made, but it did leave gon wondering why he wasn’t good enough to keep which makes me really sad, but i truly don’t think that was gings intention. again, he was around 21 and still had a career he wanted to pursue that wouldn’t allow him to take care of a child. yes that maybe selfish but i think he knew it would’ve been worse if he took gon with him.

okay the next thing is the part about him setting up a bunch of obstacles for gon in order to find him. now this i’m a little unsure of (i’d have to rewatch some of it) but i genuinely think he wanted gon to see greed island because he thought it was sick as hell and he took gon there when he was a little baby boy. i don’t think he really thought of the consequences of putting all this pressure on gon - he probably just wanted him to win because he made it while he was there (and on top of that gon is his son and he probably expected gon to have the same adventurous spirit as he did). i do agree it was shitty for him to take gon and killua to kite but that was because he is canonically too anxious to meet new people.

this also ties into the election arc where many people have problems with him (and rightfully so). the big problem was the fact that he never visited gon when he was on his deathbed. yeah that’s a pretty shitty thing to do but he genuinely had faith that gon would survive, meaning he was planning on seeing gon after that. it’s not like he was saying “lmao well i guess he’s dead.” IM NOT SAYING HE SHOULDNT HAVE VISITED HIM!!! he definitely should have but he knew he wasn’t going to die which makes it a little better i guess?

the next problem people have with him is that he wasn’t really excited to see gon when he burst into the election room thingy. we have to realize that this man did not even want to see gon when he brought ONE other person with him because he was too anxious and shy. let alone in front of HUNDREDS of people!! he was probably shaking in his knee high dollar store boots. i really don’t think he was embarrassed of gon, it was more so that he was embarrassed in general because he was the center of attention. he then told gon to meet him on the world tree which is essentially a spot that would be isolated from other people. they had a lil talk which made me so happy and now ging calls him all the time which is so cute?? and gon thinks of him as his “cool uncle” which i think is way more fitting and relieves a lot of pressure from both gon and ging.

PLEASE feel free to disagree with me!! i am clearly very biased because i really like gings character and i mostly consume pariging content so i’m not as deep into gon lore if that makes sense. i’m fully aware that a lot of gings actions have negatively affected gon in irreversible ways, but the point i’m trying to make is that he never purposely tried to damage gon like that and i honestly believe he’s realized what he did and tried to make up for it by talking with him on the tree and calling him all the time:)

#i didn’t proofread this so take it as you will #please don’t cancel me i’m just really ging biased rn #a lot of this is speculation too so you can totally disagree with me i wont be mad LMAO #also i don’t mean to offend anyone by this🥺 #i will take it down if someone asks me too #ging #ging freecss #hxh

[rpausandwhatifs]

Is This What You Call...Safety?|| Hush Hush

A/N: This is for my friend Jayde for her belated birthday! Enjoy bb!

@ledabunnie-rp @nevergoodenoughforthetruth

Vincent had came to work, but he had gone through his load entirely too fast. He was mostly at the hands of one guy- and he was the host. However, it was too late to really think about it before the drugs had set in, causing the man to stumble and fumble as the pills he took before the party mixed with the lean in the cup he finished while making sales. He was a blurry mess and somehow guided his way to the closest bathroom he found in a part of this rented house where most of the goers in this area were having sex or chatting it up so they could hear. He pushed past them, going into the first open door and falling into it. “Oh..fuck..” he muttered as he almost collided with the wall, feeling the tile and touching the wall as the spinning continued and he found his way into the toilet, vomiting immediately before finding the flush lever.

Leda forgot that she didn’t lock the door, so the really cute boy in the skin tight chinos and boots with the long hair barged in it scared her half to death. She put her 3DS down and slid her headphones off, about to bang on the glass chamber that was the stand alone shower until something stopped her and it just made her watch the man try to recover as he lit a cigarette. 

The man propped himself up and crawled to the top of the toilet and threw the lid down as he took another drag, trying to see where the light switch was even though there was a hue of red and purple from the string lights. Quickly giving up on his adventure he threw up one more time into the bowl and sat up on the closed toilet, dragging his cigarette while he let the cool porcelain calm him down. He heard the distant movements in the shower and pryed one eye open to barely see a girl with turquoise hair in a rave outfit with a backpack or something staring at him in a clear box. "Who's in the shower?" He calls out, rocking his head back and forth fighting the nausea.

"I'm here in spirit..I don't exist," Leda said back, weary at how he was able to spot her.

"That's the most human thing I've ever heard from a spiritual entity," he laughs and scoffs, "That's a cute voice you got, you have a name oh spirit?"

"I'm... not telling you that.." she said, "And you die from a heart attack in here im not saving you."

"Are...you... you're in here.. you're human- fuck i can't see- are you in the shower? Is that why you sound like that?" He asked with a small joke, "Wanna cigarette?"

"Maybe.. if you can't see then how are you smoking and offering me one?" She challenged him.

"Muscle memory. You'd be surprised how many things you can do automatically.. Just with your arms and hands..." he trailed off, "Also you didnt drink out of the cup when you got here? You sound like... crazy sober."

"No..I didn't, Felix told me about it before the party and I just-"

"Wanted to keep your clout you came to this party even though you didn't want to, but you didn't wanna let your friends down, but you didnt wanna just sit at home on a Friday night again..I heard something close, did you bring a video game?" He said.

"Shut the fuck up, Vincen-"

"Ohhh you do know me... interesting. It must be because of Felix... speaking of, wonder who he's got down his throat...Ah, I'll worry about it later...I thought I knew his friends.." he muses, I would remember an ethereal voice like yours.."

"I...I..." she was stuck, she shouldn't have said his name, "Thanks for the compliment, can you go back to quietly being too fucked up on drugs to acknowledge me now?"

"Actually...I've overstayed my welcome at this place anyway.. there's a guy in here and he's... less than thrilled his house got rented out for the debauchery that is horny college students," he mentioned, slowly lowering himself on the floor and crawling to Leda, placing himself against the wall, facing straight ahead with the girl in what would be his peripheral.

Leda's ears perked up, he knows there's a spirit in here? Was he just pulling her leg or what? His eyes were still closed but his voice sounded way better up closer than across the large bathroom. The crackles and creaks of it made her nervous. "There isn't anyone in here," she claims supposedly.

"No... he's dead. The house was sold to a PM that rents houses out for events and vacations..he likes the renovation though...He showed me he carried you in here," Vincent said, "You woke up and immediately tried to protect yourself in the shower."

"Now you're making shit up," she called out wrapping on the glass box.

"If I'm making shit up then how'd you get in here?" He asked and was met with silence, "You don't remember... do you?..He told me you just kinda walked out your house with the lights on.. guess he didn't want you to get hurt- but seriously, how did you not drink the syrup at the door?"

"I poured it out when no one was looking and washed out the cup with vodka and hoped an appletini would calm me down.. cus I got really anxious being around everybody pushing everyone and the music is too loud..." she started, drawing her knees to her chest, "He scared the shit out of me."

Vincent laughed, "Yeah that's how i was when i saw him standing in the middle of the room... Did you want the cigarette? Also i have a valium if you want one.."

Leda smiled when he laughed, feeling way better that someone other than her could see spirits and understood possession. She knew what valium was, and just one couldn't hurt with a cigarette cutting it up, "He tell you how he died?"

"Wife poisoned him.. then shot him.. didn't take the divorce very well... sounds like a gold-digging bitch anyway," Vincent said as he used his to light another for her.

"Wow... you don't wanna share?" She gasped quietly as she slid her hand out of a crack in the door to take the cig.

"That.. would mean I get closer... didn't think you'd want that.. you know who I am..I'm the drug dealer on this campus... You don't know what I'm capable of.." he warns her, finally looking into the glass at the door, "I sold all the things I have so anything at this point is personal stock.. but..I couldn't keep a freebie from a cutie like you holy shit...If I could see you like he showed me, I dunno if I could contain myself.. What color is your hair?" He leans into the glass as his head starts spinning again almost muttering his words. He gets up and takes out a Tic-Tac, fumbling his way to the sink and crunching on it as he washed his mouth out on the faucet, wetting his face and wiping it on a towel before bringing the damp cloth to the floor. He stumbled back to the huge glass chamber on his hands and knees, opening the door and crawling over her and excusing himself before settling next to her.

Leda was shaken to her core at his words, and forgot that he was probably on a few different drugs and high on something else. She couldn't get her mouth to open to create the words. She quickly forgot the question and watched with wide eyes as she no longer was terrified of opening the door when Vincent pushed it back and crawled to her. She was almost shaking as he excused himself. "Purple a-and pink," she stammered, "I have to dye it again..I'm doing black with tips.."

"Hm..i see," Vincent said with a weak nod, pushing his wet hair back again as he exhaled, "I'm sorry I'm trying to come down and this shit is coming in like... waves and.. fuck~"

"What is it specifically?" She asked, taking him in, he looks so interesting yet her eyes darted back to the toilet across the room, "And don't worry I don't need the valium right away..”

"Ah shit right.. the valium.. doing what weed has done for years since the 70s," he chided as he fished a pill bottle out of his pocket, then handing her two pills of different shape and color.

"What's that?" She quickly asked.

"Muscle relaxant..that's for you too..helps the valuim, no psychoactive side effects to speak of...reduces lactic acid," he mentioned, relighting her cig, "I have friends in pharmaceutical chemistry.. they really hook me up and in return they get paid in weed.. down the hatch."

Leda's heart was racing at how he sounded so close to her, lighting her up like a gentleman even as a slumped mess. She smoked quietly as he had fallen into another unconscious stupor while the drugs were doing their job. They were working faster than she expected. "Vincent..." she called to the ceiling, "I'm tired.."

"I thought you would be..i forgot to tell you it acts fast.. but you're fine I promise," he mentioned.

"No I feel amazing, I just...I need something soft to lay on," she sighed.

"How about we go to one of the suites?" He offered, "I can see now if my legs will work."

They get up, getting out of the bathroom in search for unoccupied rooms. Settling on the empty pool house, where they found an open skylight in the bathroom since the doors were locked. They bust in and find the bedroom, resuming their conversation in this California simple and dainty king bed.

"Why'd you lock the bathroom door?" She asked as she lit her own cig even though she just begged him for it.

"You always do that at college parties if you create another entrance to the bathroom.." he said simply laying back on the end of the bed with his legs planted to the floor, bending his head up to see the girl snuggled in his jacket, twisting his body to lay on his stomach, "uhhmm yeah, you lock the door behind you at any party because frat boys with give you a swirly or worse..or someone who's eager to use the bathroom and they're too fucked up to be aware so they do it on you-"

"Ugh that's gross!" She exclaimed, laughing lightly, really allowing herself to enjoy this guy that she barely knew and at most should have hated. He just was so sweet and up her alley for her to ever admit but he undoubtedly made an effort to come to this party for her. She hadn't realized until she looked down and saw him looking up at her again from her feet. She could kill for his eyes and the way he collapsed on her legs to just touch them, it was sending electricity as dull needy aches through her body. "Vincent~... what are you doing?"

"Admiring your body... listening to you talk.. thinking about how i can get my jacket back," he croaks stretching a little, lightly throwing his head back on the bed, "What you thinking?"

"Have you come down yet?" She asked cutely, and instantly panicked at her casual feelings of interaction with him.

"Not all the way, I'd have to sleep it off mostly or something...sex also resets the clock, but...we're not doing that," he mentions while he rubs his eyes, checking his phone.

