let-me-love-you-loki

[let-me-love-you-loki]

Nowhere to Run--Ch. 56

A/N: I'm probably going to get hate for continuing this story. But this is just a story about a fictionalized version of a person. So if it bothers you, don't read.

Chapter 56

            Just as Kat had predicted, Jericho refused to shut the door behind him as they all filed out of the Inner Circle locker room. That anxiety from the early days of their relationship started to press in against his ribs the moment Kat was out of sight. He wanted to stand where he could see them both, where he could keep his eyes on her and make sure that Jack Perry didn’t get within three feet of her. The sense of protectiveness was so overwhelming it nearly choked him. For a moment, he had to struggle to keep himself from bursting back into the room.

            All he could do was listen for the sound of her voice. That would have to be enough to keep him calm until he could gather her up in his arms again.

***

            I pulled myself upright, huffing and puffing as the weight of the little life within me shifted. “No, don’t offer to help, I’m good,” I snapped, an edge to my voice as I got myself up to sit. “It’s not like I’m fucking pregnant or anything.”

            Jack opened his mouth like he wanted to say something. His face flattened at the word pregnant. A sneer tipped the corner of his lips upward. I braced myself for the anger and the venom. For the proverbial slap in the face that I knew was coming. He stood with his back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. Part of me wanted to get up and smack him. At least then he’d be looking at me.

            “I’m not going to keep doing this, Jack,” I said. My head throbbed and I honestly just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep. I was starting to rethink coming back while I was pregnant. “So we need to have this conversation. We need to get this over with. I can’t deal with all of this stress and feeling like I have to look around corners to see if you’re there or walk around with an Inner Circle bodyguard.”

            “You chose to do that,” he spat. The hard edge to his voice cut through me. “You’re the one who started up with him. Jesus Christ, Kat, he’s old enough to be your dad. People are going to think he’s the kid’s grandfather.”

            The muscles in my jaw ached as I clenched my teeth. I took a deep breath and rested my hand on my belly. Jack railed against Jericho. About how I’d done something so horrible that it was unforgiveable. How I’d left California without a word to anyone. How I’d thrown years of friendship away.

            “Oh, hell no,” I jumped in. “You don’t get to talk about throwing away a friendship. The only thing I did was fall in love with someone you didn’t like. You’re the one who decided that I wasn’t worth your time anymore. So I’m not the one who threw anything away. You did that. Yeah, I should have told your mom and Sophie that I was moving—”

            Jack took a step toward me, jabbing his finger against his chest. “My mom? Sophie? You should have told me!”

            I looked toward the door, knowing Jericho was just on the other side of the wall listening. Truth was, I expected him to come barreling in the moment he heard Jack’s raised voice. Part of me wanted him to. But I was equally glad that he hadn’t. That he was letting me handle this myself.

            “Why would I have told you? You made it clear that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me. You called me a rat and a whore. You’re the reason I have this.” I pointed to the scar across my cheek, fighting to keep my voice even. I wasn’t going to get into a shouting match with Jack. Least of all because I knew I shouldn’t get myself over excited.

            “That was an accident, and you know it,” he shot back. “You were in the way.”

            I felt my spine straighten. I remembered every single second of that day. From showing up to Daily’s Place to being interrogated by Santana to the ambush by Luchasaurus. To the fight that broke out, the mirror shattering, ricocheting from the wall to slash my cheek. Getting stitches in the medical room. Crying in the night as Jack’s angry words ran circles in my head.

            “You know what,” I said quietly. There was a sense of rage boiling through my veins that was almost possible to control. “I can see that your head is still so far up your own ass that you haven’t seen daylight in months. This is useless. But I can’t say that I didn’t try.”

            My heart sank down toward my stomach at the knowledge that Jack and I wouldn’t ever be friends like we used to be. There wouldn’t be any fixing what was broken. No matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted it.

            “You can go, Jack.” My breath caught.

            I blinked hard, trying to hold back the tears that I knew would come soon. It didn’t matter to me if Jack saw that I was hurt by this, but I refused to let him see me cry. He wouldn’t see that.

            “That’s it?” Jack said with a shadow of something underneath his words. “You’re choosing that fucking prick over me?”

            I almost didn’t answer. “No. Even if it had been, you made the choice for me.”

***

            It took every ounce of self-control that Jericho had to stop himself from busting into the room and throwing Jack Perry straight out on his ass. He could see Kat in his mind’s eye, and he didn’t have to imagine the hurt on her face. He knew how much Jack meant to her, even if he himself didn’t understand it. More than anything, he just wanted Kat to be happy. If that meant having Jack Perry around, he would deal with it as long as the little punk could treat her with some respect.

            Jericho just hated that fact that, because of him, that wasn’t likely to happen.

            Before he could take another breath, Jack stalked into the hallway. He made it two steps before he turned back toward Jericho with a sneer on his face. “This is your fault. You fucking took her from me.”

            Jericho stayed quiet. He did nothing more than stare him down as he had his little temper tantrum. If he’d had his suspicions before, he was certain of them now. Jack Perry was completely in love with Kat. Everything about the way he acted radiated it. There was no hiding it anymore. It was a wonder that Kat didn’t see it.

            Or maybe she did.

            Just maybe she did.

            After a tense moment, Jack swore and turned on his heel. Jericho didn’t even let him get out of sight before he slid through the doorway. Looking back over his shoulder, he saw Santana, Ortiz, and Jake take up positions as if they were bodyguards. Sammy had disappeared.

            Kat was sitting up on the sofa, one hand on the curve of her belly and the other over her eyes. She didn’t look up when he sat down beside her, but she did lean against his shoulder. Jericho wrapped his arms around her and sighed.

            “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I’m so sorry, Kat.”

            She took a deep breath and pressed her face against the curve of his neck. She wiped her eyes and let her free hand settle on his knee. Jericho laced his fingers with hers and pressed a kiss against the top of her head.

            “Whatever happens, I’m not going anywhere.”

            “I know,” Kat whispered back. “I know.”

            She drew his hand over to her belly so that he could feel the gentle motions of the baby. He smiled, a tinge of sadness in it. He couldn’t stop himself. “He’s in love with you, Kat. You know that, don’t you?

***

            I closed my eyes against the tears that threatened to spill out. It was the one thing I didn’t want to think about, not now. Not when I’d watched the best friend I’d ever have just walk away. Probably for good this time. There was no question in my mind that Jack Perry hated me with everything he had now. Nothing was going to fix this. And everything… everything was going to be different from this moment on.

            “Please,” I plead softly. The fresh ache of losing Jack had settled deep behind my ribs. I couldn’t let him see it. I just couldn’t. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

            Jericho’s chest expanded with his breath. He circled his arms more tightly around me, practically drawing me into his lap. His entire body was filled with tension. I could feel it bleeding into me, twisting my stomach into knots until I felt like I was going to be sick.

            I sensed him open his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, he just smoothed my hair back from my face and rubbed my back gently. I tried to breathe. To settle myself into something that resembled calm. My head started to swim, and I was sure for a moment that I was going to pass out. If I hadn’t already been sitting down, I might have.

            “I know it’s hard, sweetheart,” he said gently. I tried to focus on the gentle pressure of his hand on the center of my back. “Give it time. Let’s go home.”

            The thought of home made my chest ache in a whole new way. I wanted our bed, our living room, the view of the water from the deck. I wanted the room that he’d been painstakingly turning into a nursery. I wanted that sense of feeling safe. Of being safe.

            But then I looked up and saw the Inner Circle hovering just outside the door. I didn’t see Sammy, but the other three were there. They were watching with concern painted over their features. It was an odd thing to see on Jake.

            “No,” I whispered back. I sat up straight and wiped my eyes. I drew in a deep breath. “If I run away now… if I run away again… he’s won. He’s pushed me out once, I’m not going to let him do it again.”

            Santana grinned, crossing his arms over his chest as he laughed. “There’s my girl.”

------------------------------------------

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

Take Me to the Barn

“Em?” Adam’s voice filtered through the house. It made my heart skip a beat after so many days of quiet.

            “In here,” I called back softly from my place on the sofa. It had been so long since I’d seen him, and I must have fallen asleep waiting to hear the truck in the drive.

            Adam appeared around the corner; his curling sandy hair tied back at the nape of his neck, and blue eyes tired as he sat a backpack against the wall. A small smile curled his lips as he stood there looking across the living room at me. I watched his wide chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath.

            “It’s bad, isn’t it?” I said quietly. My eyes flicked past his broad shoulder, searching for the other person hiding behind him. “Come here, honey.”

            Dark haired and blue eyed, Mattie Jackson slipped out from behind my husband. She was pale and thin, dark circles beneath her eyes and hollows in her cheeks. Her clothes seemed to hang off her—sweatpants that were tied tight around her waist, a hoodie that swallowed her whole. My heart sank into my stomach at the sight of her.

            I held out my hand. My goddaughter curled into a ball beside me, hiding in the space against my ribs. It wasn’t until I put my arms around her that I realized how frail she’d become. I could feel the sharpness of her bones beneath her skin. I glanced up at Adam, trying to read the severity of it all in his face. What I saw made my blood run cold.

            Adam crossed the room in a few strides. He leaned over and pressed a kiss against my forehead. He lingered as if he wanted to memorize me. I watched my husband fold himself into a sitting position in the floor by Mattie’s side. The lines around his eyes, the way his mouth tightened as he looked at her, it made fear run down my spine as my imagination went mad thinking about what had happened to her in California.

            No sooner had Adam sat at her feet than Mattie crawled into my lap, tucking her head against my shoulder. I felt her take one deep breath and then tears started to flow. Her sobs were silent, but heavy and heartbreaking. I wrapped my arms tightly around her, cradling her head and slipping my fingers soothingly through her hair.

            “It’s okay, honey,” I murmured against her sobs. “It’s okay.”

            She sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. Her sobs seemed to tear through her. “It’s not. It’s my fault. I can’t, Em,” she whimpered. “It’s too hard.”

            “Shh,” I cooed as I rocked her back and forth. She curled closer, her tears dampening my shirt. “It’s okay, Tea. You’re not doing this by yourself.”

            I looked up at the soft whisper of Adam’s voice. “You can stay here as long as you want. I promised your Momma that I’d make sure that you were okay and taken care of. I’m sure Em would be happy to have someone else around the house when I’m gone.” He reached up and settled his hand on Mattie’s knee. “I need some help with the horses, too.”

