#-continues to rattle into the void about why this show sucked-

[diamondcitydarlin]

all personal feeling/preference aside, I really feel like one of the bigger cruxes of the shipping debates is caused by the confusing tonal switch the show takes around the end of episode 3 (I know this has been talked about to death but this is just my stream of consciousness rn ok). The Loki series starts off establishing the dynamic between Loki and Mobius; apart from Mobius and Ravonna's 'friendship', some interactions with B-15, and some expository moments with other TVA folks (like Casey), there aren't really any other focal characters or dynamics and it stays this way for the first two, rather lengthy episodes. The audience is essentially being told 'these are the two main characters of this story and it will begin and end with them and their dynamic', so this is doubly unfair to people who 1) may not have liked the dynamic bc idk why you'd think after watching the first 2 eps that the show would be about anything else other than this and a character journey for Loki (and time travel), 2) people who did like the dynamic because after the 2nd episode, guess what, it's not really a thing after that. You'd have no way of knowing that from the FIRST TWO EPISODES of a 6-part series.

It's not that Sylvie is inherently a problem- at least not to me, I love the idea of everything she could have been and that's generally how I think of her- it's that the show takes an abrupt turn from not only focusing the heart of the story around a particular dynamic, but it also begins to prioritize Sylvie's pain and struggle at the expense of literally every other character, including the two the show led us to believe were going to be the most important to the narrative. The set up in episodes one and two for this series to be an opportunity for Loki to take a hard look at himself and grow as a character as a result of his new circumstances is just about completely forgotten because it seems enough to the writers that he fall in love with a female version of himself that he met 12 hours prior- character development speedrun!! Once Sylvie shows up, everything in the show seems to readjust to orbit solely around her and the pain only she is justified to have. Which, honestly, would be FINE if they had just established from the first episode that this would be the direction of the show (soidknowtostopwatchinginthefirstfiveseconds). Maybe call it 'Sylvie' instead or make her more clearly the MCU version of Enchantress and give her her own series like Agatha.

anyway it creates endless roundabout arguments of who goes best with whom because...there isn't really a good answer to that in terms of what the show gave us (see: trash). The Loki that later falls head over heels in love with Sylvie and forgets his previous 500 personalities entirely isn't really the same Loki that had scenes with Mobius prior, because Loki was rendered to caricature playdoh that molded around whoever his scene partner happened to be and whatever goals Michael had in mind at the time. There isn't anything very consistent about him in his own namesake show, there is no real arc or linear growth we can track just, 'now he's this' and 'oh but now he's this' when it's not really clear how the character got from point a to point b.

That's not to say I didn't want to know about Sylvie and her pain- of course I did. I would so much rather have heard about and seen flashbacks of Sylvie's time in the palace, what her Thor was like, how deeply she grieves Frigga and how it drives her anger etc etc, I just wanted to see it depicted with the same approach as Loki's was, in that she isn't immune from being criticized by other characters or allowing the audience room to interpret her behavior for themselves rather than manipulating the narrative to frame her as justified in everything. If B-15, Mobius aNd Loki are made to look critically at themselves, so should she so as to be a fully three dimensional part of the ensemble.

This is also why I will maintain for the rest of time the Loki / Sylvie dynamic would have been better served as something platonic / more frenemy sibling-like at least at first...because for as much as the show REALLY WANTS Loki to hate himself, for as many chances as the show takes to make him cringe at his own behavior and that of his variants, they really did nothing in the way of explaining why Sylvie is not only an exception to the Lokis-hate-Lokis rule, she fucking makes one fall in love with her in matter of hours. How? I mean, they had fun banter and there was a suggestion of them eventually getting along better but nothing that would convince me true love happened right there on apocalypse planet, that now suddenly every motive that Loki has is purely, selflessly in favor of Sylvie, a presumed Loki variant that he has already expressed intimidation towards for being more elusive than him. (What happened to him feeling threatened by her...? He just kinda forgot I guess?) The only explanation is that she enchanted him and we'll find that out in season 2, but I'm not holding my breath. It'd be a dope twist tho tbh and would explain so much.

so idk, Loki (tv show) sucked, and that's mostly because it had every opportunity to be something new, refreshing, a show for more marginalized members of the Marvel viewer base, hell maybe even profound, and it took none of them 🙃

#antisylki #lokius #-continues to rattle into the void about why this show sucked- #-even tho it deserves none of my breath or time- #this is what happens when shows with so much potential fall flat #there is nothing worse!! #im tyra banks #I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU HOW DARE YOU

[starshipsofstarlord]

Bucky Making You Squirt For The First Time Whilst In Wakanda...

Warnings | smut, squirting, fingering, mentions of disability, angst, mentions of death and murder, swearing, insecure Bucky, overstimulation

Requested ✖️

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

There were many things that Bucky had to get to doing one handed. At first, it had taken some getting used to, he no longer had a silver grip to follow out orders with, or aid his other hand with, now that the prosthetic had been removed. Wakanda had wiped away any evidence from whom he had once been, except his mind, that was still a work in progress.

But with time, he had adapted to the disability within the calm nature that surrounded him. For the first time in his life, he felt safe, he had his own home, to which he shared with you, an avenger and an old friend of T’Challa’s. It was a simple hut, but it was something that brought him comfort, never needing to pretend to be someone else behind the walls, having an enclosure of reassurance, even if the structure had no door.

For the moment, he was alone, you had gone to the new king’s coronation, despite not being of birthright to the country. The people here accepted you, and from more than just your amorous connection to him, they had slowly but surely became well adversed with his presence, sending him meaningful, reassuring smiles, and allowing their kids to run around the perimeter of his plot.

With bright eyes, he had watched as you allowed the children to assort their paints, and stroke the colours of red, black and yellow as stripes upon your skin, accumulating you to their culture. Bucky had made no attempts to move closer, he was content with watching you run around with the children, laughing at their jokes, and telling them stories of your adventures out in the world.

They saw you as one of their heroes, that had partaken in training as a youngster by their best and now aged commanders. This was your home, and that in turn, made you insist that it was his also. Though, he knew that something would eventually ruin this little life that the two of you had began together in the midst of hiding, and that had kept him awake after you had left.

He had tried to lay upon the furs that were rolled around to make a floor bed, listening to the sounds of communicating birds, and playing ancestors of the great commanders, but he did not fathom to manage to rock himself into a slumber. And his eyes were still peeled as you returned, the sky having grown significantly darker, after the celebrations that you and Shuri had planned for her brother.

Your hand reached towards an encrusted leaf of water that acted as a bowl, dampening a rag as you began to swipe at the skin of your face. Out from the corner of the one room, Bucky walked over, taking the dampened material out of your hand, with his one, and helped you in cleansing your skin of the natural pigments that had been assorted into bright colours.

“Did you have fun?” He asked tenderly, as he washed the tribal cosmetics from your skin, feeling his heart swoon as you presented a great smile, filled with teeth, and softly nodded at his words.

“Yes, though, I cannot help but feel the void of T’Chaka. He’d ruled this place for so long, keeping it concealed from greedy eyes, and I have a nervous feeling for what lays ahead for T’Challa. He insists that I don’t have to get involved in the political sides of this place any longer, I am not needed to continue to be a protecter, but it was my purpose. I have no other path in my mindset of what I should do instead.”

After speaking, you breathed, leaning into Bucky’s gentle hand, lulling in the sentimental feeling of him looking after you. “You may be a warrior, but you are also my partner. Just lay with me a little longer before you go out and search for another fight, will you?” He put the wipe down, grasping your face in his palm, humming contentedly as you pressed kisses upon his rough and scarred skin.

“I think I could just go that.” You replied, weaving your hands through his locks, and undoing the knot of the small intricate bun that rested upon the various layers of his hair. A smile tugged at his beard, as he leant slowly down, encasing his prickly bordered mouth upon your own, as you reciprocated the action.

“Get on the bed doll.” He sweetly spoke, his lips brushing against yours, following after you as did as he said, going to roll on top of him, as was usually the position, considering his impediment, but Bucky shook his head, causing a furrow to sew itself between your brows. “Stay there.”

Trusting him, you nodded, allowing him to tug at your purple robe, to which you traditionally wore nothing beneath. His azure gaze locked onto your watching eyes, as he contently kissed down your torso, passing your navel, his lips over the curve of your mound.

Bucky had ate you ate countless times, but never in this position. Usually, you would clamber your weight atop of him, descending your pussy onto his mouth, as the both of you had thought that would be the easier solution to doing things. But he showed no struggle as his lips slipped down lower, his tongue teasing your clit, as he rested his chest upon the hay adorned ground.

He raised his hand, moving the flesh of his fingers between your folds, tugging at the lips, to open you up for his adventurous tongue to explore. His eyelashes fluttered, breaking his locked gaze of you, as he lulled in your taste, his administrations pulling moans out from your chests, as you tried to keep quiet, for there were sure to be children sleeping in the neighbouring huts.

“Bucky.” Once more, your hands cascaded through his long brown locks, tugging at the root, prompting a groan to rattle through the man that was going down on you. You swivelled your hips a little, helping him hit a deeper angle with that tongue of his, yelping lightly as he added a finger, and then another, stretching you open. “I’m going to cum James.”

He paid no mind to your words, continuing his enjoyable work, as he made you spill your loving essence over his tongue, lapping it up, before returning to your clit, sucking the bud behind his teeth, swirling his saliva around the pink accessory, whilst adding another two fingers, making you be filled with four.

The stretch was delicious. After the gruelling, not to mention worrisome day, that you had experiences, unwinding in such a simplistic, and euphoric way was definitely welcomed. Bucky always had the means to make you feel good, but the majority of the time, you would insist to go down on him instead, finding it fulfilling to apt your partner with such pleasure.

But here he was, returning all those favours, with his mouth and tongue, stimulating you closer to another orgasm, and having you on the verge of screaming, though, you had to bite your hand to contain such a sound. Otherwise, it’d ring out across the land, and the last thing you wanted was the Dora Milaje bursting in, thinking that someone was getting murdered.

The only thing being viscously attacked was your pussy, but you weren’t complaining as you whined wantonly, feeling yourself spill out with your juices again, screwing your eyes shut as he rubbed the bristles on his face against your clit, prodding your entrance with his tongue as he removed his fingers, his eyes beaming wide as you brought them up to your mouth, sucking on each one, moving them down to the back of your throat.

Bucky swore he’d bust right then. He shuffled away, discarding of the red material that he was often clothed in, revealing his hard cock, as he came to rest over you, after removing his digits from your hungry mouth. “Buck, don’t you want me to go on top?” Your chest raised as you asked the question, but he shook his head, only just managing to balance himself over you, as you tugged at his cock a couple of times, before swiping his head through the river of your slit.

The sensation caused your lover’s legs to buckle beneath him, as he struggled to uphold his weight, his head falling against the column of your neck as tears pricked at his eyes. Without any trouble, you rolled him over, climbing to be straddled upon his face, as you cupped the corners of his rugged face. You could still feel the soreness between your legs from his beard, and you loved the feeling. But the regard of pleasure could be paused for a moment, as you saw his blue eyes swimming with waves of emotion.

“Hey it’s okay baby.” You ushered him, feeling him trail his hand across your spine, pulling you closer. His puffy cheeks had turned red as he looked at you, almost as though he were embarrassed from his prone accident. “Why’d you try to be on top, I thought we spoke about that?”

“I just wanted to make you feel good.” He gulped, watching as your face dropped into a swarm of sadness and guilt. “I’m useless here, and it seems like the only thing I’m good at it brining you pleasure. But clearly I’m not that good at it if I can’t even put my own dick in you.”

“Don’t James, baby. You are not useless, you are free. The people here are helping you, and then, you’ll be able to do whatever you want with the road that will lay before you. It’s about patience my love.” You grasped the sides of his face so that he was forced to look directly at you. The trailing of his eyes, curving down your exposed chest and stomach did not go unnoticed, though you continued speaking to him. “And do not ever question how good you make me feel, even out of intercourse, you make me feel like the most important woman in the galaxy. It’s okay to need help sometimes, and that’s why I’m here with you James.”

Putting pressure upon your back, he tugged you down, colliding his lips against yours, the taste of yourself that was lingering on his tongue making you moan into his mouth. You slipped your tongue in his mouth, scouring out every angle behind his white teeth, as you once again took ahold of his shaft, tapping the reddened tip against your clit.

The feeling made you wince, already feeling over stimulated, though you could not deny that you wanted to feel all of him, so you shuffled back, raising your hips over his own, as you placed him at your entrance, and began to sink down on his hard cock.

“Fuck doll.” He gritted his teeth together, leaning back as he watched your face pleasurable grimace at the various sensations that were burning up your body. But nevertheless, you began to ride him, planting your hands on his shoulders as you swayed your hips against his. Bucky raised his hand, cupping your breast with it, and pinching your nipple, watching as your threw your head back, a single tear slipping out of the corner of your eye.

That pout that had encased itself on your mouth, as you bounced atop of him, made him lick his lips. Various sounds escaped your lips as you crashed your sore pussy down on his straining cock, wanting nothing more than to cum again.

You leant back, a light laugh escaping your throat as you braced one of your hands upon his tensing thigh, the other creeping down to rub your clit. Bucky felt his whole spark, as he refused to close his eyes so that he could watch you be illuminated by the oncoming orgasm that would soon be tearing through you, and the moonlight that seeped through the opening of the hut.

The man ran his large hand down your body, replacing your hand with his own, fiddling with your engorged clit as you squeaked out indicating sounds of pleasure, as he traced it with the tip of his nail. “Cum doll.” He spoke, his voice strained, as his hips thrusted up on their own accord.

A frown settled on your face as you grabbed at your tits, your breathing escalating to the point where your skin had grown tingly. And before you knew what had hit you, you came once more, but this time it was different. You had squirted, soaking Bucky’s thighs, splattering your clear juices through his pubic hairs, the liquid reaching the bottom of his belly.

“Oh my fucking god.” You stopped for a moment, as your head felt all hazy, leaning it back, for a minute, until you began rotating your hips again, your pussy constantly clenching around his shaft. He felt close, more so as you reached behind you with a free hand, and began tugging gently at the seam of his balls. “Fill me up baby, cum in- fuck!”

Another wave had hit you, it not taking long to reach after your previous three orgasms. It left Bucky no choice, his body followed its own whim as his balls fluttered, his head spluttering his cum inside your walls, leaving you lightheaded, and all over the place. A hum fell from your lips as you moved so that his softening and cum covered cock would fall out of you, laying on his chest, as you felt your pussy trying to keep all of his seed within you, though it failed to do so, as it ran down the inside of your leg, and trailed down Bucky’s own.

“So good.” You smiled, half drunk off of how many times you had cum. Bucky smiled, running his hand up your leg, to soothe and calm your muscles, before cupping your face, bringing it closer so that he could give you a tender peck upon the forehead.

“Go to sleep doll, I love you.” He brushed his dirtied fingers through your hair, smiling as he softly heard you mumble a reciprocating response, your head falling in the dip of his chest, you falling asleep, giving him one last piece of mind until the morning.

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x you #bucky barnes prompt #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan x reader #imagines #imagine #xreader #marvel smut #mcu smut #mcu x reader #mcu x you #mcu x y/n #Wakanda x reader #tfatws x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fandom #sebastian stan imagine #marvel x reader smut #james barnes smut

[willow-salix]

All I can say is sorry for this...

She was tired, so very tired, but still she paced the floor, trying to soothe the ear piercing wails that rattled the walls. How could something so small make so much noise and manage to rule an entire household? This was not something they ever told you when you were pushing your baby dolls around in their strollers and feeding them water that they would pee out later. That was an idyllic fantasy, one where you could stuff the baby in a toy box as soon as you got bored or were done playing and forget about it. She’d never had this trouble with the other two, but this one…

She bounced him gently in her arms, trying every trick she knew, everything she had learned while bringing up her babies, but nothing was working. Her husband, that despicable scumbag who had dared, DARED, to not be here when she needed him, was tucked away safely in space, leaving her to handle everything as she tried to cope with a 5 year old, a two year old and a teething five month old that just refused to be soothed or to sleep because his precious nightlight had broken.

She looked up to the dark ceiling, devoid of the swirling constellations that usually calmed him. He was one of the most lively, inquisitive and alert babies she had ever met, his eyes constantly on the move, always watching, taking in everything that was going on around him. 

He was usually a dream, quiet, calm and more than happy to be put down while she sorted breakfast or got one of his brothers dressed, unlike the other two. She’d lost count of the times she had come in to check on him in the night to find him wide awake, watching the little pinpricks of light projected above him, not having uttered a sound, perfectly content with whatever was playing in his own little head. Which was why she was having such a hard time now, she didn’t know what to do, she’d never had this trouble with him before.

“Please, baby,” she whispered, cradling him against her chest, feeling his angry little fists smacking at her shoulder as his body stiffened, going silent for a second as he sucked in another deep breath, ready to scream anew.

“Mommy?” a small voice called to her from down the hall. “Baby OK?”

“He’s fine, darling,” she called back, “just a little grumpy, try to go back to sleep.”

The baby screamed again, almost deafening her and once more.

“I can’t sleep, he’s too noisy.”

“Just try your hardest,” she called back, raising her voice to be heard over the wailing. To her surprise the baby actually quietened down, just a little. She looked at him in shock, would drowning him out actually work? 

She looked around for inspiration but the nursery contained nothing of the noisy variety, the baby not being fond of those sort of toys. She glared at the broken nightlight, the cause of all the trouble. The sight of it triggered something at the back of her mind, a long forgotten memory of a TV show she had watched with her Grandfather.

Desperate now she started to hum, finding that the tune was just as familiar now as it had been all those years ago. The baby lifted his head, staring at her as if she were crazy, but his wailing slowly faded into gulping sobs and then a quiet whimpering as he rubbed his tired eyes, his reddened, sore cheeks wet with tears.

The more she hummed the more came back to her and she found herself singing little snippets of the lyrics, the words growing clearer in her head as she repeated them over and over. She paced as she sung, moving from a bouncing rocking into a gentle swaying. The baby's head swayed with her, his eyes starting to droop.

I wish I was a spaceman.

The fastest guy alive.

I'd fly you round the universe,

In Fireball XL-5.

Way out in space together,

Conquerors of the sky,

My heart would be a fireball,

A fireball,

Every time I gazed into your starry eyes.

The baby’s head came to rest on her shoulder, his damp little face nuzzling into her neck, his hitching breaths having calmed into the soft, gentle breathing that she was used to.

We'd take the path to Jupiter,

And maybe very soon.

We'd cruise along the Milky Way,

And land upon the moon.

To our wonderland of stardust,

We'll zoom our way to Mars,

My heart would be a fireball,

A fireball,

If you would be my Venus of the stars.

The little body in her arms grew heavier as he finally gave in to the lure of sleep. She continued her gentle rocking, lulling him into a deeper slumber, singing for another ten minutes before her arms began to ache and she thought it might be safe to put him down.

Carefully, inch by inch she lowered the sleepy bundle into his crib, covering him with the light blanket and tiptoed to the door. Now to check on the other two and then the large glass of wine that was awaiting her.

She was halfway down the hall when the peel of the doorbell echoed through the house. Who could that be at this time of night? She broke out into a run, sprinting down the stairs, skidding in the hall as she grabbed for the door handle, desperate to stop whoever was outside from ringing again and shattering her hard earned peace.

“Mrs Tracy?” the delivery driver asked, squinting in the light that poured from the house.

“Yes?”

“Package for you, sign here.”

She scribbled her name on the screen he held out and took the offered package, thanked him and shut the door.

Curious, because she hadn’t ordered anything, she carefully opened the box, pushing aside the packing paper. Nestled inside was a brand new replacement for the broken nightlight.

“I take it back,” she whispered to the quiet of the house, “you aren’t that bad a husband, after all.”

She crept back into the baby’s room and unplugged the broken one, swapping it out for the new. A press of a button and once again the ceiling lit up with twinkling, swirling pinpricks of light.

She brushed a gentle hand over the soft mop of red hair that topped his head.

“Look, Johnny, Daddy sent you a present.”

-x-

“It’s OK, Allie, it’ll be alright,” Scott soothed, jiggling his baby brother in his arms as the toddler continued to wail as if his heart was breaking, which was pretty close to the truth. “It’s gonna be OK, just please, settle down.”

He’d been walking the little boy up and down for the past hour and nothing, but nothing, was working to settle him. He was still crying, a tired, wailing scream that tugged at the heartstrings and pierced the ears at the same time and honestly, Scott was only just resisting the urge to join him. 

How were they supposed to cope on their own? How were they supposed to go on without the person that mopped up their tears and kissed their pain away? How were they supposed to go on when the pain they were feeling was because she wasn’t there?

“Please, Allie,” he whispered, “please go to sleep, I don’t know what you want, I don’t know what to do.”

His brother declined to answer him, his face as red as a tomato as he sobbed, his little legs kicking as he tried to break free of Scott’s hold.

“I know,” Scott sighed, “I know you don’t want me, you want her, I do too. I wish she was here, I wish-”

“Let me try,” a soft voice offered.

Scott turned to see his middle brother standing in the doorway, the light from the hall painting his tired, drawn face with stark shadows.

“You forgot his nightlight,” John murmured as he crossed over to switch on the little glowing orb that would project its blanket of stars onto the ceiling, although there was no accusation in his tone, just the same weary acceptance as Scott’s.

Alan’s sobs stopped abruptly, his eyes drawn to the ceiling and the gently revolving lights that made up a galaxy above their heads. Wordlessly Scott handed over the toddler.

Instead of standing with him John settled himself in the nursing chair that their mother always used. Scott swallowed the lump in his throat at the sight of someone else sitting there, in her spot, taking her place. 

It hurt, more than he could put into words. This shouldn’t be happening, they shouldn’t be going through this, she should be there with them. 

Scott turned for the door, unable to keep standing there, unable to watch as his brother attempted to fill a tiny part of the gaping void that had opened up in their lives.

He pushed the door closed, leaning his head against the door frame as the soft, low sound of his brother’s voice floated on the air.

I wish I was a spaceman, the fastest guy alive...

#thunderbirds #thunderbirdsarego #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderwhump #John Tracy #Scott Tracy

[cassiecasyl]

stay (said the ghost to the living)

I missed writing irondad. 

prompts: @whumpay2021 day 1: “I thought you were dead” + day 28: chains relationship: Peter Parker & Tony Stark summary: There’s chains holding him to life, saying it’s not his time yet. 