Her chest caved when he mentioned sex, and even though he wasn't offering it up, she just wondered what it would feel like to be that close with a guy like him. If this is all he usually did, outside of being a homewrecker as she's heard, then maybe he's not a creep. Girls do lie in college for any reason, but always putting themselves at an advantage. "Uhh.." seeped out of her mouth before she bit her lip and tried to disguise that.

"You know I'm looking right at you, right?" He says to her, giggling at her embarrassment, "Don't feel like you have to...I know you've got a problem with peer pressure-"

"I don't!...I don't have a problem with peer pressure..shut up!" She bit at him.

"Rawr...calm down kitty cat, put the claws away..Im just saying. Me mentioning sex kinda made you think," Vincent said, "When's the last time you got some..if you have gotten any- cus I have came across a few virgins..."

"Were they virgins when you were done with them?" She asked tongue in cheek.

"Mostly. I respeected that they didn't want sex...and they're firm in their beliefs that they're still a virgin if thou therein whereto receive or produce cunnilingus... they just want neverending head. It's heroine to them," he explains gesticulating to make it interesting and twisting his voice.

"Isn't that a good thing?" She asked, loosening her grip on the pillow she was holding.

"I don't mind it... but sometimes they're horrible at head and that's all they can do. Girls at this school count the ass too, so even face-fucking is a far cry."

"Oh..okay...Uhhh..I haven't thought about it, honestly.. been kinda dealing with my issues over having sex. The stories I hear about hooking up really have weirded me out.." she's admitted.

"Are you a virgin?" He asked, exaggerating his inflection.

"Unfortunately no.. well, I consider myself a born-again...I don't really remember a lot of the sex I used to have, and since it was... traumatic, to say the least, I'd rather act like it didn’t happen and get more memorable experiences, cus...I heard it's fun if done right," she explained.

"It is...I'll keep it in mind.." he nodded with a smirk, sighing as a weak wave passed thru him.

"Yeah.. but.. you've peaked my curiosity, honestly," she jumped up to say, causing Vincent to turn his head and raise an eyebrow.

"I hardly think that's fair," he said with a giggle, "You took a valium and a muscle relaxant..you'll never cum or cum too much. Im fucked up, and not exactly of consenting or open to communicating during sex like you might need me to..."

"That's... true.. then why touch my legs if you weren't going to?" She asked, a little frustrated, kicking her legs a little.

"See? That's what I'm talking about!... Acting like a brat when you haven't asked for anything," he said, giggling.

"But...I..." she started, realizing herself that he was right.

"You didn't straight up ask for sex.. you implied that it interests you..I can't start anything off implications," he explained, sitting up.

"I know how consent works, don't fucking patronize me!" She snapped shoving his chest with her foot. He falls back and rolls his eyes, which makes her more riled up, throwing his jacket on the floor.

"Leda.. what the fuck?" He asked sitting up on his knees to look at his jacket, "What the hell is your problem?"

"Don't act all fucking innocent! I know you.. you're a damn dog and you would've had me 5 ways to Sunday by now! Rosanna told me how creepy and controlling you are-"

"Thaaaaat's who it is... see i knew it sounded familiar.. You're her rogue drone! I just didn't realize... are you spying on me? Did she send you?" He jumped up once he realized why she knew him, her name would come up with he spoke to Rosanna, possibly whenever they were speaking again.

"Wh-No! She's not even at this party! She's with Mark!" She fussed, "It doesn't mean she's wrong..."

"Uh that's exactly what the fuck it means-"

"Why should I listen to you?" She prodded, folding her arms.

"You've got this fucking far! Wouldn't you want to at least understand my side? Ms. Confectionery Prodigy got some skeletons of her own," he was quick to explain how they had a fleeting relationship that was mostly roleplay meetings and oral and heavy petting. Leda wasn't entirely convinced and he made her promise not to tell anyone before he showed their messages leading up until the first 3 months she was dating Mark. It was Ro no doubt. Her fantastical language and promptness in response, pastry emojis as her signature. Cookie's toys in her explicit pictures.

"That's ridiculous..so she just left you for dead?" Leda asked, knowing she just swore never to speak of this, but she had some questions because he'd seen a side of her not even Mark has seen. And probably never will. "Why?" She asked simply.

"Said I reminded her of her ex. She was in deep with the guy.. he was older so she felt like her freedom in her youth had kinda been held back, so she went after me and Mark because she just... found herself in the middle of being young at heart but feeling grown and confident...I guess.. but she's always worried about her lies being found out and she loves a secret if she can help it," he said with a shrug, "They way she spoke about him, I'd love to drink with him, but, she's just happy where she is and who was I to stop her? If she hadn't made me a villain then she would have lost everything- from her confidence to her credibility."

"So you just... leave her alone? That's..that's," Leda was almost at a loss, but it was both the most mature and childish and high school thing she had ever heard. This felt like the heaviest thing she's encountered in a while.

"Not for you to think about," Vincent said, quickly and low as he had inched closer to brush her hair behind her ear, "Humans are complex creatures.. weaving these dangerous webs of lies and history.. you should always worry about your own but don't ever give anyone the benefit of the doubt.."

Leda couldn't handle his gentle touch or his words, she wanted to still be mad and hate him for it but she didn't know how. She wanted to be mad at Ro for being such a hypocrite but most of that was pushed back when she felt his lips on her jawline. It made her shudder and lean into him, submitting herself into the kiss that could replace her first kiss. She wanted more, she wanted him. Her mouth pushed out little sounds against him, whining quietly when he pulled back and breathed with a smile. "Vincent~" she breathed, her head in a tizzy.

"You want it don't you?" He asked, his lower voice sending shivers through her body.

"Can I have more, though, ..of what you gave me?" She asked, "I-"

"Later, okay?.. You'll be fine without it," he interrupted her with a soft smile and backing up to give her space to breathe and rubbing her back.

“Uhm...I feel like-”

“You’re overwhelmed...it’s okay. You seem confused, and it scares you a little...”

“I wouldn’t say it scares me..I just have never related to someone I now wish I hadn’t met..so much so..Because..Rosanna...Rosanna would-” the girl gasped and controlled her hollow breathing, definitely happy she had his hand on her back to focus on.

“You don’t know what Rosanna would do..and you really thought you’d known her..is that it?” he asked.

“Y-Yes!..N-No~! I-I mean...I don’t know how I feel~ I’m really into you, but...but why me?!” she asked looking at him with slight exasperation.

“You look like you deserve not to be living in someone’s shadow just because you don’t see yourself that way,” he answered.

“Is that what you said to Rosanna?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.

“No..what I said to Rosanna to start our whole fling is..vastly different from just us talking about a mutual friend-”

“What about my current state makes you think I’m gonna be friends with her-”

“You wouldn’t throw her away for me..”

Leda leered at the Vincent and clenched her jaw, knowing that this whole night was something she’d throw her whole life away just so she’d know where in the world he’d whisk her away to and for how long. “And what if I did?” she asked at a low whisper.

“What do you think you’d deserve for doing that? Because I definitely didn’t ask you to renounce your gods and join my great legion of the undead...”

“This would totally work if I was a Virgo or a Taurus, but I’m a Leo, so you must not understand-”

“I’m a Sagittarius, and I’m attempting to be very patient but since I know I don’t have to I’ll call you stupid to your face. That would be one of the dumbest decisions you could make but the fact that I make you feel like you’d rather make that decision than live with the ‘what-ifs’ or knowing that you could never look at Rosanna the same way again because I arouse you intellectually and emotionally-”

“Don’t forget sexually-”

“And sexual- Really?” Vincent looked over at her.

“You talk a lot, I see why she liked you...” 

“You hate talking about yourself-”

“I can talk about myself-”

“You can’t even tell me you want to have sex with me let alone that you like me..also, I feel like that should be thought about after tonight...given the circumstances,” Vincent sitting up, backing away from her more. It causes the girl to stare at him at the loss of touch completely, pushing out a frustrated sigh. The air was tight to her, but Vincent rolled his eyes and pulled the glass rod from his jacket pocket in front of her and smoked out of it.

“So...could you maybe stop being an aloof prick and explain to me how to get laid?” she said while pulling the ponytail out of her hair and taking the rod from his fingers and smoking out of it.

“You want to fuck me specifically or you want some faceless hookup?” he asked giggling.

“What exactly is a faceless hookup, Vincent?” she asked, her eyes meeting his again for the first time in a while and still couldn’t keep herself together. His hand was gently over hers and she deciding on playing with his fingers, biting her lip.

“Well, first off, you’d have to take off your clothes...then I’d suggest a brief makeout session before first or second base- given that my way of doing these things is slow mostly-”

“I dunno if I have the patience for slow,” Leda said quickly as she slid off the side of the bed and stood up, pulling her pants down and deciding to undo the knot that kept her shirt up, hiding her midriff. Then got back to Vincent as he tried to watch, but his mind flowed with ideas. He pushed himself forward, planting his feet on the floor and taking off his boots. He looked up at Leda, who was waiting for him patiently, which made him smirk as he stood up and gave way to his jeans.

“You don’t have the patience for slow?” he echoed.

“Nah, never did. Guys usually don’t take their time with me or they had made up their minds already and I hadn’t gotten a choice,” she explained, hoping her shirt hid her thighs rubbing together at the crooner in front of her. She could feel her anxiety rise in an interesting way as Vincent saw right through her. “Vincent-” she didn’t mean to breathe.

He raised his eyebrows as he heard the wind whisper his name, and he quickly moved around her to make the back of her more aligned to the back of the bed. She gasped a little as she heard his phone and wallet hit the nightstand and did a magician’s gesture to make a condom appear between his fingers, “Not yet, though.”

“Why?” she asked.

“You tell me,” he said, gently taking her waist into his hands and Leda could barely hold in her exhale and moan as it felt so slight as her body moved into it. All of the thoughts started flooding and so did the memories. She felt like he could be there at any second, but there was Vincent blocking him. Her body ached a bit at how he just froze. “Your lips look so soft and plush..and I like your hair down like this.”

The girl tried to hide, but it was met with another squeeze, “V-Vincent~” she sputtered as he kept yanking her out of her head, feeling the muscle relaxants and the weed mix. 

“You alright, babe?” he asked softly in her ear, being sure to not touch her elsewhere. Leda didn’t understand why she felt this way. 

“No..” her voice shook as she gulped, “My head’s going crazy but my body’s not..and I want to be terrified, but that’s..just..not what I’m feeling...What was in that tube thing?..” She finally asked.

“Weed obviously...not even the stuff I sold tonight. It’s a preview from the guy I buy off of-”

“I don’t really smoke grass-”

“Is it because THC can be a psychostimulant?”

“Ye-yes!..I feel like-” she cut herself off and took in his cologne instead. She couldn’t let him know what all she was thinking. It wouldn’t make sense. She would look more certifiably crazy then. Her mouth pushed out half of moan as she exhaled his scent where she tasted the cigarette and the fact they had been at a college house party. 

“I was gonna tell you to take a deep breath but you did it already-”

“Are you...Are you gonna fuck me or not?” she balled up her fists.

“If you would let me fucking finish and stop interrupting me solely to say something that would piss me off then yes!” Vincent said as he let her sides go and folded his arms.

“Not my fault you drugged me and are taking your time..” she folded hers and looked away from him, not wanted to meet his eyes.

“So what, I was supposed to brazenly assau- Ooooohhhhhh....You’re not mad at me..And...I just became mad at myself for realizing it-”

“What?” she asked, whipping her head towards his.

