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#umbrella academy five
axemanhargreeves · an hour ago
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Five: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Diego: What if I bite it and it dies?
Five: That means you’re poisonous.
Allison: What if it bites itself and I die?
Five: ...That’s voodoo.
Vanya: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Klaus (from another room): That’s kinky
Ben: oh my gods
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five when he was coming through that portal
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deathgod-ben · 8 hours ago
If the hargreeves were not libras what do you think would be their zodiacs, Im 100% convinced sparrow Ben would be a Scorpio, sloane a pisces ( based off their descriptions) klaus a leo, and luther a taurus
what do you think?
Oh yes Sparrow Ben made Scorpio. Umbrella Ben gives me an Aquarius vibe
FIVE AND DIEGO ARE ARIES THEY HAVE SAME ENERGY AS ME AND IM ARIES SO IM CLAIMING THEM
Klaus giving me more Sagittarius vibe but yeah is a Leo too, fully agree on Luther being Taurus. Vanya is like, cancer maybe?? And Allison is such a gemini
I saw the word romantic on Sloane bio and was like "yes, Cancer" along with Jayme. Fei is the one giving me Pisces vibe. Marcus is a Leo. I cant decided with Alphonso, but he giving be fire sign vibe and the cube brother is giving be earth vibes.
I feel my judgment of zodiac is influenced a lot by people around me too, since I tend to ask people's zodiac
anyway REGINALD IS THE 13TH ZODIAC THAT NO ONE FUCKING WANTS IN THE ZODIAC SYSTEM (by no one I mean me and that's enough opinion)
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tuaklave · 9 hours ago
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Wouldnt it be fun if Five eventually realises its him trying to stop the apocolypse that always results in it happening and the only way to actually stop it and save his family is if he stays stuck in the apocolypse
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golden-wreath · 9 hours ago
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The image of five having to psych himself up before every kill and harden his heart…then bury his head in his hands out of shame after he’s done and goes back to wherever commission agents live makes me sad
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feralnumberfive · 10 hours ago
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The Hargreeves as funny posts I came across on Tumblr pt. 2
Luther: 
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Diego:
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Allison:
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Klaus:
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Five:
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Ben:
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Vanya:
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deathgod-ben · 10 hours ago
percy jackson AU but with the hargreeves, so like who do u think would be their godly parent :) ( including norse, roman, and egyption)
I think Deigo would be the son of Bellona, Klaus would be Lokis, and Ben would be I think tartrus maybe ( bc tartarus is like the pit of suffering, hell and like monsters and Ben has pit of monsters and shit lol) or maybe Hades idk
what do u think?
I LOVE THIS OMG AHHH
First of all, Luther is Thor. I will fight anyone at this. Discussion ended.
The vibes I get from Loki (the one potryated in Marvel), I would say Klaus's parent is also Loki. But when it comes to power, maybe Hades?
And yes, Diego is totally son of Bellona. He came out of the womb and chose violence.
AND BEN HAVING TARTARUS AS HIS PARENT IS A MAD POWERMOVE LIKE HELL YEAH IM ON IT. I'm not able to express how much I love it and agree on it, but the whole concept is perfect.
Bragi is Allison's dad, cuz of God of poetry. I wanted to say Hera, but I Bragi fits Allison better
Look, when it comes to Vanya, girl out doing oracles for free. She about to put the oracles sister out of business
When it comes to Five, not gonna lie I just goggle 'god of time Egyptian' just to throw some spice and got the god Huh. So either that or he son of Thor too, since Luther and Five are twins
Or maybe that post man god dude that got wings on his feet from the Hercules Disney movie
I never got to finish reading the Egyptian series of Rick so I'm so unfamiliar when it comes to Egyptian mythology I'm sorry, but do tell if there is some godly parent you think fits better with the siblings.
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fiveisnumber1 · 13 hours ago
Five: I have a plan!
Reader: You'll be safe, right?
Five:
Reader: …you'll be safe, right?
Five: Yes, you’ll be safe.
Reader: Not me, you. Will YOU be safe?
Five: Of course.
Reader: Good.
Five: You will be safe.