read on ao3! 

~~~

There had been a scream, Peter remembered as much. The concrete had been hard under his body as pain faded. A few tears had still burned in his eyes. The cold had come from the chain wrapped around his right ankle, the one he was now holding in his hands, and had spread over his whole body. There had been a scream so loud it rattled through his bones, so loud it could’ve woken the dead. 

Now, he was walking in a dream. Colors and shapes blurred together even though there was no wetness on his cheeks. His eyes just wouldn’t focus. Distorted sounds sometimes made it through, but never a word. He was alone. 

It must’ve been a while since it happened, whatever it was, because their surroundings had changed from dark and muddy grey to bright and sterile white. There was the light that always blinded Peter when he was in medbay— wait. Medbay. Someone was hurt. Please, no, don’t let it be— He sucked in a breath that wizzed right through his body as he turned around, the chain in his hands rattling anxiously while he looked around. 

Peter stood next to a bed, the room abandoned except for two — no, three, there was somebody in the bed, he couldn’t see, can’t see, can’t see, who is it? — figures. Somebody was watching him. They stood close to the door, as if they weren’t sure whether they were intruding. But also, where they could overlook the whole room. Peter narrowed his eyes, focusing on them. A blob of red, a frown framing sharp, scary and knowing eyes. Nat. Peter almost wanted to smile at her, to celebrate his vision finally focusing and because she would know what happened, but then he noticed the tear tracks on her usually stoic face. No. The teenager’s eyes widened in fear. 

He took a step back and raised his arms in an attempt to get away from under her scrutinizing gaze. Clattering noise shook his body— he had forgotten the chain in his hands. Nat’s eyes narrowed further. “Mrs Romanoff?” Peter whispered, but no air passed his lips. What had he done? Then, her eyes left him to search the room and Peter could feel himself fading. 

The only thing keeping him anchored to reality it seemed was the cold iron touching his fingers, grounding him, linking him to the very ground he was standing on, or maybe to hell. Peter didn’t know. They shuddered with him, shattering against its parts, one by one. This time, the hunched over figure by the bed looked up. 

Peter was found in those brown eyes, the very same color as his, just a tad darker, but something was wrong. His face was fallen, devastated, looking out with utter hopelessness and barely contained anger — the bad taste grief left. “Mr. Stark?” he asked, but was drowned out by the man’s breaking voice. 

“Stop it, Nat.” 

“I’m not doing anything,” the spy answered. 

“I don’t care,” Tony mumbled, returning his gaze to the body lying on the bed. Peter ventured closer, chains clanking and fingers itching to give his mentor comfort. “What’s that noise then?” Tony barked, not bothering to hide his frustration. 

Peter stopped short as he noticed who was lying there. It wasn’t possible. 

“I’m trying to figure that out.” 

They were mourning him. But— he was here, alive, wasn’t he? He looked down his body, but his vision was blurring again. Alive. His bones were freezing, bidding him a good night. Alive. Peter reached out to Tony, fingers leaving his burial iron in favor of the Iron Man. How could they not? Instead of stopping at the man’s shoulder though, they continued, invincibly, through his skin and flesh. In horror, he retreated his hand, mustering it under the unforgiving light of the medbay. He looked up at Tony. His mentor never even noticed. 

Dead. He was dead. How? The more he tried, the less came up. Where once was a beat, now silence reigned. Peter cried out devoid of tears. Where once was air, now was a void, and Peter knew he’d collapse into it, into himself. Why couldn’t he breathe? There was a black hole in his middle, and the more he struggled, the more it took, but he couldn’t stop. He shuddered and with him that damn, chattering chain. 

“What the hell?” Tony asked, more awake now, staring straight through him. His eyes could’ve been lasers, as much as it hurt. 

Chattering? Hold on— 

Natasha moved through the room, approaching and then walking away again, almost touching as she walked by. Peter already yearned for human touch. He was suffocating in space’s vacuum. Warm comfort was right next to him, yet he could never reach it. He was Tantalus in his pool deep down in Tartarus, never quite reaching the delicious fruit hanging above his head. He was so cold. 

They returned, stopping right in his center, somehow avoiding the black hole. It was impossible. He was burning up, his ice fighting the sudden human heat. Who was she? Peter blinked. He was swaying in and out of reality. Mom? No, why would he see his mom, she died when he was four, plane crash, remember? The reason why he never really trusted planes anymore. That, and Coney Island. Yes, he remembered. He was here. No reason his mom would be here, unless he was— oh. He was dead. 

“It’s definitely coming from here,” Natasha determined, and Peter grasped her identity. Nat. Mrs. Romanoff. Black Widow. Spider-Mama, as Clint had one time called her, imitating a Russian accent. After the glare Nat had sent him, no one dared to repeat the words. Later, she had teased Clint on his hilariously bad accent work. 

She was still standing inside him, and Peter could hardly imagine a more uncomfortable feeling. The shiver working through his body translated into hers and she stepped away, rubbing her arms. Peter breathed in relief only to once again realize that air was indifferent to him. Afterlife sucked, he decided. 

“Since when are there cold spots in the compound?” she asked. Mr. Stark frowned. 

Chattering, Peter thought again. Chattering. There was something— right, morse code! He almost hit himself on the head because damn his slow undead brain — was it undead? He’d established that he was dead, but how could he be standing here if he was braindead? Why was he still lying in a hospital bed instead of the morgue? Had Mr. Stark not given him up yet? FRIDAY would surely pick up his brain waves. There was nothing science could really tell Peter about this. It would be exciting if it wasn’t so frightening and lonely. Noisy rattling interrupted his thinking. 

He moved his chains around until he could clank two of its parts together rather than the whole thing sounding. It should work that way. Peter waited a calming moment before he began to bring them together with a dinging noise. Two short — I. Two long — M. Pause. Four short — H. One short — E. Short, long, short — R. One short again — E. Pause, and repeat. Two short — I. Two long — M. Pause. Four short — H. One short — E… 

“That’s morse code,” Nat said suddenly, bringing Peter back from the trance the dinging had brought him in. “‘I’m here.’ It says, ‘I’m here.’” 

“‘I’m here’?” Tony repeated. “Who’s ‘I’? Is this some kind of sick joke?” There was fear in his eyes now, masked with anger. Peter almost jumped. He stopped. 

“No, Mr. Stark!” he said in desperation, “It’s me! It’s Peter!” Then, remembering his voice, he morsed. Long, short; three long — NO. 

“No? What’s that supposed to mean?” Tony stood up now, towering over him in anger, and Peter stumbled back. He remembered a scream rattling his bones in a way his chains could never achieve. He remembered the cold entering his body and nothing stopping it. He remembered how his vision became spotty before the black color filled it all. He remembered waking up. I’m here. 

“I’m sorry,” Peter mumbled, closing his eyes and letting a tear fall. It burned his icy skin as it ran down his cheek and along his skin in search of a good jumping point. Finally, it left him. Wait— he’d felt it. He was crying. There was water in his eyes. He blinked them open only to find the two adults in the room staring at him. 

Awkwardly, he waved his hand, and the chain rattled along. Tony blinked. “This isn’t real,” he said, falling back into his chair next to Peter’s bed, never leaving the ghost of his kid out of sight. They could see him. Peter grinned. They could see him. 

“Oh, you’re a Shaniac. Good to know if this ever happens again,” Peter joked into the tense room. Nat let out a near-manic chuckle, and Tony only stared. Fear had turned to amazement and hope and a tear left his left eye. 

It was Peter’s turn to blink at his mentor. “You can hear me?” he asked, uncertainty lacing his tongue. A smile grew on Tony’s face and Peter couldn’t help but grin back. 

“Whatever a Shaniac is, it’s good to hear your voice, kid.” He stood up again and opened his arms in invitation. However much Peter would’ve loved to jump right into the hug, he couldn’t. He held him back with his hand, lightly touching Tony’s hand to show him. His illusioned hand went right through Mr. Stark’s solid body, just as expected. 

“No touch. Sorry.” As he looked back up at Mr. Stark, there were tears in his eyes. It was like watching his heart break all over again, and Peter choked on air that still refused to enter his lungs — it was as afraid as he was of the void there.  

Tony stepped back and Peter looked to the ground. “FRI, Give me footage of this room. Now!” Peter flinched a little at the harshness in Mr. Stark’s voice, but eventually came closer to spy on the footage too. FRIDAY had immediately designed Mr. Stark a holoscreen, only giving a quick verbal confirmation — “Right away, Boss.” 

They watched themselves sitting and standing there. It was almost dull and pointless, except for knowing where the cameras were. Instead of Peter, a glowing bulb hung in the air. The boy moved a little, watching how the ball followed his movements. “Cool,” he whispered. 

Tony glanced up at him. If he was surprised by Peter’s sudden proximity, he didn’t show it. “Ghost?” he asked. 

“Ghost,” Peter confirmed with a nod. It was the only possible explanation. 

Tony sighed. “Oh, for fu— goodness’ sakes, why must it be you to prove me wrong here?” he lamented and Peter chuckled. 

“Told you you’re a Shaniac.” 

“I still don’t know what that means,” the genius admitted, and Peter shared a quick, knowing look with Nat. “Now get the hell over here and back into your body!” 

“Tony,” Mrs. Romanoff said while Peter obliged, “are you sure this is gonna work?” Her voice was gentle yet stern, as if trying to soften a blow or stop someone from doing something stupid. It was hard to tell which one. 

“It’s worth a try,” Tony replied. 

Peter lay down into his body, but there was nothing. He could’ve just as well laid down on the ground. There was no uncomfortable feeling like with Nat, now heat spread from a living body. Nothing. He tried to connect, but there was nothing to connect to, all the links were dead. 404, not found. He could cry. 

He sat up again, leaving his body on the sheets, much to everyone’s disappointment. “Do you think you could try again?” Tony asked, the hope in his voice almost unbearable. He was set on this, and there was nothing that could make him veer from this path. 

“No,” Peter sighed, “I’m sorry. There’s just… nothing,” he explained. 

“I’m going to contact Doctor Strange,” Natasha announced with a new-found determination. She briefly squeezed Mr. Stark’s shoulder before leaving. 

“I’m sorry,” Peter said again, only to be intervened by Mr. Stark. 

“No. No, kid. It’s okay. We’re gonna find something that works. And if not… Well, then, at least you're still here in this form.” Peter nodded, looking up at the tired and red eyes of his mentor. “And no ‘if this ever happens again.’ Because if this ever happens again, I’m gonna kill you myself. Or worse, I’m gonna call your aunt.” 

Peter blinked. “You haven’t called May?” 

Tony’s eyes found the side of the bed. “No,” he sighed heavily, “I wanted her to find out from me, but I— I just couldn’t. Not yet, anyway.” Peter could hear the tears in his breaths. 

“How long?” he asked. 

“A few— a few hours.” 

Peter nodded. Then, he drew Mr. Stark’s attention by waving his hand where he stared at. “Well, good news is, you’ve still got me around to annoy you.” 

Tony let out a broken laugh, but there was love in it. “God, kid, one day you’re gonna be the death of me.” It was a rupture in the small comfort they’d found. Tony on the ground, bleeding out, his helpless hands stupidly shaking as they tried to stop the flow. It was too late though. The light had already left his eyes. There was no going back. The teen tensed, staring up with big, unseeing, startled eyes; almost dead, or just hanging barely onto life. No. His father, Richard; Ben; not Tony, too. He knew it was meant as a joke, but the image wouldn’t leave his mind. He knew how close death was, how it hit when you least expected it. Hell, he was dead, right at this very moment. 

Tony seemed to sense his kid’s distress because he began apologizing. “No, kid, I’m sorry. God, this was stupid, I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t meant it, Peter—” 

It was a drowning noise in his ears. No, no, no. He had just become real again, he didn’t want to go back to the dream, to the fading realm where he was all alone. Where Tony mourned him. Where he couldn’t protect him, only watch without understanding. “Don’t die, please?” his voice was suddenly that of a scared kid — high-pitched and teary. He swallowed a sob. “Promise me?” 

“Well, everybody’s gotta die at some point, nothing’s immortal—,” Tony started with a sigh, but at the sight of his kid’s big, pleading puppy eyes, he stopped. “I promise,” he assured him. Anything for this kid.  

tag list: (let me know if you wanna be added/removed!) @starrynightdeancas @spookyscarykittycat @sherlockwhomentalist @lost-lunar-wolf @aixabi @peter-is-a-bean 

#irondad #Whumpay2021 #ghost peter parker #tony stark #spidermom #natasha romanoff

[k7l4d4]

Wander Over Yonder Hypothetical Season 3/Sequel Ideas: Lord Dominator

Hello all, today I’ve decided to revisit one of the greatest, yet underappreciated, Disney Shows of all time, Wander Over Yonder. Beloved by many, with the creators wanting to make the show more than just a time-slot filler, the show was none-the-less ordered canceled by the Network, ending plans for the future, though maybe not permanently if Craig McCracken has anything to say about it. Anywho, this is my thoughts on what a season 3 for the show, or a sequel, could look like. Everybody clap your hands!!

I will detail how I think each of the known main characters would be like in Season 3/the sequel, starting with Dominator. Note, I will be basing this off of notes and hints from creators, but it won’t necessarily follow along with what they had planned.

Picking up where the show left off, with her marching off in a huff through the void of space (it makes sense in context), Dominator... is angry, stressed, and has no clue what she is actually doing. She’s lost everything, and the only things she has are the clothes on her back and some fruit she snagged from Wander’s gift basket to her. Dominator’s place in the story, to me, would mostly deal with how the loss of everything would affect her life and her status in the galaxy. She can’t just run off somewhere else and avoid the consequences too her actions anymore, as she presumably did in the past. Now, she has nothing but her brains and her fighting skills, which she will definitely need.

While most of the galaxy is content with trying to rebuild after her rampage, some of the more spiteful and thuggish personalities feel like laying into the intergalactic bully. In between trying to find her footing in the new galaxy, Dominator is often routinely attacked by mercenaries, bandits, and just everyday punks. While she at first enjoys the fights, seeing them as a nice breakup to her new normal and a way to distract herself from her problems, the nonstop barrage gradually wears on her, until she finally snaps and demands why “all you losers keep coming after me!? It’s not even fun anymore!!”

The answer she gets? Because they can. People in the galaxy, bar those who’ve been directly touched by Wander’s kindness and empathy, HATE Dominator, and have no problem with making her life more miserable than it already is because they can do so without repercussions. Most of those who are attacking her know they don’t stand a chance against her, and are just doing so because it makes her life more difficult, if only marginally. Despite her best efforts to hide it, the confirmation that people so deeply despise her that they are willing to get beaten senseless just to mildly inconvenience her is deeply rattling to the dangerous woman.

Dominator often runs into Wander, Hater, Sylvia and the rest fairly regularly, or at least semi-regularly, and gets sucked into whatever shenanigans are currently going on, much to her frustration. Hater often lords her losses over her, being obnoxious and overbearing about it all even when Dominator pummels him for it. Sylvia is slightly hostile but ultimately dismissive of Dominator, focusing more on whatever is currently going on and brushing off Dominator at every chance, much to her ire. Wander, much to Dominator’s continued surprise, is just as kind, friendly, and patient as ever, and while still attempting to befriend her, he often is less overbearingly attentive and in her face about it.

Due to not having to deal with Wander’s shenanigans being aimed at herself anymore, Dominator is more at ease around him, occasionally letting slip bits and pieces about her past and herself, though she’ll immediately double back and deny it, not that it ever fools Wander. To go along with the official plans, my theory is that Dominator didn’t have any particularly tragic backstory; she was just a lonely kid who had trouble connecting with others, not helped by her interest in less than savory topics, subjects, and hobbies. 

As she got older, and still remained isolated, Dominator grew more angry and aggressive with others, and when she saw that it not only made her feel better when she let her feelings out but that it also caused people to finally notice and pay attention to her, which filled her with glee. As she got older, Dominator kept escalating, looking for bigger and bigger ways to lash out, to get the attention she craved and release her pent up anger and aggression, not to mention her genuine enjoyment of destruction, violence, and so on. In the end, I believe Dominator never grew up from that lonely girl who no one paid attention to or wanted around.

I firmly believe that Dominator will eventually agree to Wander’s offer of friendship because, in the end, it’s all she ever wanted, people who were there for her, who cared about her, and so on. It’s helped by the fact that every so often she remembers the looks on the people’s faces during that final battle, the looks of tentative hope, empathy, understanding, and kindness. She won’t agree at first, or even soon. The wound is to raw and her pride won’t allow it. But she will eventually reach out, either on her own, or on one of the many attempts Wander will doubtlessly make to befriend her. I’d like to think it would happen around either the halfway point of the season/sequel, or at the three-quarters mark.

I am also a Death Star, that is to say Wander x Dominator, Shipper, but that has no bearing on what I think S3/the Sequel would be like.

#wander over yonder #woy season 3 #wander over yonder sequel #wander over yonder season 3 #wander over yonder ideas #lord dominator #lord hater #sylvia wander over yonder #wander wander over yonder #commander peepers

[munku-collar]

Macavity was always possessive, right from the start. His jealousy, earned early on, and his covetous nature only seemed to worsen the older he got. It still worsens today. He holds on to things: treasures, territory, people. He holds on to everything he can, petrified by the prospect of losing it, of being left with scraps, trying to build something in his heart, trying to fill the void, sate the hunger that he knows he can’t. He never can.

He held on to Demeter. He held on as long as he could, and often too tightly. She knew why, right from the start. It was desperation, the threat of abandonment, the need for stability that made him press himself against her back, drag his paws across her midsection and hold her close at night. He always purred loud enough to make her ears rattle.

It was a palpable kind of fear, well hidden from others who couldn’t look at him as closely as she did, which made him like this. It made him snarl at other toms who so much as looked at her wrong, made him never stand more than a few steps away. It made him lavish her with gifts, made him cradle her face in his massive paws, and made her feel loose and lightheaded from the intensity of his gaze. He never admitted this fear, never would, but he could hide nothing from her. She knew. She always did. (He still curses himself for it.) 

He never slept well, really, his entire life. There was never any rest in it. He never knows rest, not without her. Lying there with her in his arms was the closest he ever came to...peace.

And she never minded the way he seemed to suck the air out of the room when they were together, the heat and weight of him against her, the slight sting of his claws when something unpleasant crossed his mind, when that fear made him hold on a little tighter than he needed to. She liked to be held. She wanted to be held. No one had ever held her before, and she had been so sure no one ever would again. 

When they lay in their den on dark nights, exhausted but still awake somehow, in those moments where the emerald of his eyes seemed to grow softer and he whispered words for only her to hear, she imagined his grasp to be divine, to leave designs on her heart that could never be erased. He in turn imagined she was his, and his alone, and that she was made for him, for him to possess. 

But she never really was. Neither of them knew it. Or maybe they did. 

He always made her chest ache, made her paws tremble for a reason she couldn’t fathom. He kissed desperately, deeply, as if each one taken was the last, and she would suddenly vanish into thin air in front of him. 

“I’m here,” she would whisper, and he’d hold on tight. 

Even in his anger he held on tight, held onto her as if she were a lifeline, as if she were the only thing in this world worth having. He had so much anger, so much violence in him, and still does. It boiled under his skin, burned him up from the inside out. It consumed him, and he let it out often and loudly, dangerously, used it against anything and everyone, but never her. Never her. 

He’s killed, he’s maimed; he has walked away from fights with bloody paws, delighted in the whimpers, the last breaths of those who got in his way, those who he couldn’t hold on to or didn’t want to hold on to. He has laughed as they’ve cried, as they’ve begged. He continues to do so today. The thrill of it, the relief of it all, the rest it gives him, indulging in the suffering of others, in taking what he deems is rightfully his never faded, even when she held him back, convinced him to show restraint, even mercy on occasion. 

It made him angry, and still does, that she could do that to him. It doesn’t make sense. He shouldn’t want to hold onto her so tightly, shouldn’t bend to her whims. He has worked so hard to be strong, to take control, to earn himself stability. How can someone both grant it to him and take it away? How can he need her so badly? The frustration of it will never leave him. 

He hates her. He loves her. He hates her because he loves her. He hates needing her. He always let his hatred out behind her back. A kiss for her, a slash of claws for another.

For a while after she left, he convinced himself he didn’t need her. He convinced himself that the violence is enough, that the treasure hoard he sits on is more than enough to hold on to, to stave off the desperation, the possessiveness which has haunted him his entire life. He tells himself he isn’t afraid, and that he has everything he needs. The trinkets fit in his paws. He can hold on to them forever.

But his paws are still empty. They’re empty, without her. His weakness, his need for her, to hold on to Demeter is stronger than every distraction, every lie and balm he has granted himself. It’s a thirst, a compulsion that trumps every instinct, twists him inside out. He burns with it, as he burned the first time he set eyes on her, or the first time she looked into his eyes, and told him she loved him. She is the exception of all, and always has been. She’s a damnable curse. She’s a divine punishment. She... is. 

‘Ridiculous,’ he thinks with disgust, all the while tightening his paws into fists, letting his claws dig so deep they hurt.

He’s angry. He’s furious. He’s desperate. He wants nothing more than to be rid of her, to scratch at his flesh until the memory of her fur against his fades entirely. He’s familiar with pain. It has been his constant companion, even before she ruined his life. He will gladly suffer more of it, will take a thousand bruises and scars and the taste of blood in his mouth, so long as the vice squeezing his dark heart disappears. It never will.

He wants to treat her as he does everyone else, wants to delight in her suffering, in playing with her, and making her feel a fraction of the suffering he feels. He wants to let go of her. No; he wants to hold her. He wants to hold on tightly enough that she finally breaks in half in his grasp. 

But he still can’t bring himself to hurt her even now. The violence isn’t for her. Never her.

The scar he left on her hip haunts him. He can still smell the blood, thinks about the look in her eyes when it happened. She had trembled as he licked the wound. It had been an accident. She knows that. It never happened again. He never let it happen again. Somehow that doesn’t matter.

He doesn’t get any rest. 

Her last kiss, granted years ago, lingers on his lips. Her rising disappointment in him, her fear, and the hatred which she holds for him now, haunts his dreams. 

He still haunts hers. 

#i dont even know if this is coherent im all over the place tonight #how do words good #demecavity #demeter #cats demeter #demeter cats #my shit #macavity #macavity the mystery cat #cats 1998 #cats the musical #toxicccccccccccc #oh lordy macavity get some therapy challenge #tragic toxic bitch #JH

[xbellaxcarolinax]

Forging A Heart (Ivar the Boneless) 6- Trapped

Pairings: Ivar x Artemis (OFC)

Word Count: 2175

Warnings: Ivar being mean

AN: Thank you all for the love ☺️

5- Replaceable

...

Helga's normally nimble fingers struggled to work intricate braids into Artemis's hair. The girl sat sulking at the older woman's feet, watching the dancing flames of the hearth in a trance like state, her mind voided of all thought.

Helga and Floki had a humble home. It was by no means as extravagant as the home of the Prince's or the Queen, but something about it put her in a calmer state. Perhaps it was Helga's motherly warmth, or the soft furs arranged across the floor, comfortably tickling her palms.

Or perhaps it was the view of the sea, and how close to an escape there was.

Artemis snorts to herself. Impossible.

"Really child, you have wild hair," Helga interrupts her thoughts with a tug of her hair. She uses her fingers to separate the knots before tightening the braid, making Artemis howl in pain.

Helga insisted on these hairstyles. Why? She thought them more pleasing to the eye. That was enough to make Artemis scoff. She clearly didn't care about her hair. What slave would?

Another knot was separated followed by another whine of pain.

"Keep still!"

"That hurts!" Helga clicks her tongue, swatting away at the girls probing hands.

One could say they had formed a relationship, as bizzare as it was. Helga was renowned for her nurturing soul, and after the death of her daughter Angraboda, she wanted so much to give that affection to another. No one could ever replace her late daughter, but she had grown a fondness for Artemis, even if the girl fought against it.

After a few moments of bickering, Artemis finally relents, letting Helga continue to finish her braiding.

"There," The older woman tells her, "You now look like a proper Viking woman," She spoke with pride, examining her work.

"I'm no Viking," Artemis mutters, renouncing the idea. She felt she was slowly losing herself.

"Well, you're close enough to it now. You look lovely," Helga ignores the bitterness in the girl's voice, moving to reach for a well polished copper plate. She holds it in front of her so that she may inspect the braids properly.

Artemis blinks, her eyes following the blurred lines of her reflection on the tinted copper. It had been so long since she'd seen herself, she almost didn't recognize her own face. At first glance she noticed her cheekbones were much more prominent than usual. She brings a hand to her face and touches her oddly pale skin. There was a darkness under her eyes, revealing her many sleepless nights. The only beauty she could see was her hair, pulled to the side in little neat braids right above her ear. It was the neatest her hair had been in such a long time.

"How do you like them?" Helga asks, a smile stretching over her lips.

"They're...nice," Artemis replies sadly, turning away from the copper plate, "Thank you." Helga nods, standing to go and tend to the dying fire.

"I'm surprised Ivar allows you to come visit," Helga comments, adding a log into the flames, "Ivar can be quite...unpredictable."

"He doesn't know I come here," The girl mutters her reply, knowing she'd be remprimanded, "The Prince is an absent master." Helga slowly turns to face her, bringing a hand to her hip as she makes a noise of disapproval.

"You're looking for a scolding. Edda doesn't look for you?"

"If she can't find me, she can't bother me. She doesn't like me very much either,"

"And you wonder why?" Helga questions. Artemis looks away from her stern look, not wanting to see the disappointment in her eyes. Instead she stands and stretches her aching bones from another sleepless night plagued by the usual thoughts, except now they included Ivar.

"Artemis, why haven't you understood your place here?" Helga began with a great sigh, "You are a slave. I may show you favor, but it doesn't mean the rest will. Busy yourself, show yourself to be dutiful, and perhaps you may gain favor, perhaps even Ivar's favor,"

The fair haired woman steps to her small kitchen table, putting aside a piece of bread and cheese in a cloth. She offers it to the girl, now standing by the fire.

"Here," Helga urges, grabbing her hand and placing the bundle of food in her palm.

"What's this?" Artemis eyes the bundle.

"For you. You're getting thinner giving what little you get fed to the monks."

"How do you know about that?" She questions her, brows arched in genuine confusion.

"Because I've seen you, silly girl," It was usually in the early mornings when Artemis scurried off, handing out the little food she could acquire to the monks, often seen building the fortifications around Kattegat that Queen Lagertha had implemented. She did what she could, and in return they added her name to their prayers in the hopes that God would listen.

"I don't deserve your help, Helga," She tells the older woman, a sadness lacing her words. It was moments like this in which Artemis knew she should be kinder to Helga. She thanked God for sparing her a kind woman among the heathens.

"Nonsense," The older woman replies with her usual smile. Artemis's eyes glossed over, but before she could express words of gratitude, the door rattled open revealing Floki and her crippled master.

Ivar and Artemis immediately lock eyes, a silent battle between his angry seas and her dark endless pools. He was ready to bark at her, his lips already molding into a disapproving frown, but Floki interrupts him with a loud sigh, removing his belt of tools and tossing it to the side.

"Helga, dear wife, what have I told you about bringing this girl under our roof?" He seemed tired saying it, as if they've argued about such a topic many times before. He glares at Artemis before walking over to the small table, sitting on the chair with a grunt while Helga poured him a cup of ale.

"She only came to visit me, Floki, do not be so horrid," She defends, being mindful of Ivar the entire time. It was as if she were pleading with her eyes for him not to hurt the girl.

"So Helga," Ivar begins, "It seems my slave enjoys your company. I hope she isn't a burden to you," He glances at Artemis from over the cup of ale that was offered to him. He eyes her braids but does nothing more.

"She is no trouble, Ivar. She's a kind girl," Ivar snorts unbecomingly at this, looking towards Floki who snorted as well.

"There is nothing kind about Christian's, Helga. They hate us, and wish to destroy us,"

"He lies," Artemis quietly counters, her fingers curling into fists. There was an eerie silence after that as all eyes snapped at her.

"What?" Floki seethes, his tone malicious. Artemis remains quiet after that, mentally scolding herself for speaking in the first place.

"Don't be shy," Floki taunts, his fingers gripping his cup tight, "Speak. Up." Artemis swallows hard, her heart thumping in her chest rapidly.

"It is your people who wish to destory...and it is your people who hate, and kill," In her fear she whispers clumsily, but the malice in her voice could be detected. She makes her point quite clear. Floki's eyes were icy, the black khol around the rims giving them a deadly look. Helga steps forward, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder in a form of comfort.

"Mind your words, or it is not just Ivar who will hurt you," Helga whispers, glancing over at her husband who gulped down his drink quickly, turning to look down towards Ivar.

"Control your slave, Ivar, she has quite the mouth on her,"

"I'm coming to realize that," Ivar huffs with a roll of his eyes. He sets the cup down, dragging himself to the door, "I apologize on her behalf, Floki, she is simple minded. I will see she is dealt with. Let's go slave, there is much work to do," Artemis relunctantly steps away from Helga's comforting touch, turning to look at her with sad eyes before following her master out the door.

...

Ivar barges into his chambers just as Artemis illuminated the last of the candles. She jumps in fright, nearly dropping the flame. It seemed everyone intended to sneak up on her.

"Did you think your disrespect would go unpunished?" He spits out. She looks down at him, his expression souring by the second. She blew the match out quickly, placing her hands behind her back, remaining silent.

"Now is when you choose to keep your mouth shut?" He sucks his teeth, "Bring it in," Ivar moves aside, letting two male thralls bring in a crate. Artemis stares at the object, giving it a hard look before coming to the realization that it was same the crate from the monestary.

Ivar forces the thralls out as soon as they settled the box on the floor, dragging a stool and climbing up to sit on it.

"Move the lid," He commanded her, drumming his fingers over his knee in habit. She hesitates at first until finally approaching it slowly. The wood was decaying and it's original color was tarnished, dark and muddy from travel. She did as ordered, pushing the lid enough to see the emptiness on the inside.

"Good," Ivar smiles darkly, "Now get inside," Artemis shoots him a look of confusion.

"Do you not understand?" He mockingly feigns confusion, using a hand to point to the box, "Get. In." She gives him one last glance, listening to how he stressed the syllables before obeying, gathering her skirts clumsily in her hands and stumbling inside.

"Look at that, she's obedient," Ivar mutters with a roll of his eyes. He motions for her to sit down before continuing,"Is this crate familiar to you?" He smiles again, but this time, it was in genuine amusement. He treated everything as a game.

Artemis glares, but she nods, not wanting to upset him further. Sitting im there was as uncomfortable as the first time, her knees already scrapping painfully against the tough wood.

"I know how fond you are of being in boxes," Ivar chuckles, suddenly slamming the lid with a force that startled her. She let's out a shriek, searching for Ivar's face through the cracks in the wood. She starts to bang on the sides of the wood in a panic.

"Relax," She hears him say, "This is your punishment. I'm sure you'll be fine in there for the night. Learn your lesson," He smacks the crate a few times as if to solidify his words, a satisfied smirk gracing his lips.

Her limbs were already tensing in their awkward position. She had only been hiding for a few minutes before Bjorn found her, how was she to endure an entire night?

She whimpers, tucking her knees under her chin and shutting her eyes tightly. It was a strange punishment, but it was nothing compared to a beating or lashing that slaves from other households endure.

It was quiet for a few moments until Ivar decided to speak.

"Floki has been a friend of the family for as long a I can remember, and has been a father to me when my own father wasn't." He explains, "Don't get it in your head that you can disrespect him so easily as you do others. If he were to kill you for your insolence, I wouldn't stop him."

Artemis bites the inside of her cheek to keep from making any noise. She processes his words carefully. Floki was clearly held in high regards. He was crazy, anyone could see that, but he had a faithfulness to his gods that was unmatched. Ivar seemed to have an admiration for the older man.

"This is the last time I will reprimand you as a child. The next time will be much worse, believe me," She could hear the amusement dripping in his tone, and she was almost certain he was smiling. Still, she says nothing, choosing to remain quiet in the darkness of her prison.

What he did next was unexpected.

Ivar swung an axe into the lid in one swift motion, its point driving in deep and almost grazing the top of her head. Artemis let's out a shriek, trying her best to move away from the blade in the tiny space provided to her.

"Do we have an understanding?" His voice was stern, all hints of amusement gone.

She struggles to control her breathing, her heart threatening to beat right out her chest. She lays her head against the wood on the opposite side, tightly closing her eyes before speaking.

"Yes, Prince Ivar."

"Excellent," He yanks the axe from the lid with ease, leaving a gap in its wake. He peeks through the splintering gash in the wood, offering her a stupid grin when their eyes meet with the help of the candlelight.

"We'll see how brave you are in the morning. Have a goodnight slave."

...

@heavenly1927

#ivar imagine #ivarfanfiction #ivar the boneless #ivarxofc #ivar #vikings ivar #vikings #helga #floki #hvitserk #sigurd #ubbe #ivar x oc #alex hogh andersen

[sexc-honeymoons]

Walk the line - D.S

Summary: Daniel can’t stop seeing his dead girlfriend. She’s stuck like glue, and everyone around him thinks he’s insane:

Warnings: a lot of time skips. mentions of rape, death, murder, blood, sex, breaking-in-entering.

*Three months ago*

Daniel stood in front of the casket that his lover laid down to rest. His heart burned with sadness as the tears fall down his tears like a waterfall. Daniel wished he’d come home sooner that night, thinking it could’ve been prevented. The way he knew you laying down the bedroom floor covered in blood, stab wounds marked in your chest. He knew you struggled, he couldn’t help but think if you called out his name in that time.

