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poetrusicperry · 3 years

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Running Towards Nothing

Chapter One

a/n: hello !! @noelliza and i fleshed out an idea about if todd came from out of state (specifically, somewhere in the southern united states) to attend welton, so i wrote it heh. i’m not sure how many parts this will be (if people like it enough for me to continue posting lol), but i have the first like... five written haha. so yes, todd is from the south (alabama) and i don’t know much about the south bc i'm from the west coast, but i tried haha. hope you guys like it !! xx

chapter summary: something in todd’s past is the reason for his family’s move, leading to a new neighborhood, a new school, a roommate he was never expecting, and an overall shift in his life.

pairing: todd anderson x neil perry

warnings: none (i don’t think there are any in this chapter, but if anyone spots something, let me know !)

word count: 2479

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If there was one thing Todd missed about home, it was the sky; the sun set differently over the rolling hills of Vermont than the grassy fields of Alabama. He was used to seeing all of the elongated, blue canvas sky that melted into bright shades of pink and orange along the horizon; there was nothing in the way of the creation, just a plain view of where the heavens met the earth. In the northeast, however, the sunset snagged on the seemingly-black pointed edges of trees and lush branches, interrupting the gradient leaving only soft blue and speckles of marigold.

But he had experienced his last Alabama sunset two days ago, and there was no going back. Not for a really, really long time (if ever). After the events of the past few months, there was no way Todd could ever show his face again, even if he really wanted to. Now, Todd Anderson and his family were living in the suburbs of Vermont, where, as his parents hoped, the past would stay hidden and they could build a new façade for the one Todd had recently, though unintentionally, demolished.

As Todd sat on the floor of his new, empty room, surrounded only by boxes and his bed (which didn’t have a box spring or frame yet), he gazed out of his window forlornly. Through the toothbrush-tipped trees that were jam packed along his new horizon, he could make out the silhouette of a church’s steeple. One that, no doubt, would be frequented by his mother and father while his brother, Jeffrey, was out of state at college, and Todd himself attended the prep school just a few blocks down the road. Out of all the cities in Vermont, Todd’s parents had picked the one with the lowest population and tourist pull, which meant not a lot of people inhabiting the city. However, on the flipside, there wasn’t a wide variety of schools to choose from. Back in Alabama, Todd had attended his local public high school, Nixon, and would have been an incoming senior there if certain... events hadn’t occurred. Instead, Todd was now forced to continue his education at what was deemed “the best all boys prep school in the United States” by his parents and surrounding boarding schools (no pressure).

Todd’s mind wandered through the recent weeks, pulling apart everything that had happened like rotten cotton candy. This was his life now: a new state, a new town, a new school, brand new everything. And yet, Todd felt stuck between wanting to start over and aching to hold onto his old life. If those five seconds could have gone differently, he’d be preparing for his first day of senior year with all his friends at Nixon. But his friends would never speak to him again, and he’d never walk the halls of Nixon High School ever again. Todd wondered what he could possibly be holding onto? There was nothing in a place he considered home and nothing in a new place that would likely never be home. So much of his past, he wanted to leave behind, but he just… knew that he couldn’t.

As he reached into the open box beside him, there was a knock on the door. When Todd didn’t answer, the door cracked open, revealing the familiar face of his older brother.

“Hey, I was going to go on a drive around town, maybe see some of the cool hangout spots if you wanted to come. I know I’m leaving for school in a couple weeks, but might as well check out some places anyway?”

Jeff always had a way of talking to Todd gently, never with any hints of condescension in his tone. After all, Jeff was the only person in the house who ever acknowledged Todd’s existence. And after everything that had happened, Todd was certain he was no closer to gaining support from his parents than a couple months prior; in fact, he’d been quite sure he was further from garnering any cent of respect, let alone support.

“Oh, uh… right now?” Todd spoke, barely above a whisper. He knew he didn’t need to feel embarrassed or nervous around Jeff, but that’s just how things were for him now. Anything he said or did felt… wrong, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

“Yeah, I think Mom and Dad went to pick up some dinner, so I was just thinking that we could head out for a few minutes. Maybe get a little familiar with town and stuff,” Jeff smiled at Todd, his perfectly straight teeth somehow still gleaming in the darkening light of Todd’s room, “Come on, I know you probably don’t feel up to it, but it’d be better than sitting in here while it progressively gets darker,” Jeff attempted to joke, laughing slightly.

Todd gave him a half smile, half grimace, “Alright. Think I need a jacket?”

“Want to drive with the top down, so probably,” Jeff smiled, smacking the doorway and turning down the hallway, “Leaving in five!” he called down the hall as he went.

While they rode leisurely around town, Todd kept his head mostly turned to the side, leaning his cheek on his arm and taking in all the things they drove past. Lots of houses on moderate pieces of land lined the streets; they were nothing like the spacious farms and open pastures of Alabama. Up until recently, Todd had always considered the south home. But truth be told, he wasn’t sure what home was anymore.

“Oh, sweet, Todd, look! There’s an arcade!” Jeff patted Todd’s shoulder with the back of his hand as he cruised down the street. The big neon lights were hanging over a brick building spelling “GAMES & POOL.” It looked like the marquees Todd had seen of New York City in the magazines. He just nodded at his brother’s sentiment as they pulled up to the red light. Glancing up at the bright sign once more, his gaze was torn away when the door to the arcade opened, revealing five lanky boys spilling out onto the sidewalk.

“I told you I was going to beat the high score and you punks didn’t believe me!” one with sandy hair said, walking backwards and facing his friends. His face was twisted into a mischievous grin and his voice ricocheted across the street as the boys seemed to be making their way to the movie theatre a few doors down.

“Charlie, no one cares that you beat the high score,” the tallest one replied; Todd noticed he had a flattop haircut, which is something no one in Alabama would have ever had; Todd thought it looked neat. The flattop’s sentiment earned a chuckle from all the boys, but a particularly loud laugh from a tall, dark-haired boy standing toward the front of the group. He wore beige slacks and a tucked in red flannel with black and white hi-top Chuck Taylor’s. And Todd noticed his dimples were deep into his cheeks while he laughed. As the boys walked down the sidewalk to the theatre ticket vestibule, the light turned green and Jeff began to drive. As the car passed the group, the dark-haired boy looked up and locked eyes with Todd.

“Neil, still five for Gidget?” the ginger one with glasses said. The dark-haired boy (who Todd could now assume was Neil) held Todd’s gaze for a couple more seconds before tearing his eyes away and nodding at his friend. Todd’s cheeks were ablaze as Jeff drove further away. Trying to not move his head, Todd simply looked back at the boys in the side mirror until they were simply blobbed figures standing under the light of the theatre.

When Todd and Jeff arrived home, their parents’ car was in the driveway, and the light in the kitchen was on.

“Hope you’re hungry,” Jeff turned to Todd as he switched the engine off. He just looked at Jeff blankly; his appetite had still not returned, so he didn’t feel hungry much anymore, “I know I am,” Jeff smiled, ruffling Todd’s hair and easing the tension between them. He nodded a little bit and opened the door, Jeff doing the same. As Jeff made his way up the steps, Todd trailed behind him, not wanting to be the first person his parents saw.

“Jeffy, is that you?” his mother’s voice called from the kitchen.

“Yeah, Mom, we just went to check out the neighborhood a bit,” Jeff called, slowing his pace, falling into step with Todd and slinging his arm around his little brother’s shoulder.

“Dinner’s on the table, dear,” she replied as the boys walked into the dining room.

“Smells good, Ma,” Jeff smiled, taking his seat at the table after patting Todd’s shoulder. Todd sat down tentatively and stared at the spread in front of him. His parents had gotten KFC for the second night in a row, and Todd was about as excited as he was the first time (that being not at all).

“I know we had it last night, but it really just reminds me of the food back home,” his mother said, pulling her napkin into her lap.

“You boys eat up, now,” his father said, gesturing to the bucket of chicken and sides in front of the pair. Jeff grabbed his food, and took extra care to offer Todd all of the things he picked up for himself. While their parents busied themselves in a conversation about the pie their neighbors had dropped off, Jeff nudged Todd lightly,

“Look, I know you’re not hungry, but have a biscuit at least, okay?” he muttered and held one out to his younger brother. Todd took it hesitantly, put it in the middle of his plate, and stared at it, “Come on, Todd. Please,” Jeff mumbled again.

“What’s that, Jeffrey?” his father turned to him.

“Oh, nothing, Pop, just telling Todd to have some dinner,” Jeff smiled small. Todd’s father looked at him with disgust.

“Eat,” he grunted. At the timbre of his father’s voice, Todd flinched slightly and picked off a part of the biscuit to nibble on while the conversation turned to Jeff’s plans for the fall semester. Fading into the background (as usual), Todd tuned out the conversation and focused really hard on his white Chuck Taylor’s, getting a flash of the tall, dark-haired boy’s face in his mind. Neil. Shaking his head slightly, Todd adjusted his gaze to the plate in front of him and waited for another painful dinner to end.

When the summer had wound down and the weeks in Vermont had become more familiar, Todd’s parents had busied themselves with getting Jeff ready for dorm move-in and paying little, if any, attention to Todd. Currently, Todd was up in his room, preparing for convocation the next day. Jeffrey had left the past Thursday, driving up on his own. He had told Todd to not take everything so seriously and to do the best he could (because he knew that Todd was capable of a lot of things). He also mentioned that he was just a call away if Todd ever needed anything (he wrote his telephone number onto a scrap of paper). Todd had searched the arcade and the theatre a couple times in the hopes of running into the group of boys he had seen on their second night in town, but to no avail.

Sitting in front of the mirror, Todd analyzed himself. His hair had grown out kind of long, and his mother hadn’t taken him to get it cut, so he’d have to deal with that, but everything else looked normal. Things certainly didn’t feel normal, but he was used to the discomfort by now. The only thing he was truly worried about was his stupid accent. He’d spent the last few weeks hanging around diners and spots with Jeff, and hadn’t heard a single southern accent. He knew his drawl would just make him appear stupid to all these super educated kids, so he’d put a lot of effort into controlling it. He was actually doing okay at it, he just needed to make sure he didn’t slip up. Todd didn’t need any aspect of his personality or appearance to be called attention to. He got up from the floor and crawled into bed, dreading what the next day and year would bring.

Convocation turtled by, two hours of sitting in a church pew and listening to some headmaster spout of statistics that Todd didn’t care about. As far as he was concerned, he wanted to finish his senior year and get the hell out of here; Todd had always wanted to go to California, but his parents told him it was a pipe dream (“After the stunt you pulled in Alabama, we won’t be funding your college anywhere!” his father had yelled).

“Ah, Mr. Anderson, is it?” the headmaster questioned when it was Todd’s turn to be introduced after the ceremony.

“U-uh, yes sir,” he mumbled.

“Well, we don’t normally take public school transfers, but you will fit in well here. Any major problems you let me know,” he shook Todd’s hand rather harshly.

“Thank you, sir,” he nodded and moved along.

Feeling his chest start to tighten, Todd made his way out onto the grass where he sat down against a tree and waited for his parents. After an uncomfortable and awkward goodbye with them, he roamed the grounds a little bit, practicing his newly-fashioned accent quietly to himself. As he rounded a corner to the courtyard, he bumped shoulders with a boy, and turned to apologize, dead-set on making his southern accent unknown (or as unknown as it could be).

“Ope- sorry about that,” the boy laughed nervously. When Todd looked up at him, it was the boy from outside the arcade all those weeks ago. Shit.

“S-sorry,” Todd mumbled. The boy nodded a little bit.

“It’s all good. I’m Neil Perry,” he smiled, holding out his hand, seemingly unaware or forgetting of the fact that they’d seen each other before.

“Todd Anderson,” he manipulated his tongue to sit flatter in his mouth, so as not to let slip his Alabaman background. He had trouble looking into Neil’s eyes, but when he got a good look, he realized they were dark, dark brown and incredibly deep.

“Oh, that’s you? I think that makes us roommates,” Neil said, patting Todd on the shoulder. Oh no, Todd thought, his cheeks flushing. Stop it, he thought to himself and cleared his throat.

“Oh… cool,” Todd nodded a little bit and pursed his lips.

“I gotta get going. See you soon!” he patted Todd’s shoulder again and took off in the direction he had been going when Todd bumped into him.

Yep, Todd sighed. This is going to be a long year.

tagging some people (especially those of you who said i should post this heh): @queertoddanderson @babytoddanderson @cupiiid @justarandompjofan @charliedaltonofficial @pretentious-strikes @aedan-mills

and a big thank you to @noelliza as always bc she’s the best and reads all my stuff before i even think about putting it anywhere on the internet lol <3

#dead poets society #anderperry #neil perry and todd anderson #todd anderson #neil perry #angelina writes

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azucanela · 3 years

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SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

PAIRING: SUGAWARA KOUSHI X FEM!READER

REQUEST: if you’re feeling into it a suga fic where they like dated during high school and later get back together after college would be awesome!! maybe fem y/n was manager for karasuno or something and they just broke up bc of distance! and if you don’t want to do this that’s perfectly okay! take care of yourself, you’re an amazing writer!!

WARNINGS: ANGST TO FLUFF. KISSING. MILD TIMESKIP SPOILERS.

WORD COUNT: 1.9k

A/N: i love suga, SUGA SUPREMACY, thank you for the request it was fun to write!

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

HE LOVED HER AND THERE WAS NO DENYING IT, but it wouldn’t be the first time that two people very in love had been forced apart for whatever the circumstances.

You could see it in the way he forced her onto the inside of the sidewalk— a small thing done in an attempt to keep her safe from possible incoming cars. You could see it in the way Sugawara’s eyes fell on her absently, so encapsulated with her words and the passion in her voice. You could see it in the way he seemed to light up when he saw her in the stands of his volleyball games, even though he likely wouldn’t be playing.

And oh did Y/N L/N love him as well. Her sad smiles at the mention of his name were evidence enough, and if not, it was the way she frequently asked Daichi and Asahi of his health full well knowing the boy had a tendency to forego taking care of himself when he was so caught up in the well being of others.

Kageyama had observed it early on— or more accurately, Hinata had observed it early on, pointing out to the young setter that his senior was obviously enamored with their second manager. Hinata’s emotional intelligence had always been far ahead of Kageyama’s, although Kageyama had noticed the difference in... treatment between the pair, he had never truly realized they were dating.

But it soon became abundantly clear that they were in fact, together. And Y/N L/N wasn’t just the other manager of the Karasuno Boy’s Volleyball Team, but the girlfriend of Sugawara Koushi.

Which is the main reason why Kageyama had suspected she hated him early on, after all he’d taken her boyfriend’s spot on the starting line up, and he had bluntly pointed this fact out to her by the vending machine one day. Though Y/N had simply laughed it off, bringing a hand to Kageyama’s shoulder and offering him a smile.

Just like Sugawara had. Maybe that’s what made them the perfect pair, Kageyama wasn’t sure. But anyone with a set of eyes could tell they were a disgustingly perfect couple.

Which is why Kageyama had never imagined they would break up. Nor had anyone in the club really. Even Asahi and Daichi were left in shock as the pair went their separate ways.

It was supposed to make things easier, leaving. They would both be abandoning everything they ever knew and heading off to college after all, and seeing as they’d both ended up at different colleges... well, how plausible was a long distance relationship?

It was a mutual break up. That they mutually did not want.

Not much changed if Y/N is honest, and maybe that’s why she didn’t find herself sobbing in her bed until she actually got to college. It was just a label, but at one point... the change became alarmingly clear to her— the fact that she and Sugawara Koushi were no longer together.

Sugawara felt it in the little things, when he went to message her good morning and remember that... they weren’t together anymore. Did Y/N even want a good morning text? Maybe she was receiving one from someone else now.

Talking wasn’t awkward, with the silent agreement that if they ever needed someone to talk to, they would always be there. But the change was painful enough to drive them apart in a way that wasn’t just physical.

It’s not until she’s seeing him again that Y/N is reminded of that very pain once more, though the smile on her face is still very genuine and authentic as she throws her arms around the three boys from her third year.

Sugawara holds on for a little too long.

“It’s so good to see you guys! Are we all excited for our boys’ final tournament of their third year?” She exclaimed as she wrapped an arm around Kiyoko.

Daichi ruffles Y/N’s hair as he grins, “of course I’m excited to see them win again.” Comes his reply.

And of course, Asahi finds himself beaming with an albeit nervous smile as he agrees, “definitely! I believe in them.”

“I dunno guys, maybe Hinata will forget to spike again,” Sugawara chimes in, jokingly of course, while Kiyoko nods along with the rest of her friends as she offers them a small smile. Her eyes drifting to the arm that Sugawara throws over Y/N’s shoulder. “It’ll be just like old times!”

Just like old times indeed.

Daichi finds himself giving Asahi a look, that is returned with a look of confusion until he gently shoves him forward, a look of realization washing over his face as he begins to walk faster and Kiyoko says, “why don’t we head on over to our seats guys?” She turns to Y/N and Sugawara, “would you mind getting us some snacks from the vendors?”

The pair exchanges looks momentarily before Y/N offers Kiyoko a smile as she nods, “yeah, of course. Any preferences?”

“The usual!” Daichi replies, waving them off as he drags Asahi away, winking at Sugawara before disappearing around the corner alongside Kiyoko as well.

Sugawara simply raises a brow, opening his mouth to say something until Y/N’s hand comes to grasp his own— loosely holding the one wrung around her shoulder as she begins to speak of which vendor they should visit.

But the only thing he can focus on is the ring she wears. For a moment, he panics, thinking that someone else has already snatched her away, that he lost the woman he loves.

Until he looks a little closer and recognizes the very promise ring he’d given her in their third year, almost identical to the one he was currently wearing around his neck, attached to a chain he’d purchased shortly into his first year of college. After all, he couldn’t bring himself to take it off either.

Y/N seems to take note of this, pausing before noticing where his gaze has fallen, her cheeks warming at the realization. “I’ve been meaning to return the ring to you, sorry about that.” She releases his hand with a tight lipped smile, moving to remove the ring, only for Sugawara’s hand to come over hers as he shakes his head.

“Keep it. What would I do with it anyways?” And who else would he give it to?

Y/N pauses, eyes drifting between the ring and Sugawara for a moment before replying, “okay.”

It’s not that they hadn’t talked at all in the past few years, just that things had changed and now neither of them new where the boundaries were. What could they do? What couldn’t they? Where was the invisible line between friend and former lover? It was a line they danced around in each interaction and today was no different.

Y/N finds herself desperately needing some space as she inhales deeply, perhaps it’s because she’s shocked by how easily he’d wormed his way back into her heart in the five seconds they’d been together now. Or maybe it’s the reminder that nothing had changed, she was still going to college across the country.

It’s not until they’re seated beside each other once more, two years later, that Y/N realizes nothing had changed.

It’s a party they’d thrown for the New Year, and practically a get together for their teammates, new and old. They pair had managed to get onto professional teams— to no ones surprise. Although the fact that they’d be opposing each other was a surprise.

Somehow, Y/N and Sugawara had found themselves on the balcony of the home, fresh out of college— which had really been the only thing keeping them apart up until now.

So, something had changed.

“You’re officially a teacher!” Y/N exclaimed, beaming at Sugawara with a smile that he quickly returns, drink in hand.

He’s leaning against the balcony. eyes drifting towards the lively city as he replies, “kind of. I was lucky to even get hired so soon after graduating.” He takes a sip of his drink, “I just hope next year is better.”

A small laugh escapes Y/N as she downs what is left of her own drink, “me too, Suga.” Their eyes meet, and she can see the way he stiffens at the name, it had been a while since she’d called him by anything other than his first name. Though Y/N disregards this fact as she asks, “so what school are you working at?”

Y/N can see the passion in his eyes as he begins to speak of the school he’ll be working at, nodding along until she realizes, she recognizes the name, mouth gaping open as she asks, “are you serious? I recently got a job at one of the corporations in that area!” She exclaimed. Sugawara is opening his mouth to say something when they suddenly hear the people inside cry out—

10.

“Oh! I didn’t realize it was that time.” Y/N mumbled, looking inside to see their friends— new and old— congregating together around the TV. She wonders how time could’ve passed so quickly, it feels as though she had only ventured out to the balcony a few minutes prior because last Y/N had checked, it was barely 10PM.

Sugawara allows a laugh to escape him as he nods, “time flies by when you’re having fun right?” And Y/N finds herself in shock momentarily, wondering if maybe he’d read her mind.

Y/N turns to him, offering him a small smile as she nods in agreement, “it does. Doesn’t it?” And Sugawara is left feeling breathless, even after all these years, her smile still seems to have that effect on him.

“I did, have fun. By the way.” Sugawara says, eyes darting between the door of the balcony and Y/N. His words are true, he did have fun, of course Sugawara would never consider lying to Y/N. And even if he did try, Sugawara had a feeling she’d be able to tell.

“We should head back inside.” She continues, eyes drifting back towards where their friends are calling out the countdown. Huddled together, Y/N finds herself smiling at the sight of Tanaka’s arm around Kiyoko’s shoulder.

Y/N meets Kiyoko’s eyes momentarily, and the look Kiyoko gives her is one of urgency, one that tells her, “don’t you dare come back here right now.” But Y/N finds herself rolling her eyes as she begins to head back inside.

Their relationship had been over for years, and yet Kiyoko was still trying to convince her that the boy’s feelings never changed. Though Y/N wouldn’t deny that she would always love Sugawara— and she had no doubt that he still loved her— those feelings were probably purely platonic now. Right?

Right. Y/N shakes off the feeling as she continues inside, until she feels a hand wrap around her wrist, keeping her from carrying on inside and yanking her backwards. Y/N finds herself colliding with Sugawara’s chest with a gasp.

Sugawara’s eyes meet hers, a clear question within them as he wordlessly places his drink on the rim of the balcony. The hand on her wrist still firmly placed there as Y/N nods slowly.

And suddenly his lips finds hers, Y/N’s arm winding around his neck with her drink still in hand while Sugawara’s hand comes to her waist in an attempt to pull her closer. Almost desperate to be closer to each other as the crowd inside begins screaming and cheering. Y/N frees her other hand from his grasp and brings it to his shirt to tug him even closer while his other hands comes to her cheek.

When they pull away, Sugawara is grinning as he says, “happy new year, babe.”

#sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara x reader #koushi x reader #koushi sugawara x reader #sugawara koshi x reader #koshi x reader #koshi sugawara x reader #sugawara x you #sugawara koushi x you #sugawara koshi x you #koshi sugawara x you #koushi sugawara x you #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyu! x reader

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andawaywego · 3 years

Note

hey love your dani/Jamie fics would love to see a story where dani tries to leave jamie earlier in the relationship because she thinks it would be less painful but obviously Jamie ain’t having that.

hey, this hurt my feelings so i wrote it for you. it’s kinda...sad. but, yeah. here ya’ go, pal.

It would be a lie if Jamie said she hadn’t thought this would be a possibility—that she hasn’t feared this from the get-go. That first morning after, Dani had been different. Not entirely, no, but it was as if something inside of her was broken and she wasn’t sure where the pieces of it had gone. Like she’d woken up sightless and alone in a world that was not her own, that she didn’t know how to survive in.

Standing at the edge of a precipice and ready to tip over.

At the beginning, Dani tried to back out so many times. Tried to keep Jamie at arm’s-length, as if reminding her of the potential stakes would do anything to keep her from falling in love. From them falling in love. But it hadn’t worked and, eventually, Dani caved in. They fell in love and built a life together, a home together, and things were good. Fine even.