            Adam smiled softly at me. There was a deep sadness behind it.

            It wasn’t until later that night that I learned the whole truth of what had happened in California at the Jackson compound.

***

            “He won’t come here,” Mattie snapped, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared across the corral at the large black horse.

            Bear had been on the farm for about a month after Adam had found him abandoned in a field. He had been so thin that we weren’t sure that he would survive. He was skittish around people, and it wasn’t hard to see that he’d been abused by whoever had owned him before. Scars were visible beneath his coat, causing thinner spots in his thick coat. It had been weeks before he would trust either of us to come close. But with patience and care, he’d finally learned to trust us enough to eat and gain weight. He would still hide at the back of his stall when we brought through hay and water, but at least he’d started eating.  

            Adam shook his head and stepped up beside Mattie. He’d taken her out to get fitted for a pair of cowboy boots and made sure she had clothes that were okay for the barn and corral. Her dark hair was pulled up in a ponytail that was pulled through the back of her baseball cap.

            “You have to be patient,” Adam said gently. I sat on the fence with a book, one that I’d been meaning to read for ages now. “He’s not had an easy time, Tea.”

            Mattie huffed and took a few steps toward Bear. Her shoulders were squared, back straight, her entire body radiating fear and frustration. It took half a second for the horse to recognize it and skitter backward. He stamped the ground with his front hooves, kicking up clods of dirt.

            “This is stupid,” Mattie said as she stamped her feet in perfect imitation of the horse. She pouted. “Why are you making me do this? He doesn’t like me, and I don’t want to be here.”

            I looked up in time to see a flicker of hurt run across Adam’s face. He ran his hand roughly over his beard and then back over his curling hair. He tucked his hands into his pockets and rocked onto his heels.

            “You wanna go home then?” he asked with a firm, quiet voice. I knew from his tone that he didn’t want her to go. And I knew deep in my heart that she needed to stay with us, to heal whatever happened to her.

            She stared at him with wide, almost terrified blue eyes. “Are you kicking me out?”

            Adam took two quick strides toward her and pulled her against his chest. Mattie wrapped her arms around his waist as he held her tightly. His chin rested atop her head; his eyes squeezed shut with pain for our goddaughter. Half a second later, her shoulders fell, and her deep, heavy sobs echoed through the yard. I made a move toward them, but Adam shook his head.

            “No,” my husband assured her. “We aren’t kicking you out. You know better than that. But you can’t just mope around here and think it’s gonna get better. We gotta work at it, Tea. We gotta work and be patient. Just like we do with Bear.”

            Mattie hid her face against Adam’s shirt. Even from where I was, I could see her take deep breaths of the fabric. I smiled. There was definitely something soothing about Adam’s scent.

            “There’s something wrong with me,” she groaned, her voice still thick with tears. “It’s all my fault.”

            “You stop that right now, Mattea,” he snapped. It wasn’t angry. Firm, edged with a little disappointment. He knew she didn’t mean it, even if that was how she’d been feeling for weeks on end. Adam hadn’t told me everything that had happened, but I knew enough that it scared Jon Moxley so shitless that he’d driven from Vegas to Rancho Cucamonga in two hours. God knew, it had to be bad. “There’s nothing wrong with you at all. And if Nick put that in your head…”

            Mattie’s shoulders shook with sobs. “No. No…”

            My heart clenched in my chest as I watched him cradle her as if he could protect her from the world. I’d known from the moment I’d fallen in love with Adam Page that he had the biggest heart in the world. That he’d be an amazing father. I suddenly saw it with my own two eyes.

            “What those girls said to you, Tea, and what they did. None of that was your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Your Momma shouldn’t have shut down on you like that. And your dad sure as hell shouldn’t have walked out on you.” Adam clutched her closer, his grip on her fierce. “Sometimes people are mean and selfish. Sometimes people hurt those around them to make themselves feel better.”

            Her voice came out faint and small. “Is that what happened to Bear?” I watched her lift her head just a little and saw her bright blue eyes watching the horse over Adam’s broad bicep.

            My husband visibly relaxed a bit. His hold loosened as he pressed a kiss to the top of Mattie’s head. “Something like that. The people who had him before us didn’t take care of him. They treated him badly. And now he’s afraid of people most of the time. He’s afraid of the other horses. Of Skipper, too.”

            Skipper was the border collie that Adam had found wandering the road almost a year ago. His fur was matted, he was practically skin and bones, and he looked like he’d been without a home for a while. The sight had broken Adam’s heart. I went to work one morning and then came home to find my husband on the kitchen floor with the dog across his lap and a bowl of Fresh Pet wet food beside him. He was feeding him slowly, one morsel at a time. Earning his trust.

            Now Skipper went wherever Adam did. The dog was right on his heels from the house to the barn, the fields to the river. He napped in the sunlight on the porch while Adam and I rocked in our Cracker Barrel red cherry chairs. He slept on the end of the bed when Adam was home and on his pillow when he wasn’t.

            I watched my husband crouch down and let out a quick whistle. The collie came loping out of the barn, sending Bear skittering back toward the fence again. Mattie scratched him behind the ears when he came close, an almost smile appearing on her face. She settled her forehead against his and kissed his snout. My heart squeezed hard at how she seemed to release something.

            It was one of the things I loved most about Adam Page. He had a gift for fixing broken things.

            Adam tapped her on the shoulder and pointed toward Bear, murmuring something to our goddaughter. Mattie stood up, straightened her shoulders, and took a few cautious steps toward the horse, who took a nervous half-step in return.

___________

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

... Ready For It?--Ch. 3

Chapter 3

            I could still hear my mother calling my name, even as I hurried ahead of Wardlow. I’d known that going with the surprise heel turn was going to mess things up with my family until I could explain, but I hadn’t anticipated wanting to get away from them. They’d understand. I knew it. Dad and Papa would understand why I’d done this, why I’d kept it from them. Nikki would understand, too. Eventually.

            Fear slipped into my stomach. What if they didn’t? What if they decided that I’d gone too far by stabbing them all in the back for a storyline that I hadn’t warned them about? My heart clenched in my chest, snatching every molecule of air from my lungs. I came up short, gagging and gasping for breath.

            Wardlow practically ran into my back, knocking me forward. My body moved on instinct, trying to turn around and take the bump on my back and shoulders rather than my hands and arms. I closed my eyes, tucked my chin into my chest. Instead of hitting the ground, a pair of muscled arms wrapped around my middle.

            “Easy, easy,” Wardlow said, his voice rumbling through his chest. The hand holding the car keys from Aunt Kat dug into my stomach. The discomfort was enough to drag me back into the here and now.

            It took a moment for me to get settled back on my feet. The momentary wave of doubt had become a leaden weight attaching itself to my guts. It was like telling Papa that I wasn’t his daughter. What I’d chosen to do in that ring tonight had changed my family forever.

            I was just too much of a coward to stick around right now and find out.

            “You okay?” he asked. There was a mixture of concern and surprise in his voice. I suppose you didn’t get tackled and kissed on live television every day. “If we’re running, we better run. Your mom is still coming.”

            The words jumped through my brain, kickstarting the panic in my chest. “Let me go,” I shouted, struggling against the hold of his arms. “Give me the keys and let me go!”

            His arm hitched around me tighter as he let out a faint laugh. I barely registered the fact that he had wrenched me completely off the ground and was jogging toward Aunt Kat’s car. The taillights flashed as the key fob pressed into my ribs.

            “Mattea Kourtney!” Mom’s voice echoed through the parking lot. It felt as if it were coming from everywhere all at once. The first tears started to burn in the corners of my eyes.

            “Come on,” he grunted as he dropped me on my feet at the passenger side. Wardlow yanked the door open so hard that I was afraid it was going to rip off. Before I could think, he’d practically shoved me into the car. “Buckle up.”

            Once second, Wardlow was standing beside me on my right. The next he was squeezing his huge frame behind the steering wheel on my left. He swore and fumbled for the lever beneath the seat, letting it click back as far as it would go.

            Mom’s face appeared between the cars two rows over. She couldn’t miss the car, not now that the engine was running and the lights were on. “Hurry! Hurry! Let’s go!”

            Wardlow snapped his head around to face me, even as he threw the car into gear and practically skidded out of the spot. “Hey, you’re the reason I’m taking off like I’ve robbed a bank or something. I didn’t wake up this morning with the plan to be your getaway driver!”

            I heard her call my name one more time before we peeled out of the arena parking lot and onto the street. The tires squealed as Wardlow turned the corner. Horns honked as cars swerved around us. I closed my eyes and focused on the sound of the engine. I’d been in Aunt Kat’s car enough to feel comfortable by the faint rattle of the car seat in the back.

            “So,” Wardlow said after several minutes of uncomfortable silence. “That was… honestly, what was that?”

            I sighed and practically put my head between my knees. The sight of Papa’s blood on my Nike made me want to vomit. “A bad idea. That’s what it was.”

            My stomach clenched and I had to clamp my lips together to hold back the feeling of nausea. I breathed hard through my nose until the feeling lessened. “It was Bub and Max. Really, it was Bub. He talked me into it.”

            “Bub?” I could hear his arched brow.

            “Tony.”

            “Oh. Your family seemed pretty surprised,” he replied. I could feel him looking at me from the corner of his eyes. “Angry. They seemed angry. Pissed even. Furious.”

            “You don’t have to go through the whole thesaurus, I get it.” Bile settled in the back of my throat. “Because I didn’t tell them. Nobody knew except me, Bub, and Max.”

            The quiet settled again, heavy and stifling.

            “I feel bad enough,” I spat after a few minutes. “You don’t have to judge me, too.”

            “I didn’t say anything.”

            My face burned. I could feel a simmering anger start to rise into my chest. “You don’t have to. I can sense your smug disdain.”

            “Hey,” Wardlow growled, swerving the onto the shoulder and slamming on the brakes. The top of my head smacked into the dashboard. I swore under my breath. Drivers laid on their horns as they passed, a few even throwing up the finger at us. He threw the car in park and turned toward me. “You’re the one who came rushing at me in front of several thousand people. You’re the one who got me into this mess and dragged me out of the arena with your mother literally screaming behind us. So don’t act like you have this great moral high ground, Mattie Jackson.”

            “Take me back, then! Take me back.”