“You don’t know how to enjoy it, because you’ve never been given the option..nor the opportunity,” he mentioned, returning his hands to her sides quickly. 

“What?!” Leda asked, more surprised and now sent back through those thoughts of him touching her again, “You do-don’t know if I-”

“You told me you did..I dunno if it changed..did it?” putting slightly more pressure to allow her to embrace him.

“Ugh~..no..” she once again cursed herself on the inside from only getting a hug from being revved up by his hands lingering on her waist and lower back. Part of her just wanted to let go, or at least tell him to- since part of her completely trusted him. He passed the tests. He was so close to figuring her out and it angered her how clandestine he could carry himself through it all. Her body relaxed into the long hug and waited for this to not be real. For Vincent to pop a hard-on or something so that she knew he was doing all of this because he was still plastered and wanted to bed her. It was hard to expect him to do that when he would talk and his hands wouldn’t really move. And when he moved he tried to stay quiet. Leda’s arms started to move once again, snaking her arms up and crossed them behind his neck, “B-be...be gentle, alright?” she pulled back slightly to meet his eyes- gods those eyes- and his hair in his face before kissing him.

x

Leda was at Vincent’s again, no longer afraid of him or his touch, if anything, he’s the only one whom she trusted. Before she would be ready to fight if anyone tried to touch her, and obviously Vincent was given exclusive access. However, Vincent had to always do something to salvage their experiences, and there were times where he didn’t have it in him. 

The fresh couple lived through such a visceral honeymoon stage that Leda couldn’t think that a guy could have loved her more than the one who was after Cameron. She tried so hard not to think about it. One evening Leda was excitedly waiting for Vincent in the car while he made a sale. This is how they started dating and it just became something she found herself doing before she stopped staying in her dorm and sleeping at Vincent’s apartment. He came back and put everything in the trunk before getting in the car and only resting his head in his arms over the steering wheel with a huge sigh.

“Baby..you ok?” she asked as she sat up and rubbed his back. 

“No..” he said quietly, desperately trying to keep himself together. 

“Well..we..we gotta go..or..are we going somewhere?” Leda said, looking up and looking around.

“I have to go back in there...It’s not like..I mean you don’t care right?” he finally says when he sits up and pushes his hair back.

“How can you even ask me that question?” Leda looked at him, coming off louder than she expected, “What do you mean?”

“We’re not...This isn’t..Look it’s a party in there and...I wanna be single tonight. Like my boss, he’s- fucking treating me to the party in there and I can’t tell him you’re in here and you don’t do parties so-”

“I never said I don’t do parties. I don’t do party drugs and uncomfortable situations-”

“Your whole life is an uncomfortable situation, Leeds,” Vincent chuckles lightly, reaching in a pocket for his cig he started before he went in the first time, “It’s not gonna take me that long, babe..”

“Wait! You’re actually going back to the party?” she pushed her hand on his chest, then shook her head slowly, “What the fuck?”

“I’m going back in, yes. To enjoy the party? No...To probably get my dick sucked by a drunk Sean McLoughlin cus he’s been walled up and he said he would?..Yea-” he gave her some theatrics before turning away.

“NOO!” she snatched his shoulder, “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“What? You’re not going to do anything about it. And it’s not gonna change anything with..us..per say...it’s just I’m having sex with Sean tonight,” he tried to explain.

“I’m not fucking stupid! That’s if I allowed you to! Who put you at the head of this relationship?” she looked at him, perplexed and angry.

“Who put you at the head of this relationship? Listen, half of this problem is the fact that I fuck other people. The other half would be the disrespect of dishonesty and I’m not giving you that!” he said trying to deescalate the situation.

Leda was so upset and couldn’t believe that he was just trying to brush off cheating in her face. He had brought up a few good points, so maybe he doesn’t understand how this hurts her, “Ok but you’re not respecting my additional choices, the fact that I may feel some type of way about it- You just came in here and told me you’re gonna fuck Sean!”

“Is it because it’s Sean specifically?” he asked, pulling back a little.

“Urgh! No! Well-..no, because...I should call Mark because he should be home right now,” Leda tried to say, feeling caught up by his question and now enraged that she felt anything because he was still in the wrong. 

“We can drop him off,” he shrugged and chuckled before looking over to her, “Oh come on! I wouldn’t not stop the car or anything like that. I’d make sure he’s sober or at least hydrated...but he looks like he could blow off some steam and he gets a safe ride home. You can bring him in his dorm, tuck him in, let Mark know he got back in one piece- fuck! Knowing Musclebound Buffpants he’s probably on his way because Sean probably called him accidentally on purpose.”

“He’s with Ro tonight..she told me he’s being held hostage for the night,” she interjected with not as much energy, “Why won’t you take him in? You’re the guy!”

“I’m in the running to apply for Alpha president..I don’t have good luck with being seen in a good light..You know that, you came from the factory,” Vincent  scoffed, before finishing the cig and flicking the butt out of the window and blowing the smoke with it, “And so because Ro is with her future husband, you have to play pretend with me?”

“No! Can’t we just...like hang out?! What the fuck is your problem?” Leda snapped at him, throwing her hands up.

“This! This moment right now and everything about it is my problem, Leda!” Vincent snapped back, “Answer me this, am I your boyfriend?”

“No, I-”

“Right. Not your boyfriend. And you’re not my girlfriend. You won’t let us call us an us...and why is that again?”

“Because you’re a fucking prick.”

“Ah no..sorry, we were looking for you care too much about Ro’s opinion and your social status with her friendship.”

“No I fucking don’t! I don’t need to be with her like that!” she defended weakly.

“Listen, if you don’t like what I’m doing then take my car and do whatever the fuck you want and I’ll call you in an hour. Go back to my place, go fuck someone else, go have a some weird lesbian fantasy about your best friends and deny it in an attempt to keep them because you know you don’t have a chance. Go hang with someone else, actually fucking take your meds and do your homework for once-”

“Shut up, Vincent!” she yelled as she shoved him, causing him to abruptly get up, slamming the door shut and wrangling his car key off his ring and tossing it in the car. Leda had screamed when he shut the door, holding her arms up defensively as she heard the keys fly into the car through the driver’s window and hit the dashboard.. the girl cried for several minutes and contemplated going into the party, but it was too dangerous. She realized she shouldn’t have come with him. She takes his car and has a night out of her own, knowing Charlie was probably aching for some human contact. 

X

Vincent couldn’t believe he actually was able to move in. He was already so excited to be the Alpha house president, even if not everyone agreed with him. Rosanna dutifully worked under him and kept herself busy, vowing to herself and to Mark that they almost never see one another unless it concerns the house. Vincent could still see every moment they had together. He doesn’t ignore her lingering looks and touches while they tried to quickly check and proof records and evaluations and documents for the house. She didn’t regret no looking back when she could still steal glances from the very corners of her eyelids and faintly think of Mark for a second. Allowing their imagery, their voices, their strength to overtake her for a fleeting moment before she was brought back and remembered the business at hand. 

Since Leda disappeared with his car a few weeks back, Vincent hadn’t a clue what came over her after one fight on one night. She hadn’t known where she’d gone, but didn’t know what Cyr had done with the things of hers that she left. She went up to the registry and seen that Cyr lived in Alpha now. She had remembered him very vaguely discussing running for Alpha president, but hadn’t really cared about it at the time- she thought he wouldn’t get it. Vincent was going over the printout of the proposal for an event that Rosanna had suggested to boost revenue and new pledge turnout when he got a shiver, and it made him play it off by rolling his neck. “You ok?” Ro cooed, rubbing his shoulders, Vincent sinking in.

The girl had found out that he had done away with his off-campus apartment for Greek Row, so she took the long walk going up from the office. Ro hadn’t been this sweet on him, and she didn’t know what came over her in this moment to try her luck- to see if it still pulled the same, to see if it was still like lighting a fuse, to see if he remembered her. She couldn’t help herself taking in his relaxation into her hands and watching him push his glasses off, “Ah..yeah uh...You’re just gonna have to come back for the second..revision...tomorrow- I..I don’t think I’m gonna get this done,” he said, rubbing his face and taking a few more breaths before taking both her hands in his swiftly and gently, bringing them on top of one another, and closing them in his as he directed her to come from behind him. He locked eyes with her as he slowly stood up, towering over her as he let her hands fall, hearing the light gasp as her hands fell. The lanky man turned back around, having already excusing himself past her to start gathering the papers on the table, at her noise, “You alright, doll?” he asked plainly and still killed her.

Leda knew somewhere that maybe if she could admit her side of the story, things would be smoother. She could definitely talk to Ro about Cyr than to Cyr about Ro, and since no one can know, it felt even more important. She admired all the people around and the new faces for a mundane weekday on campus as she strolled onto Greek Row, seeing the lights on and the Congratulations banner still up from his apparent celebration. Vincent felt the shiver again as he put his shirt back on and played it off by adjusting it. Ro was long gone, but it was another isolated moment of quick stimulation. All she ever wants is to be touched, and he knew all the right spots and loved the noises she made when he did get them just the right way. It didn’t worry Leda much that Ro wasn’t answering her phone at this time of day, she probably fell asleep after a brisk walk with Cookie. Joey sang her praises for her return and spoke of the boy who’s car she’d stolen and no longer had. “Leda~..wow...I wasn’t sure what happened, but you can come get all your stuff- uh...I dunno if you wanna talk or anything-”

“Who is she?” Leda asked, pushing past him and wiped her finger across his lips then showing him, “Whoever it is, it’s a cute color..”

“Leda, I think you owe me an explanation-” he said flatly, pulling off his shirt entirely and wiping his face.

“Is my room in here still good?” she asked as she immediately started picking out and finding clothes. She was safe here again, she didn’t need to hide. 

“I let them give it up for more room, we had an influx of- Stop that...Leda, talk to me-” he said, strolling over before getting a hand to the chest.

“Congrats on becoming President, baby~! How about..we celebrate?..Just you and me! Just like before! Hm? I wanna take a shower first, though, cus I’ve been...traveling all day,” she led him into the bathroom as she turned the shower on.

“Can we talk while you shower?” he asked, standing and filling the doorway, “You know this whole suite is mine. So it really is just us.”

“Nah..you, me, the spirits I brought with me and that are on these grounds, the gods and goddesses, and Rosanna’s lace dainties?” she said as she picked the light lace cheeky underwear on the bathroom floor, “Let me take my shower alone, please.”

~

Vincent sat out and cleaned up his room a little bit, chain-smoking as he wasn’t sure what was going to happen when the girl got out of the bathroom. Leda didn’t really understand how she felt the way she did, and why she wasn’t angry at Ro. Why was it a little more interesting to know she was still going to Cyr to get her rocks off? She opened the door to Vincent’s surprise, not wearing anything else but her t-shirt bra and a dainty lace thong. Her hair falling over her curves just right, and he couldn’t help but follow her with his eyes. She had grown up into her shape more, maybe not as much colour on her still plush soft skin, but there’s now tattoos and her hair is as vibrant a colour can be when he met her. She smiled at him, even though she wasn’t smiling on the inside, and she straddled his waist on his bed. She lured him into a kiss and an energy boost he’d missed from her- the world felt more at balance and it made sense with their lips pushed together. “I missed you..so much..” he breathed, unable to hold back his overwhelming comfort.