Dani hardly spoke about Bly or that night at all.

Yet Jamie is far from blindsided when she wakes up in their bed five years into their relationship to find Dani gone. The day before had been perfect, really. At least until Dani came back to the shop in the evening with dinner, face pale and eyes wide like she’d just seen a ghost.

Now Jamie is wondering if maybe she had.

It’s still early and the sky isn’t all the way awake and Jamie reaches out her arm instinctively as she flutters her eyelids open, reaching for that familiar body she’s long-since memorized. Her hand meets empty air, flattens against cool sheets and then she wakes up all the way in a panic.

Dani is gone. In her place is a piece of paper, folded and set carefully in the center of her unused pillow. Jamie sits up, tucking the sheets around her bare body, and opens it. Skims the words.

Reads: Forgive me.

And: If I stay, it will only be harder for you.

And: I love you.

Jamie isn’t certain how long she sits there, clutching the letter in her hands, but she is aware of the lead in her legs, her bones heavy as stone, mind filling with cotton. No thoughts. Just a numbing cold.

Eventually, she manages to tear herself away and throw on the first clothes she can find, running out of the apartment with her keys in one hand and her shoes untied. She’s lucky, really, to find that their car is still parked outside, meaning that Dani either called a cab to where she’s going or she’s on foot, which means that Jamie might not be too late to catch her.

The air freshener Dani picked out in the store last week swings from the rearview mirror, strawberry shaped and scented and Jamie remembers standing in the checkout line with their groceries—Dani lifting the silly thing up and mimicking the cartoon face on the front. Eyes crossed. Tongue stuck out. And Jamie had distantly wondered if loving Dani too much could be the death of her.

Sometimes it certainly feels like it.

Like when they’re eating dinner together and Dani accidentally gets a bit of food or sauce on her face—the way she laughs and pushes at Jamie’s shoulders when Jamie leans across the table to lick it off.

Like when they’re tired from a long day and they can do nothing but fall onto the couch together the moment they get home—the way Dani pulls Jamie’s feet into her lap and massages them gently even though she’s just as exhausted as Jamie is.

Like the weekend they spent in New York City two years ago—how Dani stubbornly held Jamie’s hand everywhere they walked; how she teared up during the overture when they went to see The Phantom of the Opera; how she bought a pair of “I Love New York” boxers and wore them to bed, where she pinned Jamie down to the mattress and smothered her with kisses until their laughter turned into sighs and moans and something else entirely.

And now, she’s speeding her way down the street in the direction of the airport, eyes roaming the sidewalks as she goes, looking for the familiar sight of her girlfriend. Her partner. The star-brimming love of her life.

There’s a pain in her side that digs its way in even further when she reaches the airport and hurries to park. It throbs sharply as she gets out of her car and rushes inside, looking around frantically for anything familiar.

The fear of being too late—of having missed Dani before she got on her flight; of not getting there in time for whatever it is Dani’s going to do—makes it feel like something has been carved out of her chest. She wants to be angry—wants to be livid that Dani would do this to her, to them. She wants a lot of things, but she can’t name any of them save for one:

Stop this from happening.

She checks the boards above ticketing, trying to find anything relevant. Finally, she spots a flight to London that’s set to board in forty-five minutes. Trying to walk as quickly as she can without running, she starts off toward the gate listed, zipping past families and business people all on their way in or out. All fine and normal and going about their lives with no idea as to what is at stake for the woman brushing past them without apology.

There’s a high-pitched ringing in Jamie’s ears. She feels like every single atom, every molecule, every inch of her is vibrating at a higher frequency than it should be. Her jaw is trembling and she has to clench it to keep her teeth from clacking together.

She’s trying to breathe normally, trying to pray to every deity she can think of that she isn’t too late, when she sees her: Dani. Sitting in one of the chairs in the mostly-empty space beside the gate.

She looks as exhausted as Jamie feels, wearing the same clothes she was last night. Her eyes are so bloodshot that Jamie can see it from fifteen feet away. That pain in her side aches and her chest is thumping hard against her ribs.

As lost in thought as Dani appears to be, curled up in that seat and looking like she’s just spent the last three hours crying, she doesn’t look up until Jamie is standing right in front of her.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jamie asks, unable to keep the anger out of the edges of the question.

Dani startles at her voice and looks up, blinking a few times when she sees who’s standing in front of her, as if she’s worried she may be dreaming. “Jamie?” she says. “What are you—?”

“No,” Jamie cuts in. “What are you doing? Did you think you’d get away with leaving me in the middle of the night? Did you think I’d just let you go?”

There are a few people scattered around in other chairs nearby, and Jamie knows that they are probably watching this whole thing, but she can’t bring herself to calm down. She’s not sure how she’d even begin to try.

“Jamie, I—” Dani begins, and she looks like she might start crying again.

Jamie cuts her off. “No, you don’t get to do this, Dani,” she says, pointing a trembling finger. “You don’t get to just...do something like this without talking to me about it. You don’t get to decide this for the both of us.”

Slowly, Dani gets to her feet, and there’s still space between them, but neither of them tries to bridge it. Not yet.

“Jamie, I can’t just...I can’t just wait around for something to happen,” she says. “You don’t get it. Do you know how terrified I am every...every day that I’m going to just...hurt you or-or...I couldn’t stand it, Jay. I couldn’t stand losing you like that. I have to—”

“No, you don’t get it,” Jamie says. She wants to sound fierce and as angry as she knows she is, but, instead, her words come out broken and tearful. “You can’t just...leave me. Not like this. We have so much—”

“What if we don’t?” Dani asks. “Wouldn’t it be better for us to...for it to be like this than some other way?”

Jamie shakes her head, fixing Dani with a sardonic look. “Right. Because this is so much better. Me waking up to you just...gone. You not even saying goodbye just leaving me like this, tossing me away like what we have...what we are doesn’t even matter. I love you, you colossal prat. You can’t just—”

“It’s because I love you that I’m doing this, Jamie,” Dani cuts in, and, while her tone is still guarded, her voice is softer. “I couldn’t…” She sighs and turns a little, shoulders shaking from the effort to hold back her tears. She runs her fingers through her hair and closes her eyes for a moment.

She looks broken, defeated, and it slices right through Jamie’s chest. She’s surprised when she doesn’t fall to her knees. Because, if Dani is right about this—about all of it and about what is going to happen to her, to them—then…

Then it’s only a matter of time.

She looks at Dani standing there like she could fall apart at any moment, like she already has. Her shoulders slumped and Jamie realizes that she’s crying a minute too late to stop herself. Dani lifts her head and meets her eyes again, drawing her arms around her stomach, and this is her best fucking friend and the love of her life and Jamie is so in love with her.

“Couldn’t what?” Jamie asks, so much softer than anything else said so far.

She takes in the sight of Dani standing there—dark circles under her bloodshot eyes, her clothes ruffled and her lips sore from being bitten at.

“I couldn’t—” Dani starts, but she can’t finish the sentence.

It doesn’t matter. Jamie hears the rest anyway.

Hears: I couldn’t give you what you deserve.

And: I couldn’t do this to you anymore.

There’s something in Jamie’s chest about this—the end of the rope.

“I love you,” she says quietly. “Please don’t go. Not yet.”

It feels wrong doing this here, in the middle of the bustling airport, under the harsh fluorescent lights. There are strangers around them—they are so far from alone—and Jamie really wants to be in their home for this—thinks that, if they were surrounded by their things and their life, then Dani wouldn’t possibly argue.

Dani chokes back a sob. Her shoulders stutter, then stiffen. “Jamie,” she whispers. “I—” She jumps a little when Jamie reaches out and touches her arm. Before she can draw away, though, Dani darts her hand out and grabs her, holding her tight.

Something inside of Jamie is splintering and her legs are numb. She takes a deep breath and holds it for a second. On the exhale, she says, “Dani, please. I know that you’re...that you’re scared. I am, too. I’m so…” She breathes in again, shakily this time, curls her free hand into the fabric of her own shirt. “I don’t know what...I don’t know what’s going to happen, or...how. Or when. But I love you and I’m not ready to live without you. Please, please don’t make me try.”

There are probably millions of ways to say it, but this is the only way Jamie can manage in the moment. Her chest feels tighter and tighter with every aching heartbeat and time slows down just enough for Dani to blink, to part her lips, to look like she’s going to argue again, before she says, “Come here,” and cups the back of Jamie’s neck, tugging her into a firm kiss right there in the middle of the airport.

Jamie presses her body closer to Dani’s, fists her hands in blonde hair to pull her in harder. Distantly, she feels warm fingers fist the material of her shirt at the back and she kisses and kisses and kisses Dani. As long as she can.

That’s the plan, at least.

“Please stay,” Jamie whispers when they pull apart, panting, and Dani only hesitates for a second before nodding, tucking herself into Jamie’s arms like she never plans to leave and Jamie is fine with that. Perfect, even.

“Take me home,” Dani says into Jamie’s neck, arms still tight around her.

And time and past and future be damned, Jamie does just that.

#angst #damie #dani x jamie #dani/jamie #thobm #the haunting of bly manor #dani x jamie fanfic #damie fanfic #damie prompt #andawaywego fanfic

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snarkwrites · 3 years

Text

09 | gangsta; sweetpea

Notes:

SO.. I uhh... Got super into writing this recently. I just really liked where it was heading after part 7. Yes. Yes, I realize that literally no one asked for more of this but.. I wrote it. Might as well share it.

I warn in advance. There as a graphic and detailed fight in this chapter. Also. There is a LOT going on in this chapter. A LOT.

This is the second of four parts I have already written and waiting to go. I know, I know.. Literally no one asked for this. But you’re getting it anyway.

Warnings:

loosely canon compliant - this is the biggest warning, so if you’re into things that follow exact canon plot you are… definitely not going to like this. angst & slow burn, heavy sexual tensionstarting now, actually - this is just so everyone who started reading this thinking the smut would transpire in a hurry knows that apparently, it is not. violence / swearing & fighting, possible underage drinking and other shenanigans- look.. it’s high school. shit happens. also apparently, my ofc Alyssa uses the word fuck like all the time?…eventual sexual content / a virgin original character- this one is self explanatory. yes, i plan to write a smutty chapter in this at some point. when? i don’t rightly know. it’s got a while before we get there.

Pairing:

Andrews!Sibling OFC, Alyssa x Sweet Pea

Other Parts:

[ one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - soundtrack ]

Other Stuff:

[ faq - tag list doc ]

Tagging:

@brithedemonspawn is the only person on my Riverdale tag list. If you’d like to be tagged for this story by all means.. Please let me know. Please, I beg. It’d make me super duper happy!!!

NINE.

“What do you mean Hiram asked you to go cut their chains? Archie, this is not your place. They’re trying to fight back against this bullshit. Because that’s what this is, in case you’re wondering.”

“You need to make other friends. Literally anyone but them, Al.” Archie answered calmly. I glared at my brother from across the dining table. My father surprised me when he spoke up.

“You’re still friends with Jughead, right? How is that any different than your sister, being friends with Toni? Or that Fogarty kid? Or the other one, the moody one.. What’s his name?” my dad asked.

“Sweet Pea?” I questioned, taking a few more bites of my cereal. Grumbling about Hiram Lodge as I did so.

“He’s trying to help this town.” Archie muttered.

“What he’s doing is making people homeless. I bet you wouldn’t say that crap if he were trying to run anybody on this side of town out, Archie.” I snapped, pushing my chair away from the table, standing abruptly.

“Okay you two.” my father warned, glancing from me to my brother. Adding quietly, “Your sister has a point. That’s exactly why I’m going to talk to Hermione today about terminating the contract to build the housing.”

“Dad, you needed that contract.” I protested. Going quiet.

“I don’t need it bad enough to watch people gettin run out of their homes, tiny. I can find other jobs.”

“Dad..” I started, but he shook his head. Judging by the way his jaw was set, he’d made his mind up on this. I sighed, going quiet. Assuming that it was probably my fault he even made the decision that might just cost him the construction company in the first place. I think he could tell I was worried, because he caught me on my way out the door for school after Archie had stormed out, bolt cutters in hand to go and do Hiram’s bidding.

“I chose to do this on my own, okay? I just want to make sure you know that, Al.” my dad searched my face, waiting on me to give confirmation that I understood. I wasn’t entirely sure it was true, because for the past twelve hours, the fight had been ongoing between my brother and I.

“Actually, it was your mom who kind of reminded me what getting mixed up with the Lodges might bring on me. Has nothing to do with you and your brother fighting. But I wish you two would sit down and talk.”

I nodded, sighing. “I wish I knew he’d listen. But he’s changed so much since he started taking up with Hiram…” I shook my head. For the first time ever, I was actually kind of disappointed with my big brother.

If he weren’t under Hiram’s thumb right now, I have no doubt in my mind he’d either be helping Jughead with their protest, or he’d be doing everything he could to call attention to the issue.

“I know. Happens sometimes, tiny. All we can do is hope this whole thing is a phase and it doesn’t backfire on him. Be there for him when it does backfire.” my dad advised, pulling me into a hug.

As I went to step out, my dad tossed a brown bag towards me and I caught it. He smiled and shrugged. “Pretty sure when your friends get to school today, they’re gonna be starving. FP said they hadn’t eaten since 8 last night. This was some kinda hunger strike. Tell Fangs to share the bacon. I know he’s a growing guy, but shit.”

I laughed and smiled, doubling back to hug my dad. Really giving him a good squeeze.

“I love you too, kid. Now you need to get going.” my dad laughed when the hug broke, walking to the door and leaning in it, watching me til I got to the end of the street.

I spotted Cheryl waiting at our usual spot as of late and I made my way over. Opening the bag and letting her take out a biscuit. “Dad sent food for the others. That is, if Hiram doesn’t insist that my brother, idiot he is, escort them all straight to the police station.”

“Has your mother gotten back to you at all on the legality of what Ms.McCoy did before she stepped down as mayor?” Cheryl asked. I shook my head. Watching the sidewalk from the direction that Toni, Fangs and Sweet Pea normally came from intently.

“Where are they?”

“Toni texted me a few minutes ago. They’ll be here.”

“So Hiram didn’t make my brother and the other guys on the wrestling team take them to the station? Because if he thinks for a second I won’t dig into my college fund to post bail, my brother’s a bigger idiot than I ever imagined. Because I will.”

Cheryl was smiling at me. Giving a soft laugh as she bit into the biscuit she’d taken from the bag in my hands. “ Take deep breaths, lioness.”

I took a deep breath, deadpanning at Cheryl, “Happy?”

“It will suffice.” Cheryl’s grin broadened when she caught sight of Toni.

I let out a ragged breath when I saw our friends heading our way, fuming in anger. Sweet Pea seemed to be the angriest, arguing loudly with Jughead and Fangs about how they should’ve just let him go and not held him back or tried to stop some fight.

Toni, Fangs and Sweet Pea came to a stop in front of Cheryl and I. I held out the bag to Toni and she grabbed it, not wasting a single second. Grabbing a biscuit and groaning as she practically inhaled it. Then grabbing a few strips of bacon. “Oh my god, I love your dad too.”

“There’s enough in there for everyone. Fangs, he said you had to share the bacon, man.” I laughed at the way this made Fangs pout a little.

I stopped in front of Sweet Pea who was still angry, almost shaking at this point. I grimaced at the bruise forming on his jaw. Stepping a little closer. “Are you going to eat, Hulk, or nah?” I teased, shaking the bag at him.

“I’m too fuckin pissed right now, Cherry.” Sweet Pea answered, a harsh tone. His jaw setting.

“Oh.” I muttered. I realized just how close I was standing to Sweet Pea and suddenly aware of that, I stepped away a little and let Fangs take the bag because I was tired of holding it. As we started to walk to school, I found myself walking right next to Sweet Pea all over again when Kevin Keller caught up to us and chose to walk next to Fangs, putting me in between Sweet Pea and Fangs by the time we’d all sort of formed a line.

“Kevin, don’t you own a car?” I teased gently, giving him a knowing smirk. I’d kind of picked up on the fact that he might or might not have himself a little crush on Fangs.

“It’s broken right now.” Kevin answered my question, nodding towards Sweet Pea covertly as he smirked at me. I bit my lip, glancing over at Sweet Pea as I shook my head. Because I knew what Kevin was about to assume and I knew that at best, Sweet Pea only tolerates me because of Fangs and Toni.

“Dad’s supposed to take me out to let me try getting used to driving his truck this weekend.”

“I’ll be sure to let my dad know so he’s on standby.” Kevin taunted, making me stick out my tongue at him. “I’m not that bad.”

“I’d like to agree, but I have Snapchat, so I know about your driving. I saw the go-kart thing. I had no idea you could make a go kart drift, if we’re being honest. You drive like a lunatic, woman.” Kevin taunted. I pouted at him, folding my arms. “I do not! I just wanted to win.” I pretended to be annoyed, holding my hand up at him.

Sweet Pea’s hand brushed against my other hand and I glanced down. Curling my pinkie around his. Giving it a squeeze. I didn’t dare to look up at him as I did this, of course. When he didn’t pull away, I didn’t either.

He was upset. I considered him a friend. I tried to tell myself that my hopes in doing what I was doing were to calm him down. Nothing more.

But deep down, I was starting to realize that this might not exactly be the case. That maybe I felt things…

Things I knew he’d never feel in return.

Things I knew I needed to get over.

XXX

He bit his lip when he felt her finger curl around his. A glance over at her revealed that she wasn’t even looking at him, instead, she was buried in something Kevin was showing her on his phone. He’d almost swear that she didn’t even realize she’d grabbed hold of his finger again, but then, she gave it a little squeeze a few seconds after she glanced up from Kevin’s phone.

She still hadn’t looked at him. Or let go of his finger.

Every part of him knew he should let go but he didn’t want to. And he kept telling himself that more than likely, it wasn’t anything more than just her, trying to be a friend because he was madder than hell and it was obvious.

Oh but he wanted it to be so much more than that.

Their sides brushed again and his breath caught in his throat a little.

Fangs had a good point the night before when they’d been talking. It was getting harder and harder to hide the way he felt.

The fight he’d gotten into with Alyssa’s brother came back to him and he used Archie’s words as a reminder as to why he needed to forget the way he felt.

Because Archie did have a fair point when he pointed out that Sweet Pea wasn’t good enough for her and sooner or later, Alyssa spending so much time around them was going to get her in serious trouble or worse yet, hurt somehow.

But then what Fangs and Jughead both insisted the night before came back to him too and their advice made him want to fight. To act on the way he felt. To prove her brother wrong. To be with her. Be the guy who made her laugh. The guy she cuddled up with on a rainy Saturday to watch her horror movies. The one she came to when she was hurt or scared or just needed him.

They were making their way across the parking lot and she still hadn’t let go of his finger. To be fair, he hadn’t let go of hers yet, either. The connection was keeping him calm. Giving him other things to think about beyond the way he wanted to lose his entire mind over the fact that he was losing everything and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He felt powerless. He hated the feeling.

But the way she linked her finger through his and left it there gave him something else to focus on for a change.

And now, thanks to it, all he could think about was just how hard it was getting to keep his feelings himself.

“Alyssa?”

“Yeah, Kev?”

“Are you going out for the play? Come on, you have to.” Kevin pleaded.

Alyssa mulled it over, shrugging. About to shake her head before Kevin frowned. “You have to.”

“I’m not good at the whole getting up in front of people crap. We’re lucky I can manage cheering at the games without freaking out, Kev. Or have you forgotten the fairy debacle from Kindergarten?”

“It wasn’t that bad!” Kevin was giving her the pleading face.

“Kevin. I left the stage and ran to my dad. In front of the entire school.” she shook her head, laughing. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. Besides, me singing? The sound of cats dying. I am not going to put people through that.”

“Oh come on.”

“Nope. Not happening, man.” she shook her head, smiling.

“Toni and I are thinking about it.” Cheryl spoke up.

Toni raised a brow, laughing as she nodded. “Thinking is the key word here, babe.”

Sweet Pea took a deep breath. Willing himself to either let go of her finger first or push things a little further. Maybe grab hold of her hand. Or brush his hand against her hand. He grumbled in frustration when he couldn’t make himself do either thing.

After a second or two, he managed to find a way to graze his hand against her hand and make it seem as if it were an accident. To his surprise, before he could pull his hand away, she’d linked her fingers between his.

She glanced up at him for a second or two, licking her lips. Giving his hand a little squeeze. They were almost to the doors of Riverdale High by this point. He figured she’d let go of his hand, but she hadn’t yet.

Everyone else split off, going to their own classrooms. He let go of her hand to push open the door, letting her step into the room as he held it open, letting it close behind him. As they took their assigned seats, she sank down in her chair, digging around in the pocket of her jeans.

Holding out a pack of chewing gum to him. Sweet Pea took a stick of the gum, unwrapping it. Popping it into his mouth.

After opening the text books, their teacher spoke up, addressing the class.

“We’ll be doing a bit of a different assignment. We’ve been studying genetics and I feel that it would be interesting to give this a try. You’ll be given dice.”

Sweet Pea chuckled when one of the other Serpents in class with them muttered an audible, “Finally, somethin I fuckin know about.”

Mr. Keaton glared at the other Serpent, silencing him. And then Mr. Keaton continued. “You will then roll these dice to determine what physical traits that offspring between yourself and your lab partner would inherit. You will chart the results and write a detailed summary. If you choose, for extra credit, you may draw this offspring.”

Sweet Pea coughed, shifting around in his seat awkwardly. Because all this entire project brought to mind for him was a mental replay of a particularly dirty dream he’d had about Alyssa not too long ago. The silent acknowledgement that he felt this magnetic pull to her and the harder he fought it lately, the more it refused to stay buried. The way it felt when her finger curled around his or the way it felt when he’d taken hold of her hand on their walk to school.

Every single touch, accidental or otherwise as of late.

Alyssa fidgeted a little herself, he noticed. He found himself wondering if she was fidgeting because she was suddenly regretting being paired with him for the term, or if she was fidgeting for the same reason he’d been fidgeting.

,, There’s absolutely no way she’s into me.” his mind taunted.

Mr. Keaton passed out dice and once they’d gotten their dice and the list of physical traits that Mr. Keaton compiled they’d be rolling for, Sweet Pea cleared his throat.

“Wishing you’d made a fuss about now, hm? Gotten switched to work with no brains over there?” he said it only half jokingly.

“Why? Are you?” Alyssa asked, gazing over at him, a brow raised. Laughing softly. “It’s just an assignment, Sweet Pea. And you’re not like.. You’re not a leper or something. I mean, I could do a lot worse.”

“If you’re fine with it, what the hell.” Sweet Pea shrugged, chuckling to himself quietly. Trying to fight back the sliver of hope that chose that exact moment to rise to the surface. The fact that she wasn’t switching, while surprising, didn’t necessarily mean anything. He had to keep reminding himself of that.

From the back of the classroom, Reggie spoke up. “Mr. Keaton, I’ve been thinkin… Maybe I should switch partners with Sweet Pea.”

Sweet Pea tensed.

When he knew Alyssa wasn’t looking, he shot Reggie an angry glare.

Reggie smirked at him, daring him to say something.

Mr. Keaton looked from pair to pair, rubbing his chin. “Amanda? Alyssa? Would either of you want to switch?”

Mandy was just about to speak up. He felt Alyssa tense up beside him and heard her mumble to herself, “Not today, Satan..” as she turned in her seat, giving Mandy an angry glare.