            “No!”

            We sat glaring at each other. Wardlow’s eyes were dark and somehow seemed to be sparkling. The set of his jaw made him look almost menacing. I couldn’t make my brain slow down long enough to understand why he was acting this way. The quiet went on and on, the only sound was the heavy sound of our breathing.

            Without a word, he turned away and pulled back out onto the road. He had a white-knuckle grip on the wheel. He kept his eyes straight forward and his jaw set. I settled back against the seat and closed my eyes. My heart felt like it was going to burst straight out of my chest it was beating so hard.

            The real weight of what I’d done—how I’d betrayed my family on national television—crashed in at once. Papa’s blood was on my shoes. I’d superkicked Nikki so hard that I’d knocked her out, even if I didn’t mean to. Dad had looked at me like I’d completely broken his heart. And Mom… Jesus Christ, Mom was going to kill me when she finally got her hands on me. My parents would probably go after Bub for all of this, too. For all I knew, they already had.

            When the first tear came, it brought with it a flood. At first it was a silent sort of crying. Tears running down my cheeks in rivulets while I tried desperately to catch my breath and get a grip. After a few moments, I gasped and doubled over, falling into a complete and total ugly cry that filled the small space between us. Time stopped. I didn’t know how long it had been since I’d ran from the arena to get away from the consequences of my decisions.

            A gentle hand settled on my shoulder. I sat up and looked toward Wardlow, knowing full well that my face was red and puffy from tears. I sucked in a breath, trying to keep the ugly snot cry from getting any worse.

            “Come on, Little Jackson,” Wardlow said, his voice surprisingly soft. It was then that I realized that we had stopped in the parking lot of a Waffle House. “Things always look better after some loaded hashbrowns.”

_______________________

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

Everything Has Changed--Ch. 28

Chapter 28

Nick

            “No. No effing way,” I snapped at Matt as we stood beside my Nissan in the parking lot of LAX. “You can go without me.”

            Matt rolled his eyes and banged his forehead against the roof of the car a few times. “Nick, come on. We don’t scratch, and we’re booked for a trio. You’re going to have to get over it eventually.”

            “Like hell I do!”

            “What are you going to do, avoid Kenny forever?”

            Anger flared up in my chest and I shoved away from the car. I laced my hands over my head, tugging down on my Clippers hat. What did Matt expect me to do? He hadn’t been there. He hadn’t seen what Kenny had done to Shaye. He had no fucking clue how she’d completely broken when she’d seen Kota come out that door. My brother knew that Kenny could have a selfish streak, and there was no doubt that he was so absolutely enmeshed with Kota Ibushi for the rest of his life.

            Behind me, Matt let out an exasperated sigh. “Help me out here, Nick. I don’t understand how it was so bad that you’re willing to bust up the Elite. To end the Young Bucks.”

            “I never said I wanted to stop wrestling with you!”

            A pressure started to build up behind my eyes.

            “It’s pretty much the same thing, man. The three of us said we’re going to do this together,” my brother said with a forced calm. “If the Elite are over, what’s the point?”

            My teeth clenched, and I swear I thought I was going to scream. I tugged on the brim of my hat and paced along the paint line beside the car. The longer it went, the more I felt as if the whole world had turned against me. That no matter what things he’d done, Kenny Omega would always be able to get away with anything.

            I threw up my hands. “Okay then. If that’s how you see it, then fine. I’m done.”

            Matt’s eyes went wide, almost as if he couldn’t believe that I’d actually said the words. “What? Nick…”

            “No. I’m out. You and Kenny tag together. I’m sure you’ll be fantastic.” The words dripped in sarcasm as they fell out of my lips. I shoved my way past him and yanked the door open. “Find your own fucking way home.”

            Before Matt could say another word, I started the car and peeled out of the space. Maybe it wasn’t fair to leave him in the middle of the parking lot at LAX. But just then I didn’t care. It was me or Kenny. And it looked like my brother—my best friend—had chosen Kenny.

***

Shaye

            It was sickening how easy it was. I wanted to hate myself for every breath I drew because I’d fallen back into this rhythm with Kenny within a matter of days that made me feel somehow sick inside. Dirty. As if I were doing something horrible.

            Damon hadn’t spoken to me since that night I caught him sneaking out his bedroom window. He wouldn’t even look at me. I knew with every fiber of my being that I’d let him down. That I’d turned out to be what he thought I was—just another extension of our parents who looked at him and saw him as a screw up. It didn’t matter that I didn’t really think that way. My brother had convinced himself that I did, so there was no changing it. Damon Walker was as stubborn as traffic in midtown at rush hour.

            “Do you know when you’re coming back here?” I asked, absolutely hating the whining neediness in my voice. I sank beneath the covers on my bed, pulling them up to my chin.

            “This weekend. I’ll be in California for a couple shows with the Bucks,” Kenny replied in that smooth, low tone of his that felt like sinking into a steaming hot bath. There was still something about him—even knowing everything that had happened and every lie that he’d told—that could ease me down to my bones.

            I sucked in my breath at the mention of the Young Bucks. I’d pretty much cut off contact with Nick Jackson after the last time we’d spoken. It wasn’t fair to him, whatever this was. “Oh, awesome.”

            “Why? Do you want to come?” It wasn’t hard to imagine that he didn’t sound very enthusiastic about that prospect.

            “No!” The word came out in a half croak, half scream. “I mean, it’s okay. I have work anyway.”

            Kenny chuckled, and I felt a shiver rush down my spine. Like someone had dropped ice in the back of my shirt. “Don’t want to see me?” When he spoke again, his voice was hard. “Or don’t you want to see Nick?”

            “I…” My heart dropped into my toes. I thought I was going to vomit. “I…”

            The laughter that came down the line was dark and heavy. I’d never heard his voice like that. “Shaye, are you hiding something?”

            My guts turned inside out. I couldn’t breathe. My mouth was dry, filled with cotton and sandpaper. I gagged as I tried to suck in air to keep from throwing up.

            “I… I’m… I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I whispered, too afraid to speak any louder. Tears burned the back of my eyes. “I just can’t. I can’t come to California.”

            “You weren’t invited anyway,” he said flatly.

            I squeezed my eyes shut as the world started spinning beneath me. The words were so angry, so hurtful. It felt like he’d slapped me. “I know.”

            Kenny took a breath, almost as if he had to work up the patience to stay on the phone with me. Who is this person? I thought. This isn’t Kenny.

            “Come on, Shaye,” he said at last, his voice returning to something resembling his normal timbre. “I’m messing with you. If you don’t want to come, you don’t have to. It’s okay.”

            A piece of the knot in my chest let go, but there was still a sense of ice and lead deep in my stomach. I hated myself for this. For how easy it had been for him to drag me back, even if I’d walked right back into the fire of my own free will.

***

Nick

            “What the hell did you do?” Sam screamed at me from the other end of the phone. “Why am I driving to fucking LA to pick Matt up because you left him in the parking lot of the airport?”

            I rolled my eyes and thought about throwing the phone out the window. “Sam, I really need you to stop calling me and yelling. Or just yelling in general.”

            “Don’t cop an attitude with me, Nick Jackson,” she growled. “I had to leave the studio after I’d just back varnished a brand-new canvas to drive to LAX through traffic to pick him up. You are not going to talk to me like that.”

            “I’m not doing this. Not right now, not later, not tomorrow.” My head throbbed. I was more exhausted than I could ever remember being after a loop. “I just want to go home and crash. Please, leave me alone.”

            She went quiet for maybe the first time since I’d known her. The silence stretched for several minutes, so long that I thought the call had dropped. Then I heard her voice, sharp as glass. “Okay. Fine.”

            Then she hung up.

            I slammed the heel of my hand into the steering wheel and swore as I threw my phone into the passenger seat. This day just kept getting better and better.

________________________

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

Yours to Tame--Ch. 7

TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC ABUSE

Chapter 7: After Rampage (Still)

            “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Sammy hissed as he stalked into the room. The sound of my heart monitor beeped with an ever-quickening pace. I felt nauseous. Terror swept through me. I thought I was going to wet myself.

            “What are you doing here? Get out!” Anna shouted as she stepped into the space between me and Sammy. “Go! Before I call the cops.”

            Sammy sneered and reached out. His hand landed hard on Anna’s shoulder, pushing her deftly aside. Her foot caught on the wheel of my IV stand, and she went tumbling. There was a sickening sort of thud as her cheek contacted the side of the chair by the bed. I wanted to look. I wanted to make sure that my best friend was okay, but I was too terrified to look away from Sammy. I knew that if I did, whatever beating he had in mind for me just then would only get a thousand times worse.

            “Get up,” he said through his teeth. His fingers flexed at his side. He wanted to hit me. He wanted to grab me by the hair and drag me out of the hospital. He wanted to yank me from the bed so hard that there were fingerprint bruises on my biceps for weeks. I watched his eyes flash with rage at the knowledge that he couldn’t. Instead, he snatched up the clothes I’d been wearing at the arena and threw them at me. “Get dressed. We have a flight to catch.”

            The sound of the heart monitor was so loud in my ears. It was like I couldn’t hear anything else. It was the only sound left in the whole world. Any moment now my heart would tear straight through my ribs and flop onto the floor. Vomit crawled up the back of my throat and my fingers trembled as I tried to separate out the clothes clutched against my chest.

            “My God, you’re so stupid, Morgan,” Sammy spat as he yanked the clothes from my fingers. Fabric tore as he found the shirt and shorts. “Here. Now get dressed.”

            I watched him take a step backward, and for one brief moment thought that he was going to step outside or at least turn away. Even though I knew better. Even though I knew that there was nothing in Sammy Guevara that would afford me any sense of dignity. I was still stupid enough to have hope.

            “Don’t you dare,” Anna said from the floor. The linoleum squeaked as she pushed herself to her feet. “If you lay one finger on her I will personally rip your guts out.”

            Sammy turned toward Anna, a faint grin spreading over his face as he watched her struggle to regain her balance. A flash of worry burned through me. Had he given her a concussion, too?

            “I’m sick of you always being in our business, Jay.” He took a step toward her before he changed his mind. He shoved my shorts at me. “I thought I told you to get dressed.”

            I could feel my shoulders slump as my body curved in on itself in any attempt to make myself invisible. My fingers shook as I took the shorts from him and pulled them on under the hospital gown. A wave of nausea rolled through me. I clenched my teeth together to keep from puking. The world tilted around me.