To Daniel, you was everything, lover, best friend, right-hand man. But to everyone else, they knew you as ‘the girl whose home was broken into and got raped and stabbed to death.’ They all said you was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was your home there was nothing ever wrong about it.

*Present day*

The sound of keys rattling filled the silence house that was once called a home. Daniel’s eyes puffy and droopy, tears stained cheeks from crying while he was driving home from the studio.

He hated his house with all his might, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave it because it held the memories of you and him.

He sighed loudy, feeling the tears prickle at his cornea once again as he caught a glance at the picture frame, you and him sitting on the beach together. “I miss you, bug.” He choked out, letting his fingers caressed the glass frame. Daniel’s hot tears began to run freely, dripping off his chin.

He sobbed quietly, covering his mouth with his hand, although there wasn’t anyone with him but daniel still didn’t wanna hear himself cry. Daniel didn’t wanna face the facts that you was gone, it felt unreal.

Daniel leaned over, slouching. He lazily carried himself to the once shared bedroom, wanting to pass out. It was crazy how his mind was the enemy, always telling him that this wasn’t gonna get better. But all truth be told, daniel didn’t wanna get better, he felt it was his destiny to be miserable because his only happiness was buried the day he was supposed to propose. Daniel flopped over on the bed burying his face into the soft-fury blanket.

He clutched the diamond ring between his fingers. It was getting tiring now. Not just for daniel but for everyone around him. It was like they was watching a zombie walk earth, the guys that were in the band with him felt as if he was gone.

Daniel’s small siffes were loud in the huge room. His mouth fell agape, snapping his head up. His thudding heart almost stopped instantly. A unusual feeling creeped up on him, making the goosebumps rise on his skin as well as the hair on his neck stand up. he could’ve swore on everything in that moment that he was gonna die or that he did die.

The scent tingling in the air suffocating him, It was sweet like candy, killing him as he looked around the room in curious. That scent she wore everyday, her perfume.

He hiccuped, rolling over to his back. Chest tightening with very breath. “Dani.” He heard her soft voice call out. Daniel jumped up, feeling the horribly cold breeze. It only heard her voice in videos, it chilled him to hear it in person.

“I’m fucking insane.” He sighed fearful, bring his shaking hand rub at his eyes. Daniel standed from the bed, closing his eyes tightly. He girlfriend was dead, he knew. he knew you in the casket, cold and lifeless. There was impossible way.

He mumbled cuss words to himself as he steaked out the bedroom. “Dani. I’m here.” Her voice so calm and soothing. He shook his head, tears falling. “Baby.” He called out as if his ears were lying to him, he begged for it to be real. That hearing her was real and he wasn’t just sleep-deprived.

“Where are you?”

The giggling in the air made his bones tingle. “I’m right behind you.” She whispered-giggling uncontrollably. Daniel had a sudden flash of whiplash before spinning his whole body around to be faced with nothing. His mouth fell agape, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m going fucking insane.”

“Boo!” She shouted in his ear making him flinch, jumping in the air. His eyes met into hers, stareing in disbelief that it was really y/n. She hopped on his bed, wrapping herself up in daniel’s white blanket. his mind felt like it was playing tricks on him, the conscience being confused with a illusion of his past lover. He held his hand to his chest, panting loudly. “Y/n?” Sucking down the ball in his throat, feeling anxious and nervous. Everything about her was still the same, even wearing the pink summer he had loved.

“Yeah.” She nodded, rolling her eyes as if he was dumb.

“B-But you’re-“

“Dead. I know. It’s like ‘casper the friendly ghost’ shit.” She laughed. Daniel shut his eyes, rubbing them to see if she’d disappear, surprisingly she stood laying on his mattress. “You’re not excited to see me.”

Daniel’s took deep breath, trying to understand what was actually going on here. It was physically impossible his dead girlfriend to pop up in his room randomly, but she did. Daniel bit his lip, shaking his head. “W-W-Why?” He stammered over his words.

“Because i wanted to see you, duh.” And as he could tell, your personality never left. It was really her. a gut feeling told him exactly.

Daniel sighed, chewing off his lip as it was weged between his teeth. The taste of the metallic flavoring coated his tongue, making him hold his glare tighter.

“Do you need to shit or something? Because you look horrified.” She joked, clapping her hand against her thigh.

“No. I do not have to shit. I’m just-just confused.”

“Why are you confused?”

“Becau-nevermind.” Daniel sighed, taking a seat next to y/n on the bed. “So...could I like touch you? Not in a sexual way!” He slapped his forehead, regretting his choice of words.

She giggled lightly, reaching out to softly cover his hand with her. “Do you feel it?” Daniel nodded in excitement, a cheese smile growing on his lips. “I missed you so much, bug.” He mumbled, planting a kiss to her cheek. “I’m here with you now.” She comforted him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders pulling him in closer. “We have a lot to catch up on.”

-

“Good morning, beautiful.” Daniel greeted in a deep husky voice. She stared at him, blue eyes sparkling from the sunshine peaking through the window blinds. “Morning, dani.” He leaned over, gently pecking y/n’s lips. Daniel limps sore from the previous nightly events, lazily nuzzling his into the crook of her neck. It didn’t feel real to have her finally back in his arms all cradled up again. The only person that kept him going, now she was with him in bed, waking up.

The soft sound of his breathing filled the void in the room. His cheeks curled in a smile, fingers trailing up y/n’s naked chest. “Dani!” She shrinked when his cold fingers touched her tiny buds on display. He chuckled softly, leaning down to peck her baby pink lips. “So what’s our plans for today?” She asked, excitedly.

It was almost like daniel was just hit by a big yellow school bus. His jaw fell, eyes widened. “What fucking time is it?” He gasped turning to the bedside clock. It was almost noon. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Daniel cursed, throwing the covering off his exposed body, leaving the warm bed. “Woah, Woah, is there somewhere you gotta be?” Y/n stood up, watching as he rapidly slipped on his boxers.

“I was supposed to be at the studio.”

Y/n groaned throwing herself back into the pillows. “Well you’re already late. Just stay here.” Daniel stared at his girlfriend, hands glued to his hips. He thought about the offer, almost taking it. “The guys will kill me if i don’t show up at all.” He exclaimed before running to grab pants and a shirt.

It didn’t take long till daniel was starting his car ready to race to the studio. Daniel’s hair still messy, horribly picked outfit, and a lack of breakfast. “You could’ve at least picked a better pair of shoes.” Y/n made a remark. Daniel jumped in fear, quick to gasp. He held his hand over his chest, panting. “How did you even get in here? I thought you was in bed?” Daniel questiond.

“I’m a ghost. It’s cool right?” Y/n giggled softly, poking his side gently. Daniel sighed, throwing his head back. “Just don’t do that again, bug.” She nodded with a shrug.

“Can we get starbucks before we get there?”

“Bug, I’m running a tight schedule.”

“Sorry.”

-

The boys continued to grab all they’re belongings, before existing the studio after a long day. It was clear to everyone that Daniel was more happier then usually. The grin on his cheeks kept all the guys guessing. Just yesterday daniel was a trainwreck, now completely different. Jonah watched the boy from the other side of the room laugh quietly when no was around him. The suspicion was tense, everyone knew, yet ever mentioned it.

“Daniel!” Zach called for the blonde. Daniel snapped his head up quick to chase the calling voice. Daniel mumbled a soft “hold on.” To y/n, pausing they’re low-key conversation. He skipped over to the other guys surrounding the exit room. “What’s up?” Daniel greeted.

It was just a vibe in the room that threw everyone off, including the producer. It was almost as if a dramatic change happened overnight, it did, nobody knew.

From a guy that cried everyday for three months then magically woke up completely fine was unordinary. All the guy was happy to finally see a smile on him after months, but how did it snap so quickly?

“Nothing. What’s gotcha so happy? Bro.” Zach cheered, showing a toothy smile. “It’s because y/n-“ Daniel quickly cut himself off, knowing that way to much had slipped out because of excitement. Zach’s face softened, gulping down his saliva. The other three boys pretended as if they didn’t hear.

Daniel rubbed his palm against his jeans, y/n catching his eye behind zach’s shoulder. She lifted her middle finger, mouthing “fuck you.” Daniel chuckled by accident, confusing everyone else it the room. He covered it with a cough, waving it off. “I guess, I woke up with on the right side of the bed today.” Daniel saved.

Zach wasn’t buying it, but he didn’t wanna push daniel over the edge. Daniel flashed zach a smile, assuring that he was perfectly fine. Zach returned the favor, before swinging his backpack over his shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow, dan.”

*two weeks later*

Daniel laid on y/n’s chest, she played with his hair. Comforting him in anyway possible. He nugged his face into her skin, placing a wet kiss. “Come kiss me.” Y/n pouted making him look up at her. His blue orbs droopy with lack of sleep, lips still on her skin. “I’ll give you a million kisses.” Daniel cooed, making the her smile brighter.

It was a moment that daniel longed for, laying in bed with the love of his life wrapping her in his arms. It was everything and more. It’s crystal clear that he’ll give his last breath to stay like this forever.

*one month later*

“Daniel.” Y/n moaned softly, tugging at daniel’s hair. He eyes stood on the girl under him, hair wild, eyes tight shut in euphoric. The little wimpers falling from her lips.

Daniel’s hips thrusting at a slow pace giving the feel of passion between the two. Beads of sweat dripping off his forehead, moonlight peaking through the window. Sounds of the bed mattress squeaking with every single movement. His muscles flexing as he held onto the headboard for support.

“Baby, you’re s’beautiful.” Daniel mumbled as he planted soft tender kisses on her jawline.

“I feel it coming, dani.”

*three months later*

The loud music blasted through the living room, playing his songs. “I still do!” Y/n shouted the lyrics. Daniel laughed at her, watching from the couch while she put on a show. “Stick to my word when I say I don't want you back.” She trailed off, meeting his eyes. They locked in love, with a star in his eye.

It was meant. Everything for them was meant. Daniel was just glad that his girl came back to him, maybe not alive and well, but knowing she was here with him still brought out the best in him. Daniel in the last three months was now motivated to continue to work, live, write songs. It was a shift in the atmosphere, obviously. It threw everyone off, especially his friends. Daniel a few months ago was practically dead inside, now he was a bubbly spirit ready for everything. They wanted to believe he was just getting better and finding himself, but deep inside everyone knew something was wrong.

“Why are you stareing at at me?” Y/n giggled, turning down the music so it only played at a low volume. She hopped on the couch next to him, throwing her legs over his.

He watched her lay down, keeping her eyes on him. “Because I’ll never know how god gave me a person like you, baby. It’s a miracle. I’m just thankful to have you back.” His eyes started to water, feeling his emotions creep up. Y/n quickly crawled up to him, digging her knees into the cushions.

She reached up wiping the fallen tears. “I’m always gonna be with you, dani. I’m your bug, remember?” She pecked his cheeks, letting him crack a toothy grin. “You’re my bug. I’ll always remember that.”

*five months later*

The doorbell rang making y/n jump with excitement. “They’re here, dani!” She called out from the living her. Her witches hat sitting loosely on her head, the definition of beauty.

Daniel’s breath was swept from his lungs, eyes guled on the girl before him. “Cute costume.” She commented, with a light giggle. He looked down at his joker costume, forgetting what he put on before letting out a chuckle. “Thanks.” He mumbled. “You’re hat is crooked.” Daniel motioned with his hands, reaching up to fix it.

He kissed her lips gently, breaking away. “The trick or treaters are waiting for you to open the door.”

Y/n fowned at the words that left his mouth. Daniel suddenly remembered, in that moment he wanted to punch himself in the face. “They won’t see me.” Daniel’s heart broke in half at the tone of your voice. “I’m sorry, bug. I forgot-I didn’t mean it like that.”

She giggled softly, trying to lighten the mood. “It’s okay, dani.” She squeezed his bicep assuring him. “Go open the door.” She laughed pushing daniel towards the front door.

Daniel shot her a half smile before running to get the door. “By the way, the green hair really suits you, joker.”

*Two months later*

He was off the grid, didn’t show up anywhere. He never wanted to go out for dinner, a party, the studio, to even hangout. It was like daniel was scared to leave the house.

The boys tried multiple times to invite him any time they went out, he declined the offers. Daniel couldn’t leave the house only because he couldn’t be seen talking to thin air out in public when his lover tried to have a conversation with him, people would get suspicious.

He was gone again. They lost they’re friend.

Daniel watched the newest episode of stranger things with y/n by his side, cuddling into each other. “Dustin’s and steve’s relationship is everything!” Daniel commented on the scene playing on the flatscreen. “I agree, bubba.” Y/n nodded.

That’s how it’s been for the past few weeks, binge-watching netflix originals on the couch. “Bubba, I’m gonna go get a blanket, I’ll be back.” Y/n untangled her limps from daniel’s, making him let out a loud groan.

“No! You smell like christmas shortbread.”

“Dani!”

“Fine. Be fast!” She rolled her eyes playfully before running upstairs. Daniel laid back on the cozy sofa, still watching the tv show.

The sound of the doorbell ringing continuously and rushed made daniel’s brows furrowed. He wasn’t expecting anyone at this time, pausing the show. Daniel stretched put his limps. “I’m coming!” He shouted to the mystery person behind the front-door. He slowly standed from the couch, running to get the door. “Calm down.” He hushed at the annoying sound still ringing. Daniel swung the door open to reveal the four familiar boys. “Guys?” Daniel breathed out confused. “What are yo-“ they cut him off quickly. “Why are you not answering your phone?” Corbyn choked out concerned.

Zach invited himself in by just walking into the warm house, along with the rest following. Daniel watched with his head tilted, still very confused. “What’s going on?” Daniel asked this time more sincere. Jack turned to daniel, a fown on his cheeks. “You’re ignoring us. Not leaving the your house. We’re worried about you, dani.” Jack reaches out, placing his hand on daniel’s shoulder in comfort.

It was like a shit ton of bricks fell on daniel. He didn’t realize that he was actually doing that, a part of him deep down knew, he just wanted time with y/n. Jonah, corbyn, and zach, stood in watch, faces soft with sympathy. “I’m fine.” Daniel assured, but they wasn’t buying.

“Daniel! Your cooped up in this house with no interaction with the outside world. That’s not fine.” Jonah sighed, eyes droopy at the state of his best friend. Daniel knew they was right.

Zach noticed the two glass cups filled with refreshers on the living room coffee table. “You have someone over?” Zach asked, unaware. Daniel felt his throat go numb, looking up to see y/n standing at the top of the stairscase. Every word was lost and he couldn’t find his voice.

“N-n-no.” Daniel choked out, looking down at his shifting feet. The other guys looked to each other, suspecting it was a lie. The elephant in the room was huge, tension was thick. They was losing a friend. Nobody knew how to stop it, it was like daniel was being sucked into a dark hole. He was drowning. But his appearance looked fine, no signs of lack of sleep, lack of anything. Daniel just seemed like he was taking care of himself.

“But there’s two cups.” Corbyn stated even though it was meant for his conscience it came out by accident. They was all fishing for at least the explanation. “Dani.” Daniel heard the girl from the upstairs, making his eyes flicker to the where she stood. “They don’t understand.” The girl sniffled.

Daniel didn’t wanna see y/n crying, but why was she? “Is there somebody upstairs?” Zach asked again, pointing to where daniel kept catching a glance. “No! It’s just-just.” Daniel trailed off, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as if he was ready for a huge impact. The boys were confused but had a hunch. “She’s here.” Daniel whispered, eyes falling back down not to meet the sad girl’s.

“W-who?” Jack choked out, biting his lip in caution. He knew the answer, he just had to hear it.

“Y/n.”

The boys stared at daniel in disbelief, feeling all hurt for the boy but he’d gone too deep. The house grew a chill with a sudden change of warmth. Snowflakes falling freely from the midnight sky that the windows perfectly framed. It was planned that daniel and y/n would wake up early tomorrow morning to play in it. “Dani, she’s not here.” Jonah softly spoke.

Daniel shook his head rapidly, pointing to Jonah. “I’ll show you she’s here, I’m telling you! She’s been with me since the last seven months and I can prove it.” Daniel ran to the living room, where all the guys followed.

They knew it wasn’t true but they couldn’t fight him on it, he was hurting.

Daniel didn’t wanna hear them even say the words that his lover is dead. It was impossible because she’s been with him all along, sleeping, eating, showing, making love. It was all impossible. He’s seen her, he’s touched her.

“Bug! Come here.” Daniel called for the girl. There was no response. His eyes scanned all over the living room, hands shaking. “Baby, just show them that you’re here.” He shouted again. Zach felt the tears poking his eyes at the sight of his best friend. “Y/n! Bug!” He shouted once more, searching the room for her. It was painfully, physically and emotionally to watch daniel like this.

The tears burned daniel’s eyes as they locked with the bandmates infront of him. “Dan-“ Jonah start but got cut off by a very angry daniel with fire in his blood. “She’s here and I’m gonna show you because I’m not insane!” The boys flinched when he shouted.

Daniel cheeks turning different shades of red, tears rolling down his cheeks. He marched upstairs to the shared bedroom, hoping to see his love. Although they didn’t follow him, they cried silently at the different daniel, this wasn’t the guy they knew. “Bug?!” Daniel cried out for y/n as he scanned the room. “P-p-Please! Baby!” Daniel sobbed, a tight ball filling his throat. He couldn’t find her.

He didn’t wanna believe that he spent the last months talking to himself and making a plate for a imaginary person that wasn’t ever there.

But it was only true.

The kisses.

The cuddles.

The midnight giggles.

The early morning coffee.

The lovemaking.

The bubble baths.

The dancing sessions.

The playfighting.

The binge watching tv shows.

Midnight snacks.

It was all just hallucination that daniel had created to keep himself sane.

Daniel fell to his knees, realizing that what he didn’t want to be true was indeed true. “B-baby.” His voice cracked, the loud sobbing and breathing filled the lonely room.

The boys entered the room, seeing as daniel sat on the ground with his knees tucked to his chest, panting uncontrollably. The tears ran down they’re burning cheeks, all bending down to wrap daniel in a hug. He needed the comfort of other humans. “S-s-she-she was h-h-here.” Daniel stammered, leaning into their touch.

The boys definitely understood the hurt that he faced and the trauma experience of seeing his girlfriend laying there, dead, cold, bloody.

Daniel needed all the help he could get, first starting with his friends comfort.

Don’t trust your mind

#daniel seavey #daniel seavey concepts #daniel seavey imagine #daniel seavey smut #daniel seavey imagines #wdw #why don’t we concepts #why don’t we imagine #why don’t we imagines #why don’t we

[kweebtrash]

Crawling (M)

Messy Chapter 9

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Smut, The Angst chapter TM

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: alcohol, talks about death/suicide, talks about sexual assault (use of the word rape-in case that offends you), emotional manipulation, description of panic attacks, anxiety, emotional codependency, aggression/intimidation, mentions of blood, mental illnesses/self deprivation/emotional self harm/slight feelings of worthlessness, lots of crying, heavy heavy heavy guilt

Features: kinda sad slow sex?, gentle thrusting, caressing, grinding, protectiveness, biting, heavy make out sessions/tongue sucking, riding, unprotected and protected sex, cumshot, choking, rough fucking

Word Count: 23k

A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose. I’ll edit some more tomorrow if needed. I may have missed some warnings so if you see any you feel I should add let me know. This chapter is kind of personal for me as some of the things I wrote about happened to me irl but still let me know what you think of it regardless.

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Jaehyuns POV

I yawned as I flicked through my Instagram feed lazily. I was trying to fall asleep but nothing was working. I rubbed my eyes before setting my arm between my head and the pillow, continuing to scroll and liking a few posts every once in awhile. My phone vibrated signaling that I had a text from Quinn. Just as I was about to click on it I got another notification, this time from Instagram. It was a message request from an account I didn't follow. I was mostly tempted to ignore it until more and more messages filtered through. I sighed and finally opened it, seeing words that made my blood run cold.

Rixtrix666: Hey

Rixtrix666: I really need to talk to you

Rixtrix666:It's about me and Johnny

This damn bitch couldn't leave us alone. First, she made Johnny's life a living hell and now she was trying to get to him through me. I clicked on her profile to block her, briefly catching the dozens of pictures she had of her and Johnny. In each one he looked miserable and void of any feeling whatsoever. I could only imagine what he went through before I told him I would help. At first I had been offended that he hadn't come to me as soon as it started taking a turn for the worse but after he explained what she had done to him I could see his thought process behind it. He didn't want to be ridiculed or chastised. Hell, he didn't even think people would believe him. If I hadn't known him for all these years then maybe I wouldn't have either. But anyone with a brain could see how he wasn't himself anymore. Just seeing her message brought back memories of terror that I shared with him for over a month. Why couldn't she just fucking leave us be? I opened up the message, ready to tear into her but what she sent me stopped me in my tracks completely. I shot up in bed instantly, my hands shaking as my throat felt like it was closing up. I accepted her request and immediately responded.

What the fuck is that?

Rixtrix666: what does it look like?

Rixtrix666: he's blocked me everywhere else

Rixtrix666: I need to tell him. Please. That's why I sent you this msg

You're lying. You're a fucking manipulative bitch

I don't need you fucking up his life again

I mean it

Rixtrix666: please jaehyun

Rixtrix666: I need to talk to him

Rixtrix666: the proof is in the picture! It's a positive test

Whats your fuckin number

I'm calling you

Answer the phone right fucking now!!

Once she sent her number, I dialed it immediately. "Listen here-"

She cut me off. "Jaehyun! I mean it! Please, I'm begging you! I need to talk to him!'

"Fuck!" I yelled. She was starting to make me nervous with the urgency in her voice. I didn't know what to do. I was torn between believing her or blocking her and keeping this a secret. She had already caused so much damage and this was just going to make everything worse. I was on edge and her squaking in my ear wasn't making anything better. I sprinted towards my door, flinging it open and heading straight towards Johnny's room. I didn't even bother knocking and instead shoved his door open. He jumped up, the most confused expression written across his face. I had no idea how to say it or even where to begin explaining so I thrust my phone in his face.

"Talk! Talk now!' I blurted out.

He raised his brow and took my cell tentatively. As soon as he pressed it to his ear and heard those words the coloring drained from his face. His breathing switched immediately and it was like he was drowning, gasping deeply and struggling to fight against the waters. I didn't understand why it was happening and I certainly didn't know how to fix it which caused me to go into a deeper panic. My phone slipped from his hand and I managed to catch it before it crashed to the floor. Rixi was still going on about the pregnancy until I yelled in her ear. "Send me your address right now. We're coming over."

"F-fine! I need to see him anyway. We have to get back together. For the sake of the baby."

I didn't have time to blow up on her, especially with Johnny looking like he was ready to pass out at any minute. I discarded my phone on the bed and grabbed onto his shoulders, trying to shake him out of it. "Dude! Look at me! We're gonna figure this out together ok? She's lying. I know she is. You don't have to worry." His breath was still far from normal. "J-Johnny, man, w-what's wrong? You're freaking me out! P-please stop breathing like that!"

His eyes showed nothing but fear, his body completely tense, like he wasn't able to control it. My heart thundered and in a  last ditch effort, I just hugged him. I squeezed him tight and held on, hoping that somehow that could comfort him enough to calm down. I was scared too. Absolutely terrified. I didn't want him to go back into that abuse and though I didn't believe that she was actually pregnant, if there was even the slightest possibility that she was his life was over. On top of that I knew his feelings for Eri were growing no matter how much he was trying to deny it. She may not want to be around him if he had a kid and that would just devastate him. I pleaded to whatever cosmic being was watching over to give Johnny every ounce of strength it took for him to be happy.

Just then, I slowly felt his hand creep up to settle on my back. He was responding now at least even if it was minimal. "We're gonna get through this together, ok? You're my brother. I won't let her ruin this, I swear it."

He inhaled with a sharp gasp and I shot back in fear that his breathing had gotten worse somehow. It was the opposite thankfully and it looked like he had finally gotten his head above water. "W-what…" He rasped softly. "What am I going to do?"

"We're going to buy some tests and make her take them in front of us. I need to make sure she isn't playing any games. I want living proof. If she's going to try me, then she's messing with the wrong dude."

"What if, Jae? What if…"

"Don't think like that, man. Think about Eri. She needs you when she comes back and you're gonna be there, ok?"

He nodded and I helped him up from the bed. "Let's go, I'll drive. Just get your coat on." I ran to the front door and grabbed my car keys, shoving on my own coat in the process. Johnny was walking much slower. I grabbed his arm to move him along and attempt to snap him out of it. I guided him downstairs and into my car like a child. I knew he was really too shocked to process anything but my adrenaline was kicking in big time and I needed to be his rationality for now. I hopped in and sped to the nearest pharmacy, pulling into the parking lot in a screeching halt. I ran in, my own breath starting to give out from going so fast, and grabbed the biggest pack of pregnancy tests I could find. When I got to the register I fumbled with my wallet and card, angered at myself for shaking so bad. I took a deep breath and ignored the weird stares I was getting from the cashier before my payment went through and I yanked it out the card reader. I grabbed the box and got back into the car hoping that Johnny was still safe. Realistically, I should have taken him into the store with me to keep an eye on him but I knew he would only slow me down.

I checked my phone to make sure Rixi had sent me her address. Thankfully she did and I plugged it into my GPS, zooming back out onto the road. The box of tests sat between us halfway stuck in my cup holder, rattling menacingly as an omen of what was to come. I tried not focusing on it so much through the silence Johnny and I shared. I wanted to give him some form of assurance but i was at a lost to what more I could do or say. Instead, I gripped the steering wheel tighter feeling the leather cover squeak beneath my fingers. The ride was short but felt painfully long. When we finally arrived at the apartment complex it loomed over us and made me feel like I was going into battle. I took a deep breath and nudged at Johnny. “Let’s go.”

I grabbed the tests as I stepped out of the car. Johnny looked like he was ready to pass out at any moment. I set my arm around his shoulders and lead us to her apartment door. I banged on it harshly, impatiently waiting for her to open it. When she did, I could see tears still running down her cheeks and she made an attempt to hold onto Johnny. He stepped back quick and I moved between them. "Don't you dare think about touching him. Take these tests now." I pressed the box to her chest and glared down at her.”

“W-what? What is this? How could you not believe me?!” She squeaked.

"Because we can't trust anything you say. You're a liar, Rixi and I need to know what happened that night." Johnny spat.

“You know what happened.” Rixi growled. “You got high and wanted to fuck. You realize you were on X, right? That’s what happens. You wanted it.”

I didn't want to have her talk to him any further. The uncertainty was already weighing on us and I needed it to disappear as fast as it had arrived. I kept myself between them but shifted Rixi around to face the direction of her bathroom. "Get moving." I commanded.

“You can't tell me what to do! I'm not taking these!"

With my patience wearing thin I shoved her harshly and kept her moving until the three of us crammed into the small space. "Oh, you're gonna take them. I don't have time for your bullshit and you definitely do not want to piss me off." I locked the door, making sure she had no means of escaping. “Do it.”

“I’m not going to pee with you two in here.”

“Just take the damn test, Rixi!” Johnny snapped.

“I don’t have to go right now!”

I grabbed her shoulders and pressed her down onto the toilet. “Start thinking of waterfalls then because you will do it.”

“F-fine! If it will get you to shut up. It’ll just be positive anyway!” I leaned back against the wall, glaring her down the entire time to make sure that she didn’t try anything funny. Her hands were shaking as she tore into the plastic and opened the box. Johnny was trying to pace within the small area and I reached out to grab his shoulder harshly. He stopped and instead switched to shuffling his weight between his feet. The wait was irritating and super awkward but it had to be done. Eventually she was able to take the test and slammed it on the counter. I set a timer on my phone so we knew exactly when it was done processing. It was a mere 5 minutes but each second made us all more anxious. Rixi was darting her eyes around frantically as she tried to keep herself covered. Johnny was mumbling to himself, almost wedged into the corner while his nails dug into the cheap wallpaper. My foot bounced quickly as I tried to funnel my nerves somewhere else. The wait was absolute death and I was starting to feel the sweat creep down the back of my neck. Finally, the timer went off and all three of us jumped up. Rixi made a grab at the test but I caught her hand in mine and Johnny snatched it up. He held it between us and we both stared at the reading. What the fuck did that mean?

“What does it say!?" Johnny panicked, the answer still unbeknownst to us. Rixi squirmed in my grip, making me release her. She yanked it out of Johnny's hand and cradled it to her chest.

“It means i’m pregnant of course!” She said as if it was obvious.

I grabbed at her small hands having to pry it out of her. “I saw it! It was one line."

Johnny grabbed the box and turned it over, skimming over the directions. “You fuckin’ bitch!”

“What?! What?! What does it mean?!” I screamed.

“She’s not fuckin’ pregnant!!” Johnny almost launched himself over me to try and grab at Rixi but I was able to block him.

“It could be wrong! Why would I lie to you?! I love you!” Rixi protested.

"You love me?!" Johnny scoffed. "If you loved me you wouldn't have raped me!"

My head snapped over to my best friend, my brother, my family away from home. He had told me about the way Rixi hit him and tried to keep our friends away but he never told me that.

"That's not what happened! Why do you keep saying that?! I would never!"

I set the test down and told Johnny to leave the bathroom, confusing both he and Rixi. When he didn't comply right away, I yelled at him. It wasn't because I was upset but rather he might have stopped me from what I was about to do. It took a bit of coercion but he eventually left me alone with the shedemon. I stood in front of her, setting my hands on either side of the toilet tank. My face was just centimeters from hers and I could feel the nervousness of her breath against my lips. "You…" I laughed not even sure where to begin. "You hurt one of the only people I care about. I mean incomprehensible damage to his mind, his body, his feelings and you come around again, like an infectious disease. You can say that you didn't hurt him all you want but that's only because you're sick. What I need you to do, and what you're going to do, is take this second test. Once I get that negative result again I will make fucking sure you will never ever be able to go near Johnny ever."

"If you t-touch me I'm calling the police!!"

"Oh, call them. Then you can get arrested for what you've done to him."

"They wouldn't believe that I could hurt him. I mean he's a man, a big one at that. If something was really wrong he could've easily defended himself." She said, a little too smug for my own liking.

She had admitted what Johnny had feared- that no one would believe him and he would be seen as a joke. It made me absolutely furious but I held my composure in the meantime. I smiled at her and grabbed the second test out the box, holding it in front of her. "Take the test."

"No. I'm not doing anything else you ask for. You can't force me."

"Oh, so you don't like being forced to do things but you're okay with forcing yourself onto drugged out men? That's mighty hypocritical of you, Rixi. Now again, I'll tell you one more time, pretty nicely I think, take the test." I shifted my hand to her shoulder, gripping it hard. "And don't worry. I wouldn't hit you. That would be hypocritical as well, right? You can only hit Johnny, right?"

"I was just playing around. I wasn't hitting him like that!"

"The bruises said otherwise."

"He bruises easily."

I squeezed her shoulder harder, watching her try and squirm away from my grasp but ultimately failing. "Take the test, Rixi."

"Get off me!"

"TAKE THE TEST!!" I yelled, my entire body trembling. It took a lot to get me this angry, this absolutely volatile. She was able to bring it out of me in mere minutes and I promised her that she wouldn't like what she saw next if she didn't comply with my orders. Johnny pounded on the door, asking what was wrong. He knew when I yelled that shit was serious. I ignored him and shoved the test towards her again. She snatched it from me as another round of crocodile tears started to flow.

I wasn't so patient this time with her stalling and complaining about not being able to pee. I sure as hell was able to convince her to get a move on when I snapped the first test in half and slapped the box off the counter, my voice growing louder with each vengeful move. Once she managed to get enough on the stick through her whining, we waited again. The same result was concluded and I sighed deeply. I washed my hands and wiped the excess water on my jeans. "So, we've established that you're never coming near him again and that I'm going to make sure there's a restraining order on you. On top of that I'll make sure I find ways to make your life a living hell just like you did to Johnny. Do you understand me?"

"You ruined everything. He was going to be mine!"

"Aren't you just a cute soap opera villain? Things don't work that way in the real world. You don't get what you want when people are like you. You get institutionalized. What the hell did you think was going to happen when you didn't shit out a kid in 9 months? That Johnny would've stayed? He's got more important things to worry about like his girlfriend. The person you will never be."

"You mean that stupid slut that tried to fight me?" She said angrily.

I smiled. "Say that to Johnny's face. He'll tell you how much he's in love with her. They spend so much time together it's almost sickening. You never even had a chance. Don't try and put your hands on him or his life again. If you try me again, I can get you charged with something much worse like you deserve."

I yanked the door open and Johnny met my eyes instantly. “What did you do? What happened? I heard yelling.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s going to be okay.”

“You think really think she’s going to stay away from me? She-She’s insane! She’s never going to leave me alone and-”

“I got this. I’m not going to let anything else happen to you.” I promised. “I’m gonna take you home, we just gotta make a stop first.” I started leading him towards the door, looking back at Rixi who was looking defeated for now. Somehow I felt like she was going to plot something far more dangerous and even though I had won this battle it didn't feel like I had won the war just yet. I was ready for anything she was plotting though. I vowed to make sure she never hurt my brother again.

--

Eri’s POV

In the short time that I was back home on the island my world had crumbled and I had no idea where to even begin trying to piece it back together. I didn’t exactly regret my mom forcing me to go back but I wished I did have more time to plan but how could you plan a death? How do you plan losing someone who helped raise you, who drove you to school every morning, who was married to your grandmother for over 50 years, who you knew and loved since you were born? How did you even begin to prepare for that?