Mandy glared right back at Alyssa before giving their teacher the sweetest smile she could muster. “I’d love that, Mr. Keaton. Reggie’s an idiot. I’m sure even that Serpent is so much smarter.”

“The Serpent has a name, bimbo. You wouldn’t like it if I only called you bimbo, right?” Alyssa whirled around in her seat to snap at Mandy before she could stop herself. “Anyway, Reggie’s no stupider than you. Kind of a perfect fit if I do say so myself.”

Sweet Pea rolled his eyes at Mandy, but he cleared his throat, tapping Alyssa’s shoulder so she’d turn around before she got into trouble. He found himself super focused on the way she got heated just now because Mandy hadn’t bothered saying his name.

“If he makes me switch, I swear to god, I’m unleashing my wrath.” Alyssa grumbled to herself. Making Sweet Pea take a shaky breath or two.

Why did this matter so much?

Sweet Pea found himself a little surprised. He honestly thought she’d be jumping at the chance. He assumed she’d be happy to get away from him.

“Alyssa? Your thoughts on the matter?” Mr. Keaton questioned.

“ Nope. I refuse to have that absolute pig be the father of my non-existent children, sir. I’m fine where I am.” Alyssa answered, turning to shrug at Reggie as she said it.

Reggie pouted a little.

Sweet Pea smirked, shrugging at Reggie when their eyes met. Reggie glared at him, finally turning around when Mandy cleared her throat.

“You could’ve switched, Cherry.”

“ I realize this. But I didn’t want to.” Alyssa answered, finally meeting his gaze. Biting her lip. “Unless you wanted me to switch?”

“No, no. Fuck no.” Sweet Pea’s answer tumbled out in a rush. Alyssa laughed softly, managing a little smile. “In that case, we should probably get started. This is a pretty long list. Oh, while I’m thinking about it.. We’re trying to avoid my shitty eyesight, red hair and skin that burns at even a hint of sunlight.” she muttered, glancing over at him.

Sweet Pea caught himself doing it again, getting caught up in her eyes. Staring like an idiot. He nodded. “Okay, since we’re going there, Cherry. We’re trying to roll with the hopes that this kid doesn’t knock their fucking heads off every time they walk through a door.”

“I mean, it’s better than climbing shelves and counters to reach things your idiot brother puts out of your reach deliberately, but hey.. Go off I guess.” she teased gently, smiling at him. Holding out the dice.

“You roll first. I am.. Not good at dice.” Alyssa pleaded. Sweet Pea chuckled and shook his head. “Oh no. No, you first.” he smirked at her, he couldn’t resist it.

Alyssa pouted but took the dice and rolled.

“Okay, so.. Doubles..” Alyssa announced when both the dice settled on the side with one dot.

“Twins.” Sweet Pea consulted the list. “We were rolling for a number of offspring just then, right?” he asked.

“They better have given me good drugs.” Alyssa joked, filling in the chart. “I’ll roll for one, you can roll for the other?” she asked. Sweet Pea nodded. Silently hoping to god she hadn’t noticed him staring yet again. He answered in a daze, “Yeah.” as he took the dice to roll again. This time they were rolling for hair color.

“You better roll again, sir. Remember? We’re trying to avoid red hair.” Alyssa nodded to the dice settled on the top of the desk between them.

“Actually, no. I’m not. You are, but I’m not.” Sweet Pea smirked, the smirk growing when he saw her pout a little about it. “Deal with it, Cherry.”

“Well, we’re off to a great start. Can’t even agree on hair color.” Alyssa teased, noting that they’d gotten the red hair trait from her.

She took the dice back. “Come on dark brown and functional brown eyes..” she muttered, smiling when she rolled for Sweet Pea’s eye color, but scowling a little when she managed to roll that yes, they’d have vision trouble. “Poor kids.” she shook her head, laughing. Holding out the dice to him.

Sweet Pea had been in a daze yet again. Luckily, he managed to pull himself out of said daze when she placed the dice in his hand. He rolled. Grumbling when he got himself for the height gene.

The bell rang a few seconds later. Alyssa gathered her books and started for the door. Sweet Pea caught up to her. “Wasn’t so bad.” he mused. Carefully.

Alyssa smiled, shaking her head. “No, it wasn’t.” hiding a laugh as Reggie and Mandy made their way past in a very heated and angry argument. She nudged Sweet Pea, nodding towards them. “Some people should never be allowed to procreate.”

“They really shouldn’t.” Sweet Pea answered, swallowing down a lump as it formed in his throat. Letting his gaze linger for a few seconds. “Hey, if you want.. We can finish this tonight at the Wyrm.”

“You’d be okay with me showing up at the Wyrm.” Alyssa eyed him carefully.

He shrugged. “It’s not any different than all the times you came with Toni.”

“I’ll be there, then. Oh and Pea?” Alyssa turned back to look at him. He chuckled. “What?”

“Your name is coming off the top of the Mortal Kombat leaderboard. Tonight. Better bring your A game, sir.”

He bit back a groan at what she said. There was just something about the look in her eyes just now.. Teasing and playful… that combined with her calling him Sir definitely gave him a reason to need the walk to his next class.

Because he needed to pull himself together. He needed to get his head around everything and more importantly, he needed to really stop and think if he wanted to keep fighting whatever was starting to happen between them.

Because he’d been fighting it since he’d seen her around town for the first time. And he just couldn’t anymore.

Fangs caught up to him. “Didn’t you hear me yellin at you, man?”

“I was thinkin.”

“About?”

“Maybe you were right. About what we were talking about last night?”

Fangs smirked. “You’re gonna go for it?”

“I want to. Doesn’t mean I will. But I can’t keep saying I don’t.. Ya know.. When I do. Because it’s driving me fucking insane, man.”

“Want her?” Fangs filled in the blank, snickering when Sweet Pea gave him a dirty look but nodded. As they made their way into class and took their usual seats in the back, Fangs leaned across the aisle. “For what it’s worth… I think she’s into you, man.”

“Yeah. I doubt that.” Sweet Pea looked at his best friend as if Fangs were losing his mind. He wished that were true. He wanted it to be true. But he doubted that it was.

“You’re blind.” Fangs chuckled, turning his attention to the note Kevin had slipped into his locker. Chuckling and rubbing his chin in thought as he debated on what his response was going to be.

XXX

Practice had just ended. I made my way over to my locker in the girls locker room and I opened the door, thinking I’d grab the clothes I bought to change into after practice. Clothes that were nowhere to be found.

I grumbled to myself, annoyed. A quick glance around the locker room put me onto the fact that Mandy and her little army of skanks were circled up, looking at me. Whispering and laughing. Mandy was bold enough to call out, “Missing something, are we?” as she held up my clothes, laughing… Slinking over to the door that lead into the hallway.

Tossing my clothes right out in the middle.

I turned and glared at her. “You bitch.”

“Aw, are you upset right now? What are you gonna do, Alyssa? Go cry to big brother? Go sic your Serpent trash loverboy on me? I’m so so so scared.” she nudged her friend Kaylie. “I bet she doesn’t do anything. I bet she just sits there and fumes like usual. I’m surprised she had the nerve to call me a bimbo earlier in class if we’re being honest.” Mandy smirked as she said it, glancing at me. Nodding towards the door.

“If you want your clothes, sweetie, they’re right there! All you have to do is go get them…. Unless you’re afraid? Don’t flatter yourself, Alyssa. Nobody wants to see you in your underwear. Absolutely no one.”

I clenched my fists and took a deep breath or two. Mandy and her friends were all staring at me, waiting. Gazing from the hallway, where my clothes were piled up, back to me. Smirking and laughing because they were starting to think Mandy was right. That I wasn’t going to do anything. That I’d just turn and ignore Mandy’s attempts to goad me into a confrontation and shove down all my anger like I usually did.

,, she wants you to turn the other cheek like you’ve been doing until lately. If you do that, you’re basically telling her she can get away with this crap.” the thought came and rather than shove it out in favor of being the bigger person, I leaned into it.

Because today was not the day and I was not the one.

I stood and walked out into the hallway. Right as the bell to dismiss final class for the day rang and the hallway was starting to flood with students. One of them being Sweet Pea. We locked eyes as I walked past, calmly going to the Riverdale crest on the floor that she’d tossed my jeans in the center of. Bending to pick up my jeans. Sweet Pea’s arm shot out.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, out here like that, Cherry? Have you lost your mind entirely?”

“Nope. I’m getting my fucking clothes. Since Mandy the thundercunt scattered them all over the hallway.”

Sweet Pea growled quietly, his fists clenching and unclenching. He took off his Riverdale polo, holding it out to me, but I shook my head, biting my lip and smirking as I did so. “Oh no. No.. see, if I don’t do something major now, she’s never going to fuck off. So thanks but no. Now put your shirt back on before you get in trouble.”

Sweet Pea eyed me. Shaking his head. I tapped my foot impatiently, holding his gaze. “Sweet Pea… Put the goddamn shirt back on. I know what I’m doing, okay? This is to prove a point.”

“What good is that gonna do when you’re caught by a teacher and you wind up in detention, huh? Take the fucking shirt, Cherry. Take it now.” Sweet Pea used his firmest tone, but I was too angry. It didn’t do anything to me.

“Put the shirt back on, Sweet Pea. Now.” I muttered firmly. A hand on my hip. “Do it. I’m willing to stand here until a teacher spots me if that’s what it’ll take to keep you from doing something that we know might get you expelled.”

“Goddamn it.” Sweet Pea gave up arguing, finally realizing I wasn’t going to budge one way or the other. Not until I’d done what I came out to do. And the less he argued with me, the quicker I could get it done and get back in the locker room.

I spotted my favorite Motley Crue crop tee near the girls bathroom. And totally zoned out, so angry that I was actually shaking a little, I paid not one single bit of attention to the fact that a few people were staring.

I was too pissed to be embarrassed and that is probably a good thing. Because if I wasn’t so pissed, I’d have wanted the floor to open and swallow me whole.

I spotted the red and black plaid shirt I’d been wearing over my tee shirt hanging over the rim of a garbage can and I calmly walked over, plucking it out. With my clothing gathered, I went to step back in the locker room, ignoring the one or two whistles and the Ghoulie who felt the need to comment something so gross that I debated heavily on walking over and twisting his dick in my hand until it twisted off.

I flung the door of the locker room open wide and when I did, it connected with Mandy’s face because she’d been standing there. Probably recording the whole thing to post on her socials later.

Because that’s totally something girls like her do for funsies.

She stumbled back, holding her nose as blood began to slowly pool between her fingers. And before she had a chance to react, I was slamming her against the lockers immediately to the right of the door. My forearm against her throat to hold her there.

“You’re going to erase whatever video you just recorded. Don’t fucking test me, you diseased thundercunt. Erase the video. I know you recorded the whole thing.”

“You little bitch, you broke my nose!” Mandy slammed her head into mine, causing me to drop my forearm from her throat and grab for my own nose. Once she was free, she threw a punch. I ducked it and came up swinging. Connecting with her jaw. And before she could even recover from the punch, I was grabbing her by the hair and shoving her head at the locker door.

She charged at me, knocking me on the ground. I grabbed hold of her face, trying to go for her eyes and once she was trying to block that, I flipped it and reversed it so that I was straddling her hips now. The first thing I did was grab hold of her phone and throw it on the floor a few feet away as hard as I could. When she tried to reach up and choke me, I choked her back and she rolled us so that she was on top this time. Fists were flying again. The benches that ran the middle of the locker room were being moved out of place. Lockers were being hit as we made full use of the floor in the girls locker room.

Her friends tried to rush over to help but Veronica and Cheryl stopped them from getting close as Cheryl called out to me, “Get her! It’s about time!” and she told Veronica firmly, “Lock the doors. Nobody gets in or out. Amanda has had this coming for a while now.”

Veronica nodded, locking the door to the locker room. Betty held off Mandy’s friends with Veronica and Cheryl’s help. Determined to let the fight keep going. At least until one of us or the other calmed down.

I stood up, pulling Mandy off the floor. Pulling her towards the showers.

Turning on the water full blast and as cold as I could get it. Shoving her into it and as soon as I had her cornered, I leaned down to her level. Grabbing hold of her white and yellow Riverdale Vixens ringer that now had blood spattered on the front of it.

“You better hope that video got erased, Mandy, or this is just a preview of what your life’s gonna be like, honey.” I said it quietly and calmly. “And if you think for even a second about messing with me again… Remember this.”

“You’re actually insane.. You crazy little bitch. Just wait. I’ll get back at you. This isn’t over, Alyssa.”

“Oh, I’m counting on that, you diseased mega skank.” I shrugged as I walked away from her, facing her. My middle finger up in the air. “You might want to clean yourself up, Amanda. We can’t have anybody thinking we were up to no good in here, now can we?” I challenged.

A teacher was pounding on the door and it started to click into place what I’d just done. I sank down on the nearest bench, panting to catch my breath. Trying to calm down. Letting the anger and everything subside.

Cheryl made her way over, Veronica and Betty in tow. Stopping to unlock the door as they went. Whatever Cheryl told the teacher had the teacher satisfied that nobody was up to anything bad in the locker room and leaving and once they had, Cheryl shut the door quickly. Leaning against it with her hand over her heart. “Whew. That was so close.”

Veronica sank down on the bench in front of me, the first aid kit we kept in the locker room open and across her lap.

“This is going to hurt, Al. I’m sorry in advance.” Veronica winced as she started to apply hydrogen peroxide to the few scratches on the side of my face and cheek.

All I could do was nod. Because I was still coming down from the adrenaline.

“If she messes with you again after this, she’s clearly an idiot.” Veronica spoke up after a few seconds. I shrugged. “Oh, she’s not done with me yet. But it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry we couldn’t stop it before all hell broke loose.” Cheryl spoke up, wincing as I looked up at her and laughed it off, shaking my head. Trying to flinch away from Veronica as she came at my face with a cold and damp washcloth to clean the blood away from underneath my nose.

“Cheryl, trust me. I’m fine. I can handle myself. You guys were trying to count the votes, it’s not a big deal. Besides. I needed to stand up for myself.”

“I know, but if I’d been in here, I could’ve stopped her.” Cheryl butted in, gently but firmly.

“I should’ve stood up to her way before now, if I’m being honest. Take the high road, they said. It’s better in the long run, they said. That’s a load.” I grumbled.

“Ouch fuck ouch hey.. Can you wipe less painfully?” I pleaded with Veronica.

She grimaced and muttered an apology.

“I can’t wait to hear about this crap later. Or try explaining it to my dad and Archie. Archie’s going to take the chance to spin this so that somehow, it’s anybody’s fault but mine.” I grumbled, shaking my head, disgusted at the thought.

“He’s just being a protective brother.”

“I wish sometimes he’d not do that.. So much. Did you know that he just stood back and let Reggie and Sweet Pea fight earlier when the team went to cut everyone loose?”

“I’m still angry with my father about that.” Veronica muttered, adding a second later, “But, that’s typical of him, though. He’s not happy until he owns everything and everyone.” Veronica fumed, shaking her head with a disgusted look on her face.

I bit my lip, nodding. Keeping my own opinions on the subject to myself. Because it’s not like she can control what her parents choose to do. And she tries to be better, she tries to make it so that there’s a very clear and obvious difference between herself and her parents, but with parents like hers, you wind up having to get your hands dirty sooner or later.

I’d just finished getting dressed and stepped into the hallway, finding Sweet Pea leaning against the wall.

“What the fuck was going on in there?”

I shrugged.

Mandy walked past with her friends and Sweet Pea looked from Mandy back at me. Grimacing as he caught sight of my face. Stepping closer.

“Did she do that?” he eyed me in concern. Tensing up a little. The soft edge to his voice had my heart fluttering a little, but as fast as that started, I was quick to shove it down. Reminding myself that Sweet Pea only tolerated me because we happened to share two friends in common. His hand raised, gingerly touching at a bruise forming along my jaw. Hissing as he shook his head. I tensed a little because now that the adrenaline was completely gone and the shock I’d been in or whatever for the duration of my fight was wearing off too and now everything just plain hurt.

“Mhm.” I answered quietly, swallowing down a lump as it formed in my throat. Gazing up at him. I blinked when my body brushed up against his, not aware that I’d stepped closer to him.

“Did you do.. All that?” he nodded to where she stood at her locker in the hallway, glaring daggers in my direction, her friends flocking her.

“I hope you’re prepared to pay for Amanda’s broken nose, you crazy witch.” Kaylie called out calmly. “Her mother is going to make sure you pay for the fight.”

Mandy smirked at me. “I can’t wait to tell my mother everything. I’m almost as excited to talk to her about the way you’ve been bullying me as I am to post the video of you wandering the hallway of our high school in underwear.”

I tensed, taking a step away from Sweet Pea and forward in the hallway. Sweet Pea reached out quickly, grabbing me up and away by my hips. Putting me behind him as he eyed Mandy calmly. “You really don’t value your life at all, do ya?”

Mandy eyed him, gulping.

“It’s a simple question, Mandy.” Sweet Pea shrugged, smirking a little.

“What are you gonna do, Serpent? I can make one call and have you arrested.”

I growled from behind Sweet Pea. “Try it you fucking gremlin. Try it.” I threatened.

“Enough.” Sweet Pea’s tone was calm and firm as he looked from Mandy to me, folding his arms over his chest. I went quiet and Mandy’s lip quivered a little as she gazed up at him.

“What you’re gonna do, Mandy… Erase whatever you recorded. If you don’t, you’re really not going to like what happens.” Sweet Pea stepped closer to her, giving a menacing scowl as he towered over her.

Just the way he said it had a slow and lazy heat settling in the pit of my stomach. Had my breath catching in my throat because of just the tone he took… You’d think he was my actual boyfriend. He was acting more like one than any of my past boyfriends, Reggie included.

If I were more hopeful, I’d almost want to say he meant every word of the threat he made to Mandy.

Mandy hurried off and Sweet Pea turned, settling his gaze on me. Eyeing my nose critically and grimacing. “It’s not broken. What the hell happened?”

“She was practically leaning against the damn door so when I threw it open, it hit her in the nose. She went to swing at me, I threw her against a locker… Then it kind of spiralled out of control from there?” I shuffled my feet, going fidgety under his intent and concerned gaze.

“Who locked the door?” Sweet Pea asked, admitting a few seconds later, “I tried the handle when I saw Mrs. Ellis heading for the locker room. I heard all the yelling and every time somebody hit a locker or the wall, so I figured something was going on in there… I was gonna warn you...”

“Oh, that was Cheryl. She wasn’t going to risk anybody going to get a teacher to come in and break it up.” I gave a soft laugh, shaking my head. I nodded towards the doors at the end of the empty hallway.

“We should probably get going. The last place I want to be locked in overnight is here.”

“Yeah, I was waiting on Fangs, but apparently, he ditched me.” Sweet Pea shrugged. I raised a brow, because that wasn’t like Fangs. Usually if he said he’d be somewhere, he was there.

“I haven’t seen him since lunch, come to think of it.” I spoke up after a few seconds.

“He probably bailed. He’s probably already at the Wyrm.” Sweet Pea shrugged. I nodded, agreeing.

“So.. ready?” I asked. Trying my best not to get my hopes up. Preparing myself for Sweet Pea to suggest going to my dad’s or to Pops instead of going to the Wyrm. Shocked more than a little bit when Sweet Pea smirked and nodded.

“Yeah. Just so you know, Cherry… If you think for one second you’re wiping me off the leaderboard, not gonna happen.” he chuckled as we walked down the hall and he paused to push the door open for me.

About halfway to the Wyrm, my hand brushed against his. I glanced down, biting my lip. Debating heavily on just grabbing hold of his hand.

Because friends held hands, right?

I mean.. I held hands with Cheryl and Toni all the time.

Except deep down, I knew that was not even remotely the real motive behind holding Sweet Pea’s hand. The simplest truth was that I just… Couldn’t stop myself from doing something. Anything.

I took a deep breath and carefully, I slipped my hand into his. Gazing down for a second or two after I’d done it. Shocked I’d actually had the damn nerve to go through with it. Even more shocked when Sweet Pea didn’t immediately scowl, tense up or let go.

Instead, his fingers laced with mine.

And like this morning, neither of us really mentioned it. But that tension that seemed to hang around us like a heavy cloud recently?

It got so very much thicker.

He pushed open the door to the Wyrm and I stepped under his arm, into the building. He stepped in behind me, nodding to a table with two chairs towards the back. Where it was a little quieter.

“We should be able to get everything finished back there, Cherry.”

I nodded. My eyes darted around. Finding it odd that the same people staring at me currently never even gave me a second look when I wandered in with Toni and Fangs.

I shoved the thought out of my head.

We were just two classmates.. Two friends.. Meeting to finish an assignment for school.

We made our way to the back of the bar, taking a seat at the table. At one point, while we were deep in rolling and making notes for the chart we’d been given and for our report we’d have to write later, FP wandered past.

“That’s good kid. Nice to see you actually takin school seriously. Don’t give Alyssa a hard time, buddy.” he flashed Sweet Pea a smirk and Sweet Pea nodded. Smirking right back at FP.

“People are looking at us like you’re doing something wrong.” I leaned in and whispered when I just couldn’t take the way people were watching like a hawk anymore and it had me curious.

Sweet Pea glanced up and around, shrugging. “ Most of the older guys think it’s impossible to be friends with a girl and won’t bring one around unless they’re involved with her. Is it bothering you?” he gazed at me, that concerned look in his eyes again.

I shook my head profusely. Taking a sip of the wild cherry pepsi that FP had brought over to us to drink earlier and wanting to kick myself for even mentioning it, because I had a feeling I’d probably just made things awkward.

And that was the very thing I was trying to avoid.

We finally finished rolling for genetic traits and I finished up the sketch I’d been doing.

“Okay. If you laugh I swear to God.” I gazed at Sweet Pea nervously as I shoved the sketch pad across the table to him.

“Did you just do this?” he asked, staring at the sketch.

“Yeah. I’m not the best.”

I reached for the sketch pad. But not before it flipped a few pages and settled on a drawing I’d done of Sweet Pea when he hadn’t been paying attention one day while we were all hanging out in here, playing the Mortal Kombat arcade game.

Lucky for me, he saw that I’d done sketches of Toni and Cheryl sharing a Twizzler at lunch one day and Fangs working on his motorcycle in the parking lot before school one morning. When he got to the sketch I’d done of Reggie, he scowled a little.

“I wanted to burn that too but Cheryl convinced me if I ever decided to actually get off my ass and apply to art school after I’m done with Riverdale High, it’d be good for my portfolio. She literally tried to throw herself on the fire to stop me from burning all the sketches I did of Reggie.” I laughed quietly, wincing as I shook my head.

Every time I caught myself thinking about the fact that I’d been taken in by a charming smirk and flirtatious mannerisms and the charisma of one Reggie Mantle, it only reminded me how gullible I was. How soft-hearted.

You’d think that getting involved with a guy who all but stalked me and tried to spread nasty rumors and suggestive pictures of me that I never should’ve sent in the first place when I finally got smart enough to break it off with him before leaving Chicago would be enough to teach me.

Apparently, it wasn’t. Because I came here and what’d I do? I got involved with Reggie Mantle. And now, that was over and I was starting to feel things for Sweet Pea, a guy who probably only tolerated me because we shared friends in common.

That was another huge reason I was not keen on opening myself up too quickly all over again. I might not always make the best choices, but even I had the common sense to know that I needed time… I needed to bounce back. Figure things out on my own.