            Vice-like fingers gripped my jaw. The pain momentarily jerked me back to reality. Sammy squeezed hard. I knew there would be bruises later.

            “Ahem,” Anna cleared her throat from the doorway. Without either of us knowing, she had slipped away and gotten a nurse. And hospital security.

            Sammy’s face blurred with something between rage and resignation. As if he could sense that there were others behind him besides Anna. Something brutal slipped into his eyes before he turned around.

            “Excuse me, sir, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the security officer said. I glanced up and fought the urge to cry in gratitude. “Please come with me.”

            Sammy’s voice took on that quality he had when he was trying to make himself look good. “I’m sorry? I’m just here to pick up my girlfriend. She’s being discharged.”

            The nurse crossed her arms and stared him down like she had no fear. “No, she isn’t. She’s staying for several days for observation.”

            I felt the anger as Sammy’s muscles tightened in rage. He hated being challenged, much less by a woman. “I was told she was being discharged. Just a bump on the head.”

            The security officer stepped forward, placing himself square in front of Anna and the nurse. “This is your final warning, sir. Come with me or we will call the police.”

            “Of course,” Sammy said, his voice dripping with false sweetness. He turned back toward me and cradled his hand behind my head, leaning down as if he were going to give me a kiss. His fingers tightened against the spot where he’d cracked my head against the wall. There was venom in his voice when he spoke, low enough the others couldn’t hear. “When you leave here, we’ll have a talk about your behavior, Morgan.”

***

            “Why is it so hard to find a hospital?” Bryan swore from behind the wheel of his rental car. Moxley sat in the passenger seat, head back and eyes closed. “You’re a shit navigator, Jon.”

            Moxley chuckled but didn’t look over. “This thing has a GPS in it. You know that, right?”

            “Fuck off.” The words came out with a razor’s edge of frustration, even if they were a little affectionate. Bryan had a sense of dread in his chest. It had taken them forever to get Doc Sampson to tell him what hospital they’d taken Morgan to. In the end, it had been Bryan basically breaking down about the guilt he felt that convinced the head of AEW medical to spill the location.

            “It’s right there,” Moxley said, pointing in front of them even without opening his eyes. “Next left.”

            Bryan hit the steering wheel with the heel of his hand. “You know where we were going the whole time?”

            “You needed time to cool off. Otherwise, they would have thrown you out.” Moxley stretched out as far as he could in the cramped front seat, reaching out to crack his knuckles. “Now. You’re going to behave in there. And if that little shit is in there, we’re going to say hi to Morgan and turn right back around—”

            “Like hell we are!” Bryan shouted at his friend.

            “—and plan his murder,” Moxley finished, his brow heavy with a hateful frown. “If Tony lets me in the ring with that motherfucker, I’m going to break his neck. Not like Edge neck but break it so he can’t ever walk again. In a wheelchair being spoon fed by an ugly Russian guy for the rest of his life. No coming back from it broken.”

            As they got out of the car and walked toward the entrance of the hospital, Bryan slapped him hard on the shoulder. “I really do like the way you think.”

***

            Anna stretched out on her side in the hospital bed beside me. The nurse had been furious when she’d learned what had happened with Sammy. She’d checked Anna for a concussion or any other injury and then gave me something to calm my nerves. A little while later, the security guard came back and told me that Sammy had been barred from the building.

            “I wish I could make this go away,” Anna said quietly. She reached out and touched the curve of my jaw where Sammy’s fingers had left vivid red marks. I saw her eyes flick up to my hairline, where a series of scars were hidden by my hair. “I wish I could make him go away.”

            It felt like the world was moving slowly. I blinked and it seemed like I’d fallen asleep for years. “He’ll never go away,” I slurred. “It’s going to be like this until he kills me.”

            My head felt heavy and thick. It was so hard to think. “Soon,” I whispered as something like sleep started descending over me. “It’ll happen soon.”

***

            Moxley got to the door first. As furious as he was with Guevara, he knew that Bryan was thermonuclear. It was in both of their best interest for him to be the one to do the recon work to ensure that neither of them ended up in jail. He knocked softly resting his shoulder on the wall beside the door. He stood where he could see inside, ready to block Bryan from jumping Guevara the first chance he had.

            He let out a heavy breath when Anna Jay was the one to answer the door. “What do you think you’re doing here?” she asked incredulously, her voice a low hiss.

            Bryan appeared by Moxley’s shoulder and leveled a look at Anna. Anna stepped aside.

_______________________________________________

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

An apology to the loyal people who follow me. Warning: read the tags!

To all of my lovely readers--anyone who's stuck around--I'm sorry I haven't posted anything in a very long time. I know I've said this before, but real life has been kicking my ass in every way possible for the last few months. The truth of it is that I've really been battling severe depression for a long time. Depression that has completely sapped my desire to write. I miss my characters so much, and I have chapters I've pieced together in those moments when the urge hits and I can work up the energy. I'll post them soon. I promise.

Depression isn't the only thing. Well, it's the root cause of a lot of things. Worry about work and general life only makes it harder to keep up the energy. There have been a lot of times recently where I've contemplated a way out. Where all I've wanted was to go to sleep and not wake up again. I've felt so guilty about abandoning all of you because my absolute greatest fear is being abandoned myself.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've let you all down . I'll do better.

#trigger warning: death #trigger warning: depression #trigger warning: self-harm #personal

[let-me-love-you-loki]

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

Reblog this if you want readers to come into your ask box and ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines. 

Or, send in a ⭐star⭐  to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!

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Nowhere to Run--Ch. 55

Chapter 55

            It felt like the hallway stretched out in front of them as if it would never end. Jericho trailed behind Jack with his heart caught high in his throat and his head spinning. Somehow, Santana had gotten to the front and had raced down the cinderblock corridor. The sound of the door banging against the wall echoed like a gunshot. Jericho could feel the weight of his terror pressing against his ribs. Dark spots blinked in front of his eyes as he tried to focus on Kat’s head lolling against Jack Perry’s bicep.

            “Move it,” Jack snapped as he practically shoved his way past Santana to get into the Inner Circle locker room. He raced across the room, dodging suitcases and chairs to get to the low sofa against the wall. Kat whimpered as he lowered her down, propping her head on the arm.

            Santana stepped out of the way to let Jericho in. The rest of the Inner Circle followed right behind, crowding into the small room. They moved out of the way to let him get to the sofa. His heart pounded in his ears as he studied the pale hue of Kat’s face. At least she was breathing. He could see her chest rise and fall slowly.

            “Sammy, get me a wet towel from the bathroom,” Jericho said as he sat on the edge of the sofa next to her hip. “Jake, go get Doc Sampson.”

            They barely hesitated before heading off on their individual errands. Water ran in the sink in the bathroom. Jake’s heavy footsteps echoed until they were inaudible.

***

            Jack found himself hovering at the end of the sofa, chewing on the edge of his thumb. Kat’s head rolled side to side as she let out faint whimpers of discomfort. Her brow furrowed as her eyelids fluttered. He watched, his skin crawling, as Jericho rested his palm on the curve of her stomach.

            Kat moved sluggishly until her fingers settled over Jericho’s. She drew in a deep, shaky breath that started a rush of color into her cheeks. “Chris?”

            “I’m right here,” Jericho said softly. He reached out as Sammy handed him a damp paper towel, then settled it gently on Kat’s forehead. Jack clenched his fists. “Do you want the lights off?”

            She sighed and put her free hand over the towel. “What happened?”

            Jack felt someone staring holes through his chest. When he looked up, he saw Sanatana glaring at him as if he wanted to shove him straight through the wall. The rage that simmered below the surface of Jack’s skin made him almost hope that Santana made a move. A fight would make him feel better.

            “The boys were being idiots,” Jericho replied. His thumb stroked gently over Kat’s belly. “Santana and Jack were picking a fight with each other, and you got in the middle of it. Worked yourself up yelling at the two of them and got dizzy.”

            For half a second, Jack felt his eyes go wide. He was surprised that Jericho hadn’t just thrown him under the bus over the whole thing.

            “If Jack hadn’t caught you, you’d have bashed your head on the floor.”

            What the fuck is he playing at? Jack thought caustically.

***

            “Is everyone okay?” I asked quietly. My mouth was dry, and it was hard to speak.

            Jericho’s faint laughter rolled over me like the warmth of a blanket. He stroked his palm in soft circles along my stomach. “You’re impossible, Kat,” he said, voice tinged with equal parts worry and happy exasperation. “Yes, everyone’s fine. Nothing happened. You put both of them in their place before anything happened.”

            “Good,” I grunted. “You’re all a bunch of children with your heads up your asses most of the time anyway.”

            He laughed again, louder and more full-bodied this time. “Whatever you say, Katarina.”

            I cracked open one eye and glared at him beneath my lashes. “Don’t start with me, Christopher.”

            Jericho leaned forward and kissed me softly. His nose nuzzled against mine. “You scared the absolute shit out of me.” My fingers wrapped around his as they settled against my belly. “I couldn’t get to you fast enough.”

            I reached up with the other hand and settled my palm against his cheek. The rough stubble scratched pleasantly against my skin. He was warm and close, the scent of Irish Spring filling the space between us. “I’m so sorry.”

            He kissed me again, lingering half a second longer than before. “I shouldn’t have let you talk me into coming back. You should be at home resting. We should be at home.” His lashes brushed against my cheek, followed by the heartbreaking sensation of teardrops. “I promised you that I would take care of you.”

            “You have,” I whispered back. “You do, Chris. It’s not your fault I’m more stubborn than a backwoods Tennessee mule.”

***

            It felt like someone had just punched Jack as hard as they could in the middle of his chest. He couldn’t breathe. His heart seemed to have stopped dead behind his ribs as his father’s voice echoed through his head. It was as if Luke Perry was standing right in front of him just like he’d used to, arms crossed over his chest and staring at him with a light in his eyes that was equal parts frustration and amusement.

            Jack was immediately flung backward in time. Without even trying, he conjured up an image of the Perry farm awash in bright summer sunshine. His father walking along the fence line in faded jeans and a pair of worn boots, baseball cap pulled low over his eyes as he watched horses meander through the clover fields. Kat sitting on the fence and swinging her bare feet playfully. Nighttime washing over everything as he tried to mediate a screaming match between Jack and Kat over some minor thing.