I had spent the entire week being at the brunt end of emotion after emotion. There were fights about everything-the house, mortgage, money, cars, insurance. I had to sift through paperwork of things I didn't even understand and with my family's barely high school level education from the 80s, they didn't understand much either. One of my aunt's tried to guide us through beneficiaries and all that bullshit but it was still a foreign language to us all. It made me restless at night and with the worry of my grandpa's health already on my mind I was basically running on fumes. It didn’t help my depression and it sure as hell didn’t help that I always had to get up early and do things around the house, head to the hospital for visitation hours, make trips to the grocery store, cook food, or buy anything we needed.

As the oldest I had somehow become the scapegoat and my mother’s favorite object to lash out on. Everyday there was some sort of argument and it came to the point that I just wanted to have a day of relaxation. I wanted to go to the beach, my absolute sanctuary and place of peace, but that was denied from me. My mom guilted me into thinking that I didn’t deserve to have that time to myself, that it was inappropriate for me to think of this as a “vacation.” That wasn't how I felt at all and I merely wanted to attempt to recapture my sanity. After having my umpteenth argument with her I took it upon myself to sneak out of my grandma’s house like a teenager and go to a bar. Dani had found out about my little plan and blackmailed me into taking her along. Our cousin Maricella, who I hadn’t seen since I lived on the island ten years ago, was our getaway car.

It was an outdoor bar by the beach so I still got to have a little bit of peace. The mosquitoes were out and chewing up my legs like no other but it was way too hot to wear anything but short shorts and a bralette. Mari got us a round of shots while Dani and I took up residence at a table by a tiki torch, hoping the flame would keep some of the bugs at bay. Every once in awhile a sea breeze would rattle through the boardwalk style patio and bless us with relief and the tangy smell of salt water. I exhaled deeply and took out my almost finished second pack of cigarettes. I was starting to become a chimney because of all the stress and today was no different. It started off with light cigarettes but this pack had somehow turned into menthols. I still hated the taste but it was almost oddly comforting to have that hint of Johnny by my side. I lit one up, watching Dani’s nose wrinkle.

“I thought you hated those.” She commented.

“I do.” I took in a deep drag while scratching at a mosquito bite on my leg. “But it's what they had at the supermarket…” I lied.

“Your boyfriend smokes them.”

I shot her an incredulous look. “What?”

“Johnny. Your boyfriend. The hot six foot tall Korean with emo hair and lips that look like they commit a sin every time he talks. You know, that one.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend. He told me you figured out we were faking it at the party. How did you know he smoked menthols?”

“He asked me where your clutch was while you were off with Josue and I saw him take them out. Had to move some condoms out of the way to get to them though. Magnums? Guess what they say about Asians isn’t always true.”

“DANIELLA, POR FAVOR.” I screamed. “Why are you like this?” She was making me cringe just hearing her talk like that. She was only 15, i didn’t want to think about her knowing about anything related to sex at all.

“Because I’m your sister and you taught me how to be this way. Can I try it?” She nodded towards my cigarette.

“No, I’m supposed to be a good influence on you.”

“Ok, well influence me to drink and smoke and fuck a bunch of guys in college. If they look like Johnny, I’m down.”

I smacked my hand to my forehead and internally groaned. She was right, being a little shit ran in the family and I had definitely groomed her to somehow have the same attitude as I did. I had make the mistake of telling her about my college adventures (usually leaving out the details of my sex life) but apparently it was enough information for her to throw it back in my face. I reluctantly handed her the cigarette just as Maricella came back with a tray of shots. “Mari, my hero. Thank fuck.” I let out a sigh of relief.

“I got half dark, half white liquor so pick your poison. I used to fuck the bartender so I basically got everything for free.” She said before downing a shot of vodka.

“Why is everyone in our family sluts?” Dani coughed as she took a drag, quickly handing it back to me. “That is fuckin’ disgusting. How do you smoke those let alone kiss him when he tastes like that!”

“Wait, wait, wait. Who are you kissing?” Mari asked as she scooted onto the bar stool. “You got a man?”

I tossed back three shots, one after the other, then reached for the tequila so I could definitely forget about ever having this conversation. “No, I do not. There’s no man.”

Dani grabbed a shot herself, sniffing the liquor a bit. “I’m pretty sure your facetimes every night say otherwise. I can hear y'all say ‘I miss you so much, baby.’ from my room!” She took a deep breath before sipping the liquor slowly, managing to get it down in one take but recoiling her body in disgust. She rubbed at her chest trying to take the edge off somehow.

I could feel my face flaring up instantly. “That-that’s not true! We just...We’re just kinda in a weird place right now, ok?!

“Drink more so you can tell me about him! I wanna know!!” Mari giggled. She coaxed another shot towards me which I took instantly. There were a few drags in between her taunting and my stalling but eventually I had to cave in just to get them both to shut up.

I gulped down my fifth shot and sighed as I already started feeling the buzz. “He’s just this guy...we’ve been screwing around for like...four months now. I took him to the quince because you know how everyone is, asking me when I’m gonna get a boyfriend, ignoring that I like girls, belittling what I’m studying in college. So i asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend so they could get off my back."

"Except-" Dani interrupted. "Now they're totally in love with each other but won't admit it!"

"Ay, nena, don't you know to never catch feelings? That makes shit too complicated." Mari nudged my shoulder.

I tapped out my ashes. "He told me that I would never be his girlfriend and that's completely fine by me!" I lied and reached for another glass, letting out a deep sigh.

"Do you want to be his girlfriend?" Mari posed the dangerous question.

I stood quiet for a long time not really knowing how to answer that. He made it clear that he didn't want me to be his girlfriend but got jealous over Taeyong and Josue. He was constantly coming back around to fuck me (and vice versa) and now we had spent almost every night talking on the phone to each other. He had listened to me complain about my family for hours on end. Even when it got too late and I could tell how tired he was, he stayed up with me until sleep got the better of him. I would leave our FaceTime camera screens open, propping my phone against my pillow, and imagining that he was sleeping beside me though we were thousands of miles apart. He would hold his little rilakkuma keychain in his fist, keeping the head pressed to his lips as he slept. My heart would melt into a messy puddle of feelings I wanted to ignore but it was hard when you were screaming how much you were in love in your head.

"Heyyyyy," Mari nudged me out of my stupor. “Spill it girl!”

“The truth is I really don’t know what I want from him. Maybe I do want to be his girlfriend but what am I going to do once I have him? I’ve only ever had two relationships before and they both ended horribly. I’m so incredibly afraid to love anyone and honestly I don’t think he knows how to be a boyfriend either. We’re really messy and broken and always going up and down. It’s hard to figure anything out with him. I’m stressed that I love him. I’m stressed that I hate him. I’m stressed that I want to be with him but don’t want to be with him and I’m stressed that i know for sure he doesn’t want to be with me. I’m a mess, ok?”

“Eri, you should really stop lying to yourself and everyone around you about how you feel about him.” Dani added. I shot her a death glare and hoped to all hell she would shut up.

Mari just patted my shoulder. “You got it bad and you’re way over your head. I’m gonna get more drinks. You look like you need to be drunk.” She left us again and I rubbed my temples, sighing deeply.

“If he’s an asshole I don't want you to be with him but I know he does love you.” Dani added.

“Dani, don’t joke like that. It’s fine. Nothing is going to happen between us.”

“It will. Just give it time. I don’t think you’ll have to stress about him much longer but you should tell him.”

“I’m not going to make a damn fool out of myself and get rejected.”

“You won’t know until you actually try, Eri. Trust me.”

“What would you know about relationships? We’re adults. It’s different than that high school crap.”

“I know enough jerk. Why are you cranky when you’re drunk?”

“I’m not drunk.” I huffed. “I’m going to drink more then get drunk.” Dani crossed her arms and rolled her eyes and I let her sit in her feelings while I tried to avoid mine entirely. Mari came back then as if on queue and set down a giant bowl of piña colada to share between the three of us and a few more shots. We latched onto the straws and sucked deeply, almost in a race to see who could get toasted the fastest. Dani was number one contender as after a few sips she was starting to sway in her seat.

“I still want to hear more about this boy.” Mari said.

I groaned. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Pleassseeeeee! We never got to talk about boys when we were younger. We’re like making up time from being apart. You have to!”

I sniffled and tossed the end of my cigarette towards the sand. "Fine.” I grumbled. “I'm completely and totally in love with him. He's so fucking stupid and infuriating all the time. Like he can never talk about shit outright. I have to pry it out of him but he's had so much happen to him and I think he deserves to be happy. I want to be the person that makes him happy and supports him and-" I swallowed more gulps of piña colada as if was going to stop my meltdown. "He takes really nice pictures because he loves photography and he really cares about his mom and-and like we always talk about music and stuff. He's such a big dumb...DUMMY HEAD."

"Ay dios, what does this dummy head look like?" Mari asked. I set my phone out on the table and opened my secret folder of Johnny's pictures that I had saved.

"There. He looks like the biggest fucking fuckboy that ever lived." I whined.

"Well...I mean he's not my type,” She said as she flicked through the photos. ‘But Santo Dios, Jesus y la Virgencita THAT'S HIS DICK???"

I almost slammed my head onto the table. "YEAH THAT'S LIKE THE WORST PART."

"Waiiiiittttt! Lemme see! Lemme see!!" Dani squealed.

Mari at least had the decency to keep my phone away from my sister and preserve her hopefully still intact innocence. "No, this is not for you!" Mari turned to me and whispered, "You better get this shit straightened out soon. No man is worth heartache no matter how big or how good his dick is."

"Yeah but it's really gooooooodddd." I sniffled and pulled the incredibly long straw to my lips, sucking down more of the mixed drink.

"I don't care. You need to focus on yourself, especially with what's going on now."

"I don't want to focus on myself or what's going on now! That's like the last thing I want to focus on! I want to focus on the way he falls asleep while we FaceTime, or the stuffed bear that he got me that I sleep with every night, or the way his clothes smells, or his arms feel around me, or like...anything else but this shit! Please, Mari...anything else but this."

She sighed deeply and rubbed her hand across my back. "Damn...you really really got it bad."

I nodded and kept my head on the table sealing my lips from any more embarrassment. I was starting to get a little incoherent with all my drinking so I was sure I replied to her but didn't quite remember what I said. I was fading into a half sleep state and wanted to sink into the boardwalk. If I got drunk enough to completely pass out it would be the best sleep I'd have this entire trip. The only thing that could seal the deal was some bug spray and air conditioning. Mari shoved at me and landed panicked slaps to my back. I nudged my head up a little and opened one eye. "Whhaaaaa-?"

"Titi is calling! She must have found out we snuck out!!"

Dani almost burst into tears instantly. "I'm gonna get so grounded!!!"

I shushed her and took the phone instantly. "Fuck that. She's just gonna yell at me and I don't have time for that. I'm sick of her shit. She's only making this worse."

"Yeah but…" Mari cautioned. "If you ignore her she's going to blow up. You better answer."

I let the phone vibrate some more. The call hung up and started again over and over until it irritated me enough to answer. "What?!"

That set off a firework show of yelling and crying, tired explanations of her to stop treating me like a child or using me as a scapegoat, arguments about my duties in the house and guilting me that I didn't care about my grandpa one bit and bringing up the vacation thing. My body was vibrating with anger. It felt like my meds didn't even have an effect on me anymore and I was nothing but flames and sorrow. Mari tried to calm me down and Dani ended up crying and holding onto me begging for us to stop fighting. I had drawn so much attention with my yelling that everyone at the bar stared like I was some strange anomaly. Mari dragged me away then with Dani still clutching onto me and got us into the car. I hung up the phone during my mother's rant and tossed it somewhere I didn't care to find.

There was no point in holding everything in anymore. I screamed, I cried, I stopped breathing, I wanted to die. Everything came crashing down on me at once and that was when I truly felt my world crumble into nothingness. I didn't have a hold of myself. My body was shutting down, my mind becoming numb and unable to process anything. I didn't even realize we had gotten to my grandma's house until we actually pulled up. Everything seemed like a blur. When I stepped out of the car my legs gave way and I crashed hard into the pavement, crying and scarcely able to breathe. Consciousness wasn't my friend and I could only remember flashes of memory; my grandma holding me, my aunt telling me to breathe, my mom screaming in confusion, violently vomiting, and blood trickling down my head. I didn't know how long the panic attack lasted but I fell asleep in my mother's arms, finally being comforted by her love rather than frustrations.

When I did wake up it was the next day. I was forced to get up early in the morning. My head felt like it was going to explode. My hand was also throbbing and I didn’t understand why. I slowly got up from the bed, my body feeling like it weighed tons. Across the bed were the mirrored closet doors of the guest room and I could see bandages across my head and my knuckles. What even happened to my hand? I was confused and still felt groggy. I laid back down and fumbled around for my phone looking at the influx of messages I had received. There were a few from Lucas which entailed of a bunch of crying and kissy emojis saying that he missed me, one from Yuta asking me if I was ok because he hadn’t heard from me in awhile and even more from Johnny.

💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: hey

💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: did you sleep all day? I hope so. you need it

💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: wanna call me when you get a chance?

💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: I’ll be home at like 11

I wished I could’ve called him at that moment but at least it would be the highlight of my day later on as I was sure today was going to be a shit show. I wanted to go back to sleep and be left alone but my mom wouldn’t let me. We had to go visit my grandpa again which was also the last thing I wanted to do after suffering through that panic attack last night. Seeing him hooked up to monitors and oxygen was the icing on the cake to my guilt ridden feelings. The day went by at the slowest pace and I made movements to shuffle around my family but I was on autopilot. I was able to catch a nap in the late afternoon and woke up a little bit close to midnight. Johnny was the first thing on my mind and I called him hoping that he was still awake. He answered almost immediately, his toothbrush stuck in his mouth. “Hey babe.” He mumbled around it.

“Hey.” I croaked back.

He held a finger up, asking me to hold on while he rinsed out his mouth. I adjusted myself in bed in the meantime, making sure to hide the swollen area of my head and my hand. I didn’t want him to worry more than he already had been over the time I was gone. I watched him head over to his room and plop down on his bed, holding the phone above him.

“You look like shit, girl.”

“Yes, hello to you too, Johnathan.”

“You know what I mean. What's going on?"

I scoffed. "More like what isn't going on. My mom is continuously being an asshole to me but we had a half moment yesterday i guess. I got kinda drunk because I don’t want to deal with this shit anymore and it went downhill from there."

"Babe." He said sternly.

"Don't fuckin give me that commanding voice. I'm trying, ok? I'd rather be numb."

"I don't want you to be numb. I want you to feel. I want you to feel everything including me."

"But why do I have to carry everyone? Why do I have to do everything and stay struggling while taking a beating every day?"

"I know it's not fair. It's really not fucking fair and it pisses me off that you have to go through that. Like really pisses me off. I wish I was there with you, seriously."

I stood quiet for a moment, watching him shift and set his phone across from him. I loved that he was on my side and wanted to be here with me. It would’ve helped tremendously but i didn’t know how to thank him enough for being my support system this time. I swallowed back my feelings and tried to show how much he meant to me in a different way. "I've been smoking menthols because of you." I finally whispered.

"Ooohhhh you're in love with me now. That's a sign."

"W-what?" My eyes went wide instantly and so did his.

"U-uh...joking. Totally joking. Um...but I guess I'm influencing you."

I kept my face hidden as I wanted to scream at all my romantic emotions that were starting to surface. “S-shut up.”

“Um...anyway...what’s going on? Today, i mean.” He said trying to change the subject instantly.

“I don’t know. My head is kinda fuzzy. It feels like i’m just floating in and out. I feel guilty about so many things and I just keep thinking about my grandpa.” I was kicking myself as the tears started flowing again. I was starting to think that I was turning into the sea with how much I had cried. I apologized to him, feeling stupid for taking up our time with my whining and ugly sobs. He kept telling me that he didn’t care and would spend all night watching me cry if he had to. He reminded me of when I told him it was okay to cry and his empathy just made me ache for him even more. “I miss you…” I hiccuped. I just wanted his comfort, his warmth, his everything.

He sniffled and cleared his throat. “I miss you too…you know you have to be there. It’s going to be okay.”

“He’s gonna die Johnny. I know it. I visited him today at the hospital and my mom and my aunts just keep putting this weird bandaid on it. They keep thinking he’s going to bounce back and be able to take care of the house and my grandma and he wont. He literally wont. I don’t know why they won’t just fuckin’ say it.”

“They’re scared, Eri. They’re losing one of their parents. It’s always going to be scary.”

“I know that but I hate being the only fucking rational one here. It’s driving me insane. Just look at him and say he’s going to die! He’s just going to die, Johnny. He’s going to…” There were more tears then and more shoving of my head into the pillow. I felt like I was annoying him but that was just my anxiety and over thinking talking.

“Baby, look at me, ok?” His voice was like warm honey. I peeked up at him and rubbed viciously at my eyes. “When you come back, i’ll be here for you ok? It’s going to be hard but I’ll help you get through this. And so will Quinn and stupid ass Lucas and all your other friends.”

I cracked a small smile, really wishing that I could be back home with them. “I know…I-” Suddenly my mom burst into my room in hysterics. It happened. It finally happened and I almost breathed a sigh of relief. The wait and suffering was over and for  a small window of time it felt ok. I turned back to Johnny, seeing our video get pixelated a bit. “I have to go. I-I’ll talk to you later, ok?!” I ended the call and ran out to the living room. Everyone was frantically trying to get themselves together to head to the hospital. I stood staring at the chaos, unmoving and numb. It hit like a ton of bricks then and I realized that after all this build up I couldn’t do it. I returned to my room, barricading myself in as I was unable to cope with anything else. I had to find a way out of here but I was so broke and I knew my mom wouldn't pay for me to leave. She would force me to stay even longer and I couldn't do that. She was already banging at my door to come out of my room and get into the car.

I just screamed that I didn't want to go to the hospital and curled up in the corner of the room. I immediately dialed Quinn's number and begged them to please buy me a plane ticket. They didn't hesitate one bit but the earliest they could get me something was three days from now. A lot of the flights were booked, some overbooked even. I accepted it as I would take anything I could get at this point. Once the commotion in the house died down I packed my bag and called Mari to pick me up. I convinced her to let me hide out in her house and not say a word to my family. I lied to my mom that I was already back home and ignored the rest of her calls until the day came where I could finally leave this fucking island.

When the plane landed I was hit with the icy winter air that I didn't miss at all. Quinn was waiting for me to arrive with open arms. I squeezed them as tight as I could, needing that familiar feeling of safety that I hadn't been able to experience recently. They took one look at me and I could see sadness written all over their face. I didn't know if I should start talking and I was sure they didn't know if they should ask anymore questions about what happened. Instead, the two of us decided silence was better and got into my car that they had driven up to the airport. I fell asleep almost immediately. I was so exhausted and ready to never wake up again. When we arrived home, Quinn refused to let me stay in my room by myself. I wanted to protest but i had zero energy to do so. Instead I followed them to their room. They probably assumed that with my disheveled appearance and urgent phone call that I might have been on the verge of hurting myself. I didn't blame them, the thought had popped into my mind a few times since the beginning of the week but I was able to settle down since then. We snuggled close, burying ourselves under their heavy comforter and holding each other's hands. I squeezed tight and prayed that this feeling would go away soon. With only the sound of our breathing to comfort me I was starting to fall asleep again but the solitude was interrupted by aggressive banging on our front door. Quinn shot up quickly, asking me to stay behind while they investigated. I was worried to let them go by themselves, wondering what danger could be lurking behind the door within my paranoia. It fizzled once I heard Jaehyun's deep voice fill up the living room with frantic worry. He was talking so fast that I couldn’t make out what he was saying but it seemed to be important. I tiptoed out of the room to meet them both.

“Jae! Jae! You have to calm down! Slow down! We’re going to figure this out together!”

“Don’t tell me to calm down Quinn! I can’t help it!” His eyes caught mine and he barreled over to me, gripping my shoulders tight. “Eri! You need to help me! Johnny is missing!”

--

Jaehyun’s POV

It had been three days but I felt like I had realized it all too late. After I had made Johnny file the restraining order we went back home. He remained distant, which I expected so I let him be. He had gone through so much that night I figured he needed some time alone to clear his mind. I didn't think much of it when he said he was going to stay in his room to try and sleep. Everything seemed ok. The next day I didn’t see him around campus or at the apartment. I assumed it was just maybe because of our schedules. The day after I sent him a text and checked his room periodically- still nothing. His car had disappeared too. That was when I felt a pang of panic; something was definitely wrong. My dozens and dozens of calls and texts had gone unanswered, none of our friends had seen him, his jobs weren’t aware of anything. It was like he ghosted out of existence which made my heart drop into my stomach. I could only pray that he was ok but all the negative thoughts were infiltrating my mind like a raid. I was pacing frantically throughout our apartment trying to figure out some sort of plan but it was no use. I needed help. That was when Quinn popped into my head.

I sped over to her apartment and in no time I was slamming my fists on the door, anxiously waiting. She opened it, confused to see me. “Jae? What’s going-”

“I need your help! I need your help really really really badly. Something happened to Johnny and I don't know what else to do. I’m freaking out here. What if he’s dead? What if like someone killed him? What if-”

“Jae! Jae! You have to calm down! Slow down! We’re going to figure this out together!”

“Don’t tell me to calm down Quinn! I can’t help it!” I heard a door open and looked up to see Eri. She looked like a fucking mess but if Johnny wouldn’t respond to me then maybe he would respond to her. I rushed over and grabbed her by her shoulders. “Eri! You need to help me! Johnny is missing!”

"W-what do you mean he's missing?!" She asked, completely stunned.

"I haven't seen him in three days. He hasn't answered my texts or calls. No one else has seen him. Have you heard from him?"

She shook her head. "I've been out of the states and I just got back. I haven’t been able to talk to him either. I wasn’t really able to pay attention to my phone for awhile. Y-you don't think he'd h-h-hurt himself, do you?"

I swallowed hard. I really didn’t know the answer to that question. "I hope to all hell not."

"Give me your keys to the apartment." Eri said suddenly.

"What? Why? He's not there!"

"Just trust me! I'm going to check something out. You get anyone who wants to help to start searching his normal spots. We need to check everywhere. If anything file a missing persons report."

"E-Eri wait!" Quinn interjected. "You just got back and with everything that's happened I don't know if it's safe for you to be alone."

Eri tightened her hand into a fist at her side and I noticed one was covered in bandages. Was everything going to hell and a handbasket with these two? "Look I can't lose anyone else. I always have to do everything myself and I'm gonna find him. Give me the keys, Jae."

I dug into the pocket of my jeans and tossed them over to her. She seemed determined and seemed to be way more prepared than I was. Quinn held onto my arm tight as Eri grabbed her coat and car keys. "Eri! Please be careful!” Quinn shouted. Eri left then, slamming the door shut behind her. Quinn wrapped her arms around me suddenly, burying her face in my stomach. "Jae, now i'm really worried. What's going on?"

"I have to tell you something important. There's so much and I'm so so scared to lose him, Quinn. He's my best friend. He's the only family I have here." My throat started to feel scratchy and I realized that I was on the verge of tears. I never really cried like this- it was so strange. I mean of course I was worried but I guess with everything hitting me it stirred up feelings about Johnny that I hadn't thought about in awhile. "He's been there for me since I came over from Korea. Like he's helped me with so much. What am I gonna do without him?" I rubbed my eyes, trying to push back tears that were coming through against my will.

She squeezed me tighter. "Jae, it's going to be ok. We're gonna figure this all out. I promise." She stood on her tip toes and I bent down to kiss her gently. "Tell me what happened…"

I sighed and sniffled a little bit, wiping my nose with the back of my hoodie sleeve. "I, uh, Rixi came back. Remember her?

Quinn nodded.

"Well she told Johnny she was pregnant."

"WHAT?!"

"Don't worry, she isn't. I forced her to take tests in front of us so she wouldn't be able to lie but all the manipulation and shit got to Johnny. He kept breathing weird and I didn't know what to do. I just tried my best to protect him, you know? He'd do that for me and then I made him file a restraining order. After that we went home and he said he wanted to be alone. I figured it was just because everything was hitting him at once and he couldn’t really catch a break. I didn’t think much of it but now he’s been gone for so long that I can't help but think of the worst." I returned her hug, squeezing her tiny body desperately to mine. "She raped him, Quinn...that's what Johnny said. I didn't know- I couldn't help…"

"Jaehyun, don't ever say that. You do not blame yourself and put all that guilt on you. You've helped Johnny more than anyone and there's no way he doesn't appreciate it. You're a good friend and a good brother. There's a lot to process when something like that happens...it’s just...it's not easy." She pushed my hair back and kissed my temple. Her words calmed me down a little even though I still felt the guilt. I just wanted to know that my friend was okay.

"Look," she continued. "Eri is going through a lot too. I know how it feels when you think you can't help but some things are just out of our hands. We have to trust that they can find him and we have to work on our end too."

"What if Rixi came back and did something to him?" I suddenly thought. I rushed into more panic and boiling anger.

"Focus Jae. We can’t think of something that terrible right now. We can check her place though since it’s a possibility. I can get Lucas and maybe Yuta to help and they can start there. You call the police and I’ll try and get them to help and check in on Eri, ok?

I nodded, glad that she was able to be my voice of reason. "Quinn….I-I don't really know what I'd do without you…"

She smiled. "Well duh, I'm amazing." She gave me another kiss and I cupped her face, loving the feeling of her soothing warmth against me. It was kind of odd how a few months could change the entirety of your view on something. We were both throwing ourselves at other people almost nightly, losing ourselves in a last ditch effort to forget all the bullshit that surrounded our lives. I could forget that facade I constantly was putting up about being likeable and unafraid in America. I had been here for years already but I still felt out of place. Quinn could forget the devastation that laid in the wake from their parents casting them aside for something greater. Weird how fucking someone's brains out could turn into nights of cuddling and talking about shit that hurt you until you felt so raw inside that the only thing that could comfort you was that other person.

I wanted to stay wrapped up in my safe cocoon with her but we had to get down to business. Johnny's life could be in danger and I would be damned if I gave up too soon.

--

Johnny's POV

My body felt so cramped after spending all that time driving. I didn't really want to be home but I knew I had to continue my life here no matter how much I hated it. I opened the door to the apartment and dropped my duffel bag on to the floor, letting out a sigh of relief. I noticed there was a light on in my room and all kinds of shuffling sounds.

"Jae?" I called out. The noise stopped for a second and I took a tentative step closer to find out what was lurking behind my door. It swung back to reveal the person I had wanted to see most for the past week. They sprinted into my arms, making me stumble back. "Eri! Baby! You're-"

They parted from me for a second to land a few whacks to my chest. "Don't ever EVER scare us like that again!!!"

"Wait, what?"

"Johnny you gave us all heart attacks! Where the fuck were you?! I swear to God I'm going to kill you!!!"

"Eri, baby, what are you talking about?!"

"You didn't answer anyone's calls or texts! You got Jae damn near crying over not being able to find you! I come back tonight to him saying that you’re missing and the first thought I had was that…" They swallowed hard and I could feel the hurt in their voice. "That you were dead.”

Shit. I pulled them back into my arms and squeezed them like my life depended on it.

"Johnny, please I can't lose anyone else. I can't. I'm not strong enough for that."

"I'm here. I'm right here, Eri. I'm not going anywhere."

I felt like an irresponsible idiot. At the time escaping back to Chicago felt like it was the best thing to do. I needed to get away from the bullshit that was haunting me. It felt like this town was just suffocating me dry. I needed a break, something to clear my mind and get me back on track. My first thought, of course, was to go see my mom. The look of pure love in her eyes when she saw me made my fears melt away in an instant. I held onto her as tightly as I was holding onto Eri now. I had spent the last three days with her eating a ton of her home cooked food and watching my baby videos on our ancient VHS player. She wouldn't let me live down running around the house naked during a party when I was a toddler. I've never laughed so much in my life and it felt good to not feel like an empty void.

We had serious talks too. I asked her not to judge and spilled out almost everything I could about my hookups ("Do you use condoms?" Yes Mom, "Do you get tested?" YES MOM), totally avoiding how much weed I smoked, and poured my heart out over Eri. Everything from how I felt when I first saw them at the party, to when I decked Matt in the face for hurting them, to realizing that maybe it wasn't just sex anymore and it was something bigger, to knowing that after all this time I was in love with them but I was still scared. I didn't want to be like my dad, and I was still stuck on trauma (I disguised my assaults under "bad relationships" as I wasn't ready to dive that deep yet), and that there were parts of me that felt like I didn't deserve love.

She cried then, hating that her only child felt so bleak and meaningless as if it was her fault. It wasn't of course and it would never be. If anything she had saved me more than once in my lifetime and I was forever grateful. She told me that I needed to stop being so afraid of Eri and that I needed to just tell them how much I loved them and I honestly wished it was that simple. There was still too much holding me back and things I had to work through before I even considered being with them. I didn't want to be a drugged out mess or a mentally unstable shit for brains who dumped everything on their significant other. I at least knew I wanted to be a better person before I took that final step. It was just so fucking hard and there were times that I felt like I would never be good enough for Eri.

Now that I was back in Eri's arms I felt like I needed to be the strong one for them. They were disappearing before my eyes and I had to be their protector. I had worried them and everyone else after all and it was the least I could do.

"I thought you killed yourself." They sobbed. "We all thought the worst- the absolute fucking worst."

"Nooo, noooo. I wouldn't do that. I went back home. I needed to see my mom and get some time away from it all. Im sorry. I'm so sorry…" I didn't know what else to say. The guilt was setting in and I realized the consequences of my actions now. I didn't regret skipping out but I did regret worrying them. Especially after everything they had been through which by the looks of it had only gotten worse.

They cupped my face weakly. “I just don’t want to think of the bad things anymore, Johnny. It’s scaring me. My heart hurts so bad and everything is a mess in my brain. I don’t feel right.” They admitted.

I kissed them then, like they were the only thing I needed to breathe. I couldn't let them go now. I kept them plastered to me, forcing our breaths to disappear into one another. The moment we parted I looked down at them, pushing their hair back gently and seeing the remnants of stitches by their temple. My heart started beating faster. They never told me about this. I was scared that an argument with their mom turned to worse and they got hurt. I noticed the bandages on their hand too finally and jumped into a panic. "Eri, what hap-"

Suddenly they slumped in my arms, almost collapsing to the floor but I managed to catch them. "Jesus, fuck!" Now I really had no idea what was going on. They were breathing thankfully, almost steady but shallow breaths. I carried them to the couch, propping their head on a pillow before rushing over to my bag to turn on my phone. I called Jae immediately. My phone was slowing down because of all of the text messages and missed calls but it managed to start ringing.

"JOHNNY!! FUCK, HOLY FUCK, YOURE OK!!" He screamed instantly.

"Yeah! Yeah! I’m fine! Look, something happened to Eri. I’m at the apartment, can you bring Quinn asap?!"

"One, I'm going to kill you. Two, I need the both of you to stop being drama vortexes and sucking everyone into messes; like can y'all please chill for one day?? Three, we'll be there in five."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Please just come over!"

"We are. We're leaving right now….Johnny?"

"What?"

"I love you, bro."

I exhaled softly. "I love you too."

We hung up then and I sat on the floor beside the couch trying to see if I could wake Eri up. I tapped their face and shook them, fanned some air with my hand and even kissed them as if some Disney magic was going to take over. I was desperate at this point and had no idea what else I could do. I held onto their hand squeezing it tight and begging them to wake up soon. It wasn’t long before Jae and Quinn came into the apartment. He rushed over to me, practically slamming into me with a hug. He squeezed me tight and I held onto him, wanting him to know it was okay. “It’s cool, Jae. I’m here. I’m not leaving again.”

“Yeah you better fuckin’ not, douchebag.” He rubbed at his eyes and sniffled a bit. “I’m over trying to take care of you, you know?!”

“I know, it’s supposed to be the other way around but I’m pretty sure you like bossing your hyung around though.”

“I only do it because my hyung is a damn idiot!” He hugged me again which made me laugh.

“Stop being a baby. We’ve got bigger things to worry about now.” I smiled at him and ruffled his peachy hair. Suddenly, Quin shoved us both aside to get to Eri. Jae and I stumbled back and let Quinn hover over Eri. She was already starting to cry and fuss over them, about as clueless as I was as to what was going on.