And all of that was another huge reason I was determined to keep whatever I was starting to feel for Sweet Pea close to the vest. The more I could keep whatever I felt at bay, the better off I’d be. Because realistically, I just didn’t dare hope.

I was starting to realize I just couldn’t trust my own judgement when it came to emotional things. Until I got to a place where I could, I was doing the best thing I could for me.

Something tells me this is going to be so much harder than I could ever imagine though.

The door to the bar flew open and Toni barged in. Over to the table Sweet Pea and I were sitting at.

“Have you talked to Cheryl at all this afternoon?” Toni asked in a rush.

“I tried to call her earlier but it kept going to voicemail. And we were just saying earlier that Fangs is MIA too…” I rubbed my temples. I had the sneaking suspicion that I knew exactly what might have happened to Cheryl, because not so long ago, her mother had kind of caught wind of her relationship with Toni. And her mother was not thrilled.

I grumbled, digging in my jeans pocket for my phone.

It clicked for Toni that Sweet Pea and I had come to the Wyrm. Alone. Without her or Fangs present to act as a buffer.

“You’re here together, fuck. I’m sorry. I’m just.. I’m freaking out right now.” Toni glanced from me to Sweet Pea and then back again. “Are you two finally going to stop being snipey assholes and get along though?”

Sweet Pea shrugged, giving me a teasing smirk. “Maybe she’s not so bad… For a princess.”

“Maybe you’re not so bad either. For a giant grumpy asshole.” I teased right back. Feeling my cheeks burn hot just a little at the look in his eyes and the way he put emphasis on the word princess.

Because no, that did not help my current ongoing mental dilemma at all.

“You’re staying with me until we figure out this situation with Cheryl, right?” I asked Toni. Toni nodded, stealing a sip of my Pepsi. “I swear to God, if her mother’s hurt her…”

“If her mother’s done anything to her, she’s going to answer to both of us. I’ve got your back, Topaz.” I spoke up, giving Toni a reassuring look. I tried to call Cheryl again on my phone, but it went straight to voicemail too. I frowned at it, putting my phone away.

Toni eyed me and then glanced in Sweet Pea’s direction as if she were indicating that she wanted details later tonight when we were back at my dad’s place. Mouthing to me, “Well?”

I shook my head, shrugging. “We were just finishing that thing for Biology.” I mouthed. Glancing at my cell phone. I was not getting a good feeling at all. And the more Cheryl’s phone rang and went to voicemail, the more that bad feeling grew.

“It’s going to voice. He’s normally here already if he ditches.” Sweet Pea swore to himself and shook his head.

“Wait.. he got called to the office right after lunch.” Toni spoke up. Swearing when she tried to call Cheryl yet again and the call went to Cheryl’s voicemail as it had just done for me. She shoved her phone into her pocket and took a few deep breaths. “Maybe she just went to sit with her Nana. They haven’t let her out of the hospital yet, I don’t think.. That has to be it.”

The door flew open again and this time, my brother and Jughead were rushing in. Stopping to talk to a few of the other Serpents we went to school with who were present. Whatever Jughead told them had them rushing out the door in a hurry. I eyed them but quickly turned my attention back to the situation at hand involving our two missing friends. Trying to retrack the events of the day. I remembered it then, Fangs had been called to the office during lunch and after that, I hadn’t seen him again.

We had the second to last class of the day together. He hadn’t been there.

“You guys have to get out of here. Get everyone out of here and out of this side of town now. They’re about to raid the Wyrm.” Jughead and my brother rushed over to us. My brother let out a ragged breath when he caught sight of me. “Thank god. There you are. I was worried when I couldn’t find you. What the hell happened to your face, pixie?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll explain later.. You guys. Explain. What the fuck do you mean we have to get out of here? Archie, what’s going on? What have you let that jackass talk you into this time?”

“Nothing! It’s something I overheard, okay, look. I know you’re still pissed at me. But you guys need to get everyone together and get the hell off of this side of town, okay? Just trust me. Do it. I told Dad what was going on and he said that we could put people up until FP figured something out.”

Sweet Pea eyed my brother with a wary look. I eyed him too, wondering briefly if this were some kind of a trick that Hiram put him up to. Wondering how the hell he managed to get Jughead in on it if it were.

“What the hell is going on tonight?” I wondered aloud after a few seconds.Not even ten seconds later, one of the older bikers wandered in, getting a hold of FP, taking him to the back to talk.

“Are you makin this up, Andrews? Is this a trap? Because to me, that’s what it feels like.” Sweet Pea tensed. His fists clenched at his side and my brother shook his head. “No. This is me. Trying to make up for all of the other stuff, okay? Look. Hiram set the whole thing up this afternoon after he got done arranging to have Fangs arrested earlier.”

“He’s not lying. I just went down the the station, man. Fangs is there. They’re holding him for questioning and they won’t say a fucking word about why he’s even there. And while I was there, I heard some of the guys in the break room joking about how fun it was going to be, cracking some Serpent skulls tonight. If we leave now, they have nothing. They don’t get any evidence, they can’t make any arrests.” Jughead explained impatiently. “We have to go. We needed to be gone ten minutes ago, if you want the honest fucking truth, Pea.”

“Dad really said he’d let them hide in our house. You’re not lying.” I questioned my brother, gazing up at him. Standing taller. “Because I swear to God, Archie, if this is a trap.. If any more of my friends get arrested because you have a burning desire to be Hiram Lodge’s long lost son or whatever the fuck it is you want to accomplish.”

My brother cut me off. “I’ve been working undercover. I wasn’t supposed to tell you anything. I wasn’t supposed to say anything to anyone, actually. Getting close to Hiram is… for the greater good.”

“Uh huh.You mean like the actual greater good or the oh look, pops bought me a ferrari for christmas because I’m a good little fucking stooge greater good?” I questioned, a brow raised and my hand on my hip.

“Al, we can finish this argument once your friends have their shit and they’re heading back to our side of town. I’ll gladly finish this discussion then. Dad sent me and Jugs to get everyone away from here.”

“I don’t know..”

Sweet Pea cleared his throat. “I’m not saying I trust you, Andrews. But I’m willing to take what Jugs says with a grain of salt. He is one of us now.”

Toni and I exchanged a surprised look, but then everyone started to rush around and gather their things as quick as they could. And as soon as we were all out in the alley behind the Wyrm, the first of at least six police cars came flying by, blue lights flashing and sirens blazing.

I let out a ragged breath and glanced up at Sweet Pea. When I caught on to the fact that he was both angry and silently freaking out, I reached down, gently grabbing hold of his pinkie finger with mine. Giving him a weak smile when I glanced up at him.

He didn’t smile back, but as we rounded the corner and promptly had to find another alley to go down to hide because another cop car rushed past, I felt him squeeze my pinkie finger with his more than a time or two.

Almost the second we crossed over into the North Side, I realized just how eerie and quiet it was.

Too quiet.

Nobody was saying anything. We were all too tired from running. Hiding.

At one point, Toni reached down and grabbed the hand of mine closest to her, giving it a squeeze as she muttered into my ear quietly, “I hope Cheryl is okay.”

“We’ll get up to my room and figure something out, okay?” I promised in a whisper.

And on the other side of me, I felt Sweet Pea’s hand lazily close on mine. A squeeze so light that I honestly didn’t think he even realized he’d done it.

It took a few seconds, but I dared to glance down. Eyes fixing on the way his hand engulfed mine. His fingers laced between my fingers. Before I could stop myself, I dragged my thumb knuckle lazily over his palm. Gave his hand a similar light squeeze as I glanced up at Toni to pretend I wasn’t aware I’d done it.

Once we were all in my dad’s house, FP showed up. Explaining that he was currently trying to figure out somewhere everyone could go. Letting people who’d gotten separated from family during the whole scramble to leave whether their people made it and were incoming or at another place that FP had taken the other half of South Side to keep the cops from finding everyone at once or whether they’d been caught and were going to need bail.

My dad and Archie took over the kitchen with the help of FP and Jughead, making food for everyone. Once everyone else was set up and occupied and there wasn’t anything else I could do to help my dad and my brother, I went to go find Toni and we slipped out of the chaos downstairs, retreating up to my room.

The second the door was closed behind me, Toni spoke up.

“You don’t think Penelope killed her.”

“Toni, no. But I do think that she’s keeping her somewhere. Remember Cheryl telling us that she needed to tell us something important? I think that whatever she was going to tell us is the reason we can’t find her right now. Her mother makes Joan Crawford look like a fucking saint.” I fell back across my bed and stared at the ceiling. Sitting up a few minutes later.

“Hey, that girl in my English class… her mom’s a nurse. I can ask if Cheryl’s been there to sit with her nana.”

I dug my phone out and texted the girl in question. Frowning when the girl answered that she’d been there earlier, but she’d left to go home.

“She’s not there. Okay, I do not like the way this feels.”

“Me either.”

We sat in silence on my bed for a few minutes, trying to figure out a way to find out what happened to Cheryl. As I tried to think of places she might have gone or hidden at, I texted my mom about Fangs being kept at the station.

She texted me back, asking if I knew why they were holding him and I texted her back that we were trying to figure out why and we were hoping she’d call and scare someone into giving some form of an answer.

I frowned when she called a few minutes later and explained that she hadn’t been able to get anything. She asked what the hell was going on in town tonight, telling me that while she’d been talking to the secretary at the station, she’d heard a lot of yelling and angry chanting from outside. And a lot of whispering and hushed laughing.

I told her about the raid and I told her about Midge’s body being found during the school play. I told her that people had been starting rumors for whatever reason that Fangs might have done it, because Midge and Fangs had something going on.

“You’re staying out of trouble though, right? With your brother going through whatever it is he’s going through, sweetie…”

“About that.. I kind of got into a fight. But none of the teachers know. Nobody saw it.”

My mom sighed and I frowned, tensing up a little at a possible lecture incoming. When it started, I sat there with the phone away from my ear, letting her go on for a few minutes before I explained calmly, “I’m not going to stand back and be a doormat either, mom. And since Archie is doing all this and showing his entire ass, I need to take care of my own problems. Mandy was a problem, I solved it. End of discussion.”

“First of all, don’t take that tone with me. Second of all.. Does your father know? Did you tell him any of what you just told me?”

“No. I only told you what I just did to get you off my back. Mom.. I’m.. I love you and I’m sorry. I can’t be perfect and I can’t be something I’m not.”

“I’m not asking you to be perfect. I’m asking you to stay out of trouble.”

“It doesn’t feel like that though.”

We exchanged tense goodnights and goodbyes and I ended the call, tossing my phone at the top of my vanity as I flopped back against my bed.

“Ever feel like the black sheep?” I wondered aloud. Feeling bad about it after I said it, because I realized that Toni literally only had the Serpents, Cheryl and her grandfather and me. I palmed my face and shook my head, ashamed. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I get it. My grandpa and I argue a lot.” Toni gave me a sympathetic nod.

I shook my head at myself. “I swear, my mom and I are constantly butting heads. It’s part of the reason I never understood why she insisted I was the one to go to Chicago with her and that Archie stay here in Riverdale with Dad.”

“Probably because trust me. There are some things that men are not equipped to deal with.”

“I mean, true, but…”

Toni laughed quietly. Stretching a little. “Maybe Cheryl just wanted some space. I haven’t found anything out from anyone else.”

“All I know is what she told me before she left practice. She was going to see her Nana Rose again.”

“Yeah, she told me that too. But she’s been jumpy all day. Like she’s scared.”

“I noticed too.” I agreed, nodding. “Maybe she’ll be at school tomorrow. If she’s not, we’ll ditch and try to find answers or something.”

“Yeah. I’m too wiped to think anymore right now and if I do, I’m going to drive myself insane. And if I do that, we both know I’m going to go off and do something fucking dumb.” Toni admitted as she pulled back the cover on the other side of my bed.

“You’re cool with sharing a bed? I mean, all things considered.”

“Please,I know you have a very specific type of red-head and it ain’t me... Besides. You’re my friend. I’m not making you sleep on the floor.” I answered, gathering my things because I figured that everyone who was planning to shower tonight had probably done so already.

I made my way down the hall, reaching for the handle to the bathroom door right as Sweet Pea pulled it open from the other side. With a towel wrapped around his waist. I spun around, immediately going red in the face. “Shit, fuck. I’m sorry, I.. I thought everyone had already gotten a shower and gone to sleep?” I called out without daring to turn around and face him.

He cleared his throat. “Nah. I told Archie to go before me. I’m the one staying in your house. Didn’t want to intrude.” he tapped my shoulder when he’d pulled on his jeans and I turned around. He took a step forward to come out the door at the same time that I took a step forward to go in the door. We wound up body to body in the hallway. I gazed up at him, licking my lips.

He grimaced as his eyes settled on the bruise on my jaw from the fight earlier in the afternoon. “Did you show your dad? That looks a lot worse now.” His voice took on a concerned tone.

I shook my head. “Nope. I already had more than enough lecturing about it from my mom earlier when I called to get her to see if she could find out anything about why Fangs was arrested and being held.”

Sweet Pea raised a hand, dragging it through damp hair. A droplet of water trickled down his forehead. Then dropped onto his nose, rolling down it’s slope. When it dripped down and rolled down his lips, my eyes were glued to it’s movement. He cleared his throat, repeating the question that he’d asked me I apparently hadn’t heard. “Did she find out anything?”

“Just that they’re holding him until they have to let him go. If I had to guess though, it’s because people were saying crap about him and Midge having a thing going..” I muttered quietly. Shuffling my feet against worn wooden floorboards.

“At least you tried.” he muttered quietly, gazing down at me. His eyes darted to my bruises and scrapes from my fight with Mandy earlier and he cleared his throat. “You should go tell your dad what happened. Just in case she is dumb enough to upload anything she might have recorded and we can’t coerce her into taking it down on our own.”

“If she does, she does. Won’t be the first time something like that happened.” I blurted it out, going quiet as soon as I realized I had. Tensing a little because I really hoped that he didn’t pay it any attention. Or that he didn’t push to know what I meant.I wasn’t even sure why it slipped out. I fidgeted a little, nervous. He eyed me, but luckily, he didn’t ask for further details.

The last thing I wanted right now was for him to know exactly how stupid and pathetic I was and still am. If he knew I’d been dumb enough to sext Dave and Dave had turned and used the photos against me or any of the other shit that I got into in Chicago… I pushed the intrusive thought out of my head.

“Cherry?” Sweet Pea muttered quietly. His eyes fixing on mine. Hints of a smirk playing at his lips. As quickly as the thought came ,, he has literally no idea just how devastatingly handsome he really is, I swear to God.” I hurried to shove it out. Bury it way down deep. Try to ignore the way I felt the slightest flutter of my heart. Or the way my throat seemed to close up when I realized that we were migrating closer to each other and that his hand was brushing against my hip just barely.

“Yeah, Pea?” I finally managed to pull myself together enough to get out the words. Gazing right back up at him, falling in right over my head and virtually powerless to stop it from happening.

“Night.” he yawned as he stepped out of the doorway, making his way back downstairs. From the sound of it, my brother had dragged out one of his old gaming systems. And apparently, he and a few other Serpents were sitting up, playing some long forgotten game. I made my way away from where I’d been peering down the stairs just to make sure that things weren’t tense between everyone and I turned, slipping into the bathroom.

Turning on the hot water and leaning against the wall, letting it cascade down onto my body from above. Just… trying to process the entire craziness of the day so far.

By the time I slipped into my side of the bed, Toni was already asleep, wearing my black velvet eye mask over her eyes. I found one of my other ones and slipped it down over my eyes.

And it seemed like in literally no time, I was out like a light. Exhausted from everything that had gone down in one day.

#sweetpea fanfiction #sweetpea imagine #sweetpea fanfic #sweetpea imagines #sweetpea fic #my writing ; sweetpea #my fanfiction ; sweetpea #my fics ; sweetpea

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crash-cinematic-universe · 4 years

Text

Anxiety V.S. Kit Walker

pairing: Kit Walker/reader

summary/ request: Hiiii! First of all love the blog, it was recommended to me just recently! I was wondering if you could do a Post! Death Kyle x reader or Kit Walker x reader where they notice the changes in her anxiety levels and comfort her when she has a panic attack? I don’t know your boundaries so if you’re uncomfortable it’s okay! You don’t have too. Xtra fluff if ya could. I started Zoloft today so I’m in that kinda mood iykyk 🤷🏻‍♀️ anyway seriously love your content and you! 💖 - @lokiqueenofasgard

warnings: anxiety attacks, anxiety in general

notes: this one was an easy write! sorry it took so long! also, the kids don’t exist in this story because it was More Convenient for me.

taglist: @lokiqueenofasgard

Kit Walker was always a loving person. Ever since he was a kid, everyone around him would congratulate him for his compassion and caring tendencies. Kit would get teased for being sensitive or “womanly” to which he would defend himself with “what’s so wrong with bein’ like a woman, huh?” These personality traits followed him through adulthood and gained him a reputation in his small town for being reliable and charming. Kit had a heart of gold; but the world has a nasty habit of destroying all that is pure and kind. The universe seems to have a vendetta against those who are good and genuine, so it desperately tries to snuff the flame of love in the hearts of good people-- Kit Walker was no exception.

When Kit was attacked by the universe, he was punished for surviving. He was thrown in a torture chamber with hundreds of other lost souls who were victims of the cruelty of the world, or their own mind. The people who were hurting Kit couldn’t see his compassion through their own eyes, all they saw was the murderer he was painted as. Everyone around him was so sure that he was evil, he began to forget his true personality and believe that he really was the bad person they said he was. Nevertheless, he found love in his personal hell, and he used that leverage to keep his true sense of self until he escaped. Unfortunately, the universe wasn’t done crushing Kit, and both of his lovers were taken from him, leaving him to fend for himself against the pain of his past. Kit believed that he was doomed to fail to be the genuinely good person he once was.

Then, Kit Walker met you, and everything fell into place. The pain that followed him from the asylum was eased around you, not totally gone, but made easier. However, the world had tried to crush you, too, and the pain that lingered couldn’t be cured by love alone. The pain that followed you was in your brain, wired in your chemistry, and it made it so much harder for you to be yourself. Kit helped you, and Kit accepted you and attempted to shield you from the cruelty of the outside world. Sadly, Kit couldn’t alter your brain, and sometimes the pain inside you overtook you. Kit did what he could, but he wasn’t perfect. Sometimes, all Kit could do was be there for you.

________

Kit walked down the sidewalk, his footsteps and the breeze the only things breaking the silence of the sunset. A small smile was lingering on his face, a gentle ripped of excitement spreading through his body at the idea of seeing you. Kit had bad days, the horrible memories of the asylum ingrained in his brain popping up throughout the day. He usually flushed these images away with the thought of you.

His dark eyes lit up when your house came into view, his pace quickening slightly as he anticipated the picture of your smiling face and the warm feeling of your touch. He ran his fingers over the cool ridge of his house keys, his heart picking up as he reached the doorstep. He was in a good mood and he was so excited to get to be with you.

When Kit opened the door, his smile was wiped off his face and his heart dropped. You were curled up in a tiny ball, your cheeks wet with tears and your chest heaving with each strenuous breath. Kit was by your side in a split second, his smooth voice attempting to soothe you away from this anxiety attack.

“Hey darlin’, just breathe, okay?” His voice was calm and steady. “Concentrate on your breathin’, stay in the present.” Your heart was beating sporadically, your hands trembling as you curled yourself tighter. Kit knew how to handle these panic attacks: don’t freak out, don’t move suddenly, and be empathetic. He made sure not to get too close as to ensure that you didn’t feel trapped and he definitely didn’t touch you too suddenly.

“What do you need, darlin’, huh? Just tell me what you need me to do and I’ll do it.” He waited patiently before you managed to control your breathing enough to stutter out.

“W-Water.” Kit nodded before retrieving you a glass of water. He set it beside you before kneeling directly in front of you.

“You think you can count to ten with me, darlin’?” Kit smiled as you hesitantly nodded, his eyes meeting yours.

“One,” He spoke clearly. You trembled, your breathing hasty and uneven and panic written on your face.

“T-t-t-” You stuttered, gasping with each sound.

“Take your time, darlin’, try to steady your breathing.” His voice was soothing and grounded you to the present. The horrific images of your past trauma resurfaced mere minutes before Kit arrived home, yet they broke you down into a shaking ball of panic.

“T-two.” you sputtered, and Kit smiled.

“That’s good, darlin’, I’m proud of you.” He assured you. “Three.” You held your breath for a second before releasing it and holding your breath again before breathing in.

“Four.” You said clearly. You had stopped trembling so hard, but you still struggled at containing your breathing.

“Five.” Kit looks at you encouragingly, his eyes urging you forward into a peaceful place.

“S-ix.” You said smoothly, reigning your control once again.

“Seven, you got this, darlin’,” Kit placed his hands in yours incredibly slowly, the skin-to-skin contact anchoring you to reality.

“Eight.” Your breathing was steady, and you were barely trembling, but Kit wanted to ensure that you were as good as possible.

“Nine.” Kit grinned.

“Ten.” You smiled back at your wonderful boyfriend, his eyes relieved and calm and full of love. “Thanks, Kit.”

“No problem, darlin’. I’m proud of you.” He gently pulled you to your feet before engulfing you in a tight hug. “You’re so strong, you know that? You deal with things that other people could only dream of.”

“I wouldn’t be able to deal with them without you, Kit.” You respond.

“Well then,” he laughed quietly. “Looks like I gotta stick around, huh?” You chuckle before pulling his lips to yours.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

#kit walker #kit walker x reader #Evan Peters #AHS Evan Peters #ahs asylum #american horror story #american horror story fanfiction #american horror story asylum

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krystabel02 · 3 years

Text

Complicated: Raphael x OC x Spencer Reid Chapter 3

Masterlist

After hours of working on the geographical profile, Angel decided to take a break and maybe get some coffee. While she usually would make a pot at whatever station they were working at, the coffee machine maker was out of order. Angel decided to take advantage of the situation.

After Angel grabbed her jacket and wallet, offering to hold her and Spencer a cup of coffee. To no surprise, he was more than delighted to accept a cup. Spencer had even attempted to walk with her to the coffee shop. Angel nevertheless graciously declined his offer. She was more than capable of protecting herself, and she knew this.

It didn't take Angel long to walk to the coffee shop, just a five-minute walk. About 10-minutes later, Angel was finally stepping out with two cups of coffee and making her way back to the police station. She was unaware that Raph was staring at her as she made her way ago.

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The minute Raph saw Angel, he knew he was screwed. There just 20 feet away, was the woman who he was in love with and the one who got away. Raph didn't even know how to feel. Happy? Guilty? So many thoughts ran through his head.

Raph got caught up in his thoughts and took no notice that his brothers had walked up next to him. Leo waved his hand in front of his brother's face, not even noticing Angel at first. "Raph, What's going on? Why did you suddenly stop?" Leo asked as he made continued attempts to get Raph's attention.

Donnie followed Raph's eyesight and saw what, or rather, who Raph was staring at; his eyes widened a bit before he tapped Leo on the shoulder. "Leo, look." He said, pointing to Angel walking down the sidewalk.

Leo turned his attention to Donnie for a moment before looking over to where Donnie was pointing. He saw Angel walking, and suddenly everything about Raph's behavior made sense. He looked over at Raph and gently shook his shoulders. "Raph? Raph! Are you okay?" He asked, worried about his brother.