“Your car broke down and I left it on the side of the road in Oregon..I sold the drugs out the trunk and ran into some ex...problems,” Leda started, “Did some cat and mouse and travelling and yeah..I..I missed you, too Vincent~” 

“That’s fine...but..why’d you leave in the first place?” Vincent asked laying back as she worked on kissing his neck and grinding. The girl stopped and avoided his eyes, “Leda...Leda baby you can tell me..I’ve been waiting about a year to know...” he reassured her as he leaned up to embrace her and kiss her shoulder.

“I-....I..He said he was gonna find me, and the stick had a plus on it and I was gonna show you when we got home, but even I didn’t wanna go home so...” she stiffened as she explained, moving her fringe out of her face, shrugging.

“You were pregnant?” he asked, eyes immediately darting down, “Did you lose it?”

“I...I just didn’t want you to get upset and I didn’t want him to find me if I-”

“Ok Ok...I don’t care about that..What happened to the baby, Leda?” he asked her pulling her in and rubbing her back.

“I lost her...” her voice broke, “I can’t have kids...he’ll find me. He did this to me...”

“Hey, hey, hey...Hey, look at me, Leeds. Alright?..I’m not mad about the car..I’m not mad that you had to handle things with your ex..and I’m not mad about the baby...” Vincent said, “I just wanted to know if you were ok..And that I wasn’t holding your stuff and you didn’t need it anymore..”

Leda couldn’t help her tears and was so glad she had a fresh naked face to let herself cry in. “I-I-It’s not that I didn’t want her, I just..she didn- I dunno what happened...” she tried to say while she cried.

“It’s alright, babe..Don’t worry. She’ll come when she’s ready, okay? And when she does I have no doubt she’ll be as beautiful, smart, and creative as her wonderful mother,” Vincent said, rubbing her back some more, “Listen, next time you get knocked up, I’ll take care of you...I’ll make sure nothing happens to you...I’ll keep you safe.”

“Vincent~ you can’t..no one can..he’s always gonna find me,” Leda whined, shaking her head quickly, “He’ll kill you.”

“Not if I kill him first and even then, I’m giving all of this to you. You deserve not to worry. You deserve safety, babe,” he said, “Is that why you were at my apartment?’

“Yes, but you don’t live there anymore-”

“I’m subleasing until I graduate from here...or I get tired of these people finally,” he chided.

“And how long do you think that’s going to last?..Especially if it’s you and Ro..” she started chuckling lightly.

“I don’t think it’s gonna be me and Ro for much longer, anyway,” he sighs, letting the girl off his lap and onto his bed as he got up to start turning the lights down and closing off his room from his office, “Don’t get me wrong- it’s exciting! It really is, but she shouldn’t be doing that. She’s...gonna need that wakeup call.”

Leda sat and waited for him and lit one of his cigs from the box on the nightstand even though he opted for the little glass tube, “What do you mean?”

“She’s still careless, she’s playing with fire...She didn’t want everybody to know but she’s had-like- two scares...She’s gonna tell you when she finds out that you’re back,” he said, hushing his voice like she was in his office. Leda was shocked to say the least, but she liked Vincent for that: he held onto the only side of her she was never proud of.

“Like...pregnancy scares-”

“No STI- yes pregnancy scares! Told me that she didn’t want to get rid of the kid but didn’t want to think of losing the life she was building with Mark and wanted all of the kids she had to be in their happily ever after or whatever shit...you know Rosie..” Vincent snapped, clearly still emotional and indignant, smoking more frequently as he stress-cleaned his room. Leda was stunned. It wasn’t exactly something she expected from someone who craved so much stability and control- safety. 

“How...”

“She disappeared. Like three times, She told everyone she went to visit family. I saw her and she stayed with me for like..a few days..and we just hung out how she wanted us to. She never left because nobody could know that she was back yet. So when she did return it was like she picked up Cookie from the sitter on her way home from the airport...I liked it, but..when she told me all of that over those days and she told me about being President and how she would eventually hate me enough to overthrow me and then she’ll have her life with Mark and I’ll leave the Youni...”

“So then...when’s the last time you saw Ro?” Leda asked, frightened slightly by what she heard. And part of her wanted to fight her. It wasn’t much of her business but as a friend and as a human that’s not something she should get away with. 

“You didn’t see her going to the Vice President’s suite?..Or the girls’ side? Kitchen?...Cus she literally just left when you had knocked on my door,” Vincent paused and stared at her with a squint.

“Nope,” Leda admitted shaking her head and threw her hands up, “Honestly I didn’t really get here until I told you I lost the baby and by then I kinda knew that I could let it go I guess..because now I feel fine..”

“Weird...I had a weird feeling the whole time she was here that someone was coming..I didn’t think they were alive so I didn’t think anything of it...This is all..you know, Indigenous grounds, not necessarily burial, but sacred space tends to pop up when they’re talking...”

“That’s weird...but highly likely..Western U.S. does have some crazy energy pockets,” Leda said, blushing a little that he knew she was coming, “Are they leftover or residual? The panties, I mean..” She giggled.

“I couldn’t tell ya, but I’d have to guess that she left those in my bathroom because it was very apparent she wasn’t wearing any, but I thought she had come over commando..Didn’t think she committed to the idea while she was in the bathroom. I guess that’s what she’s gonna wait for me to say something about. Can’t lie, I’m gonna miss how smart she is,” he said with a smile and waves of realization of what he liked about the girl after not knowing for so long.

“Clearly not smart enough,” Leda scoffed, “If she’s pulling the ‘I had to go to my mother’s for a summer so I can have an abortion and therapy’ this early in the relationship and they’re still going strong, maybe it’s that you’re not gonna judge her and she can kinda reward herself with you and vice versa- definitely a karmic soulmate...” She smiled again as she realized that they might be a particular soulmate or at least spiritual partner. “Vincent, sit down, please,” she asked sweetly. He sat back down and she rubbed his shoulders, sighing, “I’m sorry, Vince...Like that’s really shitty and I’m..so..sorry, babe..but like that’s what happens when you gamble.”

“It would help if you’d taken responsibility for running out on me fucking months ago,” Vincent bit at her, “Maybe I wouldn’t have leaned on her so much...chasing fucking waterfalls,” he scoffed.

“Wow you’re really gonna sit here and blame me?” she backed up, raising her voice.

“No! I said take some fucking responsibility! Like do you understand how you’re no better sometimes?” he said.

“Oh my- FUCK YOU! Who the fuck are you?!” Leda snapped, shoving his shoulder and getting up.

“Will you keep your voice down?!” he whispered quickly standing up and taking her arm in his hand gently.

“Don’t fucking touch me!-”

“Or what?! You’ll scream? Ro’s gonna come rushing back in here to check on me to find what? Us fucking fighting about her and as far as she knows you dropped out of school,” Vincent breathed, “No one..and I mean no one..knows about any of that.-”

“WHy are you still trying to defend her?!” she growled as she fights him.

“Same reason I defend you, but not the same because you’re not about to marry some meathead to forget your slutty phase,” he mentioned and the girl released her grip, “Also again with the dick jealousy and arousal over your friend and you screwing me.”

“Stop saying that! It’s not fucking true!” she snapped at him.

“I’ve been talking to college girls for a long time. This is the most bisexual thing two straight girls can do is fuck the same guy and give the guy shit for getting off on the fact that at least one of you wants to fuck their lunchbox friend...and right now, you’re the mad at the Snowflake Queen, Needy.”

Leda stopped and looked at him, “Did you really just use that reference?” 

“It’s true. No matter the reference. I’ve told you that before-”

“You didn’t-”

“Yes I did, you just forgot because we were having fun...you know..dating,” Vincent lit his cig, handing it to her, “My whole thing is I wanted you to have fun without living in Rosie’s shadow.”

“Don’t do that,” she said, smoking quickly going back to the bed before he takes her hand and twirls her and dips her.

“What?” he said.

“Don’t call her Rosie,” she said, blushing hard.

“Why? Cus you’d call her Rosie?” he asked, shotgunning a hit with her.

“Stop saying I wanna fuck Ro, cus I don’t,” she giggled.

“You’d watch me fuck her though,” he inserted, putting the butt in the ashtray as he pulled her in, “Or vice versa.”

“She said she would?” she asked, furrowing her brows.

“Needy, when I say she’s never been worried about you when she’s with me, she’s not. I don’t push her, either. Like I think about you if she says or does something that reminds me of you but other than that she’s in her own little world with me,” Vincent said, caressing the girl, looking away to think. 

“Stop calling me Needy, I clearly look like Megan Fox,” she said, meaning to put herself down.

“No, you’re Needy at the end of the movie after she’s been affected by Jennifer,” he explained, “You were simping and running and screaming while getting teased the whole movie then at the end, even though you kinda lost your guy, you’ll get more..and it’s kinda because she took what was meant for you..even if it killed her..”

“Wow..Vincent..did you just say you loved me even if it kills Ro?” Leda asked, smirking wildly.

“Yeah I guess so.”

#vincent cyr #leda muir #au #ro

[uwuowotf2waslife]

The mercs with an s/o who is on the autism spectrum? If you want to

 as a person with diagnosed autism( ASD that later changed to SCD but concidering my countrys lack of proper diagnosis and non-existant support when i was growing up, im not sure,it might was a result of chronic abuse or i was a really weird kid) its my duty to answer this ask,

always know that you are perfect with all your imperfections 

just because maybe your brain is wired different it doest make you less of a person

you are poetry

Scout

-my boy has adhd ( probably undiagnosed until he was examined by Medic) so you two might have a little problem at the begining.

-he might be the closest to a jack russel in human form, but he cares about you and is willing to sit down and do his research so he can understand you and your struggles. He isn’t a hypocrite, he is a hyperenergetic bundle of daddy issues and is sure he will annoy you from time to time, he annoys pretty much everyone except his mom on rare occasion, he is a hanfull and he knows that years now. But he also has come to understand that everyone has struggles and little things that make them more special than others.

-if you have problems with communication , he’ll be your mouth .Problems with sensory overstimulation? he will escort you to the safest place and hug you tighter than he thought hes capable of. People mistreating or bullying/insult you? the bat is in his hands and his ready to hit home runs on their balls. You might not be the perfect couple, you will struggle like every couple and have fights and arguments, but he is ready to phase every difficulty that comes on your way. He loves you and he is here for the ride even if its bumpy.

Soldier

-( I and i think a big part of the community claim he is actually autistic) Probably the most tricky of the mercs, since at one side he might completely relate/understand you and the relationship go smoother than soft butter on bread, or he might have problems communicating the relationship problems with you.