            “I swear to God,” Jack could hear his father say, “the two of you are ridiculous. Stupid. Idiotic. More stubborn than a backwoods Tennessee mule. And I’ve seen a good few of those that were easier to deal with!”

            The memory was so clear, so strong, so real that Jack felt dizzy. He stumbled back, his shoulders slamming against the wall. He gasped as he tried to drag air into his lungs. The sound echoed.

            Caught Kat’s attention.

***

            My head started to swim as I tried to sit up. It took a moment for my vision to clear enough to see Jack practically collapsed against the wall at the end of the sofa. His face was pale, dark eyes standing out.

            “Jack,” I whispered, my voice cracking. Fear lanced up my spine, dragging with it a worry that he wouldn’t answer. That he wouldn’t speak to me. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Jack?”

            He didn’t answer. It was as if he was lost in his own world somewhere. His dark eyes were unfocused, staring off into space. There was something about his face that made my heart fall into my stomach. In that moment, he wasn’t the angry Jack who’d yelled at me and called me a whore on the delivery bay. He looked… sad. Lonely. Vulnerable.

            He looked like the Jack who had once been my best friend.

            I glanced back at Jericho who was still sitting on the sofa next to my hip. There was a shadow of worry behind his blue eyes when he looked at me. His hand rubbed slow circles on my stomach, thumb brushing back and forth. His palm settled low on my belly, feeling for the push and stretch of our baby moving. It was something he’d taken to doing not long after the first kick. He did it absently, as if it was a talisman. A way to calm himself. To remind himself that we were real, that we were here. He took several slow breaths as he watched me. I felt his eyes searching my face.

            I looked at the set of his jaw and knew exactly what he was thinking. The last thing he wanted to do was leave me anywhere alone with Jack Perry.

            My hand settled over his, threading our fingers together. His warmth spread through me as I met his gaze. For just a moment everyone and everything in the room faded away. It was just the two of us. The three of us. My belly stretched and jumped as the little life inside me pressed against it. Jericho closed his eyes and leaned forward. His cheek settled on my chest, lips settled over my heart.

            “I can’t do this, Kat,” he whispered against my collarbone. “I can’t.”

            My free hand settled against the back of his head. The dark blond locks twirled around my fingers. The scent of his shampoo filled the space between us, mixing in with the calming aroma of Irish Spring. “Chris, it’s okay,” I replied soothingly. “Look at me. Look at me, please.”

            Jericho hesitated. Then, instead of looking up, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me tight against him. His hands slipped beneath my back, drawing me up against his chest and tucking his face against the curve of my neck. My breath caught in my chest as I felt the first tear against my skin.

            “Oh, Chris…” Tears of my own burned up the back of my throat. I gathered him close and pressed a gentle kiss against his forehead. “Talk to me.”

            He was quiet, the tears still settling on my skin. I could feel my heart breaking deep inside my chest. It took a moment for me to realize he was whispering something. It was barely audible, a brush of breath against my neck.

            “Don’t ask me to do this,” he prayed. “I can’t leave you here without me. Not like this. Not right now. Not with him.”

            “Hey, you absolutely ricockulous man,” I said, surprised by the faint smile that spread over my lips. “You stupid, idiotic, moronic, wonderful, amazing man.”

            Jericho finally looked up at me, brows furrowed together. His eyes were glassy and red, and his mouth was curled in a confused frown. He stared at me as if he couldn’t understand why I was on the verge of laughter.

            “You aren’t going off on a tour of Siberia with only a smoke signal to contact me,” I replied, doing my best to keep the incredulous laughter from spilling out. “For Christ’s sake, you’ll be in the hallway. And I know you’ll be listening to every word.”

            “Katarina,” he said with a dark tone carrying beneath his voice.

            I tried so hard not to laugh. I forced my mouth into a serious frown. “Christopher.”

            For a moment Jericho and I stared at one another. I waited. He closed his eyes, scrubbed his fingers over his forehead and sighed.

            “The door stays open.” I watched him glare at Jack, knowing those words weren’t for me.

_____________

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

Days Gone--Ch. 6

Chapter 6

           Reid watched the second hand tick as the gears in his mind ground against one another. He suddenly felt overwhelmed with the crippling sense of helplessness. His dark eyes skipped over Lyssa’s face each time his gaze circled the evidence boards.

           “Damn it,” he swore under his breath. “What am I missing?”

***

           “We have to be missing something, Hotch,” JJ said as she glanced over at Reid. “There’s some piece of the profile that’s off.”

           “It’s not wrong,” Hotch replied, crossing his arms over his chest. “But there has to be something that we’ve missed. Or overlooked.”

           Morgan drew out his cellphone and pressed speed dial. It rang twice before it connected.

           “Garcia. Go for your girl.”

           “Tell me you have something, baby girl,” Morgan sighed. He rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. “Anything come up in your search?”

           He heard the deep intake of breath. For the first time since Lyssa’s picture showed up on the evidence board, he started to have some hope. “So,” Garcia began, “I did a deep dive into everything I could find about the financials of the bookstore and our four victims. Now, we know that the bookstore is the only thing they have in common. But! It actually isn’t. A deeper spelunking showed that all four of them are or have previously used the same bank. It didn’t show up before because two of them recently switched banks and practically scrubbed their old accounts—which by the way is like super weird because the average person doesn’t do that. It takes someone crazy good to do that. And, you know, it’s insanely expensive.”

           “That’s it?” Morgan felt his sense of hope slipping away. “C’mon, Garcia. You gotta give me more than that.”

           “Hold your horses, handsome,” she teased. “When I was able to compare the remaining open accounts, something fuzzy showed up. In the days leading up to their disappearance, both of them made some fishy withdrawals of exactly $223. Now, you can’t get that specific amount from an ATM. You have to go inside. So, I figure a teller would notice if a woman came into the bank twice a day for a week to do a cash withdrawal that specific.”

           “That’s good, baby girl. Give me the account information and the teller names as soon as you can.”

           Garcia chuckled. “Already on the way, sweet cheeks. And the bank is waiting for you.”

***

           Prentiss stepped into the air-conditioned lobby of the bank, tucking her sunglasses into the collar of her shirt. It was surprisingly hot and humid for the mountains of North Carolina. She flashed her ID to the security guard, who nodded and slipped away to the manager’s office.

           While she waited, Prentiss looked around. Her eyes landed on the tellers. Cameras watched each of them from over their shoulders. Still more cameras recorded the front doors and the entrance to the vault. It was entirely likely—or actually certain—that Garcia had already pulled the security footage. With or without permission from the bank.

           “Agent Prentiss?”

           “Yes,” she said, holding out her hand toward the woman who’d just appeared. The bank manager was a striking figure with pale blonde hair and dark black eyes. “Thank you for taking the time to speak with me.”

           “Of course,” the manager said calmly. “Let’s go to my office.”

           Prentiss followed the manager across the lobby and into a glass fronted office. She sank into an uncomfortable chair as the manager swept around and settled in behind the desk. A nameplate identified her as Veronica Addams.

           The moment Ms. Addams took her place across the desk, Prentiss spoke up. “I believe Agent Garcia told you why I’m here.”

           “She said it had something to do with some unusual activity in a few of our accounts. I’m surprised the FBI personally came down to deal with something like this.”

           “It’s actually a bit more than that, Ms. Addams. The accounts in question belong to three murder victims and a missing woman.” She watched the bank manager as she explained the reasons for her visit. “Two of them made a series of unusual cash withdrawals in the weeks leading up to their disappearance. Two others had accounts with this bank that were closed and almost completely digitally erased.”

           The manager’s brow furrowed as she leaned forward. “That’s unlikely. We keep complete digital records of all of our accounts, even those that are closed.”

           “Still. I’d like to speak with your tellers. To see if they can provide any additional information.”

           “Feel free, Agent Prentiss. But hundreds of people come in every day. I can’t guarantee that they’ll even know these women.” Addams kept her voice low, as if she feared someone might hear through the glass. “People here are just account numbers. Not names and faces.”

           For a moment, Prentiss wanted to reach across the table and slap the woman in disgust.

***

           “Okay, kid,” Morgan said as he stepped up beside Reid, who was still staring at the evidence board. “Garcia found something in the victims’ financials.”

           Reid turned toward him with a scowl that Morgan had never seen before. “Don’t call her a victim. Lyssa isn’t a victim.”

           There was a rage boiling through Reid’s veins. Beneath all of it was an overwhelming sense of helplessness and loss. His mind skidded to a halt; the blood poured from his brain straight to his toes. Reid stumbled. Slipped. Linoleum rushed up toward him.

           He caught himself on the edge of a nearby desk. His head swam as he sank down into the chair. Morgan watched him carefully. The color slowly came back to Reid’s face. Still, he scooted a trash can into place between the younger man’s knees.

***

           An alarm blared on the screen behind Garcia. She whipped around, fingers going to the keyboard with practiced ease. She reached out with her left hand for a pen and pad.

           “Oh,” she gasped. “Oh. Oh no. No, no, no, no.”

           Garcia’s heart galloped in her chest. Her stomach twisted into a tight knot. She dialed the phone with shaking fingers.

           “What is it, baby girl?” Morgan’s eyes raked over Reid in worry.

           “Derek, they’ve found another body.”

           Morgan’s brow furrowed as he looked around. “What?” His voice dropped into a whisper. “There’s nothing coming through here. How do you already know that?”

           Garcia’s fingers trembled harder. “Because it’s not there! It’s on the Blue Ridge Parkway across the state line in Tennessee.”

           “Don’t tell me…” He turned and walked away from Reid. His eyes squeezed shut. He thought he was going to be sick. “How do they know it’s connected?”

           “I set up an alert with the parameters of the M.O. for this unsub. Anything that even resembled the previous bodies would come through.” Garcia took a deep breath. “There’s no ID on the body yet.”

           Morgan stalked across the room toward where Rossi and Hotch sat at the conference table, files spread out in front of them as they discussed the case. He sat his phone on the table between them. “Garcia, you’re on speaker. I’m with Hotch and Rossi. Tell them exactly what you just told me.”

           The moment Garcia finished explaining what she’d found, Rossi stood up. “Send me the details right now. I’m on my way.”

_____________

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

If 70% of us Democrats voted Republicans would never be in power again.