Raph couldn't respond. He just watched as Angel walked into the police station. He shook his head before stepping back, running his hands over the top of his head and resting them on the back of his neck. "Sh-She's here? But how? I looked all over New York City and couldn't find her!! H-How could I have missed her?!" Raph questioned. He could feel his eyes welling up with tears at the mere thought of seeing her again.

Was this fate giving him a second chance? A chance to make things right. Or was this karma, showing him what he lost. Either way, Angel was here, she was here, and he wanted to talk to her. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke up. "I-I need to talk to her! I have to hear her voice, see her in person. I need to know that's her!" Raph rambled as he paced around in circles on the rooftop.

Leo looked over at Donnie and Mikey with a worried look. Had Raph gone insane? It's been seven months since he'd seen Angel. So much could have happened in that amount of time. He didn't want Raph to talk to her and then find out he's too late. Leo knew more than anyone that would destroy Raph. "Raph, You're not thinking straight. Let's take a moment and think rationally." Leo said smoothly.

Raph shook his head before looking at his brother. "No, you don't get it, Leo! Angel is right there and in person. I have been thinking about this moment for months, and now it's finally happening. I finally have the chance to make it right, maybe even win her heart back." Raph said as he felt the tears run down his face. It'd been so long since he has seen her, and that moment when he saw her again, he knew he craved. No. He needed her back.

Leo sighed before making his way closer to Raph. "Raph! What if she's moved on? Has a new boyfriend? Or what if she doesn't want to talk to you? I'm not trying to hurt you, but I don't want you to try and talk to her if you're just gonna end up heartbroken again." Leo said, attempting to reason with Raph. He knew nothing would stop Raph if this was what he really wanted, but he wanted to at least try.

Raph shook his head before running off, jumping rooftop to rooftop towards the police station. He'd made his mind up, and nothing was going to change that. Raph already made a plan, and he was going to execute it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Angel walked back into the room where the team was set up. Walking up to Spencer, she smiled and held out one of the coffee cups she was holding. "Here's your coffee Spence. How's the geographical profile coming?" She asked before sitting down to drink her coffee.

Spencer looked over, smiling before taking his coffee, proceeding to take a sip. "It's going, I guess. I just can't seem to find this guy's hunting zone. These points are all over the map, but they don't seem centralized in one location. I wonder if the others had any better luck, though." Spencer said before taking a seat near Angel. He looked over and smiled before letting a yawn out. "Anyway, how was your walk? I could've gone with you, ya know." Spencer said softly. He couldn't help but worry about her.

Angel smiled as she put her cup down, "It was great, Spence. Though.." She trailed off, her face contorting into somewhat of a pondering look. Nothing had happened during her walk, but from the moment she stepped out, she couldn't help but feel as though she had been followed.

Spencer noticed her facial expression and immediately got concerned. He reached over, tenderly running his hand over her forearm. "Angel, what's wrong?" He asked softly, his eyes filled with concern as his soft, copper-colored curls fell down his face a little.

Angel bit her lip, debating about telling Spencer. With their affections toward each other out in the open and her indecision, Angel didn't want to get Spencer worried for no reason. However, she also couldn't shake the feeling that someone had been watching her either. Ultimately, she decided to hold off on telling Spencer until she was absolutely positive.

Angel looked Spencer in the eyes, shooting a smile before she softly shook her head. "Oh, nothing. It was just kinda chilly today. I guess I should've brought a jacket with me." Angel stated before she stood up, stepping over to the map. She looked it over, but she could feel Spencer's gaze behind her.

Spencer's eyes continued to stare at Angel. Not in anger, but in concern. Angel was obviously withholding something from him; he simply couldn't figure out what it was. It pushed him insane to not identify, especially since this is the woman of his desires. All he desired was to preserve her. Every time he so much as pictured her in harm's way, his heart throbbed. As much as Spencer disliked that Angel was withholding something from him, he also didn't want to push her to address it if she didn't desire to. He believed that if she wanted to tell him, she would have.

That wouldn't stop Spencer from keeping a close eye on her, though. Just to make sure. He would hate if anything happened to her because, in his eyes, Angel was everything. She deserved the world, and to know that she actually likes him back. That fact alone made him more protective than anything.

For now, though, he just nodded before turning back to the board to continue with the geographical profile.

Angel looked over and smiled softly when Spencer has his back to her. While she may not have told him what was wrong, she did appreciate his concern. It wasn't long before the phone went off, and Angel answered, knowing it was Garcia. "Hey, Garcia. Did you find anything?"

Garcia chuckled as she nodded, typing away at her computer with her headset on. "Ten points to Angel. So, I cross-reference any unsolved homicides around the New York Area that showed the exact same M.O, and I actually found a couple more bodies. However, they are more on the high-risk scale. First up is Victoria Bennett. She was a 20-year-old prostitute who went missing while she was headed home, and her body was found a week later in Central Park on a bench. She was last seen in an alleyway next to a pizza parlor. Next up, we have Amber Hendricks, a 24-year-old prostitute also from New York. She was last seen leaving a bank. Unfortunately, the cameras didn't see anything about the unsub or where she was going. Her body was found two weeks after Victoria's at a bus stop. Looks like she was posed to look like she was sleeping, so pedestrians didn't even realize she was dead." Garcia explained as she sighed, typing away to fax the pictures to the precinct. "I've already sent the pictures to you."

Angel chuckled as she looked up at Spencer, who was already putting the new points on the map before she yawned. "Thanks, Garcia." Before hanging up, she said, heading to the fax machine to grab the photos before walking back and hanging them up on the second board they had in the room. "Did that help any Spence?" Angel asked as she looked back to Spencer.

Spencer finished the last point before he nodded, circling an area of about 25 miles between all the points. "Yea, it did. It's most likely our unsub is a New York resident based on the points and where he placed the victims. He knew which areas wouldn't be busy, and he knows how to get himself to and from the disposal sights without being seen.

Angel nodded before she sighed, looking at the board and rubbing her eyes. Just looking at the board was already making her eyes hurt, especially since they've been at it for at least four hours. "We should head to the disposal sights. maybe there's something unique about them." Angel said as she grabbed her jacket and put it on, Spencer doing the same as he nodded.

"I'll call Hotch and let him know," Spencer said as he made his way out of the station, heading to one of the SUVs. Angel wasn't far behind him, getting into the passenger seat.

Again, the minute Angel stepped outside, she felt someone watching her, making her feel uneasy. However, she didn't let it bother her. Instead, she quickly climbed into the car to head off to the disposal sights with Spencer.

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What on earth was he thinking? If Raph was going, to be honest, he wasn't. He gave in to the desires deep in his heart, the same desires that he'd craved for months and months. He knew the moment he lost her, from that day he broke down in her old apartment, he wanted nothing else than to have Angel back.

Angel clouded Raph's mind from the moment he woke up to the time he cried himself to sleep. There was nothing that could ever soothe his broken heart over the past several months. It's just his luck that Raph would see her again, though it's still unsure whether this was another chance to get her back, or rather a slap in the face. A way of the world showing Raph what he lost.

Raph was almost at the edge when he saw a reasonably scrawny guy exiting the station with keys for a black SUV, and right behind him was Angel. The love of his life. Raph was about to go down and talk to Angel....That was until he saw how the guy with Angel looked at her and treated her. It was so clear that he liked Angel.

How is Raph suppose to feel? He loves Angel with every ounce of him, and the idea that someone else is falling for her angered him more than anything. But the one thing that made it worst....was seeing Angel smile at him, the way she used to smile at Raph. That alone felt like a stab to the heart. He watched as the SUV pulled away, driving off down the road, and the entire time, Raph felt a tug at his heart.

#spencer reid #spencer reid angst #tmnt #tmnt raphael

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whentommymetalfie · 4 years

Text

Lights On

A/N: A quick little one shot I wrote for the Tommy/Alfie prompt fest over on Ao3. Modern AU and not connected to any of my other works. Established relationship and lots of hurt/comfort.

Summary: Every year on Bonfire Night, Tommy hides under the covers terrified by all the fireworks, this year Alfie is under the covers with him comforting him.

Tommy doesn’t acknowledge him. His breathing continues to come in erratic burst, wheezing out of his throat. Alfie strokes his hair

“It‘s just noise, love, just noise,” he whispers. “It’s scary fucking noise, I’ll give you that, all those bangs. But it’s just noise."

Pairing: Tommy/Alife

Wordcount: 1800

Warnings: ptsd

Never fucking drive in London... Alfie should know better by now and he thoroughly hates himself for this decision, as well as the one to ‘just swing by for some groceries’ despite working late in the bakery to prepare a dough. But his royal highness Thomas Michael Shelby will be most displeased if there’s no milk tomorrow and honestly, whatever his princess wants, he shall have. If only because it gives Alfie the excuse to say that exact phrase and watch Tommy scowl at him.

Right now however, he’s fairly sure Tommy would’ve taken his tea without milk indefinitely if it had meant Alfie would’ve been home on time.

Finally, he has to give up and park several blocks away from their apartment. And it’s possible the front tire ends up on the sidewalk, but that seems completely irrelevant at the moment. Far above him, the smattering of fireworks continue relentlessly. He slams the door shut using his foot, one arm around the bag of groceries and fishing for his mobile in his coat pocket with his free hand. The signals go through, but there’s no answer. Making his way down the street he starts typing out yet another text, despite the three previous ones remaining unanswered. Will be home in less than five minutes love-

“Oi, watch where you’re-“

He doesn’t even slow down to apologize to the highly offended owner of the voice.

Two minutes later, he’s standing outside their apartment, cursing and wrestling with the locks on the door, wondering who on earth decided doors needed this many fucking locks. If people are determined enough to break in and have gotten through one lock, why would a second one stop them? Would they suddenly fucking… give up halfway through?

Finally he gets the door open.

“Tommy, love, I’m so sorry I’m late. It‘s fucking bullshit this… was an accident on the A40 and I had to-“ He struggles out of his boots, leaving them haphazardly in the middle of the hallway. “Had to fucking take the tunnel, didn’t I? Yeah. Absolute fucking bullshit- Some people clearly shouldn’t be operating any vehicle more complicated than a bike.“

All the lights are on in the apartment, but Tommy is nowhere to be seen.

“Tommy?” He shoves the entire bag of groceries into the fridge -fuck actually sorting them into shelves, he’s got more important things to do, and then sets off towards the bedroom.

There’s a small lump in the middle of the bed, covered entirely by the duvet and several blankets.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he sighs as he walks up to the bed, sinking down onto the mattress and rubbing his palm over the figure. “It’s okay.”

The lump remains motionless but he feels the slight tremors under his palm, can hear the hitched breaths. When he lifts the covers ever so slightly he finds Tommy curled up into a tightly wounded ball, knees drawn up to his chest, face tucked against them and arms covering his head. He’s not just trembling, but actually shaking violently, which becomes painfully clear now. When a smattering of fireworks go off just a block or two away, he lets out a choked whimper and winds his fingers into his hair.

“It’s alright, love, I’m here now,” Alfie says and lies down behind him, pulling the covers up over them both again. Then he curls himself around his quivering frame, opting for wrapping an arm all the way over his knees and letting him stay in his position. Tommy doesn’t acknowledge him. His breathing continues to come in erratic burst, wheezing out of his throat. Alfie strokes his hair

“It‘s just noise, love, just noise,” he whispers. “It’s scary fucking noise, I’ll give you that, all those bangs. But it’s just noise. Happy people who just want an excuse to play with a bit of… fire and gunpowder, but it’s all fun and games. And the worst that’ll come out of it are all those colourful plastic bits you find all over the city for days afterwards.”

He presses a kiss against the nape of his neck.

“You’re home, you’re safe, and no one in the world will ever hurt you again. Because I’m going to personally hunt them down and end them in the most painful way possible if they do.”

There’s a high bang right outside the bloody window and Tommy lets out a horrified shriek that seems to cut like a dagger through his chest. Then there’s another one and Alfie realises that whoever is setting those off is hanging out on the street beneath their flat. If he listens closely, he can hear the unmistakable drunken hollering of a few lads apparently having the time of their fucking life out there.

When the third firecracker goes off, Tommy starts crying. This heart wrenching, desperately frightened sound that cuts him to his very core.

And fuck it, Alfie might not be able to do anything about the entire goddamn city losing their collective mind, but he can at the very least keep them away from this small patch of street…

“I’ll be right back, love,” he promises in a whisper and squeezes Tommy tightly, before climbing out of bed and stomping over to the window. He throws it open and stares down at the street, where a group of five young men are having a grand ole time with a box of matches and far more firecrackers than anyone should reasonably have. Which of course must break all sorts of laws but he couldn’t give less of a fuck -as long as they’re far away from here.

“Oi, you fucking lot!” he bellows and successfully gains the attention of at least two of them -one wearing a spectacularly dumb hat with some print he can’t read but instantly hates anyway, and one with a slightly less dumb hat. “Fuck off with that noise will you?”

“Nah, you fucking…fuck off,” Dumb Hat Guy yells back. Now, that’s really fucking eloquent, innit?

“Alright, this is the deal,” Alfie barks at them, somehow trying to burn Dumb Hat alive with his gaze alone. “I’ve got someone up here who can’t fucking stand all this noise. So if I have to fucking tell you again, I’m going to come down there and shove one of those so far up your arse you can fire it through your fucking mouth!” He does wish he was a bit closer -he cuts a more imposing figure face to face, he’s well aware. But thank fuck the guys don’t seem to be out for trouble tonight.

“Fucking fine,” Less Dumb Hat Guy bellows as Dumb Hat Guy starts dragging him down the street to join their three friends, who are blessing the neighbourhood with a terribly off key version of God save the queen.

All things considered that went easier than expected. Alfie shoves the window closed and quickly returns to the bed and Tommy, who hasn’t moved an inch since he left, still shaking violently and choking out heart wrenching sobs. He pulls him close again.

“There we go, they went away. I know I can’t make all of the noise stop, but it’s a start,” he whispers and rubs his palm over his side. “But it’ll stop soon, I promise.”

For a bit, there’s no change: Tommy stays curled up so tightly that Alfie thinks he might’ve frozen like that, the quiet sobs wracking his frame. Alfie just holds him. Holds him, shushes him gently and mutters soothing nonsense against the soft skin on the back of his neck. It’s all he can do for now. He wishes he didn’t have to know shit like that, but things are the way they are, right? So he’s well versed in how these things usually go. And he knows that right now, Tommy can’t quite hear him. Mostly just registers that he’s there, that he’s not alone. But there’s no point in getting into elaborate stories. Simply repeating that he’s safe, that he’s not alone and holding him is enough.

Bit by bit, Tommy’s muscles seem to soften, and his legs relax enough for Alfie to wrap the arm around his waist instead. He places a hand on his chest, feeling the quick pitter patter of Tommy’s heart against his palm. Like a frightened rabbit’s. He pulls him a bit closer. Hoping his own heartbeat will somehow seep into Tommy’s chest and calm his racing pulse.

The fireworks continue to thunder in the distance.

“So, a lady came to the bakery today,” he begins quietly. “Wanted to buy raisin bagels. Of all the things in the world. Whoever began stuffing raisins into perfectly good bread should be charged for their heinous crimes against humanity.“

He talks a bit about the nerve of certain people. It’s becoming quite warm and stuffy underneath the duvet, but it’s a small price to pay. Whatever makes Tommy feel even marginally more safe is worth it. As he talks, he can feel Tommy relax further into his embrace. Finally he turns around to face him, burying his face in his chest.

“Would you like to get out of these clothes, love?” he asks then. “Think you’d be more comfortable.”

After getting a small nod in response, he helps Tommy out of his clothes and goes to turn the light off, making sure to first switch on the lamp on the bedside table. When he climbs back into bed, Tommy is watching him from under heavy eyelids, his long lashes still wet with tears. God, if he could, he’d go out there and personally rip the fireworks from each and every fucking idiot holding them, consequences be damned. A statement that when said out loud finally earns him a faint smile, even as Tommy still trembles ever so slightly.

Soon, Tommy is safely wrapped up in his arms again, face buried in his chest. Outside, another round of fireworks go off right nearby and like clockwork, his breathing hitches.

“Did I ever tell you about the time me and my cousin tried to build a hot air balloon and send his action figure to the moon?” Alfie asks and Tommy makes a noise that could almost be the beginning of a quiet laugh.

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, it’s an excellent, excellent story, so strap yourself in,” he says and starts stroking his hair again, raking his nails softly against his scalp. “So, me and my cousin, right, we used to spend a few weeks every year at his grandmother’s place outside Margate. Big fields and all that, and-“

It’s a long story. And once that is finished, he follows it up with another one, and another, as the fireworks outside continue to brighten the sky into blue and green and red. Tommy clings tightly to him, as if he’s drowning. Perhaps he is, in a way. But Alfie will do his best to keep him afloat.

#tommy x alfie #Tommy Shelby #Alfie Solomons #peaky blinders fanfiction #tw: ptsd

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leagueofidiots · 4 years

Note

People keep referencing the one chapter of you're NNWM, what happened??

Shigadabi, but my subconcious was shipping Spinnerdabi on main in retrospect/ Magnetmagic briefly

Song fic for Billie Eillish's Listen Before I Go

Last two chapters, needs a little context, but all the important stuff is explained

I'll also include the chapter after because I'd feel bad if I didn't

WARNING!! I'M VERY SERIOUS!! THERE IS A SUICIDE ATTEMPT HERE!! I EVEN TRIGGERED MYSELF WHILE WRITING THIS, AND THAT IS VERY RARE!! BE SMARTER THAN ME, AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT SITTING ALONE IN A DARK HOUSE AFTER SKIPPING TWO MEALS!! HUG A PILLOW!! GET SOME WATER!! BE CAREFUL!! 💜

•Take me to the rooftop•

Tomura's asleep next to me, face still turned up to the stars. We've been up here for about two hours, but he finally fell asleep.

The promised celebration was nice. We had it as soon as I was well enough to be close to normal as I could, which only took about a week. They learned how to make a few things from what Hawks gave us before the battle, which I ended up eating some of to make them happy.

They did end up having to take me to Ujiko. My burns spread, now uneven again. He says he'll bring my aesthetic back next time I go in to get my staples fixed. I agreed. There will be no next time, after all.

•I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turning blue•

After Tomura brought me up here, we simply talked. No unnecessary emotional dumps. No tears. No drama. Just simple things.

And now he lies next to me, a bandage he tied around his pinkie allowing him to grasp my hand in his own. It's nice, I'll admit. Breathing in the cool air as I sense his every small movement.

The stars are beautiful tonight. We snuffed the flame of our lantern, though that was nice too, just to see them better. The city lights make it so there aren't many, but it's still a good night for the sky.

•Tell me love is endless, don't be so pretentious•

Careful not to wake him, I carefully pry my hand from my boyfriend's. I'll do what I need to do, but I'd rather him not be awake for this. It's my time, no matter what.

I'm ready for the end, and apparently whoever it is that decides my fate agrees. All I can hope for is that Tomura doesn't blame himself when they find me dead on the sidewalk tomorrow.

What will they do? At least I'm not their leader, but I do still have an influence on the league. Even as useless as I am now, surely they'll still react.

Standing at the edge. It's coming. The end of it all. I'll never have to think about any of it ever again. The brutal training my father put me through. My mother going insane. Burning. Ujiko's experiments. The streets practically eating me alive. Giran's guidance into crime. Killing my father only a week ago.

•Leave me like you do•

The news has been all over the case. Endeavor and Hawks found dead. Witnesses say it was Dabi that killed them. Both burnt to a crisp, Hawks with half-grown-in wings.

Dabi's body hasn't been found, not even a trace. They think he might have burned too, that the black and purple flames seen from outside the wall of blue may have consumed him entirely, taking even his ashes with him.

•If you need me, wanna see me•

And they're right. Dabi's dead. Lost in the flames. Dabi carried rage and purpose, and all he stood for was taken with my piercings and my skin.

Touya died with his innocence, along with his weakness. And now Dabi has followed with all of his anger. Everything that fuelled him, that kept him going, is gone now. So now I am nameless.

•Better hurry 'cause I'm leaving soon•

I wonder what they'll do when I'm really dead. Will the news care? Or will it just pass by like anything else?

They certainly care about the rest of the Todorokis. The thoughts of my mother and siblings make more sense to me than my own at this point.

Rei Todoroki. Wife of Enji Todoroki. Recently released from the mental asylum. Deep in grief. She's planning the funeral for a month from the day of his death. Their deaths. She's set up a shrine for her late husband next to the front door, though reports say it's more for his identity as a hero than the shrine for her son.

•Sorry can't save me now•

Fuyumi Todoroki. The daughter of Enji Todoroki. She says she can't grasp that her brother is dead. She says she feels it in her soul that he isn't. That it's freeing, her father's death.

•Sorry I don't know how•

Natsuo Todoroki. The son of Enji Todoroki. He's avoided all reporters. Hasn't left his room since getting the news. His family says that he and Touya Todoroki used to be close, and Natsuo was elated to hear he wasn't dead. All that is gone now. That his only consolation is that his family is safe from the pro hero.

•Sorry there's no way out•

Shoto Todoroki. Son of Enji Todoroki. He's been busy with school, so not a lot of reporters have been able to talk to him, but his grades are suffering. UA is considering making him take a year off to focus on his mental health.

•But down•

The family as a whole is in general agreement. It's a tragedy to them. Both deaths. And while Endeavor may have had a negative influence on them in life, and they feel safer with him gone, they still mourn his death.

And while it's a painful blow that Touya has died again as Dabi, it is also a good thing. He had turned villain after all. It's for the best.

Well, I guess they'll really get what they wanted. Touya, Dabi, and whoever I am now are about to be long gone.

•Down•

What were my last moments with each of them? I want to think of each of them before I go. I at least owe each of them a thought.

•Taste me, these salty tears on my cheeks•

Start easy. Eri and Butt. They were together on the couch, weren't they? Yeah.

Eri was tired. Once it hit around nine, she lay down on the couch, calling up the dog to curl up next to each other. There was almost a smile on her face as she drifted off, and Compress carried her in.

•That's what a year-long headache does to you•

Hawks. He had done things, after all. And it was my fault he was gone. Even if he was a traitor, he still did the best that a pro hero could do. It's not him I'm mad at. Was mad at.

His last moment was spent trying to get Endeavor to stop. For legal reasons, surely not because he cared at all. And then my father just had to burn him up, like everyone else in his way.

•I'm not okay, I feel so scattered•

Compress. Where had he been?

His date with Magne had been postponed once I ended up injured. He'd said I was more important. Like I had any importance. After he'd taken Eri to her room, he'd gone to bed, saying he wanted to rest for the date.

I wonder if they'll move it again when they find me? I hope not.

•Don't say I'm all that matters•

Kurogiri. Tomura was right, he really is good.

His last action towards me was pretty simple. Before he went to bed, he gave me a pack of beers that we'd ended up taking to the roof. Told me not to drink too much.

I probably should have respected that wish more. I'm on my fifth can. I don't regret it though.

•Leave me, déjà vu•

Spinner.

His last action hadn't been anything much. Just said good night. Still, before that he'd told me off to the side how proud he was of how much of their food I'd eaten.

•If you need me, wanna see me•

Magne. Bless her, I wish I'd said goodbye to them.

Tonight she was having problems with her stomach, so she spent her evening in her room. The last I saw of her was her smile as we did each others' eye liner.

She was very helpful during my healing process. Brought me the closest to normal out of anyone.