-as all relationships you two must sit down and communicate your problems. Believe me he isn’t mentally retarded ( a horrible misconsumption ive seen being thrown around), yes he is stubborn and can’t read social cues to save his life, but he is a loyal beefcake with a golden heart hardened by a lifitime of war. He knows he isn’t the perfect man, he has nightmares and panic attacks on the regualr after so much trauma in his life. But he also knows that if he S/O needs him, it doesnt matter if its a small or big thing, he is ready to go through hell and back to make them happier or more comfortable 

-you can’t stand loud noises? copy that privet, he will stop yelling/ screaming around you. Certain things make you uncomfortable/ anxious? hes at your side and he is ready to snap necks...you have his heart and his adoration, he ain’t a coward or a pansy, you’ll win over any challenge that comes your way like the absolute unit you are and he is there to assist

Pyro

-fresh from the start they can recognise you have autism, i lowkey think they might be ( actually in young adults asd and mild schizophrenia can be mixed and confused by not good qualified doctors, its been years since i read that study so correct me if im wrong) or have really good gut insticts. Either way, they know you are struggling and trie in subtle ways to help you

-did an important call without stuttering? hug and smooch on the crown of your head, completed all your work/homework? they will cover you in stickers and cuddle you in their pillowfort, stood up for yourself? my girl theyll make a huge cupcake tray and youll two will eat while watching sappy disney films

- you won’t struggle as much, i see them as more easy going than other members of the team. But they also have big issues that may create problems in the relationship that you both need  to work on. They are more than a handfull and they aren’t unaware of it, they spended years locked inside their own head doing god-knows how vile and harming things to their mentality and body, they can’t believe they are alive and they wake up every day next to the most beautifull human being they have come across their lif, ( Y/n). You will bond slow but strong , you are their sunshine and theyll make sure their sunshine shines no matter what they have to do

Engie

( lowkey i think is canon he has some form of high-functioning autism, just hide its behind the southern warm and soft hospitality)

- when you confess, he hugs you ( a big thing coming from him since i dont consider him a touchy fella)  and returns the confession that he is too. He knows each person experiences different so he won’t press you for explanations or description of what you have is excactly. He just assures whatever happens, he is there to help you with

- doesn’t really change how he views you, but he takes the initiative for things like talking to strangers, calling to order or things that you struggle with, but he doesnt baby you. You are an adult person and will be treated as that, even if sometimes he feels he needs to “help” or “protect” you

-one of the most  easy going of the mercs, but his work is his priority so there will be long arguments about it. He understands your frustation, but he is a workaholic years now before you came in his life and can’t bring himself to change that. His work is his routine, the only comfort he knows and the only place that accepted him for who he is. But, he will be more elastic and have more breaks/ days off even if it means the project will be finished an hour or two later, unless it has an urgent deadline. He knows he can be very cold and emotionless, he is an engineer, not a spy for that reason. Furthermore he has his own times when he is stubborns or has an anger explosion because something broke/didnt meet his expectations or got way too invested into something that turned to be worthless/ uselless so he isn’t the one to judge if you are in a sour mood or you have your own “ explosion”. After all said and done, late at night when you are both alonein his workshop he will just cradle you in his arms and make a silence promise to always be there for you through thin and thick ( as we say to go through 40 waves and 40 more ) because you are something that no machine or creation can emulate or recreate, you are ( Y/N) and you are the love of his life.

Demo

-arguably one of the three more knowledgable of the mercs in the topic of mental health department. Being raised in an orphanage i doubt he didnt had at least a dozen other kids who had from high to moderate to severe autism ( during the 20th century it wasnt uncommon for people with autism to be thought less human or that the family of said people couldn’t provide for them in severe cases so theyd be dropped on orphanages and psychiatric hospitals)., so he has some first hand experiene with what autism is. It isn’t something for him in all honesty, after so much trauma and hardship in his life he is at peace that peopleare different and their brains are rarely wired the same

-he also know he isn’t ideal, he acts really stupid when he is drunk and his alcohol consumption alone is a very big problem for any relationship he ever had in his life and i doubt he is the image of psychological perfection, but he also knows that if you are willing to keep him around you have seen him wasted out of his mind, he is more than willing to put up with anyof your quirks or difficulties.

-you want to stim? go ahead he’ll leave the room/the house so you can stim to your hearts content, you want to stay? sure thing lass, hell sit in a corner and drink a bit while you have your thing. Work/ school/ home life is stress full and you are in the verge of a breakdown? he has already wrapped you like a burrito and he is holding you while you cry/vent, you dont want to be touched at that moment? hell take you to an open field and you can blow things up to get all those feelings out of you. He isn’t ideal, he is at peace with that, but now that you appeared in his life, you became the apple of his eye. He’ll cherish you and protect you both as body but as a mind and a soul for whatever shit life throws at you, he was never one to back down a challenge.

Heavy

-due to the language barrier and his nature as a quiet man it’ll take him some time. If you bring it up he’ll simply nod and run to Medic or Spy for translation. He isn’t shy to do a doctors worth of research so he knows what he has to deal with, he knows his english is broken and would prefer to have a migraine over the amount of books hes read than make you feel uncomfortable. Probably will ask advice from Medic ( the most qualified on the team) untill hes satisfied he knows enough.

-probably the sanest of the mercs, but he isn’t perfection. He had to endure famine and death from very early in his life, always be the stone his family anchored on and most people on his life, so he has his own big problems. At one side he is used to so many things, he is somewhat indiferent. You aren’t harming anyone nor its life threatening, so it doesnt really change what he feels about you. All people have flaws, noones perfect and if they do think they are perfect, they are very, very wrong. I won’t lie to you, some times hell get confuse with your behavior or will get tired of being the “ anchor” of the relationship, but he will never admit it. He survived the Gulags and years in Siberia, this is nothing but a walk in the park for him. He isn’t a fuckboy, he doesn’t want you just for some fuck and then hell forget you exist, he is much more sentimental than he appears to be. He beginned this with you because he sees you more than a body, he sees you as someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with even if itll be a challenge, he was never a quiter and he wont be now.

- don’t expect much communication help from him, unless its in russian. But whenever you feel the tiniest bit of self-doubt or anxiety his arms are open to embrace and warm you with  his love. He might was raised among anarchy and war, but he is a gentle giant with a heart bigger than Russia herself. He knows you two will struggle especially on the communication domain but he is willing  to do what it takes to make your life easier/ less challenging. He came here to stay, only if you allow him 

Medic

-Arguably the most medically qualified of the mercs, but considering the era of his studies hes at least rusty on modern terminology and general understanding of what autism is. Nontheless his a doctor ( with or without a medical license) and i doubt he ever followed the rules of ethical and unethical medicine. He is a healer primeraly and he can’t claim to be the most mentaly stable of the team.

-he might be many things, he knows hes at least crazy by normal standards and has made extremely questionable choices in his life,but he cares for the people he is close to, lovers and collagues alike. He won’t try to ‘change’or ‘medicate’ you; unless you specifically ask him for, like yes he has defied any sort of ethical medicine and has played god many times in his life, but he knows that if he changes you, you won’t be ‘you’. You will be you still, but nothing more than a lobotomized version of yourself and he fears that. Let’s be real, he probably choosed you because you are a smart individual ( that includes both street and book smarts alike) so if he “killed” your smart he would essentially kill you and this doesnt sit well with him.

-feeling down? no worries, the doctor is here ( afterhe finis hes re-connecting snipers new kidneys). Stressed? Archimedes will be your own personal cheerleader and the rest of the flock won’t let you all stressed and alone while Medic is working. In the simplest of works,he wants you to know that  he might be a madman on the field and the medbay, but he is also your lover and that means he cares about you. He doesnt care if act a lil strange or you have some special things about you, guess what? he doesnt cares. H e never cared and he will never cared, all the greatest minds had something  special about them and you are no exception. He chosed to have a relationship with  you and you accepted the love request of a surgery-happy maniac , im sure he is beyond equiped to handle you in all aspects. He might not be the most touchy but he will make his point across that you are someone who means wayy to much for him to change

Sniper

- ( i highly think he is autistic, just the way hes potrayed in most fanfics he acts lowkey autistic, mostly in the communication and sociable part) growing up in the middle of nowhere probably he has never even heard ‘autism’ as a word , so his very lost. (another headcanon of mine is that he is also iliterate) You need to explain to him what autism is and how it affects your life. He has a non-pleasant expression on his face, because he realises most things that you say what that “autism”is and the thing it has are things he actually  has and felt throughout his life. He looks like hes having a religious expierience and when you are done he only nods and hugs you almost mechanically.

-he will need some time, not because ofyou, but because of him. You might think he is breaking up with, butin reality he just needs some time alone to sit down and think about all the things you said. Its one of the biggest revalations he has experienced on his life and it has hit him like a wall of bricks.

- after a few days he will return to the base and will ask you to meet with him on the most secluded of his snipers nest. While you prepare for the upcoming breakup, he actually showers and wears somet hing nice for the first time in a while. He goes out of his way to make the sniper nest a bit more “ comfortable” even bribe spy into giving him one of his fancy wines. Once you go up the nest and you two meet, he is the most clingy he has ever been and almost drinks the whole bottle out of pure anxiety. Once his tipsy enough he actually confesses that from the things you said, he found out hes also autistic. Que him basically clinging you like a broken koala baby while half-sobbing to expell all the tension he  has inside him. Please pet his hair and rub his back,he will melt and quit his rugged manly man persona for that moment. He needs you there, he needs your soft touch to ground him while his whole life comes crushing down and a weight he never imagined is being lifted from his shoulders.After that, its quaranteed you two won’t be seperated ever again, he needs you to ease all this pain he has gathered from his troubled life and he will provide you the world and the stars.

Spy

- he knows what autism is( as a spy he should know about human psychology/mental disorders just to know how to impersonate any person with or without issues) and he is a very observant man. He has above average attention span and knows how to read body language so he has figured you are autistic a long time ago. He is just waiting for you to open up about it or confess it, but he also knows the social stigma around autism so he keeps his mouth shut because he really doesn’t want you  to feel uncomfortable or ‘naked’ in front of him

- i heavily headcanon him to be at least depressed/having an ugly anxiety disorder or even a dissosiative disorder considering a big part of his life is carefully crafted theater , so he can’t say he is any more better than you.Furthermore he never really cared about what society thinks about mental ilnesses, whos here to judge who sane and not? he has seen so much shady things behind closed doors of “ pure” people he has lost all respect for what society thinks its normal and what is weird or not acceptable. Yes he follows the rules of “good” society but thats more of a habit than a need. Plus have you seen what the good ol’ society behind close doors? yap youll need a good bible study and some church to wash away the sins.

-eventually when you confess to him,he doesn’t really act. He knows its a heavyemotinal moment for you but he can’t open up for his own problems, at least now. But he will embrace you for now and say all the sweet words you need to hear...untill the same time he gets drunker than he can and confesses to you in french all his psychological troubles while he cries on your chest. He won’t let go unless he wants to vomit and he will cling to you for dear life while he experiences one of the ugliest meltdowns he has experienced in the last decade. Probably will wake up with a monster of a hangover, but once he feels you wrapped around him and feel your heartbeat on the bones of his back something will meltin him. He will gather whatever strenght he has, turn around, give you one of the most genuine smiles he has ever given in his entire life and peck your lips bore he starts whining and requiesting you to either kill him or fetch medic. Perhaps one day hell say all the things he wants to say in you mother tongoue but for now, just know he will cherish you and love you like the most exquisite poetry that has graced his life

#tf2 #tf2 imagines #tf2 facts #tf2 self insert #tf2 spy #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #tf2 sniper #tf2 engie #tf2 demo #so #all #long post #autism #relationships dynamic #mentall health

[all-things-mlqc]

hi! sorry i dont know if your askbox is open, sorry if its not 😰. If it is, can i ask a scenario for who from more to less if the boys whould have "stronger stomachs", i mean who could deal with more extreme situations. (like a s/o who gets severely hurt, or has a bug acident or dealing with a pregnant s/o who has to deliver at home, etc) Thanks!

Ofc! Asks are open and I’m slowly but surely getting through them doing a few at once as well.

To be honest, the boys all have pretty strong stomachs when it comes to injuries and accidents considering the amount of chaos they’ve already been through. However, they’re all different in a way as well which I will get to. As for pregnancy at home, yeah some of these boys are a mess. Full summaries under the cut!