“What the hell did you do, Johnny?!” She barked.

“Me?! I didn’t do anything! We were-uh- we were just talking and suddenly they collapsed!”

“Why didn’t you call an ambulance?!”

“They were breathing and I panicked and called you first! I think they passed out but i’m not sure!”

“You’re a complete fucking idiot! I swear to god. Go get me some water. Jae lift their legs up a bit." She turned to mumbling. "Have to do everything around here."

I sighed and went to the kitchen to comply with Quinn’s demands. Jae lifted Eri's legs, sitting on the arm rest and patiently waiting. "Do you still want me to call an ambulance?" I set the glass of water on the coffee table and stood on the opposite side of the couch.

Quinn sighed. "No, you were right, I think they just fainted. We could call the ambulance but I don't know how they hurt themselves. If it was self inflicted then they're going to put them on suicide watch or institutionalize them. After everything that's happened I doubt it would help. They're not fun."

"Do you think she would hurt herself like that?" Jae asked.

"They have, in the past. It's a possibility but I hope it's not true. They were worried about me committing suicide but now I guess the tables have turned." I said solemnly. I leaned over to kiss them again still hoping I could enact some princely magic.

Quinn stared at me for a moment. "Are you gonna finally tell them that you love them?"

"Uh, do you really think that now's the time to be asking that?"

She pursed her lips tight. "They just need somebody. I mean I'm here and will always be here for them but it's a lot for me to make sure they're okay all the time."

"I am gonna be there for them but it also doesn't mean that I'm suddenly in love with them. Friends help friends all the time. That's what you're doing now isn't it?" I said with a bit of bite. Now seemed like the absolute worst time to say it. I didn't want Eri to associate any feelings I had with sadness or depression. It wasn't really great to have the codependency going on. Just like I wanted to be in the right headspace before I jumped the gun, I wanted it to be the same for them. They needed to heal and recover- physically, mentally, emotionally. I just wanted things to be better.

"Whatever. Just man up and do it already."

"Quinn, don't blame Johnny for anything." Jae stepped in. "Nothing is any of our faults. People came into our lives and fucked things up and it's hard on us all. I know you're upset but we have to focus on taking care of Eri."

"Everyone has been hurting them. Every moment for them has been terrible this past week and I just want them to be ok!" Quinn covered her face, trying to block out a round of tears. "Eri, will you just wake up!"

As if on cue they stirred slightly, taking a few seconds to open their eyes and look around. All of our attention went to them as they tried to sit up. I grabbed onto their shoulders. "Hey, hey, hey, not so fast. Take it easy." I said softly.

"What happened?" They asked.

"We think you passed out. Here, drink some water." Quinn said as she grabbed the glass.

I helped prop Eri up and they reached out for the glass with a shaky hand. The water was gone in seconds and it looked a bit more hopeful to getting them on the mend. I stayed on the other armrest and slipped my arm to rest on the back of the couch. "What the hell happened down there?"

They sighed deeply as if opening the wounds again was going to deal more damage than necessary. "It was hell. We were preparing for his death but my family was also ignoring that he was going to die at the same time. It created this weird vibe in the house. I had to do everything while I was there. Cook, clean, go shopping, take care of my sister, go to the hospital. I didn't sleep. I barely ate. Barely kept up with myself. My mom and I were arguing all the time over any little thing. She told me I was treating this like a vacation when I said I wanted to go to the beach. I was being treated like a child. I'm fucking 21 for Christ's sake. Anyway, I snuck out to a bar with Dani and my cousin Mari and got mostly hammered. My mom found out, we had another argument and when I got home, I don't know. I blanked out and collapsed. I hit my head on the pavement, hence the-" They notioned at the bandage above their temple. "From the sound of it I think I had a giant panic attack that lasted hours. I remember bits and pieces. Mostly vomiting and crying. I guess with my disorientation I ended up hitting my hand on the sink cabinet or something, which is how my knuckles busted. Then the next day we got the call that he died. I didn't want to go to the funeral or be around my family anymore. I called Quinn and they got me a plane ticket and then first thing I hear when I get back is that Johnny's missing."

Quinn shot a glare at me and I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. I was aware of what damaged I added and didn’t need to be reminded. “I’m just so sleepy and hungry and want to drink. Like, regular fluids not alcohol.”

“I can go get you food, I’m sure some fast food place is still open or I can go to the supermarket.” Quinn said.

Eri just nodded and yawned. “I’m sorry for worrying you.” They fell to the side, their head falling into Jae’s lap as he had slipped down onto the couch. Quinn and I stared at Jae and he immediately put his hands up to defend his innocence.

“Uh...I don’t know what to do.” He said.

“Just leave them there. They can sleep for a bit while Johnny and I get stuff. Just watch over them, ok?” Quinn commanded.

“Wait we’re going together?” I asked. I had never actually been alone with Quinn before and at this point I was afraid she was going to murder me.

“Yes, get your ass in gear. We’ve got shit to do.” She headed towards the front door and snapped at me to follow. I sighed and got up taking one last look at Jae and Eri. “Just...make sure nothing drastic happens again.”

He nodded. “Yes, yes, I heard Quinn the first time! I got this. I won’t let anything happen to your girlfriend.”

“She isnt my-”

“JOHNNY!”

“I’M COMING!” I yelled back to Quinn. I was reluctant to leave Eri but it had to be done. I hadn’t even had a chance to take off my coat so I sprinted after Quinn, closing the door shut behind me. “You know, I really didn’t mean to make them worry like that, or any one else for that matter.”

She whipped around and shoved her finger into my chest. “Well good fucking job, you did it anyway. You knew what they were going through and still decided to be a selfish prick!”

“Don’t you think I fucking feel guilty already?! Like sure, I didn't handle it as well as I should’ve and i should’ve at least told Jae but I didn’t want to speak to anyone. My literal abuser came back to make my life a living hell because, I don’t know, it’s her favorite fuckin’ game I guess. I couldn’t deal with it. I had to go home and just...center myself again.”

“I know what it’s like to have an abuser come back into you life. Trust me. But you can’t fucking block people out and then expect shit to be ok!”

“I know it’s not ok! All I do is block everyone out. That’s my thing! I already know it’s bad, what the fuck do you want me to do about it?!”

“UH, I DONT KNOW, HOW ABOUT YOU DONT FUCKING DO IT?”

“UH, I DON’T KNOW, WHY DON’T YOU MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS?” I shouted back. “I know you’re pissed off because Eri’s hurt and I didn’t help it but yelling at me isnt going to fuckin’ magically fix everything that’s going on in my head and it’s not going to magically fix Eri wanting to die.”

“Don’t you think I know that?! You’re just- you’re so stupid! Sometimes I wish they never met you because all you do is play games with them and make them cry and you’re just shit all around!”

“I’m shit all around? As if you're so fucking perfect with Jae! There's been plenty of times that he's complained about you and you still do dumb shit to him!"

"We're not even dating! Besides, I always have to clean up your mess and pick up the pieces you leave behind."

"You don't know shit, Quinn. You don't know what we talk about or what we've done together. I care about them, more than anything."

"Then start fucking showing it, Johnny. Get your ass to the car. I'm done with you."

"You're just lashing out on me because you're scared and worried about them and I really don't need your bullshit."

"And I don't need yours. Glad we're on the same damn page." She stepped out of the building and into the parking lot, waiting for me to unlock my car. Both of us got in, slamming the doors and keeping an angered silence between us. This definitely was the last thing I needed. I was halfway tempted to leave her at the supermarket or wherever the fuck we we're going. She was lucky that I cared about Jae's feelings enough to be semi civil. I grabbed my carton of cigarettes from my coat pocket and lit one as I spurred on the engine. It was already becoming one hell of a long night.

--

Eri's POV

I woke up again though I wasn't really sure how long I had slept this time. I shifted and felt scratchy denim against my cheeks and wondered what I was laying on. I looked up and saw Jaehyun leaning back against the couch, messing around on his phone. I realized that I was laying on his lap and sat up quickly, a little too quickly as my head started spinning. “Whoa, you ok?” he asked.

I held onto my head as I tried to steady myself. “Yeah uh…why was I laying on you?”

“Dude, hell if I know. You just kinda passed out on me and I wasn’t allowed to move. That’s been your fave past time since you got back. Johnny and Quinn are getting you food and I’m babysitting.”

“Oh...great wonderful. This isn’t awkward at all.”

“I mean your head was legit on my dick. I’m not sure what you expected.”

“Don’t speak with me. I do not want to think about that.”

“Neither do I but here we are...also I think Quinn and Johnny are going to kill each other.”

“What? Fuck...i dont need them fighting. What happened?” I sighed deeply, knowing how protective and defensive Quinn could be over me.

"I think Quinn is blaming Johnny for making you worry more after everything that's happened to you."

"Jesus, it's fine. I mean I'm just happy that he wasn't hurt or lost. Honestly, it's the best news I've gotten all week. I know they don't exactly like each other but they don't need to blame Johnny for anything."

"That's what I tried to say but she's like a rabid mother bear about you. She wasn't really interested in hearing me out. I'm not saying what Johnny did was right but I can understand where he was coming from. Rixi fucked him up royally."

"Rixi? What happened with Rixi?"

"Oh right...she tried to trick Johnny into thinking she was pregnant to rope him into another relationship. It was a fucking mess and I had to threaten her just to have her leave him alone. He disappeared after that."

"Are you…" I didn't even know where to fucking begin. How could she even think that she would get away with that?! I balled my hands into fists not even giving into the pain in my knuckles. If I hadn't been gone I would've done much worse than whatever it was that Jae did. She wouldn't be alive. "No one is going to hurt him ever again. I fucking swear it."

"We feel the same about that then. I've never been so pissed off in my life. That's literally my family and you dont mess with my family. Trust me, I wanted to kill her too."

"It's just one thing after a fucking nother isn't it?" I scoffed as it was almost comical. "She's lucky I wasnt here."

He gently but awkwardly patted my shoulder. "I know. I'm kinda glad you weren't too...can't really bail someone out of jail for murder." He smiled at me and I realized why Quinn kept running back to him. Holy fuck, that smile was gorgeous. I felt my cheeks starting to warm up and I really didn't know why. Was it because he looked absolutely stunning or because I was embarrassed that I found my best friend's almost boyfriend attractive?

"U-uh...um...yes. Murder. I mean I would've murdered her. Not jail. No."

He looked at me a bit confused and even I had no idea what I was trying to say. "Anyway, uh…" he continued. "I'm sorry about your grandpa and all the other stuff you had to go through."

"Thanks, Jae. It means a lot. Seriously."

"You want like...a hug?"

"Slow your roll, homie. We're not there yet." I cringed away from him.

"Thank God. Ok. They should be back soon though. I'll text Quinn."

I nodded and stood up slowly. "Tell Johnny I'll be in his room. I don't think I can stay up for long periods of time."

Jae stood up along with me. "Can you walk by yourself yet?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Don't worry." I waved him off and shuffled to Johnny's room. It was still a mess from when I had been rifling through his drawers to try and find anything that might be a semblance of a suicide note. I ignored the mess completely and laid face down, getting caught up in the scent that lingered on his sheets. I pulled his comforter over me, settling into the warmth perfectly. I dug my phone out of the pocket of my hoodie and texted him.

Come back

I set my phone beside my head and closed my eyes, waiting for him to return. I didn't have to wait long because the next thing I heard was the door snapping shut. I peeked my head up from under the covers and looked at him. His arms were filled with fast food bags and a giant gallon of apple juice to which he dumped beside me. He chuckled off his coat and set himself in bed against the bedroom wall. "Can I kill your fucking best friend?"

I sighed and sat up. "Jae told me you two were fighting…"

"She fucking started it. I already feel like shit for making everyone worry but I had to shut myself off from the world, like it had to be done. I'm sorry it happened at such a shitty time in your life but bullshit happened in mine too. Like fuck! No offensive but my world doesn't revolve around you. I care about you, for real, but I'm trying to make myself a better person!"

I nudged the covers off as I scooted towards him to kiss him gently. "I don't blame you for anything Johnny. Don't you dare feel guilty over me. We're both going through shit. I'm happy you want to try and focus on yourself. Really happy and proud."

He sighed and set his hands on my waist, pulling me between his thighs. "It's fucked up, it's all fucked up." He whispered.

I nodded as I set my forehead against his, kissing him in an act of comfort. My hands trailed up his chest to rest on his shoulders and just as I was going to trace his bottom lip with my tongue he pulled away. "Eri." He said in his usual slightly dominant way. "Not now, you have to eat first. It's more important."

Not that I was making grand decisions in my current state of mind but a kiss or two or eight wouldn't have been so bad at this moment. I pouted as I sat back and set my legs over his thighs. He handed me one of the fast food bags which was filled with whatever he had ordered me. I hoped it wasn't something I hated, though if he went with Quinn I was sure they'd be able to tell him my usual. The scent of greasy fries and fried chicken hit my nostrils and I realized how starving I actually was. Because I had to do so much around my grandma's house I barely got to eat, even during the few days that she cooked. Her carribean food was the absolute best but I didn't have much of an appetite to keep it all down. Now that this junk was presented to me I shoveled it down in big bites. He watched me eat, his lips pressed together with a pensive look on his face. He seemed to have something on his mind and starting at me as I ate wasn't really easing my anxiety. "What?" I asked mid chew.

He opened his mouth, preparing himself to say what was on his mind, then closed it. I nudged at his side with my foot and told him just to get on with it. He took a deep breath before starting. "Quinn said we should take you to a hospital to get you checked out but was afraid that if doctors saw your injuries they might think it would've been self harm. I'm sure we could make up an excuse but she didn't want them to possibly institutionalize you."

I swallowed the food that remained in my mouth hard. "Abso fucking lutely not. I'm not going to any hospital and I'm for damn sure not getting turned in. Been there, done that, came out much worse. I'll stay here and work through whatever it is that's going on. I'll get better."

"Yeah but what if it doesn't get better and you have a serious illness?"

"Johnny, I'm not gonna die from not taking care of myself for a week. I just need rest. Don't be so dramatic."

"I'm not being fucking dramatic. I'm just saying…" He rubbed at his temple, closing his eyes for a moment. "If it does get worse, please promise me you'll go to get checked out? Please?"

"Yeah," I said defeated. "But not now, ok? I can't be in a hospital and I don't want to see IVs or monitors or anything." He seemed understanding of my answer and leaned forward to gently wipe my cheek of tomato juices from the sandwich with the back of his thumb. The look in his eyes held sadness and protectiveness and I was sure that even if I tried to deny him he would still find a way to make me go, even if it was just to urgent care.

He placed a tender kiss on my forehead. "I know, babe. I know." I didn't want to talk about hospitals anymore so I turned back to eating, making him follow suit. He swallowed down a few fries of his own before cracking open the apple juice and taking a swig. He then handed it over to me. "I got you some Gatorade too but I figured this could help with your sugar." I took it graciously and gulped down half of the bottle as my throat still felt like a desert. "I'm thinking about staying home from work for the next couple of days to watch over you.” He continued.

I choked on the liquid mid swallow and almost spat it out. Take care of me? He wanted to stay at home to be with me all day? “Johnny, you don’t have to do that…” I said, still unbelieving to his offer. “I have Quinn and this isn't anything serious enough for you to monitor me 24/7. I’m not dying and i’m not gonna try anything, i swear.”

He took a bite from his burger, stalling his response a bit  “I still want to do it.” He swallowed. “It’s not a big deal. You can stay here.”

“Um...don’t you think that’s a little...personal?” God, it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever wanted to do for me. He cared that much to stay home and take care of me, watch over me, and possibly smother me with forehead kisses. In reality, I wanted to accept the offer right away but I was still in defense mode given the constant replay in my head of him screaming that I would never be his girlfriend. Of course, it wouldn't be Johnny without those mixed signals of jealousy and possessiveness when I hung out with Josue at the quinceanera. If I did agree to stay with him it would get too intimate. Not exactly on a sexual level but on an emotional and mental one. That would be absolutely detrimental to my health and a definite hazard to dance around.

“Well, i mean...it would be the same as Quinn taking care of you because we’re friends, ya know?” He dipped his eyes down towards his sandwich as he didn't say more, or rather was holding back from saying anything else. My brain latched onto that word again. Friends. It was starting to become the most hated word in my vocabulary.

“Right.” I had to agree in order to not confess my feelings but my bad decisions were already getting the best of me. Through my already pain filled existence I craved to have my heart broken again. So I agreed to his offer. “I guess that would be fine. I’ll probably be asleep most of the time though so it’ll be pretty boring.”

“It’s alright. I need to get some sleep too. Haven't had much success lately. Night terrors are back again.”

I ached when he said that. With Rixi showing up again I was sure it had resurfaced some sort of PTSD reaction because of the damage she caused. Coupled with the absolute terror of being a potential father, I was sure his anxiety was making him roll down hill at the speed of light. I extended my pinky out to him. “I’m sorry…” I whispered. There wasn't much else to say at that point but I was sure he knew that I was 100% by his side. He linked his pinky within mine, squeezing a bit. I held up the gallon of juice between us. “Here’s to being fucked up.” I said, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

He ignored my quip and instead leaned forward, bypassing the gallon completely to crush his lips against mine. I almost got knocked backwards by his intensity that made my heart stop in its place. I secured the gallon inside the gap of my crossed legs and held onto his shoulder to try and steady us both. I hated how much I needed him but there was no way to even deny that fact any longer. He was a remedy I shouldn’t have ever relied on but his empathy and secretive caring nature generated value to the way he made me feel. It didn't matter how happy or sad he made me, my heart would still forever be the casualty. He parted from me then, for just a fraction of a second, his lips still hovering above mine. “Here’s to always being fucked up.”

--

It took a couple of days to feel like a functioning human instead of a hibernating zombie. I rebuilt my body's tolerance to fluids and electrolytes, getting them into my system as fast as possible. Eventually, I was able to regain a bit of energy and not spend so much time sleeping. I continued to devour every meal he brought to me as well. When I felt like I was able to move around without feeling dizzy or collapsing I would leave Johnny's room to join him in the shower or snuggle up on the couch and watch him play video games. Staying with him was even better than I thought it would be. I did get all the forehead kisses I craved but also all sorts of gentle kisses as well. He even liked to rest his head on mine as we cuddled. It was a paradise I didn't want to leave. I wanted to keep these precious moments in a delicate bubble, protecting it from being popped and exposing me to the harsh reality that we weren’t actually together. I shoved the negatives down as far back as my mind would allow and instead focused on the way he currently felt against my back. He was spooning me as we ended up napping in the middle of the day, a decision we shouldn't have given into but did so nonetheless. He was radiating his usual suffocating body heat with his face buried in the back of my neck. As i woke up fully I realized his hand was cupping my boob beneath one of his giant shirts I slept in.

I wacked at his hand trying to get him to release me, the sneaky little perverted shit. All he did was groan and hook his leg over my hips, partially rolling onto me. I grumbled as I was now smushed between him and the mattress, his hand still on my chest. "Johnny. Get up."

He remained still and heavy. I tried wriggling back against him, lifting my hips in an attempt to get his weight off me. He started to stir then but with a reaction I wasn't trying to receive. He started grinding into my ass, slowly but surely working himself up. I gasped in shock and vowed that when I scrambled from beneath him he was gonna get it. "Johnathan if you don't get off me right now I'm going to murder you."

I could feel his smile on my skin and I knew he was awake and just wanting to get a rise out of me. I puffed out a sigh and remained a pancake, ready to surrender. "You're going to smush the life out of me." I complained. As much as I loved how much bigger he was compared to me, breathing was pretty cool too.

He chuckled then, raspy, deep, and laced with hours of sleep. "I like crushing you and pissing you off."

My cheeks warmed at how utterly seductive the change in tone could make him sound. "Y-yeah well...you won't like it when I get back at you."

"What are you gonna do, suffocate me with your tits? Sit on my chest? By all means be my guest." He said slyly.

I wiggled my hips again. "Oooofffff. Please?" I begged

He responded with a grunt as his hand gripped my hip tightly. He steadied them and made sure I wasn't able to move. "Stop that."

"Then stop squishing me, you big werewolf! You're hot and making me sweaty."

He pulled away and rolled onto his back. “Fine, little brat.”

“Hmph, you started it.” I stretched myself out after having been cramped up against him for who knows how many hours. My back and shoulders popped and I sighed in relief before turning over to face him. I placed a kiss on the cheek and set my head on his shoulder. “We really weren’t supposed to fall asleep again.”

“Fuck it. We need it.”

“Do we? We slept like 12 hours the other day. Even though sleeping is my fave hobby we should probably like...breathe fresh air at some point.”

“No way.” He said, digging his fingers into my hair and scratching lightly against my scalp. “It’s warm in here and cold outside. I don't want to leave.”

I set my hand on his stomach rubbing the thin trail of hair there. “Ok, you drive a hard bargain.” I giggled and pulled myself even closer, this time planting a kiss on his lips. He smiled into the kiss while edging himself onto his side. His stomach pressed against mine and he rested his hand on my lower back. The kisses started out innocently enough; gentle pecks and the smallest of nibbles in between cute laughs and caresses. It wasn’t clear how the sweet tenderness turned into rushed clashes of tongues and teeth but neither of us were pulling away just yet. I felt his body digging into me as the hand on my back slipped lower to harshly grope at my ass. I whimpered against his tongue and tried pulling away to get some air between us but it was almost impossible to escape him. I clutched at his bicep, feeling the muscles flexing beneath my fingertips as he exerted his strength to keep me plastered to his frame.

Eventually, I managed to snap my head back, avoiding a bite to my lip. "J-Johnny," I swallowed harshly as I felt a prodding against my stomach. "You're poking me."

"I'm what?" He lurched his head forward, barely listening to what I was even saying. He was more focused on trying to resume our heavy make out session. I wedged my hand between us to keep him at bay.

"You're uh…poking me."

He stood quiet for a moment until it finally clicked in his head. He shoved himself away completely, leaving a drastic space between us. "Fuck…" He covered his face and groaned. "I'm sorry. You're not feeling good. I shouldn't have done that."

I sat up slowly and re-tied my hair into a chaotic semblance of a bun. " It's okay. I mean, I feel better now than I did when I first got back. I actually have energy. It just happened so fast. I was caught a little off guard."

"I'm super sorry, Eri."

I looked back at him."I guess you missed me that much, huh?" It was mostly a joke to lighten the air around us.

He removed his hands from his face. "It was the first time in almost two weeks that I had felt that again."

"What do you mean?"

"Like... I don't want to say just horny but like, more so comfortable in doing something halfway sexual. I haven't wanted to be touched in a minute." He sighed and propped his knees up, setting his arms on top of them. "We don't have to if you don't want to. Don't feel obligated to. I messed up and got carried away."

I shook my head. "I don't think you messed up at all. I know what you mean...it felt nice to feel that again too. Like that heat, that want, that drive towards something that makes you feel good and happy. The void feels a little smaller when I'm with you."

"Yeah," he chuckled lightly. "Something like that."

I nibbled my lip and looked over at him, tentative of my next move. His eyes caught mine and he leaned into me, accepting me into another kiss. It felt like we were virginal teenagers with how cautious we were being with our bodies now. Our rhythm slowed tremendously as his hands dove beneath his shirt I was wearing and worked upwards. I slid my arms out of it and let him toss it off the side of the bed. I pressed my chest to his, deepening the kiss as my fingers drifted towards the waistband of his sweatpants. I cupped him gently, stroking the outline of his cock through the fabric. The pain was still working through my knuckles but I ignored it, instead distracting myself with how he filled my palm. I circled my thumb over the fabric that covered his tip, pulling a damp stain to the surface. A small groan fell against my tongue and I felt him throb beneath my touch.

He exhaled my name making my thighs clench in anticipation. His hands roamed the expanse of my hips and stomach before easing up to my shoulders. He pushed me down gently and switched his attention to covering my neck with heated licks and fevered nibbles. My eyes drifted closed and my hand traveled to his hair, pushing it back gently as he worked over me. Kissing and rubbing every inch of my body seemed to be his newfound favorite activity and he spent a tremendous amount of time on my stomach and thighs. Having my stomach garner so much attention made me a little uneasy but he wasn't phased by it one bit, even when I tried squirming away. It made me shy to have him give notice to the area that provided me with the most confidence issues. I squeezed my eyes tighter as I tried to ignore my discomfort and focus on the way his thumb rubbed against the small dip of my hip bone.

Him knowing to tease that erogenous zone had my back arching against his frame. He shifted to rest his head between my thighs, wrapping his arms around them and working bites over that special spot. I tugged at his hair gently when the bites became too deep. He was almost breaking skin but sucked deeply to soothe the ache. My masochistic side jumped in excitement at the pain and encouraged it. It made the seat of my panties just a little wetter and my heat stir with desire. I pulled his hair harshly making him part from my hip. When I opened my eyes I saw him lick his gorgeous lips and dip his head towards my hand. His fingers were tattooing bruises into my inner thigh from how hard he was clinging to me and I noticed his hips bucking against the mattress. He was attempting to find solace in attentiveness I hadn't begun to give him just yet. He was placing me on a pedestal above him, wanting to bring me right to the edge before he even thought about entering me.

I pulled him down to my chest and licked from his collarbone, up his neck, over his chin, and finally to his lips. His mouth dropped open as he exhaled a soft breath and allowed my tongue to slide across his. I pulled it into my mouth, sucking it slowly and eagerly. He shifted to press himself between my thighs and moaned into my sinful action. He hovered above me with just enough space to have the damp fabrics between us meet. His hips stirred impatiently into me instead of the mattress now as his hands gripped at the bed sheets beneath me. I sucked on his tongue one last time before switching my tactic to tugging at his bottom lip with my teeth. He pushed himself particularly hard into my wetness as I bit down, making me gasp in surprise and call out his name. I splayed my hands across the center of his back, the small amount of nails that I had we're just enough to start splattering scratches into him.

He dipped his head by my ear and moved his left hand towards the beginnings of my panties. "Is this ok?" He whispered. I nodded quickly, the tense teasing between us almost becoming too much to bear. His middle finger nudged the center of my panties aside and made one smooth stroke from entrance to clit. "Why are you so wet?"

"Do I really have to explain that to you?" I huffed.

"No but...it's just...nevermind." His finger hooked around the panties and we shuffled through the awkwardness of getting them off while trying to remain entangled together. He managed to toss off the rest of his clothes as well, leaving us to see each other for the first time since I left. It had only been a week but it felt like months since we were connected. I smiled as I gazed down his toned torso to his hardness that sprouted from between those devilishly thick thighs. He fumbled with his hair, pushing it back then having it fall back into place. He was waiting for something and I wondered if perhaps he was suddenly having bad memories resurface. I sat up quickly, reaching out to him.

"You ok? Do you need a break?" I asked, concerned. He shook his head and took my hand in his, placing a kiss over my bruised knuckles.

"No, sorry I just blanked out for a second. I felt really nervous to be with you."

"Why? This isn't new for us."

"Yeah but...I don't know. Kinda feels different."

"Like…" I'm in love and if you touch me now I'll hate myself forever and my body will burn into nothingness? If you fuck me slowly and make me think about everything I crave about you I'll feel every part of my soul shatter and beg for more? If you even so much as utter my name with that voice thick with lust I won't stop cumming until you tell me too and I'd cry every step of the way? Yeah, it did feel different when you were in a one sided relationship. “What kind of different?”

He shrugged. “Just...different.” He kissed me, keeping me from prying any further. “Give me a sec, ok?”

I leaned back on my elbows and waited as he retreated to his dresser to get a condom. When we reunited he wrapped my legs around his waist and slipped his arm around my lower back, keeping my slightly lifted. Finally, after a long baited breath I felt him work his way through me, not stopping until he filled me completely. I pressed the back of my hand to my lips, trying not to cry out too loud. He uttered a whispered curse, keeping his body frozen in place as he adjusted to me instantly clamping down on him. It was like I was trying to pull him in deeper though there was no where else he could reach. His first thrust was slow and delicate, letting my mind sink into memories of all the times he'd left me unmeasurably satiated. My thighs crushed the sides of his torso as I tried to give him a signal to continue.

He took his time, brows furrowed in concentration and lips parted to release barely audibly moans and dirty whispers. The arm he had around my waist guided my hips upward, forcing them to roll in time with his movements. The slight angle he kept me at was enough to rattle my pleasure center and hit nerves that sent my brain into a jumbled mess. My hand moved from my lips and instead dragged his pillow to me so I could sink my teeth into it. My breath was just beginning to speed up and soon I felt ruthless bites all over my chest and shoulders. It was strange how he always wanted to mark me and let everyone know he had been with me yet he never claimed me. The brandings thrilled me anyway and I accepted them graciously.

One bite to the shoulder was the signal of his body waivering within his thrusts. He trembled through long pushes and pulls and the arm that supported him met the mattress. With him settling his weight onto me, my legs were pushed to the top of his ribcage where the head of his cock hit deep inside me, reminiscent to our heated fuck on the couch. I wanted that soft brutality again. He was rolling his hips now, his head dipping slightly. I could hear the beginnings of his hush grumbles but my heart slammed into the brakes when I processed what he was saying.

"I love-" he panted.

Oh god.

"I love-" a small grunt and a particularly pleasing pressure to a patch of nerves within me.

Oh god. Oh god.

"Fuck I love the way you feel…"

I almost let out a breath of relief. Of course he wouldn't say those three little words. Of course not, but I seriously needed him to shut up before I blurted it out myself and turned into an embarrassing puddle of pathetic emotions. I shoved him off me, our bodies barely separating as I moved to straddle him. "Just stay quiet." I cupped his jaw in my hand and gave him a flurry of soft pecks. "You know it's my favorite."

"Asshole." He scoffed and nudged his hips upward beneath me. I set my hands back to rest on his calves and let him take in the way he disappeared inside me. His controlling side got the better of him as I barely lasted one bounce before his hands grabbed at my ass, thumbs pressed into my hips, and him guiding me towards a more fluid motion. I could feel his almost predatory gaze boring into me; taking in the few droplets of sweat that made my edges damp, the stickiness of my cum spread between us both, and the way my chest jerked lewdly. His nails burrowed into my plush skin, carving marks that made me hiss.

He moved one hand between us to add pressure to my clit and yet it was almost like every bit of pleasure was ripped away from me.

How could you do this?

This soon? He's not even in the ground yet and you're fucking someone?

Have you literally no shame?

Don't you feel guilty?

I stopped my movements completely as the unforgiving voice hammered away at my brain. No, not now. Why would this happen now? Of all times?

Because you're an impatient slut.

All you did was think about him. You barely saw grandpa in the hospital.

I couldn't take it. I couldn't take the sight of him like that what was I supposed to do?

Then you run into his arms first thing. You're desperate for him. Too desperate and selfish.

"Eri?" My head snapped up and I realized Johnny was face to face with me. He had sat up, holding me in his lap, a look of concern on his face. "Did I hurt you? You're crying."

"I'm wha-?" I felt my cheeks and sure enough there were small streaks running down my face. Great, I fucked this entire thing up because of my overthinking and remaining guilt. Did I really have to feel guilty about having sex? It made my stomach hurt, like a weight settled in it and the acid couldn't dissolve it. "I don't...I'm sorry. I didn't even realize and-"

"What's going on?" He pushed a few stray hairs away from my face.

"I just suddenly...I lost it. I couldn't feel you anymore. It was just all suffocating guilt, like I shouldn't be having sex with you…"

"Why not? Do you not want to hook up anymore?" He said, rather sadly.

"No, I do but...I'm here, with you, and my grandpa's not even buried yet. Does it...make me a bad person?"

"Ah...um...no. I don't particularly think so. What else can you do about it? You don't have control over the universe or when people come and go. It's a natural part of life. And you've already been through so much. He would be happy that you at least took care of your family, even if your mom dogged you. You're not a bad person, Eri. You're literally the best. You make me laugh and scare the shit out of me all at once and we're super awkward together. It's okay to want to do something that makes you feel better. I'm not just saying that because I want to have sex with you. I mean it."

I laid my head on his shoulder and he kissed my forehead as he held me. He rubbed my back gently and let me have my moment in trying to figure out exactly what the fuck was wrong with me and what I wanted. "I'm sorry I ruined sexy time."

"Sexy time has its ups and downs. I don't care. But um...I am gonna say that having a sad conversation with my dick inside you is a bit weird."

"I know. Jesus...it's just comforting, please ignore me. You can like get out. I'm weird. I'm so sorry. It doesn't feel sexual at this moment just intimate and I need to stop talking oh my god. Please stop me."

He chuckled and set me down beside him, pulling out gently. “It’s ok, don’t worry about it.” He adjusted his pillow and laid beside me. He pulled the covers over us again and extended his hand to lay between us. “I’ll be here if you need me, for whatever you wanna do.”

“I have no idea. I’m so tired of crying. Like physically and emotionally.” I reached for his hand and we linked our pinkies.