•You better hurry, I'm leaving soon•

Toga. What will Toga think of me when she sees? Will she hate me?

Toga spent most of her time singing karaoke with Jin. My final memory of her is the sound of her cheery voice as she spun around, nearly forcing her hairbrush down her throat as a makeshift microphone.

What was the song? I wasn't listening. I wish I had been so I could hum it to myself now.

•Sorry can't save me now•

Jin. I'm a terrible person.

After most people had gone to bed, he'd pulled me aside. Asked if I was okay. That it was okay if I wasn't. And you know what I did?

I lied.

And he'd smiled. Like I'd said something amazing. And he spent the next five minutes saying how happy he was that I was happy.

He'll definitely hate me when he finds me.

•Sorry I don't know how•

And Tomura.

Tomura.

Before he'd slept, he'd looked me straight in the eye, my hand closed gently in his, and he'd said he loved me. That he needed me.

I'm so selfish.

His red eyes shone beautifully as he'd said it, filling me with butterflies. They'd died as soon as he broke eye contact, but it was the first thing I'd felt since the attack.

I'd told him that I needed him too.

•Sorry there's no way out•

I'm glad I saw them all. That I can recall what our final words were. Their last smiles at me. That I can picture them all in my mind. It'll help me when it's time.

There's no way I'd be strong enough without it. Even now, a foot away from the ledge, I'm scared. The end.

•But down•

The end has always been a comfort. Something to look forward to. Whenever my head got dark, and I couldn't see a way out, I just reminded myself that there was an end that drew closer with every second.

•Down•

And here it is. Waiting for me a short drop and a few seconds away. Since getting up has already felt like an eternity, but the six steps from where I started aren't that far compared to the path of life I've been lost on for so long.

•Call my friends and tell them that I love them•

The league helped me find it. Find life. They showed me where I was, and they've led me to this point. I'll have to thank them when we all end up dead and I see them again. If I see them again.

•And I'll miss them•

Even before Shigaraki bribed us with those dumb gifts to stay in the bar and treat it like a home, I considered them a safe place. Safer anyway.

•But I'm not sorry•

And they kept me on the path I needed to be on. Kept me alive. For the most part, kept my additional burns to a minimum.

The streets never did that. They left me to defend those younger than me, even if only by a few years, at the cost of my life if need be.

•Call my friends and tell them that I love them•

If not for the league, if not for seeing that newscast when I did, Endeavor would still be alive and active as a hero. Life would still be a spiral with no clear end in sight.

•And I'll miss them•

I step onto the edge of the roof, looking down at the end. Like in storybooks. The villain dies, and they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

•Sorry•

I drape one leg over, closing my eyes. I'm ready for it. My ending. I lean forward.

And just as my eyes snap open and a feeling of paralyzing panic fills me with regret, it happens.

A hand, one finger bandaged, reaches out and grabs my wrist, leaving me dangling by a foot and an arm off the roof of the bar.

Shigaraki's arms feel strong. So strong compared to me. After he caught me, he didn't waste a second getting me down from the roof. I can't say I wanted to stay up there.

My whole life led up to that moment. Everything I went through was just to end it all. And then I didn't want to. Right at the last second. Is that weakness?

Shigaraki's heavy breathing of panic and sobs managed to wake somebody up, and eventually they've all filed out to the scene of the two of us sitting on the floor, Tomura holding onto me tightly, my sight fixed firmly into the distance.

"Shiggy, what's wrong?" asks Magne, rubbing her eyes.

He doesn't answer, still clutching onto me, and I can't find it in myself to answer. "Be careful of Dabi's burns," warns Kurogiri.

I can't feel them. Even if I could, I don't think I'd care. He's anchoring me, and right now I desperately need that hold on reality. Still, he loosens his death grip.

"Did something happen?" asks Spinner, his hair cascading around his face.

"Well obviously something happened. No, they look peachy!" Jin plops down in front of us. "Dabi, did you…?"

I finally snap my gaze to him, staring at his masked face. "I'm sorry, Bubaigawara, I just---"

His arms wrap around me too, pressing my face into his shoulder. "You don't have to be sorry," he says in a broken voice. I wait for his contradiction, but it doesn't come.

I hear Compress kneel behind us, pressing his hand on Shigaraki's shoulder. "He's okay, Tomura. We'll look out for him."

My boyfriend's body shakes, his available fingernails digging into my chest through the front of my shirt. "Dabi, please don't, please, you said you loved me, please don't leave me," says his quiet voice.

I feel awful. I hurt him for nothing. And Jin. And I can feel in the air that the rest of the league is slowly figuring it out too. It didn't even come to anything but hurt.

"Dabi, I swear, you need to stop being so blind," says Toga, sitting behind Twice. "You know that we love you, right?"

"I know," I whisper. "I know. I'm sorry."

Kurogiri sits to the side of me Tomura doesn't take up. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, you know. You just wanted the easy way out of your suffering. There's nothing so terrible about wanting it to stop. I just hope you'll learn someday that we can help you end it in a way that will let you keep going after that."

I nod, reaching up one of my hands to place over Tomura's. Geez, I'm crying. Again.

"And even if it's selfish of us," says Magne, sitting herself next to Shigaraki. "You're good to have around. And not just for your quirk, either, so don't start that nonsense again."

Tomura grabs my straying hand. "Don't you ever pull that crap again."

I squeeze his hand. "I won't. I swear. Thank you for catching me." And I mean it. There's something in me now that I think I've been stuffing down.

I love these people. And while it does scare me because of all that's happened with those I've loved and trusted before, I don't think it'll end like that this time. I love them. And I want to keep going, even if for a while it's only because I have them, that's okay.

I love them enough that I want to keep living. To keep trying. Past all the pain.

"I wish you'd told us before now," says Spinner, tying his hair back to keep it out of his eyes. "Maybe we could have helped before it got to this."

"No, I knew," says Twice, face still pressed into my shirt, dampening it with his hot tears. "I knew, and all I did was give him a little slap on the wrist. You people are just blind!"

"No," I say, bringing my other hand to his back. "It's not any of your faults. If anything, you guys already helped a lot. Please don't blame yourselves for this."

Magne ruffles my hair gently. "It's nobody's fault. Sometimes things are just like that. What's important is that you're still here with us, and nobody got hurt."

"Did you want to talk about it?" asks Kurogiri.

I shake my head. "Nothing new. I just had it set in my mind as the only option. It got to be too much a while ago, and that's what I decided, so then once Endeavor was dead...I just sort of went on auto-pilot."

Toga smiles at me faintly. "Well, don't worry about it. Just a week ago I killed a guy on a whim; we all do weird stuff sometimes. That was a bad example, huh?"

Shigaraki grunts. "It kind of was. I'm in a weird mood though, so I'll allow it."

The next hour is spent in silence as Tomura cries the rest of his feelings out and we simply sit in the bar. It's not the same, but it's good. I feel lighter.

The next day brings awkwardness and hangovers, but it really doesn't matter. We're all just sort of happy to be around each other. Grateful.

Magne and Compress do end up going on that date, and they end up having a lot of fun apparently. Whatever Sako did must have been very impressive, with the amount of blushing Kenji was doing when they came back.

Tomura and I go on an official date too, a few days later. It's very nice. I really do love him.

And now, it doesn't really matter what we're doing as a group, or where or next mission will take us, because regardless of whatever it is, we're doing it together. And really, that's all I've ever wanted in a family.

#nanowrimo #writing

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iwillgiveyoumyhappiness · 5 years

Text

박준희, Park Junhee

itslilliansnow asked:

You're totally right about the culprit! I hate him, damn. Okay, it's AU of course and Junhee and the reader keep dreaming each other but the point is... they aren't friends, they didn't know each other! Every morning they wake up, forgetting the dream and then... BOOM! They CASUALLY bump into each other but.. Junhee doesn't recognize the reader, instead the reader does it. so they become friends (actually the reader is dying because damn I LOVE YOU, YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!) a bit of angst but at the end that dumb FINALLY remember her for his dreams and A LOT OF FLUFF AT THE END. This is the idea (actually it's a dream I did......) if you're comfortable with it, just take it, it's yours. If you're not.. DON'T EVEN TRY TO DO IT, YOU KNOW I DON'T WANNA LOAD YOU WITH SHIT YOU DON'T LIKE IT. Well.... that's all, love you. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙 - Saturn

Group: A.C.E. (에이스)

Member: Jun

(A/N) Listen to this with Feel Something by Landon Austin.

It was past midnight, yet you still didn’t dare to go to sleep. If you did, you’d just wake up again in a few hours in a cold sweat, your mind filled with worries. You wondered sometimes if you were going insane.

You knew you were dreaming—you had been for almost every night in the past three years—but it’d gotten especially bad these past few months. Almost as something imminent was coming for you, but you couldn’t place what it was.

It should’ve made you frightened, this feeling of not knowing. But instead, it was the opposite. It made you anxious, of course, but more than anything, you felt at peace with the thought. Something was coming for you, and you didn’t know what it was, but you weren’t scared.

In fact, most of the anxiousness came from waiting for it.

Even though you didn’t remember your dreams when you woke up, there was always a lingering warmth in them that was shattered by your sudden rousing. The fear always came at the very end, because it felt like something was slipping far, far away—out of your reach. Something important.

Something that would hurt you if you lost it.

You sighed. “I wish I knew what,” you mumbled to yourself, fogging up the glass in front of you. You wiped it away with the sleeve of your over-sized sweater, bringing the fuzzy city lights back into view.

There was one good thing about being up at this hour. You got to see the world from an angle that most people didn’t. You got to see the city in its fledgling hours from your little window nook.

As the saying goes, it truly never slept.

It always had some sort of life. Something that made it sparkle with just a little bit of wonder. You leaned your head against the window, the glass a little chilly against your forehead. You watched cars passing in the night—or early morning, as it may be—the sky become progressively lighter shades of dark blue, and the cityscape slowly becoming clearer in the distance.

You stared at your faint reflection in the window. Messy hair, tired eyes, an old, worn out sweater and no pants. Not exactly the prettiest of pictures.

“Oh, what the hell,” you muttered. You stood up, trekking across the room and grabbing some jeans out of your dresser drawers with a huff. “I’m not gonna be able to sleep anyway.”

What better way to experience your insomniac hours than with the nightlife?

Fresh air never killed anyone.

You didn’t even bother brushing your hair before you grabbed your purse, locked your door behind you and left your apartment building, taking in a deep breath of the night air.

As a city was, the air was a little musty, but it was a musty you’d come to love after living there so long. It felt refreshing to you, compared to your suffocating apartment.

Your flip-flops—yes, flip-flops—clapped against the pavement as you walked along, no set destination in sight. Maybe you’d get something to eat, maybe you’d go dancing, go to a bar, chill at an arcade or go to karaoke.

Just do something.

Heck. Maybe you’d even fall in love.

You chuckled at yourself. “Dummy,” you said to yourself. You smacked your cheek lightly. “Been reading too many romance novels, watching too many dramas.” You sighed, shoving your hands in your pockets. You shrugged, ignoring the people rushing past you, busy with their own lives.

You stared up into the night sky, tilting your head a little at the moon while you stopped at a crosswalk. For some reason, this scene felt familiar. It felt like deja vu, even though you were sure it’d never happened before.

You shook your head at yourself. “Dreaming a little too much, maybe?” you wondered aloud.

Suddenly, there was a deafening honk of a car horn.

You gasped, jumping back a little from the edge of the crosswalk and looking hurriedly left and right, your breath quickening.

There was screech and skid, followed by more car horns. Some angry yelling, too. That was when you noticed the man. In the middle of the street. He was stumbling his way across the road (during a green light), a bottle of soju held tightly in his hand, the foggy green recognizable anywhere.

He was tripping over himself every few seconds and you couldn’t quite tell if her was laughing like a maniac, or crying like a child. All you knew was that you were frozen, eyes wide and mouth gaping.

“Are you insane?!” you heard someone shout, leaning out of their car window. “Get out of the frickin’ road!”

You noticed the mystery man—drunk out of his mind—had come to almost a complete stop, trying in vain to pick himself off the ground. He was still making the same mildly pathetic noise as he had been before.

Without a second thought, you raced forward into the street, waving apologetically to the stopped up drivers. “I’m sorry!” you called, bowing to them quickly.

A woman rolled down her window. “Just get him out of the road, thanks,” she said. Though she sounded a little snappy, you still appreciated the fact that she tried not to sound too annoyed.

You nodded to her before turning back to the man. He seemed to have given up on trying to stand, just flopping flat on his front and muttering slurred words into the pavement.

You touched his shoulder gently. “Sir, are you all right?” you asked, trying to put on your softest of tones. He just groaned in response. You clicked your tongue. “Okay, sir, let’s just try to get out of the road, okay?”

“...road?” you could barely make out. It was the least slurred thing in his entire sentence.

You nodded. “Yes, sir. You’re in the middle of the road, and people are getting very upset with you.”

He started laughing. “Woo-hoo!” he cheered clumsily, throwing his bottle up into the air. You ducked out of the way to avoid getting hit by it, and surprisingly, it didn’t shatter into a million pieces when it hit the ground.

“Getting out of the street!” he said, probably louder than he thought he was talking. “Lezzgo!” He raised his hands as if he were doing some strange arm-dance.

That lead to the first time you’d seen his face probably.

His cheeks were flushed with the pinkishness of alcohol and he had the dumbest grin on his face, puffing out his cheeks, but there was more to him than just the obvious intoxication. A familiarity you couldn’t quite place.

There was something in his floppy (currently messy and tangled-looking) black hair. The defined wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, his glass skin, the slightly wider-set jaw. The smile, too. Something in it hit a little too close to home.

A car horn honked at you, pulling you out of your daze.

You shook your head from your thoughts, grabbing the drunk man’s arm and slinging it over your shoulder, making him giggle like an idiot. As soon as you did, you felt weak in the knees.

Something came flowing into your mind, like memories were being placed there that didn’t belong to you. Or maybe you’d just had trouble remembering them before.

They were fuzzy blue memories of all those sleepless nights spent waking up worried about losing something important. And that important thing? You recognized it now.

It was the drunk man on your arm.

He was the warmth that made you feel safe and anxious about not being able to be with him anymore. He was the blur you would always vaguely remember that was taller than you by a few inches, always comforting toward you, and always left you with that growing swell in your chest.

At least, that’s how he was in your dreams.

“I suck,” you sighed to yourself. You chucked yourself out of your secondary daze and fumbled along with the man, getting him out of the road and to the cub of the crosswalk. The stopped cars were grateful, immediately going on their ways.

You basically tossed him onto the sidewalk, but he just laughed at rolled onto his back. He stared up at the sky, pointing at the moon and calling it a ‘big star’. You face-palmed. “Out of all the people you could dream of,” you said to yourself, “you chose this loser?”

At first, you thought you’d just call a cab for the guy, but then something started happening to you that was all too familiar. A cold sweat. The same feeling you got every time you woke up from your dreams, terrified that your warmth was gone forever.

So, against your better judgment, you dragged him back to your apartment with him muttering stuff to you the whole time, his breath thick with the scent of intoxication. It made you gag in the beginning, but you got used to it after a while.

When you go back to your apartment, you tossed him on the couch, took off his shoes and watched him until he passed out. That honestly didn’t take too long. Maybe five minutes at the most.

You sighed deeply, sinking down into the chair across from the couch. You glanced at the clock on the wall. 3AM. Of course it’d be that late.

You pinched yourself, trying to see if it was a dream.

It wasn’t. This was actually happening. It was actually three in the morning. You were actually letting a drunk stranger sleep on your couch. You were actually convinced that you’d been dreaming about this guy, and he was actually making you feel lighter, just by being there, even though you couldn’t place why.

You seemed to be getting back more and more pieces of your dreams as the time ticked by. There was recollections of choppy out-of-place ‘footage’, for lack of a better word, of that very night. The evening with the full moon, the night-air and the drunk man. There was even more recollections of dreams after that being crafted a little differently.

Like a conversation.

You knew you’d heard that voice before, despite the slurring. It had spoken to you before in your sleep. It’d asked you how your day was, how work was treating you and if you were eating well. It had called you beautiful before, and it has said, “I wish I could meet you”.

Goosebumps raised on your skin. You rubbed your arms to calm them. This whole situation was too haunting. Too unreal. You were convinced that you must’ve been going insane, for there’s no way that something such as that could be true. Stuff like that doesn’t happen to people.

It happens in books and movies, but not in real life.

Reality wasn’t that surreal.

But then again... If it wasn’t true, how did you know that he used to dream of being a singer? How did you know that he was exactly 175cm tall? How did you know that he was born in Suncheon and that one of his sister died?

How did you know that hurt him so much that he cried for weeks?

How did you know that he liked soccer, that his favorite colors were blue and red, or that he liked watching anime when he had time? How would you know any of that if what your mind and heart was telling you wasn’t true?

You knew this man; even though you’d never met him before. And you didn’t even know why. You had no explanation other than a dream, and that was hardly convincing to any outside source.

It was almost as if you’d been seeing life through his eyes for the past few years, but you just hadn’t remembered. You saw faces you never knew before; probably his friends and family. You did things you didn’t normally do, as if your body wasn’t your own. You ate foods you would’ve never thought of trying, just because you thought they looked strange.

Had he lived through you, too? Did he know those secrets that you tried to keep buried underneath the surface and did he know you better than you knew yourself?

Had he seen when you had the flu for almost three weeks a few months ago? Had he felt the same emotions that you felt when you were crying over silly things, like a sad dog commercial you saw? Had he felt the longing you felt when you saw all of your baby cousins growing up or your niece saying that she wanted to be just like you?

Did he see the world from your eyes, just a little bit?

Those were the thoughts that ran through your mind until birds were chirping and the early morning light was streaming in through the windows. You blinked the tiredness out of your eyes.

Had you even slept? It didn’t feel like it.

It felt like hours of your life had slipped through your fingers, but you couldn’t really regret it. Not when you saw that the man who gave off the warm feeling was still sleeping across from you, snoring quietly.

Even though you had closed your eyes for barely a second, you didn’t think you’d be able to sleep, so you just decided to go about your day like usual. Since he was there, you didn’t feel anxious, even if you had never met him face-to-face before.

It felt like you had.

In you opinion, there was nothing to be nervous about. If you were at ease with someone, there was no point in making it awkward, even if it was for a strange reason like a dream.

You made coffee and buttered toast, like you did every morning. The only difference was that you did it with the lack of emptiness that you usually had.

You kept trying to convince yourself that it wasn’t because of the presence of the intoxicated man knocked out on your couch; just because you didn’t get any sleep last night and you were drowsy as hell.

Your attention went back to said young man when you heard him whimpering. You thought he might’ve been waking up and suffering from a splitting headache, but when you looked at him, he was still fast asleep.

His brow was covered in a thin coat of sweat, same as the rest of his body.

“Bad dream?” you wondered aloud, trying to keep your voice quiet. For whatever reason, the expressions he was making were very intriguing. They kept wavering between worry, happiness, and pain.

You leaned down at his side and started shaking him lightly. “Hey,” you whispered, your brows furrowed with concern, “wake up.”

His breathing started getting faster, his eyebrows knitting together. “Don’t leave...” he mumbled as he started thrashing. “Don’t leave. Don’t leave!”

Your eyes widened. “Wake up!” you shouted, giving his arm a firm smack.

The man shot up, breathing heavily, his dark eyes finally on full display to you in the morning light. They had a thousand layers to them, and you could tell that much just from a momentary glance. Slowly, his breathing even out.

Surprisingly, a smile broke out on his face. A small, wistful smile.

He placed his hands over his chest, seemingly not having noticed you yet. “Time hasn’t passed,” he murmured softly, closing his eyes to savor whatever he was feeling. “You’re still with me.”

When he opened his eyes, that’s when it seemed to set in for him. His eyes darted from side-to-side as he took in the unfamiliar surroundings. “What the fuc—?”

“Please don’t swear in my house unless it’s absolutely necessary,” you cut in.

He nearly jumped out of his skin, and he let out a rather girlish screech. He head snapped to you, his eyes wider than saucers. “Who are you?” he stuttered out.

You stood up with a chuckle and grabbed your coffee from off the counter. “I live here,” you said simply, giving him a quick introduction and handshake.

He nodded, shaking your hand back gingerly. “Oh, nice to meet you...” he said. He gave a small bow. “I’m Park Junhee,” he said, a bit of an embarrassed flush to his cheeks. Though, you couldn’t be sure whether or not that was truly embarrassment or just left over alcohol-glow.

You gave him a bow in return. “Nice to meet you, too,” you said. “Want some medicine for that headache?” you asked, gesturing to your medicine cabinet around the corner.

“How’d you know I have a headache?” he asked, surprise crossing his well-sculpted features.

You almost snorted. “Dude, you were totally schnockered last night. There’s no way you don’t have a headache after that. How many did ya have? Four, five bottles?” you estimated.

He shrugged, seemingly becoming more comfortable with the situation. “Six,” he said. He contemplated for a second. “And a half.”

Your jaw dropped. “And you’re still alive?” you marveled. “I’ll admit, I’m impressed.”

“I’m kinda used to it,” he said.

You quirked a brow, walking around the corner to grab some hangover medicine. “Oh?” you asked. “Why do you say that?”

“Third year running alcoholism,” he replied with an under-the-breath huff. “It’s a skill.” You peeked around the corner, shooting him a look. He chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Sorry about that,” he said. “Not really sure why I told you that.”

You stood in front of him, handing him the bottle of bitter medicine. “I don’t know why you told me either, but whatever,” you sighed. “You even trying to get clean?”

He shrugged, chugging the small bottle. “Not really,” he said, finishing off with a lip smack.

“I don’t know if this is kinda personal or not,” you said, taking the empty bottle from him and chucking it in the trashcan across the room, “but why aren’t you?”

He looked contemplative. “Yeah, it’s a little personal, but since you gave me a place to sleep last night, I give you a free pass,” he said. He held up a finger, smiling in that dumb way you’d witnessed last night. “Just this once, though.”

He sighed deeply, seemingly searching his mind for the best way to explain. His fingers unintentionally swept back his bangs a couple of times. They fiddled with his sleeves, pushed them up to his elbows.

Basically anything to postpone the inevitable.

“If it’s too much,” you said, “you don’t have to. I was just curious.” You gestured to his expensive suit. “You just don’t look like the alcoholic type. If I had to guess, you’re a little rich.”

He let out a dry laugh. “Rich people can’t be deadbeats, too?” he asked.

You almost snorted, taking a long sip of your coffee. “Oh, how dare I discriminate?” you said sarcastically.

He laughed freely—a fluttery, breathy sound. “You know what?” he said once his breath returned to him. “Just ‘cause you’re funny, I give you permission to hear my life story.”

“Is that really a prize?” you asked. “For me, you’re just a drunk stranger I met last night that I let into my house out of the goodness of my heart.”

He snapped his fingers. “Exactly! And it’s because of that kindness that you will most certainly hear me out...?” he said, ending it as a question.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was giving you puppy-dog eyes.

He plopped himself down on the couch. “Maybe I’m being a little selfish,” he chuckled. “I’m itching to get it off my hungover chest.”

You quirked a brow. “At least you’re honest,” you said, sitting across from him in your stiff armchair. “M’kay. Hit me with all that piled up shit.”

He flashed a quick thumbs up. “’Kay,” he said. He hummed thoughtfully for a moment. “Well, to summarize, I’ve been stuck up on my ex for about three years.”