Victor:

I honestly believe Victor has the weakest stomach among the five of them. As far as we know, he hasn’t been through as much as the others. Sure, he and MC went through some childhood trauma together, but as for more severe incidents, he doesn’t seem to have as much experience. He very much seems like he would have a hard time seeing someone dear to him in an accident and/or severely injured. The same goes for seeing unknown people this way but it hits him a lot harder when it’s someone he knows. We already know this man has anxiety levels at 100 when someone dear to him gets hurt please stop having guards follow me into the women’s bathroom for the LOVE OF GOD IM FINE. But anywho, weak stomach > strong stomach for Victor. More on the weaker side just because he has a shit ton of anxiety and doesn’t want to believe it when he sees it.

Do I have to explain for pregnancy at home? The man is FREAKING O U T. He has called guards, personal doctors, a whole team of people, literally anything his money can buy him to help MC in this situation. He doesn’t know what to do at all and tries to play it off but miserably fails at doing so. Anxiety levels have reached 1000%. His weak stomach here is also mainly from anxiety rather than blood and such but lord help his soul.

Kiro:

SPOILER ALERT. Kiro’s will include spoilers from both the main story and information from his latest rumors and secrets which has not yet been revealed in the main story.

Kiro is a confusing one. The best way to explain it is by putting him in a certain scenario:

One of his very close friends/loved ones has been seriously injured. Upon seeing these injuries and the blood that came with them with his own eyes, he covers his mouth from naseuousness. The idea of someone so dear to him being in such pain—

However, theres a sense of nonchalantness he couldn’t quite make out. While he may not have the strongest stomach after seeing severe injuries, he doesn’t seem as bothered as he expected to be; Almost as if he was used to it. He has an idea why but they’re only fade memories. **CHAPTER 10+ SPOILERS** Having an “alter ego” is difficult considering he doesn’t always remember everything as the other person. Kiro only has partial memories of Helios while Helios only has small fragments of Kiro. But was he really Helios that often to become used to such injuries? He can never remember but he always assumed he was Kiro more than Helios. **Rumors & Secrets Spoiler** While that may be true, Kiro isn’t his core self. Deep deep down, he isn’t Kiro at his core and only became Kiro when instructed to as a child (it was revealed that he was told to become Kiro at a young age. We don’t have too many details on this yet but I’m assuming it was either an experiment tested on him or someone’s evol getting in his head). At his core, he has seen much violence. He has been a pawn for Black Swan and has been on many missions. Blood and injuries don’t faze him in the slightest anymore. He doesn’t like making a mess of things but he also doesn’t hesitate if a job needs to be done. He’s been injured far too many times to care at this point. The reason for Kiro’s calm composure is purely because of how nothing affects him as Helios, but he, as Kiro, does not know this. This also explains Kiro’s serious hacker side as well as Helios’ soft side when it comes to MC. Kiro and Helios act so different yet have very similar traits all because they affect each other as a whole.

Now as for pregnancy, Kiro is surprisingly calm. Sure he’s nervous but he’s a lot more encouraging and reassures MC that everything will be ok. He makes calls, texts for advice and what to do in this situation, but he still remains as cool as ever. He has a pretty strong stomach with pregnancy because he knows and understands the beauty in life. After all, he is our sunshine. Seeing the baby coming doesn’t scare him, it makes him beam with joy as he continues to encourage MC to keep pushing and that she’s doing a great job. He keeps a smile on his face the whole time as to not make MC worry.

Gavin:

Gavin is a complicated one. He has worked with the police force ever since graduating high school. He’s a captain for not only the police force but for the secret evol organization as well. This doesn’t just mean he’s one of the strongest and most intelligent individuals in the force, but also one of the most capable during missions. You can’t freeze in a mission; You can’t hesitate in the slightest. You have to be prepared for anything and everything and that includes serious injuries or even death. You can’t let things like that faze you or you won’t make it. This tells us that Gavin has a pretty strong stomach when considering injuries or accidents. HOWEVER, as told to us in later chapters, Gavin lost his mother in a fire. Because of this, he gets much more anxious and shaken when fires are involved. Eli, Gavin’s partner, also mentioned how Gavin hates fires in general, confirming that fires are unsettling for Gavin. This doesn’t necessarily mean that Gavin can’t handle the situation, but that he has more anxiety when dealing with anything fire related. Anxiety is a different kind of effect on someone’s stomach compared to not being able to handle the sight of blood. Gavin’s weak stomach to fire incidents is purely from stress and anxiety. Other than that, Gavin has one of the strongest stomachs out of the suitors.

As for pregnancy… haha oh lord you bet your ass this man is nearly on the floor. You probably have to do the contraction count for him so he doesn’t pass out, himself. Like I said before, blood doesn’t faze him especially when he knows it’s natural during pregnancy. However, the idea of not having a professional or someone to help you gives him more anxiety than he’s ever had. He only wants you and the baby to be ok. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he suggests the idea of him flying you to the nearest hospital. And to be quite honest, that may even work considering how FAST he flies. Overall, he has a pretty strong stomach here as well. He just has a lot of anxiety when it comes to MC.

Shaw:

**There will also be spoilers on Shaw and his background/where he comes from. I will try to make it as discreet as possible so not too much will be spoiled for those who don’t know yet, so read at your own risk**

Again, this boy has been through thick and thin his whole life. Considering his dad is a big shot in the military/police force as well as some Evol organization, Shaw has very likely seen a lot. Because his father was a very important part of an evol organization, he wanted a child with a powerful evol and ended up having Shaw who possessed an evol at a very young age. And because of this, Shaw was taken away from any family he had and was raised by his bitch of a father if I must say so myself. In later chapters, Shaw takes out a big group of people all by himself and laughs it off (just the kind of person he is, I swear he’s not crazy, he’s just broken on the inside). While Shaw and Lucien are very similar when it comes to being mysterious, I actually think it’s more difficult to read Shaw. He’s very unpredictable so I really don’t know if injuries or accidents faze him more than I believe. However, from what we’ve seen, I don’t think he minds all that much. He has a strong stomach and can handle these sort of events but I can’t say for sure if he hates it deep down or not just because he seems very sad and lonely behind his facade.

As for pregnancy, he’s somewhat in the middle of being calm and freaking out. If any of y’all play Ikemen Vampire, think of Leo in this case. Tries to play stuff off, panics on the inside, but still knows what to do in this situation. He’s more or less quiet in this situation as well. No sassy remarks, more focused and even supportive Shaw? supportive??? Yes he can be a good boy too, he’s just an asshat 99% of the time. I’m also convinced he doesn’t know much on pregnancy considering he doesn’t know WHAT A MCHECCIN DATE IS. But Shaw being Shaw probably knows exactly what to do just because he’s an intellectual little SHIT. To be honest, I feel like he may even have more of a weak stomach when it comes to pregnancy in general. He has this sort of innocence to him so he isn’t fully prepared for what is to come with pregnancy. Especially if MC is delivering at home, he probably has no idea what is right or wrong so seeing something completely natural may make him panic on the inside because he’s really unsure. He just has a natural talent at knowing what to do in situations.

Lucien:

Lucien has seen some shit. Nothing fazes this man, let’s be honest. Out of all the suitors, I believe Lucien has seen the most gruesome and disturbing events this goes without including Helios. **CHAPTERS 10+ SPOILERS AHEAD**

Lucien has practically been a test subject his whole life. His evol is still very confusing to us, but the best way to explain it is by saying he has the ability to “copy” or “steal” evols. There’s not much information covering this yet so I won’t get that far into it, however, he was only one of the many experiments, such as Hades, who have been tested on and survive. Being grown up as an experiment automatically helps develop a stronger stomach for him. Even if he might’ve had a weak stomach as a child, constantly being put through this stuff his whole life surly would’ve had an affect on how much he would be able to handle. Seeing the same stuff over and over again, consistently would eventually build up tolerance to the point where he can handle almost any sort of injuries or accidents. So Lucien has one of the strongest if not the strongest among the group.

Then there’s pregnancy. He is there. He is ready to deliver the baby himself. Yes, he can do that. No, I don’t think he is completely qualified LMAO but let’s be real here, he’s a prodigy and one of the most intelligent people in Loveland City honestly probably even the country. This is like a walk in the park for him. He knows everything about pregnancy MINUS THE PAIN and everything to do in this situation. He keeps a smile on his face the whole time as well. Very loving and supportive while delivering their own baby. The blood and sight of pregnancy doesn’t faze him one bit. He only gets worried when MC looks terribly in pain. He does everything he can to soothe the pain for her and takes care of everything after to let her rest. Honestly hate how amazing of a husband and dad he would be. Overall, he has one hell of a strong stomach with pregnancy and a very strong stomach with accidents/injuries.

#mlqc #mr. love queen's choice #mr. love #mlqc victor #mlqc gavin #mlqc kiro #mlqc shaw #mlqc lucien #mlqc haku #mlqc zen #mlqc kira #mlqc simon #these are just my insights and thoughts #it was interesting to write about though because it made me wonder how bothered shaw and lucien really get #the others are pretty straightforward when it comes to this #but shaw and lucien are experts at hiding their thoughts and feelings #both in different ways though #shaw is good at it because he’s unpretictable and acts on a whim #lucien is more grounded and has a plan in mind 24/7 so it’s a bit easier to guess what he’s thinking since he doesnt waver as much #thanks for the ask! #hope you enjoy #<333

[cherry-ber]

Too drunk to fuck pt.9

Previous | Part one

Whatever that text was supposed to mean, you didn't care. You purposely ignored and avoided Mark the whole week, and after a few ignored messages, he gave up, and seemed to understand what you were probably thinking, every day Jaemin walked you home -because then you'd spend more time together than if he drove, he said- after a day in school with your new friends, and every day promised to be better than the last one. Friday came sooner than expected, and you got up earlier to dress extra special, tonight's dinner with Jaemin and your parents, although excited, made you incredibly anxious. So many things could go wrong.

When the classes were over, Jaemin was waiting for you outside of your classroom, holding your hand and giving you a sweet kiss as soon as he saw you. He carried your bag as you walked to his car, before you were home for dinner, he figured it would be nice to have a real first date, not a risky late night trip or an awkward meeting with your parents. He'd never done that, dating had never been important for him, he was too busy, and too invested with his deals and his friends, no time for girls and feelings at all, but he did a great job at planning, though. He took you to a museum, fair enough, you had to go as an assignment from Art class, but when you asked him to be your museum date, he was absolutely into it, then he took you to an ice cream parlor, a cute one, with the prettiest walls and decorations, and the best ice cream you've ever had. He took you flower picking, and to a park with lots of dogs being walked, and finally back home, just in time for you to be earlier than your parents. He greeted them politely, and your father was happy to see him again. Jaemin looked as handsome as he always did, but putting on his good boy persona, he looked softer and nicer than he usually did. His hair was pushed back, and he was wearing a light, baby blue sweater, that matched your baby blue, princess dress, your mom wasted no time mentioning how cute it was that you wore matching outfits, although it was actually a big casualty you did.

They had many, too many, questions for him. How you two met, how long you'd been friends, what classes you had together, what did the rest of your friends do, what did he want to do for a leaving, what were his plans after school. Jaemin handled every single question and gave an answer to every question that astonished your parents.