“Then maybe just chill for a bit. Take another depression nap.” He smiled at me and I knew he was joking.

“Maybe. You don’t have to stay in here with me.”

He shrugged. “I’ve been with you for the past like 3 days.”

“Aren’t you sick of me yet?”

“Oh, absolutely. I mean how dare you be my little spoon and make me feed you and let you sit with me while I play video games. You’re a monster.”

I couldn’t help but crack a smile of my own. "I'm definitely sick of you with your giant legs always landing on me when we sleep, and your werewolf heat, and the way your hair sticks up all cute when you wake up, and your stupid forehead kisses."

"Pfft, I'm perfect and you know it."

"Yeah, sure, definitely perfect." Definitely.

"But in all seriousness, don't let it get to you, ok? Don't guilt yourself or else you won't be able to grieve right."

I sighed, knowing that he was right but still hating myself for it. It was going to take me awhile to even begin to shake that feeling. I didn't want it to affect any of my relationships, not just with Johnny. It would be dangerous for me to become a recluse and wallow in the damage. I had to at least try and get over this hurdle. I squeezed my eyes shut and smushed my face into the pillow, low-key wanting to suffocate myself. I felt Johnny squeeze my pinky a bit before rolling onto his back and setting his free arm over his eyes. Why the hell was he so patient and understanding? You stupid fuck, couldn't you go back to bring an asshole? Well...it wouldn't particularly matter anyway. I still would run back to him.

--

I couldn't really pinpoint how long I slept again. I should stop falling into those naps and tried to be active but depression liked to firmly sink its teeth into my sleep schedule. I was frustrated at myself all over again and tossed the covers off me, sliding out of the bed. I looked back, remembering that Johnny had been beside me, but he wasn't in bed anymore. I pulled on my night shirt and shuffled out to the living room, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I saw him on the couch,viciously button smashing on the right trigger of his controller. I didn't even have a clue what time it was. I padded over to him and stood by the armrest of the couch.

"Hey."

The controller almost flew into the air as he jumped up. "Fuck! You little shit, don't scare me like that!"

I ignored him and crawled into his lap, resting my head back on his shoulder. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me, resuming his rapid fire attacks. "Do you feel better or no?" He asked as he was calming down from my apparent jumpscare.

"I feel groggy and cramped up but I didn’t want to be in bed anymore. I'll just end up sleeping again and hating myself for it." I sighed.

"You wanna play after I'm done with this round?"

"Nah," I shook my head. "I don't think I have the mental capacity to."

"Aww but you love killing people and not healing me." He teased.

"Fuck you. I'm not healer. You can just grab the heal packs on your own. I'm tank. I'm always tank."

He laughed and kissed my cheek. "Whatever. I can still beat you."

"When we were on opposite teams I killed you six times...in a row."

"Listen, don't come for me, ok?"

"I’ll always come for you."

"Well," He smirked. "Sometimes you soak the sheets."

"Oh my god! Please stop bringing that up!" I wacked his chest playfully. "It was one time!"

"Two."

My face began to grow warm. "Johnathan, shut up."

"I think you were screaming ‘daddy’ at that point."

"If you don't shut it I'm gonna-"

"What? Beat my ass? Little Chihuahua. You won't do shit."

I pouted and snatched the controller from his hands. "Asshole. I'll show you how a professional does it."

"I thought you didn't have the mental capacity to do it." He mocked me, trying to make a high pitch voice.

"It's gonna shut you up to see how much better I am than you. Also, I don't sound like that."

"Mhm, you're such a whiny brat."

I gave him a death glare before turning my attention back to the game so I could ignore his jabs. I fired and dodged, landing attacks and ultimate shots and almost taking out the opposing team entirely. There were a few moments of standstill as they regrouped and charged towards my team again but I was ready at the front lines. I was leaning my body with each attack, bouncing a bit in excitement and wiggling my hips when I could tell I was close to winning. I always moved with the character as if somehow it would affect my gameplay in any way, shape, or form. "Eri...quit moving like that." Johnny grunted from behind me.

I shushed him. "I'm almost done hold on."

"Get off my lap then."

"Give me a sec!" I saw the word victory flash across my screen and I jumped up, sticking my tongue out at him. "You're lucky I saved you. You were dragging the entire team down and you can thank me for all the x.p you gained" He looked up at me, his hand covering the lower half of his face as if he was thinking about something. He eased a couch pillow over his lap and adjusted how he was sitting. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He cleared his throat. "You gonna play again?"

"Maybe. You were right, I like the shooty shooty death death." I pushed the pillow against his stomach and resumed my seat on his lap.

"Eri, no!" He protested.

"Shh, I'm about to start, the server just found a game. I gotta concentrate."

"Then don't move around so much."

"It helps me win! I swear it!"

He groaned and I settled myself against him, getting whisked to the character selection screen. I went back to concentrating, happy to have my mind clawing at something entertaining and time consuming. His hand laid on the armrest, drumming his fingers obnoxiously loud. I nudged his hand to try and get him to quit it as I landed a barrage of rockets on an enemy. "Stop that."

"Stop moving then."

"Are you really that annoyed with it?" I rolled my eyes. "Big baby."

"Yes, I'm very annoyed."

"It's just how I play, Johnny. It's no big deal."

"It is when you're on my lap."

"What difference does it make?! I-" I looked back at him. "Ooohhhh…."

"Yeah, oh! Off please!" He said, tapping at my thigh.

I stood up quickly. “Way to be a 12 year old boy.”

“Way to be irritating.” He kicked at my thigh playfully. “It’s not like im really turned on or anything just like...bodily reaction. I just didn’t want to upset you.”

“Why would I be upset?”

“Eri, you cried in the middle of us fucking. I don’t want that to happen again.”

“It was just a weird moment...a one time thing.” I sighed and exited the game before sitting beside him. “It won't happen again.”

“How do you know that for sure? There's no way to tell. You don't have to push yourself to do things."

I wrapped my finger around the hem of my sleep shirt. “I don’t feel like I’m pushing myself. I want to do it. I just don’t want to be wrapped up in my feelings."

"Then take some time to clear your head."

"I know you're right about everything. I even thought over what you said about not feeling guilty. I know I don't have to and that I really shouldn't. It was probably just from all the stuff my mom said, like I didn’t care about anything that was going on. But I care so much, maybe too much. About everyone."

"Sounds like you put others before you."

I kept my head low and tightened my finger around the fabric. "Well…"

"You take care of Lucas, you take care of Quinn. You held your entire house down while your family was basically falling apart. You take care of your little sister and hell...you've kinda taken care of me. Stop it, Eri. You know that you deserve to be happy right?"

"That sounds strange coming from you." I scoffed. I want to be happy with you, idiot, but clearly your idea of happiness involves us being nothing more than fuckbuddies. I sighed. No, he wasn't my only source of happiness. I had to remember that. I felt some semblance of the emotion when I was with my friends, when I was onstage, when I worked hard on my journalism. It was difficult to fully grasp the feeling but I knew what parts of it felt like. I needed to remember what it was like to smile and laugh. What made those reactions anyway? It felt like such a foreign concept now but I needed to force myself to remember. I wasn't ready to lay in a pool of my own blood again.

"Look, I can only be there for you as a friend but friends want each other to be happy. I don't really like seeing you miserable. When you were playing just now, I saw a bit of the old you come back. I just want to see you smile again." He set his hand on my thigh and gave it a light squeeze. "Know what I mean?"

"Yeah...what makes you happy then, friend?"

He seemed taken aback by my question. "Oh...hmm…" He set his elbow on the armrest and propped his chin in his palm. "Photography, I guess. Music...having time to myself. Waking up next to someone I love- I mean in the future! That specific part would be in the future! Like when I'm 30 or some shit…"

"Being in love is weird. I hate it." I said flatly.

"Tell me about it."

We both looked at each other momentarily then dodged our eyes so they wouldn't meet. We didn't say anything for awhile and the load screen music of the game was starting to make me feel like I was suffocating. "Johnny…" I swallowed hard. My heart thundered like a war drum. "I have to tell you something."

"O-oh? What's that?"

"Thanks for...looking out for me and taking care of me."

He burst into laughter that sounded like it was laced with unease and nervousness. "Oh, that's all?!" He shoved at my shoulder almost knocking me on my side. "Dumbass, I thought it was something important!"

"It is important to me, jerk." I rubbed my shoulder and grumbled. "I'm trying to be extra gay and tell you how I feel so it's not in my brain and I don't fucking cry anymore."

"Shit...sorry. It's just...not something I'm used to, even with all our talks. I know you thanked me for decking Matt in the face-"

"Defending me and protecting me from them ganging up on us." I reminded him.

"Ah...yeah, that. But um...I don't feel like I need to be thanked for it. It's just what people should do."

I got up and stood in front of him. "Just accept my thank you and shut up." I flicked his forehead hard and watched as he recoiled instantly.

"Ow!! You're so violent I swear!"

"You're just a baby." I kissed the red spot on his forehead and then gave him one on his cheek. I was planning on pulling away but he gripped my hand tightly, keeping me close.

"I am not. You're just a jerk." He smiled and pressed our lips together rather lightly. "A cute jerk."

"Well that's true at least." We both laughed and kept our smiles. "How's that boner treating you?" I teased.

He grabbed the pillow from his lap and hit it against my stomach. "Will you shut up!?"

"That's what you get for calling me splash mountain!" I hit him back with the pillow and he tried to work around my barrage of attacks to get a hold of my waist. He tried to pull me down onto the couch but I caught myself on the back of it, my chest landing against his face. "Good job, idiot! I almost kneed you."

"I'm ok with this though." He said, muffled.

I rolled my eyes and pulled away before I suffocated him. "I don't even know why I hang out with you."

He set his hands on my upper thigh, trailing upwards. "Because you- you're not wearing panties?" He said suddenly.

I looked down at the now pushed up shirt and shrugged. "No. I just rolled out of bed and put this on." I put my legs on the outside of his and sat down on his lap. "Perv. Are you turned on now or is it still just "bodily reaction?"

He reclined back and ruffled his hair away from his face. "You haven't done anything to turn me on. You think you wearing my shirt with no panties and bouncing around is sexy? Please." He said sarcastically and smirked.

"Nooo of course not. Why would that ever be considered sexy?" I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning in closer to him.

"Eri…" He hesitated for a moment and licked his lips, preparing himself for what he was going to say.

I knew he was going to say that he was worried about me but that's not what I wanted to hear at this moment. I'm sure our minds were on two different paths. Mine was focused on justifying our unfinished fuck though he could care less and he was focused on making sure that I was ok, a commendable and cherishable act yet my currently depressive thoughts weren't something I wished to focus on. "I'm fine, I swear." I covered his neck in rushed kisses to entice him into joining me. He grabbed onto the back on my neck and forced me away from him making me pout and simultaneously wiggle my hips against his lap. His stern voice was coming next, I could already tell. "Please?" I begged softly before he could even say anything. "We both know we'd rather do this then focus on our problems."

"Yeah but...we should stop that…"

"You first." I challenged. "If you don't want to do it then fine. I can get going. I've been here long enough anyway "

"Don't be like that. I don't need to pick you over fucking."

"I'm not saying you have to Johnny and I'm not saying it's the only reason I would stay here. I'm happy being in your arms and I have been for the past couple of days. I've loved everything you've done for me but you know this is how we feel good."

He sighed and squeezed me tight. "Why are you so damn irritating, babe?"

"You haven't gotten rid of me in almost four months, it's your own damn fault."

He chuckled as he placed his lips against my neck, sinking a bite in slowly. My fingers curled into his shoulder as I exhaled a whimper. He pulled away when he was satisfied with his mark he kissed it gently before trailing a tantalizing lick up my neck. "We should head back to my room."

"What for?" I turned towards him, capturing him in a flurry of bites and hungry kisses. My hands we already crawling towards his sweatpants, sliding them down his hips bones and waiting for him to break free.

"Didn't we learn our lesson last time? I don't need Jae bursting through the door and seeing you again."

"Hasn't he been staying at my place? We're fine. I don't care anyway. Come here." I finally freed him and lifted my hips, guiding him back to my entrance.

"Slut."

"Jackass." I sunk down onto him slowly making him moan instantly. He tried groping at my hips again but I grabbed his wrists and kept them by his side. "I have to thank you properly. So sit back and don't touch."

"Don't t-touch?" His brows furrowed deeply when I let my hips rise and fall on him, making sure every last inch disappeared inside me.

"Mhm," I groaned and let my eyes slip closed. "Let me do this. I'll let you control me later I promise."

A little growl surfaced which made me wiggle my hips eagerly. He was struggling with keeping up with my request even though he was trying. His arms flexed with tension as I kept him pinned. He could easily overpower me and toss me down to do whatever he pleased but he let me have my fun for now. I was too wrapped up in rolling my hips and letting the slight curve of his cock ride against my walls and send me into a fit of soft pants and moans. His thighs clenched beneath me and he used them to force me forward. I braced my chest against his as he pressed through the tightness and slammed into the deepest part of me. I rushed out a curse and dug my knees into the couch harder, feeling the fabric scratch against my skin.

"Take off my shirt, princess. Let me see you."

I shook my head quickly. "You're not getting away with-ah-ahh!" He shoved me forward again, testing my limits and bringing me closer to cumming way before I even wanted to.

"What was that?" I wanted to smack the smugness out of his voice but I myself was silenced by more bites flourishing against the weakest parts of my neck. My hold on his wrists was starting to falter and I prayed for my mind to lift itself from the lust fueled haze it was under to keep my strength up. But it was no use, his hands switched to grab my wrists and pulled my arms behind my back, using all the leverage he could to slam into me with frenzied thrusts. I pressed my lips together and nudged my forehead against his shoulder, silently begging for him to keep this heavy pace. His deep voice teased at my ear, murmuring my name and singing praises to how good I felt. For once he wasn't being cheesy or vulgar and every one of his sugary sweet words made my body flush.

I burrowed my face into the crook of his neck to keep myself from whining pathetically. Every once in awhile, as I rolled my hips with his thrusts, his girth would manage to brush against my clit and sends waves of gluttonous indulgence throughout my body. I caved in and moaned his name, straining through pleads of him to make me cum. "Maybe I'll make you work a little harder for it since you wanted to try and pin me down."

I shook my head vigorously. "N-no! Just let me-" He released my arms and threw me down onto the couch. The wind was almost knocked out of me and I struggled to paw at his hands that were grabbing at the sleep shirt and yanking it from my body. Once I was completely bare, he shoved his sweats down his thighs, not even really bothering to kick them off all the way. He was much more eager to toss my leg over his shoulder and rush back inside me, swift and deliciously rough. He was dangerous when he was like this, simultaneously punishing me for not giving myself a break or listening to him but also falling into our horrid pattern of fucking each other senseless when we were at our wits end. I was falling in deeper into an abyss that only he could take me to before I was swallowed up and couldn't find where he started and I ended.

He kept my legs firmly in place not allowing me to squirm or escape the overwhelming thrusts that drove me to insanity. I reached above my head to hold onto the armrest as my back bowed towards him. His hand switched from my thigh to grip around my neck. "We were around here last time, weren't we? Before I fucked you from behind and we were interrupted?" He smirked and licked his lips. "You came so hard, didn't you?"

"S-shut it!" I gasped and clutched at his wrist. My little wisecrack only got my windpipe constricted further. My eyes rolled back and I could feel the lightheadedness already starting to settle. My body clenched tight, my chest struggled to expand and my hold on him dissipated. The only thing I could feel was the sudden burst of ecstasy that always came when I was teetering on the verge of lifelessness. My wetness pooled around him, sliding down to meet the couch cushions beneath me. I tapped out then and his fingers unfurled from my neck. I was a trembling mess all over again and wanted to curl up. He let my leg fall from him and I pulled them both towards my chest. I gripped the edge of the couch as I waited to come down from my high but my peacefulness ended quickly.

Johnny spread my cheeks open, allowing him to see every bit of me. His hips snapped against my ass drawing harsh throbs from his cock and wavering mumbles from his lips. I could hardly stand the way he forced himself through every bit of my sensitive and sore body but I craved for him to feel just as good as I did. He leaned over me, delving his tongue into my mouth and sucking on mine greedily. I cupped his face in my hands, our moans overlapping as his thrusts morphed into sloppy chaos. His tough demeanor melted into his soft and sweet nature, blushing hard and keeping his eyes squeezed shut when he asked me where he should cum. I let him have his way with wherever he wanted, feeling the thick heated ropes fall into my lower lips, thighs, and ass. I sighed softly and listened to him catch his breath. He plopped down on the couch and relaxed while I remained still for fear of staining the cushions.

"Hey, shithead," I exhaled. "Gonna clean this up?"

He let out an exaggerated groan. "Do I have to?"

I sat up a bit and shot him a glare. "Johnathan."

He huffed and grabbed his shirt off the floor, wiping me down lazily. I rolled my eyes and smacked his hands away, opting to do it myself. "Big baby. I'm gonna shower, are you coming?"

"Yeah I will." He yawned. We both stood up though my legs were much more shakier than his. He pulled up his sweats from around his thighs and set his arm around my waist, guiding me towards his room. Suddenly, we heard the front door unlock, signaling Jae's return. We made a mad dash for Johnny's room and slammed the door behind us with just fractions of a second to spare. Both of us fell into a fit of laughter as we hoped Jae hadn't seen us. We weren’t in the mood to get griped at for fucking on the couch again.

"Quinn says you have to go home, Eri!" Jae said as he passed by the door.

I rolled my eyes. "Ugh…great."

"What is she your mother now?" Johnny scoffed.

"They're right. I need to get back to class and work tomorrow. I'm having my mom send the papers from the hospital and funeral to me so I can get excused and hopefully won't lose anything." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. "Will you drive me back since Quinn took my car home?"

"Of course. But first, shower."

--

I sighed as I stood in front of my therapist's office. I was grateful that she was able to get me in on such short notice but definitely not ready to spill out everything that had happened to me all over again. I knocked and she beckoned me in, greeting me with a smile when I tiptoed through. She had already gotten my file up and was clacking away at her computer as I sat across from her on the couch. I waited for her to finish, awkwardly staring at my boots and pulling off my heavy coat. I heard my phone ping and ignored it but it happened again and again and again. "Sorry," I said. "I'm just gonna check this real quick."

"Take your time, I'm just updating some stuff..no biggie."

I nodded and pulled up my messages not ready for the sudden round of next level bullshit that was thrown my way. Taeyong had sent me screenshots of some sort of group chat he was in. In between slutty emojis and jokes where pictures of me, naked, getting fucked, tied up, gagged, stuffed, anything, you name it. Yuta and Ten were the main culprits behind it but there were one or two that were posted by Lucas. The worst part was that I didn't remember taking any of these. I never sent any nudes that were longer than a few seconds on Snapchat, trying to keep my record as clean as possible. These seemed to be forced onto me without my consent and the way they were sharing them so carefree had me sick to my stomach. These three were supposed to be my friends, Lucas one of my best mates. Yet here they were thinking it was okay to spread this without my permission. My mouth dried completely and I had no idea how to even begin to respond. He sent me another screen shot of a message that was beneath the photos. It was from Johnny and read "How many more do you have?"

My heart dropped to the ground. He was interested in these? In seeing me like this without my permission? Another text from Taeyong.

Sorry you had to find out this way but I figured you should know. It was fucked up so I asked them to stop but then Johnny said that and well…

I don't know how much more they have. Do you want me to ask? Or do you want to handle it yourself?

I can help though. I don't want this shit getting out more.

I dropped my phone onto the couch and covered my face, ready to absolutely lose it.

"Eri, are you ok? What's going on?"

I pushed my hair back as the tears started. They felt hot, almost burning with every emotion I could manage to feel at once. "I'm ready to just kill myself."

#Johnny Fanfic #johnny #johnny suh #JOHNNY SMUT #johnny seo #NCT #nct 127 fanfic #johnny nct #nct 127 fanfiction #NCT 127 #messy

[pettyelves]

feast on the weak III

[pt1 pt2] [companion by reveria]

"You..." He said quietly. Casually. "Woul' ge' bored with a gentle man an' you woul' chase a soft man into his grave quicker than time itself."

He was right. And the night of the fire, she proved to Kurel that he was unmatched by any that came before him and any who would attempt to come after. The wee hours of the morning promised uncertainty and danger, but in the night she showed him tenderness and he returned it.

Eilithe awoke to his fingers against her spine and sun worn lips to her head. “Wake up. It’s time.” 

The moon was just barely still hanging in the sky over Elwynn when Eilithe arrived at the safe house much more armored than Kurel. His precaution for giving his other half potentially more advantages than it already had was sweet-- but did not fit Eilithe’s narrative of ‘It will all be fine’. 

“Go into the woods," she said to the two Sun Wardens. "Come back when I tell you to, so don't go far. And stay together." Neither of them questioned the Arbiter, assuming whatever was happening was about to be above their pay grade. They were right.

Housed in this particularly safe house was a captured prisoner-- though it wasn’t any man or demon. No, inside was a rock that at first glance, was a ordinary. Until one noticed the jagged teeth that jutted out of a lip in the middle of its body. Its sharp edges were offset by deep cracks and it rolled or hopped to get around. What disturbed Eilithe most was that looking at the monster’s teeth, she noticed that there were all different types. Elves, humans, animals. 

“We do you wan’ me?” Kurel’s voice came. 

She wanted him home, in bed-- awaiting the sound of their children’s feet to patter across the floor. A signal for them to get up and start their day. 

"Just lay there against the wall.”

There were no chains that could hold the behemoth inside of Kurel when it broke free. The last time the other half of Kurel had freed himself, Eilithe had nearly died trying to carve the brand that stared back at Eilithe now, from across the room. 

For three years, that thing had held. 

Eilithe cut along her palm and dipped her fingers into the blood. The cage holding the toothy rock was set beside Kurel and as she wove a trapping rune on the ground she listened to the creature thud its head into the bars. Thud. Thud. Thud. It shrieked, hungry.  

Once her mark was painted onto the ground. Eilithe crossed the room to press a long kiss to his lips, which for them was the only goodbye ever shared. She stood on top of her seal, faced off against him.

“When you’re ready put your hand in the cage.” Eilithe readied herself, which was really just here, standing there-- controlling her breathing. She watched as the Rock sprang up and snapped its jaws delighted. "EATS EATS EATS!" He jumped and latched onto the meatiest finger. A hunk of flesh was his snack and the deep bite would bleed.

feast on the weak, subjugate the strong.

She watched the slivers of blackness crawl up Kurel’s arm. It wasn’t right-- it had taken more time when the rock had bit her. 

"How do we know? If we're righ'... if we're wrong."

"I...don't know, " Eilithe said, resisting the urge to run across to him. "It.. I didn't even notice at first, just... rage and paranoia, a headache. And by time I started acting strangely you reasoned with me and I cut it out."

His breathing quickened, like he was fighting back panic. Then his head raised, like he was looking at someone beside him. “ Thelonas." And so she was left with only one conclusion.

The dark passenger within Kurel had been waiting for an opportunity like this since the War of Dead Sun when Eilithe had imprisoned him. POP POP POP. Three seals of five, then four.

“It isn’t real, Kurel!” 

"KUREL LISTEN TO ME! HE'S NOT REAL!" She screamed it, in a way that rattled the walls of the shack, like the creaking of a massive ship on the water. "Fight it, Kurel." Eilithe began sucking in magic, death magic had a way of making the air in the room as cold as the Void did. She took up her ritual knife and  clutched it, not as though she would attack him but pointed, blade at herself. The rock seemed to chatter and bounce at this. It was excited to see the pair of them unravel so quickly. 

  "Living,” Kurel said, but it was not to Eilithe. "No..." Kurel choked on the word. That fifth rune burst and the instant it did, a soul gutting sound of pain ripped from Kurel's throat. He made as if he intended to run, but made no further than onto his hands and knees. The bones in his body cracked and moved. Muscle swelled and expanded. The pigment of his skin turned redder.  His hands more like claws and from his forehead sprouted horns. The rocks which had steadily been moving beneath his skin like blood through vessels, began to literally be purged through the pours between his scaly skin and tinkled like rain drops on the floor as the behemoth slowly began to rise up onto two feet. 

When the final seal burst, a flood of magic hit Eilithe squarely in the chest. The eye at the center of his own brand seared between her breasts, she went sailing across the room and hit the wall. "Vula, manje," she said, groaning. The spell came to life and the room around them pulsed and shimmer.

 "It's just you and me." She said, getting to her feet, clutching the knife. "And I'll take us both to the Void, before you leave here like that. If we go, we're going together." The magic in the air twisted, and with it so did Eilithe's soul within his chest. But the soul wasn't preparing to leave him-- it was pulling, like a magnet. "Ngesango lokufa," she said, raising the knife up. Her soul, Svalte’s, and Vrede’s practically lifted out right then. "UKENDA IMILIGO!" Eilithe rammed the knife in hard stab to the abdomen. It was the sort of stab, that would be lethal with enough time. 

A glass shattering shriek came out of her and with it so did Eilithe's soul shoot to the half remaining within him. While the traditional Ukenda voided most magic, this was a most advanced version. A kind that required a sacrifice. When she cast this spell normally, a droplet of blood was usually all that was needed but with the goal being to immobilize the demon  to give her soul time to repair the damage, Eilithe had to give up more.

Eilithe's soul would twist and pull inside of Kurel's body, essentially taking the war to the inside of him. With every moment Eilithe was dying, demonic magics that fueled him would be harder to maintain.

Inside of Kurel’s body it was crowded and hot. Eilithe’s soul felt the slow death of its body as the behemoth smashed her around. Four sharp claws dragged down the original brand on Kurel’s chest, and so Eilithe would have to carve a new one. 

She ripped at his back, carving with her very essence a new brand. Eilithe was not sure how Reveria, Xavier, An’Set, and Velerodra had gotten there-- but she could only hear them. Inside of Kurel, she could feel too as An’Set’s knife dragged across the behemoth’s skin. “Do not kill him.” She tried to say, but none of them heard her. 

It was then that Reveria’s magic dared to pull on her. She could not fathom why Reveria would even attempt to pull her out of where she was. And this would be the source of deep resentment if she survived. Thrice as hard was it to to continue her work. Reveria pulled in one direction. Her in another. And Death itself tugged and told her it was time to cross over. 

With her work nearly finished, Eilithe’s soul rose out of his back and burst into pieces, preparing to rain down into the bloody seal that was carved into his back. 

Then. Time stopped. 

Awareness was difficult. And there was an eeriness to the idea that while they were frozen, all throughout the forest things kept moving. Could she hear herself breathing? No, it was the icy breath of Death that waited, with patience for her to get this over with and die.

By some miracle, her voice spoke against Xavier’s ear.

“Let.” “Me.” “Free”

There was a hiccup as time started again, in time for spidery limbs to pin the behemoth down and Eilithe’s soul to power the mark in a hard, grey flash of light. 

Stillness came again. Kurel transforming back into the man she married. Outside, her dying body had been dragged. The knife in her chest, removed. Death receded from this place. 

Yet, Eilithe stay coiled in her lover’s back, she was too weak to leave him so quickly. It was all-in-all two hours she had spent outside of her body, and when she returned to it-- only half of her did. Eilithe’s soul was split between them, Half of her to power the mark on his back, half to keep her physical body up and running around. 

It was a whole night before they would wake in the New Year, his arms hold her to his chest. Their son asleep on the floor beside them.  “You coul’ have died.” He rasped out. “I didn’t.” She said, then protested as he went to Xavier to collect him.  “I know you didn’... an’ I will carry him.”

That morning, Kurel would stoop to lift their grown son up in his arms and carry him out of the safe house and into the daylight. 

@kurel-andiel​ @revthepunchbear​ @xavier-sunshadow​ @velerodra-valesinger​

#feast on the weak III #finale #happy new year #it walks among us

[spirit-of-the-void]

Ebony and Ivory (V x Reader Fanfic) Chapter 27

Author’s notes: This chapter is interesting to be sure, let’s keep it rolling kids! Gonna see a lot more of other point of views this time around.

Chapter 27

(Griffon  POV)

Bad, this was bad.

You had been out like a light for a while now. As soon as Nightmare wrapped you up in his strong, demonic arms your eyes closed and you lost all consciousness. It was for the best, but the bird wasn’t anticipating just how far down they would have to go. The tree was collapsing, making for treacherous travel, a lot of climbing and maneuvering, two things Nightmare was really shitty at. They were doing their best, but they were running out of Vergil’s residual energy. Which was the bad part. Everything had turned into a race against the clock, trying to get you somewhere safe to heal and recover before they had to return to your form.

Griffon had vaguely noted the silver cane that V formerly used before they set out. Dante had walked right past it, leaving it glinting in the sun with nowhere to go. He didn’t know why, but the bird grabbed it, swooping over quickly and returning back with it clutched in his talons. Any reminders of the poet would hurt you, that was obvious, but...he felt like it belonged to you now. After all, it was what V used to command them in the first place. So he chucked it into Nightmare’s swirling form, letting the bigger familiar absorb it into himself and making a mental note to tell you about it at some point. You deserved to have something left from him at least.

Griffon was still trying to process it all--being inside the body and mind of someone new was strange. And when it came to you, he was learning a lot more and realizing things he wish he’d known earlier. Christ, you were a fucking mess. Just as bad as Shakespeare was. Hell, you were almost worse, there was so many things to unpack about your trauma and body, he wasn’t sure where to start. There was this underlying feeling of pain constantly radiating in your limbs, that swirling Void power always leaving a dull ache in your stomach and chest. Was this how it felt for you all the time? Just how long did you suffer in pain? It never showed, save for the occasional wince or hand to your temple.

Fuck, he felt bad. You were such a cheerful thing before, but underneath was a storm of bullshit he didn’t know how to help. This whole situation had just fucked you up more. He should have been honest with you from the beginning, but what the hell would that have changed?

Regardless, that didn’t matter now. Getting you to the van did. But it looked like that wasn’t going to happen. They made it about halfway down before Nightmare’s steps started to slow, as if the tar-like substance that made up his body was sticking to the floor. Griffon was feeling fatigued himself, but they couldn’t afford to stop now, not being so high up. If the tree went down, you would get hurt badly--not to mention the threat of demons still crawling around.

“Come on, you big lug!” Griffon squawked at the giant moving ever so slowly along. But he was panting, exhaustion in his tone just from flapping his wings, “Get a move on, no time to rest now…! Gotta get her to the bottom at least!”

Nightmare’s eye rolled eerily over to look at him, conveying every ounce of annoyance he felt for his avian companion. Yeah, he got it loud and clear. Mouth shut, eyes forward. Couldn’t make what was impossible, possible. To be completely honest, Griffon was expecting them to kill Dante or at least die trying, then fade into nothing like Vergil wanted them to. You had never been a part of the equation, and if you had...he wouldn’t have wasted so much energy trying to blast away the idiotic demon hunter. He would have waited, so they could get you down the stupid fucking tree without so much issue.

Yeah. Planning ahead wasn’t his best feature.

It was an unfortunate trait that he began to regret more and more, finally coming to an ultimate wall when Nightmare stopped entirely, falling to his knees still holding you. Fuck, that wasn’t good--they were never going to make it down the tree at that rate, leaving you exposed and in danger up on a goddamn ledge. Griffon panted heavily, landing on the ground next to Nightmare as he sat you gently down, your head lolling to the side in your unconsciousness. The bird felt a pang of guilt as he stared at your face, taking in the dark circles under your eyes and the pallid color of your skin. You looked like hell and then some, the days events showing on you and taking their toll. Griffon felt awful. The look you wore when he saw you standing there, watching them fight…

Damn it, he didn’t like feeling this guilty. What was he supposed to do? They had fucked up, all of them including the poet. Griffon had been concerned all along that this would happen, encouraging it in the beginning but...he didn’t know then. How could the bird have imagined just how close you and V would become? At first it seemed amusing, an attempt to get V laid and loosened up a bit. But getting to know you, seeing how you interacted with him made the bird realize just how dangerous it could get. Love was never part of the plan. But V still never stopped, he went through with it despite his guilt and reservations. And that...fucking sucked.

“Shit, fuck,” Griffon panted, nosing your face with his beak and trying to will you awake, “Up and at em’, toots! We can’t go any further, you gotta pause that nap for a little bit…!”

You gave no sign of stirring, so deep under now that any and all chances of waking you were slim to none. Griffon looked up anxiously at Nightmare, meeting his glowing eye and letting out a light trill. What the hell were they supposed to do? Even the giant was at a loss, sitting back on his ass with a heavy thud and closing that eye of his. He had no juice left either. Griffon grunted lightly, trying to latch his claws onto you and hoist your body up, but he had no energy left either. You were heavier than Shakespeare--the man was a twig and you were healthy and having more...er...filled out areas.

“We’re so fucked,” Griffon groaned, slumping over your form and pressing his head to your hair, “We tried, but we’re still useless. God damn  it!”

There was no response from the other familiar, which was typical. Wouldn’t stop Griffon from muttering to himself.

“We fucked up big time,” He continued to grunt, ruffling his feathers and staring ahead while he talked to no one in particular, “Could have told her in the beginning, could have saved her from all this bad shit. But no. Had to be as dumb as Shakespeare--bonus points for being an even bigger dumbass earlier.”