You felt your expression drop a little. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yup,” he said, nodding. “Can’t get her out of my head.” He gestured to his temples to emphasize the point.

You pulled your feet up to join you on the chair, trying to warm your chilly toes. “Was she that special?” you asked, not meaning to sound that bitter. Hopefully you masked it well enough. It’s not even that you meant to feel jealous; it just naturally happened, like it was in your DNA.

He rapped his fingers on the arm of the couch. “Hmm... Not really, I guess,” he said. “It’s just that she was the only girl I’ve ever loved like that, so I guess she’s a little under my skin.”

You tilted you head. “Wait, wait, wait, hold up,” you said. “Rich-pretty-boy’s never had a girlfriend before?”

He pointed to himself. “Rich-pretty-boy’s still a virgin,” he chimed in. He furrowed. “At least, I think I am.”

You almost rolled your eyes. “You don’t know?”

“Well, remember,” he said, shrugging, “I’ve been drunk for three years straight, so I mean... Anything coulda happened, y’know?”

You stood up with a huff. “I think you would’ve known if that happened,” you said. He responded with a grumble of “Well, yeah, I guess...” while you poured him a mug of still-warm coffee.

“Thanks,” he said softly, taking it from your hands, basking in the all-encompassing warmth on his fingers.

You just hummed in reply. “So,” you said, setting your coffee on the counter and flopping back into your uncomfortable chair, “tell me about this ex.”

He shrugged. “Not much to tell, really,” he said, taking a long sip of the bittersweet liquid.

“Enough for you to become a total addict,” you pointed out bluntly.

He almost choked. “Fair enough,” he said, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. He scowled at the small stain it left on the white cuff, but then he realized that he was already a mess from falling all over the place last night.

You stared at him. “Dude, you’re rich,” you said. “Just buy a new shirt.”

He waved you off. “Yeah, yeah,” he said, “I get it.” He sighed. “It’s just hard to think of where to start.” He chuckled. “Plus, I feel like I’m laying quite a lot on you for us being total strangers.”

You shrugged. “We know each other’s names,” you said. “Not strangers then, are we?”

Despite how flimsy the answer was, he accepted it without a fuss. “I suppose you’re right,” he said. He adjusted the way he was sitting. “All right then, Miss Stranger-That-I-Know-That-Name-Of; prepare yourself for the entirely too lengthy tale of my first love.”

Your mind immediately went, “The hell have I gotten myself into?”, but your heart told a different story. It said, “Let him go on, even if it hurts. If he cries, comfort him. Be his rock and his shield. Care for him over yourself”.

Strange thing to think about someone you didn’t really know, huh? Especially considering that you were never one to believe in true love, or love at first sight.

It just wasn’t practical.

But then again... Was this really ‘first sight’? Maybe first physical sighting, but you felt like you’d been seeing his soul for some time now, cheesy as that sounded.

It was while he was explaining to you all the wonderful things about his ex that you realized that maybe—just maybe—you were hoping that he would say something along the lines of, “But forget about her, this is about you. I want to talk about you, beautiful person I’ve met in my dreams”.

Though... You supposed that was unlikely.

He didn’t seem to recognize you. Would he even, or were you just a little crazy? You weren’t sure.

Would you even want him to recognize you? He was a drunkard.

Nothing good could come of that.

Yet, like all those foolish girls in movies who fall for the bad boy, you thought, “Maybe I could change him”.

+++

Two Years Later...

You pushed away Junhee’s hands that were grasping at the hem of your shirt.

“No!” you yelled, furious. “I’ve had enough!” You glared at the state of his apartment; the empty bottles scattered around and cluttering the already messy floor-space. “You keep saying you’ll quit. You keep saying you’re going clean. You keep promising me, but you’re not even trying.”

He stared up at you with those sparkly obsidian eyes, now watery with unshed tears. “But... I am trying,” he whimpered. His voice didn’t even slur. Your anger had sobered him up enough for that.

“You’re not!” you shouted, louder than you had expected to. He flinched at the suddenness of your tone. “If you had been trying, this wouldn’t have happened again and again. You keep saying, ‘As long as I’ve a friend like you by my side, I think I can move on’. Well, guess what!” You stormed towards the front door. “It’s not working.”

Junhee scrambled to his feet, blocking you before your hand could reach the faded gold doorknob.

You glared up at him. “Move,” you said coldly.

“Don’t go,” he begged softly, the dam in his eyes threatening to spill over. “Please don’t go... I keep getting better, I do,” he tried to assure you. “It’s because of you.”

Your eyes began mimicking his, though you tried to force it back. “Yet you’re like this again,” you said, your voice quieter now. That almost bothered him more. It felt like you were trying to hide your emotions from him now. Sure, your shouting voice was scary, but at least he knew how you felt.

That was better than this.

He gave you a watery smile. “You can’t leave me. Please, don’t,” he said. His tone ticked up at the end, almost making it sound like a question, though it was probably from that fact that he was on the brink of sobbing. “You’re my special person, dude. I’ve felt 100% comfortable around you since the day you scooped me up off the street.”

You didn’t look at him. You stared vacantly into the corner, taking in the trailed-in dirt and dust-bunnies. He really hadn’t been taking care of himself. You sighed. “This is why I can’t do this anymore...” you said, voice just above a whisper. “You call me your ‘special person’...”

Finally, you looked at him, taking in his swollen, bloodshot eyes and damp cheeks from his escaped tears. “But you don’t love me,” you said. “Certainly not enough to change.”

His eyes widened. “Love?” he choked out.

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, dude. Love,” the word came out laced with venom, an almost poisonous sound. “I’ve loved you for literally the past two years, and I’ve remained at the steady stand-still of ‘Forever-His-Second-Pick’,” you spat.

“You come over when your bored or drunk. You tell me lies about how you’re gonna change, you make me believe you, and then after a few weeks, you drink again.”

Your cloudy mind barely registered the tears spilling out of your eyes. “You call me your ‘special person’, your ‘soulmate’, your ‘angel’, but all you talk about is your ex.”

Your hands balled into fists. You were angry with yourself, more than anything or anyone else. You were in love with the Junhee of your dreams; not the one standing before with beer on his breath. Yet here you were, crying over him.

Jealous over his slurry, drunken words that were never about you, his best friend—just some girl that cheated on him five years ago.

“Can’t you just get over it?” you whimpered weakly. “Because if you can’t... I’m leaving. It’s too hard on my heart. I’m not strong enough for this.” As much as it hurt, every word you were saying was true.

It was too much for one person to deal with.

Junhee almost reached out for you, but he stopped himself. He didn’t want to make you hate him more than you probably already did. That’d be too forward, he thought. “Can you answer me one thing?” he asked quietly.

You sniffled and brought your arms closer to your body, hugging yourself. “Sure, whatever,” you muttered.

He paused for a moment. “Why did you fall in love with me?” he asked.

You scoffed. “You’re gonna think I’m insane,” you said.

“I’m an alcoholic,” he said. “If you told me turtles went through a third stage of evolution, grew wings and can fly now, I’d probably believe you.”

You had to stop yourself from chuckling at that. Even in this situation, he still had that hold on you; that effect. “Fine,” you said sharply, hoping that the tone would cover your almost-slip-up. It seemed to have done the job okay.

You let out a heavy sigh. “I’ve been dreaming about you,” you said. There was a certain weight lifting off of your chest after finally telling someone. “For years now, actually.” It felt like a massive secret had been revealed and finally, you could breathe easy.

Even if your feelings weren’t returned, at least they were finally out in the open.

Damn, if you had known it felt this good to be truthful to yourself, you would’ve done it ages ago. You felt like you’d just been reborn, nothing holding you back. No ties to past mistakes or regrets.

You continued on, “I’ve been seeing life through your eyes for years, probably since before you were like this,” you said, gesturing to the scattered bottles. You felt a ghost of a smile on your lips and your tears had stopped. “Your life used to be so pretty, so full of color. It made me feel warm.”

Your smile faded. “But now... Whenever I dream of you, it’s not a good dream. It’s a nightmare.” You let out a shaky breath. “Your life is so ugly and dark now. It’s cold and damp. It’s not lovely and warm anymore.”

You finally looked up at his eyes. It wasn’t what you were expecting. Though... You weren’t all that sure what it was that you were expecting in the first place.

There was something in there, like a clearing. You know that feeling when the sun peeks through the clouds after a storm and there’s that musty, nature-y smell and it just feels... Peaceful? That’s what it looked like.

You saw a light there. A flicker of life you hadn’t seen in a while, like a sparkler being spun around and around, creating sparks that fizzled out as they touched the ground; beautiful, but not setting fire to the world around it.

Your eyes widened. “Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked. You felt an unidentified swell in your chest, like the greatness of existence had just been imposed on your rib-cage. You couldn’t even explain it to yourself, let alone anyone else.

It was the feeling you had years ago, when you first started dreaming of him.

The fireworks. The sparklers.

You put a hand over your chest. The feeling was almost overwhelming. “Junhee?” you breathed out, feeling your lungs escape you for a moment.

“You’ve been dreaming about me?” he finally asked, his eyes never once leaving you.

You nodded slowly. “For years, yeah,” you said.

The light in his eyes seems to grow brighter, the feeling in your chest gaining more purchase on your soul. “I’m not crazy,” he whispered. “I’m not crazy,” he said, a little louder. His face broke into a grin. “I thought it was the booze, but it’s not! I’m not insane!” he cheered, pumping a fist in the air.

He stopped his miniature celebration. “Wait... I shouldn’t be so happy,” he said. “It got darker after I met you,” he trailed off.

Your eyes got comically wide. “What?” you stuttered out. You backed away a few steps. “What’re you talking about—?”

He pulled you in for a hug by your shoulders. “Don’t pull away, please,” he said softy, sensing your tenseness and hesitation. His hands were shaking, but the feeling in your chest didn’t go away. He was still okay.

Why were you still worried about him, though?

Maybe because, deep in your heart of hearts, you knew that the Junhee before you was the Junhee of your dreams, flaws and all. Real life wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. That’s what makes it difficult; challenging. Everyday, different and frustrating, yet rare and gorgeous. Because you are able to exist.

Maybe that’s why you were somewhat glad that he was embracing you right now. His flaws and all, your flaws and all—because you yourself were not without fault—you wanted to be seen by his eyes, held by his arms, spoken to with his words, kissed by his lips.

You wanted to exist within his life, not just his dreams.

Even if it was difficult and challenging, because that what existing is. The universe was made to be seen by your eyes, and he was the universe.

“I remember now,” Junhee said quietly. “I remember all of those flashes I saw of your life. You looking at your new dress you got for that one fancy event at work, how you make funny faces in the mirror to check your acne, that eyebrow piercing you really wanted to get.” He chuckled a little at the memory.

“I remember your dog, I remember you falling off your bike ‘cause you almost hit that postman, I remember the postcard from your friend when he went to see the Northern Lights, and you were so jealous of him.” His grip on you tightened. “I remember that I was always terrified of losing you in my dreams, so I held on too tight until you shattered and fell apart.”

You could feel him frown. “I just didn’t know who you were,” he said. “But now I know. I know now that I was bad for you, because the flashes of your life that I see in my dreams now are terrible—something from a horror movie.” He sighed shakily. “I don’t want that for you.”

You hadn’t spoken that whole time, merely ruminating on your thoughts; how you really felt. He didn’t rush you, wanting you to go your own pace.

You took a deep breath. “You feel warm again,” you finally said.

He nodded slowly. “I think I am,” he whispered back.

“Warm enough to move on?” A nod. “Warm enough to stop drinking?” A nod with no hesitation. You pulled back a little, scanning his face. “How can I trust you this time around? You’ve broken my trust so many times now.”

He hummed thoughtfully. “I have no excuses,” he said honestly. He looked you dead in the eyes. “I’m just going to have to trust in you being a good person, leading me well, and me trying my absolute best.” He caressed your cheek. “I don’t want your life to stay like those dreams... I don’t want a horror movie for you.”

You stared at him. “Oh, yeah?” you asked. “What kind of movie do you want for me, then?”

He thought for a moment. “A fantasy?” he offered. “Maybe an adventure.” He looked hopeful. “Maybe a romance, too...?”

Finally!! I got this out for you, my love!

I hope it lived up to expectations and that you enjoy it a lot, my Saturn. ^-^ I know work’s been hard, so take it easy, m’kay? M’kay. Love you!

#for saturn #a.c.e #ace #park junhee #a.c.e jun #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #kpop angst #soulmate #au #soulmate au #request #reaction #requested #kpop icons

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let-me-love-you-loki · 5 years

Text

Welcome to Oblivion--Ch. 1

Premise: Addison Holloway is setting off on the road to her future. First stop--Grand Mountain University. Of course, things don’t always go smoothly. When she meets charming football player Roman Reigns and his equally intriguing friends, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose, Addy finds out that college can get quite interesting.

Chapter 1

It had been a difficult task to convince my parents not to come with me to move in day. Home was 5 hours away—not that long in a car by yourself… but with parents… it would have felt like forever—and I hadn’t brought a whole lot of stuff anyway. Clothes of course, although I left a lot of the heavy winter stuff at home since I wouldn’t be needing it for the semester. But I had brought a lot of books and other things to make my dorm room feel a little more like home. The trunk of my Toyota was loaded down with boxes and bags and random loose items. It would take forever to get them to my room.

The parking lot by the dorm—Felton Hall—was packed with cars dropping off students and unloading stuff. I groaned and smacked my head back into the headrest. My legs were going numb, my butt was sore, and my back was killing me from being in that car for five fucking hours. Plus, I really had to pee.

I inched through the lot, avoiding random boxes and people not paying attention. Once, I thought I saw an empty spot, but when I got close, I realized there was a moped parked in it. I cursed inwardly. Things smaller than cars should not be allowed to park in car spaces. Things like that just went against the laws of the universe.

As I made my second pass through the lot, a couple of guys on the sidewalk started flagging me down. They were jeans, sneakers, and purple football jerseys with a number and Grand Mountain Rangers in gold. One of them signaled for me to roll down the window.

“Hey! Trying to get into Felton?” one of them asked, leaning on the door. He had a funny grin, a shaved head, and a tattoo behind his ear that said LOBO. “Yeah, they didn’t schedule this very well. There’s another lot over by Williams Hall, but it’ll be harder to move your stuff. If you go over there, you’ll find the rest of the team helping with unloading. Just tell them you’re in Felton and what room, and they’ll do the rest.”

“Thanks…” I said, waiting for him to give me a name.

“Corbin. Well, Baron’s my first name, but everybody around here calls me Corbin.”

I smiled. “Addison Holloway. Nice to meet you, Corbin.”

He grinned and gently tapped the inside of my car door. “Williams is one over. Out of this lot, make a left. See ya around, Addison.”

It took me fifteen minutes to get out of the lot, but once I did, I was able to find Williams Hall easily. There was plenty of parking—mostly because it was for seniors and they didn’t come back until tomorrow—and what felt like a sea of purple and gold jerseys. I parked the car and got out, feeling every muscle in my body protest at the movement. Every little sinew and bone stretched and popped and cracked as I ran my fingers through my light brown hair to pull it up. I wrapped it in a knot on top of my head so that the faded blue beneath could be seen and tied it off with a band from around my wrist.

“Jesus, I brought a lot of stuff,” I muttered as I stared through the back window. I didn’t even want to think about the trunk.

“Felton?” came a deep voice from behind me. I turned and caught sight of a tall guy with a bright smile and tattoos running down his right arm all the way to his wrist. “Is it still crazy over there?”

I nodded. “Corbin sent me over here. Said I could get some help unloading?”

“Sure thing,” the guy said. He took one look at the back seat and gestured for me to pop the trunk. I cringed as I did, knowing that it was way too much stuff. To my surprise, he shrugged and turned toward the other purple-clad guys nearby. He let out a piercing whistle and yelled, “Drew! And see if you can get my knucklehead cousins!”

The guy turned back with another big, bright smile. “What room are you in?”

Digging through my purse, I snatched at the envelope with my key card. “Room 126. Ground floor, so at least you don’t have to carry all this stuff up the stairs.”

He shrugged as three other guys appeared out of nowhere. One was ridiculously tall, broad shouldered, and barrel chested. I felt myself blush when he turned bright blue eyes on me. The other two were slightly shorter, but still taller than me. They looked like the first guy, with the same golden skin and dark grey tattoos snaking down their right arms. The three of them started pulling stuff out of the trunk and back seat, carrying two and three boxes or suitcases each.

“Trust me,” the first guy said, “we’ve carried more all the way up to the top more than once today. It’s not a big deal.”

“Thanks…”

“Roman. Reigns.” He balanced two boxes with one arm while holding out his other hand. He gestured with his head toward the three retreating figures who, incidentally, had nearly emptied out my trunk in one trip. “And those three… The big guy is Drew McIntyre. Scottish, beast on the field. Nerd off. The other two are twins—my cousins Jimmy and Jey. Don’t worry about telling them apart. I barely can.”

I nodded, not quite sure why I would ever need to tell the two of them apart. It wasn’t like I was going to be in the same building or anything. “Addison Holloway. Call me Addy.”

Roman grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Well, ‘Call me Addy,’ grab what you can and we’ll meet you there.”

He walked off, carrying the boxes as if they were practically empty. When I looked back at my car, I was surprised to find that there were just two bags left. Geeze, I thought, it’s nice to have football players around. I grabbed the bags and took off, huffing as I pulled the bags up over a slight rise that separated Williams and Felton.

***

After unpacking all my stuff and stowing the broken-down boxes in the back of the closet, I grabbed a quick shower in the bathroom that was shared with the next room. It would take some time to get used to sharing a bathroom with someone—at home, I had one all to myself. Now, it was entirely possible that three different people would be showering, using the toilet, and brushing their teeth at the sink all at the same time.

It was half past ten when I finally curled up in my bed, but I couldn’t sleep. Partly because I was hungry, and partly because there was just so much adrenaline running through me from knowing that I started college in two days. My stomach growled and gurgled, a sudden reminder that I hadn’t eaten in almost twelve hours. Sighing, I rolled out of bed, grabbed a pair of sweatpants, and tugged them on over my sleep shorts.

“If only I knew where the good places for late night grub were,” I murmured as I pulled my door shut behind me, stuffing my keycard in my pocket.

I scrolled through my phone, trying to find a fast food place. The only sound in the hallway was the click of my flip-flops and the faint tap of my phone as I tapped the keys. It seemed like all the other students who had moved in were in for the night. I wondered if that was a common thing. Grand Mountain was one of the best universities in the state. Maybe I’d gotten in a dorm with a bunch of really smart people—or just went to bed hella early.

When I turned the corner to the lobby of the building, I caught sight of a familiar face. Of course, it would have been hard to miss him since he was ridiculously tall and still decked out in the purple and gold Rangers jersey from earlier. His name drifted just out of reach for a moment, and then…

“Drew!” I’d called out the name before I’d consciously made the decision. His head snapped around at the sound, blue eyes searching the empty lobby.

He grinned, showing dimples, when he caught sight of me. He lifted his hand, said a quick series of goodbyes to the group he was with, and crossed the room in a few long strides. “Hey…”

“Sorry,” I stammered, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear nervously. “Addison. Addy. Sorry, I just… I don’t know anyone here yet, and I remembered you from earlier.”

“It’s fine,” he replied, a faint lilt to his words. “Settled in okay?”

I nodded. “Just hungry. I was wondering if you knew of any places nearby? That are within walking distance and are still open?”

“Oh, yeah. There’s a place over on the far side of Watson Hall on East Walker. Take a left as soon as you pass Watson. Two blocks down on your right. Open ‘til one every night.”

It took a moment for the directions to sink in. When I was sure that I remembered, I gave him a quick smile. “Thanks, Drew. You’re a lifesaver.”

#welcome to oblivion #prequel #prequel to lips of an angel #roman reigns #seth rollins #dean ambrose #shield #the shield #addison holloway #ofc #oc #polyamory #polamorous relationship #college au #wwe #wwe fanfiction

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fanfic-scribbles · 5 years

Text

Tie a Yellow Ribbon For Me

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Even death can’t keep him From finding his way back to you.

Quick facts: Romance – [established] Gabriel/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Angst-ish with a happy ending, many flashbacks handle it, use of ‘sugar’ as a term of endearment for a gender-neutral reader

Prompt: Written for @gabriel-monthly-challenge’s February prompt: Spin the Wheel. I landed on “A Dozen Red Roses”. Tagging @archangelgabriellives, @archangel-with-a-shotgun , @archangelsanonymous, @ttttrickster, @warlockwriter, and @revwinchester.

Words: 2459

Special Context Note: For people who might not know: “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree” was a popular song in the seventies (I think?) performed by Dawn feat. Tony Orlando (I do recommend it; it’s a good song). It’s told from the perspective of a man writing to his lover after having been away for a few years. He tells her that if she wants him still, she can tie a yellow ribbon around a certain tree and he’ll come home, but if he doesn’t see it, he’ll assume she doesn’t want him back and he’ll keep going and never bother her again.

A/N: That summary is a little more sinister than I intended. Sorry, no dark!Gabriel here. Or “The Crow” AU. (Though hm, that’s a possible idea.) This is kind of an alt S5 post-“Hammer of the Gods” where Gabriel doesn’t go to Loki et al. This is sort of similar in premise to some other stuff I’ve written so I apologize to the people who follow me. Ironically, despite the title, this story was actually written to repeat listening of “11 Minutes” by Halsey and Yungblud feat Travis Barker ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Please enjoy! (PS: In case my formatting gets fucked up, flashbacks are encompassed by tildes (~).)

You feel like you’ve gotten used to the silence.

Sure, you had periods of it before– spending 24/7 with a sometimes-manic archangel is a pre-requisite for madness– but those quiet moments without him had always felt like in-betweens. Small breaks, or minor reprieves, sometimes purposefully taken, and sometimes just waiting. Gabriel could have popped in at any moment.

Now he can’t.

You can say you’re mostly okay now. Mostly. You’ve lost before and you’ll lose again. It’s the nature of things, just being in the world as it is. Being a hunter in it means you’ll do it over and over and over again.

It doesn’t make it ache any less.

But you’re still going, because it’s what you’ve always done and it’s what you’ll always do. Right now you’re on your way to a small desert town that seems convinced it’s living out the movie “Tremors,” and going by the reports, you can see why. You feel a smile creep onto your lips. Gabriel would have found it funny.

“Have you been terrorizing a small city in Wisconsin in your spare time?” you ask and flick Gabriel with your big toe.

“Ooo, Wisconsin. Sounds like a party,” Gabriel says out loud, but the look he gives you asks, ‘Really?’ and he holds out a piece of whatever candy he’s focused on now. You trade him for the paper and take a bite while he skims the story.

He snorts and tosses it down. “Amateur. Credit for style though; there’s worse you could do than a Mel Brooks homage.”

You roll your eyes and finish swallowing. “I’m sure the three victims would agree with you, if they could.” You fold up the newspaper and set it aside from the massive stack of other regional papers that Gabriel had whined about, and yet gotten for you anyway. “I’ll head out tomorrow.”

“So you’re done working now?” Gabriel asks. He sits up and puts a piece of chocolate between his teeth, makes sure half of it is sticking out, and waggles his eyebrows.

You laugh and lean forward, bracing yourself with your hands as you stretch to meet his mouth with yours. Just as you’re about to gently bite on the chocolate, it vanishes, and Gabriel slips his tongue into your mouth instead.