[let-me-love-you-loki]

An Ending Within--Ch. 21

Chapter 21

           “I’m tired,” I mumbled as I stood up and stretched. It felt like I’d been sitting at that table for days. “I need to take a walk.”

           Sammy Guevara glanced up from the photograph he was signing. We’d been doing a meet-and-greet before Dynamite for the last two hours. It was still a little insane to me that people paid to have their picture with me and get an autograph.

           “Don’t take too long,” he said, glancing at his watch. “There’s only thirty minutes left.”

           For a moment, I wanted to kick him. But I’d been wearing my brace consistently since my match with Jon. Stupid Sammy wasn’t worth the extra pain and discomfort.

           “I’m only going to take a lap around the room, dipshit,” I said under my breath. Sammy smirked. I turned toward the people waiting in my line. “I just need to move around guys. Mox jacked up my knee. The loser. I’ll be back in five.”

           A few people grumbled, but I was already wobbling toward the other end of the room. The outside of my leg was numb. It had been messed up in one way or another for the last few weeks. Jon had been worried so much that I’d wanted to smack him. He worried more than Seth. And of course, neither of us had let on to my husband that my leg was acting up like this again.

           Taking my time, I looped around the room once. I stopped every ten steps or so and flexed my knee and wriggled my toes as much as I could. The numbness began to give way to pins and needles. My heart skipped a beat and then relaxed. A huge wave of relief washed over me. Still, I made a mental note to set up an appointment with Dr. Thurman. If I was going to go crazy in the ring, maybe it would be a good idea to get a bit of maintenance physical therapy. I just had to figure out how to tell Seth.

           “Okay,” I said as I plopped back down in my chair. A teenage girl stood at the front of the line. “I’m only talking to people who hate Jon Moxley.”

           The girl grinned and unrolled a neon green poster. Giant black block letters spelled out a message that made me cackle in a way that would make Seth proud.

           Jon Moxley fears Leighton Black.

***

           “How’s the leg?” Tony Khan asked as we passed in the hallway.

           I flexed my foot and bent my knee a few times. “On my way to see Doc.”

           “Good. If Doc clears you, I’ve got a match for you against Statlander. And we gotta build up your rematch against Jon.”

           Before I could reply, laughter echoed down the hallway. I didn’t need to feel the frenetic energy overwhelming the air to know it was Jon. What I didn’t expect was the crackle of electricity along my skin and the warm salt scent of the ocean. Turning to see Seth and Roman walking side-by-side with Jon sent me barreling backward in time to the early days of The Shield. Those early days when the Hounds gathered around me. My heart jumped up into my throat. Tears burned behind my eyelids.

           “What are you doing here?” I gasped.

           Roman’s deep rumble washed over me. “Surprise, itiiti.”

           Joy lanced through me so quickly that it knocked the breath from my body. I was running before I registered moving. Roman held out his arms and snatched me against his chest. I snaked my arms around his neck and hooked my heels behind his knees.

           “Once a Hound, always a Hound,” he murmured against my hair. “It’s time we came to support you.”

           I swallowed nervously. Time to bite the bullet. But at least I could honestly say it was pins and needles now. Normal coming and going of sensation like I’d had for years now.

           “I was just on my way to see Doc Sampson for the all clear.” Roman set me gently on my feet. “If he says go, I’ve got a match tonight.”

           Jon’s brow furrowed. “Against who?”

           A grin spread over my face. “Your girl Statlander.”

           Seth turned to look at Jon with a smirk. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Your girl? You’ve already dropped Llane?”

           “Fuck you,” Jon said as he thumped Seth hard in the shoulder. He pushed his way past Roman and hooked his arm around my neck. He tucked me in close and gave me a fierce kiss on my head. “Dollface here is the only girl for me. Period.”

           I laughed and put my arm around his waist. “Don’t let Renee hear you say that.”

           Jon shrugged. “She already knows. When it comes to this business, you’re it for me, dollface. Names might change, but we’re Lunatic Llane for good.”

           A door opened at the end of the hallway. “Leighton? Let me get a look at you. Tony needs to know if you’re cleared so he can block the show.”

           Giving Jon one last squeeze, I skipped out of his hold and moved between Seth and Roman. My husband brushed his fingertips along my arm as I walked by. Something like peace and calm slipped along my spine.

***

           When I left Doc Sampson’s trainer’s room, I was more than a little surprised to see a cluster of people just down the hall. The Bucks and Adam Page leaned against the wall with Jon, Seth, and Roman across from them. Chris Jericho was tucked in there, too. Nick Jackson looked up as I got closer. He smiled, and a warm sensation rushed through my heart. My old family joining with the new one.

           “You sure you guys don’t want seats? If you aren’t comfortable with ringside then we can get you a box or something. Somewhere you won’t be seen. And definitely won’t be on camera.” Matt Jackson spoke earnestly to Seth and Roman. I could see what he was trying to do, but I knew without a doubt that it wouldn’t work.

           Seth shook his head, a wry smile on his face. “Thanks, Matt. I mean it. But we’re risking our careers enough just being here.”

           “Seriously?” Adam asked, his voice awash with incredulity.

           Jon grunted. “You have no idea what it’s like over there.”

           “Vince isn’t one for disloyalty. Hell, he swore he’d never speak to me again after I jumped ship to AEW. And he is petty,” Jericho added. “If he finds out that they’re here, he’ll bury them as punishment.”

           My heart jumped into my throat as those words slipped into my brain. “What? You both have to go. Right now,” I squeaked. “Leave. Now.”

           Roman pulled me into a hug. He tucked my head just beneath his chin. “Not a chance, itiiti.”

           “But Vince—”

           “Are you forgetting who you’re talking to?” Roman teased. I felt the chuckle rumble through his chest. His heart beat steadily beneath my ear. “My family helped keep that company alive more than once. Let him try to fire me. If he does, he’s going to have to deal with Sika, Dwayne, and Rakishi.”

           “Ro, you know how vindictive he is.” Worry bled into my body, seeping through into my voice. “If you two get in trouble because of me, I’ll murder both of you.”

           The hallway echoed with the sound of Seth’s laugh. “Don’t worry about us, baby. We’ll be fine. Promise.”

           “Both of you are insane,” I said, wiggling out of Roman’s hold to move closer to Seth. He leaned over to press a kiss against my forehead.

           “I promise. Plus, I have another excuse,” he said with a smile.

           “Tina!” came my favorite voice in the world. “Mamma! Mamma!”

           Sefina came barreling down the hallway with a huge grin on her face. She had a handful of what looked like Sour Patch Kids in one fist. Brandi Rhodes had her other hand and rushed along just behind my daughter.

           I squatted down and held out my arms to her. She yanked her hand from Brandi’s hold and dropped her snacks on the floor as she threw her arms around my neck. I held onto her tight and pressed one kiss after another over her cheeks and forehead.

           “Hi, sweetie!” My whole body felt bright and happy at the sight of my daughter there. She hadn’t seen me wrestle since I moved to AEW. “What are you doing here?”

           “Tama and uso brought me!” Her dark eyes were bright and there was a faint blush over her cheeks. “I want to watch you!”

           That burning behind my eyes came again as I tucked my daughter’s hair behind her ear and looked up at Seth. “Well, that’s good because mommy has a match tonight. Do you want to go meet her?”

           Sefina giggled and nodded. I hooked my arms around her and stood up. She held on tight as I walked through the gaggle of people and went off toward Kris Statlander’s locker room. I was sure my daughter would love her alien gimmick.

_________________________

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

Everything Has Changed--Ch. 27

Chapter 27

Shaye

           Good God, it felt like my heart had turned inside out and clawed its way into my throat. For a moment—from the instant that he spoke—I couldn’t breathe. I was suddenly right back in that train station in Tokyo. On the steep-sloped trail along the side of Mount Tsukuba. Standing at the wide windows looking out over the sprawling Katsushida ward below. In the Bullet Club locker room in Osaka. In Central Park along the side of a pond.

           In Winnipeg, standing shivering in the dirt driveway of that house. Watching Kota Ibushi appear out of nowhere, knowing that I had just been kidding myself that Kenny and I would ever have worked out.

           And yet here I was… with him on the phone. The moment that I felt most alone, I’d turned back to the person who had broken me so thoroughly.

           “You’re still there, Shaytan,” Kenny’s voice said in my ear. It had an undercurrent of something that I couldn’t quite place. It made my skin crawl just as much as it made me wonder what might have been. “I can hear you.”

           It was like my whole body crumpled in on itself. I slipped from the edge of Damon’s bed to the floor. The force of the landing rocketed through my spine as I landed, knocking the breath out of my lungs. It rushed out of me in a gasp that caught in my throat.

           There was a sound like a soft hum that came down the line. I could see his face in my mind. A gentle smile on his lips as he leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees. It was past midnight in New York. In Tokyo it was early afternoon. Kenny would have been just coming back to his flat from his workout and lunch at the little hole-in-the-wall spot down the street from the gym. The image ran through me with a shiver up my spine.

           “What’s the matter, Shaytan?” he asked softly.

           Before I could stop them, the tears came. They came in a torrent that rushed down my cheeks, stealing what little breath I had left. An ache settled behind my ribs like a hook in my heart that yanked and tore and pulled.

           His voice lilted up and down with that sweet concern that he had. “Iki o sutte kudasai, koibito. Watashi wa koko ni imasu.” It had been so long since I’d heard or spoken Japanese. It took a moment for my brain to make sense of what it was hearing.

           Take a breath, sweetheart. I am right here. That hook in my chest twisted and yanked, feeling as if it were tearing my heart from behind my ribs. I sank forward, curling in on myself. Wrapping my free arm around my stomach as if I were trying to hold my guts inside me.

           “Damon…” My brother’s name caught in my throat. I thought of where he might have gone. What trouble he might be getting himself into. “I can’t… he’s gone… he ran off.”

           I heard a faint rustle on the other end of the line. I tried to imagine what he was doing. Was he walking through the quiet streets back to his flat? Was he still in the little restaurant in his favorite booth? Had he slipped a little and gotten another deep-fried Mars bar?

           “What do you want from me?” Kenny went quiet for a moment as if to let me think. “What do you need?”

           My lungs ached as I sucked in a breath. I knew the answer almost before he’d finished asking the question. But I hated myself for it.

           “You.”