Nightmare made no sound, but Griffon could feel the exasperation coming from him. The bird was fighting the urge to absorb back into your body, debating if maybe Shadow could come out and drag you a bit further at the very least. But that could be a waste of energy better suited for protecting you where the other two couldn’t, Shadow being the only one who stayed in your body while they traveled downwards. The mighty cat materialized as soon as the thought popped into his skull, landing on their paws in a cloud of black dust. As much as he hated it, they would be forced to summon back for at least a little while, leaving Shadow to make sure no baddies tried to come at you.

“Stay with her for a bit,” Griffon told the cat, exhaustion in his tone from blasting so may demons on the way down. Shadow blinked their red eyes, sitting back and listening attentively to the bird as he continued, “If we play our cards right...we can move her down in bursts. Just...just gotta catch our breath.”

Shadow bowed their head, understanding flickering along the connection they shared as the cat settled along your form. Providing warmth, ears flickering as they watched over the ledge and incline downwards. Griffon knew they could last for an hour at least, providing cover and protection while Nightmare and Griffon recharged a bit. That is...unless they wouldn’t be able to--you were so injured, tank running on empty and healing on top of all of it. If you were still weak, they couldn’t very well get energy from you. It was his last thought when he and Nightmare finally succumbed to the need, turning into dust once more and taking their place under your skin.

They would reach that hurdle when it came. But if not...well. Griffon could pray for a miracle, right?

(Vergil POV)

Well. To say that Vergil’s day had been strange would be far understating the true gravity of it all.

His memories were spotty, fuzzy. A whirlwind of things from the past, the present, and things that didn’t even seem like he lived through them at all. Upon reawakening as his full, revived self his skull had rattled with things that were definitely unfamiliar to the elder son of Sparda. It was disorienting, strange, unsettling. He felt far more whole and complete than ever before, and yet...there was a sense of being disjointed, unsure of himself. He felt different, changed, unlike who he was before separating man from demon but still retaining all his base personality and desires.

Vergil still carried his mistrust of Dante, the resentment. Though it was changed now, mellowed and quiet in comparison to how he was before. It would be fair to say Vergil himself felt a lot more in control of himself compared to when he stabbed his form with the Yamato, body no longer damaged and his nightmares remaining from being Nelo Angelo seemingly...gone. But that wasn’t to say things weren’t growing more hectic and confusing by the second, mind struggling to keep up with it all whilst maintaining his usual demeanor. Those defense mechanisms were kicking in, the ones Vergil was reluctant to admit he had at all.

For one, he had memories from his demonic half. The more unsettling ones, memories of erecting the tree and the death of so many human beings. Vergil was not a man easily made uncomfortable, or guilty for that matter...but such sensations existed, and they irritated him on top of tugging at the edges of his thoughts. The memories were in his head, but they didn’t feel like his. Disjointed, the actions beyond his will and plans when he used the Yamato on himself--to be completely honest, he had not anticipated that when he did such a thing it would literally separate his two halfs entirely. The son of Sparda had convinced himself that it would merely cast away his humanity, leaving him with the same consciousness but a stronger, less brittle form. To make him wholly and completely demonic in nature.

He was not so lucky. Such actions had caused him to stumble around in two, separate forms for a while. And one cause so much death and destruction on the city Vergil wasn’t sure how to process it.

His mind focused on what it knew in an attempt to defend itself from the guilt. Dante was here, and he wanted to fight. That provided normalcy, amusement. That was something Vergil knew, remembered, and understood. A deep, burning need to defeat his brother, to prove himself stronger. It was something to root himself in reality, and he kept to that while his mind allowed it, fighting his brother like old times and reveling in his newfound strength. Vague memories of taking a bite out of the forbidden, powerful fruit lingered on the edges of his memory, explaining why he felt so spry and alive. But...it didn’t make a difference.

Dante still held his own. As always.

Why was he so strong, so powerful? He still had strength, enough so that Vergil found himself toe to toe with his brother, the one who didn’t eat the fruit at all. Maybe it was due to Vergil being distracted...he had a lot on his mind. First of all being the revelation of his son--Nero. Finding out he had spawned a child down the line was...staggering to say the least. Vergil was reluctant to admit he didn’t know when he went to get his sword back that Nero was his son, but it was pretty easy to guess in retrospect. Had he not been so broken then, sickly and dying...he could have figured it out. But he hadn’t, and he ripped off Nero’s arm without a second thought.

Did he feel guilty? He wanted to say no, mind not really dwelling on any of it too long. But...there was a twinge of something he tried to ignore. Focus on the fight, focus on beating Dante. A son is of little consequence. Right? He tried and tried not to think about it, but the knowledge was now a burden on his mind, so loud among the already chaotic thoughts and memories. He didn’t like having so much confusion, so much to worry about and that stupid, foolish guilt. That had to be why he lost to Dante, surely. All these new, chaotic thoughts had to have made him sloppy, giving his brother and edge he wouldn’t otherwise have.

And amidst all those chaotic thoughts...was you.

You were the most confusing of all the memories, Vergil unable to comprehend just what to think in regards to them. Upon waking up again, he couldn’t understand the images floating around in his consciousness, fuzzy and both familiar and unfamiliar. It was…curious. Strange. He was certain he had never met you before, but...he knew you. There was a familiarity there that he didn’t understand, so many tangling emotions pushing against his skull and only seeming to complicate things more.

Why? Why did he feel that hard ache in his chest when he saw your face? That horrified, broken expression you wore while staring at his newly awakened form. The shock, the remembrance when you attacked him--usually he would have simply pulled out his sword and struck you down. You were volatile, easily defeated in such a weak, collapsing state as you were. But he found hesitation there when he stared into your black eyes, a dull throbbing in his chest as he took in the blue streaks staining your cheeks, your lips. Why was that look you wore so upsetting? Those eyes, hollow and shattered as you begged him for answers, lips trembling and body pushing you far too much.

His first thought should have been “who is this girl? How pitiful”. But instead, he found his mind snapping to attention, realizing how much you were damaging yourself and...worrying? Surely not, but it was there. It was so perplexing to Vergil, mind reeling and trying to process even while his mouth spouted the first things he could think of.

Calling you the only name that came to mind. Sparrow. The look you wore when that name was uttered on his lips was seared into his brain--like he had slapped you across the face without realizing it. There was opportunity in such a distraction, but Vergil felt like it was a hollow victory. Like kicking a puppy.

Even after fighting Dante, then Nero in turn he couldn’t shake it. The way your tone cracked, voice wavering painfully as you asked him “why?”. Your black eyes, filling with tears and lips trembling as blow-tinted tears rolled down your cheeks.

He didn’t like that, didn’t like the thoughts and emotions he couldn’t seem so shake. Especially more intimate ones, things he surely should not have. Of cupping your cheeks, stroking your hair and touching your lips. Of you underneath him, eyes staring at him in adoration as his tattooed finger slipped over your mouth…

Such a memory was dangerous, threatening to make him falter when he should otherwise focus.

What in the world was happening to him? Those were not his hands. He bore no black tattoos, but...he remembered times where he had. Of the familiars he commanded, the manifestation of his nightmares made real. These were the memories of his human half, of that he was able to figure out fairly quickly. And that was...alarming. Why was he seeing all of these things, these images and thoughts mingled with the demonic ones as well? It left him questioning so much, torn between feeling the emotions and images as his own and like they belonged to someone else.

That was him, a part of him. He felt both connected and not.

How unbelievably confusing--Vergil was just barely able to cope with it all, maintaining himself through the fight with Nero. And that, too, lead to defeat. Why was his son so strong? He had a strange power, a curious one, holding his own perfectly fine against his father despite his diluted demonic blood. The fact that Nero came to stop the fighting at all was so perplexing to him, since he clearly meant nothing to the boy after not knowing him his whole life. Why was he so determined to try, to get between Vergil and Dante in their fights? It was irritating, but even Vergil knew when he was beat.

He tried to tell himself it was due to him fighting Dante earlier. Maybe.

But he stopped when Nero asked of it, deciding that taking down the Qliphoth was more important than defeating his brother at that moment. He wanted to be done with the tree--maybe cutting it down would cut away some of that stupid, nagging guilt pinching the back of his skull? Such thoughts made Vergil scowl, but he bit back the annoyance and settled on letting Dante come with him despite his reservations. The annoying, white-haired sibling provided a distraction that Vergil felt he needed with everything going on.

Nero also asked about you, like he expected you to already be up with the other two when he arrived. That made Vergil both surprised and uneasy, the idea of seeing you again was...a strange one. Dante explained to the worried boy that he had sent you back down the tree, but didn’t elaborate in the slightest bit. They had a job to do, a tree to cut down in the underworld.

As for Nero, he wasn’t allowed to come. A single, hard placed fist to the face from the brothers sent him flying back, sprawling on his ass several feet away. Vergil admired his dedication, but he was another thing the cold man really didn’t want to think about while they cut down the damned tree. Besides, he had things to take care of on the surface and had no place in hell like the rest of them. He was filled with that humanity Vergil didn’t care for, emotional and brash through the entire fight and filled to the brim with resentment. He wanted to prove himself, with Vergil didn’t have the patience for.

“Take care, Nero,” Dante said with a smile and a salute, stepping back while the boy sat up and stared at them both with annoyance, “Adios.”

He leapt off the side of the Qliphoth, turning into his Sin Devil Trigger form and gliding down toward where the portal opened below. Vergil lingered for a moment, meeting Nero’s eyes and sizing him up one more time. He did certainly look like him, there in that furrowed brow and in his eyes and lips. But his attitude and emotions were very reminiscent of Dante, who definitely had a hand in shaping who Nero had become. Vergil let out a low hum of amusement, a bit of a smirk curving his lips as he pulled out the book he acquired as a child.

“I won’t lose next time,” He promised, tone full of cold challenge as he tossed the leather-bound novel onto the floor in front of his son, “Hold onto that until then.”

It was a declaration, and also...a reassurance. That he and Dante would return, despite how cut and dry things seemed. And he would come back--there was a score to settle now. He wanted to see just how powerful his son could be, a rematch after he wasn’t so scattered in the head. Distracted. That was what he blamed for so many losses after another--surely he would do better if he didn’t have so many confusions and concerns.

Vergil turned, sparing Nero one last glance before he launched himself up, turning into his own blue Sin Devil Trigger form and diving in the direction Dante had taken. The rush of air past his armored body felt good after the stagnant heat of the Qliphoth, wings gliding him quickly downward to reach the portal he had caused. Up in the air, the destruction was plain to see--the Earth cracked, buildings ruined, broken roots lining the streets down below that were now empty of human life. The tree itself was ugly, an annoying eyesore despite the fact that it had lead to Vergil gaining more power, devouring its fruit and regaining his vitality. And what good that did him--he still lost to the other two. Still lacking, it would seem.

And what an annoying thought that was. The fact that despite all his efforts, he was still lacking the necessary strength to fight his brother. So many failed attempts had only ended in ruin, and now several deaths added to the price paid for the sake of power. Vergil was...tired. Too tired at that moment to maintain the level of anger he needed to keep his drive. The events of the month or so had left him different, and he needed to figure out whether he embraced the changes or not. It seemed like something worth thinking about briefly as he followed Dante’s path.

Vergil’s eyes scanned the tree on his way down, taking in the curling roots, the way it curved into the sky. It definitely needed to be destroyed, it served no purpose now but to be a reminder for how much things had gone poorly. It was already on the verge of dying, grey and turning brittle now that the fruit was--

He saw something that made him halt.

His wings pounded hard, sending up gusts of wind as he stopped his velocity in its tracks. In this form, his eyes were sharper, so he definitely wasn’t mistaking what he was seeing. There, on a ledge halfway down the tree. You were unmistakable--body prone on its side and the familiar form of Shadow curled protectively around you. Vergil hovered in the air, staring at you lying there unconscious with that nagging sensation pressing on the edges of his skull again. What the hell were you doing laying there? Dante claimed he had sent you back down, but it would seem you didn’t make it all the way. Something about that annoyed him--why would Dante send you back down in such a state?

She reached her limit, his mind thought on its own, it’s dangerous there. It came without him even thinking, the nagging voice in his brain urging him to help you. Instinctive. His clawed fingers clenched into fists, a low growl emanating from his glowing chest cavity as he trying to decide what to do. He had a job to do, a task to focus on that didn’t involve you in the slightest bit.

But...there was that feeling again, pressing to his chest at the sight of you lying there. Looking broken and tired, body curled up next to his former nightmare and not moving. And what was that about? Why was Shadow still around, the manifestation of his abominable thoughts sitting with you like a protective house cat? Dante failed to mention that you were being helped down by them, but it seemed to not be working out to begin with. Foolish. Vergil would have scowled if this form allowed it, his eyes narrowing slightly as he debated for a few more seconds what to do. That sensation grew, moving him closer without thinking so he could see your face, the way your hair pooled around your head. You looked exhausted, you looked...not like yourself.

Guilt.

God damn it.

Vergil growled again, wishing he could even remotely understand what he was feeling. He felt like a fool, body moving on its own and flying over to your ledge. Shadow looked up at the sound of beating wings, eyes narrowing and baring their teeth at the demonic male. He saw them jolt in the next instant, recognition flashing in those bright red eyes as they realized just who he was. How absurd it had to be, to see the very person that they once used to be a part of. Vergil landed, not breaking eye contact with the glorified house cat and watching how their pelt rippled warily with glowing patterns, ears flat against their skull. No friendliness left for their former master, it would seem. They certainly didn’t look happy to see him, curling around you more and lip curling up in warning.

Vergil tilted his gaze to you, making Shadow leap up and snarl loudly in threat, back arched and claws scraping against the greying ground. Vergil wasn’t fazed--Shadow was the manifestation of bad thoughts, made into a demon that he could easily defeat. But he took in your form, realizing by the changes he saw that the familiars now had to be yours. Tattoos lined your arms, a single part of your hair now black as it draped over your face. He remembered then, a brief few flashes of images that made him lose focus for a moment. Images of you with Griffon on your shoulders, laughing and grinning. Of you teary eyed, beaming as you kissed the top of Shadow’s head like they were a big, fluffy cat. Charming his nightmares like it was nothing, loving them despite what they were.

God damn it.

“If she stays here,” He said to the growling demon, tone warped and demonic as his wings folded against his body, “She will die. With her this weak, you won’t be able to sustain yourself for long.”

Shadow’s ears pressed tighter to their skull, eyes glaring daggers at him as another growl burst forth. That spoke their message loud and clear.

Vergil clicked his tongue, half turning away from the cat as he replied coldly, “If you wish for her to die, then so be it.” He didn’t have the patience for this, but...his feet felt rooted to the spot.

I can’t just leave her there.

But why?

Shadow let out a low, distressed sound, gently lapping at one of your cheeks in an attempt to wake you up. For a moment, Vergil felt a twinge of concern that you may be dead. But your chest was rising and falling, eyelashes twitching against your cheeks as you slept away all the pain. Your breaths were short and pained, he saw you wince occasionally and curl up on yourself more. His fingers twitched at his side, Vergil clenching his jaw when he realized he had to physically push down the urge to stroke one of your cheeks. What was happening to him? And why?

But Shadow seemed to sense his confusion, staring at him with red eyes far too knowing as he struggled with himself. Even in this form, they were able to read his expression, bowing their head to him for a moment before raising it again. There was a warning in that sharp gaze, one that clearly said if anything would happen to you Shadow would tear him to pieces. Or at least...they would try. The mighty cat then turned into swirling dust, absorbing back into your tattoos and making them darker now on the one side. Home, it would seem.

Vergil didn’t want to waste any more time, walking slowly closer to you and crouching down next to your body. Inside he was a storm of emotions and confusion, unable to understand his own thoughts and instincts anymore. What had become of him when he split himself in two? His human half was far more busy than he had ever thought capable...far stronger now. These emotions definitely felt human in nature. There was no mistaking that.

He pushed back his reservations, sliding his clawed hands under you and lifting you up into his arms. You were so light, body curling up against his hard chest and still out like a light. Something about this felt...Vergil couldn’t place his finger on the term. He resisted the urge to hold you closer, to press his face to your hair and inhale. He could smell it, the faintest hint of apples from you. Foolish, he told himself harshly, turning and launching himself off the edge again with those mighty wings. The movement jostled you, but there was no sign of waking. Only a soft whimper of pain, one that started that dull ache in his chest again as he carried himself swiftly upward again.

He couldn’t just take you down below and deposit you on the street. That was equally, if not more dangerous. Vergil could not see the van either, his best other option was to leave you with the only person he knew would take care of you. The thought triggered another memory, one of you walking and talking with Nero, smiling warmily as he talked about his fiance at home. The boy was your friend, wasn’t he? Vergil swallowed his pride and annoyance, knowing full well the best course of action would to hand you off to Nero before heading back down. Dante could wait and wonder where he was for a few more moments.

Vergil wasn’t shocked when he saw Nero still standing where he left him, staring at the book and flipping through the pages. He looked annoyed, an expression that morphed to shock when Vergil crested over the ledge and into sight. Nero was by far the easiest person to read that Vergil had ever known. His face went through several emotions as he registered that his father had returned moments later. First being shock, then aggravation, then more shock when he saw you, landing on relief and worry.

He will take care of you. Of that, there was no doubt.

“Y/N!” Nero exclaimed, rushing forward when Vergil landed and tucking the book into his jacket. The demonic male held out his arms automatically for the boy to take you, but it felt...stiff. Like his body didn’t want to let you go. He tried to keep his expression in this form neutral, but his eyes lingered on your sleeping face as it moved away, now resting against Nero as the boy continued on, “Where the fuck did you find her?! I thought Dante said she was making her way down…!”

Vergil snorted, turning away with a growled, “She made it halfway down. The familiars couldn’t carry her the full way.”

“The familiars?” Nero blinked, taking in all of your new tattoos with even more shock as he settled your limp body more steadily, “What the...hey!” He protested when Vergil started walking back to the edge, the sound of his footsteps sounding as he followed behind, “Wait a goddamn second!”

Vergil didn’t slow, eager to get away and back on task. No more distractions. But Nero had other plans, one of his ghost-arms whipping out to grab Vergil by the shoulder, forcing him to halt in place. The older male turned, face conveying a barely-veiled threat as his firey gaze met Nero’s. The boy wasn’t fazed by his anger in the slightest bit, which was either courageous or absolutely foolish on his part. He was certainly a lot like Dante. Vergil’s other hand twitched, resisting the urge to summon the Yamato and whack at his wrist with the sheath--remind him of who took his old arm to begin with.

Nero’s eyes were sharp, staring him down with intensity as he held you firmly in his arms. Vergil tried to focus on his face instead of yours. He was speaking, after all.

“You remember her, don’t you?” It was just too bad that what Nero was saying turned out to be exactly the conversation he didn’t want to have. Vergil felt his hand twitch again, resisting the urge to just fight again so he could move the topic onto something else, or at least distract Nero long enough to make his way back to the portal.

“...Get her back to the van,” He replied coldly, turning his eyes forward again as he continued, “I have things to do, and no time to waste on this.”

Nero scoffed, hand still firmly clamped on his arm as he replied, “Yeah? Yet you took the time to bring her up to me, could have left her behind. I could have seen her on my way down, but you didn’t want to take the chance did y--”

Vergil let out a low growl, summoning the Yamato and whipping its sheath around at Nero. It startled the boy enough to let go, using that arm to block the blow as he leapt back with you in his arms. The movement barely jostled you, your head resting calmly against his shoulder and eyes still closed. Vergil spared that one last glance, loathing the feeling that the sight of you brought before he turned away, starting forward again with purposeful footsteps. This had wasted time he should have spent focusing on his task, and that alone spoke volumes to how messed up his head had to be. Before all of this, he would have sailed right by you on that ledge, without a single care. But…

Those times were gone.

Nero let out an annoyed growl as he walked, rasping under his breath, “You really are a bastard, you know that?” He straightened up, glaring holes into Vergil’s back as he made his way for the edge again, “She really cared about V, and you’re just gonna walk away from all of that?”

Vergil paused again, tips of his demonic feet touching the very edge of the precipice. Something about Nero’s words made him...irritated. Hearing that name, “V”, and hearing about how much you cared. It didn’t feel right, but it didn’t feel wrong either. All it served to do was kick up that nagging guilt again, the one that made that part of his chest ache incessantly. His teeth grouns slightly, the sensation strange in this form that was so far from human. It wasn’t like him, so different from how he was before that he didn’t know how to process who he was becoming. To focus on anything but the tasks at hand was so out of character, shocking to even he, the one who prided himself on his focus.

“There is nothing to walk away from,” He said coldly, not sparing a glance back as his hand clenched into a fist, “Her feelings for a man that doesn’t exist anymore have nothing to do with me.”

With that, he took a step off the edge, hearing Nero growl in annoyance as he did so. The rush of air past his body felt a lot less soothing now, the roar filling his ears as his wings unfurled to glide him back down. That ache refused to leave, no matter how much distance he put between himself and you. It felt like something was pushing forward on his consciousness, loud and furious about the blatant lie he had told Nero about you. It urged him to turn around, to make sure you got to your destination safe. Apologize. It made him want to punch the nearest object, which if he played his cards right would soon be Dante waiting down below.

Don’t leave her again, That voice in the back of his head whispered, Look how much damage I caused. Fix it. You have to fix this.

He couldn’t turn around. There was so much to do, so many things to fix and a tree to cut down. He continued downward, trying to ignore that sensation looming over him like a persistent rain cloud. Like hands trying to pull him back, following him down as the portal loomed ever closer. Crackling, glowing purple and glowing with demonic energy. Focus, he needed to keep his eyes on the task. He would join in his brother in hell, setting about destroying the roots of the Qliphoth and dealing the portal to hell. But after that…

After that, he would be forced to address these new, persistent thoughts.

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Tagged: @nightshadow4713 @silentwhispofhope @slightlylunatic @just-call-me-no-name @efiicitia @raven-huntress

#devil may cry v #devil may cry #devil may cry 5 #dmc5 #dmc v #V dmc #V x Reader #v x self insert #spirit writes fanfic #fanfic #chapter 27 #Ebony and Ivory #ebony and ivory chapter 27 #vergil #nero #dmc nero

[writingstoriesinpajamas]

Writing Prompt #85

Another really long one because I forgot to make one for today and I only have this to post so, yeah-

B pulled at the handcuffs behind their back one more time, but the only result was the same rattling noise as it hit the broken radiator with every pull. How long had they been here? How long had it been since they made their mistake? Why hadn’t A come in to kill them already? Then the door opened, and B felt the way they quickly turned to it show how lost they were, and they immediately regretted it. D stood in the doorway to the dim lit room, they had a bag over their shoulder and flames in their eyes. B just turned away. D closed the door and stepped in, then dropped the bag in front of B. They recognised it up close, it was their bag. They’d looked through it, they’d seen all B’d left in it. They bit down on their lower lip, determined not to react as carelessly as they first had. “Why?” D asked, poison dripping from their voice, “Why would you do this?” “Good question.” B’s eyes stayed on their bag. “Is it one you’ll answer?” “It’s not one I plan to.” B heard D suck in a breath in anger, and they didn’t need to look up to know that D was staring down at them like they were the devil. “Is there any merit in asking how A’s doing?” B continued. “Like you want to know,” D hissed back, “everyone’s talking about you, you know.” D stepped closer, “About what they think we should do to you.” “Does my opinion count?” “Do you think it does?” B stayed quiet, and silence hung in the air for what felt like an eternity. “A thinks we should let you live.” D’s dislike of A’s decision was clear. “They say we shouldn’t go down to your level.” “I bet you’d kill me in a heartbeat if A hadn’t said that.” B straitened their back to look at them, “but with C gone you’re way too focused on filling that ‘lover void’ for A than-” a kick to their face cut them off and made them fall over onto the half rotten carpet floor. D proceeded to grab them by their hair and pull them back up, D’s face centimetres from B’s. “A said to keep you alive, not to keep you comfortable.” D pushed B’s head back onto the wall, B regrettably flinched at the impact. “The saying is ‘an eye for an eye’,” D continued, and unsheathed their knife, “and we all agreed that the damage you caused was more than worthy of one.” B couldn’t focus on what happened next. They couldn’t stop their screams, they couldn’t even hear it. The couldn’t feel anything except the pain. When D finally backed away and the pain slowly lessened, B didn’t want to open their eyes, they were too scared. But when they heard the door open they felt they had too. So they opened one and tried to open the other, but they couldn’t. It took them a while to realize that their eye was gone, that they could open their eyelids, but there was nothing there. D’s voice brought them back to reality, a cold “Patch them up.” before their footsteps faded out behind the door. A hand under their chin pulled their head up, it wasn’t rough, but it wasn’t gentle either. B’s right eye wouldn’t focus on anything, everything they heard seemed a mile away, the only thing that was close was the burning pain where their left eyes had been. The person D had left in let out a small gasp when they saw the damage, then got to work. Not a word was said, and soon enough B was left alone in the room to bask in their regrets.

#Space's Writing #This is another I'm really happy with #whump #betrayal #heroxvillain #Hero/Villain #hero x villain #writing prompt #writingprompt #prompt

[12freddofrogs]

Gotham Crusaders - A Batfamily TV Show

A few months ago I started wondering how I would adapt the Batman/Batfam comics to TV. I started relatively simple, but then I started getting a little more detailed with a specific episode plot here, a little more to this scene there, some dialogue to be specified… and now the fic is nearly 80k on Ao3, and I still have another season/chapter to go.

This is an extract from Chapter/Season Five, Damian’s Robin introduction, also known as Dick’s run as Batman. 

Other episodes in S5 include Cass giving the Batgirl mantle to Steph, Jason getting caught in a hostage situation at Gotham Library, Dick introducing Damian to ice-cream, Tim making a reluctant alliance with the League of Assassins, the Red Hood trying and failing to convince himself he doesn’t care, and the general aftermath of the Bats without Bruce.

Start Gotham Crusaders from Season One Here

Season Five Here

Season Five, Episode Sixteen - Halloween Night

There haven’t been any holiday episodes so far. Let’s celebrate Halloween with the Batfamily.

Cass, Steph, and Babs wander the Gotham University Halloween fete at dusk.

For the moment, they’re just having fun. Steph goes apple-bobbing. Babs aces a ring-toss. Cass is unimpressed with cotton-candy.

A commotion catches their attention.

The girls hurry to where one of the students had tried to tear apart a light display. By the time they arrive, two security guards have already pulled the skinny twenty-year-old off.

He’s babbling about how lights will attract Batman, even as the security guards breathalyse him.

In his theory, the Batsignal is a way for the police to announce when they have a new victim for him, so it’s very unwise for them to have their own vampire-beacon on Halloween night.

“Batman and his colony are feeding on criminals to lure us into a false sense of security before he unleashes his dark powers—”

Steph laughs so hard she falls over. The student pauses long enough to glare at her, which doesn’t help.

Babs bites her hand to stop giggling. Cass is trying to pull Steph to her feet.

Finally, the student is escorted back to his dorm, mumbling that Gotham is going to be enslaved because they believe a blood-sucking monster wants to help.

Robin’s been a child for over ten years now, how is that not suspicious?

If anything would get Steph off the ground, it was not that.

Once he’s gone, Cass asks what a vampire is.

Meanwhile, Dick and Damian are arguing in the Manor living room.

“I’m not asking you to go trick-or-treating.” Dick pinches the bridge of his nose. “Or dress up, or put on a spooky voice, or do anything beneath the outrageous dignity of a ten-year-old. All I’m asking is you open the door, smile, and give out candy.”

“I don’t understand why we reward these pitiful efforts.” Damian looks out the window. Alfred is visible handing chocolate to a girl dressed as a dragon. “I have seen three facsimiles of armour tonight, none of which would stand up to the shoddiest of blades, and there’s no challenge in approaching the door. Surely we should have at least set up a basic trap to be worth overcoming?”

“Okay, the point of fun is a lesson for later.” Dick picks up a novelty candy bucket and shoves it into Damian’s hands. “Right now is social skills.” He drags his youngest brother to the hallway. Through the window, there’s another group of trick-or-treaters. “Talk to these kids, and then we’ll go on patrol.”

“Tch! Fine!” Damian storms to the door as Alfred steps out of the way. He sends an icy glare over his shoulder before turning the knob.

“Trick or treat!” Three eight-year-olds beam at him: a princess, an astronaut, and a dinosaur.

It’s impressive Damian’s forced grin doesn’t scare them. There’s nothing genuine about the teeth on show. “I… like… your costumes.”

“Thank you!” The astronaut holds out her sack.

“You must be a dead astronaut.” Damian gives her a chocolate. “Appropriately ‘spooky’.”

“I’m not a scary astronaut”

“No, you’re a scared astronaut.” Damian hands confectionary to her companions. “Even accepting the useless fabric as part of the holiday, your ‘suit’ stops at your wrists and ankles, exposing much of your skin to the void. Your ‘helmet’ is improperly attached to your shirt, and there is no indication your character has an air supply. By now you would have suffocated as your blood vessels rupture and the fluid in your eye sockets boil.”

The children gape at him.

“Happy Halloween.” He shuts the door. “Well?”

Dick and Alfred exchange a look. “He did smile.”

“That he did.”

Night falls and the Bats go on patrol.

Batgirl detours back to campus, tucking her comm unit into her belt.

The conspiracist-student is getting ready for bed. When he steps into his bedroom, he screams to find Batgirl on his desk.

“For someone so afraid of Bats, you’d think you lock your window.”

He stumbles back, pressing himself against the wall. “You… you can’t come in here without an invitation. You shouldn’t be—”

“Vampires can’t enter houses without permission. This isn’t a house.” Batgirl waves at the dorm. “It’s not your home, not a permanent space, it’s basically public property. I can come and go.”

Maybe it’s a little cruel, but it’s supposed to be a harmless prank.

Batgirl’s rattles off vampire lore, occasionally slips into a bad Transylvanian accent she can’t hold, makes spooky gestures with her hands.

She does promise that the Bats of Gotham don’t kill — maybe they’ll take a sip from a mugger, but nothing they can’t spare.

“Calm down, I’m not going to bite you. We’re harmless, really, at least to law-abiding citizens like—”

The student had been pushing himself along the wall to his closet, where he rips out a clove of garlic.

Batgirl is delighted, and plays the part. Hissing, retreating, hands out defensively. It’s awful acting, but she’s only there for a joke. It certainly convinces him.

While Batgirl is dramatically cowering from a spice, the student grabs a heavy metal water bottle from the desk and hits her over the head.

(Continues under the cut)

Batgirl wakes up tied to a chair in a lecture theatre.

A garlic garland is draped around her neck.

Steph is more concerned with the ropes. Her arms are pinned to the arm rests, done so vigorously she can barely wriggle her fingers. Her legs are similarly tied.

It’s still night. The lecture theatre is dark, with the only light being a glimpse of the festival from the windows and the candles the student is lighting.

“Um, hi?”

The student leaps to his feet, brandishing a cross at her. “Stay back!”

“Sure. Just untie me first.” Batgirl tugs at her ropes. “Okay, we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. I was kinda joking. I’m not a vampire.”

Shockingly, he is unconvinced. “I will not allow your colony to feast on the innocent.”

Batgirl switches her argument from ‘not-a-vampire’ to ‘not-an-evil-vampire’. It doesn’t work either.

Finally she groans, letting her head hang forwards. “How long am I going to be here?”

“Until morning, when you are destroyed by the rays of the sun.” With that dramatic pronouncement he picks up his book and leaves.

Batgirl sighs. “Nobody will ever let me hear the end of this.”

Meanwhile, the episode needs a bigger threat than a uni student with a stroke of luck.

Clayface is a more traditional Halloween villain.

Batman and Robin get waved down from a building by a nearly hysterical man, babbling about a monster that just mugged him.

At first Batman just tries to calm him down, but the revelation that the mud coating his shirt is attempting to crawl away makes them realise Clayface is active.

They give him money to take a cab home and the Dynamic Duo split up to search.

Contacting the others reveals that Oracle’s cameras caught glimpses of Clayface an hour ago, that Black Bat is patrolling on the North End but will keep an eye out, and Batgirl isn’t picking up,

While Batman continues the A-plot with an actual rogue, Robin is sent to find Batgirl.

He grumbles as he leaves, but doesn’t protest.

Steph hadn’t wanted to advertise her plans to prank a civilian, and had switched her tracker/comms off as she arrived on campus. That was still enough of a record for Oracle to note she went back to the university.

Oracle takes a guess and researches the vampire conspiracist. Henry Davids has posted a lot online.

The window to his dorm is open. Robin grapples up, pauses when he finds identical grapple marks already in the wood.