Once you’ve had your fill of each other (for the moment) you can’t help how big you smile. “You’re so cheesy sometimes.”

He grins. “Sugar, you have no idea.”

You need a shower.

Badly.

You don’t feel the slime as much as you did when the constructs first exploded, but you don’t count that as a good thing, because it’s still there and you keep getting reminded of that whenever you shift. The day is dry and warm and a wind rushes across the desert landscape. When you step out of the car a strong gust blows past you and you shield your eyes until the air settles back to its steady pace. You get to your room and put your key in the lock when something catches your eye.

All down the sidewalk are cutouts in the concrete, just spaces of dirt that look like they’re supposed to be planters. Some of them have scattered cacti, but most are empty. Yours was empty, you're fairly certain, but now there’s a spindly long-stemmed something, being blown to the side and clinging to the dirt with nothing but tenacity. You kneel down to get a better look and–

it’s a rose.

Your breath catches in your throat. Not even a desert rose; a real, thorned rose, with petals that have obviously been sandblasted for a while and a thin stem that looks sickly.

But a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.

There are flowers everywhere.

Gabriel really likes this place. He’s been here for a couple of months, and it shows; every day he’s seen you (almost every single day, as of late,) he’s given you flowers– a bouquet of twelve red roses. And, as you haven’t exactly had places to put them, he has graciously offered to ‘keep them somewhere safe.’

So of course there are dozens (of dozens) of roses scattered all around the room, still miraculously alive. Heavy emphasis on the miracle.

“You're the one who said I was cheesy,” Gabriel says and sits down, but puts his drink on the side table. Champagne, of course, and he’s even wearing a ridiculous red and black patterned robe. It’s a testament to how much you like him that you are not making fun of him right now.

But you can admit you do like the roses. The petals are soft and they smell nice. You look up from your bouquet to see Gabriel smiling at you. The softness of his expression throws you off and you hide the lower half of your face in the flowers. “Why always roses?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” His smile turns all trickster. “It’s just what they have at the grocery store.”

You hit him with the bouquet hard enough that he falls off the bed. Well, his mad laughter probably helped, but you’ll still take credit for it. Asshole.

Someday, sentiment is going to get you killed.

You pick the rose anyway.

The young couple currently having their first date is pretty cute. Now that you’re not annoyed by them blocking the door, you can appreciate the beginning a new relationship. And it’s going to be one; they’re both all soft smiles and longing glances and dumbstruck lovelorn expressions. One of them keeps fidgeting with their hands, and the other shifts an enormous bouquet from arm to arm. You note the roses, of course, but it’s made up of a lot of other flowers too. It’s very pretty– and must have cost a fortune. You smile. Explains the coffee date.

“You work too much.”

“You’re a needy guy, aren’t you?” you ask and glance up from the screen. “Five more minutes, Gabriel. Then I’m all yours.”

He huffs and flops onto the table, head in his arms and pouting and grumbling enough to draw attention. You roll your eyes and, while he’s distracted, kiss the crown of his head.

He stops grumbling. But the next time you take a sip of your drink it’s like shoving pure sugar down your throat and you choke.

His smile is almost as saccharine. “I just wanted to make it as sweet as you.”

You stare at him and calmly wipe your mouth. “Twenty minutes.”

He sputters in protest.

“I’ll knock it down to ten if you walk up to the counter, wait in line, and buy me a replacement. With money.”

He starts muttering again. But he gets up.

You look at your computer and think about actually trawling for hunts, but, well, your coffee cup is empty and who can be asked to work under such inhumane conditions? You hop off the stool and almost crunch a stray rose underfoot. It must have been dropped by the happy couple by the door. As you pick it up you wonder how you’re going to interject and give it back, but when you stand, they’re already gone.

You look back at the flower. It’s truly lovely; obviously well cared for (and not just shoved in a fridge at a grocery store, Gabriel). You smile at the thought of his indignance, and set the rose on the table. It would be a shame to let it get thrown out, so you’ll take care of it.

Even at the end of the world, there are still mundane monsters to kill. You’re leaving a very shaken family with one less poltergeist and a lifetime therapy to look forward to (at least they have a have a lifetime, now,) when the youngest daughter runs up to you and holds up a rose. “Here! This is for you.”

Though you thank her and take it, the mom echoes your concerns when she asks, “Honey where did you get that?”

“I found it,” the kid chirps, like that’s all you need to know.

It’s a real rose with almost no thorns and a yellow ribbon tied around the stem. That’s an odd thing to just find. But the house has settled and you figure you can burn this and stick around for a day or two, just in case. You thank the little girl again, bid goodbye to her sisters and parents, and as you go you start to tuck the flower away when you see a small embroidered symbol on the ribbon.

An Enochian symbol.

As you speed away, you barely resist the urge to chuck that fucking flower out the window. You want to. But at the same time, you can’t bring yourself to do it.

Fucking asshole.

“I need to understand!”

Gabriel shoves you up against the wall. Not hard enough to hurt, but it does stun you– for a second. His grip is too light and his expression too conflicted for him to convince you what a ‘monster’ he is. “You’re not that kind of person,” you say and stare him down. “So why do you want me to think you are?”

Gabriel jerks, but you grab onto his jacket and yank him back in. “What are you so afraid of, Gabriel?” you whisper. “I’m the one thing in the universe you don’t have to fear.”

Gabriel leans in, close enough to kiss. Your eyes shut on instinct. Or maybe it’s Pavlovian.

“You're the one thing in the universe I have to fear the most.”

Air brushes past your lips, the pressure of his body releases, and you open your eyes to empty space.

He had come back within a day, as soon as you had asked, and said ‘I’m sorry’ in every conceivable way without ever saying it with his mouth. (Well, verbally, that is.) At the time, you figured it was fine.

And maybe it was. Now that you’ve had a few days to freak out, get your hopes up and down and all around, you feel a little calmer. You have the roses set aside and the ribbon spread out on the bed while you sit with your Enochian dictionary. Gabriel wouldn’t lead you along willy-nilly. You have faith (just a little) that this means something.

And if this does turn out to be some “Drink your Ovaltine” bullshit you are going to find out how to travel back in time so you can murder him with your own two hands.

It takes a while, but you find the word, and then use a few other dictionaries and translation sites to get it into English. You check it five times, in different ways, and then sit, chest swelling with hope that you’re not sure you can handle.

‘Healing.’

You want to believe, but a rough translation boiled down to its essential part can’t make you Mulder. You put the books away and lean back against the headboard, just trying to process, when something ‘thump!’s against your door. You grab your gun and stay alert as you check the outside area, but as far as you can see, there’s no one.

But there are three roses, piled neatly just in front of the door. You smile. Because really– you’re skeptical, but you’re not stupid. You pick them up and put the flowers to your face while you mind the thorns. You’re pretty good at that by now.

“Okay,” you say and nuzzle the petals. “I’ll wait.”

You find five more roses over the next couple of weeks in utterly random places. On your pillow. In a sewer. In your water glass after you turn away for a second. In the basket you grab at a grocery store. On your passenger seat. That last one makes you ache.

That night, when you open your book and find eight perfectly placed rose petals, you almost cry. Twelve roses. It’s always been a dozen, so that means he’s coming back, right? He doesn’t appear right away, but you go to bed hopeful.

Except he’s not there in the morning.

Or the afternoon.

Or the evening. Or…

It’s late on the third day of waiting and hope is fading fast. You hit your forehead on your steering wheel and whisper, “Where are you?” Did you misread things? Was this set up in advance? Did he mean for you to heal? Was someone messing with–

Your radio comes on without any prompting and you jolt up. You’re so busy trying to look for danger that you don’t recognize the song at first.

“–nt me, if you still want me Whoa tie a yellow ribbon round the ole oak tree…”

You blink. You stop being afraid. And start being annoyed. “Are you fucking serious?”

But the song plays on, and the volume even gets jacked up. “A SIMPLE YELLOW RIBBON’S WHAT I NEED TO SET ME FREE–”

“Okay!” You turn the radio off and sit in silence for a few moments before you burst into tears and laughter both. “Fuck; you’re such an asshole,” you say, with wet eyes and a smile full of teeth.

You consider trying to track down a bonsai or some plastic palm tree, but you’ve waited long enough. Still, when you get back to your room you go through all the motions of getting ready to go to sleep. Once you’re actually sitting on the bed, you put the yellow ribbon to your wrist and manage to tie a messy bow.

You lie down, exhausted by days of constant, immense stress, and sigh. As you drift off to sleep you think, ‘I’m ready, Gabriel.

Come home.’

It happens without fanfare. You simply wake to an arm around your stomach, and a morning still dark.

“Hey,” you say, sleep-addled.

Gabriel chuckles. “Hey.”

You’ve never heard anything so beautiful, even as rough as his voice is. “You sound tired.”

“Yeah.” Gabriel presses closer to you. “Almost getting murdered by your own brother is pretty exhausting.”

“Hm.” That’s a conversation for later. Or never, depending on how stubborn Gabriel wants to be. Either way, not now. Not when you’ve got him back. You turn over and wrap yourself around him. “It’s okay,” you say. “Go to sleep. I’ve got you.”

He gives you a wry smile, but whatever snarky way you expect him to say ‘I don’t sleep’ doesn’t happen. He shuts his eyes, and you hold tight. “I’m glad you came back,” you say. “Even if I don’t have a hundred ribbons.”

He shifts with quiet laughter. “That’s all right.” He holds your wrist and places a kiss that straddles the ribbon and your skin. “I only need the one.”

#spn gabriel #gabriel x reader #spn fanfic #spn reader insert #Supernatural fanfic #red roses #tie a yellow ribbon round the ole oak tree

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artificialqueens · 6 years

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You're A Kite, Dancing in a Hurricane. (Biadore)

Hi Guys. I was torn as to whether to continue this as I have exams upcoming but it’s a good distraction from working and the reviews we’re pretty good so I thought I would do! Please let me know if you’d like to see it continue!

Here’s a link to part one.

Wednesday marked the middle of Roy’s first week teaching at the new school. He felt as though he was settling in quite well. He was starting to warm up to some of his students as he began to understand them better and had hope that he could genuinely help at least some of them. But there was one student he wanted to help most of all. He mulled over this thought as he awaited Danny’s arrival, fifteen minutes late as usual. Since Danny had seemed far more relaxed and willing to engage in somewhat meaningful conversation, Roy was looking forwards for another forty-five minutes of light banter. When Danny trudged in, practically dragging his bag behind him, with huge dark bags under his bloodshot eyes, Roy decided he may have pre-empted his enthusiasm. Danny sat in his usual seat at the back of the room and took out the same small notebook from Monday’s detention without even acknowledging Roy. Roy stated sat behind his desk silently for a few minutes before talking.

“You okay there, chola?” Roy asked. Danny looked up and grinned at the nickname. Roy was pleased he could make him smile, since it looked like he had had a rough day.

“Just a shitty day.” Danny smiled lightly. Roy could tell that this was an understatement to say the least.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Thank fuck” Roy joked, making Danny laugh again. He started to sit up a little straighter in his chair and closed the cover of his book. Roy decided that today probably wasn’t the day for delving into Danny’s problems and so settled for trying to make him laugh insead. “Thought I was going to have to listen to some crap there.” He continued, making Danny laugh harder. “I got my own shit to be dealing with.” Danny kept laughing more and more until the unexpected happening. Through the laughs his eyes became teary. His laugher hitched in his throat and all of a sudden he was sobbing. He covered his face with his hand and turned away from Roy slightly. “Shit” Roy murmured

“Were my jokes that bad?” Roy joked uneasily. He walked over to Danny’s desk and took a seat next to him. “Was it something I said?” Roy checked. Danny shook his head no, as his sobs subsided into light shakes and sniffles.

“Sorry” Danny muttered. Roy didn’t say anything, just brought him some tissues from his desk drawer.

“Do you drive yourself home?” Roy asked, glancing out of the window at the rain. Danny shook his head. “Does anyone pick you up?” Danny shook his head again. Roy let out a small sigh. He knew that he would get some unwanted questions if he offered to drive Danny home, so resisted the urge.

“How about we wait here until the rain lets up a little and then you can leave early.” Danny nodded slightly. “Do you want me to leave you be?” Danny didn’t answer. Not wanting to push Danny to talk, Roy slid Danny’s black notebook towards him and went to sit behind his desk once more.

“Mr Haylock?” Danny said after a few minutes of silence. Roy looked up from his work in acknowledgement. “Thank you.”

Once the rain began to ease up slightly Roy told Danny that it was okay for him to leave. Danny thanked him once more and left quickly. Roy packed up his things and walked out to his car to leave. As he got to his car the rain started in full force once more and he thought about Danny walking home alone. After driving a for a few minutes he noticed Danny waking ahead of him and contemplated offering him a ride. Nobody from the school would know. And even if they did, there’s surely nothing wrong with driving a student home in the rain. Something about it felt wrong, so he decided against it. That was until he saw the strap of Danny’s bag break and all of his belongings fall out onto the sidewalk. He immediately pulled over a few metres ahead of Danny and watched in the rear view mirror as Danny stood on the sidewalk staring at his belongings looking utterly lost. It broke Roy’s heart.

Roy hopped out of his car and made his way to Danny, grabbing the umbrella from the trunk of his car on the way. Roy approached Danny gently and held the umbrella over his head, allowing himself to get rained on. Danny looked up with tear filled eyes and stared at Roy. “I don’t need help.” Roy put the umbrella into Danny’s hand and bent down to start picking up his things from the floor. Danny just held the umbrella in silence, not speaking, not crying, just watching Roy.

“Let me drive you home.” Roy said and gestured towards the car. Danny didn’t argue and walked round to the passenger side seat. Roy got into the driver’s seat and turned on the heaters but didn’t drive straight away. He passed Danny’s things back to him and he sat holding his damp belongings in silence.

“I know today might have been shitty and it feels like everything is against you, but it’ll pass, chola.” Roy smiled lightly at Danny. “I promise.” He added, for extra emphasis. Danny smiled briefly. That was a start. Roy started driving and got to the end of the road before he realised he had no idea where he was actually going. He asked Danny, who gave him directions until they arrived in a relatively nice neighbourhood. Roy looked around at the nice looking houses, wondering which one was Danny’s. “Anywhere around here.” Danny muttered and Roy shut off the car.

“Let me take a look at that bag strap.” Roy said before Danny got out of the car.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. I’ll take it home and see what I can do. You can pick it up tomorrow morning from my classroom.” Danny thanked him and left the car carrying the contents of his bag. Roy waited where he was parked to make sure that Danny got into his house safely and he watched as Danny walked away from the nice street they were on and down an alley leading somewhere else. It was very clear that Danny did not in fact live around here at all. It made Roy sad to think that Danny would want to lie about where he lived, as though that would make any difference to how he viewed him.

When Roy got home that night he sat down at his sewing machine to have a look at Danny’s bag. The tear in the strap was simple enough to fix so he decided to reinforce the strap in the weakest areas so that Danny could avoid this happening again. He looked over the main body of the bag noticing a few holes and rips and patched those up too. Feeling pleased with his work Roy eventually left the bag by the door for the morning and set about making himself some dinner. Later that night he went to bed and found himself hoping that Danny was alright and anticipating the following day when he could see him again.

—

Thursday morning rolled around far too slowly for Roy’s liking and he sat in his classroom anticipating the arrival of Danny. When he did arrive, he tried to act as though he was in the middle of something.

“Morning, chola.” Roy smiled and tossed Danny the bag. “You feeling better today.” Looking at Danny he noticed he looked a little brighter this morning.

“Yeah I’m good. Just a bad day yesterday. All good now though.” Danny smiled, baring all of his brilliant white teeth. Danny turned the bad over in his hands noticing how Roy had sewn up every little imperfection. Danny’s grin widened. he really appreciated Roy’s effort, even though it made the bag look way less punk. It reminded Danny of the time his grandmother stitched up the holes in his ripped jeans and he laughed.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to do this.” Danny said sincerely

“I know.” Roy smiled. After saying brief goodbyes Danny left the classroom with a huge smile across his face and swore to himself today would be a good day.

When detention rolled around Roy walked into his classroom ready to start his 15 minute wait for Danny to arrive when he noticed a different student sitting on the front row.

“Hey Mr Haylock.” The girl said casually, as Roy sat behind his desk. He tried not to act too disappointed that it wouldn’t just be him and Danny.

“Hello Kayleigh.”

“Is this detention gonna be, like, long? Because I have somewhere else I want to be.”

“Believe it or not sweetie, I have somewhere else I’d like to be too.” Roy laughed and the girl grinned. “Did you finish the assignment I set you in class today?” The girl shook her head. “Why don’t you start working on that and when you’ve finished it you can leave?” Kayleigh took out her notebook and started to work on the assignment. After a few minutes Danny walked in late and to his usual seat.

“Noregia, you gotta sort out this fashionably late thing you’ve got going on.” Roy said, mainly so that he didn’t seem like a pushover in front of the other student.

“Sorry.” Danny drawled, grinning. Danny took out his black notebook and the three sat in silence for a few more minutes.

“So what brings you two here today then?” He said, obviously knowing why Danny was there but not wanting to single out the other girl.

“I’ve missed like a billion English assignments or something I don’t even know.” Roy rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Maybe you should be working on your English assignments instead of mine, hey?”

“Hey Sir, you didn’t ask me why I’m here.” Danny spoke up from the back of the room. “It’s because of my whore mouth.” Danny said followed by a wink. Roy blushed bright red and Danny laughed loudly. Roy decided it would be best to let the students work in silence.

After a few minutes of working, Danny tore a page out of his notebook, crumpled it and threw it towards the front of the classroom. “Will you throw that away for me, Sir?” Danny said, followed by miming ‘open it’. Roy looked confused but unfolded the paper anyways. ‘IM BORED’ the paper read. Roy smirked.

“I’d love to help you Danny, I just don’t want to.” Roy laughed and tossed the paper back. Kayleigh laughed. Danny murmured something under his breath and went back to writing. After another minute he stood up and walked towards the trash can.

“Guess I’ll just do it myself then.” Danny said, throwing the paper into the trash with one hand and placing something on Roy’s desk with the other. Roy unfolded the paper, ‘BORED BORED BORED’, it read, with the letter growing increasingly bigger. Roy laughed and tossed the paper into the trash in a way that Danny could see. Danny playfully sulked at his desk.

Danny spent a few minutes focusing intently on whatever he was writing, then looked over to make sure Kayleigh was still working and proudly held up the sign he had made. ‘B O R E D’, it read in huge letters, decorated with pink gel pens and highlighters. Roy let out and audible laugh, which he had to fake into a cough when Kayleigh looked up. He scowled at Danny and Danny laughed.

Roy decided to get his revenge on Danny and wrote a message on a piece of paper which he folded in half four times. He got up and walked to Danny’s desk and placed the paper in front of him. “Here’s the assignment I wanted you to complete over the weekend for extra credit.” Danny grinned and unfolded the paper to reveal the message. ‘Do. Your. Fucking. Homework.’ Roy had written, perfectly neat, unlike Danny’s scrawly huge letters. Danny chortled and Roy look pleased with himself.

Danny and Roy spent the rest of the detention making faces at each other and communicating in increasingly ridiculous means. By the time Danny actually leaves the classroom Roy was blushing like a schoolgirl. This was bad. He needed a drink, but of course the only local bar doesn’t serve any alcohol, so decided to settle for calling his friends instead.

As soon as his friends answered he let out a long frustrated sigh.

“Hey Baby Girl! How you doing?” DJ asked, as him and Willam fought to be in the centre of the screen. Roy laughed and thought about how much he missed his friends.

“Confused!” He groaned.

“Girl whats wrong? Is it this little boy child you’ve got yourself a crush on?” Willam laughed hard as Roy covered his face with his free hand.

“Of course it is!” He blushed. “But I do not have a crush on him you’ve got to stop saying that!”

“So what is this thing you’ve got going on then?” DJ asked in a more serious tone. He was no idiot and he knew how much trouble Roy could get into if he was fooling around with a student.

“I’m helping him.”

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days.” Willam joked, earning a nudge from DJ.

“Look this kid is clearly going through some shit and what kind of a teacher would I be if I just ignored it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with helping a student but you’ve worked at that school for four days and our only two conversations have involved him.” Roy looked embarrassed. He knew that what he was doing was wrong.

“I know. I can’t help my feelings. I just don’t know what to do.” Roy was torn. He didn’t know how he could help Danny without his feelings growing, but he couldn’t refuse Danny help purely based on his own selfishness. He hated this.

“I think you just need to find yourself some friends. You know like something else to focus on? Maybe now you should get Grindr!” Willam grinned. Roy rolled his eyes at the mention of Grinder but considered the other part of the advice.

“Getting something else to focus on isn’t actually a bad idea. You know you guys are actually super smart when you try.” Maybe if he has some friends he would be able to gain a little perspective. Roy said goodbye to his friends and decided that he would minimise contact with Danny unless necessary and attempt to find a real bar at the weekend.

–

Friday was Danny’s last detention with Roy, hopefully if Roy could get through this hour with limited flirtation and he wouldn’t have to spend any more one on one time with Danny for a while and the flirtation would die down. Danny walked in and Roy smiled from ear to ear, this was going to be a little harder than he anticipated.

“So, do you feel reformed?” Roy joked.

“Of course.” Danny laughed.

“Will I be seeing you back in detention again soon?”

“Of course.” The pair both laughed.

“Do you want to leave early today?”

“Party!” Roy laughed at the childlike charm of Danny’s favourite word. Roy was slightly disappointed at Danny’s willingness to leave early but then considered that at 18 years old he probably had a lot better things to be doing than hanging out in detention.

“Come on then we might as well leave now.” Roy said gesturing towards the door.

“Do you have any plans this weekend?” Danny asked on the walk through the halls towards the main entrance doors to the school.

“Well, I was going to try and find something to do outside of this tiny town. Like a bar maybe? Just something normal?” Something to get my mind off you, he continued in his head.

“Well my sister performs at a bar outside of the city on the weekends. It’s dirty and small and about 30 miles away but it’s the closest thing to any kind of nightlife around here.” Roy wasn’t exactly thrilled about Danny’s sister being a part of a his plan to find something else to do, but he guessed it was better than nothing.

“What does your sister do?” Roy asked as Danny stopped to get some things out of his locker. He really should’ve just said goodbye and looked up the bar online but he decided to stay and wait for Danny to finish so that he could walk the rest of the way with him.

“She sings. And she’s pretty fucking good.” Roy laughed at Danny’s abruptness.

“So where is this bar then?”

“You’re actually going?” Danny’s eyes lit up.

“Yeah why not.” Roy said as Danny’s smile got wider. It was nice to see Danny so enthusiastic about his sister. At least it meant he had at least one good person in his life.

“Give me your hand.” Roy was confused about the request and started to blush before he realised that Danny was holding a pen. Danny took Roy’s hand gently and scrawled the address on the back of it. Roy rolled his eyes.

“Couldn’t you have written this on paper.” Roy chuckled, feeling his skin burn at the points Danny had touched it.

“I didn’t want you to forget!” Danny laughed. “You’d better go. My sister will look out for you.” Roy said goodbye to Danny, promised to go the bar that night and walked to his car. As he was driving away he rolled his window down as he passed Danny.

“Danny I forgot to ask, what’s your sisters name?”

“Adore.”

#biadore #adore delano #bianca del rio #teacher/student #tw swearing #rpdr fanfiction #yakdiah #kite #m/m au #queen au #hurricane bianca au #high school au

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