Nick

           “Oh my God, Nick. Stop it,” Sam said from across the table. There was a whine in her voice that was part annoyance and part frustration. She kicked my shin underneath the table. She, Matt, and I were at our favorite table at Black Bear Diner with our usual spread between us.

           My phone sat face up by my plate. Every few minutes, I’d tap the screen, look forlornly at the glowing glass, and then heaving a sigh when there was nothing. All three of us knew what I was doing—checking for messages from Shaye. There was no denying it.

           It had been weeks since I’d heard from her. Every single day, I wanted to call her. I wanted to text her. Just to know that she was still there. It was hard to explain, and I knew that it was going to tear me up inside the longer I lingered on the thought. I could feel the ache starting deep in my chest, just behind my ribs. It sucked the breath out of my lungs and I nearly choked.

           “That’s it,” she said, reaching across the table and snatching my phone before I could get my hands on it. She hit the button on the side, holding it down until it turned off completely. Then she tucked it underneath her thigh.

           “Give me my phone,” I said, holding out my hand.

           Sam shook her head and went back to her food. She took a bite of her turkey sandwich and turned her attention to Matt. “When do you have to go to Reseda again?”

           “Sam, give me my phone,” I demanded. Frustration boiled just below the surface of my voice.

           She ignored me. “I have to do a showing this weekend for one of my classes.”

           Matt dug his phone from his pocket and opened up his calendar. He swiped through it before putting it away. “Next PWG show is Friday night. I guess you’re going to miss it, then.”

           “Well, it depends on where you are on the card. I might be able to swing it if you’re near the end of the show.”

           The two of them carried on their conversation as if they were alone at the table. My guts churned with jealousy and envy. Seeing them together made me miss Shaye even more. It didn’t matter that there had never really been anything between the two of us. I’d fallen in love with her in Osaka the first time I’d met her. That hadn’t changed just because she’d cut me out of her life.

           My patience snapped. “Samantha, give me my damn phone!”

           “Watch your tone,” Matt said, his voice sharp. “Calm down.”

           I rubbed my eyes hard with my fingers, trying to push back the tears that were threatening to rush to the surface. “Please, just give me my phone. I’m going home.”

           “Nick—”

           Sam put my phone on the table. I snatched it up and threw a twenty on the table. Sam drove us all to the diner. I called an Uber.

Shaye

           Despite myself, Kenny’s voice made me weak in the knees. All I could envision was the way he’d looked that first day in the Tokyo train station. How kind his eyes had been. How soft his voice echoed in my memory. I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting nausea at the idea of calling him.

           “It’s good to hear from you, Shaytan,” he said confidently. The timbre of his voice conjured images of nights overlooking the streets of the ward with Kenny’s hands on me. “I’ve missed you.”

           My body ached with want and sadness and loneliness. “Don’t call me that,” I said softly. “You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

           It didn’t matter that I’d called him. That I’d told him that I needed him.

           I could hear his smile when he spoke again. “You will always be my unmei no akai ito.” For a moment, I thought I sensed sadness in his voice. “It isn’t right without you. I’m not right without you.”

           Something burned in my throat. Bile and tears and self-loathing. “Stop. Just stop,” I gasped, trying to stop myself from breaking down into pieces. What had I done? How had I been so stupid as to call him? “You don’t get to say those things. You don’t get to be sad and upset and lonely. Because you did this. All of this is your fault. Everything that’s happened is because you did it. You and Kota fucking Ibushi ruined everything. Absolutely everything.”

           It went quiet on the other end of the line. When he spoke again, his voice was soft. Almost contrite. “It wasn’t what you think, Shaye. If you’d given me five minutes to explain, I would have told you everything.”

           “And what was that, Kenny?” Anger and hurt and hatred burned through my veins. “That you were fucking Kota behind my back? That you were going dark on me because you wanted to sneak away? Because that’s exactly what it looked like to me.”

           “Did it bother you at all that Nick came with you? That he was so willing to fly from California to Winnipeg just like that? Without a moment’s notice?” There was something bordering on fury in his voice. “It didn’t occur to you at all that he was a little too helpful?”

           It was the same thing he’d tried to convince me about when he’d called when I was in California. “Stop. Just stop. I don’t believe you. Don’t you dare lie about Nick that way! He was there when you completely broke me!”

           Kenny chuckled darkly. “You never asked him, did you?”

           I wanted to scream. My stomach churned. “Fuck you,” I said, my voice far less sure than I wanted. “I hate you!”

           His voice dropped into a whisper that I’d heard a thousand times before. “You called me, Shaytan. When you needed someone, you didn’t call Nick Jackson. You called me.”

_______________________

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

Head Over Feet--Ch. 8

Chapter 8

           “How do you do that again?” The kid’s name was Noel, and he was fascinated by one of the videos I’d pulled up from one of our shows. It was Hanger doing the running shooting star press. The kid had asked me to replay it at least a dozen times.

           Standing beside him, I watched the kid as he studied the move on the screen. His fingers kept toying with the zipper on his jacket.

           “I was never really good at it,” I said honestly. “But basically, you get a short running start and then do a backflip onto the other guy.”

           He looked up at me with a furrow in his brow. “But do you lead with your head or your chest or your foot? How do you know you’ll land in the right place?” He tugged his jacket zipper up and down, like it was a nervous tick. “What angle do you do? Can you do the geometry in your head?”

           I felt my eyes bulge in surprise. “Geometry? We don’t really think about it that way. At least, I don’t.”

           The furrow in Noel’s brow got deeper. “But how do you do it if you don’t do the math?” His frustration was palpable. He tugged his jacket zipper with more force.

           I paused the video and sat down in the chair next to where he stood. The sound of the zipper was loud in my ears. “We just feel it. And practice a lot. I mean, a lot! My friend Adam here… he’s done that move hundreds of times. He can tell you exactly how many steps he needs to take and where he’s going to land without looking. He can do it with his eyes closed in his sleep.”

           “But—”

           For a second, I thought about reaching out to put my hand on his shoulder. But the tension in his features let me know that might not be a good idea.

           “It’s like this thing called muscle memory. Right? Like when you do something so often and so many times that you don’t even think about it anymore,” I said slowly. “When Adam does that move, his body kind of does the math for him.”

           Noel opened his mouth to speak, but a shadow fell over us before he could. Ellie stood there with a faint smile. She settled her hand in the space between his shoulder blades. When she spoke, her voice was low and soothing.

           “It’s time for special, Noel. You don’t want to be late.”

           The frustration in his features smoothed out. The fidgeting with his zipper slowed. He looked up at the clock.

           “Ms. Kyle, may I go to my special now?”

           Ellie smiled and dropped her hand back to her side. “Of course. Don’t forget your bag.”

           Noel nodded and went to grab his backpack. He gave Ellie a wave as he walked out. The moment the door closed behind him, she sank into a chair and covered her eyes with her hands.

           “I’m sorry about that,” she said, her words muffled behind her fingers.

           I laughed before I could stop myself. “Why? The kids were pretty awesome.”

           “I meant Noel.”

           “Ellie, seriously. He just had questions.” I had the urge to reach out to her. I settled for scooting my chair a little closer. “Hell, I haven’t even thought about geometry in ten years, let alone with a shooting star press!”

           She laughed and I couldn’t help but feel my heart racing in my chest. It made something slip down into my toes—this warmth that enveloped me. Ellie let out a faint sigh and took a breath. When she looked back over at me, I couldn’t stop myself.

           “Go out with me.” I cringed as the words spilled out. Almost like a demand rather than a request. “I mean—”

           “Sure.”

           If I didn’t know better, I would have thought she was blushing.

***

           By the time I got home and dropped my bag, I was convinced the whole thing had been some sort of fever dream. There was no way that I’d actually asked Ellie Kyle on a legitimate date. I’d clearly had some bad Taco Bell or something. In reality, I was in some massive hallucination while I was in the emergency room. Or I’d wake up any minute to find that I’d overslept and missed my entire visit to Ellie in the first place.

           Groaning, I flopped down on the end of my bed and stared up at the ceiling. I’d barely closed my eyes when my phone went off. Ellie’s name appeared when I clicked on the screen.

           Let me know when you want to get together. Thanks again for everything today. -E.

           My God. It had really happened.

           Heart pounding in my throat, I took a screenshot of the message and sent it to Sam with the words don’t talk about my nuts ever again. After a moment’s thought, I sent the same one to Nick. Maybe that would make both of them leave me alone.

           I should have known it wasn’t going to be anywhere near that easy.

           Not five seconds later, my ringtone blared through the room.

           “What, Sam?” My voice came out a little gruffer than I intended.

           Laughter rolled through the line. “Close,” my little brother cackled.

           “Oh hell,” I grunted. “I’d rather talk to Sam.”

           “I’m here, too!”

           The urge to hang up ran through me. It was one thing for Sam to haze me about not dating, but it was something else entirely for my baby brother to back her up.

           “When is it?”

           “Where are you going?”

           “Don’t go to Black Bear. Go somewhere nice.”

           “Make sure you get a haircut.”

           “And clean up those mutton chops!”

           “Remember—”

           “STOP!” Their rapid-fire questions and comments swam through my head, making it ache. “Jesus, please stop.”

           Instantly, silence crackled down the line. It was almost like I could hear them breathing. When I closed my eyes, I could imagine the two of them on the sofa in Sam’s apartment with Nick’s phone on his knee and both with contrite expressions.

           “Sorry,” Sam said after a few moments of strained quiet.

           I sighed and sat up, my head in my hand. “It’s okay. I’m still surprised as hell myself.”

           For half a second, I thought back to that day in LAX when we first met Sam. How I secretly put her number in my phone from the tag on her luggage. I had every intention of asking her out the instant I saw her. But then I saw how my brother looked at her and heard how he talked about her in the days afterward. I couldn’t bring myself to go through with calling and asking her out. Not when it was clear that Nick was already smitten with her after ten minutes.

           It was something I was ashamed of, even if no one knew. Truth was I hoped no one ever knew.

           “How can we help?” Nick asked evenly. “What d’you need?”

           I scrubbed my face with my hand. “Honestly, I don’t have any clue. You know how long it’s been since I’ve been on a date.”

           Before I could spiral back into thoughts of Her, Sam’s voice rushed down the line. “It’s dating bootcamp for you then, Matty!”