Inside the room are signs of a struggle. A single blonde hair is caught on the curtain.

“Oracle. Batgirl was here and appears to have been outmatched by someone with less combat training than a goldfish. What can you tell me about this building’s activities?”

“Not much, kiddo. Most of the dorm building cameras have been broken for months, needing new funding that hasn’t gone through.”

Black Bat is in the middle of stopping a convenience store robbery, but she takes the time to touch her comms. “Do you want back-up?” she asks, spinning neatly to slam her knee into someone’s throat. “Can be there twenty minutes.”

“No.” Robin climbs out the window. “I can handle this.”

He swings up and drops down to the ground.

Meanwhile, Henry has returned to the lecture theatre.

Batgirl is bored, but her cowl’s eyes widen when she sees him placing a pile of wooden stakes on the teacher’s desk. “Wait, I thought you were going to burn me in sunlight?”

“I said you would die at sunrise. I’m not dumb enough to think a vampire can be defeated by one.”

“How about garlic and sunlight? Throw in some holy water, too, that’ll do the trick — is that one silver?”

Robin is combing the campus.

Oracle tries to help, but Batgirl’s offline and there aren’t enough security cameras. Plus, she’s also concerned with finding Clayface.

“Are we sure Davids is still on the grounds?” Robin asks.

“No, but he hasn’t got a vehicle, the buses aren’t running, and there haven’t been any taxis. If Henry left campus, he was on foot. Even in Gotham, you can’t drag an unconscious girl through a crowd unnoticed.”

“You think she was unconscious?” Batman asks, crouching in an alleyway. More of Clayface’s mud is splattered over the ground, steadily making the way to a manhole cover.

“Hard to imagine what he could have threatened her with to make her go willingly, and Robin said there was a fight.”

“And there’s no digital trail.” Batman puts a sliver of mud into a tray as a compass and slides into the underground. “Guess you’re on physical detective work, Robin.”

“How? Drunken crowds roam every pathway. Even if he left footprints, every sign would be obliterated.”

“Those crowds happen to be your best bet,” Oracle says. “Just ask for information.”

“Nicely,” Black Bat adds, handcuffing the last of her robbers to a streetlight. “Don’t hurt anyone.”

“Or tip anyone off,” Batman says. He flicks his torch against the walls, which bounces back and lights up his grin. “You need to go undercover.”

“How would I do that?”

Cut to Damian knocking on a door.

“Trick or treat,” Robin mumbles reluctantly, holding out a bag from the fete.

He’s given a slew of compliments about how adorable he is, how cute his Robin costume is (“Did you make that yourself?“) and a small shower of candy.

“Thank you,” he says, forcing a smile. “Have you seen my… older sister? We’re in matching costumes. She’s Batgirl.”

He’s told they must look adorable, but nobody’s seen her.

At another party someone waves over someone dressed in a well-intentioned-but-badly-designed Batgirl costume Robin has to visibly bite back comments about.

His bag fills quickly. Once in a while he double-checks no-one’s watching before sneaking a chocolate.

Finally, he gets some useful information. No-one’s seen his ‘sister’, but when he adds that her boyfriend is Henry Davids, someone recognises him. “Yeah, I saw him an hour ago heading into the Arts Building with a lot of candles.”

“Thank you.”

“Wait, kid.”

“Yes?” He pauses midstep.

“Look, see, um… sometimes when a boyfriend and girlfriend get candles and go into a place alone—”

Robin leaves without another word.

He palms another piece of candy before dumping his bag.

Robin lands on the Arts Building.

He pauses at the stairs, finding paper cut-outs of crosses and garlic cloves dotted around.

“Tch.” He taps his comm as he walks. “Robin to Batman. I’m pretty sure I found him. Give me ten minutes and this will be handled.”

“Alright.” Batman is distracted, climbing out of another storm drain and frowning at the giant Halloween party in the building in front of him. “Keep me updated.”

Batman watches the party.

He notices the same man who’d begged him for help earlier that night — now cheerily joking with friends, the same clothes mysteriously clean — and contacts Black Bat.

While she arrives, he heads over to the party, only to find not only is there a strict guestlist that requires an invitation and ID, but also that the bouncers don’t recognise he’s really Batman.

Batman doesn’t insist on his identity, instead asking why the security is tight enough he can see patrols walking the upper balconies.

The guards don’t answer.

Oracle explains that company parties mean it’s very difficult to keep track of everyone’s movements, and this particular company has a lot of valuable prizes stored in the same building.

She’s cut-off when the suspiciously-not-muddy man notices Batman, curses, and transforms into Clayface.

Back in the theatre, Batgirl is sulking.

Henry has set up the room with enough candles to be a fire hazard, each connected with string.

He’s sitting in the row behind her. Several wooden stakes are resting in easy reach.

Batgirl sits up a little straighter when a small red-green-black figure appears in the doorway. “Oh. It’s you. Great.”

“What is this?” Robin steps inside, gesturing at the room.

“This is… umm…”

She’s spared the explanation as Henry lunges forward over her shoulder. He presses a wooden stake against her chest plate, the other hand gripping a mallet.

Robin has a batarang out immediately. “Let her go.”

“I can’t.” Henry’s pale, his eyes frantic. “I have to — I have to protect Gotham. This is my only chance.”

“Protect Gotham from what?”

“You.” Henry’s breaths are quick and shallow. “I know what you are, I know what you’re going to do to the city. I’m the only one willing to stop you.”

“He thinks we’re the terrifying vampire heroes of Gotham,” Batgirl says. Her voice is unconcerned, but she can’t stop glancing at the stake.

“You’re not heroes.”

Robin rubs his forehead, lowering his batarang. “Look, we’re not va—” He stops mid-word. Slowly, he pulls his hand down, smiles with too many teeth. “We only feed on those who deserve it. Criminals, muggers, the occasional student too nosy for their own good.”

Henry jolts.

“I’ve been very good lately.” Robin takes a step forwards. “But it’s Halloween, and no-one can deny I look like a child. I think I deserve a treat.”

Batgirl tries not to laugh.

The panic serves to motivate Henry and he swings the mallet with all his might, digging the stake forwards.

Reinforced armour meets pointy stick. The wood splinters.

There’s a long moment where he’s frozen, unable to comprehend what happened, before Batgirl headbutts him. He falls back.

Robin bites down his smile, stepping into the maze of tripwires.

“No, no, no!” Henry stumbles to his feet, one hand clutching a bloody nose. He digs into his pocket and pulls out his emergency garlic clove, throwing it at Robin.

There is a long moment where Robin considers the spice that landed by his feet, before he grins.

He takes a dramatic leap back, flipping midair, and bares his teeth in a hiss. “That was unwise. Now you’re out of ammunition.”

“Not yet!” Henry rips the garlic necklace off Batgirl’s neck, and starts flinging the individual cloves.

His aim’s pretty good. It’s useless, but accurate.

Robin plays the game. He ducks and dodges and somersaults to avoid the garlic, trying to hide his smile. Once he pauses long enough to wave his fingers like claws.

Batgirl is trying very hard not to laugh. When Robin abruptly remembers her presence, she grins at him.

Meanwhile, Batman’s dealing with Clayface.

The security guards fire, but the bullets do nothing except splatter people with mud. He reaches up to swipe at the balcony, and the guards are no longer interested in shooting.

Batman darts past the bouncers, causing a reaction as people recognise it’s not another costume.

Clayface doesn’t stand and fight, and instead moves to the upper levels by stretching an arm as a grappling hook. Batman follows him, as the party flees.

Upstairs, amongst enough art to be a gallery, they fight.

Black Bat arrives through a window mid-battle.

It takes a while, ducking between pieces of fancy artwork (Black Bat takes the time to move one statue out of the way) but eventually Clayface ends up caught in containment fluid.

Henry is still throwing garlic.

He attempts a particularly ambitious shot and trips over the string criss-crossing his theatre.

Around the room, his candles are knocked over.

Flames start to spread.

Robin flings a batarang. It stabs Batgirl’s chair, narrowly avoiding her arm.

“Hey!” She scowls, even as she’s rubbing her tied wrists against it.

Robin leaps over the chairs.

Henry is tangled in string and mildly dazed. Robin slices the thread and drags the student to his feet.

Batgirl’s free by the time they’re standing.

The three of them flee the burning building, Robin and Batgirl dragging Henry by the elbows.

Batgirl pauses at the door, turns, and tosses a pellet into the midst of the fire. Foam explodes out, suffocating the worst of the flames.

Combined with the sprinklers finally turning on, the damage is halted.

The moment they’re out, Henry slides to the ground.

The Bats let him.

“You okay?” Batgirl asks.

“I — I think so.” He takes a deep breath, still on his knees. “You saved me.”

“We did.”

“Are you going to bite me now?”

“No,” Robin says.

“I might slap you, though,” Batgirl mutters.

“How exactly did you get into that situation?” Robin asks her. She ignores him.

“So — so you were telling the truth? You’re heroic?”

Batgirl and Robin share a look. Robin rolls his eyes and turns away, and Batgirl shrugs. “Yep.”

“I… I was wrong?”

“Also yep.”

“About everything? What about the Riddler being an escaped thrall? And the Bat-signal announcing new victims? And — Batman came back after being disintegrated, I had to be right about the time-travel.”

Robin jerks out of his folded arms. Batgirl stiffens. They stare at him.

“Or… not. I guess I was” He stumbles to his feet.

The sound of sirens reach them. The fire’s out, but smoke drifts from the windows.

“I’m sorry. About everything. I shouldn’t have — I should have put more together, realised vampire doesn’t equal monster.” There’s no response, but Henry’s looking at the fire engines anyway. “I’ll talk to the firemen. Thank you for not biting me—”

When he turns around, he’s alone.

Later, the Bats have met up on top of a building.

“It doesn’t mean anything.” Robin says, balancing on the roof railing. “He tried to put a stake in Batgirl’s heart. I wouldn’t consider him a reliable source.”

“No,” Black Bat agrees, sitting with her back against the railing. “But Tim is.”

“Names,” Batman says without thinking.

“I figured T was in denial.” Batgirl’s pacing. “I got it, I might have done the same. He didn’t want to lose three parents in ten months. But our little conspiracist had the same theory.”

“We already knew T must have had something to base it on.” Batman stares out at the city. “Some detail he’d decided was a clue. Even good detectives come to wrong conclusions and he’d never insist if he hadn’t found something he called evidence. Someone else just found the same clues.”

“Nothing Davids said can be considered relevant,” Robin insists.

Batgirl stops pacing and sighs. “No. Probably not.”

There’s a moment as they let it sink in.

Oracle informs them Henry had admitted the truth and been arrested. He’ll only be held overnight, but is likely to be expelled. He’ll probably head back home, leaving Gotham.

“Good.” Batgirl nods. “I don’t think he deserves Arkham but I really don’t want to deal with him again.”

“I still have questions about how you were captured by that incompetent,” Robin says.

“Don’t act so dignified, I saw you playing along and hissing like a good little vampire.”

Robin’s cheeks colour. “I was not — I did not play — and even if I — that does not answer how you were caught!”

Batman places a hand on Robin’s shoulder, trying not to grin. “It’s not Halloween without a horror movie. Shall we finish patrol and meet up?”

“Make it the Cave,” Oracle advises. “Better atmosphere if we turn off the lights. I’ll bring popcorn.”

“I vote cheesy horror,” Batgirl says, swinging off the roof.

“With vampires!” Black Bat calls, following her.

Batman glances at Robin. “Did you have fun?”

“I—”

“Good.”

They pull out their grappling hooks and swing away.

Find the rest of the fic on AO3.

More tumblr extracts:

S1E13 - Birdcage In which Dick Grayson is held for ransom. Dick is bored, Bruce is frantic, and Robin ends up on the phone with the Commissioner and has to fequently ‘pass’ the phone to Dick.

S2E9 - Double In which the second Robin trades himself to Two-Face as potential leverage over Batman in return for the civilian hostages to be freed. Jason proceeds to comment frequently on all the ways Two-Face’s plan is failing.

S3E20 - Songbird In which everyone in Gotham under the age of eighteen is abruptly bursting into song. Tim is distressed, Steph attempts to pretend she’s not creeped out, Dick finds it hilarious, and Cass is a little jealous that she’s too old to be effected. 

S4E01 - Worst Nightmare In which Scarecrow manages to drug Robin and Spoiler. Batman is a protective father, Steph has a discussion with her childhood fears, Tim is walking a fine line between terror and consciousness - and at home, Cass refuses to acknowledge flour/sugar/baking soda are different ingredients for cookies. 

#damian wayne #stephanie brown #dick grayson #batman #robin #dickbats #batgirl #batfam #cassandra cain #black bat #barbara gordon #oracle #tim drake #red robin #because he's mentioned too #batfic #fanfic #12freddofrogs writes #gotham crusaders #as ever the episode numbers are more or less random #jason todd #he is not in this episode but his fans will probably enjoy the full fic regardless #dc #this is probably the tumblr extract that most connects with the rest of the season #but it kind of loses the effect of the end if i take out the references to tim #for the record in this verse bruce's vanishing act was public and in the middle of gotham #dick took up the cowl so nobody realises batman's really gone #but that's why henry was able to start wondering about it #batman was on earth when it happened #also i'm not thrilled with the clayface subplot

[poubelle-squelette]

coffeecoloredbrunette replied to your post “sonichearts replied to your post: Ok I just read...”

I WANT F!SANS HAPPY!! LET HIM FEEL THE LOVE HE DESERVES!!

alright alright alright. thanks @kamari3 because i’m about to totally steal some ideas for this continuation of a continuation (click to find part 1 (fluff) and part 2 (angst)) 

this got extremely long so i had to put most of it under a read more. enjoy a fluffy ending! <3

--

It hurt so badly when she left. Sans didn’t want to even look at his soul because he knew there would be another big crack right where her fingers held it. He hated himself for driving her away. He knew his soul was broken and ugly. He shouldn’t have shown it. If he just kept it to himself like he always planned to do, she’d still be here. She’d still be with him.

He felt so weak, but it wasn’t his fault. She left him at his most vulnerable. She knew. She knew.

Sans hadn’t seen her since, but he wasn’t sure if that’s because she was good at avoiding him or if because she’d left town entirely. 

It took almost two years before he finally stopped tapping things three times out of habit. The ghosts of i love you finally stopped and Sans finally started feeling like how he used to be. How he was before her.

And that’s right around the time you quite literally fell into his life by falling flat on your face at the park.

“hey check it out kiddo, a fuckin’ face plant in its natural habitat,” he said before laughing at you.

“Sans, that’s really mean,” Frisk said. They went over to help you up. 

“see, bitch is fine save for a bloody nose,” Sans said with a shrug.

“Sans!”

“Nah, he’s right,” you said, covering your face. “I’m okay. Should’ve watched where I was going.”

Frisk pulled out a tissue and started dabbing your face. “Sorry about him, he’s kind of an asshole.”

“can’t be whatcha don’t have,” Sans quipped.

You stared at him for a moment. And laughed.

--

Sans really liked your company. He hadn’t intended to see you again after the day at the park, but you just so happened to bump into him from time to time - sometimes at the park, a few times at the shops, and once he caught you standing outside Grillby’s contemplating whether or not you should go in.

“jesus, just get your ass inside. no one’s gonna eat ya,” he said. “i mean, unless you’re into that, i guess.”

He sat with you that night. Conversation was...interesting. She tended to bullhead her way through a conversation, pushing his buttons and matching his quips with her own. She was quick and witty like he was. You waited and listened. You let Sans lead. You tended to wait for an opening to make a good joke, rather than inundate him with wit. It was different. He liked it.

That was the night you exchanged numbers, and you asked to hang with him again.

So he did, though he kept it pretty casual. Safe topics. Public places. You asked about his other friends and, well, fuck it why not, he thought it’d be fine. They were all incredibly apprehensive of him bringing another human around. They didn’t trust you and you could tell.

“I know you don’t trust me,” you said before you left. “That’s okay. I know humans can be awful, so I understand.”

If Sans was in your shoes, he would’ve said ‘fuck all you bastards and see you in hell’ before leaving. You texted him the next morning thanking him for introducing you.

Slowly, everyone started warming up to you. You didn’t even do anything special. She was determined to have everyone like her and did public displays of grandeur to win them over. It worked, of course, because she was charming and charismatic and always knew what to say. You blundered your way through awkward conversations, constantly putting your foot in your mouth and were pretty openly ridiculed for a while.

But you always came back.

“YOUR FORBEARANCE AND RESOLVE ARE QUITE FORMIDABLE,” Papyrus said one day. “THOSE ARE ADMIRABLE QUALITIES, ESPECIALLY IN BATTLE.”

“Thank you,” you said earnestly. “That means a lot, coming from you.”

And slowly, inch by inch, you’d found a place in Sans’s heart. But when he looked at you, his old life was reflected back at him -- his mistakes. The last time he loved somebody he nearly fell apart.

You’d...it’d just have to be a fantasy.

--

“this movie fucking sucks,” Sans complained. “it’s fucking sad.”

“Sometimes things in life are sad,” you said. “And those moments are what make the happy ones worthwhile.”

Sans snorted. “you some kinda wise ass sage now?”

You gently touched his arm. “Just someone with a little experience in sadness and loss...that’s all.”

“yeah well. ‘s like you said. people fucking suck. they always leave.”

“He...fell down,” you said. “Wrong place, wrong time...people really do fucking suck.”

oh. 

Well...Sans felt like an ass.

Pat Pat Pa-

Sans snatched your wrist, ignoring your cry. “don’t ever fucking do that,” he snarled, grip tightening. “don’t ever be like her; that bitch destroyed my fucking life.”

All too suddenly, Sans realized how easily he could snap your wrist and he immediately released your hand. fuck, you really are a fuck up. you’re good for nothing except being an asshole to everyone around you. she’s going to pack her shit up and leave just like her. 

“Sans, you’re crying-”

He could barely hear you, and he wasn’t able to stop himself from panicking as huge tears flowed down his cheeks. You were going to leave, you were going to kick him down, he made a mistake again, you were going to leave him and everything. Sans didn’t even care that he looked like a big, weak baby because you weren’t even going to be around him anymore. He couldn’t breathe. Everything was getting foggy. He wanted to run but couldn’t see straight.

“Sans, just take it! You’ll feel better, I promise.”

His vision focused. You were pressing his hand against the center of his chest. God. You couldn’t mean...but he couldn’t possibly...he’d never done that with anyone...

Sans was too selfish to care.

Your tiny soul was in his hands. Sans could just barely feel you moving around to make yourself more comfortable. When he closed his eyes he felt a calm, the sunshine poking out from the clouds after a rainy day.

Tender love and care, like a big hug. He felt safe. A salve was being spread over his wounds. He pressed the soul even more, he felt weightless.

He could see your smile, soft and genuine. 

Y o u  w i l l  b e  o k a y.

Clarity returned, Sans was sitting in your lap. He was glad he didn’t have to look you in the eye because he didn’t think he could after that display of absolute fuckery. He wanted to fucking disappear into nothingness. You were holding him like a bitch and slowly inching your hand to his chest. “what the fuck are you doing?” he asked.

“Let me touch yours too,” you said softly. “You’re still rattled, it’ll help if I could-”

“can’t, sweetheart,” Sans spat. “it’s too broken.”

“You’re not broken.”

...fuck. “i like you too much to show ya. you’ll leave.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but just know that I won’t leave. I love you too much to abandon you.”

Sans grit his teeth. Goddammit. You weren’t getting it at all. May as well get it over with before he got too invested. At least this time you weren’t living with him. There’d be no awkward meetings after today. That could be his bitter blessing. 

He pulled his soul. Big, dark black bruises were left behind where she held onto it. Cracks etched in a little deeper since the last time he saw it. He trembled, suddenly unwilling to hand it over. “see, i’m fucking broken.”

“You’re hurt.”

You didn’t reach for it. You waited. Sans thrust it towards your hands. “don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

You cradled the soul in your palms.

It was dark like the void. Nothing and nobody and a constant fear that you were being watched by something. Sans felt like he was being crushed, suffocating in the air, burning from the inside out. He couldn’t call out, couldn’t even scream. There was nothingness.

The burning turned icy. He was drowning in the nothingness and couldn’t move because his limbs felt like lead, dragging him towards the blackness, the darkness, the vengefulness, the spite, the hatred, the thing that he used to be. The further he fell, the more angry he got, eyes flooding with hot tears because he was stuck here. Alone. In the dark.

And then he stopped falling. 

There, in the dark emptiness was a small glimmer of light. For a moment, Sans could shed that heaviness weighing him down. It was a tender and sympathetic feeling. It was small, but if he focused on it, he could ignore the invisible shackles tying him to his spot. 

He gasped, awakening again, afraid to turn around.

“Sans...” you mumbled.

Slowly, he turned his head. You were holding his soul very delicately right on top of your chest above the spot where he’d plucked yours from. It was like you were trying to resonate them. You were trembling and your face was streaked with tear stains. You opened your eyes, more tears fell down your face. “It hurts,” you sobbed.

fuck. fuck. i knew this was going to happen.

You gently kissed his soul.

“I’m so sorry,” you said. “It hurts so bad and I’m so sorry I wish I could do more than just this.” You kissed it again.

“stop, you’re hurting yourself.”

“I can’t,” you whispered. “You hurt even more.”

“...i told ya. i’m too broken to be loved.”

“I love you, bonehead!”

“you can’t after seein shit like that and knowin...knowin what i’d done and who i really was.”

Sans snatched his soul from your hands.

...The bruises were covered in aqua magic, slowly disappearing. You wiped your eyes as Sans stared at his soul. When the magic twinkled away, the bruises had started healing.

“aren’t you scared of me?”

“No.”

“don’tcha wanna leave after that?”

“Never.”

“fuck!” Sans exclaimed, “you should! look at it!”

You paused. “It’s just healing,” you said, pushing it back towards his chest, “give it time.”

“...did ya mean it...when...when ya said...” Sans made a motion with his hands.

“Yes, I love you very much. But um, don’t feel bad if you don’t-”

Sans couldn’t help himself. He cut you off with a deep kiss, hands cupping your face and holding you close to him. Fuck holding back now of all times. When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead against yours. He didn’t need to tap it anymore, not to you. 

“i love you too.”

#the conclusion #uf!sans x reader #undertale fanfic #undertale imagine #uf!sans #bonus content

[coreshorts]

Protector

“E-eh? What? I-I, uh...!” stammered the portly, blond raen, midway through getting clothed that she might don her uniform armour. Having just joined the Crystarium guard not a month or two ago, not a year after their fated arrival in Lakeland in a world wholly unfamiliar to them, Asashio no Haruhi, or “Holly Morningtide”, as she’d begun calling herself in an effort not to have undue attention drawn, had been reporting for regular training exercises.

Of course, there was but a single delay of late - or, more accurately a pair of them - in that, following a peculiar series of events, Dahlia, having gone by the moniker “Odellia Morningtide” in the Crystarium, her wife for nearly two years by then, had borne not just one child, but a pair of twins: Suisei Soleil and Ryūsei Lunette - or, translated from their Hingan first and Ishgardian middle names, Comet Sun and Meteor Moon - or simply “Siana” and “Rhiannon” to those in the Crystarium.

“I said,” the dark-haired witchling sighed, looking somewhat impatient, her Ishgardian accent still somewhat strong, “I need to change Suisei. Ryuu is done, but I need you to keep an eye on her. Here, take the baby.” Once more, Dahlia offered forth the infant, the beginnings of platinum-blonde wisps starting to show in number, uneven scales and tiny nubs of horns having grown in just enough, and curious violet eyes wide open peering around as she burbled idly.

“I-, um, a-alright,” Hali said softly, looking between her tired wife and the two half-auri children, one of whom, with nearly a full head of short, dark hair and dark brown eyes, her own scales and horns starting to grow in just enough to be noticeable, as well, lying atop a pad set down for changing the two.

“It won’t kill you, stars,” Dahlia quipped with a smirk, Hali gingerly accepting Ryūsei into her arms, carefully cradling her, “Besides. I think you’ve died to worse, non? You’re not allowed to leave for good, now, if you could.”

This got a snort and a roll of the eyes out of the self-proclaimed “immortal,” the noise seeming to amuse Ryuu, who began laughing and grabbing at the raen’s long blond-and-silver locks, causing her to wince. Her retort forgotten, all she could do was let out a string of, “Ow, ow, ow...!” This, of course, only served to amuse the baby in her arms all the more, causing her to swing her arms, and, by extension, the hand yanking Hali’s hair.

“Have fun~,” Dahlia cooed tauntingly in response, clearly enjoying not being the only one to be taking care of the girls, for once.

The time spent humouring just one of the twins was an experience far too foreign for Hali, having never really dealt with a child in all her adult life. She generally harboured fears and anxieties that caused her to avoid them whenever she could, always worried that she’d do something wrong and, in so doing, face the wrath of the child’s caregiver(s). Now, however, she was one of those caregivers. Worse, Dahlia - the one woman in all of the world who she feared to cross more than any, mostly for fear of losing her love, though she wouldn’t often say so aloud to any other - was the other. Now, holding a child of her own, she found herself unable to really flee the situation, instead trying her best to embrace the situation, though as cautiously as she did the baby herself.

“W-what do I do...?” she asked the witchling as she sat on one of the nearby chairs in their apartment, the blinds drawn just enough so that the horrible, eternal light of the world outside did as little harm as possible. Ryūsei gave her hair another giggly yank. “Ow.”

“How should I know?” was Dahlia’s response. Preoccupied with changing a dirty diaper on the other girl, all she could do was roll her eyes, hair tied back into a tight ponytail to keep it from her face, especially as she gagged a little. It had been taking some getting used to, to be certain, but the reaction was not quite as bad after a few months of it. “You seem to be doing a fine enough job. If she’s happy, she’s happy.”

“Isn’t there - ow - something - ow! - I can do besides let her - ow, ow! - scalp me barehanded?”

“Ugh. Fine, fine. You picked up a couple toys from the neighbours, non? Find one of those.”

Rising with Ryūsei in her arms, Hali, “ow”-ing the whole way across the room, carefully shifted the little girl into one arm while grabbing for a small rubber rings with various nubs on it, rattling the bits and bobs inside to draw attention.

“How about this, sweetie?” she asked Ryuu with a pained smile, her tone as sweet as she could make it, sounding almost obnoxious were she not talking to a baby, “Try waving this around instead - nnnngh, ow ow - i-instead of momma’s hair, huh?”

This, thankfully, grabbed Ryuu’s attention, and violet eyes immediately diverted their gleeful gaze to stare at the little toy in her mother’s hand. No soon did she sees and hear it that she decided that it must be hers, and, releasing Hali’s hair, began making grabby hands, cooing incoherent baby-speak in what could only be a demand for the thing.

“You know,” Dahlia spoke up, sounding amused, “You’re better with them thank you think. I don’t know why you’re so nervous about it. After all, your parents were wonderful, quite unlike mine own. Ah, there. Much better.” With a small incantation, she lifted the diaper, only to have it immediately sucked through a dark tear in reality, opening by the woman’s magic, summarily sucking the dirty diaper into the void. 

Strange, they had both thought, how doing so never seemed to attract voidsent. At first, it had been done as an experiment once Dahlia was capable of safely casting again. When nothing occurred, time and time again, the witchling had seen fit to start tossing their garbage into it, as if to continue their insults to the very world of nothingness itself as a replacement for killing its invasive, ravenous denizens.

Handing the toy to Ryuu, who immediately began bludgeoning her poor mother in the horn with it, Hali took on a brief dazed look before angling her head to that it was impacting her cheek instead and muttered, “Really? She’s really trying to kill me, I-I’m, uh... pretty sure.” At that, the toy impacted her glasses, knocking them clear of her face and sending Dahlia into a fit of laughter, then Suisei, seeing her mother laughing, as well. After a moment, Hali could only laugh, as well, a softening smile on her face as Ryuu began, instead, chewing on what was until moments ago her weapon of choice.

“...all the things we’ve faced,” Hali muttered, laughing dying down to a soft sniff of amusement, Dahlia walking out from the small bed loft to regard her warmly, “And this is... probably going to be the, uh... s-strangest. And most difficult. Heh.”

“You’re telling me,” was the brunette’s only reply, though it was hardly resentful, the look on her face speaking of a happiness that served to melt just a little more of Hali’s apprehension, “But we’ll make it through this, as with all else. I have faith, mes etoiles. You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted and more. We will face this together. No matter where or when or how.”

With a deep breath, the erstwhile shinobi could only look down at the little girl in her arms and smile, saying, “...you’re right. It’d be, ah... awful of me to shirk any of it now. And... a-and I wouldn’t dream of it. Not now. Not ever.”

Looking at the beaming woman and the two tiny children that had been brought into the strange, apocalyptic world in which they’d found themselves, Hali could only feel that apprehension further melting away, little by little, and she cast her gaze out toward the light-bathed landscape outside. She couldn’t be the hunter, the killer, she was any longer. Her honour, she was taught, was to her duty, and to those who depended on her. Now, not only did Dahlia rely on her, despite her considerable power and magicks, but they had two daughters - their daughters, of their flesh and blood and aether - that had to, beyond all else, be assured of a life that could be safe, secure, and, above all... happy.

A new duty called for a new role, and, hers was, above all, as a protector.

(( This short was done as a response to @renataturner‘s post in the Ala Mhigan Born from Blood Discord server! Thanks for the prompt and good luck to everyone else writing their own responses to enter the contest!

Also, of course, featuring @umbralhearts‘s Dahlia! ♥))

#hali #hali naras #asashio no haruhi #haruhi asashio #dahlia blake #dahlia de bellechier #holly morningtide #odellia morningtide #suisei asashio #ryuusei asashio #the first #crystarium #norvrandt #babies #twins #children #offspring #UNHOLY SPAWN OF THE TRASHFIRE WIVES

[tyrannysaurusfloof]

Anonymous asked:

How about 13 “Hey, just look at me. Breathe” with Dark and Virgil.

13. Hey, just look at me. Breath.” Pairing: Dark/Virgil (does this have a ship name?) Words: 1027 Warnings: Panic attacks.

--

On his knees and unable to breath, Virgil gripped his hands tightly into his hair and curled in on himself. He needed to breath, needed to calm down, needed to stop, needed to gain control, but he couldn’t. His vision was blurry, from tears or lack of oxygen Virgil couldn’t tell, and he could feel the anxiety leaking from him back into the mindscape, and through it into Thomas. This wasn’t good, but he couldn’t stop. In a place where people all carried the same face, Virgil should have been used to that, he lived with the Sides after all, but the place was unfamiliar and they were too friendly, too touchy feely, too loud. It was all too much and Virgil couldn’t do it, he couldn’t face it anymore, he needed to get out and yet he couldn’t move.

Vaguely, he heard footsteps and a voice speak over him, but there was a strange roaring in his ears and he was sobbing, sobbing so loudly that he couldn’t hear anything other than the rattle of his chest.

“Hey, just look at me. Breath.”

A gravelly, echoing voice broke through the panic, and Virgil tried to grasp onto it as a hand rested on his shoulder. The hubbub of the tower fell away and through his blurred vision, Virgil could see himself kneeling on the floor of the void, and it was such a familiar feeling that it helped ease his panic almost immediately. Whoever was there shifted, and someone bigger than Virgil wrapped their arms around him, pulling Virgil flush against their chest so he could feel their breathing.

“Breath.” The voice repeated, and Virgil tried, he did.

Fingers gently ran through Virgil’s hair, taking his hands one by one and uncurling them from his hair to press them down onto his lap instead. Gentle whispers echoed in his ears, calm requests for Virgil to breath, to follow their breathing, that it was okay, they were alone and safe.

“Come on Virgil.”

Blinking his vision clear again as he sucked breaths in and forced them out, his chest hitching on every third or fourth breath and nearly sending him into a panic again, Virgil focused on the hands that were now curled on his lap. Grey skin, black painted nails, dressed in a grey suit…it was Dark.

Dark was the one holding him.

Soothing him.

Protecting him.

His presence suddenly became almost overwhelming, but in a calming way. They were wrapped in Dark’s void, and the rest of the Iplier egos had disappeared. Dark had Virgil almost sat in his lap, breathing deeply in and out to show Virgil how to breath.

“That’s good, Virgil.” Dark murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of Virgil’s head as his breath continued to calm down, “You’re almost there. It’s okay, you’re safe, I’m here.”

But what would Dark think of him now? Weaker, ridiculous, needed to be cast aside? Virgil had only just begun to calm down and now he was beginning to panic again, but Dark gripped his hands tightly.

“Now how many times must I tell you not to listen to those thoughts?” He asked, “Why would I be here to calm you down, if I believed you were weak, hmm? Now, keep breathing for me.”

With further soft words, Virgil was able to breath normally, entire body trembling and feeling exhausted. When Dark was sure he was calm enough to move, he slipped Virgil off his knee and turned him around so they were facing each other. His red eyes bore into Virgil’s but they were calm, and concerned, his shell completely held together to avoid panicking Virgil even more.

“You know if you ever want to come here, all you have to do is call.” Dark told him softly, “Never try to come here by yourself. The other Egos are hard to deal with when you don’t have anxiety, and they are unbearable when you do.”

“I’m sorry.” Virgil whispered, “I…I just needed to get away.”

“I know.” Dark smiled, holding out his hand and pulling Virgil to his feet. The void melted away and Virgil found them in Dark’s office, the door locked and the lights dimmed, just how he liked it. “And you’re always welcome to come here. You must be tired.”

Virgil nodded, “Mm.” He could sense Thomas was calm now as well, and he had been at home with his friends and nowhere the panic attack could have badly affected him, and that helped Virgil completely calm as well. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologising.” Dark chuckled, “Panic attacks take it out of you, I know that. Now, come.” He took Virgil’s hand and led him to a corner door, opening it to reveal a large, darkly lit bedroom. It was Dark’s bedroom, he had seen it more than enough, with black silk sheets, lots of pillows, and cuddly toys for Virgil to snuggle with.

“Will you…I mean…w-will you-.”

“Will I stay with you?” Dark finished, “Of course.”

Guiding Virgil to the bed, Dark pushed him gently onto it and tucked him in, before stretching out beside him, and brushing his hair back off his face. “Do you need to talk about what happened with the Sides?”

Shaking his head, Virgil took a deep, shuddering breath. “No. No it’s okay. Nothing really happened I just…I just needed a break from the mindscape.”

“Got it.”

As Virgil was slowly beginning to drift into a doze to regain his energy from the panic attack, a loud bang followed by extreme cursing had him sitting bolt upright in fear, nearly knocking Dark off the bed from the urgency of his movements. The grey-skinned ego immediately grabbed Virgil and pulled him close.

“It’s okay. Most likely Wil. Stay here, you’ll be safe, no one can get in here.” He ordered.

Nodding, but not looking convinced, Virgil’s fingers curled around Dark’s hand. Pulling his hand up, Dark kissed Virgil’s knuckles and offered a gentle smile. “I’ll be back I promise.”

Flushed slightly, Virgil nodded again and let Dark go, burying himself in the covers while Dark went to sort out whatever it was that Wilford had done.

#virgil sanders #darkiplier #dark/virgil #prompts #tw panic attacks #repost #so queue me