Jaemin's phone received a bunch of calls, he never picked up, arguing that if it were truly important, no one would really call him, but when your parents stood up the table for a couple minutes, and he finally had time to check his phone, all the calls were Mark's, but he left no message, and your date assumed it was, probably, not important at all. Usually, at least some months ago, on Fridays they'd be going to the abandoned warehouse, get drunk and have a race, or maybe they'd be shoplifting, attending their clients and playing dumb when they got caught, and although Jaemin, and the rest of his friends, knew it was bad, a tiny particle in his mind is telling him that he should be doing that right know. There's a part of them that has accepted the path they started walking so long ago, and it's a shame that they did, since the could be doing so much better.

After the food, and the awkward, intrusive, questions were out of the table, Jaemin suggested you went to Jeno's place again, and because you had no interest in staying home, you agreed, asked your parents permission to be home, and reluctantly they said yes, although you knew they agreed basically because Jaemin is too convincing, and too likeable.

He drove with the windows down, which made the chilly air play with his hair, giving him this absolutely attractive, messy hairstyle, and then all you wanted to do was to make him stop and kiss him while you ran your fingers through his hair. The annoying ringtone of your phone got your mind back to where you were sitting, and looking at the notification bar, you notice how many texts from Mark you got all day long, last one being received in thus exact moment.

“Friday, 7:15 a.m, Mark ♡:

hey”

“can we meet today?”

“Friday, 8:30 a.m, Mark ♡:

are you free after this period?”

“Friday, 9:48 a.m, Mark♡:

are you okay?”

“Y/N”

“???”

“Friday, 2:45 p.m, Mark♡:

are you at home”

“did I do something wrong?”

“Friday, 4:04 p.m, Mark ♡:

I think you hate me?”

“wait”

“you're with jaemin right?”

“Friday, 6:36 p.m, Mark ♡:

So i saw jaemin driving”

“And i was about to get close”

“and then i see you on the passenger side”

“you couldve replied, yk”

“Friday, 7:19 p.m, Mark ♡:

Ans know im fucking drunkk”

“fuck yOu”

“actually no”

“Friday, 8:58 p.m, Mark ♡:

hu sorry im liken really rly drunk”

“im at jenooossssss'”

“ypu should comeb too”

By the time you finished reading, it was too late, Jaemin had already parked, and when the men inside noticed, all of them, except Mark, came out to greet him, and when they saw you, they couldn't look happier. They urged you inside, but before you could get to the living room with them, Jeno stopped you and Jaemin.

“So, look, Mark is... Kinda sensitive right now” he looks into his direction, Mark sitting on the floor, with his head head resting on Renjun's lap, he's laughing and smiling and rubbing his hands on the carpet “I don't know what he had, he's drunk but, I think he might be high too”

Jaemin makes an effort to keep his annoyance unseen, remembering that every time Mark drinks, it's a mistake, a mistake that he's gonna have to solve.

“Just” Jeno knows, Jeno can read Jaemin like a book, and although he agrees that they shouldn't be the ones caring after his oldest friend, he can't let him alone whenever he needs them “don't mind him, he's saying weird shit, he's harmless”

Jeno sits in the couch next to Renjun, trying to block Mark's view of you, but when you walk in, holding Jaemin's hand, he loses it. His laugh is insanely loud, and it's almost scary, making Jaemin squeeze your hand harder between his, and he grabs someone's drink and takes it in a single sip, you can tell it was strong, because of the face he's making. Suddenly, everyone in the room is uncomfortable, waiting for someone to make the next move.

After minutes of staring at the wall in front of him, Mark stands up, tumbling when he does, and walks closer to you, stopping when you are just a few centimeters away from him. Jaemin reacts immediately, pushing Mark away from you, and putting himself between you two. Mark giggles, he looks innocent, and when you're about to apologize to him, that sweet look disappears.

“Are you really gonna let her get between us?” he asks jaemin, arrogance in his tone, and absolutely spiteful when he looks at you.

“You're drunk, go home” all eyes are on them both, but no one really dares to interfere.

“Is that all you're going to say?” he walks closer to Jaemin, and although he wishes that Mark doesn't do anything else, he's ready for whatever he tries “is that it, huh? I give you a home when you need it, a job, money, my time” he grabs Jaemin by the collar of his shirt “I let you into my life” Renjun rushes to you, dragging you out of the room, meanwhile Jeno and Donghyuck try to get Mark and Jaemin away from each other.

Everything happened too fast, and you can't even complain when Renjun walks you upstairs to Jeno's room and locks the door. You can hear the screaming from downstairs and there's nothing you can do to help. Your mom couldn't have possibly chosen a worst time to call, lying, you tell her that as soon as the movie you're watching is over, Jaemin will drive you back home.

Jisung and Chenle are leaving, after Renjun insisted that they shouldn't be there, although they are worried, they know there's not much they can do, and promise to be ready if something else happens, they say you goodbye from the porch, and offer to walk you home, but you know you can't leave just yet.

Jeno was successful in calming Jaemin down, but Mark wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted, Donghyuck and Renjun getting tired of dealing with him, but doing it anyway because the idea of what could come next was too scary. Jaemin unlocks the door, and brings you back down, with Jeno and himself protecting you from whatever Mark could try, going outside and into his car. Jeno apologizes to the both of you, and runs back inside.

Jaemin doesn't speak in the whole way back home, when he stops, he opens the door for you, walks you to the door, and says sorry when you open the door. You can only shake your head and give him a kind smile, hoping that he understands what you are trying to say. He drives away, but instead of going home, as you wished he did, he takes the way back to the mess, you watch him drive off, and you can only hope that things don't end up too bad.

“Saturday, 1:26 a.m, unknown number:

Don't panic, but Mark's in the hospital”

next♡

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

A.N: well that escalated quickly 😳

HeyyYYYyYy I'm finally bringing this back, after, well, i got notes from the whole series again. I hope you're having a good time guys, be healthy, be safe.

#nct #nct 127 #nct theme #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct blurbs #nct drabbles #nct bad boy au #nct blog #nct angst #nct au #nct imagines #nct hard hours #nct soft hours #nct soft imagines #mark lee scenarios #mark drabbles #mark imagines #mark lee #nct mark #mark lee smut #mark lee imagines #mark smut #jaemin scenarios #jaemin smut #nct dream smut #nct smut #jaemin angst #nct fake chats #nct fake texts

[vangoghmusings]

a/n: hello! i’ve been wanting to do this for a while now since im a huge astrology nerd (so i know what im talking about teehee)  so this is male match-ups according to sign and compatibility. this isn’t my usual kind of writing so i hope you guys like it!! <3 if you don’t know your sign check here  

this took me so long oh my god i hope you guys like it 

taglist: @mixfi @lilacskyura @katsuhoee ​ @moonlightinsanity​ @anime-waifuuu @iiminibattlehero @leeeah-loooser​ @bby-chloe1999​ @verymuchbabey @h0wab0utw3d0ntd0that@unknownweeabo @cookednoodlez @helloshoutohere @star-mum​ @izuku-sakura​ @thegalxe

UA STUDENTS

Katsuki Bakugou- April 20; Taurus

the absolute SHOCK in my face to learn he wasn’t an aries

it would be expected that katsuki is a fire sign, like cmon look at his quirk

but taurus is actually an earth sign 

taurus are typically seen as quite calm, but,, 

katsuki does seem like a true taurus in many ways

they can be stubborn and unwilling to compromise 

they are very realistic 

HATE FEELING INSECURE

they are often great at cooking and love to shop 

i feel like katsuki isn’t a self indulgent shopper but would buy anything for his s/o 

taurus are really good at working with their hands ;) 

theyre soft romantic bbs and as much as katsuki hates being vulnerable he’d definetly be a softie with his s/o 

id match katsuki with a calm pisces

Izuku Midoria- July 15; Cancer

i am not shocked at ALL to see that the lil broccoli boy is a cancer

like cmon he’s so sensitive 

he is a cancer to the T

he’s loyal, emotional, imaginative 

he also carries the negative traits of many cancers

such as feeling insecure and having difficulty taking criticism 

i mean the kid breaks his bones to prove others wrong 

cancers love being with their friends and family 

and they love helping others

the career of a hero would be natural for cancers

cancers are such sweet babies and izuku fits right into that category 

i would match izuku with a chill taurus 

Tenya Iida- August 22; Leo 

i didn’t expect tenya to be a leo but im also not surprised 

leos are often seen as flashy and arrogant 

but they’re more than their stereotype

leos are passionate and natural born leaders

like cmon class rep! 

tenya being a leo makes a lot of sense 

he’s generous and kind and always strives for the best 

they tend to be a bit dramatic, and tenya can be too 

being that leos are a fire sign they gravitate to self growth

this can be seen in tenya wanting to improve and challenging himself 

leos struggle facing harsh realities, similarly to tenya when he learned about what happened to tensei 

leos are known for their bravery and tenya fits right in

i would match tenya with a kind aquarius 

Shoto Todoroki- January 11; Capricorn 

i practically screamed when i realized shoto was a capricorn 

it just makes way too much sense 

they’re responsible, well-mannered, respectful !!!!

HOW IS HE SO HOT AND RESPECTFUL

capricorns i just,, i love them, truly 

shoto is no exception 

they love family, things of quality, traditions 

and their dislikes vary from day to day

why?

cause they’re iconic thats why 

however, capricorns aren’t always the nicest 

they tend to be condescending and can often come off as rude 

they’re incredibly unforgiving *ahem endeavor ahem* 

but, its because they just have naturally high standards 

it makes sense that he is an earth sign because he’s super grounded 

because saturn rules capricorn, the tend to seem cold and distant at times

but they are incredibly loyal friends and always strive for the best 

i would match shoto with a down to earth cancer

Mashiro Ojiro- May 28; Gemini 

i must admit, i was surprised to learn ojiro is a gemini

but if you really look at his character it makes a lot of sense 

gemini’s have a bad rep of being too faced

they’re actually one of my favorite signs!!

gemini’s are are gentle and affectionate 

and sweet bb ojiro is exactly that 

however they also tend to be quite anxious, another thing ojiro happens to be at times as well 

they’re very adaptable people

this can be seen throughout ojiro’s training and how much he learns and is willing to continue striving for 

gemini’s are very sociable and will talk to almost anyone 

like, he doesn’t see hagakure but they’re still good friends 

this is why i think ojiro would do great with a fire sign 

i would match ojiro with a cheerful sagittarius 

Denki Kaminari- June 29; Cancer 

alright cancer number two!! 

to be honest, denki doesn’t really give cancer vibes 

but, his personality traits align to much of what a cancer is 

tenacious and loyal 

and denki is definitely that 

however, cancers can be suspicious of others and their actions

and denki feels like the kind of guy to snoop on somebody 

but we gotta give denki some credit 

cancers strive to be there for their friends no matter what

denki shows this in the usj attack when he protects momo and jiro 

cancers tend to avoid conflict but even so, they search for conflict in those who pose bigger threats to them

similarly to when denki makes fun of bakugou even though he could totally blow him up 

denki is a chatty and flirty baby 

and cancers tend to be most compatible with earth signs 

buuut i think denki would be better suited with a fire sign 

i’d match denki with an outgoing aries 

Hanta Sero- July 28; Leo 

at first i was like hmmm no 

but then i used my brain and i was like actually yes 

leos are prideful and while sero doesn’t seem like the boastful kind, he does have a lot of pride in himself 

leos are very committed to their goals and sero’s actions show his dedication to becoming a hero 

leos are also so funny?? and sero is literally one of the funniest guys of 1A 

sero is one of the most sociable in the class and a total class clown 

leos are almost always seen with their friends and sero is no different 

sero’s vibes are just immaculate in my opinions 

so his s/o needs to match the energy 

i would match sero with a funny gemini 

Eijiro Kirishima- October 16; Libra

GOD IT JUST MAKES SO MUCH SENSE 

I CANT EVEN EXPRESS

THE ACCURACY

ok ok but seriously, of course kiri is a libra 

libras are diplomatic, fair, and strive for justice 

aka being MANLY is in the stars for bb kiri 

however, libras aren’t the most confident people 

they’re quite insecure and pity themselves a’lot 

which makes sense that its canon that it took kiri so long to accept his quirk 

have you ever wondered why kiri is so hot and cute and perfect?