           My head fell forward. I put it between my knees, sure I was going to panic if I didn’t. An ache started behind my eyes, throbbing in time with my heartbeat. “You know what, Sammy? Sure. What’s the worst that could happen?”

           She squealed so loud I nearly threw the phone across the room.

________________

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

Yours to Tame--Ch. 6

A/N: Please be careful, my loves. There’s some heavy stuff mentioned in this one. Trigger warning: past abuse.

Chapter 6: After Rampage

           My stomach dropped and twisted as the scent of vomit wafted up from the trashcan between my knees. Every beat of my heart shoved pain through my whole body. The back of my head throbbed. My hair felt sticky.

           “Hey,” a voice said right by my ear. I wanted to turn toward it, but just the thought of moving made me heave. “Did you hit your head in the ring?”

           The more the voice spoke, the more I began to recognize it. Bryan Danielson moved into my peripheral vision, crouching beside me. His rough hand rested gently on my knee.

           Another wave of nausea rushed through me. My jaw clenched. I swallowed hard. “Yeah,” I mumbled, doing my best to keep my mouth shut. The lie burned more than the vomit in my throat.

           Bryan twisted, yelling over his shoulder. “Somebody get medical. Now!”

           The volume vibrated through my head.

           I squeezed my eyes shut.

           I hurled into the trash.

***

           Bryan’s blood practically boiled with rage. He knew for a fact that Morgan hadn’t hurt herself in the ring. Deeb was as safe as they came. In all the years he’d known Serena Deeb—as a trainer and performer—no one had been injured working with her. Not even a bruise that was out of the ordinary for a wrestler. The fact that Morgan lied about how it happened made Bryan both sick and desperate to commit murder.

           “Knox,” he whispered, “I was watching your match.”

           He felt her tense up. Her face went pale white. Sweat stuck out on Morgan’s brow. He watched her jaw clench as she tried to stop herself from throwing up again.

           “Don’t,” she mumbled through her teeth. “Don’t push it. Please.”

           “Bullshit don’t push it,” Bryan responded. His voice came out far louder and rougher than he intended. She winced, the sound clearly hurting her ears.

           He dropped his tone to a whisper. “Serena Deeb has never hurt anyone in the ring. Ever.”

           Morgan sucked in a deep breath through her nose. “I fucked up.”

           Bryan shook his head. “I was watching, Morgan. The whole thing.” He paused, giving her time to make sense of what he meant. He knew well from experience that a concussion made everything fuzzy and hard to focus. “I should have stopped you from even going out there. I should have had Tony say something.”

           The sound of medical—it had taken them long enough—rushing over cut off anything more either of them might have said.

***

           When medical showed up, the only thing running through my head was that Sammy was going to be pissed. Like I was definitely going to be wrestling hurt next week kind of pissed. Need to do my own makeup kind of pissed. Taped up in different gear kind of pissed.

           I could sense Bryan still standing nearby as one of the trainers looked me over. Bryan held out his hand to her, showing sticky blood drying his fingers. He pointed to the back of my head. She shone a light into my eyes.

           All Hell broke loose.

           Someone held a pack of gauze against the back of my head. I hissed as the pain nearly made me pass out. A bag got thrust under my chin right before I vomited. They strapped me into a neck brace, moved me tentatively to a backboard.

           Behind me, just out of view, someone barked, “You know goddamn well you shouldn’t have moved her, Danielson! You should have gotten Sampson immediately.”

           I jostled with every step the trainers took, sucking in one deep breath after another to try to keep conscious. The pain ran like lightning from my head down my spine, through every nerve in my entire body. The world was blurred around the edges. My eyes fluttered and rolled back.

***

           Bryan watched the trainers wheel Morgan away, a sick feeling settling deep in his guts. He took a few steps forward as if he intended on following them, but stopped before he’d gotten very far. After all, it was already going to be difficult to explain why he’d come running out to ringside when her match ended. Providing a reason for him to follow her to the hospital would be next to impossible.

           “What the actual fuck!”

           He whipped his head around just in time to see Anna Jay sprinting toward the retreating cluster of medical personnel. It looked like she’d thrown a hoodie on over her gear and ran out of the locker room at breakneck speed.

           She pivoted on her right foot, turning to face him. She kept running smoothly backward as she pointed an angry finger at him. “You’re going to explain yourself, buddy.”

***

           The next time I opened my eyes, I was practically blinded by the obnoxiously bright overhead lights. My head was splitting open. For a moment, it felt like I was about to pass out again.

           “Oh, no you don’t.” Anna’s voice cut through the fog, jostling me awake. “Look alive, Knox.”

           I blinked over and over again. “Turn off the fucking lights,” I whined.

           She laughed. I knew the sound of it. Relief. Hearing it threw me for a loop. It took a moment for me to catch my breath. Instead, I squeezed my eyes shut and listened as she walked across the room to turn off the overhead lights. I felt the dimness as it settled over me.

           “So,” Anna said as she took up residence in the chair beside my bed. The legs squeaked against the linoleum floor, screeching out the sound of nails on a chalkboard. “What happened?”

           I drew in a deep breath as I braced for the nausea that I was certain would creep over me any moment. When it didn’t come, I realized they’d given me something. Something to reduce the throbbing of my brain behind my eyes and the steady crawl of vomit up my throat. I was grateful.

           “I fucked up and hit my head in the ring.”

           It was the same lie I’d told Bryan Danielson. We barely knew each other and he didn’t believe me. Anna and I had been friends for years. I don’t know why I’d even bothered.

           “Okay,” she replied, drawing out the word until I thought she’d never stop. “Now tell me what really happened.”

           Despite the anti-nausea medication, my stomach turned upside down. I was sure I was going to puke everywhere.

           “You know what happened,” I whispered as shame burned like acid through my veins. I wanted to crawl into a ball, to hide and never come back out again.

           Anna’s fingers wrapped around mine and squeezed gently. There was a deep, quiet sort of strength in her grip that pulled me toward a feeling of safety. I tried to gather strength from her, taking my time to draw one breath after another until I felt the nausea start to roll away.

           The edge of the bed dipped beneath her weight as she perched near my hip. “Come stay with me. Morgan… he’s going to kill you. You know he could. He will.”

           I swallowed hard, clenching my teeth so hard that I was sure they would crack. Forcing my eyes closed, I turned my head away from her. Everything in me screamed that she was right. That I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Sammy Guevara could kill me—whether he wanted to or not.

***

           Bryan stood in Dusty and stared down the hallway toward where they’d taken Morgan for what felt like hours. He stayed there until the sound of squeaking gurney wheels and hushed, anxious voices faded away. The echo of emergency sirens had long since disappeared into quiet.

           “Hey, Bry!” The voice reverberated along the concrete walls, bouncing back to thunder against his ears. Snapping fingers appeared in his vision. When he finally got control of his own thoughts, he blinked and looked toward the owner of the fingers.

           “Are you going to stand there while they break down the set around you?” Moxley asked, sarcasm lacing his words. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

           Bryan took a breath, feeling it burn down his throat and push his lungs against his ribs with agonizing pressure. “They took Knox to the hospital.”

           “Oh, shit.”

           Without another word, Moxley hooked his arm around Bryan’s neck and steered him firmly down the corridor toward the locker room they shared. He slammed the door behind them in the hope that it would startle Bryan out of the stupor he had fallen into. Instead, he just stood there staring at the wall with unfocused eyes.

           Moxley snapped his fingers in front of his friend’s face. “Hey! Focus!” When snapping didn’t work, he hauled off and gave Bryan a pair of open-handed shots across either side of his jaw. “Goddamnit, get a grip.”

           Bryan barely registered the shots to the face, but his eyes finally met Moxley’s. They cleared just enough. “I shouldn’t have let her go out there. I watched her walk out there and knew she wasn’t right.”

           “Huh?”

           “She was stumbling. I knew something looked off when she went up the steps. I should have stopped her.”

           Moxley shoved him back onto a chair and crouched in front of him. “First, that’s not your job. Second, what happened?”

           Sucking in a breath, Bryan put his head in his hands. “Morgan had blood on the back of her head. She was stumbling, eyes unfocused. She had a concussion before she ever went out there to get in the ring.” His jaw bunched as he clenched his teeth. “It was fresh blood, Mox. Not like it had come from the match with Deeb. I watched that match and she didn’t hit her head. But earlier…”

           “Spit it out, Danielson.”

           “I heard Sammy screaming at her. I’d swear that I heard her hit the wall. He shoved her against it,” Bryan said quietly. “He did something to her, Mox. He hurt her.”

           Moxley glared at Bryan even though he was practically looking right through him.

***

           For a moment, Moxley felt as if he were going to vomit. He already hated Guevara on principle, but it seemed like he had a new sort of disgust and rage building inside him. The thought of Sammy’s smug face made him want to punch through the wall.

           “I’m going to rip his spine out through his dick,” he snarled.

           That was enough to make Bryan grin just a little. “I’ll hold him down.”

***

           I drifted in and out of consciousness. The lights flickered on and off as nurses took my vitals and replaced my IVs. Every time I woke up enough to process anything, I could only register the pain that sliced through my head with every heartbeat. At the slightest sound of discomfort, Anna practically jumped up from the chair by my bed. She’d taken up residence there, curled up under a hospital-issue blanket still in her gear from the show.

           A thundering sound broke the quiet. I jerked up, my head spinning so hard that I had to hold onto the bed railing to keep from puking or passing out or both. The door slammed against the wall. Light from the hallway spilled into the room, framing Sammy’s form in the doorway.

_______________________________

Tag List

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

This is totally what Y/N would do!

Matt: *groaning* My back.

Nick: *laughing* You've been selling that back since you were 12.

Y/N: Poor Matt. Where does it hurt? *snorting* Oh Jesus, you still got table in your hair.

Nick: *yanking table fragments out* Hold still.

Matt: *shouting* Ow! I better not have a bald spot, you ass.

#too late tales #too late tales headcanon #headcanons

[let-me-love-you-loki]

Mattie did this. And Nick just decided to roll with it.

Nick Jackson wearing a Kenny Omega shirt at PWG

#too late tales #headcannon #nick jackson

[let-me-love-you-loki]

Matt: Hey! Hey, bunny! Look I got a belt!

Y/N: I'm looking. At an idiot.

Nick: *quietly* I got a belt, too.

Y/N:*closing her eyes* Tag team idiots.

credit

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