Reader: GOD DAMMIT FIVE
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justasociallyawkwardgeek · 13 hours ago
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Klaus: Trying to make protein shakes but they keep coming out as margaritas
Five: Can… can I have one?
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7crowsinadress · 15 hours ago
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Emerald eyes by the Orion experience but it’s Five Umbrellaacademy and Delores
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captain-valkyrie · 15 hours ago
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10 Days of Five Being a Total Sweetheart for His Partner
"Go to bed, Y/N." Five said, leaning against your desk.
"It's only two lines..." you murmured and yawned, half asleep.
"It's a whole paragraph. Finish it in the morning!" He said, unperturbed.
"Alright, alright!" You closed your laptop, shut the lights and went to bed.
The next morning, you woke up extra early to finish up your work. When you saw that it was already typed up, you looked towards the bed to see the perpetrator, softly snoring, out cold.
TUA Tags: @zerocanonlywriteshit @i-heart-fictional-boys
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actualtimetravelingcat · 15 hours ago
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AU where Five creates a time loop of the day he left, that his siblings relives and that will stop when they get him to not time travel, in an attempt to keep them all together cause he believes that´s what will save the world
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captain-valkyrie · 16 hours ago
Hi can you please do a five imagine where the reader is having a very bad day and five comforts her? Thank you kindly.
You Have a Bad Day Feat. Five Hargreeves
i'm soft. here you go! i did it in headcanon form because i didn't have the energy to write a fic.
-you slammed the door and rushed into the apartment.
-Five poked his head out of the kitchen where he was grabbing a cup of coffee, took one look and shook his head good-naturedly.
-"you okay?" he asked casually, but he really was worried.
-"i'm fine." you said, a little harshly. it was unfair to take it out on him; you knew that.
-Five shrugged, still suspicious, but went back to his coffee nonetheless.
-suddenly, a sob broke from the bedroom.
-he rushed into the room, finding you huddled with your back against the wall, crying your eyes out.
-"y/n? what's wrong?" he asked, scared.
-"i dropped my pen," you said, still crying. Five knew it wasn't that simple thing that made you so distraught, but he knew it must have been the breaking point.
-Five sat down next to you. "hey, it's okay. look, i got it. your pen's here. no harm done. rescue mission was successful," he said, smiling at his own bad attempt at humour. you choked out a laugh.
-"come on, i'll run you a bath. what do you say?" he asked, a little nervous. this was his first time dealing with things like this.
-"yeah. sure." you shrugged and got up.
-"and how about after that, you tell me who made you cry and i'll go pay him a visit, hmm?" Five said playfully.
-you gave him a playful shove. "okay, Casanova. tone it down a little."
-"hey, just taking care of my girl." he said, smiling.
-once you were done with your bath, he handed you a mug.
-you took a sip and made a face. "this isn't coffee."
-Five nodded. "Yeah, it's lavender tea." he scratched the back of his neck. "i read that it helps you relax."
-you smiled. "it's great."
-Five sat down next to you with his own cup of tea. "what happened?" he asked softly.
-you sighed. "I just had a really bad day. you know the drill: stupid co-workers, stuck up bosses, way too much work, way too little pay." you said, rolling your eyes at the last point.
-Five was quiet. and then: "i'm sorry you had to endure that."
-"hey, everyone has bad days."
-"that doesn't mean yours are any less invalid." Five huffed
-you just smiled softly and laid your head on his shoulder.
-"that offer to pay them a visit is still on the table, y'know." Five muttered.
-you laughed. "i don't want to talk about them right now. i want you."
TUA Tags: @zerocanonlywriteshit @i-heart-fictional-boys
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fivecentric · 16 hours ago
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S1E1: Five finishing off the last man alive, even though he’s clearly already injured and not that big of a threat
S2E10: Five laying down his weapon first, leaving him and his family vulnerable (despite not totally helpless)
So has something changed between these two moments? Five gaining new confidence with his newfound ability? He doesn’t want to kill in front of his family? 
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actualtimetravelingcat · 19 hours ago
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Difference is, they love me back
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chaoticwitch22 · 19 hours ago
Conversation
Five, pouring coffee: Why the f*ck did we let morning people set the world's operating schedule?
Allison: We did it while you were sleeping.
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