ITS BECAUSE HES A LIBRA

im not even kidding

libras are known for being physically attractive 

i mean libra is literally ruled by venus

who else is venus?

APHRODITE AKA THE GODDESS OF LOVE

long story short, kiri is the god of love 

libras hate being alone

why do you think he puts up with bakugou constantly calling him shitty hair and pushing him around? 

i considered putting kiri with a water sign but they’re kinda babies (no offense i love my water signs) 

but i don’t think he could handle a person who is constantly emotional like many water signs are 

i would match kiri with a kind-hearted sagittarius 

Hitoshi Shinso- July 1; Cancer 

jesus christ ANOTHER CANCER?? 

i cant even be upset cause it makes sense 

while i would’ve thought shinso was a calm scorpio or a relaxde picses 

he fits much better as a cancer 

as mentioned previously with deku and denki, cancers really do have a heart of gold and just want to help people 

cancers are also very manipulative people 

i mean, look at this mans quirk 

cancers are also moody and pessimistic 

characteristics that shinsou has but are seen more as stoic and quiet

but cancers are also sympathetic 

and bb shinsou is a softie i just know it 

cancers are guided by emotion

like deku, he is seen as passionate for his desire to be a hero, even though his quirk is seen to be one of evil 

shinsou needs to be with someone who’s willing to listen when he opens up (which cancers hate doing)

i would match shinsou with an understanding taurus

Tamaki Amajiki- March 1; Aries

HUH

HUUUUH???

youre telling me this man is an aries and bakugou isnt?? 

i need to collect my thoughts 

OK so tamaki is an aries 

and honestly its pretty accurate

most times aries are seen as passionate in a reckless and angry manner

but tamaki’s passion is displayed in his dedication to being a hero 

i mean he’s literally in the big 3 

aries tend to be moody, which is seen in tamaki’s shy actions 

but they’re also enthusiastic and courageous 

tamaki’s courage is shown in the mission to rescue eri 

aries are seen as intimidating and tamaki’s dark features are exactly that 

and while he is very shy, he needs someone to help bring him out of his shell delicately 

id match tamaki with a gentle libra 

Mirio Togata- July 15; Cancer 

whats up with mirio and deku sharing the same bday doe 

this is way too many cancers 

BUT mirio is such a cancer lets be real 

we’ve covered the basics of cancers

sensitive 

loyal 

will do anything for others 

and most importantly brave

the sign of a cancer is a crab 

the crab symbolizes someone who doesn’t realize their great strength  

mirio is the personification of the strength of the crab 

and poor baby has gone through so much and deserves the world 

he’s so cheerful but he needs someone to be there for him when he’s at his most emotional moments 

i would match mirio with a tender capricorn 

PRO-HEROES

Shota Aizawa- November 8; Scorpio 

i mean cmon 

ofc dadzawa is a scorpio 

he’s the image of a stereotypical scorpio 

dark features, dark clothing, serious and kinda rude 

but scorpios get a bad rep for being meanies (we should be watching out for virgos tho) (jk jk i love my virgos <3) 

but scorpios have some of the best characteristics 

their loyalty is beyond words 

they would literally lay down their life for a friend or the good of others 

scorpios are passionate and assertive, and this side of aizawa definitely comes out 

aizawa is so stoic he needs somebody to soften him up 

i would match aizawa with a cheery cancer 

Hizashi Yamada- July 7; Cancer

another f*cking cancer

AND IT MAKES SENSE 

not just because aizawa and him are married and he’s a cancer and it totally makes sense 

but hizashi is such a cancer oh my god 

he’s sensitive, and caring, and brave, and a literal pro hero 

which is a cancer living the dream 

cancers often have difficult childhoods and struggle immensely to find outlets 

this fits with the theory that as a child, hizashi was put up for adoption and/or muzzled as a child because of his powerful quirk 

cancers are ruled by the moon, which would make sense to why they are so emotional 

because the moon goes through phases, so do they

hizashi needs someone that would help him be strong outside of his hero work and for his own mentality 

i would match hizashi with (aizawa or) a charismatic virgo 

Toshinori Yagi- June 10; Gemini 

ofc all might is a gemini 

he literally has 2 forms

and geminis are literally two faced

it makes so much sense that the symbol of peace is a gemini 

he’s adaptable and a quick learner 

geminis are affectionate and you cant tell me toshi isn’t the biggest cuddler and softie in the world 

geminis are people pleasers and just want to make others happy 

and all might’s literal thing is smiling to comfort those in fear

toshi needs someone who is understanding of what he had gone through as a retired hero and the bearer of one for all 

i would match toshi with an inquisitive aquarius 

Keigo Takami- December 28; Capricorn 

DADDY

ok but he is such a capricorn its not even funny 

he’s a cocky know-it-all kind of capricorn 

but he’s also a responsible and well mannered capricorn

capricorns are people who are willing to take on immense responsibilities 

and hawks is literally the no. 2 hero so of course he’s got a lot of responsibilities 

because he’s an earth sign, we wants to get the most out of what the world has to offer him 

including fame and money 

but hawk’s head strong and professional attitude is what comforts people and makes him such a great hero 

he needs someone who would match his energy well 

i would match keigo with a level-headed scorpio

VILLAINS 

Dabi- January 18; Aquarius 

FINALLY AN AQUARIUS

i have a deep love for this sign 

dabi is an aquarius and it is so accurate 

aquarius love to fight for a cause

in dabi’s eyes, the league of villains is the best cause he can support

and he’s at the front lines

they’re considered humanitarians,,and dabi is in his own “special way” 

aquarius love a good conspiracy and mystery 

and dabi is a total mystery 

aquarius constantly have to be stimulated and doing something

otherwise their boredom can lead to reckless actions 

they are also anti all emotions 

this is why they seem so aloof, they don’t know how to confront their own feelings 

i’d pair dabi up with someone who is willing to listen to him and hopefully allow him to open up 

i would match dabi with a charming sagittarius 

Tomura Shigaraki- April 4; Aries

now this is a stereotypical aries 

aries is ruled by mars, which was named after aries 

AKA THE GOD OF WAR??

like his literal goal is to destroy society,, 

aries love to be in leadership roles

they’re also short-tempered 

impulsive

and aggressive 

how ever, his more “positive” traits such as determination and passion are also evident in his characteristics 

they’re competitive people and tomura definitely is one 

tomura would need to be with someone who is calm  

i would match tomura with a patient leo 

Kai Chisaki- Birthdate Unknown;NA 

so kai’s sign is unknown 

BUT

he still deserves a match up 

besides his stance in villainy

kai as actually very well mannered and polite 

but he doesn’t value human life and sees his as more important and pure than those who are “sick” 

a lot of his characteristics would lead me to believe he is an unevolved sociopathic capricorn 

outside of being a villain i would match kai with someone who was understanding and a good listener 

i would match kai with a sympathetic pisces 

#mha #bmha #mha fanfiction #mha imagines #bnmha #bnmha requests #bnha headcanons #bnha imagines #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bmha headcanons #bmha requests #bmha x reader #bmha matchups #zodiacs #astrology #horoscopes #mha zodiac #bnha zodiac #izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugo #shoto todoroki #tenya iida #uraraka ochacho #aizawa #present mic #all might #lov #league of villains #shinsou

[cofferi]

Weird question and I promise that I’m not being discourse-y, but I saw that you called Eren Jäger “Baby” in your tags. Im kind of curious about how you see him as a character.

not weird at all! i am actually super excited to answer your question haha.

(preface: i just want to say firstly that i am not a manga-reader. i am only caught up to the most recent anime ep. so if there is even more problematic shit that eren does in the future, consider my opinions subject to change lol. my views on him have definitely been moving around since i last called him baby in the tags, and definitely since the siege on marley was put into context. in case you’re curious, see my other little answer to an anon regarding eren from jan 11!)

chaotic justice is probably my favourite type of character, so for better or for worse i think eren’s development is one to write down in the books. did i think he was justified for his ideals in the beginning? sure. do i think he is entirely justified now? maybe not. but to me it’s not about being justified or not. it’s about being interesting. when i see eren constantly being kicked while he’s down over the course of the show, it almost feels like it’s high time he start kicking back. i’ve always liked his character and rooted for him, and i honestly don’t think there is anything i would start to hate him for other than if he did something that i really didn’t think was in-character or if his line of logic didn’t make sense. but so far i think he's been pretty solid and understandable.

on a little more grander scale, i am rooting for eren specifically because he also happens to be the main character. as we see in season 4, gabi is literally the same type of character as eren. in every single way. but i find myself hating her specifically because she is the enemy. no other reason. i mean, sure, we didn’t get a lot of screentime with her. but that’s kind of the point. you root for people you like and wish for the demise of people you hate. why do you hate them? because they’re on the other side. that is the very simplistic conclusion that enlightened eren comes to. he has to abide by this principle because if he doesn’t, he will die. and his friends will die. and you may say “oh well maybe not, maybe eren could’ve just been peaceful or found another way.” and that may be. but really? in eren’s mind, that’s not reality. 99% of the scouting legion had their bodies rearranged. reiner and bert were his bros, and i don’t think i need to reiterate every event that has transpired. we all know eren has never known peace so why are we expecting peace from him now.

like i didn’t come to snk for a grand old time of people being nice to each other. i came here for the drama. eren is not entirely justified, but we were specifically asked in the beginning of the show if we were ok with a main character, as a 10 year old no less, murdering a bunch of guys. and you might say, sure, he did it in self-defence. but, i mean, he did it pretty evilly. that crazed look is not exactly the mark of a wholesome character. i really have to question some people who hate what eren has become, like they cannot separate their own ideals from him or they forgot that he has been repeatedly characterized as capable of hurting people whom he thinks are in the wrong. as if seasons 1-3 didn’t take so agonizingly long just to get back to BASELINE (plugging wall maria that was destroyed in ep 1) that anyone could become impatient and cynical and anxious that they are progressing too slowly while there are enemies out there literally waiting to kill them. season 4 just takes eren to his logical extreme. is genocide a bit excessive? could he have toned it down a bit? ehh, i mean at this point i almost feel like 5 or 10 or genocide is all the same.

the message is very clear: the cycle of destruction of enemies discriminating and hating and killing each other will continue. and it will continue until...? who knows? unlike a lot of other stories, eren is not the solution or the one that resolves everything -- he is merely a symptom. which i think is still very consistent with the way he’s been treated the whole show. he’s the main character but has always been in a helpless position. he can’t do something, something is happening to him, he is kidnapped for the hundredth time. the plot was driving him rather than him driving the plot. so at least now he has found a way to be the most in control he’s ever been. and yeah, i think that’s pretty badass. and yeah, unfortunately that is also in the form of genocide. but what can you do.

#snk spoilers #!!! #i love eren #is he still baby....?? now y'all are going to make me feel guilty for calling him that lol #feel free to discourse with me #as long as it's rational #ask